#it's 1am i'm going to say this shit...deal lol

[littlebugs]

Can I request for Kylo Ren in which the returns with him from a failed mission? She made a mistake and maybe Kylo made it clear to her that he was very upset about it during an argument afterwards. She tries to make up for it by doing a mission on her own, only on this one she gets badly hurt and is brought back by Hux after finding her severely wounded/injured. When Kylo learns of it, he flips out thinking she wasn’t going to make it alive, but in the end, she survives and makes a full recovery. Something short and sweet in the end between them as he takes care of her during the healing process. Thanks! ❤️

(I hope this is okay! If not, feel free to ignore it!)

i love you

warnings: injury, very angsty (fluff ending), fem presenting reader (she/her pronouns), mild language, written at 1am so not the best proofreading, toxic kylo in the beginning 😓 a/n: thanks so much for the request love! i got carried away writing this lol, sorry if its a lil long!

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

"Shit," you cursed as you sprawled over the couch in yours and Kylo's living room. You'd messed up today. It was tiny, minuscule, just a little mistake. You hoped it wouldn't matter to Kylo. But you knew better.

The large door, black, matching most of the Commander's gloomy interior, swung open. And slammed shut. You nearly fell off the couch, already exhausted from the days work. "Hey Ky..." you trailed off. He looked absolutely terrifying. Blood on the toes of his boots. Holes ripped through his outfit. But the worst of all, his face. He looked- angry. Disappointed. Annoyed. Maybe even..disgusted?

"Shut up," He threatened, walking up to you. His arms crossed, feet spread apart, you knew you were in for it. From your spot now on the floor, huddled in a ball, you felt defenseless. "You messed up today," he scolded. "This was a covert operation. We had one shot at this, and you blew it." His voice was a low, seething growl.

"I'm sorry I had a- momentary.. lapse in judgment?" You didn't know what to say. This wasn't supposed to be a big deal. It was a tiny mess up. You forgot to disable a single security camera. Just one. It wouldn't matter anyhow, as the saber marks lining the walls of the Rebel base being hijacked was a sign as to who the attacker was.

"Sorry isn't going to fix this. We're on the brink of a war, and this mission was crucial. The Supreme Leader trusted us, and now, because of your mistake, we might have just handed our enemies a victory," he nearly shouted.

Kylo's voice rose as he continued, but it was as if you were underwater, the sounds muffled and distorted. Your eyes filled with tears, blurring your vision. You couldn't let him see you like this. "I-I'm sorry," you mumbled, as you got up from the ground and staggered to the door.

You scarcely cried. There were many things the two of you never did, which maybe you should have done. It wasn't a conventional relationship. You'd only cried in front of him once, years ago. He had left you, crumpled on the floor, unable to deal with the sudden emotion. He never told you he loved you. Not even once. You shared a ship, meals, even a bed with him, and even in your most intimate moments, he just... didn't seem to feel anything. At least on the exterior. You hoped.

"Leave me." you stammered, nose already running. "Did you think I was going to follow you? Pathetic. Absolutely worthless. Do you think I even care-" He stopped, dead in his tracks, after catching sight of your face, glimmering in tears. "M'sorry" you mumbled, and quietly closed the door behind you.

Breathing in the cool air of The Supremacy, you quickly wiped your face before any troopers nearby could catch sight. Word traveled fast, and although it was a big ship, news could be spread in mere hours. You remembered the first time you had to deal with the gossip, it had been your first one night stand with Kylo, before any relationship. You left in the dead of night, but one lucky Stormtrooper caught you on the security camera. The next day, half the the Supremacy was staring you down, and the other half was triumphantly giving you high fives (Knights of Ren included.)

Life seemed...simpler. Now you were plastered on the wall to Kylo's rooms, breathing in slightly sterile air as you tried to get your wits about you. It being 11pm already, you decided to make way to your old room. Walking down the hallway, you encountered little confrontation. That was the good part of being in relation to Kylo. Then there was the name calling, the teasing the "Commanders whore" whispered behind your back. It all made you want to cry again, and you were grateful to near your room.

