#it's 3am and i should shut up lol

[tea-stained]

hiiii! it's my first time doing this ehehehhehh i don't know what i'm doing c:

tysm, @matching-dresses!!! you're amazing!!!

Last song: Operation by Three Days Grace

Favourite colour: PURPLE!!!!!! [all shades. i go crazy for purple] also crimson and smoky pink. and idk if that counts as a colour but glitter/unicorn skin.

Sweet/savoury/spicy: spicy. spicy all the goddamn way. please put me in as much pain as humanely possible. or inhumanely, that's fine by me, too.

Currently watching: Dunegon Meshi! GO WATCH IT ASAP IT'S SO GOOD AHSIXGSHIDHDJ [i finished episode 4 and i feel shit going down very soon]

Relationship status: I am in one, yes! Very happy to finally have someone who is capable of keeping me in check!!

Current obsession: so many. but most notably, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure [especially Cioccolata and Secco, naturally], Naruto [especially Hidan and Kakuzu, naturally], death, meat, tea, my guitar and re-learning life!

@kimi-marshmallow @pupucino @giogiogundam @samaeljigoku @mrsbrandoxxx @creepcos @samrae24 @fish-freak-requiem @bubbly-bubs

and lot other of people who i wanted to tag but have seen tagged already eeeeeeh >n< but i hope they know that i really really like them and would love to know more about them without spamming their inbox!

please, don't feel pressured to do this, i'm just. just giving the option. it's like getting bapped with a cat paw. a. a boop... ;u;

Nine people i'd like to get to know better:

Tagged by: @bell-of-indecision, thank you so much for tagging me <3

Last Song: Gmfu by Odetari,6arelyhuman

Favourite colour: Dark red, violet, pink

Currently watching: Death note, ep6

Spicy/Savoury/Sweet: Spicy

Relationship status: Single

Current Obsession: Mbti types and cognitive functions.

Tagging: @somin-yin @a-cloud-for-dreams @axepen @hinsaa-paramo-dharma @basic-bitch-alkali @rhysaka @blackknight-100 @squishywizardd @reykalot

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Ugh. The urge to ask ppl for art requests vs the pile of ideas that I plan to draw at some point. There r so many things to draw 😭

[louloulemons-posts]

Secret Kisses

Steve Harrington X Fem!Henderson!Reader

Summary : You and Steve are secretly dating, here are 3 times you were almost caught and the 1 time you were.

Word Count : 1.2k

Warnings : Not proofread, 3am writing, swears, pet names, FLUFFY, kisses, suggestive at parts, fem reader, no use of Y/N, Steve and reader just want to make out lol.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

- First time : Driving you home and nobody’s in

You’d been hanging out at Eddies trailer, watching some horror movies and smoking a bit with your friends.

Giving the metal head a hug and waving goodbye Steve drove you and Robin home.

“See you guy’s tomorrow,” she said, kissing your cheek from the backseat and climbing out.

“Let’s get you home,” Steve smiled, taking your hand in his. “Thank you for driving me.”

“Couldn’t leave my girl stranded could I? Or worse, Eddie could’ve drove you home in his death trap!”

“Eddie can drive,” you laughed.

“Sure, doesn’t mean the vans safe.”

“You worry too much,” you sighed, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

“Just want you to be safe.” The drive was quick and quiet, one of your favourite tapes of Steve’s playing. Steve pulled up to your house, no lights on inside.

“Tonight was fun,” you spoke, smiling.

“It was, we do need a proper date night though. Maybe the movies?” he asked.

“That sounds good, I’ll trust your taste in movies.” He leaned over the console to kiss you, leaning in softly.

You lips almost touched when you heard a foggy voice, “Are you coming in or not?” Dustin.

Pulling away from Steve you sighed, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Y-yeah, goodnight.”

“Night,” you smiled, climbing out the car and headed over to your brother.

“Have you been smoking?!” he exclaimed.

“Shut up!” you slammed your hand over his mouth, shoving him in the house. “Why are you sitting in the dark?” Waving at Steve before heading in yourself.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

- Second time : Movie dates, sat in the dark, perfect right?

Sat in the movie theatre side by side, fingers linked, waiting for the lights to dim. You’d decided to see The Breakfast Club, after Nancy had said it was really good.

“You’re going to run out of popcorn and the movie hasn’t even started yet,” you chuckled at Steve. “It’s good!” he defended.

“Lies, but either way you’ll be grumpy 15 minutes in because you have nothing to snack on.”

“That’s why I got you snacks my love.”

“What so you can steal them?”

“Exactly that.”

“And what if I said no?”

“Well I’m sure I could persuade you..”

“Oh yeah?” He leaned closer to you, lips touching, “Yeah.” He softly pressed his lips to yours when familiar voices came.

“Okay so G6 and G7 El,” Max Mayfield spoke. “Shit,” Steve whined. The seats right in front of you. “Shit,” you repeated.

Walking down to their seats El spotted you, smiling, “Hi guys!”

“Hey,” you smiled back, nudging Steve.

“Hi,” he let out a pained grin.

“Just you two?” Max asked.

“Oh yeah, had to drag Steve with me. Nobody else would come with,” you shrugged.

“Hm, seems like Robins type of film. Eddie thought … not so much,” the redhead hummed. “Yeah exactly.”

“Should have come with us,” El said softly.

“If I’d have know you wanted to see it I would’ve, could’ve made a girls night out of it,” you smiled at her. Always having had a special place in your heart for that girl.

The lights dimmed, “Well we’ll see you after the movie,” Steve said. The pair sat down facing forward. “Guess we can’t make out now,” he sighed.

“You’re literally a horny teen.”

“Well I’m a teen and you’re hot so … I’m always horny.”

“Shush,” you laughed, punching him lightly.

“Maybe you can stay at my place?”

“Hm, if you’re lucky.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

- Third time : Lunch breaks aren’t easy either.

It was Steve’s lunch break, just him on today as it was a slow Monday. He shut the door and turned the sign to close, smiling at you who’d brought him food.

Pushing you into the back room, hands on your waist, your own tangling in his hair. Lipgloss transferring onto his own lips, “Stevie,” you giggled into his mouth.

“Missed you … so much,” he spoke between kisses. “Saw me yesterday.”

“Not enough!” Pulling you as close as he could, your legs wrapped around his waist and he lifted you into a filing cabinet.

“So. Fucking. Perfect,” he kissed and kissed and kissed. His hands played with the bottom of your skirt, pulling away. Lips swollen and hair messy.

“We’ve got 20 minutes Stevie.”

“That’s plenty of time to do what I need to do to you,” he smirked, lowering himself.

The bell on the door jingled, “Steve!”

“I’m gonna kill your brother.”

“Oh I’ll help.” Tidying himself up he left the back room, you jumping down from the cabinet.

“Henderson, thought you were smart enough to know what the word closed means.”

“Ha you’re real funny. I was just wondering if you’ve seen my sister?”

Steve’s heart went to his throat and you panicked trying to keep your breathing quiet. “Nope, why?”

“Well I saw her car outside and I thought maybe we could head home together,” he explained, “She might be getting some groceries though.”

“Mhm, maybe. If she stops by I’ll tell her you’re looking for her.”

“Great, thanks man.” You heard the bell ring again, signalling his exit.

Walking out of the back room you sighed. “Your brothers looking for you,” he teased.

“Oh you don’t say?” Kissing the boys cheek, “I should probably go.”

He whined, “Steve if he catches us-“

“I know I know. Okay go, but next time something like that happens I’m not stopping.”

“I’ll take your word for that.” Pecking his mouth you headed out the door to find you shit head of a brother.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

- The time you’re found out

You heard soft knock on your window. Not wanting to turn the light on in fear your headache would get worse, you walked over.

Pulling back the curtains, you saw a familiar face. You pulled up the window and stepped back, “What are you doing here?” you asked.

Steve climbed in (fell in) to your room, “Robin told me you weren’t very well, couldn’t really call cause you know,” he motioned to the door.

“Thought I’d come check on my girl, brought you some gatorade and snacks.”

“You, Steve Harrington, are the sweetest boy I’ve ever met.” Pecking his nose, you walked back to your bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Migraine.”

“Oh baby I’m sorry. Have you taken anything?”

“Took some more tablets not too long ago, they should kick in soon.”

He sat down next to you, stoking hair gently. “Do you want me to go, leave you in peace?”

“Could you stay?”

“Course. No place I’d rather be.”

Taking off his shoes, jacket and jeans he climbed in beside you. “Come lay on me baby,” he whispered. Resting your head on his chest, you hummed, his warmth was so nice.

Running his fingers up and down your back you were quickly lulled to sleep.

Stirring awake to a knocking sound, “Yeah?” you said voice croaking, thick with sleep. Steve also woke up, giving you a sleepy smile.

“Mom said do you want breakfast, she’s made waffles,” Dustin spoke.

“Oh yeah sure, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Does Steve want any?” He asked through the door.

You looked at the boy, both of you wide eyed. “Hello? Does he want any?” your brother repeated.

“Oh um sure if she’s got any spare,” Steve said. Hearing you brother grumble as he walked away, you put your head back on his chest.

“Well he knows.”

“Yeah.”

“I can do this now then,” Steve smirked, kissing you square on the mouth.

“Hm, yes Mr Harrington you can.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

A/N : I wanted to do some fics with other characters soon, they don’t have to just be Stranger Things characters, I’m part of many many fandoms. So if there’s any other characters you’d like to see, let me know! 🤍

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

[moonkake-143]

Memories of You | S.H.

A Steve Harrington x fem!reader oneshot

Word Count: 1.3k

Summery: Steve remembers how he fell in love with you and finally knows what love really is.

This isn't edited like at all but I wrote it the other night at like 3am and idk I felt like sharing. It's something I needed to write and I hope you all like it! Steve might be ooc but oh well lol

Steve Harrington was never observant, but he only was when it came to you. You met him in high school. He saw you in English class hidden behind a book, nose crinkled and eyes wide in awe at the words on the page. He smelled the sun on your skin as he passed you by as you talked with a long haired boy. But he was with Nancy, his eyes casted away from you and onto her with pure adoration. Or was it? Steve wasn’t sure how he felt with her, just that it felt right and safe. Then one day you ran into him in the halls, it was his fault of course. He was spacing out and turned a corner and there you were. His large frame had knocked you down and he was quick to help you. 

“Watch where you’re- oh it’s you…” 

Your voice dripped like honey in his ears and he swore he felt his heart pounding out of his chest. Felt the sweetness on his tongue but this was not the time for that. 

“You’ve heard of me?” 

He tried to be suave, tried to channel his long dead King Steve persona. But to no avail he cringed inside and apologized. 

“It’s hard not to hear of you but it’s alright I should have been careful.” 

You looked away from him and to the ground. You didn’t want him to perceive you, didn’t want problems with his friends. So you quickly gathered your stuff and scurried away like a terrified mouse. 

Steve simply stared at you before apologizing again. He tried to hide his awkwardness with a smile but the bell rang and you were lost to the sea of bodies along the halls. 

-

Steve remembers the day you kissed him. You were yelling at him about something he doesn’t remember. Maybe about the kids, school work, hell his parents? He can’t remember, all he can picture from that day is the way you grabbed him by the collar to shut him up with a kiss. A stark contrast to the shyness he was used to. He was stunned at first, his mind going blank, your lips the only thing he could imagine. They were soft and you tasted sweet, like strawberry chapstick. He remembers how wide you smiled after he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you to kiss him again. How he didn’t want to stop kissing you, his lips kissing every inch of your face. You giggled and he swore the world disappeared. With Nancy he felt it was right.

But with you it was perfect, it was everything. 

-

Steve remembers the first “I love you” it was after he escaped the Russians. He was so badly beat up but he could only think about seeing you again. He was terrified to think he would die without ever telling you, hoping and praying that you were alright. That you were as far away from this as possible. Once the mind flayer was vanquished he ran straight to you. You were tired and looked a mess, tears stained your cheeks as you ran into his embrace. He held you tight, hoisting you from the ground like nothing. You were sobbing then and he couldn’t stop himself from crying with you. His voice fractured as he spoke.

