#it’s crazy seeing my thoughts from 3 years ago i don’t even remember writing this

[sunnyyflowerrs]

whoever you are to me

oh god so for those of u who didn’t know i recently came back to tumblr after not being here for like 3 years and i found some drafts from my miraculous ladybug days that i wanted to post because they’re kinda cute … if you’re here for me rambling about anime then pls ignore them lol but i thought i should share them as me from 3 years ago would have wanted so here is a fic idea i never executed that happened right after gang of secrets (2021)

———————-

i can’t stop thinking about this fic idea so im going to brain dump it here. 

- marinette and adrien are basically as they are right now (meaning right after gang of secrets) 

- as we know with that art scene from kagami, adrien isnt really sure who he is. he thinks his true self is cat noir, but we know its actually somewhere in between shy adrien and his boisterous superhero persona.

- marinette at this point is just trying to get over adrien, after her relationship with luka. alya tries to encourage her to pursue chat noir, but marinette says that she can’t because they are superheroes

- cue ms. bustier being Master Matchmaker (tm) and assigns a partner project to get to know one another better, where you get assigned to someone and you have to do a report on who they are and what they are like 

- of course, our two idiots in love are paired with each other, and they have to do good because they have been behind in assignments since shadowmoth started showing up and being as terrible as possible .

- marinette is super assured in who she is. she’s marinette, she loves design, pink, macaroons, and her parents, so her report is finished fairly quickly

- but when they sit down to do adrien’s report, he can barely name his favorite color, much less what he likes to do or what he wants to do when he is older. he ends up oversharing a bit, and marinette begins to see adriens life as he sees it: lost and lonely

- this completely shatters adrien’s pedestal in marinettes eyes - she realizes how wrong her paradigm of his life had been

- resolving to be the ultimate friend (because she totally doesnt have feelings for him, no way) , marinette works super hard on “Project Adrien” so they meet every week and just talk about who he is, what does he want to do in life and stuff like that, so that they can get a great grade on the project, of course. 

- and just like that she starts to actually fall in love with the boy who laughed in the rain that day, not the model boy she had created in her own head 

- in turn, adrien grows closer to marinette and sees the spitfire confident takes no bullshit marinette that she had always been to shy to be around him. yeah buddy she may not be just a friend..... 

- cue mounds of adrienette fluff as they both slowly fall in love with each other and realize that there is more to the other than what they see... 

[fanficmanic]

I have a confession to make.

I only started watching 911 a few months ago, after season 7 had ended. I was going through some rough time (health wise), and I needed something to take my mind off it.

I honestly wasn’t looking for anything serious. I just needed a show that doesn’t require me thinking about it too much.

I remember going over Netflix and Amazon Prime, and nothing had caught my attention. When I went on Disney+, I found that I had already watched the first 2 episodes of the show but, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember that I did or when I did.

I thought that if 2 episodes didn’t catch my attention, then it probably won’t, but I had reached a point where I didn’t care as long as it would numb my mind.

I didn’t realize how wrong I would be.

I gotta admit, season 1 wasn’t my favorite, but I powered through because I wanted to see where the show would go. Then I started with season 2, and boy oh boy was I hooked.

By the middle of season 3 I realized that yes, this show has taken my mind off my personal issues, but also, this show will be the one that makes me write again after not having written any fanfiction for over 7 years.

The last show I was obsessed with to this level was True Blood. I followed it religiously, wrote fanfiction, got into shipping wars. I even found a way to watch it same time as the US (those who don’t live there know what I mean) - which was 4 am in the morning where I lived at the time.

With the way True Blood ended (IYKYK), I promised myself that I would never get attached to another show that way again. I watched Game of Throne, which I loved and followed but not to that level of obsession. I watched some other shows and movies that I can’t even remember, which alone says what kind of impact they had on me.

Now, here I am, waiting for each episode like crazy, following the actor’s IG accounts and everything they post, following different accounts on Tumblr, IG, and TikTok for videos and edits, and filling most (all) of my free time reading amazing and wonderful fanfiction. I sometimes even have to take a moment to think about scenes if they happened in the show or if I read it in a story.

I’ve published 3 stories on AO3. I also have one story that I’ve written 4 chapters of so far, 5 stories that I’ve roughly outlined, and 1 that I just have an idea for.

The issue is, when I was obsessing over vampires and werewolves who lived in Bon Temps, HBO aired the show between June and August. Meaning, there was no break over the holidays, and the show didn’t go on hiatus.

This is the first time that I have to go through a fall hiatus, and I have so many mixed feelings about it.

On the one hand, I’m super excited about all the fanfiction that will come out between now and March 2025 – some will be speculation after the fall finale, some not so much, but regardless, it will all be great.

On the other hand, how am I supposed to wait 3 full months to see what will happen to my favorite characters?

Anyway... I apologize for the long post, but I just wanted to vent.

Here's a picture of our favorite fire fam BTS from this weeks’ episode to make up for it.

[itsrainingpussywillows]

TEEF

Mikey Madison x fem!reader

- Inspo: Sophie Thatchers bird scooter accident, my own tweet, and an old 1D imagine

- NOTE: guys i am NOT a writer in any way i literally wrote this on my toilet when i just got inspired while reading Jake Paul wattpad fics , i dunno how to use tumblr i suck at this LMFAOOO also i rode on a bird scooter once 2 years ago so im #QUALIFIED to write this

I wake up from my slumber as the bright sun-rays peek through my blijds. I turn over to my right side my girlfriend Mikey Madison is still asleep resting peacefully. I admire her for a few seconds more and kiss her forehead. “G’morning” she says GAWD she looks even more beautiful in the morning. “C’mon baby we have to get up and get ready. Did you forget about what I have planned for today??” I ask with a chuckle “‘Course not I js need a couple more minutes.” she mumbles less than 30 minutes later we are already out of the door

Today was meant to be a fun filled day. We were going to go get breakfast at Dutch Bros and then we were going to go drive downtown and ride those little bird scooters but absolutely positively nothing could’ve prepared me for what was going to transpire later today.

“ hi can I get one large picture-perfect and one large chai latte?” Mikey was ordering, my social anxiety just could NOT handle that. once we got to the window, we paid and they gave us two pink straws. I squealed with excitement as pink is my favorite color and also they thought we were pretty #STRAWCODEEE am I right?

The whole rest of the car ride was full of singing, dancing, laughs, and overall just two crazy women hyped up on caffeine

we drove around for a bit more when we parked Mikey and I got out and begin to walk over to the nearest Bird scooters. Mikey pressed a couple of buttons on her phone, so did I and just like that we were all set to ride our scooters “Y/n COME ONNNN” Mikey said as she started ZOOMING on that damn thang.

We had been riding for about 30 minutes down the street until we reached a crosswalk. “ Wanna race?!” Mikey yelled from the other side of the street “ YEAH” I yelled back, It wouldn’t be too long before the crosswalk said that it was OK for us to go. “ ON THREE “ She yelled and began counting down

“1..2..3!”

we started speeding down the hill. I was in the lead we were both giggling and laughing until i was launched forwards. My wheel had gotten stuck on a small rock and launched me face first right on the cold hard concrete. everything from this was a blur I just remember seeing a bit of red and hearing mikey scream.

beep.. beeep .. beeeeeeeep

my eyes flutter I woke up in a bright hospital room “Y/n ypure awake!!” Mikey exclaimed “Oh my God I thought I would never see you again!” she said “What do you mean?” i asked when my doctor, Dr. Paul as in doctor. JAKE Paul came in the room to explain. “ well girl you had a Bird scooter accident. Also you lost all your teeth so you’re gonna have to get a teeth transplant surgery sorry!” he explains “What i losth all my teef?????!”

“ i’m afraid so, do you have anybody in mind that would be willing to give you their teeth? If not, we can just get you veneers, but that’d be kind of hard. You know you lost all your teeth.” I took a moment to think since I didnt want my lovely beautiful sexy gorgeous girlfriend Mikey Madison to give up her precious teeth “ no I don’t hav anybody who I fink would be willing to give me their teef” “Well honey it’s settled. Looks like it’s time for you to get some veneers!” he exclaimed in a southern accent before pulling out a huge needle. “W-what isth that?” I stuttered

“Horse tranquilizer!” he said excitedly and before i could interject he injected it into my arm and I was out cold. in what felt like barely a minute I woke up to my girlfriend standing over me. “Mikey I’m Alive!” i scream “Who do you fink gave you your teef”, she says smiling and that’s when I finally get a good look at her mouth

all of her beautiful pearly white teeth were gone and apparently inside of my mouth “But Mikey y-you cant! let me give you back your teeth. I don’t need them besides how am I supposed to kiss you? You have no teeth.” i stated frantically. “Isth okay y/n, you needed them more” she says hugging me gently

“But-“ “Shhhhhhhhh” she interrupted me “We’ll find a way to get me more teef, i promisth”

[aleksa-sims]

Hi!

First off, I LOVE your story. You’re so strong and every obstacle you over came made you into the beautiful person you are.

Second, I have a question, you don’t have to answer .. but does writing about your life eve trigger old emotions or make you sad during the harder times? I just always wonder how a writer feels when they’re writing their stories esp. when it’s a personal one.

I adore you. 🤍

Hey, friend! 🤗

Thank you sm! This is so sweet! 🤧 💜💜💜 and I apologize for my "long" absence. This week school started and well, was a bit hectic and stressful.

And of course, I’ll answer your question. You can ask me anything!

To your question. When I started with that Simself thing (2 or 3 years ago), I didn’t think anything serious about it. It was just some kind of... gameplay fun?

I remember having Sandra’s Simself in my library. Seeing her Simself made me so sad. I came up with the idea to tell her/our story. By now, most of you few, who still follow my story after all this time, know, that Sandra is no longer with us. 😞 Sandra was a part of my life. We were together all the time. But somehow I couldn’t understand certain things Sandra did or experienced. I'm simply not her! But I will tell what happend to S.! Soon. I just have to.

And the more I started to tell about myself, my family & Sandra, the more... complex it became. And I remember how unpopular Nico was at the beginning.🤭 A nice person here, was even worried about me and my little son. 😬 She knew I was still with him. But I wasn't offended or upset. I understand, some topics are serious and I certainly have often expressed myself incorrectly. My English was totally shitty, bad & embarrassing. 😶‍🌫️🤦‍♀️

Over time, however, I decided to write about my addiction. This was hard! I was ashamed and totally nervous when I first posted it. But I got a very nice message from another Simblr here. She had the same issue and we even become friends. But unfortunately, she is no longer active here on Tumblr. Idk what happend to her? ☹️ Maybe some of you know who I mean?...

Back to the topic: As for my addiction, I noticed that I can write about it without getting/having this ....craving for that drug. I totally forgot after almost 7 years, how it even feels to be high. And do not intend to do this shit ever again!

As for my feelings and emotions, yea, I cried when I told certain things. It made me sad, but I knew the future and this fact made it possible for me, to continue. That I could write about Nico's & my break-up, I only succeeded, because I knew this wasn't our end. He was right next to me, in the room next door, while I was writing about it.

As for Daniel, the whole thing looks totally different. When I started to write about this... triangle thing between Philip, Nico and me, I didn’t want to tell/write about Daniel a little later in the future. I was afraid I’d be considered crazy. I mean, this is insane and also embarrassing, what I have experienced and done with those 3 men. I thought when I started telling you about Daniel and that I even got married to him, nobody would take me seriously anymore. How can I fall in love with 3 different men, in just one damn year? You know? But when I played with Daniel’s Simself, I realized I couldn’t do this to him! 😭 I felt so bad, that I decided to just tell the truth. Even if people don’t take me seriously afterwards or think I’m a lunatic, hidding the truth or changing reality, is just weak and cowardly. Also why I wasn't sure, if I should tell about Daniel is, I was afraid of the feelings I still had for him. I knew, once I remember Daniel and the time with him... my life, my reality, will become complicated. But it was too late anyway. Daniel was already in my mind and heart, before I mentioned him here. And actually last year, I went through a very though time. I was depressed. It was hard for me to write about my life. I just didn’t see any hope. Mainly, because of my illness. My leukemia levels have worsened. As it looked, I had to take a new drug which has very serious side effects. So I got panic attacks again and was afraid to leave our home. The only task I could do alone was to pick up my son from kindergarten. I couldn’t do anything outside our four walls by myself without help, without Nico or someone else by my side. I was just scared...

