#it’s just an ongoing joke my brother and i use because my mother’s birthday is on june 1st

[kevinsdsy]

bonus:

twitter goes crazy about nicky’s tweet after jeremy decides to retweet it.

people start speculating a secret (past) relationship because once upon a time kevin retweeted the following tweet from jeremy

(this tweet comes out of my trojans social media au hehe)

foxes social media au (pt. 2): i’m actually surprised i finished this before i went the bed omg but anyways good night enjoy this <333

[lyrakanefanatic]

tig couple hcs part 2: avery and jameson

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• they don’t have that similar music tastes, (as avery just kind of listens to the same 3 songs on repeat until she gets sick of them and looks for another 3 songs to listen to 😭☠️) but when they started dating, they started liking each others music. now when she’s in the car, avery tends to play jamesons playlists

• avery very much does not enjoy those events that alisa forces her to go to when her and jamie get in trouble, so jameson ends up being her hype man. he whispers chants in her ear, like “go avery! go avery! you can do this! go heiress!” so that she feels a bit better going (and so that she laughs bc jameson loves her laugh)

• her and jameson definitely did that “you better lock your phone” trend (the one where you scoop your partner up while running)

• they try the weirdest food combos when they get bored with max and xander, bc those two are weird food combo PROS.

• when they first started dating, avery tried to avoid pda. she would kind of avoid kissing him in front of his family ESPECIALLY his brothers because she felt awkward doing it at first. that was until she learned that they really didn’t care and now she’s fine with it

• i already said something like this in one of my other posts a while ago, but when jameson leaves his clothes in averys room and avery tells him, he always says “must be one of your other guys 😪😓😢”.

• because of this ⬆️, another awkward situation emerged at dinner:

• nan: “hey boy, what happened to that nice suit jacket i gave you for your birthday?”

• jameson: “oh, im not sure. maybe i left it in averys room?”

• avery: “oh yeah, you did. there are two on my dresser, so one should be it.”

• jameson, while smirking: “oh, i actually don’t think those are mine. must be one of your other guys that came over.” the table immediately goes quiet as the older residents of the hawthorne house shoot shocked and disgusted looks at avery. avery looks at him with a “really?” expression, and nash and xander, who knew what was going on, were dying laughing. even GRAYSON was smiling.

• jameson then goes into a deep explanation of the joke, and nan yells at him for putting that “poor girl” (avery) through that. he’s now banned from making jokes at the dinner table. 😪

• sometimes jameson sleep talks, and has like, ongoing convos with avery in his sleep. sometimes avery will lead it on bc she finds it funny, (he always asks her random stuff) but most times she just says “go to sleep, jamie” and he goes to sleep right away. (while making this i heard my dad snoring two rooms away 😔 HE IS SO LOUD!!)

• after nash proposed to libby, jameson made a joke before they went to sleep about proposing to avery, and she just laughed it off. but the next morning when she woke up and saw that he was still asleep, she whispered “i would love to get married to you someday” almost to herself, before kissing him on the forehead and snuggling into him. jameson never mentioned afterwards, but he heard what she said.

• avery actually loves the entire toy story saga and watched all the movies with jameson. they get some of libbys baked goods, tons of candy, and watch it. it used to be their alone time where they could snuggle up against each other and share kisses, but then by the time they were rewatching the second movie, xander found out that they watched those movies and busted in. now all the movie nights are jameson, avery….. and xander. ☠️

• avery wears his sweaters and jameson wears her necklaces

• on nights like mothers day, hannahs death date, or even fathers day they usually end the day with a movie while jameson distracts her by whispering sweet nothings in her ear and covering her with kisses 💗💗

• whenever they go to those fancy galas, they pass the time by looking at guests and creating “characters” for them. for example, jameson will look at a balding guy and say “he has bald spots because he was a lab rat for a mad scientist years ago, who used to zap his head with acids”. avery pretends to not like it but she actually does and laughs whenever he makes far fetched assumptions of the guests’ backstories.

• through out the grandest game, when they can’t sleep at night, they gossip about the contestants. yes, even AVERY does. they don’t ever say bad things about them and automatically assume the best, but they talk about tension/fueds between some. they talk about how it might play out, and sometimes jameson makes jokes about two of the contestants dating. yes, he would endlessly gossip about lyra and grayson. ☠️

——————————————————————————

[darkopsiian]

Do you like warhammer 40k?

yes. look at my OC's. tw // mentions of body horror and abuse //

i should probably mention as well; i've roleplayed all these characters lol.

This is Nockzius she's my tech priest oc who's a 20 year old biologis prodigy who has worked on Astartes, Xenos, and reversed dissected several daemons. She's a diagnosed psychopath but currently in an emotional down-spiral, because she found out that since she's a blank the Omnissiah cannot hear her. She's been beaten, betrayed, backstabbed and manipulated so many times. So because of this and several other instances of parental neglect from her father, she's completely engulfed in her own hatred and ravenous anger. Nockzius has gotten so close to insanity many times and I'm not surprised she hasn't completely lost it yet due to all the stress that she has to put up with.

This is Heilgard, she is my sister of silence. She was a training SoS during the Remembrancer program back in the 29th Millennium. During the program they had been attacked by a creature later discovered to be a slaugth, towards the very end of the campaign she had sacrificed her own life to fight and later spiritually consume the minor deity. Later on rejected taking the oath of silence as upon discovering the origins of the Slaugth she had assisted in forming a group of members who's sole purpose was to study the Warp. They are an outcasted group and would be considered heretics by law. Her blank radius is so powerful that she purposefully isolates herself in attempts to protect others from getting their soul annihilated just by being around her. Cats however are safe, and thus she surrounds herself with many of them. She is also my only character who canonically has autism.

This is the P.A., or the Pantheon as it calls itself. The Pantheon was a Super AI that used to operate an entire forge of a planet that made and sold thermo-weapons to nearby Noble Houses. But the planet later collapsed and became swarmed with techno barbarians, xenos, and rabid AI drones. The P.A. became dislodged from it's mainframe and had integrated itself into one of its many worker drones. This worker drone, carrying the consciousness of the Pantheon, had found and integrated itself into the body of a traveling noble named Alicia. The P.A. now wearing the flesh body of Alicia travels with a band of techno barbarians and attempting to sway them into getting her old body back. Alicia's body has long expired but her soul hasn't departed, so it's not uncommon for the voice box to occasionally malfunction and start talking like a human.

This is Oylmortiz my Mephirit Deathmark. Oyl had a severe irreversible malfunction during her transfusion, so regardless of how many times she dies and comes back, she can never speak. Her voice is permanently broken and she communicates primary through static chatter or beeping. Thankfully due to her job exclusively being a hitman, talking isn't that important. Her personal deathmark brothers have gotten very used to this and are able to understand her just fine. She is very loyal to her house and just wants to do her job. Despite all this she has the highest charisma stat out of all of my characters, I don't know how this happened. But the mute necron deathmark has the highest fellowship and it's the best ongoing joke I've had.

This is Hollowtye he's a BITCH. This mother fucking lord of CRINGE has decided halloween is his birthday and now it just IS. He's a greater daemon of hysteria and feeds off wide-spread chaos, which is why he enjoys halloween so much. But he's a fucking IDIOT. He has the highest intelligence score sure but that doesn't mean ANYTHING, HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT LMAO. He is NEVER invited to any Tzeentchian parties because they all despise him. He's a clown who fucks up the smallest plan yet somehow still comes out the winner, which is why tzeentch loves him so much but why everyone else hates him.

T̷͙̳͛͜h̷̠͂̊̚͜ǐ̸̥̬̼̫̿̓s̷͉̙̱̓̌̎�� ̷̢͔͙̘͔̅̔͑̐ǐ̶͍͎̓s̷̗̐ ̶̺̥̊R̸̲̀̄̂͗̆͜ĕ̴͚́h̷̦̺̼̙̜́v̸̖̠͙̇͊̊̚ë̸̢̞̱̟̠́̅̒͐̅n̶͕͔̗͚͋͂̽i̸̝̰̝̇̓̓̈͜r̶̘̽̊̾̓́ ̸̳̹̪̽͘T̵͕̻̘͇̦́͂̑͝͝ȟ̴̝͍̙̬̭͘i̸̥͎̫̖͗̅͘s̸͍̻̙̯̺̃̐̇̀̾ ̶̮̺̤̻̖͛͌i̸̩͝s̵̺̀̉͜ ̷̨̹͇͆̃́͘̕W̸͚͉̬̱͋̅͊̍̂h̷͕̓̀i̵̬̩͍͛̔̚t̶̻̂̅͛̊e̴͈̳̿̕̕͠b̷͕͛̅a̴̦̜͐͒͋͘͘ȑ̸̰̱̜̜̪͒͋̑k̴̛̟̓̃͒͝ ̵̧̙̪̲̣̐͛͋͘T̶̪̳̟̎͐͜h̸̡̝̺̰̖͗̈́̑́i̷̠̯̱͓͊̋́̓̒s̵̰͈̃͌ ̵̧̈́͊͆͝į̷̟̺͇̘̀̿̆̈́͛s̵̻͛͒͛̆ ̴̧͍̰̃̆̍͘ͅT̸̞͈̪͇̓͜͝h̸̩͔̗̖͕͐̓͑͊ė̵̞̗͙͊́͝ ̷͖̤̎͜Ŗ̸̹͔̝̘̓ì̸̜͍̿ͅv̵̧̞͚̉͌e̶̝͆̐͂̑r̴̘͇̬̭͐̐̋m̴͈̜̮̅ā̷̩̖̺͝n̴͙͓̈́͂ ̵̪̍͜T̸̛̜̹̲̬̋͆̓̅h̷̹̔͌̕͜i̸̹̚s̴̺̼̰͠ ̵̢̥̠͉̖̏̾̓i̵̛̬̱̱͉̘̋s̷̯̟̙̋̈́͜ ̴̛͎͙̈̆T̶̘̮̹̦̹̓̈́h̸̩̭͇͚̑̂e̸̝͉̠̝̓ ̴̝̅͒̔̆B̵̮̼͚̉̐̄́é̷̡̨̤̩̃͗͆ã̶͇͍̈͘s̸̘͗̿ͅt̸̙̺͌͐̐̂̌ ̷̫̺͆͆̈͐́o̵̜̝̠̅f̵̢̧̠̲͉̀̇̈́̈̋ ̶̯̒́̏̈́͝ͅM̸͈̘͔̖̗̆̀̕ḛ̶͔͓̩͑̀r̸͚̈́̂̈́̄͜ć̶̠͙̜̿́͆̇ũ̴̜͇̌r̶̡̖̹̓̍̌̊y̶̼̖͝͝ ̸̡͍̤̐̚͘ṫ̷̛̟̭̘̄̽̈h̵͕͔͛̎e̵̗̤̗̍ͅ ̴̬̳̗̫͍̑v̴̡̯̘̝̫͊͋̾o̷͔͍̩͓͋̐͠i̶̪̤̕c̶͎̹͔̯̚e̶̠͖̅̄̕ş̷̔ ̷̫͑́̅̐͘t̴͚̯̍̋͗̍̉h̵̗̗̗͉̍͜e̶̛͕̩̱̎̈́̒̚y̸̥̹̳͆ ̶͚͂̀̈̒ẅ̵̪̗́̀̓̔̈́o̵̳͈̫͊́̓̄̚n̴̝̻͇̑̄͂͝͠'̸̧̾͋̆ț̸̈̓̓͘̕ ̷̛̫̬̃͘š̵̭̽̑t̵͎̻͙͙͉̅́̈́͐͝ŏ̷̜̎̚p̸̝̰̿̃̆͐̀

[bellemorte180]

Just Good Business: Chapter Two

Caroline Salvatore, married into one of New York's most brutal crime families.

Niklaus Mikaelson, a notorious mob boss who is hell bent on taking down the Slavatores.

It's an affair for the ages.

WARNING: Incidents of domestic abuse are shown in this chapter.

Chapter Two: 

Six Months Later

At first, Caroline intended her tryst with Klaus to be a one off. It wasn’t. Within the months that followed, it became a habit. It started slow. It was over two weeks before Caroline learned anything of use for Klaus. She overheard a conversation between Damon and Stefan. They would be receiving a shipment of drugs coming down at the docks. Logan Fell, one of Damon’s henchmen was to receive them. Caroline told Enzo to set a meet. He drove an expensive French boutique that she often frequented, dropped her off and a few minutes later, she walked back out, getting into a different car.

Logan Fell’s throat was slit and the drugs stolen; causing a massive financial loss for both Damon and Stefan.

Damon and Stefan would, in return, strike back but Klaus was harder to reach. There were a few petty things here and there that Klaus would allow to happen, giving Stefan and Damon the feeling of power, but nothing major. Klaus had an iron wall built around him mixed with layers of corruption that it was difficult or anyone to get past. It had taken the brothers nearly a year to plan Kol’s death; then it had taken Jeremy close to another year to scope out Kol’s patterns and movements in order to take him down. Klaus was far more careful than his reckless younger brother was. Now, he had Caroline who was able to tell Klaus everything she knew. What surprised Caroline was how much she actually did know. She saw everything and because both Stefan and Damon wrote her off as useless, they said far too much in her presence.

And thus, began their pattern. They would meet whenever Caroline had something to report. Not always, but most times their meetings would end up in sex. Eventually, their relationship developed into a full-blown affair. There where time that Caroline went to him, without anything to report but for the sole purpose of feeling him between her legs. She would leave right after. Until she didn’t. Slowly, she started lingering behind or Klaus asked her to stay longer. They started talking as her head rested on his chest and he played with her hair.

He spoke of his childhood and how he got to this point in his life. He spoke of his father and how he learned he was the product of his mother’s affair; something that still ate at him to this day. He described how he took his own father’s life and how that was his first kill. He told her about Kol’s death, sending Rebekah out of state, leaving only Elijah and Klaus behind.

She told him about how happy she was before her marriage. She told him how her father left them when she was young and died when she was a teenager. She spoke of her teenage rebellion, college and the devastation she felt when her own mother sold her to Stefan.

Soon, it wasn’t just about the sex or information. It became more.

The difficult part was hiding her secret. Sometimes, Stefan was a bit too curious at his wife’s activities while other times, he all but sent her away. Enzo always arranged the meetings. They never took the same car, met at the same place and Klaus bought her a secondary phone-that all her calls from her Stefan approved phone would be forwarded to. If either Stefan or Damon felt the need to ever track her, her phone would always ping at the location she claimed to be at.

They took stalk pictures; just in case Stefan would request proof of Caroline’s whereabouts. Enzo and Klaus thought of everything. Caroline knew that neither Stefan nor Damon suspected that it was Caroline feeding information to Klaus; because they did not think she was capable of much at all. However, they knew that Klaus always seemed to be one step ahead of them at every turn. Neither suspected that there was a mole in their organization, let alone their homes but then again Damon did not suspect what was happening under his very nose.

“They are sleeping together; they have to be.” Caroline replied, leaning against Klaus’s chest. They were lounging in the massive bathtub in his penthouse; bubbles floating around them. Tonight, was one of her friend’s birthday and Caroline was supposedly out at the clubs, having a good time. She went, took photos and left before the third shot of tequila. “I just can’t prove it.”

