#it's a children's movie so i'm not saying it will blow your mind

[hunsa-jars]

I hate myself fr, it's the second day of my movie nights and I really just put the gilf Scrooge movie on priority when I only found ou it exists like... yesterday

I FOUND OUT YESTERDAY THAT IT EXISTS AND IT ROTTED MY BRAIN SO HARD BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE MORE OF SCROOGE I'M 💀

Shame me now

[askinkiskarma]

Cruel Summer | Chapter I: August

Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Human!Reader

Word Count: 9.5k words

Warnings/notes: angst, allusions to/mentions of smut, friends-with-benefits, mutual pining, 18+ minors DNI

Synopsis: You and Neteyam have been friends since you were children, and you taught each other everything, from English and Na'vi, to movie references and hunting, to everything about your own and the other's bodies. It was the perfect friendship-with-benefits, on paper. But how long can it last in the face of all that stands to tear it apart?

A/N: I'm so excited to say my new Neteyam series is officially here, and I hope you enjoy the first chapter!! This was for some reason one of the easiest and at the same time, one of the hardest piece i've ever written, like some parts came to me almost instantly and others I STRUGGLED WITH, besties. I hope it's not super disjointed and that you're as excited as me to embark on this journey. Thank you for your patience and can't wait to hear your thoughts. As always, I deeply appreciate your replies, reblogs, likes and follows, they mean so much x ly besties xoxo

: ̗̀➛ listen to August here : ̗̀➛ masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x)

Your back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it

Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you

There was so much about you and Neteyam’s relationship, if you can even call it that, that was wrong and unsightly, that was forbidden and hidden. But, as you stood in the forest, propped on your elbows, taking in the sun shining brightly through the leaves and his toned, azure back, on which patterns of the forest branches rippling in the breeze formed, you couldn’t care less if you tried. In these moments, fleeting and irreplaceable, life was everything you’ve ever wanted, more than you could have ever dreamt, and enough to keep you going. In these moments, there were no humans and Na’vi, no impending doom, no animosity over your presence in the village, no hatred emanating from Neytiri’s entire being whenever her intense and prying eyes spotted you or Spider in the crowd or amongst her kids, no woman that would soon be bearing Neteyam’s children, there was nothing else, but him and you and the promise of hushed confessions and wandering hands, of lingering stares and breakable heaven. 

You couldn’t help be drawn by the silent invitation of his body, so tempting and beautiful, so big and different to yours, but just similar enough to allow for… certain enjoyable, mind-blowing pastime activities that were sure to occupy the time and every ounce of free space in your mind, and your soul, and your entire being. Your hand trailed on his back, from the nape of his neck to the band of his loincloth, moving over the scratches that you left on him just a couple hours ago, over the healed scars he got from battles and hunts that you could name and describe each of by heart, and you drew your name on his back with your fingers and the air beneath them as ink, hoping this way you’d mark him, this way you could keep him forever. Pushing the unpleasant thought aside, you playfully tugged at the purple fabric covering him. He turned around on his side to face you, his defined abs and chest fully on display, and the way he eyed you, desperate and needy, full of hunger and desire, made your stomach churn and core throb. 

“What do you think you’re doing, ma Vol?” 

Your mouth curved in a mischievous grin, which turned into a full-blown laugh as he grabbed your much smaller hands in one of his large blue ones and with very little visible effort, stretched your arms above your head and manoeuvred you on your back on the mossy, comfortable grass. He hovered over you, his smile mirroring your own from just a few moments ago, and he tapped the mask currently providing the oxygen needed to keep you alive with his index finger, the sound ringing in your ears like bells in a church. 

“I would give anything to not have this in the way right now.” 

“Me too. Death by make-out with a hot blue 9 something foot tall alien? There are worse ways to go.” 

He shook his head at you and scoffed, but you could tell he was amused. The desire you felt for him instantly diminished as the thought of the fact he would be heading home soon enough, home to his family and his new mate, crept unwelcome in the back of your mind and slowly moved forward, until it was everything, until it was the only thing. 

“Do you have to go back soon?”

He sighed and let you go, plopping himself back on the grass next to you, chest up and looking at the sky and the clouds moving above you, and all the shapes they made as they passed you by. 

“You know I do.” 

You knew. You’ve known for years, ever since the first time you and Neteyam started this game of hide and seek with the rest of the village, with each other, and with yourselves, that this was temporary, that one day, he would belong to someone else, and all you would be able to do is watch.

Salt air, and the rust on your door, I never needed anything more

Whispers of "Are you sure?", "Never have I ever before"

Your and Neteyam’s lives could not be more different. You were human, a tiny, inconsequential human, left behind after the war, unable to be hooked to cryo, so you stayed with the scientists who were fortunate enough to be allowed safe haven on this planet that was now as much their home as it was the Omatikaya’s. You knew nothing of Earth, other than stories told to you by your surrogate family and from whatever form of art they had with them, that brought them the comfort of a home long forsaken, but never forgotten. In time, it brought you comfort, too, knowing what Earth used to be like, knowing that humans were not just monsters, but had it in them to be smart, and kind, and funny, to create beautiful music, and poetry, to combine words, words that everybody had access to and everyone could speak, combine them in such a way that it brought tears in your eyes or happiness in your heart, that made you think and ponder about the meaning of growth, the meaning of love and laughter and life and death. It was beautiful, they were beautiful, and - you hoped - so were you.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

You and Neteyam shared many firsts throughout your 19 years of friendship. Despite your differences, despite your incompatibility and despite so many challenges facing you, despite both knowing it was most likely wrong and shouldn’t have happened, you always found solace in each other. You found yourselves in each other. You were each other’s first kiss, first sleep over, first flirtatious touch and first wandering hands, first make-out, first second base and first third base, first secret affair. Everything you knew about each other’s bodies, about your own bodies, you learned together. What makes each other tick, what makes each other tickle, what makes each other cum. In time, you knew everything about the other and you made sure you took advantage of that knowledge as often as you could. 

The first time you and Neteyam ever kissed was when you were both 12, both innocent children, both curious. At that time, he was not a lot bigger than you, as it turns out humans stopped growing in height a lot sooner than Na’vi did. Now, your full body reached his lower ribs, but at the time, he was only about a head taller than you. It was short and sweet, and so so innocent, and yet, it never left you. That kiss, which at the time was just fulfilling a curiosity more than anything else, started a complicated and convoluted journey that was full of potholes, full of tight swerves and icy roads, full of dangers and darkness, but a journey worth taking nonetheless, because in the short periods of clear skies and sun-kissed warmth, it had the most heavenly sights and luminous vistas, and it was everything. 

The first time you shared a bed, you were 15. Actually, a bed is a very loose term. In reality, it was just a mess of sheets in one of the recreation rooms that no other human or avatar really frequented, outside of you and Spider. It was large and tall, and had a huge screen where you usually watched movies whenever the Sullys came by to visit. Neteyam taught you Na’vi and he, being the dutiful son and soldier that he was, would come by to learn English at least once a week when he was young, knowing it would one day come in helpful against the humans. He didn’t say it, but you knew he also did it to be more like his dad, yet another way he emulated the Toruk Makto.

His favourite way to learn is with you, as you were also learning as you went along, and both of your favourite way to learn is by watching Earth videos, and movies and tv shows, and trying to figure out what the references meant, what the idioms meant, how to use slang that made no sense to your ears without the scientists explaining it to you. When you were alone, sometimes, you liked to make your own meaning for phrases, and laughed at your own little private jokes that no one else would ever be privy to. One of those evenings, that started with studying, and a marathon of Friends, ended with tangled limbs and soft snores, covered in blankets and the warmth of each other’s bodies. It was so innocent, and so childlike, and so was the second kiss you’ve ever shared, that happened in between giggles and The One Where Ross Finds Out, where the tension that erupted between Ross and Rachel and the kiss that resulted off it, prompted a philosophical discussion around physical displays of affection and what the big deal about it was. After trying it out for yourselves, you concluded it was overrated.

That didn’t last long, as your first make-out came soon after, a little less innocent and definitely less childlike. You discovered maybe there was some truth in those shows, and you discovered that you both enjoyed the tingling on your skin and the butterflies in your stomach that each other’s touch provided. That lasted for a few years, and eventually progressed into this, whatever this was. Initially, it was just curiosity. Then it became about how good release felt, how necessary it was, how much the pleasure helped both of you unwind and go about your day, forget about frustrations about the labs, and training, and parents and surrogate families, it could all be solved by each other’s bodies. It was purely self-indulgent, it was friends with benefits at its finest.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

But I can see us lost in the memory

August slipped away into a moment in time

'Cause it was never mine

But life never stopped around you, and the world didn’t stop around you, as much as it felt like it had when it was just the two of you. You both grew up, and while you were still the same human, still doing the same things and having the same limitations that would always plague you, Neteyam’s world was a constant whirlwind of which you were just a small breeze. In time, he took his Iknimaya and Uniltaron, he became a man, and a revered warrior, despite being only 19. Early last week, he even got a mate, and will soon consummate that mateship, and he will be bonded with her for life, and you will be just a part of the past, just a small reminder of his childhood, just a dull ache in a mass of growing pains. 

“What are you thinking about, ma Vol?” 

You smiled softly as his nickname pulled you out of your musings. Vol. He first called you that when you were kids, and he found out that on Earth, the eight month of the year, when you were born, was called August. The Na’vi had a name for August, and it was vospxìvol, and after the first time the word ever left his lips, so did any other name for you disappear from his mind. To everyone else, you were Y/N. To him, you were his Vol. His never-ending summer, your warmth surrounding him for all time, your day eclipsing his darkest nights. 

You wanted to be honest. To tell him what you thought about, what occupied your every other thought, what weighed on your heart so heavily it felt like it would overtake you, every day, all day, was him. It was how much, despite your unspoken agreement that this was purely physical, it got to mean more to you in time. It was how much you loved him, desperately and unconditionally, impermeably and forever. You wanted to tell him that you knew the rules, you knew that whatever this was couldn’t last, wouldn’t last, but there’s nothing more you wanted in this life than a way to make it last, to make him yours. That you curse your life every day that you will never be able to understand this world the way you were meant to, that you would never understand the bond the Na'vi have with it and with the beings in it, with each other, and that the thought of his queue, the most intimate part of him, a direct influx into his thoughts and feelings, connecting to someone else’s, made you sick to your stomach, made bile and acid gather in your mouth until it burned everything in its wake as you had to swallow you back down where it belonged. 

You felt stubborn tears pricking at your eyes and forced yourself to push them back away. Neteyam was your best friend, was the man that knew you more intimately than anyone else ever would and still, there were somethings better left unsaid, some cans of worms that would spoil even the most unfastidious of appetites. 

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away like a bottle of wine

'Cause you were never mine

“Just thinking about how I’m going to be able to explain all of these marks on my body, you fiend. I think I’m running out of ideas, there are only so many rashes Norm won’t get worried about, and only so many clothes that will cover all traces of you on me. I don’t have the luxury of shopping for more clothes, you know?” 

Neteyam laughed and you knew you were out of the woods and that he wouldn’t pry anymore. It was time for you to go back, time for you to deal with the unfairness of the universe in your own room, under the cover of darkness and solitude, drowning your senses in music and mindless entertainment. 

“Take me home?” 

He turned his back to you and knelt, waiting. You smiled at his unspoken way of telling you to get on his back, and obliged, attaching to him like a backpack. In reality, this was easier for him than walking next to you, as you were slow and a far cry from his nimble and athletic capabilities. Plus, it meant he got to keep you close a while longer, got to feel his heart beating on his back and your chest moving as you inhaled, and your breath in the crook of his neck. It was much better than walking. It didn’t take long for Hell’s Gate to appear into view, the big, mostly decrepit ruin of a city left behind by the humans large enough that it could be spotted from miles away. It was Jake’s decision as Olo’eyktan to have the Omatikaya village close-by, an attempt at keeping close to the scientists and uniting the two worlds, both of which you had a foot in, but nothing more - enough to not be homeless, never enough to truly belong in either.

“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” 

The silence was very loud, and you sighed in a desperate attempt to fill it. 

“You know you can say you’re going to see her. I’m not under any illusion that you have no contact with the woman you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with when you’re not with me.” 

It was his turn to sigh, and you found yourself regretting ever asking. 

“I know, but still…” 

“Yes?” 

“You and me… it’s… I -…” 

You chuckled bitterly. Neteyam wasn’t a man of many words, but he was a man who always knew what those words would be when they did come out of his beautiful mouth. He never blabbered, or got flustered, he was the most poised and sure of himself person you’ve ever met. And yet here he was, mind blank and uncertain tone, and you felt relieved, at least to some extent, that he wasn’t completely unaffected by this whole situation, that you weren’t going through this completely by yourself. 

“I know.”

“I love you, you know?” 

That you did know. 

Remember when I pulled up and said, "Get in the car"

And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?

Back when I was living for the hope of it all

Neteyam’s mind tortured him today more than most other days, as so many memories of your life together enveloped him, and the warmth they provided was quickly dispersed by thoughts of a face, a new face, a known and yet strange face, the face of the woman he’s been promised to. They wrestled with images of your face, beautiful and alien, so different from everything he knew and yet so familiar, of your body that he knew so intimately, that he knew better than his own, images of it trembling under him, of your parted lips and the moans that escape it, of your eyes he dreamt about each night shut tightly as each orgasm washed over you, of your hands that always found their way to his back or his ass, pushing him deeper in you, or in his hair, pulling on it or tugging it behind his ear.

It’s been almost two years since the first time he’s known you like this. The first time, it was awkward and strange, there was so much fumbling and so much that neither of you knew, and despite how many movies you watched, there was very little information on Na’vi and human… relationships, so it took a lot of trial and error to get to where you were at now, a point of no return, a point of unspeakable pleasures and feelings that ran so deep, they’d put most oceans to shame. Feelings that he hid, because speaking them out loud would lead to only heartbreak. What you two had worked. It’s worked for so long, neither of you knew anything else. You were best friends, you knew everything about each other. So why would he ever risk it? Why would he ever ruin it, since there was no future anyway?