I decided to continue my story. I thought, if I can do that, I can continue IRL too! The chapter Daniel went on forever. 🥵😔I noticed that I can’t let go of Daniel, neither in Sims nor in my reality. I just wanted to move on and finally close Daniel's & my chapter. But it was hard. IRL I started to withdraw. I didn’t let anyone get to me. All the feelings and emotions that have been triggered by writing my story have made something clear to me. I had to see Daniel! And I swear, seeing him and having him with me, helped me get out of my depression. The darkness that surrounded me faded, thanks to him. ❤️

So yes, writing about my life definitely brought up emotions in me and also opened up old wounds. But some wounds that I thought would never heal, are gone. Just because I told and wrote about it, I was able to reflect on some experiences and conclude with them. Especially my relationship with Nico has become more stable.❤️

Anyway, telling my story taught me one thing! After every difficult, hard life phase, follows a good one. Last year was hell, but I managed to take care of myself and my health. And I also got good news about my illness last month. My leukemia levels stabilized and I didn’t have to change my medication. Even if everything seems hopeless, small miracles can happen. And so that these little miracles don’t fall into oblivion, I write about them. Certainly not perfect and flawless. I am still learning. And I lost a lot of time last year, because I wrote and posted so irregularly, but I hope that I will get better in the future and my posts will be shorter again. 😬

Thank you sm for this ask. You also inspired me to improve my storytelling skills, reading your stories helped me a lot and I love Delilah. I’m always excited when I click on your posts to catch up on Deli’s life.💜🤗

[tired-biscuit]

i've just seen your posts on dash biscuit and its so sad you're feeling like that :( If i'm to tell you the honest truth biscuit, I don't remember how I found your account but i remember being so intrigued and hooked immediately - I went on to read your War General Kiba (to somewhat expose myself.. I am War General Kiba anon from around a month ago) bc your writing itched my brain so fuckin good !!

It makes me so sad that uni started recently for me and I have been so caught up I haven't gotten around to reblogging war general kiba because I haven't gotten the moment to write my thoughts regarding those:( they're sitting in my drafts. I decided I would read every single one of your fics a month ago (unfortunately I haven't been able to yet) - including the naruto thirst you elaborated on for me, and though I haven't gotten time to read it, THANK YOU SO MUCH BISCUIT for taking your time out to do that :( <3

You deserve every single one of those likes , but you deserve them alongside an equal amount of reblogs :/ i sincerely hope that these followers and whatnot pull their heads out of their ass and start reblogging - because if they don't, they're not going to have anything to read. bc biscuit you are such an amazing and talented writer, and it always blows my mind we get to read your masterpieces for free. FOR FREE!!!! that is so crazy like, this is stuff that could get you MILLIONS and we have the blessing from you to type a few words onto our screens and read it! like WOW thank you so much <3 🍁 anon

oh my gosh, you’re so sweet; imma start sobbing!

listen, you don’t have to apologize for not being able to read my fics; i get it, life happens and we get busy as people and fanfiction definitely is NOT everything there is to life! so please don’t say sorry for that because there is literally no need for it, like i said. YOU’RE GOOD!

it just grinds my gears that i’m not allowed to vent on here about this particular topic because some people will INSTANTLY jump the wagon to call me ungrateful. i get it, i get notes, but people usually don’t understand that likes don’t mean shit on here and that the majority of those notes are just that: likes. sure, i get a little notif that someone liked my story, but i have no clue what they thought about it based from that heart. i have no clue if they’ve even actually read it. to make matters even worse, it makes the post just straight up fucking die.

i spend hours and hours and hours writing, editing, rereading, tweaking the same story for ages. i could just not post it and keep it to myself, sure, but i enjoy interacting with my moots and my followers in general, and giving people that share my interest in the same characters something to read about, because let’s be real; kiba is niche af. i like feeding the kiba girlies because i barely had anything to eat a couple years back when it comes to him and i’ve worked my fucking ass off for those notes over the years, SO OF COURSE I APPRECIATE THEM, OK?

this debate, or whatever you wanna call it, has been circling around here for ages and it’s useless at this point, i think... writers, artists, creators of all sorts say “please say thank you for my creation that i made for YOU after you’ve asked, i beg” and people call us ungrateful or stuck up or whatever the fuck. i mean, do people seriously think i enjoy self-reblogging all the time and begging for interaction like that robin hood meme with the cup???????? no, i do it because it is the only way people will see my work before it disappears into the ether once again, ffs!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS, i will write a drabble for your war general!kiba ask when i have the time, i promise! i just want to actually make it good and write like a proper story instead of just my thoughts because he is very dear to me and i am a perfectionist when it comes to my royalty AU and it makes me overthink and just… yeah! he has been sitting in the back of my head, clanking his heavy weapons impatiently, lmao.

I LOVE YOU!

[dangan-kagura]

Rant: I really hate the 2B jokes surrounding characters like Kirumi. Not just her, but also characters like Celestia, Mukuro, Keebo, and perhaps even Peko and Maki. I’m not gonna get into too much detail as to why I don’t like Nier, but let’s just say I failed to see the big deal about that game. Not only am I annoyed with its popularity, but I’m also annoyed with the memes surrounding it. The meme being that you take a character from a different series and dress them up as 2B. It’s become so obnoxious for me that I have no reason to take interest in that game because 2B just looks like a freak and her popularity makes my blood boil.

The irony of it all, is that not only am I not into the gothic subculture, but this meme seems to have an effect on characters who just so happen to be my favorite characters. These are just some examples, Aigis (Persona 3) Iroha (Samurai Shodown) Neptune (Neptunia) possibly Hikage (Senran Kagura) and Angel (King of Fighters). The list goes on and on but I’ll leave it with just these. The point is, I love these characters and yet, Nier is super overrated, so this meme is ruining these characters and how I feel about them, and I don’t want the same thing to happen with the Danganronpa cast.

I’m gonna be honest, when I first met Kirumi, 2B wasn’t what came to mind because I didn’t want to project that meme onto her. Instead, the Touhou maid Sakuya Izayoi is what came to mind. When I thought about it at the time, it felt like Kirumi had all the same qualities as Sakuya. I never saw Kirumi as this gothic, obedient, robot girl with a fucking blindfold, I saw Kirumi for her beauty, elegance, perfection, knowledge, and kindness. Perfect and Elegant Maid is Sakuya’s title in PoFV, so I wanted to think that Kirumi was on par with how perfect Sakuya is and the two of them would make a great match. The sad part about it is that I’ve never met anyone in the Danganronpa fandom who is also a Touhou fan, not to mention, compared to how underrated Kirumi is, Sakuya is a fan favorite in the Touhou fandom. In my experience, I’ve never seen anyone in the Touhou fandom pull this meme off on Sakuya, and frankly, I don’t want to see her like that.

I’m probably a hypocrite for having Kirumi as a favorite Danganronpa character despite the fact that I don’t like Nier. Is it wrong for me to like Kirumi? Should I let her go? No! I literally cried when I saw Kirumi die, and I’ll cry again if I watch her die again. But why do I feel that way? Why would I cry over her death if someone is gonna dress her up as a character I hate from a series I’m not into? Do I think Kirumi deserves better and that she shouldn’t be treated so badly? Kirumi is a comfort character for me because I love her kindness and perfection. If I let her go, people are gonna forget about her due to her death and I don’t want to forget about her. Crazy thing is, watching Kirumi die would be a way to counterbalance this meme, but is that really a good way to deal with it?

If you’ve read my blog on why I don’t like Ibuki, I wrote that I’m always anxious around her because I hate her music. Funny thing is, it’s the same thing with Kirumi. Every time I try to search for fanart or other things in the Danganronpa fandom involving Kirumi, I get the same anxious feeling I get when Ibuki is involved, because in Kirumi’s case, I don’t want to see anything 2B related because that’s just gonna ruin how I feel about her.

Likewise, I love Kirumi, and yet I hate 2B. Isn’t it ironic? If I love Kirumi despite what fans are doing to her, would it be okay for me to actually like Ibuki despite the fact that I hate her music? If you’ve been to my AO3, is it wrong for me to write fanfics about Kirumi, or even Ibuki? I remember a year and a half ago when I first got into the series’ fandom, I had a nightmare about Kirumi getting dressed as you know who. In the nightmare, I got down on my knees with my hands on my head and kept repeating to myself, “No no no! It’s not true! It’s not true!” Because I didn’t want anyone in the fandom to treat her like that.

As for the other characters I mentioned in the beginning,

Celestia I like since we have a few things in common, such as eating issues and getting upset when people provoke us. And as I said, I’m not big on gothic themes, but I still like her. Is that wrong?

I like Mukuro because I think her freckles are cool, and I even like her when she’s dressed as Junko.

I like Keebo because his “That’s robophobic” quote is just hilarious. If it were up to me, I’d headcanon Keebo as someone who gets offended by the Nier meme if someone made him look like 2B.

I like Peko because of how badass she is, and would love it if there was an action beat ‘em up game that had Peko playable.

I like Maki because she reminded me of Senran Kagura character Ryoubi, appearance wise I mean. Given that I like Senran Kagura, don’t say this wouldn’t be different from Kirumi looking like you know who because I don’t like Nier.

I really don’t want this meme to ruin my life or ruin my views on my favorite Danganronpa characters. You’ll probably argue that it’s no different from the Rantaro avocado meme, but I personally think Kirumi and the other characters shouldn’t be treated like this. The 2B look-a-like meme is just overrated at this point. If I do see it happen again, it might very well break my heart.

[cup-half-full-of-anxiety]

Thoughts on Red White & Royal Blue

This will contain spoilers so don’t continue if you don’t wanna know.

First off, some people are saying that this was one of the best book to film adaptation, and I would just like to point out that that is completely untrue.

We all know that it’s Holes and no, I will not be taking any questions or comments on that matter at this time.

Also I can not express how excited I am for a queer romantic comedy. I am so excited to see queer love represented in a way that isn’t always seen. I do not want to take from that. But…

I was so let down.

They completely cut out the heart of the story. The casting and acting were great for what we got. Zahra was definitely not Zahra, so her and Sheen’s engagement really came out of left field because I don’t even remember them meeting. I hate that they cut out June and attempted to combine her with Nora, and then didn’t even give us Nora or Bre. We needed the White House trio. The three of them are such a force. I hate that we didn’t get Leo. I hated whatever that Miguel character was supposed to be a combination of.

Nick and Taylor did a great job with what they had. I do think that they were really great as Alex and Henry but the love wasn’t showing like it should’ve been. The distance between them and how they communicate through the emails is so important. We missed out on so much beauty from those emails.

“The phrase ‘see attached bibliography’ is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.”

I really think it was the writing. It was so lacking, it didn’t make sense at time. Some scenes that were changed were changed in ways that just didn’t make sense, they could have been done how they were written in the book . The Lakehouse? Why wasn’t that dock scene done at night?. The end, when Ellen is reelected, you don’t even know that they’re in Texas. It’s like Alexx and Henry went all Stranger Things and made their way from DC to Austin on random bikes they found.

