#it’s unironically one of best pieces I’ve made recently

[maliciousmagpie]

Thought tumblr might appreciate this one.

[boreum-dal]

cardcaptor sakura: boy band au #1

so, a while back, in the midst of a DEEP dive into BTS, @swingsdown​ and i brainstormed a stupidly indulgent CCS boy band AU which i’ve written in bits and pieces over the last few months for fun. i don’t plan to do much with it, but i thought it’d be fun to post little bits of it here as it gets written.

below is the rundown: 

touya, yukito, eriol, syaoran, and yamazaki make up japan’s hottest boy group, CLOW, a group that has smashed regional and global records, amassed a cult-like legion of fans, and reached new peaks of success with every comeback they stage. beyond good looks, catchy music, and charming personalities, the group captures the hearts of fans with what appears to be genuine brotherhood and love for each other both on- and off-camera. but just when it looks like they can’t fly any higher, yukito, the glue of the group, abruptly leaves, and everything is at risk of falling apart. 

these are non-chronological vignettes of the band’s time together, both while yukito is with them and after he leaves as they try to stage a return to the music world. 

[see below for descriptions of the boys’ roles in the band, etc. + first vignette]

navigation:

[intro & post-yukito #1] [post-yukito #2] [post-yukito #3]| [during yukito #1]

-touya: rapper/singer, 26, group leader, trainee for longest (6 years--15 to 21) because he didn’t have any proper musical training when he auditioned; wanted to become a musician to help make ends meet for his family. best rapper, ok singer, worst dancer. Is friendly enough for an idol but a little stoic but has lots of fans because he’s very good looking

-yamazaki: rapper/singer, 24, exceptionally good dancer and ok rapper, relatively terrible singer but had to take vocal lessons to improve after yukito left to help fill the gap; never fights with anyone, chaotic energy at almost all times, known for his smiley eyes; known for weirdly high iq

-eriol: singer, 22, classically trained/very good vocalist, TERRIBLE rapper, pretty good dancer, calmest/most polite out of the group, best “face of the group,” known for classic good looks, comes from rich family, bff/roomies with syaoran

-syaoran: singer, 22, second best vocalist behind eriol, not good rapper, pretty good dancer, sometimes gets called “mini touya” because they’re both a little surly and look alike (and is popular despite stoicism/attitude bc he’s cute), hardest on himself and known to be a perfectionist, bff/roomies with eriol, auditioned through global casting in hong kong, had to learn japanese, english, and korean in training

-their fans unironically call themselves “CLOWn.” 

-this is modeled much more after kpop boy groups/the kpop system in general, which i know is quite different from the jpop scene. 

====

[post-yukito #1]

Syaoran watched, holding his breath, as the cameraman counted down with his fingers from three for their cue. At zero, he bowed in perfect unison with his bandmates, rising back up with a practiced smile. Yukito had taught him that the eyes mattered the most--if they don’t crinkle a little, people won’t think it’s genuine, he’d said. Syaoran squeezed the muscles around his cheeks just a little bit tighter and swallowed back bile. He felt Yamazaki squeeze his elbow to his left, and realizing how tense his shoulders were, he took in a breath and tried to force himself to relax.

“Hello, we’re CLOW,” he chorused with the group, and he threw up a v-sign with his fingers, maintaining the fake-genuine smile. Yukito would have been to his right if he’d been here, and he tried not to think about how painfully naked his right shoulder felt. They’d been preparing for this for months, and even so, everything about this situation suddenly felt horribly wrong.

“Hi, CLOW!” the host, a chipper young woman with bright blue hair and purple contact lenses who’d recently made her solo debut a few months ago, exclaimed, turning briefly to them before facing the camera again. 

Syaoran briefly recalled the first time they’d been on this particular concert pre-show; it had been three weeks into their debut, and he’d been so nervous that he could hardly see straight. The interviewer then had been a young man, a fellow idol singer doing a three-month stint as the host for the show, and when the host had held the mic up to Syaoran’s face, he’d been totally speechless, his voice shot from nerves. His whole group--Eriol in particular--had given him hell about it for weeks afterward. Even Yukito, in all his sweet earnestness, had given him some good-natured ribbing about it. Only Touya had refrained, for one reason or another. 

“Today is a very exciting day--your first comeback in over six months with your new single, LOVETORN!” the host said, turning towards Touya. “Tell us, how are you feeling?”

Touya leaned into the mic, facing the camera and wearing a convincingly charming grin. “It feels amazing. We are so happy to be able to provide new music for our fans, who have been so loving and wonderful while we’ve been on our break. We only hope that our fans love the single with as much love as we poured into making it.”

“Well, within twenty-four hours of the music video’s release on YouTube, it already hit 70 million views, so I think we can say with certainty that your fans love the single!” the host chirped. “Can you tell us what the meaning behind this song is?”

Syaoran was relieved the mic did not go to him for this question; he’d have had a difficult time not rolling his eyes. The meaning was pretty clear, he thought. It was a song about wanting someone back. Touya and the producers had decided to capitalize off of the most painful moment in the band’s four-year history by writing a fucking song about the departure of the one member that had truly held the team together. 

Eriol, predictably, was a little more diplomatic in his response, for better or for worse. “Yes, it’s about the pain of being apart from your loved one for a prolonged period of time and life not being the same without them,” he said into the mic. He pushed up his glasses. “In our case, it’s about us being separated from our beloved CLOWNs for so long and wanting desperately to be reunited. And here we are today.”

The host smiled. “Such a sad song, but you’re all so happy to be here! How are you going to emote something so painful onstage?”

It was Syaoran’s turn to speak. All eyes were on him now, and taking an imperceptible half-second to compose himself, he turned on his megawatt smile once more. “It’s quite simple, really. We’ll just think about the times that inspired us to write this song in the first place. All the hardships, all the heartache--we’ll bring it all back onstage. And to that end,” he said, looking directly into the camera, “we’ve missed you very much.”

He hoped Yukito was watching, even though he knew he wasn’t. 

“That is lovely, and we can’t wait to see you perform. Yamazaki, would you like to kick off the performance?”

Yamazaki stuck his face into the camera with a wide grin. “Absolutely. You’re watching Music Centre, and get ready for CLOW’s comeback with our new single, LOVETORN, in three, two, one!”

“Cut!” The director shouted, and the cameras stopped rolling. “Great job, everyone. I love when we get everything we need in one take--after all that time away, you really are true professionals.”

The group bowed, murmuring thanks, and shuffled backstage toward the dressing rooms. 

“Good job, everyone,” Yoshiyuki Terada, the group’s manager, called, looking up from an iPad. “Take ten and then we’ll meet back here--you’re due onstage after this next performance.”

Syaoran made it into the dressing room first, and immediately, he grabbed his headphones out of the pocket of his hoodie hanging from the door and shoved them into his ears. The last thing he wanted to do right now was reflect with the band on that painful interview--not right before they had to go outside and bear their souls to the world for a four-minute performance. Just as he sat down on one of the sofas, though, he felt one of the earbuds being plucked out of his ear. 

He looked up indignantly to see Touya holding the earbud, who was staring down at him with his lips drawn into a disapproving frown. “Quick team meeting.”

Syaoran scowled, but he turned around and leaned the front of his torso against the back of the sofa to face the rest of the group. 

“Okay, guys,” Touya said, leaning against the vanity and crossing his arms. “First live performance of our comeback. How are we feeling?”

“Pretty good, now that the interview’s over,” Eriol said with a sigh. He reached down toward the floor to stretch his legs. “That was the hardest part for me.”

Yamazaki nodded. “Now that we don’t have to talk, I feel fine. It’s just a matter of doing what we’ve been practicing for the last two months now. It’s all muscle memory from here!”

Touya glanced at Syaoran next. Syaoran glared at him for a moment, but then he met Eriol’s softer gaze, and he deflated a little. “I’m--I’ll be fine. I’m not nervous.”

Touya pursed his lips. “You know that’s not what I’m asking.”

“I know.” Syaoran swallowed. “But I don’t know what else I can say.”

Touya regarded him in silence for a moment, and Syaoran knew without looking that Eriol and Yamazaki were watching the exchange with bated breath. Much to Syaoran’s relief, Touya let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders. “Okay. Let’s do a good job out there tonight. No mistakes. The choreography on this is a little different from what we’re used to, so everyone needs to be in the exact right place at the exact right time.”

Of course it’s different. We’re missing a fifth body.

“How about you, Touya? How are you feeling?” Yamazaki asked, fiddling with the zipper on one of his many pant pockets. 

Touya exhaled softly, and for the first time all night, he raised the corners of his lips in a small smile. “I’m okay. This feels right.”

It didn’t, though, Syaoran thought. Nothing felt right. But his bandmates were clearly so excited to be performing again, Yukito or no, and he wasn’t going to ruin that for them just because he didn’t feel ready. 

“All right, guys, bring it in,” Touya said, holding out his hand. Eriol, Yamazaki, and Syaoran joined. “On three, CLOW. One, two, three--”

“CLOW!” the four of them chimed, and Syaoran followed Touya out of the dressing room and back toward the stage.

[natsubeatsrock]

Guide to Avoiding Fairy Tail Criticism

Fairy Tail is far from a perfect series. I'm not here to argue otherwise. I've made plenty of critiques about Fairy Tail over the years and I've been a strong proponent of people being allowed to say things they don't like about the series.

Though, as I watch the fallout of Hbomberguy's video on RWBY and how its fans are dealing with it, it's hard not to think about the stupid things people have said negatively about Fairy Tail. This series has its fair share of stupid, bad faith complaints repeated by critics over and over. While I've talked about some of these in the past, I think it's worth talking compiling a list of things that people who hate Fairy Tail say that I can't take seriously.

"Fairy Fail."

Let's just get this one out of the way. It's not clever in any way. I can't believe this has become as popular an insult as it has. I've seen so many people jokingly refer to this series with this name. No one who unironically uses this is genuinely interested in engaging the series on fair terms at all.

More than that, it's not even true. Despite any issues regarding the series, Fairy Tail is still a fairly popular series with fans, especially outside of Japan. It's one of Kodansha's most successful IPs of the 2000s. The fact that people put it on the same level as Shonen Jump's Big 3 is impressive. If this is what a failing series looks like, I can't imagine what success would look like for Mashima.

"Mashima didn't plan anything."

This is one I've fallen victim to in the past. To be fair, Mashima hasn't been the best at explaining this to his fans. For critics, it's easy to see that Mashima says he comes up with plot points as he goes. Of course, the reason this is a critique is that this is as far as many go.

As Mashima explains it, it's not that Mashima didn't have any plans for future events for the series and how future events would go. While he didn't start the series with many concrete plans aside from the basics, he has had plans for how the series would go. But rather than being fixed plans, Fairy Tail's decisions have been more fluid paths Mashima chooses to go down as the series continues.

This isn't a bad way to write a story. As a story progresses, you may realize that certain ideas may be less possible than others or things you've planned at the start make less sense than you originally thought. Again, the critique could be that Mashima's style of writing is responsible for some of the series' weaker moments. However, it's wrong to say that Mashima shot from the hip every week, as some people have described his writing. Luckily, Fairy Tail is the only series Mashima has written this way. Both Rave Master and Edens Zero have been planned more from the beginning.

"It's like One Piece, but worse."

I've seen it thrown around that Fairy Tail looks like One Piece. If that's all there was to it, I don't think this would be on this list. Despite what people tell you, Mashima was never an assistant for Eichiro Oda. Mashima got into the landscape without being anyone's assistant. That's easy to dismiss.

However, I've seen people argue that Fairy Tail is a poor attempt at trying to copy One Piece's formula. Ignore for a moment that Edens Zero is closer to following that model and even it isn't a copy. Or that every series this side of Dragon Ball has been accused of being similar to it and people have been doing the same with series after Naruto.

The focus of Fairy Tail isn't similar to that of One Piece. There is no grand treasure or giant goal that the series revolves itself around finding. A lot of the main conflicts to Fairy Tail present themselves less as threats to the individual goals of characters or but to the guild's existence.

"There is no point to Fairy Tail."

I've talked about this one in the past. One thing you'll see people say regarding Fairy Tail is that there wasn't a goal the series was getting to. People will often make the poor comparison to Bleach in this regard, despite Bleach's focus being Ichigo's growth towards being able to protect the people that care about him.

This is a point that even fans of the series miss. I've recently been describing Fairy Tail as a series told through the lens of its main characters about the guild. The focus isn't on how the Fairy Tail guild grows towards being the best, especially since they start at the top. We're meant to watch the characters in the guild as they interact with the world around them and the other guild members.

If that sounds like a weird way to run a series, it's not. Durarara has a similar setup but splits the focus from one core group of characters to several groups and individual characters split up across its main city. Its plot focuses on how each different group connects with each other in ways they don't know and we can't expect as viewers. I wish people would engage Fairy Tail criticism on this level because there are ways to criticize in its implementation of this. However, people see that there's no "I'm gonna be Hokage" or "I'm going to find the One Piece" plotline and think that the series has no point to it.

"Natsu/Lucy is a bad protagonist."

This is related to the last point. The series is less about how Natsu or Lucy achieve their specific goals and more about the guild after they meet each other and start working together. If the series were about those things, we'd get more time focusing on Natsu's search for Igneel or Lucy's growth in the guild. Once you understand what the series is about, the focus the series takes makes sense.

However, I want to spend some time explaining the functions that either character. Again. While the series is, for the most part, told through Lucy's perspective, Natsu is the main driving force of the series. The comparison I've been making for years now is the Sherlock Holmes stories. If Natsu is Sherlock Holmes, Lucy is Dr. Watson. Mashima's referred to both as the main character and the argument could be made that this focus expands to other main members of the Strongest Team.

"Juvia had no arc."

Yet another one I've been responsible for sharing. I've had a weird arc over the past few years of writing about Fairy Tail going from tacit defense to reluctant attacks to my current stance of nuanced critique. However, I've never been a huge fan of how Juvia's been written, despite liking Juvia herself. It's been thrown around that Juvia didn't have a real character or arc, especially outside of Gray.

