#it’s simultaneously adorable and heart wrenching

[ethanmorales]

Misconceptions

All Parts Now Posted - Masterlist

Part 1 - Ablaze

Pairing: Ethan Morales x reader 1.3k words Tags: make out, angst Warning: swearing

My fingers grazed against his chest and as I let my hand wander down his torso, I felt every muscle under twitch in anticipation. I looked up at his face and he was already looking at me with a mixture of lust and longing.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

Oh and I missed him. For what other reason would I have climbed through his window at 2:12 in the morning?

But I didn’t say it back. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. Me caring. Me wanting him so bad it hurt. Me falling while he was always just having a good time.

“Babe?”

I looked up at him, pulled out of my thoughts by his inquiring tone.

“Just kiss me,” I demanded.

He only hesitated for two seconds, just briefly enough for his brown eyes to send a silent question, “everything okay?” But his mouth never asked; it was too busy connecting with mine in a blazing kiss that threatened to consume me, him, both of us together.

Everything was on fire. Everywhere he touched. Everywhere he kissed. My skin burned with his touch and for it. We barely paused for breath as he laid me down on his bed. He unlinked our mouths long enough to grab the hem of my shirt and help me out of it. Then we lit up again.

I glided my fingers in the soft waves of his hair as his mouth found the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. His teeth gently grazed against the skin, just enough for me to feel the pressure but not enough to cause pain and then his tongue followed. He started trailing downward to my chest with that same technique.

"Ethan." It was a half-whispered moan. I say half whispered because it was not as quiet as I intended it to be.

At his name, he looked up at me, smiling that damning adorable smile of his and placed a finger over my lips.

"My parents' sleep next door."

He was better at whispering than I was. Probably had more experience at this kind of clandestine middle of the night type of encounter. Before the bitter thought took full effect in my head, his mouth clashed against mine in another fiery kiss. Almost like he wanted to distract me from my own thoughts.

It was working.

The kiss that started like a flame scorching through us with intensity and desperation, simmered down into a heart wrenching slower tempo. Our mouths molded together, his tongue slow danced with mine in perfect unison... and I was lost.

Lost to the sweet taste of his lips. Lost to the movement of his pelvis against mine and the calculated motions building up the fire that he had awoken in me. Though we still had enough clothing separating us from the fusing of our bodies, it didn't dampen the ever-present ache within me.

With the way he touched me, you would think he felt the same.

So, I was lost. Lost in the depths of longing. Longing for this guy that could never ever reciprocate such feeling in return.

I pushed away from him as abruptly as I had the thought. I was met by a look that someone that didn't know him would think is concern. But I knew better.

"I have to go." My words practically a mumble.

"What?" he seemed disoriented in a way, his eyes searching for something in mine that I didn't want him to find.

"It's late," I said, "If we wake up your parents, they'll disown you for real this time."

Ethan's eyes though still confused, hid partially away by the appearance of his mischievous smile, "So what? They've disowned me like 50 times already. Just this year."

I rolled my eyes.

"You say that with so much pride," I whispered, simultaneously pulling myself out of his grasping hands. I heard him groan in protest behind me as I pulled my shirt over my head.

"Because the shit they say doesn't mean anything. They think that by acting like they're disappointed in me, I'll just magically turn into the son they always wanted. It's bullshit."

I shook my head at this rant and turned to face him. He had gotten up from the bed as well and was less than two feet away from me.

"If you really didn't care, you wouldn't' have shushed me earlier. But God knows you're too cool to admit to caring about anything so I'm not having this argument with you." I sounded defeated. He noticed the change in my tone immediately, his eyes narrowed.

"Why do we have to argue at all? There are way more fun things that we could be doing right now." Even as he said it, I could see that he didn't mean it. Something in his expression closed off at my previous comment.

"I have to be up early anyways," I said gently.

"Sure. Whatever." He walked towards his window. I followed behind until we were in front of it.

I looked up at him. He didn't seem to want to look me in the eye as he avoided my gaze. I gave up.

"Okay. I'll see you around then."

My voice was small, and I hated myself for it. This is where we end up every time. I understand that he has never claimed to be anything but who I've always known him to be, but can you blame me for wanting more? I'm only human. And I know... that's it's wrong that I want him to change for me. I should be accepting him as he is or staying away from him, but I can't. The harder I try, the easier it is for me to end up here with him. Stuck in this goddamn tragic loop of ours.

I shake my head to myself and throw a leg over the windowsill. As I push myself out and my feet touch the freshly cut grass of his backyard, I thank God he lives in a one-story home.

When I turn to close his bedroom window, he stops me with a hand over mine. I move mine away and he frowns. He proceeds to climb out of his window.

"What?" I ask, unable to keep the edge out of my voice. I was already too emotionally drained to hide my upset.

He blinks with confusion. "What am I doing wrong?"

I huff but say nothing.

He sighs, "How do I stop upsetting you if you won't tell me what it is that you're upset about?"

I snap. "You. You are the reason I'm upset!"

His eyes widen, "What about me? "

I want to tell him. I want to tell him everything. All the things he makes me feel; good and bad. My fears. My thoughts. But I can't. Because I know what he will say.

"I didn't sign up for this".

"We had a deal."

"Don't start getting clingy."

I've heard it all come out of his mouth before. Not with me. With the many girls I've seen him with. But still. I refuse to make the mistakes the rest of them did. I will never admit that I had fallen for him. Not now. Not ever.

I held his gaze for a second, but his beautiful brown eyes made my poor heart flutter uncomfortably in my chest. I look away.

"Nothing, sorry. I really gotta go. I get cranky when I don't sleep."

I start turning around to leave, but then feel his arm snake around my waist and pull me in against him, leaving no space between us.

I look up at him in a question. His eyes scanned my face for something, though I'm not sure what.

"Liar."

That's all he says before his mouth crashes over mine.

I didn't want it. The rational part of me knew that I should back off and walk away. But as soon as his tongue invades my mouth, the heat of our flame sears through my whole being... and we're back to where we started.

To be continued...

__________________________________

A/N: Haven't written in ages. But after watching season 4 of Never Have I Ever.... I had to. My goodness, Ethan got me feeling all kinds of things lol. Made a new blog just to write this without judgement. Let me know if you want a part 2. I feel like this might deserve another part. Or maybe I can turn it into a series? Let me know if you liked it and I'll write more :)

Update: will be doing a part two! Maybe 3... we shall see :D

[the-writer-is-always-write]

Thoughts on Dune: Part Two

General Impression: I adored this movie from start to finish. Having just rewatched Part One a week ago, it felt like a seamless transition hopping back into the story. The score, the set design, the costumes, all of it was impeccable.

Chani: her character arc was obviously the biggest deviation from the book, and although I felt a lot of surprise watching it unfold, I think some reflection has left me alright with it. I've admittedly only read Dune and Dune: Messiah, but both books are clearly meant to illustrate the dangers of religious fanaticism and the ways that religion and prophecy can be manipulated and utilized as a tool for oppression. While these ideas can (hopefully) be discerned fairly clearly by the reader, I think it makes sense to have an audible voice of dissent in a film adaptation, particularly from someone among the Fremen. The only concern I have is wondering how Denis will handle Dune: Messiah, since the plot sort of hinges on Paul and Chani being together. But I guess that's a worry for later.

MY BOY MUAD'DIB: Timothee is just so utterly perfect for this role, I genuinely could not imagine anyone else doing it with such grace and gravitas. Seeing the gradual spiral of innocent teenager to reluctant leader to religious icon was heart-wrenching. Paul has honestly become one of my favorite fictional characters because his story is so complex and layered with tragedy. He's simultaneously a product of manipulation and coercion, and an angry young man seeking revenge against those who have hurt him. He lacks agency in many ways, yet he still makes decisions that lead to so much destruction. He tries so so hard to avoid the holy war, but it becomes an inevitability he can't escape. Reading Dune: Messiah for the first time a few weeks ago really helped me to understand how the prophecy controlled him as much as he used it to control others. I could literally give a ted talk on this, and how it's such a fascinating take on the messiah figure trope.

Jessica: I saw an article recently where I think Denis called Jessica "the puppetmaster," and I think that's very fitting for her depiction in this movie. I like how it openly shows the manipulation tactics of the Bene Gesserit, particularly how they prey upon the "vulnerable" Fremen first. Rebecca did a fantastic job giving the creep factor.

Feyd-Rautha: I still don't know why Denis had a vendetta against Harkonnen eyebrows, but I guess it was cool? I LOVED the black and white lighting on Giedi Prime, and the arena scene was SO. GOOD. Denis really went for it. Feyd's accent caught me off guard a few times, but overall I think the ruthless and brutal nature of the character really shined through. He's the antithesis to Paul, and I think Denis captured that theme well enough.

