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jsooly · 4 months ago

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death in the family (5) / sully family x human!daughter/sister!reader

synopsis, you're plagued with an uneasy feeling that persists day in and day out.

tw. you throw up once, depictions of anxiety

(1) / . . . / (10) / (11* - ur here! ☆)

+ chapters with an * beside it means that it’s following atwow plot line as opposed to disconnected scenarios

a week and a half passed and you were still drawing up empty on ideas to snatch spider from the RDA's clutches. as far as you were concerned, he was constantly with the recom team, sometimes in areas you couldn't access.

"they're going to try and bond with ikran," spider whispered over the comm you slipped on his wrist.

you scoffed, pressing onto your new comm choker. "already?"

"they really want to go 'full na'vi.'"

"you think they'll be able to do it? complete the ritual?"

"honestly..." you heard him sigh softly, his tone begrudging. "as much as i hate to admit it, yeah. they could probably manage it."

you dropped your head into your hands. with each passing day, the situation spiraled just a little further out of your control. sometimes you laid awake in bed staring at the ceiling, a war raging in your mind on what you could handle. this was quaritch you were talking about—the man who hunted and almost succeeded in killing your father once before.

the only thing that pushed you to get up in the morning was the fire burning in your heart. his entire team was dead set on killing your family and regardless of how anxious you were, under no circumstances were you going to let them catch the faintest whiff of the sully's new refuge—even if you didn't know how you'd do so.

"okay, i'll..." i don't know what i'll do, you wanted to scream. "i'll be in touch. stay safe, okay?"

"yeah, i will." spider said hurriedly before the line dropped.

as if your doubts weren't enough to paralyze you, a sinking sensation constantly weighed you down. like a lead ball rooted in your stomach, your gut was trying to tell you that something bad was going to happen. but every situation around you had the potential to crash and burn, you couldn't pinpoint what your premonition was trying to warn you about.

"y/n!" norm exclaimed when you wandered into the break room for a glass of water. he launched from his seat and studied your face carefully. "are you getting enough sleep?" he flattened the back of his hand against your forehead. "you look sick!"

you smiled, trying to reassure his nervous assessment of your state. "i haven't been sleeping well, lately. that's all."

he frowned. "lately? how long has this been going on?"

"uh..." you pursed your lips, pouring some water into your glass. "since they left, actually. it's only gotten worse now."

"i think we should take a medical assessment, just to be safe." he pulled out his tablet and tapped away on the transparent blue screen. "you've been avoiding all the poisonous flora while you're out, right?"

you rolled your eyes, shaking your head. "yes, i have. and i don't need an assessment, norm, i'm just adjusting."

his hands stilled and he slowly pocketed his tablet. he eyed you suspiciously but settled for trusting your word. "...if you say so."

afterwards, you retreated to your room. your thoughts trailed back to spider once again. could you switch out his exo-pack somehow? if the tracker was the problem, a simple switch of the mask could give him the freedom to slip away the minute he sees an opportunity.

you weren't naive, however. a trained solider like quaritch would definitely be able to identify the switch if he were to look hard enough. the exo-packs the research department had were old and weathered, nothing near as spanking new as the RDA's updated model.

you pursed your lips as you ruminated in your thoughts. your eyes caught on the faint silvery glow outside your window, even in the bright daylight.

eywa.

respectfully, she was annoying you. she was teasing you with wonder, with a message that you were clearly oblivious to. even worse, you had no way to communicate with her except stare at her spirits dumbly.

this was probably the fifteenth time her sprites popped up, hung around your person, and then disappeared into the forest. it was clockwork. you couldn't go a day without seeing those majestic tendrils floating in your vicinity. you were confused the first time she showed herself up in high camp, and you remained just as confused now.

you appreciated her presence as much as you could before it fluttered off. you sighed and shook your head slightly.

your comm buzzed to life. your fingers automatically raised to accept the call, a habit fostered over the years. "yeah?" you answered.

"they're gonna scale the hallelujah mountains around midday tomorrow. the mountains above that watering hole we used to go to."

you pursed your lips. "if you guys are going to be in close quarters with each other and the ikran, it's too much of a risk for me to try and follow behind you."

"no, you're totally right. i'm just letting you know so you know you have free reign on the ground if needed. their temporary base is near the watering hole, too."

oh? "that's great, spidey. thanks for letting me know." you hummed, the gears in your head turning. "they got backup masks for you? do you know?"

"they got a whole trunk of stuff, m'not sure what's in it, though. i would assume yes?"

"i'll snoop around tomorrow. how long can you hold your breath?"

"huh?"

you smiled to yourself as the pieces fell into place. "just be prepared to break your mask."

for the next few hours, you worked to modify one of the exo-packs to match the newer RDA versions. truthfully, they were just darker and thinner, ultimately covering less of the face.

you groaned as you gave up on your endeavor. there was no way the recoms would fall for some half-assed switcheroo like the one you were planning. you needed their model, one that was untouched by the military without any trackers of any sort.

am i really doing this? you asked yourself as you slung your bow and arrow over your chest and slipped out your bedroom window. yes, i am. you sighed in defeat as you rushed towards the RDA base again.

night was falling fast over awa'atlu and jake sully was counting heads for the night.

"four," he mumbled to himself as he ruffled lo'ak's head and gently pushed him inside the marui. "good job today, everyone. didn't hear about any trouble."

lo'ak grumbled under his breath as he crouched next to his mother, who caressed his cheek lovingly.

"why are you so upset, lo'ak?" she probed gently. "you had fun today. i saw you."

"he had fun with tsireya!" tuk teased, a wide grin on her face. "oooo, you liiike her!"

lo'ak's head snapped up, his golden eyes glaring. "shut up, tuk."

"hey." jake scolded him, a disapproving look on his face. "that's no way to talk to your sister."

lo'ak rolled his eyes and stormed off to his corner. neytiri sighed and threw more ingredients into the fire, the aromas spilling over into the air.

"why is your brother so upset, neteyam?" neytiri asked tiredly. it was always something with these children.

neteyam pursed his lips. "i think he's just missing y/n."

"we all are," kiri cut in, her tone clipped. "doesn't mean he can be an ass about it."

neteyam shrugged. lo'ak wasn't likely to hear anyone out. he'd probably sort through it himself, if anything. he was probably also at his limit of hearing him lecture his ear off.

"it's been weeks. the longest we've been without her." neteyam, ever the diplomat, reasoned. "we all process differently. you haven't been perfect either."

kiri sat up straighter, indignation written all over her face. "what is that supposed to—"

"okay, okay." jake cut in swiftly. "it's been a good day. let's not end on a bad note, yeah?"

the kids grumbled as they reluctantly bit their tongues.

"dad." lo'ak spoke up, drawing everyone's attention to the boundary of the marui. "your computer's buzzing."

for all the pride the RDA possessed, their base was sure easy to infiltrate. it helped that you were one person, already familiar with the layout and camera blind spots, and had a few sedatives at your disposal. gaining an access card was a piece of cake.

you buzzed into the research department, the halls empty and dark. surprisingly, all the scientists were sleeping. you assumed they had dorms, though you did stumbled upon the odd person slumped over their desk.

along the wall there were rows upon rows of exo-packs. you smiled to yourself, swiping one kit with ease and attaching it to your person. getting out was as easy as getting in, and you held onto that access card.

for this to work, you'd need to eliminate all suspicion that the new mask would be tampered with. if the recoms did have spare masks for spider, undoubtedly with trackers in them, you'd have to deactivate them and hide them away somewhere, and give spider a handheld tracker so that the recoms would still be able to see his movement, but could be discarded when he decided to make a run for it.

what if this was all for nothing? you suddenly asked yourself. your stomach sunk, twisted, and flipped all at once. what if you were just as helpless as they thought you were, and you couldn't protect those who mattered most to you?

you felt sick.

you slinked into your room, promptly dropping the new exo-pack on the bed along with your weapons. you stumbled out the door to grab some water.

shut up, you told yourself, aiming to console your raging sense of impending doom. nothing bad is going to happen, i'll make sure of it.

you didn't even believe yourself. your hands shook as you poured your glass. something bad is going to happen. something bad is going to happen.

you were convinced. despite your family safely tucked away in the refuge of the island clans and spider cooperating with quaritch himself, you were on the verge of snapping. you didn't feel something bad was going to happen, you knew it. something was about to go terribly wrong and you knew no matter what you did, it was going to occur anyways.

is this all for nothing?

you set your glass down and tripped over yourself racing to the bathroom. you didn't bother to put the lights on before you keeled over the toilet and threw up.

"y/n?" the light flickered on with a click! and norm stood in the doorway. his brows furrowed in concern. "are you okay?"

you gave him a deadpan look. do i look okay? you wanted to retort.

he smoothed the hair away from your face and really studied you. "okay, i'm not taking any chances." he gives you a stern look. "i need to give you a medical checkup."

you shook your head, drawing yourself to your feet and rinsing your mouth. "m'fine. just... tired." you mumbled before grabbing your toothbrush and cleansing the panic from your mouth.

"you're not fine. this is unorthodox, especially for you. just an hour of your time, if so much. what's your medical history?"

you blinked. growing up on hometree, nothing of the sort was recorded. you were treated as symptoms were presented, going about your day as normal once you were treated. "i don't think i have one?" you spit out the minty foam and packed away your toothbrush again.

norm slaps his forehead in realization. "oh, yes. okay, i'll call your dad to see—"

"no!" you whipped around and latched onto his wrist, your eyes wide. you gave norm an incredulous look. "you can't contact them in any way. what if the RDA picks up on the signal?"

norm paused, his mouth shutting as he pondered your words. his eyes narrowed, and you could see his mind searching for answers. then, "don't worry, bug, i'll encrypt and mask our frequency."

you shook your head, "they'll find them."

"you're being paranoid, y/n."

"they could."

norm's firm hand squeezed your shoulder. "they won't pick up on our conversation. i swear on my life, y/n, okay?"

you stared at him for a moment before relenting, momentarily shocked by your own outburst.

"besides, won't it be nice to see your dad, mom, and the kids again?" norm attempted to lighten the mood.

he left the small room without another word, typing and clicking away at his computer.

you shook your head, struggling to regain your bearings. you're fine, you tried to soothe yourself. you're fine, and so is everyone else.

"your family's on the line," norm was beside you again, grinning as he grabbed your wrists and strung you towards the computer.

"wait—" already? what were you going to say to them?

distance was the strangest thing. put a bit of it between you and the nineteen years you've been by their side seemed foreign all of a sudden.

he sat you down in front of the monitor and you're still reeling, head tripping over itself to catch up to the fact that this was happening, your heart beating obnoxiously loud (could norm hear it?), and the uneasy feeling of something crawling over your skin.

you held your breath as the call connected, the picture of your family coming to life.

you pressed your lips together in a tight-lipped smile. "hey."

jake adjusted the camera, his forearm blocking most of the view for a moment before he drew back, squinting at the screen. then recognition washed over his face and he smiled. "y/n."

neytiri crouched beside him, a bright grin on her face. "how lovely to see you, ma'ite."

