#it'll be fine though. everything happens for a reason or some shit

[euclydya]

Sssquints really loudly. I mean yall coulda gotten Whole to do this shit but go off

[beesinspades]

my acid reflux issues had improved sooo much these past 8 months, I only took a rennie (equivalent of tums) every three weeks or so (usually the week before my shot or my "period", funnily enough), but these past couple of weeks I need to take one every couple of days 😭😭😭 why me......

no more space in tags so i'll just write it here: also around the time I did the ct scan (for my nerve-something pain that I'm getting an MRI for at the end of the month....third MRI in less than a year 🙄) the guy made me take ibuprofen three times a day for five days so he also had me take PPI blockers again for 10 days.....and boom two weeks later I have acid reflux again!! WEIRD TIMING!!!!!

also I still drink 99% water. I really feel victimized by this situation.

[shuastar]

Hey,can you write something about scoups one night stand ?

a/n: tumblr deleted everything i wrote so now im starting from scratch!! sorry about the delay finals and all.... i hate quarter systems with a passion

tumblr runs on a system of reblogs!! reblog/like/comment!! i <3 interacting

warnings: mdni, rich!seungcheol (implied), rich!reader (implied), lawyer!reader, virgin!reader (implied, kinda), daddy kink, multiple orgasms (implied), innocence kink (kinda implied), NSFW, wrap it before you tap it!!! (even though seungcheol doesn't!!!)

one night stand!seungcheol swears he doesn't usually do this -- get so drunken off someone's scent that he needs them viciously. he swears he's not the type -- and he isn't. he prefers a longer relationship, with commitments and sensual sex -- bed frame rocking gently against the hardwood floor of his penthouse, curtains of the giant windows set on do not disturb, the soft glow of his "sexy" yellow lights glowing against your skin. he swears that's the reason -- the reason his hands start to sweat, just a bit, when you step closer.

one night stand!seungcheol doesn't know how this happened. you were his best friend's sister. his fucking best friend's sister. you were supposed to be young, naive, innocent, kind, anything but the woman he was seeing in front of his eyes. anything but the woman with the low-cut dress and the elegant updo and the gorgeous, gorgeous smile that adorned your lipstick-painted lips.

one night stand!seungcheol remembers when you would drag his (shit-faced) best friend into your small studio apartment, throwing him on the pull-out bed. he remembers standing in the doorway, cheeks dusted a light red (from the cold, he told himself). he remembers you in a old oversized k-pop t-shirt and a random guy's boxers (he couldn't think about that for too long, lest he completely lost his shit), hair pulled back in a messy bun with glasses crooked on the bridge of your nose. he remembers your tired smile and dark eyebags as you half-heartedly invited him to also stay the night with a dry laugh. "aren't you too drink to be driving?" you would ask. he would shake his head no. he only had two drinks. it was mingyu that was out after his 12th soju-vodka-cranberry juice shot. "i'm fine. how're you holding up?" he tried to act nonchalant as he spied the law textbooks sprawled on the floor, disrupted by mingyu's loud movements. you gestured to the room. "as good as it'll get, i guess. wish mingyu could stop forgetting his own keys and coming to my place," you grumbled. seungcheol didn't have the heart to tell you that he secretly stole mingyu's keys because this would be the only way he could see your gorgeous tired face.

one night stand!seungcheol is in denial. he doesn't have time for this shit. he hasn't gone on a proper date in two years because all the girls he meets can't top his own work. being a ceo isn't a walk in the park. he has calls to answer and papers to sign and money to donate. he can't keep up a real relationship because every time he goes on a date, the woman leaves in the first thirty minutes and after he comes back from a five minute work call, the only thing he sees is the back of someone's dress. so why does your smile make his throat close up all of a sudden?

one night stand!seungcheol twitches, almost unconsciously when your fingers graze his biceps. your soft laughter fills his ears and your dizzying perfume (creed eau de parfum) fills the rest of his senses deliciously. he could eat you up. (metaphorically, of course). When you look up from your phone and see him across from you, your eyes crinkle and your lips lift in a smile. you and your senior prosecutor position in some law firm (he should know from many times mingyu's mentioned it, but he was too busy scrolling through your instagram posts). you and your twinkling eyes, gazing up at him like you knew exactly what he was thinking.

one night stand!seungcheol feels like a virgin around you. he's had sex before, he swears. but his knees buckle when the first of your begs leave your lips. you beg. you beg. you beg with doe-eyes, filled with unshed tears of frustration. you beg with pouted lips and if he had any less self control, he would have already kissed it off of you. "pplease?" you whisper, hands wrapping around his broad shoulders. you lay your head against his chest and he can feel your hot breaths fan over his pecs. "seungcheol, please? for me?" you beg, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. you were seducing him. and it was not working. you were his best friend's sister.

one night stand!seungcheol can't help but pull away, for a split second. "y'know i can't," he groans, as he sees your teary eyes and pouty lips, lipstick smudged at the corners from your makeout session only minutes prior. "fuck, don't look at me like that, baby," he rasps, arms wrapping around your silken waist. his hands squeeze at your hips, before creeping upwards towards your dress's falling neckline. "why?" you whine, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. he feels hot -- even with his belt unbuckled, shirt unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up dangerously high. your warm body tempts him so much -- the way you press yourself against him, the way you whine against his skin, the way you grasp for his attention. such a virgin, is his first thought. his perverted dangerous thought.

one night stand!seungcheol has to give in. it's you, for gods sake. how can he say no when you're sucking blues and purples against his neck? your hand roams the expanse of his muscled back, a breathy moan here-and-there as he gropes and sucks on your breasts, now free from the confines of your corsetted bodice. he's so addicted. he doesn't even have enough control to stop his hips bucking up against your fleeting touch. your other hand trails down and down -- down his chest, abs, stopping at the straining tent in his business slacks. your soft touches that scatter around his throbbing cock because you don't know.

one night stand!seungcheol curls into you when you finally take him out of his pants. "fuck, just like that," he groans into your ear, as your fingers wrap around his red-tipped cock, tip dribbling pearl precum into your hands. both of your clothes sit discarded on the floor, and you lay your head against his leg as your hands work their magic on his jupming length. one hand rests gently on your head, the other fisting your white hotel room bed sheets with a foreign ferocity. he's never seen you as anythign else but innocent, pure, perfect. but now, the only thought that float around his mind are perverted and horribly dangerous -- breedable, fuckable, devourable.

one night stand!seungcheol has to stop you in the middle of the best handjob because he doesn't want to cum on your face in five minutes flat. "fuck. c'mere, baby," he mumbles, easily lifting you off of your knees and into his lap, placing you gently on his thighs. his hand brushes stray pieces of hair stuck to your face away. he needs to see you. see your expression, your eyes, your pretty face. "you good?" he asks, just in case. just in case you were in a drunken stupor -- cock drunken stupor. just in case you weren't on the same page. just in case- "oppa," you moan gently, hips canting into his. your bare pussy rubs up against his cock and his grip on your waist tightens exponentially. "seungcheol oppa," you gasp as the tip of his length pokes and probs against your puffy clit, hungry for attention. "please. please, please, please. need it. wan' it. been wanting it. ever since-" you cut yourself off with a gasp as two of seungcheol's fingers swipe against your messy core, dripping with want for him. all of him.

one night stand!seungcheol needs to forcefully hold himself back. he needs to, or else he's afraid he'll rip your pussy open, because his cock isn't even halfway in and there are tears falling from your precious eyes. he mentally slaps himself at the way his cock hardens even more at the sight. "y' okay?" he grunts, biceps straining, breath coming out in pants at the tight grip of your pussy. you won't let up. "hurts," you cry, burying your head into his arms. "won't fit, oppa. can't- how- too big," you gasp as he pushes just a little bit more in. he needs to because it feels like you're cutting off his circulation, makign his brain fuzzy and shit.

