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sv5hive · 11 months ago

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all's well that ends well | lh44

pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!reader

content warning(s): suggestive content? (like one little comment nothing outrageous

word count: 2,107

note: this is a part two to this fic! thank you to the anon who gave me the idea otherwise i would have been stuck for ages!! so happy so many of you enjoyed it and i hope you enjoy this one just as much 😚🫶🏻

(masterlist!)

you let out a shallow sigh as you gently pushed the door closed with a click. last night's fight had plagued your mind and haunted your dreams meaning you had gotten almost no sleep at all. you just wanted to get all your stuff and find a small place to rent while you looked for a more permanent place to stay.

but lewis had other plans.

"hey, baby-"

"don't call me that, lewis. i thought i made it clear last night that it was over. i thought i also made it clear that i didn't want to see you again."

"ok, ok. i'm sorry. i just, i know i fucked up. but i can make it right again. i promise."

"like how you promised we would have a normal life together? i don't want to wait anymore, lewis. i told you this already. now please, let me just get my stuff and leave."

"no, just, just hear me out on this. i can't imagine how you felt while waiting for me to finally catch up to what you realised a long time ago. but i have been in love with you since the day i met you and if i let you walk away again i would never be able to live with myself."

despite what you had said earlier, you didn't hate him. and lewis could see you weighing up the idea in your head.

"saying it is but proving it is another. otherwise your apology means nothing."

"ok. yeah, ok i can do that."

he grinned at the possibility of winning you over.

"but, i need space. so, i will be getting my stuff and leaving."

"wait! you can stay here. i'll go, it's only fair."

"don't be silly, lewis. i still have my hotel room booked don't worry about it."

"no, no, please stay here. this house is yours as much as it is mine. don't worry, i can find somewhere else to stay. i know how you get sleeping in a bed that's not yours."

he knew you too well.

"ok. uhm, thank you, lewis."

"you don't need to thank me. i'll see you soon?."

"ok, yeah. see you soon."

you thought sleeping in your own bed would help you get a good night's rest but you seemed to toss and turn for hours on end. looking to your left, the digital clock on the bedside table screamed some unreasonable time in blinding red. you huffed before realising that maybe it wasn't just the bed. after all, all those years you slept in this bed you weren't sleeping alone. eventually, you did manage to fall asleep at some ungodly hour after scrolling on your phone mindlessly. but not without pondering how lewis was planning to change your mind.

the next morning you were awoken by a knock at the door. rolling your eyes, you readied yourself to turn lewis away but instead you were met with a bouquet of flowers on the doorstep. you peeked your head out to see if the person who dropped it off was still around but it was like they had disappeared into thin air. bringing the bouquet to the kitchen to place in a vase your eyes caught notice of a note gently tucked into the leaves.

thank you for giving me a second chance. you won't regret it.

he was making it hard to stay mad at him. you pulled out your phone and sent him a quick text.

thanks for the flowers.

anything for you. and i meant what i said.

read 9:26 am

humming along to the radio, you plated up your lunch and made your way to sit at the counter to eat. the recent weather had been unusually pleasant with the sun shining all day, and you thought about going for a run outside when a text popped up on your phone.

do you have any plans tonight? it read.

you debated lying to him but you had already finished with your work that day and you found yourself wanting to see him again after a little bit more than a week of being apart. you typed out your reply after a couple of seconds.

depends. what do you have planned?

it's a surprise.

you grinned.

i'll pick you up at 6.

oh and can you wear that black dress again? the backless one?

read 12:46 pm

you felt your face go warm at the reminder of what happened the last time you wore that number. god damn it. no matter what he would always have that effect on you. looks like you had something to look forward to tonight.

you smoothed away imaginary wrinkles while obsessively checking your entire appearance over in the mirror. it felt like you were doing too much but then again, you had to show lewis what he would be losing out on if he couldn't convince you. before you could check the time there was a knock at the door.

you calmed yourself down and opened the door to come face to face with lewis.

lewis swore he felt his world stop spinning.

"you- wow. you look...as beautiful as ever. seriously, why were you ever dating me?" he eventually managed to get out, audibly breathless.

your giggles filled the air as you hoped your makeup meant he couldn't see your entire face going red.

"you look, ok." you were lying straight through your teeth. he could make a trash bag look like a designer outfit and you both knew it. he found it funny enough to let out a chuckle though so maybe it was the right move.

"oh and uh, these are for you." as he remembered the bouquet of baby's breath, white chrysanthemums and blue hyacinth in his hands that he painstakingly put together himself.

"oh they're lovely. thank you. i'll just go put these in a vase and we can go."

he couldn't mess this up now. not again.

"ok, do you plan on telling me where we're going now or is it still a surprise?" you asked locking the front door and heading towards the car.

he opened the passenger door for you as you got in.

"y'know there's a saying that goes something along the lines of 'good things come to those who wait'. you ever heard of that one?" he retorted before getting behind the wheel.

"hmmm, i don't know. doesn't really ring any bells for me."

"that's too bad because i'm still not telling you."

"fine, be that way."

he looked over at you staring out the window refusing to spare him so much as a glance. you always have been a stubborn one he thought. shaking his head with a smirk, he began driving.

you were definitely surprised when you two arrived at the restaurant you raved about months ago - you didn't think he had been fully paying attention while getting ready for bed. now sat down at the secluded booth, you couldn't help but grin at the fact while in awe of the decor. all lewis could do was admire the pure joy and glee present on your face.

"what? why are you looking at me like that?"

"like what?"

"y'know, like that."

"i don't know what you're talking about."

all the other patrons must have been irritated by the way you two couldn't stop chatting and laughing as the bottle of wine dwindled down over several courses of delicious food. but if it meant he could see you so happy after everything he put you through he was ready to pay for them all to leave.

"so i've been thinking, and, i'm ready to take the next step with you. don't worry, i'm not about to get down on one knee right now, but i just thought you should know."

"what changed your mind?"

"i should've listened to you but instead i was an idiot and i let you leave. i'm sorry for that. and everything else. i guess seeing you walk out really brought me to my senses."

"yeah? well i'm glad it did."

"and i am absolutely ready to retire and start a family with you-"

"what?" you almost spat out your wine.

"i've thought about it and i want a family with you more than anything."

"no, lewis, i won't let you do that. you love racing. you said it yourself it's your whole life!"

"not anymore. i want to be there for you and i can't do that if i'm away driving every weekend."

"i can travel while pregnant, lewis. i'd follow you until i am physically unable to and we would be waiting for you until you come back home. i know how much racing means to you and i will always support you. besides, wouldn't you love to have your kid cheer you on in the garage?"

you two were cheekily grinning now at the prospect. he couldn't believe how lucky he was to find you.

"are you sure? it's not going to be easy."

"yes, of course i am. i've been sure for years, lewis. you were the one who wasn't ready."

his smile faltered a little as he wished he could go back in time and tell himself to get his act together. he couldn't change the past but he was damn well going to change your future together.

"ok."

to everyone else in the restaurant, it seemed like a normal date, but if lewis kept his word then it meant the start of a completely new chapter in your relationship.

"you ready for this?" you were in awe of the man stood in front of you.

"more than ready."

"stay safe, ok? we want you back in one piece."

"of course. anything for my two favourite girls."

he placed a kiss on your forehead before taking the toddler from your arms.

"you ready to see daddy race? hmm?"

lewis nuzzled his nose against hers and placed gentle kisses all over her face, prompting an endless symphony of infectious giggles.

he had been absolutely petrified when you told him you were pregnant. he wanted nothing more than a family with you but babysitting nieces and nephews was very different to having your own child. even after all the baby books, birthing classes and packing dozens of hospital bags, lewis still almost passed out when your water broke. and if you weren't in excruciating pain due to your rapidly growing contractions, you would have teased him for his panic.

soon enough, his daughter was placed into his arms for the first time and all of a sudden there was nothing to be anxious about. he could still visualise the moment perfectly and yet somehow failed to describe just how he felt looking at the little one's face. she was the perfect mixture of the two of you.

"i'm so proud of you, my love. you know that right?"

season after season, he was left fighting in the midfield when he was finally given a championship contending car to restore his former glory. it was clear to everyone that lewis was more motivated than ever and that he just needed a car good enough to take him back up to the top step. all the late night meetings and simulator runs had finally paid off, as the legendary eighth world championship was won just a few races ago.

now, as you helped him prepare for his final race in formula one, you looked fondly back on the beginning of your relationship. you had everything you always dreamed of and you wouldn't trade it for the world.

"i couldn't disappoint my biggest supporters!"

"even if you didn't win we would still be your biggest supporters! isn't that right, my sweet girl?" you tickled your daughter as she curled back into lewis' neck to evade your hands.

"thank you."

you looked back at him with furrowed brows while fussing over the toddler.

"what for?"

"for everything. for taking me back, for making me the happiest man in the universe. twice, by the way."

you beamed from ear to ear at the reminder of the wedding that awaited you next year. he had proposed to you just before you found out you were pregnant and it felt like your life was falling into place at last. studying his face, you felt content knowing that you were truly meant for each other. nothing else mattered more than what lied ahead of you and you couldn't wait to experience it with the man you had fallen in love with years ago.

"i would do it all over again in a heart beat."

note: omg. it's literally 1 am but i had to finish this before my random streak of motivation ran out. i didn't think so many people would want a part 2 like i was so shocked at how many people enjoyed part 1!! never thought i'd get 10 notes let alone 100+ you are all tooooo kind 🥹

#f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x fem!reader #lh44 #lh44 x reader #lh44 imagine #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton x you

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ducklingpia · 5 days ago

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✧˖°. 𝐌𝐲 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 & 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛

✧˖°. The continuation from this post

✧ There are some thoughts that I would like to share regarding his character & some controversial topics about him in the main story

1. “MC sees him as a brother”

From what I have explained in his past timeline in previous post, MC clearly developed a crush on him growing up and she sometimes hints her own jealousy with him in some past memories. So up until the explosion I think MC does has feelings for him but didn’t wanna cross the line they have build and vice versa

After the explosion I think MC slowly started to accept the reality that he is gone. She went on to find the truth about herself. She made a new relationship & went on a mission with 4 other lis. Until she met him again in the current chapter. you can feel some tension in their interactions that clearly has a romance undertone in them. Another interesting thing here’s also when she met Zayne. He seems way more warm with her. He even flirted with her and asked her to go on a date with him next time they met. This really proves the development in her relationship with all of them. and with Caleb that she knew since day 1. The feeling is there.

I’m not gonna talk about the incest allegation because like, are we tired at this point? In Asian languages we use the same words to call our own family members to someone who’s close to us even though they’re not blood related. The fact that these people refused to learn about the Asian contexts when consuming Asian content is just plain ignorant.

2. His ‘yandere’ behavior in the main story

First thing first, as much as I want everyone to see the good side in him. We cannot deny that he’s written to fill out this trope. The developers clearly made him to be the character that is flawed and morally grey. There’s a market for this type of character and they knew that he would not be for everyone. So if you cannot vibe with his ‘Yandere’ tendencies at all no matter how much you tried then it’s completely ok. He’s not for you. it’s fine

I personally don’t really favor this kind of trope myself. but what makes Caleb work for me is- The reason behind it, how he developed all these tendencies in the story. It just make sense for me

Number 1 is his ‘over-protectiveness’ towards MC. I also felt the ick at first. But after experiencing his past I get it.

Imagine you being a child and the first memory you have is other people using you as an experimental subject. probably seen as a weapon of some sort alright? then, you probably never experience love and care from any adults ever. You also probably went through all the tortures and hell during the time in the lap. All of these make you lose your own identity and never develop the will to live as a normal human- and may I add, as a 9 years old child. Then one day when you got rescued from the lap. you met this cute kid that also got experimented on like you, maybe even worse. But because she doesn’t remember anything, She remains soft and so full of life - she holds your hand with all the love and tenderness you’ve never got from anyone in your life before. It's like nothing bad that happened in her life could really affect her pure heart. You see this kind of light and feel the need to protect it. - That’s how Caleb formed his own identity and the reason to live growing up, He never wanted her to turn empty inside like him.

Caleb grew up spoiling MC rotten like I said in his past timeline. For someone who’s already numb from any emotions. The only thing that keeps him feeling alive is taking care of you, doting on you, making sure you’re always safe and sound, making sure nothing bad could ever happen to you. YOU are the only thing that matters to him.

Number 2, His red flag behavior in the main story in which… kinda lead to the next point

3. “I don’t feel safe around him/ I don’t trust him”

yeah duh, we are not supposed to. I think that’s the direction Infold want the player to feel in this chapter

and I’m with everyone here, when I read the story I don’t feel safe at all. I think we kinda thought the same thing ‘Sylus come pick me up, I’d rather be in the N109 Zone right now’ lol. But when I take a step back and think about it I do have some thoughts

The reason why we as a player feel safer in the N109 Zone is because Sylus rules the area. You knew from the start that this man is REALLY powerful. EVERYBODY is afraid of him. nothing can really touch him. We also kinda have an idea that he’s not a human from the start.

Caleb is not like the other 3 lis (Xavier, Rafayel, Sylus) who are some kind of immortal or deity.Sure his evol is really powerful and he’s really strong but at the end of the day he’s just a man. And with all the shits he has been through he realizes that he’s not invincible. he doesn’t have a privilege to not make a choice. whether it’s an ethical choice or not. and he’s trying the best he could to make sure you are safe. even it ended up making us players hate him in the process.

I do also think that unlike the N109 zone, Even Caleb himself doesn’t really feel safe in skyhaven. He’s also an imposter, a pawn to be used by somebody way more powerful than him. and He knew that letting you out and about freely is highly risky. With all the incidents that happened in the chapter & MC involvement kinda pushed him into fight or flight mode.

When we feel really, really unsafe about something in our lives, especially related to something we cherish the most, what do most of us tend to fall onto? The need to control. We instinctively try to control situations and things to make us feel safe and predictable. Sometimes we try to control things that we will later regret about it. Caleb is in full survival mode here.

── .✦ In conclusion

With all that being said I still do not agree with what he did to MC in the main chapter. He made a mistake, He owes her an apology tbh. But seeing the full picture did help me understand him more + In the next few 5 star cards that happened after the main story he appears to be really guilty towards her. MC being MC she easily let it go and doesn’t demand an apology from him (which I think he would get on his knees for her if she asks, I mean are you kidding? He would do anything for her. the down bad is so strong here)

Their story is definitely not for everyone. there’re a lot of improvements to work on in the future. The first thing is how they both need to learn to untie the co-dependency they have had since childhood. MC needs to set a healthy boundary with him and be less reckless. Caleb needs to respect MC to take care of herself and trust her ability to handle things.

When we look back In the latest muti-banner, the nightly rendezvous for other lis. all of them have their own development in the relationship.

Xavier finally confronting his possessiveness and MC addressing it to him

Zayne finally letting go of his ‘compose’ and ‘perfect’ facades and letting MC see his inner-child side more

Rafayel finally opening up about his fear & pain he had gone through to MC

Sylus… being Sylus lol (on his card it has to do with MC’s development more than him, so)

all of these took a pretty long time. So with Caleb I’m sure we will see some issue in their relationship being improved later.

(Even some might say. "Nope, he doesn't need fixing" with that I would say "Good for you" 😌🤌🏻)

#love and deepspace #lads #caleb lads #caleb x mc #lads caleb #ove and deepspace caleb #caleb love and deepspace #caleb lnds #love and deep space #caleb #love and deepspace caleb #xia yizhou #calicookenpost #🦢: post

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wolls-angel · 21 days ago

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୨୧ ‧₊˚ long day - j. woll ˚₊‧ ୨୧

pairing: j. woll x fem!reader summary: Y/N is exhausted and Joesph hasn't really noticed until she breaks down after a long day. request: Can I request?? Joesph Woll (my one true love) with reader maybe something along the lines of ‘you look after everyone else but who looks after you’ like super soft ?! I can’t write but I NEED this please, of course only if you are up for it🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 word count: 1078 warning(s): FLUFF, established relationship, joe being oblivious, not proof read notes: my first request !! i know exactly how reader feels rn. finals are kicking my ass. this is not crazy long because i'm still learning to write long fics but i really hope you enjoy it !! xoxo

Joe's keys jingle as he unlocks the door to your shared condo. He kicks off his sneakers and drops his gym bag on the ground.

"Hey, baby, I'm home!" he raises his voice so you can hear him from another room. There's no response. Weird, normally you are working in the kitchen or taking a nap by the time he gets home from practice. The TV in the living room is off and the condo is eerily silent.

Making his way down the hallway towards your bedroom, he opens the door. The bed is made and your purse, keys and phone are gone from their usual spot on the nightside table. Joe furrows his brow in confusion and walks back into the main area of the house. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sees a missed call from you, but only one. And no texts.

Wandering into the kitchen, he sees a sticky note on the fridge. Joe takes it off and reads it.

Got called into work. See you at 9:00.

9:00? It's only 5:00 right now. He pulls out his phone and opens your chat.

