#it’s just something he has to do if he wants to be able to continue as a singer…

[themagicmusicman]

quick context: character im doing is shå; she is the girlfriend of angu, one of the main characters in neim’s worldbuilding project, kunirn. shå uses she/her, angu uses she/ her, kik (angu’s close friend/basically brother at this point lmao) uses he/xey 👍

1. i reckon she’s usually too busy beating people up to have other hobbies but like. does cooking count as crafting? she crafts. food lmao

2. this bitch might be trans but she wears the manliest man cologne lmfao like. whatever the kunirn equivalent of something tobacco, sandalwood and orange would smell like. man shite /fem

3. fuck yeah!!! that’s basically the main thing she does besides being gay and fighting people

4. mmmm not really, unless her and angu are baking together for the sillies (kik sometimes joins in too)

5. yeah!! she has the Ǎtrothang mark on her right shoulder (shown at the bottom of the post) as well as loads of others hjehekr

6. probably kik (angu’s friend n basically non blood brother) bcs xey seem like they would work the best under pressure and know first aid. all that shit yknow [update. neim told me that kik is canonically good at patching people up so i was right!]

7. bitch isnt scared of anything except her parents, and thats fairly normal i think. guys thats normal. right. ri-

8. yeah she probably has the weirdest collections of shit. stuff like bones, eyeballs, that kinda thing

9. she usually tries to just wait it out and continue whatever she’s doing, but when it gets so bad she can’t, she just leeches to angu until it goes away

10. not standing up to her parents’ bullshit :[

11. ehhhh probably not anything. canon but she seems like the kind of person who would

12. oh yeah shå has amazing style /gen this bitch dresses like the most butch lesbian. also she’s just hot lmao (evidence at tje bottom)

13. not in the slightest lmao

14. absolutely. it took her close to a year to open up to angu about her parent bs so. yeah just a bit

15. she’s just a silly lil guy. the sillies! silly and tiny and definitely doesnt have a really dark/horny sense of humour!

16. nope and nope :D

17. basically never. she stands by what she believes at doesnt bend for anyone

18. easier to become her enemy than her friend :3

19. you have to be pretty awesome she has trust issues lmao

20. meh not really seeing as her life in Ǎtrothang was. pretty traumatising

21. friends. friends for sure

22. never

23. n/a shes immortal /j (in other words doesnt think about dying ever)

24. most people are her enemies :3👍

25. uh morning routine, wake up and get on with the day. evening routine, go to bed and toss n turn until she eventually falls asleep

26. she’s her own hero (aka has no heroes (except maybe kik or angu but thats just her being gay lmao))

27. i mean. her meeting angu was pretty much a chance encounter and that changed her life drastically so!

28. # idontthinkgamingexistslmao

29. i’d want to be but she would scare me 😔

30. she doesn’t want to be famous. the less people who know her, the better

31. i would probably give her some sort of silly telepathic powers, she’d want invisibility

32. being afab (she doesnt mind the dick but she occasionally gets dysphoria thinking that she’s a Fake Woman because she has not biological booba (she is the most womanly woman i know))

33. oh yeah. i think angu, shå and kik would play silly ttrpgs the same way i play dnd with neim and my irl mates

34. terribly. she hides it well, but inside she’s struggling :[[[

35. in charge of her own destiny. fuck the dead gods she’s deciding her fate

36. yes and uh. for legal reasons no /hj

37. she doesn’t really like the gods, n chooses to just kinda. do her own thing lmao (same as angu but less Loud About It /lh)

38. she doesn’t dream (me core)

39. definitely!!! that sounds fun as shit!

40. she would be able to pull it out first try because shes a big strong jerboa. speaking of pulling ou-

41. she hates making mistakes so doesn’t learn from them as much as. promise herself not to make the same mistake again

42. yeh! she speaks mainly speaks rurleki (surprisingly. the language of rurlek) but also speaks atro from living in atrothang

43. fairly well, except mentally. afterwards she’ll freak out but she’s usually fine in the moment

44. only angu, not even kik i dont think

45. wing it gdejdbksbdkf

46. for sure, she probably lies quite a lot lmao

47. she would for quite a few people, ofc including angu and kik

48. in a heartbeat. revenge quest time babyyy!

49. nah she knows the difference. big difference (this is a threat 👍)

50. shes a trans lesbian jerboa!!!!! what is there to not love!!!!!!!!!

@neim-batteries-not-included haiiiiii :3

You've Got Questions and I've Got Answers OC Edition

Do they have any crafting hobbies?

Do they wear perfume/cologne? If so what scents do they prefer?

Do they enjoy cooking?

Do they enjoy baking?

Do they have any tattoos? If so what are they and do they have any special meaning?

If they were badly injured, and for whatever reason couldn't go to a hospital, who would they go to for help?

Do they have any unusual fears?

Do they collect anything? If so what and why?

When they're sick what do they do to feel better?

Do they have any regrets?

Do they have any addictions?

Do they have any sense of style? Regardless of the answer do they believe they have a sense of style?

Do they enjoy poetry?

Do they have a hard time opening up to people?

What kind of sense of humor do they have? Or do they have one at all?

Do they have or want kids?

How easily would they be convinced to do something that goes against their morals?

How easy is it to become their enemy?

How easy is it to become their friend?

Do they have a strong connection to their culture?

What is more important to them, friends or family?

Would they ever betray someone for money?

How would they want to die?

Do they have any enemies?

Do they have a daily/nightly routine?

Have they met any of their heroes? Did they regret it?

Has a chance encounter ever had an unexpected effect on them?

Are they a #gamer?

If they were real would you be friends with them?

If they had the chance to be famous would they take it? If they are famous would they rather they weren't?

What superpower would you choose for them and what would they choose for themselves? If they have one would they choose something else?

If they could change one thing about themselves what would it be?

Do they play ttrpgs? If so what kind of characters do they play? Or are they more likely to GM?

How well do they deal with grief?

Do they believe in fate or do they believe they are in charge of their own destiny?

Would they ever kill someone? Have they already?

Are they religious? If so do they have a strong sense of faith, are they uncertain, or are they somewhere in between?

What are their dreams like? Do they have any recurring dreams/nightmares?

Would they ever crash a wedding?

If they found a sword in a stone would they try to pull it out? How would they react to being able to pull it out or not?

Do they learn from their mistakes?

Can they speak multiple languages? If yes which all do they speak and why?

Can they handle stressful situations?

Who, if anyone, would they trust with their deepest secrets?

Do they plan in advance or just wing it?

Would they lie to get out of trouble?

Would they lie to get someone else out of trouble? Even if they would have to take that someone else's place?

How likely are they to go on a quest for revenge?

Do they have trouble keeping their enemies and their friends straight?

What is your favorite thing about them?

I love these so I figured I'd make one of my own! Just be sure that if you reblog this ask one or two of these to the person you reblogged from (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[rueclfer]

Can I get a gentle reminder smau with Shigaraki? And maybe with a little excerpt of him checking in on us 👉🏻👈🏻 love your writing, but don’t feel inclined to do this request if you don’t want to :)

ily u r sweet yes u can get some of this soft n tender shiggy

gentle reminder // tomura shigaraki

“keep track of your shit.” tomura says once more, tossing your pill bottle onto your bed, right next to your figure hidden beneath the mass of blankets.

“you see a bottle of pills that looks kinda important, that you know i left in your room since last week and you don’t think to at least notify me?” you huff, peaking your head out.

“i dunno.” he shrugs. “you leave shit in my room at the time. think i have half your closet on my floor.” 

you tightly clench the fabric of the blanket up over your nose as heat spikes up to your ears.

tomura doesn’t need an invitation to make himself comfortable in your bed. you feel the shift of the mattress underneath you and hear the rattle of the pills as he shakes it in his hands.

“so this tiny ass pill” he lays on his back, one hand behind his head, the other holding up the small orange bottle to his eyes. “is the one thing that keeps you together?”

“unfortunately.” you sigh, pulling the blanket down under your chin. “can you pass me one?”

you watch him carefully shake out the small pale pill into the palm of his hand. he returns the stare as you swallow the pill dry, returning your head down onto your pillow.

“feel better?” he sets the bottle on the nightstand.

“no.” you laugh at the naivety. “gonna take a little to get used to them again.”

“what do you need then?” he blankly stares at you. “‘cause you can’t do this for another week.”

you two lock into a staring contest while you think for a moment. 

what do i need?

you feel like shit. you haven’t taken a proper shower in a few days. you haven’t really eaten anything. your throat is dry. this migraine is pounding its way out of your skull. this is the most you’ve spoken to someone in a week.

“maybe just stay here.”

it takes him by surprise- you see the shock in his eyes. 

sure you’ve messed around a bit (a lot), but you’ve never asked him for any sort of warmth and comfort. this is new territory for the both of you.

tomura fully turns on his side and inches a bit closer to you. he’s scared to touch you, so he just invades your bubble a little bit more than he usually would. your breaths intertwine in the stuffy air of your bedroom and you see the room slowly grow dimmer as the sun sets.

“is this helping?” he whispers.

“yeah.” you close your eyes, fingers reaching out to rest on top of the back of his hand, lighting tapping over his fingers. “thanks, tomura.”

“just don’t be stupid and forget again.” he sighs, switching your hand positions, his now firmly laying flat over yours.

“maybe it’s all a ruse to get you in my bed.” you tease.

“not that you need a ruse. it’s you. i’m always available.” he scoffs. “idiot.” he quickly adds on.

tomura’s glad the sun was almost set at this point. you wouldn’t be able to see his growing flushed face and chewed bottom lip as he continues to stare at your slight smile, and tousled hair from laying in bed all day.

he’ll make a mental note to make it a habit to stop by your room and remind you to take your meds from now on. he doesn’t realize until now that this piece of solitude in each other’s presence has been something he’s been craving, almost like an insatiable hunger. 

tomura scooches closer now, letting himself in the cocoon of your blankets. you accept him in between your arms, letting him rest his head against the crook of your neck.

“thank you, tomura.” you mutter against his hairline.

“yeah.”

[achilles-rage]

good luck charm: bonus drabble

come and get your love

summary: after a hard day, you do something to cheer evan up.

word count: 1.6k

series masterlist

a/n: this might be stupid, but it was fun to write and i think it’s cute so sue me!! sigh, i miss good luck charm evan, and i'm sorry this took so long, i just couldn't think of any scenarios i really wanted to tell. if you have any drabble ideas for this series, i'm happy to hear them! enjoy<33

warnings: none, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

You’re in the bedroom putting away some laundry when you hear the front door slam, and you jump in surprise, a frown making its way onto your face immediately. You know exactly what that door slam means; Evan has had a bad day. 

“Hi, baby.” you say, peeking your head over the railing and looking at him in the kitchen getting some water. You offer him a small smile when he looks up at you, and although he gives you a smile back, you can tell it’s fake even from up in the loft. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and you sigh sadly.

When you make it to the bottom of the stairs and walk towards him standing near the fridge, you wrap your arms around his neck and raise up onto your toes to give him a kiss. You feel the way he melts into your embrace, and it’s almost as if you can feel all of the stress radiating off of his body; it’s practically suffocating you, and you can’t even imagine how he feels.

“Rough day?” you ask, and he nods once, jaw clenched.

He’s been working extremely hard the past few weeks at the LAFD training academy, and while he comes home most days exhausted but content, there’s some days where he can get overwhelmed.

“You have no idea.” he tells you, his hands finding their way to your hips. You give him a sad smile, then pull him down for another kiss, hoping to get him to relax a little bit more.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He huffs at your question, thinking for a moment. He knows it would be better to get it out of his system, but he doesn’t want to dump it all on you. He knows how hard you’ve been working at your new job, and he doesn’t want you worrying about him as well.

“Hey, we don’t keep stuff in, that’s not what we do. You told me that.” you urge him softly when he doesn’t reply right away. He sighs, a smile fighting its way onto his face at your reminder. He nods after a moment, looking into your eyes and rubbing his thumb across your cheek.

“The physical stuff is fine, I’m passing everything easily. Just- The instructors say stuff; try to get into your head. It just got to me today.” he explains with a frown. You nod your head as he speaks, keeping your gaze locked with his. When he’s finished you tilt your head to the side, waiting for him to continue, but when he doesn’t, you raise your brows.

“Do you want to tell me what they said today that got you so worked up?” you urge. You don’t necessarily want to push him, but you know that he needs to talk it out, so you keep your eyes on him, as if pleading with him to tell you.

“We were doing this drill today, and there were a bunch of dummies. They gave them all back stories to make them feel real. I don’t know, I guess I just got caught up in it and in my mind they were real people, because they will be one day. I tried to go back into the building even when some of the other guys let the fire get out of hand because there were still a few dummies left in the building, and some guys had to hold me back.” he says in one big breath, and you follow along with furrowed brows, hoping he’ll continue.

“Well, they know I have you, and I guess they picked up on the fact that I was thinking about you the whole time; thinking about you in there. They were just saying stuff about me not being able to save you because of my mistakes, and about you having to plan my funeral because I got reckless on the job and I got myself killed.” he continues after a moment. He chews on the inside of his cheek as he waits for you to reply, and your eyes soften at his admission. 

You shake your head, bringing his head down to rest your foreheads against each other with your hand on the back of his neck. You keep him there for a moment in silence, trying to gather your thoughts before you reply.

“My love, your heart is what will make you a good firefighter. You care so much about people. And I have no doubt that you’d be able to save me if you had to, because you’re smart, and capable, and you love so deeply. And I’m not gonna lie, the thought of you getting hurt on the job has crossed my mind, but I know that you’re gonna fight to come home everyday, aren’t you?” He nods immediately, brows furrowing.

