#it’s nearly 5am and I was going to sleep but was thinking about them so here have this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daydreamgoddess14 · 1 year ago

Text

Saturday Mornings

MASTERLIST

🤸‍♀️ Well , well, well, didn't take long to get me back on my bullshit, did it? 🤣 I bring you a Roy Kent smutty one shot. Enjoy the gorgeousness of this man 🥵

Roy doesn't have a thing for Phoebe's dance teacher. Until he does. 👀

For @littleesilvia 😘

Saturday Mornings

Saturday morning had always been for Phoebe. From the day she was born, Roy had dedicated every Saturday morning to her. In the first weeks of her birth, he'd let himself into his sister's house and picked up a squawking Phoebe from the moses basket and taken care of her from 6-10 am so his sister could get more sleep. In those early days, he'd spoken to her in his deep, gruff voice while she drifted in and out of sleep. Then they'd go for a walk to the shop, the neighbours peeping into the buggy until Roy had growled at them to "Fuck off and stop gawping at her, she's trying to fucking sleep." As she got a little older, it became cartoons and cereal - devoured together on the sofa, and then a trip to the park. He'd arranged everything for 9 years around his Saturday mornings with Phoebe. Even away matches with a midday kick off didn't stop him, it didn't matter if it was an hour, or five hours - match day or no match day, rain or shine, if he was single or not, Uncle Roy would be there. Their time alone together moved through her swimming lessons phase, gymnastics phase, and morphed into his coaching her kids team. He wanted to be on board with this next phase - really, he did.

After 8 weeks of lessons, he'd finally put his finger on what the problem was. The dancing was nothing new, Phoebe had tried ballet, tap, some weird toddler baby dance shit. 16 weeks ago, she'd switched to some kind of pop/tween dance class with a lovely older woman who mostly sat to one side and pointed to each move, each music transition. It had been great, 8.30-9.30am every Saturday, fucking wonderful. Then 8 weeks ago, that woman had switched classes and you had taken over. You, with your tight Tik Tok leggings and your cropped t-shirt. You who showed the kids each move over and over again. The number of dad's attending the class had suddenly gone up. It had been 6 months since he thought that he and Keeley could try again, but she'd made it clear that that was not the case. He'd been single for longer than 6 months before, sure, but not for a long time. Back then in his younger days, he'd thought nothing of a mutually convenient resolution with a friend until he met his next significant other. He’d come to the conclusion now that he was too fucking old for a friends with benefits situation.

If it was just Saturday mornings that were the problem, he could live with that. He started out by taking a book and ignoring the class completely, but Phoebe did not like that at all. So he switched to audiobooks, brought a pair of fucking ear buds so he could drown out the sound of your voice, your gentle encouragement and the giggles. If it wasn’t the leggings going to tip him over the edge, it was going to be the giggles. Or the praise. Weird, he didn’t realise he had a bit of a praise kink before. Then he heard you in a breathy voice saying something that definitely could apply to situations other than a 9 year olds dance class and nearly had to leave the room. No, it wasn’t just Saturday mornings anymore. You came to mind now at the most inconvenient times. Sitting on the bike while Jamie pulled him along at 5am when shouting at Jamie in the street would have been frowned upon and they instead trained quietly, whenever one of the kids dance routine songs came on the radio and he was forced to relive watching you teach them, at night in the dark when he was alone, in the shower… He absolutely had to stop thinking about you like this. Like you’d see it in his eyes when you waved good morning, or when he held his bank card over your little hand held machine to pay for the classes. He also couldn’t stand the very much married men who flirted so openly with you. Clearly telling their wives at home, no love, I’ll take little… Mabel to dance class, you stay here and have a lie in and a cup of tea.

It was funny how they’d migrated from the later morning class which was run by a woman who had the body shape of a fucking pencil. Beautiful, yeah she wasn’t bad. But she didn’t have the strong thighs you did, the sweeping curve of your hip into a cute little waist. He couldn’t go another week like this. Had to stop now, stop being so pervy. He was no better than the other blokes who came to watch their kids' class. Except he was slightly better, because he was actually single.

“Uncle Roy, we’re here, come on!” Phoebe was already half out of the car. He braced himself for another week of torture.

“Good morning guys! Come in, I’m just getting set up.” You called out from across the room. He was a bit too early really. Not intentionally, of course not. You were still in your hoodie, still setting up the portable speaker and drinking a Costa coffee. You put a song on in the background and he had to hold his breath while you pulled off the warm grey sweater. As it came off, it pulled the baggy cropped t-shirt up as well, exposing your sports bra underneath, the soft skin of your stomach. It was definitely soft whenever he thought about it anyway. You straightened yourself out and sat on the floor, stretching your legs out in front of you and reaching forward to your toes. Phoebe lept out of her seat, threw her coat at Roy and plonked herself down in front of you, mirroring your pose. “Joining me for a warm up Phoebs?”

“It’s important to warm up. My Uncle Roy is a football coach and he says it’s the most important part.”

“He’s not wrong.” You smiled, moving through some other poses and stretches. He was a dead man. This was it. The end, this was how it was going to go. You stretch your arms up as far as you can reach them, stretching out your back with a little pop. He tried to ignore the fucking Grecian vase shape your body made, truly. Until you’d made a noise a little too close to a moan for his liking, followed by, “Holy shit that feels good.”

Fucking hell. Fucking hell .

“Sorry Phebs, didn’t mean to swear.”

“It’s ok. I’ll let you off the first time, but you owe me a pound next time.”

“Aww thanks.” The class soon filled up, he wished he’d taken a seat way at the back, out of the way so he could either look at you without it being so noticeable, or ignore you completely. He totally respected your classes, he really did. It was a tricky thing, conducting an age appropriate class for 9 year olds which avoided sexualising dance moves but also made them feel like they were able to move their bodies how they wanted to. Of course, it’s not always the dance moves themselves which could be seen as sexual, more often it’s the person watching who makes that connotation. And he tried so, so hard not to do that. Tried desperately to not think about how your body would move underneath his, on top of his, the beautiful sounds he could draw from you. He needed to get out, feigned a phone call, holding up his phone as he got to the door so you knew he’d be right outside if Phoebe needed anything. He didn’t think you’d even seen him until you gave him a little thumbs up.

At the end of the class, you encourage the kids to just sit for a minute. You all usually end up sprawled on your backs, not having to make eye contact makes it easier for some of the kids to talk openly if they wanted help or an opinion on something. It was somewhat of an eye opener for the parents as well. This week, you had the kids sit up so they could see you,

“I thought I might take you on a little trip, if you guys fancy it? I was going to go and see the new Barbie film after class next week. If any of you want to come with me, with your grown up - of course - then we could have a really exciting morning! I’m not allowed to take any of you without another grown up though, ok? So you’ll have to check with them first.” You handed each of them a little pink party invite. He already knew before Phoebe asked. Their match next week was on Sunday so he was free all of Saturday morning. He had no excuse to not take her, he also didn’t think he wanted one.

He hoped you were a little bit dumb. It was a horrible thought, he knew that, to wish stupidity on someone. But if there was any chance of him making a full recovery and banishing you to the depths of his mind, never to turn up again - especially not when he was in the shower with his hand around himself, he really fucking hoped that you were dumber than a box of rocks. You weren’t. He already had an inkling of that, but he could still live in hope.

“Fancy the Barbie movie next week?” You’d asked brightly as he’d held out his card to pay, he wasn’t sure if it was the physical and mental turmoil of having to watch you for the last hour, but he thought he could detect a sliver of hope in your voice.

“Fucking probably, she won’t let me say no.” Phoebe held out a hand for her pound. “Add it to my tab.”

And of course, that’s how he found himself in a dark cinema the following week with a gaggle of kids around him. He was still trying to work out if it was a blessing or a curse that he’d ended up sitting next to you - it had certainly earned him glares from one or two of the other grown ups. As you laughed again at another joke aimed to sail just over pre-teen heads, he knew it was a curse. It had to be. Forced to listen to that laugh for two hours? Fucking torture. When you cried, he knew he was done for. He reached over, just a little and patted the back of your hand in comfort. Just a little there, there gesture. You’d only fucking gripped his hand and squeezed it, he stole a glance at you and you’d given him a watery smile and a little lopsided shrug. Then you’d let go of his hand, and turned back to the movie. He had to spend the remaining 45 minutes of the film trying not to think about your warm hands carefully exploring his body.

The following week, he did it.

“Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?” He asked quietly as his card payment went through. He didn’t think you’d heard him until you looked up sharply.

"Aren't you like way out of my league?"

"What league is that then?”

“Well, you're in the ridiculously fit footballer league? Y’know for people who date supermodels and influencers?”

“I wouldn't fucking know about that.”

“I'm sure you would, I'm sure they don��t kick you out once you retire. Once a fit footballer, always a fit footballer? Is that the name of it? The… F. I. T? Or is it just the R.F.F.L?”

“What's that stand for?”

“No idea, it's your league, you tell me. Footballers Into Tits?”

“That’s a shit acronym”

“I know. I can do better, promise. Give me a minute.”

“I'm sure you'd be alright in that league” He said quietly,

“Excuse me? That was very cheeky. Ohh, maybe it could stand for ‘Filthy rich but Impossibly Tedious’?”

“That’s pretty good, definitely suits some footballers I know. Alright, fine. What fucking league are you in, then?”

“Whatever the Conference equivalent of the F.I.T is.”

“Now that can’t be true.”

“Oh yeah? How do you know?”

“I just fucking do. Is it a yes to coffee?”

“I mean, I still think you’re way too high up the F.I.T for me, but sure.”

“It’s the R.F.F.L actually.” He smirks as you hand him a flyer for the class.

“My number is on there.” You tell him, then you’d walked away without taking his number, which meant he was going to have to be the one to contact you first. No, you definitely weren’t dumb. Shit .

This wasn’t supposed to happen. It was a combination of factors really, a busy week at work meant though he’d messaged you quickly, he wasn’t actually able to meet for coffee until the end of the week. So you’d spent all week in a message exchange which had ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous.

“Would you rather fight 100 tiny Jamie Tartt’s or 1 giant one?”

“100 tiny ones. I’d fucking stamp on them all.”

“Figured out what league you’re in.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Champions League.”

“Fuck off am I. I’ve wikipedia’d your dating history mate. Gina Gershon? I think I should cancel coffee now…”

“Fuck, please don’t.”

“Do you always try so hard to look like you’re not looking at dance class?”

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uhuh. Ok.”

“Yes, I do. Every week is torture.”

“Jamie says I’m too old for the R.F.F.L.”

“Maybe that works in my favour. If I’m up against Gina fucking Gershon, I’d have no chance.”

“You’re not up against anyone.”

“I've been thinking about you all morning.”

“Was that flirting? Were you just flirting with me?”

“Shut up. See you later.”

And now… well. Coffee at 3pm on a Friday turned into dinner at 6pm, dessert at 8pm and a nightcap at 10pm in his kitchen. You tapped the edge of your empty tumbler,

“Another?” He asked, leaning against the counter just across from you.

“No, thank you. I should… go.” The lift at the end meant it could have been a statement, could have been a question. He nodded,

“Early class.”

“Yep. I think we lost track of time.”

“Or not,” he offered,

“Or not,” you bit your lip and he felt indecision fluttering in his chest. He pushed off the counter and closed the gap between you both in only one step.

“If I kissed you now, would you be mad?” He asked softly, he could see your body tremble with the breath you took.

