#it's a matter of whether or not I main tag when I'm finished | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

searchingwardrobes · 1 month ago

Text

Scarborough Fair 9/?

Yes, it's true. You aren't dreaming. I am finally updating this long-neglected fic! Not only that, but I will be finishing it. As a matter of fact, you will have an update every day this week. If anyone still cares, that is, lol. I know the fandom isn't what it once was. However, I suddenly got inspired again to finish this. So whether or not anyone reads it, it's getting the resolution it deserves. Why did I neglect it for so long? Writer's block. I just haven't written hardly a thing in at least a year, probably longer. So when I laid awake, unable to sleep because I was finishing this fic in my head, I was ecstatic. That's why I'm finishing it whether anyone reads it or not. Of course, if you are still reading it, may I politely suggest commenting? It definitely feeds the muse!

Rest assured, there will be an update tomorrow. I don't have much going on tomorrow, and I actually planned more in this chapter originally. So be looking out for that!

Much thanks to the two biggest fans of this fic, Krystal @kmomof4 and Marta @snowbellewells - re-reading your reblogs of this fic helped kick me back into high gear!

And as an extra treat, here is a picture of Emma's wedding dress in this chapter:

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Emma Swan has had a charmed life, despite being a foster child. She has a wonderful family who loves her, and the best friends in the world. The only thing that mars her idyllic existence is her birth mother: a homeless woman who mutters nonsensical rhymes and claims to be Snow White. One fateful night, however, Emma’s world is shattered. Perhaps her mother’s rhymes aren’t nonsense after all.

Rated: M for date rape, dubious consent, teen pregnancy, and sexy times (the good kind!)

Words: Over 1k in this chapter

Also on Ao3

Tagging: (let me know if you wish to be removed or added): @snowbellewells @teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @xhookswenchx-reads-blog @thisonesatellite @welllpthisishappening @spartanguard @ohmakemeahercules @tiganasummertree @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1 @jamif @undercaffinatednightmare @onceratheart18 @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressay

Liam and Ingrid, unsurprisingly, had concerns when they came home to Emma and Killian announcing their engagement. Anna, unsurprisingly, was bouncing up and down with joy.

“Are you sure you’re proposing for the right reasons?” Was their main question for Killian.

“Well, the main reason is I love her,” he told them with conviction, “but it’s also the timing. She needs me. I know deep in my bones I was always meant to be her husband, so if she needs me now, why wait?”

“Are you sure you aren’t just accepting out of fear? Because it’s safe?” Was their main question for Emma.

Emma’s answer was delivered with just as much conviction. “It isn’t just that I feel safe with Killian; I love him. Shouldn’t love feel safe, anyway? And I feel the same way he does. If we waited five more years, or ten, or twenty, nothing would change. We’re meant to be together.”

Liam and Ingrid couldn’t pretend to be surprised. Both of them had noticed a soulmate type of connection between Emma and Killian for a long time. They also couldn’t deny the logic of the decision when it came to Emma’s security and the baby’s. There was only one other concern.

“What about school?”

“I can finish high school married just as well as I can single,” Emma told them with a shrug, and Killian vowed he wouldn’t get in the way of her education.

“But Boston College, Killian?”

He squared his shoulders and looked his brother dead in the eyes. “I won’t be returning. I’ve already told my boss he can count on me full time with the construction company. He’s promoting me to a foreman position, so I can easily support Emma. When the baby’s a little older, I can enroll at Red Oak and get my degree there.”

Liam wanted to argue, but there really wasn’t anything wrong with Killian’s plan. Lots of people worked a year or two, or longer, before getting a degree. He wanted to say that Boston College was a lot more prestigious than Red Oak, but he knew full well it was a pretty weak argument. Killian would save a lot of money by transferring to Red Oak, not to mention gaining job experience. He let out a long breath and shared a meaningful look with his wife.

“Well okay, then,” she said, her signature grin filling her face, “let’s plan a wedding!”

*******************************************************

A date was set for mid-August, giving Emma two weeks between the wedding and the first day of her senior year. Unfortunately, Elsa wouldn’t be back from her study abroad program in time for the ceremony. It also gave them only three weeks to throw a wedding together. Thankfully, neither Emma nor Killian were big on grand ceremonies.

The first item on Ingrid’s checklist was the venue. The bride and groom solved that easily: their own living room. Anna and Ingrid - and Elsa via Zoom - tried to protest that it was too small, but Emma just shrugged them off.

“We can just pull out all the furniture and line up folding chairs. It’s not like we’re inviting that many people.”

Ingrid was concerned that the second item, the dress, would be impossible. Fate, however, seemed to be in their favor. Emma found a vintage dress that suited her personality perfectly at a thrift store downtown. She hadn’t even been dress shopping that day. Ingrid had taken her for ice cream after one of her prenatal appointments, and they had decided to stroll around the square with their ice cream cones. They were simply walking along the sidewalk, licking scoops of chocolate ice cream, and suddenly, there it was, displayed in a window.

Emma wasn’t even sure it was meant to be a wedding dress, but it didn’t really matter. It was a cream colored, empire-wasted, sleeveless dress with one tier on the bottom of the long skirt. The fabric had a delicate floral pattern in light gold that shimmered when Emma moved. The top was a halter, which flattered Emma’s fuller bust due to her pregnancy. The empire waist also masked her growing baby bump and provided plenty of room in case she gained more in the next few weeks. When she tried it on, Ingrid started to cry.

An employee stopped to admire Emma. “We just got that in yesterday,” she told her. “A woman told us it was her mother’s prom dress in 1976.”

Emma’s mouth fell open as she locked eyes with Ingrid. Her foster mother pressed her hands to her mouth and let out a happy squeak.

“It’s fate, Emma,” she told her, and the two embraced.

They left the store with the dress lovingly wrapped in its original box, having paid a whopping thirty-five dollars and seventy-five cents.

Every single item on Ingrid’s list was checked off with simple solutions by the bride and groom:

Killian’s tux? Well, if Emma was wearing a 70s prom dress from a thrift shop, Killian would find a thrift store suit, too.

The food? A potluck lunch would do just fine.

The cake? The ones at the grocery store would do. As George Banks said in Father of the Bride, a cake is just flour, eggs, and sugar, right? Or something.

The only thing Killian was concerned about was a place to live. Sure, he knew his brother and Ingrid would never kick them out, and there was at least a modicum of privacy in his attic suite. Still, it would be a little awkward, for one. More than that, however, was Killian’s pride. If he was really providing for Emma and the baby, he should be able to put a roof over their heads.

His pride wouldn’t even allow him to go to his own brother with his concerns. Yet, Liam somehow knew anyway. Which was why he greeted Killian at the door one evening, a week and a half before the wedding, with a huge grin on his face and a slip of paper in his hand with an address on it.

After hearing what Liam had to say, Killian raced eagerly up the stairs to Emma’s room with the good news. He came to a sudden stop in Emma’s open doorway, the smile falling from his face. She was sitting atop her bed, hugging a pillow, hastily wiping tears from her cheeks. Her mother’s journal rested atop the quilt beside her.

“Hey,” Killian said softly as he entered the room, “what’s wrong?”

Emma slid over to make space for him on the bed, still trying to wipe the traces of tears from her cheeks. Killian picked up her mother’s journal as he made himself comfortable against the throw pillows along the headboard. Emma lifted his arm, put it around her shoulders, and tucked herself against him.

“Is it the curse?”

She shook her head. “It’s my mom,” she told him softly.

He waited, rubbing her arm gently, and pressing his lips to the top of her head. Emma let out a shaky sigh before continuing.

“I wish I knew where she was. I’m getting married, and she doesn’t even know.”

Killian nodded but said nothing. Emma lifted her head just enough to look up at him.

“Is it crazy that I wish she could be there?”

“Of course not. She’s your mother.”

“My insane, homeless, unpredictable mother who threw glass bottles at my head.”

Killian chuckled lightly. “True,” he tapped the green, cloth-covered notebook resting on the bedspread, “but I think reading her journal has given you a glimpse of the woman she was before. I think it’s made you realize, maybe for the first time, what you’ve lost.”

“That makes sense. I think I’m also worried that we haven’t heard from her in so long.”

Killian didn’t know what to say to ease her worries, so he cupped her face in his hand, tipped her chin up, and covered her lips with his. The kiss started gentle, intended simply to comfort, but then she responded so fervently and eagerly, that he lost himself. He shifted so she was beneath him, which caused a mewling sound to pass her lips that drove him wild. Emma slid her hand beneath his t-shirt, sending shivers up his spine as her fingers caressed his lower back. His hand grasped her waist, and his thumb slipped beneath the hem of her shirt. At the simple contact, Emma arched into him, and he began to trail kisses along her jawline. With one hand still on his back, her other hand threaded through his hair. She gasped when his lips trailed to the sensitive skin behind her ear, and something about the sound snapped him out of his haze of desire.

Killian pulled away abruptly and sat up, putting some distance between them. Emma still lay there on the bed, her face flushed, her hair splayed out on the pillows beneath her, a look of confusion marring her brow.

“I’m sorry, Emma,” he said thickly, fixing his own mussed hair with shaking hands.

“What for?” Emma asked indignantly, sitting up beside him. “We’re engaged.”

He turned to her and took her face gently in both hands. “I know. I love you, Emma, and I plan to cherish you. You deserve that. After everything you’ve been through, I’m not going to take you like this, hurried and frantic, thinking in the back of our minds that someone could interrupt us at any moment.”

Emma glanced sheepishly at the still open door and giggled. “Then close the door next time.”

He laughed with her and pulled her to him, holding her gently. He ran his fingers through her slightly tangled hair.

“I want to make love to you. Slowly. Thoroughly.”

Emma shivered in his arms. “Are you trying to torture me on purpose?”

He laughed again. “I feel a bit tortured, myself, truth be told. But we only have a week and a half. Then we’ll have the time and the privacy we deserve.”

“Time maybe. But privacy?”

Killian pulled the forgotten slip of paper from his pocket. “Yes, privacy.”

Emma snatched it from his hand, looking at it curiously as she settled in the middle of the bed with her legs crossed. “An address?”

“Our address,” he told her, grinning broadly.