“Of course, I will. You know I will.” he replies, and you smile.

“Then I’m not too worried. Worry about actually finishing your training first, and then we’ll talk about you dying on the job, okay? Because I guarantee that when you start at an actual station, you’ll trust your team a lot more than the recruits. You can’t even imagine all the stories my dad has told me about the people he had to train with.” you tell him with a small laugh. You can still see a bit of hesitancy in his eyes as he tells you that you’re right, so you lead him to the couch and sit him down.

“I know exactly what you need.” you tell him when he sits down, then turn and grab your phone off the kitchen counter.

A small, real smile finally makes its way to his face when he sees you scrolling through your phone, knowing exactly what you’re about to do. When one of you has a bad day, the other always does something to make the other smile. He doesn’t even remember when or how this tradition started, but he does know that it always makes him smile regardless of how many times you do it.

His smile widens when he hears the beginning to Redbone’s Come and Get Your Love from the speaker connected to the tv, and you turn from your spot in the kitchen to face him.

You walk over to him as the beat starts, moving your shoulders in time with each step and fighting back a smile, and when the singing starts, you grab the tv remote off the coffee table and begin to lip sync into it.

He watches as you dance to the music with a wide smile, watching the way you move your hips in time with the music, and he can already feel himself start to feel better. He chuckles when you grab one of his hands and duck down to spin under his arm, and when you turn back to face him, you drop his hand and back up a few feet.

When the chorus starts, you continue lip syncing as you raise your hand in a “come here” motion, rolling your body in time with the beat. He gets up off the couch, keeping his eyes locked with yours, then grabs your hips, pulling you against him. 

You both sway to the music with smiles on your face. You can tell that he feels better, and you’re extremely grateful. You know how stressful the job can be, and you only hope you can help him through it as much as you can. 

The song finally ends, and he lifts you up with his hands going to the backs of your thighs, and you giggle as you wrap your legs around his waist.

“You always know what to do, princess.” he says with a grin, and all you can do is lean down to press your lips to his. 

“I know what else I can do to help you feel better.” you murmur against his lips. You feel his grip tightening on the back of your thighs, and he groans, pulling back from your lips to look at you with blown pupils.

“I’m keeping you in bed until tomorrow morning.” he teases, then sets you back down onto the ground. He then grabs your waist and turns you towards the stairs, then pushes you forward gently, but not before giving your ass a firm smack. You yelp at the contact, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder as he speaks.

“Go upstairs, princess. I’ll be right up.” 

“What are you doing?” you ask, but obey and walk towards the stairs.

“I’m ordering takeout, gonna see what I can do before it gets here.” he teases, and you laugh softly, rolling your eyes.

His eyes dart between your ass as you walk up the stairs, and his phone, and when he’s finally placed the order, he races up the stairs two at a time. 

He grins when he sees that you’re already naked, sprawled out on the bed and sitting up on your elbows waiting for him. He groans as he takes off his shirt, then unzips his pants, and then he’s on you in an instant, lips attaching to your neck.

“How could I do this without you, princess?” he whispers against your neck, goosebumps erupting on your skin as his hot breath hits your neck.

“You’d be lost without me.” you tease as you tilt your head back. You feel him grinding against you as he chuckles, and you lower your chin to meet his gaze when he leans back to look at you.

“Damn right, I would.”

notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33

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[joocomics]

ಬ different kind of normal

pairing: idol!taehyun x fem!reader

genre: angst, smut — mdni! wc: 1.7k

contains: situationship, reunion sex, sub!reader, slight hint of dumbification, slight dacryphilia, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, reader is emotional and cries during sex, not a happy ending (?)

a/n: this has been sitting in the drafts since august and it’s finally seeing the light of day. cannot believe such angsty smut is happening on joocomics, tbh i don’t think i’ll be writing anything similar anytime soon phew it was tricky and i realised that i need my happy endings. but i wanted to try smth new, i really hope you enjoy it </3 sometimes you just need a kim taehyun to numb your emotions

You go down the familiar stairs and walk into the bar. It’s loud, lit by the usual dim yellow-ish lights, the scent of alcohol and skin is covering every corner, wrapping around your silhouette.

Your eyes observe the place to search for him and it doesn’t take long to find him - he’s sitting on your usual spot which is distanced from every other table; it feels intimate and secluded.

None of the people who visit this bar know who he is, nor do they know you, and sitting on this specific table every time you see each other only enhances the feeling you get in these moments - like you and him are the only people existing in this place and time.

“Taehyun,” you greet him at once.

You haven’t said his name out loud in so long. You’re not allowed to talk about him to anyone; not that you want to anyway, you want to keep him to yourself though it feels nice to be able to roll it off your tongue again. It feels freeing, especially in his presence.

Maybe he missed hearing his name in your voice, because his eyes smile at the sound before he even turns to face you. The letters ring nicely, like his name is something he can feel caressing his skin when you’re the one saying it.

“You’re here.” He automatically leans forward after you sit down next to him; the usual gravitational force that always pulls you together is another thing he was anticipating to experience again.

His one arm goes over your shoulders and the sudden warmth enveloping you makes your knees weak. The truth is, they were already weak from the steps you had to take to reach your table, but now they feel like they’re about to melt.

Being so close to him months later feels like it’s your first date all over again. You hate it and love it all at the same time.

“I just ordered your favorite,” he says and you can hear the slight note of pride in his smooth voice.

His hair is covered from a black cap which he eventually takes off before running a hand through his hair; it grabs your attention with a new color that you haven’t seen him with in person before.

You point out the obvious fact about how he still remembers your order as you take a minute to observe the attractive features that make up the face you learned to love.

“Of course I do,” he simply replies, leaning in for a kiss.

The first kiss after three and a half months. It feels so exciting and electrifying, just like the very first one you had a year ago, but at the same time it feels familiar too - like you’re reminiscing on a comforting memory you haven’t looked back on for a while.

His hand slides up your thigh, then travels up your hip only to sneak in discreetly beneath your shirt, sending you pleasant shockwaves. Soon enough he breaks the kiss though, careful not to bring any unnecessary attention on you.

“Next month I’m gonna have a week off.” Taehyun speaks up after a moment of silence between the two of you. After a sip of his beer, he continues: “I was thinking that you can come visit me if you want.”

Yes… Yes. You do. You want to scream it out loud. But the only thing you do is breathe in, staring inside the cup of your cocktail; trying to force yourself to speak before your mind turns blank.

“You don’t need to worry about money,” he adds as he shifts his gaze to you, hopeful and anticipating of your response. “It’s all on me, baby.”

There it is - the reminder you needed before giving any answers. His money, his fame. His life that’s so unfitting to yours. The pink balloon you found yourself in for a moment as he shared about his plan, tempting you to naively build dreams about your one week together, it pops, and brings you back to the harsh reality.

“Tae…” You shake head, “no matter what we do or tell each other we can’t be normal.”

Taehyun’s brows furrow at your choice of word.

Normal.

“This has to end at some point, I don’t think we should complicate things any further… as we’ve already said before.” You exhale deeply after blurting out the things you’ve been practicing on your way here. He didn’t hear the sound that escaped your lips because of the music mixed with the chatter, but if he did, he’d have known that saying all of this cost you an immense amount of energy.

You don’t glance at him even once, but Taehyun on the other hand can’t stop staring at you like he’s in some sort of a bad dream that’ll end soon if he’s patient enough.

“Right, right…” He nods, finally able to force his eyes somewhere else. He peers down at his hands on the table that begin to tap nervously at the wooden surface, sharing almost the same rhythm as his heartbeat. “You’re right, that’s the wisest thing to do.”

You know it is, but hearing him agree turns out to be more painful than you expect.

For the best, this has to end soon, you remind yourself. Maybe not tonight, but tomorrow.

“I missed you,” Taehyun rises your body temperature through raspy whispers and open mouthed kisses which he scatters onto your skin almost in a rush; as if you’re going to disappear from his hands if he dares to slow down. “Missed you so fuckin’ much...”

His soft lips trace a path from your neck down to your cleavage and soon enough he’s even lower, running his tongue against your stomach before kissing that area sensually too. The slight moisture slipping from the corners of his mouth in addition to the delicate sucks makes you shudder as he simultaneously tugs on your underwear.

“Missed this sweet pussy too,” he invites his fingers into your walls effortlessly. His gaze focuses upon your lips and how they open for a silent gasp as he glides through with ease because of your already collected arousal. “Did she miss me?”

While anticipating an answer, Taehyun swirls his tongue inside his mouth before letting a string of saliva fall right onto your clit; he smears it all over your folds, provoking your thighs to open even wider for him.

“Tae��“ You arch spine, emphasising your need for something more than this lingering rush that’s growing in a pace that’s not quite enough for how much you ache for his touch right now. “Please…”

“I think she did.” A lustful spark shimmers in his eyes as his hand maintains its delicate motions. The movements make you moan every time his fingertips reach your sensitive bundle of nerves before slipping back down again. “Say it.”

At once he meets your eyes as his frame eventually hovers over your naked flushed body.

Your hands relax on his broad shoulders as your focus fixates on his face. Hopefully there’s not as much pain into your eyes as there is in your heart in this moment. You don’t want him to know how much exactly you’re actually hurting.

“I missed you every day,” you whisper softly as your noses touch; your mouths search for each other, thirsty for the other’s taste even more now. When you feel his hand guiding his cock to your entrance your breathing catches, but you still manage to repeat it. “Of course, I missed you.”

The second he hears your words, Taehyun crashes his lips against your mouth. Because he cannot bare hearing this one more time or because he enjoys the sound of it too much - he’s not able to tell.

As he leads the kiss swiftly your legs wrap loosely around his hips and your warm walls immediately squeeze onto him as he quickens the pace, eager to make up for all the time you were away from each other.

“Fuck—“ He grunts at the growing pleasure that he reminisced about night after night before breathing out against your neck: “Finally… I swear to god nobody else can make me feel this way.”

His voice, husky and domineering despite his on going confessions, echoes in your fuzzy mind. Although you shouldn’t, you put in all the effort you can into memorising each word he says; you hold onto it tightly as the continuous thrusts gradually turn more rigid and sharp causing your nails to sink into his shoulder blades. However, as amazing the buzzing sweet wave inside you feels, you cannot suppress the sadness that’s about to overpower you first.

You swallow another failed attempt to fight back the bitter emotion, but you can feel it lingering everywhere - in your heart, inside your stomach, on your tongue once he slows down his hips to grip your face, and inside your throat that feels like it’s closing up.

“Why are you crying?”

Taehyun peers into your eyes that are sparkling at him with a bittersweet emotion which he hasn’t gotten used to seeing inside them. His gaze lowers to your puffy lips, trembling as they separate with hesitation.

“I… I don’t know what’s gotten to me, sorry,” your arms wrap tighter to pull him closer. His thumb caressing your wet cheek only makes it worse for you. “Please, k-keep going.”

“Sweetheart,” he whispers under his breath as he fulfills your wish by resuming his thrusts - more forcefully though to distract you from the sorrow, “I’ll make it go away now, okay? Focus on me, baby.”

You grasp his shoulders while the delight starts to numb your mind with each intense push of his cock. The hits against your sweet spot are fast and strong enough to weaken your memory right away.

“There you go,” Taehyun’s pants blend with your whimpers ringing beneath him as the tears on your skin begin to dry. “Such pretty eyes, look at me, love.”

Something about seeing you cry for the first time made his heart clench, and now his mind fogs up, leaving him with only one goal - to make you cum as many times as possible so you can’t think of anything for the rest of the night.

Right now, he’d erase every single thought from your brain if he knows he’s capable of doing so.

The moment he feels you’re tightening up Taehyun’s eyes open so he doesn’t miss out on one flinch of yours.

“Yeah, I’m here, baby,” he murmus, trying to keep moving forward while your peak lasts, causing you to quiver beneath his frame. “Let go, baby, I’m right here.”

Yes, he’s here, and tomorrow morning he’s still going to be here, but you’ll be gone, because this time if he tries to stop you like all the previous times, you’re not going to look back.

But for now, you and Taehyun are close as you’ve never been before.

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

! please keep in mind that english is not my first language. i apologise for any mistakes i’ve might missed

[weaselle]

close to 70 million people voted one way and close to 70 million people voted another way.

The ideal situation in 4 years is tens of millions of those people realize they were wrong, get welcomed to this side with forgiveness and understanding, and start standing with us, beginning to heal the deep divide that has occurred in this country.

Or, i guess we could continue to feed into hatred and division until there is an actual civil war.

Yes, the die-hard MAGA group is basically a cult, and their leadership is pretty evil, and there's a fair number of outright bigots and quasi-fascists on the right, but a lot of the voting block is also made up of people who got taken in by the cult, or people who just plain don't follow politics much and simply vote the way their family does, or who don't really understand politics at all, or who believed a lie, or who were single issue voters who didn't realize what they were doing to their country, or, was influenced by the bad friends they used to hang out with, or, or, or.

And if they realize they should, we want them to be able to walk across the aisle and find community here and stand with us.

There was a time i didn't really pay attention to politics and just voted how my friends were voting because it seemed like the thing to do and my life was complicated enough without doing all the research and activism politics seems to require. I know there are many people who voted red for similar reasons.

Leave room for grace, for growth, embody the spirit of the humanity we strive to enable and leave the door open for anyone who realizes they made a mistake and wants to help fix it.

