#it's FK we were never going to get through this pain free

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers EP7: The Boat Scene 'Do you want to jump or do you want to fall?'

So yep, joke's on me. I was so wrong about how this scene may unfold and the episode in general. Credit to Jojo for keeping me on my toes. I wanted to dedicate a post to this, both for the fantastic performances but also the great character beats here.

BISON'S RESOLVE FOR REVENGE

I kept wondering just how resolute Bison would be. I thought that if he saw how upset Kant was about him getting hurt, he may waver. But it actually seemed to have the opposite effect.

Bison is understandably livid at Kant. I think a portion of that rage is intensified because it's with himself. The betrayal cuts deeper due to his own negligence. He should have known better, and Fadel warned him as such. As the confrontation unfolds, Bison's steely resolve veers towards agitation and restlessness. A twitch. An itch beneath the skin. An almost defiant urgency to squash any margin for hesitancy or doubt - that the sooner this is over with, the less risk there is for him to have second thoughts. Khao does a wonderful job of trickling out only the tiniest of hairline cracks in that resolve, to keep us guessing.

Forcing Kant to jump could also be a test for remorse. 'If I tell you to jump, will you do it or will you fight back or even beg for mercy?' If Bison wanted Kant dead, he could have done it already. We see him consider all the brutal ways he could do so. And yet the one he chooses is actually the least hands on. Watching Kant enact his own demise seems to be a testament to something Bison wants an answer to: a confession perhaps. 'Are you sorry for what you did? Do you regret it? Do you feel bad for me? Was it worth it?' and most importantly 'Do you love me? Did you ever love me?' When someone hurts us, we often want them to admit to their wrongdoing. To take responsibility for the damage they've caused as it gives validation to our pain.

Kant is debilitated by fear, but he's also resigned to his guilt. It's been chasing him this entire time. So he doesn't deny or rebuff what Bison's saying. Doesn't try to deflect or swerve like he's done before now. Neither does he put up a fight for his life. He displays a bedded in helplessness, an acceptance that something you saw coming has finally caught up to you.

When Kant does jump, it seems to take Bison a second to register what's happened. The fact that Kant doesn't come back up. The realisation that Kant may actually drown and die. And he panics.

KANT LAID BARE

(This is my cue to gush about First's acting). I loved his choice of line delivery in this scene. How quietly he speaks. How small, tired, broken and subdued this makes Kant appear. It's such an unexpected but phenomenal choice. It provides a complete 180 to Kant's usual brand of flirty showmanship. That's isn't to say that version of Kant is entirely false but he's definitely been playing up the 'perfect boyfriend' bit. To be as smooth and charming as possible, and to say all the right things to win Bison's heart. This is the first time Bison is seeing Kant stripped of all that bravado. And what's left underneath? Just a man whose desperately afraid.

The sheer terror that First portrays here is so layered and visceral. He doesn't just capture that primal fear of death, but there's so much more you can read into outside of the little he does say. Underlying all that physical and mental torment is trauma, a childlike desperation that renders him completely at a loss.

He didn't have a choice when Chris threatened him to become a pawn. He didn't have a choice when it came to choosing between his brother or Bison. He didn't have a choice to walk away. And now he doesn't have a choice in how Bison wants his revenge. I've talked about the loss of control and agency with these two characters quite a bit, but this is the epitome of having your autonomy entirely stripped from you. Kant is both paralysed by his fear of drowning, but also by his guilt and knowing that he brought this on himself - having sealed his fate when he agreed to the job in the first place.

"I promise when you wake up, the version of me you'll see is the real me." What happens when you strip a person of all their defences? You get down to their rawest form. And now we're seeing it.

Thank god the pair reconcile next week, because this was absolutely agonising to sit through. Firstkhao have done it again, but did we really expect any less?

You can keep tabs on bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for my other long-form posts around The Heart Killers, which I’ll be updating in real time as the show airs.

[fairyqueenofthedragons]

The Magic Begins

Fablekingdom chapter 2

As I'm following canon set up of chapters, it starts with set up still. I am trying to show a slightly different dynamic between the siblings, while keeping the spirit of it. There will be bigger changes later on, but obviously the beginning is hard to change majorly, especially just arriving lol.

(Find Chapter One with a server of “Fk ch 1)

Hope you enjoy the chapter :D

Come chat with me on discord: https://discord.gg/8Vc6w9JWxv

OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO

Kendra had been sitting in the car for hours.

She and Seth had done just about everything they could think of to handle the boredom, but she’d finished her two books, they’d played a dozen rounds of tic-tac-toe, and he’d moved onto trying to beat her at chopsticks (that game with your fingers). Seth had had a few comics, but he’d gone through them faster then she had her books. Even his handheld video game couldn’t hold his attention anymore.

“I thought you said that Grandpa Sorenson lived in Connecticut, not India,” Seth grumbled.

Mom sighed, having listened to Seth’s complaints for the last hour, “It won’t be much longer. Enjoy the scenery.”

She’d said that the last six times.

“It’s boring! I’m hungry, can we stop for food?”

Kendra was on Seth’s side here; the scenery was boring.

Mom pulled up the grocery bag full of snacks, “How about some Peanut butter and crackers instead?”

Seth shot Kendra a pained look but reached for the crackers regardless.

“Ooh, I want some Almond Roca,” Dad said without taking his eyes from the road.

He’s still managed to keep to his New Year’s resolution of keeping Almond Roca on hand at all times.

“Do you want anything Kendra?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Kendra turned her gaze outside as Seth munched on his snack. When was this drive going to be over? At least Grandfathers house can’t be as boring as this drive.

Honestly, Kendra wasn’t happy they were being sent off to stay with their grandparents just because of some cruise. She wished her family would just let them come with… or maybe just her, Seth might be too young (and too annoying).

They would be gone for seventeen days! Kendra couldn’t believe they’d just leave them like this.

They’re getting it for free, them and all the aunts and uncles on her mom’s side. They didn’t win a contest or anything to get it, they got the cruise because Kendra’s grandparents had asphyxiated.

Grandma and Grandpa Larsen had been visiting relatives in South Carolina. Unfortunately, the trailer they lived in had some gas leak and they’d all died in their sleep. The grandparents had specified a long time ago that when they died all their kids and spouses were to use an allocated sum of money to go on a Scandinavian cruise.

Grandchildren were not invited.

“We’re almost there kids!” Kendra’s dad said cheerfully.

“Yay,” Seth grumbled. “Then you guys can abandon us for your fancy cruise.”

“Won’t you get bored stuck on a boat for seventeen days?” Kendra asked hopefully.

Dad caught her eye in the rearview mirror. “The food is supposed to be incredible, top reviews. Snails, fish eggs, the works. It’s gonna be great.”

Mom wacked his arm.

“We’re not all that excited about the trip kids,” Mom said sadly. “I doubt your grandparents envisioned an accidental death when they made the request. The cruise is to honor their memory more than for fun.”

“What kind of death did they plan then?” Seth muttered.

Kendra couldn’t help but agree, who planned their death?

The ship stops in ports as you go,” Dad said, deliberately redirecting the conversation. “You get to disembark for part of the time.”

“Are you at least going to get us something?” Kendra asked. “If you’re just going to leave us at your parent’s house.”

“Of course we will dear,” Mom reassured. “We’ll get you some chocolates, maybe some books, maybe there will be cool jewelry!”

“I want a sword,” Seth said. “A sharp one.”

“I think it’s great for you kids that you get to stay with my parents,” Dad added. “I mean, they never invite anyone to stay with them. It’s definitely better than some cruise.”

Kendra shared a look with Seth, their parents were full of it.

“They’re hermits,” Seth argued. “We barely know them!”

“They’re my parents,” Dad said. “I survived, you’ll have fun.”

The car passed through a small town, only a few buildings lined the road, many seeming old a run down. There didn’t appear to be anything more interesting than a small library at the corner.

“It’s very exciting,” Dad continued. “Like I said, they never invite anyone. You’ll have a blast.”

