#it’s rowdy and hilarious

[theeryn-the-gold]

i want “S2 E33 - An Extremely Goofy Episode” written on my gravestone

[grandmoments]

That's how you show your uninterest!

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

[84reedsy]

Happy Birthday to the Rowdy one himself, Roddy Piper!

[estelle-skully]

Lunch Period

JUMPSCARES YOU WITH A LITTLE NIGHTMARES TWORD FIC HAHAHA

I think Im slipping back into my LN phase from two thousand fucking twenty two so you know what that means 😈

we got ourselves some lee!Mono ain’t that just peachy

Summary: This is based off the scene in LN 2 where Mono has to sneak past the bullies in the cafeteria while wearing a porcelain head to disguise himself, except these little shits decide that they want to pick on him for being not quite as rowdy as they are…

This was a very overwhelming moment for Mono.

The only other kid (who wasn’t evil) he had met was just taken away by a group of strange doll-like demon children, and now he was about to enter a room full of them.

Just a moment ago, Mono smashed the heads of three of them with a very heavy hammer. What if the others wondered where their friends were?

Then again, it didn’t seem like they were paying much attention to… anything. Seems like their only purpose is to break shit and be loud. That’s a little convenient. He took off his paper bag, stuffing it into an inner pocket of his jacket, and placed the one mostly-intact doll head onto his own head. It had a large crack through it that he could see through. That should be a good enough disguise. Surely, the porcelain kids wouldn’t notice that he isn’t in school uniform, right?

Taking a deep breath, he ducked under a table that separated the cafeteria from the kitchen and entered the din of the crowd. There were at least a hundred, but they were all doing their own thing, for the most part… dancing on tables, beating each other up, kicking things over… he should be able to just sneak past…

“Oof!” Mono stumbled to the side, having to steady his porcelain mask with his hand before it fell off, and looked to his left. One of the bullies had shoved him and was chuckling, pointing at him and staring at him with that terrifying permanent grin. But when it-or he? Whatever- didn’t walk away, Mono decided he needed to say something to seem like a legitimate student at this twisted school.

“Uhh… howdy howdy, rowdy rowdy, I’m here to cause some shenanigans!” He exclaimed, talking with his voice slightly higher pitched to sound more like the laughing and screaming kids around him. But when the kid in front of him stayed silent, and tilted their head to the side, Mono realized that he had sold the bag.

“Are you from this school?” The kid asked, it’s voice echoey and hollow sounding. “Somethin’ seems off about ya…”

“No, I go here! What are you talking about! I.. uhh.. I lost.. I-I mean, I burned my school uniform! Because, um. Y’know…” Mono trailed off because he had a feeling that the kid in front of him didn’t believe a word he was saying. “Whelp, uh, yeah! Gotta go break stuff! Bye!” He tried stepping around the kid but was blocked by two others, staring at him with similar plastered-on smiles and tilted heads. He stepped back but the kid from before pushed him forward. He gasped. One of them looked pretty identical to the first guy- the only difference was that he had a large crack that ran through one of his hollowed out, black, soulless eyes, while the other one’s face was almost perfect. The second one, on the other hand, looked more like a girl.

“You must be a new kid…” the first guy said, now slowly stepping toward him, which caused him to accidentally back into the other two. The more masculine looking one grabbed his arms, holding them behind his back, while the feminine one giggled. The porcelain mask slipped down a bit on his head, slightly obscuring his vision through the crack, but that was the least of his concerns right now. Were they about to beat him up, like how he had seen some others do to random kids? Maybe if he made a run for it when they least expected…

He jolted when the feminine bully poked his ribs.

“What’s your name, new kid?” She asked, leaning close.

“uhh…”

“My name is Bella. And this is my brother, Billy, and-“

“And my name is Pip.” The first bully interjected. Mono assumed that if these doll children were able to make any other facial expression besides a creepy grin, Pip and Bella would be shooting daggers at each other. While they were busy staring at each other, Mono tried jerking away, but Billy’s grip tightened. (He was at least thankful that they had forgotten about finding out his name.)

“Where do you thing you’re going, new kid?” He asked, his voice nearly identical to Pip’s. “Yeah, where do you think you’re going?” Bella sneered, poking him again, but this time on the belly. Mono couldn’t help but yelp, and he was thankful for the mask that hid the blush he could feel creeping onto his cheeks.

