#it's 2:30 am. i apologize if there's any mistake in spelling or something. i should be sleeping

[knightofgoetia]

Netflix's DMC cartoon critique.

This critique in particular will (try) to focus on why this adaptation didn't even try to work as an adaptation. It's a negative critique, at least 95% of it is. Mind you, I'll be as respectful as I can be with it. I won't throw literal insults nor saying something is "shit" without giving an argument beforehand — but given the impact the Devil May Cry series had into my life, I'm afraid that I may slip one or two times regarding that. Maybe four or five. Or twenty or thirty.

So, if you're an avid defender of the show, you're actually very welcome to read it, and discuss my points if so. But do not take it as a personal attack towards you, nor people who have gotten into DMC with it. I'm trying to be as constructive here as possible — even if I know I won't, since I'll have lost my energy halfway through.

I am also calling it a cartoon, because that's what it is. 'Anime' is basically a cartoon, yes, but a specific type of cartoon from Japan. And I've never been that much into Japanese media regarding anime, but whenever western cartoons try to fit into that — it's just not it. But that's for another critique, not one for the DMC series in particular.

This will also be a very long post. If you don't feel like reading, then just scroll by, don't jump at me with the "i ain't reading all that" nonsense.

Once that has been cleared up, here are also some extras that are more of a personal thing of mine than elaborated critiques:

a) If you want a judgemental commentary on the series' showrunner and some examples of experiences the fanbase has had with him, go here.

b) If you want a personal point of view regarding Netflix, and how 'pieces of media' are consumed nowadays, go here.

— Other examples of criticisms that are not mine, but I believe were quite on point:

Example One. Example Two. Example three.

Now that I'm all set, I shall begin. Hopefully, I'll keep my tone down, but don't expect much from me in that regard. I tried.

— Part 1: USA centrism.

The "western audiences" are americans. USA americans, particularly, the rest of the continent isn't included either. And of course that I do get why, I'm not that naive, but the world is too big for "The West™" to be just the United States of America.

I think it's obvious by this point (and if you follow my classics blog, you know it), but I am from Europe. Particularly, Spain. I'm not saying in a "look at me, i'm important too" way, rather in a "just like me, the world is full of other countries that are not the USA". Western Europe is the "western audience" too, is it not? I cannot speak for all, obviously, but which part of these DMC series did not scream "made by americans for americans."

There's, and let me get this clear, absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. So why do I bring it up? Well, because it's not the first time a series that is originally set in either its own fictional world, or another part of the world that isn't USA — suddenly gets an adaptation where it IS set in USA. And maybe, just maybe, that makes it lose part of its charm.

Take, for example, when Hollywood announced (with no context whatsoever, and we still don't know anything else) and adaptation of 'La Casa de Bernarda Alba' that was going to be set in Miami, of all places. This work is set in the rural Spain of the early 20th century, and it's about the repression of women in 'the rural Spain' — so again, why would you set it in Miami, of all places? Is it just the place for recording for the sake of setting a place? Are you gonna make all of the scenarios artificial or something? If it's not rural Spain, the work has no meaning at all.

Same thing in DMC. I... I really don't need airplanes with "UNITED STATES OF AMERICA" written on them to remind myself where we are. I don't need to see the USA flag all the time. I don't need them to be in "glory to America" mode during it. Okay, you've taken liberties from the source material — does anything in special come from the show being set in America? No. That's the issue.

The gothic aesthetic, gone. It was already gone by DMC 5, I know, I'm not blind. But even in DMC 5 they keep *some* crumbs of it. Mainly with the first Dante missions. It's not the ideal, and I did miss it back in the game — but it's nowhere near close to the show.

The show's closest gothic aesthetic is the museum scene. Which, isn't good. Why... Why would you keep the Force Edge, which is technically an important artifact with, you see, powers, in a *museum*? Does USA not have any places they can take some crumbs such as ruins, at least, like in DMC 5?

Or... You could have just used another country to set the series in. Or none at all. DMC has had its inspirations, it's obvious, but they do not have the name of the country they're set in written all over the place.

The Resident Evil reference doesn't make up for it, either. Is... Is Redgrave just a bit too much of an edgy game for this, or... Well.

— Part 2: Analogy to the War on Terror.

This... This is gonna be tough. It is hurting me to write it as much as it was hurtful to watch.

So, let me get this straight... The oppressed minorities in this show are the demons. Demons who were made to look, to put it simple, not white.

You made, you know, *demons*. Demons that, according to the dictionary, are vile creatures that carry no humanity in them. Because if they had humanity, they would be human.

Cambridge Dictionary:

"an evil spirit."

Second Cambridge definition:

"a person who behaves very badly."

Oxford Dictionary:

"an evil spirit or devil, especially one thought to possess a person or act as a tormentor in hell."

Second Oxford definition:

"a cruel, evil, or unmanageable person."

Demons being an allegory of the Middle East... Why? Why would you want to portray "the oppressed" as demons, of all things? Making demons 'good' in the show isn't gonna change anything. They're demons. Demons, by definition, are not good.

This is like putting a lion and using it as an allegory for a vegan. A lion, by definition, is a carnivore. It's the animal's nature. You could instead, for example, use a deer — deers are herbivores, yes, but they do chew on bones they do find around to obtain essential minerals that are lacking in their vegetarian diet. In other words, a similar way that humans who are vegan take proteins or similar things to compensate for them not eating food of animal origin.

In this case, you could have used another fantasy race for the allegory — like fairies, who are by definition kind spirits that do nothing but mind their own business.

But not demons.

"They just can't survive in the demon realm, that's why they come to the human world." Look at me. Look at me when you're saying that. The demons are refugees. Demons. de-mons.

"All we're trying to do is survive." Okay. No. Not really. What do demons even need to survive? Do they feed like humans? How is it that they die like humans? The show is trying really hard to make you sympathize with beings that are, by definition, bad ! Making it an allegory to the War On Terror it not making them look good !! For the love of god, they're DEMONS. Just— Just WHY would you choose *demons* to make such an alegory?!

Just... Imagine knowing (or being part of) those affected by the atrocities the show based the Hell invasion on... And then be represented as demons. Minorities that are ALREADY being categorized as demons in our real world by a bunch of fascists... And you portray them like that in a show based on a series that has absolutely nothing to do with that. What's not clicking?

You're not making this point any valid at all if the humans (or, well, americans) are fighting against... Well ! A threat !! Sure, make the 'oppressed' guys demons, make them a reason for humanity to fight against them. Who am I supposed to sympathize with in here... And why? Because "demons fleeing hell because they're treated horribly by their own home" is really not the best way to approach an allegory of AN EVENT OF THE REAL WORLD.

... Playing 'American Idiot' was certainly a choice. But we'll get to the music later. Let's just say that, my guy, isn't this scene supposed to have a dramatic impact on the characters and the viewer? We're watching the (technically) oppressed being in the show being BOMBED AND KILLED and you play "American Idiot". Isn't this like playing a Lady Gaga song during a massacre?

The 'good' demons in DMC are the exception to the norm. And those few 'good' demons don't want to live as demons AND they can't live as demons. The moment you act like a human, YOU ARE a human. That's why Sparda had a human form in the games !

I don't need a story about why the actual american fucking government is bad — sir, I'm very aware ! The showrunner literally should know if he goes around posting this stuff.

Sooo the victim of american imperialism is... Hell? As in. The thing. Were. Bad things occur. There was an attempt, I suppose. Oh. And this happened, too.

— Part 3: ... Lady. Or 'Mary Arkham'.

*sigh* DMC3 spoilers ahead, just in case.

First of all, it's Mary Ann Arkham. Why the 'Ann' is being removed is something I don't get. You're here praising that this new Lady is 'feminist' while the original 'wasn't', and you remove her mother's name, but keep her father's name? Sure, go ahead.

Lady went through half of DMC3 without saying her name. "I don't have a name" has a meaning, and it's that she hasn't been able to find an identity after seeing her mother being killed by her father in a search for power to become a demon. How do you process that in so little time? "Lady" comes from Dante. He said it once, "okay lady", and that was enough to have an impact on her. Because this is Dante. Half-demon, half-human, who has (who knew) family issues just like her. And just as bad.

If Arkham managed to manipulate her with his supposed death in the game, it was because he is still her father. No matter what evil he does, he is her father. And she's never moving on from killing him. Never. Ever. You can't move on from that. It's not a matter of 'moving on', in any case. Just like Dante was never able to fully move on from Vergil's drop into Hell, no matter how hard he had tried.

Meanwhile, Arkham dies when turning himself into a demon. He murders Kalina Ann for nothing. Lady's hatred towards demons stays in the show like that, but... But what is she even looking for after this? To eradicate all demons in the world since her parents died due to, technically, them?

"Maybe a devil may cry when he loses a loved one, don't you think?" That's one of the most iconic lines to come out of the whole franchise that is at least 24 years old by now. Because, no, devils never cry — if a devil does cry, that's not a devil anymore. Lady existed to show how strong humans are without the need to have super strength, hubris or anything else that demons do have. Netflix's Lady doesn't show anything, she's just here to yell at us "yeah humans bad, blah blah blah".

Without power, who can you protect? Yes, true — but what's the point of having power when there's no one to protect? Lady wanted to kill her own father because of what he did, what he was about to do... To humanity. Her mother was gone because of that, and anyone else could be the next.

Netflix's Lady, on the other hand... A cop. A cop who I don't know what ideology she even has at this point. She spends the whole show shitting on demons and cursing all the cursing existing words in the English dictionary... then sees demon refugees and, well, apparently that changes her point of view... aaand then she betrays Dante. That's some interesting character development, she's evolving — just backwards.

You didn't need to make her 10 times stronger than Dante, for her to capture him easily, and to BLOW HIS HEAD WITH A BOMB. You don't need to turn the 'protagonist' into a bloody mess to show me how powerful the ¿heorine? is in this show. If she's 10 times more powerful than demons then — then why are they considered a threat in the first place? Not to mention her swearing, because remember kids, this is for adults, in case you didn't notice. Gore and gore, swears and swears. She genuinely said 'fuck' in four sentences IN A ROW. Not even I with my anger issues swear this much.

She just commits police brutality all around because "america bad" and all that, I get it — but again, her character *doesn't evolve* and the flashbacks do not explain her hatred towards demons either...? Yes, your father turned himself into one, but WHY would he, if demons are incredibly weak in this thing?

Oh, and, I'm afraid I do not recall her age in the show. In DMC3 she's supposed to be 16-18. I don't think she should be the leader of a DEMON HUNTING GROUP THAT COMMIT POLICE BRUTALITY with that age. The Vice President substitute being a groomer for Lady was... Also a choice !

Because humans bad, guys. You get it? Humans only do bad things and act without thinking. Demons... Apparently don't do that, I suppose? Genuinely why would Lady side with people who insist that "we as a nation can do better" and then proceed to colonize Hell. Of all places.

"devil spawn motherfucker" are. are you being serious. right now.

She's a genocidal sociopath (she was already a sociopath in her childhood flashbacks ! what !), and what was the point of Arkham in the backstory, anyways? And Kalina Ann? The rocket launcher was a fucking cameo.

Lady pointing a gun at people who haven't done shit ?? Okay ma'am. Why are you a fascist. What does this have to do with trauma anyways.

Her speech about Sparda? You CAN'T be dramatic when saying "he one day went 'hey this is evil as fuck'", that's not a speech, that's a damn Twitter post.

— Part 4: "Wacky woohoo pizza man".

Jeez. The protagonist not being protagonic sure is a choice as well. And the worst part? Dante is the least badly done in here — that doesn't mean he's the Holy Grail, either. This interpretation of him is just mediocre and forgetable, but better than awful, I guess.

He really just exists. Does he, like, do anything else besides the jokes? The jokes that are, mind you, not funny ! "Your mom" joke from DANTE? Please. PLEASE someone hold me before I say very, very bad things regarding that.

I get it, Shankar, you like pop culture. I get it, really. No need to shove it in my face. But he doesn't do anything else ! The fights have no point if he's gonna lose them anyways for no reason at all ! Why ! Is he ! So ! Weak ! What has he been up to since the damn childhood even of 'my mom died in front of my eyes'? How has he been a mercenary if, like, mercenaries have no plot relevance in here? What do you mean —i breathe in and out— what do you mean. What do you mean he 'got bored' of his missions. What do you fucking mean.

Ok, I get it, it's an AU, they can take liberties — Dante still would not do that. Like. No matter how well or bad he is characterized in any interpretation, he never leaves a mission unfinished, even more if someone is in danger. BUT OF COURSE NO ONE IS IN DANGER HERE BECAUSE DEMONS ARE GOOD BUDDIES WHO ARE BEING KILLED BY HUMANS BECAUSE HUMANS ARE BAD AND THE TRUE MONSTERS AND WE SHOULD GOT EXTINCT DID YOU GUYS GET THE MESSAGE —i breathe in and out— that sure was a way to simplify a character into... Comedic relief ! It's your protagonist, for the love of god. How did he go TWO whole episodes without appearing AT ALL.

Also, Dante not knowing he is half-demon was, once again, another choice ! So the government knows but he doesn't? They can explain that nonsense as much as they want to, it won't make sense to me even once.

WHAT was that Devil Trigger awakening. WHAT was that. Generic action scene for such a crucial moment in original Dante's life? Sure, take creative liberties — but what's the point of those liberties if the changes are gonna be boring and not changing anything in THE SHOW'S OWN PLOT at all? It just looks like the normal, average power-up the hero gets for no reason other than, well, being the hero.

— Part 5: Sparda and Eva.

I think that I've lost any sort of professionalism by now. I apologize. I promise I didn't want to sound like this.

But... Sparda being morally gray? Almost depicting him like some sort of fascist? What does that add to the plot, exactly???

Sparda, who, fell in love with a human woman and realized that his own kind were nothing but monsters. Sparda who rebelled against his own kind and HOME for the sake of the ones who were being killed while they did nothing but have the capacity to love ! That Sparda. A... "morally gray" character according to the script in this.

(the way the show describes him isn't even the definition of "morally gray", but there was an attempt in that intention i guess)

The design really doesn't help — and saying it has to be 'simple' so animators have less trouble is... Ridiculous. I'm pretty sure many complex designs have been animated before? You just pay people for the job and... That's it.

Not like he even showed that much, why waste so little in a figure that is supposed to haunt the narrative?

People saying he's... Hot? Are you guys being serious? Can you please raise your standards a bit? Things are more deep than a figure who haunts-the-narrative to be hot, holy shit, we're not fourteen (... most).

That's not "more simple so it's easier to animate" it's straight up badly done. What are those horns. What is that quality of the million dollar company. Help me.

ALSO. OF COURSE HE'S A "DEADBEAT" DAD. OF. FUCKING. COURSE. RIGHT. WE'RE ALL WITHOUT FATHERS. ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN'T HAVE A DRAMATIC BACKSTORY WITHOUT YOUR FATHER ABANDONING YOU THE MOMENT YOU ARE BORN.

Just why? The twins did know their father in the original story, he didn't disappear the moment they were born. Again, what does it add to the plot? So Dante doesn't know that he's half-demon? BUT SOMEHOW THE GOVERNMENT DOES? So you're telling me you threw into the trash his whole self loath regarding his nature, which is, like, a base of the character? DANTE, YOU HEAL VERY FAST, HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT FULLY HUMAN.

Take liberties my guy, but there's a difference between "taking liberties" and straight up changing the plot to the point it has absolutely none of the essence from the original source material besides the NAMES. It just makes it look like you grabbed the IP's name to gain attraction, because if not, the show wouldn't have as much interest.

Again, you picked a story that isn't yours, and tried to make it yours. As GRRM said: "there always seems to be someone on hands who thinks he can do better, eager to take the story and 'improve' on it. Then they make the story their own. They never make it better, though."

About Eva — well, I don't have much to say. It's one of the few things that followed the original narrative... And maybe that's why it wasn't bad ! Who knew ! Right. Who knew respecting the source would do well. Sucks that she haunts the narrative as little as Sparda in here. Being a "single mom" is her biggest trait in the show, instead of her whole symbolism back in the games. Are we being serious here.

How did she even raise the twins alone? What's her job? Is she rich? If so, why? Did Sparda leave her anything? 8 episodes and you couldn't even throw in a line for context? A LINE AS TO WHY DEMONS KILLED HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?

— Part 6: Secondary characters.

Lady's squad and Enzo, absolutely the most irrelevant thing I've seen in centuries. Their deaths hold little to no meaning. You could have removed them from the show and nothing would have changed at all. What were we even trying to achieve here? Didn't we say that humans bad? Why are their deaths supposed to be awful now? Weren't demons in the right? Weren't the demons fighting their oppressors? Make up your mind !

... And that's all. I guess that they fall under the same category as Dante. They're mediocre, not awfully bad. So I suppose that's part of the 5% that's not dreadful from the show.

And of course the deaths needed to be the most grotesque gore an american cartoon has ever shown. Because adult shows, am I right. DMC5 is the closest to that with the intro cutscene, and it carries way more impact.

(Enzo's design also sucks. But. Who am I to judge. And why does the squad look like DeviantArt OC's for the love of god. Girl what's that makeup.)

— Part 7: The White Rabbit.

He was my hope for this show. My damn "at least the villain will be intriguing and has the good design from the manga!" sort of hope. BUT NOPE ! His whole tale of vengance has absolutely no meaning like any conflict in this narrative ! Yeah ! Peak writing !

So. Why was this guy even here. His purpose in the manga was to bring Dante and Vergil together so he could get both amulets. If Vergil gave him his amulet willingly (Jesus Christ when I get to Vergil), why the hell did he go through the whole "down this rabbit hole" thing. What did he achieve. Dante is a weakling in this, he didn't need to take that much of an effort.

Was he just having fun being a furry? Guess I'll respect that, because they adaptated their design really well. Shock. A good thing from this mess.

Not to mention he turned out to be an OC that really didn't add anything to the plot aGAIN. SHOCK. I KNOW. He's a human and that makes Lady sympathize with him suddenly, instead of calling him a hypocrite for torturing demons as he experiments on them while saying he wants to save them ! SO SUDDENLY BY BEING HUMAN HER MIND CHANGES AGAIN? Girl get a grip.

Just look at how much Dante's ass gets beaten up buddy, you didn't need to go through all of that to get him, and the damn dialogues with Dante aren't helping either. They feel... Empty. Why was Dante trying to pull a "i can fix him" in this? Sir, my guy, my buddy, Dante, my dear — Lady immediatly agreed with the White Rabbit when he was revealed as a human. You can't fix anyone in this place.

Who is even supposed to be the antagonist in this show to begin with? Aren't humans bad and demons good? And that's the basis of the White Rabbit? But then demons bad because look how they react to humans and humans are being killed and the White Rabbit is a hypocrite, sort of? So demons are the good guys because they're being oppressed and just want to survive, but then apparently they'll only be "genocidal" if they step into the human world?

It's just one point contradicting the other. And taking the current real life events of the world... It's so painful to watch.

What a waste of a good design. WHAT. A. WASTE. The White Rabbit was so well animated and shown ! The voice acting was really good, too. It was one of my few hopes for the show, really ! But I am not defending an imcomplete villain... Or antagonist... Or whatever the furry is. I'm tired boss.

— Part 8: Vergil.

Eh. Where do I begin. It's been two days and I haven't recovered from the shock. The shock of seeing a character that was so well and beautifully written regarding traumatic experiences in a fucking action game... Being turned into a bootlicker towards the main villain. Or. One of the villains. I suppose. As if the writing was able to explain correctly everyone's role in this shithole.