one night stand!seungcheol rolls his hips into your experimentally. he's not ready for the pornographic moan of pleasure that escapes your opened lips. you're gone. already. you're gone and he knows because there are tears lining your waterline, your kiss-bitten lips are parted ever-so-slightly, your nails scratch down his back desperately, and your legs shake from their purchase around his waist. "y/n, fuck. fuck, y' feel s'good. so g-good for me. just f'me, yeah?" he mumbles in your ear, like you can hear him through your own tumbling moans. every sharp thrust he gives you feels like you can feel his cock in your ribs. none of you toys could compare. if anything, as soon as you got home, every single one of them was going into the trash. seungcheol's deft fingers crawl in between your bodies and rub small circles against your clit. "ah!" your hips buck uncontrollably and seungcheol groans as his hands pin your tratorious hips to the bed. a shaky laugh escapes his throat. "feel good, baby? tha' feel good f'you?" his fingers rub again, and you feel tingly -- like something was building up in your body. you can't help but writhe in his grasp, nails streaking red down his back. "fuck! oh my- oh- holy- da-" you cut yourself off with a muffled shriek as seungcheol pounds into you, fingers furious on your deprieved bud. your tears finally fall. down and down your cheeks. "shit, shit, shit," you moan and gasp, toes curling at this foreign feeling of pleasure. if you knew sex was this good you would've hooked up sooner.

one night stand!seungcheol's hips falter at your next words. "fuck, daddy, fuck me," you moan, throwing your head back against the pillows and your back arching so sexy off the bed. his arms wrap around your waist almost automatically. his hips cant into yours like on autopliot and the only thing that falters is his breath. you moan out a few more profanities, daddy being one of them. he can't believe his ears. you. calling him daddy. the thought of it alone sends another rush of arousal to his cock. and apparently that proved to be the breaking point of him because he lets out his loudest moan, catching himself before he falls on top of you, hips loosing their rhythm as he chases his high. "oh my g-god," he gasps, hands cupping your jaw. you're no better. "wanna cum, daddy," you cry, wrapping your arms around his neck. "wanna cum so bad, please, please, please. please let me cum -- wan' it. wan' yours. daddy, daddy, daddy..." you moan out the words like a fucking mantra. and he's on his breaking point. you cannot be real. you feel like a character out of his perverted fairy tale. "fuck, wan' my cum, princess?" he moans back. he has no idea what he's saying at this point. he's talking with his dick. 100%. "take it" he grunts, fingers desperate to bring you to your high before his last straw finally snaps. "fuckin' cum, baby. fuckin' cum and take mine like a good girl, yeah?" a couple more stuttered thrusts and he has you convulsing, almost not breathing, on the sheets, body tensing as you reach your third orgasm, shaking and moaning like a fucking porn star.

one night stand!seungcheol lets out a jumble of curse words as he goes right after you, body jerking as he empties out his creamy cum inside your pussy. his body falls on yours, the smell of sex and cologne wrapping around your spent form. he stays like that until you sniffle, hand going up to wipe at your eyes. "fuck, you okay?" he pushes off of you, sitting up to gently scan you for possible injuries. you let out a small laugh of disbelief, a smile curving itself into your lips. "m' fine. jus' sore. a little." you mumble, shying away from his gaze. a deep blush coats your cheeks as you look around for something to cover yourself with. seungcheol pulls you towards him, scooping you into his arms. "where you goin' huh?" his voice rumbles in his chest as he gives you a lopsided grin. "can't let my princess go off alone like this." you groan in embaressment. "i didn't mean to call you..." you trail off "...daddy," you whisper, burying your face in your hands as seunghcheol brings you to the bathroom, turning on the bath water.

one night stand!seungcheol can't help but stare at your sleeping face, gently caressing your jaw, arms, hips, waist, everything. he can't help but wonder what would have happened if he had just dated you to start with. his heart almost stops in its tracks when you turn towards him and inches closer, snuggling into his beefy embrace.

one night stand!seungcheol and you have to face the consequences of the night: your brother. but as your brother yells and pulls at his hair and blaches and walks into a glass wall, you and seungcheol stare at eachother, giddy lovesick smiles painted on your faces.

[writingdisposal]

Baby-trapping

~•~•~•~•~•~

synopsis: How likely they are to baby-trap you

cw: yandere themes, mentions of forceful pregnancy (includes non-consensual)

a/n: I don't know how reproduction works in the Hazbin's version of Hell, but let's just assume it still works.

~•~•~•~•~•~

Vox

He isn't fond of the idea. As Hell's most charismatic celebrity, Vox believes in his social skills to be enough to keep you with him. Naturally a baby would bind you forever more, but does he really want some shithead running around? Taking your attention away? The thought has him set in a bad mood. If you happened to get pregnant, he'd tell you to abort it. If you happened to have a kid before meeting him, he'll use as leverage in fights. He'd say, "Why are you acting like such a bitch? At least, I'm giving that little cunt a roof over his head, so listen to me before I stop being so generous!" It's by no means perfect, but Vox can be reasoned with. Well, most of the time anyway. Overall, he disregards them until they become useful. If there are no children, he won't force it.

Alastor

Haha, no. I think he would be a fine with children and he does consider the option, purely for the controlling and sadistic aspect. At the end though, it'll drive you further away from him, so he'll never force a chill. When you both fight however, he will come eerily close to you, static noise filling the room. "Don't underestimate my restraint, dear. If I wished, I could ruin you spectacularly." For this comment to slip, you'd need to really piss him off, like doubting his devotion or looking at someone else romantically. Overall, if you don't or do have children, you'll be fine. He won't really use them as leverage nor hurt them. Alastor would talk shit about you to your children though, not because he is angry with you, just for the entertainment and for your children to become offended.

Valentino

Yes, he would force you to have a child, regardless of the circumstances. It's not because he likes children. God, he hates those whiny little shits..., but they are a great reminder of how much power he has over you. Valentino likes tormenting you. That is the only appeal you have to him, being a fun toy. The children won't bind you, but that will never be his goal. Seeing you sob uncontrollably is what he seeks and enjoys. Everything after is disregarded. "Oh come on~! Was it really that bad?" He laughs mockingly, puffing his smoke, "You'll survive, love." Either way you're fucked.

[six-eyed-samurai]

"Join the Cleaners."

She shoots a deadpan look at him, head tucked into the crook of her elbow. One leg lazily kicks at his, causing a yell that makes her chuckle slowly. "Told you. Nope."

"Why not?" The blond scooted his stool closer, resting his head on his hand to stare intently at her. The drinks sat forgotten between them.

"Enjin, you've been seeing me nearly every day at this damn bar and asking me the same question for so long. When are you gonna give up?"

He grins. "When you join the Cleaners."

"God, you're so annoying." She shoved him away without any real force. "I'm doing okay. I don't need to join the Cleaners."

"But we need as many Givers as possible," Enjin persisted. "And I've seen you in action - you're really amazing. Besides, you know everyone and everyone likes you. I like you. I wanna see you more, not at some seedy booze house where you reject me every day."

"Reject?" She prodded at the cup, averting her eyes. "I've got my reasons. I've told you a million times already I'm not interested."

"What possible reason could there be? You get free boarding, meals, water, if you're materialistic. Don't act like you don't wanna see the team either." What a pest he can be; it almost carves a smile on her face. "I'll even take your rejection - the romantic one, I mean - if you come join. I'll buy your tab and everything."

She reaches out and flicks a finger at his face. "Tempting. I feel almost convinced."

Enjin rubs at the sore spot, frowning as he watches her down the rest of her drink and get to her feet. He swiveled around in his seat, wishing he was a little less sober to not feel disappointed as she strides towards the exit.

"Sorry, Enjin, but it's a hard pass."

"See you tomorrow?"