I thought all the other characters were well done too. Stilgar was maybe a touch too comic relief-y at times, but nothing catastrophic. Gurney was great, but I would have liked at least one more baliset scene :(

Things we missed: I'm a little bummed we didn't get Harah. I know the movie was already pretty stuffed, but I honestly thought they could have used the actress that played Chani's friend (I can't remember if they ever mention her name). Even if the idea of Paul "acquiring" her was a little icky, they could have done something else with her character at least. I was also sad they didn't do the full funeral scene with Jamis, but oh well. I think the greater omission was Thufir Hawat, but again I can see why they chose to cut him. I just think the dynamic between the Baron and Feyd-Rautha had a lot more friction in the book, mostly because of Thufir conspiring them both against each other.

I'm honestly not upset we didn't get to see freaky-toddler Alia. I was excited for Anya though!

Overall, I really loved this film. No adaptation can get every detail perfect, but I can see the ways that Denis and the actors adored this story and wanted to tell it in a powerful way. I thought the themes stayed true to the book, and I'm really hopeful we get Part Three!

AND THE WORMS. THE WORMS WERE GREAT. LONG LIVE THE WORMS.

[nartothelar]

you should do a submas fic rec post o7

Ooo good idea! Here's a few fics I adore to pieces and have reread more than a few times:

we'll build a bridge (An incomplete collection of unconnected one shots)

Summary: The only constant is this: they find each other. The how might change, but the why doesn’t, and the why is what matters, here. (The why is this: one never stops searching, and one never stops hoping.)

(Made me cry multiple times. Happy endings and heartfelt reunions: it's got everything you need to feel good inside. My favorite chaoters are 3 and 8)

Ounce of Prevention (incomplete)

Summary: If one suspects strangers of causing the apocalypse, one generally should not allow them to continue to roam free. They should ideally be restrained until their innocence (or guilt) can be proven. Even if one of them is a child and openly sobbing at the thought of her only family hating her. Even if the other one's absence is probably going to be noticed by a very large, very dangerous Pokémon.

Elsewhere, the rift spits out a man in white. He's not her Warden, but Sneasler will take all the help she can get in finding him.

(ABSOLUTELY INSANELY GOOD like this is one of my favorite submas fics. Just thrilling and had be binge it in a frenzy. Awesome action scenes, cool plot, and badass Emmet, like seriously Emmet's characterization here is god tier and I think about it constantly. I actually drew a comic based on a scene from this fic here. )

In Tandem (Incomplete)

Summary: Or in which Arceus calls upon two pairs of twins to stop two doomsday plots simultaneously.

Ingo and Emmet are summoned to two different Jubilifes, to two different teenagers to aid them in their seemingly innocent journeys for reasons they do not fully understand. Dark machinations are at work though, and if everyone wants to get home safe at the end of the day it will take every ounce of strength, conviction and courage to brave the trials set before them.

(A verrrry good story: good plot (like you'll get invested), good action, good pacing, and good characterization! I haven't read many fics with Lucas and Dawn and this ones just amazing. I wait patiently for its updates)

The Hand (Complete)

Summary: It was something Ingo always wondered about.

(Unexpected premise but I really like it for some reason and have reread it multiple times)

Give Not Into Sorrow (Complete)

Summary: Something strange is going on in Hisui. There are reports of a man in white roaming the wildlands while leading a pack of Pokemon . Some say they're a mix of Pokemon, some claim they're a pack of zoroarks. Some swear that the man is none other than the amnesiac warden of the Pearl Clan. One thing is certain. Those who meet the man in white all report the same thing: He is looking for his brother. And he will not rest until he finds him.

(Absolutely beautiful and heart wrenching. Deal with grief, with anger and with holding on and letting go. Drew a comic for this just yesterday too)

Conductor of Stone (Completed)

Summary: Ingo was not alone when he woke up in the region of Hisui.

There was a man next to him who shared his face. With a body as cold as ice.

Who are you?

A Land of the Lustrous au! Cool concept and excellent writing that sucks you in. This is actually part of a series which is also very good. The author, PerpetuallySleepy, is a favorite of mine too and they have a bunch of other ones shot fics I recommend checking out!

Intermittent Retention (Complete)

Summary: In theory, the space-time distortions should not overly effect Ingo's daily routine. They certainly wouldn't, if he could remember what happens after he steps inside of them. Even that could be overlooked, reluctantly, if Ingo weren't overwhelmingly drawn to them despite their amnesia-inducing properties. Or if anyone else had this problem. Something happens to Ingo when time and space break down around him, something that leaves him with fierce joy and crippling grief he cannot find a source for, and he's going to figure out what in the world is going on.

(Sweet and sad and beautiful.)

Diamond Crossing (Complete)

Summary: So, here’s the thing. Elesa’s best friend is a little…weird.

She means it in the nicest way possible. But there’s no getting around the fact that Coop is weird.

Their mood swings are all over the place, very serious at one moment and unhinged child at the next. They sprouted train facts at the drop of the hat, insisted on not only being in charge of Gear Station but taking it a step further and turning Gear Station into the Battle Subway. They’re honestly crazy for that alone.

Elesa does her modeling career on top of being a Gym Leader and a lot of people think she’s crazy. She will argue that it’s nothing compared to Coop running the entire transportation system for Nimbasa City on top of being a Battle Facility.

She adores Coop though. She really means it when she says Coop is her best friend. And no matter how crazy Coop comes across as, she knows Coop won't hurt anyone.

("Well, there are exceptions, of course," Coop says, tone serious and expression set to a frown. "We don’t allow unruly passengers for starters." They then smiled, brightening. "And anyone who makes Elesa cry will be tied to the train track and run over." )

(A super interesting concept and I love fusion aus! It's actually part of a series that are loosely connected together. Fun times galore)

Emmet wasn't scared (Complete)

Summary:

Emmet knew his brother will be alright since they were fourteen.

Or: Emmet wasn't scared when his brother went missing. He already knew he would

(Short and haunting)

[alittleloveforme]

He Knows What I'm Like

Inspired by On The Loose (lyric video)

He knows what I'm like, and he likes it. He likes me, so much that he fell for me twice... three times, four...over and over again. I'm out of my mind for him, and he likes that too. Likes how I'll run, drive, fly back to him no matter where we are, just to make him tear up the room the way he did that night we met....

I'd taken a flight and in my exhaustion I ran right into him. Literally. The slightest tickle of his chest hair as I bounced back, too embarrassed to even look at him properly. And he was all Irish charm and kindness, pet names and reassurance. Simultaneously calming and tensing in some inexplicable way.

Weirdly comfortable... enough to look him in the eye, smile and make a little joke about being clumsy.

I've never understood the phrase one thing led to another until that night. He seemed to find my embarrassment, (and my unicorn suitcase he insisted on collecting for me), adorable. Seemed to find my adorableness arousing from the way he looked at me with a mischievous glint in his eye. Asking me to go out for a drink because he just didn't want to say goodbye... and how do you say no to that?

I was out of my mind, he just made me feel that way. Free. No judgment. Dancing through my jetlag. Feeling so many eyes on me as I lost myself to the beat, to the desire, to my need for this stranger who felt more like home than he had any right to. Especially when we were finally alone, and he was ripping at my clothes, my carefully constructed walls, shredding any sense of resistance I might have had with every scratch, every bite, every promise and filthy word fulfilled. Pulling me to pieces and splitting my heart wide open as I wrapped myself around the truth.

Leaving me in my bra and panties, commanding me to dance for him, just him, in the dark, his work of art, promising there there was nothing to lose. His eyes on me, smoldering, making me feel so hot I could burn down the room. Mumbling almost incoherently about how he should get out while he can... before... but he can't.

That moment...just thinking about it sets every part of me on fire again. Knowing how my body moved, and that no matter how much I liked everybody watching, I LOVED him watching me so much more. More than I should. Climbing onto his lap and pulling him in tight, rolling into him, rolling with everything, running with his mind, my mind, this intense need to make all of this...whatever it was, manifest.

He had felt like nothing...noone before. Like his cock was made just for me. Thick and throbbing and moaning as he slipped through my wetness and demanded entrance to the deepest parts of me.

He called me Petal and coaxed me to open up even more, bottoming out and picking up speed, turning my moans to screams to whimpers as he worked me through I don't know how many orgasms.

He was out of his mind too, and I liked it. Fucking me harder and harder, cursing at the feeling of my cunt constricting around his cock, surrendering to how good we felt, promising to never let me loose again, that we'd never know what it felt like to lose as long as I let him stay buried inside of me.

Threatening to warn everyone that looked at me, fuck me in front of them so they knew I belonged to him, staring into my eyes as he gave me one last orgasm and came inside of me, impossibly turned on by our recklessness and risk, our need to be skin on skin, right now, and probably forever.

Now I'm sitting here waiting for my flight back to him, out of my mind just like he liked it, wrenching my hands together to sooth the nerves, rubbing my thighs together to sooth the need, completely soaked at the thought of feeling him inside me again.