As you unlocked the door, your old life greeted you. There wasn't much left really, as you had inhabited Kylo's space for the past months. You had thought maybe...maybe he was changing- that he would one day tell you how he felt? Yeah right, you thought, as you walked in, flopped down on the bed, and stared at the ceiling. Looking around you, a chair sat to your left, with a window showing the view of a million stars outside. A bathroom and dresser to your right, emptied of all your items. Not that you had any in the first place, but Kylo had spoiled you as of recent.

You couldn't stop thinking about him. His face when he saw your tears. The way he had yelled at you nonstop. The fact that he didn't seems to care.

In the dimly lit room, shadows danced across the walls like haunting specters. Suddenly feeling cold, you huddled beneath the covers of your bed. The air was thick with silence, now broken only by the muffled sobs that racked your body. Your fingers clutched at the sheets, the fabric twisted and knotted in fists of despair. With each passing moment, the tears fall harder, faster, until you couldn't breath. You gasped, shuddered, and with a pounding headache, went to sleep, soiled clothes and all.

Unbeknownst to you, Kylo stood near your door, listening to your sobs feeling...terrible. He hated hearing you cry. It filled him with disgust not in you, but now in himself. For making you feel this way. And through the Force, he heard your thoughts, the desperate calls to be openly loved that Kylo had so valiantly ignored. He thought to wake you, but instead headed back to his quarters.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

The next morning, at 6 am sharp, you woke up with solid determination. You were going to show him you weren't pathetic, worthless...disgusting. You were always soft, especially in comparison to him, but you weren't pathetic. Or at least you hoped so.

As you headed to the mirror, you jumped at your reflection. That wouldn't do. You would also have to make it work with the meager amount of supplies at hand, but you could do it. After opting a shower to the refresher, so you could use scented soaps and lotions, you blow dried you hair, and styled it to the best of your ability. "Not too bad," You thought to yourself as you brushed on mascara and lip balm. "Nothing crazy" you told yourself, but betrayed your thoughts as you opted for a smaller sized uniform.

Exiting your room, you felt misery and despair inside of you, but at least you looked like you had it together. Making your way down to the control center of the Supremacy took quite a while, it being a literal Mega Class Dreadnought ship, but it gave you time to think. Think of what you were going to say to him. You could apologize. You could pretend nothing happened. You could act all mushy and touchy. Or just ignore him completely.

You decided to just fuck it and ball. Walking into the room, the control center hummed with the usual tension that permeated the First Order's headquarters. The air was thick with the weight of strategic discussions and the ever-present rivalry among its officers.

Then you saw him. The air seemed to crackle with electricity as he moved, his presence commanding attention. You had always been drawn to the enigmatic power he exuded, and despite the fight, that magnetic pull remained intact. You were immediately waved over by General Hux, and as you walked over to a control table in the very front of the room, getting closer, you regretted your decision. The mask, the robes...everything about him was just huge. Intimidating. Compared to your scantily dressed body, he looked like he could envelope you whole. Maybe you wanted him to.

Deciding to play with him a little, you boldly stood next to Hux, leaning over to look at the schematics on the table so Kylo had direct view of you. Though the mask concealed his emotions, you could sense the internal turmoil beneath it. He was distracted, and you knew why.

Hux sighed and rolled his eyes, in classic fashion. He was never one for your machinations, but continued explaining the mission at hand, obviously annoyed. You didn't bother listen, opting to shift around in a way that made Kylo's fists clench.

At what seemed like the end of the brief, Hux tiredly asked "So we'll need an Admiral or Commander to volunteer for this mission. As I know both of you do not care in the least so I will just-" You cut him off. "I'll do it." Both Kylo and Hux turned towards you, silent. "But you never do anything-" The General retorted. You roll your eyes. "Shut up Hux. I'm going." The redhead sputtered. "But-you... -You don't even care! Ever!" "Ok well, I'm a Commander, and I'm going," You spat, not bothering to glance at Kylo, who hadn't moved an inch in the last minute. You stormed away, but not before hearing Hux call "Don't screw this up Commander," and scoffing.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It wasn't going well. You had overpowered the Rebel base, which was somewhat pitiful, but managed to get a blaster wound to the side which was currently steaming in a way that did not look safe. Most of your troops had made it through, save the couple of troopers who'd been shot here and there. The masks made it harder to remember they were human, people on the inside. Limping back to your ship, you woozily asked Hux to make someone check the surrounding areas for stragglers as you slumped into the seat, adrenaline still preventing you from feeling the full pain of your wound.

