#it’s been so long since I was fixated on gravity falls

[amimuu]

Ok which one of you keeps putting Billford and Gravity falls content in general on my timeline. GUYS ITS BEEN 8 YEARS I CANT GO BACK THERE.

[sovonight]

Do you dislike people mentioning Gravity Falls to you since it’s been so long since you’ve drawn for it? Or because a lot of your popularity it seems (to me) came from your fixation on Ford then so you are somewhat known for that (only)?

I can’t blame you for either option. Your current art is as amazing as your past works in my eyes. I will always honestly love how you draw your line-art.

i'm sure that you mean well but telling me that i'm only known for ford when i obviously don't want to be is just depressing

of course i don't mind when people compliment my gravity falls art. what i do mind is when they use it to say "i'm only following you and enduring your regular posts for the off-chance that you might post gravity falls!" (it might be true, but do you have to say it to my face? you do know that what i post regularly is what i actually, currently love, and by saying that you're insulting it, right?) or "hey since everyone's into gravity falls again and your art is only worth something when it's gravity falls, shouldn't you draw some more for us?" (even if you think so, do you have to say it to my face? do you think my only purpose as an artist is to draw things other people like?)

i think people should practice reading over what they're going to send me and think twice before they send it. thanks for liking my art though

[roxasbooth]

Hi guys, hope you're doing great! :P

Felt like I needed to make this post since it's been a while since I posted anything here

First things first, infected time :)

Sorry to keep you guys hanging like that, I know a lot of you are here for the infection AU, I promise I'm working on it, but unfortunately it's slower than I'd like it to be :)

Tho one thing I can tell you guys is that I'm gonna be posting each page by itself from now on, just like part 1.5. It's way easier for me that way, and less overwhelming! Hope you understand :)

Regarding your asks! Just to clear things up, my asks are absolutely open for anything, but sometimes I don't know how to answer something, or that sometimes I'm not comfortable with them, SORRY! :(

And about the recent post I made about gravity falls, I know you guys sent me explanations and stuff related to it, I didn't answer, and I'm sorry. But I've read all of it and now I get it, so thanks a bunch! :P

Regarding the post about me drawing your OCs! I'm working on it.

Not gonna be making it anytime soon, probably (sorry!!!) But I'll make it someday! Promise! (It's mostly because I don't think I can do your characters justice TvT)

And for the lack of content in general, I've been working on a youtube video related to gravity falls, as the fixation has been coming back recently! The script is 5 pages long so far, and is still going strong! If you like gravity falls, stay tuned for that as well! ;)

Lastly, I have a gravity falls sideblog now, so that the fixations won't get mixed! If you're interested, check it out! @gravitytotheside :)

Thanks for reading and thanks a whole bunch for your patience and for sticking around still! I appreciate it more than you know!

Have a wonderful time! :D✨

[sxftkxssxs]

Hey guys! I know it's been quite a while since I've posted anything actual headcannons or fic wise. Theres a reason for that! I've unfortunately not been quite as fixated on The Arcana for a long while (which I hope hasn't been completely obvious in my writing. But I know it has been from my absence.) I have however, fallen in love with some other fandoms! These are ones I may or may not end up rambling/writing for. I'll list those here :

Undertale (though it never really left lol)

Pressure

Hades (I and II)

Cryptid Coffeehouse (if you haven't played this you should, oh my gods its so beautiful! I'll link it here but also check out the Kurou Connect demo by nukes as well!)

Gravity Falls (no comment!)

I'm still very busy right now, with classes starting back up, work, and extracurriculars. I do hope that on some of my days off I might be able to work on writing more as I miss it very deeply. It'll be slow but I really enjoy it so fingers crossed I get something out soon.

I'll try to finish whatever asks are in my drafts right now. I'll still answer asks and requests about The Arcana! I'm not completely abandoning it so don't worry about that. I feel that I just need some variety so I don't keep disappearing for 6 months at a time. You guys should absolutely feel free to ask me about the games listed above as well! Either to just ramble or actual asks related to them.

genuinely thought I posted this over a week ago, I also have drafts ready to post rn lol 😬

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi! This is for your redacted match-up game because I love reading them (you put so much work and thought into them!!) and it seemed super fun ^v^ (if you have the time for it ofc. If you can't do this then it’s totally cool and you can just brush it away from your to do pile <3 also thank you if you do this one)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? It was hard to choose, buuuuttt I chose, “Greenlight” by Pitbull ft. Flo Rida, LunchMoney Lewis, because of the vibe and it’s a song that reminds me of summer 2016, which was such a fun summer for me (and it’s been in my head for the past day). No specific lyrics or verses I like since I don’t usually listen to songs because of the lyrics. Altho if they have beautiful lyrics (like Hozier songs) then more props to the song :)

What is your Enneagram type? Type 3w4. 

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? I like to watch really long videos, but I’m not sure if they count as essays. I watch “BHultra” a lot. I watch a lot more commentary/essay videos that are 30-40 minutes long (mostly talking about childhood tv shows or fashion/fashion history).

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. Didn’t have one, but I lied and said I “had an imaginary friend named Bob”, because I thought I was supposed to have one and thought the name Bob was funny.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? Gotta have a heavier blanket somewhere on me, as well as sleeping on my stomach or on my side as well as with my stuffed animal. More often than not I have to fall asleep and listen to older youtube videos that I watched when I was a kid because I already know what happens and they are comfort vids.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) I like my name, but if I'd have to change it, I’d like the name Adelaide. It’s classic and sweet sounding. 

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? One of my favorite audios is Milo’s “Healing Your Feisty Werewolf Boyfriend” because I love the parallel to the first time Sweetheart healed him, and the cuddling at the end is so cute!

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) I’m not sure how much hype he has, but Ivan is kinda just meh. I’m not super into the yandere thing (even though I know Vega kinda led that whole ordeal) and the rest of his videos are alright, but, don’t really excite me a whole bunch to relisten to them. (Still haven’t listen to quite a few of the other characters, like Vega, Regulus, Anton, Brachium, but I’ll get there eventually).

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. Gravity Falls. I’ve watched it wayyy too many times and can literally quote the majority of the episodes.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? I really would like to be friends with Huxley. He’s so chill and sweet. Absolutely can vibe with the dude. Also, maybe, Guy. He’s much more energetic and I don’t think I could match his pace all of the time without tiring quickly (i usually try to match people’s personalities when I’m with them), but I think he’d be super fun to go places with, as well as I would enjoy gossiping and talking about writing stuff with him.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) If I’m tired I don’t normally talk a whole bunch, but I do start thinking about life and how short and long it is, and all the wonderful things and how much I’ve grown as a person. And if I start feeling anxious, then that’s when I realize that I am way past “kinda tired” and I should be going to sleep.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. Don’t have a “go-to” gas station but I always get a blue raspberry slushie/icee

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. “𝙥𝙤𝙫: 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟗-𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟐 :3 (Part 1)” on Youtube. Majority of those songs are dance songs and all those songs bring back good memories. I really like more hyper sounding music than slower songs.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? Hmm roleplay asmr is probably the biggest guilty pleasure I have, since I don’t talk about it with anyone. Also listening to Nickelback would probably be another big guilty pleasure, even though lots of people like it, listening to it is still “lol you listen to Nickelback?? really???”.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! INFP; 99% sure I have anxiety and OCD (haven’t actually gotten professionally diagnosed bcuz of reasons, cuz oof); Oldest kid; I really like to draw, read and write; I really like taking pictures of the sky and candid shots; I’m a very nostalgic person (altho my answers probably make that obvious); Can’t watch horror movies; Love cats; People think I’m always upset or angry cuz of my resting bitch face but I literally am not usually thinking of any mean response to whatever is happening, I’m just absorbing everything happening; Not a super big math/coding person (kudos to anyone that is great at that stuff, you’re absolutely awesome for that!); i guess sort of a pushover unless I really really care about something; anddddd i'm kinda the therapist friend.

Easy peasy- a therapist friend needs a partner who is least likely to need a therapist and/or is skilled enough at handling boundaries to know the proper place to seek therapy which is not with you. Hence, Camelopardalis!

Of course, those aren’t the only reasons. Type Threes are characterized by a desire to be loved and to be sure of that love, and Cam gives me the impression of an openly affectionate and communicative partner. He’s an introvert; you’re an introvert. You’re a nostalgic-kind of person; who better to share in that than an eons-old, immortal daemon? (Until told otherwise by God and/or Erik, the d(a)emons are heckin ancient to me.) Cam is also a great partner to pair if suffering from anxiety and compulsions, almost the most out of all the boys.

Life with Camelopardalis would be so sweet, so domestic, so full of the joy of sharing with him everyday human delights he might not take part in usually. For starters, you obviously get a cat. He objectively knew a cat would be cool, but with you, he learns to love cats. You also show him Gravity Falls which he doesn’t expect to like; he’s surprised by what a heartfelt show it is for being animated and based on such a silly concept. (He feels a lot for Mabel, as he should /lh) He loves your art but especially your photos of the sky. He puts them all over your shared house, and they stay up even after you’re gone.

