#it's a self-love decision and i have to see through it

[selfdesructivedisaster]

YASSS. So I don’t agree with all your points but I’m so happy to be having these complex moral discussions about my favourite musical!!!

To preface, I think you’re 100% right about Glinda obviously being the more selfish one of the two. To imply otherwise was dumb on my part lol.

To start at your first point, i don’t think having more justifiable motivations makes someone more or less selfish. Yes Elphaba only wants to be normal so people can stop judging her based solely on her appearance, but if anything id say this is a more selfish motivation than just wanting social status and fame. We often confuse selfishness as a bad thing, but when you’ve been ostracised and hated your whole life like Elphaba has of course you’d be mainly concerned with changing that. Her motivations in act one as a character are entirely for personal gain, to be see as normal. As to where Glinda who only wants status and love just because she likes it (my superficial queen) . it isn’t as intrinsic to her character as being accepted is to Elphaba’s character. Like, if you took away their selfish attributes: Glinda would definitely be changed, but Elphaba would just be an entirely different character!

To your second point I do think you’re partially right! Elphaba doesn’t want Glinda to ruin her life just because, she just wants her to fight against the injustices relating to animals! And the social isolation and hatred that would follow is just a byproduct of doing that! But here’s where Elphaba’s selfish tendencies shine the strongest in my opinion. Elphaba is so morally high and just that she’s is looking past social consequence and only focusing on political justice. She is ignoring how big of an ask this is and ignoring how doing this morally right thing would be a personally awful thing for Glinda. It’s selfless of her to fight for the rights of marginalised people because it’s going against her OWN initially selfish motivations but then going around and asking someone to do the same is selfish because even though Glinda also cares about animals, she has no obligation to ruin her life to help them out. asking this of Glinda even though she knows how miserable a life like that would be for her, is a selfish ask!

Now with all that being said you are 100% right that during Defying Gravity Elphaba goes through a change in her character that makes her more selfless than Glinda. But I think ignoring her initially selfish and self-centred roots takes the nuance out of the situation 

By having Elphaba make a personally selfless choice it really contrasts the selfish choice she’s asking of Glinda.

This metaphor is a little out there so bear with me— what if a vegan asked their meat loving friend to also be a vegan because they both hate the exploitation of animals. Who is more selfish? The vegan asking her friend to do something they would obviously not want to do? Or the friend continuing to eat meat despite hating the exploitation?

There’s no right answer because they both have their justifications and rebuttals!

I don’t believe Glinda’s decision was a wrong one because putting morality over personhood is an objectively difficult decision! Even tough I 100% agree with Elphaba’s decision to fight against the wizard despite being hated for it; i don’t think I could do the same!

Anyways this is super long and sorry I was just so passionate about ur response lol. I really hope you respond to this because I would love to hear your opinions feedback!

I love how inherently selfish both Glinda AND Elphaba are as protagonists. But where one gets praised and admired for it, the other gets demonised and hated.

People always attack Glinda’s decision not to runaway with Elphaba, but no one acknowledges how overtly selfish it is to ask that of someone.

Elphaba is asking Glinda to throw her ENTIRE life away for her. To be ostracised and hated all throughout Oz when she knows full well how badly Glinda cares about what people think of her.

And while Elphaba is used to such ostracisation, Glinda is not.

It is an equally selfish decision refuse Elphaba request. To perpetuate corrupt beliefs you don’t believe; in order to be accepted and validated by people in power.

They’re BOTH in the wrong, for entirely different reasons. It was an impossible situation with no right answer. And I’m sick of people acting like Glinda made the “ wrong choice ”

[darcytaylor]

Why I Didn’t Mind the Brothel Scenes in Bridgerton Season 3 - Hot Take

Before I dive into this, I want to make it clear that if you didn’t like the brothel scenes in Bridgerton, that’s completely valid. I’m not here to change your mind, just to share why they worked for me and how I see them fitting into Colin’s journey.

I’ve noticed a lot of conversation about the brothel scenes, with some people feeling like they were out of place or didn’t fit Colin’s arc. Personally, I didn’t mind them, and here’s why I think they actually make sense (for me) in the bigger picture of his growth.

Discomfort Is the Point

Right from the start, I think it’s important to recognize that the brothel scenes are supposed to feel disconnected, almost uncomfortable. The whole point is to show how uncomfortable Colin is with himself at that point in his journey. He’s forcing himself into a persona he thinks he should have, and the scenes reflect that struggle. It’s not about Colin being this confident playboy - it’s about him trying (and failing) to figure out who he is and what he wants, which is messy and awkward.

I think they are actually a crucial part of his self-discovery. By showing him trying too hard to fit into a role he doesn’t understand, it's making sure we feel how lost Colin is (because we already know his character isn't actually like this). His growth feels more earned because we get to witness his struggles firsthand.

A Different Take on the "Rake" Archetype

Now, Bridgerton has explored the “rake” archetype before, with characters like Simon, Anthony and Benedict, who exude charm and use that to hide their emotional vulnerabilities. But Colin’s journey flips that trope. He’s not confident in the way they are. He’s actually a man who’s very much unsure of himself, fumbling toward an identity he hasn’t figured out yet.

Colin doesn’t find confidence in seduction the way Simon and Anthony did - it's more of a mask, something that’s not truly him. The brothel scenes highlight that lack of confidence, showing how far he is from figuring out what he truly wants. It can be relatable for anyone who’s ever felt lost or unsure about themselves.

It’s More About Sexuality as Self-Discovery

For Colin, the brothel scenes aren’t just about physical pleasure - they’re more about experimenting with what it means to be desirable, to be masculine, and to meet societal expectations. This exploration is messy and imperfect - exactly how many people experience sexual self-discovery.

Some people have suggested that Colin’s decision to be with two women at once might hint at demisexuality, and I think that’s an interesting perspective. It almost seems like Colin is trying to remove emotional intimacy from the equation, reflecting how disconnected he feels from his own vulnerability. But I also think that part of it is Colin’s “go big or go home” mentality. If he can be with two women at once, maybe he feels like he’s proving something to himself - or maybe trying to convince himself that he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing.

Either way, his actions may not make him particularly likeable, but they make sense given where he’s at emotionally. He’s trying to figure out who he is, and that’s a messy process.

Bridgerton as Fantasy, Not History

It’s also really important to remember that Bridgerton isn’t a historical drama - it’s a fantasy with a romanticized take on the Regency era. It mixes period aesthetics with modern storytelling, and the brothel scenes should be viewed through that lens. The show doesn’t aim for historical accuracy - it’s about creating an idealized world where love, desire, and self-discovery take center stage.

So while some might have strong feelings about the way the brothel scenes are portrayed, it’s important to understand that they’re serving the narrative rather than trying to make a statement on real-world issues like sex work. In the context of Bridgerton, they’re more about Colin’s personal journey within this heightened, fantastical world.

The Brothel Scenes and Colin’s Need for Validation

Colin is deeply insecure. Even though he’s charming and outwardly confident, he’s searching for external validation - especially from those around him (Penelope, his brothers, and society at large). The brothel scenes are a way for him to seek that validation, to prove to himself that he’s the man he thinks he’s supposed to be (he said that himself).

But the problem is that this kind of validation doesn’t lead to fulfillment. It shows how far Colin is from truly understanding what makes someone desirable - not just in the eyes of society, but to himself. These moments reflect the gap between the performance of masculinity he’s trying to live up to and the deeper, emotional connection he’s actually longing for.

Visual Storytelling and Emotional Growth

One of the things Bridgerton does so well is visual storytelling, and I think the brothel scenes are a prime example of this. They’re meant to feel dissonant - just like Colin’s own inner turmoil. By showing these awkward, forced moments, we’re able to see the contrast between where Colin is emotionally and where he will eventually get to.