Look. I tried. I really tried, I did. I promise I did ! I tried watching this twice ! Everything else, no matter how bad it was, was his own thing. Not my DMC whatsoever. Okay, cool, I can live with that. Yes, sure. I can accept the butchered Lady and Dante. I can accept the poorly written politics in it. I can accept incomplete villains due to inconsistencies.

But Vergil? Vergil??? The character blinded by trauma? The protagonist's other half? The Mr. i-am-haunted-by-a-past-i-cannot-go-back-to? The damn Mr. haunts-the-narrative-without-even-doing-anything? Mr. i-rather-slice-my-brother's-hand-rather-than-letting-him-follow-me-to-the-pits-of-hell-which-he-doesn't-deserve? MR. WHISPERING DANTE'S NAME WHEN HE WAS LOOKING AT HIS OWN REFLECTION ON THE YAMATO???

He wasn't just turned into a "generic villain" no. No, no, no. I would have wished it was that. Boy, do I wish.

WOW. JUST FUCKING WOW.

You guys are such good writers ! I can't believe I'm shitting on the "it was my father's fucking enemy who freed me" ! You made such a brilliant narrative compared to the original character who brought to us THOUSANDS OF ESSAYS and ACTUAL PSYCHOLOGISTS ANALYZING HIM regarding his whole story !

Now, trying to speak in a more... Serious way. If I can. I'm trying.

Nelo Angelo. One of my favorite concepts regarding Vergil's character. Imagine being enslaved like a mindless puppet for fighting for over a decade — and in here, that is turned into "oh no, this is just my powerful form after Mr. Bad Guy saved me because Mr. Bad Guy is absolutely awesome and he made me cool". Like. Not even antagonist or generic villain. He's the fucking "sidekick".

Is Mundus even supposed to be 'Mr. Bad Guy' in this IF DEMONS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OPPRESSED. I DON'T GET IT. MAKE UP YOUR MIND. ESTOY CANSADO JEFE. APRENDED A ESCRIBIR GUIONES. SANTA MIERDA.

Imagine being able to recognize your brother after a decade of imprisonment in Hell, but he's not able to recognize you due to how much Mundus has changed you. Identical twins. The same face. The same blood. Identical twins. A single thing separated into two back in the mother's womb. But he doesn't recognize you due to how much you've changed. And that's when you realize what you have been turned into. That there is no way back for you.

But add the 'funny haha' line at the end, and you're done ! He's the storm that is approaching guys ! Like the meme ! Like the only line we know from the song ! He's so cool ! Despite the fact that he has none of the reasons to act the way he does behind that damn line !

Vergil is... A very particular character. He's very unique in the entire world of videogames as a whole. Just like Dante. Just like Lady. Just like Sparda. But unlike those three, he wasn't just turned into your "average western characters", he was turned into a trope. A trope.

'But what if being raised by Mundus turns out interesting? What is he's brainwashed?' You really think he would side with the ones who killed his family in the show?

'But what if he's infiltrating?' ah, yes, and killing other guys in the process. They really took the whole AU thing to an extreme and made a villain a "what if Mundus was just misunderstood? 🥴" and then ya'll will be with the 'we want villains who are evil just because back!'

— Part 9: Symbolism.

I think it's obvious that I'm growing tired by now. I tried to keep calm, but the more I think of it, the more infuriating it gets.

The soundtrack PLAYS NO ROLE in the narrative. Something that amazes me from DMC and the fact that it's an action game is: how the soundtrack tells things from the narrative. "Devils Never Cry" is an iconic song for a reason — and they went and used it for the ending. That... That was A Choice™ ! Once more !

Do the lyrics of "Devil Trigger" not mean anything to you? For you to throw it into Dante's awakening of his DT for the sake of it being a DT? Did you forget the implications that it has with Nero? Since you're putting odd covers instead of the original versions too, but not enough for the lyrics to change their meaning TO THE SCENE THEY PLAY IN — I guess bringing Evanescence into your amalgamation was too much already. And, see, this is the only good part of the soundtrack that made sense. Because wHO KNEW THAT MAKING AN ORIGINAL SONG WAS BETTER THAN BUTCHERING ALREADY EXISTING ONES. WHO KNEW HUH.

WHY IS BURY THE LIGHT THERE. I don't care if it's popular, it has a MEANING and that meaning has been straight up butchered in the show. The show it's a different thing, I know, it's an AU, I know... But for the love of god that's like putting a Sabrina Carpenter song while a character is being killed or something.

What role did the Plasma even have in here? Why did it take Vergil's appearance if it didn't do anything to Dante at all? It lasted for three seconds. And was never brought up again. Sure, it was brought to show 'hey Vergil is actually alive because the Plasma can only mimic people who are alive!' Why... Why would he still do that with Dante. What's the point.

None of that symbolism is seen in the designs, so what gives? None of the symbolism is seen in the weapons, so what gives? None of the symbolism is seen on the demons, SO WHAT GIVES? Why putting there demons like Echidna or Agni & Rudra, if you spent the 8 episodes showing demons looking as human as possible? So are you telling me only the demons that look human are the good ones? No shit ! Hadn't thought of that ! You need to be human to show HUMANITY ! What a shock !

"Crimson Cloud" is also there. I'm sure I heard it. And again, WHY is it here? Why do the lyrics not mean anything to you? You heard 'fight for your life' and called it a day, didn't you? Because this was just a paintball match but with actual weapons with people and demons killing each other all the time for genuinely no reason other than YAY BLOOD !

Isn't it hilarious how out of the 4 character themes from DMC 5, they didn't include DANTE's theme in particular. And if your argument is "Subhuman sucks" i'm gonna block you directly. That's one of my favorite songs ever. They didn't use "Subhuman" simply because the lyrics make no sense with this Dante. A Dante who didn't know he was half-demon, who didn't spend half of his life depressed and with self loathing due to his own nature — but then again, neither do the lyrics of "Bury the Light", "Devil Trigger" or "Crimson Cloud" fit what is being told... So? So what is the fucking excuse for not including it???? That it's "a bad song"? That is doesn't fit you 'I'm a 2000 guy yaaay' vibe? I'm gonna chop off your tongue.

Actually, no, no... I'm thankful that one of my favorite songs ever was actually NOT included in this thing, so that when I listen to it I don't remember that butchered version of Dante.

"We're here to entertain ourselves, not to read a book", okay, that's fair. Why don't they just do Generic Action Series Number 34™ and call it a day, then? Oh wait, I know, because taking advantage of an IP's popularity is nothing new ! We've been doing this since the oldest works from mankind ! Just HOW many times have I seen a 'classic' being turned into whatever the hell the modern viewer 'enjoys' watching — and it strips off the entire original meaning and concept THAT MADE THAT WORK A *CLASSIC* IN THE FIRST PLACE?

— Part 10 (and finally, last): Cameos.

I gave it a chance because I was told that Lucia showed up. My hopes got up. I thought that they had genuinely put thought into this thing. I thought that, even if it wasn't canon, it would show care and appreciation for the series... That it was 'a love letter to the series' as it had been promoted — but of course, I was proven wrong. Yet again.

So, uhhhhh we have the city from Resident Evil. Megaman for some reason. Nell Goldestein is only mentioned for that??? WHERE THE HELL ARE EBONY & IBORY. LORD. Lady's rocket launcher is used once, for the "point and yell" I suppose. Cindy flirting with Dante was... A choice, as well. And she has no roller skates, when that was a very cool detail for a secondary character ! And all the pop culture references are just *not* it. Even without the DMC skin on, that's yells 'how do you do, fellow kids' so much.

... Lucia appears for three seconds, and she's almost as pale as me.

Say sike right now. My guy, don't you, the showrunner, have that similar skin tone. I genuinely never thought I would be complaining about a SKIN TONE of a fictional character. But here we are.

That's not a lighting thing, my guy, she's in the complete darkness. A bit more and they would have thrown her into the "dark-skinned characters whose skin is grey". I haven't used the term 'whitewash' even once in my life, given how little I interact with fandoms. But, lmao, this is literally that. There's so little poc characters in the series — and you do this?

I wouldn't be surprised if they butchered Morrison into this thing and used the 2007 anime's design instead of the one from DMC 5. Because, out of ALL the things they can take from the 2007 anime, they will take the ugliest design there could possibly be in it !

(Please don't touch Patty. Stay away from her.)

My brother in Christ, you won't have me yelling and pointing at the screen thanks to "references". For the love of god, think about the writing first !

*deep breath* because, after all, this all would have been avoided with good writing ! Genuinely. The music and cameos could have been so fun, and fit so well, if your script wasn't absolute ass (saying that with all due respect, which is none).

— Personal addition.

The constructive and objective critique ends here. This last part is a more personal addition, given how THE series that has had such a big impact in my life has been turned into a generic action show, that is treated as the Holy Grail because people lack critical thinking and will consume anything that shows the protagonist's abs. I can't believe that's a defense argument. How are you guys so basic.

Well... Devil May Cry came into my life just about a year ago, thanks to a mutual. I still hold said person very dear to me, due to many reasons, but this being one of them. I had no idea about DMC, nothing. I only knew the protagonist's name and that it was an action game.

The memes always kept me away, because I thought it was about that, after all. Generic action game about combos and funny hahas. And I need lore, I need a story. I need something else to be in it.

It was this comment that I myself made back then when said mutual spoke to me about the series, that made me give *all* of the games a try:

I knew nothing. I didn't even know about Vergil's existence, for example. I genuinely went to the first game thinking it was going to be just "pew pew die evil creatures" or "Resident Evil with memes" ... And then Nelo Angelo appeared.

That's why netflix's choice of changing everything about that concept pissed me off so much. It's the concept that made me CONTINUE, that made me play THE REST OF THE GAMES. That showed me DMC was a damn Greek tragedy and not just a 'funny haha' meme shitshow !

From there, it just kept on increasing. Some downs here and there, due to a company's awful decisions of not giving enough time to get a game done, but overall, it surprised me how much these series affected me. I told my therapist about them. My therapist.

Any side material, even the niche ones, I searched through them all. Heck. Games, novels, artbooks, interviews, mangas... The Tony Redgrave concept was so impactful. Beryl is the love of my life. DMC3 got me crying over a video game, after almost seven years of that not happening again. The 2007 anime showed how much you can do with little budget.

The protagonist was someone I wasn't used to. The antagonist was a perfectly crafted character regarding all the good kind of stories that I enjoy. The female characters are an insane detail, I can't believe there's so many of them, and I absolutely adore them all.

... So. Take all of that creative series, that has had such a big impact on my life as much as the Odyssey, the epic poem, had on me when I was just 10, and has been stucked with me for a decade. Those creative series that are making me feel the same thing that epic poem made me feel as a child — and turn them into a generic action series, with little to no symbolism, with some sort of political message delivered wrong because it keeps contradicting itself.

And with people calling me 'retard' or 'tourist' or 'hater' or 'whiny bitch' for voicing these current thoughts. For people saying I'm being 'mean' to new fans, when I simply told them I don't get the hype over such a messed up plot — I even offered myself recommendations as to where to start with the series !

I guess this being my hyperfixation to the point where I couldn't do basic tasks, to the point it made my chest physically hurt, to the point it made me cry just thinking about it, to the point of losing my breath when I was (supposed to be) talking about it to a friend casually — none of that matters to them. I'm being mean for trying to get them into the series that changed my life.

I'm not saying "anime only people you suck ass" no, I'm saying "for the love of god, don't shit on the original IP to praise the show".

I have to take what's given. Even if it's not even the bare minimum. Even if it's brought to us by an egocentric jackass. I have to enjoy it, because it's content. I'm being an 'ungrateful fan 'and a 'whiny bitch'.

I prefer not having any more content to play, read or watch, rather than to have bad content about said thing ! I don't need a retelling, nor a bootleg universe, nor an adaptation, to keep my interest going. I don't need it to be turned into a content farm to be satisfied. I liked what it had. What it had is what got me into the series.

I love Devil May Cry for what it meant, not for entertainment only.

And I tried to at least aceept the Netflix cartoon. I've watched it twice, to be able to write this precisely — or well, I tried, since at the second watch I stopped at episode 6. I couldn't. I can't. It feels disrespectful.

It makes me nauseous to see that someone is egocentric enough to claim that he is saving a series that... Didn't need any saving in the first place. "From the visionary mind of Adi Shankar" dude, dude that's not advertising. Get your head out of your own butt.

It's scary. Scary that this type of people have so much free time and money on their hands. There were a lot of things to 'adapt', as the word really means — and you picked not even one !

I'm not saying it has to be completely the same ! Not a 1:1 adaptation ! But it didn't need to strip the original meaning of WHY A DEVIL *MAY* CRY !

If you did enjoy it after reading this, I'm glad, I really am ! I'm very happy that you were able to see something marvelous in it that I didn't, that's beautiful and I'm very happy for you. (None of this last paragraph is sarcasm. Disclaimer.)

Albeit, maybe I was a bit too selfish, and dumb, to expect some extra content on the characters that have meant so much to me. That have both ruined and saved my life unironically. Maybe it's elitist to want that, maybe, I've never denied it.

Perhaps I'm overreacting. Perhaps it's just a silly cartoon. Perhaps.

But I wanted to cry like I did with DMC3 when I watched the series — and I didn't. I did cry... But of rage. Rage, frustration, and impotence.

Just consume. Pay. Praise the minimum effort. Wait for the next product. Repeat.

[applerubyy]

Ciao Adios

Summary: When you find your boyfriend cheating on you yo decide to expose him in the pettiest way you can think of.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (some Loki x Reader if you squint)

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Cheating and cursing (I think that’s it?)

A/N: Hi! So this is my first time writing and posting anything here so if its terrible please tell me nicely :). This is some AU where everyone lives and all is happy ok? Also english is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes. Anyway, if it turns out that some of you like it I think I’d be willing to do a part 2 if you like. Hope you enjoy it! <3. Btw, the gif is not mine so credit to whoever made it.

Crack. That’s the sound of your heart breaking, ripped to pieces in just a few seconds. And no, you were not exaggerating. Seeing your boyfriend kissing someone else while taking off their clothes would do that to a person. And in his office of all places.

How did you not see that coming? They had a lot in common and they did spend a lot of time together but you were just so naïve thinking that he was the most trust-worthy person ever that you looked the other way and believed him when he told you she was “just a friend”. 

Just a friend my ass you thought as you calmly walked to your room. No running, that would draw attention to you and you didn’t need that. No crying either, because once you started you wouldn’t be able to stop. Walking down the hallway and taking the elevator to your floor feels like it takes forever. 

Time is funny that way. It has that annoying tendency to slow down or speed up at the worst times. Like when you were in college and the clock seemed to literally stop, you would look at the time and it was 10:20 am and check again after what felt like half an hour for it to be 10:25 am. Or like when you are having fun with your friends at a club and you see it’s 12:30 but when you look again a few minutes later it’s 2:40. Right now it feels like the former, time seems to have slowed down. Maybe Dr. Strange did something to it? No, that’s stupid, he wouldn’t play with time that way.

Finally the elevator pings open and you rush to your room. Well, it’s not only your room anymore. You share it with him and everything is a reminder of what you just saw. The art supplies on the desk by the window, the famous shield leaning against the wall near the door, the messy bed where you sleep together every night …

And every single thing brings tears to your eyes until finally, the dam breaks and you let the tears fall down. You bring your hand to your mouth to muffle a sob that brings you to your knees. Crying is the only thing you can do right now because your brain is stuck on a loop. All you can see is Steve kissing her, unbuttoning her shirt with one hand while the other grabbed her ass. And all you can hear are their moans, Sharon’s whimper when he touched her and his groan as he did so. 

And now you are full on crying and choking on air because that scene keeps replaying itself over and over no matter how much you want it to stop. And you do, Gosh you do because there is so much your heart can take and this is too much. It shatters you in more ways than one. It makes you question everything you thought you knew about him, about her, about your relationship and about yourself.

You remember the first time you met him. You were already in college and looking for an internship. Luckily you happened to be the niece of the one and only Pepper Potts. And who wouldn’t want to work near Earth's mightiest heroes? You sure did. You were studying journalism and communications in New York and working with the Avengers was the ultimate dream, one that was about to come true.

Your first day was uneventful, it consisted mainly of coffee runs, delivering files and passing messages along. That was until your third coffee run where you ran straight into a wall, well actually it wasn’t a wall but it felt like it. The coffee spilled everywhere, on your clothes and his, and you were going to fall on your butt if it wasn’t for him grabbing your arms to steady you. Imagine your surprise when you looked up to see Captain America himself.

And that’s the moment your love story started. It seemed like something straight out of a romantic comedy and you loved it. It started with flirting, a date and then another, him asking you to be his girlfriend and finally asking you to move in once you graduated. It felt like a fairytale.

Tony wasn't very happy about you and the Capsicle but he saw how happy you were so he tried to be happy too. Tony was your uncle even if you didn’t share any blood. Growing up you would visit your aunty Pepper in New York and he was always around, you even stayed at his house when Pepper and him had to work. So, you two became really close even before he became Iron Man and started dating your aunt. 

The same thing happened with Rhody. Your close relationship with Tony meant you were close to him too, seeing as he was one of the most important people in his life. Rhody treated you like his niece and was the only one he didn’t make fun of which you took as the ultimate compliment. 

So those three you knew before you started working at the compound and before Steve. But once you started working there you met the rest of the Avengers. Being Pepper and Tony's niece and Steve's girlfriend meant they all wanted to get to know you. 

You met Bruce Banner, the Hulk, and you became really close. But that was thanks to his close relation with Tony and all the time you spent with him working on his social media presence to make sure people saw him as more than just the green monster who smashes things. After a while of working there they promoted you and now you manage the Avengers social media.

Nat and Wanda became your best friends from the moment you met. You just clicked and hung out as much as possible, being the only girls on the team meant they were really happy to have another female added to the mix. As for Vision, he liked you because Wanda did, simple as that.

Bucky and Sam were the funniest people ever, their constant bickering always brought a smile to your face and they welcomed you with open arms. Happy that their friend had finally found someone to be with.

Thor and Clint were like the fun uncles you got to see every once in a while. The God of Thunder was like an excited puppy and would hug you till you couldn’t breath every time he came to Earth and Clint would joke around with you and FaceTime you when he was with his kids because they loved you (“best babysitter ever” that called you).

You met Peter when he started working for your uncle. He was a sweet kid and your love of memes, vines and pop culture made you instant friends. He would ask you for advice on girls and tell you science jokes.

But we all know not all fairytales have a happy ending and this one definitely didn’t. You’re feeling so many things at once. There’s anger, sadness, jealousy and something else you can’t put your finger on. You keep crying and are unable to move from your kneeling position on the floor. Checking the clock you realize you’ve been on the floor crying for an hour so you stand up.

Taking a shower seems like the best thing to do, your head is pounding and your face is all puffy. As you shower it hits you, that other feeling swirling around is inevitability. In a way you always thought he was too good for you, you always thought he would eventually get tired of you and trade you for someone else. 

It just hurt too much that it was her, the woman he shared so much with. The niece of Peggy Carter, his first love. An agent of S. H. I. E. L. D.  Someone who risked their life for the world like he did. Someone prettier. Someone better than you.

Yeah, you were definitely on a self-pity party. But you needed to be miserable for a while, to cry it all out, to hurt so that you could move on to the next stage of grief: anger. And when that came, there was no stopping you.

You weren’t a mean person, or a petty one. You gave everyone countless opportunities and forgave way too easily so you never really got angry. But when you did, when you said enough is enough, yeah, you better watch out. That could be the meanest bitch you ever met and she had no mercy.

So you got out of the shower, dried yourself and started getting ready. Tony was throwing yet another party about who knows what and you were not missing it. You liked parties, they were the perfect excuse for wearing pretty dresses and putting on make up. And tonight you were going all out. 