"If I can make it." She glances back and her face adds, You know I will.

"M'kay. Stay safe - !"

She stops short. "That's new. What's the matter?"

"Nothing?" Enjin raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Just thought - you've got a black eye."

"Oh. That."

She walks out pretty quickly and Enjin goes back to nursing his cup, wondering if a cigarette will fix the twinge he feels at the funny tone she had.

***

The next night he sees her, she's slumped on the counter. Enjin might've thought she'd drunk herself into a stupor if he hadn't known she could hold her liquor like crazy and there were no cups in sight. He slides in beside her, tapping her cheek to wake her up.

"Good evening, sleeping beauty. Whatever happened to your face?"

She gingerly brushes a thumb across her busted lip. "Accident. No big deal."

"Looks like a big ouch. I can clean it up for you, or that shoulder still hurts you can go to the Cleaner HQ with me. We've got a pretty good medic and you can spend the night with me...uh, not in that way."

"Funny, Enjin, and thanks for the offer. I'm fine though - or, I'll be fine," She corrects herself upon seeing his face.

"Y'know, I've been thinking-"

"Don't do that, it'll hurt your head."

Enjin huffs. "You're always so mean to me. As I was saying, I wanna know. Do you keep rejecting me because you think I'm just trying to get you to join the Cleaners or that I wanna get in your pants and vanish the next day?"

"Well, dunno, you do look like a womanizer." She enjoys a laugh at his hurt, melodramatic expense. "Nah, it's not that. I'm just...spoken for..."

"You're taken?" Enjin's mouth falls open comically. "Shit, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to be disrespectful or anything -"

"It's alright, I'd rather it not affect us or anything." She shrugs and steals his drink.

Enjin works on closing his jaw. "Why didn't you say something before?"

"..." She makes a face. "Sometimes... never mind. Forget it - you know now, don't you?"

"Yeah, but-"

"I'll set you on fire with your drink if you press the subject." She props her chin up with her hand and leans forward, trying to smile through disturbed eyes. "So? What Trash Beast has Enjin the Great slain today?"

***

"Haha! Look at all that energy."

That kid that fell from the sky sure was interesting! Enjin's right as always, watching, grinning from his view up above as he watches absolute havoc gets wrecked upon his captors, swinging the chain around like mad. Man, it was powerful.

Two of the men rush forward in a futile attempt to subdue the kid, but Enjin's attention is transfixed on the one that's staying behind, cowering behind their howling leader. Odd, really odd, because they're wearing a mask and seem familiar...if he had a minute to think he could work out where Enjin had seen them before, certainly-

"Kill that little shit! Why are you still here?!" The one with the bitten finger yanked the mask off their face and struck them hard, hard enough to twist their head and cause a nosebleed. "You're a Giver, aren't you?! Do something!"

She drags a hand across her bloodstained face, nodding fearfully, before scrambling to her feet and launching an attack with her own jinki.

Enjin nearly falls off in surprise. What the hell are you doing here?!

Obeying the orders of some lowly human traffickers, no less, reluctantly using your Giver powers to protect and attack and defend? Have them screaming at you and be threatened?

How long, exactly, had this been happening under his nose?

Everything about her makes sense, suddenly - but he'll deal with it later, because right now -

"Whoa, for real?!"

"He can use more than one object?!"

They're all knocked out by the end of it (Enjin wincing when the tyre smashes into her), save for that cursing, son of a nice lady leader. Enjin considered letting the kid take him out as well, in retaliation for hitting her - wait, how long had that been going on? - but with a sigh he made his way down there to stop even more hell being unleashed.

He'll come back for you later, Enjin silently promises as he takes the kid away. Come back for answers and whether she likes it or not, far, far away from whatever secret life she'd been leading.

***

She doesn't show up at the bar for three days and Enjin's starting to really despise the shitty drink.

He's lighting a cigarette when a hand reaches out and snatches it from him, to slide it into her own mouth. "I want one."

"Hey, you're here - damn."

"Something on my face?" She raises an eyebrow, gesturing for her own drink.

"Yeah, a lot. Shit, when did - who did this?"

Enjin grabs her face and tilts it up, gaping at the multiple tiny cuts the bandage on her cheek doesn't cover, at the split lip and bruises. He's an idiot. He should've gone looking for her the moment she didn't show up that night.

She grimaces, trying to pry off his hands. "Hands off, jaw's still sore."

"No shit - you look like you went through hell." Why is she so calm, so casual about this? Like they're just talking about the weather? "Why?"

"Why what?" Her fingers play with the cigarette.

"Don't give me that shit, why? Why didn't you tell me - I was there when you tried to kidnap the Sphereite, you know."

Her eyes widen and the cigarette nearly falls out from shock...shame? "You were? Wondered where the kid went."

What a liar. He can practically hear the prayers in her tone, hope that he hadn't seen her be slapped and pushed around and attempt to attack a-

"Just tell me everything. Please." He tucks a strand away, grazing past a scab. "All those times you wouldn't let me walk you home, those wounds...I should've guessed. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. I didn't want you to know." Her gaze trails off behind his shoulder. "There's nothing to tell. I sell Sphereite body parts for a living. There you go."

"Cut the crap. I saw the way he hit you. He's your - right?" Enjin pulls his stool closer to her. "Just out with the truth. I'm not going to - I won't do anything to you, promise."

The cigarette burns out and she crushes it against the counter top. "I didn't know at first. I just got...mixed up in it. If I could, I'd - I'd never have gone back with him."

"Go on. Please."

"He wasn't that bad at first. I found out what they were really doing and I said I wanted out. But Givers are hard to come by and they got very physical about it." She shrugs and looks away, gingerly holding her cheek, other hand drumming fingers on the wood. It's sad - she's not supposed to say all that like they were unchangeable facts or glance at him from the corner of her eye like she expects him to be disgusted any moment.

"Why didn't you tell me? Could've helped you leave. I would've done anything. You just got involved, you're not a bad person. Or stay because you think you deserve it."

It's a little too quiet. She's chewing her lip. "... didn't want you to look at me any different. You're the only - yeah. Coming here is the only thing I've got to look forward to."

"I'd never do that." Enjin shakes his head vehemently. "Only would've made me wanna take you back with me more. Even if I have to practically kidnap and haul your stubborn ass all the way to Cleaner HQ."

"You wouldn't dare." A ghost of smile flits across her face. "I did want to join. I didn't mean to reject you so much, but - you get the idea."

He props up his head with his hand, smirking. "So, you'll join now? Don't worry about them. If anyone comes looking for you they'll have to go through me first, as cliché as that sounds."

"God, you're cheesy." The swat at his face is worth it. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"What about the kid? He's with you, ain't he?"

"You afraid Rudo's gonna hold a grudge?" Enjin briefly considered it. "Absolutely, but it'll be fine. Probably."

"That kid is actually scary - you're taking the heat if anything happens."

"Well, ouch. Hey, does this mean I can finally take you out for dinner or something?"

She jabbed a finger into his cheek. "You're paying. For every date."

"I get more than one?! Great!"

They say the third time's the charm, but maybe thirty two is Enjin's lucky number, because that's when he finally gets to take her back with him.

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-Three

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!

Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx

Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

“I said no.”

Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.

“Give me a reason at least?"

I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?

“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.

“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.

I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”

Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.

“One thing after another with you.”

My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”

The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”

I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it. 

“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.

“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”

I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.

Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.

I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”

With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”

I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”

To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep. 

Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.

“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”

“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”

Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.

“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”

My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.

The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.

He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.

I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me. 

Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand. 

But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.

Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.

“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.

“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.

“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”

Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.

Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.

When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.

“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”

I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky. 

“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs. 

“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.

Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”

I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-

“Anyone here?”

I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.

George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”

Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.

“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”

“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”

I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”

Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”

I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done. 

Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”

Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.