“That is a problem.” Klaus replied, teeth nipping at her ear; causing her to whimper. His fingers drew circles on her skin under the water. He was stated and relaxed; holding her close. Caroline learned that Klaus, despite the fact that he was possibly the cruelest man she had ever met, liked to cuddle. He enjoyed those moments after sex that were calm and peaceful. Caroline wondered if he had been like that with his other lovers, or if it was just her. She was not sure if she wanted the answer. “I could have Enzo plant something. Camera perhaps?”

“To risky. If he starts snooping around, Stefan and Damon may the wrong idea and think I’m having an affair with him.” Klaus’s chest rumbled from behind her, he reached over the tub to the small stand that was holding their glasses of wine. The friendship that blossomed between Caroline and Enzo was an odd one. Klaus often joked that the man’s loyalty shifted from Klaus to her; but that as long as she stayed safe, it did not bother him. Not only that, but Enzo was fiercely loyal to his girlfriend Bonnie and Klaus knew that. He wouldn’t being doing this job if that was not the case.

“Why are you so certain that Stefan and Elena are fucking, love?” Klaus asked, bringing the glass of red wine to his lips. “You know Stefan is in love with her. It could be one sided. Perhaps Elena is the perfect little faithful wife to Damon.”

“They just are. I can tell.” Her tone held a hint of relief to it that Klaus could not pin point. It wasn’t sadness or fear but something else. She noticed something, a shift in her home and it concerned Klaus. Anything that could possibly endanger Caroline concerned him.

“Caroline? What is it?” She turned in the tub to face him. He narrowed his eyes at her. Caroline did not keep much from Klaus but when she did, it typically had to do with her marriage with Stefan. Klaus did not take kindly to the fact that she still had to play the pretty little wife for the man; especially when it came to their sex life.

“Stefan has been less demanding…...in his visits with me.” Caroline looked at him, his face unreadable. His body stilled but the grip on her hips tightened. She leaned in and kissed him gently, hoping to ease the anger that was radiating off of him. “It has been over two weeks since he wanted anything from me.”

“I don’t like it that he fucks you at all.” The words came out as a hiss. His teeth her clenched together and his jaw locked. His eyes were ablaze with fury. He sat up straighter, bringing Caroline’s lips to his for a possessive kiss. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. The kissed for a few moments before he broke away from her. “You’re mine.”

“I’m yours. You know that.” Caroline whispered. “But he is my husband and he will be until all this is over. If I try and refuse him. It would be far worse for me in the end.” They knew it was true. In the early days of her marriage, Caroline learned that lesson the hard way. Klaus knew the stories and it was enough to send him into a frenzy; but he refrained from doing anything rash. They worked too hard to get this far just to throw in the towel now. Killing Stefan would only create more problems. The needed Damon to turn on Stefan.

If only they could find proof of Elena and Stefan’s infidelity…

“I’ll arrange something. A way for me to have eyes and ears in the house.”

“Are Enzo and I not enough for you?”

“You are more than enough. Enzo is disposable.” Klaus joked but it was half-hearted; his mood still black from Caroline’s reminder that she still had to on occasion sleep with her husband. Caroline threw him a small glare at the mention of Enzo. She knew he didn’t mean it, especially since he was still ensuring that Enzo’s girlfriend got the care she needed. “I need something tangible. Recordable. I’ll have to figure something out.”

“Niklaus.” There was a knock at the door. Klaus cursed while Caroline reached for her glass of wine. Caroline climbed off of him and leaned back down into the water; resting against the side of the bathtub. She covered herself with bubbles.

“Come in Elijah.”

Caroline had met Elijah on multiple occasions. At first, the older brother was skeptical of Klaus’s ongoing affair with the young woman. However, Caroline proved herself useful and when he realized that once Klaus was able to dispose of the Salvatore brothers, Caroline would not be going anywhere, he changed his tune and welcomed her with open arms; or at least, as open Elijah knew how to be.

Elijah Mikaelson was scary, intimidating and powerful. He had a high-ranking position in the FBI and had one to many friends in high places. More than once, Elijah came in the cover up some of Klaus’s more impulsive schemes. He was constantly picking up after Kol, when he was alive, who would start a turf war over the smallest of things. If it was not for the lawyers Damon and Stefan employed, she was sure that Elijah would have had them thrown in some federal prison by now on some trumped-up charge.

“Mrs. Salvatore, I did not realize you were joining my brother this evening.” Elijah replied, completely undisturbed that he interrupted what most would consider an embarrassing moment. Instead of turning away, he just leaned against the sink on the other side of the bathroom.

“Elijah, always a pleasure.”

“What do you want Elijah?” Klaus bit out. His mood had soured completely from his happiness earlier. He always enjoyed his moments with Caroline and the fact that they had too sneak around was getting to him. More than once, he thought about having Caroline brought to him, protecting her and hiring her the best divorce lawyer; but that would not solve his need for see the Salvatore brother’s dead. It would only provoke them. Children did not take kind to others stealing their toys.

“I had the most interesting case come across my desk today.” Elijah pulled out his phone from his suit pocket. He showed Klaus a picture of a young woman covered in blood and her head separated completely from her body. “Her name is Meredith Fell. Cousin to Logan Fell, that fellow whose throat you had slit a few months back. She did some interesting work for Stefan and Damon at one time.”

“What about her?” Klaus asked but Caroline grabbed the phone at the mention of the name Fell. She knew that name and knew the connection they had to her husband. The photo was gruesome and reminded her of the photos Klaus had shown her of her mother. “Caroline?”

“This is Stefan. This is his work.” The murder was identical to her mothers. She knew his signature anywhere. It wasn’t that he decapitated his victims but more or less that he enjoyed putting them back together. “Why is it on your desk?”

“Valid question. Why are you looking into this Elijah? A single murder is a bit below your paygrade.” Klaus narrowed his eyes in confusion. The murders that Stefan committed were typically handled by the NYPD and since they bought a new commissioner, it was swept under the rug.

“Because this murder did not occur in New York, but in New Jersey. It crossed state lines and the fact that it bore similar markings to a cold case from six months ago in New York, it became federal jurisdiction. Your mother’s murder.” Elijah linked eyes with Caroline and she felt the emotion well up in her throat. She had accepted that Stefan would not go down for her mother’s death but hearing that there was a small chance almost made her want to cry.

Klaus stood from the bathtub, not caring that he was naked in front of his brother or the fact that water was dripping all over the tile flooring. Elijah scolded his brother and handed him a towel, which Klaus quickly wrapped around his waist. The look on Klaus’s face could only be described as manic glee. This was unexpected but a happy turn.

“Elijah I could kiss you.”

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Elijah replied. “I subpoenaed all the documents from the Elizabeth Forbes murder as well as a few others. I picked up the documents this evening before coming here. It may be a few days but I should have enough evidence to open a formal investigation against him.”

“And if you don’t?” Caroline asked.

“I’ll make enough evidence.” Elijah replied in a tone that was hard. Caroline forgot for a second that this was personal for him as it was for her. Kol was Elijah’s brother too. Klaus could strike, often, hard and fast. Elijah, while not above planting evidence, lying under oath and arranging the occasional accidental death, still had some boundaries that he was forced to operate under. “One way or another, he’ll go down for this.”

“One way or another?”

“Either through the courts or publicly. What I have in store for Stefan and Damon Salvatore is something they will never recover from.”

“Well, this night keeps getting better and better.” Klaus replied. He took another sip of his wine, this time wearing a very pleased smirk. He leaned down and kissed Caroline on the lips. She did not care that she was naked nor that Elijah was standing right there. The idea of Stefan being thrown in a jail cell, even if it would be temporary made her very happy. “Although, I do think we shouldn’t put all our eggs in that basket. Caroline, tell my brother where dear Damon is tonight.”

“He is meeting with Mayor Lockwood later on.” Elijah cocked his head at her and waited for her to continue. “At her house, late on a Friday night.” She could see Elijah’s wheels turning in his head. Carol Lockwood was old enough to be Damon’s mother and while it would not be unheard up, Damon was not one to bed a woman that much older than himself. He was also very faithful to Elena. Probably the only redeeming quality about him. “Now Elijah, get your mind out of the gutter. Damon is expecting a shipment next month. Twelve men are coming in, by ship, from Italy. I don’t know what cargo they are bringing but it’s very important that Mayor Lockwood…looks the other way.”

“Interesting. Very interesting.” Elijah shot a look to Klaus, who had picked up Caroline’s phone and scrolling through it. “I thought you had an understanding with the Mayor?”

“I do.” Klaus replied in an almost bored tone. “It appears her and I will have to have a conversation, and soon.” He turned to Caroline. “Your husband is asking when you plan on being home. I told him that you and that red headed friend of yours were enjoying a pitcher of margaritas. I sent him this picture.” Klaus strolled over to her and showed her a photo that was taken earlier in the night. It was her and Aurora having drinks at the club they had been at earlier; and one she was certain Aurora was still at. “He says not to drink to much and to take your time. Seems like someone is up to something.”

“Well, it looks like you just bought me a few more hours.” Caroline smiled. She reached for his hand and kissed it. Klaus turned to his brother and made a motion that told Elijah he needed to bugger off. Caroline giggled. “I think Klaus is trying to say that you’ve over stayed your welcome. Thank you for the update. We’ll be in touch.”

“Yes, brother. What she said.”

“Very well. Have a pleasant evening. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Elijah shut the bathroom door behind in time to hear the splashing of water and Caroline’s high-pitched laughter. Despite the method of his brother’s relationship with the married woman, Elijah couldn’t help but have a budding respect for Caroline.

It wasn’t until wee hours of the morning that Caroline walked through the front door of the mansion. She had always found it strange that Stefan wanted a home in the middle of upper-class suburbia. It was in a gated community and Caroline hated everything about it. It felt suffocating and fake. The lights were all off, not that she was expecting anything else. Stefan wasn’t expecting her home, believing that she was out with the so-called best friend and as long as she had Enzo and wasn’t making a scene, he allowed for such diversions from time to time. It was to show the world that he was not a controlling husband but one who allowed his wife the social life she had before marriage.

Caroline made her way up the stairs to the master suite quietly, hoping not to wake Stefan, but as she got closer, she could see the light under the door was on. There was a sound coming from inside and it was a woman’s voice. She was moaning and whimpering. There was the slight sound of the bed creaking and hitting the wall. Once she reached the door, she grabbed the handle and turned, pushing the door open.

Inside was the scene she expected the moment she heard those noises. Stefan’s back was to her, his hips thrusting forward. Elena was on her back, legs spread and her body arching into Stefan’s. Her eyes were closed and head tilted in a way that gave Stefan access to her neck. Elena cried out a just as she did, her eyes opened.

“Caroline!?” Caroline jumped back the moment Stefan flew from the bed. On instinct, Caroline did the one thing that her gut was telling her to do.

Fucking Run.

She dropped her silver heels, her purse and bolted down the hallway. However, in her bare feet and tight shiny dress, she just wasn’t fast enough. By the time she reached the stair way, Stefan had caught up with her and grabbed her by the hair; pulling her backwards. Caroline latched onto his hand, digging her nails into his skin; but the slight pain seemed not to faze Stefan. He dragged her down the hallway, Caroline kicking and yelling for him to let her go.

Stefan tossed her into the bedroom, throwing her into the dresser. Her body smashed into it, the side of her face hitting the drawer, before landing on the wood flooring. He reached down and picked Caroline up by her throat and slammed her into the wall. Elena was rushing around the room, frantically gathering her clothes and dressing. Stefan pressed his still naked body against hers and tightened his hand on her throat.

“You say nothing.” Stefan’s voice was the most dangerous she had ever heard it. It was low and menacing. “Do you understand me? You saw nothing. You know nothing. You keep your mouth shut and I’ll let you pretty little head stay on its shoulders. Understand?” Caroline nodded the best she good and Stefan gave her a charming smile. “Good.”

For good measure, he slammed her head against the wall one last time before dropping her to the ground. He kicked her twice in the stomach, causing her to go into the fetal position. Her entire body ached from his assault. Dazzlingly, she could hear Stefan dressing while exchanging words with Elena. She opened her eyes to see a blurry vision of Elena walking past her following Stefan, not even sparing her a glance.

She closed her eyes again, drifting off.

It wasn’t until late morning that Caroline came to. She was in her bed, the same bed Stefan fucked Elena in, and her clothes had been changed. She sat up and nearly cried. She looked down and noticed that her waist was bandaged; and was the part of her body that hurt the worst. She pulled herself from the bed and walked to her now broken dresser. She pulled a change of clothes out and went into the bathroom. She turned on the light and looked at herself in the mirror.

The sight was frightening. There was a cut on her forehead that had been cleaned and a bruise that covered the side of her face. Her neck bore marks in the shape of Stefan’s hand. She didn’t remember getting dressed or cleaning herself up. She turned on the sink and washed her face as gently as she could. She wanted to shower but how her waist felt, she figured it would not be the best idea. She did the best she could to wash away any dried blood that was left. She changed into a pair of jeans and a tank-top with a built-in bra. She figured she would grab a cardigan, despite the hot August air, to hide the bruises that were left on her arms.

“You gave me a right scare last Gorgeous.” Caroline all but jumped back as she re-entered her bedroom. Enzo was standing in the master’s bedroom with a concerned expression on his face. He held up his hands to show her he meant no harm. “I heard the commotion from outside, I came running the moment I heard what was going on. Admittedly, he hid when I saw Stefan and Elena coming out.”

“You cleaned me up.” Caroline replied and Enzo nodded.

“I cleaned the wound on your head. Got you to drink some water and wrapped your waist as tightly as I could. I think you have a cracked rib. I stayed as long as I could, ensuring that you were okay but I couldn’t risk Stefan realizing I was there.” Enzo stated. He walked closer to her and his voice dropped low. “I let him know what I found last night. Caroline, he is ready to reign hellfire down.”

Enzo stepped away from her then and left the bedroom quickly before anyone came upon them. She stood in the middle of the bedroom contemplating and thinking. She knew that Enzo would contact Klaus for her. She could not risk reaching out to him now. Stefan would be watching her and the last thing he could know was about her affair. What he did last night would be nothing compared to what he would do to her if he knew about Klaus. Flashes of the pictures Elijah showed her came to mind; Meredith Fell’s body, her head completely detached from her body.

Once she felt her bravery reached her, Caroline made her way down the stairs. It was slow process. Her muscles ached and groaned with every movement. However, she could not hide away in the bedroom all day; that would only make Stefan angrier. When she reached the kitchen, she made a cup of coffee and sat at the island, thinking the night before and how terribly wrong it went.

“What did you do?” Caroline looked up quickly to see Damon leaning against the archway. His tone was light as though he did not have a care in the world. His arms were crossed and he was eyeing her up and down. “I know my brother has a temper but what did you do that made him that angry?”

“I was out with Aurora last night. Had one to many. Came home late.” Caroline replied.

“And now she knows not to do that.” Caroline froze at the sound of Stefan’s voice. He entered the kitchen, his eyes never left hers-a warning lingering behind them. He took the cup of coffee from her hands and drank from it. He sat it back down and kissed the top of Caroline’s head. “Come brother, tell me about your meeting with the Mayor last night. Tell me, what does she look like at three in the morning?” Stefan chuckled, his tone filled with humor as though his wife was not sitting before him, beaten and bruised.