Juvia's arc involves coming to experience love better. She goes from learning to love other people as friends to engaging with romantic love. She even gets the opportunity to share that love with others. While the focus of that arc becomes centered around Gray, it's not as if Juvia becomes less loving of others or that her arc focusing on Gray makes no sense considering he started her on the path of becoming more loving.

As much as I should sympathize with this argument, it's become a lot more annoying to see this kind of argument levied towards female characters. You're not seeing people argue that Jellal's change is too focused on Erza. I'm not even saying this as someone who loves how this has been played out in the series. It's just annoying to see at all.

"Watch Craftsdwarf's videos on Fairy Tail!"

I've talked about a few of the issues I have with the series already, but I keep seeing this brought up. I'll give credit where it's due. Craftsdwarf's "Overly Long Analytical Tirade on Fairy Tail" does make good points about the series. And considering it's broken up into different parts, it's more digestible than that rant about RWBY. I'm a big fan of the kind of media analysis videos and I've often linked some of my favorite videos in my posts here.

However, Craftsdwarf's videos aren't perfect. The videos come at the series from a hilariously uncharitable point of view, resulting in repeating many of the points I've already mentioned in this post. Their analysis of both Fairy Tail and Rave Master is often shallow and ill-formed. It might be helpful to watch the series to see a negative perspective about Fairy Tail. However, I worry that the points made in that series will be the foundation of future criticism of this series.

“Fairy Tail is the worst (popular) battle action shonen.”

It’s funny seeing this one levied towards plenty of series that aren’t Fairy Tail. People say this about Dragon Ball. People say this about the Big 3. People say this about other hits in Weekly Shonen Magazine like Seven Deadly Sins and Fire Force. People say this about the current popular stuff from WSJ like MHA and Black Clover. Fairy Tail is far from the first or last series to get this complaint.

Even ignoring how hilariously hard this is to quantify as objective fact as opposed to personal preference, I’ve noticed that most of the people making this claim don’t do the work to understand why things they don’t like happened. To be honest, I don’t know too many fans who are willing to do the same. A lot of fans have the infuriating mindset of “it’s bad, but I still like it”.

Despite whatever anyone tells you, Fairy Tail has internal logic outside of “nakama power”. Characters face genuine loss and win for logical reasons. Even if it’s not as consistent as fans would like it to be, I don’t think the anime/manga fandom is worse for this series being as popular and beloved as it is.

Let me know if I forgot any or if you’ve heard another one.

[atlasllm]

This may be cringe and idk if it's offensive but I have no idea what the fuck is going on in DreamSMP and if you want to info dump I would love to learn literally everything about it. If you want I can drop my discord.

-panicked.shrieking

I gave up the concept of cringe when I unironically joined the Onceler fandom. 

The Dream SMP is a Minecraft roleplay series, with a server run by Dream (and friends?) where a bunch of content creators are invited now and then. It’s very tough to keep track of actual videos for it sadly, since not all of the members archive their streams for it. Techno and Tommy do so from what I know, but there’s so many more perspectives. You could also try out the “clipshow” Youtube channels, they may not be ethical for stealing content but they do a good job putting it into edible pieces. From where I jumped on, Wilbur Soot made a drug van with Tommyinnit and Tubbo, and wanted to become their own nation. This started the war between the nation of “L’manburg” and the Dream SMP. At some point, L’manburg citizen Eret betrayed the others for Dream. However, L’manburg won its independance, and all was well for awhile.

After realizing that he just named himself ruler, Wilbur Soot called for an election, running against Quackity. Jschlatt (I don’t like his vibes very much) was invited to endorse Wilbur and Tommy, but ended up becoming his own party and becoming ruler of now “Manburg”.

Upset after losing their own nation, Wilbur and Tommy set off into a ravine, named Pogtopia, with the help of Technoblade (recently invited at the time, roleplaying an anarchist). Their friends, such as Niki and Tubbo, suffered Schlatt’s rule. At some point, Tubbo was executed for being a spy for Pogtopia, with Schlatt using Techno’s power to do so. This creates tension between Tommy and Techno.

This led to an all out battle between the Dream SMP/Manburg and the allies of Pogtopia. Pogtopia won back L’manburg, with the rulership going to Tubbo. Wilbur set off on his own after the battle and blew up L’manburg after realizing the nation he’s created has turned into a catalyst for pain and suffering. Knowing full well that he’s irredemable, he asks Philza (recently invited at the time, roleplaying Wilbur’s “father”) to kill him, which he does.

Realizing that he has been used as a pawn to take down the government so Wilbur and Tommy could have their own, Techno (known as a PvP master both in-universe and out-universe) releases a few Withers. He gets labeled as a traitor to L’manburg, and after destroying more of the country Techno retreats into a snowy forest to be a peaceful man.

Despite getting L’manburg back, Tommy is interested in getting some Minecraft discs back from Dream, who had them from the very first battles for L’manburg’s independance and refuses to rule, hence why Tubbo becomes president. However, he destroys the house of Dream’s best friend, Georgenotfound, and is found guilty. New member Ranboo is also suspected of doing so, but Tommy decides to take all the blame and gets exiled by Tubbo.

Dream is the only one who visits Tommy in exile, manipulating him to think that he’s his only friend. Tommy reaches a breaking point and seeks the help of Techno again, who’s reluctant but still willing to help him if he helps Techno destroy the new L’manburg. Tommy is hesitant, but they form an allyship anyway. I forget where this part happened, but Techno was a victim of a failed execution by Quackity, being executed for his crimes against L’manburg but escaping due to a Totem he had. He kills Quackity and goes on a mission to get his gear back (I believe Techno died in-game, and everyone saw it as an opportunity to get his OP gear and capture him while defenseless).

After being framed for blowing up the Community House by Dream, the oldest building on the server, Tommy snaps at the citizens of L’manburg and deems the discs more important than Tubbo. Realizing he’s been fighting for possessions this whole time, Tommy tries to redeem himself and sides with his best friend, Tubbo. Techno, feeling betrayed by Tommy once more, sides with Dream to destroy L’manburg once and for all.

Techno and Dream succeed (also aided by Philza, who lives with Techno in the snow forest after being unwillingly used to track down Techno), and all former L’manburg citizens can only watch as their home is destroyed.

This is where things start to get blurry from my perspective, since I’ve been busy:

Ranboo believes that he’s actually the one who blew up the Community House, and begins to hallucinate Dream’s voice in his head. Due to his memory issues, he can no longer distinguish between friend or foe, the real Dream or this “phantom” Dream.

At some point, Tommy and Tubbo go off to fight Dream for the discs once and for all. Dream and Awesamdude (Sam for short, he’s the Technoblade of redstone I think) have been building a grand prison that no one can escape from. Dream offers that it’s either the discs or their lives, and he aims to collect everyone else’s prized possessions in order to hold control over everyone in the server. He refuses to kill Tommy, because he’s just too fun to mess with; however, he is still willing to kill Tubbo if he steps out of line.

However, Punz, former ally of Dream, shows up and the old L’manburg citizens (and probably more) show up to fight against Dream. Dream surrenders, and becomes the first and only resident of the prison. He is only kept alive due to a supposed book that Schlatt gave him, which can bring people back from the dead. Tommy wishes to bring back Wilbur.

I think at this point, Tubbo goes off to create the country of Snowchester. Ranboo still struggles with memory problems, as he hasn’t recieved closure on whether or not he’s being manipulated by Dream or not. Techno and Philza have now formed “The Syndicate”, an anarchist group meant to go around and abolish governments.

At some point, Tommy confronts Dream in the prison. However, an explosion (most likely caused by Ranboo due to in-game evidence) causes the prison to go into lockdown, leaving Tommy with the server’s greatest enemy. After a week with each other, Dream kills Tommy after he kills the cat he has and screams his doubt about the resurrection book. Sam, the warden of the prison, feels guilt about Tommy’s death. The whole server mourns (except for the Syndicate). Jack Manifold, previously an ally to Tommy who worked with Niki to kill Tommy due to the bad things he’s done (I forget the exact events that led them to vengeance, but sometimes I don’t like Tommy’s vibes so I assume it’s related to that), realizes that this wasn’t what he wanted and mourns.

However, Tommy is ressurected by Dream; the book has been real the whole time, and Tommy regrets keeping Dream alive. He doesn’t want to bring Wilbur back anymore, but he also doesn’t have the strength to kill Dream. I don’t think anyone realizes Tommy’s alive yet.

All while this is happening, the “Badlands” ruled by Badboyhalo, Antfrost, and Skeppy (among others, I forget their names) are getting posessed by a giant red egg; their goal is to spread the egg’s corruption, which slowly has taken over the lands of L’manburg and the Dream SMP area.

Captain Puffy seeks the help of the Techno to destroy the egg.

Aaand that’s all I know. 

[eystuary]

Welcome to the fishing line!!

Hello everyone, welcome to @eystuary if you like my art or want to see more of what I draw, Do consider leaving a follow and reblog any pieces that make you smile! My name is Estrella, though I go by Est or Estrey. I’m currently a self taught artist just making art for fun! My pronouns are she/they, and I’m 20 years old, my birthday is in September making me a Virgo. My Mbti + enneagram test say I’m an ISFP 9w1. My art tag is #Eyst or #Artest (Please don’t follow, if you ship real people, inc*st ships, are a minor attracted persons, kink account, terf, ddlc/cgl, and anything in between what's listed) [Do not repost my art period. Sharing in discord servers and using them as icons is fine, as long as you reblog and leave a like on the original post!! linking people back to my blog is also appreciated as well.]

I’ve recently moved from my main blog @cubed-melon​. I made the decision to start fresh mostly for organization sake, since @cubed-melon​ is so full of content that isn’t my art work, and is just old in general, feel free to look through my old blog if you’d like, My art tag is Artest it mostly consist of Tower of god artwork. I also have an old splatoon art blog @coroinka​ that I have not posted on since maybe early 2020-2019 you may also check that out if you’d like!! click read more if you want to learn more rules or other fun facts about me!

Ask/submissions/dms

I am always open to both asks and submissions as for what I allow to be asked is a another thing here is a list of things you are welcomed to send,

- Questions you have about me or my art

- Art request or suggestions

- small talk/ conversation

- pictures of your pets dogs, cats, birds, reptiles etc

- whatever comes to mind!!

- clarifications, warnings, reminders, ect. You may always message me if I forget to tag something, or if you have any other issues with something I post, please contact me about it in my asks/dms first, and I’ll do my best to resolve whatever I can!! Just work with me and I’ll see what  I can do!!

- if you just need someone to chat with at any given time

What not so ask or send

-Anything listed on my Do not interact section of this post with reason

- Anything hurtful or cruel about me or anyone I’m friends with.

- Most drama or discourse (unless its something you desperately think I should be aware of!)

-unironic threats of violence against myself or others.

I have the right to choose not to respond to asks, submissions, and dms. If I choose, I’ll do my best to respond to what I can, but apologize to the ones I can’t.

Here is the section of my pinned post where I can go into a bit more detail about what I like!!

I enjoy a good handful of media, and would love to talk about them with anyone at any given time as I do enjoy meeting others and making friends through shared interest!!

Most recently I’ve been really into Genshin Impact, so it's been my focus as of recently ! but don’t be surprised if you see me drawing for other series, or my own original works, as my blog is focused on me just drawing what makes me smile, and in turn I hope it brings joy to others as well!!

Here is a small list of things I like. I'll try and update this every few months if something new happens to make the list!! other hobbies outside of art include but not limited to -Fishing even though I haven’t gone since I was little!! -Gardening, my favorite plants in my garden right now are my sunflowers, and zucchini plants!! also the lemon cucumbers <3 -Voice work/Voice acting, I never really practiced much until recently, but its something I do enjoy!! - Playing games and watching shows -sewing I’ve made a total of two quilts !! Top 5 favorite Fictional characters -25th Bam from Tower of God -Minamoto Koh | from Toilet-bound hanako kun -Bennett | From Genshin Impact -Pearl | From Splatoon 2 - Maki Zenin | From Jujutsu kaisen

Anime/tv series/manga series

-Mob psycho 100

-Demon slayer/Kimetsu no yabia

-Toilet-bound hanako kun

-The promised neverland

-Jujutsu kaisen

- Hunter x Hunter

-Tower of god !!

Video game series

-Genshin impact

-Splatoon

-Pokemon

-Animal crossing

-Hollow knight

[omoi-no-hoka]

How to Choose Japanese Manga/Books for Studying

In an ask recently, a user asked me what reading materials I recommend to study with. 

I’ve covered the standard textbooks here, and today I’ll talk about how you can determine whether an authentic material is suitable for your studies. All of this advice is based upon my studies in SLA (Second Language Acquisition) and TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages), as well as my personal experience learning Japanese. 

What’s an Authentic Material?

Authentic materials are print, video, and audio that are not classroom materials, but are things made for Japanese (or any other target language) speakers. A mock advertisement in your textbook is not an authentic material because it is not made for a Japanese person, but an actual Help Wanted ad in a Japanese newspaper is an authentic material.

Authentic materials can be just about anything audio or visual. Manga, light novels, newspapers, magazines, jpop songs, anime, news broadcast, etc. 

Today I’m just going to focus on visual authentic materials, but if there’s interest I could make a future post about audio materials too. 

1. Decide Your Method of Reading: Intensive or Extensive

When reading to study a foreign language, there are two different ways to go about it, intensive reading or extensive reading.

Intensive Reading 

Reading and looking up every single word you do not know, even words that aren’t essential to understanding the main points of the story. 

Pros: you learn a lot more vocab

Cons: it takes considerably longer to make progress

In order to do this method effectively (and by effectively I mean “resist chucking your book out the window in a fit of rage”), you must comprehend ~70%* of the content.

Extensive Reading 

Basically what you do when you read in your native language. You read each page, and even if you come across a word you don’t know, you keep going. You only look up words that keep coming up, or that hinder your overall comprehension of what’s going on. 

Pros: you cover more ground and get a bigger sense of accomplishment

Cons: you can miss out on smaller details

In order to do this method effectively, you must comprehend ~90% of the content.

Neither reading method is better than the other. Choose which style suits your personality best. Personally, I’m one of those people that has to know every last morsel about everything, so I only do intensive reading. 

