#it’s prob been like 3/4 years now I’ve been smoking

[graevs666]

I rlly wanna be able to not smoke weed but I just dunno if I can honestly. Like I’ve been sober maybe for a week or two before last year and I felt happy w myself I went that long but I also was in England visiting my family so I didn’t have any left to smoke anyway

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Brother body part swap part 1:

My teen brother after finishing high school and going to the same college as me as a freshman, went though a major transformation inbetween summer break and starting college

In high school he had a lot of friends, more than I do now as a senior, and I never really herd him talk about sex or getting with anyone when he was in high school.

But whenever we’d go home after school and he’d have his friends over, they would always talk about how and who they were banging that week, my brother always had the most outlandish stories, talking about how how he’d use his big dick to fuck whatever brode it was in his story, all the moaning, and getting his face shoved into her boobs

I was kinda proud of him, I’ve only been with 3 girls myself, but what I was even more proud about was hearing how he had a big dick, I’ve seen my father’s one time on accident when I was a kid and was afraid that’s what I would peak at. luckily I’m probs 3 or 4 inches bigger than my old man. I was worried my brother didn’t get laid any in school cause he had my fathers dick size, but I guess I was wrong

I envied my brother benji , i always thought he was better looking than me, and I don’t know how he went from the popular class clown to one of the supposed fuck boi’s on campus in such a short time

His friends always thought it was a bit weird that benji would invite me to their smoke sesh and get High while they told their latest stories and I never seemed to have any

I typically would just zone out and watch the tv, as their stories would just become white noise to me while getting high

One day after his friends left, benji shortly came back and sat down next to me while I was zooted watching Rick and Morty, he was always better functioning while high, probs from smoking in high school too, so he had a couple years of experience, I only started smoking with him cause I was curious and didn’t have a connect myself…

Benji started talkin to me, and started asking some weird questions, but I tried not to pay any attention to them since I was so into my show

“Hey Christian, I have a question for you” he said trying not to seem needy for a answer

“Yuh” I said still staring at the tv

“Um how old were you when you first got laid” he said putting his hands together and leaning forward focusing on the tv with me

“17” I said

“And ummm… how big is your dick”

“Uh like 9 inches…. Um…. You?” I said Tilting my head a bit to look at him

“Um… 7, myself, why do you ask” he said seeming uneasy

“Bruh, chill, I don’t care, you asked first after all, what’s the problem bro, something wrong?” I said, turning back to the tv

“Um, I mean I guess, some girls I’ve been with kinda think I’m small” it was as if I could feel him sink into the couch after he said that

“Nah bro, your good, I mean your pretty good looking, no homo. And 7 inches isn’t small, bigger than average, she’s probs just a college slut, there’s always someone bigger. Now let’s just watch the rest of this, and finish the season haha” i said laughing and reaching over to give him a brotherly tapping on his chest

“You think I’m good looking? haha thanks bro. just one more question, what’s your body count, or like how often do you get laid” he said laughing seeming to return to his happy self

“Um like 2 or 3” I said

“2 or 3 girls or times” he said looking directly at me shocked

“Times bro, now shut up, we can talk about this later” i said annoyed now

Thankfully benji decided to shut up for while… but I did decide to knock on his door before we both went to bed, so we can get up early and drive to campus…

***knock knock knock***

“hey bro, you good?” I said looking at him sitting down on his bed biting his lip, hair dangling down looking at his phone.

“Ya Chris, I’m good…” benji said not really seeming like he was in a good place

“Aye you sure ben? You know I’m here for you right? You’re my favorite little brother you know?” I said smirking

“I’m your only little brother” he said seeming to cheer up a bit”

“Ya I know” I said still standing at his door frame

“May I come in?”

“Ya”

I stepped into his room, which was kinda a mess but I don’t really blame him, my room was kinda the same when I was his age

“So um about some of the things you were talking to me about earlier, what was that about?” I said taking a seat in one of Beni’s gaming chairs, swinging it around so I can look at him

“Um it was nothing… just, some girl problems…. You know what I mean?” He said looking kinda sad at me

“I mean ya, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my heart broken before but I’m not like you Brosif, it almost seems like you and your buddies have a game going on to see who can fuck the most girls or something haha.” I said trying to relate to him

“That’s the problem bro” he said tossing himself on his bed but still facing his head towards me so I can here him talk

“I can get with chicks no problem, but none of them seem to wanna date me for some reason, and the few I have dated, cheated on me with guys they said had bigger dicks, said I wasn’t enough for them” he said looking very distraught now clinching a pillow to his chest

I felt bad for my bro, it seems he’s really trying, but just can’t find the right girl, I know how it feels to hurt like that.

“Man, like I said earlier, they must just be sluts if that’s all they care about bro, don’t stress about it bro, I’m sure in a couple years you won’t think about any of them again” i said walking over and putting a hand on his shoulder

“ but I don’t wanna wait years, I wanna form a connection with someone that cares for me bro, it fucking sucks” benji said as I saw a tear slip out his closed eyes

“I’m sorry man, maybe I can try to hook you up with one of my exes bro, some of them have told me they thought you were the cute brother anyways haha, they might be interested, you always liked hanging out with me and my girlfriends right?”

“Ya” he said voice trying not to break

“Ok then, I’ll start work on it tomorrow, get a good night sleep bro” I said heading to the door”

“And um, benji, just know, your never lonely as long as you have family, your a good person, good night, love you bro” i said closing the door heading back to my room

Once back in my room I hopped on my instagram, and was scrolling though posts when I saw a post from benji’s fanstagram (fake instagram account) where he shared a link about some necklace that looked kinda cool but clearly wasn’t real (the material I mean, definitely didn’t look like real silver). I checked the comments and I guess it was suppose to be some magic prop from a show or something, came with warning labels and all, but what does a necklace need a warning label for? Ya know what I mean haha?

Anyways the necklace was SUPPOSEDLY enchanted by a witch, and the wearer could swap bodies parts with other people when he wore the necklace and put on the clothes of the person he wanted to swap with.

I thought it was weird but decided to go ahead and purchase it anyways for him, sometimes ya just need to get a gift for one of your family members, plus I mean his birthday was in a few days anyways, luckily the deliver date was a day before his birthday, talk about coming in clutch haha.

The next day came by and was kinda uneventful, for some reason I was just really excited to see benji’s face when I give him his gift

I did however was able to get one of my ex’s “Beth” to agree to go on a date with him, even better was it was gonna be on his birthday too, guess I got him 2 gifts haha, when I told him he seemed really excited telling me I’m the best brother anyone could ask for

Another day gos by uneventful, benji telling me about all the idea’s he has for his date, asking me questions like what I think she’d like… I told him, “just be you, maybe hang out for a bit, dinner if she gets hungry, perhaps take her to the lake and go for a swim” I said winking at him

“How am I gonna get there? It’s be kinda weird if you drove us, also kinda pathetic if she has to drive us” he said seeming like he was trying to hint at something

I rolled my eyes and tossed my keys at him “duh bro, you can borrow my car I guess while you go on your date, don’t fucking scratch it tho, you know mustangs aren’t cheap”

“Seriously bro? Your gonna let me drive the stang? What’s the catch, why are you being so nice all of a sudden” he said squinting his eyes at me

“No reason bro, it’s your birthday, that’s like 1 of the 2 days a year I legally have to be nice to you, what you don’t wanna drive it?” I said raising an eye at his question

“No!, No!, I do! It was just a question that’s all” he said back peddling

The rest of the night went as usual, play’ed some games, did homework, kept checking the mail all the way till 9 pm waiting for benji’s gift to come, it’d be ashame for it to arrive after his birthday, not really a birthday gift then is it?

The next morning I got dressed and ready to go to campus, benji was the first one out as usual and just waited in the car, but he did yell out the door that I had a package on the step

“This is it” I thought to myself “it arrived, good thing too, I’ll give it to him after school” my internal monologue continued as I ran down the stairs to grab it and ran back up to my room

I opened it up and saw the necklace in a plastic baggy, aslong with instructions…. “Who needs instructions for a necklace like seriously? How hard is it to put a necklace on haha”

It did look pretty cool, I decided to open it and try it on, my head was too big to just slide it over my head, so I had to unclasp it and clasp it again around my neck

Looking in the mirror on my dresser I decided it really did look good, and I should have gotten myself one too, that way we could match, but too late now I guess, could always check and see if they still have any later I suppose

For some strange reason I thought back to what the description said of the necklace, about how it could supposedly swap body parts by wearing other people’s cloths, and I know it’s dumb, but you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat.

I didn’t have any of benji’s spare clothes in my room, but he did leave a pair of his shoes in my room from hanging out with me a lot

I took mine off including socks since if there’s a chance this would work, socks would probs mess with it, cause you know, socks are actually touching you, shoes just touch your socks

I managed to fit my feet in benji’s smaller shoes, they weren’t that much smaller than mine, but with me wearing size 12’s and him wearing 10.5’s they were small enough that I had to curl my toes to fit in them

I stood up with disappointment as I took a few steps and still felt my feet curled up…. I decided to sit back down and take them off. But when I did I was met with toenails that looked like they haven’t been clipped in over a month, strange since I just clipped mine last week…

A spark of hope was reignited as I noticed they seemed a bit smaller too

I stuck my foot back into benji’s vans and was shocked that I didn’t have to curl them to fit now… maybe I just had them so tense the first time I couldn’t feel that I didn’t need to curl them anymore…

I decided maybe this could be another gift for benji? Maybe let him live as the older brother for a week or something? If that’s what he wants of course…

I knew we were gonna be late to class if I spent too much time fucking off, so I decided to rush to benji’s room kicking his shoes off and striping. I opened his closet and grabbed a shirt and pair of pants and threw them on. I saw a pair of dirty underwear on the ground but decided against it, I feel like that would be too weird having my brothers junk

After waiting with my eyes closed for half a minute I opened them and saw that I looked a bit shorter, I mean after all benji was 5’10 compared to my 6’ so not to much of a difference. I decided to take my shirt off just to make sure I’m not crazy and saw my new chest and immediately knew it worked, I use to have a treasure tail on my stomach but not anymore sense benji could never grow one, plus my arms looked a bit thicker, not fat or anything, benji was far from that, but more like it looked like he went to the gym… once a week haha… not to mention benji weighed maybe 5 or 10 pounds more than me dispute being a couple inches shorter, I could see he, er I guess, I now had the beginnings of a faint 4 pack, I mean I had abs myself but they were from how skinny I use to be.

Now the Only issue, is I still had my old face, and I know benji didn’t wear any hats so that was an issue

Truthfully I wasn’t sure this would even work, not because I don’t believe in magic, I mean the shoe part proved me wrong, but because a lot of his clothes are hand me downs from me, but I guess aslong as he’s worn them it works?

I went back though his closet and found a hoodie that I’ve seen him wear before, I decided to put it on and zip it up, I put the hood over my head and pulled the strings so it covered as much of my face as possible and waited

“Please work, please let this count as a head article” i said outloud waiting

Wasn’t that long till I felt something touching my eyes

I let go of the strings and pulled back the hood still facing the mirror

“Yes! It worked” I said seeing benji’s face and much longer hair than mine

I was shocked to hear his voice, it definitely wasn’t mine but didn’t sound exactly like benji ether,

“is this how benji sounds to himself” i said aloud making faces in the mirror trying to get use to this

“Well I guess they do say due to vibrations in the skull, people think their voice is actually deeper than it actually is” I thought to myself as I tied benji’s shoes on and ran back to my old room and grabbing my old pair of shoes

Even tho this is crazy, I’m still thoughtful and knew benji must be feeling the shoe swap, if he hasn’t already noticed the rest of the swap

I ran down stairs and passed my mum on the way out “benji, I thought you all left already” she said not even bothering to stop preparing breakfast for when dad wakes up

“Ya I just had to grab something real quick, bye love you mom” I said continuing my way out the door

I got outside and continued running to the drive way, I got close enough and could see myself passed out in the passenger seat. I got closer and opened the passenger side door, seeing benji simply took his shoes off and relaxed instead of questioning what was happening

I tossed my old shoes at him and tossed my pair of keys on the lap waking him up

“Your driving Christian” i said winking at him

“Bro, what the fuck, why am I looking at myself” benji said pulling down the sun visor to check the mirror

“Holy shit, I’m you Christian! How is this possible” he said feeling his face

I pulled the necklace out from being tuck under the hoodie and shook it

“Remember this necklace you wanted?” I said still dangling the necklace

“You got it? And it actually works? Holy shit bro, this is crazy” benji said reaching into his pants feeling around

“Aye bro I think you forgot underwear” he said looking up at me

“Nah, I just felt like it’d be too weird to swap that, now any ways get up, your driving.” I said trying to get into the passenger side

Benji got in the driver seat and started it up, waiting 30 seconds for the engine to warm up before sticking it into drive

“So um, how long does this last? Or how long are we gonna stay swapped” benji said keeping his eyes on the road

“Oh I don’t know, there was a instructions manual but I didn’t think we’d need that, so As long as you want bro, aslong as it’s within reason, so could be for a day, could be for a week or 2, but I’m definitely not doing a whole month haha… you can consider this a 3rd birthday gift I guess”

“Jeez thanks bro, but um, you do remember I have a date tonight right?” He said a bit annoyed at the timing of the swap

“Well, I mean we can always swap back after class. Or…. We could stay like this and I could go on your date for you maybe? That way I can do everything possible to make sure she wants a 2nd date and continue seeing you, ya know since you always seem to fuck shit up haha” i said laughing

“Not funny dude, but ya I guess maybe it would be a good idea for you to go as me, you’d know what she would like, and could probs seal the deal with getting her to date me” benji said pulling off the road into campus to park

“Sounds like a deal then” I said reaching over to shake his hand

“Deal” he said

After benji turned the car off and we got out I decided to make a joke about the situation before I headed to his class’s

“Have a good day Christian” i said putting emphasis on the name

“You too benji” he said doing the same

I went to benji’s classes and tried doing my best impression of him, especially sense one of benji’s friends that we typically smoke with decided to come sit by me

I decided to talk with him and boast about how I got a hot date with Christian’s ex “Beth” to which benji’s friend just absolutely lost it

“You got a date with Beth? Dude that’s insane, I always thought she was your brothers hottest ex, you tots gotta get pics and share them with me bro” he said dabbing me up

“I don’t know bro, I might just keep them all for myself dude haha” I told him smirking

The rest of the day went as usual, or as usual as I can imagine for a day as benji. My date with Beth wasn’t for another 2 hours but I was still gonna prepare and go though my brothers closet to find the right outfit for this.

