#it’s was sort of good but it also felt short 😭

[pupyuj]

The nation needs more Older G!P Stepsister Yujin 🗣🗣🗣

i actually don’t remember if i’ve written stepcest w yuj before and if i have it must’ve been forever ego so here’s a little food for ya’ll, courtesy of vexie 💕

annoying older stepsis yuj x spiteful bratty younger stepsis reader… well yes! 🥴 you and yujin hating each other the moment you met 😭 only playing nice when your dad and her mom are around bcs they want nothing more than to see their daughters getting along despite this odd situation they’ve put the two of you in ☹️ but as soon as they leave for work… yujin would spend the entire day annoying you, pulling pranks, insulting you, and sometimes even slutshaming you bcs she knows about your reputation in your university… which just so happens to be her own university’s nemesis in terms of sports (since she plays for her uni’s women’s soccer team and all) 🤓☝️ but sometimes you get the upper hand! there are days where yujin is too exhausted to bother you, merely giving you a dirty look before dissolving into the soft couches and watching her favorite shows for hours on end… and that was where you got the wicked idea to play into this whorish reputation your fellow schoolmates have given you!

see, ahn yujin may be to worst thing that has ever happened to you but she also just so happens to be criminally attractive so as messed up as it was, considering that you’re technically family, you were super into her! bcs come on! pretty, tall, hits the gym regularly, and is also very obviously interested bcs she was never at all subtle when staring at your ass while you walk around the house?? yujinnie was basically asking you to seduce her.. and that you did! coming down from the stairs wearing the nastiest pair of booty shorts and a thin tank top that you owned and having to hold back a triumphant smirk when you spotted yujin physically perking up at the sight of you… like a puppy that was eyeing her newest toy 🤭

gosh you did every cliche seducing tactics in that living room it was almost embarrassing 😭 bending over at the right angle for yujin to stare at your ass while you take the remote control from the coffee table, making sure that you have to walk in front of her before sitting down on the empty spot beside her, letting one strap of your tank top to fall down your arm and making sure your top was loose enough for yujin to see the slightest bit of your tits… well, suffice to say you were successful! and you knew bcs yujin immediately put a pillow on her lap to cover up her crotch as soon as she felt her jeans tightening up 🫣🫣 you would’ve loved to tease her more since it felt so so good being the one who was doing the tormenting for once but you were just a girl! you needed your holes filled and yujin had the right tool for that!

she was hogging a bowl of popcorn allll the way to her other side so you had to reach over just to steal a few, and ofc you didn’t miss the way yujin’s eyes flickered down from you lips to your breasts,, she immediately looks away though! swallowing hard and pretending like she’s not at all bothered 🤭 on a normal day where you weren’t dressed like a common whore she would actually argue with you over getting your own damn bowl of popcorn but not today! she was now thinking with her dick and you couldn’t fucking wait to make fun of her about it 😝 tomorrow. after she’s done breeding you tonight 😋

“being called a slut in campus not good enough for you? you have to look like this at home too?” yujin asks just to get some sort of control over the situation but it was too late 🥺🥺 sitting closer, blinking your eyes with faux innocence and saying, “seems like you like it though. don’t you, unnie?” well fuck! you never call yujin ‘unnie’ unless you’re talking with your parents and in this situation, there was nothing pure about the way you said it so yujin was just a fucking mess 😭 she doesn’t know what to do with herself! you almost pitied her—you just knew that her poor cock was begging to be free from her jeans… and ofc you promised your dad that you would be a good stepsister to your yujin-unnie and you wouldn’t dare break that promise! 🫢 putting the bowl of popcorn away and having to rip off that damn pillow from her lap, you straddled yujin and… well, the rest, as they say, is history! 🫣

one minute the two of you were messily making out and touching each other everywhere with clumsy hands and the next she has completely (and literally) ripped your tank top and pulled your shorts off, pinning you down the couch and what surprised you was how yujin didn’t even bother to take your panties off… she decided that the pair looked way too good on your skin so she merely pulled it to the side before ramming her cock inside you, and now both of you were thinking about nothing but each other! 🤗💕 thank goodness your parents were not home and your neighbors on either side as well as across were away bcs the two of you were so fucking loud and the curtains were not at all closed!! like fuck, it’s almost as if the two of you jumped straight out of a porn video 😭

one would think that people who hate each other as much as the two of you did would be cursing the other even at this moment where you were fucking like rabid animals but nope! both of you were too lost in pleasure to have anything that ain’t moans leave your mouths 🤭 it only drove yujin even more crazy when you wrapped your legs around her waist, encouraging her to fuck your harder… the wet noises of skin slapping against skin pushing you closer and closer to your climax… yujinnie’s bites and little whines making you fucking wish that your parents get home late bcs fuck, you need to hear more of her like this! 🥴

it doesn’t take long for either of you to cum.. but what bothrred you is that yujin fucking pulled out! however, she does notice your annoyance… way after she has spilled every drop of her cum on your stomach and thighs.. “later.. in my room… i have condoms.” poor baby was too tired to even speak! 🥺 “no, idiot. don’t wrap it up. fucking cum inside me.” you demanded 😭 ofc yujinnie folds bcs who was she to deny a pretty girl of her seed, yk!? “fine! but don’t fucking cry to me if you get pregnant.” oh she was pissed at being pushed around but literally the next second she rests her head on your chest and snuggles into you for warmth ☹️💞💞

when your parents came home, they spotted the two of you cocooned into a warm blanket in the couch as you watched a fun movie together, cuddling like the sweet ‘sisters’ they always saw the two of you as 🫢 but as soon as they busied themselves in the kitchen, your hand slides inside yujin’s boxers and her own cups your ass… nothing innocent about the two of you at all 😭

[stevenose]

ok also so i can't stop thinking about it's unexperienced!reader's first time getting high and bsf!steve's somewhat experienced so she trusts him to teach her. they smoke a few joints, she takes quite a few hits, and new discovery!! reader is HORNY when she's high. not even subtly, so so blunt like 'ugh i wish someone's head was between my thighs rn' ASFHSHHFS..... anyways.... it ends up with steve not being able to help himself and they INDULGE. like raw, next question. 😭😭 anyways

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 this got me fucked up…

i see this and raise you fucking steve raw when you’re stoned. and he’s like, we can’t fuck without a condom!!! and you’re like, well it’s okay if you cum inside of me because you’re my best friend. and for some weird reason that makes sense…

like reader being so loudly horny the first time they smoke and asking steve personal questions that make him keep smoking because he needs to be on your level. pronto.

and the moment you say “i’ve always wondered what it would feel like if someone came in me,” he’s a damn goner.

“yeah?” he breathes, a hand resting on your thigh, your eyes unbelievably red.

“have you ever came inside someone?”

“uh,” he stutters. “in- in a condom, yeah.”

and you lick your lips, staring intently at him, your hand moving to his. “raw?”

which leads to him fucking you (after the longest and most sensual foreplay you’ve experienced in your life). he’s so soft and sweet, taking such good care of you - but deep, nearly enough to hurt. you don’t stop him, though - not when you can feel every vein and the warmth of his smooth shaft. the feeling is magnified from your weed fueled stupor. feels better than anything you’ve ever felt before.

steve looks so handsome from your point of view. he always has been, of course, but this feeling of lust for him is sort of new. “does it feel good?”

licking his lips, steve nods. “god, love it — always wanted - wanted to —“

he cuts himself short, biting his tongue. he has enough brain left in his head to know he shouldn’t talk about how much he wants to knock someone up. maybe even you, now that he thinks about it.

but his brain is gone in an instant when you clench down on him, your cunt gripping him like a vice. “oh f- shit, shit, shit — wanna cum in-inside this pretty pu-pussy, christ!”

“oh, do it!” you sound like it’s the best idea you’ve ever heard. “wanna feel it too, steve, c’mon.”

he shakes his head, swallowing hard. “c-can’t.” he’s begging, pleading at you with his pretty pussy-drunk brown eyes to stop saying that. he can’t bust inside of you, not raw, not during your first time together.

“it’s okay,” you pant. “be-because you’re my best friend, doesn’t - it doesn’t count. ‘s okay for us.”

the remnants of steve’s brain are in his dick and he can’t find any problems with your point.

[cozage]

hello! Im kinda new to tumblr so i dont really know if im supposed to send requests here so sorry if im supposed to send it somewhere else, but for my request can it be fem! Reader x sanji? Hurt to comfort where he says something mean but then apologizes? And can you pull out the angsty bit a little, but make the ending fluffy? And for the format can it be like a mini fic? If you want you can add other characters but i mainly want sanji! Thats all! Sorry if my request didnt make sense as im new to tumblr😔. Thank youu!

A/N: Hi! You did everything perfectly!! Thank you for the request <3 it was so hard to make Sanji mean even accidentally 😭 I hope this is good! It’s also not edited so please forgive any grammatical errors!  Characters: fem reader x Sanji Cw: Sanji is an idiot and says mean things (and is a little sexist) Total word count: 900

Rude Comments

“I can do it, Sanji.” Your words came out quick and short. Your temper was rising, both at your task at hand and the blonde who was hovering behind you. He didn’t normally come with you on jobs for Franky, but he had been free today.

“It’ll be faster if I do it,” Sanji offered. He reached out for the wrench. 

“I can do it!” you snapped again. You pulled away from the task and glared at him. “Franky asked me to do this, so let me do it!”

“Well, it’s just…” Sanji eyed your clenched fist around the wrench and took a step back. “It’s not really a woman’s job to do this sort of thing, and-”

“What the hell do you mean by that?” you bellowed. “You think I’m not capable of doing this?”

Sanji threw his hands up in a plea. “No my love! It’s not that at all! It’s just…you’re not very good at this.”

It felt as though you had swallowed a stone. “Franky always asks me to do this.”

“And you’re being very helpful!” Sanji said quickly. “But he gives it to you because it’s not exactly a top priority task and…well, it’s really hard to mess up.” 

Sanji gave a weary look back to your workplace as if your handiwork spoke for itself. His pitied gaze and words made you suddenly want to be alone. 

“Fine,” you mumbled, dropping the wrench to the ground. “Fix it for me, then.”

“Of course, darling!” Sanji jumped at the wrench. You were fairly sure he was already starting to explain how he turned the bolt, but you walked out the door without listening further. 

You didn’t see Sanji for a while. That was fine with you, though. You retreated to the back of the ship and perched atop a barrel, staring out at the sea to think. Did Franky always give you useless tasks just to keep you busy? You frequently had to return to the same tasks again and again. What if Franky broke things just to have you fix them? 

The thought brought tears to your eyes. You had been so sure Franky enjoyed your company and valued your help. He had called you “super indispensable” more times than you could count. Was it all just a lie?

“Darling?” 

Sanji’s voice broke through your mental spiral and you quickly wiped the tears from your cheeks. 

“Yeah?” Your voice came out wobbly, but there was no point in hiding from Sanji. 

You turned to face him. You had been ready for him to fuss over you, but you found that he was covered in sweat and grease and plenty of other weird stains and smears. He didn’t even seem to acknowledge your puffy eyes at first. He looked too exhausted. 

“So, this is the part where I apologize,” he said softly. 

He strode over to you in three steps and swept your hair out of your face. His hands were covered in grime, and you could feel the oily substance stick to your face. The feeling made you jerk away from him, but he was already pulling out a clean cloth and wiping it away. 

“I’m sorry I said those things, my love. I know you are very capable of doing anything you put your mind to. Your persistence is one of my favorite things about you. I shouldn’t have tried to take that away from you. You didn’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry I thought I could do something better than you just because of our genders.”

His words made your eyes swell. You had planned on still being mad at him after this. But seeing those crystal blue eyes and hearing his sweet words made you crumble all over again. 

“I forgive you.” You sniffed and wiped the tears from your eyes again. “Just don’t do it again.”

Sanji let out a laugh. “Oh, I will never be taking on a task Franky gives you again. You know how I said it was ‘hard to screw up’? It turns out that was wrong. I broke the whole pipe. Franky was pissed. He said he doesn’t let anyone touch that problem except you and him. Something about the pressure system needing a delicate hand, and only the two of you have the knack for it.”

It took a moment for his words to process, but you could feel your heart swelling. “Franky only lets me do that?”

Sanji nodded, guiding you towards the kitchen. “And a few other tasks. Says you’re the only one he trusts to do it right.” 

“I didn’t know that.” You had a vague feeling that you needed to cry for an entirely different reason now. 

He gave another laugh and sat you at the counter. “Well, you always excel at everything you do. It turns out I have a lot to make up for. What should we start with, chocolate cake or ice cream?”

[thebluester2020]

[SDV] "Wedding Night"

Give your thanks to @curlyhairkk!

Summary: Your wedding to Sebastian was, by far, the happiest moment of your entire life. The audience, the music, the food, everything! It felt like time had stopped, leaving you in pure bliss. But...though you loved spending time with your friends and everyone else in the valley, happy that they were just as excited as you were to celebrate your special day. You couldn't wait to officially consummate the marriage, and after having to suffer your teasing and seductive whispers during a game of pool...Sebastion couldn't wait either.

Warning(s): Brat!Reader (They do it just to tease Seb though), Rough to Gentle sex, Slight breeding kink sprinkled about, Virgin!Reader + Sebastian (Seb knows what he's doing though), Some Dirty Talking, Praise Kink,

Side Note(s): Sorry for the extremely long wait! (Having a creative block + Procrastination makes for a horrific combo)

Also, sorry if there's any wrong terminology with the pool scene. I have no clue how the game is played 😭. I hope you like the fic nonetheless!

When Sebastian had asked you to marry him, one warm spring day where the petals were beginning to fall from their branches and decorate the Earth. You hadn't a single clue prior that it would mark one of the happiest days of your life.

"This moment...it just felt right." Is what he said to you, his cheeks nearly as pink as the fallen petals.

There was no particular conversation or sentence that led up to your then-boyfriend suddenly pulling a mermaid pendant from his pocket. The two of you had been lightly teasing one another and laughing per the norm! All as you both stood on the beach dock that marked where you had first fallen in love with Sebastian, all on a stormy evening when he had told you his story and even offered for you to stand with him underneath his umbrella. Despite the chilliness of the wind, the scent of the strange mixture of both sea salt and heavy rain upon the air as well as the intimidating rumble of thunder...you were at peace in that moment, the warmth that exuded from Sebastian and how the two of you sat in silence gave you enough time to suddenly realize that...it seemed to you, each passing heartbeat, it only increased the budding love you already had on him tenfold.

Thus, it was a no-brainer to immediately leap into Sebastian's arms and say yes to his proposal, your heart nearly thumping straight out of your ribcage as you tightly shut your eyes, hoping that it wasn't a dream, and if it was? You didn't want to wake up from it.

And the weeks that followed suit were even more of a blissful dream.

You didn't consider any part of your wedding planning with your new fiancé as stressful, be it requesting Gus to cook enough food to feed the entire town, introducing Sebastian to your parents as well as inviting them to your wedding, or even spreading the news amongst Pelison Town! The memories of how happy each person in town looked as you asked them one by one to attend your wedding were a permanent snapshot inside your mind, right alongside the actual wedding reception when you had walked down the shoreline to the altar where your husband awaited you. The two of you wanted the wedding to be comfortable; it was easy for both of you to decide upon a non-traditional wedding of sorts, where you wore a short wedding dress with a pair of sneakers to match your outfit, while the only long part was the veil upon your head.

When you had reached the altar, however...there wasn't a priest to bless the union, but Lewis instead, he made jokes and congratulated you throughout the process so much that you thought he'd nearly turn blue. But once you and Sebastian's vows had been said, and you had kissed him and had a small celebration with him on the beach.

The saloon afterward was packed.

Drinks and good cheer filled the air, people congratulating you seemingly at every turn while all you wanted to do was simply sit down and take it all in! You were married and to the love of your life, no less! While it almost seemed as if this day couldn't get any better...as you watched Sebastian play a light round of pool with Sam, the blonde saying his congrats to his friend so much to where you silently began to think it was a ploy to try and soften him up to allow Sam to win for once.

You had been trying to drop hints to your husband.

Sultry looks and clearing your throat to call attention to you as you repeatedly crossed your legs, hints that were met with a quick glance and then immediate focus back to the game.

You huffed at the dry reaction, you were more than happy to spend time with the townspeople a little bit longer. After all, the day was still young and the colors of the sunset weren't even finished shifting completely over into night yet! But...you were eager for your wedding night, you had stepped out of your comfort zone and bought lingerie just for tonight after seeing reviews online. Even though the idea of fooling around with each other wasn't anything new, Sebastian and you had participated in some kissing here and a little light touching there, but...nothing further than that, although it was mostly nervousness on your part. Sebastian was sweet enough to always reassure you that he never wanted you to feel forced, that the two of you could take that step when you felt ready.

Now that you were married, you felt that way! It was nice simply being in his presence, but the second the two of you were married, something shifted.

You wanted more.

But the hints you were trying to leave weren't being picked up on. "Sebastian!" You suddenly said as you stood up from your seat in the corner, tired of watching Sam get his ass handed to him only to complain and whine for another round. If you weren't going to get attention through flirting, you'd simply get it another way. "Mind if I play?"

Sam's eyes widened. "You know how to play Y/N?"

You shook your head with a smile. "No, but I wanna learn! Why not now?" Sebastian looked at you with a slow raise of his brow as he straightened himself up from angling his cue stick to one of the pool balls. Then he looked to Sam before snickering. "I guess I can teach you a few ways to beat Sam then." He said, much to the annoyance of the blonde.

"I already get beaten by you enough. I'm not losing to your wife next!"

A blush swiftly made its way to your face when Sebastian gently manhandled you to stand in front of him before he helped you angle your pole stick to the ball he was focusing on just moments ago. "Playing pool is easy, you just have to—" You felt bad for how you tuned out your husband's words so easily. But...with the combination of his hot whispers against your ear as well as the way he'd slowly press himself closer against your ass, could you blame yourself for being distracted? Already an ache began to settle between your thighs, making you clench them together as you did your best to try and follow his instructions. But...truth is, you really couldn't care less about the game, much less beating Sam. All you wanted to do was get your new husband home.

And every time you missed the ball by a sliver, it was only met by Sam's mocking laughter while Sebastian tsked in your ear and pressed against you even harder. You hadn't even noticed that a soft moan slipped from your lips until your husband suddenly stilled behind you, he repeated the action of moving his hips against your ass, resulting in the same noise escaping your lips. Oh...no wonder you were suddenly so interested in playing pool. "C'mon," Sebastian suddenly encouraged you with a more sultry lilt to his voice. "My wife can beat all sorts of monsters in the mines, but she can't beat the town's worst pool player?" He chuckled when you looked over your shoulder with a small glare.

As punishment, you pressed your ass into him, resulting in Sebastian nearly choking on his breath at the act.

And this game of teasing one another lasted the entire round, with Sam none the wiser as he was either too busy cheering at the small wins he managed to steal away or huffing at yet another loss being added to his streak. Any other day, it would have been hilarious to witness but as Sebastian's cock continued to press harder against the front of his pants, the tightness nearly unbearable in comparison to how he wanted to do nothing more than feel just how soft you were without any clothes between the two of you, all of a sudden...you were completely blind to the predicament you put him in as you grumbled at Sam's win.

You clicked your tongue. "Another game!" You shouted. "No way that was fair, Sam!"

"It was too!"

"No, it wasn't—"

Sebastian got between the two of you with a sigh. "That's enough playing for one night. It's time we get home." He said. Your eyes widened as you feigned confusion at him, suddenly wanting to go home, purposefully ignoring how his face was flushed and how he stole glances at you, as if he were eager to do something to you. You weren't feeling that merciful just yet.

"Really?" You hummed. "I like playing with Sam, even if it's just to see him lose."

Sam grumbled your way. "One more game, Sebs! I won't be able to see you as much once you're all comfortable in your life as a married man."

"I—"

"Yeah, Sebastian, one more game!" You whined. "Please?" You tried your best to withhold a smirk at how Sebastian's reddening face deepened even further. When the two of you were in the dating phase, you were always teasing Sebastian about something; the sight of his face being as red as a strawberry was too cute, and the sentiment hadn't died out in the slightest the moment you walked down the aisle! The visible struggle of Sebastian standing by his words or listening to you...you could hardly get enough of it.

That is, until Sam decided to help his poor friend out. "I guess Sebastian's right," The blonde suddenly yawned, rubbing the back of his neck. "That's enough playing for tonight, we can always play next weekend!" He grinned. "Besides, I bet you two are eager to spend your first night as a married couple together, right?"

Even more fits of snickering left Sam when Sebastian gently pushed at his friend out of embarrassment, mumbling a quick curse his way before Sam held up his hands in mock defeat and stood off to the side.

But when your husband had overcome his embarrassment, you didn't know what it was exactly. Yet, there was a glint in his eye. One that sparked both nervousness and a delicious sensation of excitement throughout your veins as he was quick to say his final goodbyes to Sam before ushering you away and through the backdoor of the saloon to avoid running into anyone else. And the entire walk back to your farmhouse was...quiet, comfortable yet quiet, never once did his hand leave the small of your back, even when the two of you were at your doorstep before finally being inside of your house.

And the sudden crash of Sebastian's lips upon your own made you nearly jump out of your skin.

