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atarathegreat · 11 months ago

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Sleepy Time Mirio Togata

Showing that he was stressed out wasn't who Mirio was. Hero work took it's toll after a while, whether you were Endeavor or Hound Dog.

"Lemillion, sir?" One of the many assistants was peeking in his office, "It's after hours." She was right, it was after midnight and Mirio wasn't an overnight hero. Mirio sighed and thanked her for reminding him as she walked off. 1:30 in the morning for a man who was usually home for a delicious dinner and spent an hour watching tv with his beautiful wife was too late and too upsetting. Not only had he not eaten since midday, but he was also unable to spend time with the woman he loved before waking up the next day and doing it again.

The clanging of his locker opening filled the empty changing room, making him groan. If one more thing was loud and bothered his brain, Mirio was sure he would lose it. With his gloves tucked neatly in the bottom of his locker, he kicked off his shoes and placed them in with. An unanswered call home told him that Y/n was asleep, as expected at such a late hour.

Street lights revealed his way home. Mirio just wanted to be home, wished he would've been home hours ago instead of ever having woke up for work. Dark alleyways and brightly lit store fronts assaulted his eyes as he tried to stay focused on road signs and street lights.

He felt guilty, so guilty, for opening the door and dropping his keys loudly. A heavy sigh scratched at his already dry throat, but he could tell that Y/n had gone around and placed her hands on the very wallpaper. Mirio was eternally grateful for his wifes quirk, the way her simple handprint could exude calm like a lavender candle, no matter it's placement.

"Baby?" Mirio spoke softly as he walked into their room, slipping from his jeans. Waking her up wasn't really his plan, but he would love to speak with her for at least a little bit.

Y/n was laid on her stomach, soft snores sliding from her lips and reaching his ears. He loved her, more than he thought was probably healthy, but he loved her. Just the way she was laying, the fact that he knew she wasn't wearing any bottoms under that blanket, and her thin tank top was enough to make him stare. Groaning, he palmed his crotch as he thought about her body. Y/n shifted slightly as Mirio pulled the blanket from her, folding it out of his way as he settled between her legs, using his knee to spread one of her legs wider.

"Baby?" He pressed himself to her back, slipping his hands under her and groping at her breast, "Wake up, honey."

She hummed in her sleep, hardly a reply for the man who wanted to hear her voice, but he wasn't in a position to complain. He'd left her at home all day and missed their time together. The way she wiggled rubbed her bottom on his cock, making him hiss into her skin. Mirio couldn't take it and shoved his boxers off his thighs, "I'm sorry, baby, I know I should wake you up."

He hooked his fingers in her panties and moved the fabric aside, making her groan disapproval at the cold air that he didn't doubt was taunting her cunt as much as it was taunting him. "Just a second, baby," Mirio spit into his hand, rubbing it along his length, "it'll get warm again."

"Oh, hell..." Mirio rubbed his saliva coated tip through her folds, feeling the slight relief only her contact brought him. "Little wider, sweetheart." Mirio bent her knee, picking her up a little to stuff a pillow under her hips. Soft kisses were trailed across her shoulders, his hand gently rubbing his tip around her entrance. "God, I'm sorry, Y/n." Mirio grunted as he pushed all the way in, bottoming out as softly and quickly as possible. The way Y/n's brows knit together and her soft moans went straight through his body and twitched in his dick.

Slow, deep thrusts pulled silent grunts from the tired hero, his hands wrapping back around and groping his lovers breasts. Panted breaths blew heat onto her neck, whiny moans escaping her as a heat in her own body woke her. "M-Mirio?" Her breathy voice caused his grip on her tits to tighten. Mirio placed a chaste kiss to the back of her neck, "I'm sorry, baby."

She gripped the pillow under her head, "Fair trade, since we missed our movie." And Mirio laughed, thrusting deeper into her warmth, "Will you leave a handprint on me?" Fuck, Mirio was almost too far gone in her body that he wasn't sure he could hold out much longer. "Finish this and I will." She nodded, scooting her legs under her to raise her body into him. Mirio leaned back and squeezed her hips. "Hold tight." Was the only warning received before Mirio started pounding into her, his own whimpers joining in with her loud moans.

"Sorry, baby." Mirio panted, grabbing her wrists and holding her up as he went faster, eyes trained on where his cock was disappearing into her, "You're holding me perfectly, I can't take it."

"Oh, yes you can." Her sounds were honey. Mirio was always lost in her voice, but when it was breathy and tired and whining, it was like his dick took on all the thinking. He could feel his tip hitting as deep as her body allowed, her gasps confirming that he was hitting right where she needed him. "Gonna come for me, baby?" Mirio chuckled, dropping her chest into the mattress. Once more, her whines were enough of an answer for him, enough of a silent plea for him to go a little faster. "Shit, Miri!" She moved her ass to meet his thrusts, her breath hitching each time his cock kissed that sweet little spot that she loved. Mirio's eyes rolled back as she came, her cunt squeezing him and milking out his own orgasm.

"I'm sorry, baby, I should've woke you up first." Mirio rested his head on her back. Her giggles reached his ears and she wrapped her fingers around his wrist, leaving her print, "Apologize by making breakfast in the morning."

#anime #manga #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #fanfiction #x reader #mirio togata #mirio x reader #mha mirio #bnha mirio

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elexuscal · 2 years ago

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The "Top" fics in fandom are not the "Best"

I've seen a couple of posts here in there implying that the ways to find the best fics in fandoms are just to go to ao3, and sort by 'Most Kudoses', 'Most Bookmarks', 'Most Comments', etc. I've also seen some folks say they feel like their fics are failures if they don't make it to the front page(s), or at least near there.

But the simple fact: this is not true.

Now, I'm not saying that the top-rated fics in a fandom are bad.

Far from it! They're often very popular for a reason. Well written, fun dynamics, cool plots, etc. A lot of my own favourite fics have made it to the first page when you sort by "Most Kudos"-- but then, a lot of mine also haven't.

Why?

Because those selections are inherently biased.

What do I mean by that? Just that there are other factors influencing what stories accumulate the most comments/kudoses/etc in a fandom, meaning none of these serve as a neutral metric of quality.

I'm going to explain some of these biases briefly, just so folks get a sense of what I mean:

Age Bias This, I think, is the easiest to grasp. A fic that is three years old just has had more time to gain views than a fic that's three days old. Also, consider that pretty much any fandom needs time to grow. If you're in the first days/weeks/months of a fandom, there probably just isn't that much content being made. If there's only 10 fics on the archive, then 11th one stands out. It'll get a lot of attention. But if that same fic were to come out a couple years later, when there were 11 fics published in a single day, well, people are more likely to miss it. If you doubt me, take a look at the front page of 'Most Kudos' for a fandom of your choice. You'll probably see a lot of the stories there are on the older side- and this is exactly why.

Multi-Chapter Bias There are a lot of ways people find new fics to read, and one of the most basic is just: look at the front page of the most recent updates. Now, this way of sorting fics is exactly what it sounds like. A list of fics in order of when they were most recently posted/updated. But, obviously, if a fic has multiple chapters, it's going to appear on that front page way more often. A 50 chapter epic has 49 more chances to get seen this way than a one-shot. This issue becomes even more intense when you consider the Most Comments sort option. For a one shot, a person is probably likely to only comment once. Maybe if they really love the story and revisit, they'll leave a second or third. But multi-factor fics? By design, people come back every update. And that means a lot of people leave comments every single time. (Or at the very least, after big plot developments and twists!) This is what leads to long-running multi-chapter epics dominating the 'Most Comments' rankings in most fandoms.

Popular Pairing Bias Again, this is just obvious. Some pairings are more popular than others. A rare-pair fic can be just as soulful, hot, and well-written as a story featuring the fandom's powerhouse fic, but if only 30 people are interested, well... [shrug] Less people will click on it, kudos it, and leave a comment. To a lesser extent, you can expand this to any trope. 'Coffee Shop AUs' just seem to be more popular than, say, '1930s Mobster AUs'. That effects what tags people search, and what fics they find. But shipping is such an important element of many fandom cultures I thought it would be the most illustrative.

Positive Feedback Loop Bias And honestly, this is maybe the real clincher. Because I've established some of the things that can cause a story to start gathering lots of kudos, comments, and bookmarks in a first place. But once that starts, you get a positive feedback loop going. Because what's one of the first things a person does when they're looking for good stories in a fandom? They sort by 'Most Kudos'. And then they select the first story on the list, and they like it. So they leave a comment and kudos and... Yeaaaah.

So... What do we do about it?

Well. Nothing really. This isn't really a problem. It's just something to be aware of.

Any attempt to put metrics on something as subjective as art is going to fall short. So don't go rating the quality of your own stories about how well it performs, and don't go chasing those coveted top spots. You'll have a lot more fun if you just write stuff that you enjoy, make some friends, and recognise a lot of factors influence fanfic statistics beyond just quality.

Searching via most comments/kudoses/bookmarks remains one of the easiest and quickest ways to start diving into a new fandom. It's often the first things I do, and found stories I love that way.

That said: I highly encourage you to search for fics beyond just that method. Here are some of my suggestions if you want to figure out ways to get started:

Search up Fanfic Rec Lists. Lots of people put them on their blogs, and websites like TVTropes even have that as a whole feature

Ask for fic recs! Seriously! Post about it in the fandom's tumblr tag, join Discord communities, etc, and just say, "Hey, I'd love to read a story where... [insert the general themes, characters, or plot points you like". People will be EXCITED to share.

Search by specific tags Like, do you really, really love time loops? Search the 'Time Loop' tag in your favourite fandoms. A lot of specific tropes, AUs, etc. are canonized, so you can find a lot of stuff up your alley that way

Browse the most recently updated fics Yeah, I know, it's old school. But seriously, you can find some awesome stuff there-- including stories from new authors just starting out, who could really use a boost!

And hey... if you find some stories you like... Consider writing some fic recommendation lists of your own. Spread the love!

#fanfic #archive of our own #ao3 #fandom

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writinghotchner · 1 year ago

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Wait I love girldad!hotch so much. Hotch x Reader where they have a baby girl? Since it's christmas maybe a cute family xmas moment with them and Jack?

god, i love girldad!hotch too 😭

fandom: criminal minds pairing: hotch x fem!reader rating: e warnings: none

this isnt as christmassy as i really wanted but this is where the story took me?? 🤷‍♀️ anyway, i hope you enjoy it! <3

it was relatively late when you finally dragged your tired feet through the front door of your home. later than you usually get home, anyway. 7 pm isn't usually late for most people, but you're usually home by 4, 4:30 at at the latest. a holiday party fiasco kept you later than normal and you could've snuck away sooner if it hadn't of been for your boss stalking and lurking his way through the building.

as you step inside and kick off you heels, you're immediately hit with two things. 1. something smells so good and, 2. your daughter has once again been possessed by the loudest screamiest demon to ever travel the dark realms.

you quickly shrug off your coat and drop your bag off at the door and make your way to the smells and noises. you travel down the small hallway, taking in the christmas decorations that adorn the walls, you trail by the big beautiful christmas tree thats fully lit and standing so tall in the living room, and then you finally round your way into kitchen where you see your husband with your nine month old daughter strapped to his chest, the carrier straps crisscrossed along his back giving it away. he's bouncing her as he speaks while stirring whatever it is he's making on the stove. you lean against the door frame with a smile listening to the cuteness in front of you.

your daughter's screaming has calmed down now, it's now just a hiccupping cry accompanied by little sniffles here and there. you see hotch use his spare hand to bring it up to cup the back of the little girls head.

"i know, baby, i miss her too, but she'll be home and we'll both be so happy, huh?" he steps away from the stove and starts swaying her, his hand never leaving the back of her head. he turns a little giving you access to her little face and you can then see her big beautiful brown eyes staring up at him and the worlds biggest frown on her face. even from this distance you can see her face is red from screaming and she still has globs of tears threatening to leave her eyes at any given moment.

"i'll put on a wig and one of mommy's shirts if it'll make you feel better," he says in his baby-talk voice. "i'll do whatever you want if you'll just stop giving me those big sad eyes."

you can't help but to chuckle at that. you step more into the kitchen to rest your elbows against the island counter directly behind him.

"what's goin' on in here?" you finally say and hotch spins around, his face cracking open with a smile.

"hey!" he laughs through his smile, "when did you get home?"

"just now." you tell him. you stand behind him and pop up on your toes to peer over his broad shoulder at your baby girl. she's nearly stopped crying at this point but the second her eyes land on you and she realizes who you are, she full on screams, the tears sitting in her eyes now free falling down her cheeks. her face scrunches up so much you wonder how it's even possible.

"oh, baby," you coo, moving to stand next to your husband as he helps you pull her out of the carrier. "what's the matter, huh? stuck at home with daddy all day got you the blues?"

hotch turns to glare at you for that. "we had a good time." he says turning back to the stove. "you know, until she started screaming at me."

you hold her close to your chest, your lips resting on the top of her soft head. she almost immediately calms, save for a few shuttering breaths. you sway her slowly, giving her a little squeeze of comfort.

"where's jack?" you ask, turning to look back into the living room to see if he was in there watching tv.

"he's probably in his room getting ready."

you blink a couple of times, your eyes drifting up to think about why jack would be getting ready to go somewhere. and then it hits you.