“Think I’d be more mad if you didn’t.” He watched you hold his gaze for as long as you could before looking at his mouth. He took the tumbler from you and put it on the counter before placing a careful hand on your hip and leaning down to kiss you. The warm whisky taste of vanilla and honey mingled with the chocolate from your dessert and Roy realised that no, he hadn’t been tortured before, watching you teach a bunch of kids how to dance wasn’t the way he was going to go. This was. Right here in his kitchen with your arms winding around his neck and bringing him as close as you could possibly get him. Your fingers scratching through his hair. He pressed you into the counter,

“I’ve thought about doing this for a long time,” he whispered, kissing down your neck, making you gasp. He pulled away quickly, worried that it was too much too soon, “Shit, sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He went to move further back to give you space but your hands gripped his shirt to pull him back in,

“Please, I don’t want to stop,” you breathed heavily, “I don’t want you to stop.” You said, more firmly. He was against you again in an instant,

“Sure?” He asked, “You’re sure?” You stepped up to kiss him, making your feelings very clear,

“I’m sure.” Your fingers flew to the buttons of his shirt, undoing the first couple. He pulled you away from the counter, strong arms wrapped around your back and lifted you enough to move you both to the sofa. You stumbled against the cushions, falling backwards and pulling him with you so that he landed heavily on top of you.

"Oof."

“Fuck, sorry. You ok?” He sits back up on his knees, allowing you to automatically move your legs to either side of his and sit up,

“Never better,” his smile catches you off guard, “fuck, you’re gorgeous.” You mumble, reaching for him. The feeling is more than mutual. He needs to feel your kiss again, desperate to feel your skin on his. It’s better than anything he’d spent the last 8 weeks dreaming of. And the sounds you made as his hands and kisses explored your body were enough to drive him insane. He moves further down your body, pulling your skirt down with him and immediately turns to trail kisses and little bites along your inner thigh while his hand reaches up to link fingers with yours.

“Look at me,” he whispered, his breath hot against your hip. The simple request alone made your body turn to liquid against him. He’d spent so long thinking about (denying, debating, ignoring) the effect you had on him, he hadn’t actually considered that you would be just as affected by him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew he looked y’know, alright , for an older bloke. But still, seeing it first hand… seeing it first hand, hearing it first hand, from you was really something else entirely. You tugged his hand to bring up back up to you but he shook his head, his beard catching the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, “busy,” he said, his voice muffled. He focused on nothing but you, losing himself in each gasp, moan and clutch of your hand still holding his. He worked you through one bone-shaking orgasm without stopping, leaving you a shuddering mess as he went straight for another. Looking up at you, he could see the hand that wasn’t clinging onto him had covered your eyes. This time when you squeezed his hand, he made his way back up your body and settled between your legs. “You ok?” he asked, leaving soft kisses on your jaw before finally capturing your mouth in a filthy kiss. You didn’t speak, just shook your head. “You taste fucking incredible.” He kissed you again and you whimpered, finally moving your hand away from your eyes.

“I’ve got a problem.”

“Oh yeah?” He said, moving back to your neck, a hand slipping behind you to unclip your bra.

“Yeah I thought you’d only want a one night thing but that’s impossible now.”

“It was fucking impossible anyway. One night is definitely not enough time.”

“Oh,” you whispered weakly. “Good. Please-, oh fuck,” he caught a nipple lightly between his teeth, “please don’t stop.” So he didn’t, and he never would again if it was up to him. When he’d been (much) younger, he fully grasped the importance and concept of consent. He was a professional footballer - it wasn’t just important, it was crucial. But as he’d gotten older, he finally realised just how much better saying, and hearing, the words made everything. Being able to ask, “may I?” and “I need to hear you say it” and waiting, waiting, waiting, for the breathy response had never left him so wrecked before. He pushed into you in long, slow strokes while you met him with each roll of your hips. When you hold his jaw tightly to bring his gaze to yours, he nearly falls apart but he's determined to get you there first and he knows you're so close. "You feel so good-," you whisper, "So good."

"Fuck, I need-"

"I know, I'm right with you." His name is on you lips as you come and he thinks it's the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. When he joins you, he kisses you with such depth it's like you were made for him. You lay still together for a while as you catch your breath. He keeps his nose in the crook of your neck while his hand softly smooths across your ribs and the side of your breasts. Your legs no longer lock around him, you stretch out and enjoy the weight of his body covering you.

"'M crushing you," he mumbles. His voice so low in your ear makes you shiver and despite you not being ready for another round quite so soon, your hips buck, "Fucking hell, give me a minute," he laughs.

"You're not crushing me, and I'm not ready yet either," you grin into his hairline and kiss his temple.

"Hmm if you say so." He rocks against you, half hard again already, needing to hear the broken little moan that ghosts over his head. "Come on, I want you in a bed this time."

He wasn't happy when you had to tear yourself from his bed at 7am to go home. He wasn't happy when he picked Phoebe up at 8am. He wasn't happy in the drive thru Costa queue at 8.10am. He was happy at 8.20am when he finally got to hand you your coffee and see your smile as you stretched out on the floor of the dance studio. He was perfectly happy knowing that you'd be torturing his Saturday mornings for a while longer.

FIN

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fic #roy kent #roy kent x reader #roy kent imagine #roy kent smut #roy kent x you #roy kent fic #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent fluff

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danieyells · 6 months ago

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i am politely begging for lucas lines 🤲

LUCA MY BELOVED LITTLE BRIT KNIGHT. Luca is a darling but the thing about him is that he's so focused on his goal that he really seems to have no mind for anything else. . .well it's not a problem, but it does make him feel a little distant I guess.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"You're here 10 minutes early—I'm impressed. Let's check the details for today's mission."

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"A letter's arrived for you. It could be important—you'd better open it right away."

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"So this is all we have to go on for the next mission... Don't worry. No matter what anomaly awaits us, I'll keep you safe."

"I haven't trained nearly enough. I need to go on more missions... I have to do more, to find a way to subjugate them..."

bby you're already doing everything you can. . . .

"If you're ever in trouble, you can always come to me. I want to be there for my friends."

"Do I find it tough training every day? Those with strength have a duty to use it for others. I'm perfectly all right."

"I'm sorry. I haven't troubled you again with my thoughtlessness, have I?"

BABY YOU ARE THE MOST THOUGHTFUL MOST OF THE TIME DO NOT EVEN WORRY YOURSELF.

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"{PC}, good morning! An early training session will warm you up for the day. Would you care to join me?"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I'm sorry, I'm about to head out. A dangerous anomaly is wreaking havoc on campus again, and it's a threat to the general students."

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I invited Kaito to train with me, but he turned me down. Apparently, he's got a lot on his plate, but I'm worried about his lack of strength..."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"There's something I want to investigate a little further… You'll join me? Thank you. You really are very kind."

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Phew... I'm finished with today's revision. Still, it's not quite bedtime. Perhaps I could fit in a casual training session."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I've heard in Japan it's believed you're more likely to encounter evil spirits at twilight. Let's go find out if it's true."

hey let's go wander out alone at night and see if we can find demons to fight! don't worry tho i'll protect you nbd.

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Kaito invited me to have ramen with him again today. He says it's Tokyo's signature dish."

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Jin has been calling you to his room a lot lately. Is everything okay? If you feel uncomfortable, I'll have a word with him."

let's say she was uncomfortable, what would that resolve? you think jin's gonna listen to you? but lmao it's kinda funny to me that like Ritsu and Luca see Jin putting you to work and go like "hm. that seems concerning." IT'S FINE THO WE'RE INTO IT EVERYTHING'S GOOD.

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"You think everywhere in Frostheim is cold? That's not true—the bedrooms are properly heated, like the cozy spot in front of the fireplace in winter."

everywhere outside of that though, freezing. including the bathrooms. especially the bathrooms.

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"If you're struggling to sleep, the Sandman will come and pay you a visit. That's what one old folktale in the UK says, at least. He must have been some sort of anomaly, too."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"I'm fond of the morning air. My brother, on the other hand, always said he found the nighttime more relaxing. Which do you prefer?"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Today in Anomalous Combat I was scolded by Professor Dante for defeating a mock anomaly. I believe I made the right call, so I'm quite confused..."

PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS JESUS CHRIST THEY EXPLAIN THIS IN EVERY SINGLE CLASS THAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO CAPTURE THE ANOMALIES NOT DESTROY THEM. Jesus christ is that what they teach in Emrys?

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"In many ways, Frostheim etiquette is quite different from etiquette in the UK. I wish I could escort you, but I still have a lot to learn myself."

okay consider frostheim etiquette is shitty anyway most of the time so don't even worry about it they're assholes.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"We still have some time until class starts. Why don't we go and fetch the documents for our next mission from Tohma?"

buddy isn't the main building across campus from Frostheim. . .do we have that kind of time. . . .

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"You need to make sure you eat a proper breakfast. You lose muscle mass if you do things on an empty stomach. That's why I always have biscuits on me."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"In classes I sometimes notice discrepancies between what is taught at Emrys and what is taught at Darkwick. I wonder which is correct?"

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You worked hard today. No matter what ordeals await us tomorrow, I trust that you'll both be able to overcome them."

Luca believes in you! So believe in yourself too! You'll make it another day.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I've heard about the bushido ritual of seppuku. It's a rather extreme way of punishing oneself… It must require a great deal of mental fortitude."

IT'S NOT REALLY. . .A REGULAR WAY OF PUNISHING YOURSELF. . .I MEAN YEAH KILLING YOURSELF WITH RITUAL DISEMBOWLMENT REQUIRES A LOT OF MENTAL FORTITUDE BUT IT'S NOT EXACTLY. . .please keep your insides inside. . . .

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"You should go home and rest, {PC}. I won't allow the Devil's hour to pass tonight without finding some sort of hint..."

i feel like he doesn't find many hints and should worry about sleeping instead. . .what's with ghouls and not sleeping and eating enough. . . .

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Did you manage to get a good night's sleep? Rest is the best medicine. Don't push yourself to stay up too late, all right?"

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Did you see they've announced what our next test is going to cover, {PC}? I hope your studies are going well. I'm happy to help you with review if you need me to."

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm going to have a chat with Professor Hyde about demons before I leave today. You and Kaito should go on ahead."

he's so studious! but i bet hyde wishes he'd y'know live a little.

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Is a "pajama party" some sort of important event? Kaito was insisting that we invite you to one."

please teach this boy to relax a little. . .teach him a little fun social stuff. . . .

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sometimes I feel out of sorts, like I'm not myself. I still have a lot of training to do."

i think that's called exhaustion and having emotions, buddy. . .you can't train yourself out of that. . . .

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"We have experienced many joys and sorrows together since becoming friends. I'm very glad we met. I look forward to walking the road ahead with you."

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"I saw a lot of flowers in bloom while I was jogging through the campus this morning. It really brightened up my run."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Spring in Japan is quite similar to spring in the UK. The weather gets reassuringly warmer, and the air is filled with the scent of flowers."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Kaito has been nodding off in class a lot recently. I wake him up right away, but I'm still worried he'll fall behind..."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I've never seen cherry blossoms lit up at night before. They looked very different than they do in the daylight. I feel it taught me something about differing viewpoints."

i feel like i learned something! not sure what tho.

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Summer days are long and productive, but in Frostheim the days are short all year round. It's easy to get caught in the dark if you're not careful."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Kaito's going to teach me about Japanese summer again today. This is the first time I've spent the summer with friends— it's been a lot of fun."

;;;; please be a good first friend to him

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"There's a summer festival being held in Hotarubi this evening. I've got a yukata for it… Could you help me put it on?"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The sun stays up until late at night during summer in the UK, so Japan's dark, sweltering summer nights feel quite odd to me."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Tohma has been going out on a lot of private errands lately. I wonder where he's been going? You don't think he's doing secret training, do you?"

no sweetie i don't think he's secretly training without you. he's doing important administrative business. don't worry about it.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I like that autumn is considered the season for reading here. I'm reading two books at the moment—this one's in German, and this one's French. Can you read them?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Tohma just gave us some chestnuts, so Kaito and I are going to try roasting them in the kitchen. Would you like to join us?"

once again the Frostheim Family interactions are strong lolol HERE KIDS HAVE SOME SNACKS. KEEP IT DOWN YOUR FATHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Anomalies are more active in summer in Japan, whereas in the UK, they're more common in the autumn. I suppose Obon and Halloween are to blame there."

obon is in august that is barely summer tbh. i mean some places celebrate it in july i guess. but that's an interesting worldbuilding observation. local spirit and 'monster' related festivities influence the amount of anomalies that spawn in a region. so halloween in america and the uk result in a lot of anomalies. maybe there are lots of love related anomalies and like doves around valentine's day? then again Luca said they don't have them in the UK that he's aware of.

