#it's 1am im gonna go to sleep bye guys
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quodekash · 1 year ago
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this kid getting lost is such a mood
except for me its not "getting lost on the way to the top of a mountain that's really dangerous and far away to get to", it's more like "getting lost on the way to a friend's place who lives 15 minutes away, while they were trying to tell you where to go, and also whose house you have been to more times than you can count, but then you had to sit at a playground and wait for them to come pick you up because youre just that hopeless at navigation"
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WAIT THIS IS SO FUNNY
THEY'RE IN THE SAME PLACE AGAIN
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING I WOULD DO OML
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stop i might cry
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this kid is amazing
i would trust him to guide me into the afterlife
he could take over charon's job fr
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PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
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im shivering so much rn, leeches give me the heebiejeebies more than like. anything
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i smell merch??
(side note: why are earth/phu's arms so veiny in that shot)
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i just love him so much
i hate children but i would adopt this one and take care of him better than hes ever been taken care of before
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HSDHSDHHDS
HIS ONE CHARACTER TRAIT IS LOVING HOW PRAN SMELLS AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH
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he's just so silly
their father/son dynamic will be the end of me
especially when i think about pat and his relationship with his actual dad :(
PLS EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO OVERDRAMATIC
PHU POINTING A GUN AT A BUSH WHEN ITS DEFINITELY JUST GONNA BE ONE OF THE LOST GUYS
PAT TRIPPING OVER A ROOT
PRAN AND TIAN GRIPPING FOR DEAR LIFE SO THAT THEY CAN MAKE IT UP A SLIGHT HILL
IF THEY LOSE THEIR GRIP, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN
ITS SO FUNNY TO ME
BUT ALSO ITS SO UNNECESSARILY DRAMATIC
AND THIS IS COMING FROM A DRAMA KID
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SEE????
i love him so much
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GUYS CALM DOWN OMG
I CANT STOP LAUGHING
ITS LITERALLY GOING TO BE FINE
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SEE????
also once again: his arm is so veiny???
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THEM <33333333
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
GERHSGBDRHV
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these dramatic-ass gays
(i was gonna say something about the importance of grammar there and the hyphen needing to be where it is for it to be right / make sense, but "dramatic ass-gays" would also work)
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LOOK AT THEMMMMM
PHUTIAN WALKING WITH THEIR SON BETWEEN THEM LIKE THE DADS THEY ARE, AND THEIR ADOPTED SONS PATPRAN WALKING WITH THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER
THEY ALL MEAN SO MUCH TO ME
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wait how long were they gone for
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HIS SMILE <3
HIS DIMPLES <3
PAT'S FACE ON THE SIDE THERE <3
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T H E Y A R E D A D S
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are you sure about that
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theyre so important to me
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<3
i really want noodles now
its 1am and i want noodles
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theyre listening carefully to all the tea, tuning in to the drama
its just, some are more discreet about it than others
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look at this little guy
just enjoying his noodles while the adults do their adult things
i love him so very very much
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something about this image is just so funny to me
i think its the kid
i genuinely forgot his name
but i love him so much
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as a 158cm tall (5'2) person, i dont like how tall they all are
knowing that ohm is 186cm tall and nanon and earth are 183cm hurts me on a deep emotional level
theyre so small. theyre such tiny little silly guys. and yet theyre all more than 20cm taller than me.
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honestly i agree
he's wonderful
he's multi-talented
just like sound
by the way, soundwin = patpran and if you dont believe me, click here! (that was a seamless transition into a very casual self promo)
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holy hell i love this child so much
i would protect Kampung with my freaking life
i would die for him without a second thought
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i should also probably do that
my eyes keep going shut so then i need to pause the episode for like twelve seconds so i can get a little bit of sleep
its getting more and more difficult, though
i think ill finish in the morning, it's saturday tomorrow
goodnight!! bye-bye!!
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skinnywishes-toast · 5 months ago
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GUYS BYE IM TWEAKING OUT?????? 😣😣😣 I'm in the mountains for 2 weeks, it's 1am, it's pitch black and I'm in a gypsy wagon farthest from everyone else, I was on a call with my bsf earlier and she convinced me that skinwalkers were gonna kill me at 12:32am and I couldn't go to sleep so I convinced myself I was gonna die 😰 my stomach started hurting so bad and I got so scared I went outside and threw up and then went back in and got into a bra and short swim shorts cuz I was sweating snd I was so hot snd scared and then I called my dad and told him ab it and he laughed at me (wow dad 😔) and then we said goodbye and I tried to go to sleep cuz the time she said passes so I felt better kinda BUT I STILL CANT AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT MY PHONE WAS DYING AND I COULDNT CHARGE IT CUZ MY PROTABLE CHARGERS DIED AND IM IN A GYPSY WAGON!...I keep imagining what would have happened if I was high rn and I think I may have broke down sobbing and ran across the area crying anyways I can't sleep now and I'm charging my phone with my computer so live laugh love guys (ON YOP OF THAT PT.2 IM IN THE APPALACHIAN MOUNTAINS)
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juno-actual-god · 4 years ago
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part 2 of kinda analyzing the lyrics of Defying Gravity but also running on tangents and rambling :)
-continuing from where we left off with Elphaba. love her. um yeah let's goooo-
I'd sooner buy defying gravity
(this line is amusing. like bruh. you can't buy that but go off ig)
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
(she wants a kiss! me too. can i kiss her? no. big sad.)
[Elphaba:]
Glinda, come with me
Think of what we could do, together!
(now Elphaba is doing the hopeful thing! this whole bit is so pure)
[not entirely sure if they both sing this but ik Elphaba does:]
Unlimited
Together, we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest
Team there's ever been
Glinda, dreams the way we planned 'em
[both:]
If we work in tandem
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I, defying gravity
With you and I defying gravity
They'll never bring us down!
[Elphaba:]
Well, are you coming?
(They sing all that together and Elphaba is So Hopeful. this is Her Friend. the first person that helped her and tried to understand her so sUrely she'll defy gravity with her too)
[Glinda:]
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this
(and bam. Glinda's taking a step back and very softly something cracks)
[Elphaba:]
You, too
(wow. important. they want the other person to be happy.)
[Glinda?:]
I hope it brings you bliss
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
[both:]
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy my friend
(!!!! "my friend." they're disagreeing and they're angry but they both set that aside for a moment and recognize that they are friends. i just- bruh friendships are so cool. like. do you ever just. love your friends? appreciate them. cuz I forget and then something like this pops it into my brain - w o w just. that there are people out there that love me, not because they're related to me, or someone told them to, but purely because a person wanted to spend time and get to know me i- nbsagnzxb okay.)
[Elphaba:]
So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately
"Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"
(i don't remember who told her that. but um yas fly queen!!)
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
(yOuch? interesting message tho. that it's better to do what you will then have people holding you back. i think that really depends on the situation. um I could wax more poetic about how much I love my friends because I am a dumbass and they hold me back from doing things. and for that, i'm grateful. but also unhealthy friendships are bad. so idk about this one. i think it's a good thought. to think over. just idk about executing it)
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am defying gravity!
I'm flying high, defying gravity!
(break away from the haters. wreck them. ooo sic the flying monkeys on them lol)
And soon, I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!
(Agghhh chillls. no thoughts. head empty and g a y)
[Glinda:]
I hope you're happy
(we love the support. when i go feral, I hope my friends hope im happy. lol she's not feral. me however-)
[stinky town folk with the green-tinted glasses:]
Look at her! She's wicked!
Get her!
(um. yeah. they don't like her. who knew.)
[Elphaba:]
Bring me down!
(hello? yes i think i'm in l o v e )
[green men:]
No one mourns the wicked!
(damn that isn't true. you queer code them and it's very sexy of you)
So we've got to bring her
[Elphaba:]
Oh!
(pretty riff thing!!. i always think it's like super high but it's totally in my range i just cant belt it. lol)
[g:]
Down!
(literally leaVe this Woman Alone)
ok that's it lads. hope u had fun. idk what im doing i just like writing things. uh if these blow up like literally at all- i'll make more. it's fun. also you can't stop me so i might do it anyway :)))
till our paths cross again <3
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butterflyyeo · 3 years ago
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drunk in love
pairing - yeosang x fem reader
genre - fluff, angst (?)
tw - lots of alcohol consumption, swearing
wc - 10k
side ships - seongjoong, yungi
a/n -- was meant to be angst but turned into fluff... im trying my best to get better at writing angst aaaah. but please enjoy this for now <3 thanks for letting me tag you @iminchaosnow !!
