#it’s my cousin’s grad party
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disrespectfully i’ve elected to go feral. i have rabies i am frothing at the mouth. caution: this dog cannot discern family from foe
#if i get called niece one more time i’m gonna lose it#but i can’t do anything abt it!#it’s my cousin’s grad party#and i won’t take the spotlight from her#but holy SHIT#we’re only five minutes in and i want to Perish
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i have to go to confession today.
#fuck.#catholic things#idk how that's gonna work into what we've already got going on but it must#my little cousins are over#my mom's got to go help her friend at a grad party#my brother's going to be at work#im going to have to bike ik but that's fine we live pretty close to church#BUT confessions are only from uuuh 3:30-4:15pm#so i have to leave probably around 3:00 or so#hrgh#right in the overlap of my mom doing a thing and my brother doing a thing and my sisters and cousins doing things with my dad probably#i make mistakes and i make them all the time
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I fought like hell to be this boring leave me alone.
#I used to be interesting when I wanted to kill myself#I’m aware I used to go to house shows and concerts and eat interesting food#i used to dress cool too.#I was trying really hard to make life worth living#and now#im really into responsible finance and reading and film photography and antiquing#fucking love antiquing (it makes me feel closer to my dead cousins. becuase that makes for good conversation)#and I eat lame ass meals becuase I am trying really fucking hard to recover from my eating disorder#I’m in grad school and that’s kinda all I have going on at the moment#and I’m so fucking happy you have no idea#I’m really into marvel again#idk when I fell out with marvel. but it seems like it was about 2.5 years ago. and that checks out#I’m me again#and being me again is boring#and im so sorry to disappoint straight boy#but I like being alive now and I don’t care if I’m not fun at parties
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i need to get forcemasced into not letting myself get pressured into wearing dresses and makeup for every formal event when i would rather be in shorts and a polo or something
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lights up sneak peek
#moving a lil slow w this update. sorry#been a little busy this week bc my cousin is having her grad party tmrw#azzy.txt#lights up au
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hii mommy!!! hope you're doing well and staying hydrated hehe. ams thinking about maybe trying a lip scrub from Lush, i never had a lip scrub before but it seems like it'd be nice. :3
random thought but you kinda give me lilac/lavender vibes -shy
hii cutie!! are you trying to get kissed?? because this will def get you kissed!! MWAH MWAH MWAH 💋🪻
#love letters only#💌 asks#asks#you are so sweet <3#my cousin i told you about who used to work at lush came to my grad party which was so emotional because they hadn't seen family in years#and i got lush bath bombs as a grad present 🥺#i honestly got very little good grad pics >:( but I was really trying to lean in to the purples if you want to see!#shy anon
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I do not feel well nor do I feel rested but it is time for ice skating class and I am trying to get pumped fast 🤪
#I fell asleep with WET hair and I kep and waking up in major discomfort#and I am severely congested with throat pain#but also I feel a UTI coming if I dont flush it out with water immediately#I work from 12-12 today😭 except for the hour break to go to my cousins grad party
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Trying so hard to not be stressed about money haha 🤪
#transferred a couple hundred from my savings bc I was getting low and I still have to pay so much in gas this month#btw going to my cousins grad party this weekend that is three hours away#and then driving to cinci the following weekend#it’s fine#I’ll be fine ultimately#I’m not ready for classes to start again but I am ready for my next check in august from my loans
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Margot Robbie and Sebastian Stan attend The Grammy’s After Party
@margseliserobbie
#hollywoodfameoutfits#hfrpgrammys2023#pics#robstan#posting early cause i have my cousins grad party tn