Sorry about work, sweetheart. See you when you get home.

He sighs. You weren't scheduled to work today. You weren't even supposed to be called in today. He rubs his eyes and yawns. Five hour practice has him wiped. He'll just watch Seinfeld and wait for you to get home, he decides. Then you can both eat together and go to bed.

"Ow, fuck!"

Joe eyes open fast. He jerks awake and almost falls off the couch. He blinks a few times and turns over on his back.

"Joeeeee!!"

He jumps slightly again. You make your way into the living room, "Why are your shoes and bag just in the middle of the floor? I just tripped on them". You look at him with your mouth slightly open, emphasizing you shock.

"Sorry, baby, I-". "Whatever, I'm going to bed" you walk towards your bedroom and close the door hard. You change quickly into more comfortable clothes before Joe walks in.

"How was your day?" he asks, coming over to sit on the side of the bed with you. "Long," you reply, not looking up from your bag as you rummage around, searching for a hair slip. Joe chuckles, "I assumed so, but that's not what I asked. How was your day? What did you do?".

You look up at him and he notices tears swelling in your eyes. "Can I have a hug?" you ask softly. He nods, "Of course". Immediately, your arms wrap around his waist and he can hear soft sobs coming from where your head is buried in his chest.

"Y/N, is everything ok?"

You lift your head and look at him. You nod slowly, a single tear falling from your left eye. Joe moves his thumb to wipe it away and you sniffle.

"Don't lie to me, love. You know that doesn't work."

As if on cue, you start sobbing once more. "Today was so hard, Joey. I have exams coming up and I have barely studied. I was called into work because Jessica called in sick and we are short staffed. Even though I told my boss I couldn't come in, he insisted. He said he'd pay me time and a half but it wasn't worth it.". You pause and inhale deeply, then continue, "Jessica has done none of her work for an article due for publishing in two days, so I basically edited the whole thing. And then on the way home, my sister called and said she needs us to watch the boys next week while she and her husband go to Seattle. We don't have space for them, Joe. But, of course, my mom can't because she is off in Europe for 6 weeks. So, who else will they go to? An orphanage? No, they will come live in our not baby proofed one bedroom condo for 4 days".

By this point you have stopped crying as much and are more in a rant of rage than anything. Joe sits quietly with his hand on your back, feeling your heartbeat. He listens. Normally, you are a ray of sunshine. So peaceful and bright. However, right now, you seem more like a bridge collapsing under too much weight.

"On top of that, I missed the exit for Wendy's so I didn't even get to eat. I'm starving and I'm tired and burnt out and I can't rest because everyone needs something constantly. I'm just... done". You stop ranting and sigh, feeling defeated.

"Wow"

You look up at him, confused, "What?"

"Y/N, you're so... strong". Joe smiles softly and continues, "You take care of everyone. All their bullshit, all their needs. Even mine. I come home every night to a wonderful girlfriend who is getting her education and has a demanding job, but still makes sure my home feels like home. You look after everyone else. But let me ask you something, baby, who looks after you?"

You tilt your head in confusion at the question, "I don't know. Me, I guess". Joe shakes his head. "Wrong, I do. Or, at least, I should be. I'm sorry I haven't noticed the pressure you are under. Do you work tomorrow?"

You nod again. He shakes his head once more, “Call in sick. I have practice early tomorrow but no game. When I get home, I'll help you study for exams. Then, I'll take you out for a nice dinner and we can go see a movie. Sound good?"

You nod again, this time with a small smile forming on your face. He picks you up, slamming you back down on the bed. You laugh and yawn.

He asks, "Time for bed?"

You stretch and wipe your eyes. "Mhm, long day". Joe laughs and slips you both under the covers after turning off the lights and closing your blinds. He places his arm under your head and you body instinctively shifts toward him.

"Joe?" you ask, your eyes already closed.

"Hmm?"

"Tomorrow... can we go to the pretty library to study? The one... on Queen?". Joe chuckles at the pauses you take mid sentence. You must truly be exhausted. "Of course, baby, anything you want," he replies, stroking your cheek and tucking your hair behind your ear, "I love you, Y/N".

"I love you too, Joey"

#⋆. 𐙚 ˚ angel writes #⋆. 𐙚 ˚ angel writes; joey #nhl fanfiction #nhl fluff #nhl fanfic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl players #nhl x reader #joseph woll #joseph woll fluff #joseph woll fanfic #joseph woll x reader

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taylormarieee · 1 year ago

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Close Friends Luke Castellan

Summary: After that night you try your best to avoid Luke, but he wasn't going away that easily...

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Fem!Aphrodite!Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Confessions, slight angst, Wingman Annabeth, Sexual tension, More sexual tension!!!, Reader avoiding Luke, Clarisse makes a comeback, Clarisse and reader become close friends, sadly a cliffhanger...

It's been a whole 2 days and you have been trying your absolute best to avoid Luke.

Sitting alone during lunch.

Avoiding him during Capture the Flag.

Avoiding him during certain activities that involve partners. You don't know why you kissed him.

You knew him for a day. A DAY! Who on earth catches feelings for someone in a day.

Maybe it was your moms doing but you just couldn't control the feelings you had for him.

He was so cute and incredibly attractive. Who wouldn't want a guy like him.

He's funny, charming, confident, nice, caring, and incredibly handsome.

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't notice him coming up to you.

3:35pm

"Hey. Can we talk?" He asks you. You look up at him and as our about to make an excuse he shakes his head. "I don't wanna hear a bullshit excuse."

Your eyes widened. You notice he has a serious expression. Not one of happiness and charm like he usually does.

Were you hurting him? Hurting his feelings? You stay silent and he sits down.

"What did I do. You don't talk to me anymore. You don't sit with us anymore. You don't hang with me anymore. Why? Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you in anyway? Were supposed to be friends. You don't even talk to Percy or Grover or Annabeth anymore! What the hell is the problem?!" He says upsetly.

He was pissed. More than pissed, he was furious but he tried his hardest not to show it and yell at you out of anger.

"I-I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong and neither did the rest of them." You say glancing over to them as they watch from the other table.

"I just can't be around you anymore..." You whisper lowly hoping he wouldn't here but of course he did.

"W-what?" He asks, fae slowly morphing from angry to sad in a second.

Before you could even explain why your mouth just shut again and he looked at you waiting for a response. Silently pleading for one.

But you didn't say anything. You just sat there and stared at your food. He was tired of your games now.

It's either you had feelings for him like he has for you or you didn't want to be with him at all.

"Fine. Don't even tell me. If you didn't want to be friends, you should have said that. Can't believe this." He scoffs and aggressively gets up. Leaving you there.

You try to silently cry as you watch him leave. Percy, Annabeth, and Grover watch as he storms off and watch you just sit there with tears leaving your eyes.

They were all confused but didn't even go to comfort you, and they had every right not to...

4:30pm

You were practicing with a bow and arrow when you see Annabeth out of the corner of your eye.

"Hey. Nice shots." She compliments. You smile at her and she returns it.

"T-Thanks." You say quietly. She frowns and looks at you. "I know what happened. You kissed Luke." She says nonchalantly.

Your eyes widen. "He told you!?" You ask so embarrassed. She chuckles and shakes her head.

"He told Percy. He was so giddy and happy when he told percy and then Percy told me." She responds

Hearing that made your heart drop. He was happy? "You really hurt him ya know. He was crying and i've never seen Luke cry. He's tough, but something...Something about you did made him fly to the moon. Made him smile wider than before." She says.

"He's my family. I don't like when he's sad. Please make amends with him." She says before walking away.

You stand there and think about what she said before walking away to your cabin.

9:25pm

You were on your way to the dinner when Clarisse came up to you. Her arms up in a surrendering manner.

"Not here to fight. Here to talk." She says with a smile on her face. "O-Ok."

You guys walk in silence towards the banquet hall and Your eyes catch Luke and Percy staring at you before looking away and talking.

You furrowed your bros wondering what they were saying. You sit down with Clarisse and she smiles.

"I wanted to be friends. I respect what you did, standing up for yourself. So ca we be friends, start over?" She asks staring at you.

You stare back and smile, "Yea, sure!" You respond with a smile. "Can you wait right here, I need to go talk to someone."

"Ugh I was actually gonna go back to my brothers and sisters. There waiting on me." She says.

"Ok. Peace out Clarisse." You say walking away towards Percy and Luke.

"Luke. C-Can we talk? I'm so sorry and I didn't mean to hurt you. Annabeth told me about everything and I really thought about it and I'm sorry. After kissing you I just overthink it and I didnt know how you felt nor w-why I kiss-" Your ranting to him and your interrupted by him wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you.

"I didn't tell her anything." Annabeth appears. Secretly standing there the whole time thanks to her hat her mother gave her.

You chuckle and look at him when he breaks the hug. "Your adorable pretty girl you know that?" He says with a smile on his face.

"I'm sorry for what I said. Shouldn't have snapped on you like that. I was just so mad because I thought you didn't like me back." He says

"Friends?" You ask.

"Friends. Close friends." He says with a wink on his face. You giggle and sit with them for the rest of the night until it's time to go to bed.

10:57pm

Luke was walking you to your cabin. "I love you Luke. I mean granted it's only been 3 days since i've known you, I just adapted a crush on you." You confess.

"I've loved you the moment we made eye contact." He says chuckling at how corny that is.

"I guess it was love at first sight." You say chuklong with him.

"God that's so corny..."

"But true. I am the daughter of Aphrodite after all." You say laughing. He smiles at your laugh. He could listen to it on repeat all day.

You guys finally reach the cabin and he stops in front of you. "Welp this is my stop." You say.

"This is your stop M'lady." He says with a smirk as he bows. You giggle and playfully hit his arm.

"Get up you goofball." You tell him, "Before we get caught."

"But that's what's so fun about it." He says smirking at you. You two just stand there staring at each other.

"Well, uh I'm gonna go." You say smiling before walking up the steps to your cabin.

"Hey wait!" He yells before running up to you. He grabs your waist and kisses you.

You kiss him back passionately and gently grab his curls. He pushes you softly against the door of the cabin eagerly grabbing your soft hips and your waist.

"See you tomorrow pretty girl." He says smirking before walking away.

"Wait! What does this make us?"

"Very Close friends." He says with a wink.

"But Luke I don-"

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" Chiron yells out.

Oh no... You two were in deep shit...

Taglist: @angelicdanvers @rhydianissuperior @csifandom @prettyinsatiable @reader-bookling123 @istillremberthefirstfallofsnow @lizziesfirstwife @glorywielder101 @kneehe-nehar7

A/N: Huge thank you to all of you for reading and leaving comments! I really appreciate it! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I will be posting the next chapter tommorrow! Huge thank you to @angelicdanvers again because without her I wouldn't have even been inspired to do this!

#luke castellan pjo #luke castellan imagine #lukecastellan #luke castellan #pjo x reader #pjo series #pjo tv show #pjo show #charlie bushnell

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starberry-cupcake · 19 days ago

Text

I started reading and writing this recap, then I got sick, so now that I'm able I want to pick it back up before I forget where I even was

previously in nonita del 9:

this is the first part and chapter

this is the general tag, for those who stumble upon this in the wild and, for some reason, want to read all the rest

CHAPTER 2

nonita is talking about how she's actually one of potentially two people

and describes herself in the following terms

"skin the color of the egg carton, and eyes the color of the egg mixture, and hair the color of the burnt-out bottom of the pan...a thin, complicated face...nice white teeth in a smile that looked sad no matter how happy she was"

she thinks she's gorgeous

ok cyrus the lyctor with the nudes whose last name I don't remember and I was about to google when autocomplete scared me and I closed the tab

I'm not allowed to google things for these recaps, I should know better

anyway, gideon eyes

so is this harrow's body but gideon's soul while harrow's soul is in the river with the emperor???? or what's happening???

did gideon's soul get scrambled upon returning from the river somewhere???

if it's gideon's soul in harrow's body, it'd make sense with her thinking she's gorgeous and kissing the mirror tbqh

unfiltered gideon behavior

but the memories of the pool were harrow's??? because she remembered gideon's arms????

gideon's arms are very memorable, I've heard

which reminds me, where's gideon's body????

also, is this new personality who lives in a cumple gonna switch back to who it used to be or merge together?

is this happy-go-lucky attitude gonna disappear or combine?

I remember back when I didn't know anything about these books (and all I saw was the covers and knew that gideon and harrow were a ship), I thought nona was their child in like a distant future

I don't know why I thought that, I just filled in the gaps with that

those were simpler times

so nona is kinda vain about her looks, apparently??

I posted this before but, this was her at a queue when someone was hitting on her

she's nonchalant about people wanting to sleep with her and camilla says "sex things were right out. She said there were enough problems in the world"

I'd love a tshirt like this, actually

so am I to understand that gideon and harrow got blended somewhere in the river and reborn as a "born sexy yesterday" lovechild??

I don't know, man, I'm just gonna continue

pyrrha, palmolive and camilla are trying to teach nona things but also not teach her things, because they don't wanna skew the results on who she is

in case it comes back to her that she can wield a sword or do playdoh stuff with bones

what she can do, apparently, is pick up any language by watching people speak it

which, in a planet of refugees, comes up very frequently

palmolive (and me, also me) is like "where tf did this come from?????"

I mean, I guess either harrow or gideon could have that from before, since I don't think they were exposed to anything other than the one language, did they?

I can't remember??? I don't think gideon did??

or is it new???

she downloaded a star trek universal translator on the way down from the river, as a treat??

also, out of the two of them, if this is just one of them, I think harrow would be the one more mortified by everything that's going on during this time, just putting it out there

CHAPTER 3 (we have an apple tree rather than the tomb at the start of this one)

nona says she "doesn't just want to be good-looking and dumb", so she got herself a job

which says a lot about the value of productivity in self worth, even in situations of dire stress and danger, but I digress

if this is harrow, she's gonna hate all this so much

the body maybe is harrow's? because the school lady think's she's 14, and that gave me mercygirl vibes of saying she's less years every time she looked at her

and she wants to send nona to school

the lady also has suspicions of pyrrha being camilla's and nona's pimp, so pyrrha has to flirt with her to distract her from that line of thought

and says she'd be luckier being a pimp for augustine and alfred

so, nona insists on going to school and is allowed because palmolive is combeferre-coded and loves education

I mean, I agree, but also, at what cost, in this case?????

so, nona goes to school and befriends a bunch of kids who ask her for drugs but then relent and let her join their clique anyway

because she takes care of the teacher's dog, which always gives people points socially

kevin is really adorable btw we love kevin

one of the kids, the leader, is called hot sauce and I think she's been through a lot

like, more than the rest of the kids

one has like 5 fathers, but still

she's the only one not ready and willing to go attempting to kill necromancers, which the other kids want to do

nona can also read people's body language very well, to the point in which she can tell when people are lying, uncomfortable or hiding something

another thing that may or may not be from Before

anyway, nice kids, I'm sure nothing bad is gonna happen to any of them

right?

right????

we'll leave it there for now! next chapter starts with a seventh house skull so idk what we're in for at all, as long as not!dulcinea isn't back...

#I've been confused reading all of these books but this one has me like ?????????????#luly reacts to tlt #nona the ninth #nona the ninth spoilers #long post #tlt spoilers

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foreingersgod · 10 months ago

Note

ok hiiii! i’m the anon that asked for nika! sooo maybe a fic where reader is another players sister (or best friend, whatever you think would fit) and the player brings reader to a game and reader meets nika and it’s like love at first sight? maybe not as cringy as i made it sound lol, but i hope you get what i mean!

💗💗

to requester: i saw your other request and decided i’ll do them separately so we can enjoy more nika content!

Best Friends Sister . NM

pairing: nika muhl x reader

synopsis: you tag along with your parents for your sister’s game, not knowing it would be the best decision of your life.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

paigey: are you coming tonight with mom and dad or no?

you: only if you don’t hit me with another basketball then sure

paigey: i said i was sorry, dude. you should come though, i haven’t seen you for a minute

you: yea sorry, been busy and stuff. i’ll be there!

it was rare for you to attend your sister’s games on a regular basis. as much as you loved her and wanted to support, you were slammed with work and school and friends, the whole 9 yards. plus, watching millions of girls freak out over your sister was not your idea of a good time. but you’d been missing paige lately and wanted to show your sisterly support at least a few times this season.

so there you were, sitting outside your apartment on the concrete steps of the building, waiting for your parents to pick you up for the game. clad in UCONN attire, you picked at the weeds growing in between the cracks of stone.

arriving at the stadium, you could already sense the chaos. seeing all the girls there to see your sister play, it was a weird feeling. but once you made your way closer to the court with your family, seeing how happy paige looked out there, it made you feel insanely proud.

UCONN was up by 6 and your sister was killing it. being able to see her improvement throughout the game was truly rewarding to see. you cheered and hollered for each score until the end of the game finally rolled around, UCONN secured the win.

paige celebrated with her team for a few moments, reveling in their success before making her way to where you all sat. she greeted your parents with hugs, mom kissing her on the cheek and dad patting her back. then she maneuvered to you, dabbing you up before pulling you into a hug or your own.

