#it’s been almost 5 months - what has changed? what work has been done?

[animazed]

what do i want out of life?

[hungharrington]

okay what are ur thoughts on challenging steve to edge himself everyday for no nut november 🫣 do you think he would make it through the entire month????

okay this turned into a whole rambling thought fic ??? a whole 3k of it?? this is hella unedited cos i'm running out the door so i'll be back to check for mistakes but enjoy some sub!steve & some sorta mean!reader, definitely a hint of a humiliation & exhibitionism kink so beware if that isn't your thing! enjoy u horny bastards MDNI this entire blog is 18+

the whole thing comes about because of a playful bicker.

it’s starts with talking about how long you’ve gone without sex— with steve insisting his dry spell before you two started fooling around was way longer and more difficult than yours.

and you had laughed and teased, cooing about how he could absolutely not make it through an entire week without cumming like you did for a whole month— while he insists the opposite is true.

and steve is nothing if not a competitive bastard who loves to try prove people wrong. so you challenge him to last the whole month — no cumming, no nothing.

but you don’t say no touching. and steve, poor, oblivious to the consequences he’s going to feel very soon, figures there’s no harm in giving in to his morning wood, rutting against his sheets with these quiet grunts until he gets bored and rolls out of bed. it’s something he’s done before and his hard-on goes down in the shower like usual & he goes to work far too smug, feeling so confident and ready to brag when he sees you.

you come into family video middle of the day and steve delights, ready to demolish the challenge you’ve set, bragging about his easy morning and his killer restraint.

your eyebrows raise and you look pleasantly surprised — not miffed, like steve hoped you would — and you offer to raise the stakes. leaning over one of the shelves as he works idly, you change the rules a bit… and set a prize if he’s to complete your challenge.

“if you go the whole month, no cumming, i’ll let you fuck me,” you hum, a wicked smile on your mouth at the way steve straightens up. you’ve been fooling around, tucking your hands into each others pants like horny teenagers but you haven’t actually slept together yet. “anywhere you want, any way you want,”

and steve is smarter than he looks, even as you can see this lust glazing over his eyes— options, so many options pour into his mind.

you in his car, in his lap, riding him and making those nice pitiful noises you do. you in his bed, beneath him, head thrown back in his sheets as you cry out. you, against the wall behind the family video, hidden away but only just, moaning into his hand as you try to keep quiet while you fall apart on his cock.

his cock begins to thicken in his pants just at the thought & steve shifts his weight.

“what’s the catch?” he asks.

“to make your challenge more difficult, you have to touch yourself every day of the month.”

“touch myself?”

“mhm,” you nod, eyes darting down to his bulge. your wicked grin grows at the sight of it growing in his jeans. “properly. not just a little touch, a proper jerk off. how long’s it take you to get hot and bothered? let’s say 5 minutes of stroking, each and every day.”

you’ve got this look in your face like you don’t think he can do it — so of course, steve takes the bait.

“easy.” he snips back, eyes narrowing. “hope you’ll spend the month getting prepared to take it. after a whole month of nothing? can’t promise i’ll be too gentle.”

your smile turns almost feline.

and so it begins. the first few days sail by, steve easily using his mornings in bed to stroke his cock idly, feeling his desire swell and then letting it swirl down the drain in a shower that gets colder every day. after the fifth day, steve has to admit it’s not nice — he can feel his mounting urge to cum building up but it’s not terrible. it’s certainly ignorable. he’s got this in the bag.

another five days pass— but now, he’s waking up aching hard. it takes longer now in the shower to get his hard-on to flag and worse when steve realises he has to still jerk off to win your challenge. his hand feels so much softer than usual and his keyed up lust springs to the surface to moment he starts to stroke himself— steve groans lowly, pressing his head against the tiles and tries go think of unpleasant things.

he fucks up on day 13.

his alarm goes off late and his dream had been lewd and vulgar, an endless loop of sinking his fat cock into you and envisioning how wet and warm you’d be around him. his cock is throbbing when he drags himself out of sleep and he realises he’s been humping against the mattress in his sleep.

the cold shower helps, barely. shivering beneath the icy spray, steve stares at his thickened cock and groans— knowing if he wraps his hand around it now and fucks his fist, he’ll cum in a minute.

so he leaves it and goes to work, wound up enough to snap at robin and then apologise 20 minutes later. you come into his work again, having been absent for the last couple of days, and it’s like you can smell it on him.

“hard morning?” you smirk at him.

“fuck off,” he growls, shoving a vcr back onto one of the shelves. then he looks back at you. “i’m still winning your stupid challenge by the way.”

“uh huh,” you say, not believing him at all. “how’s it’s been going? fucking your cock but never getting finish?”

even your words have an effect on him. steve feels his body flush, his dick strain in his pants, his gut churning with heat. he stiffens up and scrambles to think of a reply — but you’re already laughing.

“oh man, we’re not even halfway through the month and i think you could blow in your pants right here.” you muse teasingly. steve grips the shelf tighter and shakes over the fluster you have on him.

“i have more self restraint than that,” he snips back. the flush passes and he resumes his task, flashing you a quick glare.

you nod and hum again, like you don’t believe a thing he’s a saying, and then he’s watching you head out the door again.

the moment steve realises he’s fucked up is when he’s getting into bed. his cock is, thankfully, not hard — even if there is this persistent tug from his balls that never seems to leave. but he hasn’t stroked himself at all today.

painstakingly, he begins to — soft, gentle strokes over his cock, hoping, praying he can get five minutes in without working himself up too bad. it’s futile because it only takes about twenty seconds behind his cock is twitching in his hand, growing heavier, the head of it beginning to dribble pre-cum and steve moans in anguish into his pillow.

he stares at his alarm clock and strokes slowly, so slowly, having to stop every couple of seconds until finally five minutes passes. steve sighs and releases his cock which twitches in response, the head giving a sad spurt of pre-cum. he’s so keyed up he can’t possibly sleep. his cock is so hard it’s throbbing.

as he pulls his boxers up and buries himself under the duvet, but every touch is too stimulating, his skin on fire with how the urge to cum itches beneath it. he ends up having a very cold shoulder at 3am and his cock never fully softens.

it’s brutal from there on out. from day 14 onwards, his cock remains in this permanent state of aching, always half thickened and ready to go the moment it gets some stimulation. which turns out, is far easier to get now— jeans on the tighter side, the right seat, even the rumble of his car beneath him are enough to have steve swearing and pushing at his crotch, willing it to go down.

that’s how you find him on day 20, five minutes late for his shift because he’s staring down at his tented jeans and trying to think of anything to make it go away. your tap on his window makes him startle, seizing in his seat before he realises it’s probably the only person who’s expecting to see him with a boner in public.

“hard morning?” you joke again, this time pointing at his obvious bulge.

steve glares at you. “you already made that joke.”

“and you didn’t appreciate it the first time!” you say back cheerily. you round the front of his car and open the door, plopping yourself in the passenger seat like you own it.

“what are you doing?” steve asks, going to cross his arms but feeling terribly exposed. he settles for covering his groin, muscles twitching at the slight stimulation the weight of his hands does. his hips twitch forward.

“i’ve got a proposition for you,” you say.

steve shakes his head instantly. “nope, no way.”

you laugh at his quick insistence. “wait listen! i think you will want to consider it, okay?”

you pause and when steve doesn’t say anything more, just eyes you warily, you continue.

“i will knock off five whole days off your challenge,” you hold up your hand, fingers splayed out to indicate the number. your mischievous eyes make steve worry. even if five days off makes his challenge that much easier.

“if you do your five minutes today right now.”

steve blinks. his chest flushes hot at your proposal as it sinks in— here, in the parking lot in front of his work, you want him to jerk off for five whole minutes?

“what? right here?” the question bursts out of him.

it’s not busy out in the least. even in the store, steve hasn’t even seen keith walking about or any customers milling around. he knows keith won’t come outside to fetch him and he’s the only car in the parking lot, besides one another that parked down the other end.

“five minutes for five days off,” you say, twiddling your fingers with a wicked smile.

steve considers it, even though he can already feel his cock growing harder beneath his hands. he groans and throws his head back against the headrest. was he really about to do this?

he looks at the time and then starts to undo the button of his jeans. fuck, guess he was.

he steals a glance at you as he pulls down his zipper and tugs his jeans down a couple inches to expose his boxers. the mischief from your smile has faded, a hunger taking its place. steve averts his eyes, far too aware of how his cock twitches in his boxer at your attention.

he slips a hand into his boxers and curls it around his hard cock. a keening noise pulls from his throat and steve blushes scarlet— all his little noises as he’s spiraled into this lustful denial haven’t had an audience until right now.

he shifts his hand up, a slow stroke, but you’re quickly reaching out to grab his wrist, halting to movement. steve opens his eyes, not sure when they had closed, and makes a noise of confusion.

you grin deviously. “wait,” you point to the clock on the dash. “you can go when the minute changes, big boy.”

steve’s hips jump forward at your words, both the name and your denial. he groans before he can help it, his eyes trained intently on the dash. in his hand, his cock leaks pitifully, a wet spot beginning to stain through his boxers.

humiliatingly, you notice it too. “aw, you’re making a mess and you haven’t even started.”

