#it's a nice day so i feel like i shouldn't be on tumblr too much but we'll see.....

[britomart]

i love adding emojis to the end of almost everything i say i can't help it sometimes things are just so rabbit emoji mantelpiece clock emoji cloud emoji tulip emoji key emoji star emoji teddy bear emoji candle emoji pot of honey emoji dizzy emoji 🐇🕰☁🌷🗝⭐🧸🕯🍯💫

[gojomamashouse]

Taking Care of You

Pairing: Mike Schmidt x babysitter!reader

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral sex (M receiving), breeding kink, praise kink, Fem!reader. Very minor mentions of injury & blood.

Description: He had never considered himself too fond of domestic life until you came into his house and made it feel like home.

A/N: crossposted on my Ao3 and Tumblr.

3.7k words

18+ content! Minors and ageless blogs dni!

You remember the first time you came over to babysit for Mike all too clearly. You remember the way your eyes went wide when the door opened, and how your jaw nearly dropped to the floor. More importantly, you remember thinking that Mike Schmidt was far too hot for his own good, a clear image in your mind of how he had greeted you with tired eyes, messy hair, and a hand gripping the doorframe.

"Mr. Schmidt," you had blurted, ignorant to how his nose scrunched at the words leaving your mouth, "It's nice to—"

"Don't tell me I look that old?" His tired expression tried a smile, and you found yourself standing there, unable to formulate a proper response as you were already convinced you messed up the job before you even started. "Just Mike is fine.”

Back then, the only thing you knew about him was that he was hot, overworked, and clearly exhausted. So you did your best to make his life easier, even if those things were small, like cleaning all the dishes before he came home, tidying up all the clutter left behind on the table and kitchen counter. It wasn’t much, but you figured he could use whatever help he could get. He came home the first night, too tired to even notice before collapsing on the couch. Suppressing a giggle, you threw a blanket over his sleeping form, lingering a moment longer than you should have just to observe his face. Even in his sleep, you weren’t sure you could find even an ounce of peace in his expression.

—

Mike remembers the first week of your babysitting, when he returned home at some ungodly hour that Friday. While most babysitters in the past opted to lay on the couch, sleeping or watching TV, he had discovered that you preferred to be a bit more proactive. That night, in particular, he recalled your humming in the kitchen, rinsing the dishes before placing them in the dishwasher.

A strange feeling filled his chest at the sight, the smell of dinner still lingering and the radio playing some old song from his childhood. It was a feeling he shouldn't have been feeling towards the babysitter looking after his little sister. You had jumped when the floorboard creaked beneath himself shifting weight, still shy and jittery around him at the time.

“I didn’t see you come in,” your voice is still shaken from the scare. You turned to the oven, “Oh! I kept the food warm, in case you wanted some. Are you hungry?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” he said, blinking a bit to shake the thoughts from his head, “Ah, you don’t have to do all this, you know. The cooking and cleaning stuff.”

“I don’t mind. It’s not like I have anything else to do,” you returned your gaze to the dishes in the sink, “Besides, you work hard. It’s the least I can do. Just let me take care of it.”

Just let me take care of it.

A phrase he hadn’t yet forgotten, either. When was the last time anyone had taken care of anything for him? He’d taken on the role of being Abby’s caretaker the moment his parents were out of the picture. He had made countless sacrifices, dropping out of school to work full-time, losing his social life. His old friends preferring to go out partying rather than hang out with the guy who has a kid sister and a full-time job. Every day was work, only to mess up at work. Then go home, stress over a dirty home. Drive Abby to school, stress over her education and development.

He didn’t have it within himself to deny you, not when you were so kind and helpful. Even if the guilt ate away at him, reminding him how he couldn’t even afford to pay you close to what you deserved.

His eyes wandered to an image on the counter. There was himself, a familiar stickman with brown hair. There was Abby, of course, given the height difference. And then there was another figure, the hair undeniably similar to yours. All three figures were holding hands together inside a square home.

“What’s this?” He picked it up.

“Abby told me it’s us,” you had laughed, placing a dish in the dishwasher. “Cute, right?”

There was a thumping in his chest as he looked at you, before looking back down at the paper. All he could manage was a smile as he pinned it to the fridge.

You soon felt his presence at your side, his hand picking up another dish while you rinsed yours.

“Let me help with that,” he said.

—

You’ve fallen into a routine. Every day, when he returns home, he is met with the same thing. You, in the kitchen, humming. You, greeting him with a smile. You, sitting down to eat with him. You, always asking him about his day even though you know by now that he has nothing interesting to say. He prefers to hear you talk instead, to listen to you ramble about your shitty college professors and annoying roommates. He likes it like this. To be able to pretend that he���s not some deadbeat who can’t hold down a job to save his life or some traumatized freak haunted by the memories of his dead brother and parents. With you, he gets to pretend like he’s normal.

But, of course, just because he can pretend things are normal, doesn’t mean they are. Reality soon hits him when he’s sitting in his boss’s office, asking Mike for his badge and ID. It hits him when he’s driving home, remembering how he beat an innocent man, his knuckles still bloody as he grips the steering wheel tight. He walks through the front door, hearing you greet him from the kitchen, a sound that would have been music to his ears any other day.

“Mike?”

He doesn’t have the energy to reply. No, all he can do is walk over to the chair in the living room, sinking into it with a sigh. He loosens his tie and closes his eyes, trying to ignore the sound of dishes clattering in the sink followed by your footsteps against the hardwood floor.

“Hey, you okay?” Your voice is soft and gentle. His eyes shoot open when he feels your even softer touch against his forehead, laying the back of your palm flat. “You’re not sick, are you?”

In all the time you’ve been babysitting, neither of you had done so much as touch each other at all. The few times he could remember was how your fingers brushed when you reached for the same dish in the sink or the innocent hand you placed on his shoulder that one time you laughed so hard you couldn’t hold yourself up. He had always made sure to keep his hands firmly placed in his pockets or at his side. Now, you were touching his face, and he thinks that’s the first time anyone has touched him like that in years.

“Don’t worry about me.” He pleads, his body betraying his words when he leans into your touch, your hand drifting to caress his cheek, “You don’t have to.”

You ignore him, and your eyes scan over his form, before landing on his bloodied knuckles. A gasp escapes you, followed by the scolding of his name. He hears you stumble towards the bathroom, rummaging through whatever you can find and returning with a washcloth and disinfectant. You kneel beside him, cleaning the dried blood from his wounds and he winced from the sting of the alcohol.

“I know I don’t have to,” you finally break the silence. “I worry because I care.”

“Why?”

You avert your gaze.

“I just do.”

“That’s not a good enough answer.” He presses. There’s another pause.

“Because this feels like home.”

The answer is enough to render both of you silent, you out of humiliation, and him out of shock because he hadn’t realized you thought the same way.

You finish wiping the last bit of dried blood from his knuckles and there’s a lingering feeling left on his skin, where your fingers held his hands. Soft. Familiar. You’re still kneeling in front of him, but you’re wearing an expression he hadn’t seen since the first week he met you. It’s that look of shyness, the way you used to squirm under his gaze or shrink your presence out of fear of overstepping a boundary.

“Mike?”

“Yeah?

“Let me take care of you. Please?”

He knows it’s wrong. He knows that “messing around with the babysitter” has never been a good idea in the history of ever, but when he sees you gazing up at him like that, sitting on your knees between his legs, your eyes wide like that. Well, what the fuck else is he supposed to do?

The chair isn’t too high from the floor, so he easily finds himself at somewhat your level when he leans forward, his hand lifting your chin to look him in the eye. He pauses, analyzing your face just for a moment. Your lips are parted, so prettily, and your eyes are filled with a look of lust and desperation.

“Please,” you repeat, this time in a whisper.

Any semblance of self-restraint he had before was all lost the moment his lips met yours. He hadn’t realized just how hungry he was until he got a taste, a groan escaping his throat when he feels your tongue in his mouth. And you, you are so pliant. So eager to please. Still timid, hands hesitant as they rested on his knees, but so willing to let him handle you however he pleases, moaning when he tugs on your hair, whimpering when his hands grope your chest through your shirt.

“Quiet,” he mutters between kisses. You feel him pull away, the ghost of his lips at your ear, “we gotta be quiet, yeah?”

You nod, and he kisses your forehead, a tender change from his rough kisses shared only moments prior. He looks down at you, a flustered mess, but knows he must look the same. He couldn’t even remember the last time he let himself indulge like this. He feels your hand slither up his thigh, fumbling with his belt, groaning when you feel him through his jeans.

“You’ve had a long day, haven’t you?” You ask, looking up at him through your lashes as your hand dips into his boxers.

“You have no idea,” he says, his hand caressing the side of your face, making circles with his thumb against your cheek. He can feel your skin heat up under his touch. Your hand wraps around his hardening cock, and he has to stop himself from bucking into you. You’re just so gentle and sweet and he knows you’d let him take his frustration out but he just cannot allow himself to do that just yet— not without a little guilt.

“Then talk to me.”

“Got, ah, fired,” he chokes out, feeling your thumb swipe over his tip, gathering his pre-cum and helping you stroke up and down with more ease. “Was my fault, too.”

“You started a fight, didn’t you?”

“Something like that.”

He looks down at you, his cock now fully hard in your hand. He can’t hold but admire the sight, how you hungrily stare at him, or how you press your thighs together to relieve yourself of your own desires. He feels his breathing become heavier with each passing stroke of your hand on his dick, and he forces himself to look away, his hand that had previously been caressing the side of your head now digging his fingers into the back of your scalp.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now,” he leans his head back, in an attempt to stop himself from busting in your hand before you’ve even done anything. He swears he’s not usually this sensitive, but the fact that it’s been so long, and the fact that it’s you, had him feeling like he was a teenager getting his first handjob all over again. He tries not to think about it. “I’m already behind on bills. I don’t think I can even pay you. Probably won’t even get another fucking job after what I did.”

“You don’t need to pay me.”

“You’ve got to stop saying shit like that,” he shakes his head, almost in disbelief. He looks down at you again, and you’re pressing your lips to kiss the underside of his dick, then kissing his tip. He shudders. “You’re too good for this. For me.”

He’s about to continue, but your lips wrap around him and he can’t think of anything. Curse words slip from his lips, feeling your tongue work around him, your hot mouth taking him. He still has his hand on the back of your head, tempting him to force your head down, but he’s more curious about whether you’d try to take him all yourself— which you do. He feels your throat contract around him as you try to push yourself down his cock, determined to take it all. Sometimes, you really were that predictable. Sure, you were a timid little thing, but you were equally if not more stubborn. He grips the back of your head to pull you off, a cough rising to your throat as you catch your breath and he smiles lazily.

Your quick to take him back in your mouth, and he cherishes the feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat, and your hands that reached for the base of him to stroke whatever you couldn’t take. He gives an experimental thrust and he’s in bliss when he hears you moan around him. And as much as he wishes he could do this forever, watching you take him in your mouth, he knows his own limits and he knows he won’t last any longer. Besides, he’s neglected your needs for far too long.

He pulls you off of his cock finally, tears stinging the corners of your eyes, your lips puffy from their earlier actions. Then, he’s lifting you to the couch, hovering over your form as your back hits the cushions. Mike is thankful that you chose to wear a skirt tonight because with your legs spread like this, he gets a full view of your white cotton underwear, as well as the wet patch your arousal has created. He brings his hand down between your legs, feeling you through the fabric. He can hear your breath hitch and he watches you bite down on your lower lip to suppress your noises. And as much as he wants to tell you not to, he is reminded by the fact that you are both doing this in the living room, and the last thing he wants to do is traumatize his little sister, who is sleeping a few doors down the hallway.

“Didn’t know you wanted me this bad,” he whispers, finally slipping his hand past the fabric barrier to gather your slick at his fingers and rub your clit with his thumb, his other fingers prodding at your hole but not yet entering.

“Wanted you for so long,” you admit, sucking in a breath when you feel his thumb circle around your clit again. “You’re really fucking hot.”

“Yeah?”

Two of his fingers finally sink into you and you’re gripping the fabric of his uniform at his shoulders. Rough, long and so much bigger than your own— you have to grit your teeth even harder to stop any sinful noises from escaping you.

“Always thought you were real pretty, too.” He continues, “You’re prettier right now, though.”

He continues to pump his fingers in and out of you, the wet sounds making you burn up in embarrassment. He’s obsessed with the way your eyes roll back, how your pretty lashes flutter open and closed, and how your hips buck to meet his rhythm.

“More, please,” you finally let out, your eyes going down to his cock, which was still very much hard. “Need you inside.”

You whimper at the emptiness you feel when his fingers leave, but quickly forget about it the moment your panties are removed and you feel his cock rub against your cunt, the tip resting at your entrance. You expect to feel him push in, only to see that he has paused.

“I don’t have any condoms,” he says, a pained look on his face. He had no reason to keep any around any more, not since providing for Abby had become his number one priority. He mentally kicked himself for it now.

“Mike,” you whine, trying to roll your hips up, but his hands remained firm against you, keeping you down. “I don’t care. Just pull out or something.”

You feel like a pathetic idiot for saying it, and he feels even more of one for considering it at all. All he can manage is a sigh. He’d already crossed so many lines tonight that he shouldn’t have. What difference would crossing one more be?

He hesitates before pushing in, but once he feels your tight walls around the head of his dick he can’t find it within himself to have any regrets. You’re so tight and warm and wet and he loves the way you stretch around him, gasping with every inch he gives you. He pauses when he’s buried at the hilt, mentally trying to cool himself down because the fact that he’s fucking you raw and you’re taking him so well is driving him mad.

“So good,” he coos, his hand on your face, thumb on your lower lip, “so fucking good.”

He pulls away until he’s nearly out again before thrusting into you fully, and he has to slam his hand over your mouth to stop the moan that would have escaped you. He continues to fuck you like this, slowly, and deeply, before it’s not enough, and he finds himself taking you faster, harder, wanting to see how much you were willing to take.

You feel every inch of him inside you, and you can’t help but clench around him every time the tip of his cock hits the spot inside you that you can’t reach with your own fingers. You feel so full and it’s everything and more that you’ve needed for so long.

He pushes up your shirt, revealing your cleavage. Your breasts are still covered by your bra, but he pinches your nipples through the lacy fabric anyway, content when he hears you make a sound, muffled by his other hand which remains on your mouth.

He can tell you’re close from the telltale sign of your pussy clenching harder, and how you start to freeze up, too fucked out to do anything else. He, too, starts to feel himself approaching his limit but knows he has to hold out long enough to let you reach your high first. He finally removes his hand from your mouth and uses it to rub your clit.

“Such a good girl,” he breathes.

“I’ll always be good for you,” you keep your voice a whisper, “Always waiting for you when you come home.”

Your words ignite a desire within him he never realizes he had. He had never considered himself too fond of domestic life until you came into his house and made it feel like home. Now, as he’s fucking you, the only thing he can think about is how deeply he wants to cum inside you, over and over again until he gives you another kid to take care of. He doesn’t care if he can’t afford it. He’ll pick up as many jobs as he can get just to take care of you.

He feels your back arch and your walls clench around him, immediately going to kiss you to swallow your cries. He ruts into you, over and over again and though there’s a sinful voice in the back of his head telling him to fill you up until he’s dripping out of you, he knows he should stay true to his promise to pull out. That is, until you tell him otherwise.

“You can do it inside,” you choke out, still fucked out from your orgasm, “I don’t mind—“

Before you can finish your sentence his hips come to a stop and he’s finishing inside you, as deep as he possibly can, as if to not waste a single drop. When he finally pulls out, he can’t help but watch in awe as his seed drips from your cunt down to your ass, ruining the couch cushions beneath you both. He tries not the think about the consequences that will bring. Instead, he’s pulling you close, catching his breath while laying his head against your stomach. Moments later, he feels your hand running your fingers through his hair and he sighs, leaning into your warmth.