"Suddenly you've become my wife, and now you're so bold?" Your husband whispered in between kisses, his hands cupping your cheeks. "Cute." He added on, the two of you nearly bumping into every piece of furniture in the house before you both found yourselves in the kitchen. And as Sebastian parted his lips from yours, he smirked at the sight of your disheveled appearance.

Your veil had been lost in the chaos, and your hair had strands sticking out here and there while your lipstick was smudged. His cock throbbed at the look of pure need swimming about in your eyes. For a second, he almost didn't recognize you in comparison to the shy farmer girl that once grew nervous at the mere sight of him, you'd squeak like a frightened mouse when he'd place a hand on your thigh, and even the act of kissing had you nearly passing out! Now, all of a sudden? You were teasing him in public and begging for his dick.

He didn't know whether to consider it funny, arousing, or a mixture of both.

"Sebastian..." You quietly whined as you palmed at his clothed cock, forcing a hiss from his lips as he pressed you closer against the kitchen counter, his hips bucking into your touch. The two of you had never had sex before, a little fooling around here and there, but nothing ever penetrative...it was almost embarrassing for the poor man, he felt as if he were some teenager! Unable to control himself but...it may have been true as he stared at your watery eyes. Your bottom lip was sucked into your mouth a little as you continued to palm him, quiet moans and pleas for him to do something, anything leaving your lips as you tried to coax him closer and closer to you.

And as if he were falling under the spell of a siren, he did exactly that and more.

After pressing one last kiss to your lips, Sebastian turned you around to flip up your wedding dress, only for his jaw to drop at the lingerie piece you wore underneath. Oh, in that moment, he knew he fell in love with you all over again as his eyes were glued to your ass and the sheer piece of underwear that barely did anything to cover your ass, much less doing anything to hide your weeping pussy.

Hell, it didn't even do that to begin with.

There was an open circle in the center of your underwear, allowing your shiny slick to flow down freely and coat the insides of your thighs. You suddenly gasped when you felt Sebastian gently slip a finger between your thighs. "S-Seb!" You said, your head turning to look over your shoulder to see your husband absolutely mesmerized. His eyes flicked back up to you, threatening to stare deep into your soul as his tongue poked out to lick at his finger, a deep-set groan leaving his lips at your taste. "You taste good, honey," He smirked, his finger dipping back, this time purposefully grazing against your pussy to steal another taste.

And he repeated that act time and time and time again. Each prod of his fingers constantly grazing either the lips of your cunt or teasingly poking and even pinching at your aching clit. It was nothing short of torture, breathless moans and begs for him to stop teasing you falling on deaf ears as you tried to shake your ass to coax him into doing more. "P-Please—" Sebastian quickly stilled your attempts via forcefully grabbing your hips. "Ah, ah." He leaned forward with a smirk, your eyes instinctively closing in hopes of a kiss before he laughed in your face. "Let me finish tasting you honey, your cunt is the best thing I've ever had."

Your mouth struggled to form into a pout when his fingers resumed their teasing, you could see how much it was affecting Sebastian, the outline of your husband's cock only making you even wetter as you imagined it plunging inside of you. Only then...an idea popped into your head. "...I bet Sam would fuck me." You could've sworn the air suddenly became thirty degrees colder. And yet you doubled down. "He'd actually fuck me instead of teasing me!" You whined.

Sebastian gritted his teeth. "...Really?" His fingers paused in their umpteenth venture to your cunt, his hand falling to rest against your hip while his other hand slowly reached for his pants. "You're talking about another man on our wedding night?"

You huffed. "Y-You were teasing me!" You argued. "That's no fair—Ah!" Your words were suddenly stolen from you when your husband slapped your ass, the sudden pain rushed through your veins, the fiery fleeing left behind in its wake in combination with the unfamiliar feeling of Sebastian's cockhead beginning to tease your cunt making you clench your thighs. And he was having none of it. "Stop clenching your thighs," He ordered with a click of his tongue, forcing you to spread them apart further as he situated himself closer to your ass, placing a hand on your back to force you into an arch as you braced yourself against the counter. "I had no clue my wife had a secret brat in her..." Your husband murmured, more to himself rather than you as he rubbed his dick up and down your leaking cunt, gathering all your juices onto his dick before he started to teasingly press in and out of your tight hole.

You were about to spit another bratty remark in response to Sebastian once again teasing you until a sharp whine left your lips when he began to slide his cock in. The feeling was tight, the burning sensation making you clench your fists and hiss, but despite his annoyance, Sebastian was slow and gentle, stopping whenever the pain seemed to be too much for you until he was finally all the way in. "F-Fuck..." You whispered shakily as you reached back to press a hand against Sebastian's abdomen while your husband freely let out moans and pants at the tightness of your virgin walls.

He felt that if he had moved the slightest inch that he could cum.

You felt so good...wayyyy better than any daydreams he had about you. The nights of him fisting his cock to the imagination of you, the 'what-ifs?' of what would happen had you not expressed nervousness yet again at going all the way with him. Never once did he mind it but...the blue balls he'd have would be fierce, his leaky cock so hard that he feared it would burst. But now...there was no need to think about that as Sebastian moved an inch to test the waters, when you didn't make a sound, he thrust his hips a little harder, only to result in the sweetest moan leaving your lips.

You gasped at the feeling of Sebastian twitching inside of you. "S-Sebby..." You whined, your ears tearily looking up at him. "M-Move..."

He didn't wait a single second after the word of consent left your lips, the sound of his hips meeting your ass immediately beginning to echo throughout the kitchen as you had no choice but to hold on for dear life as your husband fucked you. Each thrust only forced out more of your slick, your wetness splattering onto Sebastian's abdomen while your moans rose in pitch by the moment, deep inside your gut, your husband was hitting something unfamiliar but...it felt sooooo good. "Fuuckkk..." You drawled out as your vision grew blurry from the pleasure, Sebastian groaning in tandem when he felt your pussy clench and tighten around him.

"My bratty lil' wife..." He said, his voice sounding as if it were as fucked out as you were. "Gonna mention my friend fucking you? I'll make you regret that—Every. Single. Word." He spat, each word accentuated with a particularly harsh thrust as he grabbed your waist and practically pulled you onto his cock, leaving no room for you to try and squrim away from him as your squeals grew in pitch.

"S-Sebastian!" You whined. "Your cock...f-feels so good...!" You continued to babble out.

"Yeah? You're less bratty when you have cock in you, aren't you?" He smirked, whispering out a quiet 'Fuck' to himself as his eyes trailed down from your back to your ass, the fat of your ass jiggling with each hit to his abdomen. "Fuck..." He whispered. "Such a good girl, takin' me so well." He began to praise, his cock twitching once more when you clenched down onto him.

A lightbulb went off in his head. "Oh?" He purred. "You like to be praised, baby?" You mindlessly looked over your shoulder, almost appearing shy. And that single look made Sebastian moan as he leaned over, pressing his front to your back as he dug his face into your neck, pressing kisses to the side of your neck and face as he whispered even more praises to you.

Your mind was swimming with pleasure, making it next to impossible to register what he was saying to you! Especially when you began to feel a weird knot begin to tighten in the pit of your gut with each hit Sebastian delivered to that spongy spot deep inside your cunt. "S-Sebby...." A long, drawn-out moan slowly left your lips as a line of spit dribbled out from the corner of your lips, your vision becoming even more unfocused as your eyes began to roll to the back of your eyes. Yet, your husband was having none of it as he suddenly took his lips away from your neck to grab your chin and gently shake your head side to side.

He was going to make you feel your first orgasm. "Oh nonono baby," Sebastian chuckled as he increased his pace, his other hand moving from your waist to rub figure 8's into your clit. The scream of pleasure rocked through your body as you bucked forward, your body instinctively trying to escape the sudden onslaught much to your husband's slight annoyance. "Y-Yoba!" You screamed. "T-Too much...fuckkkk...! S-Sebastian!"

He turned your face to face him, his face covered in a deep blush as he smiled dazedly at you. "Yeah...keep crying out my name honey~" He whispered. "You 'bout to cum? Go ahead...cum on my cock, let me feel it." Then he pressed his lips to your own, a messy clashing of tongues and teeth as he worked to bring you to your first orgasm on his cock. You whined into his mouth, your hands rushing to grab his arm as if he were your life support as that knot inside your stomach grew tighter and tighter until...it suddenly exploded.

Your eyes slammed shut as you screamed into Sebastian's mouth. Your cunt clenching as you came onto Sebastian's dick, a lewd squelching sound beginning to emit from your cunt just as your husband finally released your lips from his own. He felt his balls tighten at your fucked out face, his orgasm steadily beginning to creep up on him as well but...he was determined to give you another orgasm, a last-minute wedding gift of his own. "Yoba...you're so pretty honey," He said as he began to ease up on his thrusts when you began to whine from overstimulation. "Give me another orgasm...just one more, please?" He begged.

As Sebastian coninued his thrusts, slowly feeling you clench back onto his dick and resume your moans from earlier. He picked his former pace back up, his words more gentle as his hands slowly ran up and down your body out of appreciation. "Sososososo good for me honey," He whispered in your ear hotly, gently biting down onto the shell of your ear as his pace slowed back down as he began to grind into you. Each thrust was hard yet methodical, the change in pace building you up to your second orgasm while Sebastian felt him teetering on the line.

His pants became harsher and harsher as he began to rub your clit, soft whines escaping his lips as he begged for you to cum. "Please cum with me baby...fuck...I can't breed this pretty pussy without you cumming with me." He said.

On command, you came hard. A sharp moan tearing from your throat as you threw your head back onto Sebastian's shoulder, before you faintly heard your husband utter a curse before a searing heat filled your pussy. Ropes and ropes of his cum flooded your insides, threatening to spill out and join the small pool of your fluids that had dripped onto the floor if not for Sebastian staying so firmly pressed against you, his arms moving to wrap around your torso as if he were afraid you would disappear the second he let up on his grip by even a a little.

The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, simply basking in each other's presence until you broke the silence with a hoarse laugh. "I...I didn't know it could feel that good." You weakly said, your face somehow managing to get even redder at the sound of your husband's chuckle.

Sebastian nuzzled his cheek against your own as a growing smirk crept onto his face before he placed a soft kiss onto your cheek. "Don't worry, we have the rest of our lives together." He said. "I'll show you everything and more~"

[illicitland]

𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨

spencer agnew x fem!reader

‎

‎summary: when the ghost of the past comes to haunt you no prayer can make it go away, especially when he is your coworker and the fans have been asking for you two.

‎

‎although there had been speculations about you and spencer's relationship neither of you have confirmed or even entertained the topic to the viewers.

‎hence, when the split happened you only had to explain it to trusted people.

‎the workload of being a full-time cast member and producer kept your mind from thinking much about the break up. however, having to see him everytime you turn your head did not help.

‎during the smosh games videos there was a noticeable distance between the two of you. from the past videos, it was no brainer that you both would sit next to each other bantering with one another or spencer helping you cheat. but this time, you sat next to chance and arasha instead. you tried so hard to be bubbly, energetic and humorist but the discomfort was noticeable. arasha offered her hand to give you some sort of comfort. you gave it a little squeeze to show your gratitude.

‎from time to time, you and spencer would lock eye contact and would immediately dart your eyes apart from one another. you can't deny that there is a burning urge inside you that wants to joke with him, or at the very least utter a word that's directed towards him. he too hoped for that. he wished that you would acknowledge this presence and that you would not just disassociate whenever the topic is directed to him.

as much as you are enjoying the games you are dreading for the video to be over so that you can go back to you desk and pretend he doesn't exist.

𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 ×

𝙏𝙤𝙥 Topics Newest

username9

you can see how much less chaotic they are when angela is not around😭

↓ 15 replies

username001

are we not gonna address how distant y/n and spencer are?

→ username123

so i am not going insane, you guys are seeing what i am seeing.

→ username08

them not sitting next to each other is super sus

↓view more replies

username888

at 19:54 when everyone was taking turns dissing spencer she just looks down? please this is worse than my mom and dads divorce.

↓ 22 replies

username15

you guys, they are all friends you can see in her eyes that she's simply not feeling well. i'm sure it's not personal.

→ username143

me when i try to play stupid:

↓ 35 replies

username51

call me when they are ok again

↓ 10 replies

the atmosphere in the office never seems to thicken more as time passes. you thought that by now you both would have been over it and be back to being friends once again.

after that video was posted the directors decided that it was best to not put you two in the same video, not until the tension was figured out.

the fans have noticed and are protesting to bring the both of you back to the same screen at the same time. this was brought up on the idea briefing subtly.

"so i was thinking, it's about time we hold a funeral roast for y/n." courtney suggested. "also here, we can finally add spencer since they have been asking for you guys in the same video." after she left those words you felt the eyes on you.

"i don't know, court. you know what it's like between us. it's probably not a good idea for me to roast her." spencer butted in from the other side of the conference room. everyone in the room seemed to agree.

"guys, i don't mind. i'll be dead anyway." you said humorously but with a dry laugh. to be honest you really don't want it to happen but causing this much inconvenience to the company just made you feel so bad.

after your confirmation the meeting went on like it usually does and by the end of it everyone started to leave one by one. you on the other hand are trying to clear your notes jotted down from the meeting. as you were caught up with what you are doing the presence in front of you caught your attention.

as you darted your eyes to him you caught a short glimpse of the look he had been giving whilst you write. the two of you were stuck there for a secret before he broke the silence.

"you don't have to do it you know. they will totally understand." he said with pure concern. he knows you too well. the discomfort you've successfully hidden for your other coworkers to see can be sensed by spencer.

"really, spencer. it's no big deal. i can handle a roast, you know that." you said trying to not make the conversation awkward. "plus, when we ended things we swore it will be like before, back when we were just colleagues. i'm sorry that i've been avoiding you or the topic for the last few weeks."

the truth is when he's around you feel like exploding. when you both lock eyes you have to fight the urge of taking back the break-up and ask him to get back with you. but, you know standing firm with your decision is the right thing to do so the only way you can control yourself is by completely avoiding him even though all you wanted to do was jump into his arms.

"ok so, i'll just show you the roast i'd come up with so i wouldn't step on any boundaries." he said hesitantly. there he is. the version of spencer you've grown to miss. his gentleness and sincerity.

"you don't have to do that, spence." you closed your notepad and looked him in the eye. "i trust you." a mistake. the moment their eyes met once more there was something electric about it. something magnetic. something that's making you regret every choice you have ever made.

she stood because she knows damn well she can't trust herself around him. especially, now that there are only the two of them in the room. just like that she's gone before he could even bid her good-bye.

the moment for the funeral roast cameand everyone's jokes made you let out a small giggle. some of them are quite harsh but nothing you could not handle.

when it was time for spencer to speak you felt stiff. like you couldn't move, like you're actually dead.

‎"hi, i'm spencer. most you probably did not know this but, she used to be my lover." the crowd erupted in overly exaggerated gasps. "as a former partner slash coworker i've noticed how good she is at multitasking– like how she juggled causing me constant headache and being at disassociated in every meeting at the same time. " although spencer was hesitant with dissing you the moment he saw your checks and lips genuinely twitch upwards. he felt a relief and a sign for him to continue. "it’s wild working next to you every day… reminds me of all the good times, and also why i keep antacids in my drawer.

‎"they say that after break-up you realize how your ex really isn't all that." this comment turned your lips into an o shape. "y/n looked as beautiful as ever 'til the day that she left us. too bad, looks can't fix communication issues." the crowd laughed and clapped and so did you.

‎after that you had to pretend to be possessed for your comeback everyone laughed at the jokes but the moment you have been dreading for is now happening. when it was finally spencer's turn you noticed how nobody said anything. it was as if everyone wants to hear whatever you want to say very clearly.

‎"to spencer, i would like to thank you. our relationship taught me so much. it taught me patience, humility and how to pretend to care about stupid videogames." the crowd bursted in fits of laughter. angela is being held by amanda and chance so that she would not fall, shayne stood up with his hand on the sides of his head, even ian broke character as he was playing my mother.

‎ "i must say, spencer is someone who's really hard to forget. i mean i have to see him everytime i look up my laptop. but, therapy helps though." your eyes caught his, he was carrying his admiring like eyes that has all it's attention towards you. "but to end it all, i must admit that spencer never failed to make me feel special." a genuine smile crept his face. "it was as if common sense is not for everyone." the crowd of your funeral erupted in laughter and claps.

‎right after the cut everyone dispersed out of the set, some still laughing and bringing up jokes mentioned earlier.

after work the exhaustion struck you like a whip. also the fact that you have to commute on your way home added since chance forgot to inform you earlier that he will take an early out for the day. so now you're stuck at the entrance of the smosh building placing an uber.

like a real rom-com scene, spencer stopped infront of you. "i'll take you home. please let me." he said with his pleading eyes that he knows damn well you have a hard time saying no to. after the roast earlier that day you felt like you can finally be comfortable with him again so instead of denying his request you hopped in.

there was an awkward silence in the car and you both are dying to disrupt it. "thank you for this spencer. you really didn't have to."

there was a long silence after that interaction. this time it didn't feel heavy. it felt light and comfortable. that's probably why you fell asleep as he drove you home.

a few minutes have passed since the car reached your home. spencer couldn't get himself to wake you. so instead he just stared. even though there are strays of hair on your face, it could not hide your beauty from spencer's eyes. it's probably because you face have been long engraved in his mind.

[yoru-no-seiiki]

Shit, I just saw you had different accounts for different genres and I already requested on your main non smut(??) account😭😭 Okay, okay, I have a new totally original idea. What about.. male pervert yandere enemy x gn or female reader? Like enemies to lovers but one is only in on it because of their masochistic tendencies and they just love being dominated. And please add nsfw of him jerking off, finding her sweaty (sweet) gym tshirt and it being mentioned that he has, I don't know, JERKED OFF TO THEM IN FUCKING CLASS. (The oneshot could be in class👀👀)

- I'm 🙈 anon from your main account, you don't have to complete both of the requests, either one I know would make me cum, but please I'm so desperate for cocky ass bakugo katsuki like bitch guys who are so submissive and vulnerable on the inside IM BEGGING YOU.. omg, now I'm like them, fuck.

This got me pissing my pants ngl- but aaaaa yess. This came at a perfect timing! (long story short i got sum good news from my scholarship stuff in Ateneo) Your audience with me has been approved.

(also I don’t think I received your other request unfortunately uhu)

YANDERE! PERVERTED! RIVAL OC x GN! READER

tw/cw: dddne, yandere themes, male masturbation, semi-public masturbation, yun’s trauma with enrollment procedures.

MINORS/AGELESS DNI OR I WILL BLOCK YOU.

University was hell before it even started. Due to complications with your scholarship, you and your parents had to repeatedly go out to get a whole bunch of documents in searing summer heat to ensure you kept the damn thing from falling through.

It was safe to say, you weren’t going to just take all that for granted.

You wanted to be the best student in the history of the institution, no — the whole country. Anything less than perfect would tarnish the effort your family has put into you.

But a certain Ricardo Peralta was making that oh so difficult for you.

Not only was he already a member of the student council and potential president for the following years, he was oh so disgustingly well-rounded and rich. You thought you were a try-hard? Well think again. Ricardo had you beat in many aspects.

But not all of them.

You are a people person by heart. Charismatic, and sociable. You knew how to mingle, how to get a person wrapped around your fingers. Ricardo may have the vantage point with connections now but in the future? It wouldn’t be long before everyone will turn to you instead.

And so began your petty rivalry.

It was subtle at first. Smirking at the one who got a lower score. Congratulating the other for winning second place while having a golden medal dangling from their neck. Scoffing at their rival for having a life outside academics ( pfft imagine having good time management? The two of you can never! )

And then it steadily degenerated into full blown petty fights. Violence at times. Anything aside from murdering each-other was free rein and even then there were days you two took that sort of route. It was mostly you though. For some reason, his parents were quite fond of you and would always let you into their mansion. This gave you plenty of opportunities to drug his ass.

You didn’t know it was because of a deal his parents made with yours to give him access to your room.

Ricardo studied you harder than the academics he worshipped his entire life. He knew you far longer than you did him. You were the reason he strove so much to be perfect. The only reason he wanted to be perfect was for you.

He knew your parents would never think to pay for the outrageous fees the University you (and by extension him) wanted to go to, so he made his parents start a scholarship program for gifted students (Anything to make their son happy). You were already guaranteed to get in from the beginning, and he felt bad for having made you panic from the strings he had to pull so that you’d always have the same classes/schedules.

So he let you win some of the little games you two had. In any case, nothing beats the reward of your smile. And the smug smirk you’d give him as you loomed over the desk, your chest almost resting on his face.

He shook his head, he can save those thought for after he stole another set of used underwear.

He usually came to your locker after P.E. it was when your scent wouldn’t be covered by whatever you sprayed on yourself. Don’t get him wrong, Ricardo was a germaphobe and a half but those cheap perfumes and deodorants you slathered all over yourself so you wouldn’t smell half bad after your exercises couldn’t compare to the scent of your body.

In anycase, today Ricardo got greedy. Impatient. Something his parents were sure to have reprimanded him on. But he couldn’t help it. Could you really blame him? It suddenly started raining out in the field. The way the water made your shirt cling unto your clothes practically made you irresistible.