“stop,” steve murmurs, aiming for stern but failing pathetically. the word comes out as a whine. his cheeks glow fiery hot.

you laugh and then tap his wrist— the minute having flicked over just a second ago.

steve starts his stroking, slow and easy, his eyes slipping closed. five minutes, he can do five minutes of jerking off. even if he was suddenly keenly aware of your watchful gaze, of the window beside him, of the pure exposure of the situation.

“that’s not jerking,” you huff disapprovingly. steve’s eyes crinkle open, his mouth already hung open as he pants softly. his hand does another pass over his cock and he smothers a moan into the palm of his hand.

“go faster or it won’t count.” you say wickedly and steve whimpers, his hand obeying without thought. with the way he’s leaking all over himself, it only takes a couple long strokes before he’s making lewd, wet noises as he fucks into his hand.

it shouldn’t be as hot as it is — rubbing his own cock while you watch, eyes darting between his moving hand and his flushed face. steve can hear himself making little noises with every exhale, tiny little whines as he burns up. the coil in his tummy tightens unexpectedly.

“f-fuck-!” he stops his hand completely, gripping the steering wheel with the other as he feels his orgasm swell. it grows closer, so near to tipping over that steve can’t control his hips as they keep moving, rutting into the air frantically, into nothing, as they try to get him over the edge.

it takes another thirty seconds for his breath to catch and steve to settle down enough to not cum immediately. he quivers in his seat. his eyes flutter open to look at you.

“that was really cute,” you muse, eyes almost feline, dragging up and down his body, slow as trickling honey. steve feels his cock twitch at your words, flushing hotly when your eyes dart to his boxers and definitely notice.

“not five minutes though,” you say with teasing tilt in your voice. you point to the clock on the dash. “i think that was… 1 whole minute?”

despite how he tries to stop it, steve can’t help the pathetic noise he makes in response. he wants to be able to finish this stupid fucking challenge you’ve set, wants to prove himself, wants to be good.

he starts moving his hand again before he can consider how bad of an idea it is. he should just say no and do the next ten days. but it’s wet and warm in his hand, the tip of his cock so drippy that he can pretend his hand is yours. you seem pleasantly surprised to see him going again so soon, your lids low as you watch him closely.

“are you normally this loud?”

steve knows you mean the slick noises coming from the way he’s fucking into his hand. he tries to huff but it comes out as a quiet moan and his face flushes hotter again.

he shakes his head instead, his hair scraping against the headrest. god, his neck is burning up. he’s pretty sure he’s never been harder in his life — but fuck, he can’t stop now.

“how- how ma- many minutes?” the words strain to get out, wrapped in his arousal. his nipples peak hard in his shirt, the friction only adding to his pleasure.

at some point, his hand stopped moving all together and his hips started doing all the work. steve presses against the drivers seat, hips lifting off and bucking into his hand and— shit, it’s too much, the sticky boxers are gonna make him cum if he rubs against them one more time.

in haste, he shoves them down his thighs, exposing his cock to you and anyone who deigns to take a peek in his window. something churns in his gut and steve screws his eyes up, willing himself not to cum yet. so close, he’s so close.

“just one more,” you say, suddenly sounding more breathy than before. steve’s eyes snap open, darting over to look at your face — but you’re fixated on his crotch, watching with a hungry expression.

your eyes lift to his face. another devious smile. steve whines. so close, he’s so fucking close, so close he can taste it. he can win, he can do it.

“steve,” you say softly, reaching out to nudge his chin in your direction. he wasn’t aware of when his eyes slipped shut again but your staring him in the face all lovingly, all wickedly and steve wills his orgasm down. another minute, another fucking minute, he can wait, he’s so close he’s— “cum,” you command.

steve does. white hot flashes through his body as he tips over the edge, ecstasy washing over every sense, stronger than he's ever felt before. his cock kicks up in his hand and a whorish moan drags out of his throat as he paints the steering wheel with ropes of cum.

for a minute, steve doesn't give a fuck if he's just lost— he just cares about how fucking good it feels to fuck his fist, to feel every pass over his slit all the way through his body. he whines and whimpers as the feeling tapers off, his hips finally settling down into the seat.

the mortification of what he's done begins to set it, like the drizzles of cum drying on his steering wheel. he can't stop panting, can't think of single word to say, his lips opening and closing as he tries to recover from the best orgasm of his life.

he hears the car door open and it shoots him into gear, stuffing himself back into his sticky boxers, a shiver going down his spine at how unpleasant it feels. oh fuck, and he's got a whole shift ahead of him.

you're still hovering, one hand on the open car door, leaned down and watching him frantically try to recover— all with that damned wicked smile on your face.

you rap your knuckles on the roof of the car. "damn. better luck next month, right harrington?"

you don't sound sorry at all. steve watches you close the door and leave, weaving between the stores and out of sight as his cock softens and his boxers grow colder. he screws his eyes up and smacks his head back against the headrest.

he's so fucking screwed.

[f1fnatic]

100 WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU ⤿ l. norris 4

→ ( in which. . . ) it is your and lando's 4 year anniversary and as a gift, you give him a journal of 100 entries of moments during your relationship, here are some of lando's favorite moments.

→ ( type of fanfic. . . ) written

→ ( pairing. . . ) lando norris x sainz!reader (gender not specified

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) this is coming from lando's pov, jumps from 2022-2024 at the end

→ ( author's note. . . ) this is my first time with a short summary type of fic, i hope you enjoy! see the end for more

→ ( masterlist )

→ 12/5/2019, the day we first met

it was my first time in the f1 paddock and carlos had invited me to the spanish gp. you accidentally bumped into me, which caused my piping hot, freshly brewed espresso to spill all over the front of my blouse. you apologized briefly before running off to do whatever media duty you had for that day. later, after the grand prix was over, carlos made you apologize the right way and made you buy me a new shirt. p.s that shirt is one of my favorites :)

→ 24/10/2019, the day we hung out 1 on 1 for the first time

we went to lunch and then found this quaint drive-in movie on the outskirts of monaco. they were playing my favorite summer-time movie, grease. i got to see a different side of you that day. you didn't have carlos to bounce off of, it was sweet to see you for you. your presence was so comforting to me. you were so relaxed and laid back. you fell asleep in my lap and that was when your worries truly melted away. i was very giddy after you left, it just so happened to be the first time my heart fluttered at the thought of you. p.s.s sorry for quating grease so much

→ 31/12/2020, new years eve

the day you kissed me for the first time. at first, i was surprised and thought the alcohol was making you act brash and forward. but after you didn't move away, i knew it was on purpose. i do not know what i could have done if you didn't kiss me. carlos got this picture of us and it has become one of my favorites. it marks such an important milestone in our relationship.

→ 23/3/2020, lockdown

when the uk officially shut down their borders and went into lockdown. monaco had shut theirs down a month prior, so i came to live with you until i couldn't anymore. it was hard, i didn't want to leave you and go back to monaco. we were still figuring out if we wanted to be in a relationship and i knew that the time apart would be difficult to navigate. so much uncertainty and change. it helped us grow into the people we are now <3

→ 31/8/2020, the day you asked me to be your partner

it also just so happened to be my birthday. we had been facetiming almost every day/night. i was watching every single grand prix to show my undying support for you. your unofficial home grand prix the day before had gone well, and i remember being so proud of you. you woke me up by surprising me at my apartment door in monaco with a bouquet of my favorite flowers, as well as my favorite snacks. i couldn't help but cry, but then you asked one of the most important questions ever, and obviously i said yes!

→ 8/31/2021, our 1 year anniversary

wow, i could not believe that we had been together for 365 days. one full orbit of the earth around the sun. you yourself are my sun, lando. the light of my life. that night you surprised me with a high-end massage since we were still in lockdown. you do not know how much i appreciated that, work had made me so stressed. it was wonderful to relax. i remember you being upset because we couldn't spend it together and promised that we would never spend another anniversary apart, and so far, you have.

→ 4/1/2022, when i asked you to move in with me

everything leading up to the moment i asked you was so nerve-wracking that i was trying not to have an anxiety attack. i was so scared that you weren't going to say yes, but, obviously you did. once you moved in, my apartment finally felt like a home. it felt so full with you. the happiness that would run through my veins when i saw that your things were next to mine. your clothes next to mine in the closet, our coffee mugs side by side on the countertop, and our shoes piled next to the door, waiting for us to go out together. that was and still is one of my happiest memories <3

→ 14/2/2022, valentines day

our first valentines together in person as a couple! we had such a beautiful ocean view breakfast that you surpirsed me with (it was delicious btw) and then later that night, you took me to dinner and had max decorate our bedroom while we were out. have it on record that that was my favorite night ever ;)

→ 1/7/2022, our first grand prix as a couple

this just so happened to be the day that we confirmed we were dating!! it was such a weight lifted off of my shoulders to finally be able to call you mine in public. the fans were so supportive. i felt so much pride to be able to wear a jersey with your name on it. that whole weekend was bliss.

→ 31/8/2024 our 4 year anniversary

today. that's all i have to say. today has been the best day and everything i could ask for. today you surprised me with the biggest question of my life. today you asked me to marry you. and, without any hesitation, i said yes. of course, i would say yes. lando, you are the best thing to have ever happen to me. you are my world, my everything, my star in a field of black. you have brought such happiness into my life that i can't even BEGIN to describe. i am so unbelievably happy that you bumped into me that fateful day in the mclaren paddock. if you hadn't, who knows where we would be. i love you so much lan, here is to 4 years and so many more.

woww two posts in the span of a week what is happening... i was deciding to add pictures but i could not find any good ones that made sense for the entries. anyways, requests and feedback are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well (only if you want :P)

[leewritestoomuch]

I've been so obsessed with Rock Lee for the last few months after getting into Naruto and I'm so glad someone's taking requests for my favourite ninja! If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to see you write Rock Lee helping reader stretch before a work out but since reader isn't really flexible or is just not all that active, they make a lot of, ahem, suggestive noises while stretching. Love your work, can't wait to see more!!

