#it's a side effect

[microcosmiclymbic]

I don't even know what to say or how to recap

Officially broke up with 🍄

Though I forgot to reiterate that I need physical intimacy to happen on my timeline

I told him about how he raped me. Id almost forgotten about it. And I guess everything clicked for him. Cause he didn't try and deny it at all. He immediately accepted it and was like "oh fuck"

And apparently that made everything make sense. That otherwise all my actions have been me overreacting or "didn't make sense" but honestly who the fuck cares why I need boundaries or am unstable. That "i won't bother you about your sign anymore" (on my door that says "Text or Discord"). Like what???? My sign still deserved respecting no matter what!

We've both been feeling gaslist. And walking on eggshells which is hilarious. But I finally can really see his perspective more clearly. And yeah it makes sense. I'm fucking crazy as hell and it takes a specific kind of person to navigate that unscathed(namely one that's done some of their own trauma work lolol).

Towards the end we talked about me being unsafe a lot. What that means. Why that's really hard on him to live with. Why it's unfair on me to have to life somewhere I feel unsafe. He felt really uncomfortable with there being "text proof" of my unsafety on discord in a message he sent me. Apparently people have suggested to him that if something happened to me it would obviously be him and I'd have a better legal case against him. And I'm just like lololol. At least he has the decency to know it was highly unlikely I'd do anything.

And then I told him I wanted the relationship to end. And went on to say I wanted to still talk about what we both wanted out of a relationship and better consent/commit to what we were getting into. Because there was expectations on the relationship that I didn't realize were there and putting pressure on me. And I think his brain switched off for a moment after I said breakup cause he didn't respond to anything but that after a moment.

With telling me I should move out. Part of the unsafety convo about was here too. Because he felt i needed to go somewhere I was safer. And he wouldn't charge me rent. And he wouldn't buy weed for me anymore. Or make/share meals anymore. Or generally help me out beyond to help me physically move. And just....oooooooof. Asserted that it was primarily because I felt unsafe that he would ask me to leave. Even tho it literally wasn't until I broke up. Because apparently "well if you were still in the relationship then clearly you felt safe enough and you're just deescalating which means you're saying I'm an unsafe person and-"

I almost broke down. Quickly texted 💪 about it. But as I was doing that also like going wtf??? You literally promised that even if we broke up you wouldn't do that??? Like this is literally the safest place I have where am I gonna go? Back to eli??? Fuck it I'll be out in 3 days. And then he started backpeddling and being like "well you don't have to go immediately, just soon." Almost 2hrs into checkin at this point.

-edit-

We talked a bunch more after that. It's hard to hold it all. At the end of the convo we both felt better about it all. Ended with this Self Love game he got, that took an hour of the time itself. It was good tho.

-edit-

Anyways. Then we took a little bit of time away from each other. Then smoked and watched E&K together. Affirming the hope that we both felt.

I am so very tired. But we got there. I can't believe i actually navigated this situation so well to get us here. Oh gods the labor. Gods I am so tired. But we did it. This place might get safe again.

Though. I'm still moving out

We are the perfect unhealthy mix and I dont have the capacity for living like this. The good times are not worth the bad

I need so much recovery

[hinamie]

ṇ̵̛̱͌̅̃͛̔o̴̮̓̀͂́̃_̴̛̲́s̷͈̋̈́̄̋͠ị̶͔̗̐͐̐̒̕g̵̛̱̘̣̑͂ņ̴̰͔̘͇̏̒̓̇͠͝a̸̜̥̩̭͋̌ḷ̶͔̖͗͋͛͛̃͆

[artsarasp]

@aceofdivinechlorophyll You know I would die for Meng Mo????? I would! Everyone go read Inappropriate Use!!!

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

After Jason’s resurrection he finds that his body works… wrong somehow.

Some days he forgets to breathe until he wants to say something and finds there’s no air in lungs. Other days his body goes eerily cold until someone points out that his lips are blue and he needs to warm up.

And some days his heart stops beating in his sleeps.

It’s fine, really. It always starts again eventually a short while after he wakes up. And yeah, of course it was a bit scary the first couple times it happened but it’s not like his resurrection and Pit-dip came with an instruction manual, so this is probably pretty normal stuff, all things considered. He is kind of the definition of “undead”.

The real trouble starts when he forgets to mention those little details to the Batfamily when he stays over for the night.

[sealsdaily]

Today's Seal Is: Nvidia GPU

[0xycod0ne]

neil josten,, my muse,, my favourite blood soaked pathetic cat

[the-muppet-joker]

You type very well for having your eyes closed

I usually do not type my posts, I just think them and they appear on Tumblr. I have a psychic connection to this place, and you would have to kill me in every dimension to stop me from posting

[deeva-arud]

Comfort after a shattered dream

...or at least that's what I imagined💀​ After seeing the story update, I think she'd opt for a more subtle action ↓

she's not letting go of his hand

[hell0jon]

“First one to leave has to read the next statement”

It’s been 48 hours

[notebooks-and-laptops]

God I love Wrex. He's genuinely so insightful. Whenever I took him with me he's nearly ALWAYS the one who knew before it was obvious that we were heading into an ambush or that something wasn't quite right. When we met Vigil Wrex was the one who said as we headed down that he didn't think what was happening was Sarens doing. He says he knew Saren wasn't a good guy when he met him prior to the events of the game and he met him once for a few minutes. He speaks about only being good for fighting; but he was genuinely trying to do something about the genophage before he had to leave his planet AND he still DEEPLY cares about trying to fix it now even if he tells you it's a lost cause because krogans are too focused on other things. He claims his species is best at war and not things like science but he's just!! So clever and he clearly KNOWS on some level that a lot of what the Krogan experience is is based on their subjection/treatment in the galaxy. He enjoys jobs where his opponent is smart and good at what they do; and he is smart enough to be crafty and manipulate individuals such as when he got an employer to pay him to be a guard even AFTER he failed to kill the guy he was sent after. He is grumpy, but he cares about Shepard and he cares about stopping Saren. He's cynical and not sure that things can change for the better but he's also got this little nugget of hope in him that comes out so strongly at times. I love him. Best alien. Smart little guy. Best friend.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)

im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in

[pangur-and-grim]

it is kinda spooky to know that my pain isn't in my head, if that makes sense? like after my MRI my rheumatologist said "yeah, your hips and spine are being corroded by your immune system," so now when I wake up and have trouble walking it's like......hm......the corrosion.....

[ithinkdogshouldvote]

2015 minecraft roleplay save me…

[artsarasp]

"Inappropriate Use May Result in Strange Side Effects" by @aceofdivinechlorophyll It's hysterical. After the last chapter, I can only assume Meng Mo has been building up a conspiracy board with all the weird info he's gathered about SQQ.

[knightienight]