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"{PC}, your hands are red from the cold. Come on, let's run to the classroom. It'll warm you up."

while that is a realistic way of warming up who tf wants to go for a run in the cold. i mean it probably feels good the contrast in heat and cold but also HOW ABOUT WE GO TO THE STORE AND GET SOME MITTENS OR SOMETHING. but it is a very in character response for him lol. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"When Kaito put a satsuma on his head and said, "I'm a New Year's decoration," Tohma fell silent and walked away. I'm confused— was it some sort of spell?"

satsuma are those little mandarins they put on top of kagami-mochi at New Years! if you've seen japanese winter/new years art you may have seen characters with them sat atop their heads while they relax in kotatsu. in the japanese version Kaito says "kagami-mochi" and Luca likely doesn't know what kagami-mochi is, so he thought it was magic.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The sun sets early this time of year. It's easy to feel down when the nights are long, but that's why it's especially important to stick to a routine like an exercise schedule."

Luca wards off his seasonal depression with exercise. good to know.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"On a clear, frosty night, you can see an aurora in the sky above Frostheim. It's very inspiring—like a beacon of hope in the darkness."

His birthday: (March 22nd)

"I suppose today is my birthday. Thank you. If you don't mind, will you join me in praying for my twin brother's safety?"

i gently rag on him for caring about nothing else but. it's clear how much his brother means to him and how worried he is about him, that even his birthday is dedicated to worrying over his wellbeing. idk who or what he prays to, or if it's just a general hoping thing or a 'since i'm in japan i'll make my pleas to japan's gods, in case those entities might have any power to help' type thing, like going to a shrine just because it's what everybody does, but. idk. i hope he can have a nice birthday outside of worrying about his brother. then again, it's hard to enjoy your birthday when you know it's your twin's birthday too and not knowing where they are, i guess.

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}. There is a reason you were born into this world, and it's something that should be celebrated."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year. I've heard it's customary to visit a shrine, so I'm planning to invite Kaito to go with me. Would you like to come along?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Thank you! This is all very new to me. In the UK, it's men who express their gratitude to women on Valentine's Day."

i was gonna say something questioning because i'm american but when i think about it women in relationships with men don't really/aren't expected to give something to their boyfriends/husbands are they. it's much more of a day to give to/do something for your girlfriend. usually the idea of a gift for a man on valentine's day is ~dress sexy for him and have sex with him~ or whatever because other material stuff like stuffed animals and candy and flowers are seen as non-masculine gifts and things men wouldn't like. . .but that's kind of sad to think about. idk i guess i never really thought about it because valentine's day is a day that has no meaning to me. and 'valentine's day is a day men express their gratitude to women' is a very kind perspective on how it seems like people treat valentine's day haha. . . .

White Day: (March 14th)

"Thank you for the chocolate you gave me last month. This is a token of my appreciation. They're Thorntons chocolates— I just received them from back home."

do you think his family sent them and he decided to give you something lovingly sent to him by his family, or that he ordered them for the occasion specifically. . .i think it's sweet either way.

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"How odd... Kaito has been acting peculiar all morning. I wonder if he's coming down with something. Did you notice it, too?"

homie's really been living under a rock huh.

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Is that you under that mask, {PC}? I could just tell. I don't really understand what's so fun about this holiday."

on one hand, maybe if you got him to dress up and go trick-or-treating he'd enjoy it more? on the other hand i feel like he'd be on edge about it. More anomalies around in the UK around halloween, and he'd be so busy thinking about if there are demons around under his nose he wouldn't be able to have fun. . .poor guy probably grew out of halloween early huh.

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Happy Christmas! It's a shame I'm not able to celebrate Christmas Eve with my family this year, but I'm glad that I have all of you now."

you're his family now ;;;;;

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Penny for them? I'm happy to lend an ear if there's something troubling you."

'them' being 'your thoughts' in case you aren't familiar with the expression

(13 affinity and above)

"When deciding on your next move, I do think it's important to think carefully. That said, hesitation can cost lives. Balance is crucial."

boy it ain't that deep i am idle because i am checking emails or something would you relax--

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"I knew you'd be back. If you're prepared to work to overcome this ordeal once again, I will gladly lend you my strength."

THOSE ARE MOST ALL OF HIS VOICELINES he's very. . .focused. it makes him a little repetitive but considering what's happening to bring him here i don't blame him. . . .

Of course finding his brother is important but the poor guy doesn't even see the world around him really, which is kind of sad. . . . On one hand, it's good that he's able to focus on his goals and desires, on the other hand it feels like those things are all he cares about because he feels like he has to and other aspects of life fly by him even if he'd otherwise enjoy them. . . . But even as his affinity goes up it feels like he focuses on so many of the same things. He sees you very much as his family and the first real friends he's ever made, which does lend to a positive relationship, but even then it feels like he keeps you at arm's length and sees you as someone to protect more than a loved one. . .maybe if he can find his brother or find out what happened to him he'll lighten up a little someday. then again given he isn't familiar with things like pajama parties and april fool's day he was probably serious even with his brother around! I assume they're going to be opposite type brothers, where his brother is a very jovial and relaxed person, but Luca is serious and strict. but only time will tell!

#lucas errant #luca errant #tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker spoilers #datamining cw #danie yells at tokyo debunker #danie yells answers #moxachuu #why am i so sleepy today. . .i didn't sleep that badly did i? maybe i'll take a quick nap and clean up before i do the next one.

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hanmaitani · 6 months ago

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Label Us Whatever

PAIRING - Tendou Satori x Reader WC - 1.3K GENRE - Angst, Suggestive What You Missed - after a month of being in your 'friends with benefits' relationship with satori, you realize that you were thinking about him subconsciously, and maybe it was time for a label.

PREV PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART

You were still yawning as you got back to your dorm room door. It wasn't even light out yet and your arms felt heavy as you lifted them to put your key into the lock. You had to fiddle with it more than you wanted to, silently cursing yourself for never putting in that maintenance request to fix the lock that stuck.

"Morning, sunshine." The joke came from the dorm door across the hall. You turned to face your best friend with a sigh. The blond-haired boy was leaning against his doorframe, the door still open so that you could see past him and into his room.

"Why are you up so early, Eita?" You yawned around his name and blinked at him a few times, trying to shake the sleepiness out of your brain.

Eita scoffed and raised his eyebrows at you in disbelief. "Haven't slept yet, got a major paper due this afternoon, gotta finish editing." You peeked around him and saw an array of discarded coffee cups and energy drink cans near his desk and nodded in understanding. "Why are you coming home at 5am?"

You sighed and rolled your eyes, leaning against your still closed door. "8am class. Had to get ready." You brought your hand up to wipe at the corner of your eyes where remnants of sleep lingered, nearly scaring yourself when your hand brushed the keys still hanging out of your door as it came up.

"Where were you?" You opened your mouth to reply but you were too slow, he cut you off again. "Actually, nope, don't answer. I already know. Same place you've been for the last four nights."

You groaned and closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the door. "Don't start Eita, it's not been that long."

"Really?" Eita's eyebrows raised in challenge, his hand gestured to the key in your door that you'd sworn was out to get you. "You know your door is only sticking in the frame because you've not been here, right?"

You sighed, going quiet as you looked down at the door. Had you really been done that long? You truly hadn't noticed.

You never planned to find your way back to Satori's dorm after class instead of your own. It was always something that happened spur of the moment.

You ran into each other. He texted you towards the end of your class. You got stressed and texted him.

After each time, you never meant to stay. You were just so tired and the thought of walking back to your own dorm just didn't sound appealing. Not when there was a warm bed you were already in.

Eita's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. "C'mon, you're wearing his jacket." You stared at the jacket draped over your body. Purple fabric that was way too large to be your own. "Y/n, you said this was a 'no feelings' situation and you're getting a little close."

"It's none of your business, Eita!" Your voice raised at him as you glared, irritation flooding through your tired body and overtaking any sense that you had. "It's just whatever. Leave it alone. So I stayed a couple nights. What. Ever."

Eita rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You know what, it's too early. I'm not dealing with this." His door slammed shut before you could even process that you'd snapped at him.

"Fuck," you mumbled in frustration before turning back to your door. You jiggled at the handle and groaned, smacking the wood when it didn't open. "Stupid old building."

You shouldered the door and stumbled into your dorm as it gave for you. You couldn't help but feel foreign in your own room. You had been at Satori's for a while.

"Stupid Eita." You dragged the sweatshirt off your body, the warmth and comfort going with it, and tossed it onto your chair.

There was nothing between you and Satori. It was all whatever.

As much as you hated to admit it, Eita's words ricocheted around your sleep-deprived brain for the rest of the day. Especially when you stepped through the doorway of Satori's place instead of your own at the end of class. Again.

"You okay?" Satori asked, his eyes trailing after you as you entered. His long body stayed leaning in the frame as the door fell shut but his eyes trailed the sluggish nature of your movements, laced with concern.

"Just tired," you lied, "pent up." You tossed your bag onto his desk chair and stood there for a second, sighing as you looked around the room.

Everything in it was more familiar than you ever thought it would be. You couldn't understand why your first instinct at the end of a day was to come here. It was stupid, truly. You shook the thought out of your head as you felt him tug on your wrist.

He was moving to sit on his bed now, tugging you with him so you stood before him, body slotted between his legs. "Then just relax," his hands rubbed circles into your wrists before moving to your hips to draw you closer, "let me help." He mumbled the words as his eyes locked onto your throat, moving his lips to follow and press to the hollow just below it.

"Satori." You sighed out his name as you let your head relax, fall back loosely and succumb to his lips. He hummed in response, vibrating across your skin as his hands burning paths to the hem of your shirt. "We're still doing the 'no feelings' thing, right?" Your eyes were trained on the ceiling as the question tumbled out.

His movements faltered for a second before he fully pulled back to look at you, guiding your head back up with a palm so you could lock eyes. His brows were stitched together as you could see confusion paint its way across his face. "Where did that come from?"

You suddenly felt extremely embarrassed by the question that you let slip. Heat flooded up your cheeks as you stuttered. You hadn't even meant to ask. "I just- I mean I just wanted to make sure. You know, that we were still on the same page." You excused, worried that you'd crossed a line you couldn't uncross.

He was quiet for a moment, taking in how you trembled in his arms, soft circled under your eyes from the recent nights you'd spent with him rather than getting sleep.

It was like the conversation the two of you had to start this situation was floating between the two of you there. Like a screen asking if you really wanted to delete that label or keep it.

Satori pressed it for you. "Yeah, yeah," He nodded, "no feelings." He ignored the feeling of something tugging inside of him when he watched you sigh in response to the words, relief washing your features and relaxing your body.

You smiled at him, keeping the label. "Right." You nodded along with him, the relief feeling weird as it sat in your own chest. Eita didn't know anything. "We're just..." you scrunched your face looking for the right word, "whatever."

"Yeah." Satori sighed, a small smile on his lips as he leaned back to put his lips on your skin again. "It's whatever." He brushed his kisses against your collar bone as his hands slipped against your bare torso, heading for the latch on your bra.

"We're just whatever. No feelings."

The declaration, the agreement, the label was there to make you both feel better. But somehow, there was a tightness that it created in both of your chests.

You couldn't be bothered to think about it. It had lifted a weight. Created a certainty.

You and Satori were just whatever.