“I didn’t know if I would see you again, I thought they were gonna kill me down there. But I just couldn’t let them get me knowing I had to come back to say I love you. God I love you so much sweetheart. You mean the world to me, I’ll fight monsters and Russians all over again if it meant I could kiss you one last time.” 

“Steve you idiot, I love you too. Fuck, you could have died! I love you so fucking much don’t ever fight anything without me next to you okay?” 

“Yes dear I am an idiot but I’m your idiot.” 

“Shut up and kiss me you sap.” 

And Steve did just that. 

-

Steve remembers saying “I do”. It was a nice summer day and the ceremony was small. It was attended by all of your friends and family. Robin was your “maid of honor” of course and she wore a suit because it’s Robin. Dustin was Steve’s best man because of course he was. His parents didn’t show, which was for the best he thought. His father never cared for you and his mother didn’t really try to sway him. But he didn’t care this was his day with you. 

He stood at the end of the alter with his suit and tie and his hair slicked back. He was so nervous, so clammy and when the music started and he saw you walking down with Hopper, he was stunned. You were perfect, beyond perfect that he couldn’t help but shed tears. Everyone awed and you smiled behind the veil. He sniffled when Hopper pat his back and handed you to him. Slowly he pulled up the veil and he swore he saw the stars in your eyes. 

“You’re so beautiful…” 

“And you’re so handsome…” 

Once the music settled and the crowd settled they began the ceremony. When asked for vows you pulled out a piece of paper and blew on it as faux dust spread. Everyone laughed and you giggled and he was laughing. You cleared your throat and he smiled bright. 

“Steven Harrington, yes I’m using your government name. We met when you mowed me down in the hallway in high school. But I’ll be honest to say that before that I had always kept an eye on you. You intrigued me, like a puzzle I couldn’t solve. However when I got to know you I realized that you weren’t a puzzle to be solved. But someone to be loved and cherished. You are an amazing man, you’re kind hearted, courageous and have amazing hair- but to me you are all those things and more. You are not a perfect man, nor am I a perfect woman but you are everything. I love you so much, that I want to give you everything because you deserve it, and I hope I can give that to you. Because you are my everything. Thank you for smacking into me in the hallway because I wouldn’t have gotten to marry my best friend.” 

You were shaking the entire time, he could tell. Your eyes were full of tears but you tried to keep them back to keep from ruining the makeup. You took a breath and looked up at him when you finished. When it was his turn he didn’t bother to pull out a paper because he knew exactly what to say.

“My darling sweetheart, I was always observant when it came to you. I noticed you in English class first, where you were hidden behind a book. Your nose would scrunch up and you would have wide eyes when you read the words. When you talked with your friends I would walk by only to smell the sun on your skin and feel like I was home. I was thinking about you that day we met. How you confused me, how you made me feel things I never felt before. How much I wanted to know your heart and your mind. You are a firecracker of a woman, you yelled at me all the time. But I deserved it to be fair. But you are kind, courageous and have the best smile I have ever seen in my entire life. My love for you can not be determined by a number because the number is so massive that it’s inconceivable. You were my everything before I was yours. I loved you before you kissed me that night we fought over something small. I love you now and I’ll love you until the world crumbles and turns to ash and there's nothing but rock. I want to give you the world and more because you deserve it. Thank you for being alive, for dealing with me. Thank you for giving me a chance when I didn’t deserve it. I love you so much.” 

Steve remembers kissing you surrounded by festive cheer and he finally knows what love is.

[breakyourrxles]

『paradise lost』 ; 07

❝ nobody has to know ❞  

↳ an old acquaintance comes back around at a time when you’re even more in relationship limbo than usual, you know your actions will have consequences should they ever be found out, but maybe the risk is worth the reward.

⎯ ୨previous୧ ⎯  ○  ⎯ ୨series mlist୧ ⎯ ○ ⎯ ୨next୧ ⎯

『 pairing 』 : park seonghwa x fem!reader

『 genre 』 : romance, angst, explicit sexual content.

『 rating 』 : mature

『 word count 』 : 9.2k

『 warnings 』 : really poor decision making probably, rough sex, consensually recorded sexual acts, oral sex (m), penetrative sex, dirty talking etc they are pretty emotionally careless with one another, horror scene of a twist ending (angst)

“hey lol”

When the text comes through, past the jarring initial response of hopefulness and wishful thinking of who it could be, your next immediate reaction is to hide the screen...turn it the other way, from potentially prying, curious eyes on the other side of the bed.

The problem with that being: you are alone, in your own apartment, not at Hongjoong's as was once common place.

Rolling over in bed and lying on your back, still staring at the screen — reading the time, 2:45am, you hate the fact that you're awake, struggling to sleep these past few nights now on your own, but even more than that, why was he texting you this late, and after so long.

Realistically, it hadn't been that long since your first contact with the man, though. A year or so back at a mutual friend’s graduation party — the tall, pretty guy with the long black hair in the front, sides and back shaven short — you recall being wholly unsurprised when he tells you that he does some modeling, far more so when he tells you that he's pre-med. Not that a gorgeous man can't be both, of course.

Hitting it off, you exchanged numbers and texted occasionally, but with busy schedules (mostly on his end) it was next to impossible to meet up, and as a result, texting would die off as well.

You hadn't expected to hear from him again; ever, really.

>you: don't think I know you well enough for you to be booty call texting me at 3am

A playful response back, but also testing his motives. The typing bubble pops up almost immediately, and a reply comes through just as quickly.

>Seonghwa: very funny. what a warm welcome. 'wow Seonghwa so great to hear from you it's been so long!' awww thanks, it's nice to hear from you, too.

You roll your eyes at the conversation he begins having with himself, already beginning to type back to him.

>you: men usually text this late for one thing, you know that as well as I do.

>Seonghwa: well I hope that 'thing' is picking out an outfit for a thing I have coming up because that's actually what i'm texting you for. I need your assistance tomorrow.

>you: tomorrow? thanks for the heads up dude...what if I have stuff going on?

>Seonghwa: i'm not above begging. I just got back in town like 45 minutes ago okay i'm working with the best that i've got. we can use the time to catch up. plsplspls.

Rolling your eyes again, you confirm a time and a place with him, receiving numerous different heart and smiley emojis back in response before shutting your phone off and setting it back down on the empty bed space next to you.

Being back in your own place feeling so foreign to you now.

Your mind wanders back to Hongjoong and what it is that he could possibly be up to at this time of night; no doubt out with friends, drinking, smoking, partying — dealing with his emotions the one way he knows best — not. Almost certainly drunk past the point of making good choices and quite probably bringing someone back to the very place you had made yourself so comfortable only days ago.

Screwing your eyes shut tightly, you try to force back the mental image of exactly how your best friend likes to deal with his problems — a couple of stiff drinks and being over, or under, someone else.

Grabbing your phone again, you shuffle through your texting app to bring back up your conversation with Hongjoong, last message sent four days ago — four days since that conversation in his kitchen, him disappearing off to who knows where in a huff after the fact and you texting him that you're taking some of your things and spending some time back at your place.

With no response from him, of course.

“hey lol”

You chuckle at yourself lightly at the fact that you're really considering sending him the same thoughtless text that Seonghwa had just sent you minutes ago, before backspacing it all entirely and locking your phone again, gently tossing it off and towards your side in a hearty exhale of desperation, exasperation...

Missing him.

And of course you know, you've known that you're in love with Hongjoong. You're in tune enough with your feelings to know it, despite being entirely unwilling to admit it to him — not without something more concrete, not without him giving up and giving in just a little. You don't think it's a lot to ask of him, to put his hurt, and his worry, and whatever it is that clings to and harms him so deeply — to take a leap of faith and just say the words, the words that are so painfully obvious to the both of you.

That maybe he isn't necessarily in love with you, not yet — but he wants you, wants you all for himself. To be had and held by no one else. Is it too much to ask, to hear the words from his mouth without using them as a means to an end to make the both of you come?

A man so aware and enlightened, only willing to use his words when he knows he can take them back — not completely, but any deeper meaning behind them.

‘All talk, of course, it doesn't mean anything.’

Much like the first time.

And in spite of conversation number one not going according to plan, you find your chest empty at the loss of him next to you — wherever it may be that Hongjoong finds himself on this night, it's with your heart alongside, tightly in hand.

You only hope that he's thoughtful enough to be aware of it, to not make any rash decisions; for all intents and purposes perhaps—

For him to be better than you.

“So, what are you looking for, exactly?”

Stepping through the large, perfectly polished glass doors just behind the man that you've met with, you look around momentarily — luxury brands and department stores far from something that you're uncomfortable or unfamiliar with, it's not all that often that you find yourself shopping about in such places, given Hongjoong's interest in the more 'far out' of fashion trends, as it were — this, a place for people with money, and who want to look like they have money.

It reminds you of Wooyoung, mostly. Expensive, untouchable. The opposite of Hongjoong in every way.

“Not a suit but,” he slowly answers, head only slightly turning back and looking as if he's even more out of his depth than you are. “Something...nice.”

“Not giving me much to work with, here.”

Seonghwa stops in the middle of the fragrance department, you nearly bumping into him from behind at the abrupt halt — looking around, you watch him intently, as if awaiting his next command on where it is that the two of you should head off to.

Hair still the same, black and swept off to the side of his face, sides shaved and neat — you take a second to enjoy the view, beautifully effeminate features, perfect teeth, and when he opens his mouth, such a deceptively heavy, deep voice.

Enough to knock anyone off their game, even just a little bit.

But the truth was, that Park Seonghwa was kind of a fucking nerd.

Not in the typical way, perhaps like Yunho — ex-pro gamer, but more in the sense of being a little awkward in a way that one might not expect upon laying eyes on him. Easy to assume a cold, tough personality to the man, but not so much the case at all.

He was awkward. Sexy, but definitely awkward.

“Is just a button down shirt nice?” he finally asks, making eye contact with you again after scanning the expanse of the room.

“It really depends on where you're going, was there no dress code?”

“Business casual, I think it said.”

“Oh!” you chime, all of the day's problems solved with ease at the description. “That's easy then, yes, you can get away with a nice button down. See? When you give me information to work with...”

A few strides into the direction of the men’s section, the both of you fanning through different colors and brands of shirts, Seonghwa finally pipes up in a lull of quiet from the typical, dull small talk.

“So,” he says plainly. “Are you seeing anyone?”

You're thankful for the way that he cannot see nor hear the way your heart drops at the question alone.

Swallowing hard, eyebrows furrowing just for a moment as if to collect your thoughts, you finally reply. “Um, yeah. I guess. It's kind of complicated, though.”

“What does that mean?”

And in most situations, you wouldn't want to open up about the situation. Still too new and raw and painful to the touch, but the lack of the ability to do so eating you up inside in such a way that the pain drawls on endlessly — Seonghwa probably isn't the right person for this discussion, but frankly, you're not really sure who would be.

You just know that right now you're dying inside, so it has to be somebody, and well...he's offering.

“I've been seeing this guy for the past bunch of months, we're actually best friends, or were— before all of this,” you begin, sighing between the statements and emotional exhaustion from it all evident. “He's obviously into me, just like I am into him, I'd love to just...be in a relationship with him but he can't...talk, say the words. Be vulnerable.”

“Real tough guy, huh?” Seonghwa quips as he pulls a navy blue shirt off of the rack to check the size and fit against himself.

“Not really, that's what really gets me,” you start again. “He's really not that sort of macho, out of touch with his feelings kind of stereotype dude that you'd expect, but I guess anyone can have their problems with intimacy.”

“You're sure he wants what you want?”

The question comes out of left field, especially from the man just across the rack from you — and despite not needing it, you do take a moment of pause to think the question over before giving the same answer you would have either way.

“Yeah, I'm sure.”

Seonghwa sets the shirt back onto the metal tubing from where it came before leaning forward onto it with arms crossed and chin pressed against them to look at you.

“Then he kinda needs to shit or get off the pot, ya know? Tell him to grow up.”

“I don't think it's that easy. If it were that easy I think he would have by now, there's something else there holding him back.”