Like, let this happen:

(in stranger things, Steve spray paints this, realizes he was wrong, and tells the guy who has to clean it that he wants to clean it himself)

When someone's daughter dies during miscarriage because they couldn't get medical treatment due to trumps regime, if we laugh and tell them we're glad they're reaping what they sowed, all we're doing is alienating what could be one of our strongest allies.

also how horrible -- taking joy in someone's suffering is something an awful person does. Be a decent human with us. I know it's tempting to feel like they got what's coming to them, evil things are always tempting; it's not the feeling tempted that makes a person terrible, it's the embracing it instead of resisting it that defines what kind of person you are.

Approve of people who start to do the right thing. Encourage anyone who starts to realize they were wrong.

Trump voters on tiktok are EXTREMELY mad about the following:

They just found out what tariffs are

They just found out what denaturalization is

They (particularly black and Hispanic trump voters) just found out that other trump voters are racist

Leftists and liberals don't want to be their friends (they are furious about this)

Leftists keep telling them they hope they get what they voted for (they are really mad about this too)

[solar4seekstron]

Ending 1: Optimus Prime

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Megatrons Ending, Elita Ones Ending, B-127 Ending, Bonus+ Deadlocks Ending

Tf1!Optimus Prime x Cybertronian!GN!Reader

Y/N was in one of the towers. One currently a home for them and the others as the rebuild the city. Looking over Iacon as they let out a breath. Seeing the large city for the first time. They would close their optics as they think about how they first met Orion.

*Flashback-

When Orion was running from the superiors again and as the train was about to close. Y/N was the one to grab him by the arm and pull him into the train. Pushing him against the wall and a cervo over his mouth. The train closes and starts as the guards continue to run past the train.

Orion looked down at them surprised at their help. Once the coast is clear. They remove their hand and pats his shoulder.

”You know you should really be more careful with your turns.” they put their cervos on their hips. The other miners paid no mind to them as the two continue to speak.

”Uh yeah thanks for that. Thought I was a goner.”

”Well it looks like it won't be today.”

He looks at them for a moment before chuckling

“Heh thanks…. for that. I’m Pax. Orion Pax.”

”Name’s Y/N, one of the new miners. Just came here from another miner group since that group…..didn’t want me anymore….” The two shake hands as they both walk deeper into the train leaning against one of the crates as the continue their conversation

”Why?”

“Eh my boss was getting tired of the- messing around of the other bots so they moved me to where it might be “nicer” so I was pretty excited to meet the team!”

Orion stared at them for a moment and looked down. He then hesitates a bit to put his cervo on their shoulder before doing so and smiling down at them.

”Well welcome to the team Y/N. I’m sure Elita, our leader, will definitely like you. Oh how about I introduce you to my friend once we get there. I’m sure he’ll like the new member of our mining team. And he’s a total sweetheart to newcomers.”

Orion smiles half joking and Y/N lets out a small smile and a little chuckle.

”Thanks….Orion.”

*End of Flashback-

They would then feel a cervo on their shoulder startling them a little as they turn their head to the person

”Sorry…..Are you alright.”

”…No…We could’ve done so much good….but-“

Orion then cups their chin and has them look up at him. Giving them a warm smile as he speaks

”We did as much of what . But we have each other. I may be a prime but I still need you. Even with or without D-….Megatron... He will find his way. But We. Are in the here and now.” He grabs one of their cervos as his other went on the side of their upper arm

”I- I guess you’re…right.” There’s a moment of silence between the two

“Y/N I wish to confess something to you that I-….I have feelings for you.” Y/N was taken aback for a moment as they looked at him. Mostly that he now chose that he’ll confess now after everything and is now a Prime. Y/N only lightly chuckles

”Guess I’ve sort of always known there was something that drew me to you Ori-.. Optimus.”

The two stay in silence for a moment more before putting their foreheads together. As the two close their eyes

”Y/N. Would you-“ they placed a digit on his dermas stopping him.

”Yes Optimus..I’ll be your Conjunx Endura.”

”As you will be mine” Optimus responded as he sets his cervo on their waist. And Y/N sets their cervos on his shoulders.

The two would open their eyes as they stare at each other. Soon closing the gap and their dermas connect. Y/N wrapping their arms around his neck as one of his around their waist and his other hand at the back of their head. The sunshinning before them as they both take in the moment. Enjoying each other's embrace. At peace with their now new path as the sparks in both their chests glow together.

It’s the middle of the night for me so I wanted to post this. I couldn’t wait to share this with you guys. Luckily I was able to finish this today after finishing a couple requests from other people. I hope you all enjoyed this and I can’t wait to post Megatrons ending!! Ugh it’s going to be so good!!!!

[intrepidacious]

❤️ a good time!

tat!bucky’s favorite (or least favorite) thing about twelve

… why not both?

cause and effect

chapter summary: How Bucky fell in love with Twelve: Slowly, and then all at once.

pairing: bucky barnes x time witch!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: light angst and negative self talk (this is bucky y'all); some light pining 🤭please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: i've literally had this one in my drafts for about two years and i hadn't actually planned on posting it for a while yet but i did promise distractions. and i missed him. i always do.

this is part of the time after time universe but can be read as a teaser and/or a standalone 💚

Bucky’s relationship with time has been fractured ever since a cold day in January that stole away the life he was headed towards and turned him into the monster underneath a child’s bed.

It’s hard to feel good about the concept of time travel once a lot of your own time has been taken away from you. Even now, there’s only so many things in his life he has control over; like the fact that he’s actively choosing to go back to therapy now, or that he’s able to keep a pet for the first time since he was thirteen years old. Stupid little things, like what kind of food he wants for lunch or whether he should take the stairs or the elevator.

Every single one of these things he’s fought for tooth and nail, clawing his way out of the past and carving out his own space in reality again, struggling, trying, hanging on like he wasn’t able to all those decades ago.

He’s probably still failing.

Some days, clinging to the present is tense and brings him nothing but grief. Sometimes, it feels like he’s going to have to mourn the past forever, whatever might have been; and maybe that’s his sentence.

He wouldn’t have wished it on anyone. He deserves worse.

And then there’s you.

Flickering in and out of time, constantly moving, changing in the time it takes him to blink.

It’s infuriating to him, the way you get to use your powers. The way you don’t need to think about consequences, because they don’t have to be permanent, don’t have to be something you need to live with for the rest of your life. To you, time has always been something that can be changed with a single snap of your fingers. Whatever you do can just as easily be undone.

Once you decide you’ve seen enough, you can just take the scene from the top.

And you’re so stubborn.

You’ve already seen how this goes on if you let it, and so you’re always right, end of story. There’s an ease to your steps because of it, a nonchalance in every movement, and it makes Bucky’s blood boil to see it so plainly.

With all the good that you could do, you choose to do nothing instead; to stay out of the picture entirely and burn through your powers just because you can, wasting them all on things that don’t mean anything.

How many lives could you potentially save?

Instead, you consume disturbing amounts of caffeine and then continue to provide running commentary to the world around you based on things that, to him, never happen at all. "Do this", "don’t do that", "take the other one", or, his absolute favorite, "don’t make me fix that".

Why not? he wants to ask, say, demand. Why not fix all of it?

It takes a while for him to realize that all of your fire means you’re burning from both ends. In fact, it takes Becca.

"You should bring her by sometime," she tells him on a rainy afternoon. "While I’m still alive and kicking."

His little sister just turned ninety-eight. Her kitchen sideboard is filled with black-and-white pictures reminding him of all the things in her life that he missed, arranged in perfect little wooden frames.

"And why would I do that?" Bucky asks, scowling at his cards.

"Because you keep mentioning her," Rebecca says dryly and whisks the cards onto her pile with quick fingers.

"You gotta be kidding me," he groans, noting down her points. "And I don’t."

"Do, too. I don’t remember you being this terrible at this game."

"Because I haven’t caught you when you’re cheating."

"Exactly. It’s embarrassing." She wins the next trick, too. "How’s Tuesday?"

"Am I clairvoyant now?"

"I was thinking lunch."

"No." Finally, he gets a couple of points down. When he glances up at his sister again, she’s looking at him expectantly and he sighs. "What?"

"You can’t fault me for being curious," she says. She has just as many opinions as she did when she was sixteen. Her eyes are still the same, too, the same shade of blue as his and the same glimmer of archness as their mother.

"Don’t you think it’s weird?" Bucky says, finally giving in. "The whole … time thing?"

"I think it’s very weird, but so’s you returning from the dead and kvetching about it." Her eyes narrow when he starts to protest. His mouth closes again. "Besides," she continues, shuffling her hand around, "it doesn’t sound all that fun."

"To have the power to never make mistakes?"

"To have to live through every mistake twice without anyone knowing."

Something about her words strikes him like a match, and so he tilts his head and squints at her and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s got it wrong.

That you carry not only your past, but all the futures you’ve seen that never came to be; all the what ifs having turned into answers.

And he thinks, how nice. And then he thinks, how horrifying.

It’s a thought that follows him over the next couple of weeks, and it starts reframing your interactions for him, in a way.

"Will you stop staring at me," you say without looking up from your book.

Honestly, he can’t. He’s still trying to pick up on it, the split second between before and after, that little change of your posture, your hair, your face, that tells him more time has passed for you than it has for him.

It’s more of a feeling than anything else, something right at the back of his mind telling him that something is different if he concentrates on it enough, but he’s never sure what it is. And he doesn’t like that; not one bit.

So Bucky crosses his arms and leans back. "Why?"

A flash of irritation makes your nose twitch, even though you still refuse to meet his eye.

"It’s rude, for one."

"Noted." He waits for the two that never comes. "Anything else?"

And there it is. A blink-and-you-miss-it kind of moment, like the air shifting around you ever so slightly, a certain knowing glint in your eyes when you roll them and get up.

"Annoying!"

He can’t help it. He wonders what your original answer was.

***

Bucky’s relationship with time changes slowly, the deepest cuts carefully mending themselves until looking back doesn’t feel like getting his bones ripped apart anymore, until he looks at you on a cold day in January and realizes he’s fucked.

At first, he hopes that it might be a fluke. A trick of the light, maybe, or seasonal allergies. That’s the reason why his eyes are drawn to your face as soon as he enters a room; the closest source of discomfort always the thing he seeks out first. That’s the reason why his chest constricts like that.

But the truth is, he knows this feeling has been building slowly; he’s just been unwilling to admit it.

Something soft and delicate has started to nestle in that gaping hole inside his chest, unbothered by the walls he’s so carefully built up.

He’d never planned on you.

Fuck, if he’d known in the beginning, he might’ve …

No, he thinks. He wouldn’t have changed anything.

Because you’re too good for him, anyway, and he knows it. Smart and strong and funny and gorgeous and capable of things he’s not sure he’ll ever fully comprehend; and it’s worse than that, because he knows you now.

You’re grouchy in the mornings and you make terrible jokes when you’re nervous and you have a strange feud with his cat and your smile makes him want to put his fist through the wall because what is he supposed to do with any of this?

He’s not made for this dance anymore. That part was taken from him so long ago, and he’s delusional to think that anything or anyone could return it to him after all the bridges he’d been made to cross and burn. Why would someone like him deserve to be given tenderness anymore in this life? Why would anyone want to try?

But that foolish thing blooming inside him feels a lot like hope, despite of what he keeps telling himself.

There’s just something about you that keeps pulling him in, and honestly, he’s tired of fighting it. Then again, the thought of you feeling the same is nothing short of ridiculous.

He’s not the same guy as he used to be. Hell, sometimes he’ll look at old photographs and barely recognize himself.

He remembers life before, and maybe that’s what makes this so hard. He remembers talking to pretty girls, their bright smiles, their soft skin underneath his hands. Good times were easy to come by, even though life was hard in a different way, then. But he was good at it; acting on his feelings alone used to be simple, fun, second-nature almost.

It’s different now.

It used to be different only once before, and look where that’s gotten him.

No, he can’t say anything. Not ever; or not yet, at any rate.

Sometimes, though, Bucky lies awake at night and listens to the rain knocking against his window, and he remembers how much easier falling asleep used to be when he had someone next to him and his mattress didn’t swallow him alive.

He’ll remember the dark circles under your eyes and wish it could be as easy as asking, too. He wonders if there’s a universe you remember where he tries, but he doubts it.

These days, he knows his mind again. And it’s not a burden he wants to share.

You have enough to carry on your own.

Maybe, he thinks as he stares up at the ceiling at three in the morning, maybe there’s still a certain comfort in your powers, in knowing all the possibilities, but it also means constantly losing something that’s real; always mourning the life that isn’t.

He can relate to that.

And maybe that means you can relate to him, too, at least a little bit.

It’s odd, how comforting that last little thought is to him.

When he does eventually fall asleep, you make your way into his dreams, too, sometimes. Those times are the worst.

You’re you, and he’s him, and there’s a sort of "us" in the both of you that doesn’t exist in real life. So when you let him lace his fingers with yours and press your lips to his forehead and it feels easy, that’s usually the point when he wakes up, heart tumbling over itself, right hand tracing the ghost of your touch, always too much, never enough.

He knows it’s not real.

He knows it’s just an indulgence; selfish, really.

The problem is that whatever small hope has decided to settle in his very core is impossible to kill, no matter how much he pushes it down; and he’s not sure he wants to lose it again.

Secretly, silently, serendipitously, you make him have faith in the future again.