"oh, no, dave's is tonight?" you questioned, checking the time on the on the stove. dave had invited the entire bau gang + family to his house for christmas eve dinner, it had been in your planner since thanksgiving.

hotch turns to look at you. "yeah. is that a problem? we can cancel if-"

"no! no, it's okay. i just forgot. it's been a long tiring day." you sigh, a little mad at yourself for forgetting.

hotch opens the oven door and takes out a batch of what looks like sugar cookies. he uses his foot to close the door behind him as he sets the cookie tray down, and then he shuffles his socked feet over to you, quickly enveloping you and your daughter in a hug. he smiles at you lovingly before he kisses your lips and then kisses his daughter's head.

"i can take the kids if you want to stay here."

you shift the now sleeping baby to your left arm and use your right arm to pull him closer to you, reconnecting your lips.

"that's sweet. but i don't mind going, really. my social battery might be a little on the dead side, though." you kiss him again with a hum, chuckling softly when you taste the sugar cookies on his lips.

he smiles against you. "okay," he says, taking the baby out of your arms. "i'll take her, you go check on jack and then go get ready. everything in here is nearly done, and then all i have to do is get changed and put her in her christmas onesie." the little girl whines a little as shes moved but doesn't make much of an effort to wake up or cry. he sits her back in her carrier, her head lulling to his chest, her little lips smacking as she settles into him. you nearly cry at the sweetness of it all. especially the thought of the littlest hotchner in her green christmas tree onesie that penelope had gotten her before she was even born.

"she's fine, honey, get outta here." and with that, he lightly snaps a hand towel across your butt grinning.

you laugh and turn to leave the kitchen but not without throwing "keep that up, hotchner, and we won't leave this house," over your shoulder. and then you're gone.

"oooh, mommy's being mean to daddy, little one." hotch stage whispers. she doesn't move or even open her eyes. "oh, i see how it is. take her side, huh?"

#fic request #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #*mine #*reader

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lilgaeguli · 1 month ago

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[ pairing ] childhood best friend × f!reader;

[ sinopsis ] childhood friends with a mutual feeling that blossomed on a sunny summer vacation;

[ wc ] 3,4k

[ genre ] fluffy smut

[ warning ] unprotected sex (don't do this), fingering (f receiving), tons of rough sex, cute nicknames, Hongjoong is a certified lover boy, kitty slapping (once), nipple play, and some comedy at some point (???)

[ song reccomendation ] we can't be friends — Ariana Grande, sweater wheater — The Neighborhood, Friends — Chase Atlantic & Wild Thoughts — Rihanna;

[ n/a ] I really liked to write this cause I loved the vibe. I hope you get it 𖹭

[ ! ] everything written here is merely fictional and does not represent the artists mentioned.

It was supposed to be just a trip between old friends, but it turned out that spring found them, blossoming a forgotten passion.

Everyone ran from one side to the other shouting and singing while you felt your stomach churn as you laying down on the couch waiting for that damn nausea to pass, staring at the old, turned off television. The sun was slowly hiding behind the horizon beginning the night, but for you it only reminds you of the early morning you spent awake. With your eyes closed, you felt like a burden in that state. Through the reflection of the television, with half-open eyes you saw Hongjoong approaching.

— Are you better? — He said, leaning on the couch.

Your head throbbed just from hearing his voice a little louder. You grimaced, bringing a hand to your temple, almost begging him not to open his mouth anymore. Maybe it was a little rude of you.

— Uh, sorry — Then he noticed — I'll speak more softly.

— No problem, it's not your fault — You reassured him, closing your eyes to avoid the light — What time is it, Joong?

Your stomach growled, begging you to eat something, but you were sure you would throw it all up. Damn anxiety, it should have passed by now.

— It's 4:30 pm — he whispered thoughtfully.

Silence hung for a moment, but this time it caused you immediate loneliness. You felt something on your forehead, making you open your eyes with difficulty. It was just Hongjoong checking your temperature with his cold hand. His bright eyes were full of concern despite his expressionless face.

— You need to eat something.

Anxiety. Even the idea of swallowing something repulsed you. You always felt like this on long trips, it took a little less time for the nausea and anxiety to pass. Probably because this time you were traveling with just your friends for the first time, even though it was only a few days in your parents' old summer house, your intuition indicated that something was different.

— I don't want to. It'll pass soon. Besides, I don't want to throw up.

Let's just say that Seonghwa's car almost got a new decoration on the trip. However, not even this infamous reminder made Hongjoong give up.

— You're as white as a sheet, you need to eat – he said more imposingly — I'm going to make some tea and think of something decent, you're going to eat even if I have to feed you. Your mother will kill me if she finds out that I left you on the verge of anemia — That's an exaggeration.

It was strange how he always found a way to take care of you. Not strange, in fact very adorable, almost brotherly to say the least. Knowing that it would be smarter not to argue, you just nodded.

— Aren't you going to see the lake?

Almost as a reflex, Hongjoong picked up a pillow, hitting Mingi, who came into the room excitedly. Poor thing. You laughed softly, avoiding moving, causing a possible dramatic stab.

— Is she still sick?

— Shut up, Mingi! — he scolded once more, coming out louder than he would have liked. Realizing it, Hongjoong looked at you, pleading for mercy on his face.

Your lips twisted chuckling. The headache was going away. Mentally thanking yourself, you sat down and looked through the door that pointed to the huge lawn surrounded by the forest. You felt foolish for being in that state instead of reliving your childhood memories in that place.

— She’s fine, look — Mingi pointed out, regretting it in the same second due to the storm in his eyes threatening them — Ah… Hongjoong, we were thinking about playing marcopolo¹, maybe going into the forest once more. What do you think?

— Here’s what you do, Mingi — From the beginning of the sentence and Kim’s tone, you already knew what was coming — Why don’t you go ahead and whenever I shout “Marco” you shout “Polo”, we’ll run, I’ll find out where you are. It’ll be super fun — he said ironically, gesturing, that sharp smile was the cherry on the cake.

Giving you a discouraged look, Mingi left cursing softly. You let the laziness melt away from your body and stood up, your shoulders feeling lighter. You didn’t feel the slightest bit like running after butterflies or jumping in the lake with the boys, but it was a start.

— Joon, I’m going up to my old room. I want to take a shower but I promise I’ll come down to help with dinner.

Your feet touched the floor more firmly, a relief.

— No problem, just rest. I’ll be right up to get you something to eat, princess.

Just like the warm sun of that afternoon, that lovely nickname warmed your chest. You went upstairs, walking through the hallways lit only by the rays of sunlight through the windows. It was like reliving a perfect memory, you could smell the cookies your mother baked, perfuming the house, while you and Hongjoong played hide and seek.

You've always been together since you can remember. You grew up together, two children who used to fight over Pokémon cards now barely spent time together due to their busy lives. Seeing the man Kim Hongjoong become filled you with pride. Distant but so familiar, and even from a distance he found a way to take care of you. Maybe it's true that a girl's first crush is the purest.

Entering your room, you caught a glimpse of the wallpaper on the walls with some war marks, that is, chalk scribbles, and your clean bed with a stuffed rabbit on top. Everything was as it always was, as if you had never even left that place.

Stopping for a second you noticed that finally that anxiety and nausea had passed, relieved you looked for your suitcase that Seonghwa had left next to your old dressing table. Out of the corner of your eye you captured your image in the axed mirror. You were a woman now.

After a relaxing bath, you put on a white dress with yellow flowers, like when your mother would bathe you and tidy you up after playing all afternoon completing your memories. You sat in front of the dressing table, fixing your hair with a smile on your face. Just to see if it was just a daydream, you opened the drawers and proved to yourself that that room had stopped in time.

You found things that you didn't even suspect existed anymore, like an unfinished sketchbook full of folds and a photo album. You opened the small album, a little dust tickling your nose indicating the time the object had been forgotten. Each frozen image made a movie run through your head. Until you found a photo of Hongjoong and you together, his knee was scraped, next to the bicycle revealing the reason for the injury. You laughed to yourself as you remembered the story behind the photo. You decided that you were going to teach Kim how to ride a bike without training wheels, helped him, but only for the first 5 seconds before he took his body and the bike to the ground. In an attempt to help, you did as your mother did and showered him with kisses.

— Knock knock — speaking of him — what are you laughing at? I could hear it as I walked up the stairs — he said, entering the room, balancing a cup in his hand and closing the door behind him with his foot.

Was the house too quiet or were you really excited? Probably both.

—Try drinking a little, it might help ease the… anxiety — he got lost in his own words, but his proud face said what was necessary.

Hongjoong quickly admired you from head to toe, not wanting to be caught doing such an act. You nodded in thanks, grabbing the hot cup and leaving it on the dresser.

— I found some interesting things here. Want to see? — you asked, sipping his tea.

He quickly nodded and you made room for him to sit next to you. You put the cup aside and opened the photo album showing that funny photo, to say the least. When he saw the photo, his face lit up and his previously rigid shoulders took on a relaxed posture, but once again all you could pay attention to was that sweet and funny laugh.

— I didn't know that photo existed. My knee hurt just looking at it — he scratched his head

— Do you want a little kiss to make it better?

Adorable! Both of your cheeks turned a peachy shade. Every joke has a grain of truth. You wanted that, didn't you? — I mean, maybe it wasn't obvious, but you couldn't argue — Your fear was that you wanted that but it could be platonic, or worse, being rejected. Why would he, who watched you grow up and protected you so much, see you as anything more than a friend? But there was a small chance that he was thinking the same thing and that's what you clung to.

— There's one more thing I wanted you to see.

You rummaged through the drawer, fully aware of what you would find. Feeling the objects, you turned to him and placed them in his hands.

— Wait a second, I remember these rings — Holding the rings at his fingertips, he shook his head in disbelief — I bought us lollipops after school and they came as a gift. Later, we played wedding games.

He remembered, even more vividly than you. Hongjoong had a lot to say, questions to ask, it was clear but a lump in his throat held back his words. Suddenly he felt 13 again, looking at you still wondering if it was the right thing to do. A breeze hit the back of the man's neck, that silence creating the perfect environment just for the two of you as if the universe had finally aligned.

— I promised I would take care of you. Even if you left my side I would still be waiting for you — he laughed breathlessly, his eyes were aimless — After all these years... are you still mine?

Millions of fireworks exploded, clearing your mind, finally opening the horizon. It took a few seconds for you to formulate a cohesive sentence, if you knew how torturous those milliseconds were for him. You looked at each other calmly, looking like two fools. Finally, the two of you met again. You brought your faces closer, waiting for his reaction. He left the boy he used to be behind, without hesitation he started a warm kiss. It was sweeter than you could ever imagine, his soft lips against yours gave you goosebumps all over. Taking a liberty, he brought a hand to the back of your neck, deepening the slow kiss that like gunpowder ran through your body, warming you completely. It gradually took a needier turn, as if your bodies were now acting on their own, searching for a perfect connection.

— Joon… wait a minute — you separated, taking a breath. His lips shone, calling you once more, but you knew that from then on it would be dangerous territory.

— What happened? Did I do something wrong? — You wanted to pinch yourself. It was impossible for someone as kind as him to exist. Fool, that’s how you should feel for not having opened your eyes sooner.

— No, no, no. I just… — you didn’t want to say it, it felt wrong to say such a thing to someone who until a few seconds ago was nothing more than your best friend. But your mistake was forgetting that he knows you, from your tantrums to your silliest quirks.

— I don’t want you to feel obligated to do anything. It’s okay — you said, making your lips form a line that was still cheerful.

That wasn’t exactly what you wanted to say.

You placed a hand on his chest, pushing him weakly out of the seat and standing up with him gently. You looked deep into his brown eyes and gave him two short kisses that had an innocent undertone.

— I’m tired of waiting for your love, Hongjoong.

Your hands ran over his shoulders, stopping around his neck, caressing the area. In perfect connection, he moved his hands, adorned with silver rings, to your waist, further limiting the distance between your bodies.

—Me too — he murmured — No more games.

Your lips met once more without any secondary thought making you question, in order to explore hidden parts of each other. He sought your warmth in someone who only offered him cold. After so long wanting more than the title “friend,” Hongjoong tried to remain calm, always aware of which part of you he could touch, controlling his growing urgency. You knew what you wanted, it was no longer a surprise. Given that, you helped him take off his shirt, throwing it anywhere in the room. That unknown sensation enveloped you more intensely to the point of being irreversible.

You guided him to the bed and laid him down, untying his belt, as passive-aggressive as he was. You seemed like completely different people at that moment, leaving any modesty aside. Your mesmerizing eyes enchanted him as you crawled towards him, that perfect vision at the same time angelic, promiscuous and seductive. You distributed kisses along his neck, going up his jaw to his ear, moaning softly just so he could have a taste of how much you wanted him. He grabbed your hips, adjusting you on his lap, desperately trying to have some kind of friction, that's when you felt how hard he was.

— I've been craving you for so long…

He whispered hoarsely, bringing you the taste of all the nights you fantasized about his hands running over the curves of your body, saying how good you're for him.

— So don't be shy, taste me.

You took off your dress, revealing your bare breasts. At that moment Hongjoong observed you like the most delicate piece of art, but he wanted to mark you, claiming you as his. He changed positions, attacking your breasts with kisses and hickeys. His tongue working on one of your nipples while he played with the other, pinching it, caused a mixture of sensations of sensitivity, pain and pleasure.

— shit, you're so amazing — you whined

— Oh, you like that? I can do this all night long, princess.

He grunted, smirking. Your nipple between his teeth caused you a strangely pleasurable agony. However, a lack grows inside you.