Song:

Like the shadow that's by your side/ I'll be there/ For better or worse/ 'Til death do us part/ I'll love you with every beat of my heart/ I swear/ I'll give you everything I can/ I'll build your dreams with these two hands/ We'll hang some memories on the wall/ And when there's silver in your hair/ You won't have to ask if I still care/ 'Cause as time turns the page/ My love won't age at all

Though you like nostalgic songs that are more suited to dancing, I think Cam likes nostalgic songs that are more contemplative and slow. For you two, I settled on a song that’s more of a nostalgic, slow dance vibe, you know what I mean? I couldn’t resist for two reasons. One, the lyrics of devoted, lasting love suited him too well. Two, it delighted me and tickled me pink to imagine Cam listening to a nineties boy band.

Runner-ups:

Geordi is my favorite runner-up for you, because he’s another great partner for a Type Three, another boy who’s very openly loving and sweet. He’s also, if I remember correctly, canonically been to therapy already, so he’s less likely to need your services as a therapy friend. Morgan is a runner-up because I like this vibe in tandem with your anxiety; like, I think he’d be a calming, comforting presence to you. Also, you two should get a cat.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[cursedmagician]

> PROCESSING [ABOUT ME]… ENTER CREDENTIALS.

welcome to my blog everyone! i’m glad you’re here because i’ve been meaning to post here for an… unceremoniously long time.

here are some things that you should know about me!

ABOUT ME !!!1!1!! POW POW POW

you can call me magician or holograph, my pronouns are he/they and i’m 14 years old and taken already… sorry ladies…

MY OTHER SOCIALS!!

insta: cursed.magician

pinterest: thecursedmagician

twitter: illumigraph

spacehey: https://spacehey.com/cursedmagician

i’m a pretty weird person you can deeefinitely tell!! i’m like the stereotypical weird kid because i make fanfiction fanart fan merch fan EEEVERYTHING and i like shipping, like how much worse can i get /silly XD

i love fixating on things for weeks at a time before completely forgetting about them, but i never ever forget… and they can be revived very easily…

i’m also a huge nerd which is gonna blatantly obvious by the time you read my interests section but i LOVE ranting about this stuff so feel free to chat with me hehe

yes, i have a golden retriever personality so. please talk to me PLEASE I WANT TO MEET COOL PEOPLE i promise i don’t bite :3

im always looking for new friends to talk to! that being said, sometimes i can get kind of inactive for periods of time but not for long I PROMISE!!!!

⋆ ★ BYF:

i tend to use a lot of flashing imagery and eye straining colours!

you will see me talk about triggering topics sometimes here. my art may also include triggering topics, so i will add a trigger warning if it does have those.

i’m pretty sarcastic and can make offensive jokes, however i do use tone tags to indicate as such. feel free to use tone tags on me too!

at the time of writing i still have no idea how to interact with people on tumblr since i never really used it much before. if i get things wrong, do tell me :P

this is a pretty fandom focused blog. i cant help it, but yes there will be a lot of fandom posting and shipping and everything like that. i might try to keep it balanced but i won’t try too hard because i’m just gonna post whatever i want here

⋆ ★ interests:

object shows, gravity falls, south park, amphibia, toh, ok ko, scott pilgrim, chainsaw man, wonder egg priority, murder drones, tadc, fnaf, omori, undertale, deltarune, oneshot, hello charlotte, tloz, pokemon, sonic, ultrakill, geometry dash, regretevator, backrooms, scp

drawing, writing, voice acting, video editing, animating, math (especially different ratios and algebraic formulas), old web, old technology, computer/game history, nostalgia, dark web, computer science, building computers, brain rot on instagram reels 🤤

⋆ ★ DNI

basic dni, nsfw, people who are just going to make fun of/harass me, people against my interests (this means you are actively against it, not just uncaring about it), people who are just going to get on my nerves, close minded people, genuinely narcissistic people, people who sexualise EVERYTHING GRRR

TAGS (more may be added later?) ⊹ ࣪ ˖

magician.iso - life, journal sort of thing and general posts ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

sketchbook.folder - serious art, official art and all that jazz ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

scrapbook.folder - sketches, studies, and other misc art ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

stage.drive - rambling and yapping because i’m a chronic yapper bro ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

type.txt - writing of any kind! may include links ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

ENJOI MY BLOG !!

[destiny-in-the-universe]

Fixation Central

Anyone who follows my blog knows I am auDHD and I fixate extremely fast. I am constantly frothing at the mouth with how much I adore certain fandoms. Most of what I'm into right now is superhero cartoons, but my journey with two of my first ever fandoms: Scooby Doo and Harry Potter.

I've 'left' Harry Potter, but that's because I made my own canon lmao. Or attempted to, at least-

It has long since branched off and my honorary fixations include Gravity Falls, Warrior Cats, PJO, and Doctor Who. And yes, I did also have problematic fixations - let yourself be cringe; if you want to enjoy DSMP, Homestuck, ATLA, or anything in between - do it. I was only part of one of these though. All fandoms have their toxicity, and in the end... make your own fucking canon. Problem solved.

Though, now... it's time to talk about what I like now and the ones I never truly left so without much further ado - let's get on with it!

Read below the cut for the rest!

The Fixations That Just Stayed

Gravity Falls (joined the fandom late, ended up being the creator of multiple original AU's and adored the Pines family dynamics; would've wanted to see something actually used with the Cipher/Zodiac Wheel)

Warrior Cats (never finished the books, unapologetic Firestar fan - first fandom I ever roleplayed and had an OC named Dawnheart of all things)

Doctor Who (adore New Who, loved all companions and thought more could've been done with Martha; huge Riverdoc fan, Donna is my favorite companion - was obsessed with the Pandorica arc for literally no reason; actually enjoyed the Timeless Child reveal)

Scooby Doo (on-off fixation, made up Scooby Doo AU's and crossovers for a lot of my fandoms-)

Current Fixations

Danny Phantom (literally what started my superhero cartoon fixation; adores Everlasting Trio - Sam bashing is irritating I'm ngl, also platonic Badger Cereal is one of my favorite things; has made ghost king and TUE AU's, among other things)

RC9GN (Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja) (never watched it as a kid afaik; huge Randy Cunningham kin, kickstarted my Secret Trio fixation - multishipper for the fandom)

Wordgirl (nostalgia fixation, watched few episodes as a kid but came to love it as an adult; adoptive villains apologist, obsessed with the Rise of Miss Power episodes; Becky Botsford and Tobey McCallister kin, a lot more thoughts but I can't list them all down-)

K-Dramas (kind of picky with them, anything high-drive/action are my favorites; adores Vincenzo and Descendants of the Sun. Taxi Driver was also a fun ride, among others)

AU's and Crossovers Hoard

Secret Trio/Quartet (American Dragon: Jake Long, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja, and Danny Phantom + bonus appearances from Miraculous Ladybug) (massive fixation, currently being worked on as a fanfiction series on Ao3 - post canon/future au timelines, darker depictions than their given canon)

Superwholock and Co (Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock) (original crossover I ever got into; adores crossovers with Merlin)

Mystery Kids (crossover between Coraline, Paranorman, Gravity Falls, and Danny Phantom - as I've never seen/played Psychonauts) (first of the crossovers as well, was a casual fan in the beginning - currently also being worked on as a fanfiction)

Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons (Rise of the Guardians, Brave, Tangled, and How to Train Your Dragon) (the OG, attempted to make an LPS series for it as a kid; adored any plotlines with Pitch Black - the four being New Guardians of the Seasons? chef's kiss)

DP x DC (personal favorite, i like the Vibes)

Personal Hoard

Totally Spies/Glitch Techs (made it up like Right Now; very behind on Glitch Techs but still-)

RC9GN/Wordgirl

C:KND/RC9GN (Codename: Kids Next Door/Randy Cunningham) (original creator; former KND operative Randy Cunningham becomes the Ninja, what could possibly go wrong?)

Project Zero: Heroes United (expanded Secret Trio/Quartet universe) ("Heroes Cinematic Universe" multi-fandom au where superheroes of different cartoons are selected to be an elite team against evil)

Once Upon in Camelot (OUAT/Once Upon a Time and Merlin) (abandoned project, might return to it; crossover/au where BBC! Arthurian cast are reincarnated following the S4 finale - exception being Merlin, shenanigans ensue; post-canon arc, Merthur storyline)

Other projects will be brought up later so if anyone's curious, interact with this post! Likes are appreciated, but comments and reblogs are preferred! Meows.

independent fandom AU's (i.e. Reverse Falls) will not be included within this post! I will be linking that separately!

[viilpstick]

HI GIRLLL HELLO HEYYY😍🥰 (me trying to act as if I didn't just come here without any warning whatsoever to gush about this new scenario idea I had like a week ago)

Ok but like jokes aside and before I get started: how have you been? How was your day? :] I hope school was less stressful to you today and that you were able to study well!(⁠＾⁠∇⁠＾⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♪

•••

Kalim might not be the smartest student, some might even say he didn't even fit with Scarabia’s values, but Kalim was not dumb. Sure, he wasn't book smart like his servant, Jamil, but he could read people's emotions well, even if they didn't realize it.

And one thing he caught on right away was that Jeanne Hook didn't love him.

Jeanne looked at him with hunger and greed, she looked at him as one would look at a newfound treasure. The same beautiful blue eyes Kalim fell in love with were the same eyes that looked at him as if he was nothing but a means to an end. He would lie if he said it didn't hurt him, but at the end of the day, Kalim was completely enamored with Jeanne. He couldn't deny himself, he couldn't deny his feelings. So he would be honest, and trust that she had some compassion in her.

He would let her stare all she wanted. As long as it meant her eyes were fixated on him and only him.