I’m just really sad that we didn’t get the pizza seen in the game room, we didn’t get Leo wearing a shirt that says “you can’t spell constitution without tits”. We didn’t get crazy analysis Nora, we didn’t get the karaoke scene. We got a Honkytonk? Why can’t that is still been a drag club? The kimonos? 

But lastly. With how much they change the emails, and the fact that we didn’t get “history, huh?“ That’s what I think I have to be the most mad about. That is literally the quotes of the book. 

There were some positives, but I can’t say that they outweigh the negatives. Where are the spicy scenes lovely? Yes. was the first time they had sex a little awkward? Yes. I wish that we got more of their cuddling, I always loved that Alex ended up being the little spoon. 

I think it should have been a mini series. At least 3 to 5 episodes. The book just covers so much and has so much detail in certain areas that really needed to be played out that we didn’t get it. Richards wasn’t a big enough character. Amy wasn’t a big enough character but the person that played her was fantastic in the little bit that we did get.

Everyone who loved it,  i’m so happy for you guys and I wish I could be feeling what you’re feeling. I love this book so damn much and when I first read it years ago my first thought after I put it down was “God I need to write the script”

[abxglx]

je m'

To mark another 365 days around the sun, I thought it would be appropriate to write an open letter to myself. I just wanted to reflect on the past year and tell myself things that needed to be said, but that I rarely found the time to say. So, this is the letter to me.

Hello Gail,

Let me start by saying how proud I am of you. Surprised? I know that no matter how hard you try, I never tell you that you have done enough before. But girl look at you right now, you're awesome! Over the past few years, I’ve watched you rewrite your story page by page. Looking back now, I can say that you have come a long way from where you were before.

I'm so proud of you. I know I don't tell you often enough and I'm sorry. The truth is, I don’t have time to sit and think about everything that has happened or what is happening in my life. I've always been so relaxed and at ease lately, but sometimes my thoughts are so heavy. Then again, it might just be my anxiety.

This year was a blessing. You said yes to a lot of new opportunities, started a new journey, and met some really great people along the way. You walk through doors that you wouldn’t have dared to knock on just a few years ago. You are able able to reconnect with relatives you haven't spoken to in years and make some wonderful memories that you will both cherish for a lifetime.

No excuses whatsoever. I haven't been honest with you and it's time to tell you. Look at you, you're twenty-four years old, you've been living and breathing this crazy planet for twenty-four years. Do you know how many people don’t get the chance to say this? Yet you live here day after day.

So, I want to remind you of all the things you may not know. If you feel like you're not good enough or have made progress somewhere in your life, which I know happens a lot, if you feel like stupid person, please check this out and remember why you should be a part of this world, just like everyone else.

You may never escape your anxiety. I know this is hard to hear, and I see you worked so hard on this. But just because you can't beat it doesn't mean you have to let it control you. Every time you breathe, someone is taking their last breath. No matter what your fears are telling you, never take your feelings for granted. It's okay to cry sometimes and let it fester inside you. Let it out and you'll feel better.

Have more patience. Whether it's with friends, family, errands, or important life decisions. Be patient.

One day you will marry Abhit, one day you will have a bigger business, one day you will be more successful, one day you will be rich. I know you don’t believe it or can’t see it right now, but you are absolutely beautiful. One day, when you look back, you will realize how stupid you were for always thinking you were something you were not.

Gail, I'm so glad you're finally starting to realize your potential. Over the years, people tell you how much potential they see in you. But you never really see it (fool you). Because of your feelings, you suppressed them for so long and you feel not good enough for past year. Right now, look at all the excitement the world would have missed if you hadn't given up on that stupid idea, huh? Hahaha. I just want to say you're doing a great job and I can't wait to see what you accomplish in the next few years.

You have come so far and even though you are almost old hahaha, the journey has only just begun. I can’t wait to see what else you accomplish. You may not notice it, but any room you enter will become brighter. Don’t think you’re just blending in with the crowd.

Keep chasing the stars, Gail <3

[rcksmith]

Last night of the world — Five Hargreeves

You can find the 3 request here: anonymous 1, anonymous 2, anonymous 3.

Resume: Luther's wedding was an ironic joke for Five Hargreeves, especially with the apocalypse knocking at the door. But, that night, when Five looked at you and his breath escaped his lungs, he understood his brother. Beause he would marry you too on the last night of the world if he could.

Fluff prompts:

5. ”Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.”

11. “Wow- you look…amazing.” 

15. “Because i love you god damnit!”

16. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass..” “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

20. “How am i supposed to spoil you when you wont accept my gifts?”

40. “Come cuddle.”

Couple: Five Hargreeves /Fem!Reader.

Warnings: just swearing, little angst, mention of death, VERY FLUFF.

Word count:3k.

A/N: Spoiler from season 3.

Because I have a lot of requests in my box, I compile 3 orders that are similar and put together, but I took care to added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. 

We not tolerate any pedophilia here!! I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter, MHA and others fandoms.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are OPEN. Love you ❤️

———

He can remember to this day. The taste of heaven on the top of his tongue, his heart suddenly racing into an uncontrollable rhythm, the sensation of an icy shiver coursing through his body and igniting a hot flame deep in his chest. It was like seeing the muse of a Renaissance painting: exciting, destabilizing. And all your splendor made the soul of Five Hargreeves want to kneel for you in eternal devotion.

You were breathtaking. And even after years, he can still remember that moment.

Five is not a man who is easily impressed, nor is he snatched by any woman. He is firm, rational and practical. But meeting you… in all your glory as a God-decorated angel, made him want to admit the existence of the divine and drown himself in your religion.

It only took a few months for Hargreeves to realize that the earth's rotation only made sense when you were by his side, directing smiles towards him that made he feel like he was in the heart of the sun, that awakened the will to…be good. At least the best possible, for you. To have the illusion that he could deserve you.

Maybe if Five Hargreeves tried to be a better man when he was by your side, he could fool the gods, life or fate, that he deserved you. And so no one would take you away from him. Maybe.

The relationship of you two was something inevitable, unstoppable, Five held you like it was a miracle and didn't dare let go anymore. You were one of those once-in-a-lifetime things, and he wasn't going to risk losing you. But, lucky for Five, you loved him just as much as Phyllis loved Demophon.

There was an unspoken promise surrounding the love of the two of you, the unshakable conviction that you would remain side by side, until the end of the world.

"You are so lost in thought." Your voice snapped Five out of his reverie, bringing him back to reality.

A reality many years later. Where the end of the world knocked at the door, once again. Where his dysfunctional family was trapped in that strange and confusing reality. A reality where, in the midst of impending death, Luther was getting married.

When did time go by so fast?

It was at that moment that the blue eyes with ocean hues were in your direction, and just like so many years ago, Five lost his breath, his reason and his understanding of the world. The red silk clung to every curve of your body like an embrace of perfection, your skin was glistening under the lights of the hotel's ballroom, leaving you looking like a fantasy too good to have come true.

Holy fuck.

“Wow-’’  His voice got stuck on the way from brain to mouth, too perplexed how someone like you could be real. “You look…amazing.” 

The sincerity in his voice, charged with a tremor and veneration, made the hairs on your arms stand on end and your heart race like horses in a race. How, after so many years, could he still look at you as if you were the most beautiful deity among the Greek gods? There was a pure love deep in his eyes that always made your soul tremble.

"You look wonderful too." You flashed a big smile, running your hand down his arm. “I love you in a suit.”

Five made a mocking sound, like a half laugh, as he looked away for a second before turning his attention to you.

"You always say that."

"Because it's true"

Your body came close to his without hesitation, being greeted by Five's warm arm around your waist. His touch became firmer as he pulled you a little closer, as if, unconsciously, he firming up territory.

“What were you thinking?” He looked at you in an inquisitive way “When I arrived. What were you thinking?”

"In you." His answer came as firm as his grip, and your heart leapt in chest. “More specifically the first time I saw you.”

There was something about the way Five Hargreeves looked at you. Something mysterious, passionate, hot as the fire of sin and sweet as the gates of paradise. Something that made you feel like you were living a true love story. Emotions curled at the top of your throat, and you knew you would cry if you uttered a single syllable. So you just laid your head on his shoulder, snuggling into the person who was the reason you were still breathing.

“What are the plans for tonight?” Your voice came out when you were sure you wouldn't cry, looking back into his eyes.

“My only plan for tonight is to get fucked up beyond all recognition” Then his mouth got closer to your ear and became wicked when said "And fuck you so fucking hard that I'm going to break the bed"

Hot shivers licked up your spine to the back of your neck, heat in your belly rose to your eyes, and you smiled broadly, full of sinful expectation.

Five's promises were never in vain.

”Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.” he said.

Your cheeks flushed and you smiled even wider, the blood pulsing hard in your veins, following the same rhythm as your passionate heart.

Hargreeves bit his teeth as he tightened his grip on your waist. “You teasing little thing.”

You laughed loud, letting him lead you to one of the tables and you said softly  “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass...” 

“I heard that!” 

“You were supposed to!”

----

No one knew - or cared - what time it was, the height of dawn was always perfect for rampant alcohol and dubious behavior. Nights were made for choices that weren't made during the day.

At that moment, forever was in that ballroom, with drunk people and loud music. The colored lights pulsed like a car engine, contributing alcohol to cloud and inhibit the rationality of everyone in the room.

The world was ending and each one there found a different poetic meaning for the situation.

Luther found his in his wife, Klaus clung to his father's plans and lived that night not as the last, but as the beginning of something, just like Ben. Viktor found his in the peace that existed in the idea of - finally - putting an end to that drama of apocalypses, which followed him from timeline to timeline.

For Five Hargreeves, his poetic meaning was you.

His eyes were heavy and his mind light, but he would have to be completely blind for not recognize that, whenever he looked in your direction, you were the most breathtaking girl of the universe.

Would he stop venerate you as a goddess? No.

He stood there for a few seconds, next to someone he didn't care who it was, his eyes completely mesmerized on you. Like you was the most dangerous siren at sea, and he was just a sailor totally at your mercy.

Your body, trapped in that fucking maddening red silk gown, was covered in a fine mist of sweat that lit your skin like pirate treasure. Your hair was unruly and coming out of hairstyle, but the strands that fell under the lap of your breasts took his breath away. It should be considered a cardinal sin the way your body was moving, and Five would have dropped to his knees for you if he could spend eternity there, watching you dance.

“I don't think I've ever seen you look like that.” It sounded like Klaus' voice, but Five didn't want to take his eyes off you to check it out.

“I don't have any expression on my face.” He said the first thing that came to his mind, even though he didn't believe his own words.

How could anyone keep a complacent expression when you looked like that? So miraculous that Five questioned his sanity. There was something about you that kept him wrapped around your finger, so fervently in love, whipped with just one look you gave him. Your image was like a renaissance miracle, a glimpse novelists had of paradise.

God sure was a woman…because there was no explanation for you being so divinely beautiful.

“she’s just…wow”

Klaus must have said something, but Five didn't deign to pay attention, his concentration too focused on the way your body moved, the sway of your hips that moved his ocean. Your every move was a tsunami on his sea, every twirl was a rotation on his Earth, you were shaking Five's entire existence and didn't even notice.

You may have fallen in love with him first, but he fell in love hardest.

That's when your eyes met his, in a fatal connection that made Five's soul tingle. Your smile was the second shot at his sanity, and at that moment, at a stupid wedding, Hargreeves wondered why the hell he never made an event like this be a moment of the two of you?

Why did he never ask you to marry him?

And in that second, watching you dance with Viktor, he found no reason not to.

Fuck it.

With each step Five took toward you, charged with purpose, the more the sense of certainty inside him grew, like a thunderous sound.

“I'm going to have to steal the most beautiful woman of the night.'' Five told his brother, who tried to hide his laughter at his drunken, uninhibited state.

