#it’s getting harder to live without faith or you or whatever we choose to call what calls to us in the quiet…..! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

carmensapientia · 3 years ago

Text

We’re Not Looking For Perfection + You’re Making Yourself Miserable: A Call Out Post

Today I’m going to talk about how people make themselves miserable when manifesting and why manifesting should be fun and for you! I’ll also share ways to make manifesting fun! This is just a fun call-out post for those who worry about manifesting and being perfect all the time. Relax it’s not needed!

The number one reason why people make themselves miserable when manifesting is forgetting why they started manifesting and by trying to be perfect when manifesting. Manifesting is a tool to get anything you want without having to do anything! You just have to think beautiful, wonderful thoughts to get what you want, and isn't that amazing. We're all beautiful, powerful beings and we can live the life of our dreams. When manifesting, forget about being perfect and remember why you're doing this. You do not need to be perfect and do everything all the time perfectly correct every single time to manifest! Remember the feeling of excitement when you first discovered manifesting and when you think of your goals. Hold onto those feelings when you begin feeling upset with yourself or frustrated with the journey. Remember: manifesting is fun, exciting and effortless naturally! Make it fun for you! Do the methods you enjoy, use affirmations that feel natural, and let go of the need to be perfect when manifesting. By being perfect, I mean let go of the pressure to work on all your "issues". Like I mention in this post, nothing can stop your desire and there are no such things as obstacles. There's no inner child healing, working on limiting beliefs, or healing subconscious patterns that you have to do to get your desire. It's yours no matter what. Think and get it. There's nothing outside of that. A lot of people do this, letting go of their true power(their mind) and placing too much power into healing and fixing yourself. People subconsciously search for reasons why they can't manifest and self-sabotage themselves. Misery is comfortable for a lot of people hence why the victim mentality exists. Get rid of the victim mentality, stop trying to fix yourself and your manifestation and let go of the woe is me i'm miserable and frustrated mindset! Stop making yourself comfortable with the negative. Think, do and be positive. Watch your thoughts and change your mind. Change your mind, change your life. Furthermore, people do many other things that make it much harder for them to manifest.

A huge reason why people make themselves miserable with manifesting is by worrying about other people's opinions. Who cares if you manifest looking different, moving to a new house, being rich etc. Get out of your own head and realize this is your own life. People will always have opinions of you so why not live the life you want while they do so? Remember it's not for them, it's for you! Also P.S ppl rlly don't worry or think about other people's lives as much as you think they do. It's all projection ;)

Another reason is looking for new methods and techniques and then getting confused. Let me clarify: you can do the methods/whatever you want but you have to *persist* in them. Stop doing them for 3 days and then get mad and move on to something else. Persist! Stop looking for something new and starting over. Start with what you have and adjust after you've persisted and you're sure it doesn't work(which shouldn't happen because everything works when you persist!). Do what makes you feel comfortable *consistently*.

Another reason why people are miserable is again that they choose to be because it's comfortable. A lot of people are choosing to be angry and aggressive when manifesting bc they're told feelings don’t matter which is true. Feelings don't matter but they do *help*. By having positive emotions, you can feel better and have more faith in your desires thus making them manifest easier. Yes, you can affirm while angry and crying and get your desires. But why would you choose that if you could enjoy the journey and be happier. Teachers like Sammy, Netta etc will teach you to affirm even in anger and affirm like a "boss bitch" and like u rule everything. If that works for you and makes you feel empowered, do it. The power of the law is choice! If it doesn't work for you, switch your way of affirming/persisting to one that's more gentle, happier and kinder. See this post for more.

One of the main reasons why people “suffer” when manifesting is by ignoring the 3d and not using it as a tool. This is a longer, rewritten part of an ask I was given today. Logic doesn’t matter in manifesting, time doesn’t exist, etc are something we hear quite often and I personally agree but only to a certain degree. However, people need to realize that logic, time and 3d are tools given to you to get your desires faster, better and stronger. A lot of people in the community try to see it was like omg don't worry about time it doesn't even exist like dont even worry about it and I personally think that’s B.s because of course time exists and scientists do study it. We live in a society that revolves around time, animals and nature work with time and seasons and we as humans can instinctively tell time based upon the sun. I think many ppl in the community discredit anything they might view as hard and thus overcomplicate things instead of realizing nothing can stop ur desire, everything works out for u and anything can be a tool. You don’t have to see time as something that doesn’t exist if that’s hard for you. You don’t have to ignore logic if you don’t want to. I use logic all the time in my desires and it helps so much. I always see everything in my reality as signs and make it so that it’s a sign/logical way for me to get my desires. For example, if I want a car and my current one is shitty I’ll just say oh well it’s good that it’s shitty bc i can get a new one and it makes perfect sense that it’s breaking down right now it’s a sign i’m getting my new one!” See how that works with logic rather than against. I also see a lot of ppl being like ignore the 3d ignore time and like you don’t have to do any of that. You can react to the 3d, live in the 3d, think about time, etc and still get your desire. You can literally time passing as like omg this desire is literally getting better and better everyday, i’m getting my desire so quickly, the more time i spend manifesting the better it will come out, im getting my desires every day including today, etc time always helps me with my desires etc instead of trying to ignore this very obvious and important matter in our lives. You can see circumstances as the same way. Like yes, my circumstances are changing, I’m in the perfect place to get what I want, everything is unfolding, thank god everything about this situation is changing and I just this all happened for me to get my desires. It’s acknowledging what you have, what you want and that you’re on the perfect ride to get there no matter what. At the same time, deadlines exist which is a perfect example of how time is helpful as well. You can work with time, logic, and circumstances to get what you want. However, if those doesn’t resonate with you: let it fly. You don’t have to follow my teachings exactly! This is just how i see it hope this helps <3

My point is: enjoy the journey and enjoy the process. Don’t be afraid of the process, embrace it and learn to love it no matter what happens.The journey is the fun part, the destination is extra. Your desires are extra and the strength, power, excitement etc you feel from affirming/commanding/methoding is amazing when you truly tap into. Enjoy the journey so much that you don't even realize you have manifested your desires! That's all.

Xoxo, love carmen <3

#law of abundance #law of assumption #law of attraction #law of manifestation #law of the universe #spells #witchcraft #divination #astrology #sigils #tarot #affirmations #manifestation #divine feminine #hypergamy #level up #black women in leisure #black women in luxury

551 notes · View notes

novelconcepts · 4 years ago

Text

fic: the thing about gravity

The thing about gravity is...

Well, the thing about gravity is, it’s inescapable, isn’t it? By definition. Gravity: noun. The force that attracts a body toward the center of the earth, or toward any other physical body having mass. You don’t fight gravity. You plan for it, or plan around it; you don’t fight.

The thing about gravity is, it doesn’t let go just because its convenient. It doesn’t let go because time marches onward, because the seasons change, even in the event a person wants it to.

The thing about gravity, Jamie sometimes thinks--more and more, if she’s honest with herself, as the years roll by and the memories grow thinner--is in its inevitability.

Maybe this wasn’t what Dani would have wanted. Maybe not. But there’s something about it Jamie hasn’t been able to let go of. Not the year Dani left her. Not the year after that. Not sitting at Flora’s wedding, regaling a room of mostly-strangers with the tale of their life together.

Not now.

There’s a lot in life a person chooses, thinks Jamie, watching herself move around the bathroom in a mirror scrubbed clean as ever. Her hands are precise, her motions certain; if they tremble upon the toothbrush, the lipstick, the washcloth, it’s nothing of alarm. Nothing of note. Just part and parcel of moving forward through the years.

Moving forward, as it were, alone.

She hates that word, Jamie does. Alone. Didn’t use to. Used to be, alone suited her just fine. Maybe better than anything else. Alone left no room for other people’s manipulations, for sharp words or hot water spilled on soft skin. Alone could allow for accidents, but not embarrassments. Not shame. Just the art of learning the next path forward on your own time.

And then came blue eyes, thumbs tucked into fists, a brandished fire poker. An adoration Jamie had never before thought she needed. A kiss in a greenhouse, watched by ghosts.

She wouldn’t trade any of it, even now. Not an inch of what she was able to buy, borrow, and steal with Dani. It was theirs--the messy nights, the languid mornings, the hot tears, the tight embraces. It was theirs, every fern and ficus, every flower, every burned stew and perfect, beautiful laugh. She didn’t get enough time with Dani--Christ, could anything ever be enough, with Dani?--but she knows it was more than they were promised. More than anyone’s promised. She’s grateful, as the lines spring up around her eyes, drawing webs of exhaustion into her skin. She’s grateful, as the strength seeps out of her knees and her hands begin to ache in the cold. She’s so goddamn grateful.

And still. Still, that pull. Because gravity doesn’t fade with time. Gravity doesn’t release simply because other people say it should.

In a way, Jamie finds this reassuring. This one thing, this one immutable fact of reality. Even as Miles raises sons of his own, as Flora develops a line of children’s dolls far more advanced than anything she grafted as child, as Owen begins preparing to pass his restaurant down to those younger and more spry. Henry’s gone now, long gone, and Jamie sometimes wonders if he felt it, near the end. If the pull tugged at his trouser leg in those last moments like an errant child.

Probably not. Henry had his own kind of gravity, didn’t he, made up of those kids and their parents and their bundled-up tragedy. Wasn’t like this. Wasn’t like this at all. She hopes he was happy when he went in his sleep, buoyed on soft dreams of a lost lover’s caress. Hopes he left those kids knowing they’d made it through all the shadows and into the sunlight on the other side.

Owen laughs a lot, when they see each other, about who’s likely to go next. He thinks it’ll be him. She asks him once what he believes he’ll see on the other side, and he’s silent for a long stretch. Long enough for her to know his kind of gravity hasn’t let go, either.

“She’d want to be,” he says quietly, gesturing toward the ceiling of his flat. “You know. Up there.”

“If anyone could get in,” Jamie mutters, and they’re both grinning. He’s regrown his mustache, a fit of youthful pique that makes her feel like they’re both thirty again. She reaches up, almost expecting to find soil caked into her hair.

“I’ve never known what to believe,” he says. “Not the way she did, not with any kind of...faith. But I like to think we get back what we put in. That if she believed she’d go to heaven, to her Heaven, then that’s what she got.”

Jamie waits. She knows him too well, knows he’s getting around to it. And, after another thoughtful sip of wine, he does.

“I don’t know what to believe,” he repeats, and there's the faintest tremor in his voice. “But I know what I would love. I hope...I hope she’s left a place for me. In whatever way you can.”

Jamie reaches over, squeezes his hand. He presses the other to his eyes, inhales deeply.

“Well,” she says at last, “you’ll have to ring me when you find out. I plan to beat you there.”

And they laugh, laugh like old times, like bulky jackets in the rain and spitting bonfires and cake that maybe needs strawberry, maybe needs lemon. They laugh, him believing she’s joking, her knowing she isn’t.

Fact is, with some kinds of gravity, you can feel it. Tugging at your clothes. Whispering around your hair with the breeze. Guiding you forward like a soft hand at the small of your back. Maybe not everyone is granted this kind of luxury, but Jamie thinks Dani was. Thinks it explains everything, really.

And hasn’t she been smelling Dani more and more, after all these years? Not just when she stumbles upon an old package in the back of the closet, a shirt she somehow missed after all this time, but just...sitting. Just sitting with a book, or waking in the night with the sensation of an arm around her waist. It’ll come without warning, a hint of Dani, and then gone.

And hasn’t she been hearing Dani, in the strangest of ways? A snatch of song hummed from a lifetime away. A single peal of that deliriously-breathless laughter. A sigh, the way she only sighed when Jamie kissed her collarbone. Never for any reason she can clarify, never from something so lucky as a tape or a video, just...a signal. Brief. Echoing.

It’s madness, she thinks at first, and then, slowly...no. Not madness. Memory. Memory returning, a little stronger, a little clearer, every year. As if some great cosmic force is actually funneling Dani back to her, instead of clearing out the last of the cobwebs.

A gift. The greatest gift. She can’t say whether she’s earned it, and she certainly isn’t going to try explaining it to anyone else, but...

She wakes one morning, and thinks, is this how she felt? Is this how she knew? There was a note when Dani went, a single page dictated in her slightly-slanted script. Not an explanation or an excuse; simply I love you, and I loved you, and I will love you. There will be other nights, Jamie. Live.

And Jamie did, she thinks with a stab of impatience even now. Jamie did live. For years, for decades, she’s gone on without that smile. Without having Dani there on the other end of the phone, without Dani’s hands on her hips when they danced, without Dani’s ring clinking lightly against her own as they bumped hands across a dinner table. Without Dani, she crawled out of bed each morning and walked through another day. And another. And another. She attended weddings and funerals without Dani; held Miles’ son without Dani; hugged Flora tight as she wept over some accident or other without Dani. She walked the world and she hurt and she cried and she lived without Dani.

And now...

Now, that old gravity. Coming to call.

It isn’t a bad thing, Jamie thinks all the way over on the plane. She’s a picture of parallel storytelling, dressed in her oldest brown flannel shirt, a pair of jeans with holes in the knees, a pair of Converse high-tops that never quite fit right again after a trip into a lake. Her back is bowed, and her hip clicks when she walks from the taxi up the winding drive. It’s not the same, exactly, as last time.

In a way, that’s the greatest mercy. She never could have done this, if she’d thought she’d walk that same path as the same woman who did it so many years ago. The path is the same, perhaps, but the woman is changed. The woman has learned so much about what it is to live in a world that doesn’t have Dani Clayton in it.

She doesn't go to the lake. She goes instead to the house, to whose front door Miles has so kindly granted her a key. He thinks she’s after pure nostalgia, searching for monsters or memories he doesn’t even know he’s missing. Just an old woman, trying to tie her life together with an attractive bow.

Bless him. He doesn’t need to understand this. If any of them ever do put it together, it will be Owen, and Owen alone. She thinks he might be a little upset with her, but not unforgiving. She thinks, if it had been Hannah, he’d do the same thing.

Bly yawns open to her, a great good place brimming over with great complicated history. She walks its rooms slowly, hands brushing over tables and wallpaper and the spot where she always leaned her hip and tossed chopped vegetables into Flora’s hair. She remembers: fixing this lamp, retiling this bathroom, sweeping this front hall. This was hers, before she ever thought to have anything else. A great good place to keep safe and sane.

The kitchen is hard. Upstairs is harder. Her knees creak, and she has to pause for breath before laying her hand on that doorknob. She tells herself it’s old lungs, too many cigarettes, too little clean country air. She tells herself it’s anything except the truth.

For moment, she’s granted one of those gifts. A windfall of blonde hair on the pillowcase, a bare shoulder, a single freckle she’d gone nearly wild upon finding on otherwise clear skin. She closes her eyes, breathes in the stale air of a room gone unused for decades, and thinks it might be the moment right here and now. That fist of gravity, tightening like a reflex around her heart.

But, no. Not yet. There’s one place, one more sight to see.

The sun is nearly set by the time she reaches the greenhouse. She leans her weight against the doorframe, peering inside. It hurts her a little, to see the chaos that has unfurled in her absence. Miles is a good man, but he’s never been much for plants, for quiet cultivation, for long stretches of silence alone in a humid space. Without Jamie’s tending, the life in this room has sprung up in all the wrong places, gone absolutely bananas in all the wrong ways. It isn’t pretty, it isn’t neat, and she almost hates it.

Organic, she thinks wryly, tapping a fist once, twice, against the doorframe. It’s all just bloody organic, and who am I to try to prune any of it now?

She walks the room like she walked the house, slow, methodical. Tipped-over planters, she sets to rights. Weeds gone feral, she brushes her fingertips across. It’s not pretty in here, but it is most certainly alive. More alive than it ever was in her care, maybe. There’s something to that.

A blanket is still spread across the little sofa she used to nap on when the days got especially hot and lazy. She settles herself in, drapes the musty plaid over her lap, leans back against the arm. If she squints, she can almost see another frame wedged in beside her, stiff and trying not to take up too much space.

Oy. Dead boyfriend. It’s over.

It’s a laugh that tastes more like a sob--just one of those dumb little things, one of many that still can set her off at a moment’s notice, and is it still called a haunting if you wouldn’t give it up for the world?--and she bites into her knuckles to muffle the sound. The sky outside has gone a rolling purple, nearly at day’s end. It was a nice sunset, she thinks. A good send-off.

When they find her--when Miles finds her, to be most specific--they’ll think this is how the story ends. An old woman in a greenhouse, asleep. An old woman in a greenhouse, enveloped in endless dream. Miles will cry. He will hoist her into his arms, stand with her the way she once could stand with him on a long night spent dozing by the fireplace, and he will carry her with all the tenderness a ten-year-old boy can never manage.

It will be a fitting end, for the gardener.

It will not be the last of Jamie Clayton.

When she wakes next, the arthritis in her hands has gone. Her knees bend--a bit of resistance, perhaps, but nothing insurmountable. Her eyes peer through the shadows with a keen awareness she’s almost forgotten.

The ring on her finger gleams--not the tarnished luster of decades’ wear, but like the first time Dani slid it over the knuckle, brought it to her lips, baptized it with a nervous breath. She touches it lightly. Glances back over her shoulder at the old woman beneath her thin blanket. Takes a good, long look to cement gravity’s hold.

Live, she thinks, god, yes, Dani. I lived. And when all was said and done, wasn’t I always going to choose you? Wasn’t I always going to come home?

And here, the part of the story she’s been afraid to flip to all these years. The part she can’t plan for. Can’t spin into something fairy-tale or ghostly. It simply is, simply will be, and whatever happens now, Jamie’s stuck into it. Jamie is in the grip of gravity, as she’d always sort of thought she might be.

A soft rap, knuckles--or a mug--against the greenhouse door. Jamie closes her eyes. Can’t quite bring herself to turn, not yet.

Even if, she tells herself. Even if it isn’t right. Even if those eyes aren’t hers. Even if those eyes aren’t there at all.

“Seems an awful long way,” a voice says, mildly amused, “to not even say hello.”

The strength goes out of her all at once, even as she’s spinning, even as her hands are reaching, and Owen was right. Owen was righter than he’ll ever know. It’s what you believe, it’s what you need, it’s what you hope in every stupid aching molecule because sometimes, sometimes the world is not so random and cruel.

Dani could have stepped out of that night, her sweater tucked down past her wrists, her hair pulled back out of her face, and her face. As bright and shining with possibility as ever Jamie remembers. Her eyes, blue as the summer sky. Her lips, finding Jamie’s like there wasn’t so much as a day gone without.

“Didn’t know,” Jamie realizes she’s gasping. “Didn’t know if it would--if you would--”

Dani presses into her forehead, nose nuzzling gently, lips stealing her breath. A ghost story in the flesh--and yet, somehow, a fairy-tale, too. A woman, and a memory, and a heartbeat made of something so precious, Jamie’s sure she isn't worthy.

“You cheated,” Dani says, laughing into the side of her face, kissing everywhere she can reach. “You weren’t meant to follow me.”

She doesn’t sound angry. She sounds as in love as she was the night she tried to coax Jamie into just one more kiss in that hallway.

“You asked me to come back,” Jamie reminds her, hands anchored around Dani’s back, feeling young and strong and better than the last few decades could dream. “You asked me to stay.”

Gravity’s like that. Gravity’s bigger than one person’s selfless heart, bigger than one person’s desperation. Gravity pulls, and maybe it takes time--maybe all things have their time, their place, their two months of blossom for every plant--but, eventually, gravity always wins out. And Jamie could ask questions: how it all works, why Dani’s still Dani, how much of it they’ll remember as the time slips away into nothing. She could make a story out of it.

Instead, she pulls Dani close, winds the fingers of her left hand with the fingers of Dani’s right, and thinks every ghost story needs an ending like this. An ending steeped in love, in mystery, in shadow, in forever.

The thing about gravity is, no matter how long it takes, it always pulls you toward home.