But it’s not time for it yet.

if you want to read more about these two (plus a lot of time related shenanigans), read the main series here. or check out the rest of my bucky fics, that's also an option 💚 i don't do tag lists but you can follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications

[tbyfandoms]

Birthday Blues | Austin Butler x Reader

Pairing: austin butler x f!reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: noticing her struggle with the loss and memory of her brother on his birthday, austin helps and comforts y/n with the celebration of his special day (requested)

Warnings: mentions of deceased siblings, descriptions of grief

Masterlist/Request Form | Ask/Tell/Request

A/N: it’s been so long since I’ve updated and I’m so sorry for that. I’ve missed writing so much and hope this is me getting back into my groove. I started this request ages ago but just now finished it. it’s felt so weird rounding out this fic about grief after hearing the news about liam (for any of my fellow directioners) and it’s just crazy to me how so many of the feelings and instances I wrote about in this fic have been a reality lately. I hope you’re all doing well whether you’ve been affected or not, and please remember to keep those you love close and to let them know how much you love them. to the anon who requested this, I hope this fic brings you comfort, thank you so much for requesting <3

Today’s the day. The day you’ve been anxiously awaiting for a while now. Every year it’s the same, it never seems to get easier for you no matter how hard you wish it would.

It’s your brother’s birthday, and it’s been a while since you’ve gotten to celebrate with him in person. He passed away and every year on his birthday you find yourself unable to function properly. Everyone tells you it gets better with time, but you’re still waiting for that to start kicking in.

There are some days where you find yourself so overcome with grief you can’t even find the right words to describe it, and there are other days where for a little while you almost forget he’s not here anymore. You yearn for those days, those days that feel like you’re floating and there’s nothing but calmness surrounding you.

You wish his birthday was one of those tranquil days.

As you move mechanically around the kitchen, doing your normal tasks as you would any other day, you find yourself trying not to fall apart.

Grief is a really funny thing. At times you believe your mourning period has passed and that that part of you that’s now missing has been patched and you’ll be able to handle this day on your own without any consolation. Other times you don’t even know how you’re able to stand up on your own and be expected to continue on. It’s like a balancing act, never knowing which way the scale is going to tip. Calm or devastated. Good or bad.

Pouring yourself something to drink, you think back on all the happy memories with your brother that you can. You know in your heart he wouldn’t want you to be sad today, or any day really. It’s just incredibly hard to not notice his absence, especially on his special day. It’s hard when you miss him so much and want nothing more than to celebrate with him instead of without.

Over the past few days you’ve tried not to focus too much on your brother’s birthday. You’ve kept busy and continued business as usual but you can’t deny the moments of sadness that crept in unannounced. You’ve talked to other family members about it and some of your friends too, a lot of them knowing what this day means to you and how hard it can be. You always keep up a brave face but it’s easier said than done on some days compared to others.

The sound of padded footsteps coming from your right breaks you out of your thoughts. When you turn your head you’re met with the soft smile on your boyfriend’s face. It’s impossible not to reciprocate it. You don’t know a soul on this Earth that’s ever been able to withstand a smile from Austin Butler.

“Hi, baby,” he says as he wraps his arms around you, his warmth and familiar scent immediately settling over you. Your body instantly relaxes against him, comfort beginning to course through your veins.

“Hi, Aus.” It comes out almost like a whisper and you curse yourself for already showing a sign of weakness. You promised yourself last night that you’d try to get through this day on your own, not wanting to distract Austin from any of his work or typical routine. Alas it’s not turning out how you hoped. That’s the thing about grief though, no matter how hard you try, you never do know when it’s going to come creeping back in.

Busying yourself with cleaning up, you ease yourself out of Austin’s grasp. For some reason you feel that if you stay that close to him, it won’t be long before your walls start crumbling down and you’ll both end up wrapped in devastation.

To be fair, you don’t even know if your boyfriend realizes what today is. You know you’ve mentioned it in passing, but with not wanting to make a big deal out of it you never really went into detail. You’ve talked to Austin about your brother before whether it be reminiscing about childhood memories or recalling an inside joke, but you always try to keep that devastation at bay.

The blonde hasn’t said anything about it recently and with his hectic schedule lately, you’re sure it hasn’t even crossed his mind. You’re not hurt by it, if anything you understand and appreciate it. It’s probably best if you handle today alone, in your own way.

A small frown adorns the corner of your lips and you make sure to turn your head so Austin doesn’t notice it. One thing about him is that he’s always able to pick up on your emotions and can tell when something’s wrong. Best plan of action is to just proceed as you normally would. You’re sure the actor has a million and one things to do today, so he should be out the door any minute now and you’ll be able to tackle the day however your head and heart deem fit.

“Are you hungry?” You say as chipper as you can while you start to open up a cabinet, ready to whip up anything your boyfriend would like. “I can make you your favorite or if you have to leave soon I can just make you something to take on the go.”

“No, I’m okay, thank you. I-I’m not working today.” You nearly bash your head into the cabinet door as you hear this. Your boyfriend was practically always working, especially now. So him saying this totally takes you by surprise.

“Why not?” You turn around and face Austin and just based off the look on his face you can tell he remembers what day it is. His eyes are so sincere and you nearly burst into tears because he hasn’t even said anything and yet you know exactly why he isn’t working. Why he most definitely told his manager and whoever else that today specifically was off limits for any meetings or shoots.

“I took the day off. I know I haven’t brought it up lately and you probably thought I forgot, but I know what today is, what it means and how important it is to you. I just wanted to be here with you and to let you know if you need me that I’ll be right here. I won’t let you deal with today on your own, sweetheart.” His tone is soft and he reaches out to caress your cheeks, wiping a tear you hadn’t even realized slipped out in the process.

“Austin I-,” you gulp, emotion rising fast in your throat as you look into his blue eyes and feel the empathy radiating off of him. “You didn’t have to do that. I know how busy you are and I know it must’ve taken a lot to have your day cleared. Really, it’s fine if you want to go to work. I-I can handle it, I’m fine-“

Your voice cracks and in that same moment you feel like part of your heart does as well.

Austin’s hands are tangled in your hair in an instant as he pulls you in close, holding your head against his shoulder as you begin to fall apart in his arms. There it is, one of those grief stricken moments you swore you wouldn’t allow to take over you today. So much for holding it together.

Clearly your boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind though, and for that you’ll be eternally grateful. You let yourself go, let your emotions go, as he whispers affirmations in your ear. Softly shushing you and assuring you that it’s ok to let it all out. It’s almost scary how easy it is for you to do this as well. To let yourself be vulnerable like this. But honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way. If you’re going to fall apart in anyone’s arms, there’s no one better than Austin’s to do it in.

After a while of being wrapped up in the blonde’s arms and after your sobs begin to turn into soft hiccups, you feel collected enough to take a small step back and start to wipe away any remaining tears.

“I’m sorry, Aus,” you whisper, feeling a little bad for just falling apart like this. You know he doesn’t mind, he wouldn’t have taken the day off if he did, but even still.

“Hey, hey, hey, do not apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Austin reaches out and swipes his thumbs underneath your eyes, collecting tears that haven’t yet fallen. “I’m here for you, and if that means being a human tissue for the day then I’m fine with that.”

A small laugh bubbles out of your throat and the sound makes Austin smile. He loves your laugh and he’d do anything to hear it, especially on a day like this.

“I hope you know how much I appreciate you. I know you’re no stranger to grief when losing a loved one, but I still appreciate you taking this in stride and just being there for me. This day it’s-it’s-,” your breath catches in your throat, but you clear it, not wanting your emotions to take over again. “It’s hard, but you certainly make it a lot less difficult to deal with and for that I’m grateful.”

“Of course, baby. I’m here for you, always. When you lose someone you love, it’s difficult enough to deal with, yet alone trying to deal with it on your own. I promise you I’ll always be here for you on this day and every other one you may need me for as long as you’ll have me.”

A small smile breaks out on your lips and you don’t know a better response than wrapping your arms around Austin and squeezing him with all the love and appreciation you can muster. You can’t even imagine a day without him. You’ll have him forever if you’re able to.

Once the two of you break apart you watch as Austin begins to say something, but then appears to hesitate. His eyes meet yours and you start to wonder what it is he wants to say to you.

“Now I don’t ever want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable, but over the past couple days I’ve been thinking about what we could do to celebrate your brother today. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to take you somewhere.” The blonde takes a breath and then reaches for your hand, squeezing once before continuing. “You trust me, right?”

You’ve never felt more sure of anything than you do right now in this moment when you say, “Yes, with my whole heart.”

Your boyfriend smiles and you feel your stomach flutter with both gratitude and anticipation for what he has planned. No matter where it is he ends up taking you, you know with one hundred percent certainty that he’s doing it because he loves you and cares for you in a way you never even thought possible. That fact alone is what carries you out of that kitchen and through the front door.

*****

When Austin pulls the car into the parking lot of the flower shop connected to the cemetery your brother is buried in, you feel your heart begin to swell.

On the drive over, you began to brainstorm ideas of where it is your boyfriend was taking you. There was a small part of you that hoped he wasn’t driving you to some restaurant or your family’s house to try and take your mind off today, but that he was taking you right to this very place. In your mind, there’s no better way to celebrate and remember your brother than celebrating with him as much as you’re physically able to.

Not a lot of people find comfort in visiting a grave in a cemetery, but it’s one of the only ways you’re able to feel some sort of closeness to your brother. He might not be visible to you, but there’s something about sitting there and just talking out loud to him that allows you to feel some semblance of peace.

“Now I know everyone feels differently when it comes to visiting graves and doing stuff like this. So if you’re at all uncomfortable being here, you just let me know and I’ll turn this car around, we’ll go right back home, and I’ll apologize for the rest of my life for ever crossing any boundaries with you.”

A breathy laughs escapes you and you shake your head as you reach out and hold Austin’s hand in yours. “No, this is perfect. I very much appreciate you even thinking of doing this. I haven’t been able to come out here in a while, especially not alone, so I’m grateful you brought me here and that you’re willing to be by my side during it.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he smiles.

Austin turns off the car and the two of you make your way inside, the smell of fresh flowers instantly hitting your nose and you breath in deeply, wanting to hold onto it. It’s crazy to think there could be something so beautiful and alive surrounded by a place so sorrowful and morbid. Somehow, you think there’s something poetic to be found in that.

Both you and Austin wander around the shop for a while, taking in all the gorgeous arrangements decorated specifically for different types of family members. You see plaques for parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and then finally siblings. It hurts your heart to know people lose their loved ones in a blink of an eye every day. No one is safe from the horrors and unfairness of the world, but you wish with everything you’ve got that they were.

You wish nearly every day that your brother had been.

As you walk further down the aisle, you find yourself getting stopped by a bouquet. It stands out from the others, it’s almost as if the colors and arrangement of it were calling out to you. One look at it and you know instantly it’s the one you’d like to get for your brother.

“Aus, this one’s perfect,” you say softly, stopping your boyfriend in his tracks. He looks over at it and smiles fondly. He thinks it’s perfect almost as much as you do.

Austin instantly grabs it and the two of you walk over to the checkout counter. You reach into your purse so you can grab your wallet, but the actor holds his hand out and shakes his head. “Let me, for his birthday.”

Tears immediately spring to your eyes at the sentiment and all you’re able to do in response is nod your head slightly and give Austin a wobbly smile. You don’t know why you’re so surprised over all of this. This is who Austin is, it’s who he always has been, and it’s who he always will be.

*****

The gravel road that winds every which way through the cemetery causes the car to shake just slightly as Austin follows your instructions to get to your brother’s grave. You’re not entirely convinced that’s the sole reason your stomach starts to knot though.

Even though it’s been a while since you’ve visited this place, the moment Austin pulled up to the gates it was like you were here just yesterday. The landmarks are all too familiar, the shapes of other people’s headstones, and the view of other grieving families scattered around bring everything back instantly.

As you look around and tell Austin to pull over to the right up ahead, you start to feel a little lightheaded. In your mind you can see the day you buried your brother so vividly. You can hear the sniffles of family and friends and feel the slight breeze in the air as he was lowered into the ground.

Even though you appreciate being able to still somewhat spend time with your brother here, it does make it all seem so much more real. When you don’t come and visit, sometimes you’re able to pretend that he’s still here, still alive. But the minute you see that headstone, you’re reminded that he’s not, and it gets harder to shake the sadness.

Austin puts the car in park and you both sit in silence for a moment. He watches you look out the window, knowing all too well the emotions running through you right now. He gives you a minute more before speaking up.

“Do you want me to wait in the car or is it okay to come with you?” His deep voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you blink several times before looking over at him.

“No, come with me, please? I-I want you there.” Austin nods his head and exits the car, coming over to the passenger side and helping you out of the car as you hold onto your brother’s bouquet.

Grass crunches under your shoes as you walk the few feet to your brother’s grave, and a soft gasp passes through your lips as you come face to face with the headstone that’s seared itself into your mind forever.

Kneeling down, you brush off the small bits of leaves and grass that’ve taken residence on the light gray stone. Your fingers trace over the letters imprinted within it and with each passing letter you feel your heart squeeze inside your chest.

It’s so unfair how life can change so drastically in an instant. You remember the last conversation you had with your brother and you wish you would’ve known that would be the last time you spoke to him. You would’ve said more, would’ve memorized more about his voice and the way he laughed. You would’ve held on to anything and everything you could if it meant keeping even one more tiny thing of him close to you.

Lifting up the bouquet in front of you, you make sure everything in it looks perfect before placing it by the headstone and then standing back up by your boyfriend. The flowers look beautiful and you hate that you can’t physically give them to your brother on his special day. You just hope he’s somewhere looking down at you and seeing how loved he still is. How he’ll always be celebrated.