The disconnection he feels in those scenes makes the eventual emotional intimacy he shares with Penelope feel that much more rewarding. It’s all about showing how far Colin has come from the man he thought he should be to the man he’s finally becoming.

The Bigger Picture: Colin and Penelope

In the end, the brothel scenes aren’t about the act of being in the brothel - they’re about Colin learning from the experience. These moments set him on a path toward understanding that real connection comes from vulnerability and emotional intimacy. That's why I think we needed both brothel scenes - one where he thinks he is achieving what he should be, then the next is him realizing it's not what he wants.

His eventual relationship with Penelope, which is built on trust, honesty, and emotional connection, will contrast with the emptiness of his earlier encounters. These scenes aren’t just filler - they’re a part of Colin’s journey to self-acceptance, and ultimately, to love.

Final Thoughts

I totally get why the brothel scenes might not work for everyone. But for me, they added a necessary layer to Colin’s story. They showed his struggles, his insecurities, and his fumbling toward a better understanding of himself. In a show that often romanticizes love and desire, those messy moments felt real and grounded. They’re an important part of Colin’s growth, and without them, his eventual connection with Penelope wouldn’t feel as earned for me.

These scenes remind us that love, desire, and self-identity are complex and can be messy - and that’s okay.

[luna-rainbow]

I've seen a lot of differing opinions on how aware Bucky was as the Winter Soldier under brainwashing. Some say he was fully aware but just indoctrinated into wanting to follow orders, while others say he was a programed machine with no control basically.

I just wanted to ask what your opinion on that topic was. I love your other metas btw 💕

Sorry for the late reply! I’ve been somewhat away from Tumblr and I’ll try to work through the bunch of asks that I’ve missed.

The theories that say Bucky was aware and simply indoctrinated tend to be based on his comics origin. I haven’t actually read Brubaker’s run myself, but my understanding is comics Bucky was far more aware of his actions. While I think he still didn’t know his true identity because of his amnesia, he had far more self-awareness and independent thought.

For me, MCU Bucky is not someone who had the capacity to make his own decisions. The fact that the “wipe” manages to deprive him of every frame of reference including even his most recent memories of his missions means he simply doesn’t have the understanding to make judgements. It also seems to me that they erase his sense of identity - comics Bucky may not know his true identity, he at least had an intact sense of self, while MCU Bucky has a robotic, impersonal demeanour when he’s freshly wiped and in mission mode (both the Helicarrier scene and the Civil War activation scenes show Bucky in this very mechanical, depersonalised state). Certainly both of those scenes suggest Bucky doesn’t have much contextual awareness of who and what he’s fighting for. In particular in the Civil War scenes, it suggests that voluntary thought was stripped from him when he’s “activated” by the code words. He doesn’t respond to Howard calling his name, nor does he recognise Sam and Steve later when Zemo activates the Soldier.

I think a lot of the early meta (from 2014) theorised that maybe he was only brainwashed because of that grand speech Pierce gives him (“Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped the century. I need you to do it one more time”). He seems to be appealing to the Bucky that we remember from CATFA, who would’ve stepped up at the beckoning of a greater cause. But to me, that scene was…maybe a bit of Pierce’s mockery and also his manipulation. He refuses to tell Bucky who he’s actually fighting against, and speaks in vague terms about what Bucky’s mission was for. We never see any hint that Bucky knew or understood what cause he was fighting for. As soon as Bucky asks who Steve is, Pierce first minimises and then shuts him down swiftly with the wipe. Bucky also doesn’t respond to Pierce’s pontification — we could either interpret that as him being distracted by his memories of Steve, or that the preaching was just performative on Pierce’s part because Bucky had no idea anyway.

[aventurineswife]

HI HI! I hope you are having a good day/night 💞

I wanted to know your opinion on this:

Like, i been seen a lot of people saying that he should go to therapy, or even go to couple therapy with him. But, since everyobody doesn't want to go to therapy, or when they go, they don't feel still right, or even can get worse. I think he would find another way to heal, one that truly makes him feel safe and comfortable.(SORRY I CAN SEE AVEN IN THERAPY FOR THE MOMENT.)

In my experience, i meet a lot of people that feels more comfortable telling problems to family, friends, or find comfort in some hyperfixation, or be on their own worlds. IDK WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS.

We love you Aven's wife. If you can, please, don't dissappear and became dust.

In my opinion, I think it's entirely valid to think that Aventurine wouldn't find traditional therapy appealing, at least not immediately. His character is deeply rooted in self-reliance and distrust, shaped by a lifetime of betrayal and survival through his own cunning. Therapy, which requires vulnerability and trust, might feel like too much of a gamble for someone like him. Instead, his path to healing could align with the following methods:

Aventurine might find solace in close, meaningful relationships with people who slowly earn his trust. Sharing his burdens with someone who understands his complexities—like a friend or a partner—could serve as his version of therapy. These connections might help him confront his trauma without feeling exposed or judged.

Aventurine's love for gambling and strategizing could act as a coping mechanism and, eventually, a tool for healing. For instance, he might channel his need for control and calculation into something constructive, like designing elaborate strategies to help others, which also gives him a sense of purpose.

Aventurine may benefit from moments of isolation where he can process his emotions without external pressures. He might find clarity in journaling, planning, or even something symbolic, like playing solitary games of chance to reflect on his decisions and fears.

Aventurine thrives in situations where he feels in control, so his healing journey could involve taking action to help others or dismantle systems of cruelty. By addressing the larger injustices that mirror his own trauma, he could begin to reconcile with his past.

Aventurine might find joy and comfort in lavishing his partner with gifts, experiences, or acts of service, using his flair to express love and distract himself from his inner struggles. This could be his therapeutic way of coping—showing care outwardly to feel a sense of connection and purpose.

However, if his partner refuses these gestures or encourages him to focus on his own healing, it might force him to confront his avoidance tactics. Over time, this could lead Aventurine to realize that true healing requires addressing his own pain rather than masking it with grand displays.

And that's pretty much it, I hope this explains it well. Remember this is my opinion but I'd love to see others opinions on it too🤗💖

Also, I'll try not to become one bite from the dust 🕴️ and love you guys too!! 🤗🫂💖🥺

[nightislandnoveltymug]

Oh I love this. Yeah, big same, I never believed that story about Akasha. It's just too convenient: oh, so one of the cruelest things you've ever done wasn't actually your own decision; well, that's all right then! Ideals uncompromised!

I think it's because he has a need to believe he was willing to fight for Armand, regardless of that being untrue. He's looked into his heart about what he would do and what Ivan would do, and he really doesn't like the comprison, so he buries it.

Totally! We the readers know that Marius' cut-and-run response is well established and legendary, but it's clear that he isn't entirely comfortable admitting it -- especially in this particular case where it occasioned so much hurt for someone who (regardless of what Marius insisted to Bianca) actually wasn't able to extricate himself from the situation Marius left him in.

I actually talked a bit about this with Kacy yesterday and yeah, I absolutely believe he was afraid Armand might reject him if he did try to bring him home -- he's continually afraid of Armand's rejection of his ideas, and by extension of him (pitfalls of identifying yourself so strongly with your ideals that the two become interchangeable, but that's a topic for another post), even while they're living together!

(See e.g., why he's so appalled by Armand retaining so much of his cynicism and austere outlook from his former life, and being the 'wizened funereal spirit of a dead man' rather than a contented and keen and willing student, etc etc)

But I also think his wounded pride played a big part in the decision, because he felt like he had already been rejected: when Raymond Gallant informs him about Armand's induction into the covens, and Marius' reaction is to be appalled that Armand had "chosen ashes", emphasis mine, and that Santino had "utterly defeated" him (Marius) by winning Armand over to his side. He's hurt, so he insists that Armand could walk away from the covens anytime if he wanted, because he has the power, physically -- and even though he acknowledges that Armand believes him to be dead, it doesn't seem to occur to him that maybe Armand doesn't have the strength emotionally to leave the covens, when he has seemingly nowhere to go.