Days past and Caroline did not leave the house; both because she was too injured and Stefan would not allow it. She stayed put, walking on egg shells and unsure what to do. Damon and Elena were over most days, but that was not unusual. Elena became extremely nice to Caroline, acting as though they had been the best of friends forever. Caroline smiled at her, but did not engage her to much. Stefan’s eyes rarely left hers and he made sure that she was never left alone with Damon; who seemed to notice nothing at all. Enzo filtered in and out as usual, giving her only looks; clearly not being able to say anything at all; but something was about to happen.

Come Tuesday morning, hellfire came raining down. She locked herself in the house, rarely doing anything other than reading and watching movies. Stefan made it a point to stay home for the rest of the weekend and did not go into the office on Monday or Tuesday; telling them that Caroline was sick and needed him to care for her. In truth, he did no such thing. He ignored her and she knew that this was another way for him to control her and watch her movements; but Caroline gave him no reason to strike out at her. It was about ten past nine in the morning when everything changed.

“FBI. Open up.” Caroline sat up quickly, her body crying out as she did. Before anyone could answer the door, it burst open and agents came flooding in. Dozens and dozens of agents started tearing the house apart, looking for something; anything.

Stefan flew down the stairs, demanding to know what was going on. He yelled at the agents who ignored him and continued the assault on the massive house. Elijah Mikaelson stepped over the threshold casually, his hands in the pocket of his trousers; not giving a single fuck in the world.

“Get the hell out of my house. You’re not welcome here.” Stefan hissed at him but Elijah looked at him impassively. He reached into his suit jacked and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to him. Stefan snatched it out of his hand and began to read.

“I believe that you’ll find a federal warrant allows me to be in every inch of your house.” Elijah replied coolly. A loud crash came from inside the dining room; the china case if Caroline was assuming. “We are investigating the murder of Meredith Fell and re-opening the murder of Elizabeth Forbes. Two deaths we have sufficient evidence to believe you were involved with.”

“This isn’t a warrant to search my house.” Stefan hissed out.

“My apologize. That must be the one for your arrest.” Elijah reached in and pulled out another piece of paper. “This must be the one for the search of your house. Do not worry. We have another warrant searching your brother’s home as well.” Stefan snatched the paper out of his hand and read. “Now, you can either come with me willingly or I can have you taken by force. I’m sure you would not want to make more of a scene in front of your wife.”

Stefan turned to look at Caroline, her bruised face and battered body on display for all the agents around. Her shorts and tank-top left nothing to the imagination. The visible hand-prints on her neck made it clear that she had been chocked. It would not take a genius to know what happened to her and now the FBI clearly knew what Stefan did to his wife behind closed doors. While Stefan was busy glaring at his wife as though she brought the FBI to their door, Caroline stole a glance at Elijah. His expression seemed cool and collected but there was something behind his brown eyes that was terrifying.

“Fuck you.” Stefan replied, turning back to Elijah; who just gave him a cruel smile.

“Take him.” Two agents descended upon Stefan and roughly pulled towards the front door. “I’d cooperate if I were you Mr. Salvatore. I would hate for this to become more of a spectacle than it already is.”

The agents dragged Stefan from the house while Caroline just watched; catching glimpses of her neighbors pointing and whispering behind their hands. Chaos raged around her as her home was being destroyed. Every ounce of furniture was being destroyed, torn apart and searched for something. She could hear the same treatment being done to the second and third floor. When a hand touched her shoulder, she jumped; for a second, she thought Stefan some how made his way back into the house but was relieved to see that it was Elijah looking at her.

“My apologize Mrs. Salvatore. Caroline.” Elijah said, his eyes searching her. “Are you well?”

“I’ve been better.” Elijah nodded in understanding. “Whatever your searching for Elijah, it won’t be here. Or at Damon’s. They are not stupid to keep anything incriminating here.”

“Perhaps but some raids are not meant to find anything at all.” Caroline read between the lines. These agents were not hear to find anything but instead to plant something. This was just one step in a larger plan. “I believe that you’re wanted upstairs Mrs. Salvatore.”

Enzo’s words echoed in her mind. Caroline, he is ready to reign hellfire down.

Caroline gave him a confused looked and it wasn’t until he smiled that she turned and went quickly as she could up the stairs; her cracked ribs only allowing her to move so fast. She passed all the agents and stepped over the debris that was being left behind. Her eyes searching every face she passed, looking for one in particular. When she got to her bedroom, she pushed the door open and saw only one agent. Except, he wasn’t an agent at all and he wasn’t searching for anything.

Klaus stood in the bedroom she shared with Stefan, an FBI jacket hanging off his shoulders. He wasn’t going through their belongings, trashing the room (which was already trashed by another agent) but instead he was installing something in the television that was perched on the mantel, facing the bed.

“Klaus.” He turned when he heard the sound of her voice. He dropped his screwdriver and marched over to her. Gently, he placed his hands on her face. He took category of every bruise on her body and Caroline could feel the rage that was radiating from his skin. His body was shaking and she could feel the tension radiating from him. “I didn’t know you joined the FBI.”

“I’m not in the mood for jokes.” Klaus replied but his lips tugged upward. “I needed a way into this house. To you. Elijah was more the willing to provide the distraction. I was one face of many, storming in. Stefan would be focused on Elijah and I could come in undetected.” Of course, Klaus would use the FBI as a distraction for his own personal vendetta. “I wanted to come here and kill him the moment Enzo informed me of what happened to you. Elijah’s cooler head prevailed. This was Elijah’s plan.”

Caroline stood on her tip toes and kissed his lips lightly. She wasn’t up for anything deeper than a light peck but Klaus was willing to accept what she could give. She buried her face into his chest, inhaling his scent. This the safest she felt in days. Klaus felt like home to her and she wanted out of this hell. She knew that they were working on it but last night scared her. Stefan was one mood away from killing her.

“What were you doing when I came in?”

“Installing a camera. There will be dozens throughout the house once this is over.” Caroline shot him a look. “Stefan’s arrest will only hold him for so long. His lawyers will have him out on bail within days.” Caroline nodded in understanding. This was not the end but instead a power play. Caroline realized that what Klaus had done before, sending pictures of Jeremy’s body, raiding Stefan and Damon’s docks, slowly dwindling down their power, was child’s play. “He will never lay a hand on you again. If he tries. I will know. We are going to attack him from all sides. Financially, ruin his reputation, Stefan won’t be able to make a move without us knowing.”

“And Stefan and Elena? Their affair?”

“Give it time, love, and they will be a tragedy of their own making.”

[songsofacagedbird]

Hello, I’m Katie, this is my sunshine daughter Balo, and you’re watching Disney Channel! Jokes aside though, I’m so excited to bring Balo back and while not much has changed (truly this is nothing more than a continuation where I only omit plots my partner doesn’t want to revive), have a new intro / bio anyway because... I felt like it ok.  I’ll be good and not ramble too ungodly long though so without further ado - another one of my excessively long intro posts:

TWs: Child Abuse / Abuse, Alcoholism (not Balo’s, but her dad’s), Eating Disorders (anorexia nervosa)

Is that BALIAN “BALO” DRISKELL? Wow, they do look a lot like CANDICE SWANEPOEL. I hear SHE is/are a SEVENTEEN year old JUNIOR who originally attended LUXOR Academy. Word is they are a(n) REGULAR student. You should watch out because they can be NAIVE and SENSITIVE, but on the bright side they can also be OPTIMISTIC and BUBBLY. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.  [KATIE, 23, EST, SHE/HERS]

Last Edit: 8/26/2020

★ basics;

Full Name: Balian “Balo” Grace Driskell Age: 17 Birthday: February 7th, 2003 at 08:06 am Sexual Orientation:  Balo really doesn’t label it (although I like to say bisexual, biromanitc to make my own life easier), she always just falls for who she falls for regardless of gender. If you ask her exactly, she’d probably say MOGAI though. Relationship Status: Kinda dating Caitriona but it’s unofficial Occupation: Student Nationality: American

★ classes;

Communications

French

Geometry

U.S. History

Fashion design

Visual Art

Pilates

★ extracurriculars;

Arts Club (Member)

Balo also used to be a Cheerleader (Flyer) and part of the Gymnastics team but due to her leaving / concerns about her health, she was required to step down, much to her devastation.

★ background;

Place of Birth: Rochester, New York Hometown: Saratoga Springs, New York Health Issues: Eating Disorder (Anexoria) Traumas: Abuse (Constant/Ongoing - from her father)

★ physical;

Faceclaim: Candice Swanepoel Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blonde Height: 5′11” -- not at fc height because I don’t wanna change her height with the new fc Weight: 120 lbs - give or take Tattoos, Birthmarks, Scars, etc: Nothing I find a need to link at the moment.

★  zodiac;

Tropical

Sun: Aquarius Moon: Aries Mercury: Capricorn Venus: Capricorn Mars: Sagittarius Jupiter: Leo Saturn: Gemini Uranus:   Aquarius Neptune: Aquarius Pluto: Sagittarius Lilith: Aries N Node: Gemini

Placidus Orb

I ASC: Pisces II: Aries III: Taurus IV: Gemini V: Cancer VI: Leo VII: Virgo VIII:  Libra IX: Scorpio X MC: Sagittarius XI: Capricorn XII: Aquarius

★ relatives;

Father’s Full Name: Lance Driskell Father’s Status: Alive Father’s Occupation: Restaurant Owner Mother’s Full Name: Cassandra “Cassidy” Driskell Mother’s Status: Alive Mother’s Occupation: Waitress at a local diner (not Lance’s place) Siblings: 1 older sister and 2 older brothers

Driskell Children Oldest to Youngest:

Ivan Marsden (22, attending school in England)

Grace Driskell (19, in California for school)

Zander Driskell (LINK TO HIS INTRO)

Balo Driskell

Here is a link to the Driskell family page if you’d like to know more about her family.

★ misc;

Hobbies and Talents: Balo’s a sketch artist and painter who tends to focus on realism, in particular realistic humans and animals. It’s her true passion and I have an inspo section for her sketchbook here! She’s also quite flexible and skilled at gymnastics, part of why it’s bothering her she can’t participate currently because she loves it and she’s good at it - making her removal from the team eat at her even more.

Pinterest Section  // Musings Tag // Playlist

- Balo’s kind of a literal ray of sunshine who believes (almost) everyone is truly good at heart. While she tries to see the best in everyone, no matter what, she truly can’t see it in her father, a fact she feels extremely guilty over it. - She loves art, sketching and painting especially, and she always dreamed of being some sort of artist. While her mother encouraged it every chance she got, her father is truly a different story. - Balo is very easy to manipulate and I encourage it constantly. - She truly just wants to love and befriend everyone, while it’s not really too hard to make her cry, usually you’ll see Balo running around with a smile trying to brighten everyone’s day. This is an issue because she’ll put everyone around her before herself every time, your happiness is a priority before hers. Again, making her easy to manipulate. (So I welcome manipulating Balo and love it when it occurs, please feel free to do so at any point) - Her best friend / favorite person in the entire world at this point is Logan Keller, mention him only if you really wanna see this girl light up like a 4th of July fireworks show. (They’re still in touch, for those of you who remember him from when Jia was playing him here!) - Balo recently got out of extensive inpatient for her eating disorder so while she’s doing a lot better, she’s really doesn’t want it to be the main topic of conversation either. She's okay and back at Luxor and she feels that’s the most important thing at the end of the day.

★ bio; TWs: Child Abuse / Abuse, Alcoholism, Eating Disorders (anoxeria, weight loss, and complications from both)

“'Cause I know that nothing good comes easy, if it did, I wouldn't be me.”

If there was one quote that fit Balo Driskell’s life to a t, that would be it. Nothing was truly easy in the Driskell’s home, she was the youngest of three children - an amount that her mother never wanted to have, and would do whatever it took to stay at after this point. Anytime her father walked in after work, the stench of alcohol clung to. She could smell it on her breath every time he yelled, each time he threw things, anytime he hit her. One could have easily convinced the young girl that all families were like this, that everyone covered up bruises and pretended they were much happier than they actually were if it wasn’t for her mother.

Perhaps Casandra Driskell never wanted her children, but she loved them with her entire heart. She’d sneak her children money, things they weren’t allowed to have - guitars, paints, canvases, sheet-music, legos, and whatever else her father deemed banning fit at a moment's notice. She wasn’t always around, working a job at the local diner, but when she was she did everything in her power to protect her children. It was never enough, though.

Lance Driskell still hurt his children close to daily, whether it was smashing Grace’s guitar over her head the moment he found it, pulling Balo down the stairs by her hair, or lashing Zander with his belt - there were quite a few times where a Driskell had to go the hospital and the family had to lie through their teeth to keep people from looking too closely at them at their mother’s urging. If it was investigated the three children would be separated, they would lose their mother, or at least that’s what they were told - and none of them wanted that. It became common for one child to intervene for another if they could, Zander especially taking the brunt of the punishments for his sisters.

It was part of loving someone in the Driskell home, trying to keep everyone else safe no matter the cost it had on you.

Her childhood wasn’t all bad, however, there were quite a few silver-linings in the dark cloud called the Driskell home. She had a close friendship with her siblings and her mother, and she has plenty of fond memories with them. Christmas was always peaceful, as her father always took that shift at his restaurant and refused to celebrate the holiday with them - a time where he couldn’t taint the joy inside of the Driskell home. She could paint when her father wouldn’t catch her in the act, something she loved doing (and she still does every chance she gets), and she had Logan. Logan Keller was her next-door neighbor and her best friend. If you saw one of them, the other probably wasn’t too far behind. In many ways, he was her person - someone she felt like she could go to with nearly anything (she could never discuss home with him at this point, of course, but everything else she could and she did). 

And then the Driskells moved away and it was like the world was ripped out from under her feet - leaving her spiraling and looking for some sort of control. Her new friend didn’t help matters much either, constantly encouraging her to “shed the weight” they swore she gained. She soon found this sense of “control” in the form of her eating disorder, careful attempts to keep herself as thin as she could, of restricting her food every chance she could.  It wasn’t healthy, far from it, but it fulfilled the desire to have some semblance of control over her life.

Sending the children to Luxor had been an easy decision for Cassandra the second the children were able to attend, a way to ship them off to safety while not being too far away from home. While it pained her a first to be away from her mother, eventually she began to understand. She was safe while at school, and at the end of the day, that was what mattered the most to her mother, right? It wasn’t hard to get into the flow of life at the school, staying at school and only coming home for the breaks that the school refused to keep students during. It broke her heart when Lance shipped Ivan to England and told him not to come home (a thought that still pains her to this day), after the boy served his use, and it only grew harder when Grace graduated and moved to California. But she was happy at Luxor, in spite of everything.

And in a way, her love for the school only grew after the merge. Now there were twice as many people to befriend and support, and in the process, she realized something she had been missing had been under her nose for a while. Logan was attending school at Luxor too, and all of a sudden, she had her person in her life again. At the time she felt on top of the world, regardless of the circle beginning to stir up issues.

And then, suddenly, she was knocked right back down to the ground.

First Logan was kidnapped and forced to deliver the message, and then he was forced to go home for personal reasons. The support she had so quickly grown used to having was seemingly being ripped out from her yet again. While he was still in touch, continuing to be her rock, her eating disorder only continued to spiral out of control. And no matter how much she tried to pretend she was fine, it was getting to the point there was no way to really do so. Balo was sick, and now everyone could tell. It was concern from her teachers that helped fuel the chain of events that resulted in getting her help, no matter how much she tried to assure everyone she didn’t need inpatient therapy and that doing outpatient would be fine. After several months of inpatient followed by a bout of “readjustment to the real world” time at home, she’s back at Luxor and as sunshine-y as ever.