Suddenly, you feel Austin softly place his hand on your lower back and begin to rub circles on it. This is something he often does when he can tell you’re sad or getting overwhelmed and just need some sort of comfort. It always helps calm you down and you appreciate Austin doing it in this moment.

Austin truly cares so much for you and it blows your mind every single day how lucky you are to have someone like him in your life. Everything from the grand gestures to the smallest little things he does for you, you find yourself being so grateful for it all. He’s such a wonderful guy and you smile thinking about how well he would’ve gotten along with your brother.

You know instantly your brother would’ve adored him. He’d definitely try to play the protective brother card and give off the impression he’d never approve, but in your heart you know Austin would’ve had him wrapped around his finger, much like how he has you. You could see them hanging out and watching sports together, talking about music and films, and overall finding such a genuine friendship within each other.

The thought brings a smile to your face and you let out a small laugh thinking about all the chaos they’d get up to together.

Austin notices and his own curious smile adorns his lips as he wonders what you could possibly be thinking about. “What’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“I know you never got to meet him,” you start, a small tear trailing down your cheek as you take your eyes off the headstone in front of you and look towards your boyfriend. “But he’d really like you.”

A small puff of air leaves Austin as he takes in your words. In an instant he has you wrapped in his arms and his lips pressed against your forehead. “Oh, baby. I wish with all my heart I could’ve met him.”

You nod your head silently against him, knowing with everything you’ve got that he genuinely means it.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Aus,” you whisper, your words a soft rumble against the blonde’s chest. “You have no idea how much this means to me. I appreciate it so much.”

“You don’t have to thank me, but you’re welcome. I’d do practically anything for you—especially this—and especially today.”

You know Austin’s unfortunately no stranger to grief. He knows the pain of losing a loved one just as much as you do and you think it’s so kind of him to do all of this with you when you know it probably puts him back in his own memories of loss. The thought alone makes you squeeze him a little harder and plant a soft kiss on his cheek. “I love you, Austin.”

“I love you too,” he smiles. “Y’know if you wanna do this every year for your brother’s birthday, we definitely can. If you want to, that is. I know it’ll never change the fact he’s no longer with us, but maybe celebrating him like this and coming to leave some flowers at his grave every year can help you feel a little bit closer to him in a way.”

“Yeah, I’d really love that. I think he would too.” You smile up at your boyfriend and take in his thoughtful proposition. You’d love to come visit your brother’s grave like this for his birthday every year. Like Austin said, it’ll never change the fact he’s not here with you anymore, but at least it gives you something to hold onto. It gives you something to keep your brother just a little bit closer to you, and you’d do anything to make that happen.

“It’s a deal then,” Austin says before leaning down and kissing you on the forehead. After pulling away he crouches down and plants himself on the grass. “C’mon, no more birthday blues. Let’s sit for a while. I’d love for you to tell me more about your brother.”

Your heart soars at his interest. Most people would want to flee this situation. Get as far away from a place like this and ignore the fact someone’s passed on completely. Not Austin. He faces it head first. He knows it’s hard, but he also knows it can be healing to do and it can mean a lot to someone too. He can tell by the look on your face he’s made the right call, and he’s grateful he’s able to be here for you in whatever way you need him.

“Well, where do I begin?” You wonder as you sit down next to the blonde. You rack your brain and try to decide on what story or fun fact you should share first. God knows you have an endless supply of them tucked away in your memory. Some funny, some sad, and some downright disturbing in the best way possible.

You glance over at Austin, settling on one and as you go to start sharing one of your favorite memories of your brother, you watch as your boyfriend completely tunes in to whatever it is you’re about to say. Nothing else seems to matter in this moment to him and that alone makes you want to wrap your arms around him and never let go.

Yeah, you think in your head, in a way speaking to your brother. You definitely would’ve liked him.

[male-readerwriter]

Johnny Storm x Male Reader

Title: BURNING LOVE!!

WARNING'S: Language, FLUFF, brief sexual thoughts, headcanons for Johnny Storm falling in love with male reader in the void, Romance

M/N= Male Reader Name/ Male Name.

First and third person POV

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

You were sent to the void after being caught stealing a rare diamond from a museum worth 35 million dollars, it wasn't the first time you've gotten in trouble for stealing- this was more like the 100th or 200th.

You were an international thief, you alone were able to pull off some of the most infamous and greatest robbery's ever. You were constantly in and out of prison but after this well- turns out they were sick of you breaking into places and stealing things so they ended up sending you to the void leaving you to rot with everything else they deemed trash.

You had heard of this place while in prison so you kinda knew it was only sooner or later until you were sent here but you never expected it to be this bad , things were constantly after you as if it wasn't bad enough that there was basically no food in this shit hole you had to deal with monsters, people, and animals chasing you trying to either kill or kidnap you to take you to some women named Cassandra Nova - who the fuck was that?

After a rough day of being chased by people and monsters alike you were getting exhausted and STARVING and you were suddenly getting very dizzy and you could have sworn you saw a man covered in flames flying through the sky fighting off the things chasing you, next thing you know you passed out.

You woke up to the smell of food and when you looked around and it was suddenly night time and you were in a place you didn't recognize, it looked like some type of hideout but nobody was their at least you thought. After rushing over to the food scarfing it down almost immediately a man's voice from behind you laughed saying "look's like someone's hungry".

Who the hell could that be? And what did he want, did he want to hurt me? Dropping the food out of my hand I turned around to see a muscular man in a blue shirt with a 4 on it, my heart skipped a beat. I was still terrified thinking of what he could do to me but damn was he sexy. He took a few steps towards me with his hand outstretched and a warm smile on his face- he seems friendly.

"Hey, I'm johnny. Nice to meet you" I allow him to take my hand, shaking it in a greeting manner "I'm M/N, sorry I was hungry" I respond. Something about this guy intimidated him in a good way.

"No, help yourself we got plenty" he giggles as he lets go of my hand, the smile this guy has is so warming it's lighting up my heart. My heart is beating out of my chest "how did I get here?" I ask taking a bite out of a big turkey leg.

He tells me how he found me and fought off the things after me then took me to his hideout, he says he stays here with a few friends he met who I soon meet named Elektra, Blade, X-23, and Gambit who was my personal favorite other than Johnny. After introducing themselves they all went off doing their own thing not wanting to overwhelm me, I continue eating more food still starving but Johnny stays by my side the entire time still chatting away. There's something about this guy that I immediately wanna cling to and he's not bad looking he can definitely manhandle me any time he pleases the- sorry got off track there, he's just that good looking.

We end up talking for 3 hours straight and I realize my dumb ass has already fallen in love with this man (even though I just met him) there was something about him and he was hot literally. I found out he was able to set his entire body in flames and he could fly all he had to do was say two little words "flame on".

He ended up showing me at a later time, he and his friends explained pretty much everything I need to know about the void then they told me I could stay with them but there was one little problem...

I had to share a bed with Mr. Johnny Storm.

I had no problem with that in any way shape or form neither did Johnny it seemed, though he had kept blushing the first couple of nights I shared a bed with him, after that he started acting a little awkward he'd start smiling everytime I came around, and he started playfully flirting I assumed. After a little while I started flirting back and every time I did he'd start blushing like crazy, which was really confusing considering the way he usually acted before he started flirting with me.

His behavior screamed fuckboy yet he wasn't a bad guy, he never acted like a pig he - seemed like a typical straight guy fuck boy. But he was the most perfect guy you'd ever met and it only made you fall for him more and more.

You assumed he was straight at least but one day when you were walking back into the hideout you heard everyone talking about you so you decided to stay hidden and listen. Somehow they figured out you had feelings for Johnny and before you could even be shocked by that Elektra commented how she knew Johnny had feelings for you as well.

You were flabbergasted, he felt the same way you did and yet he never knew the things you did, everytime he asked how you got sent to the void you changed the subject.

That's when you decided to tell him the truth, you were expecting judgment but surprisingly he was completely fine with it and he didn't care what you did saying you were still a good person at heart. After telling him that you found that it was much easier to open up to him and in no time you both confessed you have feelings for one another.

You were outside going for a walk with him playfully flirting with each other as usually when suddenly Johnny became quite. "Hey, what's on your mind?" You asked and before he could come up with some lame excuse he found himself saying "I have something important to tell you". That's when he told you he had feelings for you, he didn't just have feelings for you, he loved you.

"I'm in love with you M/N, I've been in love with you since the moment I first saw you're fine ass" he said giving your ass a nice smack, and that was the fuckboy part of him coming out but you still couldn't have been happier.

He asked you to be his boyfriend and you said yes, jumping at the opportunity to be in a relationship with Johnny. You were never this kind of guy to rush into some relationship all willy nilly but Johnny was different from any guy you'd ever met before, it was hard to explain -

He was just special, he was Johnny.

The others pretty much ended up finding out we were in a relationship immediately, even though we discussed not telling them at first but it was apparently way to hard for Johnny to keep his hands off me and keep his dirty jokes to himself. So everyone found out awkwardly standing around because Johnny was bad at keep secrets.

It happened I the morning-

He was the last to wake up and the first thing he did was wrap his arms around my waist and shove his head in the crook of my neck mumbling "Mornin babe" just loud enough for everyone to hear it and look over at us shocked we actually got together.

But after about a minute they got over the shock and congratulated us saying things like "about time" or Gambit trying to be sexual and make dirty jokes about the relationship but Johnny is always able to match his freak and make the same type of jokes back. Their banter is always fun to watch.

We all stuck together when we went out incase we had a run in with Cassandra Nova and her gang (I learned she was someone not to be messed with- she's professor X's brother and she's incredibly powerful so I'm the void that basically made her the HBIC and everyone feared her) Johnny liked to act like he wasn't scared of her and he had no problem voicing his hatred for her but I know him- if he had a one on one run in with her he'd most likely end up pissing himself.

There was never much to do in the void but he still tried to do special things for you, like date nights or a walking hand in hand at night when not many people were around to bother you both.

He seems like some typical fuck boy but you knew he was so much more, he was romantic and loved the attention you gave him literally any type of attention you gave him put a big smile on his face and a pink tint to his cheeks, he's such a dork.

He loves cuddles and so do you, it's both of your favorite thing to do to pass the time, well that and sex! you both are pretty wild in the bedroom, and luckily Johnny has a lot of stamina.

Whenever your together it's like time just stops and the only thing either of you care about is each other (you're so wrapped up in each other's little bubble, it's like you were made for each other) he never judged you for who you were even tho you were pretty much polar opposites and he's a hero and you used to be a villain -kinda- but that all changed after going to the void.

In this place you never know how much time you have like you can literally all die at any second, but it doesn't matter as long as you have him by your side you'd happily live in the moment and don't even think about what tomorrow could possibly bring.

He is my world, my human torch....

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Oop.

Literally had no idea how to end this so that's why the ending is so abrupt sorry- also sorry for any spelling errors I didn't proof read.

Hope it was at least a little enjoyable, I'll be better in the future I haven't written in a bit sorry- 🤣 FEM READERS, AND MINORS DNI! go away-

[sunniques]

COULD YOU PLEASE DO PERV WONWOO😓😓LIKE HIM STEALING YOUR PANTIES OR SMTH...STALKER PERV

(also I found your writings a couple days ago and I am OBSESSED)

i will because i don’t think we talk about perv!wonwoo enough on here ☝️ALSO i’m glad you like my work and i hope you continue to like my upcoming fics <3

Wonwoo knows he’s sick, but it’s easy not to feel guilty when he has your lacy panties wrapped around his cock. That, and he has your freshly used cotton ones balled up and pressed against his nose. Your scent is overwhelming in the best way, and he keeps imagining what it would be like to have you ride his face.

Would you be a screamer? Even if you weren’t, he’s sure you would be for him. If ever given the chance, he’s eat your pussy until you cried. He pictures how wet you’d get for him, how your thighs would tremble around his head as you gasp for air. You’re so sweet that you’d thank him for fucking you so good with his tongue. Of course, those would be the last words you’d be able to form because he’d get you to cream on his tongue until your body was completely spent.

He gets lost in his fantasies, fucking his aching cock faster.

Lewd, wet sounds fill his room as he grunts into the soft fabric of your underwear. Usually, he moans your name while picturing you in all sorts of different positions, but he can’t be too loud since you’re actually staying in tonight.

Of course knowing you’re just on the other side of his wall turns him on more, though.

“Fuck,” he moans softly, fucking his hand faster as he pictures what your pretty face would look like if he had his cock inside you.

He’d fuck you in every position possible, stretching you out until you get used to his big cock. Wonwoo knows you’d be so pliant and pretty for him. And you’d beg for more. He knows you would.

A knock on his door makes him flinch, but he still doesn’t stop what he’s doing. He can’t. Especially knowing you’re on the other side of that door.

“Nonu?”

He hums in response. The sound of your sweet voice makes his dick leak with more precum.

“Did you want to watch a movie with me in my room?” You wonder shyly. “I even made some snacks.”

God, are you sweet. Of course he’s going to take you up on your offer, but not before he finishes in your sexy little panties.

“Sure,” his deep voice comes out even, thankfully. “I’ll meet you there in a second, sweetheart. Let me change into something more comfortable.”

Your excited okay helps push him over the edge, and as he shoots hot ropes of cum all over his stomach, he hopes that you’ll want to cuddle him like you do every so often. He thinks he’ll be safe from popping a boner in the first ten minutes since he just came.

When he joins you under your soft covers, he realizes that cumming didn’t help. At all.