#the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of bly manor spoilers #fanfiction #dani x jamie #jamie x dani #all right look it's not like I'm going to be banging one of these out every night (probably)#but sometimes it just lives in my head and needs to leave #had an ask once that's been begging to be expanded on ever since #also oops made myself cry with this one

144 notes · View notes

whiteheartlight · 4 years ago

Text

Image ID: one of my fave Tahu moments is when he’s confessing to Gali about tricking them into the capsules and she’s described as his “dearest friend.” if you’re willing, could you write a post of Tahu’s relationships with all the Nuva as you interpret it? Also, I always found it funny how the Nuva learned all these lessons with hydration (work together, etc) and immediately messed them all up on Mata Nui. End ID.

got a great request from Fish so yes here are some things I love about Tahu’s relationships with his siblings!! okay you guys know I’m a little talkative so I’ll just go one-by-one and reblog as I write more hahaha.

Kopaka and Tahu

I talk about this all the time but honestly the fact that they hated each other so much at first but then learned to be not only teammates but friends and even leader and right-hand man together is genuinely so amazing and something I really really love about their relationship

also they’re funny as hell together even before they become friends. like they hate each other so passionately. Tahu’s such a living temper tantrum about him (literally jealous of Kopaka from the first time they meet) and Kopaka’s just so irritated 24/7 (just walks the fuck away when Tahu’s annoying him in the first book). their interactions are really funny but also reveal a lot about their characters from the start, which is really important. and even when they hate each other, they have each other’s backs!

that moment in their training where Tahu almost makes Kopaka smile because he thinks to pretend to surrender, and Kopaka can’t help but be a little impressed by him. and that moment where Tahu’s just in awe that Kopaka found the Bohrok cave!! they’re honestly both very aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses - probably part of the reason they work so well together by the end of the story.

I know we joke about Kopaka thinking it’s funny to freeze Tahu when he’s corrupted by the Rahkshi, but his “sorry, brother” is very soft and genuine and he does not for a SECOND mock Tahu’s corruption or snark at him while he’s ill. He helps cure Tahu without hesitation, does whatever Gali asks of him to look after him, and looks after Gali and Lewa like a leader would while Tahu is down - and then fucks off again without explanation to avoid emotional discussions, hahaha. asshole, i love him

Kopaka also protects and reassures Tahu’s Matoran the moment they’re in danger! not that he would let them get hurt, but he’s even affectionate with Takua and Jaller (pat pat). I’m sure they would both honor their duty to protect each other’s homes and Matoran without hesitation

the fact that Kopaka does, in fact, eventually let Tahu lead him is like... okay not to be dramatic, but that’s a beautiful show of trust and forgiveness. Kopaka totally lays down his pride for the good of the team because he sees the good in Tahu and he’s come to trust that Tahu will, in turn, respect his independence and care for their siblings. and Tahu, likewise, sees all the good in Kopaka and trusts him as his deputy, leaving him in charge of Lewa and Pohatu. the bond between them is very deep and they trust each other so much now.

and in fact Kopaka laying down his pride to let Tahu lead is something that happens from the very beginning, when they’re still with Hydraxon!! Kopaka wants to tell the others that they’re going to be in the Toa capsules, but he lets Tahu make the decision - and even stops Lewa from asking questions about it!!! Kopaka has a strong sense of duty, and that duty tells him to respect that this person was chosen as his leader even when he doesn’t like it. that faith in the Great Spirit’s plan eventually leads him to see that Tahu is in fact a great Toa and his leader, and that he was able to earn that respect from his Ice Toa must honestly be a huge source of pride and confidence for Tahu as well as a motivator to never lose that respect and always respect Kopaka in return.

that moment!! where Kopaka!! falls and burns his leg in the lava and Tahu is the one who grabs him and helps him back up!! like yes they would all help each other if they were about to get hurt, but imagine - this is perhaps the worst Kopaka’s ever been hurt, he’s been burned twice now and is probably choking on smoke inhalation, he’s exhausted without his mask and from passing out, and in this moment of agony and fear his Fire Toa stops and comes back and heaves him to his feet and drags him to safety before any more harm can come to him. they! have! each other’s! backs! and they know that!

also that moment where Kopaka walks straight through Tahu’s wall of fire and Tahu is just stunned by this and gets this moment where he sees just how deadly his brother could be when he’s truly angry, to the point that Tahu tells the others to stop Kopaka from hurting the Matoran. it’s that acknowledgement of each other’s weaknesses and strengths again, and the way you protect your brother when he’s not himself. they’re like two natural disasters who see each other for the power they have and learn to balance each other out.

when they have to start a fire together even though they’ve both lost their elemental powers... Idk that just makes me laugh hahaha. Gali’s just watching her idiots trying to solve their problems. I love her

(okay I know even I have talked a lot about their arguing but honestly?? honestly?? let me level with you: they really don’t fight that much after the first couple months hahaha. everyone gets after Tahu for being an aggressive jerk but he mellows out and learns to respect Kopaka and the others pretty quickly and even in the beginning he can be very affectionate at times. honestly I don’t think their fighting was ever as bad as some of the Toa Metru fighting, so try to be a little gentler on Tahu!!)

that moment when Tahu’s so happy to see Kopaka and Lewa and Pohatu come down from the sky to help the Mistika... that’s LOVE BABY he LOVES HIS TEAM AND HIS RIGHT HAND AND IS PROUD TO LEAD THEM DON’T FIGHT ME ON THIS

when Tahu and Kopaka talk about Lesovikk and Karzahni, Tahu isn’t bossy at all and really respects Kopaka’s concerns, listens to him, and lets him do what he feels he needs to do. it’s pretty clear that the contention between them is gone and they don’t have any issues letting each other be independent

some headcanons!!!

I bet they love to spar/play-fight together and both know each other’s fighting styles REALLY well. it’s scary when they fight because they both go wild, knowing each other’s limits, so it can look like a real fight

at this point, Kopaka just has to give Tahu a LOOK and he knows exactly what it is that’s annoying him. Recently, they’ve been exchanging a lot of looks as they try to play politician with stubborn Agori.... but it cheers Tahu up knowing that at the end of the day, Kopaka’s just as annoyed as he is and always has his back

I like to think that a Fire Toa choosing an Ice Toa as his right-hand man is REALLY unconventional and even looked down on by some. people doubt that they can work together or that a Fire Toa and Ice Toa aren’t supposed to get along that well, as it requires compromise on their natures, which are supposed to clash. but Kopaka is not ashamed to stand at Tahu’s side and Tahu knows no one could direct and support him quite the way Kopaka can.

I bet they do still fight sometimes, but they work so much harder at actually having productive fights and calling each other out when they’re messing up without making personal attacks on them or not being constructive about it. they hate having to do this, so most of the time they just try to be really direct and then just accept each other’s criticism. “you’re being a dick right now” “okay, fine, I’ll tone it down!!” or “you’re wrong about this battle plan” “well, show me what you would do, asshole.” honestly, they’ve gotten pretty chill about insulting each other casually. it’s almost affectionate at this point. they have to stop themselves from swearing at each other in official meetings

I wonder if Tahu’s kind of worried about Kopaka after the Last Battle... it’s canon that Kopaka’s really exhausted and questioning a lot of things, but it’s never really explained what lead up to that. is he hurt? is he grieving? is he just going through it right now and under a lot of stress? Tahu can tell that’s something’s wrong, but he doesn’t know what - and despite all their progress, emotional conversations are still weird to them. he’s just hoping Kopaka will be back from that Red Star soon - concerns aside, he needs his deputy’s help dealing with everything that’s going on!!

the two of them are perhaps the most homesick for Mata Nui. it’s partly because they’re being asked to take on so much responsibility now. they’re both kind of longing for the days when they were just allowed to be Toa of small koros on an island that they loved. they don’t talk about that. but sometimes they see it reflected in each other’s eyes when Kopaka is looking off at the faraway snow of the mountains or Tahu finally has a few minutes to sit down with his Matoran and just know that his people are safe.

both also so protective together... if anyone ever messes with their brothers they’re going to be so ticked off, just fuming with anger... I say brothers cause Gali can handle herself and they both know it hahaha

Tahu just. he just really really knows that Kopaka has his back. no matter how complicated things get. Kopaka’s support is unchanging. Kopaka is one of the only constants in his life and he really needs that. at the same time, this could eventually cause some problems for Kopaka if he began to internalize that role and began to feel that he would be letting Tahu down by expressing his own fears or doubts or needs. like I said, he’s very duty-bound - he’ll need to learn not to put his duty and his role before his own health

90 notes · View notes

knight-queen · 4 years ago

Text

Lunatic Parade Azusa Mukami– (Chapter 4)

[O1] [O2] [O3] [O4] [Final] [Care for Vampire]

Place: Glimmer Main Street, Front of Wagon

Yui: (We bought a Spa ticket from the flower boy…)

(I didn’t know that it has such a refreshing feeling…)

*Azusa appeared*

Yui: It will be best if we get another chance, right Azusa kun?

Azusa: Yes...it’s because...we have been enjoying the Spa...since the Carnival… It was fun…

Yui: (My body is feeling nice and warm. I am so glad since we have been able to spend time together like this in a while…)

(But, right now...there’s something that we must do…)

Hey, Azusa kun. So, ...what can be the treasure that is unique…?

Azusa: I also tried to investigate many sources...but...I wasn’t able to find the...exact answer…

Just...in the reply to the letter that I sent to Ruki...there was something interesting about this case…

Yui: Huh? Really?

I am not sure...whether there is such a treasure or not, but…

There’s a valuable thing...which is buried near the Castle town...he said…

Yui: A valuable thing...Oh...I wonder if it’s an unique treasure…

Azusa: I don’t know...what is it…

However, today is the finale of Parade...looks like...you don’t have much time…

More than that, unless you can find a treasure, you have to rely on that valuable thing. ((The one Ruki told them))

Yui: You are right...What ‘bout asking the flower boy one more time? Maybe he knows something about that?

Monologue—

A treasure which is one and unique —

We went to the flower boy for the confirmation of our thoughts, he said that there’s certainly a treasure like that.

He weaved his neck when he realized that he doesn’t even know if it is true or not.

Looked like, to know the truth, we had to enter the underground corridor.

… ...At this point...we got no other choice but to choose the direct path.

We took our step for the underground corridor.

End of Monologue

Place: Underground Corridor

Azusa: Be careful...Eve...there’s a waterway here or you will fall down…

Yui: Thank you…

(Haa...Don’t continue walking in cramped passages...Does people really live here…?)

Underground Dweller A: Hm? You guys are…?

Yui: Ah, I am sorry. There is one thing that we want to ask you.

Azusa: We ... come here to confirm and investigate...if there’s any unique treasure out here...but…

But...do you know something about that treasure?

Underground Corridor’s People A: Hm….

This circuit runs like a mesh through the castle town and the underground was roughly excavated.

But I haven’t heard anything about finding a treasure…

Yui: Is that so…

Underground Corridor’s People A: But I can say something if it’s just a legendary thing.

At the end of the circuit, there is a place where a giant gem is placed on.

It’s a common fact here that the gem must not be moved, you know?

If you are interested to give it a try then turn on the left and then you will find the gem along a straight line.

Yui: Thank you so much!

(A gem that shouldn’t be moved, huh…?)

Azusa: Eve...let's give it a try...I think that place is quite suspicious…

Yui: Yes...but...maybe we won’t be able to progress…

Azusa: Why’s that…?

Yui: Underground ...we can’t touch anything here he says…and there are also many other prohibitions about it.

If we break these rules, then we’ll be cursed and punished. For this…

(If we face this situation then…)

Azusa: Curse, punishment or whatever...I will undertake...all of it…

Yui: But...you will…!!

Azusa: Nothing is...painful than...if you don’t exist anymore…

I can’t be scared in the first place...if I am not sure about this myth…

Right now...we don’t have...any other clue...We should accept this opportunity…

Yui: …! *Blushing*

Thank you , Azusa kun…

*After a while*

Yui: This is the gem that we can’t touch…!?

(It’s unexpectedly big...perhaps it should be called a rock rather than a gem…)

(Can we be able to move that…)

Azusa: Looks like...there are residents...over there, so, let's get a good understanding...from them…

Yui: Let’s do it…

*After a while*

Yui: Um...excuse me.

Underground Corridor‘s People B: Miss and sir? What’s up, coming to place…

Azusa: We...want to move that giant gem. Can we attempt...to try that out?

Underground Corridor’s People B: Ofcourse. Moreover, I request you to do that!

Azusa: Eh!? But, I heard that we shouldn’t touch that…

Underground Corridor Residents B: There’s not a single one who still believes that myth.

Because this stupid thing is here, we residents who live here are not able to make a detoure.

It’s just like a wish or a fulfillment.

(He meant, “Everything working out as desired”, but it sounds a little confusing to me.”)

Yui: (Is that okay if we do it…)

Azusa: Okay then...without delaying anymore...I will try to do it...

Yui: Try your best, Azusa kun

*After a while*

Azusa: Almost there...right…haaah *Tries to move that gem*

Haah...gh...haa *tries more harder*

Yui: (Even though Azusa is trying to push with full power, but...it’s not enough…)

(Alright, I will join him too)

*Yui runs for helping Azusa*

*Azusa is closer to Yui now*

Yui: —I will help you too, Azusa kun!

Azusa: Gh, Thank-you...gh…

Yui: Let’s...do it..gh——

Azusa: Kh...ghh…!!

Yui: —haah..hah…

(What should we do? Looks like the gem won’t move even if we push forever…)

Selection

Suggest to have a break

Challenge this one more time + (Correct)

Yui: Azusa, what about changing our way of pushing?

Azusa: Huh?...such as...pushing it from the right side…?

Yui: Maybe we should apply some tips on how to apply energy…?

Azusa: If it’s the case, then let’s try to... push from below…?

Yui: Yes, that should do it...I think.?

Azusa: Um...lower your waist a little….

Yui: (Azusa kun is close…!) *Blushing*

Like that…?

Azusa: Exactly…

Now...let’s do it...Eve...heeeh! *Tries to push it*

Yui: —Gh! Gh…!! *Tries to push it*

*Failed*

Yui: Haah...haah…

(No sign of movement...not at all...What should we exactly do?)

*Sound of footsteps*

Yui: (...! I can hear the footsteps...quite a few people…)

Azusa: Eve...watch out...You can’t leave from my side…

Yui: Y-yes…!

Monologue —

—While doing so, a number of people gathered around me and Azusa. I was confused because I didn’t know what to do.

Azusa kun also seemed to bite his lips making an intricate facial expression.

End of Monologue

*Screen back*

Azusa: ...Hah….

???: Uuh...excuse me, please let it to pass~

Yui: (Eh? That voice…!)

Flower Boy: You two…! Sorry for being late. I have brought some helpers with me!

Yui: (Eh? It’s the boy from the flower…!) ((Shop))

Azusa: All the people here...they all come here...for helping us?

Flower Boy: Yeah, they all gathered here to support you…

Yui: Thank you…!

Azusa: I am really...thankful...to everyone.

Flower Boy: We also bring a rope. By using this, let’s bind the gem to pull it altogether!

Yui: (— Um...this should do it.)

(A huge bunch of people are gathered like this...as if it’s a tug of war.)

Azusa: Okay then...when I will give you a signal...we all will start pulling at once…

Let’s start...one — two and…!

*They all start pulling*

Yui: ( It’s moving…)

Look, Azusa! The gem is starting to move…!

Azusa: Haah, hah….That’s good…

Let’s go for it once more…!

Yui: (Just a little…!)

*Sound*

—Kh? Hot water began to spout…!?

*Screaming sound of people*

Flower Boy: E-Everyone! Calm down! First, find shelter—!

Yui: (Water’s gradually expanding! If it’s like this, then we will…!)

Azusa: Yui san...this way…!

*Azusa hugs Yui*

Yui: Azusa kun…!?!

Azusa: Hold on to me tightly…! Don’t leave me, not even once…!

Yui: Yes!

*Screen black*

Azusa: Don’t worry, I will...protect you…!

*They get out*

Place: ディアマンテの泉 / Diamante Fountain

Yui: ...nh…

Azusa: ...Ghh!...this...place...is…

Flower Boy: Ah, you two! I am so glad! Finally you come to your senses!

Yui: (This is Diamante fountain? We were dragged into the stream water in the underground corridor...I thought)

What about others who were inside…!?

Flower Boy: Don’t be fussed about that...they all are safe.

Yui: Haah! I am glad.

Flower Boy: The hot spring was settled down and it really caught others attention.

Yui: I see. By the way...where have you been until now…?

Flower Boy: I came back from my work and was waiting here until you get back your conscious.

Yui: You didn’t have to...Thank you so much!

Flower Boy: Above all, if I had to say then pleasure was flowing into everyone.

Yui: Pleasure…?

Flower Boy: Yeah, the truth is that...the gem was placed there for stopping hot spring water!

Azusa: What about the treasure…?

Yui: Gem was used for that hot spring...right?

Azusa: Haah!?

Yui: What happened? Isn’t that good because everyone is so pleased about that…

Azusa: No...it’s no good…

Yui: Eh?

Azusa: Because of this, we can’t face Earl…

We won’t be able to...get back your heart…

Yui: Azusa kun...

Flower Boy: ...ah, I remembered something important! Azusa SAN, please come here.

Azusa: Hm?...Eve, wait a little…

Flower Boy: You know...that…*Whispering*

Azusa: Huh?...Is that so…?

Yui: (What are they talking about?)

(I am a little interested…)

Azusa: That’s it…!

Yui: (What’s so sudden…? His expression was gloomy but now it’s…!?)

*Azusa comes back*

Yui: Azusa kun?

*Azusa gets closer*

Azusa: Let’s go...Yui san!

Yui: (He holds my hand so suddenly…!?) *face red*

*Starts walking*

Yui: W-wait! Where are we going?

Azusa: To the castle…!

Yui: Ca-castle!?

But the unique treasure...—

(No, let’s be silent...I am sure that Azusa has something in his mind.)

(I have faith in Azusa)

*Continues to walk*

Place: Bernstein Castle, Front Gate

Azusa: Somehow...I am feeling like I am back…

Yui: Oh, I remembered that this was the place where we visited very first.

(Azusa kun remembered pretty well…)

Yui: I hope Earl Walter will come out…

Azusa: It’s okay...of course he will come…

Yui: (What if he doesn’t....)

Azusa: You are looking so...depressed...Are you okay…?

Yui: Yes…

Azusa: I am not kidding...be lively…

Azusa: Nh...

Yui: …!?...

Azusa: Count on me...Yui san…

Yui: Th-thank you, Azusa kun…

(He is really reliable...If it’s the Azusa of now, then everything's alright…)

*After a while*

Azusa: … … …

Earl!...I have brought the unique treasure! ((Loudly))

Earl Walter: Ho? What’s that could be?

Yui: (He isn’t showing himself, I can only hear his voice—!? From where…?)

Azusa: To me...the one and only alternative treasure is…

the spirit of Yui san…!

Yui: ?! Me?

Earl Walter: Fufu! Don’t make me laugh!

Which part of her spirit is compared to the treasure which is only one and unique?

Azusa: You really don’t know…

Because of her, I was rescued from any obstacle…

Thanks to her, that...I was able to change myself like this…

Yui: Azusa kun…!?

Azusa: I didn’t have any confidence...anxiety….and anxiety….for that, I used to hate myself…

But...now...I have become strong. I care about myself…

It was only possible, because she...supported me, she believed me!

Her kindness changed me…

That’s why I say...her spirit is the only treasure which is irreplaceable…

Yui: Wait, Azusa kun...like that, to me, the unique treasure is only you.

Azusa: Eh…?

Yui: Just like Azusa’s feelings about me...I also...feel the same thing about Azusa...

Azusa: Yui san...!

Yui: I...I received a lot of help from Azusa kun.

So many times, even right now, he protected me.

To me, the only irreplaceable treasure is Azusa kun…

Azusa: Haah...Yui san...Thank you…

Earl Walter: … … …

It’s enough. I am fed up with hearing this boring love affair...

Yui: (Eh? Love affair?)

Earl Walter: But I come to understand everything. It’s a relationship that respects each other’s efforts, right?

I have been watching everything.

You were able to overcome this difficulty.

Certainly, she is that kind of human just like you described.

Therefore, I shall give back the heart.

Yui: Eh!?

Azusa: Hah? Is that true…!?