I'm not surprised he'd be unwilling to admit to such an uncharitable response when relating the events later.

Marius tells Thorne about this belief of his, that Akasha controlled him, while expounding on all the lies he's lived. I think Anne Rice intended a dramatic irony there -- oh, damn. Great catch!

I think we also have to take into account that this Akasha self-deception only emerges after Marius has lived through Armand's apparent death. That is such a good insight, wow. And yeah, he does seem totally discombobulated by Armand's apparent suicide in canon (and I wrote a long-ass meta post once about that, but the TLDR was, I think it came at a time when the effects of Akasha turning out not to be a benevolent goddess were really starting to hit, so he'd already lost the philosophical scaffolding he'd been clinging to for so long, and then that on top of it all)! Your comment about him realising that the conversation will have to be had one day reminded me that in his POV chapter in QotD, when he embraces Armand, we already get this line: Through his tears, he saw no recrimination for the grand experiment gone wrong. Of course, Anne may not have worked out the backstory when she wrote QotD, but taking the Watsonian view here for a sec, I think he's been afraid of that conversation ever since he learned Armand was still alive -- but Armand going into the sun must have made it so much worse.

I was writing a reply about Marius deciding not to rescue Armand from the Children of Darkness when he heard about him from Raymond Gallant, because he believed that Armand couldn't be dissuaded from his faith, and I re-read the discussions Marius has with Bianca about it, and now I'm just utterly messed up about this parallel, and the way it's even underscored with similar phrasing:

Insist that he come here to be with you. I can't put this coherently yet but I can't stop thinking about how Marius was so jealous of Ivan, to a degree that confused himself. And now I can't help but wonder if he knew that what Ivan had felt, which led him to insist, demand, physically fight invading forces until they shot him so full of arrows he fell off his horse, and then still run after them on foot — if he somehow knew, in some subconsciously prescient way, that if placed in the same situation, he himself... wouldn't be able to???

[tennessoui]

ok this is so self-indulgent that yall are gonna run me off my blog but

au where obi-wan hosts fancy wine&dinner parties, as he’s a renowned chef and retired sommelier (wine expert). the theme of this party is for everyone to bring a bottle of wine and a food that they think will pair well with the tasting notes in their chosen wine, and be prepared to explain their choices to the rest of the dinner-goers.

when anakin (invited by padmé, currently in grad school, easily the youngest and dirtiest person to have ever sat on obi-wan’s nice leather settee) shows up with a bottle of wine that still has the price tag on it ($13 for a “maker’s red mix”) and a bag of flaming hot cheetos, obi-wan knows they’re absolutely going to have hate sex about it

then anakin gets up for his turn to explain his choice and he bullshits so fantastically well, using all the words he just heard these upper class bougie snobs say and using them correctly, that obi-wan is genuinely actually impressed.

oh they’re still going to have hate sex, 100%, but now obi-wan respects the man enough to make him breakfast in the morning

(it’s eggs benedict florentine with house-made hollandaise sauce and freshly baked english muffins obi-wan got up early to bake, and halfway through poaching the final egg he looks over and anakin is leaning against his counter, eating granola by the handful out of the bag as he watches)

[thewingedwolf]

luther: the golden child

diego: the mastermind

allison: the peace keeper

klaus: the clown / mascot

five: the rebel / truth teller

ben: the lost child

viktor: the scapegoat

is this something i think this is something

[oifaaa]

lmao sorry to keep this going but. tim absolutely had it the easiest of the bat kids, not even a discussion. he had a cushy, priviledged life with parents that actually cared about him, and fanon going uwu poor sad little rich boy so so so neglected and abused... GIRL?!?! cass got the shit kicked out of her till she became the best fighter in the world, and she was homeless for nearly a decade after that and yet often feels like shes the one comforting tim ("""little brother uwu""")

I get you I think it is just frustrating when people try so hard to give Tim the back story Cass already has and then processeds to either not include cass completely or just make her a bland cardboard cutout of a character that's only job in any story is to support which ever male white lead is currently crying

[jungle-fae]

Thank you, I wholeheartedly agree with this. Like you’ve said, Ash’s death to me speaks more to the tragedy of the abuse he suffered so young. It’s not about whether he deserved to die, it’s about whether he was able to live under the circumstances. And it’s unfair and horrible, but when you become as entwined in that kind of life as Ash was, there sometimes isn’t a way out.

Does that mean Ash deserved to die? Of course not. He deserved to heal, he deserved to be happy, he deserved the world after what he went through, especially when his heart remained pure in spite of everything. But as the OP put it, the abuse he suffered forced him into a life of crime, and that life of crime was not so easy to escape.

I still wish it would have ended differently, because I love Ash. The amount of pain he suffered in his short eighteen years of life is unfathomably horrific, and more than anything I wanted to see him happy. But I will not say that Yoshida’s decision to end the story that way was bad, or that it means she believes Ash deserved death. Ash’s death is not narratively insignificant in any way. Do I hate that it ends that way? Yes, with every fiber of my being, but the fact that I hate it so much, the fact that I shed so many tears over this fictional character, exposes the tragedy inherent in Ash’s story. The prolonged abuse that forced him towards gangs and the mafia is also what prevented him from leaving it behind. In that I find a powerful message about the resounding echoes of this kind of repeated, sickening violence.

When Ash dies, we are forced to confront the horrors of his life. Sure, it can be argued that all of Banana Fish forces us to do that, but when we receive the shock of his death, we immediately start creating a chain of events in our head to figure out how he ended up at that point. And through that process, we internalize the ways in which the violence done to him stretched beyond any single moment to touch every aspect of his life. That creates an endless, soul-rending stream of grief because we are left with a deep sense of injustice—he only ended up dying because his life was so irreversibly shaped by his trauma, and no one deserves that. No one deserves to have the ability to choose the course of their own life taken away, but that is the tragedy of Banana Fish. Ash lost that ability so young, and that is a very painful reality to face.

If anything, I would say the only one believing Ash deserved to die for the blood on his hands was Ash himself. I won’t go into detail about this because honestly, I’m not sure whether that was truly what was going through Ash’s head when he made the decision to go to the library. What we do know is that he did struggle with a lot of self-loathing. He often saw himself as a monster because of the people he had killed, the things he had done to survive, and so he could never see himself as Eiji did, or as we did through Yoshida’s story. The people who hurt Ash did so to the point that he believed he wasn’t worthy of healing, that he believed he was only hurting others by being around them, and that is once again an effect of that consistent abuse.

That is what saddens me the most about Ash’s death, that he might have believed he didn’t deserve better, when he did. But we all saw it—we all knew, from the very beginning, that Ash was a kind soul whose life was cruelly domineered by his abusers, and he did deserve to live and heal.

What people seem to constantly misunderstand about what Akimi Yoshida said regarding how Ash couldn't have just gotten away scot-free from his life of crime is that it ISN'T Yoshida saying Ash "deserved" to die. Yoshida frames Ash as a hero from beginning to end. He's shown to be a genuinely good and kind person, that goodness remarked upon again and again by multiple characters, and his death is seen as a tragedy. That should be enough to convince people that Yoshida didn't hate Ash or think he deserved to die. The fact she frames him in such a positive light shows she understands that Ash is a good person that was forced into doing terrible things for his own survival and the survival of others. So this insistence that she thought he deserved to die because she said in some fan-translated interview that he couldn't just walk away from his life of crime, or that there's a price to be paid for murder, is ridiculous. It relies on nothing but assumption about the character of the author.