“I don’t want you to be Abby’s babysitter anymore,” he starts, his voice hoarse and worn out. He can feel you tense up when he says it, before immediately continuing, “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

He hears you laugh.

“Does that mean I won’t get paid anymore?”

“I’ll repay you in other ways,” he flashes you a suggestive smile, earning him a snort and a flick on his forehead. Still, the guilt gnaws at him from within. “Seriously, though. I will. I’ll take care of you, too.”

He doesn’t care what job he picks up next. He’ll take any job in the world, so long as it means he can provide for you and Abby.

—

You wake up the next morning, the scent of pinewood and campfire surrounding you. You don’t remember exactly how, but you remember, after being fucked mercilessly, being carried to his room, cleaned up, and falling asleep in Mike’s bed. Now, you find the place next to you empty but can observe Mike standing at the door, speaking in a hushed voice while holding back the door.

You stand on shaky legs, still wobbly from your earlier affairs, approaching the argument.

“Abby, go away!”

“No! Let me—“

“What’s all this?” You interject.

Mike loses his grip on the door and Abby opens it wide. Her arms are crossed, adorning a frown while Mike is bringing his hands to his face.

“Abby, I can explain—“

“Why didn’t you tell me you guys were having a sleepover?” She fumes, “We could have built a pillow fort!”

[arginnit]

FULL ILLUSTRATION COMMISSIONS OPEN

questions about possible pricing, any of the boundaries or if i can draw something that isnt mentioned are more than welcomed, my inbox is open with anon enabled and my dms are open aswell!

you can contact me through tumblr dms or discord to either request a commision or just ask any questions in private!

(discord name is "wadds")

drawings you commission may not be used for merch,nfts or any other comercial means unless some form of compensation is added to the price of the commission. otherwhise theyre meant exclusibly for personal use (EX: phone wallpaper, to print for your own room, icons, fic covers, or character references)

payment through mercado pago would not be done with us dolars and prices would be adjusted to still make sense in that case (en pesos argentinos, pueden esperar un descuento de hasta mas la mitad)

FAQ:

difference between a closeup and a PFP?

a closeup is a zoomed in drawing where any composition, posing or extra elements are present, they can go from half the torso up Generally. while pfps are centered solely on a characters face and have no background beyond simple patterns, elements like "character holding something" could also be present and they dont add to the total

when exactly does the background start costing extra?

rough guidelines are written above in the picture, but I tend to be pretty lenient on them. if you ask for a drawing with a simple background (ie, Not payed) and I later ask if I want to add any details to it they will not add to the cost and you do not need to worry.

how long will this take?

depends on the drawing but it shouldn't take more than a couple of days once I've started working on it, that being said if there are commissioners in from of you in the line it could take longer for me to get to it. but I always try to get every commission done I'm at least one week

why is mercado pago argentina only?

mercado pago doesn't accept international transactions sadly and I am argentinian

can we negotiate the prices?

I consider my prices to be very low to begin with so no. however if you are from a country with a very high dollar price I might CONSIDER it cus I'm nice and all.

what does "obvious fetish content" mean?

it refers to drawings that might not include sex directly but alude directly to an sexual fetish or scenario, ie a girl being restricted by tentacles or someone being gagged and tied while naked. if your fetish is like, feet or smt then it's fine.

what does "predatory pairings" mean?

a pairing where the power imbalance is the main drawn for it. think teacher student relationships, cop / prisoner or similar dinamics. I'm simply not comfortable with it so I won't draw them.

why no background with the clean línes style?

i don't like how my backgrounds look without rendering and don't feel comfortable charging for them in that state

why no profile pic with Ms paint lineless?

the canvas size on those are pretty small and the style doesn't allow much detail, I don't think it'll look too good simply

[peri-peri-sauce]

I never thought I would have to make this post and I was really hoping not to, but I feel like I can't stay silent about it any longer.

I'm fed up with this fandom.

I'm fed up with the hypocrisy of those who say they hate it when people start the queue before the sun rises, but then they're the very ones starting it at midnight.

I'm fed up with the disrespectful people who cut in line and push others around to get the front row for the fourteenth time in their lives, or who don't even have a shred of respect for disabled people.

I'm fed up with the stalkers who have nothing better to do with their lives than chase after Jere, take sneaky photos of him and his crew, and wait for him after gigs even after having met him multiple times.

I'm fed up with people who have the audacity to talk shit about Jere and cancel him on every social media platform only to come back as if they hadn't said the most outrageous things about him.

I'm fed up with those who pretend to be Käärijä fans but then insult and disrespect him and his crew just to get a little attention because their lives are too boring.

Because of the toxic part of this fandom I've lost a lot of motivation to remain involved and engage with other fans. I'm so angry I can't even properly express my feelings and thoughts about certain people, and as much as I try, it's impossible to stay out of drama when it happens repeatedly and every single day.

People with this kind of shitty behavior should be publicly called out so that everyone knows what kind of scum exists in this fandom, and we shouldn't let them get away with it every single time, especially when they have the absolute audacity to brag about being a low number after queuing since midnight, or "accidentally" meeting Jere for the hundredth time, or getting front row after pushing, as if it wasn't the most pathetic and embarrassing thing to brag about.

Luckily, Tumblr is a relatively peaceful platform where drama is not common, but outside of here everything feels like a shithole. Twitter is full of assholes who constantly kiss each other's asses, and Discord is packed with entitled idiots who think they're always right and everyone else is always wrong.

So thank you to the Tumblr users who make this fandom a little bit better. I'm grateful to at least have a space where people aren't assholes and where we can all have fun without dealing with drama every day. If it weren't for you I would have left the fandom a long time ago and wouldn't have met all the nice people I've come across so far.

The rest of you can go to hell.

[stranger-opinions]

maybe it's not a writers-block; maybe you just need a break

creativity is a muscle, right?

you need to exercise it to keep it in good shape, to have it ready when you need it and don't we all love those hyperfocused sprints of writing where the words just spill out of our fingertips...

but muscles get sore when you overuse them, will strain when you force them past their limits, they need nourishment to stay healthy and in shape

fandom today has a competitive atmosphere. many wouldn't admit that; it's supposed to be fun after all. just vibing with our mutuals, playing with the blorbos having a fun time online to scratch a few itches.

but the truth is that it can become a lot of pressure rather fast.

putting out several k of (edited) writing a month, setting up painstakingly formatted posts with the right tags and a fun header we spent hours on to look effortlessly cool and eye-catching just to hit post and then feel... nervous. excited too, sure...

but damn, when will the next chapter be finished? or the next one shot? will there be enough time to put a few blubs in between so that the few people who actually seem to care won't forget about us and move on?

writing for writing's sake is a nice notion. the myth of the self-sustaining artist who needs nothing more than a passion and their tools of choice.

but shit isn't just created out of nothing.

what has that all to do with the title of this post do you ask?

very few people can just keep going and going making art like that without needing any breaks and a good portion of those people very likely have very different conditions than most of us have with full-time jobs, families, school and so on.

For many of us writing is a main outlet, an important hobby and a safe space but that still doesn't change that it is a creative hobby, an outlet that demands energy: emotional, mental and physical (typing for hours is hard work if you want to believe it or not) and that sometimes makes it impossible to accept that we just need a fucking break.

"writers-block", in my own experience, is my brain telling me that something is off and that it's on strike until I fucking fix that.

and sometimes it's just that I need a break.

that I need to recharge my creative batteries, take in things that inspire me, that make me happy and get me excited without having to make anything myself. to just be. take some walks amongst trees, watch a new series, read a new book, go into a deep dive of some random topic on wikipedia until I don't know where the fuck I started from.

sometimes I just need to log out, cut the overstimulation of a never ending dashboard, turn off what everybody else on tumblr is doing, how much everbody is putting out, get away from my frustration about "my flopped fic" or the latest fandom drama and reconnect with the real reason I am doing this.

the love for stories and the source material.

for some people those breaks can be as short as two days, for other is might be weeks or months and that is not only okay but totally normal.

sometimes you might realize that the reason you are not writing is that you actually don't want to. sometimes you just want to daydream without the extra work sometimes you're just not in a writing mood and it's not much deeper than that.

that doesn't have to mean you're done with your blorbos. it just means that there are more valid and fun ways to play with them.

don't worry, the fandom will still be there when you decide to pick up the keyboard again. maybe with less people, maybe with many different people but you will always find someone who cares. those who have moved on to different things not come back wouldn't likely have stayed if you had powered through.

fandom shouldn't be a you're in or you're out thing but a place you come to when you want to.

contentification of fandom has had a lot of negative effects on the way we create and so many people fade from their hobby because they simply burn themselves out to a point where it leaves a scar.

so. find something that makes you happy that does not require you to invest too much creational energy. rest those muscles as long as it takes.

nothing you can get on tumblr or ao3 is worth the sore brain, the frustration with yourself and the stress you add onto your mental health ontop of everything else in your life.

recharge, reevaluate, reconnect

have fun

[factual-fantasy]

25 asks! Thank you! :}} 👹

I have it in the back of my mind, but I haven't actually made any steps in making more master posts.. 😔

ReBLOGGING is good! Its a feature of Tumblr and helps more people find my artwork! Very nice :))

RePOSTING is stealing my art and posting it on your own account. Giving you and only you all the credit. That's theft and no good!

I think I remember wanting my sona to be an object head of some kind. I think I doodled probably a dozen different ideas before I got frustrated and just scribbled my most recent attempt out.

But then it hit me. I doodled two little white eyes on the scribble and I knew I had found my sona XDD

@xxthedragonrebornxx

XD Thank you for remembering my boundaries and respecting them! :)) And THANK YOU FOR THE CUPCAKE!! :DDD

I haven't read it, but I've seen it blowing up all over tumblr. It must be pretty cool! :00

@milk-powrit

<XD I won't lie, Bill is a fantastic villain. I just "hate" him because Stanley is my favorite character and Bill put his family through hell 💀

Most of the team: "Aww 🥰💞💞"

Gloria: "WHO ARE YOU AND HOW ARE YOU HOLDING ALL OF US UP AT ONCE"

@pink088

<XD These past 2-3 days have just hammered me health wise, but I can at least say that I've been sleeping enough!

And thanks for the check in! I wish you the best :))

(Pokemon violet comic(?))

:DD Thank you!! I'm glad you liked it!! :)))

If I ever really go into those series I would :00 But I cant remember the Godziilla movies- plus that would be really hard to draw <XDD

There's so many sonic medias that i wouldn't know which one to go by- and I've seen playthroughs of Poppy playtime but it never really grabbed my interest.. <XD

I'll do my best to keep up with all that <XDD Thank you!

(Frank butterfly post)

Oh there's no need to worry about Frank! It might be hard to tell- but that was actually a moth! Frank had bags under his eyes because he was out late studying moths :))

<XD Well considering Homes intentions are intended to be unknown- you're free to imagine that! :D

@skywillow28022

ohmygosh the third movie is so good I actually cant watch it anymore lest I burst into tears 😭😭😭💞💞💞 10/10 WOULD recommend cars 3--

Anyways- I ADORE the cars franchise and absolutely would have drawn them more.. if cars weren't so hard to draw <XD Plus my favorite thing to draw is angsty cuddles and hugs and big droopy eyes and tears- that's kiiiind'a hard to pull off if your characters are cars-

Of course I could always draw them as humans like many other artists have.. but idk, it just doesn't feel the same you know? <XD

Also thank you! I hope you day goes well too! :))

@neo-metalscottic (Welcome home post(?)) (Octonauts eye study) (Oxem and Pepemijo comic)

AAAAA Thank you sop much! :DD I'm glad you've been liking my recent posts!

As for Oxem and Pepemijo, I cant show images because of the stupid 30 images limit-- But Pepemigo is based on/inspired by the Year of the dragon mask, and Oxem is based on the current season of Duets seasonal guide mask! :00

I imagine there are other dragons out there, like that other sky dragon that I made one time-- <XDD I don't really have any ideas for their powers or their story, but I had intended that Pepemijo at least knocked the krill out in self defense. Thankfully they wont be hunted by krill following that event- Oxem got them to a safe place and he knows that he should steer clear of krill territory in the future <XD

And of course! I'd love to see any critters that you've made! :DDD

@sussyhahag

uhg, always disappointing to see.. thank you for letting me know though 😔

*VERY LOUD CARTOON BROKEN HEART SOUND* (I LOVE THISSS)

<XD yup.

Also even though that disclaimer is there for FNAF and Octonauts, I still get people harassing me anyways!.... :')

@vesselofmanythings

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DDD And I wish you luck on your slime rancher creative adventure!! :}}}

AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDDD That means a lot!!! :))

@starsbee

This shouldn't have made me laugh as much as it did XDD

@wolfie-777

Oh no.... THAT MUST BE ME WELCOME HOME AU COMING BACK--

@anikakitty11

Somethin ain't right with that dog <XDD

@edelgeist (Referencing this post)

oooh :00 I wasn't aware of that- thank you for the info! Perhaps I should invest in a cooling pad <XD

I have not <:( But after googling it- I love the artstyle! :DD

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

A mix of the posts I see about Sebastian bulking for The Apprentice and Chris being in NYC for filming The Materialists have me thinking up my first-ever evanstan nonsense 🥺

I know they're both in long-term relationships now. Chris just got married, I knowwww, but let me wallow in this like a pig in the mud 😭🤣

I'm just saying that it would be awfully convenient for Chris to stay with Sebastian in his New York City apartment while he films... Plus, I would like to think that they already have a relationship going here. It's pre-established. Another thing I see about Sebastian on Tumblr is his submissive tendencies. There are so many signs and they make me all melt. So, they're together for the few months it takes to film The Materialists while Seb is prepping for his own film and they have their low-key dom Chris and sub Seb dynamic going.

Evanstan belly kink weirdness below! Warnings for slight weight-related insecurities (that are quickly smoothed over by Chris), kink discovery, sub!Sebastian/dom!Chris, weight gain, stuffing, etc.

One afternoon on a weekend when neither of them is required to be anywhere, they're just having a slow afternoon in as Seb confesses to Chris, finally, that doing this sugar-heavy diet - shotgunning cokes and snacking seemingly constantly on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - is kind of awful. He knows he shouldn't pout or complain because he's doing it to himself. He decided to take this film; he's the one who suggested that he physically go for it rather than relying on a fat suit like he did with Lee Bodecker; further, he shouldn't complain because it should be nicer and easier than his usual pre-filming routine. Like, he complains so much about his crazy diets and workout regime for every other role he takes (having defined abs is a job in of itself, after all). So, really, it should be nice to relax and stop restricting so hard. But it isn't.

Seb vents to Chris many more things, too. For example, not only how surprisingly tiring it is, he feels lethargic all the time, but also how much work it is to make room for all this food in his stomach. Even when he was bulking up and waking up in the middle of the night to eat a whole chicken breast, keeping his protein up, he didn't feel like he had to stretch his stomach in the way he has to now. Plus... he's kind of scared, he admits as he fiddles with his shirt, that he won't "bounce back" and if he never looks the way he did before, his career will go south. Hollywood is so vain. Even more frightening is his thoughts that maybe Chris won't like him as much if he can't go back to his old body after this.

Logically, Seb knows most of his thoughts aren't true but he needs someone else to say it back to him to verify those things. He's searching for something, someone in particular, to calm his swirling thoughts.

