#it’s whacky as the game goes on I get a better and better understanding of what their arc is really about

[ryderdire]

Thinking about assigned roles and characters who embrace them and characters who defy them

[prompt-master]

Kazfort -I'm lazy don't mind mi- anon is here

Yeah specific characters to use

Mm

Okay! Let's start

1- Nekomaru Nidai

2- Kazuichi Souda

3- Chiaki Nanami

4- Hajime Hinata

5- TanaKa tHe fOrbidden

1. Im sorry any Nidai stans, but I don't like him. I mostly had a neutral stance on him, but Mechamaru instantly made me dislike him because it broke the fundamentals of the game. His existence really ruined a lot of the enjoyment for me, I instantly felt bored and didn't care as much. I understsnd the whackiness was a hint that the world is virtual, but I didn't care at all when he died in ch 4 and ive always said thats not good in a dr trial.

2. I love Souda, he's an interesting character with a fun personality whos also fun to bully a lil wee bit a lot. My main gripe with Souda is that he is the only survivor to not fit the theme (all the survivors have someone to mourn besides him). Its the only thing i want to change in regards to him. I like the potential he has to grow as well considering his background, so i love to play around with post game concepts for him.

3. I'm going to admit this to you all. At the tender age of 14 when i first played sdr2 i fell instantly in love with Nanami. Yes thats right. I took the waifu bait. But in all seriousness: I really like how Nanami's character gets recontextualized by the reveal that shes an AI. Especially when yoh realize so many of her traits connect back to her being an AI down to her talent. Her role in chapters 5 and 6 completely played with my heart in the best way, and her execution theme slaps a little too hard. My only issue with Nanami is that i dislike the dr3 retcon of her being a videogame AI and instead being a human girl

4. Shit man whats not to love about Hinata. Fantastic protag, fantastic (altho mostly predictable) backstory, fantastic character. I felt completrly invested in his emotional struggle. And i love how they twisted things so that it was HIS game. Yes, he stands for hope just like Naegi did. But its his OWN version of hope. Hinata is a big part of what makes sdr2 so special. I love his realist outlook and attitude, even if he leans to pessemist at times. I just with danganronpa would draw him with 91 cm tits.

5. Tanaka is a good character. But he deserved better in ch4. I wanna preface this by saying i could be inaccurate cuz i black out in ch4 from boredon. But his motivation makes little sense to me. Hes trying to save everyone and trying to show them the value of life and not giving up. They frame it as this noble thing. His actions however contradict nobility. There was no need for two people to die for a sacrifice (which also goes again how the ch says life shouldnt be wasted. Cuz well. A life totallt was wasted) its also not noble since he kept the mystery alive which put the others at risk

I always thought it wouldve been more interesting with a couple of slightly different dirrections. For example, the murder is caused by a lack of judgement on Tanaka's part from starvation. He was trying to do the right thing, but wasn't thinking about how only one person needed to die to save everyone and prove life is important. It could also be explained as a lack of judgement simply by virtue of his character.

Something i really like is the idea that Tanaka believed if there was no good mystery, then the mastermind would not let them go so easily. So he sets up a mystery in hopes to not waste Nidai's life. It could explain why he didn't think of suicide as an option, and why he kept the secret. It also leaves room for some reallt good recontextulation of the trial where we could realize Tanaka was trying to help us catch him the entire time.

Another interesting direction is the idea that Tanaka did not fully understand tbe responsibilty of his actions until after the murder was comitted. He would realize after the fact that if he is executed, his hamsters are left alone without him. After all theyve been through. He suddenly realizes he cant bare that. And so he panics, and has a moral dillema the entire trial. Does he keep quiet and try to survive so he can continue to live for his pets at the expense of his friends lives? Or does he follow through with his plan and allow himself to die so that everyone can get a chance of life but at the expense of his own life and leaving his devas alone? In the end, he can say that he deseeves the execution regardless because of how he nearly let them die, but its Sonia who tells him hes a noble and good person.

Idk, i rareely see people complain about ch4. But to me its a boring victim and a boring killer. The only really interesting thing in the chapter was komaeda

[universallywriting]

Hey, I started reading Connie’s little universe when you posted about having written wedding Connverse, and then I got to your Spinel chapter and it fascinated me. I’d already read you say you’re not crazy about Spinel, but once again you channel Diogenes (I’m not that anon but they were spot on, holy shit) and make a really inspired take on her. Care to talk a bit about why you see her so childlike? She may be innately playful, silly, and immature, but most see her as an “adult” or “teen”. 1/2

Brace yourself for a long post! (1600 words)

I’ll start off with saying that I think Spinel is a really well written character. I really like her place in the movie, I love her design, and Sarah Stiles is phenomenal. She’s not a character who is relatable to me. Personally, the character I’ve always felt the most similar to is Steven, with Connie as a close second. Understandably, I was just as exhausted towards Spinel as Steven was throughout the movie, lol.

Why I Don’t See Spinel as a Teenager Forgive me, I’m not actively involved in Spinel discourse here, so I’m a bit blind towards people’s arguments as to why they think of Spinel as a teenager or an adult. I may be missing things or have gaps, but I would like to start with the fact that I in no way intend to argue that other interpretations of Spinel are invalid, or that I’m right.

I think my biggest argument hinges on one huge point, and it’s something I rarely see talked about outside of jokes. It’s Word of God and implied in the show that only Pearls can be bound to follow orders. This means that when Spinel was ordered to stay in the garden, she chooses to stay. I don’t say that to mitigate Pink’s cruelty, nor to call Spinel stupid or to blame her for what happened. I say it only because I think it’s a crucial part of her character. Without this piece, I feel like you ignore so much of what makes Spinel, well… Spinel.

Spinel is dependent on other people to a ridiculous degree. She defines herself by other people. Without them, she is nothing. She is unquestioningly obedient in the hopes of her affections being returned, no matter how absurd it becomes to follow those orders. At any point, Spinel could have stepped onto that teleport pad and tried to find somewhere in the universe to call home. This is not what she does. She waits. At a certain point, she must know that Pink is not coming back, but she waits. She hopes. This, to me, is not characteristic of teenagers. It’s characteristic of children.

Continuing here: She has control over her emotions. She has no barriers to them. Her default state is high energy, obsessed with joy and merriment and entertainment. When Spinel is reset, the trauma that has set in makes her emotions volatile, easily triggered and aggressive over the idea that she might not be the center of attention. While these are traits teenagers might have, I don’t think of them as teenager traits. I think of these as childish traits. When teenagers are this clingy, this cutesy, this bubbly, this emotionally unstable, I do not think “Ah, I typical teen”. I think “You need to grow up. You should be learning to be better than this.”

This does get a bit more complicated if you factor in trauma or other mental health issues, but despite people being very insistent about this idea, Spinel is in no way meant to reflect someone who is neuroatypical. You may read her as such, but to say that was authorial intent or to state that she objectively is a representation of BPD, or severe autism, just isn’t true. But, again, please feel free to headcanon her that way and have interesting discussions.

Pre-Abandonment Spinel is a Baby Pre-Abandonment Spinel appears to be a child in literally every way to me, and I really don’t see how you can see her as anything else. We see Spinel and Pink interacting in the garden during the song montage. Spinel plays hide and seek and juggles, she bounces around and clings to Pink. Pink’s behavior goes from amused to rapidly exhausted of her antics. The faces Pink makes, the way she interacts with Spinel, is very much an adult attempting to humor a child. And, in a way, this is one of the things Spinel intentionally represents. Spinel is a children’s show watching her audience move on. Quote from Rebecca: “[Spinel] is also about that pain of making cartoons, understanding that your audience might move on and leave you behind, and how ridiculous that can make you feel.”

I mean, as cruel as it is, people seem to miss exactly how Pink’s abandonment works here. She’s playing the quiet game with Spinel! “Let’s see who can be quiet the longest!” It’s an attempt from an adult or an older teenager to get a child to behave, incentivizing them through a game. This is absolutely something you do to a child, and Spinel responds in a childlike way by playing the game. I cannot see Spinel as anything other than a child pre-abandonment.

I also think it’s important to note that Spinel is given as a child’s toy, created to be a best friend in the same way you give a toddler a plastic steering wheel. This is an act of pure condescension of the other Diamonds towards Pink, a way to say “You do not want responsibility or respect or independence. You’re simply bored. You tricycle is just as good as car keys.” Spinel is intended to be a way to shut Pink up about her own colony. A child’s toy for a child who outgrows her nearly instantly.

Reset Spinel is a Baby Reset Spinel’s ideas of play are simple and childish. She wants to play tag and make silly faces and wrap Steven up in big hugs. Spinel talks to Steven the way Dora the Explorer talks to her audience. “Maybe, if we put the pieces together, we can solve this puzzle!” She’s silly, and wacky. She’s an outdated children’s cartoon, which makes her feel like a child.

I would argue this is the reason why Steven is so frustrated with Spinel and why Spinel is a villain for timeskip Steven specifically. Little baby feral gremlin S1 Steven would adore Spinel. What child wouldn’t like her? A best friend who plays silly games with whacky smiles who wants to put all her attention on you? Reset Spinel is a dream come true for a little kid.

Big Boy Neck Steven, however, becomes her babysitter throughout. Spinel is playing, joking, dancing around. I’ve seen some people argue that it wasn’t ever a game for Spinel, and I honestly don’t see it. Spinel before she was abandoned, and reset Spinel, are absolutely playing around nonstop. That’s what they’re made for. Just like Pearl exists to serve, and Ruby exists to guard, Spinel exists to play. Steven has to tend to her, has to be amused by her, lest he upset her. Steven is a teenager babysitting a child.