“For real?” Emma’s eyes widened.

“For real.”

Emma squealed and threw her arms around his neck. He laughed as she peppered kisses all over his face.

“How?” she finally asked.

“There’s a professor of archaeology taking a sabbatical to do a dig in Greece. He told Liam he was looking for someone to take care of his house while he’s gone. So it’s ours. For free.”

“For free?”

Killian shrugged. “Well, there are also some maintenance things on the house I’m agreeing to do for him free of charge, but basically.”

Emma gazed in shock and happiness at the paper in her hands. “It’s too good to be true.”

“It’s fate.”

Emma’s eyes shone with happy tears as she looked back up at him. “It really is.”

Killian was ready to throw caution to the wind and press Emma back down into the pillows when Ingrid appeared in the doorway. He was worried what she would say, seeing him on Emma’s bed, but Ingrid seemed too ecstatic to notice.

“We’ve found her!” she told them.

“Who?” Emma asked.

“Your mom!”

#cs ff #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan fanfiction #cs au #cs impossible au #lieutenant duckling #modern fantasy #angst #cs angsty august #impossible au

37 notes · View notes

j-trow-95 · 1 month ago

Text

2024 in review

Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy and @nausikaaa

Wow. 2024 has been ... a year.

I've spent this last year flip-flopping between periods of intense creativity and intense burnout. I've barely posted anything on here, and even less over on AO3, but I have been writing, and the plot gremlins have been working overtime when it comes to planning out where the WIPs are going.

Object permanence and keeping timelines straight in my head are things I struggle with, so I can't remember exactly when I actually achieved any of these things, but I did, and that's all that matters.

Huge thanks as always to Ashton for the incredible artwork in this fic, and for the beta help along with my editor Zoë, @cutestkilla and @iamamythologicalcreature

I posted one chapter of The Trails We Blaze, my 2023 @carryonthroughtheages fic, which is a SnowBaz/The Road to El Dorado au.

Simon and Baz have been through a lot together. Growing up as criminals on London's streets; surviving the Great War; dealing with a lot of repressed feelings. But after their latest con goes wrong, they're left with nothing but an ancient map, a signet ring of unknown provenance or value, and promises of a city that doesn't even exist.

Thrust into a world of adventure with danger at every turn, they're forced to decide how far they're willing to go for a myth, a fortune, and a chance at love.

This fic is going to be a real labour of love and I have big plans for it going forward. If you haven't started it yet, here's what to expect:

adventure across post WW1 England, France, and Spain

exciting action

political machinations

idiots in love pining for each other

epic romance (when they eventually get their shit together)

I know roughly how this is going to end, and I have a first draft up to the 'It's Tough to be a God' sequence (if you know the original film), but I'm currently trying to rewrite a large section of that draft. Discovery writing has been a massive learning curve for me, but I'm excited to get back to this fic and the characters.

Again, massive thanks to Ashton for the stunning artwork of Lauren. I never stop geeking out over the fact I get to call this incredible woman my friend, and that I get to actually look at my chaos gremlin MC anytime I want!

Most of my time writing this year has been spent on approximately the billionth rewrite of my original novel, A Survivor's Revenge.

I am desperate to get this story into the hands of readers, whether that's though trad or indie publishing, and so far I've had good feedback from my editor and alpha reader on the previous draft. But me being me, I couldn't leave it at that.

So now I'm rewriting the book and completely changing the way it's written. The shift from 3rd person/past tense to 1st person/present tense has finally got things moving in terms of developmental edits; the plot flows more smoothly, character interactions and growth are coming more naturally, and for once the villain motivations and plans are becoming clear! Praise the chaos gods.

Lauren Atkins is many things. Student. Daughter. Friend. But at her core, she’s a survivor. And she has one thing on her mind … revenge.

For the lovers of genre spanning sci-fi, morally grey main characters, full spectrum queer identities, and found family, A Survivor’s Revenge will have you asking, how far are you willing to go to protect the ones you love?

I went back and looked at some super old drafts of ASR a couple of months ago; after a conversation with my alpha reader decided to reinstate an old plot line that I'd shelved, and I am super excited to get back to this one. Lauren has become even more morally grey since I last handled this plot line, so things are going to get very bloody very quickly.

So the last two months have been spend sporadically rewriting this behemoth, and I'll be continuing that into January. Originally I was doing this as part of the PaWriCo writing challenge, but I don't think I'll manage to finish the full draft by the end of January. Currently it's sitting at 27.3k words, and if I wanted to hit par I should've been at 65.2k. So, likelihood of hitting 100k by 31st January is minimal.

This little floof is largely the reason for me falling behind.

Benjamin has been back in the vets consistently since the end of November for scans and surgeries, and now for an ongoing infection following the most recent surgery. It's safe to say my nerves and wallet are strained to the maximum, but he's 100% worth it.

So yeah. 2024 may not have been the most productive year for writing, but things have been happening behind the scenes, and I'm hopeful that I'll be able to share more in the new year.

I've missed interacting with people on here, I'm tired of just lurking. This chaos gremlin is back, baby!

Tagging (sorry if you've already done something like this): @aristocratic-otter @blackberrysummerblog @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @emeryhall

@hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @letraspal @orange-peony

@shrekgogurt @skeedelvee @theearlgreymage @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

#original fiction #asr #espionage #science fiction #speculative fiction #a survivor's revenge #the trails we blaze #cotta2023 #snowbaz fanfic #1920s london #the road to el dorado!au #bun mum life #my writing #artsyunderstudy art

21 notes · View notes

seventeenlovesthree · 2 months ago

Text

Since I don't think I'll get to sit down to draw any more time-consuming pieces over the next two weeks, I thought about taking a look at how "well" my art has been doing this year.

I know, I know, I KNOW. Art shouldn't be measured by how "successful" it is. I shouldn't judge my progress by "the number of likes" or anything along those lines, but... Being an artist on tumblr has really left an impact on my self-esteem, especially because a lot of things, projects, challenges, doodles I've been invested in didn't cause much resonance at all. Which, considering how I'm mostly residing in a low-key fandom, shipping mainly ships that aren't exactly mainstream, makes perfect sense. So yes, one could say that I am a somewhat self-indulgent creator that, yes, mainly creates stuff for herself - and the 2-3 people who really enjoy my niche interests and are silent lurkers/rebloggers or scream into the tags void (you know who you are and I am incredibly thankful for you)!

But still, I couldn't help but wonder which were my most liked/reblogged art pieces of 2024 - including all posts of mine that got at least 100 notes. And it really turns out that there's been a pattern there: First of all, I am truly honoured, because the majority of these depict characters (and even series) I do NOT draw on a regular basis. So the fact that they still got so much attention makes me incredibly happy. Second of all, the majority of these are pieces that took several days, some even weeks to finish. Which, once again, gets me quite giddy, because it means that all the hard work paid off!

Last but not least - it gives an insight on how tumblr's fanbases work and that is just incredibly interesting to me. Characters/ships from "The Amazing Digital Circus" are pretty popular these days, especially because a new episode has been released just recently. When it comes to Digimon, it's not a loud fandom, there isn't exactly a lot of unity, but there certain niches for characters and ships alike that are unbelievably dedicated. Whether you take Takari - and Takeru and Hikari on their own -, Jyou or Yamato... You WILL find followers/enjoyers of those around once you look closely. I'm still relieved that one of my "main blorbos" and my "OTP" still made it into the top 10 - it still validates my personal dedication to keep these dorks alive and around, no matter what happens.

If you're interested in all the stuff I've been working on this year, check out my art masterpost and my general masterpost here.

Thank you so much for 2024!!!

#art summary #personal #my doodles #art #fanart #digimon #digimon adventure #tadc #the amazing digital circus #dgmn #also i really seem to like depicting characters with their eyes closed #and head bonking of course

18 notes · View notes

hush-house-yard-sale · 1 year ago

Text

The Hush House Card Catalogue

@baja-blasted @terephin (please ignore the crabs)

//So the software I'm using to keep track of my books, lore bits, etc. is called Seatable! It wasn't my first choice for this project, I'm more familiar with Airtable (I've used it professionally), but Airtable's free plan doesn't let you color-code :c

//Seatable is a website that looks a lot like google sheets, but instead of building a spreadsheet, you're building a database. I knew I wanted a database rather than a spreadsheet for my card catalogue because it became pretty apparent early on that a spreadsheet would mean a lot of duplicate entries and be a lot more work to maintain, as well as monumentally more work if I wanted to use it for reference.

//My database isn't finished, and so I'm not really comfortable making it public, but I'm happy to walk through some of the things that I like most about it, that made me choose to make a database rather than a spreadsheet.

//The main things that were really important to me was being able to have (and filter by) multiple items in the same column, having lots of cross-linking between the different sheets in the base, and having different views depending on what I was looking to reference.

//These are my different tables right now, and the way they work is that each table has the most detailed information on each item, e.g. Books has the most detail on books, and Skills has the most detail on skills. But I have columns in each table that allow me to crosslink between them.

//So for each book, I have listed the skill and memory they give, but instead of writing each out individually it links to the corresponding entry in skills/memories

//And then over in the memories tab it has all the detail on the aspects, which wisdoms it can be committed to...

//...and every book this skill can be found in and every item it can be used to craft. And those boxes can be expanded so they're easier to read as well!

//I can also group and sort things in different views. My default view for books, for example, splits them into two categories—whether I've read the book or not—and then sorts the books in each category alphabetically. But I also have one that groups them all by mystery and then sorts them from low to high, and I have another that groups them by topic. Each of these views also omits columns that aren't relevant to that particular view, for example, if I'm searching for books by mystery to give to a visitor, it's important to know the author because it's fun to give people books they themselves have written, but I don't really care about what memories that book gives, or when I'm trying to connect lore dots, it doesn't matter whether or not the book is cursed and I don't need to include books I haven't read yet (and thus don't have topic tags for). The rows on the topic one are also bigger so I can better read the blurbs.

//Well, the topic one actually groups by location, because when I group it by topic, it splits it into every combination of my topic tags, rather that giving me "here are all your books about the mansus" "here are all your books about Longs and Names" so I've stored them all in different places in the house depending on what books I think are relevant to one another.