"sa'nok, nga 'ur tse." (mother, you look well.) you found yourself smiling, the nerves festering in your body a minute ago vanishing as if they were never there.

jake squinted harder at the screen, peering closely. "are you sleeping enough?"

you rolled your eyes as norm hovered over your shoulder. "no, she is not. which is why i called, actually..."

you sat back as norm and your parents discussed your medical history, but there was nothing out of the ordinary that would explain your insomnia or your severe anxiety.

"this seems sudden," neytiri mused, her brows knitted. her eyes darted to you. "y/n, you must visit your grandmother more often. she will be able to help you rest."

jake shook his head, the motion barely detectable. "norm, what medicine does she need?"

"let's not jump to medicine just yet. neytiri, you said this was sudden. has she never shown these symptoms before?"

"what symptoms?"

"paranoia, an impending sense of doom, uh..." norm glanced at you as he listed them off. "trouble sleeping, you know, stuff like that."

neytiri pursed her lips, taking a peek at her husband. "no, she's never..."

"never seen this before." jake finished, his face full of concern and sympathy. his poor baby suffering oceans away from him, and he couldn't do anything but stare at your forlorn state with guilt.

"no, we have." lo'ak piped up, scooting into frame. your face lifted at the sight of him. as if following his lead, the other kids slowly trickled into frame.

"remember when the RDA first touched down?" lo'ak continued. neteyam's eyes brightened with understanding. "she didn't let me wander around cuz she had a 'bad feeling.'"

"yeah, she was insistent. and didn't sleep after, either. for days." neteyam added. "there've been moments since then where she gets these fits of restlessness and unease."

you shifted in your seat awkwardly. it was odd for everyone to be talking about you as if you weren't there.

"so about two years ago it became noticeable." norm hummed, noting the new information down. "seems like her insomnia is a byproduct of her anxiety. they occur together."

"so, medicine?" jake cut in.

norm pursed his lips. "we have some, but they're strong. i don't wanna put her on those yet." he dragged a chair beside yours. "you know, this call doubles as a reassurance, y/n. they're safe. you can call them as many times as you like to remind you of that when you begin to spiral."

sure, they're safe now. what about when the recoms get their ikran? what about the day a call glitches and the channel is no longer encrypted? you had to find solutions for all these problems or you swore you were going to lose it.

"actually," you leaned forward, finally speaking up. "i'll be fine. i don't want to risk the RDA catching onto the call signals."

norm frowned. "y/n."

"what?"

"i told you i would never let something like that happen."

"you don't know that for sure." you muttered. before norm could protest, you put on a smile and focused on your family. "i hope you guys are having fun. are you swimming a lot?"

tuk grinned, immediately prattling off. "yeah! and we're learning this cool new hand language—"

"sign language." neteyam corrected.

"—because we're underwater for a looong time! i can hold my breath for two minutes!"

your eyes widened. "wooow, tuk. you're only gonna get better from there, huh?"

"yeah, we practice everyday."

after a few more minutes of catching up with each of your siblings, you finally signed off for the night. norm gave you a look.

"what?" you asked defensively.

he shook his head. "you want some sleeping pills?"

you pursed your lips. might as well. "sure."

norm gave you some melatonin gummies before sending you off to bed. he said he'd check on you in an hour or so to make sure you were asleep.

you sighed as you laid your head to rest on your bunk. and for the first time in what seemed like forever, your eyes drooped down, and down, and down, and...

. . .

thanks for reading! <3

taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @dae-dreamer @delirious-dolce @strawbaerriesvt @avatar-lover @ryiana @lxon-kxnnedy @zukki33 @chalahyung01 @ssc7514 @shmaptainbonky @aureolinb @whosbibi2000 @childishname @nen-nyy @moonchildxoxx

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defanged-waterlily · 2 months ago

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perverted therapist who constantly has to try to hold herself together when i talk to her about everything wrong with me.

preying on my weakness and agreeability by suggesting increasingly humiliating solutions to my problems. she tells me that a step to healing my childhood trauma is to start wearing diapers in my free time, and touches herself at night to the thought of it.

she steps further, suggesting that i start wearing them to our sessions. telling me that to depend on others more will truly help me. to serve and do as they'd like. she tells me to start calling her "mommy", supposedly to heal parental issues. something feels off to me. she has an odd look in her eyes. but she's a professional, and i'm one who does as they're told.

a few sessions later, i'm in her office on my knees. i'm in a dress far too short to hide my soaked padding with her cock thrusting into my throat. that nasty oral fixation has hurt my fingers and damaged my teeth, but she knows just the way to begin taking care of it.

while she's still fucking my mouth, pushing my mind further. seeing how much i'll bring myself down because i trust her. or maybe she's just telling me exactly what i want to hear.

"i have some homework for you this week. that girl you said you live with? let her use you. it'll help that oral fixation and be good practice allowing yourself to be so low. you have a problem with pride."

my "pride problem" was identified when i told her that i don't want to display my diapers all the time at home and the office, and that i want to be able to cover them up.

suggesting that i begin taking sedatives to help my anxiety.

slowly reshaping me into a docile, servile little thing until one session, she takes me to her car, and i do not question. she told me that questioning things holds me back from change. i do not speak. she told me that speaking when not spoken to is what gives me so much conversational trouble.

i'm doing so good. i'm doing everything she told me. i even wet myself and hardly noticed. i'm sure she'll be so proud of me when she asks how my progress is. she puts me in the back of her car. i sit politely with my hands folded in my lap, as she told me. she said it would help with my nail biting. i keep my eyes on her. she told me that i should always be looking at one of my betters (i think she calls them that to help me feel okay being vulnerable), as it helps me not to get lost in my maladaptive daydreaming, and keeps me always prepared to listen to what i'm told.

we pull up to her house. i sit and wait for instruction, as she told me my presumptuousness is a problem. i see her stare at me through the window as she gets out and makes her way to my side. she really does care.

she brings me inside and locks a collar around my neck. she told me that i should always accept gifts with much gratitude. i drop to my hands and knees in her home, as i need to learn that it's okay to be small and insignificant. she pulls my leash toward her, and my mouth opens so naturally as she begins to use my throat.

i'm going to be all better soon, i can feel it. she's helped me so much.

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rebeccathenaturalist · 2 years ago

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ETA: I wrote up a guide on clues that a foraging book was written by AI here!

[Original Tweet source here.]

[RANT AHEAD]

Okay, yeah. This is a very, very, very bad idea. I understand that there is a certain flavor of techbro who has ABSOLUTELY zero problem with this because "AI is the future, bro", and we're supposed to be reading their articles on how to use AI for side hustles and all that.

I get that ID apps have played into people's tendency to want quick and easy answers to everything (I'm not totally opposed to apps, but please read about how an app does not a Master Naturalist make.) But nature identification is serious stuff, ESPECIALLY when you are trying to identify whether something is safe to eat, handle, etc. You have to be absolutely, completely, 100000% sure of your ID, and then you ALSO have to absolutely verify that it is safely handled and consumed by humans.

As a foraging instructor, I cannot emphasize this enough. My classes, which are intended for a general audience, are very heavy on identification skills for this very reason. I have had (a small subsection of) students complain that I wasn't just spending 2-3 hours listing off bunches of edible plants and fungi, and honestly? They can complain all they want. I am doing MY due diligence to make very sure that the people who take my classes are prepared to go out and start identifying species and then figure out their edibility or lack thereof.

Because it isn't enough to be able to say "Oh, that's a dandelion, and I think this might be an oyster mushroom." It's also not enough to say "Well, such-and-such app says this is Queen Anne's lace and not poison hemlock." You HAVE to have incredibly keen observational skills. You HAVE to be patient enough to take thorough observations and run them through multiple forms of verification (field guides, websites, apps, other foragers/naturalists) to make sure you have a rock-solid identification. And then you ALSO have to be willing to read through multiple sources (NOT just Wikipedia) to determine whether that species is safely consumed by humans, and if so if it needs to be prepared in a particular way or if there are inedible/toxic parts that need to be removed.

AND--this phenomenon of AI-generated crapola emphasizes the fact that in addition to all of the above, you HAVE to have critical thinking skills when it comes to assessing your sources. Just because something is printed on a page doesn't mean it's true. You need to look at the quality of the information being presented. You need to look at the author's sources. You need to compare what this person is saying to other books and resources out there, and make sure there's a consensus.

You also need to look at the author themselves and make absolutely sure they are a real person. Find their website. Find their bio. Find their social media. Find any other manners in which they interact with the world, ESPECIALLY outside of the internet. Contact them. Ask questions. Don't be a jerk about it, because we're just people, but do at least make sure that a book you're interested in buying is by a real person. I guarantee you those of us who are serious about teaching this stuff and who are internet-savvy are going to make it very easy to find who we are (within reason), what we're doing, and why.

Because the OP in that Tweet is absolutely right--people are going to get seriously ill or dead if they try using AI-generated field guides. We have such a wealth of information, both on paper/pixels and in the brains of active, experienced foragers, that we can easily learn from the mistakes of people in the past who got poisoned, and avoid their fate. But it does mean that you MUST have the will and ability to be impeccably thorough in your research--and when in doubt, throw it out.

My inbox is always open. I'm easier caught via email than here, but I will answer. You can always ask me stuff about foraging, about nature identification, etc. And if there's a foraging instructor/author/etc. with a website, chances are they're also going to be more than willing to answer questions. I am happy to direct you to online groups on Facebook and elsewhere where you have a whole slew of people to compare notes with. I want people's foraging to be SAFE and FUN. And AI-generated books aren't the way to make that happen.