Eyeliner Spinel is a Child’s Tantrum So, here’s where I feel the biggest divergence will come from different people. I feel like people think of Spinel as an adult, or a teenager, because Spinel possesses power and speaks as an adult. She’s voiced by an adult who makes no effort to sound younger. But even here, even at what feels like her most adult moments, I truly cannot think of her as mature in the slightest.

When Spinel gets her memories back, she still expects Steven to be her emotional labor. She can’t control her emotions. She can’t control her actions. Steven must always be on guard to never upset her. This is, again, something I see as extremely childish - and that’s being charitable. If it’s not childish, this is abusive. This is toxic. A child can be excused from not being able to understand and lashing out at the people around them, because they are young and need to learn to behave better. As an adult, this is simply unacceptable.

It is not mature or adult to demand that others be perpetually on guard at risk of offending you. It is not normal for a teenager to try to physically harm others because they are feeling upset. It is not the behavior of anything but a child to demand that people become your friend, that they devote their time and energy to taking care of your emotional needs, that you become the center of their world.

Spinel may have power, and a cute accent, and the vocabulary and accent of a character out of Popeye, but there is not a single action she takes that I can read as anything other than childish, assuming that this is a character who is not dealing with a mental health disorder.

Spinel needs to be tended to. She needs to be coddled. She needs affirmation and help to become a better person. Help is not bending over backwards to her every desire. Help is not giving in to her tantrums. Help is not allowing her to cling to people like a useless sack of potatoes. Help is slowly guiding her away from her dependencies, to be more self-reliant and to care for herself so she does not demand all the emotional energy and attention of those around her.

I think she’s a child who needs to grow up. The chapter of CLU has Connie gently guiding Spinel’s attention away from the people she clings to, and she does so through the same childish games Spinel loves more than anything else in the world. That’s why I wrote it that way, and that’s how I see Spinel as she appears in the movie.

However, I love everyone’s different interpretations of her! So, you know, write and draw what you love! Multiple interpretations can and should exist!

[algernoninwonderland]

The only good thing about Scott Pilgrim (not the comics, which are brilliant, the film) is The Clash at Demonhead cover of “Black Sheep” because Brie Larson (please marry me) absolutely kills it. That and the entire soundtrack and Aubrey Plaza as Julie. Other than that... Yeah. I mean, nice try, but the comics did it all better, and didn’t age as poorly as the film did. It’s obvious that a lot of work went into making it, which is a shame, because that craft is used to serve a superficial story, with a superficial understanding of its source material.

Outside of the music aspect, there was nothing to add by adapting the comics into an easy-to-digest 2hrs movie that barely focuses on its characters, what Brian Lee O’Malley did best. Instead, the film decided to focus on the videogame-y aspect of the comics without the analysis of that presentation that goes with it in the comics, to appeal to a certain demographic that understood (and that’s partly because the film didn’t do a good job) that if you were a “nice” nerdy guy, you could get the girl, (never mind the whole “dating a high schooler” thing) also, kapow, and did you notice the Great Fairy Fountain music? Haha!

Except that’s superficial. It doesn’t tell us much about how shitty Scott Pilgrim is, as a person, to view things that way. It’s easy to just think, heh all these characters were kind of mean but look, that battle against the Katayanagi twins is just like in the video games! In the comics, these fights matter and are a vehicle for plot and character development, not just a pretext for whacky stylish action scenes, at least not only. The Katayanagi twins serve a narrative purpose other than just “they fight”, and their fighting at all is something the comics try to question

Style and presentation, which are central thematics in the comics, are left mostly unquestioned in the movie, which is a shame because Edgar Wright is far from stupid. Then again, how can you do that over two hours? So yeah, it’s not very good, especially in regards to the graphic novels.

The comics are great, and for the most part, they are still a good read today

The film is an awkward watch at best

[booksandwords]

My Lover, My Enemy by Tricia Owens

Series: Juxtapose City, #5 Read time: 3 Days Rating: 4/5

The quote: "I'm an addict, Starr. It's something I don't think I'll ever shake." Fingers grasped his jaw, tilting his face up. Black opened his eyes to find Starr's eyes blazing with anger. "You fucking saved my life, Darkness. Parker's, too. Don't be an idiot. And you're not an addict. An addict craves his drug. He can't live without it. Does that sound like you?" "Yes," Black said immediately, forcefully. "Except my addiction is you. I can't live without you." "Oh, Darkness." — Black & Calyx Starr

Warnings: The warnings remain from the previous book. Read this book with caution. There are no warnings as to the true content. Juxtapose City series contains multiple incidents of sexual assault, rape, murder, drug use, torture. Basically all the worst of humanity almost all of it in the first person.

Jesus Fu**ing Christ 'Monia, why? I know this is a series that makes you sit and ask wtf a lot (see previous warning) but Mneumonia girl I want to shove you and your TK bitches through a window. Okay so I needed that out of my system. Through Monia and the chaos she brings My Lover, My Enemy goes from 0 to 100 in about 10 pages. But that is the norm for Juxtapose City  I guess, it is effective. The book starts a couple of days after the end of The Ultimate Team, Black is missing and Starr is a mix of worried and pissed. The opening paragraph is perfect Starr "If ever there had been a time when Calyx was willing to fuck someone in exchange for information, this was it. Yet willingness wasn't an issue: proximity was."

The plot is focused on the Black, Mneumonia, Parker and Genesis mess and Black trying to figure out where he stands with Captian Dick. Something that really shines is exactly how bright Starr is, we know more of the details but Starr is starting to put it all together. "He's all about binding people to each other, sweetheart. He's all about binding them to you. And if he controls you, he controls all of them." He's starting to see part of Captain Dick's games and motivations. Though Black still has a much better shot at reading Genesis. Black doesn't quite believe him yet but he will, we much have faith and trust "our whacky fortune teller". This book does a great job of sharpening the perceptions of characters. We are given information in different contexts, allowing us to look at them from a new angle. Relationships change. Jake and Parker, Parker and Calyx, Calyx and Black, Calyx and Jake (though that is more a vocalisation of a known issue). Black goes back on Bliss too, which means flashbacks in the come down. One spoiler here there is another powerful run-in with Genesis how our motley family gets out of it is both important and unexpected.

I had been working on understanding sexual coding for Black for the last couple of books. Anna doesn't help much but she wasn't surprised at all that Black had taken a male lover. Bless that writing alone. I want to shout out this paragraph though... "Previous to joining JC2 Haney hadn't thought much about his sexuality. He'd assumed he was straight and had dated a few girls. But dating and sex hadn't been that important to him. The majority of his focus was on building his career in the JCPD. His attraction to Bee hadn't been instant. They'd become friends first. Training partners and housemates. Slowly, gradually, Haney realized that he loved the other man as more than a friend or teammate. It hadn't been a traumatic revelation. Deciding to act on the feelings he held for Bee had been surprisingly easy. It had been a most natural progression of Haney's life.". I do not hide my love for Hanny and Bee and their total adorableness but this is something I hadn't thought of. How did they get together, given that Black doesn't like teammates together? Look I love demisexuality it is an identity I have toyed with, very few authors write it but I project often and I'm sorry. Just for those who don't know "Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed." (Healthline). I can read Haney as a demi, it's how I read Black too. But Black is way more complicated.

My Lover, My Enemy is a brilliant continuation of the Juxtapose City series. Characters and relationships are developed and perhaps finessed in the word, plots point are drawn together and underlined and there is the right mix of humorous, possessive, dark and soft. If you have read the others in the series and can get through the first few chapters you will likely enjoy this.

Some spoiler discussion in my Goodreads review.

[pushkids17-blog]

Coloring Craft Fun For Elementary Class Age Teenagers And Tmnt Coloring Pages

One of the most satisfying things I can keep in mind from my childhood is my love to draw and color and I see that with my own kids now also. My little lady especially likes to color and naturally most things need to be pink. Coloring pages for women specifically will offer little women pictures they will enjoy to color so https://www.washingtonpost.com/newssearch/?query= ninja turtles they can enjoy this terrific creative activity. Obviously this will consist of lots of princesses and possibly dolls, ninja turtles coloring pages pups, teddy bears and kitties. Basically I believe it boils down to anything adorable.

Coloring pages not just boost concentration skills, eye-hand coordination, color coordination and numerous other essential skills, they also provide you some time to unwind with your child. Prepare ahead of time and make sure that you've got enough diversions for the kids so that the trip will be uneventful in terms of battling. Brother or sisters do not normally like sharing things so you'll require a minimum of two of whatever. Two sets of crayons, 2 sets of coloring books. And it's probably best to ensure that both sets are exactly the exact same so that they do not enter into an argument over the understanding that Billy's coloring book is much better than Casey's.

If a child is never ever taught to be able to recognize the distinction between dazzling white and eggshell (or rose and pink, fuchsia and red, and so on) then as adult they might never ever be able to inform the 2 apart. So going over and mentioning the subtle distinctions amongst the huge box of crayons is actually an important cognitive chance.

Psychologists informed the Huffington Post that by engaging several parts of the brain, coloring enables a kid to concentrate on the lines, shapes, movement and colors at hand. Coloring activity trains focus, relaxes the mind and is an excellent focusing activity. A very vital part of our brain called amygdala is connected with emotions, memory and worry reaction. While a child is taking pleasure in coloring pages, amygdala rests which has a relaxing effect gradually. At initial stage might be a whacky affair for some kids however ultimately they tend to expertise it. They understand the significance of filling real and natural colors at best places. So whether it is coloring pages of Spiderman or their preferred cartoon characters, it is a real enjoyable caring activity for kids.

