#it���s wild that dan and phil are dan and phil like

[readthephible]

120 misc ship questions | shaymien edition

buckle the fuck up guys /pos

1. who rushes to open doors for the other?

damien

2. who drives more often?

either

3. who is more eager to jump in the shower with the other?

damien

4. who takes self care more seriously?

both but probably damien

5. what’s a song that reminds you of them?

starlight - muse / rather be - clean bandit / everywhere - fleetwood mac / j’s lullaby - delaney bailey + every song i’ve used to make an edit of them with (everything i know about love - laufey, end of beginning - djo, you & me song - the wannadies)

6. what’s another couple / duo (real or fictional) that reminds you of them?

ian and anthony tbh (also dan and phil but i don’t think anyone cares about my explanation)

7. which one keeps more things because they’re sentimental?

shayne

8. which one tells their parents about their partner first? how does it happen?

damien i feel like would be so excited bc he’s so fond of shayne that it would just accidentally slip

9. whose family are they more likely to stay with during holidays?

shayne’s maybe? bc az is closer?

10. whose parents are / were stricter?

shayne’s

11. who uses more emojis?

damien but like ironically

12. where was their first date?

so random soundstage /j uh idk maybe something casual so it wouldn’t feel do heavy at first. a restaurant they both enjoy or smthn

13. what’s their favorite game to play together (any kind)?

nidhogg

14. which one spams posts / links to the other?

damien “this reminded me of you” haas

15. who is the black cat and who is the golden retriever?

obviously damien black cat shayne golden retriever i mean come oN

16. what mythical creature / monster would they each be? (vampire, werewolf, dragon, fairy, etc.)

damien - vampire, shayne - something with lots of wisdom like druid idk

17. who urges the other to go sing a karaoke duet with them?

damien

18. what is their karaoke song?

rather be or an emo one like panic or fob losers (me hitting my 10th year as an emo mark)

19. who is more likely to serenade the other at random moments?

damien

20. who stares at the other from across the room?

damien

21. who brings a shopping haul of clothes home and who watches their fashion show?

both

22. who insists on paying when they go out to eat?

damien

23. who is more impulsive?

damien

24. who is ‘everything’ and who is ‘just ken’? /ref

damien is everything, shayne is just ken (sorry bud)

25. whose main goal its it to make the other blush?

damien

26. who is first to know about a new trend, meme, slang, etc.?

damien

27. who gets up early to make the other breakfast?

shayne

28. who insists they are their pets’ parents?

damien

29. do they have pets together? what kind, what names, etc.

mildy canon /s freyja and zelda

30. who is more of an animal whisperer / befriends wild animals?

damien

31. who has more patience?

shayne

32. who insists on fixing something themselves, and who would rather call a repair service?

damien wants to fix himself, shayne wants to call service

33. who turns something into an innuendo first?

damien

34. who takes longer to understand a joke or reference?

neither

35. who hides in the other’s arms during a horror movie?

shayne

36. who is more jumpy / scared easily?

shayne

37. who makes more movie references?

shayne

38. who thinks die hard is a christmas movie, and who doesn’t?

damien thinks it is, shayne thinks it isn’t (idk for sure though this can probably be fact checked)

39. who talks more during a movie?

damien

40. who carries the other bridal style?

damien

41. what are their thoughts on marriage?

hmmm idk. hesitant but open?

42. what’s the last name situation when / if they get married? (who’s last name do they take, do they keep theirs, do they hyphenate)

haa stopp (like haha, stop) i’m so funny guys (haas-topp or topp-haas idfk)

43. who wants the less traditional wedding?

damien

44. where do they get married, and where do they honeymoon?

probably in a more secluded pretty place in california, and they honeymoon in japan

45. where is their favorite place to travel?

japan

46. what do they do on vacation?

do all the touristy things, shop at nerdy places for magazines and trinkets, get lost

47. which one overpacks and which one underpacks?

both overpack?

48. who is the yapper and who is the napper?

it depends on the topic, if it’s about sports then shayne is the yapper and damien is the napper, if it’s maybe voice acting roles or something damien is the yapper and shayne is the napper

49. which one is a lighter sleeper?

damien

50. who is the moon and who is the sun?

damien moon shayne sun

51. who collects more? (figurines, pokemon cards, etc)

damien

52. who is more excited to decorate for the next holiday / event?

damien

53. who stopped believing in santa later than the other?

shayne

54. do they want kids together? give me all the details - names, what traits they inherit, etc.

in parent au i would think they maybe have 2 girls and 1 boy? alice, cheyenne, and ??? (on my sims they have 2 kids so far, klaus and alice)

55. who is a stricter parent and who is more lenient?

shayne maybe slightly stricter than damien

56. who reads a book, and who reads over the other’s shoulder while cuddling?

shayne reads, damien cuddles

57. which is booba and which is kiki? /ref

damien is booba, shayne is kiki

58. who believes in soulmates and who doesn’t?

neither but damien slightly believes more

59. who gets nostalgic more easily?

damien

60. who is more of a perfectionist?

damien

61. who hosts more parties?

neither

62. who makes handmade gifts more often for the other?

both!!! (damien’s little wooden board for him, shayne maybe mini paintings or origami 🥺)

63. which one is more formal when answering emails?

shayne

64. who prefers skinny jeans and who prefers baggy jeans?

damien - skinny jeans, shayne - baggy jeans

65. who’s better at roasting the other?

damien

66. who initiates more pda?

damien

67. which one is better at censoring their language, and which has less of a filter?

damien can censor better (twitch) shayne just isn’t as used to it

68. who insists on being player one?

shayne

69. which one snores like “honk shoo” and which snores like “hoooonk mimimi”?

damien honk shoo, shayne hoooonk mimimi

70. who gives more forehead kisses to the other?

damien

71. what does their future look like?

happy, content, open communication, side by side coexisting, love, support

72. which one believes in astrology more?

damien

73. what was their first kiss like?

with both consent and surprise

74. who steals the other’s clothes more often?

shayne

75. who steals the other’s food more often?

damien

76. do they believe in ‘celebrity hall passes’? if so, which celebrities are theirs?

damien maybe fictional characters, shayne pretty demispec so he doesn’t really have anyone to feel that way towards

77. what matching couples costumes do they wear?

something nerdy as fuckkkkkk from an anime or video game probably

78. who is naturally more cold / more hot?

shayne maybe cold for snuggles, damien for cute sleepy frustration of kicking the sheets off

79. which is more extroverted?

damien

80. how do they celebrate valentine’s day?

maybe a small outing but mostly at home together enjoying company, touch, and sappy sex hehe

81. what’s a holiday tradition they have? (ex. presents before breakfast on christmas)

insisting they don’t need to splurge on each other’s presents but they each give at least one that’s pricey but thoughtful

82. what niche pet names do they have for each other?

for damien from shayne - slaymien yaas, deem beem, damienuhhh

for shayne from damien - baby bird, my guy, bitch

83. who hates small talk and would rather have deep conversations?

shayne

84. what’s their icebreaker / olive branch after a disagreement?

“i brought home food from canes for us”

85. what kind of food or restaurant is their favorite to get together?

^

86. who believes in conspiracies more?

damien

87. which had their friends tries to set them up?

sorry matthew scott you will always be the wingman if it’s during so random days. if it’s during smosh days it’s courtney.

88. think of your favorite movie, then incorporate your pairing into it somehow and talk about it.

damien being jack skellington, shayne being sally née finklestein

89. when they’re separated in public, what do they yell out to find each other?

“SHAWNYAY” “DAMIENHAASEN”

90. professors!au. what subjects would they teach?

damien - linguistics or history, shayne - psychology or botany

91. ghostmates!au. who is the ghost that haunts the other?

damien

92. soulmates!au. how are they connected? do they have matching tattoos, names written on them, etc.

i haven’t finished my soulmates au fic but i did the stereotypical purple/black moon, yellow/blue sun

93. punk x pastel!au. which is which?

punk damien pastel shayne. this is canon

94. historical!au. what time period are they in? what are they up to?

probably victorian vampires like iwtv (gaaay)

95. hospital!au. who’s the doctor, who’s the patient, and how did they get in that situation?

shayne broke his ankle and doctor damien is confused how he got in that mess. or damien is a hypochondriac and doctor shayne is trying and failing to reassure him he is fine

96. massage parlor!au. who is the masseuse, who is getting the massage?

damien giver shayne receiver ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

97. angel x demon!au. who is the angel and who is the demon?

angel shayne demon damien

98. gender swap!au. what are their names? (ex. anthony is antoinette)

demia and shaniya?

99. superpowers!au. are they hero and sidekick? mortal enemies? villain duo? what powers do they have?

i love enemies to lovers villain damien hero shayne for some reason

100. timeloop!au. who is stuck and who helps them out of it?

shayne is stuck damien helps him out (read this fic now)

101. royalty!au. who is the royal and who is the knight / guard / maid etc.?

shayne is royal damien is the knight (read this fic now)

102. magic!au. what kind of magic do they use?

damien i can see either being a healer or persuasion. shayne again with wisdom like vast knowledge or nature powers idk

nsfw / suggestive ⚠️

you didn’t see me fill out any of this btw

1. what’s their favorite position?

missionary so they can keep taunting each other. or riding. or any way damien can touch shayne the most. or anywhere

2. who uses their mouth/teeth/tongue more?

damien

3. who uses their hands/nails more?

damien

4. who is a bit more adventurous?

hmmm. shayne?

5. who is more willing to go to a sex shop in person, and who is more embarrassed?

damien can wear a mask and somehow convince himself that he’s extroverted enough to small talk. shayne tried to just get him to order online

6. who is more into dirty talk?

damien

7. who is more into eye contact?

damien

8. what was their most risky / adventurous experience?

across the bed instead of up and down ? smoffice ? in the car in an empty parking lot ? idk

9. who likes to bite, and who likes to be bitten?

damien likes to bite. a lot. we have been over this (i was the one who made this question list)

10. what is their favorite sexual activity to do together / to the other?

damien marking shayne up, dirty talk, biting ^ shayne roleplay, appealing to senses, sense of mystery

11. which is more dominant / which is more submissive?

the d in damien stands for dominant and the s in shayne stands for submissive

12. what was their first time like?

very loving and gay and beautiful and sweet and sloppy

13. who likes to be spanked more?

shayne

14. who sends dirty texts more often?

damien

15. mile high club? yes or no?

too sleepy or anxious so no

16. what’s something they reserve for special occasions?

toys

17. how long into their relationship did it take for them to have sex?

i love the trope for them of like friends to lovers, so as soon as like, they decided they were gonna be more than platonic, it was pretty quick after. damien’s playful touches turned sensual very quickly

18. how often do they have sex?

pretty often bc damien’s pent up-ness will spill into other aspects (like being ‘horny’ in videos), and shayne just gets a lil irritable / attention seeking

[phanfictioncatalogue]

M Rated Fics Masterlist

a different side of me (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan's early 2010 struggle with his home life, his future, and how Phil fits into everything.

a long way home (ao3) - kay_okay

Summary: A line pulls at Dan’s chest from across the room, unwillingly. Dan tugs back. They’re in the middle of a literal war and he’s preoccupied with a schoolyard crush on someone he doesn’t even know.

a night to remember (ao3) - grievingwarwidow

Summary: roxie, who prefers the label exotic performer over stripper, is a star amongst people who are out when the sun goes down. who better for a close-minded phil who has despised what he labels as lowlifes to suddenly obsess over than Roxie himself?

aka the one where phil gets pathetically hung up on dan, better known as roxie and is desperate to get to know him better.

A Perfect Pair (ao3) - husbants

Summary: Dan, a struggling actor who works retail by day, and Phil, an ex-YouTuber-turned-porn-star, end up matched together on the new reality show, Perfect Pair.

After The Gig (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: aka the fic where dan and phil are lovers from rival bands in England in the 1980's and they cant get enough of each other after getting home from their gig

Aftermath (ao3) - firephan311

Summary: What happened during that week in March when Dan abruptly stopped taking his antidepressants.

It is completely fictious. Just a product of my imagination. Pure angst.

Air Hockey (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Christmas fic where neko!dan, who has a horrific past, faces his greatest challenge yet: meeting his fiancé’s family…

always having your hand to hold (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Dan and Phil's 2010 trip to Blackpool

At the end of the day there's hope (ao3) - Frog910

Summary: Dan opens up to Phil about something from his past and how he's feeling

Barbie Horse Adventures (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Sometimes friends force you to get over your worst fears, sometimes you meet your soulmate in the process.

Broken Like You (ao3) - TearDrop1234

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a theater in a nowhere town. Their friendship is instant, but the rest not so much.

Butterfly (ao3) - A_Million_Regrets

Summary: Phil Lester, a lonely writer, finds a dying boy with beautiful black wings on a cold, rainy night in a dingy alleyway. He recognizes the boy as one of the winged men hated by human society. They are considered to be wild, ferocious beasts, but Phil's sympathy forces him to help the boy.

What happens when the boy, considered to be a wild beast, gets too attached and follows him home with an innocent, dimpled smile?

Continents Apartment (ao3) - floweretfairies

Summary: Dan’s stroking his cock, reaching for his phone. He needed his man, but they were continents apart.