“Hehe, that was funny,” Bella said, now starting to poke and prod ad Mono’s torso repeatedly.

“A-ah! Wihill you s-stahap that?” He exclaimed, trying to squirm away again, but Billy was terrifyingly strong. “Pff- knohohock it ohoff!”

“This is fun!” Bella said, ignoring him.

“The new kid’s ticklish, huh?” Pip cooed in a teasing voice that Mono hated. “We can have fun with that…” He took one step closer, ignoring any protests from Mono, and shoved his hands under the poor boy’s arms, wiggling his fingers into his armpits. That broke him.

“NOHOHOHOHO!” Mono laughed out loud, attracting the attention of the nosy kids around him who stopped what they were doing to watch. Mono didn’t notice, though. He was too busy dying when Bella started squeezing his sides. Billy chuckled at Mono’s reactions to the tickling.

Mono thrashed wildly, and at this point Billy was actually struggling to keep him still.

“Hey, you know what, you’re actually chill, new kid.” Pip said. Bella nodded in agreement, moving her attack to Mono’s belly, which caused him to try to bend forward to protect the sensitive spot. She hummed while tickling him as if it was a casual thing.

“And the fact that you burned your uniform? Damn! Even I don’t have the courage for that! But wait till the teacher finds out… ohoho, you’re dead meat, new kid!” Pip continued yapping, now scribbling at the backs of Mono’s ribs.

It wasn’t very long after that (no more than 50 seconds) when they heard Mono’s laughter become more wheezy and exhausted sounding. That’s when they stopped. Didn’t want to kill him, after all.

“You okay?” Bella asked. Billy released him and he nearly collapsed to the floor, holding on to his porcelain disguise. He took a moment to regain his composure before nodding, and before they could say anything else, he scurried away through the crowd.

“Wait, what was his name?” Bella asked the other two. They both shrugged.

Meanwhile, Mono had made it out of the cafeteria safely, with all of his limbs still on his body and everything. He took off the porcelain head and dropped it to the floor. Then he kicked it away. He felt a great relief getting to wear his bag again.

As he continued through the school halls, he thought about how he had just gotten his shit wrecked. Honestly, if it wasn’t by terrifying glass doll children, he would have enjoyed it more. He hadn’t laughed like that in a long time.

And as he thought of how nice the feeling was, he also thought of someone he knew deserved to laugh too; Six. He hurried a little, now even more motivated than ever to find his missing friend.

🦾🦾🦾

Bazinga that’s it!!!!!!!!! I hope you liked the surprise

if I feel like it I might write a sequel to this who knows

[probably-impossible]

The thing about Rawhide is that sometimes it's really, really good, and sometimes they’re being haunted by druids.

[agardenofbasil]

https://x.com/barcauniversal/status/1834346246326419879?s=46&t=Y0Md76L8FR9umM1nmCkHnQ

now this is interesting

Haha, I was just talking about this with another friend. It seems like Unai is quite stoic and serious most of the time, but when he's drunk and celebrating...

After I started writing LFTS, I found this video of Unai sliding on the ground? During the Euro celebrations?? He also seems hilarious to interview while tipsy, and I wish I knew what he was saying here because he looks so giddy and silly.

And then of course, then there's this really silly video with David Raya which is just hysterical. And I think there's another video where he tries to open a beer with his teeth???

Long story short, my man contains multitudes, and I would absolutely love to be on the phone with a drunk Unai Simon. 🍃

[warhaeds]

ive been playing the sims with wash + his kids (and evie) and wash's daughter helena managed to romance a boy who in fact wears a paper bag over his head. but he is so cute. and asked to move in before they were even dating.

[lupismaris]

The most important thing to remember about this playlist is of course that they're all songs the characters can, have, and will dance/make out drunkenly to. Remember that. It's glorious.

[ratatatastic]

paul forcing cats to be mentors is hilarious but also ekky being paired with a swede... fork found in kitchen...

[adamwatchesmovies]

Road House (1989)

Road House makes you wonder what kind of yesmen director Rowdy Herrington surrounds himself with. A surefire way to make a film unintentionally funny is to take a mundane subject way too seriously. This film makes your average season of Yu-Gi-Oh! seem grounded in reality by comparison.

James Dalton (Patrick Swayze) is a professional “cooler”. He will enter even the rowdiest bar/club and de-escalate any fights that break out like no other man could. He's hired by Frank Tilghman (Kevin Tighe) to help transform the Double Deuce into a renowned, classy establishment. Unfortunately, the man with a mysterious past may be biting off more than he can chew.

