#it’s currently four in the morning
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
lads it is mostly my fault (was sick, didn't tell healthcare until it was Dire, was sentenced to bed rest for the rest of my time at camp) that I literally can't say goodbye to these 100+ people I've come to love properly before I leave. I'm not permitted to participate in any singing, dancing, communal joy, any event that's remotely fun (that's nearly word for word what they said) here at camp. and I'm leaving EARLY, am still miserably sick, and have a four hour commute back home on top of that, because there's no one available to drive. literally cried my eyes out over everything just now and am This Close to crying my eyes out againnnnn
#not to list my woes again but today was Pretty Bad#the horrors: learned that one of the girls I'm working with is the cousin of the boy whom I was so torn up over last year (lol)#received a message from the second boy I was torn up over in the spring saying: do you want to live together? (LOL)#and was hit with the two-by-four of reality today about my own Delusions and such repeatedly over the head. over and over and over LOLLLL !#HOWEVER. the joys: tea. Bible reading time. lots of prayer. laughed a lot with my coworkers.#confided in a friend whom i know can hold secrets close. listened to another friend's voice message on loop. the rain made it not too hot.#i know joy cometh in the metaphorical morning but i wanted joy to come in the form of dancing and singing and worshipping together#and being able to tell each and every person goodbye properly and with the gravity and love they each deserve#i simply!!!!! cannae take this!!!!!! and yet I WILL :'))))))))) bear it with grace#(THAT'S dramatic)#sighhhh anyhow i'm currently mentally digging a little grave for the third disappointment in love i've experienced#since breaking up with my ex boyfriend. the ground is hard my hands are tired and the earth won't budge but i WILL dig that grave#and leave that little ill-formed ill-judged ill-managed love in it#dang i'm tired in all senses of the word!#and YET. there is still a part of me that is light and buoyant and determined to make the most of things#it is so hard to be miserable when the anneish part of you never dies.........sigh#healing girl era summer '24
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fresh Air
Pinocchio x Fem!Reader
Warning: Smoking a cigarette, other than that none for the most part.
I kind of want to turn this into a series, idk yet. This may be a bit OOC but for the most part, the character is nameless as for the little mentions of her family and things, I still for the most part kept it a clean slate for the readers to make that themselves. If I do make this a series, I’ll probably give them a last name or something but as of now, it’s pretty much a blank slate so enjoy. 😅
•*•*•*•*•*•
It was late. Way too late for a lady of her status to be outside even if it was just to stand in front of the building she resided at.
But then again, those things didn’t matter anymore… not with the rogue mechanoids patrolling the streets of Krat looking for any potential human or even puppet that hadn’t been affected with whatever was turning them haywire, to ultimately slaughter. It also didn’t matter anymore considering she no longer lived under her families rule anymore. For all they knew, she was dead and despite that being a cause for concern to most, it was one of the things that felt like a grand weight being lifted off her shoulders… therefore, her status didn’t matter anymore.
She pulled her robe around herself a little more tightly for the sake of keeping warmth. Due to the fires that were beginning to spread around the already apocalyptic city, the winds had picked up, causing for it all to appear slightly foggy, and in all honesty hard to breath… which made for what she was about to do seem stupid.
But one thing was for certain and that was that Krat was now in an apocalyptic state and even if the puppets were to one day just stop their tumultuous assault against everything within their line of vison, it would take years before Krat could be in a state of repair�� and years before it would be fully repaired.
She reached into her robe pocket, keeping her head up and alert as she looked around once more, wearily taking a few hesitant steps away from the door. While it had only been a few days since her arrival to the hotel, she felt as if she was trapped which to her was slightly ironic because before she had arrived, she had told herself if there were people there who could help her, she’d never leave the building for the sake of her life.
To get to the hotel had been a challenging and a perilous journey itself. She had been on her way back to the station, not willing that was or sure but having only been in Krat because she thought she’d be able to hide out there until her family got bored with looking for her…
She let out a frustrated huff, as she quickly moved to check her other pocket, and to both her satisfaction and annoyance, she finally grasped the thing she had been looking for… the box of cigarettes.
Straightening herself as she hesitantly glanced down the bridge and around her once more, making sure she was indeed alone. Her attention fell back to the little box. She had grabbed it off a corpse when she had been running towards the hotel… she guessed it had been a simple cream white color before it had been splattered with blood.
It felt wrong to grab it off a dead man’s body, but then again it wasn’t like he would be using them. She for one, definitely did not them nor have any true need for them considering she had never smoked before in her life. Yet she did it… and she despite the overwhelming feeling of regret having to do with her actions, she felt a peculiar sense of excitement by it due to the fact if her family could see her, they’d surely throw a fit at catching her smoking.
