#it's a little more involved but it's so fricking good i ate it with like all my meals when i was in thailand | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bilgisticallykosher · 3 years ago

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Not going to tag every side, even if they were technically all mentioned but. I'm. Very screaming still.

Pre-episode. Squealing, so much squealing. Remus. I'm just. Remus, but intense. Remus 💚 Anyway, I see Thomas looking horrified- OH ARE WE GETTING TO THE DREAM THING? Are we dealing with The Thing from DWIT??? Aaaaa. Also, Logan? I thought it was supposed to be Virgil. Hm.

Okay, let's- hnnnnnng content warning I happy flapped. Frick I keep squealing, the green smoke and the bear trap in the A of asides. Omg omg omg. FORBIDDEN FRUIT! Is it two am or pm? Gasp! NICO! No Nico, don't jk the date, please. I'm begging you, I can't. (Edit: legendsgates told the server that it was Thomas who texted Nico, not vice versa.) Oh no, he slept through the text notif? Oh no. Logan! Oh, it's two pm. I mean, I figured because of sunlight, but. FFFF 69TH! *snicker* Thomas smirked, too.

Ooh, daily schedule. Degree a couple degrees! Five am Thomas is a bastard. Logan is… very whelmed by all the Thomases. Oh boy, this schedule is… not going well. Snort. Don't mention it. You don't have the time. Did he schedule time for scheduling? That's a lot of alarms.

ARM!!!! Oh is that a bear trap? Oh. Yup. Whoops, that's- oh. Nope. He's fine. Old?? Aging? NICO IN REAL LIFE OMFG AAAAH! HE HAS A FACE!!! Oh. Aging. Hm. Okay, so he bear trap was less physical, more like Remus is trapping Thomas's thoughts. Neat! Also I have to take a break right, now I cannot handle the dramatic music and his face omfg. Aaaaaaaah. Okay I'm good maybe. Oh! That's the face from the thumbnail, nice. Green light in his hair looks nice.

Aw, Logan is concerned about him. He's a good boy. And yikes that's a lot of um. Filth. Is that a nail? "Muck" is- Remus, points for effort, but no, dear. I mean, only if you say it outloud, backwards. K-Cum. Okay, you know what? I'll allow it.

Remus. Rearranging his sentence is less intimidating than you think. I think he's putting back(?) Caressing? A book of Broadway… something. "You couldn't turn anything on, if you tried." WOW, WAY TO BE WRONG, LOGAN. I mean. You know. Uh. I'm just holding this attraction for a friend, it's not mine-

Thomas looks resigned. Hmm. Shiny green notebook, nice. Does that say "call updog?" Mmm. Yep. Yep it did. Lot of Updog on there, on the other hand, Remus's handwriting is gorgeous, wow. Dinner with Updog (can't cancel that again) I may have injured myself laughing at some point.

This. This is that point. Oh my gosh. Who. So freaking close. The freaking tension! Did they censor damn? Yeah, sounds it. FFFFF LOGAN. Janus and Logan wine moms confirmed. Oh my gosh. He just freaking rips the cork out with his teeth. Chug. There's, like so much tension in this episode. Predicting that the screw is him "screwing" with his mind? Yep, nothing. Hmm. What if I choke. Is that Remus's influence? Or Virgil's? "I'd be screwed" Ha! Oh, wow, Logan! Look how much you're putting Thomas's mental health first! Wonder what was on Remus's second list…

Okay what's going on with the roomba. Ayyyy, Intrusive Thoughts! He's so good in this, Logan. WHAT KIND OF RUBE GOLDBERG GARBAGE- oh, garbage disposal, wow this was well set-up oh my gosh, the drawing attention to the garbage disposal, the book he placed there. Never stack your knives on top of anything, guys!

The little 'yes!' Oh. Oh. Um. Okay. Wow. "I don't care about the knife, but the soap!" You guys, no, this can't be canon help. Oh he's cleaning! Ohhhhh, eyepatch. Love it. This feels very reminiscent of Dealing With Anxiety way back when. But with more Remus! Oh no he got his string caught in his weiner.

Bratwurst, whatever. I bet that was not originally in the script. I.e., accident. Hey, Kingdom Hearts! I know he is. Thomas, Logan, or Virgil? The chords before "He said you're wanting to be more honest"!!!!!

Cue freakout. Yeah, it's Virgil. Man if Remus keeps setting these things up, he's like a genius, the physics involved, geez. Oh. Well, listen, not all experiments work the first time. Oh nope. There it- nope. Hmm. Pink panther-esque? Um, sir that's glowing. Sir, that's a keyblade. Oh, Nico again. Coffee, he says, after guzzling wine. Puzzle? Cognitive distortions!!! "It was a stab" Virgil!!! Logan's such a good boy, oh my gosh, I can't. Yeah. Sounds pink panther. I beg your pardon??? Whomst? Love the 'ooh~' in there. Haha, just stops at Logan. Oh, he's trying to get to Logan- ffffff, Remus, oh my gosh. Okay, why are there text alerts but no new texts? Remus, did you wear his shirt while getting stabbed? Rude. Ha! Got an ad for Anxiety/stress, that's funny. Aw, ketchup. Logan how can you be so wrong? Ha! Solenium lycopersicum again. "Yes. You. Am." Help I love him so much. Nico napkin? It's not me, right? He's not contacting him? (Edit: It was me. 😔) Okay, so the thoughts are being very tied up into anxiety, with like being alone, but he's also obviously scared to take a step towards relationship? Maybe??? Man, Remus is so good at these things. Okay, also stress about someone being in his house? Just high stress in general, I gu- !!!!!!!!! Oh hi.

