#it’s just a take I’ve seen far too many times on Tik Tok

[holydrawingbatman]

If I have to see one more post hating on Tashi for cheating on Art, while claiming Patrick would’ve been the better option for him, I’m gonna lose it.

It takes two people to cheat on someone and Patrick was well aware of Tashi and Art‘s relationship. You can’t say Patrick did what he did (sleep with Tashi) out of love for Art. That’s stupid and untrue. I’m not denying that Patrick loved Art (romantically and platonically) but he also loved Tashi.

Excluding the main character that is female and black to only ship the two white boys is not the revolutionary and forward thinking take some of you people think it is.

(Also, Tashi didn’t only love tennis. She’s a human being capable of loving more than one thing or person. This also goes for Patrick and Art. „Patrick loves Art. Art loves Tashi. Tashi loves tennis.“ is the most boring and surface-level reading of the movie. Stripping a woman of her emotions does not make her three dimensional. It makes her a flat character even if she’s focused on her „career“ rather than „a man“.)

[romanarose]

Gross Reality

Santiago Garcia x fem!reader

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Triple Frontier Masterlist

800 Words

Summary: You are on your period and feel disgusting, Santi isn't phased.

Content Warnings: BODILY FLUIDS, all the bodily fluids. This fic is just me being self-indulgent because I'm feeling disgusting on my period today. Breif reference to butt stuff bc it's me. But mostly, if bodily fluids like puke and shit gross you out, keep going but I know this is the reality for many people who get periods.

A/N: In my head, this takes place in a lil universe of several of my Santi fics, including the one I did with Dolli, Honest Mistake, and but more importantly another Santi period fic I referenced in this fic, Santi With a Reader on Her Period.

****************

Santi Claus: Hey babe, you wanna come over today? The new Spider-verse movie is on Disney plus, we can refuel your fanfiction inspiration 👀or inspiration 👀 for other things 👀

Benny’s Hot Friend: Can’t, busy sitting on the toilet.

Santi realized, again, he needed to change his girlfriends name from what he had drunkenly put it in as months ago at Will’s engagement party.

Santi Claus: … just sitting there?

Benny’s hot friend: No, dumbass

Santi Claus: Did you get distracted watching tik tok for an hour again?

Benny’s Hot friend: NO! Im on my period and it’s day two and everything is fucking awful and I wanna die and I think I’m going to on this toilet

Santi Claus: Cramps?

Benny’s Hot Friend: Shitting, Santi. Shitting. I’ve bled through my tampons after 30 minuets and i'm sick of it and I keep needing to shit and it’s disgusting and I’m disgusting and I’m just free bleeding over the toilet and shitting when need because I can’t trust my farts ARE YOU HAPPY

Santa Claus is typing

Santi Claus is typing

Santi Claus is typing

Santi was very carefully plotting his next words.

Santi Claus: Amor, have you eaten today?

Benny’s Hot Friend: NO I HAVEN'T EATEN TODAY SANTI IF YOU MUST ASK AND I HAVEN'T HAD ANY CAFFEINE EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE.

When he didn’t respond, you assumed he’d gotten sick of your shit. It wasn’t that long ago that you happen woken up on top of him with a surprise early period, bleeding all over your new boyfriend who you hadn’t even farted around, and now, although you were more secure, you still worried you’d come across as gross and bitchy and he was over it. Your periods were horrible, the first 2-3 days at least. Dejected, you clean yourself up but only to go get more pain medicine and plot yourself back down on the toilet. 

Another round of cramps came and pretty soon you could add tears and puke to the list of fluids exiting you, ready to just get into the bathtub and cry when you felt your hair being held back and you look to your side to see Santi, eyes concerned and worried, but not disturbed.

“Do you need a hospital, mi vida?”

You shake your head. “No, tummy just hurts.”

Not deterred, Santi holds your hair and rubs your stomach as you empty into the trashcan until the pain subsided enough to try taking a pill again. Dutifully, Santi cleaned up the trash can and your face before guiding you up rinse your mouth out with mouth wash, all while muttering oft praises and encouragement. ‘There we go, let it out’ ‘Do you feel better? Bien.’ ‘Doing good, just spit it out now’

“Santi, I’m sorry, this is so gross-”

“Oh hush. This is far from the worst I’ve seen.”

“Saw worse in the military?”

“No- well, yeah, but I was thinking about the time Benny called me after getting food poisoning from Taco Bell and I had to play big brother while Will was out of town.”

“Yeah” You pant, stomach hurting. “I’ve had to deal with him sick too. He’s a bigfucking baby. Now can you please get out, I need to shit.”

Santi scoffed at that. “You think I don’t shit? I shit all day, three times before lunch-”

“Yeah, you should get that checked out”

“-I’m not phased. I’ve had my finger in your ass, I can handle what comes out of it.”

Finally, you giggle, smiling at him as he sat at the tub edge. “Okay, your funeral.” You bent over in pain again, wondering what the fuck you did to deserve this nonsesnese every month and what you did to deserve to deserve such a loving boyfriend. You wanted to marry this pain in your ass, marry him so hard. He talks to you while you take care of business whipping your face when you get the cold sweats

“Santi, I love you but you’ve gotta get outta here while I clean up.”

He chuckles, but concedes. “Okay, I brought over chinese food-” 

“Oh FUCK YEAH”

“-and coffee”

“FFFFFUUUCCKKK YEEEAAHHH”

“I’ll get it ready in the kitchen when you’re done”

He does as promised and you begin to clean up when you get a ding on your phone. You didn’t realize it was Santi’s until it was too late, and you saw it. No, he wasn’t cheating. No, he wasn’t talking shit. It was the last text you sent him and you saw what your name was on the screen.

Benny’s Hot Friend.

“Santiago Garcia!” You stand in the kitchen with his phone, fully dressed but your hair clinging to your face from sweat. “Wanna explain my contact name?”

He looks confused, then his eyes widen and he stops plating your food. Muneca, listen, I can explain-”

“BENNY’S HOT FRIEND?!” But you were smiling.

He starts to back away, hands raised in defense. “I said you were hot!”

“Did you forget my name that night?”

“Honey, I had like 8 beers and I’m a short king! I was drunk!”

Playfully, you run at Santi, threatening to bleed on him again.

***************

Anyway, shout out to my Peeps in the whorefully yours discord! we all go there and complain about our periods bc they suck. Mine arent THAT bad, I mostly had the shits and the excessive bleeding and I do just sit on the toilet sometimes but I know other people who throw up from the pain.

Your pain is real, and you deserve someone to take care of you

@fandxmslxt69 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @k-ra @eyelessfaces @ivystoryweaver @steven-grants-world @campingwiththecharmings @ahookedheroespureheart @littlenosoul

[suckitsurveys]

Have you had more hot or cold drinks today? Cold. I’ve had coffee and water so far today.

What’s a name you like that’s similar to yours? Anna, Joanna, Savannah.

Where did you get the last plate/bowl you ate with from? The last thing I ate was dinner last night and I had that on a paper plate.

How’s your mental health today? It’s okay so far. I’ve had a HELL of a couple months.

What bands and artists did you listen to when you were a teenager? Blink-182, Jimmy Eat World, Weezer, The Shins, Cake, No Doubt, Le Tigre, The Distillers, Taking Back Sunday, The Used, Kill Hannah, mc chris. Plus lots more.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? They definitely can.

What sort of restaurant did you last eat at? This Asian-fusion bar for my sister’s birthday.

Do you have a friend who’s always sending you TikTok videos? Do you actually watch them? Yes and yes. Ellen and I send each other Tik Toks all the time.

Have you ever seen a cougar in the wild? Nope.

Will you attend a wedding in the next 3 months? Not that I’m aware of.

Are you good at following instructions? Yes, but a visual aid definitely helps.

What’s your backyard or outdoor area like? We have a decent sized lot for a Chicago apartment. There’s a driveway and a garage so that takes up half, but then on the side of the garage we have a patio that our landlord installed a little while after we moved in. There’s a garden next to it and we have a fire pit with chairs, a patio table and a couple of grills out there. We also hung cafe lights above that whole area. Then there’s a patch of grass and a veggie garden against the back of our building. It’s a really cool little cozy spot and I love that we have it.

Do you like your boss? (or your last boss if you don’t currently have one)? He’s a nice guy but he’s really spacey.

When was the last time you took a selfie? It’s been a bit.

What did you have for breakfast yesterday? A banana and an english muffin with peanut butter.

What do you do to entertain yourself on a long flight or journey? On a flight I just get wifi lol. On a car ride I’m usually the one driving so I have a playlist ready. I recently took a 19 hour train ride to NOLA and I had Bob’s Burgers and The Bear downloaded on my laptop so I watched that and I played cards with my dad and just looked out the window a lot too. Where are you right now? Work.

Have you ever done a hearing test? Yeah, we used to have them in grade school, along with vision tests.

Do you hate small talk? It can be awkward but it’s fine.

What’s the hottest temperature your current town/city has ever had? It’s definitely been over 110F here before.

What programs/applications do you currently have open on the device you’re using right now? This and stuff for work.

How many steps per day do you do, generally? Not enough.

Have you had any snacks today? I haven’t eaten anything yet.

What’s the next thing you’ll tick off your to-do list? Work related stuff.

Have you ever had a chia pet? No.

What’s your favourite sandwich filling? Tuna or turkey.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? I do.

What was the last reason you saw a doctor? I thought I had strep and/or covid. I didn’t have either; just some weird bug I picked up in NYC.

Do you use light mode or dark mode on your phone? Dark, mostly.

[messandahalf10]

Okay, so this is all I’ve got, and I am struggling so it may stay as only this (cause this isn’t really that good anyway?? lol):

Thorin hadn’t meant for it to happen, not really. He had just felt himself falling, and the feeling had completely and utterly terrified him. So naturally, he did what he always did; he pulled away, he withdrew into his mind where his ever-raging storm of self-doubts and insecurities welcomed him as an old friend. They slid into his mind, twisted his thoughts, spread their oily fingers through his very skin, until he was left facing down what he assumed was simply the inevitable. Eventually, he was going to be seen as he truly was, a burden, and his heart was going to be broken.

In the end, he did what he did best. He left.

And it had hurt, of course it had hurt. But that feeling too he pushed aside, shoving it down deep beneath walls designed to keep even himself out, until he had convinced even himself that he was fine, that everything was okay. He threw himself into work and into spending time with his nephews. And when he did have a spare moment to think about Him, he kept his true thoughts and feelings locked deep in their cage, unwilling to take them out and study them, dissect them, experience them.

They were not meant for the land of the awake and conscious. They were not meant to be acknowledged at all.

Of course, Thorin should’ve known that the carefully constructed lies he had built up around and inside him would eventually unravel and leave him feeling torn open and raw and vulnerable. However, it had honestly never occurred to him that he would be missed, that he would be anything other than swept into the corner of His mind where he would fade away into nothing more than a faint memory and, sooner rather than later, forgotten altogether.

It happens on a seemingly innocuous Wednesday in the middle of a particularly wet February, the day Thorin’s carefully constructed world shifts and tilts beneath his feet. It all begins with a text.

From: BB, 7:36 AM. I know you don’t do Tik Tok but I saw this video and immediately thought of you. Had to share it.

Beneath the words is a link, that Thorin would honestly care less about at the moment. He is too fixated on the wording of the message itself. He feels a throb deep in his chest at the thought that Bilbo was thinking of him. He had no reason, as far as Thorin could tell, to be thinking of him at all. He certainly hadn’t earned that right, and before he knows what is happening, the dam he had so carefully built up inside him ever since that fateful day cracks. He can feel it, fissures shooting out in all directions, weakening the foundations and causing everything to shudder. He can practically hear it in his mind when the whole thing eventually gives entirely, crashing spectacularly and leaving him short of breath.

He stares at the message, unable to decide what to do. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to demand why Bilbo had texted him, why Bilbo was even sparing him a single, fleeting thought, if his message was secretly a plea for something else. He bites his tongue as his fingers twitch slightly. He curls his hands into fists as he stares at his now dark phone screen, sitting innocently on his desk beside his wrist.

What did he do?

With trembling hands, he reaches out and picks his phone up, thumbing it open. He hovers his fingertips over the screen, torn between replying or watching whatever video had apparently reminded Bilbo Baggins of his ex of seven months.

Based on this text post I had made a little while ago:

“Because I don’t know what you want from me.” He says softly. There’s a hint of obvious pain lacing his tone, no matter how hard he tries to cover it up, lock it away from view.

“Maybe I just want to be friends.” Comes the reply. There’s something there, but it’s unreadable, blurred like a landscape obscured in thick, white fog.

A pause. “And what if I can’t do that? What if there are too many memories there of holding your hand, tasting your smile? What if it hurts too much knowing I’m not allowed to do that anymore?”

[sleepy-shutin]

i feel like the tik tokification of CDDs has been so fucking bad and no one really wants to talk about it out of fear of fakeclaiming or whatever but like, i’ve seen a lot of people talk about how they literally can’t get into therapy for system related shit because their therapists doubt them because of how it’s such a trend right now. and because of it, all the “quirky” aspects of systems like switching on camera and full cosplaying your alters and doing little tik tok intros for all of them are so popularized but the actual disorder aspects are doubted or ignored or deemed “problematic”, like having genuine persecutors and not just edgy aesthetic alters who do black and white thirst traps on tik tok to sad boy rap or emo rock. and another thing i’ve noticed from this is people doubting RAMCOA as a whole, or telling survivors that they can’t talk about their trauma or vent because it’s too extreme or “unbelievable” (not a survivor myself but i’ve been reading about RAMCOA systems’ experiences with this). even besides that, system servers in general being inaccessible for a lot of survivors and systems who don’t want to use plural kit or have a system name or whatever. it’s just so! annoying! that i’m so scared to tell people about my disorder or talk about it publicly or even show symptoms of it, because i feel like people are inherently going to doubt me because of how it’s honest to god a trend. and i remember in early 2010s tumblr, it was a trend during that time too, but at least it was relatively contained to tumblr but tik tok is so far reaching. idk maybe i’m an asshole but i just wish people would take it seriously.

i don't think you're an asshole for this. i feel very similarly. i hate when people say "[disorder] isn't a trend!!" when it literally has actually become a trend among people on social media.

people say "DID isn't a trend", but what was that one tag that was trending for a few days straight on twitter? #systemsfordream?

if DID isn't a trend, then how is what's going on online it affecting real world people and their life experiences?

if DID isn't a trend, explain what the hell is going on on tiktok in general.

if DID isn't a trend, explain why all of these people are self diagnosing and armchair diagnosing their friends with DID based on extremely minimal reading and continuing to give genuine self-diagnosers an awful name, and doing anything they can to relate their symptoms to DID.

doubting RAMCOA-related experiences is not new, but yeah--systems that experienced RAMCOA have been shoved out of spaces for having trauma that's "too extreme" to vent about. i hate that shit so much, because people will see people with RAMCOA-related trauma venting about their experiences, and suddenly think these people are playing the trauma olympics when it's literally just their fucking life.

like, sorry some people are trafficking survivors while you survived medical neglect. them talking about their experiences and you feeling uncomfortable with that because it makes you feel like your trauma isn't as bad is not a them problem, it's a you problem, and you need to work through those feelings on your own time. believe it or not, from what i've seen, many survivors of RAMCOA-related abuse struggle with feeling like their trauma was 'enough' as well.

and yeah--tiktok has just. done so much damage to disorders like that. it's not just DID, but also ADHD and autism, both of which they've boiled down to "hyperfixation and special interest disorder", ESPECIALLY when they stomp on and speak over *permanently* non-speaking autistics, or autistics with higher support needs because of their autism, or autistics with cognitive impairments or comorbid learning/intellectual disabilities.

so many syscord servers just fucking suck, because they force you to use pluralkit or have a system name, force littles into one specific chat, etc, but like... bestie how are you going to know a lot of these things if i don't tell you that i've switched, lmao. the normalization of just instantly telling everyone you've switched or when something happens, or over-publicizing your system has and continues to do so much damage to people with DID that have trauma around sharing too much personal information about themselves online, or have had their profiles found by abusers, or similar traumas.

we use aliases online for just about everything *for those exact reasons*.

don't even get me started on the persecutors thing. i've heard more than a few stories about black people with persecutor alters that internally appear white and are racist, but that's "problematic" so people don't like it. i've heard more than a few stories about people with alters that internally reenact abuse in some form, such as an introject of an abusive father that hurts the littles/child parts, but that's "problematic" so people don't like it. i've heard more than a few stories about persecutor alters that try to commit suicide when they front, but that's "problematic" so people don't like it.

the worst part is that these alters aren't given any kind of nuance because they're not treating or understanding them as parts of a whole dissociated consciousness, but rather entirely separate people who are, on their own, wholly responsible for their own actions. people won't look into why a person would have a racist alter, or an alter that reenacts abuse internally, or alters that try to commit suicide, they don't give these alters the benefit of the doubt or think that they might be hurting as well, they just shit on these alters with no reprieve, even when the system is trying to tell them not to do that.

and like, i understand being avoidant towards persecutors and being mean to them because they're reminders of trauma and they're not pretty about it, because they can be scary to see and deal with. but in the end they're just as traumatized as you are, and are dealing with it in unhealthy and destructive ways, and they deserve help, not to be shunned or further abused. even ignoring the fact that that kind of behavior will only make theirs worse, that's really no way to treat a part of yourself who is traumatized and struggling.

i'm just so tired of tiktok and the tiktokification of my disorders, and i'm tired of people acting like it's not happening.