Kendra tried hard not to roll her eyes. She knew for a fact that they hadn’t been invited. Kendra had overheard their mom when she approached Grandpa Sorenson about letting the kids stay with him at the funeral.

The funeral itself hadn’t been fun at all, it was creepy seeing her grandparents all dressed up fancy with lots of makeup. It didn’t look like them at all.

Those grandparents, the Larsen’s, they were the ones that they’d known. They’d come to lots of holidays and done many long visits with Kendra’s family. But Kendra couldn’t remember seeing the Sorenson’s much since Seth had started second grade.

Grandma and Grandpa Sorenson had inherited an estate in Connecticut around the time her parents were married. All the stories she’d heard were fantastical, filled with fairies and demons and witches. They were obviously fake, it made her think the place was something very boring.

Honestly, everyone was shocked when grandpa Sorenson had shown up at the funeral. It’d been more than eighteen months since either grandparent had visited anywhere.

He’d apologized that Grandma Ruth hadn’t been able to come, she’d fallen ill, but it really was the norm for only one to show up.

But at the end Kendra had overheard Mom talking to Grandpa Sorenson, cajoling him into watching her and Seth. She’d been heading to the bathroom but paused when she’d overheard them at the corner.

“Why can’t they stay with Marci?”

“Normally they would, but Marci is coming on the cruise.”

Kendra had risked a peek and seen Grandpa Sorenson standing across from her mom.

“Where are Marci’s kids going?”

“To her in-laws.”

“What about a baby-sitter?”

Grandpa had seemed almost pleading then, his expression tight.

“Two and a half weeks is a long time for a sitter. You’ve mentioned before something about having them over…”

“Yes, I do recall… But does it have to be late June? What about July?”

“The cruise is on a time frame. What’s the difference?”

He’d rubbed his face with a sigh.

“Things are extra busy then… I don’t know, Marla. I’m not that good with kids. Is there no where else they could go?”

“I’m sorry Stan,” Mom said, sounding on the verge of tears. “I know things are busy for you, and I don’t want to go on this cruise. You did so good with them when they were younger, I know you don’t see them often but… This cruise was important to my parents, so I want to go for them. If you can’t take care of the kids we can stay behind-“

“No,” Grandpa Sorenson interrupted with a sigh. “It’s fine. I’m sure we can find some place to lock them up.”

So, no, Grandpa Sorenson did not invite them.

Seth finished his crackers and pulled his game back out, flipping through the cartridges.

“Which game should I play?”

Kendra leaned over, “The fashion one.”

He rolled his eyes, “That one is just for character design.”

“Then make an elf.”

“I don’t want to!”

“You asked which you should do.”

“Nevermind, your suggestion is dumb.”

Seth ended up picking a fighting game and started it up.

Kendra got bored of watching quickly and turned to look out the windows. The trees were large and dark, little light slipping through the branches.

She jolted when they turned onto a gravel driveway.

“Look at that sign,” Seth said.

She followed his finger to see signs hanging on the side of the road.

Private Property

No Trespassing

Trespassers Will Be Persecuted

Please respect our privacy

“What are all these signs?” Kendra muttered.

“Oh, you know Grandpa Sorenson,” her dad said cheerfully. “Such a sense of humor.”

“I think they’re funny,” Seth declared. “Can we get some for our house?”

Kendra frowned at them as the car continued up the long driveway, no house anywhere in sight.

There were more signs as they went.

Beware of the Dog

We do not call 911

Beware of .12 Gauge

No Public Access at any Time

Owner Shoots

Kendra leaned back. This seems so… pleasant.

“I like that one,” Seth said pointing at the Owner Shoots sign.

Kendra shook her head as they finally reached the end of the driveway. Before them was a wrought-iron fence topped with fleurs-de-lis. Open in their path was a large double gate. She peered around but couldn’t see the end of the fence through the trees.

Even after passing through the gates there was still no sign of the house through the trees, until suddenly the trees cut off.

A large house came into view suddenly. It wasn’t quite a mansion, but was definitely larger than most houses Kendra had seen.

It was constructed out of dark wood and stone, old looking but solid and in good shape. The grounds around it were much more impressive though. There was a massive flower garden blooming in front of the house, with manicured hedges and a fish pond. It seemed to wrap around the side of the house too. Kendra wondered what flowers there were, and if there was a vegetable garden as well.

Further back Kendra could see a massive barn, at least five stories tall and topped with a large weather vane that she couldn’t quite make out but seemed shaped like an animal, but not a rooster.

“Oh, it’s lovely,” Mom said. “I wish we were all staying.”

Kendra blinked, “You’ve never been here?”

“No,” Mom said sadly. “Your father came here a few times before we were married.”

Dad nodded, “Yeah. There are some wild stories about this place, haha, I’ve told you a few of them.”

Seth yawned, “Yeah, like the evil witch in a shack.”

“Or the demon in the chapel.”

“Aren’t there trolls over one hill?”

Their dad laughed, “Yeah, my dad used to tell some wild stories. You should hear the ones Aunt Sophie would tell sometimes. She swears she met satyrs one time.”

The two shared an exasperated look.

“Anyways, you’ll have a blast. We never stayed long, but it was always entertaining. Worst comes to worst you can just hang out in the pool.”

Kendra rolled her eyes. Honestly, they were too old to believe all those fairy tales.

The car pulled to a stop just outside the garage as the front door open.

Grandpa Sorenson stepped out, followed by a tall, lanky man and a thin, older woman. Mom, Dad, Seth, and Kendra hopped out of the car.

The older woman was unfamiliar to Kendra, and so was the man. The woman had white hair streaked with black strands, and yet her face seemed ageless, her age impossible to place. Her skin was a tawny olive tone that appeared completely flawless, her black hair was pin-straight and framed her face.

The man had messy brown hair to go with matching brown eyes that studied them intently. He came over to the van, helping Dad open the back and begin removing suitcases.

“Just place the things inside,” Grandpa told Dad. “Dale will take them up to the bedroom.”

“Where’s Mom?” Dad asked looking around.

“She’s visiting your Aunt Edna.”

Dad looked surprised. “In Missouri?”

“Edna’s dying,” Grandpa said grimly.

Kendra had barely heard of Aunt Edna, and never met her, so she wasn’t that affected by it. Dad seemed upset thought.

She shifted awkwardly, studying the house to distract herself from their conversation.

The windows were cool, with bubbly glass. And there were bird nests under the eaves. She also noticed a lot of butterflies fluttering around.

Mom suddenly drew their attention and Seth and her scrambled to gather their things from the car and shove it all in their backpacks to bring in.

“I’ll grab the pillows if you grab the blankets?” Seth offered.

“Sure,” Kendra agreed, reaching for the blanket Seth had brought for napping on the car ride while he snagged her pillow.

Seth also snagged his ‘emergency kit’, a cereal box filled with odds and ends he thought would come in handy.

The two hurried after their parents, reaching them at the front door.

“Oh, there you are,” Mom said. “Got everything?”

“Yeah,” Seth huffed. “Except a ticket to go on the cruise.”

Mom sighed, ruffling Seth’s hair. “We’ll miss you too.”

He groaned, swiping at her hand as she turned to Kendra.

“Watch out for your brother, and both of you stay out of trouble, okay?”

Kendra nodded, “We’ll do our best.”

“So who’s this?” Dad was asking Grandpa.

“This is Lena, our housekeeper,” Grandpa said. “She helps around the house while Dale helps me tend to the grounds.”

“Nice to meet you,” Dad said.

“A pleasure,” Lena agreed with a soft accent. Kendra couldn’t quite place it, yet it reminded her of the ocean.

Lena opened the door, beckoning them inside.

“Oh, the home is beautiful,” Mom said. “I wish we had time for a tour.”

“Maybe when you get back,” Grandpa offered.

Kendra looked around. The house really was beautiful.

