#it’s what tamsyn would’ve wanted

[spacerockband]

one more for the TLT/Soul Eater crossover

[psyche-reads]

It’s what Tamsyn Muir would’ve wanted

[sapphobolide]

FFXIVWrite Day 9 — "Lend an Ear"

Rain drummed on the roof of the Pendants, and gusted into Tamsyn’s room on the wind. Her window was open, because the ghost that was haunting her wanted to look at the night sky.

“You won’t see the stars till the clouds pass,” she said from the kitchenette. “Or have you forgotten how that works?”

“Just the rain’s enough,” Ardberta murmured, though Tamsyn still heard her. “After so long…Gods, I wish I could feel it.”

“Well, I can. It’s cold.” The kettle whistled, and Tamsyn busied herself with taking another crack at her room’s coffee maker. Rather than a traditional brewer like she might find in Limsa Lominsa, the Crystarium had thin devices that held ground coffee and hot water in two tiny, stacking chambers. Screw them on tight and pull a lever, and a plunger pushed the water through the coffee until it dribbled out into a small ceramic mug. The concentrated, bitter liquid had reminded her more of Garlean espresso than anything else. She had a few ideas to improve it, though. “If you’re going to let get my rugs wet, the least you could do is help me with my Vrandtic.”

“You have the Echo, haven’t you?” Ardberta looked over. “We’ve always been able to understand each other.”

“Yes, because we both have it.” Tamsyn poured cream and sour yogurt into a bowl, dashed in a spoonful of beet sugar, and began whisking it up. “The Echo’s only ever let me understand languages. Do you know how difficult it is to have a conversation when I can hear what everyone is saying, but my own contributions are limited to stoic nodding and the occasional glare?”

“Alright, point taken.” The ghost turned her back to the night. She looked much the same as when they had fought, back in Eorzea—same black and red leather armor, messy hair still pulled back in the same high tail, the same bloodstains on her great bearded axe. Only now Tamsyn was the Warrior of Darkness, and Ardberta was the dead girl walking. “Though I’ve never been much of a teacher, I’m afraid. Nyelbert was always the first to explain something the rest of us didn’t understand. Not that we’d get it then, mind. Lamitt was better at putting things into words people could use.”

Stiff peaks in the bowl. Tamsyn set it down and began portioning coffee and hot water. She grated cinnamon bark into the grounds before locking all the various pieces into the device. “Always the magic-users, isn’t it?” she tried in Vrandtic. “I suppose adventurers don’t change much across…pieces? Shards.”

“Shards.” Ardberta's eyes drifted away from the room around them. “It was just a way to get by, at first. A way to get away. From home, from the expectations. To see what lay over the next hill. To seek the horizon.”

Tamsyn pulled the lever, and thick, brown espresso bubbled out. Working quickly, she split it between two small cups, then scooped a generous dollop of whipped cream onto both. She placed them both on the table with a twirl. “Aha!”

Ardberta looked down at the coffee, then back up. Her expression was guarded, hard. “Is this supposed to be funny?”

Tamsyn blinked, then looked at what she’d done. Two identical portions. “…Shit.”

“Did it on instinct, did you?” Ardberta smirked, sadly. “Is it that woman? The one you’re always asking after.”

“Caswyn.” She sat down and sipped some espresso. The sour-sweet tang of the cream complimented the bitter brew suprisingly well. The cinnamon was a nice touch, too. She would’ve liked it.

“You must have been together for a long time.”

Had they? “It feels longer than its been, I think. We took our time admitting what was happening between us.” She looked over the top of her mug at Ardberta. “Did you ever have someone like that?”

The ghost shrugged. “Nothing too serious. I knew I’d never be able to be with another woman at home—it’s one reason why I left.”

“I can relate to that.”

“But adventuring doesn’t exactly lend itself to stable relationships.”

Tamsyn took another sip. “Your group seemed pretty stable.”

Ardberta looked away, uncomfortable. “Well, romance never really entered the picture. Renda-Rae had her own pursuits she enjoyed between work. And Lamitt…” She shifted. “Lamitt valued her Dwarven traditions. I’m sure her preferences didn’t go that way.”

“Mhm.” Tamsyn took a long, noisy sip of espresso.

“Don’t give me that.” Ardberta motioned at Caswyn’s cup. “Tell me about her, then. In Vrandtic.”

“Alright, alright.” Tamsyn couldn’t keep the smile from her lips. “There was this one fight we had together, with a primal named Susano…”

[iviarellereads]

Full TLT series to date thoughts on rereading Nona the Ninth, chapters 6-John 15:23

A probably semi-regular weekly bonus to my reread blog, since sometimes you realize things on reread that just make you need to yell in a full spoiler space.

"We lost something very important." Gideon's body, however that happened. (I neeeeeed the answersssss.) (Sorry screen reader users but the dramatic effect is required somehow here.)

“If I remember who I am, can’t I help to find them?” Oh, shatter my heart to dust, Tamsyn Muir. So many little, innocent lines stand out all the more on reread throughout this series.

Note to self, see if the red eyes or the hunger in Nona's night-one dream compare to anything later in the book. I could keyword search but I think it's more fun to let this second journey be its own adventure. Or if someone knows offhand or gets curious enough to look it up, you can reply to this post about it. I'm just waiting and relying on my memory of my first speed-read instead of peeking ahead.