#foraging #mushroom foraging #plant foraging #mushrooms #edible plants #edible mushrooms #wild foods #food #nature #AI #fungus #fungi #poisonous mushrooms #poisonous plants #botany #mycology #rant

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lizardanya · 4 months ago

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part of my beef with pesterquest is that they kind of undersell how casually reactionary the trolls are ideologically?

like, i get that we’re doing a “deconstruct the entire character in like 20 minutes of text”, and “redeem/fix their problems to railroad them into a happy ending” thing but part of the reason why friendsim worked better, i feel, is because they didn’t need to do a ‘why you should find this character likeable’ speed run, because there’s over thirty characters and it’s an introductory game anyway, if you don’t like this ultimately background character from a larger game who cares. you’re not losing anything.

pesterquest can’t do that bc 1. they’re established characters, with established fanbases, and god forbid somebody’s blorbo isn’t presented in the best light 2. some of the routes are genuinely just written by the people for whom these characters are their blorbos who god forbid aren’t presented in the best light.

and so in homestuck proper, we get a group of trolls who, for the most part (the notable exception being largely feferi, even though even she has her moments), are very passively okay with a very oppressive society, while also being very passively okay with breaking the rules of said oppressive society sometimes. and in pesterquest that aspect, that contradiction that is nonetheless very poignant is kind of lost.

terezi, in pesterquest, when pushed says that she knows the system sucks, but it’s just the way things are, and she wants to protect the ones she loves and maybe if she sticks with it long enough she can change the system from the inside or whatever. and i just don’t think she’d fucking say that.

terezi, fundamentally, wants to be a corrupt lawyer, because it’s fun. she has a knack for manipulation, one of her first interactions with the humans is manipulating someone to death, and then she does a very similar thing to dave again. yes, she has complex feelings about it, but she still does it, she’s kind of really good at it, that’s kind of her entire power set: seeing how events pan out, and being able to identify the points that need to be changed for a desired outcome. she wants to become a corrupt lawyer because she’s a 13 year old who was sold on the idea of toying with people as a job.

a big thing with the trolls is that none of them are really fully sold on the ideology of alternia, even the ones most ideologically inclined towards it don’t fully act on it in their personal life. and this is just something that happens a lot in real life: bigots, even staunch ones, often make exceptions when it comes to personal matters, often buy into these systems without uncompromisingly adopting their principles. yes, it is hypocritical. yes, terezi wanting to be a corrupt lawyer while still caring about karkat is hypocritical. no, it’s not a contradiction that needs to be explained away.

a lot of the most interesting character work regarding the trolls is this exploration of their personal wants and desires being at odds with the platonic ideal of themselves they were sold on, writing that off as more or less all of them going “well there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism i guess!” as a way to absolve their moral character is just boring and sucks.

#my hot takes #homestuck #pesterquest #terezi pyrope #karkat vantas #meta #analysis

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sexy-monster-fucker · 5 months ago

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Okay, okay I'll bite :) if you do write Rossi can we get grumpy, jealous old man who decides actually yes he would very much like to devour you and he's gonna... que possessive kissing and smut?

No problem if not but thank you for listening 😊

AH FINALLY A ROSSI REQUEST I immediately had inspiration strike with this!

SSA David Rossi x BAU!Reader

Summary: When a case leads the team to having to go undercover in a swingers club, the youngest woman and oldest man of the team get paired together. Tensions are high, leading to some confrontations.

CW: AGE GAP, jealous!Rossi, jealous!Reader, encounters with unsubs, murder, sprinkle of angst?, possessive!Rossi, possible misuse of Italian phrases, fingering, p in v,

