#it'd be literally illegal to not
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@love-killed-the-superstar Following our recent discussions, I just need to point out again that Shredder burned down April's whole ass shop in the first season of 2k3, and after she rebuilt it identically, brick by brick, he is STILL like Hm. I wonder where I may be able to find my enemies now. Such a mystery. Alas.
Meanwhile, Karai is like "I need to deliver a threat to Leonardo. I'll just leave it with April" and breezes into the shop pretty as you please.
#the foot mystics were apparently under Shredder's control for literal CENTURIES#he just never did anything with them except guard his private elevator i guess#meanwhile Karai is in charge of their amulet for all of three episodes before she is like yo.#How about you psychically flush out the turtles and also tell me where they live.#AND THEY DO.#This isn't even me going into Shredder sending STOCKMAN IN A WHEELCHAIR to check out the burnt down shop like#there was POLICE OUTSIDE when it blew up. If they had found seven burnt corpses in the wreckage don't you think it'd have made the paper.#but noooo. send your henchman in a wheelchair accompanied by ILLEGAL BANK ROBBERY ROBOTS to check out the rubble instead.#the shredder is so comically incompetent.#my wife and I often joke how freaking efficient the foot in Japan must be in comparison.#Foot Clan Japan: A legion of hyper skilled warriors operating in the shadows led by a mega competent operative with larger picture thinking#Foot Clan New York: We put our symbol on a skyscraper. Also if you're good enough at stealing car radios we will promote you to ninja.#Still 99% convinced the reason Karai doesn't get anything impressive done until the Shredder is gone is because she is too busy#cleaning up all his PR nightmares while he's still alive
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side-eyes zzz and twst like hmmm
#i just think it'd be fun to drop the zzz sibs who live in a postapocalptic world and work as illegal proxies while pretending to be#law abiding citizens into twst where like. they're surrounded by teenagers who are like 'i'm so bad' and they've literally never been wante#by a government in their life#fic idea#zenless zone zero#twisted wonderland#will i ever write this? no probably not#but i'm laughing thinking about it
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this is a given with any muse i pick up btw but just to double down- ena has fangies >:]
#` ooc || move bitch im 𝙂𝘼𝙔 `#( i mean her race is literally descended from wyverns so like )#( she cant NOT have fangs )#( it'd be illegal )#( sdhjbf )#( anyways i wanna draw her so brb )
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idc if he look dumpy during the ps3 era i dont blame mine at all for jumping off the roof after daigo smiles at him like that
#snap chats#rise and shine we're crying about the end of Y3 again !!!!!!!#im still thoroughly obsessed with mine whimpering and crying#unfortunately he does not actually whimper but you can see it. you can see his lips quiver and he's two seconds away from crying#AND THIS IS WHY BRO#he was really bouta kill this man.. my god.. if it were anyone else it'd be indefensible...#still insane but mine ill forgive you because i like you and thats literally it#mental illness keeps trying to manifest LaD3 and GOD id probably shit and cry watching Y3 scenes with Y7 daigo's model#bro ILLEGALLY handsome in that game... my god... got me crying and thanking the lord i'm still alive
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“i’m not the bad guy you think i am”
“i got a boat that can get us off the island… we gotta get out of here, it’s better if we work together”
“they’re going to find john b and your sister” “sucks for them, that’s good for us tho”
“i told you we just had to work together”
“i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”
“i know your friends and my sister are on the island, i’m not helping them, i can’t trust them okay… i’ll give you a ride out but not them”
“i mean i always liked you kie, you’re at least half kook”
+
“i just lose control in moments like that, i’m trying to get better” kiara nodding along and her small “okay” as he explains himself
and her “oh god” and teary eyes when he starts slapping himself
HOW is this canon we were fed a full course meal 😭
okay anon you did it-- this delicious assortment of canon dialogue is the straw that broke the camel's back bc now i've got a new fic in the works directly based off of the line “i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”
or, the one where sarah was right and ward/rafe are the ones after them and rafe accidentally kidnaps kiara instead of sarah and uses her as extortion >:)
#and also the “im not the bad guy you think i am” line..... did i not have that in chap 3 of bad habit??#bc i remember writing something like that bc of the darkling and felt rafe was angsty enough to say some shit like that#feeling so happy with canon rn#living life loving life <3#anyway for the new fic (no ETA at all rn) it'd be kiara being taken back to Guadeloupe#and forced proximity (the greatest trope ever imo) where she's trying to get away but there's literally no way to and rafe is all#"???? wtf are u tryin to do ur safe here???#and kiara is very much Not for that and is always like “they're gonna come for me”#and he's an absolute dick and is very much “hm sure how sweet”#ANYWAY#it'd be a morally grey kiara which i'm gonna need to roll up my sleeves to do but the way i'm seeing it its totally possible#absolute carnage of them getting involved in some dark ass underbelly of illegal markets for the cross#i need to figure out how long it's gonna be first and work with that#reluctant allies ultimately#enemies with benefits#asks#riara
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My humble opinions on SDV Characters and their relationships with the Devil's Lettuce.