With that setup, I bet you wouldn’t expect to see threats, vandalism, arson, murder and a monster truck destroy a building in broad daylight but Road House has all that and more. This movie is ridiculous with a capital R. The Double Deuce sees the kind of nightly brawls that would require it to replace every piece of furniture and glassware daily. They must sweep up at least 5 centimeters of glass, alcohol and blood off the floor every night before closing. It’s the grown-up version of Pleasure Island in Disney’s Pinocchio. People are breaking things, dancing on tables, pulling out weapons, throwing each other out of windows, etc. You wonder whether the Double Deuce’s lead singer (played by Jeff Healey) is blind because he got hit in the face while performing, or whether he performs at the Double Deuce because he can’t see what’s going on every night. Mad Max was more civilized than this Missouri club and that was set after World War III!

In this world of chaos walks James Dalton and his set of cool-dude rules that are sure to bring order to the asylum. First order of business? get rid of the problematic staff. I could’ve told you that one. If Mr. Tilghman had any sense he could’ve spotted the one doing drugs, having sex with ladies in the back, or skimming from the till from a mile away. Actually, if he had any sense, he would’ve just burned the place down and rebuilt it from scratch. No matter how much they clean the place, they can't expect the clientele to change overnight, can they? Surely all of the nightmarish patrons weren’t all brought over by the film’s main villain, moneybags Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara). Well, maybe they were actually. The man’s got nothing better to do than systematically ruin other people’s lives for the thrill of it. His character is so flat and badly written the biggest surprise is that he doesn’t turn out to be a rapist - which helps make this movie a lot more fun. He’s so evil you half expect him to get banished by a crucifix at the end.

Road House wants to be cool, wants to be adult so bad it’s one of the most juvenile pictures you’ll ever see. There’s so much nudity in the film and the sex is so gratuitous it’ll make you blush. The violence is equally over-the-top, with what has to be one of the greatest movie deaths ever coming out of nowhere - even though it was foreshadowed ahead of time. You thought what you heard was an exaggeration? Oh, you poor thing.

Road House is exactly the kind of movie you want when looking for something “so bad it’s good”. It has the bad acting, the ludicrous dialogue, the implausible plot, the I-can't-believe-they-just-said-that quotes. Best of all, it’s always moving. It may be bad but it is never, ever boring. This is one for the ages. I’m calling it a must-see if you like your laughs ironic. (April 7, 2022)

[milliondollarbaby87]

Road House (1989) Review

James Dalton is a bouncer who was hired to clean up one of the worst bars in a small Missouri town, what he didn’t realise was that trying to do this would see the villianious local entrepreneur Brad Wesley to rebel against it. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Continue reading Road House (1989) Review

[grandmoments]

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

[room4creation]

HIIII post ball my life was lowkey out of wack bc of how distrosous my room was but ive sorted it now it is 2am. Think I didn’t have a hangover today because I consumed basically a whole pack of salami at 4:30am. But back to the ball… SO FUN but I fear I have said too much this one guy… hopefully he just forgot everything interesting I told him and has focused completely on me therapising him abt the girl he likes from home 😭😭 god a lot happened last night but it was very very fun

[lemonlover1110]

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥

Sukuna

Pairing: Sukuna x f!Reader

Summary: Sukuna's twins are miniature versions of himself which can only mean one thing: they're two little demons.

Warnings: MDNI, family content, fluff(?), dad!Sukuna, smut, oral sex (m. receiving), titjob, nipple play

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Sukuna had to change a lot of things in his life when his twins came along. The man that never imagined he’d become a father, was lucky enough to knock up his girlfriend. Or wife, whatever he gets to call you now. One very unlucky lucky night he decided that protection was a stupid idea, but the universe got back at him to teach him a life lesson, and you ended up pregnant with two– Not one, but two babies. 

Sure, Sukuna loves his babies and all that shit which made it easier for him to change into a better person. He’s not a stellar parent or anything, and during the first year of their life he was struggling to figure it out but the job has gotten easier. He’d argue that the job is fun too, seeing the little shits form their own personalities or whatever is interesting. 

Though one could say that it’s only fun for Sukuna since the kids are turning out just like their father. For you, on the other hand, it is stressful. Having two children screaming just like their father isn’t exactly fun, not when you have to correct them. It was hilarious to watch Sukuna teach his nephew cuss words for the little guy to run around, yelling the atrocities (nearly giving his father a heart attack); it’s not fun when you’re in the mother’s shoes. 