2. Determine How Difficult a Material Is

Up above I said you had to be able to comprehend either 70 or 90 percent of the content depending on the method you want to go with.

In extensive reading, you need to be able to understand almost all the words because you can’t stop to look up a ton of stuff. If you have to look up 15 words on a page because you can’t understand what’s going on, you’re not doing extensive reading--you’re doing intensive reading. 

Now, as for the 70% I put on the intensive reading, there’s a bit of give with that, depending on how patient you are haha. If you’re okay with a crawling pace, the comprehension could be 10% if you want. But if you’re like me and you’re a bit hasty, you’re going to want to be able to comprehend around 70-80% of the vocab. 

So how do you figure out how difficult the content is? Pick a random page and the first 100 words on it, and count the words you didn’t know. Subtract the words you didn’t know from 100, and the answer will tell you roughly how much you can comprehend of the text. Easy, right? 

3. What Makes a Bad Material

I’m betting that anime/manga is what got most of us interested in learning Japanese, and there’s probably that one really nostalgic manga you’re dying to read in its original Japanese format.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but just because you love a series doesn’t make it a good learning material. 

Things to Avoid in a Material

Lots of technical, scientific, or military jargon

I know that this wipes out a large swath of series, but the point of reading this is to learn Japanese, and there’s a good chance that most of the vocab you would learn would not be usable in conversation. Why waste the time learning 白刃取り (catching a blade between two palms) when you could be learning something more practical? 

Period works (Edo Era and further back)

Many (but not all) period pieces contain a bunch of obsolete words, and the last thing you want to be is one of those gaijin that uses “gozaru” unironically. I tried using the expression 村八分 (ostracism) and got laughed at by my coworkers just last month because that just makes people think of villages in the Edo period.

Long Chapters

Particularly if you’re doing the Intensive Reading method, it’s important to give yourself a sense of accomplishment. It took me an hour to read one page of a book for one of my classes, and 30 hours to read ONE chapter. It was the most frustrating and endless experience I’ve had to date. Pick manga (because chapters are short) or short stories. (I really recommend Hoshi Shinichi’s “short-short” stories.)

Don’t be like poor Kagome

4. What Makes a Good Material

I have saved the most important condition for your material until last. 

Are you ready?

Here it is:

Make sure it’s something you like!

I know that this is so basic I shouldn’t even have to say it. But listen, for one of my Japanese courses in uni, I had a semester to read one of Haruki Murakami’s novellas. It was the most difficult and frustrating semester I had because not only was it super hard for me vocab-wise, it was boring as hell. I didn’t enjoy the story, and the ending was so

alskfjksldfjsd

It’s been 6 years and I’m still triggered. It was awful, and it made me feel like all of this toil, all of this suffering, had been for nothing. I thought that I hated reading in Japanese. But actually, when I pushed myself to try reading a manga I liked, I learned that I didn’t hate reading Japanese--

--I just hated reading Murakami.

If you find a material that is the right difficulty level and is appropriate for your purposes but you don’t find it interesting, it’s likely that you’ll get bored of it and quit halfway through. But if you like a material enough, even if it is too difficult for your current level, your love for it can give you the extra boost of motivation you need to push through it. 

My favorite manga series of all time is Rurouni Kenshin. It was the first anime I ever watched, and it kinda started me down the road I’m on. So I decided to read the manga, and oh man is it a chore. I’ve read 14 volumes and have looked up 1,577 words as of today. It has a bunch of obsolete Japanese, it has so many sword words holy bejeezus (this is where I learned 白刃取り, btw), and it can take me hours to get through a chapter sometimes. 

But I love that series with everything I am, so I don’t care how long it takes. 

Really, what matters more than anything is that it’s something you are really invested and interested in.

5. How Soon Can I Start Reading Authentic Materials?

Did you know that the average native Japanese person cannot read a newspaper until they are a freshman in high school? That is how hard Japanese is. For the native speakers.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer here, but I would recommend you wait to use most authentic materials until you are N3 or N2. I finally began feeling comfortable reading stuff in Japanese around when I passed the N2. I understand that Chi’s Sweet Home is popular for beginners, so that isn’t to say that there are no authentic materials to be found for new learners, but they are very hard to find. 

But hey, if you are determined enough, there is nothing that can stop you from reading what you love, and nothing worth having is easily won. Ganbatte!

[aion-rsa]

Inside the Mortal Kombat Movie’s Bloody Love Letter to Martial Arts

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About 10 hours into a November 2019 flight to Australia and the set of Warner Bros. Mortal Kombat reboot, I started to ask myself whether this was all worth it. I loved the original Mortal Kombat movie about as much as anyone unironically can, but the fact remains that the history of live-action video game film adaptations is paved with disappointment. Even the best movies in that field have earned their reputation largely by exceeding low expectations.

After nearly 30 years of failed attempts, it’s hard to even picture what a good live-action video game movie might look like. What is it about the transition from sprites to screen that makes this process so difficult? Is this a pursuit that is, in some ways, doomed to be dictated by those who see such films as another piece of merchandise? What will it take to finally break the curse? Those questions raced through my jetlagged brain as I finally made it to Adelaide and prepared to see what awaited me on the other side of the world. 

Shortly into my visit, I was taken off my feet by a line that hit me like an MK player mercilessly spamming a leg sweep. It came in the form of this line from producer Todd Garner that reshaped my expectations and set the tone for what proved to be something that was very much worth the trip and perhaps worthy of your own wait:

“I think it’s great that there are a lot of characters, a lot of lore, and let’s do it all well. But really, people want to fuck each other up.”

Gore and Lore

Garner was, of course, mostly joking. Yet, there is a truth in many jokes, and the truth in this one seemed to be that managing what the Mortal Kombat canon has become can be a daunting task. It’s certainly not made any easier by the fact that there haven’t been many undisputedly great video game movies for the team to work with and use as precedent. 

In lieu of notable live-action video game adaptations that made good on their ambition, the film’s production team turned to a source that most would agree has. 

“It’s like the Marvel Universe…it’s endless,” says Garner of the Mortal Kombat game franchise. “So we started from the premise ‘What would Marvel do?’”

It’s a useful question that the upcoming Mortal Kombat movie answers in fascinating ways. For instance, as Garner noted, the MCU didn’t start with The Avengers; it started with Iron Man. That film allowed Marvel Studios to ease viewers into a project that was, in its own ways, also somewhat unprecedented. Similarly, the Mortal Kombat movie uses the character of Cole Young as a kind of audience surrogate. He’s a new face in this universe who is also trying to figure all of this out. 

It’s all part of a delicate balancing act that requires the cast and crew to constantly ask themselves how this movie looks to a diehard fan and how it will look to someone who is just coming into this. 

“There are five million people that play this game religiously, but there are 100s of millions of people in the world,” Garner says. “We didn’t want the other 95 million people to go, ‘What the fuck is this. What is this tone, what the fuck is happening?’”

It’s easy to understand how fans could quickly become overwhelmed. If you haven’t played the more recent Mortal Kombat games, you may be surprised to learn that they’ve adopted a complex serial storytelling narrative that combines years of mythology as well as the events of the most recent games. If you tried jumping into Mortal Kombat 11’s interdimensional, time-jumping story, without at least an explainer of what came before, you’d probably think it was madness. Amusing madness, perhaps, but madness nonetheless. 

As it turns out, even Mortal Kombat director Simon McQuoid had a lot of catching up to do. 

“I feel like I went to Mortal Kombat university,” says McQuoid regarding the experience of learning the intricacies of the franchise. “I also surrounded myself with a lot of people who know a lot more about this than me.”

In the same way that 1995’s Mortal Kombat benefited from director Paul W.S. Anderson seeking and utilizing fan and crew feedback, McQuoid’s own desire to surround himself with lifelong MK fans is just one of the ways that the crew is determined to ensure they don’t make the mistake others have before them by straying too far from the desires of those who helped make the Mortal Kombat franchise worthy of adaptation in the first place. His efforts ultimately come down to honoring an important word. 

“The word I use a lot is ‘respect,’” says McQuoid. “Respect for the fans, respect for the characters, and respect for the canon. The execution ultimately takes that into consideration from the absolute bedrock of listening to and understanding the fans.”

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Of course, as Garner previously eloquently noted, what many Mortal Kombat fans are looking for is over-the-top violence executed with flair. That is a big part of what made the original Mortal Kombat stand out in a crowded arcade scene, and it is certainly one of the qualities that have stayed with the series as it has evolved into this surprising vehicle for complex narratives and diverse characters. 

Fatality!

Of course, you can’t talk about Mortal Kombat violence without coming around to fatalities. What began as now strangely humble decapitations and spine extractions has evolved into a bloody ballet of highly choreographed violent ends that account for the lore and ability of every character. It’s something that was largely missing from the 1995 adaptation, and it’s something that Garner admits can be tricky to get right. 

“There’s crazy shit you can do in the game,” Garner says. “The problem with the fatalities, in general, is…I’m under the restrictions of the Motion Picture Association of America so I have to live inside those rules.”

In case you haven’t seen the recently released trailer, let me assure you now that the MPAA has not scared the team away from incorporating fatalities and MK’s other, bloodiest elements. In fact, McQuoid is practically at sea with the amount of blood on set. 

“I don’t know the gallon number, but I’ve seen drums of blood sitting around,” McQuoid informs his audience of gorehounds with a smile. 

So yes, there will be blood and lots of it in the Mortal Kombat reboot, but the team isn’t relying on the presence of blood alone to fulfill their equally important mission of telling a Mortal Kombat story as compelling as the ones featured in the games. Actually, they recognize that there are times when extreme amounts of violence can work against the dark tones that help make the franchise’s universe so compelling. 

“When I wanted a serious moment I didn’t want it to get comedic because we’re swashing blood,” McQuoid says. “It’s a tonal thing…you really need to feel it all instead of having people say ‘Oh, that’s funny.’” 

Besides, there are other ways to convey the series’ violent nature and brutal style that doesn’t necessarily require a drum of blood. From the first game in the franchise, Mortal Kombat has nodded to at least the cinematic history of martial arts. Whereas that series initially struggled to convey the fluidity and complexity of the best martial arts fights, though, the MK movie team has set a high bar for themselves. 

“The first thing I said to [stunt coordinator Kyle Gardiner] was “Okay, Kyle, you have to make the best fights that have ever been on film,” reveals McQuoid.

To anyone with a passing familiarity with the best fight scenes in film history, that idea has to come across as an absurd bit of hype. However, it starts to make a lot more sense when you look at the cast they’ve assembled. 

Choose Your Fighter

For a generation of fans raised on ‘80s action films and many major Hollywood genre productions that came after, it’s become somewhat easy to buy into the idea that untrained or largely untrained actors, bodybuilders, and models are the biggest badasses on the big screen. There’s a degree to which that’s what actors are supposed to do, but anyone who grew up on Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee or later found films such as The Raid and Ong-Bak can tell you that there’s nothing quite like watching uniquely talented martial artists push the boundaries of fight scenes by translating their real-world talents into cinematic splendor. In fact, the original Mortal Kombat arcade game was partially inspired by a desire to make a game that felt worthy of a John Claude Van Damme action film.

When it comes to getting Mortal Kombat right, then, there’s little doubt that the only way to go was to cast an all-star collection of martial artists and trained fighters rather than teach a cast of movie stars to look like they can do the things these guys can. However, I can’t emphasize enough just how crazy it was to watch even just snippets of what this essential superteam of martial artists push themselves to do when you put them in a room. Even those who have spent a considerable amount of time around the cast still express awe at what they’ve seen. 

“I’ve never made a movie like this before with this much fighting in it,” says Garner. “I don’t know what’s going on half the time, but they really are the best in the business…It’s so fast and even the camera is like, ‘Guys, can you slow down a little bit?’”

In some ways, the heart of this assembly feels like Sub-Zero actor Joe Taslim. As a renowned martial artist who many of us first saw in The Raid: Redemption, many action fans know that Taslim is the real deal. What you may not know is that Taslim is something of a Mortal Kombat superfan. His name was even tossed around a few times on the shortlist of best MK players on-set, as well as by some who suggested that Taslim helped set the pace (and raise the bar) for the speed of the action sequences. 

Then you have Tadanobu Asano as Raiden. As a legend of the Japanese film scene who has garnered more international acclaim in recent years by virtue of his work in 47 Ronin, Battleship, and the Thor films, Asano feels uniquely capable of playing the thunder god whose abilities sometimes set the standard in a universe of powerful fighters. He embodies the character so clearly that he’s already got his eye on the out of universe competition 

“Yeah, I can fight [Chris Hemsworth],” suggested Asano with a smile at the prospect of a Thor vs. Raiden film.

There also Max Huang who portrays Kung Lao: a beloved fan character who was sadly missing from the previous live-action adaptations. For him, the chance to finally bring that character to life echoes his own desire to further his transition from a celebrated stunt coordinator to a bonafide action hero.

“People like Bruce Lee were my heroes,” says Huang. “The ultimate goal was to become an actor, but there were few chances. A lot of times, it would just be a one-liner and that was it. These last few years I figured ‘you only have one life,’ so I just went for it.”

Few people are more qualified to speak on that subject than Liu Kang actor, Ludi Lin. As an advocate for representation in Hollywood, Lin has previously said how a lack of representation or even the wrong kind of representation can lead to feelings of shame and even isolation. For Lin, working with this many talented martial artists on a major Western production isn’t just a chance to showcase his own abilities; it’s a chance to help millions feel like they’re being seen. 

“Look, 60% of the world is Asian. A quarter of the world is Chinese,” says Lin. “I just don’t understand why there can only be one [in Hollywood films].”

Increased representation is always important, but at a time when violence against Asian Americans is on the rise, it stands to reason that the portrayal and prominence of Asian actors on film may be on more minds than ever before. So far as that goes, Mortal Kombat is uniquely positioned to not only showcase Asian heroes but pay respect to the clear Asian influences on the Mortal Kombat series in a way that the MK titles (especially the older installments) didn’t necessarily do before.

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“From my experience working with Simon [McQuoid], I’ve never worked with someone that’s so serious about being that authentic for another culture,” says Lin. “Just walking on set…on this film, there are so many different types of people of different ethnicities, different origins, and different backgrounds. It really represents the world.”