[genderqueerdykes]

the election results have me feeling really bummed out as a closeted/pre-everything transmasc person. i feel like im grieving a version of myself that will never get to exist because im too scared

hey it's okay to feel this way, i'm sorry you're so scared right now

something i'd like everyone to keep in mind is that it's literally impossible for trump to change everything overnight. i hate our government but it has to fight with itself in order to function. individual states in the country are proposing some very questionable and unsafe bills, but it's not a reason to give up hope. there will always be states in our country like California who have and maintain strong enough trans protection laws that people will still have somewhere to go

change when it comes to government is gradual. it doesn't happen over night. that's how transphobes and republicans want you to feeel. they want you to give up, to become defeated and to never, ever try to transition. youre not wrong for feeling bummed, but do not give up on your transition because of them. that's what they want. fight like hell for your future. fight like hell for your comfort and identity

if anything now is the best time to get started. trump literally cannot do anything until January. and even then that's the motion of attempting to put bills and laws into action. attempting. there's no guarantee anything will be passed. reminder that we lived thru 4 years of trump before and barely anything happened. republicans are not as scary as we think they are. trump is a fascist yes but he can only do so much when it comes to bickering with the rest of the government

government moves slowly. change happens gradually. if you need help relocating to a safer place, feel free to ask. pursue transition now if you have the ability to. don't let some fascists get into your head and make you think it will literally be impossible. i promise it won't. they want you to get scared and feel like they're so powerful you can't do anything. fortunately the're not. you don't have to give up on your future. you don't have to give up on transition

take care of yourself, okay? it's okay to feel bummed but don't let them get too deep into your head. thats exactly what they want. they want all the trannies to detransition, go back into the closet, or never transition. and it's okay if people do this. but this is what they want. im going to continue being shamelessly trans. im going to continue being a tranny who looks acts and sounds queer. i know not every queer can do this. i know not every trans preson has that luxury

if you genuinely can't medically or socially transition it's alright. a lot of people just can't. it genuinely is very unsafe for many people. but i just want to stress that things will not become 1000x worse over night. you still have a chance. and there are people fighting for your right to transition right now. we will continue to fight harder. defeat is not an option- we will not let it be.

good luck, i hope you're able to feel better soon. take care of youreslf, no matter what you choose it's okay. but remember that change happens gradually. we will adapt

[tubbytarchia]

Wild Life Session 4 smallidarity thoughts (+ some Scar and Lizzie)

See it was all fine, nothing to worry about!! Joel couldn't bring himself to kill Jimmy, he barely even harmed him. I'm pretty sure he shot him just once (after Jimmy trampled their crops so. fair)? Joel calmed down, he rebuilt his car, everything is fine. He says at the start that he's wary of Jimmy because of him going after Joel last time, and that's about it for the time being

Jimmy dies and Joel makes a deal out of it and calls him a muppet. As per usual. Meanwhile Jimmy is still adamant to get at Joel whilst Scar tries to deter him because they want to be an alliance

He and Jimmy meet up at some point after their brief interaction at the start where Joel shot him, and they just banter. And Gem and Scar are just standing there like "guyss we're a family come on" meanwhile Joel and Jimmy's exchange goes as follows: Jimmy: "you're the ones with tasty lives!" Joel: "yeah bet you wish you could have a chunk of me!" "Oh I'm having a chunk out of you!" "Yeah and you know where to take that chunk out of!" "Oh I'm gonna take it! I'm taking it!" "You should!" And then Gem and Scar tell them to break it up and Joel goes "we're just flirting!!" ? what the fuck? Genuinely WHAT are they talking about. is this an innuendo of some sort. is this another ambiguous smallidarity sex scene sorry who said that

Jimmy gets a double kill (in the most adorable way btw. The way he weasels his way in there and backs off and comes back to try again all crouched. animal) and goddd people hyping him up is so so sweet. He deserves this. He's also a little bit evil, he's getting the murder rush but I'm happy for him. He needs to kill more people, he needs to get this out of his system, he deserves this, things need to get worse before they get better. ANYWAY Scar all "that was the greatest kill ever on the life series" is so cute. And man I gotta agree. There's more unique and funny and impressive kills but I would not mind calling this the best just for the fact that it's Jimmy. He's competent, he can do shit like this, but it feels like most everyone and the world is continuously against his survival, but here he is... my son...

And then Joel coming up to congratulate him... Really blummin cute. In Joel's POV also, he says "I went to congratulate Jimmy and we had a moment" which I wager he might be referring to the creeper incident as 'the moment' but that'd make no sense to call it that. With that tonation. Why did he say it like that. Stop being cute

But yeah Scar tries to blow Joel up with creepers only for Joel to save him from his own creeper and he's so casual about it. He is incredibly kind to the bamboozlers, it's really cute...

And then Jimmy does it!! He gets Joel!! And he gets him real good!! And can you believe that the first person to kill either of the family duo is Jimmy, of all people. Scott has died by this point too and Jimmy is the one to make a dent in the full 6-life alliance. Crazy. I'm so proud of him. It was seriously really good too, see, when Jimmy puts his mind to something and is able to focus he excels, he really does. And Joel, oh Joel is such a good sport about it. He keeps saying how it was good and fair and that he still wants an allyship with him. Tells him "welcome back to green" aww. And they make a truce, Jimmy got it out of his system and now they can be friends and go kill other people instead and Joel is proud of him... Jimmy "Joel, I finally got you, so I will stop now, so let's do the perfect dap" and then they both count down and clap their hands to simulate slapping palms. Awesome. All of Joel and Jimmy is just really cute this time around. Very happy about them being a more proper alliance now, but we'll see if it sticks... Joel can only be so mean to Jimmy at this point though I don't think he has it in him to betray him or anything lol. Can't speak for the rest of them but not too worried for the smallidarity, it's a plentiful crop...

Also a very important exchange between Lizzie and Jimmy at some point: "I just finangled a load of diamonds off of Joel" "Oh? How did you do that?" "I asked him just really nicely" (lie btw she was moreso extorting Joel) "Oh, that doesn't work when I... I guess... you are his wife, I guess..." "Yeah..." "Lucky for some I guess- right (unrelated topic)" I'm not 100% confident that's what Jimmy said at the end, it's a bit hard to make out but. what? Hello?

I also extend gratitude towards Lizzie for being so nice and supportive of Jimmy, she was the one to suggest the cobweb creeper trap that ended up taking Joel out, but she also insisted that he drink a health restoration stew beforehand in case anything went wrong. Jimmy didn't end up doing so (he was full) and Lizzie is all "why?" and "something could have gone wrong". man. Nice to him...

[sakashq]

Too Late. 𐙚 kenan yildiz x fem!oc

🪬 summary. In which Isabel has never experienced love and doesn’t know what to expect of it. Once she’s shown it, she doesn’t know what to do.

🪬 face claim. this story is based on a work i had published on wattpad but have since unpublished. qlorify IS me guys i’m not stealing💔. she was a black woman in the book so i still fully see her as one here, but imagine isa as you please.

🪬 yap! I hate my ex. but i also miss him. so this is my current feelings for him written as someone else for someone else🤗. to my favorite divas who unfortunately have to go through this weird ass break up with me! @ar4ujos @hrts4havertz @planetpedri @halfwayhearted 🩵

Isabel was not one to love. She just wanted to feel loved. She hadn’t yet met someone that was worthy of her love, past situations failing on the guy’s end. Love was such a strange concept for Isabel, the girl never being shot by one of Cupid’s arrows. Sometimes she felt like she wasn’t worthy of an arrow, watching everyone around her except her fall in love with their forever.

It wasn’t like there was something wrong with Isabel. She was beautiful—talented, too. Would do anything to make someone feel the way she wanted to feel, even if love was too strong and too terrifying for her.

She considered it ‘like-like’, more than liking someone, but not as much as loving them. Loving someone felt too scary, as she knew if she grew attached she wouldn’t be able to let go. And Isa wasn’t one to take no for an answer.

That’s why she couldn’t love. She’d get too attached and lose herself in that person. Who knows, if they were really worthy of her love, she’d destroy herself for them. It was like a lose/lose situation; if Isa loved, she’d lose herself. If she didn’t, she’d lose that person.

Well, this was all before him.

Someway somehow, Kenan had something different to him. He wasn’t like the other guys who wanted Isa. Personality wise, sure, but still. Something was off.

She didn’t know it at the time, but he was starting to develop feelings. They’d seen each other several times by this point, even going as far as texting everyday. He was doing what Isabel feared the most; falling in love.

He didn’t know it at the time, but Kenan was not falling in love with Isa. He fully thought he was, the idea of being with her being something he constantly thought about and highly considered. She was beautiful—talented, too. There was nothing he couldn’t like about her. Her flaws seemed like ghosts, being there but not seen. Maybe had he caught it he would’ve realized she was falling in love.

This scared Isa. She had never fallen in love with anyone. What made Kenan so different?

This scared Kenan. He had tried love a few times and desperately wanted it with Isabel, so why couldn’t he? There was something wrong with him, something so irrevocably wrong that he begun to hate himself for it.

He didn’t know it at the time, but he was scared of love with Isa.

She didn’t know it at the time, but she was scared of not loving Kenan.

He came to her door with flowers, as he had done once every week to convince himself that he really did love her. She answered as she always did, a bright smile on her face and her heart beating out of her chest.

“Hi,” she continued to smile, her stomach feeling like it was trying to crawl it’s way up to her heart.

“Hi,” he repeated back to her, a smile on his face. Why couldn’t he love her as she did him?

“Come in.”

He did as she said, putting the bouquet in their designated vase. “What’d you do today?” He inquired, hoping that conversation would plant a seed in him that would blossom into love for the girl.

“Nothing much. You?” She responded, sitting down at her counter. He sat next to her, their chairs facing each other.

“Bought your flowers.” They both chuckled. One with love, the other with anxiety.

“They’re beautiful, per usual. Thank you, Kenan.” She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He was so handome, she didn’t know if she could stop loving him.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was so pretty, why couldn’t he love her?

They hung out for a while, soon moving to the couch. He had his arm around her, she had her head on his shoulder.

“Kenan,” she spoke softly.

“Hmm?” He replied, taking his eyes off the movie in front of him and looking at her.

Her eyes met his and she melted into him. “I’m scared.”

“Why?” His voice was filled with genuine concern. Why didn’t see feel safe with him? Was this his fault? What did he do wrong?

“I… I’ve never loved someone the way I love you. And it scares me.”

He tensed up and froze. What? She loved him? No, no, no, this couldn’t be. She couldn’t love him. He couldn’t even love her! How could someone afraid of love make an exception for someone who didn’t feel the same?

“I’m sorry, that was way too forward,” Isabel frowned, moving out of his arms. “I didn’t mean…”

“Hey,” he held onto her, using his hand to guide her head to look at him. “It’s okay. I feel the same way.” That was a lie. He didn’t even know what he wanted.

Her face lit up, her brown eyes shining brightly against the TV glow. “Really?”

He smiled at her seeing her excitement, wishing he could share it with her. “Of course.” He kissed her gently, their soft lips connecting. This wasn’t the first time they’d done this.

“What does this mean now?” Isa asked after a few moments.

“What?” He knew what she was asking. He just didn’t know what to say.

“I mean… you love me, I love you. What’s that mean for us?” She questioned.

He had to ask her the question now, if he didn’t he’d seem like an asshole. He already told her that he’s in love with her, might as well right? “We… Can I be your boyfriend?”

It was already set in motion; it was too late. Kenan was now stuck.

[neuvigroove]

𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚.

pairings. scaramouche x fem reader synopsis. scaramouche swore to himself to protect you from dottore, but in order to do so, he must abandon you. before he leaves though, he makes sure to put a smile on your face. genre/warnings. pure angst, written in scara's pov, reader is energetic and childish, she/her pronouns used for reader, mentions of blood, stabbing, and death wc. 1.1k a/n. i actually shed a tear while writing this and listening to summertime sadness. playlist. die first - nessa barrett, summertime sadness - lana del rey, train wreck - james arthur

[2:39pm]

today is y/n's birthday.

i can see her in the near distance, skipping around like an excited little kid. she's always had too much energy for me to bear, but perhaps i've grown used to it, seeing that she's always glued to my side for some reason unknown to me.

that bliss however, will change today. dottore knows about where she's from. a planet far from the depths of teyvat. a globe dominated solely by the human race with no room for elemental power. a planet currently known as earth.

very little is known about this planet, which only causes dottore's interest to peak. her origin makes her the perfect test subject for the doctor, but i will not let him lay a dirty fingernail on her.

we cannot continue to travel as one; dottore will find her if she's with me. i don't have any cards left to play.

i do worry that leaving her alone would put her in another danger. she carries no vision, nor any strength that could compare to the creatures of teyvat. however, nothing is more dangerous than becoming an experiment of the second fatui harbinger. on the inside i know she'll be okay. she can find-

she can find my replacement. a new companion.

my only option is to watch over her from the shadows. that is the only way i can protect her.

sometimes i can tell that i hurt her feelings when we converse. but my personality is something i can't change, and she's never seemed to want change from me. perhaps that's why i've enjoyed her company more than i could ever enjoy another human being's. she understands me more than i think she does.

since i made her cry on her last birthday, i've decided that i could attempt to make her smile this time around. in my defense though, the cookies she made for us to share together were truly detrimental. but... maybe my words were too harsh. i forget what i said exactly... "you wanna poison me? are you so dumb as to have forgotten that i'm not human?"

my eyes trail back to ms. craziness and my eyes widen when she trips over a tree branch. i actually have no idea how i've been traveling together with a girl who has two left legs without dying. i don't notice the tears streaming from my eyes until she looks my way and spots me.

she runs over to me, and i quickly wipe the useless, hot tears. when i see her happy expression, i need to make an effort not to let the guilt eat me alive. i think i've admitted it to myself a while ago, but i love y/n. i'd presumed just as everyone else that i'm a puppet incapable of anything close to love, but if what i feel for y/n isn't love then i'm not sure what it is. i am positive that it is love. when you experience pain, you don't doubt it and assume it's something else. you just feel. and when i'm with her i feel.

