#it’s in 3 hours josh just letting u know

[myfriendtheghost]

I miss Josh

[cheolism]

BREAK AND RETURN

✰ — brother's-bandmate!minghao x f!reader ✷ — summary: last week minghao did what he thought was best and put an end to your fling. he sees you again before band practice and can't help but give in to his desires. ✰ — wc is approx. 5k ✷ — genre: 90s au, smut, fwb/fucking your brother's friend ✰ — warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it! yk it!), pet names (good girl, angel, etc), jealousy, possessiveness, and lust. backshots, off-screen masturbation, fingering and pussy-licking. lmk if anything else should be added :) ✷ — rating: 18+ ✰ — note: this is a part of @beomcoups's "now that's 90's" svt collab! thank u very much for letting me join the collab! i had fun chatting n interacting with new people ^-^ i hope everyone enjoys the fic!! thank you very much to @wooahaeproductions for reading this over and reassuring me <3 tagging @idyllic-ghost and @onlyhuis bc i think you both wanted tagged but i can't remember, so sorry!!!

here’s the thing: minghao isn’t stupid. 

he knows better. he truly does. he isn’t some idiot stuck at a claw machine at an arcade, doesn’t keep feeding it his money while never getting any closer to winning a prize. minghao knows when to quit something, when to step away. 

that’s why he broke things off with you, after all. he had thought it would be easy. the two of you weren’t in a real relationship. you weren’t like tom cruise and nichole kidman – the two of you were just fucking. no strings attached. 

but of course there were strings attached. you’re the kid sister to his friend and bandmate, josh; at first minghao thought he would be fine keeping it a secret. he didn’t need to take you out on dates and show you off like you were the best thing since bon jovi. the two of you were content in each other’s arms, naked chest against naked chest, legs intertwined as you dozed off. 

minghao, however, wasn’t stupid.

he knew there were strings attached to the both of you. he knew that it was a bad idea, fucking his bandmate’s little sister. every time he kissed your warm mouth, he knew he was betraying josh’s trust. it wasn’t fair of him to to that to josh, and it wasn’t fair of him to put you, josh’s sister, in a position to lie to your own brother. 

so minghao took initiative and broke off the relationship. 

he wasn’t stupid, and he knew the first time he would see you after breaking up with you would be hard. he knew it would be. it’s hard for real couples, for couples that hold hands as they walk down the street and talk about what to name the cat they’re going to adopt. he had imagined it would be hard, to some degree, to see you. the two of you might have steered away from such topics as rings and shared apartments and other things that left the fantasy of forever in your minds, but he knew you. he knew how you sighed after he kissed the space under your ear, he knew how you looked fresh from the shower with your face shining from the heat of the water. he knew how you looked when you concentrated on painting your toes, how you looked when you begged him to see clueless at the theater because josh thought it would be stupid and you didn’t know who else to ask. 

he knew you, and perhaps that was worse than dating you. 

he knew you, and you knew him, and minghao isn’t stupid but he didn’t know that seeing you again would hurt so much. 

you look beautiful. you always do, according to minghao. you’re sitting on that old couch josh and him spent an hour trying to shove into the garage for their band practices. you’re wearing ridiculous clothes, baggy comfy pants and the ugly oversized sweater with the worn collar and checkers and stripes on it. you’re talking to soonyoung, hands waving excitedly as the two of you laugh. your beauty bubbles out with every breath of laughter, seems to radiate in your chest like a little star, and minghao knows that even if winona ryder was in the room with them he would still choose you as the most beautiful. 

you catch sight of minghao. you shoot him a grin, large and inviting, as if he hadn’t made you cry last week. you give him a little wave. “hi, minghao!”

and then you turn back to soonyoung, your knee pressed against his. 

it’s so ridiculous; he’s ridiculous. minghao feels his stomach twist, as if someone was wringing it like a wash cloth after doing dirty dishes. you’re beautiful and radiant, and you spoke two words to minghao before turning to soonyoung, as if minghao wasn’t anyone particularly special. 

he can’t help but stare at you. you lift a hand, and, in a move he recognizes as you flirting because you’ve done it to him when you want him to fuck you, you tuck your hair back behind your ear. you are wearing small pearl stud earrings and immediately minghao recognizes them as the ones he bought for you a year and a half ago, right before the two of you started fucking. 

you tuck your hair back behind your ear and soonyoung watches, his mouth parted a little, and minghao feels like he needs to punch something. 

“funny, isn’t it?” josh says, appearing at minghao’s side. josh runs his tongue over his lip ring, pulling at the sleeves of his plaid jacket. “it looks like soonyoung’s got a crush on my kid sister.”

“yeah,” minghao says, throat tight. he watches as soonyoung edges slightly closer, his thigh now pressed firmly against yours. you don’t move away. minghao wants you to move away, or better yet, slap soonyoung. 

minghao isn’t a violent person, either. he isn’t violent, nor is he jealous. but once he also had thought he was above the lure of lust, was above giving into the craving of needing your body against his, dick stuffed in your pussy and his mouth dominating yours. 

maybe you just had some sort of power over him that no one else did. maybe it’s like that movie practical magic, and you’ve placed a spell on him, bewitching him. 

“i think he’s going to ask her out soon,” josh carries on, as if he’s ignorant to the way minghao is one step from having a crisis. “i saw the drive-in is going to be playing jurassic park. i remember when it first came out and how much she loved seeing it at the theater. it’ll be a good chance for soonyoung to ask her on a date.”

minghao scoffs. “you know he’s scared of that movie. whenever we bring out the vhs he runs.”

josh shrugs. “if he likes her as much as i think he does, i think soonyoung will be fine.”

“and you’re okay with it?” minghao turns to josh, putting his back to you and soonyoung. “you’re totally okay with soonyoung dating your sister?”

josh shrugged, twisting his mouth a little in thought. “well. i think – i think he really likes her, you know? he’s not just gonna fuck her and leave her hanging around until he wants her again.”

minghao’s mouth sours, and he bites back a venomous remark. that’s what his relationship with you was like, wasn’t it? he has no place to try and insert himself between you and soonyoung’s blossoming relationship.

“you know how soonyoung is, though,” minghao says, despite himself. he folds his arms in front of him, drumming his fingers against his bare skin. he sees the little flower tattoo on his ring finger, the one he got after you spent an evening at his apartment drawing flowers into your lisa frank notebook with glitter pens. “he’s flighty. he’s never stayed with a chick longer than a month. what if he breaks her heart?”

josh hums. “i can’t keep her locked away in the house forever, hao. she’s grown. she can make her own decisions. and if that is soonyoung, the same soonyoung who refuses to drive without everyone wearing seatbelts and insists on someone holding his hand as he gets a tattoo, then i’m fine with that.”

minghao huffs. he walks away from josh, knowing that josh is right. you are grown and can make your own decisions. for a year and a half, that was minghao. you chose to go to his apartment, chose to get on your knees and offer your mouth. you chose to lay by his side, fingers gently tracing the vine tattoo that climbed up his left arm as minghao murmured about the future. for a year and a half you chose minghao, until he took that choice away from you. 

and now you were sitting at soonyoung’s side on an old, musty couch, laughing at some stupid joke. 

minghao grabbed his bass off of its stand, bringing the strap up around his neck. his fingers find the strings naturally, absentmindedly plucking out the beginning of u2’s “one”. on the body of his bass, down towards the bridge, is a strawberry shortcake sticker that you had gingerly pressed onto his instrument. 

josh joins minghao, calling back to soonyoung. jihoon and vernon come through the door leading to the kitchen, each of them holding a jolt cola. 

“finally,” minghao sighs, glaring at the two other men. “come on. practice started ten minutes ago.”

soonyoung stands from the couch, still talking to you. you’re looking up at him with a smile, eyes sparkling. 

“kwon soonyoung!” minghao snaps. he stops playing the bass, narrowing his eyes at soonyoung. “come on! just because you have all day doesn’t mean the rest of us do. why don’t you fucking respect the rest of us and stop flirting and get the fuck over here.”

josh sucks in a breath next to minghao but doesn’t say anything. soonyoung gives you a small wave, and then he’s jogging over. he glances at minghao, murmuring a small apology. 

minghao doesn’t care. he’s watching you. you lean forward, elbows on your knees, tilting your head and eyes on minghao. your sweater – that overly large, horrible sweater – is loose at the collar, and as you lean forward the hole widens and gapes and falls, giving minghao a view of the valley between your tits and the top of your black silk bra, and all that skin above it. 

and he remembers. minghao remembers what it was like to press his mouth to your skin, to hold your tits in his hands and feel their weight and warmth. he remembers being between your warm thighs, remembers how soft your body was and how he always seemed to sink into it. 

you stand. “well, i’ll leave you guys alone so you can practice.”

minghao watches as you leave, the hem of your sweater covering your ass. he remembers you walking from his bed wearing an overly large nirvana shirt, how the hem tapped against your ass as you walked away and to the kitchen. 

and here’s the thing: minghao isn’t stupid. 

he broke things off with you. he isn’t with you anymore, doesn’t have the privilege of getting horny and jealous of you. he doesn’t get to act on his frustrations when he sees you taunting him, when he sees you getting your petty revenge for breaking up with you. you’re stirring something up with soonyoung, and he doesn’t get to veto that, doesn’t get to act as if he has any say in your life. 

after all, he’s the one that made sure he wouldn’t. he’s the one that made sure to draw the line between the two of you. 

practice starts, and minghao is somewhere else entirely. he gets the order of the songs mixed up, starts playing basket case before live forever. he loses all of his picks and has to borrow from vernon, and his mind keeps slipping back to you. 

an hour passes like that, with minghao not really there. he’s between your thighs, face pressed against your pussy; he’s in your arms, heels digging into his back as you urge him to go deeper. he’s everywhere but there, everywhere with you. 

eventually minghao loses another pick, and josh sighs from the front. he goes over to the speaker and dials it off, frowning at everyone. “i’m thinking we should take a break. we’re not doing our best, and everyone seems really scattered right now. let’s break for supper and come back and really put work in.”

the others nod, turning off their instruments or, in jihoon’s case, setting down his drumsticks. “we need to get focused,” jihoon agrees, serious. “we’re not going to keep maintaining gigs if we’re fucking around like this. we need to be serious about what we’re doing. we need to be bringing our everything to every practice. none of this bullshit.” 

josh nods, setting his guitar back in its case. his case, just like minghao’s, is decorated with stickers you’ve slapped on. besides strawberry shortcake there’s lisa frank, rugrats, pokemon. there’s squiggly lines and smiley faces and flowers, all the signs pointing to you. 

“honestly,” joshua says, voice grave, “if, by some fucking miracle, the black rose calls back and says they want us to perform for them, i’ll have to turn them down.”

soonyoung protests, brow furrowed. “come on! this is just one practice we’ve fucked up. it’s not like we’re always fucking around. let’s just take a break, clear our heads, and come back at it. this isn’t something that needs to be repeated or stressed over.”

“i’m thinking about a triple decker pizza,” vernon says, prompted by no one. josh rolls his eyes, grinning, and the band begins to split into groups for food. 

“where you wanna go?” soonyoung asks minghao. he’s blinking innocently at minghao, completely ignorant of the absolute sin going through his mind. he doesn’t know that minghao thought about punching him only an hour ago, doesn’t know he’s been fantasizing about the way your thighs felt under his fingertips while fumbling his fingers over the bass strings. 

“i think i’ll just run home and grab something,” minghao lies, setting his guitar on its stand. soonyoung pouts, nodding. 

minghao lingers behind the others, lying to josh about misplacing his keys and promising to lock the house behind him. you were doing your homework, josh said, and he didn’t want you to be disturbed. 

minghao waits until soonyoung, whom always seems to be the last one to leave, pulls out of the driveway with vernon jamming out in the passenger seat beside him, and then he’s moving. 

he knows the way up to your bedroom as if it was his own. he goes up the carpeted stairs, past the various pictures of you in flouncy dresses and huge bows as babies, past the awkward family photo with you and josh pressed shoulder-to-shoulder, wearing matching sweater vests. he flips on the mickey mouse lightswitch at the top of the staircase, and then he’s opening your bedroom door. 

your room is your sanctuary. the bedroom walls are painted a soft lilac from your childhood, covered in posters from spice girls to nirvana and aerosmith. there’s beanie babies hanging over your mirror, a troll doll on your dresser. your room is littered with comics and cd cases, all of your cds stacked in small piles around the stereo. you’ve got backstreet boys playing from your stereo, and minghao doesn’t even have it in him to make a comment about it. 

meanwhile, you – 

you are on your bed. you’re still wearing that sweater, but that’s all. your blankets are on the floor, pillow stuffed underneath your hips. your entire lower half is bare, one leg extended out and the other bent. the room has the faint, barely-there smell of cunt, and it’s more intoxicating than any drug. 

you meet minghao’s eyes sheepishly, hands smoothing down your thighs. “missed you,” is all you say, fingers slowly dragging across your thighs and towards your center. 

minghao is across the room in record time, pulling off his bomber jacket and throwing it to the ground. “we don’t have a lot of time,” he says, hands pulling up the hem of his shirt to zip down his pants. “the others just went to eat.”

“then you better hurry,” you say, eyes sparkling. you don’t make any comments about him stumbling back into your bed after breaking everything off. instead you spread out your legs, your hands making quick work of your sweater and bra, and minghao falls onto your bed. 

“i’ve prepared,” you say as he settles between your thighs. he can’t help but run his hands over your skin, treasuring the feel of your skin beneath his. this was his favorite place on earth, he realizes; between your thighs, skin to skin. 

“you’ve prepared?” he echos, raising a brow. you nod, biting down on your lip. “been waiting for me, is that it?”

“you or soonyoung,” you say, grinning at him. 

minghao scowls at you, pinching your skin between his fingertips. “shut up,” he commands you. “don’t wanna hear you say his name ever again.”

you laugh at him, reaching out. you lace your fingers around his neck, bringing his face down to yours. you press a quick, close-lipped kiss to his mouth. “sorry,” you say, voice still light and giggly. “couldn’t help it.”

minghao growls, and then he’s lacing his hands in your hair and smashing his mouth back to yours. he pries open your mouth with his tongue, delving in and reclaiming that familiar space. he can’t believe he’s gone over a week without kissing you – it’s a sin, he’s sure, to not kiss you and have you whimpering underneath his touch. it’s a greater sin to not kiss you than it is to be kissing his friend’s little sister, surely. 

he sucks at your bottom lip, moving his hands down your thighs. they’re sticky on the inside, no doubt from when you prepared yourself earlier. when he moves his hand deeper between your thighs it’s wetter, warmer, stickier, and he thinks that this is a heaven of it’s own. you sigh against his mouth, and then he’s ducking his head and moving his body, mouth slipping from yours and skimming down over your chin and along your throat. 

you whine, and he can’t help but chuckle against your skin. he suckles at your throat. you open beneath him so wonderfully, it’s a wonder he was ever able to separate from you at all. 

minghao moves down your body, kissing each and every spot he missed. the top of the valley between your tits, the skin of your shoulder. he mouths at your nipples, slipping his hand up between your legs so his fingers brush at your pussy lips. 

you shiver beneath him. he laps at one of your nipples with his tongue, fingers dipping and sliding your cunt. he doesn’t apply any real pressure,  just content with teasing you and hearing those whines and moans he missed. 

“hao,” you groan out, fingers moving to his hair. you tangle your fingers in his locks, pulling softly. “hao –”

he shushes you, and then his fingers are slipping into your cunt. you moan out, head tipping back. he slips two into your hole, biting down at his lip as your pussy contracts around him, trying to suck his fingers in further, desperate for his touch. 

your cunt is hot around his fingers. it’s not as tight as it would have been if you hadn’t prepared, and it’s easy for him to slide his two fingers down to the base, brushing his fingertips against your core.

“fuck,” he sighs, pressing his face against your stomach. he breathes in, inhaling your scent. you’re so wonderful. you smell wonderful, feel wonderful. he wants to devour you; he can’t imagine why he ever left you. 

he slides his fingers from your cunt, drawing a high whine from your lips. minghao clicks his tongue at you, and then he’s pushing three fingers in. you shudder, cunt clenching so tight around his digits that he can’t move. 

“easy, baby,” he mumbles, his free hand going to your leg. minghao pulls your leg over his shoulder, nose pressing against your thigh. he can feel your skin against his eyelash as his breathes you in here, too. “gotta be easy and good for me.”

you let out a long breath, eyes sliding shut. your cunt loosens around his fingers, and as a reward minghao moves down further between your legs. he presses his face to your cunt, the smell of your pussy surrounding him. 

he knows he should hurry. he knows his band will be back soon. but that doesn’t stop minghao from running his tongue along your clit, doesn’t stop him from tasting this part of you. he missed it so much – missed your cunt, how it smelled and felt and tasted. 

your thighs clench around his head, but he continues. minghao scissors his fingers in you, not focused on stretching you but instead making you feel good. he laps at your lit in broad strokes, and then he’s sucking at your little bean, a loud squeal escaping your lips. 

“quiet!” he hisses, though he feels his lips twitching up at the corner. he does it again and again between licks of his tongue, feeling your body shake beneath his and little sounds of ecstasy escape your lips. 

“hao!” you whine out, fingers digging slightly into his scalp. “gotta – gotta hurry, josh –”

you couldn’t manage a full sentence, high moans and squeals escaping your mouth and interrupting your words. but minghao understood all the same, and he was pressing one last kiss to your pussy before he withdrew. 

he wiped his hand off on the sheets, and then he was pushing his pants and boxers down to his knees. he fisted his shirt with one hand, raising it and keep it away from your soaking cunt as he moved close. 

you plant your feet on the bed, tilting your hips up for him. you’re so good, he thinks. you’re perfect. and you’re his. 

minghao pressed the head of his cock against your cunt, watching as your entire body seemed to freeze in anticipation. you were so ready for him, so eager. you were biting down at your lip, eyes large and watching, and minghao couldn’t even pretend he wasn’t feeling the same way. 

he crowded down over you, releasing his shirt and moving his hand to cup your face. minghao rolled his tongue into your mouth, the noises of your wet mouths meeting making his cock throb with anger.

he fucked into your cunt, a deep groan escaping you. your pussy was tight, despite preparation, but warm and wet and minghao slowly slid deeper and deeper. your body took his cock easily, as it always had, and he knew that the two of you were meant for each other. 

“hao,” you moan out, lashes fluttering. you speak against his mouth, breath hot. “feels good, hao. want it. missed you so much, hao.”

“i know, baby,” he mumbles, hand sinking into your hair. he slides until his cock is buried as far as it can go within you, your pussy clamping down on his cock. he wanted to move, wanted to immediately begin fucking you. instead he held back, hand twisting in your hair. “i missed you too.”

you bite at your lip, and then you’re tightening your legs around his waist. minghao takes this as permission, and he begins drawing his hips back. the slide of his dick against your walls feels so good, feels perfect, all slick warmth that makes his toes curl and eyes flutter. 

he can’t believe he left you. he can’t believe he ended this. he’s so fucking stupid – 

minghao fucks back into your cunt, and it feels like coming home. he begins setting a slow, deep rhythm that makes you arch up around him, mouth wide and eyes pinched shut. he just looks at you, takes in the shape of your mouth and your lashes, just looks and adores you. 

his hand moves from your hair to your ear, and he traces the shell of your ear as he grinds into you. he follows the curve, adoring. he thumbs at your earlobe, just touching you, when he touches that pearl earring. 

and minghao thinks back. he thinks back to how you had tucked your hair behind your ear for soonyoung, how you had acted all cute and coy for him. how you had taunted minghao. 

his hips slow to a stop, and you whine for him. for a moment he just focuses on your earrings, staring. 