“Fuck you-” “We don’t say that around here!” “Daddy says it!”

“Motherfucker!” “Watch your mouth!” “Daddy told me I can say it!”

It’s a never-ending correction in your home, and it doesn’t help that your husband doesn’t help you out. Sukuna kind of does his part by watching his mouth around the pair, but that’s not enough anymore. They’re almost six, it’s too late for them to unlearn certain words… or other behaviors. 

“Stop arguing you two!” You yell from the kitchen, hearing them bicker about something. They’re always arguing because one is mean to the other. Sukuna’s genes are too strong. Luckily for you, you were blessed with a girl and a boy so you don’t have to try again for another baby. You won’t have to repeat this.

“Ugly bastard!” Akane, your baby girl, yells. And you wish it was a moment where you got to think if you heard wrong because your baby girl would never say that, but she would. This one says it nearly daily.

“Akane, if I hear one more word out of you, girl! I swear–” You’re cut off by your husband, startling you as he hugs you from behind. He’s not listening, or well, he is and he doesn’t want you to correct the girl.

“Aren’t you just so proud of her?” He sounds elated, knowing his daughter sounds just like him. If only you could share that sentiment. You push him away and focus on finishing lunch for the little rascals. 

“My girl friends invited me out, and guess what? You’re taking over tonight.” You tell him, and Sukuna’s eyes widen. You’ve never made that threat before– Usually when you go out, you take them along or drop them off at someone else’s place because you doubt Sukuna can handle them. The longest they’ve been alone has been an hour.

“Someone will end up getting stabbed.” Is his answer, hoping that it’s enough to scare you into staying. Sukuna loves his babies, but he knows he can’t handle them. He made a grave mistake by molding them into mini versions of himself. Sukuna can’t control himself, how is he able to control two small Sukunas?

“And it’s probably going to be you if you don’t play your cards right. Good luck.” You answer, making it clear that you’re not staying home no matter what. You don’t acknowledge Sukuna as he begins to tell you the horrific sights that you might come home to. Sure, your kids are rowdy and a lot like their father but they won’t burn the house down… if you hide the matches.

“Akira! Akane! Come here!” You ignore him, calling your kids for their lunch. Sukuna sighs, rolling his eyes. 

They can’t be too bad…

“Hold his legs!” Akane yells to her brother while she pulls Sukuna’s hair. He doesn’t know what happened, he just fell asleep on the couch and woke up to his arms being restrained while one twin wipes something on his face. 

“What the fuck are you two doing?!” Sukuna raises his voice, rightfully so considering the position he’s in right now. He was warned, yet chose not to listen. Sukuna could kick the little shit that’s trying to tie him together but he won’t in fear that he might be too harsh and send the kid to the hospital. Oh, he hates them so much right now but any other time he’s willing to give up his life for them.

“We’re just playing.” Akira answers, and Sukuna could strangle one of the twins right at this moment– Too bad his hands are tied. How is this playing? Are they simulating a kidnapping or what?

“Untie me, now!” He orders, but his words go in one ear and out the other. He’s not mommy, he’s not uptight and lets them do whatever so this must be a joke.

“Quick, grab mommy’s makeup!” Akane yells, and Sukuna clenches his jaw. He’s trying to free himself, but they got him good. He needs to check what the kids are watching from now on because this is worrying for him.

“Akane, let me go before I get angry.” Sukuna threatens, but what can he possibly do when he’s tied up? 

“I got it!” Her twin comes into the living room with your makeup bag. Sukuna is squirming, trying his best to break free from his confinement but he can’t. Did they catch him while he was tying you up or what? No… He remembers locking the door. 

“If you two don’t let me free in this instant, I’ll make you pay!” Sukuna sounds intimidating, clearly angry at this little stunt. Unfortunately for him, they don’t take him seriously. They fear no one.

“You sound funny.” Akane laughs before pulling on his hair, which makes a cry escape his lips. Oh, he’d love this father thing if they were like you. This whole thing is getting annoying, but not only for him; the pair is getting tired of hearing their father cry and scream. “Akira, grab the tape, daddy is getting annoying.”

“What the fuck are you going to do?! I am your father, you two have to listen to me!” Sukuna is trying his best to break free before the twins tape his mouth and end up killing him. And by some miracle, just as they get their hands on the tape, the front door opens.