Dandelions (ao3) - throughtheirsnoses (det395)

Summary: Phil returns to his small town after studying how to improve his power that lets him grow plants with his mind. Phil is anxious and struggling with the expectations put on him to grow new plant-based medicine and on top of it all, his childhood best friend, Dan, gets his heart broken and turns to Phil as a rebound. Phil panics.

Dan and His Butterflies (ao3) - Raspberrysaxophone

Summary: Very basic: Dan is terribly in love with Phil (the sporty jog). So much so, that Dan joins the school's sports team to be closer to him. As Dan awkwardly stumbles around, Phil starts to take notice of him. A party takes place and who knows what a drunk Dan might do...

Electronics and the Phil’s that break them (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident.

every kiss is a cursive line (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Iydlmp Dan and Phil through the months of trials and tribulations it takes to plan a wedding… and the wedding itself. (Sort of)

gimme that look that takes me home (ao3) - theprincessed

Summary: Phil comes home from visiting his parents ready to spend his actual birthday with Dan, but Dan has some minor issues to work through first.

I Don't Love You (ao3) - Raspberrysaxophone

Summary: Dan and Phil work in an office and are (unfortunately) sharing a desk. Phil is often away on business or working from home so they are never there at the same time. They both get frustrated with how the other one organises the shared space and tell each other that through notes

- or -

Dan and Phil hate each other, but soon Dan realises that he is developing a crush on him. What will a New York business trip (where they are sharing a room xxx) do to their relationship?

i love you. it's a fever dream. (ao3) - graydar

Summary: Dan is sitting half in his lap and Phil is wondering if he’s ever actually been this drunk in his life.

I'd marry you (with paper rings) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Maybe learning calligraphy was of greater importance to Phil, and them, than Dan first thought

i'll just try to hide it (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Phil isn't sure if the house was actually perfect for them or if he and Dan had both just needed to get out of that flat as soon as possible, but he's glad they're here.

It's a bit of a fixer upper, but that's okay. So is Phil.

Impulse Buy (ao3) - sleepyslag (galacticneighbor)

Summary: Dan needs new underwear to go under his Halloween costume. 4,000 miles away, Phil wants to see them.

james joint (ao3) - phook

Summary: dan and phil are gross and have been in love for 15 yrs and get high while visiting la for tit

Let Me Make It Up To You (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: aka a fic about after the 2012 incident and how Dan tries to apologise and make it up to Phil leading to beautiful smut of them making love to rekindle their love

Lonely in Conflict, Cast as a Convict (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Dan is a vampire who can’t remember how it feels not to be lonely. Phil is a vampire hunter living in his brother’s shadow.

When they meet, they find acceptance in each other that they don’t find anywhere else, but there are secrets and other forces at play trying to keep them apart.

meant for me (ao3) - graydar

Summary: Dan doesn’t believe in soulmates. Phil believes in everything. Dan is scared of everything. Phil is scared of Dan.

missing the obvious (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: Dan just wants this guy to stop ruining his game.

(or a reverse you've got mail)

Music Man (ao3) - starlight_kth

Summary: Phil attends a concert with one of his best friends. He's really not that interested. Well, that's until he sees the tall, beautiful piano player with the dimple.

nyctophobia (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: somebody is playing with the light downstairs

One Thousand Midnights or More (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: A decade of love told in moments.

Shuffle My Board (ao3) - danisnotonfire

Summary: What happens after a game of shuffleboard gets unbelievably horny? The winner gets to fuck the loser.

Star Crossed Enemies (ao3) - Junebug1312

Summary: When Dan's school decides to put on Romeo and Juliet, Dan is beyond excited. Until the lead actress drops out and Dan's enemy takes her place. Add in a kiss scene and everything starts to fall apart rather quickly.

Who knew the theatre program could be so dramatic?

Stay With Me (ao3) - blehmobile

Summary: Dan and Phil are flatmates, and they occasionally flirt. They agree that it is very normal to bathe with friends. Totally no tension at all.

sunkissed (ao3) - ivylakes

Summary: Maybe Phil was made to pour warmth into this man and leave little marks all over his body the way the sun does when it covers his skin with freckles. Maybe everything they’ve ever done and every little way they’ve loved each other has culminated in this very moment, where they can hardly see each other in the low light but are still brighter than the yellow light that breaks through the sky and glitters on the ocean.

Or, Dan and Phil go on holiday, and every photo they take tells a story.

Talking to the Moon (ao3) - uptownsteve

Summary: After a risque photoshoot, Phil wants to show Dan just how beautiful he is

Time is on our side (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: In 2010, AmazingPhil decided to make a video trying to time travel. He ends up meeting his boyfriend Dan in the year 2023 as well as himself, and he has a lot of questions.

too far to walk alone (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: “The hazelnut stracciatella,” he says, as always. They might or might not have a bet in the shop about whether he’ll ever vary.

[gamora-borealis]

long rambling essay under the read more about twt phannie discourse / discourse surrounding how people talk about dnp's relationship because I have thoughts I want to get off my chest:

ohh I am so glad I am using twitter less the twt phannies are having discourse again about if you are allowed to think dan and phil act cute together (which yeah most people assume it's in a coupley way but if on the off chance they're actually not a couple then they are still cute and gay besties??? literally doesn't change much???) or that it's bad to wonder if they are soft launching their relationship because of stuff they have said that implies it? like obviously don't tag them in stuff and I get being nervous that they will get recommended stuff on twitter but like, if you keep it to tumblr or discord or your small or private twitter then whatever I don't think it's that big of a deal. they didn't like the speculation when they were in the closet because it became such a huge focus that people were messaging them about it, violating their privacy, other YouTubers were making fun of them or trying to expose them, it was putting a lot of pressure on them to come out, etc (which I think that is what Dan was addressing in BIG and people misunderstand that part because what he said was a little bit clunky in terms of how he organized it because it was hard to talk about!) but I don't think they care if people in fan spaces have opinions on what their relationship is a long as we respect their right to talk about that kind of stuff on their own terms. like the way I view it is like if you had some friends that you thought were maybe dating or flirting and then were like "aw yeah they're cute" or "hmm I wonder if they're..." to your other friends. like I don't think it's cool to say it to the people in question's faces if they haven't openly talked about it yet but I don't think it's bad to wonder based on things you have observed??? idk personally I'm always noticing details and analyzing things because my personality is just like that and sometimes I like to talk about it, not in a spreading gossip way but like an, "in confidence" kind of way to get a second opinion out of curiosity. and like ultimately your want should be for people to be happy and they are the only ones who can decide what kind of relationship/s make them happy and you can respect that while wondering or having an opinion that you don't announce to them (and like, dnp tend to understand that indirects / tumblr / etc are meant for other fans and not them and that if they go looking through tags and stuff that they are going to potentially see these opinions or observations).

also like, I think they really don't care as much now that they are out because the pressure / fear has gone away and now they make jokes about it and call themselves phan and make fun of phannies lol. I think part of the reason that so many people are drawn to their relationship in the first place too is because they are these funny relatable (neurodivergent?) queer parasocial figures in what appears to be a strong / supportive relationship, whether they are together or are queer exes who are still besties and/or queerplatonic and roommates. like we love to see them being themselves / being queer together, whatever that means for them!!! because they've even acknowledged that before they were out they were still queer representation in the sense that a lot of times they subverted society's expectations of masculine friendships in their videos just by being themselves.

also dnp have been very loud about certain things lately I don't think it's weird to be like... are they going to finally reveal something because their behavior lately has been kinda wild! (although maybe they won't because they don't want the general public / locals / news attention about it that might actually be more annoying than the standard/familiar attention from a lot of their fandom and like that's completely fine too).

Idk there is just this weird virtue signaling on twitter that is very annoying to me. like personally I am like yeah a lot of stuff points to them being in a romantic relationship but I could be wrong and either way I really love them and the relationship that they do have and show us on camera. but one doesn't have to qualify with that every time when saying "aw they are cute!" or making an observation about something on your own blog or small account...

honestly if what comes off as virtue signaling to me is actually coming from a place of care, I do respect that... I just also think that some people go out of their way to police or denounce behavior because they are afraid of being identified with people who were actually harmful to dnp when I don't think the behavior they are being mad at in this instance is actually harmful and more so just a natural side effect of being parasocially invested in these two queer guys who have spent most of fourteen years together and have confirmed that their relationship has been "more than just romantic."

[amusedphan]

Fandango for the asks :3

ohhh thank you!!! <33 i have totally not been putting way too much thought into this (caveat i am Not a mixologist)

Fandango -  If YOU had to mix a phantasy mocktail (or cocktail, go wild), what would you make? @phanniemasquerade

okay so FLAVOUR-wise, i'd want to combine dan's penchant for bitter things with phil's sweet tooth.

starting from the bottom up, i'd do a honey mix with [as local as i can get] raspberry jam, ooh maybe saskatoon berry too if it's in season. the density of the honey would hopefully keep it as a bottom layer, and at least a raspberry mix would get a red color; combining this with another layer (preferably green - can be flavored or not. matcha could be a decent candidate but a) idk if it would mix well with honey and b) whether it would fuck up the taste) would give you a colored base. i'd put some citrus peel (orange, most likely, maybe lemon) so that it settles in the honey as well and gives a good mix of sweet and bitter.

on the side (in a shaker?), i'd do the main mix of pinot gin (because i'm biased), tonic water (more to the Bitter), and flavourless black dye, poured down the side of the glass so i (hopefully) don't disturb the honey layer(s). the only thing i'm layering on top to Complete the look (other than Maybe one of those gay lil cocktail umbrellas) is edible multicolored glitter, enough that it's relatively noticable against the black.

yeah i'm gonna be That Bitch and call it the "hits different"

[ahappyphjl]

i know we’re all focused on the new video(s) but reentering my phannie phase even though I’ve been watching them since 2013 and them looking back at the pinofs I get emo sometimes thinking about how much dnp have truly affected my life. i was 12 and had nerdy friends that showed me this video of two guys with cat whiskers and unfortunately we grew apart but my life was altered from that day forth lmao i have such vivid memories of walking home from school listening to muse bc I wanted to know more about this band they loved so much. watching them react to their looks today feels so weird bc I used to post about them in real time on my fan account and I don’t feel like the same person yet I am?? they’ve grown so much and I feel like I’ve grown with them and I’m loving their content more than ever and they just have such a specific and special relationship with us I love it

aww this made me tear up, thanks for sharing 🥹 i deeply relate to everything you said, we’re so lucky to have grown up with people as amazing as dnp. it’s the best, there’s no one like them and us.

that disconnect between who you were then and now? oof same. i think it’s gotta be cause so many of us were kids when we discovered them, and are now adults, so that life feels very far away. nothing’s the same, but dan and phil have been there for us the whole time. whether you’ve been active in the phandom the entire time or not, im sure there are things that will always be a reminder or memory of something dnp related. we literally wouldn’t have grown up to be who we are now if it weren’t for dnp, and that’s wild to think about. and i’m so, so glad we get to see them becoming happier and freer every year. the future is bright 🫶🏻

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2021

Date video was published: 12/21/2021 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 452

The final video of 2021. Phil teased it and caused chaos, of course. I can’t believe (but am so glad) this is the sequel we ended up getting.

0:00 - tree background! they had the tree up and decorated by December 7, when Dan shared pictures

0:03 - great start. love that he immediately looks to Dan for his reaction

0:20 - calling himself out for “casted” and very unnecessary creepy eye editing there

0:25 - Phil’s face as Dan sits down 🥺 plus giving him the fireworks effect

0:33 - I like this Dan sweater! (and not really this Phil one, sorry)

0:39 - that was very quick from both of them there. then the jump cut before Dan can come up with another come-back and it’s basically a compliment 😂

0:57 - that was the least subtle thing ever and the bleeps did nothing.  Dan really wanted to be sure everyone got it though ���

1:04 - Dan slowly scooting closer to Phil

1:06 - the annotations here...though Phil did not say anything about his “favourite thing”s before this

1:18 - Phil’s side-eye as he decides to tease Dan about that

1:28 - and even closer. what even. I would say he was trying to leave space to put the text screenshots, but they end up putting them in between them sometimes anyway

1:35 - I miss Dan’s reactions to Phil’s comments so much when we don’t get joint content for a while

1:41 - what is Phil even doing

1:54 - I mean that’s adorable. I like that he also sent one called “beautiful hawk”

2:23 - Dan just saying that...alrighty then. this might be the most we’re-in-a-relationship joke they’ve ever made on camera? in 2017, Dan shared a couple of text screenshots (1, 2) and he did have a photo for Phil then

2:35 - Phil editing this and putting the “JC” over his own face 😂 or maybe they edited together like they used to do with the PINOFs

2:55 - oh that’s bad. Dan refused to share that photo on Twitter

3:10 - awww, Phil “I wouldn’t betray your trust”

3:13 -  I think most of these (with the exception of a few) are in order throughout the year, so guessing this was just Dan looking for birthday gifts for Phil in January

3:16 - so Dan wrote this and sent it to Phil, who then slightly edited it and posted it as a tweet. I wonder how often they do this, but good to know that sometimes Phil’s tweets may sound like Dan for a reason

3:25 - awww 🥺 and a tree they took to the new house

3:29 - Dan immediately laughing...don’t know if I want to know the context for that one

3:32 - Dan had tweeted about the Bernie meme just a couple days after Phil sent this to him

3:55 - they talked about seeing Steve in the wild during one of the Stereo shows

4:00 - I feel like a lot of the random texts at ~10am like “Bip” here are them checking to see if the other person is awake if they’re not getting up at the same time

4:15 - this makes it sound like Dan did a lot of the prep work for this video

4:24 - Phil just staring...and then licking his lips

4:28 - this is one I’m not sure is in order or not...there was no “up” at the filming flat so this was either after they moved or they meant something else (or were somewhere else)

4:51 - that’s a picture they showed in the CAH video, though Phil is sending it to Dan here

5:04 - this was a new photo of the entryway and tree that we hadn’t seen before! this must have just been Dan sending those photos to Phil to use for a video though, because he had already made that tree by summer of 2020

5:14 - imagining Dan just scrolling through his pictures of Phil and sending him the worst ones 😂

5:33 - Phil gets the weirdest ads I swear. Dan with the immediate “damn”

5:45 - Phil must have sent this to Dan to say he was going to make it his icon? why didn’t Dan say he didn’t like it then!