“Ngh . . . [Y/N]. J-just like that . . . use me . . .” Tears formed at the corner of his eyes as he mumbled in pleasure. If you just walked a little more, perhaps leaned your head around the corner. . . god, he could imagine the disdain on your face. The utter disgust you’d show him.

It didn’t help that you were slandering him just a few feet away.

“That piece of shit, Ricardo. He totally fucking cheated.” You cursed, so unlike your usual polite tone with your fellow batch-mates and the faculty. He hears a resounding thud right after wards.

The movement around his shaft only gets faster. His grip tighter, harsher, as he imagines the way you’d abuse his cock. If he added any more force he’d probably tear himself apart. The thought of disappointing you is the one thing keeping him from harming himself.

His hand only ever stuttered due to the sound of your friend’s voice, ear piercing and grotesque as it is in contrast to yours, “Aray! Nadamay pa talaga yung mukha ko-“

“Shut the fuck up!” You angrily replied, this time slamming the locker behind Ricardo, making him moan stumble forward a little.

“I’ll fucking kill him.”

Streams of white leave the tip of his cock, your threat shoving him off the ledge of pleasure. Your rain and sweat covered shirt now drenched with another type of liquid.

[Notes]:

Aray! Nadamay pa talaga yung mukha ko — Ouch! You really just brought my face into the fray.

[claraswritings]

Can I Be The One?

Summary: Luca is your childhood friend who has fallen in love with you. Carmy meets you through him and falls for you too Vignettes throughout the years knowing them.

Pairing: Chef Luca x female!Reader / Carmen Berzatto x female!Reader- I have never done this before. There’s TWO ENDINGS so you can pick whichever hot chef boyfriend you want.

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, negative inner monologue, allusions to a panic attack, language, slow burn (sort of…it’s a fic which spans years), Google translate used, short smut in both endings, friends to lovers.

Notes:

1. In 2.04 in Luca’s kitchen there’s a handwritten sign that says “Jeg elsker dig” which is I love you according to Google translate 😭. So I wrote that into the Luca ending because who wrote that to him. WHO?who?WHO?WHO?… It was you if you want it to be.

2. I am so up for expanding both of these CHOOSE timelines. If anyone has any ideas for blurbs or just wants to chat pop up.

———————————————————————————

LUCA

PARIS

After some years of Luca working in London restaurants and climbing the ladder, he’d built his skills up at a rapid pace impressing just about everyone, including himself with how good he was. You’d been there for him like you promised through it all, his first successful promotion where he was tasked with coming up with a new dessert. You’d brainstorm with him and hold plates steady whilst he practiced assembly. You were there his countless attempts at spun sugar that you wound up having to pick out of his hair. The day he’d perfected his technique on that had been a relief, both for Luca and you but a sad day for the fine tooth comb industry. Seeing him flourish and be successful made you so happy. People were finally seeing Luca as you saw him. Talented, patient, dedicated and hardworking. Finally, he had something he loved that he could put all of his pent up energy into.

Every time he was offered the chance to a new place, he’d asked you to come with him and every time it had been an easy decision.

Given that you’d studied languages and spoke several, you’d agree with a joke that you’d be his unofficial translator in exchange for being his taste tester. It was easy for you to get freelance work wherever you went so it became you and Luca, travelling the world together.

Only a few weeks ago he’d asked you to come to Paris with him so he could learn new pastry techniques over there and stage at a restaurant, you’d once again agreed knowing you’d be able to pick up some translation work online.

“He speaks French and English by the way.” You said as you made your way back to the Paris Air BnB you’d been staying in over the past month. “He was fucking with the staff.” You continued, referring to the government official who allegedly spoke no English or French.

“I don’t think government officials ‘mess with’ people.” Luca looked down at you and pulled a face, “He was pretty old”

On this particular night he’d called you saying there was a restaurant emergency, a government official had requested off-menu, however when said official arrived, he stared blankly at any attempts to communicate in French or English.

“Don’t they?” You said, “I hate to break it to you but I think that is pretty much the byline of their job description.”

“I think…I think he was just being a dickhead.”

“Also in their job description, darling.” you whistled lowly, laughing as you looked up at him.

The way you called him that. It felt sweet, personable and rolled off the tongue and he suddenly felt it heavy in the Paris summer. Did it feel as loaded to him as it did to you? Probably not. You were so friendly and personable to everyone. Luca shook his head and tried not to make it obvious.

Of course he’d thought about you like that. It had started in fleeting moments.

The first day of his first kitchen job, or several years ago when he went to your university graduation and you’d held his arm as you walked across the grass to have photos taken, or last year you’d stopped in to see him, KFC bucket in hand after your relationship ended (Luca hated the guy anyway), or last month you’d tried 20 different variations of the same caramelized banana dessert he’d made even if you never were overly keen on banana because he’d really, really wanted to impress this celebrity chef that was coming into where he was working as sous chef.

It had become more frequent over the years with a hundred other times in between until he couldn’t remember when it had become harder and harder to put it down to a fleeting thought and closer to ‘I think I might be in love with my best friend’

“You’re messing with me aren’t you?” Luca asked, cocking his head to the side.

“He seemed to understand when I dropped it towards the end of the meal and thanked him sounding like this.” You gestured at yourself “So I’m going to go with…no, he understood…”

“Fucking hell” Luca let out low exhale and then laughed. “Hey…thanks again for helping, the CDC has offered you a free meal.”

“Why do you think I came down.” You joked. “Well that and I like hearing about what you’re making” you added on sincerely.

“You like me being a nerd about desserts?” Luca cocked his head, a slightly teasing tone in his voice

“Yeah but I like it. It’s actually really interesting you talking about your technique” You replied back “it’s like vocal food porn or something”

“Nah,” He laughed loudly at your description and elbowed you jokingly in the sides. “You just have a sweet tooth. I can promise you most people are not that interested.”

“Pfft their loss.…” You looped your arm through his and continued “You know I’m so proud of you, Luca, how much energy and love you put into this. It’s so cool. You’ve improved so much since your first dish and you just keep getting better.”

You were there in the restaurant for the first time a dish he’d fully made himself was served in the London restaurant he’d started at. Thai green curried pineapple. It had gone out first to the table next to you and you’d watched the woman keenly, waiting for her reaction. She’d loved it , of course she had, it was made by Luca. It was an open kitchen so you’d shot him a subtle thumbs up when you caught him staring through, fingers drumming over his mouth, nervous, hoping to alleviate his nerves. You’d proceeded to rave about the dish and her reaction, in detail, to him, all the way home, so excitedly, that you were sure half of the tube heard you. Your pride in him calmed his nerves, put him at ease, not just because you were his supportive best friend, but because it would be impossible to fake your enthusiasm.

Luca turned his head, not wanting to meet your eye for fear he’d run his mouth off ‘Couldn’t do it without you, thank you for always being there for me through it all, by the way I think I might have fallen in love with you’

“Thanks… not just for that, I mean for everything…” he stopped and mentally chastised himself for acting so awkward “How are you finding it?” He asked instead “I ask a lot of you, I know”

“Luca. I get to travel the world with my best friend, working from beautiful locations, whilst he lives his dream. It’s incredible.”

You were looking up at him, smiling, clearly ecstatically happy . And why wouldn’t you be. In a beautiful city with your best friend.

He knew he was your best friend but hearing you call him that felt weird. ‘You ARE her best friend, you’re not her boyfriend. Did you forget? Can master passionfruit macarons in a day but can’t understand that?

“Oh…by the way…I got you something.”

Your voice pulled him from his thoughts as you paused on the middle of the path and opened your bag with your free hand and passed him a napkin and written on it was a phrase in French.

“Still keeping up with that tradition?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah I might be.” You teased back. “Don’t pretend I don’t know you love them!”

Luca of course loved the little tradition you’d started and had to fight back the grin that was threatening to break out on his face but he couldn’t.

You’d leave him a message written in the language of wherever he was working at the time. ‘Good luck’ on a napkin for his first role in London, There was one from a trip of Venice (‘You’re the best <3’- sei il migliore), and another from Seville (‘You’ve got this <3’ - tienes esto) and one from Rotterdam (‘I believe in you <3’ - ik geloof in jou). They’d made their way into books, notes from each place he’d visited, pressed between pages as memories.

The newest one in French was ‘I am so proud of you’ - je suis si fier de toi <3

He would keep it with him tucked into a pocket until you left Paris for Chicago and he’d move it into a notebook alongside a step by step for Canelés, a photo of the first time he’d made a Paris-Brest and tickets from your first visit to the Louvre and one of you he’d taken, candid, looking up at the sparkling Eiffel Tower.

———————————————————————————

BOTH

CHICAGO

All you had heard about since Luca had started working at Ever, a 3 star Chicago restaurant, was this other chef.

Every day. All day.

He’d come home to you sounding off. ‘Carmen did this better than me, Carmen is quicker than me, Carmen pitted two bags of peas when everyone else had only pitted half of one,’

You knew Luca wasn’t used to being second best and you knew it was getting to him. He’d been the best everywhere he’d been, except now.

Luca would stay up later and later in an attempt to get better, sometimes only sleeping for an hour. It was as if he felt like all his hard work would be for nothing and he’d be back as the guy who barely passed his exams and got in trouble all the time. You’d wake up, go to the kitchen for breakfast and find Luca had been up for three hours practicing folding dough or picking seeds out of strawberries or whatever the head chef had them doing the day before.

You were growing concerned, you knew why it was bothering him and had voiced to him several times to varying results that there was nothing wrong with being second best sous chef at a Michelin star restaurant. This other guys ability didn’t make him less.

After listening to Luca explain that Carmen managed to get the layering of butter and dough just perfect for croissants and had made two dozen whilst everyone else was still on their first and how he could brown a baked alaska in 15 seconds without the ice cream melting, you’d suggested that maybe he should become friends with him.

“Why don’t you ask him how he does it?” You asked him “Maybe he’d be happy to share?”

“What?”

Luca looked in thought for a moment, as if he was only just clicking this was an option, considering it before you continued.

“I’m worried about how hard you’re pushing yourself, bit of competition is fine but you’ll wear yourself out at this rate…Plus maybe there’s something you can show him that he might need to know”

He knew you were right. You usually were. Typical of you to be able to rationalise his thoughts within minutes. Of course you’d suggest he becomes friends with Carmen, why wouldn’t you... ‘You know me too well, you’re good at knowing what I need to hear.’

***

You hadn’t expected Luca to literally show up with Carmen the next day.

And the next, and the next and the next.

If you were honest, you didn’t know what you were expecting from this guy Luca had ranted about for weeks but you’d gotten on with him far more than you expected. Carmen had been shy at first but as you spent more time with him, you’d grown to liked his quiet humour and how remarkably observant he was. He instantly noticed your jeans as vintage Levi 501s, the only type of jean you’d worn since you could remember and eventually he’d become friends with both of you.

Carmen had taken a liking to you, surprising even himself. You were warm, friendly, and outgoing. You had this incredible ability to make absolutely anyone feel like the only person in the room.

Like when he or Luca broke down the process of making the dish they’d made, you’d be looking like it was describing the most interesting story you’d heard.

Questions like ‘so how do you curl the red pepper tuiles? Is that with a knife or am I a total idiot?’ and ‘is it always a green apple in the sugar dome?’ and ‘how do you know when the yuzu jelly is done?’ Even the things you’d say like ‘Can you make Le Tendance with white chocolate or does it have to be dark’

Carmy knew you probably didn’t know the difference between the different types of pans he mentioned or why it mattered. There was no stake in the debate he and Luca had been having over compressed watermelon sorbet for you. But you cared. You always cared.

It was endearing and made him feel appreciated, kept him passionate about cooking even after a long day so he warmed to you, like you’d inadvertently got a part of him, given him a quiet understanding and support, he desperately craved but thought he’d never get.

He was achingly jealous of Luca and your unwavering love and support. It was evident from how you’d gush supportively over Luca perfecting edible flowers or lychee creme or whatever. Carmy desperately craved more of the warmth and love you gave so freely.

****

“Here.”

Carmy pushed a plate of spaghetti gratin towards you. “uh, try it, lemme know what you think. Something I’ve…erm, been..working on.”

“For me?” You grinned excitedly, not even waiting for him to nod before picked up your fork and helped yourself to some, slipping it past your lips.

“Holy fuck” you moaned as the taste hit you. “That’s amazing, Carmy, so good…”

“Better than that one in Mayfair?” Luca asked, from beside you, with a small smile. Your eyes met his and you nodded causing him to smirk. “Told you it was good, man” he said to Carmy patting him on the shoulder “this guys good at everything!”

“Oh god yeah” you took another bite “Fuck me this is…wow.”

“See…” Luca nodded encouragly “And thats high praise from her. She loves that place!”

“Wha’ one in Mayfair?” Carmy turned to you, curious. He hadn’t been but he knew there was a large list of fine dining places there and was keen to know what, or rather, who you had to compare his against.

“Murano. My family used to have dinner there once a week” you explained “…it’s an incredible restaurant. It does the best spaghetti gratin I’ve ever had…” you dug your fork in again and helped yourself to more, pausing as you did “Well… until this one. Have you been to London? We should all go.”

You were effortlessly likeable, funny. Colourful flowers and feathers snaking their way up your arm, a little silver nose ring, vintage jeans and leather jackets. ‘Of course handsome Luca would have a cool girlfriend like you.’

“You two married long or…” Carmy had asked before he could stop himself and immediately winced at how he’d just blurted it out, kicking himself internally.

Beside him, Luca attempted to cover up his surprised expression as quickly as possible and wondered if it was noticeable how he tensed. Did Carmy have a thing for you? What would you say? Obviously she’s going to say you’re not together because guess what? You’re not. Just because you’ve deluded yourself into thinking she’s your girl doesn’t mean she is. Don’t fuck up the one consistent relationship you’ve had in your life.

“Oh…we’re not, we’re not married, he’s my best friend.” You said off hand as you pulled the fork from your mouth, slowly.

“Oh…I tho…” Carmy stopped himself as he caught Luca’s eye. Did he know?

The pair of them held the silence for a few seconds, each wondering if the other was as into you as they were. Luca moved first, dropping his hand from where it was resting over his lips, as if he meant to speak but you beat him to it

“Can I eat all of this?” You pointed at the dish with your fork.

And like that the moment was gone. You’d changed the subject, completely unaware of the tension in the air.

Carmy nodded. He liked that you always wanted another taste. In the kitchen, taste tests were usually quick, a bite to give some feedback and then on to the next. Here in the kitchen of a rental you’d got a short lease on was different.

The need you had for more of what he served gave him more confidence, reassured him. It somehow felt more rewarding than a colleague having a test only to say ‘Perfect, chef. Thanks’.

And Against all odds and all expectations, he’d found himself also wanting more.

———————————————————————————

CARMY

LONDON

You’d left Chicago with Luca after a few months to move to Copenhagen but had promised to keep in touch. From when you arrived, you’d been raving about it to him. How beautiful it was, how relaxed you felt there, so when he’d been offered the chance to go over to Noma and work, he’d been all too happy to go..

Carmy had scheduled his flights so he’d have a few days in London before his flight to Copenhagen, mostly to try the places you’d recommended. He’d reached out to ask for the details and it had just so happened you’d been in town for a friends wedding. You’d offered to come meet you the day after, he’d agreed in a second, happy for the opportunity to spend time with you.

****

Markets sprawled across different corners of the city, each with their own individual personality and you seemed to know them like the back of your hand. He’d let you lead, and it was the fourth one you’d been to with him today and at each one you’d insisted on buying from numerous stalls and making him try a variety of things of varying quality as well as buying yourself a pin that went straight onto the denim jacket you had slung loosely over your shoulders.

“Sometimes it’s good, sometimes less so, you know” you hooked your legs over the bench you’d managed to get to before a large group of school kids. “I know it’s not fancy but I just love the markets. All of ‘em”

“I can get not fancy,” Carmen laughed, something he noticed he did more often around you. It had become almost alien to smile or enjoy himself but with you it came naturally “I don’t really cook for myself all tha’ much” He helped himself to some of your bang-bang noodles and twisted them around with his chopsticks “it’s comfort food. I get it,”

“Yeah I bet…Come home after cooking all day, you probably just want something you can put in the microwave.”

“Sometimes not even that So a week ago? Had leftover pizza and I’m talkin’ anymore leftover and I think it woulda just been gone off pizza. Didn’t even re-heat it”

“I don’t know if that’s gross or impressive!” You laughed and it made Carmy smile, he loved it that he could draw that reaction from you and loved that he smiled, really smiled, with you. He couldn’t remember the last time he could be like that around someone.

You paused for a minute, taking a drink from your can of Diet Coke before you spoke again.

“Reservations at eight by the way. I don’t know if it’ll compare but I wanted you to try it.”

“Reservation?” Carmy tilted his head, wondering if he’d forgotten something.

“Yeah.” You nodded giving him a wide grin “it’s a great restaurant in the Shard. You don’t think I’d take a chef to London and not try somewhere did you?”

****

That evening he found himself in a navy dress shirt he’d bought that same day sitting across from you. You’d changed into a little black dress, a small cardigan that was over your shoulders, sliding slightly down and he could see a pink peony on your shoulder.

If he was honest, he half been expecting Luca to show up but when you’d approached the maitre d, he’d greeted you by name and said ‘table for two’ and Carmy had silently breathed a sigh of relief and then instantly felt guilty over it.

Luca was a nice guy. Carmy sometimes wished he was a raging asshole so it would be easier to put his jealousy of him down to that and not his proximity and closeness to you.

****

The waiter just had cleared away one of the other countless courses, a sous vide duck, that was as expected; delicious, even if he’d have opted for a different garnish.

“Navy really suits you, Carmy. You should wear it more often...”

‘Done’ he thought to himself.

“Thanks, I mean you, uh, you look nice too,”

You smiled at him but before you could respond, the waiter was at your table again, with a further course. Steamed chocolate sponge, baked white chocolate and sugar snap salad, the first of a few desserts.

“Wow” you muttered and you pointed at the plate “this looks so good…” you watched him take a bite and nod approvingly before you asked “Is it weird being on this side of the wall? Doing the eating and not the cooking?”

“A little…uh, I guess it’s not often that m’not worrying about everything being perfect,” Carmy grimaced and ran a hand through his hair “I feel tuned into their kitchen even though I’ve never been in it. Is that weird?” His hand rested over his chin waiting for you to respond.

You shook your head “No… No I don’t think so…” you dropped your voice and leant in closer. He could smell your perfume, your shampoo and soap from your skin. “if so, it’s also weird that I can’t switch off the translating and have been evasdropping on that German couple,” you looked to your right with your eyes

Is this what you did with Luca? Go travel and visit places with him and try new foods and laugh?

A mix between jealousy and confusion crossed his mind as the thought occurred and he found himself wondering how Luca could not make a fucking move.

Is he crazy or does he have the willpower of a fucking saint. The question rang in Carmens mind before ‘You’re not making a move either,’ he told himself internally ‘being jealous of her friend, being jealous of a guy she’s known since she was a kid. She’s not into you. She does not want you, fucko. She could do better than you. You can’t compete, she’s not going to want you. You just wish you’d had her all this time like Luca has don’t you, would you have been as fucked in the head if you’d had her supporting you all this time?

“Carmy?” You asked with a raised eyebrow. “You kinda went somewhere there? You good”

“Uh, yeah, imma just go for a quick smoke..” he began to stand up and excused himself as he did

“There’s no terrace, you’ll have to go to ground, you want me to come with?” You made a move to put down your fork, to go with him. You looked a little concerned like you weren’t 100% buying that it was a nicotine craving driving the need for air.

“No no, you stay here, jus’ need to…” he waved and headed out pressing the button to take him to the ground level.

Once Carmy was outside, he ignored the request for smokers not to loiter too close to the building and lit up, taking a drag and letting the nicotine hit, leaning back against one of the pillars.

‘I am so fucked’

———————————————————————————

BOTH

COPENHAGEN

“So the cat…?” Carmy started to ask

He’d been in the city a week, deciding he’d work in Copenhagen for a while before heading to New York, and had been staying on a houseboat that apparently had a cat. Despite the note asking him to leave water out for the cat. The water never moved and there was no cat ever there.

You and Luca shared a look and started laughing.

“We lived on this boat until recently. Six months and I never saw that cat once. Bowl never moved.” you said “My theory is that the cat died and they still leave water out for it, Luca’s convinced it was a stray. He still changed the water every day, which was pretty sweet of him…”

Luca tilted his head a little. You’d thought it was sweet? Him looking after some imaginary cat? Maybe he should get a real one and wondered if he should mention it to you. ‘Bit coupley isn’t it, getting a cat? Get a cat so she thinks it’s cute and sees you with the cat and…you still won’t tell her you’re in love with her will you’ Luca told himself internally. He couldn’t stop picturing it though and noted it down as a maybe for the future idea.

****

“Tell Carmy about that Home Economics class you had!” Luca took a sip of his drink as the three of you sat at the table of the houseboat, sharing a few drinks one evening.

“Oh!” You perked up putting down your own as you sat up on your seat “this is so funny! We had this teacher, who set us task to bring in a a lunch you made at home, now I totally forgot because I had my French mock exam that morning…so of course I had to think fast so I didn’t get detention!”

You paused for dramatic effect. Luca biting back a laugh knowing what was coming. “Still can’t believe you got away with that.” He shook his head.