“you’re such a bad girl,” he growls out, and then he’s slamming back into your pussy, the sound of skin hitting skin loud. you cry out, startled, and then he’s setting a punishing, brutal pace. 

“you’re so bad,” he hisses, hand moving down to your throat. he doesn’t choke you, just places his hand against your throat. “teasing me like that with soonyoung. so fucking bad. wanted me to get jealous, didn’t you?”

you whimper, eyes rolling back as he fucks you. each thrust into your cunt is wet and loud, and he fucks you knowing that you’ll feel the ache hours later. 

“wanted me jealous of kwon soonyoung,” minghao murmurs, and he’s ducking his head to bite at your neck. you cry out, cunt tightening around his dick. he bites and licks and sucks, marking your neck as his. 

because you are his. he was a fool to think otherwise. you’re his and he’s yours, and he’ll show kwon soonyoung. 

minghao pulls out – you whine – and he flips you around. minghao moves to his knees, pulling you up and back so you’re on all fours. he enters you with a rough thrust, and then he’s resuming his hard pace, chasing out each sting of skin slapping skin, seeking that pain-pleasure. 

“you’re mine,” he says, hands tight around your hips. he watches your ass jiggle with each thrust, some animalistic urge to take coming over him. “you’re mine, angel. fucking mine and no one else’s. got it?”

you nod against your pillows, arching your back and pushing back to him. you fuck back onto him, meeting each thrust, and minghao can’t help but feel satisfied. 

as if you’d ever do this for kwon soonyoung. as if you’d ever let him fuck you like this, as if you’d ever give yourself over to kwon soonyoung as eagerly as you do minghao.

“you gotta cum,” minghao commands, slapping at your ass. you cry out, fingers twisting in the sheets. “gotta cum around my cock, baby. milk me.”

he reaches down, grabbing his shirt and pushing it up out of the way. his fingers slip into your cunt, fluttering around where the two of you are connected to grind down on the gummy area surrounding your clit. you whine, and only a couple of thrusts later you’re tightening around his dick. 

“that’s it,” minghao says, biting down on his lip. “gush around my dick, angel. come on, cum for me.”

your moans rise in pitch as you cum, and he fucks you through it. he fucks into your pussy as it quivers, fluttering around his dick. once you’re finished, whining from oversensitivity, minghao pulls out of your pussy – your warm, tight, delightful pussy – and fucks into his hand until he’s shooting out warm stripes of cum, painting your back white. he feels fuckin amazing, adrenaline and lust and something he can’t quite name rushing through his veins. 

he pants, watching as his cum taints your skin. you’re so beautiful like this, stained with him. he says as much, rubbing his hand over your ass and back. 

a car honks from the street. minghao curses, and then he’s flinging himself off of the bed. he grabs his bomber jacket, hesitates, and then quickly wipes himself down. 

“i’ll wash it,” you promise, and he ducks down to press a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your mouth. 

“good girl,” he murmurs, moving to press a kiss to your temple. “such a good girl for me.”

he darts for the bathroom after leaving your bedroom, flicking on the goofy lightswitch. he looks in the mirror. he looks – well, he looks like he just spent the last half hour fucking someone. 

but not just anyone, he thinks, grabbing his shirt and flapping it to try and get some fresh air against his skin. he spent the last half hour fucking you. 

vernon looks at him weirdly as he hands minghao a few slices of pizza. “been busy?”

minghao shrugs, pressing his hair back from his face. “went jogging a bit to try and clear my mind of all it’s shit. need to bring everything to practice.”

vernon looks like he doesn’t believe minghao, but vernon, also, doesn’t care. so minghao watches as his friend grabs a soda from the fridge. “cool,” is all he says, and then vernon begins slurping at his drink. 

soonyoung enters the room with his own pizza, setting it on the counter. “i made sure to get some you like,” he says to minghao. 

minghao feels, slightly, like he should feel guilty towards soonyoung. soonyoung, after all, has a crush on you. and minghao just fucked soonyoung’s crush. 

then again, minghao thinks, it’s soonyoung’s fault for getting a crush on you when you spend every other day getting your brains fucked out by minghao. 

joshua enters his house with a large grin, holding a plastic cup in one hand. “you’ll never fucking guess who called.”

“president clinton,” soonyoung says, raising a slice of pepperoni pizza to his mouth. “wait. better yet. monica lewinsky.”

“no,” josh says, “cut it out. i’m talking about the fucking black rose club! they called! and they want us for next thursday!”

“well,” minghao says, a grin taking over his face. “it isn’t a friday or saturday performance, so the club won’t be too busy.”

“but it gets our name out there,” josh agreed, clapping vernon on the back. he looks so sincerely happy, lip ring glinting in the artificial light of the kitchen. “we’re getting on the map.”

minghao raises vernon’s soda in salute towards josh before drinking it and handing it back to vernon. “things are looking up,” minghao says.

minghao isn’t stupid. he knows they’ll need to work their asses off for the next week in preparation of playing at the club. he knows this is only one step on the mountain of success, only one step towards their goal line. he knows he’ll need to talk to you, sincerely. he knows he’ll need to apologize, knows he needs to explain everything. 

yes; minghao isn’t stupid. 

but, he thinks, watching as you come down the stairs, fresh from a shower, he is awfully lucky. 

[jaemified]

sunshine - kwon soonyoung

“you’ll always be my sunshine in the rain”

pairing; kwon soonyoung x fem!reader

genre; fluff, drama, unrequited love

warnings; minimal mention of drinking, soonyoung and reader get rained on in the middle

wordcount; 1.6k

synopsis; the one who stayed by your side no matter how many times you got fired from different jobs, tells you no matter the outcome, you’ll always be his sunshine in the rain.

read below the cut !

you had just been fired from your third job within a span of 7 months. not that you really did anything, you were always a competent employee, just the fact your overly.. energetic (to say the least) friend group would always seem to forget they are in public when they visit you. and once your boss found out they were yours, you paid the price no matter how much you tried.

“im sorry. i know it’s not you whos personally at fault, but we’ve been getting to many noise complaints from both owners next door. so we have to let you go, im really sorry again.” your boss, minnie, had told you before firing you from the bakery.

i mean, it made some sense that there would be noise complaints as the people next door were a tutoring company and a book store, but why would you have to be the one to take the blame?

at the end of the day, they were still your best friends, so you tried to see past it. but you really needed the money with rent due soon, not to mention the bills on top of all that. ‘i really might need to cancel my netflix and hulu subscription..’

you do have a roommate, sana, who you of course are close with, but with her being in law school, she was barely home.

of course she paid her share as she was pretty financially stable not to mention she still slept there (sorta) often, yet you never could ask her for money. though you went to high school and finished college together, it still felt weird asking for money.

so you sucked it up and went job hunting online, texting some of your (other) friends if they knew any available positions in the retail industry.

after 3 hours, you gave up. it was about 5pm now, and you had been rejected by around 15 different stores.

you decided to take a break to eat, and made a quick sandwich.

you scrolled through your phone mindlessly, before you received a notification from the one and only tiger lover (you really cringed when he told you to make that his contact name), soonyoung.

hoshi; r u ok

hoshi; srry me and kyeom got u fired

hoshi; picking u up

hoshi; dress nice

hoshi; jk u always do

hoshi; be there in 25

you sighed at his sad attempt to cheer you up. of course, him and seokmin were your best friends (among other things) yet you seriously had no idea how to move forward career wise.

you thought of just not telling them where you worked but they always found out one way or another.

even so, despite the desperate need for money you appreciated all soonyoung did for you. if he wasnt able to support you financially, he definitely always would mentally/emotionally.

with a heavy groan, you drag yourself off the couch to get dressed as you realized the minimal time you had left before he’d arrive.

you put on a yellow dress with yellow frill short sleeves, as well as a random pair of white sneakers before grabbing your bag and phone just as soonyoung texted he was parked outside.

“is that the dress i bought for you a while back?” he questioned while he backed out the parking lot.

“yeah. just never really had the chance to wear it since i was always working.”

“im sorry about that, again. i know you aren’t exactly the most financially stable but just know you can always come to me if you need-”

“soonyoung- weve been over this, i cant just ask you for money. i could never impose on you like that.”

“its not imposing if im the one offering it to you. but really, i don’t mind. im more then comfortable money wise right now.”

“only cause you live in cheols basement.”

“its not a basement- its a bedroom below the main floor. and josh literally has his own room on the same level as me! you know what thats besides the point. but you get what i mean!”

“yeah- you’re a group of 5 grown men living in a small technically one story plus a loft house with a.. not-basement because none of you wanna pay bills on your own.” you chuckled, rolling your eyes as you let the wind blow in your face through the crack in the window.

“hey! you’re saying that like we all don’t pay our own fair share.”

“whatever. where are we going anyway.”

“somewhere.”

“no way. are you kidnapping me?” you dramatically gasped, putting a hand over your chest.

“stop talking or im dropping you off at the nearest insane asylum.”

—

after a good 15 minutes of driving, you realized soonyoung had taken you to the old park you used to always visit together, recalling all the fond memories while the rushed back to you when you first stepped out onto the grass.

you noticed soonyoung taking a smallish basket out the trunk before you connected the dots it your head — he had taken you onto a picnic.

“you coming? this basket isnt getting any lighter.”

soonyoung had brought all sorts of your favorite comfort foods, ranging from strawberry shortcake, to tteokbokki, and even spam musubi.

as you took a bite out of your slice of cake, you let out a little gasp as a bee danced around your fork, before eventually flying to crawl over your dress.

you immediately stood up to shake it off you, sighing in relief as you saw it fly away (thanks to soonyoung swatting it but youre an independent person)

“you’re that freaked out over a small bug?”

“it was a bee! i dont want it to sting me or get in my cake.”

“it only stings you if you attack it first.”

“you’re lucky i didn’t attack you. why are all the bees coming towards me and not you anyway?”

“guess the bees know who the real flower is.” he smiled, before digging back into his own food like it was nothing.

your heart melted at the little comment, but it was expected from soonyoung. you shouldn’t get all worked up from something so usual/normalized, you told yourself.

but if it was so normal, why was your heart beating so fast?

“that was a little sudden. what was that all about?”

“oh that? yeah i like you.” he shrugged like it was nothing, the words rolling off his tongue so naturally as if he was responding to the most obvious question in the world. like, what color is the sky, or, how the hell do you respond to your super cute best friend that you find attractive, saying he likes you but he just got you fired thrice??

you felt the air being knocked out your lungs, absolutely speechless.

“i only said it so naturally cause i know you don’t feel the same, you know,” soonyoung mumbled, seemingly reading your mind. “just kinda needed to get it off my chest.”

“soonyoung..”

“no i get it. i mean i can’t expect you to love me especially ive been such a bad friend. i knew you were struggling and yet i still got you fired. from three different jobs.”

“im really sorry.”

“no need, if anything i should be sorry.”

“you know i still really care about you, right.”

“course you do, its only natural, anyway”. he forced a smile, though he wasn’t quite sure what else he expected.

though, he supposed a small part of him was holding onto something, wishing maybe you could’ve been a little more.

coincidentally, you began to feel small raindrops against your finger tips. you looked up to see the once bright blue sky had turned gray and gloomy.

“that’s weird.. I don’t remember seeing any rain in the forecast..”

soonyoung immediately packed up everything as soon as he could the moment he felt the rainfall coming down harder and faster.

by the time he was done, you both were pretty drenched.

he dug through the neatly packed basket to grab his black denim jacket to wrap around your shoulders as he guided the two of you to the car through the rapidly shifting winds.

soonyoung was meant to drop you off, but you invited him in. despite all his personal protests, he still went in anyway.

you poured yourselves some red wine, sitting on the floor by the warm fireplace after the cold rain soaked you both.

“i dont know if it’s the wine talking but you are really attractive, even if i don’t see you the way you see me.” you slightly slurred.

“well. you know what they say, drunk words are sober thoughts.” he awkwardly chuckled.

“im sorry.” you drunkenly mumbled, your head tipping over to fall onto soonyoungs shoulder.

he quickly took your wine glass to put onto the coffee table behind you in order to avoid staining the fluffy white carpet.

“what for?”

“i still really care about you.”

“well. you’ll always be my sunshine in the rain, even if it’s only ever just as friends.” soonyoung whispered to you, pulling his jacket tighter over your shoulders while you let yourself be absorbed by your own dreamland.

[unauthorizedmagicians]

Season 1 Episode 3 - Consequences of Advanced Spellcasting

aka the episode we foreshadow the foreshadowing

i dont do slow like girl maybe u should

fogg with the og glasses is so funny like. i know. he gets better ones its just so

i forgot they get disciplines before the trials

professor march the man with absolutely zero lines

sunderland is holding brakebills on her back

wait nvm he does have lines

alice pouring 3 tons of sugar in her coffee lfsjkhdgsj

im conviced their cups are empty

let urselves in is my favorite thing they ported over from the books. josh hoberman taking 8 full hours like

GIRL WHAT IS THAT KEY FOR

margo is so cunty i love her. and then eliot stumbling over drunk

why is there a girl wearing the like uniform sweater. like nobody else is wearing merch except her

woof

q being a swift done me so wrong

julia bipolar headcanon? (i have bd)

garden variety haunting, band named called it

they need to stop doing stupid shit and then ppl would stop dying

book fucking pt 1™️

doing it without a net so u cut off all her resources. mhm. sure. jane and marina are foils but that's just me

"that wasn't so hard was it"

penny lives in the psychics hippie palace for like .2 seconds

penny traveler reveal

they really played up emily's like doe eyed bullshit

book fucking pt 2

eliots broken ass spanish lmfao

el just like rubbing the box with the books in them like sh sh sh ur home now

HE'S SO OVER Q'S INCEL BS ITS SO FUNNY

"u can't blame me" yes she can and she will

he was quite literally groveling not one episode ago i hate him

el's slow clap in the back like "congrats u fucked urself i called it"

"you've been a thin layer of insouciance over an open pit of self-pity your entire life" YOU TELL HIM FOGG

the fact that they put that nasty ass truck on this pristine set is hilarious

kady in shirts with slits up to her belly button. need i say more

foreshadowing the foreshadowing part 1 million 12 thousand 4 hundred and 2

BRO HOW DID SHE GET SO MANY STARS SO FAST

magic is drugs appearance pt 1

breakfast club reference teehee

"why do you think you had to save me?" FUCK

also girl u weren't close he just wanted u to join him

[castle-dominion]

c3x15 the final nail

At least the dog said “hey help, mom is dead” but wow those nails are brutal!

This is season 3. I can’t tell if s1 & s2 took place over one year or two, esp since s1 was short & at the end of s2 castle retired for the summer. Then he returned in s3. So yes, yes Ryan has already had a valentine’s day with Jenny.  JE: Lanie doesn’t care for that kind of stuff KR: kha, all women care. Beckett! You & Josh, u got big plans for valentine’s day, right? KB: Josh is a surgeon, I’m a cop. In the unlikely event that we have a couple hours free on monday night we might go to dinner.  JE: See?

(the boys just talking in there lol)

KB: Hey castle, it’s beckett, call me when you get this. JE: Ooh, castle is going to be sorry he missed this. KB: Why? JE: Society murders! Rich people are always the freakiest. 

Outfits are great. We have Beckett in her casual fancy outfit as usual, double breasted which is always nice; ryan with a black shirt, dark blue+black striped tie which we have seen before, & possibly a scarf there, nice grey jacket; then esposito with his fashionable dark green felted coat, grey scarf, looks like a jacket, & then another shirt. Layers. This man must be bisexual or trans to like all those layers. 

I like this gal explaining the scene. 

See? I told you. freaky. (beckett likes the weird ones)

The types. Esposito talks to gang cops & ryan talks to the people.  (sito used to be on gang squad) When did the ME leave?  Castle!? Why does this guy need to have a friend who is in with the nypd? Castle that promise is not yours to make.  Ricky shut it. You can say to him “she just needs to ask” & undermine her authority In Private. Not in front of the vic’s husband. Good to let them know personally. 

Yo castle! He sounds so happy to see castle. Hey you made it! What were those looks between beckett & esposito? RC: & I’m just speculating, maybe has some experience with nail guns?!!!

I love the way esposito pronounces his own name Esposito needs some hair btw. & today he is wearing what seems to be a darker green felt suit coat but it may be the lighting & it may be the same coat as last night. Then he is wearing a suit jacket underneath his coat, which (through the captions) I initially assumed was a vest.  Ryan has what looks like a double breasted coat & then a sweater. His dress shirt is ugly tho.  Dang that’s an expensive ring! Why would you get a piece of jewelry if you are not going to wear it? He’d be a millworker then, a cabinetmaker. Love a good trade.

These two literally just got here (btw ryan in fact does have a suit jacket underneath his coat) why are they putting Back On their coats? (Wait the inside of esposito’s jacket it blue! Oh now that’s nice! Sorry I apparently love costume design. I used to be really into musical scores but I’m going deaf & TV typically doesn’t have scores the same as movies. Then I was into camerawork for a while, being a DP seemed interesting.) (also uh twin moments puttin gon their coats) Castle idk why you decided to jump to the conclusion that their discomfort with you was bc it sounded dirty.  They just stole the coffees of beckett & castle!! & then you see esposito take a sip & ryan lift it to his mouth before trading in the background. Great detail. 

She cry-- She cried? I see beckett’s slavic language skills & social mirroring are still a thing. 

He is the reason Rick started writing. That & james bond.

That sounds relevant to the investigation castle. Also man got a vacation home in puerto rico? Dang I hate rich colonizers. 

Suddenly castle’s unshakable faith must not be so unshakable.

Or maybe not. Wow this is a shouting match.  Castle shut it. (looking thru the glass I can see ryan standing watching, talking with esposito. then they cut to him walking up) Oh wait Ryan is wearing jeans with his outfit. That’s a good note. KR: What’s going on? JE: Mom & Dad are fighting. (XD mom & dad) KR: Who’s winning? JE: *turns around to look at ryan instead of the fight* KR: *shrugs* Interesting framing. They usually have Ryan sitting while Esposito stands. This time it’s the other way around.  Both just pick up the phone & fake conversations XD WAIT DID YOU SEE RYAN PICK UP THE PIECE OF PAPER THEN FLIP IT BC IT WAS UPSIDE DOWN  & then esposito looks so soft for her... (the actors play it as if especkett have some history) btw ryan says “thanks bill” to his phone, he mentions in a later season that he usually talks to bill “over there” continuity <3

Castle’s ^-^ face.

I mean it would have surely been good for the kids. Is it more likely that he is not involved in both, is it more likely he is involved in both, or is it more likely is is involved in one not the other? If the latter, which one? Rank them. 