TLDR / quick important notes bio recap for rereads: - Balo’s home life is far from perfect. Her father, Lance - is an abusive alcoholic, and while her mother tried her best to protect her children - she also covered things up without hesitation. It wasn’t uncommon to see a Driskell in the ER with a lie and people willing to back up the story. - The lack of control in her life is what led to her eating disorder, in hopes of regaining a (false) sense of control. - She’s been attending Luxor since freshman year, although she recently had to leave for a few months to attend extensive inpatient treatment. And now she’s back to her normal sunshine-esc antics, trying to love everyone, feeding all the strays at Luxor, and trying to spread smiles everywhere she goes.

★ wanted connections;

Friendships

Someone to manipulate her, please I beg you

Um, pretty much anything? She likes everyone cause if you do something to hurt her she does mental gymnastics to come to the conclusion you are a good person and it was an unintended side effect so...yeah. Doesn’t mean your muses have to like her though (I have a lot of fun when they don’t actually, so… don’t worry about hurting the sunshine daughter. Okay?)

Anyone who knows her from the gymnastics and/or cheer teams, as she was on the teams through Freshmen & Sophomore years, and until October of her junior year.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever had a computer virus before? Not with any of my Apple laptops, which I’ve been getting for over 10 years now. Prior to that, I did have a few issues with viruses. Not fun.

Are you dependent upon anyone? >> Of course. Everyone’s dependent on someone, even if only indirectly. <<< True. I’m also very dependent upon my family, especially my mom.

Are there any book characters you’d like to portray? Uh, I don’t want to portray any character. I’m definitely no actor.

Who did you last text? My dad.

Is there anything on your bed right now? Yeah, several pillows, my bedsheets, my throw blanket, a few stuffed animals, a coloring book, a couple sets of colored pencils, two little pencil sharpeners, a little notebook, a book, an Nintendo Switch, my laptop, my phone, the chargers for aforementioned electronics... lol my bed is also my desk since I spend majority of my time in bed.

When was the last time you went to the grocery store? Back in early March. Prior to this quarantine/lockdown, I went with my mom twice a month. Since all that began, she’s just been going. We’ve been using the online order thing. What way would you like to die when it’s your time? Peacefully.

What are you most afraid of in the world? Death, diseases, violence, losing loved ones... Have you ever been caving? No.

Do you do well in math related things? Noooo. Me and math never got along.

What is your favorite fruit? Bananas. 

If you had to choose, which sibling would you live with? My younger brother and I already live in the same house.

Do you have any tattoos? Nope.

Are you planning on getting any in the near future? No.

When was your last date? Four years ago.

When did you get Facebook? Sometime in 2008.

What was your first pet’s name? Buster.

Are you good when it comes to computer issues? Uhh, depends what the issue is. If it involves the hardware itself then no.

Are there any people at your job who absolutely hates you? No job.

What was the last book you read? Don’t Tell by Willow Rose. I’m just starting, The Girl and the Hunt by AJ Rivers, which is the 6th book in a series.

Have you ever read any books in one day? Yeah, several.

What was the last thing you bought? A couple shirts and masks from Young and Reckless. The masks are black and say, “Keep your distance.” The shirts are black and say that as well in tiny font on the upper right side and on the back it says, “Thank you for staying away” in big font. I got one for my mom as well because it seemed like the perfect shirt for her to wear to work lol.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Is there any jewelry you wear constantly? Nope. 

Are your fingernails painted at the moment? Nope.

Do you prefer cool, warm or neutral colors? >> I like a variety of colours for different reasons. <<<

Have you ever taken art classes? Just an art history class in college.

What’s the most boring movie you’ve ever seen? Hmm. I’m blanking.  Do you know how to work a cash register? I’ve never used one.

Fact or fiction novels? I’m more of a fiction gal.

Have you ever suffered from depression? Yeah, it’s been an ongoing battle for as long as I can remember, but these past few years have most definitely been the worst. Depression won.

Do you think you’re a clingy person? I can be when it comes to my mom. 

Do you enjoy kisses on the cheek? Uhh depending on who it’s from.

Have you ever been in a physical fight before? No.

How often would you say you disagree with your parents? We definitely have our disagreements, but I don’t know how often I’d say they are. A lot of them are about the same things.

What color shirt did you wear yesterday? >> Black.

Do you have a job? If so, do you like it? Nope.

Have you ever been called a slut before? I’ve had friends say it as a joke.

What’s something you’ve been craving? A day at the beach. D:

Have you ever slept with your window open? Yeah.

Can you play violin? I took lessons in 4th grade, but I didn’t enjoy it. Just wasn’t my thing. I stuck it out for the whole year, though.

What was the last desert you had? Brownies.

Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet? No.

Do you know anyone you talk to on Facebook but won’t talk to in person? No.

What color are your mother’s eyes? Brown.

Do you have a best friend? If so, how long have you been best friends? All 30 years of my life.

Do you cry easily? Yeah. Somedays I’m just on the verge of tears all day and anything can set it off. 

Have you ever been into a court room? I think during a field trip in elementary school.

How many necklaces would you say you own? Hmm. Maybe five.

Do you plan on being strict towards your children? I plan on not having children. I’m going to be 31 soon and feel strongly about not having children and I just don’t see something super drastic happening that makes me change my mind. But I’d be even older if something drastic did happen, so probably not even then. I’m meant to have doggos. (:

Do you own any tie-dye shirts? Yeah, a few.

What would you say is your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same for me, really.

Do you ever wear lipstick? I haven’t in a long time.

Do you own a pool? Nope.

Do you have a Tumblr account? Never heard of it.

Would you say you’re overweight? No. I’m actually too underweight.

How many colors are in your hair? Well, it’s mostly red, but my roots are starting to grow out. It’s not too bad, yet.

Do you flirt with a lot of people? I’m not a flirtatious person in general. If I flirt, it’s with someone I’m interested in and have been talking to. I don’t flirt with everyone or with people I don’t know.

How many bank accounts do you have? Just one.

Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yes.

How old are you? 30.

Do you attend church regularly? Not physically, but a local church uploads their service every Sunday to watch or listen to and I’ve been watching that even before the lockdown/quarantine. Since then, they’ve been live streaming since they can’t meet in person.

Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? There’s a lot of songs where the lyrics just speak to me as they say and I really relate to them.

What time did you wake up this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but I assume I’ll get up sometime between 1 and 3 since that’s how it’s been the past few months.

What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? ^^^

What kind of car do you drive? I don’t drive.

What kind of car would you like to have? Not something I’ve given much thought.

Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? Not since I was a kid. I remember liking the blizzard things.

How old did you turn on your last birthday? This is just another way of asking how old I am, which you already asked me.

Ever felt like falling apart? Oh yes. I’ve felt like I’ve fallen apart and like I’m going to fall apart, just barely hanging on. I’m always just trying to keep it together. I’m like Humpty Dumpty who couldn’t quite be put back together again.

Have you ever been in an ambulance? Yes.

Do you tend to worry a lot? Yepppp.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? Like 6, I think.

Do you remember your first time on the internet? It was when I was 9 or 10.

Which website do you email from? Yahoo.

Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Sure. I love getting them myself when on vacation and I’d certainly appreciate if someone brought me something from theirs.

Do you get angry with people easily? Not angry, but irritated and frustrated. 

Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? I feel like I’m just not even on the radar for most people.

Have you ever had the flu? Yes.

What about strep throat? Yes. It’s been a longggg time, though.

Have you ever been to a psychologist? No, but I need to.

What’s the worst part about school? For me it was that I just got so overwhelmed and stressed out so easily.

Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you’re still in school?

When was your last vacation? Back in early February. I can’t believe that even happened this year because quarantine/lockdown has felt like 84 years.

Would you ever consider going on a cruise? I’ve thought about it and they do sound fun, but... I don’t think I could.

What did you last buy from the store? A few Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks.

Would you say you enjoy being single or in a relationship more? All I really know is being single, so I can’t really say for sure. I do miss being interested in someone and talking to someone in that way, though, and the very little experience I do have with dating. It’s best for me to be single, though.

Do you try to stay busy a lot? I spend my days with my usual go-to distractions. I wouldn’t call that keeping busy, though. I don’t feel like spending all day on various social media platforms, watching YouTube and TV, reading, playing Animal Crossing, and lounging is “busy” if that makes sense. I think of productivity when I think about keeping busy. To me the things I do are just distractions and things to pass the time. Just something to do, ya know? *shrug*

What’s your favorite quote? “Blah.” ha.

Do you lie a lot? I’d be lying if I said I never lie, but I’m not a pathological liar. 

Do you still act childish most of the time? I sure can be stubborn, moody, and whiny like one.

Did you ever enjoy gym class? Nope.

What is your biggest insecurity? I have a lot of insecurities. 

Have you ever painted a room alone? Nope. Or at all.

Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? Never.

What’s for dinner tonight? I don’t know, it’s only 3 in the morning.

Do you ever drink alcohol? Nope.

Have you ever had a terrible hangover? Ugh, yes.

Do you ever get migraines? No, but I get terrible tension headaches.

Do you know how to garden? I don’t do any gardening. Not my thing.

What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? The egg cooker thing to make hard boiled eggs.

Do people consider you to be a funny person? I have my moments.

Do you have any bad habits? Oh do I ever.

Do you like children? If not, why is this? Sure, in small doses. haha.

What is your favorite snack? Deviled eggs. Super random, but they make a delicious snack.

Do you own any gaming systems? I have a Nintendo Switch. I use my brother’s PS4 to access stuff like Netflix or watch DVDs in the living room.

How old were your parents when they had you? Early and mid 20s.

Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? There’s no such person, currently.

Do you trashtalk people a lot? Nah, just myself.

What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? TikTok has been pretty amusing.

Does the future excite you or scare you? It terrifies me.

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? No.

Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? I spend a lot of time with my immediate family. We’re very close, but we also live together so we’re able to do so. I don’t see my extended family very often, and not at all since the quarantine/lockdown.

How often do you shower? Every couple of days.

What would you say is your favorite genre of music? I like a variety of music.

Do you need to clean your bedroom? It could use a little straightening up.

What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? I don’t know. I don’t want to keep going on like I have been the past few years... 

Do you enjoy Chinese food? I like some. I haven’t had any in quite awhile, though. I’ve actually been really wanting potstickers.

Do you smile a lot? *shrug* I give a lot of half smiles.

What is your favorite movie from the nineties? That’s tough. I love a lot about the 90s.

Which decade were you born in? The 80s, albeit halfway through the last year of the decade. 

Are you good at giving advice to people? I think I used to be. Not now.

How many huge secrets do you have? Wouldn’t you like to know? Maybe I have a lot. Maybe I have none. Like the Tootsie Pop owl says, “the world may never know.” Oooh, I’m so ~mysterious.

How many people know these secrets?

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once.

Do you ever floss? Once in awhile, but no not usually. 

Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? No.

Ever considered suicide? If so, did you try to commit suicide? Yes. No. Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? No, I do that to myself.

Do you like texting or calling people more? Text. I don’t like talking on the phone. I don’t a lot of texting either, though.

What’s your favorite band? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Do you have a lot of friends? I don’t have any friends.

Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? I don’t paint.

Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? Oh, I’m not going out to eat anywhere anytime soon. I don’t care if dine in is slowly becoming an option again. Things are starting to open up again in phases, but please don’t mistake that to mean we’re in the clear and it’s perfectly safe to do so. We’re still very much in the midst of this pandemic. Please don’t be lax about your outings or start going all over the place. 

When did you last babysit, if ever? Not since my brother and a couple of my cousins were kids. They’re all adults now. 

Do you have any younger siblings? Yep, just mentioned my younger brother.

Have you ever thought of someone as useless? I don’t think of others that way, just myself.

Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? Yes and I do.

Do you drink vitamin water? I was super into Vitamin Water back when I was in high school. I haven’t had any in quite a long time.

Do you ever straighten your hair? It’s been a few years since I’ve straightened it myself, but when I go to get my hair done the lady who does my hair straightens it.

What’s the best way to end a conversation? Uhhh it depends? 

Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Yeah, there’s several.

Have you ever had a Big Mac before? Many times. I’ll get a craving for one every now and then.

Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? Haaaaa no, not at all.

Where is your favorite place to travel? Beachy places.

What is your goal for the next few months? Getting through the summer somehow. Next week we’re having a few triple digit weather days.... it’s not even summer, yet. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I can’t even escape to the beach this summer. D:

Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? Sí, en Español.

Do you own a lot of shoes? A few pairs.

What is your favorite season and why? Fall and winter. I just love everything about it--the cold weather, the holidays, the smells, the decor, and just the coziness of it.

Does photography interest you at all? >> Not really. I like looking at photographs other people have taken, though. <<< Yeah, it interests me in that way but I don’t have any interest in taking up photography myself.

Have you ever played on a sports team before? If you have, what was that sport and when? Nope.

Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No.

Do you think you’re a good singer? Nope, I know I’m not. Doesn’t mean I don’t do it anyway at home to myself, though. 

Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? I’ve only been wearing leggings the past few years.

Do you think you have a good sense of style? I like what I wear, which is all that matters.

Do you enjoy reading often? Yes, I love reading.

Ever had food-poisoning before? Yes. Not fun.

Where did you last eat dinner at? We got Wingstop takeout last night if that counts. I haven’t physically been out to eat in months, though.

Have you ever shot a gun before? Yes, once. I went to a shooting range with friends and learned how to hold and shoot one. I don’t know what type it was exactly, but it was a small handheld. It actually made me quite anxious doing so and even just being in that environment, so yeah it was just that one time. 

[iris-writes-things]

Two Guys and a Baby: Day 11 part 1

Read on AO3, FF.net or under the cut, or read up to 1 chapter ahead as a $1 Patreon patron!

"Oh my God…" Anthony mumbled, rubbing his hands in his face. "I've known you for ten years, how did I not see this coming?" "What do we do now?" "Well, obviously, I'm going to teach you how to cook. Starting with dessert."

Or, it's going to be a long night.

Chapter 14 of 20 Ongoing 2265 words Romance/Humor

That Tuesday morning, Crowley really wished he’d woken up by golden rays of sunlight filtering through old, dusty windows, surrounded by the warm smell of old books and the even warmer presence of Ezra at his side. But alas, Crowley had a responsibility and no way to move Adam’s travel bed to the bookshop, so they’d said — and kissed — their goodnights late the night before, and each gone home with a lighter heart and a spring in their step. And so he woke a tad colder and slightly more lonesome than he would have liked between his Egyptian cotton sheets to the sounds of Adam fussing. It was still an improvement to a few nights before.

And so he got up to feed Adam his breakfast.

*

Dunroamin Bakery & Patisserie smelled of butter and freshly baked goods. The fragrance met Crowley halfway around the block and if he hadn't already planned to swing by for a pastry or two, he sure did now.

Marjorie Potts, nicknamed Madame Tracy for reasons unknown to Crowley*, greeted him from behind the counter while Sgt. Seymour Shadwell** was scuttling about, preparing the cinnamon rolls. Crowley liked the older couple. Not just for their superb pastries, but for their story. Both widowed at sixty-five, they had found each other, fell in love, married and invested their life savings into opening a bakery to give them both something to keep busy. That was five years ago. Now, their little shop was a staple among London’s top food bloggers, even if the two only knew them as their regulars and neither of them really knew what a blog was.