I could go on. Legendary Japanese action star Hiroyuki Sanada as Scorpion, the beloved Chin Han as Shang Tsung, rising star Mehcad Brooks as Jax…even non-action stars or martial artists like Kano actor Josh Lawson have found how they fit into this legendary assembly of cast and characters. 

“I was just saying to Asano-san, ‘Kano, he’s only funny because he’s balancing you guys,’” notes Lawson. “On his own, it’s nothing. But as a see-saw, the more seriously these guys take the mysticism and the power, the less seriously I can take it. That’s where the comedy exists. He can walk in and tell them, ‘Fucking hell.’”

Who is Lewis Tan?

With so much of the fun for fans coming from watching their favorite MK fighters come to life and battle on the big screen, it’s hardly a surprise that it’s one of the new characters, Lewis Tan as Cole Young, who has attracted so much early attention. How will he fit into a roster of such established characters? It’s a question that Tan is relieved to finally be able to answer.

“It’s just nice to even be able to talk about the character because there was so much speculation and hype up until this point about which character I’m playing,” Tan says with noted relief. “I wear Ray Bans a lot so people were like, ‘Oh, he’s Johnny Cage. [laughs]’”

He may not be Johnny Cage, even if Tan’s effortless charm and movie star looks make him a prime candidate for the role, but it’s incredible how easily the Cole character seems to fit into this universe of iconic characters. Along those same lines, Tan seems to have quickly established himself among a roster of top-tier martial arts and action actors. In some ways, his vocal enthusiasm for the project best captures the set’s general vibe.

“I don’t want to jinx it either but I can truthfully tell you, I felt magic when I got here and it’s been crazy ever since then,” says Tan of his experience until that point. “It’s crazy because I’m really hard on myself and I’m really hard on the work that I do. Sometimes I’m like, ‘Oh, this wasn’t it.’ And then I’ll see a little of a rough cut of what Simon was doing and then I’m like, ‘Oh. It’s amazing.’ There’s some stuff that I wasn’t on set for and then I saw that stuff and I’m like, ‘That’s the best thing I’ve ever seen.’”

Of course, it’s hard to talk about bringing Mortal Kombat to life without the people who quite literally help do just that. 

Exploding Heads and Blown Minds

At one point during my set visit, I found myself standing on a stunning recreation of the bridge that crosses the chasm on the iconic Mortal Kombat stage known as The Pit. It was a massive construction impressively built to serve as both a showcase piece and an actual set practically designed as the stage for one of the film’s fight scenes. 

The team informed us that the general philosophy was to ensure that (almost) anything that could be done practically was done practically. A green screen was used sparingly to solve otherwise impossible problems. It’s an approach that appeases the old-school movie fans among us while honoring the raw nature of the older Mortal Kombat games which typically emphasized visceral visuals over more refined sensibilities.

The Mortal Kombat movie actually finds a fascinating middle ground between those concepts. For instance, the film’s costumes showcase the kind of wear and tear that you’d expect to see in outfits worn by warriors locked in an eternal battle, but they’re also designed to not only honor cultural concepts but the idea that some of this armor was designed to be somewhat ornamental at one point in time. They’re refined but appropriately ugly.

The film’s weapons are really on another level. Weapons have become increasingly important to the Mortal Kombat fighting styles over the years, and this film honors that concept through an arsenal of carefully constructed instruments of death that somehow treat even the most seemingly impractical of weapons with a logic that has perhaps only previously been dwelled on by the series’ biggest fans.

No detail was overlooked in pursuit of making sure every character had a weapon that the actor could hold in their hand and feel the power of. From ornate katanas to swords made of ice, the props team clearly fell in love with the opportunity to make even the absurd a reality. We even saw a garden gnome suspiciously snuck into the small arsenal they had crafted. 

Again, though, what stood out most is the prop team’s insistence that many of these weapons didn’t just need to look good on-screen. Many of them needed to be balanced and practical enough to be used in battle simply because many of them were actually going to be used in the film’s fight scenes. I don’t know how the weapon designs will come across in the final film, but my gut feeling is that the fight scenes that they allow for will immediately be appreciated.

One other area where those efforts will almost certainly be immediately appreciated by everyone watching the movie is the makeup and practical effects. The makeup trailer I stepped in was loaded with masks, body parts, and the carnage of many early morning marathon makeup sessions. It looked closer to a horror movie than an action film or video game adaptation. That should be music to the ears of any fans that recognize that one of the things that helped the Mortal Kombat series stand out over the years are the horror tones that were used to help craft characters, stages, and most certainly the fatalities. 

While we weren’t treated to a fatality viewing while on-set, the team was good enough to describe an exploding head that they were working on for an upcoming shoot. Where that exploding head will rank among the best of all-time (a list that includes films like Scanners, Maniac, and The Prowler) remains to be seen, but their approach sounded fascinating. By utilizing a silicone glass head filled with blood and guts and triggered by an air cannon, the scene figures to pay homage to the techniques of the best such effects of old while utilizing modern advancements designed out of necessity and perhaps a desire to help raise the bar. 

It wasn’t long into my trip that the cast and crew emphasized the number of practical effects being utilized, and I certainly understand why. They not only look great, but the fact that so much effort went into ensuring these design elements offer something so much more than good looks seems to perfectly capture the spirit of the movie’s mission to make something that is so much more than it has to be.

Flawless Victory?

If the biggest “advantage” of low expectations is the idea that even lesser efforts can somehow exceed them, then the biggest disadvantage of the expectations set by many live-action video game movies to date is getting people to genuinely feel excited. There’s a big difference between crafting something that makes you think “That could have been worse,” and making a movie that inspires the genuine belief that this isn’t just going to be something different; this is going to be something special. 

The highest compliment I can pay to Mortal Kombat is that the genuine excitement expressed by everyone on-set went well beyond a cast and crew that were just happy to be there or felt that what they were doing was good enough. From those who couldn’t wait to play some of their favorite characters to those who were eager to finally showcase what they do best via a production that’s scale equaled the scope of their talents, there was a smile on everyone’s face as they told you what they were working on with the full knowledge that what they were about to say was something so far beyond what you expected. 

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I don’t know if Mortal Kombat will “break the curse.” I don’t even know if it will satisfy a legion of MK fans who have had their expectations forever raised by the recent games’ own increasingly cinematic efforts. What I can tell you is that it’s ok to feel excited about Mortal Kombat. Actually, you probably should be excited about Mortal Kombat. I can assure you that everyone working on the film very much is. That, in and of itself, is a victory.

The post Inside the Mortal Kombat Movie’s Bloody Love Letter to Martial Arts appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[themetaisawesome]

“Aunt Kate”

Description: Kate Kane is home alone on her night off when an old friend knocks on her door to ask for a big favor in a small package.

Rating: F for fluffy

Note: This isn’t really aligned with any canon. I basically made a little fanon for it out of various pieces from multiple sources.

June 20th is my best friend Sam’s ( @thefingerfuckingfemalefury ) birthday, so to celebrate I wrote her this little fic. Sadly, my mind slipped on the date today and this is coming out late.

Happy birthday, Sam! Hope you had a good one!

“I’m sorry, what?” Kate Kane asked.

Selina Wayne nee Kyle stood in the doorway, holding little Helena in her arm and a diaper bag over her shoulder. “It’ll just be for one night. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to pick her up. Mid-afternoon at the latest.”

Kate opened her mouth to say something, but Selina quickly interjected again. “And before you say anything, I am not breaking my promise with Bruce. This isn’t a heist or a jailbreak. I’m just helping out some friends with… an unusual problem.”

“Does Bruce know what you’re doing?” Kate asked with a tone that made it clear she doubted he knew anything about this. Selina’s hesitation in responding confirmed her suspicion.

“What’s a little secret every now and then between a husband and wife?” she finally replied.

“Who are these “friends” you’re helping out tonight?”

Selina shrugged as casually as she could with a baby in one arm and a bag on the other. “The Sirens are back together for one night only.”

“I thought you hated Poison Ivy.”

“Hate is a strong word. Pam barely makes the top ten in number of attempts on my life. Besides, it’s really hard to say no to Harley. Even over the phone. That girl has too much power.”

That much was true. Even most of Arkham’s past and present finest had something resembling a soft spot for Harley.

“Selina, let’s start at the beginning. Where did I fall on your list of options to handle this?” Kate asked.

Selina started at the very top of that list. “Bruce is out of town on a company retreat that he couldn’t get out of, and Alfred is still on very strong painkillers after the Condiment King debacle last week. He’s in no shape to be looking after a child, no matter his protests to the contrary.”

“What about Dick?”

“Unavailable. He claimed the Titans were running some vital operation, but I could hear Mar’i making a ruckus in the background.”

“Dick couldn’t lie to save his life. Did you try Barbara?”

“With the Birds on some mission that is so secret that if I continued to ask questions Barbara said she’d hack into every piece of technology I own until the day I die.”

“What about Cass?”

“She’s on patrol duty with Damian, Duke, and Harper tonight.”

“Right. Stephanie?”

“With her mom out of town.”

“Tim?”

“On the moon with his Young Justice friends.”

“How about Batwing?”

“Luke is at the retreat with Bruce and Lucius.”

“How about…” Kate struggled to come up with a name for a second, as they had already run though so many of their mutual masked colleagues. “I don’t know, what about Lian Harper? I hear she babysits superkids.”

“I do not have time to fly out to Star City, hand my baby over to a 12 year old I’ve never met, and then fly out to D-... where I need to be tonight.”

Kate frowned. “You’re seriously not even going to tell me where Harley and Ivy are asking you to meet them?”

Selina was speechless just long enough to incriminate herself before she put on an awkward smile. “What’s a few little secrets between old friends like you and I?”

“Selina,” Kate said as she massaged the area around a newly made scar on her forehead, “aside from everyone else being unavailable, what made you think I could handle something like this in the first place? I don’t know the first thing about-”

“You’re great with kids! You became a mom before I did!”

“I didn’t meet Jamie until she 8, and I haven’t been in the prolonged company of a baby since I was one with my sister.”

“That’s still more experience than I have. There’s really not that much difference between a 1 and 8 year old. Besides, you’ll have Maggie and Jamie to-”

“No I won’t. Mags is in Metropolis visiting a friend until Sunday, and Jamie is at a sleepover.”

“Please, Kate,” Selina pleaded. “I know this is last minute, but that’s only because I just got the call myself. I need someone to look after Helena.”

“Have you considered that this is a job for Superman?”

“Tried. Mrs. Lane-Kent has him occupied tonight. And before you say anything, the other Leaguers I managed to get a hold of are busy.”

Kate went through the list of Bats and friends in her head one more time. Gordon and Leslie didn’t know Selina as well Kate knew her, even if she had been married to Bruce for the past two years. Kate knew Victoria was away at a conference, Bette was still in West Point, Basil was in Hollywood, and Azrael was not to be trusted with anyone’s children. Ever.

“What about Jason?” Kate asked, realizing she had someone failed to mention him earlier.

Selina’s expression suddenly turned serious. “He is not allowed to look after my child alone. Not after last time.”

Kate never did find out all the details of that particular incident. Superheroes had a way of keeping secrets for a variety of reasons, many of which seemed needlessly dramatic. The sum total of Kate’s second hand knowledge of the incident was that Jason Todd recently had sole supervision over Helena Wayne and at least four other children of various Justice League members and associates over the span of 9 hours. The period ended with at least six explosions, the foiling of a Satanic ritual, the loss of a teddy bear’s eye, and 36.4 million dollars of damage to public property. Jason Todd made more enemies that night than he ever had as Robin or Red Hood.

“Fair enough,” Kate replied. Then, she realized something. “Hey, wait a minute. I come after all of the sidekicks when you need someone to watch Helena?”

Selina blinked. “Kate, I’ve been trying to convince you for the past five minutes straight, and now you’re offended that I didn’t come to you sooner?”

“...fair point, but still, on principle, I should’ve been asked first after Bruce and Alfred. I was the first one to the hospital when you gave birth. I even bought a “cool gay aunt” shirt.”

“And a cool gay aunt would leap at the chance to babysit!” 

“Not without help!”

Selina opened her mouth to speak again, but paused before a word escaped her lips. She took a breath, and then placed her free hand on Kate’s shoulder, the diaper bag at her shoulder swinging slightly. The gaze she used on Kate, with those big, beautiful eyes of hers, gave away exactly how she was going to get Kate to do this for her. “Please, Kate. I need you.” Even after all this time, after all the hijinks and misadventures that she had caused, Catwoman could still use that sensual voice of hers to get anything she wanted. Though, the little routine they had together was hampered this time by the presence of her toddler.

“That’s funnier when you do it in front of Bruce,” Kate pointed out, recalling all the times Selina flirted with her to get a reaction out of the grump who she would one day marry, “less funny when you do it in front of your child.”

“I still have some time before she can really understand what’s going on around her. I’m not corrupting her yet.”

Kate sighed. “Fine. Hand her over.”

Selina’s smile grew twice as wide. She turned her child in her arms to face her, planting a series of kisses that only a mother could give. “Alright, Helena,” she cooed, using a motherly tone that Kate didn’t think Selina could use unironically, “you be good for Aunt Katie while mommy’s gone!” She handed both baby and bag to Kate, adding, “I wrote down everything you need to know on a notepad in the bag. Don’t worry, Aunt Katie, you’ll be great.”

“You owe me for this. And don’t call me Katie in front of your kid.”

With the sudden closing of the door, Kate Kane was left alone with the youngest of the Bat children. Helena, being a one year old, looked at her aunt with a confused expression, as one year olds are wont to do. It was something that Kate could sympathize with, as this wasn’t how she envisioned spending the little amount of free time that a life of superheroics allowed her.

After an unbearable amount of silence between the two, Kate asked, “I guess you wanna watch something like Spongebob, huh?”

Helena blew a raspberry in response.

This is going to be a long night, Kate thought.

[jerkdouglas]

Jerk recommend me some good cartoons and video games.