He knows what I'm like, on the loose, but tied to him, needy and horny, impatiently dreaming of getting home, seeing his face light up as he tells me he loves me and calls me baby girl, reminding me I'm his as he tears up our room and rips into me all over again and again... and again.

[nomsfaultau]

What would you say is your favorite part/scene of fault, also what do you imagine Red to taste like?

For one, Red’s texture would be kinda awful. Like thick water that prefers to clump to itself in tendrils. I imagine Tommy misses forks a lot. Red tastes slightly salty and a little bit metallic. Since it basically magically floods the amygdala in order to produce a flight or fight response, I functionally compare it to adrenaline, which can result in a metallic taste in one’s mouth. The salt is since Red is also kinda analogous to sweat. Ew. Potential other flavors when he’s super duper stressed include bitter (adrenaline concentrations) and sulfur (fear sweat). Tommy would not be delicious if he was having a panic attack that’s for sure.

And ahhhhhhh favorite scenes! Such a tough one! I’ll break it up by character bc I’m not getting anywhere else wise:

Tommy: Ember. The scene where Tommy fights against his touch starvation in order to finally let go of his toxic relationship with Philza. When Philza’s affectionate touch begins to burn him and Tommy finally recoils. Just…recognizing that his desperation has led him to ignore so much and finally learns how to stop blaming himself for everyone. Even if Tommy was acting on misinformation, getting Philza off a pedestal was still huge. Philza: Malachite. When he returns to his Collected in full dragon mode. Something just hits me about a massive dragon being guided home by tiny bees. The beauty of him but also the sheer destructive force. And the pure uncertainty of it, if Philza even remembers his loved ones at all. The terror of not only the heart break if he doesn’t, but also the possibility that such a powerful destructive creature could slaughter his children and not even notice. Tommy’s swirl of gut wrenching emotions and awful hope as he’s face to face with a massive dragon, only to get licked. One of my favorite cliff hangers tbh. Also the entire amnestic arc is such a fun way to explore different facets of Philza after he haunted the narrative for ages. The Blade: Unfortunately most of his coolest scenes haven’t been posted yet. But I do adore the fight scene in Alabaster where The Blade is having this epic show down with the organ house (creature pulled straight from my nightmares). He caused the problem by trying to take care of his friends, and he’ll solve it using exactly that. Very good indicator of the larger problems he faces. Also the fact he’s doing a Cool Fight Scene…while his mane is in braids, his hooves are covered in nail polish, and ‘Tommy wuz here’ is plastered on a tusk. The Blade can just get silly with it in a way the others can’t sometimes, and it’s refreshing to have the most chill functional guy be the one with bloodthirsty voices. The Blade makes the active choice to be far less edgy than he could be, and I adore him for that.

Wilbur: Midnight. It’s such a small scene, but the moment where Wilbur is out stealing food and he comes across a pet dog. I think it perfectly encapsulates the warring tension inside Wilbur between his pure survivalist mindset and his softer side. I like the way he refuses to let himself admit what he’s doing as Wilbur tries to forget everything that happened in the Foundation, which simultaneously leaves the reader in suspense for what he’s doing as he inches his knife closer to the dog’s throat. And that last line that suddenly says so, so much about the memories Wilbur is repressing: Wilbur really, really did not like shock collars. Perfect amount of building suspense to an answer that only creates far more urgent questions it refuses to address.

Tubbo: Old Gauze. Might be recency bias, but I just love when Tubbo decides to start screaming at Philza in the middle of the woods. It really encapsulates some of Tubbos’ glaring predjudices but also the flaws in Philza’s simplistic morality system (or lack thereof). Tubbo has a lot of unhealthy beliefs about hatred, guilt, and empathy. Plus the utter hypocrisy of saying Philza has no empathy while actively dehumanizing Philza…delicious. I think in stories with a moral of ‘killing people bad :(‘ it becomes really easy to make the pacifist character the unequivocally good guy. And I want Tubbo to be just as messy and flawed as everyone else. (Also really like the tiny scene in Atramentous where Tubbo starts disassociating about proper tree trimming techniques while their house is literally being invaded by Foundation soldiers.)

Though really any scene where I get to mash different character’s moral philosophies against one another like a kid with action figures automatically gets a lot of my love. I imagine readers probably have vastly different favorite scenes than I, given some of them are tiny in the grand scheme of things. Feel free to share parts that made you unhinged.

[losersimonriley]

Major MWIII spoilers below the cut - My thoughts on playing the campaign, mostly through my ghoapper shipping lense bc let’s be real. That’s why I’m here in the first place. (pleasantly surprised babbling ahead)

I will say it’s not Terrible like we were making it out to be after the leaked streams. Imo. Knee jerk reactions and all that. For what it is, I actually really enjoyed it (except the open missions fuck them. Thought I would love em but NOPE.)

Adored Soap’s moments. They really said that man is a feral Scottie dog and should act more like it. He’s such a fuckin brat sat there in the passenger seat smacking on his gum. And in contrast Ghost just being Some Goofy Guy in a Mask. Adore that.

And the Ghostsoap moments! Is there as much content between them as mwii? No. There are A LOT of characters at play here, which I think is why scenes feel a bit more hollow than mwii. But damn the parts that do feature these gays? They are constantly sitting, standing next to each other, staring at each other in the background, using /that voice/ with each other, being an unhinged iconic duo. I didn’t hear Ghost call him Soap once—this man is handing out Johnny’s like candy on Halloween. And!! They’d known each other at least 4 years before mwii! Fancy that!

“Do you tan or burn, LT?” “An impeccable bronze, Johnny” GET A ROOM

Nik and Laswell’s mission was so good. Nik metalhead canon confirmed. Price’s love and friendship and concern for Kate is so precious

Price always has a headache and nausea he’s just like me fr. Gaz is such? A sweet angel honestly.

Pushing Makarov through the stadium as Soap was so cathartic knowing what was to come

The 141 feels more like a team in this one!

Farah fans got FED. She’s perfect. What a fuckin badass.

Aaaand of course Soap’s death. Playing it through myself, it felt MUCH less…horrid? Do I like that they fridged him after only a year? Absolutely not. There was so much potential there. Do I think that scene could’ve been a lot more dramatic and emotional? Hard yes. BUT. There were little things about it that my angst loving heart liked—the absolute heart wrenching way that “JOHNNY!” rips out of Ghost’s throat. You can see him heavy breathing and shaking his head no. He touches him, rolls him over. Doesn’t leave his side, doesn’t say anything if Price doesn’t move to defuse the bomb, doesn’t try to help in any way. He literally just stays sat there until everyone blows up, perfectly content to die and let everyone else die right along with Soap.

As for the cliff sendoff I would like to wipe that from my brain entirely thanks

Overall I’m glad I didn’t cancel my preorder like I’d thought about. Happy to have some new canon content to play with and simultaneously choose to ignore! Also zombies mode with Soap bossing me around here I come.

[floodonthefloor]

just caught up with ‘into the ether’ and ‘pedestal’ and 🥲🥲🥹🥹❤️❤️ / 👀👀😳😳💦💦

into the ether - loverboy / girl dad rhaenyra is BACK!!! this entire chapter was so beautiful. every line of dialogue perfect, the plot outside of their immediate relationship starting to find a natural resolution that feels completely earned, and the sex scene… just magnificent. also a rhaenyra strapgayren top truther but you handled that so beautifully; it was so heart-wrenching (but in a nice way???) to see alicent rebuild her confidence and trust again, and rhaenyra being so soft and patient and adoring with her. and i know you’d never do this anyway because you’re far too talented a storyteller but i love that you aren’t brushing aside what’s going to realistically be a very long road for alicent to feel secure in their relationship again. hard earned happy endings are the best kind ❤️ this entire story has just been wonderful so thank you thank you thank you for pouring so much heart into it. i hope they get to go on holiday or renew their vows or something in the final chapter because they need some downtime together so badly.

and pedestal… i am literally so obsessed with this and haven’t had this much fun reading anything in probably actual years ???? cannot get enough of the unhinged behaviour and hate sex but also love how much their bond is developing at the same time whether they like it or not, especially those moments of softness / honesty after sex. also love the lowkey dom / sub dynamic it’s so so sexy and so in keeping with this version of them. although poor crazy alicent is gonna be walking like bambi on ice when rhaenyra gets hold of her after chapter 7 looooool 😭

it is genuinely insane how talented you are. your world building, dialogue, sex scenes, ability to create an atmosphere / physicality of a scene without long-winded descriptions, the aliveness of side characters, and just your general syntax is always absolute fire but it’s also mind-blowing how amazing you are at gut-wrenching angst and also fun sexy rom com simultaneously?!! you are one for the ages

accurate emoji progression for this entire fic thank you so much i love you and also thank you and i love you???