The time came and I went to grab my keys from benji, since he still had them on him personally.

I did everything I thought Beth would like, and it worked, took her for a early dinner, then a movie, and after wards she still wanted to hang out. I proposed going for a swim down by the lake which she seemed down for. We drove back to her house first since it was closer and she needed to pick up one of her bikinis and then headed back to my place since I would also need to get a pair of swimming trunks or shorts to swim in.

I went up to my room and saw benji sitting there playing one of my games, he paused it when he herd me come in

“How’d he go, does she still wanna go out” he said turning around seeming nervous

“Oh ya bro, it’s still not over, I’m just here to grab some shorts cause she wants to go down to the lake and go for a swim before it gets real dark… do you think it’d be wrong of me if I tried to fuck her on the first date? ” i said grabbing a bag and putting a pair of my black shorts in there and some towels

“Nah bro, I mean it does sound like something I’d do, so she might be expecting it” benji said smiling at me

Before heading out I left my bag next to benji as I went to take a piss, I could hear him leave the room and come back in a short amount of time. I came out the bathroom and saw him stuffing something into the bag

“What’s that” I said walking closer to grab my bag”

“Uh just some condoms, can’t be too safe right bro” he said stepping back seeming a bit weird, like I caught him doing something he shouldn’t

“Uh ya thanks bro, stopping at a store to buy some might have been weird if she knew I was planning to do this haha” i said laughing grabbing the bag and heading out

It was only a short drive to the lake, I parked and we got out together but decided to separate for a bit to change out of our clothes.

I got behind a tree and opened my bag, I couldn’t seem to find my shorts, I pulled out my phone and turned the flashlight on, pulling the towels out and found something I wasn’t expecting, my shorts weren’t in there but a pair of of benji’s orange, white and black striped swimming trunks.

“God damit benji, I told you I didn’t wanna swap dicks, that’s fucking weird, but I guess I have no choice now” I thought to myself as I kicked my jeans off and slide his swimming shorts on

I started headed to the lake but realized something felt off, my dick didn’t want to sit as usual, which I guess is understandable sense I’m not use to having my brothers dick. I decided to check the damage out and pulled my shorts down a bit grabbing my smaller soft cock

“Fuck bro I’m like 5 inches soft, but benji is like 3.5 soft, at best, I kinda wanna say closer to 3… he just must be a grower” I thought to myself as I herd Beth yell “hurry up benji, I’m waiting for you”

I could see Beth in the water, I got in to get closer to her but once I was waist high in, I saw she just undone the top half of her bra letting it float towards me “ops” she said giggling covering her mouth

After seeing that I hurried up and proceeded to go deeper into the water till I reached her. “Oh my god, your so gorgeous in this light” i said as I went in for a kiss

Beth allowed it and got close enough to wrap her arms around me and kiss me back “funny, your brother once used the same line on me, but to be honest, I always thought you were the cuter one” she said inbetween making out with

“Haha, thanks I get that a lot” I said feeling my dick starting to grow. It must have touched her legs as we were kicking to stay afloat cause she knew where I wanted to go next “should we take this to the shore” she said guiding me to it anyways

“You know what you’re doing?” She said sliding the bottom half of her bikini down exposing herself to me

“Ya, I just hope your ready for this, I’m almost as big as Christian haha” i said pulling my pants down just to have to bite my pride with shock mixed in

Benji had lied to me about his size, he wasn’t 7 inches, no where near, I looked down was greated by my new 5 inches of glory

I could see Beth’s facial expression change a bit as she covered her mouth

Before she could laugh or say anything I decided to just stick it in

Truthfully I could see why a lot of girls passed on benji, I bet over half the campus is bigger than Ben, not to mention it was mere minutes and I was ready to blow

This is kinda embarrassing as fuck, I don’t want benji to remember me as the one that fucked up his date and chance of a long term relationship cause I couldn’t hold it on

I tried my best to remember where her g-spot was and eventually I found it, but I just couldn’t seem to hit it all the way, I simply didn’t have the length anymore, I was able to get quite a few moans out of her when I would get far enough in to graze her spot, but I’m not quite sure if it was because I was reaching it, or if they were moans out of sympathy trying to keep my ego in check

Another couple minutes go by and she starts pulling my body closer trying to get me as close and as far as she could get me inside of her, she was moaning telling me not to stop, and I tried not, if I could have lasted another 15 seconds, I might have gotten her to cum first or as the same time as me, but I couldn’t, I herd a metallic click from around my neck just as I started to cum and lose my rhythm right before I got her to finish.

“Fuck I said” panting pulling out and laying next to her “ I know I almost had you finish, I just barely beat you to the punch, I’m so sorry, not very gentleman like of me to not let you cum first haha” I said laughing trying to defuse the situation

“Well, you certainly don’t last as long as your brother, nor are you anywhere near as big, but I guess you did the best with what you had to work with, your lucky your cute you know, or else I might consider this a one night stand” she said laying there with her eyes closed for a few moments

“Ok, well, let’s get you home I suppose” i said getting up and offering her a hand up

I dropped her off walking her to her door, able to steal a good night kiss before separating for the night

I drove back home in a fury, benji almost fucked this up and he wasn’t even the one on the date!

I rushed up the stairs once I got home and went straight to my room, I opened the door ready to yell at benji but was left silent after being caught off guard. When I opened the door, I saw benji in my body, panting looking down at himself, no pants on, underwear halfway pulled down and cum falling off my big dick

“You didn’t!” I said loudly surprising him

“Uh uh uh, Christian, this isn’t what it looks like” he said panicking

“Really? Cause it looks like you swapped my shorts out for yours, I come back after my date almost exploding when I told her I’m almost as big as my brother, which was a let down for her when she saw that I’m only 5 inches hard! And walked in right as you finished jerking off in my body!” I said angrily

“Uh uh, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself, I noticed my dick didn’t feel right, so I checked it out, and then I got hard from looking at it, and I just couldn’t help myself” benji said back tracking

“What ever dude, your lucky Beth still wants to go out with you, we’re fucking done with this swap, get out” i said grabbing some of my clothes and a spare beanie off the ground

“I thought you said we could stay swapped for atleast a week!?” Benji said defensively moving to the door

“Ya well you forfeited that when you took my shorts and swapped them with your own, I told you I didn’t want to swap junks with you, who wants a smaller dick? Not to mention balls. I didn’t wanna lose 2 inches and instead you forced me to lose 4. Now get out!” I said slamming the door on him

I kicked my shoes off stripped naked putting on all my old clothes, and layed on my bed waiting a couple minutes to swap back before I got up

I opened my eyes and looked at the mirror positioned so that I can see myself on my bed. I was surprised to still be greated by benji’s shit eating face

“What the fuck” I said outloud heading to benji’s room to get him to put the necklace on and swap us back

I walked in and he acted shocked to still see me as him

“Did you change your mind” he said smirking

“No as you can see I’m wearing my old clothes but nothing happened” i said trying to unclasp the necklace to give it to him but failing. “Now help me get this necklace off”

Benji came over and tried unclasping to no prevail.

Benji laughed and said “hold on” as he yanked the necklace making the clasp break so the necklace would come undone

Benji made a big ole show about picking up some of his clothes and putting them on before loosely tangling the necklace so it was kinda tied around his neck “did you ever read the instructions” he said trying not to smile but failing

“No, what could be so important about stupid instructions for a necklace” i said

“A magic necklace, and well, in the instructions it says that part of the magic is if you desire to keep the parts you have, all you have to do is cum, ether jerk off, sex, whatever gets you to blow” he said looking at me with a full blown shit eating grin

“And well, you already had sex with Beth in my body right?”

“Ya” I said slowly realizing what this ment

“And I already jerked off right before you got back. Which means nothing is probably gonna happen” he said

We waited there for a solid two minutes before I finally broke

“So you knew if you jerked off we wouldn’t be able to swap back? What the fuck is wrong with you dude, now we’re stuck like this! We gotta find a way to swap back, I don’t wanna be known as the small dick little brother” I said tears starting to form in my eyes

“Let me reiterate something you said to me not to long ago, “”who wants a smaller dick”” well not me, when I saw you weren’t actually bullshitting about having a 9inch dick, I decided I don’t actually mind having your body, knowing you’d probably try and bang your ex in my body, I decided to seize the opportunity and jerk off in yours so I can keep this” benji said putting his hand in his pants

“So if I was you, id get use to being the little brother in more than 1 way benji, cause luckily for me, this is permanent now haha” my brother said laughing to me, putting emphasis on his name.

[ronwae]

childhood au

so i'll try to reconstruct what Ralphies life as a kid was

a few facts from the game that we know:

* is younger than Nicky ( if Nicky is about 28/27 i imagine Ralph to be about 25/24 ) meaning that if Nicky immigrated w his relatives as a young child Ralph was probably already born in the US.( this could be the reason why in ch.1 he talks about being a real newyorker and makes fun of mc about it)

* Was abused (probably for the entirety of his childhood) by his alcoholic mother

* His father left him ( he says :" he went to get a pack pf smokes one day and never came back" this gives me the feeling that he would be at least 5/6+ years when that happened.

* Got into street fights and probably lost since once again he says " beat me up as bad as the boys" meaning that he was THE VICTIM HELLOO??

* there is also a small dialogue in ch.1 where it's mentioned that he always skipped school and probs stopped going there pretty early

* it's obvious that he lived in some gutter idk how to rephrase this

* was always close to nicky from the early childhood " we were the closest"

* one memory that Nicky narrates to us is making paper boats for Ralph and letting them sail on rainy days

* in spite of this we are told that Nicky never showed Ralph much affection, for example when Nicky is being sweet to mc he replies with "i've never seen him act like this"

* and in another line he says " i don't need nobody to stick their neck out for me" so yeah, he's been left alone and neglected for a while

Actual Childhood

i will compare Ralph with Nicky throughout this whole text and make a point about being very different.

1. His relationship with his mother

As long as Nicky had part of a more loving(normal) mom, Ralph clearly was less lucky. Literally being on his own with an alcoholic. Which resulted in him feeling unloved and running from home and getting into gang stuff. By always being belittled and beat by his parent, this usually results with the person later in life having big problems with aggression, this explaining why he likes being a criminal and jokes about others dying( this being a possibility to release all that anger from his childhood).

At the same time another prominent characteristic of his is the thing where he always does what he's told. We see this when he says that "Nicky taught him this and that" and also in that scene where he & Floyd sign documents. And there Ralph was right about not wanting to sign the deed to the speakeasy, but under Floyds pressure he literally breaks in less than a second. I explained this behaviour not by being simply " weak of spirit" or simply a loser, but the desire for approval, recognition and literally being patted on the shoulder for doing good. Since he's never been shown any kind of affection, he desperately tries to subconsciously earn it.

I think i should also add that by Freud( hate on me but this guy made a few good points) a mans relationship with his partner corelates with his relationship with his mother ( vice versa for women), so it makes sense why Nicky - with a loving mom found his soulmate, and Ralph didn't. ( i assume that he never had a long term relationship ). ( this is my personal theory)

2. His relationship with his dad

none🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥

3. His relationship with Nicky

now this one is just a continuation of point 1.

I've always felt some part of jealousy for Nicky. Maybe he got into crime because he always wanted to be like Nicky and even talked about living in Nicky's mansion after he takes his role. Im sure that he love's Nicky and feels bad for betraying him, but i understand why he'd do that. Maybe he tried to subconsciously prove to himself that he can make his own decisions but that turned out... well... bad.