Coloring sheets which prove useful by coloring the important things within the surrounding - to be linked and gain the understanding about the surrounding, coloring is a great methods to help a kid learn to identify the things around him or her. The coloring sheets which offer natural functions can likewise be discovered from the web.

In kids, you can accelerate their concentration process by giving them time-long activities to do, of which educational coloring pages is chief. When kids sit for long coloring pages to print, it assists the kid keep his on something and will definitely establish his general concentration level as time goes on.

Further factor to consider ought to be offered to the actual topic portrayed on the coloring page it self. While kids may enjoy coloring a picture of any old princess or animal, whenever possible adults need to select activity pages for their instructional value. Pages revealing originalities and concepts are always a great idea. Beyond exposing young learners to originalities and concepts, activity sheets featuring numbers and letters are always excellent for growing young minds.

There's never ever been a much better time to be a kid than today, and totally free, coloring sheets are one of the terrific advantages for kids that have actually come out of our technological age.

As currently mentioned, the most popular color pages provide animation heroes and animals. Youngsters enjoy cartoons and household family pets, so, each and every kid will like exciting coloring books which might vary in intricacy. A lot of colouring printables feature 2 to 3 colours in addition to figures, at the exact same time you can buy more complicated book types as well (10+ colours).

Using computer game in education turned out to be a sophisticated technique around the globe. Furthermore, dads and moms might utilize color by number books in the house to get prepared children for kindergarten. The crucial take advantage of this specific methodology is the fact that boys and women like it! You can even encourage your kid by using rewards and likewise rewards for choosing the ideal colours.

[zaggitz]

My Top Ten Video Games of 2018

Well, here were are again, my friends. After the non stop roller coaster thrillride of VIDEO GAMES 2017, can 2018 live up to the hype??? I’m gonna go ahead and say no right off the bat, but while every single week wasn’t filled with a new incredible genre defining experience like last year, we still had some genuine certified bangers in the mix, many of which I think will remain important to me as the years go by. It should be noted this is the first year since 2014 where a Trails game hasn’t hit the market, so for the first time ever since I started writing these lists, a Trails game will not reign victorious at the end. Scandalous! Impossible!! Shit year tbh, but we’ll get by.

Outside of games this year is maybe the best year of my entire life?? I got out of a years long slump, started an actual genuine career path, and then somehow managed to fenegle falling in love into the whole mix. These lists have always come from some greater sense of yearning to reach out and communicating how I feel about things I love to anyone who will listen, but right now all I can think of is about how happy and lucky I am for my life to have taken the turns it did this year. 2019 is gonna have to try real hard to break my stride.

If you’d like to read my previous rambly lists, here they are:

2015

2016

2017

Anyway without further ado, here’s ten games that aren’t Trails of Cold Steel 3(WHEN??):

10. Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales

This one is only at the bottom of the list because I didn’t have time to finish it. I loved getting to jump into the world of the witcher again. The world is dark and gritty and the choice are morally grey and the writing is impeccable and gwent is even more fun to play as a main mechanic than it was in the Witcher 3 as a minigame. I can’t wait to dive back into this one come the new year.

9. Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology

One of the most well written and executed time-travel-based JRPGs I’ve ever played. It’s a story about trying to fix mistakes, about different perspectives trying to understand each other instead of fighting over differences.

It’s got an overall theme of realizing how important you can be to the world around you despite seeming insignificant that really resonated with me, an amazing cast of characters and it also just happens?? To be really fun to play??

8. The House in Fata Morgana: A Requiem for Innocence

That I didn’t play the first game the year it came out is a damn crime, this series of gothic tragedies has such special, meaningful and important themes of redemption and sacrifice and finding the people who will survive the world with you no matter what. It tackles mental illness, lgbt topics with an immense amount of respect and tells some of the most heart wrenchingly real and gutting stories, but it all culminates in the most viscerally satisfying way.

This sequel delves into one of the most unspoken parts of the original while also offering promising and hopeful glimpses into the future. It’s absolutely a must play if you in anyway liked the original.

7. Wandersong

Now here’s one that came absolutely out of nowhere. This game just oozes joy out of every pore. You play as a dandy bard who can only interact with the world via music trying to save it from being destroyed. Heavy themes of pacifism and the internal struggle of doing your best when you know for a fact your best won’t be good enough cover this thing like sprinkles on the most delicious and colorful donut.

Another thing I love is how every single chapter of this game plays differently, one will be a pirate adventure where you steer a ship with pirate shanties, the other will be a Majora's Mask still town sim, it goes on like this, and it never once gets boring. This game will make you smile the biggest smile from start to finish.

6. God of War

Remember Kratos?? He’s back, in open world action-RPG form. I sort of grew up with the original GoW trilogy and am of the opinion that they aged about as well as I did(which is fuckin not gracefully, teenager me was a fuckin mess). God of War is out of its edgy teenager phase now, and just barely squeaking out of its holier than thou college student phase into a game that actually has a few things to say, fun characters, an amazing world, and a paternal relationship that is kind of actually a joy to watch unfold despite everyone making fun of the game for it.

This game is like twice, maybe three times as long as the original trilogy which hilariously kind of makes those games feel like a prologue to this one. I suppose the real ironic thing is they kind of are?? They were shallow angry games with nothing to say but their existence created a character that, under the right light, under THIS light, could actually be extremely compelling and fun to watch grow alongside his boy. This series went from one I was glad to see gone to one I can’t wait to get more of.

5. Yakuza 6: The Song of Life/Yakuza Kiwami 2

It’s absolutely insane that Yakuza is popular now. I got into this series 10 years ago and at the time every single new yakuza release was a blessing and a curse; blessed because holy shit they actually put out a new Yakuza game and cursed because oh god it sold like shit and they probably won’t localize the next one why did they localize the zombie spin-off it almost killed the series nooooo don’t localize that give us the samurai games instead.

So anyway, this year I finally finished my journey playing through all 7 mainline Yakuza games. The journey of Kiryu Kazuma has come to an end and I have seen every step he’s taken. Yakuza 6 itself had kind of a really rough new engine that Kiwami 2 ended up refining, and from a gameplay perspective these games are basically the same, for the most part(Kiwami 2 is just better). Neither of these games come close to touching the masterful highs of Yakuza 0 but from a story perspective I think the respect and love this series has for its protagonist is unmatched, and while I was sad to see him go, I will never forget that big good crime boy and his whacky antics.

Ganbare, Kiryu-san...sayonara!!!!

4. The Messenger

This game fucking rules, I really don’t know how to do it justice, I played it on a whim and fell in love with it for the time it took me to beat it in a way that I haven’t done with a game in a long time. The gameplay is fluid and fun, the writing is charming and legit hilarious at times and the soundtrack, oh baby the soundtrack, if this wasn’t a year where Celeste came out this game would win every single award for OST of the year, I would fight anyone who disagreed.

The main gimmick of this game once you reach the halfway point is being able to shift between the 8 bit past and the 16 bit future, and every time you do the music will warp to fit those aesthetics and the game does this so freaking seamlessly, it’s amazing. The final level in particular meshed the music so well with the narrative that I was like fist pumping the whole way through the final sequence of the game.

It rules extremely hard, play it. Yes, you, you reading this right now, play this game so these people will make more for me. Please?

3. La-Mulana 2: The 0th Body, The 9th Spirit

Chalk this one up for game of 2018 I most can’t wait to replay and do a bunch of quick runs of. The original La Mulana is one of my favorite games of all time and this sequel delivers more of all the stuff I love while streamlining a lot of the more obscure and obtuse solutions. The music, the bosses, the world, all of the best things about the first game were all just as on point in this one.

The game evokes a sense of mystery you can only really achieve in a sequel to a game like the original La Mulana by constantly making you question the lore you already knew from the original. This all culminates in a sidequest that for a game as inscrutable as opaque as LM2, I still ended up getting really really emotionally invested in.

I don’t think there will ever be a La Mulana 3, and if that’s the case I’ll be able to leave this series happy, these two games complete each other in such a huge way, and will remain some of my favorites for years to come.

2. Celeste

I swear to god, this game was my Game of the Year for 9 whole months. I have never in my life played a game with this much precision perfect game design. This is maybe the tightest most consistent feeling platformer of all time. It’s like basically perfect on a gameplay level. That it meshes it’s gameplay with it’s themes so well is what truly makes it stand out and transforms it into not only a viscerally satisfying, tough but fair game, but an emotionally resonant masterpiece that will stick with me for years to come.

Celeste is a game about climbing a mountain. Celeste is a game about overcoming depression and anxiety and learning to cope and better yourself. These things are not interchangeable, the challenges you face as a player in this game all tie in perfectly to the main character, Madeline’s struggle to just fight through her self doubt and self loathing. It’s an extremely real tale, despite how fantastical the visuals are. It’s a game about fighting and screaming and clawing at that fucking Mountain to give you a way to have your heart again, and it’s absolutely wonderful.

The game is difficult, but every personal triumph accompanies one in game, and it lets you truly feel the feelings the game is trying to evoke alongside it. This is the kind of game that only comes once or twice a decade. I’d be extremely surprised to see anything hit this level any time soon.

1. Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age

This is the gold standard for all JRPGs now as far as I'm concerned. There are series that go deeper, that go harder, that go all the way in with their music but no game out there exists that is so confidently just the classic all encompassing idea of a JRPG like this one. This game is pure comfort food, it knows exactly what it is and what it is is a fun heartwarming and charming classic JRPG “chosen one gets the cool sword and fights the dark lord” tale and damn it if it hasn’t been a while since we had just a good one of those.