— I had a very nice dream that started like this — He said, looking at you, smiling sweetly.

— And how did it end? — you asked, feeling your skin boil.

— you teaching me how to make you feel good while I ruin my little princess.

His calm voice saying something so obscene was a reward for all the waiting during these years. You caressed his face, the warmth of his cheeks brought back memories, now being replaced by new ones.

— Let's end what you started — you whispered, pulling your silver necklace to get his attention.

He gave you a few short kisses, smiling sweetly at each small distance. From now on, words alone would not be enough to express his desires and feelings. While one of his hands supported you on the bed, the other slid down your body. After a light squeeze on your waist, he entered your panties. The silver of his rings made your stomach turn. Circular movements began on your pussy. He observed the smallest of your reactions, always returning to the most torturous points that were indicated to him, sliding his fingers over your slippery folds. He kissed your forehead lovingly even as you grumbled about his fingers searching for more.

— Please, Joon... I need you inside — You sighed a little frustrated.

— We waited so long, what are a few more seconds? — he teased, laughing — I just need to make sure I won't hurt you.

He didn't just want to try to take care of you, but to make sure that only he could hurt you the way he wanted. Slowly you felt your insides stretch and the cold silver once again made itself present, making you gasp heavily. Two of his fingers invaded you while his thumb continued its work tirelessly. Your low moans incited him even more, if you kept up this pace you wouldn't be able to last much longer, but it was far from enough. You grabbed his hand when you felt your sensitivity slowly increase, that didn't stop him from giving your swollen pussy a few taps, making you choke on your own breath.

— Hongjoong... — his sparkling eyes, so pure, begged for mercy.

He wanted to make sure that your first time together was the best possible for you, unfortunately they would have to avoid drawing attention. Next time he'll make sure to make you scream his name to whoever wants to hear, but right now he needed to remember what it's like to have fun with you.

— I want to see you cumming on my cock so badly

Hongjoong was making a great effort to contain himself just to worship you, but he couldn't ignore his own desire any longer. He got on top of you and pulled down his jeans, showing his covered hardness. He pulled you by the waist easily, already showing his need. The wet base of his cock slid over your wet pussy before invading you completely, making a wet sound, you swallowed every inch of him perfectly, your cervix was pressed, causing you ecstasy making you ignore any discomfort, feeling only him pulsating inside you. He moved his hips slowly, sliding into your warm interior, increasing the speed as your moans escaped.

— Fuck, you feel so good — he said, running his tongue over his teeth with a wicked smile, completely different from the Kim Hongjoong you always kept your eyes on — my babydoll is taking me so well…

The weakly afternoon sun hit his face and made him even more attractive, his concentrated expression and his hoarse moans made you lose yourself for a second, inert in pleasure in all forms, that's when you were surprised by voices outside the house, it seems the boys came back from the lake.

— Shit — he cursed, pushing the strands of sweat-damp hair back — Chill, baby. Don't hold back.

He stood above you, resting one hand on the headboard of the bed, now making full eye contact, which was a complete mess. It didn't take long for him to return to his work and thrust into you more aggressively this time, making it difficult not to make a sound. That's when he grabbed your hips, reaching your deepest point. Your insides contracted and euphoria took over you, you moaned slowly but were interrupted by him covering your mouth.

— Look at me — he couldn't be enjoying himself more — We need to be quiet. No one but me should hear you like this, right? — he asked rhetorically, going slower but rougher.

You nod with teary eyes, and he slowly takes his hand away, allowing you to breathe in relief.

— I don't care about who's outside — you whispered — Fill me up, please.

He was as surprised as you were to hear those words spoken by your sweet lips. Your wish was his command. Hearing you begging like that, he thrust into you again, hard, in contrast to a soft kiss that he started in an attempt to mask his own moans. You reached your limit, leaving his lips, and he just watched you so vulnerable, cumming on his dick, your liquids mixed and leaking through your pussy, sensitive to the touch. He lay down next to you, cradling you in his arms, caressing your hair, distributing simple kisses over every inch of your skin, showing how proud he was.

— You know we’re not just friends anymore, right? — You turned to him, snuggling into his chest, wondering if maybe you hadn’t sounded too oppressive.

— We’re already married. Have you forgotten? — He joked, easing the tension in your mind —Honestly, I don’t care about the title, but I’ll keep trying until you’re mine alone.

You kissed, leaving any doubts behind, staying there enjoying each other’s presence for a few seconds until you noticed the unusual silence for a full house. A few grumbles revealed the reason for the tranquility. Hongjoong snorted, rolling his eyes.

— Marco! — He called loudly, looking at the closed door.

And outside the room he heard someone answering “polo!”.

— Damn…

join my taglist

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez smut #atz smut #atz fluff #ateez scenarios #atz reactions #ateez hongjoong #ateez imagines #ateez hard hours #ateez drabbles #atz x reader

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ixiot-ghostrebel · 2 years ago

Note

Sagau touched starved reader but you know got trauma so not comfortable with being touched. Like staring like a cat for affection but terrified of being hugged back or things like that

You got it, Anon! Though, I will warn you a little: I'm not going to go too deep into detail with the trauma stuff. It'll be very brief.

Touch Starved! Reader Wanting Hugs From Zhongli, Diluc, and Al-Haitham...With A Twist.

Zhongli

The moment he realizes that you are touched-starved, this old man isn't exactly sure what to do. After all, you got some extreme PTSD going on after the whole "imposter-creator" fiasco.

He does try to approach it as a topic, but since you're weary of (quite literally) everyone and find suspicion in every action, you kind of catch on to his intentions. And Zhongli notices this, but he's still going to take it slow.

"I assure you, Your Grace, I will not push your boundaries lest you are uncomfortable." He's sincere and means every word. To him, this is like signing a contract. He's the God of Contracts, so this is especially important to him. What he says is solid as stone—his dedication to prove that is clear as day.

This man is also very keen—he sees how you look like a touch-starved cat when you want affection, but are too scared to approach and ask. It kind of breaks him, but he doesn't show it because he wants to prove that he's not helping out of pity, but understanding.

In the end, Zhongli will probably be able to be near you, and get in a few (with consent) head peats that you are very well aware of. It's going to take time for you to warm up to him before this guy gets to hug you.

Diluc

This guy probably understands your intense cat-staring the most. He sometimes feels like that after his father passed. He's very unsure and awkward of what to do, if I'm being honest.

After a little while, of course, Diluc feels like he should place the offer out. He feels too awkward and guilty for just noticing you like this and not doing anything about it.

"Your Grace...I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries, but please know that I am willing to offer you any assistance you need." It's only later does he realize you wanted hugs and were too scared to ask for it.

Yeah...he's not exactly that open with his emotions either, so it will definitely be awkward, but he is willing to give it a few tries. Diluc will also be the first to pull back and apologize if he realizes you are in any discomfort.

To say it took a while is only putting it in the simplest form.

Alhaitham

Oho...if you though Diluc was awkward, consider this man. He's more "thinking machine that feels" than like his roommate ("feeling machine that thinks"), so he definitely does not understand the "social cue" that is your cat-stare.

He has done research (aka read books way back in the days and remembered the contents) and understands the mental turmoil you've gone through, so he has gone through the steps of trying to get out of your way, and also try and link you to a therapist. This, of course, kind of fails.

"Your Grace...please get some therapy. It's beneficial for your mental health." Quite literally might drag Tighnari or someone else into this if he can't convince you. This is quite literally out of his expertise.

The entire "I want a hug" cue flies completely over his head, and had it not been for Kaveh (and/or Nahida), he probably wouldn't have realized his mistake.

...Yes, it took what felt like 3 eternities just for him to try and give you affection. Must I say anything else?

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: AND HERE WE ARE! Anon, I am so sorry for taking 30 years to do this, but I have finished it! Boy, I was so tired and stressed these days, but I'm kinda glad I finished this!

For anyone waiting for The Lost Shining God of Celestia Pt. 2, please have some patience—I currently do not have much motivation to work on that series. Instead, feel free to dump requests in my mailbox!

Also—feel free to dump any HSR requests into my mailbox! I want to give them a try :)

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #sagau x reader #genshin self aware #sagau #sagau genshin #yandere sagau #genshin cult au #sagau brainrot #sagau cult au #sagau angst #sagau isekai #imposter sagau #sagau zhongli #sagau alhaitham #sagau diluc #sagau impostor au

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inbabylontheywept · 3 months ago

Text

So. So. I have a horrific backlog in my inbox, and past attempts at answering it have generated more asks. Generally at a higher rate than I could answer the asks. Exceeding escape velocity. And I've been mulling over how to solve this, and my idea was to create a super-bus answer post. It'll be a little lengthy, so, you know. Click read more at your own risk. Roll them dice.

Well, you clicked it. God speed and god bless.

--- @meowserita says

I feel obligated to tell you i stayed up till four am reading a bunch of you stories, because they're incredible. Also feel like saying that the only other times ive stayed up this late in recent memory is when i was binge reading one piece so take that as you will. We'll see how much i regret this but odds are i wont like i didnt regret staying up reading one piece

Hahaha! Ha! Oof. I am extremely flattered and awed and impressed but also, my stories are going to be there tomorrow, and the next day, and maybe forever depending on how this whole "civilization" thing pans out. So. Sleep more. But also thank you for being a mega fan.

I had like, a week long binge of Naruto in middleschool that was awful. I didn't even like the show that much. People recommend anime to me now, and I feel like a former alcoholic turning down drinks at a party. No thank you, there's a 99% that will simply help be relax after work one day and a 1% chance that will ruin my life and I'll catch myself unironically saying "believe it!" years later, and I just can't take that chance. I have too many people depending on me.

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Anonymous says

i see you are also from Utah. do you have a favorite swig menu item

No. I've never actually been into a Swig. There were a few soda shops back in AZ, but I never really got them either - I'm still not sure how a gummy shark in a blue soda is supposed to make it taste better.

My poison is generally gas station stuff. Slurpees are amazing, and I also like their little pickled sausage snack things. Probably literal poison, but they call to me.

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Anonymous says

four more messages in my head. four more tests of sanity.

hm. troubling. hope you pass.

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Anonymous says

yooo “fireflies infinity mirror room” mention!!! i lived in Tempe for a few years…one time i was making my way down the escalator from the PHX skytrain and there was a group of like 20-30 Mormons (?) at the base of the escalator waiting there to welcome out-of-state Mormons to some sort of Mormon convention in…well, Mesa, presumably? google is now telling me it may have been for the Easter pageant.

That does sound likely. My grandpa was actually in charge of the easter pageant for a few years down there - I actually broke my arm on the little pony Mary rides to Bethlehem. I was trying to keep my little brother and sister on it by using my arms as a seatbelt, but when they fell off anyway, I just had to kids land on my arm from 6 foot drop and got blessed me with a third elbow. I had some crazy ideas on how to become a professional baseball player with it, but my dad insisted we go to the hospital to do drugs, and when I woke up they fixed the damn thing. Could've gone pro.

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@synapticwanderer says

hello! just wanted to say I'm a big fan, your stories make me laugh and sometimes cry and sometimes both, sometimes at once. when my partner asks me what I'm laughing so hard at I read them to them, and sometimes I just go read them to them anyway. thank you for sharing your delightful way with words with us, and I hope you don't mind that I've got notifications on for your posts (you and I think three other writers at the moment) anyway, have a great day!

I don't mind! I hope I haven't ruined that privilege, actually, I shitpost more than most people think. I like mixing happy and sad as well as silly and earnest. But. Yes. A lot of shitposts.

Anyway, thank you for the comment! Happy trails.

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@funnynamedottxt says

I kept hearing about your wrestling post, and then I saw the word “bisexual” when you were talking about it, so, needless to say, I sought it out immediately.

And, while this isn’t technically part of the actual post, in that reblog where you were talking to that one dude about sexism and societal issues and shit, you made some pussy joke about Lake Michigan and that may just be the best thing I’ve read all week.

Sorry about the run on sentence btw, I know it probably deeply hurts the writer in you, but I find it funny and am too lazy to self-censor sooooo

I'm glad you had a good time reading it. I don't know which gender I'd imagine the great lakes as to be honest. I just know that their thing with Michigan is beautiful and would be very distracting should I ever become an astronaut. I don't want to make fun of people for wanting a better world, and I would actually say I did a botch job on my response. Didn't realize it until several hundred people got mad at me. I know I write well, and the catch .22 of that is that people assume that my ability to read the room is probably higher than it is.

Anyway. I don't fault them for getting mad. Not my finest hour.

And I'm not a snob about run on sentences by the way. English teachers want to make rules about how you write and rules to follow, but that's because they need to grade by rubrics for it to be fair. It turns an art form into something mechanical though. Just make it natural and the rest comes after.

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@00x7 says

Hi. I hope you're doing well.

I had read your wrestling story. I had not laughed so hard in a great many years. I thank you for this, though I am also sympathetic to your misfortunes.

There was enough going on that I was naturally curious if you were or are Mormon, a curiosity born from being someone who grew up as such myself (something that being queer doesn't really bump up nicely against, though you hardly would need to hear such a thing from me), and which visiting your blog quickly answered for me.

Of course, scrolling down for two seconds immediately had me realize that you were also the kid with the grandpa and the worms. I had read the worm story before, but visiting somewhere and realizing it was you was a nearly transcendent experience. My third eye was rather forcibly opened. What a storied life you have had.

