#it's a little bit like everyone has the energy of paul from a christmas movie christmas

[fictionadventurer]

Because one of my functions on this site is to let people know when there are halfway decent Hallmark movies, I've got to tell you that A Carol for Two is a delight. It's full of energy and fun and good singing, and has two leads with great chemistry. It's still cheesy and unrealistic and sometimes quite stupid, but more in a '40s movie musical way than in a typical Hallmark way. Like, there is some fast-paced banter energy. And scenes where people fall in love by singing together. It seems like everyone on-screen is having a lot of fun, so I did, too.

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Fairytale (Ficmas #8 Solangelo)

My solangelo boys are back!! This is set with them as mortals but like that’s as much as I thought about it, there’s really noting specific to know! Anyways my two boys had to make an appearance!

It wasn’t that Nico hated Christmas.

The holiday himself he could actually get on board with. Presents, family, all that crap. He even liked all the lights and sparkly things. Not that he’d ever admit to that part, but he did. It was the chaos he despised. People everywhere, everyone suddenly losing the concept of personal space. Nico was not on board with that.

So his dread for one of the busiest times of the year somehow gave the impression that he hated all Christmas related things. And his friends being, well being his friends meant that their personal mission was to make him love Christmas.

“Hey Nico!” Jason yelled, cranking up the volume of the radio. “This is like the best Christmas song, you can’t say you don’t like this!”

Fairytale of New York was playing. Nico actually loved this song. Cursing and getting to call it festive? Sign him up. He did however, have  a reputation to uphold.

“Try not to burst those eardrums.” He drawled, rolling his eyes. “We don't need you deaf as well as blind.” He said, referencing Jason’s new glasses.

“Ha ha ha.” Jason said sarcastically, but he turned the volume down a little. Nico looked away so he could hide his smile.

“You know, the first Christmas trees can actually be traced back to ancient Greece and Egypt.” Annabeth chattered as Nico accompanied her on their quest to find the star in Sally Jackson’s attic. 

“Yeah?” He prompted. He didn’t have to say much with Annabeth, but he liked that, they had an easy relationship. She always understood him, but she never flaunted it, just made sure he knew she was always there for him.

“Mhm,” She continued, tongue poking out as she dug through one box. “Although the trees like we know them today began in Germany in the 1500’s.”

“Huh.” Nico said. A gold point dug into his hand and after the initial quick draw back of his arm, he peered into the box and carefully pulled out the delicate decoration.

“Got it.” 

Annabeth looked up and grinned. “Amazing. I need to get away from all this dust.”

Nico just nodded his agreement, and followed her back down to the warm rooms below.

“Hey Nico, wanna help me make cookies?” Percy called from the kitchen, already putting on his blue apron.

Nico wandered into the kitchen and hopped up on the counter, stealing some chocolate chips. “No, but I’ll watch.”

Percy snatched the chocolate away from him. “Watch does not mean eat. I can’t make chocolate chip cookies if you eat all the chocolate chips.”

Nico shrugged. “Have you tired?” He asked, managing to take back the chips. “Because there’s really only one way to find out.”

Percy ended up smashing a chocolate bar. Nico enjoyed some very good chocolate chips.

“Here’s your one Nico!” Piper called, throwing him a very ugly and very itchy Christmas jumper. 

Nico looked at it’s offensively obnoxious colours and flashing lights and raised an eyebrow at Piper, looking at her right in the eye.

“Do you really think I’m going to wear this?”

Piper shook her head, chuckling. “Not at all. But it was worth a shot.”

Nico quirked a small smile at that. He could respect her attempt at least.

The doorbell rang and Nico’s heart stuttered. They were all staying at the Jackson’s for a couple of days and there was only one person who hadn’t arrived yet. Leo smiled at Piper and Nico ignored it, getting up and going straight to the door, seeing a blur of gold through the little fogged window. He threw the door open, and there was Will, a bag over his shoulder, a smile splitting his face from ear to ear.

“Hey Sunshine.” He drawled. Nico Helped him throw his rucksack on the floor, pulling the other boy into his arms.

“Miss me?” Will laughed as Nico tightened his grip around his waist. 

“No.” Nico scoffed, but he placed a kiss to the place where Will’s shoulder met his neck, right under where Nico’s lips rested.

Will pulled back, his long musician's fingers cupping Nico’s jaw as bright blue met deep brown.

“Well I sure missed you.”

Nico rolled his eyes, but leaned down so he could finally kiss his boyfriend. Will’s nose was cold where it nudged against Nico’s own, but his lips were warm and Nico just wanted to melt into him.

“Hey Will?” Leo asked, poking his head out of the living room. “It looks like you’ve got something on your face.”

Nico pulled away, turning slowly to glare at Leo.

“Hey Mr Mechanic?” Nico asked, his voice pleasant. “Don’t forget that I know where you sleep.”

Leo’s face paled and he vanished once more, Will bursting out laughing.

“Alright darlin’ are we going to go in or is this as much as the house I’ll be seeing for the duration of our stay?”

Nico turned back to look at Will, his arm still held tightly around his boyfriend's waist.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love it when you’re sarcastic?”

Will smirked, leaning in to press one more kiss to Nico’s lips.

“Once or twice.”

“Well I love it.”

“And I love you.”

Nico smiled, and this time he didn’t hide it from anyone. “I love you too.” He kissed Will on the cheek then grabbed his bag for him, leading him into the living room where everyone else waited.

Jason played Fairytale of New York again and Nico stooped down a little to rest his chin on Will’s shoulder as Will leaned back against him.

“I love this song.” Will hummed, beginning to sing along. His energy was infectious and soon almost everyone was half singing - half shouting the lyrics.

“When you first took my hand on that cold Christmas Eve, you promised me Broadway was waiting for me.”

Will turned in Nico’s hold to loop his arms loosely around his neck. 

“You were handsome!” Percy shouted.

“You were pretty!” Will continued, looking at Nico expectantly. Nico bit his lip and rolled his eyes, but tilted his head in acquiescence.

“Queen of New York City!”

Piper let out a whoop and Nico laughed, joining in for the rest of the song.

“Hey did you know it was the ancient Greeks and Egyptians who had the first Christmas trees?” Will asked as everyone was settling down to watch a movie.

Nico could practically hear Annabeth’s eyes lighting up.

“Yes!” She enthused as Nico rested his head on Will’s shoulder. “But the tree’s like we know them weren’t until the 16th century in Germany.”

“Yeah but they were decorated with fruit and nuts and stuff.” Nico said, half yawning as he pulled a blanket over himself and Will. He could feel everyone’s gaze on him and he looked up a little self consciously.

“What? I know things.”

Annabeth just smiled knowingly at him threading her fingers through Percy’s inky black hair.

“Okay guys, we need to take a picture of us all in our jumpers!” Piper said excitedly, already wearing hers and setting up the timer on the camera as even Sally and Paul came in for the picture.

“Oh we’re all matching!” Will enthused, holding up Nico’s as his was already on. “Come on sweetheart, just for a minute?”

Nico flipped off Leo, laughing in the corner as he shrugged on the ridiculous sweater.

“You’re so lucky I love you.” He muttered to Will as Piper wrapped an arm around his shoulders, Jason on her other side.

Will kissed his cheek. “Oh I know.”

“Dinner’s ready!” Sally yelled from the kitchen, the houses’ temporary inhabitants scattered throughout all the different rules.

“Oh my god yes.” Nico said, standing up from the couch, pulling Will up with him. “I would happily eat Sally’s food for the rest of my life.”

“What about McDonalds?” Will teased, tugging Nico’s hand playfully. Nico paused in the doorway, looking back at Will.

“Don’t make me choose.” He begged, hoping he could do that thing with his eyes that usually made people cave. Will was not people however.

“Hey Sunshine, you started this. Now Sally’s or McDonalds?”

Nico looked at the floor, scuffing his shoe against the floor. “Sally’s.” He grumbled. “But only for her cake.”

“Oh of course. God forbid there was actually a healthy reason in there.” Will teased, stepping closer, then glancing up.

“Hey look.” He whispered.

Nico did, spotting the red and green dangling from the doorframe.

“Mistletoe. Remind me not to walk through any door at the same time as Leo.”

Will tapped his arm lightly. “Hey!”

Nico grinned and looked back down, Will’s face only inches away from his own.

“Sorry babe.” He glanced back upwards and shrugged. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to ruin the festivities.” He reasoned.

“Of course not.” Will agreed, smiling and leaning closer until their lips brushed.

“Love you.” Nico breathed, just before sealing their lips properly, sliding his fingers into Will’s gorgeous curls.

“Hey guys, dinner!” Sally called once more, and Nico pulled away regretfully.

“Come on, food and then we can get back to this.”

Will beamed and followed him away from the mistletoe.

“Hey Neeks?” Nico glanced over.

“Yeah?”

“Love you too.”

All in all, Nico reasoned, Christmas really wasn’t all that bad.

[aion-rsa]

Ghosts Series 2: ‘They’re stuck in an existence they didn’t ask for… like all of us’

https://ift.tt/35QzhQ6

The Ghosts creators have worked together for over a decade. To-date, the six-person team (Mat Baynton, Simon Farnaby, Martha Howe-Douglas, Jim Howick, Laurence Rickard and Ben Willbond) have written and performed in long-running children’s sketch comedy Horrible Histories, three series of fantasy sitcom Yonderland, feature film Bill, and two series of the supernatural BBC comedy Ghosts, with a third on the way. 

Channelling Mrs Merton asking Debbie McGee what first attracted her to the millionaire Paul Daniels, I ask Baynton and Howick via Zoom what inspired the group to write Ghosts, a sitcom about a group of individuals who frequently drive each other nuts, trapped together for what may well be eternity? 

Both laugh. “I’m sure we do drive each other nuts in many ways,” says Howick, “but the truth is, like the ghosts, what we always come back to in these episodes is that they love each other and don’t know what they would do without each other. I think that can be said for the group?” He looks to Baynton for confirmation and gets a happy nod. 

Considering the well-documented fallings-out and imploding egos of other comedy gangs – the Pythons not least among them – this level of harmony over such a long period feels remarkable. What’s their secret? “I think we keep each other honest,” says Baynton. “There are certainly heated debates.”

Heated’s too strong a word, says Howick. “We only really fight for our opinion, we never fight each other.” On the rare occasion that there isn’t unanimity about a particular topic, there might be a locking of horns and a democratic vote, but real arguments don’t happen. “There’s no animosity or jealousy with each other’s independent careers,” he explains. “We are our most important project. We have no desire to work each other up. We’re all genuinely fond of each other.”

That much is clear watching them interact. The online BBC press launch for series two was punctuated by the group making each other laugh. Silly voices. Running jokes. At one point, to the absolutely delight of his colleagues, Simon Farnaby’s crotch moved unavoidably front and centre as he stood up in front of his webcam to adjust a window blind. The rapport is real. 

Indeed, during UK lockdown, say Baynton and Howick, the group’s regular Zoom calls drafting Ghosts series three were a godsend. Aside from the boon of having regular work when so much of their industry was in uncertainty, being able to see friends for three hours on a Wednesday evening kept them sane. 

“It’s been a tonic in an otherwise relatively difficult and quite miserable time to have been able to jump on Zoom and make each other laugh with ideas for these characters that we love,” says Baynton. Entertainingly, when the group splits off into writing pairs, each does impressions of the absent characters while drafting dialogue. “It’s funny,” remarks Howick. ‘When we come together as a six, if we’re trying to pitch a positive idea, it’s usually done in a [segues into the regional accent of his upbeat character] Pat voice. Or if it’s a melodramatic idea or if it’s over-the-top, it might be a [Baynton’s Romantic poet character] Thomas voice.” 

Via video chat, it took a little longer for the group’s writing wheels to start turning. Ordinarily a new series would start with two weeks of the gang together in the same room. Stretching that to months of three-hour Zoom calls, fitted in amongst home schooling for the parents among them, was an adjustment. “The energy that you would bring to a room at 10 o’clock in the morning in an office wasn’t there,” says Howick. “You’d have to try and generate this feeling even though everyone was exhausted.”

