#it’s just been nonstop and I’m overwhelmed. and lonely. and tired

[plumdale]

I’m going home this weekend!!!! 😁😁

[tyongiecore]

winter, some chocolate and a bunch of love | LTY ; fluff, 1.3k

— Come on, Taeyong! — you yell at him, looking through the window. It's snowing out there, the ground is covered by a white tapestry and tiny snowflakes fall nonstop from the night sky.

— I'm comfortable in here. — on the bed, he is wrapped in a heavy and fluffy blanket, showing only his eyes and nose. — You can go if you want.

— But I wanna go with you. — you sit on his chair, sliding across the room until where he is. — You know, it's our first winter together. — you pout, looking at him with watering eyes.

He shifts under his soft fortress, making funny noises as if he is upset.

— You do this — he points at your expression. — just because you know I can't say no.

— Please, baby! — you beg, getting up the chair and jumping on him. — I'll make you hot chocolate when we get back. Please, please?

— With marshmallows? — now, he is the one making an emotional appeal. His boba eyes sparkle like a galaxy, an entire universe in front of you. 

— Anything you want. — you cup his face, half covered by the blanket. — It's a win-win situation, don't you think?

— Yeah. — he gets up, sitting on the mattress with you in his arms. He hugs you tight, covering your cheeks with popped kisses while you giggle under his touch.

You try to run away off his arms, but he is stronger.

— Taeyong, please! — he tickles you now, and your belly hurts from laughing so much.

— Alright, alright. — he gently touches your lips with his, kiss after kiss after kiss. — Let's go outside, my snow princess.

— Wow, wow! — Taeyong is amazed, his eyes going everywhere.

— It’s beautiful, isn’t it? — you are attached to each other. Your arm is intertwined with his, while your free hand squeezes his biceps.

— It is. — he supports the side of his face on the top of your head.

You two walk slowly along the frozen sidewalk, taking care not to fall. It’s kinda late and it’s basically just you and the boy you love the most enjoying the freezing night. Probably the rest of the people are in their homes like Taeyong wishes he was: hiding under a bunch of blankets, wearing stocks and what else.

But he couldn’t deny that to you, could he?

Not far away, you see a bench with an awning, which can protect you two from the snow.

— Let's sit there for a bit.

Still holding on each other, you rest. Taeyong puts his arm around you, bringing you even closer to him, hugging you and rubbing his gloved hands on your arm and thigh while you rest your head into his shoulder. The sound of the wind is the only thing you hear. The icy smoke comes out with each breath and you just enjoy each other's warm company in silence.

After a couple minutes, the man whispers into your ear.

— I can’t believe you bring me out here to fall asleep in the street.

Laughing, you turn your head to look at his profile. It’s been almost a year since you two are dating, but every single time you look at Taeyong, butterflies flying in your stomach. The beauty of that man is unbelievable, and every now and then you can’t but think about how your life ended up like this.

— I don’t, you silly.

— So why are you so quiet?

— I’m just thinking.

— Thinking about…?

You raise your body slightly, adjusting your posture on the bench.

— Us. — you hold onto him even more. He returns the affection, protecting you from the wind as he can.

— Thinking about how we are good together? — he giggles in that nasal cute way of his.

— Actually it’s more about how I ended up here with you.

— Literally or figuratively?

— You know what I meant.

— But why this? Why now? — Taeyong doesn’t look at you, but his caressing is nonstop, in a way to assure you that he is attentive to everything you want to say to him.

Even you can’t say exactly why. Your anxious mind is like this, always triggering when you are comfortable. Sometimes you feel tired. Sometimes you feel lonely. And most of the time you feel insufficient. It feels like in a snap of fingers he will no longer be with you. But you know very well that it has nothing to do with him. It’s your problem, and only yours.

— I love you so much, — you start. — but sometimes I feel I can’t bear it.

— Hey, hey. — the hand that was on your thigh now goes towards your face, cheeks reddened from the cold, and his eyes search for yours. You lean your head under his touch, feeling all his affection at the moment. — What do you mean you can't bear it?

— Ugh, I look like a fool. — you scoff. — You are infinitely good but my mind is against me.

— Is it something I did? — his brows frowned, concern visible on his features. — Please, tell me if I messed up with you.

— No, baby. Please! — you put your hands over his, trying to calm him down, looking deep into his huge orbs. — It is not about you, not at all.

— I hate to see you like this. — he is really upset. You rarely see Taeyong like that, but it seems that when it comes to you, his feelings are on the edge. — Tell me what bothers you.

— It is just… — you sigh. — I love you, Taeyong. I love you so much. My love for you is so great that my heart is overwhelmed. Now, at this moment, I know how much I love you. But I also know that tomorrow I will love you even more. How is it even possible? It sounds crazy, right? Am I crazy?

You run over words, speaking faster than you wanted to because of the state of nerves you are in.

He smiles at you in the most gentle possible way, not understanding exactly why you are so stressed, but deep in his heart he is overflowing by the words you just said.

— And since when is loving too much a problem? — he tilts his head. — Because I love you too. A lot, you know?

— I don't doubt it.

— So?

— I just wanna know if I am enough. — you look down, avoiding the deep gaze of the man who is so close.

He takes your face between his hands to rub his reddened nose over yours.

— If you don't doubt my love, you shouldn't doubt that either.

You close your eyes, feeling his hot minty breath in your skin.

— I'm sorry. — you pull his lips gently with yours, kissing him slowly. — I'm so dumb. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

— I flow for you.

Suddenly, Taeyong starts to sing on your lips.

— Your move, your mood, your mode.

At each verse, he kisses you.

— All of your sides. 

Kisses your nose.

— I love you.

Kisses your cheeks.

— All of you.

Kisses your forehead.

— Head to toe.

Kisses your chin.

— I love you.

And with the final verse, he kisses you deeply. Your bodies are glued together. The beat of your hearts in sync. The feeling of your hot mouths contrasts with the cold weather.

You love Taeyong, and he loves you. Anyone who has eyes can see. And most importantly, you both know. There is no more space for doubt, only the certainty that what you feel for each other is entirely reciprocal.

[chocoluckchipz]

The Other You - 14

Read it on A03, FF.net, WattPad

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“You’re on a roll, Marinette,” Adrien said, signing on the lines she’d indicated. “Five more completed outfits in a week. At this rate, you’ll be done way ahead of the due date.”

“Quite possibly,” she replied with a smile. “These are a few of the easier pieces, though. Others will take more time.”

“How many do you have left?”

“I think ten complete outfits and a few accessories. But we still have a month before the show, and with Felix by my side, I’m certain we’ll be done in three weeks max.”

“That’s amazing. Congratulations.”

“Largely thanks to you.” Marinette smiled at him again, picking up one of two small boxes she’d brought in with her. “Speaking of which—I wanted to thank you for that. It’s not much but I hope you’ll enjoy them.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as Marinette put the box into his hands. A present? From her to him? He could hardly believe it despite how far their relationship had come since he had apologized a few weeks ago. It wasn’t perfect. Far from it. But Marinette stopped avoiding him, and they could even hold a friendly, if short, conversation whenever they met. A present, however, was something beyond any of Adrien’s expectations. He raised the lid and almost gasped, a head-spinning aroma filling the space around him.

“You still like them, don’t you?” Marinette asked, watching his reaction. “Felix said you do, so direct all of your complaints to him.”

“I love eclairs.” Adrien grinned. “Thank you so much.”  

“Thank you,” Marinette said, putting a second box on his desk. “Can you also give this to Felix? I got busy finalizing the outfits and forgot to give it to him before he left.”

“Will do.” Adrien peeked into Felix’s box. Macarons. Yum.

“Thank you.” Marinette gathered her papers in a folder and clutched it to her chest. “I’ll be going then. Have a good evening, Adrien.”

“Have a good evening, Marinette.”

The moment the door closed behind her, Adrien dropped into his chair and grinned.

“She’s so pretty,” Duusu flew out of his hiding place. “You two would make such a beautiful couple.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Plagg yelled from his basket. “She hates our boy. He has no chance.”

“She didn’t seem to hate him just now,” Duusu defended. “Tell him, Nooroo. You felt it, didn’t you? She was happy to be here with him.”

“She was,” Nooroo said, munching on a cut of red silk. “But she also was hesitant and cautious. A little scared. Mostly happy, though.”

“Quit it, guys,” Adrien interrupted. “She’s happy because she’s on track with her work. Hesitant, cautious and scared because it takes a while to restore trust with a history as complicated as ours. That’s it. There is nothing more. There could be nothing more. I don’t think I’ve reached a ’friend’ tier yet, much less anything higher. And it’s not like I’m trying for anything above friendship either. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a ton of work to deal with before we can leave.”