//It's still in progress, I don't have everything written down yet, and I want more data for workbenches, and I want to try and see if there's a way for it to, say, auto-match skills/souls to workbenches for committing to the tree or crafting certain recipes. Also my color-coding is in shambles bc I'm waiting for a friend to recover from covid so that they can make me a greasemonkey script to make it a little less... corporate...

//But yeah! I like it a lot, and it works really well for my purposes. I highly recommend trying it out, and I'm happy to answer questions!

#Weather Factory #Book of Hours #Book of Hours Game #Cultist Simulator #Databases #ooc

105 notes · View notes

laufire · 10 days ago

Text

author ask tag

I was tagged a few days ago by @goldfinchwrites (ty!)

I've chosen to answer this based on "Underground Elysium", the novella I'm currently working on.

A visionary vampiress, belonging to a matriarchal society of vampires with praying mantis-like habits, saw the apocalypse as an opportunity to subjugate humanity and elevate her species in a new world order, after the outside world became inhospitable to humans. Between the choice of risking falling prey to the walking, rotting corpses that roam the exterior, and a life of servitude under the civilised blood-sucking monsters underneath, many submitted to the second option. Nonetheless, there’s those even among her own that don’t appreciates living under Lucretia’s iron fist; around every corner a conspiracy against her brews, right as election season approaches.

(here's a teaser)

What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?

I don't set out to do that when I write. I certainly use stories to comment on things and Elysium is no exception, but whether there's a lesson in it or what it is, I'll leave that for others to decide.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?

Although this one isn't a secondary-world story (with the exceptions of two of my larger 'verses, I've tried to move away from that), it's so so removed in setting and form to ours that I could do a lot of pick-and-choose with it. Two main influences have been Ancient Rome, Medieval politics, and insect biology LOL, for the vampiress society.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?

Lucretia's goal is to hold onto her hard-earned power, no matter what. My goal with her is to flesh out a driven, ambitious politician who genuinely managed (and continues to manage) to pull something incredible, miraculous, the kinds of blind spots that threaten to lead to a downfall, and the steps she'd take to handle it.

How many chapters is your story going to have?

It's a small cast, with Lucretia and Dana, the antagonist, at the center. Raina, Dana's daughter, who she's groomed to take power, would play the next most important part.

After that, the other relevant players are, in no particular order:

Constanza, Lucretia's busybody mother.

Graciela, Lucretia's human maid and personal entertainer (she's a violin player, Lucretia picks her first maids for their artistic talent).

Rivka, Head of Lucretia's Sentinels. Kind of a twisted queen and lionheart dynamic.

Zosia, the High Abbess/religious authority, often at odds with Lucretia.

Imogen, Dictator of the Magistrate, the highest judicial authority.

Anouk. The Token Male Vampirito Who Made it To Politics.

I've thought about adding a second male character lol. It'd defeat the purpose of a Token but I started thinking about how pissed Anouk would get if a more revolutionary vampirito was trying to get into politics now that he Broke The Glass Ceiling adsñlfajsf.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

This one is original content, though I still mostly write fanfiction these days. I don't have immediate plans to post it. Due to some IRL complications it'll take me a bit longer to finish it that I'd want (I wanted it to be at the end of March but it's looking to be a month longer), but by that point, first I'd ask some trusted mutual writers for feedback, and then I'd go from there.

When did you start writing?

The idea first started building around... three years ago? Thanks to a silly tumblr prompt where someone commented about vampires in a zombie apocalypse. I replied with the idea of a vampiric protection racket and it grew from there, much like Lucretia's empire lol.

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

I'm not good at encouragement LOL. One thing I'd say is to never take Writing Advice And Wisdom as absolutes, because a lot of them simply won't fit your writing. And as always, read a lot. From the genres and styles you want to write in, to see what works and what doesn't, and from others, that might help you hone in your craft.

I follow quite a few writers and I'm sure I'll forget more... feel free to take this as being tagged in for this game (and if someone tagged you already, this is just a shoutout :P)

@erensattacktitancock @pinespittinink @missbrunettebarbie @varpusvaras @hellispeacefullandempty @cypresssunns @blairwaldcrf @bombshellsandbluebells @asablehart

#tag game #writing woes #talking to the void #original stories #me me me

8 notes · View notes

bcbdrums · 1 year ago

Note

Given the fact that we were talking about our perceptions of certain kinds of ships in regards to Stein and how they suit or do not suit his character, how do you feel about smut/the relationship dynamics within Stein x character smut fics?

All righty then...! Here comes a very long rambling of my headcanons about Stein, his two primary relationships, and his relationship with those deeper intimacies. This takes some turns before it gets to the main point but well, I love talking about this man. Extremely long post under the cut.

Also - there are two blogs I tag at the very end of this post - you two feel free to ignore all my ramblings, just know I praise you both at the end and I still re-read your Soul Eater stories VERY regularly.

I'm truthfully still trying to reorganize my thoughts on this specific topic because 1) I have listened to many a headcanon from others on the subject and I always try to give validity to their thoughts even when they differ from mine, and 2) I've also read tons of smut fic with Stein out of sheer desperation for...well, Stein fic. (Come on Stein fandom where you at? Write me some gen fic too, lol)

I have not read too many fics of him with Marie cuz those always contain manga spoilers so I'm skipping those for now until I finish reading (exactly halfway through!). So what I've read is mostly Stein/Spirit smuts and just a couple with Marie, and I want to say….almost zero?? I think zero of those fics (and boy I've read plenty) have "hit the spot" in terms of what I would want for a Stein smut. They're good stories, in some cases great stories, well-written and thoughtfully conceived, but they're not fitting my headcanons and interpretations of who I see onscreen (and who I see in the manga so far).

All that said now… Some of my own relevant headcanons for him, and then I'll get more into fic of others.

I go back and forth toying with the idea that Stein experimented with intimacy just a little as a teen. He's not immune to puberty and hormones; he's human whether he likes it or not, which isn't to say mind over matter doesn't work for him. (Clearly it does, in staving off madness among other things.) But he's a scientist. He's curious. And I can see him justifying an experiment or two in his teen years. But they would in fact be just that, experiments. It's still a big maybe. I can't say for certain he would, it's the sort of thing like…if all the dots line up just right, he'd attempt it. If not, he wouldn't. And it would only be with those two people: Marie and/or Spirit. He doesn't trust anyone else enough. (Yes, I'm on board with the popular fanon that Marie was one of his other weapon partners after Spirit.)

Another teen headcanon... I can also easily see a sort of angsty distraction possibility for him. When he loses Spirit to Kami, I can see him getting into a "romantic" relationship with Marie as sheer distraction, and even misguided retaliation. Spirit "cheated" on him with another meister and abandoned him, so why shouldn't he do the same with another weapon? Which sucks for Marie but well she's not healthy about relationships any more than Stein or Spirit are. But this is just another sort of maybe-thought; another situation where all the dots would have to line up just right for him to go for it. But I can see it, no question, just like the prior thought.

As for Stein as an adult, at the point we see him in the show… While I think relationally he and Spirit have the most interesting dynamic to explore, the one he shows more openness toward is Marie. It's clear that he cares for her. And he doesn't fully understand that either. Now I don't think he wants to get into bed with her, or marry her, or anything traditional to a romance. But I also don't think Marie is going anywhere. Thinking post-anime now…. Unless he gives her a sign that there is nothing between them, I think she's staying put. But sadly for her, I think there is something between them... Sadly because, Stein doesn't know what it is, and it's not "love" the way that Marie wants it. It's just something he's unfamiliar with. Meanwhile she's devoted to him, poor woman.

Now, end of the anime… Let's talk about this…. Marie helps him back to sanity with her healing wavelength. But…then he's just "okay"? No he isn't. Look at that man. His dark circles are darker, his eyes are more haunted. That man has been living off madness and cigarettes for weeks. When is the last time he ate anything? Showered? Legitimately got any sleep?? How he's even standing up let alone fighting Medusa is beyond me, and then he performs freaking major surgery and then waltzes into the death room afterward like he's fine. Because...that's who Stein is.

Stein will fight until he is incapable of fighting anymore, to serve those he loves. Yes I said loves. And it is agonizing how much he strives to show his love for others, and it's something he doesn't even realize he has within him. He thinks he can't understand love? It's because he feels it so deeply and passionately it's beyond definition. Part of this however I'm also certain is motivated from his deep desire for purpose as an adult. The manga shows that aspect of his character even more-so than the anime (in what I've read so far). That man is desperate for purpose and to belong somewhere, with someone. He can't escape his human nature even if he doesn't understand it, can't define it, and even though it drives him crazy all on its own…

So bringing this back to Marie… End of the anime. I don't think Marie is leaving. She's gonna stay, help nurse Stein back to health and sanity despite his pretending he's fine (or perhaps even sheer ignorance of his condition), and Stein…is gonna be confused the whole dang time about his feelings for Marie. He knows he feels something but he has no idea what it is or how to process it. But "love" in the romantic sense he doesn't possibly consider, because well...his conceptions of that sort of thing aren't based in anything healthy (see: Spirit's relationships).

So yeah… She's not leaving. He won't reject her attentions because he does care about her, just not in a way he understands and also not in the way she wants. And as she starts to realize that he has some kind of feeling for her, I think she'd turn up the romance and she'd make a move on him. OR…she'd play the extremely...long...patient game, and wait for him to make a move on her, when it's within his comfort zone. And let me be clear… This man still does not know what love is in this traditional sense, does not understand love. He knows what physical attraction and hormones are and darn him he can't shake those either, but as an adult he wouldn't act impulsively on them nor would he confuse them with love. Stein is the ultimate master of mind over matter. If he were to sleep with her, it would be a choice; a decision he makes consciously and deliberately. I see this within the realms of possibility. But if he chooses it himself, if he's the one who makes that decision simply out of his wanting to…it would be a long, long time that that woman is waiting for him. But I do think it possible. The question is simply, how long will she wait. And she's also the type to try to stir things up (see: her behavior toward Joe in the manga). So who knows when they may end up in bed together... These dots are more complicated to align than those of his teenage years. And if Marie made the move first...I think he'd accept it. Because, see again, his wanting to belong with someone, and he knows he feels something different with Marie.