[jaanusbooktalk]

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi - Book Review

9.5/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟

TWs: car accident, cursing, sexism, panic attacks, abandonment

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Summary

“The first time Sana Khan asked out a girl-Rachel Recht--it went so badly that she never did it again. Rachel is a film buff and aspiring director, and she's seen Carrie enough times to learn you can never trust cheerleaders (and beautiful people). Rachel was furious that Sana tried to prank her by asking her on a date.

But when it comes time for Rachel to cast her senior project, she realizes that there's no more perfect lead than Sana--the girl she's sneered at in the halls for the past three years. And poor Sana--she says yes. She never did really get over that first crush, even if Rachel can barely stand to be in the same room as her.

Told in alternative viewpoints and set against the backdrop of Los Angeles in the springtime, when the rainy season rolls in and the Santa Ana's can still blow--these two girls are about to learn that in the city of dreams, anything is possible--even love.”

TL;DR Tell Me How You Really Feel is an ode to romantic comedies, following two girls on opposite sides of the social scale as they work together to make a movie and try very hard not to fall in love. Cheerleader meets film nerd, enemies to lovers.

I found this book through one of those tik tok videos where someone is flinging books off a pile at light speed under a caption “queer SA (South Asian) books you need to read”. I absolutely love those videos, even though they test my screenshotting abilities.

It’s been a while since I updated this blog(?) and that’s because I’ve been very busy finishing out the school year and reading every gay book I could get my hands on over the course of pride month. I will be posting reviews of those books soon, but in a quick review so far this month I’ve read:

• Last Night At The Telegraph Club

• Unearthed (graphic novel)

• Café con Leche

• Eighty Days (graphic novel)

• Tell Me How You Really Feel (this review!)

• The Raven Cycle (yes all 4 books, no I will not be reviewing)

Honorable mention: All 50 episodes of The Untamed (SUCH a good cdrama) & Season 1 of Stranger Things

I’ve realized over the course of this book binge that I prefer my enemies to lovers to have good reasoning - or at least understandable reasoning on both sides. My favorite part is seeing how that can morph into love without either realizing until it’s too late *cue evil laughter*

Tell Me How You Really Feel does that perfectly. I especially loved how it was written - the characters were flawed, raw and dynamic, and the writing style reminded me of books by Nicola Yoon (The Sun is Also a Star, Everything Everything). The romance isn’t necessarily the focus - it’s shoved in on the shelf along with everything else happening in the characters lives. The story simply starts (ish) and ends with the life of their romance within that.

And because this is a gay high school romance between a cheerleader and a film nerd, of course there are a million movie references, from Pakeezah to Pretty in Pink.

Meena Kumari 😩🧎🏽‍♀️

But real quick, let’s talk

Representation

Sana Khan and Rachel Recht, the main characters, are both into women. Although their sexualities aren’t explicitly stated, this part is made very clear.

Sana is desi, and Persian and Indian if I remember correctly? Her family is very mixed and has a lot of languages (Bengali, Urdu, Arabic, Persian, French, etc). She is second-gen American, while I’m pretty sure Rachel is first-gen (at least on her mom’s side).

Rachel is Mexican and Jewish, and her family consists of just her and her father (and their larger community) in comparison to Sana’s many cousins and aunties/uncles. Her full name is Rachel Consuela Recht, which I’m guessing is to show her mixed cultures.

For Sana I can somewhat call this an own voices review on representation, but please keep in mind the Indian (and larger desi community) is not a monolith & we won’t all agree on my own interpretation.

What I really liked about representation for Sana and her family was it is very women-centric. Her grandmother, Mamani, is very clearly the matriarch, and Farrah, Sana’s mom, is a single mother working in the film industry. In western literature desi culture is typically portrayed as oppressing women, especially in Muslim households, but this stereotype is flipped on its head by Sana’s family. It also showed how within a religion certain family members can be more religious than others - Sana & her Mamani are more religious (praying regularly, not drinking, etc) while Farrah is less so - and there’s no negative connotation on it.

Rachel and Sana both engage in religious holidays over the course of the book (Norwuz for Sana, Passover for Rachel). Since I’m neither Muslim or Jewish, it was interesting to learn more about the holidays and how they’re celebrated.

Single parenting rep (Rachel raised by her dad, Sana raised by her mom) was also really good. As someone being raised by a single mom & at one point a single dad, the struggle is portrayed really well.

Finally, I love that Sana fills the character of pretty perfect Gilmore-girls-esque cheerleader. Brown women don’t often get to be portrayed as lovely and soft and also raw and real at the same time. It really hit my heart 💗 Sana’s features are seen as beautiful by everyone around her - like a commonly accepted fact. She’s the official “pretty girl” of her school - and so much more beneath that.

What I Loved:

Aside from the good rep, the way the book is written is just ✨ poetic ✨

“Sana smiled, and suddenly Rachel understood every stupid love poem comparing the beloved to the sun.”

HOW DO I RECOVER??

Mainly though, I think this book came at the right time for me. Sana’s situation was really relatable to me, and her storyline actually helped me figure out some stuff in my own life (no spoilers!)

If you’re worried about the future, or planning to become a doctor or lawyer - read this book.

I’m also a sucker for big movie style gestures so this was a plus. I could see how the book was going to end generally way before the end, and that made it more of a comfort read than an “intellectual” read. I loved the character development as well - some serious words of wisdom in there!

As someone who wants to go to college in LA, and can’t afford to visit, this is as close as it gets to seeing what life there is like for me 😂 I’m curious to see what those Santa Anas feel like!

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

I wasn’t the biggest fan of Rachel’s character to be honest. She hated Sana so much at the beginning, for something that had happened in their freshman year (the story takes place in their senior year). I could understand animosity, but it was another level. It made me think Rachel had anger issues - she seemed really self pitying and insecure. Which would have been fine - I’m all for character development - if she had realized that. But Rachel never seemed to come to terms with the fact that she had treated Sana like sh*t at every turn for nearly 4 years. It’s not that they don’t fall in love (this is a love story) but she doesn’t really feel remorseful for how she acted.

On set, when she’s directing the crew, the way she treated them reminded me of Michael Scott from the Office 😭

I also wish there had been more focus on the other characters in the book. Farrah, Sana’s mom, and Daniel, Rachel’s dad, kind of felt like glorified plot devices, especially near the end. Same goes for Diesel, Sana’s so-called best friend. We don’t actually see a lot of their relationship aside from Diesel giving her rides from school and then playing video games with her. In the end, his purpose was also a little plot device-y, a little serving the main ship, etc.

I liked that Diesel subverted the dumb insensitive jock trope, but I would have loved to see more of him and Maddie (another cheerleader)!

^unrelated but I love this scene (very scary cheerleader)

Overall, the book was a satisfying beach read (as in, I literally read it on the beach). Feel good, decent character development (on Sana’s part), and it gave me something I’d really been searching for: an enemies to lovers story between queer women of color in high school. Like babe- this is my niche!!

And yes, I cried at the end.

I sincerely recommend to fans of:

The Sun is Also A Star

Everything Everything

Movies (if you’re a movie nerd, you’re going to get wayy more of these references than I did)

But I’m A Cheerleader (movie)

Sense 8 (show) especially if you like the wlw couple

Most of my reviews for this month are going to be LGBTQ+ stories between PoC 🏳️‍🌈 so stay tuned!

[ushiluv]

Gambling and Babies 

soon to be father!bokuto x pregnant!reader 

gender reveal and gambling uncles (wc: 1475)

warnings 

none! pure fluff (except kuroo being a filthy capitalist)

note from the author 

i apologize if this is messy, i've never been to a baby shower before i just got the idea after watching a tik tok and felt like writing about it after baby fever hit me like a train. please let me know if i can improve anything about it <3 

“Are you sure everything is ready?”

Akaashi was beyond nervous. Planning a baby shower for his best friend’s first born child was not something he ever saw himself doing, but how could he have passed upon the opportunity after seeing how excited Bokuto was at the idea of having one?

Obviously, you and your dear husband had no idea about the whole event, at least not until a few days ago. Atsumu ringed you both up to tell you about Akaashi’s surprise and told you to clear out your schedule for that day. You hadn’t seen Bokuto that excited since the day he got married to you in front of his (old and current) volleyball team and direct family. Quite frankly, the whole idea was also a surprise to you- you did mention wanting to have one once or twice at the beginning of your pregnancy but you didn’t expect anyone to actually follow through with the idea.

“Yes, stop stressing. Bokuto and Y/N are on their way already.” Hinata tried his best to calm Akaashi down, but the dark haired man still couldn’t stop fidgeting with his fingers. He wanted everything to be perfect, literally.

He kept walking around the big garden, recounting the balloons and making sure the amount was the exact same for the blue and pink ones.

23, 24, 25… alright, 1, 2…

“IS THIS ALL FOR US?”

Bokuto’s loud voice turned everyone’s head toward you two. He started looking at the place with stars in his eyes- literally, while you greeted the people who were invited. Some congratulated you, some hugged you and others were inviting you to bet with them on the gender of the baby.

“Thanks, but I’ll pass.” you said with a smile on your face. You didn’t really care that much about the gender of the baby and neither did Bokuto; both of you were ready for any of the outcomes possible, you just wanted the baby to be healthy. And with how your pregnancy was going so far, that’s not something you were worried about.

After thanking a few more guests for coming, you were making your way to Bokuto who was chatting with Akaashi.

Bokuto was clenching Akaashi’s shirt, telling him something with the pouty voice he used on you when you told him no a few too many times. “... promise I won’t tell her.”

“For the last time, Bokuto-san, I will not tell you the gender of the baby. You’ll have to find out later.”

“Kou, baby, you’re not causing Keiji trouble, are you?”

Bokuto straightened his back up at the sound of your voice and ran to you, quickly wrapping his arm around your waist.

“No, babe we were just playing, I was actually thanking him for putting up everything together.” Bokuto gave you a small peck on the temple.

You moved to take Akaashi’s hand in yours, “Oh, yeah Keiji this really means a lot, thank you so much.”

“It’s really nothing,” he went back to fidgeting with his hands, “I’m just glad you guys like it.”

You chuckle at the sight of the little habit he’s had since your high school days, it felt kind of nostalgic to see a part of the old him. Akaashi has been with you and Bokuto since the beginning, he’s actually the one who helped your husband confess his little crush on you back in high school. Seeing how far you three have gone was enough to water your lower lash line.

“You okay?” Bokuto asked, “We’re gonna pop the balloon soon, do you want me-”

You cut him off, “I’m perfect.” You cupped his cheeks to bring your lips together in a kiss. “Let’s go see what gender our child is.”

Bokuto nooded took your hand in his and kissed the back of it, something he’s always loved doing.

“No matter the gender, they’re gonna turn out to be the greatest volleyball player in Japan- No! The whole world!”

“With you as their father, I don’t doubt it at all.”

Bokuto and you stood in front of the table full of gifts. You were glad that Akaashi only invited your closest friends because you weren’t sure how to act in front of a too big audience.

“Bet it’s a boy” Atsumu said with a few money bills in hand.

“And I’m telling you it’s a girl!” Meian replied.

Chatters among the small crowd regarding your unborn child’s gender started taking up place. Atsumu and Meian had unexpectedly started a whole debate.

“Will you two lower it down? They’re going to pop the balloon.” Sakusa said before rolling his eyes at the antics of his capitan and teammate.

“WAIT, THE CAMERA” a panicked Hinata sprinted across the garden with a small camera and tripod in hand. “Don’t start without the camera.”

Meian moved to help him set up the whole thing, hoping it would save everyone some time. “What were you doing all this time?”

Hinata didn’t say anything and looked behind his back where a smiling Kuroo with yen bills in his hands could be seen. He put the money in his front pocket and joined the rest of the group.

“Come on guys let’s not waste any more time.” he said, hoping to get the attention off of him for a second.

Hinata hit play on the camera and everything from there started rolling. Akaashi gave you and Bokuto the large black floating balloon, not before congratulating you too one last time.

Large needle in hands, you started noticing how much you were shaking. “You pop it or I pop it?” you asked your husband.

“You pop it, I’m too nervous.”

“As if I aren’t.” you mumbled under your breath. “Let’s do it together?”

Bokuto eagerly nodded before wrapping his free hand over yours, the other was holding the string, stopping the balloon from escaping the party. The gesture calmed you down a bit, it was like a little reminder that you were definitely not in this alone. He has always been with you and will always be, he had promised, after all, and Bokuto would rather die than break a promise he’s made to you.

He leaned down slightly to kiss your cheek. “Okay 1, 2...3”

At the count of three, blue papers exploded from the balloon, leaving you and Bokuto speechless for a second. Tears started blurring your vision when you felt your husband’s arm around you, jumping up and down, not being able to contain his excitement anymore. He gave you a loud kiss on the mouth before joining his friend group who were all yelling and screaming about some were right and others were wrong. You were, yourself, quickly surrounded by a few people who bragged about knowing it already because Mom’s sense, Oh no it was just easy to tell, Actually women pregnant with boys- you lost count of the explanation they came up with you. You were just really happy to know that you and Bokuto would be welcoming a little boy to the world in the next few months.

After the excitement being calmed down, you joined Bokuto who was still chatting with some of his teammates. You could hear some of them complain about the money they’ve lost and it made you giggle.

As soon as the whole celebration was over and after cleaning everything up, you Bokuto and Akaashi went for a car ride like the good old days (in Bokuto’s words).

“We’re adults now” Bokuto sighed as he rubbed your belly with one hand and stirred the wheel with the other.

You laughed at his sudden realization. “Did it take you a whole baby to figure that?”

“Yeah,” he said dreamily “I’m just really glad I get to experience this with you, you know?”

“Me too, wouldn't experience it with anyone else.” you took his hand from your belly in yours and kissed his knuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Gosh you guys are as sappy as you were in high school.” Akaashi mumbled from the backseat.