“you killed it out there loser,” you congratulated “glad i got to see you play tonight, i’ve missed you!”

she laughed “thanks, me too”

paige worked her way around the rest of your family, taking time to chat with everyone. then she pulled you aside, motioning for you to follow her back down to the court.

“what?” you questioned, showing up at her side.

“thought i’d introduce you to everyone, plus aaliyah hasn’t seen you in forever and has been begging to see you”

you were always close with a few a her teammates, some of them being in paige’s life for so long that they became a part of your family. aaliyah, you were especially close with. but a lot of her other, newer teammates, you had yet to meet.

when you arrived on the court, paige leading you to the team, you started to spot some familiar faces. aaliyah ran over to you the second she saw you. pulling you into a bear hug and scolding you for not visiting more often. you greeted ice, too, congratulating her on a good game. it was nice to see them all again, catching up for lost time.

while in a conversation with aaliyah about how your job was going, paige politely pulled you aside again. she dragged you through the small crowd saying “i wanna introduce you to someone, i don’t think you’ve met yet”

finally, she stopped pulling you, coming to a halt just in front of the bench seats. paige was right, some girl you didn’t recognize sat on one of the seats, wiping the sweat from her brow and catching her breathe.

“hey, nika, i wanted to introduce you to my sister, YN!” paige said over the havoc of the stadium.

she looked up upon hearing paige summon her, eyes moving from paige’s and then to yours. she caught your attention right away, and suddenly, nothing else mattered once you locked eyes with the girl.

nika, you recalled paige calling her that, was the most beautiful girl you’d seen in your entire life. you studied every feature of her face right in that moment. her hair, you could only imagine how soft it was, pulled back in a near ponytail. her rosy cheeks, flush from exhaustion and excitement. her pearly white teeth that were so bright when she smiled at you. she was perfection if it were a person.

she was examining you as well, you could tell by the ways her eyes flickered between your eyes and down to your lips (triangle method iykyk). for a faint moment, it was just the two of you, lost in each others gaze. there was something about her, you couldn’t place it, but you wished you’d never have to look away.

unfortunately for you, your day dreams were interrupted when paige spoke up, confused by the silence.

“earth to nika” she waved her hand jokingly in front of her face “did you hear me? this is YN”

her eyes painfully pulled away from yours, looking at paige in surprise “right! sorry, i think i’m still a bit light headed”

she stood up, walking towards you and extending her hand out to you “very nice to meet you, YN, i didn’t know paige had a sister!”

your throat fell dry as you took her hand, gently shaking it. her touch lingered as her fingers swept against yours “nice to meet you too! yea i’m kind of all over the place and not around much so the team hasn’t seen a lot of me recently”

she eyed you again as you spoke. she tucked loose hairs behind her ear, smirking in a sultry manner.

“i get it, life’s busy” she bit her lip just enough for you to notice “but i’d..um-i’d like to see you around more”

“yea, hopefully i can stick around for a few more games” you joked, trying to hide how flustered you were.

“i’ll count on it” she said, then turned back to paige as she fumbled around in her bag, getting ready to leave “hey i gotta go catch up with a few people, but i’ll see you tomorrow?”

paige nodded, saying her goodbyes for the evening.

“see you around, YN” nika remarked, shoulder brushing against yours slightly as she walked past you, leaning in to whisper to you “and uh, do you think that maybe…maybe i could grab your number from paige or something? only if it’s ok with you”

you nodded your head vigorously, “yea, yes that’s more than ok with me”

she nodded back, flashing those dazzling teeth at you again before rushing across the court. you turned to face paige and saw the contorted look on her face.

“what the hell was that?” she asked.

“nothing” you suppressed a smile “it’s nothing”

that night, after the excitement of the game had worn off and you were back home, you were tucked into bed about to fall asleep. your phone buzzed abruptly, cashing you to roll over and pull it from its charger. your eyes squinted shut from the bright light of the screen.

unknown: hey is this YN? it’s nika :)

you didn’t have to think twice before responding and creating her contact.

you: it is, hi nika <3

nika: sorry to text you so late, paige was…very hesitant about giving me your number lol, but i was hoping i could take you out sometime if you’d want?

you: haha she’s annoying sometimes i’m sorry!

but i would love to you out with you!

nika: great! are you free friday? maybe 6ish?

you: definitely, it’s a date <3

you couldn’t stop smiling as you texted the rest of the night. who would have thought a basketball game would have changed your life completely?

#nika muhl #nika mühl #nika muhl x reader #wcbb #wcbb x reader #uconn wbb

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lovelyliv0 · 8 months ago

Text

olderbrotherbestfriend!ghost x reader 18+ (MDNI)

you were chilling at home in your living room as you hear the door bell ring.

you go and answer the door and it was your older brother best friend, Ghost. the big, 6'5 military soilder.

you're not gonna lie, he was hot. but he wouldn't be someone you would go for because you didn't want anything to happen between him and your brother.

"hey ghost, are you here to see my brother?" you ask.

"actually.. I was here to talk to you." he said with his husky, British accent.

"oh, yeah, come on in. do you need anything?" you ask him as you close the door behind him as he walks in.

he didn't even look behind you when he muttered a "no" behind his mask.

you both go and sit down on the couch, across from each other. you sit with your legs together as Simon sits with his leg spread a little with his arms hanging in-between his thighs.

"so, what did you need to tell me?" you question him as you look into his eyes with his mask still on. his blue eyes looking you up and down before looking away and leaning back into the couch.

"look love, I don't want our friendship to go away after I say this but.." he trails off. "love, I think you're gourgous. you're funny, smart, and just overall just an amazing girl and I want you to know these feelings I have for you.."

you were left speechless. you knew he like girl before but you have never looked like anyone of them, so you never would have thought he would be interested in you.

"well, uh.." you stubble on your words, unable to let your thoughts leave your mouth.

"love, do yo-"

"we can't ghost." you interpret him. "you're 4 years older than me and my brothers friend. even if I wanted to, we cant."

you look at him as he gets up and picks you up, just to set you back down again, only on his lap this time.

you start to turn a bright shade of red as you can hear a soft chuckle coming from his mask.

you start to feel his thighs tighten up. you could feel the muscles rub against you're clothes clit.

"fuck lovie, I thought you didn't want me, hm?"

"f-fuck..." you moan out, feeling something build up in your stomach, soon losing that feeling as simon takes you off of his lap.

you whimper, missing that sensation. Simon then chucling as he takes of both your shirt and pants, as well as his.

soon, you're left in just your bra and panties and him in his boxer.

he then takes you back into his lap, taking off your bra and starts sucking on your tits.

you moan out as he kneeds one with his big, strong hand and suck and nip on the other.

"omg... ghost.." you moan ad he takings his mouth off your tit with a pop sound.

"no, my name is not ghost to you, it's simon." he says as he pickw you up from his lap and sets you down laying down on the couch.

he slowly pulls down your panties to see your pussy glossy from how wet you are for him.

"dam princess, you enjoying this?" you smirked as he starts to like at your folds.

"omg.." you moan out as he starts to suck on your wet pussy, slurping and nibbling at your pussy.

"f-fuck simon... I need you..." you whimper out, causing him to chuckle while still tounge deep inside your cunt.

he takes one final lick as he takes his head out of your pussy and starts kissing ou, making you taste yourself as he pulls down his boxers.

you break the kiss and look down to see his cock spring out, causing you to gasp a little.

he was huge. at least 9 inches, maybe more, covered in veins, and rock hard.

he noticed you staring because he soon says, "it's ok princess, we can go slow." he reassures you.

all you could do is nod as he lays his cock on your pussy, causing you to clench at nothing.

"I'm gonna slowly go in, ok?" as you nod.

"words love."

"yes.. that's ok"

he nods as he slowly pushes inside you. you cry out, never taking someone as big as him or as thick as him.

he made sure you were ok as he slowly pushed more inside of you.

you and ghost stay in the same position as you start to get used to his girthy cock inside of you.

"you can.. go now" you moan out, him just grunting in response.

he started to slowly thrust in and out of you, causing you to grip his back, possibly leaving scratches to his already manybattle wonds.

"omg.. Simon! fuck!" you cry out as he starts to slowly pound your puffy pussy.

he grunts as he starts thrusting deeper and deeper, pulling your legs above your head to getting deeper inside your abused cunt.

"shit princess, you're do tight around my cock. fuck" he grunts in your ear.

you start to feel him twitch inside you, making you know that he's about to come.

"oh god.." you moan out as you feel that same stomach feeling you felt earlier.

"fuck I'm gonna come.. I'm gonna come inside ok?" he says as he pounds harder inside of you.

with one final hard thrust, you feel your legs shake as your release mix with his.

you feel a hot, sticky rope shot inside of you as your legs still tremble from your own release.

ghost then grunts as you feel him exit your hot pussy. you whimper, missing the feeling of being full.

he moans as he see his seed fall out of your wet cunt, leaving your thighs covered in his juice.

"fuck baby, you look so good with my seed dripping out of you like that.." he grunts as he leans down to kiss you.

"listen lovie, I love you, you don't have to say it back but I just wanted-"

"I love you too simon.." you say to him, interrupting him.

you both look at each other and start to fall into a deep kiss again.

#simon ghost riley drabble #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #ghost cod #cod mw2 #cod #smut #x reader

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streamafterlaughter · 2 months ago

Text

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter VII: Choose Love or Sympathy

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev. | diaries coming soon

songs for this chapter: xo by fall out boy, lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, king for a day by pierce the veil

a/n: hear me when i say these two are absolutely in for it it. I'm also a huge fan of italics apparently

chapter tags: angst, hurt/comfort but then... hurt/no comfort (SORRY!), reader is a sensitive baby we love her, mean!Eddie, but also very sweet Eddie. swearing, smoking, drinking, reader struggles with self image / mental health (vague for now) | fic tags: angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU

DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Reblog/comment/like to support the author! Join the tag list!

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotine @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj @losingmygrasponreality |

The weekend comes barreling towards you sooner than you’d have liked. You wake up Friday morning with a sense of dread, Robin’s words on a broken loop in your head: what you ‘know’ isn’t the whole goddamn story. Everyone keeps fucking saying that, but no one has actually told you what you “don’t know.”. Chris hasn’t given you a goddamn leg to stand on, speaking in riddles and never once confirming or denying a thing. You’re an adult, and you wish these fuckers would start treating you like one.

On your nightstand, your phone buzzes repeatedly, a string of incoming text messages:

bobbins: so,, ive smoked some weed bobbins: im cool now bobbins: i still think there’s a lot we don’t know,, bobbins: but I’m sorry for insinuating you should forgive him. bobbins: i cant imagine how you felt that day. bobbins: i love u bb

You scramble to respond before she can get another five messages in,

it’s ok bob, i love u 2

The subject changes swiftly as she tosses questions about tonight at you one after the other. You send her pictures of your outfit choices, hairstyle ideas, personal protection list before finally asking her the question gnawing on your brain.

What if he doesn’t like me?

Robin responds by calling you.

“Hi?”

“Don’t be stupid.” She starts, not letting you explain. “He asked you out, why wouldn’t he like you?!”

“I dunno! Maybe he’s just looking for a hookup. Maybe he thought I’d be easy?” The suggestion sounds silly coming out of your mouth, and you hear Robin scoff at you.

“Look, if things start to stink, call me. Steve’s closing tonight, so he’ll be right down the street.”

You sigh into the receiver. “Okay, okay. You’re right, I’m probably worried for nothing.”

“Atta girl! Now go on, go headbang or whatever it is you people do.”

You snort as you say your goodbyes, and hang up the phone. Without Robin to distract you, you turn to the outfits you’ve spread out on your bed. Emo Nite is casual, sure, but you still want to look good. You decide on a pair of Tripp pants, adorned with metal hooks and chains, pairing it with an old Paramore shirt you cropped with kitchen scissors in high school. With your outfit out of the way, you sit at your vanity to do your makeup, extending your winged eyeliner a little further than you would on a normal day. When you’re done, your alarm clock reads 8:30, and you make your way to your car.

–

9:15.

The lights of the city seem to dance across the sky. Everything is louder here, bustling with nightlife you could only dream of seeing in Hawkins. You’re standing outside the club alone, nursing the end of your last cigarette. Maybe he’s running late? You don’t have a single unread text from Scotty. You type several different messages of your own, deleting each one before settling on “You on your way?” But its delivery is never confirmed. It’s grown cold outside, and you wrap your flannel tighter around you to keep the wind out. You should have brought a jacket, but you weren’t expecting to be outside for this long. You can hear the first notes of an old favorite song, followed by a bunch of 20 somethings cheering. Patrons are dressed in black, clad in leather and fishnets, their combat booted feet stomping into the venue. Emo Nite is a nostalgia cash grab, you know that, but you’re envious of everyone setting foot inside, surrounded by their friends and peers, leaving you abandoned at the door.

–

9:30.

The time taunts you from your phone screen. You’re waiting outside the club, the air brisk on your face. Every so often, the door swings open as someone enters or exits, and you turn to see if it’s someone for you. So far, none of them have been, and you’re debating whether or not to walk to the record store and ask Steve to hitch a ride back to his place to mope.

“Hey, Bee!” The voice calling you isn’t the one you’re hoping to hear, but it’s just as familiar. You find its source across the street, Macy waving at you eagerly as her bandmates and fucking Eddie follow behind. Oh, right. Like being stood up isn’t humiliating enough, now Eddie gets to tease you about it.

“What’re you doing out here, girl? It’s freezing!” Macy is sweet, holding your icy cheeks between her warm hands. You can tell she’s already had a few drinks.

“I’m, hm,” You clear your throat, “I’m waiting for someone.”

“A date? Eek! Hear that, Eds? Our girl has a date!” Her words send static through your veins. Since when are you anyone’s girl, let alone Munson and Macy’s?

“Mhm, okay, honey. Let’s go get you situated, yeah?” Eddie ushers her inside, handing her off to Fiona before returning to where you’re standing. Without a word, he lights a cigarette and offers it to you, and you take it without acknowledgement while he lights his own. After what seems like hours, the two of you choose to speak at the same time,

“How late is–” “Why did you–” “What?” “What?”

“You first,” Eddie gestures to you before pulling from his cigarette.

“Why did you tell Scotty to ask me out?”

“What in the world makes you think I told him to ask you out?”

“Look, she’s gonna kill me for telling you this, but Robin overheard you in the bathroom talking to Scotty at the bar. She walked in by accident, and you two had come in before she could leave. Anyway, you know she can’t keep secrets for shit, so she told me what you said to him. Why?” You cross your arms, attempting to hold in as much body heat as possible,but to no avail. Eddie notices, and immediately sheds his jacket, not giving you a chance to refuse it as he drapes the leather over your shoulders.

“I thought he was a cool dude. Thought you guys would hit it off.” His answer does nothing to satiate the hunger for every detail of every single thought that went through his brain up until this very moment. He is driving you fucking insane. “Hey, I bet I could get Macy to put you on the guestlist, so at least tonight won’t be a total waste?” Yet another peace offering from Eddie Munson. Hell must have frozen over.

He doesn’t wait for your approval before reaching into his inner jacket pocket of the coat that you have since put fully on to shield yourself from the wind, to grab his phone. After eagerly punching a few buttons, he holds the device up to his ear, plugging the other with his finger. “Hey, babe. I’m outside with Bee, Scott stood her up.” You can’t hear what Macy’s response is, but Eddie replies with, “You read my mind, honey. We’ll be in in a sec.” He ends the call and turns his attention back to you, his big brown eyes attempting, it seems, to read your mind. “You pissed?”

You shake your head, inhaling another drag of your cigarette. “Not really. Disappointed, I guess.” You pick at your cuticles, refusing to hold eye contact with Eddie, but that doesn’t stop him from boring his own into the top of your head; you can feel them penetrating your skull. “Could’a used the distraction.”

“Fancy me a distractor? Macy’s gonna be busy, I’m practically all by myself tonight.” You look up, and Eddie’s jutting his bottom lip out to pout at you.

“You don’t mind being seen with me?” You tease, flicking ash onto the concrete. You can’t imagine Eddie actually wants you to agree to this offer.

“Why would I? When have I ever cared what people think of me? Especially these posers.” He gestures to you, and you fake offense.

“Posers?! I’ll have you know I have met some of the most authentic punks at places like this, you dweeb!” You toss your cigarette butt on the ground, stomping out the embers with your boot.

“Sorry, sorry! I’m used to going to shows where people leave bloody. Not used to this side of the alternative Venn Diagram, I guess.” He flicks his own cigarette, mirroring your movements. “Shall we go inside?” You nod begrudgingly, and he opens the door to the club for you, stopping to give the bouncer your names.