[mimiii-3]

hiya! :) hope you're doing well!

could I request a little piece with Azul and a (preferably gn) reader with the same sort of body image issues / body dysmorphia as him? it can be angst, comfort, whatever you feel works best!

thank you~ ♥︎

Hi anon! Thanks for the request! You have good timing cuz I was cooking up something similar with the other boys🤭

Azul reacts to a reader with the same body image issues as him

Note/warning: gn reader, body image issues, angst + comfort

. . .

Azul

• has struggled with his body for many, many years

• his heart breaks when he finds out you know exactly how he feels

• he discovered your body image issues when Ace took a photo of you

• Ace didn’t mean any harm by it, he just likes taking impromptu pictures of his friends

• the picture he took displayed your side profile, one of the aspects of yourself that you hated

• the incident left you spiraling and the only place you could think to go was Azul’s

• he heard the furious knocking at his door and opens it to find you doubled over, crying hysterically

• he ushers you inside with a newfound gentleness

• sits you on his armchair while he speeds off to get you some water and tissues

• he returns and sits between your legs, looking up at you

• he is literally begging you to tell him what happened

• you finally managed to choke out your story in between sobs

• Azul is stumped

• to find out his girlfriend struggles with the same issues as him is both comforting and gut-wrenching

• one on hand, he feels closer to you than ever

• like there is someone out there who truly understands him

• on the other hand, he feels like the worst boyfriend in the world

• how could he not notice you were feeling this way? Was he too invested in his own struggles to not notice yours?

• he can’t decide on what to say so he opts for rubbing his soft hands up and down your thighs

• he slowly starts to mutter how beautiful you are as he moves his arms around your waist

• he pulls your torso closer to him so that your legs are now tight against his sides

• his face is pressed into your tummy while he looks up at you with love and adoration

• you protest and put one hand on his head to try and push him away from another part of yourself you hate

• he doesn’t move and instead squeezes you tighter and shifts from his ‘you’re beautiful’ mantra to a list of everything he loves about you

• you start to cry again, overwhelmed by his sudden outburst of love and affection

• Azul starts to kiss your tummy and then makes his way up to your neck

• he softly pecks your neck and makes his way to your right ear

• kisses the lobe of your ear and then moves on to your cheek

• covers both of your checks in these warm, loving kisses that you can’t help but melt into

• he kisses the tip of your nose before he rubs his own against it

• he opens his eyes and leans back to get a good look at you

• he is fiercely blushing and can hardly for a coherent sentence anymore

• Azul clears his throat and whispers out an ‘I love you’

• you feel so full of love, you can’t help but throw your arms around him

• you kiss the top of his head as you weakly mutter out a ‘thank you’

• he lets out a deep sigh and allows himself to be lightly rocked in your embrace

• you stay in each other’s arms all night long while you simultaneously heal together

“It pains me to see you hurting this way. Let’s make a deal. If you start to be more gentle with yourself, then I will too. Does that sound good, lovey?”

[melancholiepeufiable]

For the end of year fic asks - 1 & 24

hello anon 🫶 i hope you’re doing well

act of god was by far my fav fic to write this year, although renaissance was a close second haha. i think if the editing process wasn’t so miserable, renaissance could’ve got top spot

24. ooo, good question.

i read quite a few fics at the beginning of the year. while a whole lot of them were good, i think a few sebchal fics that are severely under-rated and deserve more hype are:

evergreen by @piastriachios (explicit) - literally one of the best fics i have ever read. it was so heart-wrenching, yet simultaneously comforting. there are some tws for this fic listed in its end notes, so pls be careful!

a penny for your thoughts, a dollar for your insights by anon (explicit) - such a good fic!! i don’t have the words. i literally come back to this fic often just to reread charles’ thoughts and how seb copes with everything.

penny for your thoughts by @12romy (mature) - a comfort fic in a way. i adore the humour. reading seb’s thoughts is honestly sooooo- i love him. and charles dealing with it all ahhhhh, i need to reread.

*if any author wants their fic removed, just lemme know and i’ll do it asap <3

thank youuuuu!!!

[sublimedevastation]

When I finally am able to fully inhabit the Oxymoronic Tao, it will be because I've become adept at living both outside and inside of time. I will adore our special snatch of history with the liberated compassion that comes from being blended with the eleven-dimensional consciousness of the NonBinary Logos—even as I exult in being ground up by the wheels of linear time; even as I exercise my skill for joyfully plucking the essential teaching from each perplexing, glorious, shattering, victorious moment; even as I thrill to the majestic spectacle of my body constantly transforming into different versions of itself, all its atoms regularly exchanged for new ones in the cyclical interplay of apocalypse and rebirth. That's not quite happening with the completeness I hope it will someday. My wild heart isn’t ripe enough. I have not achieved the knack of being torn apart and woven back together a hundred times a day by life's wrenching insistence on cramming delight and loss into every perception. Three times a day, yes, and eight on a good day. But not yet a hundred. I do have an ever-growing tolerance for, even a budding attraction to, being simultaneously seared and comforted by extravagant beauty and desolate longing. But I am not yet strong enough to surrender to the nonstop searing and comforting. And I will need to do that if I want to feel at home full-time in the Oxymoronic Tao. I am more than halfway there, though. I know what it's like to be annihilated by the pouring-out-of-my-skin empathy I feel for all the other creatures I live among. And I know what it's like to reel with rapture as I am rocked by the visceral thrill of my blood resonating with your blood, of my nerves reliving the memory that they are made of the same stardust yours are. Someday I will hum, ever-changing and ever-constant, in the grip of both those states simultaneously. Not just in rare fits of agonizing joy, but on an ongoing basis. As a constant meditation. As a daily spiritual practice.

-Rob Brezsny

[angelofrainfrogs]

Spend the Night: Epilogue

~Coauthored by @zeitghest~

Fandom(s): Five Nights At Freddy’s: Security Breach

Description: The familiar melody of Grandfather’s Clock chimes through the echoing halls of the Pizzaplex…

Charlie wakes up in her Puppet’s vessel yet again with one goal in mind: to stop William Afton’s reign of terror for good. She enlists the help of Glamrock Freddy, the emphatic leader of the newest iteration of the Fazbear Band. But there seems to be more to this bear than meets the eye—and the same goes for the mysteriously familiar kid the duo find tinkering with animatronics down in Parts & Service.

With some help from friends new and old, Charlie’s journey into the bowels of the Pizzaplex will unravel mysteries none of them ever expected. 

Rating: T

Read on Ao3

Simon says I found myself I cleaned the dust off of the shelf What's your choice? In the end I'll always be your friend

Well done, superstar! Shine a light, we're fighting the dark Well done, superstar! It's my grand design I'll never ever leave you behind

~Superstar by CG5~

Gregory had his fists balled in anticipation by his chest. Once Freddy moved his arms outward, Gregory belted out an excited shout before jumping into the arms of his hero.

“It worked! You look just like a person!” His face buried into Freddy's stomach, the softness of his sweater making Gregory even more tired than before. He felt as though he could pass out right then and there in a cloud of gentle comfort.

For Charlie, seeing a soul bound to a new body not of her own doing had been a little shocking. It would take some getting used to for sure, but really all that mattered was that Gregory didn't mind the change. To the boy, it was still his Freddy—this time with a noticeable heartbeat and a warm tone to his voice instead of a metallic echo.

“Look at us!” Charlie said with an enthusiastic laugh. “A bunch of totally normal people!”

Truly, it was a second chance at living for all of them.

Freddy held his son close and chuckled at his excitement, a deep, rumbling sound that echoed in his chest. Now that he had the facial features to do so, he pressed a quick kiss to the top of Gregory's messy hair, then looked to Charlie and Michael. He didn't think he'd be able to stop smiling for quite a while.

“Seems like you're happy in there, Fredbear,” Michael said, grinning back at him. It was endearing how Gregory clung, the boy's adoration for his father almost more obvious now that they looked just like anyone you'd pass on the street.

Well, except for the striking eyes.

Like father, like son, Michael thought, not feeling the need to point this feature out. Surely Freddy would see the faint electric glow as soon as he looked in a mirror.

“It will take some getting used to, but it is far from unpleasant,” Freddy confirmed, now rubbing soothing circles onto Gregory's back. The boy's grip had lessened, and when Freddy glanced down he swore the kid was actually starting to fall asleep.

Gently, he held him out by the shoulders so he could meet Gregory's utterly exhausted gaze. Automatically he tried to perform a health scan, but to Freddy's surprise no glowing light came forth from his eyes. Apparently that was just one of the many features specific to his Glamrock body.

“Gregory, you seem exhausted...,” he said softly. “Here, please get up for a moment so I can stand and then I will carry you, alright?”

“Huh?” Gregory was a little out of it, slow to respond when Freddy’s simulated heartbeat had him falling asleep right there. Getting the picture he rose up to his feet and held out a hand to his dad.

“Poor little man’s so tired he can’t even speak,” Charlie remarked, finding it simultaneously cute and heart-wrenching.

He must’ve been waiting until they got everything done to finally rest. Gregory’s mission for the weekend was complete, and now it was time to find a place for them to bunk out before starting the next leg of their journey into the future.