You quickly turn around to give your good friend a small smack on the knee.

“It’s all your fault Akaashi!”

He laughed and leaned back in his seat, admiring the sunset that could be seen from his window. “Yeah, and I would do it again.”

bonus

“You said you knew the gender!” an angry Hinata was scolding Kuroo.

“I said I’m eighty-five percent sure of the gender, it’s just bad luck that it landed on the fifteen percent remaining!”

Hinata rubbed his face, trying to make the math in his head “Give me back my money at least.”

“Can’t do that.” Kuroo yawned, “That’s just how business works.” he pat Hinata’s head before walking away, leaving the small red head trying to figure out if he really got scammed or not.

[prof-peach]

Hi Professor! I'm a long time fan of your work and helpful advice. I'm super curious on where you stand with trainers keeping a Shaymin as a companion/ on their team. I know having legendary mons can be dicey (and not safe in some cases, let's be honest). But Shaymin seems super docile. I can see them being super great to have around for trainers who love gardening. I guess what I'm wondering is if Shaymin is a legendary that shouldn't be captured/ owned by trainers!

Sure, I can see the appeal, they’re a cute pokemon, super small for what they are, and relatively tough in battle.

This however doesn’t change my advice, I wouldn’t keep one, at least not in a pokeball, registered or logged into a computer, or with any geographical information. Poachers will come for it. They always do, and registering them means there’s a physical record of their location, so they’ll hack the info, and track it down. Villains don’t play fair, they’ll get to them one way or another. It’s partially why we believe shaymin migrate, they’re not the strongest, and so this keeps them not only on the move from predators, but also they do a vital job for many locations by promoting growth and vitality in otherwise quite barren locations. Many believe the Pokemon migrates to already beautiful flowering areas, but upon closer inspection, we know they only stop into these locations to collect seed for the next move. They use these already beautiful places to stockpile, then go ahead to sow that seed elsewhere. Around 70% of their pit stops will be to locations that lack flowers (and thus food for local wildlife) to repopulate it. Statistically they’re more likely to visit areas that were once messy and unloved, that get a clean up. So fly-tipping areas that get cleaned are a regular place to see suddenly covered in blooms. They’re not big enough for the shaymin to stay long, before they hop to the next site of rest.

When a shaymin migrates, often in a group of between 2-6, they eventually find a new field. Those they visit will break into magnificent bloom, flowers sprouting and growing in a seemingly impossible way at first. While they spend time in one field of flowers, they collect seed, stashing it in their leafy cloaks, ready to disperse in the next location. Once the seed has been dispersed, they use their powers to accelerate growth. It’s such a fast process, it went unnoticed for a long time. Especially with the rarity of the species, it just wasn’t documented until very recently.

It’s because of this that I don’t advise these Pokemon are kept. They account for a long of the environments health, and often in captivity wilt and die far quicker, being unable to partake in their social and habitual behaviours.

That being said, if they’re a free Pokemon, and they just hang about with you because they like you? Well heck man that’s just lucky and you shouldn’t worry too much, just don’t let loads of people see them. Try not to post a tik-tok of it falling into its water bowl all cute like or something haha! Not everyone is kind, so be safe.

Care tips. Low humidity, fresh water, mist before bed, looooooots of sun. These suckers can take the heat! Nanab suits best for their flowers as snacks, watch their leaf colour, changes will indicate needs, for example, more iron or nitrogen may be needed if they get blotchy pale leaves.

I’m not saying keep it, but if it’s free and sticks around, what you gonna do, right? It may just migrate minimally and keep returning to you to chill.

They are the only legend I’ve worked close-ish with, and so my final note. You mentioned how they seem super docile. They are in fact not all like this, can confirm they bite, they’re escape artists, they scratch, got a real harrowing, bone chilling scream on them too, really cuts through you, makes it hard to focus on anything. Dunno what that’s about but they all can do this, leaves you dizzy for a bit if you spend too long listening. One of the other researchers working intensively hat project didn’t have their sound cancelling headphones on right, passed out after a few minutes working with the screams. It sounds like we put them through pain. No no. We simply weighed them, and did short, reasonably fast examinations to gather data, then let them go. The SECOND you don’t have your hands on them, they stop it. As if it never happened just mosey off. Complete fools. Plus we’re sleeping on the fact that there perfectly capable of attacks, just as every Pokemon is. Cute cannot be misinterpreted as harmless, all trainers must remember, their partners are still Pokemon, all of them, be it a rattata, or an entei, can do serious damage to others. I mean, have you seen a happiny? Have you seen how much they can lift despite their small cute appearance? All species can be docile, but also all species have defence and offence methods to survive. Must be effective if they’re still around right?

[aims-at-skies]

HELLA LONG VILLANOS RANT PRO/CON

Anyone else tired of checking the villanos/villainous tag on here only to be met with unpopular opinions of it? Everyone has a right to their own opinion and on some things I agree. But HS, the criticisms boil down to a couple of things.

1. It wasn't what some people were expecting. Or rather it wasn't what they wanted it to be and are giving Alan and crew flack about it. (Its basically the WandaVision theorists upset that their predictions weren't canon)

2. Nitpicky stuff they dont like, like comparing characters' color tones from them and now, background shades, the insta story lines, parodying tik tok egirls, etc.

3. The misunderstanding of just how hard this project was hit to begin with, from it being made for CNLA (not even an American property, the fact that it got to be included in V&V and the CN Nexus special is huge for what they're working with), to not comprehending how economic situations are just flat out different in Mexico than in the U.S. and literally any job there is bound have something like that (even trying to explain they know better. They don't) not to mention the pandemic threw it all off schedule. The fact its still being worked on is a miracle at this point.

4. Ultimately it is a probs that they're just impatient at this point and just want to harshly criticize to distance themselves as publicly as they can and not set themselves up for disappointment.

This is not a hate post, in fact I'm just as impatient and agree on some points (particularly the length of time it takes and how the original crew was let go.) Theres a lot more stuff going on behind the scenes

But the two absolutely, most annoying things are the constant comparisons it gets to Vivziepop's works like they're a cut better in general or as proof that a series has to be like hers. To which can be easily argued that Helluva Boss is the equivalent of the Orientation videos. In which they're not the big BIG project, but a side thing meant to introduce the world at large for Villanos and Hazbin. I've seen people say that Villainous hasn't had any original footage which is total bs, because compiling all the shorts, pilot, crossovers, promotional material, secretive material, and the orientarion videos themselves clearly knock that point down.

And secondly that these criticisms have been used to turn speculations on the behind the scenes going ons into flat out lies, as if having parts of the story or even an idea of it and making it seem like the worst alternative is the only conclusion. There was an initial account, Nightfur I believe, that did the same thing except made themselves only making positive spins on the going ons which I admit is hella weird, but Petite is essentially doing the same thing on the opposite spectrum of it and honestly equally self righteous.

I'm not saying they don't have a right to their opinions, and to a certain extent, the fact that Petite's opinions are currently the what pops up most on the Villanos tag really speaks on the lack of Villainous content so on the time management she has point. I am just saying that she doesn't have to ruin it for everyone else with (my opinion) weak hot-take criticisms.

Honestly this rant comes from a place where I do enjoy what the series has so far. Not just in the personalities of the characters, but the comedy, the fact that its a Mexican made series (which one of this size has not existed on CN, idk what others they claim exist: El Tigre and Mucha Lucha were American Studio made), the little puzzles that can be deciphered in Spanish which I like that they were that way in the beginning but can accept its going to inevitably include English too. I like this phase of pre-series decoding and deciphering, and not having to full picture yet because I want to enjoy and learn about the lore in this story bit by bit. And many do to. Others don't like it thats fine and have every right to dislike the series and make their own conclusions on what happens behind the scenes.

The rest of us are just gonna keep vibin with clues, updates, and the existing content until the show drops. I have high hopes for it. I mean OTGW took a longer time to make and become what it ultimately ended up being and don't even get me started on the Gravity Falls and Steven Universe Hiatus'.

Other than that yea. This has been held in for a while but eh just had to vent and let it out. Feels better. Have a good one.

[happytroopers]

In Another Life // Jedi! Reader x Wolffe

Uhhh, hi again. As per usual inspiration struck as I was watching tik Tok so I wrote this in one go on my bathroom floor lmao 

basically: Reader is a Jedi trying to sort through some unjedi like thoughts about a certain Commander. Very dramatic, definitely needs to hold a damn hand. Jedi.exe stops working at the thought 

warnings: mentions of gun/ GSW’s, blood, unrequited(?), two idiots with the combined emotional maturity of grapefruit

__________

Close your eyes... deep breath... don’t think about what could have been... open your eyes... 

Upon reopening, your tired eyes examined the inky black void of space through the view port. There was a certain beauty in the simplicity of empty space that gave you some semblance of peace after such a hectic battle- the deep black velvet with pin pricks of pure starlight to interrupt the darkness, the idea of far off systems of planets teeming with mundane life as if other planets weren’t collapsing into war ravaged debris piles. 

Once again you closed your eyes again to recenter yourself, another deep breath was lost to the usual dull chatter of the bridge as your lightsaber seemed to weigh down you hip more than usual. 

You looked back to the stars, ignoring your own dim reflection in the transperisteel. This time you let your mind wander back to these unbothered planets, much like the one you were born on before being taken to the temple. You didn’t really remember your family- you often wondered if you had siblings, older or younger, were your parents kind, did you take after your mother or more after your father... what would you be doing if your were still with them? Perhaps you’d be in the workforce instead of a War General, maybe married to a someone who had grown up in the same town as you, would you have children? 

An unwelcome flash of a well known face caused your mind to run with it. Letting your mind manifest a kind of mental holovid showing you a life you didn’t and could never have. 

In this daydream you watched a version of yourself stumble through life, this version softer and more carefree without deadly weapons strapped to you or armor weighing down your light steps. Had this version of you ever even been wounded? Fought any battle? Surely this version of you hadn’t comforted dying soldiers and made tough battle calls, your eyes seemed too bright. Another figure appeared in your mind, even your physical form relaxed, Wolffe, the man you’d come to love despite your determination not to.... 

Even in this daydream where he was sans armor and unscarred, you’d always be able to pick him out of a crowd. He gave ‘softer-you’ a small smile before gingerly kissing their forehead. They/you relaxed into the gesture even with so many people bustling around- clearly you never had to worry about the consequences of your attachments. Normal people didn’t have to, being in love was a natural as the rivers of Naboo.

The image changed, their was a ring on your finger as your hands cupped Wolffe’s face for a sweet kiss. People who almost looked like you- family you supposed- clapped and cheered as Wolffe escorted you down the aisle. A wedding, normal people get married. 

Another image, this time of a large hand rested against a bulbous stomach- your round stomach. Wolffe was smiling proudly before he kissed the top of your head. Normal people have kids. 

You smiled softly at the cookie-cutter life you had come up with in a matter of minutes- an entire life planned out with a man you’d never dare tell your feelings to much less act on them. A true relationship, friends, marriage, houses, kids, jobs- no code or regulations, blaster fire or duels... Normalcy.

"What do you see out there, General?" A sudden voice shocked you out of your reverie. You jumped, startled, not used to people being able to sneak up on you. Suddenly your cheeks were red (a new phenomenon since you had met the commander of the 104th) as your eyes met one amber eye and one cybernetic eye- both trying to hide the amusement at your reaction.

"Wolffe, I thought I told you to call me (Y/N)." You tried to keep your tone even as your forced yourself to turn your gaze back to the view port. Allowing him to call you by your name was as far as your were willing to involve him in your forbidden delusions of romance. 

"Sorry, si- (Y/N), I...didn’t mean to startle you." He apologized, his tone almost questioning. He truly hadn’t meant to, usually he couldn’t even if he wanted to- typically you could feel his force signature from across the cruiser. "Are you alright?"

"Just too tangled up in my thoughts." You mused, already mentally shredding the daydream as if that would also purge the relentless fluttering in your stomach, "Besides, I should be asking you that. I thought you were in the medbay being treated for a blaster wound." 

That was another truth, you were under the impression that Wolffe was injured and probably arguing with whatever poor medic was ordering bedrest. And while the commander’s injury was probably the root source of your silent identity crisis, that was why you were so comfortable creating fantasies in the open space of the bridge- most of the other soldier’s actively avoided any Jedi when they had that vague, aloof face on (for fear of existential riddles and other ‘mystical drivel’ Jedi were known to hand out). Wolffe, however, never seemed to mind approaching you- even if all you had to offer was cheap wit and Jedi proverbs. If you had known he’d won the argument with the medic, you would have gone off to "mediate" in your quarters. 

You allowed yourself to give him a once over, noting the bandages peeking out from under his deck officer’s uniform (you knew how much he hated that uniform, so you figured the medic confiscated his armor until he was cleared for duty). Wolffe shrugged, stiffly rotating his left shoulder as if to show you he was fine, "I’ve had worse."

You couldn’t help the half scoff, half chuckle that escaped you before you steadied your gaze back on the stars. You had seen him with worse- in the middle of battle with shrapnel wounds but still clawing his way to victory, stealthily mowing threw droids with a concussion during a rescue mission, blood dripping out a half cauterized lightsaber wound to his eye after you and Plo Koon forced Asajj off of him and he still managed to push through it to yell orders into his comms unit. Yes, of course, you’d seen him with worse, but that didn’t erase the worry you felt when you were informed that he’d been shot in the middle of that day’s battle. It didn’t erase the pain you felt in the force through your connection with him, nor did it erase the feeling of rage and vengeance that you had to push out of your mind for the rest of the fight. 

Instead of voicing any of those thoughts, you simply hummed in acknowledgment, contenting yourself with being near him. Even unaware of your affection, his mere presence was calming. As usual, the Commander didn’t mind your silence, giving you the same once over your gave him before mirroring your position. He stood comfortably by your side, eyes searching for whatever you were staring at as he informed you, "I was told that General Plo Koon has been cleared for active duty again, effective as soon as we arrive back to Coruscant."

You nodded calmly, you had been told this too. Your time with the 104th as their interim general was coming to a close. Three months hadn’t seemed like that long until the report had put it in perspective for you- and yet three months was all it took for you to break a lifetime of teaching on the dangers of attachments. Probably for the best that you wouldn’t be around Wolffe on the daily, you could rededicate yourself to the Jedi lifestyle (even if now you realized you had never been quite adjusted to it anyway). 

"I’m sure the Wolffe pack will be happy to have him back." Was all you said on the matter. Wolffe nodded before sparing you another glance.

"They will, but they’ll miss you too." He told you. You met his gaze and almost flinched at the amount of sincerity you found there. When he said they, you could only wonder... hope that he also meant he would miss you. The two of you held the stare for longer than you should have allowed with all of the other deck officer’s mulling about- you were sure someone was probably watching and wondering what was going on between the two of you (the answer was nothing, for better or for worse, but the last thing you needed was rumors floating about). As if Wolffe was thinking along the same lines, he cleared his throat before adding on, "They like having you around; they say your not like other Jedi."

‘Other Jedi’ (and you had a few in mind) would have taken offense to that, probably reprimanded the Commander for addressing them so casually followed by a scolding about how it doesn’t matter if the men like or don’t like having them around. 

You just breathed a quiet laugh, thinking to yourself, "So they think so too."