John 15:23 seems as good a time as any to say I am a believer that the John River-dreams happen because of Harrow's soul being linked to Alecto's, and Nona needs to be asleep for Harrow to be able to travel it across to hear the story for us. I have seen a lot of theories and I respect them all. I love this damn fandom so much. But this is where I land right now, until something convinces me otherwise.

There is so much in 15:25 to talk about, though I hardly feel qualified to analyze it all through full-spoilers.

"So, my two kids, the guinea pigs, they were U— and T— on their certificates, you know, their old names. I thought about using those but it didn’t seem appropriate. They weren’t around to say yes or no. I was starting to really care about that. What they would’ve thought, what they would’ve wanted." I am just screaming, crying, rolling on the floor with emotion. I don't know what to believe. I think he DOES care, just… not the way he SHOULD care, maybe? It's so complicated. I just love John. I'll be so upset if he's a one-note villain in the finale the way so many people expect.

But also, the implication on the whole rest of the series so far, and on this whole book. That moment when Pyrrha says G- not G1deon. My obsession grows a tiny bit every day and will continue to do so until I get an answer as to what's going on here and why he did it.

[direquail]

“Come, swear your loyalty, my son—my brother—beloved—Lyctor—saint.”

- Harrow the Ninth, Ch. 52, p. 491

I really love this line because there are five entirely different dynamics implied here in each word, and multifaceted relationships are my jam.

So I want to break down what John might be saying here, because there's probably a fic in here somewhere about the different ways John and his Lyctors (Augustine in particular) have related to each other over the past 10,000 years, and to be honest I don't have the brain cells to write it at this point.

"my son"

Symbolic, used in the sense that it is through John that this entire branch of humanity comes into being.

I don't think it's coincidental this term comes first; first and foremost John is Augustine's God and Emperor, and ultimately he is withholding something from Augustine (complete with a "for your own good"-type justification). Augustine was John's Resurrected subject first, before he became John's disciple (not counting pre-Resurrection life, where John implies that he and Augustine knew each other).

Since this statement is post-reveal of John's real power, it's also an acknowledgement of the divide between them and a reminder not to fuck with him. When it comes down to it, John is God, and that trumps everything else. Like Augustine has known all along, John is not nearly as sentimental as he can seem when he's going on about "brothers" and "beloveds", etc.

Dynamic: Creator/created, God/human

"my brother"

Also symbolic, but importantly: John is consciously taking a step back from the power dynamic of the first term. He is their God, but he'd prefer to be their brother in "The Work" of the Resurrection and avenging humanity; that he wants to be among them rather than above them.

I get the vibe that he's referred to them in that capacity prior to the reveal of his real power, and it's smart for him to do, because he's probably aware that if he actually gave the impression of holding himself back from his Lyctors, or they became aware of his invulnerability, they'd eventually come to resent him and want to kill him. So he signals vulnerability and a kind of equality to defuse tensions before they arise. Like Abigail says, he never claimed omnipotence, and this is him playing that up, probably for multiple reasons.

Also, I love the use of the term "brothers" in the sense of "shieldmates"—they've bled for this shared cause, so they're joined by that. Solid, martial, gay. A+

Also, I think that John is lonely as God, because he really is Just Some Guy, even though he is essentially immortal and his power is completely beyond the Lyctors'. Maybe part of him wants that equality, even if he can't have it, and even if there's another part of him that won't allow them to ascend to his level because they could become a real threat at that point.

Dynamic: Partners in The Work, servants of the same cause, buddies in the trenches

"beloved"

I feel like Tamsyn is aware of the "lover"/"beloved" dichotomy in Greek texts lol (probably more familiar with it than I am, tbh), so I won't go too into detail about that. Other than to say that it does Imply Things to me about the kind of intimacy they have, the kind of adoration Augustine has for John, the kind of devotion John is promising to Augustine, the way Augustine offers himself to John, and it makes me want to write fic about them.

And, honestly—John calls him "beloved" but they've only banged twice?? That doesn't sound right.

It is also a spiritual metaphor, though—sometimes you'll run across allusions to God as a pursuing lover and the writer/speaker in whatever text as the pursued or beloved. Sexual ecstasy and spiritual ecstasy, etc.

(ngl I would be super interested to know if John would've said the same thing to Mercymorn, circumstances being different)

Dynamic: Lover/beloved

"Lyctor"

After thinking about this, I love how this is positioned between "beloved" and "saint" because the reader is probably at least familiar with both of those words, and if you have to guess at the meaning of the word, you can kind of come up with a definition from the surrounding words that is... completely wrong.

There is a Latin word, "lictor", which was, as far as I can tell, a political title, so that's probably what "Lyctor" alludes to in-universe. They seem to have been primarily bodyguards to political figures, including consuls, kings, emperors, and dictators, which is interesting given that Alecto is the only one referred to as John's "bodyguard" and he doesn't seem to have used any of the Lyctors as her replacement. The sources I've looked at also state that they carried fasces and had the power to carry out capital punishment.

Dynamic: Emperor/Lyctor; political figure/bodyguard

"saint"

"Lyctor" and "saint" get used almost interchangeably in the text, and the difference is never fully explained. But now that the meaning of "Lyctor" is a little clearer, this seems like "saint" is more clearly a religious/spiritual title rather than a political one. In the previous, John is their Emperor, and they are his Lyctors; in this context, John is their God, and they are his saints.