It's also a problem in fandom, in general, where interviews with authors, in which they're often giving on the spot and half-baked answers to random questions without any prepreation, are given greater credence in interpreting the author's intent than the actual, published work itself. How about letting the work stand on its own and interpret it as is? I've seen so much hate lobbed at Yoshida for supposedly hating Ash or thinking he deserved to die, when the actual story itself does nothing but portray Ash as deeply sympathetic and tragic. Again, no one could read "Banana Fish" with any level of reading comprehension and come away with anything but the impression that Ash is the hero and a good person who's life and death was deeply unfair and unjust. That fact alone should override any answer Yoshida gave in any interview, especially when it's obvious how much Yoshida hates giving interviews and very obviously, intentionally gives half-assed answers that she doesn't put much thought into. It's clear from the work itself that Yoshida has a great love for Ash as a person and as a character. She based his design off of River Phoenix, her favorite actor, she shares her birthday with him, and again, the way she frames Ash and his actions is as that of a hero, from beginning to end. I don't know, maybe it's because she sees Ash as a hero herself?

Ash dying only demonstrates the point further about how child abuse ruined Ash's life. He was led into a life of crime because of the abuse he suffered, and the fact it was that life of crime that led to his eventual death, with it basically being a gang dispute that got him in the end, only further drives home the point of how devastating and ruinous child abuse is. Ash wasn't a criminal because he was a bad person, he was a criminal because the abuse he suffered drove him to become one, and then, eventually, that life of crime he'd been forced to lead came back on him in the form of Lao stabbing him, which is what I think Yoshida actually means when she says Ash couldn't just walk away from the life of crime he'd lived. That inability to walk away further demonstrates the tragedy of the abuse Ash suffered, because it shows how it forced him into doing things which eventually came back to haunt him, things which he couldn't "escape". Lao stabbing Ash was in consequence to his being a gang leader, and his being a gang leader was a result of the abuse he suffered. The two things are interconnected with one another. It's not about Ash deserving to die because of the lives he'd taken, it's about how the life Ash was forced to live as a result of his abuse eventually led to his death. That's where the whole notion of "you live by the sword, you die by the sword" comes from. It's not necessarily a moral condemnation of the person committing acts of violence, but an acknowledgement that violence begets violence. That violence is cyclical. But the fact of Ash's death as a result of his life of crime only further demonstrates the true devastation wrought by the abuse of children, and that's the ultimate point of "Banana Fish's" ending. It's meant to force us to face, through the tragedy of Ash's death, the tragedy of his life in turn.

[fandommothlady]

Isha doesn't speak aloud. Everyone that Jinx lost before her became a voice in her head. That won't happen with Isha. All she'll have is her quiet ghost. And I've gotta wonder if the silence will be more or less painful.

[gideonisms]

it's really irritating and difficult to live my life sometimes and for what? not striving to accomplish any huge goals here but the tiny ones, are also excruciating,

[dxsertrot]

Actually everything has been too complicated and now that the sun is out I've decided that everything is actually easier than I thought and nothing has to hurt me unless I let it

[cherrybr4t]

DILF!SEUNGCHEOL (+18, mdni)

A/N: to the anon that requested for some dilf cheol, i love u i am u. i think about dilf cheol probably 20 times a day. wanted to write a hc but got carried away…as u can see… 2k words 💨💨💋

WARNINGS: smut, DILF CHEOLL, unprotected sex, oral (f rec), dom!cheol, sub!reader, f reader, it’s pretty mild…i think…

dilf!cheol whom you met while bringing your niece to her weekly soccer practice. you often helped to babysit her, and you loved seeing her in action — playing passionately every sundays, calling out to her aunt on the field with her adorable pigtails

dilf!cheol first noticed you on one fateful saturday practice at the stands, shades at the top of your head, pretty face with your ponytail dangling behind you

dilf!cheol comes up to you; telling you that you look younger than all the other parents here. you explain that you’re here for your niece, while he mentions his own daughter on the soccer field

dilf!cheol wastes no time, and asks you out on a date the second time yall meet during practice, as if you could say no to the most handsome man you’ve ever met in your 22 years of living…

dilf!cheol decided that a gem like you deserved the finest things in life — bringing you to his favourite restaurant, a private room he booked out specially for you, the best wine on the menu, with the most spectacular view (especially the man in front of you clad in a sleek button up, hair flawless as he combs it back every few minutes)

dilf!cheol who has his own successful company running, always mentions how his daughter is the light of his life, the one thing that kept him going after his ex-girlfriend up-ed and left after leaving pretty little sua on his doorstep. all he wants is to provide the best for his lil munchkin

dilf!cheol being a gentleman, drives you home and you invite him up for some tea, not wanting to end the night there. he agrees, though it probably wasn’t the best decision; considering how he told himself not to fuck you yet — not after a few more dates (he strongly believes he does not have the sex drive of a 20 year old) aaand he really did not trust himself to be in a room alone with you

dilf!cheol was right — feeling all his self-restraining effort go down the drain as he looks at you, sitting so damn near him on the couch, you might as well be on his lap.

you weren’t playing though. you wanted him, and you needed him immediately. your hands dancing dangerously on his thighs, leaning in closer to him whenever he made a witty comment.

fuck the water that was done boiling. you weren’t going to leave this couch to go make some tea, all you could think about was how cheol looked like he was about to lose it too.

he leans in. you lean in. “cheol…” the way you uttered his name in such a soft and slightly raspy manner made his breath hitch. he definitely caught on to the slight cry and need for him to make the move

that was all he needed, before he crashed his lips onto yours, kissing you so fucking deep, you could feel every crevice of his pretty cherry lips, drenched with the need to meet yours. his tongue — oh god his tongue, dancing with yours half way through the kiss, as if teasing you, showing you what that pink muscle of his was capable of.

dilf!cheol loved making demands. first, you were to strip out of your red dress slowly, standing in front of the couch where he sat, manspreading with his elbows propped up on the sofa. he stares, hungrily, eyes watching every movement you made to remove that article of clothing that was driving him crazy all night.

after which he demanded you to sit on his lap like a good girl — making sure you knew that he loves rewarding good girls. the dark spot on your lace panties made him chuckle. “you wanted this that bad princess? had to ask me if i wanted a cup of tea, when this was your true intention all along…” he traces his finger along your thigh as you settle down on his lap.

you let out a whine — embarrassed, but it was true. “why princess? admit it, you wanted me so bad you were willing to do anything to get us in this situation,” his fingers continued tracing to the back of your bra, unhooking it with one hand, letting the lace material fall to the ground.

“yes cheol, i wanted you so fucking bad i- , you looked so good, during dinner a-all i could think about was you fucking me right,” you moaned out, gripping on his hard shoulders, nails clutching on the fabric of his button up.

he let out a groan, “you thought about that during dinner? my dirty girl, so filthy — all for me, i made you like this didn’t I,” his hands travel to your tits, thumbs brushing on your hard nipples, before pinching both buds and pulling on them, eliciting a load shriek and moan from you.

“yes cheol, you did.. n-need you..” he latched his hot lips on your nipple, showing you once again the power of his pink muscle, licking and sucking like it was his favourite candy. it felt so fucking good you couldn’t help but cry out, grinding down on his crotch. feeling like any more attention towards your sensitive tits could make you cum sooner than expected.

“fuck princess you’re fucking soaking, i can already imagine how good that warm cunt will feel around my fingers, around my tongue..”

“and your cock cheol, need you to be inside me,”

“patience, i told you good girls get rewarded,” as if he himself could wait any longer.

he carries you to your room, laying you on your soft sheets. with no buffer time, you feel a pair of lips at your center, licking through the soaked material.