But i imagine them both having a really good relationship, good un their own way.

And that point where they both mentioned that Nicky tried to prevent Ralph from joining the mafia, if i put myself in his shoes i would take that not as a way to keep me safe but a way to keep me from succeeding or always remaining in Nicky's shadow.

okay now for the actual actual childhood headcanons

* I feel like Ralph would be actually a pretty smart child. Besides being curious i feel that he'd say smart,correct and deep thoughts and not even realise that.

* He'd still have problems spelling and understanding basic math:/

* lived admiring rich people on the covers of magazines or in the movies

* was pretty much of a loner as a child and didn't have many friend except Nicky

* while Nicky was the lively, active and charismatic one, Ralphie would be the quiet kid until 12/13 yrs

* that meaning that he would usually be made fun of or beaten by older kids

* i don't think he'd fight back much, not with bare hands at least

* in general i think he'd despise actual fights, more of a gun/knife guy

* disliked Nicky's dog, or any four legged animal ( doesn't hate them but doesn't love either)

* birds on the other hand

* they always gave him hope and the desire to just be free and escape his home and everyone he knew. the same with sailing, loved the idea of just leaving alone into the open ocean

* irrational fear of death

* if there is a living creature that he loves more that birds it would be butterflies

* but no one knows that since he's embarrassed to admit it

* would create many problems as a child

* starting with the basic running from school up to setting someones hair on fire with a lighter

* mentioning the lighter, tried smoking at about 14 but nearly choked to death because of his asthma

* and because of asthma i think there would be multiple times where he almost died

* as a kid probably lived near a garage and spent most of his free time watching men repairing cars

* car obsession phase

* even started drawing them at some point and got pretty good at mechanical drawings

* dreamed of becoming a racer

* once told that to a girl he liked in like grade 4 and almost died of pride when she applauded him for his ambitions

* and his ambitions were always high

* the second he'd see or hear about something grand or fancy he'd add it to his mental list of wishes

* made friends with some local old guy who was very sarcastic and nihilistic and literally based his personality on that

* would have to get around life on his own and by that i mean that he sew his own clothes, made his own food, when he got lost -spent hours walking around new york until he found his street without asking anyone for directions

* at some point picked up smoking because even though at first it was death threatening

* at about 16/17 totally found himself in the "wiseguy" persona and at this point there wasn't a returning point

* had a couple of girlfriends but dated them for a month at best

YES I LIKE PSYCHOLOGY YES I WANT TO BECOME A PSYCHIATRIST AND I LOVE CHARACTER ANALYSIS

[queenie-the-writer]

rating the first lines of my wips

credit to @calliopewritess for this post idea!!

today, we will be diving into queenie’s past writing endeavours, all of which have been abandoned and i will prob never pick up again lol. feel free to cringe at the innocence of my six-year-old self with me—i literally died reliving these stories for y’all. don’t bother stealing any of these bc none of them are worth it hah. enough foreword let’s just get into it!!

“Once, there was a little girl who lived on a small street with her grandmother.” - 2/10

this is from the first ever “book” i tried to write. i won’t go into heavy detail but it was basically a plagiarized version of The Ice Queen as a child does. we’ve all heard this story before and it’s def not a great hooker lmao.

“Lightning was practicing her flying on her own.” - 4/10

this one just hurts me. i started this wip when i was eight i think (my dragon era) and yeah it was abt dragons and based off a make believe rpg i played with friends at school. i lost the most developed copy of the document but i have chapters 1-3 still. this wip definitely has a place in my heart as one of my proudest accomplishments but it also makes me rlly upset sometimes.

“Alpha was a normal girl until the day her grandma died.” - 6/10

I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THIS STORY WAS ABT. a bit of a banger of a first sentence tho. a lot of my wips featured a girl mc with a special relationship with her grandma and i don’t know why

“It’s my twelfth time at the library in the last three months.” - 5/10

the bookish vibes this gives off >>> i’ve considered sharing this short story i wrote in grade 8 for english class with you guys. i might still but idk not my best writing

“I have been hiding for 7 days.” - 9/10

backstory: grade 9 english teacher gave us like fifteen minutes to write a historical fiction excerpt. i chose the holocaust and to this day i am incredibly proud of this piece, even if it’s only 295 words and it doesn’t have a proper ending or anything. my teacher was so impressed that she read it to the entire class and i was so stunned and elated definitely one of my best memories from grade 9!

“Posture. Manners. Smile.” - 6.5/10

this is from the first wip i thought to take seriously, just before i started writing LoB. it’s dusty and abandoned now but it was good while it lasted. it taught me a lot about my writing style and plots and things like that which i’m grateful for :)

“She watched him waiting for her, leaning against her locker.” - 7/10

again, not my best hook lmao. but i mean, if this has you intrigued, you can read this short story on my wattpad page! link in bio <3

“Gianna Ravyn was sitting with her coven around their fire when the alarm sounded.” - 9/10

now onto my current wips! from the prologue of the first LoB book—it could definitely be stronger but i’m not mad at it. i’m also just like obsessed with my prologues so

“Darien Bernthal had always been punctual, never once letting a minute of his life pass him by. But when it mattered most, he was too late.” - 10/10

THE INTRIGUE. THE PAIN. THE CHARACTER. prologue of second LoB book—THIS IS WHERE ITS AT OMG.

“They say the world started in smoke. And that it would end in it, too.” - 12/10

i’m just going to leave this here without comment to torture y’all.

[forgive-me-your-highness]

Your highness demands questions to be answered.

This fool would love to appease Her Majesty

1. You just opened up a web browser. What is the first site you visit?

First thing that opens for me is Ao3

2. You just walked into a bookstore. What section do you go to first?

Sci-fi

3. You are hanging with your closest friends. What are you most likely doing?

This!

4. You just turned your car on. What station is the radio tuned to?

80’s on 8 LMAO

5. You have just woken up for the morning. What is the first things you do?

I go back to sleep

6. Complete this phrase: You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy____.

Shiny gloves

7. What would you do if you woke up as the opposite gender?

I’d text my friends that I have big dick energy

8. Are you more likely to cook for yourself or buy food from a restaurant?

Cook for myself

9. If you had to lose one of your senses, which one would you rather lose?

Smell

10. If you could relive any one year of your life, how old would you be?

I’d go back to 7 or something

11. Would you take a bullet for anyone you know?

Many people

12. Would you rather be rich and dumb or poor and extremely intelligent?

Extremely intelligent

13. What TV character do you most relate to?

I watch a solid 1 show right now and as a fellow nd I relate to Dr. Shaun Murphy

14. You just walked into a supermarket. What section do you first go to?

Dairy

15. Is sex before marriage wrong?

FUCK NO, like buddy there’s worse things to worry about than where someone sticks their dick before they sign a paper

16. You just won the lottery. What is the first thing you do with your winnings?

Depending on how much I’ve won, help out my mom

17. If your best friend admitted that they have a crush on you, how would you react?

I’d be over the moon

18. Will the USA ever have a female president?

I just want to drink my hot cocoa in peace…

19. You are carpooling with your friends. Are you more likely to be the driver or a passenger?

Hands down a passenger. I sleep through any drive

20. How short is too short for skirts and dresses?

If you, the person wearing it, are uncomfortable with the length then it’s too short. If you like it then fuck yeah rock that skirt!

21. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, without any consequences, what food would you choose?

Shit man probably chicken noodle soup

22. It’s Saturday night. What are you most likely doing?

Either relaxing with Lulls or sending her some fun ideas

23. You go on a blind date. Your date is extremely beautiful and physically captivating, but you hate their personality. Would you want a second date?

No thank you, if we don’t get along then I’ll respectfully turn them down

24. How strict should gun laws be?

If it means I don’t get shot while studying then I’ll praise the goddess

25. Would you rather be the worst player on the best team or the best player on the worst team?

So long as we’re having fun I don’t mind

26. How well do you work with others?

Depends on who I’m working with

27. You have the ability to cure only one fatal disease and eradicate it forever. What disease do you choose?

If cancer isn’t a disease then I just made myself a fool

28. If you could go back to college and choose a different degree to study, would you?

I’m good with not thinking of that

29. Where do you see yourself ten years from now?

I hope I’m not dead

30. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

Sir this is a Wendy’s

31. Would you attend a same sex wedding if invited?

HELL FUCKING YEAH I WOULD AND IT’D BE MINE (or some close friends!)

32. So far, what has been the greatest day of your life?

I’m saving the best day of my life for the future

33. Has anyone you know ever been arrested?

Yup

34. If it could be one season year-round, what season do would you want it to be?

Winter

35. What is your biggest regret in life?

Didn’t get to say goodbye to a friend

36. If you could bring one celebrity back from the dead, who would it be?

Robin Williams

37. What offends you the most?

I’m pretty hard to offend (Skyward Sword is a bad game, it was a GOOD GAME OKAY?)

38. Would you rather have an ugly hairstyle or be bald?

Ugly hairstyle because that’s mine everyday

39. At what age did you have your first alcoholic beverage?

3 (don’t @ me I know, bad parents)

40. What do you think happens to us when we die?

Don’t make my religious crisis worse

41. What do you think is the best way to quit smoking?

This just unlocked memories I forgot about

42. If you could take home any one animal from the zoo, which animal would you choose?

FISH, any kind

43. We’re humans created or did we evolve from earlier species?

Prob evolved

44. What scares you the most?

The list goes onnnn

45. What personality trait turns you off the most?

Lack of boundaries

46. You got offered a job to do something you hate, but the pay will make you rich. Do you take it?

If it means being able to live comfortably then yes

47. If today you only had what you were thankful for yesterday, how much would you have?

Fireworks

48. How often do you get mad or upset at yourself?

More often then I should

49. If you could choose one celebrity to be your parent, who would you choose?

I don’t even know any

50. If you could only listen to one musical artist for the rest of you life, who would you be listening to?

Ah a tie between Unlike Pluto and MISSIO

51. Have you ever used you cell phone while driving?

I’ve seen it go wrong so that’s a hard no

52. Had anyone you were close to die way too young?

Sir this is a WENDY’S (ex boyfriend)

53. Is world peace possible?

God I wish

54. You go on a blind date. You date is extremely ugly and physically appalling, but you are madly in love with their personality. Would you want a second date?

Oh my god if we get along then hell fucking yes

55. How did you discover that Santa Claus isn’t real?

Aged out of it lmao

56. Do you believe in God, or some form of higher deity?

Please I beg of you I can’t answer this

57. If you could save someone you deeply cared about, but it meant breaking a law, would you do it?

Will do

58. What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done for money?

25 year old wanted to date me and he still buys me video games :/

59. If you were to make a YouTube video about what you know most about, what would the subject be?

Either LoZ or Service Animals

60. What do you think is your greatest personality flaw?

Oh damn where do I start?

61. If your friends spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, would you still want them as friend?

Considering it’d be rambling then sure

62. Have you ever “woke up like this”?

You guys wake up?

63. You got offered a job to do something you love, but the pay is one of the worst out there. Do you take it?

HELL FUCKING YEAH

64. What do you think is your best physical feature?

I have nice tits lmao

65. What do you think is your worst physical feature.

I’m too soft :(

66. Do you know anyone who has committed suicide?

Mm ex

67. What is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone you don’t know?

I helped a lady find her camping spot, and when I realized it wasn’t safe for her I let her stay at my camping spot with me. She was very nice and had lots of good stories to tell

68. Have you ever had a night’s dream come true?

Sort of? I heard a voice and the next day someone said it word for word and it shook me hard

69. How would you reject a date offer from someone you didn’t like?

Done it many times and I try to respectfully turn them down

70. Which do you think is worse: Failure, or never trying at all?

Failure :/

[velveteenhamlet]

I posted 175 times in 2021

6 posts created (3%)

169 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 28.2 posts.

I added 103 tags in 2021

#bbc ghosts - 34 posts

#dragon age - 13 posts

#word of honor - 11 posts

#shan he ling - 10 posts

#the mandalorian - 7 posts

#patcap - 7 posts

#bbc ghosts spoilers - 6 posts

#star wars - 6 posts

#star trek - 5 posts

#pirates of the caribbean - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#as in there may be worse things coming (and so the veil being down is necessary for their defeat

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Ghosts’ “The Bone Plot” theories

I think the ghost involved in the assassination plot is definitely Humphrey.

I think it’s more likely he was involved in a plot to assassinate a royal figure, rather than being the figure of assassination himself.

He may have not realized how involved he was - perhaps his house (Button House) was used for meetings but he himself had no idea. Could his French Catholic wife have been involved in the plot? If so, could it have been pro-Catholic sentiment, pro-Mary I and anti-Elizabeth I or anti-Edward VI, a wish to return to a Catholic England? What became of the other plotters?

Was Humphrey being implicated, and perhaps the only one executed part of the plan in case the conspirators were caught? I can’t really see Humphrey willingly wanting to assassinate a monarch, but he does like being included... peer pressure perhaps?