Good of him to apologize

*when his father was murdered. & also that money is gone.  What is a tennis bracelet? Why do ppl like them & why are they cher? She’s right castle.  Oh outfit update! Becket looks pretty as normal, castle is dressed the way he usually is, ryan looks good except for the tie, & esposito is wearing.. a hoodie? RC: Alright! Let’s go get this guy, huh? *slaps file back into esposito’s chest* JE: *looks at beckett confused & possibly angry* KR: *Looks at beckett with puppydog eyes* KB: Ok, go. I got it.  KR, short & strained: Thank you! *As he runs off* (won’t clip)

I love castle stuck in the back of the car Don’t u guys usually have one go around the other side in case he runs? Oh & there he goes on the truck. Good for him! Yo look at esposito running faster than the truck (it is still speeding up & in a small area) But why doesn’t one of them go get the car in case of a car chase?

woah that’s weird. U can just get a gun pulled on you in the usa. People should go back to the old fashioned way of fighting: fists & feet.  Oh hey I just noticed castle is in the interview room with espt  & ryan is not in the room.  Hun don’t say “If I were him I’d have killed her too just to shut her up” like my dude that is Not something you want to say. Ever. That’s why it was so weird to me when beckett told castle “I’m going to kill you” literally while on the phone with her boss

Castle HAS done an interview with esposito

RC: Yes but JE: ihyi! *holds up hand* Mum said you tell ppl to have a good game even if you are mad. Idk how much I believe her tho bc I have siblings.  KR: .. What’s in a playroom? RC: Not much more than a bed... (All three look at rick) RC: Yes I’m a member Girl you what

Confidentiality!!! Why did she come with them? She wasn’t arrested so did she request that they do this away from her place of work? How did the wife figure out that it was the desk lady specifically? That’s sus of him. That’s valid That’s also sus of him.

You don’t know him either castle.  Wow beckett that’s harsh but actually not harsh & she is very good for the soft explanation Wow that’s a story. Interesting & fluid change between he pronouns & you pronouns

I love alexis & martha.

They’ve had this conversation before. You should have told me.

Ok so since the captions are missing the spanish, I’ve put on the spanish sub. AH FRICK IT ISN’T CAPTIONING THE SPANISH BECAUSE IT ASSUMES I’M A HEARING PERSON, BRO I AM NOT PUTTING ON CAPTIONS BECAUSE I DON’T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE I AM PUTTING ON CAPTIONS BECAUSE I’M FRICKING DEAF. The french captions also do not have it written. I thought I might as well try. Ok it goes smth like this, but again I’m hoh & have audio processing issues, I also don’t speak spanish but I have romance language experience & google translate JE: hola, que haces siendo aqui?  - hi, what are you doing, being here? Blanca: Este loco [...] (I actually can’t tell, my ears are not good enough, my spanish is not good enough, & anything I put into google translate is wrong.) - This madman (idk) JE: Ah, Lo siento. Buena suerte.  - Ah, I’m sorry. Good luck. RC, not realizing they just laughed about how crazy & annoying he is: Yeah. I don’t know what...

Edit:  hola que estas haciendo aqui este loco me hizo venir con el // MADE ME COME WITH HIM lo siento buena suerte

Good that the first thing he does is acknowledge that they were right

Castle out here solving decades-old murders, huh

Heartfelt yet humorous!

AC: Dad, that case is older than me. & then she helps him with it, regular little detective!

Meh white sapphires are better than diamonds & ugh hearing him say silicon carbide, “silicon carbide is the hardest common abrasive grain, measuring 9.5 on the Mohs scale of hardness, very close to that of diamond.” It is found naturally as Moissanite & honestly looks better than diamond in some ways. Sorry I just really really love minerals & rocks. Silicon carbide is generally made in labs tho. White sapphires are actually more different to diamonds than silicon carbids & diamonds’ differences. White sapphires are still top notch tho. & tbh quartz, which is silicon dioxide, has a better structure to it imo. Hexagons are some of my fave shapes. & I mean quartz is still what a 7 on the moh’s scale of hardness? A lab grown quartz is better than any old rhinestone. Oh my goodness I’ve just realized how much time I spent reading & writing about this. Rocks are just so good. 

But richard castle believes in you & I believe in him. Yes you have damien. 

Love <3.  Rutherford scholarship?

KB: Guys, I hate admitting it, but castle might be right Oh & outfit update: Ryan is not wearing a tie with his cute sweater & esposito looks good in purple; purple shirt, purple tie. Beckett has a cute pink shirt.

KR: So, what did you decide about Lanie & Valentine's Day? JE: Oh. I'm gonna play it safe and show up with a gift. KR: Hm. JE: I found this little jewelry store that sells stuff, you know, that.. girlfriends like. (xd stuff that girlfriends like.) Necklaces, charm bracelets. What about you? What are you gonna do? KR: Oh, Jenny loves chocolate. *nods* JE: Jenny's planning her wedding. JE: Your girl's on a diet and you're gonna give her chocolate? (he’s right)

That was weird tho.  JE: Thought so. (to ryan) Let’s bring em both in.

Ah, very casual huh. Why would she say that tho? It incriminated her. Jolene! I’m begging of you please don’t take my man!

Kismet. Destiny, fate? Man’s got a nice shirt. 

No, No... He still has the map? Oh no, no this is so sad, no DX DX DX But hey Salazar is here again so that’s neat!

KB: "Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy." F. Scott Fitzgerald said that. RC: It must have been Ernest Hemmingway who said, "Man, I sure could use a drink right about now." [...] KB: U ok? RC: Yeah, I'm fine. KB, hitting him gently with her elbow: Liar

got all my clips. I actually rewatched this one & separated mustard/pennycress seeds at the same time

[artificialbreezy]

Jake Kiszka NSFW Alphabet

1Warnings: minors DNI, smut smut smut

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word count: 1464

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Biggest dom in the book man. So he obviously knows how to take care of you. He always has water on the bedside table, and a towel ready to wipe your face. After he gets you kinda cleaned up, he'll run you a shower and get you in and then jump in himself and wash your body, and then your hair. And he'll carry you to bed once he gets you cleaned up fully.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On you, it's definitely your legs, man he loves your legs. Firm believer in thick thighs saves lives. They're always so soft and comfortable for when he lays in your lap, but also amazing ear muffs for when he devours you.

On himself, the man plays guitar. His hands. He can move his fingers rather fast and he knows how much that drives you crazy. And plus, his hands just look good. Especially, wrapped around your throat.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Honestly, the man will ONLY cum inside you. He's a possessive man. It's his way of marking you as his. And my god, the view of his cum leaking out of you, just drives him up a wall. LOVES it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

His biggest fantasy right now, is to fuck in an empty concert venue. He knows it's a little risky, but something about the thought just gets him really going. But he also knows that there is never really a time to do that so for now he will keep daydreaming about it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's a rockstar so you'd think pretty experienced. But before you, he was a nerdy, emo kid from frankenmuth. So he really didn't get too much action. But he wasn't a virgin by any means when you two got together. He has always gotten you off, so he knows what to do.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Honestly, it depends on his mood. Sometimes it's doggie and other times it's missionary and then sometimes it's riding.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He loves a little bit of giggle if it's not a punishment session, or a rougher session.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Pretty well kept up to be honest. He doesn't keep it bare, but he does have a slight stubble.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

All about you, making sure you get praised. Sweet, and soft kisses along your jawline and neck. Gentle touches to your body, slow and sweet sex. Just making sure you feel loved.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Honestly, he'll do it if he needs to. Like if you're not there, or for some reason you're not in the mood. Other than that, if he does do it, he prefers to have you on facetime or a phone call so he can hear your noises as you guys get off together.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Man has a lot, here we go. But we'll do the top 3.

Breeding kink- he LIVES to see his cum dripping out of you

Daddy/Sir kink- he is 100% dom. And when in those sessions, he will only accept daddy or sir

Breath play- He loves hearing you struggle to breathe when his hands around your throat. And that smile you get when he first chokes you, my god he knows you're a slut for him and he loves it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Mainly the bedroom, he likes to have some sort of privacy when he ruins you. But he`s also pretty hype to fuck you on the couch.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your body, my god. He has never seen anything more perfect to him.

Watching you jam out against the barricade at his show. He knows you're gonna be drenched when he's done and he honestly can't wait to devour you once he's done. Thankfully he has a guitar to hide his boner.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

CNC. Absolutely not. He can't seem to get into that, it scares him a little bit and he wouldn't do anything to even hurt you like that. Whether you wanted him to or not. Hard no from Jacob Kiszka.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Man loves when you ride his face. Just having you grind against his tongue when he makes a mess of you, my god yes.

But if youre giving, man oh man, he loves the way your mouth feels wrapped around him. He doesn't know what you do or even how you do it, all he knows is he will nut in probably 5 minutes.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends. Sometimes he`s fast as fuck and rough and other times hes slow and sweet.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

YES. Just yes, sometimes he just needs to feel you before a show or even just while you guys are at his parents. He'll sneak into the bathroom while you're showering, just so he can get you off.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Absolutely, he`ll try mostly anything once, as long as you're game to try too.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last a while quite honestly. And you're not complaining. Usually that can equal up to 3 hours of a session.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

My god yes. He really doesn't use them on himself, just you. But only to tease you, never to fully get you off because that's his job. Unless he's not there. Then you have options on which toy youre feeling, on one condition, you call so he can hear you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He will tease you for hours, until you are so desperate he laughs. He calls you his pathetic little toy and my god that just sends you over the edge.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He always had to share a room with Josh growing up, and he's always with his band mates so he's typically pretty quiet. Unless you're alone. Then he's pretty vocal. But even when he has to be quiet, he'll get in your ear and whisper sweet nothings, or he'll degrade you and get you so far on the edge you're crying.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He was sitting on the tour bus one night while the guys were sleeping. It was around 3:30 in the morning and he just couldn't sleep. The only thing on his mind was you. So he did what he could, since he couldn't call and talk you through anything, he texted you. To which you replied. ``Baby, I can't get you off my mind. Can I please see you?`` is what the text read, you left him on read for a couple minutes so he thought you'd fallen asleep. To his surprise, he got a picture of your half naked body on his side of the bed, which just sent him over the edge. He needed to get off and he needed too soon. Before he could respond he got a video, it was kind of dark but he could make out that it was a toy between your legs, just going to town, trying to get yourself off. He quickly grabbed his headphones and started playing the videos. ``Oh god, please Sir.`` You sounded so desperate and needy. The minute he heard you moan his name he was done for. Mess all over his chest and he knew it was his turn to encourage you to get off.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Okay, so he isn't HUGE. But he is kinda packing. Around 7 and half inches with a slight curve.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Man is horny damn near 24/7. So any time you truly are in the mood, he jumps right on it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He usually falls asleep pretty quickly quite honestly. He'll pull you close to him after your guys` shower, and he'll just pass out holding you.

[catastrophe-at-sixteen]

strawberries and cigarettes (m)

Jungkook x reader

“For a biology project, you and your class are going on a field trip to collect evidence for your hypothesis. It is all going well until the dark haired nuisance called Jeon Jungkook decides to piss you off.”

Also - a nerd. The resident bad boy. The police. Annoying friends. A loose psycho killer. What could go wrong?

This is my first time ever uploading any fics !! im super nervous haha - i'll probably post a little of each one and see how it goes !!

Jungkook x reader.

This is your classic enemies to lovers but with a slight little twist!

This is set in the 80s/90s and is your typical bad boy/nerd girl trope- but , there is a killer on the loose. I mean this is kind of based on jack the ripper (serial killer) and my teenage fantasies of falling for bad boy jungkook. I hope you’ll give it a go and tell me what you think !!! <3

Tw : cursing, killings, descriptions of death and psychopaths, masturbation , making out, smut.

WC : 11K

also a big massive thank you to @ggukkiereads for helping me gain the confidence to write and dedicate time to finishing this ! ik its been a while since we spoke but much love to u angel <3 may u always have the best !

Begrudgingly the students lag off the bus at 10pm, finally having reached their destination.

Tired and sore from their journey the teachers find no trouble in distributing bedrooms for everyone.

When your name is called out along with Tiffany you internally groan - great you think one of the most plastic girls in the school all to myself.

You grimace but make no argument as you could have gotten worse you suppose.

As you grab your belongings and ignore her protests that she doesn't want to room with a loser like you, a dark clad figure pushes past you, almost tripping you over.

Angrily you shout

"Watch where you're going you prick"!

Yet he doesn't so much look in your direction.

Under the dim moonlight you can faintly make out the low blunt of a cigarette in a tattoo clad hand - so it was the infamous Jungkook.

Honestly you didn't understand why all the girls fawned over him when he was just a rude and ignorant asshole. Sure, he had a pretty face but no good soul to match.

Calming yourself, as it was unlikely that you'd ever receive an apology from the school rebel you just head to your new room.

The school had organised a biology trip so that you could gather authentic evidence on the correlation of birds and wood growth in a certain designated area and honestly you were excited- not having enough expenses to get out of town when you were younger meant that this was a treat for you and paired with you being a biology major your inner geek was surfacing pretty quickly.

You move into your room and begin unpacking your things ignoring the chatter coming from your new roommates.

You set everything nicely, precisely -just to your liking. Maybe some would call you fussy, but you like to think of yourself as organised and classy.

You don’t have many thoughts that night as you lay down for bed, but you do hear the news playing in the background.

" a killing has not been sighted for a time breaking the pattern of the 1-week intervals in which they have been happening, but police still advise to remain on high alert at all times. "

You shudder as you think about it, a killer on the loose in the country and everyone powerless to stop him.

He fed of the insecurities of people, the fear of not being safe. He did a damn well good job at it as well.

You look outside and see the police on night duty setting up, the country while terrified also was reluctant to admit the threat and instead of protecting you properly they had merely sent police force units as glorified bodyguards to ' keep you safe '.

You sigh, as you climb under your covers those problems seem like a long way away from you as you drift off with an empty mind.

It was morning, the sun was shining brightly through the windows giving an orange glow to the room.

You were up before your roommates, had brushed your teeth and were already preparing for your project.

You had to do well, you were depending on a scholarship for university, your family could simply not afford it otherwise.

When your first signs of morning hunger begin to strike you venture outside your room in order to satiate yourself. You find that it’s still quiet only a few students up like yourself, you find a coffee machine and immediately begin to make one for yourself.

“While you're at it could you make one for me too".

a deep voice drawls out.

You almost jump out of your skin at the sound his voice breaking the silence you had been enjoying. Jeon Jungkook.

You scowl at him, choosing to ignore him carrying on making your own cup.

He whistles under his breath.

“wow, edgy or a bitch? I can’t decide".

He taunts you.

You roll your eyes at him and sigh in annoyance, his eyebrows raise at this.

“you’re clearly not a morning person".

He speaks.

You mutter under your breath.

" or maybe I’m just not a YOU person, not everyone lives to be nice to you. "

He lifts his hands up in a mock surrender.

“Okay, okay I get it it's a bad time for you jeez.... I suppose I'll have to make my own coffee".

He moves closer to you, totally invading your personal space, clearly, he had never heard of a personal bubble! You scowl and try to move away but he’s faster and is hovering over you before you know it. He looks down at you with those pretty dark eyes.

They’re so gorgeous.

Not that it matters to you because he is still an asshole, and he still ruined your morning.

“get out of my face Jeon Jungkook".

You say between clenched teeth.

You’re not some sort of pushover.

Yes, you're clever, as society classes a nerd but you're not one to let people walk all over you.

If he’s shocked, he doesn’t let on, just hums and lets you walk away, which you do, a little aggressively. You got back to your room and let out a sound of annoyance, the girls are still sleeping.

You sigh.

This was going to be a long trip.

After an uneventful morning, the wait was over and finally the teachers had called you to gather in the common area. Much to your dismay however there would be no actual data collecting until the police had secured the area, which meant that your whole day was pretty much wasted. The other students were chatting and gossiping and being idiots as per usual.

It’s not that you thought you were better than them, it's just that they were so mundane, so lifeless. They were just living on with no sense of direction. You suppose that's what you get for attending a school for rich kids though.

You could never fit in.

So, you never tried. People took pity on you every now and then offered you a smile. You smiled back but that was it. Your thoughts are running and to clear your head you decide to go outside for a little breather.

There isn’t much, just a few abandoned train tracks that seemingly lead into nowhere, a few broken fences and lots of grass. Not much time after this you head to bed.

Finally, the day had arrived, you could collect your samples.

You are so glad that it’s an individual project because you honestly cannot even imagine working with one of those air heads.

You shudder at the memory of having to work with Taehyung last semester for a chemistry practical.

You had to basically pull all the weight for your grade.

So, you get on working your way through your work and proving or disproving your hypothesis.

You’re pleased at the work that you completed. Not entirely satisfied but satisfied enough, for now.

You let out a stiff yawn, you need to stretch and need a little fresh air since you had spent the last few hours writing up your data and making graphs to compliment them.

You forgo your jacket since the weather isn’t so bad.

It’s nice.

When you go outside there are quite a few students already there, goofing around. There is also a pretty scenery, that in all honesty you had not appreciated until right now.

“Wow" you mutter under your breath.

Maybe I should try living outside my own head sometimes.

You spot some students surrounding a police officer and the curiosity gets the better of you and your soon wandering around the outskirts of their conversation.

Alas, it was merely a fruitless conversation. The police officer telling the other about his escapades and how they will be good in hands.

You lose yourself to your own thoughts again and look at the scenery. Until a little scuffle, breaks you out of your thoughts.

“What was that? There was a movement down there!! “

A boy called Josh calls out.

The police officer had also noticed it, then a sound of a gunshot sounds through the air.

The police officers curse and begin to get ready to scout the area. They want you all to go away, be safe inside but you’re all young adults- you want to see what’s going on.

Everyone gathers, watching the officers.

You scan the area; you spot the balcony that looks over the area just in front of the cabins.

Perfect you think that’s the perfect spot to see what’s going on.

So, you begin to climb up the steps to that room, when you get there, you can see everything.

You see a dead dog, a dead bird and the gun which had killed them laid out to where the officers were heading.

Fear grips your heart; your heartbeat is erratic. You think you see the shape of figure retreating into the distance but before you can look again, you feel the ground give way under you.

You let out a shriek, feeling yourself falling.

Is this truly how my life end you wonder I didn’t even get to complete my PhD?

Yet, instead of the hard fall that your body had been anticipating; your landing is softer and lets out a low grunt.

You're sure you're dead and have entered heaven.

Slowly you register a warm feeling under your legs and a secure one at your waist.

oh, this feels nice.

you think, eyes still closed until you hear some chaos in the distance.

what's happening?

Why is heaven so noisy? Are they partying because I’ve arrived? Was I actually an angel all this time am I coming home?

Ah you think this must be the angels- I knew all those days spent doing charity would help me.

You open your eyes and you’re met with bambi eyes staring back at you.

Slowly you begin to piece the rest of your angel together.

“Jeon Jungkook? “

You try and raise your voice to compliment your surprise, but it comes out in a more whisper.

“But this, Jungkook, you were an angel all this time? “you say.

His eyebrows knot together in confusion.

“What are you talking about strawberry?”

You gasp.

"Do we all get code names in heaven? You’re a pretty angel Jungkook. “

Then your eyes zero in on the scar on his cheek.

“Aren’t Angel’s supposed to be blemish free? Is that? Are you fallen? Wait.... for me? Are you my angel Jungkook? “

His eyes, which had previously shown confusion are now coloured with amusement.

“You talk a lot don’t you my little strawberry”.

You vaguely hear the sounds behind you before you begin to feel drowsy and fall limp the arms of your unexpected angel.

Jungkook was, of course no angel, your delirious ass was just doing and saying delirious things. You were going to be mortified when you woke up.

When you come to your room in a dark room, tucked into a warm bed. Your headaches aches as if someone is using a sledgehammer to hit it every second.

‘Agh’ you let out a pained groan.

What even happened? you wonder in your head.

You move quickly, getting out of bed ignoring your protesting limbs.  You almost reach the doors until a pair of arms trap you.

‘woah woah where do you think you're going?’

You let out a scream, completely startled. A hand comes to cover your mouth.

‘man, you really do have a set of lungs, don’t you? ‘

You stop struggling in his embrace to match his voice to a face. Its familiar.