A delicious flush crept up your cheeks, coloring your skin to a shy tinge that made Five want to run his tongue at the maddening color.

“All yours” Viktor was still trying not to laugh as he handed you to his night-black-haired brother.

“Come cuddle.” Five's drunk voice teased you as he pulled you as close to him as he could.

“You know that the most beautiful woman of the night is a bride, don't you?” it was your first speech as you settled youself with his warm, masculine, possessive hand on the small of your back.

“Not for me.” His voice brushed your jaw, lowering to your neck as if Five were inhaling the scent of your soul. “Never for me.”

Five was drunk, you knew that, he smelled like expensive whisky and masculine cologne, but there was something about his sincerity abounding in his drunkenness that made your heart pound. Hargreeves could be very good at hiding his feelings on a day-to-day basis, but that fell apart when alcohol drowned out his demons.

Was that what he thought whenever he looked at you? That you were the most beautiful woman, in every single night? Did he look at you with that oblique glow and in his mind he secretly venerate you?

You've never wanted a positive response so much in your life, because that's exactly how you feel about him. Your heart has long had the name 'Five Hargreeves' tattooed in red-hot iron, and the wish you've asked the shooting stars is that yours would also be tattooed on Five's heart too.

it wasn't too much to ask...

“I love the way you smell.” You buried your nose in his neck, letting the male body rock you completely, just not touching you with both hands because he held a bottle of whisky in his left.

Five let out a sound that could be described as disbelieving laughter. "i've been drinking for hours."

“But I can still smell your real scent.” You joked, reaching up to the back of his head whit your hands.

Hargreeves rummaged his shoulders, in a way to draw your attention to his face, pulling your eyes from your favorite hiding place. When you did, there were so many emotions pouring out of the blue Egyptian eyes that made your soul shivered.

“What do I smell like?” A question so innocent, pure, almost childish, but one that was able to quicken your pulse as quickly as a wildfire.

There was no hesitation in your voice as you replied: “Home.”

A hot feeling licked Five from head to toe, shaking his structures and revoking all the foundations of his life. It should be a crime for you to say such things. It should be a crime for you to be so beautiful that it physically hurt. It should be a crime to be that passionate for you. So, whit his chest sinking with overwhelming emotions and feelings, Hargreeves made the only coherent decision: he kissed you.

Kissed you because his ribcage would explode if he didn't. Kissed you because every cell in his body screamed that no longer belonged to him, but to you.

Mine, mine, mine. That's what Five thought as drowned the sins on your heavenly lips.

“I want to marry you.” His voice was still swallowed by your lips, because he refused to pull away.

"But..." one more kiss ''we already...'' one more kiss ''we're married.''

"No." the firmness in his voice shook your heart  “I want a stupid wedding like this stupid event. I want to hear the idiotic speeches of my father and my siblings, and say that I want this hell to end when in fact I'm reveling in the fact that everyone is gathered just to see my wife. Because i love you god damnit! '' his statement left no space for a answer, because Five swallowed your breath with another incendiary kiss “I want to see you in white, and recite silly vows when in fact my love for you is much more than these ready-made words. I want to give you my last name, keep you by my side as the only Mrs. Hargreeves… I want… why the fuck have I never asked you to marry me before?!”

Five couldn't tell if you were crying or smiling, but he was relieved by the tight way you were holding him. Of course it wasn't the best of statements, he was never good with sentimental shit, but something in the way you looked at him shocked said he said something very right.

“I should propose to you in a better way.” His speech was cut off by a hiccup from the alcohol. “fucking hell…'' his gaze wandered slowly across the room and stopped at the stage, where Ben and Klaus were singing some horrible bullshit ''I already know…'' his drunk mind went back to you again ''I'll sing for you.''

Your laughter overcame the tears, and the automatic question left your mouth. “Why,babe?’’

"Because I want to make a decent proposal, give you something more worth telling people about later."

You were going to say a thousand things, but Five cut you off by the look in your eyes "How am I supposed to spoil you when you wont accept my gifts?”

Five Hargreeves didn't give you a chance to argue, didn't give you a second to recover from a breathtaking statement, and you felt like crying in anger at yourself when he was already away from you, on his way to the stage. You wanted to say that you loved him from the first second, that you worshiped him more than the Greeks worship Zeus. You didn't need a proposal, a big wedding, a official celebration, you always knew you were his wife. And you wanted him to know that too, wanted him to understand that, nothing he wasn't ready to do, you would push him to do. His reserved and sour nature wasn't a problem and you were always completely happy with what you had. Because that meant having Five on your side.

You've never considered yourself a big fan of such public displays of affection, you've always found proposal in open spaces and with people around cheesy, but...but the way Five smiled at you on that stage, microphone in hand and bottle of alcohol in another, it made you question all your tastes in life. That scene was worth it

The truth was, Five would hang the moon in the sky for you, and you'd do anything to keep that love and happiness in his eyes whenever he looked your way.

[tennisracketpacket]

"𝐂𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐎𝐟𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮" - 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫!

author's note: this is a little bonus short story because I just rewatched Strangers Things. I haven't really been able to find any fanfics with Steve x Sinclair! so I decided to write my own. Hope you enjoy! <3

my masterlist

part two

warnings: kissing, cheesiness, cuteness, bad dance moves

word count: 1.5k

Steve Harrington is my boyfriend. 

It sounded crazy even thinking it, but it was true, and it has been for the past seven months. Although he reassures me that he likes me as much as I like him. Still, my mind wonders how I managed to attain his affections. As I run my fingers through his brown locks with his head on my lap, which he only lets me touch his hair, my overthinking caused my mind to run a million miles per hour with uncertainty. Steve’s warm hand grasps mine that was entangled in his hair, bringing me back to reality. 

“Hey, where’d you go?” He speaks in a low tone. “You're missing the best part,” He rotates so that he lays on his back, looking back up at me. 

“Steve, how many times have we watched Jaws? Like ten times.” His brow furrowed and a frown formed on his face. 

“We’ve only watched it five times, but it’s a classic.” I nod to appease him, playfully rolling my eyes. “But seriously, Y/N, what’s wrong?” Solemness clouds my living room. We’ve had the conversation before but I was still filled with doubts and wavering about our relationship. I shake my head no in response to his question. His hand lifts to cup my face and he gives me a soft smile. 

“You’re cute when you lie,” He coos. I break the intense eye contact and cower away from him, flustered. “I love you,” He admits quietly. At first, I thought I heard him wrong and a puzzled look appears on my face. Steve changes positions once again and sits across from me on the couch. “I love you, Y/N Sinclair.” He repeats. The infamous Jaws music plays in the background of our conversation. “And you don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know.” He stutters. 

“I love you,” I confess after a prolonged silence. “I have for a while now actually.” The reason I couldn’t grasp he was mine, was because of our high school lives. 

Steve never acknowledged my presence. Steve was a dip in high school who only wanted to be popular. But, he was a completely different person back in middle school. We traded the occasional lunch but that was it. That, was basically the only interaction we had other than our slow dance at the Snow Ball. He likely doesn’t remember it because it was so long ago. But ever since, I developed feelings for him that I never thought would be reciprocated. 

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” plays loudly throughout the room. I fiddled with the dress my mother urged me to wear on the bleachers as I watched my friends dance with boys. I slurped my punch sadly. A very prepubescent Steve cleared his throat. I looked up to see his hand held out. 

“May I have this dance?” He smiled, causing one to form on my face. I eagerly nodded and he pulled me onto the dancefloor. That was many years ago.

He cups my face with both of his hands and pulls me toward him. His lips brushed against mine and I closed my eyes, embracing him. Our lips danced in sync with each other, starting out delicate but gradually we sped up, needing more. His hands pulled me onto his lap, with mine wrapping around his neck. 

“Gross,” My little brother’s voice caused me to jump off of Steve’s lap. 

“Oh shut it,” Steve playfully muttered.

“Don’t you have a basketball bench to warm?” I cross my arms. 

“Ha-ha, very funny. You know you have a bedroom to suck face in?” Lucas copies my body language. Steve lets out a laugh but quickly tries to hide it with a serious face when I look at him. “Steve, can you give me a ride to the school for Hellfire?” I scoff offended by his betrayal. 

“But I always give you a ride,” Lucas shrugs.

“Well, do you want to give me a ride?” 

“No, not really,” I laugh and he shakes his head at me. 

“Ok, children let’s go,” Steve grabs his keys from the coffee table and my hand. 

We dropped off Lucas and we sit in the high school parking lot for a while. Steve finally starts the car again and grabs a tape from his center console. The familiar tune filled my ears. I turn towards my boyfriend who is already looking at me. 

“You remembered?” Disbelief stains my voice. His distinguishable and comforting smile is shown on his face. 

“How could I forget?” Turning up the radio, he hastily places a kiss on my cheek and exits the car. I confusedly watch him as he runs around to my side, opening the door. This time a much older and post-pubescent Steve has his hand held out in front of me. “May I have this dance?” He asks me, recreating our previous one. Teary-eyed, I let out a laugh, entangling my fingers with his and he pulls me out his car. I clasp my hands around his neck. His fingers gently wipe away the single tear that escapes from my eye. I smile at my boyfriend once more as his hands settle on my hips. 

“You’re just too good to be true,” He starts singing on key, surprisingly. “Can’t keep my eyes off of you,” We sway side to side in the Hawkins Highschool parking lot with both of Steve’s car doors open. “You’d be like Heaven to touch,” I lay my head on his shoulder as he continues to sing. 

“I had no clue that you could sing, Stevey.” He laughs. 

“I can do a lot of things,” I know for a fact that he had a smirk on his face. Steve throws me out and spins me back in, dipping me. I pant, trying to catch my breath because I didn’t expect any more surprises from him.

“Wow, I got a good deal, didn’t I?” He nods quickly.

“A great one actually,” He helps me up to my feet. Our foreheads meet as we are comforted by each other’s presence. “I love you, baby! And if it’s quite alright I need you, baby, to warm these lonely nights!” Steve pulls away from me and belts out the chorus suddenly. He begins to “dance” but to me, it looks like he’s experiencing a stroke. I laugh as I watch him dance around me, attempting to sing while being out of breath. Grabbing my hands, I join him in his peculiar movement. Our laughter could be heard from miles away but we didn’t seem to care. 

The song comes to an end and we stop our movement, catching our breath. Steve approaches me again with an adorable look on his red face. “I love you so much,” He says, still huffing. His hands hold my face. “I’ll scream it until you believe it. I love you! I love you! I love you, Y/N M/N Sinclair!” I place my hand over his mouth.

“Ok! Ok,” I pause. “I believe you,” He takes my hand off his mouth. 

“Good,” A cheeky smile forms on his face. 

I roll my eyes playfully. “You are such a dork, Steve Harrington.” He gasps offensively placing his hand on his chest as if I had just wounded him. 

“Then you are a dork by association,” He snarkily says, shrugging his shoulders. I pull him by his shirt collar. 

“Shut up,” Our lips entwine. I smile into the kiss causing Steve to pull away. 

“What?” He asks, a worried expression is displayed on his face. I wrap my arms around his neck and shake my head.

“Nothing,” I linger. “I just love you.” Steve’s smile returns and he picks me up, spinning me around, causing a squeal to leave my mouth. We lean in once more to kiss. 

“Ew!” Steve yelps as we hear a voice. Turning towards the voice, we see the whole Hellfire club standing at the front doors of the highschool. My brother’s face displays disgust. 

“And I thought you were the weirdest Sinclair,” Eddie says crossing his arms with a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the 100th time tonight. 

Steve mimics Eddie by crossing his arms. “How long have you been there?” 

“Long enough for me to want to gauge my eyes out,” Lucas replies following with a dramatic gag. 