Earl Walter: Yeah, of course your heart is already enough to be called a treasure….

I was testing you by stealing that…

You passed pretty well. Especially right now, it was extraordinary.

Yui: We p-passed, you say…

(Using my heart for such a game like this—)

*Heart beating sound*

Yui: ...ugh…

*Screen turns white*

Yui: (In my body...I am feeling a strange feeling but…)

Azusa: Yui san...are you okay?

Earl Walter: Place your hand on the left side of the chest. By doing so, you will understand everything.

Yui: Eh!?

(It’s true...my heart is beating…)

Azusa: Which means...we can live together from now…?

Yui: Looks like so!

Earl Walter: Fufu!~To become delighted like this, it’s not good.

Just like you will continue walking on the right path from now, if you lose that path at the same time, this treasure will become mine…

*Earl Walter disappeared*

Yui: —!?

Azusa: Earl...disappeared?

Yui: Somehow, we had to swing until the very end.

Azusa: But...it’s fine, I don’t care…

*Azusa hugs Yui*

Azusa: Because from now on, I can freely live together with you…

It’s already enough to make me happy….

Yui: I also feel the same…!? Azusa kun...from now, I want to live together with you….

Azusa: Yui san…

*Fades to CG*

Azusa: Thank you...it’s a promise..nnh...*kiss*

—The END of Chapter O 4

#Azusa Mukami #old translation #lunatic parade azusa mukami chapter 4 #azusa #Diabolik lovers lunatic parade #diabolik lovers translations #lunatic parade #Translation Date: 9/21/2020

22 notes · View notes

tigerkirby215 · 4 years ago

Text

5e Rakan, the Charmer build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Happy day after Valentine's Day friends. I wrote this build in August, and a lot has happened to my little bird twink during that time. Along with a damn good new skin (and you know: new season) he’s become one of the more sought out supports in pro play. Also I got him to Mastery 5 at time of writing (December 13th, 2020.) Who knows: I might update this little blurb to say I got him to a higher mastery.

Sadly I don’t have a Xayah to duo queue with. But I’m always ready to be the support that you need~ 💓

GOALS

Am I not magnificent? - Rakan’s title is literally “the charmer.” Of course we’re gonna need some charms.

War is in the dance - With an ability called “Battle Dance” we’ll need to be quick on our feat, dashing around our foes and popping them up with a Grand Entrance.

Nothing's fun without risk - While he may not be the best enchanter Rakan has a ton of heals and shields for both himself and his allies.

RACE

Rakan is half bird, but he doesn’t do a lot of flying which leaves Aarakocra out of the picture. He’s also incredibly chatty (holy shit have you seen how many voice lines Xayah and Rakan have?) so Kenku is definitely not an option. So when in Rome as a furry look no further than a Shifter.

All Shifters have Darkvision and their Shifting ability to gain temporary hitpoints, but everything else is determined by their subrace: to be ever quick and ever charming go for a Swiftstride. As a Swiftstride Shifter your Dexterity increases by 2 and your Charisma increases by 1. You are Graceful and have proficiency with the Acrobatics skill, and your Shifting feature lets you get down with The Quickness, moving 10 feet faster and being able to move 10 feet as a reaction if an enemy ends their turn within 5 feet of you, all while not provoking oppertunity attacks!

ABILITY SCORES

15; WISDOM - Rakan is all about the spirit of the wild and the subtle magic of nature. Wait Nature and Arcana are Intelligence skills? Uhhhhh...

14; INTELLIGENCE - Rakan certainly doesn’t show that he’s smart but Nature and Arcana are Intelligence skills. That, and this is a requirement for a very particular class.

13; CHARISMA - A charmer of course needs to be charming. (Feel free to swap this with CON if you want more health but worse RP.)

12; DEXTERITY - Even if Rakan is normally shirtless this is enough for good ol’ Medium Armor thanks to our Racial stat increases.

10; CONSTITUTION - Even though Rakan plays up close and personal he’s certainly not a tank.

8; STRENGTH - You wouldn’t risk ruffling your feathers by doing heavy lifting.

BACKGROUND

While Rakan didn’t start out a rebel like Xayah he gladly joined her cause, and while a background like Entertainer might make more sense for him he’s without a doubt a Freedom Fighter now... unfortunately there’s no Freedom Fighter background so Faction Agent is the next best thing.

You get proficiency with any Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma ability and naturally we’ll be going for Performance. You also get proficiency in Insight but we’re actually going to be replacing it with Arcana for knowledge of the magic of the wild. Additionally you can learn two languages of your choice: unfortunately Aarakocra isn’t an option but Auran (or rather Primordial) is. And to learn the ancient language of Ionia I’d recommend Sylvan.

As a vastayan rebel you can gain access to a Safe Haven for you and your allies. By using secret signs and passwords you can identify other rebels who can bring you to a safe house, give you a free place to stay, or assist you in finding information. They won’t risk their lives for you but as long as you remember the password they’ll be willing to help. You... did remember the password, right?

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - CLERIC 1

Starting off as a Cleric, the king of supports. As a Cleric you get proficiency in two skills from the Cleric list: this is actually where we’ll be grabbing Insight proficiency from along with Medicine to keep Xayah safe.

Clerics get to choose their subclass at level 1 and there are obviously a lot of options to go for: Peace to bond with Xayah, War to better your battle dance, Nature or Arcana to further your connection to natural magic... Bet you wouldn’t expect the choice to be the Order Domain from Guildmasters’ Guide to Ravnica! (Also reprinted in Tasha’s Cauldron.) (I’ll go over why Order whenever we get abilities important to the build.)

For a start Order Clerics get proficiency in Heavy Armor as well as either Intimidation or Persuasion; Xayah’s got the scary part down so go for Persuasion, since someone’s gotta be the smooth talker! You also get Voice of Authority, letting you set up for an ally with a Grand Entrance. If you cast a spell with a spell slot and target an ally they can use their reaction to make one weapon attack against a creature of your choice. You have to be able to see the enemy you want them to target, and if you target multiple allies with a spell only one of them can use their reaction to attack. But setting up for friends to cut through foes is what you do best!

Speaking of spells and set-up Clerics get access to Spellcasting! You can learn three cantrips at level 1: for a Gleaming Quill grab Sacred Flame which does Radiant damage (not Fire damage!) to a foe. If you’re getting surrounded however Word of Radiance will let you shine on your foes for more Radiant damage! And to be a good support and help your allies out of combat Guidance lets you add a d4 to ability checks.

You can also prepare a number of spells equal to your Wisdom modifier plus your Cleric level. As an Order Domain Cleric you have Heroism and Command as part of your Domain Spells, meaning that you don’t have to prepare to be the hero and force your enemies in line. For a close range heal look no further than Cure Wounds. For a shield grab Shield of Faith to make it harder for enemies to kill your allies. And to set up for your friends grab Bless, making it easier for them to hit and survive.

LEVEL 2 - CLERIC 2

Second level Clerics can Channel Divinity once per short or long rest, invoking the power of the gods to help them. All Clerics can Turn Undead, forcing undead within 30 feet to make a Wisdom save or run away from you. However Order Clerics can charm their foes with Order’s Demand. You can charm (yes charm!) anyone of your choice within 30 feet until the end of your next turn, or until they take damage. Additionally you can force them to drop whatever they’re holding so they don’t shoot Xayah!

This is one of the many abilities I wanted out of Order Domain. A big AoE charm that also stops enemies from hitting you and your friends is right up Rakan’s alley.

You can also prepare another spell and while Rakan doesn’t have a ranged heal in-game Healing Word is just too good to pass up on as an Order Cleric. Bonus action let your friend whack an enemy!

LEVEL 3 - WIZARD 1

Didn’t take Rakan as the bookish type, did you? Well, he isn’t, but we need some abilities from Wizard that we can’t get elsewhere except Clockwork Sorcerer which makes even less sense for Rakan. Regardless Wizards also get Spellcasting. You learn 3 cantrips from the Wizard list: for a more direct autoattack grab Firebolt because I like having a variety of damaging cantrips, to add some pizzazz to your dance Prestidigitation will let you add a bunch of funky visual effects as you please, and for some coordination in Team Chat grab Message! "Did you notice the sky?" "It's lovely." "Not as beautiful as you."

You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Wizard level plus your Intelligence modifier, but when you multiclass into Wizard you can learn 4 spells to put in your spellbook. You can only prepare spells in your spellbook is the long-and-short of the class. Anyways: to bedazzle your foes grab Color Spray and blind them with your beauty. For a little owl companion take Find Familiar. To run when you need to Expeditious Retreat will help. And finally to detect the magic of the world take... Detect Magic...

Wizards also have Arcane Recovery, letting them recover a spell slots of a combined level equal to half their Wizard level rounded down. In short every spell slot counts the same number of “points” as the spell’s level, and you can recover a number of spell points equal to half your Wizard level. So a third level Wizard can either recover a 2nd level spell or two 1st level spells. Oh and you can’t recover spell slots past 5th level.

LEVEL 4 - WIZARD 2

Second level Wizards can choose their Arcane Tradition, and to protect yourself with Fey Feathers the School of Abjuration is here for you. Along with being an Abjuration Savant (letting you learn Abjuration spells in half the time for half the cost) you have an Arcane Ward to shield you: when you cast a leveled Abjuration spell you can also create a magical ward on yourself that lasts until you finish a long rest. The ward has a hit point maximum equal to twice your Wizard level plus your Intelligence modifier. (So currently 6 HP.)

Whenever you take damage, the ward takes the damage instead. If the damage reduces the ward to 0 hit points, you take any remaining damage. Whenever you cast an abjuration spell of 1st level or higher, the ward regains a number of hit points equal to twice the level of the spell.

You also learn 2 more spells so how about some Abjuration spells? Shield is a reaction Abjuration spell to protect you from melee attacks, while Absorb Elements is a reaction Abjuration spell to protect you from magic. AR and MR!

(Artist unknown. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - WIZARD 3

3rd level Wizards can learn second level spells but I’d actually suggest learning Alarm back at 1st level. Why Alarm? It’s an Abjuration spell you can cast as a Ritual, so you can just cast it continuously to refresh your Arcane Ward even without preparing the spell. For your other spell Mirror Image is a quick and easy way to keep the baddies from whacking you.

LEVEL 6 - WIZARD 4

4th level Wizards get an Ability Score Improvement but I’m actually going to suggest the Observant feat to increase your uneven Wisdom score. Every Support’s gotta pay attention to their wards!

You can also learn another two spells along with a cantrip: take Dancing Lights to set up a stage! As for spells you’re the loud and proud sort so to make a Grand Entrance grab Knock to make way for your party! Meanwhile if you want to keep yourself and your allies safe from ranged harm Warding Wind will do just that and more, but it will also make it harder for Xayah to hit. "What the hell were you thinking?" "Back there?" "Yes." "I wasn't. I never think. Ugh... thinking."

LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 5

5th level Wizards can learn third level spells so it’s time to grab our first mass charm: Hypnotic Pattern, which isn’t an Enchantment spell but in fact an Illusion spell (which will be important later.) If you want to get down with The Quickness however there’s nothing better than some good old-fashioned Haste.

LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 6

6th level Abjuration Wizards can finally protect their party and their girlfriend thanks to Projected Ward, letting you use your reaction to reduce the damage an ally takes with your Arcane Ward. “Thank you honey!”

You can also learn two more spells from the Wizard spell list. Xayah need to call someone? Help her with Sending. Want to go full AP for the traditional D&D Grand Entrance? Fireball.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 9 - CLERIC 3

We’ve spent enough time down in Nerdsville so how about some more Cleric levels? Third level Clerics can prepare second level spells like Aid to boost up your teammates with a Knight’s Vow. Speaking of Knight’s Vow Warding Bond will let you bond with Xayah so you take some damage for her.

Additionally as an Order Domain Cleric you have Hold Person and Zone of Truth innately prepared. Keep enemies at bay and let them know the truth!

LEVEL 10 - CLERIC 4

4th level Clerics get an Ability Score Improvement and I’m going to suggest further increasing your Wisdom, as it’ll help us more with our Cleric abilities which will be important later.

You also learn another cantrip such as Mending to keep your outfit in check. Additionally you can prepare two new spells with your increased Wisdom: Lesser Restoration can give you or Xayah some Tenacity when needed, but I’d suggest holding off on the other slot.

LEVEL 11 - CLERIC 5

5th level Clerics who use Turn Undead now Destroy Undead of CR 1/2 or lower. It’s unlikely that you’ll be fighting CR 1/2 enemies at level 11 but hey: it’s still useful!

What’s more useful however is that you can now prepare third level spells! As an Order Cleric you have Mass Healing Word for Redemption, or Slow to... slow the enemy. Maybe you grabbed Righteous Glory? Who knows.

Regardless the important thing is your charms so grab Fast Friends to charm single targets and Incite Greed to get a whole crowd to follow your Fey Feathers!

You may be asking why we’re grabbing Enchantment Spells of all the spells that Clerics get a third level. Well for one it’s because you’re The Charmer, but more importantly...

LEVEL 12 - CLERIC 6

At 6th level you become an Embodiment of the Law as an Order Domain Cleric. The law of dance that is! If you cast an Enchantment spell of first level or higher you can choose to make that spell a bonus action instead, and can do it a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier. You regain these fast charms after a long rest.

This was the main reason I went into Order Domain. Being able to quickly charm foes is textbook for Rakan, which made this subclass ideal for this build.

You can also prepare another spell at this level: Dispel Magic with Mikael's Crucible in case of any strong debuffs. Also more Abjuration spells for your shield!

(Artwork by Yusuh on DeviantArt. You have no idea how hard it is to find solo artwork for these two.)

LEVEL 13 - WIZARD 7

7th level Wizards can learn 4th level spells like Confusion; something that fills my allies whenever I take Rakan into the jungle. For your other spell I’d actually suggest hopping back to third level for Counterspell to keep your allies safe with more Abjuration. Trust me it’ll be important later.

LEVEL 14 - WIZARD 8

At 8th level you get an Ability Score Improvement and despite being a Wizard we’ve kinda been ignoring Intelligence: let’s fix that with a +2 so our Ward can be stronger as can our Wizard spells.

You can also learn two new spells: more Charms? Charm Monster, so even the mighty Volibear can’t resist you. Other than that there are tons of great Wizard spells but I’m never going to say no to Dimension Door.

LEVEL 15 - WIZARD 9

9th level Wizards can cast 5th level spells like Dominate Person for charms on-par with mind control! (Because it is Mind Control.) For more combative 5th level spells Synaptic Status will let you bedazzle everyone in a 20 foot radius sphere, making it harder to hit as they’re stunned by your beauty. Rakan can have some AP; as a treat.

LEVEL 16 - WIZARD 10

10th level Abjuration Wizards get Improved Abjuration, letting them add their proficiency bonus to any ability check to Dispel Magic (such as with Dispel Magic or Counterspell.) If you wish you can also have Bless active on yourself for a d4 + 5 to any counterspell check. When you consider that the DC is equal to 10 plus the spell’s level and you have up to a +9 to the check it’s more than likely that you can be a Guardian against any dangerous spells!

You also get another cantrip at this level: do you already have too many cantrips? Yeah probably, but to get more props for your dance take Minor Illusion.

As for your two new Wizard spells Hold Monster is like Hold Person, but it works on Baron! And how about something to keep Zoe in her dimension? Banishment is a 4th level spell that works like a super CC that knocks an enemy out of the fight completely. You can’t attack them while they’re on another plane, but if they’re not native to the plane and spend a full minute Banished they go back to their original plane.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 17 - WIZARD 11

11th Wizards can prepare 6th level spells. Want to keep Xayah safe from a falling temple and shadow ninjas? Globe of Invulnerability blocks all spells of one level lower than you used to cast the spell. In general. The globe surrounds you but you can dive in to protect Xayah. But what if you just want to dance? Look no further than Otto's Irresistible Dance! It’s a spell that forces everyone to dance; that’s all you need to know! But seriously read the description of your spells.

LEVEL 18 - WIZARD 12

12th level Wizards get another Ability Score Improvement: seeing as we are going deep down the Wizard path it only makes sense to get a bit more Intelligence.

You can also learn 2 more spells: Contingency will let you cast a spell in case of emergency. Choose a spell of 5th level or lower that can target yourself and a trigger for the spell: when the trigger happens the spell activates. Backup plans are more of Xayah’s thing, but something like “Banish myself if I’m about to die because Xayah would kill herself if I died” is a good plan.

There are tons of other good Wizard spells; so many that I can’t choose any that would particularly fit Rakan or the build as a whole. You have a limited number of prepared spells anyways so take something you think will be useful.

LEVEL 19 - WIZARD 13

13th level Wizards can prepare 7th level spells: want to do a conjoined recall? Teleport will let you and up to 8 willing creates teleport to a location, such as your fountain. There’s a table of places you can end up which I suggest looking at for the full details of the spell, because it’s a rather overwhelming spell to explain without copy-pasting the description. But because I further suffer with what spells to give you in a high leveled Wizard build how about a fancy light show? Crown of Stars lets seven stars orbit your head which you can shoot out at enemies or light up the night!

LEVEL 20 - WIZARD 14

Our capstone is the 14th level of Abjuration Wizard for some much needed MR. Spell Resistance lets you resist all damage coming from spells and have advantage on all saving throws against spells!

Speaking of spells you can learn your final two but... pick for yourself this time! Xayah will love you despite all your faults, and I’m sure that you can make a choice for yourself. This is my way of saying I’m sick of picking Wizard spells.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

You will see my dance - You are the master of keeping your friends safe with charms to keep fights from happening and both shields and heals to keep your allies from being hurt.

Look at me now! - You are incredibly elusive: 18 AC (Scale Mail + Shield) you can bump up with the Shield spell, a 32 HP ward to protect you and your allies, and even Shifting for Temp HP and more dodging.

You put us in a cage? I put you in the ground - And of course as a caster with full caster levels you are more than capable of putting down the hurt, especially due to the added efficiency of being able to cast two spells in a turn (well a leveled spell and a cantrip) thanks to Embodiment of the Law.

CONS

I don't have to remember the plan if you do - You are essentially mixing two spellcasters who want you to use extremely dedicated spell lists. Abjuration spells to make Abjuration Wizard work and Enchantment Spells to make Order Cleric work. Sure you don’t only need to cast Enchantment and Abjuration spells but there also aren’t that many Abjuration spells to power up your ward.

I can't die looking this good! - The vast majority of your levels being in Wizard combined with a 0 Constitution score results in a health bar that’s easily under 100. You may have advantage on all saving throws but Power Word Kill has no save.

Woo! You animals are dumb! - The other problem with mixing two full casters together is that you can’t get the best of both worlds. You aren’t getting 9th level spells in general (even if you get the slots for ‘em) and both your Wisdom and your Intelligence aren’t maxed out. Sure if you aren’t using Standard Array that isn’t an issue but you’re bound to drop something.

But if you were perfect why would you need Xayah? She completes you, and you complete her. Fight along side her and together you’ll be unstoppable. There’s nothing you can’t defeat with the power of love... But a plan would also probably be good. "I think Xayah told me to improvise. At least, that's the only part of the plan I remember."

(Artwork by Riot Games)

#dnd #dnd 5e #dnd build #dnd guide #valentine's day #dnd wizard #dnd cleric #League of Legends #League of Legends Rakan #xayah and rakan #love

26 notes · View notes

hopevalley · 4 years ago

Text

Season 8, Episode 10: Old Love, New Love, Is This True Love

All right, so...like I said, work has picked up and my eyes feel like old marbles from staring at numbers (the woes of working in accounting I guess) so I want to get this written up and tossed into the nether before I lose steam and motivation to do it. The interesting thing about these little write-ups is that as the week goes on they just get harder and harder to write...

I do apologize in advance to those who like the long-winded write-ups. I’m just not up to it at the moment. Still feeling kind of bleh from the episode.

Let’s go back to an old format, shall we?

The Good

We might as well start out with the things about this episode that I enjoyed!