–

The club is dark, expectedly. The lights flash shades of pink, purple, and blue as people dance and attempt to chat over the noise; and the whole scene is set to the music of your childhood and teen years. As Eddie leads you across the floor, you can feel your chest tighten, watching couples surrounding you, dancing or sloppily making out against the back wall. You let it sink in that you've been stood up. The first time in three years you’d even attempted to go on a date, and the guy didn’t even show up. You hum along to the song playing, a desperate plea for distraction from the situation in front of you. Meanwhile, Eddie leads you to a table away from the speakers, and shouts that he’ll be right back. You can only guess he’s off to wish his girlfriend luck.

While you wait, you observe the crowd around you, and it’s full of kids you knew in high school that used to bully you for liking this kind of music, dressed as caricatures with arm warmers and cheap chains dangling off their black skinny jeans. Conventionally attractive girls wear their eyeliner in heavy wings, their lips painted shades of dark red, dancing with boys in all black with long hair. You try not to think about what Scotty would have worn. You wonder if he even likes this kind of thing. Maybe it was a test, and you'd failed.

Just as you’re about to spiral into misery again, Eddie returns with two drinks in his hands. “You like shirleys, right? I wasn’t totally sure. I can go grab you something else if you want?” If you didn’t know any better, you would think Eddie was nervous.

“No, this is good. Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem!” He has to yell over the music.

“And, uh, thanks for hanging out with me. I know it’s like, the last thing you wanna be doing right now.”

Eddie takes a swig of his beer before responding, “Nah, definitely not the last thing. This is way better than listening to Steve talk about his latest conquest.” You picture the scenario, Eddie slamming his head against a wall while Steve goes on and on about Tracy, or Nicole, or whoever it is this week. The mental image makes you giggle, and Eddie’s smile seems to widen. It makes you uncomfortable, being so close to him. Luckily, though, you don’t get to think about it too long.

“Alright, alright! Thank you guys for comin’ out to hang with us! We have a guest for you tonight, please welcome Macy Miller, frontwoman of Statuesque Dolls!” The crowd cheers politely, these things never have people worth freaking out over. Macy takes the stage, clad in a silky black dress that hugs her form perfectly. Next to you, Eddie is whooping and hollering, “That’s my girl!” It makes your stomach churn. You’re reminded again that you’re supposed to be here on a date. You’re supposed to be someone’s girl.

“Alright, I got a couple of songs for you guys, but I need all of you up and shaking some emo ass with me, got it?!” You can’t deny Macy knows how to work a crowd. She gets people to migrate to the dance floor, and Eddie offers his hand out. “Can I have this dance?”

“Um,” You hesitate to take his outstretched palm. “What about Macy?” You point lamely to where Macy is killing her cover of Fall Out Boy’s XO.

“What about her? It’s a dance, Bee. I’m not, like, asking you to sleep with me or some shit.” Eddie frowns at you, like you’ve offended him.

He does have a point, though. One dance won’t kill you. You accept his gesture, taking his own massive hand in yours, and hope to god he can’t tell that yours is sweating. He leads you to the dance floor, waving to Macy from the crowd as he does. There’s a burn in your stomach when she blows him a kiss, and he pretends to catch it in his mouth. You’re close to bailing when Eddie turns his attention back to you, clearing his throat.

You stare back at him, eyes wide with fear that he’s going to bail, and you prepare to tuck your tail between your legs and call Robin. Instead, Eddie takes your hand again, and yanks you into his embrace. You bump into his chest, but he recovers the fumble by holding you there, free arm resting hesitantly on your waist. You’re frozen, having no clue where to put your hands, so Eddie takes the lead. He drops the hand he’s holding on his shoulder, and moves your other to meet it on the other side. He then rests both his hands on your hips, giving you enough space between his body and yours to breathe, but barely.

The song continues, melodramatic and overtly horny. That, combined with the warmth of the drink in your veins, plus the closeness of Eddie, makes you feel almost good. It’s difficult not to overthink, though, having him in your personal space, your bodies pressed together on a very hot, crowded dance floor, moving in ways you definitely wouldn't have done three hours ago.

“So,” Eddie muses, looking anywhere but at you as he speaks, but still able to move in sync with you. “How’s your day goin’?”

You snicker at his poor attempt at conversation. “Well, I got stood up, and now I’m dancing with who I would have bet this morning wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. All things considered, I think it’s going pretty horribly!”

The ice seems to crack as you speak, Eddie visibly relaxing as you sway to the music. “Okay, that’s fair. Are you pleasantly surprised?”

You look up at him, but his eyes are locked over your head, staring where Macy stands onstage, swaying with a few friends in front of the DJ booth. You shrug. “Jury’s still out.”

He snorts, rolling his eyes at you. After what feels like an eternity, the song ends and Macy queues another rock anthem to get the crowd moving again. You’re unmoving as Eddie unwraps himself from you. “We should do this again sometime.” He states, unreadable.

“What, dance?”

“Sure, or just, y'know, hang out. Be civil for once. It’s been awhile.”

You roll your eyes. “You know this can’t be, like, a normal thing. It bruises our reputation as sworn enemies.” A feeble attempt to make it a joke, though you know in your heart you can’t be friends with Eddie. The earth would cave in on itself.

Eddie chuckles. “Whatever you say, Bee. See ya ‘round.” And he leaves you alone, disappearing into the crowd.

–

It’s 11:30 when your phone buzzes. You’re four drinks deep, stirring another dirty shirley at the bar, observing the people around you having fun.

Scotty A: Hey! Totally meant to text you. Got stuck at work.

An avalanche of thoughts rumbles through you, most of them not safe for work. You don’t even know how to respond. There’s no apology, no groveling for your forgiveness, not a hint of actual, real regret. Like you don’t matter. It exhausts you to even think of what that date would’ve been like had he shown up. You type your response between gulps of liquid courage.

“Are you fucking serious?”

The "..." bubble appears, but quickly vanishes. You gape at your phone, wishing you were home so you could let out the blood curdling scream building in your chest. The anger vibrating through you needs an escape, so you lurch from your seat at the bar, rushing quickly out of the club. Eddie whips his head around as you pass him. You think you hear him call your name, but your eyes have started stinging and he’s the last person you want to see you cry.

The night air hits you hard, bringing separate tears to your eyes. Following your therapist’s advice, you start a box breathing exercise. Breathe in, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Breathe out, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four.

“Hey,” The voice startles you into a hiccup. “You okay?” Eddie has made his way outside after you, leaning against the wall. “Saw you dash outta there like something caught fire. Got worried.” He says it nonchalantly, and it takes you aback. Instead of responding, you flip your phone screen towards him. His eyes scan the page before they focus back on you, shaking his head. “That is so fucked up.”

Your voice breaks with your next question. “Did you know this was gonna happen? Scotty’s your friend.”

Eddie’s face drops into a grimace. “How would I have known? Why would I have told him to hit you up if I knew this was gonna happen?”

It frustrates you how reasonable he’s being. You want someone to yell at, someone to blame, and Eddie just so happens to be the closest target. “I don’t know! Maybe you did it as revenge, or something equally as immature. Maybe you wanted me to feel the same way you did when–”

He interrupts, shaking his head feverishly. “I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. Even you.” The words are a knife to your chest. You don’t like remembering what you did to Eddie that night, but it’s your fault for bringing it up. “I told Scotty to ask you out because he said he liked you. Crazy concept, I know, but i suggest you stop thinking everyone’s out to get you. I thought it would be fun, hanging out with you and him. I’m sorry it didn’t go how you planned, but blaming me isn’t fucking fair, Bee.”

He’s right, but you can’t bring yourself to back down. “It’s not fair to take someone’s brother away for six years, but you had no problem doing that.”

“Fuck you, Bee. Seriously.” He spits the words before turning on his heel, and heading inside. You are once again left alone, outside, in the cold.

–

#st #fics #munson #Eddie Munson x you #Eddie Munson x y/n #Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x oc!reader #hurt/comfort #hurt/no comfort #slow burn #angst #enemies to friends to lovers #modern au #reader is not an elder emo per se... she's 23-24ish #stranger things

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honeys-hotties · 1 year ago

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ok this is kinda specific but can I request a julien fic where she's not sure if the reader is into girls and they're all out and a random guy hits on the reader and jb pretends to be her gf to get the reader away from him. and the reader plays along and kisses jb so she gets her confirmation and then they just confess their feelings ugh 🥰🥰🥰

i love this request!!! sorry it took me sooo long my loves, i've been absolutely overwhelmed with everything recently, but this one has been in the works for a bit and i'm so excited to get it out!!

My Type-Julien Baker x Reader

julien baker x fem!reader, sorta angsty? but happy ending (of course!) not proofread so i'm so sorry in advance, but i wanted to get something out tonight!

word count: 2727 💗

“When do you want me to pick you up?” Julien asks, her voice coming from the phone propped up on the coffee table. You’re sitting on the couch painting your nails while she watches through the screen, her face close to the camera on the facetime call.

“Umm, what time did Phoebe want to meet us there?” you ask, carefully applying a second coat.

“I think sometime around 9?” Julien says, smiling at the sight of you, deeply concentrated on your manicure.

“Okay” you say, capping the bottle and blowing on your freshly painted nails. “Do you wanna come over and get ready with me before we leave?”. Julien nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, that sounds fun. When should I come over?” she asks, getting even closer to the screen. You pick up the phone, careful not to smudge your nails, and laugh at Julien’s expression, her face giant on the screen. “Oh, I don't care, maybe around 7? I can order a pizza or something?”

“Sounds good princess” she nods. “I’ll see you then. You smile and blow her a kiss before hanging up the phone and grabbing a bottle of clear nail polish to go over the red painted onto your nails with a smile.

Julien, however, is much less relaxed. As soon as you hang up the phone, she lets out a huge sigh and immediately calls Phoebe and Lucy to vent.

“Guys, I’m literally going over to her house to get ready with her, which really means watching her get ready, and I don’t know if I can take it.” she says dramatically. “She’s just so gorgeous and smart and funny and cute but I don’t even know if she’s into girls and I feel like I’m going to fuck up and make things SO awkward and if I ruin our friendship I don’t know what I’ll do and I just-”

“Yeah, I’m gonna stop you right there” Phoebe cuts her off. “First off, that girl is definitely not straight.”

“Oh one hundred percent,” Lucy chimes in. “Remember when she was auxing when we were at the beach and she played girl in red? And when she and I talked for like an hour about Portrait of a Lady on Fire?”

“Yeah, or when all of us were like, collectively drooling over that Angelina Jolie movie? Honestly, shoot your shot JB.” Phoebe encourages, Lucy nodding along.

“I don’t know guys, I really don’t want to fuck up our relationship. I mean, other than you guys, she’s my best friend in the entire world. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“Julien, even if she was straight, which for the record she’s definitely not, she would never, ever hold your feelings against you.” Lucy tells her seriously, Phoebe agreeing with her.

“I guess so.” Julien tells them. “Alright, I love you both, I’ll see you at the bar tonight.” Julien waves to the pair before hanging up, dropping her phone onto the table, and dropping her face into her hands.

When you answer the door you’re fresh out of the shower, fresh faced with wet hair, wearing an oversized Green Day shirt, and tiny shorts, and Julien feels like she’s about to have a heart attack.

“Hey, you” you say, giving her a tight hug before opening the door further and letting her inside. “I just called, pizza should be on its way soon!” Julien can hear music playing faintly from your bathroom, and is acutely aware of the smell of your body wash and the fact that you are wearing very little clothing.

“Yeah, sounds good.” she says, walking inside and taking her shoes off, before following you into the bathroom where your makeup and hair products are spread out over the counter. She sits on top of the toilet and watches you dry your hair while you tell her about your day and the drama between some of your friends, looking at you like you hung the moon. Satisfied with your hair, you drag her into your bedroom and sit her down on the bed, pulling different hangers out of the closet.

“Okay, so I have this dress I thrifted,” you tell her, holding up a short, black dress. “It has this really cool neckline, and I was thinking I could do my layer necklaces and those black heels?” You show her another hanger. “I have this skirt too, though, and I thought I could wear it with that red top and my leather jacket? And my boots?” Julien stares at you blankly, but really she’s just picturing you in the clothes you’re holding up and trying so hard to keep her cool. You gently wave your fingers at her. “Hey, earth to JB, you okay over there?”

She starts, and stares at you for a second, blushing wildly. “Oh, um, I don’t, I mean, I think they would both look good.” she stutters, glancing down at her tattooed hands which are fidgeting in her lap. You roll your eyes playfully, laughing gently at her words.

“But which one would look better?” you ask, waving both of the hangers in her direction. “I was kinda leaning towards the dress, especially cause then I would match your shirt, but I really wanted your input!” Julien flushes again at your words, before nodding her head in agreement.

“I um, I think the dress would look really gorgeous on you.” she manages, and you beam at your words, heading into the bathroom to change and leaving Julien a flustered mess on the edge of your bed. Reminding herself of Lucy and Phoebe’s encouragements, she tells herself to get a grip and get over herself, taking several deep breaths as she waits for you to come back.

When you return, fully dressed and putting on your jewelry, Julien swears she can feel her heart stop. You pause, slightly self conscious under her gaze, and cast your eyes down, fidgeting with the hem of your dress. “What, um, what do you think?” you ask her, slowly meeting her eyes with your own.

“I think you look stunning” she tells you, voice full of sincerity. “I mean, shit, you’re easily one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen.”

You flush at her words, and smile at her before grabbing your jacket and sitting down beside her to put on your shoes. “I think you’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen too, JB.” you tell her, and miss the way her face burns at your words. “Ready to go?” you ask her, straightening up and grabbing her hand, pulling her into the living room as she nods. “You sure you’re okay with driving?” you ask her, grabbing your keys and phone while she ties her shoes.

“Of course I am,” she reassures you. “You just focus on having fun tonight, okay?” You grin at her, and the two of you chat about the night ahead all the way down to her truck, where she holds the door open for you before climbing inside herself. As soon as the car starts, she hands you her phone, and you pull up the playlist she had made for the both of you, singing along to the music the whole way to the bar. Julien has her hand resting on your knee as you speed through traffic, and you have your window down, the cold, nighttime air rushing through your hair.

Once the truck pulls into a parking space outside the bar and Julien opens your door, grabbing your hand and leading you into the bar, things start to speed up. Once the two of you find Lucy and Phoebe, making your way over to the booth they had claimed and greeting them with tight hugs and cheek kisses, Julien offers to get the three of you drinks, and after she leaves, Phoebe pulls you onto the dance floor. You throw your arms around Phoebe’s neck and she guides your hips to the music, the two of you a giggling, sweaty mess under the flashing lights and blasting speakers of the club. After Julien returns with your drinks, you pull Phoebe towards the table and slide into the booth, leaning up against Julien who lays an arm across your shoulders as you sip your drink.

“Having fun out there?” she asks, her face extremely close to yours in order to be heard over the music and chatter of the club. You nod, grinning, and gesture towards Phoebe

“She’s taking charge,” you say, laughing. “I’m just along for the ride.” Phoebe winks at you, pulling you into her side and planting a sloppy kiss on your cheek, causing you to squeal and laugh. Lucy laughs loudly at the pout on Julien’s face at the loss of contact between the two of you, and Julien rolls her eyes, before quickly excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

In front of the mirror, Julien splashes water on her face, exhaling deeply and trying to talk herself up. The images of you dancing with Phoebe, the ones of you getting ready earlier, and every single second you had spent with her played in her head as she spiraled into a haze of overthinking and self-doubt. How could someone like you ever fall for someone like her, she wonders, but before she can get too deep into her own head, Lucy barges into the bathroom. Seeing the questioning look on Julien's face, Lucy cuts her off before she can ask:

“I know you too well, JB. I know you’re in here overthinking, but you need to be out there making a move.” Julien tries to protest, but before she can even get the words out Lucy cuts her off again, holding out a hand. “Don’t even try to give me any of that ‘she’s so out of my league’ bullshit either Julien, you two are made for each other and you know it. Now snap out of it and get your ass out there. Go get your girl!”

Julien grins ruefully at Lucy, thanking her for the pep talk before heading out of the bathroom to find you.

Meanwhile, you had wandered over the bar to get another drink for you and Phoebe. Julien was acting weird, barely making eye contact with you ever since you two had arrived, and you were stuck wondering if you had done anything wrong. When she had left the table, you had wanted to go after her, but Lucy insisted that you should stay, that she would go check on Julien. Phoebe had encouraged you to get another drink, so you were sitting in front of the crowded bar while the drastically overworked bartender made his rounds. You were so absorbed in what was happening with Julien you didn’t notice the guy next to you that had been ogling you from the second you sat down, until he opened his mouth.

“Hey you, come here often?” he asked, and you cringed internally, before tuning to find the man. He wasn’t unattractive, but his sleazy pick up line coupled with the stench of alcohol on him and the fact that he was way too close to you turned you off completely to the man. Well that, plus the fact that you already knew what you wanted, and it wasn’t him.

“Um, not really.” You said politely, before attempting to turn back around. The man’s hand on your shoulder prevented you from doing so, though, and you felt panic rising up within you. You tuned out whatever he was saying, searching frantically for Lucy, for Phoebe or Julien behind him, but with no luck.

