#it’s like his character is taking a downwards spiral

[melonisopod]

Heathcliff is Hareton (and why that's great)

I kind of like that Heathcliff in Limbus takes a few cues from Hareton and personality-wise has a bit more in common with Hareton than his book counterpart (at least as an adult). The back half of Wuthering Heights kind of sours me cause you have a narrative on how years of abuse turned Heathcliff into the monster he is but after a point he objectively crosses the line so far that he ends up doing far worse than his abusers ever did to him, and continues to keep doing worse. And the solution is...a white child from the Earnshaw bloodline is able to break free of Heathcliff's abuse where Heathcliff was not. And Heathcliff's own mixed-race son is a sniveling coward who only pretends to be nice to gain access to the Earnshaw's estate.

Heathcliff in the book isn't allowed to be free of the abuse, or rather, he chooses to become far worse than his own abusers. In the book, the non-white characters end up being the most monstrous and in a way, proving the Earnshaws right. Hareton, who was raised to be crass and uncultured, manages to free himself and by extension the Earnshaws/Lintons from the "curse" that is Heathcliff's influence, while Linton Heathcliff is not, and that *really* rubbed me the wrong way.

Now in Limbus Company, they can't really cover two generations' worth of story in the span of one chapter and instead opt for multiverse shenanigans, so "our" Heathcliff and Catherine take a few cues from the book's second generation. Heathcliff is compared to Hindley, both of them clinging to their childhood traumas and spiraling downward into Distortion, but Heathcliff was able bounce back and not let that trauma and abuse define him. Erlking pretends to be his friend only to later turn on him and drive him into Distorting the same way the older Heathcliff influences Hareton to behave as a crass and uncultured low-life while gaining his trust. In the end, it's Heathcliff and Catherine who are able to break the cycle of misery that kept them apart in every other timeline, just like Hareton and Cathy 2 break the cycle of generational abuse and fall in love. Heathcliff, like Hareton, is able to better himself while Erlking is dead set on remaining an embittered phantom of vengeance against the Earnshaws.

(As an aside, Linton Edgar melts himself down to form a new vessel for Erlking to take over in our world...in other words, he becomes Linton Heathcliff!)

So, while Canto 6 was far from perfect, it "fixed" for me a more glaring problem the book had with portraying a man of color victimized by racism, where instead of turning him into an abuser himself (while the white child he tries to groom into a fellow abuser ends up breaking free) Limbus lets the man of color victimized by racism break free off that abuse, not let it define him, and gain a support system. Limbus' Heathcliff is allowed to heal in ways that were denied the book's version.

[rainbow930]

weapon of war

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

Once the theatre monkey discovers angsty broadway musicals its all over y'all

or: I got a new personal project I'm workin' on! I'm at the first pass on the animatic rn! I forgot that 'generate matte' is a thing you can do in SB Pro for a whole hour!! I'm suffering!!!

[eri-pl]

Even if Sauron had come back after the war of wrath, and been good again and all, Curumo would still fall.

Imagine: little Mairon comes back, all messed up, crying or at least very miserable and all sorry, and all that.

What does Aulë do?

Aulë kind and humble, and not vengeful (see: him not being wroth at the Noldor ruining away like he was in BoLT)... I guess we can agree that he would throw a party. Because he would. He absolutely would.

And Curumo absolutely would feel offended by it. (Going with your assumption that he's somewhat jealous). And probably not only him.

But now, there's this problem when you are kind, but not great at interpersonal skills, and instead of two kids to manage you have a whole workshop of them, and they don't always voice their concerns clearly, and you don't read minds (well, unless they let you).

Aulë would either fail to notice that Curumo had a problem, or fall to explain to him that he's not less loved and all that.

And sooner or later, there would be results.

[nereb-and-dungalef]

This OC Sure Can Destroy And Betray Himself For Nothing

[fissions-chips]

Very badly need Post-TEC Jon desperate, desperate for revenge- his life has completely fallen apart. He has lost his reputation, his respect, a very significant portion of his money and potentially his job (though I imagine he would have been left technically in his position, just with no real power or respect- all but defanged, really).

Attempting to hunt down the Fowls, perhaps only managing to find Tim and Butler- but that’s good enough, right? They’re tangentially related, Tim to Artemis and Butler to the heist. In Jon’s mind he just wants something, one little scrap of revenge for him losing almost everything (his life consisted solely of his company and power, he has no one else)- but he gets so caught up in just raging, blindly raging and screaming about what’s happened and how Artemis gets to walk away, scot-free- Artemis was the one planning to scam him from the beginning, and he got his wish- that he doesn’t even manage to fire the gun.

And of course Jon doesn’t actually win- he’s going up against Butler. He never got to see the bodyguard in action, but it’s the work of a few moments for him to wind up disarmed and sprawled out on the ground. And he’s still raging and spitting curses and howling like a wolf, but the desperation of that anger shines through, a little bit.

[sing-me-under]

Then finally getting out of prison and almost immediately getting killed by Two Face.

I know the fandom likes to portray Willis Todd as an awful, abusive man, but to be honest, I think Jason's story is so much more tragic (and subversive) if Willis was a loving father. Think about it, a man trying to put food on the table for his son and sickly wife, but only able to make money through illegitimate means because his criminal record or lack of education has every legal job denying him. On one of his jobs he gets sent to prison, leaving his wife and son to fend for themselves. Taking as many jobs as he can in prison so he can send money to his family. Finding out his wife died. Not knowing if Jason is okay, if he is even still alive. Learning that, somehow, his son was adopted by a billionaire and just... not contacting him. Wanting so badly to see his son again, but feeling that Jason didn't want to see him, or that it might hurt him and the life he's found. Just a look at Willis Todd as a person trapped by the system, trying to give his son a good life, despite the world being against them.

[freelancearsonist]

make a move on me

➔ pre-outbreak!Joel Miller x reader - 5.5k

➔ You've been teasing Joel every day since he started remodeling construction on your house. He finally works up the courage to do something about it - but not in the way you expect him to.

➔ Rated MA for baby’s first anal fic protected p in a and anal fingering (r receiving), age gap (reader is early 20’s, joel is 36), m masturbation/pillowhumping, daddy kink, size kink, praise kink, gentle-turned-rough sex, pet names (baby, darling, honey, good girl, baby girl, little lady), slight degradation and condescension but only in a sexy way, one use of “slut”, pussy pronouns, one (1) pussy slap, gratuitous dickscription, heavy dom/sub dynamics i mean seriously these power dynamics are out of control, tommy is a little bit of a shit (affectionate) [pls let me know if i missed anything at all :)]

➔ This reader insert character: has female anatomy and uses feminine pronouns, no name/no use of y/n, is generally able-bodied, fits in joel’s shirt and is implied to be shorter/smaller than him, is on summer break from college but no major/year is mentioned.

Joel had one rule for himself going into this job: be respectful. Keep his hands to himself and his mind on the job. Don’t fret over the pretty little thing who’s been draping herself all over the house ever since he started demo, practically begging to be fucked.

If he had any sense, he would pack his shit and drop the job���or, at the very least, tell your parents to put you on a leash. But there’s a little part of him that might be a glutton for punishment–that savors the teasing.

The most infuriating part of the whole thing is that he can’t blame you for this whole mess. He shouldn’t be so quick to temptation. You should be able to walk around your own home in whatever you want and not have to worry about the creepy contractor getting flustered every time he looks in your general direction.

But god, you make it hard–double entendre intended. You walk around like you haven’t a care in the world because you don’t; you’re home for summer break after a grueling year at college, and you intend to savor every languid second of it. Your preferred method of savoring just happens to be wearing tight little bikinis that barely hold anything in place as you lounge out by the pool in the Texas heat, or tight leggings that hug your ass so perfectly it almost makes him jealous of the material as you curl up with a book on your couch.

Joel’s a grown man. He can keep it in his pants, no matter how badly he wants you. But you’re not exactly making it easy on him.

Really, it’s Tommy’s fault when the levee breaks. If he could keep his big mouth shut, Joel might’ve been able to maintain the thin control he had over himself. But Tommy goes and makes an off-handed comment about you one night, and that’s the beginning of the downward spiral.

The brothers are both lounging on Joel’s couch after a particularly taxing day of demolition work, beers cradled in hands and the TV droning uselessly with some movie that they’re more staring at than actually watching. It’s late, yet weary muscles are melted so comfortably into the couch that neither of them try to move even after Sarah’s gone off to bed.

Tommy’s eyes flicker over to Joel, then back to the TV. “That girl’s gon’ be trouble for us, brother.”

There’s a question mark in the grunt Joel emits, leaning forward with interest because he knows Tommy’s talking about you without any specification.

Tommy hums in confirmation and takes a sip of his Corona. “She’s always wearin’ those skimpy little outfits a’hers, and she ain’t coy. Must catch that pretty little thing starin’ at your ass even more than I catch you starin’ at hers.”

Joel plays it off as best as he can until Tommy goes home for the night with a half-assed promise to actually be on time in the morning for once. Then he goes up to his room, locks the door, and wraps himself around the spare pillow that lays against his headboard.

He tries so desperately hard not to think about the plump round curve of your ass, or the enticing way you lick your lips, or those damned little bikinis you favor. He grinds his aching cock into the soft pillowcase and tries to think about anything that isn’t you.

But he comes with a muffled growl of your name anyway, face pushed deep into the pillow and hips jerking arrhythmically.

There’s not much he can do now besides clean himself up and try not to think about how thoroughly fucked he is.

The next day is torture because he can feel your gaze lingering. He catches you checking him out on more than one occasion, and you’re brazen about it now. You can tell something has shifted, so you shift with it. Where you once would’ve flushed with heat and hurried away to your room, you now meet his heated eye contact and hold it.

Joel’s jaw hurts that night from the way it’s been hard-set and clenched all day long. He rubs over his sore temporomandibular joints with his long, thick fingers and wills himself to siphon you out from beneath his skin.

It doesn’t work.

The work helps. Laying tile is something he normally considers tedious, but it’s a welcome reprieve in your home because he can get down on his hands and knees and focus on something that isn’t you.

You see the labor he’s going through, and you appreciate it. And really, what kind of host would you be if you didn’t reward his efforts?

It starts with a pitcher of iced tea. It’s made just the way Joel likes it, with light ice and a few slices of lemon. He doesn’t know how you could possibly guess that, but it makes him want you that much more.

And then it’s cookies. Pain-stakingly handmade oatmeal raisin cookies, to be exact. You’re like something out of his most shameful domestic dreams in your cute floral-patterned apron and oven mitts as you pull the tray of cookies out of the oven, and an image of you in nothing but those mitts and that apron flickers through his mind before he can stop it.

All the while you traipse around the house like a mirage–humming along to the yacht rock that drifts from Joel’s stereo, swaying your hips in the kitchen as you put together the most delicious bologna sandwich Joel’s ever eaten, toweling off your soaking wet body after an afternoon in the pool. You’re the worst temptation Joel’s ever had to face.

It becomes his mantra. Be respectful, be respectful, be respectful.

But there’s no respect in your eyes. There’s nothing honorable about the way you bite your lip and smirk when he catches your gaze lingering on him.

Joel had one rule for himself going into this job: be respectful. But why should he have to play nice if you don’t?

And really, the whole thing is Tommy’s fault. He started it with that first comment about you, and then he goes and calls out sick (read: horribly hungover) this morning. He leaves Joel all alone with you–gives you the perfect opening to pounce.

Or, more accurately, entice Joel into pouncing on you.

He’s just setting his tool bag down, about to decide where he wants to start today, when your beautiful face pops in through the door.

“Good morning, Joel,” you say with that gorgeous smile of yours that makes his knees go a little weak. “No Tommy today?”

He nearly chokes on his own tongue when you step further into the room wearing a plaid button-up he left here earlier in the week and booty shorts so small he has to do a doubletake to make sure you’re actually wearing anything on your lower half. You look fucking good in his shirt, and suddenly all he can think about is pulling you in and bending you over the half-finished vanity–

“N-no. He’s sick,” Joel manages to choke out. He takes a deep breath to steady himself, then, “that’s my shirt, isn’t it?”

You look down and rub the time-worn fabric between your fingers like you have to think about it, like you don’t know exactly what you’re doing.

“Oh, it must’ve gotten mixed in with our laundry!” The little giggle you let out is so innocent that he almost believes you. Almost. “Here–”

You start to lift the fabric up your torso in the most tantalizingly slow fashion, and he just sits there and watches it happen. He sees the first peek of skin above the waistband of your shorts, and then your beautiful stomach, then the delicious curve of a breast–

He quickly jolts out a hand to stop you in the midst of mentally willing every single molecule in his dick to control itself. “S’alright, darlin’. You keep it. Looks better on you, anyway.”

“Okay,” you acquiesce and let the fabric drop back down into its rightful place. “Can I get you anything? Water maybe?”

He certainly could use it. His neck and face are flushed red, and there’s sweat starting to form at his temples despite the relatively cool temperature within the house.

He realizes, with startling clarity, that he’s at a precipice right now. This might be the only chance he gets to really do something about this burgeoning tension that’s spread thicker than butter between you and him. He’s got a choice to make, and it’s not going to be an easy choice.

“Sure.” It comes out a bit too high-pitched, so he clears his throat and tries again. “Sure, sweetheart. That’d be great.”

“Alright,” you say with that damned giggle again. “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as you leave the room, Joel feels like he can breathe again. It’s so much easier to think straight when you’re not standing there, smiling up at him and looking so damn gorgeous.

He’s got two options, when it boils down to it: fuck you or leave you alone. And he really, really wants to take you. Make you scream his name while he pounds himself into you, fill you so full that you never completely wash him out. And you want it too, he knows you do, you’re practically begging for it.

But he promised himself he would be respectful. That he would keep his hands away from the girl that’s definitely too young and too pure for someone like him–because he knows that if has you, he’ll never be able to get enough.

There’s a very clear and obvious loophole that comes to mind now; a way he could have you without ruining you, a way you could both come out of this satisfied yet mostly intact. Joel’s never been opposed to doing the hard jobs, after all.

He’s got a condom in his wallet and KY jelly in his bag–mostly used for plumbing fittings, but it’ll do the job for this kind of pipework, too.

You come back with a glass of ice water, and his resolve slips. How the hell is he supposed to initiate this? What if you say no and think he’s disgusting? What if you tell your parents? He can’t do this, this was such a horrible idea, he–

Your touch on his back is like a gentle breeze, just a flutter of your fingers to alert him to your return. He flinches a bit at the sudden contact, but when he turns you’re still so achingly close. He can smell the agonizingly sweet aroma of your conditioner and the lotion you slather on your body after showering, and all he wants is more. He wants to wrap you around him, to inhale that scent straight from the source. His resolve is back, just like that.