“I went to KFC on my lunch and got the strips and two sides, the corn and the salad, I spent the rest of my lunch, deconstructing it… if you will..” you gestured dramatically “so cutting up the chicken, peeling the skin off, eating some of it, shelling the corn with a blunt compass,” you emphasised, thinking your skill was impressive, “and mixing it into the salad and pretended I’d made a chicken salad.”

“She got a fucking A as well,” Luca commented as Carmy laughed at your ridiculous improvisation. “Don’t know how, but apparently Mrs Kennedy had never had a KFC before!”

“You might have if you weren’t skiving.” You raised your eyebrows. “Forever bunking this one” you pointed at him but you were smiling fondly as you did.

“Hey, You skived sometimes too. I remember you skived off PE to go to that game with me!” Luca joked back, playfully poking you in the side

“Yeah went all that way, sat with your fans and we lost”

Your pout drew a smile from Luca who knew you supported his teams rival, before you continued “and that goal was still not offside!” you emphasised.

Luca began to insist that it was, with a playful grin, knowing he was winding you up at how aggrieved you were over a game that was well over decade old.

Carmy forced a smile at the back and forth between you and Luca, taking another sip of his own drink, hoping the coolness would quell the feeling inside.

He hated it that it bothered him that you and Luca had all these shared memories, that the only time you ever bickered was over your rival teams and even then it was teasing, that Luca had known all these different versions of you, that he probably would always have that shared bond with you.

You and Luca were now bantering back and forth in a playful way that made his chest hurt so he stood up and made his way to the kitchen and began shuffling through the drawers until he found something wedged between two of them.

“What the hell is this ?” Carmy couldn’t help himself as he pulled out the cheese knife. There is no way this was one of Luca’s that he’d left when he’d lived on the boat, meaning it had to be…

“Oh my god my knife!” You perked up, abandoning your spot at the table “I’d wondered that was!”

Your cheese knife.

Your old, falling apart, slightly…okay very, blunt cheese knife.

Luca had tried on multiple occasions to persuade you to get a new one but you’d insisted you liked your old one and trusted it. Until it disappeared when you moved off the houseboat and you assumed you’d accidentally knocked it into the water or something.

“Not that knife” Luca groaned as his eyes shot over to the black handled knife Carmy held. “I was hoping you’d lost that for good” he grinned half jokingly “but it just keeps coming back”

“It’s a knife, Luca, not a haunted doll!” You laughed “I must have just left it here before we moved!”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if it was haunted.” It was his turn to pull a face, first at you then at Carmy.

“Hey I got this knife my first year of University and…” you attempted to protest

“Yeah I can tell..” Carmy spoke, giving you a pointed look. “It’s falling apart!”

“It never failed me.” You continued ignoring both of them at this point “when I wanted a late night block of cheese it was there…”

“You coulda got a professional one or anythin’ that’s not some cheap whole sale crap”

“Actually, it was from Ikea.”

The shared expression of horror between the two men was enough for you to crack up and concede, knowing you could not defend your knife to one chef, let alone two.

“Okay” you threw your hands up “Fine… but how about we leave it here, on this boat…to…”

“Fuckin’ mentally scar any chef that might be put up here in the future?” Carmy added with a laugh and was only met with a swift side eye from you, followed by a sly smirk suggesting you knew he and Luca had convinced you.

****

“What’s the note say?” Carmy asked nodding at a piece of paper glued to the front of Luca’s first Copenhagen notebook. He’d taken it out to read over some notes, prepare himself and prep.

He knew it was likely in Danish but it didn’t look like one of the common phrases he’d tried, to little avail, to practice. It looked a bit like your writing, but he couldn’t be sure.

Luca felt a flood of warmth at the chance to talk about it.

“So it’s this little tradition we do, she writes me these sentences in whatever language of the country we’re staying in. They’re usually like, ‘Well done’ or ‘you’re the best’ or something.” he enthused

“Oh.” Was all Carmy could manage at first. The jealousy sat in his stomach in a way he wasn’t entirely comfortable with. Carmy hated that he was jealous but he wanted you to write him cute notes, phrases he’d only half understand “Sounds…erm, sounds nice.” was all he managed before his throat went dry.

“What are you drawing anyway?” Luca nodded at the half open notebook. As his eyes flickered down to the paper, Carmy felt his stomach drop, the breeze had blown the pages past the passionfruite posset, past the wagu beef, past the shaded menu options and right to…

You

Carmy couldn’t cover it quickly enough.

Luca just looked from the paper, back to Carmy, back to you and could feel his heartbeat in his ears.

Course Carmy likes her too. And he’s better than you at everything. She’d pick him you know. Probably already has. Why did you introduce them? That would be tragic. Introducing the one woman you’re desperately in love with to her future man and never making the move yourself. Had her as your best friend, your roommate and still couldn’t tell her you wanted her. You’re a fucking idiot.

He said your name.

“You like her?” Loud enough for Carmy but not for you. Carmy didn’t answer but he didn’t close over his book. “You into her?”

After a moment, Luca sighed, and scratched his cheek and sat beside him, accepting Carmy’s silence as confirmation.

“Yeah, me too mate.” He said quietly before passing his friend a drink.

———————————————————————————

LUCA

COPENHAGEN

With Luca securing his dream job and you able to work remotely, you’d found a bigger place together in Copenhagen. The temporary houseboat to a small place to this bigger apartment now, with a large open plan kitchen and a walk in pantry for Luca to store whatever he might need when he brought work home with him. You didn’t mind as long as he let you taste it.

You’d won the coin toss and scored the room that overlooked the water. Luca hadn’t complained, you worked mostly from home so it made sense for you to have the room with a view and also he’d have conceded anyway, knowing it would make you happy.

****

As Luca entered the room, he saw you from behind, a pair of mid thigh cycle shorts on and a large oversized black t-shirt, getting something out of the fridge. It slowly dawned on him that you were wearing his t-shirt.

The t-shirt on him was tight over his broad shoulders, stopping on his hips but on you, it hung loose and ended about at the end of your thigh, owing to the big height difference between the two of you. Making it look like it was all you were wearing. He’d seen you in shorts before, of course he had but this felt different. It was his t-shirt over the shorts making his brain go haywire.

“Hey!” You turned and greeted him, smiling. “How was work? Did that 70th birthday go well?”

“You’re…you’re wearing my shirt.” was all he could manage before he felt his throat dry up. “Are you?”

‘Get a grip man what are you a fucking teenager’ he chastised himself internally. You’ve drawn attention to it, you could have just enjoyed the view a little while longer…’

“Oh shit sorry, yeah, I just, I got stuff down mine and the doorbell was ringing and yours was at the top of the clean laundry. I didn’t think it was appropriate to open the door in just my bra.” You put what you needed on the counter and moved back beginning to prepare whatever you were making. “Not the best first impression. He might have got the wrong idea…”

Luca just hummed a laugh and didn’t say anything as he tried to stop his brain wandering to you wearing his shirt in other scenarios and he had to shut his eyes. He brought his hand to his temple, and massaged, hoping he could conceal his brain betraying him as tiredness.

“It was the landlord.” You carried on “He said rents due on the 2nd, the utility room is on the 5th floor and he’d like you to get him a reservation, he likes rhubarb and pistachio sorbet” you began relaying the translation of the landlords message.

It was around a minute later he realised he hadn’t actually replied being too busy thinking about, walking over to you, lifting you onto the counter and kissing you hard, sliding down those shorts and having you just in his shirt.

“Luca? Luca, are you okay?” He snapped back to Earth realising you were looking at him “you kinda zoned out”

“Uh yeah, rent by the 5th, utilities on the 2nd” he repeats, waving his hand.

“Other way round, you dope” you laughed. “Come here and help me anyway” You wave him over to the kitchen. “I’m making something. Sorry to take work home with you but I need your expertise!”

“Branching out from the air fryer?” he raises an eyebrow and you laugh

“What! it’s quick!” You protested in defence.

He smiled in agreement “You got a point. Come on now what do you need help with?”

You nodded towards some peaches “Can you dice those whilst I fix this dough out?”

Luca agreed and began dicing but he couldn’t help his eyes, drift back you for a few moments every so often. He watched as you attempted to knead the dough but couldn’t quite get the pressure right and struggled to push down owing to the angles.

“No, like this. The angles better if you…” Luca put down the knife, peaches sliced and diced to perfection. “Here I’ll show you”

He moved around the counter and put an arm either side of you, his hands on top of yours, pressing yours moulding the dough, as you let him lead, relaxing. He began holding your hands with his so he could knead whilst showing you. He tried to resist the urge to press into you, to hold you tight against him.

“Like this, see” he said quietly and you nodded, watching his hands and yours under them as he moved effortlessly.

“Yes, chef” you jokingly quipped and Luca had to bite his lip to stop him dropping to your neck.

Perfectly common words that sounded almost flirty from your lips.

It wasn’t quite what he’d like to be doing right now but it settled something else for him. So much so that maybe it was even preferable. This almost quietly domestic, almost coupley activity.

When the dough was done, he reluctantly stepped back instantly missing the contact with you, as he watched you line the dish with the dough and peaches and slide it into the oven.

“Thanks Luca” you grinned at him.

“Anytime.” Was about all he could manage and he meant it, that two minutes set his stomach alight more than anything he could remember.

You ate it together on the small balcony later that evening and as you’d asked him how it felt to finally get everything he wanted; job as head pastry chef at a Michelin restaurant and beautiful place to call home in a gorgeous city. He had to hold himself back from saying

How can I have everything I want but I don’t have you. Not in the way I want you.

———————————————————————————

CARMY

NEW YORK

“How’s Eleven Madison Park.” You asked him. He’d started a few months ago and told you to come visit when you were next in New York. Of course you’d accepted.

Carmy hesitated, reluctant to dump his stresses out there in the open incase you thought he was overreacting. “It’s good, but erm, I mean it’s…a lot, the head chef he’s…”

“A dick?” You suggested recognising the ‘I hate my boss’ look on his face.

Carmy looked a little startled and then he let out a breathy laugh. “He’s one of the best chefs in the world…but yeah…he’s an ass…” he stopped “Yknow…just always on me…” his voice was quiet.

He felt the twitch in his leg and ran a hand over his mouth biting on his knuckle for a few seconds, trying to distract himself but all he could hear was his voice in his head.

“Carmy?” You noticed the furrow in his brow and his leg bouncing and his hands against his mouth “You ‘kay?”

It was a struggle as he rose his head, forced his eyes open and locked his wide eyed stare onto yours. You smiled gently and exhaled, gesturing for him to follow.

He did and you did this a few more times, talking him through breathing a few more times.

“I find this helps.” You lifted your fingers to your own neck where it joined with your shoulder, the clavicle just below, you pressed down in a massaging motion.

“Like this.” circling my gently “Focus on my voice”

You continued to talk to him until he held his heart rate calm and whispered out a ‘thank you’

“Glad I can help.” You noticed his gold chain “I like that.”

“Thanks I’ve had it for a while.” He smiled and adjusted it, and as he did you noticed a burn on his hand.

“Ouch.”

“Occupational hazard” he said with a wry smile. “It’s fine now, was worse a few days ago” he hummed

“Lemme get some cream for it. I see plenty of utensil related injuries. My best friend is a chef too, remember. Dont want you to make it worse…”

Of course, fucking Luca. Handsome and a nice guy. What a prick.

He was pretty silent as you’d insisted on a cream, opening it and dabbing some on before handing him the tube “There we go, good as new”

“It’s quieter with you you know” Carmy said

A laugh escaped your lips “No ones ever thought of me as quiet but I’m glad I can help.”

“I mean in my head” he joked “Luca is lucky”

You squeezed his arm gently “I’m glad I can do that for you” and he could have sworn he felt it in his chest.

———————————————————————————

LUCA

COPENHAGEN

Luca was barely able to keep the grin off his face. He’d been working on a special dessert just for you, going in early, finishing late, all to perfect this.

The thinnest wafer with a soft caramel creme scooped over centre, topped with a milk chocolate dome. It was a fine dining version of a long since discontinued chocolate bar that you’d loved and he could hear you approach the restaurant kitchen in perfect time.

“Hey! You ready to take off? Film starts in half an hour?”

“Here…I…” He carefully lifted the lid from the plate. “I made something for you!”

“Oh my god this looks amazing!” You stared putting down your bag, as Luca prodded the pouring chocolate towards you. You picked it up and he watched your face completely light up as you poured to reveal the concoction under it.

“Wow…this is so cool!…wait…Is this…” Your eyes lit up when you clocked what had inspired the assembled plate in front of you. “No way! Luca, how did you do this?”

His hands ran through his waves a few times and he crossed muscular arms over his large chest.

“I made it.” He said as if it was a love confession “for you.”

“Oh my god. Okay, I’m going to need you to walk me through it!? This has to be my favourite thing you’ve ever made and I haven’t even tried it yet! What even made you think of this? this is so cool”

Luca grinned and it was the same wicked smile he used to give you when you were younger and he was up to something.

‘Because I love you and you miss it and you look for it in every food store in every country we go to. You think I don’t see you looking but I do. If they won’t bring it back and make you happy, I’ll bring it back for you. Sorry it took so long. I wanted it to be perfect because you’re perfect. I love you’

“You wanna know how I made it?”

Luca gave you that look. He loved it when you asked about his process, you always did but this, the chance to gush about how he created something for you? He could do this all day.

“Course I do!” You spooned a large amount into your mouth and couldn’t stop the sound that escaped your mouth. “Fuck, this is insane. It’s perfect, Luca, oh my god”

“So to get the wafers right, you have to make sure it’s smooth wheat flour, see.” he used a fork to point at the rippled wafer in the dessert, pointing out the waves he’d folded the wafer into. “And I had to match the water at exactly the right about, increase or decrease based on the soaking characteristics of the flour. Took me a couple of gos…to get it exactly like it used to be…first couple it was too dense, the consistency was all off, after that it wasn’t thick enough and would break when I tried to roll it.”

You were looking at him like you were interested as you helped yourself to more.

“And you’re going off memory? For the consistency?” It was impressive being that the bar had been discontinued for about ten years.

Luca nodded, spurred on by how impressed you sounded “yeah I remember them. Super soft, so thin, folded over but with space between each wave…have to do it perfectly or it breaks when you roll it. It’s got to be feather soft.”

“You are such a nerd.” You said, but your eyes were soft and you were smiling at him softly “Go on…” you prompted

He shot a glance up to see you watching as if you couldn’t take your eyes off him, hanging on every word, he often worried he was being a geek or boring when he did this but you looked so engaged.

Luca was grateful you followed that with “how did you make the rest” because if you hadn’t the ‘it’s no problem, I’d give you anything. I love you so much I created this because you miss it.’ was sitting at the back of his throat.’

“The creme caramel was a little bit trickier than your standard, see it’s not got the regular consistency, it’s more dense and it’s closer to a creme than actual caramel.” He took a small scoop with a teaspoon and smeared it across an edge of a plate so you could see it spread thinly, smooth and creamy. “It’s all in the texture. The chocolate is all about the tempering… I wanted the dome to reveal it perfectly no matter where you started your pour, so I made twenty batches and practised so the chocolate would melt and reveal like a curtain pull back rather than just caving in… hold on,”

He got up, left the table and came back with two batches of domes and demonstrated for you, showing you on how the remaining earlier batches, it caved in but on the newer batches the melt was almost like a gravity defying curtain pull up.

Engrossed you watched like it was a magic trick.

“Luca this is…one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.” You said softly “Thank you so much.”

“Does it taste like it did?” He asked the important question.

“You know.” You tapped the fork off the plate “Usually whenever they bring something back, it’s never as good. This…” you ate some more “is so incredible. It’s better. You are a genius! Who else can make desserts based on discontinued chocolate bars from memory alone! You’re so talented Luca, no one deserves this more than you.”

“I wouldn’t be where I am without you, you believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself”

“It’s easy to believe in you when you’re so clearly talented. Is this going on the menu?”

Luca nodded his head “It was meant to be just for you but I think I might…but I’ll still make it for you anytime you ever want it, maybe I’ll call it ‘The [Name]’,”

The smile you gave him was one he’d have given anything to see forever.

———————————————————————————

CARMY

NEW YORK

“Are you fucking kidding me? You think by the time the flight takes off and lands it’d be defrosted.”

You were staring at the departure board at JFK airport, your oversized luggage beside you as delayed scrolled next to your flight.

‘Attention all passengers- We regret to inform you flight DAT150846 to Copenhagen is cancelled. Please see our customer relations desk for further communications.’

“Fuck” you whistled and you started typing on your phone, no doubt sourcing alternatives.

“I mean I can get to Esbjerg from Newark but my flight won’t leave until tomorrow and there’s always the risk of the trains being cancelled so that’s one of a hell of an Uber. Which means I’ll get in…” you trailed off, as you attempted to work out the time difference.

“Further announcement to all passengers travelling on the flight AA113717 to Chicago. This flight has now been cancelled. Please see our customer relations desk for more information.

“Shit that’s your flight, Carmy, they’re both cancelled” the second announcement interrupted your counting. You locked your phone as if it was his announcement and not yours that made your mind up and looked at him.

‘Good’ he thinks back to the Christmases of past.

Subconsciously he straightens up, realising he probably should say something.

“It’s okay…I uh, don’t mind, Christmases my way can be…a lot” he shrugged and you understood.

Carmy had, in enough words for you to understand explained that his family, especially around Christmas, were in the most tactful wording; difficult. He didn’t mention them often, you knew he didn’t like taking about them but you knew enough to know it wasn’t usually a fun Christmas for him.

“This might be so weird, I know you’ve got your cousin in the city who you’re probably having dinner with but do you… maybe want to come to the air BnB I’m renting. Not expecting you to cook off the clock, we can order in?”

“Michelle left a few days ago.” He said, referring to his cousin leaving for Chicago before the storm blew in “I’d like that. That sounds…great.”

****

You’d done the best you could decorating the Air BnB. Carmy had arrived early with a take out breakfast from a deli you loved and you’d spent the morning eating.

Wanting Carmy to open his present first, you passed it over and watched him unwrap it and the realisation slowly settle

“Is this?”

You nodded “Uh-huh.”

“How did you know?” His blue eyes met yours, a curious expression on his face.

“I saw you looking. Remember a few months ago?” The way you said it is was as if it was obvious.

It was on one occasion when you’d wandered through the city together in fall. It was in the window of a vintage shop. You’d tried to talk him in to going in and trying it on.

Carmy didn’t say much for fear you’d think he was crazy or overreacting so instead passed you a gift with a “Thank you”

“Wow is this the soundtrack?” You asked as you immediately unwrapped the vinyl, slid it out, squealing when you saw the limited run pressing. It was from one of your favourite 80s movies. “This is amazing, the pressing is beautiful! Thank you.”

“Yeah I watched it….Good movie. I, um, found it in a second hand store. figured you’d…like it.” He averted his eyes from yours, shyly.

“You watched something else other than the cooking channel?” You joked in return, sensing he felt a little awkward about it and wanting to lighten the mood.

After you finished your deli breakfast, you’d go for the promised walk in the park, and Carmy wondered if in some other universe, you were doing the same thing but hand in hand rather than side by side. You walked longer than you’d planned and he found himself talking more about that Christmas. Of course you were understanding, non-judgemental and Carmy opened up to you more than he’d ever opened up to anyone; about how he chased a culinary career after Mikey refused to let him work in the family restaurant, the constant panic attacks he had over the current restaurant he worked at and the retaining of three stars that the Head Chef had still found fault with him over and about how sometimes he missed Copenhagen and longed for those days on the houseboat with an imaginary cat and as he usually did with you, he felt lighter.

When you returned back, you collapsed onto the sofa, warm despite the cold air and gestured for him to sit with you

“Put it on one of those cooking shows and tell me how you’d make it better”

You tossed him the remote.

To himself, Carmy wondered if this was the best Christmas he’d had in years, maybe in his adult life. He knew the answer already.

The next day you departed back to Copenhagen and he returned to Chicago a little lighter.

———————————————————————————

BOTH

It had been several weeks since you’d seen either of them. Luca, he was now back in Copenhagen and Carmen had left for Chicago, having inherited his brothers restaurant, following his suicide.

God, Mikey.

When it had come to it, you’d asked him if he wanted you to go to the funeral with him as support but he’d refused.

‘Don’t wanna put you through my fucking family’ he’d said. You knew it was an excuse but now was not the time to push.

He’d left for Chicago but told you three days later, he didn’t go in, expecting you to tell him he was pathetic, cruel even, but you’d asked why and then, as you always did, just listened.

****

You’d been in touch with them both over FaceTimes and texts like any other time but this felt different.

Carmy, you’d call when he was on random lunch breaks scattered through the day whenever he had the chance. By the time, his shift was over, he’d be too tired and collapse so you scheduled them as you could. You knew he was trying to work on his late brothers restaurant but knew it was shaping up to be a huge task. He’d been going to the Al-Anon meetings and had been trying but it was you who helped most even when you weren’t there.

He thought about you, when he was anxious about the restaurant, stressed about everything and when he couldn’t cope with thinking about how fucked it was that Mikey, who wouldn’t let him work in his restaurant, had fucking left it to him.