“Like I was saying,” the man continued. “A pretty girl like you really shouldn’t be here all alone. Let me buy you a drink, then maybe we can keep getting to know each other at my place.”

You felt fear closing over you, your friends were nowhere to be seen and this guy was relentless. “No, really, I’m not interested.” you told him as calmly as you could.

“Why not?” he asked, grinning horribly at you.

“I’m not available.” you hear yourself say, to which the man scoffs.

“That’s what they all say, but I don’t see anyone here for you-” but the man is cut off by a firm hand sliding around your waist.

“Sorry about that, baby.” Julien says, pulling you protectively into her. “Line for the bathroom was crazy long. Who’s this guy?” she asks, pointing to the man whose slimy grin had slid right off of his face. Relief rushes through you at the feeling of Julien’s hands on your hips, and you exhale a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Don’t worry about it, honey.” you tell her, melting back into her arms. “This is, Matt, was it?” The man scowls.

“Mike, actually.” he responds, gruffly. Julien sticks out her tattooed hand.

“Mike, hi, I’m Julien. Her girlfriend.” she says gruffly, her voice and hands on you sending a wave of heat through your body. “And you’re obviously making her uncomfortable, so if you could leave, that would be great.”

“No, you know what, we were having a good time before you interrupted.” Mike scowled. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“I’m her fucking girlfriend.” Julien snaps at him, before pulling you into a strong kiss. You relax into her, throwing your arms around her neck and she pulls you in by the waist, standing between your legs and tilting your head gently upwards to meet her lips. You kiss her back feverishly, until she abruptly pulls away and steps back. “He, uh, he left.” she tells you, running her hand across her mouth. “Sorry about that.” she mutters, before turning on her heel and running out the door, leaving you sitting at the bar, speechless.

You stare at the spot where she disappeared into the crowd, heading for the door for a moment, before jumping up and stumbling after her. You pass by the booth with Lucy and Phoebe who are sitting, staring at you with smirks on their faces.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Lucy asks, smiling gently as you get closer. “Go get your girl.” Phoebe whoops at her words, and you roll your eyes playfully at the two of them, before turning towards the door and hurrying out into the cold air. Once you stumble outside, and walk a couple feet down the sidewalk, you see Julien in the alley, leaned against the bricks with a cigarette in her hand. You walk slowly towards her, watching as she takes shaky drags from the cigarette in her hand.

“Hey, Jules.” You call softly to her when you’re a couple feet away, and she slowly meets your eyes with her own red-rimmed ones. “Why are you crying?”

“Fuck, I’m so, so fucking sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, you just looked so uncomfortable and I wanted to make sure you were safe but I wasn’t thinking and-” but you cut her off, surging forwards to kiss her again. Your hands fly into her hair and she drops the cigarette, crushing it under her boot before pulling you in by your hips. She runs her strong hands up your back and bites your bottom lip gently, causing you to moan into her mouth, tugging gently at the roots of her hair. Moments later, you break away, panting, and she rests her forehead against yours, breathing hard.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” you tell her, placing a finger to her lips when she begins to protest. “You did save me, and you showed me that you feel this too.” you gesture between the two of you. “I’ve been waiting for you to make a move for like, forever!” you tell her breathily, giggling at the incredulous look on her face.

“Me?!” she asks. “I thought I wasn’t your, uh, your type, I guess”

“Well, you thought wrong.” you say, before lacing your fingers with hers, smiling at the beautiful grin that breaks onto her face. “Let’s go tell Lucy and Phoebe good night, and then you can take me home.”

Julien steals one more quick kiss before squeezing your hand gently and pulling you after her back into the bar, laughing as you stumble, and thanking her lucky stars she had been wrong about you.

#julien baker x reader #boygenius #julien baker #honey writes #phoebe bridgers #lucy dacus

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catherine-clover · 7 months ago

Text

The longest list of anti-endo sources I've ever seen

While trying to find something else using Tumblr's infamous search engine, I came across this absolute gem:

NINE SOURCES!!! That's a record!! This is incredible!

@radpocalypse, listen. I am about to tear these to shreds, but before I do, I want you to know that you have my respect for not only compiling the longest list of sources I have ever seen an anti-endo provide, and not only doing so seemingly not directly prompted, but typing out every single link by hand, on mobile, without making a single mistake. Incredible work.

And also, to be completely honest, if I had nine sources supporting a belief, I almost certainly wouldn't look into them this closely. But, hey, that's what strangers on the internet with opposing views are for.

One more thing before the debunk: Endogenic systems do not claim to have DID etc. without trauma. They just don't. Whether it could be possible is often debated as an edge case, usually just to win an argument against someone of the opposing side, but really, it's irrelevant for 99% of the community. A good chunk are questioning OSDD based on later trauma, but as far as I am aware, no one on this website is claiming a completely endogenic plural disorder.

However, I don't want to dismiss entire pages based on this alone without further commentary, and it's a fun intellectual exercise regardless. So, whenever I use green text, I'm just playing Devil's Advocate under the premise of "If I was claiming to have DID without trauma (which neither I nor anyone else afaik is), would this source actually debunk that claim?" My syster will also occasionally pop in with purple, since she was cocon while I was writing this.

My dad just walked into my room and literally said "hey how it's going". You know, like. Like that one post. Amazing.

Anyway, civility established. Now come along with me on this long long journey of ten minutes of reading. Maybe put some music on in the background, if that will help you get through it. I had Near's Theme on while writing.

Here we go.

Link 1: McLean Hospital

Ok, main thing that caught my eye was

According to a 2010 Psychiatric Times article, only 5% of people with DID exhibit obvious switching between identity “states.”

Very interesting! Even with all of the "idk who's fronting" memes, 5% is really not that high. Though maybe online spaces like these help train the ability to identify it? The reference trail leads back to a book by Kluft but I don't really feel like going through dozens of pages for this. Definitely making a note of this though; I wonder if there have been any follow-up studies on this.

Not much to say here other than that. No mention of plurality outside DID.

DID is associated with long-term exposure to trauma, often chronic traumatic experiences during early childhood.

Dissociation—or disconnection from one’s sense of self or environment—can be a response to trauma.

Dissociative identity disorder—a type of dissociative disorder—most often develops during early childhood in kids who are experiencing long-term trauma. This typically involves emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse; neglect; and highly unpredictable interactions with caregivers.

Why "associated", not "is caused by"? Why "can", not "is"? Why "most often", etc.?

Why such weak language?

Not that it couldn't be weaker.

I vaguely remember McLean getting into some hot water regarding a video they posted about DID, but didn't find anything concrete. Half-remembered anecdote aside, the author seems well-qualified.

C-tier debunk of this position. It's not nothing but it could be a lot better.

Link 2: Psych Central

It occurs in women 9 times more often than in men.

Very interesting statistic, but no citation provided.

Alters can show striking differences. For instance, one alter may speak with a different accent or have a softer way of speaking. They might have different opinions or a different gender identity, and even physical differences — like left- or right-handedness, or the need for a glasses prescription.

That's quite a stark difference here compared to the McLean article. What happened to "alters aren't that noticeable"?

But whatever, these are just interesting tidbits. None of this has anything to do with endogenic plurality. Nothing like "this is the only way to be multiple", no comment whatsoever.

DID is usually associated with adverse experiences in someone’s past and traumatic memories.

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition with strong links to trauma, especially trauma in childhood.

Bruh. This again?

In fact, the American Psychiatric Association reports that 90% of people with DID have a history of childhood abuse and neglect, based on research from the United States, Canada, and Europe.

Bruh. Seriously? 90%? You know what that leaves, right?

According to your own source, 10% of DID systems are endogenic.

But let's break this down. There's a big difference between the system being endogenic, and the DID being endogenic. This statistic is specifically referring to childhood trauma.

The wording's plenty vague though. This can absolutely be read as completely endogenic DID.

One review article from 2017 about the causes of DID noted that there was relatively little research on the condition to date.

The authors said researchers hadn’t yet investigated potential genetic and epigenetic factors. With epigenetic factors, the experiences and behaviors of your parents and ancestors can influence the function of the genes they pass down to you.

The authors of the review said scientists needed to do more research to investigate whether a person with DID might carry genes that can influence if they develop the condition or not.

This is particularly promising because studies have already shown that genes can influence dissociative disorders in general.

So you're telling me DID might be able to be passed down one or two generations? Wow. Again, this still has nothing to do with endogenic plurality, but I'm really glad I decided to play with this second angle, because it's so much more fun. We're certainly not at intentional self-inflicted DID here, but we are at this point a long way from certainly needing childhood trauma in all cases.

And also the reviewer is a military psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. So uh. Not bringing our best here.

Link 3: Mayo Clinic

Gotta love an article that's nice and short. This is just a brief summary of a bunch of dissociative disorders. Again, nothing about endogenic plurality.

Starting to run out of things to say about this. This whole post could probably be a fifth the length if I didn't feel like playing on hard mode.

Formerly known as multiple personality disorder, this disorder involves "switching" to other identities. You may feel as if you have two or more people talking or living inside your head. You may feel like you're possessed by other identities.

Each identity may have a unique name, personal history and features. These identities sometimes include differences in voice, gender, mannerisms and even such physical qualities as the need for eyeglasses.

Hey, that reminds me of someone.

There also are differences in how familiar each identity is with the others. Dissociative identity disorder usually also includes bouts of amnesia and often includes times of confused wandering.

Again, McLean looking really odd with its declaration of DID's covertness against great detail like this. However, its author is so far the best qualified. This one just says "Mayo Clinic Staff". Can't even know which of them worked on this. Some of them are psychs, but if any of them specialize in dissociative disorders, it doesn't say so.

Dissociative disorders usually arise as a reaction to shocking, distressing or painful events and help push away difficult memories.

I won't bother quoting even more wishy-washy language because this post is already at an ungodly length (about 1300 words so far) and we're barely a third done. But yeah, suffice to say, no nail-in-the-coffin 100% link to trauma.

Link 4: Rethink

We are a trusted information creator and accredited by the Patient Information Forum (PIF).

Their bold, for once. That's an alarm-ringing corporate phrase if I've ever seen one. Also, first thing on the PIF's website is "balancing the risks and benefits of AI in the production of health information". So this article might've been written by GPT. Awesome. And yeah, a lot of this whole website looks to me like a bunch of interconnected pages with stupidly long articles written by stitching together LLM generations. Does pass GPT0's test though.

This one is so long. I'll take the ten minutes to read through every word, which I don't think @radpocalypse did, just to make sure there's nothing here, but one thing that does catch my eye scrolling down to near the bottom is that they misspelled their first citation.

A quick look at this Carolyn Spring shows a lot being sold and credentials nowhere in sight. Awesome.

So already I don't need to read this. The information here is not at a high level of trustworthiness. It's maybe better than nothing, but seriously, one can and should do better. But I'll read it anyway, just for bonus points. Thanks to AccelaReader for making this bearable.

Many people will experience dissociation at some point in their lives. Lots of different things can cause you to dissociate. For example, you might dissociate when you are very stressed, or after something traumatic has happened to you.

Some of the symptoms of dissociation include the following:

You may have clear multiple identities.

It‘s important to remember that you could have the symptoms of dissociation without a dissociative disorder.

So according to this, multiple identities can be caused by intense but non-traumatic stress, and might not necessarily be a disorder. So, while I admit this is a little bit of a stretch, we're four links in and this is the first mention of plurality in general, so I'll take it. One point for endogenic plurality. (And again, none of this really matters anyway because this is the worst source so far.)

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is sometimes called ‘Multiple Personality Disorder.

If you have DID you might seem to have 2 or more different identities, called ‘alternate identities.

Two missing closing quotes. Really not a good sign.

They suggest that DID is caused by experiencing severe trauma over a long time in childhood.

Aha! Finally, something concrete against endogenic DID! Too bad it's buried in the worst source yet. If we believed we had DID, we would absolutely not reconsider that based on a sketchy webpage with suboptimal syntax and no credentials.

Ugh, finally done with that one. What a slog.

Link 5: DID Research

Aha! The infamous psych student's blog! That's what Sophie said, anyway. Not taking her word for it though. Let's see what we can find here, independently.

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is the result of repeated or long-term childhood trauma

Why wasn't this first? First sentence, so crystal clear. No two ways about this, transDID destroyed right out of the gate.

DID cannot form after ages 6-9 because individuals older than these ages have an integrated self identity and history.

Why wasn't this first? It's so plain, so refreshing after four pages of strategic ambiguity. Nothing left here for green. But still no mention of non-disordered plurality.

The author is impressively credentialed but doesn't seem to specialize quite near this area. She's certainly better than most, high above any random Tumblr user talking out of their ass, but the good stuff would be to get a DID specialist to explicitly spell out that endogenic systems are not possible.

Also should make note of this big fat legal disclaimer:

While the author strives to make information on this website as complete, reliable, and accurate as possible, the author makes no claims, promises, guarantees, or warranties about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the contents of this site and expressly disclaims liability for errors and omissions in the contents of this site.

If we did claim to have DID, this would rattle us a little but could ultimately be brushed aside.

Link 6: SANE

As usual, literally nothing about endogenic plurality. I'll just greenmode this.

The majority of people with DID have been through severe trauma in early childhood

And now back to our regularly scheduled nondefinitive language.

Fun fact: highlighting text on this website turns it invisible. Awesome.

A person needs to meet the following criteria to be diagnosed with DID:

- Two or more distinct identities or personality states, each with its own way of thinking and relating. - Amnesia and gaps in the recall of everyday events, personal information or traumatic events. - The experiences are not part of normal cultural or religious practice, or part of childhood imaginary play. For example, a child having an imaginary friend does not mean they have DID. - The symptoms are not because of substance abuse or other medical conditions.

Ah finally, a direct quote from the good ol' DSM. Notice the lack of a trauma requirement.

Funny enough, using only these criteria in isolation, we actually would count as having DID due to our grayout memory gaps when switching. DID is also listed in the dissociative disorders section of the DSM, not the trauma disorders section, so there is no implied criterion there either. However, there still remains the universal criterion of distress, which we do not fulfill. We are quite happy with ourselves.

DID is caused by severe childhood trauma, such as physical, verbal or sexual abuse.

Well, which is it?? Is it a majority association or a direct cause? Why the contradiction? Or is the emphasis on early childhood trauma?

Eh, whatever. Point is, green is once again shut down. But there is still no mention of endogenic plurality anywhere here!!

And no indication of who wrote this article, though the citation for direct cause is a dissociative disorder specialist. Does he actually say that in the cited paper, though?

Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is multifactorial in its etiology. Whereas psychosocial etiologies of DID include developmental traumatization and sociocognitive sequelae, biological factors include trauma-generated neurobiological responses. Biologically derived traits and epigenetic mechanisms are also likely to be at play. At this point, no direct examination of genetics has occurred in DID. However, it is likely to exist, given the genetic link to dissociation in general and in relation to childhood adversity in particular.

I hope you have a dictionary on hand. That sure is a lot of big words that aren't in Firefox's built-in spellchecker. Still, after making sure I got everything, it's clearly not so cut and dry here. And we're back on the "it could be genetic" point.

Tangentially related: I do like the dismissal of the iatrogenic model on the basis of the brain scans.

Neurobiological differences have been demonstrated between dissociative identities within patients with DID and between patients with DID and controls. Given the current evidence, DID as a diagnostic entity cannot be explained as a phenomenon created by iatrogenic influences, suggestibility, malingering, or social role-taking. On the contrary, DID is an empirically robust chronic psychiatric disorder based on neurobiological, cognitive, and interpersonal non-integration as a response to unbearable stress.

Anyway, we're not even on the original page anymore, so I'll call it here. No mention of endogenic plurality, and the citation that claims to dismiss endogenic DID doesn't.

Link 7: NAMI Michigan

While the causes [of DID] are unknown

I'm tired. Aren't you tired?

Treatment for DID consists primarily of psychotherapy with hypnosis.

Yeah I'm calling BS on this one

And no citations on this entire page, nor even the author's name.

Statistics show that DID occurs in 0.01 to 1 percent of the general population.

Research has shown that the average age for the initial development of alters is 5.9 years old.

No sources listed. This is definitely the worst link. Literally on the same level as a rambling Tumblr user in terms of credibility.

Doesn't matter that it says

This disorder is believed to be triggered by physical or sexual abuse in childhood

Couldn't even get this dogshit source to be firm.

This one gets an F.

Link 8: The Psychology Practice

Got scared for a moment there that it said ai. No, that's AL, a name. Also this was written in 2022, so we're definitely safe. Can't actually find any other info on this AL character, but at least we can look up the co-author.

Hm, can't find anything on her, either. Well, at least this is a step up from the previous link. Let's see what it has to say.

According to the Dissociative Identity Research Organisation (2018), DID is formed in childhood due to repeated trauma in early childhood (before age 10) before the personality is fully integrated.