Rock Lee Helping Reader Stretch

Warnings: Suggestive, borderline NSFW. It’s implied.

Basically: You make noises while stretching that Rock Lee’s horny brain can’t ignore.

Recently, your joints and muscles have been killing you. Maybe your half ass stretching routine wasn’t doing the trick, you figured. Even though you knew change had to happen, you just didn’t know how to stretch your muscles out properly for the extensive training you do with Lee.

Usually he shows up earlier than you, so you don’t see him stretching, but you know he’s keen on making sure he stretches properly so he’s probably stretching for a while beforehand. So you decide to show up 40 minutes before you usually would, seeing him just now setting up to stretch and warmup.

He’d clearly been out jogging prior to this. And in your mind, you know he’s done a runners stretch so isn’t that enough? Why does he need to stretch again? (Him and Gai would both scream at you for this way of thinking)

“Hi Lee.” You greet him with a small smile, already exhausted from the training you haven’t even started just by looking at his energetic, muscular self. Somewhere in your mind, you’ve managed to convince yourself that you’re winded from the walk to the training grounds, and that Lee is not the reason your breath catches in your throat.

You’ve seen him like this for so long, I mean, you’re on the same team as him now. The only 4 person squad, 5 if you count Gai sensei. You’re so close to all of them, and that’s been normal. Perfectly normal. But recently, your eyes linger on Lee just a little too long.

“Oh hey y/n! I didn’t see you there!” He smiles, the white of his teeth flashing at you in the sun line. Sometimes you wonder how he’s so positive, but then again, you don’t mind it so much anymore. He literally glows though, you swear on it.

“Can I ask you a favor?” You ask, suddenly a little nervous. Your palms are sweating. You try to ignore that.

“Of course! What is it that you want to ask?” He asks, enthusiastically. His smile is almost infectious.

“My joints and muscles ‘n shit are killing me. Can you help me stretch? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong…” You move your neck like you’re trying to get out a knot or something.

Lee agrees, and decides to start simple. He has you put your arms behind your back, your hands joined together, and tells you to stretch them back as far as you can. Then do the same with the front.

After that, he has you do a similar thing with your hands joined over your head before moving down to the ground to stretch out your upper body best. Then your shoulders, elbows, and neck all separately. Then he has you get on the ground to stretch out your back.

And maybe he didn’t think too much about the position, but have you stretch your back up and lower yourself down also meant your ass was up in the air as you arched your back. You realize how embarassing the position is, and what you don’t notice is the way his cheeks flush and he pries his eyes away from your body.

“U-uh great! Let’s do legs!” He says rather quickly, helping you to get into as low of a splits position that you can, before having you lean forward. To get the best stretch, he pushes down on your body a tiny bit. And before you can stop yourself, you let out a moan.

His hands still against your back, and your eyes go wide as you freeze too. Soon you feel him move away, telling you to switch sides. And he repeats the same thing on this side. Much to your disdain, an even louder moan accidentally slips from your mouth. Curse yourself for not being able to be quiet at a time like this.

When you finally sit back up, he’s staring at you. You can’t help but gulp down any salvia you had in your mouth. Then you notice the way his hands are covering the front of his pants. When he notices where your eyes shifted, his blush intensifies and he starts stammering.

“I-I am so sorry! I didn’t mean— you were just—“ you cut his rambling off with a kiss, crawling over closer to him. You situate yourself on his lap, his hands darting out for your hips. The kiss doesn’t break until you’re both desperate for more air than you can get with your mouths connected. Before your mutual panting even halts, he smashes his lips back onto your desperately. And at this point, he’s boldly getting handsy.

You can feel the desperation and lust through his finger tips and they find their way around your body. Any curve, dip, anything, he feels for it. And soon he’s laying back on the grass, panting as a string of saliva connects the both of you even as you part.

The look in his eyes told you that what was about to happen at these training grounds should not happen at the training grounds. Your eyes told him you didn’t care the least about that, however.

[elizais]

meeting dazai in the port mafia

summary: you and dazai as teens falling for eachother, the demon prodigy and the quietest member of the port mafia. pm!dazai x fem!reader warnings: port mafia activities

you had been in the mafia since you could remember. one member who has since been 'dismissed' had found you when you could still show your age on your fingers, taking you in for your strong ability. he was never seen again after a couple years, now it was the jobs of executives kouyou and hirotsu to keep an eye over you. so now, as a 14 year old who has known nothing but being the youngest, this was your lifestyle.

somehow, you always kept your quiet and kind demeanor. anyone seeing you shopping in the city would assume you had a family in a nice house, had no clue what torturing a man looks like and had school 5 days a week. when mori mentioned that there was someone your age named dazai, you didn't think anything of it. the last person "your age" was 6 years older than you and didn't last for long. little did you know you and him were only a couple months apart.

so, on a normal day of delivering paperwork between higher-ups, kouyou called for you and said "y/n. you will be going for a mission in a week's time. nothing you haven't done before but just be aware of it coming up. mori will talk to you soon, i believe."

that's when you met him. dazai. a boy who actually was, your age! now knowing of the mission, you put together why mori mentioned him. a tall boy dressed in run of the mill port mafia attire. you met each other after mori called you to his office regarding the mission. "l/n, this is dazai. dazai, this is l/n." you both shook hands and you visibly shuddered, feeling.. different? mori let out a small laugh seeing your reaction - you being unaware of dazai's ability caused the feeling that shot through you as he momentarily cut your ability off.

"oh. yes, dazai's ability is "No Longer Human", so he nullifies abilities by touching them." the boss explained. "oh, that's useful but it feels incredibly odd." you said quietly in dazai's direction with a polite smile. "yeah, your ability is..?" you opened your mouth to respond but mori noticed the awkwardness that accompanied your shy nature and explained your ability briefly. dazai simply nodded whilst listening.

afterwards, mori explained that your job next week was a simple one. to sneak into an office building in the city outskirts (using your innocent looks and attitudes) and dazai accompanying you for 1, if the guards catch on and 2, to get to know one another for future jobs. mori claimed "your ability is well trained enough now to be more than what you are told to do by kouyou and hirotsu as they are far too soft for you." and with that, he sent you and osamu away.

"l/n?" dazai asked as you made the walk from one side of HQ to the other. "yes?" "how long have you been here? i have been here for almost a year and never got the chance to see you around." dazai quickly asked, you saw him looking at you whilst asking through your peripheral vision, but you looked straight ahead. "the better part of a decade, i think. i can name most people here but they took me in for my ability and as bait in a lot of missions. i stay with higher ups when i don't have anything to do." dazai listened to your answer and simply hummed in response. you had many questions, about his past, the bandages, how he is already climbing the ranks, why he joined.. but you didn't voice one. any of those questions were almost guaranteed to have unpleasant answers.

soon enough, the day came, the driver took you up until a 10 minute walk away. you were dressed in the casual clothing that rarely got used from being in such an organisation. but you could tell you had more experience in this way of dressing than your new partner as you had to kindly explain that most city 15 year olds don't dress in a suit and tie for work in the mafia to dazai. confused, he decided to just buy something and get changed after getting out the car. now, the average civilian could never guess two mafiosos were amongst them!

the task itself was nothing out of the blue, but your quick banter throughout the couple hours sneaking around an office that mori refused to tell you what exactly for did entertain you. dazai would never admit it but he wished that this outing would never end. coaxing you out of your shy shell to get you to the point of doing snide impressions of the other members (especially mori).

but, you both laughed a little too loud and someone ran down the corridor to the room you were in. this had never happened to you before. without a word, his bandaged hand grabbed your lower arm and dragged the both of you into the long, empty cupboard beneath the countertops. thankfully, you both knew they were empty since you checked those previously for the box you two were looking for.

just as you both were cross-legged facing each other, holding your breath to not breathe too loud, surprised the beating of your hearts didn't give yourselves away, 2 men stormed in. "I know I heard two kids in here!" a gruff voice spoke, "I swear to god, we have work to do." the other responded. they exited just as quickly as they came. dazai peaked his head out, bumping his head doing so which resulted in a giggle from you. he smiled whilst rubbing his head where it hit and gave you a nod - silently saying that the both of you could leave.

as you carried on searching the room, mori called dazai's phone - informing him that they should both leave as new information came in. subsequently making this excursion pointless. neither of you felt that it was a waste of time though, whilst sneaking back out and making your way to the pick up spot, you both allowed your bodies to walk a little bit closer than before.