No, Remus, your puppet is being mean- oh, no, that's the, he's just stabby. Mutual stabby? You have no idea how hard I'm looking at his eyeshadow right now.!!!! MUSIC??? Song? Oh, okay, cool. Ahhh, what your momma gave ya. Remus, omfg he's so pouty at lack of stabbing. It's not lost on me that the lighting is purple. WOW, Logan. Willing to see his merit. Squeak squeak flick. He's not pretending he doesn't- yeah. Oh tongue lollipop. What was in his ear??? That he ate???

Manicure on severed hand. Ignoring dummies for dummies. Aw, does Nico have a carrot next to his name? WOAH WHAT!!!! Holy crap, fandom was right-

WAIT ARE HIS EYES ORANGE NO WAIT NO.

THEY ARE!

No, I wasn't ready for this theory to be right! Idk if…… rage/anger/wrath is orange through Logan or if that's a Logan thing or if he's turning into orange, gosh, I,,, really hope not. Nico calling! Ohhhhh, Remus likes that.

Ahhh, Nico. Aww they're cute. Wait, is Logan supposed to be angry at Thomas? Oh. I really liked Procrastination as orange, and. Hmmmmmm. Oh man. We got some. Good, yet heartbreaking Logan there.

Oh my gosh. I'm like. Almost shaking. Oh my gosh. I like. Don't know what to think. Love that totally real phone convo, though with Hello Fresh. Aaaa, what even do I think?! I'm so concerned! On multiple levels! But aw, Nico. I'm reeling. That angry Logan changed everything. Squints that seems lot a lot of paprika. Nico date! Patton!!! Roman!!! Virgil!!! Aw, Logan. Rome didn't fall in a day. "He's giving him permission," WAIT HE'S ANGRY ABOUT THAT TOO??? Okay, Logan's calming down, being okay. OH NO OH NO OH NO THAT WAS HELLA COOL WITH JANUS BUT THE EYES!!!! Crap, orange is anger. Damnit. Chills.

ALSO I had a belated realization at about Janus being in the tree and freaked out about it all day so expect something on that soon.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #logan sanders #character!thomas #nico flores #new video reaction #ts spoilers

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yrpspiritsintheshadows · 4 years ago

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A Strange Arrangement

Hideki sighed in content as he watched the whipped cream he was making double in size in the stand mixer.

There really wasn’t anything quite like the feeling of success at seeing a technique work out just like you practiced it.

“Alright, soon as this is whipped, I’ll get it into the cake and-”

There was a tugging on his apron, causing him to jump. He looked down to see Ken was giving him a puppy eyed look, tugging again on it.

“What’s up, Shark Pup?”

Ken smiled, jumping back.

“Can you make me a lunch?”

“Like, to eat here or a bento? And for that matter, why? I thought you already ate.”

Ken sighed, giving him a kicked look.

“I shared my lunch with my friends. I’m gonna be hungry real soon… Pleeeaaase?”

Hideki glanced at his mixer, checking the consistency of the whipped cream. Fluffy and nearly coming out of the bowl, just how he liked it.

“Maybe later. I need to finish my roll cake. If you’re patient, I’ll put a piece in there.”

Ken perked up, letting out a little gasp.

“Really? Can you put two?”

Hideki gave him a curious look, getting his roll cake set out on the counter and spreading the filling out atop it.

“This is really rich. It’s chocolate with strawberries and I’m gonna cover it with a ganache before freezing it. You’ll get a tummy ache on two.”

“I won’t! The other piece isn’t for me.” Ken put both his hands together, giving another pout… throwing in a whimper for effect. “Pleeeaaase?”

Hideki flinched, trying not to make eye contact. He knew that look. He had become very accustomed to it.

“Ken, please don’t make that face.”

“Pretty please?”

“Ken, who are you even hanging out with? You know you can’t feed chocolate to the dog.”

Okami, as if understanding this, let out a loud whine. Hideki rolled his eyes.

“She’s a really good friend of mine from school.” It wasn’t a lie, Ayami was waiting for him outside and he wanted to share a snack with her. “We’re going on a big hike.”

“I don’t remember hearing you talk about this friend before. Which one?”

“Her name’s Ayami.”

Hideki hummed in thought. He remembered seeing a few kids playing with Ken during park trips but never anyone by that name.

“Ayami, huh?”

He nodded, bouncing on his heels a little, leaning up to watch his big brother work. Hideki’s hands were fast as always, rolling the cake up carefully but securely before sliding it into the fridge. He moved to the stove, starting to melt chocolate together with heavy cream.

“So, can I have it? Please?”

“How long are you gonna be gone? Did you tell Dad or Mom?”

“I’ll tell them in a bit, but Mommy would just go “You have food at home, you two can eat here.” and… they don’t know Ayami’s mommy.” Ken pouted.

Hidei nodded, very familiar with that rule. He grew up with it from Aika and Daisuke. Before the age of ten, no friends were allowed in the house unless they talked to their parents first.

“Well, why not ask her to bring her mom over then? She’s gotta anyways if she’s being dropped off, right?”

Ken went very quiet at this, biting his lip.

“... Ken?” Hideki narrowed his eyes. “I’m not helping you keep a secret.”

“But it’s an important one…” Ken looked down at his shoes. “I promised.”

Hideki sighed a little. He knew that all too well. He wasn’t comfortable keeping secrets like this though. Especially if it went against their parents’ rules.

Sure, he’d gladly sneak the kid an extra cookie or stay up an hour later than he said because his favorite show was on… but when it came to going off alone, or rather, anything involving Ken’s well being after the nightmare incident, he wasn’t comfortable with that.

“Ken…” He looked up from his cooking, meeting his eyes. “I want to respect your wishes but I’m not gonna keep secrets from Mom and Dad. That’s not my thing.”

Ken looked down, breaking eye contact.

