#it’s the way ppl act as if the movie didn’t come from the stage show… like you can say musical and have it encompass both

[pallases]

my toxic trait is the way i physically grind my teeth every time i see a post comparing the wicked book and “movie” instead of “musical” for something that is not exclusive to the movie & also the movie is still a musical

[thelastofgala]

I started The Last of Us, Pt. 2 last night, and here are my first impressions, musings on parallelism, Naturalism, Ellie’s characterization, Joel’s characterization, the “presence” of Riley, gameplay, story development, and more:

***SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT***

Starting with Joel. I always imagined The Last of Us 2 would begin at the end of Joel’s journey, though I will say that I did not expect to pick up so close to the end of the first game. I thought they would start us somewhere COMPLETELY out of context. Like I was prepared for much deeper flashback. In this way, I really felt like I was playing a sequel, which is not a bad thing. I just had no idea how they were going to frame this. The compelling thing about starting with Joel is that it immediately sets up parallels between Joel and Sarah, the character we start with in The Last of Us. There’s no way this was not a pointed decision. Just like it was with Sarah, Joel is our point of reference in a new, strange world. His point of view in this new world is all that we know. We don’t know what the new special world contains, and we don’t know grown-up Ellie at all. Plus, old fans will have missed him. It is a comfort to be Joel, and like a daughter protected by her father, a false and short-lived comfort. We are also now thinking of Joel as, like Sarah, someone who is in danger, whose agency is compromised, who, for whatever reason, is weakened this time around, and who may not survive the story. 

I will say, too, that I really loved that after the 4-years-later cut, Joel is held off-screen. He and Tommy are out on a patrol. They are out there, in danger, and that sort of restraint is really effective. We are ALWAYS looking for Joel, just like we were in the run-up to the release, because he is the only person we truly know in this strange, new world. ND knows and takes advantage of this.

There are many parallels between Joel and Riley. Both Joel and Riley sneak up on Ellie during their first interaction. They’re even wearing similar colors. Both Joel and Riley lied to Ellie in the previous story, and both betrayed her as an act of self-preservation. In Left Behind, Ellie is somewhat chilly toward Riley in the beginning, even as her younger, more optimistic self, just as Ellie is chilly toward Joel in the beginning of The Last of Us 2. Still, you can tell through Ellie’s dialogue with Dina that she and Joel are knitted together—he defended her against the bigoted bartender, and she appreciates this even if she doesn’t outright say it. They share taste in movies and have plans to watch a movie together soon. I haven’t interacted with Joel in the current timeline, but I do know that in Left Behind, Riley has to earn back Ellie’s trust and take measures to reenter her good graces, and that this is a large part of their relationship arc. I also know that, by the time they reconcile, it proves to be too late. The world will not let them have what they want, and nothing is simple. All of these parallels worry me a lot, as Left Behind, while still driven by a strong undercurrent of love (it is a love story, interwoven with Ellie’s desperate search for medical supplies in a bid to save Joel’s life), is a much bleaker, sadder story than The Last of Us, and it has a tragic ending.

Joel's conversation with Tommy feels important. I was very glad to hear Tommy say that he would have made the same choice, in terms of saving Ellie or letting her die for the possibility of a cure. It shows that Tommy is more like Joel than perhaps we knew. Plus, Maria will have taught him something about love and commitment, as the notion of saving the one you love above all else should make more sense to him now that he has foregone the youthful idealism of the Fireflies in order to focus on the practical wisdom of family. As a parent, I understand Joel’s decision to save Ellie at the end of The Last of Us and know I would have done the same. I also understand why Joel lied, even though I think it was the wrong choice. Hearing him confide all of this in Tommy was cathartic. It was also very characteristic of Joel to respond that Ellie “didn’t say nothing otherwise” when Tommy asks if she believed him. In all of his denial, Joel chooses to believe what is conveniently in front of him, even if he knows it’s untrue. Also, I couldn’t tell, but was that a Firefly logo on that guitar he’s shining up? Maybe I hallucinated that. But if it is, I do wonder where he got it.

Ellie’s character is much more deadpan and ruminative in young adulthood. She seems tired, and a little lacking in self-esteem and sort of immediately defeated by what happened during the experience with Joel. When Joel sang, we could see her return to that place, just a glimmer, and her response—that it “didn’t suck”—shows how she still shields her heart with sarcasm, something Dina points out to her later on (“Did I ruin your punchline?”). Joel has been broken down by the events of The Last of Us and now bears his soul to her with his music, unabashed and dedicated to her, and Ellie is now the stoic one, unshakable, sealed inside a heavy, protective armor that seems impossible to pierce. I look forward to getting to know Ellie as a young adult and, ultimately, crying a lot. She is artistic and honest and still a little soft underneath. You can tell by her early interactions with Dina especially that she can still blush, and she can still come undone.

I love the snowball fight lol. I am always so frustrated when these big environment games, like Red Dead 2, Dragon Age, etc., don’t have any kids running around. Why don’t these stories pay attention to kids? Kids exist. They are an important part of almost any open world or quasi open world environment. I love the presence of kids in The Last of Us 2, because the loss of childhood innocence is an important theme for Ellie as a character. It’s also clear we’re trying to set up the edenic innocence of Jackson. It is childhood, in a way, and just like childhood, it will come to inevitable corruption. The scene, too, reminded me of Ellie and Riley on their teen dream adventure, romping through the Halloween store at the mall, trying on masks and talking to the magic eight ball.

I’m really pleased by all the parallels with Left Behind and Ellie’s portion of the journey in The Last of Us. Winter was her season, and that’s where we’re starting now. The horseback riding, the blizzard, and all the blood in the snow bring flashbacks of Ellie hunting on the woods, Ellie alone in the frozen mall, David, and the Lakeside Resort, all of which layer the current moment with a lot of emotional tension for the player.

The opening is, I think, sprawling. I’m having fun but there’s this sense that I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of the story. Like Joel in the first game, Ellie is also big-timing me a little and I feel far away from her. I know this will change soon, and I’ll warm up to her, but for now, like Joel, we’re all being held at arm’s length. I actually like the POV shifts we’ve gotten so far and the multiple POVs is something I predicted a while ago, based on ND’s tendencies in the first game. Ppl are going to give The Last of Us 2 shit for being too cinematic but tbh it sometimes feels more like a playable novel than a traditional video game. We’re on a cable car headed straight into disaster and there’s nothing we can do. In this way the game is using the medium itself to perpetuate its Naturalistic themes. We play and we play, and we fight and we fight, but the environment entertains no interest in our struggle and the outcome will always be the same. There is no free will in The Last of Us.

On that note, the gameplay so far is, I think, pretty fun. I have played a lot of stealth games and am always looking for ways the genre is reinventing itself. Like Sekiro and Tomb Raider, The Last of Us 2 is increasing the verticality of the map with rope climbing and scaling up obstacles (though I do miss using Joel’s immense upper body strength to move those dumpsters around lol). In a stealth game I want creativity and problem solving to be central to the gameplay. I don’t want to be magically handed tools and weapons on a constant basis, to meet every individual need. I want to be forced into resourcefulness, and I don’t want to enter a shoot-out unless I absolutely have to. That said, I’m nearly to the tower checkpoint with Dina, and I’ve only fired my gun twice. The dodge/melee mechanic is neat, but more than anything, having real, actionable help from an AI enables stealth kills even in zones crawling with enemies. On that note, I am playing with a headset, and I’m glad I am, because I find the sounds of the goddam clickers to be all-encompassing this time around and a LOT bigger and scarier than they were in The Last of Us. Holy shit. They’re absolutely terrifying. I can only imagine the horror to come lol.

Now, finally, Abby: I don’t have much to offer on this yet. Abby is not who I thought she’d be. I’ll just say it. Still, the melee battle with her and the runners in the woods was AWESOME. For me, the most fun I’ve had yet, because it was completely different than anything from The Last of Us. Playing her, however, I will say, filled me with foreboding. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to help her. She seems beyond desperate and while deeply sympathetic, she is a new character and her loyalties are not mine...so far. I could be very wrong, and please don’t correct me if I am, but I get the sense she might be a Firefly, or somehow associated with Marlene, and she is looking for Joel, in vengeance. Her group was small and rogue, and they seemed new to the area. All I know is that ND is creating a moral dilemma here, and as to what will become of this, the jury is still out completely.

One small personal criticism, take it or leave it: I don’t personally love that the kiss with Dina and scene with Joel defending Ellie was kept off-stage in the game and left to the trailer. We could have started at the dance. That would have taught us everything we need to know about Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Joel and Ellie’s relationship state. This is my only criticism of the story so far. From a writer’s perspective, it’s just inefficient and clumsy to try and cover all that in expositional dialogue, taking into consideration that many casual players will not have seen all the trailers. Even still, it’s not hurting my experience in any way. Just an observation and maybe a bit of personal opinion on the fact that perhaps the choice to reveal so much scene in pre-release trailers might be a great way to build hype but might not be the most efficient choice in telling the actual story. My two cents!

In the end, I’m overall super excited and can’t wait to keep playing. These are just my own personal thoughts, and I’ll be back with more thoughts soon!! PLEASE NO SPOILERS OR SPOILERY SUGGESTIONS IN THE REPLIES!! I am NOT privy to the leaks and I do NOT want to know what’s coming. Thank you!! ^_^ 

[corallapis]

I wanted to ask about the two classic/vintage actors you’ve been posting about recently. I’ve read the text posts and enjoyed the gif sets, but I was just wondering how you found these two and what’s particularly fascinating about them? Is there an interesting biography about them that you’re reading, or are they just two actors that you’re invested in? Just curious bc it seems they have an interesting history and I’d like to know more. :)

anon, i’m so delighted that you’re intrigued & that you’ve given me an excuse to write a lil treatise :)

put simply: dean martin & jerry lewis were a comedy duo who were partners from 1946-56. they were pretty wildly successful in their day, and they had a great relationship until they didn’t, & then they didn’t speak for 20 years* until frank sinatra surprised them w/ a reunion on live tv. 

to answer your first question, i found them circa 2008 when robbie williams went on ant & dec’s xmas show and they did a rip off/paid tribute to a martin & lewis bit, and then i watched all the clips i could find of them on youtube. my more recent spiral which you have witnessed is due to the fact that i sat down to watch a film & heard perry como’s magic moments & had visceral flashbacks to this fanvid lmao. wish i was kidding. 

like i said, they were rly successful, but it wasn’t bc their comedy was particularly groundbreaking — it’s rly just slapstick & vaudeville, all the classics — but the chemistry between them made (& still makes) them truly entertaining to watch. to paraphrase jerry himself, ppl love to watch other ppl in love, and that’s what they were.

i mean... look, i’m not one for making statements about the plausibility of real-life illicit affairs or whatever, but jerry did, y’know, spend 30 years of his life writing a memoir about their rship and called it “dean and me: a love story” so make of that what you will. personally i think it’s pretty safe to say that jerry was IN love with dean, and whether that was reciprocated or consummated or ever even articulated in a romantic way at all… who knows.

what’s particularly fascinating? oh boy. their rship dynamic which pits their obvious love for each other against their incompatible emotional issues, the questions of a rship which is also The Show — what happens when the business aspect comes to an end? what happens when the public starts to feel entitled to it, even off-stage? — the break-up (woof) and the many subsequent reunions, how no one has a straight answer about the timeline of how they met, the ‘act within an act’ of it all & how much they got away with in front of an audience of millions in the 50s, literally every contradictory word that has ever come out of jerry lewis’ mouth on the subject...

there’s not one particular biography i’m reading bc i’ve. read all of them. (except the ones i can’t get ahold of in ebook form… if you’ve got a link to arthur marx or patti lewis’ books hmu) but i’d say the one i linked above is a good place to start if you’re interested in reading about them. (just be aware that jerry… can be loose with dates & leaves things out. i suspect very intentionally.) if you wanna watch some of their stuff, i would generally avoid their movies for now & instead suggest watching clips of them hosting the colgate comedy hour. the ventriloquist is one of my faves out of their sketches. also talk of the town. also you’ll never get away. also ev’ry street’s a boulevard. i can’t start listing these bc i won’t stop... if you’re just looking for gay antics, here’s a supercut.

*this isn’t true... yes it is... no it isn’t <3

[spnfanficpond]

January 2020 Pond LiveChat Recap - Writing RPF

We had a great time chatting with Taylor,  @impalaimagining​! Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your thoughts and experience!

Our topic this month was Writing RPF, and we talked about the legal, moral, and emotional aspects of writing about real people.  A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut!

We started off the chat with the legal side of things, most of which was covered back when we talked about Monetizing Fan Works back in May. Here are the related links that were brought up:

Wikipedia: Legal issues with fan fiction (The section dealing with RPF is near the bottom under Right of Publicity.) Boiled down, RPF has to deal with a celebrity's Right of Publicity. Famous people have the right to control the commercial use of their name, image, and likeness, sometimes even their broader identity or persona. Most states’ laws on this only apply to uses for commercial gain. So, don't try to get paid directly for RPF, and you're safe.

From NPR: We Stan: Real Person Fan Fiction Comes To Life. This is a fascinating discussion about RPF, the legalities, and how it’s been changing in recent years. This argues that basically since “fiction” is right there in the name, RPF is inherently more legal than regular fan fiction based off of characters. No one is trying to say that the real people involved are actually doing these things, it’s just fiction.

Goodreads Genre: Fan Fiction - Real Person Fiction. When I was researching, this link came up, and I clicked it, not knowing what to expect. Finding that Fan fiction, much less RPF is on Goodreads was surprising to me. (I thought Goodreads was only about books that could be purchased and didn’t touch “unpublished” works, but I guess not?) What I found most interesting was exactly how many of the titles listed on that page are J2-related. There are more J2-related titles than all of the others COMBINED. As a fandom, we rock!

The discussion started with most folks saying they hadn’t considered the legalities of fan fiction, or RPF in particular, when they began writing. Their first concern was just getting the story out of their head and onto the paper. Also, since no one was getting paid for it and it’s so popular, no one questioned the legalities. Also, since it’s fiction, there’s no defamation of character.

@mrswhozeewhatsis​ (Michelle): Most people know that I generally don’t read RPF, unless it’s an AU. Way way way back, when I first started reading fan fiction, I used to read the occasional RPF. Honestly, before SPN, I never really liked an actor enough to want to know more about them. (I've been burned by some jerk actors in the past.) One of the first RPFs I ever read was from Jared's POV, and it contained a scene where he was on stage at a con, and detailed his thoughts. I forget what the inciting incident was, but suddenly he was thinking, "Great, now they're all thinking about how big my dick is," and it made him spiral. Something about that stuck with me, to the point that I cringe every time I see Jared on stage and anything remotely sexual comes up. That's pretty much what stopped me from reading RPF. I have no problem thinking about how big Sam's dick is, but I can't ponder too much about Jared's dick, or I can't look him in the eye when I see him at cons!!!

Taylor: I definitely think there is a very fine line to be walked when you write RPF, and I generally don't cross into the area of writing from an actor's POV.

Q: Is that how you keep it separate so you don’t stare into their faces at a con during a photo op and think about the smut you wrote about them?

Taylor: It can be hard to keep it separate sometimes but it's actually very easy in the moment of a split second photo op. They move so quickly, I don't genuinely think I have ever had the time to consider the things I've written about them while I was talking to and hugging them!

