#it’s not naive to interpret a hopeful story as hopeful

[volitioncheck]

nvm this is still on my brain. kim does not like to watch harry suffer… to say that kim takes satisfaction in harry’s pain is a huge misconstruing of his character.

the “getting thrashed like a schoolboy” line comes from a board game, lol. it’s a tease, not a cruelty. there’s never any line that implies that Kim enjoys seeing Harry taking actual morale damage.

he can be amused if you fail a check, but the check is always relatively inconsequential, and again, Harry isn’t taking damage in these.

Failing to pry the trash bin open:

Failing to shatter Ruby’s lorry window:

(also in both of these examples he only responds smugly if you choose for Harry to stubbornly dig in his heels. if Harry gets huffy, Kim teases. If Harry backs down right away Kim won’t rub it in, which feels significant to me! it reminds me of that recent post goin around about Kim meeting your energy!)

and here’s some reactions to failed checks where he does take damage.

Failing the jump to get your cloak:

Failing to break down Plaisance’s door:

he’s not laughing if Harry’s taking damage because he’s not a dick lol.

aaaaand here’s some other instances of morale/health damage and kim’s reactions.

alternate dialogue for failing the harbor jump:

after the call with precinct 41:

seeing bullet holes in the wall:

most significant examples to argue this point for me come when harry has done something to jeopardize the RCM’s image. which kim goes on and on about the importance of maintaining— and yet even here, he still extends worry and assurance.

telling Billie about her husband and handling it badly:

hardie authority check failure cock carousel:

aaaaand the car. this line is one of the most mask-off kim moments we get in the game in my opinion, honestly.

tying this back to the schoolboy line— that line doesn’t show up if you have a negative reputation with Kim. if you have <1 rep, it gets replaced with him calling it “about four hours of our lives that we'll never get back,” lol.

it’s affectionate ribbing!! twisting it into anything else is bizarre 2 me lmao!

anyways. kim is a foil to every other cop we meet in the game specifically because he doesn’t view harry as a punching bag or a lost cause. gottlieb does nothing but sling jabs and glib jokes about harry’s health. torson+mclaine and the others laugh at harry’s panic attack over the radio. in response to harry’s suicide-by-car attempt(!!!!) jean yells about RCM budget. all kim’s lines in response to harry’s check failures and health-damage are consistent, explicit textual contrast against the callousness of the rest of the RCM. twisting kim’s character here requires a bad faith interpretation of the whole game.

[callmerainman]

Alastor with a pure hearted s/o

a/n I'm fully aware that Alastor is aroace. My scenarios are meant to be interpreted as a deep, unconditional love, not necessarily romantic. I'm not aroace but I'm all for educating myself, so please if something's off let me (gently) know. Hope you enjoy :)

TW! canon typical violence

being a twisted person is not a requirement to reincarnate in Hell. Sins depend on religion, culture, societal norms. You were more of a victim, in fact.

you never got used to being in Hell. Surviving not only the Extermination but also the inhabitants becomes harder and harder every year.

it's kill or be killed, but you just can't bring yourself to do any harm to anyone, even if it means risking your own life.

as soon as you hear about princess Charlie Morningstar's new hotel for souls who want a second chance, your bags are PACKED

it's not like you really need redemption, you are pure hearted already. it's more a matter of understanding the reasons why you ended in Hell and coming to terms with them. maybe then the gates of Heaven would open for you. it's also a safer place for you to be.

Charlie welcomes you excitedly; Angel Dust, Husk and Vaggie aren't that friendly at first since your personalities don't match, but they eventually grow fond of you

and then there's, well...the Radio Demon.

you never met an Overlord before, and Alastor was supposed to be gone for years. But his presence wasn't frightening. A big smile spread across his face, he welcomed you like a gentleman.

you heard stories about his lifestyle and even previous murderous acts as a human, but for some reason you just can't bring yourself to fear him.

at first you were kinda pathetic to him. so naive, out of touch with the evils of Hell. he didn't dislike you. just thought your life was so easy to throw away in a society like that and that you wouldn't last long.

it seems like you two don't have much to share. he just wanders in his den, while you spend time in your room. you greet each other and have small talks, but nothing more than that. that's until he hears jazz music play behind your door.

he mentions it during dinner, and you start talking about your interest in 30s jazz music, especially the one of the Roaring 20s. you come from a later era, but you're very much cultured about jazz and its forms and that's enough for Alastor to develop an interest in you.

he has so many jazz artists recommendations, and you share some of your favourite pieces with him through your gramophone.

without even noticing, Alastor starts spending hours in your room just listening to music. some time even practicing swing dancing. and talking about jazz culture all around the world, and entertainment in general. he has many fun facts about the history of radio too!

the others at the hotel notice your growing bond and low-key support it, in their own, weird way. Angel Dust is especially convinced that you two are hooking up, as Husk not-so-kindly explains that it's more likely for Alastor to ascend to Heaven than express interest in sex.

you would start to open yourself up a bit to the Radio Demon. he doesn't understand why, since it didn't ask or never showed much empathy. but he just can't bring himself to tell you to stop. he wants to listen.

you manage to make him talk about some glimpses of his own life and thoughts. you knew that he was the complete opposite of you. incline to Evil, an enjoyer of all things that made your stomach clench. but he's still the one person who spends hours with you just listening to both jazz and your fears.

one day, Alastor decided that in no way you are walking around the city without him. it's just too dangerous for you. he tries to teach you how to use weapons and demonic powers to defend yourself but he doesn't feel like you can make it into Hell by yourself.

you like strolling through the streets with him, arms intertwined, chatting and laughing even if demons around you are shitting their pants just by seeing the Overlord walking around.

but one day, Alastor can't find you.

you're not in your room, or in the Hotel hall. No one saw you that morning. He starts to feel something he never felt in his life: fear.

he darts out the Hotel, trying to find you. that's when he sees you just a few streets away.

a group of animal-like demons is encircling you. you are on your knees, arms over your head to protect yourself. A lion-demon is holding a knife over you and your arms are covered in cuts. you hold something close to your stomach.

that's when Alastor realized that he had feelings for you.

when he threw himself between you and the demons attacking you.

it's the first time you see Alastor without a smile. his teeth are gritted, face full of unprecedented violence and will to kill, breathing heavily in and out in a sort of animalistic way, but there's no trace of his characteristic smile you love.

his body starts to morph into his full demon form. his horns grow exponentially, his body too as it hovers menacingly on top of your aggressors as they start to feel a pure fear they never felt before.

in a matter of a second, they are gone. Alastor has always been a calculated, elegant killer, but this time he only felt a raw, ferocious instinct to kill.

as he's done, he turns around towards you. he doesn't want to, but he snaps.

"W̶̞̐H̷̻͒Y̷̰̅ ̶̠͛D̸͕́I̸͔̍D̴̿͜ ̷̯̇Y̶̭͌Ỏ̴̬U̵̖̍ ̷̛͎Ģ̷̕O̸̩͑ ̷̹̈́O̶̮͆U̸͍̇T̴̙͆ ̷̧̀W̴͓̅I̷̞͑T̸̗͒H̴̹͒O̴̺̓Ṷ̵̂T̵̺̚ ̵̢́M̴̜̅E̶̬̋?̸̻͋!̸̦͂"

you flinch, you never saw Alastor lose his composure. he was always so calm and collected. his voice was static, choppy.

the tears that were cornering your eyes start streaming down your face "I-I..."

"Ţ̶̈Ḧ̴͙́Ė̵̩Ỳ̷̳ ̷̳̒Ã̸̡L̷̛͚M̶͇̚O̸͈̔S̴̜̎T̸͚̊ ̷̤͝K̷͊͜I̵̺͝L̵͚̎L̴̤̆Ẽ̴͖D̶͍̈́ ̵̻͝Y̵̰̑O̸̜͘Ù̶͍!̵̻͝ ̸͓̾D̴̯͒O̶̅͜Ṉ̶̌'̷̹͒T̵͎͋ ̶̺́Y̴̹͂O̶͍̅U̴̘͌ ̵̘̾Û̷̪N̸̩̊D̵͎̋Ȅ̴͜R̵̮͂S̸̰̄T̸̝̅A̵͓͘N̷̩͂Ḏ̴̀?̵̗̍!̸̭̎"

suddenly, your bleeding arms fall from your head. you expose what you've been protecting all along.

a vinyl, a really old record from Alastor's favourite jazz artist. a rare find.

"I-I know but...tomorrow it's your death anniversary and I wanted to give this to you...as a surprise. I'm sorry"

Alastor's face immediately softens. Eyebrows raised, smile still not seen. He's just surprised and...moved.

He doesn't say anything, he just picks you up in his arms and takes you back to the Hotel where he bandages your arms.

Feeling guilty for putting yourself in danger, you ask Alastor to come to your room in order to apologize to him.

As he closes the door behind him, he says that there's no need to apologize.

"I'm...glad that you are still in your room. Listening to jazz, alive"

words didn't come easy, but he did feel the need to say it. you smile at him.

you propose to put his gift on the gramophone and so you do. music starts to flow between the small space you shared with the Radio Demon.

that's when you and Alastor start slow dancing. his arms around your waist, yours encircling his neck. his smile is back, but soft and...almost loving.

with his silent agreement, you reach for his cheek and graze it.

"Thank you for saving me, Alastor. Even if you are everything I distance myself from in this life...I'm glad you are the person that you are with me. In my next life, I'll make sure to be a sinner again if it means dancing with you like this"

Alastor now understands his feelings. It's something deeper than care. It's love. But not the same love you reserve to a friend and not even romantic. It's something deeper, more visceral.

He doesn't answer, just closes his eyes and leans in to press his forehead against yours.

you later fall asleep on your bed to the quiet sound of the gramophone playing, hands intertwined on Alastor's chest.

[datura-tea]

i read this whole thing! a few takeaways:

was developed for tv by the westworld show creators; the showrunners wrote for captain marvel, tomb raider, portlandia, the office, silicon valley, and baskets

one of the leads, lucy (ella purnell) from vault 33, is naive and "doe-eyed" and left the vault for a rescue mission

the other leads will be a brotherhood of steel squire (aaron moten) and a bounty hunter ghoul (walton goggins)

vault boy will be there - he even gets an origin story

it's set in los angeles

todd howard was an executive producer on the show

everything in the series is officially part of the lore. direct quote from the article: “We view what’s happening in the show as canon,” says Howard. “That’s what’s great, when someone else looks at your work and then translates it in some fashion.” He admits to being envious of some of the TV show’s interpretations and additions: “I sort of looked at it like, ‘Ah, why didn’t we do that?’”

most of the characters are "chasing an artifact that has the potential to radically change the power dynamic in this world"

the article's pretty cool and made me a little cautiously hopeful about the show... we'll see on april 2024 whether it'll be good though

[throneofsapphics]

like the stories part two

Rhys x f!Reader

Summary: Reuniting with Rhys isn't what you'd hoped for.

Warnings: drinking, angst, references to sa

A/N: thank you for all of the love on the first part!

part one

As soon as the door slammed shut, Rhys realized he’d made the mistake of his life. 

“How could you compare to a mate?” 

He hadn’t meant it in the way you thought. But .. how had he meant it? There were only so many ways to interpret what he said. Regardless, horrible words had left his lips and his intentions didn’t matter. 

The door flew open, slamming against the opposite wall as he winced. A dent would be left behind, without a doubt. 

“She waited,” Mor nearly roared, “fifty years. Never looked at another male, stared at your portrait every day.” 

“I didn’t ask her to,” he muttered. You should’ve moved on by now.

“Mother above,” Mor followed the two words with a string of expletives.

She snapped her fingers when he didn’t look up, his nostrils flared but he raised his head slowly. Mor was quick to anger, sure, but he didn’t think he’d seen her look this angry in years. 

You haven’t seen her in years. 

Rhys ran one hand through his hair, tucking the other in his pocket. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt her.” 

A line straight from one of your books.

“She told me what you said,” his cousin countered flatly. “You really didn’t think that would hurt?” 

“I didn’t think,” Rhys yelled back at her. Yelling. That wasn’t like him, this wasn’t like him. 