Chris does more than verify what he needs to hear - that he'll be okay, that it is hard to make such a drastic lifestyle change, that it is challenging to bulk with fat as much as it is to bulk with muscle, he's seen him struggle every day he's been here, and that, of course, his body doesn't matter to him. Seb can look however and Chris is still going to love him. Further, he can look however and he'd still find him sexy as hell. Chris reminds him extensively, until Seb is blushing, how he couldn't keep his hands off of him when he was filming Pam & Tommy and was the tiniest he's ever been, but also how fucking terrible filming Civil War was because all Chris wanted to do was shove Seb into the nearest dressing room and have his way with him rather than reciting lines. Not to mention, of course, every other role with every other body type he's had while they've been together. Chris can't get enough of him, not matter what the shape of his body is. But...

Seeing how pouting Seb is at that moment, Chris wonders out loud if it might help him feel better if this weight gain wasn't just for work. What if it was recreational, too?

Seb doesn't understand at first what Chris means but with more explanation, he does.

Oh.

What Chris means is that what if rather than just having to put on weight for work... what if they played a game like they do in the bedroom where Chris makes the orders up and Seb follows them until he's shivering with the feeling of being obedient and good. Not having any control, ceding it all to his boyfriend, and being praised for his subservience just the way he craves in exchange. In the bedroom, being taken care of how he needs to be, held by the back of the neck, stern, with a voice in his ear, firm and inarguable. Shit, Seb always leaves his body when Chris gets like that with him.

If Seb wants to play, Chris could order him to eat and eat until his stomach aches like he already has been doing. But it will be different because it will be because Chris told him to. And it'll be different, hotter, because if he does what Chris says, Chris can soothe his upset tummy however he sees fit. A reward for following orders. Chris can rub his belly for being a good boy and doing what he told him to. Devouring everything he told him to eat. Chris can kiss the apex of his rounded, stuffed belly and trail hotter, sloppier kisses down until he's hidden behind the taut hill of his stomach, sucking his dick until Seb busts down his throat. Chris can fuck Seb on all fours to let him feel what he did for him, how good he is, his belly hanging and jiggling underneath him without an ounce of shame because he did it for his boyfriend - feeling extra stuffed than he already does when he's fucked by Chris' thick cock.

Not to mention how, if that was the case with Seb eating for him and not some production, when Seb looks in the mirror, rather than being reminded of work and how exhausting it is, he'll be reminded of Chris. He will see his reflection widened, softened, and changed with evidence of what a good boy he is. His boyfriend's marks visible on his body in a way that they usually can't risk - no hickeys or bite marks anywhere that paparazzi can catch. Not even any mark as innocent as holding hands! Further, unlike a hickey, a bite mark, a collar... that weight can't be faded as easy. Chris' mark on him will last.

Chris has always been a little possessive, Seb is familiar with it and often enjoys it seeing as the possessiveness comes out as roughing him up, taking more control, and fucking harder. Ngh. And so, Seb can wrap his brain around why the weight would be sexy to Chris. He can believe him whereas before he was having trouble understanding what about being fat would be sexy to his unbelievably attractive boyfriend. Literally movie-star-hot. Talking like this, he can see it in Chris's eyes - they're locked onto him, the tiniest hint of a smirk on his lips, and one of his eyebrows is raised. His expression turned on and dangerous but with just enough of a question to let Seb know that if he refuses, he won't push or bring it up again and they will go back to normal.

Seb isn't sure if he can go back to normal after those words, though. Jesus.

Evidence of Chris on his body. All over his body. Not something he can take off easily yet something everyone can see. PLUS, God, the thought of Chris rewarding him, giving him treats, to coincide with daily orders? Seb isn't sure he'll survive. He'll be floating through days in a cloud of arousal, he can feel it already, just knowing that he's constantly pleasing his boyfriend, fulfilling his orders.

Possibly it's Seb's background experience of giving up control to Chris and getting his rocks off as a result that's giving this the appeal it has. But maybe... maybe there's something bigger here.

Bigger.

Something bigger like his ass. His ass that's been feeling considerably wider every time Chris can't resist but give him a teasing spank when they pass each other in his tiny apartment or the way he gropes him whenever they fall into bed now, taking handfuls of it. His flesh jiggles now in a way he didn't before and, suddenly, like a switch flipped right here, sitting on the couch with his boyfriend and talking, he's curious about how it would feel for there to be more meat on his bones. More fluff for Chris's big, strong hands to sink into. More to jiggle. He's...

Seb's mouth is dry, feeling like needs a drink. A coke?

He feels abruptly, intensely sexy in his own skin at the same time that he's thinking about getting bigger. Bigger and better to drive Chris insane with, flaunting how he can follow orders eagerly, not just eating as much as he tells him to but relishing in the eating, stuffing himself fast and moaning through bites, begging for belly rubs just to keep him close and have his hands on his body, exploring all the ways he's changing it to satisfy him. Gaining weight faster and faster, all to feel it but especially to hear Chris's praise and moans if he ever gets big enough for Chris to really fuck his pecs when he gets big enough for Chris to fuck his moobs.

Can we just admire how he squirms when he blushes? 🥴

[satlun]

Lust: John Constantine x fem!reader

Genre: smut, nsfw Trigger Warnings: mentioning about religion (a bit idk if I should add it but yeah), swear words, slurs; sl**t, wh**re, unprotected sex, missionary, oral (f!receiving)

You need money and he is lonely.

Author's note: my first time writing performing exorcism guyss (if you know what I mean ><) loll it's quite hard when I have to write in English lol so if it sounds weird please please please don't laugh </3 plus the problem is idk what word I shouldn’t write on tumblr idk if tumblr allows or not allow which word so if it’s weird or I can use another word pls tell me I'm scared that I might be banned lol so in this one shot I use ** to censor a lot (as much as possible I don't wanna be banned! *scream* 😭 it might not sound so smooth so sorry in advance readers!)

Credits: Gif (right) Gif (left)

“You got a lighter?” A sound of woman interrupted John while he was drinking cough suppressant outside a supermarket. He has a cough a lot lately, it doesn't surprised him at all actually since he smokes 30 cigarettes a day since he was 15. “Yeah” He finds the lighter in his suit before giving it to you. You light the cigarette that is now between your lips up. “Thanks” before handing it back to him. The way he dresses up just makes you curious. It is Saturday night and this guy is wearing a suit, full set. “How was your job interview?” Who knows? Maybe there's a company around here has an interview on Saturday. “What?” He turns to face you with confusion in his eyes. Your eyes glance down at his clothes. “A suit... with black boots.” He followed your gaze. “I didn't have an interview.” And this guy wears a suit on a daily basis? That's interesting. He's kinda odd or maybe cool. “Good for you. Companies around here are sucks.” He raised his eyebrows. “I have been interviewed by companies around here for like 13 companies and still not get a job.” Maybe it's your fault. That's what he thought. “It's not my fault.” You just slapped him by words.

He sighs and gives you a goodbye look. “Good luck then.” He said with emotionless face. Does he even have emotions? John walks to the car park nearby where he parked his car earlier. Well, that was a short conversation actually. You think to yourself. “You live around here?!” You shout and run after him with a cigarette on your hand. “Maybe you can recommend me some companies? I really need money!” He still keeps crossing the road without looking at you. “I'm not an office worker.” Yeah definitely because his life doesn't fit it. “Well, then how do you live without any money?” He stops and turns to you. You're like a stalker for him now. “What do you want?” He asked firmly with annoyance in on his face. “A job? Money?” You feel so helpless honestly. You're an unemployed woman at 30. How embarrassing you are. No job means no money and no money means your life is going to be harder. “I can't recommend you that. I'm not an office worker.” Nice sentence to end the conversation. “Too bad.” You said. John continues to walk again. He doesn't even care really. Who even are you? A completely stranger. “You have a girlfriend or something?” What kind of question is this? And to be asked by a stranger? John is confused that he needs to turn his face and look at you. “What?” The way he keeps walking way from you makes me think about him in two ways. First, he has a girlfriend and he is loyal with her so much that he doesn't even talk with other women. Second, he hasn't had a girlfriend and out of touch with women because he looks scared of you? Actually, who wouldn't be scared when a stranger keeps messing with you. “You got a girlfriend?” He answers without any shame. “No” He said as he opened the car door. “Hey wait. Just asking.” He looks at you with emotionless face again. “A man like you shouldn't spend time alone on Saturday night, you know.” What's it about Saturday night? “What do you mean?” There's a car past you both at the moment so you need to shout. “It's a shame!” It was supposed to be a joke. “I don't care.” He gets in the car and closes the door. “Don't you feel lonely sometimes?-” You said before he shutting the door on you but then you don't stop knocking on the window so he just has to roll it down. You start to speak again. “Let's think about it, it's a rainy Saturday night means tomorrow is still a weekend. You have no girlfriend, I have no boyfriend and I also need money. You have a car and maybe you live around here. I can take your loneliness away for a night.” He is about to roll the window up again but you use your hand to stop it. “And you know what, rain can really make us feel lonely. I did a research on it yesterday.” Yeah you actually did a research on it yesterday. He doesn't seem to answer you so you speak again. “You're out of touch with women.” You underestimate him. “I'm not.” He frowned at you. That's rude actually. Out of touch with women? Oh my. “Yes you're. You look at me like I'm a demon and keep walking away from me.” You tossed your cigarette on the wet ground and stomped on it. “Because you're a stranger and the fact that I don't know you at all.” You nod at him and smile sarcastically before leaning on his car. “Sure. I’m [y/n]. 30 years old. Married twice. No children. Just moved here last week and unemployed. You know me now.” Well, you really get on his nerves. “That's not-” you interrupt him immediately. “What do you want to know more about me? I can cook. I can clean. Don't have many hobbies watching movies... baking... and I love writing but most of the time I'm lazy.” You add. “And you're my type.” Well, that quite impress him. Not the fact they he's your type but the fact that you don't even give up after he ghosted you many times earlier.

“You won't give up, will you?” Now you look at him like a puppy, waiting for food. It's start to rain again. John notices the rain that's pouring down on you. “As long as you don't tell me to fuck off.” John smirks and looks away. He hesitates for a moment. It's raining now and maybe it's not that bad to have a woman in his embrace tonight. He never had a girlfriend before but he isn't out of touch with women. He sometimes sleeps with the girls he meet at bars or restaurants around here. They come to his apartment time to time but that's only for one night. He hates commitment and attachment issues. And here you're a bad little girl, standing next to his car begging him to fuck her and give her some money which that's not even a problem for him. He might not have a big house but he can afford you that. “How much?” A big smile formed on your face. “Let's talk about that later.” He didn't say anything except unlock the door as an answer for you. You get in his car and now he drives you to his apartment.

You are standing right in front of his apartment door while he is unlocking the door for you. As he opens the door, you notice there's a spell on the frame of the door. That's kind of new thing for you meanwhile it is something that a guy like him would do. John takes off his black suit and his necktie since they're now soaked with rain. You slowly walk in and observe around. It's big but it's almost like an abandoned apartment. It doesn't matter actually, you just love to observe things because they can tell what kind of person he is. Just like handwriting. Your gaze stop on the many water gallons on the floor which have a christian cross on it. “Well, I wanna know more about your job now.” You look at him while he is washing his face in the bathroom. “An excorsist.” He walks out of the bathroom with soaked face and hair. “You can leave. Most girls do. They're scared.” He says calmly, you can tell that he actually experienced that a lot. An exorcist? Interesting. “But I'm not.” You walk towards him before unbuttoning your shirt, revealing your black lace underwear. “You know... I've never met a guy like you before.” John raises his eyebrows as he keeps his gaze on your face. You’re concentrating on it. “How?” Now you slowly slide your shirt down to the floor. “A spell on the door frame, gallons with chritain cross sign on them and the fact that I've never been fucked by an exorcist.” John’s lips form into a smirk as he looks all over your beautiful body. You notice him that. “Tell me your name. So I can moan the right one...” you start to unbuttoned his white shirt, revealing his toned body. He looks hot in white shirt that is the first thought of him but when there’s nothing on him is just like he puts a spell on you. You're captivated by him. “It's John.” He looks at you while you're busy sliding his shirt down. The curiosity comes across his mind when he thinks about how a woman like you got married twice. You look too good to marry many times actually. He can feel that you’re good at things on bed or stuff like that. “Why did you marry twice?” You raise your eyebrows and answer his question. You don’t mind answering personal to strangers since this is only one night. "The first one was son of a bitch and the second one moaned the wrong name. I divorced him in the next day." He chuckled with your answer. Your sense of humor is something. "Yeah?" It is probably the reason why you asked his name earlier. Even your ex husbands are sucks, he knows that you have a lot of experience about s**x. Of course, husbands and wives thing. "You must have a lot of experience. Don’t embarrass yourself, show me." His hands move to your neck, and over to your hair before he pulls your hair gently so he can see your face clearly. He presses his lips against yours before you interrupt him. "No... I choose to be an innocent today.”

You break the kiss and crawl on to his bed. You play hard to get. It’s more fun when you act like this. Not too essay to read. “Unfortunately, she is possessed by a sinful demon.” John smirks before hovering on top of you and kissing your neck. He nibbles your soft skin gently but sometimes he nibbles harder so you can feel the pain. He loves it. Not too gentle and not too hard. “What kind of sin that is inside you now, beautiful?” He asks as he slides down your trousers away, revealing your black lace underwear. Obviously, you matched it before you going out. How sl**tty you are. “Such a wh**e” he murmurs as he goes down between your legs and spread it. “So I can perform exorcism on you correctly.” His fingers trace down on your folds gently and press it time to time on the spot while he is talking with you. You look at him through your thighs. He does the same, you both gaze locks on each other. He looks… hot that you just want him to eat all over your body right now. You already ready to give up on anything and just give him your body. “Lust” not in a second after hearing your answer, he kisses on your folds through the lace underwear once before using one finger to pull your underwear aside without taking it off. His tongue on your folds feels like heaven. He licks it gently as you moan his name sweetly. He likes hearing John… John… from your mouth. So sweet and delicate. “Did your ex husbands did this to you, huh?” You can’t even form a sentence, sadly. You just keep calling his name. He is naughty you know. After a while, you almost c**m but he doesn’t let you. When he notices that you are about to c**m, he stops. You feel like you’re gonna die, you need more, more of him. Never enough.