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Neteyam knew that what you did was wrong. It was wrong, but it never felt wrong. It felt so right. Despite all of your differences, despite all of the ways you could never be together, despite the fact that he could never form tsaheylu with you, nothing compared to the feeling of you falling asleep with your limbs all over his torso, with your head in the crook of his neck. Nothing compared to the connection he felt when he sank in you and you looked in each other’s eyes, and it felt like he could hear all of your thoughts, feel everything you were feeling, and he knew you did, too. In those moments, he thinks you both knew that what you had was far away from what it was always intended to be, and far away from how simple he thought it was when you first started it.

Because now there was someone else. Another woman, a woman that he’d have to bond with, have babies with, start a family with, a woman he had to love. A woman that wasn’t you. And while the thought of it made his skin crawl, so did the thought of disappointing his parents and his clan, who he would lead one day, by refusing, by not following through, by admitting he’s been engaging in these sort of relationships with a human, an alien. A demon. His mother could barely stomach you and Spider as her kids’ friends, Neteyam knew she’d have a heart attack is she were to hear about the activities you and her son got up to on a daily basis. 

Your chuckles ceased his train of thought, and he was glad. 

“You can put me down now, Teyam.” 

The gate to the big metal complex was so close to Neteyam he could feel the smell of metal inundating his nose and coating his tongue. He hated this smell, and he hated this place. You were the only good thing about it. 

“Sorry. Got lost in thoughts.” 

He heard the unmistakable sound of an oxygen mask being removed and his heart booming in his ears as panic took over him instantly, but he had no time to react to it as you turned his face towards you and placed your lips on his in a needy, desperate kiss that made him weak in the knees, that redirected his galloping heart from panic to desire, to ache… to love. Once you broke the kiss, Neteyam watched as you gasped for air and helped you tightened the mask over your face again, and then jumped from his back and onto the ground. 

“What was that for?” 

“Just saying thank you for a good day.” 

Just saying please don’t forget me once you reach her tent tonight. 

There was still a lot of commotion in the labs as you made your way through the corridors to reach your bedroom, and despite your body telling you it’s exhausted and needs sleep, you instead put on a lab coat and joined them, since you knew that going to bed meant unnecessary suffering and putting your mind through scenarios it didn’t need to think about just yet, not when they would all become reality soon and there was no point in living through it twice. You were surprised to find Spider in one of the cell culture labs, chatting animatedly with Norm. He smiled widely as he spotted you, and you tried your best to reciprocate and push aside all the ugly feelings plaguing you. 

“Hey, everyone.”

“Hi, gorgeous.” 

You knew Spider had a crush on you, and that he has had a crush on you for a while now. You weren’t sure if the crush was on your per se, or just on the only person who shared a similar age and species with him, but you didn’t have it in you to ever question him or turn him away. He was a good friend, and a good guy, and who knows? Maybe it was fate that you two were the only human children on Pandora, maybe it was fate that you were here together at the same time. Maybe despite your mind convulsing in pain just at the thought of him, thought of anyone else but Neteyam, he was who you would end up with, your only chance at lasting love, at a family. Maybe life was less about what you want, less about what makes you happy and more about the greater good, the greater purpose, the ability to make something out of nothing. Maybe. 

“What have you been up to today, kid?” 

“Not much, just training with Neteyam. Can’t you tell by my bulging muscles?” 

Norm removed his eyes from the microscope they were glued to, in order to eye you intently up and down. 

“All I can tell is that rash is not getting any better. You need to use the hydrocortisone cream I put in your room.” 

You prayed that neither men couldn’t see the blush that made your cheeks so hot from the inside out, you were struggling to keep your hands by your side and not fanning your face aggressively. 

“Will do, Norm. Need any help?” 

He thought about it for a while, then pointed to one of the incubators. 

“You can split the cells? I was going to ask Harry to do it, but since you’re here and want to help…” 

You smile at the chance to keep your mind occupied at least for a little while, at chance to not think about whatever it was that Neteyam was doing with another girl, with someone else that wasn’t you. 

The next few weeks passed in a blur, and so much has changed in your life, it was hard to keep track. The humans have officially returned to Pandora, and in their return, obliterated endless amounts of precious forest, of natural resources, of life that will never come back, that will always be mourned and missed. You were all forced to move camp, deep in the Hallelujah mountains, where the Flux Vortex was too powerful to allow for detection. It was painful and scary, and you felt numb as you had to say goodbye to the only home you’ve known for 19 years, to the forest and to the village. You couldn’t imagine how to villagers felt, how the Sullys felt… how Neteyam felt. There was only one thing that made this time bearable, and that was the fact that Neteyam’s mateship was postponed until things settled down. It was only temporary, and it meant very little in the grand scheme of things, but you were just happy you didn’t have yet another earth-shattering event clawing at your insides, ripping you to shreds. 

The relief didn’t last long, though, as Neteyam might not be sleeping with another girl, but he was also not sleeping with you anymore, either. The move and the new quarters meant a lot less privacy and a lot less space. You were fortunate enough to have your own room in the new labs, but the room was tiny and sharing a wall with Norm and Max. Neteyam was forced to move back into his parents’ tent, which meant the two of you never got a chance to be together at night anymore. He hasn’t come to visit you since the last time he took you back to Hell’s gate, and that was almost 2 weeks ago.

 

Today, you were hoping to change that. Today, you would ask him to take you to a different floating rock, or on an Ikran ride, or anywhere else but here, in this place that felt stifling and suffocating, this place that couldn’t, wouldn’t feel like home, no matter what. You missed him. You needed him. He had been the calm in all the chaos of your mind your whole life, and especially now, the spiralling felt particularly dizzying, the current particularly hard to navigate. 

As you were mindlessly pipetting some treatments of some cells, your mind wandered to the Sullys, all of whom were away today. The kids were in the forest, exploring woods that were no longer particularly safe to navigate. You knew they didn’t care, but still couldn’t help roll your eyes at the sheer irresponsibility. They asked you to come, but getting into any more trouble with Neytiri, or risking running into any humans didn’t particularly appeal to you. On the other hand, Neteyam and his parents were on a family hunt, a sweet tradition that has begun soon after Neteyam completed his Iknimaya and continued since, running of 6 years. 

Spending time with the Sullys was for sure one of your favourite ways to pass the time. The kids have always loved and welcomed you and Spider into their lives and their family, no matter how much Neytiri might have tried to influence them otherwise. Though Kiri found Spider her closest friend, you and her still loved hanging out together, loved being in each other’s companies, loved speaking for hours on end about everything and nothing. Kiri was drawn to humans, as Lo’ak was, and they took to your culture, your different ways of being, and thinking and existing, more so than any other Na’vi you knew. You assumed a lot of it had to do with their own differences to the clan, differences that while to you were insignificant, to them and to the Omatikaya, it meant the difference between a true Na’vi and a half-breed, an alien. Their slightly atypical appearance, which they shared with Jake, could be overlooked in him, as he was the Olo’eyktan, the Toruk Makto, the man that helped Eywa save their planet and their clan from certain death, but unfortunately for both his kids, that courtesy rarely extended to them.

Neteyam and Tuk looked all Na’vi, and could both pass as twins of their mother’s appearance at different stages of her life. Neteyam was the prince of the Omatikayan rule. He was tall and handsome, he was lean and muscular, and while his face was his mother’s, his body was definitely his father’s. Neteyam was a warrior. Through and through, he was forged in fire, with metal bones and razor-sharp teeth. He was forged to be unbreakable, to be the hope of the clan, the heir to the throne, the perfect son, the greatest soldier. Neteyam was one of the youngest Na’vi to go through his second birth after completing his Iknimaya and Uniltaron. He is the last man to get a bow made from the original Home Tree, that was burned to the ground almost 20 years ago. He was the epitome of the Omatikaya, and he wore all of these hats proudly, and he fought permanently to be worthy of them. Neteyam didn’t know what it was like to disappoint his parents, or his people. Unlike Lo’ak, he couldn’t afford to. Because of Lo’ak, he couldn’t afford to. He was willing to give anything… everything up in order to live up to the unrealistic expectations placed on him, because to him, that’s the only way to live. You admired him, admired his resolve and admired his will. You didn’t understand it, but you were human. You were selfish in nature, and you didn’t think that was a bad thing. You didn’t think being a little selfish sometimes was bad. In your mind,  you shouldn’t have to live only for others. You only had one life, a short life, and that life should be lived, and that life should be enjoyed. That was a cause of a great deal too many arguments between you and your best friend, and it is something you will never see eye to eye on. 

Norm’s aggressive entrance made you yelp out in surprise, and so did his face, contorted in pain and fear, so unlike the kind, calm and chipper one you’ve gotten to know throughout the years. 

“Get ready. Jake radioed me, the kids were attacked by the humans. They’re coming back now, so let’s make sure we have supplies prepared, so we can patch them up.” 

You felt a shudder overtake your body, and your hands, holding a pipette in one hand and a centrifuge tube in the other, felt limp and weak, felt like the weight was too much for your body to reasonably take. 

You got up from your chair almost robotically, feeling our mind blank as the information stewed and settled in it, until it reached a point it was the only thing ringing through your otherwise deafened ears. 

“Come on, honey.” 

“A-are…” you couldn’t even finish the sentence, couldn’t even bring your mouth to speak the words that were haunting your soul, that were constricting your heart.You were out of your mind with worry, so much worry, it was permeating through every cell of your being and bringing out toxins you didn’t even know resided in you, poisoning your blood and and making you pant, making you want to scream in anguish at the possibility of your honorary siblings, of him, being in any way hurt, in any way touched by any of the humans. 

“I think they’re alright. A little banged up, and probably terrified, but I think they’re ok. Jake didn’t say much, so let’s be prepared for everything. Get suture kits, and gauze, get numbing cream, the works.” 

You were grateful for Norm, now and always, for how he’s been more of a father figure to you than you could have ever anticipated or even hoped for. He’s loved and cared for you and Spider like you were his own, and you will never be able to repay him for all the attention and affection, but you strived to make him proud, strived to be a good student, a good scientist, a good person, a good daughter. That’s one of the reasons why you spent a lot of your time in Hell’s gate in the adjacent forest, and less time in the village. One of the reasons. 

As you got out of the labs and were hit by the warm thin air of the Omatikaya stronghold, you gasped as your eyes landed on Neteyam, who had deep cuts that leaked blood, like your eyes were leaking tears, both dropping carelessly, his on the ground, yours gathering at the bottom of your mask. His face cleared up as it spotted you in the crowd, and a quick look of easement panned across his features, and for a second, just a second, it felt like there was no one else in this world but you two, like this planet was an empty void kept alive and spinning by the magnitude of your love, by the gravity of the feelings pulling you towards each other, electrifying the air around you.

Your feet carried you forward with a mind of their own, and before you knew it, you were running, dropping the bag of supplies on the floor and pushing people out of the way - or at least trying to, not very successful when you were as strong as a literal toddler. The relief you felt overtook all your other thoughts, all your discernment of your circumstances and you surroundings, all the self-awareness of the situation and the knowledge you had to keep your feelings under wraps. It all went out the window as you jumped in Neteyam’s arms and circled your arms around his neck and your legs around his hips and although he winced in pain, he immediately tightened his grip and you and pulled you in closer. 

You moved until you came face to face with him, and you eyed him attentively to make sure he was alright, that he was really here and safe. 

“Are you -?” 

“I’m fine, ma Vol.” he smiled at you, and you could tell he was trying to tell you something by the way his eyes moved from yours to behind you. You were scared to follow his gaze, terrified to look behind you and see Neytiri glowering at you, and the confused, maybe scandalised faces of the rest of the Na’vi. So you didn’t. You got down and moved in line to all the rest of your surrogate siblings, doing a similar ritual, so as to not stand out from Neteyam’s. Lo’ak was happy to kneel and open his arms wide for you, and you appreciated this boy you loved so much more in this moment than you could ever tell him. He always knew what to do, he understood you well, just like you understood him. 

You finished with Spider, who looked a little more hurt than all the rest of them, and you knew it’s because, unlike them, his bones weren’t made with naturally occurring carbon fibre, so his body suffered a lot more every time something didn’t go to plan. It pained you to see him like this, hurting and bruised, and it hurt you more to see the anguish and fear haunting his eyes. You touched his arm and smiled softly as heat spread out where your hands traced his injuries, and when he looked at you, he shook his head, signalling for you to not question him any further, at least not for now. You nodded silently.

As the only two humans who were born on this foreign planet, you and Spider had a special bond. You had to, you had to stick together, because no one else really understood what either of you were going through except the other. He would always be the only one who understands the pain of being stuck in this body that was weak and feeble, that only one who understood the loneliness, the deep-seeded and monstrous loneliness that plagued you, the only one who understood what it was like to want something you can never have, like a chance to be one of the people, the chance to have a family, the chance at being accepted, the chance at being loved fully and without restraint, without pushback, without secrets. Spider has loved Kiri his whole life. You knew that. You also knew how hard he was fighting against it, how hard he was trying to convince himself he liked you instead, the only person on this planet that was made for him, whose body was compatible with his. Forbidden love is one of the many similarities you two shared. 

A small scream woke you up from your musings and you all snapped your head towards the sound that you now saw came from a woman, about your age, one that you knew very well, one that, despite every rational thought telling you otherwise, you hated with every fibre of your being. The woman. The dreaded woman that would one day be the mother of Neteyam’s children, the woman he’d wake up next to every day of his life, the woman he’d touch, and hold, and fuck. The woman he’d love. The woman that wasn’t you. 

“Oh, Great Mother! Oh, Eywa!” Her steps were wide and rushed, and in no time at all she made her way through the crowd and stopped just in front of Neteyam’s body, and carefully traced her long, slender fingers on his body. She looked panicked and forlorn, desperate to make sure her mate-to-be was unharmed. She gasped as her gaze landed on his many bleeding scratch wounds, and took him by the hand as she pulled on his arm, willing him to go with her.

“Yawne, come on. I will prepare healing salves for you in my tent. Let’s go.” 