“Ayami’s not normal though.”

“Is she like you? Or like me?”

“.... She’s…” Ken mumbled something, looking away from Hideki. The teenager frowned, raising an eyebrow.

“Pardon?”

Ken smiled sheepishly, guilt in his eyes.

“She’s a ghost.”

Hideki’s eyes widened before he put a hand to his face.

“Keeennny, why didn’t you just start with that!?”

“Ehehe?” Ken kicked at the floor a little. “She’s not like a regular one though. She’s a Ghost Guardian… You know what those are, right?”

“Yeah, of course. Ghost kids who stay behind and work under Lady Phantova as her warriors against the undead.” Hideki took his pot off the stove, pouring it over the cake before shoving the entire thing into the freezer. “So, that’s who your little friend is, huh?”

“Ahuh… You see why I can’t just go “Bring your mom over.” since her mom is y’know...a GODDESS!?”

Hideki nodded, wincing a little.

“Yeah… I can imagine. At least tell Dad since I think he’d be more okay with this.”

“I’ll tell him later, Ayami’s waitin’ and I can’t cook.”

Hideki sighed, lowering his head.

“Okay, but just this once. I mean it bub.” He gave Ken a stern look. “And if you don’t tell, I will. This is not gonna be like your bad dreams. Okay?”

Ken nodded.

Hideki sighed before getting started on a relatively simple lunch, making sure there was enough for two.

“And if she offers you ghost fruit, you don’t eat it until you tell the folks. Alright?”

“Okay. Why?”

“I heard it doesn’t wear off that fast and you don’t wanna scare them with thinking you died and came back to pretend all was normal.”

Ken’s eyes widened before he nodded.

“Got it…. And Hideki?”

“Hm?”

Ken hugged him tightly.

“I love you.”

Hideki smiled softly.

“Love you too, Shark Pup.”

Things just keep getting interesting don’t they?

Honestly though, might be just the thing he needs to practice those gifts. He’s gonna see worse things than making a friend out of a dead kid.

It wasn’t long before Hideki saw Ken off, the little boy running off as he joined Ayami’s side. The ghost girl looked over her shoulder at him, giving him a thumbs up.

“Be careful.” He looked down at Okami, the dog giving a huff of annoyance. “What’s her issue?”

“It’s hard for her to keep up.” Ken frowned a little. “Okami, stay-”

The large dog bolted to his side, whining.

“Alright, alright. C’mon!”

“Be safe you two.” He waved, before the kids started to walk off… Only to jump when Hideki let out a yelp.

They looked back, seeing Eiji was standing right behind Hideki. The man raised an eyebrow, motioning with his finger for them to come back.

“... Uh oh.”

Ken gulped, hurrying back over, as Eiji knelt to his level.

“Am I in trouble?”

Eiji held up a finger, taking off his reading glasses.

“Not yet.” He gave a firm look. “First, I heard about half of what was going on in the kitchen. I was grading papers in the living room.”

Hideki winced.

“Frick…”

“You’re not in trouble. Like I said - not yet.” He gave Ken in particular a stern look. “Ken, can I finally meet your friend properly?”

“You knew!?” Ken yelped.

Eiji shrugged a little.

“I played with Ghost Guardians when I was little too. Kind of not a surprise to me, that you’d make friends with them too.” He was nostalgic as he looked Ayami over, nodding as he recognized the armor style. “Yup, the real deal… Which is why I’m not mad. But Ken, you should never be worried about this stuff, like I told you before - you can tell us anything and we won’t be mad.”

“Even if I tried to keep another secret?”

Ayami hurried over.

“It was my fault.” She insisted. “Please don’t be mad at Ken.”

Eiji looked at her, giving her a gentle look.

“I’m not mad. Like I said, I just want to know what my kids are getting up to. The woods aren’t entirely safe but if he’s got a friend like you, I think I can trust he’ll be alright… but I do want to at some point meet with your mother. Is that alright?”

Ayami nodded quickly.

“Frannie wouldn’t mind. If you played with us Ghost Guardians before then you’d know her too, right?”

“Yeah but it’s been about twenty years, give or take.” Eiji patted their heads. “But, no more of these little secrets, okay?”

“Okay!”

“Good… and Ken?”

“Huh?”

Eiji kissed his head.

“Be good and be safe.”

Ken smiled, hugging him tightly, relieved he wasn’t in trouble.

“Thank you, Daddy. I love you!” He grabbed Ayami’s hand as they ran off, Okami chasing after the children. “C’mon Aya!”

“Eep!”

Hideki and Eiji watched them go, before Eiji sighed a little.

“She’s so tiny…”

Hideki looked up at him.

“How young do you think she was?”

“Given I’ve seen Ken playing with someone I couldn’t see since he was about 4? I’d imagine she was five. She’s presenting herself as six right now but she’s still learning. Could be awhile before she decides her final age so to speak.” Eiji sighed. “Makes me just sad for her parents, if they were good ones.”

Hideki looked back to where they had gone.

“If they were anything like mine, they’d just be happy she has a life somewhere. Even if it’s just her afterlife.”

“Yeah… Welp, guess this means we might have a deity dropping in on us.” Eiji headed back inside. “I’m gonna go back sure I swept.”

“... So wait, that’s it? If Titan just showed up here, you’d be this nonchalant about it?”

“Kind of?” Eiji shrugged. “Honestly, this is just par for the course for me. I remember meeting her once when I was Ken’s age but that was twenty years ago. She probably doesn’t remember me.”

“Aww… Who could forget you?”

Eiji ruffled his hair.

“Aww shucks… Now… How about that cake eh?”

“Oh, you’re gonna love it. C’mon!”

Hideki hurried back inside, calling out for Hikaru and Carmen. Eiji looked back towards the forest, as the wind picked up around him.