5:57 - controversial, but I agree with Dan here. 🤐 his face does look mask-like! I think it’s something with his eyes in that photo

6:18 - Phil knows immediately! they eat dinner SO late

6:34 - this is just the next day. and exactly a year before the cherry blossom selfies 👀

6:42 - they way that Dan said “are you gonna reveal it...” feel like something more than showing a painting

6:44 - I’m still not over this gift and that they have this memory of the Japan trip hanging in their new house. also bamboo forest day in Japan was the same day as that one Insta story of very soft Phil and I am not okay knowing that 😭

6:57 - Phil posted some these photos the same day he sent them to Dna here. and the one Dan sent back was one of those, so maybe Dan was picking out which he should post

7:13 - “we were trying to decide” everything they do is a collaboration, isn’t it? even if it’s supposedly “solo” merch or projects

7:24 - “I’m not just simping, Phil” christ. he does have to clarify

7:50 - Dan’s immediate smile at Phil supporting him. Dan had released his new merch at the end of November too

8:03 - I love Phil texting for permission to eat the snacks (which were clearly for both of them) while Dan was out

8:15 - the sending of vibes thing just makes me want to weep 😭 Dan was recording some of his book that day, though he didn’t share this particular picture until the end of April

8:28 - zero context. though Dan was apparently feeling anxious that day

8:31 - another one where I feel like Phil is checking to see if Dan is awake

8:44 - there are a lot of those we don’t actually see and I’m not sure I want to know

8:52 - the house was getting closer! Dan had shared a Insta story with a picture this day too

9:07 - Phil just agreeing that they were “very flattering.”  Dan had shared those pictures of the entryway in July

9:12 - welp. alrighty then Phil. this must be the nerd cave room?

9:26 - and this must be Phil checking to see if Dan is coming to bed? right? this would have been later in the night after Phil was watching some Jujutsu Kaisen

9:53 - they start doing this and I’m pretty sure the ‘blessed family’ one is the only one they don’t rate 5/5 😂

10:01 - didn’t quite go with the whole “Philip”

10:08 - these annotations seem like Dan wrote them, which he very well might have

10:16 - the glue incident. like I said in that post, this is earlier in May than I thought it had happened from the video

10:20 - Dan trying to calm him down via text since he couldn’t go with him 🥺

10:40 - this is also hilarious to me, that Phil was sending him interview ideas/jokes 😂 it looks like it might have been even longer than what they showed here

10:54 - getting the un-blurred version of this photo that Dan shared on May 21. also the heavy breathing/foot showing editing...not quite as good as the golden pig fight, but still a great editing joke from 2021

11:13 - what even. no guesses for this one

11:23 - was this just Phil checking that the thumbnail was okay with Dan? I would say he had sent it to Dan so he had it for promo purposes, but Dan just retweeted/reposted Phil’s stuff

11:52 - awww, Phil is right. and Phil is proud of him!

12:09 - they were so excited about the house!

12:24 - and back to slightly earlier in the month. so many scans for Phil 🙁 Phil just sharing “I’m not dying” every time; Dan looks like he doesn’t know what to think about that

12:34 - I’m cackling at this one

12:42 - this is right around when they shared they were actually moving, so I’m guessing this has something to do with the garden at the new house

12:55 - this must have been when Phil was heading home from getting his COVID vaccine. also, Dan trying to act unamused

13:12 - okay definitely out of order now. we were just in June, but you can see the tree in the background of that video so that must have been from much more recently. Phil did share it as a Short after this video was posted

13:54 - emo Dan and Phil saying it “send me vividly back to 2011″ is a lot

14:06 - yeah Dan barely promoted his involvement in that at all

14:18 - Phil sounds so disappointed about the furry bit being cut

14:22 - we don’t see Phil’s response in the screenshot there, so unsure if he’s actually reading it or just making something up because they didn’t want to share what he actually said

14:26 - needy Dan indeed! I love that he sound so whiny in his reading of it too

14:33 - I wanna know about “Blop blip blop...lmao” that they didn’t read

14:36 - yeah that’s just disturbing, slightly. Phil had shared a “haunted” photo of himself from the doorbell too, in late August

14:42 - little taps to Phil’s arm there

14:48 - okay this is my favorite one for some reason. something about how soft Dan sounds when he’s reading it and how completely incomprehensible it is

15:01 - again maybe an are-you-awake check. Phil thinks 9:53am was too early though

15:09 - the ghost editing with the doorball footage 😂

15:27 - I mean, this was less surprising because Phil had already said “roleplaying as a catboy” in one of the Stereo shows

15:34 - Phil went through about 7 different emotions in a second there deciding whether or not this was a YouTube-appropriate story

15:50 - candid Dan photo! Phil looks so pleased/fond about it

16:04 - Phil giving zero shits about Dan’s sassiness there, lol

16:32 - this must have been on a train north the evening before filming in Rawtenstall since they were spotted filming there on July 22

16:54 - Dan is being diplomatic about YouTube here, but he really wanted it to be longer and include different bits

17:01 - more needy Dan!

17:09 - texting memories to each other I CAN’T 😭

17:17 - Dan is wrong - this was from when the went to see Mission Impossible in the US (1, 2). they had seen Infinity War in May 2018.

17:41 - does Dan just text Phil every time he needs a drink refill, haha

17:48 - how the hell would anyone interpret what that meant

17:56 - guessing Phil was with people for his plant calendar shoot. he was doing that ~September 23-24, at least from what he shared (1, 2)

18:21 - has Phil literally been doing all of their laundry for years...what. the next one is from October, so this could be when Phil went to Isle of Man to visit his family? (if Dan didn’t go and was home alone?)

18:30 - I know “moonpig” is a card brand but also

18:35 - this still haunts me. I did not need to know that Dan calls Phil “moon butt.” there is no way to interpret how he reads that other than as a nickname. WHY did they include that

19:11 - Dan had posted that at the end of November. I wonder if that somewhat inspired this video

19:30 - Dan just sending him the double question mark after that 😂

20:05 - Phil looks so sad for him. this is like a follow-up to the first video of the year when they were so hopeful for things happening in 2021

20:30 - “at some point, somehow, in some way” is so vague; I am constantly on edge especially with how quiet they’ve been this spring

20:52 - Dan saying “tolerating” while Phil says “treating” 🥺

21:20 - love the sign off

Another contender for my favorite video of 2021. I know I’ve said that about 4-5 times but there are just so many good ones. It is so much more unhinged than the first texting video - either because they didn’t share the weirdest ones before or because they were outside/apart more for the texts in the first one, rather than mostly texting each other from inside the house. Also, I adore this “outtake” of a Kath text that Phil posted as a Short. They didn’t say much about what they were doing for Christmas (other than Phil going to see his family), but both Dan and Phil did share an Insta story.

[piratewithvigor]

My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool 

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously. 

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged. 

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

[phanficawards]

2020 PHANFIC AWARDS: FINAL RESULTS - ORIGINAL AWARDS

While we’ve tried our best to keep the awards fair, we unfortunately cannot help if some biases did come though during voting.

We also want to say that no matter the results, every fic that was nominated is a winner in our minds! Everyone’s fics, whether they’re nominated or not, are beautiful and unique and could have only come from you!

-

Favorite Phandom Blogger Of 2020

First Place: @deadandphilgames

Second Place: @intoapuddle

TIE - Third Place: @ttlmt

TIE - Third Place: @sierraadeux

Favorite Dan Moment Of 2020

First Place: insta wine selfie

Second Place: the attitude magazine photoshoot

Third Place: the book

Favorite Phil Video Of 2020

First Place: Trying To Catch And Rescue A Wild Pigeon

Second Place: Coming Out To You: 1 Year Later

Third Place: Tour Of My Plants (living and dead)

Favorite Phan Moment Of 2020

TIE - First Place: Phil’s Quiz Show

TIE - First Place: h u s b a n d s

Second Place: dan helping phil behind the scenes

Favorite Dan Tweet Of 2020

First Place: shove an ice cube all the way up my ass

Second Place: among us? if pretending to do tasks while everyone else does the work and hiding in vents to avoid social interaction makes me an ‘imposter’ then pass me the knife i’m sus

Third Place: PHEW LMAO

Favorite Phil Tweet Of 2020

First Place: so my phone presented me with a “Dinners in London over the years” memory ..and it is literally the most cursed video I’ve ever seen

Second Place: “why are you like this” #amazingphildothewap

Third Place: Just said a sofa was ‘so comfy it makes my ass clap’ and apparently I don’t understand what that phrase means

Favorite Dan Insta Story Of 2020

First Place: sexy nuggets

Second Place: ominous la story

Third Place: book support

Favorite Phil Insta Story Of 2020

First Place: not sure if dan has enough dips

Second Place: the autumn merch photoshoot with him and dan

Third Place: too much fizz

Best Fantasy Fic

TIE - First Place: Houndstooth (ao3 - indistinct_echo)

TIE - First Place: a strange mirror (ao3 - glowingatmosphere)

Second Place: impractical magic (ao3 - sierraadeux)

Third Place: butterfly (ao3 - A_Million_Regrets)

Best Platonic Fic

First Place: total eclipse of the heart (ao3 - sierraadeux)

Second Place: blue can be kind, too (ao3 - tarredion)

Best LGBTQ+ Fic

First Place: important dates in history (ao3  - judearaya)

Second Place: too far to walk alone (ao3 - chickenfree)

Third Place: strictly come dancing but make it GAY (ao3 - natigail)

[succubusphan]

Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining - CHAPTER 4

Summary: Dan meets Phil at the lowest moment in his life and is immediately enchanted by him, but nobody is perfect - not even those with good intentions and a kind heart.

This is the story of two imperfect people trying to do their best, to find love and strive in life. They gravitate towards each other at every turn, sometimes dancing in harmony, other times colliding.

Rating: E

Tags: strangers to friends, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Break Up, they were roommates, Cheating, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, non youtuber au, Angst with a Happy Ending, there was only one bed, ok there was more than one bed but one was very very bad, cuddling for warmth, Stranded, coworkers, Jealousy, toxic relationship (not dan and Phil), everybody makes mistakes, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, alpha phil, omega dan, lots of character development for everyone, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Oral Sex, deep throating, Shower Sex, very slight D/s dynamics, power struggle, you'll want to kill them both at some point and me too, but the end is very very worth it, Happy ending.

Word Count: 71k total, 5.6k for this chapter

A/n: This story was written for the@oldschoolpbb and it's my 100th fic (#spon). Thank you to my team! @schnaf for making the art and being my knight in shining armour as a beta, and going over the fic a million times, always encouraging me and being overall hilarious. Thank you to Mai for being a last-minute beta and providing an external analysis of the story that was incredibly helpful. And thank you @thottydan for reading and for your input.

Please, read, enjoy, kudo, comment, like, and above all share, share, share. I am but a small writer and this is my biggest project by far.

UPDATES EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S FINISHED (THE LAST CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED ON MAY 2ND).

This story is influenced by music at every turn so make sure you check out the Spotify Playlist.

Read on ao3 | ART LINK | Start from the beginning

By the time Friday rolled around Phil was a nervous mess. Dan kept sneaking to his meetings with Charles in the mornings, coming home late and exhausted nearly at midnight, and sleeping in his own room because he didn’t want to wake Phil up. Even though Dan had apologized to him via text and he still acted normal around Phil at the office, Phil was starting to believe that Dan regretted ever sleeping with him or finally addressing their feelings and it was driving him mad.

Most days Phil was barely functional, he was taking three times longer than usual to write for his section, even having to stay behind to finish his pieces - which had never happened before. He’d thought that maybe he could stop by Charles’s office and check if Dan was ready to go home, but upon knocking on the door and not hearing a reply, he opened it and found that it was empty. With a last look around the office, Phil turned off the lights and made his way back home.

It was a long walk but he thought the air and exercise would help him clear his head. He tried not to let his imagination run wild with speculation and instead texted Dan asking him if their plans were still on. Sadly, he got no reply.