a/n: first time writing for Rossi be gentle on me guys 😭

~~~

“What if there’s two of them?”

Dr. Spencer Reid, your insanely intelligent colleague proposed. Causing a new light to shine down on the case before you. Homicides, always a male and a female, always drastically different in age, keys hidden in the male’s pocket. Recent findings pointed to the unsub, or now unsubs, striking at a swingers meetup. Notorious in this city.

“Just because their bodies are found together doesn’t mean they’re being taken at the same time,” you added.

“Exactly! It would make perfect sense. An older male to lure in the younger female victims, and a younger female to rope in the older males,” Reid proclaimed.

“They’d blend in perfectly,” Hotch stated matter-of-factly.

“So you’re saying we have a killing duo on our hands?” Rossi questioned.

“But how has no one been able to identify who they’ve left with? If they are striking at the same club every single time, someone would’ve had to seen something,” Emily nibbled on the tip of her pen as she thought.

“When you’re somewhere like that, you try not to notice others. Usually swingers have their eyes set on one other couple, one they’ve most likely seen there before. We’re looking for a couple who are set on taking out a new member of the party. Someone who wouldn’t be familiar with anyone else,” Hotch answered.

“So they wouldn’t even notice that something was out of the norm,” Morgan added.

“Looks like someone is going to need to go undercover,” J.J. looked around.

That made the air in the room tighten. It was always a huge risk letting an agent out into the active scene. Let alone two.

“Y/L/N, David. You two will have to do this,” Hotch locked eyes with you. Brow stern against his forehead.

“What?” You asked, confused by his certainty.

No one else on the Team knew of you and Rossi’s quiet falling out. Rossi had taken you home during a high risk case. Refusing to let any of the women go home alone. Leading to you and Rossi sharing a few drinks inside your apartment. Alcohol causing a personal topic to arise between you. Ending with you straddling Rossi’s lap as the two of you interlocked mouths. Hands roaming each other’s bodies before Rossi pulled back. “We can’t do this,” he could not longer look you in the eyes. Breaking something deep inside you. Allowing your anger to persevere, storming off to your room and locking the door.

Things had never been the same between you.

“Oldest male on the team, and the youngest female. Sounds like their M.O. to me,” Reid chirped.

Your eyes darted to Rossi, who was as calm and collected as ever. Seemingly unbothered by Hotch’s order.

“H-Hotch—“

“It’s an order, Agent,” Hotch sternly shut down your pleas.

You sighed. Composing yourself. Preparing for the directions you were going to receive.

For the next few hours, you were prepped for your night. Carefully being instructed on how to act to draw the killers in. Clothing and jewelry being picked out for you, down to the most minor details. Hair pulled back in a high-ponytail as to make you seem younger. Decorated with some expensive looking jewelry and a full face of makeup. Dress resting mid-thigh. Rossi wore a nice button-down, opened at the top to reveal a gold chain dangling from his neck.

Hotch and Morgan dropped you off a long walks away from the club. Repeating everything you had previously been coached on.

“Aaron, we’ve got this. We can hear you in our ears and everything,” Rossi calmed him.

“If I tell you to back out, you back out,” Hotch locked eyes with you.

“Yes sir,” you nodded.

Rossi got out, silently holding the door for you. Offering his hand to help you out. Taking it as to play into character. Knowing this would be your hardest challenge of the evening: Having to play nice with David. Interlocking arms as you began down the sidewalk. No words being spoken for many blocks.

“You look beautiful,” Rossi complimented.

“Don’t flatter me,” you rolled your eyes, voice not above a whisper.

Finally turning the corner to see hoards of couples of all ages nonchalantly walking into the building. You were on high alert. Trying to already detect the suspects based off how they looked at you.

Rossi’s arm snaked around your waist, hand resting on your hip. You leaned your body into his side. Trying to solidify the part you were selling. He nodded at the bouncer as you walked inside. Heading to the bar as you had been told to, ordering a drink for both of you. Having to fake some conversation and a certain kind of innocence.

“Remember, they will want to approach you. Make sure not to coax anyone in,” Morgan said in your ear.

“Reid will be in there shortly to keep an eye. Y/N, when you get him alone, Reid will be waiting for your signal to apprehend him. Rossi has cuffs hidden,” Hotch reassured in your ear.

Your eyes remained on Rossi. Fingers twirling his loose fitting tie around his neck. His eyes fixated on yours, occasionally dropping to look at your cleavage hanging out of your top. Not so casually checking you out with a smile.

“Have you ever done anything like this, David?”

“Swinging?” He laughed, “Of course not. It was all the rage when I was younger. Just never tickled my fancy.”

“What about having a pretty young girl throwing herself at you?” You flirted, hooded eyes staring up at him. Closing the distance between you.

Rossi’s mouth hung open as you got nose to nose with him. Unable to deny how flustered you were getting him. Sweet aroma filling his nose as he fought himself from leaning in and kissing you. Knowing how inappropriate it would be. That being the reason he had shut you down before. Not wanting to have anymore new rules made because he got overly friendly with someone. No matter how badly he wanted you.

“Hey,” a male voice pulled you away from Rossi.

Turning on your heel to face the older man. A young blonde woman hooked to his side. Both of them moderately attractive. Perfectly fitting the description of the unsubs.

“Hi,” you dolled up your voice as you fluttered your lashes at him. Rossi’s hand splayed across your lower back. Fingers digging into the tender skin.

“We couldn’t help but notice you two from across the room. You guys come here often?” the young girl asked, her attention fully on your partner.

“Actually, our first time,” Rossi’s deep voice had a hint of flirtation on it.

“Oh wow!” the older man raised his eyebrows with his words, “Well, I’m Craig. And this is my Penny.” Extending his hand out to shake yours. Smiling as you exchanged pleasantries together. Rossi and Penny doing the same.

“I’m David, and this is Y/N,” Rossi smiled, making sure to keep his eyes locked in on the girl.

“So are you guys looking for someone for the night?” Craig asked casually.

“Uh— I believe that’s how all this works right?” Rossi chuckled softly. Trying his best to play it completely casual. Both of you knowing there was a good chance this was the couple you were looking for.

Craig laughed at Rossi’s ignorance, “Pretty much. We have fun tonight and bring them home in the morning. Now, David, I’m gonna need you to be real sweet and nice to my beautiful Penny. She can sometimes be feisty, be prepared for the craziest night of your life.”

Rossi cocked a brow at the young woman before him. Taking a step away from you to inch closer to her.

A feeling you had been fighting all night finally began to boil up inside you. You knew it was all an act. But something about Rossi acting like he was interested in her made your stomach flip. Knowing you could not show any hint of jealousy. Deciding to plunge yourself head first into the unsub.

You walked closer to him, hands flattening against his chest. “So I guess that leaves you and me,” you looked up at him through your lashes. The man before you sighed, toothy grin painting his face. You could feel Rossi’s eyes digging into you from behind. Not even giving him a side glance. His touch burned against your skin in a way that had every hair standing on end. Knowing something was off about him. Feeling a pit forming in your stomach and knot in your throat. Having to keep composure.

“Why don’t we get outta here?” He suggested. Offering him a girlish giggle. Allowing him to take your hand in his to lead you away.

Rossi’s chest burned. Mouth running completely dry as he watched a killer pull you away. Having to take a deep breath before giving his attention back to the other killer.

“Don’t be so tense, old timer. Craig will treat her good,” Penny swiped her fingers up his chest. Rossi bit his tongue. Teeth grinding together as he followed behind the girl. Leading to a remote room off to the side. Pulling him through the curtain with her, hands roaming his body. Rossi was noticeably tense.

“I know how to help you relax,” she dropped to her knees before him. Hands ghosting up his legs, stopping when she felt something stiff in his pocket. Doeing her eyes up at him, “What’s in there~?”

Rossi was quick to grab the handcuffs out of his pocket. Jingling the chain in front of her. A soft smirk on his lips.

“Wow, didn’t expect someone like you to be into that sort of thing,” she cooed, “Bring those for little ole me?”

Rossi’s finger tapped under her chin, urging her to stand. Quickly grabbing her and pinning her against the table in front of him. Locking the cuffs around her wrists especially tight, “I always have to keep cuffs for scumbags like you and your friend. You’re under arrest for the murders of several goers to this club.”

Penny scoffed. Fighting back against his grip, rolling her body onto the floor. Rossi was quick to pin her in her place, holding her down firm, “Quit resisting!” Patting down and not finding any weapons on her. Realizing she was a distraction so Craig could get rid of the women first, then come and take care of the men.

“You’ll never get to her in time. Craig’s already got that beautiful face of hers cut to shreds,” Penny growled, demonically smiling over her shoulder. Sending a certain chill down David’s spine.

“Reid! I need you to come keep hands on her. I’m going to get Y/N!” Rossi shouted into his hidden mic as he kept the young woman pinned to the ground.

Reid quickly sprinted into the club room, handcuffs dangling from his long fingers. Rossi quickly grabbed them from him as he hurried to the side you had been taken to.

The Killer had you pinned against a wall somewhere behind the building. Nose trailing your neck. Causing you to lose your breath. Still having to pretend like you were enjoying your time with him.

“Does it make you feel like a fucking whore?”

Your heart sank. Mouth running dry when the sound of his hands shimming in his pocket rang in your ears.

“What?”

“Running off with some random guy? While my girl is in there showing your man how to properly get laid?” His hand trailed up your exposed thigh.

“I thought that was why everyone was here?”

“Men can’t help their need to breed as many women as possible. That’s what you’re good for. That’s why I’m making sure my sweet girl gives your man everything he’s been missing,” his voice disgusted you.

The cold blade flattened against your thigh. Fear seeping into your veins for the first time tonight. Gasping shallowly. Swiftly kneeing him at the crotch. Causing him to stumble backwards if only for a moment.

The door being kicked out caused you to jump.

There was Rossi. Panting and hair disheveled. Lights of the club illuminating him like your guardian angel. Rossi did not hesitate to layout the man in front of you. Clean fist to the face causing Craig to hit the ground. Pinning him down as he continued punching him over and over again. Blood splattered in the air momentarily before Rossi realized what he was doing. Flipping him over onto his back to cuff him just like he had Penny.

“You’re done! No more coaxing couples away for your sick fantasies!” Rossi barked down at him, firm hand holding his head against the ground. Hotch and Morgan were quick inside. Guns held to protect them. Morgan allowed Rossi off him, escorting the killer out to the troopers.

Rossi’s hand flattened against his hair. Turning quickly to look at you. Back still pressed firmly against the wall, hand gripping at your chest. Still shocked that he had pulled a weapon on you. “Oh God, Y/N,” Rossi came over, hands cupping both sides of your face, “Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head, unable to form words. Feeling tears suddenly burning down your cheeks. Losing yourself in fear just for a moment. Rossi’s brows were upturned, his concern for you abundantly clear on his face. Eyes scanning every inch of you with worry. Suddenly pulling you into a tight hug. Arms wrapping around and a hand resting on your head. Hips lips pressing a tender kiss into your scalp. Your arms wrapped around him, nestling your face into his shoulder.

Finally feeling safe again. Steadying out your breath into his skin, “Thank you, David.”

You knew the BAU would not let anything happen to you. However, whenever you’re off alone with someone who has the intent to murder you fear finds a way of crawling under your skin. And when you felt his weapon drawl and no one was around, it truly took over.

Hotch’s hand flattened against your arm, “Are you alright?”

You nodded, “He had just pulled out his knife. H-He didn’t hurt me.”

“Good,” Hotch nodded, giving a reassuring look to Rossi as he walked through the door to follow behind Derek.

Rossi kept right next to you. Arm wrapping around you. Similar to before. Only now you felt engulfed by him. Taken aback by how scared he had looked. And how he held you so closely now. Not letting anyone pry you away. Walking you back to your other team members. All of which were equally as concerned. All of them examining and hugging you.

An overwhelming rush of exhaustion washed over you. Excusing yourself and crawling into the back of one of the SUVs. Waiting for whoever the driver would be to take the wheel and take you home. Not concerned with going to the office for your own vehicle. Finally having a moments peace. Alone.

Minutes ticked by when you were jolted aware by the sound of the drivers door opening. Jumping, nervous system still in defense mode. Sitting up to see Rossi taking his seat. Eyes looking back at you in the rear view. Soft, squinted eyes greeted you with a smile.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’s just me,” Rossi’s mature voice softly reassured. You sighed, attempting to fully sit up. Rossi held his hand up at you, “Relax. Lay down and I’ll wake you when we get there.” Something about his voice had a warmth washing over you. Comforting you even more than being alone had.

You drifted in and out of a light slumber. Instinctively knowing all the turns and curves to your place. Coming to when you felt him pull into a parking spot. Before you could sit up, Rossi had already gotten out and was opening the door for you. Extending his ring clad hand out to help you to your feet. A quiet “thank you” meekly escaped you.

The walk to your apartment door was completely silent. The click of your heels on the pavement rattling the peaceful symphony of the night. Chill of the breeze pricking at your skin. Turning on your heel when you finally reached the door. Smiling at Rossi, “Well… thank you, again. For everything.”

Rossi looked around, tucking his face down in an attempt to hide the glow of his cheeks. Tonight made him realize just how much he cared about you. Denying for months that certain tug in his chest when he would see you smile or hear you laugh. How the smell of your perfume would linger deep inside him. Bringing him back to the last time he had brought you home.

Brown eyes looked into yours. Dimly yellow porch light illuminated his face. Admiring your hero before you. Trying to push down your feelings for him. Having to respect the boundary he had set with you. No matter how badly it hurt you.

You began fiddling with your lock. Key clicking inside. Looking over your shoulder one last time to tell Rossi bye.

Surprised with the look on his face.

Sad eyes met yours. Glossy in the pale light. Eyebrows furrowed together with concern. A hint of frustration shown on his jaw. Locked tightly while his nostrils flared.

“Y/N—“

Rossi reached for you when you began inside. That was when you saw the blood and bruises on his knuckles. Turning quickly and taking his hand in yours, “Oh, Rossi. Why didn’t you let the medics fix this?”

Fingers lightly tapped at the open wound. Causing Rossi to scrunch his nose up in pain. Flickering your gaze up to his face. “Come in and let me get you bandaged,” you wrapped your hand around his wrist pulling him in the door with you. Leading him into your kitchen to take a seat at the island. Sighing as he sat on one of the tall stools.

“It’s not that bad—“ he protested as he watched you walk over and lock the door.

“Just let me help you,” you breathed out, walking over to your sink and squatting. Looking under the cabinet for your first aid kit. Rummaging through all the old cleaning supplies and sponges still in their wrapper. Finally seeing the transparent box with a red heart on the front. Taking your place in front of Rossi as the box laid open on the countertop.

Taking a wet cloth and dabbing the dried blood from his knuckles. Rossi’s eyes locked into your face the entire time. Watching how your closed mouth smile never faltered. How gentle your hands were with his gashes and bruises. Admiring how your fingers traced the lines and bumps on his hands. Like you wanted to learn every blemish and scar.

“You really let that guy have it, didn’t you?”

Rossi chuckled.

Truly he had not even realized he was beating the unsub up as bad as he was. Lost in his rage for you. His instincts telling him to show the guy a lesson. To somehow avenge your honor. Jealousy playing a part in his anger.

“It’s like I blacked out,” Rossi sighed.

“Never seen you get so angry at a case.”

“Well. Your safety isn’t on the line every case,” Rossi nonchalantly confessed. Causing your eyes to bounce up to his suddenly. Full, brown orbs meeting yours with a smile. Shaking off the heat in your face. Focusing back on his hand, getting the last bit of tape around it. Hair falling down loosely in front of your face.

Rossi’s other hand came up to tuck it behind your ear. You looked up at him through your lashes. Hooded eyes meeting yours. A closed mouth smile plastered across his face. Hand lingering on your cheek.

“I shouldn’t have ever let you go,” his soft voice breathed out.

“It was part of the mission, Rossi—“

“That’s not what I mean,” Rossi leaned in, planting his lips to yours. Hand delicately caressing the side of your face. Body overloading with feelings. Unsure if you should allow this to happen. Wanting so badly to melt into him. He was the one who set the boundary. And now he’s here in your apartment. Kissing you.

“David, please…” you breathed out, begging, “Don’t string me on again. I can’t handle… can’t handle you leaving me again.”

“Shhh,” he reassured, “I won’t. I promise you have me. I’m not walking away this time.”

You pressed into him. Deepening the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Rossi’s hands gripped your hips, softly cascading down to your ass. Feeling the plump skin through your hiked up dress. Fingers daring to pull the material the rest of the way up.

“I’m sorry that son of a bitch even put his hands on you,” Rossi grumbled. Possessive nature showing. Calloused digits digging into your flesh. Rising off the stool so that your bodies could meet.

“Don’t be sor—“

“I wanted to kill him,” Rossi growled into your mouth, “Knock his fucking teeth in.”

Something about the tone on his voice had you weak in the knees. Maybe it was the grip he had on your ass. Maybe it was the feeling of his semi-hard pressing into your front.

“That asshole didn’t even know who he was dealing with. Hands on my girl… I should’ve shot him,” Rossi continued as he walked you back into the living room.

His girl.

Shocking you with how quickly he delved into you. Clearly fed up with having to hide anything he was feeling. Wanting to make it known how much he cherished you. Just a sliver of how important you were to him.

You fell onto the couch when it met the back of your knees. Rossi crawled on top of you, hands roaming up your exposed thighs. Fingers splaying on both sides of his face as he latched back onto your lips. Dress hiking up as he found his place between your legs.

Rossi’s tongue split your lips. Licking up into your mouth. Wanting to taste every bit of you. Devouring your lips with his.

His hands found the hem of your panties. Cold rings tickling your heated skin. Lips planting themselves on your neck. Decorating wet kisses along the skin. Catching a moan in your throat when his teeth grazed a soft spot.

“Bellissima,” Rossi muttered.

Sitting back on his knees to pull your panties down your legs. Exposing your soaking core to the cool air of your apartment. Sending a shiver up your spine. Causing air to hitch in your throat. Doe eyeing him innocently.

“What is it?” Rossi’s soft expression had you seeing spots. Face completely flushed at his gravely tone. Teasing you as if his fingers were not mere inches from where you wanted them most.

“Please,” you pouted.

That sad face had his heart tugging. Skipping a beat with the way the dim light of the kitchen reflected so beautifully in your eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he dipped down to press his lips back against yours. Fingers finally dipping between your folds. Pulling a guttural gasp from you. Hands gripping his shoulders as you wide-eyed him.

Swirling gently around your clit, enjoying the way your face contorted in pleasure. Finally inserting one of his thick fingers into you. Forcing an arch from your back at the sudden fullness. Brows pressing together and your mouth forming an ‘O’ shape.

“You’re so wet, amore,” Rossi smiled lips kissing down to the exposed pieces of breast that peaked through the top of your dress. Lightly sinking his teeth into the meaty flesh. Biting a soft purple bruise. Marking you as his.

“Dave,” you moaned as he curled a finger inside. His tongue flattened against the bruise on your chest, soothing the burning sting for a moment. Trailing back up to your neck. “Should I put one here too? Make sure everyone knows?” his tone was dark as his canine gently grazed. Moaning breathlessly for him. Fingers still coaxing you towards your finish. Thumb stimulating your nub.

Hand tangling in his hair as you began grinding against his fingers. A gruff chuckle vibrated in David’s chest, “So needy.”

“I need it,” you whined as your nails scratched at his scalp. Feeling yourself so close to the edge. Chasing your high on his hand. Fingers that were perfectly made to fit you. To please you.

“Give it to me,” Rossi kissed below your ear. Hot breath stinging your skin. Eyes rolling back as you quivered around him. Moaning loudly as you fluttered around his fingers. Feeling a burn in your lower half that perfectly warmed you. Loving how he smiled, watching your face with lust blown eyes.

Decorating your hot skin with his gentle lips. Finishing with a passionate one on your lips. Pulling his fingers from you. Admiring the way they glistened with your juices. Placing them between his lips. Humming in satisfaction, “Next time I’ll have to taste it directly from the source.”

You smiled, somehow blushing at his words. Fingers petting down his back. Never having been with someone this enamored by you. Wanting every little piece of you only for himself. Claiming you as his and his alone.

“Do you have it in you for me?” David kissed you gently as he sat up, removing his button-down above you. Butterflies floated around your stomach. Anticipation causing you so much excitement. You nodded aggressively. Sitting up to help him remove his clothing. Your hands tugging his belt out of its loops. Throwing it to the side as you ran your hands against his bare chest.

“I want you inside me,” you kissed his neck. Lips turning hungry against his tan skin. Biting into his shoulder momentarily. Rossi groaned, fingers tugging down the zipper along your spine. Dress falling loose around your shoulders, making it easy for him to pull it over your head. Tossing it aside somewhere that did not matter right now. Both of you shimmying to remove the other’s clothes; Rossi’s hands on your bra and yours on his zipper.

Rossi leaned you back against the couch, skin pressing together. Soft chest hair tickling against your breasts. Cock prodding against your entrance. His gaze attempting to memorize every hill and valley of your body. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,” he kissed you in between each word.

Large hand coming down to line himself up with you, slowly pressing into you. Allowing just the tip in first, making sure you could adjust. Finally bottoming out with a slow and steady thrust. Rolling his hips into you, throat tightened as your walls gripped around him.

Rossi found a rhythm that had you calling out to him. Swearing you had never felt anything this good. Filling your insides perfectly with his girth. Stubble prickling on the skin of your clavicle as he kissed along your neck. Hums vibrating your skin with each meeting of hips.

“I’ll never let another person touch you again,” Rossi promised taking a deep breath. Teeth gritted together as his hips grew erratic. Swearing under his breath. Arm hooking under your lower back, arching you further. Other hand gripping the arm of the couch.

“Only mine. Right, baby?” Rossi said, more of a statement than a question. You nodded, moaning when the head of his cock hit a soft spot deep inside you. Shooting pleasure through you.

“Cock too good? Can’t even talk to me?” Rossi’s condescension made your eyes roll back. Deep voice edging you along. Tender lips growing aggressive against yours. Sloppily kissing against your mouth, pulling your lip between his teeth. You were completely lost in ecstasy.

Your still sensitive pussy had you close to another orgasm. Constricting when his body would become flush with yours. Knowing if he kept this pace up you would be a screaming mess underneath him.

“Perfect,” Rossi’s husky voice exhaled. Feeling himself approaching his own high. Fingers digging into your tender flesh as he twitched inside you.

Completely enamored by the sounds you made. Each meeting of hips causing a symphony and squeaks. A melody he knew he would never get tired of.

“Wanna be filled up with me, sweet girl? Make sure you feel who you belong to. A little reminder,” Rossi groaned.

“Please, Dave,” you whined.

The curve of his cock finally sent you over the edge. Waves of ecstasy washed over your body. Shaking, hands reaching out to hold tightly onto him. Screaming his name as your insides convulsed. Rossi cooed and smiled, hips rutting as he finished. Coating your walls with white hot.

Both of you panting. Refusing to move. Loving the warmth of each other’s bodies. Sweat glistening on your skin.

Rossi’s hand came up and caressed your face. Dark eyes lingering in yours. Leaning down and planting a gentle kiss on your lips. Rosy cheeks and glistening eyes admiring one another.

“Do you want to stay tonight?” Your exhausted voice hummed against your lips.

“I was hoping you’d ask,” Rossi chuckled.

The two of you gently got up. Matured, tender hands helped you clean up. Taking your time as you wandered off to your bedroom. Snuggling together under your cold sheets.

