#it's a well-hidden toggle too!

[returnofismasm]

It's been years, but I don't think I'll ever quite get over the guy on the Obsidian forums decrying the death of gaming because Pillars of Eternity Deadfire included an entirely optional Hide Helmets toggle.

[gutsby]

If You Like Piña Coladas

Pairing: Neighbor!Joel x Reader

Summary: You secretly make Joel a profile on Hinge. Then he shows you exactly why he doesn’t need one.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v. Oral (f!receiving). Foodplay (i.e., Joel fucks you with a fruit popsicle). Girthy, unspecified age gap. Mentions of blood.

Note: Loosely inspired by ‘Escape (The Piña Colada Song)’ by Rupert Holmes…minus the part about mutual infidelity LOL

Word count: 8.0k

Joel Miller had been on his own for too long.

The least you could get him was a date. Or even just laid.

Likes: Long walks on the beach

Actually…he hadn’t seen a coastline in ten years, at least. You backspaced slowly and then lowered Joel’s phone.

What did that old grump like to do, anyway?

In all the years you’d been living next door to Mr. Miller, you hadn’t seen him take pleasure in much of anything besides mowing his lawn, rolling his eyes, and screaming like a fiend alongside your dad at whatever game was on.

Likes: College football. Quality time with friends :-)

Nope. Corny as fuck. Backbackbackback.

You wiggled your thumbs over the keyboard in muted concentration. You knew you didn’t have much longer. Joel was currently engrossed in one of the three things he loved most—mowing long, careful rows through his backyard—and you were supposed to be watching the season finale of the Mandalorian while he did. That had been the pretext of your visit, anyway. It’d been a little over an hour since he’d stepped outside and a little under thirty since you’d let your curiosity get the better of you and seized his phone, so you figured he’d be back soon.

You had to think of something witty, and do it quick.

Feeling inspiration strike a second later, you typed:

Likes: Piña Coladas. Getting caught in the rain. Making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape.

Perfect. Easy. Everybody loved that song in the ‘70s.

Having thus put the finishing touch on Joel’s profile, you leaned back and let out a contented sigh. You scrolled. Flicked through photo after photo of your very own hand-picked selection and smiled, feeling proud.

You’d started him off strong and suave with a picture from Tommy’s wedding, wearing a tux that fit him well. Then a cool, casual snap of him at a brewery. A photo taken out on the lake, life jacket snug and showing off a sliver of his broad, bare chest. Then a picture of him at your graduation—you made sure to crop yourself out—followed by a candid shot of him playing dress-up with his niece. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that all the yet-unknown, lovely folks of Hinge would eat this shit up.

You set the radius to 100 miles. Beefed up the age range and gender preferences to include virtually every living soul over 30, tweaked a few more prompts to be cooler, then scrolled through his newly-minted profile. Again.

Oh, and— shit, wait.

Quickly, you toggled to the phone’s settings and disabled all notifications for Hinge. Then you grabbed the app and wrestled it somewhere deep within all the utilities ones that no one ever used. This had to stay hidden for now.

And, just as you stretched your thumb to make a couple last changes to his page, the back door thundered open.

Joel stumbled in, half-hunched. Rubbing his face with a towel and treading slow, heavy steps through the living room. With your heart about to burst from your throat and your impulses blown to shit, you panicked and crammed his phone in your shorts—like, in them.

Joel’s phone was just then settling above the groove of your ass when the man collapsed on the loveseat across the room. Instinctively, you drew your legs to your chest as Joel groaned and pulled the towel away from his face.

“The beast is at it again,” he declared, expression grim.

Before you could ask who ‘beast’ might be, he clarified:

“Marlene’s shit-for-brains labradoodle won’t quit diggin’ holes under my fence. Whole thing’s gonna fall if he—”

You didn’t mean to be rude, but you had to tune out the rest of what he said; your butt squirmed against the sofa as your neighbor’s phone traveled perilously down and took partial lodging between your cheeks. Then stuck.

There was no way you were getting caught like this. One stray phone call or text and you would have the world’s most jarring ringtone buzzing straight up your ass. And a very uncomfortable conversation with Joel, to be sure.

So, while he droned on about the chaos being wrought by the paws of old Sparky, you nodded to the window.

“Aw shit, Mr. Miller…did he just…dig up another?” You feigned surprise as you stared over Joel’s shoulder at a hole that didn’t even exist. Then, when he’d jumped to his feet and growled ‘No fuuuuuckin’ shot’ as he made his way over to the window, you acted fast and pulled the phone out of your ass and stuck the old, cracked thing on top of the coffee table where it’d been last and stood.

Before he could see—or say—anything else, you seized your own phone and made a swift beeline for the door.

Shouting over your shoulder, probably sounding like a fucking lunatic but not particularly caring either way:

“DAD’SCALLINGMEGOTTAGOMISTERMILLERBYE.”

And you left. You had no desire to explain your baseless, bullshit observation or why his phone was currently covered in a thin sheen of sweat from your butt.

You’d never seen so many roses in your life.

Joel Miller could legitimately give the whole Bachelor franchise a run for its money with all the goddamn virtual flowers he’d been getting from his Hinge admirers.

It’d been a week before you’d finally gotten the chance to abduct his phone again and check his ‘likes’ for yourself. Honestly, you hadn’t been expecting much—Joel was hot, but more so in a niche-ish sort of DILF-sexy way. You figured he’d be more of an acquired taste, really.

Once you’d scrolled through just over a hundred different messages, you realized at once how wrong you were.

‘GNAWING at the bars of my enclosure.’

‘Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry, I mean, Daddy?’

‘Need you in a way that is concerning to feminism.’

‘Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.’

And that was truly just the tip of the iceberg when it came to all the wild, chaotic, and horny messages Joel had received over the last week. You couldn’t believe it.

You got to firing off responses as fast as you could. Sitting cross-legged on the back porch while your dad, Joel, Tommy, and a dozen other neighbors were busy grilling burgers and soaking up as much sun as possible.

The only other person who hadn’t joined them was Tess.

She peered over your shoulder and fought back a laugh.

“That man is a fuckin’ menace to society, I swear.”

“No, we’re a menace to society. All about team effort,” you corrected her as you typed up a lightning-quick ‘Hey ;-)’ to each message, fingers moving fast.

“He doesn’t even know you’re doing this!”

“He will soon enough,” you mumbled. Grinning. Then, “Mission’s not over until that old man gets his dick wet.”

You’d probably made it through seventy or so replies and got to go back-and-forth with a couple hot prospects by the time you heard footsteps trailing up the steps—heavy ones that you instantly recognized as Joel’s. Without another word, you exited the app, turned the phone off, and chucked it to Tess, who placed it discreetly onto the porch railing where Joel had left it.

That phone really should have had a passcode on it.

Two weeks later, it did.

You saw it as soon as you’d slid your thumb up the screen in the comfort of Joel’s living room—over at his place pretending to be watching your Star Wars spin-off again—and you felt your heart jump up in your throat.

Your passcode is required to enable Face ID.

Since when the fuck did your neighbor have a passcode? Or even know how to make Face ID a thing? Or use it?

These questions and a dozen more were thrumming through your skull when you heard the screech of the back door once again. This time, instead of taking his sweet time on his yard work, Joel had only been gone five minutes. You swallowed a scream and did that dumb, reflexive thing you had before: shoved his phone in your shorts and thrust yourself back into the couch.

Practically shaking when Joel stepped into the room.

Of course, he wasn’t sweaty. His shirt wasn’t smudged with flecks of dirt or swaths of green from the grass outdoors, nor were his Wranglers the slightest bit muddied. He was perfectly clean in a plain white tee, jeans, and boots. You couldn’t help but notice how tight the short sleeves of his shirt hugged his biceps, and then you realized it was because his arms were crossed.

Joel regarded you with a look as long and as careful as the rows he was supposed to be mowing out in the middle of his backyard right now, and he let out a breath.

“Guess what,” he said.

“What?” you squeaked.

Your eyes widened without meaning to, and when Joel plopped down on the sofa beside you, you felt a shiver pulse through your body. Joel stretched his big, wide, denim-clad legs out as he leaned back, and you had to force yourself not to jump when his knee struck yours.

“I’ve gotta brush up on my Gen Z lingo,” he announced.

Wh— okay? What the fuck?

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, and feeling the slightest twinge of relief at this declaration, Joel started to tug something out of his pocket. It took you several seconds to see it, then a couple more just to work out what it was, then Joel was squeezing it. Flipping it open.

An old Motorola Razr? When did he get that?

“See, I, uh— met a girl last week,” Joel resumed, plainly careless in the way he fingered the thing in his grip.

Your chest tightened. Had he really?

“She’s a little on the…younger side. You might know her.”

Oh shit. Was Joel banging one of your friends?

You swallowed hard and nodded for him to continue. You pretended not to notice when he flipped the phone open and left it that way—starting to thumb through the keys to do something on it. You fought the urge to take a look.

To distract yourself, you watched his face instead. It was lax.

“She said somethin’ kinda funny last night, and I—” Joel paused to let out a breath of a laugh, and you nearly broke down to steal a glance at what he was looking at.

Narrowly, you resisted. And it was a lucky thing, too—the next thing you knew, Joel’s gaze was fixed right on you.

“Y’know what she said to me?” he asked.

“What?”

Joel blinked. You probably should’ve heard the click of a little button on the phone he was holding, but you didn’t.

You did feel the vibration of another phone under your ass a second later, though. That one was unmistakable.

That one was Joel’s.

Out of one more stupid, senseless instinct, you coughed. Loud. Like the momentary scratch in your throat might reasonably mask the sound and sensation of a small hunk of metal buzzing between your butt and the couch.

It didn’t, of course. You sat and stared at Joel as it rang.

Slowly, he brought the Razr to his ear. At one corner of his mouth, you could discern the first inklings of a smirk.

“Wanna answer that?” he hummed, nodding to your rear.

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

You weren’t sure how you even had the strength to do it, but you reached back and plucked his phone out of your shorts. With your gaze still stuck to his, you answered it. Put it to your own ear out of habit—and a little bit of fear.

“Hello?” you said, stupidly.

“Hey.”

The second you heard Joel’s voice rumble out beside you on the couch and across the line, your heart dropped. Ironclad confirmation of all you didn’t want to believe.

You squeezed his phone even tighter and sincerely hoped the man couldn’t hear the wild, erratic beat of your heart as it throbbed and thudded in your chest. The noise was almost too loud for you to hear anything else, too fast-paced and frantic to discern another word until:

“Can you tell me what a ‘Hinge DILF’ is, darlin’?”

You rose to your feet, scarcely even realizing it.

You had to get off of that couch, had to get away from him and come clean, as calmly as you possibly could. The phone fell out of your grasp just as he ended the call.

“Shit— Mr. Miller— I-I-I-I can explain.”

Swiftly, suddenly, Joel recovered his phone from the floor. He set the other device aside and propped his feet on the coffee table, lounging a little more comfortably now that he could scroll the phone at his leisure. Before he did, though, he made a point to wipe the screen.

“Nothin’ I love more than ass sweat on my phone.”

Your cheeks heated to a thousand degrees.

You wished the ground below your feet would open up and swallow you whole. It was like you were floating somewhere over your own body, unable to move or speak. From this vantage point, and still paralyzed with fear, you could see Joel opening Hinge on his phone.

“Crazy how long the stuff sticks,” he mused aloud, starting to peruse his likes, “When you got up and high-tailed it outta my place that first day, I thought I must’ve been seein’ things—what with how wet my phone was.”

You would’ve closed your eyes in utter resignation if you’d had the strength. Joel had known this entire time.

The old man continued to scroll, cavalier as ever.

“I figured ya might’ve been havin’ some…personal time of your own on my phone—maybe your old man blocked PornHub on the home WiFi or somethin’—but then I kept diggin’ around…” As Joel spoke, his actions seemed to mirror his words, and he was really scoping out the app. Combing through profiles and roses and streams of old messages that you had sent, then shrugged to himself.

“…and all I found added up to jackshit,” he concluded.

This time, you managed to meet his gaze when he looked back up, but really, you hardly saw him at all.

Joel was smiling.

“I did see a text, though.”

He waved his phone, where a few messages were visible, though not legible, to you. You didn’t try to read them.

“‘Welcome to Hinge! Reply ‘C’ to confirm your phone number and get started,’” Joel rattled the first one off.

Of course you’d forgotten to delete the fucking text.

“And I know my memory’s all but gone to shit, but I didn’t remember ever replying ‘C’ myself, so then—”

“It was a joke,” you choked out, cutting him off.

Joel cocked a brow. He leaned even further back in his seat and crossed his feet. You were already vomiting words before he could attempt to get one out himself.