John doesn’t let you wait for too long. He stands up before taking his trousers off, showing his d**ck. He crawls and gets on top of you afterwards. Your face is red and sweaty, you’re ready for it. John gives you a passionate kiss once again, biting your upper lip, sucking it until it’s full of his saliva. You groan softly when he kisses you. You don’t talk back you just stay still like a good little girl. “You can’t even say a word.” He said as he grabbed your chin and turn your face to his. “Should I stop again or finally fuck you now. What do you want?” He asks firmly because you look so submissive, quiet and submit. “F**ck me, John...” Your doe eyes tell everything. You want his d**ck so bad, you want to feel it inside you. You want him to fuck you until you can’t even moan. “Not enough. Beg me.” He demanded. “John… please… fuck me. Fill me.” Your hand grabs his big arm as you beg him. He slowly gets up and pull your legs, so your body can get closer to him. He put his d**ck inside you easily because you’re already wet. It’s so obvious that your black lace underwear becomes soaked and sticky. He doesn’t take your underwear off though, he loves when there are still clothes or something on your body, not too naked because it’s boring. “Fuck-” he groaned. His hip moves slow at first and slowly gets faster. He doesn’t want it to be so roughy. He loves it to be soft first and then hard later. “Oh- John…” your back arches like a cat while your hands finding something to squeeze. F**ck with an exorcist feeling like you go to heaven but on earth. “So tight.” He said. It’s like you’re still a v**rgin but the fact is that you have been f**cked by many strangers. You’re the exact definition of a sl**t. He moves faster than before, the sound of your skin being hit by his is so loud. However, that doesn’t seem to stop him, he doesn’t care if anybody is going to hear it. “Don’t pull out, John- fuck!” You moan loudly. “I am not gonna pull out. You’re so good. Fuck…” he doesn’t let go of your legs while his eyes are still on you for the whole time, the way your face starts to be sweaty and red makes him feel like he wants to f**ck you harder. And c**m inside you as well. Soon, your body starts to arch and shake a little while he fills you inside with his c**m. “Fuck-” He doesn’t take it off immediately, he just lets it stay like this for a moment while one of his hand places on your belly and presses it a little. So you could feel his d**ck inside you better. “I can feel it- fuck yes…” you muttered as you looked up at the ceiling. He leans on you and force your face to look at him. “I told you. I’m not out of touch with women. I know how to do with them.” You look at him with doe tearing eyes. It feels so good that you want to cry. You’re totally a good girl beneath him. Never talk back for the whole activity even now. “How much do you want?” You answer immediately as if you already thought about it. “22$” John raises his eyebrows because he thought you were going to ask more than that. “22$?” You nod as he grabs his wallet while his d**ick is still inside you, jiggling inside your p**ssy. He opens his wallet before counting it and then hand it to you. You starts to count. You notice that it's more than that. “28$ for being a good girl.” he leans to give you a kiss on your forehead before pulling it out of you. It’s still soaking. His c**m slowly flowing out of your pretty p**ssy. You slowly get up and kiss his lip while he’s dressing up. The money that he paid you earlier is now in your pocket. You are ready to leave, you don’t wash your p**ssy though. You just wear your underwear anyway because you love how sticky his c**m feels on your folds. It makes you feel good for hours later after this.

He watches you as you’re about to leave. You stop at his dining table and place a tiny paper on it. “What’s that?” “Call me when you feel lonely on a rainy night.” You give him a playful smirk and he does the same. John walks towards you and stands right in front of you closely. “Or crawl back to me when you need money.” He teases. You didn’t say anything just give him a goodbye look in your eyes. You left.

Tonight , rain doesn’t make him feel lonely anymore, I guess.

END

Author's note: I hope it's not cringe guys. That's all I want. 😭

© satlun, 2024 : DO NOT PLAGIARISM OR ANY OTHER WAY OF REPHRASING

[conkers-thecosy]

Hullo! Just wanted to say a couple of things! First of all, thank you so, so much for all the lovely feedback on BTTW chapter 29! I don't think I ever had such a massive response to a chapter before, and while I expected a Reaction, this is far and away exceeding even my wildest dreams!

It's been so nice reading everyone's thoughts and excitement and various threats towards certain characters for their actions, and more than that, it's been wonderful to see folks talking to one another in the comments, too! That's such a rare thing, at least in my own experience, and honestly I just love feeling like the community of readers for this fic have all come together in such a way, it's just lovely!

I have a few asks here on tumblr regarding the new chapter, and I wanted to just say that I've truly enjoyed receiving those! I plan to sit and answer you guys tomorrow when I finish work for the day, so please bear with me! And thank you so much for all your kind words!

I'm also doing my very best to answer comments on ao3 in a timely manner, and I'm not too far behind right now, I don't think! I have a clear afternoon and I've just finished my writing session for the day, so I'm going to make a cup of tea and try and get most of you responded to! You should all know how very much your kindness and enthusiasm has meant to me - I've been struggling with motivation to write for a few weeks now and it's genuinely thrilled me to see how excited you guys have been!

Just as an aside, and as some general housekeeping, while the response to the new chapter has been largely positive, some folks are less pleased. To those people I would like to ask you to keep your comments respectful, please don't swear at me or call me names, and remember this is fanfiction, something I do for fun. You don't have to like it, and I'm frankly surprised anyone does at all, in fact, but please keep your tone polite.

I will also say that for the above mentioned reasons (I write fanfiction for fun, as a hobby) I will not be accepting criticism at this time. Not on my writing, not on the style, or the tropes, or anything. If you're not enjoying what I write, please do just leave. There's no part of me that wants to know what you don't like about it, honestly. I'm not a professional, and you shouldn't expect me to write or behave like one.

Anyway! That's everything, I think! Sorry for the grouch there, but it was important to say it, really!

Now it's time for tea, maybe a nap, and then answering the lovely, fun comments people have so kindly left! Did you know it's World Ice Cream Day?? Go get yourself some ice cream! Love you! 💛💛

[c-art00nish]

Oh no Kai died!

So. I saw a post here on tumblr (I didn't save it :c) saying "what if kai died trying to provide for nya and she took his place in the series" and smth took over me and I drew this

More info below

So I took the premise of him dying and Nya taking his place but that's it, bc the og post said Nya would inherit his elemental power, but since Morro kept his being dead I'd imagine Kai could too.

So this changes a lot of stuff, in this au Kai "discovers" his elemtal powers early on, but they just manifest as being inmune to burns and fire which helps since this kid works at a forge.

One day he goes deep in the town to buy food, but there is an accident and a house is set on fire, he was just about to go home and ignore all the chaos when he hear someone still inside, against his better judgement he went in and helped knowing his resistance to fire. He saves the person trapped inside.. but instead of a 'thanks' the whole townspeople just go 'A witch!' since he didn't suffer any burns.. And you can imagine what happens next

Either way Kai does not arrive home, when Nya goes to town to ask where he is she is told he ran away by lady and that she should leave aswell (Quick tangent. The lady told Nya that to avoid explaining that they basically unalived her brother and so Nya doesn't get the same fate)

She moves away and years down the line she meets a nice old man saying he is looking for something special.

Okay so here goes the timeline from Nya's side all up until season 5:

• Pilot:

She works in a small shop doing repairs and is very agrressive towards Wu since instead of asking where are her parents he asked if she had any siblings, so yeah open wound. Anyway there is no kidnapping motivator here, the skeletons steal the map and destroy the only home she had, she goes with Wu in order to get revenge. He sees she is lost and in need of family so he trains her, everything goes about the same, Jay's line changes to inmediatly be "Do you like blue?", and she proceeds to ignore him since letting people in her life hasn't been an option in a long time (also here Wu assumed she must have the fire element). They get the weapons and Garmadon still tricks Nya with Kai's voice, when she arrives she is so mad she attempts to lift the sword to attack Garmadon, but she can't, seeing she has no use to him he sends some skeletons to attack, but apparently out of nowhere the sword lifts itself up and lands in Nya's hands (she was fighting the skeletons at that). From there Wu arrives, leaves, Garmadon is free all that stuff.

Nya wants to leave since she feels she failed since she is not the master of fire, but everyone just doesn't care and want her to still be part of the family. And so we go on to rise of the serpentine

• Rise of the Snakes:

Okay so here everything goes about the same, Samurai X is still Nya but it isn't a secret (she does this bc still feels like she can't be a ninja). Jay's true potencial happens bc he is like "I can't show you who I am becaussse you're ssso cool! I mean you are Sssamurai X and a Ninja!" which to she responds that she likes him as he is and even if she didn't he shouldn't change for others.

And the fangblades stuff is bc if Nya can't be tha master of fire, and samurai x isn't a ninja (she wants to but feels useless without an element) she might as well be the green one right?

She still saves Loyd over the fangblade, creating a dome of water from seemingly nowhere, unlocking her true potential as the master of water. And everything carries on the same

• Legacy of the Green Ninja & Rebooted:

Everything is pretty much the same.

Nya loses another brother

• Tournament of Elements:

All the ninja are split up like in the series with Nya doing vigilante stuff instead of fighting in an illegal fight club. Loyd attemps to reunite his family and everything goes about the same.

Skylor and Nya definetly flirted much to Jay's dissmay

Nya "betrays" Loyd just like Kai did with Nya in the series except Garmadon is left alone with the snake pet and Loyd is taken to the ritual. When Nya lifts the staff she does go a little power crazy, not for wanting to be the green ninja but bc she wants this power to protect her family.

Anyways season ends. RIP Garmadon

• Possesion:

All goes the same for the first 5 minutes. Then after fighting a possesed Loyd a ghost with fire in his hands arrives to the Bounty, asking- no, begging, for the Ninja to help him

Nya recognizes him and the world stops

Gonna do the Kai timeline in other post with Morro art :)

[monochrome-cropcrown]

Hi if it's okay can I please ask for a Hades X Yuutsu reader

Where he falls in love with her

And spoils her with gifts but she declines them because she feels that she doesn't deserve them but in the end except them

She is an OC of mine you can find a lot of information about her at my posts here on Tumblr and

Sorry if this sounds weird and if you don't do these types of requests feel free to ignore this one and have a nice day or night

I specifically wrote on my bio that I sucked at writing fanfics.

But for the fun of it, why not 🤷🤷

It's been so long since I write anyway-

Hades X Kind Reader

Warnings?: None.

Content?: Fluff

°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*

He doesn't understand. You are the beloved of the Underworld King. One who are privileged with his attention and affection. It's only natural for you to accept his gifts as a sign of his undying love for you. Yet, why wouldn't you accept it? You deserve it.

"You don't have to, my Lord."

Yes he has to. You are the owner of his heart.

"Your company is enough for me."

No, it's not. He insists on giving you more. You deserve more.

"I don't deserve such presents, my Lord."

You do. Why wouldn't you see it?

"No thank you, my Lord."

No. Thank you for being his.

"My Lord."

Stop calling him 'my Lord'.

Excuses after excuses, you keep declining his presents. Your overwhelming modesty and kindness are what drove him insane. A drug that not many beings have, not many gods dare to take. However, he took it with no hesitation, which made him the lovestruck fool he is.

Maybe you prefer physical touches? He could see that during the first time his skin touches yours. Your hands immediately travelled to your face to hide that flush from him. Oh so adorable, he swore that he wanted to protect you from that moment on. If only you accepted it..

You deserve more than touches. If he could just ask Zeus to bring the stars to him, if he could just ask Poseidon for the prettiest of pearls, if he could just ask Adamas to bring the head of your enemies in a split second, he would have lay them all down just in front of your very feet. It's not enough to show it. It's not enough to show his adoration for you with just some little touches or small gifts. You deserve more.

Damn whoever made you this humble and kind. Most would've boost their trumpets when they receive gifts from him. But not you, his very own beloved. You decline his gifts, with that thought of you not deserving them drilled into your head. Drilled into your brain that you're just enough with little skin contact. No, you deserved a lot more.

His wish is for you to become selfish for once. He wishes you step whoever dare to breathe in front of you. He wishes for you to stop being kind for a moment. He wishes for you to take what you wish and throw what you hate. You can take his power and he wouldn't even object. You can destroy me and he wouldn't even flinch. You can rule Valhalla and Helheim, and he would be your personal stepping stone.

His wish is for you to realize that you deserve his everything.

..

....

.....

............

Maybe his gifts weren't to your liking?

Alright then. He just have to give you something that you can't refuse.

It's a perfect evening in Eden. With you in his hold, gladly following him to wherever he takes you without any complaints. Such a good girl/boy you are.

There sat under the apple trees, a large blanket with a basket full of your favorite sweets and sandwiches. Oh how his heart could burst by the sparkle in your eyes.

"My Lord... This is too much.."

This is only the gist of what he has in store.

"You shouldn't have to, my Lord.."

Yes, he has to. He loves you with every being in him.

"This is too grand for someone like me."

You are someone who deserves the grandest.

"My Lord.."

Call him Hades.

Hades. The God of Underworld who's heart is overwhelmed when he slides the golden ring into your finger. Your eyes were widen and you were about to protest, when he buries his lips into the comfort of yours.

Hades. The eldest of the Olympian brothers who couldn't be more glad as you finally accept his gift. With the smile and tears on your face, how he wished he was your tears. Born from your eyes, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.

Hades. For once, he didn't feel like a god. He feels like a happy man.

°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*

[darkbluekies]

advice for posting to tumblr? examples like best things to write/post for interactions, or tips for the stories themselves? I admire you 🤍please let me know… I’d love to post writing but I’m kind of nervous, especially for posting ocs

…. bcuz I feel like if I got 3 notes on it I might cry.

thank you 🐝

I was also nervous posting my first oneshot on this account — so nervous that I privated it for a few days before I decided that "What's the worst that could happen? If this doesn't work, then what have I actually lost?" I don't remember how much interaction my first oneshot got, but you shouldn't be too hard on yourself because it will take a little time to build up an audience that follow regularly.

But for advice themselves, I'd say, if you are unsure on what to write, take a look around some hastags in the genres that you are interested in writing for and see a bit what works well. If mafia works well in the hashtags, try to write your own mafia scenario and incorporate your style!

Also, what i didn't do but what i think i would do in case i could go back and change, is that post 3 or 4 fics relatively close after each other in the beginning, so that your readers can get a taste of what your style is and what you like to write. It's hard to decide that on only one piece of writing. And by posting regularly in the beginning shows that you are serious about your writing and that you will keep posting in the future, which also helps keeping readers because it reassures them that you won't just write once and disappear!

I hadn't really explored others yandere ocs before I started, I just wanted to write in a more fanfiction style but without the fanfiction part and it felt natural to make my own characters. I'd say go for it because you have much more freedom with scenarios and stories that way. My advice is to make the OCs quite different from each other so that "there's one for everyone" if that makes sense. Different characters brings different types of readers. Maybe make one police oc, one fisher, one teacher or such, give everyone different starters so that you can create different scenarios for them that only works for them.

Another advice that I think is important is the title, the blurb and the cover. "Never judge a book by its cover" is bullshit, you do judge the title, the blurb and the picture before you pick up a book. Play around with them!

My last advice would be to interact with the ones that come to your account. Be nice to anons and other creators that want to take part in your writing!

Good luck<33 i'm sure you'll do great<33

[innitmarvellous]

Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.

First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.

Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)

---

Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:

these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.

Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.

---

Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.

---

Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.

---

I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol

Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.

Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...

---

In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.

---

And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.

- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')

- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D

- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.

- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.

[scenetocause]

Prompt: Lando in lingerie because you put that idea into the world in climb up to your lips and I would very much love to read it ❤️

girloscar-verse drabble under the cut; fairly far into the future but before they get married (and getting very meta! because that's what tumblr is for lol)

Oscar says it's only fair she gets to pick stuff out for him, since he bought her some. And anyway, she arguably knows more about it than he does, which Lando reckons is actually by a very fine margin, if it's true at all but won't argue with her about it.

It's nice, the idea she's going to dress him up. He liked buying her gala dress, it's kind of the same thing.

She leaves the bag in the middle of their bed and it takes him a nervous ten minutes to actually open it, like he thinks some posh knickers might bite him. He's giggling by the time he tips the contents out onto the duvet, not because it's funny but because it kind of is? Here's a millionaire Formula 1 driver getting all anxious about what silky, lacy things his girlfriend wants to dress him in.

It's not that it's a surprise that Oscar's picked things he like because she does know him pretty horrifyingly well. But it's still nice that she has, makes him have to curl up on top of the duvet for a minute, lingerie scrumpled in his hands, to feel how good it is being loved by her.

It's a nice, soft, cream colour that he's got a few tracksuits in. The sort of comfy stuff he wears to snooze next to her on flights, nose buried in Oscar's shoulder. It's a good, clean colour that goes well with his skin and contrasts sharply to his tendency for dark grey boxers, something special but still somewhere in his comfort zone.

Getting his own clothes off feels a bit mad, having to stuff them in the laundry basket because he doesn't feel like a discarded hoodie and socks is the right vibe for when Oscar comes in and sees him trying to be sexy or whatever.

There's not just pants and whatever. He's not one hundred percent surprised by this because it's sort of an inside joke that he's always trying to trick Oscar into keeping her socks on in bed. Sorry if he wants to be reminded of her riding him every time she crosses one leg over the knee of the other in debrief or whatever.

