#it’s the worst part of August
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My younger siblings both start school tomorrow (ick) and jokingly asked me to go for them and I told them I already did my time
#school wasn’t bad i was just undiagnosed and didn’t have a good time#and got bullied and fought my sexuality and okay. maybe it was bad#i hate back to school sunday#it’s the worst part of August#(august pls don’t take that as another ‘hold my beer’ cus you’ve done ENOUGH already)#what was my point#tag rambling
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here's some clown-free content
So last night I woke my husband up at 3am by talking in my sleep. Apparently, I kept saying “NooOoOoooO”
At first he thought the house was haunted. Then he was worried about what kind of awful nightmare I must have been having if I kept repeating the word "no."
Dream me was trying to shoo away a very calm german shepherd, which morphed into a spherical crusty white dog and was begging for dog treats that were sitting on a wall.
I was telling the weird dog "no" and that it had to go home.
#i don't usually talk in my sleep#poor guy couldn't go back to bed after that#i don't blame him it was probably creepy af at first#the worst part of that dream was that i lost a little piglet and was trying to find it before the momma pig showed up#get to know hey-august
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you gotta admit it's kind of funny how both of the people in line for the throne is in love with someone from the same pair of siblings
#young royals#and the worst part is if they got married#imagine how fucked up for wilhelm and simon ending up with august as their brother in law
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I did a screenshot Redraw of Angstrom and Canasta (a friend and my lamb ocs) and I’m still surprised with how this came out
#art tag‼️#worst part about screenshot / scene redraws is that it incorporates tracing into it which is very disliked by basically every artist ever#(me included)#it is the only drawing I’ve been able to produce in a LONG time#so yippee!! and backgrounds!!#don’t expect much in the future of these two I’m going back in the dirt like a cicada#cotl lamb#screenshot redraw#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb oc#Angstrom isn’t my character!!! the friend who made him doesn’t have a tumbly#Angstrom and Canasta#I’ll draw them without reference later#excited for August 12#cult of the lamb lamb ocs
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just realized i've been writing solidarity instead of solubility on my chem hw. time to quit and go frolic
#pov dealing with the consequences of my own procrastination#the worst part is i cant even tell if my brain was defaulting to solidarity the concept or solidarity the guy so. whatever i guess#august rambles#wait i kinda miss putting random life posts on here. i really just august rambled all the time
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Why am I experiencing two halves of a cold within two weeks…like when I was sick 2 weeks ago I didn’t have a sore throat/cough, but I had everything else. Now I only have a sore throat/cough.
What??? Is my immune system doing?????
#And a headache which is honestly the worst part rn#but since I already skipped some classes when I was sick 2 weeks ago I don’t want to skip again#when I’m like half sick??#this is so bizarre#August talks
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ponyboy makes sure to talk about sandy pretty neutrally and is much kinder to and about sylvia than what a normal fourteen year old so seeing someone read that and go "it's misogyny" is more of a personal indictment than a narrative one. particularly given se's track record sense of women she's written.
he says right here that he's sorry for her. he never disparages her, he never says anything cruel about her. any fandom misogyny over the years has purely been from readers themselves and there's a long storied history of misogyny when it comes to sandy in this fandom. saying that it just went for "sylvia and sandy are whores" is just a sixteen year old's opinion.
#the outsiders#it's august. this is going right in my queue for god knows when it will come back#but you all know you can just not have a take RIGHT#and to clarify: a sixteen year old didn't write the post that annoyed me!#that's probably the worst part!
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she had dreams 😪 she had ambitions 😭 she can't stick to a schedule to save her life 🤧
#flexible deadlines are my worst nightmare#this was after rescheduling the uploads twice already#I wanted to and technically could have been done with this part in august schedule wise if my brain didn't hate me#we are so close to the end of part 1 yet here I am with nothing more to post yet#it's not a lack of desire#my motivation to sit and pose is just nonexistent atm#so please bare with me#shut up megan
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me when i see someone make the most insufferable tt post absolutely bashing 2012 for no fucking reason other than the fact that they want rise to be good but they don’t understand that multiple iterations can all be good. all of it can be good. saying multiple things are good don’t make you favorite thing bad. please.