The glossy wood floors shone in the light and a low table in the entry hall held a beautifully painted ceramic vase with wilting flowers placed in it. There was a tall, brass coatrack off to one side beside a black bench with a high, carved back. It looked old and very interesting.

“Thank you again for letting the kids stay with you,” Dad said. “I don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”

Grandpa nodded, looking a bit awkward.

“It’s our pleasure.”

“I wish we could visit some,” Dad said. “But we’re on a really tight schedule.”

Grandpa pat his shoulder, “I understand, another time. Don’t let us keep you from your trip.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

Dad turned to Kendra and Seth, ruffling Seth’s hair.

“Have fun kids, we’ll be back before you know it.”

“Be good,” Mom said, hugging Kendra then Seth. “Do whatever Grandpa Sorenson tells you.”

Kendra sniffed, tears welling up. She swallowed hard and nodded, “Have a fun cruise.”

“Bring us back souvenirs,” Seth reminded.

Mom laughed, “The best ones.”

“We love you kids,” Dad said as he headed to the door.

Mom hugged them both one last time then went after him.

Kendra hurried after them, watching as they climbed into the SUV and start it up. Dad honked the horn as he pulled out, turning around and driving away. Kendra watched until the SUV vanished into the trees.

She tried not to think that her parents were probably relieved to be off without Seth and her. They were probably delighted for the vacation, not caring that they’d abandoned their two kids alone in a pretty, but creepy home with a grandparent they barely know.

Seth was poking around the entrance room, poking at one of the cabinets and picking up one of the intricate pieces of a decorative chess set.

Grandpa stood awkwardly, watching Seth and wincing when Seth put down a piece too hard.

“Leave the chess pieces alone,” Kendra told Seth. “They look expensive and breakable.”

“It’s fine,” Grandpa said, looking relieved when Seth put them down. He cleared his throat, “Shall I show you to your room?”

“Okay,” Seth said. “When’s lunch?”

Grandpa coughed, “It’s a bit past lunch but we can make you a snack to hold you till dinner.”

Seth nodded eagerly, “I’m starving.”

Kendra followed silently as Grandpa went up the stairs and down a carpeted hall to the foot of a narrow wooden staircase leading up to a white door.

“We don’t often have guests, especially children,” Grandpa explained. “I think you’ll be the most comfortable in the attic.”

Kendra was expecting something dark and musty, like the attic back home, but when he opened the door she saw it was actually very nice.

It was set up like a cheerful playroom. Spacious, clean, and bright, the long room had two beds at the far end, one wall covered in bookshelves and a couple of dressers, and the other held two wardrobes and some toy chests. There was a unicorn rocking horse sitting to the side, and a full dollhouse in one corner with a small piano in the other. Sitting beside of one of the dressers was a hen in a cage.

Seth went straight for the chicken. “Cool!” He poked a finger through the slender bars, trying to pet the soft looking feathers.

“Be careful, Seth,” Kendra warned. “Be gentle.”

“He’ll be fine,” Grandpa soothed. “Goldilocks is more a house pet than a barnyard hen. Your grandmother usually takes care of her, but since she’s gone I thought you kids might enjoy taking care of her for now. You’ll need to feed her, clean her cage, and collect her eggs.”

Seth looked delighted, “She lays eggs?”

“An egg or two a day if you keep her well fed,” Grandpa confirmed, motioning to a white plastic bucket full of kernels. “One scoop in the morning and in the evening should be good. I’ll show you how to change the lining of her cage in a few days. Make sure she has plenty of water and a tiny bowl of milk each morning.”

“Milk?”

He smiled mysteriously, “That’s the secret behind the eggs.”

“Can we take her out?” Seth asked, now stroking her feathers.

“Be gentle,” Grandpa said. “And put her back after.”

“Is it okay for us to play with the toys?” Kendra asked, studying the dollhouse. “Some of these look expensive.”

“Toys should be played with,” Grandpa said. “Just try to take care of them and that will be enough.”

“Awesome,” Seth said, going over to the piano and banging on the keys.

Kendra blinked, the notes sounded different than a piano. She couldn’t quite place what was off.

“While you stay here, this room is your space,” Grandpa said. “Within reason of course. I won’t pick up this space, nor bother you about it, as long as you treat the rest of the house with respect.”

“Alright,” Kendra agreed.

“Sounds good,” Seth nodded.

“I also have some unfortunate news. We’re in the height of tick season, have you heard of Lyme disease?”

Seth shook his head, but Kendra considered for a moment.

“I think so, but I can’t remember what it is.”

“It was originally discovered in the town of Lyme, Connecticut, not too far from here. You can catch it from tick bites, and during tick season the woods here are full of ticks.”

“What’s it do?” Seth asked.

“It starts out as a rash,” Grandpa said. “But it leads to arthritis, paralysis, and heart failure. And on top of that, ticks in general are bad to have. If you try to pull them off the heads detach, makes them hard to remove.”

“Gross,” Kendra muttered.

Grandpa nodded, “They’re very small and hard to see, at least until they fill up on blood, then they get as large as grapes.”

“Wow,” Seth said. “Can’t you just use bug spray?”

Grandpa nodded, “That can help, but isn’t a guarantee. The point is, you kids aren’t allowed to go into the woods. Stay on the lawn, play in the pool, explore the gardens, but stay away from the woods. I won’t be taking you to the hospital for Lyme disease.”

They both nodded.

“Good. As long as you follow that rule it’ll be fine. Break it and I’ll have to take away your outdoor privileges for your own safety.”

Seth winced, “Right, got it.”

“We understand,” Kendra assured him.

Grandpa nodded again, looking satisfied.

“One last thing,” he continued. “You’ll also need to stay out of the barn. There’s a lot of old tools and ladders and rusty pieces of farm equipment. I don’t want to risk you getting injured or getting tetanus.”

“Okay,” Seth agreed easily.

“Sounds reasonable,” Kendra said.

“Is there a TV?” Seth asked, poking at a canvas on an easel by one of the toy chests.

“No TV, or radio. We don’t get good reception out here, and it’s very expensive to run lines out.”

“When’s dinner?”

“In a few hours, Lena will be bringing up a snack for you soon. On that note, if you need anything, go to Lena. I’m very busy handling the upkeep of the property, so Lena will help with whatever you need.” He motioned to a purple cord hanging against the wall near one of the beds. “Tug the cord if you need her.”

“Alright, will we eat in one of the dining rooms?”

Grandpa nodded, “When I’m able to join you yes. On the days I’m too busy, like today, you can eat in here, in the kitchen, or anywhere else in the house. As long as you keep everything relatively clean you’re free to eat where you’re comfortable.”

“Wow,” said Seth. “Mom and Dad never let us eat in our rooms!”

Grandpa’s lips twitched, “Well, if it seems you can’t clean up after yourselves I may put a limit on it. But for now, you’re free to eat where you please.”

“Awesome,” Seth muttered.

Kendra’s smiled, that did sound nice.

“Now then, I need to go and complete my chores. I’ll likely not see you again till tomorrow.” He turned to leave but paused, pulling out a tiny key ring from his coat pocket. “Each of these keys fit something in this room. See if you can figure out what each unlocks.”

Kendra accepted the keyring curiously and Grandpa headed out, shutting the door gently behind him.

Seth had opened a toy chest now and was examining the contents. The toys were old-fashioned but in excellent condition. Soldiers, dolls, puzzles, stuffed animals, wooden blocks, some blocks shaped like logs, and others.

Kendra went to the window, a telescope put before it. She tried to peer through the eyepiece but couldn’t get it to focus right no matter how much she adjusted the knobs.

Pulling away she studied the window, realizing they were made of bubbly glass like the front of the house.

She unfastened the latch, pushing the window open. Even without the telescope she could see far into the forest. She moved the telescope closer and peered through it. After a moment of adjusted the knobs she could see even the leaves of the trees in clear detail.

“Oh, let me see,” Seth said, peering over her shoulder.

“Give me a bit, I just started looking.”

“But I wanna see.”