HMMM.... So the thing about GOOD shows is that a lot of them start out good but then languish and become dramatic and awful. I think pound for pound, Mighty Magiswords is the best for me, because it’s got zero unfunny taint from bitch dramatics. But it may wear on others because it’s too doofity and sillypants. Other than that, early seasons of Steven Universe and Star vs the Forces of Evil are fun but be warned, things really drop off a goddamn cliff with both and they become absolute blah. That being said, the new Ducktales is an absolute powerhouse with only a few schmaltzy bits to get stuck on.

DC superhero cartoons are generally pretty good across the board. Marvel cartoons are often beyond terrible save for Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes which is clever and fun. I like very few adult swim cartoons cuz most of them are just stoner wank, but Venture Brothers and Metalocalypse were very consistent experiences. Hot Streets is the penultimate idiot doofus stream of conciousness shit I tend to write so it’s funny to me, Rick and Morty is damn good but I’ve noticed people on 4chan complaining about it because they all think they’re smarter than God. One of my favorites is Mr Pickles because it’s a real spectacle or retarded violent shit set at an overwhelming pace. I like a lot of animes, one of my favorites right now that I unironically suggest is Shokugeki no Soma (food wars) because they execute the idiotic faux drama extremely well. Dr Stone is fun at the moment but it’s ongoing, and who wants to wait week after week? My Hero Academia is cool but again, ongoing. Best to save that shit up. And I’ve always been a One Piece fan. Most animes is the same. But I will say the spinoff anime “Railgun” is way better than the main series “Magical Index”, which I think is impossibly boring by comparison even though I always liked the main character guy for not being a wimpy cunt. I play a lot of roguelike videogames... I have a zillion hours in binding of isaac, and half a billion in risk of rain, most recently I lost a few weeks to streets of rogue, but I’m over it now and never want to look at it again. Every year I play through Terraria until I get bored of stockpiling like an autistic wizard.  I hate the piss out of dark souls but I really really enjoy Sekiro because it captures serious samurai drama and high stakes in the swordplay. I think the quick clang/dodge around made me happy whereas idiotic i-frame dodge roll slog made me angry.  And I like both of the Prey games. The old Prey is a crazy breakout super bleeding edge concept FPS that did portals almost better than Portal did, among maaany other things that were ahead of their time, and of course it got completely ignored. Then the new Prey is really quite honestly one of the coolest games I’ve ever played, it being an insanely sober, thoughtful thrillride with serious conservation mechanics. And it likewise got mostly ignored. And for this reason I don’t believe people really understand what a good game is.  For story stuff, the telltale Walking Dead was actually pretty great for one go through. I just got really deep into the character dialogue system cuz it flowed really well, and there were a lot of choice moments to say absolutely nothing to dramatic effect. Not sure if their other products are of that level of quality. Anyways that’s some things.

[knifeonmars]

Desert Island Comics, Part 1

I'm moving this month, for the fairly exciting reason of attending graduate school, and one of the stranger and more distressing things in the lead up to that is that I've had to put the vast majority of my unnecessarily sprawling library of comics into storage. I have been able to fit a small amount into my luggage to take with me, so I thought that I might write about what I've taken with me and why. The comics I chose to save also probably say something about my tastes and who I am as a person, so there's that. In paring things down I was primarily concerned with stuff that I could read over and over as well as lend to anyone who might be interested. Sexcastle - Kyle Starks I'm a huge fan of Kyle Starks, and while I had a few options to choose from, I went with Sexcastle for the reason that it was his first big book and as such is a great encapsulation of his whole approach. Silliness and violence masking deep introspection and a genuine unironic appreciation of action tropes. Through the Woods - Emily Carroll Emily Carroll is a complete rockstar and this book is gorgeous and creepy and endlessly engrossing. I love revisiting it and it's a great book to give to someone who doesn't have much interest in comics as most people know them. HP Lovecraft's The Hound and Other Stories - Adapted by Gou Tanabe I'll be honest, this one isn't here so much for any personal connection, more that I've only read it once and I think it could merits rereading. Also, as my Masters program is English, it's somewhat pertinent to my interests. Godzilla: The Half Century War - James Stokoe I just love James Stokoe's work so much. I had a few of his books to choose from, but I went with The Half-Century War because while it's a licensed work, it still feels passionate and personal, and unlike the awesome but sadly incomplete Orc Stain, it's a complete story. It's also a pretty easy sell to lend to someone, which while unlikely, is something I consider important. Superman: Secret Identity - Kurt Busiek, Stuart Immonen, Todd Klein Probably the second best Superman story ever in my opinion, even though Secret Identity, strictly speaking, isn't really about "Superman" at all. But it so beautifully gets to the heart of the character, the humanity and the responsibility of it, that it's very much a definitive take on the character for me. It's also a largely relaxing read, free from misery and angst, and despite what the rest of this list may suggest, I do actually like a nice comforting read once in a while. Batman: Year One - Frank Miller, David Mazzucchelli, Todd Klein, Richmond Lewis Of Frank Miller's much vaunted Batman work, Year One holds up best. It's gorgeous, human, and oh so memorable despite, or perhaps because of, how low key it is. There's no big name supervillains or anything, but this is the ur-example of a pseudo-realistic Batman and also the best execution of that premise. It's such a classic that it barely needs elaboration, so I couldn't leave it behind. Extremity - Daniel Warren Johnson, Mike Spicer, Rus Wooton Daniel Warren Johnson's recently concluded creator owned series might not be on everyone's radar, but it certainly should be. Described by critics as Mad Max meets Naussica in the Valley of the Wind, it's a bold, brutal, and lavishly drawn epic with an instantly compelling world and characters. It might not be for everyone, but it's also a book which I know I'm going to be revisiting and thinking over for quite a while, and given how it wears its influence on its sleeve, it's a great series to loan out. Batman: Superheavy, Batman: Bloom, Detective Comics: Blood of Heroes I wrote about this before in my 2017 roundup, but these Batman vols 8 and 9, and Detective Comics vol 8, are a great character reinvention which I warmed to somewhat slowly but now love. Jim Gordon as an in over his head version of Batman who's largely cut off from the somewhat unwieldy mythology of the Bat-Family was a great and totally unexpected concept. I often wish there had been more of this era, but as it is it's a fun if short read that I like to revisit because it reminds me of how fun superhero comics can be. Moon Knight - Warren Ellis, Declan Shalvey, Jordie Bellaire, Chris Eliopoulos This shot in the arm reinvention of Moon Knight is one of the 2010's greatest revamps, and I wanted to bring it along purely as an all time great popcorn read. That's the thing about the revamp, despite how drastically it revises things, the six issues of From the Dead are in substance compulsively readable action comics. It's the kind of book that I find gratifying to take down from the shelf and revisit once in a while for the pure joy of it rather than any emotional resonance. All-Star Superman - Grant Morrison, Frank Quitely, and Jamie Grant What can I say? All-Star Superman is potentially the greatest Superman story ever told, and it's a personal favorite, so I had to bring it along. I considered getting a smaller version since I only have the giant Absolute edition, but even I have limits when it comes to frivolous purchases. Anyway, Morrison, Quitely, and Grant's opus was a formative read for me, possibly one that I read earlier in my relationship to comics than is necessarily recommended given how much it riffs on continuity and deep cuts, but nonetheless one that I've always connected with and which is something of a gold standard for me. American Barbarian - Tom Scioli Tom Scioli's a beast, and American Barbarian is an incredibly fun and weird comic that I like revisiting. It's also pretty long as these things go, a veritable epic, and I love the various phases and sections of the story. Nowhere Men - Eric Stephenson, Nate Bellegarde, Jodie Bellaire, Fonografiks I'm continuously aggrieved that Nowhere Men has slid into permanent hiatus one issue sort of completing a second volume, but as it stands volume 1 is one of the best superhero adjacent comics out there. It reads something like a stylish update of the Fantastic Four concept with a group of doomed astronauts developing bizarre, at times horrifying powers, but it's so much more than that. It's a strange alternate universe when science is placed alongside popular culture, with rogue celebrity scientists and text pieces throughout expanding on the strange world. It's a ride, one I'm always eager to finally see more of, but even with just the single volume it tells a satisfying story which I like to revisit with some regularity. I also decided to pack a couple of monthly comics, just stuff that's currently ongoing and I want to be able to read as a whole. Mister Miracle I wrote elsewhere about having mixed feelings on this book, but I decided to bring it along because I do enjoy Tom King's writing and I have a hankering to read it in one shot once it's wrapped. I've actually just been sitting on the issues since around #4 for that very purpose. Batman: Creature of the Night Superman: Secret Identity is on this list, so I don't think it ought to be much of a surprise that its companion series made it as well. I've been loving Creature of the Night, though it's a very different beast from Secret Identity, and I can't wait to see where the conclusion takes us.

[orbemnews]

How Naomi Osaka Became Everyone’s Favorite Spokesmodel LOS ANGELES — In today’s world of celebrity branding, captions speak louder than words. But Naomi Osaka’s are decidedly understated. “Keep on keeping on,” the 23-year-old tennis champion posted on Instagram under two on-court photos after making it through the fourth round of the Australian Open (which she went on to win). For a slide show that began with a shot of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, whose Costume Institute Gala she will co-chair, in September: “oh we lit.” Below a portrait of herself draped in Louis Vuitton and Nike (both sponsors of hers), simply: “yo.” Her nonchalance, perhaps, is a way of guarding herself on social media, where many more loquacious celebrities have made unforced errors. “You don’t really know people, by looking at their profile,” Ms. Osaka said recently. “You feel like you can sort of catch a glimpse into their life, which, in a way, is a bit wrong.” She said she has to remind herself to post on Instagram: “My mind hasn’t been able to keep track of it.” But certainly her profile, well outfitted as it is, provides a glimpse into her business — and like the meme decrees, business is boomin’. Ms. Osaka is covering everything from ears to rears, making headphones with Beats, athleisure with Nike and denim with Levi’s. Dresses? She designed them with Adeam, a Japanese-American brand. Swimwear? She crafted a collection with Frankies Bikinis. In April, she announced that she would serve as C.E.O. of her own company: Kinlò, a line of skin care made for people with melanated skin tones, produced with GoDaddy. According to Forbes, she made $37.4 million in endorsements and tournament prizes between May 2019 and May 2020, the most a female athlete has ever earned in a single year. “She’s the first professional tennis player we’ve worked with,” said Jen Sey, the brand president of Levi’s, “but for us, she rises above that. She’s such a powerful voice, the way she’s encouraged others to speak out about equality. She’s outspoken. That’s what we like about her. There’s no point in partnering with someone if you’re just going to tell them what to do.” With Nike, she founded an academy to introduce more young women to sports; with L.V.M.H., she joined a judging panel to choose an emerging fashion designer worthy of a 300,000-euro grant. Her imprint seems to be suddenly on everything from enterprise management software (Workday) to water (Bodyarmor). “She is the perfect storm,” said Cindy Gallop, a brand consultant who has worked with several of Ms. Osaka’s sponsors. “She’s a spectacular athlete. She has a strong sense of social justice, she’s prepared to speak her mind.” “Thirdly,” Ms. Gallop said, “she’s female, and fourthly, she’s not white. I hate, loathe, and detest terms like this, but she is, in quotes, diverse. She ticks every box. You can practically hear the brand managers thinking: ‘She is absolutely the right person to sponsor, right now.’” Serving Salad Tennis stars of the past hawked rackets, pain medication, watches (which Ms. Osaka also does, for Tag Heuer) and the ever-changing category of fast food. On a Monday in March, Ms. Osaka found herself in the Los Angeles test kitchen of the chain restaurant Sweetgreen, the Supreme of salad, trying to wrap her head around the notion that one of the restaurant’s dressings — rémoulade — would soon be disappearing from the menu. “What’s in it that makes it seasonal?” Ms. Osaka said. “The pickles,” said Katelyn Shannon, a research and development chef of Sweetgreen. Ms. Osaka nodded. She was wearing a face mask and a high bun; green and black sweatpants poked out beneath her apron. She had more questions: “Are the other dressings seasonal, too?” “What is a salad ‘hack’?” “What’s more popular, kale or romaine?” “How quickly does Sweetgreen go bad?” (Answers: mostly, no; it’s a way to reverse engineer an ingredient, like a seasonal dressing; kale; after two days, stir fry it for 10 minutes for a whole new meal.) Last year, Ms. Osaka signed a deal with Sweetgreen that gives her equity in the company and makes her its first celebrity sponsor. While both parties declined to disclose the terms of the arrangement, Nathaniel Ru, a founder of Sweetgreen, said the company “wanted to make sure she had some skin in the game.” “We’re not going to get a logo on her shirt, maybe we’ll get a salad on the sidelines,” Mr. Ru said. Ms. Osaka stars in a new Sweetgreen ad campaign, on billboards and the internet, that features four sides of her personality (two of the lesser known: “the gaming mogul,” “the meditation master”). The goal, Mr. Ru said, is to “shift the paradigm of what fast food can be.” Traditionally, salad has not had a sponsor; perhaps the closest it came was 10 years ago, when the blog post Women Laughing Alone With Salad went viral. Most of those women were white; perhaps none of them compelled anyone to eat a salad (unironically, anyway). “Representation is important,” said Ms. Osaka, who is Haitian and Japanese. (Part of the proceeds of a salad she designed for Sweetgreen — with baby spinach and tortilla chips, among other ingredients — will go toward nonprofits working to increase food access in Asian-American and Pacific Islander communities.) “It’s important for me to represent things I actually believe in,” she said of her brand partnerships, “that I actually eat. I would never do, like, McDonald’s or Coca-Cola, because I don’t consume them. I consume Sweetgreen once every three days. It’s not something that you can fake.” She added, “you can always tell when someone’s lying.” So radical is her authenticity that it seems to override any desire to appease. When a Sweetgreen employee asked her what she eats on the road, Ms. Osaka said, “at tournament sites they have a salad buffet, so I like to make my own salad.” “Is it sad?” the employee said. “‘Is it sad?’” Ms. Osaka repeated. “Is the salad buffet sad?” the employee clarified. “Oh,” Ms. Osaka said. “Wimbledon has a really good one.” Sister Act In September, Ms. Osaka won the U.S. Open while declaring solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement through her face masks. From a corporate sponsorship perspective, this was a turning point: taking a stance increased her brand value. She shortly thereafter teamed up with Basic Space, an online swap meet for hype beasts (sample items for sale include a St. John coat and a Range Rover) to sell 500 masks designed by her 25-year-old sister, Mari. They sold out in 30 minutes, with proceeds going to UNICEF. “We have a mutual appreciation and respect for what we’re all trying to build,” said Jesse Lee, the founder of Basic Space, “something cool, unique and authentic.” It was he who introduced Ms. Osaka to the founders of Sweetgreen. The Osaka sisters returned to Basic Space last month to auction off a series of N.F.T. artworks, with the final bid for one, “The Unsuspecting Player,” reaching $150,000. It is a Mangaesque imagining of a brown-skinned woman with a tennis racket and a cascade of pink hair not unlike a wig Ms. Osaka wore in a recent Instagram post. “I’ve always felt like my sister knows me best,” Naomi Osaka said during an April interview on Clubhouse, the audio broadcasting app. “I’ve grown up watching her draw and do digital art and paintings, I always wanted to find a way to use my platform to showcase that.” “Though maybe not exactly how I am,” she added, “she captured me well.” It was Ms. Osaka’s first time on Clubhouse, and she did not hide her bemusement when the volume of Mari’s audio dwarfed her own. “I’m literally right next to my sister, so I don’t get why I have a bad connection and she doesn’t,” she said. Many of her brand partnerships involve Mari. They collaborate on sketches for clothing Ms. Osaka designs with her fashion sponsors, like an upcoming capsule collection with Levi’s. “I draw really badly, she can make it look good,” Ms. Osaka said. “She’s able to interpret. Sometimes we don’t even have to talk for her to understand what I’m thinking.” Before the pandemic, Ms. Osaka visited the Levi’s workshop in West Hollywood to conceptualize the pieces, which include an obi-inspired bustier and denim shorts with crystal fringe. When in-person meeting became impossible, she went on Zoom, signing off on 10 designs before they went into production. “As a little kid, I would watch ‘America’s Next Top Model’ and ‘Project Runway,’ and those were sort of scratching the surface of what goes on behind the scenes,” she said. At Levi’s, she said, she could see the process, “how technical they are about buttons and cutting fabric.” Far from the celebrity sponsorship model of yore, in which stars of syndicated TV shows claim to color their own hair at home, Ms. Osaka does not want to work with a company unless she’s learning on the job. As companies scurry to make up for decades of underrepresentation of races other than white, Ms. Osaka is aware that she may seem like the golden ticket. “I don’t just want to be a figurehead, or someone used,” she said. “If I’m with a brand, I want it to be from my heart instead of just trying to promote a message, just for money.” Surely, some thirsty brands have offered some pretty sweet deals? Ms. Osaka laughed. “That’s really a him question,” she said, gesturing at Stuart Duguid, her agent and manager. “She’s not taking incoming calls,” he said. Back in the test kitchen, Ms. Osaka had cast herself, convincingly, as student in salad master class, asking about the pros and cons of various greens, what ingredients go together, watching and learning as Mr. Ru, the Sweetgreen co-founder, demonstrated the proper way to mix with tongs “You’ve got to do the twist,” he said, flipping his wrist. Upstairs, in a makeshift conference room, she photographed a mood board taped to a concrete wall. She gazed at the unfinished ceiling and a rattling screen window. “Really pretty architecture,” she said, sincerely. . Many celebrities are more keen on checking their texts than looking around the room. That’s not Ms. Osaka, or her brand. “I’m very curious about a lot of things,” she said. “Being curious is one of the happinesses of life, because if you’re not curious, that means you’re sort of settled. I feel really humbled, that I play tennis but I’m able to have all these new experiences and opportunities, like getting to make a salad here. I don’t think a lot of people can say that.” “I’m really good at tennis,” she added, “but I’d like to be really good at other things, too.” Source link Orbem News #Everyones #favorite #Naomi #Osaka #Spokesmodel