(*Though, legend has it that she frequently earned some extra cash in uni by holding séances and reading people's fortunes and her stage name kind of stuck.)

(**Drillsergeant, retired, never deployed.)

"Good morning, love. What can I get you? That caramel coffee again?" Madame Tracy asked, already reaching for the coffeemaker. Shadwell prattled behind her with a vague air of jealousy. The man should know by now that he didn't have anything to fear from Crowley, but Madame Tracy insists he does that with everyone she calls 'love'.

"Please," Crowley said with a sigh that sounded more tired than he had hoped.

"Little Adam keeping you up all night?" she asked, handing Adam a dry biscuit. He ate it gratefully.

"What? Adam? No, he's better than I could have ever expected." He carefully took the paper cup of coffee Madame Tracy handed him over the counter and took a sip. His jaws tensed from the sweetness. It was perfect.

"Is it about your crush in the bookshop, then? Giving you sleepless nights?"

Crowley's face broke out in a wide, snake-like smile. "Well…"

"Ooh, so it is," Madame Tracy cooed. Shadwell murmured something that sounded suspiciously like 'bleeding southern pansy'.

"He loves your chocolate croissants. Adam, too," he added. "We've… had something of a breakthrough."

"Have you, now?"

Crowley blushed. "He kissed me. Then we had brunch, and he held my hand the entire time...”

“But that’s wonderful!”

“Oh, and I quit my job."

Madame Tracy paused. She had already been bagging the chocolate croissants. Even the sergeant turned around with a wide-eyed stare. "You what?”

“I was just so done with their bullying, so when they came to fetch me yesterday I just handed in my resignation, effective pretty much immediately.”

“I didn’t think you had it in you, lad,” Shadwell remarked out loud for the first time that day.

“Frankly, neither did I,” Crowley shrugged. “But I’m glad. I mean, I can finally focus on my art again. And I’ll have plenty of time to spend with Ezra, until he gets sick of me.”

“Of course he won’t get sick of you, you old silly. But we’re very happy for you, aren’t we, sweetheart?” Madame Tracy said, turning to Shadwell and back to Crowley again as she handed him the bag of pastries. “You take this, love. On the house.”

“I… uh, thank you. That’s very sweet of you. Are you sure…?”

“Yes, we’re sure. Your coffee, too. Now, go on and surprise that young man of yours while the croissants are still warm. Oh, and do give him our regards.”

“I will,” Crowley said, starting on his way to the door. “Thanks again, really. I mean it.”

“We know, love,” she said, and waved him goodbye.

“Honestly, I wouldna’ have trusted that southern nancy boy to stand up for himself if someone held a gun on him. Lad might have a pair of stones on him after all,” Shadwell told his wife when he must have thought Crowley was out of earshot.

Madame Tracy shushed him.

*

By the time Crowley arrived at the bookshop, Ezra’s agent was there again. The bell over the door rang, but neither of them seemed to notice.

“Then it’s decided. No book tour, but you’ll sign a number of them in private. It’s really the perfect compromise.

Ezra nodded. “I’m inclined to agree with you, Gabriel.”

“Sounds like a lot of work,” Crowley said as he walked up to them. “I could help out, you know,” he suggested.

Ezra turned around and smiled at him. “Anthony!” he exclaimed. Crowley swore he was going in for a kiss, but he refrained from going through with it. Crowley blamed it on Gabriel. “How were you planning on helping out?”

Crowley smirked and shrugged. “Give me a year and I’ll forge your signature flawlessly.”

“Of course, you could.” Gabriel rolled his eyes.

Ezra patted Crowley’s shoulder, hand sliding down to rest at the small of his back. “Thank you for your offer, but I think my readers would prefer for it to be authentic.”

Despite very nearly jumping out of his skin, Crowley simply shrugged, putting on an air of fake nonchalance. After all, there was a warm hand on the small of his back and that was not something he had anticipated for that morning. “If you say so. It’s your wrist, angel.”

Gabriel glanced at them in a way Crowley knew all too well, but quickly hid it with the empty smile the American seemed to wear so often and clapped his hands with a gaiety that was just as synthetic. “Well then, now that we’ve cleared that up, I’ll leave you two to your brunch,” he said gesturing at the bag of pastries under Crowley’s arm. “But I do hope you’ll feel more comfortable with public appearances in the future.”

Ezra smiled softly, wrapping his arm around Crowley’s waist. “Well, who knows what the future might bring. I’ll see you around, then.”

“Right,” Gabriel said and turned on his heel, making for the door. “I’ll see you around.” And the door fell shut.

*

“Good morning, by the way, Anthony,” Ezra said, unable to suppress the smile that fought its way to his face.

“I… Morning, angel,” Anthony said, almost stammered, with a slight look of disbelief on his face. 

Ezra tilted his head and looked up at Anthony. “Is something the matter?”

“You just…” Anthony tried and seemed to struggle to find the right words. “You just touched me, like that, in front of another man…” he nearly hissed, finally turning his surprise and panic outward.

Ezra, on the other hand, quirked an eyebrow. “Should I not have done that?”

“No. I mean, yes! I mean-- I just didn’t expect it, is all. I thought you were, you know, the slower type…”

“Oh, my dear Anthony...” Ezra smiled in genuine amusement as he removed Adam from Anthony’s arm and carefully placed him on the floorboards of the shop before turning his attention back to the other man. “Anthony, I've wanted this, you, for so long now, I can't bring myself to hide or hold back now. Besides, Gabriel knows. He doesn’t care that I’m the way I am. In fact, he encouraged me to confess to you. Sort of. He said watching my pining was painful, and he’s put up with it for seven years.”

“Ah, so with Gabe it’s fine, but with, for example, your family…"

A chill ran down Ezra's spine. "Out of the question," he said firmly.

"Just checking," Anthony mumbled, putting down his coffee and the bag of pastries on the shop's counter before snaking his arms around Ezra. "I shouldn't have said that."

"I appreciate the effort, my dear, but there's nothing to check," Ezra whispered, returning the embrace and burying his nose deep into the scent of Anthony's cologne. It calmed his nerves ever so slightly. "They were abundantly clear when I was fourteen, and when my ex-wife and I divorced, and they would be if they could see us now. And the worst part is, they would do it with the best of intentions."

"You know what the road to Hell is paved with," Anthony whispered in Ezra's ear as he petted a hand through his hair.

"Reasons their youngest won't show up to birthdays and Christmas anymore, or even return their phone calls."

Anthony chortled, which made Ezra smile.

He pulled back from the embrace to give the man a better look. "Anthony James Crowley, I hereby swear on my life that you will never have to formally meet my family."

Anthony laughed and kissed him, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "Ezra Zacharie Fell, I wish my mum was alive to meet you. She would have loved you more than I do," Anthony joked. "But for real, Angela and Anathema have pretty much already adopted you as their new brother-in-law slash uncle, so if you'd be up for it, once Adam is back with his mothers, you could join us for family dinner, this Friday night?"

"I would love to."

*

Ezra had decided quite early on that he liked Anthony's family. If only because they were so different from his own. They were just so… Ezra wished informal wouldn't be the right word, but it was.

For starters, no one ever seemed to call anyone by their actual first names, unless for dramatic effect when someone was in trouble. But then again, Ezra wasn't under the impression that anyone ever got in trouble in their family in the first place. Mum and dad were just mum and dad, not mother and father. But none of that was even what Ezra liked best about them.

'Angie? Hey, it's me…' he heard Anthony from his usual window seat.

No, what he liked best was that their bonds were based on mutual trust and respect. That Anthony got what he needed to flourish as himself in his home situation. When they had nothing else, they had trust and respect, and while Ezra had practically everything else, he never had that.

'Yes, I know you're working, I'm sorry, but I just wanted to ask…'

Had he been younger, he might have resented Anthony for that. For his freedom. For having experienced everything Ezra had missed. But by now, thirteen years after just letting himself be himself, he had done the catching up he needed. At least, he certainly hoped so. Although, having dinner with one's technically-in-laws was not something he had planned on doing by the end of this week.

‘Would you and Annie mind if I brought along a plus one? Yes, I know it’s technically a plus two, shush...’

Of course, he knew Anathema and he knew of Angela. They were exceptional human beings and ever so like Anthony. Some say hate breeds hate, but Ezra could now say with absolute certainty that love breeds love as well. But even that knowledge didn’t stop his hands from shaking. He’d done the whole in-laws dance fifteen years earlier with Michaela and her parents. It had gone swimmingly then because he didn’t have any, as they say, ‘intentions’ with their daughter. Just a nice, kind, if a but bookish kindergarten teacher. But with Anthony, he did. Very much so. He wanted to hold Anthony's hand, for example, and hug him and kiss him and cuddle him in bed on cold days and go for trips to the beach on warm days. But more than any of that, he wanted to love Anthony in the way he could never love anybody else.

'So it's okay then? If he brings dessert? I'm sure that can be arranged.' Ezra became vaguely aware that Anthony was looking at him. 'Alright, Angie, you're the best. Thanks. See you on Friday.'

*

"Dessert? Me?" Ezra cried.

"Well yeah, it's your favourite course, so I figured it would be perfect," Anthony stated matter-of-factly. Then his face paled and grew slack with panic. "Oh no, was that wrong? Should I not have said that?"

"It's just--" and Ezra felt his cheeks grow red. "Dessert is usually the most complicated course to make…" he sighed. "And I haven't cooked for myself. Ever. Apart from maybe eggs and bacon, cold sandwiches," he thought for another second “and instant pasta.”

"Oh my God…" Anthony mumbled, rubbing his hands in his face. "I've known you for ten years, how did I not see this coming?"

"What do we do now?"

"Well, obviously, I'm going to teach you how to cook. Starting with dessert." Anthony smiled and patted Ezra’s cheek. It didn’t calm him down one bit. “Adam and I will leave a bit early today, since we’ll have to get groceries. Dinner at mine, 7 PM, no excuses. I’ll do the main course, then we’ll make dessert together, alright?”

By the time Anthony’s hands reached Ezra’s own and clasped them firmly, he remembered how to breathe again.

“Alright.”

[theorynexus]

Chapter 10 in the Ongoing Live Reaction Blog

Well, now. Good for her.   This feels like something that could be used to establish a proper timeline, if I could just remember what happened in those bloody... Instagram (?) pictures... .  Also:  Jake continues to embrace hope, distracting everyone with his manliness, as is the natural order of things.   I do not know how to feel about either of the relationships showcased here.  Specifically, it feels like both of them might be unhealthy, but there’s not enough displayed to judge for sure.   At least Jake isn’t the one being pressured into things, right now.

Of course she is. She’s the heiress to the Batterwitch. Obviously. 

Yeah, I’ve noticed humans are often Xenophobes too. It’s a very strange phenomenon.  But this is why it struck me as odd when John was thinking of them as celebrities, earlier. It is also why gods living among mortals in general is a dangerous proposition. It could potentially stifle greatness emerging from within the population, despite all the potential good that could be acquired via the intervention/aid/ingenuity of incredibly long-lived beings with super powers. That problem becomes worse when the gods in question are barely adults. Great Power coming with Great Responsibility has a correlate suggesting Great Irresponsibility among the Greatly Powerful results in Massive Tragedy and Horror. We’ll see how that will play out for Homestuck, I guess. Let’s hope for the best!

On the other hand:  HECK YEAH, KARKAT!!!   (I just really want him to have an important and leading role again. I loved what he was able to do during the trolls’ session with Aradia’s help, and I missed him being important. [No, it didn’t feel like his role in the fights against Lord English, or against Clover were enough to really earn that feeling of role fulfillment~] I’ve always been a sucker for his personality.)

I am just... extremely happy that this is the case. It almost brings tears to my eyes.  (Not only that Karkat is loved, but also that Dave recognizes all the great leadership potential within him, even despite all the garbage programming he’s shoved down his own throat following the end of the Trolls’ session.)

Ouch. Low blow on two notes:  Not only the puppet mastery comment, bringing back all the cringe memories of his ninja brother madness, but also calling him a coward after all the struggling Dave has had related to that conception of himself. “ or talking about the top six hundred stupid things Karkat saw earlier that day because he made his intrepid annual decision to go outside. “ How can something be so cute and horrible at the same time?   I mean this specifically regarding the possibly hyperbolic annual trip, not the semi-cuddling, by the way.

This. It is also sad and beautiful. *shakes my head and quietly laughs, because I knew that Dave would bring up Obama, here*      Just so fricking ridiculous and sortof beautiful, after he tries to pretend that he was purely thinking about their current Earth.  I love how neurotic and silly he can be, at times.

It’s funny because it doesn’t even matter what side of the aisle you’re on. There is a horribly great sum of ironic humor to be derived from this. It’s almost painful!

Yes. As long as you are friends with a god and are one of the ancestral heroes of your no-longer-dead race, YOU TOO can become President!    (Which is a horrible joke, considering I secretly aspire to high office, myself.) ... Did we really just have a massive time skip, demonstrating Karkat/limebloods are extremely long-lived, or was that “thousands of years” referring to things before these creatures were transplanted to the new Earth? HOW THE HECK DID THE MAYOR DIE?!?!?! ***rewatches the Credits***    Oh, well that time travel explains some things. I am going to continue, then~ Wow, that Dirk Pinata was quite beautifully cut down in the prime of its youth. I approve. OH!  Thaaat’s where John went Trickster Mode.  That makes much more sense than the Easter Egg being canonized. ...  I just realized that John’s reaction to his black hole dreams is sortof weird, given his conversation with Terezi, who’s going out and investigating things around it at the time. I do appreciate the consistency of Karkat’s frustration with Jake’s butt. Thus John’s malaise starts at 18.  I suppose this makes sense, in a coming of age story.  He had no endgame plans, so it’s a bit harder for him, maybe.   At least he doesn’t have to abandon some massive project he had in the works, or anything like that. (Kanaya and Rose look very cute in front of that mother grub together~   As is the picture of all the chess people coming together to celebrate John’s birthday.) ***wonders if indeed the ten people other than Caliborn are John’s 10 closest friends***   If so, has Terezi indeed returned, then? Or perhaps Calliope has replaced her on that list, for some reason?  It is indeed a difficult mystery to untangle, to be sure. I love Caliborn’s “COME TO MY DARK CARNIVAL” picture. He just looks so excitable and strangely almost cute.   Also: Hooray for knowing where that was in the timeline, now!

OH NOOOOOO!!!~            (It’s a good thing I chose to confront him.  ;3)

[weasleyimaginewheezes]

Weasley twins x reader / All’s fair in joking and love

A/N Second birthday fic for Fred and George. This is my first one with both of them and reader so if it’s bad I apologise. This one wasn’t requested but I rolled with it anyway. Natural mix of angst and fluff. Also if anyone wants to request a (smutty) part 2 of this I’d happily write it.  I realise their birthday probably wouldn't happen at the burrow for the sakes of this story it does anyway enjoy <3 A/N

Word count: 2,189

Warnings: None except for some class A pranks ;).

“Happy birthday!” 

All the Weasley’s (except Charlie and Percy) along with Harry, Hermione and me had been waiting for the two birthday boys to wake up and make their way downstairs. Fred and George feigned surprise as though they didn’t get this almost every year and made everyone laugh with their dramatics. 

“Oh my god you guys!” Fred fanned his face as though he was about to cry much similar to a teenager or a pageant queen. Meanwhile George made an ‘ugly crying face’ prompting more laughter. 