“Go play with the toys some,” Kendra huffed. “I’ll let you look after I’m done.”

“But sharing is caring,” Seth insisted.

“I said you could look, let me use it first though. I was using it already.”

Seth squinted, “What are you even looking at?”

“The trees.”

“Boring, let me see. I’ll look at something more interesting.”

Kendra rolled her eyes but stepped away, not wanting to deal with his whining.

“Fine but let me close the window. I don’t want bugs to come in.”

“Sure, whatever,” Seth studied the telescope as she closed the window and went off to study the dressers.

They were carved elegantly with fairies and unicorns and fiery birds.

She ran her fingers over the intricate patterns, she wished she had something like this at home.

She shook her head, going to look at the wardrobes, it reminded her of the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. She wondered if she stepped in would she find a mystical land on the other side.

“This stupid thing won’t even focus,” Seth complained.

Kendra smiled.

OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO OO

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to reblog and leave a review, they feed my soul.

What did you think of the room? What changes do you think their foreknowledge will bring? What things did you dislike from the original series that you'd like changed?

lmk if you’d like to be tagged.

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

Once

Oh boy, here we go with my drunken ramblings(this is me trying to coherently type for the second time cause i messed up and closed the tab after filling it in, the first time!!) But thanks for the ask Anon<3

my favorite female character

yes yes no prize for guessing it is Regina Mills. I liked her from the start, I tend to like dark, angsty characters anyway so it was a no brainer. She came across as a complete badass, getting shite done, tearing the very fabric of the universe in the name of revenge, oh such a drama queen, my teenage self lived for that , I say as if my adult self doesn't lol, but the thing is her rage spoke to me, her pain, I could feel it, her desire to destroy the people who wronged her felt like vindication to me. But what I related to more was her immense capacity to love, her love for her son was something so raw and pure, it absolutely blew my mind, and her desire to become someone worthy of her son's love, to become a better person, the hero that her son is so enamoured with, it helped to humanize her and helped her character to break free of the confines of the one note aspect of her initial arc. And Lana played it brilliantly imo, she did this character justice, even tho overall it was a shit show. And that is why this character still has such a hold over me, and has become so much more than canon could ever handle. I hope she continues to flourish in fanon, she was too good for the mediocrity that was OUAT anyway.

my favorite male character: 

eh all male characters are so poorly written in that show I don't think I ever care for any of them, other than Hen and even then he was reduced mostly to a plot device(I know so did the rest but hey ho).

my favorite book/season/etc: 

Season 1, the premise was interesting, it attracted me, I wanted to see what exactly was going to happen, how will they play with this fairytale characters trapped in our reality with no memories of their former selves, how will Emma break the curse, will she be able to break it, what will be the complications of undoing it, and they did touch it but failed abysmally to flesh it out and then they started pandering and it became a huge effing gimmick with no substance oh well.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show):

 Despite the stupidity that was in abundance with this show, I did like a couple of episodes from the later seasons but i have to give it to TSSV. As i was a talking about in my previous ask for HP, nostalgia plays a big role, memories u associate with certain things makes it more appealing, and TSSV was THE EPISODE for SQ fans like me, I mean i was here from day 1 shipping remma:P with all my 12 fellow shippers but TSSV kinda made it blow up. I live blogged that episode, I missed my classes for it lmaoo, I remember the hype around the almost kiss and when it actually happened in the show and all of us collectively lost our shite. We were coming from a two weeks break and the anticipation was HIGH AF, it was chaos, the good kind, I was flailing over Emma Swan's arms and getting emotional over Regina's haircut "FLICKY HAIR FEEL" TM, it was so silly but so much fun,it was the best time to be in the fandom, it was just great. Yeah so maybe some other SQ heavy episodes were probably bit more intense but my vote will always go to 1.05, "THE STILL SMALL VOICE" it is.

my favorite cast member: 

Don't have any, I used to like the cast but overtime I became quite indifferent to them so don't have a favourite.

my favorite ship:

 hahahahahah it's sad but it's also funny because like it's been what, 9 years, right?! and Swan Queen is still and always will be my OTP. It makes me so angry that my ship got stuck in such a shitshow, but also like it was such a good ship and I met some of my best mates because of it. And the fact that we still are so weak for those two idiots, I can't believe it and you see that's why I am so effing bitter about it, that they had such a good thing in their hand and they squandered it all, so much potential all wasted UGH!!! To sum it up this is how I feel about it

a character I’d die defending:

 Emma Swan, she never really has many people on her corner, it amazes me cause she was the protagonist and initially she was such a relatable character. She went through so much and she came out of the other side a pretty decent person who actually has a great capacity to forgive and I liked that about her, cause she would not lie down and take it, she would call you out on you bs but she would also be the first person to stand up for you if she believes in you, because she never had anyone doing that for her, so it was important to her that she gets to do that for the people she cared about. And then they destroyed it all and shoehorned her storyline with a self serving bastard and eventually wrote her off her own story like WTF. Emma Swan deserved better. And I for one can never forgive them for robbing and stripping her off her agency and butchering her entire characterization and reducing her to a ridiculous caricature, a shallow husk of her former self, fk them:/.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: 

okay we are going to step in the drama hmm. I don't feel like talking about the wooden mop and deplorable dunderhead because it leaves a bad taste but I really loathe those scenery chewing unnecessary lamps. 

a character I grew to love:

Probably Kathryn yeah she seemed like a good person trapped in a shitty situation who was trying to make the best of it, she was cool.

my anti otp: 

My favourite characters forced into terrible storylines with detestable Love Interests!

This is basically me raging about Once with a smattering of story time ugh I apologize for the ranting but it is what it is!!!

[iamsonyeondone]

heir!svt // boo seungkwan

♥ fluffy!

♥ 3k words

this cutie full of sass and just overflowing love is the heir to his mother’s infamous jeju tangerine company

yeah people might think, oh thats nothing

but hoo boi they’re the no. 1 selling jeju tangerines in korea

because they’re so sweet just like the boo family :O

and sometimes they even import their goods worldwide, ITS THAT GOOD

back to our boo

he may seem pretty eccentric, especially when he’s around seokmin or soonyoung, but he’s also a sweetheart who takes care of his juniors and friends

like he will always remind them of their worth and sometimes get really clingy

but of course his sassy side is one of the many reasons that people love him too!!

they find it funny whenever he goes on a savage strike and literally drag anYone

like he doesnt care who your parents are, he will drag you down to hell

but everyone knows he doesnt mean it half the time, but when he actually does, it will bring shivers down your spine

since his well-loved among the students, he’s literally friends with everyone

especially the younger ones because he like to feel like an older brother and feels proud when his juniors look up to him

this is so soft fk

but he also has his moments where he wants to be taken care of too so he simply just joins his closest group of friends aka the big bunch of thirteen boys

people wonder how the heck they seem so close when all of them could form a class

anyWays, onto you

so theres two groups of people when it comes to seungkwan

1) you’re friends with him or 2) youre not

lucky you, you drop in the first category because if you dont, you’re just a sad outcast who doesnt like the cutest squishy boy

but even if you were friends with him, you werent as close to the extent where you guys hang out often

its the little greetings you guys say to each other in the hallways that keeps this acquaintance going

and its not like youre scared of him or anything

in fact its a little bit more than that

you’ve always admired him for being such a positive light in Pledis High along with his friends

and he’s someone that you aspire to be like - to be fearless and firm in yourself as well as be a pillar of strength for everyone else around

but you’re just that shy student who stammers during presentations because being in the center of attention scares the living heck out of you

he’s practically your aspiration

and its pretty difficult to get close to someone who has 46389392 other people to choose from to hang out with

but thats just you overthinking it because seungkwan has been wondering if he should just ask you to join him for lunch

on the other hand, seungkwan sees you as someone who works diligently behind the scenes

yeah sure you might not be able to lead people in a group project or voice out your opinions

but you do research like a mad scientist and quietly lead the group to an A for a project by leaving notes for improvement in their files

hell yeah he sees you, he sees potential in everyone

but its also because he thinks you’re pretty cute when you get so into the textbook that you’re literally inches away from kissing the pages

but he threatened vernon not to tell you that because he cant just mAke A MoVe

he wants to get to know you more first, about your favourite colour or what you think about when you daydream in class or how your brain manages to store so much information about general facts

most of the random facts you remember is from snapple bottles but no one needs to know that

so yeah maybe boo seungkwan is a little bit Whipped™ for you h a h a a little bit???