You tried to swallow the bitterness that gathered in your mouth to no avail, as the lump that seemed like it had settled in your throat, never to leave you again, prevented it. You felt the familiar sting of tears gathering in your eyes and demanding to be released down your face, and knew you had to pull it together. This wasn’t the time. This wasn’t the time to think of how you’ve always been the one to heal Neteyam, it was always your hands trailing over his wounds, it was your hands that sutured his bleeding gashes, the one that made sure he wouldn’t ever scar, because the thought of anything marring his beautiful skin hurt you. 

“Uhm, we’re here, too, you know?” Lo’ak send a small snarky look in the girl’s direction, and Neytiri hissed at her son, threatening him to keep quiet. The girl didn’t acknowledge his words, opting to continue pulling Neteyam away forcefully. Lo’ak didn’t like her. You didn’t know why. Unlike you, he didn’t have an obvious reason. Maybe it’s how she acted like the rest of his family didn’t really exist, like they were somehow below her. Well, not the entire family. She liked Neytiri and Mo’at, and she liked Tuk. It was just Lo’ak and Kiri that she seemed to ignore. 

Your eyes remained fixed on Neteyam’s body, that was slowly getting farther away from you and closer to another woman’s tent, and you couldn’t help think how this was a fitting metaphor for your relationship and your future. He peered behind him and immediately found your face, and the look he gave you will haunt you forever. A look that told you that he loved you, that he was sorry, but he had no choice. A look that said “I wish things could be different, but they’re not”. A look that crushed your spirit and told you everything you never wanted to hear and nothing that could heal the pain currently poisoning your heart. 

Spider placed a hand on the small of your back, and with one last look at your best friend, the man you loved, you turned your back to him, to her, and to the love you felt in every cell in your body and focused on the people who needed you. You motioned for Spider and Lo’ak to follow you to the labs.

“Come. I’ll patch you up.” 

It was late at night when you finished everything you had planned on doing, and you dragged your feet tiredly to your room, eager to be alone, eager to be able to drop the facade you have had to maintain for the entire day and just release the anguish in your soul with a good crying session and some comfort show you have seen one too many times. You got into the shower and put the temperature as close to boiling as you possibly could, feeling the incessant need to burn a couple layers of skin, to remove the traces of Neteyam that will always be tattooed on you, the feeling of his lips on your body, that you could feel like he was here right now, the pressure of his hands as they tugged at your hips, as they wrapped around your throat, as they caressed your cheeks and pushed the hair out of your face. The tears that fell down your cheeks were removed as soon as they dropped, leaving only the memory of them, the images of what triggered them, of the anguished thoughts and deep pain that sank its teeth into you like a wild animal, tugging at and tearing apart everything they touched. 

As you got out of the shower, you heard the unmistakable sound of the door sliding open, and of something falling on the floor with a loud clank, and you knew exactly who it was. Your entire body was red and puffed from the shower, including your face, on which it was obvious that you have cried for the past 30 minutes. Fuck. 

With a loud sigh, that you hoped would lower your rapid heartbeat and shallow breaths, you opened the door and came face to face with Neteyam, who was knelt on the ground, trying to pick up what he dropped on the floor. 

“Sorry.” He says meekly. “I wish I could control my tail better, but it’s always an accident waiting to happen in these tight rooms.” 

You gave him a small smile that was not reflected in your eyes, and moved past him to sit on your bed. You fixed your eyes on the ground, noting how awkward and tense the atmosphere around you was. It’s never been like this. Ever. You and Neteyam have always been comfortable around each other. Always. No matter what ever happened in your lives or around you, no matter what depths your friendship reached, no matter how many boundaries you erased or walked past, it’s always felt natural. This didn’t. 

“Why are you here, Neteyam?” 

“What do you mean why I am here? I can’t be here?” 

You scoffed. 

“You can, you just never are anymore.” 

“Vol… come on. You know it’s different now than it was in the village, in Hell’s gate. We’re going to get caught.”

“Yeah, well, we wouldn’t want to get caught. God forbid anybody knows you fuck me in your free time.” 

“Vol…”

You knew you were being unfair. You knew it deep in your soul that he didn’t deserve any of this. You both agreed to this. You agreed to this a long time ago, and, if you were being honest with yourself, it was you that initiated it. 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

The first time you and Neteyam had sex, you were both drunk. It was your 18th birthday party, and Norm and Max organised a bash that would have apparently made even Earth bashes seem tame. There was food and music and dancing, and yelling and laughter and a lot… a lot of drinks. 

So many drinks, in fact, that in the early hours in the morning, you and Neteyam stumbled back to your room, barely being able to make out the shape of the bed before crashing unceremoniously on it, giggling like a school girl when you did and the world refused to settle around you like you did in it. 

“You’re so drunk.” Neteyam said, hiccuping slightly.

“No, you’re drunk. I’m fine.” 

It was a nice change of pace, seeing Neteyam so free, so uninhibited, so… happy. His life was always busy, always messy, always difficult, having to parent 3 kids he didn’t bring into this world, picking up their slack, making sure they were safe and free, while he lived shackled to his family and his clan’s expectations, to the promise of being chieftain one day and all the sacrifices that came along with it. 

“At least I can sit up.”

“Well, you’re about twice larger than me, so you know…” you were wiggling your fingers in the air, trying to make a point, although the point got lost in the abyss, much like the rest of your mind.

“Yes?” 

“Fuck knows, lost my train of thought.” 

“Goddamn, ma Vol, you are really drunk.” 

He came and lay in your bed next to you and you immediately fastened your limbs around his torso, like he was the flame and your soul was the moth that couldn't stay away. 

“So what? It’s my birthday. I’m an adult now! If I can’t get drunk on my birthday, when can I?” 

“I guess that’s fair.”

“Do you ever think about having sex?” 

Whatever thoughts Neteyam might have had evaporated quicker than water droplets in a fire, and he found himself speechless, not a totally uncommon occurrence in your presence.

“Cause I do. I think about it all the time. I mean, we watch so many movies, and series, and all humans seem to do is have sex. I heard Norm getting it on with one of the Omatikaya chicks in the village for a while now, and, all I can think of is when the hell is it going to be my turn? My turn to know what it feels like, to get to see what the big deal is, you know?”

“I know you think about it. I know you think about it with me. I can feel it, I can feel you, whenever we fall asleep together. I know you want me, Teyam. I mean, we’ve come this far, right? Might as well go all the way.” 

“I hope you want me. Because I want you. You’re my best friend, you know everything about me. I want it to be you.”

Neteyam was doing everything in his power to ignore his increasingly harder-to-ignore erection and the way he was twitching at every word that came out of your mouth. Of course he wanted you. You were hot, and you were his. His best friend, the person he’s shared so many intimate moments with, the person that taught him everything he knew about girls, about pleasure, about so many things. But this might be a step too far, a step you could never take back. Neteyam always hoped that one day, by some miracle of the universe, you would get an Avatar, and you would get a chance to be one of the people. There’s nothing he wanted more in this world then to get to keep you forever. But, as the years went past, the possibility of that seemed less and less probable, and Neteyam knew he would have to find a mate one day, and he would have to love her and keep her, forever. He would sleep with her, and mate with her, and she would have his kids, and doing these things with you… he didn’t know how he was supposed to move on with his life like your presence didn’t permeate through every fibre of his being. 

“I do want you, Vol. But I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.” 

“It’s a great idea, Teyam. Think about it.” You chuckled to yourself, eyes shut tightly and fingers rubbing your temples, as if trying to summon the words into your brain.

“What was I saying?”

He laughed at your disorientated predisposition, realising he wasn’t in a much better condition. 

“I forgot.” You kicked your feet up in the air as you remembered. 

“Oh, yeah!! It’s a g-great idea. Because we’ve made out before, right? Multiple times. Because we’ve s-slept in the same bed before, so we know that works. Because we know each other, and we won’t tell anyone else, right? It can just be our little secret, and we have p-plenty of those anyway. Because, because… Because this way, whenever you'll get yourself a mate, you know that you will know what to do and won’t fumble around. I’m doing you a favour, if you think about it. It’s the perfect plan honestly. Foolproof.”

It was hard for Neteyam to argue with your logic, but that may be because the part of his brain that processed logic was dead now. 

The first time you and Neteyam had sex, it was awkward and painful. Turns out there is a lot more fumbling and a lot more preparation and a lot more pain involved than what it is ever portrayed on the screen, and even more so since the man you were sleeping with was twice your size, and those proportions extended to… well, everything. It took a lot of lube and a lot of patience, but you knew you would have wanted no one else to have this experience with. There was no one else in the world that could have made this what it was, something that you would cherish for the rest of your life. He was kind and considerate, and he brushed the tears from your face with his thumbs when the initial pain got too much to bear, and he waited for you to adjust to his impressive length, that felt like it would tear you apart at the seams at times, and he kissed your forehead and whispered about how well you were doing, and how good you felt, and how there was no one else he would rather be doing this with, no one else in the world, not for the rest of time.

The first time promptly led to the second time, and although it took time for you to learn each other’s bodies, in a couple months, the pleasure you felt when he touched you was indescribable, the thrill you got whenever you saw him become putty under your touch boldened you, empowered you, made you want to do this every day, all day, for as long as you lived. In time, you learnt that you liked when he praised you and he loved the sounds he could coax out of you - the louder you were, the harder he got. You both enjoyed being in control once in a while, him most of the time, you - on special occasions. The dance you partook in was intricate and complicated, it was heaven and hell, it was pleasure and pain, it was everything you shouldn’t have and everything you couldn’t keep yourself from. 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

As you looked at the man sitting on the ground across from you, eyes so cried out and tired they were seeing red, you knew you had no right to spit such words in his face, but the hurt and heartache, the anger at the unfairness of it all, it was clouding your judgement, making you want to hurt him like his present and upcoming absence from your life was hurting you.

“I know you’re upset about today. I’m sorry.” He looked pained, and he refused to look at you. He looked… spent. Exhausted and sad. Way sadder than you imagined he would be, if this was just about today. Something wasn’t right.

“Why would I be upset about today? You did what you had to do. I mean, she’s going to be your mate soon, right? It’s her hands that should be healing you anyway, not mine.” You eyed the wounds on his body that were now clean, but still red, and still mostly open. “Those are going to scar, by the way.” 

He stood up suddenly. A step is all it took to reach you and his hand on your chest shot bouts of electricity all throughout your body, that you struggled to ignore. It took very little effort for him to push you back onto the bed until the warmth and softness of your blanket touched the skin that wasn’t wrapped in a towel. He followed suit, his body hovering on top of yours, and you felt his braids tickling your face and neck as his eyes bore intensely into yours. 

“Stop. I know you are upset. I wish it could have been you. You know me, Vol. You know I wish it could have been you.” 

You shook your head slightly, dreading how the tears were falling down the sides of your face and nestling in your ears. You didn’t know. Not anymore. 

“You should go, Neteyam. This isn’t right. You’re engaged to someone else. I watched her today, watched how worried she was about you, how desperate to help you, to take you away so it’s just the two of you. You’re going to mate with this girl any day now. There’s no room for me in your life anymore. Not like this, anyway.”

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

The first time you and Neteyam made love came after you were both spent from taking orgasm after orgasm out of each other. You were laying on his chest, tracing each twinkling freckle on it with your index finger, making patterns, making galaxies out of the stars proudly adorning his skin, the most beautiful stars to ever exist, to you. 

Almost as if thinking out loud, you spoke quietly, barely above a whisper.

“You are so beautiful. It hurts me sometimes, the gaping differences between us. How dull and boring I am compared to you. How daft my skin, compared to your shiny, glowy one. How sullen my eyes look when I see them in the reflection of your bright ones, sparkling like the sun. I would give anything to look like you. Anything to be like you.” Sighing, dropping hot wet tears on his chest, you continued. “Everything would be so much easier if I looked like you.” 

Almost uncharacteristically, Neteyam’s hand cupped your cheek gently and tugged slightly until your eyes met.

“Stop. Please. You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. You always have been. Your eyes are like the planets my satellites orbit around. I see them everywhere I go, every moment of my day, every dream I dream at night, there’s nothing else besides your eyes, besides your face, and your lips. Besides the words that come out of them, that somehow guide my every thought, focus my world and let me go on. You are more than beautiful, more than any word invented in any language that we speak. You are everything, ok? Everything.” 

That did nothing to stop your tears, that fell even harder down your cheeks, forming a puddle on his chest. 

“You can’t say these things, Neteyam.”

“Why not?” 

“You know why not.”

“You can’t make me fall in love with you. And you can’t fall in love with me. What we’re doing is already complicated. Already beyond what either of us could explain to anyone we love. And that’s ok, because what we have works. But it won’t work if the feelings run deeper than what depth we’re comfortable swimming in. You’re going to leave me one day, and if you leave me and I’m in love with you, it will break me. So you can’t say things like that to me.”

He had a playful smile on his face, but his eyes were forceful and full of intensity as he got on top of you and looked down into yours. 

“I’m not going to fall in love with you, and you’re not going to fall in love with me. We got this, Vol. But I will never leave you. I could never leave you. You’re my best friend. You’re everything to me.” 

You let out a soft sob that was silenced by his lips pressing on yours and the sound was replaced by pleasured moans and whimpered sounds, of silent confessions that marked the end of comfort and the beginning of the end. 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Back when we were still changing for the better

Wanting was enough, for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all

Cancel plans just in case you'd call and say, "Meet me behind the mall"

He sighed as he got off from on top of you, his own tears falling on your face as he did so. He didn’t look at you as he spoke. 

“The engagement is broken.” 

The relief that flooded your mind didn’t have time to wash over you before he continued.

“Because I’m leaving. I’m leaving the Omatikaya, and so is my family.” 

You and Neteyam shared many firsts. Your first heartbreak, the one that would break your spirit and your soul and your bones and ground them into a fine dust to be blown away by the wind, would just be one of many others. 

So much for summer love and saying "us"

'Cause you weren't mine to lose

Taglist: @liluvtojineteyam @pinkpantheris @netemoon @fanboyluvr

[radioisntdead]

Hello hello for the third time!!

Once again, your fics absolutely BLOW my mind away!! And I'm here to request just a silly fic with Angel Dust (platonic) and a feral!child reader, who always gets into trouble with his workplace and the hotel?