Freddy wasted no time hoisting the boy up, allowing Gregory's head to rest on his shoulder as he wrapped one arm securely around his back while the other supported him underneath. To Freddy's relief, the strength and effort used to lift him felt no different than when he'd done so in his old body. Perhaps the transition would be easier than he initially thought.

“Okay, time to get this kid a real bed,” Michael remarked, pulling Charlie to her feet as he got up as well. He patted his pocket to make sure Sammy's wallet was still there, then glanced side-long at Charlie. “Maybe you should see if Sam's still in Freddy's room? And if so, you can explain why a random man is about to come out of the storage area carrying Gregory... Also we should let him know that Glamrock Freddy's shell is back here now.”

It might’ve taken some time, but Gregory had fallen asleep against the animatronic’s formerly tough but smooth metal exterior before. However, now that Freddy resembled a soft human Gregory passed out immediately once tucked into his embrace.

Charlie reached upwards, fluffing Gregory’s hair without resistance for once. “Yeah—I’ll go and explain it. Maybe you guys should take the back way out of Rockstar row? I’m afraid of Sammy passing out again.”

She could see how stressed her brother had become over the years. He had the same round face as their father, though it had a gauntness Henry didn’t possess. Sam had also definitely grown into a more nervous demeanor over the years. Her carefree brother was now a suit, and a stressed-out one at that. Charlie wasn’t going to add on more than necessary unless she wanted to put Sammy in an early grave like the rest of his family.

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best…” Michael spared a mildly concerned glance towards the closed door leading to Freddy’s room. “We’ll swing by the gift shop and meet you at the front doors; we can get at least one new outfit before we’re out of here.” If they wanted anything other than Fazbear merch Michael knew they’d have to visit a store outside the Pizzaplex, but for now he was content to grab some more of the free stuff. He had a feeling the others didn’t mind, either.

“Please tell Samuel that I am sorry for leaving so suddenly, but my body is completely functional if he would like to use it for another Freddy model,” the original Freddy requested, trying not to think about the existential crisis this might cause down the line. He leaned his head ever-so-gently against Gregory’s, who was still sound asleep. “I would also be completely willing to tell the other animatronics about my, ah… state when they are online again, if that is the direction we chose to go; I feel as though the answers they receive from staff might leave them with more questions…”

“Charlie will let Sam know; come on, big guy.” With an understanding smile Michael patted Freddy’s arm, urging him to follow as he started to make his way through the twisting corridors of the back rooms.

Now that they had no threats to watch out for, their trip was smooth-sailing. Within minutes they emerged into the bright lights of the atrium and Freddy looked around curiously, trying to tell if anything was different now. Really, the only things so far that were altered from his original body were the lack of technological overlays on his vision—he could still pull some internal health indicators up if he tried, though these were completely different to the ones he was familiar with—and a slight shift in height, which he was already adjusting to.

Still carrying his sleeping son, Freddy followed Michael into the gift shop and perused the shelves for a new outfit Gregory might like. It seemed as though Sammy had given staff a day off after his staggering revelation; the Pizzaplex was startlingly empty, save for a few fleeting people that were rushing for the exits. Clearly, everyone needed a break.

Gregory was half awake, half asleep. Finally his exhaustion could be seen through the cheap façade he managed to keep up the entirety of the weekend. The boy had his eyes closed, spurring to consciousness every now and then as his father went through the clothing racks before dozing off again. He managed to open his eyes briefly as he watched Michael peruse the various outfit combinations. Managing the strength to speak up, Gregory pointed to another tank top. This one was a muted pink, and bore a smiling Freddy head on its chest.

“I want the Freddy one,” he murmured, hand dropping back down again to curl up closer to the former bear once again.

Outside the storefronts, Charlie was walking with her brother. The two were laughing together and she popped the CEO playfully in the arm, her knuckles brushing Sammy’s bicep as she laughed at his joke. Catching sight of the others emerging from the shop, Sam raised a hand. He wasn’t too eager to see them leave, but couldn’t just go back to work trying to clean up this mess without saying goodbye to his friends.

Soon enough, Mike had a large bag full of various clothing options slung over his left shoulder. They’d even picked out a new outfit for Freddy if he got tired of the sweater and blue jeans he currently wore. Michael didn’t change yet, though a crimson red beanie with a little classic Foxy decal had been pulled over his head to cover the dried, matted blood. He had a feeling their ragtag group might attract unwanted attention until they recovered from the shock of actually being outside, so Mike didn’t want his already-healed wound to summon more of it. As they stepped out into the lobby, they caught sight of Charlie and Sammy lingering nearby.

“Hey!” Michael called with a wave, walking over to them. “We’re all set if you are, Charlie. I was thinking of where we could go and I remembered there should be a hotel not too far from here—unless that’s gone now? I’m… wow, I’m actually not sure what year it is. Huh.”

While he and Charlie had quickly learned where they were, in all the chaos of the weekend they’d failed to learn when they currently existed. Michael looked to Sammy questioningly, although the man seemed fixated on the red-head carrying Evan’s look-alike.

“It is 2022,” Freddy responded, offering a smile which he soon turned on Samuel. Holding Gregory close, he gave a soft laugh. “I apologize if my appearance is jarring; I have not fully gotten used to it myself.”

Michael was now staring at the ground, trying to process the fact that he’d been literally dead to the world for six years. Freddy and Charlie weren’t the only ones who might have some whiplash when they left the Pizzaplex… although Michael knew he’d probably still be the most well-adjusted out of the group. 

“Lucky for us,” Sammy smirked to them, pulling out his phone to show them the google maps of the area. “This location's close to the hotel people stay at before heading towards Zion—it was finished around the same time we opened. You guys should stay there!”

It was close, and easy for Sam to stop by the hotel and check up on them if needed. Besides, it was a tourist hot spot so people likely wouldn't bat an eye at a family staying there for more than a week if necessary. Charlie reached over, unable to help herself as she controlled the digital map with her finger.

“Woah. Portable interactive maps,” she remarked, impressed by the smart device. Samuel laughed at his sister, gently pushing her hand away as he repositioned the map.

“Lottie, stop,” he chuckled, showing them the address and where to go. Afterwards he give them his business card, holding it out for the redhead to grab from his fingers. “Call me when you all get there... I know you'll make me a proud old programmer, Freddy.”

It felt odd to be so supportive of a robot. Then again, Sam never expected his creations to become self-aware. From the short chat he’d had with Charlie, Freddy’s AI was on an entirely new level. Caging something that could think so deeply felt wrong.

“Thank you, Samuel,” Freddy replied, slipping the card in his pants pocket before wrapping his arm around Gregory once again. His gaze was soft and appreciative as he looked at the man who'd given him a chance at life. “For everything.”

“Alright, come on, you sappy bear,” Michael piped up, gently pushing Freddy's back in an effort to get him moving towards the door. He then reached out to firmly grasp Sam's forearm, the touch proving yet again that he and Charlie were actually here right now.

“We'll be back tonight,” he reassured, his gaze flitting around the bright atrium. “Once we rest up and clear our heads, we're coming back to sort things out, okay? We’re not going to leave you again, Sam.”

He wanted to reassure Sammy that he wasn’t about to lose his old friends so soon after he'd gotten them back... Plus, if he made a promise to return, it made Michael all the more willing to actually follow through instead of running as far away from any Fazbear Franchise he could.

He'd never do that, though. He couldn't as a kid, nor as an adult. Hell, he couldn't even get away as a zombie, and surely wasn't about to break that trend as a ghost-robot.

Samuel turned, placing a hand on Michael's shoulder. Maybe he was double-checking he could still reach out and touch the guy.

“We'll have a lot to discuss then—until next time, buddy.” Sam pulled him in, not shy about hugging his friend. He thought after all these years he'd become a little jaded with his loneliness. Apparently not. With memories flooding back, he never realized how badly he missed all of them until there was nothing left...

“Keep her safe when I'm not there, Mike,” Sam whispered quietly. Should his sister hear that he was begging Mike to look after her, Charlie would likely scoff and roll her eyes. Sammy felt as though his heart would just give out if something happened to her again after all this. Pulling back to see Michael’s face, Sammy waited, hoping to get an honest promise out of the old prankster.

“Not a hair will be out of place when you see us again—I promise.” Mike pressed a hand to his chest, a playful smirk quirking up the corner of his mouth, but the sincere light in his eyes told Sammy that he meant every word. Michael then stepped up to Charlie and hooked an arm though hers, leading her towards the doors where Freddy was already waiting for them.

“See you later, Sam!” he called over his shoulder, flashing his old friend one last grin. Patting his jeans pocket once more, Mike confirmed Sammy's hefty wallet was still there as he pulled Charlie along. He then let out a tiny snicker, glancing side-long at her. “It didn't occur to me that you've never experienced the wonders of Google... Or smartphones.” 