Once at home, Phil checked again and there were still no texts from Dan. He sighed and decided to take a shower, maybe put a movie on Netflix to watch as he ate his reheated dinner - alone. The fact that this was exactly what a typical night would’ve been like if Dan had never entered his life made him feel even worse. He felt pathetic, like he was losing control of his emotions, his entire mood depending on how much or how little attention Dan decided to give him - it just didn’t feel right.

Taking a few calming breaths, he closed his eyes and tried to remember the last time he’d felt happy without Dan. He remembered his late-night walks around town with his headphones, the cold air hitting his face as he watched random people enjoying their lives, letting all his frustrations melt away. It was worth a try; he put on a pair of jeans and a jacket and made his way out the door to see what the city had to offer.

He popped his headphones in and put on one of his playlists from back then, trying to emulate the experience and it kind of worked for a little bit. He had been walking for an hour or so when Dan finally answered. “I’m sorry, bub. I completely forgot. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. Bryony has sequestered me for the night because she says I haven’t spent time with her in months and she’s right.”

Phil felt hurt and honestly mad at being treated like he was the last thing on Dan’s mind, yet he couldn’t help but smile when Dan sent a picture of him cuddling between K and Bry; their faces were squished together to fit in the frame and he was wearing Bry’s hello kitty pyjamas. “Cute,” Phil replied and let out a sad sigh. He pressed the next button on Spotify and ‘With or without you’ started playing, pulling at his heartstrings.

He looked up, watching the couples walking hand in hand down the street and wished Dan was here instead of spending his time with everyone else, leaving him for last.

“Through the storm, we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more

And I’m waiting for you.”

He turned around the corner and saw one of the pubs he used to visit when he felt lonely, just to sit by the bar to have a drink and listen to music. A drink would probably suit him right now, but maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.

“With or without you

With or without you, ah, ah

I can’t live

With or without you.”

Phil’s phone vibrated with a Twitter notification. He’d gotten a dm from an account he didn’t recognise. There was no text, only four pictures of Dan with Charles clearly taken on different days. The first one having a coffee at Starbucks, another walking down the street and smiling, the next one of Charles putting his hand on Dan’s lower back as they entered the building where Dan saw his therapist and the last one of them having dinner at a nice restaurant. The first three pictures bothered him but were innocent enough, but the last one was from today judging by Dan’s outfit; they had a bottle of champagne on the table and they were holding hands, Dan’s eyes looking adoringly into Charles’s.

“And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give

And you give

And you give yourself away.”

Phil blocked the account and locked his phone before walking into the pub.

There were only a few tables taken, the chatter was quiet enough that the music was at a nice volume and the bartender working today was one he recognised from previous visits. Phil decided to sit by the bar to avoid feeling like a loser sitting alone at a table because he’d been stood up; this way he could be a loser with someone to talk to. He removed his headphones and put them in his pocket but the song continued to play in his head as he drank his first gin and tonic of the night.

The blonde guy with bright blue eyes sitting on the stool next to his seemed to be in his third or fourth drink already when he said hi to Phil. According to what he was telling the bartender, he had apparently gone through a bad breakup but was in a celebratory mood nonetheless - or perhaps that was just the alcohol talking. “Fuck love, am I right?” He’d said and both Phil and the bartender nodded quietly. Phil downed his second drink and ordered a new one. “That one is on me,” said the guy. Phil tried to refuse but he was having none of it so he accepted the offer. It was getting late and Phil knew that he should probably consider returning home, but he was feeling low and ‘blonde guy’ was eyeing him with interest.

“My hands are tied

My body bruised, she got me with

Nothing to win and

Nothing left to lose.”

Phil’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to check his notifications; Dan had posted a story to Instagram, it was a selfie of him smirking with the caption “I’ve changed my mind” and the song ‘Erase and Rewind’ from The Cardigans playing on top. Clutching at his glass just a little bit tighter, Phil closed his eyes and let the floaty feeling of being drunk overwhelm his senses for a moment until he felt a tap on the shoulder.

“Are you ok?” ‘blonde guy’ asked.

“No, someone broke my heart,” Phil said.

“Yeah, me too.” The guy bit his lip and seemed to consider things for a moment before saying: “Wanna go somewhere?”

Phil shrugged and the guy slowly leaned in for a kiss. Phil didn’t move, neither to respond nor to stop him. It felt - wrong. “I shouldn’t,” Phil said, his lips mere millimeters away from the guy.

“Why, do you have someone waiting for you at home?” he asked.

Phil shook his head no and kissed the guy back.

“And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give

And you give

And you give yourself away.”

The rest of the night consisted of flashes. Making out in the elevator, stumbling and undressing each other, getting to bed and letting his body take over, pushing into the stranger with abandon and sobbing in his arms after.

“With or without you

With or without you, oh

I can’t live

With or without you.”

--

Dan walked in quite early the next morning. He knew he had neglected Phil for the past couple of days but he was going to pamper him and spend the next few days with him to make up for it. Now that he had helped Charles meet his deadline, he could focus fully on their new ‘sort of relationship.’ Even though he’d been reticent to put a name to it, he realised now that it was time to leave the past in the past and judge Phil solely for the behaviour he had exhibited instead of being too careful because of his own previous experiences. Life was just too short to be afraid to live and love.

Sadly, things don’t always go according to plan; at least not for Dan. As soon as he opened the door he was met with a path of wrinkled clothes he recognised as Phil’s leading up to his bedroom. He followed the trail, his stomach sinking more and more with each step; first, he noticed the smell of alcohol, then the smell of sex and sweat, then… a brief sense of relief washed over him when he found Phil sleeping fully naked, yet alone, but it was short-lived. There was a glass of water on the bedside table with a note that read “Tom, 20-719-3000. Call me.”

Dan couldn’t believe he had fallen for it again; he felt like an idiot, but this time he wasn’t to take it. He grabbed the glass of water and poured it all over Phil’s face, startling him awake.

“I can’t believe I fell for your shit,” Dan said, his voice laced with anger and grief.

Phil blinked, reaching for his glasses. “Dan! I - what?”

“You didn’t need to lie to me and pretend to want me if you just wanted a fuck!”

“What are you talking about?”

“You cheated on me!”

“Me? You were fucking Charles!” Phil mumbled.

Dan’s mouth opened and closed but no sounds came out. That was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. He was about to explain himself when he realised that he didn’t need to. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he spat. “You’re a piece of shit, just like Alex.”

Phil looked as if he’d been slapped, his anger seemingly having melted away.

“Dan, I -”

“I don’t want to hear it. I literally don’t care,” Dan said and stormed out of the flat.

--

Phil felt like utter shit for more reasons than one. He felt betrayed yet disgusted for not having discussed things with Dan instead of making stupid decisions in a moment of weakness.

He’d tried calling Dan all weekend but he was going straight into voicemail and his texts were not even delivered; it seemed like he’d been blocked already. His mind kept going over the events of Friday night over and over, like an involuntary form of self-punishment; he couldn’t keep the fragmented memories at bay.

Phil’s only hope was catching Dan alone, be honest with him and hope that he was willing to forgive him - or face the consequences of his actions. He was still unsure on whether Dan had cheated on him with Charles or not but he was so desperate to keep Dan around that he was willing to forgive him if that was the case. Somewhere along the past seven months, Phil had fallen in love with his best friend. He had hoped Dan would say yes to being his partner but now… Phil didn’t know how bad he had fucked up his chance.

On Monday, he took a shower and two painkillers for the hangover he was still nursing before rushing to work in a taxi. Phil looked around the office but neither Dan nor Bryony were there. It seemed like Charles was his only option, which made Phil feel awkward as hell, but he couldn’t be picky. He could see through the blinds in the office that Charles was on a call, so to make their talk as short as possible, Phil hung around in the hallway sipping on his coffee until he was done.

Putting on a neutral face, Phil knocked on the door and waited to be called.

“Hi, Phil! How are you doing?” Charles smiled and signalled at him to come in.

“Good, good,” Phil replied stiffly. “How are you?” He attempted a smile.

“Great, just a bit exhausted because of work and my personal projects, but I’m luckily done with that for the most part,” Charles said. “What can I do for you?”

Phil took a sit and tried not to let his mind linger on that comment. He needed to focus on the task at hand. “I was wondering if you had seen Dan.”

Charles’s face fell, worry lines appearing in his brow. “Oh, I’m afraid he’s not coming. He said that he was not feeling well and asked for three days of sick leave and I of course said yes. He’s been working so much lately, it will do him good to rest and focus on his health.”

Phil’s face fell. “Oh, so he’ll be back on Thursday?”

“Yeah, it seems like it.” Charles leaned forward, linking his fingers together and setting them on the desk. “Didn’t he tell you about it?”

“Uh, no. He’s staying at Bry’s for a few days,” Phil lied. “I guess he forgot to tell me.”

Charles nodded. “Probably, he sounded quite distraught.”

Phil stood up. “Yeah, I’ll text him to see how he’s feeling. Thanks.”

“No problem,” said Charles, already taking another call.

--

Actually, Dan was back the following day, just after their shift had ended.

Phil had tried to contact Dan again but to no avail, so he decided that the best course of action was to pour his heart and soul into his work. On Tuesday, he stayed overtime to finish his next piece and probably start something new. Around five-thirty, he took a coffee break and went to the bathroom to wash his hands when he heard voices.

He recognised Dan’s voice immediately and gasped. Then, he carefully pushed the door open the tiniest bit and craned his neck until he finally caught sight of Dan walking into Charles’s office. He looked absolutely gorgeous; he had clearly spent some time getting ready before dropping in. Phil felt like his heart was trying to crawl out of his body via his throat but did his best to calm down and listen to their conversation. If Dan wasn’t going to give him any answers willingly, maybe this would be his only chance to know what had really happened. He pushed the door further the slightest bit to get a better view of what they were doing.

Charles sat on his chair with a bright smile and Dan stood beside him looking tired but attempting a smile.

“Thank you for giving me the days off, but I think I’m doing better already and focusing on work would really help me find some semblance of peace in my life. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Of course, of course. You know that I’m here for you whenever you need me, just like you were there for me.” Charles said.

Dan sat on the corner of Charles’s desk. “Yeah. Don’t worry, I really enjoyed helping you.”

“About Friday...” Charles shook his head. “I would like to know where we stand - if you don’t mind.”

“It’s all good. I was kinda seeing someone but that’s over, so…”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware.” Charles paused. “So?”

“So…about what happened -” Dan grabbed Charles’s tie and pulled him closer. Phil could no longer see their faces from this angle but he could definitely see Charles’s hand on Dan’s hips and it was making his blood boil. “I am free if you want to have some fun.” Dan climbed onto Charles’s lap.

“Oh!” Charles laughed. “I want more than a little fun,” he said huskily and kissed Dan.

Phil’s heart broke into a million pieces but he couldn’t look away.

Dan moaned and started to grind on the alpha, moaning and kissing him harshly, the chair creaking under their movements.

It was wrong; so wrong. Phil finally closed the bathroom door and pressed his back to the wall but he could still hear them, so he covered his ears. So many thoughts ran through his mind that he could barely catch on. He stood there, frozen in shock for what seemed like forever but was probably five minutes until the bathroom door opened, startling him.

Dan’s face was red, his curls sticking to his sweaty forehead, a dark hickey marking his pale neck. “Oh, you’re still here,” he said, his eyes carrying nothing but disdain.

Phil pinned him against the wall and kissed him hungrily. Dan opened his lips for him and kissed him back for a moment before turning his face away. Still, Phil sucked on his neck on the same exact point where Charles had marked him, attempting to stake his own claim.

Dan moaned and shivered. “Stop,” he said.

Phil jumped back as if he’d been burned, but he needed to finally address this. “We need to talk about this. I - I know I fucked up, we’ve both made mistakes but I think we can fix it.”

Dan’s eyes narrowed. “Fuck off! I did nothing wrong, so there’s nothing to talk about. It’s over.”

This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. They could fix it if they just… talked. “Please,” Phil sank to his knees. “Please,” he choked in a sob.

Dan looked away. “There’s no fixing this. You cheated on me. I’m done.” His tone turned cold and distant.

“I know, I was stupid. I was weak,” Phil said, tears running down his cheeks. “I just couldn’t deal with you ignoring me and forgetting about me.”

Where Dan’s expression had softened slightly when Phil begged, now it had morphed into one of pure rage. “You’re not going to turn this around and fucking blame me. I left you alone for one night and you fucked someone in our home.”

“I’m not.” Phil raised his hands in surrender. “I’m t-trying to explain -”

“Great, then fucking explain. I would love to understand,” Dan spat. “And get up.”

Phil got shakily up to his feet. “I’d been doubting your feelings for me a-and I wanted to talk about it but you were never there. And you kept ignoring me and forgot I existed - then someone sent me pictures,” he sobbed. “You said you were with Bry, but someone sent me a few pictures of you o-on a date with Charles.”

Dan frowned. “Who sent those pictures?

“I don’t know, some Twitter account I didn’t follow.”

“So someone tries to imply that I was fucking Charles behind your back and instead of telling me about it you decided to get your petty revenge. Is that it?”