Another silence fell over the pair of you, as you both pretended not to sneak peripheral glances at each other. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t keep those daydreams from filling your head as you stood there. Instead of the viewport, you lowered you gaze to the floor hoping to appear as if your were deep in thought. This kept you from looking at Wolffe’s face, which was probably for the best, but now in our peripheral your eyes landed on his hand. It was relaxed by his side, long fingers idly grazing the seam of his trousers- usually, in his armor, he’d be wearing gloves but in this uniform his copper skin stood out against the gray, dim metal landscape of the bridge. In another life, you’d easily take his hand, see how it felt in yours- was his skin soft or calloused, would your fingers interlock or would your hands press together, would his hands be warm, would he seek out your touch as well? But in this life, you tore your gaze away from his hand- grateful for the long sleeves of your cloak the his your hands as they clenched into fists to ground yourself to this reality. 

Before you could completely shove the idea out of your head, an invitation spilled out of your lips, "I’m going to the mess, if you’d like to join. That is, if you haven’t already eaten?"

Wolffe seemed pleasantly surprised at the offer- one you hadn’t made in a week or so after your effort to avoid him when possible (not that he knew that was the reason), "Lead the way, General."

Despite his words, Wolffe, as he always did, kept easy stride beside you. Whereas any other trooper or any Jedi that was younger than you would fall behind you, and any Jedi that outranked you would walk in front of you- he was always directly beside you. A simple gesture, though it was, seemed like a monument- and it was never something he or you asked or talked about. He just fell instep with you because it felt right for him to be there. It was nice to have someone to walk side by side through life with, even for a short time. Sometimes, you’d find yourself instinctively looking up for him even when he wasn’t around- and being sad when you didn’t find him. 

"Uh, General?" You vaguely heard as you continued to chew on your lip, not even considering someone was calling to you until it was followed up with a slightly more forceful, "(Y/N)!"

You snapped out of your thoughts immediately at the sound of your name, looking instinctively to your side for Wolffe, but he wasn’t there. Your head swiveled in confusion only to find him several paces back, staring after you. Absentmindedly, you wondered why he stopped as you halted yourself waiting for him to catch up. He didn’t move, instead gesturing to the door he stopped in front of, "... The mess? Isn’t that where we were going?"

Instantly, that pesky flush crept back to your cheeks. You were so caught up in your thoughts about Wolffe the you had not only left him behind, but also forgot what you were doing. Shuffling back to him, you tried to get your voice steady, "Right, right, yes, apologies."

Wolffe watched you carefully as you avoided his gaze, carding the doors open. If you didn’t know him, you wouldn’t have heard the concern in his voice when he asked, "Are you sure you’re alright, gen- (Y/N)?" 

You gave him a soft smile and a nod in an attempt to convince him, but he simply raised an eyebrow in return- clearly not swayed by the meager display. Any other day you would have argued with him, assuring him you were ok, but now you didn’t trust your voice not to raise several octaves. 

And besides, you most definitely were not alright. Your time with the 104th was coming to a close, and you were trying to convince you slowly breaking heart that it was a good thing. ____

perhaps a pt 2? 

[chibsytelford]

Anon asked // Can I get a HC of the tiktok challenge “if we get a divorce, what 3 things are you taking with you” for the Mayans? (Angel, EZ, Coco, and Bishop)?

A/N - okay I don't have/do Tiktok so had to YouTube this and I found it hilarious 😂😂😂

Angel -

You were fairly new to tik tok and you were desperate to try new pranks out on Angel

Your favourite one was the "if we get divorced, what 3 things are you taking with you" challenge

You decided to try it when Angel climbed into bed for the night

"Angel, if we got a divorce, what 3 things would you take with you?" You innocently asked him as you secretly videod it on your phone

You saw his body shake before you heard the laughter leaving his mouth

"That's hilarious querida, we aren't getting a divorce"

"Just answer the question please" you begged him

He turned around to face you

"Fine, I would take half of everything" he huffed

"What about if we had kids?"

"Then we are fucking cutting the kids in half and taking half of them each" he said rolling his eyes

"You wouldn't divorce me anyway" he smirked

"Why?" You questioned

"Because you would miss this too much" he gestured to his body

He was right, you would miss it too much

EZ -

"Babe, if we got divorced which 3 things would you take with you?" You innocently asked as you and EZ were having dinner

"I'm so glad you brought divorce up first" EZ said so casually with a shrug

His answer made you choke on the food you were eating

"Be serious Ezekiel and answer the question"

"I was being serious. I didn't wanna be the one to bring it up so I'm glad you did" he replied

"Come on Ezekiel, you're not actually being serious are you?" You questioned, looking at his face to see if it was a prank

"Si" was all he said. He was surprised he was keeping a straight face as the look on your face made him want to laugh

You put down your fork immediately and looked at him - "why?"

"I just wanna get divorced" he said, again so casually

"Oh." You were trying to fight back the tears that were pooling up in your eyes

"I'm only messing querida, you can't prank me!" He shouted coming around the table to give you a cuddle

"We ain't ever getting divorced babe. Who would I prank if we did?" He reassured you as you tried to stop yourself from hitting him

Coco -

Coco hated Tiktok

Purely because you had pranked him far too many times for his liking

He didn't know when you were messing or being serious and it fucked with his mind

You decided to try the newest trend that was floating around tiktok

"If we got divorced, what 3 things would you take with you?" You asked your husband as he was washing his motorbike

"My ass to the strip club" he answered with a massive smirk on his face

"Coco!" You threw a wet rag at him and it splashed him in the face

"Be serious" you told him

"I would definitely take my bike. I love it more than you anyway" he shrugged

You were annoyed that Coco wasn't being possessive and falling for the prank, instead he knew his answers would annoy you

"Please Coco, do it for the Tiktok" you gave him your best puppy dog eyes

"Fine. I would only take my motorbike as I would need to leave the house. I would leave you everything else niña because the only thing I need is you" he said.

You looked at him with so much adoration

"My coco can be cute" you said as you ruffled his hair

Bishop -

Your husband didn't like being pranked

By his brothers or you or anyone for that matter

You were bored at home one day and decided to mess with your husband at work

You had a friend who was a lawyer so you got her to make some fake divorce papers for you

You headed to the clubhouse with the papers in your hand and found Bishop sitting at the table joined but Taza, Hank and Riz

The other Mayans were dotted around the clubhouse

Angel was in on it, he was the only one brave enough to accept the 'mission'

He saw you enter and immediately walked over to you, throwing his hand around your shoulder

You walked over to Bishop together like that and you placed the 'divorce' papers down infront of him

"I want a divorce Bish. Pick 3 things you want to take with you and I'll have the rest" you put your arm around Angels waist

"What the fuck is this?" He spat as he gestured to you and Angel

"I've found someone better" you shrugged

You had never seen someone so angry before

Bishop may be smaller than Angel but he managed to knock Angel on the ground and land a few punches on him

"Babe it's a prank!" You shouted to Bishop who looked like he was going to murder Angel

Your comment made him stop and stare at you and then realisation hit him

You had managed to successfully prank him and he wasn't happy

"Get your ass home right now. I'll deal with you later" was all he said as he went into the Templo and slammed the door shut

You knew it would take a lot of making up to do for Bishop to forgive you

You knew he wouldn't appreciate the prank but you didn't expect him to take it so seriously

"Sorry Angel, let me patch you up" you said as you went looking for the first aid box

"Nah querida I'm good, go and apologize and love your man" he said with a slight smile and a shake of his head

Taglist - @everyhowlmarksthedead @rebel-without-cause-x @sadeyesgf @blessedboo @sheeshgivemeabreak @starrynite7114 @gemini0410 @angelxshiba @angelreyesgirl @jadesamhart @fangirlingaesthetics @destynelseclipsa @minnicelli @i-love-scott-mccall @thewarriorprincessxo @trulysuccubus @elcococruz @scuzmunkie @lady-pswrld @thisishowdynastiesareborn @peaches007 @itsamedeemoney @talicat713

[thesleepy1]

Spearmint Tea With A Teaspoon Of Milk And A Dash Of Honey

Tik Tok Writing Prompt

A/N: I saw this prompt on Tik Tok and have been thinking about it none stop for the past three days. I just had to write it. It may make no sense, but that's fine. I enjoyed the writing process for once. Completely unbeta'd because I'm lazy and this was written in a hurry before it left my mind. If you see any mistakes please let me know.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdVg7jBL/

Pairings: No pairings

Summary: “You have been an immortal for a couple of centuries now. Today, you’re enjoying a drink at a nearby cafe, when someone approaches you and says, “Hey, remember me? Peru, 1821?”

Word count: 2,578

Warnings: mature, suggestive themes, wump, angst, derealizion, mentions of depression, more warnings to be added,

You have been an immortal for a couple of centuries now; if not more. After a certain set of rotations around the sun, you hardly bothered to keep track of exactly how many times you’ve been around the block. You were something of a myth, a feared, terrified, creature of torn legend, a monster that stole little weaning babes from their mother’s arms and spun silver out of corn! A beast that ate beating livers from stray canines, ordered temples to be built out of bones, a ghastly creation by a bored god with too much time on his irreligious hands. Frightful!

All this hearsay and word of the street, were tall and monstrous tales that were overrated in your educated opinion, when simply you required very little to be content with the ways and whims of the vast, wanton world. No new born lamb’s blood or poor, ill timed virgins sacrifices were necessary in your, for lack of a better word, creation. You were merely one breathing thing and then the next; though you’ve fallen out of the habit of remembering to breathe after a while. There was no shedding of skin, sweat producing prayer, or historically inaccurate rain dance that resembled the pirouettes of toeless ballerinas involved. You just were, and quite frankly, isn’t that enough? Existence is never enough is it, though? You just had to think, and speak, and do much more than simply exist; because no one can be happy with the mere existence of another; there just had to be more to it, had to be.

You still vaguely recall the moment where you realized that you were no longer tied down to the laws of the cycle of the unnatural thing called life; a thing like a dream someone else had and merely inflicted you with the useless knowledge. Still having no need for surplus of red blood cells or hastily made offerings of sweets to the traumatized gods; you recalled the transition and the fact that it was a boring process, with no set of rules, or instructions, or any way for you to fully understand exactly what happened. From one form of existence to a new one, like a crawling larvae to a flying insect with big beady eyes and a habit of crashing into windows.

You were in a battle field one moment fighting tooth and nail with a long sword, or a bow and arrow, or a scythe from your own garden, or a hatchet from your home; and the next, you watched your substantially short life flash before your eyes; when ebbingly, you realized that your wounds had closed up and the battle had unbeknown to you, ended. Something over nineteen years after your self assumed death, that is. Your body; with its two legs, two arms, two ears, and two perfectly functioning eyes; as long as it wasn’t pollen season, were still by fair means or foul, in tack. Much to your dismay, for you still felt cursed plague such as irritation, displeasurement, the action of rolling your eyes as an emotion, annoyance, exasperation, and worst of all a hankering for spearmint tea with a teaspoon of milk and a dash of honey. Unfortunately, only one of which was curable.

And while you contained a great many vapid opinions of the flutterings of wingless avians; one of their creations you could never develop a disdain for, for they were simply far too grand, great, and good, were cafes. Magnificent things created by an italian man, a french man, a german man, an Englishman, or a combination of the four, you hardly cared; were the very reason you still wished to see the light of day. Candidly, the comfort that came with cafes; roasting coffee beans with such sharp and acidic aromas, the tinkering of ceramic mugs with adorable little glazes, scrumptious sweeties and colorful pasties that settled against your mind like ringing gunshots to war torn innocent unimpeachables. Cafes were just delightful, there were no two ways about it; an unassailable fact.

That was why, today; sunny, cloudless, and boundless today with skies as blue as incest mutated eyes, you were enjoying a nostalgic drink at a nearby cafe. The coffee house was a mix between modern and vintage, though for a creature such as yourself, you could hardly tell the difference. Their teas and coffees, and assortment of beverages were made in the classic fashion from even as far back as your day, and that was saying something. The walls were painted with a deep maroon, a shade of fine wine on a brick of vinegar; except one, which was left a bare, textured concrete with growing vines and dangling fairy lights the color of loose leaf chamomile offering a soothing dim lighting. The tables and chairs and any sort of decor hung up on the ways were mismatched, not one thing belonging to another; not one round mahogany table with spanish carved to the legs matched with any neon cushioned seats that looked like something from a feverish dream. Four paned windows were like eyes towards the street front, small enough to see outside but with an air of privacy from the delicate handmade lace curtains that were tied up with a sash of the same design. You could see the wayward world beyond the door from the faux safety of your table; couples biking with helmets strapped on too tightly, dog walkers with malnourished dogs, and a quartet of friends that were so obviously in love with one another.

Their love for each other was so clear, the baristas behind the repurposed bar counter were making bets on who would be the first to cave and spill out their love like guts from a deep heat, blistering sword wound. The barista with dyed gray cornrows and nose piercings betted ten pounds on the tallest of the quartet, who couldn’t stop playing with something in his pocket; a nervous reaction to being around the people of his affections if you had to guess. The barista with the rigid scars falling like uncrossed tallies down her arms betted twenty pounds on the shortest of the quartet who seemed to be the glue holding the quartet together in the first place. You personally betted on the fellow trailing the group from behind, a brother of one of the quartet members; from the shared features, and an ex lover of another if you had to predict from the way he walked and looked at them with an unhealthy yearning. He was going to pull them apart and in return be left with nothing as they rebuilt what he had destroyed. You had an intuition for these sorts of things, the passing lives of strangers and what they decided to do with themselves with their limited time. It was game to you, their lives seemed to end in days like a good book that you can’t set down; and like a book, you could flip it close at any given time with a flick of your wrist.

Your attention was drawn back to the present by the sound of the cafe bell that rang out through the small room with high ceilings, the simple pulley system alerting the baristas and yourself of a new occupant. Your hand instinctively wrapped around your cup of spearmint tea with a teaspoon of milk and a dash of honey protectively. The heated ceramic warmed your otherwise cold skin, your whole body was icy to the touch; you had no need for impractical things like a respiratory system or body heat; they were merely things you did when you remembered to, a delayed afterthought.

Like socialization for one, speaking to others was not your cup of tea; quick compliments and orders were one thing, however holding conversations were another. You sat alone at your seat, a red velvet cushioned sofa pulled up against a square oak table. Not once have you attempted to make conversation or even make eye contact with any of your fellow cafe goers; when you know for a fact that you would have gotten along swimmingly, only you’re too afraid of starting anything that’s doomed to end. The immortal existence was a long one and it tended to feel more drawn out when you had no one to spend it with.

Too deep in thoughts; the depressing thing the living chose to lose themselves in; a subject that you have yet to be rid of, you didn’t notice when someone approached your table. Whoever stood in front of you stared at you for a moment as if to make sure you were real, something you had to do for yourself every now and again, before saying in an astonished tone full of life, “Hey, you look familiar. I’ve seen you somewhere, haven’t I?” You looked up to meet their eyes; taking note of a face that could blend in during any time period, during any moment; a dime a dozen, a face that could be recognized for hundreds of others. “Remember me? Peru, 1821?”

You were hard of memory despite the centuries of existence in your pocket; unable to ever recall important dates and places, or those deemed important by those who still pondered what after truly meant. No wars that had cost thousands if not millions of lives lingered in your narrow mind, no treaties that had never been written in the blood of the man holding the pen; no discoveries stolen from their true inventors and instead repurposed and rebranded. Naught of which mattered; were paramount enough to be stored in the file cabinets so old, they perhaps predated the university of oxford. Those with an expiration date, nitpicked which dates and places were worth keeping record of; which war really mattered to one side, but not the other, and most definitely not the third party who lost the most in terms of wealth during the whole skirmish. Which treaties were worth putting up an act of righteousness and which were lit to ashes the moment the feather left the parchment. Which discoveries to credit the inventor, or the distributor, or the man with the large enough pockets with lots of loyal friends with not quite, but still ever so deep pockets. You cared little for the whims of those who philosophized and wrote the inaccurate, hyperbolized tales of the lawless, anarchic children with graying hair, wrinkled skin, and groaning bones.