‘Jeon Jungkook?’ you let a little unsure and panic still evident in your voice.

‘your one and only’

You frown.

‘mine?’

He smirks at you,

‘that's right yours strawberry’.

You shake your head.

‘are you smoking something? Are you high right now?’

He pouts a little then, it changes his look completely. He looks a little cute.

‘you don't remember? ‘ he cocks his head to the side and points to himself. ‘I'm your angel’.

You scoff.

‘Please in what world are YOU an angel? You're far from it’.

Then it all comes back to you.

Jungkook watches as the realisation begins to show on your face.

‘Oh my god I had a concussion, you cannot be serious right now ‘

He chuckles.

'The words still came out of your mouth' Jungkook counters, he leans closer to you, his face way to close for your liking.

You feel your face grow warm from his proximity, but you don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

You scoff and push him away.

‘You're insane’.

He accepts the distance you've placed between the two of you and he chooses to smirk at you from where he is standing.

‘And you're crazy for me’.

You let out an incredulous laugh, not believing him.

‘Oh, my lord, please shut up for the sake of my sanity’.

He chuckles at your flustered state and you scramble your brain to find a change of subject.

‘okay whatever now just excuse me because I need to go back to my room’.

You move to begin walking to the door, but his voice halts your movements.

‘This is your room now’.

You whip around to face him.

‘What?! Ha as if Jeon, why would they room us together- were supposed to separate for the opposite genders- which I totally get when you're involved’ you say disbelief painting your voice. You whisper the last part though.

He puts his hands into his pockets and shrugs.

‘Protection?’

You set him a hard stare.

‘Save your lame ass men superiority talks for someone else i am having a severe case of I'm not interested’.

Why the hell would you need Jungkook for protection, it reeks of patriarchy and you hate it.

He shrugs.

‘Listen princess I don't know why either really to be honest but I'm not complaining-’

You don't bother entertaining him for much longer.

This can't be true. You cannot be paired into a room with him. He cannot be your new roommate - heck now tiffany doesn't seem so bad. Flirting asshole, you mutter under your breath as you begin searching for your teacher.

You only learn a bitter truth, due to the collapsing of the room you had to be relocated into another room and the only person without a roommate was Jungkook. They ‘trusted’ you enough that you would be able to handle it and not to do anything you were not supposed to.

‘We trust you, y/n’ was what she had told you.

You spend your time cursing out both her and Jungkook as you gather your belongings to move into your new room.

You're so caught up in your own thoughts that you don't notice a foot that comes out to trip you.

You look up and see the faces of three stupid bitches.

Tiffany Jessica and Irene.

They seemed to consider themselves above everybody else, though you've no idea why. Aside from flawless looks they seemed to live pretty empty life in your eyes. They were living definitions of empty shells walking around.

You get up quietly from the ground, you'll gain nothing from engaging with them, maybe you'd lose a few brainless. You just want to go back and rest - your head is killing you.

But to your disappointment they begin to talk.

‘Well, well well, if it isn't the school's new slut moving into MY boyfriend's room’.

You have to let a little laugh at this. This one is seriously deluded. Jungkook didn't do relationships you knew that. Everybody knew that. They had hooked up about 3 months ago and even though he does his best to ignore her she still insists that he is her boyfriend. It's just pathetic and a bit sad you suppose. Her obvious attraction to him which he just does not reciprocate.

She becomes enraged at your actions.

‘listen here you little bitch you better not even think of starting anything with my man-’ she spits out at you.

You snap back then, unable to hold your tongue.

‘I am not a slut, and I will not go after your man- which fyi  he is not. He is a human and he doesn’t belong to you he never has’

She grows red at your words.

‘you little piece of shit-’

She raises her hand but just then a voice interrupts her and she halts her actions.

‘well if it isn't my new roomie, l’ll take that from you strawberry’ Jungkook says, too cheery for your liking, your still contemplating hitting Jessica.

Jessica begins speaking up, but he ignores her turning to you.

Your mouth almost drops open at his dismissal of Jessica but then again, she is annoying, and he cannot be immune to that.

‘Jungkoooook’ she whines when he doesn’t respond to her the first time.

He still doesn’t entertain her.

He moves to take your things from you, but she speaks again, latching onto his arm.

‘just leave her -cshe's just an annoying stuck-up bitch’.

He responds to this under his breath laughing.

‘reminds me of someone ’

She doesn't understand his comment.

‘huh?’ she says almost comically.

‘who baby?’ she pouts at him ‘my poor baby having to deal with such people, just leave with me and we can-’

‘no’ he sets her with a hard stare.

It's like she has forgotten that you're there, so you decide to use this to your advantage, letting Jungkook deal with them. You move to get your suitcase, but a hand stops yours. Its Jungkook.

‘I don’t think so strawberry - I'll be getting those for you’.

You turn to look at him scowl adorning your features.

‘I don’t need your help Jeon’.

He smirks at you.

‘no no - I insist’.

He dismisses Jessica with a wave of his hand and begins to walk away your suitcase in his hand, which prompts you to follow along.

‘What. Was. That. Jungkook?!’ you say when the door closes, you’re fuming because he had made it seem as though you were dating or doing things together which meant that they would keep bothering you, which is just something that you don’t want.

He turns around to face you.

‘oh, don’t get your panties in such a twist, I just needed to get the fuck away from her’.

He sounds angry and this is the Jungkook that you are more accustomed to. Not the flirty one you have been seeing. Hopefully he had given up on whatever he was trying to achieve with that. He was a rude asshole who was just to used to seeing things come out in his favour.

‘excuse me, you just fuelled her whack ass thoughts and next time don’t use me as your escape route’ you say matching his hostile tone.

‘oh, don’t be such a priss, it saved you as much as it saved me’.

An exasperated noise escapes your throat.

‘well maybe you should have kept it in your pants lover boy’.

He sets you with a hard stare.

‘oh, shut up - you don’t know me’ he grits out.

You cock your head to the side much like he had done to you earlier in the day.

‘hmmm I think I know you pretty well Jungkook, you're not as unreadable as you like to think, Jeon Jungkook the infamous bad boy who uses girls to fuel his ego and is used by girls to fuel their own ego and status quo among their own stupid--’

You do not get to finish you sentence however because you're harshly being pinned to the door. His grip on you is hard and it stings but you meet his gaze.

‘shut the fuck up y/n’ the tone of his voice is almost carnal, animal like.

You seriously had hit a nerve.

‘I go beyond your perceptions of me- you little miss goody two shoes’.

You spit back in his face.

‘I've yet to see you act more like a crazed rabbit Jungkook and to be honest I don’t plan on finding out the depths of your character either. I don’t fucking care about you’.

You push him aside and move to unpack your suitcase.

He mutters something under his breath that you can't hear, and he walks out slamming the door behind him.

‘well, that was fun’ you say and begin to take out your notes and books that you will need through the day.

When you wake up the next you feel like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. The painkillers had given you the illusion that you were okay. You look a mess, you're tired, you cannot believe that this happened.  You had been looking forward to this for so long, they had told you that another student would be collecting your data. Your new roommate. Jeon Jungkook. He was going to be collecting your data.

This is preposterous! He would probably sabotage you on purpose! This cannot happen, but they wouldn’t budge from their choice. You huff as you look out of the window, where you could be collecting your data along with the other students. Darn you and your curiosity.

They always did say didn’t they- that curiosity killed the cat.

Your walking around the room, pacing- that’s how bored you are. You had reorganised your things 3 times and colour coded all you notes, redrew your graphs, you had done everything that you thought would keep you busy but here you are sitting with nothing to do.  You look around the room see Jungkook's things laying on the ground.

You sigh into the empty room again and just lay down waiting for them to come back. You end up falling asleep.

You're stirred from your sleep, quite rudely by a book being thrown at the foot of your bed. You sit up, still groggy and look at Jungkook.

‘what the hell man’

He stares at you blankly.

‘There's your work priss’

You're not bothered by his hostile tone instead open the book and seeing what he had done, or you suppose looking at it what he had not done. The more you look at the work the more the frown on your face deepens.

‘what the hell is this Jungkook?’

He looks up at you annoyed.

‘the work? Thought you were meant to be a genius?’

You scowl at him.

‘this Jungkook? Is unacceptable a nursery kid could do way better than this !’

He rolls his eyes at you.

‘and? That’s what you're going to get priss so deal with it’.

You make an exasperated sigh.

‘you've used the wrong measurement and everything Jungkook’.

‘look - I don’t care. I didn’t want to do this for you anyway’.

‘like I wanted YOU to do it for me’.

You sigh,

You keep bumping into him everywhere, you know he is your roommate but he is always there at the cafeteria taking the last donut which you had been craving pushing in line, making unnecessary comments and he makes the room so messy!

It’s the same thing for the next few outings, Jungkook comes with the same half assed versions of the data you need.

You try, you really you try so hard to use the data sets he provided but its no use. They're absolutely useless, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Your going to sneak out early in the morning, you have to sneak past the guards which as you’ve gathered won't be as hard as one may think because they are not good or much invested in their job anyway.

You prepare yourself and head to set out in the morning. You quietly get up so as not to disturb or wake Jungkook. If he sees you, you know that there will be trouble.

You throw on a hoodie and grab a notebook, a pen and your watch. You have to be back before anyone can notice that you're gone.  You steel yourself one last time, giving yourself a pep talk and sneak out. You hold your breath as you walk past the room of your supervisor and out the back door of the cabins.

This isn't so bad you think. Once you're out of sight of the guards and you think your safe, you let out a sigh of relief and do a little shimmy out of your happiness. You are so pleased and proud of yourself. What you didn’t know that behind you, watching your every move was a boy covered in tattoos with a cigarette in his hand watching you with an amused face.

Jungkook was, not as you thought asleep when you had snuck out. He was also outside, leaning on the side of the building a cigarette in his hand, he couldn’t sleep that night, it happened to him on most nights so he routinely wakes up to have a smoke. On this particular day there is not the usual eerie morning silence that he is used to, but a few grunts and hisses to accompany it. He furrows his brows.

Is that? He thinks y/n!?!?!?!?!?

No way he thinks what the hell is she up to?

Then he catches sight of your notebook and pen.

'Oh, what a nerd' he mutters under his breath. Then he smirks.

He can totally use this to his advantage.

He stubs his cigarette, pulls his hoodie over his head and follows you.

Your heart is still racing you honestly cannot believe that you. l/n f/n are doing this.

‘What a badass’ you say into the silence.

‘Badass? Sneaking out to do bloody work is your idea of badass?’ a voice speaks up behind you.

You shriek startled and are met with Jungkook.

Why is it always him?

‘what in the bloody tarnation's.... are you trying to kill me Jungkook?!’ you say putting your hand on your heart.

He grins pleased at the reaction he had elicited from you.

He cocks his head to the side.

‘what the hell are you doing here ?!’ you hiss at him.

‘could ask you the same thing strawberry’ he replies.

You look at him.

You were so sure that you had been quiet, how could he be here to ruin everything.

‘you do realise that I actually have name, and it's not strawberry’ you say to him.

He shrugs.

‘Yeah but you always smell like them’.

You scoff;

‘and you always reek of cigarettes.’

He frowns but then asks you again.

‘what are you doing here?’

You think of excuses,

‘I'm - I'm on a walk’ you say.

He lifts his eyebrow up.

‘a walk?’

You nod.

‘that's right for my daily exercise its been a pain to be stuck indoors’.

He snorts.

‘you're on a walk with your graph paper pad and pencil case?’

You curse inside your head.

‘yeah I am a nerd after all’ you say, hoping and praying that he’ll just let you go on your way.

He doesn’t

‘I don’t know, you look awfully suspicious to me, do tell why you're heading to the sight of our data collection points when the trail track is in the opposite direction?’ he says.

You rack your brains for an answer.

‘well, I like an adventure’ you say, standing straight.

‘oh, is that so?’ he says laughter infiltrating his tone.

‘yes’, you say meeting his eyes.

‘hmm’ he says ‘I don’t believe you’ he says.

‘do you wanna know what I think?’ he continues.

He takes one step closer to you.

‘I think that our resident miss goody two shoes is sneaking off when told specifically that she can't’ his gaze burns into yours

You feel yourself going red out of embarrassment.

‘I literally have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook' you say breathless.

He leans closer and you can feel his body heat, he continues to bore his eyes into your own and you almost fall into his gaze until you feel your book being snatched out of your hand.

‘HEY!’ you say reaching for it.

But he holds it higher than himself, opens it to the last written on page.

‘new data collection points’ he reads out ‘and oh would you look at that ! It has todays dates written on it’ he says looking down at you with a squint in his eyes.

You huff.

‘well obviously I had to do this because how on earth could I let your lame ass results and data reading be used for my final piece – I'm not looking to fail’ you say venom laced in every word.

He scowls at you.

‘there was nothing wrong with my results princess’ he grits out.

‘oh, please save it’ you snap back ‘you didn’t even use the same measurements – your hopeless’.

‘well, if I'm so fucking useless you should do my work for me’ he says.

You set him a level stare.

‘what?’

‘you heard me’ he says with a roll of his eyes.

‘and why in the hell would I do that? I don’t care if you fail Jungkook, heck I don’t care if you get kicked out’ you tell him.

He shakes his head.

‘well, I mean I could go back right now and tell Miss Taylor-’ he begins.

You narrow your eyes at him.

‘You wouldn’t dare’.

He holds a staring contest with you.

‘oh, wouldn’t I?’ he says.

You both hold each other's gazes before you give in.

You cannot believe the audacity of this asshole.

‘fine whatever asshole’ you say folding your arms and turning around.

He grins in victory and places your notebook back into your hands.

‘chop chop partner get to it’ he says.

You glare at him.

‘partners pull equal weight Jungkook ‘

He rolls his eyes.

‘I don’t really care – you just need to get a move on’.

You turn around no longer wanting to deal with his annoying ass.

You make it forward a few steps before you stop and turn around.

‘why are you following me?’  you ask him.

He rolls his eyes at your apparent dumbness.

‘well smartass, there is a killer on the loose if you didn’t know’.

You freeze up for a second,

Shit

You had almost forgotten. You don’t let him see that you're scared.

‘and? ‘ you say feigning composure.

‘what the hell are you going to do if he pops out of the woods anyway?’

He shrugs.

‘I dunno actually a lot more than you could do anyway’

You stare at him.

‘I could be a black belt in karate for all you know’.

He laughs.

‘okay princess whatever - I just need to make sure that you're not going to fuck this up’.

So, you turn going to the place you need to, to collect your data pieces.

With having to do Jungkook's work as well, it takes a lot longer to complete than you would have liked.

He is surprisingly bearable in the mornings that you both sneak off though. He doesn’t say much. Just watches you – pretends he isn't though.

You catch him once. Its been about 2 weeks since you started this godawful task, and Jungkook's notes and work were in dire need of help so its taking you time. This time however you meet his gaze before he is able to pull away.

You cock your head to the side.

‘what are you staring at?’ you say placing your hands on your hips.

He says something inaudible under his breath.

‘what was that?’

He snaps at you.

‘do you think you have tie to stand around making idle talk with me? The work ain’t going to do itself princess.’

You huff in annoyance.

How dare he! This was just plain wrong anyway I should not even be doing this, but you knew it was the only way. You couldn't risk getting caught and with Jungkook you wouldn't be surprised if he really did rat you out you to all the teachers. And if he did well, you wouldn’t be receiving a very good reference.

It was during an early morning that you hear Jungkook walk off into the distance. Probably to smoke, such a bad habit you tsk.

But you're also done for the day – so you begin to head back on your own.

You feel the grass brush against your feet as you walk back. You’re humming along to that song that was always on the radio, when you hear it. A little whimper - then a cry. You know that you shouldn’t go to look, you know that you're paying for your curiosity already and you don’t need another thing to happen, but you just cannot help yourself!

You follow the sound, going on a detour from the track.

You do consider yourself somewhat of a badass but a serial killer? Yeah, they kinda scare the shit out of you. You hold your breath and walk as quietly and slowly as you can. You hear the whimper again to your left but its deeper into the woods.

As you walk closer you see a pool of blood - your eyes widen, and your heartbeat becomes erratic.

‘what the fuck?’ you whisper into the silence.

You walk closer to the body of the animal and you can feel your knees grow a little weak you can see a white paper which has been tainted red with the blood of the animal that was killed.

You gasp, taking it up in your hands. Your hands also become stained with the redness.

It's in Morse code.

-.-- --- ..- / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / -... . / .-- .- -. -.. . .-. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / .- .-.. --- -. .

(YOU SHOULDN'T BE WANDERING OUT ALONE)

You look at it for a while and rack your brains to be able to translate it but no such look. Your mind is busy running at 100miles per hour. As you try and clear your head and look at the note one more time, but a noise in the distance pulls you way from any semblance of concentration that you could have obtained.

You frantically look around trying to locate where the sound had come from. Your senses are all on a high right now. You shove the piece of paper into your pocket and begin to go back the way that you came. After the first few steps you begin running your head running wild with the idea of being found dead in ditch. Your nearly at the main path which you had strayed from. You make it onto the path, and you bend over catching your breath when two arms encircle you from behind.

You let out a scream.

A hand is placed over your mouth.

‘shut the fuck up y/n’.

You recognise THAT voice. Its Jeon Jungkook. Why is this motherfucker always trying to scare you? Your turn around and hit him on the chest,

‘what the actual hell Jeon, you gave me a bloody heat attack and a half’.

He doesn’t respond. He is looking at you, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes have a glint of anger. He is furious.

‘where the fuck did you go y/n?’ he says, he holds your wrist stopping you from hitting him again.

He holds it in the air holding your gaze.

‘I was.... walking back’ you didn't want him to know what you had found. He would probably tell you it was a bad idea to even translate it. Which it was, but what is life if not for taking risks?

You yank your hand from his grasp.

He looks at you an unreadable expression on his face.

“you’re a fucking liar “he says.

You scoff.

“oh please, what’s it to you anyway jungkook, you left me first “

He doesn’t say anything, but observes you, trying to look for signs of what you’re hiding.

He had found one too, a dead animal and a note written in Morse.

But he could read it and he knew he was in trouble

“Be careful, or your little girlfriend may be snatched from right under your arms “

He swore under his breath as he read it and immediately began to make his way back to you.

“strawberry?” he calls out but you’re not there.

You’re not there and he hates the feeling of dread that sits in his stomach.

He runs back the way you came, but he still finds no trace of you

“fucking hell where did she go?”

He almost gives up and is going to tell the police when you appear before him, out of breath and you look terrified.

He knows you’re lying, if you were where, you said you were, he would have seen you.

He narrows his eyes at you again.

“I left for two seconds and you ran off. Where the fuck did you go? “

He asks, he wants you tell him, needs you to, he’s overcome with this sense to protect you but you don’t trust him. He needs to change that.

He lets you believe that you have him fooled, that he believes your story and he begins to walk back to the cabins right before the call for breakfast is sounded. You follow after him breathing in a sigh of relief that he had believed you.

That night you find it difficult to sleep. You need to find out the meaning of the Morse code, but you don't have access to a book that will help you translate, meaning that you will have to ask around without looking too suspicious.

You decide that a police officer would do nicely, if you seem overly invested in their job, they would just give you the information.

You spot the officer who looks younger than most, you remember his name.

Park Jimin.

You approach him cautiously.

“Officer park?”

He turns around to face you, smiling softly.

Oh, he’s cute you think.

“yes miss?”

You smile at him warmly.

“nothing serious it’s just that I was wondering if you would like some company, it must be a little boring for you out here on your own “

You say to him and you’re glad you asked him because either way his face breaks out into a smile that has your heart fluttering.