Dynamic: God/saint

[upside-down-uni]

Hey! Idk if this is too much t9 ask, but could you rec me 2, 19, 20, 45, 55, 63, 69, 71, 72, 75, 86, 104, 111, 116, 131? sorry if it’s a lot but thanks in advance if u can rec me some! :)

Hi, you're in luck! I have an essay to procrastinate on and this ask is just the right thing to distract me! Here you go, I hope you'll find something that you like:

2. a book with a blue cover

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. When i read it for the first time I was just on the brink of going to uni, still figuring out what I even wanted to study and this book just wrapped me in a warm blanket and said "it's going to be okay". I love the main characters Frances and Aled, their arcs and especially the really nice and quiet queer rep in this book.

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

The Knife Of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. When I start a book I generally have the feeling that I can't put it away until I have finished it. With The Knife Of Never Letting Go my problem was that I did want to read it but it didn't fit my mood, so I couldn't bring myself to read it but also beat myself up about not reading it until I put it back onto my shelf. So, I basically pushed myself into a reading slump over this book.

21. a book with a red cover

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers. I enjoyed this book so much but probably not for the reasons most people would think I enjoyed it? The wlw romance was definitely nice and I really liked them being dramatic but also kind of mundane? What really got me though was the strong theme of found family of young adults and queer friendships, that really yanked the yearning hours wide fucking open for me. (I also liked that in the end the book wasn't as much about romance as it was about finding yourself after surrendering yourself to academia for ages and working through your issues.)

45. a book featuring the friends to lovers trope

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. I adore this book. It's so long and there's so much incredible world building and history in it that it made reading an untter delight! Coming in it was a bit hard to acclimate to the slow paste but after a while I just settled in and enjoyed the ride. It's a breathtaking story in a breathtaking universe and afaik there's a second part coming!

55. a book with a satisfying ending

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi. Yolk doesn't really have an ending in the sense of a "happily ever after" but I really loved where the author chose to leave the characters and how she did it. The book is quite different from what I usually read, tonewise, but especially that ending made me leave the book with a warm feeling. (also the cover is yellow and really really gorgeous)

63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud

I would've reccd Red White and Royal Blue but judging by your url you've read that already...sooooo, it's Snapdragon by Kat Leyh! Super cute graphic novel, with a weird and adorable storyline and such lovable characters!

69. your favorite mythological retelling

I haven't read a mythological retelling in ages, so basic Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan will have to do.

71. your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

now that's just rude how am I supposed to choose?? I'll say it's Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire and Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and Loveless by Alice Oseman. I feel very strongly and very distinctly about all of them, if you can get your hands on them my only comment is READ. (and maybe make sure you're okay with gothic sci-fi horror for Gideon The Ninth)

72. a book with a gorgeous cover

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. It's her adult gothic horror debut after The Miseducation of Cameron Post and not only is the hardcover just stunning in black and red, it also got illustrations inside!! (And all teh women are queer and it's deliciously fucked up!)

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope

I think the closest I can come to that is The Lady's Guide To Piracy and Petticoats by Mackenzi Lee. The main character has to unlearn a bunch of stuff really fast if she wants to get along with the only other people that will help her. We have road trips in the 16th century, kidnapping and asshole husbands to be, piracy of course and friendship!

86. a book with an insane plot twist

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand. Sawkill Girls was my first touch with horror and I have to say I have no idea whether there was heavy foreshadowing. I think I remember thinking that there was something else to come but when the shit hit the fan I just sat there with big questionmarks over my head because I had read the book in a frenzy in one evening and truly did NOT anticipate it. As someone who did not read horror or thriller before this I have to say I was already insanely confused and disgusted by a bunch of stuff that went down. But then...uh. the thing happened and I was just lost. (In a good way though.)

104. a fluffy sweet read

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann. It's been a while ever since I read it but it's essentially a cute summer story about Alice who's a disaster bisexual when she sees people she finds cute. Which is a little inconvenient because the new guy at her job is really, really, really extremely cute and she ceases to function around him. There's best friend drama, eating pizza iirc and figuring shit out!

111. a book writing a book

I assume it's either "a book about writing a book" or I am literally supposed to rec a book that is writing a book...I'm going to rec a book that is about books! (because I can.) It's The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury and it follows a young woman called Juliette wo gets sucked into an old bookseller's world of life saving, life changing books. A really quiet, really cute book.

116. a book with multiple povs

the Reckless books by Cornelia Funke! Simply divine stroytelling, a vibrant world and amazing characters! I have to say that I only know the German original so I don't know what the English translation might be like.

131. recommend any book you like

um. so knife gang members and people who follow my main, you'll once again be subjected to me being a mess because of lesbian necromancers in space! I've mentioned it before, it lives in my head rent free, it is the one, the only Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! It's an insane sci-fi horror fantasy blend where Gideon has to play cavalier to Reverend Daughter Harrowhark I-love-being- an-absolute-pain-in-the-ass-to-Gideon Nonagesimus to help her become an uber-necromancer (like Harrow needs motivation to become even more of a nerd and shockingly good at necromancy) for the Necrolord Prime/Undying Emperor. There's BEAUTIFUL WRITING sprinkled with MEMES when you least expect it. There is incredible toxic codependency and repression. There's MURDER. There's fancy necromancy theorems and DUELS. There's enemies to begrudging allies to ??? Staple your socks to your feet or this book will blow them clean off!