As for Spirit, well... Stein sees that Spirit likes women. And Stein sees that Spirit can't commit. I think Stein "loves" Spirit more than he loves Marie. First love, young love... Spirit is the relationship of his life, even though that's yet another thing he cannot possibly understand. I think that while part of him, the mad obsessive part, and the curious part, does want to be close to Spirit in the intimate way…it's not out of a healthy desire or even typical motivations. It would come from a desire to possess, from his deeply human but inexplicable yearning to be closer to the one he loves even though it's not the right type of love for that type of intimacy. Not really sure Spirit would be all-in if Stein were to make the move... I think Spirit would take persuading. It's another circumstance where all the dots have to line up just right, and in this case probably more while caught up in madness than in sanity. Because as previously mentioned… In his right mind, Stein knows that Spirit likes women and more importantly that Spirit cannot commit. And he's ironically smart enough to know not to attempt a traditional human romance with someone who cannot commit. I don't think Stein would himself attempt intimacy with Spirit in his right mind at all, unless something happened to make him utterly desperate not to lose the man... Another instance of, all those dots have to connect.

But ugh, the angst. Spirit abandoned him after five years... Stein is not going to willingly subject himself to possible heartbreak again. Plus, he does not think Spirit has forgiven him for the "experiments." I think he thinks Spirit only hangs around him now as an adult as his handler, despite desperately wanting his friendship again. But I think he figures it's a lost cause so he just takes what is offered and never pursues more.

Okay but before I digress further into my endless thoughts about Stein's and Spirit's relationship (I'll do another post for that maybe), back to the point of your question.

I am really not one for labels, partially because I don't understand them but also because I think the spectrum is just so deep and too much defies definition. But if I were to label him, I guess I'd go with...gray ace with demi leanings…?

The man is driven only by curiosity, about anything and everything. But the level of intimacy we're talking about is more than he ever wants to trust anyone with. It's always gotta be on his terms, and more often than not…his terms would be unhealthy.

So let's talk about what shows up in fanfic, since that was what the original question was about. And once again, I like to lend validity to everyone's interpretation. Just because it isn't mine doesn't mean it's wrong or shouldn't exist. But you did ask about MY thoughts, so that's what I'm sharing here.

Once again, I've barely touched Stein/Marie fic because I'm avoiding manga spoilers. In the one or two I've seen, he comes across as not connecting emotionally in the typical way, but knowing that there is indeed something different about being with her. He knows she cares about him, and he cares in return. But it doesn't come across as anything intimate on his side of it. This isn't a characterization I particularly like, because Stein as an adult... As I said, I think he'd choose that intimacy if and when he wants it. In the stories, it comes across more as him just doing her a favor, just going along. It doesn't sit right. But like I said, that's only two stories. For other Stein/Marie, I reserve opinion for later.

Stein/Spirit... Okay. I've noticed a great many commonalities in the fics I've read. And this isn't a taste or preference thing; like I said I have devoured almost every smut fic just in desperation for any fanfic of them. Would prefer more gen fic less smut personally, but anyway.

Most fics have Stein in the dominant role, Spirit in the submissive role. I understand that interpretation but it's not how I see them. I see them as equals if they were to get into that type of intimacy. There is often a lot of bloodplay, frequently madness on Stein's part, major instances of non-con, pet play, BDSM, sometimes light cannibalism... It all suggests an impersonal and unhealthy relationship most of the time, which again...is not at all how I see them if they were to become a couple. Could such things come about? Unhealthily, possibly. But darn me and my desire for happy endings.

These two men are so broken, that if they were to become a healthy couple...I feel like it would be slow, cautious...extremely hesitant. There is extreme distrust on both sides, and also misconceptions about how the other feels. Which...I will save that analysis for later. Focusing back on smut fic.

I have seen only a few that touch on the give and take in a trusting relationship (all by the same author) that come closest to what I feel is accurate to the characters onscreen as I see them, but still the emphasis is too much on lust. It still isn't hitting the spot for me due to a lack of that relational development... Make no mistake, the stories are great, but I personally am hoping for something much deeper.

In my view, Stein just does not seek out physical intimacy in that way. I don't think he can fully escape the innate human need for touch, but in terms of a drive to get into bed with anyone... I think the occasional human desire for it crops up, and he easily ignores it/packs it away because it's not useful to him. It doesn't bother him. He doesn't think about it.

So this is where that...gray-ace, demi vibe comes into play for my view of him. Talking about Stein here as an adult and in control of himself, not consumed by madness... This is I supposed a bit of a summation of my thoughts.

If he did get into a relationship with anyone (and again I think his only choices are Spirit and Marie), it would not be based on the physical at all. I also don't think he would rush into any relationship. It would be a long process before he trusted the person enough to consider them a romantic partner. And really, we could get away from the word romance entirely... Life-partner is a better word, in Stein's case. If the person wanted physical intimacies, I think he would be responsive to that. The other person would be in the lead, but in no way dominating. It would have to be an equal trust thing or else Stein would nope out hard. Stein would gradually learn what it is he likes physically, and how to give his partner what they want. He can come to enjoy it because this is his life-partner, the one he belongs with, the one who needs him and is part of his purpose. But again...the physical is not something that drives him at all. Not in how I see him portrayed onscreen or in the manga.

So, overall, in my point of view nearly all smut fics miss the mark. Now...the stories I've seen where I think the physical intimacy is nailed don't even get to smut. Those are the stories by @asymmetryestablished (AO3 NothingSoDivine) and their characterizations of Stein and Spirit defy description in any words I have. The other author who nails it is @wispforever (same on AO3) and the closest to physical intimacy they get is dancing, but my gosh still the characterizations are utter perfection. I will be re-reading y'all's Stein/Spirit stories forever.

I hope I did in fact answer your question, but overall, I was delighted to just spill out so many of my thoughts about Stein even if in summary form. Yes this was a summary... Okay. I'm done. Thanks.

#soul eater #franken stein #spirit albarn #marie mjolnir #stein #spirit #death scythe #crossstitch #steinspirit #spiritstein #steinmarie #stein x marie #stein x spirit #spirit x stein #headcanons #ask answer

20 notes · View notes

obsidian-metalhead · 5 months ago

Note

I made a comic strip the other day. I'm trying to photocopy it off in order to make the lines a lot darker to show up more online. I posted the first draft already. When I finish tinkering around with the final draft I will post it and tag you in it.

I wanted to ask, how is it being a guy? Are you happy?

I’m definitely more comfortable as myself. I don’t feel like a gay man trapped in a woman’s body as often. Still have a lot of the same interests aside from the normal loss of interest in a few things and the normal pick up of interests in other things. There’s not a huge difference in being a man vs being a woman. People think I’m younger than I am due to my height so I don’t get treated much differently from strangers, there’s little to note on that, other than the fact I’ve been catcalled way more often. And people do look at me funny no matter how plain I dress. I’ve started wearing whatever I want since it’s not like I get all that different stares whether I’m wearing a crop top or a Pokémon shirt. So I wear “girlier” clothes than I used to from time to time. I still haven’t had any surgeries, I’m still going to be looking for a doctor that doesn’t leave me looking like a gutted fish. I’m still at the same number as friends when we met but it’s not too bad since I can keep myself busy with art and watching dumb YouTube drama lol. Trying to think of what all to say haha. But really the main difference is feeling more like myself. Deeper voiced and very hairy lol. Life’s the same but different like I was wearing the wrong sized shoes but I’ve finally grown into them somehow.

I look forward to seeing your comic I’ve been enjoying seeing your creativity. It’s been nice seeing art differently, it actually spurs ideas out for me, gives me a new thought.

#friends #catch up #life

3 notes · View notes

dantent · 5 months ago

Text

Chapter 4 - You Won't Believe What Just Happened (Silco x OC)

Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence

A couple days went by since Jinx's last visit. Ren got back into their routine in the meantime. The brothel was the same as ever, blooming with customers, which only meant more money for the mechanic. Babette paid them truly fairly with all the work they were doing for the brothel. Over the last month Ren was able to somewhat befriend most of the workers, and often decided to join them outside to smoke. Sometimes people thought Ren was a worker as well and requested their services. Now, Ren certainly didn't have a lot of fun in Piltover, so they often indulged those who asked them.

Today was just like any other day, spending their break by smoking outside with their co-workers. The Undercity was dark as ever, only being lit by the countless green neon lights. One could barely tell so deep down if it was daytime or nighttime, and sometimes it truly didn't matter in Zaun. This life certainly had it's own appeal, or perhaps everyone in Zaun was so accustomed to it that they couldn't imagine a different life. Ren had seen what life is like with the pilties but the Undercity always remained their home. No matter how many years they spent on top, a part of them wished to see their home.

If you looked hard enough, you could find some form of unity among fissure-folk. The way bartenders weren't to be messed with because everyone in the bar would fight for the person who pours the drinks. Or perhaps the way zaunites stood together against the discrimination from the enforcers. Even some of their traditions proved that Zaun did indeed have unity among the residents. Standing outside and smoking in front of a brothel without being disturbed could also be counted as a proof because no one messes with the sex workers.

"So you remember the girl I was telling you about, right? The one I met at the market." one of the workers tore Ren out of their thoughts.

"The one with the mullet?" asked another.

"Yes, the very same!"

The twins - Sera and Oskar - engaged in a very enthusiastic conversation. Both of them had the same fair, almost doll-like complexion that Ren found absolutely fascinating. They even wondered whether or not the two wore some sort of masks while working. But their faces weren't the only thing almost too pure for Zaun. The twins enjoyed dressing in lighter colors, making them look as elegant as a piltie. Ren supposed that this fact was the main reason the twins were so popular with piltie customers.

"What about her?" Oskar questioned his sister.

"I finally gathered the courage to ask her on a date." she smiled, earning a gasp from her brother.

"No way!" the boy laughed in a high-pitched voice. "Someone actually wants to date you? I'm surprised."

"Oh, you!" Sera punch him in the arm, before continuing her story. "So, the date went really well, thank you for asking."

"Maybe you scared her so much she was afraid of saying no to you." Oskar turned away from his sister to hide his smile.

"Quit it!" she rolled her eyes. "She asked me on another date! Not me! That's what I was trying to say."