TAGLIST - OPEN

@faumpje @all-in-the-fandoms @pearl-blue-musings

#tendo x reader #tendo satori x reader #tendou x reader #tendou satori x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #tendo fanfiction #tendou fanfiction #𓇻 SE

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inkyquince · 1 year ago

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I'm too eepy so I'll go into detail later but fucking...

Content warning, oh god. Blood, lots of blood. Gortash being a nasty. Dark urge reader. Lots of talk about overpowering the dark urge sexually but it's very consensual, just power play. Rough kissing and sex and impact play and stabbing but that's seen as a sexy foreplay. It's also kinda absatatvg and bad lmao, I wrote this at 5am in bed after I woke up and I'm gonna go back to sleep in three seconds.

Fucking Gortash being a freak. Adoring the blood when Dark Urge bites into his neck, hard enough for their teeth to leave marks, scars that have been whittled into his skin over time. Loves the way they kiss him afterwards- if it could be called a kiss. Their mouth soaked in his blood, pressing their tongue into his mouth and he lets them drag the tip over his teeth. Do they doubt that he would bite down on it, or do they not care if he did tried to inflict the pain? Or worse, would they welcome it, and any semblance of restraint would peel away? With his pride holding him back, he'd let them do ungodly things to him, this creature born of murder under the killing moon.

He's thought of them, wearing the same fineries of the nobles that flock around him every day, and his stomach tightens. Dressed up, their hands stained with blood, a true beast among the quivering herd of people with riches sewn into their clothes. Gortash thinks of them in satin and lace and in blood.

But the only thing better than to kneel to this child of Bhaal, is to make them twitch.

Roughly cupping their face, even as they bare they teeth, just to press his lips to theirs, even has they hiss and spit. Gortash thinks of submitting to them as an act of love fondness but him overpowering them is his own act of worship.

They have their cultists to kiss their feet as they deserved the steps to their fathers temple, they have a butler to bequeath them gifts, but he'll be the only one that holds their attention. Their temple resting on his knee, even if he has to bruise their throat in his harsh grip to push them down.

Gortash needs to overpower them, but not in the usual way of needing a brat to become subservient to him, with a kick to their gut. No, he needs to wrestle them down, and show them he's the victor. He'll be dripping blood, a dagger stuck in his side, but he'll win, and they'd feel that their true place is under him, with his hard cock pressing against their side, as he mouths at their neck, uncaring about any who'd stumble upon them.

Ever since returning, his life has felt plastic, serene, sterilised. The Urge, his Urge, reminds him of the Hells, of sulphur staining his skin and blood on his tongue where he had nearly bitten through it as the jailer beats him and mocks him. He hates it. But on the Bhaalspawn, the humiliation of his flashbacks become an aphrodisiac, and he greedily drinks it all in.

So he fucks them against marble floors and prestigious paintings and expensive cloth, as they bite him and scratch him and spill both of their blood. They could ram a dagger through his side and he'd still grip their chin to force them to meet his lips.

The days he spends over powering them, gripping their wrists down as they sink their teeth into his fragile skin, will one day give way to when they stretch out against his sheets, drowsiness settling in, and they stay. Maybe because they don't care about their vulnerability at that moment, or maybe because there's a semblance of trust between them, where he wears a collar of their bites, and they roll over and show their belly for him.

Either way, what bliss.

#i think my writing has gotten more pretentious since ive started my masters lol #bg3 gortash #gortash x durge #dark urge #bg3 #nsft #quincewrites #i fuckin love them

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correctproseka · 3 months ago

Note

get rarepaird. akinene + mizushiho

Tbf the first things i get are usually rarepairs

Also im sorry akinene's is not as good as my usual hcs bc. Honestly im not as familiar with how their relationship would be

Who said “I love you” first

Akinene: Akito. He says it on such a win and he's the one to nearly die as soon as he realizes what he said

Mizushiho: Shiho, despite having the fame of being grumpy, Shiho also is more open to her feelings thanks to leo/need, Mizuki is cheerful but really closed off, so they'd never say it, but they're so fucking thankful that Shiho reciprocates it.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

Akinene: hands down Akito, Nene probably has the default one tbh

Mizushiho: Mizuki. My girl's a simp and has a selfie of them together. Shiho says its cringy but smiles whenever she sees it.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Akinene: tbf i dont think either would, but Akito draws on it for himself and Nene always comments that she liked it

Mizushiho: Mizuki again, she draws cat ears at Shiho's height so when Shiho leaves the shower she sees herself with drawn on cat ears on the mirror

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

Akinene: Probably both. Akito likes to give her flowers, Nene makes him chocolate

Mizushiho: Mizuki primarily, but Shiho likes to reciprocate with the sappiest shit she can think of and Mizuki always melts

Who initiated the first kiss

Akinene: Nene, after Akito confessed and they went on a date, she had to go on her tip toes though

Mizushiho: Shiho, i feel like Mizuki just annoyed her (lightheartedly) sm that Shiho kabedonned Mizuki and kissed them (also on her tip toes)

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Akinene: Nene goes to sleep at the time Akito's waking up so she kisses him awake before passing out asleep at like 5am.

Mizushiho: both, depends on who wakes up earlier

Who starts tickle fights

Akinene: Akito, he lives with a sister he can't live without tickle fights anymore. Nene is used to it due to Emu but she's not strong enough to ever win one

Mizushiho: Mizuki. Shiho always ends up pinning them down and tickling (and kissing) them senseless tho

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Akinene: Nene, but i feel like they both like a time for themselves where they can relax with just them yknow, Nene usually brings it up though

Mizushiho: Shiho, Mizuki is afraid Shiho will think they're disgusting despite Shiho knowing the secret already, slowly Mizuki starts asking more tho because they like to ramble about things and talk about their day

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Akinene: Akito doesn't have set work time but Nene usually does, so he tends to bring her lunch more often, she does the same when she has lunch time free

Mizushiho: Shiho, a similar reason as above, Shiho's work is practice and as they have Honami they rarely ever skip lunch, Honami always remembers the others, so Shiho ends up bringing Mizuki lunch during leo/needs break time because Mizuki 9 times out of 10 will be hyperfocusing and forgetting to eat

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

Akinene: both. Nene almost threw up before it. Akito made a bigger front and pretended he was confident though

Mizushiho: both, Shiho's panic was more subdue and she kept picking on her sleeves. Mizuki was screaming about which outfits to wear for three hours with Ena

Who kills/takes out the spiders

Akinene: Akito kills them

Mizushiho: Shiho takes them out

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

Akinene: possibly Akito he's the loudest generally

Mizushiho: Mizuki would do it sober AND drunk dont underestimate them

#ask #shippy questions thingy #anon #akinene #mizushiho

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sashaisready · 1 year ago

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Chapter 3 - Now or Never

Nick Fowler x Reader

Summary: Reader is a brilliant but shy and awkward CIA employee whose work is often overlooked by her colleagues…she’s blended into the background for so long that she doesn’t think there’s any other way - even if she does have secret aspirations for another life. Unbeknownst to her - a certain blue eyed agent is very aware of her talents, even if nobody else is.

Under the Radar Masterlist

<Chapter Two - Beige

Warnings: Angst! Nick being a dick, some sexist/misogynistic language

Wordcount: 3804 (sorry quite a long one but there’s a lot of stuff to set up 😉 I am excited!!)

You could barely sleep after he left. You managed to grab a few hours…somehow…but you laid wide awake just after 5am. Your mind couldn’t settle. You just replayed what he’d said over and over again.

No drive. Beige. Nothing. No drive. Beige. Nothing.

He was embarrassed of you. All this time you had hoped you were wrong. That you were overthinking it. You had clung weakly to the idea that he’d dismiss such a thing if confronted.

But you were right.

He was ashamed to be seen with you. Ashamed if anyone found out that he was sleeping with you.

The worst part was…he wasn’t entirely wrong. You knew that about yourself. You played it safe. You liked it comfortable, you liked a sure thing. You knew if you went for a promotion you’d probably have a good shot at it, but you were afraid to fail. Afraid to be bad at something. You knew your job like the back of your hand. You were good at it because you knew it so well. Your fear was what stopped you from taking a leap. From learning. From being out in the field. It was cowardly.

You were such a coward in fact that you had let this man walk all over you for so long, too afraid to question him and risk bringing down the fragile house of cards you’d built. Of course he didn’t respect you. How could he? You barely respected yourself.

There had been a moment though…When you questioned him about his soft treatment in the bathroom….how he held you…you could’ve sworn you saw a moment of weakness in his eyes. A hint of admission that you’d hit a nerve. That maybe it did all mean something.

But you couldn’t think like that anymore.

You needed to stop obsessing over every detail in an attempt to find the words he wasn’t saying. Stop fruitlessly trying prove to yourself that he cared about you. It was all so clear now. He didn’t. He never did.

As much as your heart ached, the revelation was freeing. You had your answer. It wasn’t the answer you wanted, but now you knew. You could draw a line under all of this and move on. Maybe, in time, find someone who would be proud to have you on their arm.

You smiled, the glimmer of optimism lifting you from your funk. In a strange way, Nick had given you a new lease of life. You would prove him wrong. Prove him wrong about all of it.

It was nearly 6am when you admitted defeat and accepted you weren’t going back to sleep. You normally didn’t get up til gone 7, but you decided to start your day. You had two choices: mope into your laptop and try to keep a low profile to avoid Nick, or walk into work with your head held high and prove he hadn’t broken you.

You chose the latter.

And…it wouldn’t hurt to show him what he was missing, would it?

First order of business - remove temptation. You deleted Nick’s messages from your phone. Deleted your call log with him. Blocked his number and deleted his contact. It wasn’t like he messaged you much anyway, but this way you avoided any urge to text him - and couldn’t be swayed if he tried to get back in touch (unlikely, but good to be sure). It felt a little sad to remove them, especially the easy back and forth of your banter in the early days. The little jokes. His compliments. All sent to the digital graveyard in the sky. You sighed. A good first step.

After showering, eating breakfast and firing off a few explanatory texts to Annie, you opened your closet to find something to wear to work. You flicked through your endless work blouses and pants, all perfectly fine, but you wore them everyday on rotation. Beige. Some were a bit too big, some a bit too bland. Your non-work clothes were too casual…you didn’t really have anything else to wear except…

….oh yes. The pencil dress.

Annie had given it to you some time ago, suggesting you could wear it to the office. She worked in fashion so was always trying to pawn off garments she thought would work for you. You’d laughed it off at first, the dress was nice - a fitted black number, flattering, pretty but still formal. But you wouldn’t wear something like that - certainly not to work! You’d stuck in the back of your closet and planned to stick it on eBay, but never got around to it. You were grateful for your past laziness.

As you pulled the dress from the hanger your phone buzzed. You held your breath for a second wondering if it was him - but of course it wasn’t. He was blocked. And he wouldn’t be messaging anyway.

It was Annie. She was always up at the crack of dawn doing yoga or Pilates, so it was no surprise she’d got back to you so quickly.

What!! Ugh that ASSHOLE. Sweetie, I’m sorry - but you are better off without him. I’ve always known he wasn’t good enough for you. Well done for walking away. You deserve so much more. Drinks this week, first round on me ❤️ A

You smiled as your phone buzzed again. Annie had sent an addendum.

Also - wear that pencil dress to work today. No arguments. Look fabulous. Make him sweat.

❤️ A

You laughed out loud, it was the first time you’d felt a bit of joy since Nick left. She was your best friend for a reason. You pulled on the dress, carefully rolling it down your body and zipping it up.

You looked in the mirror, immediately feeling a little anxious. You looked…good. That you couldn’t deny. But could you really wear this to work? It wasn’t overly revealing, it fit the dress code, but it hugged your figure in a way your other work clothes never did. Was this really you?

No. It wasn’t. But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe trying something not-you was a good idea.

Beige.

