#it's a miserable way to live
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Are you an "Empath" or are you hyper-vigilant to other micro-expressions? Are those interpretations of said expressions even accurate? Are you truly capable of understanding someone else's emotions or do you just feel for them? Do you consistently place yourself in someone's else's shoes or do you only do that to those you deem "good enough?" Are you a helper or are you a people-pleaser? Are your parents/exes "narcs" or were they just shitty people? Or were they complex multifaceted individuals who were suffering but still bad things? Is your narrative just "victim vs evil people?" Do you only place value in your identity and not your actions?
#yes im mad#this is a callout post for empaths#who might actually be cluster b (specifically covert/vulnerable npd)#not that it excuses their behavior or demonizes the disorders. you know. nuance and all that.#something a lot of them lack judging by their treatment of others#that take will piss off a lot of folks who were on the receiving end of their shit and rightfully so#itll also piss off the empaths#but fuck it maybe it's about time they realize that hey. everyone id capable of doing bad AND good things and they should get off their ass#i was that bitch too#it's a miserable way to live
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Happy danger days birthday
#danger days to me holds so much anger and grief#just as much as tbp imo#not just because of what was happening in the band at the time but#especially because it was supposed to be a happy + hopeful album#but Gerard relapsing and the tensions in the band at the time made it miserable#the album definitely has a positive message and the spirit of fun continues#but I can’t help but feel a lil sad listening to it#mcr#my chemical romance#gerard way#frank iero#my chem#mikey way#ray toro#mcr fanart#danger days fanart#danger days the true lives of the fabulous killjoys
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SO funny that they tried to parallel willow’s lethal magic addiction with spuffy when what buffy was doing was….. getting orgasms from someone who was in love with her cnxnxnxbbxxbxnxnxn
#granted BUFFY was thinking about it that way but like djdndndnbddhsbdb#i mean congrats spike for being so crazy good in bed buffy hung garlic from her windows and sat clothed in bed with a cross so she didn’t#run into your arms i guess fjdndnxnxndbxd#the most miserable girl in the world experiencing good sex for the first time in her life: i am the worst person to ever live#btvs#control freak dead girl buffy summers you are the loml
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One of my biggest gripes in the world is when someone automatically views explanations as excuses. Sometimes shit just happens, and I’m explaining to you how cause leads to effect. It’s not an “excuse” just because the outcome isn’t what you’d hoped for.
#‘well that’s an excuse’ fun fact! it’s actually just a realistic clarification of consequence!#do you want to understand things or do you just want to throw a fit because they didn’t go your way?#I personally find the former way less miserable to live with but you do you I guess
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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Hetalia posting in 2024? Perhaps.....
#hetalia#aph england#arthur kirkland#aph france#francis bonnefoy#aph fruk#scolo posting art?? no way#i didn't watch hetalia beyond the 4th season (yet). the new look doesn't vibe with me as hard as the old one#hello tumblr dot com. . . it's so nice to see you again . . < )#im so homesick tumblr dot com!!! these mountains reminds me of home. wuaaa. im tired of living in a city in the middle of a big plain !#it makes me miserable#art tag
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jon val jon or something
#jean valjean#les miserables#les mis#meme#no bc i just read the part where FIRST of all he's 'so happy his conscience began to bother him' and immediately goes 'can't have that'#and then he 'lived in the backyard like a dog' OF HIS OWN HOUSE WHILE COSETTE IS IN THE MAIN BUILDING#and jvj my beloved i am obsessed with you king but it is SO unhealthy to intentionally deprive yourself just so someone else can tell you..#'no no don't do that you need to take care of yourself' like bro i know you want to be nurtured and have someone prove their love for you#but it's really not great that the only way you keep your room at a liveable temperature and eat good food is when cosette is making you#i say this without judgement bc that was me once too but good GOD man your identity cannot be her!!!!#and stop with the preemptive self-inflicted harm!!! stop with the self-protective and yet -destructive distancing!!#you're only doing that because you want someone to tell you to stop!!!!!#alternate chapter title: in which an old man finds himself at home among the youth (2014 tumblr)#ANYways all this to say jvj is a projectable 10000% and i hate him because i love him because i hate that version of me bc i love me#or: SHUT UP AND BE LOVED YOU SILLY OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kay has a party in the tags#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay is a classical literature nerd#my meme