The more things change… the more they stay the same.

oooooo

Ken and Okami were keeping up at a decent pace with Ayami, who was flying above them. The kids were relieved they hadn’t been in any actual trouble.

“Hey, my big brother packed a big snack enough for two people. Do you wanna share it with me?”

“Sure! When we get to a good rest spot.” She did a flip through the trees above them. “Wee!”

Ken saw a large boulder coming up. He picked up the pace, before leaping over it, forcing himself into a flip before he kept running.

“Oooo nice! You learn that recently?” She clapped a bit.

Ken grinned. The extra lessons while practicing with Chase and Eiji were paying off.

“Ahuh! Just can’t do it often.”

“Got ya…” She came to a stop, standing on a high tree branch looking around the forest. “Let’s see… Where to go…”

Ken looked around, Okami whining a bit as she nudged him along.

“Oof! Hey.”

Ayami looked down, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s up with her?”

“She smells something she doesn’t like.” Ken moved along, knowing very well that trying to go anywhere Okami deemed “danger” was a bad idea.

Ayami narrowed her eyes, looking around them, focusing on the energy of the forest.

Something was nearby but… it didn’t feel like a threat. Still, she swooped down, pulling Ken up, flying at a pace to keep up with how fast Okami was sprinting away from it.

“Oof! Hey!”

“I don’t think it’s bad but we’re not alone. Let’s not tick something off.”

“Right.” He looked behind them… He saw a bush rustle. “... Let’s get far away. Fast!”

Ayami looked behind them before using her strength to grab onto the scruff of Okami’s neck, lifting them both up.

“ARROOOOOOO!” Okami howled in alarm. She smelled it… It was close but she smelled it.

And she didn’t want it anywhere near her pup or the strange, not living pup.

“Um, Aya what are you-EEP!”

She phased them through a large brush of trees, before stopping at a large rock that had a relatively smooth surface, enough for all three of them to lay across.

“We’ll just stay here a bit.” She gave a salute. “I’ll go investigate.”

Ken frowned.

“It can’t hurt you can it?”

“Naaah. I’m already dead!” She boasted. “Nothing can hurt me!”

“Okay…”

Ayami gave a salute, before hurrying off, turning invisible. She came back to the path they had been on before, peering through the bushes and trees…

Whatever it was she had sensed and what scared Okami, was long gone now. She couldn't pick up a trace of it.

Weird… Maybe a forest spirit?

Ayami shook her head. No, that wasn’t right. It hadn’t felt dead.

The presence was alive… very much alive.

Maybe it was nothing. Probably a fox.

Still, she made note to keep close to Ken during more of these excursions if she didn’t have training.

Ayami hurried back to where Ken was waiting for her, already setting out their snack.

“Well?” He looked up, worried.

Ayami frowned.

“I couldn’t find it. It’s gone.”

“That’s good… right?”

“I think so but I’ll keep around more.” She sat on the edge of the rock, picking up a sandwich, taking a large bite out of it. “Mmm! Oooh that’s yummy! What’s in it?”

“Hideki makes this yummy sandwich spread, with veggies and cream cheese. It’s really good.” Ken smiled a little. “Aya, don’t worry, okay? I know you got my back.”

“And I intend to keep doing that.” She offered him a fist bump. “Ghost friends?”

“Not secret friends.” He nodded, bumping his fist with hers. He looked out over the forest, closing his eyes.

The forest’s energy was the same as ever but… his gut told him something else was around. He wasn’t entirely sure what it meant yet…

But he hoped it was nothing scary.

Just don’t let it hurt my family.

#Spirits in the Shadows #Ken Miyamoto #Ayami #Ghost Guardians #Original work #original writing #literature #paranormal #web series #yellow rose productions #Storm Arashi

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odderancyart · 7 years ago

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Happy 1st anniversary, Dreamswap!

Apparently that’s today.

@onebizarrekai I did a thing for it. Thank you for such a great AU. AM (Alternate Multiverse) perhaps.

AO3

6:00

The loud ringing of the alarm clock echoed through the room. Dream blinked as he opened his eye sockets. Yawning, he stretched as he threw his legs over the side of the enormous, golden bed; a luxury he had allowed himself. After quickly changing from nightclothes to daywear, he made his way toward his office to work a little before breakfast.

7:00

Eating breakfast alone was nice. Most of the time he shared his breakfast and lunch with his subordinates so they could utilize the time as much as possible and continue working as they ate. Just for today, though, Dream had decided that he’d enjoy a quiet meal. He turned a page in his book, smiling as the Little Women sisters decided to stop being so greedy and buy their mother Christmas gifts instead of spending their money on themselves. Little Women was one of his favourite books. He had reread it more times than he bothered to count; one of few books he felt a need to read more than once. Taking a forkful of his scrambled eggs, he let himself sink deeper into the book.

8:30

His office usually was full of activity as staff ran in and out, wanting his opinions or signature on something. Dream had been forced to shoo multiple staff members out before his meeting with the director of the JR Orphanage.

“We need more money, my lord,” they said. They bowed down, and reached into their bag. They straightened. A thump was heard as a big stack of papers hit the desk’s surface. “After the children from the destroyed universe came there’s not enough of teachers.”

Quickly he browsed through the papers. They were accounts of the orphanage’s incomes and outgoings; necessities, fun activities for the children and staff, as well as the sizes of the classes. Nodding, Dream looked back at her.

“Of course,” he agreed, and they smiled relievedly. “I will see to it.”

9:45

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NERD!”

Groaning loudly, Nightmare trashed as a pillow was pressed into his face. He waved his hands wildly, eventually managing to grab the arms keeping the pillow there. As he removed them and shook the pillow of his face, he found himself staring at the grinning faces of Cross and Error.