like every other day when seungkwan passes by your class, he sees you in your seat scribbling on your notes with furrowed eyebrows and your bottom lip between your teeth

and you just tugged on his heartstrings because how can someone look this good while doing something so,,, normal

and vernon has to snap him out of it

“dUde you’re really not making this crush thing any less subtle,”

and seungkwan nearly wants to hold him in a chokehold and make him regret his words

but when he takes another glance at you, you’re staring back and he’s quickly covering up his slightly blushed cheeks with a little wave

while you shot a shy smile towards him and waved back

and that simple action of yours just saved vernon from being suffocated

which also makes seungkwan say fuck it and ask you to join him for lunch or a study session after school that day

he wasn’t able to catch you at lunch that day, probably because you felt more comfortable in the quiet and cool library of the school

so when he sees you preparing your things to leave the school, he jogs right after you and nearly slams himself into your locker door

“hi! yn right?” he asks you, as if he’s never repeated your name in his mind every time he sees you

“y-yeah, what’s up?” you inquired back, zipping up your backpack and closing the locker door shut

“i was thinking, if you had the time, if you could join me on a study session today,”

and as much as you want to confirm his words, the way he looks at you with the hopeful sparkle in his eyes confirmed itself

boo seungkwan was asking you to hang out, and he chose you out of everyone else

“oh,, im free but i have a curfew so i hope you dont mind if we dont stay out too long,” you mustered every ounce of courage you had as you slung your bag over your shoulder

“great!! i know just the right place for us to study at,” he smiles, taking the spot next to you as he guide the both of you out of school

throughout the walk to the study spot seungkwan had planned, he had been talking about the stories about his friends and the way they have been annoyingly him lately - but of course they did it out of affection

“they say i pout alot when i get angry but i dont pout that much >:((” 

and as he whined about the statement, his lips indeed formed into a big sad pout just as his friends had said

as you tried to hold back the giggle, that is until he brows began going up and down in frustration like a rollercoaster

and that was the trigger 

you burst out laughing, covering your mouth even though it was too late to cover up

while he looked back at you with a confused look - although his chest felt entirely different

the way your eyes turned into crescent moons when you smiled really wide as well as the way your voice sounded harmonious to him

“i’m so sorry,, it’s just that,, your friends are totally right. look at you!!” you attempted to catch your breath while you held your phone to him, the front camera had indeed showed him the pouty face his friends had mentoned

“even you too??? but its not that bad right?” seungkwan looks back at you with pitiful puppy eyes and a part of you melts at the adorable sight

“no its not bad!! its actually pretty cute,” you reassured him, still recovering from your laughing fit

cute?? did you just call boo seungkwan cute??

he’s smile starts to radiate and his cheeks turn bright red from being flustered

but you were too busy chuckling at the accidental selfie he had taken on your phone

before he could even mention the compliment, the both of you had reached the cafe, swinging the door gently as you entered first while he followed behind you

you guys grabbed a spot by the corner, it being one of the best place, as recommended by seungkwan himself

“i’ll order the drinks and you can start studying first,” he shoots you a kind smile before sliding out from his chair

“oh yeah, what would you like?” he inquired, quickly giving him your normal order before he went to the counter

the place was beyond amazing and you werent sure how you havent seen it before when the shop had been placed near the school

the calm and soothing ambient given by the soft jazz playing in the speakers and the bright light illuminating the place was not glaring either

as you began flipping through your notes and your textbooks, seungkwan arrives with a tray of your drinks as well as slice of cake on a plate

“we didn’t order cake but the owner of the shop gave it to us on the house. maybe its because i’ve become a regular,” he chuckled, rubbing the nape of his neck after he had placed the tray to the side

“really?? ah we should thank them,” you turned towards the cashier where a man with circular glasses had a smile plastered on his face

and is that a,,, thumbs up?? did he just mouthed ‘good luck’?

“i think he wished us good luck for our exams since exam season is coming up,” but when you turn back to face seungkwan, he has his hand motioning back and forth across his neck, mouthing something along the lines of “shh”

“you actually know him?” you inquired, catching his attention as he nearly cracked his neck from turning too fast

“o-oh yeah sure! i come here pretty often remember? besides, we should really start studying before its too late,” he laughed nervously, slipping back into his seat and fetching out his required materials

and hour pasts and the pain in your neck starts to grow from facing your textbook from a weird angle, making you stretch in your seat while it captures his attention

“10 minute break?” he asks with a knowing smile as you nodded a little too enthusiastically, immediately regretting your decision while you held your drink in your hands, taking a few sips every so often

“did you get a lot done? i barely got the english practice questions done,” he sighed, taking a sip from his own cup

“yeah i guess. i managed to finish my english assignment too so i can help you if you want!” 

“reALLy?? ugh you’re a life savior yn. but enough of studies for now, LETS DIG IN,” he excitedly exclaims, placing the sliced cake between the both of you and handing a dainty small fork that matched his

your eyes sparkled in delight when you tasted the light whip cream along with the soft and spongy cake, eliciting giggles from seungkwan as your shoulders danced in elation

“you’re too adorable,” seungkwan complimented you on instinct

and its only when you look at him with wide eyes that he realized his action

“a-ah am i too straightforward?? i’ll stop if its uncomfortable,” 

but that compliment had brought a shy smile to your face, tinting the edges of your ears while you shook your head

you were slightly confused then - was your heart racing because you were with someone you admired, or was it because you began to see him in a different light

in a span of a few hours, seungkwan was more than you had assumed and you really meant that he was more than just an embodiment of positivity and sassiness

you werent sure what words you would exactly use to describe him now that you knew him a little more

but it was definitely not in a way where you saw him as an aspiration any longer

and more on seeing that smile on his face

“yn? yN? are you really sure its ok?” and that cute pout is on his face once again

“y-yeAH its totally fine!! we better finish this cake quick, my curfew is in another hour,” you smiled apologetically before taking another bite

“it’s alright, we can study together again if you want to,” 

and minutes just as fast as the time the both of you had spent together

in a split second, you had arrived at your door - although with many times you had reassured him you would be able to walk home alone, seungkwan wouldnt budge an inch

“i guess i’ll see you at school tomorrow?” he questioned, a small shy smile on his face

and as the both of you waved goodbye and went your separate ways, neither of you could wipe the wide smiles on your faces

days turn into months and a year felt like it had passed in a blink of an eye

so many things had happened during that period of time

without a doubt, you had become one of his closest friends (but others think otherwise when they see you two linking pinkies in the hallways)

and as we all know, all 13 boys came as a package, so it was only a matter of time until you met all 13 of them

it was a chaotic meeting, having to meet all of them at once made remembering names wayy more difficult

but after a while of getting to know them, you had grown accustomed to their personalities

like that one time that the noticeboard fell off the wall for some reason and you immediately thought of mingyu

you turn around and mingyu is standing right beside that noticeboard, with his entire body frozen into place

or like that one time seungkwan was telling about a prank that happened to him and asked if jeonghan was in charge of it and he just goes yEAH AND I GOT MY HAIR DYED BLUE FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK

and seungkwan was relieved that his friends had accepted you as a person

because they can get pretty protective of each other #squadgoAls 

but also because he wouldnt know what to do if they didnt like you when his crush on you is mAssive

it has grown to the point where he’s so close to confessing, but he never knows the right time to do so

on the other hand, you had begun to see him more than just a friend

the way he looked so worried when you had a little papercut on your finger

or when he stopped the other boys from teasing you because he feels this weird sense of anger boiling in the pit of his stomach

its called jealousy but boy has a little bit of a problem seeing it as it is

and anytime seungkwan initiates skinship with you, you feel your body heat up but its not to the point where you feel its overwhelming??