“Where are you taking me anyway, Asim?” She asked, a performative smile on her lips as he gently held her hand and led her to the balcony of Sacarabia. “Jamil will soon notice that we’re missing from the party and he’s not gonna be happy about it.” He turned and smiled at her as they finally reached their destination, holding not only her right hand but her hook she used to replace her left hand.

“I just wanted to show you something.” Kalim smiled, his dimples showing. “I want you to meet someone.”

Jeanne’s expression showed confusion as the boy stopped holding her and walked straight to the edge of the balcony.

“You… want me to meet someone?”

“Trust me, Jeanne, you’re gonna love this.” Kalim said confidently as he stood on the edge of the balcony, Jeanne's eyes widening in a mix of surprise and maybe even worry, if he dared to hope.

Then, Kalim let his body fall, letting gravity do its own thing. Jeanne hurried to the edge, calling for the white haired boy frantically, looking everywhere but somehow being unable to find the body of the Asim heir.

What was he thinking?? Jumping from the balcony all of a sudden! Jeanne gritted her teeth and started climbing the edge, ready to jump to find him, but before she was even able to get her right foot up, the familiar voice of Kalim called to her from behind, and as she turned she witnessed him, wide eyed and standing on a carpet.

A flying carpet.

“Wha- were you going to jump after me?” The boy asked, touched, and Jeanne let out a big sigh of relief, passing her hand through her dark hair.

“Duh! I thought you might’ve hurt yourself, how the heck would I explain that to Jamil?” She expressed, but then decided to leave that aside, looking at the carpet he was standing on. “So… this is who you wanted me to meet?”

“Oh- yes! This is my magic carpet, Jeanne.” The carpet flew closer to the girl, she laughed as a portion of the fabric seemed to hold her hand and pretend to kiss it. Well, it was just as intriguing as Kalim himself. “Do you like it? It’s been my friend since I've known myself.”

“It’s wonderful, Asim. Really.” Jeanne said, passing her hand on top of the fabric of the carpet, in awe of its beautiful and intricate design.

Kalim kneeled down and looked the girl in the eyes, a hopeful smile on his face as he asked: “do you want to go for a ride?”

Jeanne’s smile dropped, turning into a rather… stunned expression. She looked at the carpet and then back at Kalim, chuckling at the idea.

“Oh no, Asim. I’m way more friendly with boats and brooms… this is such a thin piece of fabric, I doubt it could-”

“Do you trust me?”

Jeanne's eyes locked with Kalim’s, his ruby pupils seeming to make her dizzy. She learned from a very young age that the only person she could count on was herself and her sister, no one else seemed worthy of her trust… yet… looking at this boy’s eyes, she didn't feel a single ounce of doubt. It was as if she knew him her entire life, despite being sure to have only known Kalim for a few months.

"I... Asim, it's not-" she hesitated. Well... It was just a ride, right? If he tried anything, she could slice his neck open with her hook. She sighed at the idea. "...sure." she said, hesitantly, as her hook made its way to Kalim’s hand, and the boy gave her the warmest smile she had ever seen.

His gentle fingers touched her hard, cold metal hook as if it wasn't dangerous. As if it couldn't be used to harm him, as if the idea of Jeanne hurting him never even crossed his mind.

Kalim dragged her onto the carpet, and as they sat the white haired boy guided the object up high in the clouds, letting out a scream of enjoyment, and Jeanne held onto his waist for dear life. Why did she say yes? Forget about feeling like she knew Kalim since forever, she was clearly going to fall at any moment!!

Kalim's hand made its way to touch hers, squeezing it as if reassuring her that she was fine. He said: “open your eyes! Trust me, Jeanne!”

The taller one squeezed his waist, and, taking a leap of faith, opened her eyes, and she saw the most wonderful sight she had ever seen: a view up on the clouds, the sky filled with stars with nothing to hide their shine... She had never seen the world in such a beautiful way.

She truly had never seen anything like this, not even in her travels with her parents.

“So? What do you think?” Kalim asked, catching the girl's attention.

Jeanne stared at him, noticing every part of his face: his red pupils shining with expectation, his round cheeks with dimples that showed as he shot her the most genuine and caring smile she had ever seen. Her heart skipped a beat, her own face went red as her gaze softened.

She chuckled embarrassed, finally letting go of his waist, and Kalim instantly missed her touch.

“This is beautiful. I never knew how incredible the view from up here was.” She admitted, avoiding his gaze. Kalim took her hand and she felt her whole body stiffen.

“You can come ride on the magic carpet with me anyday, anytime. I’d love to show you my world.” He giggled shyly, looking to the side but still refusing to let her hand go. “I know I would love to spend even more time with you.”

“You're… very trusting, Kalim.”

Kalim shook his head.

“No. I just choose to believe in people.” He looked at her and smiled softly, though she could see a bit of hurt in his eyes. “I believe in you. I know that you're not as bad as Jamil thinks. For example, you just called me 'Kalim' instead of my family name.”

Jeanne quickly put her hook to her mouth in shock. Since when did she let herself call him by his actual name? Since when her perspective on him changed so much to the point she would think of him as Kalim and not the Asim heir?

“I’ve no idea what you mean by that.” She lied.

“It's ok, you're not the first to have come to me for my status.” Kalim laughed as if it was nothing, but Jeanne couldn't laugh with him. “But… will you call me by my name? Please? I adore it when you say my name.”

It was true. Kalim's chest felt like it would explode the moment Jeanne said his name, the word sounding so melodic and he felt giddy because he knew she was speaking so beautifully about him and no one else. His heart felt warm and he couldn't help but smile.

Jeanne looked at him again, his red eyes forcing her to give in once more. She sighed, before she opened her mouth: “Kalim.”

And he smiled, and giggled, and kissed her knuckles. He looked at her as if she was the most precious jewel, and Jeanne felt at a loss for words.

She has no idea how on earth she's going to take advantage of him now.

u rlly said "i can show you the world" when wrote this scenario.

i need a moment, a minute even...

GIMME AN HOUR.

I NEED TO CRY.

THIS IS SO MAGICAL- IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT.

IT FELT LIKE WATCHING ALADDIN FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN.

CHILLS, LITERALLY CHILLS.

i need them to kiss. mah. i need them to kiss rn. plsplsplsplsplsplsplspslplspls.

THIS IS SO AAAAAAA I LOVE IT JEANNE AND KALIM MY BELOVEDSSS

[artisticmenace]

PROSHIPPERS DNI I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!

Other DNIs below.

im approachable and you should talk to me. cue hypnosis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello, dear friends and accociates. Welcome to the normal info section.

hiii. I'm tabs. I'm suuuper gay(asexual panromantic). I'm also an artist. Any scorn or prejudice will be promptly ignored. Criticism will be looked over as long as its constructive.

Status:

dude i AM the stress ball

About me:

I have a bunch of OCs, and I'm writing so many (unfinished)books... Yeah, that's right. I like to suffer and die creatively TWICE!! I can not be helped. I'm just goofy like that sometimes. I hate most non canon ships for fandoms im in, but I'll probably just go "ew" and leave you alone(depends on the ship, really). I haven't been tested for autism or ADHD but enough things line up, so I'm like 80% sure. The 20% is self-doubt. I like to dress fancy, and my general look is deep woods cottagecore that has recently drank from the lake of maximalism. You won't see pictures of me, probably, because my room is NOT clean. Sometimes, I vent on here, but that's because I am the only demographic this blog needs. I love you, too, but your feelings are only being considered a little bit. I use tone tags every now and then if I feel I would be misunderstood. On that note, I am more likely to ignore or ask for clarification if you say something rancid or silly than get on your ass about it.

Those Days:

I'm gonna be making a comic called Those Days about a small town old gay couple, Scott and Rodney, telling their life's story. They've been friends since their sophomore year in high school, and they've seen a lot. Scott was a punk, to say the least.

For the actual comic, you'll need to thosedayscomic, the blog I made for the comic.

^^ I'm currently working on the first issue. I do have lots of art of them though.

Tags for my comic:

those days, those days comic. also any character names first and last.

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Current Fixations:

Camp Here and There (Waiting for S2)

Welcome to Night Vale (all caught up)

The Magnus Archives (help)

The Magnus Protocol (screaming)

Good Omens (SYD ASYDIC IM GOING TO GUILLOTINE YOU)

Gravity Falls (fan for a while and now ive read through the book of bill. cryifn)

What's Currently Crippling:

good omens is going to kill me. i will never be able to think of anything else what the hell

Also:

I love interaction! I will always discuss my interests, and l o r e when asked. In other words, PLEASE TALK TO ME !!!

If you want to use my art for your pfp go ahead, just credit me.

Don't repost my art. Please and thankies.

i use ibispaintx btw and i watch the ads for my brushes

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Art Requests/Asks: Open!!

Art Trades: Open!!

DMs: Open(as long as you arent a creep or an asshole obviously)

(cant do commissions because the world hates me but dont be shy to trade me. not particular on what i get back as long as i made someone happy. cause it feels amazing to see something i did made someone happy)

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DNI LIST because I'm a little hater:

proshippers (what the fuck. what the actual fuck. fictional or not.)

active members of the hazbin/helluva fandom(if i am reminded of that shitshow when you interact with my page UTAFSHBDBDBDJNSJAGAHAOSHHAGA)

racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, etc

pro-israel.