She carefully slid the little box from the bloodied sleeve that held its contents, before pulling one of the carefully hand rolled pieces out. Quickly, she placed it between her lips before pocketing the box and shoving it back in her robe pocket and finding her matches.
Speaking of her family….
She came from a wealthy one. One with lots of influence on those within in London and neighboring countries, yet no one would’ve guessed considering she never had her debut into society the proper way due to the fact she had ran away. She knew what would come of the day… Her mother had wanted to throw a debutante ball and hold it at their manor, like they had done for her sister and cousins, and so on.
While from the outside, it seemed like a grand affair, some girls who were the stars of their balls and those they attended, loved it and looked forward to them, she knew it was just an excuse for her parents to go window shopping for a husband for her. The very thing she did not want.
So, she waited a week before the event, the night of her escape she had changed into one of the puppet servants clothing and promptly ran away. She had been fifteen then… and she had been very ill-prepared for how the world outside of first class society really was and yet, she wouldn’t trade it for nothing in the world because at least she had one thing her parents seemed to have not wanted her to have at all, and that was free will to live her life according.
Of course, her family wasn’t just going to allow her to leave on her own terms. Over the years she had narrowly escaped men who had chased after her, no doubt privately hired by her father who promised them wealth and money to find her. Three men in which, continued their pursuit of finding and bringing her back to her father alive and in one piece for the award they were no doubt expecting from the man.
And they would’ve succeeded this time too, if not for the puppets at the station going haywire and attacking the men who were all but trying to drag her in the train and those around her…
Feeling her hand grasp the small box of matches, she quickly pulled it out, her head whipping around to ensure her safety once more before she looked down, bringing the now lit match that she had repeatedly hit against the striker until it was ignited.
Quickly she brought the end of her cigarette to it before shaking the match out, and taking a shaky inhale. While she had never smoked before, she had been told if she ever tried, to inhale with her mouth first before fully inhaling with her lungs to avoid the embarrassment of hacking up said lungs. She pushed the smoke out through her nose, making an audible “Oh.” Sound before, she brought the cigarette away from her mouth as she hesitantly looked across the bridge, her face fixing on the figure she hadn’t noticed before.
She froze for what felt like minutes before she slowly made her way to the hotel door. However, she got the need to look back once more, in which she did, and luckily it wasn’t a puppet like she had assumed… it was him.
He was halfway across the bridge now, his eyes fixed on her. He wore a simple chemise top that had a loose frill collar, and simple black breeches with his flat shoes and socks. A stark contrast from the uniform she was use to seeing him in…She suddenly became aware of what she had on, as the skirt of her chemise night dress and train of her robe blew slightly in the harsh wind, again reminding her that she shouldn’t have been out. If not for the fact that by societal standards, she was a woman, it was the fact that she was dressed indecently especially considering she was alone.
She pulled the silk robe a little bit tighter around her chest area, looking down to make sure it was still secured in place by the silk belt of the robe before she hesitantly stepped away from the door as he got closer.
“It’s late. You could’ve smoked through the window.” His voice was surprisingly deep yet it wasn’t so guttural, and held a softness to it. It was both pleasing yet odd coming from him considering his features were somewhat soft. Despite this, he didn’t sound particularly upset or worried about what she was doing. More so stating the situation, and a solution that would’ve been better than her coming outside.
She sighed softly, exhaling the smoke as she turned to look behind him and towards her right. “Yes, it is and I could’ve but I needed some time outside of the hotel… I know the air isn’t particularly fresh out here, but it’s nice to be outside.” She said, her eyes finding his to search his expression.
He tilted his chin down slightly keeping his eyes on her as his eyebrows furrowed in an expression that seemed to be questioning her reasons.
“Nice to be outside… in these conditions.” He turned his body slightly to look at the scene beyond the destroyed building that stood closer to the hotel as his eyes shifted from one collapsing building to the few giant clouds of black smoke rising in the air from fires that brewed.
She rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly as she took another drag of the cigarette, now feeling a little more comfortable to inhale it. “As thankful as I am for Antonia’s benevolence and allowing me to stay under her roof for the time being, staying inside for too long can be a bit stuffy. No matter how many windows you open.” She said, watching as he turned to look back at her, his eyebrow raised slightly in a questioning matter while his gaze seemed to hold a look of doubt.