“Are you fuckin' other people still?”

The question gives you whiplash, the velocity at which it leaves Seonghwa's mouth and proverbially slaps you right across the face something you never could have expected — paired with the fact that yes, it was something you had considered...

But coming from someone with completely fresh insight on the situation—

Perhaps you hadn't been as safe and accommodating as you could have been, after all.

“I mean,” you stutter out, eyes darting away from his own and back down into the slew of button down shirts before you. “Yeah, we're not exclusive or anything, so...”

Who is it that you're trying to convince, anyways? That everything that you do is okay.

The idea that right and wrong can coexist simultaneously. That someone's right is someone else's wrong, or someone's right and wrong all at once.

Of course you are allowed to do that, and shoulder the consequences of your actions, you shall. Not a punishment, merely a result.

Choose wisely.

“Obviously,” Seonghwa says, pulling back to stand straight again. “But if he has feelings for you and you know that, and he knows that you know that, and yet he knows you're fuckin' other people still...I mean, I can only speak for myself I guess, but I would not be jumping to bare my soul to someone who's probably got a date to get her back blown out twenty minutes after, ya know?”

It's funny in delivery. The truth behind it making you wince all the same.

“You told him?” Seonghwa asks, shortly after amending the question. “That you have feelings for him? Want to be with him?”

You nod silently, carding through a rack of shirts that you've long since stopped paying attention to.

“Then I maintain my stance that he's gotta get a grip,” he says with a shrug, finally settling on an item and holding it up with confirmation. You smile gently at him.

“You threw yourself into the fire, he's gotta meet you there eventually.”

Stepping into the apartment and gently shutting the door behind you as you kick your shoes off, you hear the sound of Seonghwa casually tossing his keys onto the kitchen counter only a few feet away as he steps further ahead, bags set down behind the couch on the opposite end.

You stop and take it in for a moment — another new place, new sights, new smells, a new man.

And sure, Seonghwa wasn't new. Not in the typical sense of the word. He wasn't a random guy that you had just picked up that evening with every intention of drowning your worries in anything that he was willing to give you to help you forget, if even for a moment, but he wasn't...well...

He wasn't comfort. He wasn't home.

He wasn't Hongjoong.

Checking the screen of your phone again for notifications — notifications that you know have not arrived, for if they had, you would have felt them, you attempt to swallow down the knot in your throat. The feeling of being forgotten, of potentially being moved on from.

Did he even care anymore? Was it too little, too late, before you had even known it?

Vaguely, you can hear Seonghwa's deep voice ring out towards you, but the words fail to make their way to you. Not in any real, meaningful way — instead, past words spit like venom once again swim around and consume your memories, making their bed in your mind like a disease you may never find yourself rid of.

‘After all, you didn't know I was going to be there that night.’

“Hey,” you hear, Seonghwa finally breaking through the heavy thought clouding your mind. “What is going on up there?”

Lightly tapping the top of your head with his index finger, you lightly swat his hand away, awkwardly laughing and trying to shake off the way the memory makes you feel even now — the same way it felt then. As if no time had passed between at all.

“I'm fine.”

“Thinking about him?” Seonghwa chimes, teasingly mocking you like you're a girl with a crush.

It's not wrong, but hurts far more than he seems to be aware of, even in spite of the conversation earlier. You're unsurprised by this, as he never had come off as one quick on the emotional uptake of others.

A little self-centered, and a lot into himself. Med student, model — you figure it just sort of comes with the territory, perhaps, and truly — you had known him not to be the one to confide one's deepest, most vulnerable thoughts and feelings in, for those hands however skilled they may be, know not what to do with such items.

Opting to ignore the comment for as long as you can, instead eyes trailing along the medical books, papers, diagrams strewn about on the coffee table in front of the couch...only a few feet away from a few rather expensive looking garments carefully laid out across the top of a lounge chair — you find it charming, in some bizarre way — the juxtaposition of Seonghwa's lives carefully balanced on a thread via a man with no time to spare, and seemingly little knowledge about anything else.

You wonder if there's anything there, really, beyond medicine and beauty. Albeit, the path of medicine such a selfless act in and of itself, almost jarring in comparison to knowing the man; barely able to carry on a serious conversation, or offer a consoling word.

And hilariously, through all of the split second introspection, you come to the ultimate conclusion that you're not even all that sure you even like him that much.

“No,” you eventually answer, shuffling the thoughts from your head with finality. “Thinking about what we should eat.”

“What are you in the mood for?” he hurriedly responds, jumping up and into one of the stools next to the counter, phone in hand. “I'll order whatever.”

“Kind of want a pizza, actually.”

“Done.”

You find this to be the easiest conversation that you've ever had with the man, relief washing over you a bit and, for once, not feeling an undercurrent of battle with every word that is exchanged between the two of you, but you remember after all — you're there for a reason.

“By the way,” you say suddenly. “Need a tape measure, do you have one?”

“Ummmm, yeah, should be in my bedroom. The big white dresser? Not sure which drawer. You can go in there though, don't worry, won't find anything crazy.”

The words aren't all that comforting, you find, in spite of the fact that he's quite evidently trying to be. The promise of not finding whatever insanity the man may have hidden somewhere in the apartment something that you are thankful for, but as you step into his bedroom, the looming feeling of alarm washes over you just as quickly — that previously mentioned undercurrent of battle, now replaced with uncertainty. Not worry, so much, but with the crashing acknowledgement that perhaps you don't really know this man at all.

And you know that it's really none of your business. Not even a little bit, but he had you go in there, and knew what you would find—

—It seems only fair.

“Uh, Seonghwa?”

Long eyes looking up from his phone and straight towards you, dark hair dangling at one side of his face, it takes a long moment for the realization to hit him — so used to his version of normal, that you realize then and there, he had not actually thought about what it was he had been sending you off and into upon informing you where to find the tape measure.

That he obviously should have gotten off of his ass and retrieved himself.

“Oh, oh God,” he groans, eyes darting side to side and most importantly, far away from your own. His discomfort adds to your comfort instead, finding pleasure in the way that he is for once the one in the compromised situation between the two of you.

He was always awkward, but this was way better.

“Okay, ummm, I guess—“ he pauses, eyes screwing shut as if immediately trying to disappear himself from his own apartment, only opening them again upon accepting his failure in doing so and with lips forming a straight line, Seonghwa exhales heavily from his nostrils.

“—It's kinda...what it looks like.”

“The camera,” you plainly state, thumb over your shoulder and pointing back from where you had come from. “Want to tell me about that?”

Sighing, Seonghwa simply slumps forward with his head buried in crossed arms on the counter in front of him, words muffled. “No, but I guess I'm going to.”

“I mean, I won't say anything,” you comfort, shrugging and setting yourself down on the couch behind him. “I'm just already in here so if you're going to like, murder me for the dark web or something then I'd like to know ahead of time.”

You hear Seonghwa chuckle in response, probably thankful for the lighthearted banter in response to your findings. “Okay well, if that's what it looks like then it's not that.”

“What are you, a camboy or something?”

The chuckle in your voice as the words exit your mouth are evidence enough of the fact that you're still trying to make banter of the situation.

Seonghwa's silence in reaction, however, tells you that you're right on the money with your guess.

“Oh my God,” you chime out, a bit louder than you had anticipated. “You are.”

“Can you keep your voice down,” he hurriedly replies, pulling himself up and around to face you with the utmost urgency across his features. “These walls are paper thin, God.”

“Sorry, just—“ you pause, still taken aback by the discovery. “I was joking, I didn't think you really were. Not that there's anything wrong with that.”

With a heavy inhale, and equally heavy exhale, Seonghwa groans in anticipation of having to explain himself even further.

“It's good money, and it's fun,” he explains, standing up and heading over towards you on the couch so that the two of you can finish up the reason that you had gone over there to begin with. “The modeling is good but sometimes I don't take jobs because the travel just takes up so much time, it's hard to juggle with being a med student, so camming sort of supplements my income when I don't take jobs.”

Watching Seonghwa's face as he explains — cheeks and ears flushed red and the complete inability to make eye contact with you as he talks about it, laughing through it awkwardly even though nothing humorous is being said — you hate to admit the way that you find it charming, that perhaps in all of the ways that he is unattractive to you, there's still this. Goofy, uncomfortable, incredibly regular, like a little kid entirely too big physically and especially in life to handle all of the things being thrown his way.

An incredible juggling act, perhaps shocking that he didn't turn out worse.

So awkward, for a guy that jerks off on camera for who knows how many strangers.

“I think it's kind of cool.”

And for the first time since the conversation topic had been breached, Seonghwa's eyes meet your own, albeit briefly. A silent thankfulness for your understanding, for your willingness to accept him.

“You want to get into it? I'll fuck you on camera, we'll make a killing.”

Ah, right, there he is. Spoken like a truly insufferable prick.

“You wish, moron,” you say, flat in tone and forcing him to spin so that he faces away from you. “Get down on your knees so I can measure you out and get this fit right, and if you don't behave I'll have you out there looking ridiculous on purpose.”

Tape measure in hand, you extend the length enough to cross the width of the man's shoulders, making note of the number and dialing it in on your phone laid just next to you on the couch cushion, Seonghwa's head turns just slightly as if in attempt to look back at you, despite not having the range of motion to do so to any reasonable amount.

“Are my shoulders wide?”

You roll your eyes.

“They're a perfectly normal width, Hwa.”

“Wider than What's-his-face's?”

There's that burn in your chest again, and you can't tell if Seonghwa just doesn't get it or doesn't care, at this point.

Swallowing hard at the question, hoping and praying that your voice doesn't break as you force out a light response to an absolutely painful topic, you manage well enough.

“Yes, he's not a model.”

“He's short? Small?”

At this point, you're glad that Seonghwa can't see you — the way that you chew on the inside of your cheek or lip at the mere mention of Hongjoong, and now especially at this bizarrely competitive way that Seonghwa seems to be...having a go at him, despite not even knowing him, it's unappealing, unattractive, and downright right fucking annoying.

“Yes, he's small,” you answer, this time with far less effort to conceal your irritation at the line of questioning. “What does it matter to you, anyways?”

Shrugging suddenly as you continue on with what you had gone there to do to begin with, he sighs. “Just trying to lighten the mood, surely this guy isn't all that, and especially not if he can't even tell a girl he likes her.”

You kind of wish you could disagree.

Appreciating Seonghwa's mismanaged attempt at making you feel better in some way, you allow yourself to let the anger fall to the wayside a bit. The man just before you clearly only good at so many things — matters of other people's hearts, maybe not so much.

Which you sort of knew already.

Silence finally taking the room as you move to measure the length of his right arm, you're delighted by it. The fact that no words are currently exiting his beautiful mouth. You consider for a moment that perhaps beautiful men are far more often better off not using their words.

Wooyoung sort of springs to mind.

Paradise crashes down pretty quickly, though.

“He got a small dick?”

“Seonghwa.”

Swatting the back of his head gently, the man chuckles at your response. “What!? I find it admirable that you love him despite his flaws if that's the case.”

“You have got to shut up before I walk out of here.”

“Okay, okay, I was just jokin’—“

It's an almost pleasant bit in the evening, interrupted by the sound of a notification coming through on your phone, and as the screen illuminates, you only have to glance at it for a second to recognize the length of text — the name — that comes through on the screen.

You take pause, not only due to the unexpected nature of it, but given your current circumstances and just — everything. The feelings all rushing back to your chest, throat tightening in an instant, heart feeling as though it could beat straight through your rib cage at any given moment, you can only assume that Seonghwa doesn't hear the sound, or thinks nothing of it at first, before taking notice of the way that you freeze behind him, arms stuck in statuesque figure as you stare down at the device next to you with thoughts racing a mile a minute.

“What?” he finally questions, moving to turn more and take in the scene behind him, first looking to you, but following your eyes down to the object as the screen dulls again only seconds later. “Oh, is it him?”

You nod, slowly allowing your arms down and swallowing down a dry throat.

“Just ignore him, come on, we're having fun,” the man with you insists, grabbing you playfully by the arms and flailing them about for you. “He can wait a few hours more, don't let him ruin your night.”