~~~

[END]

// Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed my first David Rossi story, I really appreciate the ask! My inbox is always open, if you want to be tagged in the future! //

{tags}

@jerk-bending ~ @heif ~ @cherriready ~

#david rossi #david rossi x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #writing #sexymonsterfics #joe mantegna #Joe Mantegna x reader

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lunarsilver · 7 months ago

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How will you meet your next partner?

I've got a new deck and so I had to use it! Here's a short Lenormand reading.

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason for making it.

1 ~ 2 ~ 3

4 ~ 5 ~ 6

PILE 1

Key - Anchor - Moon - Snake - Stork

Openness for stability grounds one’s feelings and evokes the desire to start anew.

With the Moon in the center, the main themes of this reading are predictably your fears and feelings. It’s more about your mindset than anything else. I feel like people here either had only short or casual relationships, or never dated. You’ll meet your next partner when you’ll be open to the possibility of starting a new cycle and want something durable and secure. This suggests it will be a long-term relationship.

PILE 2

Fish - Book - Heart - Woman - Sun

Wealth of knowledge makes the heart of a woman happy.

With the Heart in the center, the theme of this reading is, of course, love. We’re talking here about a romantic relationship. The Woman represents either you (if you are a girl/feminine) or your next partner. A lot of happiness comes from being well-read and well-informed. You’ll meet your next partner thanks to the abundance of your knowledge. Education is pretty important here.

PILE 3

Key - Cross - Ship - Crossroads - Bear

Liberation from rules and ideologies starts the journey of discovering the path to one’s own power.

Freedom. I have this word in my head while looking at the cards. With the Ship in the center, the theme of your reading is exploring your choices. After setting boundaries with a leader figure and making the painful choice between your responsibilities to this figure and your own freedom, you’ll start to choose what you think is right for you. That’s how you’ll meet your next partner - by becoming independent.

PILE 4

Bouquet - Owls - Mice - Anchor - Snake

(In the deck I use, there are two cards with the number 12 - Owls and Birds. I choose to interpret Birds more as gossip, anxiety and communication between a group of people, while Owls as more private, serious or intimate communication).

Flattering flirt weakens the fundamentals of desire.

Sooo, do I have people here who are currently in a relationship but feel like it is crumbling and start to think about finding another one? If so, someone will go after you while you’re still in this relationship, which even further will weaken your desire for your current partner, and you’ll get into a new relationship. You know, pile four, better come clean with your current partner as soon as possible and don’t drag it more than it’s needed.

If you’re single, I think you’ll have some situationship that will lead nowhere. Like, it’ll start so nice, some flirting and maybe even some deep conversations, but there are skeletons in the closet of that person; or maybe they’re just all talk, no action. You’ll meet your next partner after this situationship ends.

PILE 5

Sun - Ship - Mountain - Tower - Coffin

A happy journey is slowed down by an obstacle of dealing with one’s ego/loss/loneliness.

Just saying, I find it pretty interesting how mirroring cards have the same signs - Sun and Coffin are Diamonds (Earth), Ship and Tower are Spades (Air) and Mountain is a club (Fire).

The theme of your reading is overcoming an obstacle - only after dealing with it will you be able to meet your next partner. You were going through life smoothly, but here it is - a problem. I’m not sure which meaning of the Tower will fit you, but you’re either too arrogant and have to work on your character (most likely someone will call you out on this), you’ll lose something or someone, and only after grieving and moving on you’ll meet your next partner, or on the way to meeting your partner stands the need to be more social.

PILE 6

Garden - Anchor - House - Fish - Dog

Well-known social conventions value devotion.

With the House in the middle, the theme of your reading is tradition. You’ll meet your next partner the old-fashioned way, maybe at some party or through your family. This relationship will be approved by most people around you. You and your next partner will start out as friends, and from there, loyalty and support will grow. This will be most likely a long-term relationship, maybe even marriage.

#divination #pick a picture #pick a card #pick a card reading #cartomancy #general reading #tarot reading #free tarot reading #pick a pile #lenormand #love pac #pick a pile reading #future spouse reading

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artsekey · 1 year ago

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I'd been seeing videos on Tiktok and Youtube about how younger Gen Z & Gen Alpha were demonstrating low computer literacy & below benchmark reading & writing skills, but-- like with many things on the internet-- I assumed most of what I read and watched was exaggerated. Hell, even if things were as bad as people were saying, it would be at least ~5 years before I started seeing the problem in higher education.

I was very wrong.

Of the many applications I've read this application season, only %6 percent demonstrated would I would consider a college-level mastery of language & grammar. The students writing these applications have been enrolled in university for at least two years, and have taken all fundamental courses. This means they've had classes dedicated to reading, writing, and literature analysis, and yet!

There are sentences I have to read over and over again to discern intent. Circular arguments that offer no actual substance. Errors in spelling and capitalization that spellcheck should've flagged.

At a glance, it's easy to trace this issue back to two things:

The state of education in the United States is abhorrent. Instructors are not paid enough, so schools-- particularly public schools-- take whatever instructors they can find.

COVID. The two year long gap in education, especially in high school, left many students struggling to keep up.

But I think there's a third culprit-- something I mentioned earlier in this post. A lack of computer literacy.

This subject has been covered extensively by multiple news outlets like the Washington Post and Raconteur, but as someone seeing it firsthand I wanted to add my voice to the rising chorus of concerned educators begging you to pay attention.

As the interface we use to engage with technology becomes more user friendly, the knowledge we need to access our files, photos, programs, & data becomes less and less important. Why do I need to know about directories if I can search my files in Windows (are you searching in Windows? Are you sure? Do you know what that bar you're typing into is part of? Where it's looking)? Maybe you don't have any files on your computer at all-- maybe they're on the cloud through OneDrive, or backed up through Google. Some of you reading this may know exactly where and how your files are stored. Many of you probably don't, and that's okay. For most people, being able to access a file in as short a time as possible is what they prioritize.

The problem is, when you as a consumer are only using a tool, you are intrinsically limited by the functions that tool is advertised to have. Worse yet, when the tool fails or is insufficient for what you need, you have no way of working outside of that tool. You'll need to consult an expert, which is usually expensive.