“Besides, it’s not like we can really have many windows open… while it does seem like the puppets tend to ignore the inside of the buildings, if they catch wind of seeing anything within, they’ll do what they usually do.” She says frowning. When she had arrived to the hotel, she had felt safe enough to relax and be as loud as she wanted due to the fact she was staying in the highest part of the hotel… that’s until Antonia informed her that some of the puppets were climbing.
“How attentive. You’re observant enough to know that if they think they can sense humans within the building, they’ll tear it down in a means to get to us. Yet it’s alright to stand outside and smoke because you’re in need of fresh air?” At this, she narrowed her eyes at him slightly before rolling them watching as a gentle grin found it’s way on his lips.
“We haven’t been formally introduced. My name’s Pinocchio.” At this, her exspression shifted to one of curiosity. “Like the fairytale?” He nodded before holding his hand out for her to shake, an action in which she carefully repeated as they became familiar with one another.
“(Y/n).” She said, a little to stiffly for her liking but hoping it was believable. She had been using the false name for years after she had ran away, yet it never felt right coming from her lips.
She didn’t miss how the corner of his mouth slowly withdrew, his eyebrow raising more as a smirk found its way to his face. “Lovely name. I haven’t met anyone with a name like yet.” She smiled, withdrawing her hand from his as he did as well.
She had seen the man walking around the hotel every now and then, but she had never interacted with him due to the fact he seemed to only really come inside the hotel to maybe get supplies and talk to Eugenia, Antonia, and the man who resided in the study.
And almost immediately, he’d leave afterwards. She had never seen him eat or drink anything, which in turn made her believe he ate when she was either in her room considering the fact it’s where she mainly stayed now unless she was speaking with Eugenia, the girl who ran the weapons shop she had became friendly with.
After a moment of silence and looking at one another, he turned to face the bridge to look at the scene in-front of them.
“You shouldn’t stay out too long. They rarely come up here, but every now and then there’s two or three that are sauntering infront of the door when I come or am exiting.” At this, her face fell from the relaxed, almost pleasant look to one of shock. Not really by the fact that they would come close to the hotel, that much she assumed but she hadn’t even bothered to check the windows before she so much as opened the doors.
He glanced at her from the side before smiling gently, turning back towards the doors as he opened one. Before he entered however, he looked over to her, clearing sensing her sudden unease. “Are you coming inside too or, do you wish to enjoy the outside air more?” He asked. Again, his tone was gentle yet you could see an almost teasing look in his eye as she stood there waiting for his response.
She didn’t hesitate however. Quickly, she knelt down, quickly stubbing the cigarette out as her other hand held her robe together tightly to keep modest before she stood up, and quickly went inside. Nodding at Pinocchio who averted his eyes to the ground to watch his step, once she was inside as he moved to follow, closing the door behind him.
#pinocchio x reader#lies of p#lies of p x reader#made him a little sassy lol#kadajsbitchlol#not proofread#I’ll edit it later to fix any typos lol#currently is four in the morning
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
Various portrait sketches
#my art#strawberridraws#sketch#sketchbook#ballpoint stic pen my beloved#had to watch a 1h 40m play for class and just. doodled them the whole time#I love looking up ‘candid photography’ on Pinterest; u get a lot of interesting and more natural poses#and more variety than like. generic model number four etc#by the red page I was losing steam tho#it was like 1 in the morning sdfghjjkl#scheduling this post for 4:20 because I think it’s funny#currently writing at one in the morning lol
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sentient Wayne Manor au in my head i love you
#currently thinking about jason post-resurrection trying to enter the house again#only to find that the unlocked perfectly functional door always gets stuck when he tries to open it#he always has to be let in by somebody else#the Manor knows that there is something Wrong with him. he is different.#also the Manor changing its layout whenever it feels the need#young bruce running late for school in the morning and suddenly there's a single hallway between his bedroom and the front door#teenage bruce leaving for training and he's walked past the same door four times already because the Manor won't let him leave#the Manor being there to protect Bruce. it will extend the protection to his kids but first and foremost it will always choose bruce#like when youre a kid and your parent is in a bad mood and suddenly the whole house feels colder and smaller#or when you need to be so quiet but it seems like every floorboard is creaky and all the hinges on the doors need replacing#this is all in the tags because i love Sentient Manor and i have so many thoughts about it but absolutely none of them are coherent#bruce wayne#batman
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
just sent a message to my old bosses abt how i can’t come back :( i mean i don’t know if i would’ve been able to because im pushing 2.5 yrs on this leave of absence (went insane got sick went insaner) but i always kind of hoped in the back of my mind that i could come back but like. id be sooo bad at it it would check so many of my ocd boxes and i dont want to be a shitty coworker to people i really like!!! still. i’m pretty sad bc i miss those exact people