(I mostly just wanna read Valentino be shit on lmao)

Yours Truly,

- XIN 💠

(P.S, I RLLY WANNA BECOKE UR FRIEND OMG)

Good evening my dear! You requested this at the perfect time because I had to stop the feral child I am related to from running over the elderly with a grocery cart so that's definitely going to play into this not the hitting the elderly with a cart but the general vibe, ALSO THATS SO SWEET OF YOU TO SAY, I'M OPEN TO FRIENDSHIP JUST MESSAGE ME ON HERE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I MESSAGE YOU FIRST IT'LL BE FROM THIS BLOG OR MY MAIN ONE (I've been on Tumblr for like 5-6 years now and I still don't know how it works) YOU WILL GET ME YAPPIN' ABOUT HAZBIN, SENDING RANDOM SNIPPETS OF MY WRITING WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT AND MILDLY ODD EDITS OF SOUP

@fuck-this-shit-xin

Favorite babysitter

(Or alternatively Valentino gets beat by a child)

Angel dust & child reader, platonic!!!

Warnings:

I got carried away, Valentino loses a wing and both Antennas, nothing graphic surprisingly no unholy jokes mainly because the reader is a child, this is a shorter one, mild OOC

Angel dust didn't mind children, he preferred not to be around them because well, he wasn't the most child-friendly person to be around

However it was just his luck that the hazbin hotel's resident feral child had decided he was their favorite babysitter.

You had shown up one day at the doorstep of the hotel with a note taped onto you just saying 'Good luck '

It was suspected you were some type of bomb at first but that quickly was pushed aside when it was found you were just feral, you weren't a bad kid you just didn't listen, climbed onto the walls, tabletops, bit into things you weren't supposed too but you could be a very sweet kid, playing with the Egg Bois, helping Charlie by drawing, helping Husk dry the glasses or hunting down roaches with Niffty,

That last activity had been banned since you almost stabbed one of the Egg Bois.

You were a very sneaky and little clingy thing that was evident with you latching onto his legs at random times, sometimes he wouldn't even notice you until it was pointed out or he looked down and bam! There you were wrapped around him like a baby possum sippin' on a juice box.

He made it a point to make sure someone was distracting you as he escaped the hotel to go to work, unfortunately for him Sir Pentious who was meant to be watching you was distracted by his egg minions almost smashing themselves while trying to recreate action movies and you ran after him following him through the city and into the Vee's tower, shockingly due to plot convenience you weren't noticed until Valentino was yelling at Angel dust for who knows what before any work could be done, he pulled out Angel's contract for whatever reason, maybe to make a point? You didn't really know but you didn't like that what looked like a giant dressed up purple grape was yelling at your favorite babysitter so with your little legs you stomped up to Valentino tugging on his wings that acted as a robe, he looked down in fury that quick turned into angry confusion

"Who the fuck brought their child to set?!"

Valentino shouted looking around as his employees looked around shaking their heads, a rush of pure panic rushed through Angel dust, when did you get here? He didn't even notice you? Wasn't Sir Pentious watching you?!

Before he could even get a word out you stomped your leg and pointed at him, eyes full of pure fury.

"Say sorry!"

"¿Qué? What did you just say?"

"Say sorry!"

Valentino leaned uncomfortably in, opening his mouth to say something but Angel had grabbed you in his many arms fully intending to take whatever hit Valentino could throw at you, however you had a different plan, with a large frown on your face you wiggled your way out of Angels arms and pounced onto Valentino, your little clawed hands tearing into his wings, leaving small puncture wounds behind as you climbed up him, the contract that bounded Angel dust's soul to Valentino floated down to the ground.

Valentino yelled out words you couldn't quite understand as his wings flared out, you took the opportunity to steal his hat and bite into it tearing it apart before throwing the remaining fabric onto the ground.

The unholy studio's employees could only watch stunned as you grabbed onto his antennas completely ripping them off, if he couldn't fly because of his damaged one before, he definitely had no hope of it now.

Valentino dropped to the ground screeching, arms reaching up to throw you off only for you to start crawling around his back like a little bug leaving more scratches and wounds

Angel dust once he recovered from the shock of you absolutely tearing apart Valentino tried to grab you fully intending on taking you and booking it to the hotel where you'd be safe,

Unfortunately you were freakishly strong and in angel's attempts of trying to pull you off ended up pulling one of Valentino's wings out.

"Are you going to say sorry now?"

Valentino let out a groan of disoriented pain,

That didn't sound like an 'I'm sorry' to you, so you climbed up his remaining wing and ripped a large chunk of his fluff from it, Niffty would be proud!

"¡Lo siento! ¡Lo siento, solo vete!" the still disoriented Valentino shouted from the ground,

You smiled as you stood up from the overlord and skipped towards Angel dust, your eyes caught the contract that had floated to the ground, now you didn't know what it contained because you couldn't read but you assumed it probably meant something to the purple guy and so you decided that you should rip it.

"[Name] get over here' I gotta get you outta here before-" Angel dust started as you swiped the contact off the floor and ripped it to shreds, the smoke-like chain briefly appeared around Angel dust's neck before breaking apart and whooshing away.

Angel was stunned for a moment before a large grin broke out on his face, before anyone could say anything he picked you up, raised a certain finger up and shouted that he was quitting, after all Valentino didn't have his soul anymore, and frankly the work environment would be awkward now to say the least since a child had just inflicted permeant damage to his now former boss, he could find another job.

Unfortunately someone who didn't have good morals called the security team and now Angel dust was running down the Vee's tower holding you, he would pull out the guns that he kept in I assume his ribcage or something but you were right there and the gunshots would hurt your little eardrums, eventually the two of you outran them and returned into the safety of the hotel.

Angel dust sat you down on the ground as he breathed in, catching his breath while Sir Pentious rushed to you lifting you up while asking where you were before looking at Angel in confusion.

"Aren't you ssssssupposed to be at work?"

"I quit! Lil' chronic juice-o-holic over there ripped up my contract and fucked up Valentino! hAh!" Angel said still trying to catch his breath as you slipped out of Sir Pentious's hold and ran to go bug Husk for a juice box.

The news of you ripping Valentino's antennas and a wing out made hotel news, you were lightly scolded by Charlie about taking the violent route but she gave you ice cream and bought you a toy as a reward, Alastor saw great potential in you, Husk patted your head saying that you did good, Vaggie would eventually decide to teach you how to fight, you got being feral down but it couldn't help to teach you to be more calculated, Niffty was happy when you gave her the big clump of fluff for her collection, she already had some from her earlier interaction with the now antenna-less moth but more couldn't hurt!

And Angel dust, well he owed ya big time although he did scold you for following him into a dangerous place [thank goodness you didn't see anythin' unholy or Vaggie would've had his head!]

He spent a little more time with you the following week before he decided to do some job huntin', he would sneak you some candy or a extra juicebox when he could, and the two of you would watch kid friendly Disney or dreamworks movies on the hotel's TV.

Valentino laid down in his hospital room, full of fury that he got injured by a child of all things, a small child that had some type of connection with Angel dust who's soul he no longer owned, he swore that he would get payback against the child, unfortunately for him the mere presence of that child would strike enough fear into him that he wouldn't be able to make a move, and even if he could he wouldn't be able to do anything to the feral child.

He got off easy this time, he wouldn't be as lucky the next he messed with your favorite babysitter again.

Good evening folks! Hope you enjoyed! I'm working on getting the older requests in my inbox done and getting them out next week along with the 100 followers fic with Angel dust! So tune on in for that! Goodnight folks!

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #18

Operation: Birthday Takeback

Dev's birthday!! Look at him. For some reason, the fact that his drones are here in 2D is funny to me... He's a little cartoon guy. Hazel is very cute.

I have a note here that says Dev's birthday is separated from Founder's Day by 9 years, 7 months, 14 days. So, he's had Peri for 4.5 months?

-> That is not too shabby in a universe where it's rare [in the OG series] to keep godkids for a year. Nice job, Dev!

...... Do you think they'll bring back rule-free fairyversary muffins (There WAS a full movie about it), because I have a pretty good idea what he'd wish for. Smells like trouble...

Okay, let's go! ... Peri does not think his parents are cool. And Dev is SHOCKED they came over. Also, he has no idea what to do with this much attention. He's SO red.

Hm. Peri looks really unimpressed... Did he already give Dev every birthday wish he wants and now it'll be awkward when Hazel gives a gift, because what can she possibly give that Peri didn't?

-> Dev still seems delighted Hazel's here! I think her friendship is the best gift :)

-> I do not think Peri knows enough about Dev's interests to surprise him, especially since they weren't getting along in the Dimmsonian episode because Dev was frustrated Peri couldn't "make a better cupcake" and Peri was frustrated Dev couldn't figure out what flavor he wanted.

-> Peri gives me "by the book" learning vibes; he's frustrated Dev doesn't listen to him and is harder to work with than the theoretical child he had in mind, I think.

-> Okay yeah, Peri is having NONE of this. Okay, Mr. Jealous Clingy Boyfriend Vibes...

Aw, Cosmo is trying to cheer Dev up... Peri, you wanna... jump in, or...? No?

Also, I'm enjoying watching what at this moment in time seems to be a healthy friendship and/or romance develop. I'm all for tormenting children, but this is nice too.

Peri...

Also, Dev thinks Hazel is like, the coolest person ever. And Peri is SO jealous Dev would rather hang out with his human friend than with a magical fairy. That's hysterical.

Something something, Juandissimo spent 3 seasons getting fired and bounced around Fairy World because he couldn't stop crying over how much he loved and missed Remy and finally broke Da Rules to return his memories, something something, Peri came here for a good time and he is honestly feeling so attacked right now.

I don't know what I'm trying to say, but... u get it. Two spoiled bullies, two very different dynamics. It's not the kid; it's the willingness of the fairy to meet them where they are... and love unconditionally.

Local celebrity kid who spent his Spellementary School life getting fawned over never developed the social skills to make friends and doesn't know how to deal with people viewing him as a flawed three-dimensional person.

For some reason I'm getting flashbacks to the end of "School of Crock" when Poof referred to his classmates as "his friends and Foop."

Okay, I thought Dev would freak out (/negative) over seeing boots since his dad literally unveiled a statue of him kissing his beloved boots while disregarding his son, but... he likes them! Despite that emotional blow, he is a Dimmadome to his core.

-> Dev getting his very first pair of little cowboy boots with tiny spurs 'fic, please.

-> Toddler Dev trying on his dad's or grandpa's boots 'fic, please.

Dev: Why didn't YOU think of getting me [rocket boots], pickle-brain Peri? Peri: Because my job is to grant you wishes! Not to read your mind!

Yikes... It's been a long few months for them.

Also, Cosmo and Wanda choose this moment not to overstep on the parenting relationship here and that's fantastic. Sorry, Peri- You're on your own for this one.

-> Wanda's totally willing to get Peri out of here if he needs it. So... she probably did notice Dev being snippy with him, but actively chose not to step in since Peri told her not to overstep in "Lost in Fairy World." Interesting.

Hm. I wonder if Peri has an animal form? I imagine he takes the form of tech or something that wouldn't catch Dale's eye. He probably sleeps in Dev's bedroom though (and/or "Hassle in the Castle"-esque pocket space).

-> Peri in his debut: /confidence oozing from every pore

-> Peri 4.5 months later: my crops are dying. I'm crops.

I love this family.

Though I feel like... it puts a weird level of stress or professionalism on Peri and Dev. I don't really have the words for it, but something something, maybe Peri's first assignment shouldn't have been so close to his parents because they are clearly struggling to let him speak or handle things himself. It's nice he can ask advice, but I feel like if they're around too often and Peri defers to them, that blurs lines and will be really confusing for Dev.

Who do you listen to if your fairy is telling you "Yes" and his parents - who have no technical authority over you but have ambiguous semi-authority in your fairy's mind - are telling you "No?" That's workplace tension waiting to happen.

And Peri is clearly trying to set his workplace boundaries - we saw that in "Lost in Fairy World" especially - but Cosmo and Wanda keep kinda undermining him and bringing family vibes into work, and he's also grown now, so... Yikes. I love them, but that's rough, buddy.

Forget that- Is that Vicky?

?? Vicky is still young? Or is this Vicky's daughter? MARK, what did you do? I know you literally have clones of her, sir.

I mean, I guess it's not out of the question she'd look the same years later- she had the same hair when she was 5 back in "The Switch Glitch" and she clearly likes that style, but I wasn't expecting it, especially since she's probably close to Dale's age and he's clearly beefed up (and I think gotten taller). Huh. Well, all righty.

The golden cowboy boots on display with the "In honor" plaque are not doing anything to disprove my tentative theory that Doug Dimmadome has passed on and that's why Dale is so clingy towards his boots.

Pfft, the "Icky Vicky" song is still a thing.

SLKJDF, I'm amazed they carried through with Vicky being the one to put Dale to work at the lemonade stand. I'm still confused as to whether she started it at age 9 or took over from someone else.

DEV DOESN'T KNOW HER???

Dale, you are a terrible dad. How can he be so bitter about his past and tell his son horror stories about Vicky, and/or not keep constant watch for her? I can't believe he hasn't sued her into oblivion.

-> It's because he doesn't tell Dev stories unless it's to gripe about how he needs to pull his weight because "My life was so hard when I was your age," isn't it?

I like how Dev is trying to lightly call to Peri for help without attracting attention or moving his lips. Geez, man- That's gotta be so stressful when you're trying to rely on someone new to help you and they don't show up. He didn't have him in the Hocus Poconos and he can't get him out here when he needs him. This is gonna be great on his trust issues, I'm sure.

Peri looking at his dad vs. Wanda looking at her sexy husband:

Dev will hang with his friends, but he's not putting down his stuff.

This next face he makes (without words) to signal "Hey, I'm doing my best" is so funny to me. He's like. "Yeah, I don't have to say anything; she knows what's going on here."

... I'm confused. What is up with Wanda and Cosmo right now? Why are they leaving notes to Dale that out Hazel as a godkid and them as fairies (who are disguised as humans)?

I get that they're not thinking ahead and are spelling out notes while they talk to each other, but surely they should know better than to leave evidence, especially after they saw Cookie get 10k years in prison for revealing the existence of Fairies and we know Hazel could be separated from them. Peri clearly knows this is a bad idea. Utterly incomprehensible to me.