"hey, daz-" you asked, slightly more confident than you usually are before getting cut off with "please, it's osamu". osamu informed you with a small smile as you corrected yourself. "well,, osamu. please use y/n."

hiii, idk how to feel ab this one but i love seeing pm!dazai things so i felt that i should contribute 💕 

[mentally-gone002]

is it too early to love you? - part 6

(moodboard made by moi)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

summary: readers mom is told about her breakup with james by spencer. he made the mistake of thinking she already knew, but it ended in reader getting annoyed, and later angrier than she was before. 

warnings: our babies kinda fight so angsttttt

a/n: HEHEHAHFIDBIDBEKFBEID i needed to prolong it because this was originally gonna be the last part but the voices were like “NO WE DONT WANT IT TO END” so here we areeee😋😋😋 ily guys sm btw thanks for all the support on this series!!!! ENJOY GANG!!!

————————————————————————

i’ve been confused.

ever since spencer told me the reason for the kiss in his hotel room i’ve been reflecting. mostly on my feelings, which sounds like a load of bullshit but it has to be done. 

‘is it too early to love you?’ 

i didn’t know the answer to the question i’d asked until i found out that it was my best friend the whole time instead of the guy i was with for three years. and that shocked me.

i don’t know what to do about that. 

i wasn’t about to let it influence my ability to work. 

“thanks penelope.” i reached for the door handle of her lair after asking her to research something for a case i was finishing the paperwork for. 

she spun in her chair, smiling brightly. “of course! i love your visits mon ami.” 

i smiled back to her and quickly walked the hall back to the bullpen. 

upon my quick arrival through the large glass doors i was surprised to see my mom talking with spencer at my desk. i was expecting her to come by but not until five. 

my eyes went to the clock and i read that it was ten after five. i must’ve spent more time with penelope than i’d thought. 

“hi, mom.” i walked to my desk and set down the file in my hands. my eyes went to spencer’s briefly before i hugged her. “sorry i kept you waiting. i had to get some information on something.” i apologized. 

she patted my back. “it’s alright, your work is important.” she said in understanding. i pulled away and smiled at her. “why didn’t you tell me you broke up with james?” 

i looked at spencer, with wide eyes. “uhm,” i looked back at my mom. “can we talk about this later?” i asked, reaching blindly into my bag for my car keys. she nodded and pursed her lips. “i’ll meet you in the lobby, i need to give something to my boss.” i told her. 

she nodded. “okay. i’ll see you down there.” 

i watched her leave the bullpen, waiting for the glass doors to close all the way before i was looking up at spencer. “why did you tell her james and i broke up?” 

he looked shocked. “i- she asked about you two because she hadn’t heard about him in a while and was wondering why.” he replied. “i’m sorry.” 

i shook my head and gathered my things and started walking. i spun around to look back at spencer. “don’t go around telling people things that isn’t any of your business.” with that i turned and kept walking, faster now because of the annoyance bubbling under my skin. 

why would he do that?

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

“why did you break up with james?” my mom asked over dinner. 

i knew it was coming, i just didn’t realize she would ask as i’m in the middle of swallowing my drink. i coughed slightly and looked away, humming like i had to think about it. “he’s the one who broke up with me.” i told her. 

she frowned. “why? what happened?” 

i shrugged. “he just… got tired of me. he said he couldn’t deal with my job, or me as a whole.” i sifted my fork through the food on my plate. “we broke up like two months ago.”

“why didn’t you tell me?” my mom reached a hand across the small table to touch my hand. 

i gave her a look. “because i knew you’d call him and tell him to change his mind.” she bit the inside of her cheek. “he wouldn’t have anyway.” my eyes rolled slightly. 

she made a sad humming sound. “are you doing okay?” 

i nodded. “yeah, i mean he was kind of a dick because he broke almost all of my dishes, ripped up a bunch of my books and stole my tv after he’d broken up with me, but other than that, i’ve been doing good.” i gave her a tight lipped smile. “i got everything replaced so don’t worry.” i added before she got that sad look back on her face. 

“how come spencer knew about this before i did?” 

i dropped my fork and pressed my fingers into my eyes. “because he confronted me and then correctly guessed what was going on.” my lie was believable because he’d done this type of thing before, and i’ve told her about how strange it was that he could figure me out so fast. 

my mom took a sip of wine. “and then you just forgot to tell me?”

“what? no. i just… kept putting it off. i just didn’t- i don’t want to think about it.” my fingers scratched at the spot in front of my ear. “can we talk about something else, please?” 

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

after i’d gotten home from dinner i was calling spencer. he picked up as i was locking my deadbolt and i didn’t give him a chance to greet me before i was saying, “i just sat through the most uncomfortable dinner that i’ve ever had with my mom because of you.” 

spencer sputtered over the line. “because of me?” 

“yes, because of you. you and your big mouth that told my mom my business.” i paced back and forth behind my couch, one arm wrapped around my middle. 

“this wouldn’t have happened if you would’ve just told her sooner.” spencer retorted. 

i scoffed. “oh, so this is my fault now? what a mature way to handle this.” 

“this is all immature, not mature.” 

“i was being sarcastic.” i rolled my eyes in annoyance. 

“we’re both being immature.” he said. 

i shook my head while staring at the floor. “i just wish you wouldn’t have told her.”

“i thought she already knew.”

i looked up and walked back to my room. “yeah well, she didn’t.” i put the phone on speaker as i started to get undressed. 

spencer hummed. “no kidding.” he scoffed and i could almost hear him rolling his eyes. “i already apologized for this anyway, why are you calling me?” 

i pulled a tank top over my head. “i don’t know, honestly.” i picked up my phone again and pressed it to my ear. 

“how do you not know?” 

“i just don’t, okay?” i raised my voice. “sorry.” i sighed, sitting down heavily on my bed. “i just needed to hear you voice.” 

“and the best way to hear my voice was to start arguing with me?” he wondered. 

i nodded. “i just needed to vent, i didn’t want it to turn into an argument.” my eyes watched as my feet slid over the carpet. “i’m sorry.” 

spencer was quiet for a moment. “it’s okay.” he replied. “how’d your mom react to everything?” 

i scoffed a bit. “oh, you mean what did she say about him vandalizing my place?” 

“yes, that.” spencer laughed. 

i smiled at the sound of his voice. i didn’t like to fight with him. that was our first argument and i hated it. “she… didn’t say anything, believe it or not.” i laid on my back. “she did ask me why you were the first one to know.” 

he hummed. “what did you tell her?”

“i told her you just figured it out on your own.” i answered. “she believed me.”

“good. now she won’t have to cope with the fact that you love me more than her.” 

i laughed softly. “know your place reid, i love my mom. you’re second on that list.” i bit my lip, waiting for him to reply. 

“what about your sister?” he quizzed. 

i sighed. “you’re a close second.” 

“just a close second?” he inquired cheekily. 

i smiled to myself. “fine, you can share the podium.” i bargained. 

“i can work with that.” he agreed after taking a few seconds to reply. i could hear the smile on his lips and the way it infected his words. 

i smiled. he was contagious. perfectly contagious. “i’m… i’m gonna go.” i said it hesitantly. i didn’t want to go but i had things to do. not sure what they are yet but i’d find something. 

“okay.” spencer’s voice was softer now. a little quiet and disappointed. “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

“tomorrows saturday.” i reminded him. 

“right.” spencer murmured. “i’ll see you monday then.” 

i hummed in agreement. “see you monday.” 

“okay. bye.”

“bye, spencer.” 

when the line beeped to signal the end of the call i sighed with my eyes closed. why did it have to be saturday?

i called spencer again. 

“it hasn’t even been thirty seconds-“

“do you wanna do something tomorrow? like… play chess in the park or something?” 

spencer stumbled over a reply. “y- yeah. i’d like that.” i smiled widely and sat up. “what time?” 

“maybe noon? we could get coffee and then go to the park.”

“that sounds perfect.” he was breathy but loud enough so that i could hear him. 

“okay.” i bit my lip. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“yeah, see you tomorrow.”

“okay. bye… for real this time.”

spencer laughed. “for real this time.”

i smiled at his repetition and hung up. 

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 10

Just a little metal band Steve while the poll for what do with boy w/a bat and werewolf Steve is ongoing. Here if you want to vote.

Corroded Coffin is almost done with their album when the shit hits the fan and Eddie soothes away some of Steve's insecurities (and accidentally creates one more.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

****

Eddie was grateful that with the album ninety-eight percent done the label had released Jeff and him from their jail sentence so that they could go out and be people again. Brian had also been released for good behavior, but Dr. Owens suggested that Gareth stay away from the booze and parties for awhile, so Gareth had chosen to continue the exile willingly.

So to say he was excited to see Steve without all that shit hanging over his head. It was like a rare cool breeze against his skin on a hot summer’s day.

He got a table at the bar he told Steve to meet him at and ordered their drinks. He looked around the room as his knee began to bounce. He didn’t think Steve would stand him up. Steve wasn’t like that. But what if something happened? What the new studio they got was in New York or London or Chicago? How could he suggest that to Steve? He nee–

A warm hand touched his shoulder and all anxiety vanished as Steve murmured his hello.

Steve tapped the center of his forehead as he sat down. “What’s going on inside that head of yours? I can tell you’re spiraling, you’ve got this wide-eyed panicked look to you.”

Eddie rubbed his forehead and pouted. “Everything.”

Steve sighed and tenderly took his hand. He brought it up his lips and kissed each knuckle separately.

“The music business isn’t a forgiving industry at the best of times,” he murmured gently. “But it’s really rough on relationships. All kinds of relationships. Family, friends, lovers. But you’ve got me, okay?”

Eddie let out a low shuddering breath and then nodded.

“So tell me about your day,” he said with a slightly crooked smile. “You talk to Robin and your friends?”