Howick found himself seeking out frivolity to reach the right frame of mind. He played videogames. “If I sat and thought too hard about what was going on outside my door, it would make me really sad, and so in order to keep a vital part of me going, in order to meet with Mat and the others every Wednesday and keep that bright demeanour, it was good to do that.” The writing momentum started to return with the ease of lockdown, says Baynton. “The simple mental health-saving fact of being able to meet up with family in a garden helped a lot.” 

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Trying to write comedy against a such a serious backdrop of world events also felt uncomfortable, says Baynton. “You feel like it’s almost… immoral is too strong a word, but when there are nurses and doctors and teachers and crucially important people doing the work they do… It felt like an elephant in the room to be tap tap tapping away at a story about another day at Button House and what the ghosts are up to.”

It helped to know how warmly Ghosts series one had been received by its many fans. “What’s touching is when we do get messages from fans who say how much the show means to them. I know how important comedy has been to me in my life, so if we can be that to other people, it doesn’t feel completely frivolous.”

Ghosts, with its colourful selection box of characters (there’s a caveman, a headless Elizabethan, a 17th century witch, an excitable Regency woman-child, an Edwardian snob, a WWII captain, a 1980s scout leader and a 1990s Tory politician) may look frivolous, but series one had moments of real pathos. Baynton is proud of the fact that the series doesn’t shy away from the bleaker side of its ‘dead people’ premise. “If you really interrogate the truth of it – these are people who lived, people who died, people who loved or were thwarted or killed or suffered injustices or never got to love the person that they admired…”

The original idea was for a much bigger cast of ghosts, with everybody playing multiple parts, Horrible Histories-style. It quickly became clear that the story needed to home in on a small ensemble, giving the gang what Howick calls “its own silhouette”. Had they stuck with the original plan, “It would have been like The Muppet Show,” he says. “Every week would only have scratched the surface.” Too many ghost characters would have diminished the show’s emerging premise, says Baynton, which is about “being stuck forever in a tedious and endlessly repetitive existence.”

A bit like lockdown, we joke. Exactly, says Baynton. 

“We talk about this a lot. The way I see it is that their situation is just the same as a living person’s: they’re stuck, they’re in an existence they didn’t ask for, they don’t know why they’re there or what happens next. They know that there is a next ‘thing’ but whether they go to heaven, or hell, or something else, they don’t know. They’re just the same as people on earth.”

Howick agrees, “Their existence is very mortal in that respect.” 

Writing about the afterlife, a sense of existential metaphor is unavoidable, says Baynton. “There is something deeply relatable about it, which is where sitcom will always thrive. You can’t really fail to connect with a story about a person who doesn’t know what to do with their time or who feels stuck. Regardless of class or job or circumstance, that is all of us.”

If the ghost characters are all of us, they’re also peculiar to their time period. The collision and unexpected blending of different social contexts is where much of the series’ comedy comes from. Howick compares the composition of the group to Blackadder Goes Forth, which kept “ranks of characters from different classes stuck together in a hell hole, cheating death every single week.” 

The source of much of the comedy is thwarted status, says Baynton, “It’s the stuff of Alan Partridge and Hyacinth Bucket and Basil Fawlty… people who see themselves a certain way but who aren’t that way to the audience. Every single one of the ghosts is that to some extent. Anything that gave you status in life, you’re robbed of the second you die, so that’s already pretty funny in the sense of a captain who can’t lead, a wealthy woman who has no wealth, a politician who is not recognised as an authority, a poet who can’t pick up a pen, a Scoutmaster with no kids…”

“Not Scoutmaster!” interrupts Howick. “Adventure Club leader!” Before series one aired, they were instructed not to use the “Scouts” organisation name in scripts. “That was before they knew who Pat was going to be,” says Howick. Pat, for info, is a sweetie, and the Scouts should be proud to have him. He’s also a vibrant dancer, as series two, episode two shows. 

“There’s a lot of dancing this series” says Howick. “Without giving too much away, there’s dancing in the last episode. I think Thomas’ best dance is at the end.”

Fans can expect more playfulness with series two. Now that the characters are established and the tone has been taken to heart, the team could afford to experiment a little more. “With series two, because the audience hopefully are with us at this point, we can throw different curveballs,” says Baynton.

“In that way that The Simpsons or those long-running American things, you can suddenly do one in black and white, as if it’s a Hitchcock thing. We’ve definitely had fun. There’s an episode later in the second series which is a format of its own. We’re thinking about those things for series three, being free to be really playful with it.”

There’s a Christmas special episode to come, “the last one ever to be filmed!” joked Farnaby at the press launch. The timing on series two’s filming was especially jammy, with only one day lost to the UK TV and film industry shutdown in March. They made the decision not to use supporting artists in the last scenes filmed, set in a Medieval plague village. The irony of having to tell actors they couldn’t come and play plague victims because there was an actual plague wasn’t lost on them, says Baynton.

Thomas gets a gun in series two, they tease, and we’ll find out how he met his end. “The burning question for fans of the show is how the characters died, and you will find out some in each series,” says Baynton. “There are some we’re holding onto for as long as we possibly can, but rest assured, they’re coming!” 

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Ghosts series 2 starts on BBC One at 8.30pm, with all six episodes available to stream afterwards on BBC iPlayer. 

The post Ghosts Series 2: ‘They’re stuck in an existence they didn’t ask for… like all of us’ appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[amplesalty]

Christmas 2019: Day 1 - Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

A burning Christmas tree!

And the angel said unto them, fear not for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day another marathon of Christmas related movies and TV specials. As is tradition, we start by saying what a tradition it is to start the month with a horror. As we shall come to see, a not as serious Christmas Horror movie this time. Well, having said that, Silent Night Deadly Night is pretty silly at times. My horror tastes have a tendency to lean towards the silly anyway and I did do all 31 days this year so there’s perhaps less of a need to make up for lost time by extending it over in Christmas. Look, stop going on about it, it’s Anna and the Apocalypse.

It makes for a fairly obvious choice to open proceedings, it’s a Christmas zombie movie. What more do you want? Well, how about a musical? Yeah, this is like Nativity crossed with Shaun of the Dead. Or more appropriately, High School Musical crossed with Shaun of the Dead. Or, as the marketing goes with, La La Land crossed with Shaun of the Dead. I think that movie is cursed to be forever associated with anything vaguely zombie related and comedic. It’s like the new ‘It’s Die Hard but…’

Anyway, we start with the eponymous Anna on her way to school with her bestie, John, and her dad who is the janitor at the school. This is meant to be a British film, I think you’ll find it’s caretaker, lousy Americanisation. I think this is more specifically Scottish made actually, whole bunch of English people around mind you but there’s a few Scots mixed in as well. I feel like there was a lot of Scottish made kids shows when I was growing up, I dunno if they just get good investment up there or if it’s like a tax or lottery thing or something?

There’s a total Michelle Keegan thing going on with the girl who plays Anna, not a bad thing since she is one of the most desirable women in the world.

The real star of the show here though is Paul Kaye as Mr Savage, a jobsworth assistant headmaster who we first meet warning off one of the students, Steph, who is running a piece on the school blog about the local homeless problem. Mr Savage points out that the local council set their budgets so it’s probably best if she drops the whole thing. When she threatens to go over his head to the more soft touch headmaster, we learn that he’s retiring next month and Mr Savage is taking over and things are going to be a lot different around here. Kaye is hamming it up a bit as Savage but in a more reserved way? He pretty much delivers every line in this very hushed but stern tone, it’s like he’s a villain in a cheap action film but he’s really just a teacher at a small school in Scotland.

We very quickly get our opening number ‘Break Away’, dealing with the problems that Anna, Steph and John are dealing with. Anna wants to get out of this town and see the world, John has an unrequited love for Anna and Steph feels abandoned by her parents who are on the other side of the world. It’s a powerful song that talks about wanting to be more and the girl playing Steph is really giving it socks and emoting. I don’t think they’re dubbing their voices or anything so fair play to her. They even work in some lyircs that tie into the whole zombie thing; “As I wake half dead in this same old bed at the dawn of another day”. It does catch you off guard though when you’re not expecting a musical.

This would work well as one of those deceptive genre bending movies you could trick someone into watching and be like ‘Boom, zombies!’ halfway through. At the very start there’s a radio piece that kinda spells it out before it’s cut off midsentence that talks about a supposed super flu that has now being discovered to cause ‘reanima-‘. But there’s little nods here and there otherwise that make it sort of cute like those lyrics or people theatrically clawing at a wall like a zombie.

The songs in the Christmas show don’t quite match up. They’ve probably got that whole non-demoninational thing to adhere to where they can’t sing about Jesus so instead they’ve got two break dancing penguins dancing to a fish rap. Yes, fish rap. “My favourite dish is fish, mother flipper, and I eat it for the hell of it!”

Then there’s Lisa’s song which is basically an attempt to seduce Santa. Think ‘Santa Baby’ but a bit more explicit. Like, she invites Santa over to ‘empty his sack’ at one point, that sort of thing. Then you have a bunch of backing dancers who are all topless and wearing short shorts. This is a high school production, right? Seems a bit risqué. Mr Savage seems to agree so too, though at first it just cuts to him saying ‘Filthy....salacious...’ whilst pulling these funny faces, almost like he’s getting some illicit thrill from all this. Thankfully he ends that thought with ‘and it must be stopped!’ before storming off.

Going back to the zombie movie in disguise thought, when we finally do get the zombies, the movie still plays dumb to the whole thing by having Anna and John walking to school whilst performing a musical number (Turning My Life Around) where they say they’re ‘miles away’ whilst being totally oblivious to the carnage unfolding behind them. This rather disturbingly includes a zombie eating the contents of a pram. It’s an amusing scene, the juxtaposition of this bright, upbeat song and these two cheery characters with no knowledge of all the death and destruction behind them. The song has a similar message to ‘Break Away’ but looked at from a slightly different perspective, much more optomistic and poppy.

Mr Savage’s breakout moment comes when everyone gets trapped in the school after the outbreak and they hear of evacuation plans that call for them to stay put and await the arrival of the army. The headmaster seems to be out of the picture and he revels in taking charge. But, when days past with no contact, everyone wants to head out and Savage has a bit of a run in with Anna’s Dad. Savage snaps before sulking off in a corner muttering that this is his school now, hearing zombies clattering at the door and seemingly having a ‘lightbulb above the head’ moment. I’ve made comparisons before to Dead Rising and how the proper movies based on it missed the ‘psycho’ characters. This right here is a psycho character, that sense of a rather mundane character being pushed over the edge in this apocalyptic situation. I’m thinking specifically here of the supermarket worker in the first game who thinks you’re looting and tries to run you down with his adapted trolley that has a bunch of pointy things stuck on it whilst screaming ‘THIS IS MY STOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!’.

Speaking of looting, Anna’s dickbag ex shows up to help her and her friends out of a jam with a trolley full of toys he’s ‘found’. Him and his friends arm themselves to take out a nearby hoard but I feel like only two of them are actually trying. He has his baseball bat and another guy puts knives in his hands like they’re Wolverine claws. I don’t know how useful knives are going to be, especially wielded like that, but at least he’s making a better effort than the other two who have a video game controller used like a mace and the last guy who has two watermelons. Okay, so we see a vaguely similar situation to this earlier in the movie in a bowling alley where someone squishes a zombies head in between two bowling balls so maybe that’s what this guy was thinking? Well, A) I don’t think that’s going to work with watermelons and 2) say it does, that’s only going to work once with watermelons because they’re going to explode. What’s your secondary plan once they’re done with? At least the guy with the bat can keep on swinging it.

This is the lead in to the ex’s song ‘Soldier at War’ which is really good as well. Between the delivery of the song and the way it’s acted physically, there’s this kind of sultry, seductive thing going on? Apparently Rocky Horror Picture show was an inspiration for this movie and I definitely get a Dr. Frank-N-Furter vibe from this.