Leaning over his desk, Adrien got back to the paperwork he was reviewing before Marinette came. With a mischievous grin, he reached into one of the boxes and popped an eclair straight into his mouth. They baked them together the previous night, but Marinette didn’t tell Chat that it was a present for her boss. Should he tease her about that?

“I bet five wheels of Camembert you want there to be something more.” Plagg plopped in front of him, a piece of his stinking cheese in his paws.

Adrien furrowed his eyebrows. “Wha—Plagg. No. You know I love Ladybug.”

“Yeah, and that’s why you had this sad, longing look on your face when you said, ‘there is nothing more’.”

“No, I didn’t,” Adrien protested. “Marinette’s just a friend.”

Plagg quirked an eyebrow. “A friend you spend most of your day with—as Felix by day and as Chat Noir by night. There’s barely any  time left when you aren’t with her.”

“That’s just how things worked out for now. Nothing I can do about it.”

“Nothing you would do,” Plagg challenged. “Because you’re enjoying your time with your ‘just a friend’ way too much to change anything.”

Adrien leaned back into his chair. Of course, he enjoyed his time with Marinette. He wouldn’t even bother to deny that because there was absolutely nothing wrong or weird about it. Marinette fed him delicious, homemade food daily, their dinners always filled with laughter and warmth. After years of surviving on prepackaged, frozen cuisine and local take-out, Adrien more than appreciated that. Since ‘Felix’ showed up, Marinette had stopped taking work home, which allowed them time to challenge each other in video games or watch an occasional movie after dinner. Adrien hadn’t done either of those in years. Not with a friend, at least.

Why should he change anything about their situation? Why would he? Marinette was wonderful and fun and absolutely amazing. So much that Adrien found himself dreading having to go home on multiple occasions already. She was warmth and light. She accepted him just the way he was, bad jokes and untimely puns, his dorkiness and love for anime. Being with her, he could be himself, spare revealing his civilian name, of course. Marinette felt like the home Adrien never had. There were even a few nights he’d accidentally fallen asleep on her couch, so cozy and comfortable he felt at Marinette’s. The first time that happened, Chat had forced himself up and away as soon as he woke up in the middle of the night, covered by a blanket. In all of the following cases though, Chat was having trouble doing so before the light of the rising sun peeked above the horizon. He reasoned that as long as he left before Marinette was up, it was all good.

There was one thing Adrien would definitely change, though. If he could.

‘Felix’.

A shiver ran across Adrien’s skin at the slightest memory because, unfortunately enough, he was able to remember everything that was happening during his ‘akuma’ times. Even now, Adrien could recall that overwhelming, insatiable desire to help and please Marinette coursing through his veins upon akumatization. Completely overpowered by it, ‘Felix’ could hardly control his actions. Yes, he helped with making outfits, courtesy of the real Felix being a great professional. However, it didn’t stop there.

‘Felix’ constantly flirted with and complimented Marinette. For the sole purpose of giving her a confidence boost, of course. He chatted nonstop about everything and anything so she wouldn’t feel lonely. He cracked jokes and punned to brighten her mood and make her smile. He did everything she could potentially want. And Adrien meant everything. Lunchtime was approaching? ‘Felix’ was setting the table and delivering the food he knew Marinette liked plus a surprise item from the cafeteria just in time for her break. Her cell phone chimed? He was holding it out to her a second later. She had to leave the room? He was opening the door. Marinette mentioned she was thirsty or even looked like she could use a drink? ‘Felix’ was already holding at least three different bottles he’d just bought from the vending machine down the hallway for her to choose from. Marinette needed to stand up, he was right there offering her a hand. Marinette needed to use the washroom… Yup, he opened the door for her, walked her down the hallway and had the sense to ask how it went and if she was feeling better.

And he did all of it with that serious, mostly emotionless face his cousin always wore around anyone other than his family.

Banging his head on the desk, Adrien groaned. He had never been so embarrassed in his life. The whole situation was humiliating and mortifying for both of them. He even debated giving up on this crazy idea of his after the initial trial run, but in the end, Adrien couldn’t bring himself to do so. Marinette needed him, and he wouldn’t be the man he thought himself to be if he couldn’t bear some humiliation in order to help a friend in need. Thankfully, after establishing some boundaries which ‘Felix’ had a really hard time respecting, Marinette seemed to have gradually gotten used to ‘Felix’s’ wacky ways. Or at least she had told Chat Noir so, who was sure to ask her as often as possible about what she thought of her new assistant and if he needed his butt kicked.

His phone chimed, bringing Adrien out of his mental ordeal.

Nino: Hey. I know our lunch didn’t go that well last time, but would you like to grab another one? I want to try that apology one more time.

Adrien let out a puff of air, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Nino never had been one to give up easily on anything he really cared about. After having had some time to cool down himself, Adrien’s initial anger and resentment subsided, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to give up on Nino either. Especially not after his former best friend put aside his pride and reached out first.

Adrien: Sure. You do owe me a meal since I paid for the last one.

Nino: How does Saturday sound? Around noon? The same place?

Adrien: It’s a date.

“You haven’t had enough?” Plagg snarked from Adrien’s shoulder.

“Quite the opposite,” Adrien replied, relaxing in his seat. “I’ve had enough. I’ve been angry and resentful for years and I’m tired of that. I’ll meet with Nino again and if everything works out, I’ll get a friend. If not, closure doesn’t sound half bad. In any case, anything would be better than continuing the way I’ve been going up until now. Don’t you think so?”

Plagg grumbled.

“It’s a wise decision,” Nooroo spoke up. “Though I must admit I hope you can make it work. You feel lonely rather often, Master. Some friends will do you good.”

“He’s got me,” Plagg huffed. “Who else could he need?”

“Social interaction is an essential part of human existence, Plagg,” Nooroo replied. “And from what I’ve seen so far, Adrien would greatly benefit from having human friends in addition to kwamis.”

“Oh, you mean like Marinette?” Plagg snickered, glancing at Adrien. “She’s a really great friend to you, Adrien, isn’t she?”

“Not yet,” Adrien responded absentmindedly, returning to his paperwork once again.

In the last few weeks, the kwamis had taken a liking to discussing his personal life and choices, with Plagg inevitably being the one to criticize his every move. At first, Adrien had fought back, trying to justify himself. However, as time passed, he realized that it was futile and gave up, learning to ignore them instead. Adrien figured they’d lose interest eventually, and the less he played along, the faster that would happen. “We’re more in ‘not enemies anymore’ territory.”

“But you do want her to be your friend again, don’t you?”

“I already consider her a friend. It’s only a matter of her accepting Adrien-me as one at this point.”

“So why don’t you do anything to help that happen?” Plagg asked, floating right in front of Adrien’s face. “You’re going to lunch with Nino to rekindle your friendship. Ask Marinette to lunch as well. I’m sure it’ll help her to warm up to you faster.”

“I’m already spending lunches with Marinette every day.”

“As ‘Felix,’ which is unfair if you ask me.”

Adrien put his papers away and looked at Plagg. “How so?”

The kwami started to pace in a circle in midair with a smug grin on his face. “Well, by spending almost all of your day around her as Chat Noir and Felix, you’ve had a chance to get to know Marinette better. As a result, you want to be friends with her again. She, on the other hand, thinks she’s spending her time with three different people, Adrien receiving the least of her attention. How in the world is she going to decide if she wants to be friends with you if she has no opportunity to get to know you? It’s not like you’re going to reveal your identities to her, are you?”

Adrien hummed. Plagg had a point. He had been rediscovering this new, more mature, but just as fun as ever Marinette all this time. Still as brave and fearless. Kind, compassionate and fun. Creative and beautiful. He already considered her his friend again. For her, though, Adrien had barely moved from “enemy” to “can tolerate him” territory. At least that was what Adrien had gathered from the way Marinette behaved around him and what little she let slip around Chat. Perhaps Plagg had a good idea for once, and Adrien needed to spend more time with Marinette as himself if he wanted her to give him a real chance.

“And what do you propose I do?”

“I already told you,” Plagg groaned. “Ask her out to lunch. Easy.”

“Yes! Ask her to lunch, Master,” Duusuu added. “It’ll be so romantic.”

Adrien frowned. “Good point. I should make sure she knows it’s a friendly lunch and not a date, or she’ll never accept. Maybe I should make it work-related? Then she'd be more likely to agree, right?”

“Absolutely.” Plagg grinned. “But that means ‘Felix’ would need to leave before lunch that day, wouldn’t he?”