Haha, just kidding.

A third of the way through, this game takes a dramatic shift and flips everything on its head in a way that hasn’t been really seen or executed this well since FF6. Suddenly the comfortable is taken away, the world is scary, bleak, and the themes you missed, that were simmering in the background since the start of the game start to boil over to the surface. The world is darker but the people in it are warmer, they hold themselves together until the day comes, and the game will find ways to make you cry you would never expect from a series this traditional. These themes all culminate in a super satisfying finale that, while not entirely happy, at least leaves the world in a better place than it was before, with it’s people that much closer.

Now what if I just didn’t write any of that and told you why I really love the game.

Credits roll, and the post game, that is to say, the final third of the game, begins. What if the shift never came, how would the world be different? How would these characters acrs resolved? Who would live? Who would die instead? What does this happening mean to the world? What does this new future hold?

In one simple moment, you answer all of those questions, and Dragon Quest XI becomes a prequel to Dragon Quest III (which was a prequel to DQ1 but that’s less important).

All of a sudden this entire series has lore, everything is connected in a way it had never been for 30 years, and it fits so seamlessly and perfectly that it could only have happened in a series like Dragon Quest, which has had the same writer across all 11 games. As a fan who had played all the available english games this was such an insane rewarding moment. I struggle to really compare it to anything else outside of maybe like…

Oh shit.

OH SHIT.

Outside of goddamn Trails.

Ya’ll know what that means right?

That’s right, Trails wins game of the year once again. STILL THE KING BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[zahroreadsthings]

Here’s some good underrated books, friends unfortunately for you all I suck at summarising

-Curse of the Bond Riders trilogy (Karen Brooks) One HELL of a trilogy. I suspect my local library only had this because the author’s Aussie. Fantasy Renaissance Italy. Local candlemaker finds and adopts a baby he takes as an apprentice. Apprentice turns out to be someone who can use objects to manipulate emotions/see attached memories forgot what they’re called lol, the first after a genocide a few centuries before. Good ol’ international power plays, grey morality, a huge cast and a hell of a load of plot threads. The first book’s mostly set up and ends on a cliffhanger because of course it does. Content warning wise, it’s pretty much a toned down Game of Thrones so uuuh proceed with caution if you so wish.

-Love, Honour and O’Brien (Jennifer Rowe) Ya I was terrified to read a Rowe book because I’ve been reading her Rodda books for... fifteen years? And honestly I prefer her Rodda books but this... a chick lit missing person/murder mystery... Holly Love’s fiance leaves without a trace, taking all her money, the day before their wedding. She’s not having it and hires a PI to track him down. Then has to track down the PI, and accidentally ends up working as one to solve a mystery. Amazing. Whacky cast that’s just as out there as you’d expect from a chick lit mystery. And the friends she makes... yall... Abigail Honour... when you read, you will understand. (I am the sole person on this site who ships Holly Love and Abigail Honour or indeed has read this book but that does not stop me.)

-The Midnighters trilogy (Scott Westerfeld) There’s a 25th hour only people born on the stroke of midnight can live in. Five teens with varying degrees of clashing personalities/friendship have to work together to find out why midnight things have gotten weirder than usual. Shenanigans and girls I’d die for. What more could you ask for?

-Whisper (Chrissie Keighery) Demi gets sick, sickness gets worse and she becomes deaf as a result. This is mostly about her adjusting to life as a deaf person, and includes a hell of a lot of deaf rep (obvs as the character attends a school for the deaf) - we had characters with and without hearing aids, signing (to various degrees of fluency), lip reading, even one family of deaf people whose house was outfitted to suit them. Really loved that most of the dialogue was in sign language, so you’d have gaps in understanding that gradually closed up as Demi became more fluent. Set in Melbourne. (Personally made me realise how dumb it was for 000 to not have a texting service?)

-The Canal Boat Cafe (Cressida McLaughlin) Good fluff. A woman leaves her job to take over her mother’s business of cafe-on-a-boat after her passing. Lov the boats and cafe. Lov the boating community. Lov the characters and their relationships. Cute love interest and cuter dogs. I’m a ho for fictional cafes and bakeries fight me.

-How to Save a Life (Sara Zarr) Alternating perspectives between Jill, a 17 yo whose father’s recently died and whose mother has decided to informally adopt a kid, and Mandy, another teen who’s pregnant with the kid Jill’s mum’s adopting and who’s determined her kid will have a better life than her. Jill’s not taking it too well and Mandy has no clue what she’d do after she gives birth and has to leave Jill’s household. Legit the most heartwarming conclusion I’ve ever read and character development that made me want to cry. Is it predictable? Yes. Did I love it? Yes.

-Private Peaceful (Michael Morpurgo) By far the best book I had to read in high school. Also the one that made me, a large portion of the class, and my sweetheart teacher, cry. World War I, three brothers, two who go to war (one of whom’s too young to enlist, but he goes anyway). Thomas, the youngest brother, is keeping watch and looking back on his childhood, the years leading up to the war and his years in the war, and his relationship with his brother. Just read it yo.

[aruneshgoyal]

The Contextual Major Plot Featuring India-Pakistan World Cup Tie as Also Wedding Anniversary of the Main Protagonists

Mahesh and Saraswati are well settled now in India (old Delhi) with kids, Shaloo - thirteen years of age, and Brij - nine years old. Mahesh is a devout Hindu, especially dedicated towards Goddess Durga and his wife, Saraswati is a pious Muslim lady before marriage by the name – Shakila.  

Now, husband and wife for the last fifteen years ever since 15th February, 2000, Mahesh and Saraswati are all set to celebrate their fifteenth wedding anniversary along with another grand event, Indo-Pak World Cup cricket clash planned for the day, viz. the fifteenth of February, 2015.  

Cricket has always been their cup of dilemma and duel especially due to Shakila’s brother, Hussaini Bhai, being a member of the Pakistan cricket team for the last ten years as an all-rounder (medium pace bowler and a power hitter just akin to our Kapil Dev).  

This World Cup, in particular, is especially important for him as he is going to announce his retirement after the Indo-Pak match; moreover, Pakistan, sensing victory, out of the rather low morale of the Indian team due to repeated defeats on its tour of Australia, just on the eve of the mega event, are going all out this time to break the jinx of having never beaten India in a World Cup fixture as yet.  

 After marriage, being a dedicated wife as she was, Saraswati alias Shakila was always in a state of turmoil – whether to support her husband or her brother! The children too were at loggerheads on this issue. Hussaini Bhai also adopted certain Hindu customs after the marriage of his sister to Mahesh, which included the celebration of the much wonted and acclaimed ‘Raksha-Bandhan’ festival with the tying of the sacred thread on his wrist by his sister, elder to him by a good seven years.  

 Whenever Saraswati would handcuff him with a sparkling ‘Rakhi,’ he would seek her blessings you guess what, your guess is as good as mine – asking for his team’s victory over India in the upcoming matches. February 15 in 2015 was no different. He had already sought his sister’s affectionate blessings the previous year in the wake of his upcoming retirement from international cricket. Before leaving for Australia-New Zealand, the venue of this year’s edition of the World Cup, Hussaini Bhai had touched his sister’s feet yet again, promising to call her before the all-important Indo-Pak contest.  

True to his word, before leaving for the cricket arena on the actual day of the match, Hussaini Bhai had called his sister, Shakila alias Saraswati, and said – “dear sister Shakila! Please bless me so that not only do I perform well with both bat and ball but also our team does well and goes on to defeat India!” Shakila, in reply, said simply – “dear brother Hussaini! I am a wife more now than a sister. Still, I pray to God that you perform well in your last encounter before retirement. As for defeating India, I cannot say anything but only that it be an absorbing contest between the two teams for the spectators to feast upon and the better team which does better today win!”  

 Mahesh and the two children – Shaloo and Brij, were standing just nearby, overhearing the entire conversation between the brother and sister team of Shakila and Hussaini. Mahesh said jokingly – “don’t you dare to spoil your dear brother’s mood today! Just see the extent to which he has gone, how much he has been preparing, and looking forward to this – his last and final outing in cricket!” Brij added – “it’s going to be my Mamu Jaan’s day today and Pakistan will beat India hoarse, hollow, and outright!” Meanwhile, Shaloo, listening to all this talk, just couldn’t bear the thought of India losing this particular ‘prestigious’ match, and joining in the conversation, said mockingly – “even if Mamu Jaan takes the blessings of the entire household in India, nay Pakistan as well, God will see to it that my India doesn’t get defeated today!”  

“Okay, okay! Everybody, listen now! Enough discussion has already taken place on the issue. Let’s not waste any more time over the matter and straightaway get into the act, by having our breakfast quickly and then settling down lest we miss any of the live coverage by Star Sports. Remember, we have specially subscribed to the channel for this occasion and only about half an hour is left before the live action begins, beamed right from Australia to so many countries around the globe including our India” – intervened Saraswati alias Shakila, suddenly taking control of the situation.  

Everybody fell silent now and there was no further talk about the upcoming cricket action during breakfast time. Finally, as the clock struck exactly 09:00 hrs. IST, everyone settled down, taking their own vantage positions in front of the HD color ONIDA television set, once so much famed for its “owners’ pride, neighbor’s envy” ad.  

 Being a Sunday, Mahesh was off from his office work and the children too were free from their respective schools. Mahesh worked for a leading MNC in Gurgaon, travelling to and fro daily in his Honda car. While Shaloo was pursuing her studies in a central convent school and had come home specially to join her family for the match, Brij was studying in the nearby Jesus & Mary school. The school van would come daily to pick him up from home in the morning as also drop him back after school time in the afternoon.  