"Icky Vicky" remix!!! Also, Dev handles rocket boots way better than Kevin Crocker did.

Dev "It's not a children's party; I'm a BIG KID!" Dimmadome - Dude, you just turned 10. I mean... That is double digits and you're just a little guy, so... good job.

I'm so glad I was right and that Dev isn't allowed to drink lemonade. That's hilarious. I'm obsessed. He wants it so much...

A.J., Poof, and Crocker sure changed a lot considering Vicky looks the same.

I love Dev covering Hazel's eyes so she doesn't see the partially naked money-covered mural of his dad.

The fact that this is even in the show is hilarious; it says so much to me. Dale "Obsessed with flaunting where I am now in life" & Dev "Instantly doing damage control so my BFF doesn't feel uncomfy or think I'm weird and ditch me" Dimmadome.

....... I said BFF, but I'm pretty sure Dev said Trev was his BFF in Episode 1 and now I'm wondering why we haven't seen them together at all. Hm. I'm gonna have to circle back to Episode 1 later; I might be misremembering.

Their names are Dev and Trev... Where is this silly duo? We're bein' ROBBED!

Peri's grown out of calling Wanda "Mama"- just "Mom." Good note for me in case I want to write something in line with New Wish's canon specifically, since I've always used "Mama" in 'fics even when he's older.

Peri watching his parents make innuendo jokes:

Oh, INSTANT panic on their end at the news of Vicky in the house. More so than with Crocker!

50 years of deep-seeded trauma... This would be a fantastic title card or redraw. Maybe I'll draw it someday.

Cannot believe Peri has been whiplashed back and forth by being snarked at, coddled, reminded of his Hocus Poconos trauma, and now he's facing Vicky trauma all within a couple episodes. It's been a long 4 months.

Peri @ Vicky: "She's REAL!? I thought I imagined her as a baby!!!" is he ok.

-> This is very funny to me because it plays into my headcanon of Poof growing up to forget most of his time with Timmy, including his name, and beating himself up about it.

I don't think Peri has gone one episode without going full panic mode over something. This kid's not lasting long as a godparent. Dev's gonna crack him like a nut and then Jorgen's going to wipe the floor with him.

omg, Dev needs his godparent to stand up for him against Vicky and Peri's having a MELTDOWN and hiding behind his mom. Um???

Holy cow, I've never seen him break like this, except maybe when he gained his fear of the dark in "Lights Out." That includes his many brushes with death and when Fairy Court unraveled his existence from the timeline.

-> I cannot believe I made a joke about how I wasn't sure how things could get more traumatizing for Peri than having to face the Hocus Poconos and yet here we are. Yeah, he's gonna put in his two weeks' notice like... tomorrow.

He ditched his godkid! Peri!!! You are a grown-up now! You can't do that!!

Okay, so Vicky is as tall as Cosmo and Wanda, so she can be an adult, sure. Also, Cosmo and Wanda finally getting the chance to stand up to her <3 I don't remember her tormenting them that much but maybe it's secondhand spooks.

-> Peri's meltdown continues in the background. That is some DEEP trauma.

Even if this was a non-Vicky person, would Peri be mentally equipped to deal with it? Because he's reacting badly for a guy whose memories are so wobbly, he can't remember if they were real. He's not there for Dev and he clearly has some issues to work out.

-> I think he needs more godparent training; he is NOT ready.

(Full moon!)

Ooh, Dev feels like his dad replaced him with Hazel... Dev out here like "Wait a sec, the reason my dad's not been around in 4.5 months is because apparently he's obsessed with you?" Oh boy... Those three expressions just tell it all (The horrified realization, the despair, the anger...)

omfg, Dev just found out Hazel "wished to become friends with him" ("I wish I knew why he acted so mean") and he feels like he's not good enough to be liked without a wish and everything was a lie, and he is CRASHING and screaming. Oh, geez louise. Terrible job, everyone!!! Everybody loses!!

I really like this night city skyline. It's so pretty. I love this decompression scene. Really good storytelling move and also nice to look at. I want to write with these vibes.

Man, Hazel's comforting herself and turning to Cosmo and Wanda for support (and making plans of how to make her evening better after getting yelled at).

I bet I know who's NOT about to turn to his fairy for support~

Dev: And where tf were you!?!?

"I was calling for you; why didn't you answer me? Why is no one ever there? Why does everyone else 'matter more' than me, even the people who are supposed to look out for me?"

Peri: D':

-> I like how the poof clouds still have words in them. Also, the scribbling scene is really well-done; Dev is losing his marbles.

Oh man... Thaaat's a big mess. Welcome home, child trauma show <3

Also, fanfic timeline notes under the cut:

[Contains a small timeline spoiler for Along the Cherry Lane, which is a 'fic I won't be starting for a long time. This is already in my Timmy's Timeline notes from the sideblog, though, so if you've already seen it, it's nothing new]

Wanda said it's been a "couple decades" since her encounters with Vicky. So... is Vicky like, 36?

I could've sworn Vicky and Dale were close to the same age; he has a teen body design in "Nectar of the Odds."

His age might've been adjusted though, or at least he may have started at a very young age. He told Dev in "Stanky Danky" that "when he was his age, he was working in a factory making lemonade every Saturday" and missed all the Saturday cartoons. This is Dev's 10th birthday, so maybe the thought here is "Dale started at age 9 or 10, then stopped at age 16 or 17."

If that's true, then yes, he's Vicky's age.

So. In that case, that screenshot of distraught Dev I put up in my "Battle of the Dimmsonian" post and captioned as "This is probably how Dale used to look at Vicky and then she kicked him down the stairs" is probably age-accurate too, and that's even worse.

Let's say it's been 2 decades and Dale was 16 then, now 36. That would mean he had Dev... Let's say around age 26 or 27.

-> That would jump us from 2002 [in my 'fics] to Dev being born around 2012, with New Wish taking place more or less around 2022. I think I'm okay with that- We saw in "Fearless" that the Enrichment Academy's most recent champion win was 2019 and they win every few years, so that makes perfect sense.

I think my 'fic Along the Cherry Lane ends with Tammy and Tommy close to age 10 in 2020? Let me see...

Riddle's Cloudlands AU notes: - Timmy parts ways with Cosmo and Wanda on October 15th, 2010 - Chloe parts ways with Cosmo and Wanda the night of March 20th, 2011. - Tammy is born September 2013 & Tommy February 2016 - Tammy and Tommy receive Cosmo and Wanda as godparents in 2023 (He's 8 or 9, she's 10 or 11)

Hmm... That's riding really close to Hazel's timeline. New Wish will probably be over by the time I'm done with my current longfics and ready for Along the Cherry Lane, so I won't worry about it for now, but it'll be nice to have these notes later in case I do want to try fitting this into my canon. We'll see if we get any hints about Tammy or Tommy in future episodes. I'd love to see Hazel meet Timmy with his kids, though I doubt we'll see that.

-> I also would not be opposed to kicking "Channel Chasers" out of New Wish's canon because it's not an episode I have attachment to and, well... we don't have flying cars or robot babysitters yet.

... If I were to keep everything, I feel like I'd rather take New Wish as canon and then put "Channel Chasers" after it (even if that violates the "20 years later" label) than commit to "Channel Chasers" and kick Hazel away. I was dreading worldbuilding a society that gained flying cars and robots within 20 years anyway, so I wouldn't be mad.

-> But I'll have to decide how much New Wish I want to incorporate into my canon, seeing as I usually prioritize the OG series in Cloudlands AU above spin-off media. Hmm.

Again, I won't be finishing this 'fic for a long time, so New Wish might be over by then and I'll have more information to work with.

Thanks for reading my liveblog!

[sheenashifts1217]

Pick A Pile #2

Message From Your DR S/O

This is what won the pole so here you guys go (:

Welcome to my second pick a pile! This is a collective reading, so take what resonates, leave what doesn't. For a more in depth and personalized reading, check out my pinned post <3

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Open them. Which photo are you most drawn to?

Pile 1 (butterfly drink)

Lyrics standing out:

"dark room

time moved too fast (I can see you coming home or back to a hotel room after a late night out. The wind blows the curtains as you open the door. They wrap their arms around you and kiss you as you lay back on the bed)

Your shoulders brush

You can hear it in the silence

see it with the lights out

Burnt toast, you keep his shirt

One step, said enough

You're my best friend

Spent my whole life trying to put it into words

round and round, downtown

the way home

you're in love"

Hello beautiful Pile 1! I'm picking up a more masculine energy from your S/O, but they still have a very healthy relationship with their feminine side as well. You are what they have been looking for their entire life. They see you as the "invisible string" in their life. You've always been right in each other's faces but you just now realized it. They wish they would've acted on their feelings sooner so that there was never that period of hurt or miscommunication. It feels like you were either enemies to lovers or childhood friends to lovers, or maybe even just lived in the same town but didn't really talk much. Either way, there is some kind of history there between the two of you that you're s/o is very grateful for, but they regret not acting sooner. I heard them say "We're a couple of fools, aren't we?". They're showing me the two of you playing with chalk on the side walk as children and then the two of you coming back to that same spot now that you're older. You're holding hands and wearing the bracelets you made/gave each other. Like it's really giving those Hallmark movies where one of them leaves for whatever reason and it goes south so they come home and realize they needed their person all along. It's super adorable.

Your s/o wants you to know that you are their home, their safe place, their haven. No one in the world makes them feel the way you do. Again, the only regret they have with you, is not being yours sooner. They love coming home to you and I feel like they also really like when you wear flowy dresses. You're both children at heart, so not only are they your s/o, but they're your best friend. They say to remember how special you are and "you're my butterfly". (that blew my mind since this is the butterfly drink pile). The only future they see, is one with you in it. They hate to be away from you and are telling you to hurry up because they "need cuddles". Movie nights may be a thing for you guys.

confirmation: purple, 333, butterflies, "time flies when you're having fun", "here comes the sun", school bus, clouds, jump ropes

Pile Two (Hearts)

Lyrics standing out:

"Won't you look my way

What you got to say

Everybody talks

Made my lips hurt, I could hear the chit chat

Everybody talks back

It started with a whisper

Mama's always gotta back track

Got in the way

What you gotta say"

Hello my lovely pile 2! When this sing started playing, I was immediately shown some type of dinner and lots of dancing. Your DR could possibly be set in the 50's or 60's or 80's. It could also be a fame DR and you're filming a movie set in one of those periods. Either way, you and your s/o dance a lot. They are amazed by the way your body moves and sometimes find themselves having dirty thoughts about you. This feels like more of a slow burn trope and you all may not be together yet. They are YEARNING so badly for you. They feel frustrated, "why don't you see me". They're afraid that they're in the friendzone, when in reality, you both need to use your words and tell each other the truth. You may be holding back from confessing your feelings because you fear what others or the public will say. Or you worry that they worry about what others may say. They may be a poet of some sort because they just said, "your eyes shine, lips so divine, gotta be mine". Told you they're yearning.

"Why won't you love me? Let me in", they have grown tired of the games and the cat and mouse. Your s/o is ready for you, so be ready for them. They just want you to see how beautiful you are and really believe it. They say, "You're brilliant, you're a genius baby", and the kiss you're cheek. I can see you looking back at them kind of shocked and that breaks their heart. They really just want you guys to communicate so you can be how you're meant to. They want you to know that you deserve all of your hearts desires.

confirmation: 5 Seconds of Summer, Luke Hemmings, blue, turtles, the beach, bad girl, Jojo siwa, 444, dirt, sprout, plants, spiral, mcdonald's play area

Pile 3 (the flower)

Lyrics standing out:

"You were in college working part time

Why we bother with love if it never lasts

I can see it now

You put your arm around me for the first time

There's a drawer of my things at your place

We'll never make my parents mistakes

City lights

Made a rebel of a careful man's careful daughter

You took me by surprise

I'll never leave you alone

Every time I look at you, it's like the first time

I fell in love

she is the best thing that's ever been mine

Hold on, make it last

I can see it now"

Hello my gorgeous pile 3! You and your s/o know how to have fun together, you don't mind to get your hands dirty. Some of you may have a "Twisters" DR, I keep seeing Glen Powell. Your s/o is ready to take you on an adventure, show you places and things you've never seen. You guys are attached at the hip. You're that couple that is always together and has the best humor. Your s/o likes PDA. Not so much where it makes people uncomfortable, but they like to show everyone who they belong to. They may have their hand on your thigh when you're out at dinner or their hand on your hip at the store. They are chivilrous. They like to open doors for you and get your seat or take your coat. If your s/o is male, it's giving gentleman vibes.

