#it’s so completely unnecessary but I am simply plagued with blorbo thoughts in every situation

[sunnibits]

Another thing I was vaguely thinking about today (as in, considering extensively) was what cars I think modern AU ofmd characters would drive. Just. Randomly idk. I also know absolutely nothing about cars so I apologize in advance if I offend the people who actually know the breeds of car. (I may have had to use Google at some points and I’m probably still fucking shit up.)

Stede definitely drives the family man minivan or SUV yknow, for his kids. It’s absolutely covered with cheesy bumper stickers and it’s probably like. Idk beige or something. But it’s very much The Family Car. Also Stede is a super careful driver to the point of being agonizingly lame. Oluwande and Jim make the mistake of going on a trip with him ONCE and they’re like begging him the whole time to just go a LITTLE over the speed limit, at least MEET the speed limit please god Stede. He finally goes like 5 over with Ed’s encouragement and he feels so incredibly rebellious and wild he gets all giggly about it. But he does slow down again after like 3 minutes because he’s terrified of getting pulled over.

Ed drives THEE most intimidating, coolass pickup truck in either black or like, deep shiny purple. (Although, my friend also said he would drive a Jeep, and I can definitely that. Like one of those??? Square bitches??? Bonus points of it’s one of the bad boys with no doors, just no doors no roof baby. Feel that BREEZE.) He likes to BLAST his music too, heavy base, driving with the window down with one hand on the wheel, tapping his hand to the beat on the side of the car. Ed’s driving is…. questionable. Like, it’s not bad per se, but it’s a little crazy. It’s good for an action movie chase scene, bad for actual public driving. He would definitely race people. He absolutely speeds as he pleases, and sees turn signals as more of a suggestion than a necessary rule to follow.

I can’t decide if I want Izzy to have a nice sleek sedan/coupe/whatever or like, one of those little bitches. *checks smudged notes on hand* subcompact?? Idk but I am absolutely cracking up at the image in my head of Izzy in his super tiny car. Alternatively though I think he might drive like a nice coupe that he thinks is Hot Shit, like super cool (it’s not that cool). At first I couldn’t decide whether he would care about what he drives or not, like maybe he would think fancy cars or pretentious, but after some thought I definitely think he would care about his car way TOO much. He takes a lot of pride in his nice ride (again, not actually that cool) and he’s SUPER meticulous about it, he’s got to wash it every week and make sure it’s perfect. But of course the most important part of this concept is the fact that the other ‘crew members’ like Lucius or Frenchie or Roach or someone would ABSOLUTELY graffiti his car and scratch it up just to see how absolutely fucking livid he would be. He would lose his entire fucking mind while they giggled behind a bush nearby. And of course, this is pretty much a given, but Izzy is a very angry driver. That motherfucker has some intense road rage. He is that obnoxious bitch sticking his middle finger out the window and yelling at someone who cut him off. Oh and his car is either all black or grey/silver, obviously.