Setting the TIE on autopilot, slowly coming back to reality, you looked down to the left of your torso. You had almost dodged the blast, the wound cauterized by the superheated plasma, leaving a sizzling, blackened mark on your flesh. Smoke rose from the wound, carrying with it the acrid scent of burnt fabric and singed skin. The pain intensified with each passing second, as if a red-hot poker has been driven into your side.

You clenched your teeth, trying to stifle a scream, as you grasped at the wound. Your fingers came away slick with your own blood, which oozed from the wound and trickled down your side. The ride was short. Only 30 minutes at full speed. You could probably..maybe hold on. You busied yourself coating the wound with Bacta spray, which took most the time, considering the fact that every movement made your side burn and sting like never before.

After successfully applying the antiseptic, you started to see the giant that was the Supremacy. It slowly appeared as a behemoth of steel and darkness, adorned with the stark, angular design characteristic of First Order aesthetics you had come to be so familiar with. You were on course, but you'd have to manually land the plane. "Oh for Kriffs sake" you muttered to yourself, trying to figure out how you were even alive.

You painstakingly moved your right arm to the control panel, and started the descent, aiming for one of the many hangars. It seemed to take forever, but with a final, skillful maneuver, you brought the ship to a shaky landing on the hangar deck. The ship's landing struts had absorbed the impact, but the screech of metal against metal reverberated through the hangar.

You all but fell out of the fighter, letting out a strained "I'm aight-" before collapsing into the arms of medical personnel, whom immediately transported you to the medical wing.

Not known to you, the second of your arrival, Kylo was storming down the hall, looking menacing as ever. Although he looked same as ever, on the inside, his emotions swirled inside of him. He was freaking out. He powered through the med bay, drawing terrified looks from doctors and patients alike, not stopping until he found your room.

He ripped the door open, all calm was lost. "Is she alright?" He boomed, modified voice scaring the living daylights out of the doctors and nurses surrounding you. "S-Sir, erm-Commander we think she'll most likely survive with minor s-setback" A doctor answers, inspecting the wound as to not have to face Ren.

He sat down on a chair, further terrifying the staff with his presence. "She'd better," Kylo fumed, prepared to annihilate the staff over anything. He didn't know what made him feel like this, but he was prepared to wait days for you to awake. And wait he did.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It was early morning. You had just woken up, not in the Med Bay, but... in his room. He was already awake, looking at you with those deep brown eyes. You looked around, surveying the surroundings. You were wearing his sleep clothes, all too big on you, hair smelling freshly washed. You had an IV hooked up to your arm, and the stiff bandage across your torso chafed against delicate skin.

"I'm sorry" He uttered, quietly. "I said those things, and I... shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I don't- feel like that about you. I think you're.." He trailed off. He'd never said sorry before. You didn't know how to react.

Looking at him, caring for you in your injury made you frown. "Why do you- why do you care?"

"Here, lay down. Have some soup." He nudged you gently, positioning pillows behind your head. You were so shocked, you almost forgot your previous question. "Wait, but why are you doing this?" You whisper, voice hoarse.

"Because I love you"

[jichanxo]

senseific update ⭐

am gonna talk about senseific and my writing goal last month, so this is a long post ↓

my goal last month was to add 5,000-10,000 words to my senseific wip, and at 12:05am on the first day of the next month, i made it to 10,000 words 😭🙏 so stoked!! i made some serious tangible progress. for once. lol

it's currently at 45k words. i'm not sure exactly how much i added, since i deleted some of my placeholder writing and that cut into the word count as i worked, so realistically i added a bit more than 10,000, though i have no idea how much. either way, i made it!

i got a first pass done of all the dance club stuff, which is... the writing equivalent of me Eating My Veggies. it's not always the most fun (especially covering things that happened in canon) but it's necessary. feels like i've been stuck there forever, and now i can move onto other things... until of course i have to proofread it, but shhh...

robotics and boxing are next, i think. still very lost when i think about the biker stuff 😭 i did end up mentioning the skateboarding in passing, but i don't think i'll do much with that since the plot is so short. (i guess shikishima will turn up at the finale anyway?)