I kept seeing a bowling alley and a truck bed while I was listening to this song, they want to take you on a simple, fun date, just for a good time. They want you to realize that loving you is like breathing air for them. Stop being so hard on yourself. They're not going to leave you. If you're going through something, they just want to help. Let them in, that's why they're your partner. They love you for all that you are. I heard "something isn't worth having if you didn't have to work for it. I see a field of daisy's, they may call you "miss daisy". You're so is telling you to let yourself be loved, not liked. Love isn't about being likeable, it's about relationship and teamwork. You will get through this and grow stronger. We sometimes need obsticals to build our strength. Look at the problem in front of you and face it. You've got this and you are loved. Relax.

confirmation: Thanos, infinity stones, avengers, doctor strange, donuts, The Simpsons, Pepsi, Cigarettes, trailor park, South park, Eric Cartman, red, beanie, lavender plant

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari i’m curious do u have kenny hcs

RIKO U HAVE NO IDEA THE MONSTER UVE UNLEASHED.....

i do have some kenny hcs <333 take a seat here's a snack we’re gonna be here for a while 🧁🧃 (THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME <3 this man genuinely makes me feel ill im sooo delusional abt him)

okok so first of all; general hcs !!

he likes art!! loves art!! this one is canon to me i just think he is so interested in any and all of humanity’s creative outlets and ofc art is the most prominent one. he loves all different forms of art — from sculptures to paintings to writing to video games (HEAVY on the latter btw i think he's so entranced by new technology) and so on.

and on that note!! i think he paints and writes himself :3 hes been alive for so long, learned so many languages, there's no way he didn't have time to pick up a paint brush. i think he paints to release stress!! and his styles vary but there's something mildly macabre abt all of his pieces. tends to gravitate towards expressionism above all else, especially the abstract kind.

i also feel like he sincerely enjoys ”bad” art like low budget movies and modern romance fiction and goofy video games…… he just thinks they're fun. def gets a good laugh out of them (this man canonically had a whole comedy phase he just wants to have fun!!)

and and and!! this is self indulgent as hell but i also think he cooks. there's just so much to learn when it comes to different cultures and their cuisine and i think they all interest him. but i hesitate to say that he's a good cook bc i feel like he’d make really weird fucked up food combinations just for the hell of it…. he's a freak. 100% the type to mix orange juice w black coffee just to see how it tastes.

i also hc that he has a soft spot for children, seeing as he literally carried and birthed one of his own LMAO... i just think he admires the innocence of childhood !! that childish and simple hope that adults tend to lose. he's very good w them too!! gentle and patient. and in geto’s body he has the softest nicest voice so i feel like kids gravitate towards him (i'm just thinking abt that One scene where he blows bubbles at a playground and all the kids chase them… they love him i just know he's a regular at that park)

OH AND……. idk if i’d call this a hc exactly but i just wanna see kenny in more feminine clothing. he literally has All the genders i don't think for a second that he cares abt gender norms. one moment he's in that tacky middle aged divorced father core hawaiian tshirt (he's so Me), the next he's wearing a purple floral dress or a puffy turtleneck <33 i just think he could pull anything off.

NOW FOR THE GOOD STUFF……. relationship hcs <33333 hes a whole red flag but hes also my silly pookie bear just trust me on this

FIRST OF ALL he's huge on quality time. if he's in a relationship w u then that means he sincerely enjoys ur company and therefore has a tendency to just bring u with him wherever he goes. otherwise he gets bored and starts whining abt it (silly silly man) hes a lonely guy ok </3 i feel like he gets very sudden urges to explore new places / do new things and he’ll make sure you’re right there w him !! you’ll wake up in his arms only to find you're in a snowy forest or some shit and he just WILL not tell u where he's taken u bc its ”a surprise ^_^” LMAOO

he also takes on a teaching role in the relationship and i think that's where hes happiest !! gets a kick out of it but it's also kind of special to him. especially if you haven't seen much of the world, or if you're just a naturally curious person — preferably both. he just enjoys teaching you new things, leading you towards new sights, drinking in your expressions and reactions. it's precious to him. something to cherish.

ON THAT NOTE i think he has this unquenchable curiosity that gets temporarily sated when he tries to like . Dissect you. see inside your mind. it's like hes solving a puzzle that never runs out of pieces. hear me out riko but i see him as somewhat similar to makima, he's detached and has trouble connecting w people and handles you almost like a math equation….. but since he unlike makima is a human being, i think he still has the capacity to grow to care for you and treat you like an equal (or something close to an equal). he genuinely does love you, but he's rusty. kenjaku just wants to know all there is to know about you — every single thing. he’d dig into your brain if he could, but he’ll settle on just brewing you tea, listening to you speak about your fears, hoping it’ll give him the same insight.

he's a little possessive . kind of a Lot. idk i just think he feels a pang of jealousy when he sees u laugh and have fun w someone else (he's like a preschooler getting pouty bc his bestie is playing w someone else LOL) and that makes him Uncomfortable so he just waltzes in and steals u away w a smooth smile and a hand on ur waist. pretends like it doesn't bother him in the slightest but if u tease him too much he drops the smile and gives u a Look (it's scary as hell so u immediately shut up LMAOO) and god forbid someone else is like… teaching u something… a subject they're knowledgeable abt while u sit there listening happily to their rambling……..... ohhh he gets so jealous it's funny. researches that particular subject in frightening detail JUST so he can correct your little friend and teach u abt it himself <33 weirdo. freak.

also (this is extremely important to understanding kenny's character) he's both mother coded and father coded but in the worst possible ways.

he's mother coded in the sense that he's a smidge controlling, good at coaxing you into doing things outside your comfort zone, an expert at making you feel guilty by acting especially sweet and gentle, has the ability to make you cry w one disappointed look etc etc

and he's father coded in the sense that he's easily offended but pretends not to be, wants to see you succeed so bad that it's almost more for him than you, forces you to have really deep onesided philosophical talks at 2am when you just want to sleep, sucks at voicing his love for you out loud so he just buys a bag of your favorite fruit, cuts them into slices and calls it a day. etc etc. he's awful actually. i need him

but !!! as for more soft hcs i think he's honestly an affectionate guy deep down… like deep deep down but it's there. he just likes having u close. preferably touching him. not constantly bc that’ll annoy him but he wants you to stay near so he can pull u into his lap whenever. loves reading to u while u rest ur head on his thigh, playing w ur hair and lulling u softly to sleep <3333 (it's the geto kinnie in him) AND idk why this came into my mind but i think he likes nose kisses. just bc ur face scrunches up and he thinks it's cute. he can be sweet !! probably.

OHHH AND he loves playing board games w u <33 everything from chess to monopoly. he thinks it's fun + a good bonding activity but it's only fun in the beginning. he's condescending if u lose and petty if u win but he’ll still ask u to stay up w him all night just so u can finish the game (he's insufferable actually) if u decline he’ll huff and play by himself while shooting u petty glares until u feel bad and join him. then he's back to being all suave and calm and mature ohhhh i hate him

he wants to be the mature stoic indulgent person in the relationship sooooo fucking bad but he’s plagued by silly impulses day and night. he’s just good at hiding it. but deep down he is and always will be a silly nerd <33

and finally; i think that in a no curses au he's significantly less of a freak but still weird and obsessive and a lil mean. bullies u just a tinyyy bit and acts condescendingly sweet but he cares for u a whole bunch. probably struggles w showing it in a way that isn't too overbearing or mildly alarming… maybe through writing. poems and paintings of u… sculptures…. just wants to portray the beauty he sees in u (can u tell artist!kenny makes me go a little crazy)

overall hes a weirdo hes a freak (def wants u to kiss his brain just to see how it feels) and he may or may not be a bundle of red flags but i love him dearly <333 hes a silly goose. i want to study him in a lab

[moonlessmondays]

Sailing Close to the Wind|| One: Chasing Rainbows and Spinning Dreams

*takes a deep breath* *opens laptop* *blows ever so softly*

*coughs*

Hello everyone, I bet you didn't think I would ever come back to write more Downton stuff. Maybe an update from me isn't in your 2024 bingo card. Not gonna lie, I'm just as surprised as you are. I've been gone for far longer than I ever was here, but I guess, prodigal children always find their way home.

YES. This is an update. I know.

In light of the new movie announcement, I made a trip down memory lane, and was inspired by one of my old fics. Not that my writing from five years ago was ever inspiring, really. Anyway, it was supposed to be a one shot, and so I felt like I was in under no obligation to add more, but add more, I shall do.

*steadfastly ignores the 300 other cobert fanfics I am supposed to update*

To my surprise as well as yours, this one had an interesting and very polite demand for more, and honestly, if I wasn't so neck deep in law school, I would have given this a go earlier. Of course, I chose the most inopportune time -- when I'm in over my head, drowning, in bar review and prep -- to finish this piece. But whatever. It was therapeutic. I do suggest you read the prologue first, again -- here or here-- because I doubt any of you still remember this. This one's a long one that I just had to get out of my system, because studying about my country's system is the equivalent of pouring bleach all over my brain.

I would like to say as early as now however, that as I have already mentioned earlier, I am in the middle of bar prep, so the updates are probably going to be few and far in between, if at all, towards the middle of this year. Not that it's anything new where I'm concerned. But I shall endeavor to finish before the end of year or the end of the world, at least, whichever comes first.

.::.

One

Chasing rainbows and Spinning Dreams

"Can it possibly beThe future for me is you…Wait until I can tell you all my schemesChasing rainbows spinning dreamsTell me please your name”  - Tell me your name, Jose Mari Chan

The silence in the room was so loud that one could hear a pin drop – as the old adage went, anyway, – and for one brief second, Cora found herself questioning if her boss was all right in the head. Maybe she had lost her mind after all the stress and was now clinically insane. 

That, after all, was the only logical explanation to her even remotely suggesting this.

Cora looked away from her boss, wondering what she should do or say next, when her gaze met the eyes of the man on the other side of the room. Robert, that’s what Rosamund said, but Cora already knew that. There was nary a soul in this entire company who didn’t. He rarely made any appearance, but he’s never missed one company party and his name was always on everybody’s lips. 

Cora could still – though she would never say it out loud or admit it – remember the first time she had seen the esteemed Mr. Robert Crawley. It had been during her first company Christmas party. She was new, a new hire fresh from her internship, and she’d been so young and so infatuated by the piercing blue eyes that barely looked her way even once in the party. He’d been caught up, talking to the big wigs, to his sister, and their other colleagues and didn’t have time for the little Miss Americana that was Cora. Not that Cora had minded very much, she was content with sipping her wine and admiring Mr. Crawley from afar. 

He was handsome and his laugh was loud and boisterous, although hardly offensive. He spoke to Mr. Carson and his wife, Mrs. Elsie Hughes-Carson, who both worked with them at the company, like they were old friends – with respect and authority, but with clear affection. Cora could have only hoped, at that time, to be treated the same.

Now, here she was, sitting in the office of her boss, having been just told that she should marry the CEO of the company she’s working for so she can stay in London. She felt like she needed more ruminating about the “brilliant idea” of the boss in question, but she figured there wasn’t really even enough time to ruminate that. It was insane. That, in her mind, should count as a red flag right? That her boss was insane?

“Well?” Rosamund started to speak, though she looked just a little bit nervous, or anxious, or maybe it was self-realization – Cora could only hope for the last. “It’s such an unmusical way of putting things, brother.” She cleared her throat and nodded anyway. Clearly, any hopes of sanity were dashed at this point. “I was suggesting a convenient marriage with a deadline…if you’re amenable, of course.”

More here or here.

[oatmealaddiction]

It still blows my mind that people watch Steven Universe, and come away from it thinking it's a fascist narrative because it has the gall to say "bad people can change." Notice how these same people never once throw stones over at DC or Marvel who make a million movies a year with messages like "this one truly acceptable hero has the moral authority to blow up all the bad guys." Our media landscape right now is so fucking blood thirsty and full to the brim with villains who are acceptable to murder in various horrifying ways. We have a million stories where pacifists are dismissed as unrealistic and killing is automatically accepted as the correct and moral thing to do. We have over saturated the market with children's stories where pretty blue-eyed blonde boys murder hook-nosed witches or dark puppet master dictators in self defense, and one children's show says; "hey actually, I think even the very worst of people can still reduce their harm and be better if given the chance," and you guys called it fascism apologia. Steven Universe. A show that consistently presents morally grey situations and refuses to tell the audience how to feel about them. A show that has its protagonists be both truly awful to each other, while also being truly kind and loving. A show about how we cannot judge others on the surface level, where everyone is revealed to be way more complicated than what they present outwardly. A show that asks its viewers again and again, over and over, to sit with discomfort and ambiguity and to not judge everyone as either good or bad. A show that says even if you're a hero who saved the earth out of pure selfless love; that doesn't mean you're a good person. A show that says no matter how bad or awful you have been, you're never beyond changing for the better. A show that says outright, without a stutter, that no one deserves to die and everyone's life is worth saving. A show with a protagonist who literally wields a shield against colonizing invaders who call him an affront to nature. A protagonist who fights them over and over and tells them "I'm not your enemy, I'm your family."

That's the show you're going to call fascist?

[mysticstarlightduck]

Playlist Character Personality Tag!

Let's go with some of the cast from What Lurks In The Hollow for this one!!!

Rules:  You choose a character that you want to talk about, then from your playlist, or even from the songs you know, you choose a specific song that most relates to your character and explain why you think that this song reminds you of that character by analyzing the song.

WHAT LURKS IN THE HOLLOW

Zach Taylors

"Please Don't Go" - Joel Adams

Nobody ever knows Nobody ever sees I left my soul Back there now I'm too weak Most nights I pray for you to come home Praying to the Lord Praying for my soul

Now please don't go Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone Now please don't go, oh no I think of you whenever I'm alone So please don't go

[...]

'Cause I don't ever want to know Don't ever want to see things change 'Cause when I'm living on my own I'll wanna take it back and start again

Dylan Millihan

"Children's Work - Dessa"

I grew up with a book in my bed I got these dark circles before I turned ten Heard my mother with her friends worry it was something she did To get such a serious kid

But I've learned how to paint my face How to earn my keep, how to clean my kill Some nights I still can't sleep The past rolls back, I can see us still

You've learned how to hold your own How to stack your stones But the history's thick Children aren't as simple as we'd like to think

[...] Tried to tell the grown-ups About the storm clouds, the weather in my head Hadn't heard the word for melancholy yet

Amy Millihan

"Seventeen - Heathers The Musical"

Fine! We’re damaged Really damaged But that does not make us wise

We’re not special, we’re not different We don’t choose who lives or dies Let’s be normal, see bad movies Sneak a beer and watch TV

We’ll bake brownies or go bowling Don’t you want a life with me?

Can’t we be seventeen? That’s all I want to do If you could let me in I could be good with you People hurt us

Or they vanish And you’re right, that really blows But we let go Take a deep breath Then go buy some summer clothes We'll go camping

Play some poker And we’ll eat some chili fries Maybe prom night Maybe dancing Don't stop looking in my eyes

Savvanah Hahn

"Complicated - Demi Lovato"

It's time for me to take it I'm the boss right now Not gonna fake it Not when you go down 'Cause this is my game And you better come to play

I used to hold my freak back Now I'm letting go I make my own choice Bitch, I run this show So leave the lights on No, you can't make me behave

Uh, huh, huh So you say I'm complicated That I must be out my mind But you've had me underrated Rated, rated

Uh, huh, huh What's wrong with being What's wrong with being What's wrong with being confident?