“Whyyy,” he moaned, stretching his arms over his head and glaring at them. It was too early for this. He really shouldn’t have stayed up past 2 in the fricking night to play videogames. Even as he glared at his now laughing friends, Nightmare couldn’t help but smile as they each held up a badly wrapped package.

“’cause it’s your birthday, nightlight, however old you are now,” Cross said gleefully, albeit slightly curiously. He shrugged. He’d stopped counting a good while ago. The only one who might know would be his brother. Dream probably knew how old they were, with how disturbingly organised he always had been.

The packages were placed on his bed, and he nodded quickly in thanks. As he quickly tore the paper into pieces he chuckled at Cross’ grimace as the ripping sound echoed through the room. Nightmare’s sockets widened as he held up his gifts. A book with pranks from Swapfell and the latest Mario Cart-game. His grin widened.

Awesome.

10:30

“how come i always loose?” Cross whined as he threw the controller into the couch. It bounced once. Exchanging a gaze, Nightmare and Error laughed.

“iT’s B-beCAuse YoU*re teRRibLe aT tH-thEm,” Error told him as the guardian loaded the game again.

“Let’s go again,” Nightmare said, already for what probably was the twentieth time this morning. Enthusiastic nods answered him.

11:15

Dream didn’t look up as the door was thrown open. Since the newcomer didn’t knock he already knew who it was. The scratching of his pen on paper and the classical music coming from the speakers was joined by heavy footsteps. As he signed a contract the chair on the other side of his desk squeaked and a loud thump signalled that the newcomer had sat down.

“You’re late,” he pointed out, still without looking up. As he added another few details on an email about the upcoming attack on negativity in a Flowerfell the other groaned loudly.

“That’s because you’re making me get up so early.”

“It’s almost noon, Ink,” Dream said flatly, and finally looked at the other. “I don’t know why you’ve been so lazy this week. Normally you would’ve been up a long time ago.”

Ink muttered something inaudible. For a short moment, he thought about asking what the other had said, but then he decided it wasn’t worth it. Most likely nothing of interest.

“Anyway,” he continued, opening a drawer and taking up an envelope with a TOP SECRET-stamp. He reached over the desk and Ink took it, interest finally showing in the objects his eyelights turned into. A star and an expression mark. “I’ve got a new target for you.”

“Ya got it, Boss.”

12:30

The entire kitchen smelled of tacos. Blinking, Nightmare stared at the countertops. They were all covered in tacos, burritos, nachos and every other Taco Bell-meal he could think of. The enthusiastic “ta-daa”’s coming from the other two made him chuckle. Cross threw an arm over his shoulder and pressed a skeleton kiss to his cheek.

Without a word, freed himself from the arm and went to fill up a plate.

14:40

“I said no.”

Dream turned his head over his shoulder and threw his closest employee a suspicious gaze as Ink growled into his phone in the background. He was looking quite irritated. With a sigh, Dream shook his head. Whatever what was going on there, he had no interest in getting involved. Why had he even taken in Ink with him here?

Instead he directed his attention back to the children in front of him. A toddler was once again trying to grab his wings, and with a smile he turned them physical. The excited gasp as the kid managed to tug the feathers made him let out a small chuckle.

The Orphanage was a bright place, filled with colours and laughter. As he waited for a staff member to get him, he watched the excited children who screamed for “Lord Dream, Lord Dream,” to “watch this!”. He applauded as a human girl made a somersault and she laughed.

A door opened, and a dragon monster appeared in the doorway. They looked worried as they waved for him to come. Carefully freeing himself from the kids, Dream followed the male through the hallways of the castle.

“This way, my lord,” the dragon said, voice soft and troubled. “She’s in a bad condition.”

“Don’t worry,” Dream told the other. “I will do what I can.”

The room he was lead to and then left in was dark. The lights were turned off. It was quiet except for a quiet sniffing. As he went in, though, it immediately lit up due to the light his wings always beamed with. A small monster sat in a corner, curled into a ball. She didn’t look up as he came in. With a sympathising smile, Dream went to kneel in front of her, letting his aura shine brightly in an attempt to comfort.

“Hello there, little one,” he whispered.

16:00

Balloons covered the entire floor and videogame soundtracks played loudly in the background. Cross stumbled over them, almost dropping the gigantic cake he was carrying into the floor. Blue strings caught him just in time, straightening both him and the cake up again. Nightmare snorted at the annoyed expression of Error’s face.

“h0nEStlY,” Error said, starting to shove the balloons into boxes. “Y-you*D be SO DeAd wi-wIHTout-Me.”¨

“no one’s denying it, buddy,” Cross pointed out as he put the cake down with a sigh of relief.

“I am!” Nightmare called in protest. “I survived hundreds of years before I met you two.”

“yeah but you didn’t break into your brother’s heavily guarded castle just to play obnoxious music before you met us.”

Nightmare went silent, narrowing his sockets as he stared at his friends. His shoulders sank as he nodded in defeat.

“Fine.”

19:45

Yawning, Dream made his way toward his private quarters. It had been a long day – as always – and now he looked forward to some calm and rest. Guards saluted him and staff greeted him as they met in the hallways and he nodded back. With a tired smile, he unlocked his door. For once he had managed to finish all work in time so he’d get to just enjoy himself for the rest of the evening.

As he opened the door, he rolled his shoulders to relieve them of some tension. Blinking, he stopped abruptly as he stared. His soul speeded slightly. So much for that calm and rest. The entire hall was covered in balloons and a giant cake was standing on a table.

“SURPRISE!” A familiar voice called, and Nightmare jumped out from behind the couch, followed by his two weird friends. Error cheered as well, if a bit more hesitantly, and Cross just glared viciously. Dream gaped at them.