He doesn’t give himself another opportunity to hesitate. He places one big, meaty palm on your cheek and wraps the other around your hand that holds the glass of ice water to steady you; and then he kisses you with such bruising force it almost knocks the wind out of you.

You moan. You actually moan the second his lips meet yours, and he knows just like that–with a startling moment of clarity–that this isn’t going to be enough. He’s going to take, and take, and take–gorge himself on you until you have nothing left to give. And the strangest thing of the whole matter is that he thinks you’ll actually enjoy his greed.

“Joel–”

“Tell me you don’t want this,” he murmurs as his lips break away from yours–so low and soft in your ear it can’t be anything but a growl. “Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll stop right now.”

“I want it,” you affirm.

He searches your eyes, but he finds only earnest honesty and lust. That darkness, that pure and unadulterated want is enough to make his pants tighten. “Fuck.” 

He’s so big underneath your roaming hands as he crowds you back against the long bathroom vanity. He lifts you like you’re nothing and sets you on the counter top; he slots himself between your legs and there’s an actual stretch in your muscles to accommodate the width of his hips. One of his wide palms slips behind your head and his fingers tangle into your hair, tugging a little bit to angle your head just the way he wants it. It’s messy and frenzied and desperate–your hands gliding over tee shirt-covered muscle, his tugging your (his) shirt up over your stomach.

“Was starting to think you weren’t interested.” Your voice is heavy and breathy as he breaks away to tug the shirt over your head, casting it aside to lie forgotten on the floor.

“I’ve been tryna convince myself m’not,” he kisses into your neck. “Didn’t work.”

With a sudden roll of his hips, he has you gasping into his neck. He can’t be more than half-hard, but that bulge is formidable. Thick and straining and… suddenly you can’t focus on anything except getting him out of those tight jeans to see what you’re working with.

Your hand just barely fits around him. He’s thick and flushed, getting harder with each passing second as he scatters feather-light kisses over your neck and shoulders. He muffles a groan into your neck as you slowly pump his length–you think he’s seven, maybe eight inches at best guess. The tip of him is flushed red once you get his uncut skin out of the way, and it makes your mouth water. There’s a slight upward curve to him and a long, prominent vein that runs down the left side. It’s porn star material–you didn’t know real people had dicks like this.

“Joel… Jesus, that’s gonna be a tight fit.”

“Oh, don’t worry darlin’,” he hums, thumb ghosting over your clit in a way that makes your entire body jolt. “It ain’t goin’ in there.”

There’s nothing but pure excitement in your voice, despite the anxious gulp that tracks down your throat. “Where…”

“Flip over f’me.”

You follow his instruction with a sort of morbid curiosity, hopping down from the counter before folding yourself over it.

You can feel his eyes on you, as he takes in your willingness. It’s like you’re on display for him, for his appraisal. You’ve still got shorts and a bra on, yet you’ve never felt more exposed.

It’s almost like he can sense your mind swirling–maybe it’s because his is prone to do the same. He sets a gentle hand on your back and smooths it down your spine as he crowds up against you–you can feel the press of his exposed cock against the curve of your ass, and it makes you shiver.

“You’re so damn beautiful,” he murmurs as he folds over you, caging you in with the delicious weight of his body. His lips trace along the curve of your jaw and down your neck as he speaks. “But I made myself this little promise that I wouldn’t fuck you. You got me actin’ so unprofessional, honey.”

You whine at the sincerity in his voice–all you’ve wanted since the day he started was for him to have you folded over and at his mercy like this. 

“You can fuck me,” you whine earnestly. “It’s okay, I promise. Won’t tell.”

“Mmm, I know. You’re too good a girl to go gettin’ me in trouble over somethin’ like this,” he hums–you can hear the condescension in his voice even as he praises you, and it makes your cunt clench around nothing. “But with all the teasin’ you been doin’... don’t rightly know that you deserve to be fucked.”

“Please–”

“However,” he continues, landing a light smack to your ass in retaliation for your interruption, “might be willin’ to take you anyway, with some conditions. Out of the goodness of my heart.”

He pauses to let you ask, “What conditions?”

And then he pauses again, asking his own question this time. Is he really going to go through with this? But he’s spent the better part of two weeks staring at your ass, and you’ve spent the better part of two weeks putting it on display for him. It’s like you’ve been silently asking him all this time to take it.

His hand slides down from where it rests on your spine, over your tailbone to where he’s been thinking about all this time. He feels the way your muscles tense up even through your shorts, and it sends a thrill he can’t describe coursing through his veins.

“You ever taken someone here before?”

“N-no.” He feels it again as his other hand comes to soothingly rub your hip–that excited-yet-nervous flutter of muscle. You haven’t run away screaming yet, and that’s the biggest motivator he could have to keep going.

“I think you ought to let me. As a thank you, for puttin’ up with all your play,” he growls into your ear.

It’s fucking dirty, the idea of letting a man you hardly know take you in such a taboo way. It’s even dirtier how fucking excited the idea has you.

“You say no right now and I’ll drop it,” he murmurs so sweetly. “Don’t ever have to talk about this again.”

You’re shaking your head before he’s even finished talking–a sly smirk spreading over your lips as you grind back against him hard enough to make him choke on a moan.

“It’s only right,” you affirm. “Gotta make it up to you for how naughty I’ve been.’

His eyes flash dangerously as he grinds his cock against you again, smearing precome against the flimsy fabric of your shorts. “Atta fuckin’ girl.”

He has your bottoms and panties down around your ankles in a flash, and he actually groans at the sight of your sticky cunt all puffy and wet and on display for him.

He can’t resist the urge to swipe a finger through your folds, delighting in the string of shiny arousal that connects his finger to your core when he pulls away. “She wants it so bad, hmm? Such a shame she ain’t gettin’ any.”

It tugs a moan from your throat, especially when he drags as much slick as he can up to circle your tightest hole. He feels the way you flutter with apprehension, and he leans back down to kiss the corner of your jaw.

“Gonna get you nice and ready, I promise. M’not gonna hurt you, baby girl.”

“Thank you, da–” You almost lost yourself there for a second–almost laid your whole hand of cards out on the table for him to see. You try not to get flustered over the slip–you simply clear your throat and try again. “Thank you, Joel.” But you aren’t nearly as smooth as you hope to be.

In a flash Joel’s free hand is lifting your head, forcing you to look into his deep brown eyes. They’re so much darker than normal, and it only serves to make you wetter.

“What’d you call me?”

“J-Joel.”

His hand slips down to your throat and gives it a warning squeeze–his jaw is set, you know he isn’t playing. “Try again, and tell the truth this time.”

“D… daddy.”

You try to hide your face, to cower in shame, but he won’t let you. He smashes his lips to yours at the exact second his first finger probes that tight, waiting entrance.

“Good girl,” he murmurs as he slowly breaches you, using your own slick to guide the way. “Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You can’t do anything but gasp, hands clutching for dear life to the edge of the counter. This feels different, and not in the way you were expecting it to. It’s tight, sure, and it feels foreign, but it also feels so much better than you ever could’ve expected it to. The subtle stretch around his thick finger is addicting.

Joel’s jaw drops at the expression on your face; you already look so thoroughly fucked-out, and he’s barely even started. “Fuck.You like this, hmm? Like feelin’ daddy’s fingers gettin’ you ready for his big cock?”

The only response he gets is a wrecked little whimper, and he props your chin up again to meet his heated gaze. “Talk to me. Gotta talk to me, tell me how you’re feelin’, or I’m gonna stop.”

“Fuck!” It’s shriller than you want it to be and you would feel pathetic if you weren’t so thoroughly overwhelmed with this new sensation. “Don’t stop daddy!”

“Feels good, yeah? How long has daddy’s little slut wanted to try this?”

But there’s no way you can be expected to answer, not when he’s adding another finger to the onslaught. Not when your legs are already shaking and you’re thinking about just how many fingers he’s going to have to use to get you ready for the massive cock you can feel throbbing against your thigh.

He retracts just as suddenly as he started, and a needy little whine escapes from your throat involuntarily.

He can’t help chuckling as he reaches for the bottle of KY jelly he’d dug out of his bag while you were getting him water. It feels like it’s been years since you left the room on that little errand for him–definitely not the barely ten minutes it’s actually been.

“Relax, baby girl. I’m comin’ right back.”

You feel the cool drizzle of the water-based substance over your hole and it forces another whine from your throat. It’s met with his thick fingers again, spreading the jelly over your hole before plunging two in knuckle-deep.

“Atta girl.” His voice is thick and sweet as honey as he slowly works his fingers, thrusting and scissoring at an achingly slow pace. “Doin’ so good f’me.”

“Daddy–”

“I know,” he coos. “I know, it’s so much, isn’it?”

All you can manage to do is nod your head, arms shaking under the strain of holding yourself upright. He sees the way your limbs tremble and he adds a third finger just to be extra cruel–although he steadies you by grabbing your hip firmly with his free hand, keeping you in place as he fucks you open with his fingers.

Everything is so hot. There’s a sticky sheen of sweat covering your forehead and your chest; you can feel your own slick dripping down your thighs.

And then his free hand drops down to thumb at your clit, and everything twists in your gut so fast it nearly gives you whiplash.

Within seconds you’re coming–no pretense, no warning. It explodes white-hot from your belly and sweeps through you to the tips of your fingers and toes with flash flood speed. One second there’s nothing more than pleasant anticipation–the next, you’re shaking and convulsing and sobbing Joel’s name as you fight with every cell in your body to remain upright.

He does his part to work you through it, thumb swiping even circles on your sensitive clit, pulling his fingers from you to pin you in place on the counter so he can continue working you through it.

“I know, I know,” he coos so sweetly in your ear over the sound of your moans and cries. “You’re doin’ so good baby, let yourself have it.”

It’s minutes before you’re breathing normally again–your legs are cramping from trying so desperately to support your shaky weight. Joel’s hands are soothing you the whole time once he lets up the onslaught on your clit; it’s like he’s mapping you, tracing over every dip and curve so tenderly you could almost forget what this encounter really is.

“Doin’ okay?” He husks into your ear–and then he’s folding himself over you again, and you can feel the insistent press of his hard cock against the curve of your ass.

For some reason, that’s what really makes it sink in. That’s the moment you realize that this is actually going to happen–that you want it to happen. Joel’s about to take something from you that no one has ever taken before, and you want him to. You’re offering it willingly, even.

You hum in response and buck your hips back, giving him a delicious taste of friction that pulls a ground from his throat. “Mhm. I’m ready, daddy.”

“Fuck, that’s my girl.” He gives your hip a light pat before pulling away for a moment, and you somehow have the presence of mind to jump up on the deep countertop because you know your legs won’t be able to support you through what’s about to happen.

There’s a smile on his handsome face when he turns back towards you, lube and condom in hand. “That how you want it, baby?”

Despite everything that’s already happened, you feel so much more exposed like this. You’re completely naked, and he’s fully clothed with his pants shoved down just enough to free his dick. Even as you spread your legs to admit him between your thighs, you feel shy. And he senses it, the slight apprehension in your gaze, because his smile softens even further; he sets the lube and condom down on the counter next to you so he can grasp the collar of his worn t-shirt and tug it up over his head.

He’s beautiful for a nearly forty-year-old man, you think. He’s firm and toned, but there’s a softness about him that you can’t help admiring, especially around his belly. Your eyes eagerly lap up the soft curve of his tummy, following the tantalizing promise of his treasure trail to his cock, hard and aching for you. The ruddy, flushed tip is weeping for you; you don’t know that you’ve ever seen someone so turned on before, and it’s a heady rush of power.

He chuckles as he sees your hungry eyes taking him in–he raises one big hand to cup your chin and pull your gaze up to meet his. “You’re so pretty, baby, look so good spread out f’me like this. You sure you’re ready f’this?”

“Fuck yes,” you say with an alluring little wiggle of your hips, and that’s more than enough for him.

He pulls his bottom lip between even rows of shiny white teeth as he rolls the condom down over his length, and it’s actually intimidating like this. He’s so big and imposing and it makes your legs want to close, but–

“M’gonna go slow, okay?” He vows, voice gentle as his big, brown eyes look into yours. His fingers wrap tightly around the half-used tube of KY jelly, and he leans down to kiss you when he sees the nervous gulp that bobs your throat. “Gonna be real gentle, I promise. You tap out at any time and we’re done, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” you affirm, and you feel a lot better. As out of the blue as this is, as little as you really know Joel, you can tell he’s being sincere. You trust him; you know he won’t hurt you.

The first press of his aching tip against your hole is enough to make you choke on a gasp. He’s big, and even with all of his attentive prep work to get you ready for him it’s a tight fit. You can tell it’s affecting him, too. His eyes flutter shut and he bites down hard on his bottom lip, and you can tell that he’s fighting with all his strength not to just shove himself deep inside you. You appreciate his restraint more than words can convey, so you don’t even try; you hook your arms around his neck and pull him in for a deep, messy, desperate kiss instead. His tongue licks eagerly into your mouth as he eases his hips further and further towards yours, and it’s a nice distraction from the nearly overwhelming stretch of your muscle trying to accommodate his girth.

He shudders when his hips finally meet yours, cock stuffed to the hilt into your ass. “God damn baby, you’re so fuckin’ tight. You doin’ okay?”

You whine at the first roll of his hips, nodding your head rapidly because words won’t come. It’s such a foreign sensation, being stretched and breached like this. Not unpleasant necessarily, but so brain-scramblingly different that all you can do is dig your nails into his strong, broad shoulders and hold on for dear life as he actually starts to fuck into you.

It’s nasty, and you’ve never been so wet in your life. You hear the sticky squelch of lube as he thrusts his hips, shoving his cock deeper than you imagined possible. Your own wetness seeps from your neglected cunt and drenches him, dripping down around his cock and wetting the dense curls at the apex of his sex.

“Shit baby, you’re takin’ daddy’s cock so well,” he whines breathlessly; one arm hooks under your knee so he can spread you open a bit wider for him, and then the other hand returns to your puffy, arousal swollen clit.

You make what has to be the most high-pitched sound you’ve ever made as his index and middle fingers start a torturously slow pace on the little bud. “Fuck daddy!”

“I know,” he coos–you think that soft, breathy, Southern twang is going to actually put you in your grave. “I know, you wanna come, dontcha? It’s okay baby, daddy’s gonna make you come all over his cock just the way you need.”