A mirror across the room caught his attention. Pale, the illyrian tan gone, barely a star in his eyes, he could still feel the scratches Amarantha would leave behind on his back. No scars - no he was careful enough not to let that happen, not to let her mark him, but they left invisible wounds. 

Would he be able to look at a female who wasn’t his m- … the thought made him recoil. Instead, you popped into his mind, a beautiful apparition, full of light, joy, and smiles. Sunshine pushing out the darkness.

“I know you’re suffering,” Mor said quietly. 

“Do you?” He snapped. 

She ignored him, “but we … it wasn’t easy here for any of us. We weren’t frolicking in paradise.” 

“I never said that,” 

“I know.” 

Mor rounded the table, and he let her wrap his arms around him, let his head droop. 

“What do I do?” 

It was a rhetorical question, but she answered him anyway. “You go after her.” 

Go after her. It would be easy enough to find you, but what if you wanted to be alone? Didn’t want his presence anymore? 

In his gut he knew it was wrong, that was a way for him to escape dealing with the situation. He’d face it, head on, just like he had the last five decades. 

For once, it was easy to shove the former human female from his mind. Like those books you always read, he began the hunt for you. 

-

It really was a pitiful state he found you in. Drunk and alone at the bar. He saw your spine stiffen as you detected his presence. No matter how well he hid you always knew when he was there. 

You didn’t look at him as he slid onto the stool next to you, a subtle shield of his kept prying ears away.

“Hello darling,” he gazed at the several empty glasses in front of you. Maybe the bartender was making a point to you. 

“I don’t want a mated male, and I don’t want your friendship. I can’t do it.”

Fragmented phrases, like you’d had time to think of what you would theoretically say but not time to put it into words.

It was naive of him to assume he’d be forgiven. In all of the trashy romance novels he’d read over your shoulder, the male protagonist was. He’d frequently thought the females were too quick to forgive.

“Then i’ll have to change your mind,” he purred.  

You scoffed, but he thought he detected a trace of amusement in there. That’s the first step. You didn’t know it, but he already had his in. 

“Rhysa-”

“Don’t,” he cut you off. “Please.” don’t say it like she did. 

“Rhys,” your voice softened and he loved and hated it. “You only feel guilty, this isn’t what you want.” 

“And you’re such an expert in what I want?” He kept his voice light. 

Your throat bobbed, “maybe in the past.” 

The past. 

The line was drawn, set to before and after. Before the mountain and after.  

“I��m not the same,” he said cautiously, “but neither are you.” 

“None of us are,” you tapped your fingers against the marble counter, a sign you were putting your thoughts into words. “Thank you for what you did, for us.” 

He blinked. He hadn’t expected that. No, he figured everyone - at least close to him - would be beyond furious. 

“Oh we’re still angry,” you read the words in his eyes, “you’ll still pay for it, i’m sure, but you kept us safe like no other could.” 

You patted his shoulder gently. “Enough ego stroking for you,” you sighed, glancing around the now emptying bar. “I’m going home.” He tried to help you up but you batted his hands away and stood. 

He watched you tilt sideways, a laugh bubbling from his lips before he caught you. “Careful, love.” 

“Not your love,” your words finally started to slur, endearingly, and negated the sting you’d probably intended. “You want to win me back?” You furrowed your brows, eyes not entirely focused. 

“I do,” he murmured. 

“Get me home first.” 

Rhys wrapped his arms around you, winnowing and stifling a chuckle at the yelp leaving you. 

[pulchrasilva]

My thoughts were so extensive they exceeded the tumblr tag limit oops imma screenshot and finish my argument in a reblog I guess??

I don't think any would make it as is the Myth, but yk. You pick who's Orpheus and who's Eurydice.

[howaheartbreaks]

Tried to write this on reddit but the post was too long and thought I’d throw my hand in the tumblr ring:

My interpretation on why Colin’s arc this season matters so much to me.

The benefit and the curse to this season is that to understand the full story arc of Colin and Penelope you have to watch all three seasons. I feel like they could have been more blatant in the text and given them more scenes in part 1 to completely flesh this out and remind the viewer what they’ve been through, but this is all in the text (past seasons) and subtext up until the carriage speech.

Season 1 Colin is romantic and naive. He becomes infatuated with Marina almost at first sight and still probably believes in fairy tale romances. Marina herself says that Colin is eager and does not guard his affections. Anthony has his duties as head of the family, Benedict has his bohemian pursuits, both of them are known flirts and rakes, frequenting brothels often and having had a world of experience. It’s implied that Colin is a virgin and when he proposes to Marina, Anthony scolds him for his naivety and suggests he should have been taken to brothels to be a man and “wet his wick” as if he were experienced, he wouldn’t be so hasty to marry someone he didn’t know. Colin doubles down in his commitment to Marina which then ends in tragedy when it’s revealed she’s pregnant. He understandably falls into depression as he had chosen a purpose (to be a loyal husband in love) and he had gotten screwed over due to his naivety. Colin also has a bit of hero complex, which we can see multiple times throughout season 1 such as when he dances with Pen after Cressida spills her drink. In his duty and loyalness, he confesses that he would have married Marina if she had told him the truth. Colin is very loyal and very protective of those he loves and he sees his value in how he can help and protect others, and having them need him. He makes the decision to do the thing he always wanted to do, travel, as Pen kept reminding him, as a way to become literally, more worldly.

Colin returns in season 2 and finds that people aren’t that interested in his travels nor did they particularly miss him while he was gone, the exception of which was of course Pen. He tries to speak to his family and gets shut down. He feels isolated once more and then also realises he still doesn’t have a sense of purpose, nor does anyone need him. It’s implied he is still sensitive because despite travelling, Colin is still not the man the ton expects him to be. He visits Marina in some naive hope, and she basically tells him to grow up and move on with his life. Penelope and he have a lovely conversation about purpose. He looks into various pursuits and then as we know he gets to be the hero again when he discovered Jack Featherington is swindling the ton and saves the Featheringtons. But Colin is still beheld to the expectations of the ton and when the men are finally paying atttention to him at the ball, he says he would never court Penelope in an attempt to fit in, even though we’ve all just clearly witnessed him go out of his way to save her.

Colin leaves again, and this time he vows to be a changed man. He sleeps around, “grows up”, learns how to be charming and finally when he returns is he warmly greeted by all the women and the men as the ton finally recognises him as a man. Anthony and Benedict clap him on the back, the ladies fawn over him, and men like Fife and Cho engage with him in a way we haven’t seen since he told them he wouldn’t court Penelope. He plays aloof with stories of his travels because he knows the mystery makes people more intrigued than when he told them everything (telling his family he doesn’t remember how many cities he’s been to, and then telling Pen it’s 17 because he knows the answer), and in some cases he is still not comfortable or willing to share personal details of his sexual exploits because he’s still a romantic at heart. Colin feels like he’s nailed it.

Except. He hasn’t. It’s only surface level. The cracks first emerge when he approaches Penelope at the debutante showing, going out of his way to find her (as he always does). She seems closed off and has not written to him all summer. Previously she was the ONLY one to engage him, and probably the only one he could be himself with. Yet that one connection has completely gone. This is pure speculation and unlikely to ever be confirmed, but without Pen’s correspondence it may have even been a catalyst for him to change himself/seduce women. You can tell he’s nervous approaching her, even with his new aesthetic, which he himself remarks are only clothes. She’s closed off and basically dismisses him, probably leaving him feeling a bit stupid. He sees her glow up at the ball (:o) and while he does not approach her but continues to watch her, he runs after her immediately when she runs out, in care for her wellbeing and also because he knows the conversation he is having with the lords is super shallow. She dismisses him again, and then tells him it was his grave error in trying to fit in that made him lose his one deep connection. And then he vows IMMEDIATELY to make amends, calling upon her the next day to make it right. It is his first real and honest conversation. He tells her charm can be taught (he’s faking it), that he seeks her out because she lifts his spirits (he never looks happy in a public setting unless he is with her) and that hers is the one person whose opinion matters the most.

So:

1. Colin was a naive romantic who felt like he had to conform to the approved of society

2. He is faking his true personality (shown in his heartfelt conversation with Pen, how despite everything he seeks her out and values her the most, that he lies about how many cities he’s been to just to seem cooler)

3. He is fighting against societal expectations

4. At this stage he’s still trying to have it all - the women, his family’s approval, the ton’s approval and Pen’s approval.

He goes home and is furious with Lady Whistledown because she has called out his obvious ruse, and he is upset that what he is trying to fake is so obvious.

Episode 2 rolls around and he doesn’t do much except follow her around and fawn after her. His new interests have started to fade immediately as soon as he starts speaking with Pen again. He tells her to be herself and act like they did when they were kids - which is hilarious, considering Colin has attempted to change everything about himself to NOT be himself and NOT act like an adult (the irony Colin is not aware of). It’s her compliments of his writing and his eyes that make him flustered. He entertains women and men at gatherings, but is always looking for her and physically not pleased when she speaks to other men. He laughs with her (honestly, first moment of pure childhood glee for him and he makes a pun which was reminiscent of earlier seasons Colin). He runs after her again and emotionally argues with Eloise, because damn the ton it’s Pen he cares about (my poor sweet boy). He’s so loyal and protective of her. He doesn’t even attempt to dance with anyone at these parties. Hes so distraught she could be suffering that he goes immediately to her, damn the rules of society, and agrees to kiss her and even tries to keep going before she leaves. Because he finally realises that his feelings for Pen are romantic, that it’s not just friendship that he seeks, but a true romantic relationship with his best friend.

He’s awkward and cute as he approaches her the next day, which is the complete opposite of how he’s been trying to act - she is making him act like his former self, his true self. She tells him they should keep their distance and he reluctantly puts on the armour again.

But, Colin actually lasts for like a day before he realises he will go crazy if he does not confess his feelings to Penelope and the entire facade that his has created has completely crumbled by this point - the obsessed boy is BACK. He stops talking to the women in the ton, expresses 0 interest in sex with the prostitutes, entertains a drink with the other lords before going off at them for how shallow and meaningless and fake they all are, and then commits several social faux pas pursuing Pen because he doesn’t care about anything except her anymore.

His confession in the carriage is the culmination of all of this. He’s tried to feel less (because he was too sensitive), he’s tried to grow up (and be a man), he’s tried to flirt and be a rake (because he was too green), and he’s tried to fight against expectations (Penelope not being desirable) but what is the point because all he wants and his entire happiness is centred around Penelope and if she rejected him or married Debling he would have nothing left.

Colin Bridgerton does not care anymore because he is #1 loyal obsessed protective boy and he will go through heaven and earth for Penelope and I love him so much for it.

[piracytheorist]

I feel like something that gets overlooked when analyzing Yuri's excessive feelings for his sister is that when it comes to the Forgers, he distrusts Loid but isn't jealous of him; the one he's jealous of is Anya.

Like, I see people interpret his feelings for Yor as creepy, weird and inappropriate when in reality it's just that they're mixed between seeing her as his naive big sister and seeing her as his primary caregiver. His main motive driving him forward and into the extremism of the State Security Service is making the country a safe space for her to live in, but at the same time he gets all elated when he gets to spend time with her. Hence why he's distrusting of Loid - because he doesn't know for sure if Loid is a safe person for Yor to be around - and jealous of Anya - because she gets to have all the fun with Yor that he once had as a kid.

As he says, when he was little he felt so powerless to do anything to help her that the moment he was able to be financially independent he jumped at the opportunity, probably hoping that if he became independent then Yor wouldn't need work herself bloody for his sake. So circumstances led him to getting further and further away from her - both in a physical sense as his job requires him to spend a lot of time away, and emotionally as he lies to her about what he's truly doing - and I think he hasn't realized how much that has impacted him emotionally. Spy x Family is a story all about human connection. It makes sense that someone who adores his big sister and feels indebted to her for sacrificing her teenage years (and in his view, her well-being) will be having issues upon becoming distanced from said sister. I don't think I need to say it's not a mature thing to be jealous of a first-grader.