“N-Not a funny joke,” you clarified, voice shaking, “Fuckin’ stupid as shit, I just wanted to see— y’know— me and Tess were talkin’ ‘bout how hard it must be…in your…in your fifties— it’s just hard finding somebody.”

Joel didn’t know what you were trying to say, and his face showed it. You didn’t know what you were saying.

“So you think my sex life is a joke?” Mr. Miller quipped.

“NO!”

You hadn’t meant to say it so loudly. You quieted down:

“No. I didn’t…no. I just wanted to see who would…”

“…wanna fuck me?” he finished, blunt as ever.

If your face had been hot before, surely it was about to burst into flames right now. You didn’t get like this—not around Joel Miller, not around anybody—but here you were, chest constricting with humiliation and shame, wishing you were anywhere in the world but the place you were, and Mr. Miller was smiling, he was still smiling, and it was all you could do to just stand there and…stare.

And wince when tears started to prick at your waterline.

As if this day couldn’t get any more mortifying, you were actually crying in front of your neighbor, nose stinging and beginning to leak. Stupid, stuttered gasps leaving your lungs like you’d just learned to breathe yesterday, vision blurring the man in front of you and then dimming, momentarily, as you brought your hands up to your eyes and tried to shield this wretched display from his view.

You paced a couple hasty, blind steps away. You pressed the heels of your palms so hard into your sockets that stars started to dance behind your lids and a pain began to stab your brain. You continued to sob. It was just then dawning on you that you’d have to make a run for it now and never set foot near this man’s property again. You’d have to lock yourself away, never get to go to a barbecue again, probably face a restraining order from Joel and—

“FUCK!” you shrieked.

With all the grace of a giraffe on roller skates, you tumbled over Joel’s end table and took a nosedive into the floor. Your hands had no choice but to fly out in front of you in an effort to break your fall, and of course, they had to land on a lone, stray beer bottle on the ground.

One lovely little container of Corona Extra went splintering under the weight of your whole body, and briefly, before the thing exploded beneath your palm, you swore you could’ve heard a tiny, self-righteous voice:

‘¡La Vida Más Fina!’

Fuck you, Corona.

You’d never been more embarrassed in your life. Even if the bottle had managed to roll far enough to nick just the edge of your hand, slicing a minuscule strip of skin beneath your thumb, you still wanted to cry even harder. You looked pathetic, crumpled up beside this man’s couch with your wrist pinched between your fingers and your tears paving two steady streams down your cheeks. Hedged in by a field of shattered glass, you cast a look around yourself and whimpered. Then cursed. And cried.

You heard the shards around you crackle and snap even more when a pair of boots stepped in and crushed them.

Joel made easy work of your deadweight frame—your body hanging limply in his grip as he hoisted you up to your feet. Your vision was still as bleary as it had ever been, nose running and stinging and still struggling to take in breaths, but Mr. Miller’s hold was steady. He guided you into the kitchen and straight over to the sink.

Water ran. Wounds stung. A couple more sobs clawed out of your throat while Joel held your hand under the faucet, dabbed a paper towel across your hand to dry it off, then disappeared, momentarily, to retrieve what you assumed would be a first aid kit from the other room.

Instead, Mr. Miller returned with a fifth of Maker’s Mark. You eyed the bottle of whiskey in his hand and grimaced.

“N-Nuh-uh,” you blubbered, emphatic, “No way, man.”

“Uh, yes way, man,” Joel mimicked your voice, nose scrunching for dramatic effect as he elevated the pitch, “Like, you totally need this antiseptic so you don’t die.”

“I don’t s-sound like that!”

“I don’t so-o-und like that!”

Of course your neighbor couldn’t be assed to show an ounce of compassion to another person for more than two minutes. He drew closer with the whiskey. When he grabbed your wrist, you huffed and shook your head.

“That’s gonna hurt. I don’t want it.”

“Oh, cry me a fuckin’ river.”

Though as soon as he’d said it, the man winced a little. Maybe that had been a bit too harsh. You sniffled hard.

“Fuck you, Miller— I-I was doin’ you a favor!” you spat.

Tears and snot becoming the fuel for part of your newfound indignation, you shot Joel a look and scowled. You wrenched your hand out of his grip and made a point to rebuff the bottle of liquor as you moved back, shaking your head again. Mr. Miller stood there and watched you.

“Only time you ever leave this fuckin’ house is when you’re hangin’ out with my dad or your brother, you haven’t got shit else to do around here but mow that fuckass lawn and jerk off— I was tryin’ to help you out! Get you laid like any normal guy would like, but no, no— you’ve gotta go and be the world’s biggest ASSHOLE about it, just like you are with everything else. I’m sorry.”

Deep down, you were and weren’t remorseful at all.

You were sorry you’d gotten caught, ate shit over a side table and got your palm fucked up by a bottle of beer.

You weren’t as sorry that Joel seemed to be regarding you as a joke now—something to tease and poke fun at. Trying to pour his makeshift disinfectant over your cut and force you to obey his orders because you were just too dumb to figure it out yourself, then mock your voice.

Then watch you with tightly knit brows, eyes scanning your face with a skepticism that was almost palpable.

Condescending old fuck.

“What? Ain’t got nothin’ to say to that?” you seethed. Emotions running high—and humiliation momentarily usurped by anger—you stared him down and dared him to speak. You didn’t care what he thought of you now.

If it had been in your interest to care, you probably would’ve looked a little harder at what the man’s body language was communicating to you in the meantime. What his mouth was evidently loath to say, his hands and feet hardly displayed the same reticence: he set the bottle aside and stepped closer to you. He stared back.

It wasn’t until he’d approached near enough, had closed the space between your body and his with barely more than an inch or two to spare, and glowered down at you, face frozen with a frown, that your brain got the hint that he might not be the type to chicken out. Or back down.

He reached behind you and opened a cabinet.

“A favor,” Joel echoed, and you could tell he was trying his hardest not to replicate your intonation as he said it.

He’d just marginally checked his douchebag predilection, was closing the cabinet door beside your head and was starting to rock back on his heels, when a little cylindrical glass swung low in your line of vision. Joel held the tumbler loosely, then lifted it and pointed with his pinky.

“You,” he said, accusing, “fuckin’ suck at those—favors.”

Your stomach clenched at the sight of a slight, impish smile just then starting to frame the sides of his mouth. The featherlight grip he kept fastened on the glass, the ease of his stance, even the jab of that stupid, rough finger, still pointing at you, all bordered on nauseating. You fixed him with a pitiless look as he leaned in again.

And when his knuckles brushed your side, you tried not to flinch. You arrested his gaze without a word and let the smug, sun-tanned, sweet-as-shit-pie son of a bitch have his fill ogling you back and closing in on the bottle.

“What? Having half the tri-county population on Hinge ready to suck you off isn’t really your style?” you jeered.

Joel popped the cap and poured his drink. He shrugged.

“They ain’t you.”

As casual as if he’d just told you the weather forecast for the week ahead, his favorite place to eat, or the mundane specs on a construction project he’d been saddled with for months. Nothing of note. Nothing unknown. Just a routine admission of truth that sent your head reeling.

“You wh— w— well that’s—” you stammered, equal parts astonishment and exasperation as he continued to feed you steady, unrelenting doses of that look: “GROSS!”

You were standing stock-still, forced to watch that blip of a grin morph into a full smirk, slowly. He had to be joking.

“You are…fucked in the head, Miller. That’s not funny.”

Now you were the one pointing. Joel was drinking.

“—and I’d never in a million years even think—”

The side of your palm began to throb. It bled.

Blood was trickling down your wrist, roaring like thunder in your skull as your heart thudded away, impatient.

Impatient.

Impatient, impatient, impleeeeeeeeease fuck me, Joel, PLEASE!

Your libido a filthy, rotten traitor to all the rest of your better sense, you continued to stand there and suffocate on words like something akin to acid reflux in the throat. Your thighs snapped together, your back collapsed with equal force against the rigid set of cabinets behind it, and slowly, almost excruciating this time, you felt the pulse between your legs give way to a bout of warmth.

That cockhungry slut governing your bodily functions was actually getting wet for this asshole, and you were powerless to the effects of her wily, DILF-lusting ways.

“Gross,” you uttered out loud, again, reflexively—face overlaid with a look of horror as the heat began to pool.

And, as though the man had been endowed with the gift of infrared vision, or else just an external thermostat to gauge how hot you’d gotten between your two sweating legs, Joel brightened. His gaze flirted down to that soft, unseasonably tepid spot with a knowing look and then—

“Gross,” he parroted back. The smile behind his eyes said he wasn’t disgusted at all, just teasing some more.

When he pinched your wrist to get back to the business of blotting out blood with a paper towel, he kept that smug look painted across his creased, ancient face.

“‘S’that why ya made a Hinge for me? ‘Cause I’m gross?” Mr. Miller applied pressure to the still-bleeding cut, then directed your other hand to hold the paper towel in place.

You shook your head.

“No,” you started, trying not to wince before he turned. Again, the man ambled out of the kitchen, only to come back momentarily—finally—with a long-awaited bandaid.

“I mean…yeah, you’re a perv, but that’s beside the point.”

Joel exhaled a little harder through his nose. He pressed the underside of your palm again, ensuring the bloodflow had stopped, then swapped the napkin for the bandage. The adhesive might’ve been in place for two seconds before he was retreating again; this time, to the fridge.

“Then what was the point?”

Joel yanked one door open. You glanced over your shoulder to the one that led out to the back porch.

The longer you stayed, the harder it would be to go.

Go.

GO!

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly.

From where you were standing, you weren’t sure why you’d decided to make Joel the profile in the first place. Your curiosity, for one thing, had been one hell of a persuasive motivator to getting you scrolling on Joel’s behalf, but why did you care one way or another if your neighbor was drowning in pussy or enduring Sahara desert-levels of dick deprivation at his big age? It sure as fuck wasn’t your business to care, and nothing about Joel Miller had ever intrigued you consistently enough to venture an inquiry about his personal life before, so…

“Why?”

Joel was looming overhead again, the force of his presence like a fist through your chest. In an effort to steady your breaths, you turned your gaze away from his.

“I should go.” You couldn’t have dodged his last question more clumsily, or pathetically, if you’d tried, “It’s…late.”

Outside, the midday sun was still high in the sky, and there was nowhere in the world you had to be, Joel knew.

“Okay,” he said at length.

Then he leaned in closer and held something out.

“At least take one for the road, alright?”

And he was smiling, almost kind.

You looked down and—shit.

There it was, clear as day: a creamy piña colada popsicle.

The sneaky, conceited motherfucker had remembered what you’d written in his dating profile. You winced.

You accepted the cocktail popsicle without a word.

‘Thanks’ or ‘You’re a fucking pig, Miller’ likely would’ve sufficed for a farewell on any account, but by then, you were far too shell-shocked—and frankly, incredulous—of everything that had just transpired over the course of the last thirty minutes. You didn’t thank Mr. Miller, nor insult him by likening him to swine or any other thing; you left.

Your feet carried you fast out of his house.

Down the steps of his back porch, across pristine, power-washed concrete, past seemingly endless beds of hibiscus blossoms, marigolds, cape plumbago, and those god-awful periwinkle plants—who the fuck enjoyed gardening in a heatwave, anyway?—you practically sprinted away in a fugue state until the toes of your shoes hit the edge of your lawn, then you stopped.

“FUCK!”

You’d forgotten your phone.

It felt as though your body were turning in slow motion, and for a second, you seriously considered abandoning the device altogether and begging your dad for another. Then you set your sights on the wide, uninviting exterior of the back of your neighbor’s house, the place you’d just been hauling ass to escape, and almost rolled your eyes.

Joel was leaning back against the frame of his open back door, arms crossed, expression smug as he watched you.

It was extraordinarily difficult to throw a half-decent punch at a man while wielding a popsicle in your hand.

“Give it back!” you barked.

“Give what back?” Joel grinned, easily side-stepping what struck him as neither a punch nor a slap—in fact, the hit never struck him at all. He laughed as it missed.

“You know what.”

Of course, you’d gone back. Of course, Joel had tried to play dumb and pretend like you’d never left your phone behind at all. And of course, he hadn’t budged until you’d threatened to shove your left foot so far up his ass his dentist would be picking toes out of his teeth for weeks.

‘Violent little thing, ain’t ya?’ Joel had replied, chuckling.

Then, when he’d attempted to brush you aside with a patronizing wave of his hand and an admonition to run on back to daddy and quit buggin’ me, all bets were off. You’d aimed right for center mass and nearly dropped your frozen treat with how hard you’d shoved his chest.

That was how the conversation had started.