Snapping back to reality, you blink, then turning your attention to Seonghwa — eyes bright and eyebrows down turned as if pleading for you not to ruin his good time, you take control of your arms once again as you reach towards your phone.

“I'm just...surprised, he's texting me—“ you say, inhaling deeply before unlocking the screen. “I can't ignore him.”

“You can, come on, we're having a good night!”

>Hongjoong: hey. i'm sorry. we should talk. I want to talk. about the conversation we had a few days ago. when you have time, obviously.

The message hits you in the chest like a freight train, for so many reasons, but the pointed willingness of the apology quite possibly being the most gutting of all.

Hongjoong, a man never above an apology, so you're unsure why it is that this one in particular hits you in such a special way — that he leads with it, that it feels so strong, so meaningful, so much.

And the acknowledgment of the failed conversation, of course.

Looking up from your phone, you meet the sad, puppy dog eyes of Seonghwa — pouty and evidently beyond bummed at the inevitability of the way the night will end — a child starved of play dates, his one moment cut short just like that.

You flash back to the night that you met Seonghwa, and how sexy you thought he was. The reason that you exchanged numbers with him to begin with. Truthfully? A quick fuck was ideally in the cards.

How unfortunate now that you've gotten to know him.

“Nah, I don't think so!”

Before the words really register to you, Seonghwa has your phone swiped from your hands, pulling it from your reach and back behind him — holding it far and away from your own as you attempt to swiftly grab it back from him but with no avail. Repeatedly calling his name to give it back, the man only laughs as you try to best his long limbs without closing too much of the space between the two of you — something that you would like to avoid.

And that he would not.

Pulling forward and nearly off of the couch entirely with Seonghwa leaned back and away, you attempt to reach behind him for your device, still far out of reach, but it's when the man quickly leans back in again without your ready — lips firm against your own and free hand cupping the side of your face to pull your further into it that you find it so easy to melt into the feeling without so much as a second thought; the warmth, the inviting plush of his mouth with a kiss not rushed, or needy, but passionate and soft.

You meet his motions briefly, before pulling back and away from him entirely.

Hand still gently pressed into the side of your head, fingers lightly curling into the hair that resides there, you take in the way that Seonghwa's features soften so much just in that moment — as if a man now knelt before you that you'd never met before. A new man.

He delicately pulls your face back towards him, and you hate the way you allow him to.

Only centimeters from your lips, Seonghwa whispers into you, voice heavy and laden with obvious desire that, if laid dormant all of this time, you had not noticed it until only now.

“If you're really gonna give the fun up for this guy,” he begins, pressing his lips to your own again and so gently that you almost couldn't even feel it. “Then what's wrong with one last one for the road, huh?”

Another kiss.

You're melting into it far too quickly, so easy for Seonghwa to lull you into this sort of comfort that only minutes prior you never would have thought him capable of — a new side of himself, so sensual and inviting and deeply, you wished you weren't curious about what else there was that he had to offer you.

“—He'll never have to find out.”

Okay, fuck it.

Scooting backwards on the couch a bit further, parting your legs to allow room for him in between them, Seonghwa leans into you even more, mouth heavier against your own, with more intent now. Your eyes dart down, in view of the hand clasping your phone still — the buzz of another notification ringing through your ears, knowing precisely who it is that's attempting to contact you — it takes everything in you to muster up the courage to ignore it, cast it aside.

Cast Hongjoong aside.

Seonghwa stands, carding his fingers through long, black hair as he does so before reaching for his belt buckle and beginning to undo it right in front of your face — your eyes fixated on the obvious tenting in the front of his pants at the promise of a fuck that neither of you should particularly be indulging in, but especially not you.

You can. You're allowed.

“Have you thought about this before?” you ask, curiosity getting the best of you and desperately needing to cut through the silence of only your thoughts.

Seonghwa chuckles, still looking down upon your features as he pulls the leather apart, fingers then moving to the button — it's happening a little faster than you needed right now, but also, perhaps that's exactly what you need.

“Of course, every guy thinks about fucking every attractive, female friend they have — at least a little bit.”

An unfortunate byproduct — everything reminds you of him.

Pressing his jeans down slightly and pulling himself from the black fabric of his briefs, he strokes himself slowly, gently, for your viewing pleasure — only inches from your face, eyes still engrossed and watching you as you watch him.

You wonder if this is how he does it for however many viewers he brings in.

“Don't think about him,” he says, bringing the hand up that still clasps your phone and turning the screen towards your face. “Unlock it, just for a little fun.”

“Are you crazy?” you bite back, leaning away from him altogether, but the man before you still lazily pumping himself only snorts a bit and shrugs before answering you back.

“It's your phone, think of it as a bachelorette gift from me.”

The confidence in his tone, while irritating, is intriguing — you wonder briefly who and what he's done to make himself believe that video recollection of you sucking him off could be something that you'd watch back later, holed up in the bathroom late at night with nothing or no one better to do and only a fond memory of something that you had no business partaking in to begin with.

Though, come to think of it; when you put it like that, the appeal was certainly beginning to present itself.

You snatch the phone from him and plug in your pass code, handing it back to him just as quickly — as if the faster it's done the less either of you will have to acknowledge the acceptance, but the grin on Seonghwa's face says everything as he evidently pulls up the camera app and angles your phones lens down and towards your face.

“Lemmie see you work, baby.”

You're certainly not proud of the way the sentence is felt straight between your legs — not entirely sure if it's the words themselves, the man, the camera, or the deviousness of the act as a whole — taking him into your dominant hand and replacing his as he pulls away and instead runs fingertips through the hair at the top of your head, you carry on with the work that he had started on himself. Heavy and warm, long, thick enough but not anything that would take any exceptional prep to work up to, you quickly (and unfortunately) have to settle on the fact that the guilty fuck is doing more for you now, in this moment, than you'd ever really like to admit to yourself.

Pulling yourself forward on the couch more to situate yourself best for taking him, you angle your head down as to run your tongue against the tip of his cock — wet, showy circles across it and looking up to see the effect on him — bottom corner of his lip pulled between his teeth and slightly hooded, brown eyes gazing down upon you.

And the camera, of course. You're making a show of it.

Moving upwards again, you take Seonghwa fuller into your mouth, properly for sucking him off — too big to take the entirety of but you're thankful that he doesn't seem stuck on the necessity of it, hands in your hair and on your head for the sake of being there rather than with intent to guide or pull you onto him, he allows you the ability to take him at your own pace and depth, languidly bobbing along his cock with wet, swollen lips as airy, devilishly sexy groans topple from the beautifully plump ones that had just been kissing you only moments before.

Kisses testing the waters: ‘How horrible are you, really?’

Even with cock in mouth, or especially with cock in mouth, you can't help but have the thoughts spring to mind — how wrong it is, how fucked up it is.

How you're only doing this with promise that Hongjoong will never know, because if he were to, you wouldn't.

But the knowledge of it devastating him not enough to stop you from pulling the trigger on the act, either.

Is this love?

“Feel so good, look so pretty like this,” Seonghwa says, the words nearly startling you from your thoughts despite the act still taking place. “Like a big dick? Hm? Mouth looks so small around me.”

You know he's playing it up for the camera, likely because it's what he's used to doing — talking the viewer through to their finish — he's assuming that someday you will, in all actuality, make yourself come to this little snippet in time at some point in the future.

Depending on how it turns out, you can't really promise that you won't, either.

Picking up your speed along him, hand following suit to make up for the amount of him that you can't fit into your mouth, Seonghwa groans at the extra friction, head falling back briefly to take in the feeling of you swallowing him whole, as best you can.

“God.” And it's nearly a whisper, eyes falling back down to yours once again. “Wanna come all over that pretty face of yours.”

Arousal pooling between your legs much quicker than you'd have ever hoped, the promise of him emptying on your face — while enticing — not exactly the finish you were looking for, but just as you pull off of him slowly to voice the concern, Seonghwa locks your phone screen with an audible click and tosses the device to a plush chair sitting adjacent to the two of you.

“Kinda short but should do the trick if you're hard up for time, here, stand up.”

Somewhat confused but following the man's lead all the same, Seonghwa pulls you up and off the couch before seating himself down where you had just been, cock still hard and all present — you finally come to realize that it was all for show, that he had no intention of finishing then and there.

What a magnificent actor, you think to yourself.

“Take your pants off,” he then instructs, sitting with his back against the couch and hand around himself as he resumes stroking himself at the visual, you wasting no time shimmying out of your clothing for him to watch — lips slightly parted and eyes so strong and intensely situated on your body and all of its movements. Once down to your panties, you look at him again, unsure if meant to strip in totality.

“Should I...?”

“Up to you,” he says, suddenly grabbing towards you and pulling your hips forward and against his face as fingers quickly make their way between your legs and into the sides of the fabric there — but pausing to look up at you again, the dastardly grin is really what sends home the words themselves, thereafter.

“Depends how dirty of a fuck you want it to be, the more clothes the better then.”

And you don't really have time to answer the question, had there ever even been one, before his lips press hard against your pussy and tongue making quick work of the quest for your clit — nearly toppling forward, hands falling to his shoulders for leverage as your knees just about give out from the sudden contact, lewd, slurping and sucking sounds resonating through the apartment as Seonghwa wastes no time tasting you — and just as quickly, the feeling of a single finger slowly pressing into you as you stand before him.

“God, fuck, Seonghwa—“

He hums in acknowledgment of the name, two, three slow pumps of the digit, you feel him add a second. Delicate hands, but by no means dainty — fingers with thickness to them and the feeling of fullness is immediate as he continues the suction on your clit with earnest.

Your own fingers digging into his shirt and the flesh beneath it, head falling back and feeling almost dizzy at the onslaught of sensations, clenching your eyes shut, he pulls his head back from you to look at your features. “Good?”

“Yes,” you whimper out, heavy and barely audible at all. Seonghwa chuckles at the scene before him.

“C'mere.”

And you know he's being annoying when he does it, the words paired with the curl of his fingers deep inside you as he ushers you forward, pressing hard against your g-spot as he does and it's everything you have, all of the strength in your legs to not completely fall forward and against him — but slowly pulling his fingers from you, he instead brings his hands to your waist, steadying you to ease you down and into his lap. Another kiss, this time much heavier and needy and messy from both sides — panties slick and wet and pulled apart messily, allowing you to feel the faint press of his bare shaft against you as the two of you pant and bite at each other's mouths, you want him, and you want him bad.

The coming to a head of so many different thoughts and feelings all at once: the longing, the missing, the sadness, the desire. The allure of being in places and arms where you shouldn't dare be, all the while wishing you were in the ones that you should.

It was good, he made me come, I prefer you.

I prefer you.

You want Seonghwa to fuck you raw.

And you know that the strongest factor in favor of it is the fact that it would be so easy. That the both of you are already right there, so simple, and you shouldn't, and all the while knowing it's sort of why you want to.

Maybe somehow you can undo all of the work that Hongjoong's done if only you allow someone else to do it all over again.

“Seonghwa,” you whisper against his mouth, hips pressing forward and against him, swallowing up the hiss that escapes his lips as a result of it and loving every second of it.

“Condom.”

Nodding, the man reaches down and into his pants’ pocket — still conveniently wrapped around his thighs and pulls for his wallet, metallic package quickly found and ripping it open with his teeth, he nods for you to pull back a little off of him to grant him room to roll it on — watching intently as he does. Settling back comfortably, large hands finding their way up and around your waist again to lift you gently, to hover over him before your descent down — the two of you make eye contact only briefly as one of his hands edges down and between your legs to pull the side of your panties away just as before.

‘Depends how dirty of a fuck you want it to be.’

You quickly dart your eyes away from him, opting to close them instead as you sink down along his length — faster than you might normally and barely allowing yourself any time to adjust, you wince at the stretch, the length, the pull of him against your insides — not completely ready to take him yet.

But ready to get it over with, get out of there, and carry on like this never happened.

Rocking your hips against him, you start out at a relatively quick pace, one hand on his shoulder and the other between your legs to rub you into your orgasm as fast as possible, not even wanting to leave it up to him to get you there — screwing your eyes shut tighter, allowing yourself to feel the way he pulls you down to take his cock; a little hard, a little rough — but it's kind of what you want, what you need, given the circumstances.