Adrien narrowed his eyes at the kwami. “You’re doing this only so you can de-akumatize me, aren’t you?”

Plagg’s grin widened before he dramatically gasped. “How could you think that about me? Really, Adrien? After everything we’ve been through?”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow.

“Nooooo.” Plagg faked disappointment. “Do you really think I enjoy tickling you to the point of forcing you to escape the office to make me pay for it?”

Adrien glared. “Marinette thinks ‘Felix’ has some kind of health issue thanks to you.”

“You told me yourself to do ‘whatever it takes’ to get you out of that room, didn’t you?” Plagg responded with a look of utmost innocence on his face. “And is this what I get for my hard work? Do you even realize how hard it is to get you away from her? You should be thanking me, not complaining.”

“Don’t count on it.” Adrien sighed, turning his attention back to his papers. “Okay. I’ll ask her to lunch. Now, leave me alone. I have work to do.”

“As you wish,” Plagg grinned and flew away.

Adrien tried to work, struggling to concentrate for some time. Asking Marinette to lunch as Adrien was probably not a good idea, but Plagg was right. If he wanted to make any progress in his goal of renewing their friendship, he had to do something as Adrien as well. Lunch sounded easy and innocent enough.

***

The aroma alone was making him dizzy. Gosh, he wondered if that rent fee was a smart choice after all because one of these days he was sure Marinette was going to kill him with the deliciousness of her food. That or he’d get addicted and become her slave for a meal a day. He couldn’t let her know, though. After all, he was Chat Noir, the hero of Paris and the coolest cat in the city. He forced himself to forgo the ode to her food he’d prepared and simply ask her instead, “What smells so good, Princess?”

“Navarin D’Agneau,” Marinette replied with a smile. “Would you mind cutting the bread, Chat? I can’t leave this pot alone.”

“Of course.”

“Wash your paws first.”

“Do I look like I have a death wish to touch your food with dirty hands?” Chat chuckled and dodged Marinette’s attempt to smack his shoulder. He stuck his tongue at her. “Missed me. Better luck next time.”

“Real mature of you, Chat.” Marinette laughed. “What are you, five?”

“No. But I’m eternally young.”

“I can see that. Before you get to that bread, can you pass me that ladle?”

“Your wish is my command.” He bowed and, after carefully washing his hands, passed her the utensil.

“Dork.” Marinette giggled as she ladled their meal into bowls. “Finish the bread and we’re ready to go.”

“Right. Already on it.”

How they fell into this easy routine, he didn’t know, but their dinners slowly morphed into them preparing the meal together instead of Marinette cooking for him. Not that Chat was helping much, but it felt good not to be useless in the kitchen. It also meant he could head over straight after work, instead of waiting for nine o’clock. He could always claim he had come early to help.

Their conversations had evolved as well as they discussed their days and cracked jokes like a pair of old friends. ‘Felix’ and his antics were a constant in their discussions. However, today it was a different man that Marinette was talking about.

“My boss asked me to lunch,” she said as they were nearly finished with their meal. “I couldn’t say no because he used the work excuse, but I don’t really know how I feel about it.”

Chat swallowed his food. “Why? I thought you didn’t hate the guy anymore?”

Marinette pursed her lips. “No. I wouldn’t say I hate him. He apologized and we talked and cleared all the misunderstandings, so I guess we’re good in that respect.”

“I feel like there’s a ‘but’.”

She hummed. “There is. Even with everything resolved, I don’t think I’m ready to jump back into friendship territory with him yet, but I feel like this is where he wants to be already.”

Chat’s shoulders slumped. Plagg was right. Marinette didn’t see Adrien as a potential friend yet. Perhaps he’d rushed with the whole lunch thing.

“You should’ve just told him that,” he murmured, focusing back on his bowl. “I’m sure he would’ve understood.”

“He’s my boss, Chat. And he’s been helping me with my collection even though it isn’t essential to Gabriel’s success during Fashion Week. I can’t refuse him something as simple as lunch.”

“But you shouldn’t have to force yourself to have lunch with someone you aren’t comfortable with, even if he is your boss,” Chat said, already thinking of how he could cancel on Marinette without making her suspect a thing or making her uncomfortable. “Tell him you’re busy. He used work to invite you, so use work to refuse the invitation.”

She took a few moments to reply, but when she did there was a smile on her lips. “Nah. I’ll go. He’s been trying really hard to atone for his mistakes, so maybe I should also try to make up for mine. Getting lunch together sounds easy enough and seems like a good opportunity to see if we could be friends again one day.”

He stilled. “Are you sure?”

Marinette nodded. “Positive. What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like he’s going to fire me or anything.”

Chat grinned. “I’m sure he won’t. You’re way too pretty and talented to be fired. Not to mention an amazing cook. Bring him some pastries and he’ll be putty in your hands forever.”

Marinette giggled. “You’re such a professional flatterer, Chat. I bet you can give Felix a run for his money in that department.”

“I’m sure I can. What do I get if I win?”

“What do you want?”

“Another chance to kick your ass in UMS.”

There was a glint in Marinette’s eyes as her lips stretched wide in a grin. “You don’t have to win a prize for that. You’re so on, Chat Noir.”

“Prepare to be vanquished, Princess. I’ve been practicing.”

“Dream on. You’re going down. Loser washes the dishes.”

“Best of five wins.”

“I’m turning the console on.”

“I’m cleaning the table.”

“Let the battle begin!”

***

Two victories, three lost games, and one session of washing the dishes later, Chat Noir lingered at Marinette’s place as long as he could. He would’ve stayed for another hour or two, but he only had so many excuses to use. Around midnight, Marinette shoved him out the window, claiming she had to wake up early the next day.

“You still have your patrol to do, don’t you? Go. Don’t make Ladybug wait,” she ordered.

The truth was, Ladybug was the last person Chat Noir wanted to see right now. Don’t get him wrong—he still loved her. He just couldn’t look her in the eyes, knowing that he was keeping secrets from her. It was more than Chat could handle at the moment. Revealing said secrets was out of the question as well because that was sure to bring up conversations he wasn’t ready for. Not to mention Ladybug, as the Guardian, would want Nooroo and Duusu back in the Miracle Box and Chat couldn’t let that happen yet. Marinette’s show was scheduled for the end of August. She needed ‘Felix’ in the meanwhile. This time frame would also give Chat time to prepare for an inevitable reveal of his and Hawkmoth’s identities. Until then, though, Chat Noir was doing his best to avoid his partner because lying to her was something he couldn’t do, and keeping secrets from her was something he wished he didn’t have to do.

After racing as fast as he could through his patrol route—so as not to meet his partner—Chat Noir headed home, thoughts of Marinette and their impending lunch on his mind. He had to do his best for her to feel comfortable and safe around him. He couldn’t scare her away now, not after Marinette’s friendship had somehow migrated to the top of his priorities. He had no idea how that happened or even why, but if Adrien could make it a reality, he’d be damned if he didn’t give it his best effort.

Next >

[katsukis-sad-angel]

FatSquadCanons; During and right after the Chisaki arc

Pairing: Taishiro Toyomitsu x Reader, Eijirou Kirishima x Reader, & Tamaki Amajiki x Reader

Summary: The Fat Gum squad and their girlfriends/wives/fiancees during and right after the Chisaki Arc in My Hero academia

Warnings: Sex talk, slight angst, mentions of intercourse, cock-warming, swearing, cuteness

Author’s Note: That gif below brought back the sun, cured my depression, got rid of my anxiety, cured the coronavirus, and made Jesus rise from the cross and beat the shit out of Pontious Pilate

Enjoy!

Taishiro Toyomitsu

Mostly SFW

Misses you

A LOT

You’re so pretty and happy and you give the best hugs and have the sweetest voice so being deprived of those things for so long…

But he had to focus

They had to save Eri, so he couldn’t have your elegant features staining the cloth of his mind right now

You, on the other hand, try and cope with your worry, lust, and sadness by rolling up in his spare hero hoodies and his big black shirts because they’re warm and they smell just like him

You miss the way he held you in his arms as though you were made of porcelain, the way he kissed your lips like it was the last time, his big, warm, soft stomach you could sink into, the twisty blonde hair you loved combing your fingers through, his big smile, his huge hands, his hugs, his lips, his dick, and his laugh

That chuckle...