its more like this comfortable warmth that you can never get enough of

the kind of feeling you dont get with anyone else

and that was the moment you had finally accepted the fact that it had grown into a full-fledged Crush

either of you is still oblivious to each others feelings but its wayy to obvious to everyone else that theres something else brewing than ‘just friends’

but your thoughts and doubts get the best of you

because what if seungkwan is just this nice to everyone else?? i mean he did help out most of his juniors with their homework

and its normal seeing him hold hands and hug his other friends

and it kind of has your hopes lowered but it didnt hurt having a harmless crush right??

they come and go anyway

but seungkwan’s crush on you hasnt gone ever since his heart raced at the sight of you with the widest smiles

and he wasn’t planning to ignore it either

as per normal, the both of you walked into the cafe the both of you now frequented together, ordering the same drink but a different kind of cake to try every week

its come to the point where you guys have nearly tried every pastry there was in the cafe

but this time, seungkwan doesnt take out his notes or his pencil case with the matching tangerine keychain which you had gotten for him as a gift while your similar keychain hung on your bag

“what’s wrong?? no assignments this week?” you questioned, debating if you should finish yours alone

“well,,, not quite actually. but i felt like we needed a little break from studying since exams are over,” his eyes remain glued to the cup of iced americano in front of him 

which was weird since he would usually shoot you that warm smile you’ve grown to love so much

“is there anything wrong?” you had held onto his arm instinctively, thinking that maybe he just needed a little push to tell you whats on his mind

“i dont want to scare you or anything, so you dont need to answer back if you dont want to,” he rubbed the nape of his neck, playing nervously with the end of his hair

you nod along for him to continue, letting your hand linger on his while his eyes glanced towards the skin contact

“do you,, see me as anything more than a friend- you really dont have to answer it if it makes you feel-”

“yeah, is there something wrong with it?” you answered with a tiny bit of confidence

meanwhile your feet was bouncing under the table and your cheeks had already turned as bright as the red velvet cupcake between the both of you

and you answer shuts him up quickly

and it had been the first time he had looked back into your eyes ever since the both of you had stepped into the cafe

and they still look as sparkling as ever, if not, even more than you have ever seen them

his lips slowly curled into a bashful grin, accompanying his flushed red cheeks

“then i guess its appropriate to ask if,, if you’d be my,,,lover?” the term rolling off his tongue sends shivers down his spine

but when you bring his hand towards your lips, placing a quick peck, he nearly explodes and shortcircuits

“how could i ever say no?”

a/n: im so soft for seungkwan??? like i would squish his cheeks all day if i could o k also as per usual i’ll proofread this tomorrow morning because i can never get as inspired when it isnt 3 in the morning oops

[poeticandvaguelysweet]

Prompt #223 - at the end of it all

ANON: after the events in Fallen Kingdom, Claire heads back to her apartment in San Francisco with Owen without the presence of Maisie, and they finally sit down and have "the talk" and sort out their *obvious* sexual tension ;)

First FK prompt! This does contain mild spoilers. Read at your own risk. 

AO3

AT THE END OF IT ALL

There was something about coming home. Returning to a safe place that settled over her shoulders with comforting relief. There was no telling what would happen across the country in the days to come but Claire didn’t want to focus on that. Not now that she was home, Owen locking the door behind her like he had lived there all along.

It only seemed to make sense that he came back with her. No use sending him back to the half-built cabin out in the Sierra Nevada. She wanted him with her. Close. Where she could be reassured their lives remained intact once again.

‘You can take the first shower.’ He told her, words ringing in her ears like deja vu. They had been here before. Sweaty, dirt drying on their skin as their clothes begged to be burned to save themselves from ever being worn again. He dropped his weight onto the end of her bed, hands hanging between his knees as Claire leant against the door jamb, fingers tapping out a message to Karen.

She switched her phone off, leaving it on top of the dresser until she was ready to deal with whatever calls were bound to come her way. Owen watched her with tired eyes, hands fidgeting. He didn’t want to move. Didn’t want to touch too many of her things and taint them with his messy hands. The bedsheets she could change.

The shower was calling her but there was something in the centre of her stomach pulling in another direction. They had done this. The aftermath. The survival. The clean-up. She didn’t want to get in the shower just yet. Instead, she stalked towards him, climbing into his lap easily as Owen raised his hands to settle against her hips.    

She had kissed him at Lockwood Manor. A parting touch of their lips to encourage him to carry on. It had been a promise. He could leave her side and find Maisie. Claire would remain where he had left her, untouched and in no more pain than the gash, the Indoraptor had left behind. With her lips on his, she promised there would be more, another moment, no end in sight for their story. She hadn’t been sure at the time, not confident that the Indoraptor would turn around and finish her off. She needed him to believe she was safe. They would get out of there in one piece where they could talk the ins and outs of moral fault, where he could finish his cabin and she could kiss him again.

Claire wanted to make good on her promise.

He smiled at her, slow and tired, eyes alight with a fire she hadn’t seen for a long time. Just one look and her stomach coiled, tension bubbling into sweet pressure. He raised a hand to her cheek, sliding her hair past her ear as she leant in, the two of them meeting in the middle with parted mouths.

Owen growled on the first contact, his hand fisting in her hair as he pulled her closer until their chests were touching. She couldn’t help the whimper that fell from her lips, vibrating against his as he grinned, teeth nipping her skin in response.

She had missed this. His body was warm against hers, hands heavy, touch punishing. She felt so right against him, sitting in his lap, solid legs beneath her as his hand on her hip slid up her back to embrace her body. He held her, lips clashing for what felt like an eternity, Claire caught in the bliss of it. She never wanted to leave. Wanted to sit in his arms for as long as time would last. Claire had been the one to tell him to go. Their lives were incompatible. She didn’t want to live as a nomad in a trailer with him, travelling the state and the country. She had missed the touch of his skin on hers, one hand climbing into her shirt, enough to make her reconsider those choices.

If he asked at that moment for Claire to board his trailer and never look back. She would have done so without hesitating.

He pushed Claire’s shirt off her shoulders before his thick fingers rolled her singlet under his hands and tugged it over her head. His lips were rough against her chest, the scratch of his stubble not unfamiliar. She missed that feeling, the course irritation that did nothing but make her skin flare and yet she hardly ever complained. It was Owen. Itchy and irritating, making her skin and making it his own. He pushed a hand through the bottom of her bra, fingers squeezing her breast as her hiss turned into a moan the second he undid the clasp at her back and managed to nudge his nose against the breast he wasn’t already stroking.

Owen was always so rough. Bites and tugs, nips and scratches. His teeth grazed her nipple, cheeks splitting into a grin at her gasp, gleefully leaning into the hold Claire had on his hair. Owen leant into her, one hand sliding down her leg as his fingers fiddled with the buckles of her boots.

She sighed. That man. Always doing two things at once. His hand on her breast moved to her ass, squeezing as he steadied himself. He still had his mouth focused on one task, tongue swirling on her skin as the buckles came free. Touch moved, mouth scattering kisses across his chest as he nipped at her other breast, his hand on her ass trading anchor with the other as he undid her second shoe.

‘I need you.’ She whimpered against him, both hands in his hair as she pulled his head back, meeting his lust filled eyes with a small nod. It wasn’t like he was going to protest, she was rocking in her lap, making greedy little noises that were driving him wild. It had just been a little while since he last had her and Owen wanted to savour the moment in case it never happened again.

Surely, she would come to her senses after. Make some apology and walk out. She had done it before. After they broke up. Sought him out in the middle of the night, a little tipsy and missing him. He knew it shouldn’t have happened but they did it anyway, shame sliding into his stomach the second she collected her clothes and made an awkward exit from his trailer.

He wasn’t going to stop now either.