Of course, I'm not condemning him. He definitely has a lot of space to grow, I just think it's interesting and very on-topic to show how Yuri has been impacted from the distance his job forced him to keep from Yor. But because he's a little less mature in that area, he blames Loid and Anya for keeping Yor away from him, when it's his own choices that put the distance between them.

Like, for all intents and purposes, he's distrusting of Loid because he doesn't know him very well and because Loid was very suddenly introduced to him as Yor's husband, not even just as a boyfriend. He is fine with Yor having a partner, as long as Yuri knows said partner is a decent enough person (decent according to his standards, at least). And with his circumstances, that's completely understandable - not fully excused, but way more human than people give him credit for.

(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[sciderman]

pokes you with a stick…what do you think of valpool

oh bless you - uh, not a lot. i don't think the comics gave me a lot to work with, on that front. i think when i was reading it i kept thinking "how long is this one gonna last before inevitable double cross / untimely death / off screen break-up" and turns out the latter happened. sorry val.

so my own cynicism meant i never got too attached to val. because i knew we weren't going to be seeing them for very long. nothing in a deadpool series endures. and i'm so frustrated that wong's deadpool run was a 10 issue thing. because it was over and done before i even started enjoying it.

for me it takes a long time to get attached to a deadpool - because every wade wilson is different. they have their own thing going on. wong's wade is softer. more childlike. very childlike. actually, almost irritatingly childlike. like thats his whole thing. he's s child.

that was off-putting for me. he didn't feel like the kind of deadpool i'm interested in reading. he felt like the softer, cuter fanon-interpretation of deadpool. which i guess goes over well with fans who love their baby girl. but i... eeh. i can't bear it. he's not a baby. and i'm not a baby either. stop feeding me baby food.

i think - in my head - when wade acts like a baby, there's an angle to it. i don't think he's sincere. he does it so enemies will undermine him, or to win favour with the audience - there's an angle. he's not sincerely that naive. he's smart. so - when i see him acting like that - sincerely - i can't feel like he's being sincere at all. he's smarter than that. he's doing it on purpose. so - so... i don't know, i never felt like we were getting a sincere wade, in this series. he never turns the baby act off. we don't get a peek behind the curtain. i think that's the thing with wade lately - i keep expecting an eventual peek behind the curtain so i can say "oh. there he is. there's the deadpool i know. he was doing it on purpose. he was acting shallow and cutesy just to sell books and the real deadpool was lurking behind there all the time," but it hasn't happened with any deadpool media at all, lately, save for the recent kelly dp/w wiiii book - (once again, thank you kelly, owe you my life, only man pulling his WEIGHT around here) - maybe my expectations are just too high for wade, in that i'm doomed to be disappointed by like, 90% of deadpool media.

i feel like maybe wong could've done something if they'd had more time with it. but for me, man, i didn't get anything out of it, or any kind of attachment to it. and i felt so disappointed. especially with it being a nonbinary author, and a nonbinary love interest for a character i've so long headcanoned as nonbinary. i just - i wanted more from it. i always write from a nonbinary angle - because i don't know how to write from any other perspective. it comes out in everything i write. so i was expecting something more like that. i was expecting it to come through - not in some overt way - but in small ways that i could read and appreciate. like the matrix. that's a trans story. there are no overtly trans characters in it but it's a trans story with lots of trans allegory to digest and the authors are trans. but - you know, not being trans, it's not immediately obvious. but it's there. food to eat. and chew. and digest.

i know marvel definitely wouldn't let wong get away with much - but, god almighty. i was hoping even for something subtle. some little crumbs of food that brought some new dimension to wade that i could sink my teeth into. or something interesting about val that i could get attached to, in spite of the relationship being rushed and quick and abrupt.

i'm not saying it had to be a nonbinary story but - like, man. it feels like, conceptually, i should get excited, and i should sing more praises to this series, but what it feels like more, to me, is a wasted opportunity, and val is another love interest that readers failed to get attached to, and another in a consistent line of deadpool's love interests that marvel rushes to forget and move on from. and... sighs. sighs.

i do want more from valentine. because i feel like they're such a wasted opportunity, and i don't want to throw away one of marvel's only non-binary characters. that's too much food to waste. i think - for me, at least, i think wade deserves healthy relationships. ones that aren't always necessarily romantic - and - well, him having someone to go on cute zoo dates and hang out and be unapologetically gender with - well, i'm all about that.

[bobbile-blog]

Not sure if anyone’s said this yet but now that we have Laterano events plural I’m fascinated by their (imo) very deliberate choice of protagonists, and there are almost a couple of layers of narrative going on there. I struggle a little figuring out how to get this into words but specifically I think they’re chosen to be people who can carry a narrative without contradicting the orthodox morals of the church. There’s a LOT of vaguely anti-authoritarian rambling below the cut so please kindly bear with me and my English major brain.

I can’t really start there though. One of the reasons this is so brain hurty is how deeply it’s woven into the storyline, so to start, I have to verbalize how Laterano and Arknights writing more generally is different from other, similar settings. Because like, I hear the words “morally negative church in a grimdark setting” and my brain immediately shuts off. Come on, that’s so far beyond low-hanging fruit, if you’ve seen any grimdark setting ever you know exactly what that looks like. And sure, it was fine the first two or three times you saw it, depending on your tolerance for that kinda thing, but it gets boring quick and even when it was new it was kinda uninteresting story-wise. “Religion is always fake because it inspires hope which means everyone who takes meaning from it is either a corrupt grifter or naive and misled” isn’t just edgy nonsense, it’s also basically useless as an actual critique. It tells you absolutely nothing except how to tune out a particular kind of story, and a story that tries to get you to hear less is doing its job wrong.

So, Arknights does something different. Instead of denying the premise of the church entirely, it actually takes it at its word. Laterano is, in almost every definition of the word, a paradise. It is basically unmatched in terms of actual quality of life, with its only competitors being the Durin cities and maybe Aegir, and is worlds apart from now much the rest of Terra sucks. More than that, though, the paradise is specifically tailored to the worldview of a religion with a strong central authority - when I say it takes it at its word, I mean the authoritarian bits too. Laterano is a city that lives in perfect order and peace because everyone follows the law perfectly and they all understand each other and never fight. Empathy is really important for this, as it allows for a believable amount of superhuman societal order. Laterano has very little crime, political drama, or quarrels in general. It’s the promises of a strict higher authority actually taken at face value: everyone follows the rules and that means they have effectively unfettered freedom, because they don’t want to break the rules and therefore they can do anything they want.

Laterano is specifically written to be a believable paradise in a setting that has none, so that when the story then turns around and criticizes that setting, it has significantly more weight. Even when the promises of paradise are taken at face value, there are still issues that cannot be addressed because the system is inherently flawed even in the imaginary scenario where it works. Even worse, the problems that poke holes in the imaginary perfect scenario are the same problems that they face in the real world, like “how do you deal with the interpretation of scriptures” and “hey there’s this racism thing I keep hearing about should we be worried about that or what”. Because of the way this imaginary perfect system works, we then look back on our real world in a new light and understand it a little better. It’s good critique.

Okay so how did we get here and what does this have to do with the protagonists? Well, this starts with Fiametta in Guide Ahead, because she’s a really weird protagonist. This is a cold take at this point but despite being the character on the front of the box, she has very little to actually do with the central conflict of the event. Most of the conflict is handled by Ezell first and Andoain second, and Fiametta mostly putters around putting holes in people until the finale where Andoain receives the answer he’s been looking for, he turns to explain it to the world, and he runs into the only person in the whole of Laterano who does not care about his motivations or his revelation. Her role, in other words, is to replace the climax of Andoain’s story with her own, and in doing so she makes it much harder to actually get a resolution and a meaning out of the story (this should not be taken as a criticism of her character, let me cook). Guide Ahead’s ending is hazy, with only small piecemeal resolutions to its conflicts, and for the longest time that was just the way the event was written and it stood on its own.

But now, Hortus de Escapismo is out and the monkey brain see patterns. Specifically, with the choice of protagonists. Because Executor is definitely different from Fiametta as a protagonist, but there’s one particularly important connection between the two, and that’s that as I mentioned in the beginning, they allow for stories don’t contradict orthodox morality. Fiametta we went over, as she’s uninterested in any of Andoain’s morality and just wants him dead. Executor, though, is purely focused on his mission and views the world through that lens. He only wants to achieve his objective, and while helping the needy is in line with the stated objectives of the church and he does do so when able, it’s secondary to his assigned task. He does change as he gets further into the story, and we’re not gonna ignore that, but we’ll be back to it later. What I mean is more that he is designed as a person who is able to lead a story that doesn’t contradict with the morals of Laterano. He sees the injustice and suffering around him, but that’s not his job, so he doesn’t need to solve it to have a complete story with a happy ending.

This is where it really gets complicated, so I apologize if I don’t explain this very well. I see this as us dealing with multiple layers of fiction: the events of the story, the perspective of the church, and our perspective as readers. Back to the first point - authoritarian institutions almost always use stories to sell people on their brand of order. Simple stories, simple enough that even calling them myths seems like overselling it a little, your “Saint George slays a dragon” kinda thing. This is the point of the second layer, the perspective of the church. I don’t really have an in-world justification for this layer - maybe you could make the argument that it has to do with Law’s perspective on things, but I don’t totally buy that - I think it’s more in a weird narrative transition space for people who don’t read very carefully. Regardless, Fiametta and Executor’s shared indifference to the questionable circumstances surrounding them is designed to let them tell a story to prop up the existing order. Their protagonist status and their missions are specifically constructed to allow them to ignore the suffering around them, and as such ignore the larger questions that might poke holes in the larger order. They’re both playing out the story of Saint George, where they go and find a bad guy and kill them and that’s all there is to it. The story is designed and told specifically for that “that’s all there is to it”.

But, as we said earlier, this is a good critique, and as such it intentionally undercuts this story with the third layer: what we actually see as readers. We are shown the suffering and the injustice, and then get to see our protagonists ignoring that to pursue their goals. This is what gives Guide Ahead’s ending its unique texture, which sets it apart from every other event with a vaguely unresolved ending. We have seen the actual issues with Laterano, and also watched our protagonist explicitly ignore them in favor of her own story. It’s unsatisfying in a way that only really makes sense to me if we as the readers have an understanding of intentional authorship. Whether it be Yvangelista XI or Law or The Actual Real Life Pope, there are issues here that we want to see a resolution to but people are choosing not to address them. Again, it’s good critique. Not only does it push the reader to unpack and understand the actual real-world technique, but it also helps blunt it. You have just seen a plot and protagonist ring uncharacteristically hollow. You then look around to see why that is, and you realize there are many things that should have been resolved that weren’t. The next time you see a story resolve with that same hollow-ness, you know where to look. Surprise! Harry Potter was propaganda the whole time. It’s okay, it was never good, you were just twelve.

I guess the last thing is where we go from here, because Executor’s story breaks this mold somewhat. In Hortus de Escapismo, he has to deal with a mission that isn’t actually bounded by his normal rules, and because of that he actually does have leeway to help the people around him. He starts as someone who is totally mission-focused, but by the end of the event he’s done a total 180 and is blocking Oren’s attack, which makes the mission harder but helps the non-mission-critical civilians of the monastery. He breaks from the rigid thinking of “kill the bad guy and that’s all there is do it”, and gives his attention to the people he isn’t supposed to see. I think this is an indication of the direction we’re going to be headed in the future with Laterano events. The events aren’t going to get better - they’re going to keep being just as morally murky and complicated as in the past - but the characters are going to get better at handling it, and when they do, they’re going to actually start to change things for the better.

Goddamn that was a lot of writing for 1 AM. I still have a. Lot of thoughts on this event with stuff like empathy and Lemuen and Federico being an autistic icon(my beloved) but I’m going to leave things there, I think, because if I write for any longer my phone is going to crash when I try to post this. Anyway if you actually made it to the end thanks for listening to me rambling and I hope that made sense. Cheers.

[moplopbool]

Pandora as requested!

I’ve always found it interesting that there are many different takes in understanding the story of Pandora and the jar. The most well-known one being naive curiosity leading to the eternal despair of humanity, but the remaining hope giving them reason to live on.