The real house the show is filmed in, West Horsley Place, has an interesting connection to the famous Sir Walter Raleigh, who was executed in 1618 for his role in the “Main Plot”, an alleged plot to remove King James I from the throne. Sir Waler’s head was embalmed and given to his wife which she supposedly kept in a bag. West Horsley Place was owned by Sir Walter’s third son and a bag from that time period (but prob not the actual one from the legend) was found a few years ago at West Horsley Place.

So, although the time period is off by probably 50 years or so, I wouldn’t be surprised if Sir Walter Raleigh’s story was an inspiration for this episode. Perhaps Humphrey’s skull will be found in a bag? Maybe his body is in a local church but the head was left forgotten at Button House?

(I think the reason he’s fully dressed with a ruff may not mean it wasn’t a fully planned execution - it may have just been a costume design choice. Way more interesting to see Humphrey in full 16th century garb than in 16th century underclothes.)

Perhaps the documentary will reveal that Humphrey was innocent after all...

17 notes • Posted 2021-07-29 02:15:57 GMT

#4

Just a little [PatCap?] observation from Ghosts season 3 episode 3, “The Woodworm Men”:

When the Captain mentions “horseplay in the lake” we get a particular little nod from Pat as well...

31 notes • Posted 2021-08-12 13:01:45 GMT

#3

One more bit of over-analysis on this promo image - perhaps the smoke behind the Captain is specifically the “Fog of War”?

From wikipedia: “The first known use of the exact phrase in text dates to 1896 in a book titled The Fog of War by Sir Lonsdale Augustus Hale, where it is described as ‘the state of ignorance in which commanders frequently find themselves as regards the real strength and position, not only of their foes, but also of their friends.’”

(Is it a stretch to add that the space behind him also looks like one of the long halls at Button House?)

36 notes • Posted 2021-07-27 13:00:54 GMT

#2

Parallel between the way Thomas and Kitty are looking at Alison and the way Pat is looking at the Captain? Hmm..

89 notes • Posted 2021-07-23 19:15:11 GMT

#1

Button House in Sims 4

I’ve been working on a build of Button House in the Sims 4 for several months now, and I’m finally happy enough with it to post it to the Sims gallery! I’ve been pouring over screenshots to get everything as accurate as the Sims will allow me. Some rooms doubled-up as other rooms in filming (Fanny’s bedroom, the tv room) or the rooms aren’t where they’re implied to be. The tv room is implied to be somewhere with a view of the front gate (s2e3) but I believe it’s actually filmed in the room across the hall from Alison and Mike’s bedroom (the room with the creepy Morse code doll). So I’ve included that room twice (partly because the attic version is glitchy). This house is now available to download on the Sims 4 gallery, I hope you all enjoy! (There are a few location-based spoilers for series 3, but nothing major). My username on Sims4 is VelveteenHamlet9.

138 notes • Posted 2021-08-13 20:39:47 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[krsnbgirl]

Fly High! || Kageyama x Fem!Reader || Part 5.5

Summary: You head to Ukai’s store to have a conversation. He learns about some of your past and what your future goals were before coming to Karasuno. You both also come up with some new ideas that can help during practice. 

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x Fem!Reader

Genre: Rom-Com, Slice of Life, Sports

Warnings: Ukai smokes a cigarette (?)

Chapter’s Word Count: ~1.4k

Author’s Note: Side chapter to learn a little bit more of your past as a volleyball player and some of your new responsibilites as their manager! It’s just a cute little small thing I decided to write to help with the context of the story. Hope you guys like it! <3 Part 6 should be up by the end of this week! 

Taglist: @misnmatchedsox​ @monviemoo​ @love-beyond-words​

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 5.5 || Part 6 || Masterlist

It was a cool morning when you waved goodbye to your mom and skateboarded towards Sakanoshita. The temperature was just right and with the weekend in full effect, the streets were bustling with families and friends enjoying their time off. You smiled to yourself as you turned the corner and cruised through different alleyways to cut the time from being on the main streets. It felt nice to finally have a clear mind and a set goal for yourself. For the longest time, it was as if the path in front of you was endless. Whenever you thought about volleyball, flashbacks of your last game constantly plagued your mind. But recently, thanks to all your new friends, your mind was filled with all the new memories you were able to make with the sport. Just like how Tanaka and Nishinoya would always fanboy over Shimizu and you would have to be the one to drag them away from her. Moments with your fellow first years: Hinata always coming into your classroom to hang out with you, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima grouping up with you during free periods to go over the class material, and Kageyama constantly asking you for critiques whenever you helped him practice with Hinata. Sugawara would always check in on you to make sure that you were keeping up with school and Daichi would check in to make sure that you were having your meals. Asahi would try his best to help you with carrying the water if Shimizu was busy with Takeda and Ukai, reassuring you that it wasn’t a hassle and that it was his way of hanging out with you during school hours. 

You smiled to yourself and leaned your head back, enjoying the warm sun rays that were beaming down on you. It was a blessing in disguise to be dragged into their world, no your world, once again. You had missed the feeling of the ball in your hands and feeding off of the hunger and determination that radiated off of the players in the gym. The new found warmth you felt whenever you were with them felt like a new beginning for you. And maybe that’s what you’ve been needing for the longest time: a clean slate from your past and a fresh mind to fall in love with the sport all over again. Stretching your arms, you hummed your favorite song and smiled widely when you saw the store’s front right in front of you. 

Skidding to a stop, you kicked your board into your arms before going into the store. You passed by the aisles to try and find Ukai, but he was nowhere to be found. With a shrug, you set your skateboard on top of one of the empty tables and decided to pick out some snacks. 

“Oi Coach! Where are you?” you asked as you skimmed the shelves of chips in front of you. 

“In the back! I’ll be right out, kid!” he yelled back. 

“Osu~” you replied back and grabbed your favorite bag of chips before heading towards the refrigerated section in the front. 

As you grabbed a cold bottle of Ramune, Ukai emerged from the back room and ruffled your hair. 

“Thanks for coming out kid, I know this isn’t your ideal way of spending your weekend, but I needed your help with the boys.” he said as he grabbed his notebook and pen from behind the counter. 

You smiled and waved it off. “It’s fine, coach. I’m glad I can help.” 

The two of you sat down at the table and you set your skateboard on the floor. You leaned against the back of the chair and crossed one leg over the other as he mirrors your actions with his arms cross against his chest. 

“(L/N) (F/N). Chidoriyama’s infamous female wing spiker and pinch server. Currently on hiatus due to a torn ACL.”

You chuckled and raised an eyebrow at the older man. “Yes, that is I.” 

“How did you get into volleyball?” 

“My dad; he used to play during his high school and university days. When I was younger, they wanted to figure out what kind of extracurricular activity to put me in. My mom put me in dance while my dad put me in volleyball. I didn’t like how stuck up the kids in my ballet class were, so I dropped it and just had more fun with volleyball.” 

“And how long have you been playing?” 

You grabbed your chips and opened the bag. Ukai shook his head when you offered him some and you shrugged before answering. 

“Hm...probably since I was like six or seven? My dad started off with just receiving and then when I got good at that, he taught me serving before putting me in weekend classes.” 

“That’s a long time kid, I’ve seen some of your plays recently and I can see you be a lot of help with the team. Well, that is until you’re ready to personally become a part of the girl’s team.” 

“The girl’s team?” you asked more to yourself then towards him as you munched on some of the chips. 

“C’mon, I’m assuming you’ve dreamt about making it big. It’s just a matter of time until your body is back in top shape.” 

“Coach, I barely told you last night that I agreed to be manager. Let’s take it one step at a time, alright?” you laughed and he sheepishly smiled back at you. 

“Yeah, you’re right, sorry I was getting ahead of myself.” Ukai laughed and then cleared his throat. “So what do you think of the boys so far?” 

“Hm…” you started as you tried to gather your thoughts and opened your bottle of Ramune. “I think they’re okay so far. Some of them still need to improve on their receives, Kags and Shoyo still need to improve on their quick combo, and overall the team dynamic needs to improve. We just need to nitpick and note down the smaller aspects of it for their next training camp.” 

“True, that’s what I began to notice as well. We can start off with different drills and solidify on the current struggles for now. Then after the camp we can get down to the finer details.” 

You nodded your head in agreement and said, “Yeah, that sounds like a solid plan for now.” 

He sighed in relief and relaxed in his chair. “Thank god you’re here, kid. It gets stressful sometimes being the only one coming up with plays.” 

You laughed as Ukai’s typical grumpy face relaxed and got up to toss your trash away. “No prob, coach. Glad I can use my expertise again.” 

“Ah, that reminds me, I need you to come up with different plays the boys can try out. I want to add more towards the second year since we’ve been focusing too much more with our starting lineup.” Ukai said as rested his arms behind his neck. 

“You got it coach.” you smiled at him and gave him the ‘okay’ sign. He watched as you picked up your board and motioned towards the door. 

“Well if that’s all you needed…” 

“Ah, wait!” he said while getting up from his seat and went towards the counter. He rummaged around for a paper bag and grabbed the tongs that was hanging off the handle of the heater for his family’s infamous buns. 

“Compensation for coming out today. Your snacks are also on the house.” he cheekily smiled. 

You gasped and smiled excitedly, jogging towards the counter and watched him fill up the bag. 

“What was your next goal if you weren’t injured?” he asked. 

You played with one of the wheels of your board and pursed your lips. “I...was supposed to go to Niyama High with my libero and captain.” 

“Niyama?! Why didn’t you follow through?” 

Silently, you motioned towards your knee as your expression deadpanned. 

“Oh, right.” 

You rolled your eyes and smirked. “C’mon coach, don’t tell me you’re getting old already and having short term memory.” 

He clicked his tongue and whacked you on the head with the rolled up newspaper by the cashier. You laughed and grabbed the bag he slid towards you. 

“You know I’m kidding, but anyways, it’s as cliché as it can be. I needed a fresh start and Yu-nii suggested I go to Karasuno. He’d show me the ropes and I’ll be on my merry way.” 

“Would you ever consider transferring back?” he asked as he lazily sat down on his chair behind the counter and took out a cigarette. 

You immediately shook your head as you made your way towards the door. He lit it up and blew some out, settling into his usual routine at the store. 

“Nah, the team is family now. So that means Karasuno is my home. But don’t tell the boys I told you that.” you smirked before saluting at the older man and exited the store. 

[masonscig]

first line tag game

thank you for the tag @crackerdumortain !!!!! yours were so much fun to read omg !!!!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some of your favourite authors!

[disclaimer: i write for the choices fandom and some for litg so you’ll see a mix of those fandoms on this list LMAO]

1. stay [twc – mason x sofía]

The first time was casual. She had a knack for musing her thoughts aloud, tossing her harmless opinions out for anyone who’d catch them.

She was good at starting conversations in that way – while he’d never been one for talking.

She never did it with heavy topics, though.

2. thieves in the shadows [choices – blades au – mal x zilyana]

bullets pelted the crates they were crouched behind, wood splintering in every direction. bodies were strewn across the warehouse, the unmistakable pools of blood streaking across the stone.

“raine! to your left!” immy yelled her way, barely sparing her a glance before unloading her clip, shell casings clinking against the ground.

the gun trembled in yana’s hands. she’d shot one before – practice at the gun range, glass bottles in a back alley – but never a live target.

3. if we meet again [choices – open heart au – bryce x spencer] 18+

year one

The ride from the airport to her parents’ home was long and grueling, the slushy ice pelting the windshield barely passing for snow.

It was practically sub-zero outside, a stark difference between the mid seventies weather she’d just left.

4. clandestine [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

“hey. hey wake up –”

she stirred at the greeting, but jumped when he kicked the desk. her face contorted into a grimace, the imprint of her tweed jacket on her cheek outlined in pink. “hmm?”

“you fell asleep again,” he said, plopping a bag in front of her.

5. undying [choices – blades – mal x zilyana]

Zilyana stirred, resituating herself against Mal’s bare chest, feeling his arm instinctively tighten around her shoulders. When she realized she was missing the sound of his deep breathing, accompanied with an occasional soft snore, she cracked an eye open to see his chin tipped upwards, his gaze trained on the ceiling.

6. talent show [choices – platinum – shane x dom]

There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t cross his mind. Even since they were kids.

He admired so much about her – her fiery spirit, her drive, her unwavering tenacity.

And he’d been in love with Dom for as long as he could remember.

7. redeemed [choices – platinum – raleigh x dom]

As soon as he stepped off stage, he was shuffled to his tour bus, Fiona on his heels. She looked like the human embodiment of rage in a grey blazer, a look in her eye that made him thankful he wasn’t the one it was directed at – or at least he hoped he wasn’t the reason she was two seconds away from a murderous rampage.

8. hidden [choices – foreign affairs – blaine x carina] 18+

Her cheek slipped out of the palm of her hand, forehead smacking the desk, nearly jumping out of her skin at the abrupt awakening.

���Ow.”

She prodded the tender spot on her face, thankful her foundation was thick.

A soft snore caught her attention – next to her, Blaine was passed out. Leaning back in his chair, his head was thrown back, arms crossed against his chest, the textbook on its face in his lap.