The match had a significant sidelight too – a touch of the Indian cinema. Mr. Amitabh Bacchhan, the veteran actor well known for his versatility, and the famed anchor of the popular soap opera and Sony’s TV show – “KBC (‘Kaun Banega Crorepati’),” was making his grand debut in the commentary box, for a change this time, during the course of the match. It may be pointed out in this context that Amitabh Ji’s voice is his greatest asset and everybody, whether from India or abroad, was keenly looking forward to listen to this golden voice on the occasion. Star Sports, who had roped Amit Ji in for the event, was particularly keen on cashing upon his worldwide popularity and up the ante as far as TV ratings were concerned.  

Before the match, there had been frequent calls from Shakila’s family and other near and dear ones from Pakistan all of whom were rooting for their home team and wanted Shakila alias Saraswati to fall in their footsteps and follow suit. Only Saraswati knew how tormenting all those moments had been. On one hand, she was supposed to and had to support India in the wake of her foremost relation as Mahesh’s wife and on the other, she couldn’t afford to displease her native relations too, not to speak of her role as a sister to Hussaini Bhai.  

 But, there was one very good point and factor working in her favor.

Mahesh knew his wife well, trusted her, and supported her through and through. Furthermore, he was not a jingoist or a cricket fanatic and was wise enough to understand not only the intricacies of the game but also the significant fact, missed by many but not him, that after all, it was only a game in which one of the two competing sides had to win and the other to lose.  

Sometimes, he just brooded over and told himself that people were, by and large, foolish enough to put at stake so much for their chosen team, even going to the extent of gambling and betting heavily on the outcome. All this, he so wisely surmised, added to the ever increasing pressure on the players from both the sides and everybody else genuinely concerned about the game, which in modern times, had already acquired and taken the form of an explosive volcano, ready to erupt anywhere anytime.  

He stood by his dear wife, Saraswati, often consoling and calming her down with soothing words, telling her to take all the discomfiture in her stride and that things would take their own course and everything would eventually work out well, God willing, or ‘Inshallah,’ as they say in Urdu.

Mahesh also had the good sense to realize that the game and so to say, everything in the modern world, from education down to health facilities, had become too commercialized, especially, of late, for comfort. The common man was hard put to even afford the “grand luxury” of going to a cricket stadium to watch and catch the action right in front of his eyes, not only due to the heavily priced match tickets but also taking into account the fact that as no outside food was allowed these days at the stadia, he would have to foot the bill for the highly over-priced eatables and drinks being offered and available at the match site and that too of much inferior quality in comparison to their rates.  

Anyway, as he sometimes would take up and broach these topics with his wife, she would tell him to be ‘practical’ and not think too much but enjoy and, rather, relish the fun of it all, as if “any fun could be greater than humanity,” thought Mahesh although he used to keep and remain silent, accepting Saraswati’s views, but only outwardly. His inner senses were just neither willing nor ready to accept this hard reality and these harsh facts of life and he always wished he could do something about it. But, “what could he do,” all alone. He needed outside support and backing to buck him up in his mission and in this instance, his own wife was telling him in plain words to be ‘smart’ and ‘practical’ and let things go their own whacky way, whether “right or wrong,” how it mattered!  

His conscience would prick him no end and he often thought and wished he could write a book and express his views and opinions openly without any fear or regret whatsoever. As of now, he had a family, may be small, but it was after all a family with a beautiful young wife and two decent kids to be taken care of and he just couldn’t afford to put their lives at stake, for the time being, at least. “All right, let me be rid of my family responsibilities and my office as well after retirement. Then, possibly, I can take a chance and would be able to write, fulfilling my cherished wish for so long!” he told himself consolingly and softly.  

Back to our match, the little Indo-Pak cricket encounter. Pakistan, winning the toss, had elected to bat first on what appeared to be a paradise of a pitch for batsmen, laden with runs. And, keeping in view Hussaini Bhai’s impending retirement immediately after this significant contest, he was asked to open the innings along with Mohammed Shehzaad, a young, elegant to watch, and gifted opener. May be, the move to send Hussaini Bhai upfront was meant to take India by surprise and upset their rhythm, especially during the first ten power-play overs when only three fielders are allowed outside the inner circle. Be that as it may, Hussaini Bhai was out first ball, yorked by Umesh Yadav, the fastest bowler of the lot on the Indian side, much to the disdain of Brij but amusement for Shaloo. Shakila too was a bit upset about this particular dismissal, knowing in her heart that her brother would be even more upset about it, especially in view of his last outing in cricket.  

The whole of Pakistan was stunned into silence and rubbed its eyes in disbelief. Meanwhile, Mahesh, calm and composed, as always, came forward to soothe Saraswati alias Shakila, telling her that Hussaini Bhai still had a chance to bowl well in the Indian innings, and that all was not lost as yet. Misbah-ul-Haq, the skipper of the Pakistan team, walked in next and boy, what an innings he played, simply breathtaking and out of this world! Along with Mohammed Shehzaad, the diminutive young opening batsman, he put up a bewildering partnership of one hundred eighty runs, in which his own personal contribution was a marvelous one hundred fifty runs, full of strokes all around the ground, comprising twelve fours and a towering eleven sixes, to boot.  

Although he got out soon after reaching this milestone, trying to hammer another six and caught brilliantly near the boundary by Suresh Raina, who took a low tumbling catch running a good twenty yards to his left, followed almost immediately by Shehzaad, who played a rather needless rash shot in trying to up the ante even more, Pakistan reached a respectable and healthy looking score of two hundred seventy runs eventually, losing five wickets in their allotted fifty overs.  

For India, Umesh Yadav took three wickets with Mohammed Shami and Ravichandran Ashwin being the other two successful bowlers, bagging one wicket a piece. Suresh Raina, a part time bowler used by India, strangely turned out to be their most economical one, conceding just thirty runs off his ten overs, giving him an economy rate of three per over, which was simply stunning under any circumstances.  

It was lunch time now and the whole family, Mahesh, Saraswati and the two kids – Brij and Shaloo, gathered around the dining table to enjoy the package of Daal Makhani, Rajma, cauliflower, Pulaav, Raita and Tandoori Naans, home delivered to them by the nearby “Wah Ji Wah” restaurant, especially for the occasion. Mahesh had also ordered a special candle-light dinner at the restaurant later in the day to celebrate his fifteenth wedding anniversary with Saraswati. Brij and Shaloo too were to accompany them and join in the celebration, especially as a special chocolate vegetarian cake had been ordered the previous day by Mahesh for today’s special evening. During the course of their lunch, Brij was a bit sulky while Shaloo was her usual chirpy self. Mahesh and Saraswati, on their part, tried their best to keep Brij’s spirits alive and not bring cricket into the picture or mix it up with their much needed meal, especially after three and a half hours of rigorous and continuous cricket watching on their TV monitor/screen.  

After a lunch break of exactly thirty minutes, the match began again at 13:00 hrs. IST. At this stage, India were the hot favorites and expected to win, keeping its record over Pakistan straight in World Cup encounters. This was keeping in view the fact that the pitch was still batsmen friendly and benign towards them. Moreover, India had a strong batting line up with stalwarts like Rohit Sharma, Shikhar Dhawan, Virat Kohli, Suresh Raina, Anjika Rahane, and the captain cool, Mahender Singh Dhoni himself, to boot, in its ranks.  

As also, the fact that it had been able to restrict Pakistan to a target well below three hundred was an additional advantage working in its favor. And, the men in blue didn’t disappoint their fans, beginning well with Rohit and Shikhar putting up a decent one hundred partnership upfront off just eleven overs. At this point, Hussaini Bhai was introduced into the attack by Pakistan skipper, Misbah. And, off his fourth ball, he had Shikhar Dhawan caught behind, off a thin edge, with a late out swinger. In his next over, he sent back Rohit Sharma too, catching him plumb in front of the wicket with a peach of a delivery, that came in just a bit, for an easy LBW decision by England’s Ian Gould, one of the two umpires doing duty in the match along with S.Venky, the one from Sri Lanka. He virtually sent the crowd, the Pakistan fans, in particular, into a tizzy, by claiming the prize wickets of Virat Kohli and Suresh Raina off his next two successive deliveries, achieving the rare feat of a hat trick in a World Cup final.  

There had been no addition to the Indian score of exactly one hundred and its batting backbone had been literally broken and virtually torn to pieces, with four wickets gone already. Rahane and Dhoni tried to rev up the innings a bit, adding a crucial and vital eighty runs, before Rahane too was snapped up by Hussaini in his last and final over, not only for the match but in his cricket career as well, caught at short leg, while fending at a well directed rising bouncer on his chest. Even though Hussaini had got out for a duck while batting, he had bowling figures of 10-3-45-5 for the match, a five wicket haul anybody would be proud of and he so very rightly got a standing ovation from the supporting crowd as he finished his quota. Whatever the result of the match, he was relieved now that he had after all done justice to his last game of cricket. In fact, he had made his retirement a memorable occasion, an occasion he could remember with pride and recite to his probable future grandchildren.  

It was anybody’s game now with exactly ninety one runs to get off the final ten overs for India while Pakistan was looking to finish off things quickly and wrap up the remaining five Indian wickets as well. But, its main concern was that its star performer of the day, Hussaini Bhai, at least with the ball, accounting for all the five wickets that had fallen so far, had already bowled out his full quota of ten overs at a stretch. India, on the other hand, was relying on Dhoni single-handedly now to apply the finishing touches and get the required runs at an asking rate of almost nine runs per over, which he was perfectly capable of doing. But, knowing that it was a crunch match, a big pressure game, nobody on either side, was yet ready to take any chances and predict the outcome. But, one thing was for sure. Whichever side doesn’t wilt under pressure and choke down, would be the winner.