In some ways, Seonghwa may as well not be there at all.

“H—harder—“ you whisper, desperately trying to get the friction you need from him out of the position but being starkly limited in availability, you only hear Seonghwa laugh at first, in response to your demand, before stopping the both of you altogether and nearly pushing you off of him.

Your first thought, is that he's pissed. You're not sure why, or what happened, and before being able to get the question out of your mouth, you find yourself face first into the couch cushion and lengthwise on the couch, with Seonghwa already pressing back into you from behind.

Moaning out at the new, different kind of intrusion, Seonghwa leans forward and over your back, hand nestled in your hair before tightening only enough to get your attention.

You said 'harder,' not 'rougher,' — 'rougher' was the next command on the agenda, though.

With a hard, sudden snap of his hips into you, you whine out loudly in response. Then another, and another following — crying out at the feeling, just teetering on the edge of being too much, too painful, you finally hear the words from behind you through gritted teeth.

“I'm fine with being your guilty little fuck,” he says, still snapping his hips harshly between every few words. “Use me to forget him? I can do that.”

Hand still pressed against your head, Seonghwa adjusts his positioning behind you just enough that it gives him better, easier access to continue his relentless drives into you — hard and fast — your hand once again buried between your legs and now orgasm much faster in its approach, you whine out with every full thrust of himself, nearly pulling all of the way from you before plunging back in.

“Feel good? You like that?” he asks, breath heavy and husky and sounding almost bitter in the exchange.

It almost turns you on more, knowing that he's angry with you for this, hates you for it.

“Yes.”

“Yeah? My cock feel good to you, baby?”

So vulgar and with a tone so hateful, you know he's trying to make a point. The reminder that it's him and not Hongjoong. Making you pay attention to it. Not letting you disassociate from the fact. Forcing you to be present and in the moment no matter how much you don't want to be — not entirely, at least.

“Say it,” he adds with a particularly harsh thrust, and you give in right away. “Yes, yes, fuck, Seonghwa—“

“That's right, good girl. Close? Wanna come around my cock for me?”

A moan first ripping through your lips, fingers desperately attempting to grip into unrelenting cushions, you feel Seonghwa's own curl harder into the skin of your hips with every second that you don't answer him.

“Yes, I do, fuck, please I'm close—“

Continuing into you, he quiets long enough to focus on getting you there; fucking into you hard and fast and all of the way through it as you cry out at the way your orgasm finally takes you, you barely even notice as Seonghwa suddenly exits from you, pulling the condom free of himself and stroking himself through his own orgasm — translucent white strings of his cum painting your already stained panties and backside.

A fitting end — filthy and used and an amalgamation of things that never quite should have taken place to begin with.

Slowly, tiredly flipping back over to face him, Seonghwa avoids eye contact at first — the easy excuse of needing to toss the condom away in a rush able to pull him from the situation long enough to steady himself and his feelings before coming back — pants now pulled back up and into place before sitting down on the couch next to you again, eyes away from you as you awkwardly reach for the garments you had left on the floor onto ten or so minutes prior to now.

And then, your phone.

Buzzing lightly against the plush of the chair, you can't help but allow your attention to draw to Seonghwa in light of it all — but the man turns his head from you gently, instead opting to reach for the device as the one closest to it and handing it to you without ever making eye contact.

Talk about guilty fuck.

And of course it's Hongjoong. It's always Hongjoong. The vibrancy of the name on the screen in juxtaposition to the scenario that you just took part in and the way Seonghwa isn't helping in making it feel okay, feels like a knife to the chest.

Maybe, just maybe, it's not okay. Maybe it hasn't been for a while.

“I need to get—“ you quietly clamor out, your existence feeling like a disturbance in the man's home, but unable to leave until you wash the remainder of him off of you. Seonghwa turns his head to you briefly, finally realizing the situation and quickly — awkwardly, pointing you into the direction of his bathroom.

And it's unfortunate the ways that hurt people sometimes expel that pain. For Hongjoong, it's a spitfire tongue and thoughtless words — precisely as he thinks and feels in the moment but with every intention to hurt the recipient just as much as he, himself hurts.

For Yunho, it's repetition — the starry-eyed hope that if given the ability to go back in time, do the same thing over again, maybe do something differently, that he can forge a different outcome of the same situation.

For you, it's actions — thoughtless and selfish and entirely self-absorbed. Desperate for the acknowledgment that the choices one makes along the way are good and right, objectively so, even if at the expense of the ones we love around us.

And for Seonghwa, it's revenge.

Coming back from the bathroom, as best cleaned up as you can manage, you find Seonghwa standing in the kitchen — arms crossed with a glass of unknown liquid in hand as his eyes coldly fall over your figure. A far cry from the man you had arrived there with, but knowing all the same when you had worn out your welcome — you certainly don't feel bad about being kicked out after the sex, truthfully, you couldn't get out of there faster if you had tried to.

“I'm gonna get out of he—“

The sound of your phone vibrating stealing your attention away, but not because of a message notification.

Rather, a phone call.

Phone on the glass coffee table, face up, and not where you had left it when you went off to the bathroom — glancing down at the phone call as the tail end of it comes through, only to find it add itself to a slew of three other missed call notifications.

And all from Hongjoong.

You slowly look back up and towards Seonghwa, still silently perched in the kitchen — watching you, but with nothing to say. Slowly, he brings his hand from the side of his arm to take a sip of the beverage...

But not before ever so gently tipping it towards you.

Cheers, indeed. And 'fuck you, too.'

Panic setting in immediately, before you even have a chance to call Hongjoong back, another call rings through, and gathering your things, shuffling towards the door with little else on your mind beyond getting the fuck out of that apartment and away from that man, you pick up the call finally.

“Hongjoong, I— hold on, just—“

You haven't even heard a word from him yet, pulling the phone back down from your face to swipe through your apps at lightning quick speed, desperate to locate your texting app but not all that ready to lay eyes on precisely what it is that you expect to find.

And you do, of course.

The last thing in your messaging conversation with Hongjoong, the video Seonghwa took of you with him less than an hour earlier.

Not even bothering to acknowledge Seonghwa further as you leave the apartment, barreling down the staircase as quickly as possible with your bag slung over your shoulder, you're finally able to situate yourself enough to bring the phone back to your face.

Inhaling deeply, pausing from exhaustion and pressing your back against one of the concrete walls, you huff out his name. “Hongjoong—“

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

But the tone on the other line isn't angry, not in the way that you had anticipated. It's not a man furious, violent, aggressive in any sense of the imagination — but rather, a tone dripping with desperation, with tragedy, with pain. This question posed, to avoid the other, obvious question that lied bare and rubbed raw behind it: Why would you do this to me? Why would you hurt me like this?

“Look, I didn't send—“ you pause the line of thought, realizing that the details of who or why it was sent to him mean little, and truly the only thing that matters is why were you with him.

And why does Hongjoong mean that little to you.

“Hongjoong, I'm sorry, it was a mistake, I fucked up—“

“I've been texting you all night, is that why I couldn't get a hold of you?”

“Look, please, we should talk—“

“We should talk? I've been trying to get a hold of you all night to talk!”

“I know,” voice breaking with the words, the burning creeping up quickly and pulling yourself together again enough to continue down the stairs and out of the building and in a ride share towards Hongjoong's place, you continue to plead with him. “Please, Joong, I'm coming over. Please, let's talk about this.”

‘About this.’ The concept of ‘this.’

The unmatched, unswallowable feeling of impending nothingness. The loss of something — someone so great.

Everyone has a breaking point.

When silence greets you on the other line for far too long as your car carries you towards his home, a home that the two of you not too long ago once shared, you can almost hear the way that Hongjoong has to swallow down his feelings, the gut-wrenching twist of the dagger that you so ceremoniously planted directly into his chest.

“I don't know why you're tormenting me,” he whispers through broken voice, otherwise calm words falling onto your ears like death itself.

“So fucking jealous when I slept with your friend, before we even started getting involved—“

“I know, Hongjoong, I know please—“

His voice turning whiny, more broken and pointed. “—It was fucked up then, and it's so fucked up now.”

Throat burning, ears on fire, you know it's on the tip of his tongue if he can muster up the courage to do it, to say the words, to do the deed himself.

I don't love you anymore, goodbye.

But he doesn't, and in an effort to cut him off before he can, you make the quick decision that it's enough with the bullshit, and enough with the games. Emotions have been worn and dragged through the mud enough up until this point for the both of you — and for no reason at all. You know what you want, and you've always known what you wanted.

Him.

“You can come to the apartment to get your shit but I won't be there—“

“Hongjoong—“

He silences, you await the inquiry that apparently won't ever come, and it gives you pause again. Veins running ice cold and breath thin, you figure now more than ever before;

It's now or never.

“I love you.”

♡ send me your thoughts and feelings in my ask.

⎯ ୨previous୧ ⎯ ○ ⎯ ୨next୧ ⎯    

[thefourthwifeoftengenuzui]

I saw that your requests were open so I was wondering if you could do Asahi x reader? Maybe relationship headcannons? You can have creative liberty with everything else though.

Thank you ^^

ofc Anon, happy to help ya out! This is my first time writing for Asahi, but honestly it should be pretty easy, because I’m an asahi Kinnie. Love y’all sm, if you liked this, make sure to like, follow, and if you curios, just ask

warnings: Swearing, crack, fluff? Mentions of vagina? Has one section implying a AFAB reader, but is only one paragraph. If you aren’t a pussy owner, pretend it’s a papercut it literally the same results. I tried to make it as gender neutral as possible.

status: edited, but at like 3am so read at your own risk

💜Asahi Azumane💜

💜Boyfriend Headcannons💜

First things first, Man is so freaking shy. Like goodness, he wouldn’t be able to talk to you when he has a crush on you. So, if you want results, you have to A) Be confident, and B) be in a place he’s comfortable interacting in. Like at volleyball practice (Gia- Joden shut your ass up, your AsaNoya is showing.) So, for this let’s just imagine you’re a second year, helping Kiyoko manage the team. Yeah that sounds a lil familiar but shhhhhhhhh, let me have this.

Once we get over the hurdle of him actually asking you out (AKA Tanaka bullying him into doing with some, if you don’t do it, I will,) Be gotta be the biggest sweetie ever. Like I’m used to writing for assholes, but I physically cannot with this man, this pure sweet chipotle bowl of a man. The most shit I can say is that he’s a pussy.

Please. For the love of God (Gia- You called?) Play with his hair. He will literally melt like butter into a blushy slushy mess it’s so freaking adorable.

The literal epitome of pit bull energy. Like so freaking terrifying on the outside but inside? Literally the softest thing since Japanese pancakes. And because of this, mfs be terrified to talk to you. Like even if he’s so polite, things don’t change. What he says- “Hi, I’m sure you didn’t know, but that’s my partner , and it looks like you’re making them very uncomfortable, could you please leave them alone.? Thank you! 🌸☺️🌸” What people hear- “Aye yo, what ya doing with my girl buddy? You tryna start something, I’ll fucking kick your ass *insert Tanaka face*”. Yeah, it’s a common occurrence for people to tell you to blink twice if you need help.

Even though he’s canonically not planning on going to college, he’s still above average in school work. Not really in terms of analysis and problem solving, so his best subjects are stuff he can just memorize like science or History. If you happen to be weak in either of those, he would be more than happy to help after practice or during weekends. He’s super patient with you and often suggests snack breaks and other things whenever it gets to much. (Because of that he’s also really good at helping you through panic attacks, more on that if I do a part 2.)

In terms of cringe, the cringiest thing y’all do would be like seriously basic couples costumes. And I ain’t talking joker and Harley Quinn type bs (that fr can be cute sometimes,) I’m talking moth and lamp type shit. I know it’s probably adorable to some of yall but it gives me the serious ick.