That was how the so-called ‘altercation’ had come to be—Joel easily swatting you off and indulging you no further than to chuckle and laugh and taunt you like an older brother who was faced with a sibling half his size—and all the while, your injured hand was throbbing again. White, sticky rivers of melted popsicle now trickled down your wrist instead of blood, and you were just as pissed.

“Listen—” Joel began, catching a fist meant for his face.

“Gimme my fuckin’ phone, Miller!”

“—you—”

“Can go to hell.”

“—owe me.”

“Owe you?!”

You stopped. Your weak, one-handed assault was halted just long enough to peer into Joel’s eyes, and the gaze that met yours was solid. Sincere as you’d ever seen it and blinking slow as the chocolate browns of his irises moved lower over you. Whether they were drinking you in, sizing you up, or merely plotting your demise by calculated turns, you could have been no more certain, or prepared to hear, what came out of his mouth next:

“Wanted to do me a favor, didn’t ya? C’mere.”

And the next thing you knew—or felt—was one thick finger hooking into your belt loops. One swift tug in his direction, another light push toward the old wood railing to your side, and then more fingers crowding in, crawling over, seizing the coarse denim material and pulling hard like the thing was the single most annoying impediment.

“Take these off,” Joel grunted.

You were too stunned to move. Even breathing felt like a chore, every last sense elevated to impossible heights, it wasn’t surprising at all when Joel just went and did it all himself. In a blink, your shorts were yanked down and then dropped to your ankles, your legs guided backward in shuffled steps, and then, nearly tripping in the fabric at your feet, you fell back, ass smacking the flat railing. You winced at the warm, knotty texture of the cedar beneath you and, out of habit, shot the old man a look.

Joel cocked a brow in response, likely already knowing what that glare from you was intended to convey, and instead of giving voice to any words himself, just sank.

Lower and lower and lower, until his knees were the only things holding him upright on the floor before you and his hands were pressing—melting—into your thighs.

Audibly, his kneecaps cracked.

You couldn’t help but giggle.

While Mr. Miller’s mouth moved dangerously close to a place you should’ve been appalled to see him go, all you felt capable of doing in that absurd moment, it seemed, was laugh. You gripped the thick white column beside you, scooted back slightly until you were in a comfier seated position, then snagged your lower lip between your teeth to contain the sound, but it was of no use.

Joel was both drooling and scowling between your legs.

“That funny, huh?” he managed in a low, ragged breath, “Sound’a some crackin’ joints on a man as old as me?”

“Yeah,” you said. Smug, for once.

Admittedly, any other normal person in your position would’ve been concerned with about a million different, more pressing issues—namely, your neighbor and dad’s best friend sticking his face between your legs—but really, after all the frivolity, commotion, and fucking insane behavior the two of you that day, it was like your brain had logged off and left the body to its own devices.

You didn’t mind that for right now.

When Joel’s tongue grazed the space between the cusp of your panties and inner thigh, you really didn’t mind.

Fuck it. If this was the favor he’d wanted after all, so be it.

As if reconsidering the foray of his mouth for the time being, Joel tilted back a little: just far enough to get his hands on your underwear and start tearing those down your hips too. One short, hot puff of air from his lips was a bliss unto itself, and your knees instinctively kicked up. With the thin white fabric barely halfway down one calf, you hooked your ankle over Joel’s shoulder and cursed.

“My daddy’s gonna kill you for this, Mr. Miller.”

And, for what felt like the thousandth time, Joel smiled.

Bigger this time, as if to show he didn’t really care at all what the man next door was liable to say or do about his present endeavor as long as he got to stay. You let him.

He pressed a kiss to your slick, puffy lips and hummed.

“Fine by me.”

Without another word the tip of the man’s tongue glided up the length of your slit and curled in, drawing your arousal between his lips in a hungry sort of kiss, and then sank even deeper. Going nose-deep in just one go, the old man looked positively obscene burying his face so far inside; his features alone a cruel, unseemly sort of fixture between legs as smooth and supple and warm as yours—how did a man so many years your senior get to be so lucky?—and somewhere further, in the darkest recesses of your mind, the sight sparked desire. A hunger, really.

Seeing that silver, stubbled chin getting drenched in your wetness, the weathered lines of his face growing even deeper with each new movement of his tongue, the strain in his neck with muscles that were firm and taut and so visibly aged with decades and decades of life—

You adored it.

A man Joel’s age never looked more out of place and still somehow perfectly fit for the space between your thighs.

You lowered the hand that was cradling your popsicle, braced your weight against the railing with the other, and then pressed on either side of his skull with your legs, quiet moans tumbling one after the next off your tongue.

“‘S’all for me?” Joel breathed, licking and suckling kisses along your clit, “This sweet, needy pussy’s all mine?”

“All yours.”

You scarcely recognized the sound of your own voice. Your legs were shaking. Though you loved to see him make you come undone, piece-by-piece, you also couldn’t bring yourself to stare a second longer, stimulation too great and his tongue too good.

If he kept going at a rate like this, you’d have no choice but to cum, and you didn’t want to be done just yet. Or ever. You refocused your gaze to look down and tell him as much, when your mouth fell open around a gasp, rather than words, and the weight in your hand fell away.

Swiftly, Joel took the popsicle in his own grasp and slid it down to the vicinity of his lips and tongue, now grinning.

The thing was half-melted by now, having sufficiently soaked half your forearm and leaving a vague, sugary aroma in its wake, but it was still intact. Still unlicked—unlike you—and still perfectly cool and light and long. The off-white hue was almost taunting in the way it winked and caught rays of the sunlight shining behind you, and as the man slid it even lower, you jumped back.

“Joel,” you hissed.

“What?” he hummed.

“That’s not—” You blinked, swallowing a moan.

“Not what?”

One warm, callused hand pressed the tip of the frozen thing to your bundle of nerves—the first contact it had had since Joel’s tongue—and you let out a low whine.

Even after all that time in the sun, the popsicle seared your soft, wet, aching parts with a biting cold you’d never thought possible. It sent waves of a strange, trembling pleasure coursing through your lower half and left your head with no choice but to moan. And fist Joel’s hair in a vice-like grip when he angled the wooden stick lower.

Suddenly, the white, sticky head slipped from your clit to the rim of your yet-untouched entrance, and that made your muscles leap to attention once again. You cursed.

“Not what, honey?” Joel pressed, with affection—and as he did, sank the tip of the popsicle deeper inside you.

“Th— that’s not—” You were shaking your head, racking your brain for any trace of the English language and failing miserably, “Not…doesn’t…g-go there, fuck.”

Joel sank the pretty, dribbling popsicle another inch inside your pussy and sucked a whistle through his teeth. If your senses weren’t as raw and utterly shot as they were, you likely would’ve seen the expression on his face transform from one of pleasure and amusement to awe, eyes darkening at the sight of your hole opening wider.

“That’s it, baby, take it,” he cooed, voice low.

Another couple soft utterances of ‘Joel,’ and your legs only parted wider. Free to grip his hair, the railing, the column beside you, or just the insides of your own palm as the icy sensation sank inwards and into your body, you whimpered. Your hips, instinctively, bucked toward the source, and you heard Joel’s groan join your sounds.

He withdrew his new toy just far enough to make you mewl for him again, then drove it deeper. With the friction of that, a stream of white went trickling out.

Joel couldn’t help himself; he flattened his tongue against the stream and licked you clean from the spot where he’d split you open to the cusp of your clit. He circled that place over and over, worked the object in his hand even further inside and back out again, then, getting a taste of your arousal with the white, wet, sticky-sweet juices starting to mix together, he moaned.

It was a guttural sound, something just shy of the ‘feral’ demarcation but at least ten steps ahead of desperate. You relished the gruff, throaty sound reverberating from his lips to your cunt, the way your walls fluttered around it and for him, and were just about to throw your head back and grind your hips even harder when it stopped.

Joel stopped. He started to get up.

Quickly for him, but slow as molasses from your point of view, the man straightened from his place on the hard wooden floor and expelled a breath. His chest heaved, and his torso twisted to one side, momentarily, to get the strain out of his back as best he could. From where you sat, the spattering of grey in his beard seemed to glisten even brighter with the sheen of your arousal now sticking in it. He wiped his chin and reached in between your legs.

“Got any favors left in ya, sweet pea?” he smirked.

Fortunately for you, it didn’t sound like a question at all, and didn’t appear to be intended that way, as the next second had Joel pulling the largely-spent popsicle out of your slick and straight into your mouth. He didn’t inquire whether he could push it down on your tongue and make you taste your own cunt on the thin wooden stick, but the smile on your lips assured him that was fine by you.

Nor did he ask for your permission to flip you around, bend you over his porch railing, and take your hips in his hands. You were still sucking down the last traces of sugar and citrus and a vaguely tangy taste when you felt the head of something else prod your soft, wet folds.

Much bigger—and warmer—than the thing that had breached you before, Joel nudged at your hole with the tip of his cock, coated the head of it in light, gentle circles, and sucked in a breath. He didn’t have to ask, and you didn’t need to answer; he just parted your walls with the force of one steadying thrust, and the pulse of that sharp, dizzying pleasure was back in an instant.

Shared this time, and manifesting in sounds from you and Joel alike: you gritting the stick between your teeth and managing muffled cries of his name and whatever expletives you could scream, Joel with ragged breaths.

For a man who ostensibly hadn’t fucked since the Clinton administration, he was off to a pretty good start.

Joel gripped your hip even tighter and started to saw his cock in and out of your dripping, pliant hole, his other fist finding purchase in your hair for more leverage. His thrusts were shallow enough at first to get you used to the new stretch, and you could feel him making space in a way no man’s girth ever had before. You couldn’t see his face, but you imagined it had come to settle into a mix of guilt, rigid composure, and pussydrunk pleasure.

“Good girl,” Joel murmured behind you. Then, groaning, “Good fuckin’ girl, keep squeezin’ my cock just like that.”

You felt a slap on the ass and the speed of his thrusts pick up in turn. Your mouth fell open in a moan, and the stick on your tongue almost slipped out of place when, shortly, Joel leaned over your body and pulled you back. He snagged the popsicle stick between his teeth just in time to get your back flush with his front—in perfect position to get fucked against the nearest column.

Breaths coming out in short, ragged grunts in your ear, Joel teased the side of your face with the stick, then nudged it back in your mouth. You sucked it softly.

“One more favor, baby?” he panted against your cheek.

You nodded, not knowing what it was but that you wanted to be the one giving it. Joel pulsed inside you.

With every stab of his cock, every string of your wet, messy, combined arousals making the most profane noises imaginable between your body and his, you were squeezing him tighter and teetering on release. Joel’s hand snaked down between your legs, and just as the head of his cock nudged against that spot, you keened.

“Any favor?” Joel groaned and nipped at your earlobe.

The heft of his stomach and chest made for a warm, sturdy place to start rocking your hips, greying peach fuzz at the base of his belly a small comfort as you writhed against his body and whined that you’d do anything, anything he wanted, as long as he let you cum.

Joel’s middle finger found your clit, and you nearly screamed at the welt of pleasure coming to a head. Again, the popsicle stick tumbled out, but neither one of you could be bothered to try and keep it in this time.

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

The man behind you didn’t even attempt to conceal his grin as he leaned closer, hugging your body to his while he circled your clit and fucked you harder, lips straying every now and then to press a kiss on your shoulder. He plunged his cock deeper and was met with a squeezing, leaking mess trickling down his length and onto his balls, growing louder with each new wet slap against your ass. The old man was a tease, but he couldn’t hold on forever.

“Wanna fill you up,” Joel groaned.

“Cum inside?” you murmured.

You were barely able to tilt your chin to him, but when you did, he held it—made you look him in the eyes and, for once, give your unequivocal permission to do it then.

And you did.

You were startled to find Joel’s lips crashing against yours in the next second, mouth overwhelmed with the remains of your own taste, his tongue, and a series of relentless, hammering thrusts. It was only a matter of moments, then, before your resolve gave way and his followed suit, and the waves of pleasure between you both manifested in ropes of sticky, hot cum painting your walls. Joel held you closer, as though needing to feel his seed as he fucked you through it, groaning when he felt it start to move with each sharp, stuttered thrust.

You panted in his mouth coming down. You kissed him back. You almost couldn’t believe the sensation between your legs, soon to come dripping out and undoubtedly bound to make a mess all over the floor of Joel’s porch.

Equally unbelievable was the fact that you’d just fucked your neighbor in broad daylight, outside, with Marlene’s house directly to your left and your own on the right.

You stared out at the sprawling expanse in front of you—Joel’s impeccably kempt yard, one of the reasons why you were standing where you were just then—and, as you’d found yourself before, you felt the urge to laugh.

Not on account of Joel’s old, ailing knees, this time.