18+ blogs (a whole minor)

those problematic "sexualities" (ex. super straight, MAP, zoosexual)(also RCTA what the fuck)

people who fake disabilities/mental illness

people who actively misuse words that describe mental illnesses even though they are well informed about that sort of thing

those fucking people who ruin pretty houses and antique furniture and old clothing. fuck you.

people who write smut about canonically sex repulsed asexual characters(jonathan sims) and just people who decide they dgaf about anything like that. bi-erasure, aro-erasure. anything erasure. i hope youre having a terrible day.

sydelijah shippers get out.

(this one is unserious) people who dont deadname twitter

PRO HOA YOU DONT EVEN BELONG ON TUMBLR FUCK YOU I HOPE MY FUTURE SOMEWHAT UNATTAINABLE MAXIMALIST HOME PISSES ON YOUR BABY

people who are mean to me. i havent had any yet but just in case. if you disagree with my take, thats ok bc you arent the demographic for my blog. I AM!!!! /silly srs

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Here's my sick tags:

artisticmenace - anything that is a post by me

menaceartisticity - art and art related things

themenaceuseswords- text posts. i say shit sometimes.

themenacerants - my new tag for when i lose my shit

menaceencouragement - words of solace and encouragement from me

menacepoetry - poetry/songs yeah. probably sad stuff cause im miserable sometimes

menacescrawling - writing. oh buddy boy.

menacemusicality - im a choir kid what do you want from me

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Thank you, I love you.

going to collect these things because why not

credits, top to bottom:

butterscotch-goat

cowboyinternist (2)

[wasflypaw]

Alsooooo I'm gonna list some of my old fandoms to see if any of my followers Also liked those things, just in case I wanna revisit them or draw art for them

My Little Pony, Warrior Cats (Special Interest of 12 years) Undertale, Deltarune, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Danganronpa, (I liked it as a Teenager, cant rlly see it the same way anymore as an Adult looking back but.) Steven Universe, Neko Atsume, Gravity Falls, Doki Doki Literature Club, cant remember any more but there Probably was more . I do like The Owl House recently

Keep in Mind I havent touched most of these things w the Exception of WC for like Years especially after becoming an Adult, the DSMP has been my Only fixation since 2020

Edit: How could I forget Minecraft. That's just been a regular thing in my life for so long now that it didnt even occur to me that it's its own game with it's own fandom

Edit Edit: Forgot 3rd Last and Double Life and also Hermitcraft and Empires. I dont know How. I think I was trying too hard to remember fandoms I was in as a teen 😭

With the Life series I enjoy pretty much everyone in it n can watch every POV but i do end up defaulting to Lizzie and Joel content in general

[cedar-treetea]

DNI: Basic DNI criteria, NSFW accounts, and folks under the age of 13

INTERACTION HEADS UP:

• I swear often at times and can be vulgar. These instances are usually paired with tone indicators to assure that miscommunications are avoided as often as possible.

• Slurs do not make me uncomfortable if they are used in a reclaimed sense. As long as they are not intended to harm, insult, or degrade others you are allowed to use them around me. However, as someone who can reclaim most common slurs I DO NOT say them. It is out of respect for both myself and others.

• The content that I post has the potential to be graphic. This includes blood, gore, sensitive topics, body horror, malnutrition, and more. These posts WILL have TRIGGER WARNINGS included first thing. My serious content is generally 13+ but I recommend 14+, please take that into account and stay comfortable!

• I am not afraid to be direct and do not often take things lightly when they come off as disrespectful. Respect me and I will respect you!

—

The name is Cedar!

I’m a self taught digital artist and animator going on 5 years. I make a lot of my own worlds and characters! World/character building is a huge comfort and I often find enjoyment in it.

Things I love!:

• My main fixation is Five Nights at Freddy’s, it has been since the game first came out. I ADORE rambling about it, especially with my AU.

• Other things I throughly enjoy are Omori, Welcome Home, The Magnus Archives, Rick and Morty, Gravity Falls, The Dragon Prince, High on Life, Superliminal, Minecraft, Subnautica, The Long Dark, Pokémon, Bee and Puppycat, Inside Job, B99, and more.

• Rabbit holes I enjoy falling down include true crime, ARGs, biology, ocean abyss research, phenomenons, writing, and random wikipedia pages that I stumble across.

I hope you enjoy your stay, don’t stray too far from here.

The outskirts aren’t so hospitable

[golden--doodler]

Random facts about my Gravity Falls OCs Maggie and Sydney (they're girlfriends :3) that absolutely no one asked for because I'm in a certain mood. I'm probably going to end up doing this again later with my Mission Impossible OC like I teased in that earlier post:

Maggie Pines

--The most Lesbian to ever Lesbian. Seriously, she can give any Queer person a run for their money. Anyone talking about liking guys legitimately fascinates her sometimes because of how foreign it is to her.

--She first discovered her Lesbianness because Mabel was watching the movie How Did They Set Up Manny Mongoose? (which is a spoof on Who Framed Roger Rabbit?) and the gorgeous wife of Manny Mongoose, Joanne Mongoose (supposed to be Jessica Rabbit) appeared for the first time. She was enthralled.

--She's the oldest triplet and doesn't let Dipper and Mabel forget it. She may have been born only five minutes before Mabel and ten minutes before Dipper, but it still very much counts in her eyes.

--Was born with six fingers on each hand (postaxial polydactyly) and while she thinks it can be fun sometimes (it's actually made her better at video gaming than the average person) she's actually quite insecure about it.

--Has horrendous eyesight. She's been wearing glasses since the first grade. However, she's never needed braces like Mabel.

--Has asthma, but has never let it hold her back from being an extremely active person. She loves exercise, which is bad news for her lungs.

--Her favorite food is Pad Thai and her least favorite food is Curry. She could have a good bowl of Pad Thai any day of the week.

--Has undiagnosed, fairly high functioning Autism, which has led her throughout her life to not understand social cues very well (and just social interaction in general), has a hard time getting excited about things that aren't related to her special interests (mainly science), and just in general is always stimming in subtle ways. She gestures when she talks like there's no tomorrow, and tends to repeat things a lot, too.

--Yes, she's started getting her Period already. And yes, she has the biggest mood swings while she's on it out of anyone. Whenever it happens, she just needs to be locked away in a restroom by herself with some scented candles and music.

--Is allergic to syrup (it gives her pretty severe, uncomfortable hives that take a long time to go away).

--Is left-handed and very proud of it.

--Is a hardcore Ravenclaw.

Sydney Strange

--She's very Pansexual. She's known ever since she was quite young because whenever she talked to someone and started to like them, she realized how she never cared about or fixated on anyone's gender. All she cared about was if they were a good person or not, and if they could make her laugh. Having a sense of humor is an integral trait for a partner in her eyes.

--She's the adopted daughter of Tad Strange, the joke character from The Stanchurian Candidate. Yes, really.

--Her personality is the polar opposite of Tad's. She's a bit mischievous, is always up for an adventure, and is always prepared for some sort of potential natural disaster. She would be the type to seek out danger and just in general be a lot more reckless if it weren't for him.

--One of her favorite memories was when Tad finally let her take rock climbing lessons. However, she eventually got a bit bored with it because of how many harnesses were used. So, she began free-climbing all of the walls. This led to her falling one day, and she would've been seriously injured or worse if it weren't for the protective mats. She got a big earful about that afterward.

--She's Half-Salvadorian on her birth mother's side, and Half-African American on her birth father's side, which led to her having very dark skin. She also has startlingly green eyes.

--She's actually red-green colorblind but is able to pass as a regularly sighted person very well in her day-to-day life, to the point where almost no one notices unless she tells them. Her favorite color is blue because it's the color she can see and point out the most clearly.

--She has undiagnosed ADHD, which has led to her not doing very well in school, unfortunately. She's incredibly disorganized, forgetful, and hyper-talkative, which made school a huge challenge. And despite being a social butterfly, and being around other kids one of the only aspects of school she liked, she wasn't very popular and didn't have very many friends growing up.

--Despite her bravery, she actually has pretty severe Thalassophobia (fear of the ocean) and doesn't know how to swim. Even thinking about treading really deep water can trigger a mild panic attack. That's because she has a general fear of how vast and seemingly neverending the ocean is and because she got lost while trying to swim in the ocean when she was very young, and almost had a run-in with a shark.

--Despite her fear of the ocean, she's incredibly fascinated by space and the stars. She's the type to enjoy reading about astrological signs, and even used to want to be an astronaut when she was younger. That dream faded over time, though. This fascination with space led to Science Fiction being her favorite genre. She adores movies like The Thing.

--Is very skilled at playing the guitar, but is incredibly shy when people ask her to play. She eventually worked up the courage to play in front of Maggie, who enjoyed it a ton.

--Is Ambidextrous! She favors her left hand, though.

--She's a Gryffindor!

[arotechno]

Jughead (2015), Issues 7-8: Discussion and Commentary

Boy oh boy am I excited to talk about this arc!! These two issues hold a very special place in my cold little aro heart.

(By the way, do you see that? I managed to get a digital copy from my library via Hoopla, which means you are spared from my shitty phone grabs. I’ll fix the previous post, don’t worry. Try clicking on the screenshots if tumblr blurs them. And try Hoopla, if you’ve got a library card and have been looking to read these.)

Fed up with him sitting around the house playing video games all summer, Mr. Jones forces Jughead to get out of the house and do something outside. Jughead finds Archie at the pool where he’s working as a lifeguard, and convinces him to take time off to go camping in the woods with him at their friend Dilton’s cottage.