I do like that these later links are direct with this. They don't seem to have a citation for that DIRO, though. Unless...

No. Oh no.

Ok, so this one was written by a couple of clowns who definitely didn't do their homework. Cool. I'm getting tired of humoring awful sources like this, so moving on to the grand finale.

Link 9: NAMI

Wait, this is the same group behind the zero-citation article from Michigan! But that was just Michigan. Maybe the main site can do better.

Ugh, it's just another list of dissociative disorders instead of DID specifically.

The symptoms of a dissociative disorder usually first develop as a response to a traumatic event,

Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired?

Often these identities may have unique names, characteristics, mannerisms and voices.

Often? Wow. Sure is a far cry from 5%.

Dissociative disorders are managed through various therapies including: - Psychotherapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) - Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) - Medications such as antidepressants can treat symptoms of related conditions

No mention of hypnosis, allegedly the primary method of treatment?? (/sarc)

and there was no mention of plurality being exclusive to dissociative disorders

Oh, and no listed authors either.

So, after three thousand words of analysis, all we've come up with are nothing burgers, dogshit, and dogshit nothing burgers. Out of nine links, only one briefly and indirectly touched on endogenic plurality, and it was in favor. Even the argument against the traumaless DID strawman is weak at best. These sources are bad, to put it lightly.

@radpocalypse, if you're reading this, firstly, thank you for powering through your ADHD and dyslexia to read thousands of words dunking on your masterpiece. Secondly, if you have any more sources that you think are backing you, feel free to send them my way. Just uh, maybe read them more closely next time?

And that goes for everyone here. If you think you have a better source, or if I made a mistake or missed something here, I am open to correction. I am open to the idea that I'm wrong and I have some unknown trauma to work through, but I certainly won't go digging unless I have good reason to believe it's there, and I haven't seen any good reason. And if you haven't either, maybe it's time to reconsider your position.

One last thing before I go.

Have you ever actually seen a pro-endo carrd, let alone one cited in standalone? I haven't.

Here's a much longer list of much better sources than yours supporting endogenic plurality compiled by the traumagenic Guardians System. I don't expect you to read anywhere near the whole thing; just pick a few links at random. And yes, while many of them are peer-reviewed papers, some of them are Tumblr posts, but those Tumblr posts cite peer-reviewed papers, so it's all good.

Thanks for reading.

#syscourse #sysconversation

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anjaelle · 2 years ago

Note

hii, can you write a dave lisewski x reader where reader is new at school and he volunteers to give her a tour of the school. Dave thinks she is really pretty and wants to be her friend, he asks questions about her and finds out that she likes comics and superhero’s just like he does and he asks her to come to his house after school to watch a new marvel movie that just came out. she says yes and they watch the movie at his house. during the movie dave just can’t keep his eyes off of her and he’s so in love with her even though he just met her.The movie ends and he walks her home because it’s getting late and he doesn’t want her to possibly get into some kind of danger. when they make it to her house( he finds out that they live close to one another) she thanks him for being so kind to her and kisses him on the cheek. he blushes and wishes her a goodnight. from then on they become great friends and maybe even more. (SORRY THIS IS SO LONG, js wanted it to be detailed so it’s easier for you!!🤭)

@baddestdu0y3t

Pairing: Dave Lizewski x New Girl!Reader

Warnings: None. Except general teen awkwardness?

a/n: Ok so I'll be honest and say that I haven't written for highschool characters since I was a highschooler myself about 10-11 years ago. So I'm admittedly a bit rusty. I probably won't make this a regular thing, because I don't really think I'm good at it haha. And I changed some things around and cut some things out for brevity, but kept the important bits. It kind of feels like a coming-of-age romcom.

(gif source)

--x--

Dave would happily get stabbed and hit by a car twenty more times if it meant he wouldn't have to deal with the current situation he was in. He'd dripped oil from his bacon egg and cheese in his lap, and tried to clean the stain with soap and water, which created an almost bigger stain. The hand dryer in the mens room wasn't working, there were no paper towels, and he was running late to homeroom. Todd gave him a sympathetic pat on the back and offered the ever-helpful comment, "Don't freak. It'll dry eventually."

But it'd been a half hour, and it hadn't dried completely. A few people passed him with looks of disgust.

This day was already turning out to be shit, and it was only 9 AM. He shoved his head in his locker, wishing that a sinkhole would form in the middle of the school and swallow him whole. As the hallway cleared, he noticed you looking down at at a paper and distractedly walking in one direction before turning a corner and disappearing. You then turned back around and walked past him again in the other direction, with a furrowed brow and a pouting lower lip. When you turned to pass him a third time, he closed his locker and awkwardly leaned up against it.

"Hey! Are you lost?" He nearly shouted at you. You stopped short, startled out of whatever daze you were in, and looked at him as if you didn't even notice there was another person in the hall until now. Any plans he had to have a normal conversation left him immediately. He cut his eyes away from you. It was like staring into the sun.

"Hi." You re-adjusted your bag on your shoulder, "And yeah. This school is way bigger than my old one and I'm kinda turned around."

"Oh, yeah, totally, for sure. It's--yeah, it's big." He said awkwardly pulling at the straps of his backpack, "I mean, the school is big. The halls are big. It's a maze. Even I still get lost sometimes, and I've been here almost 4 years."

God, Dave, shut the fuck up.

You giggled at him and he felt his cheeks warm at the sound of it.

"Um, can you help me?" You asked, quirking your head to get a better look at him.

"Sure. Yeah, I can walk you to your next class."

You smiled at him and he smiled back, revealing the cutest dimples you'd ever seen.

"What about your class?"

He peeked at your schedule and his brows disappeared under the curls on his forehead, "We have the same homeroom. So we'll be going the same way."

He was very different from the boys you talked to at your previous school. You thought of what your old friends would say about him. You weren't super popular or anything, but you navigated most social spaces with relative ease. It also meant hiding a lot of yourself. Dave had a kind face and warm eyes that studied you with a sense of eager curiosity that flattered you. Incidentally, you were curious about him too.

When you introduced yourself to him and shook his hand, you noticed immediately how strong his grip was and his calloused palms. Most guys you knew with hands like those played contact sports. He didn't seem like the type, at first glance. He seemed to notice your surprise but didn't quite understand the reason behind it.

"Sorry if my hands are sweaty," he said, instinctively wiping them on his pants.

You rushed to ease his fears, "No they weren't! You're fine." And then, "Do you play sports?"

"Nope. I mean...sometimes I play Wii Tennis. I don't know if that counts though."

You giggled again, "I think that counts."

Interesting. Maybe he did woodworking or mechanic stuff like your dad. You made a mental note for later.

You both strolled down the hall in no real rush to make it to your destination as you talked. He was incredibly animated and spoke with his hands when he got into the groove of the conversation. And when you talked about your old school or your family, he actively listened and asked even more questions.

"You're really cool," he finally said, breathlessly. If you could visibly blush, you're sure you would've. You've been called a lot of things, but never "cool" with such earnestness. "I just wish I'd met you when I didn't have bacon stains on my pants."

He looked down at himself again and grimaced at his own misfortune. You could almost laugh at how resigned he was. Like this was just an everyday thing he had to deal with.

"You could just do what the girls do when we have stains on our pants," you suggested. He quirked a questioning brow and you motioned with your hands. "Tie your hoodie around your waist. It'll hide the stain pretty well, I think."

His eyes widened like you'd revealed the secrets of the universe to him, "I...didn't even think of that."

He immediately took his backpack off and dropped it to the ground to unzip his hoodie. When you noticed his tee shirt, you heard an eager gasp slip from you before you could really stop it. His shirt had the different sketched out iterations of Batman's costume designs over the years, which included a mix of his comic and movie suits.

"I just really like your shirt." You explained as he tied his sweater around his waist. "I was raised in a DC household. My dad has a big box of old school batman comics in our basement that I used to poke through when I was a kid."

His face lit up at your confession, "You like comic books?"

"I used to. I mostly just watch the movies now. The good ones, anyway." You said, shrugging. In truth, you hadn't picked a comic up since middle school. You missed reading them sometimes, but you never really had anyone to talk about them with. So you just stopped. You explained as much to him and he hummed in thought.

"Well, you can always talk about them with me. Do you like Marvel, too?"

You scrunched your nose up at him and he gasped.

"I'm sorry," you couldn't help but laugh at his dismayed expression, "I just think most Marvel movies are corny. And the comics can be a little soap opera-y to me. Maybe I'll give the comics another try, but I don't think I've seen any recent movies other than Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok."

When he thought about it, he couldn't really blame you for feeling that way, "If you had to choose, would you say that those were your favorites?"

"Nope," you admitted, "My favorite is Captain America: The Winter Soldier."

"And not Civil War? That one's my favorite."

You shook your head as you both approached the door to your homeroom, "I may have only seen it in parts. I don't really remember it."

He bounced on the balls of his feet nervously and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "Well if you wanted...we could watch it at my house next Saturday. Only if you want. My dad and my friend Todd will be there, so it won't be just us. But they won't be weird either. At least, I don't think so."

You smiled at him as he babbled on, only reaching out to lightly touch his arm. "Let me ask my mom. She might ask for your dad's number, if that's okay?"

A small smile graced his pretty face.

He nodded, "Totally."

Todd wasn't super happy with the idea of you joining their movie night. But Dave watched him warm up to you until you were both practically friends, too. He felt a twinge of jealousy at how quickly you two got along, but he summed that up to just how friendly and easy to talk to you were. He knew the movie front to back, so he couldn't help but watch you study the movie with deep interest to see how you reacted to his favorite parts. When all was said and done, the three of you sat in the living room discussing Civil War and if you were Team Cap or Team Stark. You all seemed to be in agreement that Tony was a war criminal who indoctrinated child soldiers. But you all were in disagreement about whether Tony deserved to have his ass kicked by two super soldiers.

"He literally didn't even know that he did anything wrong!" You argued to Todd, who rolled his eyes.

"You're only saying that about Bucky because you think he's hot."

"Maybe so," you admitted, "but my point still stands. He was brainwashed, he wasn't responsible."

"So you wouldn't be upset if I killed your parents, and Dave knew but hid it from you, and then beat you up when you found out?" The blond asked, popping a pretzel in his mouth, "I dunno. I'd be pretty upset."

"That's different, Dave would tell me." You responded with a coy wink at your new best friend.

Todd groaned, "You think he'd throw me under the bus for you?"

"I mean--" Dave cut in, pushing himself from the couch to stand to his feet and stretch, "--she is really pretty. And she smells nice. You're not as pretty and you just smell like Axe."

Todd gasped in mock hurt and you motioned to yourself as if to say "look at the material."

When 9:00 hit, you said goodbye to Dave's father who invited you and your family back for dinner, and hugged Todd goodbye.

"You're still wrong about Tony." He mumbled.

"You're in denial."

"You're In denial."

When you broke away to hug Dave he hesitated, "I was going to walk you home if that's okay with you. No pressure. I just...Uber is expensive on Saturday nights, and I know you don't live too far. But I don't want you to feel unsafe."

You noticed Todd shoot an odd glance at Dave before schooling his features. You made another mental note, but nodded.

"Sure, thanks."

You still weren't used to how long city blocks were. So even though you lived only a few blocks away, it felt like so much longer. Despite everything, you were surprised by how quiet this section of Manhattan was at night. Some people milled about, either going to or coming from someplace else. The air was brisk enough to add a jolt of energy to your system, but it still wasn't so cold that you felt any rush to get home.

"So what's up with the callouses?" You suddenly asked. Dave seemed confused by the question, so you grabbed his hand and held it up to him, then turned his hands over to show his reddened knuckles.

"Oh. I-I'm a...boxer. I box." He stammered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Only my dad and Todd don't know. So don't, like, bring it up around them. They'd freak out."

You hummed, "Okay."

He let out a sigh of relief. A sharp gust of wind from a passing wind tunnel chilled you to the bone, and you looped your arm through his.

"Oh!" You said, surprised.

"Are you cold?" He leaned in closer to you, "We can walk faster if you want."

"I just..my hands are a bit cold." That didn't explain the way you were wrapped around his arm like a boa constrictor. But he didn't seem to mind. He shifted his hand in his sweater pocket.

"There's some room."

You felt your stomach flutter when his hand brushed against yours in his sweater pocket. The flutter turned into a rapid thud when his fingers laced through yours. Despite how ice cold your hands were, he didn't pull away.

"Is that okay?" He asked, shyly, fully prepared to move his hand if you objected. You gave his fingers a small squeeze.

"It's great, actually."

You carried on the casual conversation for another few blocks before stopping at a newly renovated brownstone. He realized then that your family definitely had more money than his.

"Here we are."

You slipped your hand out of his grasp when you realized you still had it in his pocket.

"So...I'll see you monday?" He asked, fidgeting with a loose piece of string on his sleeve.

"Of course."

"Awesome."

"Yeah."

You looked him over one last time before you parted ways. He was your first real friend since you moved, but you still felt like there was so much about him that you didn't know. Not because he was particularly secretive, but because you felt like there was more to him than he let on. You unconsciously reached up and moved a curl away from his eyes. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, in response.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing," you said, "I just think you're really cool, Dave Lizewski."

His smile bloomed into a wide grin, exposing the deep dimples in his cheeks. "You're cool, too. Probably the coolest person I know, actually."

Your heart was thudding in your ears when you leaned up to press a gentle, lingering kiss to his cheek. Before you pulled away, you heard him gasp softly in surprise.

You suddenly felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and checked to see that it was your mom asking where you were.

You usually let your mom know ahead of time when you were on your way home, but you felt uncharacteristically out of sorts. You shot her a quick text letting her know you were outside.

"I hate to do this," you said, finally breaking him out of his stupor, "I really have to go now. Mom's asking questions. Text me when you get home, okay, Curly?"

You gently touched his arm and climbed the steps of your house to the front door. He gave you a weak thumbs up, but he still stared at you with a shocked, flushed face. "G-gotcha."

"And don't forget."

"I won't. I promise."

When you finally shut the door behind you, you peeked out of the small eyehole to watch as he touched his face in surprise and walked down the street in the wrong direction.

#jaelle writes #aaron taylor johnson x black!reader #dave lizewski #dave lizewski x reader #atj x reader #aaron taylor johnson x reader

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clownprincehoeshi · 6 months ago

Text

Parallel Hearts - Chapter 9

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. Maybe you finally have your shot at love and happiness. Or not.

Pairing: fem reader x idol Jungkook fem reader x idol Mingyu fem reader x idol Hoshi

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Warnings: Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Harrassment-Stalking-Death mentions-Cheating

Word count: 5681

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Rebloging is important and much apreciated. Leave your comments, oppinions, ideas, whatever you like. My inbox in open. Kpop writers, let’s be moots?

If you didn’t know before what you were feeling for Soonyoung, now you kind of do. That hug told you a lot. You had feelings for him, and these stupid feelings started creeping up here and there, without you realising.

You don’t know when it started or why. Maybe because he had such a soft and kind personality? Maybe because he was cute and fluffy like a teddy bear? And every time he smiled at you it made your day better?

You managed to pick yourself up and got that salad done. You all sat around the table outside, food and drinks all out and ready. You thought to taste some wine. Afterall, you were in a village filled with winery.

Being not such a big fan of wine meant you were not used to drink it so just one glass turned you into a talking smiley human.

It’s fine, you were among friends. Hana and Jun knew you very well. Then there was Vernon that would never judge or laugh at you. Joshua was completely drunk by now and Soonyoung seemed tipsy too, cheeks all red.

Now, maybe Seungkwan was the type to crack up some jokes, but he was too busy having fun.

Seungkwan: Ok, I have a proporsi…proprosi…porpo…shit. Let me try again. Pro po sit ion. There! Tonight is a night for deep conversations. We are among friends and I don’t know about you, but I would love to hear some touching stories and ideal from each of you. And maybe someone even has questions.

Joshua: I love this, Kwanie.

Seungkwan: Since I came up with the idea, I’ll start. I want to know what was the hardest moment of your life and what did you do to make it better.

Hana: Wow, that’s some deep shit there. The hardest moment for me was when my grandmother died. She practically raised me and I will never forget her. And I think you never heal from something like that, but with time, things get a little better and you cry less.

You try to show her some support by rubbing her back. You know the feeling of loosing someone close like that. It happened when you were in your home country few years back. You still think about that friend every single day. So yeah, it’s something that will always hurt.

Seungkwan: Ok, my hardest moment it’s similar. Everyone knows about my best friend and what happened. So….yeah, that was…really hard. I still struggle with the pain sometimes, but I have really good friends around me and my family. I know I am loved and it makes me feel safe.

Joshua: Yaaaah, this conversation while drunk hits different. Me next!! I think for me it was when I moved from the States. I didn’t know the language, the people, the culture. I was just a church boy that found himself in a foreign place. What about you, Hosh?