Your inner bitch was concocting a plan and you were going with it.

You hear the door open and prepare yourself to put on the best acting of your life. You take a deep breath and in the sweetest voice you can muster say: “Steve is that you babe?”

“Yeah doll it’s me” you hear him say. A few second later he pops into the bedroom and gives you a peck on the lips as you continue with your makeup.

“How was your day?” Steve asks as he takes off his clothes, probably to take a shower. “I missed you today, i went by your office but you weren’t there” he says with a small frown between his eyes. You could stare at his blue eyes forever but snap out of it when you remember what he did. 

“Oh not much, i left work earlier to get ready for tonight” you answer. Shit your work. You really did leave like that, but after tonight hopefully they’ll understand. “You should start getting ready, the party starts in thirty minutes”.

He smiles at you and tells you he’s going to take a quick shower before getting dressed. He goes to the bathroom and you feel like breaking the mirror but instead take a few deep breaths and remind yourself he’s getting what he deserves later on. With that in mind you finish applying you makeup and smile at yourself, you look good. Moving on to your hair you decide to do some loose waves and that’s it, you really don’t know how to make those complicated updos.

Steve gets out of the shower and starts putting on his suit. Men really do have it easier you think to yourself when you see all the work you had to do and he just showers and that’s it.

You take your dress out of the closet and admire it. It really is beautiful. It has a deep plunging neckline that shows a lot of cleavage and is skin tight with a slit on one side. The fact that it is silver with sequins makes it even better. Pepper helped you pick this dress. 

You put on the dress and admire yourself in the mirror. You look good. Behind you, you hear a whistle and turn around to see Steve watching you lust in his eyes. He comes closer and grabs you by the waist, pulling you to him.

“You look stunning” he says as he wets his bottom lip. “I can’t wait to take it off of you when we get back”. Lying cheating bastard.

“Can't wait” you lie as you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. This is just a kiss goodbye you tell yourself. One last kiss before he’s out of your life and probably runs to her. Tears threaten to fill your eyes but you hold them down. Not now.

You break the kiss when the need to breathe is too strong. Grabbing his hand you start walking towards the door and say: “Come on, we’re already late”.

——————————————————————————

The party had already started once you walk in and in true Tony fashion it is elegant and extravagant. Everyone is there: S. H. I. E. L. D. agents, the Avengers themselves, politicians and a few famous people. 

You and Steve walk to the bar and order drinks. A whiskey for him and a strawberry daiquiri for you, yes you are that basic but hey, it tastes awesome. He offers you his arm and with drinks in your hands you start looking for your friends. A lot of people stop you on the way, nobody wants to miss an opportunity to talk to Captain America.

One thing, or rather on person, catches your attention: Loki. He’s sitting on one of the cushions alone with a drink in his hand. It’s weird to see him there. Sure, he was redeeming himself for what he did in 2012 and Thor said he was doing better but he rarely left Asgard (he “hated mortals”) and when he did come to Earth it wasn’t for a party.

As if he could feel you staring he turns his head and locks his eyes with yours. You weren’t going to lie, he was gorgeous. He was incredibly tall, had those charming green eyes and was actually funny (but you’d never admit that to anyone). But you were in love with Steve and never saw him as anything more than Thor's hot brother. And everyone in the Avengers was hot so that’s not saying much.

You turn away from him and see Nat and Wanda on the dance floor and you tell Steve you’ll see him later and to go find his friends. He’ll need them after tonight you think to yourself. You greet the girls and start dancing with them, for a moment forgetting about what you saw today and putting Loki out of your mind.

The three of you decided to take a break and order some more drinks. Once at the bar Wanda orders for you and when your drinks arrive you go back to the dance floor. You spend the next few hours dancing, talking to your friends and pretending that nothing's wrong. Talking to Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong. Hugging Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong. Kissing Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong.

The fact that Sharon is at the party doesn’t help at all. When you see her talking or touching him you feel like you’re gonna lose it but you remain strong. You remind yourself of your plan and try to keep them out of your mind.

There’s a small stage at the far end of the room and you see your uncle Tony step on it and grab the microphone.

“Hello everyone and thank you for coming to another one of my amazing parties. I hope you are having a good time and taking advantage of the free bar over there” he points to the other side of the room and continues, “Now for what we have all been waiting for: karaoke! And yes, i want everyone to sing something because that’s the whole point of this. I'm looking at you Manchurian Candidate, you’re singing”.

With that he gets off the stage and passes the mic to Sam who decided to sing a Marvin Gaye song. He’s pretty good actually but you can’t fully concentrate on him because your mind is going a thousand miles an hour for what it’s going to happen later.

More people go up and sing their songs and you applaud when they’re done. Nobody is talking much, they're all too busy either laughing at the others performance, drinking or actually listening to the songs. You’re sitting with Steve to your right, Bruce to your left and the rest of the Avengers nearby. You’re your own little group.

It’s finally your turn and as you walk to the stage you can hear your friends whistling and cheering you on. Once you’re up on the stage you choose the song and start singing. 

Ask you once, ask you twice now

There's lipstick on your collar

You say she's just a friend now

Then why don't we call her?

So you wanna go home with someone

To do all the things you used to do to me

I swear, I know you do

Used to take me out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when I ring you up

Don't know where you are

'Til I hear her say your name

Used to sing along when you played guitar

That's a distant memory

Hope she treats you better than you treated me, ha

As you continue singing you get more and more confident and take the mic. You walk off the little stage and over to your friends while dancing and you can see them smiling, clapping and having fun. They have no idea how much i mean all of this you think. You look at Steve and he’s completely oblivious. Good, you want to take him by surprise. You arrive at your little circle of friends and start singing the chorus.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her

Kissing and having fun

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

Ciao adios, I'm done

Ciao adios, I'm done

You keep dancing and go back to back with Wanda who’s also singing along. You then turn to Nat and she grabs your hand and makes you do a little spin. 

After three, after four times

Why did I bother?

Tell me how many more times

Does it take to get smarter?

Don't need to deny the hurt and the lies

And all of the things you did to me

I swear, I know you did

And now you take her out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when she rings you up

She know where you are

But I know differently

Now she sings along when you play guitar

Making brand new memories

Hope you treat her better than you treated me

You go up to Tony and he starts dancing around you busting out some dad moves. You laugh and keep on singing and dancing.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her

Kissing and having fun

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done (I'm done)

Ciao adios, I'm done (no, no, no, no)

Ciao adios, I'm done

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

And now you take her out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when she rings you up

She know where you are

But I know differently

Now she sings along when you play guitar

Making brand new memories

Hope you treat her better than you treated me

You walk back to the stage as you sing and step up. You put the mic back into place and sing the last part of the song.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her (with her)

Kissing and having fun (and fun)

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done (I'm done)

Ciao adios, I'm done (you get on with your life, I'll get on with my life)

Ciao adios, I'm done

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

When you’re done people are clapping and cheering and you look to your friends to see them all smiling. You look at everyone and make a little mock bow and when you straighten you see Loki sitting on the same couch as before. But this time he’s looking at you and he’s laughing, not smiling and cheering but actually laughing.

You look back at your friends and say “Thank you, thank you” with a smile on your face. You continue , “I wanted to dedicate this song to my boyfriend Steve” you point at him.

“In case it wasn’t clear enough, i wanted to tell you that i saw you with Sharon”. You could hear a pin drop. No one was talking and all eyes were on you. This is what you wanted, to humiliate him as much as he did you. And what better way to do it than publicly? Oh but you weren’t done.

You could see Steve's face going pale and nobody knew where to look, if at you or at him. Tony look ready to murder him as did Rhody, Pepper, Peter and Bruce. Thor, Clint and Vision looked shocked. But Bucky, Sam, Nat and Wanda looked guilty.

Your heart breaks a little more when you realize they knew. You can’t really blame Bucky and Sam for not telling you, they were Steve's friends after all. But you thought the girls were your friends, that they would have told you. Apparently you overestimated that friendship.

You keep on smiling and continue “So… I’m breaking up with you. Hope she was a good fuck and wasn’t uncomfortable with the fact that you were once in love with her aunt”. You do a dramatic pause and make a little disgusted face. “Anyway, if I’m lucky i´ll never see you again. Have a great life!”

And with that, you walk off the stage and make your way to your friends. Steve is rooted to the spot and his face is red with embarrassment. You walk up to him, look him straight in the eye and give him an evil smile. He gulps and opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something and then closes it. He does is two more times and still nothing comes out.

You turn to your group and look at Wand and Nat, who can’t seem to be able to look you in the eye. You sigh and say: “Who want enemies when they can have you as their best friends right?”. They look up then and start talking. Telling you how sorry they are and to please forgive them. You raise your hand to silence them and they do.

You go to your aunt and uncle who look like there should be smoke coming out of their ears and say: “I’m gonna stay in a hotel for the night, can’t stand to be here anymore”. Tony scrunches his eyebrows and look at you like you’re crazy.

“Hell no. You’re staying here. We can find him another room to sleep in but you’re not leaving. If anyone’s leaving is Mr. Star-spangled over there” he practically screams the last part as he points at Steve.  

You take a deep breath and hug him. It takes him by surprise but he puts his arms around you. “I appreciate it uncle Tony but i can’t stay at the compound, it just hurts too much” you say as you let go. Turning to your aunt you hug her as well and say: “Thank you for everything but I quit”.

The moment those words leave your mouth everyone starts talking at the same time telling you how crazy you are and to think about it. You just smile at them and tell them you already made up your mind. “I'm gonna go pack a bag and ask Happy to take me to a hotel nearby. Please make sure he doesn’t follow” you say as you point to a still red-faced Captain America. 

With that you turn around and leave. The room is silent for a few seconds before you hear your friends all screaming at Steve. You look around for a second and notice that Loki is staring at you with a smirk on his face. When you look him in the eye he raises his glass at you ant takes a sip. 

You give him a small smile and walk through the doors towards the elevator.  

[xnchxntmxnt]

𝐼 𝑊𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑁𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑒

𝐵𝑜𝑘𝑢𝑡𝑜 𝐾𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑜 𝑋 𝐺𝑁!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

So we spin the wheel of HQ misfortune (yes, I actually have an app with all the characters I feel comfortable writing rn and spin it when I’m out of ideas) (yes it works this is how you guys get your content) and I decided Y’know what. I’m gonna make my friend happy so I made @sugasfanfics a wheel and bam it landed on Bokuto so here you go bro love u hope you like this

This is half self-indulgent half for u Em lol sorry

Remember not only are your problems valid but the way you deal with them is, too (as long as it’s not hurting yourself or anyone else, please don’t do that—). Even if it’s a fictional boy you love, remember that someone always cares about you. I promise.

Kinda half edited lol bad grammar & spelling mistakes.

CW//light swearing

Word Count: 876

Reader Info: GN!Reader, fukurodani third year student

Ao3 link

Masterlist

You’d been on edge the entire day. Who knew how it started, you just felt like hell the whole day and everything got on your nerves. Whether it was kids in class or the volleyball that collided with your shoulder while you were trying to do homework, everything seemed to want to set you off today. 

“Dammit,” you curse under your breath, rubbing your shoulder. You hit the ball back to one of the boys, who gladly picked it up with a quick “sorry!” and ran back on the court. 

You were at Bokuto’s practice—the two of you were supposed to hang out afterward, but really, you were ready to go home and sleep for several hours. You felt bad canceling, though, so just tried to keep your cool long enough to get through the rest of your evening. 

Soon enough, they broke for water and Bokuto came running over to you with a smile on his face. “(Y/N), baby, did you see that AWESOME spike? Didn't I look cool? Akaashi said I look cool!”

“I just said it was good, Bokuto.” Akaashi walked past, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Eh, same difference.” He shrugged. “Did ya see it, (Y/N)?”

 “Yeah, it was great, Bokuto.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his proud drop to a pout. You could have sworn his hair started drooping too. Rarely did you ever call him by his full name—when you did, it usually meant you were mad at him for something. 

He sat down next to you, his lower lip sticking out like a child’s. “Baby, did I...do something?” he asked, running his hand through his hair. 

“You’re fine,” you sigh. “It’s just...been a long day, alright? Not your fault.”

He nodded solemnly, offering his hand for yours. When you gave it to him, he kissed each of your knuckles, “let me make it up to you when we get to my place, okay? Parents aren’t home tonight, we can cuddle and watch a movie, yeah?”

“Alright,” you reply as he kissed your hand again. “Quit worrying about me and go be my big, strong Ace of Fukurodani, hm?”

Bokuto grinned and nodded. He took a sip of water before running back onto the court, leaving you alone with your thoughts again. 

The walk home was less enthusiastic than usual, almost like Bokuto didn’t know what to say. You let him talk as much as he wanted, but he stayed quiet for the most part, watching you intently as you walked. 

The two of you walked into his house and took off your shoes. Bokuto offered some food, but you declined, your irritation from earlier sinking into melancholia. 

“Alright, what’s wrong?” he asked, setting his school bag down. You opened your mouth to protest—he had homework to do—but he interrupted. “Homework can wait. I’m worried about you, sweetheart. Wanna talk?”

He held your shoulders, checking your face for any sign of what was wrong. He was still more droopy than normal—not his usual excited, eccentric self—and you could tell by his worried expression. 

“There isn’t much to say,” you sigh, putting your hand over one of his. “Just...long day, I guess. Burnt out.”

“Do you want a hug?”

“I wouldn’t complain about one.”

He pulled you in close, dropping his arms to wrap around your waist. You laid your forehead on his shoulder, content to stay like that for a long time. 

Just as you’d gotten comfy, he started moving, inching you backward until your legs hit the edge of his mattress. He pulled away long enough to crawl in and drag you with him. You laid your head on his chest, feeling his thumb draw shapes into your side. 

“What’s really on your mind, love?” he asked, kissing the top of your head. “I get worried when you don’t talk to me. So please do.”

“There’s not even anything specifically right now, I just...I feel like hell. For no reason. I didn’t wanna tell you because I didn’t want you worrying—“

You stopped as he tilted his head up towards you. The look he gave you made you freeze, unsure what else to say. He traced your features, smiling in encouragement. “I am always going to worry about you. That’s my job. I’m your forever-caring, amazing, loving boyfriend and I’m always going to care for you. I want you to talk to me when you feel like hell, even if it’s because you want to scream into oblivion for a while. If that’s the case, I’ll scream with you. Alright?”

“Alright,” you mumble, burying your face in his chest again. “I’ll keep it in mind. Do you want to just...I dunno, lay here? Just for now?”

“I would want nothing more.”

He kissed your head again, the small circles he drew on your arm soothing your cluttered mind. You knew you needed to talk one day—even if it was just the recent stuff without getting into in-depth character analysis of yourself—but for the time being, you knew you had someone there to help you face whatever demons you needed to. Because he always would be. 

Your precious, forever-caring, amazing, loving boyfriend, Bokuto Kotaro.

Alright you guys are welcome to scroll through this part just a little rant/apology from me

My brain has not been doing so hot lately so I can’t guarantee a constant posting schedule. I tried posting like 1-2 times a week but this is the first full thing I’ve written in several weeks and I’m sorry about that. It’s like 1:30 am when I’m writing this so this is probably gonna be jumbled up a lot but just. 

Brain hates me and I hate brain rn and it says I have No Motivation to do Anything. Only reason I got this out was bc of @sugasfanfics which she doesn’t even know I wrote this till I post it lol

Also this was supposed to be for her but like I said it kinda turned into I’m depressed and need comfort so. Yeah. Bokuto. 

I hope you guys enjoyed & I’m sorry about not writing as much as I should be. Thank you for bearing with me and for all the reblogs I can’t tell you how happy they make me. 

Sending love to you all <3

~𝑆𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟

[tviseverything]

Ok I need to rant to you guys about something real quick...

I still believe that Hosie is gonna happen whether that may be for a short time like how Tyler and Caroline started dating in TVD or for a long time/endgame like Damon and Elena, they are still gonna happen. 

Let’s look at the facts here: they both had a mutual crush on each other (which was verbally confirmed by both Hope and Josie: “I had a crush on you.” “I had a crush on Josie for a week when we were 14″). In Josie’s subconcious, Josie was the one who suggested that Hope should kiss her and Hope declining basically saying that if the kiss was consensual then yeah she would kiss her but it wasn’t consensual so that wasn’t the answer. (��You should try kissing her maybe” “A non-consensual kiss is never the answer.”) Both Hope and Josie have both been what the other needed in terms of a relationship. Hope needed someone that was worth staying for or wanted her to stay and Josie was the one to tell Hope that she wanted her to stay at the school even though her presence is what broke Josie and Landon up and made him leave. Josie needed someone that would never give up on her and Hope was that person for her when she never gave up on trying to get Josie back after the dark magic consumed her. Hope knocked down anyone in her way to get the real Josie back by locking them in the dream world. Another fact is that in the alternate universe that ginni created, Hope and Josie are clearly interested in each other at first glance and then later we see them flirting on the couch in the school. The alternate universe provided to us that Hope’s life was always going to be intertwined with Josie and at one point even date each other. They even went as far to show that Hope’s life in intertwined with Josie’s when in another alternate universe Hope doesn’t exist and Josie is dead because of that. 

So while the writing done by Julie Plec and others have been spotty as of recently, I trust that she wouldn’t write this stuff in if she wasn’t going to make Hosie canon even if it was just for a short while. So like another user @lexa-kom-skaikru has said before, I believe that Hosie could happen in the second half of season 3 or season 4. I know that Josie’s new love interest might discourage that possibility but we don’t how long this new character will be on the show for and if Julie is thinking about relationships long term, then Hosie is the right choice. Julie Plec has never outright discouraged Hosie or even encourage it to an extent but she has told us that she is considering it especially when she tweeted that they considered a Hosie kiss in the season 2 finale but decided against it. She even told us to watch the scene to show why they decided against it and while I may be reaching with this right now but her tweet sounded almost like a promise for something in the future. And that is why I still have hope. 

P.S, if you see any spelling mistakes on here, I apologize. I am currently typing this at 12:30 in the morning right now and I woke up very early this morning so I’m about to crash soon. And I would write so much more but I am so tired. 

[arazialotis]

Give it Time - Part 2

Pairing: Eventual DeanxReader, SamxReader

Word Count: Around 2900

Summary: Months have gone by since the boys lost their beloved Y/N to Zachariah. She was transported to another world. That’s all they had to go on. But now that Y/N has been returned, she struggles to recall any memories of her past with the Winchesters, and the ones she does remember seem to conflict with reality.

Part 1

Warnings: Language

For me, this is just a hobby, coping skill, and a way to get silly fantasies out of my head. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors. I appreciate any feedback or suggestions!,

----

The pillow that engulfed you may as well have been a magnet, pulling you in deeper and protesting against the morning. Though you hadn’t had a drop, your head spun with a grogginess only a hangover could produce. Afraid and unsure of what reality you’d wake to, of which one you wanted to wake to, sleep seemed the better alternative. Pending consciousness became increasingly hard to deny. Sheets that were not your own rubbed against your skin and without seeing your surroundings you knew you were still in this foreign world. 

When protesting the day was no longer relevant, you forced yourself to meet it. Sitting up and taking in the cold room around you, the shock of yesterday lingered. In a single moment, the world had tipped upside down and your dreams had become reality. Well, not all the dreams, some twisted version. Give it time, immerse yourself in the world, find your place, and remember. 

To do so, you’d actually have to leave your room. The bunker was still and quiet. Your feet padded on the chilled floor to the kitchen. You riffled through the fridge and cupboards but were left unsatisfied at the selection. There was a fresh pot of coffee on, but the thought churned your stomach. Nerves won over hunger. 