They all eventually fight their way back to the school only to find Savage is just calmly eating his Christmas dinner. He points them in the direction of their parents, only to lock them in a room full of zombies. He even gets a villain song as they all struggle to survive, basically summarising that for too long he’s been held down but now it’s his time. There’s a fast paced energy to the song and, at the risk of making another Shaun of the Dead comparison, having it cut to shots of the kids fighting off the horde and the fact that it’s called ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now’ makes me wonder if this wasn’t a conscious nod to the big climax at The Winchester.

Things come to a head when Anna tries to track down her Dad, only to find him tied up with Christmas lights on the stage with Mr Savage waiting for some sort of final showdown. I say showdown, it’s more a duet with Anna fighting off zombies and Mr Savage prancing about on stage trying on top hats and wrapping himself in tinsel like they’re cheap feather boas and he’s a fifty pence tart. There is a bit of fisticuffs between Mr Savage and Anna’s Dad in the end though and there’s even a call back to a moment from the start of the movie to serve as the final blow which is neat.

I was a little taken aback upon the revelation that this was a musical but it turned out to be really good fun. Just a really cool mix of genres with some good songs that are complimented at times with on screen theatrics. For the zombie portion of it, there’s some creative kills in one portion of the movie in the bowling alley but otherwise it resorts to blunt force trauma in order to ‘destroy the brain’. But the kills can be suitably over the top with a lot of blood splatter so that all adds to the cheese factor it’s got going on. It’s a suitable addition to the Christmas Horror or even just comedy-horror sub genres.

[pabloimagines]

Title: PYT Pairing: Pablo x Reader Rating: PG-13, for language.  A/N: This is gonna be a 2-part fic, but I wanted to get at least a LITTLE something out there for you, nonny, so you didn’t think I’d ignored your request! Also, apparently short fics aren’t a reality where I write from. Also to anyone from West Bend, no disparagement of your town was meant in the production of this fic. Word Count: 2,114

Rural Iowa was about as far from Hollywood glamor as one could get, and West Bend made the distance all the more noticeable. Surrounded by farmland as far as the eye could see, it was a drive-thru town with one main road, bifurcated by the train tracks that cut diagonally across town. West Bend had four restaurants, and one barely counted as it pulled double duty as a general store. Not a McDonald’s for miles or any semblance of the green mermaid beloved by everyone and their mother in Los Angeles. It was, in many ways, a town stuck in simpler times, something which you had never enjoyed. It was the entire impetus for why, at 18, you’d moved first to New York, then Los Angeles in the pursuit of your dreams.

Fast forward, and now, after years of staying out of town and either skipping family holidays on account of work, or flying your immediate family out to LA’s sunny coasts, you had been backed into a corner based on one stupid family tradition. No matter who they were, or where they came from, any and all first serious significant others had to meet the family on home turf and the home of the person dating said significant other didn’t count. Only the old two-story farmhouse that had raised no less than four generations of farmers, truck drivers, and one accountant would do. You’d tried to argue your way out of it, citing the need to be in the city in case you needed to take a meeting about the new show you’d just been cast in, but your mother wasn’t having it. Either you came through with your man in tow for Christmas, or neither your mother or father would ever approve of the match, should your dating lead, as it tended to, to marriage.

While you loved your family, there were certain things you kept from them; Hollywood’s seedy underbelly and your many brushes with it, your instagram account, and, as of the last three years, your boyfriend. It wasn’t from shame, but rather the fear of your parents’ disapproval that kept you from sharing pictures, vacation photos, or even any identifying information. The one time he’d come up in conversation had been your mother mentioning how much she disliked a certain character he’d played in her favorite TV procedural.

“Boys like that aren’t right in the head, y/n. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must have taken for that man to become that...that monster!”

It was a gripe your mother shared with many of his fans, one that you saw nearly every time he put up a new picture on Instagram. I don’t know if I can like you, because of what you did on ___, but you’re hot in this! You’d seen it so often, you could honestly write an essay on the subject. But, you did your best to stay out of the comments, knowing reading them at best killed brain cells and at worst turned you into the next UFC fighter, ready to take on anyone who badmouthed him even the slightest bit.

While you’d originally planned to fly in together and rent a car to make the three hour drive from Minneapolis-Saint Paul International into West Bend, he’d been held up because of reshoots, leaving you to not only have to deal with your two  brothers in your dad’s cramped F-150 for three hours, but to now--two days later--have to sit and listen to your entire family gossip about the man who was due through the front door any minute.

“10 bucks says he has that really annoying California surfer accent.”

“$20 says he’s blonde. And probably shorter than you, Jacob.”

“$30 says he’s got a bunch of tattoos to freak out mom.”

“$40 says he’s shorter than, y/n. Most actors in Hollywood aren’t even average height! They just make them look taller in movies with camera angles and stuff.”

“100 bucks to shut you both up! Jeeze.” You huff, pulling out your wallet and snatching out the bill you’d meant to break at the airport but had forgotten to in your rush to catch your brothers before they hijacked your luggage.

Your older brother, Matt, snatches the bill out of your hands, folding it crisply before putting it in his pocket, one eyebrow raised. Though he’d officially turned 30 a month ago, he still acts 12, and there are days when you can’t decide who’s more childish; him or Jake.

“I should get a bigger cut, seeing as how you get paid above SAG rates now, sis,” he jokes, and you punch his arm before you can stop yourself, only setting off a peel of laughter from both him and your little brother, the two having far too much fun with the notion of you finally bringing someone home.

“Boys, leave your sister alone and go set the table. Y/n, I’m sure he’ll be perfectly lovely, no matter how many tattoos he has. Just so long as you don’t mar your pretty skin, then he can have all the tattoos in the world.” You close your eyes to keep from rolling them all the way back into your skull. Your mother means well, but she’s about as out of touch with the rest of the world as a person can be and her words backfire as they send your brothers into a barrage of silent mimicry, your frustration with them growing by the second.

“You boys listen to your mother, and make sure you wash your hands before you touch the plates. Save your energy in case we have to kick his ass to the curb for your sister.” Your father’s voice comes through the back door, and you relinquish all hope, letting your head fall into your hands even as he passes you, still smelling faintly of corn despite having showered, changed, and switched from his work boots to his house shoes.

“Dad, no one’s getting their asses kicked. Please be nice to him. He’s a good guy, I promise.” You mutter into your folded arms, refusing to lift your head from the nest you’d made between the kitchen counter and your forearms.

“I’ll be the judge of that, thank you v--” Your father’s interrupted by the doorbell ringing, and almost immediately, your mother turns down the volume on the Michael Jackson record she’d been playing non-stop since she started preparations on Christmas dinner. He’s her favorite artist to listen to, mainly because she can dance around between the stove, the counters, and the fridge as she cooks and on top of everything she knows all the lyrics from when she was younger.

Steeling yourself for your family’s reaction, you swivel on your stool and watch as your father squares up his shoulders and puffs out his chest, ready to intimidate the only man you know he doesn’t stand a chance of intimidating in the slightest. Your dad swings open the door like he’s Saint Peter and Heaven is full and you have to press your lips together to keep from outright laughing. Even from your vantage point, you can tell Pablo’s going to have to duck through the door to get in. You trap your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch your father’s eyes widen as he shuffles aside to let Pablo in.

“Dad, this is my boyfriend, Pablo. Pablo, this is my dad, Travis,” you speak up, a smile that’s all fondness and pride crossing your lips as you watch Pablo effortlessly shift a bouquet of flowers and his carry-on from one hand to the other in order to properly shake your father’s hand. There’s snow on his coat and in his hair, and you can’t help but feel that same little flit in your stomach when you realize he looks like every Hallmark Movie boyfriend ever. It’s a good look, one you know he chose with care, but it doesn’t even come close to showing the type of man he truly is. It’s just a polished exterior to make meeting your family a little easier after all the stories you’ve told. If you had your way, you would’ve had him show up in his old motorcycle jacket and boots, but you knew it would scandalize your parents beyond the point of understanding. Both of you had to take baby steps.

“Pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” You’re almost mouthing the words right along with him, and though you hadn’t exactly rehearsed what he was going to say upon first meeting your dad, you did warn him to keep it short and to the point and not try to compliment him too early on, as it would bristle his mustache.

When your father nods in his usual gruff manner, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, finally letting yourself take a peek at the rest of your family. Your brothers had stopped dead in their tracks, and you’re amazed Jacob hasn’t dropped the plate he’s holding. Both he and Matt have eyes wider than your father, and it’s only when Pablo approaches that Matt snaps out of it and kicks Jake’s knee, pulling his brother back to the present, even though neither of them can really close their mouths.

“Tanto?” Jake stammers out before you can even introduce them and you mentally let out a long string of cuss words, knowing any chance at normal conversation is over because of course your little brother recognizes him.

“Tanto’s Native American, sweetheart!” Your mother calls and you look for the nearest hole to crawl into, eyes closing in misery.

“No, Ma--Not that Tanto!” Jake says in annoyance before all but grabbing for Pablo’s hand, shaking it vigorously. You’re beyond grateful that Pablo is one of the chillest humans you’ve ever met, otherwise, you aren’t sure your brother’s fanboying would be nearly as well tolerated. All he gets is a smile and chuckle for his exuberance, Pablo seamlessly moving on to shaking Matt’s hand as you remember to make introductions.

“The fanboy is Jake, the old one is Matt. Boys, Pablo.” You say, your voice purposely flat when introducing your brothers, making them both turn and give you narrow-eyed glares. You only make a face back, your eyes moving back over to Pablo, the two of you sharing a secret smile. He knows all about your brothers’ antics and while you weren’t aware any of the men in your family had watched anything with him in it, you know the biggest hurdle is yet to come. Your mother has watched him, judging by how shocked she looks,  and you know full well she recognizes him from a very different role.

“You’re...You...Oh my,” she sounds as flustered as she looks, and for a moment, even Pablo’s face mirrors the worry you’re feeling, a quick glance back at you a silent request for help.

“Mom, he’s not that guy,” you warn her softly, and with quick shake of her head and a smoothing of her apron, your mother switches into ‘mom mode’ and plasters a bright smile to her face, accepting Pablo’s bouquet with the appropriate amount of pleasant surprise.

“These are lovely, thank you so much,” she says, carefully setting them on the counter before she finds her hand wrapped up in one of Pablo’s big mitts. “Mom, this is Pablo, Pablo, this is my mom, Kate.” You smile, watching your boyfriend butter up your mom with a kiss to the back of her hand, Pablo having quickly figured out why she looked like she’d seen a ghost.

“Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?” he asks, even as he moves over to where you sit, his smile growing just as fond as the one you’re wearing, a reminder that no matter how crazy dinner gets, things will be alright, because he’s here with you. Tipping your head up, you can’t help but scrunch your nose as he cups your face in both hands and kisses you tenderly.

“Missed you,” he breathes as he pulls away, and in that moment, the farmhouse disappears, leaving the two of you to speak volumes with only a look at one another. Reaching up, you stroke your hand over his cheek, tugging gently at his beard, not missing the fact that he’s gotten a trim since the last time you saw him. “Missed you too,” you whisper, any romance interrupted by the sound of Jake pretending to throw up by the dinner table.

“Welcome to West Bend Farm,” you say, plastering on your own sickly-sweet, slightly murderous smile. It’s going to be a long Christmas.

[schmidtchristmasmarket]

For creating great holiday ambiance in your home you will need more than a decoration, Christmas lights, and a cup of coffee or tea, you will need music playing in the background just to add a little bit of a holiday spark in your room. That’s why we picked the greatest Christmas songs, you can listen with your family and friends. 

The best thing about Christmas music is the fact it can bring you memories of the holiday no matter what period of the year it is, and for those who like spending time next to the Christmas decoration, in a cozy blanket, watching shimmering snow through the window this is a really good news. 