#stardew valley#tier list#weed#tw drug use#ppl who say Harvey would be pro-weed are wack he's a small town doctor he's probably misinformed as hell#also if it's illegal in the valley he would not risk that shit#he's sending you to rehab#Also Elliott probably tried it in College but he's a huge hypocrite now he's older#Non-human means they'd give you that raid shadow legends pack w/o thinking abt how it'd kill you#Penny is OK with it bc Pam deals but if she ever tried to sell to a kid she'd literally murder her#and I'll stand by that Evelyn's cookies are edibles until the day I die
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tattoos around top surgery scars>>>>>>>>>>
#literally the dream#i really wanna put like a song lyric just over mine when i get top surgery#cause those scars would be important for me as a part of my own way of#making my body mine#and it's more or less close to my heart as well so it'd be nice symbolically#my one concern is that when i get old and wrinkled the words might get warped and illegible#but that's a problem for future me innit :]
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gb is so scary i'm so glad boston isn't real !!!
#i yell into the abyss#i started to think. hey. when leon dragged michael out of the bar. did the other bar-goers just. stand there? stand there and watch?#''oh hey a man is being violently dragged out of here by someone who just stormed in!#i'm sure that this isn't assault and that he isn't about to be beaten to a bloody pulp in a dark alleyway and that his life isn't in danger#and that we absolutely do not need to intervene or question anything at all!''#like....... guys?????????? hello!#this prompted me to remind myself in detail about how horrible michael's co-workers are#they barely even knew him and they all wanted him dead!!!!!!!!!! bet money on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and the ONLY person who bet on him NOT going on a bender and dying in a dumpster is someone who just thought it'd be “too convenient”#that woman. allegedly. got about 250 dollars from winning the bet.#which.#doubtlessly.#is significantly less than the amount that EACH of them got INDIVIDUALLY when michael ILLEGALLY UNFROZE their PAYCHECKS!!!!!!!!!!!!#THEY BASICALLY BET ON HIS ULTIMATE FATE. WITH MONEY. THAT HE. GAVE THEM.#...............i wonder if abdul participated in the bet. lol.#another thing michael and nica have in common is that they are both consistently forsaken by the general masses of massachusetts#i'm half convinced that if michael got thrown into a zoo exhibit the security guards would cheer and clap as he gets mauled by the hippos#literally WHAT did he DO????????????/#grater bluecheese#michael tate#god. is boston really like this in real life? horror podcast#greater boston spoilers
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tbh, KOSA will honest to god bring about not 15, not 20.
but 100s of data breaches, I don't think people understand how genuinely horrible most people are with cyber security.
like RIP to all government people and like whatever because that's how the post privacy world happens lol
listen I do not care about losing fandom spaces I do not care about not being able to read fanfic. what I AM worried about is having to Give A Fucking ID to access the internet. That is an INSANE, APOCALYPTIC breach of privacy and arguably a way bigger problem than losing TikTok. idk that’s just my opinion maybe some people can’t live without their a03. fuck kosa I’m gonna go live in the woods alone where the government will not be able to find me
#-pop#me: SCREAMMMING I AM GOING TO BE CENSORED FOR EXISTING BECAUSE MY EXISTENCE IN THE EYES OF THE AMERICAN GOVERMENT IS ADULT#also me: wait... KOSA is like 3x illegal in the EU there is some hope after all#anyway. either way. all American social media's and stuff based there is going to become literally inaccessible to the rest of the world at#best. or at worst completely deleted#idk how on gods earth they would even enforce such a thing on the internet seeing how it's literally International and global and like ther#is billions of websites. texts. games. and the whole DARKWEB#to force to comply with KOSA.#I doubt it'd happen seeing as uh. the mods for all this stuff literally have horrible PTSD and there needs to be 4x the amount of mods for#it to even work let alone 'keep the kids safe' there's too much on here lol. if you could moderate the internet it would be. it's a#sisyphean task LOL#more like a fools errand. people have tried YouTube literally has ten thousand plus people moderating and like you STILL see gore and murde#like EVEN IF kosa goes through it would be almost impossible to enforce due to the shear SCALE of how much they would have to censor. which#all in all is impossible because VPN's and spoofing exists and what is actually stopping people from just switching to EU internet or hell#even just censor themselves but speak in family friendly?#like again it's more harm than good it's incredibly stupid and will just force bad people to be sneaky and hurt more people than normal#kosa#kosa bill#stop kosa#activism stuff
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I feel like I've complained about Tim's email situation in Gotham Knights before (edit: I have), but the truth of it is just so funny.