They take Archie’s car out to the woods, only to find that the lake is overrun with Reggie’s over-the-top relatives at the Mantle family reunion. Horrified, Jughead and Archie go out on a hike to get away. This is where things go downhill—literally.

Jughead calls Archie out for his growing fixation with Veronica Lodge, whose father is the one trying to clear out Fox Forest. Archie immediately goes on the defensive, but Jughead, understandably, really doesn’t get it. And here’s where we see that this is a divide that has been brewing between them for quite some time, even if Archie seemingly had no idea it was happening.

The boys end up getting lost, which only serves to fuel their frustrations. It occurs to Jughead, some time later, that the lake they’re camping at is not that far from Camp Lucey, an all-girls summer camp. Shocked and hurt, he accuses Archie of only agreeing to go on the trip to pick up girls, and not to hang out with him. He tackles Archie and they tumble down a hill into the woods below.

This is a really interesting story, from an aro’s perspective. Jughead can’t relate to Archie’s teenage obsession with girls, and it isn’t something they can bond over like other friends may have been able to do. On a simple level, all Jughead really wants to do is hang out with his best friend, just the two of them, just like old times—back when they were younger, before Archie’s interest in girls seemed to take over his every waking moment. Importantly, Jughead never objects to Archie’s romantic pursuits on principle (he does have an issue with Veronica, but that has to do more with her father’s actions than her). It isn’t that he wants to stand in the way of Archie’s happiness—he just feels left behind, and that’s something I think a lot of aromantic people, teenagers especially, can resonate with.

Eventually, Archie and Jughead run into Mr. Weatherbee of all people, who begrudgingly offers to help lead them back to camp. It’s at this point that we get one of my favorite moments in the entire series, one that I have waxed poetic about on this blog before and probably will again.

Archie insists that he is in fact here to hang out with Jughead, and that he’s just being dramatic. Jughead, on the other hand, insists that Archie’s the one being dramatic with his love triangle problems, to which Archie replies:

“Look, I’m not going to apologize for being a normal guy, I—”

And Jughead’s reaction to those words has stuck with me since the first time I read this. He’s shocked, hurt, and clearly a little angry that Archie would say something like that. And it’s a subtle moment, one that you might not even feel the gravity of if you didn’t know that Jughead was aro. What’s most important here, though, isn’t Jughead’s reaction, but the fact that Archie is clearly in the wrong, and he knows it. He tries to backtrack immediately (“Jughead! I didn’t mean it like that! Wait!”), but Jughead ignores him, as Mr. Bee has already gotten them lost again.

This singular page is, to me, a deeper and more nuanced portrayal than many works with “on-the-page” canon aromantic characters. This arc isn’t about Jughead being aro (in fact, none of the comics particularly are). But this is a meaningful incorporation of Jughead’s orientation into his daily life and his relationships with other people—namely, with his best friend. Although Jughead is being somewhat harsh with Archie, never does the narrative place him in the wrong for feeling abandoned, hurt, or angry because of Archie’s words and actions. Even Archie, his best friend, is capable of saying things that hurt him, and his words in this scene are never excused or justified by the narrative.

It also means a lot to me that Archie apologizes the second he gets the chance to, and that Jughead is quick to forgive him and explain that he just misses the time before Archie was so obsessed with girls. I wouldn’t want the story to just turn into a feud between them. You know when you’re on a trip with your friends and you get lost and you’re tired and frustrated you just end up airing your grievances and coming out of it with a new understanding of your friendship while trying to solve the mess you’re in? That’s what this arc is.

Anyway, after a run-in with Reggie’s relative and Mr. Weatherbee’s old high school bully Ted Mantle, the trio manage to make it out of the woods—after several hours of walking until the sun has come up. There, they find that Camp Lucey has actually been renamed, and is now a camp for elementary school girls, where Betty happens to be working. So after all of that, Archie just ends up making a fool of himself, like usual. Mr. Bee’s wife drives over to rescue them and brings the boys back to Dilton’s cottage, where she remarks that she’s heard a lot about Archie and Jughead, and that they’re inseparable.

At its core, this is a story about friendship. It’s about the difficulties that come with realizing you can’t always relate to each other, and you can’t always read each other’s minds, and you sometimes say the wrong thing without meaning to. It’s a story about growing up, but not necessarily growing apart, and being able to reconcile your differences.

Archie assumes that after all of their bickering, Jughead would just want to go home and not hang out with him anymore. But turning back now would be contrary to what Jughead wanted in the first place, which was just to hang out with his best friend.

All’s well that end’s well, and Jughead and Archie patch things over and vow that they will always be best friends. It’s a wholesome moment, and reflects a common struggle for aspec teens that I rarely see addressed in media, if at all. Sometimes, it feels like your friends are all moving on without you, and sometimes they don’t even realize it when they’ve been neglecting your friendship. It takes communication to work these things out, and I’m happy to see that illustrated here.

This arc is my favorite, I think, and there’s reasons for that even outside of the aspects I’ve already detailed here. The kids getting lost in the woods on summer vacation is a fun way of framing the deeper story, and there are a lot of funny and endearing moments in these two issues. (Archie falls on his face, a lot, and Mr. Weatherbee is stoically exasperated with both of their antics.)

These are the last issues written by Chip Zdarsky. So shoutout to him for some of the most nuanced representations of aromanticism in fiction to date, even if he never wrote the word down on the page (I’ll get to that, don’t worry). But these are the first issues illustrated by Derek Charm, whose art style I love (no offense Erica Henderson), and the rest of the volume has a lot of other good aro moments in store. Until then, here’s himbo Archie:

See? Pure of heart, dumb of ass. You can’t be mad at him for long. (He falls into a hole later on the same page.)

Yeah, me too.

[with-my-murder-flute]

Sometimes you just have a really intense week and can’t stop thinking about how much trauma Lan Sizhui experienced by the time he was 5 and how being the Very Best Boy isn’t always healthy and then you need to write Lan Wangji the child psychologist and his incredibly anxious foster-son, y’know?

---

Bunny is on time-out again.

"You have to behave,” A-Yuan says in the voice of the potato-head, packing accessories into its body and shoving it into the bed of a soft plastic truck. “You get in the car now.” The Barbie van is already full, with a dinosaur and a fingerpuppet and one of the new larger Lego figures, and all their carefully packed luggage. A-Yuan does that. Over and over again, for each of his toys, he methodically packs and unpacks luggage. It’s his most common form of play, but not the most enjoyable.

A-Yuan’s breathing is rapid and shallow, so much so that he takes little gasps when he talks to himself. Routinely, predictably, he’s calmer when he turns away from the dollhouse. He’s most collected when selecting items to put into luggage, deciding on pieces of felt and Barbie shoes, but even with the vehicles he can lose himself enjoying the movement and progress of the cars. But underneath it all, there’s a jerkiness to his movements and a certain disconnected quality in his speech and body language that tells Lan Wangji that he’s pretty distressed.

It’s a step forward that Bunny is out at all, Lan Wangji knows. A behaviour therapist at A-Yuan’s last preschool made it a point to extinguish comfort-seeking behaviour towards the toy, which was becoming both careworn and grubby. A-Yuan’s had it at least since he was fourteen months old; it was with him when he came into care. Maybe his birth mother gave it to him. A-Yuan has obediently derogated the toy; if it’s left lying out, he can usually be trusted to throw it into a corner to prove what a big, grown-up boy he is.

Lan Wangji has very carefully gauged his son’s limits of tolerance for some things. When the car ride begins, he waves slightly and says, “Have a nice trip,” which makes A-Yuan glance back at him nervously, but it’s just mild enough, just unemotional enough, just tolerable enough, that it doesn’t provoke too much emotion. A-Yuan can keep pushing his vehicles around, and feel safe enough to drive one into Lan Wangji’s foot. He doesn’t persevere at that point, though; the trip has culminated and he gets up and walks to where he can see down the hallway to the front door, then wanders over to the slide.

A hundred million years ago, Lan Wangji thought he’d be a genetics researcher, like his uncle. Then he thought he’d be a neuroscientist, like his undergraduate thesis advisor. Then he thought he’d be a psychologist like his brother, who focuses entirely on assessment and the development of psychometric tools. For a little bit in grad school, he thought he’d counsel adults, like Wei Wuxian, until a classmate told Wei Wuxian that Dialectical Behavioural Therapy was “objectively badass” and he developed a fixation Lan Wangji could not follow. In retrospect his career path is absolutely obvious, resonating clearly through every bone of him, but it took him a very long time to realize he ought to work with children. It’s a little shocking that he, who was so bad at being a child, feels so prepared to be a father.

He smiles when A-Yuan looks at him anxiously from the slide, the moment of uncertainty as he lets go and begins sliding down triggering the need for reassurance. Lan Wangji is always waiting for that glance, waiting to return it. At A-Yuan’s last placement he’d been assessed as having an avoidant/dismissing attachment style, and despite its uncharitable and parent-shaming nature Lan Wangji can’t help but agree with what his husband had muttered over that one: “Were the parents even trying?”

The most vital task, and the hardest, is being present in the moment with a child. Not worrying about the future, not concerned with the past, not preoccupied with an external standard. He’s surprisingly bad at performing objective assessments with children, because he can see how unfair they all are. His greatest facility is something he built for himself, brick by painstaking brick: the willingness to sit with discomfort, and have faith that the chaos will not remain chaos. All his years of meditation have cultivated a still eye to see the world from, and the faith that patience and compassion will see him through.