His hips pick up the pace in time with his fingers, and all you can do is lay there limply like a ragdoll. The pleasure is so much different than what you’re used to, but it’s good. It’s amazing, the feeling of him balls deep in your guts in tandem with his ministrations on your clit, in a way you never imagined it could be.

“Such a good fuckin’ girl f’me,” he growls, hitching your leg a bit higher over his hip so he can thrust even deeper. “Fuck, m’not gonna last long like this. You’re gonna make daddy come so hard in this tight little ass.”

His words are accentuated with a little smack to the side of your ass, and it makes you moan louder still. Your head rolls back as he picks up the pace of his fingers, swirling hard and messy circles with reckless abandon. He’s not trying to prolong it anymore–he’s going for the kill.

“Fuck daddy!” Your hands scrabble for purchase on his smooth, freckled skin as he pounds harder into you. “W-want it, please, want you to come in my ass–”

“Gonna give it to you, impatient girl,” he growls deep in his chest. “You gimme one first.”

Your entire body jolts when he brings his hand down on your sensitive cunt before groaning at the way your arousal sticks to his hand and makes his fingers shine.

“She wants t’be stuffed so full, doesn’t she?” He purrs, fingers dancing so fucking teasingly around your fluttering cunt that it makes your eyes water. “Bet she’d love to be chock full’a cock right now.”

“Joel–”

“Now, now, baby, no whinin’. It’s unbecomin’ for such a sweet little lady,” he grunts, and the condescension dripping from his tone is almost enough to make you come on its own. “You’re gonna take what I give you and be grateful for it, aintcha?”

“Yesyesyesplease–”

His fingers have barely returned to your clit before you’re coming again. This one is even more powerful than before–a hurricane instead of a flash flood. Your entire body trembles with the ebbing flow of pleasurable waves–the words you’re panting aren’t even discernible English anymore.

The way you clench and flutter around him in your own pleasure pulls him over the edge faster than anything ever has before. He comes hard, chest clenching hard around his breath, cock twitching more violently than anything you’ve ever felt before as he spills his load into the condom.

It’s a long, breathless moment before he pulls himself from the vice-like grip you have around his dick. He pulls out with a deep, long groan–it makes you giggle, because it’s the most over-dramatic sound you’ve ever heard in your life.

There’s a beat, and then he starts laughing, too. At the sweet sound of your laugh, at the way he feels like he just ran a marathon, at the absolute absurdity of this whole thing. His laughter is so sweet and gut-deep and infectious, and it only serves to make you laugh harder. For a good few moments it’s just you and Joel, half naked, panting and sweaty, doubled over in laughter.

And then the bathroom door swings open and Tommy barges in. 

“I’m feelin’ a helluva lot better after sleepin’ in, what’s so funny–” He stops dead in his tracks; he sees you naked and spread out on the counter and Joel disheveled and sweating. Neither of you are laughing very much anymore as you both scramble to cover yourselves up.

Tommy quirks a brow, a smirk spreading across his lips as his eyes dart back and forth between you and Joel. “Well, well, well. What have we here?”

You don’t know how to answer when you’re so mortified, so you do the only thing you can think of–you dart out of the room and down the hall to the safety of your bedroom as fast as your shaky legs can carry you.

➔ beta: @fhatbhabie dividers: @saradika-graphics

➔ Want to see more from me in the future? Follow @freelancearsonist-updates and turn on post notifications to be notified when I post new fics!

➔ Want to support me? Please reblog this fic! It helps boost it in the algorithm and gives it more circulation no matter what your follower count is :) any feedback or comment is always greatly appreciated!!

[notpixl]

HSR Character Drabbles (Ft. The Stellaron Hunters & The IPC)

Had to change the title since like the realizing part is kind of restricting my headcanoning ahh and I want to just-

Your honor just kill me I just wanna write 🫠

GN!Reader as per usual

And if there was a Title to describe this whole bananza then it’s: What do they do when they’re in love with You?

But it feels… you know what? Just enjoy this mess.

Also! Established Relationships for Topaz and Aventurine. I would’ve gone insane by the time I had something for them that isn’t in the relationship phase…

—————

———

—————

Kafka

She’s “somewhat” clingy

Been like this ever since she’s laid her eyes on you

You just bring a… certain charm that makes her enamored

And this feeling soon devolved into something more…

I wouldn’t say worse but…

It reaches to the point where she cherishes every moment with you

Be it longer hugs

Her hands intertwined with yours at any chance she gets

Or a few more minutes just so she can lay in bed you a little bit longer (the whole one room one bed is orchestrated by her, of course)

You’re just…

Mm…

She just wants to be with you

Every second

Smile for her, will you? Just once? It’ll get her going

Silver Wolf

Holed up in her room

Otome games stacked beside her

Reading text at near light speeds as if it isn’t even difficult

And once she meets her own reflection from the end credits…

She concludes that it isn’t enough

…she wants everything to go right

Not to make an embarrassment of herself

It has her spiraling downwards and staying up for days until you’re told by Kafka to check in on her

Her eyes flutter open

Words of concern spill out of your mouth

She’s not even listening to you

Just…

Wondering if these hands on her shoulders are real or not

Thankfully she does get ahold of her senses and willingly heads to bed

Not before having more… thoughts

Damn can she be just normal for once-

Tip for Boss: Give her a hug

Blade

Sort of good news…?

He’s in love

Bad news?

He’s in love

He goes to such lengths in distancing himself from you, often taking missions that’ll definitely take a month or two to finish…

It’s only when Elio and Kafka step in with these countless missions that he begrudgingly takes in your presence again

Though… some part of him appreciates your company

Even if one day you…

Well…

Let’s just ignore that for a second

All that matters now…

Is that you’re here

Side note: Ruffle his hair at least once or twice a week.

Pretty please.

Firefly

She’ll be fine she says!

Cues to her trying to get a grip of everything the moment you wave at her

Firefly is… a mess to put it at words

Girlfailure if you will

From spacing out just by calling her name or her brain needing a reboot when you hold her hand

Heck, even Kafka and Silverwolf are teasing her about this!

But… she isn’t afraid to improve

Because one day

She’ll have the courage to…

To ask if you’re fine with eating cake rolls with her…

…

Doesn’t that just sound like a date-

Fun fact: She will stay still as a rock if you lay your head on her shoulder. Use this for whatever you want

Aventurine

Countless paper bags scattered across thr living room

You don’t deny these gifts of course it’s just…

You know

You’re not used to this

This amount of…

Appreciation

So, who would’ve thought that one day…

He decides to visit you!

Without warning!

…How did he even know your addre-

Right, your wallet…

That aside he’s just…

Standing there

Processing what’s in front of him right now

“…do you want more?”

“Wh-what?”

“Do you want a mansion instead?”

“Navi, can you get ahold of yourself please-

Call him nicknames. Makes him a tomato.

Topaz

Lap Pillows

And also Numby laying on your tummy

This has been an occasional thing whenever the weekend comes by

There’s also a switch in roles! And it happens quite often during weekdays when she comes home from work

Which lets you pepper her with kisses, leaving her a blushing mess afterwards

She’ll also fake getting sick just so she can be enveloped by your lovey dovey hugs just a bit longer

Though that always ends in her grumpily heading back to work…

“I miss my S/O, Numby…” She says as she closes the front door

Tip: If you kiss her then keep kissing her then make out and head to fourth base did you know she’ll be really needy an

Dr Ratio

After countless research and conducting…

Does he finally come up with a solution

…

A change in attitude

His rather… harsh demeanor would only lead to distancing yourself from him

Which explains itself very well in not having a chance at expressing his feelings for you

…but he’ll do what he can

Big or small

So long as you see him…

The way he sees you

Then writing this Thesis about Love isn’t so bad after all

I.E. Dr. Ratio turns soft for your sake and everyone else’s

…

“What’s this?”

“Tea. I thought you might need it for the gargantuous amount of paperwork.”

“Thanks… are you sure you aren’t possessed?”

“Why the assumption…?”

“You’re smiling.”

…

….

…

Yell at me if I did something bad for anyone in thi sob drabble :(

And that if this gets more than eleven likes I will have to acknowledge the fact that people like this

[inbarfink]

Okay, so here’s the thing….

We are still at a very early point in the narrative of ‘Fionna and Cake’ and therefore at a very early point in Simon’s character arc. It’s pretty clear that “I need to become Ice King again” is not the end point by any meaning of the word. But I am wondering where we’re going to go with this, cause… The series has yet to really tackle how miserable Ice King himself was a lot of the time. And how often he hurt people. 

Like, yes, I was an advent advocates for 'trying to bring back Simon Petrikov was a really really Bad Idea on Betty's part, it was more healthy to focus on making sure Ice King was as happy and healthy and harmless as he could be', but I am also fully aware that he started the show being both extremely lonely and extremely sad and also a serial kidnapper who was very much a danger to those around him. And as much progress as he made during the show, getting Ice King to that point was a very serious struggle with a lot of backslidings and problems.

'Friends Forever' is, for example, an episode that stuck with me for a long time as a really heart-wrenching demonstration how even in that late stage, when he has buddies and people trying to seriously take care of him - Ice King was still very capable of seriously sabotaging his own relationships and hurting others and himself.

And it does make sense narratively that, like, characters like Astrid and Fionna and Cake, all of whom lack the full context of what Ice King's life was like (Fionna and Cake really just saw Simon at his worst and only got snippets of clips of Ice King and since Astrid was born after Humans came to Ooo that means she was also born after the events of ‘Come Along With Me’) all see Simon as a downgrade. Because they really don’t understand how bad Ice King was beforehand. 

And thus is does make sense that with Simon's current mental state, and how he is surrounded lately with these kinda people who never really knew Ice King and don’t really understand how terrible and miserable he could be, and now hearing that his ‘sanity’ just took away magic and whimsy from some else’s whole universe, and how it feels like the actual gods of the multiverse are telling him that he should be Ice King, that he's supposed to be Ice King....

It makes sense that he might start kinda... romanticizing that time in his life again. 

You know, the big thing about the outlook that Betty should’ve accepted Ice King as who he is rather than basically destroy herself to bring Simon back wasn't about whatever Ice King or Simon Petrikov were better or 'cooler' than the other. It was about, like, embracing change. Not obsessing about a past where things were ‘Better’ but seeing what is the best you can do with things as they are. Moving forwards.

And we all know how Simon feels about moving forwards right now…

And obviously that's a pretty bad mindset, even if it's understandable how he got there...

And honestly, if we do explicitly acknowledge that, hey! Ice King’s life was often just as much of a depressive spiral as Simon's is right now! There might be an element of… resignation in Simon’s decision. 

Because Simon's downward spiral since getting cured is not a demonstration that he was better off under the Ice Crown's curse.... But, to him, more a demonstration that he doesn't need the Crown to screw up his own life anymore.

‘Cause as both as Ice King and as good ol’ ‘sane’ Simon Petrikov he is just as capable of being lonely and depressed.

And just as capable of losing his own identity.

And just as capable of pushing his loved ones away and ruining his own life.

And just as capable of becoming a weirdo obsessive.

And just as capable of making little girls cry.

He even started kidnapping people again! That’s the Ice King Classic!

So on some level, maybe Simon is resigned to the fact he’s always going to be SOME sort of screwed up lonely sadman who hurts others. And if that is his fate, he might as well be the screwed up lonely sadman who is mostly oblivious to how sad he really is and can shoot ice from his fingertips. And his arc is going to be about realizing that, whether he is Ice King or Simon Petrikov, healing and change ARE always possible for him.

But we’re gonna have to see where it goes…

[kr-v]

Serdtse

pre/early s1 Viktor

male reader

Ch.1

Synopsis: You're a metalworker who has finally been given the opportunity to meet a long-time friend's assistant. And you're not sure what you expected, but this wasn't it.

Word count: 6k

Note: happy new year:) hope it is not too out of character

You typically meet what feels like copies of the same person in your field of work. The same industrial plants looking for parts, the same labour companies looking for tools, the same orders coming from the same people.

Sometimes, you do get the outlier—maybe an older woman cradling precious jewelry in her frail hands with the request that you resize it, telling tales of when she was young and beautiful and her rings still fit. You do your best to break your silence and humour her, telling her that her beauty has not faded one bit before offering a lower price, heart feeling a little heavier as you watch her head back down into the dark recesses of the Undercity, clean and adjusted jewelry hidden in her pockets.

And, despite these brief, unique-seeming instances, you still find yourself trudging through haze and sinking into a repetitive cycle.

Into the furnace, out of the fire, onto the anvil, into the water.

Forming. Cutting. Joining.

Again and again and again and again.

What once excited you has begun to dull, boring you in the process. You don't doubt the worsening conditions with shimmer in Zaun attribute to this sudden tilt towards a downward spiral. But you still hold a passion for your craft, so you stick with it, despite the itch for something, someone, to come and knock the piling monotony over. 

-

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. 

You're in the midst of completing yet another commission of metal panels, something you must admit you no longer find much joy making, let alone care for whatever their purpose will be. Not when you had made a near-painful amount of them for another client the prior week.

You aren't what would be considered talkative typically, but you would have appreciated something more than silence and an anxious glance in response when you had asked where they would be installed. The unease in the atmosphere gets to those from the other side of the bridge too, you suppose.

(What's life without mild irritation? You find yourself repeating the phrase often in your mind.)

You barely hear the ringing of the bell installed over the door as you hammer the hot metal, flattening it out. Looking up, you catch the eyes of a young man standing near the door. He's no devil—incredibly far from it, actually, and you swear you can feel your pulse quicken when you make eye contact—but he doesn't look like someone that would typically find himself in your type of shop. Especially not as you register he's wearing a Piltover Academy uniform. 

Too refined to be surrounded by burning metal and gear grease.

"I'll be with you in a minute. Sorry for the wait." 

His shoulders very slightly jump into a shrug when he assures you. "It's no problem at all."

And you go back to your task. You can feel his eyes on you, but you chalk it up to curiosity, which you can already tell he's full of. Something that feels rare in the misery that surrounds.

The final panel does not take long for you to finish and you pull your glove off and slip it halfway into the pocket of your apron where the other one is tucked in as you approach the front of your shop. The man is still there, very slightly leaning on his cane, and you're not entirely sure why you're pleasantly surprised he hasn't left.

But the answer to that comes quick when you move closer.