Carmy knew he had to tell you how he felt, maybe he could ask you to come out and tell you how he felt. He opened his phone, typed out a message to you and hit send and then promptly locked his phone in his locker and unsuccessfully tried not to think about it.

****

Luca you’d call at night. It reminded you of when you were both kids and you’d stay up late talking on the phone, whispering and giggling until your parents would tell you to get off the phone. You still made him laugh now as you’d relay some horrible mistranslation at work and try to make him guess what it said and what was meant.

God he missed you, every little thing about you. All he could think, despite having his dream job and living in a beautiful city was how he wanted you.

You were the one consistent relationship he had. Other people had come and gone but you’d been there since the beginning, seen him at his best, his worst and everything inbetween and he didn’t think he could have done it without you. He couldn’t lose you.

He loved you. He had always loved you.

Luca unlocked his phone, wrote a message to you and clicked it shut before the read receipt could come up.

———————————————————————————

DECISION TIME

Messages (2)

Luca - “Please come back to Copenhagen, I’m going crazy. It’s not the same without you”

Carmy - “Hey, do you maybe wanna come out to Chicago again? Wanna see you soon?”

“That the two guys that are in love with you?” Your friend said “Right on time.”

You’d just been discussing your relationship with both of them and she’d been so insistent they were both in love with you. A part of you knew but didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“Let’s see your boyfriends.” Your friend pushed

“They’re not my boyfriends” You protested.

“Okay fine. Please let me see the two men competing for you.”

“Fucking hell, they’re not competing for me” Your eyes rolled, as you chucked your unlocked phone at her. “You make it sound like I’m… Bridget Jones or Bella Swan or something”

“I mean… you kinda are, honey.” she flicked through your phone finding a picture of Luca. “Wait. THATS Luca, your school friend Luca? When did that happen?“ She zoomed in “When did he get hot? -And tall! What is he now like…6’3”?”

“Of course it’s the same Luca.” You muttered. “You think I’ve been travelling about with some other Luca?”

You paused “And Luca has always been hot.”

Youd always noticed his soft blonde hair, perfectly proportioned nose and lips and gentle eyes. He’d grown taller, grown out his hair, gotten more muscled and gotten tattoos but he’d always been cute in your eyes.

“Show me the other guy!” She said excitedly and you rolled your eyes playfully, she was like a teenager sometimes.

“Three photos down”

“Holy shit, he’s got gorgeous eyes.” She noted looking at a photo you’d taken with Carmy “imagine those big baby blues being hard to say no to…and nice arms too… I bet he could bench press you.” She comments casually and nudges you. “Okay so they’re both hot, so my plan of go for the hot one is out of the question.” She cocked her head.

“That’s not helpful. I don’t know what to do, they’re both great, amazing guys.”

“Which one do you want to bang…” she looked at you “most. Like if you could only sleep with one of them, which one.”

“Really, again, not helpful.”you rolled your eyes and shoved her.

“Okay in all seriousness, put everything out of your mind,” she shushed you before you could protest. “You know who you want, its obvious, just admit it to yourself and go be with him”

You nodded. She was right. She always was

“I need you to drive me the airport.”

———————————————————————————

Choose: LUCA

Your friend grinned at you, as you tapped your card on the machine having bought a ticket on the next flight out and watched as the airport worker wrapped a luggage tag around yours, sending your suitcase off.

“I knew it.” She shook her head “I mean I’m one for a slow burn romance you know me. “But years?”

One of her eyebrows raised “I would say text me when you land but you’ll probably be too busy…” she sighed and gave you a loaded look “God, you’re so lucky…”

“Fuck off” you gave her a shove and then pulling her back for a hug you nodded. “I’ll text you in a few days.”

You sent a text to Luca- “I know, I miss you… you’ll see me soon.” and then a picture of your passport.

****

There he was waiting for you as you arrived. You hadn’t expected it but of course he had.

You couldn’t stop yourself from running over to him and he, without care that you were at the arrivals gate, in an international airport, wrapped his arms around you, leant down, tilted your head up and gave you a long, lingering kiss that was years of ‘I love yous’, years of kisses, years of yearning, years of shared jokes and memories and years of being just you and Luca wrapped up in one kiss.

He could feel his heart beating like it might explode at any minute. He’d resolved himself to just fucking kiss you the next time he saw you. Your response to his message plus how you’d ran to him had confirmed in that very moment that he had to. And here you were, kissing him back.

“I love you.” He said against your mouth, instead of a hello, words whispered so only you could hear them. “I love you. I should have told you sooner. I love you.”

You let go of your case, moving your hand to toy with the hair at the back of his neck, standing on tip-toes to close the gap in height.

“Hi…I love you” you whispered, laughing as he placed his forehead on yours “I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

“Years, give or take,” Luca gave you an honest look that made you jokingly roll your eyes.

“I meant at the airport.”

He laughed. “Went it quick when I was trying to convince myself that I’d gotten the right idea from your text”

An eyebrow raise from you told him all he needed to know and he kissed you once again

“Definitely no wrong idea. Why do you think I got on the first flight out”

You said breathlessly against his lips before pulling him down for another kiss. His hair was ever so slightly longer, pushed back with a black hairband. He’d worn it like that the first time you’d gone to Chicago with him, he’d left the hairband in after a shift once and you’d commented on how much it suited him.

“I love you so much.” You said to him againz

Realising a large group of tourists had now begun to stare, you separated. Awkwardly he held up a hand and muttered something to them with a wave causing you to burst into laughter.

“Did you just say ‘Welcome to Copenhagen I hope you enjoy your stay’ to the nice group of tourists?”

“How did you know which flight I’d be on?” You said linking your fingers with Luca’s as he picked up your suitcase in the other arm and began walking. It felt so natural to be holding his hand after all this time.

“You always like the mid-morning flight. Remember I booked us on the six am to Venice and I thought you were going to push me out the plane”

You laughed so loudly the large group looked back around causing it to be your turn to hold your hand up in apology.

“Yeah I might have done if you weren’t carrying the passports. Now I think I’m ready for you to take me home” you leant into his side.

****

“Fucking hell.” You whispered half to him, half to yourself. “Luca, that was…”

Any worry about crossing that line was gone, it had been gone when he’d picked you up with one arm, as you entered the place you’d shared in Nyhavn. Mouths mashing together, his teeth pulling on your lip, a whisper ask of ‘are you sure’ as he slid his hand under your shirt, you answering him by sucking on his neck as he held you against him, your legs around his waist

The sudden romantic moment became funny when he’d paused in the hallway and asked “My room or yours?” but you’d never have it any other way.

Luca had been gentle at first, careful. Took his time with you. Laid you down and finished you off with his hands and his mouth, and you were back flat against the mattress, aching for him to fill you. So had reached up and cupped his face, locking your ankles at the base of his back and told him you needed him desperately, that you wouldn’t break. Luca had moaned into you at your encouragement which had only made you ache more. And after he’d let the years of want lead and take over, taking you hard and fast, giving you the best night you’d ever had and drawing another climax from you until you dropped back down on the bed back splayed and hips arched for him to finish deep inside you.

**

“I know. Been thinking about us doing that for a while now…You okay?” He linked your hand with his, without looking. He was still over you, caging you against him.

“You thought about that?” You gently played with his hair.

“All the time” he said casually. “Both that and this”

He was resting on your chest now, planting small kisses across your collarbone, gentle and loving. You felt yourself flush both at the casual sexiness of his statement followed by how sweetly he checked in.

“Luca, talking like that makes me want you again.”

Luca grinned with a sly look on his face “You can have me whenever you like.” He rubbed your hip and squeezed, a silent push to answer the ‘you okay?’

“I’m better than okay.” You ran a hand through his hair playing with the soft waves “are you?”

“Just got all I wanted.” Another kiss to your lips, slowly and sweetly. “I’m on cloud fucking nine”

“It was killing me.” He said quietly after a few moments, drawing patterns over your skin making goosebumps break out “…I know I had no right to be jealous, we weren’t together, I think to me, it felt like we were,”

A small sigh escaped his lips, the breath fluttering against your skin. He’d had a point. Looking back, it had sometimes felt like you were together.

“I saved the time difference in my phone and drove myself crazy when it was night over there…I convinced myself you two were…” he stopped.

“Luca, I promise you nothing ever happened, baby, he’s my friend…but you’re everything to me.”

He lifted his head up to look at you “Good” he said before kissing you on the lips, spare hand coming up to cup your cheek. “You’re the love of my life, you know,” he kissed you again “all this…wouldn’t be the same without you,”

“You’d still have made it…” you kissed him

“Maybe.” Luca kissed you again “but it wouldn’t be the same without you. You’ve seen me at my worst, at my best…and yet you’re still here” he whispered into your neck.

“Always gonna be here babe, it’s you and me,” you traced hands down over his chest.

“You’re the love of my life, darling. You always have been” Luca looked at you with a gaze so full of love it made your heart ache.

“And you mine” you pushed your hands into his hair and placed open mouth kisses against his mouth. “You’re so perfect Luca. So, so perfect”

*

The next morning toys wrote him a new message ‘Jeg elsker dig’ the day after which he stuck just above his work station. One you wish you’d written for him all those years ago. “I love you”

A part of you always knew you did. From when you were teenage best friends, to now, you loved him. Being with Luca now after all this time, was like finally seeing clearly.

You’d make up for all the lost time.

———————————————————————————

Choose: CARMY

You tapped to send a heart over the message Carmy had sent you, knowing he’d be eating himself up if you didn’t reply

“Miss you, Carm…I’ll see you soon I promise” You texted back, hoping he was working and it would be enough to stop him going crazy until you landed.

Your friend walked you to security and squeezed your hand. “I knew you liked him…every time you spoke about him, you got all…” she jokes “I’ve never seen you like that.” She said as she hugged you goodbye “Go get your man!”

****

You hadn’t told him you were coming, wanting to surprise him. He’d given you the address of the restaurant and now as you stood outside the door, you exhaled, taking a breath before you entered.

A pretty blonde woman smiled at you as you did

“Hi! I’m looking for Carmen Berzatto.” You said returning her polite smile

“Are you [Name?] I’m Natalie. I’m Carmy’s sister”

That surprised you “He mentioned me?”

“I got it out of him eventually. You know what he’s like” She then walked to the door leading to the kitchen and stuck her head through “Carmy. You’ve got a visitor”

“If it’s the butter delivery, jus’ sign for it, Sugar, ok?” He sounded frazzled despite it being only the morning.

“It’s not the butter delivery! It’s your girl.” She said clearly not in the mood for messing around.

There was all of a sudden a flurry of voices.

“A girl? For Carmy?” You heard a mans surprise.

“Is it the girl on his phone.” A woman asked

“Jeff’s got a girl?” another woman spoke.

“Let me see.” There was shuffling around and then another man spoke “How the fucks he done that?”

“Cousin, gimme the fuckin’ phone.” You couldn’t help but smile as you heard him, hearing him in person made your heart swell. “How’d you get my password”

“Your passwords 1111, Carmen.”

“I’d say it’s not always this chaotic…” Natalie started turning back to you “but it is.”

Before you could respond you were cut off him, your Carmy, emerging from the doorway. He looked so gorgeous.

Wavy hair that he’d clearly been running his hands through, big blue eyes, strong arms under one of those white shirts and little gold chain peeking out.

“Sugar- what is the…” Carmy stopped seeing you.

“Hi.” His face softened within a second of seeing you although the fear of rejection still lingered in his mind. Why were you here?

He turned back to shout into the kitchen “Alright…gimme, gimme like five minutes okay?” Carmy ushered his sister into the kitchen so you could speak freely

“Why didnt you call me? I’d have picked you up at the airport.” he ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry…I wanted to surprise you” you gave him a small smile “Carmy” you spoke as if you know exactly what’s on his mind “I want this…I wanna be with you, like properly be with you.” You paused “And I think you want that too”

Carmy could barely believe it, you in his restaurant, in his home city, surprising him and telling him you wanted to be with him? “Course I do.” He answered quickly “Fuck was I obvious?”

“Being that it took me this long to realise it, I don’t think so.”

“S’alright, I just feel like I’ve gone crazy” Carmen choked out a laugh, still overcome with emotion that you were here. “I thought…”

‘I thought by ‘see you soon’ you meant that in weeks or months from now, you’d visit. I thought you’d go to Luca, your gorgeous, tall, charming childhood friend in one of the most beautiful cities in the world who has it all together. Not me, the fucking colossal fuck up. Surely he’d be your first choice’

His hand ran through his hair again and came to rest over his lips, expecting you to say what was I thinking I’ve changed my mind, see ya.

You took his hand and let him link his fingers with yours, knowing he had a habit of fidgeting with his hands when he was nervous.

“Carmy, I’m serious, this is me choosing you. Over anything, anyone else”

“How the fuck do you do that.” He blinked “Sometimes I feel like…like you’re in my head, or somethin’”

He liked it, he didn’t feel like his heart was going beat out of his chest around you. He could actually breathe and think with you around. Seeing you, here, in his home city, with him…he felt at ease for once, all the worries, all the stress he carried around, felt lighter. It was like you, just by being you, could turn down the sound in his head.

“Cause I know you.” You smiled softly “And I wanna make you happy. You gonna let me make you happy babe?”

He didn’t know how to finish the sentence but with the reassurance, the knowing that you’d wanted him, that you’d chosen him, he felt a surge of confidence and he cupped your face with both hands before he dropped one to your waist holding you against him and the other moved back through your hair pulling your lips to his, connecting the two of you in a passionate, messy kiss. You could feel his taut muscles, toned and firm under his shirt and holding you tight to him easily.

He’d make his excuses and finish early. Richie absolutely revelled in making fun of him for leaving to go get some, telling him maybe it’ll make him less pissy and Sugar was just happy to see Carmy happy again, she’d worried about him but the moment he’d laid eyes on you was the first time she’d seen him smile in weeks.

****

“So fuckin’ amazing.” He said breathlessly, whispering kisses against your neck later that evening “didn’t hurt you did I?” He met your eyes instantly concerned.

“No baby, I loved it” you laughed a little, you were still straddling him, legs either side of him, catching your breath as you played with his wavy hair and planted little kisses on him. “You’re the amazing one, so good baby”

Carmy had barely been able to keep his hands off you since you arrived back at his.

He’d been straight over to you, kissing you, sliding his hands up under your shirt, like he thought you’d disappear or like he wanted to touch you as much as he could incase you changed your mind.

You’d returned his kisses with equal intensity, until you’d ended up in a tangle on the couch. both your shirts discarded and jeans half unbuttoned, with your hands half down each others, touching each other, taking turns drawing moans from the other.

“Just want you” you whispered against his ear. “Only you, Carmy”

You shifted up so had your legs either side of him straddling his waist, when you could feel him under your own heat, hard against you and ground your hips into him, telling him how much you needed him.

He couldn’t wait any longer and shuffled off his jeans and yours, pulling you down to straddle him. After a few more, rotations of your hips, you slid down on to him, biting his shoulder as he stretched you. You went slow at first, teasing him and savouring the sounds he made, with every rotation of your hips. After a few blissful moments, Carmy’s hands found your hips and after a careful look for approval from him, he began moving you up and down at a fast pace, drawing cries of pleasure from you until he came deep inside you after you’d reached your high.

****

“Don’t move yet.” He whispered quietly as if admitting the need for closeness with you would make you disappear, as his hands went to your hips, holding them flush against his own. Despite the firmness of the words, there was still some vulnerability there.

“I’m not going anywhere, you wanna stay like this we can stay like this,” you rubbed your hands over his broad shoulders, still unable to get over how toned his body is.

He rested his head on your shoulder, kissing at your collarbone. “I’m so fuckin’…” he paused and wondered if it was inappropriate to tell someone youre in love them in the immediate aftermath of sex. He wouldn’t know, you’re the first person he’s said it to but he couldn’t stop himself. “I’m fuckin’ in love with you.” He said into your neck.

“Carmen.” You said, the use of his full name making his gaze shoot up to your eyes. For a second he wondered if he’d done something wrong. He was staring at you, those big blue eyes you loved so much, looking at you with pure love.

“Hey…it’s okay…” you kissed him softly, slowly, touching his face in the most tender way, thumb gracing over his cheekbone “I love you too.”

As he exhaled, dropping his forehead to yours, he was for the first time in a long time, not just content but happy.

[halsteadlover]

𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐭

*Pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Spencer Reid x Stripper!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: it was supposed to be a case like any other, an undercover operation like a thousand others he had done but when Spencer sets his eyes on that dancer for the first time suddenly everything fades into the background.

• Warnings: brief mention of alcohol, homicide case, nudity, fingering, oral sex (m. receiving), fingering, sex, use of condoms (ALWAYS WRAP IT!!!), cursing, dirty talk, basically Spencer being a ✨man✨, tell me if I missed anything <3

• Word count: 7.6K

• A/N: PLEASE READ THIS ONLY IF YOU’RE +18. This was written in 3rd person. I had this idea for a while now but didn’t know how to write it but now here we are you have no idea how much time it took 😭 I promise I’m still working on the requests please don’t hate me I’m just trying the find the motivation to write again. I really hope you like this one please let me know what you think and comment, reblog and like ❤️ Thank you for your kindness and constant support xx

Spencer had never felt as uncomfortable as he did in that moment, surrounded by germs and all kinds of bodily fluids.

He was disgusted and couldn’t wait for this to be over soon so he could get out of there.

Damn you, Derek Morgan.

He cursed his colleague for forcing him to go in that damned place. He was in a strip club, pretending to be a normal customer so he could talk to some of the strippers and the head of the club himself about an investigation. The BAU was in fact following the case of a serial killer who lured his victims and killed them.

Since the victims – who were about four – were all affluent straight males in their thirties and there were no traces of drugs or signs on their bodies that they’d been forced to follow the killer, the team assumed the unsub was a female in her mid-twenties.

After digging into their pasts to study the victimology, the team discovered all four victims committed sexual crimes which however had somehow been attempted to be covered up. So there was no doubt those killings were about some sort of justice.

The unsub would kill them by slicing their throats with a single and precise movement, a cut so deep it was easy to say she was an expert. There was no way the four victims were her first ones, but nothing came up after Garcia searched for other murders with the same modus operandi.

After leaving their bodies on the bed of a hotel room, the unsub would also write a short note on the wall with a deep purple lipstick – a particular color – which wasn’t found on the victims’ bodies, so the team thought she wouldn’t wear it, she was carrying it with her with the sole purpose to write those simple short sentences.

The BAU had interrogated the victims of these aforementioned sexual assaults but all of them had airtight alibis so there was no real suspect. After interrogating the victims’ families and friends, they realized there was a common denominator between those four men: the Sinful Lust.

And that’s how Spencer ended up there.

He didn’t understand why it had to be him who had to be in that place. How could they think it’d be a good idea to have him to deal with strippers and people having sex around him?

Anyone could see from a mile away how uncomfortable he felt sitting there, even people who weren’t profilers. Spencer continued to look around, almost dazed by the club’s strobe lights as he tried to mask his disgust at noticing his surroundings and the intense smell of alcohol.

He never hated Derek so much.

He knew it was just his sadistic way of making him feel uncomfortable, despite the encouragement from the rest of the team though who were sure Spencer would make it.

His palms sweated with every passing second as he rubbed them on his black pants before fixing the collar of his shirt. He wasn’t used to wearing these kinds of clothes, he felt caged, in a body that didn’t belong to him.

Every woman in that place wasted no time winking at him, shooting him languid glances to which he responded with a tight and totally false smile. Some of them approached him and he had to fake interest in them by engaged stupid and languid conversations.

He couldn’t help but think about how Morgan would’ve enjoyed that situation and how he wouldn’t have wasted time making all the women in that damn club fall at his feet.

Spencer really envied him sometimes. He envied how his friend was always so easygoing and extroverted, especially with women, with a joke always ready, how he always knew what to say and when.

Suddenly the club lights dimmed and focused on the stage, stopping his rush of thoughts and indicating the strippers were about to begin the show.

Numerous tables and seats were concentrated near the stage, populated by hungry men who couldn’t wait to feast their eyes and spend their money and Spencer noted with disgust many of them were even married.

Poor wives.

Spencer let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding only to gasp again as some music started and the strippers began to dance. He didn’t recognize the music and the words, preferring classical music; however, his mind wasn’t focused on the bass vibrating through the room but on analyzing the scene.

But it was so damn hard when women danced sensually in front of him half naked. It’s a physiological reaction, he kept repeating to himself, it’s normal, focus Reid, do not deconcentrate.

The dim lights only added more tension to the evocative atmosphere, interrupted every now and then by men standing up and cheering to hand over their money they had probably earned with so much effort.

Spencer moved into his seat, picking up the glass of some type of liquor he didn’t know and pretending to sip before placing it back on the table, wanting with every fiber of his being for the unsub to reveal herself.

But he knew it couldn’t be that simple. If killers had written on their foreheads they were actually killers, he wouldn’t even have a job anymore.

He wondered if she was there.

Who knew if she had already chosen her next victim.

Spencer’s eyes met with one of the three dancers on the stage and a vice gripped his stomach when he realized she was already looking at him.

Her hips continued to move sensually to the rhythm of the music as her fingers played with the buttons of the skimpy top she was wearing and for an instant Spencer thought if he wasn’t mistaken or having a hallucination.

But he wasn’t wrong.