#rise can be good without other iterations being bad#for reference the post was smth like#‘Rise leo watching all of 2012 be bad at each others weapons’#and its just RTHGHGCGSG THAT IS A FUCKING SEASON ONE EPISODE#AND ALL their WEAPONS are WILDLY DIFFERENT IN TERMS OF RANGE AND TECHNIQUE?#Obviously they won’t have mastery over them immediately#Because they aren’t supposed to start out perfect at everything!!#Worst part is this also comes up in rise when they get their asses kicked in the premiere!#And that’s with the weapons they’ve presumably trained with all their lives#just augh. Rise is good without all other iterations being bad#Plus they’re wildly different in terms of formatting aswell#Rise is so episodic and we almost never see them doing actual weapon training#because that’s not the tone of the show; it’s supposed to be spontaneous and fun#In 12 we DO See a lot of training because it fits the show’s aesthetic#And establishes character arcs or relationships#gughghghg#I can try and elaborate on this tomorrow#Or like in august
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I wonder if Taylor knows she’s releasing Speak Now TV tomorrow
#like i’m ngl i was kind of taken in by the theories at first as well but now i’m like.. it’s just not possible#we had surprise albums with folklore and evermore and sort of the 3am edition but i’d be amazed if she did it again#or released a tv as a surprise#considering how hyped red & fearless tvs were & the fact that fearless tv got singles beforehand i just don’t think she’d do that#she knows there’s more money to be made from a planned release which will get people preordering vinyls and listening to the old version#to see what’s to come#plus i’d be absolutely amazed if anything at all was released before tour. like in the past three years she’s released 3 new albums#2 rerecords and announced a tour. that’s so much. and while i 100% believe she’s been working on all the rerecords and probably has at least#one of them ready to go; she’s not releasing them before tour#plus midnights hasn’t even been out for 6 months yet. i don’t think anti hero is even out of the charts. i know evermore came out just about#5 months after folklore but 1) they were sister albums and 2) that was during the worst part of the pandemic so it wasn’t like either album#could have a proper press run. meanwhile speak now and midnights have absolutely nothing to do with each other besides a ‘fuck you’ song#directed at john mayer. so i’d be absolutely bamboozled if she interrupted midnights’ era with a rerecord release#and i’d be amazed if she released a bunch of from the vault songs right before tour and made the setlist even more complicated than it#will be right now. in fact i think it’s far more likely she’ll release a live tour album which will have ‘from the vault’ songs from sn#or 1989 or maybe rep. or do a live rerecord for at least one of those albums#but again that’ll be released after tour#i am starting to think odd number years are going to be rerecords and even number years will be new releases#but i’d still be amazed if we saw anything before august at the earliest#thank you for coming to my ted talk#taylor swift#personal
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moving back home this weekend and it is severely depressing
#i just need to actually get my license and then it will be less awful <3 peace and love#not seeing my friends here every day will be the worst part of it im like preparing for the impending breakdown#theres a lot of things about living the dorm life that i will not miss but god I WANNA PUT MY FRIENDS IN MY POCKET AND TAKE THEM HOMEEEE#im gonna be living with one of them this august but thats..... SO FAR AWAY#AUGHGHGHHHHHH#simon says
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I have to talk to my boss on Monday like hey girl my surgery that you rearranged the entire months schedule for? Cancelled 🤪!! please put me back on the schedule I cant afford no income for that long 😳 and the surgery might be rescheduled at any time so be prepared 🤪
#rice rambles#this is like the worst part of all of this honestly#i really hope it gets scheduled sooner rather than later bc if i miss on the ren faire this august im gonna be so sad