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#actually i am really sick of my family for making me feel like ‘being liberal’ Or Whatever is my only personal trait#because like i used to voice opinions on things until they made me feel bad/crazy for it#but now when they whip out the most batshit insane take on something & i’m just like ‘um i dunno…but to each their own’#& they still act like i’m crazy i’m so 💀#like my only cousin who’s into p/j/o was talking about how the new book (& while he ‘doesn’t care’ that Nico’s gay it—#‘came out of nowhere’ 🙄) the new book is written by two authors—one of them being a gay man because Richard wanted the input—#because he didn’t feel qualified to write it as a straight man or something idk#but my cousin. said. that if a straight man ‘can’t’ write a gay story then a woman can’t write a man’s story & vice versa#which. oh my god no#for one thing i do think anyone can write any story even/especially if it’s out of their depth but they should absolutely reach out—#if they want firsthand accounts of experiences like what it’s like to be gay etc#but also. of course a woman can write a man & vice versa what kind of take even is that? like yeah some people do it really weird—#(‘she boobed breastily down the stairs’)#but that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t be allowed if anything people should learn about the experiences of others#in general his takes of ‘i don’t Care i just wish it wasn’t Every Character that’s not how it Used To Be’#like 1.) if richard wrote lgbtq/poc main characters in 2005 he probably wouldn’t have sold many books#and 2.) it’s Greek mythology. you get what you sign up for#anyways yeah i’m really quiet at family functions but even when i just quietly disagree i’m made to feel really bad about it#& the next function is literally my grad party like next week ://#but after that there shouldn’t be anything for a while#rose.txt#tw vent
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what do you even buy a 21 year old boy for a graduation gift
#it’s my cousins grad party next week and we need to sort out a gift but i hate buying for men#like what even is there#esp bc i don’t really know what he enjoys besides football and im not getting anything football related
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while i do not like my job, holy shit i am so glad that i finally have a plausible excuse to get out of my extended family's yearly gatherings
#usually the cousins on one side of my family have a gathering over the summer and i do not like them lol#not that i dislike my cousins but these trips are way too overwhelming for me#i have a LOT of cousins#the gatherings are usually centered around someone graduating#last year was at my house! cause i graduated#during my actual grad party i spent a lot of it hiding in my room and crying#then had to go out and pretend like i was happy :)#10/10 experience fr fr#i'll never forget when my dad told me that i HAD to make a sacrifice and go on a family trip over thanksgiving (i was v sick)#(a couple days prior i had been vomiting multiple times per hour and could not keep a single thing down)#(by then i had stopped throwing up but i could barely speak)#anyway he was pissed at me because a: i refused to go and be miserable + infect my relatives. and b: because i wouldn't MAKe a sacRIFiCe#mentally#of course that's not visible#and i doubt my family would care if i told them#but it's wild how they didn't even understand that when it had to do with PHYSICAL ILLNESS
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oh nooo the numbness of the day is going away and i am being crushed under the weight of my own depression
#i was supposed to go to my cousins grad party today and i just. couldn’t#i didn’t want people to see me bc i’ve gained a lot of weight and i feel like shit about myself so i just keep wearing baggy clothes but#it’s too hot to do that in a setting like that and thought of everyone seeing me makes me want to die#and now i’m crying on my back porch bc i’m so scared i’ll never be happy and that i’ll have to resort to books for like pseudo happiness#for the rest of my life and that is no fucking way to live#i’m just so tired
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Tired as hellllll
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working the next 5 days in a row 🤣 but friday and saturday are shorter shifts 🙏🏻
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Grow Up, Would You? [Josh Washington]
“I don’t know if you’ve changed any since middle school but I really hope you’ve learned the difference between pranking somebody and just being a fucking bully.”
You can also find this story on Ao3!
Prologue / Chapter One / Chapter Two
[Italicized chapters are sort of like,, flash backs? Stuff in the past, whatever.]
[CHAPTER ONE]
I’d never been one for parties.
Yet there I stood, staring up at the house of the address I was given, the windows flashing a multitude of colors as the muffled music blared. People were scattered around the front lawn, holding their drinks and talking happily amongst themselves as laughter filled the cool night air. I felt a sense of midding as I slowly made my way to the front door, a small smile formed on my face.
I opened the front door to be met with the loud, hot air of the party. It wasn’t packed, but it was close. Immediately I started looking around for the one who invited me, gently pushing my way through the groups of people. There were faces I recognized, and ones I didn’t. I hadn’t seen anyone in the area since I’d changed schools years prior. But none of them were who I was searching for. Until finally, I saw him.