Her eyes were fixed solely on him.

She bit her lip as she winked at Spencer, and he almost melted into that chair like snow in the sun. He tried to keep his expression as casual and neutral as possible but in reality, every single cell in his body was on fire.

She turned her body and walked sensually towards the pole and Spencer’s eyes went hungrily and impertinently down her body, making him feel no less dirty than the rest of the men present.

But he couldn’t control himself as his eyes seemed to have a life on their own and he couldn’t take them off her.

His gaze traced every exposed inch of her skin, focusing on her ass covered by a skimpy short skirt, the mere sight of her making his pants tighten around his crotch. His mind began to wander with fantasy, unable to help but imagine his head buried between her legs.

Spencer shifted in his chair dejectedly, resting his hands on his lap and covering his erection as if someone was there to notice. Nobody would’ve noticed, all eyes were on her and the dancers.

He didn’t even look at the other two women on the stage, his eyes was fixed only on her, her hips, her beautiful and smooth legs, on her body that spun with disarming ease around the dance pole.

He wondered what it’d be like to feel his fingers squeezing her hips as she rode him into oblivion and this image alone almost made him come in his pants.

He was totally mesmerized.

He didn’t know what was happening to him but every cell in his body seemed to have lit up and inflamed, his fingers were trembling with desire to slide them over her sinuous body.

But it was when her eyes met his again that Spencer felt the air sucked out of his lungs. He couldn’t quite make out the color, he was too far away to be able to do that, but just the way she was looking at him made him shift in his seat again and his aching dick erect even more.

He was paralyzed, he didn’t dare move a single muscle. He didn’t know why but he was afraid if he moved everyone would find out who he really was. That she would find out.

His eyes never left hers, a small grin painting her face as she continued to dance sensually. Spencer felt arrogant enough to assume this dance was just for him.

The show eventually ended and the lights dimmed in the club again, although Spencer managed to track the silhouettes of the dancers coming off the stage. His heart jumped into his throat when he noticed a person approaching him and not just any person but her.

Spencer’s eyes followed her every movement although the light was so low he couldn’t really make out her beautiful features. He shifted in his chair again and tried to keep his concentration up when a cloud of her scent hit him square in the face, short-circuiting every single neuron in his brain.

This was the perfect opportunity to gather information regarding the case, but at that moment Spencer seemed to have completely forgotten the reason why he was there.

“Come with me.”

That was all she said and even her voice was so sweet it mesmerized him even more, as if it was a siren’s song luring the poor sailors into her clutches. He stood up without even being asked twice, his mind trying to convince itself it was just to gather the information he needed.

At that moment, however, the only thing controlling his body was the blood rushing to his penis and not the rationality that always distinguished him.

She walked through the club ignoring everything around her while he followed her like a puppy, unaware of what was coming and what she was up to. A small, tiny part of his brain kept screaming to be careful, that she was a stranger probably looking for the money – or worse to kill him. He knew he needed to focus on the case but Spencer was too attracted to her to even listen to those voices.

Nothing like this had ever happened before. He would’ve never thought of following a stranger to who knew where without an ounce of information.

They entered a room and Spencer quickly scanned it, deducing it was her dressing room. His attention, however, immediately returned to that woman. Under those lights, he could finally look at her in all her splendor and the air was sucked from his lungs as his eyes traveled along her body and analyzed her face.

She was breathtaking, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and there wasn’t a single part of him that wasn’t itching to touch her.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice broke the silence. Spencer didn’t respond at first, his eyes focused on her cleavage and the way her chest rose and fell. Only when he brought his eyes back to her face and saw the mischievous smirk on her lips he realized she had said something to him and that he must’ve looked like a complete idiot.

“What?”

She chuckled and that simple sound traveled through his body, causing his blood to rush and his penis to harden even more.

What is she doing to me?

She slightly tilted her head, her eyes vibrant as she watched – no, analyzed – Spencer.

His muscles froze as she took two steps toward him, never taking her eyes off him.

He returned her gaze with a courage he had never had and didn’t even know he possessed. Her eyes were bright but there was something particularly intense about them, something he absolutely wanted to discover and he couldn’t even name.

His breathing quickened and he prayed she wouldn’t realize how intense the effect she had on him was. She looked at him with an intensity that made him weak in the knees, with an intensity that no one had ever looked at him with.

She hadn’t torn her eyes away from his for not even a second, and although that confidence further intrigued Spencer, it scared him at the same time. He knew she was trying to get inside him, into his soul and discover his deepest secrets.

“I asked what you’re doing here.”

“You told me to come.”

She licked her lips and Spencer’s eyes flicked to her mouth, causing him to react in a way that resulted in the further restriction of his pants. He stuffed his hands in his pants pockets to avoid doing something he’d regret, but damn it was so hard.

This was also the moment he understood the true meaning of the phrase ‘blue balls’.

He was so fucking horny it hurt.

“I’m well aware of that,” she replied with a smirk, probably noticing the way he was staring at her lips. “But don’t act stupid, you don’t look like one. What are you doing here?”

Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat, using the shred of rationality he had left to think of an answer. But the way she was looking at him, as if she wanted him to take her right then and now, was enough to make him no longer even remember his name.

I’m an FBI agent investigating a murder case and you, like every other dancer here, could be a potential suspect.

He couldn’t say it, but damn it if she kept coming closer to him, he wouldn’t even bother giving her his wallet and bank details.

“What all the men are doing, why don’t you go ask them?”

Well done.

“I’m asking you.” She flicked her hair behind her shoulders with a single but graceful movement of her head, leaving her neck and shoulder exposed. Spencer’s throat bobbed up and down again, his mind filled with images of him sticking his tongue out and licking and tasting her skin, sucking it and leaving marks.

Dammit Reid, get a hold of yourself.

“I’ve been watching you,” she spoke, her tone calm and sensual. “You looked like you were going to vomit when you came in and I know you would’ve never come here of your own free will; so why don’t you tell me the truth pretty boy?”

Fuck yeah keep calling me that.

Why doesn’t it sound so good when Morgan calls me that?

Stop thinking about Morgan.

“There’s a first time for everyone, don’t you think?” Spencer raised an eyebrow.

She bit her lower lip, a gesture that made him feral.

Please somebody help me.

It was only then she took her eyes away from his and let them wander slowly along his body.

She studied and analyzed him and with every inch that passed under her eyes Spencer felt his skin catch fire, especially when her gaze focused on the huge bulge in his pants.

The beautiful stranger brought her eyes back to his and Spencer didn’t miss that lustful glint in them and the way her breathing had quickened, indicating she was as affected by him as he was by her.

“What’s your name?”

“David,” Spencer replied, congratulating himself on the way he had managed to control himself and not give away his real name.

“David,” she repeated, slowly, as if wanting to taste what his name felt like on her tongue. She took another step, closing her distance and her scent hit his nostrils. It was a mixture of vanilla, coconut, innocence and sin and he was going crazy.

“I’ll pretend you don’t think I’m that stupid, David,” she winked and Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat for the third time, trying to keep his breathing to a normal pace even though his heart was pounding wildly inside his rib cage.

They continued to look at each other for an almost infinite time, the air more tense and warmer with each passing second. Spencer tried to think of something to say, anything, but the way she looked at him paralyzed him. His eyes roamed and traced the lines of her lips imagining what it’d be like to feel them pressed against his, what it’d be like to feel them wrapped around his dick and just the thought almost made him come in his pants.

I can’t do this anymore.

“You shouldn’t be here,” she whispered, her voice so low he almost didn’t hear her. Spencer had the impression she wanted to say anything else, but she had refrained from doing it, like if she had opened her tightly closed lips she would’ve told a terrible secret.

“I’m exactly where I want to be,” he replied, taking his hand out of his pocket and bringing it closer to her face. His fingers played with a lock of her hair before tucking it behind her ear. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing, it was as if his body was acting on its own and had completely disconnected from his brain. Her breathing quickened at that contact and that time he was the one to smirk. “What’s your name?”

“It doesn’t matter. You didn’t tell me yours.”

“It matters to me. And I did, it’s up to you to believe me or not.”

She cocked one eyebrow up. “Why does it matter?”

“I want to know whose name I’m going to moan when I’ll think of you with my hand around my dick.”

Spencer almost chocked on his own words.

What the fuck?

Again, what the hell is wrong with me?

What was he doing? What was going through his mind? He completely lost his mind but he didn’t care, not when she looked at him like she wanted to tear him apart and burn him right then and there. And the worst thing was that he probably would’ve let her do it without objecting.

He could see the way she was holding back, the way she tried to appear casual but after all it was his job to know what people really felt, what they thought. He knew it from the way her pupils were so dilated they covered almost all the color of his irises, from the way her skin was flushed and the redness on her cheeks, from the light layer of sweat covering her forehead, from her rapid breathing, the stiffness of her muscles, from the way her hands clenched into two fists as if she was leveraging on herself to not let go.

But why?

Spencer wasn’t an expert in that world, but he really thought she’d try in any way to get some money, to seduce him and then leave him broke, but then why did she hold back? Why was she rejecting him? Why did she ask him to come with her if she wasn’t trying to do anything?

In other moments he would’ve investigated more but in that instant everything had taken a step backwards, Spencer didn’t seem to be focused on anything other than putting his hands on that stranger who was hypnotizing and bewitching like no one else ever did. He had never felt anything like this, being consumed by the desire to kiss her, touch her, run his tongue over every inch of her body, he never felt that raw and primordial desire to have someone.

And he wanted her.

Fuck the consequences.

“You don’t really want this,” she whispered and it didn’t take a profiler to figure out that she wasn’t sure of those words either. It was Spencer who closed the distance between the two that time, feeling the heat of her body envelop him and attracting him like a moth to flame, as every part of her skin was screaming to be touched by his fingers. Her words repelled him but the way she looked at him said something else.

“Why did you ask me to come here then?”

Her eyes looked at him with a look that even him couldn’t decipher. She was hiding something, she was battling herself and he wanted to know why.

“You don’t belong in this place.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t know…” she whispered as her gaze kept alternating between his eyes and his mouth. He wet them with his tongue, pleased when he saw the way her breath hitched.

“I just couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

Spencer may not be very experienced in the women’s game, but he could see the passionate hunger in her eyes, that glimmer of lust and desire that left him breathless.

“Do you want it?”

“Yes.”

Those two single whispered letters were enough for Spencer to destroy what little shred of control he still possessed. Before he knew it his hands were cupping her face and his lips were pressed to hers in a searing, electrifying kiss.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him, he couldn’t even recognize himself at that moment. As her mouth devoured him and her tongue tasted his, he couldn’t let go of the feeling he was watching everything as if he was an outside observer, like he wasn’t the one commanding his actions.

He couldn’t believe what was happening, that he – the man who was terrified of even shaking hands with strangers for fear of germs – was kissing that beautiful, sexy stranger who had invaded his senses ever since she set her feet on that stage. And to be honest he didn’t even care, Spencer was only focused on the world in which she was devouring him.

Their tongues intertwined in a sensual dance as their deep breaths and sighs blended into each other. There was nothing sweet about that kiss, about the way he fisted his hands around her hair, the way she had her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her, the saliva mixing. It was animalistic, raw, sloppy, messy, a kiss so deep they felt their soul being sucked out of their body.

The tension and electricity in the air was clearly palpable as time seemed to stop around them, leaving them engulfed in the fire of passion and making them both forget who and where they were.

While Spencer’s hands roamed along her body, squeezing and groping every inch of her skin he could reach, sucking in and swallowing every sigh that escaped her throat, he no longer thought he was an FBI agent who was there because he had a job to do.

And even his name was forgotten as her fingers began frantically unbuttoning his shirt, her fingertips leaving fiery marks on his skin as they slid down his chest. They both began taking slow steps, their mouths continuing to devour each other and only breaking away when Spencer’s legs touched the sofa in the dressing room. He sat with his legs apart and a very painful erection in his pants, his gaze on fire while his hungry eyes analyzed and looked with meticulous attention at the stranger.

Never more than in that moment was he grateful to his eidetic memory, because he knew he would never forget that divine image in front of his eyes. Her breasts, legs, hips, her waist, everything seemed to scream to be touched and worshiped and Spencer couldn’t wait to do it.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered more to himself than to her, his hands resting on his thighs as he continued to let his gaze wander down her body.

She smiled and Spencer almost fainted. And it wasn’t a mischievous grin but a real smile, one of those that weakened the knees and made everything more beautiful and brighter. One of those he’d never forget.

He took her hands and pulled her towards him making her sit on his lap, her legs tightly straddling his thighs. He groaned as his hard dick collided with her core, relieving that feeling of pressure and pain even if for just a few seconds.

Before he could say or do anything she had pressed her lips on his again, starting to sensually move on him, shamelessly grinding herself and unleashing obscene sighs from both of them that sounded like they were coming from a porn.

Spencer’s hands cupped her ass, pressing his fingers so hard into her skin as he followed her movements while her hands instead continued to roam his chest, her nails pressing into his skin until she leaves red marks on it.

“Fuck I want you so bad,” she breathed into his lips and he let out a particularly loud groan when she bit his bottom lip, sucking it. Her lips parted from his, leaving wet kisses along his jaw, down his neck, sucking, biting, nibbling at his skin.

Any trace of whatever indecision she felt was gone and he couldn’t control himself anymore. His body seemed to move automatically. Lust and desire had clouded his mind, that sublime mind that had done everything to prevent these moments from happening but that had given into the most primitive of instincts. Sex.

His hands went up to the skimpy top she was wearing, ripping it off without even thinking twice before dropping the broken material on the floor, soon joined by her bra as well. His hands cupped her breasts, teasing and pinching her turgid nipples that so recalled his mouth.

Spencer obeyed that wish, wrapping his lips around one of her breasts sucking it while he continued to grope the other. Her hands threaded through his hair, curling into fists and pulling, causing another groan from Spencer. He didn’t even know he was into this. His hips jerked up, continuing to grind against her for some relief.

“Please…” He let go of her breast, throwing his head back and fearing he’d explode right then and there. He wanted to know that stranger’s name, he desperately wanted to moan it and he equally desperately wanted to tell her his, just so he could hear it screamed by her beautiful mouth as he fucked her. “I’ll come in my pants if you keep doing this.”

She giggled and this was a further shock to Spencer, who thought he was going to have a heart attack at any moment. Her hands fumbled with his belt, undoing the button and pulling down the zip of his pants. He let out a sigh of relief when, after slightly lifting his hips, she lowered his pants along with his precum stained boxers, finally releasing his erection.

“Shit…” he hissed a curse through gritted teeth as her hand wrapped around his dick. It started to move up and down with it and he closed his parted lips as he tried to suppress his moans. His eyes were glued on that stranger’s hand who gave him pleasure, a vision he’d never forget. Her hand was so delicate and perfect, in stark contrast to the sinful and dirty action she was doing.

“Don’t hold back, I want to hear you moan for me, okay?”

Spencer met her gaze and nodded, not trusting his own voice. She lifted herself from his lap and knelt between his spread legs and if Spencer hadn’t already been sitting down, the mere image of her on her knees with her hand wrapped around his dick would’ve made him fall to the ground.

“Is this okay?” She asked and Spencer found himself nodding again, this time with so much enthusiasm that she chuckled.

“Yes please…” he breathed as she continued to masturbate him, alternating fast and slow movements and making him lose his mind even more, if that was even possible. Her thumb drew imaginary circles on his red, wet tip, making him gasp against his will.

He placed a hand on her cheek, her skin hot against his palm, his thumb caressing her lips. His breath hitched in anticipation when she wrapped her lips around his thumb, her eyes never leaving Spencer’s as she sucked on his fingertip. “I’m dying to have this pretty mouth around my dick, do you want to show me what it can do?”

Spencer had no clue where this confidence was coming from, but he was too horny to think about shyness and what to say.

She let go of his thumb and stuck her tongue out before tracing the shaft of his penis with a single, excruciatingly slow lick from the base to his tip. He let out a deep, loud groan, throwing his head back as he felt his silky skin against her tongue. It was an aphrodisiac sensation and if Spencer was to believe in heaven and an afterlife, her mouth would definitely be his.

“Shit just like that,” he moaned as her tongue drew imaginary circles on his tip, sucking and taking away every trace of precum. His soul nearly left his body when she encircled his tip with her lips, sliding his length into her mouth until his dick hit the back of her throat.

She placed a hand on his bare, hairy thighs, dragging her nails across his skin as if to draw his attention to her and Spencer granted her wish, lifting his head and looking down at that sin dressed as an angel who was sucking his dick.

Fucking hell I don’t even believe in angels.

It was immoral, the most unethical thing he could’ve done, something for which he could’ve even be kicked out of the team but Spencer couldn’t care less, not when that mouth was sucking him like her life depended on it and making him feel a pleasure he couldn’t even think was possible to feel.

“You’re so good little angel,” he praised her, placing a hand on her head threading his fingers through her hair and a little spark lit up in her eyes. She definitely had a praise kink. “This mouth will be the death of me.”

She hollowed her cheeks, picking up the pace as her head bobbed up and down and her tongue licked circling his dick. Spencer felt like he was already one step away from exploding in her mouth, but he didn’t want to come, not before being buried deep inside her. “Dammit… Stop, stop, I don’t want to come yet.”

He cupped her face pressing his lips to her swollen, wet ones while simultaneously pulling her on his lap again. He kissed her as if he wanted to suck her soul out of her body, resting his hands on her smooth, bare thighs as his fingers pressed into her skin, teasing her but never touching that magical spot where Spencer couldn’t wait to sink.

“For fuck’s sake touch me,” she hissed impatiently pulling on the young man’s hair, earning a small grin from him.

“Tell me how much you want it,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her neck, inhaling deeply that scent he knew would torment him for the rest of his life, that scent that drugged and marked him in the span of very few seconds. His thumbs kept drawing circles on her inner thighs, dangerously close to her pussy as she squirmed under his touch and Spencer was loving every single shred of the desperation she showed.

She wanted him.

She wanted him desperately.

Spencer never had someone who wanted him so badly, sure he had his experiences with women – albeit very limited ones – but he had never felt anything so deep, animalistic and visceral. He had never had any woman looking at him with that fire in her eyes, as if he was the only man who existed for her, as if he was everything she wanted, as if she could die at any moment if he didn’t give it to her.

But that stranger did.

And damn it felt so good.

“Please, I want it… I want you…” she cried out in an impatient and desperation tone and that was music to his ears. If there was some divine entity Spencer thanked it for making her wear a miniskirt.

His fingers slipped into her panties, moaning to himself as he felt the amount of fluids wetting her pussy. “So wet… You’re going to kill me, you know that right?”

She didn’t answer, she threw her head back while Spencer looked at her with hooded eyes and one of his fingers wasted no time in penetrating her. Her hips moved in rhythm and he trembled with anticipation, imagining her walls squeezing his dick.

“Fuck yes…” she moaned loudly, her hands in Spencer’s hair as he inserted a second finger inside her, watching her reaction and how her body writhed in pleasure.

“You’re so tight little angel, I can’t wait to be buried deep inside this wet pussy,” he murmured with pleasure before taking one of her breasts into his mouth, too temptingly as he sucked and licked it. His other arm went around her hips, holding her in place and keeping her from squirming away. “How many of them did you let fuck you mmh? How many have made you feel this way?” He licked her chest, her collarbone, every inch of skin he could reach before he began torturing her other breast.

“No one…” she breathed, unable to finish her sentence due to her heavy panting and moaning. Her thighs were shaking, her hands gripping his hair. “Nobody… Holy shit…” She trailed off again, her body contorting forward if it wasn’t for Spencer’s arm holding her and he knew his fingers had hit her G-spot.

He actually had no idea what he was doing or how to move but he was an attentive observer. His eyes glued to her studied with careful attention every single breath, the intensity of her moans, the way her muscles trembled, the way her pussy clenched, the way she held him, studying her body and quickly adapting to her reaction.

“Oh God yes, yes, you’re so fucking good keep going…” she cried out and then looked down at him. Her thumb traced his lips and – just as she had done earlier – he wrapped them around her finger, sucking on it as his fingers continued to pump in and out of her. Her walls clenched his wet fingers and if the vision of her coming over them didn’t make him lose his sanity, then he didn’t know what else would.

Spencer left her no room to catch her breath or strength after her orgasm.

“Open.” He ordered, bringing his fingers that until a few moments before were inside her, close to her lips. She didn’t hesitate to lick Spencer’s wet fingers clean, making him dizzy as her eyes watched with adulation and lust at the way his tongue sensually moved her fluids. “Yeah little angel, just like that.”

He was going crazy. He seriously thought his vessels were going to explode from how horny he was.

She let go of his fingers and sloppily kissed him, making him taste her juices on her tongue. “Fuck what are doing to me…” She whispered and something told Spencer she didn’t mean to say those words out loud.

“If you think I’m anywhere near done with you, you’re completely wrong,” he murmured against her lips. “Show me how a good girl you are and sit on me, let me see how this pretty pussy soaks my dick.”

Good job Dr Reid.

I’m really proud of myself.

“And here I thought you were a virgin,” she chuckled before getting up and taking a condom from one of the drawers in her closet, but not before taking off her panties. She settled down by straddling his thighs again before slipping the condom onto his painfully hard dick. She lifted her pelvis and wrapped her hand around Spencer’s dick, letting herself be penetrated until she found herself completely sitting on it. “But I know behind this cute pretty face you’re so dirty, filthy enough to fuck a stripper whose name you don’t even know.”