Moreover, it was no longer a game to watch for the faint hearted ones. For Pakistan, Junaid Khan and Yusuf Parvez, the two of their fastest bowlers, had to bowl the final ten overs in tandem now while Ravindra Jadeja, a promising young all-rounder (left arm leg spin bowler who could bat as well) was giving Dhoni company at the other end. Both Jadeja and Dhoni were fast movers between wickets and played for the same franchise – Chennai Super Kings, in the IPL (Indian Premier League), a 20–20 or T-20 cricket tournament in which only twenty overs a side are bowled instead of the usual fifty as in one day cricket.  

 Pakistan did well in the first six overs, restricting India to just twenty five runs. Dhoni and Jadeja tried hard but found the duo of Junaid and Yusuf difficult to get away as they bowled a tidy line and length and at a good pace too, sometimes in the vicinity of one hundred fifty kilometers per hour. Be that as it may, they had no option left but to play in the T-20 mould now, if they were to get the remaining sixty six runs in the four overs left for the day. Nobody was giving them even a semblance of a chance or counting on them to even get anywhere close to the target, leave alone achieving it!  

But, M.S. Dhoni had other ideas. He started off with his famed helicopter shot for six over mid-wicket in Junaid’s next over, followed it up with a crunchy straight drive for four off a full length yorker, a shot which only he could play, and then cover drove him, playing inside out for a massive six over the extra cover fence. With sixteen runs off the first three balls of the over, the crowd was on its feet yet again. As he took a comfortable single off the next ball, it was Jadeja’ s turn now to take over and hit the remaining two balls for successive boundaries, one a square cut that sped towards the point fence in the twinkling of an eye, and the other, a delicate leg glance to the fine leg boundary.  

It had turned out to be a very good over for India, with as many as twenty five runs coming off it, in all. But, it still required forty one more in the next three overs, by no means, an easy task. Dhoni, once again, didn’t disappoint his fans, by hitting three massive hefty shots for the maximum, over long on, long off, and straight over the bowler Parvez’s head, off the first three deliveries in the next over, the forty eighth of the innings. Young Parvez completely lost his line, rhythm and length, and just didn’t know where to bowl to the Indian captain. To add to his woes, he bowled a wide no-ball next. Two runs were added to the score and a free hit was awarded to the batting side, viz. the Indians.  

Although Dhoni could manage only a couple of runs off the free hit, hitting the full toss bowled straight into the hands of the fielder at deep midwicket, viz. Shehzaad, he reverse swept the next two balls for successive fours as if he was facing a spinner instead of a fast bowler. Thirty runs had come in the over bowled.  

With just eleven to get in the remaining two final overs of the innings, the game had again turned around and come full circle in India’s favor. However, the ever cool Dhoni got out in Junaid’s final over, trying to repeat his favorite helicopter shot, which he had been able to play successfully off the first ball in the bowler’s previous over. It was neither needed nor called for at this stage of the game, when they could easily do it in singles and two’s.  

It was rather uncharacteristic and unlike Dhoni’s calm approach, disposition, and temperament. But, the damage had been done and Pakistan allowed more than a glimmer of hope. May be, the first two dot balls off which Dhoni had been unable to get any runs, had got to his head. Dhoni had got out to the third ball of the over and the batsmen had crossed while the catch was being taken. Jadeja was in the hot seat now. And, just like Dhoni, he played out the first two balls he faced as dots and couldn’t make any use of them. He stepped out to the final ball of the over, trying to play a hefty cover drive, only to see his middle stump cart wheeling and flying off the ground.  

India had lost another vital and crucial wicket again, this time of Ravindra Jadeja. Junaid’s final over had turned out to be double wicket maiden one and he was virtually on the moon, clapping and celebrating with his team mates with high fives all around. Everybody was on his toes now for the final over of the Indian innings to be bowled by Yusuf Parvez, the upcoming young fast bowler from Peshawar. At this juncture, India still needed eleven runs to win with just three wickets intact. Pakistan needed to bowl out the final over for less than ten runs to win.  

A distinct third possibility had also come into the picture. And, that was India getting no more  than ten runs off the six balls it was to face, resulting in a ‘tie,’ or a drawn battle, so to say. Ravichandran Ashwin and Mohammed Shami were the two Indian batsmen at the crease now to take them through with Shami at the non-striker’s end. Umesh Yadav and Mohit Sharma, in that order, were awaiting their turn to bat, if required, in the pavilion.  

The first ball – a bouncer over the middle stump! No runs! Ashwin looked at S.Venky, the umpire officiating at the bowler’s end, appealingly for a no ball for extra height above the batsman’s shoulders, but there had been no signal from the square leg umpire, Ian Gould, and Venky simply signaled one bouncer, for the over. The second – a slightly wide full toss had Ashwin groping for it and flew to third man for a single. Mohammed Shami on strike now! The equation – ten to get off four balls!!  

The third ball by Parvez was a full length yorker, dug out somehow by Shami, and they stole a cheeky single! The equation – nine to get off three!! The fourth, a short one, was pulled fiercely by Ashwin to the mid-wicket fence for a welcome boundary for his team! Ashwin had proved his batting credentials time and again for India and this was no different! The equation – five to get off two!!  

The next ball, the fifth, was a quick good length one, and they ran an even quicker single like two hares running for their very lives!  

The equation – four to get off just one ball!! Oh, my, my goodness me, it was all topsy-turvy and could swing either way, although Pakistan seemed to have a slight edge at this point of the game. But, nothing can be said in cricket till the final ball is bowled!  

The final ball of the over and the innings was a fierce yorker by Yusuf Parvez, the young lad from Peshawar, who was learning all the time and had bowled a great last over. Mohammed Shami knew nothing about it; Ashwin was already half way down the pitch, screaming out to Shami to run; meanwhile, the wicketkeeper, Yaseen Jaffer, had thrown the ball to the bowler’s end but there was no one backing up; Shami started to run; the ball was stopped near mid-off by Misbah-ul-Haq, the Pakistan skipper, who threw it wildly to the batsman’s end, trying to run out Ashwin; both the batsmen reached their respective ends safely and tried to run the second as well and managing it too; the throw was so wild that it caught all the Pakistan fielders napping and unawares, going to the fine third man boundary and crossing the fence for four overthrows; while India needed four runs off this particular ball, they had been allowed six, much to the chagrin of the Pakistan team, and Parvez, in particular, who had done nothing wrong in this over.  

In the end, it had been a comedy of errors, of a sort. But, eventually, it was India who had kept their nerves and done the needful, beating Pakistan by three wickets, with its final score reading two hundred seventy three for seven. Of course, it was helped by the Pakistan fielding in the final over; but all said and done it had ultimately and finally prevailed over Pakistan in what had been a hard fought, pulsating and nail biting game of cricket.  

Meanwhile, the much talked about and the much hyped over Amitabh’s stint at the commentary box had come a cropper. It simply had to. After all, everybody can’t do everything. Acting is one thing. But performing in reality is a different ball game altogether. If Amitabh Ji had to act out the role of a commentator in a film, it would have been a virtual cakewalk for him. But, describing live action and moreover a game like cricket with all its buzzwords and peculiar jargon is only a job for professional commentators. Some of the ex-players too have made a good job of it. On his part, Amit Ji were graceful enough to quit right in the beginning itself and fellow commentators on Star Sports (Hindi commentary team) eased him out quickly lest it became an embarrassment both for Mr. Bacchhan and Star Sports. Anyway, most of the audience didn’t complain and accepted the walkout gracefully. May be, they already had a lurking idea that it would be a tough endeavor for Amit Ji to carry out.  

Moreover, you can’t become a cricket commentator straightaway. You need time and graduate gradually from local matches to regional ones onto national level and finally arrive at the international level. You see, it’s a step by step gradual process. The only exception to this general rule could be ex-players who have played cricket at some level or the other. But, even here, everybody doesn’t succeed and turn out to be a good commentator. Rohan Gavaskar, the illustrious Sunil Gavaskar’s son, is a very good case in point with no ill-will towards anybody, especially the latter, who by all means, is an excellent TV cricket commentator himself.  

Before moving on to the two flashbacks from the lives of Mahesh and Saraswati alias Shakila, just a little word about their fifteenth wedding anniversary together, the T-20 format of cricket, and the IPL.

The couple solemnly celebrated their much wonted anniversary in the evening along with their two loving kids, Brij and Shaloo. First, they feasted upon the aforementioned specially ordered chocolate cake and followed it up by whetting their appetite to the maximum on the candle lit dinner, which had several courses, of course, all of them purely vegetarian and only soft drinks and fresh fruit juices.  

Coming to the T-20 format now; while, the reduced number of overs makes the game finish within three hours and the spectators get to watch all their favorite players in one go as also the outcome, we shall also have to say that the T-20 format of cricket suits the batsmen more than the bowlers, who are just left hapless and literally at the mercy of the former. Another valid point is that from a pure connoisseur’s point of view, T-20 is a very poor format and it has adversely affected (of course, along with one day cricket to a lesser extent, though) Test cricket too, which sometime back was his sublime delight.  

Before I round off this first part of the story and the narration, a word about T-20 tourneys like IPL. On the negative side, they have commercialized the game no end. But, the positive point is that many youngsters get to play with their seniors, not to speak of some of their role models as well, as also earn some decent money in the process.  