Anyway, as an amateur writer, I'm very happy to have found your blog. We don't know eachother, but your words resonate with me.

Whenever you read this, I hope you have a good one. Thank you.

Oh! That's my favorite thing - when people like two different stories with very different tones. It's kind of a would you love me if I wasn't beautiful sort of question - would you like my writing if it wasn't purely silly? And it makes me happy when the answer is yes.

I actually wandered through your blog to try and find your writing, but I didn't have much luck. I'd love to see some, if you're willing. Send me a link if you keep it on another platform. I couldn't do a critique if I wanted to - all my writing knowledge is just gut level stuff that I don't know how to share - but it's just a fun way to know people. And sometimes, I see a style and I go ah, I can pick a few shiny bits off this and wear them around.

---

@turtletotem says Your bio says to tell you if we write, so, new follower here, and i write! Lots of fanfic (links in bio) and also original fiction under Shelly Greene and Elizabeth Belyeu (both on Amazon). Feel free to check it out, but I won’t take it personal if you don’t, lol.

I checked your pages on AO3 for this, and alas - No snippets for me first. You write books and novels, which is something I've always aspired towards, and never really suceeded at. I had this view when I started writing short stories that I'd eventually writer longer stories and serials and in fact I just got better at writing short stories. Which isn't much of a tragedy, actually, but it's a road I haven't really moved forward on yet. Writer to writer.

As a reader, I already have several books I've promised to read people. If you have any shorter works (less than 5k words?) lob them my way though! c

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Anonymous says

Just read your post about Atlas Shrugged (my condolences, comrade) and I must, simply MUST ask if you've ever heard of The Cobra Commander Dialogues? It asks the very important question "what if Cobra Commander was there and found this all at best inane and stupid, and at worst it offended his villainous sensibilities?" As someone who hasn't read the book OR watched the cartoon I found it very entertaining!

I just took a peeksies at those - they're beautiful. Dialogue is a great weakness of mine, and it is hard not to be a little envious of this writer. Thanks for sharing this with me.

For the curious

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Anonymous says

Your story about the breakup and the olives and the Slim Jim's and your dad made me cry -- not like, tear up, but an actual good cry for a couple minutes. I don't totally know why I reacted like that but I definitely felt better in some way afterwards. So, thanks. I think I'm gonna remember that story for the rest of my life.

The story stuck with me both because everyone involved was good. My ex's dad, the neighbor, my dad - everyone was doing their best. And it was true, wasn't it? Brains are good at remembering bad things. It's a breakup. And it hurt like hell. But the pain of that memory carries with it this feeling well, even when things suck, people don't. I also liked this view of my dad parenting so consciously. It wasn't a background thing to him. He thought a lot about what he was doing, and what he was saying, and how he was treating me. I owe him big for that.

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Anonymous says

What did you do with the left shoes after your date?

So, I think teenagers like being able to convey fuck you, I do what I want through their clothes. There are punk scenes for that, and goth, and other things. My way of doing that was just dressing aggressively badly. Mismatched plaids and sports jackets meant for people half my height and twice my width, purchased from goodwill, and basketball shorts mixed with knee high socks and on and on. That was part of my teenage rebellion.

Anyway, I added the shoes in and just wore mismatching shoes to make the outfit worse, both because it was a fashion crime, and because it was a litltle inside joke with my friends who knew the story. I wound up losing them over the years because I would use the left sets as makeshift projectiles.

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@galapagos-spinch says

I just wanted to compliment you on your story about wrestling a girl in middle school, you're a fantastic writer

Thanks. I have some regrets about that story, but it was fun to write, and it from a craft standpoint, i am proud of it. I appreciate the comment. :)

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Anonymous says

equality is when young boys aren't allowed physical boundaries i guess

Eesh. We're getting to wrestling asks. Look, when we all signed up for wrestling, we signed up to wrestle girls. It's part of the sport. If your boundary is to not wrestle girls, the way you maintain it is by not signing up for wrestling. The point of my response, which I did not convey clearly enough, was to ask for forgiveness for failure. A middle school boy falling short of the right thing is different from a middle school boy seeking to do the wrong thing, and as a bar, it's...

It's the kind of thing I'd hope people would go, Well, they're shits, but I can't hate them over it. Don't defend us as having done the right thing - we did not. Just, have some grace for the weakness of teens. They're still growing, and if you put too much pressure on them, they'll crumble. And we crumbled.

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Anonymous says

Hey there! Sorry, not actually a question, just wanted to say I've seen posts of yours reblogged before on occasion and I finally started following you because you're a gifted storyteller and your stories are hilarious, poignant, or both!

Oh! A relief. This is so nice. Thank you. Hopefully you read this. Maybe I should turn anonymous asks off or something going forward if I set myself on doing more of these super-bus replies.

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Anonymous says

i am crying with laughter at your stories. the way you tell them is perfect, please never stop

I'll try. I had a several month period of no writing after burning out on HFY. Wasn't sure how to make a genre change. I'll probably have more periods of quiet like that, but to be honest, my writing is probably my favorite thing that I do. I like engineering, and I'm pretty good at it, but I love this, and I am very good at it, and in periods where I don't write it feels almost painful.

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@auronlu says

just sending you some gentle love from an older queer person.

My parents moved to Utah after I went to grad school. I am eternally grateful that my dad turned down that promotion the first time, when I was about to enter high school, because I didn't want to lose my friends and move to Utah and go to school there in the 80s.

So I escaped, but I've seen a little bit of what you had to go through and I've heard from some of my mom's friends that she's made there how hard it is when you don't conform. I'm glad you were able to escape and that you have your own life now.

I bet that girl remembers you and that when these topics come up, she's not as willing to throw people like us under the bus without question.

you did the best you could in a very difficult situation, and by being you, you helped some of the next generation realize the lines they're told about queer people may not be true.

There may have been a closeted or questioning kid in that class, reassured by your example or simple refusal to show prejudice. you don't know what positive impact you had on those kids, but you went in with the best intentions you could and I have a feeling you did more good than you know.

take care and have a good life

( note: my main blog is actuslly @sepdet )

This is actually one of the earliest asks that I didn't want to answer because I didn't want to lose it. For anyone else looking, they're talking about a story I told about teaching primary as a Mormon.

I hope she does. I don't think anyone in the ward ever actually knew I was bi - I kept that very close to my chest. Even after I left. The kids certainly didn't. But they knew that I loved them very much, and they apparently felt strongly that I was a good person. I think the lesson I gave them was that a person can leave the church and still be good. I hope that serves them well.

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@karmaajr says

UR A FUNNY GUY 🫵

aw yissssss

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@abisexualfrog says

Hello, I just wanted to say that I really like your stories and the way you write, your style

Sometimes I’m in a bad mood and then I go read a few of your stories -I especially like the ones at your work- and it cheers me up because of how funny it is. (The fridge story? So good)(oh and the water balloon and and and… endless)

Im not super good at compliment because well English isn’t my first language and all that but I figured I could still tell you, can’t hurt.

So yeah I really really enjoy your writing!! It’s so good!

And not just the stories of things that happened to you, the other ones too, they are also very good

This is another one of the ones I kept because I didn't want to lose it.

Thank you for reading my stories. Your english is fantastic. And it is rare to get comments on my old fictional sci-fi pieces - those were kind of my baby's-first-steps. If you read those you are in deep, and I am incredibly touched.

I'd hug you if I could.

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@rockinhand says

the red bun on those burgers was actually dyed via Beets. i tried it when it was around and it was unremarkable

I know what this is referring to. Surprisingly. But I will leave it be and just enjoy have this remain esoteric bordering on arcane.

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@newkittypoom says

i saw your reblog on that falin fanart and i was like "wait. this is the 28 eggs snake guy?" and i came from the post about your wrasslin days and i saw you answer an ask about being ex-mormon and well. im definitely following the blog for your writing. thanks for sharing these stories!

thanks for commenting! It's flattering to get recognized online. Means my writing voice is distinct. Got a little niche and I'm thrivin' in it.

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Anonymous says

I'm sure someone must have pointed this out by now, but you weren't dating just because she thought you were dating. If that wasn't the kind of relationship you thought you were in, you weren't dating. She was just being presumptuous. You didn't "accidentally date" someone. You can't. Dating is a mutual, consensual thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Phrasing and all.

@nbspacegay says

(1)

Hi I read your dating stories they are hilarious. I am spiritually holding hands with you because I too am terrible at dating. I accidentally pterodactyl screamed at my boyfriend when he told me he loved me once. I did also love him. I just panicked, screamed and then quite literally sprinted away. I also did not have the excuse of being in high school because I was in university.

(2)

if you so choose you can publish that last ask, i sent it becuase i thought you and your followers might find it funny

(3)

also sorry for sending you three messages like a lunatic, but also feel free to ignore it

I haven't been ignoring this, it just got buried and then I panicked and it has been crushing me like an ancient marsh, squeezing out all my peaty-bits until all that was left was an ultra-flamable bed of hydrocarbons.

Pterodactyl screaming at your boyfriend is a power move. You should do it more often. I am going to answer more questions that way. I had a customer with a masters in geology ask me why I could not provide their specified sample rate, sample times, and sample counts, and I had to explain to them that you can actually only pick two of those numbers, and the third just happens, and that the numbers they gave me did not work that way. It's like saying "I need to drive 50 miles, and I want to drive at 15 mph for two hours." I'm like, yo, go faster, or drive longer, but you have given me a multiplication problem that does not work. And they kept arguing with me, despite the actuall oscilloscope screen telling them, hey, bozo, that math does not math, and I kept trying to reason with them, when in fact I should have just pterodactyl screamed.

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Anonymous says

When I saw your blog title my first thought was that it's a reference to psalm 137 (it's on my mind since it was just tisha b'av) and was wondering why a nonjew would do that, but then I realized you're a fan of Babylon so it's probably a reference to that. And then I googled it and apparently its also a song. So which one/which combination are you referencing?

Also your blind date story was a fascinating read, it made me laugh. Very impressed by your chutzpah

Oh nvm, saw that you answered the above in another ask, feel free to ignore

No, I totally get it. Mormonism robbed and scrambled the iconography of a lot of religions, but the two it yoinked the most from are the Masons and the Jews. Like, it is my culture now, but I will acknowledge that my culture is what would happen if you asked a 14 year old conman from NY to skin your culture and wear it. I can't imagine how weird it must be to hear us talk.

Glad to have you approval on the blind date story though. That was a nightmare.

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@conkreetmonkey says

Personally I think you should do the egg thing again just for the hell of it. I honestly would because you made it sound fun, but eggs be expensive around these parts

My budget is a liiiiittle bit tight for the next month because my wife is doing occupational therapy, but there's a grocery store nearby that sells quail eggs, and to celebrate her finishing that, I am going to be a dozen and shotgun those bad boys. Hell yeah.

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Anonymous says

bulking must be so easy if you can effortlessly consume 15 raw eggs

No, for two reasons.

The first is that it was not effortless. It was effortful. I had to sweat to get them down. I had to fight them into me. I have a very vivid memory of finishing the eggs, and then leaning over to tie my shoe, and feel the eggs start to actually tip out of me, not even as like, puking, but like emptying water out of a boot. I actually had to sit for a half hour after that for the eggs to actually stay.

The second reason is that eating is easy for me, but gaining muscle mass is not. If I work out like crazy and lift weights, I get very wirey, but I never actually get big. I tried bulking one time, and my muscles stayed the same size while the 20 pounds I gained just went right to my belly and I looked like a grape on a toothpick. Very wild experience. Made my peace with being a skinny nerd.

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Anonymous says

just letting you know that you can sterilise raw eggs by keeping them at 130°F for a few hours, you can do this with a sous vide and eat them with no salmonella concerns

I love tumblr so much but all the people that read a story about some idiot eating 15 raw eggs on an impulse and then went ah, yes, this man clearly owns a sous vide machine and is willing to use it are crazier than I am. Get some realistic expecations of the world. Know your audience. You are setting your bar too high, and will find yourself endlessly disappointed. Stop it. This is why left leaning people are so fucking sad. They read the egg story and think they can solve my life with a sous vide, instead of reading the egg story and realizing that there is nothing in this world that could possibly save my from myself. I am not a stupid person. I am a highly motivated clever person who enjoys doing stupid things. There's no stopping that.

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@brambledboneyards says

Hey OP I just wanted to let you know I was informed when I was younger that farm fresh eggs will not give you salmonella. I would recommend fact checking this, but if it does remain true I hope you can date the cravings once more

This is actually good advice. I know several people who own chickens down here. Bless you.

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@queerdo-mcjewface

Some stores sell pasteurized eggs for recipes that require raw or undercooked eggs

Alas, they only sell egg whites down here, which are flavorless. I want the whole egg experience. The slime, the yolk, the cracking open - I appreciate the advice, but no, it's just not visceral enough.

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@decentmonster says

you'd probably love quail shooters tbh, you can get them at most sushi restaurants and theyre served raw and are really good (also safe to eat)

Also farm-fresh eggs are less likely to have salmonella!!

Two months time, I will eat a dozen raw quail eggs.

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Anonymous says

I want you to know the egg story is literally one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. I laughed so hard I woke up my husband

I think that was the first little life-short-story thing I posted. Maybe? I'm glad you had fun reading it.