Speaking of the Ick, man uses the most horrendous nicknames unironocally. He doesn’t do it all the time (especially after Tanaka nearly pissed himself after hearing him trying to be tender.) like I can just hear him saying, “Hey muffin, can you grab my bag from the club room? I have to help clean up.” (Gia- joden ewwwwww stop it that’s literally so gross.)

reads you the Bible

Yall know that one comic where it’s like killer croc and his girlfriend walking around and she tells him how much she loves him and how safe he makes her feel? Yeah that’s literally yall and it’s so precious. Like just imagine walking anywhere and everywhere holding pinkies (my gay lol heart is melting) while he’s just being a blushy mess.

Noya is the main wingman, but still doesn’t know on how how you got together. His idea of friendly advice is, “QUICK BEING W PUSS AND ASK THEM OUT LIKE A MAN ASAHI😤.”

Regardless of if you are a titty owner or not, please don’t take your shirt off around him, he will literally malfunction.He will literally have an aneurysm. Like mans nosebleeds will rock him like a rocket. Like man will be in the morgue from blood loss. And we still need this man for cuddles, so no. Kill the spike not your boyfriend, can i get an amen 🙏?

He is the most precious fluffy boyfriend possible. Like he’s the sweetest of all beans. Like you could ask him to murder someone and he’lll just be like, “Yes Sweetie anything you say dear 🌸🥰🌸.” Kinda like Gojo in that one jjk scene (the I’ll murder you one)

he loves restaurant dates, but like don’t take him anywhere who only has spicy food. I love this man with all my might, but he is a serious pussy. Like my goodness has the gracious. And he won’t even say anything about it. My poor baby will just suffer in silence. So please don’t, he’s a poor baby.

This one’s for all my long hair honeys. One word. Hairties. Hairties Galore. He never has enough. And he always has them at the ready. But on the unlikely chance he doesn’t, he has no problem using your scrunchies during a game, and it’s seriously the softest marshmallow man move ever. I can not emphasize it enough.

ok this man if the favorite of all of his younger cousins. Like the little dudes love just climbing on them. He physically cannot say no to them. So, what’s something they force him to do? Watch Disney princess movies with them. He knows all their names trust. His top three definitely Jasmine, Belle and Cinderella, trust me on this.(Gia- fuck sukuna, Asahi x Cinderella for life lol) He gives the most insane Disney adult energy it’s insane. (Gia- joden, chill with the slander mate).

He is a living random fact generator. No I will not elaborate. He watches that kind of YouTube shorts. He’s so boring I swear to fuck.

(I had to Make Gia write this lol) This one is for all my pussy people. He gotta be the most worried individual on this side of the nuthouse whenever you’re bleeding. Like the second he hears your on the cycle it’s, “OMG ARE YOU OK, ARE YOU DYING? OMG MY GIRLFRIENDS DYING, HELP WE NEED TO GET YOU TO THE DOCTORS! PLEASE DONT DIE ON ME BABY! DO YOU NEED PADS, HEATING PADS, IBUPROFEN, CHOCOLATE!?ILL GET YOU THAT, THE VERY BEST BEST QUALITY-” please shut him tf up. He’s gonna have a panic attack, please calm him down,

for us non pussy personas, just imagine you got a paper-cut. He literally acts the same way.

For my final big thing, ima just give ya’ll little addicts exactly what yall came here for: Crack. (Also yes a changed some lyrics, I ain’t about to whitewash no characters)

Tanaka- EVERYBODY SAY SAUSAGE KEEP IT GOING, EGGS BACON GRITS

all- Sausage!

Noya- IMA SKINNY BITCH BUT I STILL TAKE

all- Sausage!

Bokuto- GOT A FAT ASS BUT I STILL TAKE

all- Sausage!

Oikawa- GOT A FLAT ASS BUT I STILL TAKE

all- Sausage!

Y/N- WAKE UP IN THE MORNING GOTTA EAT THAT-

all- Sausage!

Hinata- IMA RED HEAD BUT I STILL TAKE

all- Sausage!

*Literally everyone is gay in this show so I’m not including this verse*

Yachi- CUTE GIRL SWAG BUT ILL TAKE YOUR MANS

all- Sausage!

Asahi- hagsaggecgedhurdgiitg

all- Sausage!

Saiko- Big tits, and I’m thick so you know I take

all- Sausage!

Kuroo- Yeah I read but but they’re all about

All- Sausage! Sa-Sa-Sa-Sausage, Sausage

kiyoko- I like girls, can I still take sausage?

All- AYEEEEEEE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bro I ain’t gon lie, I had so much fun writing this, but I’m sorry I took so long Anon, I love all of yall so much, but I also am smack in the middle of exam season, and you’re boy needs his degree. If y’all love this, then feel free to ask for more, it’s free, and like and follow me. Love y’all lil freaks,

Joden (edited by Gia)

[fanfictionstuff]

Amaimon X Fem Reader (smut)

It's 3am, which means it's the perfect time for me to practice writing smut lol.

So, I have very little experience with writing oral male receiving. I decided to try tonight/this morning.

100% consensual, Reader was telling her best friend about what she'd happily do with Amaimon.

Amaimon overhears.

You’re halfway to your final class, when someone grabs your arm, tugging you into an empty class. “What?” A hand covers your mouth, telling you to be quiet. You instantly recognize the monotone- it’s Amaimon. He kicks the door shut and pushes you into the classroom. You stand confused. Amaimon walks in front of you. Leaning against the teacher’s desk.

“Well? Go ahead.”

You tilt your head in confusion, unsure what he’s talking about. “Huh.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten. You said you’ll happily suck me off. So, get down on your knees.”

You freeze in disbelief. He had heard you gushing about him with your best friend?

“I said get down. I don’t like repeating myself.” He comments, forcefully pushing you to the ground. “Go ahead.”

“R-really?” 

He nods. 

With trembling hands, you reach for his belt. Part of you is afraid that he's just teasing and doesn't really want it, but the larger part of you is nervous because you've never done anything like this before. "Okay,"

He gazes down at you with an emotionless expression, while your hands tremble as you struggle to undo his buckle. As the belt and pants come undone, you pause unsure of what to do next. Should you pull his pants down? Sensing your hesitation, he tugs at his pants but leaves the boxers on. Wanting you to do the rest. So you do. A faintly musky scent fills your nose, a smell that catches you off guard, like the aroma of a forest after rainfall. Your mouth starts to water in response. The first thing you notice is that he is only partially aroused. "Well?" He raises an eyebrow, prompting you to continue. 

“I, uh-“

“If you tell me you don’t know what to do, I will kick you.”

You gulp nervously and nod as you wrap your hand around him. His skin is warm and soft, and you give a few tentative pumps, hoping it will work. After a moment, he responds and becomes fully erect. He's longer than you expected but still comfortable to hold. You lean forward awkwardly and give a couple of small licks to the head. 

“You said sucking.”

His words send a wave to please to your core. With parted lips, you slowly take him in, savoring the feel and taste of him with each gentle suck. You pause just before he hits the back of your throat, not wanting to gag but wanting to push yourself to the limit for his pleasure.

“Can’t take more?” His words aren’t annoyed or angry, just an observation.

Gradually, you find yourself bobbing your head up and down, running your tongue along the underside and sucking with each motion. However, after a few moments, you start to worry that maybe you're doing something wrong because he's not making any sounds. Your eyes quickly glance up to his face and notice that his jaw is clenched, his eyes are shut tightly, and his brows are furrowed together in concentration. He must have sensed you looking at him because he suddenly opens his eyes and grabs a handful of your hair. With little warning, he pushes you down further onto his cock, causing you to gasp in surprise. He takes control of your movements, bucking his hips and driving himself deeper than you ever expected him to be able to do. With each thrust of his cock you attempt to keep up, sucking him and moving at his pace. You aren’t sure how much time has passed as he uses you, your mouth becoming a tool for his pleasure. Suddenly, he grunts, shoving your face closer to his abdomen as he reaches his climax. “Swallow it,” he demands before pulling out. The liquid is thick and not the most pleasant sensation, but the taste isn't bad. It's slightly salty with a hint of herbs mixed in. 

He grabs the sweater of your uniform, pulling you closer for a deep kiss. His tongue slips into your mouth without hesitation, not bothered by the taste of himself. His hand sneaks under your skirt, tracing a finger along your covered slit. “You’re a virgin.” He whispers in your ear. “I guess I should apologize; I didn’t expect such vulgar words from a virgin. I would’ve at least started with a kiss. Let me make it up to you.” As he speaks, his fingers slip under your panties.

[trailshome]

Playing hide and seek at home but always giving away their hiding spots by giggling for Galeon, Hollond, and a child PC?

//the way that Grammarly hates Hollond's name lol thank you for the ask anon!! sorry if this reads as ramble-ly, it kinda is! I also didn't really answer the prompt correctly, but... it turned out kinda cute (imo) so it's fine! I had a hard time figuring out how to end this so uh... sorry if it drops off at the end. I should sleep now. It's almost 3am, whoops!

You can hear them looking for you, tugging on floor-length curtains, digging through closets, and checking under beds. With each failure to locate you, they draw closer... and closer... until they're in the room with you. You huddle closer to the ground, hands clasped over your mouth to stifle your breathing, and wait from behind the wardrobe -- You're wardrobe.

"Hm... Not here..." You hear Hollond say softly. You can imagine them looking around ponderingly, knuckles pressed flush to their angular chin. "Where, oh where, could our Sweet Pea be?"

"Did you find them?" Another voice asks. It's accompanied by the heavy footsteps of, Galeon. No doubt he was looking in all the previous places you've hidden.

"Nope. Seems they've vanished. Oh dear..."

"Huh, well they have to be here somewhere. Surprised they weren't in the cupboard again. They're lucky I got hungry or they'd still be in there munching on cookies." There's a long silence, one that denotes the affectionate, but flat look that Hollond probably gave him. "What?"

"Nothing, beloved." There's shifting and you just barely see your blankets get tossed to the end of your bed. "I suppose we'll never find them. They're just so good at hiding and so clever. Whatever will we do?"

You brighten up. You are, indeed, very good at hiding!

You hear Galeon sigh as he sits on your bed. It groans under his weight and you can see the top of his head as he flops down across it. "Our poor, MC, so good at hiding, never to be seen again..."

"Our dear, sweet, child... Hiding so well... Alas!" Hollond's voice hits a high note, and you see Galeon's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. You hear a soft thud, a small blue hand falling into view in a tangle of blond hair. "Gone!! Missing!! Oh, the horror!! The Tragedy!!"

Another bout of silence falls, this time you can see the twitch of Galeon's ears. You feel a giggle building in your chest, threatening to give away your hiding spot. You suck in a deep breath and squeeze your mouth shut until your jaw aches.

"Does this mean I get MC's toys now? That train set looks pretty cool..." You blink, the thought of Galeon, a man larger than a mountain, sitting on the floor in front of your wooden train set is... too funny. The giggle you tried to suppress bursts free as you imagine the man making train noises.

"Oh my! What's that sound?"

"Is that...? MC!"

Two faces slide into view. Hollond leans in from the side of the wardrobe, their hair mussed and stuck to their mouth while Galeon peers down at you from over the top with a bright smile and gleaming eyes. He lifts a hand, waggling one of your toy train's cars at you. You feel something warm and heavy in your chest as you're coaxed out from your spot. As you step out, Galeon takes it upon himself to lift you up towards the ceiling.

"You've returned to us! You almost missed..." He casts a sly glance at Hollond and lowers his voice, "Snack time."

"Another one?!" Hollond shouts in return. You giggle as the giant runs off with you, tucked over his shoulder, the blonde hot on his heels and sputtering. "Galeon Hughes--"

The two devolve into a playful banter with you at the epicenter, giggling.

[soildmud]

reading inky mystery

good morning y’all, it is currently 3AM right now and i have developed some very strong opinions about inky mystery that i need to projectile vomit onto the internet. this is gonna be like a book review so i have some disclaimers/warnings:

#1: this “review” is not intended for the author, TAP, or anyone directly involved with the writing of IM. this is readers-only!

#3: i will most likely say very few positive things about the fic so if you don’t want to see negative remarks about your fav fic/story, maybe don’t read this. and also if you can’t handle strong language.