Gossip Hour with the Men was one of the best openers they’ve had on the show in a while. It was genuinely funny without being meanspirited. Nobody looked like the bad guy. Everyone just calmly talked about it alike it was a normal thing to maybe call off the wedding. Bill calling out Carson for giving marriage advice was pretty funny, Mike was a delight. I don’t know what to say. I’d watch a whole episode of The Boys just hanging around spending time together.

Florence’s worry that she’s ugly was...not a terrible idea for a storyline, but the actress is too good-looking to pretend to be ugly (I saw her in this pretty yellow dress on Instagram a couple years ago and she was smashing)? Also, it’s not like Ned is a handsomely aged gentleman (like Henry lol) so it makes even less sense for the characters. I think they should have gone with Florence feeling she’s “plain” and that dressing up Super Nice makes her feel uncomfortable because she just doesn’t feel like Herself and worries maybe it’s projecting a false sense of Who She Is or something? I guess overall I still liked that an attempt was made to add some depth to Florence and her difficulties in choosing a dress/hairstyle, so...it goes here.

Ned asking Henry to be his best man was nice, too. I can forgive the shoddy pacing and weird placement of this request (like I do with almost everything in the show) but only because the scene was just...so incredibly wholesome.

I like how Henry just casually is like, “Well maybe today’s just not the day.” I think it eased Ned’s mind just a little that he CAN back out if he really wants to.

I think it’s worth thinking about the fact that Ned and Henry would have always worked very closely, since the mercantile would have been a company store before the mine closed down... I like Henry and Ned as pals.

I’m glad the “investment” thing with Jesse and Clara’s savings was brought up in a way that...makes sense. And also, glad it wasn’t forgotten.

I really liked Molly and Florence in this episode. I’m a little sad Florence married Ned because I AM SORRY BUT I WANTED TO KEEP SHIPPING MOLLY AND FLORENCE TOGETHER UGHGHGHH

But their relationship is so good and maYBE Elizabeth will learn something from them.

Hey Elizabeth...you see that?

YOU SEE THAT?

Just saying.

And then later...

“You are the sister I never had, the mother I forever wanted, the friend I have always needed. From the depths of those dark and terrifying coal mines you’ve walked beside me, picking me up whenever I’ve stumbled along the way.”

AAAAAAAAA IT GOT ME.

I’m...really liking Fiona and Mike’s relationship, whatever it is. I kind of think they’re not headed toward anything romantic. Everyone thinks Mike is really into Fiona but at the end of the episode we realize he likes talking to her about business; it’s almost like they have this shared passion for numbers/ideas and he likes infodumping to her (and vice-versa).

I think they’re going to end up being “just friends” and Fiona will end up paired off with the man Elizabeth doesn’t choose. They hinted at Nathan briefly in this episode (with Allie’s hair), but who knows? I’m over trying to speculate on where the triangle is going at this point, but I actually like Fiona’s relationship with Mike so much that I’ll be disappointed if she fades into the background with Nathan or Lucas. Mike deserves more screentime.

Ned and Florence sharing their fIRST KISS. My husband got emotional over this. And I admit, it was starting to get to me, too. I can’t NOT root for them.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: I WOULD DIE FOR THE CANFIELDS.

The wedding was nice. I liked that Bill and Joseph officiated it together; it gives Joseph a li’l trial run of pastoring and finally Bill gets to use some of that power of his to officiate a wedding.

“Please, if you’d like” is such a Bill way to say that they may kiss LOL.

Also, I have to admit that I did enjoy Lucas calling Nathan out about Allie. She wouldn’t be caught in the middle if he’d leave Elizabeth alone AND HE IS RIGHT LMAO.

The last good thing: Elizabeth telling Nathan she doesn’t blame him for Jack’s death. Nice. Good. Thank you. He probably needed to hear that.

...THE BAD

Carson and Faith. UGH. UGHHHHHHHHHH. BREAK UP ALREADY I HATE YOU BOTH.

I appreciated that Carson had the ring ages ago, and I did like his conversation with Minnie—or more accurately, her advice to him. I felt like she was nudging him toward, “Remember why you became a surgeon in the first place.” If he became a surgeon to help people, then there’s no reason he can’t help people where he is. Sure, he might not be doing state of the art procedures but with Faith working alongside him, he can afford time to learn new things and go to doctor conventions or even take a specialized class now and then. No other doctor could get away for very long but he has that chance!

And he’ll arguably be doing more good in the middle of nowhere than in the city. All the doctors want to live in the city. Nobody wants to barely get paid for their time in the countryside.

We had a whole episode that made it clear that Faith and Carson don’t make a lot of money and do a lot of charity work. They also work for trade goods (mostly food). So it’s like...a pretty big difference in lifestyle?

Half the reason I can’t get invested in these characters is because I really can’t stand Paul Greene. He just...annoys me on every single level imaginable. But he’s a decent actor and I can’t help but feel that his character was a massive waste of space for the past few seasons through no fault of the man himself. Imagine introducing a character like Carson and then leaving him to rot before you try to make him interesting with a romance plot that nobody asked for.

Yes, some people really like Faith and Carson, but as a whole I think the fandom didn’t buy into them as a ship due to the lack of chemistry.

It really is a shame. This episode didn’t do a thing to endear me to either character. Please, Carson. I am begging you to leave town.

This one particular line of dialogue almost enraged me.

WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE CAN SEE THAT FOR OURSELVES. WHY DID THEY HAVE ROSEMARY SAY THIS LIKE IT’S AN EPISODE OF A CHILD’S TV SHOW?

Elizabeth.........

How could Katie have...looked up to her? She was never in her class? That was? Never part of anything? It was just something they threw in here to force Elizabeth to make 1% more sense in the role she’s in but IT STILL DOESN’T WORK.

I felt like I was back in Season 5 again with Lori and Elizabeth putting their nose in everyone’s business except it’s just Elizabeth!! The whole plot, which was boring and contrived anyway, should have gone to Molly, since she’s Florence’s best friend and another woman from town that Katie would have known as a child.

AND ALSO, MOLLY WOULD HAVE KNOWN KATIE’S MOTHER AND WOULD REMEMBER THE GRIEF THAT NED STRUGGLED WITH.

I know they wanted to make Elizabeth give advice so that she’d Realize that she needs to, I don’t know, make better choices or something, but it was too on the nose for me and I hated it.

GinithePooh on Reddit made a good comparison to Elizabeth in this episode by saying she reminded them of Clippy from Microsoft Word, always popping up and offering to help when nobody really needs or wants advice.

To honor their incredible idea, I opened Photoshop and created this gem, which I will also be posting separately so that people can reblog it if they wish to.

I also don’t think I need to say also filed under The Bad is the fact that Elizabeth didn’t even apologize for being awful to Rosemary and then gave her unsolicited advice to other people for two days straight. I can’t believe they wrote that?

All I can say is that her apology to Rosemary, when it comes, better be good.

And I didn’t like this either:

I wish it had been followed up by literally anything: Nathan saying he’s sorry he didn’t tell her sooner or something to make the hand-holding actually be a little more innocent.

As it is, it just seems so deliberate?

Maybe the next episode starts off right in this scene and we’ll get that? If so, this might actually end up being fine. I just don’t think it is if it doesn’t get a little more direct attention.

& THE UGLY

I debated on putting anything in here, because I’m not ready to talk about my feelings on this matter, at least not fully. But I’ve been pretty quiet all season so far, and...eh, why not just mention things in advance? What will it hurt?

Let me preface this section by saying I’m biased and I doubt hardly anyone on this site will agree with me, so feel free to just ignore this part if that’s the case.

There are two things that I really didn’t like in this episode.

I hate the slanting toward Bill/Molly.

I like Molly just fine but I don’t like her with Bill. I’m biased as all getout and also worried about the future/potential Season 9 with regards to this. I don’t want to see it. Like at all. Why, you ask? You should know why if you follow me. I’m super transparent.

It’s because I like AJ AND I WANT HER BACK LOL.

John Tinker rewatched the series so we know he wouldn’t have missed that hanging plot thread—especially since he didn’t forget any of the other things that were brought up this season! So why didn’t she appear this season? The love triangle absolutely needed to be a focus or it would have never ended, so that’s part of it, but I’m also pretty sure Josie Bissett wasn’t interested in doing any filming last year during Covid. My only “proof” is that Wedding March 6 wasn’t filmed last year even though it was scheduled to be filmed, but it makes sense. Last year was chaos.

THAT SAID, Jack Wagner posted on his Instagram the other day that they are actually filming Wedding March 6 now, so... I guess AJ’s re-appearance in Season 9 wouldn’t come as too much of a surprise if they wanted to write it.

You’d think I’d be hyped about that, and I kind of am? But it doesn’t come without its share of worries, too. We just had the worst love triangle in the history of love triangles and I really don’t want another one, especially if it makes any of the characters in question look stupid or mean.

I fully admit a well-written love triangle could be a LOT of fun for them* (low stakes because they’re not front and center characters), but I saw how Nathan was written so far this season and I really, REALLY do not want to see that happen to Molly, Bill, or AJ.

Anyway, not a fan of the Molly/Bill stuff. No chemistry. I don’t want it.

*I would totally write a fanfic like this lmao.

And finally...the part that everyone will hate me for:

I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ABIGAIL COME BACK. And I specifically do not want her to come back ‘cause I do not wanna see Henry/Abigail happen.

I fully recognize that a lot of you like it and ship the heck out of it, and that’s...good. I’m glad you enjoy it. I loathe it, though, and I worry that all these hints (more like...mentions) are leaning toward...something. Like, either they’re:

1) Sending Abigail off/tying up that loose end with Henry (since nothing was ever clarified either way), or

2) Warming up the audience to receive Abigail back on the show.

I’m pretty into the idea of one-sided Henry/Abigail. Hindsight is 20/20, regrets, that’s all some juicy stuff to give a character like Henry. Some things can’t ever be made right again. He had too direct of a connection to the death of her husband and son for me to ever want to see them together. Forgiveness? Yes. A careful but meaningful friendship? Yes. Romantic relationship? Uh...no thanks.

I liked the Abigail mentions at first because I felt like...the character still mattered (as she should) but I’m at a point where I feel like they’re trying really hard to steer the fandom’s view a certain way and not knowing where it’s going is extremely unsettling to me.

I’ll probably talk more about the things that bother me when the season ends, because I’m hoping to have a better idea of where things are going to be headed, but for now just...know that I feel very apprehensive.

And keep in mind that I primarily watch this show for Bill these days, since all my previous faves (AJ, Frank, the old Abigail, Dottie) have exited, stage left. I also always really liked seeing Henry. So as you can imagine, seeing plotlines I hate for the only two characters I’m invested in? Is making me consider dropping the series next year.

My husband told me I should hate-watch it, but I don’t know if my heart can take it. I’ve been following this series for so long...it just...kind of hurts to feel let down like this?

But sometimes an ongoing series ends up going where you...didn’t want it to, and it becomes something that’s no longer right for you. I hope that doesn’t happen, but last night’s episode makes me feel like...it might be happening for real this time.

I guess if that holds true it’ll be back to fanfiction for me. Will that novelization I planned ages ago end up getting written? Will I write the best love triangle fanfic known to man? WHO KNOWS.

For now, we’ll all have to wait and see! Two more episodes left. I’m really curious to see how they resolve some of the open plots right now. :>

#when calls the heart #long post #character studies and information #analysis and meta discussion

7 notes · View notes

stereksecretsanta · 4 years ago

Text

Merry Christmas, sivan325!

For @sivan325 <3

Read On AO3

*****

Right Where You Left Me

Pulling up outside the rundown cabin, Stiles can’t help but feel like they’ve stepped into a horror movie. The paint is peeled to all hell, the two front windows are boarded up, and the remains of an old porch swing are rotting beside a front door that’s barely holding onto its hinges. Stiles can feel Scott’s hesitation as they climb out of the car. “It’s no big deal,” Scott says, his nerves bleeding into his tone. It’s always a surprise that even after everything they’ve faced, Scott can still be nervous about something so mundane. “He’ll help us. He has to.”

“Okay then,” Stiles smirks. “Go knock.” “Fine. I will.” Scott bravados, but still he pauses. “No big deal, huh?”

“You’re the one that should be shitting your pants right now, after everything that happened. In fact, you should probably stay in the car…”

Stiles goes to make some quippy comeback, despite them both knowing Scott speaks the truth, but before he can the front door of the cabin bursts open. Derek barrels out, a shotgun in his hand and aimed straight at the two of them. “No,” Derek shouts from the porch. “Derek!” Scott calls back. “No! Take whatever bullshit you've gotten yourselves into this time and fuck off.”

“Derek, please. You know we wouldn't be here if we didn't have any other options.” Scott always tries to handle things diplomatically, with calm and reason, but Stiles isn’t sure it’s going to work here. Still, he shrinks back and lets his best friend handle it.

Derek’s glare could cut glass. “That's tragic, because I'm not an option either.”

“You don’t understand, there’s a—”

Derek cocks the gun, keeping it directly aimed at Scott’s chest. “I. Don't. Care. You have to the count of three to get back in your fucking car. One.”

“Derek!”

“Two!”

“They'll kill us all if you don't help!”

“Three!”

“Derek!” Stiles shouts, jumping in front of Scott. It’s the first time he’s spoken this entire time, not wanting to ruin whatever rapport Scott might’ve been able to create with Derek. It’s become clear that isn’t going to happen.

For the first time, Derek's eyes turn to Stiles. They've been carefully avoiding him this entire time, a fact lost on neither of them. Stiles’ silence and Derek’s avoidance speaks volumes to each other.

“Put the gun down and hear us out. Please, Der,” he adds, doing that thing with his eyes that Derek never could resist. It's not fair. It's not nice. It's downright underhanded, maybe even cruel, but Stiles needs Derek to listen. His hold on the gun falters, but only for a moment. Barely noticeable. A heartbeat passes, and the gun fires. Stiles jumps up into Scott's arms, just as Scott’s body flinches backward, propelling them both onto the ground. The dirt at their feet is disturbed from where the bullet landed.

“Five minutes,” Derek grunts, going inside.

Scott and Stiles scramble up and follow him inside the cabin without question. This is the break they were praying for.

If the outside was bad, the inside is a disaster. The walls are covered in mold and grime, and the floorboards creek under their weight with such intensity that Stiles thinks they’re going to fall through any second. There’s a couch, but it’s ripped and stained and nothing any human being should be sitting on. They follow Derek through the mess and the dreariness into the kitchen, where only a table and a couple chairs sit.

Stiles wonders why Derek chooses to live like this. He's gruff, unwashed, and surrounded by squalor. He feels a twinge of guilt, knowing it's his fault. Everything is his fault. The course of their lives all comes down to him and his selfish mistakes.

Derek tosses the gun onto the kitchen table. It lands in a pile of old dishes and newspapers. “Four minutes.”

Scott explains the situation. Derek uses a knife to cut open a bottle of beer and chugs the whole thing, some strange attempt at a power move, going for another immediately after. It's clearly not his first drink of the day.

“So, you don't need me, you just need the numbers.”

“We need everyone. Especially you. You know how to fight, and you know what we're up against. We can't win this fight without you.”

“Then I guess you're going to lose the fight.”

“Derek,” Scott pleads.

But Derek just sneers. “Get the fuck out of my house, Scott.”

Scott looks at Stiles, at a loss. Stiles nods silently toward the door, signalling to “let him handle this.” Scott quietly shuffles out in defeat, leaving behind a feeling of dread. They’d both hoped Scott would be able to convince Derek, and now they’re fate is up to Stiles, literally the worst person to be talking to Derek one-on-one.

Once he's gone, Stiles silently walks around the kitchen, running his hand along the many, many empty beer bottles sitting on the countertop.

“Derek, I—”

“Stiles. Don't.”

“I hate seeing you like this.”

“Hate seeing the repercussions of your actions? Tough.”

“That's not fair.”

“No, what's not fair is you coming here. Scott, I understand, he’ll do anything to protect his pack, but you? After what you did? You're a bastard.”

“I am. I absolutely am. But Derek, we need your help.”

“Why don't you go cry about it in the car with Scott? I'm not helping. Not him, and definitely not you.”

Stiles yanks the only other chair from the table and sits. “Pity isn't a good color on you.”

“Fuck off.”

“This isn't you. Sitting in a secluded cabin getting drunk every day isn't Derek Hale.”

“Don't pretend you ever gave a shit about ‘Derek Hale.’”

“Derek,” Stiles places his hand over Derek's, expecting him to recoil from his touch, but he doesn't. “I loved you.”

“Not enough to stay faithful.”

Now he pulls his hand away.

“I still love you, Derek. I've never stopped.”

“How much did you love me when you were fucking him?” Derek growls. “How much did you love me then, Stiles?”

They never talked about it. Not really. It all happened so fast, and before he knew it Derek was gone. He fled Beacon Hills without a word, leaving Stiles to stew in his shame alone. He deserved it, but it was still hell.

“I... I can't defend what I did. It was horrible. But Derek I'm so, so sorry.”

“Stiles. Get out of my house.”

“I—”

Derek heaves the bottle in his hand across the room. It shatters against the far wall, beer spraying everywhere. “GET THE FUCK OUT! Before I Make you.”

Stiles jumps instinctively, his heart pounding with adrenaline. Eyes wide, tears threatening to spill, he stands up. This is what he expected, this anger and lashing is what he knew would happen, but it still takes him off guard. Derek’s anger… it scares him, and it hurts. He walks right out of the cabin, leaving Derek and everything still left between them...

In the car, Scott sighs as Stiles climbs in. “I guess I just hoped he'd be reasonable.”

Stiles drums his fingers against the window, thinking. “When have you ever known Derek to be reasonable?”

“It didn't help that you came along.”

“I know.”

“I told you it'd only make things harder.”

“I know.”

“After what you did, I would've thrown more than just one bottle-”

“Scott. I get it. I'm the bad guy in this scenario. I know. I fucked everything up. I guess I just thought if we saw each other again... that maybe he'd talk to me. Maybe he'd...”

“Understand? I love you man, but you cheated on him. I don't think he can understand that.”

Stiles doesn't know what else to say because Scott's right. Nothing he says can ever fix what he broke, no amount of explaining will undo that pain. Their relationship is dead, and any small sliver of hope he may have been holding onto has to stop. It won’t help anyone, especially not tonight.

“But maybe I can still convince him to help with the fight,” Stiles finishes his thought process out loud.

“I think we should just call it. We're wasting time here now.”

Stiles, however, is already opening the car door. “I'm going to give it one last shot.”

“I don't think that's a good ide-” the door slamming behind him cuts Scott off.

He was only outside for a few minutes, but Derek managed to inhale three more beers in that time. He absolutely reeks of it when Stiles comes back in. The sad broken-hearted drunk and the adulterous ex. It sounds like a fucking telenovela.

“You're going to help us.”

“What the fuck, Stiles?”

“You're going to help us because under the self-pity, the anger, and the alcohol you're still Derek. The Derek we all knew. You'll help us because if you don't, people you still care about will die. Everyone in Beacon Hills will die, and you won't let that happen, not without a hell of a fight first.”

“You don't know me anymore, and you don't get to come in here and tell me what to fucking do.”

Stiles leans down, getting right in Derek's face. The alcohol on his breath burns his eyes. “No, I guess I don't, but you do. And you'll do the right thing because that's who you are.”

That's when Derek does something unexpected. He throws Stiles backward, slamming into the edge of the table, then collapsing on the floor. His side aches from the collision.

“If you don't leave now, I'm Going To Kill You.” Derek’s standing now. There's a fury in his eyes that's unlike anything he’s seen in him before. It’s determined. He means what he’s saying.

Stiles swallows, struggling to stand. “Then do it.”

Derek looks confused. Stiles is confused too; he doesn't know why he just said that. It’s not like he wants to get beat up, but it feels right.

“If hurting me will help you feel better, then do it. I deserve it.”

“Okay.”

What?

The punch sends him directly onto the tabletop, papers and plates clattering to the floor under him. The next one splits his lip open. The one after that makes him see blue spots. The next is to his gut and he rolls off the table, gasping for breath.

The kick to his ribs was a little unnecessary.

Spitting blood onto the floor, he looks up at Derek, who looks more like Derek than he has all night. All rolling anger and focused eyes.