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although I would never consider myself anything more than an amateur of writing silly little scooby doo-inspired fiction, I think I did a relatively good job writing part 3 of midground, thinking about grief and depression in ways I haven't experienced personally so it wasn't like just a lazy way of self-inserting myself and my struggles... I definitely have that flaw where I tend to write about my point of view unless I actively try and challenge it, so with p.3 I really exercised myself sooooooo hard to describe entirely different processes than what I go through when experiencing loss of a loved one...... And I think I've said that already recently but it also made me so much better at writing conflicts, like writing believable fighting... I don't want to sing myself too many praises bc there's still sooooooo much stuff I suck at and obv also "getting better" at writing about this stuff doesn't mean I'm that good to begin with but yeah. It was really such a positive experience despite the heavy topic and everything that I can't help but feel proud of myself and the progress I've made, even if it was always meant for my own eyes only
#I always say I based clay off my worst flaws but still everything I wrote about him was so different to what I would have felt and yet it#came out believable and natural. So#But yeah just like. Tossing this out here bc the whole part had this gloomy sad atmosphere even tho it's between February-August iirc#So I just couldn't help but let my thoughts wander back to those hundreds of pages of sadness and grief and loneliness I kept spilling out
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Physically couldn't focus to get any work done today because I knew that I'd have messages waiting from him that I couldn't get to. So. Yeah
#also messaging him is somehow simultaneously the best and worst part of my day??#its the best when were just talking or whatever and i feel like he enjoys talking to me (platonic or not)#and then the worst when i feel like hes just putting up with me/doesnt really care lmao#but still! hes all i think about!! and i cant get off my phone for too long in hopes that hell message me!#august by TS moment amiright lmao#like girl stand up. this is a MAN#but :( i cant help it. i REALLY like him :(#me talking#college :)#almost everything ive done within the past week (the entire time weve been messaging) has been in some way because of him#LMAO fuck!!#sexuality stuff
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Don't mind this, just a vent about my anxiety
It's been almost a week on my new meds, and I'm still horrifically anxious about going out. I know it's only been a week and such, but after yesterday, I fear that being on new meds isn't gonna help me, even if the dose is to be raised.
Going out to the store with my Mother and little sister. and it was POURING out. I asked my Mother to just take me home cause we were just down the road already, and I was ready to tap out. She said no and kept driving. She keeps going on about how I need to get over it and how I can't stay inside forever. The way I spent the rest of that car ride on the verge of crying is embarrassing.
Yes, Mother, I know I need to get over it. Yes, I know I can't spend the rest of my life hiding away, but it doesn't feel like right now is the time and place to tell me to get over my anxiety. Every god damn time I force myself to go out, I seem to get worse. I'm just worsening it, and I feel like it doesn't help when she deliberately ignores me when I tell her that I can't do it and need to go home. I literally tell her that I will jump out of the car and I probably will end up doing that without thinking, especially cause I've grown a slight habit of unbuckling my seat belt and even reaching for the door handle.
But if I do that, I'm just gonna get screamed at cause I'm 22, and I know better than to do that even though when I do those things, I don't mean to. Like, it's my body reacting that way out of genuine fear?
Anyway, the point I'm making is that I think my older sister was onto something when she asked me if I was agoraphobic. I can't even go down the street to my dentist and doctor without the anxiety starting.
I just don't get it.
#vent#anxiety#agoraphobia#why does this have to happen to me#the worst part is that it happened out of nowhere#back in august#which means it's almost been a year of this bullshit#and i hate it#:(
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i want the dokidoki sr madoka so so bad but my size is on backorder and won't ship out til july...my only con this year is in june
#vector rambles#found the full costume on depop...not my size#the worst part is that con was *supposed* to be in august but they had to change the dates this year#it's starting to feel like it's not meant to be#or (and this is the devil talking) it could be my sign to just make it myself
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