Phil shook his head. “No, no - I swear. I wanted to have a drink at a pub but when I saw the pictures I freaked out. I brought someone home, but I wasn’t thinking. I would have never done that if I hadn’t thought you were cheating on me with Charles.”

“So you’re the victim here, huh?” Dan was visibly shaking with rage. Phil lowered his head but Dan pressed on. “Tell me what you did, I want to know.”

Phil whipped the tears away. “We talked and drank, then - It’s kind of blurry,” he admitted. “We had sex.”

Dan pulled Phil by the shirt and leaned in closer and closer until their lips were almost touching. “Don’t be shy,” he spat. “Tell me: Was he as good as me? Did he make you scream like a little bitch?”

Phil avoided his eyes but shook his head no.

“Was it worth it?” Dan said and sucked on Phil’s neck hard enough to leave a lasting mark before stepping away.

Phil gasped, he hated himself for appreciating the way Dan had claimed him with that simple gesture. “No, nothing is worth losing you,” he said. Still, Dan kept avoiding his questions and that was starting to annoy him. “What about you? Did you fuck Charles?”

Dan snorted humorlessly. “Of course not, what do you take me for?”

Phil frowned. “Then why did you spend so much time with him then? You live with me and I haven’t seen you in a week.”

“He’s writing a book so he asked me to go over his final edit with him and he thanked me with a nice dinner,” Dan said, his eyes pinning Phil in place. “The deadline was on Saturday,” he added. “Not all of us think with our cocks, unlike you.”

Unsure on whether he believed Dan or not, Phil pressed. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I see pictures of you going everywhere with Charles; you took him to all the places I usually walk you to. Instead of spending time with me when you were done, you chose to stay with him every single day and you cancelled on our date too.” Now Phil was getting angry as well. “You replaced me and you didn’t even have the balls to tell me.”

Dan blinked. “I needed to think, and I’m glad I did because now I know not to waste my time with you.”

“You don’t have to be so fucking spiteful.” Phil took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to regain his composure. “I don’t think we should throw away all of our history for stupid mistakes. I know that I fucked up and I’m sorry, I’ll apologize as many times as you need me to, but I don’t think we should ignore the feelings we have for each other over this.”

Dan shrugged. “That’s where you’re wrong. Any feelings I might have had for you died the moment you went behind my back and fucked some random bitch you found on the street.” Dan pointed at him, pressing his index finger into Phil’s chest repeatedly as his tone got more and more heated. “You knew how much I suffered when Alex did that to me, but you sat there and pretended to be my friend, you held me when I cried about it and the moment -the-fucking-moment I let you fuck me, you take your little ‘good guy’ persona and go find someone else because I dared to be busy for a week,” Dan said through gritted teeth. “Make it make sense!”

Phil was having none of it. “You say that, feeling all high and mighty when you just humped the guy you spent a week with two days after we had an argument; allow me to doubt that it’s the first time you’ve done that. And you knew I used to have feelings for Charles but you did it anyway because you’re a spiteful little bitch. You wanted to hurt me back, well congratulations, it fucking worked.”

Dan looked as if he was going to argue back, but in the end, he shrugged. “You know what? You can think whatever the fuck you want, I don’t care anymore.” He smirked knowing he was about to deliver the final blow to Phil’s heart. “You are nothing to me.”

“Then leave. Move out,” Phil said but he didn’t mean it, not really. Even now he didn’t want to put Dan in a position where he had nowhere to live, so he rushed to add: “You can take some time to find a new flat, but I think it’s best if we don’t live together anymore.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Bryony and K are moving me out of your flat as we speak. I have a lease to my name already. If you thought I spent the weekend crying and waiting for the moment we met again to take your sorry ass back, you were wrong,” he smirked. “Now, if you excuse me, I have a date to get ready for.” Dan turned around and took a step towards the door but Phil caught him by the wrist.

Phil felt the vitriol in his chest making its way to his lips and before he could think about it, he said: “Yeah, go do some ‘under the desk’ overtime; see if it can get you another promotion.”

Dan twisted Phil’s wrist in the opposite direction, freeing himself from the hold and walked away. “Fuck you!” he said over his shoulder just as the door closed.

--

That night Phil sat on the floor of Dan’s empty bedroom, drinking some gin and tonic and feeling sorry for himself as he scrolled on Dan’s social media accounts. At first, there was nothing new, but then he posted a picture looking like the embodiment of sex with black leather trousers and a black silk shirt with the caption “Going out tonight.” Then, two other selfies followed, and then a video of him giving the camera the middle finger and mouthing the lyrics to the song “I hate boys” by Christina Aguilera with the caption “I hate boys, but boys love me. I think they suck and my friends agree.”

It was well within his right to do what he wanted, but Phil did resent the fact that Dan was doing this purposely to hurt him. Yes, he had made a mistake and caused Dan a lot of hurt - despite him trying to pretend that he wasn’t - but he had not done so on purpose. It just happened. Phil sighed sadly.

Maybe this was for the best; maybe Dan was not the person Phil had thought he was, and he had clearly not been ready for a committed relationship like the one Phil was looking for. He took another swig from his drink and remembered the sweet omega from the pub. He got up and padded to his bedroom, opening his bedside table drawer and fishing the paper with his phone number out and writing a quick text.

“Hi Tom, it’s Phil. From the pub.”

“Ah, I get to know your name at long last. I thought you weren’t going to text me.”

“Sorry! I was going through some stuff.”

“Aren’t we all? Don’t worry about it. Are you still feeling shit?”

“I am, but I have drinks and I was hoping you’d come over and make me feel better.”

“Interesting offer. Will you make me breakfast in the morning?”

“I’ll make you lunch too if you want.”

“Remind me the address and I’ll be there in half an hour.”

--

Tom came into Phil’s life at the right time. His dark humour and independent personality were just what Phil needed. Tom had a talent for being there for the times where Phil needed someone around, to feel less lonely, to feel wanted, provide him with the cuddles and kisses he so desperately craved but allowing him to have his space too. If he texted Phil and he noticed that he was not excited to hang out, he would simply tell him they could meet another day. He was honestly a blessing; especially with how things were unfolding.

Dan had absolutely no mercy for him. He kept posting picture after picture of him looking incredibly sexy, sometimes using sheer shirts and displaying his nipples, other times exposing his neck and biting his lip, and a few that looked outright like post-sex selfies, a lazy smile on his lips, sweaty fringe sticking to his forehead hickeys all over his neck and chest. But that wasn’t all, he posted story after story with song lyrics in a mix of bitterness laced with narcissism and gloating about fucking everyone he could get his hands on. The final nail in the coffin was him singing ‘You outta know,’ particularly with the caption “And every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back I hope you feel it,” followed by a picture of him and Charles kissing at a club with the caption “Look at what the cat dragged in.”

Phil knew he’d been right all along mere days later when one of the receptionists let him know that Dan had notified the company of his relationship with Charles; it was official. He smiled bitterly thinking back to the night at the Skybar when Dan had said he wasn’t ready to use any labels for them, now, not a month later he had clearly gotten over that hesitation to be with Charles.

--

Dan climbed out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and looked in the mirror, tracing his fingers over all the love bites and the bruises adorning his chest with a smile. He was absolutely living for enticing sweet Charles to come out of his shell and join his wildest side. Yes, he had gotten himself a perfectly polite and vanilla boyfriend but also yes, the man could be guided in the right direction. If he really stopped to think about his feelings, he could have said that he was still devastated about -

But that was the secret; to avoid thinking. And he had mastered the art in the past few weeks. His various sex partners had kept him occupied enough to stay afloat emotionally, to feel wanted; but Charles had swept in like a knight in shining armour to really give him what he had been craving: stability, respect, reliability and above all as much sex as he wanted. The man was always up for it, he couldn’t get enough of Dan. He had mentioned that he was glad they finished the final review of his book draft before they got together or they would have never finished and Dan was inclined to agree.

Charles was really something else. Not only did he treat Dan adoringly but he had waited for Dan to be done fucking around after… what happened. He had asked Dan to be his boyfriend right away, but he understood that Dan needed to deal with his feelings as he saw fit and he said that he was free to do so. He was the perfect man.

There was a knock on the door. “Love? Breakfast is ready!”

Dan smiled and dropped the towel before opening the door. “What a coincidence, I’m most definitely ready to eat it.”

Charles’s eyes travelled up and down his body before grabbing Dan’s ass and pulling him flush to him. “You -” he said and bit Dan’s lip, “are insatiable,” Charles smirked.

“There’s no such thing as too much of a good thing.”

“Have mercy on me, my legs can barely hold me,” Charles pouted but still pressed his leg to Dan’s half-hard cock.

Dan didn’t waste time and rolled his hips against him. “Well, I guess you’ll have to just lay there let me ride you, don’t you think?”

“Hmm, sounds like the perfect weekend plan, but now we need to have breakfast and go to work.”

Dan pouted and made his best attempt at doe eyes. “Will you suck me off while I drink my coffee?”

Charles threw his head back with a laugh. “Absolutely.”

Their breakfast was quite enjoyable but Dan’s day went sour quite fast. He decided to wait outside the building and scroll on his phone while Charles went to get the car and he got a nasty surprise.

“I see you’re whoring out again. Hasn’t this one gotten bored of you yet?” A voice said.

Every single hair on Dan’s body stood before he even looked up. “What are you doing here, Alex? What do you want?” he said, trying to sound unbothered when he felt actually quite the opposite. He briefly considered dialling 999 but decided to put his phone away instead; it was time to face his biggest fear.

“I came to give you another chance to return to me; to see how wrong you were to leave,” Alex said with his classic air of superiority.

Dan laughed humorlessly. “Please,” he rolled his eyes. “Don’t hold your breath - or do and choke already, you’d be doing me a favour.”

“You’re going to regret walking away from our relationship,” Alex spat. “You’ll never find anyone who treats you like I did.”

“I sure hope not! You’re nothing but a little bitch with an inflated ego, a god complex and a small cock - and let me tell you, you come way too soon. I am done with your shit and I’m done going to the bathroom to finish myself off because you’re useless.” Dan turned around and tried to walk away but Alex caught him by the wrist.

“Where do you think you’re going? I’m not done with you!” He tightened his hold on Dan’s hand enough that it was quite painful. “You think you’re so special but everyone cheats on you because you’re worthless; this one will cheat on you too.”

Suddenly, Dan realised exactly what Alex was saying. He had been the one feeding bullshit to Phil, thinking that Dan would crawl back to him, but he had a surprise coming. Dan tried to twist his wrist but Alex was stronger, so he simply punched the bastard on the nose. He briefly wondered if his therapist would chastise him for feeling happy when he heard the crunching noise.

Alex stumbled back clutching at his nose. “Fuck! What the fuck, Dan?”

“Touch me again and you’ll regret it,” Dan said, trying not to flinch even though his hand was starting to throb. “I don’t want to see you ever again. Is that clear?”

“I guess you’re not the kind of person I thought you were,” Alex said as he stumbled away, trying to make it sound like an insult but it was the biggest compliment Dan had ever received.

Dan smiled. “Damn right. I’m not, bitch.”

Charles pulled up and opened the door for him. “Ready, love?”

“Of course!” Dan got into the car without a backwards glance. It had been a scary experience, but the fact that he had been able to fend for himself really helped him to feel safer. He didn’t need an alpha to protect him, he could do that all by himself.

Next Chapter

[signor-signor]

S3 Character Appearance Probability

Taking into account the details about the long-shelved third and final season of Wander Over Yonder, including the hints brought up by @suspendersofdisbelief, I have prepared a list of characters and their likelihood of appearing in that third season. While it’s likely that characters who appeared in The End of the Galaxy will reappear in the S3 premiere, most numbers are less than 10 because the probability of certain characters appearing in S3 is unclear.

As we already know...

Wander - 10/10

Sylvia - 10/10

Lord Hater - 10/10

Commander Peepers - 10/10

Lord Dominator (as she appeared at the end of The End of the Galaxy) - 10/10

Emperor Awesome (and his Fist Fighters) - 10/10

3 new unnamed main characters - 10/10

Watchdogs:

Andy - 10/10

Barry - 10/10

Bob - 5.5/10

Chef - 4/10

Drill Sergeant - 4/10

Giuseppe - 4/10

Jerry - 7/10

Moose - 4/10

Pete - 5.5/10

Scientist - 6/10

Ted - 5.5/10

Teddy - 5.5/10

Tim - 5.5/10

Pretty much every other notable Watchdog has a mid-to-high likelihood of appearing in S3.

Oh, and Westley - 4/10

Now for the others (I’ll think up names for unnamed characters one day)...