Instead, your quite narrow, yet wrinkled mind remembered the seemingly dull things in life that only an immortal and tired soul would recall. You remembered the estonian woman with thick curly hair who flustered when you commented on how her fetching silk blouse brought out the brown in her eyes, as if you had just seen her on your way here. You remembered the blazing, aged guinean sailor with hair as red as sedimentary clay layered with crimson and bone marrow, who tricked you out of the very last shining coin in your pocket that you had saved to return to the mainland; as if you had just spoken to him the week before last. You remembered the french street performers who gave you the most complexing, suspicious looks when you loitered as they tuned their instruments, your hands clapping and tossing coins into their open cases before they had even the chance to play their trip the light fantastic ditty; as if you had spotted them as you left your home for the day; perhaps because you had just spotted the cellist, violinist, and fiddler some hours prior.

But you just can’t seem to recall ever seeing the face in front of you besides that of the paintings reusing the same model over and over again. This person was familiar, that you knew for sure, but you couldn’t recall exactly where. 1821? Peru? You had gone to Peru before, you thought, you must’ve been everyone on the pandering planet at least once by now; statistically speaking. You existed during 1821, though you don’t recall much from the time besides some man being crowned king of some small islands, some paintings being painted, some lives being born, and some lives taking their last breath. Things that could have happened anywhere else in the woebegone world, during any time that your breathing counterparts inhaled and exhaled; a simple date and simple country rang no bells.

This person that approached you, must have known you, having recognized you and walked up to you free of will. Yet, as you stared at them, pondering how they must’ve known you after all these years, decades, and centuries without a mere mention of another immortal roaming the weak world; here you were, with another person just like you. It was astonishing, made your non beating heart skip a beat and stop again; because you’ve been so out of practice. It was almost unbelievable; a person with a limited mind would have fallen heart first into the claims and thought of them as gospel. You were not as blessed with the same ignorance that came as second nature to the rest of the parasitic population, because you recalled your trips to Peru; suddenly remembering just what you got yourself into in the year of 1821; you would have memorized a face like dozens of others; the similarities causing the sameness to be abstract. You would not have forgotten a face like that, a voice of naïve wonderment like the one you just heard. Immortality was not just something that was thrown like a swear, caught like a flu; there was no rhyme or reason to it. You would know; in the almost eight billion people in the wide, withering world you have not met another like you, and for this day, today; radiated, and diaphanous day with skies as blue as hypothermia stricken bodies; you were alone and had yet, still yet, to be proven otherwise.

You solemnly shook your head, having gotten your hopes up so far beyond the atmosphere; falling back down was misery like the first moment immortality had dawned upon you. This person must’ve mistaken you for someone else; a picture book with pages too bright to warrant your attention, a history book that pictured a person that shared your features or that of your long gone siblings who must have children because they were the type to yearn, and hope, dream, and live their lives instead of solely subsist; anyone but you. For you were alone on this endless path, just like how your life was now boundless, and had been for a while longer than you can remember. You cleared your throat, your voice unfortunately grating from years of hardly any use; hoping to make the interaction quick and to the point; something that was truthful and that would cut this painful conversation short so you could return to your envy filled hobby of assuming other individual’s lives because they had indisputable ends while you repeated in this endless pastime.

The person who claimed to share a curse with you, had a voice that rang out like a fencing rapier, cutting through the air with such precision that it hurt without even slashing against you; could stab you with words instead of metal, “I’ve seen you somewhere, haven’t I? Remember me? Peru, 1821?” And like a fencer running on the necessity for revenge for someone that wasn’t himself, you answered,

“No, I do gay porn.”

[en-theheights]

All the problems with HSMTMTS:

I keep getting asked question on what happened in the fandom, and what is going on against all of the s*xual assault allegations against J*shua and T*m. This is going to be the post where I lay out all that I know of and inform the tumblr fandom on it because not all of you are on Twitter, and Tumblr is literally the heaven amongst fandoms. After this post, I’m DONE talking about this show and being apart of this toxic group. Along with talking about the s*xual assault allegations, I will also be addressing the issues during the BLM movement and other crap that not only the cast and crew have been a part of, but also the fandom itself. Let’s dig in.

Sidenote: I really don’t want any hate, I’m just trying to be open with you guys and inform you all. Also, I’m doing my best to remember everything, so if there is something that you want to know more on then please just message me personally cause I’m seriously SICK of discussing it publicly.

Not eveything in the fandom is due to JUST the cast and crew. This fandom is FULL of very toxic and creepy people.

A few months ago, someone (a grown women) who was overly obsessed with Olivia hacked into her grandfather’s account to turn it into a fan page to get undercover information on Olivia, as well as getting information on where Olivia lived. This grown women has also done some other seriously inappropriate things. If you want to learn more about the sketchy things that this women has done than you can go to Twitter and look it up.

There are always ship wars in fandoms, but this one takes it WAY too seriously. I’ve seen people get attack on their looks just for being a part of a ship. The ones that are heavily abusive are Rina vs Rini, Seblos vs CJ, and redlyn vs Redky. It has cause people to leave the fandom due to how bad the attacking got. On Tumblr, everyone’s pretty open about ships, but on twitter it is a literal battle field.

Disgraceful people still continue to ship the actors instead of the characters. J*livia and J*fia is what I’m going to talk more closely about. (First, josh is a grown adult and both Sofia and Olivia are minors, please unfollow me if you don’t see anything wrong with that). Sofia had to delete a few of her tik toks after one with Joshua went viral and people wouldn’t stop shipping her and him in her comments. Like one video she did, the caption was “I want a boyfriend” and people assumed they were dating and wouldn’t stop tagging him in her videos. As for Olivia, people have been shipping them since the beginning of the show. Fan accounts on all platforms have dedicated their time to this. I don’t necessarily remember if Sofia or Olivia came out saying that they were uncomfortable when they got shipped with their cast mates, but it started causing drifts between the actors because of this and Joshua wasn’t featured in any of Sofia’s videos after that and Olivia didn’t post as much as she use to with him. It goes to show that shipping actors makes things awkward and strained within their personal relationships. DONT DO THIS!

A person stating that they were friend’s with Olivia came out to expose Joshua of being a bad boyfriend after she tells everyone that Olivia and Joshua has been secretly dating during the press tour of HSMTMTS. There was clever evidence that showed they were dating and the girl came out with multiple receipts, and even went so far as to go on Instagram live to speak on the matter. But she then came out stating that it was false and she only wanted some attention. Apparently she was a j*livia stan. I can’t find anything on twitter about it anymore, since I’m pretty sure eveything was deleted. This can ruin people’s careers and I don’t know why anyone could think it’s okay. 

There are genuinely a lot of creepy adults that roam around in the HSM fandom. On twitter, there would be grown adults writing in detail how the kissing scene between Joshua and Olivia made them feel. People continue to post the gif of Nini and Ricky kissing and write out why it’s so important to them. People have taken that kissing scene and literally turned it into nasty and inappropriate sm*t on AO3 and Wattpad. Note once again that these characters are minors and it’s NEVER okay to write inappropriate stories about children. Grown adults need to be held accountable for their actions if this is how they’re acting.

Some parts of the fandom genuinely hate on both Sofia and Olivia for literally nothing. Just jealousy between their ships, and because of it, they think it’s okay to to personally attack the actresses on their looks and where they are in there careers. People continuously pin Olivia and Sofia against each other, like for example people bashing Olivia for not being as successful as Sofia, or Sofia being bashed because she doesn’t have the same singing career as Olivia. It’s once again, DISGUSTING!

This one is more about Disney and then not doing their part. Disney cut out the majority of Seblos’ scenes, which caused a lot of turmoil within the fandom and why Seblos felt unattached and awkward while they were together in all of their scenes after the dance episode. People called out Disney and said they they shouldn’t have put Seblos in if they weren’t going to go full out with it.

Onto the cast and the crew:

Kate (miss Jenn) got a lot of hate for exposing that Frankie (Carlos) and Joe(Seb) are in an actual real life relationship without asking them for their consent to tell the world. Don’t know whether they had spoken about them being in a relationship or not, but Kate didn’t speak on it after that either.

A video came out a few days ago of the cast taking cast pictures during their tour, and Mark (Mr. Mazzara) was standing beside Sofia in which it looks like his hand was rubbing Sofia’s lower back, and she seemed uncomfortable. I’m not sure if it’s a stretch or not because the video is super blurry and it’s hard to kind of see their faces, but you can clearly see his hand go behind her back. Personally for me, I didn’t notice anything too alarming, but you’d have to see for youself. I won’t be posting that and instead you can dm me personally and I’ll send you the link to the video.

A past comment of Joshua’s was exposed in which he is saying the F slur. #joshuabassettisoverparty was trending world wide on Twitter, with people wanting him off the show. He has apologized for it since then, but not many ever forgave him and it was just really his young girl audience that came to his defense, even though it wasn’t their apology to forgive. People that only stan him because he is a cute cis white male didn’t see the problem in what he had said, and kept saying that he was young and that it’s not a reason for us to hate on him, but he was only 17 when he said that, and it’s no excuse. Personally to me, his apology was super bland and he didn’t address it personally on his Twitter, but instead replied to a post saying he’d do better. Here’s what he had said:

Here is his apology on this:

Joshua also went on a live in which he said “boys, gals, or whatever” People accused him of being transphobic and enbyphobic. Others think that his words were being blown out of proportion. Here is that video:

I found it to be very ridiculous and rude that he doesn’t follow anybody on twitter or tik tok. On a live video, Julia said something about him not following her, and he just says that he doesn’t follow anybody and she shouldn’t take it personally. Honestly not that big of a deal, but it’s still shows pitifullness and arrogancy. Don’t know what his contract looks like with whatever agency he’s with, but maybe they’re just strict on that, but idk.

People hate on Matt (EJ) for being republican. He hasn’t done anything problematic or said anything out of offense, so for me he’s good. UPDATE: Turns out, Matt is friends with Benjamin Lawson Adams, a convicted pedophile. Here’s a brief statement in what happened:

He worked for the Weinstein company, so no surprise there. His arrest happened in May 2016, and his license was suspended to practice Law in July of 2018. If Matt knew what was best for him, he would stop having any and all associations with this dude.

That’s all I can think of on situations not regarding the s*xual assault allegations or the BLM movement. But there’s probably so much I’m missing. I’m going to make a part 2, cause the next half is too long to post here as well. I’ll label it #exposinghsmtmts so others are able to see it.

[leo-gold-hotchner]

The Sinner -2

Any criticism on spelling/grammar mistakes, character description (trying my best to describe them in characters), facts (especially region, I’ve never been to America before), etc. are all welcome! Though, be lenient on me :) 

I had to change ‘mate’ to ‘pal’ lol...

Criminal Minds BAU x Reader

Warning: Explicit description of blood, death, mutilation, swearing etc.

Word Count: 3.1k

Previous parts: 1

“A glutton lives to eat instead of eating to live.” – African Proverb 

 Tik tok. Tik tok. 

The large man cried as the silent room filled with the clock ticking. He wanted to stop the clock, wanted to smash it. But it will never happen, that's what the abductor said to him. He’ll never see the daylight while alive, and it scared him. Regretting ever joining the club. 

 The figure appeared without light, its face covered in a black mask, and a hood. He begged for the mercy, but the figure held out a red bloodied pliers without hesitation. Soon, painful screams filled the dark room along a sound of something being forcefully torn. Both predator and prey knew the pitiful scream can’t be heard from the outside.

2nd Day 

Detective Lee was already at the scene, covering his mouth while yawning. It was a freezing morning of November. The detective greeted the BAU kindly, explaining they were waiting for the CSI to be arrived. The team decided to wait for the CSI too, trying to wake fully from drowsiness. They were at the National Park, where everything looked peaceful except for the bloody body found on the large rock near the small waterfall. The Sun was rising slowly over the dawn sky while Lee explained the situation after scribbling something on his note. 

“The forest ranger found the body while patrolling the area,” the detective nodded towards a young ranger who looked very ill. “He stated there was no one except him when he found the body. The driver’s license says the victim’s name is Benedict Lewis, 46-year-old. Whoever did this, drove a long way to dump a body,” he cringed, “’gula’ is written on the body.” 

“Which is gluttony, just like lust, it’s the Seven Deadly Sins.” Rossi informed the detective. 

“So, the killer is really on an extreme religious mission or something?” Lee asked incredulously. During his 5 years of detective life, he’s never seen such murders before. 

“Maybe,” Reid replied. “Does the victim have any unusual thing other than the word?” His pocketed hand playing with the sobriety coin. The young genius was actually glad he was called in the early morning as he was having a nightmare. The nightmare where Tobias Hankel drugged him. 

“If you mean by a large rat, frog, snake shoved in his mouth, yeah. Is this also the Seven Deadly Sins thing?” the detective asked when Reid’s eyes sparked in realisation, pushing his nightmare to the back of his mind. 

“Yes, actually gluttony is punished by eating rats, snakes, toads eternally.” 

“Gross,” Prentiss frowned along with JJ and Morgan. 

“Prentiss and Morgan, check out the area, if there’s anything call me. Reid and JJ, talk to the ranger. Rossi and I’ll wait for the CSI here with Detective Lee.” After Hotch ordered his team, he called Garcia -who was asleep- to look up the victim. 

                                                         ---BAU---

Just after the agents were dispatched, an SUV parked near the scene. A person with several protections including a face covering mask walked towards them with large rectangular containers in hands. 

“Don’t they at least have courtesy to kill in the daylight?” The person said in an irritated tone with a yawning. 

“F/N?” The detective’s jaw hung up in surprise. “What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be on leave?” 

“I’ve been resting for two months, Leon. Fucking two months!” F/N held two fingers to the detective with frustration. “And it drove me crazy!” 

“What happened to Harrison?” 

“Apparently, our newbie is sick since he saw the ‘luxuria’ bodies.” The forensic scientist sighed deeply, shaking head. “Anyways, I’ll need your time of arrival and names. Did you touch anything?” 

“Yeah, I already wrote that, you drilled me too much it became a habit.” Detective shrugged as he showed his friend his note. “Had to touch to find his identity, but other than that I was really careful not to touch anything.” 

The scientist just walked into the scene, placing the containers far from the body and the scene. With gloves on, F/N looked through the scene, quickly theorising what to gather first. The scientist quickly but efficiently started to prepare by photographing the scene and the body, scribbling on the note. 

“That’s F/N L/N, one of the best forensic scientists we have. Sorry about the manner, F/N is usually polite.” Lee gave the two agents a sheepish smile. 

“Something happened?” Hotch asked, watching the scientist working, barking orders not to step closer to a young officer. Rossi raised his brows at the younger man, but Hotch ignored Rossi. The BAU leader could sense something from the scientist, but he wasn’t sure what was making him stare at the person. But his gut told him he had to know about what happened to this scientist. 

“Well,” the detective shoved his hands in his suit jacket, sighing deeply. “My partner, he was F/N’s husband. Has been on leave since Nick’s been shot, I’ve never thought F/N would suddenly appear here.” He checked on his watch. “Do you want coffee? I think we have time till F/N finishes the job.” Lee glanced at the scientist who was taking tweezers out from the equipment box. 

“Perhaps later,” Rossi replied pleasantly as he saw JJ and Reid returning from interviewing the forest ranger. 

“The ranger found the body around 5:40, he remembers clearly because he was texting his friend.” JJ informed them. 

“He didn’t see any vehicles while patrolling before he found the body. The UnSub probably visited the park before,” Reid said. “But he said he hasn’t seen anyone at night.” 

“Did you get when and where he patrols the park?” Rossi asked, looking at the pale ranger who was talking to an officer. 