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I've been following you for years, and I love your art. Seeing you repost your older art pieces reminded me how much I loved the angry, bitter, miserable Machete art and how it resonated with me... but a part of me is also so happy to see the current art of him being happy. Cute art of him as a unicorn, or chilling in a bathtub with Vasco. Like, we're all growing and healing :')
#thank you!#he's been angry and bitter and miserable for so long it feels nice to give him an ounce of happiness for a change#some reasons to live besides spite and sense of duty#answered#anonymous#I always saw him as a character who's unsalvageable corrupted and doomed by narrative#and that the only way out of his miserable existence was a well deserved death#it sounds extremely cliche but I genuinely had no idea it would be so cathartic to view him through a lens of like#hope and healing and being worthy of love and saving despite your evident flaws and failings#unplanned redemption arc kapow#Vasco really just sauntered in and flipped the whole situation on it's head#sorry folks he has a boyfriend and gets regular pets and hugs and kisses now
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I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and. I just feel like crying over that fact. a few years ago I was sure I’d be an anxious miserable wreck for my entire life but now I wake up and I love the world and I promise one day you will too. please keep going please hold the world tight. you will giggle at something silly with a stranger. a staff member at a place you frequent will smile when they see you. an elderly person will look at you gratefully for helping them. you’ll cry about stupid stuff and laugh about it later. you’ll drink cold water during a hot day and it will be the best sensation ever. being alive is the best thing I’ve ever experienced.
#WWWAAUUUGGHGH#IM VERY EMOTIONAL. I love living I love the earth I love my friends so much#it was. so bad a few years ago#panic attacks every other day. miserable most of the time. unhealthy habits. every day felt like a bad day#but then I managed to get out of an awful situation. and I made an effort to try and love the place I live now as WELL as being homesick *#* for my home country. and I fought to notice the little things. and I went outside even when I haaated the idea of it#and now???? I’m still disabled. I still have anxiety. I’m not yet back in my home country#but my god I’m so happy in life. it does get better. everyone was right#even though I experience severe chronic pain on the daily. even though I live somewhere noisy and hot and crowded.#life is silly that way :3 I promise it gets better. it’s so cliche and it never sounds true but it is. it is#hopepunk
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the fact that my friend discovered she was demisexual and aromantic because she met me and i explained what those were is why its so important that aspec identities get talked about in the real world and not just online cause a lot of people just wont ever be in these spaces
#and im not saying its the job of every individual aspec person to inform the public about everything#but if there are groups you are capable of talking about it with or there are ways to sneak it into the mainstream more and more#thats how more people get to stop living miserable lives since they didnt know these identities were possible#cause she was MISERABLE thinking about her past romantic relationships and being in any future ones#and now we have sex and hang out and thats so much more fulfilling for both of us than how we lived before#aromantic#arospec#aspec#asexual#aroace#aroallo#alloaro#queer#acespec
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Reaction images aside, how are you holding up?
Aww, thanks for asking. :P
To be honest, I'm probably doing better than most. I'm a healthy cishet white man who lives in the UK, so I don't have nearly as much to worry about as I know a lot of people do. (Also hey, I'm enjoying the new Dragon Age game, so that's been nice.) But I also know what kind of ramifications this election is bound to have, both inside the US and beyond.
(I mean, the world's biggest democracy is getting overtly more hostile and authoriarian in real time (y'know. again), and I know on this side of the pond we've got some real brain donors who'd love to see something similar happen here. I'm worried about what Trump could do once he's back in charge, and I'm worried about what might happen to my own country, with it's 'special relationship' to the US, as a result. And I'm not alone in that.