You inhaled deeply, your mind made up. You slipped on a pair of heels you rarely wore but kept for weddings and formal parties when you needed them. They were surprisingly comfortable, not painful stilettos you needed to hobble around in.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, surprised at how different you looked. But not hating it. Absolutely not.

You took a bit more time doing your hair and make-up than you would normally spend on work days. Once you finished, you surveyed your handiwork in the full length mirror. Not bad. Not bad at all. You felt a pang of confidence and you welcomed it gladly, a bright spot in the sea of your despair.

You snapped a selfie and sent it to Annie, who immediately fired back a series of flame and heart eye emojis. You chuckled.

It was now or never.

You felt sick as you walked to your desk, very aware of the additional attention you were receiving this morning. A few of your male colleagues said good morning, the ones who barely noticed you normally. You smiled weakly back in return, faintly angry that it took a tight dress to get them to show you some basic courtesy. Grant the security guy was polite at least.

A small wave of embarrassment hit as you sat down. Was everyone looking at you? Judging you? Did you look bad? Did they think you were trying too hard? God. This is why you preferred to blend into the background. Far less complicated.

But once you opened your laptop and started work, your nerves melted away. You threw yourself into your documents, tapping away at a report before comparing some photos of a potential target location. Busy was good. Busy meant your mind was occupied.

It was mid-morning when you got up to refill your coffee, the lack of sleep from last night finally catching up as your adrenaline began to wear off. You were just in the break room filling up your mug when you heard a chatter of voices enter the room.

Nick strolled in discussing a shipment of some kind with Director Walsh. You froze, feeling that nauseous feeling return as you noticed him, your heart pounding in your chest. Your body on fire.

He looked over at you for a moment before looking back at Walsh, but his eyes did a double take and he glanced back at you once more, a flash of surprise on his face before nodding in response to Walsh’s question.

You finished making your coffee as quickly as you could, desperate to get away and back to the safety of your desk.

Walsh’s cell rang and he sighed, excusing himself as he darted out of the room to take it. He was a good boss. A good leader. He was greying and slightly out of shape, but his presence still commanded everyone’s attention. You had always been in awe of him for that.

You waited for Nick to leave too, but you could feel his eyes on your back as you stirred your cup and picked it up to head back to your sanctuary.

“Nice dress” he finally said monotonously.

You turned, giving him a friendly nod as you tried not to look too deeply into those eyes of his. Not wanting to fall into them again.

“Thank-you, Agent Fowler”. You said politely.

He scoffed, shaking his head. “Oh…we’re doing that, are we?”

You looked at him quizzically. “Sorry? Doing what?”

He rolled his eyes. “You know exactly what. Formalities. Do you think I’m dumb? You wear the same clothes here day in, day out, and now suddenly after last night you’re wearing that? Don’t insult my intelligence, princess” he spat.

You looked down at the dress, then back at Nick. You hadn’t really expected such a direct response to it. You weren’t sure how you managed to compose yourself but you pushed through, ignoring the thumping in your ears and how dry your mouth had suddenly become.

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you mean…” you said plainly.

He chuckled. “Look, how things went down was…” he paused to think “Unfortunate…but we can still be adults about this. We need to be civil, we both need to work together”.

You nodded.

“So don’t play games and wear tight outfits for my benefit” he said sharply.

You sighed mockingly as if he had said the silliest thing you’d ever heard.

“Agent Fowler, I think you’ll find this is a work appropriate item of clothing that fits the dress code guidance. If you have an issue with my attire, please raise it with HR. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to be getting on with”.

With that you left the room without looking back, a small smirk on your lips.

Despite your cool facade you were on the verge on a panic attack once you sat back at your desk. You hadn’t expected Nick to confront you quite so directly. Still…you couldn’t deny it felt good to rattle him a little. Normally you were the one doting on him, begging for any scraps of attention he gave you like a stray dog - and here you were now - giving him the ice queen treatment and leaving him standing by himself.

You hoped it would get easier to be around him. You weren’t cut out for this dicey game of oneupmanship. Even if it was incredibly satisfying when it paid off.

You managed to throw yourself back into your work, ignoring the occasional admiring glance from some of your male colleagues.

You were concentrating hard when Director Walsh walked by your desk, his deep voice surprising you out of your trance as he said your name.

He knew your name?

He knew your name.

Maybe Nick wasn’t right about everything.

“Yes, Sir?” You smiled, looking up and giving him your full attention.

“You finished that Phoenix report yet?” He asked.

You nodded. “All good to go, I just needed to tweak some of the coordinates”.

He smiled approvingly. “Good work. Can you drop a hard copy over to Fowler ASAP? He’s going to be leading that Op now”.

Fuck.

You smiled again. “Of course, I’ll get right on that Sir”.

He gave you a small nod before disappearing across the office floor.

You sighed. You should’ve been delighted to have such a positive interaction with Walsh. Normally he barely acknowledged your existence. But he knew your name! He said good work!! Of course it was all tainted by having to speak to Nick…

You sent the report to the printer and picked it up on the way to Nick’s office. Just get in and out. Ignore any pointed little comments, respond with professionalism like you had earlier.

As you approached you could see his door was ajar. That was a good sign. He always closed it when he was inside working. You checked your watch. Lunchtime. He most likely wasn’t there, probably on some long lunch with another agent like usual, so you could leave the report on his desk and sneak off before he returned. Perfect.

You padded up to the door, not bothering to knock as you strode in because you assumed it was empty - only to hear a woman’s laugh and a snippet of conversation as you came inside.

“So…when are you taking me out again?” The female voice said coyly as you stepped through.

It was too late to retreat. Nick was sitting at his desk and leaning on it in front of him was Mace, the brilliant and beautiful agent. Nick’s colleague. She was so close to him she was practically in his lap. Nick was wearing the smirk you knew all too well.

Mace was, by all accounts, a badass, and just happened to be movie star gorgeous too. Your stomach sank.

Take her out again?

They both turned to look at you, confused by your presence.

“Oh…I’m-I’m sorry” you muttered. “The door was open so I…I didn’t think anyone was…oh…”

Nick stared over at you, his face giving nothing away as always.

Take her out again? When did they go out before?

You blinked, realising you hadn’t finished your explanation. You quickly regained your cool despite the heat burning in your cheeks.

“Apologies, Agent Fowler…I wouldn’t have barged in if I’d known you were here. I have the Phoenix report for you- Director Walsh said you needed it”.

You handed the report to him and he accepted it, nodding.

“Thank-you” he said impassively.

“And apologies again for the intrusion” you added.

He waved a hand dismissively and you moved to leave.

“You look nice today” Mace chirped as you passed her, her red hair glowing in the sunlight from the window.

You turned to face her, conjuring up the most genuine smile you could. “Thanks…”

She smiled back and you stole a quick glance at Nick as you left. He was just staring, his expression impenetrable.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

It had been a few hours since the Mace incident and you’d been quietly spiralling at your desk ever since.

Ugh…you were dumb. Did you really think he was exclusively fucking you? Of course he’s been with other women - other women in the office even. And Mace is beautiful and talented and they travel together out on ops all the time - you were a fool for not figuring it out sooner.

Not only that, Mace was everything he said you weren’t. Established and respected in her career, at the top of her field, known by everyone in the CIA. She certainly wasn’t beige.

Here you were, playing stupid games in your stupid dress trying to provoke him while he was pursuing other women. How embarrassing.

You got your head down and continued to work for a bit longer until you realised you could smell a familiar cologne. You looked up to find Nick strolling to the desk behind you.

“Leigh” he said smugly.

Ugh. Agent Leigh. Hardly your favourite person. A frat boy who never grew up. Loud, brash, as subtle as a foghorn. You did your best to interact with him as little as possible. Fortunately the feeling seemed to be mutual as you were one of the few female staff members he didn’t try to corner at social events. He at least had the good sense to understand that you had no time for him.

“Fowler!” You heard him reply. He laughed his weaselly laugh and you suppressed an eye roll. “How’s life, my man?”

“Not bad, not bad” Nick responded. “Just seeing if you were available for drinks tonight - bit of a guy’s night, yknow”.

Leigh practically hollered. “Hell yeah, man! Where you thinkin’?”

“Ignite, downtown”,

“Sweet! Yes! Ignite has the hottest tail”.

You couldn’t suppress the eye roll this time.

Nick chuckled. “It does certainly attract a class of women who are easy on the eye”.

Pig. Asshole. Pig.

You knew he was doing this on purpose. Baiting you. Trying to get a reaction out of you after you bested him earlier. This was punishment.

“Exactly!” Laughed Leigh. “But you know me…I’m not fussy. If she’s got a pulse, I’m down”.

Grossgrossgross.

“Hey…Palmer, you coming?”

Leigh called over to Agent Palmer, who was sitting nearby and like you was unfortunate enough to bear witness to this scintillating conversation.

Palmer looked up and smiled weakly. “Not really my scene, I’ll pass”.

“It’ll be fun” Nick purred.

“Oh don’t be a pussy, man!” Leigh continued. “You need to get some ass, loosen up a little” he laughed.

You wrinkled your nose in disgust.

“Hey…c’mon man” Palmer said scoldingly. His gaze momentarily flickered over to you. “Don’t talk like that”.

“Oh…you worried about Miss Priss? Forget that hardass” Leigh laughed, referring to you.

You felt your head pound as you did your best to pretend you didn’t hear.

“Dude! Shut it!” Palmer said warningly. You could hear the anger in his voice. “Don’t be an asshole. That’s not cool”.

You looked at him, giving him a small, grateful smile. He smiled back sympathetically.

“He’s right, we’re at work” Nick interjected. “Let’s keep it to shop talk, okay?”

At least he’d shut it down. But you felt a pang of sadness that he hadn’t stood up for you like Palmer had.

Leigh exhaled. “Whatever, party poopers” he got up and headed towards the break room, giving Nick finger guns as he went. “See you at quitting time, Fowler. Hope your liver is ready for me”.

You could hear Palmer calling him a dick and asking if you were okay, but you felt far away - barely present.

You felt Nick lingering behind you but you couldn’t face turning around to look at him. You were flushed with embarrassment after Leigh’s comments. It was like you were back in high school and one of the popular kids was making fun of you. You tightly squeezed your mouse, pretending to be engrossed in your screen.

Beige. Beige. Hardass. Miss Priss.

No drive. No drive. No drive.

You glanced over to the window of Director Walsh’s office. He was sitting inside, squinting at his monitor. You knew he wasn’t busy. He always put in a 30 minute block in his calendar around this time, he claimed it was to catch up on emails and paperwork but you knew he mostly spent it bidding on eBay or reading sports news.

Now or never.

You had stood up before you fully realised what you were doing, striding over to Walsh’s office. The combination of Leigh’s assholery and humiliating truth about Nick and Mace ignited something in you that you couldn’t stop. You were fuelled by anger and disgust. Before you knew it you were knocking on his door.

“Sir? Do you have 5 minutes?” You asked cheerily, hoping he couldn’t see how upset you were.

Walsh looked up, clearly surprised to see you but gestured for you to take a seat.

You sat, then cleared your throat.

“What can I do for you?” He asked gruffly.

You swallowed. “Well, Sir, I’ve been here for five years now. In that time I’ve established myself as an essential team member - my briefing reports are thorough and meticulous, I always meet my deadlines. The agents know that whatever work they give me, it’ll be done quickly and to a high standard. Just ask any of them…”

He peered thoughtfully at you.

You cleared your throat again, trying to keep your nerves at bay.

“…and you see, I think, uh, well I know I’ve got even more to offer. I’ve got a keen eye for detail and a passion to learn. I’m ready for the next step. Not just do everybody’s background work. So…sir…I’d like to be…well, assigned to an op directly. To work alongside an agent on the strategy and planning. I…I just want a chance to prove I can, sir”.

You stammered slightly at the end, but sat up straight and clasped your shaking hands together in an attempt to appear calm and collected.