------------------------------------------- you had known kang yeosang for nearly two years now. two, dreadfully slow and exhausting years.it was your final year of high school when he transferred to your school, he was a close family friend of wooyoung's. his parents had spoken highly of the school, insisting that yeosang transfers in order to excel for his last year of schooling. as far as you were concerned, he had decent grades, but he preferred to spend his time hanging around the skatepark after dark, when everyone else had left.
and in all the two years you'd known him, you had never once had a full conversation with him, despite being in your group of friends. his side of the 'conversation' usually consisted of monotonous 'yeahs' and 'mhms'. wooyoung constantly assured you it was because he's shy and that he'd eventually open up. but you weren't convinced. you tried so hard for him to like you, but your efforts were fruitless. it was infuriating, feeling like you were constantly doing something wrong whenever you were around him.
you currently found yourself in the backseat of yeosang's car, wedged between a drunken yunho and mingi while a chaotic wooyoung was singing along to his chosen playlist. (though, it sounded more like wailing.)
you and the eight boys had all decided to take a gap year, spend every last cent you earned on adventure and alcohol to make lifelong memories, before your careers became a blockade in your friendship. but the year was coming to an end soon, it was already mid november. on the bright side, that meant your favourite holidays were just weeks away.
yeosang was always the designated driver. that was something you had noticed about him over the last few years. to be honest, you weren't sure just how he coped with a screeching wooyoung, because you sure as hell weren't dealing very well with yunho and mingi who were playing a very intense game of rock paper scissors to decide who would be crashing on the couch in your apartment.
"i win!" mingi cheered, waving his hands excitedly. "you're on the couch, man."
yunho frowned, "damn."
you laughed, "it's okay, yunho. you can share the bed with me if you'd like."
"hey! that's not fair y/n! you said i could this time." wooyoung whined from the front seat.
"sorry, woo. you know i keep my promises, but you're going back to your apartment. remember?" you tried to reason.
wooyoung looked as though someone had switched a lightbulb on behind his eyes, "oh yeah! i forgot."
the four of you burst into laughter, mainly caused by the alcohol and partially because of wooyoung's realisation. and still, yeosang didn't crack a smile, hands just gripping the steering wheel tighter as his knuckles turned white.
soon, you arrived outside your apartment block, quickly stepping out the car after yunho. wooyoung wound his window down and you poked your head in, attempting to hug him goodbye.
"bye woo!" you said, giggling at your faltered farewell.
"good night y/n, thanks for the drinks!" he shouted, exclaiming a bit too loudly next to your ear.
"thanks for the lift as always, yeosang!" you yelled, pulling away from wooyoung's tight hug.
he nodded, "no problem." before putting the window up and driving away.
you pouted, turning around to face the two boys. "i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong." you buried your face into your hands, "why doesn't he like me?" you groaned.
"y/n." mingi began, "its nearly 1am, its way too late for this 'why does yeosang hate me?' crap." he shook your shoulders, literally trying to shake some sense into you.
"yeah, mingi's right. we've had this discussion a thousand times." yunho said grasping your wrist and pulling you up the stairs, stumbling along the way. (because lets be real, stairs are difficult enough as it is, let alone when drunk.) "now, let us into your apartment so we can eat your food and crash on your couch!" he joked, nudging mingi in a playful manner.
you reached into your pocket and fumbled around with they key for a moment before unlocking the door. the boys practically pushed you inside and made a beeline for the fridge.
"help yourselves! i'm going to shower." you called, dragging yourself to your bedroom.
once you'd finished showering you went back to the living room to check on yunho and mingi. not so much to your surprise, they had fallen asleep on your couch already, cuddled up into each other. it was cute, even picture worthy to show their sober selves. you reached for your phone which typically lived in your pocket, though you began to panic when it wasn't there. hurrying around the apartment, you searched every possible nook and cranny for your phone, but it was nowhere to be found. you collapsed onto your bed, snuggling into the soft sheets, too tired to worry about your phone anymore and content with the assumption that you'd left it in yeosang's car.
shortly, your heavy eyes fell shut and you began to sleep away the tequila.
————————
the next morning you awoke to mingi and yunho's deep, hungover voices, discussing their plans for the next week.
you reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and dawdled down the hallway.
"ah! there's our favourite karaoke partner!" yunho greeted, jokingly.
you laughed, "shh, don't let wooyoung hear you say that."
"she's right, man. he'd be so offended." mingi said, stretching out his sore limbs. "how are you feeling today, y/n?" he asked.
"not the worst hangover i've had. what about you guys? you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, until you feel better." you replied, knowing them well enough to know that they'd need at least a few painkillers and a good meal before they went home.
yunho chuckled, "i feel like crap, but nothing a sandwich and glass of water can't solve."
"i second that." mingi said, raising a hand.
"okay, well in that case, i'll go to the store and get something for breakfast. sound good?" you reasoned, running a hand through your hair. you loved these boys, and making them breakfast was just a nice way of showing you cared. drunk or not, they knew how to make you smile and laugh, which they loved to see.
"sounds amazing!" yunho said, breaking into a sincere smile.
you quickly changed out of your pyjamas and slipped some shoes on.
"i might be a bit longer, i need to stop by yeosang's. i think i left my phone in his car." you explained, picking your keys up from the kitchen counter. "see you guys soon! feel free to take a shower if you want." you said, waving goodbye and heading out the door.
"okay, bye y/n!" the boys called from behind you.
the first stop was yeosang's apartment, he only lived about ten minutes away with wooyoung and san, in the same building as jongho. both yunho and mingi lived on the other side of town, which is why they so often crashed at your place after parties. seonghwa and hongjoong were fortunate enough to live in a house, just outside town, they had actually been the hosts of last night's party.
it didn't take long to get there. you pushed open the lobby door and made your way over to the elevator, disappointed to see that it was out of order for maintenance. instead, you took the stairs and began spiralling upwards. less than a minute later you looked up, only to bump into the man you came looking for.
"oh, yeosang! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to." you quickly apologised, worried about creating another reason for him to dislike you.
"it's fine." he shrugged.
you both began to talk again at the same time, "ah, sorry, you go."
"i was just gonna say, you left your phone in my car. actually, i was about to bring it back." he pulled your phone from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to you. as he did, your fingers brushed against his. he spun around suddenly and began to walk away, "i'll see you around."
he had left before you even had a chance to thank him. slightly confused and frustrated, you turned back around and traipsed down the stairs.
you gathered what you needed for a hearty breakfast at the local convenience store before heading home and spending the rest of the day in the enjoyable company of yunho and mingi.
yeosang had entered back into his apartment and sat down on the couch.
"back already?" wooyoung asked, rummaging through the fridge.
"she was coming to get her phone and i ran into her on the staircase."
wooyoung sighed, "when are you gonna stop hating her?"
"i don't hate her." yeosang said, not looking up from his phone.
"then why do you act like you do?"
yeosang pretended to not hear that question and continued to scroll through his phone. see, he'd rather not dwell on things that he couldn't understand.
————————
to fill up your weekdays during your gap year, you had picked up a job at a hotel in town as a receptionist. to your dismay, your boss had asked you to work night shift all week, which is how you found yourself here on thursday night, sitting alert and waiting for the slight chance that someone might check in at this time of night. it was a pretty fancy hotel, and the job payed well enough, so really, you had nothing to complain about.
the nights seemed to drag on for an eternity. to keep yourself busy, you often wasted time counting the cars that drove past, or tried to count the number of crystals that hung from the chandelier. so far, only a few people had checked in during your shift, having come from overseas and recently arriving at the airport. honestly, whenever someone walked through the front door, lugging a suitcase behind them, you got excited as it gave you something to do.
the clock was creeping up to 4am and you let out a quiet yawn, feeling drowsy as your body clock hadn't yet adjusted to the change of sleeping patterns on such short notice. taking a sip of water, you shook your head, trying to stay awake. your head suddenly jolted up at the sound of the front door opening.
a man stumbled forward, and you'd seen enough zombie movies to become instantly paranoid. you quickly pushed the thought out of your head, feeling ridiculous for even considering it. but as the man got closer, you could smell the cheap, potent alcohol lingering on his body.
he leant against the desk, peering down at you. "i need a room for the night."  he grumbled. "my stupid wife kicked me out." he said under his breath.
you forced a friendly smile, despite feeling uneasy, "of course! i just need you to fill in this form with some simple details." you said, sliding across a clipboard and a pen.
he huffed, picking up the pen and scribbling onto the sheet of paper before pushing it back to you. "can i go now?"
