#it's about the complications

[revvethasmythh]

it's like, the thing I like the most about widobrave is that it's COMPLICATED. like written on a hill in ten foot tall letters, capital C complicated. it's like there's this person who is the only person you have and the way you engage with each other isn't exactly platonic but that's okay because honestly both of you needed that level of intimacy at the time in order to survive. you call her your "life partner" and when a near-stranger asks if you're a couple, you reply "Sure" with the confidence of someone who knows that she is your person just as much as you are her person. you are unsure of everything (everything) in the world and deeply distrustful, but not of her, not even when you try to convince yourself you can't trust her, not really. because she's your person, she's your life partner. and if people assume you're a couple? well. are they really wrong? (you huddled for warmth with her, and isn't that where romance has started for you once before?) why, then, would you dissuade them of that notion?

then everything changes (when the fire nation attacks) because it turns out she is not your person. she's been married this entire time and she already has a person and he is not you. that your place in her life is disrupted as you realize she was never really yours to begin with. you were too intimate to be just friends--the first time you meet her husband, she compliments you a little too much and then has to rush to assure him you weren't her romantic partner--but never quite lovers, even though you wouldn't have minded if people assumed you were. everything from then on is walking that tightrope of platonic-romantic love, trying to maintain that intimacy but also trying not to cross the line in the sand anymore. you are not her familiar soul. you don't get to see her interior whole. and that's just the way that it is

and also like there's this guy. he's handsome and sad and you hate dealing with your own problems--jesus fuck you have a lot of them right now--and you'd do just about anything to worry about someone else's issues rather than your own. and he's handsome. didn't you already think that? whatever, it's true. he's quiet and he's smart and he's awkward and gods he kind of reminds you of your husband sometimes, when the moonlight streams in through the window just so and make his eyes glitter like that. now, you've given up on ever returning home and seeing your family again. your problems aren't relevant. but this guy's are. so you attach yourself to him, you help him, you support him, you care about him. he knows magic. transmutation. you think maybe there's a chance there that he could save you one day, if only he gets strong enough, smart enough, powerful enough. he could be your salvation and sometimes, when he doesn't realize you've noticed, you catch him looking at you like you could be his too.

maybe you start out thinking this relationship is going to be transactional. you help him get stronger, he puts you back in the body you're supposed to be in. simple. not really, as it turns out, because you actually adore him. some latent part of yourself that just wants to care for someone comes to life again and you're going to care for this guy if it's the last thing you do. you'll be his advocate, you'll be his person, and you have no doubt he'll do the same for you. until your home is attacked--his people did this--and the family you'd resigned yourself never to see again are in danger. no question about it, you have to save them (it's what you always do, after all). revealing this rocks your relationship with him, but this is just more important that some guy you've come to care about who maybe you cared too much about on occasion. it just is. then you get your husband back and what do you do after that? leave him and this family of friends you've created? go back to being the person you used to be? no, you can't do that until you have your body back. you have the time to figure it all out.

except this guy you've tethered yourself to is brilliant, actually, and it doesn't take him that long to figure out how to change you. you love his brilliance and his goofiness and the bone deep way that he cares. you kiss him one time, sweetly, before you think you're turning back into you, because this is the last time you're allowed to behave so transgressively. besides, in your old body isn't it possible all these feelings will just go away? but they don't. when you get your body back, the feelings stay and--fuck--they get worse, actually. you try to brush it off but those feelings grow and your conflict deepens. you love this guy, this brilliant wizard you've tethered yourself to. you love your husband, too, but you can't figure out if you're in love with him anymore. you have one foot on either side of the divide (your family or your friends, him or your husband) and you genuinely don't know what to do, what the right choice is, which version of you you want to be. your heart is in a cage and it keeps on beating away

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[girlinafairytale]

[stargirl230]

thanks for the light

I was just trying to figure out how procreate works but then the op brainworms got to me and 35 hours later here we are! can you tell I miss home-cooked meals :')

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)

[aueua]

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

[nikoisme]

Hear me out. Somewhere Else but it's medieval england with a certain guy

[ashleyrguillory]

And I didn’t talk to him ever again

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

[ragingtrees]

bro cannot enjoy his milk in peace

[shirecorn]

Monsters

Bittersweet Dreams || Perspective || Evil || Fighter

[feralforbeanix]

He loved her immediately I'm gonna cry

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael and Vanny had wild teen years in FNAF

[geezmarty]

karlach and the benefits of having a sorcerer gf

[eeternalferret]

I hate when people get on your back about a ship because it's 'toxic' like bro i said they are in love not that they should be.

[disabeetled]

reminder to all my disabled lovelies that "gross" symptoms do not make you gross or lesser in any way. incontinence, vomiting, irritable bowels, or gastrointestinal issues shouldn't be as demonized as they are. you are real, valid, and loved

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again