Q: Anyone else who doesn’t read/write RPF, do you think that the whole not being able to look them in the eye is an internal thing for anyone in your life, or just celebs? 

@manawhaat​ (Mana): For example, I have A. FUCKING. LOT. of sex dreams. With tons of people, celebs and people I know in my real life... and I don't want to say that it's jaded me as far as thinking sexual thoughts about people, but in a way it kind of has. I don't have that moral dilemma of not being able to look Jared in the eye after thinking about his dick.  Taylor: I completely agree. I think writing it has made me kind of impervious to it bleeding into my daily life. I see Jared and my heart goes ohmygodwelovehim first and in person, then later when he's not around is when the wowowowbutwhatabouthisdick comes in. Michelle: I don’t think I could write about anyone in a smutty way. Just characters.

Q: I wanted to talk about 'characterization' of rpf. Do other rpf writers out there think of the people as characters and treat them that way, or do you humanize them? Idk if that question makes sense but it's along the same lines of keeping them separate. 

@fogsrollingin​ (Alex): I cast them in other stories when it's rpf. I always write rpf AUs with only a couple exceptions. We know their onscreen mannerisms, so making them astronauts terraforming a new planet with evil aliens on it is like "oh easy". Taylor: Characterization is huge for me. If someone writes an actor outside of the way they portray themselves, it's impossible for me to read. While we don't know these people personally, we know how they act outwardly and in the public eye, and that's enough to get a good idea of the kind of person they would be.  Michelle: I have no trouble reading AUs, because it's just another character who happens to look like and have the name of one of my favorite actors. In AUs, they're characters. If they are actors on a show called Supernatural, then it's too humanizing for me. Taylor: See, Michelle, my mind can't separate it to that degree. If I'm reading about someone named Jared who looks like our Jared? It's Jared. AUs give me a lot of trouble, to be honest.  Both writing and reading. Alex: I feel like it's no different than if Jared did a scifi movie during his summer break from spn & it's so low budget they just kept his real name for his character name.

Q: Do you feel differently reading ship RPF than reader insert RPF?

Michelle: Most of the RPF stories I read are ships, but I do read some reader inserts, too. It’s not an intentional choice either way. Alex: I don't feel differently about it, rly. I know I prefer reading ships over reader insert but that's just my personal jam. Mana: I have a hard time reading ship rpf mainly because I like the versions of my ships that I've built in my head, so when someone deviates from that it is a little turn off for me. Like, your version of Cockles is not the same as my version, which is totally fine, you do you, but it isn't gonna tickle me the same way ya know. so when I get into like non-mainstream ships it's extra difficult to find writers who represent them in the 'right' ways. Taylor: I feel that way about pretty much everything I read, and I think that has a lot to do with the whole characterization piece of it. I know that my idea of and the way I portray Jared or Jensen is probably a million times different than the way other people, including my readers, think of them. I try really hard to make sure the way the actors come across is "right". Mana: I think the one big piece of characterization is kind of using the way they have presented themselves as a moral compass. Obviously they don't present their whole selves so there's always wiggle room and areas where you are free to project your ideas of them into the fic, but that's also the trickiest area and where so many people drop the ball.  Taylor: YES. So, so many people take that wiggle room and take it leaps and bounds beyond what is public (fandom) knowledge. 

Q: How do you feel about RPFs that support certain theories about the wives being beards and such?

Mana: I try to not write anything that would feel as if I'm slandering anyone, etc. I wouldn't want to write a Jensen x reader fic where Danneel cheats on him and that's how they get together. If I mention it at all I just say that they've peacefully and amicably parted ways. If I don't mention it then they simply don't exist in the timeline. But never anything negative about anyone, especially the wives.  @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​ (Kaisha): I don't write smut (only read) so I have a very different interpretation on a lot of the things being discussed. I tend to stick with non-AU, sister/daughter!reader insert RPF fics because I don't feel creative enough branch out beyond that. I feel the same as Mana, and I actually won't read fics that are based on the premise that someone cheated for the storyline to work. Alex: I'm okay if ppl deviate far into fantasy realms tho. As long as it's not too support a real life conspiracy theory about the actors, if ppl wanna write it & others like it, all the more power to them. I mean as long as you're like "I killed the wives during the zombie apocalypse in my fic but I love them in real life please don't kill me" I'm like "cool". Taylor: I avoid bashing fics or beard fics. Admittedly I have one where Jensen and Danneel never got married, but they still had a daughter together and Danneel hid the kid from him until her 5th birthday. That doesn't feel like a bash/slander fic to me because I'm not painting anyone as a bad person - things just played out differently. 

Q: The person who suggested this topic mentioned “how to write your first RPF.” Any suggestions?

Michelle: Have Mana finish it for you! (The only one I’ve ever written, she had to finish for me!) Alex: My first rpf was a ballerina!Jared & yogi!Misha romcom. It was so goofy! Taylor: I don't know if I can even answer that question. It literally just poured out of me when I started. I took the tiny little idea I had in my head (my daydream, as it was previously and so aptly named), and put it into words and it ended up being a 10 part series. Mana: How to write your first rpf: READ RPF FROM A LOT OF DIFFERENT WRITERS. find what works for you and for the people you're writing about. do a couple of trial runs with shorter fics. you have room to play, but try not to stray too far from what they've presented themselves as in real life. Kaisha: For me, when I wrote my first RPF (which was also my first fic), I was in a mental place where I was watching a lot of con videos and reading a lot of sister/daughter fics. It was more "I need an outlet for how I am feeling right now and I don't have anyone to talk to"...so I talked to the image of the boys I had made in my head from what I saw of them online.

Q: Does character shipping affect the RPFs you read? Like, if your OTP is Destiel, do you mainly only read Cockles?

Kaisha: I will read almost anything that's related to one of the Js, either RPF or SPN. But I don't have strong ship feels one way or another that changes what I read/write for RPF. Taylor: I don't know if character ships have any kind of effect on RPF ships. Because there are a lot more people involved in cons than we see on the show, and cons are my primary source of RPF inspiration. Like, we see Henry, what, twice in the show? But Gil McKinney is a whole other story. He's all over the convention circuit (or at least he used to be) and also all over fandom twitter. It just feels easier for me to write RPF because I see these actors in my real life, interacting with other real people. I have interacted with them, which makes things feel a lot more real than writing about two hot fictional dudes from my TV screen. Alex: I'm definitely up for Sam/Dean as much as I'm up for J2. Oddly tho it's Mishalecki at real life con panels that's gotten me totally happy to write/read Mishalecki.

Q: (From Taylor) The piece of RPF I struggle with the most is bringing events from the actors' real lives into my stories. Writing about Jensen and the brewery, about their kids and stories they tell about them at cons, that's where my already grey area turns even more grey. 

Kaisha: I am right there with you Taylor! My fic started as mostly the reader and JJ interacting and then I remember the twins existed, too. And with my new fic I am trying to figure out if the San Jac and FBBC will work in or not. Mana: I'm interested in this, because I don't seem to have that issue or gray area. It just doesn't exist for me and I'd like to hear more about it from you guys. Taylor: It's so hard haha. I have something coming up that deals with Jared being arrested and of course I didn't post it before that whole event went down so now it looks like I'm taking that part of his life and twisting it for my personal fiction needs. Which feels kinda (adult word for "not good").  Kaisha: For me the gray area thing is because I want to write a believable story. A believable story has realistic details and if I am ignoring or overlooking things that my audience knows to be true, I feel it takes them out of the story. Mana: So it's a case of omit it entirely or commit to it entirely? I ask in regards to like FBBC and the kids. Do you feel differently about incorporating those aspects into your fics? would you be more comfortable writing about fbbc than you would the kids? Or does that gray area cover the same on both? Kaisha: The same thing goes for when I beta read something. A detail that I don't remember or agree with will take me out of the story and send me on a research rabbit trail to know if the author is correct with what they said. I want to stay in the story as much as possible and I want that for my readers too. That's probably a good way to differentiate it. If I state in the A/N that J1 only has 1 kid, then I don't have to consider what year the story is occurring in. But if I tell you it's non-AU, well then everything that is happening in our universe should be happening in my story (otherwise, it would be AU, even to the slightest degree). The kids vs. FBBC thing I think could be very personal on which someone feels more comfortable with. I say that because I know ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING about alcohol. Kids on the other hand I get. Taylor: For me it's the same. Just, actual concrete aspects of Jensen's life are harder for me to write about. Because then - again, just for me - that feels like writing from their point of view, which is something I try to avoid.

Q: Do any of you read/write RPF outside of SPN?

Taylor: SPN is my only fandom. Michelle: I tried to read fics from other fandoms, and just couldn’t get into it. I might be getting sucked into The Witcher fandom, though. Haven’t found any Geralt fics that really align with my image of him, though. Alex: There are CW network RPF AUs I read. Taylor: I feel like, as SPN fans, we have a wonderful privilege and incredible pool of writers to choose from when we want to read. I don't know, because like I said SPN is my only fandom, if any other fandom has this level of talent or dedication.

Q: Have you ever read an RPF fic that changed the way you viewed an actor? Or given you a sense of gained insight into their lives?

Michelle: That's actually why I don't read “canon-compliant” RPF, actually. Because then I might think that idea is real, and won't see that it's not, even when proven wrong. Like, maybe Jared actually loves it when we think about how big his dick is? But I can't stop thinking that it embarrasses him and makes him uncomfortable because I read it in that one fic. Kaisha: @crashdevlin​  has a Jensen x reader series that also heavily features Tom Hiddleston. My view of Tom has forever been changed because of her story!  Michelle: My brain is very malleable. Sometimes, I'm so open-minded, my brain falls right out. I have to be careful what I let influence me. Kaisha: It wasn't something that I intended to happen. Crash just wrote a very compelling character and I think my opinion would have been altered no matter who it was that she used as the face. Taylor: I've never read anything that has changed the way I view the actors. I've certainly read things that have given me new ideas about the things they enjoy (bitey and/or rough smut), but nothing that's changed the way they appear in my mind. I think the biggest part of all of this is just remembering that all of this is 100% FICTION and should never be taken as reality in any way, shape, or form.

To close out the chat, Mana requested fic recs! Here are the recs that were mentioned:

Michelle: If you're into serial killer AUs, There's a J2 AU in my AO3 bookmarks that's genius. Adoration. The other RPF bookmark I have is called Beholder. Jared runs an animal shelter, and Jensen is a homeless man with a TBI who gets dumped at the shelter one night.

Alex: My favorite rpf fic is Tails by keep_waking_up. Werefox!Jared & kitsune!Jensen law enforcement murder mystery AU.

Taylor: One of my favorites to read is by @thecleverdame​: Modern Technology. (Jared x reader) This is unfinished but it's quickly becoming one of my favorite Jensen-things I've ever written, AND IT'S AN AU!!! Rockabye. Also, there’s You Saved Me (Jared x Reader). And have a J2 x Reader for funsies! Something is Happening

Kaisha: This is my favorite RPF. Underneath verse (series) - J2 -  Jensen is the undercover FBI agent sent to take out Jared, the boss of Chicago. #Self-promo, but I am pretty proud of this one, too: Nanny, Sister, Daughter...Family (Jenneel with sorta daughter!reader)

Mana: Here’s the Cockles x Reader fic that Michelle and I wrote: Rumor Has It And, of course, (Jenneel x Reader) Fools In Love.

Feel free to reblog with your favorite RPF fics!!

Also, the February LiveChat info is still TBD. Feel free to send in your topic ideas and suggest guest speakers!!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever! Next up is organizing the tagging system on the blog to make it easier for readers to find the stories they’re interesting in and for writers to find the help they’re looking for!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

Say hi to December’s New Members and January’s New Members! (If we missed someone, let us know!)

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We’re getting lots of requests for more Big Fish, lately, but so far, only one applicant! If you know someone you think would be a good Big Fish, tell them to apply!!

[estradioltone]

Why’s my stomach hurting? Why am I feeling so lonely when I have so many messages to answer? I CANNOT have another favorite person. Does that mean I’m doomed to high school loneliness?

When I was fifteen lots of people liked me AND I didn’t have a favorite person. Sean? Sam? Danica S? I’m trying to remember. Alex? Stephanie? What show did we do that year? It was Charlie Brown. Mattress, Charlie Brown, Trial by Jury, Sound of Music, and Alice. Shauna? Alex? Danni? Jonathan? Jordan? Danica made those CDs for me. Gabi? Ellery? Irene? Keziah? There were so many people. And none was the favorite. Kaz? Therone? Felicia? Deja? Corri? Jae? Cassie? Leslie? Laureen? Katy? There were so many people around me and I wasn’t the favorite and no one was my favorite. I wasn’t even talking to Amanda at that point. And I did like her. There were a number of people I was attracted to, and, I didn’t make any moves, bc I didn’t get close enough to them in terms of conversations. I needed that first. Like to be comfortable? Lauren? Was she in focus? I can’t remember much if anything about her now, and I was so into her then. Kari?

I used to change with Kari.

Oliver and his male friends used to change in front of each other.

Kari was so great. We were always friends only. I don’t think either of us ever had feelings for the other. She was such an amazing friend. Caitlin? Anna or Sarah? Sarah F? Janell? This is the first time I’ve dug into the memories of those earlier high school years. It literally feels like a backhoe digging into dirt and clearing it away. Archeologist excavating.

I remember sitting in 204 watching some movie in the dark. Mrs. H was teaching. I don’t have memories. Of what we learned. I never learned in English. I never knew what the fuck was going on I just always got A’s. I wrote that paper about having a peanut allergy. It has terrible racist stereotypes. No one called me out. No teacher. I was fifteen. Today I would e known better. Unless I was a republican. Like I was then. I was very conservative. How was I conservative? It didn’t fit with any part of how I acted. Danielle? Remember that film I made that was literally just everyone swearing. Spencer? I remember so many things. Why did I write that.

I don’t want to remember many things.

Why not? That’s so fucking weird. There are many things I don’t want to remember? Where did that thought come from?

I don’t want to remember bc it hurts too much to remember? That thought just came to me.

I wasn’t hurting during that year. I wasn’t depressed. It was like that time with M in sophomore college. Wow. In that moment sophomore looked like high school sophomore to me. It felt like being in Maine. It felt like mid August two summers ago. It’s summer. It’s June. Two summers ago he sucked my sick for the first time and I couldn’t even get hard. I knew what I was doing was wrong and I forced myself to keep going bc I wanted it. That was my fuck up moment. He kissed me that night. It was like Amanda asking to marry me what the fuck to DATE me. How did that happen? It’s in retrospect I wish I’d said no

The hurt is that if I remember I’ll double remember how

The blue waffle thermal

I remember the car and snow pants but not skiing. I remember kissing and my precut glowing like a river. I got wet like a girl. I got hard like a boy. I don’t know what’s normal.

I remember the night she came to see me at the Estonian concert. “Let’s go over here. Lots of girls like me here.” She later told me that freaked her out not freaked out it was like “ullll” what are the words that describe what that means it’s like a little oh no and yikes at the same time. It’s like when O asked me what my main interest in the relationship was and I said sex. And he had the same reaction. And I said, how could I have ever said something like that. It’s callous. And, it was honest. And then I got attached. Before I was having fun. I was happy.

And when I’m happy and having fun I behave like a disgusting jock boy. Maybe that’s who I essentially am. Maybe I’m choosing to be trans so I can become a different person. I do want to become a different person. Even then I thought back like what the fuck was I doing. Like when I touched G and C’s breasts. And I wasn’t allowed to go to cast parties. I didn’t get to do wild things. Would I have?