Walsh studied you, moving a finger to his lip as he considered your proposal. After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.

“Okay”.

Your face brightened. “Okay? Really?”

He nodded. “You’re right. You’ve proven you’re competent. You deserve a shot”.

You grinned in return, trying to appear professional but unable to mask your glee.

“Thank you! Thank-you sir…I won’t let you down. I promise”.

He nodded again before walking to the door and calling out to the office floor.

“Palmer? A minute please”.

Palmer appeared seconds later, the curiosity evident on his face as he saw you sitting there.

Walsh sat down behind his desk and pointed between the both of you.

“The two of you are going to be working on Project Cotton together. Effective immediately. Palmer - She’ll be your number two - working with you on the strategy and logistics to prepare for you going out in the field. We’ll be taking her off her normal duties for a few weeks so please see to it that her other work is re-assigned amongst the other assistants”.

Palmer nodded. “Yes, sir”.

“Fowler will be out on Project Phoenix for a few weeks from tomorrow so I need you to lead on this” Walsh added. “It’s priority number one”.

“Absolutely, Sir. Understood”.

A new work opportunity. A chance to prove yourself and defy everyone’s impressions of you. Nick. Leigh. Walsh. Yourself. And no Nick hanging around to distract you. Distance and time to get over him.

It was almost too good to be true.

You beamed at Palmer. He smiled back.

“Looking forward to working with you” he said.

“Thank-you, Agent Palmer. The feeling is mutual”.

Chapter Four - The Ghost

#nick fowler x you #nick fowler x reader #nick fowler #the 355 #sebastian stan #under the radar fic

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hiddenwashington · 9 months ago

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** insert the yearly disclaimer that everything is fine and this is just maig being an absolute sap **

hi :)) somehow, by some miracle, we have made it around to yet another anniversary, and i can say with utter disbelief and overwhelming gratitude that hidden is now SIX YEARS OLD. i feel like a damn grandmother telling y’all a story here but, when i started this place in a 2am spite fueled, sleep deprived rage, and then hit the tags that same morning at nearly 5am, never once did i look at a main and think i’d be making a six year anniversary post. that we’d even stay open for that long, that this would grow to be… bigger than me, bigger than the team or hidden itself. hidden is a home to so many, a place where people can be themselves and find a community together, and that has everything to do with all of YOU.

the members who have been here for 6 days, or 6 years, those who have been here and poured their hearts out onto the dash, who have been here just to play a joke character.. the members who have come and gone, the members who are here now, all of you are the reason hidden is the way that it is. you all have created this incredible community with each other, that sometimes all i can do is just sit back and admire all of you. the way everyone has been so welcoming and warm to every new person who has joined, that you all have welcomed people in with open arms and genuinely like ?? no prompting from us ?? just from being yourselves. not only is this a home, a true real home in such a difficult world, but god the TALENT ??? i have never seen such amazing writing, or editing, the absolute joy you all have in writing your characters comes across so easily, the support you all have for each other. the events that we have, i don’t think could ever be pulled off with another group. i truly am sitting here just consistently in awe of all of you. i really could not do this without all of you here, you are the heart of hidden. the warmth in this place, the joy, the backbone, everything is you, friends. thank you for allowing me to be your head admin, allowing me to be utterly odd and strange and still loving me the way i love all of you, thank you for supporting this team, and this place. thank you for all the time and energy you put in here, and know that it does not go unnoticed. truly, just thank you.

and now, for 5 people’s absolute favorite time of the year, the moment when i gush like a proud mom about my admin team. please allow me to highlight these people, to lift them up for everything that they do, to show them the gratitude i truly hope they feel every other day of the year. sunny: gotta always start with you, my day one, the other half of my brain. i don’t know what i would do without you, genuinely. hidden would absolutely not be here today without you, without your support of me and my absolute batshit ramblings that i send in your dms, the way you have been able to look at a situation and calm it down with just one message.. for being the voice of reason that i need, for being the best friend i could ask for. finding each other wasn’t an accident and i’m so glad that i have gotten to know you through this weird fucking hobby and found so many more to share with you. also?? thank you for being there during my wedding, for keeping my head on straight that day. i love you so much. ♥ jodie, i just fucking love you fam, the absolute heart of the team. you are one of the kindest, most fiercely loving person i have ever met. if someone is struggling, i know you are right there to offer any kind of help you can (even if it's biting someone). you are always the one who i know will be there to have someone’s back, to support everyone when they need it. and i hope you know that that goes both ways. you are so loved on this team, thank you for all the research you do, thank you for taking all the marvel questions, for being the other teacher of my star wars school, for always laughing with me when we’re about to do something utterly ridiculous to get us yelled at. i am just so thankful for you, and i know i would’ve gone nuts if i didn’t have you here making me laugh. kasey, my player 2 (or i’m player 2?? idk), my bluetooth connected bitch. i swear people think us being the same person different fonts sometimes is a bit, and really it’s not. our shared braincell just doesn’t know how to function alone. thank you for always being there when i need to vent, for being able to offer a kind way of telling me to chill tf out, for being my platonic life partner. i know you hate the sappiness but i just need you to know that i couldn’t do this without you either. also a quick thank you for also being there during my wedding, for allowing me to be unapologetically myself and keeping me calm and laughing during all the insanity that was going on that week. just thank you. really, i love you so much, bitch, i won’t make you suffer with being loved on more.

aria, the actual owner of the braincell, the powerhouse of fc suggestions and research. your knowledge and ability to find suggestions and solutions to complex situations always has me in awe. i know when i see you typing in the chat, we’re going to get an answer, a solution or something new to consider that helps us fix whatever is going on. you truly are the reason things get solved around here. and also thank you for being the other face on the main, the way that you and ollie clear the inbox so fast always has me dumbfounded. and thank you for every check you have done, every moment you have spent here with us. i hope you know when i see little guys in shows, i always go “oh aria would love them”. your icons in the chat / your names always have me dying. you’re truly so fucking funny fam, the comments you make in dnd take me out. i just hope you know how loved and appreciated you are. thank you for being my friend, i love you a lot. and ollie, i don’t know what the fuck we would do without you. seriously, like only a year and a half in and you are ???? the reason the main gets cleared out most days. i don’t know how you do it, one moment it’s full and the next the entire mains cleared, the pages are updated, you and aria are working through their list of fixes and the entire check is done (INCLUDING MY PARTS :(( ). despite all of our teasing about changing the password on you, i hope you know that none of the work that you do EVER goes unappreciated. i also am just so glad that i have gotten to know you better over the past year and a half, that since you joined the team i am so glad that i get to call you my friend. also, i always know when i send a new frog, you’ll come in yelling about loving them and it always makes me smile. you’re so loved by me and the team. thank you for everything. okay, i’m done now.

i’m making myself stfu friends i promise. just, hidden you have no idea how utterly blessed we are to have these five as our admin team. i know i barely even know sometimes, because fuck i couldn’t do this without them. i just am so filled with love and appreciation for every single one of you, those who are here now, and those who may be lurking and have come and gone. know i love you all. and just THANK YOU. it is the greatest joy and blessing in my life to call myself your head admin. thank you for making hidden your home. here’s to SIX FUCKING YEARS and all the ones after it!

all the love always -- admin maig ♥♥

#admin maig #hidden6years #keep #i don't have a fun tag for this year i am not taking suggestions #and tumblr forced me into paragraph breaks send help #im so sorry this is so long i am just filled with so much love for this community #long post tw

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superconductivebean · 3 months ago

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#1215: uhhhh, julia-related

just after i yapped about my hogwarts inquiries project i had self-combusted into Strong Feelz about a scene that happens after the high keep mainquest (sharp was Very Not Happy about what julia and natty did for the exactly the same reasons matilda wouldn't be)

ok so that project is pivotal to the julia's story development because what essentially im doing is drawing the timeline of the canon events. i was only able to plot until the end of october. that second trial's date falls on oct 31st isnt really important here but events prior absolutely do

so far i was able to guess aka establish to myself that the excursion to Feldcroft occurs on oct 25th, 1890. it's saturday and it was this day's evening.

after mc and sebastian were teleported back to undercoft, it would be around dinner of the oct 25th, and at the same night they had astronomy class (so the High Keep quest takes place on the oct 26th).

for whatever reason, sebastian doesn't attend the class, and so doesn't natty.

tags for the delulu gang: @myokk @espressoristretto-patronum @theladyofshalott1989 @thriftstorebabayaga @catohphm @infernalrusalka

i suspect sebastian got his arse kicked given he's absolutely useless during the loyalist fight at the ruins of isidora's home. so he decided to skip the class (to then have ominis an earful about ancient magic thus pestering him about the scriptorium i suppose; remember: sebastian thinks of ancient magic —of an innate ability— as of an archaic form of wielding magic, not as of its own thing like being a seer or talking to snakes or being able to naturally morph like tonks).

but natty also doesnt attend the class. natty was sneaking away from hogwarts to get to the falbarton castle in time.

suffice it to say, by entering the class, mc was up since the morning (and on their way to feldcroft, raced imelda! if to add to this day's events another one), perhaps had lunch on the way to feldcroft, but then was out and about until midnight and likely skipped dinner.

then, professor shah urged everyone to go stargazing outside the class, in the surrounding wilderness.

which means outings aren't prohibited at night but may be limited.*

the student's right can be revoked by the headmistress, matilda weasley, if she suspects they'd get themselves in danger. it nearly happened —or happened, i forgot ;-; — to adelaide oaks when she expressed the concern about her uncle who's gone missing lately and wanted to search for him, alone. perhaps this is why both natty and fig advise mc not to tell a soul about what they're up to. or matilda will be like, uh huh huh

after the brief and permitted and absolutely encouraged stroll with amit ends, mc hurries to the falbarton castle hungry, tired and perhaps, very sleepy.

mc doesnt get to sleep the rest of the night though, as they and natty escaped harlow and returned to hogwarts by morn. crucial thing to note here: end of october means longer nights. when mc and natty are back, it wouldn't be around 4 or 5am. it will be around 7. hence natty noted people could see them through the windows; hogwarts would have had first breakfast goers by that time i think?

then, mc has fig to visit and sebastian's beef with ominis to sort out. sleep-deprived and unhinged, mc goes into scriptorium and gets arse roasted by crucio as if they weren't hit and tired enough the previous day lmao poor mc learns magic the most agonising of ways (and gets called Learning-The-Bare-Minimum by sharp anyway LMAO but honestly that man was able to swing the troll with an one hit too so He Has The Authority in this and his sharp criticism is rather warranted and im not sorry for that pun)

anyway, thought id share

#днявочка #eng tag #utlitd brainrot #damn wright

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palfriendpatine66 · 11 months ago

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Making of Monday

Taking you behind the scenes of your favorite fics and exploring the messy writing process with MoM

Today I bring you a deleted scene from Pining in Preschool. When I first started writing I had a hard time figuring out chapter length and ended up cutting a lot of extra fluff or filler that I didn’t think was “critical” to the main point of the chapter when I was nervous about it getting to long and/or meandering. It’s still sometimes hard for me to figure out what needs to be there and what doesn’t need to be seen. Do we need the details of going from point A to point B? What does the reader learn if the scene is there? What do we miss if it’s not?

A lot of scenes that I decided were “extra” in PiP were with Ahsoka, and if I were to write it now I would keep them in! Read the deleted scene from “The First Date Chapter” below the cut

***

Anakin has a complicated relationship with sleep, but waking up early is just not something he does. The only time he sees 5am is when he’s been awake for all the other AMs that come before it. Except today apparently. Today his eyes peel open as soon as the first signs of light dare creep through his curtain. Today is probably the only day he won’t be upset to be up so early. Today is his date with Obi-Wan.