So let’s discover the world of Christmas songs!

#1 ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ – Mariah Carey

https://youtu.be/yXQViqx6GMY

Although, Mariah’s undeniable Christmas classic never made it number one back in 1994, we decided to put this song first, and there is a lot of reasons for that. This song re-enter The Top 40 every year since 2007, giving Mariah Carey the great title of the Queen of Christmas. 

Year 2019 Mariah Carey celebrated the 25th anniversary of her iconic Merry Christmas album, so she released a 2-CD Deluxe Anniversary Edition, that includes the original album, plus a bonus disc featuring previously. She also did a remake of this song that we all know and love. 

#2 ‘Last Christmas’ – Wham!

https://youtu.be/E8gmARGvPlI

Love and holiday, two inspiring topics to write a song about, and if you mix it, you’ll get one of the greatest hits, known as ‘Last Christmas’. The English pop duo Wham!, having George Michael as a lead singer brought sensual and silky sound to Christmas by creating a song about Christmas love, followed by heartbreak. 

The song is released in December 1984, and since then is one of the Christmas songs you can’t imagine the holidays without. The original song was written by George Michael, and so far there are a lot of great covers. 

  #3 ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ – Darlene Love

https://youtu.be/4EvZOXEoJ84

One of the most moving and heartwarming Christmas songs of all time is definitely ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ by Darlene Love. The combination of her smooth vocal, Phil Spector's glorious production, and Ellie Greenwich and Jeff Barry’s magical songwriting skills, we got one of the fines tunes, that can easily melt anyone's heart. 

The song is from 1963, but it has a lot of covers, and one of the most famous is from Mariah Carey. A lot of people claim that Darlene Love was the Queen of Christmas too, and a fun fact is that her song All Alone for Christmas, was one of the songs from the popular Christmas movie Home Alone 2.

#4 ‘White Christmas’ – Bing Crosby

https://youtu.be/A9ibhWgMlso

What a great way to bring the power of Christmas nostalgia, by listening to one of the most famous Christmas songs - ‘White Christmas’ by Bing Crosby. This is what it sounds like reminiscing about past times, and an old-fashioned Christmas setting. 

The original song is released in 1942, written by Irving Berlin, and sung by Bing Crosby. This song became the world’s best selling single with estimated sales of over 50 million copies all around the globe. A lot of musicians did a cover of this song, so the full amount of sales is even higher. 

If you like the good old sound of nostalgia, deep emotions, and you enjoy bringing back the old memories tucked in your blanket, you will love the feel this song is giving. 

#5 ‘Fairytale of New York’ – The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl

https://youtu.be/j9jbdgZidu8

Melancholy and peace, yet joy and fulfillment, all of these are emotions you can feel by listening to the song ‘Fairytale of New York’ by The Pogues with Kirsty MacColl. So, shut your eyes and give it a go, prepare yourself for this mixture of emotions. 

A lot of people enjoy this song, describing it as a perfect four-minute narrative of hope, despair, and heartbreak. It’s all in one, and it’s a Christmas song, that can bring up a lot of memories and stories.

#6 ‘Christmas Wrapping’ – The Waitresses

https://youtu.be/nud2TQNahaU

Let’s spice it up, and bring the Christmas spirit in a different rhythm. If you like the vibe of the Blondie and Talking Heads bands, you will certainly like this Christmas song. The sound of ‘Christmas Wrapping’ really gives you festive feeling, bringing joy and fun holiday time.

#7 ‘Happy Xmas (War Is Over)’ – John Lennon & Yoko Ono

https://youtu.be/yJ4tW7AG_mc

A protest song,  that gives you courage, festive vibe, and euphoria. John Lennon and Yoko Ono gave us the feeling of equality, the sound of peace, love, and hope. ‘Happy Xmas (War Is Over) is an anti-Vietnam War song, that had a huge impact in the ‘70. A lot of artists made their own cover of this song.

#8 ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ – Jackson 5

https://youtu.be/gmUW2pVAopc

There are multiple versions of this song, by everyone from Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey to Michael Bublé, but Jackson 5 gave it that groove and fun sound we all like. This fun Christmas song brings all generations together, and creates good memories with friends and family. So let’s bring some groove on the Christmas Eve and let’s dance next to the Christmas tree. 

#9 ‘Blue Christmas’ – Elvis Presley

https://youtu.be/QipqXel5G4g

‘Blue Christmas without you’ said Elvis Presley, and we all felt that words. The King of Country music gave his melody and swag to the holiday period. We needed this sound just to feel safe and at home whenever we hear it. 

#10 ‘River’ – Joni Mitchell

https://youtu.be/3NH-ctddY9o

From the ‘Jingle Bells’ piano opening it’s clear this is a beautiful and delicate Christmas song, for those who are heartbroken, or thinking about the person they love.  The song brings back memories even for the people who are happily in love. 

By the end of the ‘River’ all you’ll want to do is to hug a person you love, and to cherish every moment spent with them. Maybe that’s why ‘River’ is one of her most covered songs, having been recorded by over 500 people.

#11 ‘Wonderful Christmastime’ – Paul McCartney

https://youtu.be/94Ye-3C1FC8

As the name says itself, the song is about shaving a good time with your family and friends on  Christmas Eve, and being truly happy to have someone to spend this day with. The song describes one joyful Christmas, with all traditions that we love and cherish. It needs to be on every Christmas music list. 

#12 ‘8 Days of Christmas’ – Destiny’s Child

https://youtu.be/MKdndMXIVXw

Is it even possible to add some sass in a Christmas music? If it is, that Destiny’s Child did it! Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle turned a coy old holiday classic into a bumping R&B modern Christmas song. This has to be one fine achievement, so we decided to put it on our list. 

#13 ‘Dear Santa (Bring Me a Man This Christmas)’ – Weather Girls

https://youtu.be/Ko3yBFoTm5c

From the same album as the song ‘It’s Raining Men’, the ‘Dear Santa’ stayed in the same vibe of pure female energy. Groovie song about one interesting wishlist, puts a new perspective of a good and fun Christmas song. For all single ladies, and for everyone who loves Weather Girls this is a song to listen on a Christmas Day.

#14 ‘What Christmas Means to Me’ – Stevie Wonder

https://youtu.be/wtgGBgpNcIo

Do you know what Christmas means to you? If not, think about it while listening to this song. For Stevie Wonder Christmas means singing carols, decorating a Christmas tree,  being with his baby. Maybe you can agree with him, or you can add something to this list. 

#15 ‘Stay Another Day’ – East 17

https://youtu.be/-wNhdjoF-6M

This song wasn’t supposed to be a Christmas song at all.  Actually, the songwriter explained that it supposed to be a very sad song. Somehow, the raw emotion that this song brings, touched our hearts, and became a legit holiday song, great for slow winter days. 

This is our list, and it’s up to you to add your personal favorites, that will bring the Christmas spark in your home, whether it is that part of the year or not.

  Shop for you Christmas Decorations at  Schmidt Christmas Market

[samdukewieland]

Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 8

Something that’s been nice about going back through Mad Men has been re-reading/re-visiting old Sepinwall recaps on the episodes. I read him religiously throughout high school and college, amongst others, but have since drifted from the recap on shows, for no good reason. Probably because there’s generally a podcast I can just listen to rather than read something (jock at heart-sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). This supposed to be a lesson in “go back and experience stuff from your high school years?” man, I don’t know; the venn diagram of things I did in high school and the things I do now is not small (or is it not big? What’s the best way to convey a lot of similarities with a venn diagram, size-wise). 

Sunday, May 10 (Mother’s Day)

The Third Man, Reed 1949

I was not super digging this while I was watching, it was late when I started watching it and it’s not slow exactly, but I was real curious how egg-zacktly Orson Wells was going to fit into the picture. Mysteries! I tells ya. Anyway, I’ve been stewing in it and realized, “huh, I think I actually like this movie quite a bit.” I think the Britishness, while not in your face, was secretly chipping away at my brain, already war-torn by tiredhead and then having a second wave of dry, British storytelling. Pretty good li’l picture (you could say that about movies in the 40′s-this isn’t uncommon).

Top Chef, Season 17 episode 4

This was done in an attempt to help my mom catch back up with Top Chef, which somewhat moved the needle, but I don’t think an episode (on her end) has been watched since. Mother’s Day: ruined.

Mad Men, “Tea Leaves”

My mom also watched this one with me, only because she just happened to be in the room. Her biggest hurdle with this show and her refusal to watch it is based solely on the fact that phones are ringing “all the time” and that “no one ever answers them.” Hard to refute it. She seemed mildly entertained by this episode, considering she had close to zero context for what was going on, thought that it was Ginsburg’s debut episode played some part into that. Pretty disorienting episode to be thrown into, what with the whole....Fat Betty thing (I was going to say “elephant in the room of Betty” but that just seemed cruel and trying too hard to try and be clever. An interesting, though ultimately aimless direction to take Betty this season and everyone involved kind of knows it.

The Last Dance, Parts 7 & 8

That this was the penultimate week of new Jordan doc created an unusual energy around the episodes, which were exciting in their own right as they went over his father’s murder, his baseball career and returning to basketball. But the thing that induced the most goosebumps was the “cliffhanger” (I am a moron) showdown between the Bulls and Pacers. 

Monday, May 11

Icarus, Fogel 2017 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

Kinda nice going into a documentary knowing hints of what it’s about and trying to figure out when it transitions to being about “X” but then you slowly realize you misremembered that information your friend Tommy told you and are surprised that it becomes about the Russian state (very possible I am misusing that term; just trying to sound smarter than I actually am). I don’t watch or know enough about documentaries to confidently state what’s a good one and what’s a great one-I think this one received some kind of critical backlash after it won Best Documentary, which happens. There’s definitely an intellectual superiority to saying you think less of a documentary that either wins that award or a lot of people like (in this case, both!). It’s engaging and accessible (another thing snobs hate) and has a misdirect that doesn’t blind side you; I don’t even care about the Olympics, but I felt sucked in.

Monty Python: Almost The Truth (Lawyers Cut), “The Much Funnier Second Episode - The Parrot Sketch - Flying Circus Included”

This one had more focus on the influence Flying Circus had on writers/comedians who were watching it at the time as kids (primarily). Lotta dudes. I can not stress how there are few things less appealing than hearing Russell Brand describing why Monty Python was funny (this was very much made in 2009).

Mad Men, “Mystery Date”

Some more Sopranos karaoke, though constructed a little bit better this time. This is also the episode that decides to flesh out Dawn (Don’s secretary, a joke that is never not funny) a little bit more, however Mad Men only does this when there’s “something to be said” about being black, which didn’t look great in 2012 and *flips through pages of notes* nope, still doesn’t look good here either. I suppose an argument you could bring up that is awfully flimsy is that they didn’t want to paint themselves into a Nikki and Paulo situation, in terms of never actually caring about digging deeper into Dawn’s story. I dunno man, I’m not trying to cast stones here.

Tuesday, May 12

The Taking Of Pelham One, Two, Three, Sargent 1974

What a white whale this movie’s been for me and brother, it feels good to have finally caught it. It’s insanely cool to go into a movie not knowing that it’s the 1974 version of Inside Man with a little bit of Dog Day Afternoon spliced in (pre-DDA mind you). This movie is packed with so many sarcastic assholes all working together in the same place, I loved it! I loved this movie! Cataloged in my brain as a Stop-Down-And-Watch if it’s on cable. However, my biggest gripe here is that Walter Matthau’s character is named “Zach,” a name that has never once been mistook for Walter Matthau’s; like there’s no way that they had Matthau casted before they came up with his name.

Mad Men, “Signal 30″

Beginning of the end of having any remote kind of sympathy for Pete Campbell. Hitting on high schoolers and shit. He wants so badly to be what he considers to be the best version of himself and will never be there.

Parks And Recreation, “The Set-Up”

Don’t know what it was about this particular viewing, but it landed better than it ever has this time around. Usually when I watch it, Arnett is so distracting and a much different energy than the show has created, but I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard watching this one as I did on this Tuesday morning. 