“I’m gonna make you walk home,” I laughed as I watched his eyes bulge. 

“Eddie will give me a ride home, right?” He turns toward Eddie who is shaking his head. Lucas groans.

“Dude your sister scares me,” He shrugs his shoulder and walks back inside of the school. 

“Is Steve planning on dating all our sisters?” I hear Mike say to Lucas as they head inside and I laugh. I stop once I don’t hear Steve joining in. He is glaring at me with a stern and serious look. 

“What?” Steve shakes his head trying to hide his smile. 

“Let’s go, Jaws is not gonna finish itself.” He starts walking to his open car door. 

“Oh please, no! I’m sorry.” 

“That’s what I thought,” 

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly,  tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water. 

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!” 

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.” 

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over. 

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots. 

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.” 

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.” 

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence. 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”

[beautifulblooms]

Fighting Together to the End - Eddie Munson x Male!Reader - Part 5

Male! Reader, still just a rewrite of season 4 to help me cope with the pain of Volume 2, this is pretty much fluff and banter, enjoy lmao

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

After a few minutes of recovery time Nancy explained how she had guns hidden in her house. It would be a long walk there but it was worth it to get any supplies. After about an hour we had made it to the Wheeler’s house, but it surely wasn’t the same. Gross vines connected to the hive mind of Vecna we’re covering everything, the door, walls, the floor and even the stairs. And somehow even more strange when we got up to Nancy’s room, things that were supposed to be there were missing. Like the whole reason we came here, the guns that were supposedly in her closet were no longer there.

“Are you sure they were there Wheeler?” Eddie chirps at her, slightly annoyed we all had wasted time walking here.

“Yes, there’s a 6-year-old in the house I know where I keep my guns.” She was pissed but tried to keep it together and search through the rest of her closet.

“Hey, Nance?” I had started to look around her room to see if I could find anything, and came across a diary.

“What?” Turning around she looked at me while I held her diary, well old diary in my hands.

“The last entry in here is from November 6, three years ago. Did you just stop writing or something?” I looked back over at her with a confused look on my face.

“What? No, I've been writing every day, the last entry should be from a few days ago.” Everyone started to walk closer to me and Nancy grabbed the diary. “It really is only this one. What happened November 6th, 1983?”

We all sat in a moment of confusion and thought trying to remember what would’ve been happening around that time

“My first time smoking with Eddie?” I shrugged my shoulders just throwing ideas out there.

“No, I don’t think it would be that babe.” The man in question looked at me with a dopey smile.

“Wait, isn’t that when Will went missing?” Steve finally started to piece his internal timeline together.

“Yes! That’s the day he disappeared, so when Will disappeared things stopped updating and changing down here.” Putting the old diary down Nancy turned to look at Steve while she talked.

“So we’re stuck in Hawkins circa November 6th 1983?” Robin asked, trying to get clarification.

“Yes, which means we need to find different weapons because I didn’t get my guns until after the Demogorgon. Shit.” Nancy now seemed pissed that we really had gotten all the way here for nothing.

Trying to find other things to defend ourselves we wandered back downstairs and around the main floor of the Wheeler house. The kitchen still has knives and some other stuff but we were all hoping for a little more firepower. Then all of a sudden Steve started screaming for Dustin of all people.

“Henderson?!? Henderson, where are you buddy?!” Collectively we all looked at him like he was insane.

“Steve, why are you yelling Dustin’s name?” I asked after he screamed another couple times.

“I heard him! He’s somewhere here, in the walls maybe. Dustin!! C’mon Henderson talk to me!”

To be completely honest I had lost hope in his sanity, maybe the demon bats had some venom that was destroying his brain. Then I saw it, the light fixture in the kitchen was glowing. Not like it was turned on but like there were particles of light surrounding it.

“Hey, everyone not going crazy, can you come over here?” And soon enough everyone, even Steve, had wandered over towards me in the Kitchen. “I’m not tripping right? You guys see this too?”

“Yeah, we see it, and I’m pretty sure I’m sober.” Even in the worst place Eddie still managed to crack jokes. I smiled gently at him before noticing Robin try to investigate the lights more. She had reached her hand into the particles and giggled.

“It kinda tickles, heh.” We all began reaching our hands into the light to see how it felt. Without realizing it at first we soon heard talking from somewhere around us.

“Wait, that’s Dustin, Steve I don’t think you’re going crazy anymore.” Robin spoke up while pulling her hand back.

“Go to Nancy’s room!”

The only thing we could assume was that Dustin was trying to find a way to communicate with us. So without knowing what else to do we wandered back upstairs again and stood around until we saw something light up on Nancy’s bed. It was a litebrite, where the fuck did they find one of those so quick.

“We’re pulling the plug! Standby!”

There was now just a cloud of the fuzzy light particles floating where the litebrite had been. Touching it Nancy began to write out a message, well I don’t know if the word “hi” counts as a message but she wrote it in the cloud. We heard cheering from the other side.

“Why can’t you get back?”

Well shit how do we explain that the portal is being protected by a swarm of bat things that nearly killed Steve. Quickly thinking something Nancy wrote out the word “guarded”, which confused everyone on the other side.

“There’s a gate at every murder site!”

“What does he mean?” Steve was really confused now.

“I don’t know, the kid’s insane.” Eddie mentioned and we all kinda agreed silently. Not knowing what to say back Nancy put a question mark.

“How many times do I have to be right on the money and you guys don’t listen to me?!”

Dustin’s attitude was something nothing of us needed to hear.

“That kid really needs to get his ego in check.” Steve muttered

“It’s his tone right?” Next to me Eddie looked over at Steve and they nodded in agreement.

“You need to get to a portal where someone was killed by Vecna!”

“Wait, if there’s a portal where everyone was killed, that means there’s one back home, back at Eddie’s trailer.” I pieced together what I could with the little understanding I had of this whole situation. Nancy spelled out “Trailer” to the other group and now we just needed a way to get there.

“Don’t the younger ones have bikes everywhere?” I glanced over at Nancy to see her reaction.

“Garage, there’s enough for us, well, someone will need to double up.” She looked over at me to see what I was thinking.

“Well me and this handsome man here and ride together, can’t we babe?” Eddie’s words made me look at him and smile, giving him confirmation.

We made it to the garage and picked a bike each, well, Eddie picked a bike and I hopped on the bar sticking out of the back wheel while holding onto his shoulders.

“Ride as fast as you can rockstar, I wanna get home soon.” Leaning over his side I gave his cheek a peck before leaning back up.

“I better get a reward when we’re done with this.” Smiling at him I leaned back over.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be the best reward you’ve ever gotten, big boy.”

[shesnake]

if you're up for it, would talk about your thoughts on lila's character this season? i think she had some great moments but the more i think about it the more uncomfortable with the direction they took. it seems more people like her now but there's not much in depth discussion, so i was curious what you had to say as someone who also loved her since s2

good morning to you and the other anon who sent me this right before you did:

tua spoilers:

ohhhhhhhh myyyy goddddd I am so pissed off about lila’s wasted potential. last season people were soooo unkind and unsympathetic towards lila for her actions after being raised by the handler and damaged in the exact same way reginald had done to the hargreeves family. I think it might have been worse for lila actually, because she was all alone with no other siblings to lean on growing up, and was always driven by a sense of vengeance for her real parents, who she still remembers. this plus the fact that she’s remained under her mum’s control even as a 30+ year old adult unlike the hargreeveses who have at least had over a decade to step back and process what happened to them (pretty unsuccessfully sure, but time does heal SOME wounds). it really annoyed me that so many people refused to see that she was just like the umbrellas and just wrote her off as a lying manipulative bitch, but when has any fandom been fair on women characters of colour?? especially with tua, and especially since lila is also a major love interest.

but yeah anyways season 2 left lila in a really interesting emotional place, perfect for further character development that could have actually driven the entire story forward. because while the umbrellas squandered their last decade alone from each other, lila could have been recovering from that same kind of trauma but this time with support from diego and the others. I like the idea of the hargreeves siblings seeing someone who is them from ten years ago and knowing how to help them because they know where they themselves went wrong. 

then season 3 decided to scrap that idea and instead give lila a very awkward speedrun through trauma recovery by making her pregnant thereby forcing her to confront her emotions about her abusive mother by dealing with the oh so humourous conundrum of becoming a mother herself. the lie with diego about stan went on for wayyyyy too long and it all just boiled down to boring and sexist romance tropes you’d only expect to find in fan fiction, with diego holding her back from doing anything. the whole thing is just sooooo lazily written to fast-track lila getting on the same emotional journey as the hargreeveses.

and then yeah, there’s the raw fish thing. I don’t think I saw lila drinking any alcohol but she was definitely looking for some at some point. so was she really pregnant anyway??? and then with the zap at the end with them losing their powers and diego and five and luther getting their whole bodies back does that mean lila still has her baby, if it did ever exist?????? they’ll probably just fall back on the “well. lila’s just a crazy lady!~” answer to everything (also i did NOT appreciate all the jokes about them in the asylum like my guy... it was the 60s they were put in there for being brown). fucking horrendous writing. ritu and david are soooo lucky their chemistry was electric enough to stop me from turning the show off.

[blackcatrph]

** sour  sentence  starters.

brutal.

“  i think that i’ll die before i drink.  ”

“  i'm so caught up in the news of who likes me and who hates you.  ”

“  i'm so tired that I might quit my job, start a new life.  ”

“  they'd all be so disappointed  because who am I if not exploited?  ”

“  where's my fuckin' teenage dream?  ”

“  if someone tells me one more time "enjoy your youth," I'm gonna cry.  ”

“  i'm anxious and nothing can help.  ”

“  i wish I'd done this before.  ”

“  i wish people liked me more.  ”

“  all I did was try my best.  ”

“  this the kind of thanks I get?  ”

“  they say these are the golden years.  ”

“  i wish I could disappear.  ”

“  god, it's brutal out here.  ”

“  i feel like no one wants me.  ”

“  i only have two real friends.  ”

“  lately I'm a nervous wreck.  ”

“  i love people I don't like.  ”

“  i hate every song I write.  ”

“  i'm not cool, and I'm not smart.  ”

“  i can't even parallel park.  ”

“  got a broken ego, broken heart.  ”

“  i don't even know where to start.  ”

traitor.

“  brown guilty eyes and little white lies.  ”

“  i played dumb but I always knew.  ”

“  i kept quiet so I could keep you.  ”

“  ain't it funny how you ran to her the second that we called it quits?  ”

“  ain't it funny how you said you were friends?  ”

“  it sure as hell don't look like it.  ”

“  you betrayed me.  ”

“  i know that you'll never feel sorry for the way I hurt.  ”

“  loved you at your worst but that didn't matter.  ”

“  guess you didn't cheat, but you're still a traitor.  ”

“  there's no damn way that you could fall in love with somebody that quickly.  ”

“  ain't it funny, all the twisted games, all the questions you used to avoid?  ”

“  remember I brought her up and you told me I was paranoid?  ”

“  i wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.  ”

“  you gave me your word but that didn't matter.  ”

drivers  license. 

“  i got my driver's license last week.  ”

“  just like we always talked about.  ”

“  today I drove through the suburbs crying 'cause you weren't around.  ”

“  you're probably with that blonde girl.  ”

“  she's so much older than me.  ” 

“  she's everything I'm insecure about.  ”

“  how could I ever love someone else?   “

“  i know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one.  ”

“  i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.  ”

“  guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.  ”

“  all my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you.  ”

“  I kinda feel sorry for them because they'll never know you the way that I do.  ”

“  i still see your face in the white cars, front yards.  ”

“  can't drive past the places we used to go to because I still fuckin' love you.  ”

1  step  forward,  3  steps  back.