Spencer clung to every ounce of strength in his body to concentrate on anything other than the warm, wet walls of that stranger’s pussy or he would’ve come instantly.

He had even forgotten how good it felt to have sex after so long and remembered why people were so obsessed with it, why his team pestered him to get laid.

Her pussy engulfed him so perfectly it seemed to have been made just for him.

“You feel so good god…” she breathed out a moan interrupting her sentence as she slowly raised her hips and lowered herself again. Spencer couldn’t control a deep groan as she continued to tease and torture him with that slow motion, rolling her hips on his dick.

Spencer’s fingers found themselves on her ass for the second time, groping and spreading her ass cheeks trying to maintain control but it was so damn hard when all he wanted to do was fuck her brains out of her head.

“F-faster… You’re torturing me…” he panted brokenly, his chest quickly rising and falling as if he was running a marathon.

Instead, she kept going with her slow, destabilizing pace, lifting her hips again and slowly lowering herself on his raging dick, torturing him further as the sounds she let out filled the room. Those alone would’ve been enough to make him fall into the void and never be able to get back to the surface.

“Beg me.”

“Please, please… Make me feel good little angel, make me come,” he obeyed, not caring about sounding pathetic. The smirk that formed on her lips was the manifestation of the most pure form of sin, a sin for which there was no absolution or redemption.

Luckily Spencer didn’t even believe in these things.

But if there was a definition of heaven and hell, if they ever existed, it would’ve been her.

Her and those eyes that looked at him like they wanted to capture what was left of his soul, those eyes that would’ve made Spencer thrown himself off a cliff if she had asked.

Her and those hands that held him and touched him, causing him sensations he didn’t even know the meaning of, and this said something for a person who knew the meaning of every single word written in the dictionary.

Her and her deadly mouth that continued to kiss him until there was no air left in his lungs, her teeth biting him, her tongue licking his skin and sucking his tongue.

Her and those moans and gasps she couldn’t hold back and that Spencer was absorbing one by one, imprinting them in his memory so he could repeat them again and again.

“Look at you, aren’t you a desperate little thing? So hungry for me,” she sensually whispered in his ear and biting his earlobe. Fulfilling Spencer’s wishes, she began to increase her pace, placing her hands on the back of the couch for support.

Nothing resounded except their moans, pants, grunts mixing with each other, the sound of their skin rubbing and flapping and their lips smacking with each kiss with the smell of sex, sin and prohibition filling their nostrils.

Spencer’s eyes were glued on her, on her parted lips and her head thrown back, her eyes half closed, her tits bouncing in rhythm with her thrusts which he didn’t waste time taking into his mouth and sucking them, biting the nipples until they were numb.

She fisted Spencer’s hair again, pulling it and forcing him to tilt his head back to look at her. That gesture made him grunt and aroused him even more than he already was, and his hips twitched against her, giving a particularly deep thrust that made her curse.

“I can see how you’re holding back pretty boy,” she sighed, continuing to ride him but slowing her pace this time causing a pathetic cry to escape his lips. She kept brushing her lips against his without kissing him, with the sole aim of torturing him and driving him crazy. As if she hadn’t already done it. “Don’t hold back, I can see how much you want to ruin me, how much you’re dying to destroy me.”

“Fuck.” He cursed and something snapped inside him.

He thrusted his hips so deep into her she choked out a moan and he was sure she felt it in every corner of her pussy. His long fingers continued to press into the red, heated flesh of her ass holding her still while he jerked his hips forcefully, taking command even though she was still on top of him.

His dick kept pushing in and out of her, engulfed by her pussy as it tightened around him. Spencer knew how fundamental the importance of using protection was, especially with strangers, but he wished he didn’t wear that damn condom so much, so he could feel every wet corner of her around his dick.

“Oh fuck yes… Just like that,” she loudly moaned and he was sure that by now everyone had heard what was going on in that dressing room but had chosen to ignore it.

Spencer didn’t know how much longer he could hold on. He needed to come but he didn’t want to, he didn’t want this to end.

That’s why he made her get up off him, earning a confused expression before flipping her onto that couch and laying on top of her. He opened her legs and positioned himself between them. He left her no room to say anything as he aligned his dick with her entrance, penetrating her in one motion.

Her legs encircled his hips, her heels pressed against his skin as he fucked her on that couch like his life depended on it, with hard, deep thrusts that made her eyes water.

He had completely lost control.

His hand went around her throat, a gesture that happened spontaneously and that Spencer didn’t even realize until he saw the smirk and expression of pure ecstasy on her face.

How long has he been into choking?

That damn woman would be his downfall.

“Is this what you wanted?” he groaned, his fingers tightening sideways around her throat, being careful not to press on her windpipe. Some strands of hair fell in front of his eyes but she removed them, almost making him faint at that sweet gesture, in stark contrast to the animalistic way in which they were fucking.

“I knew there was a little devil inside you pretty boy, God you’re so fucking sexy,” she gasped, biting hit lower lips and making him increase his pace. “Yes, yes, yes I’m going to come… Keep going fuck yeah…”

His thrusts were deep, messy and although he tried to keep himself from coming, wanting to prolong that feeling of ecstasy as long as possible, it was impossible as her pussy kept clenching around him, moaning “I’m coming” in his ear so sexily it made him come. Spencer exploded and with one last thrust he let himself go into a mind-blowing orgasm that made his body tremble and his eyes blind for a few moments as he poured all his sperm inside the condom.

There were a few moments of silence, broken only by the panting and deep breathing of the two as they caught their breath.

After the ecstasy of the orgasm, Spencer stood up, noticing out of the corner of his eye that she too was trying to get up but her still shaking legs prevented her from doing so. He tried to hold back a smirk, giving her a hand and helping her to get on her feet before earning a feeble “Thank you.”

What the fuck did I just do?

I just had sex with a stripper who could be a potential witness/suspect while undercover.

I’m so screwed.

He realized the enormous mistake he had just made, not even imagining the consequences. He thanked no one in particular for not having worn the microphone or, holy shit, that would’ve been difficult to explain.

Spencer didn’t say a word and he was grateful that she didn’t either, too dazed and groggy to be able to face a conversation.

They both cleaned up in silence and after throwing the condom in the bin, Spencer tried to tidy himself up, tucking his shirt into his pants after buttoning it.

His profiler nature, however, couldn’t help but notice the way how her demeanor completely changed, going from that sexy vicious woman to a silent shy one. She hadn’t so much as glanced at him, he noticed how her shoulders were tense while she moved frantically as if she was trying to vanish from that dressing room as quickly as possible.

She was nervous.

But why?

“You still haven’t answered my initial question, you know?” Spencer broke the awkward silence, before he could stop his tongue.

Damn it Reid why do you want to complicate things so badly?

She turned her head towards him, looking at him with a confused expression trying to make up her mind.

But then a small smile spread across her features before she closed her backpack and placed it on her shoulder. “No one’s been lucky enough to get in here,” she replied, effectively giving the answer Spencer was looking for and for some strange and absurd reason he believed her. “Or unlucky, depending on your point of view.”

Before he could answer she gave him one last glance and left the dressing room. He was supposed to be relieved, there would be no question he couldn’t answer – especially after she realized David wasn’t his real name – but for some reason he couldn’t let go that sinking feeling in his stomach.

He was good at analyzing other people’s emotions, every facet and change of expression, but he wasn’t as good with himself.

He was tempted to follow her, at least to know her name, to find out who the woman who had fried his brain was, but before going out he noticed a small object near the door, probably fallen from her backpack before she went out.

He knelt to pick it up from the ground, but his blood froze in his veins and his heart stopped beating for a millisecond when he realized what the object was.

It was a purple lipstick.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @halstead-severide-fan, @mrspeacem1nusone, @allivs, @omniaimy, @cursedashes, @kmc1989, @firetruckstuckley, @23victoria, @buckybarnessweetheart, @fanaticlove16

Spencer Reid tag list: @blorp-bee, @novabckly, @thebejeweledwatercat, @mamapussyfart, @just-a-harmless-patato, @multifandomlover01, @lunepoesie

Click here to be added to the tag list ❤️

Main Masterlist

Spencer Reid Masterlist

Support me on Ko-Fi ☕️

Ask link 💭

Side blog -> @halsteadloverslibrary

[sxorpiomooon]

what's blocking you from getting what you want - a pac reading

paid readings

tip me

check out my masterlist for other pacs and astrology stuff

This reading was so confusing because the first title that I was actually shuffling cards for was "what you need to do in order to get more opportunities" then I shifted to what you need to do in order to open more doors for you to reach where you need to be but this reading feels more to me about what blockages are you facing in order to be where you want to be or get what you want. This reading was VERY confusing to me but I do hope this helps you guys in some way, thankyou<33

Pile 1-

Hell nawww😭😭 you my pile 1 quite literally have to work hard some of you might have a tough saturn or prominent that's the vibe I got the first vision I had was saturn in 1st house anyways the kind of sucess that you pile 1 might need might require you to keep working hard for some time. Unlike other piles I don't see you getting your success instantly or without any hardwork. "Hang on, the process might be steady and slow in coming but it is coming" and this pile also needs to learn to be patient. You are in some toxic cycles that you must break I heard karma for most of you this might be family wise I also think this is mostly past life karma. You guys might also have the tendency to repress your emotions which need to be stopped. I think y'all tend to bottle up your emotions which leads to y'all losing your shit once the bottle is filled. Reppressing doesn't mean that your emotions are gone it just means that they are going to appear again once the change arrives. I think this is the main blockage that you guys are facing i also think this pile needs to be quick in making plans and changes. Do y'all have a broken watch or glass at home? If you do, please change it if you have a stopped watch please put some battery in it it's bringing more delay in your opportunities. Anyways long short story- keep working hard success is a process remember and nurture your emotions. This was also my pile why did they do us so bad man😔

Pile 2-

Ask for help and help others. This is literally it are y'all not taking care of your eyes or are in phone so much the moment I pulled cards my eyes felt weak a bit of water and dizzy? Go to sleep put your phone down too much phone time I had a vision of 9h phone time anyways donate to charity if you guys can I wonder if people on here have scorpio asc in their d10 chart. Donate to charity if you can remember money is not the only thing that you can donate time and efforts also count as contribution. I think this pile might have also faced some financial issues I also heard capricorn. Some of you might take onto your parents role or might be facing some trauma because of your family I heard legacy so probably generational trauma. Come to terms with it y'all might have some sort of financial family trauma. Some harsh words might have been said to you that are too deep rooted in your heart still. Pile 2 you are more stronger than you think, you have far more strength than you can comprehend. Let it go.

Pile 3-

you guys might have big egos rightfully so because I see that you might have ALOT of enemies some of them might be obvious the others not so much. I see people being ready to attack you 24/7 I do understand you guys and I do believe that you should give your 100% to whatever you want but the advice that I'm getting here is that you can choose to give up if the only thing that's in line is your ego. For the other people that choose this pile y'all might be getting bullied by someone or might be too scared to be judged? Alot of different kinds of people are choosing this pile you guys might have a good Pluto position perhaps even Pluto conjuct moon in your 10h or 1h? Face your true honest self be courageous and honest to yourself these both things are necessary for you to do in order to receive your awakening. You are successful and have alot of enemies however I do think that you can benefit from them alot by actually learning something from their perspective. You might be able to gain another win by doing so. Alot of fight, struggle energy from this pile.

Pile 4-

walk away and stop being delusional. You are very well aware of what you need to walk away from I heard "it's time to go" leave whatever is not serving you it's time. Go leave and never look back. Only when you remove things from your life you receive the space to add on new things. You can't let all the junk fill up in your life and then continue to complain about how you are not receiving anything new or better. Make space and be courageous. You have a very nice energy if you guys already are not aware it. Alot of people might like you very easily I think this pile might have a energy that easily hypes up other people, makes them feel at ease and brings joy this can actually help you in gaining other people's favour more. Compliment people more on their work it's very easy for you to win other people's favour. People will help you in reaching where you need to read my pile 4

[starkspondwater]

how abt Kenny period comfort 😈

or whatever idk if you've written for Kenny...😭

Uh, yes i will write this! I made it fluffy because I feel like Kenny would be so sweet for this sort of thing! Also might've used my own experiences in this, so keep that in mind I used to lay on the bathroom floor a lot okay it helped

It's a little short, so I hope that's alright!

Summary: Period pains suck, but Kenny is too sweet a boyfriend not to help in any way he can! (fluff)

Warmth (Period Comfort)- Kenny McCormick

You groaned, hands grasped around your stomach as you tried to reel in your pain. 

This was something you had dealt with for a good portion of your life, beginning quite suddenly at 12 and continuing every month up to now. You should be used to it, but instead here you were curled up on the cold bathroom floor with tears spilling from the corners of your eyes. 

At least there was something nice about the cold tiles, soothing even. While your insides felt as though tiny gremlins were repeatedly stabbing you from the inside out, you could at least find comfort somewhere. If only that buzzing would stop, it was starting to get annoy- oh. 

Dragging yourself up off the floor and to the sink, you grabbed your phone and grimaced. 

1 Missed Call- Kenny <3

2 Messages- Kenny <3

You forgot he was supposed to come over today, your work schedules lining up for once to allow a mutual day off. When you suggested the plan to go out and see a movie as well as a little lunch Kenny had been so excited, eyes shining at the thought of spending time with you. And now your body is ruining it.

The relationship was still brand new, the two of you only seeing each other for about a month, but you could say with confidence that he’d been the best boyfriend you’d ever had. Kenny was attractive, that was a fact, but he was also incredibly attentive, reading you like a book even when you attempted to close yourself off. He was funny and flirtatious, but also earnest in a way that you didn’t dare doubt his intentions.

Your fingers hovered over the phone screen as you hesitated. It wasn’t like you were embarrassed to be on your period, it was a perfectly normal thing, just…with everything being so new, you didn’t want to overshare too much. You recalled how skeeved out past partners had been, and those had been much longer relationships. Sighing, you typed out a quick message saying you weren’t feeling well and left it at that.

_____

Loud knocking at your apartment door pulled you from your deep sleep on the couch. Slowly making your way to the door, you silently cursed whoever had the audacity to interrupt the one thing keeping your mind off of the pain. To your surprise, and slight horror, the offending party was none other than Kenny McCormick, a small smile on his face as he held a plastic bag in his hands.

“Hey, doll! How are you feeling?” Stepping around you into the apartment, he made his way to the small kitchenette, setting the bag on the counter. “I wasn’t sure what you would need so I just grabbed anything that I thought could be useful.”

You just watched as he emptied its contents, first some cough medicine, then some sort of decongestant, and with every item you felt a grin grow larger and larger on your lips until it eventually broke, laughter spilling forth. It took a few seconds before you could look at Kenny again, a warmth spreading in your chest at his concern.

“I’m uh…I’m not sick like that…” All of a sudden you felt bashful, your eyes darting to the side to avoid his own. This sort of thing was never the easiest to bring up, but if he cared enough to buy essentially a drug store for you, you at least owed an explanation. “I’m having cramps today. That’s why I cancelled.”

You watched as his eyebrows scrunched for a second, taking in what you said before smoothing out. He simply nodded in understanding as he finished up with the bag in his hands. 

“Aunt flow, huh? Should’ve told me, I could’ve bought something more useful,” with a chuckle, he opened up his arms which you happily stepped into. One thing about Kenny you thoroughly enjoyed was how warm he was, almost like a human heater. As another cramp rolled over you found yourself struggling to keep standing straight. “Whoa, you alright? Let’s get you laying down.” 

You weren’t entirely sure what to make of the blond man moving around your small home, you just knew you liked what you were seeing. Kenny had a focus about him you didn’t normally see, his carefree attitude almost always on display. Now, however, he was digging into a few drawers looking for the heating pad you were sure you had purchased when you initially moved in. 

“It’s alright, Ken, you’ve already done enough,” you said, watching from the blanket he had cocooned you in. On the coffee table in front of you sat a steaming mug of tea, the aroma warm and soothing. 

Kenny sat up from his hunched position in front of a lower cabinet, popping his back slightly. Now that he had discarded his jacket and hoodie, you could finally see those delicious arms of his, flexing slightly as he stretched them upwards.

“Well, didn’t hurt to at least look for it,” padding over, he moved around the blankets until he was practically underneath you before grabbing the remote. “What do you wanna watch?”

“Kenny…you don’t have to keep me company. I’ll be just fine on my own.”

“I know that,” flashing that signature smile of his, you felt yourself flush. “I want to spend time with you, whether that’s out and about or at home. And this way I can show off those sick boyfriend skills of mine!”

“Yeah, yeah, just put on whatever you want,” giggling you cuddled up to him, relishing his body heat. 

The movie was some sort of drama, not that you cared as you started to lightly doze. It hadn’t taken long for you to turn and rest your back onto his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist in a comforting embrace. It was easy, this sort of thing. With Kenny it always was. There was never any sort of pressure to be on all the time, he made it okay just to be. 

The pain in your lower stomach persisted, Kenny noticed, as each time another wave hit your body tensed. He wasn’t a stupid man by any means, he had girlfriends over the years and had seen how painful this sort of thing could be. While he knew he couldn’t just take away that pain, he at least wanted to ease it, if only that damn heating pad had actually been found.

Heat. A thought popped into his mind. He was an overly warm person, something you had lovingly mentioned several times now, and perhaps he could put that to use. 

You smiled as you felt one of Kenny’s large, strong hands settle onto your lower belly, warmth seeping from it right into you. It felt wonderful. Loving even. It was when you felt a slight pressure that your mind kicked on. The pain that had persisted through the day was still there, that wouldn’t go away for a while, but the sharpness behind it began to dull. 

“Is it helping?” You could feel the vibration of his words through your back as he spoke.

“Y-yes, it feels…so much better.” Something about the thoughtfulness in his actions had you feeling shy all of a sudden. 

“Good,” he hummed, his thumb rubbing into your stomach as he kept a constant pressure on you, “go to sleep, doll. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

You couldn’t keep yourself from following orders even if you tried. As your eyes closed and slumber gripped you, the thought that maybe this dreaded time of the month wouldn’t be so bad anymore with him by your side. The last thing you felt were his lips pressing a kiss to your hair, the whisper of love so quiet you weren’t sure if you even heard it at all.

[accio-victuuri]

merry christmas to us turtles, my gift to you is this clowning post for yibo’s new song ( i am not here ) concept poster. of course, we have multiple cpns already with this material alone. lol. i’m sure we will know more when the track is released and other bts stuff. reminder to enjoy the song & if it’s cpn leaning or not doesn’t really matter. we are here to support yibo and this is his yearly “gift” to fans 🎁

as with xz’s we album art, our minds immediately went to the cql connection. it’s too easy! this is because the chinese title is 我在 which is i’m here but the english title and what’s on the poster is i am not here ( possible explanation of why this happens is at the end of this post ). it could be that these two lines are in the song — anyway, the “i am here” is something that lwj said 🥹🥹🥹🥹

in the novel, this has more weight and makes me wanna scream actually 😭😭😭😭

i will just include here the part/s in the novel that people are referencing:

Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian called out. Lan Wangji’s breathing wasn’t as steady as it usually was—it was slightly short, probably from overexerting himself in hand-to-hand combat while carrying Wei Wuxian on his back. However, the tone with which he answered him had the same steadiness he’d always possessed, and it was still that word: “Mn.” After that, he added, “I’m here.” Hearing those two words, a feeling Wei Wuxian had never felt before spread into his heart. It was like an ache. His heart throbbed a little, but it was also a little warm

LAN ZHAN…” Wei Wuxian murmured. He reached out and grabbed one of Lan Zhan’s sleeves. Lan Wangji, who had been keeping watch by his side, immediately leaned over to answer him softly. “I am here.”

Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian mumbled. Everyone was overjoyed, thinking he was about to wake up, but Wei Wuxian’s eyes remained tightly shut. Lan Wangji, on the other hand, looked as he usually did. “Mn. I am here.”Wei Wuxian said nothing else. He nuzzled against Lan Wangji, as if feeling safe and reassured, and continued to sleep.

The moment Wei Wuxian heard the dog, his hair immediately stood on end and he shrank into Lan Wangji’s embrace. Scared completely out of his wits, he cried out. “Lan Zhan!” Lan Wangji already knew to hold him. “Mn!” he assured him. “I am here!” “Hold me!” Wei Wuxian pleaded. “I am!” Lan Wangji replied. “Hold me tight!” Wei Wuxian then specified. “I am!” Lan Wangji confirmed.

and if you think about it— this is what wyb is to xz. he is there. even when is not there physically, he is. and vice versa 🫶🏼

plus the photo of yibo with his eyes closed, similar to lwj. personally, it’s making me so jealous of his eyebrows again 😤😤😤😤

fans are also going back to that one post of xz that said i’m here, good night! and when you connect that to the goodnight song that we think is a bjyx inspired track. and now yibo releases i’m here.

if you wanna clown some more, you can say that wyb’s song is sort of an answer to goodnight. cause xz’s more about not being with that person physically but he cherishes the goodnight they share with each other at the end of the day. and wyb is saying i’m here / i’m not here. ybo’s caption for the teaser is “Close your eyes and the colors of the world bloom in your heart. The distant blur and the real reunion at hand.”

so it’s a reunion? being together after some time apart? Close your eyes? Sleep and you will see me there cause i’m in your heart too. but don’t worry, we will be together soon.