He was tall, with blonde hair and blue eyes behind a pair of thick black rectangular glasses. He wore a dark green sweater that fit his broad shoulders snugly and blue jeans. I especially knew it was him when I spotted his hiking shoes.
Who wears hiking shoes to a party?
“Chris!” I called. M y cousin, Christopher Hartley, leaning up against the wall and talking to a girl with red hair. He turned to me and smiled.
“Jordan! I didn’t think you’d show,” he said. He took a step towards me and pull ed me into a tight, familiar hug. Chris took a step back as if to get a better look at me. “You look great!”
“Yeah, well, y’know,” I grinned. I tucked a hair behind my ear. It was Chris’s friend group’s graduation party, and it was a big one. A smaller celebration had been held prior by the adults for Chris , a nice outdoor barbecue with baby photos tacked onto the walls and various cork boards. But once that was over and everyone had left, Chris begged me to go with him to a much larger, run by the teens grad party the next week.
“Let me introduce you to my friends!” Chris was practically yelling into my ear to be heard over the blasting music.
“Uhm, no! I’m good, actually, I’ve met your friends!” I’ d met his friends. Mean girls, meat-heads, and -
“C’mon, Jordan, please! You haven’t seen them in like 4 years, they’re totally new people now!” Chris insisted. He grabbed my wrist and began to pull me back towards the red-haired girl. I recognized her then.
“Hi, Ashley,” I waved meekly.
Ashley Brown. Despite the people she surrounded herself with, Ashley seemed like a nice girl. She had red shoulder length hair and hazel eyes under thin eyebrows. Her makeup was subtle and suited her well. She was a very conventionally pretty girl and one that Chris had a huge crush on. Even back in elementary school I remembered seeing her and Chris, nervously sitting together at lunch. Their crushes on each other were so obviously mutual it was sickening to know they were both oblivious to the other’s feelings.
“Hey, Jordan.” Ashley smiled sweetly and waved back at me before glancing back at Chris with a look that screamed “get me out of this.” I decided to get her out of the situation myself while escaping the prospects of having to re meet Chris’s friends. As far as I knew, the group was entirely made up of the same people as it was when I’d changed schools 4 years prior. “Actually Chris, I’m going to go…” I paused. “To the bathroom.”
“But you just got here,” Chris’s face dropped. He knew me well enough to know I was just making an excuse.
“I drink a lot of water, and -”
“Jordan. Don’t ditch me,” Chris said. “Please.” At that moment I despised him for being a sweetheart. I couldn’t say no to Chris, no matter how much I’d wanted to.
Chris spent the next hour or so introducing me to his posse. Just as I’d suspected, it was exactly the same as it had been previously. Emily Davis, Jessica Riley, Matthew Taylor, Michael Monroe, Samantha Giddings, and Hannah and Beth Washington. I noticed there was one missing, but I didn’t dare ask in fear of reminding Chris of th at final person.
“ Sam seems nice,” I commented. “She’s probably my favorite out of everybody that you’ve introduced me to.” And I wasn’t lying. Sam stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the people she ran with. She was active, vegan – not passive-aggressive.
“Yeah, Sam’s great. Hey, I’m going to grab a drink. Do you want something?”
“A water bottle?” Chris gave me a look.
“Really?” I nodded and he left to go get the beverages, leaving me by myself near a fireplace. I took a moment to really look around at the house I was in. It was large, just short of a mansion, and old. The architecture was somewhat gothic.
“ BOO!” I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sudden scare. Someone had grabbed my shoulders hard as they shouted into my ear. I knew immediately who it was, and I was as far from happy as someone could have ever possibly been. I heard a familiar laughter as I turned around to face him, taking deep and steady breaths.
“Joshua Washington,” I said blankly. “Still fail to grow up?” Josh’s smile fades.
“Whatever your name is,” Josh repeated my tone. I couldn’t tell whether or not he had actually forgotten my name or didn’t care to use It. “Still can’t take a joke?”
“Guess not,” I shrugged. Josh stared at me, his shit-eating grin slowly returning to his face. “Or maybe you should come up with some new jokes. ‘Boo’? So last year.” I held eye contact with Joshua for what felt like an hour.