"SCARA!" y/n exclaims as she topples me over in a hug. i nearly fall to the ground, but i'm able to catch us before it's too late. gosh, can she even contain her energy for two rational seconds?

i shove her off of me, but before i can say anything, she excitedly holds up a compass-like trinket in my face. "look! a sweet young boy gave me this lovely compass! it's supposed to lead you to wherever you'll be the happiest! and~ it led me right to you! we are just the perfect little duo, aren't we scara?"

i scoff, "and you believe that? it led you towards me because i'm standing north from where you were earlier."

y/n's excited expression drops.

"oh..." she pouts. "well... we can still pretend, right?"

pretend. maybe i can pretend she'll always be with me.

"pretending won't get you anywhere in life," i respond flatly.

"oh, but you pretend all the time," she responds. "i know you sometimes pretend that you can't hear me when i ramble about random things. although it hurts my feelings, you're still my best friend, scara."

what she said is actually not true. i in fact remember everything she rambles about in great detail. like that one time she was complaining about how she hates her hair because the wind blows it in an unattractive way. it was just so annoying because she needs to set her priorities straight. her appearance should be the last of her worries.

"give me your hand," i say. my voice is softer than i intended it to be. when she extends her hand, i slip a diamond bracelet around her wrist. on it is a charm with her nickname for me engraved in the center: scara.

please don't forget about me.

"oh, scara... it's beautiful! I'll never take it off. i promise."

"i have a matching one," i respond as i hold up my wrist for her the see.

she smiles when she sees the nickname engraved on my bracelet: princess.

there it is. her smile.

i sigh. "human, i know that you have your other shenanigans to deal with today, as do i. but meet me up that hill in the forest at sunset."

"oh, okay? scara, why are you being extra nice today?"

"um," i attempt a half smile. "it's your birthday, isn't it?"

[6:03pm]

i pick up the sword from the wet grass of the forest mountain beneath me. it's raining hard tonight. y/n is going to catch a cold, and i won't be there to care.

i walk over to the puppet standing across from me. my puppet. the puppet i've created to fake my own death. isn't it funny? the puppet of a puppet. both abandoned by their creators.

i take my bracelet off and slip it on its wrist. she has to believe it's me.

"i'm sorry," i whisper before stabbing my clone in the chest. i close my eyes when i hear my own voice cry out in a short-lived pain. it falls to the ground, lifeless as i walk away into the forest.

the bloodshed spreads with the heavy rain, and moments later, i see y/n approach the dead body. there she is.

and i feel as if my nonexistent heart has cracked in half when she screams. my eyes close in a sort of pain i've never experienced before. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, princess. it's the only way you wouldn't look for me.

i wish that a day will come where we can be partners again. but on the inside i know that her human lifespan is not long enough to fulfill that silly wish.

scaramouche fanart credit: X (Twitter) : llxx88103769

[mischiefbuckley]

okay Buddie’s first argument when they first get together is so gonna be the “first and last conversation” because again depending on how they move forward in the next few episodes showing how Buck is dealing with the breakup like if they do show Buck going out to bars or back on the dating apps and hooking up with people, like it’s Buck finally able to be his genuine self and try to see what’s out there for him and it’s him coming to terms as well with what he truly wants in his next relationship moving forward, so I don’t think he’ll jump straight in to another relationship but he’s a sexually active person like no shame in him having his fun as a single bisexual man now

paralleled with that we have Eddie who’s coming to terms with thinking about his past and future and how he needs to work on himself first and foremost and how he can experience joy and not feel ashamed and doesn’t need to deny himself the simple pleasures and joy in his life and say if he continues to talk with the priest or if he is just shown as working on himself first he will soon realize that he already has someone in his life he cares about and someone that understands him and is always there for him even in the simple pleasures of not confessing everything at the moment but just being able to sit in a comfortable silence with him and how he will always be an important person in his life

so if when we do get Eddie realizing his feelings for Buck and when he confesses and they when they get together I think Buck will be hesitant about it because he always feels like he’s never enough for someone to stay with him and Eddie will feel overwhelmed and joyful because for the first time in his life he is happy in a relationship and doesn’t need to abide to any beliefs he can just be himself and experience joy and that includes him being in a relationship with his best friend, so the fight will be Buck telling Eddie something along the lines of him not knowing what’s out there and they he should experience more than him and Eddie reminding Buck that he’s an easy person to love and that’s there’s no one else out there for him again like that being a parallel to the line of Eddie telling Buck back in season 3 that there’s no one else he trusts with his son more than him like I’m gonna start crying just thinking about this now

[ayyy-pee]

A request reader find a hidden library and go back in time meeting geto or choso and she like him but he has a girlfriend in the past. Reader meets future them and he recognizes her and still in love with her

HI NONNIE!!!

So sorry I'm so late on this one! (exactly one month lol). Here it is! I hope you like it!

Discord 18+ - Bluesky

Pairing: Choso x Fem! Reader

WC: 4.9k

Summary: …the heart slips backward, remembering, remembering. Anne Sexton - 'The Twelve-Thousand-Day Honeymoon'

Story Warning: Time travel?, Choso Fluff, Pining and heartbreak

Art by: shesdeny on X

“Are you sure this is the right way?” You whisper, hands latched onto your friend’s shirt.

“Yes!” Your friend whispers back, exasperation clear in his voice. “Don’t you trust me?”

You stare at the back of his head, his stupid white strands practically glowing in the moonlight as he leads you through the halls of your old high school.

“Absolutely not.”

Your friend huffs, continuing his way down the halls.

“Satoru, why the hell did they choose to have the party here anyway? This place was a shit hole even before it closed down.”

It’s dingy in here, you can barely make out your surroundings with the dim moonlight that fights to be seen through the dusty hall windows. Satoru is your lifeline, his fearlessness and long legs carrying you on this journey. The musty smell of old and rotting piles of paper makes you pinch your nostrils shut. You can hear the echo of faucets dripping from somewhere. You don’t even want to imagine what color the water coming from those pipes may be. Trash and graffiti litter the floors and the walls, and you swear you’ve seen at least six rats which makes you cling to Satoru even harder. 

You haven’t set foot in this place since the day you’d graduated, damning this building to hell and leaving it and all four years spent in it behind you. You don’t know how all these years later, Satoru was able to convince you to show up and why you had to take some strange path to get to the gym.

“Couldn’t Suguru have chosen a better place for this?” You whimper, stepping over something suspiciously fuzzy.

”Ah, you know Sugu. He loves to do things his own way.”

You roll your eyes, because that’s just Satoru excusing his friend for being a dick and making everyone trek through garbage to get to his party. If anything, Suguru is likely viewing this as some strange test to see who cares enough about him to show up. You hate it, and at this moment, you hate Suguru, too.

Satoru helps you step over a pile of glass, then quickly leads you down a hall. You wonder for a brief moment why you haven’t seen anyone else yet. If this is as huge a rager as Suguru and Satoru have made it out to be, you would think you’d bump into more people along the way.

This thought quickly subsides as you continue down the hall with Satoru, recognizing this space as the hall that leads to the gymnasium. There are lanterns decorating the path that leads to the closed gym doors at the end of the hall, and you can hear music bumping loudly on the other side.

”God, finally,” you breathe, following after Satoru. You can’t wait to get the hell out of these wretched halls and see your friends and old classmates. 

Old classmates…

Satoru reaches the door, sets his hand on the handle and then you quickly grab his wrist.

”Wait!” Eyes wide, you stare up at your friend. You try to squeeze the words out, a name that you haven’t said in so long because it hurts just to think it. And Satoru sees it, the way your brows knit together and how you purse your lips like it’s a forbidden word you just aren’t allowed to utter. He takes your hand in his and squeezes gently, and with the other, he pinches your cheek. It’s something he’s always done, even when you were younger. Something that grounds you when you feel like you’re spiraling.

”Hey…” his voice is soft, soothing. Exactly the way you need it to be. “I wish I could tell you whether or not he’d be here…but I don’t know.” Satoru eyes you warily, like he probably shouldn’t tell you this, but he decides to anyway. “I can tell you that he was invited, though. You know he and Sugu are close.”

That’s enough to make your heart squeeze, even after all these years. You wonder if you’ll see him tonight, the man who broke your heart with a few words, and hardly batted an eye.

Satoru looks you over, then places his hand back on the door handle. “I’ll go in first, cause a ruckus so that the attention isn’t on you. Then you can slip in quietly, okay?”

You nod, Satoru giving you one last smile before he swings the door open with a jarring slam and yells out a loud, “PARTY’S HEREEEEEE!”

The crowd of people roars in celebration, the sound emanating even through the now closed doors. Satoru has always been popular, always breathed life into any room he entered. And you’ve always been content to stand back and watch. So you do as you always have, and you quietly slip through the doors of the gym.

As you do, the cheers grow distant, sounding further and further away until the sound fades into complete silence. You’re confused, because Satoru just came in here and you know you heard everyone scream his name. You’re positive you didn’t imagine that.

And that’s not the only strange occurrence. Unless the school went through a massive renovation in the last like 14 seconds - which you doubt, given that it’s been shut down for years - you’re pretty sure this room you’re currently standing in is supposed to be the gymnasium. But you’re spinning on your heel, the dizziness beginning to settle in because you can’t wrap your head around the fact that you’re in a library.

Not the library that you’d been to many times throughout your high school years. No, this library is different. This room is grandiose, lined with large and ornate wooden shelves, tall and towering, filled with volumes upon volumes of books that are probably as old as your grandparents – and maybe their grandparents as well. There’s no sort of natural lighting in this room like there was in the library you remember. The only illumination is provided by two large candle chandeliers that hang heavily from the ceiling.

The intense silence in this room is unsettling. The only comfort you’re finding is in the musty scent of aged books drifting through the air. But other than that, you are utterly alone in this mysterious and strange room.

“S-” you try to croak out, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. “Satoru…” you whisper, and it’s just so empty in here that even your small voice echoes throughout the space. You’re afraid to speak any louder than this, because what if there is someone - or something - in here with you?

The thought sends shivers up your spine and you slowly back away, your backside hitting the worn down gymnasium doors. Okay, at least there’s something familiar here…wherever here is.

“Satoru…” you call, just a little louder. There’s no answer. “Suguru?” You try, but you’re met with the same haunting silence that seems to always be here.

You close your eyes, take a deep breath, trying so, so hard to figure out where the hell you are and how to get back to the gym and find your friends. You could turn around and go back in the hall. It’s as creepy as this library, but at least you’ll be back in the school. It’s somewhere familiar and better than this. Or you could stay here, and wait and see who or what comes looking for you.

The answer is obvious.

You spin around, pressing your hands on the gymnasium doors and pushing hard. And maybe you push a little too hard, because the door swings open easily and you find yourself falling to the floor. You close your eyes and act on instinct, quickly throwing your arms out as you fall to your knees and catch yourself on your hands.

“Ow…shit,” you groan. You open your eyes, gaze meeting the floor, and the first thing you notice is how bright it is. You can actually make out the details around you, which scares you more than the library because how? The floor is covered with white tiles, speckled with gray spots you recognize immediately. They’re the schools, well they’re what the school floors used to look like. But you don’t remember there being this much light in the halls when you were coming here with Satoru.

The second thing you notice is all the noise, a stark contrast to the soundlessness of the library you’d just emerged from. It sounds like excited chatter, screams, footsteps and laughter.

“Ask your mom if you can sleep over,” one girl says.

“No way! She’ll say no. You ask her!” another girl argues.

One boy yells something crude out to his friends, causing laughing to erupt.

Are you…back in high school?

The third thing you notice is a pair of black boots that have suddenly appeared in your vision, followed by a hand. You observe this hand - the chipped, black nail polish and several rings decorating the fingers - and you have a feeling you know who this belongs to. Your heart drops to your stomach, because this…this has happened before, and you did not like the outcome when it happened the first time. You doubt you’ll like it any better now. 

You take the hand regardless, and the person slowly pulls you up.

“You okay?” They ask, tired eyes roaming over your form to check for any injuries. “You…fainted, I think.”

Their name gets caught in your throat, much like earlier when Satoru was comforting you.

“Sorry,” they tell you, a frown on their face. “I appreciate you coming and telling me this…”

Your mind screams ‘No, no, no! Not this moment!’ and you want to cover your ears and run, but the scene plays out before you anyway.

“But –” they say a girl’s name, but you don’t hear it. Like your mind is still blocking that out to spare you some of the heartache. “ – confessed to me a couple of days ago. We just started dating…so no one else knows yet.”

You nod, because what else can you say at this moment? You can hardly keep up with what’s going on, and you just want to get out of here as quickly as possible and back to your friends.

“Choso!” You hear someone call this person’s name as they pass by you two. “You’re gonna be late to gym!”

“Choso…” you’re finally able to speak, though his name feels foreign on your tongue. There he is. The man, well at this present moment, the boy who broke your heart all those years ago. He looks about a decade younger, just as you remember him. You remember this moment exactly.

It was your senior year of high school, and you’d finally gathered enough courage to tell your crush since middle school that you wanted to go out on a date with him. And he’d broken your heart.

It was more than a crush, though. You loved him. You’d be lying if you said you don’t still feel the same way.