The boy huffed a laugh as he congratulated his sister. Ren did the same, asking some further questions about the date to not seem impolite. Sera was always very talkative so she kindly told both of them every detail of that night. What mattered was that the girl made her happy, so her brother approved of the two. There was, of course, the usual "if she hurts you I will kill her" monologue but besides that they continued the teasing.

Besides the occasional conversations and smoking breaks, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Ren finished all their tasks for the day and decided to head home when the janitor from the next shift came into the brothel. The mechanic wished them good luck before heading out. Ren had a habit of going on different routes each day to make it harder to ambush them. Were they sure that it was going to happen? No, but it's better safe than sorry.

Inside their apartment Ren locked the door and placed a chair just under the doorknob. They could be called paranoid but anyone would do this in their place; not like it was unusual for people in Zaun to do this. After securing their apartment, they dragged themselves to the kitchen area and made a fast meal. Pushing the hung up punching bag out of the way, they finally got to the couch and started eating. It wasn't exactly a healthy meal but it was good enough to keep them alive. The only thing Ren heard besides the faint noises as the spoon hit their plate, was the usual commotion outside; but that became silent after the first week or so and they just got used to it.

Before them, the punching bag swung around from the previous move. Ren watched it as they ate from the cereal bowl in their lap. They purchased the punching bag not too long ago, determined to get stronger and increase their chances at survival. Oftentimes, they walked over to the broken mirror on the wall after a workout and checked if they got any more muscular. The mechanic wasn't seeing much progress but their co-workers have complimented them before, so surely it was working. Not that they expected to get muscular all of a sudden; they knew it wasn't that easy, but they hoped it would happen fast.

Many attacks occurred at the brothel and Ren often had to step in and protect the others, which also meant that they got themselves beaten countless times. Ren was no bodyguard by any means, but years of lifting heavy weights at the workshop made them strong enough to stand their ground. But not even that made them as muscular as they needed to be to survive. Gaining muscles not only meant that less people would mess with them but it also made them less likely to recognize. Back in their childhood Ren was rather a skinny kid and the person they ran from only remembers that scared kid, not a muscular mechanic.

The apartment was far too quiet for their liking, with almost zero entertainment besides the few books they found either in the trash or at a low price on the market. Ren was never much of a reader but even their standards were higher than some of the things they had found in the trash. This is one of the main reasons they either spent their time in the brothel or at a bar. Given that they worked a night shift today, going to a bar was out of question. They had a place in mind though.

Once they finished their meal, Ren took their keys and left the apartment. As soon as they were out of the building, they were hit with the bustling Undercity. Everyone hurrying about, talking loudly and laughing at each other. Ren watched as some people took turns to drink from a bottle as they stood in an alley, talking about whatever. Just down the block, a tattoo artist was opening up while people stood at his door. Kids ran around with a hefty pouch in their hands, no doubt stolen from one of the passersby.

The mechanic still remembered the way and they got to the workshop as usual. Ren stopped in their tracks once they saw the familiar shop sign. This was the last piece of their past in Piltover they had not buried yet. It was foolish of them to seek out the shop but they wanted to let Piper and her dad know that they were alright. As the owner of the shop, Mazen surely knew about the explosion and Ren didn't want to leave him wondering if they died in the flames as well. So they gathered all their courage and stepped inside.

Ren and Mazen made eye contact as they walked inside. For a moment, neither of them said anything. Clearly, the owner was shocked that the mechanic came back and Ren didn't quite know what to say. So both of them stood there for a couple seconds, before the backdoor opened and with a loud gasp, Piper ran straight to the mechanic.

"Ren!" she screamed as she jumped in their arms.

"Hey munchkin." Ren chuckled as they lifted her up and spun around, earning a giggle from her.

"I knew you'd be back! I told dad!" Piper jumped around once she was put down. She excitedly looked in her dad's direction.

"Ren." Mazen nodded as he came closer. He was taller than them, not surprisingly since Ren was quite short.

"Mazen." the mechanic returned the gesture.

"Why don't you go back to your room, Pip?" the man smiled at his daughter. "I have something to discuss with Ren."

"But-"

"No buts, princess. This is adult stuff." he shook his head.

"Fine." the girl pouted before walking away. She glanced at her dad one last time before disappearing behind the door.

As soon as she left, Mazen let out a tired sigh. He turned to Ren and the mechanic felt a certain coldness wash over them. They knew when they weren't wanted somewhere but the feeling still stung. For a moment Mazen watched the mechanic silently.

"What happened?" he finally decided to ask.

"Besides the shop blowing up?" Ren chuckled but it left a sour taste in their mouth. Their smile soon was wept from their face when Mazen didn't laugh along. "I was the only one who survived and because of my heritage here in Zaun-"

"They framed you?" the man snorted before looking away. He shook his head, deep in thought.

"Well, not really." they tried explaining. "The sheriff knew I was innocent but he said that the pilties were uncomfortable so... I was sent away."

"Back to Zaun?" he finally turned back. "Isn't the whole reason you left the Undercity the fact that you will die if you stay here?"

"Yeah, that." Ren gently rubbed their robotic hand while speaking. "Uhm, I'm unsure how much time I have left until. Well. My past catches up."

Mazen nodded. His face looked confident, yet the look in his eyes broke Ren's heart. It was cold. Colder than they had ever seen it. Ren knew what was about to be said but they hoped that their tired expression and knitted eyebrows could convince the man otherwise.

He put his hand on their right shoulder and squeezed just enough so they could feel it. "Listen to me, Ren. You're a good kid. You work hard to stay alive in this cruel world but still find it in yourself to be kind to the innocent. Don't ever let the Undercity take this from you."

There was a pause.

"But?" Ren whispered.

"I don't know what you got yourself into when you fled but it could be a danger to me, and more importantly to my daughter." Mazen sighed. "I truly hope that one day you will find a way to leave the past behind but until then, please don't come to us."

Ren expected the words but they still hurt. They knew it was for the best, of course. But a part of them, still hurt from having to start their life over, wanted to hold onto the last bit of memories they had. It was a childish wish, one they knew very well wouldn't be granted. Yet they still wished they wouldn't have to let go of Mazen and Piper.

"I understand." they managed to say. Ren truly understood; if the person who was looking for them found out how close they were to the family, they would be his prime target.

Mazen gave them a final squeeze before letting go. "I'm sorry, Ren. I hope you find a place to belong to."

With that, Mazen turned away and walked behind the counter. Ren nodded, more to themselves than anything, then turned around left the shop. Their footsteps were frantic and hurried, not even acknowledging those they bumped into. When they finally arrived home, they simply tossed the keys on the table and sat down on the couch. They buried their face in their hands as they tried taking deep breaths to calm themselves down. But it wasn't helping. In a fit of rage, they stood up and started punching the bag in front of them as hard as they could. Ren didn't quite know how much time had passed but by the time they stopped, there were clear bruises on their right knuckles and their robotic hand felt soar.

Ren flopped on the bed, defeated. They were tired. So tired. Not just because of being awake all night but by constant course of their life. It didn't matter what they wanted or how much they worked for it; in the end it was all taken from them. None of it was fair. All of this made Ren feel like whatever or whoever they got close to, would be taken away from them again and again. Without end. It exhausted them to no end; and within minutes they fell asleep.

Everything hurt as their feet touched the ground again and again. Ren bumped into a trashcan but it didn't matter; they couldn't stop running. They held their left hand in the other, squeezing it. A red liquid flew down their arm, leaving trails behind them. They breathed heavily, each breath almost sounding like a small scream from their mouth.

Heavy footsteps followed behind but Ren wouldn't dare to turn back. All their mind could think of was to run and never stop. Yet the streets seemed never ending. With each turn they took, they just entered another long alley. They almost fell over their own feet but caught themselves just in time. With a quick glance, they looked at their left hand. A giant cut stood between the middle and ring finger. It started from the middle of their palm and completely severed the connection between their fingers. Were they not holding it together, they hand would quite literally fall apart.

They sobbed as they ran. Ren didn't quite know what hurt more, the cut in their hand or knowing who did it. With a gulp they looked up again and to their horror, it seemed they didn't move one bit for the past minutes. They could hear the footsteps getting closer and closer, and louder than before. No matter how hard they tried to run, their feet moved but they were staying in one place. Ren let go of their damaged hand and tried to hold onto the wall and drag themselves forward, but everything seemed to get further away from them. Almost as if the walls moved away.

Footsteps so loud they could be a giant's came up just behind them. "Found you."

Ren woke up at that exact moment. With a loud gasp they sat up on the couch and looked around, their fist clenched to defend themselves. Yet the only thing they saw was their dark apartment, only being lit up from the neon lights outside. The mechanic reached to their chest, feeling the insane pumping of their heart. Ren tried taking deep breaths to calm themselves down. They glanced at their left hand, intact thanks to the robotic parts. Sometimes they still felt the pain of that night. Ren reached out to rub their hand, but a loud banging at their door stopped them in their track.

The mechanic waited for a second, trying to decide if they heard it right. When they were just about to calm down, another loud banging came. Ren stood up quickly and rushed to the kitchen, grabbing the biggest knife they could find. Then they slowly approached the door. Another banging came. It sounded like whoever was standing outside was getting impatient. Ren slowly walked to the door, careful not to be heard by the person. Once they arrived, they got on their tip toes and stared through the peephole. They only saw a few blue strands of hair from this angle. Ren sighed when they realised who was standing outside and unlocked the door immediately.

"Finally!" Jinx exclaimed and slipped through the opening as soon as she could. She closed the door with her foot, not even looking back at it. "What took you so long?"

"I just woke up Jinx," Ren rubbed their closed eyes, "I'm sorry I made you wait."

"Wha'?" her head whipped around, glaring at the mechanic with those big blue eyes of hers. "Dad says it's not good to sleep in the daytime."

"Your dad is right," they nodded, "mostly."

"Mostly?" she tilted her head.

"I work night shifts sometimes." they shrugged. "When I do that, I have no chance but to sleep in the daytime."

"Hmmm, pops often works at night as well but I never see him sleep." she thought to herself. "Oh, whatever. Old man barely ever does anything healthy for himself. And he's the one who always scolds me for not being healthy! Can you imagine?"