It would be the death of you

You just wanted to be back in his arms… or in his lap…

Or under him while he fucked your brains out

Pick one

He hasn’t been home in 2 whole week

So your touch starved as fuck, hungry for dick, lonely, sad, and worried

You’ve been eating dinner alone and the news has been on nonstop

So when he comes home with bandages all over his scraggly, skinny yet buff body, you immediately start bawling your eyes out

You’re so happy he’s safe and alive

He holds out one of his arms to you and you stumble from your chair and collapse into his arms

“Tai! Oh, my god!”

He picks you up and carries you to the couch like the goddess you are and lays down with you, kissing your cheeks, telling you how beautiful you are and how much he missed you until your stormy sobs have calmed to the occasional violent hiccup

“Honey bear, it’s ok. I’m here now. Don’t cry sweetheart…”

I want him to call me ‘honey bear’

The two of you lay there for the rest of the day

You get up occasionally to get your man food and to take a piss, but that’s about it

Refuses to let go of your waist even though his stomach sounds like a possessed garbage disposal

“Don’t worry about me Y/n, I’m fine. Just stay here, ok?”

You rest your head on his chest to listen to the beat of his heart

Nice pecs pillow

Forehead kisses, ear nibbles, ass and thigh grabs, hand kisses, etc

He’s all over you

He thinks you such a beautiful goddamn queen through the bright red tearstains and the evidence of emotional eating that had gathered on your hips

He tells you that, just the part about your cute and squishy hips

You end up falling asleep like that under a pile of blankets

NSFW

The very next day, as soon as you’re up, you start riding him like a horse

“That’s it babygirl, be a nice little cowgirl for me. Just like that~”

“Did you miss my cock while I was gone?” He’ll whisper in your ear, sucking on one of your piercings

“Yes, fuck yes I did Tai!”

Holds your bouncing hips with the one hand that works, kisses you, sucks tiddy, and makes sure you get off at least twice before he does

When he’s done, you collapse on his chest, panting

For a couple of hours, you lay there cock warming him because he asked you to

Then his stomach started up again and you got off and fed him everything in the house while naked because he asked you too

The end

Because you asked me too

Tamaki Amajiki

SFW

…

Poor sweet elf boi

Doesn’t really know how to cope

Spends a lot of time locked in his room

You notice he’s eating less

When he allows you to come into his room, he’s always wearing one of the hoodies you let him have

On those nights, there isn’t a lot of talking, but there is a lot of cuddling

He rests his head either on your chest or your stomach, wraps his muscley arms around your waist and holds you close

Whispers ‘I love you y/n.’ every so often

You’re really worried about him

His pretty black eyes are dull, he slouches more, Mirio can’t cheer him up, you can’t cheer him up, his indigo floof droops a little, dark bags under his eyes, stutters a lot more → talks even less than before, he looks sad, and is jumpy

He’s been really distant too

Staring off into the distance, completely zoned out and lost in his thoughts

24/7

So one day when he comes back from patrol with that spunky redhead and Fatgum, you go to his room and knock

No answer

You knock again

Still no answer

You fumble with the doorknob, but it’s locked

Using your quirk, you manage to get it open

“Tama, why is your-”

“Tamaki?”

Tamaki Amajiki was rolled up in several blankets, making him look like an adorable burrito

He was struggling to escape his warm cocoon, squeaking softly as he attempted to get his arms out

He blushed as soon as you saw him and then tried to hide his face in embarrassment, but you didn’t let him sink too far

You smiled indulgently and helped him unroll

“Tamaki, if you were cold then- Wait… are those my socks?”

“Yes.” He mumbled, hiding his face in your shoulder

You giggled

“Don’t be embarrassed Tama! If you want my clothes, just ask!”

You wrap your arms around him and pull him down so you’re laying comfortably in his bed together

“How are you doing?” You coo, stroking his soft indigo locks

“Awful.” He mumbled, burying his face in your chest

“I’m sorry to hear that…” You reply, tracing the indent on the back of his neck, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes. But I’m not allowed.”

“Oh. That’s ok. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but just try not to think about it. I know it’s hard and you’re under a lot of pressure, but tonight, just think about me. Or takoyaki. Or Nejire and Mirio.”

“You smell good.” He whispered bashfully, “New perfume?”

“Mm-hm! You like it?”

“Yup.”

“Good.”

You smiled sweetly, letting his soft voice (I love you Aaron Dismuke) play its melody over and over again in your brain

You were so lucky

You kissed his forehead and whispered, “If you need someone to talk to, I’m right here Tamaki. Ok?”

He nodded sleepily, eyelids drooping from lack of sleep

“I love you bunny.”

“Sweet dreams.” You sigh, relaxing in his safe embrace

NSFW

Don’t get me wrong, Tamaki is one of the sweetest, kindest, most adorable yet hot guys EVER, but he isn’t some fucking pushover

He’s domming your sorry ass in bed, whether you like it or not

He’s got tentacles

TENTACLES

GOOD HENTAI ANIME = TENTACLES

And he fucking knows how to use them to make you scream

He also has a cow hoof you can stretch yourself on

What happens if he eats noodles?

But that’s beside the point

Tentacles

With those, he can tease you, tie you up, make you cum, squirt, serve as a second dick for ur arse, put them in your mouth, etc etc etc

Anything you can imagine

Picture this: Tamaki is fucking your from behind, buried to the hilt in your cunt. Two tentacles trapping your arms against your back, one in your ass, one in your mouth, and one massaging your throbbing clit

You’re overstimulated, moaning, and crying from the pleasure, pain, and overwhelming arousal

“Do you like my tentacles Bunny? Does it feel good?”

“So wet for me… such a pretty Bunny when I fuck you like this.”

“More? Greedy bunnies get punished~”

Loves it when you’re all needy, hot, and bothered underneath him, begging for just a simple touch

It makes him feel really strong and happy

Knows it feels good because you make the most erotic faces

Nuts almost immediately when you do → tongue lolling out, eyes rolled back, mouth open in a silent scream, and cheeks flushed

Aftercare? 

You won’t even remember the accidental scratch you got from the lobster claw

Sore pussy and/or ass?

Hickeys?

Dry throat?

Hungry?

Anything marring the beautiful expanse of skin before him?

Gone

He’ll massage you, give you a bath, food, water, endless kisses, hums to you softly, bandage you up (if need be) and tuck you in

He NEVER wants to lose you to someone else, so he makes ABSOLUTELY sure, you’re 100% feeling loved at the end

He loves you so much

Never forget that

Eijirou Kirishima

Mostly SFW

Baby boy…

He has been very distant since this whole thing started

No more study and cuddle sessions (where you normally end up fucking)

Fewer hugs and kisses

No big girl fun time in bed

Not as many baby shark doot doo doo doo doo smiles

*author drowns in utter despair*

All you have are the clothes you steal from his closet every now and then

(every time you’re in his room) cough

So while boi is being a distant and depressing fuck, you bundle up in all 11 of his Crimson Riot hoodies (some of them are used as pants) and think about him

His garnet irises, his adorable sharp-toothed smile, his killer upper body, his soft red hair, his voice (thank you Justin Cook), his hands, his dick, his manliness, the tiny scar above his eyebrow, and his sharp jawline

Perfection

Kiri, on the other hand, wonders why you’re spending so much time in your room all alone and why fuck cuddle nights stopped

Right when he needed all of the love and support, it stopped

Were you mad at him?

Did he do something to upset or offend you?

Did he say something rude or insensitive without thinking about it?

Did you get tired of him?

Did you want to break up?

Had Bakugou finally stolen your heart from him?

He couldn’t tell

You looked to upset all the time, giving him distant looks, suddenly running to your room with your eyes full of… shit, were those tears?

No, not eyes full of shit

Eyes full of tears

Come on guys

He ran after you, but by the time he got to your hallway, you were already locked in your room

He knocked on the door

“Who… Who is it?” You whimpered in a choked voice

“Uh, Eiji… your boyfriend…” He said softly, running a hand through his softened locks, “Can I come in?”

“I…” You pause, “I guess. Gimme a minute.”

Shuffling sounds

*nose-blowing*

Then the door opened to reveal a slouching you in one of his hoodies

You had a used tissue scrunched in your fist

“Babe, are you ok? You’ve been acting really weird lately and I’m worried!” Said the pure ginger shark

“E-Ever s-since you s-started that work-study, you’ve been r-really d-distant so I thought you might’ve f-found someone else. Either that or you j-just needed t-time alone.” You whimpered, holding back tears for what seemed like the billionth time that day

“Baby girl, no one could ever replace you!”

Sharky pulls you into a hug

“I’m sorry you thought that Y/n. I’ve just been really zoned out because I’m trying to balance school, work-study, and our relationship all at once. I really need those study nights honey, I’m begging you. You explain stuff so simply and your notes are really descriptive. I love you so much and I don’t like it when you’re sad, because then I’m sad and then everyone is sad.”