But seeing Stiles on the floor, seeing him bloody, bruised, and clearly in pain... it takes the spark away. Derek's muscles relax and he falls against the table for support. The moment has passed.

Stiles smiles. His teeth are bloody. “That... that all you got?”

“Don't fucking test me.”

“D-do you... feel any... better?”

“No. Because when I see your face, all I see is you with him.”

Stiles cheated. He and Derek were going strong, but Stiles... he ruined that. It’s not even an original story: He met a guy at a bar and took him home. Fucked him. Which is bad enough, but Derek walked in on it happening. Caught in the act, right at the finish line, all he could do as he came was watch the light leave Derek's eyes.

It was self-sabotage. He knew that all along. He had something good, something real, so he had to ruin it. Because he doesn't know how to be happy.

It all sounds very clinical, very therapist and clean cut. Feeling it in the moment... that was so much worse. Knowing he fucked up so deeply, and knowing why, but being unable to express it.

He still doesn't know how to tell Derek all of that now.

Instead, he falls into another cliché. “He didn't mean anything.”

“You fucked him.” He doesn’t know how to tell Derek all of that, but he has to try.

“I was sabotaging myself.”

“You. Fucked. Him.”

“I don't know how to be happy.”

“You looked pretty happy that night.”

“I was cumming, of course I looked...” he trails off as Derek's nostrils flare. Clearly that was the wrong thing to say. Of course it was. God, he’s an idiot.

"I'm sorry."

"You're only saying that because you want my help. You and Scott both. You've had ages to come and talk to me about everything, but you chose this moment. You're a calculating, manipulative bitch, Stiles, and I hate you."

"No you don't," he replies. "And if I wanted to manipulate you into helping, I'd take a different approach."

Before Derek can answer, Stiles moves toward him, stopping when they're only a couple feet apart. This is a risky gambit but one he’s willing to try, and only partly to get Derek to join the fight. Mostly… mostly he just wants to. "I'd probably try and seduce you.”

He lowers to his knees, fully expecting Derek to push him away, but he doesn't. He watches Stiles the entire time he’s undoing his pants and tugging out his cock.

It’s a testament to how much Derek is still attracted to Stiles by how fast he gets hard. He licks the underside of Derek’s cock, tasting him. All of him. It’s like coming home after a long trip, back to what’s familiar and good. So good. A little dirty from living alone in a cabin for so long, but good.

Derek’s legs shake as Stiles wraps his lips around his shaft and works his cock like a champ. He knows every line of Derek’s body, every soft and sensitive spot, and he uses that knowledge now to make his body tremble. It’s almost hard to believe that just minutes ago this man was beating the tar out of him, and now he’s breathing heavy and moaning deep from his throat. It makes Stiles feel powerful. Alive. It doesn’t take long for Derek to finish. He shoots deep into Stiles’s mouth, pumping excesses of hot cum. It’s clearly been a while since he’s been touched.

Stiles swallows, licking his lips after like a good little slut. Derek always loved that.

Derek lets out a long breath. “I’m still not helping you.”

“I know.”

Derek raises an eyebrow.

“This isn’t about that,” Stiles says. “This was for us.”

* * * * *

Once in the car, Scott immediately grills him over the cuts and bruises, which are really starting to throb now. At least the bleeding around his mouth has stopped.

“It’s fine,” Stiles assures.

“He beat you up!”

“I deserved worse.”

“You’re a fucking mess, man.”

Stiles licks his lips, the salty taste of Derek’s cum still lingering there, and smirks knowingly to himself. “Yeah, but you love me.”

Scott starts to reverse away from the cabin, their mission officially a failure. However, that’s when Derek appears at the door, flagging them down with a wave. He doesn’t look happy about it, but he’s doing it, and that’s what matters. Scott and Stiles look at each other for a moment in disbelief. “What’d you say to make him come around?”

“What can I say, I have a magic mouth.” Maybe he’s not the most subtle, but sue him.

They climb out of the car, but Stiles pauses when his phone buzzes. He tells Scott to go ahead, that he’ll catch up, and reads the message on his screen. It’s from BtmGuy420, asking when they can meet up. He looks at the cabin, where Scott and Derek are talking. Later, he texts back, and goes to join them.

#sivan325 #stereksanta20 #*fic20 #*gifts20

19 notes · View notes

auroras-blend · 4 years ago

Text

Do It For Her

Summary: Pastor John Marks and Emilie Marks reflect on what to do after the custody case is decided. Takes place between chapter 6 & 7.

TW: Past rape mention, miscarriage, infertility, crisis of faith

“Don’t lose faith,” her husband said softly, “This isn’t over.”

Emilie was numb, feeling emptier than when she realized she couldn't carry a child in her womb. Tears softly rolled down her face, her eyes turning glossy as they gazed out of the windshield and at her home. Just a few hours ago, Marilyn was here. “They took my baby,” she finally whispered.

“Mr. Holmes is already filing an appeal. It must be a mix-up, we’ll figure this out,” John insisted, “Emilie…”

She felt her husband’s thumb wipe away her tears as he pulled her face to look at him, and when she met his own brown eyes, she broke down. “She called me mommy,” she sobbed as she buried his face into his neck while he took her closer into his embrace, “She called me mommy, John.”

Her body heaved with sobs, “They took our little girl and are giving her to...to...that monster!”

She tried, she had tried so hard to speak no evil against other people despite the sins they’ve committed. But this man...the father...he truly was a monster and they were giving a child to him. Emilie had felt a surge of overprotectiveness the first night Marilyn came to stay with them and it only amplified when the nature of her father was revealed. When she heard of his crimes, she knew at that point she would kill for her daughter. Her soul be damned! For Marilyn.

“She’s in the system. She’s not with him yet. There's still time,” John said with religious fervor, trying to convince himself that things would be okay as much as he was trying to convince his wife, “We’ll get her back.”

Her shoulders shook as grief wet her husband’s shirt, and she felt John’s own pain as the first of his tears met the back of her neck. “It’s not over,” he whispered again.

God willing. Please watch over Marilyn.

***

Emilie was busy cleaning the house for the sixteenth time as they waited for Mr. Holmes's arrival to discuss their options. The house smelled strongly of lemons as she scrubbed each surface roughly. She didn’t particularly like cleaning, but there was nothing else to do except being alone with her thoughts and she did not want to do that. John, knowing she needed this time, was reading his Bible, or at least it looked like he was. Her heart ached knowing that he felt like he needed to be the strong one, that he felt he had to hide himself away as he cried in grief over losing their daughter. Every night, she heard Marilyn call out to her, saying “Mommy!” again and again.

The loss felt as strong as it had when she got pregnant for the first and only time, before losing her child in the first trimester. She hated that she believed that for a moment she was a mother, that she had a child. The pain was unbearable and she swore never to go through this again. No more trying after this. I can’t…

The door rang, startling her but she played the role of a good wife and wiped her hands on her apron before opening the door. She went through the polite motions of removing Mr. Holmes's coat and putting it on the rack before leading him into the kitchen for refreshments. John, for once in his life, was all business. It was alarming to see him get down to brass tacks rather than first ask how someone was doing. Well, he did, but it was too quick. Mr. Holmes seemed in no way offended though, bless him.

“I’d just like to say how sorry I am that we did not get the outcome we wanted,” he apologized his face flushing red.

“There’s no need to apologize. You did everything you could, but please, help us now to get Marilyn back,” he said, his tone being the one he used to comfort their congregants.

Emilie observed the portly man who had begun to sweat in his brown tweed suit while loosening his red bow-tie. She immediately knew how the conversation would go when he swallowed the water nervously and wiped the sweat off of his brow with his handkerchief. Dear Lord… “Before we resume, I have to tell you a little bit more about Marilyn’s father…”

What he revealed to her next made her sick and went pale in shock. Marilyn’s father was...oh it was so much worse than she thought and it made it all the harder for her to come to terms with the fact Marilyn was going to live with him. She was right in her assessment. He’s a monster. She tried to focus on her worry, as much as she tried to avoid it earlier, instead of the wave of guilt when she realized exactly how that precious little girl was conceived.

Patience was very much a social pariah, and Emilie had done her best to make her feel welcome and included as part of her job as the pastor's wife, but she never really made the effort to include her in her social circles. Patience never seemed interested, and Emilie eventually gave up and respected her space.“It’s just how she is…” but now she knew that Patience was made that way by...that man. She had her own petty and snobbish assumptions of Patience’s past, believing that she was made of loose character and partnered with someone of equal moral fiber, which resulted in an out-of-wedlock pregnancy and single-motherhood. She had condemned her for being so negligent towards Marilyn, because “she chose to have and raise the baby”, but no. Patience didn’t choose it at all. She had no choice.

Her heart broke for the woman, and finally understood the bitterness she had in her but for once was in awe of her overwhelming bravery. Emilie could barely imagine such a petite woman taking down the mob. The mob! She prayed for forgiveness, for Patience’s brave soul, and for her daughter. There was no excuse for how Patience treated Marilyn, but it certainly did explain things and she couldn't cast her down any longer. “Why was this not brought up in court? How is it even possible that he received custody?” John asked angrily, not directed towards Mr. Holmes but to the corrupt system that Leonardo Borghese had utilized to obtain his daughter.

“It’s very complicated...family court typically has a preference for placing the child with living relatives. Her father wanted her and has the means to provide for her,” Mr. Holmes explained.

“He’s a rapist!” Emilie said, venom seeping in the last word, “He didn’t get a parking ticket. He got convicted of felony rape and they’re giving a child, a little girl, to him.”

“It’s a miscarriage of justice,” Mr. Holmes said simply.

“Did you know about this?”

“I-I didn’t,” Mr. Holmes stuttered, “Well...I didn't know who he was, but…”

“We have to get her back. We have to save her from him, John,” Emilie wept and squeezed tightly when John reached for her hand.

If he hurts her...no. No, no, no. Please Lord, spare her. Don’t let him hurt her.

“We will,” he nodded at her before turning to Mr. Holmes, “What’s our next step?”

Mr. Holmes sighed and looked away briefly, trying to find the strength from the cross by their window to say what he had to say next. “Right now, it pains me to say this, but right now it’s in your best interest to...to drop the matter entirely.”

It was like an explosion went off because she could feel her world shake. “What?” John asked, grinding his teeth.

“Leo-Leonardo Borghese is a powerful man. A dangerous man. I’m sure that he still...he still has his hands in matters in the States while he’s in Italy. It’d be...be dangerous to try and cross him in this matter,” he stuttered.

“I don’t understand. You want us to give up?” she asked, unsure if she heard that right.

He wants us to stop fighting for our child? Against a rapist! “For your safety and well-being, yes,” Mr. Holmes said frankly.

“What about Marilyn’s well-being?!” Emilie demanded.

His silence was telling. Leave her behind. It’s not worth fighting. “No. The Lord tells us to maintain justice and do what is right,” John said firmly, “We won’t allow ourselves to abandon a child who is in danger.”

“Patience Winslow didn’t take him down just to have her daughter fall into his hands,” Emilie said without a tremor in her voice, “She won. We can too.”

“We all knew Patience. Did it look like she won?”

That question silenced her. Patience put Leonardo Borghese away, but she went away looking like she was the one who was defeated. Leonardo was a prisoner for five years, but Patience was a prisoner in her own mind and trauma for the rest of her life. And she died in that prison. “All the more reason we can’t leave Marilyn,” Emilie’s eyes beaded with tears.

We have to do it for her. She needs us.

“I apologize, I truly sincerely do, but I-I have a family. I-I won't go against Leonardo Borghese,” he said shakily, “You’re good people. Good Christians, so please take my advice and listen when I tell you to drop it. Please, for all of our lives.”

Emilie shut her eyes and she felt John breathe slowly next to her, his hot breath fanning onto her cheek. “We don’t want to put you in a situation where you don’t feel safe, so you are no longer obligated to continue this case, but…” John said kindly.

Emilie opened her eyes and looked at him, listening to him speak. “We’ll take your advice into account but we’ll still discuss if we wish to proceed.”

“I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors,” Mr. Holmes said warmly, “And I pray you find the resolution you deserve, but time is of the essence. Marilyn will be traveling to Italy in only a few days' time. Whatever you decide to do, do it quickly.”

The husband and wife nodded before showing Mr. Holmes out. The minute the door clicked, John spoke. “I don’t want to put you in danger, Emilie…”

Listen. Listen to him first. “It’s my job to protect you,” he said, placing his firm guiding hand on her shoulder and lifted her chin so her eyes met his.

“Who will protect her?” she asked.

If he says, God, so help me…Emilie’s maternal drive kicked in, blasphemously believing that no one could protect her child better than her. Not even God. She resolved to repent later. “You teach us to be brave, that God tells us to defend the weak. Is it not hypocritical if we stand aside and do nothing?”

Perhaps her tone was too challenging because John frowned but he must’ve not seen it as too much of an egregious act enough to correct her. “We stood aside and listened to people look down on Patience, speak evilly about her without knowing what she went through. She told no one, she didn’t look for glory or sympathy. John, we owe it to her to protect her daughter. We owe it to Marilyn to give her a good life.”

Her tone was pleading and even if it wasn't in Pastor Marks's moral fiber to agree, he’d do it anyway when he saw the desperation on his wife’s face. He moved his hands from her shoulders to delicately pick up her hands, holding them warmly.

“Then let’s get to work.”

#once upon a dream #emilie marks #pastor marks #me just churning out one-shots now that i've finished writing the childhood arc?#more likely than you think #my heart breaks for the marks

8 notes · View notes

not-majestic-bluenicorn · 4 years ago

Text

Puzzle || Ink Prints JohnKun Chapter 5

Fandom(s): NCT (127 & WayV)

AU: Soulmates AU

Genre: Romance, Fluff

Relationship: Johnny x Kun

Language: English

Status: 5/5

Chapter WC: 3,884 words

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, Bruises (someone falls of a bike), Divorce.

Chapter Warnings: None apply

Summary:

“Let’s take a picture of our extra tattoo and send it at the same time,” Johnny suggested.

Kun’s heart began beating fast again. He had been so giddy about Johnny also having an extra mark that he had forgotten they might be different. Johnny knew this too, because otherwise he wouldn’t have been asking for proof. Kun nodded nonetheless. They were soulmates, weren’t things supposed to work out for them in the end?

Author’s note: Help me decide on which Ink Prints series to work next by voting on this twitter poll!

AO3

<< Previous Chapter || Ink Prints Masterlist

Tagged: @queen-of-himbos

“Oh,” Kun felt the thundering in his chest diminish.

It was like a bubble popping right in front of him, letting relief flood out from his chest. Johnny also had an extra mark. He had been worrying nonstop about it since finding out they were soulmates, but now he felt calmness fill him. He didn’t even know what to say.

“Oh? Kun?” Johnny’s nervous voice resonated through the speaker. “Are you mad? Are you disappointed?”

“Hyung, I have a mark too,” Kun let out a laugh, “and extra one, I mean.”

“Wait- Really?!” Johnny yelled, and Kun had to pull the cell phone away. “Hold on, are you serious right now?”

“Yeah!” Kun laughed again, giddy. “I’ve been worrying about it too, I was actually going to tell you before leaving, but I couldn’t bring myself to…”

“That’s okay, I couldn’t either,” Johnny sighed. “I have an idea, though.”

“I’m all ears,” Kun nodded enthusiastically.

“Let’s take a picture of our extra tattoo and send it at the same time,” Johnny suggested.

He struggled to take a picture of his back, right between his shoulder blades, as his second tattoo liked to rest there. Kun ended up having to ask one of his parents for help, but eventually he had the picture in his camera roll and was ready to send it. He waited until Johnny was ready.

“Wait, wait-” Kun pulled the phone away and put Johnny on speaker before turning on his own camera.“Turn on your camera.”

Johnny was wearing a hoodie, and the hood was fully tightened around his face, making him look funny. Kun chuckled as he waved hello. Johnny waved back at him before taking a deep breath. They were both nervous, and it was quite easy to tell. After agreeing to do it at the count of three, they counted together and then pressed send.

The picture that greeted Kun was not the American kestrel he had been expecting. Instead, there was a gray bunny. Dread filled his stomach as he looked up. Johnny looked just as shocked as he felt. Kun smiled and tried to shake it off. They didn’t have the same mark, but that didn’t have to mean anything. Still, it felt… disappointing.

“B-But-” Johnny stuttered, but the words died in his throat.

“Hey, it’s okay, right?” Kun tried to remain optimistic, but he couldn’t hide the strangeness he felt in his chest.

“Kun, I-” Johnny scrambled for the words, but he didn’t know what to say, and frankly, neither did Kun.

“It’s okay,” Kun assured him. “It’s quite late, maybe we should sleep on this and talk about it tomorrow?”

He felt all of the exhaustion from before wash over him again. Suddenly, all he wanted was to go sleep and ignore whatever ugly feelings were pooling in his chest. He disliked seeing Johnny so affected and thrown off, especially when he was always so cool and in control of himself.

“Are you sure?” Johnny asked, looking back and forth between the pictures they had just sent.

“Positive,” Kun did his best to smile, “I think we both need it.”

They wished each other a good night before hanging up. Kun didn’t know how exactly he felt, but it wasn’t as positive as he would have liked. He didn’t want to think about it though, so instead he forced himself to fall asleep, convinced that they would solve it the next day.

Johnny was absentmindedly staring at this phone when he accidentally dropped it on his face. He yelped, bringing his hands up to rub at his poor nose. He had woken up at some point in the early morning and had abandoned all hopes for sleep. His dreams had been plagued by bunnies and birds and bunnies turning into birds. He was not feeling okay.

He grabbed his phone again and looked at the picture Kun had taken. After some research, he had figured out it was an American kestrel. It was so pretty and colorful and small. They both had small creatures as their other soulmates… Johnny sighed. He still couldn’t believe they didn’t have a shared tattoo. He had always known it could be a possibility, but he had hoped it wouldn’t be.

Soulmate relationships, and relationships in general, were always more complicated than simply sharing or not the same tattoos. Of course, it was easy if you only had one tattoo, and your soulmate also had only one, if you could manage to find them to begin with. But when there was more than one mark…

What if he found his other soulmate and they didn’t like Kun? What if Kun found his other soulmate and they didn’t like him? Johnny didn’t want to be forced into choosing, and he could never even imagine doing that to Kun either. But he was getting ahead of himself, what if that didn’t happen at all?

He sighed and put his phone away. His mental state was not in the right place to be talking to Kun at the moment. He needed to clear his mind and figure out where his feelings stood. Johnny decided to go and visit his friends. If anything could help him, was most definitely the opinion of those three crackheads. It would probably be wise to call them first, though.

“Hello Johnny,” Seungcheol picked up Jeonghan’s cellphone.

“Oh, Cheol?” Johnny smiled, closing the door to his dorm behind him. “Is Jeonghan asleep still?”

“You know him,” Seungcheol scoffed, “but also, you’re calling unbearably early, what’s up?”

“Would you mind housing a poor, lost soul?” Johnny left the dorms and walked down the campus to the bus stop.

“Did they already evict you?” Seungcheol sounded genuinely surprised, which just threw Johnny off.

“What do you mean already?!” He yelled, lowering his voice when he noticed someone glaring at him. “You three are so mean to me…”

“Just come already, I’ll leave the door unlocked,” Seungcheol laughed before hanging up.

Johnny made his way to their apartment while listening to music. He was listening to a few Chinese artists that Kun had recommended to him, but doing so made him miss his voice. It felt a bit silly, though, because he had just talked to him the previous night. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to call him, not yet.

Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jisoo lived in an apartment close to campus. It was cozy and not very big, since the three of them were usually very clingy and liked to spend time with each other. Johnny kind of admired them for it, because their personalities could be quite contrasting, and he wasn’t certain how they had built their relationship around their situation. Maybe that was the reason he was there, they could give him advice.

Jisoo opened the door for him and greeted him with a handshake. He immediately offered him something to drink as they headed to their living room, catching up on what they had done during recess. Seungcheol joined them later, with a sleepy Jeonghan following right after him and complaining that they had woken him up.

“Okay, spill,” Jisoo pointed after a while, “why are you here?”

“Can’t I just visit my friends for pleasure?” Johnny pouted.