“How did you get in?” he managed to ask, eyelights flickering between all the decorations. “With all of this?

With a wide grin, his twin pointed behind him. In the hallway behind Ink stood leaned toward the wall, legs and arms crossed. He waved slightly as Dream glared at him.

“They forced me. Every night. All week,” was all he said in explanation. “Happy birthday, Boss. Oh, and don’t call the guards please. This took an eternity to set up and I’d like to eat some cake before you have the organizers killed.”

Still gaping, Dream turned back to his ‘visitors’. Nightmare’s grin was just as smug as every time he’d managed to trick or surprise him during their childhood.

“C’mon, lil’ bro. Just this once and then you can go back to trying to kill me once our birthday is over.”

Dream blinked, trying to decide whether this was all some kind of trick or not. Yet, the expression on Nightmare’s face was as sincere as it ever got. After a few moments of silence, he sighed.

“Fine. Only for tonight.”

“Great! So… how old are we again, Goldilocks?”

Letting out a groan, Dream shook his head in exasperation. He already regretted his decision.

21:00

High above them, two figures rested on the castle roof and watched them through the skylight. The music made the glass vibrate as the sun and sky covered them in the pastel light of sunset. The shorter of the two stared at the celebrating skeletons beneath them, scowling. He turned to his companion, or rather, his henchman.

“how come everyone’s invited except for us?” he asked, glaring through the window. His companion chuckled, and crossed his legs.

“Ya know it’s ‘cause everyone funking hates us, yo. Totes unrad but what can ya do?” he replied nonchalantly, a careless grin on his face.

Without another word, he took his glasses of his face and trailed the edges of the letters writing out YOLO with a phalange. The purple flickering of the now uncovered magic and the breaking soul would’ve made most uncomfortable. Yet Blueberry only threw him a slight glare in reply.

“that hurts, fresh, that hurts. it’s true, but you shouldn’t say it.” he said, tapping the glass lightly and pointing at the ones below accusingly. “and anyway, it’s very rude to invite everyone but one or two. that’s the first thing they teach you in kindergarten.”

“Ya speak th’ truth, homeslice.”

“i know i do, my frenchman.”

#so i realize this wouldn't happen #but who cares #this was fun to write #dreamswap #happy anniversary!#ds dream #ds nightmare #ds ink #ds cross #ds error #ds blueberry #ds fresh #my writing #slight crightmoss #crightmoss #swapmoss

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calmingforthemedicalcaregiver · 4 years ago

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WELCOME!!

WARNING: Near the end, talk of depression, implied talk of suicide and hurting yourself. (I never hurt myself, just so you know.)

Hello one and all!

This is my new blog for caregivers. It’s a little inspired by some website I ran across around 2007, the year after I first started caregiving for my mom. (War flashbacks.) The site had funny jokes and things, intended for something for caregivers to do when they’re relaxing. I thought I’d do a similar idea, and throw in what I’ve learned over 10 years, (16 years this year), of doing this. Everyone needs a break sometimes.

About my experience (long!): My mom had multiple sclerosis for a long time. I remember her symptoms were starting to hit hard when I was in JR. high, but I think she first developed the disease in the late 80s or early 90s. For most of my life, we thought it was what’s called remitting-recurring, but it was primary progressive, which is just what it means. Her health declined over time. She went from walking, to being bedridden in 2006 sometime after a bad fall, with canes, wheelchairs and walkers in between. There was also this whole thing in 2005 when we were taking on a job and the stress may have brought on a flare up for her. We were never really sure. Unfortunately, her neurologist was frighteningly old. To this day I don’t know why she picked him. I will always blame him for misdiagnosing her, and I don’t even remember what the guys name was.

So, longer story, eventually her legs just gave out, but it got worse. She stopped eating and talking. As it turned out, her GP was on maternity leave, and on top of that, it took the better part of six months to even get her admitted into the hospital. I know, it all sounds scary and it was scary. During those months BEFORE the hospital, I was sinking into depression and so was she. There was a lot of crying involved. (Also an incident where our roof was leaking and we had to stay at a hotel. Fun times (sarcasm.) I have mentally blocked a lot of it out, but that’s what happens with traumatic events. Your brain is so in shock, you’re so in shock, that your brain deletes those files. And that’s okay, for the most part. If you remember the basics of how you started caregiving and what’s going on with your “patient”, you don’t have to give doctors and nurses every single detail.

After she was finally admitted (and frick that whole hospital by the way), it was months she was there. We thought the worst was going to happen. Eventually she was released, and that’s when the denial started. You see, there’s things you don’t think about and no one tells you. When you’re 22, you don’t think about caregiving. And you don’t think about how the months your relative was drugged up on painkillers and how it’ll effect them after months. So, my mom came out of the hospital...how to put this...out of it and not there mentally. Like someone with Alzheimer's I guess. She was talking again, here and there, but everything was off. This lasted for months and we had no clue what to do. Eventually, we got her to her doctor, now back from maternity leave, and I asked about it. Her answer? “The (name of drugs) have been absorbed by the fat in her arms and that’s why she’s acting like this.” What the actual frick? So, more months of being lost and no answer if she was going to be like that forever or what. Cue sometime later and we’re having nurses come in. This nurse suggests putting her on X drug to stabilize her mind or whatever. (I can’t remember exactly what was said, it was so long ago.) I was ecstatic, but I was also in denial. I thought one day she was going to pull out of it and be back to normal mentally. Not sure if I felt the same about her maybe walking again, but it’s a moot point. So, got her on it, and it worked. She was now making more sense, but pretty euphoric all the time. Chatty. And eating again and off the feeding tube. (Yep, that happened.) I forgot to mention that she has dementia, but it’s not “true” dementia. As far as we can tell, the MS and lack of food just ate away at her brain, so brain damage.