anyhow that still means there's a whole lot to do, and i need to keep doing my notetaking on the clubs 😔 back to the mines...

since i added so many words to chapter 3 (since i finally filled out the conclusion to the dance club plot) i had to change where i split chapters 3/4!

currently things look like this:

chapter 1: 7,011 words (this one needs minor adjustments when i sort out my shit with robotics club)

chapter 2: 6,895 words (i have a spot marked to add a robotics club scene)

chapter 3: 9,990 words (The Dance Club Conclusion. so she's fucking Big. after i take a break i'll need to give it a second pass)

just from looking at the word counts of these chapters you can see why getting 10,000 words done was a big deal for me... got a big chunk done...

chapter 4 got a new title and i shoved a few of the end scenes of chp3 at the start of this one instead. after that is an unfinished boxing scene, then some kitakata related plot to look at, so those are probably the next things i'll aim to get done.

chapter 4's currently called "talk too much", since the scene of kitakata saying something stupid to yagami got moved here instead of chapter 3. and also uh. gossip gets brought up. usually i need to think a lot for titles but this immediately felt right for once.

speaking of titles though, right now i'm unsure about senseific's title. again. but i have no alternative so i'll just have to keep thinking about it. maybe i need to ask around for opinions... it's not an urgent issue so maybe i'll stop worrying so much.

anyway it was kinda funny writing kitakata and yagami sorta getting along with the full knowledge that kitakata is going to ruin it all in an already written later scene 💀 don't give kitakata too much credit yagami, he's going to make you regret it later lmao

anyway i think that's everything. i wrote this text wall at 1am (though i will post it at a normal time)

[fineline2005]

1

a/n: Welcome to the addiction series!! this is my first ever serious post lmao, so please take it lightly. give me ur honest opinions tho! i hope you guys like it <3

this story is placed around the time harry got mugged on the street, but im changing some thing! he is also still dating olivia in the begining of this story so if that bother you im sorry. but that will change, just be patient my children....

famous!harry x plus size!normal oc

1.9k words (i promise i will try to make them longer lol)

the one where harry meets meg, but not in a way you would expect....

content warnings: mugging, talks of knives, talks of drugs and alchol, talks of being cross faded. i think thats it but let me know if there is anything else!!! this is an 18+ story!!! i cant stop you from doing it but please, viewer descretion is advised!!!!

part one, megs pov:

"damn, your crossed as fuck." pepper said laughing. i couldn't really feel it but i knew she was right. at this point im so use to the feelig that i cant even tell the difference. aside from the alchol i had taken a couple of things that were past around and somked a bit of weed. i wouldn't say i'm the 'highest iv'e ever been' but im definietly i in no state of mind to be driving. thank fully med had driven me her, as she was D.D tonight.

i was starting to get really hot. i knew that as soon as i felt that fire start to creep up my spine it was time for me to tap out from everything for the night. i passed the joint in my hands to the person on my right with out even remembering who it was. i picked myself off the couch and make a b-line for the front door, but not without pepper noticing me.

i feel someone follow me and i assume that it pepper. i turn around and see my assumtions are correct.

"hey, you ok?" she asks. i nod a brush it off, but at this point in our friendship there is nothing i could hide from her. physical or emotional. "tell me the truth meg." she says giving me her famous stare of truth, as we walk to a place more private.

"yeah, just having that feeling again." i dont need to explain more. she gives me a knowing look understanding what i'm talking about the minute i say it. she had a worried look on her face and sits there thinking about what to say next.

"maybe you should go home. do you need a ride?" i know she hasn't been drinking and it would probably be safer to drive with her, rather than walk the streets alone in LA at 1am, but i saw her talking with cassie (who she's been crushing on for month.) and i dont want her to have to stop something she barly got to start. i shake my head no and tell her that i can walk. she gives me an 'are you sure' look.