I was so many different people. I’m also the person at Sam’s house who was afraid to be there.

Remember Caitlins white dreads. Remember when Safi first came to school or Kylie. Remember how cool and superior you felt. Remember how everyone was lesser in your eyes. Sophie. Edna. Kendra. Nikki. That girl molly sitting on my lap and I was hard as fuck. I didn’t think of that in so long. Was that ninth grade? Or eighth?

We were at Burgerville.

I was just doing whatever I wanted.

Is that who I am in a state of nature?

And, I’m the person who stayed in my room instead of going out for a birthday party.

What was Menucha like that year

I didn’t have many years with older friends after that.

Remember Laura. You were twelve and she was seventeen. But you never really talked after the show ended. Would she hug me? Did she hug me in sixth grade? Was I happy at the end of sixth grade???? I think she hugged me by the 201 door. I can remember it now.

I drew that picture of her.

I said “your eyes aren’t quite even.” Wow that must have hurt her and I could see it in her face.

I did whatever I wanted. I thought I was cool I was trying to be cool at all times.

That was my first summer in Eugene. Jessica Zach Ted. Dr. A. Joe. Nicholas. Brahms. Komm Jesu Komm. Standing on the steps in that rehearsal room. My feet sweaty and stinky as fuck. Black like sweat things coming off my toes. My roommate was Nick.

That moment in the hallway taking down my pants. “Should we go all the way?”

Jessica wanted to be closer than I did. I fall back on ppl when I’m lonely but don’t want closeness when I’m not. I use people. I do what O did to me. He didn’t really love me? Or did he?

I’m single now but I’m not having fun but I need to give it more time and I am being more wild. I started to get wild sophomore year. Sarah G. I thought things had changed. But I didn’t want them to change bc I wanted to be unhappy there??????????????

You’re really cool for a freshman. Others wouldn’t do that.

Well I’m basically a senior bc I’ve already been at my school four years.

High school was my college time in a way. It was my amazing time and I was studying and creating big projects. College was my high school time hating things and not self actualizing and not being myself.

Did I do it on purpose???????????? Is that kind of thing possible???????? I know I’ve thought that before. Can I be faking this all? This little voice says yes. What the fuck. I have to be honest about that little voice. I have to bring it up.

She isn’t going to set the agenda. If I want to keep going on the same subject, I have to push onwards into it. What memories are there to open up there? God this is going to take so long and I want to do other things and I know I want to have done this work of digging through elementary school and things.

Honor choir I was the only freshman and I sang alone and they all clapped and cheered for me. I pooped and made the room stink and I was too embarrassed to say. I didn’t have anyone to sit with. I couldn’t sit with people who seemed cool to me. The directors were like gods. The guys were from Montana. I was wearing my first set of boxer briefs. They said I wasn’t like a normal freshman. The performance meant almost nothing. I was sick to my stomach going. I was sick to my stomach going to Eugene. I was sick to my stomach for years before undergrad. J. K. was too. She told me that later on. We read that same book.

I wanted to prove myself. That other guy was shaving and we were all sharing the bathroom. He was shaving. I took my underwear off before getting in the shower. I wanted to show myself I could. I wanted to expose myself.

Why am I so obsessed with the idea of having been molested or raped now and not earlier in my life? How could that be possible? How could I not have remembered it sooner? Or thought of it? Not in undergrad at all. I must be making up that fear. I make up my whole life. All of life is imagined and made up and fake and shit. All of life is imagined period. How am I tired again and yawning. I was always yawning with the computer on my lap. They said the computer heat makes you infertile. Did I lose my chance of having a bigger dick bc I sat a computer on my lap? I loved having a laptop. And, I never looked at porn porn. I was so abnormal. Everyone else did.

Talking with Jacob about penis size. I didn’t think about size mattering. That Hannah who later must’ve fucked Matt P. He came down with shorts so short his dick was hanging out. It was so exciting to me, and horrifying, bc I liked her. I liked so many people. I like so many people simultaneously. I jump around. I can’t find my place. Maybe I don’t have a place. Singing was my place.

I really liked Cole. How much older is he than me? Less older than I am compared to O. I think. He went to India and then he came back and did what. Was he only 24 or 25? We all thought it was fucked up that he dated Eric L and he was a senior and Eric was a freshman. He came out later. I’m so fucked. W moved on to a whole different kind of life where she has adult friends with children and she and F will probably have a kid sooner than later. She already got pregnant once.

J and M (C) are growing up a lot. I see everyone else changing so much. I’m objectively changing with HRT and whatnot. And therapy. And I don’t feel like I’m changing. When change is slow you don’t feel it. Which of these people is really me? My developmental stages are so mixed up. As a kid I fit better with adults. Even my parents say that. Now I really like nineteen year olds and twenty year olds. And, I just saw H and M tonight and there was a big gap between me and H but I was quite into M. I wanted to look at their breasts and forced myself not to. I wonder if both of them noticed and they talked about it later. I wonder how much people notice the things I try to hide. Am I good at it? Am I better than I think? Which me is really me?

I want my breasts to stay small. So I don’t get judged. I’m very worried about being judged. I’m not a women and I don’t like being called a woman. I felt like a man and no longer a boy if that makes sense. But I can be called a girl. I’m getting very agitated thinking that I’m faking being trans. We all change our gender identities bc it’s the thing to do. Conservatives are right. We should be conservatives. The conservative position is easier to defend. They never have to prove themselves. Their beliefs are the old ones. Why should we change. Life is fine. My mom doesn’t want things to change. Or I’m projecting on her. I tho m I’m better than others and I project my bad things onto them so I don’t deal with them. Is that why I feel so free?

How fucked up am I. I wrote that paper about L dying in sophomore year. I’m more introspective and controlled when I’m in a relationship. With A and W and O. Not D. I had to lie about her attractiveness. But I loved her mind. Or I loved her being there for me when I needed someone.

S isn’t comfortable with me. We went to the beach tgt with her brother. I felt she brought her brother so we would t be alone tgt. She probably knows I have feelings for her. And have for over ten years. She’s honestly so pretty. She never replies when I message her on ig. She’s had so much sex and partied so much. Idk if her hair really came back after her eating disorder. She’s a professor. A real one. Not like fake ass me. I live at home. I’m Jim the gentleman caller. I just want to relive my moment of being cool. She wasn’t cool in high school. And, she had a group. And, she’s secure in herself now. Is she? I don’t know her. She doesn’t engage with me probably bc she knows I have feelings for her. If she had feelings for me she wouldn’t react in that way. She would want to talk to me. Or she’s holding me back bc I’m a nightmare pos.

My dads bloody eyeballs. Bloody eyeball in New York.

I had introspection awake at night on my computer. Maybe if I slept more I’d have a bigger dick. They called me pancake. I’m sad that W’s life is complete without me. As I thought earlier me like O so much must make her feel the same way. S watches all my stories but never messages me. She keeps her distance on purpose and has for years. I need to stop reacting to her posts and messaging her ever. She never ever ever reacts to me. I talked to her about O. That was one of our only conversations. In the past year I mean.

I have so much left to say I have to pee I always tried to hold my excretia in.

I used to put stuff in my butt. They took me to the doctor for it I think. And in my ear. Or was that S. I know I fingered myself when I was quite young. I’ve been obsessed with pooping since forever. Obsessed. Butts. Anal phase development. Freud. We both stuck stuff inside ourselves I think. Or was it only him that stick stuff inside his butt. I can’t remember for sure. I thought it was me.

My blue basketball tracksuit. Orange basketball. So excited. Getting up early and getting fully dressed by myself. So excited. Running to my parents. It was so early. They told me to go back to sleep. They were sleeping. I couldn’t sleep. I read something. It was so boring.

Everyone was asleep at the R house. I woke up early and first and I was so bored. I went to play that football video game. My mom got mad at me for playing that game too much. Did she get mad that morning? Tf was I supposed to do????? I was bored. Why did I get disciplined for such stupid shit. That’s a reason I didn’t respect my parents. This shouldn’t be a rule. Same as eating in the living room whole watching tv.

2:30 tomorrow.

Hold on hold onnnnnnnn the bathroom at OLL.

I make up narratives of being emotionally hurt.

So many fucking thoughts!!!!!!!!

Im making up a catholic school molestation story. Or am I.

That bathroom. That bathroom. Urinals without dividers. The tall skinny ones. Just like in the bathroom but 220. 220. Second floor, room 20. Playing football with Dominick and Kyle and one other boy. Kyle is dead now. Kyle C. Kathryn was friends with him. She posted about him. Angie. Leah senior year.

Your profile picture is you with another girl.

I changed it.

How excellent. Walking with Jessica on 4th of July. Dr. A gave a speech. We stepped forward for How excellent. Why was I involved? I don’t know. I wanted to be. They taught me the song. I sang alto I think. My voice was free. Did anything hurt? I don’t remember it did. I didn’t need Ricola. Or did I. My voice got sore junior year. Not sophomore year. I could sing big. I should’ve always gotten to sing big.

I’m going into a tunnel with my practicing. I need to work on something different.

I’m squeezing my neck like crazy.

The church at OLL.

SW from church really really wants me involved in her prayer organization. I am not a believer. It’s BS. That speaker was so BS.

I need to text W.

The church has blue carpet. “Jesus died on the cross, you can stand for twenty minutes.” My legs hurt so much. I remember lighting candles but that happened in California, not here. When Aunt K got remarried. I found out much later her husband drank himself to death. They got divorced before that happened. He would drink rubbing alcohol. Steven went too fast lighting the candles. I was so mad. Don’t you know what you’re doing. But I had to stay in character. My dad has to go up and relight them. I was humiliated. I danced with Baby Anna. She didn’t recognize me after that. She was so cute. I was 10? She was probably three or four. I was so disappointed when she didn’t know me after that. We swam in our shorts. I got such a bad sunburn. My skin was peeling at the Aunt P ranch. We were reading H P. I’m still scarred from that sunburn. Left shoulder. The soda thing. They had their own automatic soda. That was so cool. Everyone else lived in the real world. Not us. We lived in church world where I wore clothes I hated. And we took family photos I hated.

I’m just born evil nothing happened to me I’ve just always been evil and bad.

I looked in the mirror in the same bathroom mirror the same bathroom mirror where I shaved my unibrow when I was mocked I still do or was I even mocked I was just afraid of being mocked why do I have a unibrow why am I the weird one how can anyone love me when I’m so weird

But it’s not the same mirror bc that ugly cupboard got replaced and the door was so broken and I shared it with S and A. Sharing is such a nightmare. This house is pretty small for three kids and two adults it was at capacity. I wonder if that’s why we fought so much.

I didn’t work on the book today again.

The book.

Not my book.

Not even his book.

The book.

Where’s the ownership dumdum dumbass

But even if it’s not the same mirror it’s the same thought. I looked in the mirror and I believe I even said out loud just now

Crazy that I don’t remember

But if I said it out loud my parents would’ve heard

Why don’t I want my parents to know anything

Did they know when Z said he would kill me if he could or he stole all my friends

I was talking about how Lindsay Lohan was naked in parent trap. She must not have known I said. That excited me so much. Being naked. She was naked. It’s bad but it turns me on so much. It’s not appropriate but I’m so into it.

Even T said my obsession with sex is abnormal. But she agreed with me saying that. Maybe she was just pushing me to do more thinking. Idk if others are telling the truth for sure. My moral compass is off. I always want or need an external standard. This is right. This is wrong. I’m bad. I’m a sinner. If I just be myself I do terrible things. I say I’m just in it for the sex. I say all these girls here like me.

He said what did we used to listen to? Jonsi?

Adele too I said

It’s so fucking weird that we message at all.

It’s weird FOR ME that we message

God I’m so far off topic

Did he really forget what we listened to? Are our moments tgt not seared into his brain like laser and fire? I remember everything. I remember his letter. I remember meeting him by the chapel. I remember sitting on the bench outside the music department and we sat for so long and I was thinking this is weird I should leave but he just kept talking and then it was bc he liked me. I’m sure I still have that first letter in my box of heartbreak which is actually an oversized envelope. I remember seeing him from down the hall and feeling so happy. Am. I really gay? And that happiness was real. And maybe I was his gf and that’s why it didn’t feel gay

If I was abused how come I can have sex without being triggered

After a lifetime of being obsessed with sex how come it doesn’t feel good

I never lose myself in it

It just doesn’t feel that good. Masturbating feels better. Did I not have the right partner

I see little me in a dress

Instead I was in stupid fucking clothes I hated

I wore white socks at St. Luke’s with black pants. My mom told me dont. I didn’t want to listen. Then she was right. She was self satisfied afterwards. “yyyyyyyyyyEP.” Why tf were we even at St. Luke’s. S and A lived behind St. Luke’s. They were so cool. BC was there. I talked about having written an opera. He must’ve been like wtf. I saw him at undergrad at a concert. M said to me who was that guy you were talking to and said he was sexy or something. He was. I wasn’t into him though.

Oh my fucking god I’m so off topic AND I want to get this whole thought out.

S and A were so cool. I can talk to A bc I don’t have sexual interest in him. It was a long time before I knew he was trans. I was trying to put so much stuff together. They were both so fucking cool. S isn’t that cool now to me. And it’s hard for me to talk to her calmly. She had meds. I’m sure she has problems like I have. Maybe that’s why our relationship became weird. Weirdly close but not close and I was always yearning for more like I did with B. But I knew I couldn’t !!!!! That was so fucked up. My legs twitched. I wanted to be her.

Hating boy dress clothes. I always have.

Wanting to be an older woman.

But I’m totally cis.

What am I

I looked in the mirror now like I always did in high school and said I think out loud WHO ARE YOU in an emphatic tone of voice. My face and voice were serious. My eyes were wide. My mouth was set. WHO ARE YOU didn’t mean what’s wrong with you in this case.

Katy is commenting to me again it’s the most interaction we’ve had in years why am I not giving more energy back why am I being aloof maybe bc she out distance there and I’m trying to keep myself safe or I’m hurt or I’m just consumed with other things or I just don’t feel close to her. Her not talking to me hurt a lot. Stop distracting from topic!!!!!!!!!!! T hurt a lot. Then T sent that heart emoji to my post today after “stay well”

Alright

Idk what that means and W sees it so simply and straightforward and I just don’t.

That’s not who she was

I’m obsessed with WAS

WHO ARE YOU meant which of these many different versions of yourself that you experience and present is the real one? How can there be so many?????

I did outpatient at the hospital near sams house and Sam dated Irene and Irene announced her engagement today and both of Irenes parents are dead and we haven’t spoken in decades but were still connected online.