His deep brown hair is styled so that it doesn't hide his face, allowing you to get a better look at him. There are little moles dotted onto his face, with hollowed cheeks under sharp cheekbones that lead to his unexpectedly piercing eyes. You might have described as pools of molten gold had you been referring to a piece of art and not a real person standing in front of you.

His features are sculptural—sharp edges with an undeniable softness hard to identify. In another life, where you had chosen a more artistic passion, you'd have loved him as a muse. 

"It really was a minute." His strong brows are raised and the tone you can hear in his voice is unexpectedly teasing as he pulls you out of the nearly-endless abyss of your thoughts, as if he knows what you're thinking. 

You exhale a laugh through your nose after a second of reeling your mind back into the present moment and away from his appearance. It's probably the first amused noise you've made in weeks. "Thanks for waiting." Your gaze lingers on the mole above his lip for the briefest moment. "What can I help you with?"

"I presume you are (Y/N), yes?"

"I am." "Perfect." He takes a step closer, as if this confirmation was what he needed to properly allow himself into the space. "Professor Heimerdinger sent me here, something about a talented metalsmith whose help he needed." He scans your shop with his pretty eyes as he speaks and there's a pause his explanation before he looks at you once again. "I'm Viktor, his assistant." He moves his right hand outwards, as if to shake yours, before his eyebrow twitches and he seems to remember the dark blue folder occupying his hold. "Oh, eh.. Here." His lip quirks into a small smile and he holds the folder out for you to take. 

There's a little spark of recognition that passes through you as you realize who exactly is standing in front of you.

In truth, Heimerdinger had described Viktor to you in prideful detail, like a father boasting about his golden son. You can feel the bit of excitement bubbling in your chest as you realize this is your opportunity to finally see the man behind Heimerdinger's carefully crafted, but ultimately foggy image. He'd never been one to discuss physical appearances and you never expected.. this.

You take the folder gently in one hand and properly introduce yourself, holding out your other, thankfully clean, hand for a proper handshake now that Viktor's is free.

His hand is a little cold and you feel it jolt against yours from the shock of the temperature change—your skin is still warm, bordering on hot, from your physical work and the glove you only just pulled off. 

You do your best to steer your mind away from the skin-to-skin contact as you pry the folder open.

"..I've heard of you before." A glance is thrown his way to see his reaction.

The surprise in his face is evident. His thick eyebrows are raised again and there's this glimmer in his eyes. "You have?"

"From Heimerdinger. He seems very proud to have you as an assistant."

You flip through the papers after finding you need to tear your eyes away from his bright face. "And 'talented'? The professor is ever the flatterer, did he tell you to say that?"

"Maybe."

The papers inside display sketches of gears, all labelled and neatly detailed with dimensions and materials. Yet, they're oddly uncomplicated. "Why send you all the way here? I'm sure someone at the academy can make these. They're quite simple." 

At that, Viktor cocks his head, eyebrows quirking, as if to say he understands your thought process. "To be entirely honest, Heimerdinger also said something about wishing you'd visit again. I suppose this is his indirect way of inviting you." His nose scrunches for a second as he winces and his teeth show for a quick moment. It's charming. "...I also suppose I spoiled his plan."

Not entirely. You're not quite sure if he realizes the other half—the professor did let it slip that he believed you and Viktor would get along quite well, and this is the perfect opportunity. Face-to-face, standing on equal ground, and without the distractions that come with being inside the Piltover Academy.

But you don't mention this.

"Maybe."

Instead, you echo his words and tilt your own head to the side. "I guess I can do this, then." You gesture with the folder. "And drop the finished gears off myself. To, er, indirectly accept his invitation." 

Seeing Viktor's amusement painted on his face with another smile feels like a small victory. A victory you're not sure you should be internally celebrating. But the smile really does fit his features nicely.

"That works." There's another pause. His eyes quickly fleet over your body. You're sure he's now realizing just how messy you look, covered in soot and grease. Maybe he's judging your work clothing, too. You can't exactly vouch for the safety of relying on an apron and a, maybe slightly too tight, dirty old shirt for upper body protection.

In contrast, Viktor's well dressed. He's in a maroon button-up, with layered vests, a cravat, and ironed dress pants. He looks nice. And you do your best to ignore the fact that you feel like a grimy fool standing in front of him. You hope that, at the very least, he doesn't think you dress like this outside of your job.

"Quite impressive." Your brows pinch.

"Your work is very versatile." He clarifies.

Oh.

You're internally chagrined for a moment before logic kicks in. 

Sure, Viktor's attractive. You can admit that to yourself—and you already have a million times over in your racing mind. But this is humiliating. You've only just formally met.

"Ah.. yes, I do a bit of everything." Praise from anyone as bright as he must be would get your heart jumping, you justify, no matter who it is. "Thank you."

He moves closer to one of the many tables in your space, one that's littered with all sorts of tools, papers, and things you've crafted. Some yet to be picked up by clients, some with no final destination or use—often made during odd hours, when sleep felt like it was out of your grasp and your mind still buzzed.

"May I touch?" 

You swallow.

"Go ahead."

Your fingers drum against the folder for a few seconds before you make your way around Viktor and place the paper down onto your much neater desk.

Viktor leans his cane against the cluttered table and picks up a small, overcomplicated mechanical propeller. It's not your typical smithing work that people look for—a mechanism rather than a tool or weapon—and it's been lying around for so long, you only vaguely remember its intended use. "I believe that was ordered by a father. ...Something about his kid's toy."

"Why do you still have it?"

"He gathered enough money to move, or something like that. No need for toy planes at that point. I have not received any orders for.. mechanical things since then, unfortunately." The fact that a piece of a child's toy is one of the best things you have to show for your engineering prowess makes you frown.

Viktor makes a little sympathetic hum in the back of his throat and pushes one of the blades with his pointer finger. "I understand." It's quiet but you can tell he's genuine.

He watches as it spins, holding it close to his face and analyzing it like it's some impressive, overly detailed mechanism.

"Quite intricate.." He seems to be talking to himself, but he lifts his head to look at you and continues, before you have the chance to argue that it's nothing spectacular. "And you also made those?" Using the hand that holds the propeller, he gestures to the far corner of the main room, where steel breastplates are propped up against the wall.

You lean against the edge of your desk, arms crossed over your chest, where a little flame of pride begins to burn. And maybe a little bit of something else you don't want to entertain the thought of. Something you probably should not entertain the thought of, especially not so soon. "Everything in here is my own." The sentence comes out colder than you wanted as a result and you hope the smile you give afterwards helps soften it. 

It seems to work, or maybe Viktor doesn't mind your tone, either way. "Very interesting." He places the propeller back onto the table, between a jar of thick nails and some rusted cinch clamps. "Jack of all trades and master of them all, it seems. Flipping the saying on its head, so to speak." He sounds and looks genuinely impressed and it fans the the fire in your chest. It may be because this is the first time the man has stepped foot into your workplace and he's already flattering you nearly to a fault. And because genuine compliments seem so rare now.

Or it may be because of who's giving them out. 

You choose not to dwell on the thought longer than need be. 

"You're too kind." Is what you manage to say. A bit quieter, softer, than intended. "I'm no master, but thank you, Viktor." 

"From what I've already seen, you are." His shoulders jump up into a slight shrug as he replies.

The light tone of his response paired with a facial expression you can't quite make out makes it feel like something you'd hear from someone you've known for far longer, someone you hold much closer, and not from Heimerdinger's assistant whom you first saw in person only 20 minutes ago. His eyes crinkle at the corners as he looks away. 

Viktor's gaze is back on the table. You know from Heimerdinger that he has more of an interest in the mechanical, engineering side of things. That claim is backed up as you watch him zero in on one of the blueprints partially hidden under an array of tools. His palm is flat on the tabletop and his fingers twitch, like he's holding back from pulling the pages out from under the mess to get a better look at the lines sketched into the blue paper.

Part of you really does not want to say your next words.

"Shouldn't you be heading back to the academy now?" Viktor's eyes are on you again. This time, he blinks, looking puzzled and maybe even a little... deflated. His hands drop to his sides as he stands up straight. "I'm sure you're needed there, and I don't want to take up too much of your time."

"The professor gave me plenty of time—the whole day, actually—and you're not forcing me to stay." You can't argue with that. Especially as you feel your own relief seeping into your bones.

I hoped you'd say something like that. That is left unsaid.

"Plus.." There's a pause, a split second too long. His eyes seem to search for something unseen in his mind. "I do find your work interesting."

You uncross your arms and your fingers drum against the edge of the desk this time. "Do you usually hand out compliments like this?"

"Sometimes." It's all Viktor says, and he pairs it with a glance you can't decipher. 

"Well, uh... I unfortunately have to go out and pick up some materials today...." There's a pause. Viktor's eyebrows furrow and there's a little frown, maybe even a hint of a pout, tugging at his lips and you want to punch yourself for paying so much attention to them. "But, maybe you can find some time to stop by another day? If you don't mind for me to work on the gears you were sent here for during your visit.."

He looks relieved at your words. The crease between his eyebrows smooths out and his mouth relaxes into a little smile that thins out his lips. Your brain is still stuck on the briefest image of the pink of his bottom lip jutting out in disappointment and you nearly forget to listen to his answer, having to forcibly haul your attention back to the present. "I wouldn't mind that at all." He seems to mentally run through his schedule and he holds his chin between his pointer finger and thumb. "Would Thursday two weeks from now work?" In the quickest instant, you picture your hand replacing his, and his facial expression morphing into a softer one as you lean in, his hands on your waist—god.

"That works perfectly."

Any plans you had for that day be damned.

You're sure Viktor is happy to have more time to quench his inquiries and you're more than happy to provide some mental nourishment, though you do wish that interest would pivot away from your work and focus on you. 

You bid him goodbye, with a request to inform Heimerdinger you will visit when the gears are complete, and watch him leave, not getting back to your tasks until he's entirely out of view.

-

It's Monday afternoon the next week and you're surprised to find a paper unceremoniously slid under the door to your workshop. It's a crisp white envelope with the Piltover Academy symbol stamped into the wax seal that you do your best to preserve as you pry the flap open and pull out the page stored inside. Probably a letter from Heimerdinger, with an expression of excitement for your meeting.

Upon unfolding it, you find your theory disproven quickly. 

Dear (Y/N),

It was a pleasure meeting you last week, and I must admit I am glad Professor Heimerdinger's patience with you had run out enough to send me your way. Now, thinking about it, I can see that our meeting must have been part of his secret plan, as well. Smart man.

I am sending this letter as to inform you that the professor is greatly looking forward to your visit, which I'm sure you know. Whether or not you have finished making the gears by then seems to be the last of his concern. He has already begun creating a buzz around the academy regarding the visit of a mysterious, metalworking genius sometime in the following weeks. So, please be aware that there may be some extra pairs of eyes on you and many questions from curious students when you arrive. I hope this does not cause you to have second thoughts, though I doubt it will. 

I am looking forward to seeing you again next week and witnessing your creation process in person.

Kind regards,

Viktor

You stare at the paper in some confusion. Viktor sent you a letter. You're not sure why. The meeting between the two of you was brief, without anything particularly impressive to show on your part, and you still feel like you may have made a fool of yourself in some way.

And, either way, there was no need for Viktor to have gone out of his way to write all of this and send it. He could have told you everything in person next week. 

But you can't deny the little spark of 'what if?' that flashes through you, especially with his little humorous quips strewn throughout the lines. 

And he's looking forward to seeing you again? You're reading too much into it, but you really do internally wish this goes beyond simple work relations, and maybe Viktor wouldn't be against stepping into a genuine friendship. And possibly, though definitely out of reach, something closer.

Still, even if he doesn't share the dream, you skim over the sentence a few more times, until you read it with his voice in your mind and maybe a little gentler of a tone than necessary. 

You waste no time in finding a clean sheet of paper and a fountain pen. Doing your best not to overthink your words, you write a response.

Dear Viktor,

Thank you greatly for taking the time to handwrite a letter to me. I had not expected it, but I really do appreciate it, and I hope my thankfulness translates through my writing. 

(My apologies if this letter is too brief. Writing them is not my strong suit, I must admit.)

I am glad to hear that Heimerdinger doesn't seem to hold any animosity regarding my delay and I will do my best not to disappoint anyone curious when I arrive. But I make no promises. 

And I, too, am very glad to have met you last week. I anticipate with excitement to learn more about you during our next get together. I can already tell you have a bright mind and I am curious to hear about your studies. I can't be the only one discussing my specialty, after all. 

Thank you again for your kindness.

Regards,

(Y/N)

-

True to his word, Viktor shows up two weeks later on Thursday. 

He's holding a brown paper bag you assume contains his lunch and smiling when you immediately drop what you're doing to greet him. 

"I hope I'm not interrupting your work." There's that soft, teasing edge to his words again. 

"Not at all. I wasn't really working, anyway." It's the truth. You'd resorted to fidgeting around in your workspace in attempt to pass the time and ease your impatience as you waited for Viktor. Nerves had spiked in your insides as you considered the possibility that maybe he forgot, or changed his mind.

The fact the idea of Viktor having second thoughts had hurt embarrasses you.

Viktor had been stuck in your very brain tissue since you'd met last week. Partially convincing yourself it was a dream, you almost felt the need to pinch yourself when he came into your shop again, even though you had exchanged those few letters in the meantime and you were sure he was a man of his word. 

"Well, then..." You speak again, before your silence becomes odd and another source of overthinking. "Should we get started?"

- 

Viktor occupies a chair you've pulled out for him at your desk as you clear a space and set everything up.

He pauses his in-depth, intensely passionate run-down of his latest scientific theories—and his desires to achieve more—that give you a glimpse into the intricacies of his mind in order to offer his help. The offer sounds more like a request soaked with curiosity and you're unable bring yourself to decline, so you ask him to pull out three moulds for the gears from the shelf next to your workbench.

Leaning his cane against the edge, Viktor pulls the moulds off of the shelf and shifts them into one arm. 

One by one he carries the moulds out, holding them close to his chest with his right arm as not to drop them, cane in his left hand. He's as gentle with his movements as he can be with the heavy things when he places them onto the thick metal surface. 

"These are your work, too?" Viktor traces the strong edges of one of the forms with a dexterous finger, like he's analyzing every atom that makes up the metal block with his fingertip. With shameful haste, you concentrate on the incredibly simple task of picking out bits of scrap metal and dropping them into the melting pot. 

"Yes, they were made from their own moulds." You pull your gloves on once there's enough metal for three gears. "...A mould cast within a mould." It's a mere, under-the-breath mutter as you slowly pick the pot up by the handle with a steady hand, but you can hear a little amused exhale of laughter from Viktor.