He prays that it’s you, ready to save him from the twins’ evil plan. It’s not you, but the next best thing. Sukuna doesn’t waste a second before yelling, “Jin! Stop them before they kill me!”

“What’s happening here?” His brother looks around confused. What did he just walk in on? He got a text from you to check in on his brother since Sukuna would be alone with the twins… and this happens. He sees his beloved nephew walk back with a roll of tape, and Jin picks him up from the ground. “What are you two doing to your dad?”

“They’re trying to kill me!” Sukuna yells, which the twins argue,

“We’re just playing!” Which makes a chuckle come from Jin. It isn’t funny– Well, maybe just a bit. It’s hilarious to see Sukuna get a taste of his own medicine.

“Now, you two, let your dad go.” Jin says, and at that moment they huff and puff. But they listen. He’s watching Sukuna’s expressions, and he stops the twins before they completely free him. “Stop. Go to your rooms.”

“What?! Don’t–” Before Sukuna can finish yelling, they’ve run away. They aren’t going to listen to him. Once they’re out of sight, Jin frees Sukuna and holds the man down, not trusting him enough to let him go.

“You’re not going to do anything to them, right?” Jin sounds as if he were Sukuna’s dad, which only pisses the man off more.

“The fuck am I going to do to them? I didn’t kick the little shit when he was tying my legs because I didn’t want to hurt him.” Sukuna makes a great point, but Jin wasn’t there to witness it. Right now he sees an angry man, and he wants to make sure Sukuna calms down before anything. “Why the hell are you here anyway?”

“Your wife called me to check up on you, and I came just in time.” Jin answers, sitting down beside Sukuna once he knows that his brother is calm enough. Sukuna wants to be mad at you for not trusting him enough to watch his own kids, but he also wants to thank you for saving him tonight. 

“Don’t tell her what you saw.” Sukuna quickly says. It’s more of a warning than a request. Sukuna takes a deep breath. He should be asking what the kids were going to do to him– It wasn’t going to be anything too bad, probably just put on some makeup on him or some other stupid trick. They knew he was going to say no if he asked, so they chose to tie him up. The thought isn’t too far fetched considering who their father is. What he’s thinking right now is,

“Why would they listen to you and not me?” Sukuna wonders, and Jin has an idea as to why. “I mean I’m terrifying, but you? You look like you catch jellyfish with a net and work at the Krusty Krab.”

“Ah, they’re into Spongebob now.” Jin can’t help but laugh. He won’t take the insults to heart since this has always been Sukuna. “I feel like they do find you scary, they just don’t think that you’ll do anything to them if they torment you.”

“What the fuck are you saying?” Sukuna isn’t in the mood for this. He can’t just wrap his head around this whole situation.

“You let them get away with a lot when it comes to you. You don’t let them get away with anything when it comes to their mother or other family.” Jin explains, which is valid reasoning but Sukuna rolls his eyes. That isn’t the answer he’s looking for, therefore he won’t accept it.

“Whatever you say. I’m going to check up on them before they flood the house.” Sukuna stands up from his seat, leaving his brother behind. The twins can’t be trusted for too long. 

Lo and behold, they found the matches. 

“You two came into my life as karma, huh?” Sukuna asks, before taking the matches from their grimy hands. “Akane, go annoy your uncle. Akira, you’re getting a bath and that’s final.”

“I thought you said I could bathe only once a week.” Akira points out the agreement they’ve had, but Sukuna has changed his mind. 

“I changed my mind when you and your sister did a kidnapping simulation with me. Plus, your mother says you stink and she doesn’t like you anymore so go to the tub.” Sukuna is not scared of making a little white lie to hurt his son’s feelings. It’s the least he could do.

“Mommy doesn’t what?” Akira’s eyes become watery, his bottom lip quivering at the thought of his mother not loving him anymore. Sukuna would feel a twinge of remorse any other night. 

“He’s lying, bubba.” Akane goes to his brother’s side to comfort him. She might be a little devil, but she has her soft spot. She hugs him tightly and Sukuna has to tear his eyes away from the sickly sweet scene. They won’t get to him. “You do stink but mommy loves you. She told us she loved us before leaving.”

“A lie she told you since she’s not coming back because you stink.” Sukuna isn’t going to stop, even when he hears his son cry. The boy pushes his sister away and runs to the bathroom to wash himself to make his mother come back. Hearing his own son cry is tough, but he’ll pat himself on the back later. 