“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”

It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.

Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.

See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.

Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard. 

George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more. 

Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.

He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.

I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon. 

The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.

I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.

I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated. 

“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”

George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”

Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”

I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.

Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”

I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”

He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.” 

I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”

Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”

I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.

He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”

I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.

During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.

George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.

“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about. 

He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it. 

“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.

Or maybe I was just kidding myself.

“Sorry.”

George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”

He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.

“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile. 

“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.

I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.

“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."

I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.

Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.

I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.

“What?”

George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.

“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me. 

Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”

My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”

We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.

“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.

I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”

That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”

George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”

He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.

His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”

I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.

The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.

I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.

You had me from the start  Pulling all the stops out  On the down low, secretly  But I think you knew your psychology  Was working on me  Infatuated  And doing this all wrong  You've got  My number and my name  And you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going  Can I see you every day?  Do you love me  Like I love you?  Ah, you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going

(Song: Ride - Future Love)

It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me. 

I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.

His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.

A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.

Not even a second later my phone was in my hand. 

Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me? 

–

Matty had always had a thing for Sundays. 

There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick. 

No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him. 

There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.

Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.

It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.

Jamie had somehow managed it.

Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.

But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.

It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings. 

He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.

There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.

He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.

Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.

Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.

The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”

Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.

This was it, he supposed.

The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.

He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.

The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.

If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal. 

He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.

It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.

She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.

Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.

The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.

“You can just hang your-”

“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway. 

It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.

“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”

He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him. 

Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”

God, it was so fucking strained.

He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.

“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.

“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”

Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”

She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before. 

But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.

Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv. 

There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.

She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which. 

He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.

He found himself smiling at the thought.

It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.

“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down. 

Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.

“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.

She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”

Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”

She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”

Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.

The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.

“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.” 

Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.

She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”

“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.

“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”

Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”

Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.

“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...” 

He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks. 

She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?” 

“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.

“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”

That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.

Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind. 

“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”

Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.

Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”

Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.

“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.” 

He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”

He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.

“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”

Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.

“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”

“Said what?”

Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”

Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.

Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”

Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.

“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.

“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”

She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.

“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”

Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.

“Then what?”

Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”

Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.

He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.

It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”

Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.

“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.

“I know.” He answered.

“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.

“I know.”

He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.

[manheeiim]

Nothing Lasts Forever - Slowly but Surely

ᥫ᭡ link to nothing lasts forever masterlist

After the graveyard "adventure"- according to JJ- they went to drop me off back at my house. John B shut the headlights off as we pulled up and he parked the van.

"It was nice to meet you guys." I say.

"Nice to meet you." Kiara sweetly says.

"Nice meeting you." Pope says.

"Bye, JJ." I say as I look over at JJ with a small smile.

"How about I stay with you?" He suggests making John B raise his eyebrows.

"H-huh?" I respond as I look into his eyes.

"I could stay with you for a bit. It'll be fine. My place isn't far from here." JJ says.

"Uh... sure." I say, I wasn't sure if he wanted a hook-up with me right now. I just wasn't that type of girl though.

He opens the van and we get out. He shuts the door and goes up to the passenger window, "Well, yonder ye. We'll be uh-going." JJ tells them before turning around and walking with me as we head sneakily to my bedroom window.

I open it carefully and sneak inside before JJ follows, but of course, he trips a bit as he gets in. We both freeze after the noise, and I pray it does not wake anyone up. Luckily, we heard nothing after a few moments and I let out a relieved sigh before going over to my bedroom door and making sure it was locked.

I take my shoes off before getting in bed. JJ gets in bed as well, not really waiting for an invite or anything. I don't mind though as we lay side by side.

"So, what was tonight even all about?" I softly ask, my voice having to keep quiet as to not wake anyone up.

JJ sighs, "John B's dad died a while back and... he's kind of in denial about it. He thinks that his dad is out there and that he's for some strange reason left clues for John B to find him. Like... a treasure hunt or some shit."

"Well, that sucks." I say. "But it's nice that the three of you are going along with it."

"Yeah, I mean, he's my bro so..." JJ trails off, shrugging a little.

"That's sweet of you." I softly say.

"You think so?" He asks in a teasing tone, his hand going up and resting on my hip. I blush a little at his touch as I nod.

"I still feel a bit bad about... about how I reacted at Lana's house." I admit.

"Why?" JJ asks.

"I should've comforted her... not- not walked out." I say.

"It's fine. You were fine." JJ says. "I... didn't exactly want to be there either." He tells me.

This side of JJ was much different from what I was used to and I was honestly shocked that I was even seeing this side of him so early into knowing him but it was comforting. I hadn't felt this comfortable around anyone else in a while and honestly, this was just the beginning of me opening up.

"Just... it brought me back to.. a time that I don't want to go back to." That is all I say. I was intentionally being a bit vague, to be honest. Though, even saying that was a lot for me.

JJ's eyes glance over my face for a moment before responding. "I get that." Is all he says before looking away. Obviously, there was stuff neither of us were ready to talk about. Not yet.

I sigh as I take a shaky breath, wiping a tear that seems to be forming in one of my eyes. Honestly, everything that happened was quite fresh so I was still dealing with... coping with it, I guess you could say.

"You good?" JJ asks.

"Yeah." I sniffle as I wipe the tear, taking a deep breath in.

Neither of us said anything and all I wanted to do right now was be hugged but I was scared. I knew that things were moving fast, in a way, or at least it felt that way to me. I refused to initiate that type of affection despite how much I wanted it.

Suddenly, JJ is pulling me in against him, his arms wrapping around me as my face rests against his chest. We just lay there in silence for a while before eventually, I drift off to sleep, JJ following shortly after.

[karoochui]

I just wanted to say I am so enamoured with Binary Insurgence! I eat up everything, every little crumb, you drop about it and the entire idea is so interesting to me! I'm so in love with stories and worlds like this! I'm also curious to know about the relationship between Sun and Moon, if it's alright to ask. How was it before the fire compared to after? Does their relationship begin to mend (because I'm certain over the years it deteriorated) when y/n comes back into the picture? If any of this is too spoilery or you just haven't fleshed it out yet then you don't have to answer! I'm just super curious about the boys and how you see their dynamic/relationship. I just look forward to seeing how their bond has grown and/or broken and how it may be mended over time.

AHH im glad you like it so much!! Im happy to talk about what i've got, but you are right not everything is fully fleshed out. I have points i wanna get to but while im brainstorming and planning i make up a lot of stuff as i go and then go over it again later to see if i like it or can connect stuff in any way. I have 3 chapters for Arc 1 fully summarized as of now! (Which probably doesn't seem like a lot but i like my chapters long, so it's quite a bit actually).

I wanna say, too, that i'm planning for the first story to be more in the perspective of the reader, so most things about Sun and Moon's personal thoughts and feelings are gonna be more implied than said. I might have some switching points of view, i'm not sure, but i haven't found a place i'd do it or think it's relevant. The sequel is gonna be more from their perspective since it'll mostly be about them.

NOW! I see Sun and Moon as brothers, so they really treat each other in a way that's like that. Before the fire they get along pretty well. Most instances of issue would be when Moon blocks out Sun when he fronts, or just mutual panic over the fact Moon lost his shit w/ the virus. They'll have their disagreements about things (i havent planned specifics yet) but generally they're chill. Sun just worries about Moon hurting people, but Moon worries too. With the way the virus functions in this AU it's hard for Sun to fully fault Moon for what he does, especially because he's also affected by it but not nearly as bad. (I'm gonna explain this more in another ask i have).

Plus, even before the virus they were always glitch/bug-ridden because technicians fucked up their programming continuously after removing them from the theater to work in the daycare. So they had to kinda navigate through that together, glitches and errors on both ends (though not deadly). They hate P&S bc of this, obviously. Hardware fixes suck but they fucking HATE software examinations.