King Bingleborp and the Binglebops - 9/10

Mother and Child from The Egg - 3/10

Doom dragon(s) - 2/10

Celestial Star Being - 2/10

Characters from The Fugitives (including Rock Lady, Balloon Man, and red and blue ants) - 5/10

Captain Tim - 9/10

Characters from The Good Deed (including rabbit, hufflerumples, Fleeblebort, Marsha, hillbillies, birds, Gracknore, hogs, fortune teller) - 5/10

Badlands Dan and his gang - 7/10

Two-headed bartender - 3/10

Oink and the Motorhogs - 6/10

Papa Doom and the gargoyles - 5/10

Prince Cashmere and the Baa-hallans - 9/10

The Troll - 3/10

Lords of Illumination - 5/10

Giant worm from The Hat - 2/10

Rongruffle - 4/10

Killbot 86 - 4/10

The Potted Plant - 4/10

Beeza and the Ballzerians - 9/10

Buster (Surely S3 might have an episode explaining what happened to him.) - 9/10

Brad Starlight - 5/10

King Dracor and his guards - 10/10

Princess/Queen Demurra - 10/10

D&D's Children (Seriously, what are their names and who was supposed to perform them?) - 10/10

Pit monster from The Birthday Boy - 4/10

Blarpee's Cashier - 8/10

Olive and mother - 4/10

Harvax and Stok - 6/10

Sourdough/Evil Sandwhich and servants - 10/10

Kragthar - 9.5/10

Black Cube - 10/10

Kremlons - 3/10

Princess Cellophania (That’s the name of that invisible lady.) - 2/10

Trudi Traveler and clones - 5/10

Ziziks waiter - 3/10

Planet Janet and Maurice - 3/10

King of Flendar and the Flendarians - 9/10

Bobbles - 6/10

Emperor Awesome’s mother - 3/10

Huckleberry Knucklehead and his parents - 6/10

Lost and Found Guy - 6/10

Princess Galactia - 3/10

Dragor the Destructible - 3/10

Princess Veronicron - 3/10

Jim the Neon Knight of Nalpraxis - 4/10

Any other characters/creatures from The Epic Quest... - 2/10

Intergalactic Guru - 5/10

Destructor - 8.5/10

Destructor's father - 4/10

Destructor's people - 6/10

Thrax and his cohorts - 6/10

Tiki-like beings - 4/10

Electric bird mother and three chicks - 4/10

Little Bits - 9.5/10

Insurgent Generals (General Outrage, Brainz, Wild Card, Clipper) - 7/10

Locksmith - 4/10

Plumber - 4/10

Okeydokian restaurant manager - 7/10

Michelle - 7/10

Okeydokian movie director 1 - 5/10

Okeydokian movie director 2 - 5/10

Other Okeydokians - 4/10

Cluckons - 8/10

Mooplexians - 5/10

Mr. and Mrs. Brittle - 4/10

Ryder - 6/10

Weasel - 5/10

Scuzzbuckets - 4/10

Frederick - 6/10

Dr. Scrivellix - 5/10

Gelatinous Bob, Joey Protozoa, and drummer - 4/10

MOGA Curator - 5/10

Dr. Screwball Jones - 9.5/10

Squills (squirrel-like critters) from The Wanders - 2/10

Alien Queen from The Axe - 6/10

Stella Starbella (We’ve got to find a replacement for June Squibb in case she becomes senile... or worse.) - 8/10

Mittens - 10/10

King of Sherblorg 7 - 8/10

Mandrake the Malfeasant (and his ‘robuts’) - 9.5/10

General McGuffin (still in chicken bucket form) and his wingmen - 9.5/10

Something the So-and-So - 9/10

Some other minor villains - 2/10

Flankarians - 5/10

Zetuons - 5/10

Major Threat/Jeff - 10/10

Schmartians - 9.5/10

Stacy and her new boyfriend - 5/10

Landlord and fast food boss - 4/10

Teen Leader, Weasly Teen, Obvious Teen - 6/10

Tracy (The Black Cube’s new girlfriend) - 8/10

Hooded Refugees from The Secret Planet - 9.5/10

Clancy and Nancy Shmancy  - 6/10

Camera family tourists - 6/10

Cloaked refugees - 4/10

Hat Shop Owner - 5/10

Bunny-like beings from The Show Stopper - 4/10

Bot 13/Beep Boop (in picture strip form) - 6/10

Bill, Phil, and Gil - 6/10

Dorothy - 6/10

Gram - 6/10

Sylvia’s father (in a flashback) - 8/10

Melodie, Angela, David, Jamie and Hank - 4/10

Buttler, Gluteus/Todd, and High Gnee Council - 4/10

Major Threat’s right-hand squid-man and minions - 3/10

Admiral Admirable  - 5/10

Orbble and Wilmur Wright - 6/10

Chad - 5/10

Princess Remora (alongside Brad Starlight) - 5/10

Slug Boss, Nephew, Grandsons, and Mummy Thugs - 5/10

Ripov - 10/10

Arachnomorph Queen - 2/10

Frankenstein Monster - 1/10

Phantomimes - 1/10

Ms. Myrtle the Eternal Turtle - 7/10

Neckbeard - 10/10

Bitties - 1/10

Robomechabotasquad (from the end tag) - 2/10

Giant Bee - 1/10

Space Ape (Whom I think Wander might call “Hubert.”) - 10/10

2 new unnamed regulars - 10/10

In the case of new minor characters, I’m thinking the following might appear: a karate sensei, a therapist, a madcap sidekick, a ranger, a sentient vehicle, a rapper, a pop idol... that’s all I’ve got for now.

If you have any other thoughts and predictions about who is likely to appear in S3, feel free to share them!

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics With Titles That Start With S (2) Masterlist

part one

Sacrilegious (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: Dan Howell was a good kid. A Catholic, growing up in Mass and youth group. But, after meeting Phil Lester, his life drastically changed, turning the quiet and meek boy into a wild child.

Said Too Much (But Not Enough) (ao3) - amazingphiw

Summary: Phil tries to make Valentine's Day special again. Just for the two of them.

Same Sky (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Dan is going to India for two weeks with his family, leaving him and Phil to navigate the longest time they've spent apart since they first met.

Sauvage (ao3) - covetsubjugation

Summary: When Dan and Phil fail to leave the country in time, they are trapped in the UK during the most dangerous time of the year. What are they to do when their safe house gets broken into during The Purge?

Scared To Be Lonely - paradisobound

Summary: Phil begins school at a new high school to avoid his past, however, he doesn’t intend for how much his life is going to change. He meets Dan, the one he’s first warned about, and develops a quick attraction for him. But when things begin to look up for Phil, someone else comes in and breaks the norm.

Scientific Curiosity - cityofphanchester

Summary: Phil’s never had real friends, and someone’s scrawled their number across a cubicle door.

scratch bark bite (oh, love me, i lied) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Music & Drama teacher Dan Howell has a well-known rivalry with his coworker, English teacher Phil Lester.

An unforeseen event flips everything Dan thought he knew about Phil and himself on its head. Slowly but surely, the grudge withers, and the two of them cross the line between enemy and friend. But what will happen when their true intents and feelings get revealed? And was what they had ever really a rivalry? Was it even mutual?

Secrets Can Kill - thatonesmoshyphangirl

Summary: Forget-Me-Not high school lies in a normal town with normal kids. However, when student Pj Liguori is found dead and alone on the theatre stage, will students spill the secrets they’ve held for so long? Unravel the mystery through a detective’s eyes. The doors locked shut, windows tightly closed; there is no escaping.

Shameless - jestbee

Summary: Dan knows what he needs. He needs to feel the weight of everything slide away, just for a moment. And he knows Phil needs to feel as if he has some control. He knows exactly how this could all be resolved, what they do when it starts to feel like this.

Shoes With the Zips (ao3) - phandomghostwriter

Summary: Phil borrows a pair of Dan’s shoes for a date. When things start going really weird he learns a lesson about living someone’s life in their shoes.

Siri - washedoutgay

Summary: Dan gets a new iPhone, and every detail is wonderful. Especially Siri. Especially when he lets him call him Phil, because nicknames are very important, especially with artificial intelligence.

Sk8ter Boi - sexyassphan

Summary: Based of Avril Lavigne’s song Sk8er Boi with Pastel!Dan and punk!Phil Phil learns what love is but also how to be broken from it, Dan helps him learn both of them things. who will face the consequences.

Smiled, And It Was Perfect (ao3) - winstonlives

Summary: Dan and Phil in Jamaica on a youtuber trip. Their relationship is still pretty young, but the love is real. So are the bugs.

Spiderman Kisses (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: The famous Spiderman kiss, except they're not caught in the rain and Dan isn't kissing Phil on the lips.

Steal My Heart (steal my whole life too) - auroraphilealis

Summary: Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince of Morellia, Philip Lester has never been given the chance to find love. Instead, he’s run from a system that works to end class differences and improve equality for its citizens. Happy as he is to make the world a better place, Phil can’t help feeling bitter towards his ancestors for making it impossible for him to find someone who will actually love him for more than just his title, and strives instead for a life of justice and doing good - only to meet his match in the King of Thieves, a man who will change everything he once thought he knew in life. Together, they must depart on a quest to save the kingdom, and, in the process, destroy their differences and find their own form of love.

Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY (ao3) - natigail

Summary: @danielhowell: maybe i’d actually consider doing @bbcstrictly if they allowed same-sex couples. who wouldn’t want a sexy man spinning you around? it’s not just a girl’s dream. c'mon people let’s see some pretty and fierce girls pair up and handsome and strong boys get it on. i dare you.

Dan Howell calls Strictly out on Twitter for not allowing any same-sex couples and accidentally volunteers himself to be one of the contestants if they were to change that. It was a joke. It had so clearly been a joke. Why did they take him up on it?! He’s sure he’ll trip over his own feet and hate every second, but then he meets his partner, the endearingly clumsy dancer Phil Lester.

strike a deal, kiss my lips (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Witches were the only magical beings capable of binding and controlling demons. It required a complicated ritual and crazy amounts of magic.

It happening on accident was practically unheard of until Phil came along and got tangled up with a snarky and dangerous demon named Dan. Suddenly bound together, Phil must grapple with control over a chaotic demon that wants to strip the skin from his bones.

And maybe strip the clothes off of his body as well.

Super Amazing Project: Unsolved (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: They find a hallway once they’re inside with a big, wide, broken window. It lets in more than enough light to film and the shot of the graffitied wall behind them is interesting. Phil sets up the tripod. They stand in frame, a safe foot of space between them. They both clear their throats. “Hey guys, and welcome to another episode of The Super Amazing Project!” A fic about canon divergence and hauntings.

super soul (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: Phil has spent his whole life believing that meeting his soulmate will give his life the meaning he’s been looking for.

Then he meets Dan.

Starstruck - paradisobound

Summary: Phil attends all of Dan Howell’s concerts. In fact, he makes it a rule to even record every one he goes to. You could say he was in love with Dan Howell and in fact, that wouldn’t be a lie because he’s actually Dan’s fiancé. Too bad Dan’s fans see him as the creepy guy at Dan’s concerts.

[pearlposts]

The Best of Soft Rock: More Than A Feeling

 SONG TITLE                                ARTIST       TIME

Lowdown                                     Boz Scaggs    5:18

Whenever I Call You “Friend”  Kenny Loggins    3:18

Piano Man                                    Billy Joel         5:40

Longer                                     Dan Fogelberg    3:18

Miracles                                Jefferson Starship  3:33

Lost in Love                              Air Supply          3:55

More Than I Can Say              Leo Sayer            3:39

Rosanna                                         Toto              4:03

More Than a Feeling                  Boston              3:26

Take It on the Run               REO Speedwagon  3:37

Make Me Lose Control           Eric Carmen         4:48

Total Eclipse of the Heart       Bonnie Tyler         5:35

Living Inside Myself              Gino Vannelli          4:25

The Flame                            Cheap Trick            4:50

Sara                                        Starship               4:23

SONG TITLE                                  ARTIST                   TIME

Livin’ Thing                         Electric Light Orchestra        3:34

This Is It                ��                  Kenny Loggins                 3:59

Africa                                                Toto                          4:59

Eye In The Sky                      Alan Parsons Project          4:35

Look What You’ve Done to Me       Boz Scaggs                5:18

You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling Daryl Hall & John Oates  4:36

All Out Of Love                              Air Supply                    4:03

Can’t Fight This Feeling           REO Speedwagon            4:55

The Search Is Over                        Survivor                       4:14

All by Myself                               Eric Carmen                    7:11

Without You                               Harry Nilsson                   3:21

Year of the Cat                           Al Stewart                        6:38

Dust in the Wind                         Kansas                            3:27

Vincent                                    Don McLean                       4:01

Please Come to Boston         David Loggins                     4:09

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                  TIME

Baby I’m-a Want You                           Bread                                   2:32

A Horse with No Name                       America                                 4:09

Diamond Girl                                    Seals & Crofts                          4:04

I Saw the Light                                 Todd Rundgren                         3:01

Blinded by the Light                Manfred Mann's Earth Band              3:51

It Might Be You                               Stephen Bishop                          4:14

She’s Gone/Sara Smile/Rich Girl        Hall & Oates                           3:29

Minute By Minute                         The Doobie Brothers                     3:28

Sentimental Lady                                Bob Welch                              3:46

How Much I Feel                                 Ambrosia                                 4:44

Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime The Korgis                               4:12

If You Leave Me Now                          Chicago                                   3:57

Sailing                                        Christopher Cross                             4:17

Waiting For A Girl Like You             Foreigner                                     4:52

Against All Odds                            Phil Collins                                    3:25

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                              TIME