He likes long socks anyway, for golf and that sort of thing so the fact these come up over his knees isn't that alien. They're a nice, soft material, like a very fluffy cotton or almost like the cashmere cardigans he steals off Oscar to bundle up on the couch in. Not really like stockings, grooved and topped with elastic almost like Oscar's beloved trainer socks but definitely a lot fancier, sitting low on his thighs.

The next thing he unravels is a soft top, not exactly a bra so it won't flag up the fact he's not got actual tits but gently cut so it cups his pecs, plunging between them. Lewis or Yuki would probably wear it to the paddock, maybe Lando'll give it a go for Monaco this year.

It's short, not covering his waist and abs and he's suddenly very aware there's nothing over his dick. Has to scrabble to pull on the knickers, which he'd sort of assumed would be boy shorts or something but instead it's a thong-thong, in the same, soft fabric as the top.

He squeaks involuntarily when it goes up his arse because what the fuck. Oscar wears this sort of thing quite often, these days, when they're not at work and she must be really committed to sending him insane because that's a wholly weird sensation, fabric brushing up against places normally only touched by Oscar.

Checking himself out in the mirror, though, he does look cute. There's some vaguely shocking tan lines around where his shorts were during their week on Pulau Joyo but they fit well enough with the pale lingerie. It's not too frilly, doesn't look like he's wearing something he shouldn't be - he could halfway imagine it being for a photoshoot or something, if Sophie would ever be likely to sign off on him having his arse out.

It takes him a minute to work up the courage to stick his head around the door, call out for her.

Oscar appears very quickly, like she'd been hovering nearby and a bit nervous herself about whether he'd like it. "Can I see?"

He has to laugh because, like, obviously. Lando didn't put this on so she can not fuck him in it but also Oscar looks so genuinely worried and excited. Like she thinks he's going to say no or call her taste in underwear shit or something and even though he is feeling quite shy about it, it makes him step around the door to comfort her.

Oscar almost immediately has him up against it, pressing Lando back on the solid wood and lifting his knee to run her hand up the left sock, feel where it stops and leaves his thigh feeling more naked than when he's totally undressed.

"Oh my god." She kisses him, gentle, lets Lando climb on her a bit with his arms over her shoulders. "You're so cute. So pretty. Fuck."

It's easy to tuck his face into Oscar's neck and breathe her skin in, the reassuring eucalyptus still clinging to her from last night. He'd thought she'd want to perv on him a bit or whatever, the way he does with her when she's wearing nice stuff but Oscar seems more intent on feeling him up, pressing her fingers to the tender place behind his balls where the thong's soft against his skin and tracing the seam of his arse, over where it's just hiding his hole.

"Oscar." He bites at her collarbone, where she's usually chewing him, just to tell her he loves her.

"Do you like it?" She pulls back enough to look him in the eye, tucking one of his curls back with her index finger as she does it, nail trailing gently down his face afterwards.

There hadn't been really time for him to figure that out, yet. But yes. "Yeah. You chose - you know, I can tell it's for me. And it's nice, the fabric."

"Comfy." She moves her hand further down his neck, rubbing over his chest to where the top's resting on his pecs. "I thought you wouldn't like - you know, anything with straps and wires."

Definitely not. That sounds like a deeply unpleasant sensory experience, fairly horrible even the times he was trying to take anything complicated off his ex.

Oscar kisses him again, sliding her hand up the leg he's got propped on her hip until she's cupping his dick, makes them both make a curious noise that he's still soft.

"It's not - I do think it's sexy? And you're - I love this. I don't know." Normally his problem is the opposite, that he's at half-chub pretty much any time he's in the same room as Oscar.

"It doesn't have to be a sex thing, though." She coaxes his other leg up, until she can get her hands underneath and pick him up, carry them over to the couch. "You can just look pretty, if you want?"

Maybe. It's hard to explain what's going on in his head and Oscar is normally the translator for that but she's not psychic, here.

"I think I just." He curls round, onto her, lets her do the koala thing. It feels safer, less wrongfooted by their mutual nervousness earlier, like this. "Can we watch some more of that show?"

Oscar makes a surprised noise, probably because it's her series and Lando just naps on her or fucks about on his phone during it. But that sounds nice, now. Just being them, in a slightly new configuration.

"True Detective? Sure." She gives him a squeeze before she gets up to find the remote, pottters around the apartment for a minute to get him his phone and both of them bottles of water.

When they're under the biggest, softest sofa blanket - nearly the same pale cream as Lando's underwear, a huge mistake for somewhere they eat half the time - he asks her to explain the plot to him again because nothing makes Oscar happier and he loves listening to her.

Half-asleep against her shoulder, he realises the story she's telling him stopped being about detectives awhile ago and is about a really hot boy whose girlfriend can't believe he's real.

He pokes Oscar in the chin. "Oi, I am actually listening. They should do a season from her perspective."

[batsplat]

what do you mean casey and valentino are “very different types of guys in some respects, but also painfully similar in others”, like what? does it mean they’re similar in terms of riding or something else? pls i need to know cus i’m obsessed with these two after reading your posts

okay I'm gonna be honest, I have no clue when or where I said that, and a cursory search didn't throw anything up because tumblr sucks. which means I don't know what the context was... but I did say something similar a few days ago, so I have been thinking about this stuff! I kinda talked about the similarities/differences between the pair of them in this post and will be retreading a lot of the same ground. and, well, I reckon I can have another semi-interesting stab at this topic - you can treat that other post as a tldr because this very much will not be. so here goes

first off, they're definitely not similar in riding style! casey's got a far 'wilder' style, throws the bike around a lot more - versus valentino who looks a lot more precise and controlled. I think I find them the most aesthetically pleasing rivalry match-up when fighting on-track... it's particularly accessible to the layperson imo. if you watch them in the heyday of their rivalry, you have that easily visible contrast between the roaring ducati and the nimble yamaha, the way casey is bullying the bike through every corner, how valentino keeps darting alongside through the bends while slipping back on the straights... that was obviously a very poor generation of bikes in terms of producing good racing with any regularity, but on the odd occasion when we did get a fight between them, it really delivered. the cliché about them is that casey was the talented one and valentino was the smart one, which manages to be nicely insulting to both of them (unsurprisingly, you get the sense neither of them was massively into this as a framing). but you do need a striking contrast for a good rivalry - and there really was something to this raw potential that felt very nearly limitless, belonging to this young rider who only ever just remained in control of it, always on the limit... versus the cool and calculating established master of the sport, far more considered both on and off the bike, using all his tools and tricks in an attempt to trip up his new foe. the key thing about casey's emergence is that it was a bit of a shock. obviously, with the benefit of hindsight, it didn't really come out of nowhere - but when analysing their rivalry it's important to keep in mind that casey was not supposed to be the primary challenger to the throne. casey comes out of nowhere to defeat valentino, and then valentino has to plot and scheme to get him back. it works! it's compelling! 2007 to 2008 forms a very engaging arc... after that it all tapers off for various reasons but you kinda need to enjoy what you get, plus even the tapering off is pretty interesting

and I'm somewhat preempting the laguna 2008 long post still sitting in my drafts here, but this post is more vibes-based so it shouldn't overlap too badly. that race is important for all these different reasons, as a significant turning point in the season and the rivalry and the relationship between the pair of them. for valentino, it was a successful gamble - one that he felt he had to take in order to reassert himself, to finally gain an edge over his most tenacious rival. it was a culmination, in a way, of this journey of casey repeatedly surprising him, repeatedly failing to bend to the weight of valentino's expectations... until valentino dispensed with the old playbook and figured out a way of surprising casey in turn. it's the shock of what happened at laguna and the feelings that are associated with that loss that makes it such a defining moment for casey. yes, it was a deeply uncomfortable race for him given the viciousness of the riding on display, but his emotional response to that is a little more complicated than either fear for his own safety or righteous indignation at valentino's behaviour. the pre-race expectations, valentino getting the better of him during the race, the comically slow, almost feeble crash that ended casey's victory hopes, valentino's post-race triumphalism... what valentino did was make a spectacle out of casey's humiliation. and after all that, it is casey who has to apologise to valentino, playing contrite about his post-race comments when they reconvene after what must have been a painful summer break... it's humiliating! this is humiliating

ignore the points standings for a moment (where casey was 20 points down to valentino) - to the best of my knowledge, paddock consensus was treating casey as a firm title favourite before that race. this is how much of a mark casey's 2007 dominance had left on the collective consciousness of the paddock... early season ducati problems be damned: once he starts winning, he just doesn't stop. even in the immediate aftermath of the race, valentino was being discussed by a lot of the commentary at best as a joint favourite for the title. the ins and outs of how casey's title campaign fell apart are a topic for another day, but it's always crucial to reinsert some context when we're discussing that rivalry and remember just how scary casey's reputation had become by this point. and it's this story that's been developed through some particularly memorable races between the pair of them... qatar 2007, obviously, casey's first win on his first ride with ducati... catalunya 2007, arguably still casey's best win, beating valentino wheel-to-wheel at the circuit where valentino beat everyone else in similar fashion before and since (cf 2004, 2005, 2009, 2016)... casey comes into the championship and doesn't just beat the man who seemed unbeatable on sheer merit, but also beats him on valentino's turf - winning the precise type of significant make-or-break duel that valentino so excels at. and then, one year later, valentino rocks up at a track where everyone expects casey to win, everyone expects it until the very second the race starts... and he wins, doing so by reversing his usual tactics and taking a new approach to cracking the casey puzzle. it's the element of surprise, the shock of it, that allow these isolated performances in their (all too rare) duels to impose a new reality on the championship overnight. and it has the ability to leave the loser reeling, to need time to figure out how to go about their racing from this point forwards. they are forced to regroup, to reassess, to change their ways

now, with that in mind, we can actually start getting into the similarities between the pair of them, aka what the ask was actually about. exciting. let's start here: one thing that's important to remember about laguna 2008 is that it does not immediately turn it into an open feud overnight. casey apologised for what he had said after laguna at the next race. he said to the press he had overreacted, and he apologised directly to valentino:

(for more on casey/vale versus toni elias, see here)

valentino of course accepted this apology (more on this in a moment), happy to call it bygones. these photos are from the brno press conference, almost a month after laguna:

listen. it's just a few photos. god knows what's going on here. but it's casey who is having to reach out to valentino, to make an effort to be friendly to him, to smooth things over. I imagine his experiences in the years to come hardened his initial stance on the race, but obviously it's fair to say that this apology was not 100% sincere. unless casey has done a complete one eighty since then, he's made it repeatedly clear that he did lose respect for valentino, that he did find his riding unacceptable, that he does think worse of valentino as a result. and if there's anything that could radicalise him on that front, surely it's the experience of having to grovel, of having to play nice so that the gracious valentino can pardon him - who casey firmly believes was in the wrong... surely, that has to be galling. it's infuriating. it's embarrassing, especially as the championship continues to slip from his grasp in a manner that so perfectly contributes to the murmurings valentino may have broken casey too. quite frankly, it's humiliating

which makes it notable that for all intents and purposes... they get on fine after this, when they're interacting face-to-face at least. I did a post on this for a target audience of me with like a hundred something photos from 2007-09 - and for all the talk of the relationship deteriorating after laguna... well, I reckon a lot of this is after-the-fact narrativisation of their rivalry, rather than an accurate reflection of what the vibes between them were at any given point. they can still laugh together after laguna! isn't that lovely! now, from 2010 onwards, the relationship does get significantly worse - even if it never quite reaches the same depths of interpersonal coldness that basically every other valentino feud got to. there's a lot more vitriol to what they say about each other, there's just a higher quantity of increasingly petty spats between the two of them, and there's also clearly less interest in small talk on both sides. to be clear, it's not that casey was never critical of valentino from 2008 to 2009, far from it... it's just that those were generally isolated incidents, relatively mild criticism or interviews where you go 'ooh boy he was in a bad mood that day' at the whole thing, rather than the constant mutual jibes of 2010-12. there's not really a clear instigating party for the feud getting worse in 2010, also not a single incident you can point to. I am going to make an educated guess about the timeline here, but to be clear this is only a guess - we really don't have access to the full story. I reckon it was a few comments casey made during valentino's leg break that signalled the beginning of the end, stuff like this:

It seems there is only one positive in Rossi’s absence – noted by Stoner during the British GP weekend. “The fans are more polite,” said the 2007 champ who was booed by British fans following his Donington MotoGP wins in 2007 and 2008. “When Valentino is here, the fans love him so much that they hate all the other riders. The fans that are here now are here to enjoy the racing.”

just to give you an idea of the vibes. without passing judgement on the merits of casey's observation (delivered on a weekend he was generally rather ill-tempered), I can't imagine most competitors would take particularly kindly to opponents finding the bright side of their broken leg-induced absence. then valentino returns, they have that fun fight at the sachsenring, and casey is complaining about how much fuss is being made about valentino's hasty return from injury. at which point valentino reaches into the back drawer and makes a snide remark about how if casey had been on the receiving end of casey's riding at the sachsenring, then going by laguna casey would have endlessly complained about that - but of course valentino knows what real racing is, so he would never complain. which is a delightfully roundabout way of criticising someone's riding, you have to say. and later that year, valentino is quizzed about how both casey and jorge suddenly seemed so much more willing to openly express their enmity in valentino's absence (x)

so you had these two relationships concurrently deteriorating, though valentino was rather more proactive on the jorge side of the equation. so, somewhat oddly, a relationship that seemed to be 'cordial' for the better part of two years after the actual turning point of that rivalry... becomes a lot more ugly during a time period in which the two of them are barely competing on-track. valentino will of course have played his part in that, clearly feeling extra defensive and combative and frustrated (though probably more so in jorge's direction than casey's) in what was a rough, rough season - and when that dynamic between them started getting worse, he obviously made sure to add plenty more fuel to the flames. but to me, the timing feels a little more casey-dependent. after all, it is casey who is holding a grudge over laguna 2008. valentino will of course not have forgotten casey's comments after the race... but at this stage, it's just not a rivalry he has all that much emotional investment in, beyond wanting to beat a tough opponent. unlike with sete or with marc, casey does not have a preexisting friendship with valentino he can betray. it's like valentino said in his autobiography - he could only hate someone who had been a friend. casey is not that person. whereas valentino obviously represents something a lot more complicated, more emotionally thorny to casey... one man who is so thoroughly intertwined with his disillusionment with the entire sport. casey cares about this rivalry - and it's not just because he wants to beat valentino. and then you have the 2009 illness, the frustrations of the struggling 2010 ducati, and what you get is a casey who is increasingly willing to speak his mind... who has secured his contract with honda, whose greatest rival is currently weakened. and increasingly casey isn't playing nice towards valentino, because he's decided it isn't worth it. casey's willing to have a go at him, to be a bit more rude, to actually vent some of the anger within. valentino responds. it gets nasty from there