“how very kind of you miss! And yes, a little company wouldn't hurt “, he grins at you.

As you strike up conversation, with the officer you fail to notice a figure dressed in black listening in on your conversation. Jungkook listens in as you try and get information out of officer. He knew it. You had also come across the same note, as he had. He wonders what yours said.

He leaves after a bit, leaving both of you oblivious to the fact that he was even there in the first place.

When you get back to your room, you see Jungkook sitting at the foot of his bed frown on his face.

You ignore him and write down the information you'd just got given by Officer Park. You felt a little bad manipulating him when he was so nice but you just had to know what it meant.

Jungkook speaks up.

“that was a nice conversation you were having with Officer Park “

He says,

You whip you’re head up to look at him and closing your notebook harshly.

“What? Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”

He rolls his eyes

“Why would I be listening to the conservation of the school nerd with a cop? No, I just happened to hear in passing “

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.

“That’s mighty rude of y-" you begin to retort before he cuts you off

“what’s a biology nerd like you need with Morse code?” He asks.

Your mind malfunctions for a moment until you bring yourself back together.

“A little extra knowledge hurts no one you know?” you say appearing nonchalant.

He narrows his eyes

“I know it”

You look at him

“you do?”

He nods,

“why need something translating?” he tries.

You think about it, but ultimately decided against showing him the note you found.

You have no clue what it says. You don’t want him understanding before you do.

You shake your head,

“No, I don’t “

You say, deciding enough is enough and you need to sleep now to be up in the morning.

The next morning you sleep in, meaning that you couldn’t do the work that was set out for you. You stretch and moan as you get out of bed when you sit up and open your eyes fully your locks onto the Bambi ones from across the room. You let out a shriek!

‘What the hell why were you watching me you creeper!’ you say pointing a finger at Jungkook.

He rolls his eyes at you.

‘oh, please don’t flatter yourself’.

‘why didn’t you wake me up? Its so late !’ you question him.

He looks at you and says words that you don’t think that you would hear.

‘I think that we should lay off for a bit strawberry’

You look at him in shock

‘but why!?’

He doesn’t really give you much of an answer in his usual Jungkook manner.

You sigh.

Over the next few weeks, you rarely bump into Jungkook, you see him sometimes in the cafeteria and you can always feel him just watching you it makes you grow warm when you notice his staring.

Jungkook is also going crazy. You drive him crazy.

You guess that you'll have to work at the same pace as everyone, truthfully you had actually caught up with your work that was missed a while ago, you were just doing extra readings to stay ahead. One step ahead of everyone. But you guess that that is going to be changed now.

It had been a while since you had been on your morning trips with jungkook and though you hate to admit it, you kind of missed it.

He wasn't as bad company as you thought he would be, he was oddly quiet which meant that without him talking as much, you really got to admire his beauty. And good lord was he handsome, you understand why people are attracted to him, when his mouth is closed, he’s fine. Basically, you became a little horny when you saw him, it had been ages since you had had sex even masturbated, since you now had room with him.

Jungkook has such strong sharp features which sometimes go all soft, if he pouts while he’s thinking or a bird catches his attention, his eyes will go big and doe like. It's cute. Everybody had two sides you suppose, yours was your horny side (lol what)

Okay maybe, more time to admire him was a bad thing, you did not need to have sexual fantasies with him, no, that was a big no no.

It's been a few weeks since Jungkook had asked you to lay low for a while and in that time, you had been asking around about the killer to the police. You tried your best not to seem suspicious about it though, if they caught on – well it wouldn’t exactly end well. So, you make slow progress, you did make progress though, however.

You could now understand the note and while it scared you, it also ignited something in you that you didn’t even know that you possessed inside of you. You wanted to outdo him, you want to find him, lead him into a trap or something like that anyway. You want to catch him.

Something in the back of your mind is telling you begging you to stop being so stupid, but you ignore and continue to daydream about catching this bastard.

But it can only cure your boredom for a while – you get bored and what better to do when you're bored than to read erotica novels?

You had packed this book with you – the secrets of the alluring painter in France. You had taken to reading at night time on some nights.

Like tonight.

You need a wind down, so you pull out your book, and it has such racy scenes that leave you clenching around nothing.

Your sexual imagination goes wild when you read the erotica in the book and the way they make it seem so fiery, you were no virgin - you knew what sex was like, but never has it been close to the way it is in the book.

You’ve allowed yourself to fall into this horrible habit, at night, when Jungkook is asleep to touch yourself, play with yourself, pretending it is you who is being touched by Kim Taehyung the painter with many secrets.

You feel yourself growing more frustrated with each passage you read, it becomes a little irritating and, you have to touch yourself or you'll go crazy, the man in the book was doing it so well, so hot.

Kim Taehyung, he was described as an utter beauty, soft black hair and soft eyes, a deep voice that just made the reader swoon, you close your eyes and reach your hands down to your shorts, they slip past the hem.

You wish you could moan, wish that you could be vocal, like you were in your bedroom when it was just you and your pillow, but there was one big problem and that was Jeon Jungkook.

Why did you have to room with him?

You lighten your breathing and listen for signs of him being awake, but he seems to be breathing really deep, he is asleep you assure yourself.

You turn the lamp off, at the side of your bed, setting the book on the bedside table.

You trail your hand down your stomach, much like Taehyung had done to the main character, he slowly lets his fingers flutter over the top of her shorts, and you do the same. You build the tension, like it's his beautiful hands working against you.

You pause and let your fingers slip past the hem of your panties, you trace over the fabric covering you - first over your mound, stroking sensually.

How had Taehyung done it?

Right yes, he had used his nails slightly and grazed over lightly, a slight pressure but nothing that hurt - it was just enough to make you squirm under your own touch.

You feel your own wetness, feel how obscene it is in the darkness of the night.

Jungkook is right there, and while it scares you, it also thrills you, you feel a new wave of arousal and adrenaline when you remember he is there.

Slowly and as quietly as possible you shuffle, moving to take your shorts off, it's a little loud but you think that you're okay, Jungkook is out like a log.  After a moment you continue to tease yourself.

Running your fingertips over your lips, pressing down on your hole and clenching, withholding the need to hiss.

You raise your hand further and your fingers land right at the centre of your pleasure.

Your clit. Oh, the beautiful bundle of nerves.

You cover your mouth with a hand to stifle the moan that you almost let out when you begin to rub small circles around the sensitive nub.

When you can’t get enough your panties are next to go, and when the cold air hits your wet centre you have to hold your breath, shaky.

You reach down and gather your slick slowly, spreading it all over your centre, making yourself drown in your own arousal, you use your middle and ring finger to slide up and down at a pace that leaves you edged and eager for more, you need to bring yourself to the very edge to get yourself the release that you’re after, you free hand travels up to your ever sensitive boobs, you play with them, brushing over the nipple, making them perk and then groping them while you rub at your clit.

A dirty thought crosses your mind, when you remember the boy who was asleep across from you.

What if, he was the one to touch, the one touching you, with those beautiful hands of his, those big hands.

You stifle another moan, as you think about him, hovering over you, giving it to you just right. You had heard that Jungkook could actually make a girl cum while having sex, that made you a little interested. It’s just he always opens his mouth and is an ass and ruins everything. But right now, in your imagination, only his looks and reputation matter, you twist and turn his character to be someone that you can gain pleasure from.

You can the pleasure increase and you begin to fasten your speed until you feel the signs of your orgasm and then you pull away. Edging yourself.

Your breathing is a little heavy and your work on controlling it, both your hands go to fondle your breasts and you unconsciously lift your hips, humping the air, you lean down again and enter three fingers easily into your own heat.

The squelching sound heard is deafening in the silent room, your cheeks burn red and you pull out slowly, so that was a no no, you would have to focus on your clit for you orgasm. Which was fine because you were so sensitive from playing with yourself, you know that it would only take a few more strokes to get there.

You press the fingers that were just inside of you, against your sensitive bud and you rub in slowly circles and then fastening your place and then slowing once more.

Jungkook comes into your mind again, ugh, now his lips, his pretty pink lips and the way he licks them, and the way they glisten under the sun. What if they were attached to your clit, if he was using his face to give you pleasure, like Taehyung had done to the main character of the novel, God it was so filthy.

Its driving you insane and you love it, the frustration will only make your release all the more powerful.

After a while you feel the fire blooming in your bottom of your stomach, and you quicken your pace to the point where you feel light and the waves of pleasure rack over your whole body.

You press your hand to your mouth again to conceal the gasps that are escaping you, you sigh and fall back onto your pillow feeling so much better and lighter.

Gosh did that feel good. You were aware that in your mind alarms were going off in your mind. You had thought of Jungkook while masturbating. It was a line you have no idea why you crossed. How would you look him in the eye now?

After a while, you pull up your panties and shorts and you promise yourself a shower in the morning.

What you didn't know was that the raven-haired boy of your fantasies was in fact awake and now painfully hard as he listened to your filthy little moans and gasps, he grabs his own member in his pants, strokes slowly. He spreads the pre-cum over his member before setting the fast pace that he liked, his breaths through his nose – to conceal the way his breathing has become strained. His hair becomes damp from sweat and it sticks to his forehead. He came much faster that he would care to admit the thought of you right there yet unreachable the fact that you were so NAUGHTY under all that good girl.

Turning him on, making him needy.

He breathes heavy, thinking of you under him as he squirts out cum into his pants, Jungkook too showers in the morning after you.

After this Jungkook stays up at night, listening to you, seeing if you would do it again, you do and, on those nights, Jungkook cums at the same time as you. He feels a little pathetic, he knows that he can fuck a lot of girls in the class right, but it wasn't you, God he wants it to be you writhing underneath him.

It’s the next morning and you're getting ready for your shower.

You're gathering your clothes and shampoo and creams into a little bundle and are about to open the door to the shower, when it is opened for you. The song that you were softly humming gets stuck in your throat when you register that the door was opened by Jungkook.

A very naked Jungkook.

Your face grows red, and your eyes wander over his gorgeous body, the tattoos that trail up his arm and a few on his waist, God they looked amazing.

Your ogling comes to a stop when he clears his throat. Oh, shit you think - I was staring. You quickly look up and your eyes meet Jungkook's.

He is smirking at you and as soon as you meet his gaze, he lets his own wander over body – taken in the skin that was exposed in your pyjama shorts and a t-shirt that had been small for you since you turned 13 years old.

He looks up and down your body brazenly before meeting your eyes. He licks his lips, and you zero in on it. God it was so annoying that he was this hot.

How could this be happening now? When you had spent a while avoiding him? And him you? Why did this happen after you were thinking of him last night? Oh god you grow red again and you think what if he had heard you? God, that would be embarrassing. You look at his lips again, avoiding his gaze again but maybe his eyes would have been a better option because as soon as you look at his lips, the same filthy thoughts come back to you - you shift uncomfortably trying to calm yourself. In that time, you don't notice but Jungkook has come closer to you.

You register his closeness when a water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek. You move away slightly.

You don’t realise it but in your extended silence of checking each other out the both of you have moved closer to each other. There is no longer what people would call a healthy distance between the two of you anymore. He looks down at you and licks his lips again. His hair is wet and the way he runs his hand through it – he looks so good like this. Your dirty thoughts run wild again. Its only when another water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek that you finally snap out of it. You move a step back.

“You look a little hot strawberry is anything the matter?” He asks you, a teasing lilt on his voice.

It’s way too early for this, you cannot be dealing with this right now, not when your mind has gone on a memory flashback to last night and he was right here in front you, so very naked.

Still, you feign your ever composed self.

“I’m just fine” you say through gritted teeth.

“I need to shower and your kind of standing in my way” you tell him.

He chuckles, a deep chuckle, gosh how are you this horny in the morning? Stop it y/n you think.

“I don't think you really mind though do you strawberry, you seem to have a very different secretive side” he says, cocking his head to the side.

You blush, shit had he heard you?

“I have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook” you say to him “I need to shower though”.

You move to get away from his hearted stare but just before you enter the washroom, a hand grabs onto your wrist and pulls you back.

Jungkook looks at you, a deep and confusing stare.

“Be careful, it’s quite wet in there” he says and then his tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Then suddenly, he lets you go and walks off to his side of the room, your left in shock at his words and quickly scurry to get into the bedroom before more heated tension breaks through.

You shake your head of all thoughts and quickly go into the shower, what you don’t realise is that you accidently drop something, the note with the raven-haired boy who you had left in the bedroom.

Its later on during this day that Jungkook approaches you.

'Hey strawberry’ he says to you.

You raise your eyebrows at him, what’s with his sudden kindness.

‘hey’ you reply voice dipped in surprised.

‘Oh, shut up, I just came to talk to you’.

You look at him.

‘I didn’t say anything but okay…. talk then’ you gesture your hands between your two bodies.

He lets out an exasperated gasp.

‘The note – did you find one?’ he asks. You still in the next sip of coffee that you were going to take. You feel yourself grow cold. How did he find out?

He looks at you.

‘So, you did’.

‘I didn’t say that’ you say tone slightly higher than normal – you were a terrible liar.

He laughs at you

‘Hmm is that so?’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Jungkook’.

He looks at you, more serious this time.

“Listen y/n there's no point playing dumb, I found your stupid note anyway”.

You watch mortified as he pulls out the note that you had thought was in your pocket. Well shit then.

“I- I have never seen that before in my life Jungkook” you can't let him know; he would ruin everything - you convince yourself.

He looks at you, he’s getting annoyed that you're lying to him. He pokes his tongue against his cheek again.

“I suggest you stop lying”.

You scoff.

“Why would I ever need to lie to you your nobody to me Jungkook”.

Something akin to hurt flashes across his face for a few seconds before he slams his hands on the table.

“I don’t think you know what you're even getting into strawberry”.

You gather your belongings getting up, you need to get away from him.

“And I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about Jungkook”.

You walk off leaving him there, but he follows after you,

“Listen I found one too, you don't need to be miss hero or anything”.

You carry on walking, not bothering to give him an answer, he would want to tell the teachers and everyone, they would cancel the trip and then how would you finish gathering your evidence? No, he was insane.

“I don’t know what you're talking about”.

‘you think your so fucking slick, don’t you? Asking around and acting unsuspicious but your wrong I could sense your stupid plan from a mile away’ he says to you, pulling you on your arm effectively stopping you so you can't walk away from him anymore. You struggle out of his hold.

‘and so, what? So, what if you know? What the hell are you going to do Jungkook? Tell on me? Are you going to threaten to tell the teachers because you know what? I’ve been thinking about it and I think they would much rather take my word for yours and all this work I’ve been doing for you – I could easily go right now and show the teachers and say that you forced me to do it!! ’

He looks at you angrily, looks like he is going to swear or curse you out but then his face relaxes.

‘you say that baby, but the truth is I have money and you don’t if I want to manipulate something I can because I have the means and power to do so, my dad's made himself something while yours totted away in the fucking garbage can’.

You feel the anger come over you and he smirks at you.

‘real fucking classy Jeon, yeah insult my parents – like it's their fault they were born into a world where people are born with silver spoons on their mouth, and at least my parents love me Jungkook’

His eyes flash with hurt

‘how do you now my parents don't love me you little bitch?’

You laugh an empty laugh at his face.

‘just look at you – you’re the very definition of boohoo my parents don't love me so I'm going to kick up a mess, so they notice me for once’.

He groans in frustration at your words then.

Somehow amidst your confrontation with Jungkook you had managed to reach your room, why are you here? Why did your feet have to leave you here?

You walk into the room and as soon as he gets in, Jungkook grabs you by the wrist and pins you against the door, your books and pencils fly across the room and while your mortified - he doesn't even bat an eyelid.

Your breathing is both heavy as you look each other in the eyes, waiting for the other to say something.

You struggle against his hold, uselessly, curse him for doing his workout routine every morning.

“You found the fucking note y/n when you went missing in the woods that day, the note that’s in Morse code, the note that you spent a week trying to decode, don't act fucking dumb” he grits out.

You still try and keep up your act,

“I have no clue in the world what you're talking Jeon, I think you're going fucking insane” you seethe out

He growls, yes, he growls.

“Your seriously fucking pissing me off now, I know you did, I know you found it”.

“Fuck off, Jungkook does it look like I care if I am fucking pissing you off”.

He looks into your eyes again and whispers something like “fucking priss” before he is connecting your lips in a kiss, a kiss that is full of ego, passion and heat. You can feel in searing through your body so fiery, setting your nerves alight.

He is relentless in his pace. His mouth against yours and God indeed Jungkook is good kisser. Before you knees grow weak you move your hands to tangle in his hair and you pull at the end causing him groan against his lips, when he does you swipe your tongue into his mouth getting a taste. You pull harder, and he groans again. It was a sound that you know you would like to hear again.

His hands move from the door and one tangles in your hair while the other presses harshly on your waist. You gasp at the pleasure and at this he takes over, he fights your own tongue for dominance and once he wins, he is rough, he wants all his saliva in your mouth, wants his taste on you, wants you to feel him in every way.

When he knows that your just as enthralled by his kisses he pulls back to taunt you - whispering the words against you bruised lips.

“You act like such a fucking little priss don't you? Act like your better than me? Lying to me? Fuck you drive me insane”.

He attacks your neck now, leaving open mouthed kisses along your ear and neck. He nibbles lightly at a few areas and when he gets to just the right place - where your breath hitches and you move your thighs together he bites down harshly without warning and you try you best to suppress your moans. Not wanting to give him any satisfaction.

“I am better than you” you say to him breathlessly, “I don’t just act like it, I am”.

He bites harder at that and you wince - Jungkook is painting you skin wine and purple and your letting him and it feels so goddamn good. He pulls you back by the hair to look at him,

“You don't look much better than me when you are bending at my will, when you're looking so fucked out and I’ve done is fucking kiss you”.

Your answer is swallowed by a moan that you let out as he takes you breasts into his big hands, and squeezes hard, you pull him up from your neck and kiss him again, his lips, your lips bruising and fighting against one another.

He trails his hand down further and dances around the hem of your pants for a while, and you place your own over his, just as your about to lead him further down a knock is heard at your door.

You both freeze

“y/n?” A voice calls out.

You calm yourself before answering, still a little shaky.

“Yes?”

“Our guest speaker has arrived, I just thought you might like to ask him a few questions before he gives his talk”.

Jungkook swears under his breath, raking a hand through his hair.

“You fucking nerd”.

He pulls you back by your pony tail and the back of your head lands on his shoulder, he tilts you slightly, so he has better access to kiss and leave more marks against your skin.

“Ah- I thank you, I’ll come in an ah- while” you say, and you hear the footsteps walk off, Jungkook spins you around and he goes to kiss you again, but you pull away.

“No, just, stop I have to go and talk”.

He looks at you “you fucking nerd” he kisses you once more, like he can't get enough of your mouth.

You pull away again.

uh what in the fuck just happened you think.

This was not meant to happen.

“Look Jungkook, I did, that is my note and I- I’ll, we can talk just not now, okay? I-I have to go. This is important"

He doesn't say anything, just watches as you fix your appearance in the mirror, an appearance he had ruined, and he smirks a little in triumph. He watches as you gather your books that had been thrown onto the floor and he watches as your ass is on display for him and God, he wishes he could grab a handful, but he doesn’t. He just watches.

You walk out the room, without so much as looking at him again and he feels oddly rejected.

He knows that you had felt good, he had heard you groan against his mouth, grind against his clothed member but he hadn't ever been walked out on before. He's not sure what exactly he is feeling. Its not a good feeling - that he was walked out on and for some old ass lecturer too.