[angieschiffahoi]

Before I start Harrow, I want to share my thoughts on Gideon.

 Spoilers ahead.

While I don’t believe it was the greatest book ever written, it was perfectly fitting for me.

The genre: It was a mix between sci-fi and fantasy, very simple in its worldbuilding, it didn’t shy from some exposition (I hate new fantasy books that don’t use exposition at all... you’re not that good at the spreading the information thingy, I don’t understand your overly complicated worldbuilding!) and used it in pretty much conventional ways. It didn’t invent every single tiny little thing (which I find very annoying in modern fantasy and sci-fi books - let your MC say fuck), but mixed things familiar with our world with future/innovative elements, almost seamlessly. Thank you, Tamsyn, for using insults we know (I understand why TV shows do it, it’s to keep a PG-13 rating and still use swear words, but I find it insufferable when books try to invent terms for everything... even pens or bread). 

I’ve seen people say it is heavily sci-fi and I disagree. It is not hard sci-fi in the slightest and the magical/necromantic elements are a lot more technical than any of the technology, which was basically non-existent (at times I was stunned whenever they mentioned anything that was “modern” or techy, since it felt like fantasy 80% of the time). The author built a magic system and tried to fit it into a sci-fi setting. It very much resembled Warhammer 40k at times (come on, the Undying Emperor?) and had they mentioned Chaos Gods every now and then, I would have believed this was a WH 40K novelette a-la Blackstone Fortress.

The plot: Gay necromancers in space, with a plot similar to And Then There Were None which at times felt a little bit like Catching Fire as well (Tamsyn, did you read my diary?). It was very simple, straightforward and the fact that we only had one narrating voice made it very easy to read and to follow along. The fact that it was a bit cinematic is probably the reason I managed to finish it (I am tired of 100 subplots and 200 characters in the same book). All of the plot twists felt earned, because looking back I can see where the author left those crumbs. I feel like the red herrings were a bit weak (except Ianthe at the end, which was a bit disappointing as the main villain so I was glad to see she was one), because I started to suspect Dulcinea right away (even though I never would have guessed why). Also, I was too focused on the characters to actually pay attention to the plot, so I didn’t guess much going forward, which made me feel pretty stupid, because some of that shit was very obvious. 

The characters: What I really loved was Gideon’s voice. The first few chapters were a bit flowery and there was a lot of purple prose to set the tone (which failed a bit, because I still imagined it more as a fantasy setting than a sci-fi one), but then it flawed perfectly. The jokes (narrated or spoke aloud) were great and it felt like they always fit. Sometimes the insults were a bit gratuitous but I like the trope of being infuriated with someone all of the time, you can’t help but think “oh fuck this bitch”. Also, the puns. Gideon, I love you. I would’ve liked them to be more mature (maybe 20 somethings), but it’s because I’m old and I want this type of narratives to have older MCs sometimes. 

Harrow really picked up in the second part of the book and I can’t wait to see how she’s changed in the second one. Loved Dulcinea from the start and I don’t care she was an evil god-like entity. She was a bit over the top in the battle (that thing about the arms and legs, why?!?), but I do love a dramatic bitch (I still lowkey like her & Gideon together). I was sorry for the Fourth & Fifth houses, but while I loved Magnus, I couldn’t stand the teenagers (but I did feel so, so sorry for Gideon). The Third house was obnoxious and I enjoyed Corona the most. I’m pretty sure Ianthe’s coming back, so we’ll see about that. Not gonna talk about the Eight - gave me WH 40K Inquisitor vibes, felt unneccessarily over the top. The Second was forgettable, I didn’t even understand the captain was a necromancer until she killed Teacher. And Sixth, oh, my darlings. If Camilla is dead I’m going to burn my kindle. Writing wise, concentrating on only one POV, kind of underdevelops secondary characters, so while Gideon’s voice was very strong, I feel like everyone else was a bit forgettable unless Gideon spent time on them. It was a book that could’ve easily been written in first person, if it didn’t have that ending. 

The relationship: I am going to be brief - I love rivalry that turns to love (any kind of love). So, I loved every single interaction between Harrow and Gideon (the pool scene broke me). Palamedes and Harrow had chemistry. I loved that Gideon just adopted everyone: I am your cavalier, now I am yours! Oh, screw it! I’m going to protect everyone! Gideon is such a himbo, even though she’s a shembo, but not a bimbo? I hated every single time the Third called their cavalier “Babs”. 

Things that were left open and Tamsyn better solve before the end of the series: “Gideon, you’re a ginger!” and basically everything fake!Dulcinea told Gideon about her past (”You don’t know what you are to me”). Also, why Gideon didn’t die when she was a child (and the obvious, where is she from?). Where are Corona and Camilla? What happened to Gideon’s body? And a few things I forgot about, because I wrote this “review” yesterday in my head and I didn’t write stuff down. 

Overall it was a very pleasant experience. And I may re-read it in the future to catch the foreshadowing and some hints. Now, onto Harrow the Ninth! Which is confusing? ‘Cause the Emperor called her Harrow the First?

Anyways. We love a tiny goth stirring shit with her “dead” girlfriend’s  two-hander. I am a bit scared, though, since what I really loved was Gideon’s narrating voice, but I’m guessing Harrow picked up some of her mannerism since she “ate” her? We’ll see. 