Instead, Owen shuffled back, kicking his boots off as he fell flat on his back, Claire straddling his hips her fingers already tugging on the hem of his henley. It was off in a second, Owen sitting up to help her pull it off. He rolled them, taking what little leverage he had to put Claire on her back in the centre of her bed. Her hands trailed up his sides as he kept his arms wrapped around her back, pulling her skin flush with his as he felt her chest heaving.

She nipped at his chin, his neck, his ear while her hips rolled up into his, trying to find the friction she so desperately needed. He was lost in the feel of her skin, so soft under his hands like he had forgotten what she felt like.

When she whined he remembered his place, Owen undoing the button of her pants before he pushed them down her hips underwear and all. He wanted to rediscover her, find his favourite places and rebrand them. He wanted her bruised and aching, unable to get up and out of that bed for days. He wanted her there. He wanted her to remember why they worked so well in the first place and why they could never seem to scrub the other from their minds.

They were both shed of their pants when Claire took control, pushing Owen onto his back once again as she reigned supreme above him. He liked it when she was like that, the dominant one, wanting to set the pace and keep control. He was pretty sure she just liked being on top because he was forced to watch her. Regardless, Owen wasn’t complaining.

Instead, he let her rock, their bodies becoming one again as her hands cupped his face and her lips met his. He did nothing but love her, chest cracking open while their lips lingered. He wanted to give her everything, succumb to every need. Never was he letting her go again. No matter the consequences he would have to face, Owen was sticking by her side.

It wasn’t just the sex. Something about her skin on his that made him feel alive in more ways than he had ever felt. It scared the shit out of him. How intensely he felt for her. How willing he was to leave his life behind now that he knew what a life without Claire Dearing felt like. In the least, he would try to convince her to move to the cabin. The nomadic life was gone.

‘Live with me.’ The words fell out, slipping past a groan as her body contracted around his. He bucked into her, unable to control the action as his words sat thick in his throat. The cabin was months off but he could compromise. He could stay with her until it was done. Now more than ever, they needed out of the pandemonium.

He flipped them, Claire beneath his body weight as he pulled his touch away from hers revelling in the whimper she gave him. ‘Owen,’ She whined, trying to reach for him again only to have him pull away.

‘The cabin. Live out there with me.’ He punctuated with a kiss on her cheek, his eyes wide with emotion, unsure if he could handle rejection at that moment. When Claire nodded he felt his chest collapse, the worry holding it together finally breaking away as he slid back into her. His movements were a little too sharp, Claire hissing as her back arched, mouth poised open.

[…]

‘Remind me again why we stopped doing that?’ Owen sighed, hand stroking her hair simply because he could. It didn’t smell as good as it had but he wasn’t complaining now that she was in his arms again, heart still trying to settle after their return to the saddle.

Claire shifted, moving against his side as she wrapped her arm over his waist. ‘You wouldn’t let me drive your van.’

He grunted. ‘Why do you want to drive it so much anyway?’

‘It’d be fun.’ She shrugged, cheek pressed against his chest, feeling the movement of his chuckle.

‘You didn’t want to live in it, why would you want to drive it?’ He could remember that fight. She wanted something stable, something long term not a van on the side of the road chasing sunsets. Claire lasted the whole of two weeks before that lifestyle drove her mad.

‘I didn’t want to live in it full time.’ She corrected, finger poking him in the chest.

Owen squeezed her. ‘It’s why I started building the cabin.’

‘You started building that three months after I left.’ Gray told her Owen was travelling, had been her eyes and ears on the stray man off in the wilderness leading the life he wanted. It was Gray who told her Owen was buying land in the Sierra Nevada mountains long before Owen worked up the courage to call her. ‘What was the plan. Build Claire home, Claire come back.’ She made her voice deeper to mock the Neanderthals and the thought processes in her brain.

He scrubbed at the back of his head, hand lifting from her hip to do so. ‘I mean, yeah. I thought so.’ It wasn’t like Claire could play entirely innocent in this game. She had been the one to come back to him. More than once. Lonely nights, her voice on the other end of the phone keening his name on small whimpers or showing up suddenly all too happy with the trailer mattress or a blanket under the stars. She never really gave him the opinion that things were completely open. More like an open door for her to come and go as she pleased.

‘It probably would have worked.’ She told him. Owen already knew that. He wouldn’t have started if he thought otherwise. ‘I’m not living out there in your trailer.’ Claire told him and Owen nodded. He didn’t expect that. He stayed still, surrounding himself in the feeling of her finger on his chest, tracing lines across the short hairs there. ‘I’ll come back when it’s finished though. I mean, I’m not going anywhere now. Just not living out there in a trailer. But, when it’s finished. I’ll live with you.’

‘You gotta put some work into it.’ He told her, hand squeezing at her hip with a small laugh.

Claire groaned, face buried against his chest, lungs taking a deep breath in. They still really needed to shower but he smelt like Owen, lazy mornings and hard work regardless of the sweat on his skin and a faint undertone of salt water that was making her chest seize. ‘There’s always a hidden condition with you.’ She laughed.

‘Aye, you gotta earn your keep.’ It was how he was raised. If Claire wanted to call his cabin home if she was willing to accept it now. He would want her help. Not in manual labour but smaller decisions. Flooring. Tiles. What kind of paint, if any, did she want on the walls. He wanted it to be hers perfectly as much as it was his. He didn’t know much about that shit. That was her job. Always making him look better than he was.

‘I think I can accept that.’ She told him, lifting her head to peck his cheeks. He didn’t miss the way she looked completely exhausted. Like the weight of the world was still sitting on her shoulders. She didn’t press that button but Owen could sense the emotional weight above her regardless. ‘Do you think Maisie will be alright?’ She asked him, not able to look him in the eye. The worry was there, chewing at her bottom lip. The girl had nothing left.

Owen shrugged. ‘Time will tell. You gave her your number if she ever needed anything.’

‘We should have done more. Should have brought her home.’ She tried to sit up but Owen only held her down, encouraging her head to his chest again, trying in some small way to soothe her.

‘She’s not that far away.’ But she was. It was a few hours outside of the city. Not something Claire would want to do every day. She mourned for the girl and all her loses, just wished that there was more they could have done for her. Claire had never considered herself maternal but turning away from Maisie and walking out of Lockwood Manor had been one of the hardest things she had ever done.

Claire nodded. ‘She needs help. She holds Lockwood’s name. Scrutiny is going to befall that house because of what happened. She needs more than Iris to guide her. Someone who knows dinosaurs wants the same things she wants. Maybe we can round them up again … get them to the sanctuary?’ Owen could practically see the gears rotating from the top of her head. She was in too many places at once, trying to fix everything, trying to help, change her mistakes before things got worse.

‘She needs you.’ He ended her thoughts. Owen knew it wasn’t right tearing Claire away from that place and away from the girl. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and dinosaurs as he could. He hadn’t stopped to think what Claire wanted away from her exhausted thoughts. He took advantage of her tired state and moved her out of there before thinking twice.

‘We need to shower.’ She told him, hand tapping his chest.

They needed to get cleaned up. They needed to sleep. She needed to think clearly before making any decisions. Needed an idea before she proposed to help Maisie and the Lockwood foundation.  

[nickxzo]

        “A Blessing and a love story of the writer and the athlete”

WARNING: 

THIS IS NOT A SHORT STORY! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

I can't remember when, but I can exactly remember where and how it all started:

Throwback when I'm still in the first grade in high school (I'm not going to start on the first day of class when I entered the classroomーrunning lateーbecause that's a Wattpad thing). I'm going to start when I saw you standing in front of the blackboard playing 'pula puti' in our science time. Our teacher asked us to find a partner to be able to play the game, and so we did. You had been paired by another girl, while I'm with my old friend (a friend I met when I'm still in my elementary stage).

So there... all of us lost the game and returned to our own chairs. You and your partner were the last one to play the game, and you won.