Later on though some issues come into play whenever Sun starts getting worse by being further exposed to the virus (it gets worse for him when they eclipse) because it presents itself in Sun differently than it does Moon. He gets snappier and angrier at times (that comic i made that's captioned "well someones snappy") and while they both understand he doesnt mean the shit he does it's still not great. And nobody's gonna just let themselves be talked to like a dog even if the reason it's happening is because of something the other person can't really help. They're still relatively fine at this point, though.

It's at the end when shit goes really bad, because this part of the story does end badly. I won't spoil specifics but after the fire Sun loses his shit. He starts trying to put the blame on Moon for everything (the virus enhancing his already bad habits/fucking with his line of thinking) out of grief and anger. That carries over into the apocalypse and he just gets worse in general. He gets irrational.

It's a long period of time though, so he eventually also manages it, in his own way. But! I did say before in an ask that in the sequel he's "not evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut". He damns Moon to an hourglass to just fucking get rid of him about 100~ years before they meet you again (he fully thinks he's in the right for this (and he also just hates him) and the only reason he really even stayed around after that was to make sure Moon didn't get out again). He's not a bad-intentioned individual, but he's off the fucking wall at many times bc of the virus having made him worse. He's stubborn as all hell to an infuriating degree, he's irrational, hard-headed, reckless, and while a good bit of his old, kinder self is still pretty prevalent he can be downright fucking mean if provoked. Again, worse than before, and it doesn't take much these days! I always imagined him to have more dramatic, snappy, diva aspects to his personality (even before Help Wanted 2 came out) bc hes so theatrical and intense, so basically take a Sun that's like that, crank it up to 100 and put him in a Bad Situation. That's what Round 2 Sun is like at his worst. He's not a complete lost cause though, and he's far from dumb when he does stuff, just clouded by his own judgement. He doesn't think anything's wrong with him (or does he?).

Moon doesn't really hate him like Sun hates Moon, because although he knows that what happened (the ending of the first story) is technically both of their faults he just feels guilt. They do fight a lot, though. Most of it is Moon trying his best to tell Sun that he's basically full of shit and not seeing things right after Sun starts something, but Sun's at the point where he's gotta learn by consequence. Part of the reason he's so bad is bc 1: hes been infected by the virus for so long now and 2: in his grief, anger, and resentment he's learned to live with it rather than fighting it.

But the sequel is gonna be a feel-good story! Falling in love w/ the reader all over again, i want things to get cleared up - or at least some kind of middle ground between Sun and Moon - the whole sha-bang.

[nottakingresponsibility]

(Alright, alright. Hi. This whole thing is going to be OOC, and it's going to be attached to my pinned post from a link that goes to this post. To put it simply!) Let's lay out some proper rules for me and Jimmy here, cause apparently I overestimated people and their basic understanding of human decency! (I would REALLY prefer you read this.)

First off, if I say I don't want to roleplay something, don't go against me for that. It's my choice, and I have my own reasons for it. I own the blog, I get to decide what's canon to it and what isn't as well. Currently? It's kind of a mess. So if I ever feel the need to clean that up, don't get upset about it.

Be respectful in general, please! That should be a basic thing. I also, as I have stated, am not good at communicating. Please be patient with me. Me and Jimmy are two different people. I get it, he's an asshole. You can hate him all you want, don't take it to the mod. I just want to explore him as a character, we all have our own shit to deal with.

I am as human as you likely are. I'm not just a character from a game, I'm a real person. I have my boundaries, I have things I'm comfortable with doing, and things I'm not. It's hard to speak up about that, and I automatically assume people are assholes at first insult, keep that in mind. I WILL block you if you deserve it in my eyes, I block freely, and that's that. No second chances.

My mental health is a priority, I am a priority, this is my blog and I'm doing this for fun.

Now then! Onto actual roleplaying rules, sorry.

Don't control Jimmy for me, or at least not too often, alright? It kind of takes the fun out of it if I feel like I have to do a set thing. We all have fun here, yeah, and most of the time I'll let whatever happens, happen. But I do have my limits when it comes to getting annoyed.

I need everyone to know I roleplay in a specific way. I make Jimmy talk with "Speaking!" and when he does actions, it's just; He does an action! Wow! And that's that. I get why that could be confusing. Whatever happens in his thoughts, stays in there. People aren't just mind readers now, are they? When I talk out of character, it'll have () on both sides of the text. That's me, not Jimmy. Don't be an asshole or I'll think it's deliberately to me, and I'll block you. I feel like I really have to emphasize that.

The whole point of him is that he has secrets, yeah. He's a manipulative bastard, what a shock. It's not a huge problem, especially considering a lot of the anons are probably just voices in his head or whatever, and it will be assumed as such if you just know everything about him. Like Doubt for example! (Positive by the way, you're cool Doubt mod :])

Anything Jimmy does is not endorsed by the mod, I know roleplay is in character, it's fine if you're an asshole to him. Though, sometimes I wish the insane bullshit would die down a bit. Cause, between you and me? I don't know how to roleplay him getting killed twenty fucking times over. I never EVER want to be limiting on what you can do!! I'm just getting kind of tired of nothing on this blog making sense. :(

No death is canon by the way, ever. Unless it is decided by me AND the mod of whoever else is roleplaying. Or, if it's just me writing Jimmy in a stand alone post. In which, most of the time are free to interact with, do as you wish. A lot of the things he receives as 'gifts' I'm not even going to remember, I have a bad memory. Speaking of deaths and killing!

Please, if you're gonna kill Jimmy and even slightly THINK of making it canon, make it make sense. And, also, ask me first. It can be in the tags, you don't have to DM me, I always read tags. In fact, I'd probably prefer to not get DMED anyway.

Please understand there's several Jimmys in several different places. He may be terribly injured one place, and completely fine in another for the convenience of asks and other roleplays. Of course, that's always open. You want to roleplay with an upset, stressed and or injured Jimmy? Go ahead. You want to roleplay with normal Jimmy? Sure.

I can delete asks freely. Especially if I just don't know how to answer them, or really don't feel like putting that on the blog. If I stop roleplaying with you, again, it's NOT personal! I just don't fucking know how to respond or I got tired of the way things were going, I may or may not be on the neurodivergent spectrum bear with me. Or I just. You know, took a break, took care of myself, perhaps took a nap. I have a life I fear.

I don't exactly know how to cover everything here, but just think basic roleplaying rules. Don't be an asshole to the mod, and have fun, don't expect everything to be canon. They can be with the specific character he's roleplaying with, but don't always expect it to be canon throughout the whole blog! If you're somehow really that clueless, feel free to search up 'basic roleplaying rules' on Google or something. I can't explain things right when I'm not thinking straight. This is NOT up for debate, none of these rules are, I mean. And if you want to stay on this blog, I expect you to read them.

[marshmallowprotection]

Atp I’m just gonna be the angst anon,,

how do you think all versions of Saeran + Saeyoung will react to their feelings being unreciprocated

But I’m not talking about some little crush, i mean DOWN BAD-I’d let the world burn for you kinda feelings

Pls write the most heartbreaking shit ever,,, your characterization is so accurate 🙏🙏

Ray already has a canon depiction of what that looks like and I don't think I need to go into detail on what happens on V Route.

Suit Saeran would have no choice but to accept it. He's not going to spiral because he already assumed from the start you wouldn't like him because you kind to Ray and he's not right. He never expected you to like him so even if he likes you, it's one of those things where he didn't even bother to get his hopes up because what would be the point in getting his hopes up when there's no real reason to have any hope in a cult?

He still is going to do everything he can to get you out of that place, but he never expected to be loved. That's something that only Ray could have. Why bother getting his hopes up? There's no reason to hope for anything more than what he's already been given and that is how he sees it.