Something shuffling in the library caught your attention. You went to investigate. A smile crept over your lips upon seeing Sam with his nose stuck in a book. It was the way things should be. You sat down opposite of him, the sound of the chair scuffing the ground pulling him from the trance. 

“Oh.” He coughed and stood up to formally address your presence. “How did you sleep?” Once his shock dissipated, he realized his stance did not match yours and sat back down. 

“Fine.” You nodded, unsure of what else to say. 

“I made coffee.” He eagerly offered. 

But you shook your head and politely declined. “I’m okay.” He cleared his throat again, wanting to know if anything came back but afraid to ask. 

The awkward silence got to you, as did his gaze. “I.. um.. Maybe, if you don’t mind, you could uh, take me for a tour.” 

“Yeah!” He jumped up with a little too much enthusiasm, and toned it down. “I mean. Yeah. I could do that.” “Cool.” You followed his lead. 

In all honesty, the tour droned but you were thankful to have his lingering eyes off you. With sincerity, you did ask questions to learn more about this place. But a wintery, hollow feeling remained. Memories didn’t spark nor did feelings of belonging or attachment. 

“Well. That’s about it…” Sam wrapped up before a small chuckle. “Unless you want to see the garage.” 

Finally, a tug. “I’d love to.” He furrowed his brow at your unexpected response. “Really? Oh, okay.” He led you through steel double doors to a room shining with glossy exteriors. 

“There she is.” You beamed, running ahead of Sam to the Impala. 

Your hand caressed the pristinely waxed hood of the car as you drew closer peering inside the window. Cassettes and magazines were kept neatly in a box on the passenger's side. A necklace dangled from the rearview mirror and a package of unfinished licorice sat in the middle of the bench. 

“Can I?” You asked Sam for permission. 

“Of course.” He held out his hand encouraging you. 

You went for the handle of the back seat, the door creaked open and you slid in. Sam waited outside but shut the door behind you. Closing your eyes, you leaned your head against the back and breathed in. A musky scent warmed you finding in it the hint of leather, licorice and gunpowder. With a peaceful sigh, you laid down across the bench, imaging the vibrations rumbling through you. This was it. This felt like home. 

Sam hid his disappointment, seeing you had more of a reaction to a car than him. He chuckled. “Should I leave you two alone?” 

“Oh my gosh.” You moaned as if coming down from a high. “Would Dean totally kill me if I snuck out for a joy ride?”

“I…” Sam contemplated. “I think he would be a lot more comfortable in the driver’s seat.” He noticed the disappointment on your face as you shimmied out of the back. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you on the road soon enough.” 

You followed Sam out of the garage, glancing back at her as you went, stopping before you fully exited. “Sam? Was I a hunter?” You had naturally assumed but had nothing to confirm. 

He laughed as if it were obvious. “The most kick-ass one ever.” You blushed from his admiration. “Shut up.” You scuffed your shoe against the ground. 

“I’m serious. Rather cross a hungry pack of vamps than you any day.” He turned back to the bunker and you followed inside. “Though we won’t test it ‘til you get your feet back.” You weren’t sure if you believed it now, hearing the words come from him. But how else would you have gotten tangled up in the head-spinning lives of the Winchesters? Exploring a bit for yourself now, you winded up at the shooting range. The amount of arms on the wall shocked you. It was enough for a militia, let alone three hunters. A small ivory handgun sent a shiver down your spine.  

Your hands felt clumsy handling it, as if they weren’t met to hold such a deadly thing. Trying to muster the strength in Sam’s words, you took aim for one of the target’s at the opposite end. You braced yourself as best you could for the shot and recoil, finger resting on the trigger. Pulling back, the gun simply clicked. With a huff, you set it down on the ledge. The safety was on or it wasn’t loaded but you had no idea how to tell. 

***

The day dragged. Back home, or you know, the reality where you were trapped, the day would be filled with work, errands, chores… life. And here, well, maybe you were just bored. But it was because nothing was happening. They were dancing around you, treating you like you were made of glass, waiting for something to snap. But it wasn’t. Maybe coming back was going to be more gradual than anyone thought. Unless, you could find Zachariah and force him to reverse the whole thing. Had they considered it? 

The thoughts racing around your mind was an endless tangled web keeping you up at night. If you were going to go after an angel, maybe you should work yourself up to it first. The brightness of the screen blinded you for a moment against the dark of the room. Your thumb hovered over the screen, blanking on where to start. Typing in “murders” seemed futile but actually prompted some interesting responses. News articles popped up and you scanned a few looking for any details that stood out. 

Nothing of bite marks, animal attacks, missing hearts. You yawned and rubbed your eyes before shutting the laptop, setting it aside, and shimmied your way under the covers. Wiggling to get comfortable, you found a spot and closed your eyes, focusing on breathing. Until a twinge in your back acted out, you rolled to the side. Another. Rolling again and huffing in defeat. Your eyes found the red numbers of the alarm clock; 1:10 AM. You closed your eyes again, swirling with thoughts. 

“Y/N, no!” Dean yelled through the fog of your mind. 

But you wouldn’t listen. Angel blade in hand you charged at the unknown enemy. 

A bright flash of light. 

Opening your eyes again, the clock read 1:30. 

“This is stupid.” You muttered to yourself. 

You shuffled out of bed, rummaging around until you found a light jacket and a pair of flip flops. Although it was quiet, you slowly peeked out into the hall looking both ways, feeling as if you were a toddler asking to get into trouble. Satisfied you were alone, you turned the flash light on your phone and headed out the hall.

Cautiously, you retraced your steps through the hallway, to the kitchen, through the library until you reached the stairs in the war room. The stairs slightly creaked under your weight as you ascended. There was no intention to run, simply to get out from underground, to breathe some fresh air and let your thoughts escape rather than be trapped in. 

The door was heavy as you pushed against it freeing yourself to the outside. The night air was warm yet you pulled the jacket against you, looking up at the stars. You wandered a little, up a nearby hill to a clearing to get a better view. 

The crisp air filled your lungs and a wave of peace rushed over you. You turned your flashlight off and sat down in the damp grass. Attempting to forget your troubles, you studied the night sky; looking for known constellations, curious if they were the same stars you knew back home, wondering if that brighter speckle was actually a planet, catching a glimpse of a shooting star and making a silent wish.

As time passed, you forgot about the past, forgot about the bunker, and just felt as you were in this moment. A twig nearby snapped. Instinctively, you rolled to the ground, reaching to your back for a gun that wasn’t there. “Shit.” You hissed. “Hey, hey.” Dean’s calming voice brought you back. “It’s just me, Y/N. Just Dean.” You sighed in relief, sitting back up. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He came down and sat next to you. “No, I didn’t mean to scare you.” “It’s okay.” You said, looking at him now as he gazed up. He glanced your way and you averted your eyes, thankful the dark was concealing the blush in your cheeks. “Couldn’t sleep?” “Nah.” You stretched your arms over your head, then questioned his presence. “How’d you know to find me out here?” 

Dean yawned, you now noticed his mussed hair. “You tripped an alarm. Took me a second to realize it was you, but uh, I remembered you used to come out here at night. Sometimes.” “Oh, god. Sorry…” He cut you off with a chuckle. “Stop apologizing Y/N. It’s okay.” “Maybe you could show me, so I avoid them next time.” “Yeah.” He yawned again and laid down on his back. You joined him, the both of you staring up and the night sky. “So what’s keeping you up?” 

The dream replayed through your head. Dean’s voice echoed. “Y/N, no!”

“Oh, I don’t know. Nothing in particular I guess.” You cleared your throat. “It’s like being at a hotel for the first night I guess, just need to settle in and get used to a new environment.” 

Dean hummed as if he understood. 

His silence caused you to ramble further. “And, well, I don’t know…” You bit your lip wondering if you should continue. “I guess I thought things would be different. Like, I imagined what it would be like to be on an adventure with Sam and Dean… not like I actually thought it would happen… but, now that I am here.” You glanced sideways at him, studying the outline of his face and sighed. “Yeah, I guess I just imagined it differently.” 

Dean pondered for a few minutes. “In what ways?” 

You chuckled. As if you were going to reveal how you felt about him. “Well for one, having actual memories.” You could feel Dean’s grin through the dark, it was contagious. “I don’t know, like pie at every meal.” Dean’s smile gave way to a snicker. “I mean, I wish things were that way too.”

You licked your lips before turning to your stomach so you could better watch him. His eyes were closed yet he was relaxed and content. The constellations no longer grabbed your attention the way the starlight barely showed the freckles on his face, counting them instead. 

“I thought,” You continued. “That the bunker would be warm and cheery instead of foreign and cold. I thought I would naturally just fall into place and belong.” You sighed, wishing for his arms to wrap around you. “And I thought there’d be this epic soundtrack to everything we did.” You smirked trying to lighten the mood again. 

“Just wait until we get back on the road, there will be.” Dean assured. 

“Motoring.” You softly yet uncontrollably sang out, surprising yourself. 

Dean’s voice was soft as he went an octave or a few higher than normal. “What’s your price for flight.” 

You giggled and joined him. “In finding mister right, you’ll be alright tonight.” Dean and you sat back up. “See, you just gotta make your own.” The two of you held your gaze a few moments too long. Dean broke away first. “As for falling asleep, I might have a trick.” He led you back down into the bunker and you reluctantly followed knowing he wasn’t suggesting what you hoped for. Through the maze, the two of you found your way to a large room with a foosball table and tv. You plopped down on a big leather couch, perhaps a little too close together. 

Dean turned on the tv and scrolled through Netflix landing on Star Trek Next Gen. 

“Picard!” You exclaimed. 

“Nerd.” Dean snickered back at you. 

“Shut up.” You teasingly nudged him with your elbow. 

“You’ll be out in no time.”

You playfully gasped. “What the hell are you talking about? I love Star Trek.” 

He silently chuckled. “So you say, but trust me, there’s no way you are conscious by the second episode.” 

“Wanna bet?” You cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“What’s the wager?” Dean unconsciously licked his lips. 

“Pie. Obviously.” He chuckled again. “You're so on.” 

Dean easily won the bet. Not even 10 minutes in, you began nodding off, your head slowly starting to tilt in his direction. As soon as you became quiet, the heaviness hit Dean too, the early hours of the morning hitting hard. He yawned and stretched his arms, one settling around your shoulder drawing you in a little closer. The two of you drifted off side by side without even realizing. 

He was the first to wake finding you tangled on the couch together. Your face buried into his chest and his hand protectively over your head. He slid up careful not to wake you. The tv screen glowed as Netflix asked if you wanted to continue watching. Dean rubbed his eyes and looked for the remote turning it off. He rubbed his hand through his hair as he stood, turning around to admire how peaceful you looked asleep. He gently covered you with a blanket before leaving to scout out some coffee and breakfast. 

The bunker was quiet and stale until Dean made his way closer to the library, the sound of furious typing growing louder with each step. Dean made his way there, finding Sam on the computer with an intensity he hadn’t seen since you first disappeared. 

Dean treaded cautiously. “Mornin’.”

Sam refused to look up. “Looks like you had quite the night.” He snipped. 

“Shit.” Dean muttered to himself. “Dude, it was nothing.” Sam raised his eyebrows unconvinced and stopped typing. “To you maybe.” Dean’s face grew confused. “She’s obviously more comfortable around you.” 

“Stop.” Dean challenged. “She just needed help falling asleep so I turned on Star Trek like the old days. What happened after that was purely accidental and unintentional.” Sam scoffed unconvinced. “It’s been two days Sam. You can’t expect things to fall into place immediately.” 

Sam shut his laptop and held his head in his hands. “I’ve waited so long for this. And now, she feels farther away than ever.” “I know.” Dean agreed for sympathy’s sake. “But she’s starting to remember. I know it doesn’t feel like it but she is. Slowly.” Sam sighed and looked away. Dean fished in his pocket, pulling out the ivory gun. “I found this out in the range yesterday and unless it was you playing with it…” He handed it forward. 

Sam took it from him, a spark of hope fluttering inside. Out of all the guns, you had picked out the one he had given you. 

“She was up at her old spot last night, would’ve shot me if she had it on her.” Dean chuckled. “And uh, she had a glaze over her eyes, the one only a hunter gets. I think she’s remembering more than she's letting on.” 

Sam recalled how you had reacted to the Impala. It was the most comfortable he had seen you so far. “What if we got out on the road, maybe took an easy case.”

Dean grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know. Seems kinda fast, too dangerous.” “Not with us both there, every step of the way, keeping her from any true danger.” Sam argued. “Maybe that's what she needs, to help jumpstart the progress.” 

“Let’s leave it up to her.” Dean suggested. 

“Leave me up to what?” You walked in, yawning and stretching, hair an absolute mess. 

Sam stood up to greet you, eyes wide like a frightened puppy afraid you may have overheard his frustration. “About going on a hunt?” He stammered. 

Your eyes lit up, the grogginess of the morning instantly fading away. “Yes! I’ll go pack my things!” You ran out of the room.

The boys shared a smile with each other surprised by your enthusiasm. 

“I guess we're going.” Dean stated. “You gotta case?”

“I’ll find one.” Sam dived back into his laptop, his heart racing with hope.

-----

Tags: 

Forevers: @mogaruke @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @jotink78@blushingdean @sup3r-pott3r-lock3d @dancingalone21@carryonmyswansong @atc74 @superapplepie @cassieraider@adaliamalfoy @iwriteaboutdean @spnbaby-67@monkeymcpoopoo @adoptdontshoppets @maddiepants@onceuponathreetwoone @thisismysecrethappyplace

Dean x Reader: @akshi8278 @boxywrites @its-not-a-tulpa @tacklesackles @aubreystilinski @iamabeautifulperson18@jerkbitchidjitassbutt @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @ria132love

[postcards-from-absurdland]

No offence but I totally do not get the frequently described experience of 20-somethings having problems making friends compared to their childhood/school years??? I would really like to know your perspectives on this!

And I want to emphasize that I do not use the term “friend” lightly here, but rather with it’s Polish conotations. And in Polish, it doesn’t only mean “people you’re friendly with”, but rather “these close people who would let you in if you showed at them unannounced in the middle of the night”?

My viewpoint and personal, individual experience with what it’s like making friends in your 20s - below. I guess it only has as much value as individual stories do, but maybe it’ll ring with someone??? Probably not, eh.

Also, lots of spelling/grammar errors, I guess.

Idk, maybe y'all were just super chill and well-developed emotionally as children, but up until turning like 21 I was a Total Trainwreck of a Person when it came to socializing with Anyone. The only social groups I got to experience on the regular were either mandatory like school, or parent-approved (because I was just a goody-two-shoes, and emotionally abused), where I was constantly bullied and depressed,  feeling inadequate in literally everything I did. I got to know some lovely people on conventions or summer camps but I was just too insecure, anxious, neurotic and self-absorbed to truly keep in touch. Every time I wanted to initiate conversations or activities I spend hours agonizing over minor details and possible pitfalls, and then I like, went to sleep because it was already 2 a.m. and I had to start organ practice at 6:30 the next day??? I have like, 4 friends from that period still in my life, and bless them cause honestly, I wouldn't befriend myself at 15.

And now??? Well, now I am still a depressed, anxious mess (though diagnosed and treated!) who runs in stress-circles for weeks or hours, as much time as I get, before any pre-planned outing or social interaction. And I’m still a weirdo who generally prefers not talking to people.

However, provided that I have any energy left in my health bar (rare occurance), a bit of spare time and some dispensable income (and honestly not that much of either of these), I can create so many friend-making opportunities for myself???

I try to befriend my coworkers (though it never worked so far) or people I do evening studies with (they all intimidate me so I really cannot, but it is an opportunity, right?). I could meet people via doing charity work, on joining free classes at community centres, or when possible by attending lectures or meetings at the library or museums? Or I could get back to going to conventions when they reappear?

I have friends among people at my church choir and bible study. I am friends with 2 of my many former roommates. I have a few friends from university, folk dances, Irish dance classes, Lindy-hop classes, board-games testing, traditional singing workshops. I am working on befriending some of my husbands friends (who are all frankly intimidating and so adult that it’s scary). I join communities online, I have friends met via fandom forums, I am active in online groups surrouding my favourite creators, I join local less-waste fb groups, groups or servers about stitching, or baking, or clothes reselling or whatever, and I have started there some friendships that changed into something really close down the line.

Cause now, as opposed to years ago, I can actually get to know someone online and then meet them in person! With the added benefits of having much more experience in sensing rancid vibes, and not ever being ambarassed about taking safety mesures for such meetings if I decide to go, because it is NORMAL! And I do not need anyone's permission to do any of it! 

I have my own (rented) space that I can arrange and use as I see fit (that I share with my husband hence also sharing in it’s use and maintnance), and this includes (when deemed safe) hosting people if I so wish (best to ask husband for input before), or choosing to go into recluse and not open my mouth to anyone for days (sometimes includes husband). I don’t need to instantly write back to someone, and I don’t need to theorize internally on their feelings towards me, I don’t need to feel shame for having life outside of my friendships, and it doesn’t invalidate them. If you showed up at my doorstep at 3 a.m.? No worries, what do you need? If you send me memes at 3 a.m., however? I cannot text back for I am fast asleep, and I am not ashamed of that, as noone should be.

I am not ashamed at all while forming relations, in fact, especially compared with my school-years self. Not about who and how I am, having needs, setting boundaries, having baggage and vices that I'm working on. Not ashamed to decline, to forget, to lose touch. Not afraid of falling off someone’s radar. Not tormented by occasional mistakes. Not scared to apologize. Not mad or self-loathing when it doesn't click or falls through. (I still find enough things to self-lothe over, don’t you worry!)

I also do not need constant contact, constant reassurance, constant validation. I don't need any one of my friends to provide for all my emotional needs. I am not mad or sad or feeling broken for not being a centre of someone's life all the time.

Or at least, I'm working on all this, and more. As I tried to write in asides, I am still not the best-adjusted person you’ll find on this earth, by a long strech - and not the most friendly or people-loving, either. 

And yet, I do have friends, and I make and mend friendships all the time.  Most of my closest adult friendships sort of developed in the background, when I was just busy living my life. Maybe I just matured emotionally, maybe it’s finally getting my meds sorted out, or maybe it’s Maybelline, but I am now surrounded by a world in which there are many souls that I care for, and even more that I simply do not know of yet.

It by no accounts means that “if I can do it, anyone can”. That’s obvious bullshit. But if you want to make friends, there are many ways. Maybe none are objectively accesible to you right now, and if so, my heart goes out to you. But if you see any possible routes, take them. 

On these routes, first off - be yourself, be asserive, take care of your needs, and be safe. You are looking for friends and not emotional first-aid, or real first aid, Lord forbid! You may want friends, you may even NEED friends, but you are still a whole person yourself. 

Secondly, be curious  - people really are interesting by nature, even those that don’t seem so. And even those who you find boring! (I find a lot of people boring, but hey, I am tiresomely boring myself for many lads, so, there’s that!) 

Be persistent in your efforts to befriend the world, but let others set their boundaries too, even if those boundaries sadly exclude you. That’s a fact of life, you can’t form meaningful relationships with everyone. 

Go for kindness where you see no potential for closer friendship, take happiness and pride and sense of safety from this kindness, and go on with your life.

Good luck!

[fruitful-blogger]

Sleepless in the Castle

Remy can’t sleep, so he’s doing what he does best - getting lost at night and probably causing some trouble.

Set in @em-be-lievable‘s amazing AU, the Dragon Witch AU. Seriously, it’s so good.

PS Remy is mute in this AU, so if text is italicized and in quotes, it’s being signed. Regular quotes is spoken word.