so... let's take stock for a moment here. there's an inciting incident in a race that causes immediate tension between two riders. both parties are willing to publicly move on from it, but it becomes increasingly clear that one rider is still holding a grudge. later, tensions escalate to the point of boiling over - and we eventually come to learn that the injured party had at no point come close to moving on, for all the playacting and friendliness in the press. does this not strike anyone else as... a little bit valentino-esque? it doesn't mean casey was being dishonest after laguna (though the apology was to some extent, yes) - and his feelings about that race did probably grow more extreme when he felt he was in a position where he could allow himself to actually be angry. there's obviously perfectly good reasons why casey knew making a public enemy of valentino rossi in 2008 would be an extremely uncomfortable state of affairs... but, well, he still had a choice! and the choice he made wasn't to openly declare his enmity, nor was it to forgive and move on. it was to file away the grievance, cling onto it for however long it took, before letting fly to his resentment and having it out repeatedly with his enemy when the time felt right. it's the delayed response to the whole thing that just compels me, because valentino does have a track record of a similar approach. the little slights from 2003, mugello and then assen and other murmurings in 2004, sete's flirtations with being a sore loser... it's all tucked away, barely acknowledged at all by valentino, until the exact moment where he decides he's had enough. 2013, 2014, 2015, this gradual accumulation of offences on marc's part... and then suddenly it spills over in dramatic fashion. a rapprochement for the better part of two years before another incident in 2018 triggers a response of unrestrained vitriol. now, look, you can debate about the comparisons being drawn here between the different rivalries, argue that not all of these grievances are equally legitimate, that likewise not all of the responses are equally proportionate to the crime - but let's talk psychology, not morality. because you do have the same underlying impulses at play here: an impressive ability to remember both major and minor offences paired with a refusal to move past them, a willingness to not openly engage in hostilities until the time is right, how the initial grievance can become ever more pivotal in the mind of the aggrieved. a largely retroactive emphasis on the moment in which the 'true' moral character of the opposition was revealed to the aggrieved party. some kind of perception of trickery, of deception, of an enemy who had not been honest about their true nature. all coming together in a grudge they will never entirely let go of

there's some more pieces of supplementary evidence you can quickly chuck in here, like casey's propensity for remembering slights for years and years after the fact (x)

and casey wasn't even right about it lol. over half a decade later at this point and casey's got it in for the man over a misremembered slight

then here we've got jorge drawing attention to valentino's ability to bide his time and attack from a position of strength back in 2009 (x)

almost like he prefers to bite his opponents when they're already bleeding idk

so neither valentino nor casey are particularly big believers in the 'forgive and forget' maxim. I'm sure I've said something like this before, but one of the charming things about this rivalry to me is that valentino gets to be on the receiving end of that kind of delayed retribution. broadly speaking, I do buy that he accepted casey's apology at the time of brno 2008 - there's no real reason for him not to, and there's also no real reason to believe he had any particular ill will towards casey beyond 'wanting to beat him in a motorcycling contest'. he said "sincerely I am not angry with him", and whomst am I to doubt him when he tells us it's sincere, right. now of course, there's a continual dissonance between the pair of them - because what valentino considers acceptable methods to win a motorcycling contest diverges pretty strongly from casey's standards. this is true both on and off the track - and the bit that casey always struggled with was he didn't understand a) how anyone could behave like valentino did, and b) how anyone could behave like valentino did without despising their target. valentino quite deliberately cultivated a fairly friendly but impersonal relationship with casey on his end, one that he was not particularly emotionally invested in during good times and ill (more of my thoughts on valentino's side of the equation in the context of his approach to rivalries more broadly here). valentino is capable of both these intensely personal rivalries where each offence is deeply felt, as well as these far colder purely sports-based rivalries where he is far more willing to dish it out and take it and move on. he also unsurprisingly enjoys the latter a lot more, feeling they are in some way more 'honest' and revelling in the nastiness in a manner he can't do in quite the same manner when his own pesky emotions are getting in the way. for all that casey was an awfully tricky opponent, this was a rivalry valentino took genuine pleasure in when they were competing for titles. it's a bit of a comfort zone rivalry for valentino, in a way. valentino has always needed enemies to motivate themselves - and casey presented such a unique challenge. beating that kind of talent made each victory all the more rewarding

“The rivalry with Casey was great because he was one of the greatest talents ever in MotoGP. Without a doubt, he was one of my strongest rivals.”

but for casey, of course, valentino's attacks were a hell of a lot more significant than just a bit of fun and games - it was all a lot more personal. he never forgot the humiliation he suffered at valentino's hands, whether directly or indirectly at the hands of the valentino-worshipping media and fanbase, whether on or off the track. there's a decent chance casey remembers every single negative thing valentino has ever said about him. if anything, he's actually more of an extremist on this metric than valentino is, because valentino's most longest-standing grudges rely on some kind of sense of betrayed interpersonal bond. and on casey's side there's definitely an element of this with valentino - he felt valentino got colder towards him once they became rivals, remember - but he really doesn't need all too many preconditions for his grudges. if you wrong him, he remembers, he resents, and he's unlikely to forgive

so, let's pick up on something else jorge said in the excerpt above: how he felt like he had something to learn from valentino in terms of attacking from a position of strength rather than weakness. for my money, jorge never got particularly far in developing this particular skill - just a bit too temperamental and impulsive to be able to help himself when he feels wronged. but it's this idea of learning from valentino, which sometimes feels like a bit of a portent of doom where his rivalries are concerned (remember how marc after argentina 2015 was going on about how you could always learn something from valentino) but casey in particular has talked about a lot. I'll throw in a relevant mind map screenshot again (an ever so slightly zoomed out version of the one I already included here, which also includes a few more screenshots of said mind map):

again, sort of preempting the Actual Laguna Post here - but this is kinda notable, yeah? this idea of learning from valentino is a real preoccupation! casey's belief that he has to be more selfish, that if others don't respect them he will do likewise, that he had to change his mindset... laguna did leave him reeling. he's got a very mind map-friendly way of expressing himself because he does end up making these broad strokes associations between, say, his alienation from europe, his frustrations with how the media portrayed him as weak, his thoughts on riding standards - and then they all end up being linked back to his rivalry with valentino and this single race in 2008. he talks about learning from valentino way back in 2009 and he still talks about it in 2022... this 'learning' exists along two dimensions, one on-track and one off-track. the off-track dimension isn't dissimilar to what jorge was talking about: how valentino effectively uses the media. there were times at which casey, at his most sullen towards the media, assumed that whatever he said or did, they would not take his side. and of course, he wasn't always doing himself any favours when interacting with the rest of the paddock, the media, the fans - something which valentino was happy enough to point out. here's one of my all-time favourite nuggets about the pair of them that really gets to the heart of their dynamic, from broadbent's 'ring of fire' about donington 2008 (three races before laguna):

Casey Stoner had won the British Grand Prix but had been booed. It was an ugly response from a minority of the British crowd and Stoner had, most definitely, been spitting blood afterwards. 'I had it last year when I won as well,' he snapped. 'On my slowing-down lap I was getting loads of abuse. I mean, what do people want? Are they here to even watch bike racing or are they here to abuse people?' I sipped my espresso and Rossi considered his response to the issue. 'It was very strange, for sure, but I think the relationship between the English and the Australians is not great, like the Italians and the French, yes? The people were unhappy because Casey always says, "This track is shit, this place is shit, the weather is shit." They weren't happy for that reason.'

just wonderfully in character from both parties. now, point of order: valentino's considerable popularity in the uk undoubtedly heavily contributed to casey's treatment at the hands of the british fans. if some stories are to be believed, this is something valentino quite deliberately encouraged - and he certainly wasn't all that interested in shutting it down. his line attributing casey's lack of popularity in britain to ancient hatreds is very funny, yes, but also a pretty obvious way of sidestepping any accountability. all that being said. "this track is shit, this place is shit, the weather is shit" does all sound extremely casey - and I have zero problem believing both that this is stuff casey said and that the british fans didn't take particularly kindly to this rhetoric. in similar fashion, while casey's reputation for being a handful to work with was probably harsh and he does obliquely imply valentino was badmouthing him within yamaha (very plausible but it's far from clear cut), it is also undoubtedly true he was sometimes a handful to work with. he did get his temper increasingly under control as he grew up - but there's a little more to how his handling of the media changed over time than just growing up, of course. just like laguna made him change his approach to riding, being on the receiving end of the sheer weight of valentino's power and influence in the sport forced casey to reconsider how to approach his public relations. he's conveniently explicit in discussing this, saying he cozied up to the media so they would "stop writing so much shit" about him. in an ideal world, of course, casey does not want to concern himself with such matters. he frequently struggled to understand why the more entertainment-focused elements of the sport was even necessary at all, seeing them as a distraction, as detracting from the purity of the racing, as something that no real fan would be interested in. but he learned to play that game anyway

on several occasions, casey has emphasised how he is not the type to get obsessed with his rivals, that he does not care who he is beating, that he doesn't understand why anyone would play mind games and make an enemy out of the opposition (more on this in a moment). unfortunately, given he had become the valentino rossi's rival, he was given little choice but to care... or, let's rephrase. while casey had displayed plenty of contempt for the parts of the job that require communicating with the public, he has always hated being misunderstood - he does care how people perceive him, he wants it to be accurate to how he sees himself. and given he was operating at an automatic disadvantage in dealing with such a popular and accomplished communicator, something was going to have to give. casey acknowledges it himself... there's always something a tad loaded in how casey talks about learning from valentino (including in the tweet commemorating his retirement!), because casey would prefer to live in a world where he didn't have to learn these lessons. he would have preferred not to learn what people were capable of, how to be more selfish, how to engage with the media circus. he just wanted to ride

still, valentino was certainly a capable teacher. "very savvy, and very clever, very cunning" as casey describes him, again with explicit reference not just to the on-track dimension but also what happens off the track, with the media. all three of casey, jorge and marc are in differing ways and to differing extents students of valentino's both on and off the track. all three of them have talked about learning from valentino. all three of them have shown obvious interest in how valentino conducts himself both on and off the track. for all of casey's respect and admiration for valentino before the commencement of their rivalry, however, when compared to the other two casey was markedly less interested in learning about all aspects of valentino's game. he wasn't interested in becoming the next valentino rossi, after all. casey is forced to pay attention to how valentino handles the media, is forced to learn from it and use those lessons to his own ends - which means this learning process only really started once they were already rivals. we can track casey's development when it comes to this in real time... because casey has become a far more effective communicator over the years, learning how to come across as opinionated rather than whiny and sell his side of the story

there's an obvious disparity to how much both parties have discussed the rivalry since the end of 2012, which to some extent is just a result of how one of them was still competing and cooking up new feuds and the other one wasn't, as well as the centrality of the rivalry to their respective careers. still, there is something intriguing to how little valentino has generally been interested in relitigating his old feuds once they were no longer relevant to his career. now, there's a very obvious exception to this rule, but even that goes to show that there's actually some quite specific circumstances required for valentino to be so wholly unwilling to publicly move on. first and foremost, it takes real interpersonal hurt on valentino's side... there's a world in which valentino responds to casey's numerous criticisms of him post-2012, maybe reacting to some of the jibes on instagram jorge lorenzo-style. beyond some mildly catty comments in 2013, valentino has mostly limited himself to blandly complimentary remarks about casey and their rivalry. by contrast, of course casey was hurt by valentino on a personal level. he's also aware that he's going to have to do his own pr here - if he wants his story out there, he's going to have to be proactive in telling it. he cannot rely on the public's unwavering affections in the way valentino can. still, casey made a choice to do that pr; in his shoes, valentino might well have done the same thing. because at the end of the day, casey does care what people think and is willing to use the enemy's weapons to change hearts and minds. he doesn't want to be written off as weak or broken or a whiner. he wants to be remembered for the times he stood up to valentino, not when he supposedly folded to him. maybe, just maybe, he wants valentino to get a taste of his own medicine

and yes, at this point we do need to bring in casey's most obvious act of revenge against valentino. it was valentino who gave him the opening to do so, valentino who infuriated casey in the moment, but casey jumped at the chance with relish. in early 2011, casey could already be satisfied with his immediate success with honda - as well as relish in his arch rival's struggles on a bike that casey had been accused of not getting the most out of for all of 2010. then, in the wet of jerez, valentino spotted an opportunity to get a good result on a poor bike and chased down the leaders, with casey running in second. he made an ill-fated attempt at an overtake that ended with both of them going down. the incident and what followed had all the ingredients to flick as many casey triggers as possible: lack of suitable caution from his opponent, injustice in treatment by the stewards, the performative nature of the apology, and valentino's failure to remove his helmet that was interpreted as a lack of respect and sincerity. there were a few other underlying points of contention here, like casey linking this incident to his feelings towards european values (or lack thereof) more broadly - a less honest people, one hears. then there is also casey enquiring after the shoulder, something valentino later picked up on as an odd focus on casey's part (cf too casey's response to valentino's comeback from the broken leg). I've discussed this elsewhere, but at a guess casey was internally comparing how he and valentino were treated in their respective health-related absences in 2009 and 2010. the suspicion he had gotten versus the sympathy and adulation that accompanied valentino's heroic return. with the shoulder, you'd imagine casey was particularly sensitive to the suggestion that valentino was hampered in his riding by his injury - again, compared to how poorly casey's struggles with his mystery illness had been received. now, obviously the shoulder was hampering valentino (and he later admitted he had been afraid it could be career ending), but that isn't really the point, is it? what casey is objecting to are the double standards. throughout casey's career, valentino provides the most obvious lightning rod for his frustrations, and it's not hard to understand why

then there's the line itself, ambition outweighing talent and all that. if I had to choose a single word to describe the experience of having to go and apologise to your rival (who you severely dislike) for what was clearly your error in what is already proving to be a rough and often painful stretch of your career, only to be met with a sarcastic smile and a horrendously dismissive line, I suppose I'd have to call that 'humiliating'. given casey has later clarified he believes the line describes valentino's entire career, it is quite a strong reaction for what is at the end of the day still a racing incident in tricky conditions. and... well, for all that the rivalry had essentially shifted to being primarily off-track by this point, given the pair of them were not fighting it out for titles any longer, it was still in some ways playing out in a similar manner. once again, casey has managed to surprise valentino. back in the day, he took on valentino in vale's kingdom of extended wheel-to-wheel combat, and he won. then, valentino took on casey in his domain at laguna seca, and he won. see too casey's autobiography when discussing the race: "we had a lot of great over the years but there were occasions where he would try different tactics that surprised me. laguna seca was one of the occasions where he had to get a result." the element of surprise, again and again. on-track, off-track, how they fight and how they are perceived... take even, for instance, the british fans: casey, who had family in britain, is a native english speaker, moved there initially from australia as a teenager and saw the place as a second home, would have expected the place to love him back like a second home. he certainly wouldn't have expected to be despised by the fans - and it is this thwarted sense of expectation, of vulnerability based on that childhood connection, that ensured casey has more enmity towards the british fans than towards any other nationality (including the italians)

and now, casey is in front of valentino's cameras, playing valentino's game. and he wins. it doesn't matter that the inciting incident itself was far from the worst you'll ever see, it doesn't matter if casey's comment was a proportionate response or not. because here, casey was given an opportunity to get some payback. to dish out some humiliation of his own, from a position of strength. and the thing is, right, nobody would remember this incident if casey had not played into the show of it all. it's not actually the seriousness of valentino's misstep that makes the difference here... because if it was then everyone would still be talking about motegi 2005, surely a worse misstep from valentino - except marco melandri made the mistake of not having a pithy line up his sleeve while valentino was attempting to not faint at all the blood mid-apology. normally, jerez 2011 just isn't the kind of incident anyone remembers. it quite literally was not that serious. but casey understood he could make it that serious... and he's followed through on the promise of the moment by bringing it up again and again and again in the years to come. he has deliberately ensured it will remain a part of the legacy of that rivalry. because it is deliberate, isn't it - if casey is so eager to tell us how much he learned from valentino, then perhaps we should take him at his word, shouldn't we? it's a valentino-esque level of attention paid to the narrativisation of the rivalry - in this case, a level of attention that considerably outstrips the effort valentino has put into crafting his own narrative. but that really is first and foremost a reflection of the emotional stakes of the rivalry for the both of them respectively... if valentino had felt like casey had, he likely would have done much like casey did

so, let's circle back to the idea that casey does not get obsessed with his rivals. as casey puts it in his autobiography: "of course I had looked up to [valentino] as a rider for many years myself but to be honest there was no extra value in beating him as far as I was concerned. it didn't matter to me who finished second as long as I finished first and I never became obsessed with my rivals in a way that some riders do". now, look, 'never' is a big word. 'obsession' is also a big word, so let's not focus on whether casey gets obsessed with his rivals per se - his claim in the autobiography is more broadly that he did not motivate himself through the identity of his rivals, that he didn't care who he was beating. that he had this 'pure' desire to win that was entirely disconnected from his competitors. and to some extent, this notion holds up: clearly, casey would generally have been at his happiest if he had had the track to himself. a few years ago, he said he missed qualifying but not racing. he enjoys pushing himself, enjoys testing himself, is perfectionist in a way that is not dependent on his competition and tended to be overly critical of himself even after his victories. so it's the truth... but it's not the whole truth, is it now? it's not just a drive for perfection that motivates casey. sometimes, he has a point to prove

let's bring in one of my all time favourite casey clips, when wee eighteen year old casey was reacting to his very first grand prix victory. here are his initial thoughts on how happy he is achieve this milestone:

"Very good feeling, you know - to beat the Spanish at their home circuit is very good - especially Hector, who is sponsored by the circuit."

quick bit of context: hector barbera finished third behind both casey and german steve jenkner, a full 1.1s off the race victory. so. casey. my man. what exactly is it about beating the spanish at home that is particularly satisfying? when you say "especially hector", it does almost sound like not all rivals are equally enjoyable to beat. a cynical soul might say that it sounds almost like we're engaging in a teensy bit of schadenfreude here, during the very first win no less. start as you intend to go on, right?

to fully explain why casey might have found besting the spaniards so satisfying is very much a topic for another post, but for now let's just say that it does make sense he would feel this way. we should also acknowledge the more generous explanation here - that a rider from spain might be more familiar with the track, especially if he is sponsored by the circuit. while this is not an explanation I buy, it does not change the fact that obviously, to casey, beating certain opponents did carry some "extra value" with it. he's human! it happens! it's telling that this is pretty much the first thing that comes out of his mouth after the win... we've already established that casey can very much hold a grudge; the next step is to talk about how casey does like to use spite to motivate himself. another obvious example is his repeated rejection at the hands of yamaha (and honda) - when he went to ducati, he wanted to show the other manufacturers that they had been wrong in not choosing him. from his autobiography: he wanted 'nothing more' than to "put every factory honda and every factory yamaha behind me just once and make them sorry that they had passed me up". valentino likes to make his fights personal - and so, to some extent, does casey. all these deeply felt grievances resulting from how he was treated throughout his racing career, throughout his life... if he can use them to fuel himself, why shouldn't he? (for a more left field discussion of casey's use of negative emotion to fuel himself, see here)

and then, of course, there's valentino. you have casey's reaction during the race itself at laguna 2008, intensely personal as it became clear that valentino's desire to beat casey was matched only by casey's desire not to lose to valentino. the determination demonstrated at sachsenring 2010, where casey was willing to do whatever it took to ensure valentino would not take a podium immediately upon his return. his new stance that he would only show on-track respect to the riders who deserve it. his promise that another laguna 2008 would not occur, otherwise valentino would get it back "tenfold". (history's top ten tragedies we never got to see what that would have looked like.) the obvious, undisguised schadenfreude at valentino's struggles on a ducati. casey does like a bit of schadenfreude, or maybe just grim satisfaction - one of the more striking examples is when he devotes a fair number of words to jorge in early 2008 in his autobiography, detailing how arrogant jorge had been towards casey until he *checks notes* started to repeatedly smash up his body and was forcibly brought back down to earth. (also a topic for another post, darkly funny episode when you really dig into it - but this post does include most of the relevant autobiography excerpts.) valentino might be more proactive in acquiring feuds for himself, but casey has such a litany of resentments and grievances at his disposal that he always has a little bit of spite to draw on. and when he's on top, when he sees those who have wronged him suffer, then he can enjoy himself like the best of them

the other element of casey's rhetoric that's worth briefly acknowledging is his belief that 'mind games' are something counterproductive - because why would you make enemies who will then in turn be more motivated to beat you? marc, in this sense, has become quite a useful rhetorical prop to allow casey to argue that valentino made a mistake by making so many enemies. I talked this a little more here and really don't want to spent too long on it in this post - but the idea that valentino suffered any material consequences from making an enemy out of casey just doesn't stand up to any scrutiny. the rivalry ended up becoming quite unpleasant for valentino, but by the time their relationship had truly deteriorated they were no longer meaningfully competing on-track. it would have been interesting to see how their on-track rivalry plays out with the vibes between them so abysmal, so it is a bit of a shame... though maybe they never would have let it get that bad if they had still been competing, with valentino less frustrated and casey not in an equivalent position of strength. as to the disavowal of 'mind games' as a legitimate tactic and the idea that it's a sign of weakness to play them... linked to the idea that certain victories achieved in certain ways become less meaningful, less well deserved than if competitors had gone about things 'honestly'. let's quickly bring in this parallel I drew in this... idk, web weave, compilation, whatever:

now, call me a cynic, but personally I feel like what casey is describing here would in common parlance constitute a 'mind game'. expectation management is basically mind games 101, though it gets upgraded to a 201 if you're being deliberately deceptive about it. this isn't supposed to be a gotcha, not least because casey is capable of a little nuance here - e.g. on one occasion, he adds the revealing caveat that he takes issue with "trying to get into someone's head and doing it in the wrong way". the problem, as he sees it, is giving them a reason to disrespect you, to hate you. a problem valentino is not unaware of - it's also worth pointing out that the single biggest reason casey grew to hate valentino was an on-track battle that swung a championship fight, and from valentino's perspective was unavoidable. casey's critique of valentino's intimidation tactics does have to be accompanied with the context that beating opponents in direct wheel-to-wheel combat was a major part of what made valentino so good, a far more significant element of his game than it was for any other alien. it's just a style of racing that happens to gel with valentino's more 'psychological' approach to competing in general, where as he describes it he does some off-track 'work' to complement the combative on-track process by which he went about achieving a hefty bulk of his victories (topic for another post, but my sense is that valentino wasn't making an enemy out of casey quite as intentionally as casey thought he was)

anyhow, it's part of why the concept of 'mind games' is really only of limited use (see here). nobody is actually going to be opposed to everything that could be seen as playing mind games. while to some extent casey really would have preferred to exist in a universe where his competitors were entirely irrelevant to him and he could just beat the clock on an empty track, part of his process of maturing as a rider and as a person was about being a little more conscientious about the people around him - both in the positive sense of 'no longer subjecting his team to tantrums' and in the... uh, neutral sense of 'paying more attention to his opponents' psychology'. he describes in his autobiography how he'd never felt entirely comfortable around valentino, knew how to read other riders' body language and felt disquieted by the moves valentino was willing to pull, believed him and valentino were on a different "wavelength" (not a bad way of describing their dynamic in general, you'd have to say). after laguna, he speaks of matching his level of respect to the respect shown by the opponent. he learns to adjust his levels of on-track aggression, just as he is willing to mislead his rivals, at least a little. just as he is willing to engage in wars by proxy in the press with an enemy, if it comes to it. the sport isn't just about riding on a track on one's own, unfortunately for casey, but he too could play the game if need be

speaking of playing games, it's worth examining how the pair of them were quite so adept at pissing each other off in the latter years of the rivalry. my pet theory here is that valentino and casey have just enough trigger points in common, just enough overlap in their sensitivities and the criticisms they most loathed to receive, that they ended up perfectly suited to getting under each other's skins. for all his wariness towards the media and initial struggles in expressing himself, there's an argument to be made that casey was the only valentino rival who managed to get to him with his actual words. biaggi certainly never managed to. jorge took a bunch of swings at it, a keen student in the art of mind games - but there's not all that much indication any of it ever landed on valentino's end, who mainly just seemed pissed off by the general fact of jorge's existence. the one exception you could make is perhaps misano 2016, where jorge criticises a pass by valentino during the race that nobody really saw as all that egregious... but, well, you take your chances when you get them, and valentino did seem genuinely irritated when they started bickering in the post-race presser. with sete and marc, there's various assen-based controversies where valentino clearly didn't take particularly kindly to the reactions of the losing party - but this wasn't tied to the specific manner in which his rivals expressed themselves, as much as it was the simple fact they took the loss poorly. I struggle to recall any instance in which even marc, the rival who valentino continues to be the most obsessed with by a fair margin, managed to draw a response from valentino through a verbal provocation. one fairly obvious reason is that unlike casey, marc generally hasn't wanted to provoke valentino - and when he has wanted to, he's tended to do so on the track

but casey and valentino? oh, they clearly got to each other. the real giveaway is the frequency of arguments post-2009, which vastly outstrips any of valentino's other rivalries (especially given the absence of an actual title fight!) and completely dispensed with valentino's general restraint and ability to choose his moments. anything was fair game here and once one of them got in a jibe, the other one couldn't help but respond. partly this was a reflection of valentino's competitive frustrations, and I suppose lashing out at casey was as good a way to pass the time as any. but the simple fact of the matter is that valentino's rivals generally weren't going toe-to-toe with him in any war of words. casey was not only capable but also clearly willing to do so - and they figured out to hit each other where it hurts. all riders are unsurprisingly sensitive to the idea their accomplishments were not achieved through their own merits, but casey and valentino's sensibilities are particularly delicate in that regard. for all that valentino in 2001 to 2003 could enjoy the role of carefree king of the sport, a surefire way of getting to him was by suggesting his successes were down to the bike. as he details in his autobiography, by 2003 he was getting extremely irritable at the suggestion even by riders in his own house (read: biaggi and sete) that his factory status was giving him a massive advantage. it's one of the main reasons he switched to yamaha! he took a massive gamble, partly because he simply had to prove a point and show he was more than just a great bike. in 2014, he notes that marc's successes were generally not being attributed to being on the strongest bike, commenting that perhaps the difference was marc's rivals were less likely than valentino's to complain about bike disadvantages. (this is true broadly speaking, and remains true even after valentino and marc's relationship falls apart.) casey spent much of 2007 becoming increasingly short-tempered at suggestions he owed his title to either the bike or the tyres, annoyed that nobody was seemingly willing to accept he might just be that good. he hates it when riders make excuses for their poor performances by blaming their machinery, remained exceedingly sensitive to any insinuations he might not be extracting the most from his machinery - and generally can't stand it when riders cannot pay credit to others for their successes

so given their respective stances, it should come as zero surprise that they both ended up spending a fair bit of time discrediting each other's successes. again, in 2007 to 2009, they mostly aren't too bad with this. valentino complains a lot about the tyres in 2007 - but he generally frames this as a frustration that he can't fight with casey, rather than saying he would be beating casey without the tyre difference. and he's willing to actually make the gamble to switch the tyres, rather than just continuing to hide behind that disparity as an excuse. for his part, casey criticises valentino on a number of issues, including of course the laguna victory and how valentino went about achieving it. still, more often than not, they stress how much they respect and even admire each other as riders. then, when the relationship goes to shit in 2010... well, you've got stuff like valentino saying casey isn't pushing to the pushing on the ducati and casey talking about how valentino maybe should try not being soundly beaten by his teammate. in the next two years, casey in turn criticises valentino for not pushing to the limit on the ducati, while valentino gets irritable about comparisons made between the pair of them, uncharacteristically publicly sensitive to the idea that casey was more successful and/or more talented. and in his autobiography, casey expands on his jerez 2011 remarks to posit valentino's success relied on building up his confidence in a weak era

now, listen, if we were to fact-check these jibes, most of them would rank somewhere in the 'eh' tier. valentino's belief that he was at a disadvantage on the michelins in 2007 does broadly stand up to scrutiny, not least given what happened in 2008 - but of course, he will have been aware that his stance of 'if we were on the same tyres, the fight would be closer' would be translated to 'valentino is only losing because of the tyres' by much of the media and public. he didn't really need to do his own pr with a lot of this stuff; you can't just judge what he said without taking into consideration the unspoken implications he would surely have known the rest of the sport would run with. then, there's the claim that casey wasn't getting the maximum out of the ducati, which obviously aged horrendously. given the state of valentino's shoulder and how he very much should not have been riding with it, casey's teammate comment feels pretty harsh - though, again, it's probably fair to assume there was some bitterness there on casey's part about how much less sympathy he had been afforded a year earlier when he had been struggling. the criticisms of valentino on a ducati are again harshly phrased, and the bike was probably a fair bit worse than in 2010, which in any case was already a lot worse than when casey won the title in 2007 - though casey was of course right about the lack of progress of the project. the weak era argument is just not a framing I have any interest in within any context so I won't touch that one here, though your mileage will vary on that

the point here isn't to figure out who was 'right' or 'wrong' because, literally, who cares - this is more about establishing that both sides are insulting each other in ways that aren't always particularly 'fair' by their own standards. they're insulting each other in ways they hate to be insulted themselves. and once of them starts, of course the other has to respond in kind, which is how they had a bunch of petty insult contests that typically became races to the bottom. and it's worth remembering that valentino has gotten himself involved in some pretty nasty feuds where he doesn't do this stuff. even in late 2018, for instance, he was saying that marc didn't need to switch from honda to prove himself. he hasn't shied away from acknowledging marc's ability as a rider over the years - as far as he's concerned, his conflict with marc is entirely irrelevant to that. his insults of jorge were generally targeted at jorge's personality more than his ability (minus perhaps the 2009 cold war dramatics where everyone was constantly insinuating the other side was only fast because they were copying set-ups, but that's something different). of course, it's not just casey whose riding valentino has been snide about over the years - but it's the pettiness and frequency that really do stand out when compared to every other valentino rivalry. looking at the full body of evidence at our disposal, it's generally obvious that valentino did rate casey as a rider and suffered under no delusions when it came to either his talent or ultimate potential. but somehow, casey developed this ability to draw valentino into these completely pointless bickering matches. am I really saying, then, that their singular ability to annoy each other is evidence of how similar they sometimes are? well, yes, I suppose I am

again: all riders are to some extent preoccupied by the question of how much of their performances can be attributed to themselves or their bikes. these two are really preoccupied with it - and both have spoken to the importance of not deluding themselves about how their successes and failures have come about. from valentino's autobiography:

Looking back, what I said about wanting a bike that could win at Welkom, well, that was a way of boosting morale, an attempt at wishful thinking. You can't demand something like that. And even if you get it, there's no certainty you'll win. But then again, we riders always say all sorts of things. Sometimes we believe what we say, even when it sounds crazy, other times we're just being hopeful and, still at other times, it's all an exercise in self-delusion. We try to convince ourselves of something, because ultimately, every time you step on the track, words don't matter, and it's just you, the bike and your opponents. In fact, that's the only time you really have a clear picture of things. When you're actually on the track, racing against your opponents. That's when you know where you are and where the others stand. You know how your bike is doing and how those of your opponents are faring. That's the moment of clarity. Then, you can say whatever you like to everyone else: your chief mechanic, your mum, your girlfriend, the press... but, deep down, you know the truth and you know it with crystal-clear clarity. You can tell people you fell because the bike didn't follow the trajectory it was supposed to follow, or tell them that you're actually really fast, but the bike simply isn't. Inside you, however, you know the truth. You know you fell off because you made a mistake, or because your opponent is simply faster than you. And the opposite is also true. Deep down, you know whether your victories were deserved. You know if you won races on the turns, when it's down to your ability as a rider, or on the straightaways, when it's all about the power of the engine. You know the others are looking to make excuses when they say you beat them just because the bike was better. I always knew the truth behind each of my victories, and behind each of my defeats, too. I knew exactly why and how I won or lost. And so, at the end of 2003, after winning everything in sight with the Honda, I was certain I could win with another bike. But, of course, until I actually did it, I couldn't be truly certain. Thus, I set off on my journey, in search of that place where certainty meets truth.

and from casey's:

Livio once said to me that when a rider is not having success they have to find an excuse because the alternative is to accept they are not good enough. If they do that then it is hard to find the motivation to keep digging. Why even bother to keep on racing if you know you can’t win? He says riders always have to have that in them. I find a lot of truth in that, but personally I also think it is a weakness. If a rider truly believes that the bike is the problem and not them, this gives them confidence to keep going. But I have never needed that confidence because my approach is to adapt myself if necessary. I have no problem admitting if it is me who needs to be faster. If the bike had problems I tried to ride around them, not point them out and use them as an excuse.  