I was thinking that time, "Why are you like that?" You're like an 'APA' that cannot speak a single word; however, you speak through your smile. You're smiling all the timeーall the damn time.

I don't hate the smile. Well, I don't even hate a single thing about you that time, not a single thing. I don't know you so why would I hate you?

A little fast forward on the same day, the teacher asked us to introduce ourselves one by one to get to know each other with the new students, and you're one of them. I also assumed that day that you liked me since you were looking at me while I was introducing myself. You looked straight to my face like a kid asking for a candy (assumera ko).

[I was not thinking about you the whole day (duh dili gyud kita kilala)].

The seating arrangement came on the second day! We're not seatmates [duh]. It's not a telenovela that we will be sitting next to each other and talk with each other and we fell in love (dili ni fantasy. We live in reality!!).

Was I sitting next to your guy friend or best friend? Anyway, I can say we became friends as a seatmate. We talked and he let me borrowed his phone to play a game. He was funny, and weeks later I just woke up and realized I liked your best friend. Yes, your best friend. It wasn't that bad.

BUT that feeling did not last long.

Months later I became friends with your friends. They're not hard to be with. All of you were fun actually. I never felt 'nababastos' when I'm with all of you. In fact, all of you treated me like I'm welcome (even though there are times that a thought or two will come into your minds that I'm not really welcome because I'm the only girl in your circle, but at least you guys treated me the opposite).

First is from being friends with your squad, and second is being friends with you. I started to start a conversation with you. I was the first one to open up the conversation (mahiya ka! Babae pa gyud nag first move. Ew). That was the first night of our conversation. It was epic because after saying 'Hi' I asked for your phone number. Heh! (Kahiya. Puta).

My actions looked and seem to be desperate; but in my defense, I don't like you that night, and I don't have a topic to pull out since were not very close in person, and you treated me as your enemy.

I was shocked when my friend asked you what am I to you, and you answered that I'm your enemy (wala gyud ko mali but ganun?).

You barely talked to me in person, but it's the opposite when it comes to chatting. We're like best friends. We also called each other 'bes'. And those days, you're calling me the call sign we gave to each other. That was the day I finally admitted to myself that I already liked you. "I like this guy," I said to myself.

There comes a point when me and my friends were stalking you and your friends in the computer shop. That was the ramden days. The days when you caught us and will give you the most stupid excuses to make. "Photocopy" a fucking photocopy. We spent our remaining money for our excuse (it was embarrassing).

BUT that's not the first time that you caught me stalking you. There's this time when we followed you all your way to lopues and the epic part is when we lost sight of you, and we need to be separated just to find you. AND I was the one who found you. I'm out of words to say when you smiled at me; yet, the only words that came out is asking you if you saw my friends. Like fak! Of course, you answered No. That was a very short talk, but I'm actually happy that I saw that cute face of yours.

We chat and chat. Changing nicknames and changing colors and emoji was not uso that day. We have the old version of the messenger in OUR days. I called it OUR DAYS because it's just between you and me. Every day, every night, we talked to each other. It's like a routine for me to talk you, and you being part of my day.

I was happy. All the dramas we share and funny moments we talked was hiding inside the private message. It will be forever a secret that only you and I knew.

I can be who I am. I am already who I am but what I mean is the Grammar Nazi part of me. You can tolerate the 'fk wrong grammar' in my sentences and you're correcting me gently, making sure I won't get offended. And you did not stop talking to me when you knew I like you.

But it's not all about happiness we talked here. We will also talk about the days and events that made us sad. The ending came. I never thought the ending will go on our way. (Dili pa kita may ending na. Sad katama)

Whole summer. Whole damn summer we're not chatting or anything. I was back to my 'shy type' self, and many girls were in your circle and I don't know how to fit in. I can't fit in. There's a bunch of Milk Fish in your ocean that I can't fit in because I'm just a Dory. I don't know where to place myself. So I let it be. I must keep quiet because I don't have the right to get jealous. WALANG TAYO!

And fast forward... second grade! Dili ta classmate! Again dili ni fantasy! I moved to another section just to be with my friend that I also regretted. You met another girl! Another jealousy! Another walang karapatan!

Both of you hang out with each other. I can't say "always" cause again, we are not classmates. But, damn, whenever I saw you with her, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. There's this time when I'm about to go out from my classroom, I saw you and her running in the hallway. So, I changed my mind. (Para og bata dili kamo bagay!!!)

Weeks later, she and I became friends. She told me that you always ask her to tie your hair. Like I was thinking that I could that also but okay, you treat me as a stranger and enemy so how can I do that?

I was jealous of her, and I shut my mouth to death and started crying because of my fucking jealousy.

But God has mercy that He gave me another chance to confess to you. That was my second confession. I did not regret I did it. I don't want to keep this to myself. I just want to free myself from this painful feelings of mine. It really sucks seeing you with another girl and I have no right to even rant.

But, you said this, "I like you". I don't know if I should be happy or happy out of confusion. But you treat me the opposite way I express my 'like' so I think yours (feelings) did not last long while I'm here suffering from my unending feelings for you. And you're there chit-chatting with another girls.

And I had admitted that I already love you. I could have let someone love me but all I did was push them away and chose to be an example of a fool for waiting for you.

I didn't do anything at all. Until the third grade came. All of our friends were telling me that you liked me, but I knew that already because you told me that. However, I didn't believe what you said, because you stopped talking to me and all the rumors came that you have the love of your life. Your girlfriend! Those days I told myself that I'm slowly losing the feelings I have. I know I was lying. I know I was lying because I told myself that I don't have feelings for you BUT I was stalking YOUR girl and I got jealous AGAIN!

Despite all the rumors, I chose to be mature enough to accept the fact that I'm just a fangirl of a ping-pong player. I'm just one of the crowds cheering for you. I chose to be mature enough to be just a friend. Finally, we became friendsーreal friends. This time, we talk in person. We became close, eventually. But I know my limits. I draw a line between us.

I admit that I'm still jealous of the way she makes you smile. Even when I'm at your side, you were talking to another girl on your phone. I'm not blind, I could see it through your smile, I could see it in your eyes.

Then again, you were the one who broke down the walls I built around myself to protect me from all the pain of jealousy I could possibly receive. You told me it was nothing, you told me she's just a friend. Then again I asked myself: 'Why are you telling me this?'

You told me you like me. I must not confess, but I'm stupid enough so I did. You let me stalk the girl, you let me know her. And that day I believed everything. I get to know the girl, and your friends were telling me the truth. When you told me you like me, you did treat me like you really like me.

This time the connection between us did not break. We stayed like that until our last year in high school came. A little awkward tbh. I thought my feelings are really gone. But you did not leave my thoughts, you were still here.

I already prayed to Him, "Lord, push na natin love life ko" but He didn't answer that directly. He made me wait for months. And this time you were the one who did the confession first, and I confessed to you as well, my fourth confession.

And the day me and my family traveled out of town, you were here and I was there. Through the phone, you asked me to be your girl. I don't know how to answer 'Yes' directly so I told you 'Ikaw bahala' that sucks. But you told me I should be the one answering that. So, I said it.

I never imagined this day would ever come. I never imagined I'll be yours. I never imagined you'll be mine.

It's funny when we talked about the past. You told me that you treat me differently than the other girls because of you were shy. You told me that you treat me as your enemy because you can't treat the one you love as a friend. That makes sense. You told me everything. You also told me that you already liked me since we were in first grade (funny). You also apologized for what you did back then.

It was worth it. We made it. Now you did everything just to keep me. Now you gave me the love you promise me to have. You made me feel that freedom is being with you, that home is when I'm between your arms, and love when you are with meーin my whole life.

patience is really the key to our love life, and answered prayers are the perfect blessings you can have. And you are my blessing. I'm really blessed to have you.

all the "oy tago" are worth it. All the "i'm jealous" are gone. The only left are the memories and the love we have now. The whole 4 years, I waitedーwe waited. It was all worth itーwe made it worth the wait.

-Nickxzo, Wattpad