#4: i have not read all of IM, and there is a reason why. i will explain later on but i don’t need anyone to try and avoid spoilers. i don’t care for this fic enough to worry about that. talk to your heart’s content, i want to hear what y’all have to say!!!!

#5: i still enjoy inky mystery and its concepts and the overall story ideas. i think it’s fun and a cool spin on the original qftim au (an au that had so much potential and such shitty execution) and love how the fic has created an entire community around it! don’t get this twisted, i got nothing against IM or TAP.

now i’m gonna put the “review” (more like a rant) under a cut so as to not take up space on people’s dashes more than i already have lol—have fun!!

with such an interesting and promising premise, inky mystery has so far been a frustrating disappointment. i started reading it a while ago (had to stop because of school) and picked up again last night, hoping to get further into the fic and reach the parts that seem to be much more compelling than the exposition. i’m only on chapter 20 and already want to just stop reading it altogether. the more i progress through this the more i think to myself, “is this fic even worth reading 2.5 million words and 335 chapters?” as i’ve come to the beginning of chapter 21, i’m starting to think it most definitely is not.

obviously the biggest criticism is the length. there is absolutely no reason for why this fic is like 3 times longer than the fucking BIBLE. twelve “books” for what? to leave us in the same spot of the plot for the fifth time in a row when the conflict could have been resolved in almost half a chapter? the over-explanation of everything and the placement of practically useless dialogue is excruciating. i don’t understand how having chapter long bits of the warner shenanigans was necessary; i get it was meant for comedy but i don’t think they should dragged any longer than like a paragraph. their dialogue gets old incredibly fast, and it’s just a hinder to the fic’s flow. and before anyone says anything—I HAVE WATCHED ANIMANIACS BEFORE. in fact, i used to be obsessed with them and watched every episode until it stopped airing in 2014. i know they’re supposed to be the way they are in the fic but Holy SHIT DUDE. SHUT THEM THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

listen. i know this was originally written in 2017, but if you’re still updating this into 2024, at this point you need to remake the whole fic and shorten it. the way the author is updating the fic with basically filler makes me feel like they care more about creating content for their readers rather than actually writing a coherent narrative. you don’t need to take down the OG fic but there has got to be a way to shorten it so it doesn’t take literally a week straight to finish the fic in one sitting.

anyways. apart from that, i need to say that the writing style is so juvenile in a way that feels aggravating. i read the most recent chapter to see if anything changed and while it certainly improved in small ways, i feel like TAP still hasn’t learned how to not make sentences like four words long and dialogue sequences that don’t make up half the chapter. i also feel like the narrative is just…holding the readers hand and explaining every little thing like they expect the reader not to have any media literacy at all. i don’t need to know explicitly that boris and bendy are tired from walking for hours, i knew that from your narration mentioning their legs aching and them getting mucky from clambering in the forest.

next, i hate the random inclusion of unnecessary characters. the way the two detectives seem to only show up when it’s convenient and how the warners were used basically like a deus ex machina is frustrating. don’t introduce so many characters with so much detail and then have them show up like twice. i don’t know how to explain this because it’s almost 4AM now and my brain is foggy but god. when those two fox characters were randomly introduced at the end of idk what chapter to have a completely useless conversation with the detectives i felt so annoyed. i don’t know if they have any real significance later on in the story (and i don’t mean that they show up to say hi later) and honestly i cannot be bothered to find out if they do, but if they don’t, that entire section of the chapter was fucking stupid. let your MAIN CHARACTERS learn information from other sources for the love of god.

in the end, i don’t know if i’ll ever finish Inky Mystery, at least not anytime soon. i had fun at the start and now i’m just annoyed and frustrated. also, to the wiki people, PLEASE MAKE CHAPTER SUMMARIES AND SHIT—IT WOULD BE A DREAM FOR THOSE OF US WHO DON’T WANT TO SIT THROUGH 2.5 MILLION WORDS FOR PLOT AND STORY!!!!

also, i am not claiming to be a better writer or have superior knowledge to TAP. i think TAP is good at writing, but has some flaws that really limit their full potential. i myself am an amateur writer with no training or anything, but i am a reader, so that’s why i’m yapping.

ALSO ALSO, i am not doing this to shit on TAP or IM or anyone who likes this story and everything. like i said, i actually like IM and really want to get into it so i can make fanart and everything, but it has been a struggle and i want to voice that because this is my blog and i use it like a virtual diary. i will continue to skim and push through IM, and will most definitely use it as a learning tool for my own au, SITP.

again, this review was made with zero malice in mind. however if anyone wants to say anything i’m 100% open to conversation, and if this reaches TAP’s screen somehow, please know i’m not trying to be a hater!!! i love your ideas and the community you’ve created, promise!!!! i’m done now cus i’m tired and need to sleep so bye to anybody who read through this beast of a post lol plus i don’t have the energy to write all i wanted to say. sorry if there’s any mistakes i’m falling asleep as i write LMAO

bye!!!!!!

[acircusfullofdemons]

Haiiiii, Luka! I totally saw your ask and I’m not ignoring it, I swear! I’m just to eepy to answer it right now… 😪

But, I still wanted to send one in sooooooo, for Calypso, how about 9 and 20? ☺️

[ ASK GAME ] || @nevermore-grimes Hi Divine! That's totally ok lol I took longer than I needed to answer this lmao. Hopefully by the time you see this you've gotten some much needed rest!

9. What kind of music are you into?

Calypso: OOOh. uhm. Mostly musicals and pop! I REALLY like The Greatest Showman, and my favorite artists are Taylor Swift & Marina. I can also sing almost any disney song from memory, which everyone LOVES and CHERISHES even if it's 3am. My friends/roommates LOVE my random private concerts <3

Cali has like 4 different playlists SO this was kinda hard lol. Generally speaking, there's a lot of high energy songs, showtunes, disney, and various types of pop. Also, yes, all of his friends are annoyed as hell that he keeps singing showtunes late at night. Unfortunately he's incapable of shutting up unless Rowan is involved.

20. What makes you happy?

Calypso: SSSOOOO many things!! I'm very easily entertained LOL. BBUUTTTT what makes me the HAPPIEST is performing on a stage! I love having a life audience and making other people happy <3 acting is like my favorite thing and I'm SO lucky it's my job!!! Getting to be paid to be dramatic with 0 real life consequences is something everyone should experience imo.

[jellybeanium124]

watching a new simpsons episode for the first time since... season 32? and let's be real I don't remember anything past season 29 because the simpsons got reeeeeeeal boring. but taika is in this episode so fuck it amirite? anyways here's my reaction to season 35 episode 9 "Murder, She Boat."

wow the animation seems worse? something is noticeably worse

I like that bart is acting like a 10yo with the vroom-vroom thing. a big issue later simpsons have is the kids acting like teenagers or even adults (in lisa's case)

homer simpson: nerd hater

wow they're parodying that thing from phineas and ferb!! :D (asdfhbsdgjl I know p&f was doing a parody too)

also there was already a simpsons episode where they went on a cruise and it's one of the best damn episodes of the modern era if you ask me (23x19 "A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again")

ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING

"Oh my God is that Taika Waititi?" I stg lisa's had a line like this every since since season 11. STAHP IT INTRODUCE YOUR CELEBS NATURALLY YOU PIECE OF SHIT HD SIMPSONS EPISODE

remember when simpsons celeb cameos used to be good. because I don't because it was all before I was born.

Why is everyone moving weird. seriously wtf is up with the animation they're too damn smooth

"You know it's good, because it's based on existing IP" ouch wow ouch... ouch it hurts

Comic Book Guy acting Like That™ is the only guy who works because CBG is supposed to act like that. Like CBG should be an obnoxious nerd that you'd root to see homer actually beat up lol. not any other random motherfucker!

CBG shredded bart's comic right in front of him??? jesus christ that dude sucks

You can really tell the producers were like "taika, just read the lines" because his performance is giving "taika, just read the lines"

shut up with your vegemite american writers

see it's cute when taika pretends to have a stupidly inflated ego of his own volition but when the simpsons writers make him do it I'm like "BRO ARE YOU OK BLINK TWICE IF THEY'RE HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE UNTIL YOU SAY THE LINES IN THE BLANDEST VOICE YOU'VE GOT!!!"

What... what the actual fuck was that joke with Kumiko. Like her whole character has always been kinda racist but that was such an incredibly racist joke... what the fuck actually for real was that.

The Futurama reference was cute tho.

CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE

there was like, a halfway decent albeit tropey bart & lisa moment in there but then we went straight back into the cringe

"Of course I'll help you. Why? Because I have a medical condition that forces me to be multitasking at all times." ok can everyone shut up forever actually and stop speculating about that man. if the simpsons writers are making that joke it's time to stop

taika actually sounds like he had a gun to his head and recorded these lines for 18 hours until 3am

something weird about the simpsons going on for 35 years is that all the characters sound slightly different than they did in seasons 2-15 now. like they've all aged 35 years and you can hear it in their voices. the kids have this... oldness to them now that, even tho the voice actors on this show are talented as hell, can't totally hide (and who knows they may not be trying to because who gives a fuck it's simpsons season 35)

taika being distracted joke. haha. what if I release the bees on everyone who speculates about that.

I can't listen to the horrible lines they gave him anymore 😭😭😭 "egomaniac" isn't funny 😭😭😭

I mean like it's not like the dialogue anyone else is getting is great either, just to be clear. it's pretty terrible across the board lol. I'm just a titch sensitive to how taika (real man) is being written for... reasons... I mean maybe I shouldn't it's not like it matters and nobody thinks your portrayal on the simpsons is how you truly are. there's a time honored tradition of celebrities being portrayed as egomaniacs or fucking crazy on the simpsons when everyone knows they aren't (bette midler doesn't throw cans at people irl and darryl strawberry isn't a kiss ass... although both those celebrities have their own issues). I guess it bothers me because it is playing up something that's real and fake at the same time, and also this man is getting unduly criticized for a lot of shit rn.

Kumiko's speech was actually painful. "When we got married, I was his priceless collectible." DID NOBODY FUCKING SEE A PROBLEM WITH THAT IN THE WRITER'S ROOM?? DID NOBODY SEE HOW THAT BLATANTLY PLAYS INTO THE FETISHIZATION OF AISAN WOMEN??? Like holy fucking shit what the hell was wrong with the writers of this episode???

wow I love seeing marge and homer be really depressing bad parents -_-

Ok so when Rainer Wolfcastle shouts out his latest movie, that's funny and doesn't bother me. Troy McClure's shtick never bothered me either. Probably because they're FICTIONAL

Lisa said "damn it" ?!?!?!?! SHE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT. Lisa doesn't curse wtf are you doing she'd say "darn it!!!"

cringe cringe cringe cringe

if I had a nickel for every time lisa simpson solved a murder mystery because of the cuprit's signature favorite food being left on a weapon, I'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice, right? (the first time was the 3rd segment in treehouse of horror XV, "Four Beheadings and a Funeral")

taika being mad at people tearing apart his room was the best line delivery he gave in this episode. like there was a real emotion.

sideshow mel saying "who speaks with such an exaggerated affectation!" got 1 chuckle out of me

damn. CBG dropping the doll into lake springfield is just like ed dropping his leathers into the ocean. (not even remotely true)

in conclusion is this a bad episode of television don't watch it

[angelrunners]

Lucifer x reader fluff oneshot because i have SAD HOURS! also it's 3am and i have insomnia xD

I wanna crosspost to watty again but ehhh. Dunno if i wanna go back. ANYHOO.... Enjoy!

Mc had been struggling a bit since they got to the demon world. Lucifer was definitely being kind to them though. He was almost defensive when the others tried anything and would conveniently be there if mc needed him.

Mc gave a small sigh as they laid back in bed, throwing their phone aside in frustration. "Ughhhh...." They groaned, getting frustrated with Mammons shenanigans. You'd think itd be normal by now, but not exactly. Mammon constantly pestered mc for money and attention and mc wasn't having any of it. It was hard enough to have Asmodeus in their face to chat about himself. He was definitely something alright.