He watches the door close, and he sits and waits for you to finish being a nerd. But truthfully it is a little hot to him that you’re so independent, you do things for yourself, your confidence and your wit, it makes you fun, you piss him off, but your company is nicer than the ones that he is used to.

He sighs what the fuck is he getting himself into.

You take a breath as you exit the room,

What in the fuck just happened? you think.

Well, when you promised Jungkook that you would talk to him you hadn't been in your right mind.  Why did you agree to that like fuck? You have no idea what to even say. How do you even start that conversation like...?

"Hey, was just wondering if you would like to you know? Go on a hunt for a serial killer with me?"

Gosh this was so stupid and the kiss, gosh your face heats up as you remember the way he had kissed you - oh so sweet and so naughty!

Gosh you were in bad, as an adult you decide to deal with the problem logically, you'll just ignore him. That will work, Jungkook had a small attention span anyway. You're sure he would forget. You really hope he does.

[husbandhoshi]

ICE SKATER AU IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH i saw the notif and lemme tell u i clicked SO fast figure skating is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world

let me propose some ideas that have been floating around my silly little brain for too long :

- jihoon enemies to lovers !! ur partner for pairs skating get injured/leaves/something and u need a new partner asap and luckily ur rival jihoon is also in need of a partner ;) he has such perfectionist energy i can see him making u guys run the same lift for hours until u get it just right

- fluffy husband/wife duo with mingyu !! he's a gentle giant so it's really easy for him to lift u and he thinks u look so stunning flying thru the air while he spins :,)

- i know there's an overabundance of shua asks but,, hear me out,, shy!josh 🧎🏼‍♀️ u notice his talent but he needs more practice so u offer to help him since ur more experienced and eventually u get partnered together <3

drooling crying screaming this concept is so tasty mhmghm do with these what u will

- 💒

YOUR MIND...........unfortunately i'm working on a seokmin f2l for his bday but i am posting this to save it and inspire other writers because all of these sound literally insane!!!!!

to react to each of these individually:

jihoon e2l is so sexy and i feel like he has such precision focus when skating yet when his hands are on you during program it feels like it Means something, the passion in his eyes makes you feel crazy, and ofc the way he holds you when you win...you start to not hate him anymore and you overhear him arguing w the coach and he's like "i can't skate without her" and then you really start going crazy

mingyu's is just going to make me cry. you are together during your ups and downs and even if you're not on the top of your game you're the audience favorite because of the way he just Holds you when you skate.... sometimes it's not technical but you can just feel and see how much he loves you </3

no comment on josh but i would LOVE to laugh at him in a leotard <3

[mashiraostail]

Hi so I had this sorta funny idea. could I request headcanons for hizashi keigo and aizawa somehow upsetting their s/o (not too serious but she's still mad) and her vowing to get back at them not telling how, when or where but tells them to just watch their back and it making the guys a little jumpy whenever they show up around them when they're at work and maybe she's not really gonna do anything except let their own paranoia be punishment

omg drake and josh vibes i see u this is funny! For sure! Under da cut <3

Hizashi: It really was NOT his fault you scared easy, He didn’t do it on purpose (He did it on purpose) ‘Hizashi there is no way to jump behind someone wearing headphones, grab them, and scream boo accidentally!’ ‘it was an impulse! Habitual!’ ‘Either way! It’s the principal of the thing!’  When you warn him he’s gonna pay for it he just laughs, seriously, come on what could you actually do...right?  Things go back to normal hardly an hour after the small confrontation but in the coming days you randomly take on this...tone with him..like you’re up to no good. It freaks him out. He checks the bolts on every chair before he sits down.  He’s jumpy, everyone notices it, even more so when you’re around and looking bored. Aizawa has WAY too much fun with it, if he’s sitting beside Hizashi he’s definitely gonna mutter out a , ‘watch out behind you.’ Just to watch the blonde sputter and spin rapidly around. He’s about to take a bite of food or a sip of his drink and Aizawa will say something like, “are you really hungry?” or “I wouldn’t drink that, personally.” While you snicker across the room at him. He’ll try to make it up to you and he’s extra nice in the coming days but the aura of mischief around you doesn’t disperse at this point he’s terrified.  Even just coming up behind him with a ‘hey Zashi.’ is enough to make him jump out of his skin at you. After a week or so, you start to feel a little guilty.  “Hey you” You chirp hands coming down on his shoulders, he looks skeeved out, like you’ve got a handful of bugs you’re about to drop on him, or worse. “What’s with that face?” You frown at him, “don’t you love me anymore?”  “Of course I love you!” He’ll protest boisterously. “Then relax.” You laugh, “I’m not gonna do anything to you. I just wanted to scare you back.”  He’ll cry about how evil you are the whole way home.  Keigo: Food was food. He saw food, he ate it. It’s not like you’d starve without it! And how was he to know? You didn’t seem all that mad, just a little peeved, which he thought was fair, a couple minutes of brooding and you’d go get cozy with him again. But instead, you insist you’re gonna ‘get back at him when he least expects it’  It doesn’t bother him at first, but then you’re being extra nice, showing up to the agency, smiling at him, kissing him all the time, but all of it is done with an undeniable air of mischief. Something smelt funny here.  He starts to be wary of you, wariness turns into full-blown paranoia.  “You’re jumpy.” Even Tokoyami would notice.  “I’m not.”  “Hey, Keegs I was in the area so-” Your voice alone triggers flailing and falling and jumping, “what the hell?!” You’ll make dinner for the pair of you then say something vague and uncomfortable like, “suddenly I’m not very hungry.”   When he takes off his jacket you murmur out a, “be a shame if something happened to that huh?”  Enji notices, thinks it’s kind of pathetic but also does nothing to calm his nerves, he doesn’t have much of a sense of humor but it’s always fun to watch this guy act like an idiot. “Hey is that who I think it is?” He’ll say as they walk down a main road together in broad daylight, but still, Keigo will look like he’s walking into a dark alley at 3 AM all of a sudden. It’ll probably be Tokoyami who puts him onto the idea of ‘paranoia is his punishment’ but the amount of fear that strikes into him is terrible, you were too good, you deserved to be feared.  You take pity on him about a week after. “Keigo, come here, I need help please.”  “eeehh I dunno-” He looks wary of you but slowly approaches you anyways.  “Closer.” You frown until he’s bending down before you.  “Okay kiss me-” “No way.” “HURTFUL!” You gasp, “I’m trying to make up! I’m not gonna do anything I just wanted to freak you out as payback!” You shove him, “jerk! Go away.” “No, wait, I’ll kiss you!” 

Aizawa He knew it was your favorite sweater, and he was going to return it, honestly, it wasn’t his fault a small..minor..explosive fight..broke out... and that he had to break it up and in the process perhaps your sweater...caught..fire. Though Bakugou and Midoriya did receive very intense death glares once he realizes his misstep. You were definitely gonna be mad at him. Sure enough, you are, and when you vow to get back at him it does send just the tiniest chill up his spine. He wasn’t scared of a lot of things, he’d argue that he was mostly unafraid of everything, bugs didn’t bother him, not heights, high speeds, big villains, physical fights, injury, all of it was part of his reality, but you...when you had that aura of absolutely up to no good..well anyone would be a little nervous.  Hizashi absolutely loses it when he’s sitting across a table from Aizawa and you come up from behind the poor man and rub his shoulders with a long drawn out, “Hey Shou..” He’s never seen his friend's eyes so wide.  The others are more subtle Aizawa is outright and blunt. Phrases like “Get away from me.” or “please get away from me” and “What are you doing with that?” also “I can’t deal with this right now.” and “stop looking at me like that or so help me god.” become common whenever you enter a room.  Hizashi has way too much fun, with it, “are you gonna take a nap right now? They could be anywhere you know.” suddenly he isn’t so tired. The paranoia came from the fact he had no clue what you would do. You were a capable young professional, you could do some serious damage if you took him by surprise.  Even Toshinori, who tries not to make laughing at other’s misfortune a habit, can’t help but laugh at how skittish Aizawa is. Even his students notice him tense up at your voice or the mention of you. You cave after he tells you to, ‘get away from me before I have a fucking conniption.’ for the tenth time in just a few days.  “Okay don’t give yourself a heart attack. I was just playing with you...as payback. I didn’t think it’d work so well I feel kinda bad now.”  “That...is so cruel.” “Shou you started it by running that sweater!”  “Yeah and I’ll end it when you least expect it.”   

[simpbur]

hello! i would like ur 40 song wiblur playlist

anon thank you so much for asking <333 while it would’ve been easier to just drop the link i have so many thoughts about everything so i explained why every single song has its spot on this list which was IMMENSELY fun for me

(also: if anyone does want the link i can provide both apple music and spotify but if u would like the apple music link i’d rather it be through dms or an ask off anon that i can make private!)

another also: i bolded all the songs for ease of perusing if you don’t want the director’s commentary and bolded + italicized the ones that i think fit Very Well

another another also: wrote the second bit of this on my laptop and the keyboard is p funky so if there are any typos or things that do not make sense i will try to fix them asap haha

saint bernard by lincoln: this is one of those like. Dream SMP Songs that i added because it fits into so many different relationships and plot lines and arcs but i think there’s some connection to c!wlbur somewhere out there. idk i asked my friend and he said to add it so this one goes out to him

amnesia was her name by lemon demon: ghostbur song ghostbur song! mostly comes from this lovely animatic

o valencia! by the decemberists: okay this is one of those songs that only really has one lyric that fits but is an absolutely banger so it’s here anyway. you’ll also notice a trend of quasi love songs that i relate to c!wilbur’s perception of l’manburg and i think this song shows this in a really cool way, esp with the chorus (‘and i swear to the stars i’ll burn this whole city down’ is The Line)

achilles come down by gang of youths: another one of those Dream SMP Songs. i think this fits better with c!tommy but i like it too much to remove it. this is a somewhat common trend with the earlier songs on this playlist (i’ve been building this thing since january, for reference)

brave as a noun by ajj: another Dream SMP Song. i think certain verses fit better than others when it comes to wilbur’s character but that ones that work really work

harness your hopes by pavement: a song that is one here for vibes alone. i have no idea what these lyrics mean. all i know is that i heard it, thought of c!wilbur, and put it on the playlist. thank you all for being here

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn: sad-ist made this a tommy and tubbo song (as she should) so it’s validity on this playlist is questionable but folks used to compare it to wilbur and tommy’s relationship during the pogtopia arc and i think some points were made there

the execution of all things by rilo kiley: i’m so excited to get here because this was the first song i put on the playlist that i think really works and i thumb nailed an animatic for the last verse and november 16th so! i think it’s a good l’manburg song and the last verse has some good ghostbur lines (‘and lately you’re all alone with nothing left but sleep/but sleep never comes to you, it’s the guilt and forever wakefulness of the weak’)

i’m just your problem from adventure time: this ones a bit tricky since at is my favorite show of all time and i cannot detach this song from its in-show context very well but there is a very cool animatic with this song that landed it a spot on the playlist

man burning by josh ritter: almost became an animatic but the audio i wanted to use (which i recorded at a josh ritter concert and it’s just him and his guitar and there’s echo and it’s very haunting and pretty) has my stepbrother singing in the background and i could not edit it out so. that will probably not happen. but anyways the only hole i would pick in this song is that it’s mostly about self sabotage which isn’t really applicable but i think the imagery is cool

mamma mia by abba: here me out. here me out. this is another song that fits so well and i have spent so many hours thinking about this and somewhere there is a note on my phone explaining how every single line relates to c!wilbur’s entire arc from founding l’manburg to the resurrection (made when we thought gbur was going to get resurrected in january) and just. the metaphorical ‘you’ is l’manburg does this make any sense (another almost animatic except now that wilbur’s actually back it might become an actual animatic)

the other side of paradise by glass animals: no idea why this is here other than being a Dream SMP Song. it’s good tho

infinitesimal by mother mother: they saaaaay it stared with a big bang but they saaaaaaaay it came out of a small thing latelyyyyy i’ve been feeling like a big bang You Know

curses by the crane wives: had a thing drawn out for this song showing the comparisons between c!wilbur and c!niki because of the chorus and i think the last two lyrics of said chorus are the best thing about this one

lonely eyes by the front bottoms: gotta admit that i have no idea how this song got on here but i’ve come to associate it with ghostbur based on vibes alone. it’s a friendly song he’s a friendly ghost it works. the other tfb song coming up fits a bit better methinks

king of new orleans by better than ezra: not to put better than ezra on my c!wilbur playlist but like. something about the whole ‘tasing something up to let it fall’ motif makes me think

get me away from here, i’m dying by belle and sebastian: another almost animatic song (there’s a trend here). not only does the story told in this song work i like the lines ‘play me a song to set me free/nobody writes them like they used to so it may as well be me’ in relation to my l’manburg

montgomery forever by the front bottoms: certain bits and pieces of this song fit so well, specifically the chorus and those bits in the last two choruses Yeah (’montgomery forever and ever and ever and now they’re blowing it up/(x2)/as you started laughing and crying and trying to explain how all you want to do is leave’)

don’t look back in anger by oasis: out of all my almost animatic songs, this one got the furthest. the animatic, which I got pretty far in thumbnailing, was about wilbur and tommy and kind of drawing comparisons between their characters, also about the revolution in general. maybe i’ll finish that animatic one day idk 

snow by ricky montgomery: i wish i had a link for this so bad but!! saw art on twitter!! with the lyric ‘bury me six feet in snow’!! and went ahfsdjfk!!

burning pile by mother mother: a Dream SMP Song. also a jam there’s no real specific connection for this one but i think it could fit in a couple of ways

rounds by the oh hellos: in the same position as snow except it was on tumblr..... @ whoever made this comic i saw these lyrics in your brain is massive and your art is incredible

lovely by mt. eddy: on here for vibes alone. there’s something in the lyrical content too, but my thoughts in that regard are not very fleshed out

adventures in solitude by the new pornographers: ah yes..... the song that prompted this all...... this is a beautiful and incredibly well written song and if you’re going to listen to any song off of this playlist i’d encourage you to listen to this one. it’s place of here is mostly cause of the chorus but the imagery in the verses could all represent a part of c!wilbur and i’d love to explore that more

caught in the middle by paramore: obligatory paramore song. i think it got on here because limbo = ‘middle’ but i’m not quite sure. on the verge of being deleted if i can find a better pmore song

delicate by damien rice: one of the oddest songs on this list and i am well aware that it sticks out like a sore thumb. a song that’s on here pretty much because of one lyric, which is ‘and why’d you sing hallelujah/if it means nothing to you’ which i related to both eret’s betrayal and how my l’manburg is hallelujah yknow

bang! by ajr: almost animatic song. i think we all know what the bang is here

somewhere only we know by lily allen: ik i said don’t look back in anger has the most potential to get made into an animatic but this song might actually take it place. on par with adventures in solitude in terms of how pretty of a song it is, and probably even moreso. it’s kind of turned into a ghostbur song in my head, and makes me cry like an infant child every time i hear it

a pearl by mitski: i cannot defend this song’s place on here past the line ‘it’s just that i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended’

eight by sleeping at last: the official c!wilbur song needs a spot on here <3 if i can dig up the clip of cc!wilbur talking about this song in relation to his character i’ll add it but until then yeah <3

always by rilo kiley: no idea why this is on here but it fits well!! could not tell you why!! banger!!

celebration guns by stars: it’s a hauntingly beautiful song about war, and kind of one of those that necessarily isn’t about wilbur but moreso his place in the story? idk how to explain it but yes

passerine by the oh hellos: it’s. it’s from the . the fic. yeah h

oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet and hold the earth in place by bright eyes: added this after the real resurrection and i think it’s because fo the imagery? also the last verse

we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos!: all i have to say is ‘i cannot emphasize enough that my body/is a badly designed, poorly put together vessel/harboring these diminishing, so called vital organs/i hope my heart goes first, i hope my heart goes first!’ has always made me think of pogtopia era wilbur :(

dead weight by jack stauber: no real connection other than eret played this song during a break during the ghostbur’s january ‘resurrection’ and i heard it and went :0

point me at lost lands by tired pony: gives me season on l’manburg vibes..... i love how free and passionate it sounds and that's p much the only reason it’s on this list haha

ghosting by mother mother: added this five seconds ago because i could not BELIEVE it was not on here. ghostbur song. mans sang it on that one stream with the reverb and everything. the lyrics ‘i will be kind and i’ll be sweet/if you stop staring straight through me’ hit particularly hard back when everyone thought that ghostbur was actually wilbur in disguise 

[woozi]

The Ult Group Tag!

thank you for tagging me on this, lee (@uriboogyu)! <3

my ult group: seventeen!

1. who was your first bias?

yao mingming dino!

2. who is your bias now?

i genuinely love all of the boys (aka i can’t choose one lol), but i find myself very fond of jeonghan, dino, mingyu, hoshi, and uji!

3. what was the first mv you watched by them?

i don’t actually remember, but i knew of them since pre-debut! i did not keep up with them until debut though because i had a kpop hiatus for a while, and when i came back aju nice was very big, so i’d just mention that, probably?

4. what’s your favorite mv?

HIT (literally a song and mv to touch the stove and crash your car to <3 i also love tech and sparkles so it was literally right up my alley lol)

5. if you could only listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be?

first of all, why would u even do that; i had a small crisis while choosing songs. 💔 secondly, i have decided to cheat a little. (also i’m so tempted to choose for each unit as well but i will restrain myself) 😌 anyway, i’m gonna have to have two categories for this, lol. emo hours: simple regular yza hours: good to me

6. who would you want to see them collab with?

i would love to see them collab with SHINee or a live band! they’re known for being a dance group, but svt also has such a rich tone, which i especially enjoyed when i heard them with a live band (from dwc)! i’d also love to see them touch more indie/underground genres, so maybe khh/krnb artists too?

7. what (mv) concept do you want to see them do?

a surrealist or horror concept!! (we don’t get these fun concepts in kpop much :/)

8. have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?

umm.... this question was meant for me i think <3 i often dream of jihoon for some reason (and they’re often tender ones?? 😩), then mingyu and hao once? i think i also dreamt of hoshi and another member as well, but i don’t remember quite clearly. i don’t have very vivid dreams often!

9. if you could spend the day with one member, who would it be and what would you do?

probably hoshi? the man has, like, 0 fears and i’m really into extreme stuff, so u can maybe catch us jumping off a plane or something similar!! we both run on adrenaline at times, so it would be really fun if we hung out. in contrast, i also remember him saying that he needed someone like vernon who can ground him, so i think our dynamic would work well as people tell me i tend to be very calm irl (an older family friend even referred to my demeanor as cool as a cucumber 😭) and i also have jeonghan’s physical energy some days, lol.

10. which member do you think you would get on with best?

i can’t exactly choose just a single person since i think i’d get along with them well on different forms, but to enumerate those i’d think i’d get along with best: 1. cheol is very bubbly and a bit rough, and often looks for people to get in on the joke with him which i absolutely would as i am the resident reaction-giver jhdsjjksjh 2. similar to cheol, hoshi loves attention and praise and i’m usually a support-role so yeah!! 3. seungkwan and dk have bestie vibes so it’s an immediate yes for me bc i’m also a bit shy (NOT SEUNGKWAN DJSSKJD) and tend to be clingy like them!! 4. i would also probably get long well with jihoon since we're eerily similar irl, but i think i would also get intimidated at the same time, lol.