#ARGH#i don’t know if the message was necessary but i didn’t want to leave it open-ended if i do actually get this job like i feel like that’d be#rude#also thank god for the scheduling feature because i always write out messages just a Little too early in the morning#todays not so bad usually it’s 4am#and it’s illegal to text your grandma at four am. or your old bosses i guess#or your current boss?#just don’t do it
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
never be a manager, kids
#currently overstimulated from a baby screaming in the dining room#trying to figure out a new schedule that works with everyones availability#one of which someone told me verbally would be completely different and much more manageable than what was actually submitted#sent six emails before 7 this morning#my boss gave me four extra tasks to do today#I'm only scheduled another three hours today and it's been busy customer wise so this should be fun#don't mind me#but also seriously avoid management positions#especially for only $17/hour#“why dont you have a car? you could do more events”#oh do more for the same pay? because i can barely afford rent 😀
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
today should be a t break day
bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts
but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain
so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either
#text post#no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning#but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry#and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even'#she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year#and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down#and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings#which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit#doesn't fix it but at least i know.#the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me#but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's.#i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything????#why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time#there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is#I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise#it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like#whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
had to edit because the quality got screwed :/
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#homestuck^2#terezi pyrope#homestuck terezi#homestuck art#please ignore how lazy the background is or I will cry#I spent this morning screaming about the new update#is this how homestuck fans currently in nursing homes felt during the first update after the gigapause#im like four years old so I wouldn’t know#tumblr buttfucked the quality so hard im screaming#spideypawz
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#current status: in the car#going on a family vacation#to denmark#but also my dad has no impulse comtrol and he bought tickets to ac/dc#so we went yesterday#and then got stuck in the parking lot for 5 hours LOL#seriously#we left during the last song in a hirry#then wandered around the parking lot for 10 minutes trying to find our car in the dark#btw there were 120K people (it was a LOT of cars)#then we found it#left our parking space by about 5m#... and then didn't move again for the next 4 hours :D#we moved the car at 23:20#and then didn't move again till 3:12 or so#THAT'S FOUR HOURS#we expected it to be slow but we expected to move#like#at least 20 metres in those 4 hours XD#the last hour in the parking lot we were actually moving so overall 5 hours in the parking lot#we got home at 5:15 im the morning#slept till early afternoom#and then woke up washed my hair packed and back into the car to go to denmark#currently passing through prague#like. directly through the city#so this will take a while yet#as in we are driving all thw way to the top of germany (passing through dresden and berlin) and then there on a ship to sweden and then#by car the rest of the way to denmark#longest journey to vacation so far for me was 15 hours in the car to pompei but this will be closer to 20 overall
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyway I don't think Zack angels of death has sex
#random thoughts#angels of death#sorry x reader crowd#he gives off like. jacking off at four in the morning to take the edge off before you crash energy#also he has canonically eaten fruit loops in soda okay i don't think he's into degregation you are NOT his sex kitten#not only do i think he will not have sex i think he has never had sex before in his life because like. when the fuck would he have had sex#he got burnt crispy at like eight and subsequently orphaned. he's like twenty two. when did he have the time#also he has body image issues out the wazoo he is NOT letting anyone see him naked#also where the fuck is he getting all those bandaids from. is he banned from every cvs in a fifty mile radius of his current location#if asked if he's had sex he would scoff and say yes (he is lying)#if asked how many times he would squint into the middle distance and say ' . . . a bunch of times.'#but it's more likely he'd get really pissy about it
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
I spent 4 solid hours working on it but finally, the entire bedroom floor has been cleared and thoroughly vacuumed! Even the closet floor with stuff spilling out has been cleared enough that I can finally close the doors again! Length of time I have been putting this off: maybe a year idk.