Clearly, the man still trying to catch his breath behind you suspected that that might’ve been the case, though, because you felt him shift his weight and grunt, lightly.

“What’s so funny? My knees crack when I cum, too?”

You could feel the smallest of scowls start to take shape, muted momentarily with kisses that he pressed on your cheek, and others, still more teasing, down your neck.

You let him, unfazed and still giggling. Then pointing.

It seemed Joel was loath to detach his lips from your neck—or his cock from the place he’d just stuffed full—but when you lifted your finger to indicate a direction toward the side of his backyard, his senses perked up.

There, along the white picket fence between his yard and Marlene’s, was the furry, merciless, lawn-destroying labradoodle that had been plaguing Joel’s life for years.

The man was out of you in an instant. He yanked his jeans up even quicker, tucking his dick back, clumsily, into its place in a fit of rage, then cupping his hands:

“WILL YOU FUCK THE HELL OFF, SPARKY?!”

[vegafan69]

☆ aaron headcanons !!

sfw and nsfw !! i louv aaron sm omg stop i need more of him he's so kitten kawaii nya daddy alpha sigma

sfw ;;

he loves motor racing games, driving ruthlessly during battles but never in real life. beats the fuck out of the honk button whenever someone annoys him on the streets

he had to save up money and toggled jobs a lot as a kid (canon) and he feels bad for not being able to buy elliott and himself nice food and toys. now that he’s financially stable, he randomly sends eli some money as a treat. he just says it’s a treat but truly he just wants to make up for the past (WAHHHHHHHH)

he hates alcoholics thanks to his mom

he tries to take care of smartass, eli and sunshine cause he never had a father figure :(

he’s actually really good with children, he knows how to care and make them stop crying. he might seem a little annoyed at a child crying but they make him really soft

he likes being the little spoon occasionally

he’s allergic to dogs but wants one :3 he would get a beagle or a chihuahua

he started to actually learn to make food after moving in with smartass. he’s not bad at it but he often overdoes the seasoning

he has brown curly ish hair, and smartass likes to twirl it

aaron started to catch feelings for smartass after a few heart to heart convos :3 <3

aaron have had many people, especially boys have crushes on him during high school. but he was always occupied with taking care of himself and elliott, therefore never had time to think of crushes.

(pre dating) smartass cried silently during work once. aaron let them cry in his shoulders, his back backed against a hidden corner in the office. that was the moment where he realized he felt more than just ‘hatred’ for them.

aaron has/had (?) a heart to heart convo with sunshine, hearing how soft and gentle they are with elliott makes him happy and somber, regretting some of the times he yelled at his lil bro (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

nsfw ;;

he loves teasing and frustrating his brat, tugging their hair backwards and humiliating them ;) he can humiliate this pussy anytime

DADDY KINK. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW HARD HE GETS WHEN HE CALLS HIMSELF DADDY. DADDY I’LL TAKE UR COCK SO WELL OH MY GODDDD.

“You wanna be a good slut for daddy?” YES DADDY I WILL BE A GOOD SLUT FOR YOU OH MY EIWOSOCPWPJDDKHDKSHDEJDH

spanking and random hits on the skin :3

his body melts once being overstimulated, unable to speak a word

they both have thought of fucking each other so badly (when smartass was still under aaron’s management). they both would get REAL angry and horny when they get off work

smartass notices aaron’s neck and hands a lot - and he knows it. he wears nice necklaces and rings to get their attention almost daily. and he occasionally takes them off too cause it’s hot. im doing it are you

smartass begged to put a toy in him. he let them. he liked it but will not admit it. get pregnant bossman

he would have glasses of water next to the bed. cause you need to hydrate during sex 🤓☝️

taglist @mokozroach @dukecollinsbf @infinitelovewiithoutfulfilmentt @everything-redacted00 @laskosprettygirl @achios @porters-fangs @ilovealotofwomen @jaxfart @lexdoesntdraw @chmease @darlin-collins @annahxredaxted @breezysuffers @ashertickler

[gotchi-blog]

Sumikko Friend Review

This will be a long one. I never really thought that I will own any virtual pet that isn't Tamagotchi. But then I saw Sumikko Friend and I couldn't stop thinking about it for months, until I got a chance to buy it. It was pricey, true, but after having it for a while I can say - it's worth it.

General score: 9/10

Design

First off, I really love the design. The toy is of similar size as a colour-screen Tamagotchi, but it's way lighter. The back is flat - you can rest the device comfortably on a table or other surface, however most of the interactions use the motion sensor, so get ready to hold your new buddy a lot. It ever has little leg-like bumps to avoid scratching the back.

The screen is the same size as Tamagotchi's, but it differs when it comes to the display. Sumikko screen is way softer, with pastel colours. Very nice to look at, especially if you're a fan of pastel aesthetics. However, it's a pain to take a good photo of it - the contrast is too low to make the details of the background as well-visible as in real life. It's a shame. I want people to see how pretty the rooms and animations are! Especially since some of the wallpapers for the rooms are animated, something I've never seen in Tamagotchi.

The brightness settings are alright. The sound is a bit worse - the device is quite loud even at the lowest setting. And it makes a lot of sounds - games, animations, Friend Mode. There is always some squeaking to be done. Fortunately, the sounds are all very pleasant, so it's actually a very nice experience. Just remember to mute it in public. Another trick is to simply cover the speaker at the back with your finger - that's not really possible with Tamagotchi, where the speakers are more hidden.

The device comes with 2 covers - Tokage and Shirokuma. I will elaborate on their functions later on. Here I just want to say that they are so pretty. The designs are simple and very cute. Especially the Shirokuma cover gets me - the little ears are just adorable. The plastic used is solid, matte and smooth, very pleasant to touch.

Finally, there are 2 physical buttons and one touch one, hidden at the top of the device. The left button is used to choose, the right one to confirm, and the touch button on top is the cancel one. The buttons are responsive and nice to touch. The touch one is very sensitive and works very well.

2. Basic idea behind the device

Sumikko Friend is my first non-Tamagotchi virtual pet, so I had to adjust to a different gameplay. The most important difference is that your characters don't evolve nor grow up. You have 2 pets in this model: Tokage (a blue water dragon who pretends to be a lizard) and Shirokuma (a polar bear who moved south due to disliking cold climate.) They don't change - the goal of taking care of them is to become good friends. They don't grow old nor leave. The true fun is playing and interacting with the characters. There are a few levels of friendship and they are increased by playing, feeding and petting Tokage and Shirokuma.

Another important goal is to collect pictures of Sumikko characters, foods and toys. It's done through using traps - there are quite a lot of them. You can either buy them or get them through Outing (another feature I will elaborate on later while talking about the main menu.) This part of the gameplay is cute, though not the most engaging. I often forget about it, but once I remember, I have to admit - the Sumikko illustrations are very cute.

So yeah, your buddies won't die if you mistreat them. They might run away, though. Still, getting them back is not difficult. Generally, Sumikko Friend is not that demanding when it comes to attention it needs.

3. Sumikko Rooms and Basic Care

Here you have an overview of the menu. We'll start with the Sumikko Rooms.

There are 2 of them - Tokage's and Shirokuma's. The characters sit, sleep and play there. You can toggle between them with the left button. The right one opens the care menu. Here you can feed, play the games that use the covers, clean the room, use the shower, check the stats and go Outing. You can also give toys to your pets and change the room wallpaper/furniture.

What's important about feeding is that both characters have their favourite/disliked foods. The favourite foods will fill up the hunger meter faster, while the disliked foods will get rejected and not eaten. You can check which items are liked/disliked by each character online (I highly recommend checking out the English translation of the manual made by Fuzzy N Chic - it includes the foods and care tips too.)

Showering and cleaning the room is needed more often if you play the games a lot. Especially the room dusting is important - if you don't do it often enough, the dust will block your screen and make it impossible to play until you clean it.

Remodel allows you to change the wallpaper and the furniture in the left corner of the screen. Some of the wallpapers are unlocked through increasing the friendship meter, some are obtained through Outing. The furniture can be either bought in the Sumikko Market or obtained through Outing as well. The wallpapers are usually animated - it's a beautiful detail. The moving swing or a tree rustling in the wind are very cute.

The toys unlock new idle animations. They are adorable - I especially love the doll house and knitting ones. While knitting, the characters take a break to stare at you, which feels like a real interaction that happen when your pet realises that you're watching them play. Very sweet.

Outing is a very interesting feature. While using it, the screen shows a map. When you walk around with the Sumikko device in your pocket/backpack, the little pin on the map moves around. In the top left corner, you see the counter of the circles walked around the map. The device actually reacts to shaking, so if you want to, you can simulate taking walks by shaking it (lazy!) In the Outing mode, the characters collect food, toys, furniture and traps for catching Sumikko.

The Friend Games: there are 5 games. They are quite simple and fun. 4 of them use the movement sensor, which makes them more interactive.

Imitating Freeze: the character makes a sequence of dance moves. Your task is to repeat them but tilting the device in the right directions

Look this way: very similar to the first one, but quicker and without the sequence part. The character's face moves in a direction. Your job is to tilt the device in the same direction

Frilly Dancing: this one will make your hand hurt. Shake the poor creature up and down as fast as you can. The goal is to set a new record when it comes to the number of shakes in the given game time

Minikko Hide & Seek: the bean-shaped thing will hide in your room. Your task is to find it. Do it by tilting the device left or right. The ringing sound will become faster once you approach the bean. When you find it, the Sumikko will have a happy face. Touch the top of the cover to end the game

Smile Stop: the only game that doesn't use the motion sensor. Stop the changing Sumikko faces on a happy or neutral one. Do it by touching the top of the cover. Pro tip: the happiest face always comes after the frowned one. Once you see the frown, get ready to click

Finally, the Friend Check option is just to check the stats. It shows you the Friend level and hunger. I was slightly surprised that the stats are the last option. On the other hand, you don't really need to check what's going on - the characters will let you know what's wrong through animations.

The Sumikko wake up at 6 am and fall asleep at 8 pm. Good for students, not that good for lazy cucks who have nothing better to do. Well, the toy is meant for a younger audience, so I can't blame them. Still, I'd prefer if they went to sleep a bit later.

4. Traps

The next option in the main menu is the Sumikko catching. To start, you need some traps. The metal claw is free and unlimited, but the rest you need to either buy at the market or get from Outing. There are a few methods of using the traps - that depends on what's displayed on the screen. Sometimes you need to tilt the device, sometimes click a button. Just pay attention to the animation on the screen.

As I've mentioned in the second segment, the point of this feature is to obtain cute Sumikko illustrations. There isn't anything more to it, but it's still nice.

Sometimes, you will randomly get a chance to draw a special price, usually a food item or another trap. Also, sometimes a wild Sumikko or Minikko appears and you can catch them for free.

5. Settings

Quite self-explanatory. Here you can set the date, time, your birthday, brightness, sound, use the secret passwords and reset the device.

The remarkable thing are the secret codes. They aren't numeric, like in Tamagotchi, but consist of a few shapes that you need to arrange in the correct order. It's hard to find them, especially since the device is quite unknown in western countries, but I found this website that has some:

Also, the Fuzzy N Chic review video on YT includes the code from a gift card that was attacked to some sets. Unfortunately, I didn't get one in mine.

6. Sumikko Market

Here you can buy food, toys, furniture and traps. You'll be here quite often - Tokage and Shirokuma eat a lot. The prices are fine, so don't worry too much about that even if you don't play games too often.

The toy and furniture offer is small, since most of it is obtained through Outing.

7. Game centre

As you can easily guess, here you can find gamest. None of them demands the covers, so they are pretty comfortable and quick. I will quickly go over them here. Each game has 2 modes - easy and hard. The "hard" mode isn't really that hard, but it gives you more Sumikko coins, so usually I go with it. Interesting thing - you can play the games even once the Sumikko are asleep, Good for insomniacs, I suppose.

Shirokuma's Apple Harvest: tilt the device left and right to catch all the apples. Avoid acorns - they hurt Shirokuma and slow it down

Penguin's? Long Distance Run: tilt the device to make Penguin? run and collect stars. Reach the finish line before the time runs out. Avoid the holes - they make you lose instantly

Neko's Sumikko Eats: tilt the device up and down to avoid the bushes and eat the foods. The cat food gives you more energy than onigiri

Tokage's Gem Collecting: my personal favourite. Tilt the device in different directions to control the fat lizard as it collects the gems in the water. Watch out for the jellyfish - they will hurt and slow you down!

Tonkatsu's Happy Dance: fried bits will come from left and right. Once they are in the circle, click left or right button to throw them off

Sumikko Roulette Fortune: click left or right button to stop the roulette. Various characters give you different points. This game is the easiest but gives very few Sumikko coins

8. Library

Here you can see all the pictures/items you've collected. Each has a short description. Not the most interesting if you don't read Japanese, but they are quite adorable.