I personally like the interpretation of Pandora’s action and hope meaning the pursuit of knowledge letting humanity break out of the bliss of ignorance. Like in the Brave new world and the garden of Eden, not being aware of one’s own suffering can leave people simply content. But without knowing wrongness, there cannot be any real improvement in their lives.

I had so much fun drawing the amphora so thank you for requesting this drawing :)

[timelineman-of-titors-edge]

Pale Blue Dot

I'm beginning to question the sanity of the humans who travel the stars.

The year is 3512 of the new Celestial Calendar. I have been tasked with record-keeping for a human ship, naively named "Hope". It is a large freighter intended for the delivery of Critical supplies to dangerous areas. However, for the past 90 days, the Hope has been circling a remote region of space. Despite the lack of any real objects in the vicinity, the humans stay glued to their detection instruments, losing sleep and forgetting to eat.

I've asked the Captain what we're searching for, and his only response thus far has been "An old friend", but there is no record of any crews being sent by humans to this region, who could they be searching for?

After another week of nothing, coming down to strict rationing of supplies, one of the humans shouts "I've got something!"

Despite his lack of sleep, the captain jumps up from his seat with the joy of a child. After a few minutes of interpreting the readings to locate an incredibly small object, about 12 feet in length. It takes most of the day to carefully retrieve the object, an ancient machine that appears to be made for the collection of data from a time before humans travelled the stars.

"This is the friend we've been looking for." The captain says. I fail to understand this action. There was no life aboard the craft, and the machine itself holds nothing of particular note. When I express my confusion, the entire crew laughs.

"Come on, now. Surely you can understand the value of rewarding someone for a job well done?" The captain says with a laugh that shakes his now out-of-regulation beard.

"I certainly can, captain, but this machine is not a lifeform, it can't take a reward"

"Pssh, sure it can. We're taking this old boy home. To Earth."

The captain dismissed me with that remark. On the long trip to Earth, the other humans informed me that the machine is known as "Voyager 1", another incredibly hopeful name that humans of old dreamt up in their fascination with the stars. Thousands of years ago, it completed its mission in the depths of space, far beyond the reaches humans of the era could fathom. The story and importance of the machine to humans apparently "can't be understated"

"We made it" one of the crew said, pointing out the window toward one speck in space. "The Pale Blue Dot."

He was pointing at Earth, and I fail to understand the importance of seeing the planet from so far away.

[eunseoksimp]

"one sided yearning from reader who is a hopeless romantic."

Hi! Sorry but even if this idea doesn't win, could you make a little drabble please? It sounds sooo good and I want Shotaro to break my heart so bad! 😭

hey anon, sorry this took so long to get around to. i hope you enjoy it :)

Pairings: Best Friend!Shotaro x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: extremely delusional reader lol. a lot of this is based on my own personal experiences with growing up religious and going to an all girls school!

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:��ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

in the secluded confines of st. mary’s all-girls school, where every whisper was tinged with secrets and every corridor echoed with the soft steps of youthful innocence, you navigated your days with a heart weighed down by unspoken desires. raised in the sheltered embrace of strict, religious parents who imparted a cautious, almost fearful view of boys, you found yourself adrift in a sea of dreams you could never quite grasp.

for you, boys had always been a mystery veiled in anxiety. your upbringing instilled a deep-seated belief that interactions with males were to be treated with utmost caution, reserved exclusively for romantic contexts. every smile, every kind gesture from a boy was seen through the lens of potential love, an over idealization that left you yearning for connections you couldn't quite understand.

your days unfolded in a careful dance of longing and uncertainty. you immersed yourself in the solace of books, where knights rescued princesses and love transcended time and space. in your mind, these tales were not just stories but glimpses into a world where your own yearnings could find fulfilment. the hallways of st. mary’s echoed with your quiet footsteps, your gaze often drifting wistfully to the distant horizon beyond the school walls.

It was in the midst of this yearning that shotaro entered your life, like a sudden burst of colour in a monochrome painting, during your first year of college. you were finally free from the stern grasp of your parents, entering foreign territory, a place where boys and girls coexisted.

you vividly remember the first night you had met. the party pulsed with a rhythm unfamiliar to you, whose catholic school upbringing had shielded you from such revelry. nervously clutching your friend yunjin's arm, you navigated the sea of strangers with wide-eyed uncertainty. 

yunjin, ever the social butterfly, flitted from group to group, leaving you anchored to the periphery, where the safety of the walls seemed more inviting than the chaotic dance floor. then you saw him. 

he stood out with his easy smile and warm demeanour, a stark contrast to the unfamiliar faces that surrounded you. ‘this is my friend shotaro,’ yunjin introduces him with a mischievous grin on her face.

‘hi it’s nice to meet you. yunjin has been telling me all about you,’ he says, offering you his hand, his eyes holding a gentle curiosity in them, effortlessly bridging the gap of your discomfort. you’re easily blushing, feeling drawn to his demeanour.

feeling like a character from one of your cherished romance novels, your heart fluttered with a mixture of admiration and naive infatuation. shotaro's gestures—a simple offer of water, a reassuring touch on your arm—were interpreted through the lens of your sheltered perspective. to you, he embodied the chivalrous knights you had only read about, gallantly rescuing damsels in distress from their anxieties.

as the night unfolded, shotaro's kindness became a lifeline in the whirlwind of unfamiliarity. he guided you through the crowd with a gentle hand on your back, introducing you to his friends and ensuring you felt included. his attentiveness, though born of genuine goodwill, sparked a flicker of longing within you—a yearning you couldn't quite comprehend but clung to nonetheless.

in the dimly lit corners of the house, away from the pulsating energy of the party, you found yourself drawn to shotaro's presence. his laughter echoed like music in your ears, his words a soothing melody that calmed your acing thoughts. yet, amidst the laughter and camaraderie, shotaro remained oblivious to the silent symphony playing in your heart.

for you, the evening became a dance between reality and fantasy, where every gesture from him was magnified through the lens of your romantic ideals. each glance, each word exchanged, fueled the burgeoning crush that bloomed like a fragile flower in the garden of your guarded emotions. you reveled in the stolen moments of connection, weaving dreams of shared laughter and whispered confidences.

every interaction with shotaro, the kind-hearted soul who brightened your days with his genuine smile and easy charm, left your heart tangled in a web of emotions you struggled to unravel.

for you, he was a beacon of warmth amidst the cold uncertainty of adolescence. his presence, like a gentle breeze on a summer day, stirred feelings within you that you dared not voice aloud. you watched from afar as he effortlessly weaved in and out of conversations, his laughter a melody that echoed through the corridors of your mind long after classes ended. yet, despite the fluttering of your heart whenever he flashed you a smile or shared a secret with you under the sprawling oak tree, shotaro remained oblivious to the effect he had on you.

your friendship blossomed naturally, each shared moment a precious gem in the tapestry of your memories. you discussed books and music, dreams and aspirations, your voices blending harmoniously in the sanctuary of their secret conversations. you hung on his every word, treasuring the fleeting glimpses into his world while concealing the depth of your own feelings.

one spring afternoon, beneath the blossoming cherry trees that adorned the campus courtyard in hues of pink and white, you found yourself drawn into another one of your candid conversations. shotaro, with his animated gestures and genuine curiosity, shared stories of his weekend adventures and the new friendships he had forged. his passion for life and infectious laughter ignited a warmth in your heart, a warmth you struggled to contain.

as you sat side by side on the weathered bench beneath the blossoming trees, you marveled at the way shotaro's laughter seemed to chase away the lingering shadows of your doubts. you longed to tell him how much his friendship meant to you, how his presence had become a beacon of hope in your otherwise solitary world. yet, with every word he spoke, with every shared moment that passed between you, the chasm between friendship and unspoken desire widened.

shotaro's obliviousness was a double-edged sword, a blessing and a curse. you reveled in the comfort of your friendship, yet yearned for a depth of connection that remained just beyond your reach. each time he mentioned mina, the intriguing girl from his economics class with whom he shared late-night study sessions and inside jokes, your heart clenched with a mixture of happiness for him and an inexplicable pang of jealousy.

you listened attentively as shotaro recounted their adventures, his excitement palpable in every word. mina’s presence in his life seemed to effortlessly fill the spaces you had never dared to claim for yourself. you smiled and nodded, masking the turmoil within you as you struggled to reconcile the unspoken yearning in your heart with the reality of his obliviousness.

and so, beneath the blossoming cherry trees that whispered secrets to the wind, you silently surrendered to the bittersweet beauty of unrequited longing. you cherished your friendship, treasuring each precious moment you shared while burying your own desires deep within the recesses of your heart. as shotaro's laughter mingled with the soft rustle of cherry blossom petals in the breeze, you whispered a silent farewell to the dreams you had nurtured in secret, finding solace in the enduring warmth of your unspoken bond amidst the ever-changing tides of college life.

days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, as you and shotaro continued your dance of friendship amidst the ebb and flow of college life. you attended lectures together, studied in the library until the late hours, and occasionally ventured into the lively campus scene for coffee and conversation. each outing was a delicate balance between camaraderie and want for you and you found yourself increasingly captivated by his presence.

one brisk autumn evening, you found yourselves seated at your favorite corner table in the cozy campus café, surrounded by the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft hum of student chatter. shotaro was animatedly discussing a recent art exhibition he had attended, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm as he gestured emphatically.

‘...and the way the artist played with light and shadow, it was amazing,’ he exclaimed, his voice filled with genuine admiration.

you nodded enthusiastically, hanging on his every word as you sipped your latte. you admired the way his passion for art illuminated his features, casting a soft glow upon his face that made your heart skip a beat. in that moment, you realized how deeply you had come to cherish your moments together, how his presence had become an integral part of your college experience.

lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice the curious glances shotaro occasionally cast in your direction. he had always appreciated your keen intellect and thoughtful insights, but lately, he found himself drawn to something more elusive – the subtle shift in your demeanor, the way your eyes lit up when you discussed your shared interests.

as the evening wore on and the café began to empty out, he leaned closer, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. ‘hey,’ he began, his tone tentative yet filled with curiosity, ‘i’ve been meaning to ask you something.’

your heart, which was regularly beginning to race around him, quickened its pace, fluttering as if a bird had taken flight within you, wings beating rapidly against the cage of your ribcage. each beat seemed to echo louder in your ears, drowning out the ambient sounds around you.

your breath caught in your throat, a delicate butterfly trapped within the confines of your lungs. as you looked into his eyes, you saw a glimmer of something you dared to hope was longing, a flicker of warmth that fueled your fantasies. his words hung in the air, laden with possibility, and for a fleeting heartbeat, you believed he was about to confess what you had longed to hear.

‘have you ever considered taking a trip during winter break?’  he continued, his words carefully chosen. ‘there's this cabin up in the mountains that a few friends and i were thinking of renting out. it's supposed to have an amazing view of the snow-capped peaks.’

dejection washed over you like a wave crashing against the shore, leaving behind a bitter taste, yet despite the crushing weight of unmet hopes, you couldn’t deny the flutter in your chest, the echo of your racing heart still reverberating through your being. was shotaro inviting you?

‘a trip?’

‘yeah just a casual getaway,’ he explained, a hint of nervousness creeping into his smile. ‘i thought it could be a fun way to unwind after finals and spend some time together outside of campus."

your heart soared at the prospect of spending more time with shotaro, yet you couldn't shake the nagging doubt that lingered at the back of your mind. was this just another friendly gesture, or did shotaro harbor feelings that mirrored your own?

before you could gather your thoughts and respond, a familiar voice interrupted your conversation. mina, the spirited girl from his economics class, appeared beside your table with a bright smile.