"just a moment, sir." you replied, eyes skimming over the form as you copied the information into the computer in front of you.
the man was growing impatient, stepping from foot to foot with his arms crossed.
"uh, sir, you missed a part of the form. could you please provide your phone number here." you pointed to the empty space on the sheet.
"for fucks sake." he muttered, "i don't have my phone on me and i don't know my phone number." he said, annoyedly tapping on the desk.
"i'm really sorry, sir, but—"
"can't you just find me a fucking room?" he snapped, hands balled into fists and slamming against the desk, making you jump in fright.
before you had time to try and reason with him, he continued to shout.
"you're as stupid as my wife! i'll just find a different fucking hotel." he yelled, swiping the clipboard and pen off the desk. "useless bitch." he mumbled as he kicked over a chair on his way out.
you chewed your bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears. with shaky hands, you picked up your phone and dialled the first place that came to mind. after a few rings, the phone answered.
"woo?" you croaked, trying hard to not cry.
"he's asleep. this is yeosang." he replied, evidently having just woken up by the sound of his voice.
"oh." you began, instantly feeling guilty for waking him up, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to disturb you."
"did you need something?" he asked.
"i just, i was..." you let out a sob, wiping at a tear falling from your eye.
this didn't go unnoticed by yeosang, "are you crying? what are you doing awake right now anyway?"
"i'm at work." you managed to choke out.
"at 4am?"
"i'm on night shift."
"why are you crying then?" he asked, feeling something slightly tug at his heart, but choosing to ignore it.
you began to ramble, "a man came in and he was really drunk and complaining about his wife and then he yelled at me because i asked him to give his phone number and—"
"i'm on my way." yeosang cut you off.
"what?"
"i'll be there in ten." with that, he hung up the phone.
exactly ten minutes later, you were sat in the passenger seat of yeosang's car. he was dressed in sweats, clearly having come straight from bed. you'd left a note on the desk, explaining to your coworker why you wouldn't be there when she arrived to take over your shift. a silence filled the car, and you felt the need to talk, but chose not to, worried about giving yeosang another reason to hate you.
once you arrived outside your apartment building, you were surprised that yeosang got out the car too and trailed closely behind you up the stairs to your apartment. when you reached the door you spun around to face him.
"thank you for bringing me home." you said, voice quiet and still rather shaken up.
"it's no problem. good night, y/n." he replied, sensing that you were still upset. he suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you tightly and not let go until you stopped crying. he wanted to protect you from every drunk idiot on the planet. he wanted to make you feel safe.
but instead, he watched as you closed the door behind you and locked it from inside.
————————
you arrived at work the next morning, instantly feeling more comfortable with cleaners, employees and people coming and going. immediately, you headed for your boss's office.
"good morning, sir. i just wanted to come and apologise for leaving my shift early last night. i can assure you it won't happen again." you said, feeling nervous as to what your boss might say.
he shook his head, "i should be the one apologising, a man came in this morning and spoke very sternly about the safety problems here. i realise now how stupid it was of me to make you work night shift, alone, at such a young age. we've hired security guards and have also made sure that two people will be on desk at all times. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that."
you were at a loss for words, you didn't think that there would be such drastic changes just from the once incident. "thank you so much." you replied.
"for now, take the rest of the day off. you'll only be working day shifts for next week and can return to doing night shifts whenever you feel ready to do so." your boss said, motioning for the door.
the rest of the day you spent in deep sleep, catching up on some much overdue rest.
———————
weeks passed and you found that work was much more enjoyable. you still hadn't returned to working night shifts, but at least now you had someone to run the front desk with you and keep you company.
this weekend, you were going to visit hongjoong and seonghwa. hongjoong was sick and so you decided to go help out since seonghwa couldn't always be there to look after him.
you knocked on their front door and was surprised to be greeted by san.
"good afternoon! come in." he gave you a hug before ushering you inside.
"what are you doing here?" you said, following him down the hall.
in the living room, you saw all eight of the boys gathered around a couch-ridden hongjoong.
"jongho was already here when me, yeosang and woo arrived." san explained.
"yeah, and then mingi and yunho turned up." wooyoung continued.
"y/n! i have never been more glad to see you! you gotta save me from them." hongjoong laughed, arms open, signalling for a hug.
you went over and embraced him in a hug, "good thing i brought an excessive amount of cookies." you said, placing the box of cookies on the coffee table next to the couch. the table was covered in empty mugs and bowls, you could tell seonghwa had been busy and hadn't had the chance to clean up. you opened up the box and handed him a cookie before offering them around to the rest of the boys.
"you're the best cook ever." mingi said, taking a big bite.
"i made you spaghetti last night!" yunho countered, feeling offended that his roommate didn't think he was the better cook. mingi just laughed and took another bite.
"jongho get off the counter, please." seonghwa said, coming through the front door. "don't be so comfortable, you were throwing up in my toilet like a month ago." he joked.
yeosang glanced your way, his eyebrows furrowed like he was contemplating something.
"lets head off and give these two some space." yunho said, dragging mingi behind him.
wooyoung stood up, "yeah, lets get going."
yeosang pulled his keys from his pocket, "okay, bye guys." he said, heading down the hallway.
"can we get some food on the way home?" you heard san call as they left.
"bye hongjoong! i hope you're feeling better soon." jongho said, "bye seonghwa, i promise i won't throw up in your toilet any time soon." he joked, leaving through the front door.
"seonghwa, how are you? don't forget to take some time for yourself as well." you frowned.
"i'm tired, but i'll be okay. i just gotta clean up and—"
"why don't you go rest a while? i can keep hongjoong company for a few hours." you reasoned, wanting to help as much as possible. there was nothing you hated more than seeing you friends in distress and upset.
he looked between hongjoong and yourself, "i couldn't."
hongjoong let out an audible huff, "hwa! will you just let her help please, she clearly wants to."
you grinned, "exactly, now go read or sleep or watch some tv or something." you said, gently pushing him towards their shared bedroom.
you spent the afternoon tidying up and talking with hongjoong. you managed to do all the dishes and put them away before scouring their kitchen, deciding on what you could use for dinner. you found everything you needed for a decent meal and began cooking it up. hongjoong had dozed off mid conversation, surrounded in a pile of tissues, you chose to let him sleep so he would recover quicker.
about an hour later, you placed two steamy hot meals onto their dining table next to two full glasses of water. you quietly knocked on their bedroom door, finding seonghwa asleep amongst the covers.
you gently shook him awake, "hwa, i made dinner for you guys. you can wake joong up, i'll head off now." you said with a smile.
leaving the two of them to enjoy their dinner, you headed home and cooked yourself something to eat. it was nice having some time to yourself, but saturday nights were becoming more and more empty as winter grew closer. december was only days away and the year would soon come to an end. you reached for the phone, suddenly desperately missing your friends despite only seeing them hours ago.
"hey woo, are you free next weekend?" you asked.
he paused a moment, "i think so, why?"
"you wanna go out with the others? it's been a while since we have all caught up for drinks."
"count me in!" wooyoung cheered.
you called everyone else up and they all agreed, even hongjoong promised to come if he was feeling better.
————————
you found yourself surrounded by wooyoung, san, yunho and mingi as the music blared. it was a less popular club on the far side of town but it was a comfortable place for you all. you often came here for drinks and the staff members knew you, quite well, a little too well. san grabbed your hand and spun you around a few times with the music.
you laughed, leaning against him, "maybe spinning around isn't the best idea right after two shots of vodka."
"what?" san yelled into your ear, struggling to hear you over the music.
you laughed louder, pulling him closer to you, "i said, spinning is not a good idea after drinking vodka!"