Wednesday, May 13

California Split, Altman 1974 [as of now this is available on Prime]

Hell yeh. Another movie I’ve been trying to see for a couple of years now, but feels nearly impossible to come across or find (note: to be fair, I have never checked to rent digitally, because I just don’t do that really ever, feels weird I don’t know why) and I found out on Tuesday night that it was put on Amazon Prime almost unceremoniously. I am by no means a gambler, so I have no idea if this is a good gambling movie, but it’s an incredible relationship and addiction movie. My introduction to Elliott Gould was Ocean’s Eleven where he is the opposite and still the same as the characters he played in the 70′s. The man has a debilitating incapacity to be effortlessly cool, even in a movie that he co-stars in with George Segal. I loved this movie.

Mad Men, “Far Away Places”, “At The Codfish Bowl”, “Lady Lazurus”

A great highlight of Don realizing he’s made a huge mistake marrying a 26-year-old. A great highlight of Roger Sterling is great with kids (and their grandmothers!). A great highlight of “Tomorrow Never Knows” fucking rules and uh, maybe wondering if Alexis Bledel is good? (certainly Rory Gilmore is good and it might’ve just been a “choice” to play this character so wooden, especially with what we know comes later on in the season)

Thursday, May 14

Cape Fear, Scorsese 1991

Apparently Spielberg was supposed to do this originally, but thought it was too violent and threw it over to Marty to get Schindler’s back from him (imagine trading those properties amongst yer friends-incredible). What’s real strange here is that he did’t give this to De Palma (I guess because it would’ve been in the wake of Bonfire), but it doesn’t really matter because Marty just goes and makes his version of a De Palma movie. It’s weird! However, when I wasn’t thinking about all of those things and being amazed at how much overt gore there was (overt for a Scorsese movie), I was shocked at the music I associate most with Sidewhow Bob (hold for Gilbert & Sullivan) is actually Max Cady’s music; like I knew that it was just Cape Fear but I had no idea it was just Cape Fear. 

Mad Men, “Dark Shadows”

Can’t go a season without a Don is actually Dick Whitman story/episode. That’s about it.

Friday, May 15

Becoming Mike Nichols, McGarth 2016 [as of now this is available on HBO]

This saved me a lot of time in the long run, should I ever read that new(ish) biography on Mike Nichols. It’s a pretty cut and dry interview focused purely on the prologue of Mike Nichols’s career, that’s a lot more interesting if you’re a theatre kid who doesn’t despise theatre kids (you know the type). Honestly, I was most engaged once Jack O’Brien pivoted towards his directing career outside of the theatre. Also gonna expose my ass here and say I didn’t realize Elaine May was that Elaine May-might’ve been a better interview if it was between two people who’re on equal level rather than a guy trying to kiss Mike Nichols’s and a bunch of theatre kids’ asses.

Mad Men, “Christmas Waltz”

This episode only exists to help punctuate how awful the next episode is, but damn if it’s not weirdly great. The Paul/Harry reunion was such a weird reunion, but only because it reminds you of how much time has passed since the beginning of this show (1960) to when it takes place now (1966); the total shift in aesthetic and thinking is massive, but it never feels shoehorned in.

Top Chef, Season 17 episode 9

Colicchio is pretty adamant about not having past challenges affect the decision of the current week’s choice in terms of sending someone home, but Melissa probably should’ve gone home this week if that were the case. They obviously weren’t going to after kicking Kevin off last week and Malarkey making the least offensive dish of the bottom 3. Melissa’s a front runner, same as Kevin was and you can’t have a competition where Malarkey is on but two frontrunners are kicked off back-to-back weeks (even if it was Kevin falling on his sword). Love Lee Anne, been with her since season 1 and hate to see her go, but she’s bigger than Top Chef-this is a loss that doesn’t make me think less of her.

Saturday, May 16

Notes On An American Film Director At Work, Mekas 2008 [as of now this is available on Vimeo]

I don’t know what to call this, honestly. It’s a videos of Martin Scorsese directing The Departed and it’s kind of fascinating. There are no sit down interviews, but snippets of conversations that you’re just thrown into the middle of. It could be that I just love him so much, but it was reaffirming to see that he (appears to be) is like a genuinely nice person. I don’t read about behind the scenes/making of’s, but I don’t really think he’s got any kind of reputation for being some kind of tyrant on set and this proves it (if he needs that proof for any kind of reason). It is one of those things though where watching actors, uh, act feels kina silly-apologies to Leo DiCaprio.

Mad Men, “The Other Woman”, “Commissions And Fees”, “The Phantom” [season 5 finale], “The Doorway” [season 6 premier], “Collaborators”

An incredibly harrowing stretch of episodes for Mad Men, maybe the best set-up for a finale the show has. The awfulness of the position they thrust Joan into and that Don is the only clear objector to this, be it that he only cares enough about the company is heartbreaking. Christina Hendricks wears so much disappointment and contempt on her face so well and that what happens is sandwiched between those interactions with Don is incredible. And awful. As is Lane’s suicide in the office (I still remember watching this episode for the first time when it aired and it’s as depressing now all these years later as it was back then; Lane and Bodie are probably my top-2 most upsetting television deaths that come to mind). Though it all seems worth it, despite how depressing it might be, for that scene between Peggy and Don where she resigns, an incredible parallel to Megan’s. I’m glad it wasn’t, but if they wanted to series wrap on Peggy there, they could’ve and it would’ve felt so incredibly earned, which you can see through both of those characters trying their hardest to choke down tears through a conversation smothered in so much understood in the unsaid. Now welcome, Bob Benson! (for the life of me, I can’t figure out if they introduce Bob like this intentionally, because it’s so fucking funny in how out of synch it is with everything else going on in the show)

Apocalypse Now, Coppola 1979 [as of now this is available on HBO]

It was either during my sophomore or junior year of high school when I became absolutely enamored with trying to watch this movie. I had built it up to such great heights in my head for whatever reason (I was very concerned with appearing knowledgeable about things like “important movies” and that this didn’t win best picture whatever year it was nominated fueled that fire even more ((I was also very concerned with being outraged over something like this)). I vaguely remember squeezing it in on a school night, but didn’t try and sneak it upstairs to my room to watch, like I tried to get this almost 3½ hour movie in under a reasonable bed time for a high schooler (I definitely didn’t have one, but I remember getting kind of dirty looks around the house if I was still hanging out past 10:30). So it was basically self-inflicted homework at that point, so I remember saying that I liked it, but I don’t know if I honestly believed it. And then that just gets all shaken up in your dumb high school brain that’s already trying it’s best to be super contrarian that you start believing that Apocalypse Now maybe sucks or at the very least isn’t as good as Hearts Of Darkness (a movie you won’t see for another 8 years). I had not watched this movie in its entirety since high school, and I knew all the big beats going into re-watching this, but it might as well have been that I had never seen it before. Man. I was a dumb as hell high schooler. This movie is electric and looks beautiful and I’m so glad that I never watched it all before this and decided to revisit it and I’m now furious at myself for letting the opportunity pass to not see it in theatres when it was remastered last year. 

The Adventures Of Tintin, Spielberg 2011 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

I was reading the oral history of Fury Road earlier that day and it got me really jonsing to watch Fury Road. For my mental health’s sake, I decided to not double feature Apocalypse Now and Fury Road, but rather Apocalypse Now and The Adventures Of Tintin. People of a certain generation really hate this movie and I kind of get it, but this movie rules. There’s maybe two sequences in it that I’d feel unashamed for putting up in the Spielberg Hall Of Fame.

[avaycarter]

These 10 #Travel and #Tech Products are a must have for your Holidays 2018 Wish List! #CTATravel

Disclosure: This is an event recap. This post is NOT compensated.

I am woefully behind on Event Recaps thanks to a summer that brought a devastating fire on the Fourth of July due to someone sneaking up to the roof of my apartment building and throwing illegal fireworks, followed by a death in the family a week later, and culminating in me twisting BOTH my ankles and spraining my wrist a week after that!

To say it has been a "challenging' summer would be a complete understatement.

All the events I did get to attend before my world came crashing down were pretty amazing, and while it may take me awhile I promise I will get to each and every one of them.

I had the chance to attend the Techlicious/Consumer Technology Association/CES Lunch and Learn event at Quality Italian Restaurant in Midtown New York City.

I will start with the hot tech first and then lead into the great food!

These are the great products I was exposed to (these are NOT reviews, I got to see the products at the event, not road test them personally, so these are first impressions)

Since the nice reps from Roku were seated at my table, I will start with Roku first:

Roku Streaming Stick

I am totally getting sick of dealing with my Cable Company, and with features like Hotel and Dorm Connect the Roku Streaming Stick is perfect for both Travelers as well as College Kids hitting the dorm. Why pay the hotel a million bucks to rent a movie when you can just bring along your own streaming stick? Retail Price = $49.99 - these were in our gift bags but I didn't get a chance to test mine as it was lost in the fire, if Roku sends out a replacement I will definitely provide you guys with a full review.

The next brand has been at several events I regularly cover including The Luxury Review/The Luxury Tech Show and I haven't had a chance to take the demo or speak to the reps (in this instance it was my arrival time, at LTS my time at certain booths ran overtime during the Press Preview time period and once that event opened up to non-press it was just too crowded to get in there.) But I have wanted to take the demo and will have to make sure to do it next time I see HTC Vive.

HTC Vive

I love that Virtual Reality is being used by the travel/hospitality industry to help you tour a destination or a hotel room without ever leaving the comfort of your couch. Retail Price = $1,399 (definitely a splurge but Vive Pro definitely has one of the richest content libraries available on SteamVR and VIVEPORT.

Ashley Chloe Helix Cuff

You guys know I am called #TheOfficialTwitterPartyDJ via Twitter because I am a Twitter Party Hostess with the Mostest who LOVES Music and hasn't met the twitter party yet I couldn't find the right song for. I am always on the market for new audio and when I can combine my love of audio and tech with my love of fashion and accessories all the better! My Audio 'Form Meets Function' pick from the event is definitely The Ashley Chloe Helix Cuff. The world's first wearable wireless Bluetooth headphones with cVC noise reduction, AptX Technology, Smart Multipoint Connectivity and Bluetooth 4.1. Retail Price = $99.00 - $249.99 (The pricier one is the Helix 24K Gold Edition, love the exclusive color! I would have to listen to Bruno Mars 24K first on these!) Earbuds not getting twisted or destroyed in my cavernous handbag, PRICELESS!

myCharge Pride Limited Edition Power Bank

myCharge Pride Limited Edition Power Bank was donating 5% of Pride Month Power Bank Sales to The Trevor Project, and since later on this year I got to cross attending Ru Paul's Drag Con off my bucket list (full post to come) - this got me a thumbs up every time I pulled it out to keep my phone charged during the conference. This is a little bulkier than some of the Power Bank's I have used in the past, but love the on and off button, how fast it charges my devices and how long it holds its own charge. The plug for the wall flips out, and this charges itself AND the device simultaneously. This one definitely gets a thumbs up from me, and something like this can cross off nearly everyone on your list! Retails for $34.99

Hum by Verizon 

With holiday travel at it's peak and everyone driving to visit family and friends, the Hum by Verizon certainly helps prove that 'those who wander are not lost'.  With pinpoint roadside assistance, you can get the help you need by using the Hum App to request 24/7 roadside assistance, there is also a mechanics hotline, stolen vehicle assistance, maintenance reminders, you can check your safety score (this helps keeps insurance costs low), vehicle diagnostics and you can also turn your car into a Wi-Fi Hotspot allowing passengers to stream, surf and game on the road (eliminating the dreaded "Are We There Yet?" Questions, PRICELESS).