So close to freedom, for so many years. While Charlie could’ve left at any time, she’d always felt trapped in the afterlife—never able to rest, always waiting for new victims to fall from William’s cruel blade of madness.

Now, her and her friends were finally free. Not only physically, but mentally as well. The guilt and rage she'd been exposed to began to melt away as she rested her head against Michael's shoulder.

“What makes the phones so smart anyway? And Google? That sounds gross.” She laughed, only imagining what that could be. Forty years without pop culture had put her in the dark about many things. Certainly Gregory would’ve gladly caught her up were he not resembling a melted pile of ice cream in Freddy's arms.

The automatic doors opened for them to reveal the parking lot, and further out the road and bright morning sun nearly blinded Charlie at first. But seeing the real world for the first time in a long while was a spectacular pleasure Charlie had missed so dearly.

Michael simply laughed at his dearest friend's comments, leading her out into the daylight. While he hadn't been trapped inside nearly as long as her and the others, as he stepped into the sun he realized he'd missed the outside world far more than he ever imagined he could. Once Mike and Charlie's dirty shoes were officially on the sidewalk, he turned back to see Freddy hesitating just inside the glass doors. Michael tapped Charlie's arm, pulling her attention to their formerly-animatronic friend as he geared up for the last few steps that would change his life forever.

Before he could walk through the doors, Freddy spared one final, lingering glance around the lobby of the only place he'd known for his whole existence. Even though he could still come back anytime he pleased, he'd no longer be able to call this place “home.” Although as his eyes fell upon Michael and Charlie now backlit by the rising sun, then to the sleeping boy in his arms, Freddy realized he was just fine with that.

Freddy took a deep, simulated breath, then stepped into the world he'd only been able to encounter through stories and pictures in his databanks. As the sun hit his skin, he was surprised to feel how toasty it was—not to mention how bright. He blinked rapidly, having to look at the dark asphalt for a moment while his eyes adjusted. Gregory remained in his arms this entire time, so calm and relaxed, and suddenly Freddy was totally overwhelmed.

He wasn't sure what prompted it. Maybe it was the sheer magnitude of all they'd accomplished, or the consciousness he was still getting used to. Maybe it was just a quirk of this new body that he'd have to ask Henry about later. But to Freddy's surprise a few warm, wet tears suddenly welled up in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks before he could stop them.

Charlie wouldn't call attention to it—she wondered even if Freddy knew he was crying. Instead, she’d cheer him on.

“We did it,” she reminded with a smile. “We got out safe with Gregory!”

It was a bit alarming to see Freddy with those raw emotions, when before he couldn't cry even if he needed to. It humanized him further, and suddenly Charlie remembered she wasn't talking to a personified bear anymore. Freddy was a whole person with emotions comparable to their own.

From the sounds of the birds chirping, to the occasional car passing down the road; the ants on the sidewalk, to a lone cloud that framed the blue sky—the summer air was buzzing with the energy of life passing them by. Charlie couldn't help but feel giddy. Today was the first day of the rest of their lives, and she couldn't hide the happiness it brought her.

“It’ll be alright,” Charlie added softly, echoing the words Freddy used in their first meeting as she urged him forth.

“Yes; it will be,” Freddy agreed without hesitation, smiling even as he lifted an arm to wipe the tear streaks away on his sleeve. Gregory shifted slightly, mumbling something incoherent, which caused Freddy to chuckle softly. 

“You okay, Fredbear?” Mike felt the need to ask, one eyebrow raised as the bear joined him and Charlie in the parking lot. Freddy simply nodded and grinned even wider.

“Yes—very much so. Come on; let us go to this hotel!” Freddy's tone was eager and full of pure, unadulterated joy, not unlike that of the kids he'd formerly entertained. He still had an inch or so of height on Michael, and he looked over the man's head as he tried to take in as much of the area as he could.

Together they walked, heading towards a future that was unclear and uncertain—but undeniably bright.

***

Previous Chapter ~~ NEXT INSTALLMENT: Going Back, Ch. 1

Looking for more? Check out the Chapter Masterlist on Tumblr!

Or check out the entire Wires that Bind Us Series on ao3!

[esthermika]

Hey why do you like Sayori instead of just Monika JUST MONIKA

This was probably just a joke but fuck you here's a serious answer.

Spoilers for Doki Doki Literature Club ahead

Sayori is the best character ever written in any piece of fiction. Every aspect of her is brilliant and beautiful. She is so cute, adorable, lovable and also cunning, emotionally intelligent and deeply introspective. Her dynamic with the other club members is phenomenal and you can feel the gaping hole her absence leaves during Act 2.

The fucking retribution, restitution, revolution scene is the best fucking scene in the game and her side story is simultaneously the most heart-wrenching and touching story out of them all and completely re-contextualizes her relationship with Monika.

Sayo-nara is the best song in the sound track and her death scene is easily the most unnerving piece of horror in the game.

But by far the most important thing for me is the impact she had on me personally. Sayori was the first character I ever fell in love with, not in a romantic sense, but in pure admiration and passion for her and the way she was written. I love her design, personality, color scheme, the themes her story tells, her interactions with the other characters, her twist in Act 4, the way she perfectly reflected my feelings dealing with depression and how her outlook on life was so hauntingly relatable and intimately familiar.

She means a lot to me and her story will forever be carved into my brain.

After I played DDLC for the first time I couldn't focus on anything else. My brain could only think of that game and the emotions it made me feel. A large part of that as Sayori. I wasn't in a good place at the time and playing DDLC did not help, but it changed my life forever for the better. It helped me understand myself and give words to feelings I couldn't describe.

So that's why sorry if this is ramble-ly and doesn't make much sense :p

[fearforthestorm]

you listen to so many of my music postings and ive loved everything youve recommended me !! GIVE ME SOME MUSIC RECS (IF YOUD LIKE) !!

HI SAT I loveeeee your musicpostings they're SO good your recs are always amazing please keep musicposting forever !!

some recs of what I've been enjoying lately:

- Superchunk's album What A Time To Be Alive, especially the track Break The Glass! they're a rock band and I really enjoy the energy of their music.

- literally ALL of Anna Tivel's music, but the album Outsiders is probably my favorite - I bought the vinyl of it when I saw her opening for tMG and listened to it when I got home, and the absolutely heart-wrenching way that she paints stories in her songs floored me. some specific songs that I adore are Black Umbrella, Royal Blue, The Question, and One Thousand & One. her music is more on the slow-quiet side, I might compare it to some of the less intense crane wives songs? but her vocals shine in a really lovely way, and everything she sings feels so beautiful and real.

- Kevin Devine's album Nothing's Real So Nothing's Wrong, especially the track Albatross - another artist that I discovered when I saw them live & got this album on vinyl from, and I really enjoy how it's simultaneously so raw and so...abstract, I guess? I'd describe this album as stylistically somewhere between the narcissist cookbook and will wood.

aaaaaand quickfire round of one-off songs that I've enjoyed recently: Fuselage by Animal Hospital, Dominoes by Mary Timony, Lifers by Spanish Love Songs, Self Betterment In A Time Of Loneliness by Short Fictions, Tears in Costa by Junk Drawer.

this ended up being longer than I intended lmao but hope you enjoy!!! thank you for asking this was a lot of fun please talk to me about music ANYTIME :D

[pacificwaternymph]

Hello yes I recently read your Lim Life selfie fic and absolutely adored it. I’ve followed you for a while but haven’t had time to sit down and read through your works. I also binge read the kid Xornoth AU.

First of all, your writing style is amazing. I love how descriptive you are, especially with emotions and how they effect the body and mind. This is specifically seen with panic attacks, as both fics I’ve read are very much filled to the brim with them. Anyway yeah. I have a hard time communicating emotion over text, and if I try to copy what others do, like keysmashes and lots of emojis and whatnot, it just doesn’t feel genuine, so I stick with boring sounding sentences. But just know that I love your writing so much. Your way with characters is amazing. If you could hear my voice, you’d hear how happy reading your stuff makes me.

The selkie fic is so beautiful and heart-wrenching. Jimmy was just being himself, trying to help, and did something absolutely horrendous by mistake. I’ve re-read the part where he realizes many times now.

And the kid Xornoth au. Where do I even begin? I loved Scott in the latest chapter, how earnestly he believes that Xornoth is good and would never dream of hurting anyone. And to be fair, moving forward he doesn’t want to hurt people. Oh, but if only they knew his past. I simultaneously can’t wait for that reveal but also am very much dreading it.

Anyway yeah. you’re amazing, your writing is amazing, and I hope you have a wonderful day

- 🧁 (idk if that’s taken. If so, I could be 🎭 or 🎲)

Are you kidding me this is the sweetest thing EVER

What an absolute delight to wake up to <3

Thank you so much, cupcake anon (it is not taken so it is now yours!) that is so so so sweet <3

I've always prided myself on being able to accurately portray emotions and have worked really hard to be able to convey the strength and intensity of the characters' feelings, so it makes me so happy to hear that it paid off.