I wish I was walking in snow like when I was hurting over D and I walked so far and my mom called me like what the fuck you’re going to get attacked and I said I used to walk the streets of New York much later than this

Sam dated K and he was never the same after that. I was there with Gabi and Kari and we made deep fried lovin and it was amazing and we loved it and Sam and I could never recapture that although we tried a few times. He always said “what do you want to do” and I didn’t know and neither of us had an idea. I went to so many weird ass coffee meets and hangouts in those first few years after high school. A had a pool party or something. When was the slip n slide party. We had all those AGT parties and tried to recreate or simply create the social life and friends over we should’ve had in high school and I believe my mom was extremely happy bc that’s what she had always wanted, to be the party house, like all the kids coming to play at her house when she was a kid. But how could anyone like coming here with the way she acted. We actually were a party house in elementary school. There’s that day when we all played in the rain and I was wearing red sweatpants. There’s the picture where I wanted the attention and I stood in front of the whole group sideways catching snowflakes on my tongue. We played smear the queer in the frosty grass. The athletic boys were the coolest. K’s older brother Dylan was called superstar on the soccer field. We played so many games at OLL. Do you remember tether ball. Words look weird rn what are letters even. Wall ball and black magic and double black magic and triple black magic and quadruple black magic and four square and kickball and soccer and basketball god we were so competitive it was amazing and so fun

Kickball on the asphalt we always had scraped knees who approved that who let us play like that. Brandon fell and left his teeth in the asphalt or at least that was my image of it. Zero the Hero. One hundreds day. Turbo math. Writing books. Everyone else knew things I didn’t. Star Wars. Everyone knew things I didn’t.

We couldn’t be the party house in middle school. She wasn’t safe. I wanted to die. I deserved to die bc I was so disobedient.

Who was I? The no friends middle school. Won’t let myself poop disgusting fart everyone smelled it too scared to pee off the stairs I had to get approval to go to the outhouse too scared to spray the wasp nest taking down the pole and failing and smashing my hand and it had that big scab and I washed it with hand sanitizer bf that was all I had and maybe that’s what caused my blood clot but it happened so many weeks later how did it happen so much later. I was so into J in college junior year and then she told me the story about fucking that other guy when they were drunk. She even Skyped me. She loved that one guy and then he picked someone else and it ruined everything and I was always starving and eating my cereal too fast but I didn’t want to spend money buying more I only went to Cub like once we rode the bus and took so many pictures and I looked so happy in that moment. And R was there. Before he assaulted me. I didn’t want to touch his dick the memory of touching his dick is literally making me shake rn I need to stop it was so hard and small he was everywhere on campus he did whatever he wanted he was loud everyone loved him stop thinking about him!!!!!!!!!!!

My neck and arms are so tense rn what is wrong with me why did I have so many social problems putting my backpack in those cubbies when we went to eat I was so scared it would be stolen I took it with me I was the only one it was so stupid I was such an envarrassing person I’ve been so controlled in my life by embarrassment only the Asian kids ran they didn’t care what anyone thought of them we laughed at them that was so typical mocking any difference. I read the books of school history trying to understand the values and I finally did I didn’t fit in!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have R and E and C.

The protests are dying down. We’re at the limit of change. It’ll take another death to rile this back up. That’s disgusting but I think it’s true. Things were done in Portland at about 9:30.

I feel sick. I feel legitimately sick.

I feel so sick and my ears are ringing great!!!!!!!!!!! And I saw T and her boyfriend and thought about how I want sex and I’m not fuckable. Which maybe I am. Maybe that’s my essential self. Unfuckable and insecure and anxious and scared of being different and scared of being judged and bc of this always already different and trying to be different so I stand out as a star but not wanting to stand out at the same time. Do I even like singing or like music or do I just want to be famous. I have been so confident that I would be famous. I’m so confident in my ideas. I’m so smart. No one can be more right than me. My co fife to self is despicable.

Maybe I loved being fifteen and being with M and being at A M F and two summers ago with O bc I wasn’t this disgusting insecure person but everyone liked me. I’ve been thinking that that person is my essential self. But maybe the whole thing is that thats NOT ME AT ALL. I’m not meant to be a star or be anyone I’m meant to be a worm and disappear and be nowhere and that’s why I do t have groups and that’s why no one liked me at undergrad and at the same time didn’t I keep myself out of groups on purpose so I would keep honoring high school? Like we keep honoring Leah. Just like I keep holding onto the pain of O to honor the relationship that we had and prove my real love for him. He’s moved on more than I could ever imagine moving on except that’s not true in the sense that I don’t know anything but I must be ABSOLUTELY clear with myself when I say that the reason it’s not true is because whatever I say is an assumption and I’m working on not making assumptions about other people at this point in my life bc I need to act on what people say bc I’m not at all a mind reader. And, I hope that he is thinking of me. But I’m playing with myself. He’s fine if he was here then he would be here. He might be in another state he might be in a whole other relationship.

Don’t fake yourself out. He’s not coming back.

He’s not coming back.

He’s not coming back.

He’s not coming back.

He’s not coming back.

He’s not coming back.

He’s moved on.

He’s moved on.

He’s moved on.

He had at least one other relationship.

He might not be single now.

He’s moved on.

He’s not coming back.

I need to finish this. I avoid the real point. Why does my brain do that. And I want to write down every thought. Why so many digressions

Okay then

I’m typing with my eyes closed sometimes which is something I used to do in high school while I was typing late into the night exactly like I am right now. S always lay facedown on his bed which I thought was fucking weird bc I only lay facedown to masturbate.

He did that in the day time

I kissed so many objects after reading the Star Wars novelization

We played Nanosaur at catholic school and public school.

The computers were in the portable

I never got to play as much as I wanted to

The computers were in the library and I played type to learn. I was watching Star Trek tng with my dad on a summer night and it enthralled me I couldn’t tell when special effects were bad at that age. We had to leave I had indoor soccer with Kirill’s dad and he was a star in the Soviet Union he said but who knows and I went to his house one time to play video games and it was a small apartment and I was so surprised. The preps took him in instantly but why not me WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME WHY IS MY GRIUP THE PPL WHO ARE WEIRD SS FUCK

We funked in the halls people laughed at how I didn’t know how to move myself or in anyway be in my body and I couldn’t let go why couldn’t I let go people who let go looked so cool Sam was our mascot at that high school duhduhduh day I didn’t know what tf I was doing there why was I in ASB it just seemed like the thing to do we tied I was relieved when I lost I missed the midnight going into the secret places in the school thing fuck my life I missed so many things I wanted

GOD DAMN JT

There were younger boys who went to pee in our one and only bathroom and they took their pants all the way down to their ankles and the older boys came in and made fun of them while they were still right there and I heard it and made sure not to be like the kindergarten boys so I wouldn’t be made fun of. I think I peed like that before that day. It didn’t matter??? Smooth white butts. There was one brown person in the class named Tharik. Maybe not but we were so white.

Is there anything else to remember about that moment?

Sinks where you pushed the bar at the feet to turn on the water

I’ve been to so many airport sinks and the urinals have no dividers

I always prayed no one else would be in the bathroom why was I so scared to pee beside someone I would be seen why didn’t I want to be seen? Other times I was dying to be seen. How did my desires change so much

Why was I obsessed with sex. I had fantasies of Hoth of magic school bus I was naked in so many. I didn’t want the doctor to examine my penis. I said can my mom do it instead and tell you. No he said but she can sit in the room. Okay he said. I was so scared. Why was I so scared. Why didn’t I handle it normally. Why I’m gods name would I want my mom to see my dick. What the fuck was wrong with me.

Is there ever a time I look back on myself and think wow that was a good decision I’m proud of that. No! I have happy moments like being the only freshman in honor choir or playing the zither or whatever it’s called with A

Am I more evolved than I was then

I choose not to act or do anything bc at least that way I can’t make any mistakes and not acting is also a mistake I can’t bear to do what I did in the past and then somehow I do it before I realize I’m doing it

Why was I obsessed with sex

I read about luke and Leia kissing in that movelization and I kissed so many things around the house trying to capture the description from the boom of how her lips felt. There were choose your own adventure books and i always imagined myself in them and unmade so many self insert fantasies where all the characters were still there. the boys were my friends and the girls were my lovers. I think OLL was where I read junior Jedi knights. We used to go to the library so much the old one and I read through so much Star Wars and Star Trek science fiction. I was never attracted to the boys. I never judged the stories I just enjoyed the imagination. And I read Ancient Greek mhths. I’m a fucking nerd and nothing nobody who got thrust into the center stage and suddenly I had some popularity and then I had that personality push and pull. Always being criticized. A criticized me and W criticized me after my recital like right after and A took down the program in Eugene and Ö tore me apart so many times including after the MC. Anneke was so fucking attractive.

God

I never should have had attention. I liked so much stupid nerd stuff. But I was cool in elementary school. I feel like wherever I am I try to make the stuff I like cool and bring people to me. I can’t fit into them. Music is a great way to do that bc everyone loves music.

I have always had false ideas of who I am but when I’m depressed I can be realistic. That’s why it’s good for me to be depressed. I’m a sinner and no good and deserve it. I deserve to feel bad. It’s penance. I deserve it.

That’s not what I should feel and that’s not what my brain feels but I write down stuff like that bc that’s what my heart is saying. Those could even be in quotes. That’s being said by a different me inside me if that makes any sense.

I’m so privileged. What do people think when they see me. Do I not have more followers and more story views bc I’m a fucking loser and that’s what people see? But I liked myself. I liked what I saw. I liked it. But it wasn’t or isn’t good enough for other people. My opinions grate. My opinions drive people away. Why do I always have such strong opinions.

I never do anything part way

I started masurbating so early. How did I find it

Don’t message back fast. They’re very inconsistent. You’re hoping for much more than they will ever give. You give what you look to receive. You don’t give what people deserve. You don’t give based on the real quality of your relationship but by what you want it to be or you give without regard for yourself and only regard for pleasing the other. A. W. O. D.

No boundaries. Too many boundaries. Inappropriate feelings. I do so much to avoid inappropriate feelings.

What’s inappropriate

Wrong

You should have sexual feelings for that person

You shouldn’t like people that much older or that much younger. I never knew him when he wasn’t an adult I stg

I can’t remember any sexual feelings at all in third grade. I remember so many times when I thought wby dont I like anyone. I remember like forcing myself to like K in fifth grade. I end up dating or whatever people I’m not attracted to. I see someone in them that isn’t the real them and then I expect them to act like that person

I guess I tried to change O. I’m the bad one

Idk if that’s true that I tried to change him.

But I definitely might say x is a good decision in my opinion. Stuff like that.

Am I asexual? The question doesn’t stop coming back to me.

Can I remember anything. I don’t fucking know.

I played with my penis from a time when I was very young.

W feels natural for me but wrong. That’s not who I am.

K doesn’t feel natural these days most of the time and idk why. Is she just a costume :( I don’t want her to be but maybe she is. I have to face all my inner voices. Avoiding them has hurt me a lot.

I don’t see people for who they are. For who they are inside I see them. Nope. That’s my projection. Who I think they could be which is another way of saying who I want them to be. Stupid stupid stupid.

Zuko

Rubbing my dick on my bed felt good. Rubbing it on blankets felt better. Pulling down my pants and then pulling down my underwear. Better and better and better. I didn’t think to masturbate with my hand for years. I went through so much shampoo. I came in so many showers. Once I was scared I would get my sister pregnant bc I came in the tub. I came in my grandparents’ bathrooms. Both of them. My dads dad doesn’t hardly seem like part of the family.

Why don’t i remember more?

Because there’s nothing else to remember.

Each experience is a different me. How will I ever know who the me me is. So many different selves. So many masks. A different person around every single person. Only O and D knew the full me. Not A or W. They were my sex friends and we were in a relationship. Sex was what I wanted. I turned into their emotional support doll. They didn’t support me. I don’t tell W things. She isn’t on my sinsta. I haven’t told her about it. She would be hurt that I didn’t. And that I wouldn’t add her. Don’t give people things they can’t handle. She doesn’t use my girl name. I wonder if O knows I changed my name online. It doesn’t matter. He’s not part of it.

She doesn’t understand a lot. A doesn’t understand a lot. There are these lines right. They’re not like me. But we have sex. Sex is so important to me bc they’re sex friends. But then I get sucked in emotionally. Same with O. We were sex friends that got emotional.

I never had sex that satisfied me.

There’s a gap of why sex why me. Etc. Why secret. I’ve always been a secret whore like lots of white girls.

I’m obsessed with symmetry too. I’m not normal. I hate seeing S’s name in my text suggestions or whatever they’re called. predictive text.

I’ve always been obsessed with symmetry. Idk where that came from. I can’t stand asymmetry in my body which ofc we all have bc nothing is perfect in nature in a mathematical sense.

Left right right left

Up left down right down left up right

I do that pattern constantly. Teeth tongue mouth eyes feet

I’ve done that since forever. Why

Idk

Nothing comes from nothing but that doesn’t mean it came from severe sexual trauma either

I’m trying to find trauma just find sexual thoughts in the past instead

Like my dad giving me that one shirt sex talk and how uncomfortable it was and how I thought about balls or how sex was always trash and we had to go to bed when our parents were watching a movie did they ever make out there was no physicality in their relationship ever. She has her couch my dad has his chair

I don’t want to be physical with them I do with everyone else maybe I’m the abuser maybe I was born that way I kissed everyone they didn’t want it maybe Mrs. H was right to punish me that way. I feel like my sexual interest started before kindergarten

Masturbatimg has always been fantasy time. Sometimes memory time. Sometimes creating fantasy memories. Sometimes living out things I read. Erotica really is the superior porn

I masturbated like crazy, and, I didn’t know any sexual terms. Bisexual is when the woman is older than the man LMAO

I think already in first grade or so I didn’t tell my parents about school. I didn’t want to. Everyone knew who we were. Big ass silver van. We always were the last to leave anything. Always talking like crazy. Public was our only freedom even though it was our fake selves. I kicked the rock into Mrs. G’s ankle. My mom shouted at me. We were just playing. AND I know that I knew I was being risky. We ran laps around the school. It was always hard for me. Running. I always hated it. I couldn’t push myself. That Mikaela or Michaela or however she spelled her name was ahead of me on the sidewalk. She was faster than me. We ran laps under the covered area. That was where we were allowed to play during rain time. I told Jesse she was dat and she said that’s a black mark on my soul and a sin. H E L L H E double L H E double hockey sticks

I peed my pants and somehow Mrs. H knew

[strpaloma]

EIZA GONZALEZ, FEMALE, SHE/HER-——- Paloma Vega has been identified as a twenty-eight-year-old resident with super strength. their files indicate that they work as an actress, and may have no affiliation. they are known to be talented and jaded, and knew the deceased because she tried to be a whistleblower on a mutant testing operation years ago only for no one to believe her. (Louisa, she/her, 19, est )

TW: drugs, gaslighting

Paloma Vega was born for the spotlight. She grew up in Hollywood and from the moment she saw her first movie she knew she was destined to be on the screen. She got her power very early. From the age of five she was a whirlwind of a child, accidentally ripping doors off hinges and causing the family repair contractor to just become part of the family. It took her a while to gain control of her strength, but that is probably just because it takes five-year-olds forever to gain control of anything.

Little Paloma didn’t let her power distract her movement towards her goal. Every day she would come home from kindergarten and beg her parents to get her in front of some cameras. She would throw very destructive temper tantrums about the fact that she didn’t have a talent agent, a concept generally beyond most five-year-olds. Eventually her parents caved in and started taking her to auditions for child actors.

She was cast in a few commercials very quickly. Paloma was a beautiful child and had an energy and enthusiasm that was unparalleled. The tantrums stopped. She reined in control of her strength. When she was seven she got her big break as the titular character in “Raising Lola”, a sitcom about a family of non-mutants and their daughter who has super-strength. It had a laugh track. It was terribly written. It won no awards. But it was extremely popular nonetheless, and so it stayed on the air far longer than it should have. Her mother homeschooled her as Raising Lola filmed.