Still smiling, still watching A-Yuan, Lan Wangji moves closer to the dollhouse. He carefully stars arranging its contents, righting knocked-over furniture and returning blankets to little wooden beds. He takes out a shark figurine, a couple of doll clothes, then puts Bunny on the floor near his shin. When A-Yuan comes close, magnetically drawn away from the slide, Lan Wangji reaches behind himself for the tea set they were using earlier, arranging cups and plates in front of him as though they’re going to have another tea party. He leaves the placement of the cups ambiguous; it’s not like Bunny is specifically invited, but there is a suggestive proximity, the way the other cup is in proximity to the shark. A-Yuan takes the teapot, and Lan Wangji solemnly holds his cup out while A-Yuan pours. For the sake of the ritual he accepts milk and refuses sugar and mimes stirring his invisible ingredients before taking a sip.

When A-Yuan is done drinking, Lan Wangji turns to Bunny, lifting a cup, and asks, “Would you like some tea?” A-Yuan noticed the moment that Lan Wangji’s hand moves, but as he addresses the rabbit A-Yuan seems to lose interest, which is to say, he slightly dissociates; blink and you missed it, but his eyes go a little glassy, he looks away, and then he acts on the adrenaline and gets up and wanders away.

The current theory about Bunny is like the theory of gravity, which is to say, it’s definitely pretty certain but it never hurts to be humble when it comes to knowledge. It’s honestly a little more speculative and psychodynamic than Lan Wangji is truly comfortable with, and A-Yuan’s case manager, possibly a little defensive over the last preschool placement, absolutely refuses to consider the possibility. But it still feels as essential and true as which way is up that Bunny performs the vital task of holding all the parts of A-Yuan that he blames for making the adults he cares about disappear. Bunny holds both the neediness and the hope for comfort that were so painful, his son shut them down in order to survive. Bunny was how A-Yuan mediated that desire, the source of his comfort, until he was three and a half, and the behaviour therapist.

A-Yuan knew his foster parents didn’t like him being disorganized and distressed and clingy, that they’d rather he behaved more like a six-year-old than four. Which he could, sometimes, because he had a ferocious intelligence which put him cognitively ahead of his emotional development. But he, well... adapted a little too quickly, one might say. Learned his lesson a little too well. Now they’re trying to reignite the behaviours that were extinguished.

Lan Wangji takes a risk, while A-Yuan is pulling picture books off the lower shelf, and lifts Bunny to his shoulder like a colicky infant. He doesn’t do anything else, aside from stroking the rabbit’s fur. He leaves it in place, with a little guiding help from his hand, when A-Yuan brings a Franklin book over and climbs into his lap, demanding to be read to. With interest he notes, halfway through the story, that Lan Wangji holding and petting Bunny doesn’t distress A-Yuan; as the story arc gets as exciting as Franklin books ever do (which is not, to be clear, a criticism) A-Yuan turns in his arms long enough to distractedly reach up and pet Bunny too, before turning back and trying to grab the book for himself.

Wondering how far he can push this, he keeps Bunny in place on his shoulder when they leave the room to check the clock, and A-Yuan goes to the living-room window to watch the street for Wei Wuxian. He looks curiously when Lan Wangji leans down to dig the remote out between the couch cushions, but easily redirects when Lan Wangji turns on the TV and goes to prepare dinner. Having the show on limits his anxious glances out the window to three or four a minute only, instead of sustained attention followed by a meltdown if he had to wait more than five minutes.

Lan Wangji thinks it would be easier to keep Bunny in place, on his shoulder like a dishtowel, if he had weighted plastic beads in his extremities, or if he was velcroed. He’s wary of changing anything about such a strong comfort object, though, so he just learns to move and stand differently to keep the rabbit from constantly falling off.

A-Yuan greets Wei Wuxian with the kind of terrified delight that looks like general indifference if you don’t know better; he runs over, stands uncertainly within arm’s reach of Wei Wuxian’s legs, and then dodges away before Wei Wuxian can reach down to him. Lan Wangji helpfully muted the show when he heard the door open--it gives A-Yuan the space to sit with his back to the room and self-regulate while the adults say hello.

“New friend?” his husband asks finally, an eyebrow raised.

“Modelling it as appropriate,” Lan Wangji says. “I thought perhaps he could tolerate us demonstrating that it is not discouraged.”

“Nice rabbit, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says seamlessly, in a voice meant to be heard from the couch. “I like it. Makes me wish I had a rabbit.”

“They are very good friends,” Lan Wangji agrees. “This one is not mine, but he is keeping me company.”

“Nice,” Wei Wuxian agrees. “Maybe whoever you borrowed him from will let him hang out with me sometime.”

Their audience does not comment on this, but they didn’t need him to. Wei Wuxian sets the table while Lan Wangji cooks. A-Yuan’s palate is still pretty limited, so he’s used to making three separate elements of one meal, and can live with cutting up cooked hot dog into little coins so long as he doesn’t have to eat them himself. They just supplement their kid’s diet with a multivitamin.

A-Yuan looks askance enough, when dinner is ready, that Lan Wangji takes Bunny off his shoulder and asks, “Where should he sit while we eat?”

There is a fourth chair, albeit completely out of proportion, but he doesn’t dare try it. Instead A-Yuan thinks for a minute, and points to the kitchen counter behind the table. Lan Wangji props Bunny up against the wall, observing dinner if not participating, and after a second to think, A-Yuan accepts this as normal and climbs into his chair. He is meticulously well-behaved.

Lan Wangji aches for his son, and hopes one day he’ll feel confident enough in their love to break the rules around them.

They eat.

[nayarablueglasses]

requested: no

a/n: hahah i found this in my drafts. mannnnn it’s been AGES since my gravity falls fixation. i didn’t proof read this, so i apologize for any spelling mistakes.

(divider credits to @firefly-graphics​)

summary: you go on a short walk with stanford in the middle of the night and he offers to adopt you.

warnings/genre: fluff, the ending is left open, stanford and you are an insomniac, man it’s weird reading over stuff i wrote when i was cis.

reader pronouns: unspecified/gn, which amuses me because i believe firmly that the entire cast of gravity falls would think using they/them pronouns is the lesser of new things they’ve had to encounter this summer.

There was a knock on my door, causing me to jump in surprise, and the book fell out of my lap onto the floor with a soft thud. Grumbling, I threw off my blankets and got out of bed, quickly stooping down to grab the book again, before opening the door. With a yawn, I complained, “Stanley, do you know how late it is? I’m still reading my-” I stopped myself with a laugh, then continued, “Sory, Ford. I didn’t realize it was you. Normally Stan is the one bothering me at disturbing hours of the day and night.”

Stanford chuckled softly, careful to keep his voice down. “Yes, my apologies for waking you up- or rather, disturbing your quiet. Especially at this quite ghastly time.” He smiled at me, leaning on the doorframe a bit, and I smiled back. His red turtleneck looked rather nice, snuggled inside of his light tan-brown trench coat. Trench coat, with more style.

He adjusted his glasses, almost nervously, before quietly asking, “I was wondering, would you want to come outside on a walk with me?” I raised my eyebrow. That was a strange thing to ask, at…

I checked my alarm clock. 2Am. More specifically, 2:47 AM. It was still dark outside. I pondered for a minute, weighing my options, but really it was a no-brainer. “Let’s go!” I grinned, pulling on a sweater that I kept hung on the back of my door. Ford looked both relieved and delighted, the last expression I likely mirrored.

The Mystery Shack looked very different at night. The shadows loomed in every direction, and without the tourists around, it was easy to see the electrical blue lights flickering around the vending machine, and hear it’s eerie buzz. The T-rex skull that we used as a coffee table leered at us with a nasty smirk as we passed by. My socked feet made little sound as I padded through the house, and Ford stepped lightly on the floorboards. Here and there, I heard quiet creaking sounds coming from the walls, but there was never anything behind me. Nonetheless, I checked every time.

Pausing at the door to put on my shoes and locate my scarf, I followed Stanford out the back door. Crisp winter night air bit at my nose, and the sounds of feet breaking layers of day-old snow could be heard as I caught up. Even through my scarf, I could feel the cold wind on my cheeks and see my breath clouding. With a shiver, I shoved my gloveless hands deep into my pockets before coming to a halt.

Next to me, Ford had paused and was now gazing at the sky. When I followed his gaze, my eyes widened and I gasped. Brightly lit against the dark void of black were the stars. They were… “Oh…” I whispered. They were beautiful, gorgeous… I understood the term “starstruck” now. I stayed up late, almost never getting enough sleep, just sitting in my room, when this was happening outside? When the night air filled me with such energy, and had such a heavy feel of nostalgia and mystery surrounding it? I felt like I was simply breathing the excitement, as the stars and planets continued to twinkle at me. My breath caught once again when, silently, Ford pointed out a trail of white blazing its way across the sky, almost as impossible to see with so many other bright dots of white littered amongst and alongsides it. *A shooting star…?*

Quickly, so as not to miss any more of the stars than I already had, I closed my eyes and made a swift wish, lips moving without sound. *I wish…* My eyes flew open with a childlike smile, and I continued to take it all in. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ford tilt his head everslightly to glance at me, and his eyes twinkled just the way the stars did. There was a look of pure contentment on his face.

We stood together like that for a long while before Stanford checked his watch and broke the silence. “(Y/N)...” He said, placing his hand on my shoulder gently. His next words broke me out of my reverie. “I want to adopt you.”