Sony WH-1000X M3 Wireless Headphones

The Sony WH-1000X M3 are pricey at $349.99, but these wireless, noise cancelling beauties offer five hours playback from a mere 10 minute charge, perfect for us frequent fliers who struggle to find an outlet or left our trusty powerbank behind. We were shown the M2's but the M3's are already out now. I need these in my life and am sad they were not in the gift bag!

Sony SP700N true wireless earphones

With extra bass and the Google Assistant built into these Sony SP700N true wireless earphones, you can make easy hands free at the click of a button, enjoy digital noise cancellation or ambient sound which lets you hear essential sounds. The compact carrying case not only keeps them secure, but holds an additional two full three hour charges, so you can power them on the go! These sound perfect for my morning commute, and I am bummed that these weren't in the gift bag either. These Retail for $149.99.

Sony RX100 Advanced Camera

Sony was showing their RX100 Advanced Camera with 1.0 Sensor, while it may be portable, the specs are definitely not 'lightweight'. It is a 20.2 MP, with a SteadyShot that reduces blur even in low light, HD video capabiity for beautiful video and full manual control for creative photography. It retails for $369.99. Not in the gift bag either, le sigh. I have had my eye on the Sony a7rIII which I played with last year during Fashion Week at Sony Square Space in NYC and then again at this year's Photo Plus Expo. I took a picture with it that served as a Best Buy contest entry during the Expo which is featured on my Instagram page here: https://www.instagram.com/p/BpbS1-TAXLt/ - I have to say I am bit more inclined to the A7RIII, but this has a $2,799 retail price tag making the RX100 a bit more holiday budget friendly. But as Photography is a huge part of my career, not just a hobby/passion, I am telling Santa I want the A7RIII (42.4 MP with 14-bit RAW output!) for Christmas! I really have been a very, very, very, good butterfly this year.

Speck Presidio for iPhone X

Speck Presidio for iPhone X offers 8 foot drop protection! While I am an Android girl and have never owned an iPhone, I have witnessed a ton of friends, family and colleagues drop their uber expensive phone and ended up walking around with a cracked screen - not cute. Why not make a small investment in protecting it instead? At $39.95 ($27.96 if you act fast to nab the extended Cyber Week deal) it gives you something absolutely PRICELESS - peace of mind!

Modobag - Motorized Luggage

See that image above? That is a grown man riding on Modobag - Motorized Luggage, it convinced me to give it a go:

Actually I watched TWO men ride this thing before I opted to get on it myself.

Zip through the airport terminals and never miss a flight, on a single charge the Modobag has the ability to travel up to 6+ miles based on a rider weight of 180 pounds, it has an indoor speed of 4 MPH, and outdoor speed of 7 MPH, three times a regular walking pace, and it goes to full charge in two hours. It also has two USB ports for individual or simultaneous charging. I totally want this for Christmas, as a Blogger this would be my portable office for press trips! I really want this! The Retail on Modobag is $1,495 - which considering designer luggage costs three times as much, and does not haul you around in addition to your stuff, this is actually a steal! I also wanted to share some photos of our meal:

CTA Travel Tech Lunch Menu

Above: CTA Travel Tech Lunch Menu

Shrimp Cocktail Appetizer

Above: Shrimp Cocktail Appetizer (shared by our table, I swear I didn't all that!)

Baby Kale Tricolore Salad

Above: Baby Kale Tricolore Salad

Sausage and Pepper Garlic Toast

Above: Sausage and Pepper Garlic Toast

Mediterranean Branzino, Pesto Rosso with Qi Tuscan Fries

Above: Mediterranean Branzino, Pesto Rosso with Qi Tuscan Fries (you know I usually go for the seafood/fish dish!

Above: Sometimes I am not fast enough to nab a shot before hungry Editors tear into something, but I oddly like this shot all the more for having some pieces missing!

Chocolate Coffee Malt Cannoli with Pistachio Gelato

Above: Chocolate Coffee Malt Cannoli with Pistachio Gelato

QI Signature Lemon Meringue Tart

Above: QI Signature Lemon Meringue Tart MY TAKE: These items are perfect for anyone on your list, and are going to score major brownie points with travel lovers and tech enthusiasts of any age. Again these are impressions as I got to play with these products at the event. Should I get review units I will give those items their own day in the sun with full reviews.

My photos are watermarked, un-watermarked photos were used by media with permission. This is the second year I have attended this event, (the food is always amazing) just in case you missed last year's which focused heavily on Photography and Photography tips for getting better shots, check it out here: https://www.ascendingbutterfly.com/2017/10/techlicious-ctatech-ctaphotonyc-lunch.html This by far has been the second worse year of my life, second only to almost dying in 2011. It zapped every ounce of writing energy out of me. Not to mention left me without a computer until Black Friday Sales enabled me to get a laptop. I am just not one of those bloggers who can blog solely via phone. I do not have millenial thumbs and have no idea how they can get so much typing done on a mobile touch keypad. I am slowly but surely trying to get myself ramped up again. And am considering either a re-design or a complete re-branding. I do have some overdue giveaways so check back often. For those of you who have sent me personal emails checking in on me, Thank You! I know our Inspirational Messages of the Day and Gratitude Sundays have been missed, and I will find a way to bring them back soon. Let's just say getting myself motivated has been difficult enough lately. This event put some great products on my radar, I definitely wouldn't mind seeing any or all of these under my Christmas Tree or stuffed inside my stocking this year. Readers: Which of these do you want most? Do you already have any of them?

·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙

FTC Disclosure: No monetary compensation has been received, and all opinions are 100% my own!  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission 16 CFR, Part 255 - Guides Concerning the use of endorsements and testimonials in advertising, you may check our Giveaway and Disclosure Page for additional information regarding Ascending Butterfly Disclosure.

These 10 #Travel and #Tech Products are a must have for your Holidays 2018 Wish List! #CTATravel published first on https://vsguides.tumblr.com/

[podcastcoach]

Podcast Movement 2017 Refrelections

I'm back from podcast movement, and I had a blast. I also have insights from one of the hardest assignments I've done in a long time.

My Impression of Podcast Movement 2017

Nothing cooler than being picked up at that airport by fellow podcasters Marcus Couch from WordPress Plugins A to Z. We haven't seen each other face to face in about 10 years. We cranked some cool metal on the way to the Marriot and it was like old times.

Then I get the then Marriot and I get to meet my co-host Jim Collison from the Average Guy network, and I go over to his table and there sits the one and only Steve Stewart and Mike Dell. So for me, the Summar Camp aspect of Podcast Movement is in full effect.

The coolest line I heard all week was relayed by Paul Colligan (another person' I've known for 10+ years) and it came from a Dan Klass session. Dan (who is a former comedian) shared how often at comedy clubs you will have multiple comedians perform in an evening - and yet they all use the same microphone. The point? It's not about the tech.

I roomed with Erik K Johnson from podcasttalentcoach.com, and he had stated that it would be awesome if he could meet a web developer who needed help with his podcast, as he was a podcast consultant who needed help with his website. I get into the elevator, introduce myself to everyone in the elevator and it turns out that one of the people is a web designer thinking of starting a podcast. When we get out of the elevator, on of the first people who see is Erik. I felt like I was in a Christmas movie and it was going to start to snow.

I saw Harry Durran from Podcast Junkies and Dr. Ryan Gray who has given up his practice to do podcasting full time and Harry introduces me to Natalie Jennings who happens to be taking head shots at a reasonable price. She shows me a few samples of people, and I'm hooked. I can't wait to see how they turn out. The few peaks I saw of what she did was amazing. See her at http://www.nataliechampajennings.com/

I found out in Paul Colligan's session that if you are in Google Play Music, you are also on the Google Home portable audio speaker.

I also know of a cool double secret project that is going to make recording double-enders via a browser very cool.

I was on a panel with Ray Ortega, Daniel J. Lewis, and Addy Saucedo on what is inside an RSS. This was an insanely nerdy topic, but due to the recent Apple announcements we had some interested parties and I thought we pulled it off well. The bonus is I got to hang out with some cool friends.

The Coolest Thing I Saw At Podcast Movement 2017

While there were tons of great sessions at PM17, as a vendor (I work for Libsyn.com - use the coupon code sopfree to get a free month) I don't get to attend any sessions. I did see something that was way cool. I met Alissa Daire of the Maximize Your Strengths show. I see her the first night, and she is in a group of people and we get talking about Strengths Finder, and she becomes a ping pong ball bouncing off the ceiling with energy. She's super nice, and it was great to catch up with her as I had met her last year. The next night, I'm standing at the Luau event, and here she comes. She explains how "I'm done." She's tired (as many people are), and she is considerably less energetic. Pat Flynn walks over, he's very witty and a super nice guy. Then the subject changes to strengths finder results, and it was like watching a time release video of a flower blooming. Her energy came back, her smile came back, her body language completely changed. It was amazing to watch.

I saw this a few more times. It's late, and people have had a few adult beverages, then I ask them about their show, and BOOM, the body language picks up, the eyes are open a bit wider, the voice is a little louder.

Later, Paris from Gamertag Radio got star struck when Cara Santa Maria from the Skeptics Guide to the Universe walks by. I offered to go bring her over. He got shy, so I did my best Steve Austin (the six million dollar man, not the wrestler) imitation across the showroom floor. I had no idea she was an Emmy Award winning journalist. I bring her over and embarrass Paris. Danny Peña is there, Jim Collison is there, and the minute Paris explained that he really did listen to her show the body language changed.  For me, I think of it as being in your "first impression" mode and then finding out that you're among family.

For the Best Content - Put a Time Frame On it

I spoke about how I got lucky to be able to induct Dan Klass from the Bitterest Pill into the Academy of Podcasters Hall of Fame. The presentation should last three minutes. I had hoped that three minutes would be longer than I thought. I wrote out my first draft. It had some bits about history and podcasting in 2005. It had examples of how the show made me feel. I made a joke about how the more I talk about his show, the more I sound like a stalker. I listed his accomplishments.

I started the stopwatch and went into the presentation, about half what through I glanced at my phone and I was already at 5 and a half minutes. Oh boy......

What Was the Purpose of This Presentation?

I had to go back and ask myself, what was the purpose of this presentation? The purpose was for the person sitting in row 7 who had been podcasting since 2015 and had no idea who Dan Klass was. It wasn't about me. It wasn't about being funny. I was about answering the question, "Why is Dan Klass in the Academy of Podcasters Hall of Fame." For me, this was a big opportunity, on a big stage, and I didn't want to mess it up for myself, or Dan. It was time to edit.

Anything about me went out the door. The history lesson of iriver portable players and synchronization cables went up in smoke. Most of the stories I had about Dan might not go over if you didn't listen to his show.

Only the things that HAD to be said would stay.

I listed his accomplishments. I thought of the funniest thing I had heard on his show (he referred to his two-year-old daughter as Princess Tirade for quite some time), and the most memorable episode (of ALL podcasting) is episode 102 Mass Murder where he talks about what it's like when your Uncle is murdered, and you're walking past TV cameras escorting your mother to the funeral. It's at the end, I highly suggest you listen to it.

I had pointed out that Dan was one of the first to try premium podcasting (this was YEARS before Patreon) and it didn't work well. That was negative, so I just pointed out that he was a pioneer and not afraid to try new things.

I HAD TO POINT OUT, that Dan had been sharing stories a DECADE before Serial was on the scene. Dan was creating engaging stories in a box in his garage, and he did it without a team of 19 people. That had to stay.

To make it entertaining, I thought of throwing in some old Baptist preacher tricks of getting people to repeat words. This came to me in the shower. It would make me stand out, but I was deeply worried about being too entertaining (again, this was all about Dan). Looking back, that was a dumb thought (you're not going to outshine Dan Klass).

Just Because There Are No Time Limits in Podcasting Doesn't Mean There Shouldn't Be

To fine tune my presentation I had to:

Identify my audience

Identify the purpose

Make it entertaining

I know some of us want to record it and publish it. I truly, always believe a podcast can benefit from editing. This is especially true if you are doing interviews.