You can't help but to glance up at the sound, at Viktor, and find him already looking at you.

You, rather than the hypnotizing flames of the hearth or the pot of steadily melting metal. Or the hundreds of other things around the shop that slot into the little jar of metalworking intrigue far better than you do. 

He diverts his gaze fast, like he was caught red-handed and trying to act normal about it. There's just a hint of his eyes widening and lips pursing as he lifts a fist to his mouth and clears his throat. 

The wishful implication that it was something more than simple knowledge-hungry interest is a thought quickly shoved away, under the carpet and into the desperate corners of your mind.

The sudden crackle of charcoal reminds you that you're still standing in front of the forge and definitely not paying as much attention to the dangerous pot of hot, near-liquid metal as you should be. There's a sudden urge to drag a hand over your face and sigh as you peel your focus away from Viktor and direct it back to your job. 

It's silent for a few beats until Viktor speaks again. His voice is calm. steady, unaffected. Confident once more. "How do you know Heimerdinger? He hadn't mentioned it to me."

You know you're a fool for wishing he could've sounded as flustered as you feel.

"Ah, I guess I hadn't mentioned that, either.." You keep your eyes on the melting metal. "We met when I was still an apprentice in the Undercity. He needed some parts for a machine he was working on and I took up the job, as my mentor was busy." Before Viktor asks why look for someone in the Undercity? like anyone would, you continue. "My mentor had a good reputation. One that carried over across the bridge. Heimerdinger has been keeping up with me and offering support, ever since." Part of you is upset with yourself that you hadn't visited the professor in a long enough time that he decided a commission would be the only way to get you back in the academy. "I really should have visited sooner."

Viktor hums. It's a low, rumbling sound that seems to come straight from his chest and it snakes up your spine in the form of goosebumps. "Why not stay in Piltover? You have a very good connection there."

"Can't say I have a particularly.. good or logical reason." Carefully, the pot is carried over to workbench, where the moulds are held in place by thick iron clamps. "I just don't really want to, I suppose."

The blocks are positioned in a row and you slowly pour the molten metal into the hole atop each one, doing your best to ignore Viktor's watchful gaze that tracks each of your movements over and over. You don't doubt he's mentally jotting down the motion of your every muscle and each maneuver you make under the How to Cast Gears tab in his mind. You briefly wallow in the self-indulgent hope that there's a little topic marker dedicated solely to you, too. 

"That's a good a reason as any." Viktor replies. And his voice is suddenly right there as he leans in to get a closer look at the process. "Feelings are important, too. Not every decision needs to have a definite, analytical cause that you can pin point behind it."

You keep your head forward.

When the metal seeps into the depths of each mould and leaves some extra space, you follow through with another round of pouring, until each form is full and metal threatens to pool over and out of the spouts. "That's true." 

There's a moment silence as you hang the pot on a thick metal hook by the loop on the handle and turn to Viktor, "Now we wait. Shouldn't take too long. I can make some tea in the meantime. I have black and green tea. ...Or coffee?" 

"Black tea would be nice, thank you." 

At the confirmation, you walk over to the small faux-kitchen in the corner near your desk and pull out a steel kettle.

Viktor looks over the setting metal before he suddenly stands up straight.

He goes back to your desk, where the brown paper bag he brought sits. He leans his cane against the back of his chair and straightens the folded top of the bag, pulling it open and reaching in. Two small cardboard food boxes are pulled out, held in his pale hands, and placed on the tabletop. "Eh... I hope you have a bit of a sweet tooth.."

Wait.

He pulls the lid of one of the little boxes off, revealing a delicious-looking slice of Napoleon cake, and looks back to you. One of the corners of his lips raises just a bit higher and suddenly he's smirking and raising a brow in invitation.

You can't help but pluck his expression out of context, and place it into a more intimate, gentle situation. One where you move closer, close enough for Viktor to place his palm on the back of your head and sigh against your lips as you lean in....

Realizing you've been silent for a beat too long, you do your best to sound normal as you clear your throat.

"You didn't need to— Thank you, but really.." You feel like you're blubbering for words like a fish out of water and you hope that it's just in your imagination. 

"I wanted to." Viktor says this with such ease and maybe a bit too gentle of a tone that it sends little spikes of warmth rushing through your muscle fibres. Again, he's back in that soft setting in your mind, as you stand at the sink and fill the kettle with water. "It's only fair—you're letting me intrude on your work like this." 

"You're not intruding—" There's a pointed look directed your way. "—okay. Thank you. Again." He can have this win.

He waves you off, but there's a little quirk to his lip that evens his smirk out into a satisfied smile, like he's proud he has triumphed a debate with a topic more serious than dessert, and, once more, your eyes immediately flicker towards the movement.

You place two thick ceramic mugs onto your desk and drop a bag of black tea into each one once the kettle is on the fire. Viktor watches as you bring a second heavy chair over with one arm, your hand hooked through the opening in the back, and place it at the short end of the table. The balancing act of two small plates and forks in your other hand ends when you put them on the table, as well.

Viktor's right leg crosses over his left and he leans back, with his elbows on the arm rests and hands resting atop each other in his lap. He seems comfortable and you can't shake the fact that his posture really does make it look like he owns the space, possibly more than you do. And when you're beckoned back to the fire by the kettle's whistle, you reassure him that you don't need his assistance. He's the guest here.

Just sit still and look pretty. You don't say that—but you do think it. 

It's far too bold and far too early, and maybe a bit too simple of a phrase for a bright man like Viktor. You'd do anything in your power to avoid implying the false idea that you're dumbing him down to his outermost layer, his physical appearance. And you keep telling yourself that, that it's too fast, even when he looks at you from under the shadows of his brow bone and eyelashes with a little bit of something in his eyes as you lean in just a bit closer over his shoulder to pour hot water into his cup. You feel a bit like you're putting on a show for him—one he observes with some unidentifiable interest before quickly diverting his gaze to the steeping tea. He plays with his fingers for a few seconds, catching his left middle finger between his right pointer and thumb. He seems almost.... awkward. Nervous. You pray it's because of you and not the logical explanation of it simply being an odd moment between two friends. 

Once you place the kettle onto a cork board, you take a seat like the moment never happened and watch Viktor regain his momentarily lost composure with haste. His hands relax and start to take the small dessert boxes apart, gentle but with enough force to pull the tabs open and lay them flat with his fingers. He moves the slices of cake to the plates with ease this way, after sliding the prongs of his fork under each piece. 

"Here—your slice." Viktor pushes one of the small plates in your direction, and you reach over to pick up the flattened boxes and drop them into the hinged trash can under the desk. 

Picking up your fork, you take a moment to examine the slice of cake in front of you. It looks almost unnaturally appetizing, with its many flakey layers sandwiched between sweet cream and the mixed berries decorating the top. You almost don't want to eat it, since that comes with the pain of ruining the perfect dessert. "Thank you. It looks delicious." 

You wonder if Viktor has a serious sweet tooth. Maybe you should be the one treating him.

-

When you take the moulds apart and pull the gears out, Viktor watches intently. He stands closer, seemingly have gained some more confidence and comfort within your presence. 

"The next step is shaving them down and shaping them into the ideal form." The rasps are held in the top drawer under the workbench, and you pull out a few different sizes and grits. They're placed on the table while you vertically clamp a gear and bring the chairs from your desk over to the bench.

Viktor sits next to you as you pick up one of the bigger rasps and begin filing down the edges of the gear. You do your best to ignore the closeness. 

"Eh.. Would you like to try?" You catch his eye. 

"May I?" This seems so easy to pluck out of context. Again.

"Of course." You stand up, pushing the chair back, and walk around it, gesturing for Viktor to take your spot. He sits, gently taking the rasp from your outstretched hand. His movements are a little unsure as he presses his pointer finger against the flat top and pushes forward, angling his hand upward. "Ah..." For a second, you reach ahead, from your standing position behind Viktor, before you realize that this probably isn't a good idea. "..You need to angle your hand slightly downward. It will make the rasping a bit easier." Thankfully, he doesn't seem to notice your little slip-up and short internal dilemma.

But then he glances over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. "You can touch me. I don't mind." His facial expression reads as inviting of all things and it almost feels like an intentional taunt. A tease. Like you've cracked a bit at the seams and he's gathering the spill with his fingers instead of ignoring it like he should, all while giving you this small, innocent smile. "I think I'll understand better that way, since I have no experience with this."

Finding your mouth suddenly unbearably dry, you pause and release a silent breath. Viktor has to know how this sounds.

"Okay." It's all you say before you're leaning over his shoulder again. This time, your hand overlaps his and you hold the tool with him, doing your damn best to focus on helping and not Viktor's sharp little inhale that you can hear clearly with how close you are. You angle your hand and it forces his to do the same, and you push. The rasp files down the excess metal with much less resistance. You pull back before the touch becomes awkward. More awkward than it already feels. 

Viktor is still and silent and he's not looking at you anymore. His grip on the rasp is tight and white-knuckled and his head is facing straight forward. Your gut sinks as you realize you definitely messed up. Fuck. You feel awful.

Before you get a chance to apologize, Viktor leans his head against the knuckles of his free hand and clears his throat. "..Thank you." He lifts his head against and loosens the painful-looking hold he has on the tool. When he begins to rasp again, he finally glances at you again and you nearly loudly release an exhale of relief. There are no harsh lines of malice or disgust in his face. Instead, there's a little smile. "Er, is this correct?"

"Yes. That's perfect." 

You're not sure if it's a good idea to hope the brief bashful-seeming look on his face before he turns his head again isn't only part of your imagination. But you do. More than you should.

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Twelve: [Bring Me The Horizon]

Summary: After Jensen and Jake finish their face-off, you tell Jake how it is. He practices the art of holding himself accountable for his actions, and you get a call that would send you into a downward spiral. Putting you in jeopardy right before your surgery.

Warnings: MAIN CHARACTER DEATH Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion. JEALOUS JAKE!

Word Count: 5.1k

Author Note: WOW and we’re back baby. Another year has passed us by and we are finishing this series. Strap in for the final three episodes of this roller coaster of a series. You never know where we might just end up.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The triangular theory of love is a theory developed by Robert Sternberg. In the context of interpersonal relationships, the three components of love according to the triangular theory are, intimacy, passion, and a decision/commitment component. For Jake, he felt like love was more than just a triangular theory. Love is all-encompassing in every aspect of life. And if you look closely, love can be seen all around us in all different forms. 

“Bradshaw, now’s not the time man,” Jake sighed as he made his way back down the hospital hallway to your room, walking with his shoulders down and his ego battered and bruised. “I gotta fix an issue and my head’s not–” Before Jake could finish his sentence, Rooster interrupted with a crucial question he needed answered now. 

“How is your mother gonna react when I show up to take your kids?” The genuine concern in Bradley’s voice was clear enough for Jake to stay on the line as he walked. “Do I need to be concerned about her calling the cops?” 

“Dude,” Jake groaned to himself in frustration as he walked with purpose down the hall. He could feel his rage and frustration bubbling to the surface with every step he took. Who did this Jensen guy think he was? Who did Jake think he was? You didn’t ask for any of this and you definitely didn’t deserve his tantrum before. “She’s not gonna call the cops on you, just tell her to call me if you have any issues and get Jas to help you.” 

“Your mother is a terrifying woman–” Rooster added, just to rub salt into Jake’s already existing childhood wounds. 

“Well, at least she’s alive.” Jake had never regretted a sentence more in his life. The second he realised what he’d said and who he was speaking to, his heart fell straight out of his arse. “Bradshaw I didn’t mean–” Before Jake had a chance to speak, before he had a chance to explain that he wasn’t talking about Carole—he was talking about you—the line went dead. 

“Fuck!” Jake looked at his phone screen to see the call had indeed been ended. He felt the panic inside his chest. The guilt. 

Jake had developed a pretty uncanny ability to fuck things up. He couldn’t help himself at the moment. He was having a hard time regulating his emotions. It never had been his strong suit, but now it was worse than ever. Perhaps the idea of losing you forever was the cause. Jake couldn’t accept the possibility that there was a good to fair chance you might not walk away from this fight. 

But he could see the bottom of your bed again and where your feet were underneath the breathable hospital blanket that did nothing to keep you warm. With every step Jake took in the hall, he got closer and closer to where he’d left you. And with every step he took he tried to formulate an apology that would reflect his utter sorrow. His pain. His guilt. You were the first person that deserved an apology for Jake’s actions. Bradley would just have to wait. 

In hospitals, people see addiction every day. It’s shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be far too easy if it were just drugs, alcohol and cigarettes people were addicted to. The hardest part about kicking an addiction is wanting to kick it. I mean we get addicted for a reason, right?

Often, too often, things start as a normal part of your life and at some point, cross the line into obsessive needs, compulsive out of out-of-control desires. It’s the high people chase. The high that makes everything else…fade away. But nothing could make Jake Seresin fade away. Nothing so far had helped you kick the addiction. Not even when you left. 

The harsh reality about addiction is it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting you that high…stops feeling good and starts to hurt. So when the very person you were addicted to walked back into your hospital room, the hurt started all over again well and truly after the high had died down. 

“Okay,” Jake stopped in his tracks when he saw that look in your eyes. Although a sense of calm washed over him the second he saw you again, he knew he was probably the last person you wanted to see after the way he behaved before. “I recognised I’m in the wrong here.” It was the look he wished he’d never been on the receiving end of again. A look of disappointment mixed with anger, hatred, and, above all, sadness. “I owe you an apology.” 

“No thanks,” The tone you conveyed was sinister. There was no warmth. No love. No room for compassion or empathy. “I’m not interested in another empty apology.” You didn't even look Jake’s way. You just continued on with the little word finder you had picked up in Jensen and Jake’s absence. “If you’re done swinging your dick around in the hall like a psychopath, I need to rest.” 

Jake was stunned. He wasn’t sure how to respond. He knew he deserved that. He knew he’d taken things too far. He knew he’d flown over the handlebars the second Jensen stepped into your room. But it was all out of fear of losing you. Why couldn’t you see that? Jake felt as if he could stand right in front of you and you’d look straight through him. 

“Honey, don’t be like that,” Jake sighed as he took a few steps towards your bedside. The bouquet Jensen had brought you was lying haphazardly on the little bedside cupboard. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did alright, I know, and I promise you I’m trying here.” Jake sighed as he looked at the flowers another man had gone out of his way to buy you. A dying man. 

A dead man walking. 