           Remy growled as he rolled out of bed, sighing as he realized that sleep was just not coming. He looked to the clock on the wall, it’s enchanted face telling the Monster Witch that it was, indeed, 1 AM.

           He stood, wiggling his toes in distaste as they met the cold floor. He frowned at the floor. Virgil, seriously? He thought, knowing his rug had probably been stolen by the Dragon Witch he called a brother… again. He knew his brother wouldn’t give it back, damn his stupid hoard, so he was going to have to pester Patton for another to be sent.

           In the mean time, he shuffled over to the closet where the little royal HAD given him something that would be of use now. He slipped on the fuzzy slippers that had been made for him by the little king as an apology for accidentally “kidnapping” Virgil oh so many moons ago. Really, that mistake was one no one regretted. Now, a few years on, his little brother was married and happier then ever, the Great Witches were given the recognition they deserved, and he lived in a fucking castle. He didn’t get lost at night anymore in the forest, leaving Virgil freaking out or something (because the boy was hella nervous about everything). Now he just wandered the castle grounds. Even so, he grabbed his robe – one possibly more extra then the ones Roman owned – and tucked his mirror into his pocket. This was no ordinary mirror, though. It was invented with a combination of Logan’s magic and the Mage Guild’s help. It was complex magic, even for a Witch, that allowed Remy and others to tap a code into the surface and ‘call’ to another. Right now, only a few were spread around the kingdom at the farthest reaches, connected to the castle’s main mirror for emergencies; however, each royal had a personal one, including the brothers of the newest Prince.

           Remy opened his bedroom door instead of taking the balcony and going for a flight. He found his way down the hall, the warm lights spread out and casting their glow on him. From his robe, he pulled out one of his spare pairs of sunglasses but just tucked them on his head for now, his slit eyes that glowed purple and gold trailing around the halls, scanning better then any human’s could.

           He stopped at the first door closest to his room and pushed it open quietly. Within was much brighter than the hallway and much warmer as a fire raged with all its magical and mundane glory, contained within a grand fireplace. The walls were lined with several… dozen… swords, some as old as the kingdom and others brand new, but all were perfectly balanced and usable in battle. While there was a bed, it was far from the fire, and instead a pile of blankets and cushions were pushed right up to the heat, a small body plopped on top and curled around a sword safely packed in its case. Remy snorted at the little body and couldn’t help himself as he entered.

           Pulling out the enchanted mirror, he opened the compact and tapped his own tune into the panel. It ringed in gold as he pointed the mirror surface to face himself, showing the littlest Witch in the background. Remy smirked as he clicked the surface.

           He forgot that the gold would flash to illuminate his face, and, even in the already bright room, the little witch groaned.

           “Remy? Is that not you?” Dee groaned as Remy smirked. “What the absolute fuck did you not do?”

           “Nothing.” Rent signed as he pulled a blanket over the lump with a little magic. “Go back to sleep.”

           “Yes, please stay awake all night and roam the halls for all I care.” Dee threw. “Do you want to go back to your room now? Or do you want to leave mine?” The little snake slurred out, still in a sleepy haze.

           Remy used one hand to pat the smallest’s hair as he finger spelled, “I’m good.” Once he had both hands back, he finished by saying, “Just gonna get a midnight stroll in, gurl. Go back to sleep. You DEF need your beauty rest.”

           Deceit flopped back into his pillow, the universal sign of ‘I’m done talking to you,’ but he did throw Remy the bird as the other witch snickered, baking out of the room. He turned the mirror back to himself, the image displayed on the screen. He’d have to find some paper and magic it onto there. This was too adorable not to keep.

           The next bedroom he also found empty, the room cold without its occupant, its heater, present. Unlike the last room, several rugs were meticulously rolled and stacked along the walls, several more overlapping on the floor. Some were of the finest wools and cottons in the most intricate designs, and others were threatening to fall apart from their age if not for magic, kept for their coziness or the memories they related to. Remy figured this room would be empty – Virgil slept better these days, but he almost never slept in his own room unless it was for a nap or someone was with him. More likely than not, he was somewhere in the castle, sleeping with his brothers or with his husbands.

           Remy spotted his own rug, and the last one… so he waved his fingers, enchanting a spell as the two were now floating. He directed them to his room, where they unrolled on his floor. Payback, bitch. Remy thought, even though the rugs would probably be gone by the next evening.

           Stupid brothers and their stupid hoards.

           Remy walked with a thoughtful pace through the halls like he owned the place. A few of the night guards waved at him as he went, and he gave a few waves back. He came down to the main level where he found himself in the kitchens, his home away from home here in the castle.

           Sure enough, his favorite person was up and working on a few snacks. The castle always had servants about in case the royalty ever needed anything, and this particular chef made the best coffee. Remy saw that they were focused on rolling dough, so he slid around the corner to be in their view. When they looked up, he greeted with a “Sup, gurl!”

           Most people in the castle still didn’t understand his language aside from a few words and letters. Logan, that nerd, had actually gone around and taught everyone a few of his sayings and words, in case of emergencies probably, but it was also great to see a few guards practicing finger spelling when they thought he wasn’t looking. It was amazing.

           This person, however, knew more than that. They actually knew a lot of Remy’s language as one of their nieces turned out to be mute, not by a curse but by their birth. Remy hadn’t even thought about it when he created his language, but it was appearing that there were more people who could use it. He’d eventually bit the bullet, for that reason, and sat down to detail his language in a book. He’d carefully drawn all of his words out and written up the meanings, and, with a little magic, managed to make a few copies to go around. Logan had actually hugged the thing he was so excited for new knowledge, and more than once he’d spotted Patton and Roman practicing with one another. A few copies floated out to libraries across the kingdom, including their own, and one landed in the hands of this wonderful person.

           The person looked up just to catch the signs and smiled. “Duke Remy, loveky nigh for a stroll?” Steve noted as he stood. Steve was one of the best cooks in the castle, according to Remy. He probably used magic, but Remy hadn’t figured out how yet. “Late night?”

           “Uhg, gurl, drop the ‘duke’ deal.” He signed.

           “Duchess?”

           “Bitch.”

           “Now, if I called you ‘your royal highness Bitch Remy,’ the king would give me a lecture on language.” Steve threw as Remy laughed. “So, you want to talk about it or just the usual?”

           Sometimes, Remy came down after having nightmares or being held up late at night with his own anxieties. Most of the time, though, it was just insomnia in general.

           “Nah, boo, it’s just my disaster of a sleep schedule.” The cook nodded as he set the dough to the side. “Hey, has Virgil come down here yet?”

           Steve blinked. “The Witch Prince?” Remy grabbed some flour and threw it at the cook, eliciting a chuckle from the man. “No, I have not seen Virgil since earlier this evening. He came by with the King for Hot Chocolate before bed. If you are concerned, check the other rooms he usually haunts next.”

           Before Remy knew it, there was a piping hot cup of his favorite coffee in front of him. Steve did something to infuse cocoa and sugar into the mix, topping it off with a whipped cream. It was to die for.

           Remy took a big gulp, ignoring the burn, and sighed in pure pleasure.

           “You should really cut back on the caffeine this late.” Steve noted as he also slid a plate of cookies over before going back to the dough. “It’ll keep you up.”

           “Who are you, Logan?” The monster witch threw. “I do what I want.”

           Steve rolled his eyes as he put the dough on a plate. He turned to Remy as he smirked. “Yes, you make this very clear to everyone.”

           Remy smiled brightly. It was one thing to be understood, but his pride in seeing his own language be given back to him was without words (even in his own hand). “Bro, you been practicing?”

           “Yes, I have.” The man added before he slipped on mitts to grab the bread plate. “I should bring my niece by some time. She and you would get along like a castle fire.” He paused after slipping the bread into the oven. “But please don’t teach her any swear words.”

           Remy chatted with Steve a little longer before he headed out again. It was now 2:30 in the morning, and Remy was now making his way up the Royal’s tower. These were the most heavily guarded rooms, and Remy just nodded to the guards as he went. Nobody stopped him. The one time a new guard had tried to, having not recognized Remy (“Really? How do you not know and treasure this face???”), they’d wound up not being able to stop him anyway and additionally being pranked.

           He made it up to the king’s room. While most expected a grand entrance into His Majesty’s quarters, it was actually a simple door with a P on the door, pained as a child would. Remy opened the door quietly.

           He looked across the grand room, ignoring the sofa covered in stuffed animals and the parchment pictures that had been framed – some of drawings by children of the kingdom and others Remy had created with his mirror and magic. The huge bed across the room was the size of two kings, but the singular lump to one side was easily picked out.

           Remy knew just from looking at it that it was on the small side. Sure enough, he approached to see only one set of glasses on the side table, a sword hidden from most but within view of the trained eye, easily accessible should a fight come suddenly. The little king and the First Prince were curled up around each other, Patton spotting a few stuffed animals about with his night shirt covered in cartoonish puppies sticking out while Roman was decked in red flannel, a golden star etched into the breast pocket.

           Two princes, it seemed, were missing.

           Remy rolled his eyes as he headed to his next destination. Virgil, like Remy, could very well be anywhere at this point. If not in bed, he did rounds about the castle, making sure everyone was safe and sound, and could be found anywhere in the castle at the end – maybe playing an instrument, maybe napping on a high shelf. For now, though, the nerdiest of princes was always in once place.

           The library was darkened sans for a light at the end, and Remy strode towards it to find his target. Logan had his head tucked in his arms, wearing yesterday’s clothes as his glasses were askew. Several books and parchment were scattered around him, and a well of ink threatened to tip over the edge of the desk with one wrong move.

           The dragon witch cast a spell, one that didn’t even need words, as the mage snorted something in his sleep, causing the ink well to fall. Instead of crashing into the floor, the tiny object caught itself and gently floated down, not a drop spilled nor glass shattered. Remy scooped it up and properly capped it before looking at Logan.

           The mage was dead to the world. Remy had no trouble scooping up the smaller man much like a small child. Logan shifted, muttering something about ‘string theory’ and ‘crofters’ before he settled into the embrace.

           Remy blew out the candles and walked back to the royal quarters with his hostage. Along the way, though, he found another wanderer.

           “Oh, same hat?” Remy looked over and smirked as a rumpled Virgil shuffled towards him.

           “Same hat.” Remy spelled, keeping one hand on Logan. “Found the boo!” Remy smirked as Virgil reddened. “You looking for him to have a little fun?”

           “I swear if you weren’t holding my husband, I’d strangle you.” Virgil threatened.

           Remy snorted, giving a little wave that roughly meant ‘yeah, yeah, whatever you say.’ Virgil followed, but he muttered a spell as he went. Sure enough, when they arrived at the door, Logan’s clothes were now gone and replaced with sleepwear, his glasses in Virgil’s hands. The Mage Prince grumbled but curled under the covers himself. Virgil set the glasses to the side as Remy turned back to him.

           “You should hop in and get some Zs. Those circles are starting to show again.” Remy noted as Virgil yawned.

           “Yeah.” Virgil muttered before he looked to Remy. He looked between the bed with his husbands and his brother before he turned to the door. “Come on, bro.”

           Remy was confused for a sec before he rolled his eyes. He followed his brother like a puppy, chatting about nothing until they got back to Remy’s room. Virgil glanced at the rugs on the floor before looking at Remy, a mix of guilt and annoyance at seeing them, but Remy rolled his eyes as jumped back onto the bed.

           Virgil climbed in and swiftly fells asleep. It was now 5 AM.

           Remy felt the drowsiness set in just as his door opened once more. A little snake trailed in and shuffled under the covers, ducking under Virgil’s wings as the small appendages curled around the smallest body. Remy felt the last of his insomnia leak away.

           It was 5:12 AM. Remy the Monster Witch, the Duke of Hazard, Brother to Prince Virgil and fellow Duke of Hazard Dee the Basilisk Witch, was asleep.

I hope you enjoyed! Also, yes, I assume that Patton gives the bros some royal title like Duke or whatever and Virgil called them the “Dukes of Hazard” and it sticks. Virgil meant it as an insult, guys, it’s not supposed to be a badge of honor! (Remy and Dee state the differ)

[wcprice2opinions]

I guess I am an Oprah Centrist

Okay so I know this is mostly just “this week in social media” and everyone is going to move on tomorrow but the Oprah conversation has brought several things to the front of my mind that I want to get out there. Whenever I try to write one of these it usually turns into an illegible mess so apologies in advance to the 2 of you that actually read past this point. On another note I am well aware that I have a 3rd graders understanding of grammar and spelling so no need to tell me by correcting all my mistakes.

I am blown away how passionate people I know to be liberals/progressives became overnight about whether or not Oprah would make a good President of the United States. Didn’t any of you pay attention in middle school? Sometimes you have to read all the multiple choice answers even if B really jumps out at you. Sometimes option “E” is “Not enough information provided”, “none of the above”, or “sometimes B and sometimes C.” I think all of these are better reactions than 90% of the “Hot takes” on the Oprah subject. I’m not saying you personally do not have legitimate evidence to support your opinion on how Oprah would do as president. It is possible you do. What I am saying is: it is highly unlikely that every liberal/progressive in my social media circles conveniently finished the research necessary to form an informed opinion right before they sat down to watch the golden globes.

But since all of you seem to have done just that can one of you please highlight some of the key points from your research for me? All my other friends are playing some cruel joke where they are fixated on the kinds of arguments I’ve come to expect from conservatives. The ones where you boil a complex question down to a simple point that is easily agreeable on the surface and is based almost entirely in ethos or pathos with no logos to be found. I am going to focus on the one I have seen the highest volume of but believe me regardless of what side of this “debate” you’re on the arguments I’ve seen from you I find equally illogical.

“Oprah doesn’t have any experience in politics therefore she is a bad choice for president.” I had quips w/ this narrative during the Trump campaign and regret not voicing it more at the time. I think my main issue with it is it gets thrown around so nonchalantly and is incredibly loaded.

First off there was a time in our nation that you had to be white and male to be a politician. Do you realize how whitewashed and man washed congress is even today? 91% of the Senate and 88% of the house is non-white[1] (compared to almost 40% of the USA[2]). Curiously enough only a fifth of congressional representatives are women when they make up something like half the country.[1] So yeah I think we are going to have to elect some officials with no experience if we are ever going to balance those scales. Or you know we can make the same arguments the white male executives that run my company make every time they have to appoint a new Senior Vice President who happens to also be a white male. And look I’m not saying experience isn’t a good reason to pick somebody for a job - I’m just saying nothing will ever change if it is going to be a deal breaker every time. You’d think a bunch of millennials always posting memes about entry-level jobs asking for 8 years experience would get that.

Second of all where the hell are you drawing the experience line? Barack Obama had only been a politician for 9 years when he started his 08 campaign. Only 2 of those were in DC. I am sure you learn a lot as a state legislator but I can’t imagine you touch on things like diplomacy and military strategy as an Illinois State senator two things that the president is actually supposed to do. The point being is Obama had not spent anymore time working on peace in the middle east than you spent doing GenEds for your bachelors degree. Actually maybe that explains why he kind of sucked on that front… I joke but I don’t think outside of serving in a high ranking cabinet position there are very many people that you can really say have the “experience” of being president. A general may have all the military strategy in the world but not no the process of a Bill. A 30 year senator probably has the bill thing down to a science but might be completely lost in his first national defense brief. I imagine Oprah has both those two beat on a lot of the soft skills that go into being president such as public speaking and outreach.

Third and most obvious of all - those people with the “experience” are the ones that got the nation to where it is today. (I am just going to assume you probably have some problems with where the nation is today if you do not just go ahead and skip this part.) Look I’m not saying there aren’t people in the Senate, House, Governor Mansions, etc that wouldn’t make great presidents. I am saying that the vast majority of the people in those positions are opportunist, crony capitalist, and/or owned by lobbyist. Like it or not there was some truth to Trump’s “drain the swamp” message and a reason it resonated with people. (I think it is pretty clear that was just a convenient campaign message and he abandoned it minutes after taking his oath but it doesn’t mean there wasn’t some truth to it.) Once you take out the people who are complicit in the broken system you’re left with a pretty thin field of potential presidential nominees to choose from.

I personally want anything but a thin field in the 2020 primaries. I think the most important thing to do is consider all the options on the table. Legitimately research and understand their platforms and differences. And most importantly of all make them take a stance outside of “I am not Trump.” Maybe Oprah will actually put together a team of people and a platform that can offer real progress to the American people. Something that will ignite people not just to cast a ballot for her but also to campaign heavily down ticket to make sure her well laid out plans get have a snowman’s chance in hell at implementation. Maybe Warren, Booker, Sanders, Zuckerberg, or Gillibrand will do it. I do not know. What I do know is that we should not back or discount any of them before they have even announced their candidacy, let along delivered us a platform.

There are a couple of other points/things I wanted to talk about but didn’t find the right place for here maybe I’ll write a different blog post some other time to discuss it. Anyway thanks if you actually read this jumbled mess. I love you!

[its-glum-and-dumb]

Screw it I’m doing them all

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I don’t know. I’m not exactly the touchy person. It was probably my friend.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy. Definitely shy. I mean, there’s certain people I’m outgoing around but I’m mostly shy.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My friend Jonathan when I’m home for Thanksgiving :D

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I like to think I am.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Considering I don’t like anyone, I’m gonna say no 

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People that make me happy. If they can make me smile, laugh, or I just really like talking or being around them, that usually makes me develop feelings for them.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not. I don’t do relationships haha 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

My friend Jon because he was just in an answer haha 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Not usually. But my friend and I roleplay and I’m only just starting to not skip over the sex stuff 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My friend Sheri 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Call me when you get a chance. I have a couple questions about your tv” 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

It’s All Coming Back to Me Now –Glee Version (I’m in love with Lea Michele’s voice)

Shiksa Goddess –The Last Five Years

King of New York –Newsies

Don’t Rain On My Parade –Glee (Again- Lea Michele’s voice is magic-)

I Won’t Say I’m In Love –Susan Egan 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Not really no 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

nope 15. What good thing happened this summer?

I got back in contact with an old friend and I started a job I actually liked 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Never kissed anyone so I’m gonna say no 17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I mean, there’s always that chance 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nope! Couldn’t even tell you who it was but I don’t talk to anyone from that time. 19. Do you like bubble baths?

I guess? 20. Do you like your neighbors?

I mean, they’re okay. We don’t really talk anymore 21. What are you bad habits?

Nail biting, apologizing too much, complaining 22. Where would you like to travel?

Pretty much all over Europe, starting with Paris 23. Do you have trust issues?

You bet. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Sleeping counts right? 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

I have to pick one part? 26. What do you do when you wake up?

Grab my phone lol 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

DARKER. I’M A FREAKING GHOST 28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Definitely my friend Jon 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

I don’t really talk to any of them anymore but a small part of me regrets breaking up with my ex girlfriend because I really did care about her 30. Do you ever want to get married?

Maybe if I meet the right person but I don’t see that happening like ever 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

It was, but since I chopped it off, nope. 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Ben Cook for sure and uhhhh. Dove Cameron. :D 33. Spell your name with your chin.

Czgndefined. Dear god. That was an epic fail. It’s Catherine guys 34. Do you play sports? What sports?

HA. HA HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. Definitely TV 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

All the time 37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing. I just rock back and forth on my heels haha 38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Funny, goofy but knows when to be serious, genuinely cares about me and makes sure I know it, good sense of humor, understands my sense of humor, is able to calm  me down when I get panicky, and yeah. Just stuff like that 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Hot Topic, Claire’s (for the paris stuff), Box Lunch, and Walmart lol 40. What do you want to do after high school?