Steve looked around the bar and nodded. “Robin says she’s working on the change of scenery, but she’s not sure how long it’s going to take. As for the other thing... we’re split down the middle. Me and Spence want June, while Simon and Shane want January.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “Why the split?”

“Spence and I have hope we can get the,” he lowered his voice, “album,” he raised his voice again, “done and want the time to finish it. While the other two are clawing at the walls, chomping at the bit, and just begging for a chance to travel again.”

Eddie sighed. “I’m sorry, Stevie. We’re pretty much into editing portion of the album and agreeing on the song order. But we can tour whenever. That’s the best part about being us. We can take six months to do five shows if we wanted to and our fans would eat it up. But if your guys want to wait until next summer, then we can do that. If your guys want to leave right after the New Year, fuck we can do that too.”

Steve sighed. “The record label is just pushing us to the limits and I think even Robin is beginning to crack. First there was the mix up with our contracts then this new thing, plus the touring and everything else. It’s a lot put on her and she’s starting to go mad.”

“They like to do that, unfortunately,” Eddie agreed. “I know Celeste is a good manager, but I think that The Fallen could use an actual agent, someone to take the load off of her back.”

Steve chewed his lip. “But won’t they have to be brought in on the secret if The Fallen were to get an agent?”

“Not if you don’t want them to,” Eddie said with a shrug. “A lot people use stage names they have to have contracts. So...” he waved his hand. “I’m assuming Celeste has control of all the fiddly business stuff for each member of the band?”

Steve shrugged. “Pretty much I guess.”

“They could work through Celeste if the band doesn’t want them to know,” Eddie said with another shrug. “But I recommend bringing them in. They can’t put out fires if they don’t know there’s more than just smoke.”

Steve rubbed his bottom lip. “Yeah...I don’t know. I’m not in the band so I couldn’t say for sure, I’m only a lowly peon.”

“Maybe, but they trust you,” Eddie scoffed. “Look I get that you don’t feel like you think the band can trust someone else with this, but agents are there to protect the band. They could lose all their business if they went around blabbing shit about their clients.”

“Maybe they should just get yours,” Steve joked. “Who is it?”

“Nancy Wheeler.”

The color drained from Steve’s face and he shook his head. “We’ll find someone else. I don’t–can’t trust her with a secret that big.”

Eddie tilted his head to side as he considered Steve’s odd reaction.

“Oh shit.”

Steve laughed weakly. “Yeah, oh shit.”

Nancy was another one of Hawkins High’s alums. Bright and powerful, smart and capable. Steve could see why Corroded Coffin had gone with her. Only he couldn’t trust her to hand him a knife, much less a secret as big as this one.

They had dated before she decided that he wasn’t ambitious enough for her and dumped him for Jonathan Byers. But not before cheating on him with the guy first.

Nancy had stabbed Steve in the back once, he had no desire to give her the ammunition to do it again.

Eddie paid for their drinks, and then took his hand to lead him outside. He pulled them into a small alleyway, barely big enough to fit them both, where they would have some privacy.

Eddie took Steve’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, letting their breaths mingle. Steve’s fast and panicked, Eddie’s slow and calm.

Eventually Steve’s breaths matched Eddie’s and Eddie sealed their lips together.

“You’re okay, baby,” he soothed. “I’ve got you. You’re safe in my hands. You know that right?”

Steve gasped, taking in air as if coming up from the bottom of a vast lake and break the water for the first time.

Eddie combed his fingers through Steve’s hair as the other man fought to get his emotions under control.

Steve let out one more shuddering breath and Eddie smiled. “There you are. I was getting worried for a moment there, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “Opening up our secret to other people is always terrifying, but Nancy? That’s monster level dread right there.”

Eddie continued to run his fingers through Steve’s hair. “I understand that, but do know what would happen if she did that? She wouldn’t just lose you as a client, she would lose her whole catalogue of clients. Corroded Coffin included. And not just because of who we are to each other. It would be such a serious breech of confidentiality that she would literally be scorch earth’ing her whole career.”

Steve let out a long breath. He knew that objectively. He knew that she also could just not take him as a client. Decide that The Fallen wasn’t worth the risk.

“What if we sent in Robin as Celeste Baptiste and see what she thinks?” Eddie suggested. “You know Robin’s instinct is killer. It’s why she’s such a good manager. Or even better, why doesn’t Robin meet with Chrissy and have Chrissy go over agents with her and see what Robin thinks? That okay?”

Steve smiled and brought their lips together. “You take such good care of me, Eds. I love you so much.”

“Back ‘atcha, pretty boy.”

Eddie’s phone rang and he picked it up.

“‘Ello?”

He pinched his nose and sighed. “Yeah. How long?”

There was brief pause as he listened to the other person on the line.

“I’ll check Mancharo’s and El Dios and you check out that strip of bars a few blocks south of the hotel.”

Again he listened, his brows furrowing deeper.

“Then I’ll just hit up El Dios and let you know if I find him,” Eddie muttered and then hung up.

“Fuck!”

Steve rubbed the wrinkles between Eddie’s nose until his pinched expression soften.

“That was Jeff,” Eddie murmured when he was calm enough. “Gareth stormed out of his therapy session today and hasn’t been seen since. They thought he was in his room, but when they checked, he was gone.”

Steve ran his hands up and down Eddie’s arms soothingly. “I’m sorry, Eds. Do you want me to go with you?”

Eddie wanted to answer yes, but if Gareth saw Steve he would absolutely pitch the biggest bitch fit outside of literal toddlers.

“Nah,” he murmured instead. “You’ve had a rough day. I’ll call you when I have news, okay?”

Steve nodded. “I love you, babe.”

“Back ‘atcha, darlin’.”

Steve sighed as he watched his boyfriend hail a cab.

He pulled out his phone and went right to Gareth’s Instagram. His location was off but Steve almost recognized the background.

He called Robin and sent her the picture. “We’ve been here before, right?”

“Uh...” she said. “Yeah! Dustin’s twenty-first! The Devil’s End!”

“If you weren’t a lesbian and I wasn’t dating Eddie I would kiss you on the mouth!”

“Eww...” she huffed. “You going to tell me what this is about?”

“Meet me at the apartment and I’ll fill you in.”

Then he sent off a brief text to Eddie.

-Try The Devil’s End. It’s where we had Dustin’s birthday bash.

The reply was almost immediate.

-God I love you.

-On it, babe.

Steve smiled to himself as he put his phone away. He couldn’t repay Eddie back for how kind he had been tonight, but at least he could help with this.

He just hoped Gareth was okay.

He knew that this business could and would chew up the best of people and spit them back out again without a single care.

Having a double life helped keep Steve and his friends humble. But he had no doubts in his mind that that could change at any moment.

Because if it wasn’t the business that would do the trick, it would be the isolation of not being able to tell anyone about what they really do for a living.

If he was being honest with himself, had it not been for Eddie figuring out who he was, Steve would have bet on himself being the first to fall to the Beast.

Both of his parents were raging alcoholics and he knew for awhile there when he was in middle school, his mom had gotten into some pretty heavy drugs.

It was why his high school days were so lonely. Because his dad was either hauling her off to rehab, or going on long trips where he would cheat on her and the cycle would begin again.

But now, with Eddie to keep him grounded?

His bet was on Simon. Hands down. The guy was very insecure outside of his alter ego Asmodeus.

If Steve only knew.

Trouble was brewing on the horizon, just not in the way Steve had thought it would go.

****

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie

@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach

@val-from-lawrence @goodolefashionedloverboi @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @yikes-a-bee @bookbinderbitch

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@cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33

[freshxsturniolo]

This might be a mouth full but can you do one where Matt o(or Chris)and y/n are in a relationship but they had some time apart and in that time Matt (or Chris) saw someone else and they go to mutuals party she’s there but y/n has no idea they hooked up and when she pieces it together she gets upset that he never told her and etc.

HEY BABY this was so fun to write. i hope this is okay <3 (i did matt hehe)

your relationship with matt in the first year had been far from perfect. you were the absolute definition of right person, wrong time. his YouTube career was at its peak, subscribers climbing higher and higher each week, and it was difficult for you both to juggle such a change to his life, plus your own life with your own commits, and your relationship.

when you both came to the decision to take a break for a while, your heart had broke. you had both cried and spent the day in his room, cuddled together on his bed watching your favourite tv shows, promising to always love each other no matter what happened.

you spent 6 months watching him rise and rise, whilst your own career took off better than ever. you were heartbroken but you had hope. you had faith that together one day you would be together again. you had said it was nothing more than a break, knowing your love for each other would bond together again one day. but over the course of those months you both become so busy, it had almost seemed unlikely. you had somehow learned to live a life without matt sturniolo, watching from the shadows of his life.

texts become the odd instagram dm, before becoming nothing more than the odd instagram like. but you were happy. you could tell he was living his life, he looked happier and healthier than had ever done before and that was enough for you.

"we love each other no matter what happens, okay?" his words to you that final night 6 months prior. and you did.

but when you woke up one january morning to a missed call, your heart had been in your throat. it had come early, around 6am, but in your deep slumber you hadn't heard it. there was no follow up. there was no text afterwards. you even checked on instagram and there had been no DM. you had almost convinced yourself it was accidental, but there was something in your heart pulling you to him.

so you called, and he answered on the first ring. you grabbed coffee together an hour later, and that night, you were back at his house, watching movies with him and his two brothers like nothing had ever happened.