Lucifer knocked on the door before opening it, getting hit in the face with a pillow by an angry human. "I TOLD YOU TOO FUCK OFF- ohhhh heeeyyyy...." Mc went red faced and smiled nervously, shrinking down and looking away. Lucifer chuckled a bit and sat in bed next to them, setting the pillow down. "Is everything ok?" Lucifer jumped straight to the point. "No. I mean .... It should be! I'm not even supposed to be here and yet.. I'm so fucking frustrated!! Im trying so hard! I really am, Luci! But holy FUCK!!!" Mc was on the verge of tears and frustrated but couldn't seem to cry. Lucifer gently rubbed their back, feeling mc tense up then slowly relax into his touch. "I will talk to my brothers. There will be no need to worry about it." Lucifer said calmly, it was almost cursed to see him soft spoken. He absolutely only did it in rare occasion....or around mc of course.

Little did mc know. Lucifer was about to enact the texting ban. Mc was ready for anything at this point but .... Maybe not that just yet. Though they were just at the end of their rope and trying hard to not snap unnecessarily. Mc didn't WANT to hurt anyone but definitely just needed space. "Listen I just....i get that I'm a human. I really do. But sometimes it's as if my word means nothing to any of them. I want treated nice and just ... Not seen as just a human or someone to come to when you need money or such. I want to go home...Or at least have some fucking change to how I'm treated ....i must sound silly don't i?" Mc buried their face into their hands and shut their eyes tightly. "I'm a stupid human to you all..." Mc choked out through hyperventilating. "You aren't a stupid human. I am not aware how hard it is to be here in your perspective. But i do want to make sure you are comfortable with your stay. And if you do not feel like participating in things then you do not have to. You have my number and I urge you to use it as much as you need, mc." He pulled them into a soft embrace, his wings appearing and making the hug even more warm and snug as he wrapped them around mc like a huge group hug. He would definitely be kicking someone's ass tonight....

To be continued??

Aka if enough people want me to lol

[goldensunset]

mili anon (again. sorry) and i feel i should've been a bit more clear there was a reason i didn't mention love town when i mentioned "For a Place of Love" (well according to the fandom 2 reasons but primarily this one) and that's because i honestly really enjoy the perspective of someone listening to the songs made for Library of Ruina without actually having the in-game context. It's a pleasant source of evidence that the songs stand strong enough on their own while also being extremely fascinating to me who got into mili through LoR to see the different perspective.

To be honest I kinda ran out of steam after seeing how long that last ask was so I didn't get to cover some of the non-LoR mili songs I really like, like Bathtub Mermaid which is a very gruesome song (like major major trigger warning of self-harm) of giving everything you have up to someone else and molding oneself to fit someone else's needs,,, i love the lyrics where even the song's subject is like "i'll embrace everything good about you... and then squeeze out all the bad things" it really makes you think about who is all this destructive devotion really for? what is even left at the end? aughhhh

(anyways sorry again about how long this has gotten, and the whole "we don't talk about love town" is a blatant lie. from what i've observed LoR fans can't seem to shut up about love town lmao)

ok yes though!!! absolutely!!! like i am aware there’s a story here but i’d actually rather just garner it from the context of the song as opposed to necessarily getting into the media. it’s a fun activity. like musicals that you don’t intend to ever watch but that you love the songs from and you’re like listening closely to the lyrics to figure things out. and i think all these mili songs are so good and well written that you can easily enjoy them without even being aware they’re from media. absolutely fantastic

and yeeeAAAAAAh bathtub mermaid is a favorite of mine too bc i like Wasn’t expecting that. like after a lot of more energetic songs it’s like oh suddenly we have this quiet haunting piano lament?? about like someone committing themselves way too far to an abusive relationship and just wanting to keep hurting themselves because they’ll do anything for that person’s attention including giving up everything they are. like man it gets dark in there. like so many mili songs it’s like uh what’s up with the title lol sounds a bit silly but nope it’s actually pretty genius. using the metaphor of a mermaid who should be free and beautiful but being kept in a tiny little bathtub and constantly in pain. y’know. yeah i love that song it’s so pretty and sad and blorbo-ifiable

ok if we’re on the topic of other ones. how about ‘ga1ahad and scientific witchery’? super fun one. i would love to watch someone piece together an entire original story based on it. i’m getting like this love-hate relationship between a witch and a (cyborg?) knight. who keep killing each other but coming back to life (out of undying hate? out of a commitment to each other? not wanting to kill each other but they’re supposed to be enemies so they’ll fulfill their duty?) whatever’s happening there i love this one it’s a lot of fun. featuring such lines as ‘rise from bed my darling, so i can see you again/so i can kill you again’ and ‘kiss me tenderly gently violently’. bangers. and it’s pretty interesting bc the song doesn’t really have a solid structure or repeating pattern it’s kinda just like each section is a new thing entirely and you think it’s gonna end at this one part but it doesn’t but then when it does end you weren’t expecting it lol.

hm what other ones. shoutout to ‘summoning 101’. girl tries to summon furry at 3am (GONE WRONG) but they still make it genuinely romantic somehow

‘with a billion worldful of love’ is underrated imo. genuine beat drop. and ‘i’m sure next life you’ll love me too’ is excellent blorbo material

[italoniponic]

AAA CONGRATS ON 1K FOLLOWERS MY LOVELY!! you've grown so so much these past couple of months, i am so proud of what you have accomplished on this site! your work is always a joy to read and i am so lucky to have such a talented individual like yourself as a mutual and friend <3

how about a character bingo with yulia's thoughts on floyd? really any interaction with floyd would be interesting lol, so i'm kinda curious on how yulia would interact with the leech twin~

I had to redo this one bc the first time my chrome shut down out of nowhere and I didn't save anything 💀

PANDOOO THANK YOU SO MUCH <333

The event we’re talking about is this one, celebrating 1k followers~ Everything is explained there but basically you can ask my opinions on character or ask Yulia’s opinions on twst characters as well. I guess nobody noticed the first time and my dear Pando here is my first ask but just letting you all know.

Then again, thank you, dear <3 lots of success for you too!! 

[I decided to make a bingo for Yulia's opinions as well just to summarize things and bc it was fun lol]

First things first: Floyd’s nickname for Yulia, “Namazu-chan” (catfish). Yep, a good way to start.

Floyd associates Yulia with a catfish bc the first thing he noticed when she entered the Mostro Lounge in ch3 for the first time was her sideburns (or side whiskers, if you will). Yulia also tends to hide it with side strands of hair. Floyd’s mind immediately went to a catfish’s little whiskers. Incidentally, it’s cat-related and goes with Yulia’s usual motif personality-wise.

Still in ch3, when Yulia was sleeping in Savanaclaw, she woke up 3am upon realizing that (in her country) calling someone a “catfish-head” is saying they’re stupid… so that stupid sticky eel just accidentally called her a idiot! [The Wrath of Namazu-chan!!]

Yulia doesn't know what to think about Floyd. He wasn’t one of her favorite characters when she started to play twst but she doesn't hate him. She would like to be his friend? Nope. Yulia is always looking at him like “why are you the way you are?” almost all the time… but she can be sympathetic when she feels like it too.

They fight a lot in the sense that when Yulia finds herself in need of Floyd’s help, she’s going to find a way to argue her way into his brain and make him do something. She dealt with some troublesome tall guys in school once, there’s nothing new here (Yulia calls him “Electric Pole/Street Lamp” back). She can get mad and brave enough to hit him (no serious damage tho) and Floyd finds that amusing and funny. Probably because it reminds him of Riddle and Epel when they’re mad.

Floyd likes to annoy his little “Namazu-chan” for her reactions. He’s detached enough to mess with Yulia more than he should sometimes or if it requires him to pass through her, why worry about it? (example in ch3) Yulia doesn't take it to her heart, she already expects it.

Though, they can be allies when Floyd catches Yulia in the hallway and asks her to burn down Jade’s monthly mushroom stock because he’s sick of cooking it on Mostro Lounge. Yulia, as fellow shroom-hater, completely understands. In exchange, Floyd tells one or two secrets about Azul and they’re even~

In conclusion: Yulia gives the experience of being around Floyd a simple 6/10. Meanwhile Floyd is just happy that there's another shortie for him to mess with!

[kimmimaru]

This is a ridiculous and rambling, nonsensical post and I’m sorry for it, but I have a lot of stupid late night thoughts I need to write down just to stop it from circling my head. So I’m sticking it on my blog. It’s under a cut so it doesn’t burden anyone’s dash. No joke, little of this makes any sense, it’s essentially just there for my own purposes but obviously if you really want to read you can, just don’t expect to understand it, because I don’t lol.

I am still awake at 3am. Mostly can’t sleep because my brain is torturing me, won’t shut the fuck up. So I’m here, on tumblr, making it worse.  I am having bad times obsessing over my own artistic talents and wondering what the fuck I’m going to do because I feel weirdly restless, like there’s something I should be doing but I can’t work out HOW. Like I need to get my fucking life together. I know there’s no time-limit but I dunno...I’m feeling more and more like there IS and it’s weird and unsettling.  When I was a kid literally the only thing I wanted to do when I grew up (other than become a Jedi) was draw or paint. Arty things are the only things I’m even remotely good at. But I can’t sell anything I make, no matter what I do. So my brain goes; well, you’re just not good enough! And I know I’m good, I just think maybe I’m not good ENOUGH. Which is annoying because what the fuck even IS good enough? I enter competitions and my work doesn’t even get displayed, I don’t care much about winning, but it would have been nice if people could have seen the fucking work. But nope.  I’m 35 and the only perfect thing I’ve ever ‘made’ is my daughter (yes, ok she’s not perfect to everyone but she is to ME). I just wish I could give her more. Having lost my mum (nearly a year ago now) it started dawning on me that I need to leave her something, I don’t want to leave her with nothing but burdens. I know, my mother didn’t mean to, she had plans and stuff but it happened and now my siblings and I are struggling to get shit done and it’s weighing everyone down. And the same thing will happen to my daughter as well and I HATE myself for it.  I feel like I’ve wasted my life, which is stupid but feelings are feelings.  I’ll admit, when I was young I wanted to be famous. I’ve always felt weirdly panicky about dying and being forgotten. It’s hard to explain, death doesn’t scare me, at least my own doesn’t. It’s inevitable. But I wanted to leave behind something. I don’t want to just disappear, if that makes sense. My hope was I could do that through my art. Art lasts. And yes, I have a child who could be considered me leaving something of myself behind but she’s not me, I don’t want her to be me. I want her to be herself. Make her own mark on the world in her own way.  What I WANT to do is go back to uni. I want to study, finally get the degree I fucked up last time around but that costs too much. I want to set up somewhere to sell my art work. I want to travel to more places, although I’ve been to Greece and seen mount Olympus, I’ve been in a hot air balloon over the Nile in Egypt as the sun rose, I’ve been to Bulgaria, skinny dipped in France and seen the remnants of the Berlin wall in Germany (I’ve obviously been to Scotland, Wales, Cornwall and Ireland too) but the world is big and I want to see more places. I want to go to Italy, Japan, Norway and as many other places as I can. But at this point I doubt I ever will. Essentially I’m just lamenting all the shit I could be doing but can’t because money. Same as everyone else I suppose. Anyway, my mum believed in reincarnation and that every time someone is reincarnated they do so to learn something in this new life, but I have to wonder wtf I’m supposed to be learning here because so far it’s not clear at all. Maybe it isn’t supposed to be clear but a nudge in the right direction would help a lot.

[egg2222222222]

i keep accidentally tweeting full on paragraphs on twitter by accident i don’t know why Lol jk i do know why it’s bc i can’t stop freaking yappinguh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i talk about my day and other stuff thay no one gaf about idk why i do tjay and i keep telling myself to write in a journal b it maybe i should just post here idk

whenever k type here i weirdly fall asleep idk why i think it’s cuz im only on here after 3am 😴😴💤 im nodding pff while typing this

o jsut woke up

earlier i was scrolling thru izzy and emma’s tiktoks in so much dam pain im starting gonaYn

i fell asleep again i’m gonna sytTbyweeting like those insufferable peop that won’t shut up about hVjngq a girlfriend golding