“o-oh my god, cheol,” he rips the material off you, leaving you exposed right in front of him, and he swears he’s never felt this hungry for pussy before. he licks, he inserts that tongue of his down your warm cunt, pushing the walls open, slurping every single drop of you he can. wrapping his thick lips around that sensitive nub of yours, sucking it hard enough that you cry out, arching your back as you laced your fingers through those locks of his, pushing him closer.

“so good.. so good cheol…more more..,” you were a broken record, all you could think about was chasing your high, and the man in front of you was more than happy to make that happen.

“yeah, princess? so good for me, so fucking delicious you deserve to be eaten out every day every fucking hour, goddd,” wanting to look at your pretty face as he makes you come, he rubs your sensitive engorged clit roughly in tight fast circles, while inserting two fingers without warning.

you screamed out, unable to control the unhinged moans slipping out of your lips. you felt otherwordly, as if you were ascending into a new realm with immense pleasure. “fuck, cheol oh my god oh my god,” your moans going higher in pitch when he curled his fingers, touching that textured gummy pad deep inside you, hitting it non stop.

“wanna cum princess? i know you want to, feels so fucking good doesn’t it? i know princess i know,” he spoke in an overly sweet tone, and it just made you clench around him even more. your knuckles turning white at how hard you were gripping those poor sheets.

“i wanna cum cheol, can i cum now? please please please,” your sweat blends with a drop of tear sliding down the side of your face, feeling your high literal seconds away.

cheol’s cock hurts, straining so bad against those dress pants of his. he needs to be inside you now, but he wants you to — no, needs you to come before that. “fuck, you can cum princess, let go for me,”

and you let go, spasming around his fingers, with the loudest cry of the night yet, body jerking up from the immense sensation of flood gates opening.

“yeah that’s right, princess, so good for me, so pretty when you cum, feels so good doesn’t it,” cheol swears he could cum in his pants at the sight of you coming undone, wrecked on his fingers. and he thinks to himself — it’s a sight he wants the privilege to have, every night, for the rest of his life possibly.

you came down from your high panting, looking up to see cheol in his boxers already, pulling them down, only to reveal the prettiest, girthiest cock you’ve ever seen, and all you want is for him to be in you, for him to make you his.

“i-i’m on the pill, you can go for it cheol,” you muttered out with whatever strength you had left in that moment, all you can think about was being pumped full of cheol’s cum. his heart thumps at your words. he lets out a groan, stroking his member as he gets back on top of you, and you admire how his muscle — his biceps and shoulders goes taut, god, he looked so fucking strong, you were about to cum the second time looking at him.

“ready princess? swear m’gonna fuck you til you’re full of my cum,” and he slowly inserts his full length inside of you, and you moan at the stretch his thick cock gives you.

“hnnng, so thick cheol, so big,” you moaned, nails gripping on his shoulders and he grabs both of your wrists, slamming it right above you on the pillow, holding you right there. you whined, while he spotted a smirk at the corner of his lips.

“look at you princess, so fucked out when i’ve just barely started, is my cock that good baby? hmm? you like it that much?” one hand pinning your wrists down, the other adjusting your leg above his shoulder. the angle making you feel him in places you didn’t know you could.

“this is what you wanted, right princess? fuuuck look at you, so fucking pretty all under me,” he falters; wanting to degrade and embarrass you to utter filth, but looking at you being so good under him, he can’t help but praise you, telling you how good you’re being for him.

your heart swells, pussy gripping onto him even tighter if that was even possible, “cheol…i wanna cum again, wanna cum around you,” you whine out, eliciting a deep growl from the man above you.

“i swear princess, you drive me fucking crazy,” he snaps his hips into you in an insane pace, feeling so lost in the feeling of you and your warm slippery cunt hugging his cock so good he thinks he went to heaven and back for a moment.

as he feels his release approaching, he’s in disbelief at how fast it comes, but he can’t hold it in any longer. “cum with me princess, fuck, can’t take it anymore, need to fill you up nice and full with my cum.” his moans get louder and you love how needy he sounds; not holding back, moaning your name with a crack in his voice.

with no warning, your orgasm crashes over you, arching your back, crying out cheol’s name as you spasm around him. “fuuuck baby i’m coming,” with slower thrusts, cheol leans down to give you a passionate kiss as he releases his hot load into you, it spills and shoots, so much fucking cum that it leaks out immediately and you moan at the feeling, at complete bliss being so full of his cum.

dilf!cheol giving you the best aftercare ever, you’re his and only his now, his princess and now he self declares that he’s going to take care of you like no other man could, or will!

dilf!cheol has a stamina of a teenager, going for multiple rounds throughout the night, leaving marks all over you, needing so bad to claim you as his.

yup…trust that i’m not done w dilf cheol and i’ll be back with MOREEE ✍️💋 anws i hope yall like it <33 if you did, like/comment/rb to lmk what u think abt it 😍 thanks for reading lovelies,, xoxo 😘💨💋

[verysium]

attractive things bllk characters (unintentionally) do?👀

i received this ask and decided to write this entire thing through a caffeine-powered fever dream. may have gone a little overboard. please pray for both your sanity and mine. thank you anon for your strong sense of imagination (or delusion, whichever you prefer.)

nagi lifts the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, and you accidentally (or not so accidentally) get a good look at the droplets running down his abs and v-line. he also does the doorway lean while waiting for you to get ready. since he's so tall, he puts his one arm up on the top of the door frame while scrolling through his phone. when he feels drained of energy, he clings to you like a koala, face buried into the crook of your neck.

rin pushes his hair back when his bangs get in the way, and it shows off his ridiculously sharp side profile. sometimes you have to pause mid-conversation because the direct eye contact gets too intense. he has the brightest turquoise eyes in existence, and they stare right into your soul. pair that with the height difference and him towering over you. hang onto your ovaries because this man is about to snatch them. if isagi or sae are anywhere remotely close within your vicinity, he will personally drag your chair closer over to him. you know, the whole nick jonas chair pull thing? he also unintentionally clenches his jaw when pissed, the vein popping out and everything.

barou is polite to his elders. he holds the door open for others. he tips extra at restaurants. he is kind to service workers. he's just a gentleman overall even though he likes to act tough. he rolls up his sleeves while cleaning or cutting up vegetables, and you can see the veins bulging in his forearms. wears those form-fitting aprons where you can see the outline of his waist and the muscles in his back. he is not immune to raging pit bull moments, but he will calm down immediately when you ask him to.

kaiser requires physical touch to function. all concept of personal boundaries goes poof in his little ego-driven brain. he holds your chin so you look up at him while he's talking. also has that husky growl when he wakes up in the morning. he speaks german. what else is more attractive than that? if you stroke his ego, he will puff his chest out like an emperor penguin and flash that movie star smile. does not slow down his pace for you, and will laugh at your expense when you trip in heels and fall. but then he feels guilty about it and begrudgingly picks you up and carries you home. however, before that he will make you swear on everything holy to never tell isagi about his moment of weakness. (tbh kaiser is a menace and has some serious self-esteem issues. pls avoid dating a man like him in real life until he is fully mature. i still love him tho.)

reo mansplains but not in the condescending way. he does so in the "omg i'm so excited to finally get to share something with you and you're never going to believe it" sort of way. rambles on and on about his interests and gets that little glint in his eye when he's passionate about something. also not sure if this counts but he gets extremely depressed when you don't message him back within five minutes. what do you mean you were busy? he was out here dying from a literal famine. he needs your affection to survive. last but not least, he is good at styling. he knows what colors work best for you, and he will put together three new looks for you in record time.