“The only thing you’ve done in the past month or so is have virtual dates with Kun,” Jeonghan pointed out, “so no, I don’t think you’re here for pleasure.”

“Did something happen with Kun?” Seungcheol asked. He was leaning back, one arm propped behind Jisoo.

“Why are the three of you so perceptive…” Johnny sighed. “I showed him my extra mark. He also had one…”

“Isn’t that good, then? I don’t get it.” Seungcheol frowned.

“It’s not the same mark,” Jeonghan immediately guessed. “That’s why our Johnnyboy is looking so gloomy right now.”

“It really isn’t,” Johnny grumbled, “I’m pretty sure that in the wild, his mark could potentially eat mine.”

The other three couldn’t help but break into a laugh, which only made Johnny pout harder. He was there to receive some attention and love, not to be laughed at because of his unfortunate situation.

“Yours is a bunny, right?” Jisoo asked, leaning forward. “What is his?”

“A sparrowhawk,” Johnny sighed. “How did the three of you make it work? Jeonghan and Jisoo don’t have marks for each other, right?”

“We don’t,” Jeonghan agreed “but marks aren’t a limitation for love, Johnny.”

“They are guides,” Jisoo agreed. “I mean, Seungcheol really, really disliked us in the beginning.”

“You were- are, brats, truly,” Seungcheol grumbled. “But it’s true, my marks for them indicate I was meant to fall in love with them, but they didn’t have that type of attachment, and yet… here we are.”

“Jeonghan is as much of a soulmate to me as is Seungcheol,” Jisoo smiled. “I’m certain you can make it work too, even though it’s a bigger number of people.”

“Just trust what you have Johnny,” Jeonghan nodded. “I know you’ll be able to work things out if it comes down to it.”

“I feel like you have more faith in me than I do…” Johnny sighed, leaning back into the sofa.

A week passed without either of them attempting to call the other. They still messaged everyday, mostly in the mornings and evenings, but both could tell it wasn’t the same. It bothered Kun a lot. His mind felt confused and fuzzy, and the safety he had felt during his second week in Korea had already vanished. Of course, he wasn’t the only one to notice things were off.

“Kun, can I come in?” His dad knocked softly on the door.

“Of course,” he nodded, putting his cellphone with the bunny picture away. “What’s wrong?” He asked once the door opened.

“That’s what I would like to ask you,” his dad smiled, sitting at the border of his bed. “Is everything alright with your soulmate?”

Kun sighed. He had known that at some point his parents would come to ask, because Johnny hadn’t said hi to them in a while, and they really liked him. He didn’t blame them, though, even he could tell that he was acting different due to the worry and stress the situation was putting on him. If there was anyone who could provide him with answers though, were his parents.

“Johnny and I have extra soulmate marks, but they’re different…” Kun explained, looking at this lap. “I have a bird, he has a bunny.”

“That sounds cute,” his dad smiled. “Must be a nice person.”

“You’re missing the point here…” Kun grumbled, twiddling his fingers.

“Am I?” His dad tilted his head. “I don’t think so, truly. You see, wouldn’t it be great if both of Johnny’s soulmates turn out to be great people?”

“And what about me?” Kun muttered.

“Oh, but you’re not worried about yourself, I know you well,” his dad chuckled.

“I don’t like this conversation, where’s papa? He would side with me.” Kun groaned, crossing his arms, making his dad laugh.

“He’s out at work, but you see, we’re a good example of why you shouldn’t be worried!” His dad crawled over the bed until he was sitting next to him, wrapping his arms around Kun. “You remember your dad and I aren’t soulmates, right?”

“I do, but you don’t really talk about it…” Kun muttered. “You never found your soulmate, and his already passed away.”

“That’s right,” his dad nodded. “I met his soulmate, actually, she was a beautiful woman. Your dad loved us both very much. She passed away long before we adopted you.”

“I didn’t know you had met her,” Kun’s eyes widened. “How…”

“The thing is, Kun, that even though we’re destined to love some people, it doesn’t mean we can’t choose who to love,” his dad shrugged. “Destiny is not an excuse. If you meet your other soulmate, you’ll love them as much as you love Johnny, and so will Johnny if he meets his other soulmate…”

“But?” Kun leaned forward.

“But love makes things work out,” his dad smiled. “Neither of you might ever meet your other mark. And if you do, it might even be that they are soulmates to each other, and you could go on a lot of double dates.”

“So you think it will work out,” he let out a deep exhale.

“I know it will,” his dad nodded, pushing Kun’s hair back. “But you two need to stop punishing each other first, your hearts crave for each other, and self-inflicted pain is not the way to go.”

“I have one more question though,” Kun muttered. “If you met your soulmate now… What would you do?”

“I would introduce them to your father, and we would work from there,” he patted Kun’s hands. “Not everything in life has to be a dramatic challenge, although you’re barely about to reach your twenties so I guess it makes sense you feel like this.”

“Are you calling me dramatic?” Kun frowned, pushing his dad softly.

“I am not not calling you dramatic,” his dad smiled, pushing him back. “Just don’t overthink it, alright? I’m gonna go prepare supper.”

Kun grabbed his phone again and stared at it as his finger hovered over the call button. He had put a picture of his Clydesdale tattoo as Johnny’s picture, and looking at it made his heart swell. He didn’t get to press the button, though, because Johnny called him first, causing him to yelp out of surprise. He answered and put him on speaker.

“Johnny?” He asked, unsure.

“Hey,” Johnny sounded a bit breathless. “So I’ve decided I don’t like this thing where we don’t talk.”

“Are you okay?” Kun asked, a bit concerned about how he sounded.

“Huh?” Johnny took a deep breath. “Oh yeah, I’m just running, to uh… You know, clear the mind?”

“Is it working?” Kun chuckled. It felt nice to talk to him again, it helped him breathe easier.

“Not really, no,” Johnny laughed too. “But Kun, I really didn’t like not talking to you this past week.”

“I didn’t like it either,” Kun sighed. “I was actually just talking to my dad about it.”

“What did he say?” Johnny slowed down, and decided to walk instead, trying to not breathe so hard into the microphone.

“In summary, that we should stop being so dramatic,” he grumbled, but Johnny let out a breathy laugh.

“I think he’s right, actually,” Johnny cleared his throat. “We don’t know if we’ll meet our other marks, why don’t we enjoy what we have now?”

“I agree,” Kun nodded. “I missed talking to you.”

“I did too,” Johnny’s smile could be felt through his voice, and it made Kun smile as well.

“I might also be falling in love with you,” Kun confessed. It made his heart skip a beat, but it was nothing compared to the reaction it produced on Johnny.

“You can’t do this to me Kun,” Johnny groaned. “You’re usually more reserved about your affection, what is this?”

“I will hang up on you,” Kun threatened, not liking that Johnny was teasing him.

“I’m sorry, I’ll shut up,” Johnny added quickly. “I’m also falling in love with you, quite quickly I should add.”

“Idiot,” Kun scoffed, but he was smiling.

“I’ll take it as a show of affection,” Johnny laughed. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t wait either.”

Johnny glanced at his phone one more time. He was sitting at one of those uncomfortable metal airport chairs, bouncing his leg nonstop. Kun’s flight had been delayed, so he had already been there for a few hours, and he was feeling very impatient. Kun had agreed to arrive a week before classes started so that they could spend time together, catch up, and finally talk face to face about their tattoos. However, they had already lost a full day and the sun was starting to set. He simply wanted to see his soulmate.

He looked up at the announcement chart and jumped to his feet when he saw that the plane had just arrived. Without thinking twice, Johnny headed towards the marked gate, nearly running. He stopped with the other people waiting for their loved ones to arrive, and gripped his cell phone tightly in his hand, waiting for a sign.

Kun crossed the gates with two suitcases behind him, looking around with expectation. He almost tripped over himself when he saw Johnny, standing behind other people and looking like he wanted to push them out of the way (he didn’t). He walked as fast as the suitcases let him, and Johnny met him halfway, embracing him in a hug that almost threw them both to the ground.

“Wait wait wait-” Kun laughed, trying to keep them from tipping over. One of his suitcases had fallen to the ground, but the other one still stood next to him.

“I missed you so much!” Johnny exclaimed, still holding him close.

“I missed you too but we’re in the way!” Kun complained, although he still wrapped his arms around Johnny’s middle.

“Okay, okay, let’s get out of the way,” Johnny chuckled, grabbing the fallen suitcase and pulling both it and Kun along with him.

“How long have you been here?” Kun asked, noticing Johnny’s unruly hair.

“Way before you told me your flight was delayed,” Johnny replied sheepishly. “I took a shower in the morning and then came straight here.”

“Don’t do that,” Kun shook his head. “You could’ve slept more.”

“I was excited to see you! What do you want me to say?” Johnny pouted. Kun let out a laugh and grabbed his empty hand, entwining their fingers.

“Can we drop these off and then go eat?” Kun gestured at his luggage. “I’m starving.”

“Of course, let’s go.”

They didn’t stay more than five minutes in the dorms as they dropped everything off and then went to have dinner together. They had both been up since very early in the morning, and the time they had spent in the airports (and flight), waiting, had made them both incredibly hungry. Johnny took them back to the little restaurant they had gone to together in one of their first dates, and ate until they were sated.

Since they were close to campus, they made their way back by walking. Johnny didn’t waste time before holding Kun’s hand, still marveling at the fact that he could finally touch him again after the few months they had spent away from each other. He listened to Kun’s story about his short trip with undivided attention, almost managing to trip twice because he was too busy staring at him.

When they arrived at the door of his room, Kun pulled him along, as if it was the normal thing for them. His luggage was neatly tucked in the corner of the room. They sat down on what Kun had claimed as his bed. He was going to have a roommate, but he didn’t know who it was yet, but he hoped it was either Junhui or Yanan, as he already knew them.

“Johnny can I ask you for a very big favor?” Kun said after a little while, looking at their interlocked fingers.

“Of course,” Johnny nodded.

“Can I look at your tattoo? The bunny one.”

The request surprised Johnny. They had talked a little more about their extra tattoos over the days, but they hadn’t actually tried to look at them again or made serious discussion about it. He wondered what Kun was thinking of, but he knew this was not something he had thought about lightly. He had probably spent the whole flight thinking about it.

“Of course,” Johnny agreed after thinking it over. He stood up and lifted his shirt just enough to show the area of the ribs.

Kun stood up right after him and crouched just enough that the rabbit tattoo was at eye level. That soulmark was small, and gray, and it always liked to nest right in that spot. Johnny didn’t see it often, so it was a little strange to have someone else look at it. He felt the tips of Kun’s fingers gently trace over it, and it made him shudder a little. Kun’s eyes were so focused on the mark, and Johnny suddenly felt a very strong urge to just…

“Kun can I kiss you?” The words were out of his mouth before he had even thought them out.

“What?” Kun stopped right where he was standing.

He looked at Johnny with a frown and Johnny pulled his shirt down, suddenly feeling very exposed. He was a bit embarrassed that those words had come out of his mouth, but he didn’t regret them. He had wanted to kiss Kun for a long time now, after all. Kun’s frown slowly transformed into a smile. He grabbed Johnny’s face with both hands and reached up to kiss him.

It took his brain a second to process that Kun was kissing him, but his body was thankfully not as slow. His eyes closed and he placed one hand tentatively on Kun’s middle, leaning into the kiss. The kiss was very soft, but it still made butterflies bloom in his stomach and break havoc inside. He felt Kun smile into the kiss, and he couldn’t help but smile too, their noses accidentally bumping into each other.

“I really missed you so much!” Kun exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Johnny’s neck.

“I missed you too,” Johnny agreed, still surprised at Kun’s boldness.

“Stay the night.”

“W-What?” Johnny stuttered, once again shocked beyond words.

“Just stay here, for tonight,” Kun laughed, “please.”

It was kinda hard, but they managed to cuddle together on Kun’s bed. It was warm, which was probably not ideal in the late summer weather, but it felt nice to finally be together again. They hadn’t even been separated for that long, but a lot had happened in that time. They deserved this, at least.

“Why did you want to look at my tattoo?” Johnny asked.

“Dad said that a bunny must mean you’ve got a very nice soulmate, or something like that,” Kun shrugged. “I was curious.”

“Are you worried about it?” Johnny turned his body just slightly to be able to look at him.”

“Not really,” Kun smiled. “Dad said that love finds the answers eventually. Let’s put it this way: we’re like a four piece puzzle, and we’re missing a couple of them.”

“And what will happen when we find them?” Johnny still didn’t fully understand, it made him a little anxious.

“When we do,” Kun leaned closer to peck the corner of his lips, and grabbed his hands tightly, offering comfort. “We’ll put the pieces where they go, and once we see how nicely they fit, we’ll make things work out.” He smiled.

“You promise?” Johnny asked. He had seen things not work before, but Kun sounded so certain, and he wanted to believe him.

“I promise.” Kun nodded, and Johnny chose to believe him.

9 notes · View notes

meowdymista · 4 years ago

Text

vi. ditmas & devil’s backbone

Part of the Devil’s Backbone project - Masterlist - redrafted on ao3

Notes: as I mentioned, this whole project began because I didn’t like how unhealthy Abigail and John’s relationship is in RDR2. There is a second unhealthy relationship I feel isn’t dealt with in game... I like slapping people in the face with the truth and this bitch really needed a wake up call

BTW, I should mention that whilst I do not expect any takers, if there is something else you want to see in this project, I’m open to requests :)

There’s whispering behind the door. Arthur makes a harsh remark-

“He’s not my son.” More murmuring. “It don’t matter - he ain’t mine.

“Naw, you had your chance, Mary. Quit it - you were married, you could’ve had children. Don’t pretend like you didn’t for my sake.” A pause. “Why? ‘Cause the way you left me was that it was the end. Either you’re lyin’ right now or you were playin’ me.” Another silence. “You can’t honestly think I waited. I’ve had a son, Mary. Isaac was born and buried whilst you was off pretendin’ I didn’t exist. No, o’course I didn’t love her the way I loved you, but you didn’t exactly give me a choice-

“You have to be kiddin’ me right now - you were married. You went and married someone else - what did you think I was gonna do? Wait? For what?

“He ain’t my son!” he bellows. “Even if he was, you think I’m gonna take him from his mother? Where’ve you been all this time? I can’t believe you’re askin’ me this.

“Well, you was wrong.” A silence spreads, thick and unforgiving. “Even if Jack were mine, Abigail’s alive and well - you ain’t gonna be his mother. You can’t come in and cherry pick the boy because it suits whatever damn fancy has taken you."

A sob breaks through, but Arthur is firm. “I ain’t goin’ to be that man, Mary. I’ve spent my life loving you, but if you think I’ll take a boy from his mother for us, then we ain’t ever going to work. He had a father, an’ he was as good for him as we are for each other. I ain’t shiftin’.”

“If you cared-!”

“If you gave a damn, we wouldn’t be in this mess! I could understand if you had been there for him, but you were elsewhere when this boy was born. I ain’t even entertainin’ the idea, Mary. I ain’t.”

“You would give us up?”

“With you bein’ so unreasonable?" He heaves a heavy sigh. "This ranch belongs to Abigail and Jack. Jack belongs to Abigail. You wanted us to run, but now we don’t gotta - say the word and we can walk outta here. I ain’t a fool - I know the law’s gonna come for me one day, but if it’s tomorrow or ten years from now, I’m willin’ to give you everything to my dyin’ day. I will give you every last breath in my body, but I won’t uproot their lives for you. They’ve been through too much.”

She mumbles something about wanting to be a mother.

“Is that it? There’s kids out there tha’ need a home still - orphans and the like. We can take one in-”

She must roll her eyes because his tone lowers, teetering dangerously.

“You’re forgettin’ I was one of ‘em. If it weren’t for Dutch and Hosea-” The roar rips through the thin walls. “They were better to me than my own father! They would have taken you in as well, despite your spoiled attitude but of course Daddy didn’t like me-”

“Daddy is dead!”

“And so is Hosea!” There’s a thump. “So is my mother and father, but you don’t see me cryin’ about it! Naw, you come in here and want to make another boy an orphan, take him from his mother so you can play house!”

“I want a family for us, Arthur!”

“Then why did you wait ‘til you promised your hand to another man?” A pause. “Yeah, I know about it. I knew ‘bout your daddy too. I’ve made enough excuses for you over the years, Mary Gillis, but I still had faith.” A bitter scoff. “I’m a fool when it comes to faith. I put it in all the wrong places, and when it comes down to it, it’s worthless. Ain’t worth a penny.”

“Arthur, you need to rest. You’re getting yourself all worked up over nothing-”

“Ain’t nothin’, Mary.” They must be looking each other in the eye, speaking silently. “I spent years tryin’ to get where I am, and I’m still not good enough. I could be the king of England and you would find fault in me. I give up.”

“Arthur-!”

“I give up, Mary. I- I give up.” The bed creaks as he lowers his weight, his face burying itself into his hands. “I hate how much I loved you. I’m still the man you met all them years ago and… I can’t pretend I’m somethin’ I’m not. Not anymore. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have so many excuses up your sleeve."

"Arthur-"

"You were the only one. You were the only one for so long and I’ve lost so much waitin’. I’m startin’ to wonder if you would ever looked twice without money in my pocket.”

“Arthur, please-”

“No, Mary.” His voice is low, barely more than a whisper. "I'm too old. We're too old to keep messin' like this."

"I'll leave him!"

"Naw, you won't." He sniffs loudly. "An' you shouldn't. You've had me for a fool for many a year an'- an' losin' you… losing you weren't even the worst part. Hosea... Isaac�� Lenny, Sean, Eliza! Hell, watchin' Dutch lose his head? Tryna pick up the pieces after we lost Marston? All of tha' still hurts a lot more than you choosing your daddy over me. It hurt more then and it hurts more now!"

"Arthur, please! Don't say what you can't take back!"

"Why not? After everything you put me through, why is me tellin' you the truth of the situation too much?"

"Because I know you don't mean it!"

"Oh, but I do mean it, Mrs Linton. I do." A prolonged silence is broken only by the woman's sobs. She must try to move closer because Arthur breathes out heavily. "Naw, that ain't a good idea. I… I'll fetch Ms Roberts. She can help you clean up an'- an' get ready for your journey."

Abigail barely scrambles away from the doorway in time before it is wrenched open, a sobbing Mary Linton reaching for him. "Arthur!"

"Mary! I can't keep doing this! I can't!" The door closed again, muddling the sound. Abigail creeps forward, peeking through the gap of the door.

He is kneeling with her on the floor, cradling her face in his hands as her fingers brush his leg.

"I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that your image was going to be burned on the inside of my eyelids. I've thought about you every minute of every day since that moment, and I know it ain't gonna just go away. But we-" He lifts her hand and holds it against his chest, pressing her palm against his ribs to feel his heart. "We ain't gonna make it. We was never gonna make it."

"Arthur-!"

"It doesn't matter whether I got dragged to Guarma. We was over years ago. I… I can't trust you to love me the way you say you will after what happened with your daddy. I can't."

"But Daddy-!"

"I know, Mary. I know, but my life here with Abigail and Jack? That's what's keepin' me goin' now. Every time I hold you I can feel myself gettin' angry at all the lost time, an' it ain't worth it no more. You will always mean everything to me but what we had is in the past now. I can't keep playing this game. I won't."

He seems surprised to find her so nearby and clears his throat, obviously uncomfortable at the thought of being overheard. "Would you mind helping Mrs Linton? She's going to be leaving us tomorrow an' well…"

He trails off with a sigh. His bloodshot eyes are all the more blue as he stares into the embers of the fireplace.

"Of course, Arthur." She touches her fingertips to his arm in condolence and is surprised when he clasps her hand, eyes still staring blankly.

"I'm gonna go for a ride with Gwyn. Think you'll be alrigh'?"

Her breath catches as he meets her gaze. "Of course. Take as long as you need."

He nods, patting her hand as he turns his head back to the fading light of the logs. Abigail stands up straighter and retraces his steps into Jack's bedroom.

The usually so gracious woman is crumpled on the floor sobbing into the mattress. As Abigail steps forward to help her up, the door slams shut, causing her to flinch and sob all the harder.