"i never stopped loving you, you know" he had said, and you had smiled as you finally leant in to kiss his soft lips.

"me either, matt. we said we never would."

he smiled. "i know"

and suddenly, everything worked out. the time apart had been perfect, you couldn't deny it. as heartbroken as you had been at the time. you had learned to live without him but the minute you was in his presence again, you knew you never actually wanted to live without him.

and matt felt the same. he knew that the lack of contact was his own fault. he had been the one to stop replying to your texts, the one to stop replying to your instagram stories, but he had never stopped thinking about you. his brothers had told him he was stupid, but he knew he wasn't. the 6 months break was needed. and when he woke up that one january morning, and he woke up and did his daily scan of your social media outlets, he knew it was time. he knew he needed you back in his life.

to now, 5 months later, watching you apply the last touch of your make up in the mirror of his bathroom whilst he came out of his bedroom, looking at you with a smile.

"you ready?" he asked, and you looked at him through the mirror.

"beyond ready, i need a drink" you said, walking over to him and wrapping your arms around his neck. his arms snaked around your lower back and he leant in to give you a soft kiss.

"you two are too lovey dovey for me" you heard chris remark from the kitchen, and you had rolled your eyes with a laugh, pulling away.

"try talking to a girl for more than one second" matt had said, and you turned around to slap his arm. these boys could be so cruel to each other, but you knew it was all in love.

"come on, we're already late" nick had said from somewhere you couldn't see until you heard his feet down the stairs, chris following not far behind.

and an hour later, you where leant against the kitchen in your friends new house, chatting to a few of your girlfriends. you were celebrating her new career move and her new house and you were beaming with pride at how all of your lives were working out. your friends were happy, you were happy, your boyfriend was happy. life couldn't have worked out better.

"so," your friend said, coming to the side of you. "you and matt are okay, right?"

you smiled at her, swallowing down your drink.

"better than ever. the break really did us good" you said, and she smiled.

"im so glad."

and as if right on queue, he appeared.

"hey, babe" he said, walking over and planting a kiss on your lips.

"hey, baby" you smiled in return.

he moved to the side of you, reaching around to grab a fresh drink.

"you having fun?" he asked, but you didn't get chance to reply before his name was squealed from somewhere across the room. both of your heads snapped around, and it didn't take more than a second to see the beaming smile of some girl you'd never seen. you knew your friend had a whole group of friends you didn't know, you'd been passing polite hellos across the last hour, but this girl you had never seen before.

"oh, fuck." you heard matt utter under his breath, and your head snapped away from the gorgeous girl walking towards you and towards your boyfriend. you noticed the way his face had turned weary.

"who's that?" you whispered, and he looked at you for a millisecond before the girl was in front of you.

she was taller than you, her hair placed in a blonde bun on top of her head, and she was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. you didn't even notice you'd straightened your position and pouted your lips slightly.

her arms immediately went around matts neck, and you stood at the side of him as you watched him wrap his arms loosely around her back.

"hey" he muttered as they pulled away.

"i haven't seen you in so long" she beamed up at him, before her eyes finally diverted in your direction. "oh, hey!" she said, and you smiled.

"this is y/n" he said, and you saw from the corner of your eye that he was looking at you as he said it. but you kept your eyes on this stunning blonde, watching as her eyes widen slightly. and then she lunges forward to hug you, her perfume strong against your nose.

"i've heard so much about you!" she exclaims. you can't help but hug her back.

"you have?" you say with a laugh, your eyes finally meeting matts against the hug. when she pulls away, you notice the way his eyes go straight to her.

"so much! so," she says, taking a step back. "you guys are back together?"

"yeah" matt answers immediately, his hand finding yours.

"ah, im happy for you both!" she beams. "that explains the quietness, matt" she laughs, and your heart stops.

you look down at matts hand in yours, the sudden need to be close to you, and her words, and suddenly you feel sick.

the blonde reaches behind matt to the row of drinks behind you, and when her eyes are diverted else where you give matt a look, he smiles. but it doesn't reach his eyes like it normally does. when she finally pulls back, drink in hand, she looks between you both awkwardly. matt still hasn’t responded to her previous remark.

you put on a smile before pulling your hand away from matt.

“well, i’ll leave you both to catch up” you say, diverting your eyes to the girl who you hadn’t even asked her name, before you turn on your heel.

“babe” he starts, but you turn around quickly.

“matt,” you say. and he knows. he knows not to follow you.

you look back to the girl. “lovely to meet you”

“you too” she says, but you’ve walked away before you even see her face.

you can’t be upset. you can’t. but god it was so fucking obvious. her excited squeal, the look on her face when he said your name, it was so fucking obvious and you can’t help the tears that have brimmed in your eyes.

but you’re startled by a familiar face walking around the corner, slamming yourself against his chest.

“woooo easy tiger” chris says, and you look up at him as the first tear falls. “oh, fuck. what’s happened?”

but his eyes divert behind you and you see the way his eyes widen. it’s all the confirmation you need.

“did he sleep with her?” you ask, taking a deep breath. you could not cry on your boyfriends brothers shoulder.

“it’s not my place-“

you laugh. “so yes”

“it was only a handful of times”

“a HANDFUL?” you shout, and chris’ eyes widen as he pulls you backwards, out of the view of the kitchen and into the hallway he’d just emerged from. “a fucking handful, chris?”

“i’m not sure, alright? you should speak to matt about it”

you knew he was right. you were putting him on the spot and that wasn’t fair.

“can i chill with you, for a minute?” you ask, the anger surging through you almost unbearable.

“yes, come on” he says, and he takes your wrists and drags you in the direction of some of his friends.

they shout your name when they see you, and you put on a brave face, but the atmosphere is ruined. it’s not that you could even be mad. jesus, you weren’t together. but it was the not knowing. it was the fact he hadn’t told you. you had spent months learning to live a life without him and he’d spent it buried up in some other girl.

“he loves you, you know” chris said randomly an hour later. you’d been glued it his side the entire time, and listening to him yap to his friends had kept you from spiralling. the blonde and matt had not entered your line of sight once.

you look up at him with a smile. “i know” you whisper, and he gives you a one arm hug, pulling you into his side. “go and talk to him, please.”

and you knew you had to. because you weren’t having fun, and you needed to hear it from him.

so you stand up, leaving chris to his friends and make your way into the kitchen. your eyes scan but matts no where to be seen, and you let out a sigh as you head towards to garden. it’s louder out here, people are so clearly drunk and there’s more and more people you don’t recognise now, but you hear a familiar laugh from the right side of you and you turn to see nick, and just to his side is matt, picking off the label of his drink. but it only takes him a few seconds before his eyes are on yours, his back straightening immediately before his drink is placed on the table and he stands, heading straight towards you. you can feel the tears forming immediately.

“where have you been?” he asks when he reaches you, his voice mellow.

“with chris” you admit, but you can’t stop the crack in your voice.

“baby-“

“why didn’t you tell me, matt?”

“i’m so - i’m sorry. it didn’t seem relevant”

you scoff. “of course it’s relevant, matt. of course it is”

“it was nothing. i promise it was nothing. i missed you every single day, alright? every single fucking second. but you were thriving, babe. i saw it all over your instagram, you were thriving and it would have been selfish of me to ask you back so soon”

you sigh, looking up at the sky. the sun was still bright but it was nearing evening time.

“how long after we ended it?” you ask. you needed to know.

“3 months” he admits.

“and how long for?” you ask. you shouldn’t care. it doesn’t matter. “actually, don’t answer that. i don’t need to know”

matt smiles slightly. “i should have told you. i’m sorry. i just didn’t want to lose you before i’d even got you back” he says, and your heart swells.

“we promised to love each other always, matt.”

“i know, baby. and i do. so much.” he grabs your face in between his hands now, and you can’t help but let out a smile.

“i’m sorry” you whisper, and his face screws in confusion.

“for getting mad. what you did in those 6 months shouldn’t matter. but-“

“it’s okay” he cuts you off. “it’s totally okay. i should have told you.”

and then he kisses you, softly, like he doesn’t know what your reaction will be, but you lean in to kiss him back.

“can we go home?” you ask, suddenly feeling drained and out of social battery.

“i was about to ask you the same thing.”

and so he drove you both home, his hand on your thigh the entire time as he drove, a comfortable silence washing over you. but when you pull up, you need to ask him one more thing before you get let the situation drop.

“matt” you start, and he turns to you. “you said it would have been selfish to ask me back so soon.”

his eyes look over you, but you continue. “is that why you stopped contact? so that you wouldn’t?”

he sighs, twisting his position to look out the front of his car. and he thinks for a while. i can see him trying to figure out what to say. and then he turns to look at you again.

“yes. it was so hard for me. chris and nick kept telling me i was stupid, that you loved me and that you would have supported me no matter what we went through. but i knew that the break would have made us stronger. and then i saw you thriving y/n, you were telling me all these amazing things and i just couldn’t. we needed time apart, to focus on other things. and i don’t know why i started hooking up with her, maybe to fill a void? life was hard without you.”

you nod, you understand. “i would have come straight back.” you say, and he smiles.

“i know. and that’s why i couldn’t.”

you sit in silence for a while, thinking about him. the life you had before. but also the life you had now. and it had worked. he was yours. no one else’s.