After the sitcom, opportunities started throwing themselves at her. There seemed to be no limit to how far her star could rise. She acted in a wide variety of projects before carving out a home for herself in the action movie genre. For many years she was action’s silver screen darling, playing a diverse portfolio of heroes and femme fatales and detectives and damsels that all probably should have been wearing just a little bit more clothing.

Then, during a film shoot in Diamond City, she witnessed something odd: a strange glow from the windows of a supposedly abandoned warehouse. She had spent enough time playing hero that part of her had begun to believe she was one. So, on a reckless impulse, she ripped the door to the warehouse off its hinges and waltzed into a mutant testing facility. Needless to say, she was immediately captured.

Most of her time in the facility is exceptionally blurry. She couldn’t be kept in restraints because of her power, so instead they kept her heavily sedated at all times. Occasionally she caught names and faces- among them, the name Raúl Suarez- but nothing more concrete.

One day, about two months into her stay there, someone made a mistake. Maybe they gave her the wrong dosage, or they gave it too late, or they forgot to give it at all, but Paloma woke up from her medicated fog. She immediately burst through the wall of the facility, kept running, and didn’t look back. She freed no other test subjects, she fought no testers, she just ran. In that moment she realized she wasn’t the hero after all. She didn’t have it in her.

Paloma did, however, run straight to the DCPD. She told anyone there who would listen about the testing facility- about where it was and what went on inside, about the names she had heard, the faces she had seen. Unfortunately, Paloma had made a key mistake. She was an A-Lister who had gone missing on set for two months, and the gossip columns had mostly hypothesized she was on a drug bender somewhere. Now she was showing up at a police station extremely disheveled, with drug tests showing she was high as a kite on a strange concoction of painkillers, confirming the rumors. She was laughed off by every officer except one, who kindly said they would check out the facility tomorrow. Only by the time tomorrow came the facility was gone, and the warehouse was just a warehouse.

For a few days Paloma wondered if she really was just a celebrity recovering from some bad trip because she’d been gaslit to hell, but when she tried to get back to work she found peculiar roadblocks that drugs couldn’t explain away. Yes, her first instinct wasn’t to find out more about what had happened, it wasn’t to find other cops or heroes who would listen, it was to act again, even despite the fact that she was going through heavy withdrawl symptoms. Above all else, it is her passion for acting that drives her. 

She returned to the set of the movie she had been shooting before she went into the facility in hopes that they had miraculously been waiting for her. No, her part had been recast. Fine. Understandable, it’s a tough industry and she was missing for two months. She called up her agent she had worked with for twelve years and he answered the phone only to say that he no longer wanted to work with her. Sad, but maybe it was better for his PR if he didn’t work with people who were suspected addicts. As she ran through her list of industry contacts from the A-Listers to the guy who directs the commercials for male pattern baldness medication, every single one of them turned her down. That cued her that something sinister had actually happened. If anything, her two month absence should only have made her a more desirable hire given all the press she’d gotten. Whoever was orchestrating her blacklisting clearly had one hell of a reach- Though she could never fully shake the thought that maybe it all had just been one bad trip.

In theory, she could have gone to the press with her story. None of her press contacts seemed to be blocking her the way her film contacts were. But she had learned a lesson. If she didn’t have evidence, no one would believe her and she would only become more of a laughingstock.

She stayed in Diamond City after the debacle (which was two years ago) because she didn’t want to go back to Hollywood and stare at the stardom she could no longer have. The whole incident left her jaded as hell. Her career and reputation she’d curated for over twenty years was gone overnight and she didn’t have the skillset to do anything about it. On top of that, the people who did have those skills didn’t believe her. She spent most of those two years trying to kick a painkiller addiction and only slightly succeeding, telling the press her early retirement was a personal choice (super false), and keeping her head down.

And then a few weeks ago Raúl Suarez died and his speculated connection to the underground was released to the public and she knew, she knew she wasn’t crazy and finally people would believe her and finally she would be able to act again and she wasn’t crazy and-. No. Calm down, Paloma. Nothing was solid yet. There was still nothing she could contribute to the investigation and she didn’t exactly trust the DCPD. Besides, even if they uncovered the whole operation it wouldn’t necessarily un-blacklist her.

But for the first time in a long time, Paloma has begun to hope.

TLDR: A-list action movie star makes a dumb decision, ends up in a mutant testing facility, escapes but finds she’s been blacklisted from the film industry and loses her sense of purpose.

Power: She has super strength. It’s pretty straightforward. She’s never done any combat training other than stage/stunt training because she’s a normal civilian though so like she doesn’t really know how to use it in a Useful Manner ya know? Other than Lifting Stuff and Pushing Stuff. She hasn’t learned how to be a badass, but with some actual training she could probably become a real powerhouse. 

Personality: Paloma is a jaded diva. She won’t sign autographs, she’s incredibly cynical, and she’s fairly paranoid. She’s not mean (bc i can’t play ppl who are Mean), she’s just distinctly not nice. However, it’s worth noting that she can change her personality at the drop of a hat as needed. #acting

Wanted Connections:

Under construction i gotta think on this but hmu for whatever

[assholemurphy]

i am incredibly sad that i only have like, 1 extra adderall left (i may have to find somewhere to buy more from, since i only get like, enough for the month with my prescription, the only reason i had extras this month is bc it took a week for me to be able to get my prescription filled, so i literally had to go a week w/o adderall and i don’t wanna do that again, ever, it was hell, esp bc i ran out of sudafed, too, that week) bc holy fucking shit am i awake. i’m getting so much done. i took a shower and then highlighted all of the units in my script, which is usually hard to focus on bc it’s so dull, and i got another 15 units done, so i’ve only got like 30 left and i’m still wide awake and focused AF. like, i’m p sure that colors have smells, but also, like, the world is so intense and amazing. i feel fucking fantastic. i kinda wanna go skydiving, but like, not until i get my hw done, ya know?

but i’ve got 30 more units to do, then i’ve gotta make a graph, but after that, i’m done with the project and can move on. depending on how i feel/what time it is when i get that done (bc if it’s past 3:30/4a, i can’t sleep, i’ve got to stay up bc if not, i won’t wake up in time for class, but also, if i still feel this awake, then there’s rly no point to sleeping bc i won’t be able to, anyway) i might sleep, or i might start working on my playwriting assignment (bc that’s due mon @ 2p and i’ve got to write 6 1-min monologues for my characters) and watch the first 30min of shrek: the musical (bc i gotta have that done by fri @ 9a bc we’re watching it in class and that’s where we’re picking up at since the audio wouldn’t work in class, so it’s hw to watch the first 30 of it, but we can watch all of it, if we want, idk if i will, i’ve got too much to do and if i watch all of it, then there’ll be no point of going to class bc i hate rewatching things bc i’ve got a damn near eidetic memory for movies/books and certain other things, depending on how much i’m paying attention, but almost always books/movies unless i find them boring and don’t care abt them, so it would be stupid to watch all of it and then be bored in class), then maybe read some of after the fall (the script i’m pulling my monologue from for acting i) and do the assignment that goes with that (bc it’s due tues @ 9:30a). after that i should do my therapy hw (we’re still working on stuck points and i’ve got like, 5 more sheets, maybe more, to fill out) bc that’ll be due at my next counselling appt, which i think is next week, i’ll have to call them, but it’ll take abt an hour and it’ll emotionally drain me.

i think that’s abt it for hw, tho, but all of that’ll take roughly 9 hours, which means i def won’t be able to do it all tonight, but i can get most of it done if i don’t sleep, which means i’ll have more time for sleep/writing/literally everything else on the weekend. i might even be lucky enough to be able to get drunk. maybe. i’d have to start drinking at like, 3p and stop at like, 6p for it to all be out of my system so i can get to bed by 2/3a. so that’s a maybe. but a nice maybe.

ofc, i’ve got non hw stuff to do, too. i’ve got to make a list of roommate requirements so i can start looking for a new one (i’ve also got to talk to goldilocks to see when she plans to move out, bc like hell am i moving out, all the bills except her half of the lease are in my name and most of the furniture (aside from her personal stuff and the coffee table) is mine and i don’t want to have to move ALL of it out and into a new place, plus it’s her decision to not be roommates, so it’s on her, not me, and i won’t budge, not this time). then i’ve got to get my study/organization binder made so things’ll be easier to keep track of. i’ve got to do some cleaning (taking out the trash, cleaning up my side of the living room (we didn’t divide it, it’s just where the couches are so we stick to our couches most of the time) and the coffee table). then laundry, gotta do laundry, i’m almost out of socks.

ofc, i might have to start on my part of the second part of the group project. i wanna design costumes for the play, if neither of the others is doing that, which i hope they aren’t, bc i don’t know enough abt any of the other elements of production to do something else. but if i have to, i can try to do sound, maybe, that’s my second choice. so, i may have to start on that this weekend. i’ll talk to hurricane bianca and tim the toolman taylor and see what they’re doing for it probs on fri if not tomorrow at rehearsal. then i can start on my part and get it finished ahead of time to prove i’m capable, when i’ve got my shit together and am not having a breakdown every week. then, after i talk to prof j abt what i’m supposed to do for the show (something with finding times for freeze frames and spotlights, which is fun, but i’m worried my comdic timing isn’t the same as everyone else’s bc i’m autistic, so my sense of humor is a bit skewed, ya know? but anyway, prof j specifically told goldilocks (who is stage manager, i’m one of two assistant stage managers) to have me do it, so i’m afraid i’m being set up to fail bc i know nothing abt theatre, rly, and i’m always paranoid abt these things, but i’m also kinda thinking it might be bc she actually thinks i can do it, which sounds unrealistic, but she’s not a mean person, so i’m willing to bet it’s that one. but i need to ask her what all she needs me to do, bc goldilocks has no clue, which was so fucking helpful, what a great stage manager she is (no, srsly, idk if i bitched abt this earlier or not, but she’s absolutely horrible at this shit so far and i can’t stand working under her bc i hate working under incompetent ppl bc i feel it makes me look incompetent, too, if the job isn’t done right, even if it’s not my fault bc i wasn’t in charge and i’m always, always terrified to look stupid or incapable in the eyes of others). so, i’ve got to ask prof j abt what all i need to do bc i’m p sure the advice given to me by the lighting tech (who is apparently a decent stage manager, tho i doubt it, truly, she doesn’t have the personality for it, she’s too pushy and it makes her hard to work with, but that might just be bc i don’t like her as a person, so i’m reserving judgement until i see her in the position) is wrong bc it makes no sense, is way too hard, doesn’t actually help with anything and gives me a headache (bc mapping out the goddamn blocking is impossible when the actors do diff things every fucking night, wtf??? do the same shit, you assholes! but it’s also useless bc it doesn’t tell anyone where the spotlights/freeze frames should be, and blocking isn’t my job, it’s the other asm’s (who i don’t have a nickname for, but will probs have before the end of rehearsal) so why she’s not doing it, idk???) so i’ll ask tomorrow.

so, i’m looking at 9 hours hw now, then 30 min of cleaning, 3 hours of other paperwork shit, and potentially 4 hours of hw and 2 hours of theatre stuff this weekend. which means i can get at least 10 hours of sleep per night and get some writing done, if i finish most of my hw now. i think that’s worth one sleepless night. it rly is. so, here’s to hoping for at least one day off this week.

but if i don’t sleep, i’ll probs crash after rehearsal tomorrow night, unless i can convince my friends to come over and hang out, since they won’t be here this weekend and i kinda need their help making the roommate requirement list bc otherwise it’s just gonna be like ‘can’t leave time on the microwave after they’re done using it’ and ‘must know how to use headphones when others are studying in the living room’ and ‘must not whine when i want to stay in my room and do work instead of being around them 24/7′ (tho, goldilocks doesn’t spend much time with me anymore, which is fine, i guess, but it’s a complete 180 from what she used to do and honestly, i’m offended bc i caved and started staying in the living room and now it just feels weird not being in the living room and idk what to do abt any of this). i need real things, too, like, big concerns that i’ll forget abt when writing it, and i need to know if my requirements are petty or things that aren’t specific to most ppl, just goldilocks. and it’d be nice to hang out with them and shit.

anyway, this is rly long and rambly, but i rly need to vent all of this shit somewhere, it helps me sort my brain out. i don’t actually expect anyone to read it and you can always blacklist my personal tag ‘iz says stuff’ if you don’t want this shit on your dash. but if you do read them, then you’re always welcome to come to my inbox and be like ‘quit bitching and get back to work, dumbass’ or something. 

[prynnehesters]

why i hate college theatre majors, an essay perhaps

ok, so i was in theatre in high school. heck, i was in theatre when i was in 4th grade, but in high school and elementary school, i was an actor, whereas in college i was a techie, so mayhaps that is why my experience is terrible. but here we go:

elementary school was a local theatre which focused on getting children into acting coming to various schools in our district and directing like, 1 show a year. it lasted for a few months and gave 50 kids grades 4-6 (although it changed to 3-5 probably years after i left because our district changed) something to do after school. i never got big parts, but i always ended up hating the director because they sounded fake or were a bitch or whatever and i never got big roles but i mean, whatever. i was honestly in it for the cast parties, but those were regulated too and i couldn’t have all the pizza i wanted (disappointing). idk but like, all i remember from elementary school was kids being mean to me, but me still going back to do theatre, like an abusive relationship

in junior high, my cousin scared me out of doing theatre, so i didn’t do it until 9th grade when i needed more electives since i hated choir and only had sports

in high school, our drama club was majority student run. in previous years (like when i was in grade 7) it was run by an art teacher and there was this amazing student director but they graduated, so then drama club was in a rut, but it got fished out after a year of dealing w this shitty history teacher, and then we had some amazing student directors, but then right before i left drama sunk back into the hole and then got fished out again. idk, we’ve had different periods. i just hated musicals because i never had fun during them and the songs were annoying. also as an actor i hated getting small parts but i loved drama club so much but my parents were discouraging when it came to it and it fell apart my senior year so i decided to study science and went to college w that mindset

i didn’t really interact w theatre kids my first 2 years of college...it was bits and pieces of occasional thtr ppl, and most of the ppl i met were tech ppl and they were chill. i met one actor guy, he was an RA and an asshole

it wasn’t really until my 3rd year at the end of it in thtr 101 but everyone was chill and the proff was chill and i got involved in a big musical and worked backstage w some chill ppl and this one chick who ended up being really bad. her name was a slur and she was just...that annoying cute girl who knows she’s cute so she’ll use it to be annoying to guys...i hate ppl like that. at the time she was a thtr minor, but she changed to major shortly afterwards and i think she’s one of those ppl who wants to be an actor but isn’t good enough imo. idk, she’s a tryhard

and then i jumped full into the world of thtr at my uni after that class

i auditioned for the big musical and i went in there anxious as hell and ran out sobbing because i flubbed my audition. the teacher didn’t even remember me and i had to reintroduce myself 

i worked on a production as a run crew member and that production was awful. like, 2 of the ppl i worked with were ok, but almost all of the actors were trash, the director was trash, and the freshmen backstage workers sucked ass. also the stage manager was an asshole. the only cool ppl were the lead female and one of the freshmen backstage, but i worry about him. one of the freshmen girls backstage gave me the wrong vibes and i think 1 of the guys faded into the void and so did she. 