9. Friend Mode

When you put on one of the covers, your device goes into the Friend mode. The face of the character is displayed on the screen and you can interact with them. This is necessary to keep them happy throughout the day - nothing will replace physical touch. Pet them, rock them to the sides and press on their hands. They love it, especially the petting.

Pro-tip: rocking won't work unless the Sumikko is already happy. Just pet them with gentle stroked on top of the device, giving them breaks to return to regular face. Once they start blushing after some petting, it means they are happy. Then you can rock them too.

In my experience, Shirokuma is more demanding in care than Tokage - they go hungry at the same time but Shirokuma gets upset faster.

10. Conclusion

Generally, I highly recommend getting Sumikko Friend. It's unique and amazing to play with. You just can't get enough of looking at it. You can get some decent offers on eBay (that's where I got mine.) The gameplay is very different from Tamagotchi, but it's a welcome fresh breeze. I absolutely love it and it made me want to take further look into the Sumikko franchise

🌸

[bambiraptorx]

I am curious, why is Draxum so protective and secretive over his mask and anyone seeing his face in your MI AU? is his mask like a safe object since he is written to be neurodivergent?

There's a couple of different reasons, and one of them definitely is that is a safety/comfort object for him. Backstory-wise, he's had it for centuries, making it one of the possessions he's held onto the longest. Given how much he used to travel, it might be the only one he's managed to hang onto. It was also probably a gift from someone he cared about, and likely the only thing he has to remind him of them.

Also, the sensory blocking spell he cast for Mikey in ch 17? Draxum uses that kind of spell himself, usually casting more than one and using his mask as a sort of focal point. (Also he can toggle the spells on and off, so it's kinda like constantly carrying noise-canceling headphones around for him? But for other senses too? I'm still fleshing out the mechanics lol)

But another reason for the mask? Well, he's masking, literally as well as figuratively. He's hiding his 'true' self (one that, as shown in season 2, is more expressive and outright emotional). He doesn't feel comfortable revealing his actual face or even having it acknowledged that he's hiding a pretty important part of himself, but also? He wears the mask so much that he thinks of it as his actual face. His self-perception is so rooted in hiding a part of himself that he no longer thinks of it as hidden--he doesn't think about it at all.

This is more or less why Leo hasn't seen Draxum's actual face yet, even though he's been waking Draxum up at ridiculous hours of the night for a while now. Draxum wakes up and puts the mask on like a pair of glasses, and once he has it on he essentially forgets he's wearing it. Yes, part of it is that on some level Draxum doesn't like or want the vulnerability of showing Leo his face, but he's so used to wearing it that it feels more like him than his real face does.

TLDR: it's a symbol of Draxum's neurodivergence, but also kind of a metaphor for him masking and maybe sort of about his internalized ableism? Which is complicated, but hey, that's how being ND is sometimes.

[mydarling-iv]

Hello! Here's a few things:

1. I love your work, but I think a couple might have gone missing? :(

2. Are you taking requests at the moment?

3. Regarding the above- I never thought I'd say something like this, but would you mind doing a BOTW Link x fem!reader song fic to Metallica's The Unforgiven II? I feel like it fits surprisingly well given the setting and circumstances 😔

hello love!

first, some readers may not be able to see my fics because i was and perhaps still am shadow-banned so some of my works require more effort to find.

i know that is the case for where the shooting star falls, meet me there and both installments of the goddesses, he wants you mini series. they’re hidden away because tumblr really had to shit on my parade LMAO.

but other factors can also affect whether my works makes it to you and one prominent one is making sure you’re able to see posts marked mature and you can toggle that on in your tumblr settings on a web browser.

otherwise, for my works, since i barely post, you can literally just scroll down my page till you hit my first work published, where the shooting star falls, meet me there, and just read from there. but you can also use my hashtag, #𝐢𝐯'𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.°♡༉‧₊ to filter my works from my letters!

i don’t have a masterlist as of now but it’s currently in the works, i’ve just been too busy with adjusting to working and college life lmao so hopefully, the masterlist and rules will be posted soon :0

second, i do not take requests. this blog is more of an outlet where i freely post any fics i started writing and such. though i do not take requests, you and other readers are freely able to drop a letter in the letter box, whether it be an idea, imagine, or basically anything you want to share with me, the letter box is completely open for you. there will be some instances where someone drops in a letter that may inspire me to write a full blown fic and if that is the case, the anon/user who sent in the idea/prompt will be properly credited :]

third, though it does pertain to the second question i answered, i just listened to the song you recommended and stars, the lyrics do speak to me because it does provide good angst material. though i do have to kindly deny your request, golden child, lion boy and its sister fic in the works, fearless child, broken boy do fit the lyrics of metallica’s the unforgiven ii so i hope that indirectly satisfies a bit of your request :)

thank you again for kindly asking whether i take requests or not, i really appreciate you talking to me before you actually requested. i’m also extremely thankful for your support as every like, comment, reblog, etc. does not go unnoticed by me! :] <3

with love,

iv.

[ufuckingpastry]

Laced Up in Gold

AO3 Link | Kink: Corset

Summary: Cellbit has a date with Roier later and he wants to look his best for his husband. He decides to wear a corset for the evening, but full-torso corsets are a bit difficult to get into by yourself. Thankfully, Forever has agreed to lend his help.

. . .

Cellbit breathed in slowly, one eye on his map as he watched Forever approach the gates. He saw Forever’s dot hesitate and he straightened as he realized; he toggled his location back on and Forever’s dot started moving again. He meant to do it earlier, but other things occupied his mind. He could feel them now, still warring in his head as they vied for his full attention. His gaze drifted over his shoulder and he turned to face one of those things now. The corset rested on an armor stand, its fabric pristine. The metal framing caught the fading light of the setting sun, glinting back at him. He was still considering it when Forever ducked in through the doorway.

“Hey-yaaa,” Forever called, catching Cellbit’s attention away from the corset like a flag caught in the wind.

He turned back towards the doorway, the armor stand hidden behind his back, the clink of armor audible as the other man pulled his off. Cellbit’s own armor was set aside; he didn’t have to worry about much within his own castle, and it would only get in the way. He greeted Forever back with a smile that was far too easy to pull up.

“You said you needed some help?” Forever asked, stopping a little ways from Cellbit.

“Yes,” he replied, glancing over his shoulder. His gaze shifted back to Forever, who’s own face now contorted into growing worry. Cellbit continued quickly, hoping to prevent Forever from jumping to the wrong conclusion. “I have a date with Roier tonight and I, uh…” His face heated in a moment of embarrassment. He heard a soft huff, and he breathed his own sigh of relief. At least that seemed to settle Forever’s sudden worry into the background. Good. “I wanted to surprise him,” he said and took a step to the side.

Forever’s gasp was far louder in his ears than it probably was, and the heat of his earlier embarrassment came back full force. 

Cellbit gestured to the corset. “Unfortunately, I think I’ll need some help getting laced up. And, well,” he huffed a laugh and lifted his gaze up to meet Forever’s. “I remember you being rather good with your hands.”

Forever’s face cracked into a wide grin, mischief written across it. “Yeah, I remember you really enjoying my hands on you,” he teased, then stepped up to the armor stand. “Are you planning on wearing anything else with this, or is this it?” He paused, his fingers trailing down the fabric. “I think we’ve still got those cat ears somewhere.”

“Absolutely not!” Cellbit glared at him as he burst into a fit of laughter. He narrowed his eyes at Forever, then went to unbutton his shirt. “Of course I’m wearing something else with it. I just figured this will take the longest time, so I should get it on first.”

“Uh-huh,” Forever replied, his gaze lingering as Cellbit undressed. “I don’t disagree with you. I’m sure this will take some time, but I don’t think you’re going to be able to bend over with this on. Besides,” he hummed, then tapped the edge of the corset. “Unless you’re going for something really kinky, you’ll want something under this.”

Cellbit’s face heated with the continued conversation, but Forever usually knew what he was talking about. He trusted his opinion and his suggestions. It was why they worked together so well, why they campaigned together for the elections. He sighed, then gestured with his hand for Forever to continue.

Instead, though, the man held up his hand, then dropped down a backpack. He knelt down to dig through it, pulling out some spare clothes. He’d consider one first, then either hand it Cellbit to hold or shove it back in. It took some extra time, but soon enough Cellbit’s arms were full of fabric. Forever jumped to his feet and clapped his hands together.

“Alright, let’s get you into something nice for Roier, huh?”

. . .

Nearly twenty minutes later and Cellbit was in an outfit that they both approved of. He picked at the puffy sleeves of his new shirt as Forever re-organized the clothing inside the backpack. It didn’t cling to his figure, but it definitely accentuated it. The fabric was nice as well; soft and smooth, keeping the heat against his body where it belonged without it feeling stifling. It was far better than what he had originally picked out. It was thin enough that wearing the corset over top of it was unlikely to pinch or otherwise be uncomfortable for an extended period of time. 

Speaking of the corset…

Cellbit traced the framing of it with his finger, reminded that he still had to put it on. At least Forever was still here to help him. He imagined what Roier would think, how surprised he’d be. He remembered Roier joking once about wanting to be able to touch his fingers around Cellbit’s waist.

Warmth around his waist reminded him of his guest. Arms slipped around his torso as Forever reached for him. Cellbit didn’t resist as Forever’s fingers ran over his shirt, the heat of the other man apparent through the thin fabric. “I will admit,” he said as he reached for Forever’s wrists to pause their exploration. “I think this outfit suits me far better than the one I planned on.”

“Good,” Forever replied, leaning in closer. “You still want those cat ears?”

“You still want a bloody nose?” Cellbit asked in return. Forever’s laugh ruffled his hair and then he stepped away to take the corset off the armor stand. Cellbit watched for a moment as he ran his fingers over the red and gold fabric, then turned to face his back towards Forever.

Even with the shirt against his skin, he felt his flesh heat as Forever’s gaze returned to him, lingering over the curve of his spine. He felt Forever step closer, old instincts making him almost turn to face him, to keep his back to a wall. But then Forever’s hand rested on his shoulder and Cellbit exhaled slowly. Heat radiated in through his shirt, warming his skin. Forever’s hand drifted down from his shoulder, fabric shifting in his hands as he handled the corset. 

Even with all his senses heightened and focused on the man at his back, Cellbit still startled when a hand appeared in his line of sight close to his stomach. He reflexively pulled his stomach in away from the hand, only to relax again when Forever’s breath warmed the back of his neck. The hand reached around his stomach and the corset now came into view.

It was split in two pieces, with clip buttons on the front and holes to lace up the back. The fabric was a deep shade of red with lengths of black along the sides, all accentuated with golden fabric. The clips were gold plated and polished until they shined.

“Arms,” Forever said from behind him. Cellbit’s gaze drifted up to the side of each piece. There were holes for the arms. Forever held up one piece as Cellbit gathered up his sleeve to keep it from catching and slid his arm through. He repeated the action with the next piece. Forever pulled both pieces until the fabric rested on his shoulders, then tapped Cellbit’s side. “I’ll get the laces if you clip these.”

Cellbit nodded, his voice caught in his throat. Steel stiffened the corset where it laid under the gold fabric, and he in turn stiffened as it settled on his shoulders. He focused his attention on the clips, silent as he completed his task. Once he was done, he breathed in slowly. On the exhale, Forever returned, and his hands were back on his shoulders. He smoothed out the fabric, his touch lingering as his hands slid down his sides to his hips. 

“Roier is a lucky man,” Forever commented, his voice quiet. Breathless, almost. Cellbit smiled. Yeah, he supposed he was. “Should I make it difficult for him to untie you?” There was a laugh in Forever’s voice, a teasing lilt as he moved away from Cellbit’s back.

“I think you’ll make it difficult no matter what I say,” he replied. Forever laughed again.

They fell into comfortable silence again for a time. Forever worked on getting the laces into the holes close to his lower back, then adjusting the lengths until they were even. And then, with a gentle tap on his side again, Forever started lacing him up. 

It was a slow process, one where Cellbit could tell most of Forever’s attention was on keeping the lengths even and keeping the fabric smooth against his body. He appreciated it, because it meant he could focus on other things. Like how every so often Forever would curse and redo a loop. Or how he would pull the lengths tighter and tighter until Cellbit’s breath hitched. The first time it happened, he didn’t say a word about it. The second time, he swore he could feel Forever’s smile, feel him grinning at his back. The third time made him swear and Forever immediately tightened the laces again. 