“Eiji… I’m sorry, don’t blame all this on your self. I’m just being a whiny bitch.”

“Don’t say that!!”

“But I-”

You were cut off by a kiss

Eijirou cupped your flushed cheek tenderly with one hand, and with the other, he held the small of your back so you were flush up against him

“Eijirou…”

That night, you fall asleep on his chest, but Kiri can’t sleep

His phone on your nightstand flashes and he carefully picks it up, turning down the brightness so as not to disturb you

Apparently, it’s time

Carefully, he slips out of bed to join Midoriya, Ochaco, and Tsuyu downstairs

NSFW

When all of that is over and Kirishima is in your arms safe and sound again, he gets down on you before you even pull out your flashcards

Presses you back into the carpet and starts sucking your face

“Eiji? Wha-”

“Sssh.”

Clothes start flying everywhere except away from you and your horny boyfriend, who has moved onto your neck and jawline, kissing and nipping along your collarbones and mandible

You thread your shaking fingers through his pretty red hair

“So wet for me already?” 

“Mmmh, you smell so good…” Eijirou moaned, sucking your puffy clit, his hands clamped on your hips to prevent you from bucking or squirming

“M-More… please, more! I need more Eiji~”

“Did you miss me, or just my cock?”

“Both- fuuuuck~ Eijirou oh my gOd~”

“You like that sweetie? Huh? Tell me how much you like it~”

…

*coughs*

You can hardly walk the next day

But don’t worry

Kiri will treat you like a queen and carry you around until you fall off or feel better

No studying happened unless you count Eiji learning to make you squirt

Otherwise, no

Neither of you did anything productive

But you did have a fun, sensual evening with the person you loved most

Nighteye Squad hc’s coming soon!

[s-oulpunk]

Bill first meets Stan through Richie.  He creates a group chat to create, in a word, chaos.  The group chat lasts a fairly long time, as long as group chats can, but it isn’t long until it’s forgotten, lost in the depths of Bill’s messages.  What isn’t forgotten, however, is Stan’s number, secure in its own private chat.

Bill likes Stan.  Likes his seemingly endless knowledge of birds.  Likes his witty, dry humor.  Likes the music recommendations he sends at odd hours of the night.

But he doesn’t like him like that.

They’re friends.  Bill likes friends.  He doesn’t have very many, but he likes them.  And they’ve been harder to find, due to his increasing self-isolation.

His baby brother has just died.  Seemingly disappeared into thin air.  And despite how hard Bill tries to stay kind, it makes him see red.  There’s always anger inside him.  It crawls just under his skin, fighting to get out.

Anger makes it hard to make friends.

But he has Stan, and Stan is enough.  He’s sweet.  He listens when Bill needs him to, and doesn’t push when Bill doesn't.

The only problem, Stan likes him like that.

He never says anything, not outright, but Bill knows.

He knows because Stan has told him he had “always wanted to be his friend.”  He knows because Stan’s type is eerily similar to himself.  He knows because Stan never denies an offer to text until 3 in the morning, even when he has places to be the next day.

And it makes Bill feel a little guilty, because Stan’s nice.  Great, in fact.  Anyone would be lucky to have him.  But Bill doesn’t need a boyfriend, he needs a friend.

Stan seems to understand.  He never once complains, never blames Bill.  Because he’s good like that.  It’s ingrained in his bones.  He doesn’t know how to not be good.

Bill and Stan don’t go to the same school.

Stan goes to school with Richie and the rest of his friends, a short wheezy boy named Eddie and a soft hearted boy named Ben.  Bill goes to school with his own friends, a fiery girl named Beverly and a boy with a heart of gold named Mike.

They’re nice, and he loves them.  But Stan is special.

They’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Stan, but, boy oh boy, do they know who he is.  He talks about him nonstop, and when he isn’t talking about him, he’s texting him.  Even if it’s hard to find time to see each other in person, they’re always together.

One time Stan leaves his sweatshirt at Bill’s house.  Bill wears it to school the next day, for safekeeping.  Bev and Mike giggle and share knowing looks, but Bill ignores them.  They don’t understand.

By the time Stan gets around to visiting him at school, he’s practically famous.  Bev and Mike know nearly everything about him, all their friends have heard the stories, and everyone else at least knows his name.

He’s coming to see a play Bill wrote.  A play Bill is really proud of, and he wants Stan to see it.  He wants everyone to see it, but Stan especially.

Despite the dozens of people in the audience, Stan is the only one Bill invited.  He’s the only one whose opinion really matters.

That summer, Bill goes away to camp.

It’s a writing camp, for a whole month, a few states away.  A whole month without seeing Stan.  It sucks, Bill misses him like crazy, but they talk every day.  Bill tells him his ideas for his stories, Stan tells him about the birds he sees back home.  It’s not the same, but it’s enough.

Bill meets Audra there.

She’s nice.  She’s really pretty.  And, best of all, she thinks Bill’s real cute.  And she lets him kiss her after classes, alone in his dorm when the world is asleep and the only one around to see them in the moon.

He tells Stan, of course he does.  Stan says he’s happy for him.  Richie says Stan’s jealous.

Bill tries not to think about that too much.

Next year is senior year.

Bill’s happier now.

Sometimes he still feels that same old anger in his chest.  But anger’s just an emotion.  Everyone feels anger.  What does it matter if Bill feels it stronger?  He feels happiness too.  He feels an overwhelming amount of happiness.

Stan’s happy too.

He has a girlfriend now, her name is Patty.  Bill thinks she’s nice.  He thinks they’re sweet together.  He also thinks his favorite moments are when Stan hugs him.

Bill doesn’t have a girlfriend.  Audra’s nice, and he still talks to her sometimes, but she lives in California and long distance isn’t something Bill wants to commit to.  Besides, while Audra’s wonderful, they don’t click.  He wants a relationship with someone who’s also his best friend.

About halfway through the year, he realizes something important:

Stan’s his best friend.

He’s in love with Stan.

But Stan likes Patty, and what kind of person would Bill be if he broke them up?  So Bill doesn’t say anything at all.  Instead he deals with the longing that lingers in his chest, and tries to ignore the looks Mike and Bev send his way.  They think he should tell Stan.  Bill thinks they’re living in a fantasy.

Then Bill meets Connor.

Connor’s nice.  Connor’s sweet.  Bill likes Connor.

Except he doesn’t.  Because Connor’s not nice, he’s not sweet.  He doesn’t listen to anything Bill says on their first date.  He laughs at all the wrong times on their second date.  He gets too handsy on their third date.

But Bill’s lonely.  And angry.  So they keep dating.

Except they’re not dating-dating.  It’s not like he’s his boyfriend.  Bill doesn’t want a boyfriend.  Bill still lies when Connor asks if there’s anyone else in his life.

A few days later, Connor tells him they should be together.

Bill doesn’t know what to say.  So, apparently, he has a boyfriend now.

That thought makes his stomach squirm and skin grow tight.  But he’s sure it’ll pass.  He likes Connor.  It will work out.  It has to work out.

Stan doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore.  Him and Patty broke up only a few weeks ago.  It’s too soon and too late to confess.  Too soon after Stan’s breakup, too late now that Bill has a new relationship.

A few days later, Connor kisses him.  Bill cries alone in his bedroom afterwards.

He spends nearly a week fretting over the fact that he has to “break up” with Connor.  They’re not even supposed to be together.

Now he has to get out of something he never even agreed to be a part of.

Connor takes it well enough, if Bill ignores the few snarky remarks here and there.

He still doesn’t say anything to Stan.  They don’t talk as often as they used to.  Bill misses him.  But he doesn’t want to ruin the last bit of friendship they have.

It’s been weeks before he realizes it doesn’t matter.  What does he have to lose?

He calls him before he can change his mind, never minding that its nearing 1 in the morning.

“Hey,” Stan says, sounding only a little bit tired.  Bill had missed his voice. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” Bill says breathlessly. “I think I’m in love with you.”

[girls-scenarios]

What We Want

Idol: Minnie ((G)I-DLE)

Prompt: Can I request a scenario with (G)-idle Minnie? In which the reader is a college student, so they can’t see each other really often, because of their schedules? So they drift apart for a while, but realize that they don’t want things to end. Kinda angsty, but with a fluff ending? Thank you

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: So sorry I haven’t been active recently, school just started and I’ve been busy. Anyway, Minnie is such an underrated goddess I swear. I hope you all enjoy!