[lenaysworld]

Midterm Blog Post

First Project Prototype/Progress

As of today, I have filmed and uploaded a total of 27 videos onto the YouTube channel playlist dedicated for my 40-day vlog experiment! That means that I have only 13 more days (including today) of filming and uploading. Over the course of these past 27 days, I have not missed a single day of filming, uploading, or any “check-in”. I am very proud of myself on sticking to my regimen and continuing this ritual for these 27 days, no matter how crazy my life was during those days or how much I may not have wanted to broadcast my life on certain days! Below are some photos of the fully populated YouTube channel playlist, as well as some screenshots of some individual videos that belong to the experiment/playlist.

A screenshot of the fully populated YouTube channel playlist dedicated to this experiment. 

A screenshot of my most recent video (10.27.19)

A screenshot of a video filmed roughly halfway into the experiment (10.14.19)

A screenshot of a video filmed toward the beginning of the experiment (10.3.19)

In addition to being over halfway done with the vlog experiment, I also have done some preliminary analysis on general patterns, themes, and transformations the project has experienced through the course of the experiment thus far. All of this analysis can be seen throughout my process blog posts. I will also list out the general analysis I’ve observed/noted below:

1) A general obsession with school work and “the grade”

2) A direct correlation between school and a lower mood

3) A general theme of severe anxiety/worry exhibited by me throughout the course of the experiment (usually involving school work, but also from other external sources)

4) A general theme of depression exhibited by me throughout the course of the experiment (usually due to the high anxiety I face from schoolwork, but also from other external sources)

5) I am generally more positive on the weekends and more negative on weekdays (this is related to the direct correlation between school and a lower mood)

6) Audience outreach (my subscriber count is increasing, I am receiving comments, direct messages, text messages, etc. as a result of the videos, engagement seems to be increasing over time, etc.)

As well as completing some preliminary, along-the-way analysis, I have also researched some analysis tools that I plan on using after the 40-day challenge is completed (and during the analysis phase of this project). These tools have been discussed on my process blog as well, but I will list them out on here as well:

1) YouTube Auto-Captioning (to transcribe my videos to later put through a word analysis tool)

2) Online-Utility.org (to analyze common words/emotions stated by me over the course of the experiment)

3) YouTube Analytics (to analyze audience engagement/outreach)

Overall, I am very on-track with my project (I am actually kind of ahead of the game, considering I’ve done some analysis along the way, which means I will have less analysis to complete come the completion of the 40-day experiment). I am very proud of my progress and how dedicated I have been to the entire project. I’m also looking forward to how the project transforms even further as I continue to work on it!

Midterm Demo Feedback

I received a bunch of amazing and insightful feedback from everyone on Midterm Demo Day. One of the first pieces of feedback I got was about how I would like to “brand” my project moving forward (and especially for the documentation video). The person I spoke to asked me what I would like to get out of this project/what I would like to use it for and urged me to try to reverse-engineer the project to then fit that “brand” or image. With that in mind, I thought about it, and I was thinking that I could possibly brand the project as a project with many brands. Since the project has taken on many forms throughout its lifetime (going from an experiment into authenticity on our online platforms to becoming a commentary on the flaws of the university system to a self-reflective video diary on my struggles with anxiety/depression), I am thinking that the best way to brand this project is to embrace its many forms and transformations. Although in the past, I viewed the documentation video as more of a result share-out (in which I would discuss the “results” of the experiment, like the most commonly said word, most watched video, etc.), I am thinking now instead of using it as a glimpse into the project’s many transformations (perhaps the transformations of the project are the results of the experiment). With this idea in mind, I am getting a better feel for what the documentation video is going to look like (something that I was quite worried about recently, considering there’s so many ways to “brand”/position this project).

Another piece of feedback that particularly stuck out to me was Luke DuBois’ feedback on trying to get others to partake in this challenge once it is over (via the documentation video). I absolutely LOVED this idea, and I’m honestly mad it wasn’t my own idea! When it comes time to write the script for the documentation video, I will be sure to play around with this idea and include something/some sort of hook to get others to feel inspired to partake in this 40-day challenge.

Another person I spoke with during the demo was my project mentor, Bill Tunnicliffe. Bill is a filmmaker by trade, so his feedback was a bit more about the entertainment factor of the project than the experimental, analytical aspect of it. He also seemed very concerned about the fact that the key research question is about authenticity, but my videos are not achieving full authenticity (for instance, even though I am not editing much, I am still editing the clips by compiling them together and watching them back. Also, I am reading the comments and text messages and direct messages that are being sent to me throughout the course of the experiment, which Bill thinks is problematic because it is subconsciously altering what I say in the videos and is therefore turning the project into a “ship that is being steered rather than a voyage after its done”). I completely understand Bill’s concerns, as I am aware that the videos are not fully authentic (for all the reasons Bill mentioned, there is still a level, be it a low one, of self-curation going on within this project). However, I think that I can address this in the documentation video by saying that the project was born out of the desire to employ techniques that would make for a more authentic vlog series than that of the average YouTube vlogger, but that the project has transformed into something different over time (again, a commentary on school, a documentation of someone who lives with anxiety/depression, etc.). I think that would clear the air on what this project is and what it has become over time (because I am aware that if I brand it solely as an “authentic vlog series”, one could fire all the things Bill fired at me at the demo).

As far as the documentation video goes, however, Bill thought I have a lot to work with and can make a really whacky, fun, and humorous video that encapsulates the transformation of the project over time. This was relieving to hear, because again, the documentation video is the one aspect of this project that’s been bugging me/worrying me the most.

Overall, I think the feedback I received during the midterm demo was all very insightful on how I should move forward with my documentation video (and what I should discuss in it). Everyone I spoke to also expressed how revealing and interesting the project is, which I appreciated. Everyone seemed to really enjoy the concept and they all commended me for my progress and dedication to stay on track with the challenge.

All this being said, I feel rejuvenated about my project and have a much clearer vision on the next steps. Now, it’s time to finish filming and move into the analysis/documentation video phase!

[laguardiathinks]

Every year I make a goal of it to read two books a month. Every year I make a list. I usually end there, but this year I thought I’d jot down some impressions of each book and post / share the list. Here you go! (The list is in the order I read the books).

1. Sails On The Horizon -- Jay Worrall, 284 pp

* This is the first of three books by Jay Worrall in a series of Royal Navy historical fiction in the vein of Patrick O’Brian or C. F. Forester. It doesn’t measure up to either of them, but it’s a fun read nonetheless. This first of the three is the better of the two I read this year.

2. Wanderer -- Sterling Hayden, 434 pp

* Sterling Hayden was a movie star in the golden age of Hollywood. He had a self destructive urge to chuck the career and go sailing in schooners. The book is well written, entertaining, but frustrating to watch as Hayden screws up his life, marriage and family. Fascinating insight into the HUAC hearings and the red scare. Great read.

3. Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman, 418 pp

* I need to read it again. There were so many deep insights in this book into how people think. Kahneman and his partner were the subjects of Michael Lewis’s most recent book, “The Undoing Project”. I haven’t read that one yet, but this one was one of the best I read this year.

4. In The Garden of Beasts -- Erik Larson, 365 pp

* Erik Larson writes good books. Years ago I read “Isaac’s Storm”, a gripping account of the worst natural disaster in US history, a hurricane that hit Galveston and killed 6000 people. This book puts you into the days leading up to the Nazis coming to power. The fascinating part is that you are in the heads of people who don’t yet know how the story is about to turn out, sort of like all of us today.

5. Essential Dutch Grammar -- Henry R. Stern, 84 pp

* Essential if you want to speak Dutch.

6. Any Approaching Enemy -- Jay Worrall, 274 pp.

* See above. Not as worth it as the first in the series.

7. Storm Passage: Alone Around Cape Horn -- Webb Chiles, 248 pp

* Webb Chiles is a serial solo circumnavigator in sailboats. He’s even done it in an open double masted canoe, I think. He writes pretty well about the experiences he’s had as well, and his books are available for download from his website. He’s part of what I’d call the “Cruiser’s Cannon”. If you’re interested in long distance journeying on a sailboat, read Webb Chiles along with the Pardey’s, Hal Roth, and some others.

8. Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind -- Michael J. Bradley, 324pp

* This is less about what’s wrong with teen agers and more of a guild for how parents can adapt and adjust to the crazy emotional swings of these years. I think it helped me to read the book. It definitely pointed out many of the things I was doing wrong, some of them embarrassing and painful.

9. In het donker is het veilig -- Els Beerten, 79 pp

* My first book in Dutch! Els is Greet’s aunt, and a well known author of both young adult books and full-on adult novels (Els came in second a few years ago for the Dutch language version of the Pulitzer Prize called the Golden Owl for her book “Alemaal Willen We de Hemel”.

10. Satchmo: My Life in New Orleans -- Louis Armstrong, 240pp

* It was fun to read a book in Armstrong’s own words. His voice is strong. There’s not a super compelling narrative. It’s more like sitting at his knee and listening to him reminisce about the old days in New Orleans. The book stops before he goes on to achieve most of his fame and is more a litany of his early heroes among the marching band and jazz hall giants of the teens and twenties.

11. The Unbanking of America -- How The New Middle Class Survives -- Lisa Servon, 184 pp

* I mostly red this for work, but it was a good primer on understanding why and how banks and other traditional financial institutions are not working for about half of America. It’s a quick read. Informative.

12. Admiral Hornblower In The West Indies -- C. S. Forester, 342 pp

* The last of the Horatio Hornblower series. Wow! These books are great! Along with Patrick O’Brian, historical fiction at its best. I’m excited to go on and read other Forester books like “The African Queen”.