It was hard to breathe in deeply by the time he reached his shoulder blades. He could, but every time his lungs expanded to a certain point, he could feel the fabric itself resist the action. His breath hitched again and Forever’s hands pressed to his back. He waited for another yank, another squeeze against his ribs, the ever tightening fabric around his body until he was gasping for breath…

But instead, all he received was the feeling of Forever’s lips against the back of his neck. He felt him grin against his skin and then the heat against his back was gone. Forever stepped into view, leaning back on his heel as he took in his work. Cellbit couldn’t slump back, couldn’t shift much without feeling the fabric pull against the action. It felt good to be made to stand straight like this, to feel the restriction against taking a full breath. He lifted his hands to his sides and attempted to wrap his fingers around until they touched. Forever hummed, interested, and stepped forward. The warmth of his hands returned, covering Cellbit’s with his own, and he tried to touch his fingers around his waist.

“Hm, maybe soon,” he commented. “Unless you want me to undo the laces and see how tight you can go before you break?”

Cellbit’s gaze flicked up to Forever’s heated stare. He considered the look in his eyes, but soon took a step back. “Maybe another time, Forever,” he said, reaching for his belongings. “Tonight, that decision will be Roier’s to make.”

[allthingsfook]

I was curious if I could get a ship! I work as a nurse (I really love helping people when they are at their most vulnerable) and am 5’5” have brown eyes, auburn hair and pale skin (I cannot tan at all, I just burn 🤣). I love reading especially Jane Austen. I love Star Wars and I love going to live music shows! I’m most excited to see Hozier this fall! I have a black kitty named Gibson and love fall and winter oddly enough. I also just love spending genuine time with friends whether that be at a bar or at home or somewhere else! Thank you :)

Heyyyy! I’m so sorry I haven’t gotten around to your ships! I have an inbox full that I’m hoping to rock out in the next few days.

I ship you with….

Jake ❤️

To start off, the most attractive thing he’s ever said is if he wasn’t in the music industry, he’d want to work in healthcare…. As a nurse I find that extremely attractive as I’m sure you do as well 😂 I feel like Jake has such an unwavering love of people and distinguished care for others well being. It’s no shock he’d see himself in a healthcare role. Wonder what he would specifically do…. You should let me know what you think!!

Your physical description reminds me of a character from the Victorian era, and to which Jake would constantly reference when complimenting you. How timeless and pure you are. Whether you believe so or not, Jake would always be around to offer his praises.

Over and over again I’ll sing how much of a bookworm Jake is! I can envision Jake retreating to a dim-lit, moody library hidden in the depths of his gorgeous home. Between the two of you, the room would be packed from floor to ceiling with literature. He’d spend hours obsessing over everything from history to lore to autobiographies. Time would often get away from him, and he’d emerge hours later…. Feeling stimulated and refreshed to flip the crisp pages through his fingers. Psssst!!!! Don’t even think about Jake finally breaking down and getting glasses for reading…. 🤭 I’ll torture you and include a visual at the end!!!

All the boys are such nerds, so there is no doubt in my mind Jake would love to sit down and binge Star Wars when he comes home. I can see you setting up a whole experience to make it something Jake thinks about for months afterwards. You’d lower the lights but program the mood lighting to toggle between blue and red. You’d make a nest of pillows and blankets on the couch… don’t forget your Yoda, Chewbacca, and Darth Vader plushies. You’d lay a whole spread of snacks out on the coffee table, Star Wars themed of course! You might even throw your hair in braided buns for him 😉

Compared to Sam and Danny, Jake’s lack of affection toward puppies makes me think he might be a cat guy. He’d obsess over Gibson! Obviously! It would melt your heart to come home to Jake kicking back, strumming his beloved Gibson while Gibson is stretched out at his side! Wouldn’t take long for them to become best buds, and not gunna lie you might be a little jealous of their bond!!!

If Jake were a season, he’d easily either be fall or winter. His whole persona and attitude is so mystic and sometimes cold. Looking back on all the high school photos of him, Jake seems to enjoy winter especially. I’m sure he would love to go on a little winter get away and go skiing, snowboarding or even take you to Frankenmuth for the whole holiday experience!

To round out this ship, all the boys are so dedicated to their friends and family. They would do anything to make them feel special and cherish their relationships. I think Jake, most of all, has a huge soft spot for people close to him. Just judging that on all the matching bracelets and necklaces he shares with his loved ones. I live for all the old photos of him and josh being front row at Kelly’s gigs. Settling down with you and creating a little family, I think he would be more apt to going home to visit mom and dad and his grandparents. Through him you would gain some very special people in your life too.

Well I really hope you enjoyed your ship as you hate to wait an eternity for it! Please let me know what you think! I always love to hear your reactions. It means the world 💕

[90363462]

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News

NEWS

Denver Sean

Here Are All of the 2022 American Music Awards Winners

November 20, 2022 8:05 PM PST

The American Music Awards took place Sunday evening live from Los Angeles’ Microsoft Theater.

Check out the full list of winners below.

New artist of the year Dove Cameron — WINNER Gayle Latto Måneskin Steve Lacy

Collaboration of the year Carolina Gaitán, Mauro Castillo, Adassa, Rhenzy Feliz, Diane Guerrero, Stephanie Beatriz & Encanto Cast, “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” Elton John & Dua Lipa, “Cold Heart – PNAU Remix” — WINNER Future ft. Drake & Tems, “Wait For U” Lil Nas X ft. Jack Harlow, “Industry Baby” The Kid LAROI & Justin Bieber, “Stay”

Favorite touring artist Bad Bunny Coldplay — WINNER Ed Sheeran Elton John The Rolling Stones

Favorite music video Adele, “Easy on Me” Bad Bunny ft. Chencho Corleone, “Me Porto Bonito” Harry Styles, “As It Was” Lil Nas X ft. Jack Harlow, “Industry Baby” Taylor Swift, “All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)” — WINNER

Favorite male pop artist Bad Bunny Drake Ed Sheeran Harry Styles — WINNER The Weeknd

Favorite female pop artist Adele Beyoncé Doja Cat Lizzo Taylor Swift — WINNER

Favorite pop duo or group BTS — WINNER Coldplay Imagine Dragons Måneskin OneRepublic

Favorite pop album Adele, 30 Bad Bunny, Un Verano Sin Ti Beyoncé, Renaissance Harry Styles, Harry’s House Taylor Swift, Red (Taylor’s Version) — WINNER The Weeknd, Dawn FM

Favorite pop song Adele, “Easy on Me” Carolina Gaitán, Mauro Castillo, Adassa, Rhenzy Feliz, Diane Guerrero, Stephanie Beatriz & Encanto Cast, “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” Harry Styles, “As It Was” — WINNER Lizzo, “About Damn Time” The Kid LAROI & Justin Bieber, “Stay”

Favorite male country artist Chris Stapleton Cody Johnson Luke Combs Morgan Wallen — WINNER Walker Hayes

Favorite female country artist Carrie Underwood Lainey Wilson Maren Morris Miranda Lambert Taylor Swift — WINNER

Favorite country duo or group Dan + Shay — WINNER Lady A Old Dominion Parmalee Zac Brown Band

Favorite country album Carrie Underwood, Denim & Rhinestones Luke Combs, Growin’ Up Cody Johnson, Human: The Double Album Taylor Swift, Red (Taylor’s Version) — WINNER Walker Hayes, Country Stuff: The Album

Favorite country song Chris Stapleton, “You Should Probably Leave” Cody Johnson, “’Til You Can’t” Dustin Lynch ft. MacKenzie Porter, “Thinking ‘Bout You” Jordan Davis ft. Luke Bryan, “Buy Dirt” Morgan Wallen, “Wasted on You” — WINNER

Favorite male hip-hop artist Drake Future Kendrick Lamar — WINNER Lil Baby Lil Durk

Favorite female hip-hop artist Cardi B GloRilla Latto Megan Thee Stallion Nicki Minaj — WINNER

Favorite hip-hop album Future, I Never Liked You Gunna, DS4EVER Kendrick Lamar, Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers — WINNER Lil Durk, 7220 Polo G, Hall of Fame 2.0

Favorite hip-hop song Future ft. Drake & Tems, “Wait For U” — WINNER Jack Harlow, “First Class” Kodak Black, “Super Gremlin” Latto, “Big Energy” Lil Nas X ft. Jack Harlow, “Industry Baby”

Favorite male R&B artist Brent Faiyaz Chris Brown — WINNER Giv?on Lucky Daye The Weeknd

Favorite female R&B artist Beyoncé — WINNER Doja Cat Muni Long Summer Walker SZA

Favorite R&B album Beyoncé, Renaissance — WINNER Drake, Honestly, Nevermind Silk Sonic (Bruno Mars & Anderson .Paak), An Evening with Silk Sonic Summer Walker, Still Over It The Weeknd, Dawn FM

Favorite R&B song Beyoncé, “Break My Soul” — WINNER Muni Long, “Hrs And Hrs” Silk Sonic (Bruno Mars & Anderson .Paak), “Smokin Out The Window” SZA, “I Hate U” Wizkid ft. Tems, “Essence”

Favorite male Latin artist Bad Bunny — WINNER Farruko J Balvin Jhayco Rauw Alejandro

Favorite female Latin artist Anitta — WINNER Becky G Kali Uchis Karol G Rosalía

Favorite Latin duo or group Banda MS de Sergio Lizárraga Calibre 50 Eslabon Armado Grupo Firme Yahritza Y Su Esencia — WINNER

Favorite Latin album Bad Bunny, Un Verano Sin Ti — WINNER Farruko, La 167 J Balvin, Jose Rauw Alejandro, Vice Versa Rosalía, Motomami

Favorite Latin song Bad Bunny ft. Chencho Corleone, “Me Porto Bonito” Becky G x Karol G, “MAMIII” Karol G, “Provenza” Rauw Alejandro, “Todo de Ti” Sebastián Yatra, “Dos Oruguitas” — WINNER

Favorite rock artist Imagine Dragons Machine Gun Kelly — WINNER Måneskin Red Hot Chili Peppers The Lumineers

Favorite rock song Foo Fighters, “Love Dies Young” Imagine Dragons x JID, “Enemy” Kate Bush, “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” Måneskin, “Beggin’” — WINNER Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Black Summer”

Favorite rock album Coldplay, Music of the Spheres Ghost, Impera — WINNER Imagine Dragons, Mercury – Act 1 Machine Gun Kelly, mainstream sellout Red Hot Chili Peppers, Unlimited Love

Favorite inspirational artist Anne Wilson for King & Country — WINNER Katy Nichole Matthew West Phil Wickham

Favorite gospel artist CeCe Winans DOE E. Dewey Smith Maverick City Music Tamela Mann — WINNER

Favorite dance/electronic artist Diplo Marshmello — WINNER Swedish House Mafia The Chainsmokers Tiësto

Favorite soundtrack ELVIS — WINNER Encanto Sing 2 Stranger Things: Soundtrack from the Netflix Series, Season 4 Top Gun: Maverick

Favorite Afrobeats artist Burna Boy CKay Fireboy DML Tems Wizkid — WINNER

Favorite K-pop artist Blackpink BTS — WINNER Seventeen Tomorrow X Together Twice

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[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

What’s This? Natemare is EVOLVING!

Scaredy/SCARED-E

Yes, that name was inspired by both Pizzaria Simulator’s Lefty/LEFT-E and WALL-E. Don’t judge me.

His name is, obviously, a greater acronym: S.eek C.all A.nalyze R.estrain E.ncapsulate D.estabilize E.liminate  

He’s a defunct/abandoned animatronic. (I’ll be using Nate’s latest merch design  for his description, and it was very clearly inspired by Sister Location’s Funtime Animatronics)

The casing of his body has been carefully designed to make him look like he’s wearing clothes. I like to think that it’s similar to Phantom’s outfit: black slacks and a black vest, but with a blue shirt.

He’s also got a black bowtie instead of a necktie, but it’s actually a larger button attached to his neck and chest. Pressing it will cause a section on his throat to slide open, revealing his harmonization module. It contains a row of switches and dials that need to be toggled with in order for Scaredy’s voice to be properly in-tune.

He can speak with his own original voice, but has also been programmed to mimic/sync the voices of others.

He stands at a very intimidating 8’3. (According to the Sister Location blueprint easter eggs, Circus Baby is canonically 7’2)

There’s a tiny fog machine inside his mouth. It activates when he speaks/sings, and makes it look like smoke is pouring out between his teeth.

You know that hole in the middle of his face where his nose should be? There’s actually a small, well-hidden button in there. If you press it, his face plates will pop open (press it a second time to close them).

There’s a loudspeaker on his chest, beneath his bowtie. One of the systems inside his head is a database for songs and music, which can be updated and shuffled.