9. is this fate? [litg au – bobby x mc] 18+

The peroxide was cold when it hit her skin, the liquid bubbling on her knee, relentlessly stinging. She sucked in a breath through gritted teeth.

“Sorry… should be over soon,” he murmured, wiping up the stray liquid that streamed down her leg with a small rag.

The heaviness of the atmosphere between them was almost too much to bear – they’d barely spoken since he helped her onto the counter in his small office, leg propped up between his own, where he sat in his desk chair.

10. asvista cove [litg college au – bobby x elena]

Bobby’s thumb flicked the lighter repeatedly until he got a consistent flame, moving slowly from left to right over the edge of the blunt. His cheeks hollowed out as he sucked in, the tip of it an auburn ember. He pulled it out of his mouth and sucked in an even deeper breath, holding it.

When he blew out the thick cloud of smoke, he passed it to her, coughing under his breath. “Whew. Your turn.”

She followed suit, the thick smoke coating the inside of her lungs, bitter and heavy. She exhaled, the shroud smoke enveloping her view of the sealine.

11. reticent [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

She was bare.

Bare in the way that one is when they’ve been stripped down and torn apart with a trained gaze just calculating enough for them to feel seen – parts of her she didn’t know she’d hidden splayed out like withered pages of a book, dog-eared and marked up like a frequently reread novel.

One he’d reread because it was familiar, because it had fallen into his lap (he hadn’t searched for it), not so much because it was his favorite.

12. more [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

He laced his fingers through her thick hair, reveling in the way his skin looked contrasted against the midnight of her hair.

[the way i can’t post more than this bc it’s....... very nsfw right out the bat LMFAO]

13. calm before the storm [choices – open heart – bryce x spencer]

Since the moment his hands trembled amidst one of the most important surgeries of his life, Bryce was holding on by a thread.

With each half-assed joke he cracked, each wavering smile, each time he tried convincing others – including himself – that he was coping, he fell apart more and more.

The first night he went home after Spencer was quarantined, he trudged through the halls of Edenbrook, like he was dragging his legs through wet concrete. He was nearly magnetized to her bedside, not wanting to leave, but he needed to rest – he’d been awake for nearly a day and a half by the time he clocked out.

14. envy | part two of the attached series [twc – mason x sofía x felix]

He strode down the hallway, hands in his pockets to give the illusion that he didn’t give a shit, when he was most definitely on edge. His fingers flicked his lighter open and closed against the twill lining of his pockets, trying to focus on the soft clicking noise it made instead of the swarm of thoughts clouding his conscience.

He still couldn’t figure out why he cared so much.

15. comfort | part one of the attached series [twc – mason x sofía x felix]

He noticed it before she did.

Her pulse didn’t jump the same way it did the first dozen times he walked into the room. The blood didn’t rush to her cheeks, or creep up her neck, the crimson flush absent even when he tried his hardest to fluster her. And it normally took next to nothing to get her to turn into a bumbling mess.

16. out of time [choices – open heart – sienna x danny]

She sprinted down the hallway, pager still beeping erratically on her hip, the weight of the numbers enough to make her feel like she was slugging through wet concrete.

No, no, not him, please, not him, she chanted to herself, vision blurring with tears before she had the chance to let the negative possibilities set in.

17. unrequited part three [choices – open heart – bryce x spencer]

She slumped into the seat in the deserted waiting room, her joints popping as she stretched, her deep sigh echoing off of the tile. She was exhausted.

She could usually push through the worst of her shifts, but fatigue settled into her bones, a lethargy she’d never experienced entrapping her like a net, and she couldn’t fight her way out of it this time.

18. signs [choices – ride or die – logan x raquel]

“A final in sign language? Couldn’t you just have a conversation with the teacher or some shit?” Logan sat across from her on the couch, watching as her fingers bent and flexed, transfixed.

She stopped abruptly, screwing her mouth to the side in concentration. She repeated the same few moves, getting more and more frustrated with each sequence.

19. mementos [choices – ride or die – logan x raquel]

The sound of his boots slapping against the damp pavement reverberated off of the brick of the alleyways, his gasping breaths adding to the symphony that was his escape.

20. warmth [twc – mason x sofía]

“You’re going the wrong way,” Mason grunted, looking particularly stiff in her passenger seat.

“I thought we could take the scenic route,” she shrugged, flicking her high beams on as she turned off of the main road leading downtown, easing on the brakes when the tires hit the gravel.

okay so....... i didn’t really realize just HOW MUCH i’ve written since the summer? i’ve fallen into a pattern where i think i’m a failure bc of how slow i am to write because i have so many series i’ve started and dropped off and wips i’ve abandoned but.... i’ve managed to write for most appreciation weeks i’ve both hosted/participated in and i’ve written for THREE fandoms.... i don’t normally gas myself up but? i’m really? proud of myself? KSJDJKSD if you read this far thank you and you’re prob watching me have a breakdown over how much i’ve managed to write oh my GOD ok i need to lie down KLSDFKASFJD i didn’t even think i could hit 20 but i did???? alright i’m officially gonna treat myself at some point bc i did all this in less than a year.... these are from the end of july 2020 to now..... wow ok im done i promise SKDFJKSDF

tagging: @raleighcarrera and @pixeljazzy !!! <3 

[wildflowers-inthemeadow]

FIFTY QUESTIONS

original: https://surveyworld.tumblr.com/post/125211108194/144-fifty-questions

1: What would you name your future daughter? I don’t want to have kids, however I like the names Wilhelmina and Elizabeth.

2: Do you miss anyone? not missing per se, but thinking of all my wonderful Tumblr friends

3: What if I told you that you were pretty? aw, thanks!

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? nope, it’s usually me who says that. and it’s always true. 

5: What are you looking forward to in the next week? possible road trip.

6: Did you go out or stay in last night? dude, one word for you: Corona.

7: How late did you stay up last night? 4-am-ish.

8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? my Mom probs. It is hot and I usually run around in underwear and I visited her last weekend, so.

9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? getting started for the day.

10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? no

11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? absolutely. haven’t drunk a drop for years.

12: Have you pretended to like someone? no

13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? I’ve managed well so far, I don’t think I’ll ever pick it up.

14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? @blackbirdinthebox, @abbys-little-whippersnapper, @zebraljb

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? depends on my history with that person

16: Think back five months ago, were you single? yupp.

17: Have you ever cried from being so mad? no

18: Hold hands with anyone this week? no

19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? no

20: Who did you last see in person? Mom

21: What is the last thing you said out lot? “What was I doing at 12:30 am?”

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? no

23: Have you ever been to Paris? yes, a couple of times. beautiful city!

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? oh God, no. they’re all over my face.

25: Do you use chap stick? in the winter, yes.

26: Who did you last share a bed with? no one. and I like it that way.

27: Are you listening to music right now? yes. “Sirens” by Fleurie.

28: What is something you currently want right now? write

29: Were your last three kisses from the same person? no

30: How is your heart lately? beating

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? sometimes

32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? ooooooh, long ago

33: What do people call you? Jana and let’s leave it like that. I hate nicknames.

34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? maybe?

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? sometimes

36: What are you listening to right now? music, the fan

37: What is wrong with you right now? right at the moment - nothing.

38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? yupp

39: Do you make wishes at 11:11? no.

40: What is on your wrists right now? nada

41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected? single and waiting for the unexpected. bring it on!

42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? bonprix

43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? yes. twice.

44: Have you hugged someone within the last week? yes

45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? no

46: What were you doing at midnight last night? watching videos

47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? they were not much different than they are now. although, yes, I miss the weather. I hate summer and summer heat.

48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? alone

49: Have you ever been to New York? no and I am not keen to.

50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? I would hope so.

[purplesurveys]

707

Do you think you're clever? I can be but I wouldn’t say it’s a dominant personality trait. Did you wear socks today? No, I haven’t worn socks since the last day I went to school :/ Can you remember how you celebrated your 10th birthday? I don’t remember how the whole day went but I do have a photo of me on that day. We were in our old house then and I was at the dining area smiling with my cake, surrounded by my mom and sister.

Know any magic tricks? Nah I can’t perform any of them. Do you sleep well most nights? These days I certainly do. They’ve suspended online classes, and acads is really the main thing taking up my time (and head) most days until recently. Without that I’m just sleeping, eating, and having random bursts of productivity everyday.

Are your nails painted? No. Is there somebody you know that you really don't trust? Yeah I have a couple of orgmates that are a little sketchy. I also dunno if I can trust my mom in the bigger scheme of things - we’re just not close like that. Is there music in your head right now? No need to have it playing in my head, I already have a lo-fi livestream playing on YouTube at the moment. When's the last time you baked a cake? Grade 6 when we baked a rainbow cake in home economics. What time was it half an hour ago? 7:26 PM. Did you ever play cowboys and indians when you were growing up? I have no idea what that game is. Probs an American thing? Can anyone confirm? When did it last rain? My dad said it drizzled earlier this afternoon, but I wouldn’t know because I was taking a nap. The last time it rained and I caught it was two nights ago. Would you like to become a dancer? I would love to be able to dance gracefully and call myself a dancer, but I wouldn’t want it to be my Number One Agenda, as in joining contests or have it be my whole career and stuff. It’ll be nice to simply have it as a hobby. What colour is the bathroom of your house painted? The top half of the wall is white, the bottom half consists of light brown tiles. Which country is to the north of your home country? Taiwan. Name one person of the same sex as you you wouldn't mind doing: My girlfriend. Haaaaah you thought. What is the most gory film you've seen? Evil Dead, but I’ve only seen the 2013 reboot. Is there anybody that you know that you just feel really sorry for? Yeah I guess, like my uncle for stubbornly never getting his life back on track. I’ve been done waiting for him to get better. Do you like the Austin Powers films? I’ve never seen any one of them, even the one Beyoncé is in.

Where is the worst place you have ever travelled to? All the places I’ve been to have been wonderful and it wouldn’t feel right to tag one of them as the ‘worst’ because all the trips have been paid for by my parents lmao. But the one trip that didn’t exactly turn out the way we would’ve wanted it to was Caramoan in Camarines Sur. It was raining almost the entire time, so the scenario was either 1) the rain messed with the cable signal and we only had one channel every time we were in the cabin or 2) we had to make do with being rained on whenever we wanted to go out to the beach. It was also in the middle of nowhere, so we didn’t have internet. Ever fallen down a hole? Nope. That’s one of the scenarios I’m particularly afraid of. Do you like to read poetry? No I hate having to. I’ve never understood poems. What's your preferred frozen snack? Other than ice cream? Idk, frozen fries maybe? Those hit differently. Is rap music overrated? I’d say some are, but rap generally has a rich underground culture as well so I wouldn’t say all of it is overrated. Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? That doesn’t matter to me. I care more about how warm/cold it is, because I can’t start working anywhere I find too hot or else I’ll feel too sluggish. Do you know any vegans? Only from the internet. Filipinos are big meat eaters so it’s hard to find resources for if you want to become vegan. There are vegan food stalls but they’re VERY few and far between, and they’re typically situated in hipper, more cosmopolitan parts of the city since veganism isn’t a known concept here. Earphones or headphones? Earphones. Do you like bananas? Eugh no. What's a film you've seen that confused you? Interstellar confuses me to this day. But I loved it a lot and I enjoyed the premise, and that’s what matters to me. Do you ever wear black lipstick? I don’t think I’ve ever worn it before. You can take any illegal drug without any bad consequences, which one? That’s a really dark question but uh... I’d go with meth because idk, Breaking Bad? I certainly wouldn’t want to try heroin though. What is next to your bed? I have a drawer with my clothes and other knickknacks on one side, and a chest with a bunch of memorabilia and old books I’ve had since I was a kid on the other side. Are your fingernails dirty? Nope. What would you change about yourself appearence-wise? I’d straighten my front teeth and make my teeth in general smaller. I’d also have some hair grow on my left eyebrow because I permanently damaged the hair growth there by plucking too much as an anxiety habit. How long do you normally spend in the shower? Depends on how relaxed I need to feel. If I’m showering for school it takes me 4-5 minutes. If it’s been hot all day like in the summer I’d take up to 15. When's the last time somebody called you "baby"? Sometime today, I don’t exactly remember when. Have you ever had to keep something important from your family? Like... my 4-year same-sex relationship? Yup. Don't you think things feel much better after a good cry? The things that made me cry don’t get better or automatically get fixed, but it’s always nice to give myself a break and to let everything out. Do you think the UK should keep its monarchy? I honestly don’t know enough about their system to confidently form an opinion about it. My only contribution to this conversation is that the royal family does interest me and I know more trivia about them than the average person should hahahahaha. True or false: you'd do Mila Kunis. I’d do her character in Friends with Benefits but like I don’t really feel that way for IRL Mila, mostly cos I’d rather do wholesome stuff with her hahaha. Which colour would you rather have your hair: pink, grey or green? Green > grey > pink. Don't you just hate the sound of people eating? NOOOOOOO are you kidding. Mukbang ASMRs are my faveeeeeee. What's your favourite music video? Meh I don’t really watch music videos. Is it your aim to be perfect? About the things I do, yeah. I’m not obsessed about having *everything* be perfect, even stuff I have no control over.. Ever climbed to the top of a mountain? No. That’s on my bucket list though. Have you ever fell for someone believing you could "fix" them? No. That’s never been a reason I’ve had feelings for someone. Someone's paying for a fancy dinner, where do you eat and who do you take? BLACKBIRD. I’ve wanted to try it for a while now but Makati is a bitch to get to + their food would literally take away two weeks’ worth of my allowance. I’d take Gab with me for sure. Can you honestly say you are truly happy with your life? Not right now, but I’m not hopeless about it either. Can you paint well? I can’t paint at all. Describe a picture of yourself that you hate: The candid ones are the ones I end up hating the most. If you could keep any animal as a pet, which would you choose? Just all the dogs would be fine, thanks. Something you did in the past that you're embarrassed about: I was bidding Gab’s dad goodbye because he was leaving to meet up with his friends or something. Anyway my shoes chose to be slippery that day and I completely tripped the whole way walking over to him and I even unconsciously grabbed onto his arm to keep myself from falling flat on my face. I AM WINCING JUST TYPING THIS OUT PLS SEND HELP Would you rather play a good or an evil character in a play? Evil. It’d be easier acting that way. Do you like porridge? It’s alright. I mostly avoid it because it was all I ate for breakfast from when I was 4 up to when I was 10, and I’m so so sick of the taste and texture by now.