Yeah misunderstandings are my jam. Well- only a certain type of misunderstanding, you have to be careful or they can just get annoying. But when they're done right then MM.

Aaaaah I know! I live for good brother Scott. But oh yeah, there's a lot coming up for the both of them haha.

[sun-marie]

"People you'd like to know better"

tag game!

I was tagged by @jespardon! Thank you for the tag, words are not really coming to me today so I apologize if this seems kinda clunky 😅

three ships : 

Gale/Tav (BG3): I’m so sorry but this pairing has me in a vice grip 😭❤ The way it just feels so organic!! And it’s so wholesome!! Like watching Zephyr (my tav) and Gale fall in love in the first two acts is simultaneously adorable and heart wrenching, and then watching them stay together through everything in act 3 is just so *clenches fist* so good!! I feel like all I do is talk about them nowadays lol

Shepard/Kaidan (ME): I’ve been thinking a lot about Kaidan recently, and good lord I love his character so much. I’m learning that I’m a big fan of relationships with a breakup or some kind of separation in the middle, only to come back with twice the devotion (fenhawke is another good example). I wasn’t here when those games were coming out since I’ve only played the LE, so I have no idea how the fandom at large see him, but his relationship with Shepard is by far the best part of ME3 for me ❤

Felix/Annette (FE3H): The ultimate comfort ship for me ❤ I love how Annette brings out Felix’s softer side, and I love how smitten he is with her. Opposites attract pairings aren’t usually my cup of tea bc I feel like it’s too easy to write two people who are just incompatible, but these two really benefit from the five year timeskip and the chance to grow with each other (even if they’re physically apart). Idk if that makes any sense, but even despite the fact that it’s been a very long time since I’ve played 3H I still get all warm and fuzzy when I see art of them or read a really good fic about them.

last film :

So I found out recently that my mom had never watched Dreamworks’ “Prince of Egypt” (which was a lie bc she definitely showed it to me as a small child and just didn’t remember), so we sat down together for an afternoon and watched it. I had forgotten how good that movie is, even if some scenes hit particularly hard due to *gestures vaguely* everything. Still to this day my favorite depiction of Moses’s story <3

currently watching :

So not technically watching currently bc I finished it a few days ago, but “Blue Eye Samurai” on Netflix 👀 I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and at the same time I have no idea how to feel about it lol. I’m a weenie so the sex and violence was a bit much for me, but the setting and the story are so interesting, and the characters are SUPER interesting. It’s been a long time since I’ve fallen for a protagonist as hard as Mizu 💙 It almost got too much for me and I nearly dropped it, but then there was that scene with Fowler in the “church” and I was like "oh? Oh so this guy’s like evil evil? to the core? Fascinating 👀👀👀" And I stuck it out til the end! I’m glad I did, it was 100% worth it, even if I had to watch most of it through my fingers lmao.

currently reading :

I am not a huge reader, unfortunately 😅  But for my English class we just finished reading “Passing” by Nella Larsen, which I enjoyed! I don’t feel I have much to add about it, and even if I did I doubt there’d be a ton of value in the 72456456th white person throwing in their two cents on how people of color deal with the racial structure in America

currently consuming :

Baldur’s Gate 3

Coral Island

Way too much sugar (send help)(my tummy hurts)

currently craving :

Mass Effect 2

P*zza H*t thin crust Hamburger Pizza

Sopapilla Cheesecake (my main contribution to the Thanksgiving table, I'm so excited!!)

Tagging @full---ofstarlight @beyondthetower and @thefife01 ! No pressure at all tho if y'all don't feel like it 😊

[dazzlegradual]

What Makes a Good Romance?

I’ve been thinking lately about my gripes with the romance genre. I'm a romantic girlie who is simultaneously critical of “women’s media”, but I don't want to condemn something just because women enjoy it. I have a hard time achieving balance between these competing beliefs. Let us then begin with a disclaimer: while I am, in my heart, a hater, I am a girls’ girl who loves girly things. That said, I take issue with the many expected tropes in the romance genre, and that it doesn't try hard enough to produce good writing.

Overall, I believe romance relies too heavily on tropes, which are now weakening the genre's ability to encourage writers to challenge themselves, banking instead on normative design and predictable plots. The romance genre is evolving into a capitalistic, polished, lush-pink echo chamber, filled more-so with archetypes and the wide swath 'vibe' of a book than actual substantive passion projects. Authors who can punt out puff pieces one after the other get big contracts, forgettable book covers, and slapped into Godforsaken BookTok recommendation kiosks at Barns and Noble.

I’ve cared about books and reading for my entire life — and my favorite books have always been (in one way or another) about love. How it precludes us, beckons us, dismays us. How despite causing our most gut-wrenching, lonely, and devastating life experiences, it's also the catalyst of all of our most powerful, ecstatic moments of joy.

Romance is thus, unsurprisingly, an incredible popular book genre: being that it's solely dedicated to exploring people's romantic relationships. And given that it's such a popular genre, there's a lot of money to be made and authors trying their hat at romance. The genre right now is so overpopulated with a wide breath of sub-genres, tropes, and storylines, and there's also a large variety in the quality of writing that gets published. Some of romances' most popular genre writers, like Colleen Hoover, Ali Hazelwood, and Sally Thorne, for example, are talented enough in that their writing is readable, but their writing is not (in my opinion) all that good. I could write a lot more about why I think these authors aren't that great, but right now, in my first blog post about my Issues with the Romance Genre, I'm going to first focus on an author who I really, really adore. I want to talk about Emily Henry, who exemplifies the potential of romance, and keeps me optimistically crawling back to the genre, hoping other authors are half as good as her.

I’m currently revisiting an old favorite romance book: People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry. Henry is definitely one of the most popular voices in the romance genre. She’s published three books in her short writing career spanning just five years thus far, and has another book coming out this month. Her books are funny, smart, and easily digestible. The outline of the main characters are always recognizable archetypes, but they still feel flushed out. It feels like she more so uses tropes as a starting point, then she explores how a trope might actually be a real, breathing human. And while all of her books are about two people falling in love, they're also about people in their 30's undergoing some kind of existential life crisis. It's a refreshing balance: both in the age of the characters and how well Henry expands the inner world of her main characters. (It honestly reminds me a lot of what people love about Nora Efron movies!)

People We Meet on Vacation (which came out in May of 2021) is about what to do after you accomplish your biggest goal and lose your sense of purpose. It's also about how the timing of our life choices can be consequential, but we can always change our mind. Mostly, though, it’s a book about how messy it is fall love with your decade-long best friend.

After an exhilarating best-selling debut with Beach Read in 2020, Emily Henry returned just a year later with an unexpected book about going on vacation. People We Meet on Vacation (hereafter PWMOV) introduces us to Poppy and Alex, two people who seemingly have nothing common besides their love of cheap travel and, of course, each other. I was so excited to read this book. When Henry described PWMOV on her instagram, she teased that it would span the entire 12 years of Poppy and Alex's friendship. I love books with flashbacks: I find that novels work as a good medium for large time jumps in storytelling -- more so than film or plays because novels allow for immersive yet clear time differentiations in the way other mediums can't. For example, Henry starts chapters of PWMOV with chonicalizing titles like "10 summers ago" "7 years ago" etc. It's quick, effective, and nondisruptive to the reading experience. And in my opinion, no matter how well it's cast, this couldn't be replicated on film. Aging characters never works that well. Anyone who's watched Daisy Jones & The Six can tell you that. (A notable exemption here is the movie Moonlight).

Another example of this time-bending storytelling working well is in Attachments by Rainbow Rowell, where each chapter opens with an email correspondence, each dated with their time/date. I particularly love this example of Attachments because the use of email time stamps also tells us when the emails are being sent, and thus which characters might be things like night owls. It's an adorable element of characterization. I'll probably talk about Attachments another time, because I truly think it's the best love story ever written.

Anyway -- I loved PWMOV and finished it in two days. I recommended it widely and without reservation to all my friends who asked for a good book to read that summer. It superseded my already high opinion of Emily Henry's previous book, Beach Read. "This book is even better than her first!" I remember saying to people, not realizing then that I was espousing a hot take.

I have many friends who also love Emily Henry’s books, but PWMOV tends to be their least favorite. So many people, based on my conversations and cursory glances at GoodReads reviews (which I do not recommend), seem to prefer Book Lovers (which came out after PWMOV) or her first book Beach Read. 

But PWMOV is by far my favorite of Henry’s, and is likely to remain so. Though I can understand why certain aspects of the book might not appeal to people, especially given the convoluted time-jumping Henry employs. Maybe it makes the book hard to follow for other people. but this book really works for me.