Each of his fingers has a retractable, built-in guitar pick. (Keep in mind, however, that he can only play a guitar if it’s been specifically built to connect with his systems.)

His sensors can be activated by sound, light, and movement/proximity.

The interior of his torso is a large, hollow storage tank (which might not be quite so empty). It can be accessed via pressing the red button on his right cheek, which will cause a hatch on his stomach to slide open. 

Metal framing inside him holds back his gears, prongs, and other sharp mechanical parts. But if you press the red button on his left cheek, the framing will disengage, his endoskeleton parts will recoil inward and. . .well, the process wouldn’t be pretty. In fact, it’d be agonizing.

He used to be the star attraction of a recently closed-down haunted house (more on that in the near future). He was programmed to perform twisted, threatening songs that would be played all across the building. His music was basically treated as a soundtrack for visitors to listen to. 

He would also pause his songs to taunt visitors as they passed through his section (jumping at someone who got too close to him, making morbid jokes/puns, etc.)

He was typically kept onstage in a room at the center of the building. But on certain occasions, he’d be allowed to wander around the halls and look for visitors to. . .surprise, let’s say. . .

He’ll be featured in my last Goretober story 😈

[manonamora-if]

Hi! Is there a way to display a notification like "New!" when the player unlocks something (like in a codex) and then for it to disappear after they click on it? I thought of messing around with hasVisited but not sure if it would work well

I am not sure whether you mean notifications like popping on the screen and disappear, or next to a link until that next page is visited. So I'll include all I know :P

As always, the code below can be found in my PasteBin.

TLDR: similar principle to notify for Achievements, but more options.

Note: if the return to the story is done by using the <<back>> macro or the <- arrow in the sidebar, the story will retrace its steps and undo the previous actions (as if the player never visited those passage).

Notifications on the Story Page

First part: the notifications you'd get on the main page to notify you of codex changes. There are essentially 3 ways of doing this: Chapel's macro, Sjoerd's macro, and just some text on the page. I will touch upon those options, then how to code it to only appear once.

Chapel's Notify Macro (Timed)

I've touched upon this macro in this coding ask, as well as having a setting to toggle them on/off for player to display or not during their playthrough.

Note: Chapel's macro is not the best for text readers, since it lingers hidden on the HTML code after being triggered once.

Sjoerd's Flash Macro (Timed)

Built with ARIA features in mind, and work better with screen readers, Sjoerd Flash macro works similarly to Chapel's, with extra features: clickable removal, different themes, different location to appear, etc... (you can find the full lists of arguments on the github page)

The base code use is as follow:

<<flash "You found Maxine!">> <</flash>>

Plain Text on the Page

That's pretty much it, the title says it all.

Now if you want to make it more fancy, you can always wrap the text in a span/div, defined a class, and customise its appearance in CSS (stylesheet).

< div class = "notification" > This would be a notification. < / div >

Only display the notification once

If the player goes back to a passage more than once, but you don't want them to be notified after the first time, you can use either a simple variable, something like the Flag Event, or the visited() function in a conditional statement.

<<if $var is true>>[code of the notification of choice]<</if> can also work with : <<if $var>>, <<if def $var>>, <<if $var is (whatever you defined it as)>>

Note: the Flag Event works in a similar fashion too.

<<if visited("Name of the current passage") is 1>>[Code of the notification of choice]<</if>>

visited() counts the number of time a passage has appeared in the player history. When the passage is first shown, visited() will equal to 1. Increase that number in the conditional statement, and the notification will only appear when the player has seen that passage X times.

Note: the hasVisited() function will not work in this case, it will show the text every time. This function only checks if the passage is in your history, no matter the amount of times you've seen that passage.

Notification next to a link towards an unvisited passage

This part will be very similar to the one just above, but with hasVisited() added to the mix.

What you'd essentially want is having an extra bit of text (or emoji, or whatever you want) next to your link to show that this page is new to the player and unread. While there are different ways of doing at it, the basic logic goes as follow:

[[link|to Passage]]<<if condition>>NEW~<</if>>

Options to code the Conditional Statement

VARIABLES

You can use a simple variable that was set in the story page, which will be unset when the player visits the page.

:: Story <<set $var to true>> :: Codex [[link|Page]]<<if $var>>NEW~<</if>> :: Page <<unset $var>>

But, you might ask, what if the player returns to the story and the variable reset itself as true? Two options:

<<if visited("Story") is 1>><<set $var to true>><</if>> or [[link|Page]]<<if $var && (not hasVisited("Page"))>>NEW~<</if>>

The first one will only set the variable when the player visits the codex for the first time, while the second show the notification only if the Codex page hasn't been visited.

An alternative with setting the variable:

:: Story <<if visited("Story") is 1>><<set $var to "unread">><</if>> :: Codex [[link|Page]]<<if $var is "unread">>NEW~<</if>> :: Page <<set $var to "read">> OR <<unset $var>>

This same principle works if you use an object or an array or the Flag Event.

PREVIOUSLY HIDDEN LINK

Now, what if the link you are displaying was hidden before the player reached a certain part of the story. You could just use the hasVisited() function.

<<if condition for showing the link>> [[link|Page]]<<if not hasVisited("Page")>>NEW~<</if>> <<else>>Not available<</if>>

SHOW A PAGE HAS BEEN UPDATED

What if you want to have a notification every time that page has been updated, and show a different word depending on whether the page first appeared or has been updated or is complete, that's possible too!

We'll take the alternative example from just above.

:: Story 1 <<if visited("Story 1") is 1>><<set $var to "new">><</if>> :: Codex [[link|Page]]\ <<if $var is "new">>NEW~\ <<elseif $var is "update">>UPDATED~\ <<elseif $var is "complete">>COMPLETED~\ <</if>> :: Page &lt;<set $var to "read">> OR <<unset $var>> :: Story 2 <<if visited("Story 2") is 1>><<set $var to "update">><</if>> :: Story 3 <<if visited("Story 3") is 1>><<set $var to "complete">><</if>>

If you have multiple links that will use this system, I'd advise you to use object variables instead of simple variables (to avoid overloading the save system and make the game slow).

:: StoryInit <<set $link to {}>> :: Story 1 <<if visited("Story 1") is 1>><<set $link.fish to "new">><</if>> :: Codex [[link|Page]]<<if $link.fish is "new">>NEW~<</if>>

MAKE IT A WIDGET BECAUSE THIS IS A LOT OF CODE

The more you have links, or the more complicated the code you are using, the harder it is to read through a passage. To make it easier/cleaner, let's use a widget instead.

<<widget "notiflink">> <- just one link/variable <<if $var is "unread">>NEW~<</if>> <</widget>>

Note: instead of $var is "unread" you can put any other conditions, as shown in the examples above.

<<widget "notiflink">> <- multiple links/variables <<if _args[0] is "unread">>NEW~<</if>> <</widget>> <<widget "notiflink">> <- more than one state <<if _args[0] is "new">>NEW~ <<elseif _args[0] is "update">>UPDATED~ <<elseif _args[0] is "complete">>COMPLETED~ <</if>> <</widget>>

And to display it:

[[link|Page]] <<notiflink>> <- one link [[link|Page]] <<notiflink $var>> <- multiple

Bonus: HiEv's Menu

And then there's HiEv's Menu of his Sample Code Page:

In this Sample Code Menu, HiEv uses a widget and further JavaScript functions to check when a page has been visited. You won't find it on one of his page, as this code was made especially for his menu. But if you download it and open it on Twine/Tweego, it's not too hard to get.