hiori dreams that you left him for good and wakes up crying with his arms around you. will refuse to let you leave the bed even if it is just to get a glass of water. his rare moments of emotional vulnerability are what gets to you.

shidou does not condone any of your bad decisions. you want to get shit-faced and party until early morning? no complaints from him. you want to wear sexy outfits to the club? say less because he's about to enjoy the view and knock out the front teeth of every guy who dares to ogle you. i don't know if this qualifies as being attractive, but he would never be the controlling type. you can dress and act however you want. unfortunately for you though, this is also a textbook case of the blind leading the blind. if you get horrendously hungover, so does he. if you get pulled over, he's going to be too blackout drunk to even comprehend the officer's words. you can count on him for a good time, but not anything else. do not take any of his advice at face value.

oliver likes to show you off even if he doesn't notice it himself. any talk with his team, and he will find a way to make the entire conversation about you. at this point, the entire u-20 team is done with him. they placed bets that you two wouldn't last more than a month due to his philandering reputation, but the universe seems to think otherwise because you and oliver hit the six-month mark and are still going strong.

ness guards your drink with an unnecessary amount of protection. while you left to go use the restroom, he was looking left and right, and the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling every time someone even came close to your cup. he also shoos away any person who opens their mouth while standing next to your drink because apparently the condensation from their breath could be dangerous. definitely covers your cup with both hands even if it has a lid. no suspicious shit is happening on his watch.

yukimiya is well-read, and he wears glasses. he has a copy of every single classic out there in existence and will fangirl along with you over your virginia woolf collection. he was written by a woman with two cats and a wine glass. not much else to say.

loki absolutely clears the entire carnival/arcade game. you want that giant teddy bear that costs over three hundred ticket points? say less because he's about to win the whole damn pot. of all characters, i would say he's one of the only green flags. like celery green.

isagi always looks for you when he enters the room. intentionally or not, he always seeks your presence. if someone says a funny joke, he turns to you to see if you're laughing or not. also does that somewhat creepy stare thing where he just looks at you quietly while you do mundane tasks. internally he is screaming cus what do you mean you actually like him?

chigiri gives you that thankful little smile whenever you stand up for him. i feel like people don't understand how goofy he can get as he's canonically good at doing impressions/impersonations. also has the prettiest laugh. if he ever cuts his hair, i think i'm going to get a nosebleed.

noa unconsciously says yes to every question you ask of him. he'd be giving bastard münchen a hard time (and denying isagi's requests) but then immediately once you come over, he's automatically acquiescing to everything you say. the rest of the team is low-key shocked you can win him over so easily. when they confront him about it, he just shrugs and goes "y/n is always right."

kurona's entire existence is attractive. he's just perfect. nothing is ever wrong with him. will let you check out his shark teeth and lightly pokes your finger to leave an imprint. hopefully you'll always remember him that way. he's also quiet so he will listen to everything you say and give ample weight to your words.

sae is my baby girl so he gets a whole section dedicated to himself:

absentmindedly plays with your hair. when you're sleeping in his lap, he'll gently run his fingers along your scalp. sometimes in the morning when you're sitting up on the edge of your bed to do your makeup, he'll come up from behind you and brush back your hair. might also press a kiss to the back of your neck.

helps you put on your face mask. when he's shopping, he will buy you lotion along with his own skincare products. says that it was just a convenient store run but you know he personally made sure to get you the best quality ones.

this is canon because i said so: when he gets out of the shower, he slings the towel over his neck or his shoulder. he also involuntarily flexes his biceps when he bends down to grab something. has the world's most defined deltoids.

when you're stuck in large crowds at the airport, he puts his hand in your back pocket to keep you two from getting separated. if the TSA pat-down is anywhere too personal for his liking, he will openly glare at the officer once you've passed the security checkpoint.

bonus point: when you two brush your teeth early in the morning, he has that little bed head where his shorn-off bangs stick up in cute little tufts here and there. will have a dead look on his face, but his eyes soften when he catches your gaze through the mirror.

[nepenthendline]

the not-so-good parts about dating them

a/n: I am nothing if not a red flag lover

includes: midoriya, todokori, bakugo, shinsou, kirishima, kaminari, iida, hawks, aizawa

Midoriya -

Midoriya's priority list is '1. everyone' so, sometimes, it's difficult to feel special in his eyes. It's not that he doesn't see you as a top priority, he just often lets himself get caught up with other people and dealing with their problems so you don't get his undivided attention all that often. He doesn't mean to do it at all, but he has missed dates before because he was staying late at work to help his students or got stuck helping out a friend.

Bakugo -

🤨 Aside from his obvious anger issues, Bakugo often struggles to see you as a team and not just individuals. Whenever you argue, he often sees it as a 'me vs you' and not a 'us vs the problem', and he sometimes makes big decisions without talking to you first. He feels like he has to be better than you because he needs to be a provider and a protector, so he tackles issues on his own instead of talking to you and working things through as a team.

Todoroki -

Todokori has no reference to what a 'healthy' relationship looks like, and it terrifies him. All he knows is what, or who, he doesn't want to end up like, and it stops him from taking initiative in your relationship because he's scared of doing the wrong thing. He knows he's not like his father, but he still worries that he's going to end up like him anyway, as if it's fated. Because of this, things move incredibly slowly, and it can be hard to tell that he does love you since he doesn't often make moves or use words to show you. He knows he wants, and needs, to improve though, he just needs some guidance.

Kaminari -

Kaminari struggles with self-sabotage in your relationship - he convinces himself that he's not good enough for you or that he's making your life worse by being with you, and can push you away, cancel dates late minute or act like he doesn't need you. These actions never last long before he snaps out of it, and you're well aware by now of what's going on in his head when he starts acting like this, but he's always convinced he's going to fuck this up. And sometimes, he believes it so much that he does. The guilt eats away at him daily.

Kirishima -

(Absolutely nothing) Kirishima hates showing you when he's feeling down, weak, or 'unmanly'. He bottles up a lot of his negative emotions and thoughts away from you and they gnaw away at him. Its not that he feels like he can't talk to you, in fact sometimes he lets things slip because he feels so comfortable around you, but quickly tries to put a positive spin on his words so that you don't worry. It's more that he feels he shouldn't, and that you have enough things to deal with as it is. He wants to be a safe space for you, so dealing with his emotions is out of the question. He never blows up at you because things get too far though, you just wish he could rely on you more.

Iida -

For the first while in your relationship, it almost felt like you lost your friendship with Iida. The lines between being friends and being a partner were extremely defined to Iida for some time, and he felt that every interaction between the two of you had to be so formally-relationshipy - this meant things such as only spending time with you on pre-scheduled dates, affection felt like ticking boxes on what was 'meant' to come next in a relationship, or not letting you see his deeper, darker times. Things do get better after some time and conversations, but it kinda felt like the first year of your relationship didn't really count.

Shinsou -

Shinsou feels like being with you is the most selfish act someone has ever committed. Sometimes he even thinks that, somehow in a way he doesn't know, he's forcing you to be with him. He feels like you can do so much better than him, but he loves you too much to let you go (not that you would anyway). He thinks that he doesnt treat you as well as you deserve and so he goes overboard to 'make things up to you', when in reality he's the most caring, selfless person you've met. He often brings up the idea of you finding someone else, or that you can cheat on him and he'll stay if that makes you happy, and it breaks your heart every time.

Aizawa -

Aizawa feels like everyone he truly lets in, he has lost, and he is terrified that's going to happen to you. So, he tries to keep his feelings and thoughts for you as surface-level as possible. The problem is that he's terrible at doing that - he has such a big heart and he wants you in every way imaginable, which creates a lot of inner conflict for him. One minute he's telling you everything weighing on his mind and letting himself fall deeper into you, and the next he's keeping you at arms length. He's scared to admit that he relies on you or that he needs you, but he does it anyway and it tears him apart inside.