"oh!" he joined you in laughing before trying to twirl you around once more.
hongjoong and seonghwa sat at the bar, holding hands and being intimate as always. yeosang was sat next to jongho at a booth, quietly talking with him, but from the corner of your eye, you saw jongho stand up and walk away. your eyes watched him worriedly and you couldn't help but run after him. you followed him as best you could, stumbling every now and then. he'd gone to the bathroom so you patiently waited outside until he came back, looking slightly pale.
you practically leapt at him, doing a quick scan to make sure he was okay, "jongho? are you alright?"
he smiled at your overwhelming concern, "yeah, i just drank too much as usual. i'll be alright, you can go back to dancing."
"let me just get you some water first. i'll be right back okay?" you patted his shoulder. "don't go anywhere i'll be back in a second."
you made your way back to where jongho had been sitting with yeosang. as you approached, yeosang eyed you up and down, taking in your drunken state, though, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you this way. you nearly tripped as you reached the table, struggling to walk in heels.
"i need a glass of water, do you have a glass of water? jongho needs a glass of water." you mumbled to yourself, reaching for the jug in the center of the table.
"are you okay?" yeosang asked, quickly pushing your hand away from the jug.
"i'm okay, but jongho needs water. can i take this cup? he's waiting for me, i told him not to go anywhere, i need to get back to jongho—" you tried to pick up a glass but yeosang pressed your hand back down once more.
"i'll take it to him, you stay here." he said, filling the cup full with water and heading towards the bathrooms.
your brain suddenly felt fuzzy and your eyes became blurry, it was like the alcohol hit your system all at once. your head spun round and round and you leaned forward, resting your hands on your head. you'd never felt this sick from drinking, maybe you'd had too much too quickly, maybe it was the spinning. there was no way to tell, all you knew was that you felt like you were about to fall from the top of a very high roller coaster.
your eyes felt increasingly heavy, you allowed them to slip shut, head falling to the table with a not so gentle thud.
"y/n?" someone shook you, "y/n wake up!" it was wooyoung.
"shit, is she okay? should we call an ambulance?" jongho said, reaching for his phone.
"is she breathing? has anyone checked?" seonghwa gently lifted your shoulders and sat you upright, relieved to see the rise and fall of your chest. "we should call a taxi and get her home."
"are you crazy? she's unconscious, she won't be able to get up the stairs to her apartment! what if the driver is dodgy? she's already had to deal with shitty men while working night shift, imagine if something happened while she's drunk!" yeosang blurted out. the boys were shocked over his sudden concern for you. yeosang had never once shown any interest or care for you in the presence of them.
"well, what should we do then?" mingi asked, worriedly running a hand through his hair.
"i'll take her, you've all been drinking." yeosang concluded. "she'll be fine, don't worry. enjoy the rest of your night, okay? i've dealt with woo passing out before remember?"
"that's true." san said, throwing a light hearted glare in wooyoung's direction, who showed a rather sheepish expression.
the boys went back to their drinks, taking it a little slower now and yeosang carried you to his car. it wasn't easy, but he managed to sit you upright in the back seat of his car with his rear view mirror aimed directly at you so he could make sure you were okay.
he was able to lift you up the stairs and get your house key from the pocket of your jacket, which would've looked questionable to anyone else, but he had the best intentions. he sat you down in a dining chair, watching as your head lolled forward and your body slumped. he quickly filled a glass of water and came back to you.
"y/n." he whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." he said again, louder this time.
the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but you weren't waking up and that was becoming concerning. he shook your shoulder, as gently as he possible could in a moment like this, and to his relief, your eyes hesitantly opened.
your head felt like a bowling ball and you groaned quietly. "yeosang?"
"here." he said holding the cup to your lips, allowing you to take a small sip.
"how did we get here?" you mumbled, head rolling to the side.
he caught your head and carefully pushed you back upright, "i drove you, this is your apartment."
"oh." you said, eyes drooping shut again. "oh." you repeated.
"y/n, i really need you to stay awake right now." he said, bringing the cup to your mouth again. "lets talk."
"we never talk!" you exclaimed. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had!"
"i know." he said, pulling up a chair to sit directly in front of you. yeosang felt that slight tug at his heart again tonight, the way you sounded so excited just to talk with him.
"no, no, no." you whined, "this is so bad!"
"what is it?"
you pouted before nervously biting your lip, "i'm really sorry."
"for what?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.
"for ruining your night and making you stay here with me! now you just have another reason to hate me." you sighed, letting your head fall into your hands.
"i could never hate you." he said, voice barely above a whisper.
but you had fallen back asleep, so yeosang sat you upright once more and monitored you closely all night. with every minute that passed, he wished more and more that it was easier for him to show his emotions, to you especially. he wondered if maybe he wasn't so closed off that things would be different between the two of you. but it was hard for him, to let people in, he was afraid. afraid of people judging the real him, afraid of what might happen if he lets himself become vulnerable, afraid of facing his feelings about you.
you awoke hours later with a raging headache and extreme nausea. you headed straight for the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, feeling the sickest you'd ever felt. yeosang waited patiently outside the bathroom door with a glass of water and painkillers.
when you came out, he held his hand out, "take this."
you looked down at his hand and then up at him, slightly confused, "what are you doing here?"
"you passed out last night, and i drove you home because everyone else had been drinking." he said, passing the glass of water.
"oh my god." you ran a hand through your hair, "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to be any trouble! you must of been here all night, i promise it won't happen again, that was so stupid of me—"
"it's fine, don't worry about it." he said, shrugging, "i'll get going now, but make sure you take it easy and drink enough water." his eyes carefully scanned your body one last time, making sure you were really okay. he headed for the door and you followed.
"i'm really sorry." you frowned, feeling as though no amount of apologies would make it up to him.
he let out a slight chuckle, "it's okay, seriously y/n." he said before leaving. you heard the all too familiar jingle of his keys as the door closed behind him.
he'd stayed with you all night, eyes watching over you closely. ready at your side whenever you stirred in your sleep. he'd been there in the morning prepared with water and painkillers. this was never how it was, usually this was your job, taking care of the boys. it was your way of showing you cared, helping out wherever possible.
this wasn't like yeosang. at all.
————————
as soon as yeosang got home he was greeted by a very concerned san and wooyoung.
"is she okay?"
"are you tired?"
"did she wake up?"
he was bombarded by questions.
"she's okay, she fell asleep after a while and i made her take some painkillers when she woke up." yeosang said, collapsing onto the couch.
"so you really don't hate her then." wooyoung thought aloud.
"he can't, he spent the whole night looking after her!" san said, hitting wooyoung like it was obvious.
"owww," wooyoung rubbed his arm, "even she thinks you don't like her!"
"i know, she said last night. but she probably won't remember saying that." yeosang said, feeling increasingly drowsy from his lack of sleep.
"maybe you guys should like, talk things out?" san suggested, taking a seat next to him.
"maybe." yeosang said, drifting off into sleep.
you had spent the day curled up in bed, wondering how you could make it up to yeosang, and there was nothing more you wanted than to get to know him better, but what would he want? you called up san on that thought.
"hey sannie," you said, "i need your help, actually, is woo there as well?"
"oh my god she's alive!" you heard wooyoung call from beside san.
"what do you need help with?" san asked.
you paused a moment, "is yeosang there?"
"well yes, but he's asleep."
you groaned, "i feel so bad that he stayed up all night looking after me. i really wanna make it up to him but i don't know how. plus, it's not like he's that fond of me. maybe i should just thank him by staying out of his space."
"i don't think he'd like that." wooyoung interjected. "i still think he just needs time before opening up to you."
"i think its just me." you sighed, worriedly chewing on your bottom lip.
"hey! don't be like that! there's no reason to not like you." san scolded you for down talking yourself as he always does.
"agreed." wooyoung said, chiming in.
"i'm sure i'll work something out. thanks guys! enjoy the rest of your day!" you said.
"good luck!"
"bye y/n!"
————————
you had been staring at your phone for at least an hour, typing and retyping the message to yeosang. wooyoung gave you his number so that you could contact him when you'd finally worked out how to make it up to him. in the end, you decided that you would let him decide.
you drew in a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pressed send.
you: hey yeosang, i still feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you !!
yeosang: did wooyoung give you my number? T~T
you: yes he did.. i hope thats okay !
yeosang: of course yeosang: how about you make it up to me over a cup of coffee? >.<
you: that sounds great !! you: when are you free ?
yeosang: does tomorrow morning work for you ? i can pick you up ^_^
you: of course ! i'll see you tomorrow :)
yeosang sat in his room, facepalming. why was it so easy to be more open over text?
you on the other hand, felt your heart swell in a bizarre way. maybe it was the way you hadn't expected him to use such cute little emoticons. maybe it was the way that you'd be able to have a full conversation with him. whatever it was, excitement had taken over you.