‘hey, shotaro! sorry to interrupt, but we need to finalize our group project details before the library closes,’ she exclaimed, her eyes flickering briefly to yours before returning to shotaro.

he nodded understandingly, casting a fleeting glance at you. ‘of course, mina. i'll be right there,’ he replied, his gaze lingering on yours for a moment longer than necessary.

as mina and shotaro exchanged a few more words, you felt a pang of disappointment wash over you. you realised, with a sinking feeling in your chest, that shotaro's invitation to the cabin was likely nothing more than a friendly gesture after all. mina was a constant presence in his life, a reminder of the bond they shared beyond their conversations in the campus café.

with a forced smile, you mustered up the courage to appear unaffected, telling shotaro to go ahead first and that you would see him later, watching him hastily pack his things as he prepares to leave.

he turns back to you, his expression apologetic. ‘i'll let you know the details about the trip,’ he promised, his tone gentle yet tinged with regret.

you managed a small nod, your heart heavy with unspoken words and unanswered questions. you watch silently as they make their way out of the café, their laughter mingling with the soft strains of background music. alone once more, you buried your dismay beneath a mask of composure, thoughts swirling with the realization that your feelings for shotaro had been one-sided all along.

in the weeks that followed, you struggled to reconcile your unrequited longing with the reality of shotaro's burgeoning relationship with mina. you threw yourself into your studies and extracurricular activities, seeking solace in the familiar rhythms of college life while silently nursing the ache in your heart. 

you silently watch as shotaro's affections drift towards mina like a sailor drawn to the mesmerising pull of distant shores. it was a slow, agonising unravelling, each passing day etching deeper lines of longing and resignation into the fabric of your heart.

you lingered in the periphery of their shared social circles, a quiet observer amidst their blossoming connection. shotaro's laughter, once a melody that filled you with warmth, now seemed to dance effortlessly with mina's, intertwining in harmonies that echoed through the halls of their college. you couldn't help but notice the stolen glances exchanged between them, filled with a shared understanding that whispered secrets only lovers could decipher.

in the moments they were together, your presence faded into the background like a muted backdrop to their blooming romance. you watched as they laughed over inside jokes, shared stolen touches that spoke volumes of their growing intimacy, and found solace in each other's company as though they were two halves of a whole. it was a picture-perfect tableau that painted your own unrequited desires in stark contrast—a solitary figure standing on the sidelines, yearning for a love that could never be.

as winter break approached and shotaro's plans to ask mina out took shape, you found yourself retreating further into solitude. you spent long hours in the campus library, poring over textbooks and journal articles in a futile attempt to distract yourself from the gnawing emptiness that had settled in your chest. the ache persisted like an echo in an empty room- a constant reminder of the heartache you carried in silence. the cabin trip, once a glimmer of hope amidst your unspoken desires, now loomed on the horizon as a painful reminder of what could never be.

on the eve of winter break, as snowflakes danced lazily outside your apartment window, you were transported to the edge of the campus courtyard, beneath the same cherry blossoms where you had shared countless moments with shotaro, a time where things weren’t so bad. the air was crisp with the promise of snow, the silence broken only by the distant sound of laughter and music drifting from a nearby complex.

you thought about the trip you would be going on next week, the offer that months ago had filled you with joy and anticipation. but now, knowing that mina would be there too, the thought was like a shard of ice lodged in your chest.

the apartment felt emptier than ever, the silence pressing down on you like a heavy weight. you wrapped a blanket around yourself, seeking comfort, but it did little to warm the chill that had settled in your bones. your eyes drifted to the window, watching the snowflakes dance in the wind, each one unique yet fleeting—much like the moments you had shared with shotaro.

you opened your window, closing your eyes and allowing the cold winter breeze to brush against your cheeks. memories of shotaro flooded your mind – his infectious laughter, his gentle smile, and the warmth of his presence that had once brought comfort to your lonely heart.

tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision. you hugged your knees to your chest, rocking back and forth as the sobs finally broke free. it felt like your heart was shattering into a thousand pieces, each one a sharp reminder of your unfulfilled dreams. you had loved him with an intensity that frightened you, a love that consumed your every thought and left no room for anything else.

but love, you realised, was not enough. not when it was one-sided, unreciprocated. it was a cruel twist of fate, to love someone so deeply and yet know that they would never see you the same way. you had been naive, believing that kindness and affection could blossom into something more. 

as the night deepened,  you felt the weight of your heartache pulling you down, like an anchor dragging you into the depths of despair. you wished you could escape, to run away from the pain, but there was no refuge from the storm within you. all you could do was endure, to let the tears fall and hope that, in time, they would cleanse the wounds left.

for tonight, though, you allowed yourself to grieve, wrestling with the ache of unrequited love, a love that had blossomed silently within you while remaining forever out of reach.

[tleeaves]

Folks going "WHAT they made a show about the Fallout franchise?? I've been hearing people say Bethesda messed it up, but I haven't watched it myself, so I'm going to trust the word of other people -- some of which also haven't finished watching it" is driving me insane.

Being a hard core fan of something obviously brings with it a lot of passionate feelings when adaptations come into play. Of course, there's going to be people going "but in 8 episodes of the first ever season they made, they didn't explore Theme C or D, didn't introduce factions E and F and G, and because the source company is notorious for its scams, we and everyone else who's a TRUE fan should hate it".

The Amazon Original series Fallout follows the videogame franchise of the same name. It is a labour of love and you can tell by the attention to detail, the writing, the sets, and YES THE THEMES ARGUE WITH THE WALL. It's clearly fan service. I mean, the very characterisation of Lucy is a deadringer for someone playing a Fallout game for the first time. She embodies the innocent player whose expectations drastically change in a game that breaks your heart over and over again. Of course, she's also the vessel through which we explore a lot of themes, but I'll get to that.

There're some folks arguing that the show retcons the games, and I gotta say... for a website practically built on fandom culture, why are we so violently against the idea of someone basing an adaptation on a franchise that so easily lends itself to new and interesting interpretations? But to be frank, a lot of what AO's Fallout is not that new. We have: naive Vault dweller, sexy traumatised ghoul that people who aren't cowards will thirst over, and pathetic guy from a militaristic faction. We also have: total atomic annihilation, and literally in-world references to the games' lore and worldbuilding constantly (the way I was shaking my sister over seeing Grognark the Barbarian, Sugar Bombs, Cram, Stimpaks, and bags of RadAway was ridiculous). Oh, and the Red Rocket?? Best pal Dogmeat? I'm definitely outing myself as specifically a Fallout 4 player, but that's not the point you should be taking away from this.

The details, the references, and the new characters -- this show is practically SCREAMING "hey look, we did this for the fans, we hope you love it as much as we do". Who cares that the characters are new, they still hold the essence of ones we used to know! And they're still interesting, so goddamn bloody interesting. Their arcs mean so much to the story, and they're told in a genuinely intriguing way. This isn't just any videogame adaptation, this was gold. This sits near Netflix's Arcane: League of Legends level in videogame adaptation. Both series create new plots out of familiar worlds.

Of course, those who've done the work have already figured out AO's Fallout is not a retcon anyway. But even if it was, that shouldn't take away from the fact that this show is actually good. Not even just good, it's great.

Were some references a little shoe-horned in to the themes by the end of the show, such as with "War never changes"? Yes, I thought so. But I love how even with a new plot and characters, they're actually still exploring the same themes and staying true to the games. I've seen folks argue otherwise, but I truly disagree. The way capitalism poisons our world, represented primarily through The American Dream and the atomic age of the 45-50s that promoted the nuclear family dynamic -- it's there. If you think it's glorifying it by leaning so heavily into in the adaptation, I feel like you're not seeing it from the right angle. It's like saying Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck glorifies the American Dream, when both this book and the Fallout franchise are criticisms of it. If you think about it, the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout is a graveyard to the American Dream. This criticism comes from the plots that are built into every Fallout story that I know of. The Vaults are literally constructed to be their own horror story just by their mere existence, what they stand for, what happens in each of them. The whole entire show is about the preservation of the wrong things leading to fucked up worlds and people. The missions of the Vaults are time and again proven to be fruitless, unethical, plain wrong. Lucy is our brainwashed character who believed in the veritable cult she lived in before she found out the truth.

So then consider the Brotherhood of Steel. I really don't think it exists in the story to glorify the military. We see just how much the Brotherhood has brainwashed people like Max (also, anything ominously named something like "the Brotherhood" should raise eyebrows). Personally, I don't like Max, but I am intrigued by his characterisation. I thought the end of his arc was rushed the way he "came good" basically, but [SPOILERS] having him embraced as a knight in the Brotherhood at the end against his will -- finally getting something he always wanted -- and him grimly accepting it from all that we can tell? Him having that destiny forced upon him now that he's swaying? After he defected? If his storyline is meant to be a tragedy, it wouldn't surprise me, because Fallout is rife with tragedies anyway. And a tragedy would also be a criticism of the military. That's what Max's entire arc is. It goes from the microcosm focusing on the cycle of bullying between soldiers to the macro-environment where Max is being forced to continue a cycle of violence against humanity he doesn't want to anymore because a world driven to extremes forces him to choose it to survive (not to mention what a cult and no family would do to his psyche). Let's not forget what the Brotherhood's rules are: humankind is supreme. Mutants, ghouls, synths, and robots are abominations to be hated and destroyed. If you can't draw the parallels to the real world, you need to retake history and literature classes. The Brotherhood is also about preserving the wrong things, like the Vaults (like the Enclave, really). They just came about through different method. The Enclave is capitalism and twisted greed in a world where money barely exists anymore. The Brotherhood is, well, fascism plain and simple.

Are these the only factions in the Fallout franchise? Hell no. But if you're mad about that -- that they're the main ones explored, apart from the NCR -- I think you're missing the point. These themes, these reminders, are highly relevant in the current climate. In fact, I almost think they always will be relevant unless we undergo drastic change. On the surface-level, Fallout seems like the American ideal complete with guns blazing that guys in their basements jerk off to. Under that surface, is a mind-fuck story about almost the entire opposite: it's a deconstruction of American ideals that are held so closely by some, and the way that key notion of freedom gets twisted, and you're shooting a guy in-game because it's more merciful than what the world had in store for him.

I mean, the ghoul's a fucking cowboy from the wild west character he used to play in Hollywood glam and his wife was one of the people who helped blow up America in the name of capitalism and "peace". There are so many layers of this to explore, I'd need several days to try and keep track and go through it all.

The Amazon Prime show is a testament to the Fallout franchise. The message, the themes? They were not messed up or muddled or anything of the sort, in my opinion.

As for Todd Howard, that Bethesda guy, I'm sure there's perfectly valid reasons to hate him. I mean, I've hated people for a lot less valid reasons, and that's valid. We all got our feelings. But the show is about more than just him. My advice is to keep that in mind when you're judging it.

[fierrochase-falafel]

Making a case for Xie Lian's complex morality in TGCF

Finally getting over myself and getting this one out of the drafts...

Disclaimer: Any MXTX book has a very divided fandom on whether practically all the characters are "good" or not- Hua Cheng, Xie Lian, Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, Pei Ming, Luo Binghe. I feel the way MXTX writes is such that our own interpretation of the book can grow to be the very thing we love about it. So naturally I am going to start off by saying this is my interpretation of her work- you can disagree with me, sure, and I'd love to hear other people's thoughts, but I don't think it is something worth calling me wrong over. I'm not claiming to preach the 1 true reading or even claiming to be 'correct'- this is just my interpretation. This doesn't mean I don't find value in alternate interpretations, contradictory or otherwise. Please be nice to me!! :,)

Part I: Smart, but not smart

So anyways...there's this quote in book 3, when Xie Lian reveals Ling Wen as the creator of the Brocade Immortal, where this happens:

Ling Wen crossed her arms and shook her head. “Your Highness, someone like you…sometimes you’re smart, but sometimes you’re also not very smart; sometimes you’re soft-hearted, but sometimes you’re cold-hearted, too.”

And I've always loved this quote, it's arguably one of my favourites, because it emphasises what I think is the core of the story- to ascend is human, to fall is also human. What matters is appreciating that humanity, and nobody embodies this like Xie Lian. MXTX always pits together contradictions like this throughout the story: ascension with falling, soft-hearted with cold-hearted, laughing with crying. Humanity is a series of contradictions, and Xie Lian is the epitome of that. We see him saving a child with regal presence/grace and also drunkenly yelling swear words in a ditch; we see him calmly ascend to godhood at 17 and also almost violently kill a guy for insulting his street performance. Xie Lian is a man who can be kind, calm, endearing and spirited but also vengeful, bitter, jaded and broken. He has been naive and impulsive as well as strategic and controlled.