Side note: I've tried to go through it. While it makes sense, it is also super overwhelming and daunting to actually implement. I am sure it is possible to implement to a Codex, but you'd need to customise a lot of things. Not sure if it would be worth the troubles.

~~~

Hope that helps!

[phantom-witch]

Phantom's Finished: Metroid Dread (Replay)

This was an extremely interesting replaythrough! As I've been meaning to replay this and even want to revisit this later in the year...

That being said, this game is a lot weaker to me now for multiple reasons. I still think this game is really good! Just... Not great or fantastic as I felt on launch. Why is this? I wanna get into this by going over each element of the game (spoilers in the last section)

Before I go into each section, I want to emphasise I do enjoy a lot of this game! It's just as someone who enjoys super explorative freeing MetroidVania, I don't click as much with this anymore?

TLDR: I dislike how secretly guiding this games level design is but adore the combat

Combat & Controls:

This is easily my favourite element of Metroid Dread! It's not perfect as sometimes I find standard enemies get repetitive where the obvious counter kill to all of them. Which does good for pacing but not as good for having fun fights outside of boss fights.

The counter is a blessing and a curse as I feel it shouldn't instantly one shot and the telegraph shouldn't be as obvious sometimes as I feel like as soon as you found them it's nothing to deal with them! I wouldn't mind if some were like this but once you know ALL of the standard enemies are non-existent. And maybe the point is you learn to be able to accomplish them being nothing? Well I'd still like to feel I earned that and I don't honestly.

But that's the one negative I have and I would rather focus more on what I do like. These are some of my favourite Boss Fights in any video game as the encounters test your strength so amazingly without being unfair and this was no exception on this replay! I hope to replay in Hard Mode later on. The way you have to move around the enemy and can still shoot due to how tight the movement and aiming is results in not having to wait and hit (which a lot of games especially in the 16-bit era fall into). It is wonderful fighting encounters with mini bosses and bosses the like! I would only say one boss kinda stinks due to being underwater. The Final Boss especially really tests you so well and is one of my favourite final bosses in a game.

Visuals & Character Design:

This is easily the best part of this game. The lighting, colours and atmosphere absolutely sell this game for me. Everything knows when to look a certain way: the chill darkness of Burenia, the glowing orange tint of Cataris to the royal garbs of Ferenia. Especially how lighting reflects off Samus Aran's armour throughout the journey.

The only thing I would say for criticism is that the environments can sometimes share too much darker colours compared to previous Metroid games for me. I wish there was a tiny bit more distinction as it would have made this game's separate areas stand alongside other iconic areas in Metroid. However, I still really enjoy how distinct every room is so it isn't hard to memorise layouts compared to how other games and even Metroid games can. It's good for backtracking!

Another part of the visuals is character design! Samus has my favourite design at the start of this game and I wish you could toggle how you look in this game easier. The E.M.M.I are iconic and are even animated to their designs pitch perfectly, still reminding me the chills I once had. The main villain has an amazing design with subtle story hints hidden in them perfectly. I would love to one day play this on an OLED but I can't currently.

Exploration & Level Design:

Now, here comes the most negative part I have about this game. To begin I'll be positive by saying that as said in the controls section that moving through these environments are a thrill! I very much enjoy using my tools to go through the world of ZDR, especially involving platforming...

But then there lies the issue, what I love about the genre of MetroidVania is the different branching pathways you can go to find different abilities in different orders. This game really does not encourage this. It actively tries to guide you through a linear experience through the level design and you have to do super tricky things to break out of that path. I don't like having to go against the game to DO THIS! Sequence Breaking is fun but not when I have to do it to have a unique experience for a game trying to give me the same experience each time.

The level design is not made to split and allow for freedom of how you go about things, which bothers me as I play this genre mainly for a unique personalised experience. Game Maker's Toolkit goes really well into this too. I try so hard not to compare, but I can't help thinking how much I'd prefer to replay Hollow Knight over this! Because that game stops hand holding you after the first area and you can do so much in so many orders and the level design is beautifully made to work with this. I don't need full freedom but I want a degree of choice in the order I do things without going against the games design, even if it is limited at certain points! But Metroid Dread is limited so heavily the entire game that replaying is extremely hard for me now. If they didn't want people getting lost, then design the game better!! Don't actively prevent my exploration by guiding me to the next objective...

Everything else:

Not much else to say, but the audio design is very good! Music on the other hand is extremely weak as I don't remember anything that isn't from a previous games' motif. Story is super minimalistic and is enjoyable! However I do wish there was a more, a lot more in terms of world building about ZDR as I didn't feel I could pick up on anything not already told to me. The show don't tell phrase I wish applied here. However, I absolutely adored the animation in both cutscenes and whenever I hit a boss' weak point as that was all on point for me! I appreciate the difficulty options and boss rush they added but I wish we got a little paid DLC story afterwards as this game needed more story!

Conclusion:

As I conclude this review, I am extremely conflicted. I so appreciate this game existing, how different this game is atmospherically for Nintendo. But now I have things like Xenoblade 3 & Splatoon 3 which cover deep atmospheres still a lot more I find myself not needing this game as a constant. I super appreciate this miracle happening and still enjoy some specific stuff about this game! However, now I find myself not feeling the passion I did at launch and can't pretend I do. I just feel so conflicted as I think this game is fun but gosh is it not what I'm after anymore and that's okay. Tastes change and I've grown a lot over the last year and a bit since Metroid Dread originally came out. Raven Beak still rules though!! 💙

[rollie-rolerson]

What I'm going to work on for Dawn

November 6th, 2023 - started writing at 12:47 AM

*text marked with an asterisk indicates an update as of November 19th as I had this draft for some time)

(going to start logging more stuff, kind of practicing writing the dates even if it does that for me already :P)

Some unnecessarily lengthy and probably pointless context, you can just skip to the blue header

I worked on a LOT of my personified spacecraft. They just aren't here because I've been doing this since mid 2021, so they're on my DeviantArt account.

(I have a lot of fun posing. Not so much fun rendering for eons hehe)

But, it's almost 2024! And with the experience I gained since I started on the first ones (Perseverance/Curiosity; they used the same model) and a few other non-spacecraft, why not do it all again?

Honestly, really from scratch. Not only would it be difficult to add onto, change, or reuse previous content, but I also want to preserve the original files as they were + I work using procedural and manual rigging with Cloudrig now.

(There is an exception where I may use Perseverance/Curiosity (just the mesh parts). I updated them in 2022, and they also still share the same model. I archived their older models.)

I have practiced Cloudrig with Scorpius, who I finished not too long before I started working on Dawn.

Continuing on that, I decided to settle on a new land and began chipping away at Dawn. This time I've got a lot more considerations to keep in mind and I'm taking all the time I have.

In fact, she's not actually finished by the time of writing, hehe aren't I a little procrastinator /lh

so, what next?

WELL I'M GLAD YOU DIDNT ASK :D /j

1. Extra facial options for conveying expressions

The older rigs have options for stuff like creases and a sort of "tint". I call it a tint, but it is really just blushing. An important thing is that it functions as a color-changing mood indicator for intense emotions

Dawn, for example, would blush (or tint) yellow in a very happy state, or from platonic feelings

Then there's blue for an intense state of sadness

A new thing I could is stuff like. Agh I don't know what theyre called but yknow how angry characters may have those red lines to represent a vein, or scared/shocked characters have those pale blue/white lines around their heads???? whatever thats called, yeah I might do that lol

2. Closing/opening the eyes

A LOT of the eyes are done within procedural texturing. Her eyelids are not actually masked by any mesh. I currently have a few bones to close the eyes but they kind of crowd the layout and I don't really see a point in using them.

The eyelids are a texture via math nodes, and it is just a parabola. However, I am unable to get a more stylized curve without making things more complex

Before I reuse the rig itself in any way, I want to update the eyes so i can have a slider to toggle a hidden curve that I can use for the closed eyelids.

*UPDATE: THIS HAS BEEN ADDED

3. Possibly making the mouth more versatile.

This is something I am not sure is possible with my knowledge or just really in general? it probably could be but I may have to add in a lot more nodes and stuff.

The mouth is also done through procedural texturing. There are no actual image files used and all the shapes are solely from math nodes.

So my main problem is "curving" teeth so if I have a more curved mouth the teeth can kind of follow along, and it will look better. i may have to play around and experiment with vector stuff

4. making a pose library

As an animator myself, a pose library to add basic expressions and, more importantly, lip sync, is TOTALLLYYYYYYY NEEEDEEEEDDDD I mean I think you can apply poses mid-animation? I have soggy memory

5. Overall, making sure I can reuse the rig

Unlike the new rigs, reusing a rig and adapting it to a new character was a big pain in the antenna dish. With procedural rigging its much easier because the constraints will be aligned with what i tweak in the meta rig.

Because of that, i have to make sure that Dawn's rig is something that will not require too much tweaking when I get to reuse her rig for others. I'm working on Psyche, and by the time i can rig her, Dawn's rig should be good to go.

So again, making sure i have all of the above ready for reusing YEAAAH

November 19th, 2023 - finished writing/posted at 10:33 PM

[bluetoothspeaker0120]

How do I connect my Zebronics (Best Bluetooth Speakers) to my computer?

First, turn on Bluetooth on your computer. Go to your start menu and search for settings. Then click on the Devices submenu and check Bluetooth. In the Bluetooth submenu, you'll see a slider that you can use to enable Bluetooth. Select your speaker from this list and click OK. You should now see an audio device called Zebronics Best Bluetooth Speakers in your list.

If you want to change the volume on your speakers, go to your Control Panel and right-click the volume icon. Choose Playback devices. You can click on the empty area and check for Hidden devices. After you've selected your device, click Configure and click on the Playback tab. You'll find a window with options to customize the volume level on the speakers. When you've made these changes, you should be able to hear the music through your speakers.

To plug in your speakers, you should use the speaker sockets on your computer tower. You'll find them by color coding. The green jack should go into the green socket, while the blackjack should be plugged into the black socket. Once the speakers are plugged in, you can turn on your computer. A small tune will play on your computer when you boot up.

To pair your speaker to your computer, you must ensure that your computer is Bluetooth-compatible. Most modern computers are, so make sure you select "Bluetooth" on your computer's system preferences. After you have completed this step, you can pair the speaker to your computer. When your speaker is paired to your computer, you can play music from your PC using it. If the speaker is not Bluetooth-compatible, you'll need to make sure that the device is disconnected from other devices.

The Bluetooth connection is easy to set up. Turn your speakers on and select "pairing mode." The speaker will then appear in your system's Bluetooth settings and be connected. Once the pair is complete, the speakers will automatically route audio from Windows 10 to your computer. To test the connection, your speakers must be near your computer. If you are using a Wi-Fi router, this could interfere with the connection.

Once the pairing process is complete, you should now be able to connect to your Zebronics speakers with Bluetooth. In Android, you need to toggle the Bluetooth switch on and enter the pairing code. Then, connect your device to your PC using a USB cable. Make sure to enable public and private Wi-Fi network settings on your PC. Afterward, install the server software. To set up the server, follow the on-screen instructions. Your speakers will be connected within a few minutes.

Once you've got the soundbar connected, the next step is to plug in your computer. In most cases, this requires a 3.5mm jack. You can use the speaker in FM mode as well. Just press the Play/Pause button once to scan for available FM channels. You should now be able to play music from your Zebronics speakers on your computer.

You should check the charging circuit of your speaker as well. If the battery has a loose connection, it will restrict the charging process. If you've used it for a couple of years, chances are the battery is too old. If the speaker battery is older than five years, it probably has reached its maximum charge cycle. To test the battery's capacity, try pressing "FN" + PUT" or "DEL" simultaneously. If you still can't connect your speakers, the speaker will work with an external power source.

When connecting your speakers to your computer, the speaker's right channel speaker will be the main one. The back of the right channel speaker usually has two wires: one of them connects to the left speaker and the other has a 3.5mm mini plug. Then, you'll connect the power cord of your speakers to a wall outlet or surge protector. Your computer's audio line-level output is usually lime green.

[tofufactorynightschool]

安居乐业; Getting Settled

I'm finally here!

But freeze frame, and rewind about 24 hours, getting on my first flight, to San Francisco, at 6AM. During the layover, I met about 5 people from the program, who were all super friendly (and who might all be way better than me at Chinese...so probably won't be seeing much of them in class at least). And I realized that my place, with just under a 20 minute walk to campus, was one of the closer options. It's in the Da'an district (hence the name of this post).

Then came the 13, maybe 14 hour flight. Agony. At one point my legs got so stiff I thought something was medically wrong with them.

During the combined flights, I finished four films (as well as quite a few episodes of a sappy J-Drama). Brief reviews are as below:

Funny Girl (1968) - What it says on the tin: Barbra sure is a funny girl! (And what a voice.) I was surprised by the complexity of the second half, and of the ending -- her performance of "My Man" was gorgeous, and am I totally missing the point or stating the obvious to say that I enjoyed how the "man" in the song could be either Mr. Arnstein or the stage?

Hidden Letters (2022) - I started this documentary with my family but we didn't finish. The subject-- 女书, a script created by and for women in Hunan--is fascinating but I wish that the documentary had focused a little more (or at all) on its actual history, or the specifics of the writing system. The ending song was really nice; I'll have to look for it some time.

Kamikaze Girls (2004) - The sleeper hit and the star of the show; it actually rocked. Hyper-stylization done right! The main characters were very femme/butch. A good line: "It's not wrong to feel good; that's what Rococo taught me."

Death Becomes Her (1992) - Following with the campy theme; great makeup, kooky effects. Yes, it's not revolutionizing gender roles; yes, the social commentary is sledgehammer-subtle; and yes, it's pitting women against each other -- but it's so fun! (Said with a mildly facetious tone

The meals were pretty decent: 1) dinner (butter chicken on a bed of rice with a roll and butter, some kind of grain-vinegar salad, and a chocolate pretzel crumb cake from Milk), 2) "light snack" (small turkey sandwich roll), and 3) breakfast (scrambled eggs with potato hash and chicken sausage, a packaged croissant and butter, and fruit). Nothing was gastronomically spectacular, but I wasn't let down, either.

Still, it's hard to conceive of how long being on the plane for 14+ hours is, and how much it sucks; it's been a long time since I was on a flight that long. I was in the same row as someone else in the program, but a middle-aged man was in the seat between us. I slept a bit, but atrociously. At one point I got so bored (even with all the movies available), I pulled up the digital map on the plane screen and just toggled around Taiwan, studying the cities. I even took out some paper and drew Taiwan and the 11 cities it showed. I still remember them, working counter clockwise from the top: Keelung, Taipei, Taoyuan, Hsinchu, Taichung, Nantou, Tainan, Kaohsiung, Taitung, Hualian, & Yilan. Round and around, up and down, side to side I went, pinching at the map.

When we landed, though, I found that someone had sent a video of the apartment to our LINE groupchat--and it looked amazing! The wait to get the keys and everything was a little long, but I met one of my housemates there, Lillian, and we took the taxi over together; she seems super sweet (should I refer to people by name? or is that too revealing? Maybe I'll edit these posts later.) The whole time we talked about how excited we were for the summer. When we arrived, the apartment was just as good as it had looked (also very close to some cute shops, cafes, and a 7/11), and we met another housemate who had been locked out: Fin.

Fin might be one of the coolest girls I've ever met. We first saw her sitting perched on her moped, wearing a white mesh longsleeve under a lime green gingham tank top with a paneled denim skirt, about knee length. She offered us mangos and pudding, and then to play a song for us on her robin's-egg-blue electric guitar, which we eagerly accepted. She strummed and sang Lana Del Rey's "Happiness is a butterfly;" she has a beautiful voice, smooth and light. Lillian and I sang along a little but mainly enjoyed. Then Fin shared some cool Taiwanese indie music that she liked with us; she offered to take us to a concert some time (which I will happily take her up on). Another housemate, Amber, came in; Amber studies, performs, and choreographs contemporary circus (thus also putting her in the running for one of the coolest girls I've ever met). Amber joined in the concert talk and mentioned a free outdoor show happening next week! I hope we can all go. Fin and I talked about Mitski and she played one of her songs on guitar. It was a lovely, shimmering kind of introduction to the whole place.

There are quite a few more housemates but more on the morrow, because I have to get up bright and early for orientation! I'm settled in my room, which is in the 'basement' (very spacious--so far I like it). Already I can tell my Chinese is in a dire state. Hopefully I'm ready; I guess it's (almost) time to find out. More later!

安居乐业 (ān jū lè yè) - to live and work in peace

[vraska-theunseen]

i'm so addicted to dominion online. and i'm not even really that good at it i can't beat like level 37. i think im getting too autistic about it though and not even in the way you'd think with strategy guides (i don't read those that's why i'm bad at game) i started looking up articles about in game etiquette to make sure i'm not missing any hidden rules that make me seem rude bc i was playing with someone who complimented my username (it's coolqueer) and we were having some casual back and forth in the chat (by which i mean i would do a terrible misplay and then i'd be like 'oh drat just made a terrible misplay i totally misread that lol' and they'd be like 'well it would've been fun if it worked') and then i had to go but right before i left it occurred to me to click befriend next to their name (in dominion online u can befriend someone and they show up in ur friends list and if it's an unrequited toggle it's a half heart but if u both click it it's a full heart) and it showed up a full heart and i was like oh fuck i've struck up similarly casual game related conversations in the past did all those people think i'm rude bc i didn't befriend them. but i think i'm just crazy my only other friends on dominion.games are my irl friends who i play with over the phone or during lunch. anyway the only dominion stranger i regret not befriending was this one guy who i matched with at like 3am and we played a few games then i resigned and clicked auto match again and it was them and i was like hm haha and then the same thing happened and i said in the chat "LMAO we are the only people on this website". and THEN it happened a third time and that time they said "lmao okay one more time" and then after that game i said "gg 🫡" and signed off to go to sleep so who knows what happened to them