“You’re next. Now go to your uncle, ask about Yuji or some shit.” Sukuna looks at his daughter, who is more resilient than her brother. She’s only five though, so he can find a way to get through to her with no issue. “Your birthday is coming up soon, huh? Guess I’ll–”

“I’m going!” She yells before Sukuna can finish his sentence, making a smirk come to his face. Smart girl.

He can handle them for the rest of the night, especially with Jin here.

When you come home, your little demons are sound asleep in their bedroom. You tuck them in, and admire the sight that you never see during the day. They almost look like they were sent straight from heaven. It’s a nice sight to come home too.

Your opinion changes when you enter your bedroom and find your husband throwing his clothes into a suitcase. You’ve noticed that over the past years he’s become increasingly dramatic. You let your presence be known as a chuckle escapes your lips, standing in the doorway.

“Is it because they tied you up?” You question, and a frown comes to his lips.

“I told Jin to not tell you. But yes.” He answers, and you step into the room. You shut the door behind you, locking the door just in case things escalate. “They don’t take me seriously, and I told you things wouldn’t go well if you left me alone with them but there you go, going out with your friends.”

“I can’t stay locked up forever taking care of them.” You respond, and he rolls his eyes.

“Leave them with Jin. They take him seriously.” Sukuna says, and you chuckle.

“Unpack your stuff, baby. Stop being so dramatic.” You tell him, heading over to the bathroom to get ready for bed. That’s not enough for him right now though. 

“I’m leaving and never coming back.” Sukuna sounds like a child, which is hilarious. Only those two can get that side out of him. He’ll continue no matter what you say, so you do the next best thing. You lift up your shirt, and his eyes widen for a moment before he tears them away.

“Your boobs aren’t going to work this time.” He claims, and you fix your shirt. He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth before sighing, “But they do help.”

“Come here, baby.” You walk over to him, wrapping your arms around him. Sukuna hugs you back, and he could sob (just for the dramatics).

“They’re so mean.” Sukuna’s head rests on your shoulder, as his hand travels under your shirt to squeeze your boob. “Can you make me feel better?”

“Can you–” You begin but before you can even finish, Sukuna pulls away and throws the suitcase on the ground. He’ll unpack later. You open your mouth to speak again but he grabs the back of your head and pulls you into a rough kiss. 

His tongue wanders around your mouth, his free hand going under your shirt once again. It’s an old trick, but every time you show him your breasts, he forgets anything and everything. You don’t do it when the matter is a serious issue, but you really can’t do much about the fact that your twins are straight from hell.

Sukuna sits down on the bed, lifting up your shirt, prompting you to take it off. Once it’s out of the way, his tongue licks up your body before giving your tits attention. He rolls his tongue around your nipple while his hand plays with the other one, pinching your nipple and squeezing your boob. You really get him, knowing the exact way to get him to calm down. He pulls away, and kisses between your breasts until he gets to the other tit. He switches to your other tit and entertains himself once again.

He’s having so much fun, his mouth preoccupied with you but there’s an uncomfortable sensation between his pants. He unlatches, looking up at you with lustful eyes. Your gaze falls on the tent in his pants, making you bite down your lip.

“Help me out.” He says, and you help him unbuckle out. You pull down his pants, freeing his cock from its confinement. You kneel down in front of him, a smirk on your lips. This is a great way to apologize.

You spit on his cock before your hand wraps around the base. You lower your head, tongue circling around the tip as your hand strokes his dick. You start off so painfully slow, too painful for Sukuna. You lower your head, taking as much of his dick as you can.

You slowly bob your head, hands wrapping around the park of his cock that is outside and stroking it for him. It’s like heaven for him, though he just wants to push your head down and force you to take all of his cock. You can take it like a good girl, right? He won’t take any risks tonight.

“You can take it all.” You lift your head, and Sukuna whines. You were barely even doing anything, why did you feel the need to stop? A spark appears on his eyes, a smirk coming to his face as you cup your tits. He judged too soon.

You put his cock between your chest, squeezing your cleavage together before moving it up and down his dick. Sukuna’s eyes nearly roll to the back of his head at the feeling of your tits squeezing around him. He grabs the back of your head, pulling back and telling you, “Open your fucking mouth.”