I love the non-chronological flashbacks in PWMOV and how much the narrative moves around. When you’ve known someone for so long, like our two main characters in PWMOV, your memories tend to get muddled and messy. Things get jumbled and you forget who said what or what happened when. I loved that Henry chose to write the book this way. The intersection of time and space made the relationship between Poppy and Alex feel very real, and I got the sense that these were two people who had both known each other a long time and truly care about each other. While they were, on the surface, extraordinarily different and seemingly incompatible, their shared history contextualized their undying loyalty and mutual connection.

This is different from a lot of romance novels, where the two leads share nothing in common besides a undeniable, unshakable attraction, despite having nothing in common, and sometimes even hating each other. Sure, this dynamic makes for great sex scenes and biting dialogue. But I'm always left thinking that this kind of relationship is going to crash and burn in two weeks, which makes the inevitable 'happily ever after' all the more unconvincing. Plus, romantic leads are always sexually insatiable with one another, and I sometimes get reminded of having to awkwardly evade that one couple in high school who couldn't go an hour without making out. I don't want to be that couple, and I don't really want to read that couple. They were the worst!

But People We Meet on Vacation is a romance about two people realizing that it's not enough to fall in love. Poppy and Alex are pretty immature in the flashbacks, especially in their college years. Poppy is impulsive in a way that feels nearly reckless on their first vacations, following random dudes back to tents and showing literally no self preservation skills. She comes across as a lot more tender, vulnerable, and sincere in later years and subsequent chapters. When she's younger, she gets frustrated with Alex's reserved approach to life, and has to get better at empathizing with his perspective. Throughout the book, Poppy learns to not only understand Alex's life philosophy, she values how his experiences shaped him into the person she loves. She sees all of him, and it makes her love him more.

This novel spans 12 years, and it genuinely felt like you were watching two people get through an entire decade with the other at their side. When they fall in love, I buy it.

I think this book is something special. It affirmed for me my stance that 'friends to lovers' is the best of the romance genres, if there is to be any kind of ranking system, and if genres have to exist. But much to my dismay, it often feels like ‘friends to lovers’ is an underestimated storytelling device in the romance genre, despite being the most realistic depiction of how organic romantic connections can be formed in the real world.

'Friends to lovers' romance books often start with one or more of the main characters in another long term relationship. Or maybe they’re getting over a bad breakup. Maybe the two friends don’t realize their feelings until it feels too late. Maybe they're scared to admit their feelings, choosing to prioritize the friendship. Maybe they misread their mutual love for one another for years. Regardless of the particular story arc, the 'friends to lovers' sub-genre is always shaped around two people who (regardless of any romantic attraction) genuinely love and understand one another.

Personally, I’m much more enchanted by the idea of someone seeing me, really seeing me, and choosing to love me. I’m skeptical of passionate, fast paced love affairs (though I’ve had my fair share) that burn brightly and quickly. I do suppose some people want a love that makes them feel like they’re on fire, and I suppose in some ways I want to burn, too. But mostly, I want love to feel like something I can come home to — over, and over, and over again. I don't want to fall in love with my enemy. I want to fall in love with someone who loves me.

Perhaps what I most love about People We Meet on Vacation is that it doesn’t feel like falls under the umbrella of a typical ‘romance’ book. I do love romance as a narrative device, but as I've said, I get irritated by romance as a genre. Many of the tropes considered typical for romance strike me as cliched, over-played, and honestly sexist: the male-lead is always withdrawn, physically domineering, and jealous, while the leading lady is oh-so-tiny, self doubting, and extraordinarily clumsy. There’s always a grand miscommunication towards the end of the second act, over something that is so minute and excusable that it forces the main characters to act with the emotional maturity of 14 year olds. And as the end of the third act draws to a close and we approach our inevitable climax, one of the leads leaps into a romantic, larger than life gesture to pronounce their love, which leads immediately into the denouement, where everything is resolved and our happily ever after is guaranteed.

I personally dislike this approach to writing for how prescriptive and overly simple it is. Most romance books these days read like like a mad-libs. Switch out the main character’s jobs, the quirky-but-wise neighbor, the sassy best friend, the montages, and the chapter 22 sex scene, the mis-read text, and BOOM, a U.S.A. Today best seller. While pulp fiction has basically always existed, but with mediums like BookTok, the swelling monster known as the Romance Book Industrial Complex has been exploited and exacerbated. It means a lot of shitty books get published. It allows mediocre authors like Colleen Hoover to rise to stardom for their abilities to showcase incompatible and boring people doing terrible things to each other because Hoover is able to follow a formula that people will read.

In defense of the genre, there aren’t a lot of gatekeepers in the romance genre. Since the tropes are so pronounced, a new author can write a relatively sound story with very few original ideas. I imagine it's a good way to get started as a writer, or get out of a writers block. There’s a reason there’s such a huge overlap in authors of romance and fan fiction. People come to expect certain things from a genre — and authors learn to deliver exactly what the people want. It's a self replenishing ecosystem.

I can appreciate, too, that a lot of people who love romance and read it to escape: to revel in guaranteed happy endings. People read for all kinds of reasons — and a valid reason is to escape into a blissful cocoon of hot, slicked, angsty abs on a dude named Theodore (or some shit) galloping on horseback through a moonlit beach, straight into the path of an unsuspecting lady’s companion named Carolina who's real passion is knitting yarn rose-bouquets for kittens. (I actually just made this last bit up, but if this isn’t a book yet, it should be. It probably is. I’m not that original.)

My friends who like romance don’t tend to like PWMOV because it doesn’t follow the prescriptive tropes of romance. And I like all the more because it doesn’t. Poppy and Alex feel real, and this book should receive more recognition for its subversive approach to the romance genre. The two leads already know and love each other when the book starts, and they love each other for the entire book. That's never the problem. Miscommunications do happen, but they are the messy, real, human kind.

I especially love that the grand ‘miscommunication’ in PWMOV happens before the narration occurs, but that we don’t know what it is until the book is almost over. It builds great suspense: in the first chapter, we are told something terrible happened two summers ago that ripped Alex and Poppy apart, and they haven't spoken since. Thus, when chapter 32 arrives with the title "Two Summers Ago" and we finally get to read about Croatia, we know something big is coming, because it already did. And when the Croatia fuck-up happens, you’ve spent over half a book with these two characters who have spent 12 years chasing each other around the world on vacations. They know each other inside and out. You know they're going to get through Croatia. And, even still, what happens in Croatia is a miscommunication that makes sense: they both freaked out over something they weren't ready for and then built it up in their heads for two years. I do that! We all do that!

And while PWMOV doesn't grant us with the grand, explosive miscommunication trop so indicative of the romance genre, I would have bought it if it did happen. This is the kind of person you have a blow up argument with — not someone you met 6 weeks ago when they accidentally stepped on your foot at a Belle and Sebastian concert and subsequently joined your effort to stop cruise ships from selling a specific and exploitative brand of bird earrings that are coincidentally made by your long-lost twin sister. (I’m just giving these ideas out for free, people!)

On the first page of The Secret History, Tartt tells you that Bunny will die, and who killed him. In the first chapter of Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, we learn Sam and Sadie will not be speaking to each other in their early thirties. And in People We Meet on Vacation, we know that the Croatia trip will be a disaster. I love stories that reveal details early on but make you wait to understand how they happened. We get the spoiler early on. We read anyway, and we can’t help but care. So many books in the romance genre are essentially ruined if you're told the spoilers because the emotional attachments to the book are only as good as the gotcha's. But life isn't made up of big, surprising 'aha!'s. We hurt each other in predictable ways. We say things we don't mean, we do things before we're ready.

When my friends hurt my feelings, I forgive them. Maybe I already even know things will blow up with certain people in my life. But I can't help but care. I can't help but keep them around. I care about the history I have with people, and even if it makes me more vulnerable, I can't help but forgive them. I am lucky to have my life filled with friends who I've known for years and years. For some of them, I don't remember how I met them or even really why we're friends. What did we originally bond about? Did we meet during class or through other people? Where is that inside joke from? But I don't need to recall all of our shared moments together to remember why I love them -- all I need to know is that they've shown up again, and again, and again.

I'll end this with a slight (but not altogether surprising revelation given that this IS a romance book) spoiler: the first time that Alex and Poppy (FINALLY) sleep together in their awful Palm Springs hotel, Poppy is aghast. Apparently, the sex is mind-altering amazing. This is always true in romance books, but unlike so many romance books, I believe that this first time could be as amazing as Poppy thinks. She herself is in disbelief. The first time isn't supposed to be this good. Why was it this good? How is it this good?

And Alex responses to her incredulity, “because I know you, and I remember what you sound like when you like something.” And you know what! That is an incredibly hot thing to say, and I believe him.

That's what I love most about People We Meet on Vacation. When Emily Henry shows us that Poppy and Alex take care of each other when they're sick, know about each other's parental trauma, talk about their shared hometown, and imagine their lives with the other person always being there, I believe her when she says these people are best friends. I believe that these two people, who know each other inside and out, could fall in love, and stay in love. It's one of the only 'Happily Ever Afters' I've ever bought, and it's probably because it was 12 years in the making.