Liam Steele

"Cradles - Sub Urban"

I live inside my own world of make-believe Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep

I love everything Fire's spreading all around my room My world's so bright It's hard to breathe but that's alright Hush

Shh

Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh, no no) Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee I live inside my own world of make-believe Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days Sometimes I can't tell if my body belongs to me

Tasha Strikehart

"brutal - Olivia Rodrigo"

And I'm so sick of 17 Where's my fucking teenage dream? If someone tells me one more time "Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry And I don't stick up for myself I'm anxious and nothing can help And I wish I'd done this before And I wish people liked me more

All I did was try my best This the kind of thanks I get? Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah) They say these are the golden years But I wish I could disappear Ego crush is so severe God, it's brutal out here

I feel like no one wants me And I hate the way I'm perceived I only have two real friends And lately, I'm a nervous wreck 'Cause I love people I don't like And I hate every song I write And I'm not cool and I'm not smart And I can't even parallel park

My Taglist (-/+): @ray-writes-n-shit, @sarandipitywrites, @lassiesandiego, @smol-feralgremlin, @kaylinalexanderbooks,

@diabolical-blue @oh-no-another-idea

@cakeinthevoid, @clairelsonao3,

@thepeculiarbird

@the-golden-comet, @urnumber1star, @ominous-feychild, @anyablackwood, @amaiguri,

@lyutenw @finickyfelix

@thecomfywriter, @the-letterbox-archives, @differentnighttale @wyked-ao3

@thelovelymachinery @an-indecisive-nerd

@zinabug-writes @dahliaontherun

Let me know if you'd like to be added!

[peachymilkandcream]

Hi, I really liked the trapped au can you do a part 2 please :)

Levi x Evelyn AU -> Trapped Part 2

(A/N: I'm so glad you guys liked the little AU oneshot I came up with! Watching Christmas movies while writing this might be a bit too cheerful but here we are XD This will probably be a tad short but here's part 2!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon/dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm sysndrome, violence, mind breaking, heavy on the misogyny, etc.

===========================================

Marriage to this man was hell and that was putting it mildly, Levi was a cruel man who only cared about his own whims and desires. Anything and everything that crossed his path were little more than possessions, to bend to his will or break. This was all that she was, an object of his obsession, love and affection were words outside of his vocabulary, replaced by lust and aggression.

Evelyn quickly learned that Levi really meant it when he said women were meant to be seen and not heard. The first time she had done so by asking him if he minded if she went to bed was met with a belt beating. Her back still had the stinging welts from the many blows he covered her pale skin with. He had told her that she wouldn't dare disturb him again if he taught her a proper lesson.

She also came to learn that intimacy was not to be denied for any reason. Even though the one time she had a high fever he had dominated her, saying it was her own fault for getting sick. Denials of his affection were met with missing her next meal and a beating. Levi was not meant to be questioned or denied anything, what he wanted he got. Even periods were vile and disgusting, a personal insult since he hadn't gotten her pregnant. Each one caused cruelty and anger, he became irritable and even more entitled.

Evelyn confessed all this and more to her mother, taking silent notice of her brand new dress and jewelry, Levi had kept his promise of taking good care of her, she had more money than she knew what to do with.

"You shut your whining mouth Evelyn." She replied to her daughters worries. "If Levi found out you were complaining about your marriage he could find some reason to divorce you and then we would be disgraced and destitute!"

"But what about the beatings- the-"

"All part of marriage." She interjected. "Your place is to satisfy him and give him children, that's all you're good for. If he beats you then you're not being a good enough wife for him, that's your fault."

Talking to someone else was useless, her mother had all but threatened her blatantly to tell Levi. That was a death sentence, he might get so upset she ended up dead and buried in the basement. She had to bury things down, always bury things down.

Everyone commented how lucky she was, a fine match, a fine man. Girls her age eyed with her envy as they saw her on his arm, wishing it was them. She wished it was them instead, those girls being the one wearing layers of makeup to hide unseemly bruises, those girls being the ones who walked around dripping of him. What a perfect life she had.

==========================================

It wasn't so bad, her whole life reduced to watching his children and seeing to his needs. Evelyn watched as her two sons played in the yard, barely five years old and they looked so much like their father. Beautiful boys with jet black hair and the same grey eyes, aggressive and demanding, wanting their mother's attention but knowing father came first. They were just like him.

She rubbed her pregnant stomach lovingly, she had a feeling this one would be a girl. The thought made a small smile come to her face, Levi wouldn't be like most other fathers, this she knew, their daughter wouldn't be a bargaining chip for more, he would mold her into everything Evelyn was not, strong. All of them would be in awe of their father and be an extra set of eyes against their mother, seeing if she ever betrayed his trust.

Her mind came out of it's daydream when the two children ran towards their approaching father, he was home already from work, patting both of their heads affectionately as he stepped on the porch. There was a hidden lust in his eyes as he looked over her pregnant form again, she knew he loved seeing her with child, when she was so round she could barely move. This, fetish, made him treat her with more affection, like now when he kissed her head.

"Hello my dear."

She kissed his cheek obediently. "Welcome home husband."

What a perfect life she had.

[cljordan-imperium]

Get to Know My OC

I had a few tags for this I hadn't gotten to, but I can't find the tags, so y'all are going to get a few more of my OC's

I'm going to tag - @blind-the-winds @on-noon @writingpotato07 - no pressure at all!

Pinterest once again chose my OC, snd it's once more a female! (Finally #2)

Kaylin Iona Dufrene

1. Are you named after anyone? Kaylin means "keeper of the keys" and my mother said it was important and never to forget.  My middle name was her first name.

2. When was the last time you cried? *feels Asher land in small dragon form on her shoulder and nuzzle against her neck*  The day my father lost his mind…no, I won't elaborate.  *takes a shake breath*

3. Do you have kids? No. 

4. Do you use sarcasm? Often, and with impunity.  

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Their walk.  You can tell a lot about someone by how they walk and where they're looking.

6. What's your eye color? Hazel

7. Scary movies or happy endings?  Both are ridiculous.  I prefer action, fantasy, and sci-fi, especially if it has dragons. *winks*

8. Any special talents?  I am able to negotiate an alliance, and lead the army into battle if it is broken.  Ash also says I have the beginnings of a decent assassin. *smirks*

9. Where were you born? The Palace of Imperium 

10. What are your hobbies? I don't know now.  I guess I'll have to find a few new ones.  *gently pets Asher’s head with an affectionate smile*

11. Have you any pets?  *looks at Asher and opens her mouth, he blows smoke at her and she devolves in laughter*  

12. What sports do you play/have played? None

13. How tall are you? 5'9

14. Favorite subject in school? I had tutors and hated them.  I did however love when one of…….the Generals would have Asher get me out of class to do war games and strategy with them. *beams and kisses his head*

15. Dream job?  I don't know.  *bites her lip*  Maybe a tutor or day nanny? I love children.  *a soft blush flushes her cheeks*  I'm also training with Arch in medical sorcery, to assist after battles, so maybe a nurse.   I'm done with politics, I want to be useful and helpful 

THE IMPERIUM CHRONICLES TAG LIST - @ceph-the-ghost-writer @kjscottwrites @writingpotato07 @saltysupercomputer @careful-pyromancer @late-to-the-fandom @autumnalwalker @perasperaadastrawriting @fearofahumanplanet @jessica-writes22 @dogmomwrites @mjjune @verba-writing

Let me know if you want +/-

[jennawynn]

Chronotrek: Strange New Worlds Part 1

I've now finished Enterprise and Discover seasons 1 and 2, as well as all the Short Treks up to Children of Mars.

For those of you who are just finding this (sorry for invading your SNW tag), when I started this 'project', I had only seen a handful of episodes of ANY Trek content and the JJ Abrams movies. I decided to watch all the Star Trek canon in in-universe chronological order. Well, simplified. I watch typically while I'm working, so not only might I miss a few things when I get focused, but I also can't just switch episodes on the fly, so I'm only switching at the ends of seasons. No "this episode had time travel and they went back 300 years, so it should be between these two episodes of a different show" stuff. But I am splitting Disco at the end of season 2 so I've finished Season 2 and will pick up 3 after I finish ALL THE REST OF TREK :scream:

You can follow me on this journey (or block it) with the tag #chronotrek.

Ok! On to Strange New Worlds Season 1!

Interesting intro... retro but modern, very colorful (like they said their uniforms were when Pike was introduced on Disco 2x1 :joy:)

Tell me Number One never has a name. I think that was an excellent running gag.

Pike looks like Chris Pine with that beard. I thought that was the former Admiral Cromwell until they showed her face, like it was a flashback. I don't actually know what the dates of everything are, so the date flashing on the screen means nothing. lol

I thought she looked a little familiar, but did not recognize Melanie Scrofano.

At first I thought it was flashing all the way back to Archer's dad and the warp engine. That was in Montana too, right? Were Pike and Archer both horse guys from Montana or am I confusing the two?

Aww Spock guessed right, her name IS Una. Which... is number one :Joy: omg I thought I wouldn't like her being named but the name is a PUN?? I take it back.

Shuttle Stamets?? They named a shuttle after him?

So I guess they retconned the last tiny bit of Disco season 2? Where Spock shows up without a beard and they go off doing things.

And a ship named for Archer.

Mentions of Lt Kirk along with Uhura on the bridge... I know those names.

That should be 'you have the conn' not the comm. >.>

So Pike is scared of what he saw in the time crystal. Not issues with the Discovery 'disappearance.'

Jumping right to the 'another civilization is following the same kind of historical story beats' so we're going down to Alien!World War II or Alien!Civil War Part 2.

Spock looks like Cumberbatch :joy:

lmao using footage from Jan 6 as documentation of the beginning of WW3.

Now there's black side panels to the women's uniforms that look like dress tunics instead of shirts? And Kirk is Samuel, not Jim? idk who Sam is.

Episode 2 Children of the Comet

Shades of Hoshi Sato there- the comms officer who knows way too many languages and is afraid of away missions. It's weird because I know that Uhura is an OG character, so Hoshi came after her, but this show is after Enterprise (and I haven't seen OG Trek) so to me, she's Sato II not the other way around.

Why would you take a man's helmet off after a blow? One, you're wearing the helmets for a reason. Can you breathe? Two, if he had a head or neck injury the helmet could be the only thing keeping him from getting injured even worse.

She has a pretty voice.

I mean... the comet _let them go_ shouldn't the Shepherds respect that?

There is a reason things like 150 and 180 are said 'one-five-oh' or 'one-eight-zero' and not one-fifty or one-eighty. It could cause miscommunication, confusing it for 115/118.

"Maybe don't judge our faith next time." Pike's smirk saying 'we made your god change its mind.' ...so then they explain how the comet is precognitive? It is fate and not science? That seems antithetical to Trek? I thought science was the god Trek worshipped.

I don't like Spock's little curls on the ends of his sideburns.

Episode 3

Yet another reason that the highest level officers shouldn't be on away teams- when someone gets infected with something at impairs their decision making and such who is in charge of the ship, bad things can happen.

Oooh what's M'benga hiding?

Number One has a last name too? And not just one but two!

She just fuckin' carries a full grown man over her shoulder like it's nothing. That's a dummy :joy: Why she so strong? Oh, the strength is even remarked on by the nurse. It's A Thing. She's not human? And nobody knew that? I feel like that would have been a thing noticed in all the many times Starfleet surely scans you. Like... species _has_ to be a thing that they know for medical reasons.

Rukiya means 'she rises up' in Swahili. I used that name for an NPC trans princess in my D&D game. She's The Chosen One.

[nakmor-leigh]

I posted 9,805 times in 2022

170 posts created (2%)

9,635 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@infernalfae

@threefeline

@awi-usdi

@ironbullsmissingeye

@darkspawntaxcollectors

(ilyall 😘)

I tagged 896 of my posts in 2022

#rottmnt movie - 37 posts

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles - 33 posts

#rise of the tmnt - 28 posts

#rottmnt - 26 posts

#baron draxum - 22 posts

#flashing lights - 13 posts

#😍😍😍 - 12 posts

#dragon age absolution - 10 posts

#rottmnt draxum - 9 posts

#self reblog - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 83 characters

#they don't care about your finances or how much you need your phone service to work

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

266 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

#4

So like, if Big Mama kidnapped Lou Jitsu and had him trapped in the Battle Nexus up until DRAXUM kidnapped and mutated him, does that mean human law enforcement has a cold case open for Lou Jitsu's disappearance???

273 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#3

Draxum might have had to choose between retreating with his people or staying with the Turtles

AND HE WOULD HAVE CHOSEN HIS FAMILY

313 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#2

Okay so i think it's WAY funnier and makes way more sense for the Turtles usage of "Big Brother" and "Little Brother" to be ENTIRELY literal.

They were all mutated on the same day at the same time. They're all actually the same age. But Raph is the biggest, so he's the BIG Brother. Donnie and Leo are mid sized, so they're the "middle" children. Mikey is the smallest, and so he's the "little" Brother

And it's ALL Splinter's fault. He started it

589 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Aight i keep seeing this and it's kinda ticking me off so I'm gonna try and change some minds

I've been seeing people site "Late Fee", where Splinter offers to reward the boys with a hug and the boys are enthusiastic and motivated by a hug, as evidence that Splinter is an awful parent

Have you considered that maybe he ACTUALLY raised the boys to just REALLY like hugs????

First, i was raised in a household with a VERY loving mom and a pretty abusive dad. Pulling teeth was easier than trying to get love from dad. But mom gave love like it was going out of style, and she ALSO would offer hugs as rewards for tasks done. I was JUST as enthusiastic as the boys because mom hugs were the BEST, not because i was desperate for them.

Second, the boys are ALWAYS hugging on each other, April, AND Splinter anyways ON SCREEN. It's so obvious that they're a super loving family. Kids don't just pick that up, that's something the adults in their life show them.