She began to ramble again, as she so often did. Ren just smiled to themselves and listened to her. Jinx was talking about how many times her dad told her to eat healthier and how hypocritical he was. As any teenage girl would, Jinx also felt the need to rebel against her father at any given moment. The mechanic could tell that she had a lot of admiration for her dad but still enjoyed to oppose him. Both of them moved over to the couch to get more comfortable. As the girl started yet another story, it occurred to Ren that they never told the her where they lived.

"Jinx, hold up for one second." they stopped her.

She shut up immediately like someone who has been caught doing something they shouldn't be. "Wha'?"

"I never told you where I live." Ren stated it as a fact.

"Well, duh." Jinx rolled her eyes. "I have my ways, silly."

"Did Babette tell you?"

"Nah, she wouldn't tell me even if I held a gun to her head." she laughed, resting her head on one of the pillows.

"Then how-"

"You're asking so many boring questions today." she groaned.

Ren sighed. It was clear that Jinx wasn't willing to tell. The mechanic made the decision not to press any further because they were afraid to scare her away. Ren really needed someone here with them, especially after their nightmare. Which they tried very hard to forget but it would take time.

"Why did you come here then?" they tried to change the subject.

"Why did I come?" she wondered to herself. Jinx genuinely seemed to forget for a second, before her mouth formed an 'oh' and her head excitedly whipped to Ren. "Right! I need your help with something! Back home."

"At your house?" Ren's eyes widened. "Jinx I don't think this-"

"You promised!" she yelled while pointing at them. They did, in fact, promise her that they'll help whenever she needed it. "You said you will always help me with mechanic stuff!"

"Yes but-"

"No buts!" Jinx shook her head before laughing. "Hah, butts..."

All of a sudden, she lunged at Ren and grabbed their right arm. Before they could say anything, Jinx was already dragging them to the door. They barely managed to get the keys and lock the door because Jinx was pulling on them. When they finally got out of the building, the girl started running, hand in hand with Ren. The mechanic didn't quite know what to do so they just went along with her plan.

The two passed a few streets, almost knocking up everyone in their way. Ren apologised to as many people as they could before being dragged further. Jinx was laughing all the way, just like any kid would. In a way, this reminded the mechanic of their childhood. Always running around in the Lanes, laughing in the face of enforcers. Kids don't understand what's truly at stake when doing this but right at that moment, every zaunite child feels free. Freedom is what most children craved in the Undercity, and this was one of the few ways they could experience it.

However, Ren started to become suspicious when they saw The Last Drop getting closer. Jinx seemed to be going straight to the bar. The mechanic blinked in shock when the girl basically jumped through the door. None of the guards stopped her, or even batted an eye at her sudden appearance. As soon as they stepped inside, Ren panicked and tore themselves away from the blue haired girl. Jinx turned back, raising her eyebrow at the mechanic.

Once they felt brave enough to glance away from the girl, Ren looked around. The bar wasn't exactly up to their expectation. Multiple things seemed to be hanging from the ceiling, clearly broken off. There were countless broken tables and the paint on the wall got chipped off. Ren also noticed a few red spots about - most likely blood. The overhead lights were dim and radiated a sort of warmth but the neon lights - that were no doubt being used at night, when the bar is bustling with customers - were flickering.

Heavy footsteps came from the stairs leading upstairs - probably connected to the balcony that looked over the club. Ren felt the need to run away, but Jinx has already grabbed them again. She pulled them further inside. Soon the person descending on the stairs appeared. A tall woman with a poncho over her left arm came into view. The woman stopped in her tracks when she laid eyes on Ren.

"Jinx, who the fuck is this?" she motioned at them with her right arm.

"Ugh, just leave us alone." Jinx rolled her eyes.

The woman let out a grunt before stepping closer to the mechanic. Ren had to fight every muscle in their body not to appear scared. Those who looked afraid were the primal targets of Zaun. She looked them over, her eyes judging every inch of them.

"Don't make me ask again." she leaned down, to get closer to their face. The woman definitely knew how imposing she was because she used her entire body to make Ren feel trapped.

"I'm Ren." they meant to say it with a confident voice but it came out as a rather quiet sentence.

"Ren, huh?" she snorted. "I don't remember hiring you."

"Well yes, because they are working for me!" Jinx yanked them closer to her.

"You can't bring strays to the Drop." she pinched the bridge of her nose before looking at the girl with piercing eyes.

"Silco said I'm the one who'll fix the bar. This is my helper." the girl smiled mischievously. "So walk away, Sevika. Don't want to make pops angry, do ya?"

Ren slowly turned their head to Jinx. She was having a staring contest with the woman - Sevika. But Ren's eyes widened more than ever. They were such a fool to not make the connection before. The girl they seemed to befriend was none other than Silco's daughter. Babette had warned them to stay away and Ren absolutely didn't have a death wish. The mechanic gathered all their courage and cleared their throat. Sevika whipped her head to them, slightly squinting her eyes.

"I don't want any trouble, so I will just lea-"

"No!" Jinx yelled. "Dad told me that I can use anything to get the bar back in shape. Ren is my helper. Suck it up."

Sevika groaned before turning away and walking to the bottles of alcohol. "Whatever, but don't come to me when they fuck something up. Silco's gonna kill them."

Jinx smirked before dragging Ren away. The mechanic wasn't okay with how their fate was decided but it wasn't as if they could argue against it. Jinx was the daughter of Silco - the King of the Undercity. One bad word to her could have them dead. Ren didn't know how to get out of this, and if they knew anything about Chem-baron business - which they knew plenty of -, they weren't going to succeed in that easily.

The girl brought Ren to a music box, that seemed to be broken. It had a big dent in the front, clearly being kicked or punched multiple times. Next to it was a box full of tools. They were all painted with neon colors, often made to look like an animal. The box itself had a big monkey head painted on it in pink. Jinx excitedly turned to the mechanic and they looked at her with knitted brows.

"So this is the first thing I need your help with." she pointed at the machine. "Thing's completely jammed and I just cannot get it open. I'm not even sure how I should fix it."

"Jinx." they whispered.

"But I'm sure you can figure it out." she waved her hand dismissively. "With that big, smart head of yours and whatnot."

"Jinx."

"Wha'?" the girl groaned and let her head fall back.

"You didn't tell me your dad was Silco." Ren tried being as quiet as they could be.

Jinx fell silent for a moment, before she raised her head and looked back at Ren. Her face looked younger and her eyes seemed more glossy than usual. "Do you not like me anymore?"

Ren could barely hear her voice, which surprised to no end since Jinx was the liveliest person they ever met. They had realised that they accidentally hurt her feelings, so they sighed and put their right hand on her shoulder.

"Of course I still like you, Jinx." they smiled down at her. "It's just that your dad..."

"I know." she looked down at her shoes and started playing with her hands behind her back. "I'm sorry I kept it from you."

Ren nodded. "It's... okay." It wasn't really okay but they didn't want to further upset the girl. She was still young and they doubted she fully understood what her dad was really doing. Besides, a rather selfish part of them didn't quite want to let go of the girl who seemed to be the only close friend they had. Not after being sent away from the workshop.

"Don't leave. Please." Jinx looked back up again with puppy eyes.

"I won't." the words came from their mouth before they could even think.

Jinx's entire face changed in a span of seconds. From sad child, she turned into an excited teenager. She reached for the box and giddily gave it to Ren. They took it from her with an uncertain smile.

"I have some other boring stuff to do." her entire body swayed when she said 'boring'. "So work on this. Please?"

"Okay, I'll see what I can do." Ren nodded and turned to the ruined machine.

Jinx hopped away with a few giggles. Ren could see from the corner of their eye that Sevika was staring at them intently. They decided to ignore her and get straight to work. It might have been the best decision, given that they were sure this woman could easily beat them in a fight. And they also wanted to get done with this as soon as possible.

So they checked out the damage on the machine. The front of it was definitely unsalvageable but the rest they could work with. After a few minutes of loosening up the metal, they were able to take it off and get a better look at the inside. They saw that a record was caught up in a some of the gear, making it bend in spiral. It hurt to look at the damaged record but they knew they couldn't save it. Thankfully the rest of the machine was relatively easy to fix. Only a few parts gave them a headache but it certainly wasn't the worst they've ever seen. Ren could save most of the records and was able to get it to play songs.

They reported to Jinx, who was working on some of the neon lights. She gladly showed them the other things she needed help with and Ren got to work. Soon the girl finished on the other side of the bar and joined Ren in fixing up the lights under the bar counter. Ren asked what happened to the bar to become it's current state - since they assumed this wasn't it's original state. The girl explained that a fight broke out and the patrons almost destroyed everything before Sevika and the rest of the staff put them out. A part of Ren felt bad for the staff but a more logical part of them was even more terrified of Sevika now.

Fixing the light underneath seemed quite the trouble. Unfortunately, Jinx had to run out with Sevika, not that they wanted to spend time with each other. So Ren was left alone in the bar; well as alone as they could be with the guards outside the Drop and that one guard who stood in front of the stairs. With a little thinking, Ren figured it must've been the way up to Silco. Not that they wanted to find out what was up there. The mechanic continued their work, hoping to get out of here alive.

Some time later, when Ren was close to fixing all the issues with the lamps, they heard the entrance open and close. They assumed Sevika and Jinx returned, but was surprised when the girl didn't run up to them. However Ren did feel someone step next to them, but before they could turn towards the person, a voice called out.

"And who might you be?" the voice was deep and husky. It sounded like nothing Ren heard so far.

The mechanic jumped at the sudden noise and promptly hit their head in the edge of the counter. Their right hand shut up to their head as they turned around with a hiss. A man stood next to them, in fancy red clothing. Golden edges trimmed his vest, coat and even his boots. His seagreen eye was quite the contrast of his clothes. Ren could only see the right side of his face from this angle but he looked like a refined man with that sept back dark hair of his. He was lazily leaning his back to the edge of the counter, his arm resting on top of it. The mechanic assumed this was one of the people Silco worked with, since the telltale weird eye they heard about could not be seen on his face.

"Uhm, I'm Ren." they nodded in his direction and turned back to working.

"Ren, hm?" he pressed further.