He's signed up for so many podcasts, video game streamers, and random news alerts; it's just a constant barrage of data going straight into his constantly whirring brain. Hell, he even floats the idea of the Batfamily having their own podcast as a way to correct misinformation about them (which Jason shoots down instantly), and it's made me realize something.
Timothy Drake would be a YouTuber.
In this universe specifically, Timothy Jackson Drake, the heir to Drake Industries and the foster son of the late Bruce Wayne would be a YouTuber.
Think about it. It'd be the perfect cover. Who would ever suspect that some 16-year-old nepo baby with a YouTube channel could ever be Red Robin? You'd have to be mad. I mean, look at him.
Red Robin just dropped out of literal thin air and garotted someone four times his size, and you expect anyone to believe that's the same kid who does 24-hour Minecraft charity streams and occasionally drops 6-hour video essays (his last one was on Lex Luthor's illegal bit mining operation on the moon)?
That kid?
You think that kid is Red Robin?
Ch'yah, okay, sure. And the Joker is funny 🤡.
#gotham knights game#I'm now incorporating this into all my Tim headcanons across the multiverse#twice a week as part of maintaining his Normal Teenager Identity#he streams random shit on YouTube/Twitch#he's got the full gamer set up in the background#LED lights around the ceiling and walls#rainbow keyboard/headset#mini fridge filled with Monster Energy Drinks#(other streamers have 'take a shot' prompts in chat. his audience has 'drink water before you die')#whenever he hosts a charity stream Bruce makes an appearance in chat via the official Wayne Enterprises account#and promises to match whatever they raise#and then hangs about for a bit to cheer Tim on#he's the epitome of 'are ya winning son?' meme#meanwhile off screen#Tim's keeping an eye on a seperate monitor#and helping Babs run remote ops#if his stream suddenly dies (which is does fairly often) he blames it on the Manor having shitty wifi#and that tracks#it's an old house#it's probably FILLED with lead and dead signal spots#in reality Tim killed the stream because Red Robin is needed#and no one will ever know
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so my prof didn’t post a study guide for the final (which is web-cammed with no notes & worth 30% of our grade)…& i emailed her last week to which she said she would email another professor to see if she had a study guide (why don’t you have a study guide from last semester? it’s your class??) and she finally got back to me to say...no study guide...here’s 8 different chapters to read, good luck...oh my god.
#see if it was open note or like one page of notes it'd be fine#but going over the homework...30 questions a chapter 8 chapters that's 240 questions to memorize & idk which ones are gonna be on the final#idk maybe i've been spoiled & this is the Reality of college Or Whatever but not providing a final study guide under these conditions--#feels illegal#& i really wanted to write & update my fic but i gotta worry about the study guide & the end of my calc class & my room is a wreck--#& i'm literally sitting on a pile of laundry that needs to be put away#i'm a mess#i will be a mess for the next three weeks#yay#tw vent#rose.txt
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I had a roommate in high school, whose rich dad had kicked her onto the street after a fight. We were barely acquaintances prior; her friends' families suddenly went mute about helping, but she had my phone number and my mom was lowkey known for being helpful if you wanted to do an end run around a controlling parent. She ended up sleeping on a mattress on my floor for like, two years?
Anyways she couldn't get financial aid, couldn't get a merit scholarship, and her dad would only pay for school if she went to exactly the school he demanded, studied what he demanded, lived and wore and acted how he demanded, oh and also broke up with her boyfriend.
I don't think she ever saw a penny of that wealth, and she's yet to get a degree past her GED.
As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.