Choso nods, eyes back on you and you can see concern in them. “I’m really sorry, ___.” 

It’s the time you’ve heard Choso say your name in who knows how long. He looks like he wants to say more, like he doesn’t want to leave you standing in the hall alone looking all sad and pathetic because that’s exactly how you feel right now. Even though this happened forever and a day ago, it still feels fresh. 

But he says nothing more. Instead, he gives you a stiff smile, which somehow makes you feel worse, and then he steps around you and through the gym doors.

Now alone again, you let your mind play catch up. Your eyes scan your surroundings. There are bright red, colorful lockers lining the walls of the hallway. People - teenagers - roaming the halls as they scurry to class. There’s a stench of body odor and too much cologne floating around that’s making you nauseous. And there’s one question that’s swimming through your mind at the moment.

“What the fuck is going on?”

It’s just your luck that someone is passing by the moment you utter these words, halting in their tracks and glaring down at you.

“Language!” He barks, and you recognize who this deep voice belongs to immediately. Tall, with a buzz cut and a goatee.  

“Mr. Yaga!” You remember him being kind and caring with all of his students. He took interest in everyone’s growth and only wanted the best for them all.

The school bell rings loudly throughout the halls, alerting anyone still out that they’re now late to class.

Yaga scowls down at you, and then you also remember that as sweet as Mr. Yaga was, he was also a stickler for rules.

“Profanity and tardiness,” Yaga notes. He folds his arms across this chest, a deep frown settling on his face. “Looks like I’ll be seeing you in detention this afternoon.”

-

You hated high school, so to find yourself unlucky enough to be sitting in a classroom stuck in afterschool detention while you watch the boy you had confessed to having feelings for just earlier in the day cuddled up with his new girlfriend is your own personal hell.

Mr. Kusakabe is as useless as you remember, having fallen asleep just minutes after he had announced that detention was beginning. The second snores were heard, Choso’s girlfriend - whose name you still can’t recall - closed the gap between them immediately, her lips crashing into his, and it’s just been giggles and lips smacking since.

A quiet groan can be heard next to you, and from your peripheral you can make out a head of white hair taking a seat in the desk beside you. Your head snaps over to your friend, lips spreading in a wide smile because of course he’s in detention. It’s nice to see a familiar face.

“How’d it go?” Satoru leans in, whispering. “Not good I’m guessing, since he’s over there with…you know…not you.”

You sigh, explaining the situation to Satoru who just nods along. It’s a little bizarre to be filling Satoru in on what you know he already knows. But you do it anyway, because you’re not sure what else to do. You’d gone through the rest of your day after your unfortunate run in with Yaga on sort of autopilot, going to class, eating the disgusting school lunch, seeing friends that you haven’t talked to in over a decade and trying to keep up with the gossip you don’t remember anymore.

But in the unfamiliarity of it all, there’s one face that makes you feel steady, that grounds you when it feels like your world is spinning. Satoru looks at you curiously, head tilting forward so that his round sunglasses slip down the bridge of his nose so he can get a good look at you.

“You alright?” He questions, reaching forward and pinching your cheek gently. “I half expected you to be inconsolable about this. I know how much you like…”

He doesn’t say his name, but you can obviously fill in the blank.

“Besides,” Satoru adds. “You guys used to be really close.”

“Ah, that was a long time ago. Like…sophomore year.”

“Still…”

Still, it hurts.

“Oh well,” Satoru shrugs, leaning forward and laying his head down on his desk. He looks ready to take a nap. “We’re graduating soon anyway. There’s plenty of other guys out there for you. Hopefully you don’t stay stuck on him.”

If only he knew he’d be telling you this years down the line…

You and Choso had been close, having spent your middle school years inseparable. But once you got to high school, things just changed for you two. Your interests changed, and the people you surround yourself with slowly followed.

It just naturally happened, you and Choso texting less and only speaking when you’d run into each other. Those weekend movie nights you used to have stopped altogether, and eventually you’d just…drifted apart. Strangers.

But it didn’t change the fact that you liked Choso, even before you got to high school. He was your first crush, the first boy who ever made you feel safe, your first true friend. And you loved him. You loved him as more than a friend, and this morning you’d made the terribly awkward mistake of telling him how you felt.

You remember this day going a little differently. Senior year you hid in the bathrooms for the rest of the day after your rejection until you worked up the courage to sneak out of the school and walk home. You skipped your classes for the rest of the week which resulted in your parents giving you an earful, but you just couldn’t face Choso again.

It was Satoru that pulled you out of your pit of despair and forced you to hold your head high, even when you didn’t want to. You showed up to school, avoided Choso the best you could and when you did end up in the same space, you avoided looking in his direction with all your might. You couldn’t bear to see his fingers interwoven with his girlfriends, or the smiles you’re sure he gave her, or the kisses they’d shared.

He was hopelessly in love with her, and you were pathetically in love with him. 

It was too painful to watch him love someone that wasn’t you back then. Even having lived this before, there’s still that familiar pang when you catch sight of the way Choso’s arms hold his girlfriend tightly as she sits in his lap during detention.

Your eyes drift over to Satoru whose mouth hangs open as he snores softly beside you, and you do your best to focus on him. But you can’t when Choso and his girlfriend are laughing loudly, huddled closely together and sharing sweet secrets with each other. You shut your eyes tightly, trying to block out the sound of giggles, smooches and whispers between the new couple. 

It all seems louder now. Everything does. The sounds of pencils scribbling on paper, the annoying tapping of the keypad on phones, and that fucking kissing. God, do they ever stop?! 

You try to shut out the noises, covering your ears. It’s making your head throb. You shut out Satoru’s voice as he holds onto your shoulders and shakes you, only making the pounding in your skull intensify. You want to smack his hand away and tell him to shut up, but you can’t. Not when the sound of music that someone must be playing way too loudly in their headphones is now ringing in your ears and making your head spin. Not when the sound of Choso calling out your name is making your chest hurt, making your heart squeeze uncomfortably.

The music blares louder, harder and the sound of your name on multiple people’s lips makes you squeeze your eyes shut tighter. It’s detention! You know it gets rowdy sometimes, but why is everyone suddenly acting like all this noise isn’t going to get you all in more trouble?! You don’t want any part in ending up here for even another second. You want to leave, go back to the stinky closed down school.

You don’t want to be here anymore.

You don’t want to live through this again.

You just want –

“Choso!” Satoru’s voice cuts through your thoughts loud and clear. “Grab me a wet towel! Over there!” Satoru pinches your cheek, a little harder than he usually does and you can tell he’s panicking. “Hey…hey, ___. Wake up! Open your eyes for me…”

Slowly, you do as your friend asks, eyes opening and you’re met with a pair of blue eyes that glow so brightly in this dim lighting that had it been anyone aside from you, they’d surely be met with two fingers jabbed into them and a blood curdling scream. 

“Satoru?!” Your brows pull together in confusion, because the last thing you remember is your friend - much younger - sleeping beside you in detention. But while you’re still in the school, it’s now back in the terrible, decrepit condition you remember it being in before things…changed?

“Are we in the library again?” You whisper.

Now Satoru’s brows pull together. “Library? Wow, you really hit your head hard.” You realize now that you’re lying in Satoru’s lap, a small crowd gathered around you. “She’s okay,” Satoru dismisses them. “C’mere, sit up for me.”

You’re about to ask more questions, until you see someone approaching the two of you. He kneels down beside you and presses a cold, wet towel to your forehead.

“Choso…” you breathe, staring up at the man you haven’t seen since…five minutes ago?

Choso smiles shyly. He looks older now, of course. But his face has changed in the best way. He’s more handsome, more defined, though he looks more tired than you remember. There’s a long tattooed line that runs from cheek to cheek across the bridge of his nose that you don’t think anyone but Choso could pull off, and his hair hangs messily around his face.

Your heart feels as if it’ll explode.

“You okay?” He asks, and you’re brought back to that moment you’d just relived. “You like…passed out. I came in a little after it happened.”

“I’m…I think I’m okay?”

Of course this is how you meet for the first time after years of not seeing or speaking to each other. Exactly the same way your last meeting played out. This is humiliating.

“You sure? Here,” Choso gently helps you to stand, holding tightly onto your hand. “Lets go sit down.”

Satoru eyes you, a silent “will you be alright?” passing between you, and you nod to assure him that you will be fine. Choso leads you across the gym, the party resuming like it never stopped. He sits you down on the bleachers on the sidelines and takes the seat next to yours. 

You would say that it’s awkward, but that would be an understatement. It’s downright painful sitting in this silence with him. You don’t know what to talk about because it’s been so long since you’ve seen or heard from each other. So you just sit there quietly, watching as your friends and old classmates drink and mingle with each other. You hold the wet towel to your head, your headache slowly subsiding.

Choso leans forward, elbows on his knees and fidgeting with his fingers, occasionally glancing over to you and only offering a smile when you meet his gaze. He does this several times until he finally clears his throat and sits up, looking over to you.

“So uh…how’ve you been?”

You want to roll your eyes because what a dumb question. But you appreciate the attempt he’s making. At least he’s trying to have a conversation. It’s more than you can say for yourself.

“I’ve been alright. Just working, traveling, hanging out with Satoru–”

Choso chuckles, nodding. “Not much has changed, then.”

And you giggle. “No, not really.”

Choso nods again, gaze shifting back to the party, and he’s back to fidgeting with his fingers. “You look good,” he murmurs, and you just barely hear it, that extra part… “That hasn’t changed either.”

He looks back at you, all wide eyed and shocked at what you’d just heard and he sits up straight in his seat, waving his hands in front of him. “I just mean…” Choso runs his fingers through his hair, the black polish and many rings he used to wear nowhere to be found. “Ah…fuck it.” He shifts his body so that he’s facing you. “I was gonna wait to do this, but honestly? I was just hoping you’d be here at all. I know it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other or even talked. And that’s on me. I should have reached out to you over the years to check in with you. But after the last time we spoke –”

“You mean when you rejected me?” You laugh nervously, trying to break this strange tension that’s slowly building up.

He nods, frowning. “Yeah…that. I just thought that after that, you’d never want to see me again. I mean, I knew you liked me and I let…what’s her name…”

He pauses, as though he’s really trying to remember his ex-girlfriend, but something he says stands out to you.

“Wait…you knew?”

Choso pinches the bridge of his nose, groaning quietly and shaking his head. “I’m really putting my foot in my mouth tonight.” He sighs deeply. “My ex…god, what was her name? Whatever. She apparently had overheard you and Satoru talking about your crush on me after school one day. No idea why she was listening that hard. But, she came to me and told me what she heard and…” Choso looks you straight in the eye, a tiny smile curling at the corners of his lips when he tells you, “I was so happy. But I was also scared, because I liked you, too.”

You can feel heart pounding against your ribs as Choso speaks, and you feel your headache returning as you try to process all of this new information.

“But you know…you and I were both just so quiet and shy back then. I had no idea what to actually do with that information. Especially since we had grown apart by then…We weren’t even friends by that point, and I was just…really nervous about saying anything to you about this. Somehow, I let her convince me that dating her would give you the push you needed to say something to me. But, I also let her convince me not to give in too quickly. Make you sweat, you know? And I’m like…eighteen at the time. I don’t know any better…”

He’s rambling, trying so hard to get his point across and your head and chest are throbbing because what is happening tonight?

“Choso–” you cut him off, burying your teeth in your bottom lip. “What are you trying to get at?”

Once more, his fingers are in his hair and he takes hold of the hand you have pressed to your forehead, pulling it down and taking the rag. He holds your hand firmly, eyes locked on yours and he speaks.

“It should have been you.”

You swear you feel like you’re back in the mysterious library again, because you hear nothing else but Choso at this very moment.

“What?”

“It should have been you, ___,” he repeats. “It should’ve been you that I dated in high school. I should’ve grown a pair and just told you how I felt instead of letting myself be coerced into something else. Turns out my ex was just a jealous and insecure teenage girl with a crush that she knew wouldn’t go anywhere if she hadn’t come up with a plan first. Because she knew what I didn’t at the time.”

Choso’s thumb runs idly along your knuckles, back and forth like he’s trying to soothe both you and himself.

“What did she know?” You ask, because you want him to say what you’re hoping, what you’ve always hoped to hear from Choso.

He inhales sharply, then continues. “That it’s always been you. For me, it’s always been you. Even all those years ago, even back in middle school, it was you. Even when you confessed how you felt to me and I turned you down, it was you. Even when you never looked my way again, it was you. Even now…it’s you.”

You can’t speak, can’t even breathe as you just stare at the man before you.

Always been you?

It’s still you?

What do you say to that?

“Say you’ll go out with me,” Choso answers, as if he’s read your mind. “I’ve wasted so much time doing nothing, being a coward. If you’re single, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to make it up to you.”

You haven’t cried over Choso in so long, but you can feel the tears prickling at your waterline and you swipe them away before they can fall. This time, it’s not because it hurts. On the contrary. It’s because it feels so fucking good to hear these words from Choso.

When this night first started, you dreaded it. You dreaded seeing Choso again after all this time, having thought he turned you down and left you behind in high school. Then you stumbled into that strange library that had thrown you into the past, made you relive what you believe is one of the most painful days of your life, only to end up in this moment with Choso finding that it was all just one big dramatic teenage misunderstanding.

You’re not even upset about it, because you’d never let go of the love you felt for him. It didn’t matter how many years passed. It was always Choso. It will always be Choso.

So you nod, drinking in the way Choso beams with excitement and he looks very much like the boy you remember falling in love with over a decade ago.

“Really?”

“Yes, Choso. How could I say no when it’s always been you?”