“Come on boys I made you some birthday breakfast.” Molly ushered them down from the stairs with a large smile and began serving them pancakes as they sat down, the rest of us following. “And you can have any toppings you like.” Molly gave a small wink and then instantly regretted her choice of words as Fred and George both reached to pile everything and anything they could onto their pancakes. By the end you could no longer see the pancake itself under the weight of copious amounts of chocolate and sweets all mixed with different sauces of all flavours, it was enough to make anyone nauseous but not the twins. They dug in as the rest of us kept it simple with some chocolate and/or fruit. 

The conversation was light and fun as we all enjoyed breakfast that was until a loud scream erupted from the end of the table and everyone turned to see Ron screaming at his plate. He got up and ran away almost as if he had seen a- and then I saw it, a massive black spider covering Ron’s plate where his pancakes had once been. Fred and George burst into laughter and high fived each other. 

Molly told them to turn it back after a disapproving speech about April fools day jokes. They looked as though they hadn’t taken a single word in as they stifled more laughter. I heard George whisper to his brother, “we’re only just getting started.” I suddenly dreaded what the rest of the day was bound to bring but was excited to see nonetheless. 

They did not disappoint. 

Each member of the family had been got. Ginny’s hair had been transformed into a big ball of fluff atop her head as well as it changing colours every 5 minutes. 

Harry had been having uncontrollable sneezing fits one after the other, Molly thought he was ill and insisted he rest up. It wasn’t until Harry reached up and grabbed something in thin air just under his nose, it was a feather that become visible at this touch. Harry laughed it off with Fred and George, thankful that it wasn’t ongoing unlike Ginny’s hair. 

Bill had woke up to find his hair cut short. He had ranted to his mother who he suspected had done it whilst he was sleeping before it grew back to twice its original length an hour later, his hair was nearly hitting the floor. He found the twins and they confessed after Bill intimidated them in a way only an older brother could. 

Hermione had been more difficult to prank. They had thought about fake burning her books but that was a push to far even for them so they decided to use one of their own creations. They used a sweet she wasn’t aware of as yet, the nosebleed nougat and bribed Ginny into giving her one because no way would she eat anything they gave her. She accepted with only a tiny bit of suspicion but Ginny convinced her they were some old fashioned muggle sweets from the muggle store and since Hermione’s parents were dentists and did not approve of much sugar, she decided to trust Ginny and gave into temptation. Molly was not impressed when she had to fix Hermione’s heavily bleeding nose 5 minutes later. 

The only person left was me. They didn’t dare prank Molly or Arthur, that would just end in more trouble than its worth. I waited and waited, trying to anticipate for the worst. It wasn’t until 4pm that something happened but it wasn’t a prank, it was Fred pulling me into his room as I walked past on my out of the bathroom. I looked heavily confused at him as he smirked his devilish smirk at me. 

“What?” I asked, my voice was shaky for some reason. I was on edge, that must have been it, expecting the worst to happen. Perhaps George would jump out disguised as a terrifying clown with a chainsaw of some sorts.

“I need to tell you something.” Fred looked like he was about to burst with excitement or maybe it was nerves? But why would Fred be nervous, he was only ever nervous when he was being severely told off by his mother or if he was talking to an attractive girl whom he liked. I nodded encouragingly for him to continue. He took a large inhale of breath. “I think I’m in love with you (y/n).” 

My throat dropped to my stomach and your heart felt as though it had abandoned me out of shock but then I felt it pound hard against my rib cage. My face was a picture; eyes widened to the size of a quaffle, face fully red.

And then it struck me painfully like a bolt of lightning. He wasn’t serious. This was it, this was the joke. And it was a cruel way to end the day. I looked closely at Fred who kept up his nervous façade. Irritation clocked on my face and Fred’s eyebrows knitted together. 

“Very funny.” I applauded. “You got me but I’m gonna go and have dinner now because I’m pretty sure your Mum is calling.” I knew Molly wasn’t even half done with dinner but I had to leave that room and fast. Fred wasn’t to know of my past feelings for him but still it didn’t make it less painful to know the thought of us together was just a joke to him. 

The downstairs area of the burrow was mainly empty. I heard cheers from outside and assumed that they were playing Quidditch outside. Molly was preparing dinner along with what looked like a large chocolate cake and one lone person was sat on the sofa reading. I looked over and saw it was George, my curiosity peaked and I made my way over as Ginny flew quickly past the window.

“Hey Georgie.” George peered over what I realised was an old copy of one of Lockhart’s books. “You can’t be seriously reading that.” George looked confused and turned the book to look at the cover, once he realised he threw the book onto the table in front of him, a look of disgust on his face. I laughed as he smiled at me. 

“So why were you reading that?” I asked through my little fits of giggles. George sighed and sank down into the sofa. 

“I wasn’t. I just needed to hide from Ginny. Her hair still hasn’t gone back to normal and she’s gotten pretty good with the bat bogey hex. She’s always looking for a new test subject.” He heard the door open and checked to make sure it wasn’t his sister. 

I laughed again. “But she can’t do magic outside of Hogwarts anyway.” 

“I wouldn’t put it past her, she can be fierce when she wants to be.” George sounded almost intimidated. I laughed a little more before George turned suddenly serious and faced me. “(Y/n) what would you say to a person you liked but was also one of your best friends?” I furrowed my brow at the question but answered it anyway. 

“Well, I’d just put it simply. Tell them how I feel and then see their reaction. Honesty is the best policy.” I internally cringed at myself for using my mothers phrasing but felt comfortable with my answer. George twisted his lips thoughtfully and nodded. 

“Okay then,” George sat up straight and just as I had he urge to ask who it was he said, “(y/n) I like you and I mean in a more-than-friends way.” He took a large deep breath at the end and I was taken aback. Seriously both of them? George looked hurt as I laughed. This couldn’t be happening. I was already conflicted in my feelings for both of the twins I didn’t need their jokes to make things worse. 

“Really? You know it’s bad luck after 12pm to pull an April fools joke?” George looked confused. “Plus Fred’s already tried that one. You need to get your ideas straight.” I huffed and walked off to the kitchen, asking if Molly needed any help and to my relief she did. 

George stormed upstairs to his and Fred’s room. “What the hell, Fred?!” 

Fred turned from where he was sat on his bed to look at his brother. George looked livid. His face was red and his nostrils flared. “What?” 

“Don’t play innocent. I know you asked (y/n) out.” Fred shrugged, still throughly confused at what was happening. “You know I like her!” George looked hurt and angry and Fred began to feel bad.

“George, I didn’t-“ Fred started, sure he’d never heard George talk about (y/n) in any sort of romantic way. George gave him a glare which prompted Fred to stop talking. George laid flat on his bed and gave a groan of annoyance.

“You know this is so typical of you.” George’s irritation was clear in his tone. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you practically fall in love with every girl you meet and the one time I find the girl I want-“ George cut himself off out of anger. 

“What if I actually like her too?” Fred asked his voice raised to almost a full yell, loud enough for the people in the kitchen to hear. George scoffed at his brother before he saw Fred look guilty yet sure and defiant at the same time and George didn’t question it. Neither twin knew whether to be angry or not. 

“You do? Like seriously?” George’s voice was sceptical, it was the biggest prank holiday after all. Fred nodded slightly angrily at his brother. George just sighed and put his head in his hands. “Okay so now what?” 

“Last time we both wanted something we did rock, paper scissors?” Fred suggested seriously, George just laughed.

“Fred that was for the last piece of bacon.” George sighed rubbing his palm over his face. “It’s not the same. (Y/n) isn’t bacon.” Fred laughed a little and they both went back to thinking how best to resolve their situation. “We could both just back off.” George suggested. Fred’s face fell a little but it was the best solution besides having me choose which wasn’t fair. The twins shook hands and made their way back downstairs to tell me.

I was in the kitchen manually chopping up some carrots when the twins both arrived looking solely at me. They dragged me away into the living area.

“Look (y/n) we wanted to apologise for earlier,” Fred started.

“Yeah it wasn’t cool. But you should know we weren’t joking as we seriously do like you.” George continued and I widened my eyes in shock.

“But too avoid any heartbreak or awkwardness we’ve decided to let you go,” Fred once more chimed in with a sad smile.

“Like a bird from a cage.” George finished their sentence and they both smiled at me but I didn’t know how to react. Maybe it was for the best to move on but I had been trying that for the past 3 years and it hadn’t worked out greatly in my favour. 

“What if I don’t want that?” I said quietly but loud enough for them both to hear. George and Fred who were just about to leave, wore matching expressions of shock making me giggle. 

“What?!” They both said in a unison of shock and confusion. I laughed a bit more loudly. 

“Well what if I dated both of you?” The twins became even more surprised before becoming more interested in my proposal.

“Go on.” Fred encouraged.

“Well the thing is, I like the both of you too, have for a while actually and although I could never choose, I haven’t been able to think about anyone else in that way since I was 13.” Fred and George blinked their eyes as though waking up from a dream, I smiled sweetly at them whilst my brain imploded with worry.

The twins looked at each other and had a silent conversation between themselves. The silence made me more and more nervous. Fred was the first to turn back to me. He shrugged his shoulders and then smiled widely as did George. “It’s worth a shot.”

I went up and kissed them both sweetly on the lips. And just as I went to leave, I looked back over my shoulder at the still shocked twins. “Oh and happy birthday.” I winked and saw them smile once more before going to the kitchen as Molly called everyone for dinner.

[oh-styles]

Can you elaborate on the times gem and Anne walk in in h and famous y/n? Obvi they are having sex but what exactly do they walk in on/see where are they and how do each of them react?

It’s an ongoing joke in his family that Harry doesn’t know how to lock doors, and you’re about to find out why.

The first time it happens is when she and Harry ventured off to Holmes Chapel to spend some time with Anne before he sailed off on his first solo tour, and it’s in the early afternoon when Anne declares she’s going to go to the market with a friend to find some stuff for dinner. She doesn’t think twice about leaving the two of them alone in the house for a little bit, not when they are currently dozing off on the sofa with a cat napping on their lap.

It rises in their minds the second the door clicks closed that they are going to be alone for a little while, nobody will be home, they have the place to themselves for a little bit.

“I think the bed will be a bit comfier, don’t you think?” Harry looks down to the missus laying on his chest, and he can sense her smile as she squirms beneath his arms. “Is that a yes?”

It most definitely is, because a few short beats later, they’ve made their way up the stairs and slid through the doorway, already pulling at each other’s garments in haste.

When Anne returns twenty minutes later, to a hauntingly quite house, she assumes they have moved their nap upstairs. Harry is always complaining about his back on the sofa anyway.

She begins to stride up the stairs, and as she catches sight of their bedroom door open, she goes to have a peek to see if they are still asleep, but is only met with her son entangled in his hips of his girlfriend. If she would have kept quiet, they wouldn’t have noticed her presence, but at the sound of a light gasp from the doorway sends their attention to the other side of the room, it’s muttered curses and flailing of ligaments and searching for blankets and clothes before they even register Anne is no longer in the room.

“She saw us,” she wheezes, clutching the sheets to her chest. “She fucking saw us fucking. I can’t…I’m going home. I can’t look at her—”

“No,” Harry pipes up, making the short distance to the door to firmly close it shut. “It’ll be fine,” but by the dreaded look in his eye, the embarrassment he quickly tries to hide with a smile, she knows it’s not entirely fine. “She must know we fuck—”

“Knowing is different than seeing you dick!”

He knows this is true, but he also knows his mother better than her. She’s walked in on him when he was much younger to his hand under the covers – oddly enough, jerking it to a photo of the missus – and once the elephant in the room was brought to attention, things went back to normal.

“She won’t be mad about this, if that’s what you think.” He grabs his shorts from the floor, tossing the missus her bra and pants. “She’d be mad if I didn’t use a condom—”

“Every time I look at her, Harry… Every time I look at her from now on, I’ll know that she’s seen us fucking…your dick inside me—”

“Hey, at least she didn’t walk in on you sitting on my face now, hm?”

When it comes to Gemma, it’s when she, her mom and friends fly out to LA for Anne’s birthday, and to attend Harry’s iHeart performance, as well. They all stayed in the missus home, her thanking them for finally getting a use out of her guest bedrooms. Everyone was down by the beach soaking up some sun, and the missus had just gotten back home after a set of interviews from that morning.

Harry, who earlier had Jeff over to go over the setlist for his show, was now currently standing in the middle of their kitchen, in nothing but his boxers, as the missus flew through the doorway, chucking her purse onto the island.

“Today was annoying, people were annoying, everybody was annoying.” She heaves a exasperated sigh, resting her head against the refrigerator. “What’s everyone doing?”

“Beach time. Jeff just left.”

“No wonder you’re in nothing but your skivvies. Could have gotten dressed after Jeff left…”

“Actually, sun…” He sidles up behind her, pressing his waist firmly to her bum. “I was waiting for you—”

“No, absolutely not, Harry—remember last time we had sex in a close range near your mom? Remember her walking in on you hitting home base?”

“She is at the beach with her friends… they aren’t in the house, are they?” He is a matter of fact hum to his words, as if those ladies couldn’t walk the short distance back to the house for a water at any given second. “I miss you, pet. Been away a lot… I only have you for another couple of days. Gotta make the best out of them, don’t you agree?”

She wants to smack the smug grin off his face.

Once they find themselves back in her bedroom, he only has the patience for dipping his boxers down to his thighs, and pulling her underwear to the side, her dress swung over her back, before he’s pushing himself in, nearly forgoing the condom.

“Don’t you fucking dare—I’m not having your kids yet.”

Yet.

Gemma, who had been enjoying the sun with a nice book and ice tea, decides the heat has won for the day, and trudged back to the house in search of aloe for her soon to be reddening skin. Deep in every cabinet she is left empty, and decides her last hope is the missus bathroom.

What she thought would be a simple and easy trip, ended with her standing in the doorway of the missus bedroom, staring back her brother like a deer in headlights, both of his hands firmly grasping the missus rear, and her hunched forward with her knuckles white against the bedsheets.

“Christ—Harry, for fucks sake.”

Needless to say, the missus never lets Harry’s penis near her ever again when his family is around, but this encounter does make for an interesting dinner conversation later that night.

“What sounds good for dessert, love?” Anne smiles at her son, finishing the last bit of her wine.

“Oh, Harry already had his dessert today, mum.”

[katvonkitty-blog]

Getting back into the groove

So I know that I have only really written a couple of blogs and posted a silly amount of photos but I'm getting to a point in my life where I feel like I need to stop writing out minor thoughts to myself and sharing these thoughts with the world like I intended. Because one thing I have realized is people take other peoples opinions and base their decisions off of other people's opinions, such as Yelp and restaurant reviews.

So in the hopes that someone will read one of my blogs and find something in it that they want to try or will think will be useful or helpful to them, I'm going to make an effort to write (at the very least) one blog a month. I'm going to try and do more but with the way life rolls, it's hard to determine how much time I'll actually have to sit down and write.

Right now in my life I'm going through a bit of a stressful time but I feel like I am managing pretty well, considering the way I used to manage stress.

It started with me coming back from doing yoga teacher training in Thailand and literally the same day I got back, I went to see my dad. To see the state that he was in was really quite shocking and upsetting. He was barely able to stand on his own two feet to give me a hug. He wobbled, and I'm not sure if it was because he had too much to drink or if it was because he was lacking the nutrients he needed from food. My father has been an ongoing concern for me in that regard. He never seemed to really have much care for himself and that to me is very sad. Yet no matter how many times my brother or I would talk to him about his health, it's almost like he would just shluf it off and tell us he's fine but then continue to complain about how he's not fine.