GE Saeran already came two terms with the fact that you may not ever want to see him again after his apology and promise to get you out of Mint Eye. He steeled himself to do the right thing, and to do the right thing, he had to be willing to let you go.

He had to truly respect your autonomy and take it with grace if you decided to leave. So, it might hurt, it'll hurt quite a bit if we're being honest, but all he wants at the end of the day is for you to be happy and if that's not with him, that's okay. It's a part of his acceptance process and he will take the time to take care of his emotions, but you won't have to worry about that because he's not going to put that on your plate. It's something he needs to work on.

Unknown is... well. He's apathetic to the world and if we got by what he feels canonically, you're just his eyes. He's using you to help him get the revenge he wants on his brother and Jihyun. There's a reason why he doesn't have a route, and it's because to have that with him, it would take a long time, longer than the speed-run we're given with 11 days that already cut down what would realistically be months. Even if he had feelings for you, even if he wanted to chase after you...

He's not an idiot. He knows you would choose the RFA even if he told all about the lies and deceit. Doesn't mean he wouldn't try to get you to believe him, but if you don't like him, so what? It's not he expected or wanted a happily ever after. His plan has always been revenge and then... nothing. End game. He can't see past that, and you not liking him would sting, but he's been rejected so much that he lives within numb apathy as it is.

SE Saeran, similarly to Suit Saeran, would never bother to get his hopes up. He has spent so much of his life living in a world of apathy that he doesn't try to dream of anything larger than what he already has. If the only good things he can have are ice cream and the sky, that's fine. That's more than he ever thought he would have.

It might crush his heart if you became the one person he could confide in more than anything, but why would you want somebody as broken as him romantically? He will shrug it off and deal with it just because the world beat him up so much that he's come to expect that things will always work out in his favor. It's good as long as you're happy, though. You've been a good friend.

Saeyoung would be crushed if he poured his heart out only for it to be stomped on. But, what can you do? As long as you're happy, that's all he could ever ask for. He told himself from the get-go that loving you would be impossible because of his circumstance, and if that's proven to be true, he's okay with that. He prepared himself for that pain a long time ago, and even though he won't be ready to face that pain, just know that he'll be okay in the end. You don't have to love him the way he loves you for him to be happy.

Just being able to call you his friend means the world to him. Thank you for being his friend, he'll say, but he will need some time to think and process his emotions in a healthy way... and by that, I mean he'll likely take a drive as far away as he can get for a few times until he's able to cry and let out those emotions in a safe, constructive way.

[wyrm-in-a-closet]

Science fact of the day- Earth!

We're probably all fairly familiar with Earth. I hope. While Earth seems like a fairly typical planet, for our solar system it's actually fairly unique. It's the most massive rocky planet, and also the densest, it's the only one with a reasonable thickness atmosphere, and it's the only one with a strong magnetic field. The last two are actually connected, because the magnetic field deflects high energy particles that would otherwise contribute to atmospheric evaporation. Since yall are probably pretty familiar with the Earth in its current state, I'll go through a bit of history.

The Earth was formed about 4.5 billion years ago, although it forming was actually a long process of it gradually gaining mass. Pretty soon, it had been impacted by Theia, leading to the formation of the moon, as I've discussed before. When the Moon first formed, it would've been many times larger than it is now, but you mightve been lucky to see it. Earth's atmosphere was originally more rich in CO2 and methane, which are both incredibly strong greenhouse gases- and so although the sun was only at 70% of its current brightness, it still would've been hotter than it is today. During this time, it's believed that it was hit by a good deal of meteors, infered through moon Craters of a similar age. This asteroids are probably what brought water to Earth, and with it, life soon appeared. After some 1.5-2 billions years of life growing and evolving, it figured out photosynthesis using the CO2 in the atmosphere. Great! But, uh, now the atmosphere is filled with a super toxic fuck you kill everything gas called oxygen, and so almost everything died. But at least the sky is blue now!. Anyways now it's cold. Really cold. The Earth is a snowball. Actually it was a snowball like 4 different times. But hey that oxygen can also turn into O3 (ozone) which is great for the sun not killing us. So now shit is on land now and then stuff gets big then it dies like 5 times, last time it was because of a meteorite. Now mammals go everywhere and before long they got smart enough to make weird devices where nerds can send cool science facts to fans of the same comic. Isn't that cool!. But the earth isn't done it's gonna keep on trucking with or without us. Pretty soon it's gonna slam some tectonic plates together again and we'll have a new awesome supercontinent! …which will be mostly massive desert far from the ocean that'll get so hot most mammals are going to die, probably. The sun is also still getting hotter. Eventually it'll get so hot that certain process just won't work, then it'll get so hot the oceans will boil. Then it'll get extremely hot because the sun will get big, but it'll also lose mass, so Earth will go further away so we might be fine. Nobody knows for sure though. Then we don't really know what will happen if do survive, but probably some star or something will eventually fly too close and screw up the orbits. But it's fairly unlikely the earth would actually get destroyed, the planet might be able to physically exist for a very very very large number of years.

I hope it doesn't get to lonely here when that day comes.

[eunchancorner]

AU Mashup thing part 3

I actively lost braincells from writing this, do I even know how to write anymore? idk

this'll probably be the last 'official' part I make and from here it'll just be oneshots

-

When Henry got the tests back, it took him a little bit to understand what had happened. Apparently, the DNA had manifested in nearly random dog breeds in him and Burt, but had managed to do some kind of correlation in Sven. It was unclear whether it was his overworking nature, or the serum just making fun of him for being swedish (Henry liked the second idea better), but Henry had ended up with samoyed features, Burt had pitbull features, and Sven had ended up with swedish vallhund features. As a result, Burt was able to be released first, while Henry and Sven had to stay behind while their spines got used to being curled at the ends.

Soon enough, though, the other two were cleared to at least leave the infirmary.

Charles helped Henry out as he struggled to balance comfortably with the new appendage on his back, giving the leader something to lean on as he escorted him to his room.

“Alright, now, you’re going to rest while you get used to being part dog, okay? No leadership duties, no trying to manage anything, just rest, okay?” the pilot tried to assert, attempting to make Henry sit on his bed, but he refused.

“No, I’m going to make sure the others aren’t fucking everything up,” the leader argued, trying to walk past Charles, who held onto his arm.

“Oh, did I forget to mention I’m going to be chilling in here with you while you recover?” he added with a smirk, making Henry pause in his attempts.

“Y’know… Maybe I should give myself a break. I’ve earned it, after all,” he decided, letting Charles shove him onto his bed, earning a short laugh and an eye roll from the pilot.

“Yeah, whatever you need to tell yourself. Move over, I wanna sit down, too.”

“Mmmm… fine,” he grumbled, laying on his side and moving back so Charles could sit down with him. As soon as he had sat down, Henry pressed closer, snuggling up to him.

“Oh, look, it is making you clingier,” the pilot chuckled, gently patting the leader’s back, who sighed softly, looking up at him.

“You’re lucky I like you, otherwise I’d shove you right back off this bed,” he mumbled with a small stretch, earning yet another laugh.

“Ah, lucky me, having the leader’s favor for literally the weirdest reason I’ve ever had the opportunity of hearing.”

“Listen, it’s true, okay? Explaining it would probably mentally fuck you up even worse than you’ve already been, but trust me, it’s entirely true.”

“I’ll take your word for it, I guess. I’m gonna keep thinking it’s weird, but I’ll believe it. I’ve heard weirder shit…”

“What do you… Actually, I don’t want to know,” Henry decided with a small head shake.

“I don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to how your ears flop around now,” the pilot pointed out, poking one of Henry’s new, fluffy ears and making it flick. “It’s so weird to see but, like… it’s adorable! Is your hat, like, uncomfortable now? I can’t imagine it’s very comfortable on the ears…”

“Eh, my main issue is these ears are so furry that they just feel like they’re baking on my head. But if I turn on my AC, the rest of me is gonna be cold, so I’m kind fucked, aren’t I?”