These differences often seem to happen at the same time in him, even. Xie Lian as a prince was still relatively calm and controlled, but it didn't stop him from being naive and desperate at various points too- sometimes at the same time. His decision in the Land of the Tender (T/W- to stab himself) was arguably a sign of him losing control of his senses yet remaining just on the cusp of controlling his actions. He is holding on to his no-sex cultivation by saying the Ethics Sutra and making the impulsive decision to turn his sword on himself voluntarily but also reacting sexually to the flower demons involuntarily. He is placed in situations where he is distinctly both in and out of control at the same time! Later when he's lying in a ditch (T/W- having stabbed himself AGAIN), there's a lens to it that he's waiting for someone to be kind to him, just once. He's optimistic in giving people a chance- hopeful and altruistic on some level while also being angry and bitter at nobody having helping him yet. In present day he's still impulsive at times but also level-headed, jaded and also optimistic. Hua Cheng fully recognises this in him, and his recognition of Xie Lian's utter humanity is what makes him the one person who truly understands Xie Lian.

"Your Highness, I understand your everything. Your courage, your despair; your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate; your intelligence, your foolishness."- Hua Cheng

Part II: Mass murder is...a big deal

Xie Lian is nowhere near perfect, like Feng Xin tends to see him, but neither is he just pretending to be altruistic to make people like him, as Mu Qing tends to believe. Both of them have these ideas in their heads of Xie Lian being amazing or awful, when really Xie Lian has the potential to be both, and that's what makes him, ultimately, just a human above all else. And Hua Cheng gets that about him, more than anyone else, which is important. Hua Cheng loves him and believes in him not because he is inherently, fundamentally good but because of who he is entirely. Part of that 'being' for Xie Lian is trying not to indulge his worst emotions, trying to be good as much as he can, but part of that 'being' includes parts of him that can't be perceived as 'good'. See, no matter how traumatised you are, and even though I'm not judging Xie Lian for his mental state, choking some man on the street almost to death is a no-go, okay.

Xie Lian's will to keep to his principles of what is right and wrong is one thing, but TGCF stretches these boundaries over and over as we watch Xie Lian's view evolve from being a child. I don't think Xie Lian is a 'good person' because he never strays from his values, because he does. Save the common people? The people of Yong'an he intended to mass massacre were the 'common people'. And yes he tried to save them before, and yes it took very little to make him not massacre the people of Yong'an, but the fact that this was something he started at all? He himself used Fangxin to collect the souls from the battlefield- no matter how much he subconsciously wanted to believe in the worth of humanity with his self-stabbing social experiment, he created the conditions necessary to commit mass murder and that in itself is a sign that a part of him meant to go through with it. This isn't just a byproduct of his rage, a response befitting of an uncaring society, no, this is a big deal, and I don't think we can still argue Xie Lian is / has always been a beacon of virtue. Xie Lian isn't just flawed in ways that are easy to forgive, it's not just that he's inherently 'good' with flaws such as impulsivity or naivety that do not really reflect on his moral character. He is also morally flawed, in a way all humans can be but may find it hard to recognise within themselves.

To be fair to the guy, most humans don't have their kingdoms destroyed, their bodily autonomy violated and all their loved ones gone from their lives. Particularly not the first one. For trauma of such epic proportions and disasters of such epic proportions, this intense of a response to commit mass murder isn't shocking. Given his exposure to all this power through his godhood and descent, the power to commit mass murder is less massive-seeming than needing the power to save his own people from it. Given the deaths of so many Xianle inhabitants, this is almost an eye-for-an-eye response: something which some people or cultures may see as morally righteous (the Locrians in Ancient Greece were huge on this, for instance) and some see as morally wrong. However, the way I see it that does not make potential mass murder easily ethically justifiable. MXTX doesn't shy away from giving us insight into Xie Lian's vulnerable and broken mental state and reasons for attempting this, but his actions are still consequential in a huge way. Had he committed the murder; had he not been pulled up by the farmer or had he not found it in him to stop, would we view him as morally good? Could we? What if he did murder the Yong'an citizens but then realised how awful that was then, and spent the rest of his life trying to be good? It feels a bit like a cop-out to say, "well, he didn't do it so that's that", because even the idea, the intention of him doing it and the fact it almost happened raises so many questions about how much blame would be attribute to him if the people of Yong'an really were killed. Even if Xie Lian hadn't done it himself: if he failed to stop Bai Wuxiang from killing them all, for instance. If he were stabbed over and over again but his body couldn't take it, if the rest of the people of Yong'an weren't willing to stab him, and Wu Ming didn't take the bullet then what? It's not like Bai Wuxiang had any reason to go out of his way to call the spirits of Yong'an to Fangxin, for to him the biggest matter was getting Xie Lian to do it and solidify the latter's allegiance to resentment and apathy (just like himself). That would have been done by Xie Lian's hand, and how much the consequences would lay on Xie Lian's head is really difficult to think about. Even if he'd have done his utmost to stop it, but it would've happened atleast partially because of him.

Part III: Morality measured

It's interesting to consider how we measure morality as individuals- somewhere in-between intentions and consequences we diverge, and this tension is what fuels MXTX's conflicts. This is why it's so hard to assign blame in TGCF. Shi Wudu's intentions with the fate-swap were not malicious at all but the consequences for He Xuan were utterly disastrous, and that's on Shi Wudu. Quan Yizhen's intentions were never to make Yin Yu feel bad, but his obliviousness and shining talent hurt Yin Yu anyways. Of course, Yin Yu was the one who kept silent until he couldn't take it anymore, and said the worst possible thing at the worst possible time even if all he wanted was to be nice to Quan Yizhen and not project his feelings onto him. Book 3 contains an increase in these dynamics where the intentions and consequences are SO vastly incongruent that it plays with what morality means, encouraging you to ask: "Who do you believe was in the right?" "Do you think anyone here is or isn't entitled to what they want?" "Is there any way to objectively assign blame here, or are some scenarios too complicated for there to be a direct conflict of right and wrong?" So when it comes to Xie Lian, all that he could have been and all that he is, book 4 naturally stretches the limits of his heart being in paradise.

In conversations I have had or opinions I've seen on this platform and others, people's opinions on how much Xie Lian caused aspects of his own downfall range from "he did absolutely nothing wrong ever" to "he was the epitome of hubris and ignorance", the latter usually accompanied by a favourable analysis towards another character such as Mu Qing. When getting into MDZS, I was reminded of this when seeing Wei Wuxian-Jiang Cheng discourse actually, people talking about Wei Wuxian as a model of goodness who never hurt anyone unless his hand was forced (as if the Wen Chao toruture scene didn't happen) or as an irresponsible and disloyal rascal (as if he wasn't protecting defenseless people including JC's rescuers in the Burial Mounds). This sort of range can be seen with many characters in TGCF: particularly with Xie Lian, Hua Cheng and Mu Qing but you also get many for Jun Wu, He Xuan, Shi Wudu and the like. Xie Lian, as the main character, is possibly the most complicated of them all. The series is in his perspective, he recognises and regrets both his glory days and his fall from grace- the former due to his naivety and the latter due to his resentment. Since then all of the plots he has involved himself in have involved him taking on as much of the pain as physically possible for himself because his desire to help other people flourished again alongside and mingled with his shame and lasting trauma. He is ashamed of both his highest and lowest moments for not being able to offset the consequences, but while you're reading the story it feels very often like there's nothing else he could have done. Partially because (although this is debatable imo) this is somewhat from his perspective despite the 3rd person narrative, so we know what he's like before anyone else. Plus, with how book 2 plays out like a classic tragedy where his greatest strength (will to help his people despite tradition) becomes his greatest weakness, it's the age-old question of how much he can be held accountable for his kingdom's downfall or how much was completely out of his control or in the hands of fate.

One take I remember very strongly that was quite popular was about MXTX's characters being ultimately morally good characters, in which Xie Lian's character was said to not change or develop. Rather, Xie Lian has always been inherently morally good and TGCF is about the world around him not rewarding that goodness yet Xie Lian remaining good and pure-hearted all the way through no matter what, even in his darkest times. While this may be an interpretation some people have, I think it's more complicated than that. Xie Lian's morality was seemingly very clear-cut in book 2 because he had no huge reason not to be 'good'. Yeah sure, he was chastised for saving a child during the lantern festival parade, but nothing was genuinely going to happen to him. He was the crown prince! The stakes for him were never as high, and he had no reason to believe he could fail at all. When put to the test, given the fact he did set up the conditions for the immediate slaughter of Yong'an, I don't think any goodness automatically present in his character was being channelled in his decision. Morality can be as easy as "I want to always do what's right" when you have money and security, but becomes more difficult when you're consumed by grief and rage, or when you've lost everything you once had. Morality is more than an inherent aspect to one's character, and how we perceive someone's moral nature depends on their intentions, their choices, the consequences of those choices and whether they accept responsibility and accountability for the other 3 things.

Part IV: Complexity is the key

Having said all this, I hope it's clear I am NOT saying Xie Lian is an immoral character. In fact, I WOULD argue that he is a 'good' person, that is, a person who embodies what goodness would look like despite all the complications involved. What I'm saying here is that he is a good person not because he always sticks to his standards/beliefs, or even that he always believes in his own standards, but because he chooses to try to believe. In humanity, in the power of his own actions, in the kindness of strangers after he was shown kindness once himself. And this is something earned and learned, not something he had in the beginning. In the beginning it came natural to him because he had the privilege of that as Crown prince. "If something goes wrong, I'll fix it, and everyone around me will always be looking out for my best interests even if I disagree with them. Murder is wrong, following the path to ascension is the ultimate good." etc. etc. When he has to face the world as someone with nothing, those are the experiences that mould his current day understanding of why people do the things they do even if they seem completely morally wrong. Why people would stab someone knowing they would feel the pain, why people would murder someone, why they might steal or rage or drink. And in most cases, it can be hard to judge someone as completely morally wrong for doing actions deemed morally wrong if you believe intention has any bearing on morality.

Xie Lian to me is not inherently good, but someone who chooses to try to be a good person, thus arguably being a good person. And I would defend him as such on that premise, not because his righteous morals have remained static and intact throughout the novels. It isn't that he didn't choose to be good as a child, but he didn't really have to TRY because he hadn't faced the sort of crisis that shook his foundations and forced him to grow, understanding and adapting to the complexity of living in the real world. Where you fail, where falling upon hard times can force you to resort to things you once thought beneath you. Where your actions have power over your circumstances, but your circumstances also hold power over you whether you like it or not. The root of Xie Lian's compelling character, for me, is in his growth from a man with a static morality to a man with moral complexity. A belief in one's principles that accounts for its limits and recognises its flaws in the face of circumstance, and adapts accordingly. It's not like Xie Lian wanted to betray and murder the Yong'an king who was so kind to him, and to actively do that seems pretty horrible until you remember he did it to save a whole group of people, Xianle descendants. Xie Lian still blames himself for this in book 1 even though in this act he saved numerous civilians, but Hua Cheng reminds him that he made that choice for a good reason, and has faith in Xie Lian's choices.

Speaking of the devil...Hua Cheng, even though he loves all of Xie Lian, does not love him blindly or without consideration of the worst parts of himself. He would follow Xie Lian into the abyss of his mental state but still try to help Xie Lian out of the sort of guilt, back from the point of no return. One interpretation of his refusal to let Xie Lian kill Lang Ying is that he wanted Xie Lian to not have Lang Ying's blood on his hands as well. If this would affect any future cultivation or make him feel any more guilty in the future. He also tried to gently tell Xie Lian that he still has believers to calm him down when he sees the white flower. However, to Hua Cheng, whatever Xie Lian would've chosen in the end would still be a decision taken by the same Xie Lian, and Hua Cheng would follow Xie Lian no matter whether he's engaged in the worst parts of himself or not. I think it's very easy for us to assign a specified amount of goodness to a character based on just 1 thing- be it just their intentions or just their choices or just the consequences of their actions. A few sample assumptions I've seen (that do not reflect wider society or anything, these are just opinions I've seen around online): To want to save people is good, therefore Xie Lian is good. Hua Cheng has no qualms about killing 33 gods for Xie Lian, so he must be amoral. But the nature of what is good is variable- under the light of different interpretations, Xie Lian is more morally grey and Hua Cheng is more morally inclined than those assumptions would give them credit for. My point essentially is that many characters, but Xie Lian in particular, are more complicated than we sometimes give them credit for. It's also why he's so easily put up against Jun Wu- someone who is the antagonist and committed several heinous crime, but also parallels what Xie Lian at his worst could have been. If Jun Wu really did repent on everyone he damaged at the end of the novels, you can't call him a good person just based on newfound intent and he can't be so easily forgiven, but to imply alternatively that after all he's done he will always be a bad man and that's that...doesn't sit right with me either. Of course, the question of Jun Wu seems even more complicated somehow, funnily enough.