Within a week of my being home, my grandmother fell 3 times. Each time refusing to go to the hospital because, in her mind, going to the hospital means you're going to die, especially if it's Oakville. Sorry, that's a inside joke with my family. Yes, we are a little dark with our jokes. But we also feel like if you can't laugh at life, then you're taking life too seriously.

Just for the record, my grandmother feels this way about Oakville hospital because her husband as well as her mother-in-law went there and died there.

After the third time my mother managed to convince my grandmother to go to the hospital, Credit Valley not Oakville, and that's where she's been for the past two months. Her mind slowly deteriorating and her now refusing food for a couple of weeks, we're all prepping for her to "move on". Despite her dementia, my grandmother from time to time voices that she does not want to die but I feel she knows that it is inevitable and that her time is coming soon.

Thankfully my aunt from California came to assist in keeping my grandmother company so that my mom could have a bit of a break, some time to herself. Little did she know that her break was going to be longer than she expected and, due to the circumstances, hoped.

As soon as my mom took a day to herself, the night of she ended up in the emergency thinking she was suffering from concussion symptoms which then turned out to be an obstructed bowel. It has now been one and a half weeks since my mother first got into the hospital and had an emergency surgery. She has since then had a second surgery to correct a problem that occurred during her first surgery and has been constantly nauseous, not being able to eat. In fact, it has been a week and a half now since she has actually eaten food. The hospital has hooked her up to something like an IV drip to give her some nutrients.

During all of this, my boyfriend and I have been adamantly looking for an apartment with no success. Not only has Toronto become ridiculously expensive for a one-bedroom apartment but most of them have the weirdest layouts. The search continues.

In the meantime, I am keeping myself busy with work and trying to maintain my mom's house. Feeling more and more responsible and more like an adult each day, especially as my 31st birthday approaches.

Even though I have had my emotional moments throughout all of this, I have still managed to keep my shit together. Especially with the love, support and help of my brother, a number of my mother's friends, some of my own friends/co-workers and my boyfriend.

It's funny how stressful times can show you just how blessed you really are.

[wehavenoheroes]

Some paladin headcanons yo

*HUNK* -He has anxiety which is kind of shitty when you have the pressure of /the whole universe's fate/ upon your shoulders -But he has been living with it for quite the time so he knows more or less what he has to do to calm himself down during a panick attack or a breakdown! -Still, there are moments when everything is simply overwhelming and he just need a shoulder to cry onto and someone to listen and rub his back (you've heard of Hunk helping Lance when he's homesick, now get ready for Lance helping Hunk when the situation is /just too much/) -He loves music with a passion (in part because it helps him with his anxiety), so he is the kind of friend who is ALWAYS singing. Humming some tunes while cooking or working on a new invent with Pidge, singing 80's pop songs in the shower; soft, relaxing ballades when someone in the team just can't sleep -Just imagine the paladins in an alien planet gathered around the fire and waiting for Allura and Coran to come pick them up, Hunk randomly starts singing a campfire song and everyone just goes with it -Coran teaching him some popular altean songs and being so excited when Hunk is!!! Genuinely!!! Interested!!!!! And now he sings them from time to time and it brings Coran, oh, so many memories -Okay so Hunk is a nice guy we all know that BUT let me tell you he ain't someone to mess around. Nu-huh. This one time Lance had one of his brilliant ideas for a late night plan and Hunk HAD warned him it would go wrong but Lance just wouldn't listen. In the end they both got grounded and Hunk was pretty mad at Lance so he decided to play a prank on him. Long story short, ended up without eyebrows. -Hunk then felt bad about it so he helped Lance every morning to paint them on his face until they grew back -Spoiler: as we all know Lance didn't learn his lesson -He has too moms! One of them (his biological mother) is samoan, the other one is british. He also has loooots of cousins. -He had some plants in his room back at home, sometimes he just wonders if they are doing well -Can't draw to save his own life -Has one one of this loud laughs that make you laugh too - *Keith*: -makes a super good comeback to some bitchy comment from Lance - *Hunk*: -Bursts out laughing super hard because that was just too good- *Lance* : -Betrayed Look™- *Hunk*: -Wiping off a tear- I'm sorry man, I just wasn't expecting that -When he is laughing a lot he will go into that Silent Mode™ where you can see he is laughing but he isn't really making any sound??? Also his belly will start bouncing -Once Lance made him laugh so hard he had to lay down afterwards -Have you seen the vine with the guy that says "So I'm sitting there, barbacue sauce on my titties..." and the girl loses her shit? That's them. *PIDGE* -Ticklish as hell. Literally _everywhere_ -Behind her knees and her armpits are her worse spots -This may seem adorable but *no*. She writhes and kicks when she's being tickled -She once hit Matt on accident while he was tickling her and made his nose bleed -Poor guy wasn't expecting that -She's a bit of a picky eater but mama & papa Holt raised her well so she always tries to eat everything when someone cooks for her -Back at home, Matt would be the first one to see her new invents, now Hunk and Shiro are! -She has never really had a crush, she isn't really interested in that for the time being, but she's starting to suspect that she prefers girls over boys -She suffers from migraines, and her head hurts a lot when she is tired -At that times she just needs to lay down in complete darkness and maybe a friendly hand massaging her temples -LOVES HORROR FILMS/BOOKS/VIDEOGAMES -Tbh she just loves anything related to horror and creepy stuff -She follows a bunch of youtube channels related to that -Has never shaved and doesn't plan on starting anytime soon -She is usually talks with memes and references to the pop culture. -She enjoys how practical and comfortable her short hair is but sometimes she looks at Allura or Keith and wishes she still had her long hair -She has an inside joke with Keith and they just start randomly singing the x-files theme and laugh their asses off - Lance: I can't find my jacket, I was sure I left it here yesterday Keith: -whistles the x-files song- Pidge: -snorts- *LANCE* -When he was a kid he watched HSM. It changed his life. -He became Sharpay, he knew all of her songs and dialogue by heart. He forced his older brother to play Ryan -On his 9th birthday his parents got him a pink boa and a toy mic because he had been asking for those LITERALLY NONSTOP for six months -When the mic ran out of batteries the whole neighbourhood was relieved -If you tell him you prefer camp rock over hsm he will lose faith in you -Says "holy moly" and "see you later, alligator" completely unironically -He has an ongoing battle about this, because he firmly belives it makes him sound cool but no one agrees -Only Shiro supports him -He can really sing. Like. The boy has some pipes. -Once they were at the common room hanging and Hunk and him started singing disney songs but when they got to Poor unfortunate souls he got over excited and really went for it -Allura droped the mug she was holding when he hit the high notes -Now sometimes he and Hunk will go around singing and everyone just listen to them feeling Blessed™ -he tried to give himself an earring -it did not end well -at all -His low self esteem comes in part from his early teen years, when puberty hit him. He got really really tall really soon. He was enven thinner and lankier than he his now and a couple assholes made a lot of fun of him because of it. -Now he is comfortable with his body though he wishes it was easier for him to gain muscle -Hunk and him met when they were 14 and really bonded over their insecurities and comforted each other, happy to have found someone who UNDERSTOOD -loves makeup and used to wear a lot of fun eyeshadows looks back on earth (only on weekends though, it was forbidden to wear makeup at the garrison). He really misses it -His favourite band is The cat empire! *KEITH* -He eats A LOT. And when I say a lot I mean he could devour a pot of spaghetti all by himself and still be hungry for dessert. -He likes everything but has a sweet tooth -Always wears socks. Dumb socks. -He has ones that he found at a dollar store that have an orange sonic and under it THE NINJA TURTLES written in comic sans -they are his favourites -found out he was gay thanks to watching gerard way dance in mcr lives on youtube -he was his first crush -aaah, adolescence, what a beautiful thing -Despises Jack Black for some reason. He refuses to watch his films -Has long hair because he is way too lazy to cut it -Kinda uncomfortable with romantic relationships? Like maybe he has a crush but still he wouldn't know how to maintain a relationship with him. Really wants to try tho -Sings The death of a Bachelor shouting in the shower -how do I LIIIIIIIIVEEEE - Shiro: wow Keith, it's 6am and you are already up, you really woke up early today Keith: -with bloodshot eyes twitching after 6 coffes and 8 hours watching conspiracy documentaries- what.

[anotheruserwithnoname]

85 Statements Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

I was tagged by @universe-on-her-shoulders​

I’ve tagged a number of people repeatedly so rather than coming up with 20 specific names, in honour of my having just passed 600 followers, I’m going to tag anyone who has followed me in the last week.

Putting in a break here because, well, 85...

The last…  

1. Drink: hot chocolate.

2. Phone call: my dad.

3. Text message: Haven’t texted anyone in a year so can’t remember.

4. Song you listened to: Razzle-Dazzle, Bill Haley And His Comets

5. Time you cried: A while ago

6. Dated someone twice: What’s dating?

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Does my brother’s amorous Pomeranian count?

8. Been cheated on: N/A

9. Lost someone special: My mother, July 2013

10. Been depressed: Sort of ongoing for me.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never gotten drunk, mainly because if I get tipsy #10 kicks in, so I avoid. As for the second half, I got some pretty nasty food poisoning from McD’s in the spring of 2012. I remember this because it was the same day (but fortunately hours after) the Calgary Comic & Entertainment Expo where I got autographs from the likes of Summer Glau.

Favourite colors

12. Orange

13. Black

14. Red

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Neither in nor out.

17. Laughed until you cried: Happened last Saturday

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes (fortunately not in a bad way)

19. Met someone who changed you: I think so.

20. Found out who your friends are: Sort of, with regards to certain things.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: N/A

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? 100% because the only people I have on Facebook are people I already knew or are family as I’m not involved in Facebook culture. In terms of Tumblr friends, I’ve yet to meet any of them in person but I am in communication with a few of them constantly.

23. Do you have any pets? No, but my dad has a cat and my brother has three high-maintenance dogs.

24. Do you want to change your name? Nah.

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Worked. But the day after got Peter Capaldi’s autograph and a photo op at the Calgary Expo.

26. What time did you wake up? 6:30 a.m. At least that’s when the alarm was set.. 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching Game of Thrones.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Second season of Victoria. John Rhys-Davies at the Edmonton Comic and Entertainment Expo in September (I’ve been a fan of his since Shogun).

29. When was the last time you saw your mum? The day she passed away in July 2013.

31. What are you listening to right now? Construction noise in the alleyway outside.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? I work with a guy by that name. He’s sitting about 10 feet behind me as I type this. And he literally spoke to me just as I was typing that last sentence. And he’s talking to me again. Guy won’t shut up! 😂

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: I’m going to hold my tongue on that. People who know me know.

34. Most visited website: Tumblr and Jenna Coleman’s Instagram and Twitter pages

35. Hair colour: Dark brown

36. Long or short hair? Short.

37. Do you have a crush on someone: A few people, plus Jenna Coleman

38. What do you like about yourself? I have a reputation for keeping my head while everyone else is losing theirs.

39. Piercings: No, and I won’t be getting any, either.

40. Blood type: I used to know. One of the regular ones.

41. Nickname: None I want to make public. On Archive of Our Own I’ve adopted The Saddleman.

42. Relationship status: Me, Myself and I. And we’re always arguing.

43. Zodiac: Taurus. Yes, I am indeed full of bull.

44. Pronouns: he/him/hey you

45. Favourite TV show: The Prisoner, Doctor Who

46. Tattoos: No, and I won’t be getting any.

47. Right or left handed: Right.

48. Surgery: Not yet, thankfully.

49. Piercing: Still don’t have one.

50. Sport: Not big into sports, though I used to do 5-pin bowling in the 1990s. That said I’ve always admired baseball. And Stompin’ Tom Connors’ “The Hockey Song” is one I often listen to, but that’s because I’m Canadian and they passed a law back in 1976 that requires every Canadian citizen to listen to that song at least twice a year. 😇

51. Holiday: Stayed at a cabin in the mountains just west of Revelstoke, BC, in May.

52. Pair of trainers: Don’t wear trainers.

More general

53. Eating: Yes, I have.

54. Drinking: Not when I’m driving.

55. I’m about to: end my coffee break at work.

56. Waiting for: A phone call.

57. Want: Money.

58. Get married: Doubtful it’ll happen at my age if it hasn’t already.

59. Career: Communications, though if I could ever get a full-time job writing Whouffaldi fan fic, I’ll be in there like a dirty shirt.

60. Hugs or kisses: Depends on the person.

61. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

62. Shorter or taller: Depends on the person. Jenna Coleman being only 5′2, I certainly have no problem with those of a lower altitude.

63. Older or younger: I often feel I have more in common with people younger than me than those of my age or older. 

64. Nice arms or nice stomach: Doesn’t really matter.

65. Hook up or relationship: Relationship.

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on the topic. In recent days I’ve gone from the former to the latter on my blog. In real life I’ve seem to have gone in the opposite direction.

67. Kissed a stranger: No.

68. Drank hard liquor: A few times. Not a fan, though I do find Johnnie Walker Blue to be tasty. Given the cost of Johnnie Walker Blue, it’s not something that will be a regular part of my diet...

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I wear glasses and have (other than a brief misplacement at home) never lost them. The first time I wore contacts while driving, they fell out. That was the last time I wore contacts!

70. Turned someone down: Never had anyone ask.

71. Sex on the first date: What is ... nah, I’ve done that joke too many times already this post.

72. Broken someone’s heart: Doubful.

73. Had your heart broken: Oh yeah.

74. Been arrested: No. But the day is young.

75. Cried when someone died: Yes.

76. Fallen for a friend: Yes. See #73. And #68.

Do you believe in …

77. Yourself: I try.

78. Miracles: I’ve seen some odd things happen.

79. Love at first sight: Yes.

80. Santa Claus: The concept, yes.

81. Kiss on the first date: Depends how the date goes, I suppose.

82. Angels: The concept, yes.

Other

83. Current best friend’s name: I’m going to not answer that in part because I’m not really sold on the “Current” part of that question.

84. Eye colour: Blue

85. Favourite movie: Casablanca. (Yet another movie that I think Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman would rock doing a remake of.)

[walkerstormfanworks-blog]

Potential fun COA HC/prompt: one of the omega bbs grows up and starts dating and brings home their first alpha to meet Alex and George, and his name ends up being Kevin; said omega does not understand why their mom can't stop laughing.

Here you go Nonny – and this is the absolute last prompt I’m taking for this ‘verse because we’re up to basically a sequel of one shots now. But I loved this one so much I couldn’t help myself. So here it is: Gil Gets A Boyfriend

“Is he here yet?” John asked as he stuck his head in his father’s office.

“Who?” George raised an eyebrow at his oldest son, even though he knew exactly what his oldest son was asking. Just like he knew exactly why all of his boys had suddenly found that they were free this Sunday for lunch.

Usually it took monumental amounts of parental guilt and the occasional outright use of omega manipulation by Alexander to get all the kids to come to dinner every other week. And then they didn’t always get everyone around the table at the same time unless it was a holiday or a birthday.

The kids were grown now and they were busy. They had lives of their own. John and Gus’s law firm was expanding and they were working crazy hours. Gus and Henriette had another baby on the way. Phillip was working crazy hours with his residency at Georgetown and Caleb was in his first year of his post-doc, trying to make a name for himself in the public policy world, trying to prove that he was more than just a former President’s son. Gil and Rachel were busy at college and Martha and Eliza were in the middle of the existential angst of high school seniors who didn’t know what they wanted to be when they grew up.