I SWEAR. 😭😭😭😭😭

ALSO THIS TYPE OF DESIGN:

and how their song titles have two characters. we and i’m here. it goes well together.

and pretty much like how hu ge used “we/us” in his caption before. the same happened with this track. what a coincidence! 👀👀👀👀

Lastly, i found someone explaining why there is a difference in the direct translation. We had experience with this in GG’s songs form his wo men album. In the same way that the english titles of Chinese movies almost always is not the direct translation.

If the Chinese name is "I’m here” and the English name is "I am not here", this may be due to the following reasons:

1. Cultural differences and artistic conception: When Chinese and English express the same concept, they often have different language styles and cultural backgrounds. Sometimes Chinese names may focus on conveying a certain kind of meaning & artistic conception or emotion, while English names are more direct or have reverse meanings. For example, the Chinese name "I am" may convey a sense of presence or some kind of presence. The English name "I am not here" may be intended to express an emotion or theme of absence.

2. The double meaning of the work: It is possible that this work focuses on a certain theme (such as existence, positioning, presence) in Chinese, but in English it uses negative sentences. The expression conveys the opposite meaning, thereby creating a certain sense of contrast or suspense. This naming scheme may be intended to pique the interest of viewers or readers and encourage them to explore the work and the deep meaning behind it.

3. Translation strategy: Sometimes in order to adapt to the habits and aesthetics of different language markets, translation will take a certain degree of freedom. The translator may think that the English "I am not "here" can better capture the essence of the original work in a certain context or can more effectively resonate with English audiences.

4. Difference in context; if "I Am" is a contrasting or symbolic name, then the English name "i am not here" may be related to the content of the story. For example, a character may not be physically present, but still "exist" or "affect" the story on other levels.

In short, the differences between Chinese and English titles may be due to differences in language and culture, or may be due to the creator or translator's attempt to better convey the theme or introduction of the story. A choice made based on the curiosity of the audience.

There is also this interpretation:

The philosophy of "presence" and "absence" of emotions:

The combination of the two can also be understood as a philosophical reflection on presence and absence. "I’m here" can be seen as a declaration and guarantee of love, meaning that even if you are not together in a space, two people can still perceive each other mentally and rely on each other; and "I am not here" faces the physical absence in reality and is an emotion.

Self-expression on the Internet means that although you are not in front of the other person, you are still with them in your heart. It symbolizes the silent understanding and spiritual bond between long-distance lovers. Even if they cannot always appear in each other's lives, their hearts will always be with them.

Resonance in long-distance relationships:

Summary:

For couples in long-distance relationships, "I Am Here" may be the singer's promise to his lover - "I am here, no matter where you are"; while "I am not here" It is to Acknowledge the difficulties and helplessness of reality, "Although I am no longer with you, I still care about you." The two combine to express the unique experience of long-distance love: between love and absences, there are both firm commitment and deep longing and helplessness.

The combination of "I am here " and "I am not here" shows the emotional tension in long-distance relationships. Together they express a profound emotional state: that of being physically. We are not together physically, but our emotional and spiritual connection is strong. "I am here” represents deep love and firm commitment, while "I am not here" is a positive statement.

Acknowledging the sense of distance and absence in long-distance relationships. Together, they convey a sense of emotional persistence and acceptance of distance from reality, while also demonstrating that even in absence, Love still exists and is still real.

The Chinese and English names of this song are not only a true portrayal of the emotion of long-distance love, but also express the two aspects of love - persistence and absence, presence and loss, embodying the duality in long-distance relationships. No matter where we are, our hearts will always find each other.

THIS IS ALL GUESSWORK/CLOWNING. The title could change. There could be a completely different meaning than we think. It’s still so early but this is what’s fun with being a turtle and doing cpn <3 don’t take it seriously! Again, what’s important is we will get a new song! 🙌🏼

source/s

[pupyuj]

Would love a rough quickie with them in this outfit 🫠🫠🫠

https://x.com/anyujinsss/status/1763430900111757617?s=46&t=sv54D2RJCM5ahfRVnc7Bjw

-🥵

no bcs i’m gonna need ya’ll to indulge me a bit here BECAUSEEE 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 honestly thought i could do so much more w this idea but i hit a wall 😭 HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS STILL LIKE IT THO ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

so let's say... bodyguard au right? (check out my bff @bitchiswild's yuj bodyguard au btw it's great heheheh) except that yujin doesn't know what the fuck she's doing bcs she's a professional hitwoman not a fucking bodyguard! and to be tasked to go to such lengths to keep a spoiled rich girl like you safe was asking too much! but she does it anyway (she does anything for money) and not only does she actually end up taking her supposed job seriously, she also... well, starts to feel some sort of affection towards you! <33

no it's not what you're thinking—ahn yujin, your beloved stupid bodyguard is obsessed with you 😳😳 see, you aren't actually as bad as yujin initially made you out to be! you were so kind it was sickening, the brightness of your smile managed to rival yujin's own genuine ones, and you were almost like... a real-life disney princess?? at first yujin assumed you were just being pretentious, being a two-faced snake.. but no, it turns out you fr had a heart of gold and that was when yujin started being softer with you... and softer until her affection turned into obsession and ofc she starts looking at you wayyy too differently 🤭

what a fucking pervert she is, honestly! always insists on walking behind you instead of beside you not bcs she's looking out for you but bcs she's checking your ass out.. and she especially loves it when you're wearing short skirts! fantasizes a lot whenever you're out together, mostly when you drag her to an outlet mall and just start shopping to your heart's content! gives yujinnie an excuse to picture you wearing all those pretty lingerie that you buy in her head.. and she's never been more thankful for her job bcs you'd bring her inside a changing room with you and ask for her opinion and... yeah, yujin very much enjoys the show 😚

nothing happens between the two of you until some fancy event however 🤭 yujin was lingering around watching you as usual until you sneak out of a crowd, walking off to a secluded room all frustrated... ofc yujin follows you bcs hello, that's her job and she wanted to berate you for going somewhere without telling her first!! but then it turns out that you were in the worst mood ever so you were just glaring at yujin the entire time she was scolding you.. and then you started whining about her always treating you like a toddler and never letting you do anything on your own and yeah it was a whole fight! things get heated, some hurtful words were thrown around, and you expected yourself to push yujin away and storm off but nooo you just had to grab her by the collar of her shirt with both hands and kiss her 😳 "i... dad needs me f-for a stupid—ah!—speech in a bit..." struggling to speak bcs yujin was touching you everywhere and it felt so good :((

"guess we should hurry then, huh?" so she says but she does everything but hurry! yujin takes her precious time exploring your body,, skilled, calloused hands massaging your thighs, ass, and breasts as her tongue explored your mouth… how she wished she could rip your pretty clothes off and ruin you but :(( she didn’t want you to get into too much trouble! being so annoyed of her teasing that you had to trap her hand in between your legs, pleading her to just fuck you before you were called onto the stage out side 😣 she ignores your first pleas though,, finding it so entertaining that she’s got you wrapped around her finger this time…

“hm.. fuck… do you know how long i’ve been wanting to touch you like this?” she asks while pulling your panties down so slowly ☹️ stares at your wet cunt like it’s her last meal.. even going as far as to lick her lips but she didn’t want to make a mess of her face so she was going to save that for a whole ‘nother day 🥰🥰 ah, and as much as she would love to see the kind of expression you make while she fucks you… she had to see how good you looked being fucked from behind first! 😋 her instructing you to bend over the couch in the room.. one hand gripping your ass and the other—two fingers knuckle-deep inside you :(( and good god was she good!

“d’you wanna be loud, princess? one of your father’s associates seemed very keen on taking you home… want to let him know the only person you’ll allow to touch you like this..?” yujinnie taunts while you’re a moaning mess underneath her.. your nails holding the leather couch in a tigh grip as yujin hits all of your weak spots… “scream my name, whore.” her insults, along with how she slaps your ass and abuses your cunt.. well, nobody could blame you for cumming a bit too quickly than what yujin liked!! but that was okay! really 🤭 she’ll have all the time in the world later when the event was over and you hurry on over to your home, bringing yujin all the way to your bed and letting her do everything she has been wanting to do to you until the sun rises 🫣🫣

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hiii I’ve been following the Malleus talk for some time now and wanted to ask what things you do like about him or good traits you think he has. I ask because when you explained that why you don’t like Vil you also said what you liked about him. That he works hard and is confident. So I’m wondering if you have some of those for Malleus!

[Referencing this post and this post!]

Aaaaaah, I tried my best to come up with things I like about Malleus but fair warning that it’s not a lot and I had to pick really specific instances rather than general characteristics 💦 I hope that’s okay!!

His mom is hot--

There are times when he acts appropriately neutral, wise, and dignified, as a crown prince and future king should be. I like these moments and want more of them over him being pouty or lashing out. A few examples of this include Fairy Gala (he knows there are tensions between nocturnal and diurnal fae and rightfully stays out of it), Ghost Marriage (he cannot thoughtlessly propose to Eliza but does support Riddle and Lilia in their preparations), and Vargas Camp (when he instructs Sebek to apologize to Leona, who still counts as a fellow prince).

His patience with Sebek. Early on in the fandom I think there was this expectation that Malleus would find Sebek annoying? But it’s refreshing to see that he isn’t usually bothered by Sebek’s presence and handles interactions in a level-headed and blunt manner. He doesn’t discourage Sebek and his special interests either; Malleus tends to entertain them (like the time he sat still and had the royal painter do a portrait of Malleus for Sebek’s birthday gift) or is otherwise pretty indifferent about it, though of course he still corrects Sebek when he steps out of line or intrudes on others. For example, Malleus still speaks up when Sebek is rude to other nobles or is disturbing the peace with his loudness.

Malleus’s love and care for the gargoyles of the City of Flowers/Fleur City. His friendship with that one gargoyle was just so adorable!! Short it may have been, but it was still very genuine.

His parallels with Leona. A crown prince with few close friends or family… versus a prince who will never have the crown but is surrounded by loving people… They want what the other has so badly, and I think there’s such a tragic irony about that.

The one time Malleus truly felt fear (thanks to Rollo). Listen, LISTEN 😭 This was legitimately so cool????? To think that it would be Rollo lighting a fire under Malleus’s tail, forcing this overpowered fairy to experience that same feeling others may have when he unleashes his power on them… Oh, how the tables turn. It’s interesting that Malleus reacts as if he’s amused by the sensation of fear and welcomes the challenge; it sort of implies he was growing bored of the same old routine and is actually showing some strange respect to Rollo by deeming him a worthy opponent. This being one of the few times Malleus shows vulnerability instead of dominating the battle, of course I’d love it 😂

But most importantly…. Malleus’s best trait is—

***Late book 7 spoilers below the cut!!!***

He was once a cute lil’ baby dragon that makes silly lizard sounds 🐉 (alas, he is no longer one… 😔) And again, he has a hot mom—

[moodymisty]

Hi! I am SO happy your requests are open again, could I Ask for Logan Grimnar x Reader!Inqusitor where she was sent as punishment to monitor Space Wolves and with time she warms up to them and starts having crush on Logan because of his charisma, and after few months they chill in his chambers as he casually mentions that he knows you are into him bc he can smell arousal of you whenever he is around which leads him to confess that he also has feelings for you and asks if you want to tame the Great Wolf? I'm sorry if its written so wonky but its my first ever request😭

Author's note: Sorry this is so short;;; I'm at my wits end with block and i saw this was your first request and really wanted to make sure you got SOMETHING;;

Relationships: Logan Grimnar/Fem!Reader

Warnings: A bit nsfw, a lime if you will ;3 but nothing else

'For a woman sent here on punishment, you've seemed quite pleased with the arrangement.'

'What do you mean by that?'

Grimnar had gotten a confused and a bit miffed expression thrown at him, after he had caught you alone.

He has a habit of doing it. You've presumed that the lucky foot charm attached to his belt actually has some sort of borderline heretical power; Or perhaps he's actively seeking you out to- with a word unfitting of him- pester you.

The old astartes laughed, a deep bellow that nearly hurt your ears and cast a weight in your belly that you hate to admit even existed. All astartes voices are deeper and heavier than most average men, and much louder. Grimnar however seemed ever heavier, and you could feel the way his voice weighed on your body.

'I think it would only be a dumb pup that wouldn't notice the way you smell when you watch me train my men.'

'Part of my duty involves obsv-'

You crossed your arms tight around your chest, as if trying to use them as an extra layer of armor against his words that's peeling it all away piece by piece far faster than you can withstand.

Heat blossomed on your neck, from anger or embarrassment you weren't sure, and your words came out harsher and less respectful that you perhaps intended.

He laughs again, though this time it's almost more like a snort than a full belly laugh. He was so unafraid to look you in the eyes, smirking down at you through the thick hair of his beard.

'Don't try that lie on me, little one.'

He took a step closer, lodging himself firmly in your personal space. You held firm and didn't give him an inch, attempting to hold together your cracking exterior. Your skin felt like it was on fire, boiling in your veins as your guts twisted in your stomach.

Grimnar reached up and with his gargantuan gauntlet grasped your jaw with a practiced gentleness, looking at you as if he could read your mind.

'If you want to tame a wolf, you can sure try. You're a smart girl.'

'I might be an old wolf, But I'm sure you'll be plenty satisfied once I'm finished.'

You've hated that he always calls you girl since first sight; It demeaned your stature, your position, your acomplishments. You also hate the way it hits you where it feels far too good and makes your knees want to buckle beneath you. Your gut felt like it's full of lead, count clenching around nothing as if already disobeying you and yearning for him like a bitch in heat.

[rarityroo]

Hey there, I had a idea for a Jax x sibling reader. Maybe the reader looks up to their big brother a lot  and wants to be just as mischievous as him when they get older. But Jax is often annoyed by their clingy behavior and doesn’t want them following him around 24/7 but does have a very soft spot for them.<3 Like imagine a scenario where Jax has to go put his younger sibling to bed and finds them in their room sleeping on a drawing they were making for him.🥺 maybe he even scoops them up into his arms and tugs them into bed. I know Jax is a asshole but I would love to see him have a soft spot if he did have a younger sibling of sorts.😭

Darling drawings

(Jax x Gn! Sibling-like Reader) Platonic

Hi! So sorry this took so long sadly my sickness has gotten worse. I won’t be posting anymore writing for today because it’s Mother’s Day and I’m planning on spending time with my momma. Also I’m so sorry this is so short please lmk if you liked it, Enjoy!!

Jax wasn't a great influence, especially for someone so young but you didn’t care.

You wanted to be just like him, sure Jax wasn’t the biggest fan when you’d follow him around and sure Ragatha hated how you would copy his sadistic nature.

But despite his crude exterior, he had a soft spot for you that he couldn't shake off.

As much as Jax tried to push you away, there were moments when he couldn't help but see a reflection of himself in you. He couldn't shake the feeling of responsibility, he hated it, he wasn’t responsible for you? So why did he feel like he needed to take care of you? Knowing that you were looking up to him as a role model, even if he didn't feel worthy of it himself, made him feel strange, something he couldn’t quite explain….

Jax wondered in the tent, going by various rooms, maybe he could put some centipedes in Ragatha's room? Maybe he could go mess with Gaggle.

Then he came by your room, “Wonder what the kid is up to?” Jax mutters as he walks into your room. The scene was somewhat sweet.

In that quiet moment, as Jax entered your room to find you peacefully sleeping, the sight of you clutching onto the drawing you had made for him brought a softness to his hear drawing of you and him standing outside of the circus tent, heh cute. He thought,

He couldn't help but smile, a real genuine smile, not one of malice or out of sadism, no this was a rare expression on him, as he approached your bed.

Gently, he scooped you up into his arms, careful not to disturb your slumber, and tucked you in with utmost tenderness. He felt ridiculous, but he didn’t mind. You were a good kid.

As he watched over you for a moment, a wave of protectiveness washed over him, a silent promise to himself to take care of you despite everything.

And in that fleeting moment, amidst his own selfishness, he found solace in the simple act of caring for you, a kid who looked up to him with unwavering affection.

[venusgirltarot]

How Is Your Person Feeling About You? ࿐ྂ。

Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Tarot readings are about possibilities based on your current energy. Energy is forever changing and nothing is set in stone. Always remember, you have your own free will to make whatever decision you feel is best.

If you would like a personal reading from me, you can get one here!

Pile 1 ࿐

Pile one, your person may be someone you knew years ago. A childhood friend or a short fling that just wasn’t right at the time. You’ve either found each other again or never left and have been friends this whole time. Your person feels like they never quite match up to you and I heard “your expectations” but I don’t think you have or have ever had expectations for them. You’ve always loved them as themselves but they don’t seem to realize that.

If you guys have been friends, they may have seen you in other relationships and compare themselves to your exes, always feeling like they don’t quite measure up. They also compare themselves to you, they feel like you always do things by the book and you’re very intelligent. Maybe they feel you’ve gone about things in the way society deems as “correct” or “ideal”. For example, going to college right after high school, getting good grades, holding a stable job, etc. or possibly have a good family and home life that they don’t have.

They may have taken the steps to turn themselves into the person they feel is deserving of you and your attention. Possibly becoming someone you don’t really recognize anymore. This could be because you don’t really recognize them but could also be because they’ve distanced themselves from you so you haven’t gotten the chance to know this new version of them because they haven’t given you that chance.

There’s a distance between the two of you that seems to he fueled by this stubbornness and refusal to let your guard down and just open up to each other. You may have been in or recently gotten out of a relationship that upset this person. They may have finally come to terms with their romantic feelings for you and we’re thinking about opening up to you when you got into this relationship and it made them distance themselves and possibly even have resentment for you and this relationship.

There’s a lack of communication that I really think the two of you could benefit from. I think a conversation could change everything for the two of you if you just have it a chance and opened up to each other.

During the reading I heard “always an angel never a god” from a boygenius song (I’m so sorry I can’t remember which) “never could quite measure up” “one step ahead of you” and I channeled the song “The Less I Know The Better” by Tame Impala

Pile 2 ࿐

You may have recently ended things with this person or cut ties and moved on. You felt your needs weren’t being met and the energy wasn’t being reciprocated so you “kept it moving” is what I heard and “nobody has time for that” as well 😭 you knew you were deserving of more so you decided to leave this connection behind and go find more and you made a good decision in doing that.

I kept hearing “Everything I Didn’t Say” by 5SOS when I was shuffling. It seems like your person understands that there’s more they could’ve done but at the same time, I don’t think they’re expressing that to you. They may have entered this connection with the idea that it would be “easy” or “low maintenance” so they could focus on their career and put you on the back burner and didn’t take any of your issues or needs seriously. They didn’t expect you to walk away but refuse to see that their lack of communication and refusal to contribute to it was the real downfall of the relationship.

They may have the idea that material things like clothes, flowers, dinners, etc. would’ve fixed it when emotional connection and vulnerability is what you really wanted. I heard “you didn’t ever really know me” there was a lack of any sort of connection in this relationship and this person’s failure to realize that just cements the fact that walking away is the best decision you could’ve made.

I think you would have fully supported them in pursuing their career had they communicated that with you but they failed to do that and continue to lack the communication and emotional maturity needed to maintain a stable and healthy relationship.

You have an amazing person coming in, pile 2. Someone that’s understand and appreciates you and your energy. Someone that doesn’t neglect you, your wants, or your needs. There’s someone coming in that is worth your time and energy but that is not this person and you did the right thing by walking away. Please don’t ever doubt that. I heard “stay true to yourself” and “keep it moving”

Pile 3 ࿐

Don’t hold yourself back, pile 3. You may have met this person recently at a group outing/event or work. I heard “that’s my man” while shuffling. This is oddly specific but Taylor Swift may have been playing in the background when you met this person. You may have been in a group of people but your full attention was on each other, even if you two didn’t notice the other staring. There were a lot of stolen glances between the two of you and very subtle flirting. Subtle enough that you’re still questioning whether or not they were flirting with you. They were. The feelings are very much mutual.

You may be rejecting yourself before this person gets the chance to. Shutting down the idea of the two of you as couple to save yourself from hurt because for some reason you’re so sure it won’t but what if it does? What if you talk to them and they tell you your feelings are mutual and you finally get to feel that love you see everyone else receiving but have never received yourself? Stop letting your fears and insecurities hold you back and take that chance.

You’re worthy of love and affection from not only yourself, but others as well. This person is not “too good” for you and it is possible that they could like you back because they do. I heard “like a lot” 😭 the feelings are most definitely mutual, stop doubting yourself. Stop thinking no one could ever have a crush on you because they can and they do because of course they would. You’re amazing, stop doubting that. Why are you fighting your own happiness? It’s here. The love you’ve been wanting and fantasizing about is here, fall into it and stop questioning yourself.

I don’t have to tell you what this person is feeling for you because your feelings are identical. What you feel for them they feel for you. You’re definitely mirroring each other. Don’t take anything too seriously and approach this connection in a light playful way and see where it goes.

I hope this reading has brought you some sort of peace, clarification, or happiness! Feedback is always appreciated :) have a good day or night. Sending you love and light!