[sinterblackwell]

here was my list 📝:

best fiction:

- my vote: “the winners” by fredrik backman (because of course)

- my prediction: “notes on an execution” by danya kukafka

- actual winner: “tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow” by gabrielle zevin (just ordered this online a couple hours ago lol)

best mystery/thriller:

- my vote: for this one, i didn’t vote for anything because most of them i hadn’t read yet but if i had, i would’ve voted for “the violin conspiracy” by brendan slocumb

- my prediction: “killers of a certain age” by deanna raybourn

- actual winner: “the maid” by nita prose

best historical fiction:

- my prediction: it was a tie between “lessons in chemistry” by bonnie garmus or “violeta” by isabel allende

- actual winner: “carrie soto is back” by taylor jenkins reid (i know the author is big but i haven’t heard too much about this book so this was a little surprising)

best fantasy:

- my vote: i had only read one book in this category but didn’t feel passionate enough about it. i’m really bitter i haven’t read “thistlefoot” by gennarose nethercott yet because that book could’ve been a potential vote

- my prediction: “legends & lattes” by travis baldree (honestly sad it didn’t win; there was a lot of love for this cozy fantasy)

- actual winner: “house of sky and breath” by sarah j. mass

best romance:

- my vote: “you made a fool of death with your beauty” by akwaeke emezi (😔)

- my prediction: “delilah green doesn’t care” by ashley herring blake (im only being a little biased here because i just did not want colleen hoover to win, and by some miracle, she didn’t; even so, there was a lot of praise for this one so i expected it to at least be second or third place but well)

actual winner: “book lovers” by emily henry

best science fiction:

- my vote: “ocean’s echo” by everina maxwell (💔 this didn’t even make it to the finals)

- my prediction: “nona the ninth” by tamsyn muir (a lot of people were screaming about this before it even came out so i’m very shocked this didn’t win)

actual winner: “sea of tranquility” by emily st. john mandel

best horror:

- my vote: “the hacienda” by isabel cañas

- my prediction: “house of hunger” by alexis henderson

actual winner: “hidden pictures” by jason rekulak

best debut:

- my vote: “our wives under the sea” by julia armfield

- my prediction: “daughter of the moon goddess” by sue lynn tan (made it to second place so i was close!!)

actual winner: “lessons in chemistry” by bonnie garmus

best young adult fiction:

- my vote: “a show for two” by tashie bhuiyan (it got the least votes, what the fuck??)

- my prediction: it was a tie between “i must betray you” by ruta sepetys or “ophelia after all” by racquel marie

actual winner: “the final gambit” by jennifer lynn barnes

best young adult fantasy:

- my prediction: “the sunbearer trials” by aiden thomas

actual winner: “gallant” by v.e. schwab

best middle grade/children’s:

- my vote: again, if i actually got to reading them when i had the time, it would’ve probably been a tie between “amari and the great game” by b.b. alston or “small town pride” by phil stamper

- my prediction: “witchlings” by claribel a. ortega

actual winner: “i am quiet” by andie powers

none of the books i voted for, nor any of my predictions for who might win, actually won this year </3

[searchforthescars]

Asking the author: 5, 17, 18

dhfksjdhf hi you :3c

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

I’m both surprised and not at all that I managed to write Ricky (a character from my manuscript). They are the kind of character I would’ve loved to read about, and the fact that I was actually competent enough to bring them to life in a way that works for me and engages the reader is a shock to me tbh.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Hmm.... I think two things: First, learn to maintain that internal sense of “I’m writing the best I can with what I know” because you’ll get kicked in the teeth by your own internalized self-loathing if you don’t. And second, the stories you want to tell might feel boring to you, but that’s only because they live in your head all the time. For someone who’s never heard them before, it’s the opposite.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir got me hooked on writing in second person, and Richard Siken’s poetry impacted the way that I approach lots of fiction (mostly fanfic). I think, even if they didn’t affect my writing style, most books I’ve read and remember have impacted the way I write in some way, whether that’s style, content, character- or world-building, etc.

ask me writing questions :)

[morhath]

If you want to make a book/media rec list, here’s an idea: things that feel like fanfic but in a good way. (Can be adult or YA, but please no Cassandra Clare, Holly Black, Leigh Bardugo, or Nora Sakavic—I hate CC and the other 3 just weren’t to my taste).

AND/OR novella/novel-length fanfics where you can absorb details from context without knowing the canon! No pressure though lol, only if you want to.

Like I said over PM, I’ve actually been planning a reclist that’s kinda fic-inspired, so I definitely have ideas!  (Gotta be real, if you hadn’t said no Leigh Bardugo I would’ve also recced Ninth House.)  Here are some books that have fanfic vibes:

Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston.  I swear this book must have some BBC Merlin fanfiction somewhere in its DNA; I’m not saying it’s BBC Merlin fic with the serial numbers filed off, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the author’s enjoyed some Merthur before.  It’s modern-day, YA, romantic.  The first son of the US and one of the princes of England fall in love.

Foul is Fair by Hannah Capin is literally fanfic, of the Scottish Play.  The author manages to bring the plot to a modern-day high school setting while still making it really dark.  (People very much still die.)

I know I just mentioned this in the other rec post, but In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan.  It was initially released serially online, so it’s definitely got that in common with fanfiction!  It also takes that kinda Generic Fantasy Land you see in so many fantasy books and is like okay... let’s play with that.