“I’m glad you’re self-aware,” You replied yet again without paying any mind to Jake’s whereabouts in your room. “Never really was your strong suit.” You murmured just loud enough for Jake to hear your mild insult. You could have said it louder, hell, you should have. But regardless of Jake’s actions…he was an addictive drug. One that made it incredibly hard to kick the habit. One you knew you’d go back to. One you wished loved you the same way you loved him. 

“Jensen knocked some sense into me,” Jake tried his best to explain all the while he tried to hold back the lump in his throat. The kind of lump that brought tears and panic attacks with it. “He was kind enough to set the record straight.” 

“You understand how big of a piece of shit you have to be to say what you said, right?” It was the first time your tone had changed. There was something beyond painful in the way you spoke. Something Jake had tried time and time again not to be the cause of. Heartbreak. Betrayal even. “You jealous, insecure man.” 

For a second, Jake absorbed the blow. He took it on the chin like a champion because nothing you were saying was wrong. He was scared of losing the love of his life in a way that wasn’t just through marriage. 

“I know,” Jake replied as he picked up the bouquet and looked around. He was looking for somewhere to put them. Somewhere to display the beauty that they emulated. Beauty that reflected you. Where could he get a jug or something to put these in? “I don’t have an excuse to give you, honey,” Jake was trying his best to stick to the honesty is the best policy crap he’d been taught as a child. “I’m just, I got so worked up when he came in here knowing more about you than I did and–” 

“Jensen is a friend from group therapy,” You explained yet again. “And this is the last time I’m gonna say it before I let you run off with whatever version of a warped reality you wanna believe but I swear, there isn’t anyone else.” You sat up a little straighter in your bed as you closed your find-a-word book. “I have cancer, Jake. In what world would anyone want me?” 

“You love her, don’t you? You’re in love with my wife, say it.” Jake could hear himself asking the all-important question. He could see himself standing in the hall with the man who had selflessly intertwined his life with yours in order to make you feel less alone in the world.

“Maybe–” Jake vividly heard Jensens reply as he stood staring at the tears that fell down your cheeks. Tears he was the very cause of. “Maybe I love her, but I don’t get a chance to explore that, you do though.” 

“Me?” It was the sincerity in Jake’s voice that broke you as he put the bouquet down where he’d originally found it and made his way to sit beside you on your bed. “I want you forever and the very idea that some guy—some guy I know is a better man than I will ever be—brought you, my wife, flowers when I didn’t? Kills me.” 

“I don’t care about the flowers,” You sighed as Jake wrapped you up in his arms. 

“I know, but I let my own insecurities out in a way I never should have and I’m so sorry for the things I said. You don’t deserve that, ever.” It was genuine. The apology for his actions. Jake knew he was in the wrong with how he acted out. You could very clearly see that he was truly sorry. But letting him know that now would have been too easy. 

The pair of you sat in your hospital bed for the better half of five minutes silently enjoying each other’s presence and gentle touch. Until you broke. 

“I hope you aren’t expecting me to say apology accepted?” You smiled softly as you nuzzled into Jake’s chest a little more. Finding a comfortable position to rest in as you sunk lower in the hospital bed that wasn’t built for two fully grown human beings. 

“Nope,” Jake chuckled as he kissed the top of your head, freshly shaved and matching his own. “And I don’t think Rooster is gonna be accepting any apology I give him anytime soon, so the list is growing.” 

“What happened with Rooster?” You asked cautiously. You felt the tension take over your husband’s body as he processed what you‘d just asked. Jake held you a little tighter as he once again kissed the top of your freshly shaved head. The notes of your shampoo must have seeped into your scalp. He could still vividly smell the residual fragrance of bergamot. 

“Nothing that can’t be explained,” Jake sighed softly. He hated himself with a deep-rooted passion right now. The one thing he wanted to do more than anything else was take you home and pretend everything was alright for just one night. But he couldn’t do that. “Please, don’t worry about my mistakes when you have so much on your plate already. I’ll figure it out. Rooster and I always do.” 

“Hmm,” You replied with hesitation as you let your eyes close. The lup-dup of Jake’s heartrate soothed your soul, a heart that begged to be loved in all the ways he deserved to be loved. “I hope so. Martha Stewart’s best and closest friend said the words that sent her to prison,” You explained all the while Jake’s fingers drew unidentifiable objects into the supple skin of your forearm, careful not to mess with any of the tubes attached to you. It was grounding. “So whatever happened between you and Bradshaw I hope you fix it before he spills all your dirty little military secrets.” 

“Good thing you’re a true crime author, huh?” Jake smiled with a reluctance to give in to his biggest desire. What would be the repercussions of sneaking you out of this hospital right now? 

“No way you’re ending up in one of my books anytime soon,” You giggled softly. Jake felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of your happiness. You felt it too. The moment his heart decided it needed a second to process the laughter you let out. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, honey,” Although the circumstances said otherwise, for a second Jake felt like the luckiest guy on the planet. To be loved by you. To be the one you called home. To be the man you chose would forever be Jake’s greatest accomplishment in life. “I could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve you in any of them.” 

************************

“No signs of life.” 

There’s a reason surgeons learn to wield scalpels. They like to pretend they’re hard, cold scientists. They like to pretend they’re fearless. But the truth is they become surgeons because somewhere, deep down, they think they can cut away that which haunts us. 

Weakness, frailty, death. 

It isn’t just surgeons. It’s paramedics too. First responders like to think they have a hand in what fate holds for you. They believe that if they can move a little quicker, stop the bleeding a little faster, and save you from life-threatening injuries, they can give you extra time. Even for just a day. 

But the truth is, we don’t know a single person who isn’t haunted by something…or someone. And whether people try to slice the pain away with a scalpel, pull someone from a car wreck, or shove it in the back of a closet…our efforts usually fail. 

So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest…finally, finally…to rest. 

“Do we have any information on the victim?” Ilona shook her head as her unit chief looked around the scene. A single-car accident. The mangled wreck of twisted aluminium and shattered glass really painted a telling tale of destruction. No one could have survived the magnitude of injuries that they would have sustained on impact. 

“I’ll see if one of the guys picked up a phone or something, perhaps it’s still viable,” Ilona replied in a monotone voice. She was new to the horrors that her job sometimes brought with it. The hurricane forced winds that would sometimes knock her right off her feet. But she was learning how to work through the plethora of different emotions in a professional manner. “Poor guy, what do you think happened?” 

The black body bag laid out on the stretcher was a not-so-gentle reminder that life was a precious gift. Paramedics carried the deceased man until they were loading him into the back of the van. No sirens would be needed for this particular patient. 

“Crash investigation should have a report for us in about a week,” Taylor, the unit chief, replied as he watched the doors to the ambulance close with a thud. “We’ll need to get an ID as soon as possible to inform the family.” 

“I have a phone!!” Ilona heard the explanation from one of her co-workers. She turned with a grin on her face back to her boss. 

“We have a phone,” She repeated. “I’ll get right on it chef.” 

************************

Lydia still felt awful. She hadn’t quite shaken the existential dread that came with her almost career-ending mistake. She sat behind the desk at the nurses station just replaying the events back in her mind. How could she just assume someone to be someone’s emergency contact? 

In retrospect, Lydia now understood clear as daylight that relationships were interpersonal and held deeper value than what was on paper. Jake Seresin may not have been your emergency contact, but he sure was the love of your life. 

“You want me to do her observations?” Lydia heard one of her colleagues ask with a snicker. They all knew by this point in time what she had done. But now wasn’t the time to retreat and fall back. If she wanted to get past this, she needed to put on a brave face. 

“Nope,” Lydia shook her head as he rose to her feet. “I’ve got it,” She explained with a faux smile. “Is he not intimidating?” 

“Mr. Seresin?” Her colleague, Rebecca, replied with a mouthful of two-minute noodles she’d been scoffing down in the small window of reprieve. “Guy’s like a labrador. I mean, that is if you didn’t fuck up his wife’s chart badly enough to call the wrong person labelled clearly as an emergency contact.” 

“Ha. Ha.” Lydia barely had the time or the energy to humour her coworkers as they giggled and snickered as she made her way into your room. Jake was wide awake. He hadn’t noticed Lydia standing in the threshold of the door. But Lydia noticed how he held you with such care as you slept soundly. 

“Oh,” She cooed softly as she knocked her knuckles against the door. “Sorry to interrupt Mr. Seresin but I need to take some observations for Dr. Ignati.” 

“Would it be alright if she slept for even just five more minutes?” Jake was quick to advocate on your behalf. He could tell just how tired and overwhelmed with everything you’d become. Now that he was here and by your side, he was going to make sure you got the best possible treatment there was to offer. 

Lydia looked around at the Christmas lights that hung around your room. They twinkled and changed colour on a whim, never staying the same colour for long. The way they hung like they’d been thrown all over the place added a joyful smile across her face. 

“I’m sure I can take my time,” Lydia agreed as she approached your bedside. “How’s she been feeling?” 

“As good as you’d expect to feel given the circumstances, kid,” Jake replied with a yawn. He was able to stretch his limbs a little as he did so. Although, with every move he cautiously made, Jake was careful not to disturb you. “I assume her surgery is still going ahead as planned?” 

“As far as I’m aware,” Lydia confirmed as she checked over your chart and wrote down what she saw on your monitors. “Dr. Ignati should be around earlier in the morning to discuss everything once more.” 

“How long have you been working here?” Jake asked. He thought some small talk would be beneficial for not only him but for Lydia too. He could tell the question struck a nerve but pressed on nevertheless. “Because if I’m being perfectly honest, it doesn’t seem like very long.” 

“Eight months now,” Lydia replied with a short tone. Jake chuckled to himself as he watched her cross out what she had previously written and wrote down what she had originally intended. “Can you tell I’m also not very good at my job?” 

“It doesn’t seem out of ignorance,” Jake offered up his version of advice. “I just think you’re rushing things.” The advice didn’t fall on deaf ears like Jake thought it might. Instead, Lydia stopped what she was doing and took a nice deep long breath in. “In my line of work, things can go wrong in the blink of an eye,” Jake explained as he gently rubbed small circles into the palm of your hand with his thumb. If he was careful, he could feel the throbbing of your pulse point. “Gotta learn how to trust your instincts.” 

“My last instinct was that you were your wife’s emergency contact,” Lydia didn’t feel as if she needed to remind Jake of her biggest mistake of all time, but she did anyway. Jake understood what it was like to stay hung up on mistakes he couldn’t change. But he knew what he was about to say next would ease the burden Lydia was feeling. 

“Honestly, that’s more on me than it is on you,” Jake sighed as you stirred in his arms. He hoped you‘d stay asleep for just a little longer. You needed it. You deserved to rest soundly. 

“How so?” Lydia asked softly as went back to her duties. What Jake said to her next, however, had Lydia looking at the situation she found herself in from a different perspective. And sometimes a little perspective is all you need. 

“Well, I shouldn’t have let it get to a point where I wasn’t.” 

************************

Life gets easier when you realise that there’s no such thing as a wrong decision. Decisions are simply pivots. Each one you make will take you down a new road that will likely be both magic and miserable. Beautiful and ugly. That’s because life is a polarity. Easy doesn’t exist without hard. Good doesn’t exist without bad. 

There is no right or wrong answer. Trust that whatever decision you make can always be followed by another decision. 

“I hate this,” You mumbled as you walked to the bathroom with your IV support poll. “I already hate all of this so much.” You knew you were feeding into the depression, but you couldn’t help but feel down in the dumps about your current situation. 

“I think everything you’re feeling is valid, honey,” Jake answered as he trailed behind, giving you the independence he knew you wanted to keep but also staying close by in case you needed him. “After surgery–” Jake couldn’t even finish the sentence he’d planned to speak into existence.

“Don’t mention surgery,” You interrupted as you made your way over to the shower. “I don’t even wanna think about the surgery tomorrow.” 

“You do know that even if you ignore it, you still have to have surgery?” Jake asked as he frowned his brows and looked at you through the mirror. “We’re on the same page about that, right?” 

“What if I told you I’m just scared and don’t want anything to happen while I’m cut open like a fish?” You sassed as you looked back at Jake through the mirror. “If something happens–” 

“Hey, nothing's gonna happen,” Jake was quick to close the small gap between the two of you. He stood so close that your back pressed up against his chest. His eyes never left yours through the mirror you stood before. “I won’t let anything happen to you, or the kids for that matter.” 

“You left the kids with your mother,” You reminded your husband as he pressed his lips into a tight line of regret. “That alone is gonna cause them enough trauma Mr. ‘I won’t let anything happen to the kids’”

“You wound me, sweetheart,” Jake sighed as he tilted his head back and let out a sigh. “Besides, it’s actually you she hates, not the kids,” 

“Do you wanna help me shower or not?” You finally turned around to stand face-to-face with Jake. He was already smirking ear to ear. And it didn’t take long at all before his hands were dropping to your waist, slowly but surely making their slightly calloused way to the exposed skin of your ass. The hospital gown left little to the imagination. Jake wasn’t complaining. 

“When have I ever passed up the opportunity to see you naked?” Jake replied with a smirk you recognised was laced with lust. You felt him squeeze softly at your arse cheek playfully. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” 

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” You giggled as Jake made sure to count the staples on your head. He knew whatever came next would have to be soft. It would have to be gentle and full of love. Not that it ever wasn’t full of love. 

“You drive me crazy, honey,” Jake explained as he caught your lips with his. You couldn’t help but to melt into his body as you kissed him back. Jake’s hands kneaded at the handfuls of arse he never wanted to let go of as he moaned into your mouth. 

The feeling was electric. The moan your husband let out sent shivers down your spine. It was an animalistic attraction that you’d tried so hard to suppress in your separation. But no toy on earth could satisfy you like Jake could. Not even when they were bought with his money. 

“I love you so much,” Jake cooed as he pulled back just enough to let his forehead rest against yours. “You’re gonna get through this, I promise,” He left it at that as you wrapped your arms around his waist for a much-needed hug. 

When you let go, you took a moment to drink in the sight of your husband. You stared at all the perfect little imperfections that littered his skin. The bags under his eyes were more prominent than normal. That was to be expected though. 

“Jake?” You cooed as you reached up to swipe the pad of your thumb across his lower lip. 

“I’m right here,” Jake replied as he kept his eyes closed. If he opened them he knew the tears he was trying so desperately to keep in would fall. If he cried in front of you he'd never be able to stop himself. 

“I need you to wake up for me, alright?” 