#'walk through maintenance inspection ahead of city required inspections' will really put the fear of god into ya#(first time it has happened since we moved in 3.5 years ago) but we have made good progress!#we have had 8 days since the notice and have 9 remaining to get in decent shape#we have both general floor clearing and some genuine deep cleaning in the kitchen and bathroom to do so it's been...fun#especially when both of us are working full time and I am currently on a project so short I can't take off even one day#(short but so tiring that I literally crawled into bed by 6 four out of 5 nights this week and did not get up til morning)#our reward when all of this is freaking done is we get a new bed and mattress. hate to invest in both at once but#we have been sleeping in a size Full bed on a mattress that is over 20 years old and it has Taken Its Toll
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello my lovely dear 🥰
#moot ask#lovely ask#im currently writing up the info page for the second of the four kids#i need to make an official one for zeus too...#hm.#hm. much to think about#anyway#good morning to you as well 🥰#convo posts
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Does anyone know if there’s an (easy because I am not smart in this regard) way to hack older pokémon games’ shiny odds? I’d like to bring everything down to 4096 because 8192 is just impossible to me but I haven’t been able to find cias/the ds file type i forget the name of that have adjusted odds. I know it’s possible to hack installed cias but. I’m a little stupid and scared when it comes to this stuff
#and if yes follow up question: would I be able to do it to my legit vc copy of silver or am I gonna have to ditch that for a cia too?#zoracontent#3ds homebrew#3ds hacking#sorry to maintag I just would like answers#also not calling myself stupid in this regard to be self deprecating or something I genuinely am not smart at this stuff. it took four#tries for me to install a angle cia because I couldn’t figure out where to download it to lmao. I have a lot to learn#if specific games would help: I currently have red yellow and crystal (and vc silver if that’s possible). I’m planning on getting sapphire#emerald leaf green diamond platinum soul silver black and white 2 in the morning.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
am sleeping at my friend's place and the bed is so creaky ajsjjdjsjsj i hope my friend in the room with me doesn't murder me
#it's so cool bc she's currently living alone in this four people apartment so we have one bed each which is SUPER nice#and there's TWO bathrooms omg so tmrw morning it's gonna be easier n we don't have to make turns to use the toilet at 4 am you know
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#periodical life updates#HUH. OKAY. MANY THINGS OF NOTE. things im not excited for first!!#im going to go into coding now because my parents want me to so whatever i guess!! i think coding is cool anyway and im willing to learn#its such a vague job. my sister recommends front end web development. i still dont know. i guess i'll look into it. gwuah.#registered for classes and now im just waiting for them to start. i dont know if i can do four classes. ive tried and failed before.#but im grown now. classes should be simple. i should be fine. i have to finish this soon.#im going to the dentists soon and as much as i hate toothaches i HATE THE DENTISTS i hate them im so scared of them u-u <33#i probably need a lot of fillings and sht and im not hype about it. i hate the dentists but i know my teeth will hurt bad so i will go ughh#im tired and i need to cook spaghetti soon and life is currently so up in the air right now. i have things i want to queue but everytime i#go look at my drafts i just close the tab again guhhh. okay lets talk about other things now.#changed my profile pic!! its so cute i love my orange pattern shirt <3 daily eca is posted and that ones cute too <3#im excited for the pjsk pop in my heart event; ive been waiting for a four star emu for so long and nicori smile survey is a fun song <3#the valentines day one has such a cute emu too and the white day event has a knight tsukasa which i ADORE <3 knights are so my aesthetic#got to say good morning to darling and eros today <33 might make an oc for a friend on twitter's oc storyline which is fun <3#finished some things up yesterday that i dont have to deal with anymore.#im trying. im trying really hard. we'll get there eventually. *sighs*#napping now maybe. i love you <3
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
nine people you'd like to know better
tagged by @whitenikes and @songsandswords!! thanks y’all 🥰
last listened to: technically the answer is that i was blasting PUP at work today, but i’m gonna say young the giant/declan mckenna/noah kahan/milky chance because i just got to see all of them in concert this past week!!
currently watching: drag race españa (i still need to watch the finale) and hopefully season 2 of the bear soon, although i have very little time for tv
currently reading: …not as much as i’d like to 😅 mostly related to coursework/work/applications but i do have some of the amazon first reads downloaded and about a million fics in my inbox i need to work through
current obsession: i mean. this is literally my hockey blog. however, that’s the easy way out, so i’m gonna say meijers $5 sushi (have made it so that i always go grocery shopping on wednesdays to get it)
tagging anyone who hasn’t participated yet but wants to!!! as always i’m late to the party and most of y’all have done it already
#the desire to participate vs the urge to be unknowable: FIGHT#also i love reading other people’s & stealing recs off of theirs (case in point the fandom book someone rec’d i might pick up) so i gotta#genuinely debated putting ‘work’ as my current obsession because i’m working 8 hour days 7 days a week but i am doing it to myself so.#and i love what i do! i need to do this! i just wish i also wasn’t doing applications on top of it that’s really what’s been hard#does it also help that i think i spent about 8 hours awake in my apartment over the span of four days last weekend? probably not#the sad answer to currently reading is my email :/ and it’s not even fun emails it’s administrative emails for match sec & work#liv in the replies#i have a better obsession i swear. however it’s 11:30 & i slept through my alarm this morning & also i still need to make my lunch#but i want to post proof of life so i will be back for REAL tomorrow to post unhinged things
3 notes
·
View notes