I think when I first read TGCF years back, Xie Lian is the character who showed me not to judge multidimensional characters or people on a consistent metric of goodness but rather on numerous aspects of how they live that can change over time and leaves room for circumstantial flexibility. I also think that acknowledging complexity in how we view morality in each other can allow us to gain a better understanding of what it is to be a human. And in my view, what makes Xie Lian such a well-written character is that he's nothing if not a human.

[cardboardheartss]

Short PAC : What would BTS members think of you?

⚠️DISCLAIMER! TAROT CARDS ARE NOT 100% ACCURATE! TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! IF MY INTERPRETATIONS ARE INCORRECT FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!⚠️

remember to take a deep breath, and think about which pile you feel most connected to before you pick a pile to read!

(Please don’t forget to like, reblog and follow! It will be much appreciated!📦)

Pile 1 : GMA Performance

Pile 2 : HHYLT Era

Pile 1 : GMA Performance

Overall energy : Strength, KnoP & The Fool

The BTS members think you’re really cool! They LOVE your vibes overall! In their eyes you seem like a very strong, patient and hardworking! They also think you have a pretty tough demeanor too! You may have a tough demeanor, but they also think you’re a bit naive and really carefree too! You give off “YOLO” vibes to them!

RM : 2oP

RM thinks you’re a very busy but skillful person. He thinks you manage wayy too many responsibilities and struggle to just and rest at times. If he could give you any advice, he’d want you to slow down for a little bit and just rest to avoid overworking yourself.

Jin : 10oS

Jin views you as a person who’s sad? He thinks you’re quite melodramatic. You may have had experienced some sort of loss and he can tell that it has affected you a lot. He would want to encourage you to keep going!

SUGA : QoP

SUGA sees you as a family oriented person. Thinks you’re also down to earth, smart, warm-hearted, and you’re also devoted to your loved ones and people around you in general! Overall… it’s really positive thoughts!!!

J-Hope : Wheel of Fortune

You give off, “go with the flow” vibes to jhope! He sees you as a lucky person, who’s is literally protected by the universe! He thinks you’re also really kind, you’re like his twin lol! Once again! Positive vibes!

Jimin : The Hermit

Jimin thinks you’re spiritual. He views you to also be an introvert too, who is also detail oriented. Jimin could also think you’re probably a teacher, given off by your calm demeanor with many wise words to say.

V : The Tower

I believe for V, he may meet 2 different types of pile 2! One of them being a person who he thinks has a strong aura and you literally pave the way, and go against society’s norms. The other type of pile 2 he’ll meet, is the one who he thinks loves to stir up drama for no reason and sees you as a person who thrives in unnecessary drama as well!

Jungkook : The Chariot

Jungkook sees you as a focused person, whom wants to achieve their dreams! He believes you are a hardworking person too. But he may see you as an intense person, who doesn’t want to be played with, so he will avoid getting into any trouble with you!

Pile 2 : HHYLT era

Overall energy : 5oS, 8oP & AoC

The members think you’re very competitive whom likes to stand out , and will not be bothered if you lose friends/family to want to achieve their goals! They think you’re also a perfectionist who’s also very emotional because you wear your heart on your sleeve lol!

RM : 8oS

He may think you’re very stubborn. He thinks you don’t know your way around this thing called life, and you often times victimize yourself.

Jin : The Chariot rx

He thinks you’re not a force to be reckoned with, he might even be too scared to tell a simple joke! You seem really aggressive in his eye!

J-Hope : 2oP

He will see you as a very busy person. He may think you have many jobs or sources of income. For you to rest because it will be too much work for your own mental and physical health.

SUGA : 2oS rx

He views indecisive. In his eyes. He sees as a type of person who would sit for an hour, deciding what to eat for dinner that same night. Apart from you being indecisive he does believe that you’re able to understand other peoples opinions and see both sides of the story.

Jimin : The Empress rx

Jimin thinks you lack creativity. he thinks you worry too much, mainly about work. He also thinks he have body image issues, and that you have a strong connection with Mother Nature, if he could give you any tip and advice he would want you to love yourself specifically your body, because of a very naturally beautiful body, no matter what shape or size .

V : AoP rx

V would think you’re over spender, and he thinks you cannot plan your future properly. You seem to go with the flow, but that doesn’t help you in anyway whatsoever. if we could give you any tip, he would want you to stop planning properly and to stop over spending your money because you’ll never know if your salary will increase or decrease.

Jungkook : 7oP

Jungkook sees you as very hard-working. He thinks you’re good at making a long term career path/investment! He appreciates all the hardwork and can see you doing excellent things in the present and future!

Thank you for reading!📦

(21/01/2024)

[galaxy-fleur]

What did you think of Leon and Ada's new relationship in the remakes? Meta wise

I think it's an interesting and more nuanced take on their relationship! Which I definitely like. I see no point in judging OG RE2's love story between them, no matter how cliché and nonsensical it is. It's a product of its time, and it's charming in its own cheesy way. Teenage me cried over Ada's death in there, so I do have a soft spot for it.

But the Remakes offer a fresh interpretation of what happened between them, and I'm definitely interested to see where they will take their relationship in the future (that is if they do, because I wouldn't mind them just having separate story arcs from now on).

If we're talking actual analysis, I'll put down my thoughts. I don't know if you can call it a full-on analysis per se, as it's more just me writing out my personal interpretations on things. So keep that in mind please!

Long post under the cut. I'm talking almost 4k words and way too many shitty gifs (I have no time to make them all polished). I have way too much to say. I'll basically be going over their entire relationship throughout RE2R and RE4R so... yeah.

RE2R and RE4R are two games that offer a full story for Leon's character, and that's a very awesome thing that Capcom has done. I'd even say it's one of the best things they've done with RE recently. Making RE4R feel like a direct continuation to Leon's arc in RE2R makes total sense, and it makes many scenes in RE4R that much more satisfying to play through.

While RE2R does end on a somewhat positive note (much like every RE game has to), Leon's arc in it is very much negative. He loses more than he gains, he's unable to save anyone, and his good intentions end up being used against him. Claire ends her RE2R story by saving a little girl she has come to care for. Leon ends his RE2R story by losing the G-sample, 'losing' Ada without getting much, if any, closure from her, and not saving even a single person he has encountered. Claire and Sherry don't really count in Remake-verse (which I kinda don't like) because their storylines mostly happened separately from each other.

And that's not mentioning that he gets (assumedly, and I am very much hoping we'll finally see more concrete scenes of how it all happened in Remake-verse) pretty much kidnapped and forced into a life he never wanted right after. To say that Leon can't get a break in RE2R is like saying nothing at all. Poor guy gets put through the wringer on every level.

Now, onto his relationship with Ada, and how it ties into everything... It should be said that, while he obviously grows to care about her throughout their short time spent together, he remains suspicious of her. RE2R Leon is naive, but I often feel like people make him too naive. He's not an idiot. He tries over and over again to get answers from her, and he clearly feels apprehensive with her. And I mean... that makes sense. While she does save him multiple times, she keeps her distance from him.

I'd say he starts opening up to her on an emotional level after witnessing Robert having to kill off his own daughter. He directly confronts her, demanding for answers and voicing his drive to do what's right. In a way, that's him showing his vulnerability to her. And Ada uses it against him. After all, it's a perfect opportunity to play on his (rather naive) determination to be the hero to help her achieve her own goals. Ada is also the only figure of 'authority' he has at the moment. Even if her claim of being FBI seems kinda off, she's the only one he has.

And I'll go over Ada and how I interpret her later. For now, just keep in mind that her using Leon is more of a gray area than just some horrible, disgusting thing. I'm just going over the events from Leon's viewpoint here.

So, they team up. Ada starts softening up to him. They share light banter with each other: 'A: After you. L: Gee, thanks.' She expresses concern over his safety (the alligator scene). I'd say that's the point where he starts to care for her on a more personal level from before. As you would.

Him taking a bullet for her was instinctual. I'd say it's a more pivotal moment for Ada's character here rather than Leon's. In Leon's case it's moreso her taking care of him right after that matters. He directly mentions it to her later on (at least I'm pretty sure his 'you protected me' referred to that). I'd say him waking up to find himself tucked in with her coat and his wound taken care of was the moment his 'I care because it's another person who's in this with me' turned into 'I care because I feel genuine attachment to this person'.

Was it romantic? I'd say that's left for you to interpret how you wish. I like to think of it as him just caring for her as a person. Leon is someone who cares very deeply for others, and he's always striving to be the protector to those around him. I kind of think that someone caring for him when he's weak and vulnerable is something that is very meaningful to him. Now, Ada saves him multiple times at that point. But that's the first instance of her arguably going beyond what's needed. Sure, taking care of his wound was necessary, although she could have just let him be as he was for all we know. But tucking him in on top of that? Yeah, that's an obvious 'I care' gesture.

From then on, Leon is following Ada because he wants to trust her. And I do want to ring this home. He wants to trust her. Doesn't mean he does trust her. Because even though he shows genuine care for her, it's clear that he knows she's might not be telling him everything.

He wants her to trust him, so that she'll tell him what she is keeping from him. So that he can trust her.

The kiss scene is a perfect representation of exactly that, I'd say. Honestly, I'll just link this analysis right here, because I pretty much interpret it in almost the exact same way. But I'll go over it in my own words as well.

Leon's growing frustration is in full display here. He turns around from her, he paces, he tries to appeal to her. To just trust him enough to be honest with him. It's clear that he knows Ada might not be telling everything, but he chooses to believe her regardless.

Hence the exchange that follows this:

Ada: 'Hey Leon, trust me?'

Leon, walking up to her: 'Trust me?' (Reversing her question)

Ada: 'Honestly, if I didn't, you'd probably be dead.' (A genuine answer as far as we know, but it's not one Leon wanted to hear, so he shakes his head, mutters 'Right.' and walks off.)

And I do feel like Ada knows that Leon is suspicious of her here. Her reaction once he walks off comes off as kind of panicky to me. She knows she might be losing him, and she can't have that. So, she once again appeals to what she knows is his weak spot. His drive to help others and 'save' the city. It does work. Somewhat. But he's still swaying, so she does the first thing she thinks of. She kisses him.

She, quite literally, cuts off his line of thought so he stops thinking about it. Because him thinking is dangerous for what she's really doing here.

I think it would be very disingenuous to say that that was a kiss of love or affection. It is not presented as such, nor is it addressed that way in all. It was Ada's last attempt at stopping Leon from questioning her any further. How much of it was her focusing on her goals, and how much of it was her effort to 'protect' him from potentially figuring out the truth, is left to your interpretation. But whatever intentions she had, good or bad, it was a kiss of manipulation.

It does shut Leon up, as he's visibly stunned. He doesn't even say anything at that. He just stares at her, then at her hand on his knee. Now, here's the tricky part of it all. Do I think Leon felt romantic affection/attraction to her here? On some level, I'd say yes. But it's definitely no 'love at first kiss' or anything like that. He's confused, mostly. While he spent arguably little time with Ada, it was a time full of meaning. Surviving side by side and protecting one another is no small feat. And Ada did show her care for him.

I think, he chooses to trust her in that moment, because he, once again, wants to believe in her. Even if her kiss felt out of nowhere, and so much of what she says (or rather doesn't say) makes no sense. He chooses to trust her because he wants to think that she's a good person who cares for him.