[jefferyryanlong]

Fresh Listen - Comus, To Keep from Crying (Virgin Records, 1974)

(Some pieces of recorded music operate more like organisms than records. They live, they breathe, they reproduce. Fresh Listen is a periodic review of recently and not so recently released albums that crawl among us like radioactive spiders, gifting us with superpowers from their stingers.)

One thing after the other.

Taking in reality, especially through the relentless assault of digital media, is a complicated endeavor. I try my best to sort out what to give a shit about–Meghan Markle’s unique chemistry with the Queen of England, maybe–and what to dismiss, if only because I usually feel so helpless with my notepad and pencil in the coffeeshop, worried about the decisions I’ve made at work while the feds seem hellbent on maintaining the odious practice of separating children from their immigrant parents at the U.S. border, and a potent retweet isn’t going to solve anything. 

So I take shortcuts to get through the waking days and nights more efficiently, more effectively. I set goals, get shit done. One thing after the other. If I’m lucky, I’ll lay my head on the bedtime pillow assured that I handled it–the rest, well, it was out of my hands. If I’m lucky, the pernicious memories and the ever-unraveling mysteries won’t haunt me from behind closed eyes, won’t force my attention to everything I missed. Maybe that important thing, that thing that called out for tending, that misread happenstance that maybe, maybe, would dramatically change the rest of my life. I’ve even abdicated my readings of signs and portents, given my certainty that the true horror will reveal itself, whether I understand it in advance or not.

One thing after the other: it’s a way to minimize the frequent seismic shifts of a life I’m trying to simply, quietly get through, making a little money here and there, finding the rare time to read or listen to a record. It’s also the way to suck the vibrancy out of that life, so that all the little moments are spray-painted beige, equalized to the same volume on the mixers of my processing unit. Humiliations and failures carry the same weight as defining accomplishments. I did that, and then I did that. All in the name of getting by, of just trying to wend my way through.

Comus, in their 1974 psychedelic folk-rock album To Keep from Crying, forcefully pushes back on the practice of moving through the world with any semblance of nonchalance, speaking out against protecting one’s sensory intake filters for the sake of one’s sanity or emotional health. For Comus, everything under the sun–humiliations, pencils, pillows, children–is a miracle. There is nothing to be feared or avoided. What is is there to be taken in whole, appreciated, learned from, transcended. 

Love, for instance, is not a relationship for Comus. Love is an astounding earth-shake that can knock one’s sense of self completely out of orbit, into a galaxy unrecognizable. Love’s not about giving out phone numbers, or sliding into DM’s–it’s about laying your naked body on the altar of the other person, even if the sacrifice was neither requested nor desired. For Comus, dreams are not coagulations of dharma residue pressure-cooked in the unconscious. Dreams are are the most direct means of communicating desire. The cycle of life itself, as normal as it seems as I stare out the window, watching the traffic, is a stupendous display of unseen energy the wisest of us can only barely comprehend. For Comus, even the most quotidian matters of the human experience are cosmically significant.

The band almost refutes the few records that preceded To Keep from Crying with the album’s first track, “Down (Like a Movie Star).” In a high tenor that would give Geddy Lee a run for his money, singer Roger Wootten rocks out in a manner unprecedented, bass and drums prevailing over the Renaissance-style acoustic guitars carried over from previous albums. Wootten castigates the disenchantment born of commercially sold dreams, characterizing mass media as not simply a psychic emollient, but as a malignant alien laying infected eggs of delusion in the brains of those who slavishly follow its permutations. The “out of touch” victim can’t stop living vicariously through the illusions that have been implanted in her, and when Wootten sings “How long can she live in the past / How long can she last?” the listener gets the sense mass media anesthetizes its viewership, who are all too willing to exchange selfhood for fantasy. Despite the driving beat, the woodwinds give the song a mystical, off-kilter feel, what sounds like an oboe weaving between the voices.

Love is portrayed as a floating, untethered madness on “Touchdown.” Perhaps Comus’s idea of love will never be grounded, especially on a mutable landscape in which “to find reality” becomes the imperative “define reality.” The band’s lyrics, often ironic, never cease to be compelling–alliteration drives the rhyme scheme of the first verses, calling to mind the playful experimentations (most of them successful) of the band Little Wings. “Touchdown,” Wootten whispers at the end of the song, “if you can.” As if the hardest thing in the world is to cease the detachment sponsored by desire and fixation.

Comus buries a couple of tone poems in the psychedelic goulash of To Keep from Crying, minor avant garde notes on the fringe of its fairly straightforward pop-rock numbers. The first, “Waves and Caves,” is a reverb-laden fuzz bass interlude, Wootten’s vocal moaning at the top of it recalling an unquiet spirit in a sealed-off tomb.

Before the drums kick in, “Figure in Your Dreams” comes across as a folk song that could have been played at a country dance during the 16th century. The first number featuring Bobbie Watson as lead vocalist, the song is an oddly timed celebration of the sweetness of possibility, the potential of locking into a loved one’s brainwaves and, maybe only temporarily, standing at the forefront of their wants. So much of desire is raw and unfocused–when it lands on someone, it engenders a sense of purpose, a reason to exhaust ourselves in going through the motions.

With one voice comfortably engraved in the other, Wootten and Watson espouse sci-fi hippie ideals of the time in “Children of the Universe,” in which the the celestial presences in orbit above us, just hanging and glowing with no discernible practical purpose other than to amaze, to press upon us the necessity of inspiration. As seemingly permanent fixtures upon our terminal imaginations, these bodies in the sky suggest to us humans that we might also place into the heavens a forever thought, that once born will never die.

If Comus ever had the potential for even marginal mainstream appeal, I would name “So Long Supernova” as the lead single, a charmingly weird, Poe-like narrative about seeing a long-lost love (”you’re just a nickel from an earlier era”) appearing before the rapacious male gaze. “Materialize, so I can hold ya,” the singer calls out, fruitlessly. Unlike the previous track, “So Long Supernova” doesn’t carry the listener through the dark depths of outer space–the “supernova,” in this case, is the impassioned blast of an unsummoned reminiscence, drilling into the narrator the pangs of unfulfilled longing.

“Perpetual Motion” may be the masterpiece of To Keep from Crying, a somewhat wistful meditation on no less than the force of gravity and the systems of life that carry on just at the edges of our perception. “Artists, scientists, strive to be the masters of” this under-appreciated rotation through the solar system, which should move us to take to our knees and thank the skies every morning. As a tribute, the band mimics perpetual motion at the coda of the song, a circular momentum directing their enthusiastic vocals.

The second of the brief instrumental pieces is “Panophany,” all wet drum sounds ricocheting against one another. “Get Yourself a Man” is Comus’s attempt at slow, simmering soul, though they cunningly insert their brand via a clarinet solo at the outro.

“Hold me naked, in the dancing parlor / Light close, and sacred, warm against your skin so white,” from the title track of To Keep from Crying, comes at the listener as a full turn away from the band’s preoccupations with planetary changes and psychedelic revelations. A waltz, a slow dance, “To Keep from Crying” is refreshingly unironic, simply stating (and stating beautifully) that a body, regardless of its magnitude, is most perfectly complemented by another body, so that the most basic functions of existence can be shared. Bobbie Watson, never shy as a vocalist, evokes here the raw emotive power of early Yoko Ono.

Great art can recalibrate the perceptions, reinstall a sense of wonder in whoever has the opportunity to experience it. Wonder not only at the piece itself, but wonder at everything around us, the unknown and implacable forces that keep all of it going on and on. To Keep from Crying makes a valiant effort to awaken the buried sensitivities in a listenership that has been bludgeoned into numbness by the heartbreaking news from Everywhere.

[misscrawfords]

11, 12, 16

Sorry for the delay in answering @cinquespotted and thank you for asking! :) Been a manic couple of days and I needed to think about non-fiction books about classics because that’s not so easy to answer when I haven’t been in academia in the subject for almost ten years. (Yikes…)

11. recommend a piece of non-fiction about the classical world

I was thinking about this on and off for a couple of days and then the answer hit me. Adam Nicholson’s The Mighty Dead. I’m not sure that “non-fiction” is quite the right way to describe this utterly brilliant book. It’s a lyrical, imaginative, semi-fictional investigation of Homer’s influence and power, as simultaneously oblique and direct, beautifully written and πολυτροπος as one of Homer’s heroes. 

I also pulled out my undergraduate dissertation bibliography which was the last time I read classical scholarship seriously and I remember being blown away by some of the things on it. (Unlike many students, I absolutely adored writing my dissertation - I was very lucky.) Here are a few of the academic books I read which I recall enjoying even at the distance of 9 years:

-  Chew, Kathryn. “The representation of violence in the Greek novels and martyr accounts”-  Frye, Northrop. The Secular Scripture: A study of the structure of romance (not classical per se but brilliant and influential - I read more Frye for my masters and I’m a big, big fan)-  Konstan, David. Sexual Symmetry-  Loraux, Nicole. Tragic ways to kill a woman-  MacAlister, Suzanne. Dreams and Suicides: The Greek novel from Antiquity to the Byzantine Empire

Yep, my dissertation was basically about sex and death. (What else is fiction about?) No, I didn’t do it on purpose…

12. who is your favourite poet? why?

(Oh how nice, this meme was created by someone writing British English. How delightfully unusual!)

Am I allowed to cheat and give two - one Greek and one Roman? Good! :P

On the Greek side, I have to go with Homer. I mean, I honestly feel he (he? As if we know!) might be my favourite author. Or at least sit up there alongside Austen. I guess at the moment I’m in more of a Homer mood than an Austen mood. Polite tea drinking and elegant sniping in a ball room really isn’t cutting it for me at the moment. (YES I KNOW THERE IS MORE TO AUSTEN THAN THAT. SHE’S MY FAVOURITE AUTHOR AND I’VE WRITTEN A DAMN MASTERS DISSERTATION ON HER. I’m just having a reaction against that kind of writing atm. I don’t know why. I don’t know what to do about it. I feel sad. But that’s another post.)