i took an acting class for funzies and it was fun but so many of the ppl in the class rang fake to me so i couldn’t take it seriously. also there were a lot of assholes. idk i just remember i told a girl i was autistic, but in super vague terms and she just stared at me for what seemed like an hour and then left. i later found out she lived in a single room so...ooop

and because i talked abt shitty thtr kids it made ppl seem to think i was a thtr kid....what the fuck!?!?!?! like, my stem major breatheren are boring af!!! there’s nothing to talk abt there. they’re boring and basic and like beer. that’s it!!!! thtr ppl are drama on wheels...

idk...just actors seem like ass and i felt like i was both butting into their conversations and being actively ignored

a lot of actors were total dicks to me

they just talk like twitter is real life and real life is twitter

what else....????? um, since they’re in college they can’t just enjoy popular theatre, they have to like weird edgy bullshit and the only ppl who come to see shows at uni are ppl who have to and their friends and family

also while working on a show i had to deal w actors who were fake deep and they acted like being an actor was so hard and whatever...like literally so many actors just get plucked off the streets nowadays

the worst theatre kids are the ones who hate movies tbh. like the movie stans are annoying...but those who actively hate movies are on another level 

also i managed to piss off a property designer one time because i was disappointed that she used axe as a lesbian and i think she forgot about the encounter but she was probably the worst techie i met 

actors hate it when they have to act as techies because they’re better than it, or so they think

most techies are fine, but there are those techies

most actors are awful, but then there are some genuine ppl who are alright

i was a prop assistant on a play and their team was too big and they were unorganized and the playwright was an asshole. she’s still writing shitty plays and having them produced by local theatres and i think she sucks and she was one of the most awful ppl who thinks she’s hot shit bcuz she made it to 400 level acting 

just....actors in general because our program is catered to them because they level up essentially every year and techies take like, 1 class, and boom, they’re a stage manager

a lot of the writing they write is “fake deep”. like, i remember one guy was sharing his piece on these research scientists and one of them gets naked for no reason whatsoever and then ppl were talking about how “deep” it was and i was disgusted because the guy who wrote it was like “huh, i haven’t thought of it in that way...but i totally meant it like that”

my playwrighting class in general was a nightmare. so many of those plays were shite. i apparently was one of the best playwrights and the other ones who were “the best” were the girl who basically wrote wolf 359 but in a submarine, some guy who wrote a play about grindr, and a girl who just wrote random shit

i worked in a professional theatre and they were so much nicer...like my tech bros were chill and we got good ass cheese

in conclusion, theatre majors suck. they’re cliquey, they’re stuck up, and they think they’re better than you. im staying away from theatre for a while. i might go and work in event planning and tech stuff, but idk

fuck. college. theatre. majors.

end rant

[pekorosu]

sticking all my rambly notes about the wu xia bits under the cut.

warning for spoilers and all.

- they spent 3 months filming in tengchong, yunnan province. it's a highland area, about 2000 metres above sea level. kenji initially expressed some doubt at whether they could even pull off action scenes in such a place (bc breathing became quicker than usual).

- the movie was originally titled "同謀者" (the accomplice?)

(※ i think it refers to the conversation between liu jinxi and xu baijiu... "when one man sins, we all share his sin. we are all accomplices"? maybe that would've been too on the nose haha)

- the most consistent keywords in the early stages were [kung fu], [rashomon] and [discovery channel]

- they used shaw brothers movies as reference, with the intention of reviving "kung fu movies" in a way that would suit the 21st century.

- he talks a bit about the research that went into developing the action. stuff like how it wasn’t possible to half-ass the fight scenes when it comes to Real Kung Fu Movies(tm) unlike modern action flicks. so they drew inspiration from lau kar-leung's "classic, old school" kung fu. they watched his movies, copied the moves + camera angles exactly and studied them to figure out how to capture the right look and all.

- there's a lot of specifics re: martial arts styles that i don't know how to translate, but anyway donnie uses hung ga kuen for this movie.

(※ there are actually some videos on youtube breaking down his moves. it's p cool haha).

- kenji thinks it doesn’t feel right to call the movie "wu xia" bc everything that goes into the action speaks more of a "kung fu movie" as opposed to a "wu xia movie"

- he also jokes that they probably couldn’t name the movie "kung fu" since there's already a "kung fu hustle" out there. 

(※ that movie's actually named "功夫 (kung fu)" in chinese lmao i totally didn't know that)

- [rashomon] refers to how they wanted to infuse a similar concept of "the truth will look different from different POVs" into the action scenes. it was difficult to work out but kenji feels like they’ve achieved something fresh and new from an action perspective.

- [discovery channel] refers to how director peter chan came across a programme, smth like "the science of martial arts" on discovery channel, which led to the idea of showing viewers through CGI what goes on inside the body.

- kenji had been assigned the role of action choreographer** for this movie. he also had a minor acting role. additionally, he had no stunt double so he p much had to do everything by himself. donnie, who knew exactly where kenji’s limits were, would push him to the very edge. kenji mentions that he'd get minor injuries almost every day just trying to meet such high demands. he’d often catch himself thinking (jokingly) "i'm gonna murder this guy" lmao...

(※ here’s a video of him doing the same stunt 13 times.)

**specifically [ 動作指導 ]. donnie’s the action director [ 動作導演 ] and action designer [ 動作設計 ]. tbh they all sound the same to me but i think the choreographer does more... guiding? on a smaller scale? while donnie’s job is more in terms of the bigger picture? IDEK i’m just guessing.

- he also goes "it's difficult to breathe even when we’re just walking! i swear, at this rate, i'll be able to run a full marathon when i get back to japan..."

- kenji thinks kara hui (plays the badass murder lady) is scary bc when he tried giving her some direction, she retorted rather curtly with "i know that!" x_x

- there were plans to cast older, more nostalgic (male) martial arts stars for kara hui's part but someone (probably donnie?) suggested "a woman would be good" and so it ended up being kara. 

- kenji tho. “why did it have to be this scary lady...”

- at some point while they were location scouting by a cliff, kenji slipped and fell about 8 metres into the river! his life was seriously on the line there bc RAPID CURRENTS but luckily he’d managed to grab onto a protruding boulder and climb out somehow.

it was a pretty rocky area so he was grazed all over. literally no one knew where he had disappeared to so when he showed up covered in blood, everyone started freaking out. in the middle of all that, donnie just pulled out his personal phone and took pictures lol.

(※ documented in this bts clip)

- the scenery on the way to the hospital was so beautiful that at one point kenji wondered "what if... i'm actually dead right now??"

- when kaneshiro takeshi got a look at his injury-covered back, for some reason he yelled "unbelieeevaablllee!!" in osaka-ben and asked, "hey hey kenji, can i take a picture? i wanna send it to my mom, scare her a little by making it seem like i was the one who got injured."

- kenji: “i laughed because it was pretty much the same reaction as donnie.”

- he mentions that the staff gathered on set were of various nationalities so you would hear a mix of mandarin, cantonese, english, thai and japanese being spoken.

- because there were multilingual ppl on set (ESP takeshi), kenji couldn't carelessly curse in japanese anymore. usually when he's feeling extremely stressed out he'd be yelling things like "just die everyone!" in jp lmao

- he says takeshi is a rly interesting person. talks about how he went around suggesting eccentric ideas and asking people "hey, wouldn't it be more interesting if i did this?"

- the sichuanese thing was takeshi’s idea. 

- the little finger swipe here was also an ad lib lol 

- those cows in the scene where kara hui's character gets stampeded on? there were stunt people inside the cows moving them manually!

- they didn't want to resort to CGI, thinking there would be a risk of it coming across as fake. like even if just ONE small part looked fake, the audience will start wondering if the rest of the fight scene they'd painstakingly worked on was fake too and they didn't want that.

- "no! cows don't run like that!!" - donnie, taking his job directing stuntmen in extremely realistic cow costumes /very/ seriously.

- meanwhile kenji: “the situation was too surreal. how a cow runs... we never learned that in stunt school!”

- 

"please observe this enthusiastic performance of a cow by a team of two stuntmen!"

- director peter chan never really meddled with the action parts of the movie. when asked for his opinion, he'd just say "i don't know anything about that. i'd be satisfied with the first take itself. after that, i'd just look at everything as a whole." so they were kinda given free rein to film whatever they wanted and edit the scenes however they wanted.

- tsui hark once visited the set. tang wei (plays ayu, jinxi’s wife) who already wasn’t familiar with many of the hong kong cast and crew, had asked innocently "who was that old man?" lol

- the arm-cutting scene wasn’t in the original plans, it was more of a final resort. they actually planned to have jinxi be attacked by those goons when he got "revived" and he'd escape into a small cramped space where they'd do a 1 vs 5 fight scene. but it would've taken them another month to shoot that, so they had to scrap it. after some brainstorming they decided to replace it with "jinxi cuts off his arm!" this was decided like the day before they had to start shooting it (ﾟｰﾟ;;

- they had to decide which arm to "cut off" and thought it would be cool to have it be the same as jimmy wang's one-armed swordsman. so they asked jimmy which arm it was and he told them it was the left arm. so they went with that.

...turned out when they checked the original it was actually the right arm.

(※ truth is, in the original one-armed swordsman series, it'd switch between the two arms and wasn't consistent lmfao)

- kenji really liked the final product, but it didn't do so well in china and hong kong. kenji wonders if it's bc of the discrepancy between what people expected from the title "wu xia" and the actual content of the movie. apparently people were also really disappointed by the ending.

- eventually the movie started getting attention at film festivals and stuff in the west. but director peter chan just said pessimistically, "that's precisely why there's no changing the fact that this movie is a failure, entertainment-wise."

- kenji kinda wishes people would give this movie a second chance.

[chxnchy-blog]

The bee movie but every time they say bee it's replaced with lovfe

Chapter 1.AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXHi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!“What’s up Draco?” I asked.“Nothing.” he said shyly.But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXAN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!Chapter 2.AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXThe next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)“OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!” she said excitedly.“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.“Do you like Draco?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.“Hi.” he said.“Hi.” I replied flirtily.“Guess what.” he said.“What?” I asked.“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.I gasped.Chapter 3.AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOn the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).“Hi Draco!” I said in a depressed voice.“Hi Ebony.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.“You come in cold, you're covered in bloodThey're all so happy you've arrivedThe doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your momShe sets you free into this life.” sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.Suddenly Draco looked sad.“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into……………………… the Forbidden Forest!Chapter 4.AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX“DRACO!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”Draco didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.“Ebony?” he asked.“What?” I snapped.Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!Chapter 5.AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor McGonagall.“How dare you?” demanded Professor Snape.And then Draco shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.“Are you okay, Ebony?” Draco asked me gently.“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.Chapter 6.AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXThe next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.“Why?” I exclaimed.“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.“Really?” he whimpered.“Yeah.” I roared.We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.Chapter 7. Bring me 2 lifeAN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXZXXXXXXXXXXXXXDraco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)“Oh Draco, Draco!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!I was so angry.“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.“VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.Chapter 8.AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXEveryone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.“Ebony, it’s not what you think!” Draco screamed sadly.My friend B’loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.“Vampire, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Draco!” I shouted at him.Everyone gasped.I don’t know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)“But I’m not going out with Draco anymore!” said Vampire.“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.Chapter 9.AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXI was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Voldemort!“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.“Crookshanks!” I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.“Ebony.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire Potter!”I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?“No, Voldemort!” I shouted back.Voldemort gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!”“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.“Draco!” I said. “Hi!”“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.“Are you okay?” I asked.“No.” he answered.“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.Chapter 10.AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b’loody mary isn’t a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B’loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.“Ebony! Are you OK?” B’loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don’t kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!” I burst into tears.Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”Chapter 11.AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. “Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.“What do you know, Hargrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”“This cannot be.” Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore’s wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.“Why are you doing this?” Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.“Because you’re goffic?” Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.“Because I LOVE HER!”Chapter 12.AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn’t really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.I stopped. “How did u know?”“I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!”“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.“Enoby I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.“No Enoby.” Hargrid says. “Those are not roses.”“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! .“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!”And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.“OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?”Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.“U c, Enobby,” Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back.Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!”Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.“You look kawai, girl.” B’loody Mary said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.“Vampire you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.“NO!” I ran up closer.“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXSPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER IChapter 13.AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.“Dumbledore Dumblydore!” we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.“Volsemort has Draco!” we shouted at the same time.He laughed in an evil voice.“No! Don’t! We need to save Draco!” we begged.“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then he walked away. Vampire started crying. “My Draco!” he moaned. (AN: don’t u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.“What?” I asked him.“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in Voldemprt’s lair!We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!”It was……………………………….. Voldemort!Chapter 14.AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXWARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn’t there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)“Huh?” I asked.”Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.“Snaketail what art thou doing?” called Voldemort. Then…… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.“What’s wrong honey?” asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B’loody Mary, because she’s not ugly or anything.”“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Draco.“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he’s in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory enoby isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.Chapter 15.AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX“Ebony Ebony!” shouted Draco sadly. “No, please, come back!”But I was too mad.“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!“Enoby I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.Chapter 16.AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXWe ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!“Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.“We won’t do that again.” Draco promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?”“NO.” he muttered loudly.“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.“Enoby! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.B’loody Mary was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Willow will die too.” I said.“Kawai.” B’loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”B’Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.“No.” My head snaped up.‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody Mary are u a PREP?”“NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that’s all.”“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.“Dumblydore.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.”“OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?” I asked quietly.“Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.”“Da real goffs?” Me and B’Loody Mary asked.“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody Mary.“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s ebondy dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?”“Tom Rid.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!”Chapter 17.AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn’t rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXTom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual). Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. “WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Willow’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.“So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?” she asked.“Yah.” I said happily.“I’m gong with Diabolo.” she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B’loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was…….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Draco!”“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…………………………………DUMBLYDORE!Chapter 18.AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!XXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to B’loody Mary and Willow. B’loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.“……………….DUMBLEDORE?1!” we all gasped.“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!”“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.“BTW you can call me Albert.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.“What a fucking poser!” Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything. “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Willow shouted.I was so fucking angry.Chapter 19. im nut ok i promiseAN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXAll day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!). I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da gurl’s room?”Only it wasn’t just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Draco has a surprise for u.”Chapter 20.AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXAll day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! “R u gonna cum rape me or what.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.“Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.“Fuker.” He said, gong away.Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Lumpkin shouted angrily.“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.“You dimwit!.” Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!” I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.“WTF where’d Draco?” I asked him.“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Vampire said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said ‘ENOBY’ on it.……….I gasped.We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Helena’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner.Chapter 21.AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXLater we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. “Draco are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.“No I’m not u fuking bitch!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.“Its ok Enoby.” said Vampire comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.“Draco please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Mr. Norris.“No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!” Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. “Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!” he asked. Filth nodded. And then……………………….Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1“WHAT DA-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.“Draco!” I cried. “R u okay?”“I guess though.” Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1Chapter 22.AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven’s folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXAll day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B’loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle’s dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”“Enoby something is really fucked up.” Draco said.“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Draco said in a sexy voice.“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”“I will I will.” he said.So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.“THIS CANNOT BE!” she shouted angrily. “THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!”“THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!” yelled Cornelia Fudge.“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Rumbridge. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”“Very well.” Dumbledore said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…………………………………………………………………..Enony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.”Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B’loody Mary looked at each other………I gasped.