#child abuse#financial abuse#all caps#tbh this isn't even getting fully started with 'do exactly as I say or I'll cut you off'#rich relatives covering your down payment on a house and helping with monthly payments#but ONLY if you buy something well above your means#so if you piss them off you'll be swimming so deeply in debt you can't escape#rich relatives giving you loans instead of presents#sometimes a rich parent is a golden ticket and sometimes they're the world's most nightmarish landlord#like imagine if your landlord could make medical decisions for you#and it'd be illegal for you to move out#sometimes they literally charge their kids rent#it's fucked up
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Imagine if Arthur had also been keeping a diary this whole time. It'd have been all "Jack Jack Jack Jack" and from the 29th on he'd have to be like ~Dr John Seward~
I quite like the idea that Arthur has been keeping a diary this entire time, only Mina didn't include it with the documents for some reason. Possible reasons include:
His spelling is appalling and his handwriting is illegible, so it would be too much effort to type up.
It is so embarrassingly soppy about literally everyone that even Mina I-heart-my-husband-forever Harker thought that it was a bit much to share.
It is extremely explicit and makes it very clear that Arthur and Lucy did not wait until marriage before getting it on, and in fact did so at every possible opportunity.
It's full of unprintable and defamatory bitchy gossip about the entire upper crust of British society.
Literally the entire thing about about his dogs, like "Thinking about breeding Rascal to Scamper. Will need to wait for Scamper's hurt paw to heal, though. The veterinarian thinks this may need to be Scamper's final pregnancy, but Tibbles should have her first season soon so we'll be able to continue the bloodline there. Mr Snuggles on excellent form. Puddle caught three rats this afternoon. Stocks up 2% since Wednesday. VH says Lucy may be a vampire."
#dracula daily#ask and askance#have to admit that i've lost track of whether i or someone else has made this joke before
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pairing; max verstappen x fem! red bull admin! reader [ no faceclaim ]
a/n; first post since i returned WE'RE SO BACK BESTIES; happy 1 year anniversary to this absolute masterpiece and thank you all for your continuous support :D i have no words to describe how grateful i am to be back making these silly little fics.
[ series masterlist ]
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mercedesamgf1 Baku wrapped. Some of our fave shots from the weekend you haven’t seen yet 📸😎
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grussellsprout ADMIN WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT ON SLIDE 2?
mercedesamgf1 The legend herself was on facetime! @ ynusername ynusername stop trying to butter me up, replacement mercedesamgf1 :(
ceruleanwilliams KIMI SPOTTED
staraikkonen mercedes! give us more musketeers content and my life is yours
mercedesamgf1 Will do 🫡
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ynusername touching grass because killing george is illegal
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georgerussell63 26°21'28"N 127°47'01"E
dannyavocado KIMI ANTONELLI FOR 2024 🗣️
ynusername YESSSSS
checo_slayrez caption is very demure, very mindful
mickschumacher boooooooo
frederikvestiofficial I'm sorry I can't do it😭 mickschumacher we talked about this fred frederikvestiofficial It's so mean 😭😭😭 ynusername you can do it honey frederikvestiofficial OKAY HERE I GO frederikvestiofficial boo ynusername not enough energy I NEED TO FEEL THE HATE frederikvestiofficial BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL THE HATE??? ynusername C'MONNN DO IT frederikvestiofficial BOOOOO ynusername YEAH BABYYY YOU'VE GOT IT
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ynusername your sign to go rewatch barbie and the three musketeers
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totowolff 😐
ynusername how many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man
georgerussell63 Going out with a bang 😌
lewishamilton If I never hear the word "slay" again, it'd be too soon
maxverstappen1 Slay
frederikvestiofficial Dutchess Ivana Parte in the house
ynusername oh lady barbecue, the pleasure was all mine
mickschumacher finalizing our divorce because you ate my last slice
ynusername oh no whatever shall i do guess im not y/n l/n-verstappen-schumacher anymore
charles_leclerc Wait the tryouts are over? You didn't even look at my resume
maxverstappen1 I tried ynusername sorry buddy, rule #15: no charles leclerc charles_leclerc Damn
kimi.antonelli This is the best thing that's happened since sliced bread
ynusername son you're literally getting in f1 next year kimi.antonelli My point still stands
taglist: @notyouraveragemochii @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @darththrog @slytherheign @idkkkkrkkk @alwaysclassyeagle @scenesofobx @nmw-am @thomaslefteyebrow @sheridamn @mishaandthebrits @cabbyhabs @celesteblack08 @minkyungseokie @cassiopeiia24 @flyclaren @inthestars-underthesun @raizelchrysanderoctavius @baw-sixteen @chiliwhore @lokietro @judespoision @elliegrey2803 @lanando4 @glitterf1 @desideriumlove @struggling-with-space @ravisinghs-wife @jsjcue @i-m-in-loki-s-army @nzygftoji (happy 1 year anniversaryyyy)
#⚔️ max and the three musketeers#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen au#max verstappen#f1 social media au#f1#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 instagram au#instagram au#social media au#max verstappen imagine
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Miscommunication
Kol Mikaelson x Reader
Masterlist - Join My Taglist!
Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries/The Originals
Summary: You've finally worked up the courage to ask Kol on a date, but with all the people who've been trying to kill him lately, he jumps to the wrong conclusion about what's being asked of him. Set right after TVD "A View To A Kill", if Jeremy didn't succeed in killing Kol.
Word Count: 2,517
Category: Fluff, Humor
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
"Hello, love. I wasn't expecting to get a call from you."
I grinned at the voice of the youngest Mikaelson brother coming through the other end of the phone. I'd met him at the Grill a few weeks ago, and we'd pretty much immediately hit it off. I'd been trying to work up the courage to ask him out ever since, and after overhearing his siblings talking about how close he'd come to dying recently, I'd decided to stop wasting time and just give him a call.
"Hi Kol. Uh, I know this is kind of out of the blue, but... well, I wanted to see if you wanted to maybe get together at some point and... talk. Hang out. All that... stuff..."
I grimaced. I'd never done this before, and it was probably painfully obvious, especially to a vampire with a literal thousand years of experience.
"You want to get together and talk?" asked Kol, a lilt to his voice that I couldn't quite decipher. Everything in me screamed that I should bail out, but I grit my teeth and forced myself to toughen up.
"Yeah. If that's something you'd want to do."
"Oh, it very much is." My heart stopped. I'd been sure this call was about to be a total fumble, but apparently, somehow it'd worked? "What did you have in mind?"
"Uh..." I mentally kicked myself. I'd spent so much time trying to work up the nerve to actually call him, I hadn't thought at all about what I would do if he actually said yes. "Well, I don't know. Is there anywhere you'd especially like to meet up? Or anything you'd like to do?"
"How about your house?" The doorbell rang. "Right now?"
My brain short circuited. He was here?��Now? I wasn't ready at all! The house was fairly clean, and I didn't look like a total mess, but I also wasn't ready for a date! And wasn't a first date supposed to be about thirty degrees more chill and removed, like a going to a movie or dinner or something?
I forced myself to take a deep breath. Yes, this was technically a first date, but Kol and I had interacted before. We were friendly, maybe even friends. It's not like he was some stranger I was about to let into my home.
"Uh, sure. Now is... now is good. I take it you're the one at my door?"
"Yes I am, darling."
"Okay. Well, then... I guess I'll see you in a second."
I hung up the phone before I could make any more of a fool of myself, paused at the mirror in the hallway to quickly adjust my outfit, then strode confidently to the front door. If I pretended to be confident, it would probably rub off and turn into the real thing, right?
I swung open my door to find a grinning Kol on the other side, one arm raised and resting against the doorframe. My heart did a little backflip at that, and I just hoped his vampire senses hadn't clued him in on it.
"Well? Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Oh! Right, yeah, come on in, Kol."
He grinned at me as he slowly, deliberately put one foot over the threshold, then the other. He paused once he officially stood in my house, facing me with a look like he expected me to have some kind of reaction. I just gave him a smile.
"Welcome in. Uh, I'll be honest, I wasn't really prepared for you to come over, like, now. But we can make some drinks, maybe play a board game or something? I actually think I have an at-home dart board buried somewhere around here if you want to get your ass kicked like you did the first time we met."
Kol huffed a laugh, a smaller, more genuine smile pulling onto his face as he shook his head at me.
"Well, now we have to play, don't we? I can't let my honor be tarnished without fighting back."
"I think it only counts as tarnishing your honor if it's not true," I mused as I led Kol into the kitchen, incredibly aware of how closely he followed behind me. If vampires could hear heart beats, then I was well and truly screwed.
"Exactly. I didn't get my ass kicked in darts, so what you said wasn't true."
I paused long enough to give Kol a judgey look over my shoulder, then walked around to the cabinets behind the kitchen island.
"Alright, I'll go dig out the dartboard in a minute, but let's figure out drinks first. I'll be honest, I'm not the best bartender, but I'll see what I can do."
"Here, let me. I'm an excellent bartender."