HOMER

I mean, where does one start? I’ve always loved The Odyssey from reading Book 6 for Greek GCSE and tittering over Odysseus covering his naked manhood with a fig leaf (lines inexplicably missed out from the Bristol Classical Press’ edition for fear of offending the sensibilities of school children, clearly not realising that by missing them out there is no indication that Odysseus isn’t stark naked in from of Nausicaa the entire scene lololololol). I did a final year paper involving reading the whole poem in Greek (spoiler: I failed, but I read about 2/3rds of it missing out the many books of recognition in Ithaca and it was a wonderful experience reading 100s of lines of Homer and getting a feel for the vocabulary and the rhythm of it all. I wish I had been a more dedicated student and had actually completed the whole thing.) It was my favourite paper. Professor Simon Goldhill (who looks and sounds like Zeus) opening the lecture series by booming, “The Odyssey is all about how to be a MAN”. ανδρα μοι εννεπε. First line of the poem. I get shivers thinking about it. Odysseus - his character. WHAT A GUY. (I don’t mean to say you have to like him or approve of him - that’s not what appreciating fiction is about, you clodpoles, but you have to admit he’s an amazing, amazing character and concept.) We actually had Professor Edith Hall come to my school today and she gave a talk on Odysseus as a hero and ngl I actually almost teared up at one moment. I just can’t believe such a great character exists and over 2000 years later, he still speaks to us and we can trace SO MUCH in Western culture back to these texts. Actually, while I was nursing a raging crush on Odysseus (I was 20 okay), it was Penelope who was the revelation to me in that paper. Did Penelope know her husband was back before the recognition scene? This had never occurred to me before and I was plunged into debates on the stability of the text and characterisation and feminism and narratology. I mean, it was just amazing! And whatever nitty gritty you might go into with it, I was just struck by this wonderful, admittedly overly romantic idea, that Penelope was absolutely Odysseus’ equal. That in this ancient epic, we had a woman who bested a man at his own game, that she was playing him - and he loved it. These two tricksters, separated for too long, finally getting their happy ending. And I know it’s not about that. But it also is. Emotionally, that’s what I got. And it made me so, so happy. Because, honestly, I don’t have a problem studying works written by, for and about men if they’re good, but there are SO FEW opportunities studying classics (at least traditionally; the approach is changing now which is great) to grapple with amazing female characters or figures - and here I had Homer’s hero and Homer’s heroine. I mean, there are many other things I love about the Odyssey but this is already long enough.

I always joked about the fact that I managed to get a classics degree from Cambridge without having ever studied the Iliad. (Ikr, it’s crazy!) And youthful, hubristic me was okay with that. I was an Odyssey girl through and through. I’d read the Iliad and it was all battles and death and the catalogue of ships. YOU FOOL. So the first time I really had to deal with the Iliad was when I found myself teaching it to A Level Classical Civilisation. And it was an absolute revelation. I’m teaching it for the third time at the moment and it’s not getting old. Every time I see something different, every time the students find something new, every time I cry quietly in class when we are reading. The places vary but the moments that are guaranteed to set me off are Achilles’ grief over Patroclus, him putting on his armour and his final unbending towards Priam. Why the armour? I’m not entirely sure. I think it’s something to do with this sense of inevitability of the approach of the end, of imminent climax (somehow more significant than the climax itself). It’s like how the lighting of the beacons in LotR is such a powerful scene. It’s not that the thing itself is particularly full of pathos but because of everything it signifies. I can’t altogether explain it but it always really affects me. When my uncle died the other year, I was reading the death of Patroclus with my class at that time and my mum came to visit. I didn’t know how to talk to her or talk about my uncle’s death and we had this absolutely awful walk around a country park in the rain (I am never going to be able to go back there for the memories it triggers) but somehow the only way I could articulate something of what I felt was by clinically and factually describing Achilles’ anguish and explaining to my mother how the ancient world mourned its dead and what Patroclus had meant to Achilles and what blinding grief and rage would drive him to do. And she gripped my hand and we both wept, silent tears, and we walked on in the rain talking about the Iliad. I’m actually crying again, writing this, right now. I am not sure there is ANYTHING in literature more powerful than Achilles’s rage and anguish.

If Odysseus is the hero of romance and comedy, a clever hero whose very wiliness makes my heart sing and my academic brain bounce up and down looking for mythic parallels, Achilles does something else altogether. I’ve been thinking about him a lot recently - partly because I’m teaching the poem and once again we’ve got to Book 16 and Achilles’ tragedy is becoming the focus of the remainder of the poem (if it wasn’t before) so it’s literally my job to think about his character - but also in the context of my recent obsession with SW, Reylo and Kylo Ren’s Episode 9 possibilities. I’m not trying to be trivial here but it saddens me SO MUCH that people have the nerve to police interest in that character, one of the most fascinating and complex to grace the screens of a fantasy blockbuster series in - well, honestly, I can’t think of another one. What a treat we have. Nobody has a problem loving Achilles’ character and weeping over him (and making soft pastel shipping graphics of him and Patroclus…) but he was objectively speaking an awful person in many ways. A violent, unpredictable, psychopathic overgrown adolescent who holds an awful grudge. But of course, that isn’t the full story and it’s not the purpose of this post to educate the internet on the nuances of Achilles’ character and his profound tragedy. I’ve got emotional enough, but honestly, we NEED Achilles. We need that larger-than-life expression of all our deepest fears and regrets and violence and destruction - and also wit, compassion, sense of justice and deep love and loyalty. I think someone once said that everyone should read the Iliad at least once in their life. Whether they did or not, it’s true: everyone should.

Okay, so I was also going to talk about how much I love Ovid too but that would be literally going from the sacred to the profane, the sublime to the ridiculous and I have spent way too long on this already. So, yeah, I really love Ovid as well.

16. Cicero - love him or loathe him?

I unironically love Cicero. 

Okay, so I started along this journey from the worst of reasons. The first guy I ever liked in high school was obsessed with Cicero. At the time, I’d never read anything by him, so I decided to like him because liking the same things as your crush is an A+ way of getting him to notice you and like you back. (Spoiler: it failed.) Along the way, I got really inspired by Cicero’s wife Terentia. My first internet handles were Terentia. (I WONDER IF HE KNEW I HAD A CRUSH. lol he did. it was awful. I cringe.) Anyway, Terentia was fabulously wealthy and responsible for financing Cicero’s political career, married twice more after Cicero’s death, including to the historian Suetonius, and died aged 103. What a BAMF.

So first off, I love Cicero’s Latin. He’s my favourite Latin prose author to translate. Even if his speeches are sometimes on the dull side (we had De Imperio as an AS set text a couple of years ago and it was such a snooze-fest), the actual style of writing is so lucid and balanced and satisfying I can forgive him the content. I love all the rhetorical devices and how you can still see them at work in (good) political speeches today. I just get tremendous pleasure from translating him. It annoys me no end that the prose unseen author at A Level at the moment is Livy. I have no patience for Livy’s Latin; it doesn’t thrill me at all.

But I also kind of like Cicero the man. He lived at one of the most fascinating periods of history and although you can’t altogether trust his bias, he was a really important figure in that history and documented so much of it. I wish we had more sources to sit along side as I think he definitely puffs himself up, but nevertheless he’s invaluable. I even quite like his arrogance. He’s the ultimate self-made, intellectual man in Rome and I think he has reason to be proud of what he achieved. He must have been formidable to listen to.

Thank you for letting me ramble on about classics and literature like this. I miss writing on tumblr and not just reblogging pretty things.

Ask me about classics (or anything else obviously)

[auburnfamilynews]

Inside the Weirdest Two Weeks of My Life

When I started writing for College and Magnolia a few years ago, I thought it would be a fun way for me to be stupid on the internet without wasting time. I thought I could make people laugh, and I really needed a creative outlet. After a couple of years, and after making tens of people laugh, it’s been great. At no point was my goal to be famous, viral, or whatever it is that I became in the last two weeks. I just wanted to have fun and talk about Auburn. That said, this is the official account of the weirdest two weeks of my life.

On March 23, 2019, at 3:13pm I wrote “Jared, Chuma Okeke, And my guy Bryce Brown shooting that thing from way downtown” into the notes app on my phone. I finished writing the song on my computer, and then sat down in my guest room to record it while my wife drove our baby around, trying in vain to get her to nap.

At 3:53pm the article “Crow Karaoke: We’ve Got Jared” went live, along with the link to the song on soundcloud.

On March 25, around noon, everything changed.

I’ve done a few interviews since then, so the story has been told. I pulled over and my phone was exploding because the members of the Auburn men’s basketball team had posted a video of them dancing to my song. Things got weird. My phone died almost immediately after the glut of notifications melted its digital brain.

From that moment on, weirder things happened seemingly hourly—not the least of which was Auburn beating the University of North Carolina Tar Heels by 17 to go to the Elite Eight. The band played my song. People bought shirts I made. The band played my song.

My twitter feed became the weirdest mix of people overjoyed at what was happening to me and people who were expressing gratitude to me over this. People genuinely thankful for something I did. To say this is a new experience for me is to put it lightly. No one has ever read my dumb posts on this website and then unironically thanked me. People began sending me a dollar here and there on venmo.

Now let’s talk about that.

I say “SonofCrow on Venmo” and randomly put my Venmo username on twitter as a joke. Up until recently zero people had actually given money to that venmo account. All that changed. People responding to free content by wanting to give money to its creator is the least-internet thing of all time. By the end of the week leading up to the Kentucky game, I was already overwhelmed with the love of the Auburn fanbase. I had been on the radio twice here in Auburn, and was able to plug East Alabama YFC a few times, so I was already feeling like things couldn’t really get any better.

On March 31, Auburn defeated the Kentucky Wildcats 77-71 to earn the Tigers’ first ever Final Four berth.

Bruce Pearl quoted lyrics to my silly song from the confetti-covered floor. Then he did it again from the podium. Then the Auburn fanbase sang my silly song as it welcomed the conquering heroes back into Auburn arena.

On April 1, the University’s twitter account used my song in a sweet drone shot of Toomer’s it posted. The Official Basketball video also used the song.

Then on the fourth the Chamber Choir sang an unnecessarily beautiful rendition of “We’ve Got Jared”

If you know me, you know how extra I am. So I decided to arrange "We've Got Jared" for the AU Chamber Choir and this talented group whipped it up in one short rehearsal. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ BEST OF LUCK TO OUR GUYS AT THE FINAL FOUR THIS WEEKEND!!!!

Posted by Brady McNeil on Thursday, April 4, 2019

Tom Green, Brandon Marcello, Benjamin Wolk, Josh Vitale, Justin Lee, Josh Ferguson, the Plainsmen, the College of Liberal Arts, and the University’s main page all talked about my song in excellent pieces they did in the run up to Auburn’s Final Four trip. I loved each one and it was incredible to read people I respect write about something I did. Incredible in more of an out-of-body-experience type of way. Then Matt Brown and Caroline Darney at SBnation started pumping the story to the Mothership’s main page.

Then Friday happened. I facetimed with Bruce Pearl, and that isn’t the weirdest thing that happened Friday.

When you work in nonprofits like I have for the better part of the last 10 years, there are certain things you don’t really get to do. You don’t get to just jet up to big events on a whim and you really don’t expect to. I was in Beauregard Friday morning with a team who came from out of town to do tornado relief. I was fine with that. I knew a ton of folks who had left for Minneapolis and was excited for them, but knew I was supposed to be in Auburn that day. Friday night, I get a call from my mother. Some people in my home town were hounding her to get me to Minneapolis. Offering to pay for my flight or ticket to the game or whatever, just make it happen. The next thing I knew, I had an itinerary booked to Minneapolis Minnesota and I was heading to the Final Four.

I lost count of the number of times I was brought to tears over the past two weeks, but I know there were more than a dozen times on the shuttle ride from Auburn to Atlanta. Joshua Black began a campaign on twitter to get me money for tickets and food while I was in Minneapolis. The “Auburn family” is an extremely cheesy marketing slogan and ad campaign, but until I can come up for a better term for the way I was embraced by total strangers it is what I am left with. The Auburn Family covered me with affection. I ended up with excellent seats to the game. Walking into the stadium was one of the most surreal moments of my life.

I got a picture with Gus Malzahn, who is a big fan of the song. That isn’t the weirdest part. While I am taking the picture with him, a lady is behind Josh waiting for me to be finished. I am assuming she wanted her picture with Coach, but no. I probably was asked to take a picture with a dozen different people last weekend, which is far and away the silliest thing. People wanting their picture taken with a man who rhymed “can’t believe it’s true” and “totally a basketball school,” is not normal.

After the game, I randomly/accidentally got in an Uber with Coach Pearl’s aunt and uncle, met their kids and a few grandkids. Was shocked to find out they all knew the song.

Steven Pearl thanked me personally for adding to the season.

A lot more happened, and all of it was grace. To say I deserve any of this would be stupid. I made up a silly song, it was embraced, and then people went out of their way to bless me for it. If it seems like I’m using overly religious language, it’s because I have no other way to describe it. This is what fellowship is about, it’s what a collective experience of joy is about. I love this team, I love Auburn, and I will never be able to repay the people who helped me. I will never forget them either.

TL;DR: The power of the human touch goes a long way to make area man transform into a puddle of tears on multiple occasions.

If you like the song, this site, or the power of the Auburn Family, please consider making a donation to Ironmanorangeandtrue.com we are trying our best to use this platform to raise $5000 that will go directly to mentoring programs for area teenagers both in schools and in jails, as well as continued disaster relief operations.

War Eagle

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/4/10/18303464/it-was-all-a-dream

[fromthedeskofelizabeththird]

Take The Bitter With The Sweet

Reader x Jaehee

This was originally for Valentine’s but it’s more of a general fic now because of how absurdly late it is.

Jumin is up to something and Jaehee's dream is at stake. MC decides to intervene. AO3

It’s taken you weeks to pick up the basics of icing sugar cookies. Now, however, you have it down to a fine art. Love hearts, stripes, polka dots and more. Jaehee is more than impressed with your progress. She’s even started unironically calling you ‘maestro’.

The proof is in the eating, though. You could decorate a thousand cookies with perfectly executed bright red lips, only to stumble at the last because of poorly constructed dough or leaving them in the oven for thirty seconds too long. You’re somewhat fortunate in this respect. You have the world’s best guinea pig, even if his motives are on the questionable side.

“So,” you say, leaning back against the counter, arms folded. “Good?”