"i think it will be good for my head and make the hangover a lot more bearable in the morning. besides, i think tonight will finally be the night you get lucky with cass." i wink at her. she turns red before giving me a nod telling me to text her when i get home. i agree before hugging her and making my way out.

i start my jouney home holding on to the knife in my pocket just to be safe. i don't live in the best part of town, so i have to be ready for anything. i pull out my vape just to calm my nerves. i've always hated walking alone, and being crossed out of my mind wasn't helping.

i walk pretty fast for being in the state im in. as i start getting closer to my nighborhood, i hear some shit going down not far from me. of course its got to be the path i need to go down. i put my head down trying to ignore whatever it is and just get home. i make a lot of rash choices while being this fucked up, and the last thing i need to to go back to jail for the night.

as i get closer, i see a group of short guys surounding a rather tall man. i couldn't tell if this was some kind of drug deal with a skinny king-pin, or if the tall guy was in trouble. i decided to just act like i dont see anthing. the last thing i need tonight was to be dragged into what ever the fuck this was.

as i walk by i see the tall guy pull out a big stack of cash. i don't think i've seen that much moneyin one sitting in my life. i then realize the group of short guys was pointing a knife to him.

they were mugging him.

i may sound like a bad person for saying this, but i think i need that cash more the tall guy and the rest of these idiot. like i said, i make rash and stupid choices when im in this state of mind. so with out think i start to walk faster. i hear the group of me start to ask him for his phone. thats when i decide to take action.

"hey! leave him alone." i shout from about 12 feet away, being way more loud than i intended to. they look at me and start to laugh.

"i suggest you keep walking and turn your pretty head beforw something bad happends to you sweetheart." he says now pointiing his knife at me. the tall guy gives me a look telling me to just run.

i keep walking over there with my slightly bigger knife in my pocket with my hand on it incase i need to pull it out quickly.

"well this 'sweetheart' is perfectly capable of pretecting herself from idiots like you." god i'm so fucking stupid sometimes. i am in not shape to being doing this shit right now.

but the things i do for money are actually ridiculous.

"seriously sweetheart. the last thing i wanna do is use this big scary knife on such a pretty thing like you. so save yourself the trouble and keep walking."

at this point i'm pissed. maybe it was the alchol talking or maybe he was just a sexist pig. but now i had to do something. i chuckle a bit before starting my next sentance.

"you know what's a lot scarier then a 'big scary knife' attached to a 'big scary man'" i ask while stepping closer. he gives me an amussed look before letting me continue.

within 1 second my knife is against his throat and i'm in his face.

"an even bigger knife, with an even scarier girl who really doesn't give a fuck." fear pools into his eyes as he looks down to the knife he is stuck under. i look around the the rest of the guys seeing a look of shock on their faces as well as the tell man in the corner. they all look aroundnot knowing what to do next, conflicted on whether to help their friend, boss, or whhatever he is to them, or to stay where they are not wanting to be the next one under the knife.

"so what's it gonna be? are you going to leave me and this nice gentlemen alone and walk away? or are you going to have a painful reminder of how you got mugged while trying to mug someone. not to metion there is witnesses."

he thinks about it for a bit before he drops his own knife and him and is crew walk away.

good choice.

i look over to the tall, skinny man and see the look on his face of pure disbelief. i could almost laugh if it wasn't for the fact that i'm no better then the men i jusy scared off.

"thank you! thank you so much!" he says with a smile on his face. i grip my knife harder walking up to him slowly.

"don't thank me yet." i mummble before quickly pointing the knife to his stomach. he laughs to himself for a second. before i know it the knife is outo of my hand and on the ground while im being pushed against his chest and restrained.

"you obviously have never done this before, and if you have you are really bad at it" he says luaghing as he picks up and throws me over he shoulder.

thats new...

i laugh finding humor in the situation i put myself in.

"what gave it away." i ask still laughing. he chuckles along before answering. "maybe the fact the you are clearly not sober and aimed the knife at my leg rather then my stomach." if that was his leg then this guy is taller then i thought.

"what's your name?" i ask as we walk aroud with me still on her shoulder, having no idea where we are going. "harry. what's yours?"

"i'll tell you if you put me down." the blood was starting to rush to my head and if were to stay in that position for another 2 minutes i would probably throw up. before i know it i'm on the grown again, losing my balance. i almost fall but he grabs my arms and hold me up until im steady. "meg, my names meg." i say while looking up at him. he has a face i've see before but to be honest, when im thing crossed everyone looks like someone i've seen before.

"do you have a girlfriends harry?" i ask with a suggestive tone in my voice. "yes." he answers immediately, while straightening up his posture.