And without missing a beat, you obey, sticking your tongue out. He spits in your mouth, and you swallow immediately. This is the reason why you ended up with twins– You just do shit that makes him feel every inch of your body raw, a need. You’re so obedient and generous with him.

Your soft flesh between his cock is too much for him, and such a nice sight as he watches them jiggle. You should do this more often is all that he can think as your hands pick up speed. He’s rolling his hips, lightly moaning as his breath gets heavy. 

“Good job.” You hear, which tells you all that you need to know. He barely praises you unless he’s close.

“Cum for me, baby. Do it all over my tits.” You tell him, and he bites down his lips to not sound pathetic. Oh, he has to control himself tonight because you might end up with another child. He can’t have that. 

His hands grip the bed sheets as he finishes all over you. His cum covers your chest, all the way up to your neck. Your fingers swipes it, bringing it up to your lips simply for his entertainment, but he’s looking for something else in the nightstand.

He could die right now.

“Ran out of condoms, and I’m not risking anything.” He’s in so much pain as the words leave his lips, and you furrow your brows. Since when has this been an issue?

“You can pull out.” You remind him, but that isn’t cutting it for Sukuna.

“I said I’m not risking anything.” He couldn’t make it any clearer. Tonight was certainly… An experience to say the least.

“Can you at least eat me out?” You ask him, standing up from the ground. There’s no way you’re going unrewarded tonight.

“You have a vibrator, work it out.” He shrugs, and you glare at him. He’s pissed off with you again, leaving him with the twins was a horrible mistake on your part.

“You’re such a jerk.” You roll your eyes at him, and hearing him chuckle makes you want to hit him. You manage to restrain yourself, managing to mutter out a simple, “Fuck you.”

“Aw, they get it from you. How cute.” He says, which makes your palm lightly slap his forehead. “Hey! Maybe next time don’t leave me alone–”

“The vibrator is going to do a better job than you anyway.” You cut him off, going to the bathroom to clean yourself up… Getting all dirty and for what? 

“If you really want another pair, I’ll give them to you.” Sukuna stands up, following behind you to annoy you.

“Get a fucking vasectomy.” You respond, and you feel his arms wrap around you, stopping you from going any further. Of course he can’t leave you alone. “Sukuna, I’m going to shower.”

“I’ll help you.” 

[frudoo]

John Price with his chunky baby and spunky baby mama 🫶

Warnings: Spit-up, normal baby things!!

Fluff ahead 🤍

“Better stop kickin’ them legs, little lady,” John huffs, squishing the giggling infant’s round cheeks softly to make her lips pucker out.

Her incessant babbling and the playful growls that come from your husband’s mouth coax you into the nursery. As you lean against the doorframe, you have to stifle a laugh—there are about twenty used wipes scattered about the changing table, and the rowdy little babe is kicking off every fresh diaper John tries to put on her. Suddenly, her cute little coos and gummy smiles turn into tiny grunts and a concentrated face. Your eyes widen, trying to warn your husband.

“John, she’s about to-!”

“Bloody hell!” He groans, holding a diaper over his weapon of a baby’s bottom.

The laughs don’t cease this time, covering your mouth as your chest shakes with spiteful delight. You walk over to your grimacing husband, hugging him from behind and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He sighs in defeat, grabbing what seems like the thousandth wipe and starting the whole process over again.

“Think it’s funny, do ya?” John jokes, turning around momentarily to give you a playful glare.

“I think it’s hilarious, actually. She gets it from her dad,” you shrug, crossing your arms and cooing at your chunky baby.

“Ha, ha,” John mocks dismissively, giving his baby girl a stern look as he lifts her legs up yet again. She replies with a belly laugh, and his pursed lips turn upward into an amused grin as he slides the fresh diaper beneath her bottom.

“Got a pair o’lungs like her mum, though,” he smirks, fastening the sticky tabs to the front part of the nappy.

That earns him a soft smack to the back of his neck, making his shoulders dance with each chuckle he lets out. John zips up the pink camouflage onesie he’d put on her and lifts her into the air, pretending to groan like she’s the heaviest thing he could possibly lift. She babbles and stares down at him adoringly for a moment before staring off into space and chewing on her fist. He lowers her into his bent arms, cradling her and tapping her nose with the tip of his finger.

“Here, give her to me, I’ll go get her a teething ring,” you suggest, holding your arms out to your chubby little infant.