#babylon-lore #there are like 40 asks in this #it took me three hours to answer all of them #BUT I DID #and i love you all #and if you are tagged in this and dont want to read the whole thing just control-f search your username and you'll be fine

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thefallennightmare · 1 year ago

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Rest-Nick Folio

Pairings: Nick Folio x Reader

Warnings: maybe a swear or two? fluff, lots of it.

Summary: Reader plans a little rest and relaxation weekend away with Nick after a five-weeklong tour.

Authors Note: Enjoy this cute ass one-shot filled with so much fluff it'll make your teeth rot.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Nick's knee bounced with agitation or excitement.

I wasn't sure.

With a crooked smile, I shook my head. "I told you it's a surprise."

The cab pulled to a stop in front of the busy airport and while Nick grabbed our bags from the trunk; I double-checked our flight reservations along with our bed-and-breakfast reservation. Our flight was scheduled to leave on time, and we would land an hour before check in.

Perfect.

I pocketed my phone then looked over to Nick, who was walking over to me while carrying both of our bags. I offered to carry my own, but he smacked my hand away.

"Three years later and you still try to carry your own bags," he chuckled.

I sighed playfully. "I'm just trying to lighten your load, Nick. You've been working so hard the last few weeks and you only got back last night from tour."

The sounds of planes taking off over head echoed loudly around us as people maneuvered their way throughout the crowds, trying to make their own flights.

With his bag slung over his shoulder and pulling mine behind him, Nick laced our fingers together and we walked into the airport as I led us towards our gate.

"I was fine staying home with you, sweetheart. But you woke me up at five this morning saying you were taking me somewhere," Nick finished with a yawn.

Guilt pulled at my heart seeing how tired he was. Bad Omens finished their five-week-long tour last night in Los Angeles so thankfully, Nick didn't have a long travel day back home but even with him coming home at 2 this morning, I still had to wake him up early so we could make our 10 am flight.

Yesterday when I showed up to the venue for his show, that was the first time in five weeks that I'd seen him. We'd been together for the last three years so I was there from the beginning when Bad Omens were playing the small stages at Warped Tour to now watching them play in sold out venues for the last two tours. Ever since they blew up on Tik Tok and gained such an immense following, all the guy had been working tirelessly to be the best they could for their fans. Touring, writing music, or trying to get in the studio to record. They hadn't had more than a few days off where they weren't doing some kind of work so to say the deserve all the success is an understatement.

To say that Nick deserves this week away I had planned for us was also an understatement.

I also planned that this trip was a strict 'no work vacation,' and I sent a text in the group chat that I created of Noah, Ruffilo, and Jolly to let them know. While Ruffilo and Jolly wished us fun on our vacation, Noah told us all the cons of where we were vacationing too.

You know it rains like all the time in Washington, right? How is Nick going to ride a motorcycle or fish?

It's October, it's probably cold as hell. Why don't you guys go somewhere warm, I'm sure Nick would love to see you in that red bikini.

You sure you don't want us to come with? We could make it a Bad Omens get away and get some time in to write.

I swore my eyes rolled so far to the back of my head; I was sure they'd get stuck. Noah, always the cheeky one. I replied to him saying it was a strict no work vacation with only Nick and I and I'd left the red bikini back home.

"I'm sorry for waking you up so early but I wanted to make sure we'd make our flight," I defended with a slight pout.

Seeing how long the check in line was, I came to a slow halt and checked my watch. It was only 7:30 in the morning which meant we had plenty of time. Nick could tell I was a tad agitated so his thumb began tracing circles on the back of my hand as he held it.

"Can I at least have a hint where we're going?" He asked while bouncing on the soles of his shoes.

Fuck, he looked so good with his bottom lip pouted out like that. It'd been so long since we had sex that I was nearly crawling out of my skin wanting a taste of him. It was hard enough keeping myself off of him in public so when he took off his hat to shake out his hair then place it back on backwards, I nearly moaned into a puddled mess which Nick simply winked in response too.

"You know," I brushed the imaginary lint away from his shirt, "We're on vacation. You don't need to wear a Bad Omens shirt. This is supposed to be a work free trip."

Nick shrugged. "It's comfy."

The line for check in slowly moved up a few paces and when we came to a standstill again, I wrapped myself around him, not giving a shit about PDA.

"I've missed you."

"I missed you too, sweetheart," Nick mused while pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I wish you could have came with this tour."

I pressed my cheek to his chest, breathing him in. "Me too but there was no way my boss would let me take that long off. It was hard enough getting this week off."

We moved up another few steps before coming to another standstill. Since we had plenty of time before takeoff, I wasn't too worried with how long it was taking for check in.

Nick pulled me closer into his chest. "You should quit. I make enough to support the both of us and this way you can come on the Europe leg of the tour in a few weeks."

As tempting as the offer sounded, I was thankful I didn't have to give my answer because the line moved once again. I was about to detach myself from him to walk but Nick held tighter to his grip around my shoulder and walked with me. My hand slipped from his side over to the pocket of his jacket but quickly, Nick shifted which made his arm fall from around me.

I raised a brow. "Jumpy, aren't we?"

He cleared his throat before a smile spread to his lips. "I'm sorry, you scared me that's all."

My eyes narrowed, not believing a word he said, but choosing to ignore his weirdness I turned my attention towards the TSA lady as she began our check-in. Thirty minutes later, Nick and I were sitting in the seats near our gate, me staring out the large window towards the runway and Nick typing feverishly on his phone.

"What's Noah saying?" I didn't bother to ask who he was texting because I already knew it was Noah.

Nick turned off the screen then pocketed his phone. "He wanted to make sure we made it to the airport."

Bullshit.

Something was weird with Nick since the incident with me reaching over the pocket of his jacket. Here I was hiding this secret vacation all the while he was hiding something from me.

"Right," I muttered, leaning far back into my seat.

He let out a long breath and linked our fingers together, his thumb brushing across the skin of my hand, and the gentle touch made me rest my head against his shoulder. I felt every breath in and out he took, head rising and falling, and Nick tilted up my chin towards him so he could capture my lips in a kiss. It wasn't a full-blown make-out session, but deep enough to make my head spin and heart flutter.

"What was that for?" I asked breathlessly.

"I just wanted to kiss you, that's all."

By now, more people arrived at the gate, building a slight crowd, and inevitably, someone would notice Nick; someone always did. It wasn't like we were hiding our relationship but Nick never publicly made it known to everyone on the internet we were dating. Pictures of us filtered all throughout the web and people made their own assumptions, as they always did. I didn't mind if Nick kept our relationship on the down low because that meant we could enjoy the quietness of our relationship for a day longer.

"Someone might notice," I jokingly teased.

Nick hummed before leaving another kiss on my lips. "Let them."

I giggled into his lips and cupped his cheek as we pulled away. "I'm still not telling you where we're going."

Somehow, I kept it hidden what our destination was even at the gate because Nick seemed to be preoccupied with something else.

With a pout on his lips, he let me settle back into him by linking our hands back together.

Six days later and I was exhausted.

Nick was surprised and very ecstatic that I planned a vacation in Washington State. We hiked a few of the national parks; he fished almost every day, and we ended each night with a motorcycle ride, one we rented for the week. The weather was beautiful but not quite warm enough for that red bikini. When we weren't out doing things, Nick and I were laid up in bed at the bed-and-breakfast doing other things. Today was our last day, and I was more than ready to spend it in bed, continuing to do those other things, but Nick had other plans.

"Can you tell me where we're going?" I begged as I held onto his arm.

He lead me from the car up towards the forest trail, grinning from ear to ear. "Oh, how the tables have turned."

Rolling my eyes, I watched as the setting sun cast us in an orange glow and marveled at how gorgeous Nick looked tonight. He wore a simple black shirt with jeans to match and his hair was slicked back. A bit dressed up for hiking but nonetheless, he was breathtaking.

"This will work," he said while coming to a stop.

I gasped when I stared down over the mountain ledge. Orange, yellow, and brown leaves atop of the trees and a flowing stream down below; the sound creating the perfect background noise to the atmosphere. Everything about the scene was beautiful that I pulled out my phone to snap a few pictures, oblivious to Nick who was standing right behind me.

"Sweetheart?"

"Hm?" I turned on my heels and this time, instead of gasping at the scene, I let out a high-pitched squeal. Nick was kneeling on one knee with a black velvet box in his hand, unopened. Sweat gathered at his brow as he let out a long, shaky breath.

"The last three years have been the most baffling but amazing years. You've stayed by my side through the lowest times of my life and the highest of highs with the band. When I thought we wouldn't make it big, you were there to cheer all of us on during our first show. You were there when we played our first sold-out show, and I hope you'll continue to be there when we win a Grammy."

Tears pooled at my eyes as I covered a hand over my mouth.

"I know being with me hasn't been the easiest sometimes. I'm almost always on the road or with the guys recording but yet, you still welcome me home with loving arms. You're everything I could ever ask for and then some. I truly don't deserve this but I am so thankful you haven't given up on me. You planned this entire weekend away so I can rest and I'm kind of high jacking the rest of the trip but I've been planning this for a long time. I wanted to ask you before I left for the Europe leg."

Nick let out another shaky breath as he opened the box; a black diamond with a gold band catching the light of the setting sun.

"Oh, shit," I muttered.

"I love you so much, Y/N. Will you marry-."

"Fuck yes!" I shouted, not letting him finish.

With his own tears falling over his cheeks, Nick pulled out the ring, and it slid over my finger with ease. I jumped up, wrapping myself around him and crashed my lips onto his. His tongue immediately pushed its way into my mouth, tasting every inch, and my hands scratched and pulled at his hair. I nibbled on his bottom lip as he reluctantly pulled away. Both of us were crying happy tears, me more so than Nick, and he brushed them away with one hand while the other kept me hoisted up in his arms.

"Did the guys know about this?" I asked.

"Yeah, why do you think Noah wanted to tag along?" Nick chuckled.

I gently brushed the hair away from his eyes so I could stare deep into them. "Still want to support me?"

At first, he looked at me with a raised brow but then as he thought back to what he said back in the airport, he eagerly nodded. "Whatever you want, sweetheart, it's yours."

"Well," I kissed his lips tenderly. "Looks like I'm coming to Europe with you."

#nick folio #nick folio x reader #nick folio and reader #bad omens #bad omens x reader #nick folio reader insert #nick folio one shots #nick folio fluff

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fcthots · 1 year ago

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okay maybe nottttt the exact type of jason content you’re writing but i do really just need jason loving a curvy reader so good bc she’s having a bad body dysmorphia day

Ok im going for a more hc approach to this to keep it geared towards a more broad audience as I have to be able to relate to be able to write it. also I rlly just wanted to try out this format lol

ok so its date night and Jason looks fucking HOT

and you really wanna give him a treat. You wanna look good for him!

You want him to look at you and think "Wow! I'm so lucky! I'm so glad I found you."

You try on a dress that you think will look cute

It... doesn’t look like you thought it would

oh well. you'll just try another even though you were really planning on the first one

So you try the next one and that one doesn’t look right either

you try on the third outfit and you're starting to think maybe you're the problem

you know you're late but maybe if you find that outfit, he’ll think you're so pretty that it'll be ok. He'll think you're so beautiful that he'll forgive you. You just have to be pretty enough.

You just have to try to deserve forgiveness. You just have to try to deserve a fraction of all of the amazing love he gives you.

And that's how Jason finds you 30 minutes later, naked on the floor of your apartment surrounded by probably 14 different outfits

He sits down criss-cross next to you

"thought I'd find you in here. I got worried when you didn’t show up at my apartment. thought I had the wrong day at first."

you don’t even respond or look at him. you don’t think you can. you have no excuse

He does it for you. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

You lean up, grab your blanket off the bed, and put it over your entire body, including your face

you hear him sigh and move closer to you before he moves the blanket away from your face

"please tell me? please."

You cave and tell him everything. He sets his jaw and listens.

you finish talking and it takes him a full minute before he speaks.

"We'll circle back to some things later, but I got you a present. I wanted you to wear it tonight. Also got some stuff I thought we could use tonight. You wanna see it?"

You nod your head, more confused than anything else. He comes back in two minutes later with a bag he tosses at you.

You open it

It's pajamas

Not lingerene

Pajamas like a giant shark onesie

you look at what else is in the bag

its a Shrek dvd

He speaks again. "I think we definitely need to watch Shrek tonight. in our matching shark onesies."

You don’t know what to say

but he does

"I'm with you because I love you and I like you. Every inch of you. I think you're smart and funny and amazing. And I also think you're sexy and gorgeous and beautiful. I can't change the way that you think. But will you at least believe me when I say that in my eyes you are the most beautiful woman on the planet?"

You pretend you're not actively crying "I think it would do me some good to watch Shrek"

He laughs and helps you up.

#can you tell I want to rewatch Shrek?#saph’s love letters #jason todd #jason todd x reader #saph’s thots #red hood #red hood x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd x you #jason todd x reader angst #red hood imagine #red hood x reader angst #red hood x you #jason todd angst #angst #anon

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fizzingwizard · 2 years ago

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Randomly visited reddit and saw this:

My first thought: it's an incel pretending to be a woman, because what modern woman thinks she's spoiled milk a 30??? (Aside from also trashing her girl friends - girl, get better friends!) But their profile doesn't seem weird in any way, so, I guess there are some people out there who really somehow believe youth ends at 29. Even some who have aged past it.