Because of My Podcast Devin Caroll

Devin from the Big Picture Retirement podcast shares how he didn't' want to start a podcast but sure is glad he did. He just released episode 34, and his co-host has already billed $10,000, and Devin has billed $6,000 and has a client who will bring in $20,000. I bet you might think, they have a huge audience, right? Nope, according to Devin, they are averaging 534 downloads an episode.

Podcast Rewind

I appeared on Podcast Ninja talking about the pros and cons of the different podcast media hosting companies. Check it out at podcastninja.com

Where I am Speaking Next

National Podcast Power - Keynote

Podcast Mid Atlantic - Podcast Artwork - September 8th in Philadelphia Area

DC Podfest November 10-11

Mentioned in This Show

Podcast Gear Group

Steve Stewart

Go Tell Somebody - King's X

Podcast Talent Coach (Get Your Podcast Reviewed at www.podcastreviewshow.com )

Natalie Jennings Photography

Alissa Daire of the Maximize Your Strengths

Harry Durran Podcast Junkies

Ray Ortega, Daniel J. Lewis, and Addy Saucedo

Alissa Daire of the Maximize Your Strengths

Devin from the Big Picture Retirement

Episode 102 Mass Murder - the Bitterest Pill

Marcus Couch from WordPress Plugins A to Z.

JOIN THE SCHOOL OF PODCASTING

Go to www.schoolofpodcasting.com/start

Check out this episode!

[ahelpinghand-xox]

150 Questions..

1.) What’s better, having high expectations or having low expectations? Low expectations, at least then you’re never disappointing.

2.) Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year? Junk food - at least I’d loose weight ^.^

3.) Describe your perfect man/woman. Dark hair, a bit of a beard and slightly taller than me.

4.) Thoughts on school dress codes? I left school a while back so idc.

5.)Any strange phobias? Clowns, heights, drowning.

6.) At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit? Licking a bulls ass, because he only talks shit. bulls shit. 

7.) Who was your first crush? Leo DiCaprio :* 

8.) Who was your first best friend? A girl called Lauren. 

9.)What is one weird thing about you? I like plasters. 

10.) Top 5 TV shows you like to watch? The Big Bang Theory, Friends, Lucifer, The Vampire Diaries and The Originals.

11.) What are your favorite boys names? Henry, Riley and Micheal.

12.) What are your favorite girls names? Joy, Amelia and ??

13.) Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? I have 3, a dedication to my gramps, a quote with an anchor beside it and a big thigh sleeve with candy skulls and smoke.

14.) Do you plan on getting (more) tattoos? If so, what do you want to get as of the moment? I plan on getting the word Joy on me as its my nans name and a love heart on my finger or wrist dedicated to someone special. 

15.) Do you have any piercings? Do you plan on getting more? I’ve had 20 piercings, but I want my nose re-pierced again, twice.

16.) Do you like hugging people? Only people that smell good.

17.) Think of ANY person on earth right now.  Who did you think of? My boyf.

18.) Do you have an iPhone? Yes.

19.) What is the worst thing that could happen in your life right now? Family demise.

20.) Do you watch anime? Pokemon and Dragon ball z.

21.) What brings true happiness? Family and who you make your family.

22.) What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever paid for? My laptop.

23.) If you could have any job in the world and get paid millions of dollars a year for it, what would you be and why? Game beta testing.

24.) Do you want children? If so, how many? Just the one, I don’t want to ruin my body lol. Low key true.

25.) Name and describe someone who you feel most comfortable around. Paul, the boyf.

26.)If you could invent a holiday, what would it be? Every Friday would be no work day.

27.)Would you rather have summer weather or winter weather all year round? Winter.

28.) If you could make an alien race, describe what they would look like. Minions.

29.)  What was the first thing you learned to cook? Korma.

30.) Describe your sense of humor. Dark.

31.) What is the key to happiness? Family.

32.) How many phone numbers do you have committed to memory? Whose numbers are they? 1, Mine.

33.) Name three songs that make you want to dance. Anything Jake Bugg, Ed Sheeran.

34.) What job did you want to have as a child? Hair dresser, but it urns out I’m left handed and can’t use scissors. 

35.) Do you have any talents or skills? Nope.

36.) What was the worst punishment you’ve ever had? ;)

37.) Did you ever do anything weird as a child? Pfft, probably.

38.) What is your dream car? Audi R8

39.)  Describe something that made you laugh this week. Forever getting people with ‘You’ve got something on your shirt’ and when they look down hit there nose.

40.) Did you have a dream last night? If so, describe it. Nope.

41.)  Do you ever have repetitive dreams? Describe it/them. Horror dreams.

42.) Describe the worst/ scariest dream you’ve ever had. My reoccurring dream.

43.) Describe the best dream you’ve ever had. Everyone was still with us. 

44.) If God himself gave you a choice of either having unlimited money for the rest of your life or finding your one true love starting tomorrow, which one would you choose (keep in mind, you are still able to make a ton of money if you choose love, and you are still able to meet your soul mate if you choose money)? Already met my soul mate so give me that wonger. 

45.) If you could do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) right now without consequences, what would you do and why? Just a slight murder lol.

46.) Do you have any recipes that you know off the top of your head? What is it/ what are they? ??

47.) Do you have your license? If so, do you have a car? Nope.

48.) Have you ever had a near death experience? Nope.

49.) Do you personally know anyone that has been to prison? Yeah.

50.) Have you ever been in a physical fight? Not really. 

51.) When you get out of the shower, do you towel dry, blow dry, or air dry your hair? Towel then air. 

52.) When you go to the movies, what snacks and drinks do you take with you? A slushy and popcorn.

53.) Do you like going to the beach? If so, do you like to stay dry or go in the water? If not, why? I dip my toes in, I hate salt water, or rather whats hiding in it. 

54.) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope.

55.) If you could have a superpower ASIDE from being invisible or being able to fly, what would you have? The power of healing. 

56.) If you were able to live for however long you wanted to (i’m talking thousands of years without aging), when would you choose to die? Just before my future husband, so we go together. 

57.) What do you think happens after you die? Something, I’m not sure what but this can’t be it. 

58.) Do you believe in aliens? Yes, to believe we’re the only ones in the entire universe is ridiculous. 

59.) Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah. 

60.) Do you believe in spiritual things like ouija boards, tarot cards, and crystals? Do you believe they are portals for evil entities to enter the mortal world?  I believe it tempting fate and good and bad energys. 

61.) If you could make one mythical being real, who/what would you make? Unicorns.

62.) Do you get tan, or do you burn? Burn.

63.) Describe your shower routine. I like baths.

64.) Do you enjoy school? Why or why not? I enjoyed it looking back now.

65.) In your opinion, what is the worst way to die? Drowning.

66.) Do you get carsick, sea sick, or airplane sickness? Nope.

67.) What’s one memory that you wish you could live again and again? Christmas day when I was little.

68.) What were some of your stuffed animal’s names from when you were a kid? Mr Red, Lala and Panda. 

69.)Do you have any pets? I have two toy poodles, one brown Benny4 and one black Marley1. 

70.) Describe your daily wardrobe. Black.

71.)  Describe what your daily wardrobe would be if you were rich. Expensive black.

72.)  Create a character right now.  Give them a name, age, and character description. Damon, 7, blonde, blue eyes.

73.)What was the last thing you bought? Subway.

74.) Have you ever bought a CD? What band was it for? Yes, busted.

75.) Describe your perfect ice cream sundae. Chocolate brownie.

76.) If you could make ANYTHING happen right now with no cost, trouble, or obstacles, what would you do? Move my family somewhere nice, so we could all be like neighbors and spend more time together.  

77.) What are some of your favorite physical activities to do? Swim, basketball, gym.

78.) What were some of your favorite shows as a child? Teletubbies, Rosie&Jim, Fireman Sam, Johnny Bravo, Powerpuff girls, Dexter’s Lab. 

79.) Describe how you would survive the zombie apocalypse. I kill myself before I was eventually eaten. 

80.)What are some things you shouldn’t say at work? Tell your customers to fuck off.

81.) If you were told that if you killed someone, you would save 100 people, would you do it? Yeah.

82.) How’s the weather right now? Boiling. 

83.) What is the background on your cell phone right now? My dog Benny.

84.)Is it better to work at a job that you love or a job that pays well? Love.

85.) What do you have within arms reach of your bed? Everything, my rooms tiny.

86.) Have you ever been fired from a job? If so, why? Nope.

87.) Have you ever won a trophy, prize, or medal? If so, for what? A few as a kid for dance.

88.) Do you have any posters, pictures, or art hanging on your walls in your room? If so, what are they? A poster of the Friends cast, a Busted poster from when I saw them last year and a fake Banksy with the panda holding two guns. 

89.) Are you afraid of the dark? If so, why? Not so much the dark its whats hiding in it.

90.)What is something that you’ve never done but would like to try? Learn to play piano. 

91.) If you could choose three famous people or characters to be friends with, who would you choose and why? Greg Davis, Russel Howard and Frankie Boyle, I’d cry laughing every time I saw them.

92.) Do you smile at strangers when you pass by them on the street? Yeah.

93.) Do you have a favorite TV commercial? If so, what is it? Christmas coca-cola

94.) Do you like your handwriting? No, it’s small and messy.

95.) Cable TV or Netflix? Netflix.

96.) What are your favorite smells? Jimmy Choo - Blossom.

97.) Do you consider yourself physically strong? Nope.

98.) Describe a time where you said something really rude or mean, whether intentional or not. To my step sister when I was uninvited to her wedding.

99.) Do you ask strangers to pet their dogs? Yes.

100.)What is your most embarrassing moment? Passing out.

101.) Has anyone really close to you ever died? If so, who was it and how did you handle it? Yes and badly

102.)  Describe your plan of action if you were home alone and you heard someone break into your house. I’d take my Harley Quinn baseball bat and hide.

103.) If you were to be born again, would you want to be born male or female? Male, I want to see what all the fuss is about.

104.)  What shampoo do you use? Aussie.

105.) Guess the meaning of this word: Ulotrichous Having woolly or curly hair - thanks Google.

106.) Do you let messages (phone, email, text, social media, etc…) build up, or do you have to look at them right away? Build up, I’m not the talking type.

107.)  Where is the nearest McDonalds to your house? Ten minute walk.

108.)  If you had $1 billion and you had to spend it in exactly one week, what would you spend it on? Houses and investment.

109.) What is the best thing you’ve ever eaten? Food?!

110.) If you could go on a trip around the world with up to three people, who would you bring (they can be people you know personally or famous people). Boyf, Roman Atwood and Kane.

111.) What expletive/ explicit phrase do you say most often? Fuck you.

112.) What is your personal definition of success? Never giving up.

113.) How was your day today? Meh.

114.) What is the closest Big City you live by? London.

115.) Have you ever been in a car accident? A minor one.

116.) Do you hide anything from your parents? Nope.

117.) If you could possess one talent, what would you be able to do? Sing.

118.) Ugly and smart or beautiful and stupid? Both.

119.) What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in real life? ..

120.) Use only 3 words to describe how you want your future to go. Happy, Family & Carefree.

121.) QUICK! give me a few things a brick could be useful for Hitting someone.

122.) If you could make a dream society, describe it in great detail where it would be, who would be in it, and what rules there would be? World peace.

123.) If you could make any animal miniature, what would you make and why? St Barnard.

124.) What are your favorite candle scents? Vanilla. 

125.) If you HAD to have one plastic surgery, what would you get and why? Bigger boobs. 

126.) Do you prefer to hang out with the same sex or the opposite sex? Opposite.

127.) If you could make a charity, what would the profits go towards? How would you raise money for it? Helpless children, runs, auctions..

128.) Describe the body you wish you had. slimmer.

129.) If you were a famous director, what would your next movie be about? Describe the plot, characters, and possible title. Comedy.

130.) If only women were to rule the world, how different would the world be by 2050? It would be better.

131.) What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Wine.

132.) Do you have a problematic friend? I am that friend lol.