“i understand. i really do. im so proud of you”

“for what?”

“everything, matt. you say you saw me thriving but every single day, i saw you. and chris and nick. and maybe im selfish that i would have come back so quickly, but im proud of you, okay? so fucking proud.”

and his lips are on yours immediately, pushing you against the car window, and you can’t help but giggle into him.

“i should be grateful, i suppose” you mutter against his lips, and he pulls away to look at you with a questioning glare. you shrug. “cause now i know no other chick can fill your void.”

“oh shut up” he mumbles, but you’re both laughing as he kisses you again.

[cassandrasimplex]

Listen, when I say, as an abuse survivor, that Astarion's storyline is written with care, delicacy, and profound understanding: Since I completed it a few days ago, which I found incredibly cathartic and fulfilling due to points of commonality with the nature and causes of my CPTSD, I've been sleeping 7-8 hours a night straight through (instead of 3-5 at a time), my resting heart rate has dropped almost 10 beats per minute, I've had zero nightmares (based not just on what I remember but also on how much I move and talk in my sleep), and my fitness tracker wants to know what I've been doing different lately and whether I can keep it up.

I don't expect this change to be permanent or even long-lasting, but not even months of therapy at a time have ever had a positive effect so strong my tracker picked up on it. Not even when I was in crisis mode and only able to sleep 2 or 3 hours a day was therapy able to improve my sleep and my well-being so immediately. Astarion's storyline from finding Cazador's prisoners to the final confrontation, which took me a bit over an hour, did. If you want to count all the narrative build-up to that climax that gave it meaning, call it six weeks' investment for such a dramatic improvement.

The idea that trauma-aware roleplay can help people with PTSD and especially CPTSD find short-term peace and even a long-term improvement in overall functioning and mental health isn't new to me. I stumbled across it on my own, unguided, 30+ years ago. It's a bit newer to most therapists, but it's an approach used in experiential therapy and some related strategies and had been studied for much longer before its incorporation in such toolkits. But BG3 isn't being sold as therapy; it's being sold as a fun video game to play in one's free time.

The thing about CPTSD and recovery from abuse in general is that you have to practice new ways of reacting to the world. Therapies like cognitive behavior therapy focus on helping the patient replace old, maladaptive patterns of thinking that helped them survive a traumatic situation but hinder functioning in safer environments with intentionally-created ones that would have been too dangerous to practice in the traumatic environment but are healthier and more supportive outside it. These patterns have to be practiced, though; it's not enough to just correct yourself once with a more affirming statement and wait for results. You have to do it over and over until it becomes your new default. And results matter. If practicing the new behavior or thought results in the kind of negative outcome it would have prompted in the original abusive situation, the effect is that the old, maladaptive pattern is reinforced instead: "See? I knew acting that way would be too dangerous. I knew thinking that way would just be lying to myself. I already know what's best. The way I've always behaved in order to survive is what serves to keep me safe."

Which is why Astarion's storyline is both so effective and so astonishingly well done. Over and over, you get the chance to reassure him that your friendship is not merely a set of opportunistic transactions, that you don't want to control him, that you see him as a person rather than a puppet or a tool, that he can refuse to manage your feelings for you or even outright hurt your feelings without being "punished" for it. You can comment out loud to him when you catch him being manipulative and tell him that's not how your friendship works while still accepting and supporting him as a person, as a friend. You can make your friendship with him an environment completely opposite in nature to his relationship with his abuser. You can teach him -- and, if you need it, yourself -- what a safe environment looks like. And you can teach him that his abuser's behavior was successful in an environment created specifically to reserve all power for the abuser, but doesn't serve as well outside that situation, to encourage him to find healthier ways of dealing with the world than the ones that were modelled for him within that trauma. (Am I projecting? Of course I'm projecting; that's precisely what makes roleplay such an effective tool. It's a natural human tendency that can be used to advantage.)

And somewhere in your psyche, if you're a person who needs to hear all that as much as Astarion does, your mind is taking note: "How I thought the whole world works was wrong. Only that one little part of the world worked that way. The world is much bigger than the limited environment that hurt me. There are better ways to live and be." The parts of the brain where trauma plants its deepest roots can't tell the difference between play and reality, between past and present. They can't tell the difference between "I can make a safer environment for this person in front of me" and "I can go back in time and make a safer environment for the person I used to be." (That's why so many abuse survivors feel compelled to help other abuse survivors -- empathy, yes, and identification, but on a deeper level than that; we try to become the person who never showed up to help us.)

And if "this person in front of me" happens to be a fictional character, well, it can't really tell the difference between fiction and reality either -- especially when the fiction has a visible face and an audible voice and convincing expression in both.

I'm not in the slightest saying, "Go out and buy BG3 to fix yourself!" because using roleplay as therapy is far too highly personal and variable to expect consistent results from a script. There might be people whose trauma is reinforced by the same things that spoke so soothingly to mine. Larian is a video game company, not a therapist. But I can't get over the way a video game company for fuck's sake has created such a sensitive, tender, supportive story that it can even accidentally function this way. They didn't have to go so hard. They didn't have to lean so far into empathy. They didn't have to bring so much realism into it. They could have just told an interesting story. They did tell an interesting story -- but someone here decided they needed to tell it so well, so powerfully, that they were going to need to know exactly what living through events like those would do to a person, and how a friend would have to act to support that person in working toward happiness and health.

Well fucking done, Larian. Extremely well fucking done.

And although I can't reasonably expect the current effects to last, I can carry something lasting from here on; I can add "What would I say to Astarion right now?" to the list of questions I ask myself when triggered, when I realize I'm experiencing an implicit flashback. What would I say to Astarion? What would I say to a friend? What would I say to someone I care about who's been through the same things I have? What would I say to myself if I thought I deserved to be happy and free?

[boldlyvoid]

Christmas Cookies

Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Summary: Spencer's neighbour gives him a plate of whatever she makes her family for dinner most nights. When he comes home to see smoke bellowing out of her kitchen window, the last thing on his mind is some burnt parchment paper under her Christmas cookies.

Warnings: mutual pining, divorced reader, mom reader, food mentions, cooking, flirting

word count: 2.2k

When he got back from prison, his apartment didn’t feel like home anymore.

It felt tainted… it felt wrong to be there where so many terrible memories took place. He’s been through so much in these 4 green walls and now he can’t stomach being there anymore. 

He spends some time at JJ’s, in her spare room. He sleeps on Penelope’s couch and in the guest house at Daves but he hates feeling like a burden. So, during his mandatory month off, he packs everything up, terminates his lease and rents a new apartment in a tiny complex closer to work. And on the first night, he was there, unboxing everything, he smelled something… something delicious. 

He didn’t pack any food cause he didn’t really have any in the cupboards when he was packing and he hasn’t had time to go to the grocery store yet. So the smell makes his stomach growl, so he follows the smell. Thinking that his neighbour must’ve just got a delivery because it smelled so powerful. 

He knocks on the door, a little nervous but too hungry to care. And a little kid answers the door, probably no older than Jack. “Hi?” 

“Andrew!” A woman yells from inside the house and comes rushing to the door with a dishtowel in her hands. “How many times have I told you not to answer the door?” 

“She’s right,” Spencer agrees with her. “Sorry, I just moved in next door and I wanted to know what that smell is? It smells amazing?” 

“Oh,” the woman softens. “I’m making Carne Asada tacos for dinner…” 

“Oh, oh, I thought maybe you ordered something in 'cause the smell is so strong out here it’s just amazing… and you make it yourself?” 

She nods, a beautiful smile on her face, “I do… actually, we have a lot here, would you like some?” 

“Oh, no, I can’t impose,” he instantly feels bad. 

“I insist! Just wait here, and I’ll put some in a Tupperware and you can bring the dish back when you’re done?” She agrees 

“Okay,” he agrees. 

And that’s how it starts. 

Every few days she brings him over some dinner, he tries a plethora of new dishes and baked goods and it goes on for months. Everyone has noticed the change in him, the tummy he’s gotten from eating home-cooked meals and the smile on his face when he heads out right at 5 to catch the 5:15 train home. 

It’s snowing as he walks from the train station to their apartment building. He can see her kitchen window is open and steam is barrelling out… she’s cooking up a storm today and their building's fire alarm is so sensitive. 

But there’s too much steam, it almost looks like smoke. So he rushes inside, double-timing the steps and almost colliding with her door as he knocks on it. Her son, Andrew, opens it with a smile. “hey— are you okay?” 

“Are you? Is your mom?” He worries. “It looked like there was a fire in the kitchen from the street?” 

He shrugs and lets Spencer in and he rushes right to the kitchen. He knows where it is because the layouts of their apartments are exactly the same. And when he gets there, she’s covered in flower and fanning a tray of cookies where the parchment had caught fire in the oven. “Spencer?” She asks as she sees him. “What are you—

“There was smoke coming from the window as I walked up to the building,” he explains, hand on his chest as he finally catches his breath. “I was scared you had a fire.” 

“Well, I kinda did,” she grits her teeth and panic smiles. “This is the last time I get the cheap parchment paper from the dollar store.” 

“Yeah that doesn’t sound smart…” he agrees, searching the countertops for the packaging. He picks up the box of parchment paper and reads the back. “It’s only good up to 250 degrees, your cookies are at 375 so yes, they’re going to burn… I have some real expensive parchment that came with a gift basket when I moved in, do you want it?” 