13. Wizard's First Rule -- Terry Goodkind, 820 pp

* I’ve hear about and seen Goodkind’s books for years in the fantasy section of bookstores. I’ve had them recommended to me. I think this was a bit too sadomasochistic for my tastes, kind of like what you might expect if Stephen Sagal took up writing about sorcerers and dragons. I won’t be reading more of his seemingly endless series of books.

14. Barbarian Days - A Surfing Life, William Finnegan, 447pp

* Finnegan’s writing can lay a great deal of claim to why we live in the Bayt Area and why I surf. He wrote an article in the early 90’s for the New Yorker called “Playing Doc’s Games” that I read and thought “I want that!” It described big wave surfing at Ocean Beach in San Francisco. It painted a picture of surfing as wild and cerebral way more of a calling than I had ever expected. The book is more melancholy than I thought it would be, and Finnegan has decidedly love-hate relation with the pursuit. It was a great book. Along with “Caught Inside” by Daniel Duane, I’d rank it as my favorite surfing book.

15. The Billionaire and the Mechanic -- Julian Guthrie, 336 pp

* This is the story of Larry Ellison’s multiple America’s Cup campaigns and of the involvement of the San Francisco Yacht Club. The book was a great window into sailboat racing, the history and maneuvers around the Cup. I think I understand it now. It is also a gripping blow-by-blow of the multiple campaigns. The book even managed to humanize Ellison a little bit.

16. Hillbilly Elegy -- J. D. Vance, 261 pp

* Lots of hype about this one. It would have been hard to live up to it. Call it “Angela’s Ashes of Ohio”. Part of my ambivalence is realizing that I come partly from the same stock as Vance. I called my grandparents “Mamaw and Papaw” too.

17. Sacred Hoops -- Phil Jackson and Hugh Delehanty, 224 pp

* Mindfulness and basketball. I ended up getting to know and liking Phil Jackson. The book wasn’t particularly well written, but it did provide a privileged perspective.

18. Body of Lies -- David Ignatius, 349 pp

* This is a great spy novel. At a company offsite this year we had Hank Crumpton, former head of counter terrorism under Bush 2 and bona fide spy for many years come speak with us. Someone asked which portrayal of spies in popular media comes closest to reality. He said David Ignatius.

19. A People's History of the United States --Howard Zinn, 688 pp

* The history of the US told from the perspective of women, slaves, Native Americans and the working class. It turns out we suck in many, many ways. There are high ideals on which the country was founded, but we’ve spent the majority of our history not nearly living up to those ideals. We’re still not today. This was a bear of a book to get through, but it felt important and edifying the whole time. Glad I read it. I wish we could do better as a country.

20. Around the World in Eighty Days -- Jules Verne, 297 pp

* It’s a classic! It still holds up to reading. The classics are classics for good reason.

21. Hyperion — Dan Simmons, 482 pp

* How did I go so long without knowing about this series from Dan Simmons!? Some of the best science fiction I’ve ever read, right up there with Asimov’s Foundation series or Ender’s Game, but with a deep injection of classic literature (Chaucer!!) and poetry (Keats and Yeats!!).

22. Single & Single — John Le Carré, 345 pp

* I love Le Carré. It is spy fiction, but quietly, masterfully and elegantly written. Read anything by him.

23. The Fall off Hyperion — Dan Simmons, 517 pp

* See above. The first book in the series is really the set up. This is the payoff. There are others, but these first two books provide a complete story arc.

24. Sad Cypress — Agatha Christie, 191 pp

* Timeless popcorn.

25. Stormy Weather — Carl Hiaasen, 400 pp

* Present-day popcorn. Hiaasen is a columnist at the Miami Herald. He pulls many of his story ideas from the actual news. His books are a riot, filled with whacky characters on crazy capers with antiheroes and the backdrop of swamps and gators.

26. Doctor No — Ian Fleming, 232 pp

* I’ve never read a Bond novel. I wanted to see where the movies came from. It was interesting from a historical perspective, but dated, racist, mysogenistgic, and contrived. The funny thing is that the movies seem to do better by taking it all further and taking it less seriously.

[lateforcoffee]

This is a little political but please open a debate, this an important topic

Violence.

Violence is everywhere in American culture. Its so prominent in our every day lives that one could say we as humans almost seem to crave some sort of violence. From violent movies featuring idolized super heroes literally getting their head cut off or gunning through hordes of unnamed faceless goons, to video games where an entire feature is that you can murder random people in a number of whacky ways, to novels which have been around far far longer than either of my previous points that contain violence of some kind.

Now. Is it an insane assumption to connect the dots and believe that the crime rate and mass murder rate is directly affected by these forms of media? No. It makes sense with ver little thought required. I see violence; I want to emulate violence.

Now heres where i interject and propose this radical new idea that can be applied to more than violence.

Perhaps we crave violent media because it is a moral, ethical, and guilt free way to feel empowered. To scratch an itch. Some would turn away, deeply disturbed, from Grand Theft Auto's realistic environment inwhich you have the option to mow people down in any kind of car you can think of only to murder droves and droves of cops. GTA is a low hanging fruit but it sends the message. Its disturbing. Outright morbid. The things you CAN do are truly vile and no person should ever wish to do them in a real world setting.

You're driving to work. You cant find your keys and so you cant brush your teeth or eat or really get cosy before commuting to work. You're already a little disgruntled. Its a hot summer day and the steering wheel is too hot to touch and the car seat is sticking to you and no matter how hard you crank it the AC just wont give anything. Then you pull out... and into a mile of traffic. Traffic so bad the radio is talking about how they pitty you if you're heading to work. You get to work an hour late. You're hot. You're tired. You dont want to be here. Your boss chews you up and spits you out. By now, any reasonable person would want to tear their hair out and scream in frustration. Its normal. Its /human/. Lets say you're not fased by GTA's violence or any other graphic media that portrays violence sickeningly realistically. If you were to go home in this exhausted, hot, and angry state you might want to find a way to vent that out before it hurts something or someone. You could go for a run, maybe do some yoga. Follow your hobby. But if your hobby is to immerse yourself in a fantasy for a few hours a day then why not endulge in some violence in a safe place?

Just like violent art, no one is actually getting hurt. Theres no blood or blame for anyone to carry as burden for the rest of their lives.

But of course we still have mass shootings and murder and rape. But perhaps these stem from mental illness and unwellness, being disturbed in a fragile state such as childhood, wreaking a sad and horrowing cycle of abuse from father to child. We are, collectively, working towards understanding why people feel that way. What goes so wrong in someone's life or chemistry that they cant control their violent tendencies. That they actively wish to fulfill them.

When you pick up a good book you know the characters will stay in the pages and your mind. You wouldnt run around screaming about the one true ring or how you need to get to Hogwarts after you read. For some people the line between reality and fiction is blurred, however. And why this line is blurred or missing entirely is important to know. Imagine for a moment that all of your favorite characters and villains never stopped following you after you consumed their media. It would be horrible, and in some cases, very scary.

Back on topic a little. You just got home and you're exhausted and angry and you dont want to talk to anyone or even hear your name. So you do some yoga. You make something. You feel better. Theres a sense of fulfillment that follows you doing that hobby or activity. Violent media is no different. We consume it so much because, deep down, a staggering amount of us dont like an equally staggering amount of everyone else. We know, though, and in our stable mental health, that we cant just punch Richard in the face for being a dick to you at work. Your boss gets angry, Richard gets angry, people are scared, nothing sensible comes from that. It just makes a bad situation worse.

In a movie henchmen and mobs of animals or other miscellaneous aliens and creatures are killed over and over and over in pursuit of the hero achieving their ultimate goal: stop the bad guy. In a movie does the hero face immediate repercussions from punching some random guy in the face? Of course not. Nobody was actually punched and we know that no one was hurt in the end. But the look, the sound, the violence that follows the characters is fulfilling and relieving.

Now to the other things i mentioned forever ago. Sex. Sex is, for some reason, taboo in America. You dont say you have sex, you dont share porn, you actively deny the existence of porn in public otherwise you face social ostracizing.

Porn is quite literally a sexual movie. Its soul purpose is to provide an experience you might not be able to do safely right now or at all. You probably wouldnt just watch porn just to watch porn. Its boring like that. Theres no fulfillment from it. You watch it and consume it to achieve that fulfillment. That fantasy of that fetish.

If you take away porn you take away that same style of vent for those other less than comfortable emotions (anger, sadness, anxiety,) and you, in my opinion, make things worse. Theres no longer a safe place or way to express that feeling. You cant find the same fulfillment and some will get restless. It will drive others mad and these emotions that build up without fulfillment get stronger and stronger until the consequences of your actions no longer stunt you and you lash out at somebody. That creates a dangerous environment. Another plus side to porn is that we get to explore ourselves intimately which is an important part of life. It will help you to explore your mate or partner more intimately as well.

How about self worth. Self worth is a really important part of personality. You need to value and validate yourself otherwise you become depressed and recluse from society. So why not have another safe place to express yourself? Like Tumblr. You can post almost anything you want and talk about almost anything you want(I say almost because certain topics and media are banned by our government and our society looks down on other topics such as racism). You could play a game where you're an epic unstoppable knight and for a while feel powerful and in control. Or you could watch an action movie and get your fix that way.

In conclusion. I believe we need violent media and most importantly we need to internally moderate ourselves. You are the only person and being that has ultimate control over you. YOU decide what you say and how you say it. YOU decide what media you see and how you think of it. YOU need to be the one in control of your media. Know your boundaries and keep yourself safe, happy, and fulfilled.