Yoosung brushes crumbs from his upper lip before giving you an enthusiastic thumbs up.

“Perfect!” He says. “Just the right crumbly texture to accompany a cup of coffee.”

“You’re awfully technical today,” you chuckle, breaking off part of the biscuit for yourself.

It’s only meant as an observation and not to considered for longer than three or four seconds, but for some reason it leaves him stammering as if you’ve questioned something far more personal.

“Well...that is…”

He thinks about it for an abnormally long time and you’re sure you spot the faintest hint of guilt.

And at that, you sigh. Take a bite of the cookie you so dutifully broke off.

“What’s Jumin up to?”

You can tell that you’re on the right track from the way he blushes a bright red. Ordinarily he’s only too happy to tell you about Jumin’s behaviour, tyrannical or not, so when he finally speaks and it is with the carefully considered words of one with a guilty conscience, you know there is something he’s not telling you.

“He’s...ah...he’s working on a new project. Based on consumer trends.”

“Oh? Which ones?”

“He told me not to-”

Your expression barely changes, but Yoosung completely crumbles under the pressure as if you’ve twisted his arm.

“A coffee chain!” He splutters, bowing his head against the counter. “He's considering building a coffee chain in this area!”

And now it's your turn to overreact. As a matter of fact, it’s as if a cold stone is sinking in your stomach. A coffee chain in the vicinity would almost certainly ruin you and Jaehee. You have your regulars, to be sure, but when faced with a choice on the matter, the vast majority of the public will go for a name they recognise.

Jumin knows this and you possess no doubts that this business move is personal.

“That b-”

“ I should go!” Yoosung says, eager to be out of the line of fire. In all of the time you've known him, you've never seen him move so fast.

When Jaehee returns from the wholesaler, you've decided on a plan of action and spent the past few minutes brewing in a fiery rage. At first you were upset, but then that transformed into a sort of helplessness at the prospect of wanting to fight back but not knowing what to do. You're smug when you finally settle on a plan, though, and that smugness becomes a fully fledged confidence that you cannot possibly fail.

“They were out of that icing you like,” Jaehee says as she walks through the door, “so I… what are you doing?”

It must be a strange sight. You're filling one of the paper bags you use to pack people’s take away lunches with sugar cookies and a thermos.

“I'm going to C&R,” you say, folding the bag over automatically and heading for the door.

Truthfully, you had planned to be gone before Jaehee returned, since you had a feeling she would protest your idea. In reality, though, she looks more confused than anything else, glancing from your brown paper bag to your expression of pure indignation.

“I’m going to regret asking this,” she says, placing her carrier bag on the floor. “But why?”

“Jumin’s being an ass,” you say.

“[Name], I-”

“I’ve made him some coffee and I’m going to his office right now.”

“[Name],” says Jaehee, taking you by the shoulder. “I’m not sure what he’s done, but I really don’t think that’s necessary.”

You glance around the empty shop, remembering every busy afternoon you spent scribbling names onto cups and watching strangers fall in love. The thought of Jumin sitting in his office with a glass of wine and destroying Jaehee’s dream without a second thought only infuriates you further.

“It’s necessary,” you say, envisaging the exact piece of your mind you’re going to give to Jumin. “Are you coming?”

Jaehee says only one thing to you on the subway.

“The coffee,” she says, concerned for other people even in the middle of this crisis.

“Don’t worry,” you say, cradling the paper bag. “I made it just the way I always do.”

It took the pair of you several months to get into an evening routine. When the coffee shop first opened, you spent many a night curled up on the couch and too exhausted to move, let alone get any work done on expenses or even laundry. After a little experimentation, you've worked it out to a fine art: after dinner, you do the dishes and Jaehee spends a few minutes updating her record of the day’s takings. More recently, you've taken to bringing her a cup of coffee and an iced cookie while she works and, every evening without fail, she comments on your icing as she takes a sip of the coffee.

There is so much that Jumin doesn't know. So much you want to say to him. Honestly, you're not sure you trust yourself to be civil and Jaehee’s expression of concern leaves you curious about whether she does either.

But it's for the best. You know that it is. It's like the old adage, that the key to a fulfilled life is not the pursuit of happiness, but balance: to seek tears as well as laughter and the bitter with the sweet.

Yoosung is confused when you ask for him at reception. So, for that matter, is Jaehee.

“Jumin almost certainly has meetings at the moment,” she says, as Yoosung leaves the lift. “He won't be able to-”

She assumed you planned to ask for an appointment. You didn’t.

The moment Yoosung approaches, a small smile and no doubt curious why you pursued him all of the way to C&R, you take the chance to snatch his staff ID clean from his jacket. He barely gets the opportunity to pick up on what you’ve done before you’ve sprinted back towards the lift and dived through the closing doors, using his ID card to select Jumin’s floor. Jaehee catches her breath beside you, out of breath from the sudden burst of activity and just as the lift begins to move, you’re sure that you can hear Yoosung pounding his fists against the doors.

You don’t care, however. Ordinarily, you might have and later on you might even feel an ounce of guilt. In that moment, though, all you have is anger, adrenaline and sheer unyielding will.

“Are you going to tell me what all of this is about?” Jaehee laughs as she confiscates Yoosung’s staff ID, presumably to prevent you from any further mishaps. You laugh too, though you never get the chance to tell her the full story, as a matter of moments later you arrive at Jumin’s floor.

During your (brief) planning process, you imagined storming through Jumin’s office door in a blaze of vengeful glory. In your imagination, he sat at his desk and could not hide his expression of shock as you approached.

The reality of it is quite different, however. He’s on the phone when you approach, leaving you to wait in awkward silence for him to hang up.

“[Name],” he says, almost casually. “How may I be assistance?”

He’s not in the least bit surprised to see you, no doubt because Yoosung or someone else in reception let him know in advance. Either that, or he’s all bluster and you don’t doubt that for a second.

“I-”

But Jaehee cuts you off.

“[Name] wanted to see your office!”

She links her arm through yours. Jumin raises an eyebrow.

“See,” says Jaehee, turning on her heel and gesturing at the bookcases and filing cabinets. “Isn’t it nice?”

The word ‘nice’ is accompanied by a swift and meaningful elbow to the ribs, but if anything that just spurs you on.

“I came to talk to you,” you say, unwrapping your arm from Jaehee’s and taking a seat in the chair in front of Jumin’s desk. “I have something to say.”

“[Name],” Jaehee protests. “This really isn’t necessary.”

You pull the thermos out of the bag, along with the sugar cookies. Jumin watches you do so, only looking away from your fingers to look across at Jaehee.

“You’ve heard about my franchise plans,” he says, without a hint of hesitation.

“Franchise plans?” Jaehee says, and only then does it occur to you that you never actually explained the reason you were angry enough at Jumin to confront him in his own office.

“Yoosung told me. He’s planning a coffee chain in the same area as ours.”

You’re not sure if you expected Jaehee to be surprised. Her reaction is in fact one of resignation, as if this had always been coming and she had only ever been waiting for the moment it arrived.

“I see,” she says, and even if you predicted her reaction thus far, you would never have guessed what she came to say next. “Pour the coffee.”

As a matter of fact, the comment takes you off guard so much that you hesitate.

“This coffee,” you say, unscrewing the cap with shaking fingers. “I made it myself.”

You planned an entire speech on the subway, but the words dissolve into nothing as you actually need them, so you improvise, cursing how cliched you almost certainly sound.

“I love our coffee shop,” you say. “I love our customers. I love icing our sugar cookies. And..if you take away our business, I won’t be able to make Jaehee coffee like this anymore.”

Jumin doesn’t ask for the rest of the story. Instead he reaches for the nearest cookie and admires your design. You picked one out in a hurry without paying much heed to how you had decorated it, but he seems to appreciate the lavender stripes.

“You did this yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Interesting,” he says, before reaching for the cup. “Yoosung tells me much, though I’ve not seen myself.”

You had a number of expectations of how the coffee tasting would go, too. He’d take a sip, you’d explain your dreams went into it and he’d reconsider the franchise. Of all of them, however, none included him taking a sip, only to spit the liquid back out again as if poisoned.

“Is there something wrong?” You ask.

“Is that a joke? This coffee is terrible.”

You lift the thermos and sniff the liquid inside, wrinkling your nose at the bitter scent inside before taking a sip yourself. It’s harsh against your tastebuds, but no more so than any other coffee you’ve tasted. You are a tea drinker and coffee is something you do not make a habit of indulging in, so in all honestly you’re not sure you would know a bad cup if you had one.

“I don’t understand,” you say. “This is exactly how I make coffee for Jaehee.”

“Yes,” says Jaehee, planting a warm hand on your shoulder. “And I love your coffee, [Name].”

She’s telling the truth even if she doesn’t deny Jumin’s criticism and it brings a flush to your cheeks. Jumin, on the other hand, is less than enthused.

“I hope the coffee you serve in your store is better than this,” he says, reaching for a water bottle.

Your heart skips a beat at the insult; not because you're particularly worried your coffee might be bad, but at the sudden realisation that you might have ruined everything for Jaehee.

“I,” you say, “now just a minute!”

The hand she placed on your shoulder clenches into a fist. When he realises that both of you are staring at him, Jumin sighs deeply.

“I think you are misinformed,” he says, reaching into his desk drawer for a file.

“I drew it up this morning,” he says. “I think you’ll find the terms are fair.”

Jaehee accepts the file and slowly turns the pages of the document inside. Her eyes widen with every sheet and you can only imagine what horrors lay within. Eviction notices. Diagrams of the upcoming chain.

“This is…” Jaehee trails off and you fear the worst. “This is not what I expected.”

Jumin sits back in his chair and you're sure you can make out the faintest hint of a smile.

“Is your opinion of me that low?”

“Honestly?” Jaehee says. “Yes.”

You wonder what he plans to unleash. What horror is contained in the file?

“I'm sorry,” you say. “I should've known better and now I've ruined everything.”

“[Name]...” says Jaehee, even as you turn back to Jumin.

“I know that things ended badly, but grudges don't achieve anything----”

“[NAME]!”

Jaehee rarely shouts at you and, presumably never shouted at Jumin much in all of the time they worked together, for both of you are visibly surprised.

She turns the folder around so that you can read the terms and conditions Jumin referred to and finally you understand the entire situation. Yoosung did not panic and run away because Jumin plotted to build a rival coffee chain. He had panicked because his investigation into Jaehee's shop was research into a potential investment opportunity and he had (somewhat incorrectly) thought that you were onto him, a fact that would potentially land him in hot water with Jumin.

Jumin probably did have a grudge and it was a great business move to open a rival chain, but that wasn't what he was doing.

“You're investing in our store?!”

You’re sure you don't believe him, even as you see the words written across the page.

And that's when you remember the old adage; an offhand remark from Jumin on the messenger about a fulfilled life. That life was not the pursuit of happiness, but balance: to seek tears as well as laughter and the bitter with the sweet. Strange that you had remembered his words, only to forget that he was the one to say them.

Similarly curious that you had held onto his anger and forgotten his capacity for reason.

“I am interested in such a venture,” he says. “If you are.”

You consider his words even as you scrub the dishes many hours later. You're plainly not the only one, for as you bring out a cookie and a hot drink, you find Jaehee rereading the paperwork.

“Oh,” she says, as she lifts the cup to take a sip. “It's tea.”

“I figured you wouldn't want my coffee,” you say, dropping your gaze to the floor.

Honestly, you're somewhat mortified that she has been drinking your bad coffee for so long. She, however, stands up from her seat and brushes a few loose strands of hair from your face.

“Nonsense, maestro,” she says, so close that her voice drops to a whisper and you can smell the tea leaves on her breath as she kisses your temple. “It's the only one I want.”

[blazehedgehog]

So on a personal level what do you think of the Sonic Franchise as a whole?, what made you stick to the series?, and how did it influence you into who you are today?

This is a very, very deep question because “Why Sonic the Hedgehog?” is something I’ve asked myself many times over the years and even though I have an inkling, it’s still not something I’m sure I actually have an answer for.

The top level answer is that I like to go fast. I didn’t put it together until just recently, but my father was a drag strip racer, and genetics is a weird thing. Even though I didn’t really know my Dad, my Mom says there are certain things I do that are exactly like him. Genetic memory (aka “instinct”) is a real thing that actually happens. In addition to Sonic games, I have developed a certain affinity for driving and racing games. Going fast is fun. I love the movie Redline because of how it depicts speed. Unsurprisingly, some of my favorite Sonic games are also some of the fastest ones. If you take a step back and look at the Sonic games I don’t really like, usually it’s the ones that try and force you to slow down (Sonic CD, Sonic Colors, Sonic Lost World).

And in the vain of “I like to go fast,” there aren’t really a lot of games like Sonic the Hedgehog. Even during the “Mascots with Attitude” boom in the 90′s, most of the Sonic Clones never really seemed to understand exactly why Sonic the Hedgehog was popular. They understood some of the broad strokes – usually in relation to the character’s attitude – but they never really broke through to understand the core of what made Sonic fun. Almost nobody has, actually, including Sonic Team themselves.

How has Sonic influenced who I am today? Well, my interest in Sonic the Hedgehog has been the driving force behind… almost every talent I currently have. I really began to take my artistic ability seriously back when I started doodling Sonic the Hedgehog in the margins of schoolwork. I became interested in game development because I wanted to create my own Sonic game. The first piece of creative writing to really “hit” was a 10 page dissertation on Sonic game mechanics that was published in a zine called “The Gamer’s Quarter” in 2005. The most popular videos on my Youtube channel are the Sonic related ones, particularly this Sonic 06 glitch montage, which has more than 2 million views.

Almost every single piece of success I’ve had in my lifetime is related to something I’ve done in the context of Sonic the Hedgehog.

I’m sure there’s somebody out there who read that sentence and went, “Wow, that’s really sad.”

There’s undoubtedly a lot more to talk about here, but… there’s like a book’s worth of stuff I could talk about with regards to Sonic the Hedgehog. Unironically, I started writing one, once.

One day, I intend to finish it. Perhaps that will be the next big milestone in my life Sonic the Hedgehog helps me complete. It’s just a matter of finding the best way to present it all in a way that people want to read.