Kol reached for the bottles in my hand, but I paused, holding them slightly away from him. He leaned into me, and my heart did its stupid jumping jacks again, although I ignored it. Instead, I fixed Kol with another look.
"Are you an excellent bartender in the way you're an excellent dart player? Or are you actually an excellent bartender?"
Kol shook his head, an edged smile spread on his face as he reached across me and took the bottles from my hands. I was more than a little disappointed when he pulled away.
"Alright, I'm going to make us some drinks while you go and get that dart board, right now. We're going to settle this, once and for all."
"I'm still not totally sure that I actually have it," I reminded him, walking backwards out of the kitchen. Kol just hummed, shooting me one last look as he got to work on the drinks before I turned the corner.
As soon as I was out of his sight, I paused to take a few deep breaths. I was starting to feel seriously giddy hanging out with him like this, and I needed to calm the hell down. It was a casual first date, after all. I didn't need to get ahead of myself.
Once the butterflies in my chest had settled down a bit, I walked the rest of the way to the hall closet, or what I thought of as my junk closet. It was packed with things that were just useful or sentimental enough that I didn't want to throw them away, but that basically never came in handy on a regular basis. If that dartboard someone had gotten me for my birthday a few years ago was anywhere, it would be here.
I dug through a few boxes I thought might be likely candidates, trying to remember where past me might've put things last time I'd organized everything. Finally, after what felt like way too much searching, I found it at the bottom of a box on a higher shelf. Even better, a bag with all the darts still together was with it.
I grinned, doing a little triumphant fist pump to myself before turning to head out of the closet. In the doorway, however, I found Kol hovering, watching me intently, a menacing air about him that hadn't been there earlier.
"Hey... what are you doing?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow at me and crossed his arms.
"Me? I was about to ask you the same thing, darling. It really took you that long to find the dart board?"
I furrowed my eyebrows at him, watching for any clues as to what the hell he was doing before briefly glancing away to check the time my phone. Honestly, it hadn't even been that long.
"I mean, yes? Have you looked around this closet at all since you got here? It's a mess. How long have you been standing there, anyway?"
"I'm not an idiot, sweetheart," he said instead of answering me, taking another step forward. I narrowed my eyes at him. "I know you're back here messaging your little friends, trying to set up another ambush for me after the first one didn't work. I know how you Mystic Falls people like to operate."
My frown deepened. "Kol, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Don't play innocent with me, darling, it won't work. So who have you been texting?"
"No one, other than you! I knew you were acting weird on the phone, and when you first showed up. I thought my nerves were just getting the better of me, but apparently not."
"Nerves for what? Don't tell me Jeremy's going to come bursting through the door playing Van Helsing again."
"Jeremy who, Kol? Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about."
For the first time since he'd appeared in the closet doorway, Kol seemed to believe me. His look changed from borderline threatening to almost as confused as my own.
"Jeremy Gilbert."
I paused, trying to place the name. It sounded familiar, but it took me a little while to figure out why.
"That's... Elena Gilbert's little brother? Right?"
"Yes. You're actually trying to tell me you don't know him?"
I scoffed. "Kol, of course I don't know him. I graduated from high school when he was still in middle school. I barely remember him or his sister."
He studied me, eyes scanning my face, apparently looking for some sign of a lie. I just watched him back, waiting on some kind of explanation for this to make sense.
"So you're not working with Elena and her little group of friends, then? Or either of the Salvatores?"
"No, Kol. Working with them on what?"
"You're not lying."
"I know I'm not lying! Now what the hell are you talking about?"
Kol sighed, slumping back against the doorframe a little, the tension easing out of his body although he still looked a little confused. I could relate.
"Elena and Jeremy tried to kill me not too long ago," he said, as if he was saying they'd asked him for directions on the street. "Elena tried to keep me busy by lying about wanting to discuss a truce with me. I assumed this was a terrible second attempt at the same thing."
I sighed, shaking my head and closing my eyes for a beat as I leaned against the shelf behind me. I knew he was a vampire, and I'd even known someone had tried to kill him recently. But somehow, I'd underestimated the level of ridiculous drama and miscommunication that would likely create.
"Yikes. Well... I'm glad you survived, and I can honestly tell you that I'm not a part of any plot to try to kill you. I can't even remember the last time I talked to Elena, and the only time I've ever talked to either of the Salvatores was when Damon was drunk and hit on me at the Grill."
Kol snorted. "Sounds familiar."
"I'm sure."