He’s too keyed up to stay in bed and enjoy the quiet time, as rare as it is. He grabs the baby monitor to keep an eye out for the twins, who usually aren’t up before 8. He feels a stupid smile stretch across his face as he waits for his coffee to brew, glad Ahsoka isn’t around to see yet because she would never let him hear the end of it if she knew why. His coffee leaves him even more jittery than before, so he lets himself into the garage knowing that he’ll find calm in his work. He usually spends Saturdays when Ahsoka takes the kids working anyways, so putting in some time now is a good idea. As he concentrates on welding the parts of the chopper frame together he loses himself in the task, enjoying the peace that comes with his thoughts quieted and focused on building.

He’s jolted back to himself when his phone rings out an alarm. He packs up and a quick glance at the monitor shows him the kids are still asleep; he should have time for a quick rinse before they wake up. He doesn’t want to hear complaints that he “smells like burnt” all through breakfast. He walks softly past the kids room and hops into the shower.

As he relaxes into the warm water his mind starts to drift to later. He wonders what Obi-Wan has planned for their date day. His body starts to respond to the kinds of things he has in mind, when he hears pounding on the door.

“Dad! Dad, I need to pee,” Luke shouts through the door. Anakin sighs and turns the water cold.

Breakfast is the usual messy affair. Anakin is glad he had planned on a second, more thorough shower anyways because by the time they’re finished he has flour dusting his hair. Leia and Luke are happily frosting the cinnamon rolls in far more icing than strictly necessary and Anakin is starting a second cup of coffee when Ahsoka lets herself in. “Perfect timing as always. The hard work is nearly done,” Anakin teases as he slides her a mug.

Ahsoka eyes the mess in the kitchen and replies “I’m pretty sure the hard work will be the clean up, but I won’t be doing that either. Me and these monsters have plans.”

“Plans! What plans?” Sticky faces gleam in excitement.

“Finish eating – and wash up – and you’ll find out.” Ahsoka makes a face at the frosting covered excuse for breakfast piled in front of her and pulls a plate of bacon over instead. “What are you doing today Skyguy, shop with Rex?”

Anakin turns to wipe down the counter so she can’t see his blush. “No, not today. I’ll do some work here and then I’m going to get lunch with Obi-Wan.” He tries for casual. No big deal.

“Obi-Wan?” three voices question at once. Anakin looks back to catch the twins matching looks of surprise. Ahsoka has her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Obi-Wan? You’re going to see Obi-Wan? No fair!” Leia crosses her arms.

“Can we come too?” Luke pleads, opting for another tactic.

“You’re telling me you would rather watch two boring grown ups eat lunch than go with Auntie ‘Soka? I’ve seen Obi-Wan’s lunchbox, we’ll probably have a salad .”

“But I wanted to go to the children’s museum,” Ahsoka adds helpfully. The kids both gasp and begin shoveling their breakfast in their mouths as fast as they can. Anakin slides over a bowl of berries with a pointed look and tries to avoid meeting Ahsoka’s questioning eyes. She persists in questioning anyways. “So? Where did you meet this Obi-Wan?” Anakin braces himself; here it comes.

“You saw him too! On the last day of school remember?” Anakin looks up at the ceiling. Thanks Leia.

Ahsoka’s eyes widen and she laughs uncontrollably, slapping the counter in emphasis. “The teacher? The teacher! Oh Skyguy, only you, that’s too much!” Her eyes are watering and Anakin throws an orange at her head. He checks the time and starts wiping down sticky faces before shepherding the kids off to get dressed. Ahsoka is still beside herself, and when they’ve made it out of earshot upstairs she pounces. “You’ve been banging their silver fox of a teacher? Is that where you went that night?”

Anakin glares at her before turning back to the dishes. “He is not old and he doesn’t have any gray hair! It’s…coppery? Like it’s kind of brown and red but it looks almost blonde in the sun sometimes…” he muses as he scrubs. He drags his thoughts back and shoots another scowl over his shoulder. “And I wasn’t banging my kids teacher – I’m not a total creep! We went out for the first time that night, after the last day of school.”

“Oh, Skyguy. You’ve got it bad don’t you? Enjoy today with your coppery fox then – he might not be gray but he’s way older than you I’m sure you’ve noticed. Do you, uh, need any extra time for your activities today?” She waggles her eyebrows suggestively and ducks as Anakin throws the dish towel at her face.

“No, I’ll be back for dinner like normal please. And don’t be weird about it around them. They don’t know yet. I just started seeing him and I don’t want to freak them out.”

Ahsoka pats the air soothingly. “You don’t need to worry. No weird: very normal. I am the picture of discretion.”

“Shut up,” he mutters as footsteps thunder down the stairs. He checks that teeth have been brushed and smooths Leia’s braid. He kneels down and takes both of his children by the hand and looks seriously into their eyes.

“Troops, be good and have fun. You listen to Auntie ‘Soka and follow the rules. Hold her hands when you are walking, and stay where you can see her the whole time.” They wiggle with impatience having heard this many times but dutifully wait it out and recite both their father’s and aunt’s phone numbers when prompted. Anakin relents and squeezes them both tight over eye rolls. “Okay, okay have fun. I love you.”

[meanwhile Obi-Wan preps a charcuterie, anticipating the desire to hand feed Anakin and keep him in bed following their first fuck]

#making of Monday #MOM #fanfic writing #writing process #PiP #pining on preschool #my fics

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thessalian · 20 days ago

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Thess vs Hurdles and Challenges

Wow. Sometimes the world goes to lengths to give me a break. Though honestly, it's kind of backfiring because apparently the world doesn't know me very well.

See, I was debating calling out today. It was nearly 5am before I got any sleep because the stress and worry and ... well, everything ... caused pain flare and migraine. I woke up before my alarm, feeling a little bit better overall, but still kind of crap. Still, I know that we're struggling a little at work and I'm off all next week so I decided to take painkillers about it and carry on.

Apparently the Small God of IT had other ideas, because there is currently a hiccup with our patient records system and it's not letting me log in. I've spoken to IT and this is not a me-problem; this is an IT problem and while they are working on it, they have no idea when it's getting fixed. Though I have to say, IT was a little stunned when I got on the phone to them and they started the, "Have you refreshed the browser?" thing and I went, "Refreshed the browser, restarted the browser, cleared the cache, restarted the entire computer, everything. Nothing worked". I get why they had to go through all that, but I kind of wish they'd looked at their notes before running me through the "A statistically significant percentage of end users are ignorant of anything beyond 'press button to do thing'" spiel. We could have skipped a whole part of the interaction that way.

Anyway, so I'm sitting here, wiggling my work mouse every so often and keeping an eye on my email client, and honestly getting shit all done. I could check the typing queue, at least, and that honestly isn't too bad right now ... though it's about to get worse because Goblin's going out to an appointment and may or may not be back today. (I hope she's okay.) The thing I said about the world not knowing me very well is ... well. I could probably take it easier, not worry so much about immediately knowing when I can get to work, maybe even say, "Maybe this is for the best because I feel horrible and could use a sick day" ... but I can't stand being forced to not do things. I get nervous when IT things are going wrong, because what if it's a huge problem that won't get fixed for days? I need to know when it's fixed, so I'm going to keep trying. Plus, if I'm honest, I am an ornery so-and-so and I only get more determined when faced with a set of hurdles between myself and a task - whether I need to do it or I just want to, I want to know I can.

On that subject, Veilguard. I woke up nearly an hour before my alarm, which means I'm running on maybe four and a half hours' sleep right now. But I figured since I was up, I'd check in on Veilguard. Now, it would have been nice if someone had warned me how long it takes to configure shader settings, but never mind - my early wake-up meant I still had some time to poke at things. From the looks of things, I can play it, at least in early stages. I might want to look at whatever invincibility mode the thing has, and will be careful to not stand near any cliffs just in case, but I've been making it through the prologue without too much issue. It helps that this isn't my "real" playthrough yet, mostly because between compiling shaders and figuring out the character creation thing, I didn't get that much time to actually play. On short acquaintance, though, I think the issue is mostly the visual noise, so to speak. So much is happening on the screen that it's hard to know what you're supposed to be focused on at any give moment. I'll probably get used to it. I'm not going to be seeking a refund, anyway - which is good because I barely have time to do so. If games are going to spend over half an hour configuring shader settings at launch, Steam needs to be more generous with its return policies.

So ... yeah. Today's been me dealing with the hurdles technology sets. Not entirely winning, but coping. I'll have another try at restarting my work browser just to see, and then find something to do. I mean, maybe I could even get through the Veilguard prologue on this practice character. (I don't even remember what I named them; that's how tired I am.)

#Thess has a day job #Thess plays video games #Thess liveblogs DA: Veilguard #dragon age veilguard spoilers

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quinloki · 8 months ago

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Quin

Quin help

I had this open in my tabs and I was cleaning them out

ITS 5AM FOR ME I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT INSTEAD I AM THINKING ABOUT THE SIZE DIFFERENCE

I just want either of them to toss me over their shoulder and manhandle me as they please

Or both

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Marco's nearly 6'9" and you know he's strong in a "not just the devil fruit" sort of way, but because of his DF I think it keeps him on the lither side. More ballet less line-backer.

But Thatch is definitely more the line backer build. Or whatever sports position it is that needs to be big and dexterous at the same time. Barrel-chested hot bastard, it's not fair

and he's TALLER than Marco, maybe not by much, maybe just 7', or 7'2" (I knew a guy who was like 7'6" 7'7" so we're not out of the realm of possibilities)

And yeah. Yeah. Look I mean, for most OP guys you're going to be the smaller one no matter what - sure sure with a few exceptions, cause off the top of my head, Zoro, Law, Sanji, Ace and Sabo are all between like 5'11"-6'2" - if you're 5'00" like me they're still tall, but if you're 5'7"-5'10" there's no too much of a difference there.

But even if you're 6'2" like Law, Thatch will make you feel small. Not like, in a bad way, but he's broad shouldered and still a foot taller. (Of course if you're really gunning for the size difference, this is the world of one piece with Crocodile, Doffy, Rosi, Katakuri, etc etc etc Hell, even Jinbei out here carrying Nami around like a doll).

but I digress

cause I had to.

Cause the idea of being between them...

#quin answers #kazieai

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gutwrenchflowerbomb · 6 months ago

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This post is just me sort of rambling about the thoughts surrounding my new job so feel free to scroll past.

New workspace. This machine was installed a few weeks ago and a few of use were trained in it but I am the primary operator. They haven’t installed my work table yet so I’ve been using that cart. I’m two months into the drastic change in careers and it’s been strange - not just the obvious difference in what I’m actually doing but the shift as well. I don’t have weird start and ends times that change daily. But my set shift begins at 5am, meaning that I’m waking up at 3:30am. That’s the middle of the witching hour. I keep expecting to sit up and see some kind of demon ghost thing looking shocked like “the fuck you doing awake?”

But I’m less stressed, I think. I miss my clients dearly but now I no longer have to be responsible for the lives of 12 people. I can actually focus on myself. And the fact that I can do this job while wearing headphones has allowed me to catch up on podcasts and shit I’d long abandoned due to lack of time/energy. I’ve even made it a goal to listen to at least one new album a day from an artist I like but only know a song or two. I have 10 hours a day to fill so it’s not that hard to do. (I’m open to suggestions btw so if you have a fav band/album you think more people should hear, let me know! I don’t really *hate* any genre, except 90% of the new bro country shit)

My medical insurance kicks in on July 1st, so I can finally go to the doctor and dentist. They’ve had some overtime available that I’ve taken advantage of, and will continue to do so as long as it’s there. Mostly because I need all the money I can get and also - I don’t mind the work. It feels good to be physically doing stuff. I’m not like, building houses or anything but there I’m for sure getting more movement than I was previously. The ONLY downside so far of this job is that it’s very hard to regulate the temperature. I’ve had to buy my own fan to bring in and honestly I’m about to get a second one so I can have it blowing on my from both sides. Ya girl STAYS hot.