“I feel like taking your hat off might help with that, actually,” the pilot suggested, “At least kinda? More airflow or something? It’s worth a try, right?”

“Hm… guess so.” Henry decided, taking off his hat and setting it beside him, flicking his ears to try to fluff out the fur.

“Henry… Are you trying to make me wanna pet you? Because it’s working. I’m looking at you, and I’m just seeing someone who needs affection, like, right now.”

“I mean, I absolutely will not complain,” He sat up next to Charles, leaning on him expectantly.

“Of course you won’t, you clingy little…” he trailed off, gently scratching behind Henry’s ears, the Toppat leader melting into the touch.

“God, you never realize just how fucking itchy fur is until it’s being scratched…” he sighed contentedly, earning a short laugh from Charles.

“You also never realize just how fluffy it is until you’re actually touching it. I mean, it looked soft, but oh my god! It’s like little clouds on your head!”

“If you’re so obsessed with them, I might have to get you a fur brush attachment for your other hand. It’d be nice having some help maintaining these stupid things…” Henry suggested, watching as Charles’s eye lit up.

“Oh my god, would you? That would be so cool! Y’know, I had a dog when I was little, and I loved brushing her, so it’ll be just like being a kid again, except this time I can actually talk to you!”

“And this time I’m actually your boss. Lots of firsts happening here, huh?” He looked at the pilot with a little smile.

“I take it you want another first to happen here?”

“Just a first kiss, but, y’know, that’s just wishful thinking…”

“Hm, maybe if you’re a good boy~”

“Do NOT!” Henry shoved the pilot away, earning a laugh at his own embarrassment. “Do not pull that ‘Be a good boy’ shit with me. I might be part dog now, but I’m still your chief and can still demote you from head of the aerial assault unit to janitor. So don’t. Okay?”

“Fine, fine, I won’t. Until you decide you actually do like it because, let’s be honest, that’s usually how these things go,” Charles pointed out, and Henry groaned.

“Well, that’s reassuring…” he grumbled sarcastically, crossing his arms. “Well… Let’s just see how things go, I guess.”

[metalobrukht]

The good thing is

that nothing is gonna change cause it's just me staring at the screen and nothing is real and nothing ever happened. End of the day, it's quiet, nothing happened, nothing was real. I write in English and sometimes I think in English because it's not real and you know what I mean. It's not honest. I hope it'll be like this til the end. I hope nothing ever matters. I was scared of death when I was a kid but I was scared of everything. I couldn't sleep. I can now, cause nothing matters, except for waking up and going to work and falling asleep and waking up. I get this feeling, my entire life, that something that shouldn't be here is standing right behind the wall, more real than I am, and now I think, fine. I'm afraid because fear and the thing go together but who in the whole fucking universe gives a shit if I'm afraid to sleep or not.

And if I never think about actual real shit, it's just not there. Nothing that shouldn't get me won't. God will take care -- or won't. I'm a worm with no hands. You know how they're all there after it rains. And then they dry in the sun. Isn't it God who does this?

When the full scale war started we were figuring shit out and standing in the lines to withdraw cash and I couldn't go on social media for a few days. I mean I'm from the central part and we're nowhere fucking near the shit. People hear where I'm from and go "Ah!", you know like if you made a big deal and it turned out to be nothing, and they're right. But those were the most real days in my life. It was like, crisp, the air was cold. Shit mattered that I didn't even know was there. Shit that I perceived as concrete turned out to be wet sludge. And in some way it doesn't feel like a day has passed since then, even though I feel every hour and every minute and my internal clock is always on point, but it's not like. It's not there, it's not for real. I'm not in a real place and these people can't really do anything. Not like actual dissociation, just like, who the fuck are you? Why am I here? Did I actually get here myself? I'm invincible. You can't do shit. Then I open my mouth and it turns out I can't get the sentence out properly cause I didn't do it in ages. God can one shot me if he wants.

And when I open Twitter or AO3 smut or whatever and I'm home. My apartment doesn't feel like home, my actual home doesn't feel like home, at all, but looking at the screen and dissociating does. Going deep into some actually made up unimportant shit and forgetting about anything else. It's what I am. I didn't feel any emotions but angry or horny for idk, about 5 or more years. And there's less and less of it with time. Month of Nothing and going to work. I like the work. I like getting hurt a reasonable amount. I like how it feels when I get sick and everything hurts, or the way I feel right after the headache stops but the numbness is still there. I fucking thought Gollum was hot when I was rewatching LOTR last time. Sometimes Excel spreadsheets turn me on. Those aren't my fucking thoughts I dunno how to explain this, it's not how I would think, it's out of character. The incelship is getting to me fr

[themonotonysyndrome]

oh great Lady mono tone,

i ask for castin headcannons (sorry for any mistakes english isnt my first language)

Since Des confirmed that the baroness is gonna be prego in the next part, how do you think castin would react to the baroness on her monthly cycle (sudden increase on consuming all of her chocolates, her mood swings being snappy or grouchy at one time but then being all calm and slightly more clingy towards him, having to pull herself together in public with painful smile pretend everything is fine while castins beside her panicking at the iron grip she has on his arm). sorry if this seems very OC like. You can Change it how ever you like to fit Celica ❤️❤️❤️❤️

SKFMKDLSMF Good afternoon, sweet Anon! Aww, you don't have to flatter me, ok? I love getting Asks about Celica!

Aite. One set of Castin headcanons with a mercurial Baroness/Celica on her bloody month coming up!

Period headcanons with Castin and Celica:

See, all throughout her life, it's metaphorically (only sometimes, though) beaten into Celica that she must remain composed in public at all times. Or not? Well, watch as the tables are gonna flip over her head, and now she's at the mercy of others.

So that means absolutely no acting out even when you're on your period.

It's cool. It's fine. It's whatever. Like hell would an Imperial Noblewoman ever slip up because of a period? Insane cramps? Fucking walk it off, that's what Celica has been doing all her life. Hell, even her governess would slap her hands with a ruler if she so much as wince! So she got it locked down, baby!

.....And then Castin Hammer happened. And look at that! Slowly but surely, Celica is becoming softer around another human being who isn't one of her guardians. Love wins again!

Sure, marriage life is rocky, and don't get me started on their first meeting, but hey, they're in that spot now where she can tease him in public! But what about her bloodied time of the month?

Well, Castin IMMEDIATELY notices that something is off when the Head Butler suddenly shoves a bunch of candies and sweets into the pockets of his pants without even a single word. And these candies aren't poison! Castin is a smart cookie; he knows this has something to do with his darling wife. His warrior senses are sharpened today!

Oh boy, did it pay off: Celica was snappy when he found her in the office. Her usual decorum is nowhere to be seen as she chucks every report that upsets her and hardly spares Castin a glance until -

"Babe? You, uh, you good?" Castin knew that that was the wrong thing to say when Celica slowly lifted her head to stare at him. OH SHIT -

"Why Castin, whatever could you mean? Did you mean to say that I don't look 'good' in terms of looks, hmm? Do I look particularly like a goblin to you today?"

"Goblin!? N-NO! Nononononono! Celica, honey, light of my life. Mother of my future child - "

"Oh? Am I just a convenient, walking womb to you, Hammer?"

She's bringing out his surname. This is officially an emergency. Luckily for Castin, he remembers the weapons in his pocket and immediately dumps them on his wife's table and prays to the Divine Couple for the best.

Celica freezes. She stares at the pile of candies. And then, like a spooked horse, she slowly unwraps one and starts chewing the treat. Castin could've collapsed onto his knees in relief at that moment dsnfjkndkfndkjngf

"First day of your period, babe?"

"...Yes."

"Can I help you with anything? Anything other than candies?"