Ride Like the Wind                        Christopher Cross                                  4:32

Saturday in the Park                          Chicago                                              3:57

Sister Golden Hair                              America                                              3:20

You’re So Vain                                Carly Simon                                            4:18

If                                                          Bread                                                  2:35

Ooh Baby Baby                              Linda Ronstadt                                        2:42

Him                                                Rupert Holmes                                         3:40

You Are the Woman                         Firefall                                                    2:45

All I Need                                       Jack Wagner                                             3:32

Walking In Memphis                       Marc Cohn                                                4:19

Making Love Out Of Nothing At All  Air Supply                                                5:01

I Want to Know What Love Is        Foreigner                                                   5:00

The Living Years                    Mike + the Mechanics                                       5:33

Drive                                               The Cars                                                   3:57

One More Night                           Phil Collins                                                   4:48

I’ll Be There                             The Escape Club                                             4:57

SONG TITLE                                                     ARTIST                                TIME

Summer Breeze                                           Seals & Crofts                             3:26

Key Largo                                                     Bertie Higgins                             3:19

Make It with You                                                 Bread                                    3:12

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?     Chicago                               3:22

Dream Weaver                                           Gary Wright                                  4:18

Hello It’s Me                                            Todd Rundgren                                3:52

Sara Smile                                      Daryl Hall and John Oates                       3:12

Chuck E.’s In Love                             Rickie Lee Jones                                  3:28

Black Water                                  The Doobie Brothers                                 4:16

Still the One                                             Orleans                                           3:56

Hurt So Bad                                      Linda Ronstadt                                      3:18

Cool Change                                  Little River Band                                      4:08

Biggest Part Of Me                            Ambrosia                                              5:27

Never Be the Same                    Christopher Cross                                       4:41

You Can Do Magic                           America                                                 3:57

SONG TITLE                                    ARTIST                                                TIME

The Guitar Man                                 Bread                                                   3:45

Tin Man                                           America                                                  3:27

Wildfire                               Michael Martin Murphey                                     4:50

25 or 6 to 4                                  Chicago                                                     4:52

Lotta Love                               Nicolette Larson                                             2:43

What a Fool Believes         The Doobie Brothers                                          2:27

Steal Away                              Robbie Dupree                                              3:31

You’re the Only Woman              Ambrosia                                                   4:22

Sexy Eyes                                Dr. Hook                                                       3:00

Kiss You All Over                       Exile                                                           3:30

Even the Nights Are Better   Air Supply                                                       3:59

Arthur’s Theme                  Christopher Cross                                             3:55

Dance with Me                       Orleans                                                         3:21

Beautiful in My Eyes            Joshua Kadison                                              4:10

Black Velvet                        Alannah Myles                                                 4:48

SONG TITLE                        ARTIST                                                         TIME

California Dreamin’      The Mamas & The Papas                                       2:54

Kokomo                        The Beach Boys                                                     3:36

Ventura Highway             America                                                               3:32

Listen to the Music      The Doobie Brothers                                               3:27

I Can See Clearly Now     Johnny Nash                                                     2:43

It Never Rains in Southern California  Albert Hammond                             3:38

Thank You For Being A Friend            Andrew Gold                                   4:45

Everything I Own                                    Bread                                           3:07

When Will I Be Loved                     Linda Ronstadt                                     2:10

I Keep Forgettin’                         Michael McDonald                                    3:41

Baby Come Back                               Player                                                2:16

Circle in the Sand                       Belinda Carlisle                                         4:27

Hold On                                     Wilson Phillips                                            3:41

I’ll Be Over You                              Toto                                                        3:50

Just the Way It Is, Baby          The Rembrandts                                           4:09

 SONG TITLE                            ARTIST                                                     TIME

We Don’t Talk Anymore       Cliff Richard                                                      4:13

Baker Street                       Gerry Rafferty                                                     2:13

When Your in Love with a Beautiful Woman  Dr. Hook                                  2:56

Fool (If You Think It’s Over)       Chris Rea                                                     3:33

You’re No Good                     Linda Ronstadt                                                 3:46

Reminiscing                        Little River Band                                                 3:17

The Air That I Breathe           The Hollies                                                       4:12

Sad Eyes                            Robert John                  ��                                     1:55

I Go Crazy                          Paul Davis                                                           5:23

Hearts                                Marty Balin                                                           4:19

These Dreams                     Heart                                                                  4:17

Jessie                           Joshua Kadison                                                         4:22

Release Me                   Wilson Phillips                                                          3:54

The Doctor                 The Doobie Brothers                                                    3:45

SONG TITLE                    ARTIST                                                               TIME

Maggie May                Rod Stewart                                                               5:15

Higher and Higher      Rita Coolidge                                                             4:01

Whatcha Gonna Do?  Pablo Cruise                                                              4:15

I’m in You                   Peter Frampton                                                           4:11

Drift Away                     Dobie Gray                                                              3:56

More Love                   Kim Carnes                                                               3:37

Babe                             Styx                                                                         4:01

Into The Night        Benny Mardones                                                            4:31

It’s a Heartache       Bonnie Tyler                                                                 3:45

While You See a Chance   Steve Winwood                                                 4:06

Show Me the Way       Peter Frampton                                                        2:30

Fooled Around and Fell in Love    Elvin Bishop                                           4:37

Lonesome Loser           Little River Band                                                     3:54

I’m Not in Love                10 CC                                                                    6:07

I Just Wanna Stop         Gino Vannelli                                                           3:37

SONG TITLE                    ARTIST                                                              TIME

Daniel                          Elton John                                                                3:53

I Need You                   America                                                                    3:07

I Can Dream About You    Dan Hartman                                                       4:11

Escape                      Rupert Holmes                                                            3:54

I’d Really Love to See You Tonight  England Dan & John Ford Coley          2:38

On and On                 Stephen Bishop                                                          3:01

Tempted                        Squeeze                                                                  4:01

The Things We Do For Love   10 CC                                                           3:31

The Best of Times           Styx                                                                      4:18

Cry                       Godley and Creme                                                          3:55

Your Wildest Dreams   The Moody Blues                                                    4:51

Higher Love                 Steve Winwood                                                       5:46

More Than Words           Extreme                                                               5:36

I’d Do Anything for Love    Meat Loaf                                                          5:17

Do You Feel Like We Do      Peter Frampton                                              7:20

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                          TIME

So In to You             Atlanta Rhythm Section                                             4:23

Fly, Robin, Fly           Silver Connection                                                     3:50

Sentimental Lady        Bob Welch                                                              3:46

Show And Tell             Al Wilson                                                                 3:29

Wild Flower             The New Birth                                                             3:59

Delta Dawn             Helen Reddy                                                               3:09

American Pie          Don McLean                                                                8:35

Rock Me Gently      Andy Kim                                                                     3:29

Go All The Way      The Raspberries                                                          3:22

Mr. Big Stuff            Jean Knight                                                                 2:49

Oh Babe, What Would You Say     Hurricane Smith                                   3:26

Hooked On A Feeling     Blue Swede                                                         2:53

 Having My Baby           Paul Anka                                                             2:33

Last Song                     Edward Bear                                                          3:13

The Streak                   Ray Stevens                                                           3:18

SONG TITLE                  ARTIST                                                               TIME

Rhinestone Cowboy   Glen Campbell                                                         3:16

Too Late To Turn Back Now  Cornelius Brothers And Sister Rose             3:20

Boogie Fever             The Sylvers                                                              3:30

Reminiscing            Little River Band                                                         3:17

I Just Want To Celebrate    Rare Earth                                                      2:54

One Bad Apple           The Osmonds                                                         2:43

Have You Never Been Mellow   Olivia Newton-John                                 3:33

Magic                            Pilot                                                                      3:05

Boogie Oogie Oogie     A Taste of Honey                                                  3:38

Right Back Where We Started From   Maxine Nightingale                        3:15

Sad Eyes                        Robert John                                                        1:55

Gonna Fly Now                Bill Conti                                                            2:48

My Sharona                  The Knack                                                            4:02

You Sexy Thing          Hot Chocolate                                                        4:05

Puppy Love               Donny Osmond                                                       3:06

SONG TITLE                 ARTIST                                                              TIME

Love Train                  The O'Jays                                                              2:58

Knock Three Times     Dawn                                                                      2:55

Brandy                    Looking Glass                                                             3:04

Little Willy                  Sweet                                                                       3:12

Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me    Mac Davis                                              3:06

Take Me Home, Country Roads    John Denver                                         3:13

It Never Rains in Southern California   Albert Hammond                           3:38

Brand New Key                Melanie                                                              2:26

Come and Get Your Love       Redbone                                                      3:32

More. More, More (Part 1)      Andrea True Connection                              3:02

I Can See Clearly Now         Johnny Nash                                                  2:43

Everybody Plays the Fool     The Main Ingredient                                       3:22

Indian Reservation             Paul Revere & The Raiders                              2:52

The Cover of “Rolling Stone”   Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show                2:55

When Will I See You Again      The Three Degrees                                     3:00

SONG TITLE                           ARTIST                                                      TIME

Rich Girl                    Daryl Hall and John Oates                                        2:23

Lady Marmalade                    LaBelle                                                         3:21

Best of My Love              The Emotions                                                      3:41

Fire                             The Pointer Sisters                                                  3:28

Miracles                        Jefferson Starship                                                 3:33

You Make Me Feel Like Dancing    Leo Sayer                                            2:51

Here You Come Again         Dolly Parton                                                   2:58

Disco Lady                        Johnnie Taylor                                                  4:25

Saturday Night                Bay City Rollers                                                  2:56

Rock On                           David Essex                                                      3:26

Wildfire                  Michael Martin Murphey                                              4:50

You Take My Breath Away   Rex Smith                                                    3:15

I Go Crazy                      Paul Davis                                                         5:23

Stumblin’ In        Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman                                      3:31

Torn Between Two Lovers    Mary MacGregor                                         3:44

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                          TIME

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown     Jim Croce                                                         3:00

Don’t Pull Your Love     Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds                          2:41

Love Will Keep Us Together  Captain and Tennille with Neil Sedaka        3:24

Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song  B.J. Thomas             3:22

She’s A Lady                 Tom Jones                                                           2:51

How Do You Do?       Mouth & MacNeal                                                   4:07

Black and White        Three Dog Night                                                      3:51

Escape                      Rupert Holmes                                                        3:54

Drift Away                 Dobie Gray                                                              3:56

It’s a Love Beat     The DeFranco Family                                                 3:09

I’m in You               Peter Frampton                                                          4:11

The Candy Man     Sammy Davis, Jr.                                                      3:10

Spiders & Snakes   Jim Stafford                                                              3:05

Billy, Don’t Be A Hero  Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods                       3:40

The Morning After     Maureen McGovern                                                2:20

SONG TITLE                                   ARTIST                                          TIME

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves          Cher                                               2:36

Maggie May                                Rod Stewart                                         5:15

Baby Come Back                            Player                                              2:16

I Just Wanna Stop                   Gino Vannelli                                           3:37

Jackie Blue                 Ozark Mountain Daredevils                                  3:37

Higher And Higher               Rita Coolidge                                              4:01

I’m Not in Love                           10 CC                                                   6:07

Y.M.C.A.                               Village People                                            3:45

Will It Go Round in Circles     Billy Preston                                              3:46

I Just Want to Be Your Everything   Andy Gibb                                        3:44

Do You Wanna Make Love        Peter McCann                                        4:01

Signs                            Five Man Electrical Band                                    4:02

Disco Duck                              Rick Dees                                                3:14

Montego Bay                       Bobby Bloom                                               2:55

If I Can’t Have You            Yvonne Elliman                                              3:00

SONG TITLE                         ARTIST                                                     TIME

Play That Funky Music      Wild Cherry                                                    3:16

One Toke Over the Line    Brewer & Shipley                                            3:21

Afternoon Delight          Starland Vocal Band                                           3:14

Life is a Rock                      Reunion                                                        3:31

I Can Help                         Billy Swan                                                       2:57

My Maria                       B.W. Stevenson                                                  2:31

Magnet and Steel            Walter Egan                                                     3:25

Beach Baby                    First Class                                                         2:42

The Rapper                   The Jaggerz                                                        2:45

Brother Louie                  Stories                                                               3:57

Precious and Few            Climax                                                              2:46

O-o-h Child               The 5 Stairsteps                                                      3:15

Playground in My Mind    Clint Holmes                                                     2:57

Put Your Hand In The Hand   Ocean                                                        2:53

Please Come to Boston    David Loggins                                                  4:09

SONG TITLE                      ARTIST                                                         TIME

Turn The Beat Around    Vicki Sue Robinson                                            3:24

Ring My Bell                     Anita Ward                                                        3:31

Sometimes When We Touch   Dan Hill                                                      2:22

Rose Garden               Lynn Anderson                                                      2:49

In The Summertime      Mungo Jerry                                                         3:37

Seasons in the Sun      Terry Jacks                                                           3:30

The Night Chicago Died   Paper Lace                                                       3:32

Rock The Boat            Hues Corporation                                                  3:09

Don’t Give Up on Us        David Soul                                                        3:39

Kung Fu Fighting         Carl Douglas                                                         3:17

Love Grows                Edison Lighthouse                                                  2:51

Sweet Mary              Wadsworth Mansion                                                 2:42

The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia   Vicki Lawrence                     3:36

TSOP             MFSB featuring the Three Degrees                                   3:35

Feelings                    Morris Albert                                                            3:45

[fictropes]

F and S?? (your dialogue is iconic so I'm interested to see what's one of your faves!!!)