11. which member do you think you would argue with?

i’m 100% fighting mingyu just because <3 (also to see him make the 😗 face when he’s upset)

12. if you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?

josh, but only because i know he’s already on here somewhere somehow anyway, lol. (josh if ur reading this it’s on sight 🏃)

in turn, i’m tagging @heartgyus, @xuseokgyu, @haniehae, @gotseventeens, @defgyus, @art-hao, @coupsnim, @wenjunhuiz, @ourseokmin, @vanillajoshh, @smallkore, @kyeomblr, @iiasha, @vernons, @julyprince, @tearsofsyrup​, and anyone who’s seeing this that would like to do it! as usual, no pressure on this! 🥰🌸💖

[justimagaine]

Nothing compares / Sebastian Stan

My love for you could stretch around the world countless times, and when the world is covered, my love could stretch through the galaxy forever moving on.

You think you know what love is. You believe you’ve felt it towards you and you believe you’ve loved another person as much as you possibly could, but one day something unbelievably amazing happens and you realize the love you’ve felt before could never compare to what you were feeling now.

It had been a 3 years since Sebastian had made any movies or shows and done any kids of interviews. So when he was getting back into it all, he was very nervous. He was more nervous when he had decided to film again and had to go to set every day. Sebastian was worried to leave his two beautiful ladies home while he worked. He wanted to be there for both, and luckily for him you were amazingly supportive. So when Sebastian started to think about making movies again you were there for him, helped him with his lines and visited with your daughter as much as he wanted and was allowed to have guests.

The day of his first interview for his new movie had arrived, Sebastian was happy that his first interview was going to be with a friendly face, Josh, from MTV. Since there was a lot of commotion where Sebastian was having his interview you agreed to meet after he was done and have a family dinner. Knowing he had that planned for later motivated Sebastian to do his job.

Arriving he was greeted with a lot of smiling people who told him how happy they were to see him again, how they liked the movie. Hearing good things about his movie brought him joy. Seeing how happy people were to have seen the movie remained him why he loved his job. The other reason and now the biggest was the fact because of his job he met you, for a split second Sebastian remembered the day he met you and smiled, but quickly composed himself and went to greet Josh. 

“Are we ready?” Josh asked looking at the camera operators. Sebastian sat on a couch with a mic in his hands,taking few deep breaths, he hadn’t done this in a long time, so he was a bit nervous, but imagining see you and his daughter in few hours calmed him down. “Okay, let’s do this”

“Yeah, first interview, let’s get shit on the rode” Sebastian joked making people laugh. His energy levels went higher just as they started the interview. It was just as he remembered questions about the movie, about were they filmed, how it was. Josh had prepared some good questions and a game they were going to play at the end. Sebastian as always was a great guest to interview. Answering question without a problem, making jokes. He looked relaxed and happy.

“So, as we’ve discussed the movie is amazing” Josh said and Sebastian nodded at his statement “but now let’s talk about your family. The reason you decided to take time off” Sebastian couldn’t help but smile.

“Always. I’m always ready u\and up for talking about my family” Sebastian said making Josh chuckled

“Well, great because I wanted to ask how did you decided to take time of and when was it?” Sebastian looked up a bit thinking back to the day he had decided it.

“I came to that decision when (Y/N) told me she was pregnant. I knew I didn’t want to miss anything, I wanted to be there for her for it all” he smiled remembering how amazing you looked while pregnant, how he’d spend his evening talking to your growing belly “and I’m glad I did, seeing how the belly grows, seeing all those ultrasounds of our daughter, it was magical” Sebastian rubbed his bearded chin while smiling, he couldn’t stop smiling. There was no point in even trying to stop himself, it was impossible.

“How did it feel when she was born? You probably couldn’t wait for her to be here” Josh said earning a big smiling nod from Sebastian

“yeah, it was incredible. (Y/N) was incredible. Women are truly the strongest sex and don’t even fight me on this” he said to the camera with an angry then quickly went into a laugh. Josh nodded looking at the camera Sebastian had been look at. “It really was amazing”  Sebastian kept talking feeling warm and happy seeing his daughter beautiful eyes. “When I held Catalena in my arms I just was in love. I never felt that kind of life. Nothing compares to that moment. I’ll never forget it. I love my wife more then I did before, I love my daughter the way I’ve never loved anyone before.” Sebastian smiled, shook his head “it’s just indescribable the feelings you feel when you hold this little human in your arms and know you’ll love and protect her no mater what. You’ll give up your life for this small ball of pure beauty and joy” he smiled as he could hear her little laugh in his mind. 

The interview was over soon after and Sebastian didn’t hang back as usually he would have. He ran out the door to see his family. Sebastian couldn’t wait to hold his daughter and kiss his beautiful wive. He had a family he loved more then anything in life. If one day someone made him choose his work or family he wouldn’t even thing, he’d choose his family always and forever.

[love-fireflysong]

mayhaps... 40 in ur outlast/until dawn au :] interpret that however u will (mainly askin this cause i wanna read More about it)

(Wait. You, you want to read more about my shitty ass au that’s just like 3 different au’s in a trenchcoat?????? Yeah, yeah, um, okay. I think I can do that! Maybe. Possibly.)

You can pick and choose your own kiss prompt to send in here!

Five months, three weeks, and six days. Five months. Three weeks. And six days. The three of them had last been in the same room together five months, three weeks, and six days ago. One hundred and seventy-six total days, and they had learned to savour every second-long glance they managed in narrow hallways and spotted across courtyards through windows ever since.

Four months, one week, and two days ago marked the day that Josh had heard Ashley’s voice for the first time since they had been forcefully separated. It had been weak—an echo so faint that he was convinced at first that he had just imagined it—but after going nearly forty-eight days unable to talk when they used to never go more then two, the two of them had latched onto it all the same.

Thirteen days later, Chris’s confused and hopeful voice finally joined the two of theirs. Ashley had been so overcome with their combined relief and the overwhelming realization that they could finally at least talk to each other again, that her sobbing had almost gotten them caught right away. Three months, three weeks, and three days ago they were allowed to be together at least like this.

Two months since the day Josh had discovered Chris’s face looking back at him in the reflection of the bathroom mirror, discovering that they could see what the others did as well. The amount of time they all spent staring into mirrors with that revelation probably wasn’t the first hint that the Morphogenic Engine had finally birthed something in them, but it was likely the most damning. They had hoped that the doctors would just assume this to be nothing more then a case of exceptional narcissism, but luck was not on their side (not that it had ever been in this place). It didn’t matter. They were so desperate to even just look at each others faces—tired, worn down, and abused as they all were—that they would accept any consequences that would come from this.

And consequences there were. 

One month and three days ago, after the tests and ‘therapy’ sessions had only become longer and more frequent, the next pathological birthing revealed itself. It seemed that not only were they of one mind and eyes, but now their bodies were connected as well. A wound delivered to one of them would be felt just as terribly by the others with no mark to mar their skin.

The last month had been spent with even more work put into making sure they were kept apart, housing each of them in different areas of the asylum so they would never be allowed catch a glimpse of the others again. Believing that this separation would only exacerbate the trauma of not being allowed to contact each other except through the use of their new ‘gifts’. Well, it certainly exacerbated the discovery that this new connection of theirs meant that they were now connected in more ways then one. The further the distances between them, the less of themselves they became. 

Josh felt unable to speak, his tongue fat and useless in a mouth full of cotton. Chris swearing that he had been submerged and forced to move in a room of syrup, and his hands too shaky to hold onto anything larger then a penny. And Ashley’s poor brain filled with fog and running on novocaine all at once, unable to string words or thoughts together that she had loved oh so much.

Up until two days ago, there had been discussions had between doctors and scientists that more tests might reveal more connections; taste, smell, and true hearing being added to the sensations they all now shared—until they were molded into not three individuals, but a single being that had been slowly stripped away and finally ripped apart into three bloody pieces of the same heart. But decisions were made, and it was agreed upon that the three of them were to be prepped and connected to the Morphogenic Engine together. The three of them had become so intertwined after all, that maybe having all three of them hooked to the Engine at once would cause them not only to share the same lucid dreaming state, but enter the same lateral ascension needed to become host to the Walrider.

The first time the three of them would be together in the same room in five months, three weeks, and six days. And they wouldn’t even be awake for it. 

And a day ago—informed that they should be honoured to have finally reached this important milestone in Project Walrider—all three of them had requested, begged, pleaded that they be allowed to spend even ten minutes together again beforehand. Each of the doctors sent to talk to them had rolled their eyes and simply stated that they were under no positions to be making demands. But, seeing as they had been such good and educational guinea pigs, they would maybe consider it.

They would never know what the final answer would be, because a little over two hours ago good old Billy had reached lateral ascension and everything went to shit.

And now, they had all managed to escape the rooms that had been holding them apart from each other—Ash and Chris from their respective rooms in the Female and Male Wards and Josh from his cell in the Prison Block—and were in the process navigating the maze that Mount Massive Asylum was quickly becoming. And with blood caked between their toes, screams of the dying—patients and staff alike—echoing down every hall and in every room, and the taste of freedom becoming stronger with every step closer they got to each other, they didn’t have time to be doing this. 

They shouldn’t be doing this. Both of them knew that they shouldn’t be doing this. Hell, technically all three of them knew that they shouldn’t be doing this. But well, it had been five months, three weeks, and six days since the three of them had been in the same room. So as Josh had shoved Chris up against the wall in one of the little alcoves in the Male Ward’s basement to make up for all one hundred and seventy-six days apart, everybody else could fuck right off because they needed this.

They could claim this as an personal experiment later, not that Ashley would believe them then, cause she certainly didn’t now. The two of them could sense her exasperation and unsurprised acceptance amid her own want just as clearly as she and Josh could feel the red-hot throbbing of Chris’s still bleeding arm, the long and deep gash burin hot and painful where Trager had caught him with the edge of his bone shears. His hands had been too shaky to firmly grasp the door knob, and his reflexes too slow to try and fully evade the blades in time.

Not that anyone would be able to guess that now. Thankfully, it had seemed that the closer the two of them had gotten, the more their own personal afflictions had faded. Chris couldn’t remember the last time his grip had been so firm as he held Josh as close as he was able, and Josh was dimly amused that the first thing he was doing with his now more mobile tongue was shoving it as far into Chris’s mouth as he could.

The two of them felt like they could have stayed in that alcove for ages, hiding from other Variants who had become so lost and absorbed by the Engine’s touch that they would have been killed without a thought. Slowly becoming reacquainted with a body that had once been as familiar to them as their own, that they had only been allowed to touch and remember in dreams, but they needed to move on.

Need. Move. Please. Miss you. Please.

That was all that was needed. As closer to completion that Chris and Josh were feeling, Ashley was still out there. Alone. And as fogged as ever. From her eyes, they could see the dark shapes of doorways and tossed bedframes as she scrambled through wreckage so frantically and desperately that they could feel the phantom stones and glass digging into the soles of their bare feet. The two of them reluctantly separated, and there was no denying the fact that despite having Josh next to him, Chris’s hands still shook as though going through withdrawals. Not that it would be far from the truth of course, not having Josh or Ashley in his life had definitely been akin to stopping an addiction cold turkey.

“Well, let’s get a move on, hey Cochise?” Despite the ease of the lopsided smile on his face, the voice that came out was raw with disuse and the words felt fat and wrong on his tongue. “Don’t wanna run in to Big Debbie now do we?”

If Chris Walker wanted to kill them like he had everyone else so far—heads ripped off their bodies as easily as popping the top of a dandelion from it’s stem—then he could goddamn wait until they met back up with Ash.

They had been apart for five months, three weeks, and six days. They refused to add on even one more day.

They refused to make it six months.

[s3r-en-d1p-ity]

just friends - t. chalamet x reader

been getting in my Timmy feels lately and haven’t posted in a hot minute since I keep procrastinating so here’s a timmy imagine

pairing: platonic!timothée x platonic!reader

warnings: lil angst, mentions of drugs, just some platonic fluff and some swearing

part 2 , part 3

You and Timothée met years ago, back in 2015. He was 19 and you were 17. You ran into each other at an awards show and clicked. You knew from the moment you started talking that there would be a friendship.

As time passed, you got closer and closer until you were inseparable. Only a few months after you met, you had opened up to him.

“My dad’s been in jail for 10 years,” You shrugged, sliding down the wall next to Timothée, who had his back pressed against the door and his legs spread out wide in front of him.

He looked over at you, with curious eyes. He wanted to ask, but didn’t want to pry. You noticed the look, and smiled sadly. “He killed my mom.”

His breath got caught in his throat, and he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t have much to say, and he didn’t want to pity you. So he just grabbed your hand that was resting on your knee and scooted closer to you.

He didn’t treat you different, or give you pity, and you admired that. You knew there was something different about the boy.

You were a singer, and he was an actor. So obviously, your lives were very different and you both had very different schedules that made it hard to see each other. Especially when you were on tour and he was shooting in a completely different place. There was a whole month where you didn’t get to talk to each other because your time zone differences were constantly switching and when you were up, he was asleep and when you were asleep, he was up. But when you got to talk again, it was like nothing had changed.

The longest you went without seeing each other was 9 months. Those 9 months were hell, but you were proud of Timmy because he had gotten one of his biggest movie roles yet and he was proud of you because you sold out every single show on your tour.

The doorknob to your apartment jiggled, and you sat up warily because the only person who had a key to your apartment was Timmy.

Timmy.

You jumped up, at the same time he opened the door. There he was, in all his glory, your best friend. He closed the door behind him and smiled at you.

“Long time no see, stranger.” He joked. It took you a minute to fully comprehend what was happening, but once you did, you were running across the room and jumping onto him.

He stumbled back a bit, but hugged you back tightly. He squeezed you and lifted you up off the ground, burying his face in your neck. It gave him a sense of home, and made him smile.

“You told me you weren’t coming home for another 3 weeks.” You mumbled, your hands clenching the back of his shirt.

“Ended filming early,” He replied. “Took the first plane back.” His curly hair tickled your cheek and you smiled. You didn’t realize how much you missed Timmy’s hugs and the way he clung to you so tightly.

You think that maybe that’s when you realized you had a little crush on Timothée.

Yeah. Had. As in, after a while you realized how much that would ruin your friendship and pushed your feelings away. Eventually, it worked.

You’re glad it worked, because a few months later, Timothée got a girlfriend. Her name was Reilyn.

He spent all of his time with her. You thought back a few months ago, and thanked God you didn’t still have feelings for him, because if you did, you’d be crushed to death.

At first, you didn’t mind. You were happy Timmy was happy. Then, he started ignoring your calls and ditching your plans to hang out with her. You let it slide for a while, but when he showed up 3 hours late to your birthday party, you brought it up.

He defended Reilyn, of course. And that started one of your biggest and only fights.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up to your bed sinking. You were a light sleeper, always had been. The slightest noise or touch woke you up.

You groaned, shifted around and opened your eyes to see Timothée sitting at the side of your bed. “Hi,” He whispered. You didn’t respond, just stared up at him.

Then your mind replayed the events of the past 2 days, and you wanted to crawl in a hole and die. “What do you want? I just want to sleep right now.” You grumbled, burying your face back in your pillow.

“You’re naked.” He noted, his eyes running over your bare back, not covered by the sheets.

“No shit, sherlock.” You scoffed, mad at him. “I had a guy over. I asked him to leave.”

Timothée was silent for a while. For a second, you thought he had left. Then you heard his soft breathing. “You called me a lot yesterday and today. What’s wrong?” 

Anger bubbled in your stomach, and you clenched your fist around the sheets. “It doesn’t concern you anymore. You were with Reilyn.” You spat, not bothering to hide the venom in your voice.

“I’m sorry, y/n/n. My phone’s been shut off, it was our year anniversary. Please, just tell me what’s wrong.” He pleaded, his hand finding your back.

You didn’t respond. You didn’t want to think about it, or talk about it. You’d be reliving it all over again, and that’s the last thing you wanted. Timothée pulled the covers over you, pushed you over, and crawled into your bed. He turned you so you were facing him and froze when he saw the tears in your eyes.

“Please.” He sighed, gripping your forearm. You gulped, looking away from him.

“Josh called me yesterday.” You started. Josh was your brother. After your mom died, your then 15-year-old brother decided you guys should go live with your aunt, here in California. He began using drugs, more and more as time passed.

“oh.” Timothée breathed out. He met him once. He was worried for the dude, because he looked like he would collapse any second. In all honesty, Timothée didn’t have any words. He felt guilt piling up because he wasn’t there for his best friend.

“I met him at a cafe. For a while, it was small talk. Then he asked me for money. Of course he asked me for money. He told me it was for gas, but him and I both knew I wasn't buying that. I left after and that’s when I called you. And you didn’t pick up. Then, later that night, I got a call from the hospital and they told me he OD’d. That’s the second time I called you. I went to the hospital, waited for 3 hours to get at least some information, and I was on the verge of a panic attack, that’s the 3rd time I called you.

Two hours later, when I went home to shower and get him some clothes, I came back and the doctor told me he discharged himself. I tried to get a hold of him for 3 more hours, looked through all of the sketchiest streets in L.A. for him, then gave up and went back to my apartment only to find it trashed and Josh asleep in my bathtub. I called you. When he woke up, we got in a huge fight and he took cash from my wallet and left. At least a couple hundred bucks. Then I called you again. So I called Jack over, we fucked, and then I asked him to leave. Then I called you for the last time, and went to bed.” You ended, turning away from him.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.” He croaked out, and you knew he was crying. You wanted to yell at him, wanted to scream at him, and wanted to blame Reilyn, but you weren’t like that. So you didn’t do it, and let him hold you and tell you he was sorry.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You walked into your dressing room, breathing heavily. Another night, another show. You found Timothée on the floor. His back was resting against the couch, and he was playing with a rubix cube. He looked up when you closed the door behind you.

“Hey superstar.” He laughed. “Amazing show.”

You smiled, walking over to him. He pulled you down, right between his legs. You let your back rest against his chest and put your head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around your middle. “Seriously, you did great.”

A couple days after the whole fiasco where Timo didn’t answer his phone, he broke up with Reilyn. You felt guilty but he assured you it was for the best and that it wasn't your fault at all. That was almost 5 months ago. You were back on tour and Timmy wasn’t shooting so he was able to come to a lot of your shows.

Your fingers drummed on Timmy’s knee absentmindedly. Times like these made time go so fast, but slow down at the same time. You felt at home, a haze over you that only Timmy could make you feel. In a strictly platonic way, you reminded yourself. “Timmy?” You mumbled, grabbing his knee.

“Yes?” He replied, muffled by your hair.

“I love you. Thank you for being there for me, always.” You sighed, feeling his arms squeeze you and his lips press to the back of your head.

“I love you more, y/n/n.”

sorry. really wanted something to post and low-key wanted to make this a little series where she realizes her feelings are coming back but I wanted to see if people liked this first. also, im a new writer so sorry if this is crappy ahahaha

if u want to see a lil series for this lmk and i’ll try and make it happen without procrastinating :)

[candyshua]

i luv angst a lot so i’m v glad you’re doing this 😭 could i have jun + “don’t pretend to care, i know you don’t” thank you!! 💓 (feel free to litrally break my heart)

a/n: ummmm i have mixed feelings about this one. thank u so much for requesting though! anywho, enjoy!

pairing: junhui x reader (side joshua x reader)

genre: just pure angst

warnings: unrequited love, mentions of sex, the reader is just not a very good person,,,

word count: 2,297

Junhui never liked you. 

Maybe his hatred for you stemmed from the first time you two met; which was through Joshua, of course.

The moment his eyes trailed to where you were, in the doorway of Joshua’s apartment, he felt something amiss in his chest.