“  i called you on the phone today.  ”

“  all I did was speak normally.  ”

“  you got me fucked up in the head.  ”

“  like am I pretty? am I fun?  ”

“  i hate that I gave you power over that kind of stuff.  ”

“  it's always one step forward and three steps back.  ”

“  i'm the love of your life until I make you mad.  ”

“  do you love me, want me, hate me? i don't understand.  ”

“  maybe in some masochistic way I kind of find it all exciting.  ”

“  which lover will I get today?  ”

“  will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?  ”

“  it's back and forth, did I say somethin' wrong?  ”

“  it's back and forth, goin' over everything I said.  ”

“  i'd leave you, but the roller coaster's all I've ever had.  ”

deja vu.

“  strawberry ice cream, one spoon for two?  ”

“  i bet she's braggin' to all her friends, sayin' you're so unique.  ”

“  so when you gonna tell her that we did that, too?  ”

“  that was our place, I found it first.  ”

“  i made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you.  ”

“  do you get déjà vu when she's with you?  ”

“  do you call her, almost say my name?  ”

“  i hate to think that I was just your type.  ”

“  don't act like we didn't do that shit too.  ”

“  play her piano, but she doesn't know that I was the one who taught you Billy Joel.  ”

good  4  u.

“  well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.  ”

“  you found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks.  ”

“  remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?  ”

“  good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself.  ” 

“  i guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped.  ”

“  now you can be a better man for your brand new girl.  ”

“  well, good for you, you look happy and healthy.  ”

“  not me, if you ever cared to ask.  ”

“  good for you, you're doin' great out there without me.  ”

“  i've lost my mind.  ”

“  i've spent the night cryin' on the floor in my bathroom.  ”

“  it's like we never even happened.  ”

“  what the fuck is up with that?  ”

“  good for you, it's like you never even met me.  ”

“  remember when you swore to god i was the only person who ever got you?  ”

“  well, screw that and screw you.  ”

“  you will never have to hurt the way you know that I do.  ”

“  maybe I'm too emotional.  ”

“  your apathy's like a wound in salt.  ”

“  maybe I'm too emotional  or maybe you never cared at all.  ”

“  like a damn sociopath.  ”

enough  for  you.

“  i wore makeup when we dated because I thought you'd like me more.  ”

“  i know that you loved before.  ”

“  tried so hard to be everything that you like.  ”

“  i read all of your self-help books so you'd think that I was smart.  ”

“  stupid, emotional, obsessive little me.  ”

“  i knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave.  ”

“  you found someonе more exciting.  ”

“  you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong.  ”

“  you always say I'm never satisfied but I don't think that's true.  ”

“  all I ever wanted was to be enough for you.  ”

“  maybe I'm just not as interesting as the girls you had before.  ”

“  you couldn't have cared less about someone who loved you more.  ”

“  i'd say you broke my heart but you broke much more than that.  ”

“  i don’t want your sympathy, i just want myself back.  ”

“  don’t you think i loved you too much to be used and discarded?  ”

“  don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?  ”

“  don’t tell me you’re sorry, feel sorry for yourself.  ”

“  someday i’ll be everything to somebody else.  ”

“  you’ll be the one crying.  ”

happier.

“  we broke up a month ago. ”

“  your friends are mine you know.  ”

“  you’ve moved on, found someone new.  ”

“  i thought my heart was detached from all the sunlight of our past.  ”

“  she’s so sweet, she’s so pretty.  ”

“  does she mean you forgot about me ?  ”

“  i hope you’re happy but not like how you were with me.  ”

“  i’m selfish i know. i can’t let you go.  ”

“  find someone great, but don’t find no one better.  ”

“  i hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier.  ”

 “  do you tell her she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen?  ”

“  an eternal love bullshit you know you’ll never mean.  ”

“  remember when i believe you meant it when you said it first to me?  ”

“  now i’m picking her apart like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart.  ”

“  she’s beautiful, she looks kind.  ”

“  she probably gives you butterflies.  ”

“  i wish you all the best, really.  ”

“  say you love her, just not like you loved me.  ”

“  think of me fondly when your hands are on her.  ”

jealousy  jealousy.

“  i kinda wanna throw my phone across the room.  ”

“  all i see are girls too good to be true.  ”

“  i know their beauty’s not my lack but it feels like that weight is on my back.  ”

“  comparison is killing me slowly.  ”

“  i think i think too much.  ”

“  i’m so sick of myself, i’d rather be anyone else.  ”

“  my jealousy started following me.  ”

“  i see everyone getting all the things i want.  ”

“  i’m happy for them, but then again, i’m not.  ”

“  i can’t stand it.  ” 

“  oh god i sound crazy.  ”

“  their win is not my loss, i know it’s true.  ”

“  i can’t help getting caught up in it all.  ”

“  all your friends are so cool.  ”

“  you go out every night.  ”

“  you’re living the life.  ”

“  i want to be you so bad, and i don’t even know you.  ”

“  all i see is what i should be.  ”

favourite  crime.

“  know that i love you so bad.  ”

“  i let you treat me like that.  ”

“  i was your willing accomplice.  ”

“  i watched as you fled the scene.  ”

“  doe-eyed as you buried me.  ”

“  the things i did just so i could call you mine.  ”

“  the things you did. well, i hope i was your favourite crime.  ”

“  you used me as an alibi.  ”

“  i crossed my heart and you crossed the line.  ”

“  i defended you to all my friends.  ”

“  every time i siren sounds, i wonder if you’re around.  ”

“  you know that i’d do it all again.  ”

“  it’s bittersweet to think about the damage that we’d do.  ”

“  i was going down but i was doing it with you.  ”

“  i say that i hate you with a smile on my face.  ”

“  look what we became.  ” 

hope  ur  ok.

“  his parents cared more about the bible than being good to their own child.  ”

“  wore long sleeves because of his dad.  ”

“  somehow we fell out of touch.  ”

“  hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush.  ”

“  don’t know if i’ll see you again someday.  ”

“  i hope that you’re okay.  ”

“  her parents hated who she loved.  ”

“  she was brought into a world where family was merely blood.  ” 

“  with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred.  ”

“  we don’t talk much.  ”

“  i miss you and i hope that you’re okay.  ”

“  address the letter to the holes in my butterfly wings.  ”

“  nothing’s forever, nothing is as good as it seems.  ”

“  when the clouds are ironed our and the monsters creep into your house, every door is hard to close.  ”

“  i hope you know how proud i am.  ”

“  i hope that you’re happier today.  ”

“  i love you and i hope that you’re okay.  ”  

[biaswreckme]

how to care for your hybrid | jjk

Pairing: hybrid!Jungkook/Reader

Member: Jungkook

Length: 5253 words

Genre: smut, fluff, angst, 5+1

Rating: 18+

Triggers/Warnings: smut, hybrid smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), insinuation of past abuse (but nothing explicit or even saying what happened), mention of abandonment 

Project: @btscreatorscorner​ March workshop with the theme push the limits

Summary: how to care for your hybrid, or 5 times you cared for bunny hybrid!Jungkook and one time he took care of you

A/N: So this was supposed to be a drabble and it turned out to be a 5k fic. Alright. This was written for this month’s workshop for BTS Creators’ Corner network, and the theme was to push the limits. I had never written a hybrid fic before, so I interpret the theme as coming out of my writing comfort zone (even though it’s still smut...) Thankssss to my lobely lobely betas, @heejinnien​ for beta-reading the sfw parts of this fic, and to @taegularities​​ for beta-reading the nsfw bit :3 I love you girls ♥

You can find the sequel here.

1. Provide them with a comfortable home

You still remembered the day you had brought Jungkook home from the shelter. You had gone with a friend, just as a companion, not intending nor really wanting to adopt a hybrid. Sure, you’d feel lonely sometimes, living by yourself and in a foreign country, but the thought of adopting a hybrid had never crossed your mind. Adopting a plant? Sure. Adopting a cat? Maybe. Adopting a hybrid? Never. Until you saw him, that is.

The shelter was legit, your friend had said, having done her research. But the place still made you uncomfortable; the creatures, those people, inside the divisions - you refuse to think of them as cages - waiting for someone to help. You had to bite your lip to keep from crying upon seeing them, knowing it was a rescue shelter, and then your eyes crossed with his.

There was some magnetic energy in the air that had pulled you closer to his unit until you could read the informational pamphlet: he was named Jungkook, a rescue bunny hybrid. Your gaze had immediately shifted to the man again; he was only a couple of years younger than you, but there had been something about his gaze that almost hypnotized you. He had such wide, expressive, and round eyes glistening with moisture and paired with his ears drooping low on the back of his head, you could not resist it.

There would be a home inspection and you would need to get some provisions to fulfill all the exigencies, but you rushed to get everything together. They had provided you with a list of items to make the bunny hybrid comfortable and ease the transition, and you did not hesitate, deciding to worry about the credit card bills later.

And so you took him home. He had clung to you entering the apartment, slowly exploring the space and showing where he would be sleeping. At the shelter, they had told you the hybrid would need an appropriate bed, but you hadn’t felt comfortable just getting a bunny bed at the store, so you got him a real and human bed, wanting him to feel at ease enough to not need to shift into a full bunny to sleep - they had also told you he tended to do that, sleeping as a bunny because he did not feel comfortable in his hybrid human-like body.

You had gotten the basics necessary for the approval of the adoption, and then you took him to the store, letting him choose his own things. It would be a while until that wide-eyed, surprised look would leave his expression, even when you were alone at the apartment and just hanging out on the couch on a Sunday night. That first night, giving him the blankets and tucking him in, you promised to take care of him, and you could barely hear his voice in reply, so small and shy, even though he was much taller - and more muscly - than you. It did not feel right that he had to make himself so quiet and small if that was even possible, so you swore to yourself that you would do everything to help him come out of his shell.

And soon you would find yourself in the company of a very loud and boisterous bunny, no shame about singing, his love for gaming until late hours, and working out. And you could not avoid falling in love with him.

2. Make sure they are getting appropriate food

It was a Friday night, you got home tired after a long day at work, and you smiled to yourself, biting your own lip upon the sight that greeted you upon entering the apartment. A shirtless Jungkook, towel haphazardly thrown over his shoulders, his torso glistening with sweat from working out in your living room. He lifted his head upon hearing you enter, a big smile lighting up his face and his long ears pointed up. He got up and made a movement to hug you.

“Hi, noona!”

“Oh no, you don’t,” you barely ducked out of the day. “Jungkook, you’re sweaty…”

He was faster than you, predicting where you were going to dodge his new attempt at enveloping you with his arms, something he had been picking up whenever you joined him in a boxing workout. His arms quickly went around your body, pressing you against him, your forearms up in the failed endeavor of avoiding getting his sweat all over you. He hugged you tight, his chin resting on your shoulder and you felt one of his ears on your head as his entire body seemed to tremble, and as you looked down you saw his tail wiggle from side to side rapidly.

“You’re finally home,” he sighed, swaying you softly from side to side.

“Is everything okay, bun? I’m sorry I’m late, they had me stay…”

“I’m so hungry,” you could almost see the pout, knowing the small lisp that came out whenever he pursed his lips and whined.

You looked around the living room, seeing the empty protein shaker bottle on the coffee table, narrowing your eyes.

“Didn’t you have your shake? You were working out.”

“Well, I did…” he started.

“We went grocery shopping and there are still some veggies and fruit cut up from our weekend meal prep, bun,” you felt him hiding his face even more on your shoulder, squeezing your body. “What’s going on? Am I forgetting something?” There was a slightly teasing tone in your voice, knowing what he wanted.

“You promised…” his voice was a mumble, muffled by the way his pouty lips were pressing on your body, but before you could ask him to repeat, “You promised pizza night, noona.”