It's not even true that all 30 year olds are less beautiful than they were at 20. People age in different ways at at different rates: yeah, your likelihood of getting wrinkles and gray hairs is only ever going to go up. But some people don't have their style figured out in their twenties - some people turn thirty and freaking bloom. And you can't call that a late bloomer. 40 isn't a late bloomer either! 20 is nice but it's not the heaven on earth it's cracked up to be, and 30 is just getting started.

Idk about the rest of you but you know those posts about how embarrassing it is to look back on 14? Yeah, related to those when I was 20. Now I've passed the big 3-0, and guess what - I think 20 year old me was so silly lol. So insecure, so afraid to make mistakes, so resistant to change. I enjoyed my twenties, but my early thirties have so far been way better: I'm more confident, less self-involved, and I find happiness so much more easily than I did back when I thought everything I did had to matter So Damn Much. And if you think that doesn't relate to being attractive: confidence is 90% of it. Just walk up and smile. A confident, happy person always attracts others even if they're just average-looking.

Also for people who like men, don't forget: men in their 30s usually aren't quite the energizer bunnies they were in their 20s when it comes to ~sexy times~ The 20-year-old stud who insisted he could go for a roll multiple times a day, every day, is probably much less gung ho at 30. And also more forward-thinking, and less amaaaaazed by omg boobies!!! When you're young, half the excitement is just how new everything is. It gets less intense, thank goodness. (But it's still hot!)

This post just totally rubbed me the wrong way. It read as a still young woman anxiously wringing her hands in apology for having the audacity to be single at... 30?? And apparently not trusting women to have good advice about dating at 30 (so no point in me responding to her, lol), but perfectly comfortable kissing up to incel mindsets such as "women past 25 should accept that they're sloppy seconds" etc. "Value as a partner" do you have intrinsic worth as a human being?? Yes??? Then your value does NOT degrade. Yeah, you might have gray hair, the horror, so unsexy (I've had very visible grays since I was 23 and been dyeing since 26 lmao). Doesn't mean you're less hot than some 20 year old who doesn't know what she's doing. Doesn't mean it'll be at all hard to find a partner who will love you warts and all. Do you have this same expectation of men? Are you gonna start dating a 30 year old dude and then complain that he gets tired more quickly than a 20 year old would?? Is he less sexy just because he doesn't party all night and drink twice his weight without effect? Overrated overrated overrated!

My parents divorced in their 60s. My mom's got a new boyfriend who takes her dancing under the full moon. They're living their best lives way past their so-called "prime" and no, that is not rare - it's just a choice. If you view yourself as having some expiration date, you're not gonna do anything to improve your happiness once you're past it. Don't let incels or misogyny or whatever convince you your perfectly wholesome milk has gone bad, because that is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

ETA: Well, while I was working this got 150 notes, and although that's barely a drop in the bucket, it's still a lot more than my rants usually get (about 2 lol). So I just want to clarify a couple things so I stop getting comments about them.

This post was from the askmen subreddit. I left that out, feeling "reddit" was context enough, but I guess the implications may not have been obvious, especially to tumblr users who don't also use reddit. Askmen isn't a horrible place (a number of the responders pointed out why they prefer older women to younger ones), but many of its members have a pretty incel-adjacent vibe. Plus there are a number of women (real or not) who post there, many of whom have a similar brown-nosey "unlike those radical feminists, I'm a woman who knows her place" attitude.

It's fine to suggest the OP may have internalized misogyny from being abused - but it's not a given, as nothing in the post is a definite indication of abuse by itself. Big kudos for the compassion - just keep in mind that my response was about general attitudes towards dating post-twenties and not about abuse victims.

To the person who thinks a relationship of six years makes a difference somehow?: You seem to have interpreted my post as an attack on people who feel insecure about returning to dating after a breakup. But I think it's clearly nothing to do with that. Of course it is natural to have anxieties about being single after so long, but nowhere in this post was that denied or mocked. Whether you've been together one year or six, this post would always be weird - those natural anxieties don't make misogynistic mindsets about decrepit 30-year-old women any less gross. If you had decided to write a reaction to the OP's post, perhaps you would have chosen to center it on the effects of coming off a long term relationship, and I'm sure it'd be insightful. However, I am not you, and I chose to react to the attitudes around aging in relationships reflected in the post.

#rant

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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WIBTA if I confronted my boyfriend about not feeling praised enough? Over dumb D&D shit?

Background - I (20s F) live with my boyfriend (30s M) and things are usually great. He's always been supportive, emotionally intelligent and caring and we've had no major problems. We met via D&D several years ago so it's pretty important to both of us, and I'm a DM. Before we met, he was involved in a years-long campaign with some friends and is generally more experienced in D&D than me (I've been DMing around 5 years, he's probably closer to 10).

The current campaign that I'm running is something I'm really proud of. It's a mid-length campaign and I made the story myself (I typically plan mine to be 6-8ish months to avoid things fizzling out) and I've tried really hard to step up my writing and story planning for this one.

I've put in a LOT of extra time and effort and have been holding myself to a much higher standard than I usually do. As a DM I get self-conscious over how much time people are spending with me each week, and I want to make sure it's REALLY worthwhile. And because my boyfriend is more experienced in D&D than me, I've been looking to him for feedback and/or praise, as it would mean a lot to me coming from him.

And I've been getting close to nothing. At the end of each session he immediately falls asleep and doesn't talk about it at all. It makes me feel like I'm keeping him up/boring him. So I started asking him things like "hey what did you think about how I handled X" and he'll give a brief response like "yeah it was great" without explaining anything.

He didn't even give much thought into the character he's playing either - for his old campaign he created a HUGE story for his character, background, goals, etc. I know for a fact he's an incredible creative writer and could have come up with something wonderful for this. But he didn't put down anything other than basic character sheet stuff. When I asked him about it, he says he only goes deep into character when it's "long campaigns like my old one" and "too bad a long campaign like that will never happen again. That's D&D at it's best but now we're all adults, and we're too busy to ever do that, half my friends have kids, it'll never happen again and it's so sad" etc etc.

It made me feel like shit - like anything I try to do is a waste of time and pointless compared to this legendary "old campaign". Like it's barely worth staying awake for, like it's some kind of chore he has to sit through every week just because I'm his girlfriend and he's just humoring me.

The other players have been EXTREMELY enthusiastic and supportive - they send me art they make based on the campaign after every session and have contacted me privately to compliment me on certain aspects of the campaign. I want to make it clear that this is NOT something I EXPECT, but moreso I just really really love and appreciate that they do this for me, especially while my boyfriend is kind of leaving a void where I'd want this kind of praise.

Full transparency, one of my worst fears is forcing people to play along with something that I am passionate about, but bores them to tears. I never want to make a big deal over something that means a lot to ME but doesn't mean that much to someone else. So maybe I should just let this go because, at the end of the day, it's just a game? And taking it so seriously makes me an asshole and I should touch grass? I feel like potentially starting a fight over stupid nerd stuff would be pointless on my end. But at the same time, the more we play the more I feel deflated and I really hate feeling that way. I'm not sure what to do tbh.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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crimsonhydrangeavn · 4 months ago

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Hi! I absolutely loved the demo of your game—it was amazing! I'm excited to see more of it. I have two questions: First, how would Garret or Teagan react if they were in a room full of yanderes with y/n? Second, I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but I'm genuinely curious—how long does it usually take to release a new episode? I'm really looking forward to continuing the game, and I appreciate all the hard work you put into it. I hope I'm not rushing anyone, and I'm truly sorry if it comes off that way. Thank you so much for reading!

Thank you so much for your ask! I'll go ahead and answer your second question first before moving onto the first one! lol

I wanted to start off by thanking you for asking your question in a kind and respectful way, I completely understand where you're coming from and I don't take any offense to it what so ever!

I know I really appreciate transparency when it comes to games/ things I'm a fan of, so I want to do what I can to make sure I'm as honest and upfront with you all as possible.

So I went through my logs and did the math. Day 1 took me about 6 months from start to finish and Day 2 took me almost a full year from start to finish. That being said, Day 1 was 11k words and Day 2 was 24.5k words total. So given the fact that Day 2 was more than twice as long as Day 1, I can see why it took double the time as Day 1. (That and I learned how to add animation into Renpy and spent a little over a month going down that rabbit hole and making a few animations for the game. I also spent some time refining Day 1 while working on Day 2 so that probably made the Day 2 release take longer than it would have otherwise)

The reason why it takes as long as it does is because I'm making this game entirely by myself. That includes the script, all of the art assets, the programming, the audio, and not to mention all of the social media, and patreon content.

On top of that I also have a pretty steady stream of freelance work that usually equals to about 30-50 hours a week. I've burnt myself out in the past and I'm trying to keep a sustainable pace where I'm making progress on CHVN but I'm also enjoying life and taking breaks as needed.

That being said, I do post monthly game updates on my patreon to discuss what I've finished that month, what I have left, and what the current word count is. ( ATM it's longer than Day 1 and I still have a lot planned haha)

I also think it's worth mentioning that this is my first game and I'm learning how to do everything from scratch. My background is in the visual arts so programming and audio stuff is completely foreign to me. That being said, I'm stubborn as hell and for better or for worse once I put my mind to something, I'll get it done one way or another.

Hopefully that answers your question! Once I finish up the script portion of Day 3, I can give a better estimate of how long it'll take me, but until then I really have no idea when the actual release date will be.

Now, onto the easier/ fun part of your question! lol

Garret would play nice at first, however he would make sure that he was never more than a step away from your side. He doesn't trust anyone to behave themselves around you, especially if they're anything like him.

Teagan on the other hand would immediately try to get you to leave the room. They don't deal well with competition and would want to remove you from the situation asap. If you refused/ couldn't leave with them, then they would make sure to talk shit about all of the other Yandere's and taint your view of them. While it would put an obvious target on their own back, at least they'd know you wouldn't talk to or go off with them out of your own free will.

Thank you again for all of your support! I really appreciate it and I can only hope that the next update is worth the wait!

#yandere #original character #yandere visual novel #yandere vn #male yandere #ask #crimson hydrangea #yanderes #visual novel #crimson hydrangea vn #teagan conners #garret belmont

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eleighzabeth · 7 months ago

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I've seen a lot of people talking about how Stolas over reacted and jumped the gun with his confession, but no one talking about how, yeah, that was the point.

He was expecting to be turned down. He had hope, but when you're depressed and anxious and lack emotional maturity, no amount of hope will help when you feel your expectations to be hurt have been confirmed.

He spent all day thinking about the worst, and he's already been turned down once.

People are far more likely to continue to believe the negative things they feel about themselves, others, and the world around them, then they'll ever believe something that counters that. I've gone on and on in the past about how this is exactly what happens with homophobia and racism in media. And it's far more true when you're fighting the fucked up way your brain is mis-wired.

In Stolas' eyes, at best Blitz avoided responding by deflecting, and at worse he didn't even take him seriously.

Stolas has proven in the past he's terrible at communicating. He couldn't even finish a sentence with Octavia in episode two, and that's when the other person was open and requesting communication. He's spent probably months working this out.

The abuse he went through with Stella, and the way he was raised without communication at all growing up, means he was never taught to read other people. And with Blitz both trying to hide the way he felt, and reacting harshly, meant Stolas couldn't read him at all. All he had were the words Blitz was using. And they were... not great.

"After everything you put me through you pompous, rich asshole!"

"You royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!

And those words were so angry. And yeah, I think Blitz meant them, so it makes perfect sense that Stolas believed him. Stolas is a survivor of emotional and physical abuse and neglect. When you've lived through that, you're gonna believe whatever negative things someone's screamed at you.

Honestly, I'm an adult in my 30's who's pretty self assured and confidant in my relationships, but if someone said something like that to me, I'd probably have the same reaction. I don't think I'd wait for them to apologise, and remove myself from that situation, too. Actually that was a pretty mature thing to do, rather than let that situation continue.

I'm sure it'll turn into a huge thing because they're both idiots, but really when emotions are that high and neither of you are communicating well, taking some time apart to feel your feelings and calm down is a good thing to do. It wasn't communicated properly, but that was a boundary that Stolas employed. "You've expressed very negative things about me, so I'm going to remove myself from this situation."

My feelings and thoughts are still incomplete, and I'll have more to say in the future, but I wanted to talk about what I have thought about. Please be kind in your responses. I won't be engaging with anyone who comes at me with negativity [not meaning you disagree, but that you do so unkindly], and thank you for your time.

#Helluva Boss #Stolas #Full Moon spoilers #Yes I know people may have talked about this but I haven't seen it #So I'm gonna talk about it instead of searching every single post about this episode

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inchidentally · 7 months ago

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I love love love your landoscar (and carlando and dando) deep dives and analysis and in one of them you mentioned how Carlos acts very differently with Charles than he does with Lando and that charlos is its own different topic so I was wondering about your thoughts on their dynamic👀 Would love to read them but no pressure of course!