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie, which I’m almost positive is Finn/Poe from Star Wars with the serial numbers filed off.  (Look at the cover and you’ll see what I mean.)  Honestly I felt neutrally about it, but hey, it’s there.  It’s, yanno, scifi with pilots and stuff.

The Angel of the Crows by Katherine Addison.  She straight up acknowledges in the author’s note that this started life as BBC Sherlock wingfic.  Don’t worry--it’s way better than the source material.  It’s sorta fantasy-ish, steampunk-ish and does interesting things with gender!  One of my favorite books I’ve read recently.

The Locked Tomb trilogy by Tamsyn Muir, first one is Gideon the Ninth, third one isn’t out yet.  I enjoy a lot of things about these books but there’s also some really awful ableism in the first book and some poorly-timed memes in the second book.  However!  The author is actually one of the authors of the popular Homestuck AU fic, Hemostuck.  It definitely has some fanfic vibes, and I keep joking that it’s actually Homestuck fanfiction (it isn’t, but Gideon’s shades are apparently meant to be Dave’s shades, so you can make a case for it being connected).  These are sorta scifi sorta fantasy, lots of necromancy stuff but it’s in space.

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk and Sorcerer to the Crown by Zen Cho are both Regency-ish fantasy novels that both feel a little like Regency AUs?  I liked Sorcerer to the Crown more of the two, but both are very good.  They have great casts and romantic dynamics.  The Midnight Bargain is about a world where women have to give up magic when they get married, which means none of them can bond with major spirits to strengthen their powers.  Sorcerer to the Crown is set in a world where the current Sorcerer to the Crown is a young Black man, which society isn’t happy about.  His life gets even more complicated when he accidentally acquires a young woman as a student.

The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake is a recent read that is a modern Twelfth Night AU.  I enjoyed it a lot although it had a beautiful opportunity to use one of my favorite tropes and then it DIDN’T.

The Chorus of Dragons series by Jenn Lyons, first one is The Ruin of Kings.  Parts of these books feel like a transcribed DnD campaign and not necessarily in a good way, but they are very fun.  Big old high fantasy tomes for if you have a lot of time on your hands.  They’re sort of just... standard fantasy in a lot of ways?  But very enjoyable and more diverse than usual.

I’ve been reading a lot of T. Kingfisher (Ursula Vernon’s pen name) recently and she focuses on character dynamics in a way that I think a lot of fanfiction authors do as well.  You could read just about any of her stuff, but I’d go for Paladin’s Grace to start with, which is about a paladin whose god has died.

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water by Zen Cho is a found family novella that plays with a lot of the genre conventions of wuxia, which I’m not super familiar with.  I definitely missed a lot of the context for this novella but what I did get was great.  A nun falls in with a group of bandits.

I couldn’t think of a ton of fic that can be read as a standalone, but here’s one:

Known Associates by thingswithwings.  This is... very long.  It is a Captain America fic that focuses on meticulously researched queer history, weaving that into the story of Steve Rogers.  There’s a Lot going on in this fic, so heed the tags.  I do think there are some bits that it skips over where it helps if you’re familiar with Marvel canon, but I don’t totally remember.

(I might be able to come up with a better list of fics like this later but it’s harder to think about whether or not they can be read as standalones when, yanno, I’m in the fandom in the first place.  I do hope that the Queen’s Thief fic I’m working on will fall into this category though...)

[shahzaibaliunit06]

W/C 28/03/22 OVERVIEW.

I didn’t progress as much as I would’ve liked this week. I started to research exhibitions and installations after talking with my lecturer, Tamsyn. Over the weekend, I want to start by planning out what is going to be in each slide for the pitch presentation ready for Wednesday.

[aishayousafunit04]

Evaluation

The mini brief we did was based on author and artist, Douglas Coupland. The essay I did was “New Moods” which explores the use of drugs, particularly antidepressants. When we received the essay the first thing I did was annotate it, trying to generate ideas on how I would improve the layout, with little notes in my sketchbook. In this project I wanted to gain more skills in programs like InDesign and Illustrator and Photoshop, because they are so relevant to work in graphic design — you can’t go into design without knowing the ins and outs of these.

My research was done mostly secondary, via suggested websites and Instagram pages, but I did go on the Digbeth art walk to gain some ideas, for both projects. However, my main influences came from actual medicines and pharmacies. A lot of pharmacies tend to display a capsule tablet at the front and advertisements for medicines are placed with the box, the foil package the tablet is in beside it and then a few in front of that. I also was influenced by the bit rot concept, and cover. It’s simplicity and minimalistic design, which I think was better conveyed. In future, I would’ve liked to have done more primary research since I did most with Google. My ideas were well presented through my work I think, I kind of just went for it, and then built upon that, shown by the multiple postit notes in my first printed copy of the book. I did a few experiments, not nearly as much as I should’ve, with acetate and coloured postits, and in my final version I use tracing paper for a page but I think because I just went for it and was scared of being too brave with this first project there is a lack of them.

My time management wasn’t great. Between both projects and the one I’m doing outside of college there was a lot going on and I came to college a few times, not really feeling great because I had this weight of how much I had to do. After talking with Tamsyn I worked out a routine, where I did what I needed for college on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday and dedicated Thursday and sometimes Saturday to working. I didn’t really stick to it because I have a large family who I see very often but it did help some because it gave me boundaries, when to do work and when to stop.