So, things progressed and life went on. In situations like this, life does tend to get worse though. My attitude changed a lot. I went from being angry and depressed all the time to being less angry and sad sometimes. (I suspect-surprise-I may have functioning depression.) But my mom is miles from where she was. She doesn’t talk as much to us, but you get a new person in the room and they ask her the right questions, she’s awake and wants to talk. A year ago, she didn’t have ticks, but now she sucks in her lips about every three seconds. (I’ll be honest, it drives me insane.) I know she is bored, but her eyesight isn’t that great (nearsighted), and her hands are failing her to the point where we have to feed her if it’s not a finger food. And, as you may know, it’s hard to keep a bedridden or old person awake for long. If she’s tired, there’s no fighting it. I have tried to provide her with puzzles and things, but it depends on the time of day and how awake she is. I have NO IDEA how to keep her entertained. She used to love reading, but you hand her a magazine and she just stares at the cover. How do you entertain someone who can barely see with weak hands who wants to sleep all day? I’m still figuring that out. (I’ve looked at suggestions online, but haven’t done a lot of them. But, she does like music and listens to the TV more than really watches. That’s another thing, she’s gotten to the point where she repeats random things from shows. I’m not sure why, guess it’s just the degeneration.

And as for me, I take it one day at a time. We’ve had 100+ nurses over the years, and our latest is a gem. Some nurses were “okay” to “Please stay forever, here’s a bonus”. My point with that is, I have so many stories I want to get out, but I’m not sure if that’s slander even if you keep the person anonymous. Back to me, I’m less upset, but I have a lot of resentment. I find it very hard to connect with my mom again. She doesn’t remember me at all, thinking I’m her mom (whut?) or her sister. (I look nothing like her actual sister.) So, the repeating soundtrack in my head is that my mother is gone. It’s heartbreaking, I know. It’s horrible. But horrible things happen. I’m still here. Like most caregivers, in the beginning I had a lot of bad thoughts and they scared me, but I wasn’t in so deep to want to act or hurt myself. Sure, I was miserable, but I had no outlet and many of my friends around my age at the time were, for the most part, not my friends. (Three of them got married in like the first five years I’d started caregiving. Never heard from them after that. That’s another rant I held with me for a long time after.)

I have repeated my mom’s story to various doctors, nurses, and inquiring friends over the years. Now I’m sharing it with the internet. If you’re a caregiver, you’re not alone, even if you feel like it. There’s thousands of us in the US, of various ages, and probably millions more the world over. (It’s popular in Asian countries for the elderly parents to live at home.) I encourage you to have an outlet. Forums, support groups, chat rooms, it’s all out there. I don’t do forums anymore for the most part, but I enjoy a good twitter rant or just a good cry. And, of course, I believe in prayer and recommend it.

My mom is 65. She used to be a nurses assistant. She liked British sitcoms, music, movies, loved reading, animals and spending time with my dad and family.

I’m almost 36. I’ve been taking care of her since I was 22. I like anime, drawing, reading, and lots of other stuff. I’m strong and you are too. Rely on others, take breaks, connect with your charge the best you can and you’ll get through this.

Avatar is from: https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/set-card-people-various-occupations-take-photo-id-cartoon-character-isolated-flat-illustration_13330845.htm

#my story #my life #hospitals #multiple sclerosis #doctors #nurses #medical caregiving #illness #chronic sickness #chronic #dementia #bedridden #sad #feelings #emotions #new blog

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doodliedoo · 7 years ago

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Today’s Story: Adventures in Babysitting

I am the designated caretaker in just about every facet of my life. With my friends, I am the mom friend (there’s a few of us, but that’s of little importance). With my family, I am the advice giver (why my mother comes to me for parenting advice for my siblings, and why my older sisters and younger brother– who have dated more than I have– come to me for dating advice, I will never know). At all parties I attend (my mom’s wedding, football parties, and any get together involving parents and kids and usually alcohol), I am the babysitter: I watch the kids until they fall asleep, and then I go make sure their parents don’t eat someone’s pet (goldfish has happened, turtle was a near miss). Naturally, I take babysitting jobs for some cash as well, and I never really run out of referrals unless the parents at the party were too drunk to remember me sober (which is rare, but has happened).

So there is one occasion where I go to a babysitting job, it is my stepdad’s friend from work, and I am watching his two kids and his brother’s two kids. The oldest is seven, a boy, and thinks he’s too cool for this. There are two five-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, both amicable and very good listeners. The youngest is a four-year-old girl who is shy but also bossy. There is also a humongous, mixed-breed dog. All are adorable. The parents order us pizza and leave it on the counter, tell me the kids have a bedtime of 8:00, 8:30 at the latest, that they would really appreciate if I could give them a bath and help them brush their teeth, and head out for the night.

At this point, the kids are all playing outside in the front yard on a playset, or with their little electric kid cars. All is good. Then the neighbors show up. In the span of around three minutes I have gone from babysitting four kids to babysitting ten, but no parents run out screaming so I assume they have permission to be there. I’m nowhere near out of my depth, but wrangling ten kids is a handful, so I round them up with a game of hide and seek and that tires them out pretty quick. At sunset, or 7:00, I tell the neighbor kids they should head home before it gets dark. I get grumbles, but I have earned their respect and so they grudgingly head home.