"C'mon now, let's get you sorted."

She resists Abigail's tug, wiping her streaming face over the back of her hands. "I don't understand what's gotten into him. He promised me…! Whenever you call, I come - what's changed?"

She fights the urge to roll her eyes. "Does he need to have changed? You're moving onto your second husband-"

"It didn't matter with Barry!"

She sighs sharply, folding her arms unable to bite her tongue. "You have no idea the shit we have been through to get here." Mary tries to interject, but the floodgates have been opened. "We have been through literal shit since you last showed your face. Right now, he is all me and my little boy have left! We lost his father, we lost Dutch and Hosea, and we have lost all of our family - what you see here on this ranch is all that's left of that life." She picks up a perfectly folded blouse and throws it at the open travel bag across the room. "He is a good man, and he has been in love with you as long as I can remember. I couldn't understand why everyone else hated you when you made him so happy, but I guess you opened my eyes on that now."

She continues to throw items at the bag, getting more agitated as she goes. "I gave you as good a welcome I could, but Arthur was right about just how spoiled you are. You ain't ever had to work a day in your life! You ain't had to go hungry so your boy could have clothes that fit! You ain't ever seen the time and energy Arthur puts in to make sure everybody else is alright ‘cause you ain't ever stayed long enough to see it with your own eyes. You're a fool for letting a good man like him go!"

"What would you know?" retorts Mary, still picturesque with mascara running down her cheeks. "What would you know about any of this?"

"Because he's been right in front of me too!" Abigail huffs, pushing loose tendrils out of her face. "I loved Jack's father, I loved him as much as you love Arthur, but he was either useless or he didn't care enough to pretend to give a damn. We argued worse than you two, but I loved him and it's only now that he's gone that I- I can be myself. I can just be a mother. I ain't fightin' no more, ain't tellin' myself all these 'if only's. I've seen Arthur do the same right up until you showed up at the gate. Since then he's been miserable an' I'm personally peggin' it on you."

She gets to her feet, pulling a skirt from Abigail’s hand. “Are you sweet on him?”

A laugh slips out before Abigail can swallow it, and it’s greeted with Mary’s palm flat against her cheek.

Abigail’s head snaps around with the force, and catches a glimpse of Jack’s eyes in the crack of the door.

“You’re a strong woman, Abigail Roberts.” The smoke furls over his lips, the blue steel of his gaze staring out over the horizon. “You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for an’... well, if you won’t do it for Marston, do it for Jack. You’re his mother an’ the one constant in his life - I like to think you would give me the boot if you thought it was best for you both.”

Mary steps forward, squaring her shoulders. “What have you been telling him?” she yells between sobs.

“I aren’t him, I ain’t her, or any of your stooges! You don’t owe me nothing - I don’t owe you nothing! Nothing! I’ll spit in your eye - I did! I told them! Yeah, I told ‘em, an’ I’d tell ‘em again!”

“What have you done to make him hate me?”

“Now I’ve got God’s ear! Mr Milton and Mr Ross, about the bank robbery. An’ I wanted them to kill you! Oh you ain’t so big now are yer?” Arthur murmurs in Dutch’s ear, his hand over his, pushing the gun to the ground as she laughs manically into every stunned face that’s gathered around to watch.

“Not so big now! Are we, your majesty?”

Abigail feels the gunshot through her gut even though there is no physical wound to be seen. She shakes her head, her anger melting into the air the same way her blood had soaked the hollow. “You wouldn’t be here if he hated you, Mary.”

“Arthur and I have always had an understanding and now you’re in the picture-!”

“I’ve always been in the picture. We’ve known each other since I was eighteen years old and every time I told him how nice I thought you were, he would brush it off sayin’ you had better ideas than him.” Abigail shakes her head, trying to forget how brutal he could be when it came to himself. “I don’t know what ideas they was, but he deserves better than that. If he ain’t the best idea you’ve ever had, then you don’t deserve him. I don’t know anyone who deserves him, but I know I won’t have a grown woman throwing a tantrum in my house because it took her twenty five years to realise her mistake.

“I will leave you to pack your things, and I will be civil. Hell, I will even throw in a good word for you, but if you ever darken this doorstep with the intention to harm anybody under this roof, I will kill you myself - Morgan or no Morgan. Now get outta my house.”

A low whistle comes from the kitchen table. “You sure told her, Miss Roberts.”

“An’ where was you?” She snatches the bowl from in front of Uncle and tips the contents back in the pot, ignoring his protests. “You was sittin’ on your ass, letting everyone else do the work as always.”

“Come now, Abigail, I’ve got-”

“To go find Arthur and make sure he’s alright!” She throws him his hat from the table, her hands on her hips as she glares.

“I’d love to, but it’s the lumbago…”

“I’ll go, Ma!”

“You will do no such thing, Jack Marston. Go prepare the cart for Mrs Linton tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, Ma…”

She turns to Uncle, her gaze stern. “Just go make sure he hasn’t been jumped by them Skinners up near Tall Trees.”

“Arthur’s more than capable.”

“I don’t care! Go find him!”

“You women and your hormones.” Uncle grunts, holding his back as he gets to his feet slowly. “Y’know I thought I’d miss your monthly nagging stretch, so far it’s like you’ve crammed all nine in the past coupl’o months - here’s to it getting better!”

Abigail’s face flushes. “What do you mean?”

He waves his hand dismissively. “You know what I mean. I ain’t stupid. Jack’s too young, and Arthur looks the other way, but back in the day ol’ Uncle needed to be able to tell who was available-”

“Don’t be dumb, Uncle.” Abigail swallows the upcoming nausea, ignoring the ringing in her ears. “Go find him before I feed you to the Skinners myself!”

“Alrigh’, I’m goin’, I’m goin’ - your secret's safe with me.” Chuckling, he waddles away, leaving Abigail to sink into the chair and bury her face into the darkness of her arms.

A creak of the floorboards forces her to lift her head, her anger flaring at the man that dares disobey but it melts when her gaze fixes on Mary.

"Is that why?" she hiccups. "Why he's choosing you and your boy?"

Abigail breathes out slowly, choosing her words carefully. "No, Mrs Linton. He- I haven't told him yet."

Her large eyes swell with heartache. "Is it his?"

The hesitation sends her staggering outside.

"Mrs Linton! Mary!" Abigail hurries after her but outside she is only greeted by a confused adolescent and an amused Uncle.

"What the hell did you tell her?" Uncle chortles.

Jack is flabbergasted. "She just jumped on a horse an' took off! I thought we was taking her in the cart?"

"Which way did she go?"

"North." His hands wring themselves. "Ma, d'you think she knows abou' the Skinners? She was headed straight there."

Abigail swears and slaps Uncle on the arm. "What are you waiting for?" she cries. "Get after her!"

"I thought you wanted me to go look for Arthur?"

"He can look after himself! She can't round up the chickens in the pen! Go get her!"

The horse whinnies and gallops out the gate. For the second time in as many minutes, Abigail sank down on the porch and began to thud her head against the post.

"What happened?" Jack's arm is hesitant as it wraps around her shoulder, but it helps to ground her.

"Nothing, son. Can you run a quick perimeter? If you see Uncle Arthur, tell him about Mary. Fightin' or no, losin' her won't do any of us good."

He hesitates, but as the tears spill over, he stiffens and mounts his horse obediently. Abigail sags.

#rdr2 fic #rdr2 fanfic #red dead fic #red dead fanfic #Arthur Morgan x Abigail roberts

15 notes · View notes

ardor-mohr · 4 years ago

Text

“It’s getting harder to live without faith, or you, or whatever we choose to call what calls to us in the quiet.”

— Kevin Young, Dear Darkness (2009)

9 notes · View notes

richincolor · 4 years ago

Photo

We have six books on our release calendar this week! Are any of them on your TBR list?

More Than Just a Pretty Face by Syed M. Masood Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Danyal Jilani doesn’t lack confidence. He may not be the smartest guy in the room, but he’s funny, gorgeous, and going to make a great chef one day. His father doesn’t approve of his career choice, but that hardly matters. What does matter is the opinion of Danyal’s longtime crush, the perfect-in-all-ways Kaval, and her family, who consider him a less than ideal arranged marriage prospect.

When Danyal gets selected for Renaissance Man–a school-wide academic championship–it’s the perfect opportunity to show everyone he’s smarter than they think. He recruits the brilliant, totally-uninterested-in-him Bisma to help with the competition, but the more time Danyal spends with her…the more he learns from her…the more he cooks for her…the more he realizes that happiness may be staring him right in his pretty face.

Lobizona (Wolves of No World #1) by Romina Garber Wednesday Books

Some people ARE illegal.

Lobizonas do NOT exist.

Both of these statements are false.

Manuela Azul has been crammed into an existence that feels too small for her. As an undocumented immigrant who’s on the run from her father’s Argentine crime-family, Manu is confined to a small apartment and a small life in Miami, Florida.

Until Manu’s protective bubble is shattered.

Her surrogate grandmother is attacked, lifelong lies are exposed, and her mother is arrested by ICE. Without a home, without answers, and finally without shackles, Manu investigates the only clue she has about her past–a mysterious “Z” emblem—which leads her to a secret world buried within our own. A world connected to her dead father and his criminal past. A world straight out of Argentine folklore, where the seventh consecutive daughter is born a bruja and the seventh consecutive son is a lobizón, a werewolf. A world where her unusual eyes allow her to belong.

As Manu uncovers her own story and traces her real heritage all the way back to a cursed city in Argentina, she learns it’s not just her U.S. residency that’s illegal. . . .it’s her entire existence.

Don’t Ask Me Where I’m From by Jennifer De Leon Simon Schuster

Fifteen-year-old Liliana is fine, thank you very much. It’s fine that her best friend, Jade, is all caught up in her new boyfriend lately. It’s fine that her inner-city high school is disorganized and underfunded. It’s fine that her father took off again—okay, maybe that isn’t fine, but what is Liliana supposed to do? She’s fifteen! Being left with her increasingly crazy mom? Fine. Her heathen little brothers? Fine, fine, fine. But it turns out Dad did leave one thing behind besides her crazy family. Before he left, he signed Liliana up for a school desegregation program called METCO. And she’s been accepted.

Being accepted into METCO, however, isn’t the same as being accepted at her new school. In her old school, Liliana—half-Guatemalan and half-Salvadorian—was part of the majority where almost everyone was a person of color. But now at Westburg, where almost everyone is white, the struggles of being a minority are unavoidable. It becomes clear that the only way to survive is to lighten up—whiten up. And if Dad signed her up for this program, he wouldn’t have just wanted Liliana to survive, he would have wanted her to thrive. So what if Liliana is now going by Lili? So what if she’s acting like she thinks she’s better than her old friends? It’s not a big deal. It’s fine.

But then she discovers the gutting truth about her father: He’s not on one of his side trips. And it isn’t that he doesn’t want to come home…he can’t. He’s undocumented and he’s been deported back to Guatemala. Soon, nothing is fine, and Lili has to make a choice: She’s done trying to make her white classmates and teachers feel more comfortable. Done changing who she is, denying her culture and where she came from. They want to know where she’s from, what she’s about? Liliana is ready to tell them.

Illegal (Disappeared #2) by Francisco X. Stork Scholastic Press

What does it mean to be illegal in the United States? Life in Mexico is a death sentence for Emiliano and his sister Sara.

To escape the violent cartel that is after them, they flee across the border, seeking a better life in the United States and hoping that they can find a way to bring their pursuers to justice.

Sara turns herself over to the authorities to apply for asylum.

Emiliano enters the country illegally, planning to live with their father.

But now Sara is being held indefinitely in a detention facility, awaiting an asylum hearing that may never come, finding it harder every day to hold on to her faith and hope. Life for Emiliano is not easy either. Everywhere he goes, it’s clear that he doesn’t belong. And all the while, the cartel is closing in on them…

Emiliano sets off on a tense and dangerous race to find justice, but can he expose the web of crimes from his place in the shadows?

Court of Lions (Mirage #2) by Somaiya Daud Flatiron Books

Two identical girls, one a princess, the other a rebel. Who will rule the empire?

After being swept up into the brutal Vathek court, Amani, the ordinary girl forced to serve as the half-Vathek princess’s body double, has been forced into complete isolation. The cruel but complex princess, Maram, with whom Amani had cultivated a tenuous friendship, discovered Amani’s connection to the rebellion and has forced her into silence, and if Amani crosses Maram once more, her identity – and her betrayal – will be revealed to everyone in the court.

Amani is desperate to continue helping the rebellion, to fight for her people’s freedom. But she must make a devastating decision: will she step aside, and watch her people suffer, or continue to aid them, and put herself and her family in mortal danger? And whatever she chooses, can she bear to remain separated, forever, from Maram’s fiancé, Idris?

A Map to the Sun by Sloane Leong First Second

One summer day, Ren meets Luna at a beachside basketball court and a friendship is born. But when Luna moves to back to Oahu, Ren’s messages to her friend go unanswered.

Years go by. Then Luna returns, hoping to rekindle their friendship. Ren is hesitant. She’s dealing with a lot, including family troubles, dropping grades, and the newly formed women’s basketball team at their highschool. With Ren’s new friends and Luna all on the basketball team, the lines between their lives on and off the court begin to blur. During their first season, this diverse and endearing group of teens are challenged in ways that make them reevaluate just who and how they trust.

Sloane Leong’s evocative storytelling about the lives of these young women is an ode to the dynamic nature of friendship.

#more than just a pretty face #lobizona #don't ask me where i'm from #court of lions #a map to the sun #illegal #WeNeedDiverseBooks

31 notes · View notes

dopescotlandwarrior · 4 years ago

Text

Beauty Chooses II-Chapter 13

A special thanks to @statell for all your help

Previous Chapters at AO3

Chapter 13 Love Trumps All (NSFW)

Jamie played with Faith until she was exhausted, and it was a delight to watch her hang upside down squealing with laughter, climbing on her father like he was tree with arms to steady her along the way. Many times he caught my eye speaking volumes wordlessly. I needed him, I craved him, and my body prepared for loving him. When Faith started yawning, we took her upstairs and she was asleep in minutes. Jamie held his hand out to me and pulled us into our bedroom. He leaned against the door and hugged me to him running his hand up and down my back before kissing me senseless. He moved me across the room like a dance and I followed him closely, locked in his gaze. When he laid next to me on our bed, I felt something was wrong. I knew his body, his style of lovemaking, his dominance when his need was high.

“Jamie, would you mind terribly if I slept a bit. I am done in from the two jumps last night. I need to rest before I love you again.”

“Worry not love, I will wait for you to be ready.”

He kissed me without passion and pulled me to cuddle against him. My body was screaming for him to touch me, so I laid perfectly still and breathed slowly in and out, hoping to convince him I was asleep. Before long Jamie was chasing his dreams and I exhaled in relief before letting myself rest for the afternoon. When I woke up, there was a note from Jamie next me.

‘My darling Sassenach, I hear Donus calling me for a ride in the snow. I tucked the blankets around you and built a fire to keep you warm. I will miss you while I’m gone. All my love is for you sweet Claire.’

A single tear rolled down my cheek from the sweet note, but I was determined to stop the never ending tears and jumped out of bed heading for the kitchen to help with dinner.

Misses Crook was first to grab my attention as she complained about no meat to cook for Jamie’s dinner. She handed me a list and asked politely if I would purchase the items, on the double. I laughed and grabbed my purse for a quick trip to the grocery store. Soon we would slaughter an animal for such a meal, I was grateful for the short cut of purchasing the meat ready to cook.

I looked for Jamie and Donus as I drove down our rode and almost missed them deep in the property where the stream was frozen solid. I hit the brakes and slid this way and that before coming to a stop. He sat on his beautiful horse, lost in his thoughts. He stared, unfocused, at the landscape and didn’t move. I wondered how long he sat there, contemplating his world and the bits that were stealing his thoughts. I shivered at the thought I had ruined his interest in me. He couldn’t make love this afternoon and now he sits alone, a million miles away. I drove to the grocery store in a completely different place than when I started, laughing out the kitchen door at Misses Crook’s face.

I shopped like a zombie, shaking my head occasionally trying to force myself to concentrate on the task I came for. When I pulled the jeep into Lallybroch, Jamie ran out of the barn and carried all the groceries into the house.

“Will ye come for a ride with me Sassenach?”

Jamie’s face was boyish and excited, how could I resist? “Of course, I would love to.”

Rather than take Brimstone, he pulled me up to sit in front of him on Donus who looked fresh as a daisy. No doubt from standing still while Jamie ruminated over whatever was troubling him. I cleared my mind and leaned against the massive chest that I belonged to. I stayed quiet hoping Jamie would open up, but he was in a happy place at the moment and talked mostly about how the land had changed, pointing out landmarks we knew and remembering our time there. He pushed me with his jokes and stories until I was laughing too, remembering a time of innocence and falling in love. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. I dropped my head back, against his chest, and savored every minute. When the horses were fed, we ran to the kitchen and the savory aromas from a dinner cooking. The guys were busy getting Baritone ready for a show in Italy. They were both leaving tonight, and I wondered if I would ever see them again.

Misses Crook was red faced as she loaded the table with a tri tip roast, potatoes, baked carrots, green beans, mushrooms, colcannon, bannocks with caboc and crowdie cheese, and several new dishes I had never seen. She was praised for the perfectly cooked meal until she held up her hand to stop the compliments. Baritone asked if she cooked beef in Scotland.

“No laddie, we did not have such beasts to cook.”

“How in the world did you create a rare tri tip then? I’ve heard they are very hard to cook this way.”

“I dinna ken about rare cookin, I just followed the recipe in the book Glavia bought for me in town.”

“It’s a cookbook.” Glavia said distractedly as she spooned food into Faith’s mouth. I heaped another piece of beef on Jamie’s plate and walked behind him pushing horseradish on his plate and suggesting he dip the meat in it. His cheeks were pink from the heat of the horseradish, but he asked for more as another piece of beef was put on is plate.

I was hyper aware of Jamie, sensing his every need during the long feast and jumping to take care of him many times. Always with a kiss or a hand on his shoulder and blushing at his smile of thanks. When we were all stuffed and the dishes were done, Glavia took Faith to bed, Misses Crook said goodbye to the guys and went to her room. Joe and Baritone, Jamie and I, drank whiskey in front of the fire and talked until they had to leave. I gripped Joe hoping the hug would be remembered for the rest of our lives. I was going back to 1748 and destroying the rocks. We would not be back, and I hugged him for an extra minute to burn the feel of him into my soul. When they were gone, I looked at Jamie and hugged his waist.

“I am so full I think I might pop and this heavy beef is like a tranquilizer.”

“What is tranquilizer?”

“It’s medicine that puts you in a deep sleep.”

“My love is very tired, I am too.”

Jamie turned lights out as we made our way upstairs. My heart hurt because we would spend another night without the love I craved. I knew Jamie. If he wanted to love me, nothing would stop him. I simply provided a convenient excuse to not make love for another night. We wrapped ourselves around each other and rode our dreams, mine coming a bit harder than his.

This became our ritual for the next six days until I was out of excuses to help Jamie cover the fact that he did not want to make love to me. I went through the day working on my chore list while Jamie mended fences from the recent snow weight against it. The house was quiet when Glavia rested with Faith and Misses Crook cooked. I escaped to a hot shower, a sharp razer, and my favorite body wash. That did the trick and I felt relaxed and calm as I made my way to the bedroom, pushing the door closed with my foot before bending over and pulling the towel to my hair. I squeezed the excess water with the towel and stood up pushing my hair of my face.

When Jamie spoke, I nearly jumped out of my skin and grabbed the towel around me feeling my face on fire from my blush. I looked down at my feet wanting to melt into the floor, embarrassed by my naked display while drying my hair. I inched toward the closet, stammering to say something.

“Stop.”

I froze in place and heard him leave the bed. I could feel his heat very close to me, in front of me, then behind me. Fingers touched the top of my shoulders, lightly, before running down my arm. I felt his breath on my hair and his fingers dragging up my arms.

“Yer a bonnie vision Sassenach, every inch of ye as grand as the day we wed. Yer body hasna changed from pregnancy, yer arse is beggin to be touched. May I touch it mo chridhe? Please.”