I think I have learnt a lot about my current situation especially with the two briefs. A designer always has a lot going on and not a set work regiment, and they have short amounts of work to work in. For my Provide work I had a lot of time, three weeks — where I did almost nothing in terms of real work, a lot of research though, because I just couldn’t but in the last few days before it was due I worked solid and was happy with my outcome, as was the provide boss because he wants me (and Harisaa and Matt) to develop ours further; I’m our year at least.

For both projects (I realise I spoke mostly about Bit rot but (and it’s not much of an excuse) I think I might write one thousand words if I speak about both) if I’d had more time I think I might have experimented more and documented the process better.

In the future I will like to do better with my time keeping, a long term goal. Short term I want to get better with photoshop, not as necessary as illustrator and in design, both which I’m fairly confident in, but photoshop which used to be my forte, is now really hard to wrap my head around.

[some1foundme]

Fic: Lost in the Memory Epilogue

Title: Lost in the Memory

Author: Some1FoundMe

Summary: Oliver Queen returns to his home in Star City after a five year tour overseas, much to the delight of his friends and family. There’s just one small problem. The injury that effectively ended his military career also erased a part of his memory.  As he struggles to put together the missing pieces of his past, his connection to his best friend’s little sister becomes something he can’t avoid. Who is Felicity Merlyn and why can’t he seem to stay away from her?  Olicity AU, no Arrow, no island.

A/N: One last time, I just want to send a huge thank you out to each and every one of you for taking the time to read this.  To everyone who left a comment or kudos on AO3 or Fanfiction, who took the time to like or reblog on Tumblr.  Thank you thank you.  You’ve all been so amazing!

Read on AO3 or ff.net.

Epilogue

Felicity woke with a start, the echoing sounds of metal on metal fading as the nightmare left her. Glancing at the nightstand, she stared at the baby monitor for a long moment, waiting for some sign that her little girl needed her.  But when it remained silent, she wondered what had woken her.  She turned and found Oliver’s side of the bed empty.  Sitting up, she swung her legs over the edge and reached for the t-shirt that her husband had shed the night before.

She crept out into the hall and peeked into Thea’s room.  She was sprawled out in bed, her small body somehow occupying every inch of her twin sized mattress, and she shook her head.  Thea was turning into her father in so many ways and Felicity couldn’t have been happier about it.  Closing her door gently, she headed for the nursery.  

The room was empty, the soft lilac walls and white furniture cast in shadow as moonlight broke through the blinds.  It had been a point of conflict in their lives for nearly three months, which room of their home would belong to their baby girl, and she sighed.  The moment they’d discovered the sex of their unborn child, Oliver had gone into overdrive.  He’d started clearing out Tommy’s room, moving the furniture and his belongings into the garage and attic, before prepping the walls for fresh paint.  And she’d had an emotional breakdown that evening when she’d come home from Verdant to find no trace of her brother left in their home.  The resulting fight had been loud and long, resulting in a lot of slammed doors, and had left her completely drained.  

In the end, she knew that Oliver was right.  There’d been no other choice, no place for their daughter to go, and even though he had tried repeatedly to convince her that Tommy would’ve been happy to give up his room for his niece, the words hadn’t lessened the ache in her heart. She’d been reluctant to let go of the last physical reminder of her brother until Thea, with all of her eleven year old wisdom, solved the problem for them.  They’d been sitting around the dinner table one evening, Felicity with silent tears pooled in her eyes, when Thea had offered to move into Tommy’s room so that the baby could have her room.  That way, as she’d explained, they wouldn’t have to change anything.  They wouldn’t have to paint or remove the pictures or even the furniture.  The baby would have Thea’s room and Thea would take Tommy’s room where she could feel a little closer to her dad.  They’d let her keep her bed, deciding that the king sized bed Tommy’d shoved in the room was a little too big for her, but everything else had gone back into the room.

Felicity smiled, pulling the door to the nursery closed behind her and reminding herself that she owed Thea ice-cream every night for the rest of her life if that’s what she wanted. She wasn’t sure how they’d gotten so lucky to have such an incredible kid in their lives but she and Oliver were both so thankful for her every moment of every day.

Moving quietly down the stairs, her eyes caught each new photo that had been hung on the wall. Photos of their daughter in her arms or Thea’s or Oliver’s had popped up all over the house.  She was spoiled, there was no doubt about it, but not only by her parents.  Thea had adapted to the role of big sister with ease and each time Felicity saw the two of them together, she couldn’t help but think that their family had come together perfectly.

It was then that she realized the date, the realization causing her steps to falter.

Exactly one year had passed since the car accident that had killed her father and, at the same time, returned her husband to her.  One year to the day since she’d discovered she was pregnant.  Looking back, the changes in the lives were staggering. Oliver was mostly himself again. There were still some things that he couldn’t remember, some small things, others more significant.  But she’d taken to simply reminding him and moving on.  His memory of the months after the bombing returned slowly, each new detail more frustrating than the last as he learned that, of all people, she had been the one that he’d forgotten.  And he’d spent months trying to make it up to her even after she’d insisted – resorting more than once to using her loud voice – that it wasn’t necessary.  He wasn’t at fault, no one was, and all she had ever wanted was for him to come back to her.  And he had.