“I asked him to draw on the map, and estimated time.” Reid showed the checked park map. Rossi noticed the trembled writings of the ranger and wondered if anyone can read that. 

Hotch’s phone suddenly rang, and he could hear the scientist curse along with the detective’s. Rossi coughed drily to hide his laugh, but Hotch could see the veteran profiler was amused that the phone call startled them. 

“Garcia, you’re on the speaker,” Hotch replied quickly before the technical analyst say something to embarrass herself from the detective. 

“Hotch, sir,” Garcia said, her voice still covered in sleep, “Lewis was a newspaper reporter before he changed his career to a food blog writer. He was a single, and there are no known connections between the first victim.” 

“Did he write criticisms on food?” JJ asked. 

“Yes, apparently,” Garcia paused for a moment, “a few restaurants closed due to his harsh reviews.” 

“Are the owners still live here?” 

“No, they all moved to other states and never returned to Philly.” 

“Thank you, Garcia.” Hotch ended the call, knowing Garcia will fall asleep as soon as he ends the call. “The UnSub associated the victims’ careers and the Sins, but we don’t know why the UnSub chose these people.” He frowned deeply. “What does UnSub want to tell us?” He saw Prentiss and Morgan returning, briefly informed what Garcia told them. 

“The area is just perfect for family picnics,” Prentiss shrugged, “there’s a wedding mansion, nothing much.” 

“This area is open space; the UnSub knew the body would be found easily.” Morgan said. “The mansion was locked tight, so I don’t think the UnSub used the facility, no hint of forced entry too.” 

“The UnSub could’ve been using some kind of transport. The victim has a large physique, moving the body here would’ve been difficult even for a muscular man,” Rossi hummed. 

“About that, Prentiss and I found tyre marks over there.” The muscular agent pointed over the crime scene. 

The detective went to the forensic scientist and told about the tyre mark and the scientist lazily walked to the scene to take several photos. 

                                                        ---BAU---

“Hey, can we enter now?” Lee yelled impatiently, checking an hour has passed. He shouldn’t urge his friend, but the scientist looked finished from his view, if not he’d just apologise to his friend and will be gladly yelled by the scientist for urging the work. But, without a word, the scientist only gestured to okay to come. 

“Not many insects and the body didn’t even reach bloating stage yet. So, you can say it’s rather fresh. But, you never know in this bitchy winter. I’ll send the traces and the animals to the lab as soon as I arrive.” 

“You finished real quick today, not much?” 

“I’m wondering this guy maybe learned from Dexter or something and thinks himself Dante or what.” L/N rolled eyes, shivering from the cold winter. “I hate winter,” the scientist muttered, “I’ll be in the lab if you need me.” 

“That’s it,” Reid exclaimed as he stared at the scientist’s back. “It’s Dante’s Inferno. In Inferno, after the first circle of Limbo, Dante visits the second circle where Lust is punished by devils. Then, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, Treachery. It’s rather fitting because this victim’s name is Benedict and in Inferno, Pope Boniface VIII is punished due to gluttony and his name was Benedetto which is equivalent to the English name, Benedict.” The young doctor talked fast which the detective watched the agent with his mouth ajar. 

“If the UnSub is killing according to Inferno, then it’s not about the seven sins?” Lee asked with a confused frown, he heard about the classic but never read. “I, I’m not sure about that.” Reid stuttered. “The Seven Deadly Sins are consisting of Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride. So we can’t be sure what the UnSub is imitating until the killings reach to either Wrath or Sloth.”

“Let’s hope we catch the UnSub before that stage,” Hotch mused rubbing his chin. “Rossi and Morgan, could you go and check Lewis’ home?”

“You drive,” Rossi threw the car key to the muscular man who caught it easily.

“I’m going to read Dante again,” Reid shrugged. “There might be hints.”

“I’ll be visiting the M.E., JJ and Prentiss are you going to the station?” Hotch asked.

“I thought about calling the victims’ family and friends,” JJ informed the unit chief. “Emily and I can split the job if that’s okay?” Prentiss nodded next to the blond agent.

“Alright, let’s get going.” Hotch nodded towards his team and everyone was ready for another long day.

                                                        ---BAU---

“Our victim knew how to clean,” Rossi looked around the small apartment. Lewis’ apartment was very clean, everything in order. 

“Hey, Rossi, look at this,” Morgan called the older man from the bedroom. Rossi saw the expensive watches in the drawer. “I wonder where he’d got money.” 

“They’re authentic,” Rossi examined one of the watches. “With salary of reporter or food writer he could’ve afford one or two, but not all of these.” 

“Maybe he was part of something?” 

“It’s possibility. We need to know if the first victims had anything like this, maybe that might be a connection between the victims.” 

“That might be, but the first two earned more than Lewis,” Morgan reminded the veteran agent. “They could’ve afforded as much as this if they wanted to.” 

“Perhaps that’s why they could get clients who’d pay them handsomely. If Lewis was payed for being a part of organisation, Smith and Olson may have introduced to their clients.”

“Urg, if that’s right, maybe that’s why both of them didn’t have any information on their clients.” Morgan huffed, thinking there was no information to gather the first two victims’ clients at all. No memo, no digital logs, none.

“But, let’s focus on Lewis’ life style shall we?” Rossi clasped his hands.

                                                       ---BAU---

Hotch saw the forensic scientist talking with Doctor Bear when he entered the pathologist lab. Surprisingly, the scientist was sitting on the metal table for corpses, and the M.E. was leaning back to another table where a white sheet covered a body on it. The place seemed to be grotesquely peaceful. 

“Agent Hotchner,” the doctor greeted the stoic agent. The forensic scientist just nodded to Hotch, but said nothing. “I sent the toxicology and autopsy report to Detective Lee.” The doctor shrugged before Hotch could reply, “but, I’m sure you’re here to see the body for yourself.” 

“Yes, I wanted examine the body before reading the report.” The doctor hummed. 

“Where’s that young man? He was rather interesting to talk to,” the doctor good-heartedly laughed uncovering the white sheet from the body. 

“I’m going, have fun,” the scientist said sarcastically before exiting the lab. 

“Ah well, F/N is still angry.” Bear said like he was talking to himself. 

Hotch stopped observing the Lewis’ body, and asked why the scientist was angry. 

“We still didn’t catch Nick’s shooter.” Bear frowned deeply. “Nick’s F/N’s husband, and he was a good man and friend.” 

Hotch nodded, but he took a mental note of that. He didn’t know why, but it felt important to know both Hotch and L/N lost their spouse to criminals. But for now, it was time to focus on the doctor’s explanation. 

                                                       ---BAU---

JJ was staring at the board with crossed arms over her chest and Reid was reading Dante’s Inferno with his usual reading pace. Prentiss was pressing her chin on the brown desk, wrapping her head with her arms as she stared at a black phone blankly. It’s only been second day, and everyone could feel this case will take a long time to solve. The BAU knew they will catch the UnSub eventually as they usually did, but nonetheless it was a hard process to find any lead on this UnSub. 

“The family couldn’t find anything strange, or found anything from their homes,” the brunette groaned as she muttered about the first victims’ possessions. 

‘Expensive possession’ was circled and a red question mark was drawn next to it where the white board was filled with words and photos by the agents. 

“Only connection we currently have is, MO.” JJ tilted her head as if she was about to burn the word ‘torture’ on the board with her eyes. “So much anger, but on what?” 

“Smith and Olson’s families say they didn’t have any enemies, and Lewis was a loner, no family, no close friends.” Prentiss tapped her finger on her the desk. The young man closed his book and looked up. “Finished?” 

“Yes,” the genius replied dully. “I don’t think there’s any hint in the literature yet.” 

“We need a break, coffee?” JJ whirled around and asked. 

                                                       ---BAU---

Detective Lee sighed as he threw his jacket off. The BAU was here, but the case wasn’t really cracking as he thought. But it’s only been second day no need to rush. The killer left literally nothing other than the body. Whoever it was, the guy knew how to hide evidence. But still, not even one single hair or fibre? It was so frustrating, killer among people, looking for next victim. It made his skin crawl and wanted to catch this bastard as soon as possible. 

“Tired day?” Morgan asked from behind where he and Rossi returned from Lewis’ place. 

Rossi entered the BAU room, throwing his empty coffee cup into the bin where the younger three agents whined about not having coffee yet to the older man. Morgan quickly smirked at the scene but turned his attention to the detective. 

“Yeah,” the detective replied casually. “I still have other cases to solve. You guys are just like rain during drought for me to help catch this guy.” 

“Hey, we’ll catch this guy,” Morgan encouraged the younger man. “That’s why we’re here, to help you catch this guy.” 

“Thanks, pal.” Lee quickly grabbed several files from this desk and handed to the FBI agent. “Here’s the copies of reports for the autopsy and toxicology of Lewis.” 

“Thanks.” Morgan thanked. “By the way,” he then stopped and asked, “Any recommendation for coffees?” 

“Two blocks right when you exit the station, you see one small café.” Lee used his thumb to point the direction. “If you need a hand, I’ll probably be here till late.” 

Morgan thanked the polite detective and joined his team. “Hey, Lee told me there’s a good café here. Let’s grab some coffee.” 

“I’m in,” Prentiss replied quickly as she grabbed her coat. “You two wanna stay here?” She asked JJ and Reid. 

“I need some air,” JJ followed the brunette and turned to Reid expectantly. 

“Could you grab me a coffee, I still want to see if there’s anything I missed.” Reid asked. 

“If Hotch comes, tell him we’ll get his coffee too,” JJ told Rossi and Reid who nodded. 

                                                       ---BAU---

The BAU unit chief’s eyes swiftly turned to the captain’s office where Detective Lee was having a conversation with the Captain. His eyes met with the Captain’s eyes, the Captain stiffly nodded towards Hotch, but soon he blinded his office. It was none of his business whether the boss and his subordinate to have a talk, but Hotch felt the talk was about this case. This case was something big. He didn’t know why but he was having this strange feeling about this case. It was as if in deep down, he knew why the UnSub was killing these people. But he didn’t know. It was irking him, frustrating him to no end. His sense was telling him most of important pieces of the puzzle were already gathered. 

The team greeted him as he entered the room, Prentiss handed his coffee that was still warm enough to drink. 

“Have you found something?” Reid asked the leader. 

“No,” Hotch leaned back on the wall. “But, Lewis was less tortured than Smith and Olson. Unlike the other two, Lewis’ death was due to blunt force trauma on the back of his head.” 

“Maybe the UnSub is looking for information about potential victims. Torture is the method the UnSub is using to extract information, and Lewis maybe gave the UnSub that information easily without retaliating further.” JJ suggested, thinking back when she was deployed in a secret mission in Afghanistan. 

“That’d be plausible after Rossi and Morgan found expensive watches Lewis couldn’t afford,” Reid nodded. 

“So the UnSub may be annihilating members of this secret group.” Prentiss quickly scribbled ‘group’ on the white board, arrows pointing from the victims’ photos. 

“For now that’s the best theory,” Rossi leaned front, “but we have to be careful not to focus on this theory. We have to be flexible.” Rossi reminded the team. 

Hotch checked his watch that was already pointing 6pm. 

“Let’s grab dinner, and you can work or rest at your room for today.”

[ferretshark]

Meet Me In St Louis

By: @ferretshark

For: @wonkystank​

Rating:General

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, May Parker 

Summary:

Peter really wasn’t looking forward to Friday, May was working and he already knew that Tony was going out of town because Lab and movie night were cancelled. He should just take the time to stay in and catch up on sleep. The problem was he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking, but he couldn’t think effectively because he needed sleep. The cycle was vicious and he wasn’t seeing a way out.

He looks up to find Tony watching him.“You know I’m going to St Louis. Why don’t you come with?”

“Go with you? I thought it was a business trip.”

Ao3 link 

Peter stares into space, unfocused. He’s tired and everything he needs to do stretches out in front of him. Lately sleep has been hard to come by and the days are blurring together, even Spider-manning has lost some of its charm. He sighs.

“I’m sorry. Am I boring you?” Tony’s voice is teasing.

Peter blinks, eyes snapping back into focus. “Um, no. I'm not bored.” It was lab day, not that they’d accomplished much. The lethargy that had been plaguing Peter all week iswas still there sapping his creativity. He starts to offer up an excuse but settles for honesty. “I’m just... tired.”

Tony’s eyes darken with concern. “Yeah, May and I have been worried about that. Maybe it’s time for a break, Bud.”

Peter narrows his eyes a bit. He’s not sure how he feels about this new development where Tony and May consult on the regular about his welfare.

“So no school on Friday.” Tony ventures. “Happy said you’re o-ff.”

“Yeah, it’s a teacher work day.” He slumps forward, resting his cheek on his hand.

Peter really wasn’t looking forward to Friday, May was working and he already knew that Tony was going out of town because Lab and movie night were cancelled. He should just take the time to stay in and catch up on sleep. The problem was he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking, but he couldn’t think effectively because he needed sleep. The cycle was vicious and he wasn’t seeing a way out.

He looks up to find Tony watching him.“You know I’m going to St Louis. Why don’t you come with?”

“Go with you? I thought it was a business trip.”

“It is. All the more reason you should come along.”

Peter considers. Seeing the in and outs of running SI could be cool, but the  travel sounds exhausting. “I’ll have to see what May thinks,” he mumbles out.

“She thinks it’s a good idea. “ Tony crosses his arms at Peter’s unimpressed look. “Might be fun to do a little light interning?” Tony’s phone chimes and he glances down. “Happy’s here.”

Peter stands, stretches and starts gathering his jacket and backpack. He’s not really sure where the afternoon’s gone.

Tony walks with him out to the garage, it’s something that’s started to become a bit of a tradition lately. “ See you bright and early on Friday. And, Pete, leave the suit at home.”

—-

Peter tries to go to bed early on Thursday, he really does. He only patrols to nine thirty , comes home, showers and packs his duffle.

He’s in bed by eleven but sleep won’t come. Tossing and turning well past midnight, he checks his phone again, up in three hours. He flips the screen down and passes out close to dawn.

By some miracle he’s awake at five thirty, grabs a quick breakfast and is downstairs ready when  the black Bently pulls up to the curb. The door and trunk locks disengage.

“Quick! Get in.” Happy yells through the windows.

Peter barely has time to throw his bag in the open trunk and get the door shut before Happy’s veering back out into traffic. He peers at Peter in the rear view mirror. “Buckle up!”

“Ok, ok I‘m working on it.” Peter pulls the belt and snaps the buckle into place. “Where’s Mr. Stark?”

“He’s meeting us there.”  Happy answers, accelerating through a yellow light.

Sometime later, they pull up in front of the private jet hanger. Peter hops out and waits while Happy grabs their bags. The jet sits on the tarmac, and it gives Peter flashbacks of another trip not so long ago. The steps to the passenger cabin lower and Happy hurries inside with the luggage only to poke his head out again.

“Can you tell Tony we’re ready to go? His stuff’s already here but I think he’s in the hanger.”

Peter looks over to the tan building waiting off.  “Uh, sure.”  He steps inside the open building and sure enough Tony is there, tapping away on his mobile.

“I thought you said no suits.” Peter gestures to the Iron Man suit standing in sentry mode over in the corner of the hanger.

“Do as I say not as I do.” Tony says flippantly, not looking up from his phone. “Anyway, he’s staying here.”

The fact that Tony always talked about each of his suits as if they were wayward children but also proclaimed them synonymous with himself privately amuses Peter. He looks fondly at the suit.

“So still not sleeping?” Peter looks up to find Tony’s gaze sweeping over his face.

“Not really.” He shrugs, he doesn’t want to get into it right now. “Happy says it’s time to go.”