“What did you say?” Jake frowned as he opened his eyes and looked at you all confused. He knew what you said. He heard it crystal clear. But he needed you to repeat it. He needed to hear you say it again, just once. The fluorescent bathroom light flickered as he stared at you. For a second…Jake stood alone in a hospital room he didn’t recognise. Only for him to find himself standing right before you again in the blink of an eye. “Honey?” 

“I said I need you to get my phone for me?” You repeated calmly. “My phone is ringing and if I try to race to it I won't get there in time.” The explanation fit the response you gave him. Jake thought for a moment there he was going crazy. He needed more sleep, that was without a doubt the answer to his second of madness. 

Jake silently nodded in agreement before he kissed your forehead. He was only gone for a few seconds before he returned with your phone. Still ringing. 

“Who is it?” You asked as you reached out to take your phone from Jake. By the look smeared across his face, it wasn't someone he necessarily liked. 

“It’s your boyfriend,” Jake teased as he handed you your phone. Based on that comment alone you knew it was Jensen. 

“Careful Seresin,” You teased lovingly, hoping Jake believed what you had told him earlier. “He might be my next husband if you don't play your cards right.” 

Jake knew you were kidding and if anything he deserved that comeback. He didn't like the guy, that much was true. But he could see how having someone who knew what it was like to not know your own body could be beneficial to the mind. 

“You caught me at a bad time,” Jake watched as you answered the phone and held it up to your ear. “I–oh,” You paused. The immediate worry that took over the expanse of your face was enough to have the little hairs on the back of Jake's neck standing on edge. 

“Jensen Huges–” The name hung heavy in the air around you as you listened to the woman on the other end of the line. According to her, there had been a small piece of paper tucked into the phone case of this particular phone at the scene of an accident. Your name. Your number. “Oh, no, no don't tell me that,” You begged. 

Jake was unable to hear what was being said in the silence, but as he watched your eyes well with tears, he knew. 

“Y/n, give me the phone, honey,” He whispered as he gestured to your phone. You shook your head in response as you continued to listen to the woman who had introduced herself as Ilona. A police officer with the Rhode Island police. “Sweetheart?” Jake cooed as he reached out for you. The second his fingertips grazed your shoulder…You fell. “Shit–” 

“NOOOOOOO!” The guttural scream you let out scared Jake to his very core. He’d never in his life heard you sound the way you did as you crumbled on the floor in the bathroom. “NOOOOOO!” 

“Baby, baby I'm here, what happened?” Jake asked softly as he cupped your face in his hands. Your phone was long forgotten. It had crashed down when you did. “Tell me what happened so I can help you, honey?” 

“He–he left me,” You managed to gasp out between sobs. “And I can’t–I can’t breathe, Jake, I ca–” 

“Hey, I’ve got you,” Jake promised you as he held you tightly in his arms. “It’s gonna be alright,” Jake seemed to have been in the business of making promises he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep. He had no fucking idea if things would be alright. But he needed them to be. 

“I can't do this without him,” You cried out in utter anguish. “He, he was the st-strongest,” Jake could tell where this was going as you struggled to speak through your grief-stricken sobs. “If he—then I,” 

“I’ve lost count of all the rooms you've been tall in Y/n,” It broke his heart to see you like this. So full of heartbreak. So full of hopelessness. “You gotta keep fighting, I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” 

“I don't know how to!” You admitted to not only yourself but to your husband as well. “I don't know how!” 

“I’m right here, honey,” Jake held you as tight as he could on the bathroom floor. “You don't have a choice,” He explained as you cried your heart out in a way Jake had never seen you cry before. He could hear your voice echoing in his head. 

“You need to wake up,”

“You need to wake up,”

“You need to wake up,”

“Don't give up on me now Y/n, I can't lose you to this alright?” Jake felt his own tears streaming down his cheeks. The tears he no longer had the strength to fight. The way you willed yourself to wake up from this nightmare you were living broke his heart into pieces. The tears he no longer had the strength to fight. “Please, you gotta keep fighting this.” 

“He was the stronger one,” You replied as you cried yourself into a ball in Jake's arms. Clutching at his arms as your nails dug into his forearms. Grief was a funny thing. “I can't–” 

“You have to,” Jake cried with you. He was losing the love of his life and there was nothing he could do to stop this nightmare from happening. “I’m gonna be right here every step.” 

“I just want you to wake up,” It was all you said. Jake knew he heard you that time. He heard you loud and clear… “Please, don't leave me,” 

But he had no idea what you were saying. 

**********************************

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @marvelogic

@itsmytimetoodream @maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional

@jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere

@withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog

@a-reader-and-a-writer @sunlightmurdock @shelbycillian @memoriesat30

@accioprocrastination @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes @eternallyvenus @emma8895eb @kmc1989

[hana-no-seiiki]

cat villain reader my beloved. I'm so obsessed with it already. Please tell us more.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA THEY ASKED FOR IT SO YOU CANT BLAME ME NOW F-

@sophiethewitch1 hi here’s your daily schizophrenic voice giving you even more mental illness

another short one cause im still lazy asf

I feel like a broken record just playing different flavors of the same oc/reader on my blog with the batfam i swear

tim is the only batfam member who figured out your identity prior to your own snooping

mostly because bruce’s identity was already aired out to your by selina and damian being his blood born son + appearing out of nowhere was a given.

as such it provided a lot of interesting scenarios

such as that one week where you were extremely active in your heists. like more so than the usual which was already a lot.

of course, you always tried to keep a sense of mystery as your cat villain self so asking you as robin wouldn’t have worked

so tim decided to approach you in class ( you were his senior or maybe even a young, fresh out of uni prof) and ask you why you seemed so…different or frantic lately

“oh. am i?” tim narrowed his eyes. it was so you to answer with another question, even as a civilian.

“sorry, i’m just really excited about this new limited edition robin figure of the new guy in the suit and—“

you proceeded to go on a ramble about your headcannons of the dude, saying how different and/or similar he was to robins of the past and ofc how much you admired him

this leads to his eventual downward spiral into depravation and horny

oh and unrelated to the boys, my headcannons for reader’s powers are as follows (mostly inspired from cat related cartoon characters)

invisibility/teleportation (from kitty chesire)

and cataclysm (from chat noir)

okay back to the boys

you and jason definitely had the biggest enemies to lovers arc out of everyone

like next to dick and damian, jason and you definitely hated each other’s guts

at that time you were dating dick and wanted him to stay as robin. pretty much in denial and anger, which led to you lashing out on jason.

at that time you still had hope for batman’s parenting skills and wanted jason to not take the opportunity he was given for granted

eventually you two found a lot in common and after a lot of deliberating and losing your mind with thoughts of “what ifs” and “but what about”s you broke it off with dick to pursue him

only to find out that jason was killed

people that knew you say you moved on pretty quickly. as if he was no more than a passing thought in your pretty little head.

but people like selina knew that out of everyone on this planet, the incident broke you the most

turning you into this near-empty husk, an imitation of what you were like

only filled with fear and anxiety

you would hurt people more, be more reckless

and boy do these men like playing savior to the fallen like you.

EXTRA:

i absolutely believe that as soon as you found out red hood was jason you two boned. like literally on whatever street/alleyway/battle you guys were in

emotions were high

and you two definitely cried the whole time im not sorry-

also you two always quote pride and prejudice lines at eachother

went from rabid dog that bit you several times to your goodest boy fr fr

[yesimwriting]

Safe

A/n this was originally meant to be a smaller drabble but it spiraled, also i'm rewatching outer banks and am deep in my jj era <3

Warnings/info: the time period isn’t super relevant but i did write it with mid-ish season 1 in mind, kook!reader, reader smoking for the first time, kinda sheltered reader, jj having a bit of an attitude at first, and my first time writing for a character so pls be nice 😭

Summary: As the newest addition to Figure 8, you haven’t been able to make many friends outside of Sarah Cameron, no matter how hard she tries to get her friend group to bend their no-kook rule. But after JJ pulls you aside at a party, you start to think that you may not be as much of a lost cause as you thought.

----

Thinking about JJ whose little more to you than a fixture of Sarah's friend group, the same group that's too hesitant to bend their no-kooks rule for a girl that Sarah's only recently started hanging out with for you to ever feel fully welcomed around them.

Sure, most of Sarah's friends are nice enough--John B a little more amicable than the others because he's Sarah's boyfriend, and Pope's been happy enough to make conversation with you since after the first time you drank a little too much in front of them (apparently, you're a lot funnier when you're tipsy).

The second half of Sarah's friend group has an easier time openly holding onto their doubts. And you can't even really fault them for it. Kiara's faced the social brutality of your world enough times to warrant her doubts and JJ has every reason to hate kooks.

It doesn't mean it never feels awkward, though. Like when Sarah invites you to a party and then innocently leaves you alone for five minutes just for you to almost immediately accidentally lock eyes with JJ.

He's across the room, standing next to Pope and a guy you don't recognize. Pope's too caught up in friendly conversation to notice you standing there, but for whatever reason, JJ's head is turned towards you. He watches you with an openness that'd be a lot more unnerving if you hadn't recently finished your third drink of the night. You stare back, if for no other reason than to try to decipher the slight draw of his eyebrows.

For a second, you think he might do something. Not necessarily wave you over, but maybe nod or smile politely or offer anything that implies at least acquaintanceship. Instead, he allows his gaze to shift downwards at a pace that feels a little too deliberate before returning to his conversation.

You sigh, a lot more agitated by the snub than you've let yourself be about anything. Before you can fully lean into the feeling, there's a voice, "Hey." You turn, surprised by the closeness of the sound. "You're new, right?"

You blink, wondering if the question is an assumption rooted in your lack of familiarity or in the way you're carrying yourself. Maybe a little of both considering you can't remember ever seeing this guy.

"Yeah," you confirm with a polite nod, "My family and I moved right before summer break."

The stranger nods back: “Cool," he mumbles, "We don't get a lot of new people." There's nothing sharp about the way he says it, but something about the sentiment makes it difficult to not sarcastically let him know that you've noticed. It's not that anyone's been particularly cruel about you being new, it's just hard to move to a town where most friendships were cemented in sandboxes and on swing sets.

When the guy you don't know continues to watch you, you realize that you've yet to respond to him. "Yeah," it's only a little more deflated than you wanted it to be. You shift your weight from one foot to the other before amending your statement, "But everyone's been pretty nice so far."

"I'm sure," he breathes the words out like they're some joke you're not privy to. If the stranger notes your confusion, he gives no indication of it. "And I'm about to be a whole lot nicer..." He reaches into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out something that takes you a second too long to recognize as a joint.

Oh. Your fingers press themselves into your palms. It's not that you're against the idea of smoking, it's just not something you were expecting to do for the first time tonight. Especially with some guy you don't know.

He places the joint between his lips before pulling a lighter from his pocket. The stranger takes his time inhaling the smoke before extending his arm in a silent offering. When you don't immediately jump into action, he prompts you, "Come on..." He takes a step towards you, "Think of it as a welcome gift."

The more you think about it, the less the idea bothers you. This isn't how you saw your night going, but getting high with some guy you just met has to be better than awkwardly waiting for Sarah or forcing yourself onto people who don't really want you around.

You lift your hand, but before your fingers can touch his, something warm and hard presses into your shoulder. You step back, too surprised to really try escaping the force that just latched itself onto your arm.

"Hey, princess." You sigh. It's JJ--just JJ, whose addressing you with a familiarity he's never directed towards you. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

Really. You don't know what his issue is, but clearly, he has one because why else would he pointedly ignore you just to do this when someone besides Sarah starts being nice to you? You part your lips, ready to tell him as much when his hand moves off your arm and comes to rest around your shoulders. He tugs you towards him, making it impossible to ignore his warmth.

JJ straightens slightly, turning his attention to the guy in front of you. "Mind if I steal her for a second?"

The guy frowns. "Uh..." He pulls his arm towards himself. "No, man, go ahead."

JJ offers him a tight lipped smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. With that, he begins to walk forward, arm still around you.

He's quick, making his way through the crowded living room and into a less familiar hallway with long strides that are nearly impossible for you to keep up with. "J--JJ" He doesn't react. "What--"

Before you can get the question out, JJ stalls in front of a shut door. He opens it, ushering you into the new room with a startlingly gentle squeeze of your shoulder. JJ's right behind you, shutting the door behind him.

JJ exhales, the sound sharp and a lot more frustrated than you've ever heard him be. While JJ might not like you, he's never been mad at you. He's never been mean to you. At least, not in a way that transcends occasional bouts of passive aggression.

You're quiet for a moment, attention briefly shifting away from him and onto your surroundings. His sudden interest in you was so distracting, you hadn't really thought about where he might've been taking you. You're both standing in a bedroom now. Completely alone. More alone than you've ever been with him.

The realization is something that you immediately force yourself to push past. He's the one that ruined your chance at hanging out with someone that wanted you around. "What's your problem?"

"My problem," from him, the phrase sounds ridiculous. Like you’re the crazy one for not already understanding his actions. He scoffs, shaking his head once. "Did you even know that guy?"

There's no good answer. Your lips part, a half thought out lie resting against the back of your throat. After a second, you decide against it. He'd be able to tell. "Does it matter?"

He scoffs again, this time the sound even sharper than before. "I guess book smart doesn't count for everything."

"Hey--"

"Did you even ask him what he was smoking?"

You sigh, crossing your arms in front of your chest. "No, because I was hoping it was full of hard drugs that'd kill me." You lift your chin slightly in an attempt to force yourself to hold his gaze, "I know what weed looks like."

He stills, eyeing you in a way that you don't understand. You guess you can't really blame him for his surprise. You doubt you’ve ever directed your sarcasm at him.

JJ's quick to refocus, his frustration returning so quickly it nearly gives you whiplash, "It could have been laced with anything. Just because you look like you came out of a princess movie doesn't mean you live in one."

You press your lips together, deeply unimpressed by the thought of JJ Maybank of all people giving you a safety lecture. You might not know him well enough to have personally witnessed the extent of his recklessness, but Sarah's told you enough stories for you to understand that he's being a total hypocrite.

And while you'd be completely justified in calling him out, there's something about the way he's watching you that tells you he doesn't want to hear it. "I'm not stupid, I saw him smoke it himself first."

JJ scoffs for the third time. You roll your eyes. "It's a party, lighten up."

He's studying you with an openness that even the alcohol in your system can't make a bearable. You swallow in an attempt to ignore the feeling. JJ takes a step forward, and then another, moving at an agonizingly measured pace until he's so close you have to tilt your head to hold his gaze.

You're not sure what he's looking for, but his assessment ends with his lips pulling themselves into a smirk. "You've never smoked before, have you?"