Like yeah, i know that Splinter isn't the BEST dad. He can be pretty lazy, but he's also the single parent of FOUR mutant children without any support structures and STILL manages to rarely blow up in anger at the boys (he'll start to get angry, then take a moment to calm down and collect himself), actively practices healthy communication, and regularly compliments the boys and tells them that he loves them. I have SEEN parental neglect and that is NOT IT. It's lazy parenting at WORSE

And before you say "Well Mikey said he doesn't know what Splinter's whiskers feel like!", bruh i think that's just a MIKEY thing. This is the same dude that eats peanut butter with his fingers while his brother has a PEANUT ALLERGY (you and me both Raph, you and me both)

845 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fullcupceramics]

I dont need halloween this year to feel haunted by ghosts and spirits,

Ive reached my limits and i wont share with you the specifics

of what I lost, saw, and experienced being the recipient of a war I never agreed to be in, a war that most in the region never asked for.

you see, this year I've been running on the holy land for the exits.

running to create distance between me the rockets and the bullets

running so i wouldnt be another statistic, another causality of this war.

Im so tired of running.

and i think about these leaders,

I think that they must be cracking, breaking, awaking at night in must be painstaiking

But its not.

on their thrones their making legacies, not of handshaking but of taking, land, life, and liberty.

sorry off topic This poem isnt political,

its about how the war has affected me

but while im at it, im begging on my knees, please, i plead

my mind found a way to escape the cruel world; it created a wall and a screen.

i watched it play out in theater - scene by scene, sometimes i couldnt differentiate what was real or a dream

i couldnt comprehend how something so serene could darken from the war machine.

The bombs are further now, but my body doesn't always know

so im still breaking down on the cement feeling the blow

and i find that even on days like today,

the spirists get in the way

and have something to say.

swarming, buzzing, drowning out logic and reason.

its treason and im freezin and losing the moment.

so ive learned to envision the roots of a tree

and think of 5 things I feel, touch, smell, and see

these fucking symptoms of PTSD are mean

but im grateful.

grateful to be alive and breathing and free

grateful to be experiencing this life.

so maybe I'm not haunted

just trying to be fully rooted again and watered by the rain and the sun.

-----

I dont need halloween this year to feel haunted,

it feels like im still watching the movie on the screen, sceene by scene.

they take my presence

their power overwhelms me

so ive learned to envision the roots of tree

and think of 5 things I feel, touch, smell, and see

but man is it exhausting and frightening to feel lost in my brain,

just bring the chain so i can feel secure

I wish it was as easy as sharing space along the mediterranean shores where their children - Jewish, Muslim, and Christian children - could explore the crisp clear waters.

But its not. And this poem is not meant to be political. But while im at, im begging on my knees. please.

couldnt comprehend the flood of videos, images, and stories,

brutality, rape, murder and burning

im still roaring.

what was before was no more.

What was the world i inhabited for 27 years,

now felt like a place in which all i held were fears.

[more]

The bombs are further now, but my body doesn't always know

so im still breaking down on the cement feeling the blow

sometimes still watching the movie on the screen, sceene by scene.

I havent really escaped anything because it feels like its everywhere and people have decided that to win is to pcik a side and see the other as evil.

And im here to say that after years of living in the region anything but seeing humanity is lethal.

dont be part of the halloween ghots and spirits, these evil sprits seem to be in people

What is a brother, mother, and father to say but "please stay safe"

but how do you stay safe in a place now foreign.

how do you stay safe in a place that is under attack and you cant understand all the news because its in a language you were only beginnign to understand and you want to go but feel guilty to abandon your friends but feel obliged to get home to your family an ocean away. How do you stay safe when your body is trembling and your mind is frozen like the arctic and you cant understand how you let yourself live so naively for 27 years.

Its been a year since our world changed and people decided that to win is to pick a side and see the other as evil.

We can play this game, we can argue over semantics, and facts,

I can say they were here first, and youd contradict.

I can say they were the under dogs first, and youd contradict.

I can say they are not the oppressors, and youd contradict.

I can say they are defending their right to exist, and youd contradict.

And in the ocean wed drown instead of helping each other swim ashore where we can breathe a shared air on a land

and to create distance between this

[mo-tuar-ceatha]

3.4.2023 8:11 pm

It'll be your birthday soon.

Then mine.

45.

I'm going to be fucking 45.

If I remember correctly, which is iffy these days, you'll be 37? I want to say I'm 8 years older than you but it's all kinda blurry. I think of it now and it's like it wasn't even me. Sometimes I wonder if it was real at all, or if I'm making you up.

I wonder how you are at this time of year. At Christmas too. Every time I see an ad for those stupid ass Christmas movies you loved so much. I will never understand your fondness for them. But it makes me smile while I shake my head. You'll never guess who also loves them, Pita. PITA!!! Out of all my children, she'd be the last I'd expect. I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised if I told, out of my living children, she is turning out to be most like me.

Pita is 15 now. She'll be 16 in April. She is something else, that's for sure. That sweet little girl you remember is still in her but also a new her. A dark her. A product of what we all went through those horrible years. Death after death. Sister gone, grandparents gone, mom gone out her mind for a bit. In spite of it all, she's fighting. She's smart and reasonable when it comes to school. In life and friendship and boys, she's like me. Her heart will get her into trouble. We spend a lot of time together. Currently she's at a boy named Jonathan's house. Sounds weird but that's what I call him. There's a story behind that.

Ray's at work. Cooking at Applebee's as a matter of fact. He's 17 yrs old and makes 18$/hr so getting him to finish high-school will be a miracle. Unlike other people, I refuse to give up on him. He works, has a girlfriend, Angelique. I get along with her fine. She's unique, I guess you could say. Lidia, Pita and I call her Ol' girl. I still give everyone nicknames. He hasn't ridden his bike since that last accident. He went once after that and then not again. I think ripping his face open scared him pretty good. I'm not complaining. It scared the shit outta me too. I try not to let loosing Morgan affect them much more then it already has but fucking shit. I want to wrap them in bubble wrap and make them sit on the couch for the rest of their lives but that's not fair to them.

Lidia moved out as soon as she turned 18, no surprise there. Things are still hard between us. She was late to work. They got a hold of me. I called and called and freaked out, drove to her apartment, blowing up her phone, almost certain she'd been sex trafficked or something awful. She was asleep. Also a plausible senerio but my mind goes straight to the worst case. I think it's cuz the worst case has happened but I battle myself to not let it control me. I've come a long way, but have a long way to go.

She is also turning out to be more like me then she'll ever admit. Which is funny cuz that's such a like me thing to do. She's 19. Not in school. Serving. Texas Roadhouse on 13th. The new one. She works there with her boyfriend. It's annoying really. They do everything together. Live together, work together. His name is Perrion. They went to high-school together. They dated sophomore year then broke up. She came out bi and had 2 girlfriends after that. Not at the same time. Lol but yea. After they graduated she and Perrion started talk again and yep. Now they are constantly together. He and I have had a few incidences. I don't hate him. But I also don't understand why she wants to be with someone who is almost constantly angry about one thing or another. And I do think he's holding her back. Naw. I think she's holding herself back and using him as an excuse. She's so afraid to fail, it's stopping her from trying. Also a very me thing to do. I try to talk to her, but I still have zero credibility with her.

I have 2 cats now. They are my best friends. lol. My only friends really. They have probably been the biggest thing keeping me alive aside from the kids. They are all black. Like witch cats. lol. Bear and Shadow. Before you think, oh how original, their names. They came with names and I felt bad about changing them. So I decided to just give them full names instead. Bear's full name is Bjorn "Bear" Connelly and Shadow is Shadowfax "Shadow" Connelly. Bjorn is from The Hobbit. He's the skin changer. And Shadowfax is the name of Gandolfs horse in The Lord of the Rings. I'm such a nerd. Then Connelly cuz my kids didn't get my name so shit. At least the cats will. Bear rides on my shoulder like a parrot at least once a day and Shadow's meow sounds like a terradactyl. Bear is a treat whore, Shadow is a catnip whore, and both sleep on their backs like people. They are so fucking weird and I love them more then life itself. They are brothers and have always been together. I got them as kittens. The person I got them from said they were 8 weeks but I think they were younger. So that crazy, old, white, pothead, hippie cat lady vibe I had going when I knew you is really starting to pan out for me. 🤣🤣🤣 I've got goals. I will not rest till the kids on the block tell each other I'm a witch. 🤣🤣🤣

[jedi-enthusiast]

Have you ever watched the movies? And like, did you even read my post?

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Once again, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi, but Watto refused to let him free her—he would only let him take Anakin.

There’s literally nothing else they could’ve done, unless you’re saying that Qui-Gon should’ve murdered Watto and risked starting something with the Hutts, and risked Shmi blowing up because of the tracker in her neck—because, for all we know, they could be set to automatically blow up if their slaver is killed.

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The Jedi didn’t “demonize” him for missing/worrying about Shmi, they were trying to get him to admit to his worry/fear- (which is literally the first step in emotional regulation) -and then, when he refused to acknowledge his emotions, warned him that fear could lead to the Dark Side.

And they’re literally right!

You can’t be pissed at them for telling Anakin that when it’s literally what happens in the next two movies. Plus, out of universe, it quite literally serves as foreshadowing for what happens to Anakin—since we know he turns into Vader, but we don’t know the specifics.

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Also, in my post, I literally addressed this argument.

To quote myself:

“And you can't say- "well, she just wanted to get Anakin out of slavery, she can't be blamed" -because Shmi could've asked Qui-Gon to do anything with Anakin! Take him to an adoption agency, make sure he finds a good home, get him away from Tatooine and make sure he's safe, etc.

But she told him to take Anakin to the Order and train him to become a Jedi.

And, even if Shmi didn't know of any other options for Anakin, did y'all want Qui-Gon to fucking lie to her? Say he'll train Anakin and then just give him to an adoption agency while flipping Shmi the bird?

Or would you have rather Qui-Gon left him in slavery with Shmi? Because remember, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi but Watto refused to sell her, he would only sell Anakin.

Trick question! Y'all would bash the Jedi no matter what they did!”

Next time, actually read my post before trying to argue with me, please.

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Also, you can’t demonize the whole Jedi Order for the actions of one guy.

Plus, you’re missing the fact that Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Padme were literally in the middle of trying to free Naboo from a blockade and trying to save the thousands of people there.

And Qui-Gon only tested Anakin’s Force-sensitivity because, once again, Shmi kept bringing it up.

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Again, the Jedi didn’t “demonize” Anakin for being nine and “missing his mother.”

They simply had criteria for him joining---ie being 4 years old or younger---and, when he didn't fit that criteria, they tested him to see if he'd admit to his emotions and therefore be able to practice emotional mindfulness/regulation.

Which is pretty fucking important when acting on your emotions and refusing to regulate them leads to the Dark Side, which then leads to things like murder, slavery, genocide, decades long oppression of the galaxy...

...you know, all things that Anakin did because he didn't practice emotional mindfulness or non-attachment.

The Jedi specifically adopt young children so that they grow up practicing emotional mindfulness and loving in a non-attached way, so that way it's more natural to them.

If someone grows up not regulating their emotions and loving via attachment then it's very hard for them to change and start practicing those things---I should know, I'm attempting to do it, and it's not easy. It takes a lot of hard work, work that Anakin was never willing to put in.

That's why the Jedi didn't think being a Jedi was a good fit for him, and they were right!

But no, god forbid a religious organization actually has criteria for people joining.

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I adhere to Lucas canon, not Legends, because Legends is just a bunch of add-ons that George Lucas himself said didn't have anything to do with canon Star Wars. Not to mention that Legends content is wildly contradictory because people rarely collaborated or adhered to what other people made.

But hey! If you get to use Legends content, so do I!

Remember how Anakin is a racist?

Remember how he met a Tusken Jedi, tried to murder him despite him doing nothing to him, only stopped trying to murder him after he took off his mask and looked human, and then said he'd murder the Tuskens---including the fucking children---all over again if he had the chance?

Yeah, are you sure you want to bring Legends content into this?

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Finally, no it doesn't, because the Jedi don't forcibly take anyone.

We're literally shown in The Clone Wars that people willingly give up their Force-sensitive kids to be raised by the Order, and have the option to keep their children if they don't want to give them up.

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So yeah, your argument is shit and you clearly didn't read my post, but thanks for proving my point!

Like I've said before, at least Stanakins are consistent in the way they prove my points.

Something that’s literally insane to me is the amount of hypocrisy that anti-Jedi people have in regards to the Jedi adopting Anakin.

(or “kidnapping” him, as they’d phrase it—as if Shmi wasn’t literally saying “take Anakin with you to become a Jedi” every other line in TPM, but whatever-)

———

The Jedi: *adopt Anakin*

Anti-Jedi people/Stanakins: they kidnapped him, abused him, brainwashed him into suppressing his emotions, trapped him so that he couldn’t leave, and told him love was evil!!!

The Jedi: *say they probably shouldn’t adopt Anakin since their lifestyle wouldn’t be a good fit for him*

Anti-Jedi people/Stanakins: How dare they not immediately accept him into the Order!!! How dare they actually have criteria for someone joining like any other religion!!! How dare they have valid reasons for thinking that being a Jedi wouldn’t be a good fit for Anakin!!!

———

And it’s usually the same people saying both arguments, depending on which one better fits their argument.

Like…pick a side, for the love of god.

Should the Jedi have not taken him in or should they have taken him in? You can’t have both.

And if you think they were wrong to adopt Anakin, why aren’t y’all getting pissed at Shmi? She’s the one that kept pressuring Qui-Gon to take Anakin and train him to become a Jedi!

And you can’t say- “well, she just wanted to get Anakin out of slavery, she can’t be blamed” -because Shmi could’ve asked Qui-Gon to do anything with Anakin! Take him to an adoption agency, make sure he finds a good home, get him away from Tatooine and make sure he’s safe, etc.

But she told him to take Anakin to the Order and train him to become a Jedi.

And, even if Shmi didn’t know of any other options for Anakin, did y’all want Qui-Gon to fucking lie to her? Say he’ll train Anakin and then just give him to an adoption agency while flipping Shmi the bird?

Or would you have rather Qui-Gon left him in slavery with Shmi? Because remember, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi but Watto refused to sell her, he would only sell Anakin.

Trick question! Y’all would bash the Jedi no matter what they did!

Like, what was the other option that y’all apparently have in mind? Since you keep shit talking Qui-Gon/the Jedi for literally every decision they could’ve possibly made.

It just…the hypocrisy amazes me.