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Chapter 23.AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXThe door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.“MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.“Oops she made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “She means hi everybody cum in!”Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B’loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.“Vampire, Draco WTF?” I asked.“You fucking bustard!” yelled Draco at Vampire. “I want to shit next to her!1”“No I do!” shouted.“No she doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Draco.“No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!” shouted Vampire. And then……………… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden…… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….Volzemort!“Eboby…..Ebony…….” Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!”“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.“No!” he laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he flew away cackling.I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.“Ebony Ebony aure you alright?” asked Draco in a worried voice.“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.“Everyfing’s all right Enoby.” said Vampire all sensetive.“No its not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”“Its ok gurl.” said B’loody Mary. “Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though.”“Ok bich.” I said sadly and den we went.Chapter 24.AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXWell we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She’s da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She’s also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b’loody mry get along grate) She’s really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.“What is it Ebony?” she asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”“Ho about now?” she asked.“OK.” I said.“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. “Except for you Britney.” she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3.”“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Draco gong 2 die.Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.“What do you c?” she asked.“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Sinister.“Bye bitch.” I said waving.I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.Chapter 25.AN: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1XXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco’s black car.“Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say.” whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.“She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.“And all the things that you never ever told meAnd all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.” sang Gerard’s sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.“OMFG Draco Draco!” I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.“Ebony what’s wrong?” Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Lucian and Serious!111Chapter 26.AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXA few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.“Hi Vampire.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.“Oh fuck it!” Vampire shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor.”We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.“Sire are dads have been shot!” Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Enoby had a vision in a dreem.”Dubleodre started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony’s not divisional?”I glared at Dumbledore.“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter). “U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!”“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Longdon.” I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other’s gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers……………………….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt uAN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111 fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111XXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXEvery1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly. She peered into da balls. “You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had. “When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.“What fucking happened?” asked Draco and Vampire.“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.Chapter 28.AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXWe went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Vampire.“Are you okay?” Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.“Yah I guess.” I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. “The problem is……………………….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time”Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.“Itz okay Eboby.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”“Of coarse not!” I gasped.“Really?” he asked.“Sure.” I said.We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.Then………… I took off Draco’s MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.“I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly………………………….“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”It was………………………….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111Chapter 29.AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111XXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX“Oh my satan!1” we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.“CUM NOW!1!” Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.“Hey what the fuck!111” Vampire shooted angrily.“Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. “Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango’s. So give back da camera!1111”Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly.“Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!” yelled Proffesor McGoggle. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1). Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.And then……………….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.“Crosio!” I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said “OK Serverus I’m going 2 go now.” She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.“It’s ok Enoby.” said Draco. “Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake.”Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111Chapter 30.AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX“No!11” we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then…………………… he came tords Darko!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle.“What the fuck r u doing!” I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.“U must stab Vrompire.” he said to me. “If u don’t then I’ll rap Draco!1”“No you fucking bastrad!1” I yielded.But den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive.Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.“Dumbeldork will get u!” Draco shooted.“Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11” Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.“You ridiculus dondderhed!111” Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico’s clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…………………….“Crosio!” I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio.“You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-” shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.Snake put the whip behind his bak. “Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing.” he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said ‘Come on Ebony let’s go.”Chapter 31.AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111 stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111 fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX“I always knew u were on Voldemort’s side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111).” Serious said 2 Snape.“No I’m not I was teaching them somefing!1” Snap clamed.“Oh fucking yeah?” I took some blak Volremortserum out of my poket and gave it to Serverus. He made Snap dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap. Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes. Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too. B’loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid’s store.“Whatz in da bag?” I asked Profesor Trevolry.“U will c.” she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.“You look fucking kawaii, bitch.” B’loody Mary said.“Fangs.” I said.“Ok now you’re going to go back in tim.” said Proffesor Sinister. “U will have to do it in a few sessionz.” She gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. Then she gave me a black time-tuner. “After an hour use da time torner to go back here.” Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B’loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.“Good luk!1” Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth’s touch sin. Then……….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was…………………….Tom Bombodil!1111Chapter 32.AN: I sed stup fflaming I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111 if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!11111 U SUK!111111XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX“Hi.” I said flirtily. “Im Enoby Way da new student.” I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.“Da name’s Tom.” he said. “But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam”We shok hands. “Well come on we have 2 go upstairs.” Satan said. I followed him. “Hey Satan……..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?” (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.“Oh my fuking god, how did u know?” Satan gasped. “actually I like gc a lot too.”(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that’s ounded really 80s)“omg me too!” I replied happily.“guess what they have a concert in hogsment.” satan whispered.“hogsment?” I asked.“yeah that’s what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000.” he told me all sekrtivly. “and theres a really cool shop called Hot-“‘topic!” I finshed, happy again.He froned confusedly. “noo its called Hot Ishoo.” He smiled skrtvli again. “then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic.” he moaned.“ohh.” now everything was making sense for me. “so is dumblydor your princepill?” I shouted.“uh-huh.” he looked at his black nails. “im in slitherin’”“OMfG SHME TOO!” I SHRIEDKED.“u go to this skull?”(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.“yah that’s why im here im NEW.” I SMELLED HAPPili.Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!” he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. “STUPID GOFFS!”satan rolled his eyes. “his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we’re in slytherine and we’re not preps.”I turned around angrily. “actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord.”“wtf?” he asked angrily.“oh nuffin.” I said sweetly.then suddenlyn………………. the floor opened. “OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly.”“hey where r u goin?” satan asked as I fell.I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry’s classroom. dumblydum wuz dere. “dumblydore I think I just met u.” I said.“oh yeah I rememba that.” dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik.sinister came in. “hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?”:”um.” I looked at her.“oh yeaH I forgot bout that.”“wth how?” I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second. but shes a goff so its ok.professor sinster looked sad. “um I was drinking voldemortserum.” she started to cry black tears of depression. dumblydum didn’t know about them.“hey r u crying tears of blood?” he asked curiously, tuching a tear.“fuck off!” we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. “omfg enoby…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum.”AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112Chapter 33.AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don’t lik da story den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111 U SUK!1111 fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX“Oh my fuking god!1” I shooted sadly. “Shud we get u 2 St Manga’s, bitch?”“Hel no!” she said. “Lizzen Egogy, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?”“Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.“Hey Sexxy.” I said.“How’d it go Enoby?” he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.“Fine.” I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.“How far did u go wif Satan?” Drako asked jealously.“Not 2 far, lol.” I borked.“Will you hav to do it with him?” Draco asked angstily.“I hop not 2 far!111” I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.“What happened 2 Snipe?” I growled.“U will see.” Draco giggled mistressly. He opened a door……………Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11 Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.“NOOOO PLZ!1111” Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Snap bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). We took sum of Snipe’s blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven’t herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Darko put on ‘desolition liverz’ by MCR. Den………………………………………….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.“Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111” I screemed passively as he got an eructation.“I luv u TaEbory.” he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.Chapter 34.AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXI wook up in da coffin de next day. Draco waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees. There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly…………………. Sorious cocked on da door. I hopened it.“Hi Ibony.” he said. “Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor’s office.”“Ok.” I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Draco or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.“So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?” I asked Sorious flirtily.“I fucking tortured them.” he answered in a statistic way. “They r in Abkhazian now, lol.”I laughed evilly.“Where r Draco and Vampira?” I muttered.“Dey are xcused form skool 2day.” Sodomize moaned sexily. “Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas.”We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic( http/ She wuz drinking some Volximortserum.She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.“Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited.” she said sadly. “Good luck. Fangz!”And then……….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around……………I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. I noticed……he was drinking a portent.“Whose he!11” I asked.“Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn.” Satan said. “He’s da Portents teacher…………..Ebony?”“Yah?” I asked.“Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat.”“Yah?”“Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?”Chapter 35. gost of uAN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1 u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111 oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped………………..Draco wuz there!111I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.“Draco what da fuk r u dong!111111” I gosped.“Huh?” he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn’t Draco. It was Lucan!1 He stil had two arms.“Oh hi Lucian!1” I sed. “Im Ebony the new student lol we shook handz.”“Yah Satan told me abot you.” Lusian said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting. It wuz Serious, Vampire’s dad and………………Snap! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. “Lizzen I’m in a goth band wif those guys.” he said. “Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.“ORLY.” I ESKED.“Yeah.” he said. “Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums” he said ponting to him. “Snap plays the boss. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring.”“Hey bastards.” I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. “But don’t u have a lead singer!” I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.“We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists.”“Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1” I gasped.“Its okay but we need a new led snigger.” Samaro said.“Wel………..I said Im in a bnad myself.”“Rilly?” asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111“Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?”Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11) Gurn Day.“I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz.” I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.“Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz!1” begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.“Um…….ok.” I shrugged. “Are we gong to play tonight?”“Yah.” they said.“Ok.” I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.“What da hell r u dong here!11” I asked.“I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby.” he said siriusly Den……….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and……………………..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111Chapter 36.AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111 I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111 ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister. B’lody Mary, Socrates and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.“OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111”“Yah I no.” Serious said sadly.“Oh hey there bitch.” Profesor Trevolry said in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom.Hi fuker.” I said. “Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I’m playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too.”“Oh my satan!1” (geddit lolz koz shes gofik) gasped B’lody Mary. “Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?”“OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11” said Profesor Trevolry.“I can’t fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first.” said Willow.“Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also………….sum luv potion 4 Enoby.” Darko said resultantly.“Well we have potions klass now.” Willow said so let’s go.We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn’t there. Instead there was…………………………………………Cornelio Fuck!11111“Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111” Draco shouted angrily.“STFU!1” shooted Cornelia Fuck. “He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer. “Now do ur work!111”My friendz and I talked arngrily.“Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik!1” Vampire asked surprisedly.“DATZ IT!11” CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. “IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111”He stomped out angrily.Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer. Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard.“WTF is he doing?” I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly……………“HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11” he shooted.I looked around…………….Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.“God u r such a posr!1” I shooted at Hairgrid. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was………………Amnesia Portion!111Chapter 37.AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDARKO’S PONT OF VIEW LOLVampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.“Oh mi fucking satan!11” Enoby said. She wuz so hot. “Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1”“But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata,” said Vampire. “Why would u need it?”“To make everyfing go faster lol.” said Enoby.“But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?” I asked jelosly.“OMFG u guyz r so scary!11” said Britney, a fucking prep.“Shut the fuk up!1” said Willow.“Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry’s room.”Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater’s room. But Profesor Sinister wasn’t there. Instead Tom Rid was.Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said ‘666’ on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.“OMG fangz!” I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.“OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?” asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.“Oh my fuking satan!1” I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now. Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.“OMFG!111” I shoted arngrily. “How could they do that!11”Suddenly Dumblydore came.“WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1” he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly’s blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was……………Profesor Slutborn’s efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz……..Profesor Slutgorn!11OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don’t kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.“Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class.” you said finally hoping he couldn’t c da potion in ur pocket.“Oh ok u can go now.” said Profesor Slutborn.You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.“Oh hi you guys.” I said seductively. “Wheres Satan?”“Oh he’s cumming.” said Serious. “BTW u can kall me Hades now.” Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.“Ok I will see you guyz at da concert.” I said and then I went with Satan.Chapter 38.AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX6666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXSatan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 666 just lik Draco’s car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), kuttting, musik and being goffik.“Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11” Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)“Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena.” I said in a flirty voice. “……….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?”“Well………………” he thought. “I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod.”Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we’re sadists.While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan’s gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.“OMG!111” Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. “Enoby gess what?”I new that the amnesia had worked.“Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work.” He said. “2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u.”“Kul.” I raised my eye suggestingly. And den………. he tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.“Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111” shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.“Fuk u!11” I said. Suddenly…………………. I attaked her suking all her blood.“Noooooo!11” she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside.“Zomg how did u do that?” Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice.“I’m a vampire.” I said as we went into the car.“Siriusly?” he gasped.“Yah siriusly.” I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.“Itz too bad we didn’t get 2 c da rest of the movie, don’t u fink?”“Yah.” I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.“Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111” screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.“I wood like to peasant……………..XBlakXTearX!11” he said. I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.“Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111” I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation. “I’M NUT OKAY!1” I sang finaly. Suddenly Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak.“OMFG!1” yielded James. “Wut the fuck?”“Woops im sory!” said Lucian.“You fuking ashhole!1” James shouted angrily.“U guys are such prepz!11” Snap said. “Cum on it wuz a mistake!1”“Yah itz not his fault!11” said Serious.“No he ruined the fucking song!1” yelled Samaro.“U guys stop!11” I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.“OMFG no!11” shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm.And den……………………………I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11“No!111” yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolzDisclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.AN// I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."I, the American retail wearing british vampire Sue, coughed up blood.Satan kneeled down beside me."Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony.""I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of.Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN//I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.--------Meanwhile...Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.And then it occured to her...For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.Ebony supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it."THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."/End Crap Fic.AN// Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXI woke up in da Norse’s offace on a special gothik coffin. Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room.“Oh mi satan wut happened!” I screamed. Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual.“Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11” I yielded.“Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11” he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.“Volxemort? OMFG what’s wrong!111” I asked.Sudenly………. Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B’lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.“OMFG Enoby ur alive!111” Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B’lody Mary.“What the fuk happened?” I asked dem. “Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?” I gosped.“Enoby u were almost shot!11” said Serious. “But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time.”“But fangz anyway!1” said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!“OMG I cant beleve Vampirz’ dad shot u!1” I gasped.“Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den.” said James.“Yah he wuz a spy.” Serious said sadly. “He wuz really a Death Dealer.”“And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11” said Lucian. “He didn’t even realy no hu GC were until I told him.” Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.“Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?” I asked gothikally.“No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax.” said Profesor Trevolry. “He duzzn’t know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1”I got up suicidally. Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don’t get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital’s wings wif B’lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.“OMFG letz celebrate!11” gasped Willow.“We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1” giggled Vampire.“Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11” said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den………..I gasped……………………………………… Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.“U fucking prep!11” we all yielded angrily.“Yah u betrayed us!111” shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.“No u don’t understand!1” screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake’s.“No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111” said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.“Enoby no!11111” screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.--------Sincerely,An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :PA.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains.Chapter 40. LOL! Someone has taken my account over!THE IDIOT'S NOTE: Well... this was in the doc area... might as well let the whole world see what the real Tara wanted to show us... Have a nice day!AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXI woke up in da Norse’s offace on a special gothik coffin. Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room.“Oh mi satan wut happened!” I screamed. Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual.“Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11” I yielded.“Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11” he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.“Volxemort? OMFG what’s wrong!111” I asked.Sudenly………. Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B’lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.“OMFG Enoby ur alive!111” Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B’lody Mary.“What the fuk happened?” I asked dem. “Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?” I gosped.“Enoby u were almost shot!11” said Serious. “But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time.”“But fangz anyway!1” said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!“OMG I cant beleve Vampirz’ dad shot u!1” I gasped.“Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den.” said James.“Yah he wuz a spy.” Serious said sadly. “He wuz really a Death Dealer.”“And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11” said Lucian. “He didn’t even realy no hu GC were until I told him.” Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.“Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?” I asked gothikally.“No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax.” said Profesor Trevolry. “He duzzn’t know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1”I got up suicidally. Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don’t get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital’s wings wif B’lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.“OMFG letz celebrate!11” gasped Willow.“We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1” giggled Vampire.“Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11” said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den………..I gasped……………………………………… Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.“U fucking prep!11” we all yielded angrily.“Yah u betrayed us!111” shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.“No u don’t understand!1” screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake’s.“No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111” said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.“Enoby no!11111” screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.Idiot's Note: Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus...Chapter 41.AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!!!!!!!!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!!!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!!!!!!!!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXWhen I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!!!!!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse’s office but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said ‘1980.’“OMFG!!! Im back in Tim again!!!!111” I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!11“OMFG Enoby r u ok.” He asked gothikally.“Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation.” I snapped sexily. “OMG am I dedd???” koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame’s gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!!!!111I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.“No ur not dead.” Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. “Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy’s dad is doing.”I noo dat da real reason I didn’t die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. “WTF!!!! James almust shot Luciious!!!” I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn’t want him2 know I knew.“Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress.” Satan reasoned evilly.“I guess that’s ok.” I said because James hadn’t really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!!!!!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don’t 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. “Hey.” He sed all qwietly and goffically.“Who da fuck is that?” I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.“Dis is…Hedwig!!!!!!!!!11” Sed Volximort. “He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.“Hey Hedwig.” I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.“Lol hi Enoby.” He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!)“Bye.” I sed all sexily.“Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up.” Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.“OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!” I said fingering something I didn’t know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!).“Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1” I led them to da Great Hall. “Cum on u guys.”Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him.“Go fuk urself you fukking douche!” he shouted at him. “Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!!1”“Yah go fuck urself Samaro!” Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.“B quiet u guys.” I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire’s dad wood never die and “OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out.” I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.“Kool.” said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.“Oh my fukking god!!!! Voldimort! Voldimort!” screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort’s.But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame………………Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!!!!111111111111Chapter 42. da blak paradeAN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!!!1111. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore and he hated hairy!!!!!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it?? If dey don’t den JKR is hamophobic!!!!!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!!!111XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI sat depressedly in Dumbledork’s office wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.“What da hell is this anyway??” he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn’t find out dat I was frum another time.“Whatever u do don’t blame Ibony, u jerk.” Satan said.“Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together.” Serious said deviantly.“Be quiet you Satanists.” Dumbledore cockled. “If ur lucky I’ll probably send u all to Akazaban!!! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall.” He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n’Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn’t notece.“You fucking poser.” I muttoned.“I bet you’ve never herd of GC.” James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly’s tim machine!!!!!11“Shut up Jomes!!!” Drako’s dad shouted.“Yeah shut up!!!!” Snake said preppily.“No u shut up Dumblydore!!!!!!!!1111” said Tom.“I’ve had enough of u Satanists in my school!!!!” shouted Dumbledore spuriously.Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. “Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was……..Satan.“You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111” screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black.“Hey kool where iz dis?” he asked in an emo voice.“Dis is da future. Dumbeldore’s iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine.” I told him.“Kool what’s an ipatch?” he whimpered.“It’s somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music.” I yakked.“OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?” he esked in his sexah voice.“Um I guezz sand????” I laid confuesdly.“Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon.” He triumphently giggled.Suddenly some of my friends walked in.“OMG you’re fucking alive!” said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.“Konichiwa, bitch.” said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.“Hey, motherfucker.” Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.“Hey whose that, Ibony?” B’loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.“Oh its Satan.” I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.Suddenly Satan started to cry.“Are you okay Satan?” we asked concernedly.“OMFG ur from da future!!1! What if u don’t like m anymore koz were from difrent times?????” he asked.“No I still like you.” I said sexily to him.“Ok.” He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!!!!!!!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.“Oh my fucking god, where’s Draco!!!!111 How did Snap get back here!!! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan.” I asked sadly.“Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can’t fucking die because you’re a vrompire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student.” Trevolry said reassuredly.“That bitch!!!!!!!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?” I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep.“Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!!!!!!” Trevolry said worriedly.“OK. But where’s Dracko???? How cum he was doing it with Snap?????”“I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself.” she said.“OMG dat’s terrible!!!!!!!!” I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn’t tell what was going on. Then I said “Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!” wiv dat I ran out.“Good luck Tara!!!!!!!11” everyone cried.I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.“You fucking bitch!!!!!111” I shouted angrily.“No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!” she laughed.“Crucious!!!!!!!!!1” I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.“No!!!!!!1 Help me!!!!!!1 Please!!!!!!!!1” Britney screamed terrifiedly.I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. “OMG Vampira!!!!111” I yielded.We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!!!1)“I wus so worried you died!” moaned Vampire.“I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me.”“Where’s Draco?” I asked spuriously.“Draco? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?” Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.“I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM.” I SED SMARTY.“I’ll do it den.” Harry said angstily.“OK.” I argreed. Suddenly……….all da lights in da room went out. And den…….da Dork Mark appeared.“Oh my fucking satan!!!!!” Harry shouted.“I fink Voldimort has arrivd.” I sed anxiously. “Fuck, I have to find Draco!!1 I guess we shood separate.”“Ok.” Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.Chapter 43.AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!!!!!!!!!111111 if u flam den fukk u!!!111XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXI walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Draco was there!! He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!!!!!111 I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.“Draco are you okay????” I asked.“I’m not okay.” he screamed depressedly. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.“Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?” I asked teardully.“I-” Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris appearated in2 da room!! They didn’t see us.“Im so glad we me and Snape were freed.” said Loopin.“Dam, this job would be great if it wasn’t 4 da fukking students!” Mr. Norris argreed.“Pop addelum!!!!!111” I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.“Noooooooo!!!!1” Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away.“You fukking perv.” I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. “Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I’m gong 2 torture u!!!!”“I don’t now where he is!!!!1111” said Loopin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn’t know who Satan was really.“Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!!1” Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie then.I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Draco sexily. Loopin gasped. Draco began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather bra, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. “Oh mi satan!! Draco!!!!” I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry. I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. “OMS!!!111” cried Vampire. “Oh Vampire! Vampire!!!” I screamed screamed. “Oh Satan!!!!!” yelled Harry in pleasore. Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly……………………………..………….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!!!!!!!11Chapter 44.AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!!!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!!!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!!!!1111 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait!!! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX“Dat’s mi car!!!!” shooted Draco angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz………….Snape!!!!!“I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads.” he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. “Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!!!!”“You fucking prep!!!” yelled Draco. Then he loked at me sadly. “I forgot to tell u, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn’t really have sexx him but he’s a ropeist!!!!”We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!!!!1 But Satan didn’t change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into………… Voldemont!!!!!!!111“I knew who thou were all along.” he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. “Now I shall kill thee all!!!!!!” Thunder came in da room.“No plz don’t kill us!” pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B’loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in.“What is da meaning of dis?” Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.“Oh my goth!” Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)“The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!!!” Snape ejaculated menacingly.“You fucking preppy fags!” Serious shouted angrily.“I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!!!” screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco’s car. It fell down Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.“Oh my fucking god!!!1” I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Drako and the video of Satan doing it with“If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton.” He laughed meanly.“No!” I scremed. “FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin!!!!11”“Whats she talking abott??????” Lupin slurped as he sat in chains.“I saw 2 she’s gunna show evry1 da picter!!!111” Harry shouted angrily.“Shut up!!!111’” Lumpkin roared.“Foolish ignoramuses!!!!!!” yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. “Thou shall all dye soon.”“Think again you fucking muggle poser!!!!!1” Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel both took out blak guns! But Voldimort took out his own one.“U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!111” I shouted despariedrly.“Acco Nevel’s wand!!!11” cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevil’s wind was in his hands. “Now I shall kill thee all and Evony u will die!!!!!!!!11111”He maid lighting come all over da place.“Save us Ebony!” Dumbledark cried.I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.“ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!!!!!!!11111” I shooted.