John laughs heartily as the sassy infant glances at you through her peripheral vision before returning her attention back to her old man. The heart-eyes she gives him make you pout, bottom lip quivering in mock offense.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I guess she just prefers her daddy,” he beams, lifting the baby up into the air once more, but making one crucial mistake—pressing his hands into her soft tummy.

You raise an eyebrow as John continues to brag and boast about the tiny human’s favoritism. He misses the way her squishy body jiggles with a silent burp. You don’t.

“Ain’t that right, lovebug? Daddy’s your very fav-” he stops mid-sentence when the waterfall of rancid milk spews out of the wriggly baby’s mouth and right into his own.

Wordlessly, you take your daughter (who seems rather proud of herself) into your arms and clean her up with a burp rag, leaving John open-mouthed and horrified in the middle of the nursery. You snicker as you kiss the noisy babe on her forehead, cooing to her proudly. With a final glance over your shoulder, you smile innocently at your husband with one last suggestion.

“Should probably brush your teeth before you come back downstairs.”

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

By Wednesday afternoon the whole of Hawkins High had exactly one piece of gossip on their minds.

You and Eddie Munson. Specifically you and Eddie Munson appearing hand in hand that morning, much to the shock and in Jason's case worst nightmare.

No one had to know that the little show you were putting on was fake...

It had been your idea to approach Eddie and casually bring up the subject of fake dating. Because why not piss off a mutual enemy? You knew Eddie couldn't stand Jason and vice versa.

Plus it might be the little bit of vengeance you had been waiting to exact on Jason for months now; ever since he had tried to get you to date him.

When you refused he took great delight in humiliating you. After months of bidding your time you figured out the perfect way to get back at the asshole.

Naturally Eddie was suspicious when you approached him. Not that you could blame him. It's not like the two of you ever interacted. You weren't super popular or anything but you were friends with Chrissy and Jackson.

So yeah, you totally understood why he was hesitant to talk but he quickly came round to your way of thinking.

"I like the way you think sweetheart and anything that pisses Carver off is good in my book. What are the rules though? Like kissing and shit like that?" you nod and count the rules.

"Kissing is okay, I mean it has to be believable. Holding hands, hugs. I swear he watches me like a creep all the time and since I turned him down he's been even more of an asshole, maybe if he thinks I'm seeing someone, especially his enemy he will leave me alone" Eddie frowns then his eyes light up with mischief.

"Well that's even more of an excuse to piss him off. I'm in sweetheart" the two of you shake hands and you smirk.

"Pleasure doing business with you Munson"

...

From the minute that the two of you started introducing your "relationship" to the world it caused an uproar in the high school gossip chain.

Jason as expected was fuming and Eddie found it hilarious. He made a show of fawning over you and calling you "milady", doing sweet gestures (kissing your hand and calling you princess was one of your favourites)

He was hilarious, snarky and sarcastic and you actually liked spending time with him.

Your first kiss with Eddie is meant to be something that's quick and done just to advance your "relationship" but the minute Eddie's lips met yours it was intense and passionate, honestly it blew your mind a little bit.

It's not like you didn't notice how handsome Eddie was. He was gorgeous. Even some of the girls who ridiculed him and called him a freak mentioned how hot he was. So it's not like you were blind to his charms. His goofy, overdramatic and passionate gestures never failed to hold your attention.

The two of you were having fun and yeah you liked spending time together but that's all it was. Or at least, that's what you kept telling yourself.

...

It was a rowdy lunch at Hellfire Club as usual, you were perched on Eddie's knee and listening to the chatter while ignoring Jason's glare in your direction.

Thankfully he seemed to be leaving you alone...at least for now. Who knew how long that would last? The current conversation takes your mind off Jason and you focus on that.

"Don't you two ever get mixed up sometimes? I mean the two of you get pretty close all day?" Gareth asks curiously. Eddie shrugs and you find yourself feeling sick with anticipation for his answer.

"It's just fake. It's not as if we have real feelings for each other or anything" Eddie waves off Gareth's concerns and something inside you breaks.

Of course that's how he felt. It was like a cold dose of reality and boy did it hurt. It was so easy to lose yourself in this, for the lines of fake and reality to blur.

Faking a smile you nod along and then bury your head in Eddie's chest, he probably thinks you're doing this to annoy Jason but it's so he doesn't see your tears.

You were so stupid for falling for Eddie when all of this didn't mean anything to him.

...

Yes I will be expanding on this if people want that 🥰❤️