When you as a consumer understand a tool, your options are limitless. You can break it apart and put it back together in just the way you like, or you can identify what parts of the tool you need and search for more accessible or affordable options that focus more on your specific use-case.

The problem-- and to be clear, I do not blame Gen Z & Gen Alpha for what I'm about to outline-- is that this user-friendly interface has fostered a culture that no longer troubleshoots. If something on the computer doesn't work well, it's the computer's fault. It's UI should be more intuitive, and it it's not operating as expected, it's broken. What I'm seeing more and more of is that if something's broken, students stop there. They believe there's nothing they can do. They don't actively seek out solutions, they don't take to Google, they don't hop on Reddit to ask around; they just... stop. The gap in knowledge between where they stand and where they need to be to begin troubleshooting seems to wide and inaccessible (because the fundamental structure of files/directories is unknown to many) that they don't begin.

This isn't demonstrative of a lack of critical thinking, but without the drive to troubleshoot the number of opportunities to develop those critical thinking skills are greatly diminished. How do you communicate an issue to someone online? How do look for specific information? How do you determine whether that information is specifically helpful to you? If it isn't, what part of it is? This process fosters so many skills that I believe are at least partially linked to the ability to read and write effectively, and for so many of my students it feels like a complete non-starter.

We need basic computer classes back in schools. We need typing classes, we need digital media classes, we need classes that talk about computers outside of learning to code. Students need every opportunity to develop critical thinking skills and the ability to self-reflect & self correct, and in an age of misinformation & portable technology, it's more important now than ever.

#computers #pc #digital #rant #something something planned obsolescence

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princessaffirms · 2 months ago

Note

Hi princess! I m the one who dm'd u about the exam scenario...help me with this please

Why I am not able to manifest just by commanding my subconscious? Ik being desperate or doubting is the problem but there were few things in which I just commanded my subconscious and then literally forgot about it.... It still didn't manifest?

I also commanded the subconscious to take me to the void in 5 minutes or wake me up in void while me being aware of it other nights.... But with no success

I am now honestly confused how to induce the void state

hi angel! 🫶 here’s the full response i sent you in dms + sharing it here too in a more formatted way! also leaving this here for anyone else who needs to hear this message right now. you’re not alone, and your power to revise and shift is still fully yours.

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

thank you so much for trusting me and being so open. 🤍

first off: manifestation isn’t a performance. it’s not about “doing it right” or forcing a result out of the void. it’s about deciding to identify with and embody the version of you who already has what you want — even if your 3D says otherwise (for now).

when we’re affirming from a place of desperation, fear, or pressure (especially with things like exams), our stress response can get so overwhelmed that the “void state” feels harder to reach. and that’s totally okay! you don’t need the void state to manifest. it can be very helpful, yes, but it’s not the only way. 🥹

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

you can revise your preparation, shift your state, and manifest success through self-concept work and assumption too. you could start affirming things like:

“i always figure things out just in time!”

“i’m safe, supported, and it’s all working out for me.”

“my success is inevitable — no matter what.”

“i am the operant power of my reality and i DECIDE that i’ve already passed this exam!”

“i’m already the version of me who always passes and wins, isn’t it wonderful?”

“this is MY reality and only i get to decide what happens in it!”

“i choose to identify with the version of myself who already passed the exam, because they already exist — and now i am them.”

“i already KNOW for certain that i passed this exam already, it’s so easy for me!”

^ things like that! that’s how i’d usually affirm in situations like this <3

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

next: normalize having that passing grade NOW to your nervous system. that’s when it really impresses into your subconscious. if you’re still viewing your exam mostly from a place of fear and worry, that’s reflecting the remnants of your subconscious thoughts that still don’t align with your passing grade reality (yet).

normalize that passing grade to yourself until the moment is so familiar to you that it feels weird to identify with anything else as truth. repetition and persistence in your affirmations literally REPROGRAMS your mind and what it believes is true!

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🍭✨ about the void:

the void is STILL available to you. it’s ALWAYS available! but not through force. let go of the timeline, the outcome, the needing.

also, from my perspective? the void state isn’t this huge, dramatic thing. it’s not some rare portal or golden ticket. it’s literally just a state of being where your awareness is clear, still, and focused.

you enter it all the time without realizing: when you’re deeply relaxed, daydreaming, or even falling asleep. it’s basically your sandbox in the 4D. your blank slate. it’s powerful, yes, but it’s not “more valid” or “more powerful” than other methods. you can manifest just as easily from repeating affirmations and strong self concept!

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🍭✨ what i’d do in the void:

try to visualize the key moments in your mind with as much detail as you can.

• what would it feel like walking into the exam hall KNOWING your success is already written in stone?

• how would it feel writing the test, knowing every answer you put down is correct?

• visualize the markers checking every answer of your test as correct.

• see yourself receiving your passing grade. down to every last detail: the feel of the paper, the table when you’re writing.

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🍭✨ why commanding your subconscious hasn’t seemed to work (yet):

here’s the thing: your subconscious doesn’t respond to force, it responds to dominant repetition, belief, and emotional imprinting.

you can absolutely command your subconscious!but the command only takes when your subconscious accepts it as TRUE. if you say “i passed” but you still FEEL like you failed, entertain mostly thoughts about failing, and identify with that undesired reality, that command won’t stick.

your subconscious listens to:

• what you assume is NORMAL for you

• what you CONSISTENTLY affirm and repeat

• the strongest self concept in the room (is it the self concept where you believe you’re not a student who can pass, or the self concept where you KNOW you already did?)

• what you impress through visualization, affirmations, and embodiment

so when you command something, the key is to PERSIST in it, even if you’re not seeing it be reflected in the 3D yet — because it inevitably will. it HAS to. it’s literally LAW for the 3D to reflect what you hold true in your mind!!

also, sometimes we “command” while still obsessively checking for results. and that checking is a form of not believing. that’s why it’s not always about saying it once, it’s about persisting and embodying it until it becomes your new baseline. your new normal.

so yes, commanding your subconscious works, but it’s less about shouting orders, and more about consistently choosing your new identity until your subconscious has no choice but to reflect it.

you’ve got this. your subconscious is always listening — now you just need to show it what you want to be true, over and over again, until it clicks. <3

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

🍭✨ a quick note on embodiment:

something i personally do when i’m manifesting academic success is ask myself:

“how would the version of me who already passed act?”

immediately, i’m thinking: “they’d study — but they’d study from a calm, confident state. not from panic or fear of failing.”

so that’s what i do! i still study, but i do so with intention, not obsession. from alignment, not burnout.

i embody that version of me who already passed by choosing to show up with purpose, not pressure.

so if you feel inspired to study or prep, do it because it’s what the successful you would do. not because you’re trying to prove yourself or obsess over the result.

your success is already yours — now just identify with and embody that version of you.

　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖

you’ve got this. and of course feel free to reach out again if you have any other questions! i’m always happy to help <3

sending you so much love and light! all the best with your exam! 🫶

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cherry-chaos-cola · 6 months ago

Text

another silly little sonadow fanfic because they are fun to write:)

edit: link isn't working? so I'll put it under the cut

edit 2: It's working again?? Possibly??

Tranquilizer

Rated T | No archive warnings apply | Sonic Movie Universe

"I can't believe you shot Sonic's boyfriend!"

"Boyfriend!?"

"Well I actually don't know, we haven't had that conversation yet, because you shot him!"

Sonic has been hiding Shadow from his family for the past few months, blaming disturbances on the usual: the wind, wildlife, other genetically modified alien hedgehogs that are totally real and not made up. Unfortunately, Tom thinks the raccoon problem is back, and fed up, takes matters into his own hands (because that worked well last time).

aka Sonic loses the world's worst game of hide and seek, Tom gives Shadow ketamine, and Tails needs to watch age appropriate TV shows

Autumn was rapidly coming to an end in Green Hills, cold weather creeping in when night fell. Shadow didn't mind the chill that came on the wind, but Sonic had grown soft from years of watching winter pass by from inside a heated home. It was just another mark on a long list of endearing annoyances when he started complaining the forest was too cold, the caves too drafty to be meeting in, and started silently sneaking Shadow into his home.

It was risky, even under the cover of darkness, but Sonic promised he was careful. "Knuckles sleeps like a brick, and if Tails wakes up he'll be too groggy to notice I'm gone. We're probably good until 5 when Tom gets up for work, but if we're careful we might be able to hide in the garage until he leaves, he never parks inside..."

"Sonic." Interrupting his train of thought, Shadow held out a hand to stop him from going any further away from the forest, balancing on the edge of their toes to keep from stepping forward. "There's frost on the ground."

"Ah." The first crunch of ice under his shoe was louder than he expected, ringing through the night and giving them away. It couldn't have possibly woken anyone in the house, but the second crunch was just as loud, like broken glass, and left a very identifiable footprint that wouldn't melt until morning. "Okay, well, we'll just be real careful, take the long way to the garage. By the trash cans."

Before he could stop him, Sonic grabbed Shadow's hand, quietly leading him along the edge of the trees and darting around the dying brush. It was much slower than either were used to, and even in the dark Shadow could see every move Sonic made, from his shiver when the wind blew to the hesitation before risky steps. With every glance back, it was clear something was weighing on his mind.

Finally, after a dangerous maze of snapped branches and crunchy piles of leaves, they were by the side entrance to the garage. Sonic reached up to pull the door handle, to push open the gate to safety and—

"It's locked." Deep sigh. With his head pressed against the frame, Sonic jiggled the handle as much as he dared, but it didn't budge. "Ugh."

"I can come back another night."

"No!"

His response startled Shadow, jerking back as the other lunged forward. Sonic's outburst seemed to startle himself, as he awkwardly caught his hand before it reached Shadow's shoulder. "Ah, I mean. There's something I really wanted to talk to you about, and the sooner we can, the better. I don't want to keep pushing it off."

He wouldn't meet Shadow's eyes. From the way he fidgeted, leaning his weight from foot to foot, his movements betrayed anxiety. If whatever he had to say was important enough to incite fear, it must have been urgent. As restless as Shadow was, Sonic was worse.

"Fine."

"We can go around the front." He whispered, slowly creeping around the corner of the garage. That should have been his first tell that something was wrong, Sonic moving slowly. "We'll have to be careful not to trip the lights."

Pressed against the plastic panels, Sonic carefully stepped over an extension cord plugged into the wall. "Or blow the fuse again."

They had started meeting in the forest, and it would have worked out, had Sonic not been such a diva. He didn't like the bugs, he didn't like the dirt, there was water on his quills and the sun hurt his eyes. For someone who lived in a cave for the majority of his life, he was ill equipped for surviving the wilderness, always some excuse as to why they should sneak back to his home. Shadow wasn't sure why he put up with it, but the other would stretch out in the grass, dangerously close to his personal space, and whine with his big pleading eyes until he gave in.