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 7 - “And I have no idea what a Willa is.” -Chips

Bryce

I guess Liana voted me? how odd. Colin voted Nicholas I presume but uh me and Quillynn lived which is all that matters tbh! Im happy that we get to live another round I was scared(pumpkin)

Colin, from the grave

fuck these hoes

QuilLynn

So.. I survived tribal! I'm super happy that we were able to get out Colin, as much as I love him as a person and would have wanted to work with him under different circumstances it was the only thing that made sense. Basically Bryce and I put ourselves in a position where we were the swing votes between Colin leaving and Nicholas leaving. Although there were benefits with both options, we knew that Colin would be harder to convince to also vote out Liana if we lose again, and we feel safer (for now) with Nicholas. At this point I feel great, I don't want to sound cocky, but I now just don't see either Bryce or I leaving before merge! 

Dana

Hello Dads and lovers! I don't have too much to say about the game, except the tea is that i'm ready af to merge. The fastest way to kill me is to make me go to tribal on this tribe. Chips hates me, Jay O knows about my friend group premade, and Kelsey is inact af. Zach and I want to convince Kelsey to vote with us, but umm basically i'm going to pressure him into playing some advantage. I'm going to make him king of paranoia and tbh it won't be hard. Also i'm an actual slut for letter # like i crave it. So thanks hosts!

Trixie

hi my tribe is gonna lose this challenge xx

**Malam loses immunity**

Bryce

We got 2nd in immunity thats iconic. but im afraid ppl will see me as a threat but like.... I had to score since quillynn and liana did nothing and nicholas wasnt on much.Im just happy we won and are one step closer to merging where i can try to meet back up with bryan!

Bryan

So me and trixie fought our hardest but we still weren’t able to win. EMPHASIS ON ME AND TRIXIE AND NOT OUR ACTUAL FUCKING TRIBE! THESE BITCHES DIDNT DO JACK SHIT! I was talking to trixie about it, how we are fighting the hardest when we aren’t even the ones at risk and they don’t even care. But the votes are probably going to be heading towards Willa.

Zach

WE WON IMMUNITY! WIG! I expect Trixie to use her idol that I provided her... my impact. I shouldn;t have, and I kind of regret it but I don't. It's weird. I want merge to come pleASEeee

QuilLynn

One step closer to merge! My team of icons won immunity again! Although, to be honest I didn't really try or participate, because I would rather us go to tribal again. We have the numbers on our tribe to vote out Liana and I want to do that before we get to merge and she just acts as Chips' double vote advantage. 

Trixie

My tribe loves going to tribal apparently! We’ve lost/come close to losing every single challenge that I’m praying to the furby gods for a mercy merge. 

Being a villain, naturally I have satan on my side. Although I had described zachary rae as being an angel, he’s more akin to a devil because he’s left me a gift that I don’t know what to do with yet. I feel like I have Bryan and Christian down to vote Willa. Willa, on the other hand, thinks we’re going to vote Christian and is “willing” to go to rocks, which is a big fat lie imo. I feel like he’s going to try and flip the heroes on me, and I’m hoping they won’t listen. After all, I do a lot more for my tribe than he does. 

I’m always worried something will happen, and I don’t wanna be that fool who plays the idol when unneeded, but I also don’t wanna be the bigger fool who goes out while holding one. help

Willa

I'm being voted off is this necessary 

Chips

Alright, so the challenge was the one where you get letters and then you make words from them. In general, I'm pretty decent at it... but also I never have any time online for that sort of challenge so I saw if I could sit out... and I did. http://imgur.com/dYxDGuG.gif And then I wasn't added to the chat or whatever so I was kinda in the dark about our team's score (which is odd, because I believe that in the show when they sit out they are still at the challenge) but I was hoping that we could be successful and not have tribal. Then the results were posted and our team was number one! So no tribal! And the marshmallow tribe is going to tribal... https://68.media.tumblr.com/744c19eadd3d19f73b4dfece4e0ae798/tumblr_olvj861Lu01u2ragso1_500.gif On that tribe are Bryan, Christian, Trixie, and Willa! Bryan I'd like to stay because I think he's most likely to work with me in a situation where we are reunited. Christian is here and there, but would likely stick with me as well. Trixie is basically QuilLynn so if she were to go it wouldn't be bad for me. And I have no idea what a Willa is.

Bryce

I hope Bryan plays his idol

Christian

I don't know why Willa doesn't like me, when I've never spoken to him or even played a game with him. Unless he friends with someone in the community that hates me lolol. I lowkey feel like he has an idol, and I'm gonna get idoled out. But I guess we will see. If I do go tonight, I'm not mad about it. It is what it is. But once confessionals are released, Willa feel free to tell me why you have it out for me. Ctfu 

Liana

I'm so glad we won because if we proved anything the last tribal, it's that this tribe is a mess.

Jay

I just got out of work ahhhhhhh!!!! Anyways im super happy my tribe pulled out a win because i did NOTHING in the last challenge. I've worked for the last 4 days so i was either at work or tired af during the challenge. Hopefully (!!!!) That changes and i can start pulling my weight.

**Willa is voted out, round 8 begins**

Bryan

Lol at Willa thinking we were going to rocks when in actuality he was going

Kelsey

The sitch is that once again; the foxy lady gets to stay~! I feel very grateful that I was able to stay out of tribal the last week. This streak of safety is sooooooo nice to rely on and now...we're heading into the top TWELVE of the competition! I can't say I ever saw myself making it to this stage of the game and gosh...merge can't be far away! At this point, I just want to break away from this sort of "tribe" game and I just want to get started on playing in the final traction of the competition! You know what? I DESERVE to make it to the end and, at the very least, I deserve to FIGHT for it. On this tribe, I do believe I've tightened my relationship with Dana as well as with Chips. And if I do have to vote someone off, I'm quite comfortable switching over with the villains to eliminate Jay as I trust him less than Zach. I just...I feel CONFIDENT! I feel so ready to keep going! I'm filled with excitement and I just wanna- I want to be in the heat of it again soon enough! I said this earlier, but they're going to have to rip and TEAR me away from the crown and I'm pumped to fight for it! Send home the next hooker already, I'm raring to go! And THAT'S all there is to it~! But who are you pointing at? -Kelsey V Mikaelson #TeamIBelieveInYall #TeamBEES #RIPColin #RIPWilla

Bryan

VL DR: YA BOY SLAYED THIS DAMN MAZE! "Hard AF maze" YEA RIGHT

**Malam loses immunity again**

Bryan

JKNFCDBEJLWBFCHJLBWEHJCLBHWJBC I GOT FIRST PLACE AND THEY BOTH GOT LAST!! THIS IS SOO DAMN FRUSTRATING!!! but i dont want to vote out Christian or trixie. Christian has been loyal to me. and trixie is so nice. i have my idol and i want to use it but i also dont. im afraid trixie might flip christian on me. and thats scary. 

Zach

kisses we safe xx kay now i'm expecting trixie to idol, considering i think bryan/christian are friends. whom will she vote? idk?

later...

I kind of feel really good on my tribe. I do want merge though cause I think it may get more interesting. It's kind of bitter sweet because A) It's SUPER boring tribal wise rn, but that's because of B) my ass ain't going to tribal - and i wanna keep it like that!

QuilLynn

We won immunity (well second place but w/e we’re safe!) that means we’ve probably made it to merge which I’m super excited about! We still have Liana, but her joining up with chips might make her and more importantly chips easy targets. I like them both but see 0% chance of us working together in this game at this point so they’ll definetly be the first people that i’ll be wanting to take a shot at. 

Bryan

Ok so. Christian thinks I’m voting trixie. And trixie thinks I’m voting Christian. Or there is this epic blindside coming. But I’m leaning more towards keeping trixie. I can def count on Christian to be a loyal goat but I know trixie has the skill to be able to make big moves with me.

Bryce

Um liana ditching last second was scary but we won so im happy. Malam keeps losing so its awk LOL. But im happy me and quil are safe with nicholas

Liana

Haha, Malam sucks. Enjoy tribal!

Christian

I'm pretty sure I'm gone tonight lol. There's not much to say, considering there's only three of us left on our tribe. Everything is just open I guess. 

Bryan

VL DR: Trixie is such a troll. I was wondering why she never goes on video chat. But i know now. She is one of the trolls from that shitty animated movie so called trolls. 

**Christian is voted out and round 9 begins!**