Inside, I go to start dishing out the pizza from the box on the counter and find the box on the floor. Empty. The dog sits across the kitchen with a guilty look on his face. I am not one to give up easily, so I begin to look through the pantry– and of course I’m in one of those “trying to be healthy but not really committed to it” houses, so there’s some poptarts, but nothing else ready-made. Not even bread for sandwiches. Who the frick-frack-paddywhack-crackerjack-godsmack-tic-tac doesn’t have sandwich bread!? Anyway, I find some tortillas and cheese and a weird butter-ish variation, so I’m like “Who wants quesadillas?” and all of them are like “ME!” So I feel a little better, at least they’re not heartbroken over the pizza-- actually, they all start asking for strawberries, so I cut some up in between quesadilla cook-time. They’ve been watching the Angry Birds Movie this whole time, and by the time dinner is ready it’s ¾ the way through and 7:40, so I let them eat and watch TV– I saw them snacking on the couch when I arrived, so I know the parents are okay with it. The quesadillas taste weird from the butter-ish variation, and go mostly uneaten, but they eat a lot of strawberries to compensate, and enough of the quesadillas to be full. There’s dinner. Not as planned, but dinner.

By the time the movie was over, it was around 8:00, and I’m sort of panicking because they should have been in bed already. I would have skipped the baths, except the kids were sort of filthy from playing outside, and they needed baths. So, I put the girls in one bath, and the boys in the other, and I start the water in both. I’m trying to get them to wash themselves, but there are two problems: one, they just want to play, and two, there is no soap in the whole damn house except for the little bit of body wash in the bathtub with the boys, and some expensive shampoo in the bathtub with the girls. So I use the little bit of shampoo for the girls and some of the body wash for all four of them. I’m also trying to find towels and their pajamas for them to change into afterward. All in all, I am frantically running between bathtubs with towels and clothes and soap containers, telling them things like “5 more minutes, and then you have to get out.” I probably looked like a loon. The girls get out first, getting quickly into their pajamas and heading to the kid’s room, which all four of them will be sleeping in. The boys get out second, slowly and with abundant giggles, they insist on letting the bathwater drain first and then having me leave the room for them to change. This whole process takes until 8:25. They still had to brush their teeth, which took around five minutes instead of two or three because the two cousins had no toothbrushes and I had to show them the trick where you use your finger, and then all the kids wanted to use their finger, but eventually it did get done. They were clean and ready for bed.

At bedtime, I read them a book I brought with me, The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss (it’s a favorite that I read to all the kids I babysit). They girls say they’re ready to lay down and sleep. The six-year-old boy is saying he has an erection that hurts very bad, and that he needs to wear a pull- up. I can see he doesn’t have an erection, because he is wearing tight-fitting pants, and I tell him that he doesn’t need a pull-up for that, and that they wouldn’t fit him anyway. The five-year-old boy, who is the only one amongst the four to wear pull-ups at night, says he peed, and needs to switch out his pull-up. I ask if he needs help, he says no, I say ok, and he goes to the bathroom, changes, and returns. By this time the girls have decided they both want to sleep on the bottom bunk of the girl’s bed, and the boys insist on following suit. At this point I am getting tired, so I’m like “You’re probably gonna be uncomfortable, but ok.” I say goodnight, and I leave. The six-year-old is still trying to tell me he needs a pull-up for his erection, he still doesn’t actually have one.

Around fifteen minutes later, I hear some commotion and head back to the kids’ room. All four are awake, the boys are giggling and the girls are telling them to shut up. I tell them, gently, that it’s bedtime and they need to go to sleep. The five-year-old boy needs to switch his pull-up again. He does, and I remind him that if he needs to pee, he can just go to the bathroom, that he should at least try not to pee in his pull-ups. The six-year-old tries to get me to let him wear pull-ups for his fictional erection again, and I remind him that he won’t fit in the pull-ups anyway.

This happens one more time before the kids finally go to bed, and by then it is just past 9:00. I have been keeping the parent’s in the loop via text (“the dog ate the pizza, I’m making quesadillas,” “Do any of the kids have food allergies,” “Where do you usually keep your bath soap/shampoo/conditioner,” “does the six-year-old usually wear pull-ups?” “kids are in bed”), but have yet to get a single response. When 9:30 rolls around– which is half an hour past when the parents said they would be home, and around an hour earlier than I expected them home, my parents text me, asking when they should pick me up. I tell them no parents are home yet, and that I’ll let them know when they are home or on the way.

At around 10:15, the cousin’s parents come pick them up– the husband is drunk off his ass, but the wife is sober, so I let them drive off without mentioning it. The wife tips me for being late, and I thank her profusely, because you don’t get that a lot from the sober ones. At around 11:30, the parent’s get home, both hilariously drunk, accompanied by a few other adults I have never met. I text my parents, asking them to come pick me up and get no response. This one drunk pair have a conversation that is so incoherent I am laughing. They are so drunk I don’t think they noticed me. A girl hammered enough to trip on nothing tries to drive herself home, we call her an uber. Eventually only the parents are left, and the wife goes to bed. The husband tries to make awkward conversation with me in the living room. I text my parents again and get no response, I am beginning to think they fell asleep.

The husband calls me to this weird little bar room they have to the left of the entryway and begins to talk to me passionately about how wonderful music is. I am confused and a little annoyed and I text my parents again. Then I call them; they had, in fact, fallen asleep, but now my stepdad was on the way to come get me. The husband is still trying to rile me up about music and how much you can learn about a person from music. He asks if I have a favorite song, I tell him the name of one that is very strange and obscure and usually puts people to sleep (literally, anything: dogs, cats, babies, drunk people, anyone). My stepdad texts that he is close, the husband is getting really amped on this music and he’s saying “Oh my god, this is so amazing, I have goosebumps, holy shit.” I’m beginning to suspect he is high in addition to drunk.

My stepdad arrives at around midnight, and I am so ready to go home and sleep. When I get home, I make banana bread.

#today's story #this is literally the most extra thing I have ever experienced #well #maybe not the most #but #like #its way up there #babysitting

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