Tony looks out at the jet. “Yeah, probably. Come on.”

______

The flight time stretches out as Peter stares out the window. Mr. Stark mouths an apology but ends up spending most of the time on his phone. He can see Happy hunched over in the back, sending emails.

At least the WiFi is plentiful. Peter spends his time wisely watching tik toks and scrolling through tumblr. He wishes he could rest a little, but even as tired as he is, actual sleepiness seemed out of reach. The tiredness he carries lately is settled down deep in his bones and leaves him feeling like he’s taking tiny sips of rest when he really needs to drink deep. The  resulting exhaustion sits heavy in his mind, weighing down his shoulders. Trying to ignore the feeling he  stretches out, putting his feet on the seat across from him.

Slipping his earphones in affords him some semblance of privacy,  He starts up his Spidey playlist and dives back into the wonders of the internet. He’s not really aware when he starts singing, until he launches into an energetic chorus and suddenly he remembers. He bolts upright to find the other two airplane occupants regarding him with everything from amusement to irritation. In fact, it was exactly those two reactions, amusement and irritation.

“Oh, um sorry.”

Tony laughs and goes back to his work, still smiling.

Happy is playing a mean eyebrow game as he finishes his phone call.

Peter clears his throat and settles back into his seat <i>quietly.</i> He also studiously avoids looking around the passenger cabin. Fortunately, within thirty minutes, they're on the ground at the airport.

He stands and stretches while Happy and Tony disembark. He’s learned by now that the most important thing to do in these situations is stay out of Happy Hogan’s way. The man is a ball of energy as he secures their ride and gets the luggage put away.

Tony slides into the back seat and Peter slips in beside him. “Let’s go, Hap.”

Peter marvels at the views of an unfamiliar city through the car window, far off he catches a glimpse of the Gateway Arch, the city’s most famous landmark. There’s factories and abandoned houses, museums and concrete, but it’s also beautiful and green in a way that parts of Queens aren't. Maybe it’s not a fair comparison but, hey, Peter hasn’t been too many places.

They pull up at the Four Seasons Hotel because, of course, Tony always goes first class. Peter takes a quick panoramic shot and sends it out in a text to his best friend. Ned was going to die.

The lobby is all light and glass and Peter tries hard not to be intimidated. He’d stayed in some reasonably nice places back when he was in band, but really nothing close to this.

Tony goes to the front desk and comes back with keycards. He passes them out to Peter and Happy.

“We have early check in so go make yourselves at home. Same floor.”

Happy looks a little surprised, “They didn’t have your suite-”

He’s cut off by Tony. “It’s good, we’re good,” he calls over his shoulder, heading to the elevator. “Let’s go.”

They get to the right floor and exit the elevator and Tony hovers while Peter finds his room number easily enough. Tony lingers behind him in the hallway until his door swings open, making sure his keycard works.

Peter pushes inside to reveal a tasteful decor in green, gray and olive. The room opens up at the end with an enormous picture window, framing  the far off bridge and graceful sloping Arch. His first thought is that he’d love to swing from it. His second is that he must be in the wrong room.

He leans back out in the hallway. “Mr. Stark?” He can see Tony down and across the hall balancing his phone while he tries to work his key card from its little paper sleeve.

“Yeah, Pete?”

“I think I have the wrong room. There’s the view um..the Arch?” He gestures back toward the room.

Tony’s smile is soft with understanding, “I know kid, I’ve seen it.” He disappears into his own room. “Try a nap, if you can.”

Peter turns back, his eyes riveted to the skyline.  Slipping into the room, he drops his bag on the floor. “Holy shit.” He whispers and then executes a pivot and falls backward onto the incredibly soft bed.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls his phone out, thumb sliding across the cracked screen. The plan is to send a few quick texts to May, but the muse strikes him and he steps over to take a few pictures from the window.

There’s a sharp rap at the door and Peter surges to his feet. Outside in the hall he finds Happy, looking not very happy at all. The man was all business.

“Ok, at midday we’ll be heading over to Switchpoint Services. We’ll do lunch there. The meeting’s at one.” Happy hands him a packet. “Here’s your security badge.” He slaps a laminated piece of plastic into Peter’s hand,  “Wear it,” he stresses. “Do not lose it.” He gives Peter stern look, bulging out his eyes to make his point.

“That was, like, one time.” Peter tries to defend himself.

“If you don’t have the badge, they won’t let you in.” Happy doubles down on the dire warnings. “And don’t think you can sweet-talk your way upstairs like you do with that lobby guy at SI.”

“Ok, ok Happy, I got it.”

“Meet us in the lobby at 11 and we’ll head over.”

Happy turns and heads off down the hall. Peter shuts the door and sets his packet out. He should probably familiarize himself with the company they were going to.

There’s an olive chaise and he sits down on it. He spends a lazy half hour reading over the history of one Switchpoint Services, a poly-global tech company. Their latest innovations were extremely noteworthy. No wonder Mr. Stark wanted to partner with them.

He flips listlessly through the pages again. Maybe he should take a nap, like Mr Stark suggested. He glances over at the bed, but the thought of laying there, wanting to sleep but being unable. His new unwelcome normal. No, Peter turns his head back towards the window, then leans his head against it. He watches the flow of people and traffic below him.

A brief pattern of soft knocks sound at the door, and Peter’s head jerks up.

“Come in,” Peter calls.

Tony sticks his head around the door. “You busy?”

“Oh, it’s you.”

Tony just gives him a look before stepping into the room. He walks over to where Peter is.

“You just standing here?” Tony’s brows draw together.

Peter shrugs, “Yeah.” He wants to confide in Tony and tell him about the lack of sleep, the inability to rest. He feels like if anyone would understand, it would be Ironman. The words won’t come though, but in the end he doesn’t need them.  

Tony hooks the edge of the olive green lounger and pulls it in front of the window. He pats the seat beside him. Peter joins him and they sit together, staring out at the mid-morning crush. Everyone outside was hurrying, trying to get somewhere but in this moment, in this space, Peter found he could finally just breathe.

There’s something in the shared silence that does more than any amount of talking could have.

Eventually, Tony’s phone beeps and he leaves, telling Peter it’s almost time to get ready.

Peter changes into his “work” clothes. His standard blue-gray sweater over a collared shirt and khaki pants. Not snazzy, like whatever Mr Stark will wear, but it works. He picks up the packet Happy gave him, slips his keycard in his pocket, and goes down in the elevator.

Downstairs Happy and Mr. Stark are chatting quietly. Happy is in his standard gray suit. Mr Stark is wearing a fitted black suit with a white dress shirt and red tie. His eyes are somewhat masked by the fashion shades he’s wearing. Peter fidgets, feeling underdressed.

Ton smiles when he catches sight of Peter, “There he is. Right on time.” He claps Peter on the back and they head to the parking lot.

Happy ushers them to the car and they drive through the busy city to a square building with blue mirrored windows.

Peter steps out, looking up at the office and swallows, tugging a bit at his cuffs.

Tony catches his eye, “Nerves?”

“Nah, I’m good.” Peter says with a little more confidence than he actually feels. He checks to make sure he has his security badge and that it’s visible.

There’s nothing quite like stepping into a business with Tony Stark. He’s instantly recognizable and between Stark Industries and the Avengers, his celebrity has launched into the stratosphere.

Happy takes immediate charge or coordinating with the personnel on site. Peter follows close behind Mr. Stark as they are ushered into a brightly lit, but currently empty, conference room. It’s bigger than Peter had expected and he wonders for the first time just how many people would be joining them.

After quiet discussion with their guid, Tony settles in at the head of the table and directs Peter to the seat on his right. The chairs themselves are a dove gray with a surprisingly comfortable seat. Peter leans back and stretches his legs out in front of him.

“You hungry?” Mr Stark asks.

“Mm, yeah. I could eat,” Peter answers politely.

“Yeah me too,” Mr. Stark steps out and has a word with Happy. When he comes back, he has food.

“The finest box lunch ten bucks can buy. Complete with mystery cookie.” Tony tosses down a  box lunch in front of Peter. Tony leaves and comes back with bottled waters.

They open their boxes and Peter pulls out his ham and cheese. This was one of those fancier lunches with the really good bread. He takes a bite and sighs. Hunger well on its way to being sated, he roots around to find his chips and a wrapped dill pickle slice.

“Chocolate, white chocolate chunk.” Tony comments, unwrapping his baked good. “What did you get?”

“Looks like white chocolate macadamia.” Peter keeps his expression neutral because, sure, he’d eat it. He generally wasn’t in the position to be picky.

He looks up to find Tony holding the chocolate cookie out,  “Trade?”

“Um sure.” He knows he sound less enthusiastic than he feels but he is grateful - chocolate cookies were the best.

“ Macadamia nuts. You know,” Tony muses. “Back in the day, they used to serve pouches of these on flights to Hawaii.” He takes a bite of the cookie, chews and swallows. “For the greater good and all, but I still kinda miss ‘em.”

They clean up their lunches and Tony reads over his notes again. As the meeting time grows closer, the room starts to fill with people. There’s polite murmuring among the group and Peter does his best not to eavesdrop. It’s full to capacity by the time, a woman greets them both warmly and then calls everyone to attention.

“I want to turn you over to our esteemed guest, Mr. Tony Stark.” Applause from around the conference table and Peter wonders awkwardly if he should be clapping too. As he’s puzzling over the implications of clapping versus not clapping, the group moves on, their attention completely focused on Tony, at the head of the table.  

“You know who I am so we won’t waste anymore time on that.” A confident smile curls at Tony’s lips. “I do want to introduce you to my intern Peter.” He gestures to Peter, who in lieu of saying anything, settles for a quick wave. He hopes he wasn’t supposed to say anything.

Tony continues talking, “I have a lot of proposals come across my desk, but this one was exceptional, the possibilities of application are endless…”

Peter zones out a bit as the meeting winds on. There’s a back and forth, then question time before the meeting ends around lunch time.

Tony drops back in his seat after the last person, a chatty man in a silver tie, files out.

“That went well.”

Peter is watching him and playing with a pen between his fingers, “Yeah, it seemed to. These guys are really smart.”

“Did you get a copy of the prospectus?” Tony asks, glancing over at him.

“Oh, no I didn’t get one.” Peter glances around his spot at the table, just in case he’s overlooked it.

“Here,” Tony slides the thick packet over, “read it.”

And Peter does, it doesn’t take him long to get to the particulars.

He pores over the details. It’s for a mobile robot that could source its own energy needs. It consumed metal by breaking down its chemical bonds and converted it to stored energy, like a battery.

“This is so cool.” Peter marvels. He could think of several applications just off the top of his head.

Tony smiles, “I knew you’d appreciate it.”

“Are you buying the patent?”

“I’m buying the company.” Mr. Stark smirks but then he holds up a finger. “That’s confidential, it’s not official. Gotta convince Pep first.” Tony had a leather satchel and he slips his documents inside. “Ready to head out?”

“Yeah sure.” Peter gathers his own papers. “Where’s Happy?”

“I have him running point on a few things.” Mr. Stark doesn’t elaborate and Peter follows him out. They drop their badges off and head out into the late afternoon sunshine.

There’s a silver Audi parked in a reserved spot and Peter doesn’t waste time wondering how it got there. As with most things involving Tony, it just was. They get in and buckle up.

“Any idea what you want for dinner?”

“I’m good with whatever. “

“Any thoughts? Now’s your chance.” Tony merges into the flow of traffic and accelerates, the engine purrs as it picks up speed.

Peter shrugs, he doesn’t really know any places up here aside from fast food restaurants and he doesn’t think that’s what Mr. Stark would want.

Tony drums his thumbs on the steering wheel, thinking. “You ever been to The Cheesecake Factory?”

Pete blinks. There was one in Queens but it was more for tourists and proms. Plus it was kind of pricey. He and May frequented the quieter, family owned restaurants around their apartment.

“Maybe once with Ned?” He really wasn’t sure.

“So it’s been a while?” Tony shoots him a look from the corner of his eye. “Sound ok to you?”

“Sure, sounds good. I’m totally good with whatever, Mr Stark.”

They park near the restaurant and Tony sheds his jacket and tie, tossing them in the back. They’re seated right away and the waitress drops off bread.

Peter is happy to find that the portions are huge and the bread basket bottomless. By the time they finish their cheesecake, he’s actually comfortably full.

“I didn't know Tony Stark ate anywhere like the Cheesecake Factory.” Peter teases

“Jokes on you, Tony Stark once ate a two day old cheese burger off the floor. Not one of my finer moments and also one I’d encourage you not to repeat.” Tony’s self deprecating smile almost masked the flash of emotion behind his eyes but not quite.

Peter falls back on a joke to head off any awkwardness,  “You only do that with gummy bears, Mr Stark.”

Tony gives him a long look and then narrows his eyes.

“I was eight!” Peter says defensively.

Tony’s tone is pure skepticism. “Sure you were.”

The waitress comes back with the bill. . “ Here’s this whenever you're ready. Your to-go order and cheesecakes are coming. We’re just getting them bagged up now.”

“Piece to go?” Peter wonders.

Tony’s mouth quirks, “A piece? I got a whole cake. Pep would kill me if I didn’t bring her some.”

He flips open the card holder and signs the top copy with typical flourish. Peter notices in spite of himself that the tip line has a couple of extra zeros for their waitress. Tony slips his card back into his wallet.

“I don’t know why they don’t take Starkpay.” He mutters to himself as much as Peter. “We gotta make that more of a thing.”

it makes Peter feel funny to have Tony pay for him. He’s aware that Tony foots lots of bills but he doesn’t want the man to feel like it’s expected.

The drive back to the hotel is in comfortable silence. Peter doesn’t feel like he needs to fill the space with words, he feels valued and  understood. He can count on one hand the places in his life that fill him with this kind of contentment.

“The Midwest isn’t a bad place to live.” Tony ruminates. “I’ve blown through here a couple of times, used to stay at the Omni. There’s a great little curry shop downtown, only open for two hours a day, but that is some great pakora.”

“What’s it called?” Peter’s curiosity gets the better of him.

“Mr. Curry.” Tony answers and then grins.

Peter’s laugh surprises him. There’s nothing really funny about it but everything seems light and easy right now.

“Next time, remind me to take you up to the bakery in Kirkwood.’” Tony says thoughtfully,  “The cookies? You’ll love ‘em. He’s a fully trained chef with a little hole in the wall shop. It’s pretty cool.”

The sun had set when they were in the restaurant and the world was muted and dark. The lights from the stores and other cars blur together and Peter is overcome with a feeling somnolence. He can suddenly barely keep his eyes open.

Tony pulls the Audi into the hotel lot and parks it in a smooth motion.

“Hey, Pete,” He calls, his voice low. “We’re here, bud.”

Peter blinks slowly and wipes at his eyes with his palms. “Ok.” He picks up his things and they head inside. The lights of the lobby are a little blinding after being outside, causing Peter to squint under the glare.

Tony hands off his cheesecake to the front desk and they take the elevator upstairs. Peter slumps against the wall. He notices that Tony still has a bag in his hand and when Peter looks at it, he lifts it up and smiles.

“Happy. He’s a late eater,” He explains.

Peter nods, but doesn't speak, words are just a bridge too far right now, which is very unlike him.

He gets his ley in the reader and the door opens. Tony lingers for a moment.“You need anything? Glass of water? Pillow menu?”

“P- There’s a pillow menu?” Peter’s not quite sure if Tony’s teasing or not, but he considers, “Nah, I'm good, Mr. Stark. Thanks for dinner.” Thanks for everything.

“Sleep tight, kid. You did good today.” Tony’s smile is warm and fond. “See you in the morning, he heads off to find Happy.