You smiled warmly, holding up a plastic bag filled with takeout in one hand and a bottle of soju in the other. Everybody else in his apartment cheered, but Junhui merely gave you a plain look, not knowing what emotions you had just conveyed of him.

Joshua took the bags from you while he gave you a quick kiss. Your grin was of pure authenticity, something that made Junhui recoil.

He remembered the way you snuggled up against Joshua as the rest of you watched a movie. He remembered you talking to him as if he were a friend of yours for years, in spite of only knowing each other for an hour or so. He remembered the feelings of complete and utter disgust when he’d sneak looks at you.

Junhui decided to hate you that night. It was just the safest option.

The second time Junhui met you was at a cheap, hole-in-the-wall diner in the middle of the night. You wore an apron and a tired smile.

You were always smiling. Junhui hated it.

He sat down in a two-person booth by himself, eyeing the menu carefully. His diligent searching was interrupted by your chipper voice. According to Junhui, it was much too chipper for someone who worked at a shitty diner in the middle of the night.

“Hey, you’re Junhui, right?” You greeted.

“Yeah, Y/N?” You nodded enthusiastically.

“Can I get you something to drink?” 

Junhui was absolutely perplexed. How did you seem so happy and awake? 

“Um, water would be fine.” You gave him a thumbs-up and practically skipped away. The feeling in Junhui’s heart was absolutely foreign to him, and he did not welcome it one bit. When you came back and gave him the glass of water, your hand accidentally brushed against his.

Junhui felt his entire world collapse. You weren’t affected whatsoever. Junhui didn’t even think you noticed.

After you had taken his order and walked away, Junhui was left to reflect. 

He decided to hate you yet again. In fact, he needed to hate you, or else he’d have to admit he was falling for his roommate’s girlfriend.

-

Junhui started to lose count of how many times he had seen you. You were soon becoming an avid person in his social life, and it scared the absolute shit out of him. 

He was tremendously scared of you. He was scared of the way your smile made his breath stop, he was scared of the way he felt butterflies in his tummy each time you were remotely near him, and he was scared of the fact that he was in love with you.

One night, you, Junhui, Joshua, and his friend Soonyoung were hanging out in your apartment. Once you all had realized you ran out of booze, Soonyoung and Joshua had left the two of you to go to the store. 

Junhui sat on the couch, mindlessly staring at his phone. He was hyperaware of your everlasting presence. You wore a t-shirt and black shorts that night.

After further observing the shirt, Junhui realized that it was his. Joshua must’ve taken it from him, and you must’ve taken it from Joshua.

Junhui’s mind wandered for a bit. He let himself indulge in the thought of you wearing his t-shirts on a regular basis, and then he found himself being washed over with fear.

Plain and transparent fear. There was no other word to describe the way Junhui had felt when he realized that he was madly in love with you.

No, Junhui had never liked you.

(He loved you.)

“Jun,” You began out of the blue, “can I ask you something?” Junhui’s eyes widened, wondering if you could read his tainted thoughts.

“Um, sure.” 

“Has Joshua ever brought another girl to your apartment?” 

Wow. Junhui could hear your voice crack just a bit, and he knew that you already knew the answer. 

Joshua had been quite irresponsible with you, to say the least. Junhui had kept his mouth shut about it all, even if he did feel a burning hatred for the man he lived with. 

“I think you already know the answer.” Junhui murmured with nothing but shame laced in his tone. He expected you to cry, scream, or just do something reckless. Instead, you stood there silently, hugging your knees to your chest. And when Joshua came back that night, you kissed him at the door.

(Junhui’s heart ached hopelessly.)

-

It was 3 AM. 

You seemed to not care, though, since you called Wen Junhui at the ungodly hour.

“Hello?” He croaked after he picked up the phone, clearly being awakened from his sleep.

“Jun?” You weakly asked. You sniffled, and he automatically knew you had been crying.

“Y/N? What’s up?” Worry was rooted in his tone, like weeds in a yard. He’d try so desperately to rip them out, but they’d always come back.

(He would always be worried about you.)

“Could you, um, come pick me up? Please?” You pleaded. Junhui was thoroughly confused.

“What happened?”

“Josh broke up with me, and he kind of left me at the diner. I have no way to get home…”

“On my way.”

Junhui got in his car with a racing mind and heart. His thoughts were filled with Joshua and his undeniable ability to be an asshole, and of course, you. Junhui wished he could speed through the streets and get to the diner you worked at, but alas, the city of LA was alive with traffic like always. And, of course, rain was falling from the sky in angry droplets.

Junhui moved to LA to chase his dreams of being an actor. And, at the ripe age of 25, his dream wasn’t going too great. He met Joshua through a roommate listing online, and then he got a part-time job at a high-class restaurant. 

He put his dreams on hold.

But, when he finally saw you standing awkwardly on the sidewalk in the rain, a new dream was born.

(He dreamt of being yours.)

The moment you spotted Junhui’s beat-up car, you wore a smile for the first time that night. Junhui’s heart fluttered.

After you got into the car, Junhui drove away without asking a single question. Half of him didn’t want to pester you with such things.

And half of him didn’t really want to know, in fear that he might have gone home and beaten the shit out of his roommate.

“Jun,” You started, “thank you. Really–I mean it.”

After he let himself bask in your lovely words for a bit, he gave you a shy smile.

“Of course, Y/N. I’d do anything for you.”

Junhui realized what he had said much too late. His heart dropped. In a state of panic, he turned on the radio, and some romantic jazz started blasting at full volume. Junhui turned it off as soon as he could, his eyes blown wide out of fear and anticipation.

He looked anywhere but you. 

You refused to look anywhere but him.

Those words were surprisingly nice coming from Junhui’s mouth. 

“Where are we going?” You questioned the older man. 

Junhui handed you his phone with Google Maps open, having already prepared it before you entered the car.

“Put in your address please.” He stated blankly. You nodded and let a fit of giggles subside in your throat. 

Once Junhui pulled up to your apartment complex, you opened the door and waved him goodbye. 

Junhui was about to drive away, but you stopped him.

“Wait!”

Junhui hit the brakes way too aggressively.

“Want to come in for some coffee?”

(Junhui should’ve just driven away.)

-

Ever since the night you two had slept together, Junhui’s entire world was on fire. He couldn’t bear to look Joshua in the eyes, but Joshua probably wouldn’t have even cared if he found out about what happened. Junhui led himself to that conclusion after Joshua brought home a girl two days after the breakup.

Junhui was going insane.

He avoided you like the plague. He had become a regular at the diner you worked at, but he hadn’t gone since that night.

Two weeks had passed, two painstakingly slow and miserable weeks. Time was Junhui’s enemy, but it was usually because it was much too fleeting.

Now it was much too slow. You had infested his mind like ants infested a kitchen in the summertime. He wanted to hate you, so badly.

But his feelings for you were quite, in fact, the opposite. Junhui’s feelings would have probably faded away after not seeing you due to the breakup.

He would’ve turned out fine.

Fuck, Junhui thought while studying his lines for an audition, I really should’ve just driven away.

-

The second time you slept together was a spur of the moment thing. You were in your apartment one night, lonely as ever. You scrolled through Instagram and then looked at one of Junhui’s posts. It was a picture of him at a concert with Joshua and Joshua’s new girlfriend.

Your heart felt as if it were ripped in two. 

Before you knew it, you were going to Junhui’s contact on your phone and pressing “call”. It rang a few times, so much so that you thought the call would go to voicemail.

“Y/N?” Junhui asked, disbelief thick in his voice.

You felt a twisted sense of pride settle in you. He always picked up your calls.

“Hey Jun, you doing anything right now?”

On the other line, Junhui was on his computer, paying the bills.

“No, I’m not.” He lied.

You heard a laptop shut on the other line. You had to stifle a scoff.

“How about you come over?”

Junhui wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. He absolutely refused to do so. 

But he really missed you.

“Be there in fifteen minutes.” 

(He arrived in ten.)

-

Junhui started visiting the diner again. You still worked there, as diligent and positive as ever. 

You two would leave together just about every time Junhui went. 

When he laid in bed beside you after you found sleep, Junhui let himself feel a sliver of hope. Maybe you loved him back…

He noticed the peaceful rise and fall of your chest, covered with bruises due to his wandering mouth. And the feelings came rushing in at such a high speed that Junhui had difficulty breathing.

That was real. It was so, undeniably real. Junhui had slept with you on numerous occasions, but you never tried to initiate anything more. Despite his lingering feelings of faith, he knew that if he ever tried to become something more to you, you would push him away.

You didn’t love him.

(You loved Joshua.)

-

Maybe Junhui knew he was your rebound all along. Maybe he let himself be your toy because he’d do anything for you.

But, when you came into his apartment that night, hand-in-hand with Joshua, Junhui just couldn’t contain the pain he was feeling.

He expected it, to be quite honest. That still didn’t stop it from hurting more than anything else he could have ever felt. You were a gamble, a risky and selfish gamble, and he had just lost a million dollars. 

When you tried to sneak out of the apartment that night, you still couldn’t get by Junhui. He sat on the couch, mindlessly reading his phone, like he used to do around you.

“Listen, Jun–”

“Don’t say that.” Junhui hissed, nothing but pure venom in his voice. 

“Jun, what are you–”

“Don’t say my name. Don’t try to explain anything either. And, don’t pretend to care, I know you don’t.” 

You scoffed, your entire apologetic demeanor changing.

“You knew what you were doing.” You rebutted. Junhui’s jaw clenched, and for the first time, you were the reason for his anger. He thought of the second time he met you, when you were a happy-go-lucky waitress in a shitty diner. 

He should have known it was all a facade. He should have known you.

“So did you. You knew you were just using me as some sort of fucking toy, even though you also knew I was madly in love with you.”

Despite the unstoppable storm of anger and melancholy inside of Junhui, he was eerily calm on the outside. His voice was quiet, and for once, sure of himself. The thing he was so sure of was, in fact, your love for him. Or lack thereof.

“Why would I ever even consider loving you? You’re a failed actor who–”

“Actually, I’m not a ‘failed actor’ anymore. I’ve been preparing for this one role for a while, and I got it. It’s for this new movie…”

Junhui could’ve also went into the fact that you were a fucking waitress at a shit hole of a diner, saving up for your own business, but he didn’t.

You were obviously taken aback. Junhui felt a slight twinge of pride for being the one that made you feel something, instead of it always being the other way around.

“I should go.” 

Junhui wanted to stop you, for some odd reason. He couldn’t get over his paralyzing love for you through just one argument.

There was something in your eyes. Maybe it was a glint of regret. Maybe you wanted Junhui to tell you to stay.

“Yeah, you should.” Was what he said instead.

(So you left, and Junhui let you. Junhui would look back on it years later with nothing but criticism for himself. You were such a mistake.)

[everwitch-magiks]

dance with somebody (ch. 5)

(ch. 1) (ch. 2) (ch. 3) (ch. 4)

Whiskey takes the stairs two steps at a time.

His heart is racing as he turns the corner, immediately heading for his own room. He barely registers passing by a vaguely curious Hops as he practically runs the last few steps. As soon as he's made it inside, he closes the door firmly behind himself and then locks it.

Whiskey's pulse is frighteningly close to a level that's comparable to mid-game in the playoffs, when the call finally connects.

“... Connor?”

Whiskey tries to take a breath – not even a deep breath, for fucks sake, if he could just fucking breathe at all-

“Beth. Hey.”

For some reason, Bethany Whisk almost laughs.

“For someone who did not just come out to our entire extended family, you sure sound like shit, Connor.”

Whiskey let’s himself sink down onto his bed, his head in his hands.

“What, uh. When’d you… How bad is it?”

The text hadn’t exactly clarified much. just outed myself to my parents and yours, over sunday dinner. everything a lil yikes. thought u should know

“Pretty bad.” Beth’s voice is strangely calm. “Although actually, not quite the worst case scenario? But close, yeah. Real close.”

“Shit,” Whiskey mutters.

“Yeah. My dad’s gone off somewhere – he sort of just got up and left, pretty soon after I’d said it? So that’ll be lots of fun when he gets back. Mom’s a lot calmer, comparatively. Said she needs to think. Which I’ve classified as ambiguous, but not completely hopeless.”

“What about…” Whiskey begins, his tone hoarse, and then he doesn’t finish the sentence.

He can’t finish the sentence.

“Oh, your folks weren’t too bad.” Beth pauses for a moment, as if to think. “I got the feeling they weren’t really angry – it was more like pity, I guess? Which wasn’t super fun either, gotta admit that. Your mom said it’s so sad I’ll never have children, and so of course I had to deliver the news that many lesbian women have plenty of kids, and then she looked, like, super confused. I’m so fucking relieved she stopped asking questions, after that.”

Whiskey gets up, only to sit back down again. He’s trembling all over. It’s almost like he can feel the way his whole world has just shifted, like there’s an actual, physical change between right now and five minutes ago.

"Are you… D'you need anything? What can I do?"

"Oh, Connor." Beth's tone is uncharacteristically soft. "You know, I pretty much knew I’d never have to worry about your reaction. Because actually, I have a feeling you get it – like, really get it. Don’t you?”

Whiskey freezes.

"Considering your hockey team," Beth continues, completely oblivious. "Your captain is the first out something, isn’t he? Which is so cool, by the way, even though I don’t give many fucks about hockey.”

It takes Whiskey a moment to find his voice again.

"First out NCAA men’s hockey captain,” he rattles off, and it’s lucky that’s something he could quote in his sleep, or he’d get the words all mixed up. “Yeah, uh. That was Bitty. He graduated this spring. But our captain this year – Dex – is actually dating his defence partner, so.”

"Defence what now?"

"Another player on our team."

“Wow,” Beth says, and there’s something not unlike wonder in her tone. “I guess it’s all true, those things they say about Samwell.”

“Yeah,” Whiskey returns unsteadily. “You have no idea, Beth.”

Beth is quiet for a moment.

“So I’m flying back tomorrow,” she says, and for some reason her voice sounds a little different from before – more determined. “You know, Samwell is less than a four hour drive from Columbia.”

“Is that so.”

“It is. We could, y’know. Hang out sometime? Anyway, you should meet Melanie.”

“... Oh,” Whiskey says, and it’s like he has to pause and process all over again. “Melanie. Huh.”

“You’ll like Mel,” Beth says eagerly. “And I could meet your team, maybe? That’d be fun.”

“That would be fun,” Whiskey says after a beat – it surprises him, that he actually, genuinely means it. He’s missed Beth. “Yeah. We should do that.”

“See, this is why you’re my favourite cousin.” Beth sounds extremely pleased. “Josh and Amy haven’t even returned my texts, yet.”

“To be fair, they kind of always sucked.”

“You speak the truth, my friend. Nothing but the truth.”

“Seriously, though,” Whiskey says. “If you, like, need anything? Anything at all? Let me know. We’ll figure it out.”

“Thank you.” Beth’s tone is warm. “I think I’ll be fine. Like I said, I’m flying back tomorrow, and once I’m back at school there’s not much mom and dad can do, even if they try. I’m on a full scholarship, plus I’ve already got a paid internship lined up for next summer, so I’m basically financially independent at this point. And I’ve made some really amazing friends at Columbia. They’ll help me out.”

“They’ve got your back?”

“Definitely.”

“Okay. Good.”

“So,” Beth continues, her tone for some reason a bit sly. “Your mom told me you’re back together with that girl from Phoenix? That was right before I dropped the big lesbian bomb on everyone, so I didn’t get to ask her, like, anything.”

“... Yeah,” Whiskey confirms uneasily. “We got back together during spring break last semester, yeah.”

“That’s nice.”

“I guess.”

“You guess? Don’t you know?”

“I mean, I don’t see her a lot,” Whiskey tries.

Beth hums. “Long distance, huh. That’s tough.”

“No, that’s not…” Whiskey draws a shaky breath. It’s so much easier to lie to everyone else. “Beth. Can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything, C.”

“Right.” Whiskey tries to keep his voice steady. “Just, can you promise me to… To pretend like I didn’t actually tell you? To just never bring it up again. Ever.”

“I mean, sure.” Beth’s tone is kind, if a little surprised. “If that’s what you want, sure.”

Whiskey closes his eyes, and breathes in.

“I slept with a guy.”

For a moment, Beth is quiet.

“All right,” she says gently. “You know that’s not the end of the world, right?”

“No, I guess.” Whiskey’s voice is shaking. “I’m just… I don’t know.”

Beth hums. “You want to do it again?”

“We uh, we did.” Whiskey clears his throat. “A few times. Last semester.”

“Hold up,” Beth says, her tone startled. “You’ve been sleeping with a guy? Frequently?”

“Not since last semester,” Whiskey reminds her quickly. “But, uh, yeah. For a while there it was every now and then.”

Beth is quiet for a moment.

“Is this the part where I smoothly change the subject and we never speak of this again? Because I’m, like, dying to get all the details.”

Whiskey almost smiles.

Somehow, breathing feels a little easier than before.

“He’s on the lacrosse team,” he supplies, surprising himself.

“Athletic,” Beth concludes, her tone giddy. “Fit? Hot?”

“Really fit,” Whiskey admits. “And like, tall?”

“Fucking get it, Connor!” Beth laughs. “But you’re not seeing each other, anymore?”

“I’m back together with my girlfriend,” Whiskey reminds her tersely. “And me and that guy weren’t ever officially anything.”

“Right,” Beth agrees easily. “Still. Glad to hear you’re getting the full Samwell experience.”

“You could say that.” Whiskey sighs. “I just. I’m not sure… I don’t think I can ever do what you just did.”

“Okay,” Beth says gently. “Do you have to, though?”

“I mean, eventually,” Whiskey tells her uneasily. “Right? People come out, eventually.”

“Not everyone does. Some people don’t.”

Whiskey blinks.

“There’s really a lot more to being gay than coming out,” Beth continues. “I would know.”

“I’m not gay,” Whiskey says reflexively – and really, he isn’t. Not strictly.

“No labels, then? Cool, cool." There's warmth in Beth's voice as she continues. "You'll figure all of this out, Connor. I'm sure you will."

"You're not the first person to tell me that."

"Let's hope I won't be the last," Beth says brightly. "So. How many people know?"

"Noone," Whiskey says quickly – too quickly. "Well, you know now. Bitty found out accidentally, and I almost told Dex. Plus I guess that guy I was with has a hunch."

"Right," Beth says, and there's no judgement in her tone. "So when we come to see you, this conversation never happened. Obviously, I'm not telling Melanie."

"Yeah," Whiskey agrees. "Thank you. Thank you so much, Beth."

"No problem. And on that happy subject, when’s a good weekend for me and Mel to drive up for some Samwell shenanigans?”

“I can send you our game schedule," Whiskey suggests.

“Connor, you know I love you, but please tell me you don’t expect me to sit through an entire game of sports.”

“I mostly meant so you’ll know when we have away games,” Whiskey says, and to his own surprise he’s grinning slightly. “You know, so that I’m not in fucking New Jersey when you show up here.”

“Okay, fair point.” Beth pauses. “By the way. Are you any good?”

“What, at hockey?”

“No, at table tennis.” The eye-roll is near audible.

“I am,” Whiskey says. “Good, I mean. I’m the top scorer on our team.”

“Well, that’s only good if the team is.”

“You know, maybe you guys should actually drive up for a game weekend,” Whiskey tells her. “It’s really not a complete Samwell experience without a proper post-game kegster.”

“A what now?”

“A party, Beth. A huge party. At the hockey frat.”

“See, now you’re talking,” Beth says excitedly. “Hey. Mind if I bring some friends?”

(ch. 6)