All this on a fuckin' Wednesday...)
Anyway, I had a longer thing written out here about the concept of orthopraxis (just while I was trying to get my thoughts in order, lmao) but the core of what I want to say is this:
I think we're about to see an uptick in people being shitty
I'm going to counter that by doing un-shitty things
What do I mean by un-shitty things? Well, I've been meaning to participate in Amnesty International's 'Write For Rights' campaign for months - I just fired off my first email today. I've already donated to causes supporting Gaza in the past, but now I'm also planning to write to my local MP about how annoyed I am that my country is still culpable in genocide. Make my voice heard, you know? I also want to keep making art that people enjoy, because I think that's important. And I'm going to buy another commission from an artist I like, because they could probably use something good in their life right now. And... to be honest, I'm not sure what else I'll do yet. When I figure it out, though, I'll try and actually do it.
Maybe for you, un-shitty things mean something smaller scale. Hugging your loved ones for longer, or giving that loose change you always carry around to the next homeless person you see. That's good too. Maybe it's something larger in scale, and that's awesome! But to anyone who's reading this, I'd definitely recommend doing something that not only feels good, but is also TANGIBLE. Not only does doing feel good, but it means that you're improving someone else's life, in however small a way. Which, y'know. Net positive, innit.
(Yes, I'm aware this is basically the 'when you see someone being so mean it inspires you to be kinder meme', lmao. No, I don't really care.)
You asked me how I'm holding up? Well, the first thing I'd like to do is respond to your question in kind: how are you holding up? In a general sense? In specific ways? Hopes, anxieties, plans?
And the next thing I'm going to do is tell you that I'm more than holding up.
I'm locking in.
#GODDAMNIT this one turned out longer than I wanted it to. Fuck. ah well. I'm a terminal yapper this was pretty much inevitable#also still gonna be runnning the blog obvs#I've got a real good selection of images still in the folder#and my loyal minion is still making incremental progress on giving everything we've already posted alt text#but yeah! Praxis#as much as I would love to make Elon and Trump and Vance's lives miserable it's just not feasible for me#gonna just be nice to some people instead#(and maybe find ways to make life more difficult for Farage and Banedoch and Yaxley-Lennon#and some of our other home-grown cunts. Yaknow. If I'm feeling spiteful)#not a pic#someone asked me a thing!
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one thing that really annoys me about a lot of les mis productions is their insistence on making the les amis de l'abc older than they are. i know it's partly a schematics thing with hiring younger actors, but to me so much of the tragedy behind the barricade comes from the fact they were kids. they were college students staring at a future they despised, desperate to change it, and they - and the hope they had for a kinder future - were slaughtered. i mean, hell, the musical talks about it! all the time! javert calls them schoolboys, turning is the mothers of paris staring at corpses of boys who could have been their sons, cosette eponine and marius are kids lost in their first loves. idk it seems like such a minor thing but to me it's so core to what makes this story so devastating
#when i saw it live we had a marius who was pretty baby-faced#and bring him home hit me so much harder than in any other version i've seen#i wish it was more common because god it was so fucking good#almost brought me to tears in a way songs like that never seem to#anyway#rhi rambles#les mis#les miserables#the barricade boys#les amis de l'abc
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UNKNOWN ST5 SCENE (x)
#byler#mine#mine:gif#st5 spoilers#um the way i'm giffing this like a PROPER gifset just to make a comparison gifset when the actual scene comes out LMAO#to me this is a coming out/break up scene#platonic elmike here i come!#fourth gif (second row - right): he says will change my mind#<- i know i am biased but let me live#pls i'm feeling so miserable lately LET ME BE DELULU#also omg my first s5 gifset!!!?