Buoyed by the praise Peter shuts his door, showers and brushes his teeth. He nearly forgets to set his alarm, but catches it before collapsing into bed and falling into a deep and dreamless sleep.

When Peter wakes up, he feels well-rested for the first time in a long time. He has to admit that this has been a nice vacation from New York. He showers, dresses and packs up his clothes and phone charger. He pushes the curtains back and takes in the view one more time. He’s kind of going to miss it here.

Gathering up his bag, he looks out the window one, more time before texting Mr. Stark and Happy that he was on his way down stairs. When he steps off the elevator, he finds Tony in the seating area and he’s just sitting down when Happy shows up.

“You’re looking better.” Happy comments, setting down a coffee carrier and handing him a cup. “Got your usual.”

“Oh thanks!” Peter takes his. It’s sweet and hot and he sighs into it happily. Only to look up and see Tony watching him with gentle amusement.

“Coffee, Am I right?” Tony smiles and reaches for his own cup.

“Yeah.” Peter takes another drink. “So the beds here are amazing. It was like being eaten by a marshmallow. Or maybe a cloud.”

Happy snorts and Tony grins at his phone, “There might be a future for you in advertising.”

They take their coffee and drive over to what amounts to an elaborate networking session with brunch being served. Of course, everyone wanted to talk to Mr. Stark so Peter kept close to Happy and munched his way through all four flavors of bagel. Not quite up to New York standards, but passable.

A few people do talk to him and ask about his internship. Fortunately, they’d worked the particulars of that cover story out long ago. He sticks mostly to the script, but tells one woman that he’s also into web design, only to be interrupted by Happy choking on his orange juice.

It takes a while to extricate themselves. Mr. Stark seems intent on making himself accessible. Although he’s not big on shaking hands, he does listen carefully when people talk to him. It strikes Peter that Tony Stark the businessman is a very different animal from Tony Stark, the Avenger, who shows up late for briefings just to troll Captain America. He’s glad he’s in a position to witness both.

They make it out mid afternoon, just beating rush hour.

“Pepper wants you to sign these.” Happy hurries up the steps and thrusts a leather portfolio at Tony.

Peter falls back in his seat, he’d slept last night but drowsiness persists.

The jet is dimmer than he remembers and warm. He can hear the scratch of Tony’s fountain pen against paper as he goes over the contracts. It relaxes him

He finds his eyes slipping closed. At some point he wakes up to find a blanket tucked around his shoulders and Tony watching him with a warm expression full of fondness.

“Go back to sleep, bud.”

And he does, easily.

He wakes to Tony gently shaking his knee. Peter stretches,

Happy’s head was rolled back against the seat, snoring solidly, but as soon as he realizes where they are, he springs into action.

It takes a while but they finally make it into Queens and Happy sits idling in the street while cars weave around them, honking

“This is for May.” Tony casually hands Peter a Cheesecake Factory bag.

“Oh wow.” Peter sniffs the bag, its definitely chocolate.

Tony regards him through the rolled down window, “Ok, take care. Stay out of trouble.”

Peter scoffs, “Of course.” They both know that’s a lie, Tony laughs.

“Bye Peter.” Happy calls impatiently, but Peter doesn’t take offense.

“Goodbye, drive safe!” He calls after the Departing Bentley.

Peter turns and bounds up the steps with the bag.

“May?”He calls when he opens the apartment door.

“Hey Baby.” May lights up when she sees him and he closes in on her for a quick hug.

He pulls back and shows her the bag, “Tony sent you a cheesecake.”

“That was thoughtful. Put it in the fridge.” She tucks her hair up. “You’re gonna help me eat it, right? Right?” When he doesn't answer her immediately she nudges him with her elbow.

“Depends on what flavor it is.”

“Thai tonight?”

“Sure, you know how I love a good larb.”

“And the larb loves you.” She quips pulling a plate from the drying rack and putting it up in the cabinet. “So how was your trip?”

“Good!” Peter washes his hands and grabs a handful of silverware to toss in the drawer.

“It worked.” He makes short work of tossing everything into the various slots and turns to look at her.

“What worked?” Her face is the picture of innocence.

“Come on.” Peter gives her a look.“You guys think I wouldn’t figure it out?

May’s eyes take on a serious tone and she reaches up and shifts a couple of his curls back into place. “He was worried. We both were. And for the record, you look less like the walking dead and a lot more like Peter.”

“Yeah, I feel more like him too,” He smiles.

“Ok, I’m going to go get ready for dinner.” She sweeps out of the kitchen, “be ready in ten!”

Peter grabs his bag and heads to his room, his phone starts ringing and he accepts the Facetime call.

“Hey!”

“ Just wanted to make sure you got home ok.”

“Yeah, Mr. Stark. You just saw me like an hour ago,”  Peter teases.

“Well you never know, it’s a fast paced world, Mr. Parker.” Tony is leaning back with a washcloth covering his eyes.

Peter frowns, “Are you ok?”

“Just winding down after a hard couple day's work.”

Peter hears the soft sloshing of water, “Wait, are you in the bathtub?” He demands incredulously, squinting at the screen, were those <i>bubbles?</i>

“Yep, creature comforts and all, don’t knock it til you- oop, oh shit.”

The view shifts as the phone falls sideways, then a distinct ‘bloop’ and the viewscreen goes a blurry iridescent to blue then black.

“Mr. Stark?”

Friday’s voice comes over the blackened screen. “Mr. Stark is no longer connected.”

Peter blows out a laugh and then he chortles, he so cannot wait for the next lab day.

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1976

Under the cut.

Bay City Rollers – “Saturday Night” -- January 3, 1976

They prove they can spell Saturday a lot. Anyway, he's going out to dance with his girl on Saturday night. The song is bouncy to a fault -- I feel like the repetitive, samey beat is following one of those balls the mind-controlled kids bounced in A Wrinkle in Time. It sounds like a cheerleading chant. Something to do aerobics to, not to dance to.

C.W. McCall – “Convoy” -- January 10, 1976

So, besides the cb radio fad, 1976 was also the year of the OPEC oil crisis and basically, it seems the reason truckers became folk heroes evading The Man in popular consciousness had its roots in international relations. Anyway, it's a baritone story song, but about truckers instead of cowboys. I like the verse, "Well, we shot the line and we went for broke/ With a thousand screamin' trucks/ An' eleven long-haired Friends o' Jesus/ In a chartreuse micro-bus." It's a silly song with a lot of trucker lingo (or fake trucker lingo, idk), and I don't exactly dislike it, but I'm not gonna listen to it again either.

Barry Manilow – “I Write The Songs” -- January 17, 1976

It's obvious from the first lines "I've been alive forever/ And I wrote the very first songs" that Barry's not singing about himself. It turns out "music" wrote the all the songs. Except that's obnoxious too. People wrote the songs. Also possibly birds, but definitely people. And it's musical goo.

Diana Ross – “Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To)” -- January 24, 1976

It's a song about regretting letting an ex go, and probably more. There's a ton of orchestration that sounds like it belongs in a lightweight movie, and Diana Ross doesn't put much emotion into it. It is a thoughtful song, rather than one calling for melodrama, but I would like to hear some emotion here, and I am not getting it. A trifle light as air.

Ohio Players – “Love Rollercoaster” -- January 31, 1976

It's a funk/disco thing. I've listened to it three times trying to get anything from it at all. The lyrics are dumb, asserting love is like this or that amusement park experience. I'd think "love rollercoaster" would be about how there are huge highs and terrifying lows, but it's not. It's horribly repetitive. I guess it's danceable. But I find it dull.

Paul Simon – “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” -- February 7, 1976

I love how pared down this song is. It's sort of funky, without all the funk orchestration. The simple drums are the main focus. The melody's also simple, without being dull. And the lyrics aren't complex; a woman is encouraging the narrator to leave his official lover for her. "Just get yourself free." But she's doing it so very nicely -- "I wish there were something I could do to make you smile again." Not that the song expects us to believe she or the narrator actually are nice. Or that it's really all that easy to leave your lover. But it doesn't tell you what to think about the situation either. An excellent song.

Rhythm Heritage – “Theme From S.W.A.T.“ -- February 28, 1976

Apparently, there was a TV show about S.W.A.T., and this was its instrumental theme song. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Not a good TV theme either. I looked up 1976 shows, and here are some shows with better TV themes from that year: Charlie's Angels, Alice, M*A*S*H, Happy Days (which surprisingly only hit #5), All in the Family, Barney Miller, Welcome Back Kotter (which hit #1 later), The Jeffersons (that Movin' On Up doesn't seem to have been a hit is shocking), The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Sanford and Son, The Bob Newhart Show... look, all of them. All shows in 1976 that I can find had better theme songs than S.W.A.T., often to a staggering degree. But songs don't reach #1 for being good. Still, usually I can hazard a reason for them. I can't for this one.

The Four Seasons – “December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)” -- March 13, 1976

It's about the narrator getting laid for the first time. He didn't even know the name of the woman, which completely undercuts anything happy or fun about this song for me, and makes it icky. At least it's not falsetto. I wasn't born when it came out, yet it was overplayed on the oldies stations in the 90s so much that I developed a deep and abiding hatred for it.

Johnnie Taylor – “Disco Lady” -- April 3, 1976

This is a song about disco that isn't a disco song. As such, it confuses me. It's kind of a mild funk/soul song, and it's about how turned on this guy is watching a woman disco. Johnnie Taylor can definitely sing, and I'd like to hear some more traditional soul/jazz stuff from him. This isn't doing it for me.

The Bellamy Brothers – “Let Your Love Flow” -- May 1, 1976

I saw the title and immediately the song shoved itself into my head. It's such a mellow song, but the hook is still monstrous. The song is about how it's the season for love, so grab your lover and "let your love flow." It's one of many 70s songs about sex that sounds like it could be a song about how pretty trees are. It kind of is about how pretty trees are too. I rather like it.

John Sebastian – “Welcome Back” -- May 8, 1976

Welcome Back, Kotter was not on Nick at Nite or WGN or anything else that ran old TV shows when I was watching TV (rather than the internet), so I've never seen it. The theme song lays it all out -- someone moves back to his old neighborhood, where they need him. As TV theme songs go, it's fine. Just fine, though. When "Movin' On Up" and "Love Is All Around" were also theme songs for TV shows in 1976, why this one? The rewards of mediocrity I guess.

The Sylvers – “Boogie Fever” -- May 15, 1976

It's literal. You come in contact with someone who can't stop boogie-ing, and you will catch the Boogie Fever yourself. Listening to the song will certainly make you want to boogie, unless you are immune. A fun dance song, and I wouldn't be surprised if Tik-Tok made it a hit again in the next year.

Wings – “Silly Love Songs” -- May 22, 1976

"Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs / What’s wrong with that?" Nothing.  Paul even emphasizes something important in it: "Love isn't silly at all." Still, I can't say it's one of my favorites. I get tired of it about halfway through, and it's a long song. A silly love song shouldn't be nearly 6 minutes long.

Diana Ross – “Love Hangover” -- May 29, 1976

It starts with Diana Ross making sex sounds that I find embarrassing. Then she goes into singing about how she doesn't want to get over "the sweetest love hangover", and a minute and a half in it becomes a disco song. I find the entire thing irritating.

Starland Vocal Band – “Afternoon Delight” -- July 10, 1976

"Afternoon delight" is sex, but these doofuses may as well be singing about tea and scones for all the excitement this song has. It still doesn't deserve the hatred it's gotten. But it's not good either. The number of sexless sex songs in the 70s is just... ugh.

The Manhattans – “Kiss And Say Goodbye” -- July 24, 1976

He has to break up with the person he's been cheating with. It's an achingly sad Philly soul song. It also manages to be way sexier than the vast majority of 70s sex songs. Real emotion (or the ability to fake real emotion) does a lot, as does being able to sing like this. And beautiful backing music. It's so sad, and so good.

Elton John & Kiki Dee – “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” -- August 7, 1976

This song isn't mutual. Elton John's the one who sings "don't go breaking my heart," and Kiki Dee's the one singing "I won't go breaking your heart." It is all and entirely and completely about the male character's feelings. Of course it's an Elton John song so I wouldn't like it anyway, but I really don't like this one, especially because it still gets airplay.

Bee Gees – “You Should Be Dancing” -- September 4, 1976

I hate the Bee Gees. Not on a personal level -- as far as I know they're perfectly decent people -- but their music. And I have a particular hatred for Barry Gibb's voice. His horrible falsetto has caused me immense pain in my life. If I should be dancing, then they need to shut up and sit down and let a band that I can dance to take the stage. As it is, I feel like a dog during the 4th of July; I just want to hide under a bed.

KC & The Sunshine Band – “(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty” -- September 11, 1976

Here's a command to dance that I can get behind. Or that my behind can get behind. Again, a great song for dancing but not for listening to from KC & The Sunshine Band.

Wild Cherry – “Play That Funky Music” -- September 18, 1976

Good for both dancing and listening. How you can listen and not get into that funk groove even when sitting, though, I don't know. Play that funky music till you die.

Walter Murphy & The Big Apple Band – “A Fifth Of Beethoven” -- October 9, 1976

This was the #1 hit the week I was born. It's a good one for me; it's by a guy who loved classical music enough to write contemporary music based on it. Whenever I'm faced with questions about what kind of music is my favorite, my answer is "the good kind." Anyway, this is a fun song.

Rick Dees And His Cast Of Idiots – “Disco Duck (Part 1)” -- October 16, 1976

Billboard used to base their hit songs on calling record stores and asking what was selling. I think that's how this stupid, stupid song reached number one. I think it was a prank by a bunch of stoned college kids who co-ordinated it over cb radio or something. It's about a duck. Who discos. With an obnoxious voice and obnoxious music. It's by a radio dj, and is as painfully unfunny as radio djs usually are.

Chicago – “If You Leave Me Now” -- October 23, 1976

This song makes me have a weird reaction. It gives me the warm, comfortable fuzzies, and makes me want to sleep. That last part might not be too surprising, as it is a soft song, but to me it is very much more than that. I have always had trouble sleeping at night, since birth. My parents hit on putting me into the car and driving around with soft music playing to get me to go lights out. I need to ask them if they played Chicago during that. I can't think of any other reason for my hindbrain association with this szzzzzzz....

Steve Miller Band – “Rock’n Me” -- November 6, 1976

Good bar rock, since it's the Steve Miller Band. Lyrically, it's also more complex than most of its genre. At first, he sings "I got to please my sweet baby, yeah." Then he starts singing about all the places he's been, including "Northern California where the girls are warm." And then "Babe, you know you are a friend of mine/ And you know that it's true/ That all the things that I do/ Are gonna come back to you in your sweet time." Well then. I can totally see @katatty's Duncan Huckleberry singing this song. And getting away with everything. It's a fun song, though (because?) the narrator is likely a dirtbag.

Rod Stewart – “Tonight’s The Night (Gonna Be Alright)” -- November 13, 1976

It's a sex song, and it is hugely skeevy. "Don't deny your man's desire/ You’d be a fool to stop this tide / Spread your wings and let me come inside." No, asshole, cover it up if you want to come near. And how about if you want her, you care something about her desire? This was a huge hit from a huge star, but I have never heard it until now. Ugh. I need to shower, this is gross. Also I hope whoever he's singing to is packing mace.

BEST OF 1976 -- "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." I don't even think it's an amazing song, just a very good one, but the 1976 #1s don't leave me much to work with. Fleetwood Mac released some singles, but people wanted "Disco Duck" rather than "Over My Head." Tons of great music has survived from 1976, but most of it is not on this list. WORST OF 1976 -- "Tonight's the Night (Gonna Be Alright)". "Disco Duck" is stupid, but it doesn't make my skin crawl.