I’ve been staying with my mom and it’s been rough. We don’t have the most loving relationship, she gets on my goddamn nerves but I try not to get to frustrated with her because it will only make things worse. Maybe one day I’ll write some essays about it, as my upbringing with her was anything but “normal” but I digress.

The most challenging thing has been the lack of *silence* in the house. Before, I had my roommates. Ut they were hardly home when I was and then they had their room upstairs. We never really got in each others space. Here, that’s not possible. I’m literally sleeping on a twin bed that’s been set up in the dining room since it’s a tiny 750sq ft one bedroom house. And my mom nor Mo work, so they NEVER LEAVE. And neither of them have much variety in the food they eat so I’ve had to adapt to eating much of the same bland poor southern shit I grew up with. Which is good occasionally but man. I can’t wait to have my own kitchen again and cook some Indian food. Or Mediterranean.

My goal is to have my own place by the first of August. Thats plenty of time to have the money for the first few months plus deposit. The biggest issue is not knowing what’s gonna be on the market. Rent, while not nearly as high as places like Chicago and Austin and huge cities like that, it’s still unreasonable for a single income person. Especially when that income is just under 40k a year, pre tax.

Anyway, my hope is that once I get moved into my own place I can finally have the energy and focus to do more creative shit. I have TONS of ideas written down but with no space to do any of them, it’s been depressing. I’ve got buttons and magnets and silly shit all in my big ass head. And not all of it is wrestling related.

Alright I’m gonna stop now. But yeah if anyone read all this I apologize haha. It’s not my usual shit of making jokes about AEW and posting too many pics of Chuck Taylor and Orange Cassidy.

#personal #about me #work stuff

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faithfromanewperspective · 1 year ago

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Religious hurt, ministry burnout and all in between set to 5sos5 // Prologue: You don’t go to parties

I realise this is a rather strange thing to do, what I’m doing. I realise most listeners to songs don’t apply them to the things that I do. But I went through a lot, and this album is like none I’ve heard before: it celebrates and laments and everything in between the power of simple human connection and I won’t lie: it changed my life. It gave me back the pieces and tools to take my life back from a rogue machine of parts that was sucking me dry yet I couldn’t find head or tail of nor differentiate it from the hand that was feeding me, keeping me alive. In some ways, I owe it nothing: the $19.99 I fully paid on my debit card to iTunes that probably gave the four dear humans who created this album maybe a dollar each. In some ways I owe it everything. And so this letter is for you, the strange conglomeration of fandom and random humans I’ve connected to and who don’t know my face or my real name but I enjoy baring my whole heart to. It’s the mark of an artist I suppose. It’s the early symptoms of the fever dreams that allow practical neighbours with my childhood to come up with the visceral imagery that makes up these masterpieces: four voices, and a handful of instruments. I don’t have something nearly as brand-new and original, but this is my voice. And this is how YDGTP gave back my life.

Picture this: it’s 5am. Somewhere, certainly not where I am, but it might as well be when I’m far too tired for 10, 11pm when I’m barely over 20. I’m feeling stuck, overwhelmed, unable to go home, clock off, head to bed. I’d say I’m on my couch but that’s an optimistic statement to assume I have the ability to make it to something soft to lay down my head. I don’t even own a couch.

I’m supposedly somewhere that’s home to me, but if I had any sense in my head I’d kick me out. Out to where? I have no idea.

I wouldn’t even admit it to myself then, but I knew somewhere that I was happiest when I got up before the sun. 5am, after seven to eight hours of sleep. Maybe more, when I’m so tired and drained. In the early hours of the morning (and I feel like I’m betraying this song by saying it) before the world has risen with its expectations, if I can get my life together then, I’m prepared for when I have to interact and feel their energy. I’m also prepared to get my needs met, which they obviously aren’t, or I wouldn’t still be here now.

How am I feeling? Don’t get me started on that. I’m starving, empty, longing for something I haven’t felt satiated in for quite a while. Longing for a bygone time that wasn’t any good, because if I could go back now I could do better with the information I have now. And yet, the world is moving past, the people from that era drifting further and further away. Whatever it is I’m holding my breath for, is starting to feel like I’m waiting at an intersection where the gaps between the cars are getting smaller and smaller and each time I see one I could maybe go in I don’t. I wish I had gone in the previous one, because it was much safer compared to this. That’s basically what my life’s like. I’ve got the last five years running out my mouth. Won’t you relive it with me? Won’t you fix them with me?

Because I still think about the times we were heavy. It sucked, but at least there was connection, something that I’ve run completely dry on now. Racehorse tripping on the dirt that you’ve got on me. I never felt included, loved, but sometimes being insulted is just as good as it means I’m part of the gang. They don’t do that anymore: is it because I’m too fragile now, or because they’ve moved on from me? Vulture circling above of what’s left of me. Because I’m a carcass in the hot sun, at least that’s how I feel. Slowly, not slowly at all actually, rotting.

We go stupid every night, and it was meant to be fun. But.

What a tragedy. Because I’m still here in the darkness, back where we started. It set everyone else up to move on, why can’t I? Everyone else goes home and goes to bed and doesn’t suffer the consequences of the night disabling them forever, going back to the start again and again and re-living it and changing what they’d do because I know better now than I did then, time ticking by me and getting more and more behind. I can’t help the fact that I’m behaving the way that I am.

You make me a heartless monster.

So set this to a fun beat and go dance. Everyone I ever knew is standing in my house. (Are they real, or are they ghosts of people I feel like I failed, when I was never given the resources to be everything they needed?) Maybe I’ll be alright, maybe I’ll be able to put together whatever makes me feel better, maybe, maybe, I said as I invited them, filling up my heart again and again with relational one-night stands and superficial connection just to feel the high for a little while, it’s kept me going for decades. Kept me moving so I can forget that I had it the way I liked it once and I never appreciated it, I didn’t know that I had to. I didn’t know how much it meant until I lost it. I thought I was just fielding distractions, fatal attractions, but maybe the only attraction that was fatal was the one to the world of ableism and the solutions that they said worked for them when I know I need more connection than this superficial world, even one that says they worship something else, lives for something more, can offer. I wonder who I’m looking for.

But you got out. You don’t go to parties anymore.

It’s easier to get manic than depressed sometimes, maybe because I’m already depressed and I learned from young to act like I’m not feeling it. To think of others, think of ways I can help, prioritise hope and isn’t this what I’m doing here? Working towards solutions, why oh why did it go so badly? So I focus on the ideas, I let them stack up in my brain like a tap that’s running at full blast into a tiny plastic cup and when it drowns me just for a little while I get high and life is exciting and come up with good ideas of the world I imagine could be where I’m not alone, up in the clouds I’m not the only one dreaming of this dream. All my friends are up on mars. We’ve been travelling. It’s such a simple explanation and so exciting and it’s exactly how I should be feeling when I’m pouring myself out into something I care so much about, something centred on helping people, as if in a divinely inspired book we have all the solutions for all the world when we read it through a lens of science and adaptive management that constantly re-evaluates the fruits of what we’re doing and doesn’t let silly traditions that sap our energy get in our way. Shoot for mars. Why, oh why, does no one else stand with me here? Why am I still longing for that kind of teamwork, belonging, purpose?

So I lost my limit. It’s hard to find it when I’m so perpetually starved for the thing I need, that I try to make sure everyone around me gets. I’m dumb and I’m passionate. I care. And what’s the sacrifice of one person in the scheme of things? It’s not an accident. I was the one who took my foot up off the brake. Another lonely night.

It’s easier to put a smile on my face and go through the motions to this happy beat, yearning, pouring out the passion and love I wish I received on others.

Fill it with the best country drum solo I ever heard.

And remember where I am. Longing for connection. Where are you? Where is the one who I’m looking for?

But I know. You don’t go to parties anymore.

And that’s why I need to leave.

#personal mental health tag #burnout #ministry burnout #bipolar awareness #ydgtp #you don't go to parties #5 seconds of summer #5sos5 #if you're here because of the 5sos tags try not be too weirded out #i kinda can't believe i did this but it's a whole thing. more to come #youth ministry is actually just a party #that is built to be supportive #until you're giving of yourself i guess and that was me

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jmflowers · 2 years ago

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Week of shoots

“Day 5” I managed to sleep on and off until about 2pm, so I felt much better heading into night two of the shoot. I had to pick people up downtown again, which was an hour drive from my place in Saturday traffic, so I left at about 3pm. Managed to get everyone to location for the 5pm call time.

Almost immediately, I was sent off on driving duties to pick up a few things, and then to grab one of the actors from a train station. By the time I was back, most of the set was dressed and lighting was nearly done, so shooting started shortly after.

The first half of the night felt painful, though. Imagine that phrase “too many cooks in the kitchen” but it’s a film set and they’re directors. No one had a clear vision and it just made for confusion, which had all of the actors antsy - especially the child actor whose first ever night shoot this was. We were aiming for lunch at 11pm, but at about 10:45pm they sent the actors back to holding to warm up and the creative team all stepped outside to argue “in private”. The rest of us who were not vital unless they were rolling slipped downstairs to holding and just hung out for the longest lunch I’ve ever been part of on a set - it was after midnight before we jumped back in. And, of course, the child actor had fallen asleep in the car during that time and we had to wake her back up.

So, there was the production at like 1am - all of us standing around in an abandoned convenience store, eating expired junk food and breathing in a ton of dust, watching as an 8 year old was being coaxed awake for a scene as she cried, “I don’t want to be here, I just want to go home.” And then her mom found packs of slime on the shelf, offered her one, and kiddo woke right back up to kill every. single. take. During a fight sequence, might I add. We had to wrap her by 4am, so her death scene coverage was shot and she was out of there by 3:45am.

Crazy.

There wasn’t much to do technically between takes and the DP only needed a spotter for camera movements a couple of times (one of which included me shoved back beside a bookcase, trying to hide from being in the shot when she whipped around), so I spent most of the time catering to the actors. It was cold in the building, since the heat wasn’t on, so I took their coats every time we were about to roll and then slipped them back on them each time we cut and reset to a new shot. Thank goodness I still had my set blankets in my car from my own shoots earlier in the week, as one of them ended up being best for wrapping up our child actor like a burrito without needing to care about if it was getting fake blood on it. One of the actors ended up hugging me goodbye before she left and they both thanked me profusely for taking care of them, which felt good. I think that’s the part of set I enjoy the most - just being able to help people. There’s such a humanness to watching someone perform at the top of their abilities in a setting like that and then to see them turn around and find comfort in a jacket or a bottle of water or a joke. It’s fun to be part of that, whether it’s with actors or creators.

We wrapped officially at about 5am and headed out shortly after putting everything away that we’d made a mess of. Said goodbyes to everyone - including the audio recordist that I’d worked with on another shoot last spring. I had to drive 4 people home, so we headed back into the city and I got everyone to their doorsteps before heading back to my own city. Pulled into my drive shortly before 7am and promptly showered off a lot of dirt before crashing into bed.

Day 6 was all about sleeping, for the most part, and just getting myself back off the nocturnal schedule. Slept until about 4:30pm, ate, went for a walk, watched a livestream concert, and was back in bed by about 10pm (trying to convince myself that I didn’t need to stay up all night again). Back to regular life and 8am classes the morning after, because that’s the way it goes.

All in all, I had a blast. It feels like hanging with friends when it’s a small crew and a lower budget. We talk about life and make jokes and mix up weird food concoctions in the middle of the night (like an oat milk and expired Kit Kat “hot chocolate” I tried to make in the microwave to warm up…). Mostly it’s all about eating Welch’s fruit snacks and making a movie. Can’t wait to see the finished product.

#film and television production life #and that’s a wrap on the week #time to dive back into post production at school #first night the joke was that I was there to supply pockets and rides #because of my PA cargo pants #second night the joke was that I was vying for MVPA status

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