————————
a knock pounded at your door and you rushed to open it.
"ready to go?" he asked, leaning against the door frame coolly.
"yes, lets go!" you said, sounding a little too excited.
the two of you made your way down the stairs and into yeosang's car. you found yourself smiling as you looked out the window.
your excitement hadn't gone unnoticed, "you seem awfully excited."
"i really wanted to make it up to you," you beamed. "it must've been boring to watch over me all night."
"i didn't mind so much." he said, shrugging.
you frowned, "you shouldn't of done it."
"and leave you passed out in the club?" he quirked an eyebrow up at you.
"well..."
"exactly." he said, parking the car outside a small cafe nearby his apartment. "come on, lets go inside."
you followed him in and took a seat across from him at a table close to the window. you both ordered coffees and resumed conversation.
"so, where were we?" you smiled, taking a sip of coffee.
"talking about how you wanted me to leave you passed out in the club." he said. you were almost convinced you saw a teasing smile pulling at his lips.
"right. i'm so sorry about that."
this time he actually chuckled, and you were taken aback. it was like the wall yeosang had surrounding himself was crumbling before your eyes.
"you need to apologise less." he laughed, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth for a sip. "half of the time we talk its just you saying sorry to me."
"i'm so—"
"hey!" the two of you broke into laughter.
his laugh was loud but warm and you couldn't help but notice the way his nose scrunched up cutely, the way his eyes looked full of stars and the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes after, revealing his beautiful birthmark. from that point on, you wanted to be the one to make him laugh every day.
he felt that familiar tug at his heart, the one he'd been feeling every moment he spent alone with you. the one he felt when he first met you. the one he couldn't make any sense of. it was as though his heart was a violin and you were the one playing it. (which would explain the tugging feeling.) but you were playing the sweetest song and he never wanted it to end.
the two of you laughed the morning away, gradually making up for what you'd missed over two years in a matter of two hours.
you'd discovered that even after getting him to open up more, he wasn't one for words. you found yourself talking his ear off while he listened intently, occasionally sharing his opinions and stories. in all his honesty, he didn't mind listening to you talk. he could've sat there all day, drinking countless cups of coffee, watching the way you bit your bottom lip whenever you paused to think or the way your eyes filled with sparkles when you talked about something that made you happy.
you insisted on paying for the infinite cups of coffee, as it was your way of making it up to him. he reluctantly agreed, but promised that he would pay if there ever was a next time, which he secretly hoped there would be. he'd finally had the chance to let his walls down. (it was actually more like you'd climbed the walls and torn them down with your bare hands.) but he was thankful for it.
he drove you back to your apartment, even after you persisted on walking home, seeing as it wasn't that far. he refused, insisting that he drive you. he even followed you up the stairs to the door of your apartment.
you turned around to face him, "you know, you're not so bad when you actually wanna talk to me."
"you know, you're not so bad when you're not drunk." he countered, his lips breaking into a playful grin.
you glared jokingly, "hey! don't make me apologise again."
"okay, okay. i won't." he said, raising his hands in defence.
you smiled, resting against the door, "alright, well, i've really enjoyed hanging out with you today. maybe we should catch up more often."
"maybe we should." he said, bearing a coy smile, "bye, y/n. i'll see you around."
————————
it was only about a week later he showed up at your work, at the end of your shift. you were pleasantly surprised to see him, and at first thought he was just someone coming to book a room.
"hello, are you looking for a r— yeosang?"
"when do you get off work?" he asked, glancing over to the clock.
"five minutes."
"i'll be waiting in the car, okay?" he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door.
on his way out, you saw as he ran into your boss, the two of them beginning conversation.
"it's good to see you've made those security changes." yeosang said as he nodded, extending his arm for a friendly handshake. "i'm very thankful."
your boss shook his hand, "and i'm thankful that you suggested them."
just over five minutes later you got into the passenger seat of yeosang's car.
"it was you who told my boss about the safety problems." you said, in near disbelief.
"hello, to you too." he joked sarcastically. "well, i would hate to think that the situation could happen again, so i just suggested some possible improvements. thats all." he shrugged like it was nothing.
"suddenly, i feel the need to make it up to you again." you smiled shyly.
"you can do that by accompanying me to the skate park." he said, motioning to his skateboard on the back seat.
"ah, so thats why you came."
"well yeah, i wanted to bring you to the skate park."
your heart swelled once again, feeling joyed that he wanted to share one of his favourite places with you. (despite him never telling you directly, you knew he loved the skate park as he spent majority of his high school time there when he wasn't studying.)
when you arrived, the sun was beginning to slip behind the horizon, causing the sky to glow a rosy pink. there were still a few kids, probably high schoolers, hanging around the park. you took a seat at a bench and waited for yeosang to come over, who was getting his skateboard out the car. you felt oddly out of place since you were still in your neat work uniform and didn't know the first thing about skateboarding.
yeosang rolled over with a grin plastered onto his face, you'd never seen him so happy, and it made you happy to see him this way. it was strange how all it took was a few cups of coffee for him to become a completely different person around you.
he didn't need to ask you to watch as your eyes were already glued to him as he dropped into the bowl, showing countless tricks and flips.
the truth was in fact that yeosang was grateful for you 'making it up to him'. he'd never been able to comprehend his feelings for you, if they were even feelings at all. he hated the confusion and decided it was easier to ignore it, and to an extent, ignore you, to make it go away. it had been working for the most part, until every time the two of you were alone together, he couldn't ignore the slight tug at his heart, that was becoming more of a pull over the last few weeks.
"you're amazing!" you cheered as he sat down next to you, out of breath.
"thanks." he smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair and out of his face. he leaned back, looking up at the sky. "do you sometimes wish you could see the stars from within the city? hongjoong and seonghwa are so lucky they can see them from their house."
you pondered a moment, thinking about the last time you actually saw stars in the sky. "i see stars in your eyes sometimes." you said, absent minded.
he felt warmth burning in his cheeks, "you do?"
"do what?" you turned to him, "did i say that out loud?" you gasped, covering your face in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that it was just a thought and—"
"what did i say about apologising?" he laughed. "it's getting cold, right? you ready to head home?" he asked.
you smiled, "if you are."
he drove you home and said goodbye, feeling happy about spending time alone with you once again. he couldn't stop thinking about what you said and you couldn't stop feeling like a fool for saying it.
————————
the weather got colder and colder and soon it began to snow as the days of december passed. you had spent the day helping jongho move some new furniture into his apartment. it was a difficult job, but easier with the two of you, even san and wooyoung came to help. you couldn't resist wondering where yeosang was and why he didn't come, seeing as they lived in the same building. maybe he was busy, you thought.
"hey, where's yeosang?" you asked, lifting a box and placing it on the kitchen counter.
"at home, i think he's been feeling sick or something, he hardly comes out of his room lately." wooyoung shrugged, assuming it was all good.
"if he's sick i'll bring him over some food and painkillers, maybe keep him some company." you explained, not wanting yeosang to be unwell.
"i think he'd rather be left alone, to be honest." san said, giving wooyoung a side glance that you couldn't miss.
you pulled out your phone and sent yeosang a quick message.
you: are you feeling okay? san and woo said you were sick :((
he didn't respond right away and you just figured he was asleep. but as you finished helping out at jongho's house a few hours later, he still hadn't responded. when you were sitting down to eat dinner at home, he still hadn't respond. just before you were going to turn the lights out and go to bed, he still hadn't responded.
something was up. this wasn't like yeosang, not anymore. not since the two of you had been spending so much time together. maybe it was like the boys said, and he was truly very sick, but in that case, why wouldn't they let you help?