“I know, bun, I haven’t forgotten it,” you stepped away from him, looking into his eyes and seeing his demeanor change completely.

“Oh?”

“I made the order when I was stuck at a red light. I got your favorite,” you were about to continue, but was interrupted by his sweaty hug again, this time accompanied by a chuckle.

“Ok, we have just enough time to shower before it arrives, so let’s run and get ready.”

You were right and there was just enough time to quickly wash the day - and Jungkook’s sweat - away. You set up the coffee table while he went to get the pizza, knowing it would be hot and he would almost drop it entering the apartment as usual. You sat side by side on the floor in front of the small table, turning the television on to the show you have been binging, your backs propped up against the sofa.

Jungkook was usually very strict with his diet, being mindful of the food he ingested to maintain his physique and try to lower his body fat percentage - which was crazy to you, his muscles were already prominent and he seemed to get only bigger… how were you supposed to leave the house to work when you had your bun looking like that, especially early mornings, his hooded half-open eyes almost smiling at you wishing you a good day at work. Your fridge was always full of fresh and cut-up vegetables, fruit, and greens, catering to his diet (and you had to admit you have been eating much better since he entered your life). Sometimes you thought it was all his difficulties from before, his time spent in the shelter, that he had such a love for a cheesy hot pizza every once in a while during the weekend.

And how could you say no to him when he purposefully lowered his ears, pouted, and widened his big round eyes even more to convince you?

3. Explore new things together

“Come on baby, you said you wanted to try this. It’s just us now.”

“Y… yes, noona. It’s just so… big.” Jungkook’s eyes were wide open, looking at the size of the pool in the club. For as much of a muscle bunny he was, the sheer magnitude of the pool seemed to scare him.

He first brought up the idea when you were watching tv a few days ago, some random program late at night showing people on a beach, and Jungkook had seemed to be fixated on the screen. He wanted to visit the sea, for he had never been there before. You agreed to it, but you had to admit that you were scared too, so you compromised: you would start your water adventures at a pool, so he could test things out, see if he truly enjoyed being in the water and swimming.

A few calls later there you were, standing by the water. You picked a time when they said people weren’t usually in - it even involved getting a day off work so you could go this early, but you would do everything for Jungkook. You looked at him, observant, watching his reactions carefully. His ears were down the back of his head, his hands clenched together in front of his shirtless torso, his front teeth worrying into his bottom lip. You took one of his hands into yours and started taking him in the direction of the small ladder to enter the pool. For a moment you wanted to jump in, but you didn’t want to make him even more nervous.

“It’s okay, bun, we’re going into the shallower part so most of your body will be above the water, ok?”

He nodded, but still seemed hesitant to get in, waiting for you to do it first. You stepped down the small ladder, showing him that almost half of your body was above the water, that he would be safe and didn’t need to worry about this part. The water was on the warmer side; you thought going for the hot pool was the best idea to help him feel comfortable at first. He stepped in feet by feet, slowly, his nose scrunched, but the moment he felt the warmth on his feet it was like magic: his ears shot up and his eyes widened in surprise, his mouth coming into a small circle.

You smiled encouragingly and stepped back, giving him some space, seeing him put one of his feet to the bottom and then the other, grounding himself. He was taller than you and he noticed the difference in the level of the water surrounding you. You lowered your body, telling him you were doing it first so as not to frighten him and submerged yourself to get your hair wet. When you emerged, you saw his eyes were wide again, but his ears were not down as before. There was a glint of curiosity in his expression and you nodded in encouragement for him to try it out.

“It’s just like when you wet your hair in the tube, bun. Here, hold on to my hands and remember to hold your breath.”

He did so, holding them tightly in his fists as he bent his knees and lowered his body. You chuckled slightly when you saw that half of his ears were still out of the water, so you quickly untangled one of your hands from his and lightly pressed on them so they were submerged too. He got up and shook his head, water droplets flying everywhere. He started laughing when he saw you put your hands in your eyes, and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

“Good?”

“Yes, noona, it’s good.”

“Are you ready to go a bit deeper?” His long ears perked up at your question, but his face seemed apprehensive. “Not much, we’re not swimming today, just going a bit more so you can maybe try floating.” His head moved up and down, agreeing to the idea, and you couldn’t help but think it was so cute the way his ears moved too.

You grabbed both his hands again so you were looking at each other as you slowly started to step back further into the deeper part of the pool. You didn’t rush, letting him adjust to the increasing level of the water, and only moved when he seemed comfortable. Jungkook always loved to have baths, so you figured he would love going to the pool too, especially a hot one. His smile got wider with each step, feeling more confident and safe with you. When the water hit your shoulders, you stopped and let his hands go.

“Bun, let’s try floating, ok? We’re starting small today, so you can just come closer and put your arms around my shoulders.” You said as you turned your back to him, and almost immediately you felt his arms around you. “Good! Now try letting your feet rise from the floor, let your body float a little.”

He tentatively lifted his feet, clinging to you harder as his body moved with the slow slushing of the water.

“I’ve got you, Kook,” you said as you pressed your hands to his. “I’m not letting go. Trust me, bun. Kick your feet back and put your weight on me.”

You felt him kick the water behind you, his strong arms flexing as he let his weight fall onto you. You knew the moment he started to float and enjoyed it; he pressed his face against your neck and started giggling, and when you looked at him, his nose was scrunched with happiness. His long ears were slightly facing backward, his eyes half-closed, and his little tail wiggling. You walked around the same area of the pool while he kicked his feet behind him, laughing freely as he enjoyed himself. As soon as you taught him to swim you would be taking a small holiday on the beach; you wanted to see this joy in him forever.

This moment was worth everything.

4. Make sure they are getting enough attention

“Morning, noona.”

You heard his voice, so gentle and still thick from sleep, waking up to the sound and the small kisses, his lips softly pressing against the back of your neck, his nose smelling your hair, his warm chest pressed against your back. You made an attempt to move your body but he tightened his arms around you.

“No moving yet, noona.”

“Morning, bun. What are you doing?”

“Just making sure you’re not going to leave my arms today,” he started, and you noticed his voice was heavy with emotion.

“Bun?”

He stayed quiet, hiding his face on your shoulder blades, and you did not say anything else until you felt it, until you felt them. There were small droplets of tears falling on your skin, and you turned around quickly to look at him fighting his embrace. Your hands immediately went to his face, wiping his cheeks, seeing him close his eyes and just quietly crying. Whenever he got like this, he would usually be quieter, needing to talk in his own time, so you did not ask him anything else, giving him space to let his feelings out. All you did was press your forehead against his and wipe his tears with your thumbs, and when you saw he would not stop so soon, you hugged him, letting your shirt dampen without caring about it. The moment you cradled his head against your chest, sobs started to wreck his body, making him shake and you could feel tears gathering in your own eyes. You had no idea how long you were like that, slowly caressing his hair, minding his long ears, but all that mattered was Jungkook. Slowly you felt his body starting to shake less, his hard sobs turning into small hiccups as he almost clawed at your back, needing to be closer to you.

“You’re… you’re not leaving me, right, noona?” His voice was quiet, but his question was too loud in the silence of the bedroom on a Saturday morning.

“Jungkook… no, love, I’m not leaving you,” your heart started to crackle with this question, and you pressed him against you even more. “Why, why do you think that, bun?”

He sniffled, pressing his nose against you and inhaling deeply, then said, his tone still small, “I’m feeling lonely… this past week…”

“Oh, Kook…” it seemed impossible, but you held him even closer to you, “I’ve been just too busy and exhausted from work, I know I got here yesterday and you were already in bed… I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”

He sniffled again and you felt a new wave of fresh tears wetting your clothes.

“I thought…” he started, but his voice faltered. “I thought I made you mad. I thought you were angry at me… and that…” there was a small sob that shook his entire body, “I was scared, noona, I was scared you were going to take me back.”

You could not stop your own tears from falling on top of his head; you had no idea he had felt that way. You had tried texting him during the day whenever you could have a moment for yourself at work throughout this insane week, but again and again, they demanded more hours from you and you did not have the chance to say no. Jungkook was still finding his freedom and footing in the world, and it had worried you that you had to leave him to spend more time by himself than usual. But you never expected this reaction, and you made up your mind. They could ask someone else at work, why did it always have to be you?

“No, Kook… Listen, bun,” your voice trembled, so you paused to be more stable when talking to him. “I’m so sorry you were alone this week, this is not going to happen again, I promise. And the day you came home with me I made a promise, remember? I’m never taking you back unless you want to go.”

He shook his head quickly, signaling his opposition to the idea.

“I don’t want you to go either, bun. I love you, and I’m sorry again.”

He finally looked at you, murmuring I love you too, a small smile gracing his lips. Your chest was starting to feel lighter, starting to relax after being so worried at his crying. You had never seen him like this, and you never wanted to see it again.

“What do you need from me, bun?” you said and kissed his forehead, letting your lips linger for a brief second.

“Can we just… stay in bed today? I want to stay like this in your arms, I missed you too much, noona.”

“Whatever you want, love, I’m yours.”

“I never want to leave this bed,” he whined, burrowing closer to you, and you noticed that even though his face was swollen from the tears and his voice was hoarse, his ears were more relaxed than they were before; they were tense in a way that was new to you.

“What about food? And I’m sorry, you’re not using this bed as a toilet, ok?” you tried to lighten the mood and it worked, the sound of his delightful chuckle filling the room, and you laughed along. But you understood and agreed. You never wanted to leave this bed. And at least for the day, you would only leave when necessary, needing to feel him in your embrace and carefully observe as he truly started to believe in you, leaving his worries in the past.

5. Love them unconditionally

The first time it happened was purely accidental. You were cuddling on the sofa, watching television, your hand caressing his hair when you felt his entire body tremble with such force that you stopped and looked at him, your hands away from him.

“Jungkook, bun, what… did I hurt you?”

You were worried; his arms were crossed in front of his body and his hands clasped together tightly on his lap. His doe-like eyes were more expressive than ever, open wide, his long ears were down, and he seemed to still be shivering. What had you done? You noticed there was a pink hue starting to tint his cheeks and neck and when you kept staring at him, you saw that he tried to make himself smaller. You felt tears start to gather in the corners of your eyes, fearful that you had done something to remind him of his life before, as he usually referred to the time that preceded the shelter.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook. I’m so sorry, just tell me what I did so I don’t do it again.”

“You didn’t…” he started, his voice slightly higher-pitched than usual. He cleared his throat and continued, his eyes wandering around the living room,  “you… I…”

You nodded, trying to encourage him to speak, needing to know what went wrong.

“Noona… my ears… my bunny ears, they’re, hm, too sensitive,” he said, blushing harder, and he shuddered.

Oh.

Oh. Your gaze shifted downwards, and you could see his hands were trying to conceal his erection. You licked your lips unconsciously, and his eyes seemed to get even bigger.

“Bad sensitive or good sensitive?”

He looked down at your question, clenching his hands and pressing them on his crotch, but said “Good sensitive, I think?”

You scooted a little closer to him on the couch but still did not touch him. “Talk to me, bun,” you said softly, feeling that the subject was delicate, but you wanted to know whether or not to bring it up again, whether or not you could touch him like that.

“Noona… no one ever touched them like this before, like you,” he seemed hesitant, but continued nonetheless, “you don’t hurt me. You like it, you like me, right?”

You did not think twice before enveloping him into a hug, pressing him tight against you, overwhelmed with emotions at his question.

“I love you, Jungkook. Every part of you.” You had a feeling that this was what he needed to hear. It was not often that you saw him being insecure anymore, and it tugged on your heart uncomfortably. “You don’t ever have to feel bad with me, ok? I love you,” you repeated, emphasizing, trying to comfort him.