Has anybody ever lied to you just to impress you? Idk, probably. Strangest gift you ever received: Don’t think I’ve ever received anything I was genuinely baffled by. But I try not to be like that - all gifts are gifts so I’m always grateful whenever someone gives me one. Do most people annoy you? Nah. But 14 year old Robyn taking surveys would probably say yes just to sound edgy :/ Don't you think you should really be doing something more productive? Idk man we’re in the middle of a global health crisis. I think being productive shouldn’t be a priority for once. Have you ever felt really out of place? Yesssssss this was me when I was trying to apply for AIESEC. The crowd was just too different and I didn’t last long in the application process. What's your favourite shade of blue? Royal and sky blue. Do you have any odd phobias? I used to be afraid of watching advertisements at night, but I think it’s mostly gone now. What's the longest you've gone without sleep? 18-20 hours maybe. I don’t let myself pull all-nighters. When was the last time you just wanted to be left alone? Earlier this noon when I felt disrespected by my dad. Do you believe in karma? Sure. Can you remember a world before iPods? Nope. Google says the first iPod came out in 2001, and I don’t remember being 3 years old or younger. When was the last time it was sunny? This morning. Would you like to be photographed by Terry Richardson? I’ve never heard of him but I checked Google just now and apparently he’s been an asshat to his subjects? So no. Smoke? Yes please I so have been needing one throughout this quarantine. I ran out of puffs for my vape pen which is even worse. Would you rather have a lazy day or a day of being really busy? I’ve had 31+ lazy days now. I wouldn’t mind a busy day. Do you like the way that spoken French sounds? I don’t get to hear it all that much but it was spoken so beautifully in Portrait of a Lady on Fire, so I guess I’m alright with it for the most part. I just don’t like the times it comes from the throat and it sounds a bit like hawking. D: But maybe it’s just a cultural thing - Filipino isn’t throaty at all so when we hear sounds like that we’re just not used to it. What's the best film soundtrack? As stupid as the storylines were, they really made sure the Twilight Saga soundtracks SLAPPED. Bon Iver, St. Vincent, Muse, Death Cab for Cutie, The Black Keys, Florence + The Machine, PARAMORE?????? They weren’t fucking around. Interstellar and Gone with the Wind also had amazing scores. Where did you go on your last date? My informal first date with Gabie was at a museum + this quaint Italian place in Greenbelt that has since closed. My legit first date with her was at a Bonchon LMFAOOOOOOOOOO Do people find you "cute"? Not really... only my girlfriend calls me that. Who does the best remixes? Eh not a fan. What is most of your money spent on? Gas, food, dates.

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Kasumi’s PT Outfit Analysis

Tell me what do these two have in common?

If you said “Cat theme” you are correct! If not, well then buckle up my dudes cause this is gonna be fun~! :D (I also want to take the time to point out, while this isn’t want I’m talking about, I do like this fan artist’s perspective on her gloves :D)

I know what you’re thinking, and no I’m not smoking anything I don’t do that, but Kasumi really does have cat thief themed origins (and no not because of the fan art, didja click on it? it’s cute!). I realized it after realizing she was a gymnast and was like “Why? Why does she get a gymnast theme? How does this fit with the outlaw theme? Has there been a thief who had gymnast outfit?....wait....could it be.....omg it IS!” AND THE ANSWER IS YES! 4 thieves actually, 3 are sisters in one series, and 1 is an expy of those sisters by the same author in his other work. If you know who I’m talking about I’m talking about.....CAT’S EYE! (and Phantom Thief 305 from City Hunter, I dunno the meaning of the name tho)

Let’s start with Cat’s Eye (not a 100% expert in it, but I know more than City Hunter tbh). Cat’s Eye is about a trio of sisters (Hitomi the middle who is the main character, Rui the oldest sister, and Ai the youngest) stealing things using their multiple skill sets (such as gymnastics), partially because they want to contact their missing dad who is also a thief (and their attempts to contact him are through the calling cards and stealing the items in hopes he comes as well). And....that’s basically it I think (been awhile since I read the manga and I’m in the process of re-reading it now). Movie wise, it seems they are in the process of trying to rescue him (hard to find info, no eng subtitles for me to watch so efsljdfl;aj).

Anne and Kasumi are the biggest shout outs to Cat’s Eye than anyone else (tho you could argue Cat’s eye is probs the reason Makoto drives a Motorcycle and Futaba is an semi-orange themed tech genius, and Haru who is “Noir” tho I don’t feel like looking up who came first, her or the Cat’s Eye Pachinko machine cause it’s not important). Anne’s outfit is more a shout-out to the Cat’s Eye Movie version while Kasumi’s is more a shout-out to the original manga/anime. Let’s focus on the Cat’s Eye movie for a second tho.

This isn’t the first time Cat’s Eye movie was used as inspiration for Persona. Back in P2 Tamaki Uchida dressed as Ai (the youngest sister of Cat’s Eye, but is the lead role in the movie), as the actress she is based off of (Yuki Uchida) played Ai in the movie.

Anne, however, seems to be based on Hitomi outfit with some Rui flare to it (they differ slightly)

(btw the movie opens up with an anime sequence before going full live action, Hitomi Left, Rui Right I think for both pics, Ai is in the middle for the bottom pic, and recolored Anne for better comparison and also because I can 8U)

I know what you are thinking, “But what about Catwoman????” I think she’s still related to Cat’s Eye tho. Catwoman came first in creation, and Catwoman was the first to use the leather outfits (tbh, mask wise, Tamaki’s mask/ears seem to draw from the Catwoman 60s tv show outfit), and it seems she/Batman were the inspiration for the movie costumes. Also considering how Persona likes to use Batman, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the cat theme stuff was also Batman/Catwoman related as well as Cat’s Eye. So there’s still a connection to Catwoman esp with the movie! 

Another possible connection to the movie is Anne’s name, specifically “Anne,” as the person who went by the stage name “Anri/杏里” (I mean Anne is just the  杏 kanji but still) who sings the theme song “Cat’s Eye 2000″ for the movie. Fun fact.

Now let’s look at the manga/anime, where it’s Kasumi’s time to shine (tho Anne will come back up).

As you can see they’ve been redesigned a few times (btw Hitomi’s colors in the first vol of Cat’s eye is actually blue with an orange ribbon, it was changed to yellow later it seems, also the top right is a spinoff manga of Cat’s Eye called Cat’s Eye: Ai where Ai is the MC)

As you can see, the girl who is mostly in the blue is Hitomi, and she has a tendency to wear a chocker with her leotard. Kinda like.......Kasumi! 

Recolored with blue to highlight the comparison (also because I NEED COLOR IN HER DESIGN ATLUS LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH DX) 

Fun fact, Hitomi I believe is a gymnast and she utilizes her skills as a thief (and thus where we get the gymnast as a thief outlaw theme and why it only works for Kasumi/gymnasts and not runners like Ryuji). 

But Kasumi also has similarities between her and Ai, both have red in their theme, both I think are first years. Also, while Ai isn’t as strong or skilled as her older sisters in fighting, she is the most agile (which we don’t know if Kasumi is in the same boat but it’s worth noting just in case). Another thing about Ai, is her connection to Tamaki up above, Tamaki who is based off the actress who played Ai was in the fencing club (which Yuki Uchida was also a fencer), and what weapon does Kasumi wield? A one handed sword similar to other fencers in Persona (like Mitsuru), so woot we’ve come full circle on that! (also if Kasumi is Hamuko reincarnated, or Hamuko’s younger sister, it should be noted that one of Hamuko’s theme colors is orange along with pink and red so fklsdjfsajf; bonus points if that comes true!)

Kasumi’s mask is also probably based on the Cat’s Eye calling card (or at least it follows a similar pattern):

Same point pattern, same eye shape and design (it’d also explain why it’s so thick, cause the emblem is thick looking too 8U)

So I mentioned we’d come back to Anne, and here we are! There is one last thing that is similar to Anne and the Kisugi sisters, and it’s that they are all hafus! The sisters are all half german, and Hitomi looks just like her western grandmother if Hitomi had blonde hair, and later dyes her hair blonde for her thieving:

Also *cough* a pink/red outfit I wonder who that reminds us of? 8U

Now onto City Hunter, which....I think is the biggest evidence that Kasumi was based off these people. And it’s this girl:

The girl with the glasses is the same one as the girl in the same girl in the green leotard (the one in the red isn’t a thief, but was wearing one to match the other girl while they stole a flower). 

This is the first episode this girl shows up (only one I’ve seen too tbh), she’s actually 17/a 2nd year iirc.... And guess what her name is? Kasumi Aso. Kasumi is spelled the same way too (aka only in hirigana)! From my research she only steals what is commissioned of her (I think she steals back what is stolen from other people). She has connection to flowers like Kasumi Yoshizawa (Aso is connected to the [black] tulip, Yoshizawa has flowers on her belt). Both are pretty unassuming in their civilian outfits too tbh. (tho slightly off topic, fun fact, there was a Japanese hafu rhythmic gymnast named Kasumi, I’ve been wanting to post about that for awhile but I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s who IRL Yoshizawa was based off of)

Sadly I don’t know much else about Aso, I need to read more of City Hunter to find out (even tho she’s not a super main character), and tbh this is where I kinda end with the Kasumi/Anne and Cat’s Eye/PT 305/Catwoman analysis. But I’ll use this time to talk about a few misc stuff and maybe a few theories related to cat themed thief ladies:

P5 probably got the “Thief who works at a cafe during the day (and the Cafe name also is a reference to their thieving as well as possibly housing a cat)” from Cat’s Eye and City hunter (which take place in Tokyo/Shinjuku, tho in different locations), as the Kisugi Sisters work at their cafe called “Cat’s Eye,” and Aso being their expy, also works at a cafe by the same name (tho it’s run by different people cause it’s in a different/parallel universe). 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Tamaki’s tendency to house a Nekomata in her workplace to be similar to the kitty (Tiger I think it’s name is) that Ai has at the cafe (esp considering, again, Yuki Uchida played Ai). 

According to the Japanese fan wiki of Cat’s Eye, in the sequel “Cat’s Eye: Ai,” the Cafe is moved to a new location, which is Kichijoji, which is the new area that has been unlocked in P5R (maybe a certain cafe will be available for us to wander into? :0 Or maybe Kasumi works at a cafe XP or maybe is connected to the billiards place, tho that DARTSLIVE3 screenshot seems to have a “cafe” poster in the background so maaaaaaaybe that’s a cafe XP)

Part of me wonders if Mitsuru’s Arena outfit is related more to Black Cat, due to the signature “white fur” both characters wear. 

Kasumi Y’s hairstyle (aka if her hair was down, so basically we are going off her bangs) is similar to Hitomi (at least the Pachinko machine ver)

Anne’s circle zipper designs might be more of a shout-out to Marvel’s Black Cat, not that Catwoman hasn’t had that as well, but I don’t feel like figuring out who did the circle zipper first 8U 

Satomi Tadashi dressed up as Zorro and was romantically involved with Takami. Anne who is a Cat’s Eye expy is crushed on by Mona (who wields Zorro). And Kasumi, another Cat’s Eye expy, looks like a Hamuko Expy, while Mona’s human form looks like a Minato Expy. 

Kasumi has a similar black mask with silver line design (not the mask shape itself, the line design) as a woman named “Noir”(?) who appears in the Cat’s Eye Pachinko Machine (yes I did come across interesting things, no I don’t know what her deal is or really who she is tbh cause I think she’s a pachinko original 8U ;w;)

So yeah just gonna kinda end it here awkwardly. FYI this doesn’t mean you HAVE to like her outfit (you have every right to dislike or like it tbh), it’s just a history lesson, and explaining how it fits the outlaw/PT theme, where’s Ryuji’s track or Haru’s ballet doesn’t.