————————
days passed and you went to work as usual, repeating the same few lines, asking people if they want a room, asking them to fill in a form, then directing them to the right room. days passed and you still hadn't heard back from yeosang, you wondered if he was still sick. days passed and you began to think maybe you should go over there to see if he's okay.
but if there was one thing you'd learnt about yeosang recently, it was that he was the quieter type, and probably wouldn't appreciate you going over there to keep him company and would rather be alone. so that evening when you got off work, you didn't go visit him like you so desperately wanted to, instead, you went straight home.
you cooked and ate dinner for yourself, before picking up your phone, only to see still no messages from yeosang.
you: hey woo you: is yeosang feeling better ?
wooyoung: yeah he is
you: well then can i come visit tomorrow ?
wooyoung: i think he's busy wooyoung: sorry
you: its okay woo you: its not your fault !!
you switched your phone off and headed for the shower, trying to wash away the stress and worry for yeosang that had built up over the last few weeks. you had really grown to like him and there was still so much about him you wanted to learn, like when he learned to skateboard or how he got the small scar on the back of his hand, that you'd noticed when ever he brushes his hair out of his eyes.
two years he'd spent, not interested in holding conversation with you and two years you'd spent, wondering what you'd did so wrong. but lately, you felt like you were doing something right around him, getting him to smile and laugh, share his own stories.
you couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he still didn't like you, and had just been trying for wooyoung's sake.
or maybe he was genuinely starting to like you, but you went and fucked it up by weirding him out and telling him about his starry eyes.
or maybe he'd just had enough of you already. decided that a few weeks was enough time spent trying to change things between the two of you.
as you finished showering and changed into comfortable clothes, you glanced at the clock which read 10:56pm. you switched on the television to watch some youtube before going to bed. as you felt yourself dozing off, a faint knock sounded at your door, so quiet you almost missed it.
when you opened the door, you were shocked to see yeosang standing there, leaning against the door frame for support. he looked up at you, his normally starry eyes were dulled with tears.
you rushed forward to him, smelling the alcohol as you got closer, "yeosang are you okay? what are you doing here? i thought you were sick. are you drunk? you never drink, come inside." you gently pulled him inside, closing the door behind you. when you turned to face him, he was staring at you, tears about to spill over the brim of his eyes.
"i hate you." he breathed out, voice barely louder than a whisper. he didn't seem angry though, he looked fragile, like a glass vase balancing on the edge of a table.
you felt the urge to cry, finally hearing those three words that confirmed your biggest concern, yeosang disliking you. "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i never meant to—"
"i hate you." he said, louder this time before running a hand through his hair hastily. he let out a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate the tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're alone. i hate the way you put yourself before others. i hate the way you ramble on when you're nervous. i hate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. i hate the way i don't drink around you because i feel the need to protect you and make sure you're safe. i hate the way i tried to ignore you for two years because i was scared and confused about my own feelings. i hate how it only took one cup of coffee with you for my walls to come crashing down!" he paced from side to side, waving his hands around crazily.
yeosang looked scared and lost, like he'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that was the truth. he didn't know how to comprehend these feelings and it terrified him.
you watched as he spiralled, seeming as though it would never stop. you weren't sure what to do, so you just listened to that swelling feeling in your heart once again, the one that had led you to develop feelings for yeosang, and you pulled him close into your arms. he clung onto you tightly, scared to let go, like if he did then he'd lose you forever. you ran your fingers through his hair briefly, trying your best to comfort him.
"i'm sorry." you repeatedly whispered to him. you'd never meant to upset him or confuse him.
yeosang let out a quiet sob into your chest, "i hate the way i've fallen in love with you." he croaked out.
he didn't hate you. never did. never will. your heart swelled completely in your chest, feeling as though it would burst through. but it couldn't be true. he's totally drunk out of his mind.
"you're not in your right mind, yeosang, you need to get home. you're drunk and talking nonsense." you embraced him tightly one more time, and you could've sworn you felt the beat of his heart through the hug. "come on," you urged, steering him towards the door, "wooyoung and san are probably worried and waiting up for you."
with much effort, you led him down the stairs of your apartment block and walked him home. the street lamps led you in the freezing city night air. you held his wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs to his own apartment. he didn't speak a single word the whole time, instead, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. it hurt you so much to see him this broken, but you knew he wasn't saying the truth under control of the alcohol in his veins.
you knocked at his apartment door, hoping that one of the boys were still awake. luckily, they both were and quickly they flung the door open.
"y/n? yeosang?" san questioned, his eyes wide open with disbelief.
"we've been so worried about you!" wooyoung said, pulling yeosang away from you. "hang on, are you drunk?"
san had noticed his tired, tear stained eyes, "you look like you've been crying! are you okay?"
you let out a quiet sigh, knowing you didn't need to be here anymore. you gave a small wave goodbye and headed home, utterly exhausted.
and though you were so drained, you couldn't seem to fall asleep. those words yeosang said to you kept running through your mind busily.
did he mean any of it?
————————
yeosang felt bad. he felt terrible. like he wanted to vanish into thin air and float away with the breeze. though he couldn't, no, he desperately wanted to apologise to you. but he didn't know how, he wasn't good with words or expressing his feelings, and you wished he knew that was something you loved about him.
wooyoung and san tried to ask him what happened the night he drunkenly confessed to you, but he couldn't have them know that he'd been harbouring feelings for you for all this time, they'd never let him live it down. he could imagine the continuous teasing they'd give him, nudging him whenever you were together or giving him side glances after talking to you.
yeosang gave it lots of thought. he mulled it over in his head repeatedly. it was only after hours spent hidden away in his room that he decided to go back to where it all started, a text. a text that said how much he wanted to make it up to you for having to deal with him drunk, just like the one you'd sent initially.
yeosang: hey y/n, i feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you! T^T
your heart leapt a mile seeing his name appear on your phone. you grinned upon reading his message, realising it was scarily similar to the message you had first sent him.
you: hmmm you: that sounds familiar
yeosang: >.< yeosang: seriously though, how does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound? i'll cook
you: you can cook?
yeosang: there's a lot you don't know about me x_x
you: okay, i'll be there !!
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yeosang wasn't lying when he said he can cook. as you traipsed up the stairs of his apartment block you could smell something delicious laced in the air.
the usual swelling in your heart had instead fell to the pit of your stomach, you were feeling slightly nervous as to what would happen when you entered yeosang's apartment. you inhaled deeply before knocking at the door of his apartment.
"hey y/n, come in." yeosang greeted, holding an arm out, signalling for you to come inside.
"you must've been working hard cooking! it smells delicious." you said, feeling a sense of comfort just from the smell of food.
"yeah, lucky i sent wooyoung and san over to jongho's place, otherwise i doubt there would be any pasta to serve." he joked. "you can take a seat, i've just gotta serve up."
you sat down in front of a neatly laid table, it had somewhat surprised you how much effort yeosang had put into this dinner tonight. he placed a steamy hot plate of pasta in front of you and one where he would sit.
"so." he began.
"so." you copied, teasingly.
"i guess, i really just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i behaved the other night when i was drunk. you shouldn't of had to deal with that." he frowned, poking at his dinner.
you furrowed your brows, "it's seriously fine yeosang." you took a bite of pasta, "i was just surprised to see you drunk, since you never drink."
he chuckled, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, "actually, i do. i just never drink when you're there."
"really? why?" you questioned, eating another mouthful of pasta.
"because..." he paused. "no, it sounds dumb out loud."
"it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself." you smiled warmly, "but that does remind me to ask... do you remember anything you said to me while you were drunk?" you leant forward, genuinely curious.
he sighed, "i remember.. enough."
"you don't really hate me, right?" you asked, playing with the food on your plate.
"of course not! that's why i invited you here tonight. to show you that i don't, and to make it up to you." he had to refrain from reaching across to hold your hand, just to show how much he cared that little bit more.
you nodded, "well, thats good. i was kinda worried that we'd gone back to square one."
comfort settled within you. it was relieving to know you weren't hated by the one person whose love you wanted most. a tiny thought crept into your mind, maybe, just maybe, now would be the right time to tell him about your blossoming feelings for him. or would that confuse him more? now you were the one feeling conflicted.
"are you finished eating?" he asked, reaching for your empty plate.
"yes, thank you! it was delicious. you're a good cook, y'know."
"ah, thanks y/n." he turned away to hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.
"would you like me to do the dishes? since you cooked." you offered, standing up. but he quickly opposed.
"don't be ridiculous." he shooed you back to your seat. "can i get you a coffee? water? wine?"