Hawks -

He lies to you more times that he would like to admit. Well, it's more that he's very good about skirting around a question or situation rather than telling you the truth. There's some things in his life, his past, or his thoughts that he feels are best not being part of your life, and so he will tell you little lies and make adjustments to the truth to fit a narrative that he prefers. He wants to protect you from any negativity or darkness that he can - he knows what going through that feels like and he does not want you to have to feel that too, but mostly, and most selfishly, he's terrified of you thinking he's a bad person because of some actions he's had to take. It can be almost impossible to tell when he's lying or telling the truth because he's extremely open and upfront with other topics.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Sanemi losing what is left of his patience when you get injured by a demon

Pairing: Sanemi x wife!reader

Word Count: 3k

Synopsis: Despite the fact that your husband is the opposite of your quiet and kind self, you love him dearly while Sanemi treasures you in a purely unique way. But even though you learned to love his rough side the way it is, you can't stop tears from falling when your husband loses it after you get injured by a demon

Warning: this is THE angst to fluff y'all, Sanemi is a rough but soft boi I'm so weak for him in this fic omgomgomg, been listeing to again by noah cyrus and lana del rey while writing this, injury + angst + near death experience

this might be my favorite sanemi fic coming from my own hands so PLEASE if you feel the same, I'm super thankful for a lil like, comment or even reblog. THANK YOU SO MUCH 🤍

Oh, it was never easy, being the wife to none other than the wind hashira. When you’re quiet he’s noisy, when you’re put together he’s all over the place, while you act loving and kind Sanemi shows his devilish side.

But there was not once a day that made you second-guess your decision, not a single moment that made you feel something apart from deep affection for that man. It doesn’t matter that you are the opposite of him in each and every sense. He’s yours. And you’ll forever be his.

“Sanemi!”

Your oh so sweet voice echoes like a well-composed melody through his ears, makes him forget the wave of anger that washed over him earlier. Just seeing you standing there in the yukata he gifted you years ago while holding a dish with ohagi in your hands allows him to forget all the shit that happened for a brief second.

“Didn’t I tell you that you aren’t allowed to overwork yourself?”, he grumbles before sitting down opposite of you.

You look as good as always with your hair well-brushed and kind eyes lit by the down-going sun. What would his life look like if it didn’t contain of coming home to you? You, his only ray of sunshine. You, the only one who’s able to calm his temper down. Just you, his beloved wife. Who would have thought that out of all hashira, he’d be the one who treasures his wife the most?

“It’s not me who is overworked, but you. Did you get bruised again?”, you question with your melodic voice.

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“Will you stay home tonight?”

“I definitely hope so. If that crow disturbs my sleep again…”

“You have an important roll to fulfil, as a hashira-“

“’It’s my honor to bring peace to those who aren’t able to look out for themselves.’ Yeah, I already know.”

In contrary to his harsh tone, his fingertips caress your cheek gently while his eyes soften in an instant. It was hard, learning how to read him. When you first met, it was not uncommon that you broke out in tears after he talked to you like that. But now, after 4 years of getting to know him, you never lose your kind smile.

“How was your day?”, he continues.

With a swift motion, he pulls you between his legs and presses your head against his bare chest while his strong arms keep you in place. This are the moments that make your life worth living. Just you and your husband, arm in arm, watching the sunset in nothing but peace and silence.

“I enjoyed the nice weather while taking care of the garden. The tulips look exceptionally beautiful this season.”

“They’ll never be as beautiful as you, though”, he replies with low voice.

If life could stay like that. Oh, what you’d give to never let go of him again…

-later that night-

“Wind pillar, wind pillar! An emergency occurred! Countless demons were spotted nearby! The demon slayer corps need your assistance-“

“Can you just shut the fuck up”, Sanemi mumbles while pulling you closer sleep-drunken.

Immediately, you are wide awake. Nearby demons?

“Sanemi, you need to get up. What if someone gets injured?”, you whisper into the dark night.

“So what?”

You stare at him through the veil of darkness, not daring to say another word. He will get up eventually. He always does.

“Urgh, fine…Time to kill some demons, then”, he finally grumbles and drags himself away from you in order to put on his uniform.

“You stay here until I get back. Even if our estate is build pretty safe and I’ll rip off the heads of the demons around first, I don’t want you to be out there on your own. Got it?”, he instructs you before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead like he always does.

“I will. Please be careful and watch out for yourself”, you whimper.

It’s a challenge to let go of him each and every night he is forced to leave. He might be a hashira, but what if he doesn’t return by sunrise some day? What if he meets an upper-ranked demon unexpectedly? Just when he’s about to leave, you grab his hand one last time.

“And don’t act reckless”, you add.

No matter how much it hurts to let go of his hand, you know you have no other choice. This is the life you chose, the price you have to pay in order to call that wonderful man your beloved husband.

“I can never promise you that”, he replies before leaving you alone in the now cold and awkwardly dark room.

Everything will turn out alright. It just has to…

You don’t know how long you’ve been awake already. Minutes? Hours? All you’re able to do is stare at the ceiling above, ears perking up with every minor movement of the trees outside. Surely, Sanemi will return soon. Being the skilled fighter he is, it normally takes him at most two hours until he returns with his sheets still a little warm. But aren’t those two hours over already?

Another noise outside catches your attention. Is it a tree again? You furrow your eyebrows, immediately sitting up straight while staring outside the window. No, this almost sounds like the whimpers of a child. A child outside at this hour?

You swallow hard. A child outside when there are demons reported around this area?

“P-please, someone help me! I-I’m so s-scared!”

Your heart drops to the floor. There is no doubt in the fact that this has to be a child. Your mind starts racing back and forth. It would be absolutely unacceptable to leave that poor soul out on its own, especially when you can’t know if the area is really free of demons. But on the other hand…You bite your lip when your husband’s words replay themselves in your head.

“No matter what happens when I’m gone. Don’t. Go. Out. On. Your. Own. At. Night. Need me to spell it, (y/n)? Never ever, not in a million years. Got it?”

Not under any circumstances. Your husband made that very clear countless times. But does that include a helpless child outside your estate in the middle of the night? You aren’t a fighter like Sanemi is, even refused to keep an emergency katana in the house just in case. There is no way you could harm a single soul, not even a demon. Leaving a child outside in the middle of the night…isn’t that just as unforgivable?

Sanemi said that he’ll take care of the demons around first. That means you’re safe, right? But even if that poor child doesn’t face danger in the form of a demon, it will certainly freeze with that cold breeze rushing over the land these days.

“P-please, is someone there? I’m s-so tired and s-so cold…I…I can’t walk anymore…”

Your heart aches with every word. No matter how much value the promise you made towards your husband holds in your heart, you simply can’t stand the thought of ignoring an innocent little child that needs your help.

“Why are you out there all on your own, where are your parents?”, you shout into the darkness of your home while making your way to the door.

Is it really okay, breaking the promise you’ve made like that? You grab the handle of the door tightly. This might be the only time you’re actually useful. Without any skills apart from cooking, you can only watch from the side-lines how the demon slayer corps save the world. Maybe this is your chance to do a little something as well, your chance to actually be helpful.

You swing your door open while holding your breath.

“Where are you? Let’s get you inside and grab a warm tea, okay? You must be freezing”, you speak out gently, eyes scanning the garden for the little figure.

“I’m right here!”, the innocent voice cries out to your right.

Instantly, you pick up your pace and sprint towards the tiny figure lying in the grass. Oh no, you can’t imagine what this little child has been through, how it even got here. Did it get lost in the woods and failed to return before the night came? You’ll have to prepare a guestroom right away, just after inviting this little one in-

“Foolish woman.”