"I'm here with permission, if you're wondering." Ren cleared that, with a firm motion of their hand. They didn't need to be caught up in whatever business besides helping Jinx. Especially not if this is a Chem-baron standing next to them. Thankfully Ren didn't recognize who this was, and it seemed the man didn't know them either.

"With whose?" his voice seemed to darken. Ren wasn't sure how he was able to achieve that.

"Jinx's." they gulped. Ren could feel the man's stare on their back but they weren't going to show fear. They tried ignoring his presence to get done with the lights. "She asked me to help with fixing the damaged machines and stuff."

"So you're the mechanic she keeps talking about?" the man hummed.

"I suppose?" they continued working. "I didn't know she was talking about me."

Ren seemed to find the last issue with the cables and began fixing it. The man didn't leave but they could hear him pour a drink for himself. It was rather unsettling to be watched while working but Ren knew how to block him out. Not that it was hard, when they got lost in their work the outside world barely existed.

"Does the concept of the owner's permission not exist anymore, I wonder?" the man put his drink back on the counter.

"I just hope Jinx asked him." Ren sighed.

Silence followed their answer. The mechanic wasn't sure if it was a good sign or not but they didn't plan on staying long enough to figure out. Once they were done with the lights, they could head to the dj mixer and fix that. When that's done, they're out of here. Hopefully Jinx would never ask them to return again.

"Tell me then, mechanic, what did you fix?" the man leaned closer to them, his voice becoming lower.

Ren pointed to the music machine without looking. "Fixed that. The front has to be replaced but other than that it's working. Oh, and I wasn't able to save three records but the rest are fine. Now I'm working on these and waiting for Jinx to return."

"I see." he hummed.

As if by magic, the lights turned back on right at that moment. Ren smiled and put the lid back on the cables before standing up. They admired their work with their hands grabbing their hips. Once they looked everything over, they turned to the man.

"Well, this is done as well it-" their voice died in their throat when they saw the rest of his face. A scarred eye stared back at them menacingly. Ren's smile slowly faltered as they realised just who they have been talking to. They were such a fool for not realising it sooner.

Silco seemed to notice the sudden change in their behaviour, as the corner of his mouth quirked up slightly. "Good. You have some use then."

He was way taller than Ren but barely had any muscles on him. That much was clear even with his big coat on. Yet he was even more imposing than Sevika. Silco had an aura around him that just stroke fear into anyone. Certainly the horrific stories about him also helped his case. Even in his rather relaxed state, Ren couldn't help but feel trapped in a cage with a predator.

"And how much did Jinx promise you for this?" he reached for his drink, playing with the edges of the glass.

A second passed, Ren simply too shocked to answer. They only gathered the courage when Silco's eyes shot down at them. "I promised to help free of charge, sir."

"Sir? I wonder where you gathered the respect all of the sudden." he turned his body in a way that only his damaged eye was visible to Ren.

"I apologise, I didn't realise-"

"Yes, that much I gathered." he took a sip of his drink. "I would appreciate such honesty with your purpose here as well. How much?"

"I told the truth, sir." Ren stood their ground. It was technically the truth, since they never charged Jinx with anything, although for a job like this they definitely should've. But they did not want to be associated with Silco in any way, shape or form. Accepting money from him would put an even bigger target on their back.

"No one works for free." Silco fully turned his head to the mechanic.

"Well, technically I'm not working." they rambled while rubbing their left hand. "I just... fulfilled a promise."

Silco watched them silently for a moment. It was as if he was trying to read their mind. Ren felt uneasy under his gaze but didn't break the eye contact. After a couple seconds, Silco was content enough and looked away, finishing his drink. He slammed down the glass, making Ren slightly jump. The corner of his mouth quirked up just for a moment.

"I'm sure that you wouldn't mind reporting to me once you're done with your promise." with that he left.

Ren watched him walk upstairs, not even glancing at the guard by the stairs. The mechanic turned around in horror when they were sure Silco disappeared. They ruffled through their hair and looked for the dj machine Jinx told them about. With slow steps, they walked over to the machine and began inspecting it.

Oh, how they knew they were in trouble. Silco knew who they were now. Knowing their name wasn't exactly the best possibility but many Rens existed in the Lanes, however he saw their face. And even worse, Jinx knew where they lived. Jinx knew where they lived. It had just dawned on them, if the girl knew, no doubt her dad did as well. Whatever happened now, they could easily be found and be taken care of. Babette had warned them. And yet they didn't heed the warning. But who would've thought that helping a child out would turn into this.

Ren got to work, trying to fix the machine but their thoughts were racing through their mind. Nothing they did could get them out of this. The thing about Chem-barons is that once you're associated with them, it's nearly impossible to get away. It was exactly what Ren had done a decade ago and it cost them everything. But Silco was more powerful than the person they were running from. Maybe he would be able to reach them even in Piltover. So shortly, nowhere was safe anymore.

They spent the next half hour in silence, working on the dj machine. Most of it was totally ruined and Ren made a note to report it back to Silco, since they could only do so much without proper replacement tools. They only received a couple scrap metals that were in Jinx's box. Of course, when they weren't actively paying attention to the machine, they were thinking about their situation. The only thing that stopped them from it was when Jinx and Sevika came back with some equipment.

"I'm back!" Jinx exclaimed, running up to Ren. "You finished the lights already? Oh nuts, thought I could still work on that. Anyway, how is the mixer looking?"

"Uh, not good." Ren whispered, their voice strained from the stress.

"What's with you?" she asked just as Sevika dropped down a box of metal, screws and other helpful parts next to them. Ren jumped at the loud noise.

"Break these and I'll break your neck." the woman shot them a piercing look before walking to the stairs to ascend to Silco.

"Pff, crazy woman." Jinx rolled her eyes.

"Yeah." Ren nodded.

Jinx tilted her head before grabbing their face. She rolled it around in her hand, inspect them. "Wha' you have a fever or sum?"

"No, I'm... fine." Ren broke themselves away. "I uh, met your dad."

"He got you scared good, hasn't he?" Jinx laughed. "Don't worry. I know he's a murderer and a crime lord or whatever, but he doesn't hurt those who help him. So just don't get in his way, ya know?"

"Great." Ren sighed before returning to work. "I need a pair of hands with this, Jinx."

"On it!"

The two worked for a couple hours on the machine. No matter how much they tried, something was never working. Ren wasn't quite familiar with this technology since Piltover always preferred live music but they tried their best. Jinx occupied them enough with her talking to calm down and focus on working. She noticed how much on edge they were and truly tried comforting them by saying that as long as she's around, Silco wouldn't hurt them. Ren felt somewhat better but still was cautious about the whole situation.

After a lot of work, the two finally figured out how to fix everything and finished relatively soon. Once they were done, Jinx offered to bring them back home but Ren told her what Silco said to them. The girl was surprised by it but motioned them to go anyway. She ended up getting her tools back in the box and scattering away somewhere. Meanwhile Ren approached the stairs. The guard gave them a nod as they got on the first step.

The stairway looked incredibly long and dark. Ren has seen Sevika makes this exact trip once or twice while they worked here but as far as they were aware, she wasn't in Silco's office anymore. They didn't know if that fact should comfort or worry them more. Ren took the steps one at a time, trying to prepare themselves for entering the lion's den. Once they were upstairs, the mechanic looked around. Each door they found looked like the other and they didn't know which could possibly lead to Silco's office. They walked further, inspecting them. Soon they found a door that was not like the others. It had Silco's name carved into the wood and the handle appeared golden. Even the sides of the door seemed to be covered in metal. This was, no doubt, the room to Silco's office.

Ren raised their hand and knocked on the door three times. After about two seconds, they heart an 'enter' coming from inside. The mechanic grabbed the handle and turned it, taking a deep breath before opening the door. Silco's office was exactly like the man himself. It had some fancy gadgets and a bunch of books. Most of them seemed to be in a good shape, which meant that he must've gotten them from Piltover. By the end of the room, just in front of the big, green window, stood Silco's desk. The man himself was sitting by it, reading a paper, only glancing up at Ren.

"I assume you're ready to report?" he looked back at the paper, pulling a cigar to his mouth.

"Yes, sir." they nodded, clasping their hands behind their back. They opened their mouth to speak but no words came out.

Silco's eyes shot up at them, raising one eyebrow. "Well?"

"Uhm, yes." Ren cleared their throat. "The music box's front still needs to be changed, alongside some of the mixer parts. Me and Jinx were able to get it into a working shape but I would suggest replacing them as soon as possible. The lights are fine, maybe some protective case over them would help preventing further damage but that is all."

"And how much would that cost in your professional opinion?" Silco leaned back in his chair, giving Ren his undivided attention.

"A couple hundred I suppose." they looked down at their shoes, thinking. "Depends on the quality."

"Mhm." he nodded. Silco continued to watch them intently, appearing to look for something. Ren wasn't quite sure what it was he looked for, or if he found it, but he spoke again. "Dismissed."

Ren nodded and rushed out of his office without looking back. They practically ran downstairs, where they quickly said their goodbyes to Jinx and got out of the Drop within seconds. Once outside, they didn't stop until they got home. The mechanic locked the door and pushed a chair under the doorknob and sat down on their couch. Apparently this was their life now, terrified whether or not Silco or their old "friend" was going to burst through those doors.