"a coffee sounds good, i think you and i have had too many drunken situations lately." you laughed.
yeosang pulled out two mugs and put the kettle on. he felt your eyes carefully watching him. once again, he hated the feeling that was pulling at his heart. the way you could say nothing, yet he felt everything.
"can i tell you something?" you asked, voice now quieter and more hesitant.
"sure, what is it?" he said, placing a warm cup of coffee in front of you.
you took a sip, humming in delight. it was exactly the way you liked it. when the two of you went out for coffee, he had unintentionally remembered just the way you like it.
"well," you began cautiously, in case you brought this situation into flames again. "i just... i always wondered why you didn't like me. if i was doing something wrong, if i said something once that really upset you. and then after we started spending time together, i finally felt like i was doing the right thing." you groaned, frustrated with yourself for not getting to the point quicker. "what i'm trying to say is that i have feelings for you. it's okay if you don't feel the same way. i wouldn't expect you to, i just thought you should know—"
yeosang basically choked on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. "it's okay, y/n! in case you hadn't noticed, i'm crazy about you."
you had continued to ramble nervously before hearing what he said.
"wait. you are?"
"basically ever since you said that thing about stars in my eyes, yes."
you cringed, remembering how you had said that so absent minded. "yeah, sorry about that."
"it's okay, it was cute. and what did i say about apologising?"
you shook your head and smiled, "i know."
————————
ever since the two of you confessed to each other, you had been almost inseparable, except of course when you had work. but he dropped you home most nights, even though you insisted it was okay and that you could walk. he came over every weekend just to spend time with you, even if the two of you just sat and talked, enjoying each other's company. you'd been dating for a few weeks now, but kept it undercover, not wanting to suffer the incessant questioning that would come if you told your friends.
it didn't go unnoticed either, wooyoung and san were constantly nagging yeosang about why the two of you spent so much time together, and each time he just shrugged it off.
christmas was just around the corner, so you were spending the evening at seonghwa's and hongjoong's house, who of course, were throwing an unnecessarily large house party to celebrate.
you were sat between a very drunk yunho and mingi, who were trying to talk to an also very drunk jongho. you eyed your boyfriend from across the room, as if asking for a way out and he just laughed at the situation you were stuck in.
after at least ten minutes more of having your ear talked off, yeosang came to pull you away to the dance floor.
"care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand to you.
you immediately jumped up, latching onto his hand, "i would love to!"
he chuckled, pulling you close to his side and leading you to the makeshift dance floor that seonghwa and hongjoong created.
the two of you laughed at the boys' reaction. they were completely shocked to see the two of you so close together and yeosang being friendly.
he twirled you around a few times with the music, before settling his arms around your waist. he brought you near to him as you placed your arms behind his neck. you swayed back and forth, engulfed in your own little bubble of comfort in each other's arms, completely out of time with the loud thumping music that blared around you.
you felt content, and yeosang no longer felt confused. he found his home in your arms and his happiness.
you reached up to place your lips on his, capturing the moment surrounding you. yeosang melted into the kiss, discovering that your lips were soft and sweet against his, just as he had imagined, which caused his knees to feel weak and his heart to skip more than just one beat. he never wanted to let you go, he wanted to compensate for every second that he didn't spend with you since the two of you met.
he leaned forward and whispered softly, just so you could hear above all the music and singing, "lets stay like this forever."
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mageofseven · 4 years ago
Note
Back again with the request of the brothers and undateables reaction to MC drunk texting them that they love, Love them ❤️
Oh thank you so much for resending this! I'm sorry about the mishap before. I hope you'll enjoy these~ Since you didn't specify, these are written from the perspective that MC and the boys are in a relationship when they text the boys.
Also, I decided to split these up into two posts so this one will only have the Brothers in it, but I will put up a post for the Undateables real soon!
~
Lucifer:
The man sighed at his desk, signing what felt like the thousandth paper that night. It was only 1am so the night was still young; he knew he'd be at this till morning only to have to go through his duties tomorrow without rest. It was not unusual for him, but the oldest brother was still feeling a bit burnt out.
Ding.
He paused for a moment before setting his pen down and picking up his phone from the corner of the desk.
'Daaaddy. Mammnk dispered'
Ignoring the name they gave him, the man just stared down at the text. He gave another big sigh.
'MC, where are you?'
'I djnno. I went tk a party with Mammm and Asmo and thyy jsyt went poooff.'
God, his brothers were idiots. What if something happens to MC while they're off doing whatever?
'I'll track your phone then. I'll be there soon'
'Nuuu. I jsut wanna get my phone bacc from Mamsmm'
Oh dear Diavolo...
'Love, you're texting me off your phone.'
'Ooo. Yur rite!'
'I am coming to get you now.'
'Okaaaa bye Daddynm. Love yuo.'
The man rolled his eyes, but smile slightly down at the screen. What was he going to with his Love?
Mammon:
Shit! Where'd they go?! He took MC with him to the casino to help distract the other gamblers as he played cards-- hey don't judge!! He promised to buy them a few drinks afterwards. So there they were, sittin' and drink together when this guy he owes money to starts running up and yelling at him! Of course Mammon had to bail! He told MC to run with him but at one point he turned around and the human wasn't there! He's been rushing around and searching for them for the last twenty minutes. Where did they go??
Bing. His phone went off. The moron facepalmed. He has his phone! He should have been calling them or something.
'Baaaabbby. Im loneyl.'
'Oi! Where'd you go? I told you to follow me!'
'But I waz tlkin to thhe fnny man! He evn boght more deinks.'
Shit. They're still back at the bar. But with him of all people??
'Babe, why ya drinking with that jerk??'
'Im not. Hss wife cam e adn got him.'
Wife? Oh thank Diavolo, Belinda came through for him!
'Stay put, got that? I'm heading back now.'
'Kk I love yuo babbny 😘'
Mammon blushed as he read that last message.
'Ya, ya, just stay put, human.'
Leviathan:
Okay so Levi himself is not really a drinker in most circumstances. He pretty much sees it as another thing normies do and use as an excuse to spend time with other normies. Like, why would he care about something so stupid anyway?
Still, that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions to that kind of thing. Like the new bottle he won from a contest run by the creators of the anime I Partied So Hard That I Ripped Opened The Frabric of Reality And Was Met By My Future Wife Who Is Secretly A Cat Girl From Venus! I mean, it's seriously cool! It's the same brand of Venustian wine that Nyanitia loves in the anime!
Levi was so excited when it arrived that he practically begged MC to come to his room to drink it with him as he played his new video game from Akuzon. Honestly it didn't end up like he thought it would though. The wine barely did anything to him at all. I mean, yeah, the third brother didn't have a lot of experience with alcohol but he thought he would at least feel a little different than normal. Eh, whatever. The effect is kinda lame but it's still from the anime! If it's good enough for Nyanitia then it's good enough for him.
The demon shrugged it off and got absorbed in his video game to the point where he even stopped talking to MC, which wasn't unusual. After dying a couple times, he threw his controller down.
"Uggghh, can you believe that MC--"
The boy just noticed that he was alone. Oh... was he really that boring to hangout with? The Avatar of Envy started mumbling a lot of insults to himself as he picked up the bottle.
"Was my gaming that bad? Or was it the wine?" He mused sadly. "No, I bet it was the wine. It barely did anything to me so I doubt it effected them either...."
He starts reading the label on the back, skimming till he reads a section on alcohol level. Level for demons: mild.
"That explains it..." He grumbled, continuing to read in his head.
Level for Angels: low medium. Level for Humans: HIGH. WARNING. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF HUMANS.
Oh...oh no. What's gonna happen to his Henry?? Are they gonna die?? Is Lucifer gonna kill him??? GAH! Where did they go--
Beep. His phone!
'Leeevvvvvi. I fels wooozy.'
Panicking, the boy typed back.
'Where are you??? Are you dying???'
'Nuuuu. I'm jsyt wwwoooosh.'
Gah! What does that even mean?? Before the demon could respond, he got another message.
'Leeeevvvvi chan I lvoe you~.'
The boy's face and ears blazed red. I mean, yeah, it's not the first time he's heard/read them say that but still! Now isn't the time for this!
Another message.
'Sweeeeetue. Coem love me 😢'
The demon let out a panicked yell and charged out his door. His foot collided with something and he heard a whine.