“I love you too, Y/n,” his voice continued soft, but he looked a tiny percentage more confident. “I think… at some point… maybe…” he looked at you, and you nodded again for him to continue. “I think I might want you to touch them when we’re, you know,” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down, chuckling, and there he was, getting back to you.

You laughed with him. It was unusual seeing him this shy in talking about sex, as he was definitely not shy at all performing it or even talking about it most of the time, but you understood this was a different issue.

“Only if it will make you feel good, bun, you know I don’t want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable,” you took his hand and held it, caressing the back of it with your thumb, and he nodded.

The next time it happened was not accidental at all, and it caught you by surprise.

You were already in bed, whispering sweet nothings as sleep didn’t reach you. The kiss started innocent enough, his lips pressing softly against yours while his hands stopped at your lower back, pulling you towards his body. His tongue caressed your lower lip and you opened your mouth, deepening the kiss as you pressed your body closer to his. His leg nudged its way between yours, and shortly after he rolled over you, his underwear not able to conceal his erection and you felt it directly where you needed it as he grabbed your leg and wrapped it around his waist.

His kisses moved down to your neck, nipping and sucking, his hips subtly moving, stimulating you. You grabbed his hair as he descended, lifting your tank top, softly sucking on your nipples as his hands started to lower your panties. He wasted no time, licking your slit from bottom to top, pausing to circle your clit before putting his lips around it and sucking rhythmically as one of his fingers teased your opening, slowly moving in and out. It wasn’t long until you felt your orgasm building that your hands grabbed his hair, pulling him up and towards you.

“I want you in me,” you whispered against his lips, tasting yourself, you needed to feel him.

He nodded and quickly removed his underwear, throwing it haphazardly behind him. He moved back between your legs, lowering his body on top of yours as you crossed your legs on his waist, helping the angle. His cock started to press into you and you felt the delicious stretch, inch by inch. His thickness filled you perfectly; you could almost feel the veiny lines that adorned the underside of his cock pressed on your walls, and whenever his hips made those small sharp trusts, the upwards curve of his erection put some pressure just right where your sweet spot was.

It was sweet and slow, your mouths connected in a seemingly never-ending kiss, his hips moving without rush, the pleasure building unhurriedly and constantly, his weight on top of you heightening the feelings. You started canting your hips with his, your languid movements following his rhythm, and his hand reached to yours, intertwined your fingers. He broke the kiss, looking into your eyes as he directed your hand to his hair. You immediately entangled your fingers on his dark strands, tugging on it and he moaned, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again and stopping the movements of his hips. Before you could ask what happened, he pushed your fingers from his hair, shaking his head softly and smiling. Still staring, he lowered his head and made your fingertips graze against one of his long ears, almost a ghost-like touch. You opened your mouth in surprise and let out a loud moan at the same time, as your first touch on that sensitive part of his made him snap his hips hard once against yours.

A shiver perpassed his body, probably due to the intensity of the touch, but he looked at you and nodded, and so you did not hesitate. Your other hand went to his head too, so you could gently caress his bunny ears; he trembled again but started moving his hips, this time with more urgency and small whines came out of his mouth in between kisses on your neck. One of his hands sneaked between your bodies, his thumb circling your clit, pressing on it, needing you to get closer, the intensity of his orgasm starting to overwhelm him. You were already close, so close to it, but you wanted him to reach his peak with you.

“Can I…” you pause to moan, feeling the edge approaching, “can I touch your tail too?”

He seemed so lost in the moment that you had to repeat the question, the need clear in your voice, and upon hearing it again, he did not hesitate in moaning out an affirmation, curious to see what it would feel like. You waited until you were at the brink of the precipice, your right hand going down his body, his back. And just as a sharp snap of hips hit you just right, snapping the coil of your orgasm, your fingers reached the fluffy tail. Feeling your touch, Jungkook let out a loud shout and stopped his hips, his cock deep inside you as you felt him pulse and his entire body trembled. He fell on top of you as aftershocks still ran through his figure, little high-pitched moans leaving his lips. You were not sure how long you were like that, legs entangled, your fingers caressing his back soothingly as your own body calmed down from the intense orgasm.

“Jungkook?”

“I’m…” he moaned out, “good. We’re doing this again as soon as I have control over my body, okay?”

You chuckled and he moaned for you to stop, the tiniest of movements overwhelming his senses. The next time you giggled at a comment he made, he turned you over, pushing your upper body into the bed and hoisting your hips up, and you certainly did not laugh anymore that night.

+1: Expect to be surprised by them

You heard the commotion outside on the street and you ran out of the apartment to the front door of the small building to see what it was about, and you opened it just in time to see Jungkook stepping out of the cause of the noise.

“Bun, what’s all this?”

“Oh hi noona! Surprise!”

It was indeed a surprise. This morning you had woken up and could not find Jungkook anywhere so you assumed he had gone for a run, but apparently not. There he was standing and waving at you in front of a camper van, a huge smile on his face, his long ears perked up. You could see your neighbors, Taehyung and his cat hybrid Jimin next to him, a sheepish expression on Taehyung’s face and a smile as big as Jungkook’s on Jimin’s lips.

“We’re going camping, noona!” Jungkook said as he approached you, enveloping you into his arms. “You’ve been so tired from work and now that you have a break, I thought we could go camping and have some fun…”

“Right now?” You asked, a little overwhelmed, but starting to get excited about the idea.

“Yes! Taehyung-hyung called up this place and rented the van, we got groceries, and Jimin even helped me pick a new coat for you, noona, I know you needed one.”

You felt your eyes tear up. You were so used to taking care of Jungkook and putting him in the first place that it was strange having someone take care of you like this. But this was Jungkook, you should have expected that. The day you brought him home from the shelter, he had said he would take care of you just as much as you would take care of him. You kissed him softly, pressing him against your body, and you whispered a thank you low in his ear.

“I love you, noona. Now let’s get your things ready, we have to get going, or else Tae-hyung said he is going to play all his old records in this player he brought the entire trip,” he stated wide-eyed and clearly hinting that he definitely did not want that.

You chuckled, knowing how picky Jungkook was with everything - his food, his clothes, his music. You took his hand and pulled him into the house, waving to the other boys at the front, signaling you would be out in a minute. You quickly packed a bag with Jungkook’s help and you waited as he got his camera and equipment bag, not forgetting the aux cord, set on not letting the other boys have control over the music.

What you would find only later on that evening is that for the first night, Taehyung and Jimin would set their tent a little far from the camp, giving you two some space for the date Jungkook had planned. A bottle of your favorite wine, Jungkook cooking a simple dinner by the fire camp, the bun’s eyes shining brightly as he scrunched his nose, and his small tail wagging slowly to the rhythm of a Frank Sinatra record under the moonlight.

--

Hope you enjoyed it and if you want to read more, how about finding out about the first time bun!Jungkook went to the beach?

[those-sea-green-eyes]

Dear Diary

So I decided to get back into the groove of writing, and this came into existence. I'm very excited to be writing again, aah!!! I'm definitely doing this as a multi part series so stay on the lookout for the next part!!

part 2   part 3 part 4

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader

This is set before the events of season one and progresses into taking place during season one.

Dear Diary,

God, I hate that I’m even writing that.

Dear Diary

It just sounds so middle school - so childish.

Anyway, it’s been what, six years since I’ve written anything in this grossly purple notebook full of silly little things my younger self thought was some of the best writing ever, aside from the diary entries of course. I remember the first day I got this stupid thing. I had saw it on a shelf in the store while accompanying my mother on the weekly errand run. I thought it was a good idea to have something to write my personal thoughts in, and so did my parents. Man, did this thing go through a lot since then. Looking back at some of the last pages I had written on was almost like going through it all again. Remembering all the pain that comes with those memories is something I hope I never have to endure again. But you know the old saying, “history has a way of repeating itself.” 

Enough of the rambling on that topic. I’m not even sure why I’m writing any of this, honestly. You see, I’m currently packing things from my childhood bedroom. More so, things that my mother is going to donate. She’s moving out with her new fiancé and asked if I wanted to come look through my old stuff before she “donated” it all. Knowing her she was probably going to get whatever cash she could out of anything valuable and throw the rest out like garbage. To think she pretends to care about that kind of stuff anymore. Not like she ever did.

After my parents split I ended up living with my dad. Mom never even tried to fight for custody over me. Honestly glad she left me with dad, I would have wanted to live with him anyway. Dad left mom the old house and him and I ended up moving more towards the city, which meant that I had to move schools. I didn’t really like that idea at the time, but now looking back, I couldn’t be more happy with how things played out for me and dad. 

God, how I’m so glad that things played out. Meeting him was probably the best thing to happen in my life after all the hell. He’s been there for me during all the recovery and I couldn’t be more grateful. I don’t know how I’d ever repay him honestly. We’re now in our junior of high school - Hawkins High School. It’s crazy to think that was all only four years ago. Time seems to go by so fast yet so slow. Time is a weird concept to me, too. Four years of trying to get over trauma, but four years of a friendship that feels three times as long. We’ve seen each other go through heartbreak and more, I don’t know what else could bring us closer other than experiencing near death, but that’ll never happen, surely.

Onto another topic, the person in question of the previous paragraph. God, I could go on about him for hours. As much as I cherish and value our friendship with my life, there’s some shame in me saying that I wish we could be more than friends. I know, I absolutely hate how stupidly cliché this sounds. Falling for your best friend after knowing them for X amount of years and going through tough shit with each other. It was only recently that I figured out these feelings. But I couldn’t do that to him - telling him I mean. It was only a few months ago that he started dati

“Hey there, how’s it going?”

I turned around to face the bane of my existence - my mom’s fiancé

“Just finishing up.” I say as I put the last of the keep pile into a box, folding the top closed. I stand up and stretch, groaning as my back popped to hard. How long was I sitting there writing? I bent down to pick up my car keys and glanced at the notebook and pen where I left them. It was still open, the last word still unfinished. I sighed and closed it, picking it up whilst stuffing the pen in my pocket. Guess I’ll finish my newest entry later. I set the notebook on top of the keep box and decided to find where my mom went to. Walking down the hall I heard giggling and turned the corner to the kitchen to see my mom and her fiancé making out. I leaned against the doorframe and dramatically cleared my throat, making them both jump. 

“If you’re done being gross, I’ve finished packing up the boxes. I’m gonna head out too.” I pushed myself off the doorframe and walked to pick up an apple from the counter.

“Oh, honey, you should join us for lunch! I’m making tuna sandwh-”

“No, thanks. I’m actually getting lunch with Steve, which is why I need to leave shortly.” I jingled my keys and turned the corner to retrieve the keep box back in my old room. I entered the room and took a deep breath. It’d been a few years since I’d been in this room. I’d visit my mom every now and then, rather, when it was convenient for her. Taking a last look around, my mom stepped into the room.

“You know, you’re welcome to come visit us any time up in Fort Wayne.”

There she goes again, pretending to care.

“Thanks for the offer, mom. I’ll let you know if I ever plan to go up there.” I gave her a tight lipped smile, turning to pick up the box to take to the car.

“Oh, here, let me get Evan to carry that for yo-”

“No, I’ve got it.” I scoffed under my breath and carried the box to my car. Shoving it in the backseat, I closed the door and turned to my mom to give her a quick hug. 

“Bye sweetie. Call me if you need anything.” she smiled and turned to walk back up to the house to meet her boyfriend at the door. I hopped in the car and started the engine. Pulling out of the driveway I couldn’t help but have a sense of sadness wash over me. Yes, I thoroughly loathed my mom for what she did to me and my dad, but she was still my mother. And here she was, moving hours away with her perfect man to go play pretend and have the carefree life she so desperately wanted - instead of being thirty minutes away from her own daughter to be there and support said daughter. I pretended not to notice her waving me goodbye as I drove off. Sighing, I flipped on the radio and began my drive into town.