But when Gil had mentioned last weekend during George’s birthday dinner that he was dating someone and he’d like to bring his new young man to Sunday dinner? Suddenly all of his siblings found they had a free Sunday to come to dinner. And his older brothers had shown up early.

Now George had four young alphas prowling his house, on edge and already decided that whoever it was that Gil was dating? That alpha needed to die.

“Are they here yet?” Lafayette stuck his head in beside John’s. Make that four young alphas, one alpha who refused to believe he was old enough to be a grandfather and George. And none of them were impressed with Gil’s new boyfriend. Not that they’d met him yet. Hell, George couldn’t even convince Caleb Brewster’s son— who’d taken his father’s place on George’s Secret Service team— to tell him about the young man because Gil’s detail had “promised him privacy”. Like the boy had any expectation of privacy.

“No.” George stared at them and kept his expression flat. “They aren’t here yet.”

“Oh for God’s sake,” Alexander snapped behind them. “All of you, outside. You’re stinking up my house with all these alpha rage pheremones. Gil and his young man will be here when they get here. Dinner isn’t for another hour.”

“Don’t you think they should show up on time though?” John muttered.

“What I think is that I shouldn’t have a bunch of dumb alphas prowling around my house like this is some damn mob movie and your brother has started dating in a rival family.”

“It’s—” George heard Phillip say from the hall. “Ow!”

“Dad,” Phillip called out. “Mom hit me.”

George sighed. “Did you deserve it?”

“Yes.” Alexander called out. “And I’m going to smack the rest of you if you don’t stop with this regressive alpha posturing.”

“But this guy is dating Gil.”

“Gil has dated lots of guys,” Alexander muttered.

“What?” Gus yelped. “Who? When? What guys?”

George raised an eyebrow. Gil had been dating? Why had no one told him? He hadn’t met any of his son’s suitors. Hadn’t approved of any young alphas trying to win his son’s hand.

“Newsflash,” Alexander retorted. “Not only has he dated, he’s had sex. And he’s on birth control. So is Rachel. And the other girls.”

“Mom!” Martha yelled. “Shut up.”

“Oh like having bodily autonomy and the ability to have a sex positive relationship without being shamed for it is a bad thing? I’ll have you know when I was your age—”

“We know,” Eliza yelled. “Things were super regressive back in the dark ages before Dad was President but that doesn’t mean you have to tell them all our private business. It’s none of their business.”

“It’s my business,” George called out as he closed the briefing he’d been reading and pushed back from his desk.

“Great.” Eliza huffed. “Thanks Mom.”

He made his way to the door of his office and stared at the seething mass that was his family, all of them clumped around their much smaller mother.

George stared at his husband, dwarfed by the much larger alphas surrounding him. His hair was more gray than chestnut how and there were lines beside his eyes and laugh lines when he smiled. After eight babies he was plumper than the bony young omega that George had saved all those years before. He was still bossy though. Still smart and sarcastic and every time George stared at him he felt his chest tighten as he realized that this omega had bonded himself to George. This omega had found him worthy of sharing this life and this family with.

“You’re not—” Alexander started.

The front door creaked slightly and everyone froze.

“Mom? Dad?” Gil yelled.

“We’re home.” Rachel called out. “Is anyone here?”

Their sons— and Lafayette— stampeded out of the hallway in front of George’s study and started toward the foyer.

“Alphas.” Alexander sighed.

“Don’t look at me.” George held his hands up.

“The only reason you’re not in front of the rest of them is you’ve already worked out a secret signal with your detail to kill Gil’s boyfriend if you don’t like him.”

“Maybe.” George took his husband’s hand and laced their fingers together, walking at a more respectable pace than his sons had used to meet the young alpha who had decided to face his wrath.

The front of the house was quiet when they reached the foyer and George felt worry gnaw in the pit of his stomach. Who had Gil brought home that had stunned his brothers into speechlessness? A killer? A guy with a tattoo on his face? His son hadn’t brought home a Republican, had he? No, Gil had better taste than that.

The kids moved aside as George and Alexander entered the foyer and he could see Gil cowering next to another young man, the scent of scared omega coming off both—

Oh. George’s eyes widened.

“Mom. Dad.” Gil swallowed as he lifted his chin and George watched as his son’s hand came down to hold the other omegas. “This is my boyfriend. Kevin.”

“Kevin?” Alexander asked, his voice momentarily strangled. When George looked over his husband had quickly regained his composure.

“Yes,” Gil said, his voice firm and his chin tilted. “This is my omega boyfriend Kevin. Actually, my fiance.”

“You’re what?” Gus yelped.

George reached over to smack his son on the back of the head.

“My fiance. The person I’m going to marry,” Gil answered and George heard his voice waver as his shoulders started to curl inward under the scrutiny of so many alphas.

George watched as his husband launched himself forward, hugging both young men. “I’m so happy for both of you.”

“Really?” Gil squeaked.

“Of course I am,” Alexander retorted. “But why didn’t you bring him home sooner?”

His husband looked at the pack of alphas staring at them. “Never mind, dumb question.”

His husband turned to the rest of the siblings. “Go. Outside. Beat each other up while I get to know Kevin. Shoo.”

George muscled himself forward and held his hand out to the young man still cowering by Gil’s side. “Kevin.”

“Mr. President?” The omega held his trembling hand out for George to shake.

“If you’re marrying my son I think you could call me George. Once we get to know each other you might even be willing to call me Dad.”

He let go of Kevin and turned to Gil. “Son.”

“Dad.” Gil wrapped his arms around him and George sighed in contentment to have his entire family home safe. “Don’t let them kill him?”

“No worries,” he whispered. “I’ll keep them in line.”

He let go of his son and quickly hugged Rachel as well. “Now, everyone out of the foyer. Go. Find something to do while I help your mother finish dinner.”

He smirked as his stunned boys hugged Gil and Rachel and the entire pack of them made their way back into the family room to continue their ongoing video game wars. He laced his fingers with Alexander’s and tugged him into the kitchen.

“Kevin?” George whispered and Alexander started to giggle. “He’s fucking with us right?”

Alexander gasped and then let out a loud howl of laughter, bending himself in half and choking for air. “Oh God.”

“The kid’s name really is Kevin?” George couldn’t help laughing.

Alexander nodded, still gasping for breath.

“This is your fault,” George muttered as he watched his omega sink to the floor, still snorting and giggling. George sat down across from him and pulled Alexander into his lap.

“How is this my fault?” Alexander snorted.

“You remember how you were when you were pregnant with the twins?” George muttered. “You were always horny. George, don’t worry about that trade treaty right now. I need time with Kevin.”

Alexander snorted again. “Are you suggesting that somehow the name Kevin subliminally implanted in Gil’s head as a code word for amazing lover?”

“What I’m saying is that I’m never going to be able to knot you again without feeling weird,” George retorted, nipping his husband’s bond mark.

“Yeah like a little weird has ever stopped you. Like I told you all those years ago— Kevin is a very special boy.”

George snorted as he bopped his omega on the nose with the tip of his finger. 

“Stop it. It’s going to be hard enough to get through dinner as it is. If you start making jokes I’ll never get through it.”

“Oh it’ll be fine,” Alexander wiggled in his husband’s lap and tilted his head up for a kiss. “But eventually we’re going to have to talk about Kevin.”

George snorted as he tilted his head forward to kiss his love. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Alexander replied. “You and Kevin.”

George shook his head. “You’re so wrong.”

“That’s why you love me.”

“Possibly.”

[qkantyjk-blog]

No health insurance and need a hystroctomy?

No health insurance and need a hystroctomy?

my mother has been having bad bleading and cloting she has been told by a dr that she needs a hystroctomy but she doesnt qualify for the state health insurance even though she has no income and hasnt for some time. i feel at a loss i dont know what to do i live in another country and have a young child so i cant be there to take care of this. what can she do she has been ill for so long its heart breaking she live in oregon if that helps

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[simplicityinquotes-blog]

I loved you, y’know? I still love you. I remember the first time I saw you, and at that time I didn’t know that I was going to be falling head over heels in less than a year later. You were beautiful, that’s undeniable. Many males in our grade called you a “sex symbol.” At that time, I had no interest. I thought you were just someone that everyone could fuck with, God knows we have enough of those. I didn’t care to ask how you were, or what you had been doing. I didn’t bother to try and see into your daily life. That was up until I got sat directly across from you in our Study Hall of seventh grade, and had an actual conversation with you. At that point, I didn’t know more than your name. Now I know much more about your life than I care to admit. Back then you could tell stories for days. All your ups and downs, the struggles you went through on a daily basis. You made me feel like I was alive again. Like I actually had something to live for. 

The first time I went to your house was somewhat awkward. I walked into a dark, small house, one girl laying in your bed and another sitting beside her in the floor. At that time your bed was sitting on a broken box spring, so it was sinking in towards the middle of the mattress. We’ll name the female in her bed Yulie. Yulie was always something else. A kind soul, none the less, but a fucked up one. She wasn’t hard to read and extremely desperate for attention, unsurprising. Yulie sat up when we walked in a started rolling a cigarette. That was the first time I had ever put my mouth even remotely close to anything on fire. That was also what started my smoking addiction.

The second time I went to your house, we brought another friend with us. We’ll call her Riley. Riley was not my favorite human of all time. She was vain and conceded and she liked all attention on her, much like Yulie but in a different sense. Riley had the power to get all attention on her. She was popular and stuck up but for some reason, was still friends with me. At first, me, Riley, and -we’ll name you Yuna - Yuna were like three pees in a pod. We loved each other, or so I thought, and we were known as the iconic duo of our grade. My popularity levels started to rise because of Riley and Yuna, and we just worked.

The third time I met your mother. She was something else, we’ll name her Brook. Brook ended up becoming a much larger part of my life than earlier anticipated. Brook nicknamed me something because I knew how to work the radio and she didn’t, we’ll say that nickname is MJ. The first time I met your mother was amazing because she was so beautiful and smart and funny and loud and just well rounded. But it also stirred up something I didn’t know I was hiding inside of me. The first time I met your mother was when I became an alcoholic. 

The sixth time I came to your house, we got drunk like always. It was illegal considering I was a minor, but I thought nothing of it at the time. My grades were plummeting, the only thing on my mind was smoking, drinking, and you. At that time I didn’t realize it was because I was in love with you. I thought it was normal to think about your best friend every second of the day, yet I didn’t think of Riley like I did you. I didn’t adore every word that left her mouth or coo at every cute face she would make.The sixth time I came to your house was the first time we ever kissed, and it was also my first kiss. I remember it all too clearly, even though I was 100% not sober. “I know you’ve taught a few of your past boyfriends how to kiss but this still may be an odd request. But I just don’t know how so I may need to in the future. Can you teach me how to kiss?” I believe that’s the moment I slipped off the ledge I had been holding back from for so long. I believe that’s when I fell in love completely.

The eighth time I came to your house was your birthday party. Your boyfriend was there, who I disliked majorly, and although I didn’t agree, I stood back and watched. At that point, I thought my alcohol tolerance level was pretty damn good, so I obviously didn’t think anything of it when I downed half a bottle of blue colored vodka that came from a small liquor store in the center of town. I can still taste it if I try hard enough. How it didn’t phase me at all going down besides that slight sting. I ended up mixing it with whiskey, and lord have mercy was that a night. I threw up all over your carpet and tried to clean it up, becoming an ongoing joke that still hasn’t ended (”I’ve got it guys!”) and ending up in the bathtub hollering for Yuna’s boyfriend to come so I could apologize for being a cunt.

You eventually moved out of your house and in the one across the street. Although I don’t remember the number of which times I went any longer, I know it was a bit. The fourth time in the new house I met your most recent ex (now), and we’ll name him Jacob. Jacob was peculiar, but everyone loved him. He was the type of person that was a pure happy virus. Everyone couldn’t not love him. I couldn’t not love him. And I did. I made the mistake of starting to fall in love with Jacob. I’m extremely lucky that it never completely happened. That he left before I could make that mistake again. But what scared me is he knew it was happening. We would share glances behind Yuna’s back that sometimes Riley would catch when she wasn’t sucking face with her boyfriend, Tyson. He would stare at me for minutes on end, and I would stare back, totally lost in everything he had to offer. After a while, us three ended up being in some weird three way relationship that none of us understood - not saying polyamory is odd - at all. I was the one that kept them happy mentally and Yuna romantically, and they were the ones that kept each other happy physically and romantically. Me and Yuna obviously didn’t stop all physical contact, we still made out here and there, but nothing too extreme. Me and Jacob never got closer than holding hands or cuddling.

The first time you came with me to my dad’s was something else. My mother and father are divorced, and both of them have gotten remarried. My father’s wife has three kids, two girls and one boy. One of the girls is a year younger than me and is absolutely stunning, and looks twice her age. We’ll call her Victoria. Victoria was struggling with her sexuality then. She didn’t know if she liked females or if she was strictly straight, so without thinking I volunteered Yuna to help figure it out. Yuna was not pleased by the idea at first, but after some persuading she agreed. We all three sat in a circle on the floor and I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. “How are we going to do this..?” “I don’t know! You and Yuna kiss first and then I’ll kiss her, that’s the only way I’ll do it.” Being the person I was at the time, I refused for a good solid twenty minutes. I didn’t want to kiss her by forced and I wanted to do it on my own time, by my own standards. Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you want it to, though. I gave in as well. I was sitting on my heels under me before, so I could easily spring up. Yuna was to my right, so I grabbed her face and smashed our lips together, and we kissed for quite a while. That day, Victoria had her first kiss by a girl, and I sat awkwardly and watched. By the time she left for that weekend, the household was convinced me and Yuna were dating because Yuna stated so to get my little brother to leave her alone, and instead of denying it after being asked countless times, we held up the lie for quite some time.

Lies usually come back to bite us in the ass though, that’s inevitable. As much as I’d like to continue using more than enough detail, everything comes to an end, sometimes not a happy one. Jacob ended up leaving us for his past baby mama, and me and her started fading. I loved her, but I knew she didn’t love me. Our relationship was nearly completely one sided in the feelings aspect, no matter how much it hurts me to say it. I ended up cutting you off on February 9th, 2017, and it was easily one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, irony implied. Every time I would see your face, something in the back of my head would whisper “she doesn’t love you. She’ll never love you.” I couldn’t do it anymore. No matter how much I wanted to. How much I wanted to stay and spend the rest of my life with you, I just couldn’t anymore.

That’s where it should’ve ended too, but it’s not. Six months later I came back. Six months of thinking about you every single day. Six months of me wanting you to randomly call me up and tell me you loved me and you wanted me to come back. But it never happened. I reached out because I didn’t stop loving you, and you didn’t reach out because you never loved me. 

It’s been a few months since I stepped back into one of my personal Hells, and not much has changed. Yuna has another boyfriend, a complete fucking dick that breaks shit when he gets angry, - which is often regarding his bipolar disorder -  and I’ve been left to third wheel again. Although, I think I’m okay with it. We don’t talk often anymore, and when we do it’s usually short conversations. I feel like if I don’t get as close to you as I once was, maybe, just maybe, I can make it go away.

But that’s a lot to ask for, right? One’s first love doesn’t simply just disappear. 

- someone who needs a whole lot of healing