"Sweeeeetie why?" MC laid on the floor of the hallway, pouting and looking more hurt emotionally than physically.
Still panicking, Levi picked up the human and brought them back into his room. He laid them in his bathtub and start researching the affects of Venustian wine on humans.
Boy nearly collapsed from relief and exhaustion when he found out they only had a sip and shouldn't have any health issues from it.
Ends up apologizing a million times over and becomes extra protective of them for the next couple weeks and is paranoid about every food and drink placed in front of them.
Satan:
It was an average evening for him. He was in his room, reading in bed as he waited for MC to come home. Asmo managed to convince them to go to a party with him. Satan didn't really want them to go tonight, but he saw their eyes light up with just the idea of it and the blonde couldn't bring himself to say a thing. Like him, MC didn't really have any experience with parties prior to this, but unlike him, they had a great interest in them. How could he ask them not to go if this was an experience they had wanted for a long time?
Ding.
The man laid his book down next to him and reached for his phone that he laid on the closest stack of books.
'Satn, peple are sk mean 😥'
The demon launched into a sitting position.
'Who needs to die?' He texted back, protective instincts springing up inside himself for them.
'Nno. Teh people here just amke me feel so lft out.'
He sighed. MC was too sensitive for that kind of environment.
'Kitten, tell Asmo to take you home now.' Satan texted before adding 'Tell him I said so.'
'Btu hes tlkin to a succubus'
'I don't care. Tell him what I said.'
'Okaa 😔'
The demon waited a few minutes, but didn't get a new message.
'Kitten?' He texted them.
Minutes when by. Nothing. The blonde got out of bed and started pacing. When that didn't help, he started to transform from the anger at his brother. He decided to text Asmo.
'Bring them home now or so help me, you will face a different type of hell when you get back.'
No reply from his brother either. The Avatar of Wrath was ready to start breaking shit.
Ding. He quickly checked his phone. It was MC.
'Bb I love you.'
The blonde stopped in his tracks. Why--after over 20 minutes of waiting-- was that their only response?
The demon reached out for his door knob, ready to go out and hunt for them, when his door swung open, revealing his brother, who was holding up an intoxicated MC.
"Ugh, you ruined my night!" The fifth brother complained.
Satan, still in his demon form, was ready to deck the other man at best and at worst, who knows. He didn't get the chance to find out because instead, MC tumbled forward and into his arms.
"Satan," They whined. "I wanna.... I wanna lay down."
The blonde took a deep breath before looking to his brother.
"Just leave. Now." He slammed the door closed on the other demon before laying MC down in bed and joining them. He pulled the blanket over them both and held his Kitten close to his chest.
"I should have...stayed home." They mumbled.
He kissed their forehead.
"It's fine. You're fine now, Kitten."
Asmodeus:
After a long, but fun night at The Fall, the Avatar of Lust had his fill was ready to get his beauty sleep. Sadly, he had lost track of his Doll. Oh dear, where could they be? Despite being so late, there were still plenty of people out and he was having trouble tracking them down.
Beep. The demon checked his phone.
'Azzy, I lvoe you🥰'
Asmo giggled, texting back.
'Aww! I love you too! Now where did you run off to? I miss my Dolly~.'
'By eth bahroons'
The man headed off that way and found MC on the floor in the hallway that led to the bathroom.
"Well, what are you doing down there?" He teased.
MC started giggling.
"I fell."
Seeing that they weren't hurt, the demon simply bent over and helped them up. The human instantly leaned against him and hugged him close.
"I love you, Azzy." They told him, closing their eyes as they enjoy the embrace and pressing their cheek against his.
Asmo let out a small laugh then pulled back just enough to kiss his Doll on their cheek.
"Oh you're just too adorable, you know that?" He told them before leading them to the front of the building. "Now let's go home, okay?"
Beelzebub:
Beel woke up for a midnight snack and headed to the kitchen. It was a quick in and out thing, not wanting to be caught by his brothers. He grabbed a whole cabinet full of snacks and carried them back to his room.
Ding. His phone went off and as he opened the door to his room.
The demon laid his snacks on his bed and got in before grabbing his phone off the nightstand.
'Beeesly, I love oyu~'
The redhead smiled happily. It was MC.
'I love you too. When are you coming home?'
No response. The demon simply opened up a bag of chips and started eating. It's fine; he can be patient.
Instead of getting a response however, he was greeted by his Muffin at door.
"I'm baaack~." The human giggled, stumbling just slightly as they walked up to the bed and flopped down before snuggling up to the big demon.
Beel kissed the top of their head, smiling at them.
"Did you have fun with Solomon, Muffin?"
"Mhmm." They said, closing their eyes and stretching out their legs, causing some of the snacks to fall to the floor. He didn't mind.
"That's good." He sat the chip bag on the stand so he could use both hands to hold them close.
The two of them laid there, cuddled up together. The big demon stroked their hair till they heard the human's breath slow and were asleep.
"G'night, Muffin." He whispered. "Dream sweetly."
Belphegor:
It was the middle of the night and Belphie was asleep. That might sound normal for the Avatar of Sloth to you, but in actuality, this was unusual for him. The sleepy boy slept so much during the day that he was usually awake starting from whenever he woke up from his after-dinner nap up until around 4 or 5 am.
Tonight, however, Belphie really wasn't feeling it. Ya know, the whole 'awake' thing. He didn't feel like being conscious. The same reason he didn't wanna be awake was the same reason why he wasn't sleeping very deeply either.; MC wasn't there with him.
That scum Mammon took them out somewhere and they didn't even tell him. He had to hear it from Beel. The 7th brother has been grumpy since then and didn't wanna do anything so he hid away in his attic and fell asleep.
Bing. Bing. Bing.
The demon let out a frustrated sigh. That was the 9th text he got in the last two minutes. He picked up his phone from the other side of the bed and begrudgingly read his messages.
'Belpphi'
'Beelphi
'Belphii'
'Babb'
'Babe'
'Babr'
'Beeelpie'
'Heeyy'
'Mr Moomooo man pay atttention ot me 😢'
"Mr. Moomoo man?" Belphie said out loud, scowling down at the screen. If he wasn't mad at MC, he would have cracked a smile.
'What's wrong with you?' He texted.
'Mammmn lfet me all alone 😔'
Belphie eyes went wide.
'What happened?'
'Mammo owes mnoey to this big Moloc guy and eh chased Maaamkn away.'
Ugh. Mammon's a dumbass.
'Where are you?'
'I dunno. He lefy me on a bench. Teh park?'
'The one by the school?'
'Mmaybe?'
The demon let out another big sigh.
'I'll be there soon. Don't move.'
'Okyy'
A couple seconds later, they sent another text.
'I love yuo, bb. Im srry 😔'
Belphie frowned. His anger at them was dissipating.
'Yeah, I love you too, butthead. Now stay there.'
~
Masterlist
475 notes · View notes
xz017 · 6 years ago
Text
.
oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???
got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker
the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.
her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like
basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that
girl be actin homeless---mood
so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like
‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’
n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao
‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’
i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao
anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!
cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke
i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that
but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 
um...no one
like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway
cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’
n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE
n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.
n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time
n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate
and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve
n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset
cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck
deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts
n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT
n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO
n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS
n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually
n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive
n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 
no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here
n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...
cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane
n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more
n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican
and she gave me a sideeye 
but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right
im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?
im scared.
like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race
n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen
like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?
my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school
n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh
im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist
i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 
like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 
wat is the truth rip
the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.
my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow
n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.
which is ye know good for her rip.
i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities
like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like
binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye
n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm
mine is for science n validity
hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...
bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip
but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?
im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???
prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???
what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.
i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.
that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.
n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip
i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man
meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip
god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly
# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me
now im sad
im dead.
omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’
DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 
like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love
the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love
the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness
but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh
bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 
meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...
i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do
but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 
bitter but like...humble
‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’
‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’
‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’
oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?
had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.
my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni
rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you
n she was like so no children then:(
n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro
but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?
anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...
sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji
rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh
At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that
then she was like ew nO
then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card
which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.
so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth
but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?
really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.
nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR
rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand
i miss the gays
i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well
add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand
n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--
n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’
n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’
n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip
Big sand honestly.
it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand
i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8
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