133.) Are you more spontaneous or more of a planner? Planner.

134.) If you could change your full name, what would your name be? I wouldn’t.

135.) What is one song that describes your life? Why does it always rain on me.

136.) What is one show you’ve been meaning to watch but can never find the time for? 24.

137.) Do you find it easy to drop toxic people from your life that you’ve known for a long time? No.

138.) Do you like children? Why or why not? When I can give them back they’re great.

139.) What is your zodiac sign? Cancer.

140.) Do you like to dance? Do you dance often? In front of other people? Nope.

141.) Name some of your favorite colors. Grey, Black & Red.

142.) Have you ever shoplifted? If so, what was it? Yes, clothes.

143.) If you could speak three additional languages, what would they be? Italian, Chinese & Spanish. 

144.) Have you ever been in legal trouble? Not really.

145.) Have you ever had surgery? Nope.

146.) If you could change 2 things about yourself, what would you change and why? Belly and thighs - to big.

147.) What do you want done with your body after you die? Burnt then buried.

148.) What three physical features do people compliment you most on? What do they say about them? Eyes, ass and tits.

149.) If you could have your own business, what would you do? Anything.

150.) What current friend do you have that you’ve known the longest? Samantha-20 years.

[topsolarpanels]

The 76 ers’ mad analytics experimentation was doomed to fail- but at least it was memorable

Basketball had never seen an attempt to build a franchise the route Sam Hinkie wanted to. And with Colangelo and DAntoni now on board, were unlikely to see it again

The Sixers have attained losers out of all of us.

The 1-29 experiment in tanking analytics is being tainted by the introduction of basketball people in Jerry Colangelo and Mike DAntoni. After more than two and a half years of of Sam Hinkie being able to do whatever he wants, dump any asset and draft every damaged 7ft guy the world over, those above Hinkie are now forcing him to be influenced by two guys whose knowledge of statistical analysis probably ends with recognizing also that a three-pointer is worth more than a two-pointer.

In Colangelo and DAntoni, chairman of basketball operations and associate head coach-and-four respectively, the Sixers are wrecking what mad statistician/ GM Hinkie was constructing before we all got to see the final Frankenstatistic product. The Sixers are like a bold avant garde movie that had the studio fell Keanu Reeves and Reese Witherspoon into it halfway through filming. Pulling Hinkies computer plug now is like refusing to allow infinite monkeys to finish writing on their typewriters.

Its dropping the funding on the development of an alternative energy vehicle that was to be fueled entirely on weed smoke.

If those analogies are bad or confounding or tortured, theyre even more fitting for whatever it is that Hinkie was attempting to do with his bad and confounding and tormented Sixers. Unfortunately , now well never know. Because now the Sixers have basketball people with basketball knowledge.

Jeff Skversky (@ JeffSkversky) December 21, 2015

#Sixers chairperson Jerry Colangelo tells #ESPN the #Sixers are absence basketball people& knowledge – that’s why they hired Mike D’Antoni

Yuck. With the input of Colangelo and DAntoni, the Sixers will no doubt become like any other squad, scratching and clawing for semi-relevance and a low playoff seed barring a generational star falling into their laps.

Hinkie promised something different. No squad had ever tanked like Hinkies Sixers. Previous sports tankings were designed to land one special player and then instantly get to work on contending. Hinkies tanking was indefinite, geared to draft no one in particular other than maybe discovering the NBAs first eight-footer and didnt promise arguing any time soon. This is a team that has won one of its last 40 games over two seasons and indicates zero signs of arriving improvement.

Basketball had never seen an attempt to build a franchise this route. And with the Sixers giving up, were unlikely to ever see it again.

Maybe Colangelo, Hinkie, DAntoni and Brett Brown will mesh perfectly and build a balanced squad in Philadelphia that will contend for championships in the near future. But even if that happens, well still be left with the nagging is the issue of what might have been. Awesome or terrible and it was looking more and more like terrible Hinkies ultimate The Process Sixers were going to be memorable.

Weve lost them eternally. We are losers. We are all just Sixers now.

Vine of the week

Alex Kennedy (@ AlexKennedyNBA) December 18, 2015

Kevin Durant x Dr J – Under The Basket Reverse Layup( Vine by @TheCauldron) https :// t.co/ BnTBDgJQy5

In last weeks tight four-point loss at Cleveland, Durant pulled off a pretty spot-on Dr J impression in the first quarter. But its not even Durants best Julius Erving-style reverse layup in his career. Check out this ridiculousness from three seasons ago against the Nuggets TAGEND

When your wingspan is that of an adult condor, the normal binds of sidelines and backboards simply dont apply.

How did LeBron carry the Cavalier this week?

After LeBron sat out back on December 5 in Clevelands loss to the Heat, he has returned to median 27, six and five as Cleveland has won five in a row. Kyrie Irving even owes his first points of the season to LeBron thanks to James passing up a dunk on Sunday to give Irving an easy bucket.

Somewhere someone awful ripped James for over-passing on this play.

Quote of the week

I actually feel sorry for people who have nothing to do on Christmas Day other than watch an NBA game. I think we get a little carried away with ourselves in sports supposing were more important than everything else. Stan Van Gundy

Full disclosure: that hilarious quote is not from this week. Its not even from this year. Van Gundy said it back in 2009 when he was head coach-and-four of the Orlando Magic.( Fun fact: the Magic were then penalty by Scrooge Stern over Van Gundys public objection to working on Christmas. Really .) Van Gundys Pistons arent scheduled to play on Christmas this year, so he can expend the vacation doing whatever it is that people with rich, full lives do instead of watching basketball. Watching A Christmas Story over and over maybe?

Power Rankings

1. Golden State Warriors( Last week: 1 )

After their slip-up against the Bucks, the Warriors seem to be rolling on towards the 1996 Bulls wins record with back-to-back victories by an average margin of 17 points. But maybe not everything is perfect. Consider that Steph Curry is shooting just 47% from the floor in his last four games while NBA laughing stock Kobe Bryant is shooting 51% in his last four. Can the Warriors genuinely expect to win a title in 2015 with a shooting guard who is worse than Kobe? Hashtag: FunWithStats.

2. San Antonio Spurs( 2 )

Gregg Popovich is on-record as disliking the three-point shoot, but Kawhi Leonard is on pace for a career-high in three-pointers made and his 47.2 three-point percentage is even better than Currys. Leonard better knock it off or he could get benched.

3. Cleveland Cavaliers( 4 )

Kyrie Irving played his first game of the season on Sunday against the Sixers. Bullying is incorrect and the Cavaliers should apologize.

4. Oklahoma City Thunder( 3 )

Kevin Durant hit a go-ahead jumper with 5.8 seconds left on Monday night and then blocked Chris Paul as day expired to give the Thunder a 100 -9 9 win in Los Angeles against the Clippers. Its probably more productive if we all stop debating if Durant or Russell Westbrook is the best player on the Thunder and instead talking here how fun it is to watch a team play that has both of them healthy and in their primes.

5. Miami Heat (8 )

The Heat are said to be a possible landing place for Dwight Howard in a potential trade, which are truly be a good deal for Miami if theyre looking to get a 30 year-old player in rapid decline who is owed $23 million next year.

6. Atlanta Hawks( 16 )

Dennis Schroder had a tooth knocked out against Portland on Monday night and reacted by calmly placing it in his sock.

Joe Giglio (@ JoeGiglioSports) December 22, 2015

Dennis Schroder lost a tooth last night and decided to set it in his sock. https :// t.co/ QWPc7MaPw 5

If Schroder puts things like teeth in his socks, the lint tray in his washing machine must be quite a sight.

7. Indiana Pacers( 9 )

George Hill is the next Jason Kidd. Not because hes a future Hall of Famer. Hes not. Hes just a point guard who, like Kidd, will forever have regrettable photos of himself online with a blonde dye chore.

8. Toronto Raptors( 5 )

The Raptors have lost three of four, including a 10 -point home loss to the lowly Kings on Monday. Maybe the unusually warm wintertime climate has tricked them into playing like they do in April.

9. Dallas Mavericks( 11 )

Head coach Rick Carlisle tells Chandler Parson has been a lot of hard work to recover from hybrid microfracture surgery on his right knee: Everybody wants a nice cooked steak, but nobody wants to see you chopping up the cows in the back. The last five or six months, Parson has been in the back butchering clows thats the kind of work hes had to do. Rick, you play in Texas. Everyone is absolutely fine with chopping up cows.

10. Chicago Bulls( 6 )

The Bulls have lost three in a row and Jimmy Butler tells new head coach-and-four Fred Hoiberg needs to coach the team a lot harder. Before this year, the Bulls were coached by the ball of stress and rage that is Tom Thibodeau, so Butlers idea of what constitutes intense coaching may be a little bit skewed.

11. Detroit Pistons( 15 )

The Pistons released Josh Smith a year ago today. Detroit was 5-23 at the time and has gone 43 -3 9 since. Perhaps the Clippers, Smiths current employer, should try to turn their lucks around by releasing him this year.

12. Orlando Magic( 14 )

As 24 year-old Magic center Nikola Vucevic continues to take steps to toward becoming a star, its fun to think back to 2012 when he was a throw-in with Andre Iguodala in the trade that netted the Sixers Andrew Bynum and Jason Richardson. What if the Sixers had maintained Vucevic? Sam Hinkie would have yet another talented seven-footer on his roster. On the downside, Vucevic would be helping Hinkies squad win games.

13. Boston Celtics( 10 )

Celtics fans dedicated Kevin Garnett a long salute on Monday night in what was probably his last-ever game in Boston.

Garnett smiled broadly even though his squad lost. This is not the same Kevin Garnett who played in Boston.

14. Los Angeles Clippers( 7 )

The disappointing Clippers and awful Lakers play on Christmas Day. The only way the sports day can get worse in L.A. is if everyone wakes up and find the Rams and Chargers under their tree.

15. Houston Rockets( 17 ) The Rockets have won three in a row thanks to playing their best defense of the season. And just think how hard the rest of the team has to play defense when James Harden is doing this TAGEND

YannickYounique (@ Yannick_DYB) December 20, 2015

I know we say it all the time but James Harden is the worst defender ever pic.twitter.com/ e5mMkKiVtk

16. Charlotte Bobcats( 12 )

Just when we all guessed the Bobcats might finally be turning the corner, they ran and lost four of five to fall out of the top eight in the Eastern Conference. This is where a clever Internet person would insert the Jordan screaming meme.

17. Memphis Grizzlies( 13 )

The Grizzlies are showing signs that their new small-ball approach could pay off. Now they just have to perfect it to the point of besting the small-ball champ Warriors. Good luck, guys!

18. Washington Wizards( 20 )

John Wall dished out a career-high 19 shall take part in Mondays win over the Kings only to injury his ribs in the final minutes. This is your latest reminder that Washington D.C. sports cant ever win.

19. Utah Jazz( 18 )

The Jazz beat the Sun on Monday night, allowing them to retain the No. 8 place in the West at 12 -1 4. The Western Conference continues to make a strong suit that it is the new Eastern Conference.

20. Milwaukee Bucks( 21 )

Do the Bucks deserve to be in the Top 20? No, probably not. They lost by 18 to the Lakers a week ago, after all. But Milwaukee is the only team to beat the Warriors this season and with Golden State looking for revenge back on Friday, the Bucks had a 10 -point fourth one-quarter result!( Before ultimately losing by nine .) That deserves a trophy. Maybe even a parade. It at least deserves a place in the Top 20 of our power rankings , no matter how temporary.

21. New York Knicks( 20 ) 22. Denver Nuggets( 24 ) 23. Sacramento Kings( 26 ) 24. Phoenix Suns( 24 ) 25. Minnesota Timberwolves( 25 ) 26. Portland Trail Blazers( 22 ) 27. New Orleans Pelicans( 28 ) 28. Brooklyn Nets( 27 ) 29. Los Angeles Lakers( 29 ) 30. Philadelphia 76 ers( 30 )

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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