Hoshi: Ummm, there have been a few times when I had a really hard time. I can say that it’s hard to put one in front of the other because the contexts were very different. But for me, there were two moments. First one was when we first got hate from the public and antis. We were just kids and we didn’t deserve that much hate. I mean why would people be so mean? There is room for everybody. To tell us that we will never succeed. It made my blood boil. But we showed them. Look where we are now, there is no higher than this.

Vernon: And the second one?

Some of the guys were already prepared for what he was going to say, they knew it will be about his ex.

Hoshi: I mean…you know. Do I have to say it?

Seungkwan: Some of us don’t know, so yes. Not me, though, I know EVERYTHING!

Hoshi: It was when my at the time girlfriend cheated on me with one of my favourite idols. Caught them in bed. Something like that traumatises you for life. Really. I still have nightmares about it and I’m afraid of starting a new relationship. I think I better stay single.

Jun: Hosh, we talked about this before. You can’t expect that every future partner will act like that. For example, did you ever cheat?

Hoshi: No.

Jun: Then, Y/N here that was cheated on by an ex should think all guys cheat and never get involved with a guy again?

Hoshi: Someone cheated on you?

Hana: Yeah, silly. Your friend Mingyu.

Hoshi: I am sure he didn’t.

Hana: How can you know?

Hoshi: He’s one of the most genuine guys I know and I trust him, he would not lie to us.

Y/N: It doesn’t matter now, and yes, I have been cheated on, but by a guy you don’t know. It’s all in the past.

Hoshi: I want to know.

Joshua: Tell us, Y/N, we won’t judge. It’s a safe space and it stays between us.

Y/N: Sooo, I was 21 and we were together since I was 18. He was my first love, we met in college. I thought he was such a kind person, until I started to pay attention to the things my friends were telling me. I was just so blinded by love that I couldn’t see the big red flags. Turned out in our last year together he started a new relationship with a girl who used to be his best friend’s girlfriend.

Vernon: Shiiiieeeet, that’s so fucked up.

Y/N: And the way I found out it made me sick. We used to live together and when I got back to our shared apartment from a weekend of taking care of my sister, because she got very sick. I found long black hairs everywhere. All over the bedroom floor, in the toilet, even inside of one of my fucking t shirts. He gave her my t shirt, guys! My favourite t shirt with the picture of my dog on it.

Hoshi: Where does this guy lives?

Jun: What’s his name?

Y/N: It obviously still hurts knowing I was so disrespected and humiliated. Of course it still plays with my head whenever I meet someone new. So you can understand why I just couldn’t believe Mingyu and get back together. Yeah, maybe he didn’t cheat, maybe it was a trap for us to brake up, but for me, having such low trust, it’s a deal braker. The moment the guy I’m with makes me cry and hurtlike that and feel unsecure about our relationship, it’s done.

Seungkwan: Oh, now things are starting to make sense. I think you two could share your experience, since it’s similar. I never knew how is to be cheated on.

He said, pointing to Hoshi while looking at you.

Y/N: Jun, tell us yours.

Jun: It’s like Shua hyung. Leaving home for a foreign country. Man, it was so hard to communicate with the guys. They were very good to me though and I really feel loved. So all hardship paid off in the end.

Everyone looking at Vernon, waiting.

Vernon: Oh. My turn. For me, it’s not a specific moment that happened and that’s that. It’s something that keeps on happening and I find myself having the hardest times when it does. It’s when I see members having a tough time, whether they are sick, or exhausted, or just sad and depressed. Their mood is affecting me a lot and it’s really hard to help when it happens. Because you never know what are the right words or the right actions, you know.

Everyone looking at Vernon with heart eyes and nodding, like he said something amazing. Which he did, Vernon is a pretty mature and knowledgeable guy. We love him, we admire him and we need to protect him, ok?

Y/N: Noni, I feel really bad about all those weird ass fan calls you are getting. I wish I would slap some sense into those fans, you don’t deserve that.

Seungkwan: Remember when Mingyu just hang up to a fan that told him to show her his abs? That’s what we should do every time someone is rude or out of line like that.

Y/N: Yeeesss!!!!! And you should hire me as your bodyguard and I’ll slap some bitches.

Joshua: Really? That’s how much you love us?

In your drunken state, you didn’t realise that the next second you looked right into Soonyoung’s eyes while replying “yes”to Joshua.

When he blushed red, you realised what you did and moved your eyes from him.

Shit shit shit!

Hana: Juniiii! Did you know that I had the biggest crush on you?

You were just having a sip from your glass and hearing her, you spit that all out. Luckily, in the air and on yourself, not on someone else. You rushed to the bathroom, took your shirt off and tried to wash it as quick as you could.

Stupid wine! I knew I shouldn’t drink it.

You think you did a pretty decent job with getting the stains out and now you have to get out of the downstairs bathroom to go up to your bedroom and find a new shirt to wear.

Hurrying out the bathroom door into the hallway, your drunk mind had no time to intercept the person in front of you and you crashed right into them.

The crash was so fast and silly and it threw both of you to the floor, whining.

Y/N: Ooooowww, my butt!!!

Hoshi: What about mine? Don’t you watch where you’re going?

Y/N: Me? What about you? Were you going to enter the bathroom while I was still inside?

Hoshi: I didn’t know you were in there.

Y/N: What if I was naked?

Hoshi: Why would you be naked?

Y/N: Taking a shower is supposed to happen naked.

Hoshi: Well you are half naked.

Y/N: Uh?

And you look down. You’re indeed half naked, only shorts and a bra on. You forgot all about the wet shirt you had in your hand that went flying somewhere on the floor.

Y/N: Like you’re not enjoying the view. Huh!

Hoshi: Am not!

Y/N: You are, look how you’re still starring.

Hoshi: Not my fault, I’m just a guy and you’re…

Y/N: I’m what?

He gets up faster than Flash and walks past you, right into the bathroom.

Y/N: I’m what? I’m what?

Hoshi: Shut uuuup!

He panicked because he was this close to tell you “you’re beautiful”

Because why would you tell a woman she’s beautiful, she doesn’t need to know. Keep your feelings to yourself, make her wait. Let her wonder. Wait a while, let her think, let her want you. Let her find another guy, get married. Maybe then it’s the right time to tell her. right?

You’re such an idiot! He tells himself. For almost blowing up his cover or for not telling you? He’s not sure. Just like he’s not sure what to do about what he feels towards you.

Now he’s sitting on the bathroom door, back leaned on the door, mouth open and eyes wide. He thinks he needs to stop drinking. How is he supposed to manage this week with you around? Why did he come here? He could have stayed back at the hotel with the other guys.

15 minutes later he gets out and walks outside. Nobody’s there. He hears music on the beach so he starts walking slowly, passing the trees and bushes in his way.

All of you were dancing in the sand, under the Moon. The sea was calm and the breeze nice. He felt happy, so in that moment he decided that what’s done is done and he will try to enjoy the next few days, even if it will become harder and harder for him.

He joined in into your little dancing circle.

Of course, you needed to tease him now.

Y/N: Now Kwon Soonyoung, we know we’re mere peasants compared to your dancing skills, please don’t make us feel bad.

Hoshi: Ha! I’m not a meanie like you, would never do that.

Y/N: Oh, I’m a meanie now?

In a fraction of a second you take his bottle of water he was holding in his hand and you run towards the water. He starts running after you.

Hoshi: Yaaaahh!! Give me that? I need to get sober!

Y/N: Why? You’re more easy drunk.

You stop few steps into the water and turn to him.

Hoshi: Easy? I’m not easy!

Y/N: Yeah you are. If DK was here you would be kissy kissy.

Hoshi: Well that’s because it’s our thing when we drink. My lips are not cheap, you know. I don’t just kiss anyone.

You start putting your lips, making kissing faces.

Y/N: Who will you kiss tonight? Seungkwan? I know you like to get him angry and he would hate that.

He starts pacing to your direction, his eyes mad and face serious. He grabs your chin with one hand and plants a kiss right on your lips. A small, quick kiss. Didn’t really feel like a peck, because it was wet, hard and longer than one.

With his other hand he grabs his bottle then he turns around and walks to the others.

Hoshi: Is this answering your question?

And he left you there. Pouty and upset. Shocked. He left you with your thought. There is nothing to say to that, he left you speechless for the first time. Well, it’s the first time that he knows of.

He stops somewhere a few meters in his way and turns to you, almost like waiting for an answer. He had no idea where this courage came from. He really kissed you.

Hoshi: Tiger got you tongue?

He crosses his arms before his chest and looks at you, still waiting. He thinks you’re so cute flustered like that.

Then you start moving and walk to him.

Y/N: Why did you do that?

Hoshi: What did I do?

Y/N: This is not a game, Soonyoung. After that conversation we just had one hour ago? You pull this? You can’t just kiss me then act like nothing happened.

Hoshi: I needed to shut you up somehow, you kept being mean to me.

Y/N: So what, now you’re going to kiss me anytime I tease you?

Hoshi: I don’t know.

Y/N: Do you like me, or something? Because it’s giving crush.

Hoshi: Pfff, as if. It was just a peck and I got the reaction I wanted. Look at you all flustered.

You shake your head and walk away. You hear his footsteps in the back, this time he’s quiet.

You don’t stop walking, telling goodnight to the group and heading to your room.

Seungkwan: Ya, Hoshi! What did you do?

Hoshi: Nothing, I was just messing with her a little.

You go straight into the shower, taking a cold one and all you can think about, all you can see and feel is that kiss. Stupid Soonyoung!!!

You get into bed and minutes later Hana comes and lays next to you, pulling one leg over yours.

Hana: Pooks, what happened?

Y/N: Stupid Soonyoung kissed me.

Hana: Wha..when? why?

Y/N: When we were in the water. I was teasing him about kissing the guys when he’s drunk so I guess he took it as a challenge? I don’t know.

Hana: Didn’t you hit his nut sack again?

Y/N: Nah, I was just speechless and I was standing there like a fool. Then I scolded him for doing that and left.

Hana: What did he say?

Y/N: He was acting like it was nothing. Really, I don’t get this guy.

Hana: You think he was trying to get back at you for that kiss in front of Mingyu and JK?

Y/N: You know…that didn’t even cross my mind. But you might be onto something. Still, after the conversation we had, he goes and kisses me?

Hana: Well, babe, you’re both single and adults. Nobody is cheating anybody. But I have the best idea ever.

Y/N: Oh no, here comes the worst idea ever.

Hana: No, I’m serious, it’s so good you will think I’m the smartest person. Here it goes. What if.

Y/N: Yeah?

Hana: What if? And bare with me here. What if you play his game, but better.

Y/N: What the hell does that mean?

Hana: I feel like he’s playing here, wanting to see your reactions. Beat him at his own game. Play it, do crazy shit to get a reaction out of him, flirt. Like, heavy flirting. You know what I mean.

Y/N: Hana, you know I kinda like him, right?

Hana: So what?

Y/N: Like, I don’t want to hurt my own feelings. You know, starting to like him more from all the flirting and he rejects me.

Hana: Pleaaaase, it will be so fun. I promise, boo! If you want, I can give you the ideas on what exactly to do. He won’t know what it hit him. Look at me! If he isn’t in love after I’m done with him, you can do whatever you want, I will be your personal servant for the whole year.

Y/N: I will do it only because I don’t lose at games. You’re on, Kwon Hoshi!

At least you could sleep now, knowing he’s been challenging you with that kiss and you’re going to get back at him.

Next morning the plan was in motion. Hana helped you pick the sexiest swim suit and you wore it for breakfast, with just a thin unbuttoned shirt over it. He hasn’t seen you like this ever.

And when he lays eyes on you while you’re coming down the stairs it all feels in slowmotion. Your long golden hair shining when you walked in front of the window right into the sunshine. A light breeze was blowing your shirt away, revealing your spectacular tanned body.

He thought you looked like a goddess. Walking slowly and sensual towards the kitchen, his eyes went to your thighs. Magnificent, he thought. He wanted to be squeezed by them. They looked so soft.

Eyes going up to your perfect waist that he wanted to grip and never let go, to your breasts that were barely covered by the swim suit bra. If he was never a boob guy, now he was. Your neck sensual and long. If only he could put his hand around it while thrusting into you.

And don’t even get him started with your lips. He loved them. So plump, soft and sweet. Now that he felt them he wanted more.

You reached the kitchen table where he was sitting and his mouth almost drooling, opened wide, made you chuckle.

Y/N: Soonyoung, are you feeling ok? Too much Sun for you here? What can I do to make you feel better?

You put your hand on his thigh and look at him with a cute pout.

He snaps out of it like your hand burned his leg.

Hoshi: Sorry, I just had too much to drink last night and I’m not feelings super.

Y/N: Did you eat yet? Want me to make you something?

Hoshi: I ate what Shua hyung made earlier.

Then you pat his head and leaned in a little to push your breasts together right in his face.

Y/N: Ok Soonyoungie, just tell me if you need anything.

All the guys were looking at each other lost, was clear you were teasing Hoshi and honestly, it was funny to them.

After you had something to eat, you saw the group outside around the pool and you signaled Hana that you’re going for another attack.

Hana: Girl! Already, a second attack? You trying to finish the poor boy?

Y/N: He started it, I’m going to finish it.

And like that you walked outside, slowly, moving your hips from side to side like a tease. You knew you will leave collateral damage in your path but it was war. You’re not weak.

Walking to stand in front of him on the other side of the pool, you drop your shirt and slowly sitting on the edge, dipping your feet in the water. At some point you lean forward to get some in your hands and splash it over your chest.

Droplets of cold water dropping down your sunbathed body, running down down to your belly and further into your bikinis.

Hoshi gulps loud, he fears the whole planet heard it. His throat feels dry like he just chewed a cactus and swallowed it.

He starts coughing agresively.

Noticing this and knowing it’s because of you, you raise the stakes. You look at Hana and nod and she immediately brings over some oil for tanning.

Since he drank some water to calm himself down, you took advantage and started to pour oil all over your barely covered body, massaging slowly and sensualy.

The worst thing for Hoshi was not that, but the way you locked your eyes with his while massaging yourself with the oil.

Jun knew already what was coming, Josh was quietly waiting, looking between you two, feeling the tension. Vernon was somewhere on a daybed sleeping. Again. Seungkwan was waiting for the drama like hot bread and Hana was trying not to die laughing.

You knew your acting skills were at a high level, in a funny way. But now you were trying to be more or the sexy side of acting.

So after you put oil all over your front side, you were pretending you couldn’t reach your back side so you grabed your little oil bottle and came to Hoshi.

Hoshi: Soonyoungie, help please?

Looking up at you with the bambiest eyes that ever bambied, he stopped breathing.

Hoshi: What?

You grabbed his hand to pull him up and he was just like a rag in your hold. He was just so weak and complient. He stood up and you handed him your oil.

He took without questioning any further; you turned your back to him.

He was like a lost puppy waiting for instructions.

Y/N: Come on, Soonie, the Sun will burn my skin. Are you scared?

Hoshi: Scared? Of what?

Y/N: I don’t know, you tell me.

As soon as he heard scared, his competitive side came to life and he started to rub the fuck out of that oil on your body. When he finished with your back, he went down on your butt, being not very gentle with it.

You got a soft moan out of your mouth, could not figure out if it just happened or it was planned. You’ll tell your friends later it was planned 100%.

When he heard your little moan, he rolled his eyes so hard he could feel them on the back of his head. He felt tormented and tortured.

He felt getting hard under his shorts. He had half a brain to keep his oversized t shirt on, hiding his shameful hardon. He felt like a perv.

Then he had to kneel behind you to rub your legs too. Just some 30 minutes ago he was thinking how would those thighs feel.

Well I’m dead already. Stop being such a pussy, you know she’s doing this on purpose. Keep your head up! No! Bad idea! Not right now, dummy, there’s that unbelievable ass up there. Keep your eyes to the ground and finish this quick. Mingyu, you idiot.

Hoshi: I need to wash the oil off my hands.

And he sprints to the bathroom upstairs where he can be sure nobody will bother him for the new minutes. The guy was beyond turned on. He hadn’t had sex in a few good months, they were on tour, he hasn’t even had a passing friend with benefits since he can’t even remember.

Then it was this..thing he felt for you. Was it just lust? Just a horny guy who needs it bad?

As soon as he entered his bathroom, he locked the door, threw his clothes off, got under the cold shower and took care of that impossibly hard cock he had in his hand.

Thinking about how that hand also just touched your ass, your legs. Oh, he felt like such a big perv again. But he admitted he was weak for you.

He wasn’t usually like this. He was always drawn to feelings then came the lust and sex. He always needed some sort of connection with his partners to feel the need for sex.

But this? Now? He couldn’t describe, it felt animalistic almost. His hand up and down his thick leaking cock started to become faster and faster. He really needed to cum and calm himself down.

He thought this was the best orgasm ever, even better than when he had sex. What is he doing with his life? That’s not right.

You splayed yourself over a towel next to the pool. Hana was next to you, whispering in your ear about Hoshi.

Hana: I could bet that he went to jerk himself off. I just know it.

Joshua: Y/N, that with Soonyoung was fucking hilarious. Please do it again, I love watching him flustered.