She found them in the living room.

Bundled up in the middle of her father’s chest, Tamsyn Lucille Queen snored softly.  Oliver’s hand cradling her back was nearly as big as she was and the sight of them made Felicity smile.  She’d wondered for years what type of father he would be.  He was an excellent husband, loving and kind, supportive and loyal, romantic but strong.  She had hoped that he would be an even better father, if that was possible, and Oliver had gone above and beyond.  At just four months old, Tamsyn had her daddy wrapped around her teeny little finger.  She was by his side as much as humanly possible, Oliver not relinquishing his baby girl to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary, and certainly not without a fight. She hadn’t had to worry about how much help he’d be once they brought her home from the hospital.  She hadn’t once had to wake him to help with the baby because, most nights, he beat her to it.

Tamsyn stirred, whimpering softly, and Felicity reached for her, extricating her from Oliver’s arms and rocking her as she began to fuss.  She settled into the armchair opposite the couch and worked quickly to free her arm from the t-shirt she wore, pulling it halfway off before adjusting the baby in her arms and bringing her to her breast.  Now a pro at breastfeeding, Tamsyn latched on easily, her bright blue eyes slipping closed almost immediately.

“That’s what you wanted, huh?” she murmured, running her fingers along her daughter’s little arms, “Always so hungry.”

Oliver sat up then, blinking the sleep from his eyes as he watched them.  Felicity smiled at him.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“How long have you two been down here?”

He shrugged, moving from the couch to the arm of the chair she sat in.  He bent to press his lips to the top of her head.

“Not long, an hour or so. I couldn’t sleep and when I stopped in to check on her she was just lying there, wide awake and staring up at the ceiling.”

They stayed that way for a long moment, the only sound filling the room was that of Tamsyn suckling. Soon, though, the suckling was replaced with soft snores and Oliver took their daughter into his arms as Felicity fixed her shirt.  She followed him from the room, her small hands hanging onto his hips as they made their way up the stairs.  Together they placed Tamsyn back into her crib, Oliver winding up her mobile while Felicity leaned in to kiss her cheek, before making their way back into their bedroom.

Oliver climbed into his side of the bed before she slipped beneath the covers, her body immediately seeking the comfort of his.

“Felicity?”

“Hmm?”

Her eyes were so heavy she could hardly keep them open.

“How long until we can have another one?”

She snickered, shaking her head and pinching his side playfully.  Her lips brushed along his jaw when she answered.

“Can we maybe get this one out of diapers first?  I mean, she’s only four months old.”

He sighed dramatically, “I suppose that would be alright.

She laughed again, trailing her lips across his stubbled cheek and seeking out his mouth.  He kissed her fervently, both arms winding around her waist and drawing her closer.

“Seriously though, do you want another baby?” he questioned, his breath somewhat ragged as he nuzzled her ear, “Because I think that we should have as many kids as we can while we can.”

She rolled her eyes, “Well considering that I’m the one that has to carrier those babies around in my belly for nine months, I’m going to have to pump the brakes on that idea.  At least for a little while.  Let me rest before we start trying for the next one, okay? We’ve got plenty of time to have a couple more, Oliver.”

They lay tangled up in one another for a long time, neither of them willing to let sleep take hold.

“Oliver?”

“Hmm?”

She sighed happily, inhaling the scent of his skin and confessed quietly.

“I love you and… and the more I see you with her, with that sweet baby girl that we made together, the more that love grows.  I don’t know if I could possibly love you anymore that I do right now.”

Oliver’s fingers twisted in her hair as he angled her face to his and pressed a hard kiss to her lips.

“I love you, too, baby, always,” he whispered, “But I think I could maybe make you love me just a little more.”

He rolled, taking her with him, and pinned her to the mattress.  She gasped, giggling, until he kissed her again and stole the air from her lungs.

And he was right.  In that moment she did love him just a little more.

The End

[usuallypleasantprince]

Read Beat of Temptation (Psy-Changeling #3.5)(9) online free by Nalini Singh

Beat of Temptation (Psy-Changeling #3.5)(9) Author: Nalini Singh

In contrast, Tamsyn had always been tied to DarkRiver. That didn’t matter to her. She was a woman of home and hearth. It was the way of most healers. They liked to be near their people, their lands. Healers built permanent homes before most others, took in any who needed their help, and cherished those who were their own. The months in New York had almost torn out her heart, she’d been so homesick.

But Nate had roamed. He’d left the pack for years as a juvenile and come back a man, strong, loyal, and with wild horizons in his eyes. What did he see in hers? Home—calm, steady, enduring. But not very exciting. No wonder he didn’t want her!

Tamsyn had worked herself into quite a state, something that would’ve flabbergasted those who knew her, when the comm console chimed. It was the emergency code. She blinked and snapped to attention, the healer in her taking over. “Talk to me.”

Juanita’s face appeared onscreen. “Dorian broke his arm while we were sparring near the Circle. It’s pretty bad.”

“Don’t move him.” Turning off the screen, she got up, changed at the speed of light, grabbed her emergency supplies, and headed out.

The cold air cut across her cheeks as she ran. If Dorian hadn’t been so close by, she’d have taken a vehicle. But at this distance, her changeling speed was faster than the vehicle would have been on the rutted forest roads. The... Read online: Read Beat of Temptation (Psy-Changeling #3.5)(9) online free by Nalini Singh