Time stands still, your glossy orbs starts to tremble when the tiny figure in front of you starts to build itself up, grows taller and taller until it surpasses your own height by multiple inches. This…this isn’t a child.

Your eyes widen in sheer horror, blood rushing through your ears so violently that you feel like fainting any given minute after it strucks you like lighting.

You were tricked by a demon. After Sanemi warned you over and over, you fell for the lousy trick of a demon. Out of instinct you start stumbling backwards, glossy eyes darted towards the horrific creature with bright red eyes and fangs bigger than your own head.

“I waited patiently until that demon slayer was gone. A young and beautiful woman like you sure tastes nice. Now that I’m seeing you fully, you were definitely worth the wait. I’m sure your flesh tastes excellent.”

Your blood freezes in your veins. Is this really how your life will come to an end? Because you didn’t listen to your husband, because you wanted to be somehow useful? How will Sanemi react, finding out that you were killed? Suddenly your legs threaten to give in and force you to come to a stand. It’s not like you’d be able to defend yourself in any kind of way when all you ever did was taking care of Sanemi and your imaginary perfect life.

A perfect life, ruined by one night of carelessness.

His face flashes in front of your inner eyes, the kind smile he always wore when he didn’t know you were watching. Despite the flaws others see in him, his hot temper and the way he treats his little brother, you are head over heels for him. Your husband, your everything, your Sanemi. A perfect little marriage, ruined by you.

“Don’t”, you hush into the night like the fool you’re are.

“How much I love hearing you little women beg not to get killed. Music in my ears!”

He dashes towards, ready to slice your throat open single-handed. Out of instinct, you let yourself fall backwards into the wet grass, watching how his claws brush over your forehead with enough force to discolour your vision red.

“Nice moves. You seem really healthy. That’s actually even better”, the demon purrs.

This is it. Your final moment on this earth, killed through the hands of a demon in your own well-groomed garden. You never imagined it all to go down like this, not when you’re still so young and full of love.

You didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye, to tell Sanemi one final time how much you adore him and that you’ll love him through everything. Will he be okay? The man who lost almost everything, who has to live with a burden heavier than earth itself balanced on his strong shoulders. This…this will break him even more.

“Any last words?”, the demon jeers at you.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat. No, there is nothing this creature deserves to hear from you, not even a single scream will escape your lips. You rest your lids, picture his oh so gorgeous face in front of your inner eye. If you only had more time, if you only listened. Your beloved marriage, vanishing in thin air.

“I’m sorry Sanemi. I’m so so sorry…”

When will it be over?

“Touch her and you’ll die.”

What...No, this is impossible, you have to be dreaming-

“Or nah, you’ll die anyway.”

 The urge to open your eyes again becomes unbearable.

Your heart skips a beat. Instead of getting greeted by the claws of the demon, you’re able to read it very clearly.

“Destroy.”

This back, so familiar broad…

“Sanemi?”

“Didn’t I tell you to stay inside the house?”, he barks over his shoulder.

It happens faster than your eyes are able to follow. One high jump, one slash of his sword and the demon’s head falls onto the soft grass in front of you. Immediately, you are surrounded by dust rising towards the moon.

“What were you even thinking?”

Before you’re even able to feel relieved your husband storms towards you, not a single spark of affection gleaming in his furious eyes.

“You promised over and over”, he screams on top of his lungs.

“I’m-“

“And you fucking lied into my face!”

Roughly, he grabs your Yukata with both hands and yanks your throbbing figure towards him.

“I’m so-“

“Is all of this a joke to you? Don’t you trust your husband enough to do as you’re told!? You’ve had this one job, that one fucking job to stay inside the house!”

“Sanemi, I-“

“Are you out of your goddamn mind? Did you really want to die right here?”

“Sanemi…”

You breathe his name into the night with strangled voice, tears now streaming down your face like a waterfall. You made a reckless mistake, but none of this happened because you wanted to hurt him. His words, his furious gaze, his hardened eyes so venomous that you have to look away dig themselves like knives into your already fragile heart and simply take your breath away. Out of all feelings, your husband is livid at you.

“I…I’m sorry”, you finally press out.

“You could have died, (y/n). You know that?”

He pulls you towards himself even harder, his hands fisting the fabric of your yukata so tightly that you fear he might rip it.

“You could have died and I couldn’t have done a single fucking thing. Losing you…Fuck!”

He yanks your chin upwards with one hand, forces you to look at him through your wet lashes. But you aren’t greeted by his stone-cold glare. No, are those…tears shimmering in his orbs? What’s left of your heart breaks in an instant.

“I can’t lose you. Not you, not the love of my life. Not another loved one. I couldn’t fucking stand this shitty world without you by my side. How many times did I tell you to stay inside the house when I’m gone at night?”, he screams at you.

“I-I’m sorry”, you hush through shaky lips.

“You’re my everything. Fuck, I love you so much…Losing you like that…”

The next second you find yourself devoured in his strong arms, holding you pressed against his chest so tightly that you can feel his heart pounding.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again, (y/n). Never”, he mutters into your hair while caressing your bloody hair.

“I’m sorry”, you mumble again.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Are you hurt? You’re bleeding, goddamn. Let’s get you inside, this needs to get stitched up.”

You don’t dare to contradict, allowing him to carry you back into safety with your arms cramped around his neck.

You’re safe. Sanemi is absolutely furious with you, but the worry in his eyes, the gleam…You bury your head inside his uniform, desperately trying to escape your own foolishness. None of this would have happened if you just stayed inside like he told you. If you were smart enough…

“How did he get you outside?”, Sanemi finally breaks the silence while cleaning your wound.

“He played a scared and lost child”, you mumble.

“Huh, what I thought. You’d never break a promise over nothing”, Sanemi replies, his voice a little softer than before.

“I know you tried to help, but never to shit like that again. When I saw you lying there and your blood on the grass, I almost died. You’re my everything, my wife. I can’t lose you because of a demon, you hear me? I was so damn worried about you…”

“I just wanted to do something…useful…”

“Useful? Are you too dumb to see how useful you are?”, he bites back.

Sanemi stops barking at you immediately after seeing how glossy your eyes turn all over again. No matter how fucking mad he is right now, he can’t hurt you any further. It’s clear you acted out of the right motives, he shouldn’t scream at you like that. Especially since you almost died tonight. Not his wife, not when you’re everything he has.

“I treasure you more than everything else in this world. You’re the reason I’m still believing there’s something good left here. Don’t you dare to risk your important life like that again, got it?”, he gently continues before caressing your cheek the way you love so much.

“I never wanted to cause you this much trouble. I…I was acting dumb…”, you mutter, intertwining your fingers with his.

“We’re all a little dumb from time to time, yeah? Let’s go back to sleep, that was more than enough for one night.”

You don’t hesitate when he pulls you along into the oh so inviting sheets. With him by your side, they definitely feel way more inviting. With him by your side, you don’t have to fear a single nightmare haunting you down this frightful night.

“At least I’m having an excuse now for a day off tomorrow. I love you, (y/n). So so much”, Sanemi mumbles into your hair, holding you so comforting against his chest that sleep washes over you almost immediately.

“I love you too, Sanemi…”

There is no doubt in the fact that Sanemi held you even closer each and every night after almost losing you through the hands of a demon.

Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake

@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @sugu-love @ryva @baku2345

@komelrebi-san @kentocalls (your fic will be next) @barbuse @sunshine7queen @lavenderdrxp

@yaninnaacu @hopefulbelievertimemachine @skeleton-the-gangser (reader isn't pregnant in that one, but the vibe is the same as with the Yoriichi fic you enjoyed)