I could feel his fingers on the back of my thighs creeping slowly closer to the towel. His touch was so light on my butt and I heard him gasp when his hand caressed me.

“Dear God,” he whispered.

I clutched the towel to me as his hands slowly came around my hips moving upwards. I thought I might pass out from the intensity of his touch and his breathing in my ear. I closed my eyes as his fingers touched the swell of my breasts. Every cell in my body was screaming at him to touch me, take me, force his will upon me until I screamed my release. When he covered my breast I sucked air involuntarily, irritated I had tipped my hand to my arousal.

He turned me around to look at me, but I was suffering from my modesty. I felt his hand under my chin pulling my head up so he could look into my eyes. How could he not see my need for him?

When his tongue invaded my mouth, I heard myself moan wantonly and was powerless to stop it as he pushed me to the bed and lifted me onto it. Still clutching the towel to me, he kissed me passionately, running his tongue down my throat and chest until he pressed it under the towel. I felt my nipples burning from the stimulation causing another moan when his hand covered my breast over the towel.

“I would trade a year of my life to look at what is under the towel. Have pity on this love sick fool, lass. Let me see ye.” He was whispering with a horse, breathy voice that made the hair on my neck stand up. His eyes were dark and trained on the towel holding himself back from ripping it off. I tugged until the towel came loose and I pulled it away feeling my breasts bounce from the effort. Rather than mauling me he just stared at every inch of skin before touching me softly with the tips of his fingers. I could feel my heart banging in my chest and took puffs of air trying to regulate my oxygen deficit.

Feather-light touches on my arms, legs, breasts, and neck, he watched the skin he touched and kissed me deeply. I heard his sharp intake of air when he touched my inner thigh and I almost came from the intensity. He was in command and the pace of his exploration was pushing me into the stroke zone.

“My darling Sassenach, breathe with me, relax yer quivering body and let me love ye.”

I locked my eyes on his and followed his instruction, praying he would fill me with himself and claim me as his own. It was what I wanted desperately, for Jamie to show me my place in his world, right next to him, a slave to his pleasure and unending need. When he touched my inner thigh, he pushed them open and slid two fingers into my fold. I gasped and arched my back moaning without control. I felt his tongue in my mouth and almost lost it as his fingers invaded my body.

“This love will bring me to my knees or give me the strength of ten men. I have tried to resist ye mo chaileagan milis, to gain control over yer hold on me. I am sorry mo chridhe. I surrender to yer love woman, I crave ye, every minute of the day and night, I surrender. Open yer body and let me in.”

I spread my legs wide and looked into his dark eyes. He held my head and my gaze as he pushed into me. I could see the superhuman strength he used to go slow and I wanted the moment to be real, brutal if need be, a race to the finish if that is what he wanted. I ran my hands down his back and dipped between the cheeks of his butt running my finger from his balls to his anus making him growl like an animal. He devoured me and lost his mind at my touch. I lifted my knees to either side of him and kept my finger stroking his forbidden places while he pounded into me and sent me reeling to the stratosphere of the angels, barely aware of his extended growl as he pumped himself into me. He panted and clutched me to him while I kissed his neck and cheek.

When he could breathe again, he turned my face to his and I was startled by the intensity in his eyes.

“You belong to me, now and forever,” he panted.

I nodded my head yes and felt the assault of his possessive kisses. He was back, by my side, and we had both learned the most powerful lesson, love trumps all, and will not be denied. My fears and timid shyness left my body when I exhaled, and Jamie claimed the space as his own.

“Do not fear, love. I will ride the centuries with ye, after this life and into the next, I wilna be parted from ye. I promise.”

We napped in our embrace and when I opened my eyes he was still holding me, deep in sleep. I felt closer to him than ever before.

“I will follow you to the ends of the earth, my love.” He pulled me to him and I dropped into the void of sleep again.

We allowed ourselves some time to eat and sleep and talk to Glavia and Misses Crook about what was ahead. Jamie drew the mountain and our property lines, penciling in a small house that they could share in the future in close proximity to our own. I was so glad they were coming with us, rather than finding a position with Jocasta’s friends. The latter would have been much more civilized and comfortable I’m sure, but we were a family now. The bonds forged delivering Faith, fighting off a rapist and thief, narrowly escaping death from the red coats, and time travel, were as strong as steel bands connecting us to each other and I was relieved for their company and help. Jocasta had offered a sizable stipend to both women for their brave loyalty. It would get them comfortably to a new post if they wanted to leave.

We hung on Jamie’s every word when he drew the map. There was a structure for making whisky, a good size barn with an outdoor pen for the smaller animals. A very large garden that Misses Crook gave a nod to.

“Misses Crook, do ye think it’s big enough to feed all of us with left-over to put up for winter?”

“Well, I…I should say so,” she stammered through her blush.

My hand found Jamie’s thigh for a squeeze of appreciation. He found things to ask Glavia as well like which walls to put the nursery windows on. He made them both feel like a part of this enormous project.

Glavia inspected the ten thousand acre piece of land and shook her head, “what will you do with so much land?”

“It’s a home to the Highlander settlers. Each family will have enough space to farm the rich black soil, smaller plots for a home and a business, like a blacksmith, saddle maker, or a tailor.”

“I dinna see a kirk, Laird.”

“Ah, that would be here Misses Crook, with windows overlooking a spectacular sight of the land below. A valley nestled between the mountains with a river running through it. I have seen many deer in the meadows, elk and buffalo. People will come to church just to gaze over the ridge and feel inspired and holy inside. The ridge runs all along the East side of the property. It’s why I named the settlement Fraser’s Ridge.”

I was bowled over by the reverence in Jamie’s voice and the careful consideration of the project. I couldn’t look away from his face until he touched my cheek, boldly kissing me in front of the women.

When we were alone after supper, Jamie was reading in bed. I climbed on him, taking and giving until we were both completely spent. I could see Fraser’s Ridge in my mind and knew Jamie would bring his drawing to life, but he would have walked away, in fact, did walk away, to find me. I was a part of this story, alongside Jamie. I hoped I would be enough to truly help him.

After Hogmanay, we talked in earnest about going back. I realized Faith had outgrown the dress she jumped in five months ago and we would need wraps and new dresses as well. I purchased enough fabric for what we needed and white cotton to make Jamie a shirt. He was worried about Murtagh and it made him antsy. Misses Crook, Glavia, and I worked day and night to finish the garments and our excitement grew.

I made arrangements with the neighbor’s son to feed the horses again explaining his duty was done when he found the barn empty. He lifted his shoulders and took the fifty dollar bill I handed him.

My last indulgence in this century was good quality boots for the women and one little girl. They would be easily hidden under our skirts and last for years. I was delighted with my final purchase until I walked by a boutique with a lovely satin corset. I added silk stockings before rushing home.

On the first day in February, our agreed day to jump, I was strangely nervous. Misses Crook could hardly tie my laces because her hands kept going back to the satin fabric. She helped me into my dress. A lovely yellow jacket and split front skirt with a white facing skirt with green vines that I had embroidered over for authenticity. Printed fabric was still far in the future.

I was near panic for some reason, pacing our room until Jamie came in. He talked about leaving Murtagh with an enormous task when he jumped on the ship headed for Scotland. He hoped Murtagh went down the mountain before the snow covered the road and spent the worst of the weather at River run.

“You look bonnie in yer new dress Sassenach.” His fingers were touching me everywhere, making me confused in my nervous state. Murtagh flooded my head. Memories of him dropping Jamie’s treasures into the priest hole.

“Jesus Christ Jamie, all of your heirlooms and finery are buried on this property. Murtagh and I emptied the house just before the uprising, to protect it. Maybe we could all take something in our hands, the pieces that mean the most to you.”

“I love ye for thinkin of it but they arna that important, ye ken? Let’s leave them be.”

“Your father’s sword and your mother’s jewelry are here, we can take them with us, Jamie.”

The women were gathered in the parlor when we came flying down the stairs. Jamie had agreed to fifteen minutes of searching and no more. I ran into the crispy air and realized I was dressed for the eighteenth century and the priest hole was in a barn that was no longer there. My heart sunk until Jamie walked quickly to where he said the barn was and more specifically, the priest hole. He held a decorative sword that hung in the parlor which he carefully pushed into the dirt over and over again. I knew he wanted to find the treasure because fifteen minutes had come and gone several times, I was sure.

“I’m sorry Sassenach, I canna find it. He drove the sword into the dirt up to the hilt and I heard a distinctive thud and saw Jamie’s startled face. It seemed everyone was speaking excitedly at once. I worried we were late to jump until I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous that was. We were not expected, and most people did not own a watch. I told the women to put Faith down for her nap and watch one last movie. Jamie grabbed a shovel from the barn and started digging. He reached the burlap sacks finally and started hauling them up. I worried when I didn’t see the sword but one last feel deep into the hole and Jamie pulled it out with a huge smile on his face.

Jamie was quick to fill the hole and join us inside where we sorted out the most important objects and put the others in their natural place around the house. Misses Crook and Glavia packed their corsets with miniature portraits, candlesticks, and the apostle spoons, a set of twelve beautifully ornate silver spoons. Try as we might, no one had room for Ellen’s jewelry box until an idea popped in my head. I pulled Jamie to the kitchen pulling heavy-duty rubber bands out of a drawer. I put my foot through the bands until there were a dozen around my ankle. I pulled up my skirts and held the jewelry box to my thigh so Jamie could wrap the bands around the box and my leg.

I looked up, wondering why he was stalling. He was speechless and sputtering about my silk stockings, running his hand up to the lace and then down to my boot. He was spellbound for several minutes before he started moving again. He boldly pushed my skirts up until he could see both legs encased in silk. The skirts continued to rise until he saw the lower part of the satin corset.

“Christ, if ye mean to kill me with waitin it might be quicker to just slit my throat Sassenach.”

“Well, wait you must because it’s time to jump.”

“I’m a lucky man mo chridhe. Are ye ready?”

We linked arms behind the barn. Jamie held Faith and I held the sword. Faith had fallen asleep again on Jamie’s shoulder, so we closed the circle and I pulled the biggest rock from the sack and closed my eyes, concentrating on River Run.

When I filled my lungs with cool, clean air, my smile almost hurt. Jamie helped us down off the rock and we all looked around for any witnesses, feeling relieved there were none. We started walking to whatever awaited us at River Run.

Jocasta was warm and welcoming. Jamie asked about Murtagh and she blushed when telling him he had been there for the past month but returned to the ridge a few days ago. I wondered what that blush was about but was thrilled he had gotten off the mountain for the worst of the winter.

We spent two days at the plantation and borrowed a wagon to get us all to our new home. Jocasta held me warmly telling me all she had added to the wagon to help our transition. I was grateful for all she had done for us, and especially so for her forgiving the disappearing act five months ago. We settled into the wagon feeling excitement and maybe a bit of apprehension.

Like the first time to the ridge, we climbed the mountain for hours before Jamie pulled us to stop and stood up.

“Sweet Jesus. How did he do it?”

I got to my feet and almost passed out from shock. There in front of us was a grand house, piles of split wood, and other materials. The house had to be a two-story and there was smoke rolling out of two chimneys.

“How did he build this so fast, Jamie?”

“Sit Sassenach, let’s go find out.”

As soon as I sat down the wagon moved forward right up to the front of house. I could hear men laughing inside and wondered how many men were in there. Jamie helped us all down and reached for Faith then we opened the front door to the most peculiar sight. Murtagh stood over a makeshift desk and ten black men looked over his shoulder, cracking jokes and laughing. I blinked several times thinking I would wake in the wagon after a nap.

Murtagh looked up and seemed to freeze and stare at Jamie for a minute. Quick to Jamie’s side, he hugged his godson and his relief was clear on his smiling face. He hugged each of us, unabashedly, and looked into my eyes with tremendous warmth. “Welcome home, lass.”

“Murtagh, ye have some explainin to do. How did ye build this fine house during the five months I was gone then? And, uh, who are these men?”

“Except for the month we spent at River Run, they have been here to help, sent by the lovely Jocasta. There’s one thing I must tell ye Jamie. Here, they arna slaves, they are free men who get paid for their service.”

Murtagh smiled and walked through the men. “As luck would have it, they are strong, they learn quickly, and they are willing to work as hard as I do. We sleep on the floor, together. They havna seen a cold night since they came and what I eat, they eat. We share equally. Most importantly, they are happy here.”

Jamie’s eyes were like saucers as he looked from one man to the other. All of them had decent shoes and warm clothes and looked genuinely happy.

“Does my aunt know what ye’ve done here?”

“They are a gift to you Jamie. She wouldna understand if I talked for days. They wilna be going back to River Run. Might I have a word outside?”

Jamie walked to the door and both men slipped outside. The women looked scared and mute, so I walked to the first man and stuck out my hand in introduction. I went to the next man, smiling in greeting. I asked him what he did here, and he told me he splits wood while another yelled “the best he’d ever seen.” I covered our handshake with my other hand and smiled into his proud eyes. I moved to the next man noticing that Glavia had followed my example and was meeting the former slaves.

I learned much about these men. Mostly their happiness about the opportunity to work, be paid, be admired and appreciated as free men. What has Murtagh done here I wondered. One of the men offered hot beans as a meal and we were all ravenous. They made short work of finding things for us to sit on and we were handed a hot bowl of beans. The men sat on the floor and ate with us. Faith went from one man to the other, touching his face or arms, accepting a bite of beans when offered. We laughed at her innocence and fearless interaction with these dark-skinned men. She didn’t seem to notice they were different from us because they weren’t. It took the innocent eyes of a baby to see them as her father’s equal. I felt such pride in her. By the time I felt Jamie behind me he had seen enough to be almost speechless. One of the men held a bowl of beans out to him and Murtagh and they sat among us and ate.

I was quite aware of the miracle I was witnessing and wondered how the future would pan out for them. How could they be returned to indentured servants after knowing freedom, happiness, and pride? I looked to Murtagh and then Jamie.

“Fraser’s Ridge will not abide slavery,” he announced. “Men of all colors, who can prove their worth as a member of this community will be welcomed and given land to farm. We will let it be known, when a man crosses the line into Fraser’s Ridge, he is free.”

Murtagh smiled at his godson and Jamie looked at me with bright eyes, like he just solved the problems of the century. Because he did. I figured there would be those who oppose us, and those to sue us, maybe those to try and hurt us. It is the price of freedom for these men and we would fight for them. I had a very high opinion of our Laird and felt safe in his decision to give them protection.

I stayed in that pink bubble all afternoon and was anxious to ask Jamie about it when we were alone. When the men retired near the fire Jamie looked for a secluded place for the women to sleep. There were very few walls up on the interior of the house but the ladies were happy with a quiet corner. Too exhausted to care I imagine. Once they were bedded down with blankets and Faith between them Jamie took my hand and led me up the stairs to a place of our own. Only a small area of the upstairs had a rudimentary floor so we snuggled close together.

“Jamie, I have never been more proud of you than I was today. I am so thrilled we can give these men a better life. How do you plan to handle the opposition?”

“I have no idea, Sassenach, but keep a sharp eye for those who will fight us.”

Pop goes the bubble as he pulled me to him. I couldn’t think anymore and let Jamie’s rhythmic breathing pull me under.

It was the start of a grand adventure that would surely test our metal in the first years. Jamie held the bill of sale for all of the freed slaves in case we were challenged for our right to them. It happened a few times, local militia would ride in and demand to see papers on all ten men. Jamie was formidable and his dominance in this land was unmistakable. They would ride off and we would all get back to work taking quite some time before the ten of them would relax.

Jamie made it a priority to build our barn and we all agreed to spend many more nights on the floor so we could rescue our horses from Lallybroch. Jamie bought feed and hay from a merchant in town and we were well stocked when we decided to take our final jump. I felt very familiar with Fraser’s Ridge and confident I could get us back to this very spot. It would be my only failure jumping. We landed on the big rock outside of River Run with two horses, scared shitless at being on a slippery rock so high above the ground. Jamie jumped down and coaxed Donus to jump.

“Sassenach, if ye please, wake Brimstone up so she will see him jump off the rock. I think he’s ready.”

It wasn’t too much longer before Donus took an exaggerated leap of faith and jumped off the rock. Jamie mounted his horse with a proud smile that promptly fell off when Brimstone fell asleep again and I yawned.

“Ye must work with her to make her jump Sassenach and she’s asleep so ye must try harder.”

We had been on this rock for hours and I was exhausted. I pulled Brimstone to the edge of the rock and dropped to my butt and then onto the ground. She was so high above me I could barely hold her reins but clucked and kissed to her until she leaped to the ground dropping her head to savor the early grasses that grew as far as the eye could see.

“We’re gonna lose the sun soon Sassenach. Are ye ready to ride?”

I climbed on Brimstone like a man, a leg on both sides of her, and signaled a quick canter which put me in the lead for the race home. Jamie stayed behind me all the way to the ridge and I knew it was the protectiveness of my husband and not my superior riding ability. We let the horses walk and cool off for the last mile and rode into Fraser’s Ridge with calls from those who saw us. Calls of welcome and camaraderie that made goosebumps crawl up my spine. I felt a sense of home, as I did the first two years at Lallybroch before the uprising. My smile was obvious, and Jamie took my hand for a moment and kissed it. Jamie would destroy my beautiful rocks in the morning, and I was quite alright with that.

Small houses went up quickly for the men, followed by land clearing for their farming, and building coups for chickens and pens for goats and pigs. By the second year, our house was finished and fancy, acres were cultivated for sprouting seed in the spring, and settlers came to view the land and speak to Jamie about joining the community. It was very slow going as most of them left and never returned. Then, a Highland family spent time with us, met the freed slaves, looked at a plot of land they would call home and shook hands with their new Laird, beaming smiles at their new home. Everyone pitched in to build a home for the young couple and their two children. Faith was overwhelmed with glee seeing tiny people like her. The children were free to explore and play with sixteen sets of eyes on them throughout the day. It was a slice of heaven for them and it often took three or four buckets of water to clean the mud and grime off her before bed.

The first family seemed to break the ice in our burgeoning community and soon there were more families. Some were farmers, some were businesses. By the end of the third year, we had a blacksmith and a tanner, as well as five new families that farmed. I always wondered what I would do to fit in as I did not have any skills other than smiling in front of a camera or walking the wood. From morning until night, I was on my feet doing something crucial that would solve a problem, or tend a task that would feed us for the year to come. I dug my shovel into sprouting barely and spread it across the malting floor of our whisky room, put up tomatoes, beets, peaches, and apples, sealing them for the long winter ahead.

When new settlers came with slaves Jamie would speak to the husband about giving up ownership of his slaves before crossing the line into Fraser’s Ridge. I would watch the exhausted wife smiling as she gazed into a community that would offer her a home and a community to belong to. Eventually, the bills of sale would land in Jamie’s palm and the wagon would roll across the line into Fraser’s Ridge.

Newcomers were put up in our house and I would care for the weary and sometimes wary settlers. Newly freed female slaves had the hardest time and I took extra care to explain Fraser’s Ridge and what their new freedom meant. We built two houses for them, three women in each, and they found work with child care, and cooking, finally showing signs of happiness once the truth of their freedom settled in. There were six women that were brought to the Ridge and freed. In a matter of months, four of them fell in love and were married.

Jamie took me out, deep into the forest to teach me how to shoot the rifle and pistol. I could hardly sleep the night before, finally to be taught to defend myself. I would no longer feel fear when Jamie was away for an extended time and that meant so much to me. We made many trips, just the two of us, and the time was golden because we were alone to explore topics of conversation or take a break in the shade to tease each other or make love. It was a time to be remembered.

One autumn morning, I pulled my cloak against the cold as I returned from the whisky building. There was a package at our door, and I ran to it, excited to see what I had ordered. I cut the string and pulled the cloth open hearing my gasp at such a beautiful bible. It was large, like the family bibles I had seen at Lallybroch and I couldn’t wait to start recording the births and milestones of our family on the ridge. Tonight I will tell Jamie we will welcome another loved child to our family. He was so busy with his duties in the community I don’t think he noticed the three months without a period. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and smiled with anticipation.

28 notes · View notes