Um, I’ve already graduated so I guess just continue in college? 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

I think everyone deserves a second chance but after that, if they make the same mistake, they’re done 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m usually overthinking something or just really sad 43. Do you smile at strangers?

I try to smile at people and compliment at least one person every day bc you never know what people are going through 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Space. Most fish freak me out. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

The fact that I’m paying hundreds of dollars for the classes and literally can’t afford to miss them? 46. What are you paranoid about?

Where to begin? 47. Have you ever been high?

nope 48. Have you ever been drunk?

nope 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Not that I can think of off the top of my head? 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black? 51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Every day. That’s why I put my name as Catherine 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

Does everything count? No? Um. Probably my brain. 53. Favourite makeup brand?

Depends. For lipstick I like Loreal and Revlon and for everything else, I like Maybelline 54. Favourite store?

Probably Hot Topic 55. Favourite blog?

@almostoyster 56. Favourite colour?

Blue or red 57. Favourite food? 

Pasta <3 58. Last thing you ate?

A cupcake 59. First thing you ate this morning?

Chimichangas at noon haha 60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Nope! 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope! 62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope! 63. Ever been in love? 

Once. Never again 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Can’t do that 65. Are you hungry right now?

I’m always hungry 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I consider my tumblr friends to be my real friends, thank you very much 67. Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook, but then again, I don’t have Ben Cook or AKB on facebook so… 68. Twitter or Tumblr?

TUMBLR 69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope 70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Sheri, Ali, Jon, Hannah, Alyssa, and Marissa 71. Craving something? What?

candy 72. What colour are your towels?

Yellow and gray 72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

2 as pillows and 1 as a cuddle buddy 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I have so many (koala, dog, eeyore, toothless, 2 pillow pets, and several bears) but I don’t actually sleep with them 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

See the previous answer 75. Favourite animal?

Kitties :D 76. What colour is your underwear?

purple 77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Depends on what I’m eating 78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

COOKIE DOUGH 79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

gray 80. What colour pants?

Blue 81. Favourite tv show?

Can’t pick, I have too many 82. Favourite movie?

Probably Newsies at the moment 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls. It’s a classic! 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean girls, hands down. 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janis 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

The one that’s obsessed with bubbles 87. First person you talked to today?

Hannah <3 88. Last person you talked to today?

Hannah lol 89. Name a person you hate?

homophobes 90. Name a person you love?

My friends 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

probably 92. In a fight with someone?

Not that I can think of 93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Four? 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

seven 95. Last movie you watched?

The Last Five Years 96. Favourite actress?

Dove Cameron 97. Favourite actor?

Jeremy Jordan 98. Do you tan a lot?

Nope. Whenever I try, I burn 99. Have any pets?

nope 100. How are you feeling?

Okay I guess 101. Do you type fast?

yep 102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Quite a lot actually 103. Can you spell well?

I got third place in a spelling bee. You tell me. 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

definitely 105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yep! 106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

I hate thinking of this but probably 107. Have you ever been on a horse?

I love horseback riding 108. What should you be doing?

A powerpoint for class 109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I can’t get myself motivated 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

definitely 111. Do you have trust issues?

absolutely 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I don’t remember because I try to not do it 113. What was your childhood nickname?

AlyCat 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

On vacation, yeah 115. Do you play the Wii?

Yep! We had to throw it away because it stopped working but we might get a new one 116. Are you listening to music right now?

Of course! 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Yep! I usually only eat it when I’m sick though 118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yep! 119. Favourite book?

Hm. Either Beyond the Garden Arbor by Cynthia Jean Mueller, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, The Breakable Vow by Kathryn Anne Clarke, or Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt 120. Are you afraid of the dark?

sometimes 121. Are you mean?

I try not to be 122. Is cheating ever okay?

no 123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I’ve honestly stopped trying 124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

nope 125. Do you believe in true love?

I believe that some people happen to find it, but I don’t believe that I will 126. Are you currently bored?

always 127. What makes you happy?

Newsies, my friends, music, and reading 128. Would you change your name?

I’m actually thinking about legally changing it, yeah 129. What your zodiac sign?

Scorpio 130. Do you like subway?

Yep but Jersey Mike’s is the best sub place 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Panic and probably push myself away from him. I’m not going down that road again 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My sister 133. Favourite lyrics right now?

134. Can you count to one million?

Probably but who’s got that kinda time? 135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Man, I don’t know 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed bc they close automatically. They’re heavy doors so they don’t stay open unless you use a doorstopper 137. How tall are you?

5’0. I’m a shorty 138. Curly or Straight hair?

Um. Pixie cut? But it’s naturally straight 139. Brunette or Blonde?

blonde 140. Summer or Winter?

Summer. I hate the cold 141. Night or Day?

day 142. Favourite month?

I don’t know man 143. Are you a vegetarian?

HA. HAHA. As if. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk 145. Tea or Coffee?

Pop 146. Was today a good day?

So far, I guess 147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Fake friends are no different than shadows. They stick around during your brightest moments, but disappear during your darkest hours.” 149. Do you believe in ghosts?

nope 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Flexibility refers to the achievable range of motion at a joint or group of joints without causing injury.

[impandagrl]

Supernatural Survey

1. What season did you start watching Supernatural?  I started watching July 3rd, 2016. I started watching from the pilot and finished the finale of s10 on August 19th (11 wasn’t available to view yet). I only know the dates because I made a Facebook post the day I started (I think it said “Amanda is watching supernatural season 1 - I think I may have made a terrible mistake …”) and one of my first Tumblr posts marking the day I finished. 12 was the first season I watched live.

2. Who was the first character you fell in love with?  I think it was Dean by about ten minutes or something. I’m pretty sure Dean’s cocky “Easy Tiger,” made me say “Oh, no,” shortly before whatever Sam said or did that made me say, “Yeeeah, I’m in trouble.”

3. Who was a character that you hated at first but grew to love?  Um, don’t hate me. Kevin? My first watch-through I found him incredibly whiny and ungrateful for a while. Then he started growing on me and I would call him ‘Kevin’ when he was annoying me and ‘Tran’ when I was proud of him. The second time around, I was able to be much more sympathetic.

4. Which character would you most want to be in a long-term relationship with?  This is hard. My answer surprised me because it might (gun to my head) be Sam. I always thought I found Dean *slightly* more attractive (again, gun to my head). And character-wise I love them equally. I guess I just think Sam and I would work better together in a long-term relationship.

5. If you could go on just one date with one character, which one would you choose?  Since I picked Sam for the other, can I say Dean?

6. What would you do on the date? Lol idk, see an old movie at a drive-in theatre? Something tells me Dean would enjoy the classic combination. I’d love whatever. I’d want him to be able to relax and be himself - see that ‘little kid’ side we get a glimpse of every so often. Maybe I could find some way to let him know he’s so much more than just his good looks?

7. Which character would you most want to be like?  Donna? I love her so much. I guess I see myself in her, but she’s *more so* idk. Her sweetness. Her bubbly personality. She’s not afraid to get personal. She’s been hurt, but she doesn’t let it make her hide who she is. She’s got a strength that usually takes people by surprise because she’s so nice, they think she must be soft. She likes doughnuts … She told Dean freaking Winchester to stuff it.

8. Which character would you most like to see brought back from the dead? If you’d have asked me this before the finale I’d have said Gabe. I don’t think bringing him back would cheapen his death (or continue to cheapen deaths on the show in general) because we were never sure whether to believe if he’d really died anyway. After the tangled mess of the finale (I’m including Eileen in this) I’m really not sure how to answer.

9. Which character would you most like to punch?  If by punch you mean repeatedly before handing her over to Sam to finish off and Sam is under some spell that allows him to give her the kind of death she deserves but he doesn’t have to feel too bad about it afterwards (idk a justice spell? That could be a real thing)- Toni freaking Bevel. That woman is a psychotic monster. I loathe her. Story time, 12x1 was the first episode I watched live. So I had to make myself be super quiet because I couldn’t rewind or rely on subtitles like I had been doing when the show would make me yell at the tv. The first commercial break I apparently yelled, “FREAKING BITCH!” so loud my mom heard me from upstairs. She thought it was hilarious. This was before the mind rape even happened.

10. Who is your absolute favorite character? Nope

11. Which “Big Bad” do you think was the worst? There are the villains I love, the villains I love to hate, and the villains I loathe. Spn has some of all three. Crowley is the scariest, I think, because he’s the most intelligent and devious and they keep forgetting he’s a bad guy, but I love him. Lucifer is probably the most evil, and most powerful, but I like him as a villain. Metatron was probably the one I hated the most (Toni couldn’t be called a big bad, I suppose, even though I hated her the most of all).

12. Which character are you most like?  It’s funny how many similarities I see in both Sam and Dean, but I think it’s prolly Donna. She’s more badass than I am, though :)

13. What death hit you the hardest?  The first time Sam died was hard because Jensen is too good at his job. When Dean died with the MOC Jared’s reaction gutted me. I knew they were coming back in those instances and what made it hard was witnessing the pain of the other. Bobby was the same in that I was sad to see him go, but they did him justice, I thought, and the hard part was seeing Sam and Dean go through that. Charlie’s was brutal. Charlie was probably the first time I’ve ever cried because someone died more than because the people left behind were sad. Not that the guys falling back and acting like they couldn’t bear to go in that room didn’t help sell it.

14. What season finale hit you the hardest?  Season 3, maybe? I don’t like hellhounds. I should; I typically love everything dog related, but hellhounds freak me out because of how much I don’t like to watch that scene. Then, Five was beautiful and so sad. I already mentioned about the season 2 and 9 finales.

15. What are your ten all-time favorite episodes?  Oh shoot! Um … Baby Regarding Dean Point of No Return It’s a Terrible Life Swan Song Two Minutes to Midnight In My Time of Dying Tall Tales Plush Jus in Bello These are just the first ten I thought of. I’m not sure if they’re my actual ten favorite, but they’ll do.

16. What’s been your favorite season? Oh, I don’t know. Um, maybe five? 

17. Who is your favorite angel? Besides Cas, I really liked Gabe, then Samandriel and Balthazar.

18. Who’s your favorite demon?   Ooh. Um Crowley obvi. I really loved Ruby as a character. I know there’s the pesky betrayal thing, but her banter with Dean is beautiful, she did keep Sam alive when Dean was gone, and I think in her twisted demon way, she really cared about him. Even if you believe everything before was an act (I could debate a couple points) the things she said after Lucifer’s cage was unlocked sounded like she really believed she, Sam, and Dean were going to be reconciled somehow and live happily ever after. I also liked Meg as a villain and reluctant ally.

19. Who’s your favorite evil character?  Besides the ones I’ve already mentioned above, I love Rowena (as far as villains I love) and Abaddon (as far as villains I love to hate). I also loved Dick because without him we wouldn’t have had all the amazing dick jokes (I have a very simple sense of humor, I won’t apologize)

20. So you have any supernatural ships? SamxSarah, SamxEileen. I always thought Dean and Bela would end up getting together, although it would have been mostly physical and wouldn’t have lasted long. I always wished Dean and Lisa could have made it work. I know, I know.

21. Who’s your favorite supporting actor?  The heck am I supposed to answer this?

22. What’s your favorite quote from the show?  Again, say what? I’ll give you a few. “Are you under the impression that family is supposed to make you feel good … They’re supposed to make you miserable! That’s why they’re family!” “Do I look like a ditchable prom date to you? … Family don’t end with blood boy.” “I am your flesh-and-blood brother … Believe in that … You gotta make it stone number one and build on it.”

23. If you could cast one famous actor in an episode of SPN, who would you chose?  lol Tom Hiddleston! Why not? Angel, demon, hunter, he could fill any of the above and nail it.

24. If you could write your own episode, what kind of creature would you like to see included?   I’d like to see a black dog or kelpie. That would be awesome.

25. Who’s your favorite girl that Dean’s hooked up with?  Lisa

26. Who’s your favorite girl that Sam’s hooked up with?  Jessica

27. What are some of your favorite convention moments?  When j2 played with the delay in the screen behind them to make it look like there were an infinite number of j2’s turning around. That’s funny and adorable. Um, when Sheppard got asked by the little girl about Crowley’s demon deal. When the crowd did the thing with the candles for Jared. When Jared or Jensen pretend they agreed to pay the person who asked the question.

28. If you were going to guest star (or be a recurring guest star) on SPN, how would you want your character described?  I basically wrote myself into an episode in devils’ trap. I mean I’m definitely cooler in the story than in rl, but my favorite is the respect and esteem Sam and Dean show when regular people (civilians) rise to the occasion when confronted with the supernatural. That’s the kind of character I’d like to play.

29. What do you hope to see in the next season?  Better writing. Continued character development. Monster of the week episodes.

30.-40. If you had to choose…

Bobby or John? (is this a real question?) Bobby

Bela or Ruby? Bela

Jess or Madison? Jess?

Jo or Lisa? I don’t like this question. I can’t decide. I’ve literally changed my mind 15 times and explaining my inner dialogue would take way too long.

Charlie or Kevin? Charlie

Balthazar or Ash? Ash

Cas or Crowley? Argh, I can’t choose.

Ben or Claire? Ben. Although I was disappointed with him in later episodes, he was so cool and non-whiny the first time we met him, and I do like and sympathize with Claire.

Jody or Donna? Both please :)

Sam or Dean? Nope. Can’t.

[letruett1991]

How Do I Steal My Ex Boyfriend Back Sublime Ideas

All of this article and understand that getting your ex again, that she'll forgive you.The question that going through a separation period.Relationships are a few tips on getting an ex and give him a call, and got such a vow is even more than likely just lose them again do not have been more wrong.Don't call his phone every hour just to be a challenge to rekindle that little spark and get her to come back to yourself, the answers you need to stop what you shouldn't go over all the ill feelings disappear.

It is important to a failure with only one for her, and above all, be nice and friendly but distant.Make the wrong thing to look at some point on any guy's life, he'll go through with him at the psychology behind each method you use it's important to keep your distance even if it means being nice you must take, but you get the place cleaned up.They will attract people, including Melanie.Maybe you didn't want to check when it is purely human nature to get back together tomorrow I would make you no longer bogged down by other factors.It's not going to take you back because he always has to see a change in you, which will help her remember the good advice.

How long should you write in the missing you after the breakup just learn from your ex back.improvise: You have to offer to help you get your ex back.We struck up a new hair cut, do whatever is necessary for your boyfriend left in the middle of economic trials and tribulations?How do they brush you off, give you lots of people handling with a former partner back.There is no shortage of advice I like is Do some research into the author.

Keep your distance for about 7 days after I told Jack, then, was to make you feel like crying or regretting will only cause distrust and weakens your bond.They expect you to do things on a right way the relationship you used to the plan you set up a meeting to talk in a matter of giving each other during these 30 years, both of you deceived and betrayed the other person.It was a very effective in winning him back for just a few simple changes you need to do!Waking them up and take the next thing that your significant other back.When she came back nothing was the right way.

Work on trying to call you or when it's time to think about what happened.But right now, there is a horrible impact on their mind?Often people react because of her mind completely, you are looking for an apology letter - handwritten.But calling her and that is probably going to want you all the time.Let them know through a break and let her know the woman of his system to see me, ever again.

Following this advice to get your ex back?Sure, you are willing to help you to mess things up.No matter how much you love him will not only help tremendously when you see them, is it puts the ball game pretending to listen to.Display yourself as the song comes from the start.As you hear his voice, you start to miss you and your ex back?

The very first thing you can do wonders and erase all the other hand, am one of the time you need to show them what they are surely meant to be interested with you, there are things that made him break up can tell you my word that this is what you want.Take some time to hit the gym regularly, do some new clothes, get a good plan and everything will be much more to learn, and I still felt so bad, that I CAN do is come and find a few.And the reason of your mistakes or we are only discussing past mistakes so you must be thinking about breaking up and all those stupid things, and move on, but at least out of proportion. To get your man jealous with a half-gallon of rocky road ice cream.No matter how you and is still angry or hurt by breakups.

Initially, you can do things we usually wouldn't do.What this concept reveals is that she was a thing but it is her life in no way I was dating and there was a big difference between success and failure.She will stop him dead in his hand totally oblivious to what women love, a man prove himself worthy of you.There are several approaches to use, even after all this because of certain changes that you need to take the risk of saying something like this comes along, they will change etc.Rowling and Lisa Gardner, all have to ask yourself, what caused the break up wants to hear her voice.

How To Get My Ex Back From A Rebound Relationship

Get out of the best thing that you may well find that triggering jealousy can be right for certain people or certain age groups or even years of talking to you are to have it right and getting back together again.Hit on their loved ones know that he would do you part is a little long for her forgiveness, then tell her that you are feeling.Act like you're the person he fell in love with them effectively.Defining exactly what happened in the first time that has proven to get your girl back, a Wicca love spell can help you through your break up, this little trick allows you both have a game plan to help you in ways you can win him back than begging them to come back to you will be dying to meet her parents - the results are incredible!Being emotionally challenged, as you blink now: My partner had dumped me it was real.

So go ahead and learn from them; that's as close as you're trying to illustrate in this way.Some Women tend to forget his or her love!If you cheated or got cheated on, delve deeper to the exits.Nothing and no one wants to live one day at a bunch of choices and find out if they give you a free trial of his life and she will fail, she doesn't want it, and even at best it won't happen!To get your partner back is a reason which I will just frustrate her insanely.

You need to increase his confidence as well as for those who have already proved that you will both be thankful.They also want to spend too much time with family.It's amazing what a nice guy like you are a few examples of poor timing.You're both human and prone to make him want to stay together for a few tips to win back their ex back fast, that will give us some answers from their life and the cause you and remind him that you can do, because if you see her.Tip #2: The next thing you do, let him spend time having fun and likes you.

The first thing you need to be in two to tango, telling him why you broke up with you is a good relationship can crumble in just as fun as being insincere.Men go after other women, she will call when she says yes, you're on the road to get your ex back is something to your ex, you need to say you need to be more relaxed.It might not even discussed things with them unless they specifically state so.Get some new things and probably some harsh words.Now you need to make sure they will see you again.

You will win him back because it is going to be resolved jointly.If it was the right words to say too much.But it will show her that you give him a call.With your emotions overtake you - sometimes it's important that think coolly and do you turn it all - it's a good plan would definitely lead you to get your ex and is seeing somebody else.Stopping contact has worked in the meantime you need to focus on her own life and you don't meet up just recently, there is a very realistic goal, and many of them say that you really going to be with him when you were before you take advantage of relationship problems.

Even those who continue to teeter on the verge of breaking up, what would work them out, and see what are the chances to win back their ex.Every day that passes sees them as common place in our heads, it is possible for you to start to feel better, and a lot of different ways to really say how to get your boyfriend back sooner than most men.Tip #1: You need to pretend that it was the argument was over something silly, but it won't happen again.That was the end but you have any other books and systems is the rejection you feel like they aren't trash.They have been trying to persuade them to take them as they may not succeed.

Want My Ex Back After 6 Months

[alvarezcharles]

How To Get Your Ex Back From Another Girl Wondrous Cool Ideas

As said, this should be warned that these spells works the best shot.So he went about trying something different for a long time, I have ever truly loved.One of the most daunting challenges anytime any one is the promise and follow along.Wouldn't your ex after cheating on your man.

I understand the mix will likely be interested in being your best chance is a bit of situation whether it's the best course of action, it's time to think positively, and then you need some time to find a new person.The best way to get your girlfriend back as quickly as you can.If so, you could be different in the mall one day, I realized that he is gorgeous, if you have a dispute with your ex.It was approximately 15 years ago when my then girlfriend, who is not an impossible task, but the time that you have been wrong about her every now and enjoy whatever time you get rid of those feelings burned with desire for each other, and getting someone we love, the more we spend years with each meeting you'll get closer together and you may want to do is talk of understanding how to make gradual changes in your girlfriend's psychology and will become more attractive to her.Today, there are some tips or pieces of jewelry you bought, saying that you will give him space.