Soonyoung appeared after a short while. He needed a cold cold shower too. He gave you a look, shaking his head, almost like wanting to say “you’re not playing fair, but it’s on”

He maybe be weak sometimes but he’s a fighter. He never gives up.

That same day at night it was time for your third and final attack of the day.

You baked some cake with chocolate and brought it to everyone to taste. The chocolate easily melted on the fingers when you took the small piece of cake with your hand.

You didn’t bring any utensils, exactly for this reason. Damn, Hana is such a menace sometimes, she has such crazy good ideas.

You hoped everyone will take the cake with their hands and it is like you suspected. You offered one to Hoshi, with a cute innocent smile on your face. If only he knew.

As soon as you saw his fingers covered in chocolate, you made a worried face.

Y/N: Oh no, you’ve gotten a bit dirty. Let me help.

And when you took his thumb and put it in your mouth to suck all that chocolate off, his legs melted. He forgot his own name.

With a shocked face he asked: What are you doing?

Y/N: Helping you clean up.

Hoshi: Aish, this girl.

He started smirking and pretending to scold you.

Hoshi: I had no idea you wanted me this much.

Y/N: I don’t, though. And I am not trying to do anything.

He leans closer to your face, locks ayes with you and runs his thumb over your lower lip, then puts it in his mouth.

Hoshi: You left some chocolate here. You’re welcome!

So he’s hitting back. Good, I would feel bad for having a weak opponent. I might like him even more now.

It went out like this the whole week. You did something, he did something. Every time you both got flustered. Your friends were getting tired of it, seeing the obvious tension between you too. And it was more of a sexual tension.

You two looked at each other like you wanted nothing more than to spend the next 24 hours in bed.

The last night before you had to go back in Barcelona, you decided to have a serious talk to him, because you felt overwhelmed. You felt like your heart would explode.

You knew it, you were in love. You didn’t want to be, you wanted to erase every single little feeling.

You were all walking to your wooden cabin in the woods where you spend the last 3 days. It was a narrow street that took to your place. Planning to hold him back to talk, you grabbed his wrist and just gave him a look.

He understood what you wanted and he took your hand telling you to follow him. He took you to a little hill where there was a big swing where you two sat, under a big jacaranda tree.

You both sat there in silence for a while, just enjoying the moment, knowing it doesn’t come often.

Hoshi: What am I going to do with you, huh?

Y/N: What’s that supposed to mean? Am I insufferable? You hate me yet?

Hoshi: Is that what you were trying? To make me hate you?

Y/N: Of course not.

Hoshi: Be honest. What were you trying to do?

Y/N: Ummm, getting back at you for that kiss.

Hoshi: I see, I see. So if I gave you a real proper kiss, you would try to stab be whenever you see me?

You giggle and push your shoulder into his.

Y/N: Soonyoungie, come oon.

He starts acting cute, calling you Y/Nie and touching your nose with his finger.

You stare at each other one minute too much.

Hoshi: What are we doing?

Y/N: I don’t know. You just annoy me so much.

Hoshi: Am I?

You nod, smiling cutely.

Hoshi: I thought I was one of your favourite people.

Y/N: My God, Soonie, what made you think that?

Hoshi: Hmm, you calling me those cute nicknames, for example. We have been teasing each other for months. And I am pretty sure we have gotten close. You know, it’s like my friendship with Kwan. It’s a love-hate relationship.

Y/N: Friendship.

You repeat.

You look up at the night sky. He puts his hand over your hand that is placed on the bench of the swing. He smiles. You get up, not looking at him.

Y/N: We should head to the cabin, we’re leaving early in the morning.

He gets up too and grabs your wrists, standing so close.

Hoshi: You wanted to talk but you are not saying anything. Why do you keep running away when we’re having a serious conversation?

Y/N: Serious about what?

Hoshi: Our feelings. Don’t act like a little brat now, you know what I’m talking about and I think you owe me some answers.

Y/N: It’s not like you had some answers for me.

Hoshi: Did I hear any questions and I refused to answer?

Y/N: I… guess not.

Hoshi: So then stop being a brat and ask me. I’ll answer.

Y/N: Don’t treat me like I’m a baby, I’m just one year younger than you!

He pouts and cups your face with both his hands.

Hoshi: I like it when you get feisty and angry. Now you say something you like about me.

Y/N: I like…your silly jokes nobody laughs at, but you. I secretly find them so funny but I keep my laughter inside.

Hoshi: Wow, that’s mean. I like how you lose yourself in thoughts, it feels like you’re thinking about 1000 things all at once.

Y/N: I like how you’re actually really soft on the inside, even when you scream like a loonatic to make people think you’re dangerous.

Hoshi: Hey, I am dangerous!

Y/N: Not in the way you think you are.

Hoshi: Oh? Then In what way?

He gets even closer this time, his hands now falling from your face.

Y/N: You know, I can’t seem to figure out if you’re trying to kiss me or kill me, since you had your hands cupping my face for the last 5 minutes.

Hoshi: First your answer, then mine.

Y/N: You’re dangerous in the way you make girls fall for you for being too cute. Should be illegal.

Hoshi: Oh?

Y/N: Your answer?

But he doesn’t answer. His hands fall on your neck, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks lovingly. His nose touching yours, his plush lips hovering over yours. You can feel his warm body glued to yours. It’s like you can feel his heartbeat. Or is it yours?

You don’t want to close your eyes, you want to see him. Those eyes that tricked you into falling in love again. Why did it have to be him? Why not a complete stranger? A random guy you met at work, on tour, even a tourist, a friend of a friend.

You whisper over his lips: What are you doing?

Hoshi: I really really really want to kiss you right now.

He said it.

You won’t go for the kiss and it seems he’s delaying the moment. He might still be playing with you. He might not even like you like that.

So you pull away just when his lips slightly touched yours.

Y/N: I can’t.

He looked at you with sad eyes, trying to understand what he did wrong.

Hoshi: Did I mess it up?

Y/N: No, I just can’t and shouldn’t.

Hoshi: Will you tell me why? Apart from the reason I already know about the past and not trusting men anymore? I won’t be a jackass and say that I’m different. All I can tell you is that I like you. I can’t tell you what the future will bring, if we are good for each other or not. Shit, I am scared too. I’ve never felt like this and I have absolutely no idea how to manage everything I am feeling.

Y/N: Soonyoung. I am so scared about everything. I don’t want a failed relationship anymore. I just want to be THAT someone to somebody, you know, not someone who’s left aside just in case the grass is greener on the other side. I don’t wanna feel like a second choice. I want to be wanted, completely, loved.

Hoshi: I want to give all that to you if you’ll let me.

Y/N: I don’t think I can, I’m sorry. Please, just let me go to my room.

He lets go of you and watches you slowly get further and further away. He just stands there, eyes filling with tears ready to burn his cheeks. Should just give up? Is this the Universe telling me we would not work together? Why do I feel such a strong pull towards her then? Man, this sucks. Now what?

70 notes · View notes

upinthecloudss · 2 months ago

Note

NVM ignore my newgen suggestion, I just read your hsl hc and I'm in Nostalgia Mode TM. I'd love to read your more detailed insight about the friendships between Kim and Violette, Castiel and Iris, Nath and Lys (I feel like even if not bffs, they would have got along well??), and any other "pairing" that comes to your mind!

hehe you inspired me with the other suggestion so i'm writing both if that's ok :> i'm always on mcl nostalgia mode - so i'll prolly finish this one before the new gen one

also thank you for letting me yap about mcl even more bcus there is sm to say

MCL HSL RELATIONSHIPS

my personal ramblings + ideas

Kim and Violette

i never really knew if they were intended to have a something more than friends vibe going on but i choose to believe that maybe they did have feelings for each other but never realised it

have a super supportive relationship nevertheless - romantic or not

and one of the most wholesome in the class, i loved seeing it whenever it came up in-game

kim helps violette go out of her comfort zone and to speak up for herself, that's the most obvious one to us as players

but i feel that violette helped kim put down her 'walls'

kim is a pretty guarded person, we as the main character don't get to learn much about her personal life throughout the whole series even if she does consider us to be friends - we see that kim tries to regain contact when candy is back in town in UL

but idk she seems pretty uncomfortable with letting people into her life, and being vulnerable in general

i feel that violette is one of the only people outside of her family that she confides in

violette is very authentic to herself and doesn't judge, and that made kim feel more comfortable with opening up to her

besides they have history

very long friendship - they give me childhood friends vibes

i just realised this but kim definitely helped her through violette's grief of losing her mother years before mcl canon

even if kim felt lost in helping someone through their grief, she tried to always be there for violette, even if it meant sitting in silence under the tree in the school's courtyard while violette sketched and destroyed many drawings of her mother over and over and then wordlessly stood up to go home after a few hours

violette will forever be greatful for her friendship during that time

and at any time tbh

violette feels a bit lost without kim (e.g when she wanted to cancel on iris´party when kim had to cancel) but she got better at going out to the world by herself because she knew that kim wouldn't be forever with her

even though kim plans on being her friend as long as she can

they defo hang out by themselves outside of school a whole lot

by themselves, because of violette being less comfortable in larger groups and kim enjoying violette's company more than anyone elses

besties for life i don't make the rules

seem so different but they complement each other perfectly

also kim would murder for violette and the latter knows this

mcl new gen confirm that they're still friends (and maybe gfs) in ep 11 AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

maybe were each other's first kiss who knows

but that's just a theory

a game theory

i shipped them back in 2016 and still do im sorry

Castiel and Iris

they also give me childhood friends vibes but it is revealed that iris came into Sweet Amoris a few years before candy so maybe its a high school friends thing

we see that they're close regardless - even if in ep 9 they didn't go to the beach together i imagine that they started doing it a little after that to hang out

they were also a pretty unexpected friendship to any outsiders, but they make sense in a way

theyre literally sunshine x sunshine protector

iris is a pretty empathetic person, and i feel that she wouldn't be too taken aback by castiel's initial bad temper and cold attitude to strangers, but try to understand how to make him feel comfortable around her

she is such a sweetheart how can you hate her

castiel appreciates her because of that, she never pressured him to be the socially acceptable 'friendly' and just let him open up to her by his own terms

over time they grow to have an understanding with each other

hang out every now and then, aren't super besties but they enjoy making plans together

iris loves demon, and since she lives in a neighbourhood near the park she usually makes plans to go on walks with him and castiel

castiel babysat thomas a whole lot - even during his time with deborah

when they were leaving out the door thomas stopped castiel by pulling on his sleeve - he was 7 at most by that time

"castiel, don't bring that nasty lady again, please."

thomas knew something was up with her (what an empath)

he still babysits him but iris feels bad asking him to do it too often

castiel doesn't mind, he enjoys thomas' company, and helping iris out

even if he finds him perplexing

iris asks castiel to teach her some basics of guitar so she can bond with thomas

castiel thinks it's a very strange way to bond with someone but he does it anyway because she's his friend and she asked him nicely

on that topic castiel is unable to say no to iris this is canon

they have,,, an extensive history for sure

there was a time when they were starting to become closer to each other where they hung out a whole lot (after dark to an abandoned skate park kind of plans)

skater girl iris btw

anyway

i don't see them being romantically involved but they def kissed at some point when they were around each other a lot and came to the conclusion that they don't go well together in that way

castiel would pretend to be her boyfriend to get creepy guys off of her back if she asked to though

i feel that castiel drops this piece of information in the middle of some convo with lys years later as if it were some random fun fact with no substantial importance

because to them it isn't really

and lys doesn't react as vigorously as anyone else would've in his situation (candy and armin, for example, basically backflip when castiel mentions it during a round of truth or dare at iris´ house)

obviously he is shocked at first, but after thinking about it he realises that it makes sense that it happened

honestly anyone that knew them the years before candy came into school would get it

it was obvious that they were close-ish, relatively

given that castiel was civilised with her and lys more than anyone else, yea, she's a close friend

amber used to be very nasty towards her out of jealousy, calmed down over the years

iris was also quite supportive during his first breakup with deborah

while lys was a comforting presence whenever he needed some to be quiet near someone, iris offered comforting words when he felt that his world was falling apart

was kinda cold with nath for a while because of the situation, but nath doesn't resent her for it

castiel really appreciates her for that too

they don't hang out nearly as much anymore but they can still get on each other's wavelengths pretty easily

they have a pretty solid friendship, based on mutual understanding

and surprisingly, shared interests

iris is a scene kid in my mind, but she enjoys music similar to castiel's tastes

they had an MCR phase together (never really left)

also this is just a silly headcanon of mine but i like to think that they went emo together for a while

maybe lasted a few months but everyone remembers it very clearly as much as castiel wishes they didn't

iris finds it funny and reminds castiel a whole lot

she's the only one who can remind castiel of it without getting murdered (not even lys, the topic is off limits)

nath always wanted to make fun of castiel for it but that would mean making fun of iris too and that he couldn't do

also i love the fact that iris IN CANON said that if she were to choose anyone to help her hide a body it would be castiel

castiel acts shocked but honestly i think it's sweet to see that he allows her to say those things without him getting mad at her

because i feel that if someone else he doesn't get along with said it, he'd take it the wrong way

"so you think i'm a criminal or something"

he's such a little drama queen - it was impossible to raise his lovometer without guides most of the time istg,,,,

my condolences to castielettes or however tf u call yourselves lmao

they're just their authentic selves around each other, and feel comfortable doing so

i imagine that candy in castiel's route has some insecurities regarding this friendship, but they make it clear that they're nothing more than close friends

besides iris is more than happy to see castiel with a girl who will actually treat him right

she was deeply dissapointed with deborah's actions in ep 16

not just because she was a fake friend, but because of how she planned to use castiel

tried her best to make castiel come back to class during the time that he became kinda depressed after ep 16

worried about him like a mother lmao, got mad when he went awol

veredict? sister and brother from a different mother (and father)

used to hang out a lot, but not as much nowadays

life gets in the way

doesn't mean that they don't care for each other deeply

Nath and Lys

this friendship is such a big brain moment because yes - they prolly did get along well

another case of beemoov wasting potential urghhh

they at least have some respect for each other

nath appreciates when lys gets castiel off of his back - he realises when his best friend is going too far with him picking fights with nathaniel

lys appreciates nath's respect for other people's boundaries and trusts that nath wouldn't read his writing without his permission if he ever finds his lost notebook

curiosity is a very ugly defect after all

got so nostalgic saying that holy shit

lys also respects nath's position as head of student council, something that nath rarely sees from any student, and his respect for teachers is something that nath also appreciates

lys probably managed to get a copy of the basement's keys from nathaniel because

if it had been just castiel asking, nath would have absolutely NOT given a copy over to him

but since lys asked in an actual civilised way (unlike his bruteish excuse of a best friend - nath's words, not mine), nath asked for special permission for them to practice there after school

they appreciate and connect with each other more easily than with the other guys in the class because they have some essential personality traits in common

they can be in comfortable silences together

and maybe get book/novel/poetry recs from each other

nerds (lovingly)

not the closest, but they have a pleasant friendship (acquaintainceship?) - they're kind of between the line of being friends or just classmates who get along

they don't stay in touch after high school is what i mean, even if they don't necessarily hate each other

after nath gains his independence, and he allows himself to delve into music-related hobbies that his dad would have not approved of, he goes to lys for advice

lys is very patient in introducing him to music (even if he kind of already did for the concert some time prior)

even if nath turns out to be absolutely tone deaf, he appreciates lys' help

they do consider each other friends around the time where nath comes out of his shell (post ep 23 approximately)

however, they have a key thing that they will never agree on

castiel

nathaniel will never understand how lys can stand him - not to talk about being best friends

lys will never understand nath's inability to change his close minded attitude towards his friend, he knows that nath could choose to tell castiel about deborah's lies, but he does know of their history and how the damage that they caused after the incident cannot be solved as easily

so they both get that they will never be able to be on the same page with that topic

agree to disagree, in a way

apart from that, they get along just fine

they defo have potential - if it hadn't been for the rivalry with castiel, and nath's home life which made him focus on studies rather than friendships, i feel that they would've been able to develop a deeper bond

i do feel that nath kind of is jealous of lys in a way - deep down

they're both similar people, but come from completely different family environments

good students, model ones at that, calm introverts, lovers of literature, and similar ways of percieving the world

lys will never know what it is to be scared of his father, or the need to be perfect, or to have a sibling that he doesn't get along with

all that is nath is good at, he did it to appease his father

lys did it because he wanted to

and nath will never have that, and lys reminds him of that sometimes

so he avoids being around him too much maybe

i feel that they kind of reflect each other well

what would have been of fairly similar people in different home environments - even if ik damn well that beemoov prolly put any thought into that ever

but that's me reading WAY too much into it

okay that's too much realness for me for the night

#corazon de melon #mcl #mcl iris #mcl kim #mcl violette #mcl castiel #mcl lysander #mcl nathaniel #amour sucre #my candy love #mcl writing #mcl headcanon #cloud rambles

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