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#aaron tveit#grantaire#enjolras#enjoltaire#les mis#les mis meme#roblox memes#the way that this is so fitting bc enjolras’s eyes were screaming for grantaire to leave but they died holding hands is crazy#how can i live laugh love in these conditions#les miserables
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We can't hear it Spam, but it's real to you. I get auditory hallucinations a lot, and usually what helps me is a distraction. Maybe... name 5 things you can see? Or make paper airplanes with old messages, or draw some pictures. Otherwise, I'm sure someone has a crossword or story they can send you to help you out!
#thank you anonnnnn some of these are kinda hard to work with lolll#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#if i get a shiver of guilt when im writing it thats how i know its the one LMAOOOO#sometimes i forget i dont need dialogue. descriptions can do my job for me.#I guess im living up to the every other day schedule i said id be doing#although i wish i could do every day again LOL but its important to take my time with these ones in particular because i want them to feel#certain way while also being effective esp guilt wise. you guys caused this so you get to feel bad ab it when hes miserable. This time you#get to see the aftermath. haha. this is your fault! haha. your actions have consequences for him!#That and the active participation people seem to like lol
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it's like. louis attempted to tell this story to daniel the first time, broke down, and attacked him before he could finish it.
and then decades later he's convinced himself that it was leaving the story unresolved that's holding him back from living his life fully now. so he invites daniel back again. and louis is sitting poised and put together, confident in his ability to recite his history in a pretty, poignant, neat little narrative that will resolve all the guilt and yearning and emptiness inside of him. that if he can just tell a compelling, satisfying story, maybe it will actually be that, and not the life he lived through, with all the pitfalls of his own failures lurking inside.
and then season 1 ends with him once again being forced to confront that the story he wants to imagine and the life he actually lived aren't the same thing. the boundaries around his narrative are shredded and he's left exposed, and subsequently able to face his past for the first time since that original interview. and you think, you think, "well this is it. they've crossed the event horizon. there's no use hiding the truth anymore, not after it's come flooding out into the open like this"
and then season 2 opens. not only is it back to the original, practiced distance, we now have armand literally enforcing that distance. a man sitting at the table who's interjections must be disregarded, an intentional interruption to the flow of the story. he doesn't exist to aid or add detail, he exists to distract louis when he gets too deep in the story. the only time we do get louis allowing any deep truth to come out is when armand leaves the room.
it's like. louis wants a story that's true, and the truth is what he's convinced will leave him satisfied. armand wants a story that will satisfy louis, to the extent louis will accept it's true.
#genuinely THE juiciest way to tell this story#like it's SO good#there's this coy little humor behind the ep#where louis and armand are very much like 'haha okay daniel you've caught us out. you've seen behind the curtain. this is the whole truth'#meanwhile daniel's getting '8 hours on how to avoid the sun and torpedoes'#like it's a faux revelation that completely backtracks all of the progress made at the end of season 1#and even louis's (very touching) moment this episode where he tells daniel the truth#is a very digestible and ultimately non-harmful dive into his past#armand doesn't like it because it's part of a slippery slope of remembrance#but he doesn't actively get in the way of it being told because it's a revealed memory that doesn't ULTIMATELY mean that much#like i'm assuming we're all on deck as far as believing louis doesn't remember the full extent of claudia's death atm.#i could be wrong about that. but like. it is kind of the elephant in the room at the moment#so it's very much a case of armand getting to couch his own fears and attachment in 'doing the greater good for louis'#ultimately who does it serve if louis remembers everything and realizes armand's more negative role in his life?#all that will do is make him miserable. deprive him of the one person in his life who cares for him#better to have a palatable lie than a truth that could leave louis a danger to himself#('as long as you walk this earth i won't taste the fire' <- but she doesn't walk this earth and the reason why is sitting by his side)#isn't it the kinder and better thing to manufacture a world where louis can live with himself?#anyways. teehee. i missed this show so much. <3#iwtv
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