(these asks are literally from last year and I am soso soooo sorry for taking so long <3<3)

god anon I love all three too even if the multishipping thing is wayyy too uncommon for me to do it out here publicly on my blog anymore!

truly - and this is fully rpf projecting switched off - the Charles/Carlos and Carlos/Lando dynamics are so different and it was so sweet during the Melbourne 2024 celebrations watching Carlos switching between the two aslfhsalfh. bc Carlos literally helped raise Lando from the kid Lando's closest friends and even Zak described as a loner and intensely shy, to someone who could borrow quite a lot from Carlos' persona for himself and even learned a social hobby in golf to integrate him more with other drivers. it's not as 'sweet' per se but even the fact that Lando a while ago was like 'oh I only date Spanish girls' during that golf stream bc Carlos literally helped Lando meet girls (this was before Luisa). straight up he functioned as Lando's F1 and PR social lifeline in a way where Lando was still pretty clingy even up to like late 2022? bc Daniel was another great big alpha personality to do a lot of the heavy lifting like Carlos did but Lando and Daniel are more of a friendship of equals.

but for Carlos, Lando's mostly stayed in that little brother position - even moreso I'd say as Carlos approaches 30 bc his lifestyle now is way more grown-up than Lando's and his approach to his career and racing is vaaaastly different to Lando's. and tbh it's one of many reasons I was glad they didn't stay teammates bc regardless of what fans wanted and PR pushed, that would either not have ended well or it would have had truly excruciating moments (similar to that 'breakup' moment in 2022). I think ultimately they'd always have ended up ok but it's good to not have had to wait and find out how.

I genuinely think it'll only be in retrospect that people learn to appreciate how impressive and cohesive Carlos and Charles' partnership has been bc I only ever see a few people say this. and again, ignoring the whole PR bromance aspect of it, this is in how they have weathered the absolute WORST of everything that could be thrown at a pairing and always come out unified. their fanbases have been at bloody war since day one, the Tifosi have been embroiled in civil war, their own families use multiple platforms to stir up enmity, Ferrari's Borgia-esque culture has directly and indirectly worked to disrupt communication and good will between the two garages. team orders has been Russian roulette every race. the literal racing gods seem to roll the dice when it comes to which of them will be favored and who will be left burning with anger. and even when both suffer equally due to the many forces outside their control, guaranteed everyone but themselves will be trying to somehow pin blame on the other.

a tiny fraction of this amount of drama has been enough to destroy partnerships plenty of times in racing history and even throughout their time as teammates.

AND YET !! every hasty word or outburst is smoothed over within hours or even minutes!

bc the common aortic valve they've mutually decided to share between them has stayed strong, vital and healthy. I cannot wait for their biographies or a docu series bc the amount of obvious communication going on between them fully behind the scenes from absolutely everyone is the only reason they haven't both been locked in a br0cedes degree battle royale. absolutely no one but themselves has wanted them to be harmonious.

and when the most shocking headline probably for a decade happened, they decided the very day after being told (in advance of the public what would turn out to be just a few days) to drive together to Maranello and sign autographs and have photos taken of them in Carlos' car. the rest of us only found out later when the rumors were confirmed that this was a hugely symbolic display of solidarity.

even their intense and fun physicality, when you take the gay chicken aspect of it away, remains in the form of physically finding warmth and steadiness in each other as the only two people who can relate in full detail to the other. they're both your typical super physical European guys with other guys, but even when they're not horsing around there is a comfort and ease in being able to lean close or clap a hand on a shoulder and share closed-eyes embraces.

and that's why Melbourne was a Charles and Carlos affair with little Lando along for it getting his hugs and paternal kisses. when Carlos and Lando looked at each other it was right back to that chummy mischief sparkle in the eye thing they've always had. Lando still inhabits the rosy world of possibility and cresting the height of his career and a vastly different new teammate who is playing a part in that. but when Charles ran over for a private celebration before Carlos had even gotten out of his car - and when they sat together in the cool down room like two bone-weary parents watching TV while Lando buzzed about - and would turn to each other on the podium and lock eyes, it's bc they both get it in exactly the same way. Carlos faces uncertainty but opportunity, Charles faces uncertainty but certain difficulty. all of which was paralleled in Monaco for Charles' win. elation is mixed with grim satisfaction as much as joy.

the relief, the exhaustion, the bitterness of years without the WDC and the long stretches between wins in the back of the throat mixing with the champagne, even their tears of joy this season mixing with the fact that both of them have had tears in their eyes when asked about the end of their partnership - even down to the parallel in each if their wins this year of having a McLaren rugrat scurrying around the edge of drama neither of their pretty young heads has ever experienced even by proximity - both boys already assured by contract and by their performance of steadiness for years to come. the gold of their feelings on podiums hasn't tarnished or worn yet.

as always, the reality of these guys' actual friendships is rarely known until well after retirement. but the fact that Carlos and Charles held something so strong between them that made them reject the much easier option of simply hating each other or just neutrally existing in separate spheres (like so many other partnerships have done) means that mutual respect or mutual agreement or sympathetic personalities - or all three - was their choice, even if it's made their own careers and lives far more complicated and difficult.

#inchreplies #scheduled asks #sorry guys I've got over 100 asks to finally do justice to so I'm scheduling them out to not overload dashes #also I'm sorry if something goes into tags it shouldn't I have no idea what fandom preferences are anymore #charlos lore #for reference

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nowoyas · 6 days ago

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koi no yokan 33: getting over heartbreak with yuu (nishinoya yuu/reader)

First - Prev - Next - M.list 1-30 - M.list 30-60 - Ao3

A/N: here's to moving forward 🥂

Summary: Pick up. Dust off. Move forward.

Warnings and Tags: nothing in particular!

Word Count: ~4600

0: Decide to get over it

Yuu is having a really bad month.

It's reached the point that he's just sort of shuffling through his days. He throws himself into volleyball, ends up with more bruises than is strictly needed. He wants to get mad, but every time he feels it kick up, he sees Mei's scared face and her flinch, and nausea lurches to the surface in its place. In class, he's distracted—he'd really been doing better at paying attention—and with his friends, he's distant.

He comes home from practice, as promised, without running over too late. Mei and Kaede already know, courtesy of Satsuki. He assumes as much, anyway, seeing as the first thing Mei says to him when he drops his bag in the genkan is an awkward, how are you holding up? instead of a welcome back.

Bad. He's holding up bad.

All he really wants is to put a hole in the wall. You'd left at the start of individual practice. In order to avoid you, Yuu had taken his time with cooldown stretches, taken another fifteen minutes in the club room just trying to breathe. He wonders if you'd walked home with Asuka, if he'd rested a hand on your waist and talked to you the whole way, if he'd taken you to your doorstep or split after Sakanoshita. He imagines you smiling at something he said, that same fond, sweet smile you grace Yuu with when you don't think he's paying attention. He imagines you not hiding it. Imagines you happy with him. Are you comfortable with him? Do you let that Asuka see the parts of you that Yuu thought were his? Does he know about your mom, your dad, your ex girlfriend?

He stands there, in the doorway, far too long.

"That bad, huh?" Kaede cringes. "Go wash the wax out of your hair and change into your rattiest t-shirt so I can work on you."

He obeys in tired silence. Comes downstairs with reddened eyes to find that the girls have pulled out the PlayStation. It lingers on a file load screen, no one at the controller. He assumes that's Satsuki's doing—she's disappeared into the kitchen, followed by the scents of popcorn and chocolate chip cookies and bleach. Probably already had her hair done, judging by the cut hair already scattered on the Hair Night Floor Tarp™ and the bleach smell.

Hair night transforms their living room this way—Soba nowhere in sight, locked in one room or another to avoid any unfortunate bleach or hair accidents. Usually, she spends the night meowing herself hoarse, but tonight, she's quiet, like she knows. Last night, she'd clawed the shit out of the leg of the dining room table, and Yuu's litterbox pass had showed a bigger mess than usual. Mei says she's reacting to her environment, that she can tell everyone's been upset and she's stressed. That certain members of the family haven't been around.

For the sake of the floor and ease of cleaning up, Kaede lays a tarp out in the living room, moves around the couches and the coffee table. Brings in a chair from the kitchen to sit in, while her victim sits on the floor in front of her. Later, they'll put it all back as a family—Kaede will pack up her box of ambiguous Hair Stuff, Mei will scrub out the bathroom sink and shower to make sure no chemicals stain anything. Satsuki and Yuu will handle the hair clippings, the tarp. Move the furniture back in place together while Kaede and Mei tell them no, I think it was further left before, and it'll never quite go back the same, and next time, they still won't take a picture before they move everything.

Yuu flops over the armchair. He doesn't remember the last time his shoulders felt so heavy, the last time it felt so hard to talk. At least the inability to focus on anything important is familiar. He watches Mei and Kaede with muted interest—Mei showing Kaede something on her phone, likely a reference photo. Kaede reacting with surprise, then a wicked grin. Probably something drastic, like taking two whole inches off where it sits at her waist.

"Yuu, are you making any big changes this time around, or more of the same?"

He shrugs. "Don't really care."

"Hair therapy's a real thing," Satsuki says, already shoving popcorn in her mouth as she re-emerges. She looks stupid, the foils in her bangs flopping a little as she walks. "I dunno why boys don't bother, but seeing as you're going through some heartbreak shit, you should do something new with it."

"You've never changed your hair in my entire life," he grumbles back.

She shrugs, snatches up the controller. "I've never had my heart broken. Usually, I'm the one who breaks them. Also usually, because people don't fucking listen to me when I tell them I'm not in it for commitment. "

"Satsuki, you know the rules," Kaede interrupts. "No couch until after we wash your hair out."

"Ugh, you're such a bummer. Fine." Satsuki slides off the couch, landing on the tarp-covered floor (a precaution Mom had insisted on) with a thump. "As I was saying, I accept no responsibility for some girl getting her heart broken because she formed expectations that were completely contrary to what I told her I was in it for."

Nausea lurches in his stomach. You tried telling him, didn't you? Was he stupid not to believe you? "Lucky you."

For a moment, Satsuki almost looks competent at the JRPG she's playing. Almost. She comes up on a boss and dies pretty damn quickly, though.⁴⁶

"Are we gonna talk about that?" Mei asks. "Do we hate her now?"

"Yes," Satsuki says.

"No," Yuu corrects.

Satsuki rolls her eyes. "Dude, she spent a month—"

"I know," he snaps. "My problem and my heart, alright? And I say we don't hate her."

"I'm just sayin', you could stand to be a little mad at her."

"You're the one who just said you don't accept responsibility for girls who got their hopes up after you told them otherwise, or whatever. She warned me and I didn't listen. My fault."

"Okay, but you're my brother. I'm on your side by default."

"I'm not asking you to pick sides! I'm actually telling you guys not to do that!"

"Yuu," Kaede interrupts softly. "You're getting worked up. Deep breaths and clench and unclench your fists, like you've been practicing. Satsuki, stop antagonizing him. Yuu says we don't hate her, so we don't, alright?"

A tense moment. Yuu tries his best to breathe, to clench his fists so hard they ache, to release the pent-up energy as he releases his grip. Satsuki's character lets out a dying cry onscreen.

"…fine. Sorry. Can we get the story now, by the way? Nee-san says I should be nicer about the situation, so I'm trying."

He lets out a shaky breath. "She's dating Baseball Asshole."

"Right. Can we get facts I can't get from Hitomi-chan? Or maybe ones that you didn't get from me? They just started dating last night, but you haven't been talking to her, like, all week. Fight predates the relationship."

"Baseball Asshole tried to crash our lunch date. I tried to tell him to fuck off, and he did, but then she got mad at me and told me not to overstep with her friends."

"And then she stopped talking to you?" Mei asks. Kaede is taking off… a lot of her hair.

He groans. "It's more that I stopped talking to her. I didn't want to apologize."

Kaede's eyes burn straight through to his soul. Now that he's said it out loud, he just feels like an asshole. "Yuu. You're better than that."

"I know! I just—she—I didn't want to apologize for trying to tell her about a complete shithead who had his sights on her, and maybe usually I'd just suck it up and do it or we'd have one real fight and I'd get loud and then we'd make up and it'd be done, but I just keep thinking about the asshole, and I don't want to be him, and every time I start getting angry I just get scared, and I—I couldn't calm down long enough to talk to her."

Kaede lets out an annoyed grunt. "See, I was going to give you this whole big sisterly talk about how it's okay if this whole incident is a dealbreaker for you and obviously the two of you being exclusive was sort of implied, but now I'm just trying to hold back on lecturing you when you're already heartbroken."

"You don't gotta tell me. I get it. Besides, we were actually talking about that before I fucked up. Baseball Asshole interrupted me before I could tell her that actually, I wasn't going to be dating or chasing anyone else while trying to get her to marry me and she should just go out with me to make it easier."

Mei sighs. "She told Satsuki and I once that she'd marry you if you hit a thousand no matter what. Even if it meant breaking up with a guy to uphold her end of the bet."

He flinches. "She was saying something like that to me, too."

Satsuki lets out a sigh of her own. "She told me today that she didn't know why she was dating him. Something about how anyone short of an actual therapist wouldn't be able to figure out what the fuck—"

"—language, Satsuki—"

"—what the fuck!—her problem was. Nee-san, don't ride my ass about language when you're letting Yuu say whatever he wants."

Kaede huffs, but doesn't press it. Satsuki snatches a cookie off the plate, holds it up just short of Yuu's face. He doesn't really feel like cookies right now, but she rarely takes no for an answer, so…

"Oh, and she asked me to look after you and said that it was, quote, safer like this. She's determined not to leave Asuka, but she also said it'd destroy her if the two of you dated and it didn't work out."

He chokes on the cookie, thumps his chest firmly. His heart is racing in his throat. "She what?"

Satsuki just shrugs. "I don't know what her deal is, but it sounds like she's determined to protect the both of you by making you both miserable."

The timer interrupts his thought. Satsuki hops up, leaving the popcorn bowl aside. "Gotta go shower this shit out. Don't do anything crazy, 'kay, Yuu? Maybe you'll have better luck than I am with beating this blond asshole up."