I wouldn't say these passages are saying quite the same thing, but at the very least they're in conversation with each other. riders tell themselves stories to protect themselves. but there is only so far that can take you - because eventually, the truth is unavoidable. valentino believes that deep down, riders know the truth anyway, whereas casey's theory is that riders can give themselves false confidence by lying to themselves. both ended up switching manufacturers at age 25, both immediately won their first race on new machinery and proved their point. and it's that point proving that they really are both awfully fond of - valentino is always wrapping up each of his victories in stories, ones that he provides significance in ways that are at times lampshaded with his various celebrations, while casey too is no stranger to finding satisfaction in proving people wrong. it's a love for subverting expectations, for surprising. it's a need to prove themselves, a desire to take on the toughest of challenges and conquer them. it's also not unconnected to their desire to uphold the importance of the rider over the bike, their wariness towards many of the more recent developments in the sport. casey's opinions about many of the technical advances from various electronics to aero to ride height devices are well-documented, and more often than not it is something he and valentino have been most outspoken about among the aliens. (for a recent contrast compare marc's reaction to his ride height device issues in austria and his insistence they need not be immediately be banned - as one of the various post-race podcasts noted, a cynic might suggest this stance could be affected by how he will have access to the very best ride height devices next year, affording him an edge over the competition.) casey and valentino are both interested in preserving the soul of the sport, are in love with its heritage; see the pride valentino takes in having won the last ever 500cc championship, how casey wishes he could have raced with those bikes and was delighted when given the chance to ride one of them last year. valentino has agreed with several of casey's critiques over the years, including in 2013 after their rivalry was already over and he was quizzed about some off casey's comments in press conferences. casey has even acknowledged a certain common ground between the pair of them here, saying in 2018, "he is like me: if it weren't for all these electronics that manage the bike, if the power was controlled only by the rider's right wrist, rossi would still be number one on the track"

a desire to allow riders to perform without too much outside assistance, then, without too much dilution of the 'pure' nature of competition. even casey's disgust at the merest sliver of yellow on the desmosedici reflects that respect for heritage, in a way, and valentino has hardly been shy in paying tribute to racing heritage himself. and yes, there's the desire for truth - the desire to ensure that the sport continues to be decided by riders and their skills more than it does by clever technology, so that the most deserving rider can be revealed. nothing better than a journey where 'certainty meets truth', is there?

and what could be more of a truth-finding journey than a good old fashioned conspiracy theory? those, after all, are all about revealing hidden truths - ones that need to be revealed, ones that only the select few are initially able to perceive. valentino has competed in two title deciders in his career - and casey and valentino have split the honours in coming up with a conspiracy theory for each. in this bold division of labour, valentino took on 2015, accusing another rider of sabotaging his title bid in a seldom discussed incident that has gone a little bit under the radar in subsequent years. casey, for his part, tackled 2006 - believing that valentino had been intentionally sabotaged by way of a faulty tyre. bafflingly, he included this in his autobiography. even more bafflingly, this passage was seemingly changed between editions (more of my thoughts on that here):

I wanted to include both excerpts here mainly because I think both add something to the conversation. and for what it's worth, while valentino has mentioned that his tyres felt weird and it is plausible he may have had a dud tyre, to the best of my knowledge he has never speculated that he was the victim of any dastardly plot to deny him the title

while both valentino and casey's theories are technically speaking in the realm of 'possible', I think we can all agree that they are rather unlikely to be true. sure, there may be elements of truth to both of them - maybe valentino really did have a dud tyre, maybe marc really did race valentino differently - but there's this suspicion of malevolence here that elevates them to the conspiratorial. there is, however, also a clear difference between the two theories that I think can tell us a lot about the pair of them. casey's conspirator is faceless, a shadowy presence - influenced perhaps by uncertain, murky "commercial interests". it is not an individual that plays the villain, but is instead a structure - or certainly a collective - acting maliciously against a single rider. "welcome to my world, mate", thinks casey in response - because this plot has reminded him of all the instances in which nefarious collective actors have done him ill. in some ways, it echoes one of his earliest grievances: being denied the club membership by an australian committee that he needed to be able to continue to race in the country - a committee run by those who wished him ill. 'politics' that casey did not understand, fuelled by 'jealousy and spite', ended up forcing his family's relocation to britain, which made them financially completely reliant on casey's racing. in many of his grievances over the years, you will find echoes of this incident: the jealous and malevolent banding together to use their institutional power to make life hard for casey. in essence, to deny him entry to their clubs - to force him into the role of perpetual outsider. by contrast, valentino's conspiracies take a deeply personal shape, focusing on identifying potential traitors and preemptively striking against them before they can finish their job of destroying him. while valentino might be friendly with many, he has tended towards a tight circle of friends who have known him for a long time, is intensely aware of how establishing close bonds can open someone up to betrayal. the only way to avoid that is by managing vulnerability - and with rivals, more often than not, he would prefer not to have the kind of bond in the first place that would prompt true hatred when betrayed. shallow, violent hatred is acceptable, yes, so is cultivating a little bit of distance when a fellow rider develops into a true rival. but if such a close bond is established, then it only makes sense to suspect that bond in a time of crisis. casey thinks the world is against him - which valentino doesn't think, because it's not. he is on the look out for isolated bad actors, whereas casey is keeping a wary eye on the entire system

I don't want to go too far in pathologising these processes. plenty of casey's grievances are not only legitimate but also an accurate assessment - sometimes, they really are out to get you. valentino's tendency to distance himself from his most immediate rivals is in many ways the sensible way to go about things. but of course, there is not always a hidden truth to be uncovered, the guilty party is not always accurately identified. even casey's animosity towards valentino at times seems strangely impersonal, separate from their direct interactions ("and I dare say valentino as a guy was probably fine", after all) - but instead position valentino as the beneficiary of a system that uplifts him as much as it demonises casey. 'welcome to my world, mate' says casey about the supposed 2006 sabotage, for this is not usually a world valentino occupied. the other process casey deploys is one of abstraction, wherein valentino is to some extent depersonalised, treated less like an individual threat and more representative of broader ills: lack of respect amongst riders, what people are truly 'capable of', the corrupt nature of the european soul etc. valentino for his part never let casey close enough to allow any kind of betrayal - and you can see this from his 2010 comments, that the new hostilities 'please' him because they are the 'truth'. the competitive paranoia that unites them goes beyond what is 'normal' for athletes - with a tendency towards suspicion and conspiratorial thinking more than evident in both of them, even if it expresses itself in somewhat different ways. they're certainly not the most trusting individuals, are they

let's wrap this up, then. what it really comes down to is that valentino unwittingly ended up being pretty much the perfect foil for casey. in a lot of ways, of course, they really couldn't be more different - of course, casey had to run into the ultimate showman, the most ruthless of competitors, the one beloved above all others by the sport and those who govern it. valentino is a walking nightmare for casey to have to deal with: the way he embodied the ideal of sports as an entertainment product, the way he was determined to use every tool at his disposal to humiliate casey. of course, casey simply had to run into a rider with a reputation for breaking rivals, what with everyone already predisposed to seeing him as weak, what with his health problems that allowed much of the motogp world to write him off as broken. of course, casey just had to run into a rival who might as well have been tailor-made to make him suffer

still, casey provided rather a good account of himself in that rivalry. and valentino isn't just a foil in the sense that he provides a striking contrast for casey to define himself against - he is also the agent of transformation who forces casey to learn from him, to grow and change himself, as well as a mirror who can throw into sharp relief elements of casey that might have otherwise gone unnoticed. not to get too jungian here, but the analytical psychologists would say that casey is being forced to confront his shadow self, with valentino quite nicely mapping onto a trickster archetype (junk science but can be fun if you don't take it too seriously). the unconscious elements of casey's personality he is not entirely at ease with, these strict codes and rules and standards he subjects both himself and the rest of the world to... valentino both acts as an embodiment of the various injustices casey has experienced throughout his life, a living breathing representation of many of the grievances casey has accumulated - and as this discomforting presence that teaches casey things about human nature, including those parts of himself that had existed within casey's emotional 'blind spot'. valentino exists in such violent opposition to a lot of casey's most strongly felt ideals that he not only serves as a conveniently malevolent presence to be projected upon at will, but also as this mechanism by which casey is forced to confront the shadow. it's all over his descriptions of laguna - "valentino showed who he really was", "I learned a lot about character, I learned a lot about race craft, I learned a lot about what people were capable of", "I underestimated what people are capable of just to win a race"... valentino deceives, he manipulates, he tricks - but he also serves the function of revealing what was hidden. and on the one hand, it makes casey recommit to his own values, knowing that he would not have acted like valentino did - "in his place I would have apologised", "I couldn't have done that overtaking, if I touched someone and moved them I felt guilty. it was the stupid part of my character, but it was what kept me asleep at night". but on the other hand, it also prompts a transformation within casey - a "change in mindset", something that "helped me in the following years", adopt "a different mentality", that taught him to "be more selfish with my racing", to "race for myself". again: "but, after two years of racing with people who don't worry about you, I've learned that I have to do the same." "people think it was the turning point of the season, but instead it was the turning point of my career, because from that moment I told myself I wouldn't worry about thinking about others anymore" - he's very explicit about this, isn't he? and of course, most memorably: "what happened between me and valentino at laguna 2008 won't happen again, or if it does, he'll get it back tenfold". for all that acting like valentino did would cause casey sleepless nights, if given a do-over then casey believes he would match and surpass valentino's brutality. if that's not being brought in touch with your own shadow I don't know what is

likewise, valentino functions as a focal point for many of casey's issues surrounding public performance, exposing the tension between casey's distaste for this type of public-facing communication in the name of entertainment and his desire to be understood and recognised. once upon a time, casey struggled to even acknowledge appreciation of his skill, much less seek it out

“When he won Superteen races he used to ride round with his hands on the handlebars, so I told him that he should wave to the crowd. He said, ‘no, I’ll feel a real dick’. So he was riding around, hiding inside his helmet, embarrassed with what he was doing, embarrassed with how good he was."

(thinking.) this kind of embarrassment just will not fly if your rival is valentino rossi. nobody was going to rate casey if he didn't at the very least rate himself - and he always did, exhibiting an unwavering belief in his own ability, an ironclad self confidence that kept him going throughout all the turmoil of his career. but he was stuck being simultaneously resentful of how he wasn't being given the credit he felt he was owed and unwilling or unable to articulate his own case. in this rivalry, he was already on the back foot as a result of how obscenely loved valentino was, how skilled valentino was in using that love to his own ends. casey was forced to learn to stand up for himself and take pride in his own unmatched skill and talent. he learned to play valentino's game - and he became very good at it. there's a surprisingly effective communicator buried within the surly, outrageously stubborn introvert... the type who not only could make so cutting a remark after a racing incident that it would live on in infamy, but also understood the power of the moment - an echo, in a way, of valentino stopping on his victory lap to kiss the corkscrew in commemoration of an overlap he had executed on lap four but knew would be the defining image of that race. casey has paired his reputation for straight-talking honesty with a willingness to do a fair bit of talking, if that's what it takes for his narrative of the rivalry with valentino to gradually take purchase. he's always been opinionated, he's always had a lot to say - and eventually he's learned how to say it

in the end, it's all about the shock, and it's all about the awe. they both had the ability to amaze each other on the track, posing such a stern challenge to each other it felt insurmountable. here's both of them in 2021:

CS: "But after the first year in MotoGP, seeing things from the inside, my respect for him had grown - at that moment I thought he was someone almost impossible to beat." VR: “One of the most talented and difficult riders to beat because, for me, about the pure talent, he's unbeatable."

quite something, isn't it, for valentino to call his rival's talent "unbeatable"... he came up with quite some praise of casey back in the day, labelling him both a 'devil' and a 'god'. to valentino, the danger casey represents was in his youth, his raw, unmatched talent, exhilarating to face and to attempt to best. to casey, valentino was a reference, someone who served to 'validate' casey's career achievements. it's a rivalry memorable for its violence, in the vitriol they reserved for each other, in how capable they were of dragging each other down - but in this process, a lot was also revealed about the pair of them, and especially casey. it is the central rivalry of casey's career, one he might not be 'obsessed' with but certainly shaped him above all others. sometimes, it was defined by how different the two of them were, sometimes by how casey changed to use some of valentino's playbook himself - and sometimes, by how they may have been a little more similar than anyone would have expected all along

[youmakethelight]

Watching the reactions to tboc is actually whiplash.

My tl is the most contrasting mix of bad emotions about out of character dialogue, another stupid thing one of the male EPs said, daryl treating carol like shit, and then blushing and swooning over the reunion and how right the world is that they're together again.

Almost all the good vibes I could have got from the reunion are sucked out by 99% of the rest of the show. I wasn't even that impressed with the reunion, honestly. I wanted more. The camera angle was off, I didn't see daryl's hand on carol's head, the music was off, and it faded out too quick to the worst acting I've ever seen from Norman, going "nonono" running towards dying isabelle. Like, wow. Way to IMMEDIATELY take daryl away again. Who WAS that?

For almost a whole day, I was feeling a bit better, seeing everyone's reactions to episode 4. But now I feel shitter than I did before. Like the reunion did NOT have that much impact on me - how did it for y'all? I'm jealous.

Episode 4 was literally 1 step forward 5 steps back the whole way through. The good doesn't outweigh the bad at all. The "you're too much" scene is starting to annoy me. I mean.. it was funny, but considering daryl still hasn't shown any real appreciation or care for carol yet, I wasn't in love with him being so grumpy with her (also directly after the barn scene, like wtf?). But it's more annoying bc it's feeling overhyped at this point. Like, there's like 4 nice scenes in episode 4 that I'm seeing over and over, and at this point, all it's doing is reminding me that that's all we have. The rest is bad.

At least when pretty much the whole thing is so bad that 99% of the response is negative, it feels like AMC might actually be forced to do something about it. This way, it just feels like they're keeping us fed with crumbs so that they can get away with keeping the rest of it a pile of shit.

And all I remember about episode 5 is that it made me feel worse. I just remember feeling like Carol felt like a spare part, and it made me feel like shit. For 2 seconds, I got to see her enjoying looking around where she was in Paris, and then Daryl is being grumpy with her again. Like holy shit. And I can't even be bothered to make a joke about it, bc it isn't funny. When I first saw the screeners' reviews and the negative speculation, I really didn't think it would be as bad as I imagined it could be, but it is.

And I'm just scared people on sm are just going to be so happy that they're together again, that any issues with it are going to get swept under the carpet (and then perpetuated into the next season). And my feelings are going to feel totally invalidated. Like ok I can kiss goodbye to any hope that I'll ever feel like im seeing my favourite characters on screen again bc AMC doesn't think it needs to change anything. 🙃🙂🙃

I am not trying to say that people shouldn't be finding joy where they can get it. This is all AMC and a bunch of men in charge, NOT fans. I'm just feeling shit about it all, and idk, oversharing on the internet and treating tumblr like my personal diary is my coping mechanism now ig.

I just hate it here.