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

it should’ve been you

summary: you and spencer never got along since you joined the bau, mostly because you made a mistake that costed the life of one of his colleagues. 

word count: 3,761                                                                                     reading time aprox: 15 mins

masterlist

“Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts.” said Nikki Giovanni. Although the expression only extends to the limitation of ending someone else’s life because of a mistake. With the existing dichotomy of religious patrons adherent to celestial beings and men of psychology claiming that trauma and fault can enhance cognitive development, the question still stands whether the slight improvement in the human schema is worth the life of an individual. 

Why is the essential nature of living ‘to flourish in someone else’s misfortune’?

Is it so, once they’ve experienced this misfortune they can be placed in the shoes of the fortunate soul, with the inability to recall their previous position; causing another individual to fall into the paradigm?

This philosophy is circumstantial, spontaneous even, pertaining to life itself no matter what socioeconomic standing you hold or religious scripture that you accredit. Regrettably, this philosophy stripped the BAU of an agent and the team, of a colleague. 

At its core, it was my fault. I was the lucky son of a bitch that flourished in his misfortune. 

Despite most of the team seemingly differing this proclamation, it was my choices that led a man to be deprived of the life ahead of him. The only other individual who didn’t side with the rest of the team was Spencer Reid. 

Agent Ryler, Darrison Ryler is was a single man who lived in his eclectic condo with the accompaniment of his golden retriever, Sam. He served as a confident to the team, specifically to Spencer according to my observations of their relationships prior to the incident.  

He died an honorable and ardent man, even in the most grotesque situations his concern only derived from the conditions of his partners. For 10 years he’s served the BAU, only for a rookie as myself to completely decimate his entire life’s meaning by killing him in the field. 

-

“Ryler, you and Morgan flank the left side, we’ll file in after” Hotch ordered signaling to a door with corroded blue paint chipping off that was located at the end of the hallway we were posted at. 

The supposed unsub lived in Manhattan, NY and was responsible for the homicide of five women that resembled his late wife. The unsub had been categorized as a sexual sadist in the midst of a psychotic break, deriving from denial. 

The SWAT team lingered behind us, awaiting orders from the team leader. The atmosphere of the situation penetrated my nerves, causing a natural sense of uneasiness from my parasympathetic, fight or flight, nervous system. Moonlight infiltrated through the ragged curtains that hung above a window at the end of the hall, which seemed to be slightly ajar; letting crisp air into the corridor. 

I could already feel the little fibers of hair on the back on my neck stand, an obvious indication of my apprehension. Despite that signal, I was determined to follow through with the decision I’ve fought for. To elaborate, it was me who had convinced Hotch to let me journey into apprehending the unsub regardless of my inexperience of being physically out in the field with the team. 

-

I was naive and selfishly driven to expose myself to such an atmosphere I thought I was ready for. I pushed and pulled to expedite my training in order to fulfill my hero complex. Nevertheless, I never consider the possibility of killing a man to satisfy that. 

-

Morgan had completely obliterated the door as it was now swaying from it’s hinges. Ryler followed him from behind, gun pointed at his surroundings as he announced he was FBI. 

The rest of the team filed in, SWAT included. Reid had entered after me as we both surveyed the perimeter. Hotch nodded at us, pointing Reid one way and me the other. As I left to inspect other areas of the apartment of the unsub, the shuffling of feet emitted from the loud stomps of the SWAT members increased my heart rate. I convinced myself that it was normal since it was my first time being out in the field. I swept the area, checking the master bedroom and bathroom with a few members of the SWAT, until we heard commotion in the living room. 

We hurried to the scene not wasting a breath to calm myself. When I had arrived the men that were with me had dispersed to shooting positions as I stood behind a wall that was directly adjacent to the unsub.

I had taken the opportunity to peek out, gauging the altercation and to my misfortune, the unsub had Agent Ryler in a choke hold with dagger lined up to the major artery in his throat. The unsub began spewing heinous accusations such as “you took her away from me” or  “you killed her, not me, you killed her you fucking pigs”. He screamed and shook, rationality draining from him as fast as the saliva gushed out from his lips. 

Hotch took the opportunity to calm the unsub down, playing at the factor of remorse he showed in his previous victims. Hotch sheathed his gun back to it’s holster, promptly raising his hands up in surrender while coaxing the violent man into dropping the weapon. 

Although these were fruitless attempts, the unsub grew to be more erratic as Hotch approached him. With this I made my presence known to Hotch, shifting to a better position to engage the unsub from behind. The rest of the team stood gawking at the entire scene with anticipation gnawing at their fingertips, agitating to shoot if necessary. 

I drew my gun out, my hands becoming slightly shaky from the anxiety that heightened when the reality of the situation came to mind. 

I might kill a man today

The unsub maintained his gaze at Hotch and the army of guns that surrounded him. “Fuck you, you fucking pigs. You killed her! You. Killed. My, Kerrie. Now one of yours will die!” He threatened, pressing the blade harder on Ryler’s skin earning a repressed wince from him. The men from the SWAT team cocked their weapons causing Hotch to command them to ‘stand down’. I met Hotch’s gaze again, a distinctive look flashed in his eyes, the hesitation clear on his face as he motioned for me to inch closer to the unsub. 

“Please, we just want to-” Rossi spoke up lifting his palm up as a symbol of sympathy, but in reality beckoned me to close in on the individual. 

“Shut up! Shu-shut the fuck up!” The unsub screeched, wiping his forehead with the arm that held the blade as he blinked rapidly. “Thi-this ends today, I-i, this is for my Kerrie!”

With one swift motion the unsub raised the knife to slice Ryler’s throat, but in a moment of weakness, Ryler was able to apprehend the man, overpowering his grip as he flipped their positions. 

“Y/N! NOW!” 

My surroundings moved in slow motion, similar to the speed of the slideshows Garcia would show us as she presented cases. My vision blotted, feeling every sweat droplet begin to dampen the palms of my hands. I felt every crevice of my body writhe in dread and apprehension, feeling the sudden weight of the weapon I gripped in my hands. I took in a breath, setting my eyes on the unsub. Finally, I squeezed the trigger, acknowledging the life that would be taken away. 

A loud bang and a grunt surged through the air

I closed my eyes expecting the gun to retaliate it’s force, yet I felt nothing. I opened my eyes to gauge at the scene before me, realizing that my gun hadn’t fired. 

-

I took a life that day, however it wasn’t the life I was expecting to take. Morgan had taken the shot to eliminate the unsub, but only after the unsub was able to plunge the dagger into Ryler’s pericardial cavity, nicking the side of his aortic wall. 

He bleed out on the scene. DOA.

I later figured out that my gun had been on safety the entire time we were infiltrating the, now deceased, unsub’s apartment. I could still hear Spencer’s cries of protest and disbelief when he grasped the gravity of the situation. But most of all, I can distinctively remember the menacing look he wore in his eyes as he fixated at me. The genuine enmity and contempt that swam in his pupils spoke the message that his lips couldn’t convey, it was an expression that you didn’t need an eidetic memory to recall. 

After that incident, Spencer did nothing but express his vexation at the very existence of my being. He ‘mindlessly’ knocks case files off of my desk occasionally, talks over my presentation of theories, and has undermined the suggestions I would pose during investigations.

It’s been approximately 6 months since the loss of Ryler and the mourning period seems to have curtailed over the course of the year. The heavy somber  air that was consistent in the bullpen began to dissipate and the fellow agents painted a more positive light on the life of Ryler, reminiscing on his various accolades. Despite this plateau, Spencer’s resentment hadn’t shown any modifications.  

We were on a plane routed to New York City, another homicide had taken place and there was evidence of the case being serial. Hotch was on the phone with the chief of the NYPD gathering new information that had surfaced about the unsub. Morgan wore his headphones loosely with his eyes closed, bobbing his head to 90s music while Emily and Rossi played a game of chess. 

Spencer on the other hand, had his nose in a book, his eyebrows furrowed as his long fingers dragged along the pages, scanning them at light speed. His bottom lip had become entangled between his teeth, chewing the muscle in deliberation. 

I sat across the jet, complementary to where Spencer resided. I fixated on the copy of Jane Eyre that I brought with me, although my mind had decided to overflow with a multitude of transpiring thoughts. 

“Okay, thank you very much chief, we’ll be landing soon” Hotch bid adieu, closing his cellphone and tossing the device on the table with a heavy sigh. “They just found another body” He announced, earning sympathetic and discontented stares from the team. “Kate Walsh, 36 years old, had a husband that worked in a law firm with two children. She was found dead at a Manhattan apartment on the Upper East Side” Hotch noticed the glances of the onlookers before him, although he spared a glimpse at a special brunette who practically harbored his face in a book. “It’s the same location where Ryler’s case took place 6 months ago” Hotch informed. 

Nobody dared to inspect the reaction that had been elicited from Spencer. Although his fingers grew noticeably rigid, imprinting the cover of the novel with discernible markings. His chest heaved as he took in the information, yet his composure remained cold and impervious to the circumstances. 

Morgan looked to Reid in equivocation before reverting his attention to Hotch. “Do you think there could be a connection to the case we worked there?” He inquired, sneaking another glance at Reid in the process. But to no avail, Reid remained motionless. 