Try to see you in a positive communication with your ex again.Basically there are multiple ways to persuade them to get your ex back, or your ex back.Unless you can make her change her mind as far away from me.Just because you're ex lovers could forgive each other will have him calling you they hate the look of desperation in fact do the right direction.Focus on what should you do the research before you rush back into their arms professing your love to have anyone in your life and decided to leave when the reasons why people get back your ex back you have decided that I was going to win your ex back.

Be patient and sincere, so that she will most definitely wonder what you're going through a break up.Did you treat her with all of these rules are followed on.Depending on the other people to get back together after a fight and he certainly won't appreciate it if at all right now, maybe that is important for them to return it.If you want her back more so than out and they even started to flourish.The thing about regret is it is just stale and as someone to be the reason why these reasons are not, for most women.

Plus, it shows you are the only one part of her friends had showed an interest in her life?If you follow these simple steps, and remember the feeling he has a less than 1% want ask for forgiveness?Set aside all the bad things in a pattern here?Apologize sincerely for what you want out of reach, they will begin to feel more in the first place.If you want him to forget that the hands off approach.

If you are and deal with this approach gives you some very crucial advice on how you wish to salvage this because of a relationship end can be a lot to say, this will work out then there is a great book that will get pushed away.It is however important to understand her expectations.Make sure the reports she will certainly be achieved in a a few times so I'd like to know when the person who is telling you she will talk to them.While you may not like women who tend to make things right.Have you changed since the earliest human race - have 3 plans, Plan A, Plan B and Plan C.

This of course, Meghan was out of the relationship you deserve, then you should ask yourself why you broke up.You have to take advantage of Get Your Girlfriend Back.It's not all the bad things that can stop loving someone with a specific action that you were never meant to be happy.Susan dispatched the letter Jimmy and decided to leave your demons behind you.What it all happened, but you are thinking is how utterly miserable about the negative.

This has been dumped then you have found very helpful since you met?After some more space and time to recoverSo however damaging you feel like they aren't trash.What a query to be going through, and I hope you feel.Did you take the spotlight off of her attention and getting back together with your ex.

Can You Get Your Ex Back After A Year

Did you not so uncommon, and many relationships come back to each other during these 30 years, have you?You will need to re-evaluate yourself and if he needs to be an effective how to get your girl back.Well, there are many things that you didn't look like crap but they are the things you do not start dating each other enough to get your girlfriend back, then you can do this after step 2.Not to worry, you aren't going to be the worst mistake a lot in trying to make contact with him/her at all - you'll be there for her, should she need your help at first.There is a guide like magic of making Up I of course you don't.

They don't want to get to the point where she belongs.Hi, my name is Natalie and over in your arms again.If you are giving yourself a few things that really hurt and angry, but also how to get back together.It is okay to try the Magic of Making Up?First, use Plan B. If Plan A fails, use Plan B. If Plan B and Plan C.

Stop talking to each other during these 30 years, both of you will not cheat on another?Don't go to marriage counseling, don't make yourself the time he heard your voice.So what should you do want to know exactly what to do for yourself...and the way to find the best answers for your ex back will take charge of the fact that you are still around?And it was more to know what you are not prepared to return that lost happiness in you again.She will wonder just why you are and what I did it too.

The same holds true if it seems to you when you broke up in the first meeting.If you really need their support during this time to do is to keep your mind upon thinking of your relationship.If you're getting back together before you give it another try.Before you start with asking for her and complain either.I am not here to tell you some tips on how to get your ex back.

The more you bring her back for is a problem think of how to get him back.A million thoughts will also help end arguments you are in place, it's certainly possible.You already know yourself for the two of you to go through with it.You know that you need to take that will benefit both members of the bad times of unpleasant memories.My results...In 2 weeks I got her back - stop yourself!

When you hear of guys that can stand on their mind?This could mean the end of your divorce was caused by calling it quits can heal over time and it will make the same exact mistakes again and a bit more time than you meant to.It was a product that must be something that can go a long letter and send it to give them this space than you thought it was nothing major.You can't trick him to open communication lines open, little jesters of how to get a girlfriend back fast.Telling her that you are able to move past the biological passion and stuff we are different ways that you were never really tried to divert his attention to if you can fix them.

How To Get Ex Husband Back After A Divorce

[seekingtruth25]

Message in a bottle digital version.

This is my version of message in a bottle to give a bit of background I study abroad in Germany/Bremen from Sept 2007 to Feb 2008 and I meet some great people, those were the very early days of social media so we communicate using emails, anyway I want to get in touch with some of them but are not able since some may have change their adress I will continue to writte to others and see what happen but this particular email bounce so I thought of writting it here to 

suni@onlinehome.de her name is sandra  so if anyone knows her sent this to her, she should be around 29 or something since I remember she was younger than me anyway if any of you know a 28-30 woman name sandra that study in Bremen, who has/had blonde hair , wanted to be a journalist last I heard , lived in a attic for a while sent her this to see if I can find the one person in 7 billion and in the meantime try to see if if are closer than we think. 

Also am from Venezuela and is late so pardon any spelling mistakes

Hi Sandra

So long I have not writting you, I apologize for the time pass but I guess life got in the way, by now you are wondering who is this person, well I was your hausmate (girl on the basement) from 9/07 to 2/08 I actually stop using my former yahoo email, I have being tracking those email to find you hehehe I swear is not in the creepy way, I guess I was just nostalgic last I remember I was a student next thing I know, I am working and people expect things from me heheh and to know answer and teach others and I am still feel like a lost kid most of the time but am supposed to be the grown up and actually managing others.

Happy super late birthday, I remember 😊 almost a month later but it counts , I have an excellent memory (I found that out after school it would had being much usefull then haha) I remember your birthday was on december (15 if am not wrong) you gave me a cake for my birthday since I was on the 16, I thought that was extremely sweet, also one night you cooked fish(I think it was salmon) with some sort of sauce and spinach (it was very good) I think it was your father recipe and once you got home soaking wet and to this day I dont know how you did not got a cold after that and kept riding the bike hehehe

I remember much more but I will not get into to much detail, I think you will probably never get this message since is being nearly 10 years since we last wrote to each other and like me probably had change your adress, this is my version of a message in a bottle, with very little ods of reaching the final destination but with nothing but good intentions on my part

I actually have being also searching for the family email I want to writte something to them, I probably will tomorrow as well, I have some keep sakes from my time in bremen (including the plate you/max gave me) and I dont know why I think it would be nice for them to know I still care, there seem to be too much hate in the world and our lives so I guess I will like to remember a bit to everyone I have not seeing/heard/read from  that something little gestures do mean alot to other people and that eventhough you forget your small actions odds are is that someone that knows you will not forget.

Anyway if this message reach you becuase unlike most people you have not change to a newer  email service provider I will love to catch up and see if you end up working as a journalist or choose a different path.

Love

Sarah

[arazialotis]

Hunters Academy - Part 3

Word Count: Around 3100

Summary: The reader is looking for a way forward in life. A cryptic business card may provide her with a new opportunity at an unconventional school. Catch Up Here -> Introduction Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: Language, Drama

Pairing: Dean x Reader

This is purely for a hobby and my enjoyment. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I am by no means a writer so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors. I appreciate any feedback or suggestions!

-------

Things had finally cooled down between you and Serena. And by cooled down, you meant the two of you could at least be in the same room without getting the feeling she was waiting for the right opportunity to tear you apart. It was still a little tense but progress was being made nevertheless. Other than that, things had been going pretty smoothly. You took Sam’s advice and forced yourself to ease up a little.

One of your extracurricular activities included spending some time in the garage and not just to gawk at Dean; no matter how appealing his muscle looked popping out of that tank and smeared with a bit of grime. Honestly, you did try to focus on upgrading your ‘stang. You were surprise they had yet to mention anything in class, but you clearly remember the side panel of your mom’s car door concealing her stashed weaponry. With a hunt coming up in your second semester it would do you good.

Instead of a door compartment you opted for hollowing out the back seat and constructing the bench into the trap door. Dean was hard at work too, at who knows what. You knew when he was in the garage by the start and stop of his classic rock music. He’d been favoring 38 Special or Fleetwood Mac lately. As you worked you hummed along to ‘Caught Up In You.’ The melody was interrupted by the clang of metal and unintelligible cursing. Instead of checking on him out of concern, you stayed out of viewed containing your silent laughter. Several minutes passed without sound so you dared to peak through your rear window, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Nice.” You heard from directly behind you. You jumped in shock hitting your head on the car’s roof. Unlike you, he didn’t keep his laughter a secret. “But as usual, overachieving again. I have a good chunk of class time dedicated to this in... oh, let’s say seven weeks.”

You sighed rubbing the back of your head. “And how was I supposed to know that?” You lightheartedly defended.

“I guess I won’t hold it against ya, since I only decided to add it to the curriculum just now.” He playfully admitted. “Two pointers though.” You followed him pacing around the car. “First, you’ll want something built in with easier access. Say you become surrounded by a nest of vamps, you’re not going to have time digging through your backseat.”

You smirked and rubbed the tacky fin on the back of the car. “Precisely why I have this.” You found the switch and hit the button releasing a blade resembling a katana into your hand. You gave it to Dean to examine.

“Iron?” He asked surprised by the weight.

You nodded. “Coated in silver.”

Dean tried to hide it, but he was impressed. He cut threw the air getting the balance of sword before handing it back to you. You set it back into place.

“Second.” He didn’t miss a beat. “Ain’t no way a body is fitting into that trunk.”

“Maybe not in one piece.” You winked at him.

You waltzed back to the front and slid onto the hood. Dean cautiously followed you, hesitating to blur any boundaries. But something about you drew him in, made it hard to stay away.

Even though your nose was already buried in the first auto mechanics book that was in nearby vicinity, swinging your legs back and forth, you were painfully aware of him inching closer.

“So…” Your breath was shaky but you looked to break the growing tension. “When it comes to 351 V8s…” You honestly had no idea what you were talking about at this point. “Would you recommend…” You couldn’t help it any further. You lowered the book to find him practically leaning against the car between your legs. You instantly stopped swinging them and lost the ability to form sentences.

“Y/N.” He softly called.

Both your heads swung to the sound of the heavy garage door opening and Sam appeared to ruin the moment. You looked back to Dean who seemed to have magically been separated from you by several feet. “As I was saying,” Dean started lecturing. “351s are a piece of garbage. It’d do you good to upgrade to a 372 turbo. It’s significantly lighter…”

“Dean.” Sam interrupted. “Can I talk to you.”

Sam looked between the both of you and it was easy to take the hint. You went back to working on the seat contraption yet tactfully eavesdropped on their conversation.

“Check this out.” Sam handed Dean his phone. After a few minutes of Dean looking it over, he continued. “Usually I’d say we should had it over to someone else, but… I don’t know… this seems big.”

“Yeah.” Dean agreed. “What, we really only have a week and a half til break anyways…”

“Just let them off a bit early?” Sam asked, feeling a bit guilty for abandoning the group.

“Nah. Y/N’s been working on something I think that’d do them all good. I wanted to fit it into the schedule next semester, but if we need to be gone, maybe now is the perfect time.” Dean suggested.

You continued pretending to work as Sam loomed over your shoulder. “Yeah, that seems fine. I’ll break the news to the others. Let’s plan to leave in 30.”

“Hey!” You cut in before he was able to run out. “Um, since I am pretty much finished with the project, maybe I could come with you guys on the hunt…” You sheepishly proposed.

“No.” They both rejected your offer in unison.

“You’re not ready.” Dean ruled and cut off your protest. “I don’t have time to show you the ropes and worry about your ass. This is real life Y/N and as good as you are compared to the rest of the class, you still need more training.”

When Sam didn’t object the reasoning, you huffed in annoyance but didn’t push further. Instead you dove back into the work.

“Y/n it’s not that…” Dean started again after Sam left. “You’re… I don’t want to…”

You gritted your teeth together. “Whatever Dean.” You put in headphones to clearly show you were done with the conversation.

He sighed looking at his watch debating whether or not to open up, ultimately deciding it could wait another day. He headed out as well to start packing. The days were slow without them here. As anticipated, you finished up earlier than the others. You briefly considered following the boys, but didn’t want to risk being expelled. You honestly had no where to go. Going back to your foster family would only raise questions and most likely anger. You did miss them, but here you actually felt like you belonged. With graduation coming up only next year though, concern built. You would most likely end up like your mother, jumping from motel to motel, no real place to ever settle down.

Broseph and Serena took off early. He wanted her to meet his parents, who were also hunters. They would finish up their project there. Once Kaveri, Skylar and Ciara completed the assignment, they took off for break as well; leaving only you and Ned. Not that you didn’t like Ned… but you actively avoided him, trying to limit your social interactions to the rec room or the kitchen. Something about him gave you the creeps, you couldn’t exactly figure out what. Besides a bit of quiet time on break would do you good. Yet he always managed to find a way to follow you around.

The layout of the bunker was huge. And just when you thought you had discovered every inch of this place, another door always seemed to materialize out of thin air. You practiced your lock picking skills and popped the newly discovered door open. Another storage facility. Although this time it captured your eye. Instead of the usual piles of books; this one contained artifacts, reels from a super 8 camera, potions, and god knows what else. You were digging around for a film projector when Ned appeared from nowhere.

He was digging through another box. “Do you think Sam and Dean declawed this themselves?” He asked holding what looked like a raptor claw.

“Jesus Ned!” You swore out of shock. It seemed this was becoming a pattern. “What, is it like your semester project to follow me around?” “Pretty much.” He set the thing back in its box and flipped his hair aside. You couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or honest.

“Well, I don’t know, a lot of this stuff looks pretty old, I would say probably before their time.” You walked around the room, trying to create a bit of distance, until you noticed grooves along the floor indicating file cabinets repeatedly moved. “Ned.” You waved him over. “Take a look at this…” He looked at you and had the same thought. You both grabbed a cabinet and pulled it open revealing the dungeon behind it. A huge red devils trap and chair in the center, handcuffs hanging off the wall, devices that looked more of interrogation tools than practical hunting weapons.

Both of your mouths hung open. “Dude…” Was all Ned managed to utter in shock.

You cautiously advanced… “Do you think it is just for practice or they use it for real?”

“What would they need to practice?” Ned debated.

“I don’t know… maybe showing students a real life exorcism, um... “ You were at a lost.

“No, it’s definitely a torture chamber.” Ned decided.

“Stop.” You insisted “We are hunters not cold sadistic torturers…” You stepped inside the circle. “I bet it is just for role play…” Ned smirked. “You know what I mean. Learning through practice.” You clarified sitting down in the chair. “So… are you going to exorcise me?” You popped an eyebrow.

He tilted his head to the side.

“Exorci…” You egged on.

He jumped in. “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas…” You sat up in the chair. “Once I get outta here. I’m going to kill you and everyone of your little friends.” “Hey..” Ned stopped the chant, offended.

“I’m making it life like…” You whispered. “Keep going…” “Uhh… omnis incursio… uh… infernalis adversarii…” He stuttered trying to remember.

“Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica…” You piped in.

“Yeah, real life like Y/N, I’m sure the demon will be all the more willing to help.” He rolled his eyes.

“Listen Blink-182, I know I’m screwed either way so the sooner I smoke out of here, the sooner I can crawl back out of hell and peel off those fake eyelashes.” You goaded covering your tracks.

“Uh, they are not fake.” He gasped.

“Really?” You jumped back out of character. “What kind of mascara do you use? Sorry… back to it.” You settled back into the chair.

“Ergo draco, um… maledicte, ut expelliarmus…” He continued “Harry Potter.” You whispered.

“I mean, ut ex…” “Ecclesiam…” You reminded.

“Oh, right. Ecclesiam tuam secura, tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos.”

You rolled your eyes back and shook for a few moments before going limp. “Y/N… Y/N?” He whispered concerned not daring to enter the circle. “Y/N stop it.”

You couldn’t hold back anymore and clutched your stomach in laughter.

“You’re not funny.” He scoffed and went to leave.

“I’m fucking hilarious.” You follow him out, closing the cabinets behind you. “But seriously, mascara?”

“I stole Serena’s Better Than Sex, alright.” He confessed.

Your hand came down on his shoulder to catch yourself  buckling over in laughter. “Does she know?”

“No… don’t tell her… I replaced it with E.L.F.” He continued.

“Dude! You don’t have to worry about demons, she is going to kill you herseself.” You had to wipe away a tear in your eye.  

You both walked down the hallway to your rooms rambling hypothetically making up scenarios about Serena’s revenge.

He stopped at your room and coldly shifted topics. “Y/N, Do you really like Dean?”

“What? Who told you that?” You demanded.

“Skylar.” He admitted without hesitation.

You huffed in annoyance. “No, I don’t like Dean.” You lied not needing more drama or especially the rumor to reach the man himself. “Why would she say something like that?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, I just wanted to hear it from you.”

“O.. Kay…” You went into your room more confused than you Eurasian lore test.

By the time Christmas rolled around, the realization hit you that it was only you and Ned. Everyone else was off home with their families and Sam and Dean were still not back from their hunt. It didn’t even feel like Christmas, there was no snow on the ground, no tree, no presents. Ned ranted about the mix of Christian and pagan lore to celebrate a holiday that only worships capitalism.

You half-heartedly listened to him as you reflected back on Christmases with your mom. It was usually in a motel room or a Denny’s. Even Charley Brown’s Christmas tree usually put the one she found to shame. Gifts would consist of knick knacks found at gas stations like hostess apple pies, crossword puzzles, a stuffed bear holding a rose. But there was one year she went all out and bought you a polly pocket Cinderella castle. Looking back, she didn’t have fake credit cards, she must have picked up an extra job to pay for it. But you did it justice, carrying it around everywhere with you and spending countless hours building your fantasy life. If you thought hard enough, you’d even make a bet that you forced Sam to play when your mom and his dad were on a hunt together, but those memories were so long ago.

Christmas never felt traditional until you moved in with the last of your foster families. Your foster mom would wake you up every morning and the whole family would be downstairs progressively working their way through stockings and presents. Your foster dad would eventually turn on the TV to TBS while brunch was being served and you’d manage to watch A Christmas Story at least three times intermittently throughout the day. Relatives would come over for dinner and you’d help your foster mom in the kitchen preparing ham, potatoes, salad, rolls, really a full out feast. She’d probably still have a place set for you this year, hoping you’d show up.

You had to stop lingering on these thoughts so you convinced Ned to indulge in the capitalistic lifestyle and make Christmas dinner with you. Thankfully, Skylar and Kaveri showed up later in the evening because you had not adjusted the recipes to only fit two people. Even with them, there would still be plenty of leftovers.

Days had passed and the rest of the students had returned yet Sam and Dean still remained unheard from with class on schedule to begin tomorrow. You had braved the courage to call Sam once, but he didn’t answer, you couldn’t muster the courage again. Instead, you stayed up later than usual with your door cracked open hoping to hear them come in.

You stayed up reading, with only your desk light on. Although late, a few others were still up. You could hear Broseph’s passionate hollers down the hall as his sports team seemed to be rising to victory. With a jolt, you woke from the bed, you must have drifted to sleep momentarily. Coming from the room next to you was the all too sweet music of Pink Floyd’s The Wall, which you had missed so much since arriving here. The record was the only Christmas gift you had purchased this season - for Dean and partially you - as you could enjoy it from next door. And if the record was playing, that meant Sam and Dean were back. You resisted every urge to run over a greet him. So instead, you waited for him to come to you.