The first time they had tried sneaking into the house, Shadow had chaos controlled into Sonic's bedroom and made just about every outlet in the attic burst into sparks. The second they snuck him in through the window, but the first heated touch of a paw to his fur had the power crashing out again. By the third time they thought they had it figured out, and then Sonic kissed him. The whole town was without power, and it was a week before Shadow showed his face again.

Obviously, they still had a ways to go. Sonic carefully looked around the second corner, motioning for Shadow to follow, staying low to the ground and right near the wall. No motion sensor lights blinded them, no alarms blared in their ears, and all the windows in the house stayed dark. They were almost in the clear, and then—

"Shit! Who moved the trash cans?"

The loud crash echoed down the driveway, and it was like a row of dominos had been set off. Emergency lights flooded the pathway, illuminating footprints in a thin layer of ice and snow, not frost. Sonic hurriedly tried to reset the bins, zipping about and disturbing more snow, and a light came on in an upstairs bedroom. A blue flash disappeared into the garage too fast, and a car alarm started blaring loudly. A few more swears, not so whispered now, and right as the light in the kitchen shined out onto the grass, Sonic was pushing Shadow into the open door of the garage.

"Hide!" Shoved behind a tall stack of boxes, Shadow was about to ditch this situation and apologize later, but Sonic had grabbed both his hands, staring at him with wide, crazed eyes. Tense moments passed that could give them away at any minute. The alarm cut off with one last abrupt screech, the light outside shutting off and plunging them into total darkness.

Slowly, the blood stopped pounding in their ears and their eyes adjusted to the dark. A blue ear twitched at any sound the wind made, listening for a hint of footsteps. Shadow dared to peek over the edge of the boxes, nothing in the garage but them.

"That was close." Sonic whispered, pressed too close against Shadow's chest and his fingers too tight on his wrists. "I thought for sure that Tom would come out here."

"Too close."

"Yeah." Sonic made no move to pull away, almost relaxing against him, if anything. He didn't take the hint, jittery paws running up Shadow's arms and tangling into white fur. His muzzle was buried into his own shoulder, shallow gasps in time with a heart beating twice as fast.

"Shadow, I was thinking." He mumbled, out of breath and rushed, "We can't keep sneaking around like this. Do you think it might be time to...?"

The door to the garage (the side that had been locked) swung open with a metallic twang, the flashlight that shone into the room minuscule compared to the floodlights from before. Shadow made to use his powers to get the fuck out, but Sonic was still practically on top of him and stumbling over his feet.

"Unless you're a raccoon—even if you are a raccoon, really—you've messed with the wrong house, so hands where I can see them!"

"Shadow, don't!"

In his surprise, Sonic tripped them both over the empty cardboard boxes, tumbling into the beam from the flashlight at the same time as a high-pitched yelp and a deep human scream. Shadow tried to wrestle him off, snarling as instinct kicked in, and he would have succeed if it weren't for the sharp prick he felt in his side. Injured, pinned by his wrist and waist, his limbs didn't seem to respond as he felt Sonic struggle on top of him.

"Dad! It's not—it's not what it looks like?"

The room was spinning, two blue blurs frantically rocking across his vision. Shadow weakly punched his fist at the left one, missed, and felt hard concrete against his head before he was out cold.

---

"I can't believe you shot Sonic's boyfriend!"

"Boyfriend?"

"I don't know if I'd call him that, we haven't actually had that conversation, because, you know, you shot him!"

"Well, what were you doing in the garage?!"

The voices sounded distant and muffled, like they were being played far off on a radio, or his ears had been stuffed with cotton. Shadow took a deep breath, his side aching with the movement like it touched fire, and tried to clench his fist.

His limbs didn't respond. Almost like coming out of stasis. Almost like entering it.

His heart sped up.

"I saw this on TV once." A gratingly high-pitched voice cut through the pain that was trying to overtake his head, unexpected enough to snap him back to reality. This one wasn't muffled, as if its owner was standing right over him. "The girl's dad didn't want the boy taking her to prom."

"So he challenged him in combat to prove he was worthy of her hand?"

"No, he shot him with a gun."

"Oh. Did the boy friend survive?"

"No. Which was really sad, because the next episode they revealed the girl was pregnant with his baby." A long pause. "Which isn't going to happen to Sonic. I think..."

Shadow couldn't remember their names, but could picture their faces. Hard not to, when the three of them looked like they walked out of a Crayola ad. One of the shops on the one busy street in Green Hills sold the colorful art supplies in the window, and Shadow never hesitated to mock Sonic about how he looked more at home there than in the woods.

"A boy that cannot withstand a simple bullet wound taken for his true love is too weak to call himself a man. He deserved it."

"I don't think so...?"

"Does anyone in your family ever shut up?"

"Shadow!" The younger one shouted his name much too loud, but the muffled arguing from Sonic and his parents made it go unheard. "You're alive!"

"Obviously."

"No, I mean—you're alive. We thought, after the Eclipse Cannon..."

"You thought wrong. Get me out of here without alerting the others, or you'll be the one they scrape off the garage floor next."

"Do not speak to him in that manner." The other one, with the... fists, stepped forward. "You are less than a guest in this home, and even if Sonic has decided to trust you, I do not. Why should we help you?"

"Shouldn't you stay a little longer?" Tails (because now with both of them in sight, Shadow was reminded of his too obvious moniker) ignored his brother's harsh tone, clearly taking Sonic's side in the trust-Shadow-or-not war. Not the ally he would have chosen. "I mean, mom's a veterinarian, and you look—" he stopped, as if he realized this train of thought was not putting him in any safety. "She can help."

"No doctors. Get me out of here and I'll leave you and your family alone."

"Is that a threat, hedgehog?"

"Does it need to be?"

"Knuckles, stop!" It was almost cute the way Tails thought he could get in their way should they fight, and loath as he was to admit it, Shadow would lose this one. His head was still swimming, so he must have been missing some small cue from the two of them, and that was the only reason he could come up with as to why Knuckles lowered his fists.

"What do you think the human I hurt—Tom—is going to do when he finds out I'm awake? Do you think Sonic can control his own anger?"

"Tom's not like that." Looking to the other for reassurance, Tails murmured denial. But Tails' voice was weak, unsure of it himself, and Knuckles seemed to understand Shadow's viewpoint.

"It might be best if they have their argument when you are not present. We will get you out of here."

Shadow didn't have much choice as Knuckles manhandled him off the couch, getting him standing on his own feet. He would have easily escaped on his own (should have easily escaped on his own, had he really been so weakened?), but another outburst from the kitchen had his heart twisting. Sonic didn't deserve what he was putting him through. All of them.

Knuckles wrapped an arm around his shoulders, leaning Shadow's weight into his side to guide him. No amount of protest stopped the echidna, but one glare was all it took for the fox to scurry away from helping on his other side.

"You owe us one, hedgehog."

"How about I don't kill you, and we'll call it even?"

Knuckles didn't need to know about the promises he made to Sonic, or the whispered conversations about making amends. He knew this was a step in every wrong direction, but right now he needed to fear Shadow more than he needed to trust him.

"How far do you need to go?" Tails asked, looking over his shoulder as the three of them moved toward the front door. The voices in the kitchen had stopped yelling, though they were still stern. Not much time left.

"To the forest. I can make my way from there."

"And you're sure you'll be..."

"The sooner I get out of here, the better it is for everyone." With his legs working again, he shoved Knuckles away, but the steps on the porch were icy. One misstep, and they were clinging to each other again. "Don't worry about me."

"What about Sonic? He was really upset when you were out, he really likes—"

Tails was quickly learning an ability the others didn't have, the art of shutting up. At Shadow's glare, his mouth snapped closed, nodding awkwardly. "Okay, then. Well... I guess..."

"We will act like we know nothing." Knuckles gave him a gentle push, finally accepting he could move on his own. "It will buy you time to escape. If we do not see each other again, you were a formidable opponent. I respect that."

"It's not that bad! I'm sure we'll see you soon!"

In all likelihood, they wouldn't. Shadow was already planning where he would go next, how (and if) he would get the message to Sonic, how soon he would recover enough to travel far, far away. It had been a mistake coming to Green Hills in the first place, endangering others for what? A few fleeting moments of companionship? They would have been better off thinking him dead. All of them.

Fire lit under Shadow's shoes, poised to skate away before he wasted any more of their time, but before the first rocket burst of speed, one last cry called him back.

"Shadow!" Tails shouted after him, frantically waving a hand to get his attention. "We're glad you're alive!"

It caught him off guard. Even Knuckles gave a somber nod at the statement, the two of them standing on the porch sending him off like he was simply visiting. He couldn't name the feeling that swelled in his chest, like a weight on his ribs squeezing out something he hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe ever. And in that moment, he made a decision.

"You. Fox."

"Tails."

"Tell Sonic..." Shadow hesitated, looking where the sky met the trees and back to the house. "Tell him he knows where to find me."

"Yes, sir!" A mock salute, followed by quiet giggling. Shadow rolled his eyes, but sped off through the trees with the corner of his lips quirked upward.

---

Winter passed uneventfully, heavy snow blocking the entrance to his cave more often than not. At first, the thought of settling down to sleep for months at a time made Shadow's quills stand on end, too close to memories he didn't want to relive, but the cold made him lethargic and the lack of any sort of stimulation made him bored out of his mind. It wasn't quite a true hibernation, but days passed in trance-like reflection as he waited for the snow to melt. Alone with his thoughts, he would rather false dreams than waking memories.

When birds started to sing again, grass and tiny flowers peeking through the thin cover of snow, Shadow ventured down the mountain as far as he dared, not yet ready to seek anything (or anyone) out. As he told the fox, Sonic knew where to find him. If he sought him out, so be it. If he didn't, no loss.

He would keep telling himself that until the snow had melted and the meadows were full of wildflowers.

It was late afternoon when he heard the disturbance, a crash in the woods that didn't sound like natural tree fall. A distant shout, playful laughter among friends, and a flash of blue that passed the meadow without stopping. Shadow's heart stopped beating in that moment, frozen where he stood in the field of flowers.

It was like being hit with tranquilizer again. He had spent all winter telling himself he didn't care if he never saw the other after that night, and there he was, few steps away. There he was, and he didn't even know Shadow was there too. Everything in the forest was still, the quiet calls of birds competing with the blood echoing in his eardrums, wind rustling the trees and sweeping through a painting of blue and purple and yellow flowers. Clouds passed overhead, breaking the illusion, the world still turning. His heart still beating.

"Shadow!"

From across the meadow, a frantic voice called out. Before Shadow could spin around to see him, he was hit from behind with what was intended to be a hug but felt like a punch. The hedgehog was even more hyperactive than usual, his affection mere seconds before he was spinning away again and standing back.