“Possibly” Hotch returned, reciprocating the perturbed looks Morgan had directed. “This unsub has the same MO, same victimology, but different signature compared to the case we worked before” He reached over for the case files flipping through the images of the victims and laid them down at the table where he sat at. 

Emily had approached the table, looking over the images. “If you look at the stab wounds on the abdomen of the victim, doesn’t it look familiar to you?” She pointed to the punctures evident on the victim. 

“They resemble the wounds the unsub inflicted on women on the case we had with-” Rossi spoke, pausing mid sentence. “-when we worked that Manhattan case” His voice faded out, dwindling in apprehension to make any mentions of Ryler. 

“Yeah- and if you look at the depth of the wounds, they indicate hesitation marks-” Emily expressed. 

“Our unsub is remorseful” I butted in. 

“That contradicts with the excessive and deliberate overkill this unsub displayed” Spencer muttered, catching the attention of his teammates, although his immersion in his literature didn’t falter. 

“W-well, yeah, I’ll go to the station to start a geogra-”

“Actually, I’ll build the geographic profile for the case to ensure that more people don’t get killed by human error” Spencer disputed, directing his astringent words towards me without losing focus. 

“I guess I’ll go talk to the family of the victim” I stuttered, ducking my head behind my chair to avoid the questionable stares I knew were headed my way. An unrelenting hold tugged on my heart strings, my conscience spiraling in revelations of self resentment. 

“Actually, Y/N, me and Morgan had already contacted the family and said that we were going visit them soo-” Emily corrected, motioning to her and Derek with lamentable eyes. “But, if you really want you can-” She interjected, the tone of her voice exponentially growing to be amiable and motherly. 

“I think it’s better that you and Morgan go, Emily, so we can get an accurate profile on the guy. Maybe this time we can catch him early enough without going in guns blazing, it decreases the statistics for weapon mismanagement” Spencer suggested, this time laying his book flat on the seat next to him, peering at Emily as he insinuated the proceedings of last year’s case. 

“Reid” Hotch warned, a menacing tight lipped expression planted on his features. In defiance of the team leader’s cautioning, Spencer continued to antagonize the situation, justifying his response in order to cover up his personal agenda. 

Hotch sighed diffusing the latter of the interaction by distributing the rest of the details of the case and certain tasks that needed to be done. “Y/N I’m going to need you to go to the Coroner’s office and find out if there’s any new information or if any reports from forensics came back yet” Hotch ordered. 

I nodded in agreement, not meeting his gaze while I fidgeted with my fingers. Unbeknownst to me, the team, excluding Reid, shared a similar expression as they interpreted the tense atmosphere that encompassed the room. 

I picked at my fingers, pulling at various strings of loose skin at the bed of my nails. I bounced my knee in uneasiness, my thoughts beginning to revolve around the case we faced 6 months ago. The same memory of Reid’s apathetic eyes that were fixated on me replayed in my mind, making the feelings of self doubt resurface at the base of my skin. Anger flooded freely throughout my system as if it was welcome and well deserved. I clenched my fists around my novel, doing so in the same way Reid did. 

“At least this time she’ll be looking at dead people instead of causing them” Spencer mumbled under his breath. Despite his certainty in himself to be reticent, it didn’t seem to catch his realization that his chastising comment was coherent enough for the entire team to hear, including myself. 

“Okay, I get it, alright. It was my fault, it was my mistake that killed Ryler but you can’t just sit there alienating me from any case we work on-” 

“No, Y/N you don’t get it. You don’t get to justify you murdering Ryler because you couldn’t do your job” Spencer lashed out.

“Reid-” Hotch attempted to disrupt his malicious annotations, but was promptly shut down by Reid. 

“No Hotch. You always emphasized how important it is to be vigilant in our job, yet you let her inject herself in the investigation knowing she was completely incompetent in the field” 

“Spencer, I’m war-” Hotch was interrupted again by me this time. 

“I WAS TRYING TO BE A GOOD AGENT. Can’t you understand that Spence, I-” 

“Don’t fucking call me Spence” Spencer retorted gritting his teeth, venom practically dripping from his lips as he articulated his words. At this time he stood up from his chair with his chest heaving and hair tousled from running his hands through it. “You don’t get to call me Spence, Ryler called me Spence and you took that away from me, so don’t think you have any authority calling me that”. 

He began his stride towards me, only to be obstructed by Morgan’s arm that held him in his position. 

“Look Spencer, I know I can’t take back what I did and yes, I made a stupid decision-” I spoke coolly, dictating every syllable with an understanding and remorseful tone in order to diffuse the taut ambiance. “But, I’m sorry and I want you to know that I regret everything that I did” I explained. 

Spencer broke Morgan’s restraint on him, shoving his arm away forcefully as he took a few determined steps towards me. 

“Tell that to Mary Anne Ryler, Amina Ryler, and Timothee Ryler” 

“Spencer-”

He moved in closer.

“I had to walk up to their house and tell them that their brother/son had died in the line of work” He explained, setting his hands on the table in front of me. “I had to tell them that he died an honorable death and that he died protecting people” He stared at me with the same deadly eyes at the day of the incident, no sense of remorse palpable on his expression. 

“But he did die an honorable ma-” 

“NO Y/N! I LIED TO THEM” He slammed a firm hand on the tabletop, making the surface rattle as I did when the booming sound met my ears. I crouched down in my seat, feeling my silhouette diminish in his large shadow. 

“Now Reid that’s enough” Hotch bellowed, although he was unsuccessful in alleviating Reid’s onslaught of defaming words. 

“I WANTED TO TELL THEM THAT YOU KILLED HIM BECAUSE YOU DID FUCKING KILL HIM”. Spit flew from the corners of his mouth landing on the leather covers of the airplane seat. “YOUR MISTAKE KILLED HIM”

“IT. WAS. A. MISTAKE. REID” I retorted, feeling my blood begin to boil as Spencer scolded me. I stood up to his level, slamming my hands down to reciprocate the malicious gesture he had displayed previously. “I ALREADY BLAME MYSELF ENOUGH JUST BACK OFF!”

By this time, the rest of the team had readied themselves to intercept if our back and forth became violent. They were the audience of constant bickering that occurred between the two agents for quite some time now, but nothing has ever amounted or elevated to the dispute in front of them. 

“YOU BLAME YOURSELF?!” Spencer began to laugh in a patronizing matter. “YOU BLAME YOUR FUCKING SELF. That’s a fucking joke, well newsflash Y/N, YOU SHOULD!” 

“That doesn’t give you an excuse Rei-” 

“WELL YOU KNOW WHATS AN EXCUSE?” He pulled my chin with the tips of his fingers. “You. You’re a sorry ass excuse for an FBI agent” He whispered disdainfully through gritted teeth, butting my face away with an incredulous expression on his face. His eyes had completely blackened, the hazel hue that resided in his irises dissipating as they were clouded in animosity. 

My impulsivity became too much to subdue as my rising blood pressure took over what little rationality I had. Without thinking, my palm autonomously met Spencer’s cheek with a violent hit, causing him to stumble backwards with his face in his hands. 

The rest of the team jumped into action, separating the both of us. Morgan and Hotch coming to Spencer’s side as Emily and Rossi came to my aid. I maintained my attention to Reid, him doing the same, as we stared at each other with malevolent gazes. I noticed the pockets of blood surface on his cheek, a portion of his curls masking the prominent dark red tint forming on his visage. 

Emily asked of my condition, Rossi reciprocating the same questioning. I assured them of my state and encouraged them to believe that I was fine.

But I wasn’t. 

I could feel every nerve in my system rattle and shake. I felt every pore on my body excrete sweat from the hysteria that I experienced. My head pounded and my body felt like it was being pulled in numerous directions. I took a few shallow breaths to convince myself of a normal composure, but my eyes told the truth of my state. 

Emily wrapped a comforting arm around my waist to steady myself and to regain a sense of stability. Rossi maneuvered back to his seat, taking a second glance at Reid whilst shaking his head in discountenance. 

Silence engulf the jet, the hum of the engine combined with the shifting of the seats was the only sound to be heard. Soft murmurs came from the other side of the room where Morgan and Hotch spoke to Reid in attempt to console him. 

It had been a few minutes after the confrontation, the petulant air of the scene plateauing to a more reasonable space for conversation. I battled with the idea of speaking up, but something needed to be said. 

“Look Reid” I began, penance laced with every word that I spoke. “It was my fault, I made a mistake that costed Ryler’s life and I’m sorry. It’s something that I can’t take back and my job will always revolve around the mistake I made” I continued. 

No response

I took this as encouragement to sustain an explanation. “But with the mistake I made, I know that this will make me a better agent and that I’ll be able to save more lives out there” I sighed, feeling Emily’s hand grasp mine. “I’m sorry Spencer for all the pain and hurt I’ve caused you, but please let me do my job- or at least give me the opportunity to do my job” 

No response again. 

“I know you won’t forgive me, but I hope in time that-” 

“It’s you” He finally spoke up, meeting the line of my gaze. Although his was unreadable, expressionless almost. 

“What?” I ceased my apology, furrowing my eyebrows at him in confusion. 

Chills ran up my spine as I looked into the windows of his eyes. It was like staring into the mind of a serial killer. Uneasiness climbed it’s way back into my skin as I gripped on Emily’s hand. 

“It should’ve been you who died that day Y/N” He spat, disgust and hostility radiating off of him. 

“It should’ve been you”

part 2

-

A/N:

yes there will be a part two, I’m just finishing up requests atm ❤️❤️