The two of us stayed put, neither moving to stand up or leave the closet, neither speaking either. The silence just hung, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do next, so it was a relief when Kol leaned forward, the menace in his posture gone and replaced by tentative curiosity.
"You know, this leaves us with a very important question."
"And what's that?"
"If you weren't trying to drive a stake through my heart... why did you call me and ask to meet up?"
And just like that, the relief was replaced with sheer nervous panic.
"Uh... well..."
Kol grinned and took a few steps towards me.
"You said you wanted to get together and talk," he said, a teasing tone to his voice that made my heart speed up at the same time that it made me want to give him a shove. "What exactly did you want to talk about, if not murdering me?"
I shook my head, trying and failing to keep a smile off my face. Kol was well and truly in my space now, standing right in front of me, one arm over my head and leaning against the shelf behind me. Based on the grin he gave me when I met his eyes, I got the feeling he could hear my heart racing.
"I... Well, I was trying to ask you on a date."
"Were you now?" asked Kol, his shit eating grin doubling in size. I huffed.
"Yes. And it took a lot of effort to work up the courage to actually go through with it, so if you're just messing with me right now with the whole leaning into my space and flirting thing, I might actually join Team Try To Kill Kol."
Kol just laughed and shook his head, leaning in a little bit further as he did. I couldn't help a subconscious glance at his lips, and with the way they curled up even further, I knew he'd noticed.
"I'd never dream of messing with you about this, darling. Honestly, this is the best news I've gotten in days. If I hadn't been working to keep a few different people from killing me, I would've asked you out a week ago."
I grinned. "Really?"
"Absolutely."
I huffed a happy, disbelieving laugh as Kol leaned the rest of the way in, his lips finding mine. Fireworks exploded in my chest at the sensation, especially as he wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. My hands found his shoulders, holding on tightly, and when I finally pulled away after a few long, long moments, I was a little breathless and a little dizzy.
"Now that was worth thinking I was about to be vampire-slayed," said Kol, grinning at me before starting to lean in again. I laughed, but put a hand to his chest to stop him.
"I agree, but this is still a first date. I want to actually talk to you and get to know you beyond the few conversations we've had at the Grill, not just make out in my closet."
"You didn't like making out in the closet?"
"I didn't say that." Kol grinned, and I gave him an exasperated smile of my own. "I like this, Kol, a lot. But I could've just kept flirting at you with the Grill if all I wanted was to make out with you. Dates are supposed to be... a little more than that, at least to me."
Kol sighed, bringing his hand up to cup my chin and running his thumb across my lips before stepping back. My heart was doing backflips, and from the smirk on his face, I knew he could tell.
"Alright then, darling. I'll give your version of a date a try. As much as I like making out in closets, it might be nice to just talk to you for a bit, too."
I beamed at him. "Good. Although, it doesn't have to be all talk." I retrieved the dartboard that had been shoved back onto a shelf when Kol had first gotten in my space and held it up. "We have a few things to settle, after all."
"Oh yes we do. Come on love, our drinks are waiting in the kitchen. You're going to need one, so you have something to blame your loss on later tonight."
"Keep talking, Twilight. It's just gonna make it that much sweeter when I win."
****************
Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989
TVD/TO Taglist: @elenavampire21
#sophie's year of fic#the vampire diaries#the originals#kol mikaelson#kol mikaelson x reader#the vampire diaries fanfiction#the vampire diaries oneshot#the vampire diaries imagine#the originals fanfiction#the originals oneshot#the originals imagine#kol mikaelson fanfiction#kol mikaelson oneshot#kol mikaelson imagine#jeremy gilbert#elena gilbert#the vampire diaries x reader#the originals x reader#tvd#tvdu
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D(ebbie): HEYYYYYYY SAMANTHA!!!!!! V(ilmr): Hiiii!
S(amantha): Hehe, hi Debbie, hi Vilmr. S: Can you see me alright? D: Yeah I can see you, and that smelly boy behind you too. V: I can smell him from here. D: YEAH bleuch! We can smell him from here!!! M(ichael): --Oh! M: Oh jeez, when you said you were gonna call I didn't think you meant like, right away-- D: SAMANTHA can you see us? S: Yes, we can see you too Debbie.