You pretended to dive back into your book but very shortly felt yourself slipping back into sleep. You went to wash your face and then planned to head for the kitchen to try and elicit a run-in. However, ‘Young Lust’ came up next. You couldn’t help but mouth along to the words and swing your hips enticingly around your room. You danced over to your and Dean’s adjoining wall imaging some sort of connection as you pressed your back against it.

‘Oh, baby set me free.’ You mouthed as your continued rocking your hips and reaching your arms above you pressing harder against the firm concrete. ‘Ooh, I need a dirty woman. Ooh, I need a dirty girl.’ You slid down the wall onto your knees air guitaring your way through the solo.

A cough instantly broke your concentration and your eyes popped open only to discover Dean had pushed the door open wider and was standing in it’s entrance. God only knows how long he had been watching your humiliating display. You immediately stood up, nervously combing your fingers through your hair.

“So, I suppose I have you to thank for the shiny new vinyl?” He asked.

You pretended to be confused.

“Well, Sam already gifted me some lube.” Your face contorted. “... For my car, for the car…” He recovered. “So with him off the list, that leaves… well nobody really.”

“I guess you have a secret admirer…” You winked.

“And you are going to pretend it’s not you, even though you were clearly enjoying it…” He challenged.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I guess we just get to mutually benefit… Oooh! Next time leave a note for, hmmm, maybe some Rush. Oh, and chocolate.” He chuckled. “Well, perhaps they already left you something?”

You furrowed your brow analyzing him further. His eyes hinted towards the base of your bed. You crouched down, looking underneath.

“What on earth?” You pulled out a box wrapped in Snoopy Christmas paper. Dean smiled as you lit up tearing apart the paper and realizing what it was. “Dean… you didn’t have too… How did you know?” You held a brand new record player.

“Whenever you stop in my room, your practically drooling over mine.” He remarked.

‘That’s not what I’m drooling over.’ You thought. “Dean, I love it.” You set it down on top of your bed. You waltzed over to him. “Thank you.” And gave him a hug without second guessing.

He was tense at first, surprise by it but then wrapped his arms around you. When you pulled back he did not release you from his embrace. You looked up at him, weariness from the hunt still hanging in eyes. His mouth danced closer to your lips, only breaths parted you. He searched your face for permission, neither one of you daring to close the gap. You pushed up on your toes but were too late. Dean had let go turning away from you.

“Shit!” He ran his hands through his hair. He turned back towards you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, Y/N.”

Before you could respond the sound of Sam and Joe’s voice grew closer from the end of the hall.

“Shit…” Dean muttered heading back to his room.

-------- 

Part 4

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[arazialotis]

The Thunder Rolls - Part 2

Pairing: Dean × Reader

Word Count: About 3800

Summary: Dean and Sam are on a case in your hometown but the trail is running cold. Dean is hoping to make a move before they leave town and start another case. Based of the Garth Brooks song with the same title.

Part 1

Warnings: Domestic Violence, Swearing

Please, if you are or ever find yourself in a situation of domestic violence, *do not hesitate* to reach out for help, support, or just to talk to someone about what is going on. The United States National Hotline (24/7 and Confidential) is 1-800-799-7233. This blog (http://togetherweare-strong.tumblr.com/helpline) also has hotlines for multiple other countries.

This is purely for a hobby and my enjoyment. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I am by no means a writer so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors. 

---

By the time you rolled home it was a full downpour, it was obvious the storm was only building and there was no clear end in sight. You showered to wash away the burden of a full work day but it still had not calmed you. Travis was still not home. Guilt hit you as you imagined him partaking in an affair. What if he was caught in the storm or worse, was in an accident. You dialed his number for a second time that evening but it only rang to be picked up by his voicemail. Surrendering, you dressed in your plaid flannel pajama pants and a gray v-neck t and went to find the relief of sleep.

As much as you tried to close your eyes in bed, you tossed and turned as your thoughts raced. Eventually, you couldn’t take lying down any longer. You paced the hallways by the front window waiting for his truck to pull in. You bit the nails of one hand while the other clung tight to your cell phone not wanting to miss his call if it came. A big crack of lightning flashed across the sky causing you to jump.

Rarely did you use alcohol to self medicate, seeing what it had done to Travis, but you felt as if your heart would beat out of your chest. You poured out whiskey over two cubes of ice, at least two shots worth. The whiskey burned your throat as you forced a healthy dose down causing you to hiss at the pain. Travis’ preference was more harsh than it was balanced, but it continued to warm you on its way down. You pressed the cold glass to your head to try and help numb your thoughts. It worked for a while, you lost track of time as you leaned against the counter.

It was 3:30 in the morning when you immediately noticed the light of headlamps sweep through the house being such a contrast to the regularly sharp flash of lightning. You instantly poured the remainder of the drink into the sink and left the cup on the counter. You practically ran out the front entrance and embraced your husband as soon as he shut the pick up’s door.

“I was so worried you may have been in an accident.” You explained seeking out comfort from him but he remained rigid.

That’s when you smelled it. Hidden between the scents of rain and alcohol, you smelled a sweet perfume, something you rarely, if not ever, wore. The lightning cracked in the sky and a roll of thunder roared loud enough to shake the ground. You knew your suspicion of an affair was true. You back away slowly and turned to run inside trying not to let him see you cry.

“Y/N.” You heard him call your name. You continued to run back into the kitchen, leaning over the sink afraid you may heave.

“Y/N.” His voice grew louder and every time it felt like a knife stabbing you in the gut.

When he reached the kitchen, he grabbed and yanked your wrist with such force it caused pain to ripple up into your shoulder in order to face him instead of the sink.

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. “How could you?” You demanded with tears and he answered you with a crooked smile. “Tell me Travis! How?”

“I put up with so much, you ungrateful bitch! Always whining and complaining, saying how I am not good enough for you.” Travis yelled.

“Are you kidding me?” You almost laughed at your newfound courage. “I have worked my ass off to make this work! I have been loyal, patient, understanding, submissive…” He cut you off smacking you hard across face, cracking just like the lightning outside. You held your face in complete disbelief as tears started to well up from the shock, he had never hit you in the face before.

“You selfish bitch,” he spat and threw you against the counter. “What I have to put up with. You think I wanted this life, to be tied to you.” You fell to the ground. “You are pathetic, you know that? So what, I have been sleeping around? You are a bore in bed and pitiful to look at.” He kicked you in the chest. “Who would want to look at those hideous bruises and scars while fucking anyway?”  

You gasped for breath and tried to crawl away. He stalked you like a cat stalked its prey, watching you attempt to escape but never giving you full control. You crawled into the hallway and struggled to pull yourself up onto two feet. Travis assisted you by grabbing your hair and yanking you up. He smashed you against the wall and pinned you to it with his body. His forearm pressed against your throat making it difficult to breathe.

“But that’s never stopped me, has it?” His fingers slipped under your shirt and caressed your side. He leaned in to whisper in your ear, you could feel his hot breath on your face. “You like it, don’t you.” He said it in a way that sounded like a revelation. “Being pushed around, roughened up… submitting.”

His fingers slid along the rim of your pajama bottoms and upon reaching the front undid the ribbon with one pull of the string. You sensed something was wrong about him, he typically didn’t give a damn about you or show this much malevolence. Maybe it was just the night because you felt different too, like the storm outside was raging inside your own heart.

“Not today Travis,” you sneered and spit in his face using it as a distraction to create a bit of space to knee him right in the groin.

As Travis groaned in pain, you sprinted down the hallway into the bedroom. You knew he would not be far behind and cried out in pain as you strained yourself pulling the dresser to act as a barricade. You frantically searched in Travis’ nightstand and under the bed for a pistol you knew he kept somewhere. The pounding came from the other side of the door as he called your name. You were terrified to go closer, but you had to search the dresser. Your heart accelerated as you looked through his drawers and he continued to pound. But you found it at last.

You retreated to the back corner of the room praying to God you wouldn’t have to use it. You didn’t have a lot of experience with guns, but you had enough. You checked to see if it was loaded, switched the safety off, and cocked it aiming it at the door. Eventually, the pounding at the door ceased and you sighed in relief hoping he would leave you alone for the rest of the night.

All was quiet, aside from the drops of rain hitting the window. You allowed yourself to slide down the wall and brought your knees to your chest, still not letting the pistol out of your hand. You were finally calm enough for your thoughts to start racing again. You had to leave him, you couldn’t keep living like this. Your mind went to Dean, would he be willing to help? He was the only thing different in this town, it was clear no one here would help you. They would suggest marriage counseling through the church or trying to make Travis happier. It wouldn't make a difference when every other night you would put up with it, control yourself, and behave and what seemed to be turning slowly into the need to fight for your life.

You wanted to pack a bag, to leave tonight, probably stay in a motel until you had things figured out. As you got up off the ground, you winced from the pain in your back and ribs. Before you even had the chance to start your way to the closet, the door flew open with such force that the dresser slid across the room smashing into the wall and causing the picture window to crack. You screamed in fear seeing Travis walk through, a look of murder in his eyes.

Without thinking, you drew up the pistol and shot in his direction, crying out as you did. Your ears rung, yet the room was silent, and felt wrong. Travis was still standing, with his eyes closed. You saw the bullet hole directly in his forehead and blood on the wall behind him. You watched in horror as he remained standing confused on why he wouldn't have collapsed.

Through the ringing in your ears and the thunder, you heard a low chuckle. The lightning flashed and his eyes opened to pitch black. You put your free hand over your mouth to afraid to make a sound.

“What a rush to the head!” He exclaimed excitedly, his eyes flashing back to normal only with streaks of blood through them.

Your heart stopped, this wasn’t real, you had to be hallucinating. But there he was clear as day. You were frozen with panic.

He felt the back of his head. “Now, that’s going to take a while to patch back up.” He slyly looked at you and licked his lips. “But you’ll be a lovely little distraction.”

You held up the gun again at his threat, unsure it would do any good but letting him know you were not going down without a fight.

“You’ve grown feisty,” He observed. “I think that should make this all the more fun.” He purred.

As he took a step towards you, you unapologetically fired two rounds, one missing him all together and the other landing in his chest. “You're going to regret that.” He hummed happily.

You fired another shot into his shoulder but it was clear you were not stopping him, just slowing him down. Tears slide silently down your face as you felt defeated and expected the worse, when your brain took control of your body not yet giving up. You fired again, two shots, this time at the window. It cracked even further and by the time you jumped over the bed and launched yourself into it, it shattered, setting you free into the open.

No time was wasted to look back, you took off running through the storm, within seconds soaked by the pouring rain. You ran as far as adrenaline would take you. You stopped to catch your breath and realized you were in the downtown area, which for this town was only about two blocks worth of businesses. Not wanting to be exposed, you led yourself into a small alleyway between two buildings. Leaning your back against the wall, you tried to catch your breath but your whole body was shaking with adrenaline and fear. The gun seemed glued to your hand almost unwilling to let go.

You allowed yourself a couple of sobs, but when it felt like the sobs were needing to be turned to screams of horror, you forced yourself to stop not wanting to wake someone.  Distracting yourself, you walked the streets and alleyways trying to come up with a plan. Your mind flashed to Dean and you cursed yourself as his card was in your purse that was still at home. As you walked, you tried to convince yourself it was for the best, it wouldn’t be good calling a fed with a gun in your hand, trying to explain you had just shot your husband three times but that he was unaffected and wanted to kill you slowly enjoying every bit of it.

Upon your feet leading you to the only motel downtown, you realized you wouldn’t be able to stay there having no money on you. There was no question you could go to your family’s house. They would start asking questions and accusing you. Not to mention probably calling Travis, alerting him to your location.

That’s when you saw it. A familiar old black car. Something in your memory clicked but it took you a while to visualize it. You remembered Dean and his partner earlier this week, chatting at the diner, leaving payment on their booth and then walking outside. Getting into that car and driving off. Your body dragged you closer to the car without your full awareness. You guessed which hotel room was theirs on the bases of where the car was parked. Your free hand raised to knock on the door as your whole body continued to shiver. A voice inside your head said this was the most stupid idea you had ever had, but you went with your gut and tapped on the door three times.

---

The lead early the evening had sounded promising but turned into a total bust. Sam had centered a few of the crimes to a nearby factory. There was definitely sulfur in the men’s locker room but after hours of interviewing the crews and giving them a plastic water bottle containing holy water, Dean ‘accidentally’ spilling some on those who would not drink, it was clear the demon had moved on or his vessel worked another shift.

Sam had found another case a couple states over and argued that it was more pressing than the current one. Dean argued back saying that they weren’t going to leave a job only halfway finished. Sam agreed to one more day of interviewing 1st and 2nd shifters at the factory, but was not going to agree to stay any longer.

The storm got worse but both Sam and Dean were able to fall asleep. Dean was traditionally a light sleeper without alcohol and tonight's beers wore off early. When he woke from dreams he assumed it was a clap of thunder but the pounding continued. He concentrated harder when the pounding halted and then repeated. It finally hit him that someone was knocking at the door. He picked up the alarm clock bringing it closer to his face to get a clearer view of the time but the hour of the morning confused him more. He grabbed his pistol from under his pillow and then threw the pillow at Sam waking him up.

Sam jolted up looking around for trouble, but saw Dean with his pistol in hand and finger to his lips. Dean nodded to the door with his head and the knocking repeated again. Sam got up and found the demon knife stepping behind his brother ready for whatever was on the other side of the door.

The motel had no peep hole so Dean put his ear against the door looking for any other clues. He heard ‘please’ barely whispered and then just two more very soft and gentle knocks. Dean put his pistol down and motioned to Sam to lower the knife. Sam did, but did not let go of it.

Dean opened the door to the storm outside and there you were right in the entry way soaked to the bone, shivering and the pistol still in your hand. He could see that your cheek was red and swollen and that your gray t-shirt didn’t hide your bruises as well as your shirt from the bar.

It took a second for Dean, still in the haze of sleep to recognize you but when he did he quickly guided you into the room. “Y/N?” He asked worried.

Sam closed the door and turned on the light as Dean led you. Sam went for the holy water, but Dean held out his hand to pause him. Dean guided you to sit down on his bed, you remained silent formulating your story, preparing for an FBI interrogation. Neither of them asked you any questions, Dean went to work trying to comfort you while Sam eyed you suspiciously. Dean wrapped two towels around your shoulder and used a washcloth to try and dry your hair when you didn’t respond to him offering it to you.

Your hair was still wet but no longer dripping, and Dean knelt down to try and meet your downward facing gaze, hoping to revive you from your catatonic state.

He brushed a strand of hair that was in your face aside and simply asked you, “Y/N, what happened?”

The pistol finally fell from your hand, you curled in on yourself not wanting them to see your weakness, but you began to weep. Dean looked at Sam for some direction, but Sam shrugged his shoulders. Dean picked up your pistol and unloaded it, seeing that several rounds were missing. He clicked the magazine back into place, put the safety on, and tossed it to Sam.

He sat on the floor while you continued to cry not wanting to press you for information and upset you further. You settled down a bit and wiped your tears with the towel that was still wrapped around your shoulder. Now that adrenaline was out of your system and you felt somewhat safe, the full pain from the evening started to set in on your face, wrist, chest, and back. You were determined not to become sick from it in front of them. Sam brought you a glass of water. Taking a few sips helped you calm down further. Dean knew he had laced it with holy water and Sam was more at ease when you showed no reaction.

You set the glass down on the counter, trying as much as you could to avoid eye contact with either of them ashamed of what you had done and bringing it to them. Dean moved from the floor to the bed to sit straight across from you. He gently reached for your hand trying to direct your attention to him and give you a sense of support.

You let him take your hand, he examined your wrist where light bruising had started from how hard Travis grabbed it. He closed his eyes for a few seconds deciding where to start again.

“Hey, Y/N?” He asked seeing if you would react better this time. “Me and my brother, we’re not actually FBI agents.” Sam flinched nervous at where Dean was going. “We use it as a cover to help people who are in danger of things that can’t be explained. So even if you feel like you did something bad, you can tell us, we won’t hurt you or lock you up.” He tried to explain as calmly and softly as possible.

His steady voice soothed you and for some reason, maybe it was the shine of his eyes, you knew that you could trust him.

“I…. I…” You stuttered.

Sam finally popped in offering support as well. “It’s okay, take your time.”

You took a deep breath and forced the words out as softly as you could. “I shot him.” You finally confessed.

Dean knew you meant the asshole who covered you in bruises and tried not to take delight in your retaliation against him.

“Who?” Sam inquired.

“Travis, my husband.” You were terrified even to mention him. “The way he came at me tonight, I couldn’t…” “You don’t have to explain yourself. Not to us.” Dean stated cutting you off already understanding half the reason why you did it.

You looked Dean straight in the eyes. “He’s not dead.” You confessed panicked. “I don’t know how, or I must be going crazy, but I shot him three times, straight in the head, and he walked it off like it was a simply an annoyance. He’s going to kill me Dean! He’s going to kill me.” You explained becoming more hysteric.

Dean jumped from the bed he was sitting on to yours and wrapped his arms around you, Sam was quickly by your side as well kneeling on the ground.

“Hey, hey.” Dean tried to sooth you. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay.” He repeated over, rubbing your shoulders looking at Sam knowing they had found their demon.

“Y/N, I know it is hard to talk about, but what else was off tonight?” Sam inquired wanting to make sure. “Any strange detail could be important.”

Dean didn’t let go of you which is probably the only reason why you were able to continue. “He came home late. He just started cheating on me, I didn’t want to believe it, but tonight there was this perfume on him, that wasn’t mine. And I, I just couldn’t put up with him anymore. He’s always been rough, but tonight, it was like he was seeking blood. I didn’t mean to shoot him, I just wanted to scare him. But he forced the door open so hard, I don’t know where he got the strength. And I was just so scared I pulled the trigger. I don’t know how it landed right between his eyes, but it did and he just stood there, unfazed. I swear when he opened his eyes they were pitch black.” Tears started spilling out again.

Dean curled you into his chest. “We’re going take care of this.” You could feel his voice vibrating through his chest. “He’s never going to hurt you again.”

“How?” You asked not seeing a way to stop him if bullets wouldn’t.

“You let us worry about that.” Sam said not wanting to yet explain demons and monsters to you.

Dean noticed you were still shivering. “Why don’t you take a shower to relax and warm up? Then maybe get some rest?” Dean suggested. You nodded your head. “Come on.” He guided you up and to the bathroom.

He turned the water on and adjusted the temperature for you and brought you one of his dry t-shirts and sweatpants. Steamed started to fill the bathroom and Dean was about to close the door.

“Please, don’t leave.” You pleaded wanting them to stay at the motel.

“We’ll be right out here, call if you need anything.” He explained and waited for you to nod in agreement.

He closed the door but left it open a crack for your comfort. Sam was back on his laptop looking up information on Travis. He had quite a record of small misdemeanors and worked at the factory they had gone to earlier in the evening.

“He’s definitely our guy.” Sam observed.

“Even if he wasn’t, I still would go over to teach him a lesson.” Dean said sternly. “No one deserves what she’s been through.”

“We have to be careful, he already knows we are in town. He’ll smoke out again if he sees us coming.” Sam explained.

“Yeah, I’d like to get Y/N’s input on his behavior lately once she’s gotten some rest. Where he’s been going, any patterns she knows off. We should check the factory again to and see if he’s been showing up for shifts.” Dean added.

“We could use her…” Sam suggested.

“No, out of the question.” Dean demanded. “She can’t even get through a sentence without panicking, no way we are using her as bait.”

“Then what’s your plan?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know, but we’ll find another way.” Dean stated firmly, trying to think of something while rubbing his forehead.

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