♡ Tip Jar♡

It’s not like it happened overnight. Had it happened overnight, you probably would have noticed it faster. But no, it happened slowly, gradually sneaking up on you until the damage had been done and you didn’t know what to do. Weekly dates had become monthly dates before disappearing all together. Nightly talks on the phone started to happen less and less, until you realized that you hadn’t talked to Minnie in so long that you could hardly remember what her voice sounded like through the phone. The two of you still sent each other texts, but they were few and far between, hardly anything substantial, and by the time that you realized what was happening, it seemed like it was too late. You’d already grown apart from the one girl you’d never wanted to lose.

The two of you had made a promise not to let your busy schedules get in the way of your relationship. And at first, you’d been able to keep that promise. As a freshman, your classes weren’t that bad, and you had your weekends off, for the most part. Minnie, too, had some extra time on the weekends, since her group was still rookies. However, things didn’t stay that way. Quickly, you realized that your classes were going to take a lot more of your attention than you'd originally thought, and (G)I-DLE had started to blow up. And then, despite both of you denying that anything was happening, you’d grown apart.

Now, laying in your bed after your finals were finally over, you felt a wave of sadness and loneliness wash over you. Your roommate was gone, off partying to celebrate, but you’d told her that you were too tired. It had only been half a lie. You were exhausted, mentally and physically from the nonstop studying and writing you’d done the past few weeks. But you’d also had a dream about Minnie a few nights before, making you remember. And now you couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Rolling over, you checked your phone. Above the photo you’d taken of Minnie sending you a kiss, the time blinked at you, showing that it was already nearing midnight. Had you really been thinking for so long? The photo of your girlfriend made your heart squeeze, and you bit your lip, fighting back tears. Normally, you wouldn’t be so emotional. But you were tired, lonely, and you missed her terribly, so much so that you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep. It had been so long since you talked to her, did she even love you anymore? Did she remember about you? Did she know that you still loved her, even though you hadn’t been showing it?

Wiping at your face, you made your decision and opened up your messages, wincing at the date on the last text. Three weeks ago already. You were losing her, even as much as you had wanted to deny it. And you didn’t want this. With shaking hands, you typed in your message and pressed send, not expecting her to reply. Not this late at night. But you knew you needed to send it before you backed out, so you did, then placed your phone down and buried your face in your pillow, wondering where you’d gone so wrong.

-Hey, it’s been a while. I miss you.

-

You woke up the next day with a headache and a sore throat from crying the night before. Across from you, your roommate was still asleep, apparently having come back in the early hours of the morning, and you blinked at the bright sunlight coming in through the window, annoyed. You were still tired and miserable, and yet it seemed to be so early in the morning. Why had you woken up?

Your phone. It had buzzed. Sleepily, you reached over to check your messages, only to quickly wake up. Minnie had texted you back.

-I miss you too. I’m sorry. I’m free today, actually. Are your finals finished?

For a moment, you wondered if you were dreaming, but the headache and the pounding of your heart told you that you were indeed awake. Swallowing, you typed your reply.

-They are, I’m free too. Want to meet up and talk?

-I’d love to. Let me give my members a heads up. Where do you want to meet? Somewhere with not a lot of people, please lol.

You thought for a moment. Where around here didn’t have a lot of people? This was the city, after all.

-I mean. We could grab one of the study rooms at my library? No one will be around since classes are over.

-That would work. The same library I went to, yeah?

-Yeah. Want me to get you coffee?

-Sounds good. Just send me directions.

Closing your eyes, you put down your phone and took a deep breath. You were going to see her, finally. Relief and happiness mixed with nervousness and dread, and you didn’t know what to think. Would she want to break up? You wouldn’t blame her if she did.

“Let’s not think about that,” you muttered to yourself as you opened your eyes and climbed out of bed. You were going to get ready and walk into that library, no matter what might happen. You owed Minnie that much.

-

The nervousness you’d felt at your dorm only magnified as you waited in the study room, heart pounding and the coffee and bagels sitting on the table in front of you. The librarian had looked at you a little weirdly, probably because a) finals were over so you were one of the only people in the library and b) you were wearing sunglasses inside to hide how puffy your eyes were. That only made the nerves in your stomach worse, and as you looked out one of the large windows that looked over the campus, you felt your stomach twist, all of the worst case scenarios going through your head. Could you really do this? But then again, what other choice did you have?

The door opened, and as you turned around, you saw Minnie walk in, although it was hard to recognize her with her sunglasses, mask, and hat. Carefully, she closed the door behind her before walking up to the table and taking off her glasses and pulling down her mask. For a moment, the air was awkward and quiet. Then, you cleared your throat.

“Um, good morning.”

“Good morning.” Her voice was a little hoarse, and you wondered if it was just from her tough schedule, or if she’d been crying too.

“I got you a coffee and a bagel,” you said, for a lack of anything else to say, gesturing to the carrier in front of you. She gave you a small smile as she sat down across from you. It felt weird to be so awkward around here, and yet the air still felt weird. Had you really grown this far apart from her?

“Thanks. Sorry I’m late.”

“No, it’s okay. I just got here.” That was kind of a lie. You’d gotten there early. But she didn’t need to know, and the coffee was iced and still cold, so there was no way for her to figure it out. She took a sip and you looked down at the bagel on the table. You didn’t really have an appetite, not anymore. “How’s idol life been?”

“Exhausting. Exciting. A little bit overwhelming. Some fans just love us a little too much. It’s weird not being able to walk around without some sort of disguise. And some fans even see through that.” She took off her hat to run her hand through her hair, letting out a sigh, and you noticed the bags under her eyes. She looked just as tired as you felt. “I’m thankful for everything, but I miss being able to get a full night’s sleep, you know?”

“I think I can understand what you’re getting at.”

She gave you a little smile. “You probably don’t get much sleep either.”

“Yeah. Classes get more and more stressful each semester. But my schedule isn’t near as chaotic as yours.”

“True.”

Once again, an awkward silence settled into the room, and you played with your straw, trying to fidget to let out the nerves. “Your promotions for this last comeback have ended, right?”

“Right, we’re getting a small break soon, actually. Our manager wants us to do a little bit of brainstorming and stuff for the next comeback, but thankfully since we’re doing so well, we’re getting a break.”

“That’s awesome for you.”

“You’re on break now too, yeah?”

“Summer break just started, yeah.” This conversation sounded like something that two casual friends would have. Not like a conversation a couple would have. You tried not to think about it too much. “And I don’t have to take summer classes, so I’ll be pretty much free all summer.”

“That’s great.”

Once again, silence returned, and then Minnie let out a little sigh and locked eyes with you. “Hey, (Y/N)?”

“Yes?” You had a feeling that the conversation was about to get serious.

“What are we?”

Your heart dropped and you bit your lip, glancing away in guilt. “We’re a couple, but... I don’t know,” you said, voice soft.

“It’s been months since we last really talked,” she replied, matter-of-fact. “Can you really be a couple like that?”

“No. Not really. We’ve grown apart so much.” You swallowed around the lump in your throat and looked back at her. She looked on the edge of tears, and it was weird to see her like that. The Minnie you’d known was always so positive and happy. But then again, the you she’d known had loved talking to her and would have never let anything get in the way of your relationship or dreams. Both of you had changed. Both of you were tired, slightly stressed and a little bit lost on what to do, new adults with new challenges to face. But was that really enough to justify this separation? “I’m sorry,” you said truthfully. “I’m really, really sorry.”

“I am, too,” she said, voice shaking ever so slightly. “I didn’t realize how busy I was going to be. Every day just passed so quickly, and before I knew it, I looked up and... it had been months.”

“It was the same for me. I promised to keep time for you, and then I forgot all about it because I got too wrapped up in my own problems.” Mentally, you kicked yourself, but Minnie, as if sensing this, shook her head.

“It’s not just your fault. It’s mine too. Both of us. We got so busy and we didn’t know how to juggle that with our relationships.” She swallowed and took a deep breath. “Do you still love me?”

Your heart hurt when you heard the pain in her voice. “I do. Of course I do. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to show it but when I realized how much we’d grown apart, it hurt. It hurt to know that I hurt you. I still love you, despite everything. But if you decide to break up with me because we grew apart and you don’t love me anymore, then I’ll understand.”The words came out a little more jumbled than you’d wanted them too, but there they were. And as much as they hurt to say, they were true. If Minnie wanted to leave you, you wouldn’t blame her.

But her eyes widened, and she shook her head, reaching across the table to grab your hand. “No! No, I don’t want to break up! I still love you too, so, so much. And I’m sorry that I didn’t try to juggle my idol life with my love for you. But I don’t want to lose you. I love you, (Y/N). And I never want to have to spend that much time apart from you.” She squeezed your hand. “I’ll learn to make time for you, I swear.”