Oh! Edit cause I forgot, if you push her mask up over head, it might look like cat’s ears, just a theory tho (of course it might look like devil horns but so does Anne’s so fklsjdfk;aj;faj;f take this for what you will):

[chelsorz07]

I posted these as asks four years ago and never got to answer any so

THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE SEEING THESE FROM ME, DIDN’T YA? Me too, I’m so sorry

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair.

2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? I have like two cups of coffee a month but have only drank booze twice in the past year so coffee I guess.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Many times.

4. Do you plan outfits? Sometimes I’ll want to wear a specific shirt but it’s rarely ever clean and I never pick out clothes sooner than right before my shower.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Tired but I still have to put the garbage out before I can go to bed and my neck and knees are killing me so I can’t get off the couch. But I’m in an okay mood.

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? Throw pillow.

7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body? Idk I’d like to say I’d be a badass about it but honestly I’d probs scream.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I legit don’t remember. I dream every night but they usually fly right out of my head when I wake up.

9. Three of your current feelings? Tired, hungry, in pain. 

10. What are you craving right now? Cheeseburger and onion rings.

11. Turn ons? Um...intelligence, wit, shoulders, eyes, ginger beards.

12. Turn offs? Arrogance, chauvinism, people who don’t like cats.

13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Coleslaw.

14. When was the last time you cried? Why? I was doing a concert in my living room last night, as I often do, and some of the songs got me a little emosh.

15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be? Black Widow or Loki.

16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? No but she did change the way she treated me so I’m taking that for what it is.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? I don’t eat ice cream because it hurts my teeth no matter which method of eating I use.

18. Favorite movie ever? Bring it On.

19. Do you like yourself? Depends on the day. Actually it changes even more frequently than that.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity? Many. None will top Jensen Ackles though. Well. Except Misha. Note the double entendre lol

21. Could you handle being in the military? I definitely could not. I’m also too old to enlist even if I wanted to.

22. What are you listening to right now? Walking Dead, season 1 episode 2. Because every time I start the series over, I pick up from episode 3 since I don’t really care about anyone but Daryl until Jesus happens. But today I felt like a refresher from the beginning.

23. How many countries have you visited? I went to Canada once.

24. Are your parents strict? They were while I was being raised. Then my little sister had like no rules.

25. Would you go sky diving? No way.

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Hell yeah.

27. Whats on your mind right now? I’m really just trying to gather the motivation to get up and pee, then take the garbage out so I can go to sleep.

28. Is there anything you want to say to someone? Ehh not really.

29. Have you ever been in a castle? No but I would tour the shit out of some if I had the opportunity.

30. Do you rent movies often? Almost never because who does that anymore? But we did just rent Mile 22 from the Redbox a few weeks ago. It was pretty meh for Wahlberg.

31. Whats your zodiac sign? Leo.

32. When was the last time you had sex? A month ago. Purely by circumstance. My husband is currently on week four of a five week work rotation in Texas.

33. Name five facts about yourself. Lord. I have rapidly deteriorating joints and it fucking hurts everywhere all the time. I’ve spent the past 48 hours going back through my entire tumblr, over 300 pages. I only make homemade mac n cheese, not boxed. I’m almost finished rereading every Desus fic on AO3 for the second time (some more than two but I mean going through literally every page). One of my cats is sitting above my head and purring really loudly and another is sitting to my left snoring.

34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened? Got caught driving in a blizzard. Spun off the road several times, including once off of an on-ramp. Like do not enter, wrong direction. If I hadn’t made it to the hotel right next to the on-ramp I really would’ve been fucked.

35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny? Not really.

36. Brown or white eggs? White.

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? Most of my material possessions are from the hot topical, yes. Clothes, jewelry, funkos, makeup, miscellaneous other merch. It’s like a lot.

38. Ever been on a train? I have not.

39. Ever been in love? I am.

40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it? I hate this question. Of course I want a million dollars. But I’ve always wanted to stay in a haunted house anyway.

41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with? JJ Ackles. Except that I wouldn’t wish my life on her. Can we just be siblings instead?

42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to become more attractive, would you do it? I’m already attractive. And my life expectancy isn’t that high as it is.

43. Whom do you admire and why? My husband because he does crazy shit like work 35 days in a row when he’s only supposed to work 14 just to make sure all our bills are paid and we have savings because I’m too crippled to work at all right now.

44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child? I didn’t get bedtime stories.

45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do? I am literally capable of doing nothing, except maybe let her use my phone to call 911 if she hasn’t already.

46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you? No. I can’t even choose my own profession.

47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol? Idk about best but my most recent one was pretty good. I hadn’t had alcohol in over a year but a few weeks ago my sister turned 21 and we had family game night at my parents’ house so I got a little buzzed on some grapefruit White Claws and for about four hours I wasn’t in physical pain. Plus we all had a really good time just hanging out and playing games and everybody got along. That has 100% never happened in my family before. Also the last time I smoked weed, which was MANY years ago, like 6 or 7, it had the same effect and reduced my joint pain.

48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol? Worst with drugs was the night I smoked an entire joint just in my living room alone and it must have been strong shit because I threw up immediately. Worst experience drinking was probably all of 2010.

50. As you’re walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it? Probs I’m desperate and not that great of a person.

51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them? Yes? WTF kind of question is that? It’s 2019, AIDS isn’t cooties.

52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger? Depends what kind of pistol. If it’s a revolver you can see the rounds in the barrel. 

53. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 20.

54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires? Nope. Well I still haven’t ruled out ghosts but I also know how to dispatch them so.

55. If you could live forever, would you want to? HELL naw.

56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are? Janice Ian.

57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit? We love a renaissance.

58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? Probably.

59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? Not even for like a day.

60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to? Yes. I want a girl. Come for me.

61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy? I want that money beech.

[inspiringwhilerespiring]

Yall know i love this survey shit<3

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends.

-finish 5 books

-lose 20 lbs

-produce more art

-travel out of the state & country

-heal my heart and love myself a lil more

2. What color are your pants?

not wearing any

3. Favorite motivational quote.

damn, there’s A L O T. prob something simple and to the point. I like “proud, but never satisfied” and “the distance between your dreams and reality is called action”

4. When was the last time you drank coffee?

yesterday; got a new french press for christmas<3

5. What was the last thing you ate?

lmao the weirdest shit. hot cheetos, some hummus, and a bar

6. Favorite animal.

soo many; always been fascinated by sharks. Elephants are up there too.

7. Favorite song.

currently anything Kid Cudi - he soothes my soul

8. Last movie you watched?

National Lampoon family vacation I think?

9. Any turn ons?

of course; im one of those gay people who gets turned on by having an emotional connection first and foremost; but if were strictly talking physical shit - any neck action is sexy af. or just taking breaks to make eye contact.

10. Any turn offs?

bad breath lol and just being a dick in general or inconsiderate

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head.

cognizant; superfluous; compelling; anguished

12. What are some meaningful movies?

First ones that come to my mind that left an impact or a meaningful message are Shawshank Redemption, Avatar, Wall-E (lol), Forest Gump

13. 2 most important people in your life right now?

Myself honestly 

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends?

Find a desk, order a blender, and form a morning routine

15. When was the last time you read a good book?

Currently reading Michelle Obama’s -Becoming; before that I read the Alchemist and it was good

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study?

I don’t

17. Do you have any nicknames?

Pollo, Hayls

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.)

Viva la Juicy, but honestly all of them - been sticking to essential oils or all natural shit lately - anything with Amber is good.

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state?

yes<3

20. What is something unique that you do every single day?

lol shower? I dont really do anything special i dont think?

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called?

“Becoming” lol because I feel like I am always growing and changing and adapting and learning and ill never just be one thing

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone?

Recently - christmas time

23. Are you a shopaholic?

no - but i just got an amazon prime account and thats game changer fa real

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better?

Love - Kid Cudi, 

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself.

Sitting in the tub (otherwise that shit is too crowded lmao)

Reading a good book

Masturbating prob?

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in?

Tropical island

27. How do you like being roused in the morning?

cuddles and soft music (prob reggae) and if i aint got shit to do a bluntttt fam

28. How was your day? What did you do?

it was ok - fighting some inner demons lately and feeling really low :/ but i got a little bit done so im giving myself a break

29. What did your last text message say?

“bye”

30. Do you respond to texts quickly?

depends on who it is lol

31. Who was the last person you called?

my mom

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list.

i wanna learn another language

I wish to be able to see more things change for the better in our world

i wish to skydive

i wish to live in another country for a while

and i wish to love myself

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for?

maybe being a host of a talk show lol

34. Winter or summer?

both

35. What is a quality that all people should have?

empathy

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be?

my inner white girl and materialistic ass says shoes - but idk i think it would also be cool to have a collection of books or photographs - ya know that sentimental shit i be on

37. What have you been thinking about lately?

wow so much - a lot of reflecting honestly about who i have been and how i’ve treated others and how i am trying to change myself - so ironically enough, i’ve also been thinking about the future and trying to focus on who i want to be and where i want to be

38. What is the secret to a happy life?

taking it day by day im sure

39. What are some phrases you say often?

“nice” lol to my clients a lot

40. Favorite food?

lately its been asian - like thai and vietnamese. fuck now i want some dumplings and curry and egg rollllz

41. List 3 wishes.

already fuckin diiiiiddd fam

42. What are some of your greatest fears?

memory loss, dying, losing others

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

idk whats app prob

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? 

machu picchu

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? 

LOVE

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike?

Depends

47. Do you like to travel?

Do you know me lol

48. Any regrets?

yeah always, but i try to live my life without any and honestly id never go back and change em

49. Do you like rain?

obsessed; fav weather actually

50. What do you spend most of your money on?

food

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future?

past bc im a sentimental person; future is exciting and i like surprises and the unknown and dreaming about that shit - id rather not know.

52. Favorite clothing store?

depends - urban outfitters is my style but i like goodwill just as much

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down?

this too shall pass

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you?

honestly not often enough, i try not to over think things or it tends to give me anxiety. why worry about things that are far out of our control? I just take shit day by day

55. What angers you the most?

ignorance. and rude ass people. when someone isnt being genuine

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry?

yesterday

57. When was the last time you got really sad?

today

58. Are you good at lying?

im sure everyone is to some degree

59. What foreign language would you like to learn?

spanish

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they?

just one - semi fluent in spanish

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead?

lol 

62. What books do you plan to read this year?

not sure! I have a couple but we shall see

63. Do you have breakfast every morning?

yes i try to - its my fav meal

64. Tell us a secret.

then it wouldnt be a secret

65. How many concerts have you been to?

a few

66. Last hug?

wasnt long enough

67. Who knows you better than anyone else?

myself

68. Baths or showers?

ooooooh damn, depends

69. Do you think you’re ambitious?

i could be a little more

70. What song is stuck in your head?

lmaooo wake up in the sky by gucci mane and bruno - thats been my shit lately

71. Countries you’ve visited?

Peru, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Jamaica, Caymans, Philippines

72. What do you most value in your friends?

Communication and laughter

73. What helps you to sleep better?

putting my got dang phone away from me

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand?

prob like 2 grand or some shit

75. What makes you nervous?

when i over book myself or take too much on and have a lot on my plate - so time management i suppose

76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given?

to live in the present moment; and to take care of myself 

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive for sure - i dont really ever forget

78. First mobile phone?

ayyy a flip phone and it was see thru and lit up and had a walkie talkie!

79. Strangest dream?

lmao ew no im so ashamed

80. Best dream?

flying or something

81. Who is the smartest person you know?

my grandpa it seems

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr?

idk

83. Do you miss anyone right now?

very much, always

84. Who do you love? Why?

everyone, because life is too damn short for hate

85. Do you like sharing?

yeah lol bc i expect ppl to share w me in return

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone?

idk actually

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens?

yeah id like to think so

88. Favorite genre of music?

i was raised on hip hop so i feel like that is my go to but honestly i love reggae, alternative, a lil bit of electro chill shit, R&B, oldies, jazz, anything 

89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be?

Understanding

90. Describe your life in 5 words.

roller coaster. fun. emotional. loving. growth.

91. Describe the world in 4 words.

crazy. beautiful. strong. vast.

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done?

skinny dip?

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist?

cocaine model - zhu

is this love - bob marley

tadow - masego

94. Are you more creative or logical?

def without a doubt 100% creative/emotional/empath/sensative/does things based on feelings rather than reason type person lmao

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth?

truth always

96. What are you most proud of?

my ability to communicate and understand people

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people?

strength/humility 

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing?

smoking a fat ass blunt doing yoga on a sunny day while its 68 degrees out and im on a beach 

[surveystodestressme]

179.