And so, we come to the pivotal bridge scene once he learns the truth. I do like how he confronts her in a blatantly emotional manner rather than logical. It's not so much about her being a mercenary itself, as it is about her using him and lying to him. That's what he's actually confronting her about, whether he realizes it or not. That's exactly why he tells her to shoot him, fully resolute as he holds her gaze. He wouldn't do that if he was just trying to apprehend a criminal like a good cop would (as he tries to present it at first).

But, he never gets that closure or resolution he was aiming for. Ada lowers her pistol. He breaths out shakily, probably wanting to continue talking, to figure this out. But he doesn't get that.

I do think Ada telling him to take care of himself as her 'last words' is a very painful thing for him. Because it leaves him with no actual closure on what happened between them. Ada chose to not harm him, and her last words to him are ones of selflessness. But she also lied to him and used his vulnerabilities to achieve her goals. And it's not like Leon knows anything about her occupation, and just how much she's involved with it on an emotional level. Maybe she's someone forced to do this against her will. Or maybe she enjoys doing such dirty jobs for all he knows.

That's the thing. Leon doesn't know. And that must be both frustrating and painful. He's basically left questioning all of his interactions with her, how much of it was genuine, whether she was honest with him at all.

And, most importantly, his time with Ada basically proves to him that his drive to protect and save, his willingness to give people the benefit of the doubt - is a flaw, and a weakness. It directly ties into his arc in RE4R. (And his relationship with Krauser, in a way, but I won't go over it here.)

He throws away her bracelet on the train, and I think that kind of shows that he chooses to believe in the pessimistic way of interpreting their time together. He throws it away because he doesn't want to hold on to something that reminds him of her. And, simultaneously, of his mistakes.

Now, let's go through the same events from Ada's POV, shall we? It's a bit more challenging, since we don't get to be in her shoes, but it's still a fun exercise.

Ada's initial interactions with Leon are ones of annoyance. She basically scolds him like a kid for always getting in danger and acts like saving him is a chore. But chooses to help him out regardless. I think it speaks of her humanity despite her line of work. It's an interesting dichotomy that follows her every single appearance pretty much, though not much is done with it (thanks Capcom). But yeah, despite her visible annoyance with him, she saves him time and time again.

She doesn't visibly soften up to him up until that same Robert scene. She's pretty observant from what we can tell, and she probably already had a good idea of Leon's righteous nature, but it's the first instance of her actively playing into it instead of making small snide comments about it ('Trying to save the world?' 'Good luck with that.'). That doesn't mean she doesn't care, though. It's subtle, but the little sighs and changes in her facial expression do show that she's at least a little bit conflicted at the prospect of lying to him on such a huge level (though you can't see most of it with her sunglasses).

It's one thing to say a passing lie about you being an FBI agent, and it's completely another to play the long game by using someone like that. But she needs to accomplish this task, and it already proved to be more difficult than she expected. Remember, Racoon City was Ada's first time dealing with anything of this sort, too. She might be a mercenary, but it's not like she had to deal with zombies and B.O.W's before that. She's out of her depth, and she has someone pretty much offering themselves to her as her assistance.

So, she takes the risk.

While she does join in some passing banter with Leon after that, she still keeps her distance. She's dry and mostly unemotional in her mannerisms. Remember how I said that Leon taking the bullet for her was more pivotal to her in the story? Let's go over that.

It would be disingenuous to say that Ada is a complex character, unfortunately. Most of the complexity she does have, we pretty much have to add on to ourselves. Hell, I'm doing it right now with this entire section! Capcom is doing a way better job with her in the Remakes, but she's still pretty flat as a character. Maybe this'll (hopefully) change in future installments. But for now, we work with what we have.

Either way, we do know that Ada is someone who's self-sufficient and chooses to work alone. She keeps her distance from everyone, and she lives by 'everyone for themselves' ideology. Basically, a total opposite of Leon's 'protector' role. All that to say... someone taking a bullet for her is definitely not something she would expect. On some level, specifically because she would never do that herself. Especially for someone she basically just met. But Leon risks his life for her. Furthermore, telling her to go ahead instead of anything else.

I think that's the moment Ada starts caring for him on a personal level. Maybe she feels like she should repay him for this. Or that she owes him a debt. Regardless, she takes care of him and tucks him in, before proceeding further.

That care only grows once they reunite. Now she's the one injured, and he takes care of her, despite her protests: 'I can do it myself'. Ada is self-sufficient, but Leon offers her his companionship time and time again. We don't know whether that's something she lacks in her life or not. We don't know enough of her as a character to say that. But she's obviously someone who's not used to getting help from others. Again, on some level, because she doesn't do that herself.

Remember, while Ada did save Leon numerous times before, she always acted visibly frustrated by it, like it was a chore she was forced into, despite her choosing to help him herself. Leon, on the other hand, is quick to offer and insist on helping out, very much eager to do that for her. She already made the choice to use him, but now she learns that he's a genuinely good person with a kind heart, and not just some stupid naive rookie.

And so, the kiss scene, again. I already said that her kiss feels like a last-ditch effort to stop Leon from questioning her any further. And I do think she acted on impulse. Thus why she follows up with a hand on his knee and the: 'I'm counting on you'. And I, personally, think she kind of regretted doing that right after. Or maybe felt extra conflicted about the whole ordeal as a whole. The way she slouches and sighs heavily once Leon leaves is very reminiscent of that. It's kind of a mix of 'Fuck, I messed that up, didn't I?' and 'What the hell am I going to do after this?'

It also should be noted that Ada never meant to tell Leon the truth. It would be convenient for both of them. Leon would feel like he did something good, and she would complete her mission with no further issues. Both sides win. But... things go haywire. And she's confronted with the consequences of her initial choice to use him.

It'll be silly to say that Ada doesn't care for Leon. If she truly was this heartless mercenary some would like her to be, she would shoot him on the spot. Her pistol being empty doesn't really matter, either. Leon was basically offering himself up to her, again. Even without any bullets on her hands, she could have easily knocked him out or something.

But, she can't bring herself to hurt him. Because Leon really is a good person that doesn't deserve that. And she knows that, and she cares for him on a personal level on top of it all. We don't know what she was going to do, before Annette shot her. Maybe I'm actually talking out of ass here, and she really was planning on knocking Leon out cold. But, we'll never truly know.

And her last words for him are to take care of himself. Because, in a way, Ada, more than anyone, knows just how selfless Leon is. On some level, it's a wordless 'I'm sorry', if you wish to interpret it that way.

Boy, was that a lengthy mess! Their first introduction to each sure was tumultuous. But we still have RE4R to go through! Though it'll be more about Ada than Leon.

Nevertheless, let's talk about Leon's interactions with Ada. I think we all know he's noticeably harsher and colder to her. It's an interesting change, and it does show that he feels resentment towards her for what happened in Racoon City. We don't know how his initial conflicted feelings morphed into this resentment, but they did.

I don't think nearly enough people mention that he's genuinely being very damn rough with her in their little sparring session. While yeah, you could make an argument that he's holding back, he's not being careful either. Ada has to put in actual effort to fight him off, which she doesn't even succeed in because he takes her off-guard with his intensity.

And he also puts the sharp end of his dagger to her throat. Just to rub more salt into the wound.

I don't think this was him wanting to hurt her or threaten her, though. It was more of a show of strength. Ada approaches him by taunting him and teasing him, like she can do whatever she wants to him. But he's not that same naive rookie anymore. And he shows her exactly that.

A kind of: 'Don't think you can play the same trick on me twice, or you might get burned' message. A message that I think Ada does get.

As for him smirking at her, I don't think that's him being 'happy' to see her or anything. I think that's just him being amused that she still thinks she can play him like that. He grows all cold and distant with her right after.

Leon obviously has a grudge that he hasn't let go of. I actually like how he's almost needlessly petty with her in RE4R. Making snide remarks, calling her heartless and dismissing her on numerous occasions. It shows that he does care. If he didn't, he would cooperate with her with no further complaints on his part. He's purposefully being cold to her to show that yes, he is still upset about what happened, and he will use every opportunity to demonstrate exactly that. It's petty and kind of childish, in a way. But it makes sense for him, and it adds extra flavor to their relationship at this point in time.

Though, he does offer an opening to her in the boat.

'Have you changed, Ada? Or are you trying to use me again?'

It's a good parallel to his: 'Trust me?' In RE2R, and both phrases are used for a similar purpose.

He gives Ada an opening to trust him and be open with him. One that she doesn't take, again: 'What do you think?'

She gives him no answer. Just like she didn't in RE2R. I think, in a way, that kind of gives Leon an answer by itself. He trusts Ada and relies on her when push comes to shove, but he doesn't give her any more openings from then on. I'd say that's his 'I think we both know this is where we go our separate ways' moment.

With Ada, things are way more complicated, in a good way. Separate Ways gave us so much to work with, and that's amazing.

Throughout Separate Ways, we see Ada bouncing back-and-forth on what she wants to do. She's initially very cold and resolute in her job, helping Leon out more like a passing convenience than anything else. She does still help him, though. She's still dealing with the dichotomy of what she presents herself as, and what she actually acts as.

I really like her confrontation with Luis in particular. She's cutthroat and blunt. Almost chillingly so. And she only relents once Luis mentions her own infection. Him telling her of Leon's infection has little effect.

'And why does that matter to me?'

I think that's a question she's asking herself just as much as Luis here. Though, she's still in her cold, self-sufficient mercenary role here. To be honest, I find her relationship with Luis in particular much more interesting in RE4R, but since we're talking about her and Leon here, I'll just say that Luis is the catalyst to her change (so to speak, Ada doesn't really change as a character per se, I'll elaborate on that later). Not Leon.

She confronts Leon face-to-face, quickly being met with the truth that he is not as easy for her to push around now. And I do think she has zero bad intentions there. She was genuinely just playing around and teasing him. Only to figure out that that approach won't work at all. It's kinda cute, honestly. So, she gives him an opening of her own instead. She tells him to leave Ashley, to prioritize his own safety over hers. Because that's what she would have done in his place. Leon is quick to shut that down. Something that Ada probably expected, as she just huffs and gives a knowing 'Right.' to that.

That's the moment Ada knows Leon hasn't changed. Not really. He might be colder, more ruthless and dangerous, but he's still that same guy, wanting to protect others, no matter what. She knows she'll have no success in swaying him at that point. Hence why she tells him exactly that on the boat later.

The next pivotal scene, I'd say, is her watching Ashley wake up and learn of Luis' death. Ada mostly treats Ashley like a nuisance, something Leon has to protect. Because that's his job. But in that moment, she sees the genuine connection they share with each other. She sees that Leon cares. And not just because Ashley is an innocent person he has to save, but because it's Ashley.

Ada's arc throughout Separate Ways is not that connected to Leon, which is a good thing. Similarly to Leon concluding his story from RE2R by saving Ashley and proving to himself (first and foremost) that he can protect someone he cares about, and that his humanity is a strength, not a weakness, Ada learns to accept herself, too. She's visibly conflicted at the start of SW, but by the end of it, she knows what she has to do, and she made peace with that. Her hesitating before going against Wesker in the facility is one of the last moments of her hesitating with her intentions.

But, again, that scene is more about her and Luis. Luis is very important to Ada's character in SW, and I think that's neat.

While the scene itself is kinda awkward, her encountering Ashley during the final battle is another arguably important one. Her watching Leon and Ashley before that was about her witnessing Leon's care for her. Now she sees that Ashley fully reciprocates that care. They are on equal ground with each other.

And so, the final scene between them. I already said that Leon settled on his answer concerning Ada before that. But Ada makes one final opening to him. It's a selfish one. After all, what exactly would happen if Leon agreed to come with? Would they just leave Ashley to die and fly off into the sunset? On some level, I think Ada knows that what she's asking is unrealistic, especially for Leon. But I think it also speaks of her progression throughout Separate Ways. Ada learns to be more genuine with herself, even if it means being selfish or asking something that she knows will be rejected.

So, she shoots her shot one last time. Leon gives his answer. Ada is not surprised by it. But she is visibly upset by it. She knew it was coming, though.

So, they do exactly that. They go their separate ways. At least for now.