You felt like crying in relief as you squeezed her hand back, coffee and bagels long since forgotten. “Oh. I don’t want to lose you either.” Tears welled up in your eyes. “I’m so happy you still love me. I’m relieved you feel the same.”

“Don’t cry or I’ll cry,” she said softly, making you laugh softly.

“Sorry. I’m just so happy and relieved. I felt so terrible about everything, and I really don’t know what I would have done had you decided to leave.”

“Don’t worry about that now.”

“Right. I’m going to make time for you, too. If other college students can have relationships then I can too.” You gave her a smile. “Although usually they aren’t in relationships with world-famous idols.”

“True enough.” She smiled back at you. “I’ve missed you so much. You don’t even know.”

“I’ve missed you too.” You looked down at your hand holding hers. “We’re going to have a lot of catching up to do. But I’m going to make all of that lost time up to you.”

“Same here. I’m not going to let us drift apart again without a fight.”

“Want to spend the day together today? And maybe spend the night at my dorm? Just like old times?” You asked, and her face lit up as she nodded her head and caressed your hand with her thumb, making you so happy you’d asked. It would be fine. Your roommate probably had somewhere to go tonight anyway, right?

“I’d love to.” She looked down at the table before looking back up at you with a soft smile. “Can I kiss you? I haven’t kissed you or held you in so long.” Technically, you were pretty sure that you weren’t supposed to make out in the library with your girlfriend. But nobody else was there, and you doubted the librarians cared too much right now anyway. Smiling, you nodded, and she quickly got up and moved around the table to sit beside you. Your heart jumped, just like it had when the two of you had your first kiss, and as your eyes fluttered closed and her lips captured yours, her hand gentle on your shoulder, you couldn’t help but think you were lucky.

This wasn’t going to be fixed overnight, and it would take work to make sure that this never happened again. But you were willing to put in the work, and you were so lucky that she was willing to try again too. This was what both of you wanted, after all.

“I love you,” she whispered as she pulled away for a brief second, and you had never been so happy to hear those words before as you leaned in and kissed her again, hoping that your actions could tell her that you were being true when you said “I love you too.”

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 1480

today started out with me getting up and out on time, which is rare. but good.

but as i was driving to work i realized how angry at everything i was, with no reason to be. i was angry and sad and a whole conglomeration of unhappy that it kind of hit me that i shouldn't feel like this all the time. which i have been. i've been feeling like this practically nonstop for three weeks. which, coincidentally, is just shy of the same amount of time i've been on this new med from my doctor. so not only do i have to call up my old therapist to get in to see her, i have to call dr hristea to see what she can do with me.

i can't sleep. i'm always angry. i'm lonely and i'm isolating myself intentionally, which only compounds the issue. my entire schedule has been thrown off because of two little things, being my brain's incomprehensible inability to do anything right, and working longer hours. because my brain can't function, i can't sleep, so i'm always exhausted and i always want to take naps, so when i get the chance to sleep during the day, i take it. but despite my constant exhaustion even despite the naps, i'm still so exhausted when it's nighttime that i could absolutely fall asleep, but my shit body won't LET me sleep, so i'm awake until somewhere between 2 and 4 in the freaking morning, at which point i fall asleep and proceed to have an awful night's sleep until i need to wake up four hours later. and the cycle repeats itself until saturday when i have the only day i can sleep in and even hope to get a decent amount of sleep so i miss the bank every day because it closes when i get out of work, so i haven't been depositing my checks and i've been paying for things with my credit card because i can't get to the damn bank, and i can't sleep, and i'm always angry, and i'm sad and i'm lonely and i simultaneously want everyone to leave me alone forever despite the crippling loneliness that plagues my existence, day and night, because for some godforsaken reason people like me just fine but never want to keep me so i wind up used and pushed aside over and over again and i'm never anyone's first choice, nor have i ever been before. you'd expect me to get used to it but it still hurts. every time.

i'm complaining a lot. but you don't need to read this, so at this point it's your choice if you want to continue with the outrageous and overwhelming negativity that creeps into every facet of my miserable existence.

i'm still upset at literally everything, but at least i cleaned up some table space at work today and i bought some books at barnes and noble and got stuff to keep me productive and functioning, even if i'm not in school this semester.

i'm sorry i'm such a mess. i want to stop trying. i want to stop caring. i'm always going to fail and i'm never going to be enough, so i really don't see a point. y'all are better off without me, anyway. doesn't mean i'm gonna stop existing, unfortunately, because i'm a coward, and i've made a habit of complaining to the void of the internet every evening, so that's not gonna stop either.

i hate this. all of it. everything. i'm tired. i'm done.

[angelcatsiel]

need to vent because I just can’t cope

I’m about to cry because I’m in so much pain with my stomach right now, it’s been getting worse. we are only allowed to discuss one single issue at a time with a doctor. the doctors are so busy and overwhelmed that some days when I want to speak to a doctor I can’t get through. If I do get through it generally takes a good 50 attempts or more. last time it took 106 attempts according to my phone log, trying over and over at 8:30 in the morning, and by the time I got through, almost all slots were gone. waking up early is very very hard for me anyway. if I know I need to wake up early in the morning to phone them, I normally have a breakdown the night before. I’m sure I will tonight. I’ve been on and off crying all day anyway.

I’ve been phoning them nonstop the last 6 months or so for my skin. finally, FINALLY, I saw a dermatologist. everything they gave me and everything they did made it worse. I’ve given up now. I’m just so used to my skin being itchy and burning during showers to the point that I break down and cry, it’s no longer a priority. instead I’m now trying to figure out why I overheat so quickly and suddenly. blood test came back entirely normal, so no progress there and I doubt there will be. and if my blood test was normal, that doesn’t really explain why I’m so exhausted all the time, either. it doesn’t explain why I feel faint every time I go for a walk. any time I leave the house alone I am terrified that I’m gonna faint and fall into the road. it’s nearly happened a few times. that or I’ll get hit by a car, because I find it hard enough to focus when I’m out anyway with all the noise and sensory input going on, let alone when I’m feeling faint and sick and exhausted. that also has nearly happened a few times.

I can’t get anything done, laundry and dishes are constantly piling up, my boyfriend is suffering from physical exhaustion to the point of being genuinely unwell and sick and not eating, so he can’t help much. I can’t tidy for 5 minutes without either getting too hot, feeling faint, or experiencing back pain so severe that I have to stop. can’t ring the doctors about the back pain, I’ve gotta get the other stuff sorted first. same with the stomach pain. I never get anywhere, I never have. test results are always normal. there’s never any sign of anything wrong with me. I get told I have anxiety. I get told it’s all stress related which I can’t exactly reduce right now. I get told I need to exercise when I just don’t have the energy. I try to do easy, simple exercises at home, but it hurts. I can’t leave the house to exercise, because it’s freezing and the cold sets off my nerve pain. also the whole getting hot/fainting risk thing. I don’t wanna faint in public.

I can’t live like this. I can’t do it. I feel like no one cares. I feel so lonely and so tired and so scared and I don’t even have anything to look forward to. I haven’t seen my family in 6 months. my fucking cat died and I never even said goodbye. I feel like I’ve lost so much time with my elderly grandparents over the last year. if this shit was going on a few years ago when my mental health was really bad, I would be dead. I know I would.

[miachi-chan]

Hanbin Scenario: Stress Reliever

My entry to the fanfic world! To whoever comes across this and decides to read this, please don’t judge my writing too harshly. I’ve never done a fanfic before. I’ve been in the shadows all this time, and this is me revealing myself.

But anyway let me tell you why I decided to write this briefly. I was feeling inspired! … by all the stress and schoolwork piling up on me. Reading Hanbin scenarios on tumblr has been my stress reliever, but I’ve noticed that not a lot of people have been posting any scenarios lately anymore! So that’s why I said, hey! Let’s put aside all my schoolwork and procrastinate at the last minute because, you know, why not write a Hanbin scenario now?

So here it is! I hope I didn’t make any typos, and I hope it doesn’t suck too badly. :3

Schoolwork was piling up on you, and you were getting more and more stressed out as the clock ticked and tocked.

Tick. Tock.

Tick. Tock.

Suddenly you threw your highlighter on your book and shrieked, messing up your hair in frustration. YOU COULDN’T TAKE ANYMORE!

Nothing was getting done. You’ve been sitting at your desk for 6 hours already on a Saturday afternoon, and you felt like you hadn’t learned anything for your test in 2 days. Not even your other test 2 more days after that. Not to mention you hadn’t even started all your other homework due in the same week!