“An oldie but a goodie.” Josh’s brow twitches in frustration. He still held onto his smile but I could tell it was a struggle.
“Not a goodie if nobody fucking likes it.”
“I like it.”
“Hey, Josh! I see you’ve re-met Jordan!” Chris chimed in. Whether he knew we were about to start fighting or not was a mystery, but I was grateful for the interruption nonetheless.
“ Right, Jordan, that’s what it was,” Josh said. “I didn’t remember her at all other than the amount of crying she did.”
“The amount of crying you made me do.”
“All in good fun.”
“You tried to get pig’s blood to ‘Carrie’ me.”
“Like I said, just jokes.” Chris finally interjected.
“C’mon, Jordan, he didn’t mean anything by -” I hold my hand up to stop Chris there.
“I’m not doing this. You were in on a lot of those, Chris, you know how they hurt me.” I didn’t expect him to be on Josh’s side, but then again it wasn’t that surprising considering the amount of torture he helped exact. Chris looked down at the floor in defeat. I turn to Josh.
“I don’t know if you’ve changed any since middle school but I really hope you’ve learned the difference between pranking somebody and just being a fucking bully.” I huffed at him. I could barely see him under all of the lights but I managed to catch a glimpse of expression other than snark. For half of a second I could’ve sworn it was remorse.
It didn’t last.
“ Well. I’m not a bully, so… whatever.” Josh turned around and walked away, leaving Chris and I. I was shocked to look at Chris and see him glaring at me.
“Did you have to do that?” He asked. I raise my eyebrows in surprise.
“Do what?”
“Start a fight, just like that?” I could feel my heart sink.
“Chris, no, I didn’t -”
“Why can’t you just get over it already?” I could smell the booze on Chris’s breath. I knew he was drunk, he didn’t mean it. He couldn’t. He watched me cry enough growing up to know what kind of effects Joshua Washington had on me and my mental health. I chose to say nothing, my eyes full of tears threatening to spill over. My throat felt tight, and I knew if I said a word, all eyes would be on me as I cried in the middle of the room. So I just shake my head and shrug. I took my water bottle and headed out onto the back porch of the house – where Hannah and Beth Washington happened to be.
They noticed right away that my expression was negative. Something I’d apparently forgotten was how different from their brother the twins were, as they came to me immediately.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” Hannah asked as she took my hands into her own. I swallowed.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” I sighed, looking over the balcony and into the woods.
“Was it Josh?” Beth asked. My eyes flickered to hers. My silence was all the answer that she’d needed. “He’s an ass, for sure. But he’s not as bad as he makes himself out to be. When it comes to you we don’t know what’s wrong with him.” I’m surprised at what Beth was saying. “Have you heard that dumb stuff about ‘he’s only making fun of you because he likes you’ from, like, grade school? I think it’s like that.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at that. The twins ignore the obvious attitude and continued to chat with me. There was absolutely no way Joshua harbored any feelings for me other than disdain, and there was no way in HELL that it could have ever been romantic.
“Girl, don’t worry. You can hang with us.” Hannah grinned at me as she hopped excitedly. “He’ll leave you alone if we tell him to, or whatever.” I smiled at the girls. Just as I had with Chris, I could smell the booze on them and could only assume this kindness and promise of friendship was temporary. Once they were sober, they wouldn’t remember this at all. And if they did, I was sure they would regret it.
“Sure, that would be nice,” I admitted. Even if it’s just for the night, I would never complain about having friends – even if they were related to my sworn enemy.
“Great! Give me your phone!” Hannah insisted. I did as she’d asked, and next thing I knew I had their contact information. “We’ll hang out after tonight, we promise.” I nodded. I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t hoped it would happen, that these two would somehow integrate me into their lives.
It was severely unfortunate that it didn’t last long.
#until dawn#until dawn x reader#josh washington x you#josh washington x reader#josh washington#joshua washington#enemies to lovers#enemies to friends to lovers#this is an x reader just didn't want to write “y/n” a lot
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