"good," i drop the tone looking at him seriously. "go home and tell her you love her. you could have died tonight." and with that i start to walk away. after this whole thing my mind is way more clear then when i left the party. now i just want to go to sleep.

"wait!" i hear fast foot steps approaching. i turn around to see him pulling out his wallet and phone. he takes out a couple of $100 bills and unlocks his phone. "i feel like i owe you this for saving me. and i feel like you owe me your number for trying to mug me after." i give him a pointed look feeling like this is some kind of joke and he's trying to mess with me for pulling a fast one on him. "don't you have a girlfriend you are suppose to be telling you love?" he luaghs. "i just want to keep in contact. you seem fun, even if you are a criminal." i smirk and grab his phone entering my number. as i'm doing so i pull out my vape taking a couple of hits before looking up. once i do i see a look on his face telling me he's not super into it. but he's a stranger so i dont really care what he thinks.

"what? you act like half the people in this city dont do this and you've never seen it before." i say before putting it back in my mouth and taking a few more hits. "i mean, i know and i have. its just i know really like it. you know how how bad that stuff is for you, right?"

"its called an addiction for a reason." i say. i had him back his phone. "and on that note, i bid you adieu." i say bowing and copying the accent i picked up on. i walk away and this time he doesnt follow me.

as i walk into my appartment i text pepper to let her know i make it home. i check the clocked to the that its now 3:30am. i didn't realize that much time had gone by. she response asking what took so long and if i was ok. i answer back telling her i'll tell her in the morning when we go on our daily walk-and-talk. something we've been doing since freshman year of highschool.

my head hits my pillow and i knock out almost intantly. deciding that what ever choices i make tonight will be a problem for future meg to deal with.

[the-bisexual-bitch]

So, I'm a writer, yeah?

When I write about somewhere that is real and set somewhere I don't live, I like to be very specific- I'll still make shit up, sure, as plot demands, but I like some accuracy in my shitty fanfiction!

For example- I was writing a TMA fic (I didn't finish it in time :p), and a character had to go to the ER- except, as a dumb American, I was like.... is it called the same thing??? (No, btw, it's called an A&E [accident and emergency] I think???), and then I chose a specific place and described the entrance, eg. 'The bold red letters reading [blank] contrasted sharply with the white building.' or whatever (that was a low effort chunklet, sry).

I go to the same* lengths for anything medical- that is to say, all the symptoms are possible for what I want them to be dealing with- fun fact, a concussion can cause a stutter. If you don't have serious brain damage, it should only last ~24 hrs after your injury, and if it lasts much longer, get yourself some speech therapy lol.

Anywho. It's 1am, I should be asleep lol

*I am an incompetent buffoon, and thus not a medical professional, but I do shove shit into Google and read through everything I can to at least attempt to be accurate- I can't have my poor little blorbos developing (temporary) speech impediments for no reason! It's gotta be because of that concussion they got after falling (and subsequently hitting their head on a brick wall) from pain and exhaustion from trying to run away with one (1) functional leg while heavily drunk (and traumatized!), going through opiate withdrawal, and losing an ass load of blood! My poor blorbos deserve BETTER!!

[agirlwithsecrettastes]

darkxfalcons

Go wild

  🎭 “I hope he lets me call him Daddy Duma for that’s a whole LOT of man~” 🎭    

[rezilient-m3]

February 15 (1am again).

It's only been 72 hrs, but I've had the worst day. Valentines. Dropped off my son after-school at Alex's. He showed me how nice he's been cleaning and touching up paint everywhere. Whatever. I finally asked him if he's selling his house for real. "If I get a decent price for it." "Then what?" "(His home province)" "You're not taking D" "Yes I am." "No you're not." And he had the audacity to say not the time or place for talking about it, and told me to get out. And to stop going there when he's not home. Like I ever do. Tf.

He was right tho. I didn't want to fight about it in front of our kid, so I left. And cried all day. I have the rankest headache. Didn't get my assignment done, but it's due Wed, so I have tomorrow lol.

Anyways, I told my parents. My dad called but I ignored it cuz I was ugly crying still. Slept a bit. He called back and told me to call a lawyer. It was already too late cuz it was after hours already. But I emailed a office to ask for a consultation. So, fuck it. Court it will be then. I'm not weak anymore for him to think he could bully me anymore. I'm tired of it. Fuck him if he wants to leave, he can go. But don’t take my baby.