In her absence, Kaede and Mei fill the space. Yuu gets up to take the controller and suffer a few more deaths to this boss for Satsuki.

"What am I even supposed to do with that?" he asks as the tears spring up. "She doesn't want to hear from me. She won't even look at me at practice anymore, and I don't blame her. Every time I try to talk to her, I freeze up because I just think about Baseball Asshole and all the dirt Satsuki has on him, and he's gonna hurt her, and then I get more pissed off, and—"

He dies quite unceremoniously. He casts the controller aside and presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, hard enough to hurt a little.

"You're scared."

"And now she's dating the guy, and if I start hitting her with all this stuff about how his last two girlfriends were at the same time, she's just gonna get angrier at me. I keep thinking that—that she's gonna turn around and say she's sorry, this was just one of her tests and she never wanted to hurt me, and she's gonna knock like fifty proposals off what I still need for the trouble so I can tell her I'll accept her apology if she goes on a date with me or something."

"Alright, Mei, you're all set. How do you feel?"

Mei sucks in a breath as she looks into the mirror Kaede's provided. She's gone to a bob, for some reason, an actual pile of hair surrounding her. It kinda suits her. "Panicky."

"Threat level?"

"Two. It looks great, I just also can't believe I actually did that."

"You look good! Yuu, you're up. Come sit."

He sits on the floor in front of Kaede, amid the growing pile of hair on the floor, like Kaede hasn't just completely brushed off his spiral. Mei takes her place on the couch to stare at herself in the hand mirror and suppress a minor panic attack.

"Final chance. Are we doing anything different from usual?"

He shakes his head.

"So are you gonna back down?"

"Huh?"

"From [name]-chan. You want her to break up with him and come running back to you. That's not gonna happen if you keep sitting here feeling sorry for yourself."

"What am I supposed to do? Beat the shit out of her boyfriend?"

Kaede laughs. "No, but you can be there for her, and apologize for overstepping and cutting her off for a week, and keep being her friend. She's gonna need one if Satsuki's intel holds any weight. You can pick yourself up and try to be happy and try to move on. You can tell her to get her ass over here for dinner this week before Okaa-san breaks down her door to check on her. If and when the guy hurts her, with her permission, then you can beat the shit out of him."

"Need to—to breathe and recover first, I think."

"Why?"

"So I don't say all the wrong shit and basically make sure she never comes back to me."

"So we'll do a little research. Get you through the heartbreak without forgetting her, if that's what you want to do."

"Maybe I'll text the guys," Yuu sighs. "We don't have practice tomorrow. Feel like I need their help in figuring this out."

"You do that, and stop tilting your head back—"

Satsuki returns, takes over the PlayStation. Yuu spends the time that Kaede's working on his hair watching Satsuki finally defeat that fucking boss. When the time comes to rinse and wash, he spends too long in the shower—washing out the bleach, scrubbing his skin too hard, hoping to wash away all of it and everything, to come out someone new, someone who isn't aching at the thought of you.

1: Start a journal

The way Yuu sees it, once he's decided to pick himself up and source from the internet and his family, there's a few ways to get over heartbreak. Many of them, he has to throw out—his goal isn't to get over you, only the hurt. He still believes he doesn't have to do both.

There's a few, at least, that are decent even for getting through the million emotions he's dealing with, which is how he finds himself in Mei's room after dinner, watching her rifle through stacks of notebooks.

"You don't have to journal every day," Mei tells him. "Whenever you feel like it is fine, though I find that making an effort to do it every day really helps me sort through my feelings—ah! Here it is!" She produces a fine enough journal—sleek, black, that fake leather for the cover that feels nice enough to the touch.⁴⁷ It looks like something he would have picked for himself if he'd ever thought about journaling on his own time. "Here. It's yours. Even if you just use it to get all your thoughts out tonight, I think it's probably still good to do, and you can keep it forever if you want."

The paper is nice. Too nice, really. He sits at his seldom-used desk in his bedroom and wastes at least a minute of time just feeling it, running his finger up and down the page. The paper is smooth, cold. He has the urge to get up, to pace.

He stays in the chair and begins to write.

Yuu starts with the basics—his list of techniques for getting over the hurt, filling up the first page with notes from how-to articles and what he can remember of his conversation over dinner. The page is filled easily, between his messy handwriting and the options he has, and so he turns the page and begins journaling for real.

He writes about the asshole, about how he's coming to re-understand his favorite sister all over again. Pages and pages of it—his hand is cramping, and yet he keeps writing. About Mei, growing up quiet, about how he never knew why she was like that. Wondering about what she might have been like, if the Nishinoyas would have been a pack of animals otherwise. Instead, this is what they have—Kaede too responsible, Mei too scared. Satsuki too angry or too noncommittal, unwilling to think about anything except what's the most fun in the moment.

He isn't much better—never looking back, always looking towards improving, towards having fun in the best way he knows. Speaking before thinking, if he thinks at all. He thinks maybe he and Satsuki will spend the rest of their lives without really thinking. They'll split the work in Mom's shop, never grow beyond this little town, never grow up enough to break from this sleepy little neighborhood where he lives three doors down from you and never learns how to cook. Someday, you'll move on to something better, some city where you do things. Probably go to college, have a career.

His hand stills. He's written four pages of this, gripping the pencil too tight, wondering if he should have used pen instead. Is that what's wrong with him? Is that why you're with someone else? The only thing in his future plan is to marry you, and now he's not even sure he'll get to do that.

He throws down the pencil, reaches for his phone even though he hasn't finished writing his last sentence. He needs a second opinion.

2: Ask a trusted friend for help

Texting Ryuu sees him back in the volleyball gym the next day, even though Coach had given them the day off of practice—both he and Takeda caught the same cold—and even though he had a text about come home early tonight if you can in the family group chat. He's sure it had something to do with the panic in the morning, which Yuu—having slept in—hadn't bothered tuning into.

Ryuu had rallied the troops, which amounts to about half the club, excluding the managers. What for, exactly, Yuu isn't certain, just that it's supposed to help him move forward through the pain and better himself.

"Thank you all for coming to this secret bonus meeting of the Karasuno High School Volleyball Club," Ryuu greets. The guys are posted up in a weird sort of half-circle around the whiteboard. Yuu stands opposite him, ready for whatever this entails. "Today is a really important strategy meeting we've organized, so your participation is encouraged and appreciated!"

"A strategy meeting?" Shouyo echoes, tilting his head. "Oh, for the Spring Tournament? Cool!"

Ryuu laughs darkly, shakes his head. Turns to the whiteboard to write the real topic on the board. When he's finished, he turns and slaps a hand against the surface to punctuate it. "Our topic today is this!" On the board, he's written: Why isn't Noya-san popular, despite being so cool?⁴⁸

Silence. Absolute silence. Yuu feels cold, but refuses to show it.

3: Focus on improving yourself.

Slowly, Tsukishima's hand raises.

"Yes, Tsukishima!"

"Can I go home?"

"I'm glad you asked! No you cannot!"

A long-suffering sigh. "Is this because of [surname]-san's new boyfriend?"

Ryuu clears his throat, uncapped marker in hand. "Everyone here knows Noya-san is cool as hell. He's the coolest guy here. He's manly. His looks aren't awful. And he's not popular with girls."

"Eh?" Shouyo says, tilting his head. "R-really?"

Yuu nods firmly. "Not even a little!"

"But… Why not?"

"That's what we're here to figure out!" Ryuu slaps a hand against the board. "Noya-san, are you prepared to accept whatever opinions may come?"

"Of course." His eyes are firm. "I can take every criticism you have of me!"

"I… don't get it," Kageyama mumbles.

Shouyo shakes his head. "Me neither."

"It's definitely because [name]-chan started dating that guy in the baseball club."

"So!" Ryuu shouts. "Your opinions, please!"

The volleyball club looks on in silence, a few thoughtful noises coming from those few taking it seriously. Shouyo's the first to raise his hand, the first to start the suggestions. Ryuu writes them down as they come in a flurry.

Before long, the remaining white space on the board is filled with ideas, ranging from "too cool" (Shouyo) to "annoying loud" (Tsukishima). The cold has melted away a little—Yuu lets himself go with the flow, lets himself shout when he should, joke around, act like Noya-san. He covers up actual offense with blustering replies.

He kind of feels like going back to that stupid, rambly journal.

And then, when they're on a proper roll, when maybe they're getting somewhere and his friends are figuring out what, exactly, makes him so easy to pass over, the door opens, and the guys fall silent.

Kiyoko leads the charge, but right behind her, mid-rant, is you, carrying a laundry basket as you walk.

"I think I'm just, like, fundamentally broken," you're saying, fully not paying attention. "I mean—oh."

You stop, a deer in headlights, as you notice the guys—Ryuu in a panic, trying to erase the board before you can read anything. The words don't disappear under his hand, nor beneath his sleeve, and with horror, he looks at the marker in his hand.

Yuu has a sinking feeling that it wasn't a dry erase marker.

"Dude, erase it," he hisses.

"Do you have any idea how to get permanent marker off a whiteboard?" Ryuu replies.

"Tanaka, do not tell me you just ruined a whiteboard with—"

"I didn't mean to! Why was there even a permanent marker on the whiteboard tray—"

"Coach Ukai is going to kill you—"

"'Why isn't Noya-san popular with girls, despite being so cool'…?" you read aloud, setting down the basket to approach the group. Yuu can't bring himself to look at your face as you read, but that doesn't stop him from hearing the sad way you sigh. "Noya. This is just cruel."

"Cruel?" he echoes. "I'm just trying to—"

"Ignore basically all of this. It doesn't reflect anything real, and it's mostly just… deprecating. Also, Tanaka-senpai, that isn't how you write despite."

Whatever nervous excuse Ryuu gives is lost on you. You pluck a marker off the tray, inspect it with sad eyes. Make a show of rolling up a single sleeve, of crossing out the word short emphatically. Before anyone can react, you scribble over it furiously, following the lines carefully.

"Can one of you bring me some water and a towel so I can save the whiteboard?" you ask in a dull voice. "In the first place, there's not really great logic involved in asking a bunch of guys how to be popular with girls, Noya-senpai."

"What's your opinion then, [surname]-san?" Shouyo asks. "You're a girl."

Holy fuck. He actually asked you.

You hum thoughtfully as you finish covering short in black marker. "In the first place, anything you can't actually control is a waste of time to think about. You can't decide how tall you are, y'know? And any girl who gets caught up on something like that or treats you like you're lesser for that stuff doesn't deserve you in the first place, and you deserve someone who doesn't treat basic facts about you as something to overlook."

You drag your bare arm over the blacked-out short. Like magic, it's disappeared under your marker—a few sighs are released at the realization. You move right on to childish.

"Okay, so what can I actually do to be better?" Yuu asks.

Your eyes snap to him. It's the first time you've really looked at him directly in a while. "That's… if you're trying to get, like, popular appeal and a fanclub, that's probably not going to happen. Not because there's anything wrong with you, but you've gotta be a certain annoying type of person to garner a fanclub, and there's luck involved. If you're trying to just get a girlfriend, well… pick one girl, and pick better."

"Better?" He raises an eyebrow. "Follow-up question. What do I have to do to get you to realize that you're not a punishment?"

A bitter laugh. The word childish disappears completely under your marker. "This isn't about me. But, just… if people don't see you for who you are, that's their loss. I know it can be frustrating, but I honestly don't think anyone who doesn't like you for… any of the reasons listed up here, really, is gonna be good enough for you. You deserve someone who's actually gonna like you, not the person you're pretending to be to get girls."

"But—"

"My head hurts." You say it too quickly, too firmly, too out-of-nowhere, to be anything but an impulsive lie. "Yacchan, Shimizu-senpai, are you two good if I…"

Kiyoko nods. "Go rest if you need to. We're just doing laundry, anyway."

Your lie is painfully, painfully obvious, but no one is willing to call you on it. The Karasuno High School Volleyball club watches you leave without another word.

When they're sure you're gone, Yuu watches Yachi turn to Kiyoko, begin to whisper. After a moment of feverish, quiet debate, they straighten and turn to him.

"We should probably talk."

46. She's playing Kingdom Hearts 2. She's stuck on the boss in Hollow Bastion. If you've played Kingdom Hearts 2, you know the bastard. (I choose to believe everyone struggled with the pretty bastard and it wasn't just me.) Demyx KH2 do not FUCKING interact. Thank you for your time.

47. It's a Maruman Mnemosyne Journal. As I understand it, pretty popular in Japan, brand-wise, but not exactly the level of, like… Hobonichi or Kokuyo, one of which is currently one of THE foremost planner brands in the game and the other which makes those Campus notebooks you see every anime character using in school. I have a Mnemosyne N195 and the paper is fucking GORGEOUS. Great for fountain pens, really good handfeel, 80gsm. Unfortunately, its quality is totally lost on Noya. Mei must really care for him to let him use a Mnemosyne from her collection. I don't think I could bring myself to—the journals like the one he has are a mite expensive compared to their spiral-bound notebooks.

48. Welcome one, welcome all, to ✨drama CD content ✨, featuring my favorite drama CD for no reasons anyone would be able to guess based on everything about me. I had to make it less goofy shenanigans, but I made it hurt. You're welcome.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @kazunish

#my fics #nishinoya yuu/reader #nishinoya yuu x reader #yuu nishinoya x reader #yuu nishinoya/reader #hq reader insert #haikyuu reader insert

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