Tears started welling up in your eyes, but you angrily wiped away at them before they could escape. You exasperatedly sighed out loud into the silence of your apartment.

You thought of your boyfriend, Hanbin, who was probably emersed in his own work at the studio. You took your phone out and pulled out the messenger to text him.

But your hands stopped in its tracks.

You didn’t want to be a bother to him. To his work, since iKON’s comeback was on its way. You didn’t want to seem like a clingy and selfish girlfriend. You didn’t want to get in the way of his dream.

But you hadn’t seen each other in so long, and that was adding to the stress as well. Of missing him. Of longing to be in his embrace and feel his warmth engulf you.

Your chest tightened.

But Hanbin was working hard, and actually making his dreams come true! And you on the other hand were procrastinating and getting yourself stressed out on your own.

You hated yourself for being this way.

Slowly, your grip on your phone loosened as the screen dimmed and faded.

You thought that if he could do it, then you could too. But you were almost at the brink of insanity from all the studying and loneliness.

Gradually you were drowning and drowning in your own self-hatred and misery. You started to feel like you didn’t deserve your ever hardworking boyfriend who never gave up. Who trudged on and on, no matter how difficult it was. Not even taking a break. Sacrificing sleep even.

You were drowning even deeper into all the negativity. Hate for yourself and school. And anxiety and isolation and you could go on and on. You curled up in your seat and buried your head into your crossed arms.

But then suddenly, as if Hanbin had sensed you falling into the abyss, a text suddenly popped up on your phone’s screen.

“How are you doing, jagi?”

And then you felt a surge of emotion run through you. Tears came back to your tired eyes, blurring your vision.

Your hands swiftly moved to reply to him. To tell him that you weren’t fine. That studying wasn’t going well. That you couldn’t take it anymore. That you wanted to see him so badly right now and tell him that you wanted him to drop everything and come running to you immediately.

But you couldn’t. You couldn’t be selfish. These text conversations that he sent you during work time were sacrifices. You knew that he already had so many things on his plate. Like composing music, recording, teaching his team choreography, and making sure that everything was perfect because that’s what was expected of him by their CEO.

These texts were something you were thankful for already, because that meant that he particularly set aside time to talk to you despite all the work that needed to be done.

The only thing that you could say was:

“I’m fine.”

You added a smiley face to be convincing, and then you set your phone aside.

He didn’t reply after that, and you assumed that he got caught up in his work. With a heavy heart and with great reluctance, you went back to studying.

What felt like days passed, but in reality only 3 hours went by. You checked the clock and it was already 9:30 in the evening. You realized you hadn’t eaten dinner yet but honestly you weren’t too hungry.

You checked your phone for any messages. None. So you melted into your desk and sighed heavily. You thought of Hanbin. Of what he was doing right now. If he was even thinking of you.

Ding dong,

Your doorbell suddenly rang, and you wondered who it could be at this time. You grudgingly walked to the front door and opened it. Once your eyes landed on the person in front of you, you froze in place, and your breathing stopped for a few seconds.

Hanbin was standing there with his beloved child-like smile plastered on his perfect handsome face, happiness to see you so evident on his face.

Your heart squeezed when you saw him, and you didn’t even realize that tears were falling from your eyes.

Hanbin’s smile fell and was replaced with concern written all over his face. He stepped closer to you and cupped both of your cheeks in his hands. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He wiped away your tears with his thumbs. “Why are you crying?” He stroked your cheek, your head, your hair. Rubbed your arms. And pulled you against him. Doing everything to comfort you.

You cried even more when you smelled his familiar scent that was tinged with sweat, and felt his warmth wrap around you like a safe blanket.

You shook your head in response, unable to say anything. Your throat was too tight to be able to tell him all the things you wanted to say. Of being lonely without of him. Of wanting to see him all this time.

You missed him so badly. 

He pulled back to look at you worriedly, his hands never leaving you. Then he sighed. “As I thought,” He began quietly. “I knew you weren’t fine,” He muttered knowingly, his eyes telling you that he saw through you. Through everything.

You looked up at him in confusion, wanting to ask him how he knew but not being able to.

He lead you back into your apartment,reaching behind him to close the front door, one hand still resting on your shoulder.

“Your text.” He told you as he faced you. “You’re not fine at all.” He said with eyes revealing pain and sadness. More urgently, he continued, “What happened? Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

You shook your head firmly this time. “It’s nothing.” Then you leaned your head on his chest. “I just missed you so much, and I just wanted to see you so badly.”

He put you at arms length again and searched your face, searching for something else that you were hiding. When he couldn’t find anything, his face softened then suddenly became grim. “I’m sorry.” He paused. “I’m sorry we haven’t been able to see each other lately. That I haven’t come to see you often. I’ve just been so—”

“You were busy,” you cut him off and he stared at you questioningly. Worriedly. Then you mustered a smile. “I know that you’re busy with a lot of things. And I understand. It’s okay.” You cupped his cheek. “I’m okay. You don’t have to be sorry.” You looked deep into his eyes to convince him, and once again you gave him a smile. Your tears stopped, and he wiped the remaining drops away with his beloved fingertips.

He paused and just stared at you for a moment, wondering if you were really okay. Then his eyes dropped. “If you were really okay, you wouldn’t be crying like this.”

Your heart sank in its cage. You didn’t want him to know that you crying over procrastination and merely not wanting to study anymore, yet you ended up making him think that he was a horrible boyfriend for putting his work over you. Hurriedly you replied, “No, it’s not your fault that I’m crying.” You lifted up his face to meet his eyes. “It’s just…" A pause then a sigh. “It’s because of school that I’m like this. I’ve just been so overwhelmed with schoolwork lately, and I feel like I’ve been studying nonstop.”

You were ashamed. Ashamed of fussing over simple things when there was so many bigger things to worry about in this world. More significant things. Like making a mark in the music industry as Hanbin was trying to do.

“I was just so happy and relieved to see you, after not being able to in so long that I couldn’t help myself…” You trailed off.

Hanbin suddenly pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you. Giving you a squeeze that made you feel so safe. So secure.

Your arms wrapped around his waist, and you nuzzled into his firm chest.

“Okay. I get it. It’s okay.” He murmured softly into your hair, and took a deep breath in. He started stroking your hair. Gently. Tenderly. Soothing all your worries and unwinding all your nerves. “You must have been going through a lot. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to comfort you sooner.”

You shook your head. “You’re the one who’s been going through a lot. What I’m going through is nothing compared to yours.”

He pulled away slightly to look you in the eyes, his forehead creasing. “Stop. Don’t be too hard on yourself and compare your worries with mine.” 

“But— ”

He hushed you. “You may think that I’m going through more rough times than you are, but this isn’t about me. It’s about you. It’s about how you feel. Okay?” He waited for you to answer him, and you hesitantly responded with a nod.

He continued, “It’s nice of you to consider my feelings, but I want you to put yours before mine right now. You’ve been going through a hard time with studying. It’s okay for you to tell me about it.” He smiled at you lovingly, and you naturally smiled back.

“I’m your boyfriend.” He declared firmly. “Lean on me. Complain and whine at me about all your troubles.” He chuckled, and you giggled. “And I’ll accept them all,” He said softly with so much sincerity in his voice. In his eyes. Your cheeks warmed. And so did your chest.

He pulled you back into him again, and you buried you face into his chest and inhaled deeply, breathing him all in to savor this moment. His sincerity. His presence. His love.

A warm hand ran down your back, down to your waist, and pulled you even closer to him. Enveloping your entire being. You wished this moment would never end. And that time would stop.

You clung onto him and hugged him tighter, hungry for his love and warmness. You didn’t know how long you two stood there in each other’s embrace, basking in each other’s comfort. But it didn’t matter. You didn’t care. You didn’t care that time that could have been spent studying was slipping away at this moment. All you cared about was him being here. Right now. Being in his arms. You felt that everything was going to be okay now. You worries were all washed away in just one moment. 

But then he pulled away. Too soon. You internally complained that it wasn’t enough. But then he asked, “Have you eaten?”

And you shook your head in response.

He held up a black plastic bag that you didn’t noticed that he was holding this whole time until now. “I bought ramen for four.” He wiggled his eyebrows and smiled innocently which never failed to melt you inside and cause you to smile back.

“Wait, four?”

He giggled in a weird manner then said, “Two for you, two for me! Why?Because it’s ramen!” 

You laughed out loud and he laughed along with you, as he pulled your hand and led you towards the kitchen. He helped you onto the stool, then gleefully prepared ramen for four. For the two of you.