M: Hey you two! M: What's up? D: Oh my gosh he doesn't even know what's up!!! D: Don't you know what day it is?! M: Oh, uh...! M: The... eleventh? V: The twelfth actually, on the other side of the world. D: Yeah DUH. M: I-- I didn't think that was relevant? D: Omfggggg nnnnnnnOTHING. D: You. D: Know. D: NOTHING............... V: It's the twelfth where it's happening right now! V: That's the whole reason we're calling! S: Michael, there's a full eclipse happening soon, remember? S: It's all we've been hearing about for weeks now. M: Oh! M: Shoot, that's tonight? D: Um, uh-durrrr? M: The sun's already setting though :/ M: Too bad we won't be able to see it... V: Aht! D: YEAH AHT AHT! D: That is where you are wrong! S: Michael, Debbie says she's found someone who's streaming the eclipse, all the way from Wootosh. M: Woah, what? M: How did you even manage to access something like that? D: Yeah I mean whatever, you know? D: Only took me all day to find but whatever, like, I have my sources, no big deal. S: It's very exciting, Debbie.
M: Actually Vilmr, I'm surprised you aren't with Maja right now while this is going on. M: An eclipse definitely sounds like it'd be important to her, right? V: Guuuhhhhhh, don't remind me. V: She has been trying to get a hold of me for nearly an hour now. D: Yeah and she can live, it's not like you're the one who believes in that junk. D: Literally no reason for you to be over there. V: Yeah but... it could be one of those times where it's really serious for her. V: She is going to be sooo mad when I get home. V: Maybe I really should get back soon. D: UMMM??? D: No, you're basically an adult now, you're like 18 you can do what you want. S: I don't even think you could make it in time if you left now, Vilmr. S: That's a pretty long walk... D: Yeah it's a long walk! D: So literallyyyyyy, just stay here. D: Don't stress your head all up about what she might or might not be thinking. V: Buh... D: ANYWAY.
[[ Debbie sends a link to the livestream ]]
D: There's the stream Samantha. S: yey -v- S: Michael, are you gonna watch with us?
M: Heck, why not. M: As long as this isn't illegal or anything, right? M: Haha... M: ...Right? S: I dunno about that. M: S: *yawn* S: Debbie? D: Okay Wootosh doesn't own the eclipse, first off. D: So freaking WHAT if it's an orc who set it up or whatever. D: And second, I dug deep to find this stream and NONE of you are gonna chicken out about it. D: And nobody's gonna FALL ASLEEP BEFORE IT HAPPENS EITHER, SMUMANTHA... S: Michael's here to make sure I stay awake, don't worry Debbie. M: Haha, yeah. D: yeah okay sure. V: Hey actually, it sort of doesn't make sense for me to even be here? V: I just realized this? D: Yes it does IT DOES MAKE IT SENSE. D: IT'S THE MOOD. D: IT'S THE VIBES. D: Even if you can't see it you still get to say you were there......... V: But... I'm literally not? D: FIGURATIVELY. D: Open your mind Vilmr. D: Or your third eye or whatever Maja would want you to have open-- whatever! D: You're STAYING HERE DOSH GARNIT. V: I don't plan on going anywhere, I'm just saying!!! V: Åh, Maja förlåt mig...
M: So um, is it supposed to be so grainy? D: Yeah I guess. D: I dunno. D: That's just how I found it. S: It looks like it still has a little while before it starts. V: It starts at 7:15 tonight. D: Sooooo we got like half an hour to kill then. V: Killing the hours away is what we do best, is it not? D: So true. D: That being saiiiiiid...
D: Samantha! D: Michael. D: What are you guys up to, huh? V: ...? D: What's up. D: Over at Michael's place to day huh? D: What's that about? D: Huh? M: Oh, I invited her over, she was home alone and...-- S: ......... M: Samantha, hey, don't fall asleep just yet, haha... D: Samantha I see you falling asleep. D: Samantha. D: MICHAEL WAKE HER UP BETTER SHE'S GONNA MISS THE-- S: *snort* S: mh-- S: Sorry, I'm here... S: What did you say, Debbie? D: Nevermindddddddd, just like-- D: BRRRBBRBTGGRRNGHBRRR....... D: Come on, let's just chat. D: Like let's just keep ourselves occupied, okay. D: Like we gotta see this, when is the next time we're ever gonna see something like this??? V: Uh like, four or five years from now I'm pretty sure. V: If I remember what Maja told me at least. D: And what about it??? D: That's like. FOREVER from now. D: WE COULD BE DEAD BY THEN. M: Oh jeez, I hope not...! D: LIVE IN THE NOW!!!!!! S: Debbie you're getting me so hyped up, hehe... D: GOOD! D: LET'S GET HYPE ABOUT IT AND STAY AWAKE ABOUT IT AND STUFF!
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