I hate this tho. Not what I wanted. Idk why I assumed everything would be fine forever. He's not even from here. Shit head. And I don't even care anymore if they say I could take half his earnings from that house. I'd let it happen. Sick of thinking I owe him anything, or being scared. If I'm entitled, for my kid's sake, I'll take it.

We'll just have to see. I don't care if I don't get anything. Main thing is keeping my son here. He needs me, and he's close to my family. Alex barely even has his. And works away for work. He'd fuck up our kid if he took him away. Omgggggggg.

But fucking bedtime cuz I can't just not go to school. I'm so tired of dealing with piles of shit over and over. When can I just be done? All I wanna do is be happy, finish school and carry on with my life. 🥺 I'm so tired. And always hurting. Wtf.

[tired-eyes-cold-as-ice]

@floating-in-the-blue ohh I almost missed this! thank you for tagging me, darling! sorry it took so long haha <3

I will literally implode if I don't Explain Myself so I'm gonna do this a bit differently:

present tense or past tense - Sometimes I get ideas that sound great in the present tense, but then I start writing more and it just stops working for me, not sure why. Maybe it's just about practice but past tense just feels more comfy to write in.

first person or third person - I can't even read stuff in the first person, doesn't feel right.

double or 1.5-spaced or single spaced - Either single or just like 1.15 it just works. Everything else is too wide for me (having to use double spacing for school is a nightmare ugh).

action or emotion - I always get so lost in my characters' heads and feelings so I'll blurt out a whole page of them thinking about stuff without moving the plot forward in any way 😭

similes or metaphors - I love metaphors and but they usually happen accidentally for me lol. Similes I use a lot though.

OCs or existing characters - I like creating minor OCs in my stories, but I don't really feel the desire to write completely original stories featuring only OCs. It also seems really daunting. I'm happy to just write about my fave characters and exploring them more. 😊

fluff or angst - I can't help adding angst to stuff, I just can't. It's not intentional, it just HAPPENS but I guess that's just what my brain needs. Let's just say that there's a lot of projecting going on...

music or white noise or silence - I need something to be playing quietly in the background to help me focus, but it needs to be REALLY quiet and be unfamiliar. Also, I can't listen to music with lyrics cause it's too distracting.

character or plot - please sir can I have some plot

make them cry or make them laugh - I love both! I think I can be pretty funny and it's fun to create silly stories or scenarios. If they go on for long enough, though, my brain WILL make them sad. Why???? Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy.

tea or coffee - Both! But I'm likely to drink way more tea when writing for a long time cause I can't bring myself to drink more than two cups of coffee a day.

happy ending or bittersweet - I cannot deal with sad / bad endings.

morning or afternoon or night - I'm braindead in the morning. Unless inspiration strikes, I can't start writing until like late afternoon and then I end up hyperfixating on it until like 1am. Send help.

comic sans or times new roman (or calibri) - Why does everyone hate times new roman it's so pleasing on the eyes and makes me feel like an AuthorTM.

google docs or word - I prefer using word but I'm constantly switching my keyboard from czech to english to write apostrophes and shit and word just doesn't handle that well and keeps switching up the languages I'm writing in and it's just a mess. Google docs tend to lag but at least they auto-save and I like that I can access the docs from my phone when I suddenly think of something in the middle of the night. (I know that word can do everything google docs can but I can't be bothered to set it up 😪)

why do I talk so much lmfao I'm sorry

@chaoticandproud @fiddlepickdouglas if you want to do this <3 (the original version, not my Rant version lol)

The fabulous @jenleigh1 tagged me in this "how do you write" thing! Thank you, sweetie!! :D

present tense or past tense / first person or third person / double or 1.5-spaced or single spaced / action or emotion / similes or metaphors / OCs or existing characters / fluff or angst / music or white noise or silence / character or plot / make them cry or make them laugh / tea or coffee / happy ending or bittersweet / morning or afternoon or night / comic sans or times new roman (or calibri)/ google docs or word

As always, I'm all over the place ;D

low-pressure tagging: @chanihobbit, @merihn, @madamecristal, @tired-eyes-cold-as-ice, @fighttoshine, @where-you-go <3