#silco #arcane #silco x oc #silco x reader #silco fanfiction #silco fanfic #jinx #sevika #arcane fanfic #arcane silco #arcane jinx #arcane sevika #arcane oc #renco

4 notes · View notes

sunriseverse · 1 year ago

Text

complaint time? complaint time! let's talk about my annoyance relating to sapphic, especially lesbian, characters, relationships, and mxtx! because apparently, i love kicking hornet's nests these days (this isn't new, i just usually confine it to dms). this got long, my apologies, so it's going below the cut.

first off, i'd like to clarify that i am not talking about fanfic that makes mxtx characters sapphic/lesbians. i think that's great. i love rule 63. if you want to write these men in an au where they are sapphic, i have been there and support you wholly. this isn't what that's about, though—this is specifically about mxtx.

i've seen the same sentiment over and over trying to go through the chinese gl tag (baihe): people wishing mxtx would write about sapphic characters, wishing that mxtx would write sapphic novels, etc. and honestly, this pisses me off for a few reasons: my thoughts on how mxtx handles lgbt characters generally, the way that these posts clog the tag, and, finally, the way people going "wish mxtx wrote sapphic novels :( too bad she didn't, i guess there's no sapphic cnovels!" cheapens the extant, vibrant baihe field.

one: my thoughts on how mxtx handles lgbt characters

first of all, i'd like to preface this by saying this is only going off of what i know about mxtx, and mxtx works. as far as i'm aware, mxtx is a straight woman, writing about same-sex male relationships. she's the author of svsss, mdzs, and tgcf. i don't know if she's written anything else, but for this post, that doesn't really matter. let's go over these, shall we? mdzs' main couple has a rape kink, svsss' main couple is a teacher-student relationship, and tgcf's main couple is a man who saved a young child who later grew up to worship him. this isn't a judgement—i am a tgcf fan, so i'll be upfront about that; i think the way that specific scenario is handled in canon makes sense, and isn't objectionable to me specifically because of the way it's handled. i haven't finished svsss, and i haven't read mdzs, so i can't make commentaries there. i simply say this to point out the fact that, generally, mxtx couples play into a number of uncomfortable stereotypes about gay men, especially that their sex lives must be particularly "freakish", or that they must be older men pursuing younger men, especially those who idolise them. whether or not this is the message intended in these works, and whatever the characters themselves may think about these situations, they are not their own, real people; they are characters created specifically to be the way they are, by an author who is not a gay man. you can probably see why i, as a lesbian, do not want her writing lesbian characters specifically, and sapphic characters generally.

point two: posts like these clog the tags

any time i scroll the baihe tag, i inevitably run into at least one post where people wish that mxtx would write sapphic characters. while i understand wanting your favourite author to write about characters you feel better represented by, the truth of the matter is that when people make these often-one line posts that aren't actually related to baihe content in any way, and then tag them as #baihe, this leads to the clogging of a tag meant to be specifically filled with content about and surrounding baihe works.

point three: these posts draw attention away from extant baihe (chinese sapphic) works

as surprising as it may be, sapphic cnovels exist! there's actually a decent number of them, in fact. not many are fully translated, but there's a few big ones that are—and, i would say, the quality of the ones that have been translated are at least as good as extant mxtx fantranslations. baihe suffers from being ignored by the mainstream and official english-language publishing/translation houses, for a number of reasons that would take an entire post to even begin to try and unpick, but it does exist. however, when there's a bunch of people acting like no baihe exists and wishing their favourite danmei author would write baihe so it would exist, it creates the false illusion that baihe doesn't exist, drawing attention away from extant baihe—and thus perpetuating the tendency of those in fandom spaces to only ever talk about and promote male-centric works, and erase or marginalise female-centric works, as well as sapphic fans themselves.

in conclusion: i don't have a solution to this. i'm just frustrated by the tendency to act like mxtx is the paragon of lgbt fiction in cnovel spaces, and the way that, rather than looking for extant sapphic cnovels and characters, people seem far more willing to wish that mxtx would write sapphic novels, something that i, as an individual lesbian, think is a foolish idea, and just a generally annoying sentiment.

#okay i will get off my soapbox now. that is all.#don't click the readmore if you're not willing to see me be mxtx critical by the way.#like if you're a huge mxtx stan this post. may not be for you. lawl #i am 100% willing to discuss this topic further i just need to complain for a moment and this is as best as i can put it #c.txt

8 notes · View notes

thetragicallynerdy · 2 years ago

Note

Hi, I'm here from the tealoranges tag! Fic title meme: Are You Going to Scarborough Fair?

Alright alright, I finally had the brains to think about this and write something! (For those who haven't heard of it, this meme is that you send me a fic title, and I sketch out the fic I think would match it. I am not accepting further prompts for this meme at this time.)

I know that this one would go really nicely as a like, farmers market au, but hear me out: post-war au and farmer’s market au. Because the canticle aspect of Simon & Garfunkle’s version of Scarborough Fair always, always makes me think about war (because, y’know, it’s about war). But, because it’s Jim and Olu, and I really wouldn’t ever write an actual war type fic, lets go with “Canon time - Jim, returning from their holy mission, and Oluwande, who sells his wares at the market.”

When I started typing this I was going to say it was more vibes than plot (the Vibes being an exhausted Jim who’s killed a whole lot of men and then returned home to find that they’re still not at peace, and then they meet Oluwande) but now there’s like 1000+ words of plot so here u go:

Jim never made it to Nassau as their first stop in their mission. They don’t meet Oluwande, and they instead spend ten-fifteen years tracking down every last member of the Siete Gallos. Alfeo de la Vaca is not their first. He’s closer to their last, which is the main reason that they keep at it so long – a) there is no one to encourage them to stop, and b) they haven’t killed the one that matters yet.

Somewhere along the way, they have exactly one run in with Blackbeard and Stede, who we can presume are still doing their romance off to the side. They see a handsome Black man with a teal earring on the crew who catches their eye – but then they forget about him.

Oluwande, meanwhile, got out of Spanish Jackie’s for other reasons, about the same time as he would’ve in canon. He finds Stede, and has a rather successful career in piracy before he finally settles down and buys a home. He learns how to make jewelry, and sells it. Tiny trinkets, that sort of thing, to keep his hands busy. For some reason, he really liked St. Augustine the last time they were there. He settles down.

Jim finally finishes their hit list. They return to St. Augustine, scarred and hardened and hoping to find some semblance of peace, because all they feel is a hollowness in their chest and a bone-deep weariness. They come home to a home that’s still empty and ruined, overgrown after decades of neglect.

Whether or not Nana is still alive is up to you. If she is, her exuberance over Jim being done their mission grates against the disenchantment they’re feeling. If she’s not, there’s a point of grief over ‘she was the one I was doing this for, and she’s not even here to see it.’

Either way – Jim is not doing great. They try and fix up the farm, but mainly fix up the house enough to live in, and wallow. The Beautiful Life they were promised afterwards hasn’t happened, and everything feels like dust. Very ‘returning from war and finding yourself at odds with the world’ type vibes.

But then they wander into the market one morning when they’re coming in to, I dunno, buy food, and they happen across a tiny stall, run by a beautiful man with a teal earring. He sells jewelry, and it feels so frivolous, so unnecessary, but they can’t help but stop and look at it. Jewelery isn’t even their thing, but they can’t help but reach out and touch the intricate little earrings.

Oluwande recognizes them. And, in true Oluwande fashion, blurts out “holy shit, I know you.” This is not immediately a concern. Most people in town know them, by rumour at the very least, of the Jimenez child who lived. It’s a small place. However, then he says “we met on uh – The Gentleman Pirate’s ship, you killed that guy –“ and Jim gets very defensive very fast. And maybe runs away a little, wondering if they need to just pack up and go because they don’t really want people recognizing them for all the blood they’ve spilled.

(And then they remember the handsome man with the teal earring, and kick themself a little for not being able to place him immediately. He's still just as handsome, all these years later.)

Later that day Oluwande shows up at their door, with an apology on his lips and a small earring in his hand. “Didn’t mean to scare you off,” he says sheepishly. “I just got excited. Not many people here that know what I used to do.”

Jim reluctantly lets him in, and offers him a drink. They talk. Or, Oluwande talks, and Jim listens.

It’s not love at first meeting. But so many people in town avoid talking to Jim, and he doesn’t seem to care about the blood they’ve spilled. Hell, he was a pirate. He’s spilled just as much. So a tentative friendship is born.

They start seeking him out. Wandering to the market just to talk and pretend to browse his wares. They keep the earring he gave them, but their ears aren’t pierced, so they don’t do anything with it. They start bringing small food treats that they pick up at the market, so they have an excuse to sit and share it. Oluwande brightens every time they show up. He starts having tea or something else to drink ready every time, to share with the food.

Jim keeps trying to fix up the farm. But every time they do it just feels pointless, and makes them sad. They don’t really need a job for the money, but they’re starting to get restless, like they need something to do.

They take up whittling instead. It’s hard, and they cut themself more than they have since they first learned how to handle knives. Their first clumsy attempt at a bird gets given to Oluwande. So does their second, their third. A few more become toys, given to the family down the road. It takes time, but they get good.

“You should let me sell these,” Oluwande muses, running fingers over an intricate crocodile. “They’re really good.”

Jim shrugs. “I don’t really need the money.”

He raises an eyebrow and nods at his jewelry. “Neither do I. Why do you think they’re so cheap?”

Jim lets Oluwande sell their carvings. It’s a good partnership.

Eventually they kiss him. Of course they do. He’s handsome and sweet and the only person who makes them feel like a person again, and not the assassin they’ve become. The only person who teases them about their hat and their long coat and tells them they’re not as scary as they think they are.

And it’s good. It’s so good, this little romance. Easy, in a way very few things in their life have been.

A few weeks, maybe months after they add romance to the mix, Jim admits, late one evening, how much they hate living at the farm. How they still think about leaving, all the time.

“Could move in with me,” Oluwande whispers, voice just audible from where Jim is plastered to his back. “I’ve got the space.”

Jim leaves the next morning and tells him they need to think about it, promising they’re not running away, that they just need time to think. They go, and sit on their farm, and then disappear into the woods like they did as a child. When they come back two days later, it still feels just as empty and barren and broken as it did when they first set foot back in St. Augustine, just as lost as it did when they were a child. The healing they were hoping for is happening, but it’s not happening on this farm.

So they pack up all of their things (there aren’t many), and walk to the village. The sun is just setting, and there’s a candle already burning in Oluwande’s window. There’s no hesitation before they knock.

Oluwande opens the door, and sees them, and their bag. He smiles and holds the door open wider.

“Welcome home.”

That’s it! Look I will never actually write this, so if anyone ever wants to write the thing, have at! (Just give me credit for the idea, and please for the love of god send it to me so I can read it XD)

Anyway thanks for the prompt anon, this was fun!! Sorry it took me a while XD

#jim jimenez #oluwande boodhari #tealoranges #jim ofmd #ofmd #ofmd fanfic #tragicallynerdy writes #fic title meme #anon #ask

7 notes · View notes