Have you ever had feelings for 2 people at the same time?


yeah, or at least i felt like i did at the time

Do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea?

i mean if there’s a good reason for it

Is it possible to ‘fix’ a ‘broken’ relationship?


absolutely, as long as both people in the relationship try to fix whatever is broken

Would you ever throw out/give away something an ex gave you?


if i didn’t want/need it anymore then yeah

Why do you think people believe in love at first sight?


that’s just what they believe, i don’t know

If you found someone seemingly perfect for you, but it turned out they had a child… would you still give the relationship a chance?


probably not honestly.  i dont want anything to do with kids

Is it possible to ‘fall out of love’?


yes.

Why do you think people choose to get married?


because they want to

Why do you think people are against same-sex marriage?


it’s against their religion or whatever

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing?


not very long, a couple months maybe, i think my dad got it for me

Are you a slut?


no.

What happened last time you got drunk?


it was at my boyfriends christmas at his grandparents house and i drank a lot and got really tired and fell asleep on the floor in the living room

Have you ever thrown up from drinking?


yup

Last thing you said out loud?


i was telling my boyfriend about something i saw on Cops

Do you find piercings attractive?


yeah

What’s your favourite number?


8

How many cigarettes have you smoked today?


none

What languages can you count to ten or higher in?


two

Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?


i’ve gone through a lot but i’ve gotten through everything and survived so i suppose that’s good

Ever got suspended from school?


nope.

What would you do with a $10 bill you found on the ground?


keep it probs

Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun?


the sun

What were you doing at 3AM last night?
  

sleeping

Are you ticklish?


yes.

Want to be taller or shorter?


taller

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?


school lol

Who is the first person you see in the mornings?  

my boyfriend

Do you like being called babe?


yeah

Is the last person you kissed more than 2 years older than you?


no.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? 


i know it

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?


in between.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?


yes.

Did anyone see you kiss that last person you kissed?


nope.

Are you a jealous person?


yeah kind of

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person that kissed you?
  

yes.

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?


yes.

Honestly if you could go back 9 months and change something, would you?


prob not

When is the next time you will kiss someone?


tonight before bed probably

Are you wasting your time on someone?


i don’t think so

Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year?


my boyfriend.

Were you happier 7 months ago or now?


now

Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?


yes.

Do you regret anything that you’ve said today?


no.

Do you have a secret life?


no.

Is there anyone you can tell EVERY THING to?


my boyfriend, my mom, and my sister

Do you ever get a text from someone that you don’t want a text from, and yell at your phone because your angry?


nah

So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM, what do you do?


well i live with him so i’d be a little surprised if he was outside at 3 am instead of in bed

Have you ever liked someone who your friends HATED?


yeah

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt?


yes.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
  

yes.

Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you?


pretty much, honestly.  i’m pretty open

Have you ever just felt like you could cry an ocean?


probably.

Are you dating the last person you talked to?


yes.

Would you live with someone without marrying them?


i am now

Is there someone you’d like to fix things with?


not really.

Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend?


my best friend doesn’t have a significant other right now

Who do you have texts from in your inbox?

lots of people

What do you do when you have a bad day?


cry or take a bath or read

Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
  

yes.

Will you be seeing your ex any time soon?


i highly doubt it

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
  

yes.

Do you want someone you can’t have?


no.

What did you realize today?


i don’t know

Is there a person from the past that you would like to talk to?


maybe

Do you regret letting someone walk out of your life?


no.

Do you care if people hate you?


not really, honestly

What time did you wake up today
?

around 10 ish

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

pajama pants

Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?


yes.

What were you doing at 4 am?


sleeping.

Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?


write a paper, i hate giving speeches

What’s something you cannot wait for?


graduating college in 2020 lol

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?


8

Are you a morning or night person?

night.

Do you reply to all of your texts?


most of the time.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?


jelly

What were you doing before you got on the computer?

taking a shower

What are your initials?


-

Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?


yes.

Have you had your birthday this year?


not yet.

What did you do yesterday?


work.

What will you be doing tomorrow?


work.

Is it hard to make you laugh?


nope.

Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?


yeah

How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2013?

i don’t know, that was a while ago

Have you ever dyed your hair?


yes.

Was New Year’s Eve enjoyable?


not too bad, we didn’t really do anything

If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be?

i have no idea

What would you change about your life right now?


nothing right now

Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?


forward.

Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?


40k

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?


yes.

Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?


usually

Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?


yes.

Could you use some sleep right now?


very much so

Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?


nah i’m older than 18 anyways

Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?


yes.

Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?


yes.

Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?


yes.

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?


yes.

Do you have somewhere you hide things you don’t want anyone else to find?

nahh

Have you ever had your heart broken?  

yeah

How many languages do you know?

just one

Do you have any piercings?

two

If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be?

i’d get my nose pierced or get some on my ear

On a scale from one to ten, how happy are you?

7

Have you ever cried uncontrollably on a friend’s shoulder before?

yeah

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

watching Cops

Do you enjoy Disney movies?

for the most part

Do you have a nervous habit? (e.g. biting nails, tapping feet, smoking)

i bite the inside of my cheeks and my nails

Have you ever had a girl best friend?

yes.

Would you date a 13 year old at the age you are now?

heck no.  not tryna go to jail

Whats your favorite type of flower?

lilies

Current favorite song?

livin on a prayer

Are you happy with your given name?

yes.

What’s a major fear or yours?  

crashing my car

Do you know anyone famous?  

not personally

Do you own a Bible?  

no

What color is your bedroom?  

brown or tan ish

Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?

yes.

Have you ever pierced your own body part or that of someone else?  

nope.

What did you eat for breakfast today?

hashbrowns

What’s the temperature outside?

1 degree fahrenheit

Will you go to college a virgin?

i did lol.

Do you keep jewelry or small items in cute little boxes?

nah, not anymore

What was the worst job you’ve had? Why was it so bad?

it’s tough between steak n shake and shoe carnival.  they were both pretty awful lol.  just poor fucking management

Do you wish you had naturally rosy cheeks?

i don’t really care

What is one drug you have no interest in trying?

everything pretty much

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

successful and happy.

Do you have a crush on anyone?

more than a crush.

Do you get along better with men or women?

it just depends honestly

Purple or chartreuse?

idc

Aliens or ghosts?

aliens.

Favorite alcoholic drink?

angry orchard or any kind of cider

Favorite store?

i shop online a lot @ shein

Favorite animal?

cats

Who do you love the most in the whole wide world?

my family and boyfriend.

[chaosamplified]

1: the meaning behind my url: chaoSAMplified. because it has Sam in it and Sam is my name (half of my name? I have 2 names now) and also because I thought I was really cool when I made it

2: a picture of me: my profile pic

3: how many tattoos I have and what they are: I have 0 currently

4: last time I cried and why: Wednesday because I was drunk and I listened to Mariana’s Trench

5: piercings I have: 2 lobe piercings in each ear but i only wear them in 1 ear

6: favorite band: Fall Out Boy

7: biggest turn offs: Republicanism

8: top 5 (insert subject): Anon didn’t give me a subject. Feel free to give me subjects lmao

9: tattoos I want: I want to get my t date on my arm (once I have a t date), something large on my left thigh and a lil ghost somewhere

10: biggest turn ons: I don’t even know I’ve had the same crush for like 5 years and the one other person I’ve had a crush on since then (maybe still do? Idk) is veryyyyy similar to him so uh. I literally don’t know

11: age: 18, 19 in 17 days!

12: ideas of a perfect date: Realistically like going to cedar point together just the two of us, idealistically like going on a week long road trip to the other side of the country and visiting the ocean

13: life goal: Get a Grammy

14: piercings I want: I don’t think I want any more

15: relationship status: Single and trying too hard

16: favorite movie: Nobody has an actual answer to this question. I guess I’d say The Imitation Game

17: a fact about my life: I had a personal protection order against someone at age 12? Idk

18: phobia: I’m a fearless bitch

19: middle name: Alexander 🤙

20: height: 5’1” for all of eternity

21: are you a virgin: Virginity is a social construct developed to slut shame women. Also as a Gay Trans that word has very little meaning at all

22: what’s your shoe size: 7

23: what’s your sexual orientation: We just went through this. Gay

24: do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs: I have smoked weed but don’t really enjoy it, never smoked cigarettes, yes drink, have lots of prescription drugs

25: someone you miss: Max :(

26: what’s one thing you regret: Not talking to my mom for 6 months in 2012

27: first celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: First of all I think of a person I know, not a celebrity. But Halsey is hot as hell. I’m so gay but Halsey man

28: favorite ice cream: Raspberry

29: one insecurity: b o o b

30: what my last text message says: From me: yeah no prob 🙂👍. From someone else: ok cool thank u lol

31: have you ever taken a picture naked: hnnnnng yeah

32: have you ever painted your room: I didn’t but my dad and sister painted mine while I was in France

33: have you ever kissed a member of the same gender: (I’m using gender instead of sex because sex is fucky): Yes a couple of ems

34: have you ever slept naked: Of course

35: have you ever danced in front of your mirror: Every single time I drink if I’m being honest

36: have you ever had a crush: Always

37: have you ever been dumped: Lots of times :-)

38: have you ever stole money from a friend: No but Charlie paid for a ton of my laundry once and I still have to pay him back

39: have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met: YES my boyfriend at the time was about to leave me at this place outside after an event but instead I got in this van with a whole bunch of his friends I didn’t know it was a mess

40: have you ever been in a fist fight: No I’m a bottom

41: have you ever snuck out of the house: Only once and it was to go with max to meijer at midnight and he bought a nerf gun and we shot at each other in his car in the michaels parking lot until like 2am and I have absolutely no regrets it’s still one of the best days of my life

42: have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back: I’m gonna say yes but also I’m not entirely sure how he feels so like. Probably yes

43: have you ever been arrested: No

44: have you ever made out with a stranger: No

45: have you ever met up with a member of the opposite gender somewhere: Yeah Alessandra and I just had lunch the other day. Jk I know what this is implying and I’m extremely gay and also no

46: have you ever left the house without telling your parents: This is the same as number 41

47: have you ever had a crush on your neighbor: Define neighbor?

48: have you ever ditched school to do something more fun: On my 16th birthday I stayed home so my dads girlfriend at the time could give me blonde highlights (yikes)

49: have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same gender: Yeah

50: have you ever seen someone die: No

51: have you ever been on a plane: Yes!

52: have you ever kissed a picture: Yikes probably

53: have you ever slept until 3: I hate that you say this like it’s a challenge, I do this at least 4 times a month

54: have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now: Yes and yes

55: have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by: Yes

56: have you ever made a snow angel: Yes

57: have you ever played dress up: It was my favorite thing when I was little (plot twist I’m trans now)

58: have you ever cheated while playing a game: Probably (ps I lose)

59: have you ever been lonely: Always

60: have you ever fallen asleep at work/school: So many times

61: have you ever been to a club: Yeah Lio and I went to Necto once lol

62: have you ever felt an earthquake: Yes! I was 5 and in California

63: have you ever touched a snake: Yes

64: have you ever ran a red light: I hope not

65: have you ever been suspended from school: No

66: have you ever had detention: No

67: have you ever been in a car accident: Yes but it wasn’t that bad, the car was totaled but everyone was fine

68: have you ever hated the way you look: Everyday babee

69: have you ever witnessed a crime: Yeah

70: have you ever pole danced: No

71: have you ever been lost: In a figurative or literal way? The answer to both is yes

72: have you ever been to the opposite side of the country: Yes I’ve been to California

73: have you ever felt like dying: Haha yeah

74: have you ever cried yourself to sleep: What are these questions of course I have

75: have you ever sang karaoke: Not in front of more than like 3 people

76: have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t: So many times lol yeet

77: have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose: YES

78: have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger: No

79: have you ever kissed in the rain: I’m trying to remember but I don’t think so?

80: have you ever sang in the shower: I’m a little bit shook myself by this but I honestly don’t think so?

81: have you ever made out in a park: Yes would recommend

82: have you ever dreamt that you married someone: Not like literally dreams no

83: have you ever glued your hand to something: Lol what no

84: have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole: No gross

85: have you ever gone to school partially naked: No what

86: have you ever been a cheerleader: No but I used to say it’s what I wanted to be when I grew up lol

87: have you ever sat on a rooftop: Unfortunately no

88: have you ever brushed your teeth: Yes?????

89: have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone: Not too scared but I don’t really like watching any movies alone

90: have you ever played chicken: Like the water game? Yes with max and his sisters it was honestly a grand time

91: have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on: No but goals

92: have you ever been told you’re hot but a complete stranger: Yes I’ve been on tinder

93: have you ever broken a bone: Nope

94: have you ever been easily amused: A friend told me the other day that I laugh at everything

95: have you ever laughed so hard you cried: Of course

96: have you ever mooned/flashed someone: No consent is important

97: have you ever cheated on a test: If you say you haven’t you’re a liar

98: have you ever forgotten someone’s name: Yep

99: have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real: Do you mean like too good to be real or like I’m dissociating and they literally don’t seem real cuz uhh

100: give us one thing about you that nobody knows: I’m alone in a room with a stranger in a bed that’s not my own (jk listen to my song Matches on YouTube https://youtu.be/Q-SGbIjLYEI)