OH SCREAM thankyou so mcuh ! i’m so glad people like it <3

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“I like receiving pain during sex, then seeing the results afterward. So bruises, bites, puncture wounds from where i’ve used my vampire tendencies on Daniel Howell.”

“You love it.” He settles back against the cushions, regarding Dan with a tilt of the head, a raised eyebrow above new glasses. “Why are we doing this?”

“Cos we’ve never done it before. We just go at each other with no academic quiz background.” He looks expectant, pen poised and ready to go.

“I don’t think this is an academic quiz, don’t remember taking it at uni.”

“It’s academic, this isn’t some buzzfeed bullshit. Take it seriously, I will be grading you at the end on a level of I like to do it in missionary only to I want a needle up my urethra.”

Phil visibly pales, shakes his head so quickly he gets a little dizzy. “That isn’t a thing, shutup.” He grabs for Dan’s phone, misses it entirely.

“It’s a thing, bub. Don’t kink shame.” He’s smirking, cos he’s a shit and takes too much pleasure in making Phil squirm. “Now answer my original question. The pain one.”

(it’s just like so stupid and so content lol like Dan has no trouble asking all these wild questions because he knows phil will join him for the ride. like they trust each other so much and know they can talk about whatever and it be CHILL. I just had fun writing this fic in general ! i can’t do serious smut so fun smut is like my go to and this fic [linked for context lol] was like ideal for that) 

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

it’s not really a trope ... BUT if i don’t write about mario or buffy in a fic then i immediately die. also... i’m a sucker for just AUS  literally nearlly... any. like the idea of the meeting in any world and falling in love ? *chefs kiss*

[chemicalarospec]

23 and 24

:)

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

Oh man, I thought I’d be starting on my homework, but no. (Edit: Apparently I’m not doing any homework because my mom is sending me to bed.) 

This ended up very topically messy, as I just wrote it as I thought of it. It also got very long and personal. I took out the personal bits but in short: January 4th was my grandmother’s funeral, and also I started crying like a normal person. 

CW: COVID-19 mention. The wild topic changes might make some of it worse. 

Keep thinking about those MCR guys. It’ll stay with you for a long time. 

Please stop being awkward around your English teacher and PLEASE don’t be overly vulnerable in remote school. Also your writing’s pretty good, keep working on that. 

That “China’s Test”? Not anymore. And don’t think it’s going to be quick. You’re going to lose a lot you can never get back, and I know you’re bad with that, I know you’re really bad with that, those “never”s and “forever”s, but somehow I’m doing okay so I know you will too. 

Clean out your drawers. Please do that. 

Oh, checkout The Brobecks. You’ll like them. Also you might not latch onto those Dan and Phil guys when you first search them up, but it’ll be important later. 

You might get a crush. I’m not sure. You fake a crush “for fun” and then get very caught up in it and I’m not really sure how real it was. Even if it was real, I’m not sure if it counts if you trained your brain to do it. 

When Techno starts streaming SMPs follow him because now you feel like a fan of something so popular and generic that it’s uncool. 

Yeah, chickadee (go back to saying that I miss that), it’s gonna be a rough year but it’ll be a’okay and honestly I don’t really know. It’s be great if you got more organized for me, but yeah, no. I love you. 

24. Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions?

Did I make any? Once covid hit, I was really good at keeping my resolution to walk every day. I’m too cynical about the man-made nature of the date of the new year to make them ahhahah. 

Thanks for the ask! :)

[freckliedan]

What exactly was pigeon fest 2018 why did they livestream pigeons for 5 hours

oh anon. thank you for this gift. i genuinely love chances to explain dnp's wild nonsense, and this one's a doozy

so, dan and phil have a history of posting things for april fools' day. 2015 thru 2017, they uploaded to danandphilCRAFTS; i genuinely consider 2017's video, potato prints, to be a short horror film and one of their greatest pieces of art to this very day. the homerotic overtones...

anyways. they were done with that after 3 years, but knew people expected them to do something big, so as far as i remember they just.. tweeted the pigeonfest liveshow link and streamed their mostly-empty porch for 5 hours straight. like, they didn't really explain ANYTHING, and people watched the whole livestream anyways. (i'm pretty sure dnp knew that people WOULD when they decided that was their prank for the year).

i couldn't watch, because i was at work that day, but seeing ppl slowly go absolutely feral on my dash was an EXPERIENCE. especially once people realized dan had gone to his family's easter celebration at some point during pigeonfest, meaning that he and phil probably kissed goodbye when he left, so. feral turned apeshit very quickly.

i hope that answers your question b! i think they did it because they could.

[art-by-rozzai]

had a bad day so more band au headcannons

anyone who wants to write a fic for this is absolutely allowed if they tag me, i’m not gonna make any full length ones but i might post some one shots eventually

anyway i had a really shitty day so here’s me self projecting and creating more band headcannons

check out the first here~

check out the second here~

tag list~

@athenashipsthings @thelesbianspoon @flowersheep @insert--self--hatred @nafsbluebery @sunflowerss0 @nerdiegurlie @stars-and-rose

okays lets do this✨

so last when we left the boys, it’s the day before they release their album “death of a bachelor”

to celebrate, roman suggests they get dinner out and maybe go see a movie??

logan is suprisingly the first to agree, saying that if he doesn’t get to watch the “scary stories to tell in the dark” movie soon he will explode. plus there’s no food in the fridge

virgil is also down to go see the movie, but is more reluctant to get dinner. he hates formal things, so to make him feel more comfortable roman offers they go to the local diner that he knows has virgil’s favorite chicken parm dish and virgil can’t say no to that

patton doesn’t want to see the movie at first-he really doesn’t like scary movies. but he wants dinner with his friends and he might be able to latch onto logan during the scary parts so he goes with it

so patton offers go help virgil with his hair and they end up getting ready together! they talk about everything they can think of as patton does hair and virgil does makeup and they both do each other’s nails and then they’re ready to go out whooooppp

meanwhile roman collapsed on logan’s bed an hour ago and began complaining about how he needed to impress virgil to get him to fall in love with him and has been talking ever since

logan doesn’t mind tho, roman helps him pick out a nice outfit and gives tips on how to woo patt

even though it’s not a date

yet

anyways they get to the diner and they all have an incredible time! by the end of the meal they’re in tears laughing at each other, from roman’s hysterical stories to virgil’s banter to logan’s fun facts and spilt tea to patton’s enthusiastic impressions

they love each over like family :)

and the movie is top notch. virgil is in love with it, him and logan spend the whole time guessing what’s going to happen while roman hides behind virgil and patton shoves his face full of popcorn and squish himself into logan’s arm

and yes virgil can’t stop laughing and logan’s immediate tensing up and blushing

after the movie they just don’t want to go to bed quite yet, so the friends head to the park and enjoy lying in the grass, talking and letting logan point out the stars while roman makes up stories of the aliens and space princesses that protect the galaxy

virgil makes everyone his famous hot chocolate and they stay up until midnight to release their songs

and then the clock strikes 12 and death of a bachelor is available to download

the boys decide that staying up and watching the comments flood in is a terrible idea and instead they put on some disney films and fall asleep on the couch

it’s nice

they wake up to millions of notifications

everyone is freaking the fuck out

this album ??? is beautiful ???

all of the fans are in love but also have a lot of questions-so the fab four start doing monthly live-streams to just chat and answer questions and catch up with their fans

“are y’all single?”

um

well yes

but uh

this question is not goOD ROMAN WHAT THE FU-

anyway virgil comes to patton one day, slams the door, puts his face in a pillow and screams “PATT IM SO GAY HELP”

because roman called his hair pretty this morning and yes it’s stupid and it happens all the time but this time was different

don’t worry tho they won’t admit their feelings to one and other for another three months

death of a bachelor does really well-all of the songs end up going either gold or platinum

their song “victorious” is played on the radio all of the time

so november rolls around and the friends decide it’s time to go on tour! starting with just north america, they post a video on the youtube channel that gives all the locations and dates

it’s to start in april:

virgil is extremely nervous. being on the road for so long and preforming live in front of thousands of people and will anyone even show up and-

logan is slightly nervous but honestly he really enjoys preforming-once he ties the tie around his head like a bandanna he almost transforms into the punk rock bassist he is known by the fans to be

patton!!! is!!! bouncy!!!!!!!! he wants to meet all these people!!!! and he can’t wait to give back to all of them by preforming and meet and greets and social interaction makes him really happy!!

roman is so excited-preforming is his thing. when he’s on a stage, he’s in his element! he can’t wait to show off and travel and be with his friends for even longer :)

but they can’t go on tour with their boring old instruments sooooo

roman and patton team up to paint and decorate all of the instruments

virgil’s piano matches his jacket, lots of purple and swirls and patton paints the classic nightmare before christmas scene on the front (u know, this one but stationary)

and they decorate the microphone stand purple and silver and black

logan gets a dope space themed bass-the outside is dark blue and the inside is painted like a galaxy, with a plain silver pick

roman paints his gutair with a castle and sunset in the back, with a bright red pick to play

patton’s drums have clouds on them nowww like a sunny day with blue puffy clouds

they’re ready to go! but it’s still only december so u kNoW whAt ThaT mEaNs

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

since none of the squad are jewish, (although technically patton is half jew since his mom is, but he just really loves christmas and always celebrated that growing up so)

they decide to celebrate at their house

they invite all of their close family to the apartment and have a lovely dinner

and yeah virgil doesn’t invite anyone cuz he was adopted by a shitty family who he doesn’t talk to anymore, bcuz all they did was try and get money out of him

and yeah he has a panic attack when all of his best friends are excitedly talking about their family coming over

and y e a h roman helps him calm down and swears that he will always b there to protect virgil bcuz he’s never met anyone quite like him and it’s not easy to explain but he just wants virgil to know he’s safe with roman

and yeah virgil wishes he could stop falling for roman but the ground keeps disappearing beneath him

so time skip a bit closer to christmas and logan bursts into romans room with an idea

“i can rap”

“we know”

“you can rap”

“kind of but okay”

“christmas rap song for fun”

“yeS”

so they write “gonna kill santa claus” (look it up) and decide to post it on the youtube channel on christmas eve

they film a music video for it where they jokingly set up different traps for santa like poison cookies and fire cracker chimneys and more

virgil sings the chorus, logan raps the rap parts, roman does the bridge, and patton lays down a pretty sick beat

it comes out really nice and honestly really fucking funny

so after a delightful family dinner with everyone over, the friends release that video and the internet fucking dies it’s so funny and logan can rap (??????) and ohmygod all of them are so cute what the fuck

anyway back to christmas dinner

roman has like 6 little sisters, and his mom and dad and papa and nana over

(he’s latino, his mom and dad are both from the dominican republic)

patton invites his mom and dad and little brothers, thomas and dee

and logan invites his two moms

everyone comes over for lunch and gets along reallyyyyyy well

logan’s got the punk mom and soft mom dynamic whereas, patton’s family is all super kind and like homey and boisterous and romans family is wild and crazy and funny and they all instantly click

presents are passed around, lots of money and books and movies and stickers and jewelry

really sweet stuff

and then everyone goes home and the friends have their own little gift exchange

virgil got logan the stephen king book “insomnia” and a (sort of) joke blanket with benedict cumberbatch’s face on it that he can use when he goes stargazing at night

logan gets virgil some noise cancelling headphones and a framed picture of a wedding with virgil’s face cropped on one and gerard ways face on the other

they both can’t stop laughing at the fact they attacked each other’s celeb crush

virgil gets patton a cute little cat stuffed animal that when u push the hand it’s a recording of all of them saying “we love you!!!” and a really sweet card

patton gets virgil a eyore necklace that was super expensive but matches patton’s winnie the pooh one and a itunes card for him to buy more music (and yes a really sweet card)

virgil gets roman two tickets to see mean girls on broadway and a framed picture of the two of them

yeah roman tears up a bit fuck u

roman gets virgil a collage of him and roman and a handmade hoodie that virgil is never going to take off oh and also meet and greet passes to see dan and phil at their interactive introverts tour

and maybe virge gets a little teary too

roman gets patton a recipie book and an apron that says “you BAKE my day”

patton gets roman a new ukelele and a printed out pamphlete of theatre song chords that he can play

roman gets logan the sherlock script and an empty box just to fuck with him

logan gets roman the entire grimm fairytale series and tapes a note to the front that says “bcuz u are an illiterate fool😜”

patton gets logan a phone case with the stars that were out on the day they met, hand painted framed picture of him and logan, and comic con tickets for this spring

logan gets patton tickets to the art museum downtown, a gift card to the coffee shop next to it, and two gold hoop earrings with a note that says “next week, friday at 7. it’s a date ;)”

so christmas is pretty good for all :))))))

and that’s the end of this one i’ll make a part four soon lmao