Here, Castin is delighted to see his wife squirming in his seat in embarrassment for some reason. He's giddy when she, uncharacteristically in shyness, requested, "Can you... please accompany me today? I could use some of your strength."

"Hell yeah, Celica! Here, maybe it'll help if you do those reports on my lap?" Castin suggests, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively. He fully expects his wife to roll her eyes but much to his surprise, Celica grabs her pen and paper and makes herself comfortable on Castin.

So that's how the rest of their day went by, Celica being adorably clingy in her own way; asking him to sit closer to her during meal times, letting him play with her hair and at point, even squeezing his bicep when Captain Dolion rudely stares at her. Castin took it all with grace, and very much like a besotted husband.

When it comes to her cramps, Castin is ready with a cool cloth to wipe her face whenever she's left breathless. He grimances when Celica insist that she clear most of her work for the day before retiring to the Leisure Room.

After dinner, Castin directs her there so the two can be cosy together. Watching a rom-com and there's a hot waterpack for her stomach while Celica is wearing as little clothing as possible.

All in all, since Castin has been with many women and had a good and firm mother raising him, he won't leave a woman to deal with her period pain alone!

[orionsangel86]

I'm not in the Good Omens fandom, so maybe I've got this wrong, but I suspect why everyone on my dash seems to be clamoring for an immediate fix-it besides obvious fandom impatience. I think a lot of people are convinced that basically nothing is coming back from the strikes. Tbh I kind of am myself. I've just accepted that we're never going to see Sandman s2 or GO s3 because Amazon and Netflix are shit. At least with Sandman we have the books?

I admit its a tough situation to be in. I guess for me, I am trying to have hope that the streamers will eventually see sense, because otherwise their business models are gonna fail and they are going to lose revenue anyway. Eventually some sort of deal will be made and the work will start again, I just hope beyond hope that the deal is everything the WGA and SAGAFTRA want.

I have more hope for a GOS3 than I do for a Sandman tbh. Simply because making films and TV isn't Amazon's main source of income so they can be a bit more flexible with their choices. They have renewed far less popular shows for far longer. It seems almost like the entertainment division is more a hobby or pet project for Amazon than its main focal point so IDK, I'm just not all that worried about Amazon Prime. I genuinely think Amazon is very proud of GO and they won't let go of it anytime soon. It's also one of their most popular shows so I'd be really surprised if they cancel it (though, then again, with the strikes anything can happen). We also still have the BBC backing it up I believe? Though I doubt they'd ever have the budget to take over fully if Amazon decided not to continue with it, but perhaps its possible the BBC could look for a new partner in that unlikely scenario? I dunno I'm not a media expert here by any means.

Sandman though is a different story. Extremely expensive, and on a streaming service notorious for cancelling shows mid season. With the strikes, I can see them changing their minds and cancelling Season 2 even though it started filming in some bitter attempt to get back at strikers and claim tax breaks where they can. I don't trust them at all. I loathe the Netflix execs because they have been cancelling, making excuses, and screwing over creatives for years now. They are the ones that started it all, and the other streamers simply took their ideas and ran with them. I wish Sandman had been on a different streamer. I feel like it would have been safer on Amazon Prime. Even if we do manage to get through to season 2 of Sandman, I have absolutely zero faith that we'll make it through to the end of the story on Netflix.

Though at least with Sandman, I believe (though correct me if I'm wrong) that Neil still holds all the rights, and if Netflix cancels it, he can put the option out to other networks/streamers to pick it up again? So even if Netflix does what Netflix always does, there is every possibility that it'll just jump to a different network to finish the story.

I hope that is the case, because in all honesty if I had to put money down on a bet on whether or not Netflix will follow through with Sandman right through to the Wake, I'll be betting against them. I just don't see it happening. Netflix are too flakey and well, evil, to care about stories to do it justice.

To your first point, I can understand the fear and do sympathise with fans being hurt and upset that GOS2 ended on such a grim cliffhanger, I just don't think the hate and denial and screams of "out of character!" are the way to handle that fear. But diving straight into fanfiction is a totally acceptable and encouraged way to manage the feelings anyone may have over the ending! That's totally fine! Keep the fix-its to fanfiction, but please stop clamouring for reasons why the ending was wrong and bad and stupid and worth sending Neil Gaiman inbox hate over. You're all better than that.

[lvxybby]

It kills me to love you (kai anderson x reader) part 4

he stood there nodding his head. "i understand" he said looking back "plus im no side bitch" i said turning around to look at him "its one or the other" i said moving past him "can you please leave im trying to get ready" i said. "to go where?" he asked. "no where i just wanna feel nice today" i said shrugging my shoulders. "ok...we have a meeting later at 12." he said looking at me before leaving. i hummed and got ready. i did my makeup, hair and got dressed. by the time i was done it was 9:30. i smiled at myself in the mirror. i ignored the band-aid on my head. i left my room and went downstairs. i walked into the kitchen and fixed me a cup of coffee. i finally felt relief as soon as the warm liquid hit my mouth. i smile again as i sip my coffee. "good morning" winter said looking at me. "morning" i said back. "how are you and ivy doing" i asked "were fine..." she said "and oz?" i asked "hes fine too...hes visiting ally today" she said "are you really gonna be his second mom...i think you'll be great at it" i said "ivy wants me to...but i dont know...its just everything thats been happening with kai and all the killings we do...i dont want him to be exposed to it...hell me and ivy are both in this cult and nobody to take care of him when were gone" she said "yeah that is true...but i think you should be there for him. i wouldnt want him around allison...shes fucking crazy...she has so many phobias..." i said taking a sip of my coffee. "i know...ivy wants me to with her to pick up oz later..." she said. "she keeps saying it'll be fine but im scared allison will cause a scene and we really dont need that" she continued. "yeah...she'll be screaming "you fucked my wife you fucked my wife you bitch" i said laughing a bit. winter also laughed. "you look really nice" she said looking at my makeup and hair. "thanks...ok guess what meadow did this morning" i said. "what..." "so i woke up to see her in my room for some bullshit reason and she hit me with her bag so i fought her" i said "oh shes got some balls. i know how much you hate her...do you still have the hots for my brother?" she asked "yeah..." i said "dont worry i wont tell." she said walking closer. "i know you wont" i said smiling "well i should get going...ivy will be here any minute now..." she said backing up "ok then be safe" i said turning around and going out front. i sat on the porch with my coffee. kai has a really nice yard its so clean and the flower bed is beautiful. he has some really good yard guys. i finish my coffee and go inside to clean my dish. i lean over the sink as i wash my cup. "got a nice ass Y/N" i heard a familiar voice say. i turned around to see samuels looking at me, leaning on the island. "arent you gay?" i said "im not gay im masculine" he said a bit pissed. "sooo you like dick up your ass but your not gay? so...winter is masculine cause shes gay?" i asked "mind your manners" he said "mind yours and stop staring at my ass before i cut your dick off" i said pulling a knife from the drying rack. "what the fuck" kais voice over took the room "what the fuck? uh WHY the fuck are you everywhere!" i said looking at him "my house" he said "not rea- yeah its your house" i said realising i was about to cross a personal line with kai. he sighed a bit before leaving me and samuels alone again. i set the knife down and left to go to my room. i pulled out my phone and decided to just scroll on instagram for a while... i heard a knock on my door. "come in" i said looking. kai peeked his head inside. "meeting lets go" he said before shutting it. i stood up and left the room and followed kai down to the basement. no one was there yet so i just leaned against the wall in my usual spot. "Y/N...c'mere" kai said. i walked over to him and waited for what he was going to say. "wanna help me with something tonight? its really easy" he said "so your giving me easy shit now" i said chuckling a bit. "well i thought you deserved a bit of a break from working with meadow...but if you dont wa-" i cut him off "i'll do it i swear any day ill do it" i said a bit eager