Your skin feels a little warmer than it did a second ago. It'd be an easy enough thing to deny, but then you wouldn't just be someone who hasn't smoked weed before, you'd also be the girl insecure enough to have lied about it.

You sigh, letting your arms fall to your side. "I'm going back to the party," the claim is a lot more certain than you feel. "But if I decide to go upstairs and ask Sarah's brother for a line, you'll be the first to know."

The sentence leaves an uncomfortable heat crawling up your neck. It wasn't exactly a cruel thing to say, but it wasn't nice either. JJ may not be your best friend but anyone in proximity of either of them is well aware of the issues between him and Rafe.

You swallow in an attempt to dismiss your regret. You force your gaze to the ground as you shift forward. He's standing in front of the door, but he'd--he'll move if you make it clear you're leaving.

His hand finds your forearm before you can turn fully. Maybe the Rafe comment had been too much. "JJ--"

He presses his lips together, expression uninterpretable as he watches you. "I didn't know you were such a brat." When you give him no sign of recognition, he continues, "You hear 'no' for the first time in your life and you throw a fit."

You glare. "Maybe it's because it's not your place to tell me not to do anything."

"So next time I see you doing something unsafe I should just let you?"

He's still holding onto your arm, which would be a lot more irritating if wasn't for the way that he carefully dragged his thumb against your skin. If you really wanted space, you would have tried pulling away by now.

You let out a breath. JJ had no right to do what he did, but he didn't mean it in a bad way. And that has to count for something. "And you're always so safe?"

His eyebrows draw together at that. "For you--safer than him."

Your lips part, but before you can begin to explain that that's not how you meant it, he releases you.

JJ's hand finds his pocket. He gives you no indication of what he might be looking for until he's pulled it out of his pocket. "You want to smoke? At least do it with someone who isn't going to leave you passed out at a party or worse."

You'd roll your eyes, but you're too happy with your newfound peace to risk it. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a lighter before bringing the joint to his lips. He inhales, holding the smoke in his lungs before letting it out.

He extends his arm, offering you the joint. You eye him curiously, wondering how much of this is coming from a place of pity.

"It's a party," he mumbles, elevating his pitch in an attempt to mimic you, "Lighten up."

You halfheartedly glare at the use of your own words against you as you reach for the joint. JJ watches you as you place the joint between your lips. You follow his example, inhaling for a long second before pulling it away.

He places a hand on your back, smoothing comforting circles against your upper spine. "Hold it." You listen as best you can, resisting the urge to exhale until JJ tells you to let it out. To your surprise, he doesn't tease you for the raspy cough that follows. Instead, JJ just continues to trace circles against your back until you can breathe fully again. "There you go."

After you recover, he takes another hit. You watch him expectantly, but instead of giving the joint back to you, he shakes his head. "You're gonna wait a second." You frown. "Don't give me that look, baby."

You ignore the uncomfortable warmth settling in your chest. You barely even talk to JJ and you're already used to his never ending plethora of nicknames, but something about hearing that now, after he's been so nice and patient and so many things you never thought JJ could be...

Maybe you can blame your shift in perspective on the beginning of your high.

JJ steps back with no warning, taking another hit as he walks past you and towards the bed. He sits, sighing as he relaxes himself against the pillows. After he's settled, JJ lazily extends his arm, patting the space next to him. "Sit with me?"

You walk forward slowly, steps measured until you're standing directly in front of the bed. "Wasn't there a guy walking around earlier telling everyone to stay out of the bedrooms?"

He lifts his head just enough to look at you. "If you don't want people in your house, don't throw a house party."

Though oversimplified, a relatively fair point..and you are starting to feel tired in a way you don't understand, a bone deep drowsiness that's as heavy as it is light. You walk towards the other side of the bed before sitting next to him.

If you seem as hesitant as you feel, JJ gives no indication of noticing as he shifts, moving to sit closer to you. Before you can react to the proximity, JJ takes your hand. You let him squeeze your palm to his. "Feeling okay, princess?"

You nod, the motion oddly thought consuming. "Yeah, like--really okay." You don't realize how much you mean it until you've said it. "I think I get it now."

JJ lets out a breath that feels like a laugh. "Get what?"

He bends his leg, letting his knee press against your leg. His skin is warm in a way that reminds you of summer. You don't think twice about leaning into the feeling, relaxing your arm so that it can press against his. "A better question would be what don't I get?"

This time, he actually does laugh, the sound bright and much too enjoyable. You laugh too, if for no other reason than to have something in common with him.

"Well, since weed makes you so much nicer," he ignores your pointed glare, "You can smoke with me whenever you want as long as you promise to always call daddy JJ first."

You sit up, lifting your head slightly to look at him. "Do you really want to have just called yourself that?"

He grins shamelessly, gently pulling your hand towards his chest. "I'd rather you call me that..."

You let out a sigh, relaxing against your pillow in an attempt to dismiss the warmth settling beneath your face. "Don't--I was just starting to think you might be a tiny bit likable."

JJ groans like your words have deeply wounded him. "A tiny bit?" He presses your arm into his chest, dragging his fingertips up and down your forearm. "I thought we were better friends than that."

Friends. You frown, turning your attention towards the wall in front of you. "Well, ignoring me earlier knocked you down a few points."

His hand stills against your arm. "I wasn't--" He sighs. "I--I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk to me or if you were there with that guy and then I was going to--" JJ shakes his head. "I was an asshole."

It's not exactly an apology, but you'll take it. "Kinda."

He starts tracing patterns against your forearm again. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

The thought of pushing for details is tempting, but nowhere near as overwhelming as the heaviness behind your eyelids. You're leaning before you can stop yourself, you head finding JJ's shoulder. "I'm sure."

He drags his nails against your skin. "You're sleepy." It's not a question, but you're about to protest anyway. "It's okay, I'll be here when you wake up."

And for some reason, the assurance is enough to get you to close your eyes.

----

i had fun writing this and kind of want to expand this dynamic so if you'd like to see a part 2 of this or anything jj related in general pls lmk !!

[decayofroses]

Succession war Kurapika

I've completed all the available HXH chapters (400), and there were a few scenes that really stood out to me with Kurapika.

I love and adore him as the main character of this arc, and we've seen his perspective and his downward spiral in yorknew.

Seeing him now, and how far he's strayed definitely makes his POV the most interesting to me.

I wanted to point out/ talk about some of the panels throughout the SW.

This panel especially stood out to me, and it's one of my favorites out of the entire manga. He mentions how every time he got a part of his brethren back- he lost something. While I think it could be a physical presence, I think he's talking about himself here more than anything.

Each time he's threatened, coaxed, paid people off, he's lost a part of himself.

Kurapika strays away from his relationships, while to protect them- and also what I believe is out of guilt (and the other which I'll go over in a moment). I think he knows what he's doing to himself, and I don't think he can handle facing it head on, or risking harming his friends physically or emotionally.

And again, when Kurapika agrees to join the zodiacs.

Straying even from Leorio, it's clear he'd rather face things alone, and without distractions. Which is exactly what they are, distractions.

His quest to collect his family is coming to an end. "Where would I go?" I think he means this in a literal, and metaphorical sense. Where will he end up by the end of this? Which path will he go down? He has no place to call home, and he truly believes he has nothing left, and nobody to welcome him back.

Despite having allies, and who quickly became close friends.

He didn't realize it at the time, but shortly after teaming up with Bill and others- he understood the importance of allies.

"Things didn't proceed so simply", things weren't as simple as gathering pawns, and walking the path of revenge alone.

He formed genuine bonds that mean more to him than simple pawns for his quest. He's now torn between his isolation, and his care for his friends. Despite this, he will continue to punish himself and walk this path alone- it's much harder than he'd originally intended. Pushing his friends away to complete his goal, because it serves as his only purpose in his eyes. Even if he knows it's wrong.

Oito asks if spying on the 4th prince is for his convenience. Kurapika takes a moment, and tells her this is simply a strategic choice. I don't think he's lying, but I do think he wants to protect her, and wobble- while still keeping contact with the Prince.

At the moment, he will prioritize protecting the two of them. I think it happens to align with his goal, but it isn't necessarily for his convenience.

The reason I bring this up is to highlight that despite the fact he wants to push his friends away, and work towards his goal- he won't risk the lives of others.

He says he will repeat it as many times as needed, that they are there to protect her and the prince. To trust him.

He tries to be someone who will risk everything for the sake of recovering the eyes, but deep down he can't. Much like how he cannot truly abandon his friends, only isolate himself.

Kurapika is loyal, and unwilling to sacrifice others for the sake of his goal. He forced a stalemate, and took advantage of his nen knowledge to level out the playing field. A stalemate buys them more time, making it so it won't be as easy for experienced nen users to take advantage of non nen users.

It was a brilliant idea that may be risky, but also offers protection for him, and the queen.

During this conversation with Mizaistom, it's clear that Kurapika has not abandoned all of his morals, he wants to avoid killing the Prince despite having the remaining eyes. He would rather try other methods, and is opposed to killing.

Mizaistom and Kurapikas dynamic is one of my favorites, but that's for another time.

That's all I have to talk about, for now. I wanted to go over my favorite panels, and his relationships in the succession war.

[lees-chaotic-brain]

How would jjk men react to reader being pregnant with quadruplets?

Feat. Gojo, Yuta, Inumaki, Nanami, Megumi, Itadori (all characters are aged up)

Note: I did headcanons for this request because there were so many characters I wanted to include, and it would get a little boring to write the same scenario out in a full fledged fic like seven times. However, if there are one or two that you want me to turn into proper fics lmk!! I had to do research on pregnancy for this bc it's been awhile since my high school health class

CW: pregnancy, implied thoughts of abortion ig, mentions of fear regarding labor, AFAB reader bc, yk, pregnancy, one singular swear word

Word Count: 1.2k

JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation

Gojo

I feel like Gojo would think you were joking at first, and wouldn’t believe you until you got frustrated and he finally realized you were being for real. He would have mixed emotions. On one hand, he was excited to have a big family and a house full of laughter and love. On the other hand, he was afraid, because more babies meant more defenseless mini-people for him to protect.

He had only known that he was going to be a father of quadruplets a few minutes ago, but he already knew that it would destroy him if he ever lost one of them. That he would gladly give his life for them. And then there was the matter of you. He already knew that childbirth was difficult for women, but quadruplets?? Childbirth was something that even he couldn’t protect you from and that terrified him. 

After a serious discussion in which he made sure you were okay with the added risks and you continuously reassured him that this was what you wanted, he settled down and began imagining a future for your family. Until he realized that he would have to share your love with four little gremlins who would surely take after their clingy father. Then it suddenly seemed less appealing.

Yuta

Baby boy would be shooketh. Because he’s sorry please don’t be mad at him and oh you’re not mad at him and the two of you are having quadruplets well technically you are but he’s the dad and oh god what if he’s not good at being a dad and-

You would have to calm him down as he fell into a downward spiral. Once you had properly reassured him, and he had fully absorbed the information he was ecstatic. He has always wanted a big family, and together the two of you were making that dream come true. Cuddling up to you he would thank you for loving him and gifting him with the many kids he had always dreamed of having.

He for sure would be the type to rub your stomach and whisper sweet nothings to the growing babies in your womb, telling them how much daddy loves them and how excited he is to meet them.

He would also start baby-proofing every square inch of your house before you had even started your second trimester.

Inumaki

He would be in shock. Because he put- wait how many??? babies in you. There was no way he heard you right. There was no way that you were pregnant with quadruplets. Because, wait, he didn't sign up for this! Yeah, he wanted tons of kids, but four babies at a time was a lot. And the strain it would have on your body was concerning as well. 

After he stopped opening and closing his mouth as he gaped at you, he managed to organize his thoughts. First he wanted to make sure you even wanted that many kids because, well, it wouldn’t be easy to give birth to or take care of that many. Once you had reassured him that you were, in fact, sure that you wanted to go through with the pregnancy and that you were prepared for whatever the future held for your not-so-little family he took a moment to process his own emotions.

At first he was conflicted. Sure he was excited, but he held his own private reservations. What if something went wrong during labor? What if he wasn’t cut out to be the parent of one kid, let alone four. But as the months sped by and your stomach grew, the anticipation grew, until one day he let go of any and all trepidation and allowed himself to be optimistic.

He also bought tons of matching onesies for the whole family.

Nanami

Ever the responsible adult and caring husband, first he sat you down and had a serious discussion about the pros and cons of having quadruplets, and whether or not the risks were worth it. Deep down he was thrilled, but he wanted to make sure the two of you were on the same page and understood what continuing meant.

Once the two of you had established you were going to see this through, and it was something the two of you wanted his planning would begin. First came the research. He thoroughly educated himself on everything regarding pregnancy, learning everything he needed to do to ensure your comfort and the healthy birth of his children.

Expect a special diet plan that fulfills the needs of you and your unborn children in the healthiest way possible, essential oil massages, weekly check-ups starting your second trimester, vitamin gummies and more.

He also would begin saving up because raising four children would be expensive. Would for sure have a whole financial plan set up and college savings accounts set up for each of his children within a week of his learning.

Megumi

Honestly, he wouldn’t have super strong feelings about it. He wanted to be a dad, but he didn’t care if it was one, four, or one hundred. He just wanted to have kids with you, and beyond that as long as you were happy he was too. 

So when you told him, his only response was asking you what you thought about it. When you told him you were excited, he was excited too. He had wanted to build his own family for as long as he could remember, and you were helping him reach his dream. What more could he ask for? The only other thing that mattered to him was that his children had siblings. As a kid he had resented Tsumiki, but as an adult he couldn’t imagine the loneliness he would have experienced growing up without her. So yeah. If you were happy, and his children would have siblings so they would never have to walk through life alone, he was content.

There was nothing more he wanted in life than your love and a family with you.

Itadori

Kids!!! He had wanted a ton of kids, so this was perfect! You were happy with it, so even better! He sees it as a four-in-one deal, and is over the moon. His golden retriever personality becomes even worse when you’re pregnant. Like, this man is at your side 24/7.

Constantly following you around, looking at you with big pleading eyes as he begs to cuddle in bed with you so he can talk to your stomach.

Oh my god talking to your stomach. This man would talk to your stomach more than he talks to you. Asking what your kids want to be named. Telling your unborn babies about his day. That he loves them and can’t wait to meet them. Describes all the fun things the six of you are going to do once they’re born. Definitely tries cuddling your stomach because he ‘wants to know what it feels like to hold his children.’

Also is a little shit that constantly asks ‘are they coming yet? Why not??’