"It's been so long, I would have come to find you, Tails said—but Tom said it wasn't safe with the snow, but Maddie was already pretty upset that you left, she was worried about the way you—but you're okay! And now you're here! And now you can—"

Sonic darted around him in circles that made Shadow's head spin, not a chance to get a word in otherwise.

"The others, they're—" Chest heaving, Sonic held his hand up to catch his breath. "They don't know. They'll expect me back in a minute, and..."

He finally stopped moving, inches away from Shadow's face, hope filling his round eyes. "Maybe you can come along."

Everything inside his brain had shut down. Shadow couldn't form a response, staring silently as Sonic waited impatiently for an answer. There was no right way to move forward.

"You know that's not a good idea."

"When have I ever had good ideas?"

"It's been three months."

"I was grounded. For a while, mostly just for scaring my dad half to death." Sonic murmured quietly, taking a step forward as Shadow stepped back. "I would have come sooner if I could, if it weren't for—"

"—your family."

"They want to meet you." Sonic shook his head, reaching out for Shadow's hands. "They don't want to push you away. It was the snow that was stopping me, really. Not them."

"Forgive me if I don't believe they'd easily accept someone who almost tore them apart."

"Okay, I will." Sonic snickered, teasing Shadow as he stepped closer still. This time, Shadow didn't back away. "Please? You don't have to stay. I just want to see you without having to hide it, for once."

For a moment, he thought he might. Sonic's hands were warm where they embraced his, his smile infectious as he waited for an answer. Sunlight glittered down on the meadow from gaps in the clouds, breaking through the chilly spring air and shining on new growth.

Shadow dropped Sonic's hands, turning towards the shaded forest.

It was easier, this way. No attachments, no commitment. If he left without saying a word, it was final, and he could move on in peace.

"I don't really mind the forest, you know. I was just saying all that to try and get you home."

Yet there was always something that made him stay.

"It's pretty out here. I grew up in these woods, they reminded me of the home I once had." The grass rustled as Sonic took a step closer, like approaching a wild animal. Like Shadow might dart if he moved too fast. "It can be yours too."

It was almost funny the care he took to coax him, trying too hard to be something he was not. The overpowering energy was still there, under the skin, the softness and hesitation like a fish out of water. He was willing to try, at least. Shadow let some of his weight shift so he was no longer ready to run, silently offering a chance for the other to continue.

"I'm not saying you should immediately move in! You don't have to rush things—"

"Really."

"Yes, really, coming from me I know." Sonic laughed it off, casually sliding his palm into Shadow's again. "I'm just saying. It might be nice."

He was leaning in. Shadow watched as Sonic fumbled a little more, enjoying the flush that colored his cheeks. Sparks flickered under his quills, imminent and promising and dangerous, and finally, he met him in the middle. Static crackled around them as their lips met, far away from the threat of power outages, nothing but startled birds and roaring wind to disturb. Sonic pulled away first, lopsided smile triumphant and jittery, his legs bouncing as he held back for a moment longer.

"Race you back?"

"Only if you're willing to lose."

"I think it'll be a win for me no matter what." He dropped to his knee, shivering with excitement and ready to race, looking up as Shadow lunged to prepare. "Okay, on three. One, two—!"

Birds took off from the tops of the trees as the ground shook, stray petals drifting in the breeze as the grass shifted back in place. All it took was a few moments for the meadow to right itself again, and all it took was a few moments before laughter rang through the trees.

#sonadow #sonic x shadow #sonic movie 3 #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #fanfiction #archive of our own

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genderqueerdykes · 6 months ago

Note

I hope this is an ok thing to send but: Do you remember when transmeds used to demand that anyone who didn’t use he/him or she/her post their auxiliary pronouns?

Because I’m just now starting to realize that what they actually meant was “give me a way to misgender you without feeling guilty about it.”

Especially if the pronouns in question were it/its or singular they. Like, most English speakers use it/its and singular they on a regular basis. They only had a problem using them when it was to refer to people who specifically claim them as their pronouns.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I thought that because you’ve narrowed your pronouns even further to get people to use it/its for you that you might be able to give some kind of… solidarity? with this?

—they/it user who once felt pressured to provide aux pronouns

“give me a way to misgender you without feeling guilty about it.” is exactly how i feel about this. my memory is hazy but i do recall people doing that for a while. as if giving them your actual pronouns isn't good enough. i understand using auxiliary pronouns around people unfamiliar with using singular they, it, like in business settings or other environments where you aren't sure of whether or not they will be accepting, and so on, but when it's amongst other queers, it feels like people want to misgender you on purpose.

some people don't even HAVE auxilliary pronouns, like what was with forcing people to provide a pronoun set they don't like just to make it easier on someone else...? like if those aren't my pronouns, they aren't my pronouns. i'm not gonna make up some other pronouns to give you. why are my primary pronouns not good enough?

i can relate to this, yes! it does suck that i've been forced to narrow my pronouns down to using just it/its, but i need people to understand that it's just not an option. using my correct pronouns is not an option. you don't get to misgender me just because you don't want to use my pronouns. they are my pronouns. i don't start calling he/him cis men by other pronouns just because. i don't ignore she/her cis women's pronouns. so why is it okay to do this to trans and queer people?

i'm sorry you had to deal with that. it's so old and annoying. people want to control others so bad it's unreal. they see an identity they don't understand and think they need to "fix" it. or they think that they know better than the person who adopted that identity. like yeah no shit i know that it/its are used for animals and objects. that's why i want to use them. i'm a wolf in a human's body. cope. even if i didn't identify as nonhuman and didn't see them as dehumanizing, i'd still want to use them. there's nothing wrong with them

#asks #answers #it/its #it its #it pronouns #pronouns

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drdemonprince · 4 months ago

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hi! i’m hoping to go to my first munch tomorrow evening to be able to connect with my fellow kinksters but i’ve identified feelings of imposter syndrome with being there, and social anxiety. wrt the imposter syndrome i feel as though maybe my kinks aren’t enough to warrant my presence in the community, and that others might view me as unserious, or an interloper. i particularly have a fetish for fat men (as a fat man myself) and worry that people may look upon me oddly. i also worry with social anxiety that i may look weird or odd to others there, and that they might dislike me or be put off (im autistic and this has happened before so it feels like a reasonable fear). i know your advice is to attend three gatherings of the same occasion before deciding whether or not it’s right for you, but is there a way to quell my anxiety so that i don’t immediately chicken out and stay entrenched in my comfort zone? thank you!

Yes, I can give your worst anxieties a needed reality check!

You are not an imposter. SO many people at your average munch are inexperienced newbies who are there because they have just begun to venture out into the scene. Regardless of age or how confident they might seem to you from the outside when you're first standing there fidgeting nervously, many of them are completely overwhelmed and nervous themselves. That 45-year-old guy who seem so self-assured is a recently divorced dad who has never had actual leathersex in his life and is finally getting to explore it. That 30-year-old woman who seems like the belle of the ball has only ever played with fuzzy handcuffs and read kinky erotica and after years of teasing from her friends is ready to make it real.

Even the real pro's who swan around talking about everything they've done and all the gear they've got are mostly trying to quell their own insecurities about not being good enough or not being wanted or not having sexual appeal yet/anymore. Some people cover it up with talking a mile a minute or with class clown jokes or theater kid antics but they're nervous, and fragile, and want to meet new people and to feel okay, and you being there and how you act is just a much a determinant of how that goes as how they act.

If anything, some munches just kind of overselect for the inexperienced and single because hey, if you've got a big kinky network already you might not need to go there (unless it's a really cool, laid back munch that your friends also attend and like going to just as a standing social event). It will almost always be a mix of really seasoned and experienced people from the scene (who should know to be WELCOMING; if they're dicks, they're just grizzled adults with Late-Onset Popularity Syndrome and the problem is on them not you) and total fragile newborn fawn newbies. And there will be pearls among both and just kinda meh people among both. None of them speak for the community as a whole, if you don't click with someone that's not a defect on your part.

As for not being kinky enough OH GOD please you do not need to worry. Again, lots of people venturing into munches are on a sexual exploration journey of some kind or just trying to get laid and that means there's a ton of casuals and kinda mild players (in my estimation, it's all relative) for whom like, breeding is a kink, or underwear is. The weirdest thing you can be into is rawdogging or eating ass and you can still call yourself kinky! And while i bitch sometimes about fake kinksters wasting my time specifically, people like that have a place in the ecosystem and they are actually so fucking valid. There will be people in the room who have straight up drowned people erotically, people into blood play and needles, people into Daddy Dom little girl shit, furries, people into puppy play, and people into like... blindfolds and a little rope.

Everybody there who has any experience should know the importance of establishing a rapport with a new partner and going slow and nobody is going to think you're like a loser for not wanting your nipples hooked up to a car battery. Lots of people have tons of limits or really specific kinks or are into fairly tame seeming stuff -- and they feel all kinds of shame and anxiety and embarassment about all that, too! It's frankly a cute lovable thing about us human beings at the end of the day. We can feel like the nastiest most evil sex FREAKS of all time and like completely unexciting bland losers about the exact same kinks all at once. arent brains fun??

As for the fat fetish thing. Okay this is one where some people can be ignorant because of their own insecurities! Some fat people with their own body shit can be highly reactive to it, and of course thin people can be super shaming and othering. But, I think since you are fat, you run less risk of people saying to your face that you must be objectifying fat people, are a chaser, or (even fucking worse) that your interest in fat people is "unhealthy." Munches are definitely a mixed bag so there could certainly be your garden variety body insecurity non fat liberationist shit going on there, but like, just step away if people start talking about their own bodies in bothersome ways if you can and zero in on those fat hotties and bat your eyelashes at them and ask them how their night is etc.

I understand that being Autistic and weird and chilly and off putting etc is a very real phenomenon and I struggle with it as well -- but intense anxiety is always the other side of that coin. Kinksters are tabletop gaming and musical theater nerds and shit like that. They're Autistic and awkward as hell. It can be endearing, annoying, sexy, neutral, all that good shit. Try not to get into your head too much if you're just standing around saying nothing for a while. We've all been there. You are not fucking up. If you can, try and jump into some conversations or lurk on the corner of a group so someone can pull you in -- good munches will have an either formal or informal welcome wagon to at least get you introduced. But even if they dont, just try to quiet down your anxiety in your body using your preferred methods (breathing, stim toy, take a break, have a drink) and just try to enter a conversation by saying hello, complimenting what someone is wearing, asking someone's name, asking how people are, jumping in if you hear something being talked about that you care about -- it's not as big a risk as it feels, it helps break the ice.

Also, every munch is different! Some have a straighter crowd, others a far queerer one, some are mixed, some are more kinky and others are more generically social, so if this one doesnt work out try another if you can.

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