“You’d be okay with giving it to me?” She swoons a bit. 

He nods, “Yeah, it’s not like I can bake.” 

“Do you want some cookies? I can make you any that you want?” She offers in return. 

“Whatever you’re making now, I’d love to taste test?” 

“You’ve got a deal.” 

He rushes back to his place, puts his things away and checks his hair in the mirror before grabbing the parchment paper and heads back over. He was told before he left that he didn’t need to knock, so he doesn’t. It feels weird, but he walks right in and hands her the parchment and she hands him a naked gingerbread cookie. 

“Sorry, he’s not decorated yet… You don’t have any allergies, right?” She asks. “I can’t believe I’ve been feeding you for months and never asked that.” 

He laughs, “I’m just slightly lactose intolerant, it’s nothing serious.” 

“Oh, good,” she’s so relieved. 

He takes a bite of the cookie and almost melts, “oh my god?” 

“You like it?” 

“Like it?” He exaggerates. “It’s one of the best cookies I’ve ever had in my life! Holy cow…” 

“thank you,” she swoons again. “You can have some to take home?” 

“Thank you… but why are you making so many?” 

“Drew has a holiday party at school and needs enough for 36 kids,” she explains. “I’m also going to make some specifically for his teacher as her gift for the year.” 

“I loved giving my teachers gifts when I could.” 

“Do you want to help?” She offers, pointing at their kitchen table where there are some deconstructed boxes waiting to be assembled. “You could put those together for me?” 

“I’d love to!” He finishes his cookie and takes a seat, still facing her so he can watch her work around the kitchen. He thinks she’s magnificent, he’d never want to miss a smile or a yawn or a nose scrunch or anything… she’s so pretty. He loves to look at her. 

He has a ph.d in engineering so putting together gift boxes isn’t the hardest thing in the world, it’s making sure they still look pretty when he’s done what he’s worried about. He tapes them into place and concentrates so hard he doesn’t even notice that she’s made another batch of cookies while he’s been nose-deep in cardboard, even with the wonderful smell wafting around. 

“What are you making now?” 

“Chai sugar cookies,” she smiles. “This artist I like posted a recipe and I’ve wanted to try them… so, why not? If I don’t like them I can give them away.” 

“Smart,” he agrees. “They smell amazing though, I’m sure they’ll be delicious too.” 

“They have to cool for a bit,” she shares, taking out a thing of cling film and wrapping it up to go in the fridge. “They’ll be in there for 30 minutes.” 

“Have you guys had dinner yet?” Spencer asks because it’s almost 6 and she’s made nothing but cookies. 

“It was going to be left overnight… but I don’t have that much here,” she teases. “We might just get a pizza.” 

“I’ll get it,” Spencer offers. “You’ve fed me so much, let me repay the favour?” 

“Are you sure?” She worries, “Are you okay for it?” 

He laughs, “Yeah… yeah I’m good.” 

“I just thought you’re in the same little shitty apartments as us…” 

“I work for one of the most important units in the FBI,” he smirks, not wanting to brag but… “Believe me, I’ve got this.” 

“Did I hear pizza?” Drew asks from the doorway. 

“You did,” Spencer teases. “You wanna come with me to pick it up?” 

“Can I?” He begs his mom. 

She nods, “Yeah, just, don’t let him convince you he needs more than just pizza.” 

Spencer can’t make any promises. 

He has to grab his coat and his wallet from his apartment before they go. Drew gets all dressed up for the snow and then the two of them head out down the street. “So, how’s things?” Spencer asks, trying to make conversation. 

“Good… I’m excited for Christmas.” 

“Me too,” he agrees. “What did you ask Santa for?” 

“I don’t believe in Santa anymore,” Drew laughs, “I’m 13.” 

“Oh… okay, then what did you ask your mom for?” 

“Not much, just the renewal for my Playstation game pass and some new headphones,” he explains. “I’ve got everything else I need, really.” 

“That’s really mature of you,” Spencer compliments. “I know kids your age would ask for everything under the sun if they knew their mom would do anything for them.” 

“She does so much for me, and now that we’re alone I don’t want to put too much pressure on her,” he shares. “I miss my dad but, I think she’s happier now that she left him.” 

“Do you see him often?” 

He shakes his head, “he’s in California with his other family… he was cheating on my mom.” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he had no idea. They don’t really talk so how would he know? 

“It’s okay,” he shrugs it off. “You ever been married?” 

He shakes his head. “No, I’ve only had like 3 girlfriends in my whole life.” 

“Seriously? I had 3 last year,” Drew teases. 

“Of course you did,” Spencer just shakes his head. “Well, I was so weird growing up, I’m still weird now.” 

“Well, my mom likes you,” he bumps his shoulder against Spencer’s. “So you’re doing something right.” 

“She does?” He can’t believe it. 

“Duh?” He teases. “She makes sure she looks pretty before bringing you dinner every night that you’re home.” 

He blushes, “oh… I thought she just always looked pretty.”

“So you like her too?” Drew lights right up. “You should ask her out!” 

“And you’d be okay with that?” 

He nods enthusiastically, “I can even go eat in my room tonight so the two of you can just talk and hang out? Please, it would be the best Christmas gift I could give her to get her a boyfriend who’s actually nice and likes her.” 

“Yeah… yeah I can be that for her.” 

—

When they come back with two pizza boxes, dips and garlic knots, she just crosses her arms and sighs, “Drew…” 

“What? He offered!” He whines. 

“I did,” Spencer smiles. “It’s no big deal, now you’ll have more leftovers.” 

She just smiles, “Okay, well, come in and get a plate let’s get to eating.” 

Drew does just what he said he would, he finds a way to ditch them and head to his room and then Spencer is alone with the most beautiful woman ever. They talk about random things like living in the city and Christmas plans and how Drew is doing in school… but he just wants to ask her out. He stares at her lips and he wants to kiss her and learn all about her and then she notices. 

“What?” She asks, hiding her mouth. “Is there something—

“No… you’re just beautiful,” he swoons. Giving in completely. 

She smiles and her hand drops, “really?” 

He nods, “Really, really… would you want to go on a date sometime? I’m sure Drew can handle a few hours alone while we hang out and if not, my friend has a kid around his age he can meet?” 

“You have friends with a 13-year-old?” She’s so shocked. 

“Well, he’s 12 but yeah,” he nods. “He’s my godson.” 

“I would love to spend some more alone time with you… wherever you want to take me,” she adds, realizing that sounded a lot dirtier than she planned. “I mean—

“i get you,” Spencer teases, trying not to laugh. “My work has a Christmas party coming up if you want to come with me and share some of your burnt cookies?” 

She laughs this time, “Yeah, when I meet your friends they are getting fresh cookies.” 

“Okay, good,” he smiles. “Maybe we can go out before then too? I’d love to take you out to dinner… though nothing will be as good as what you can make.” 

“Then why don’t I make you my favourite meal and we can eat at your apartment?” She suggests. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” he agrees. “I’ll make sure it’s nice and romantic.” 

“The way you look at me is romantic enough,” she teases. 

“From the first time I saw you I knew I wanted more than just your cooking,” he assures. “I think you’re so kind and so pretty, I can’t believe I get to talk to you let alone the privilege of taking you out— even if it’s just across the hall.” 

“I don’t typically share food… but you were too cute to starve,” she teases again. 

“And now look at me!” He points down at his stomach. “I barely fit in my suit pants." 

“You look healthy… and scrumptious, might I add.” 

His brow goes up, “really? Well, thank you for helping me get here.” 

“I knew you’d be more handsome with some meat on your bones… you’re so good-looking it's honestly crazy that you’re into me,” she whispers, not wanting Drew to hear their flirting. “I like you so much, Spencer.” 

“The feeling is mutual.” 

“I’m free tomorrow if you are?” 

“and every day after that,” he assures that this thing between them is real and not just some random infatuation that will die off in a week. 

He wants her for as long as she’ll have him. 

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22

[morgana-larkin]

So about a month ago @winters-witch24 and I talked about what if Melissa secretly loves Disney movies and so I wrote a fic about it. I tried to include as much songs from Disney movies as possible, mostly the classics. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I’m almost done the Chessy one and I got like 5 others that I started. I guess meeting a girl really gets the creative juices flowing, lol.

Once Upon A Time

Warnings: just a bunch of fluff and Mel being a big Disney lover

Words: 2.15

“So I was thinking, for date night tonight, we could watch a Disney movie.” You suggest to Melissa and she looks at you with a smile.

“Which one?” She asks as you two are sitting on the couch in the break room before school starts. You two have a date night every Friday night, always a perfect end to a long week.

“Just the best classic one, Cinderella.” You tell her and she shakes her head and blushes. “What’s wrong with Cinderella?”

“Nothing Tesoro. Growing up with 8 younger siblings, I watched a lot of Disney movies and I love them.” She tells you and you put your head on her shoulder.

“So which one is your favourite?”

“Surprisingly, Cinderella, so your choice is perfect. But I also like Snow White, Lady and the Tramp and Beauty and the Beast.”

“I love those too! But just like you, my favourite is Cinderella. I also like Sleeping Beauty, the little mermaid, the lion king, Aladdin and Hercules. Oh and who could forget Mary Poppins.” You tell her and she wraps an arm around you.

“It’s Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” She starts to sing and a smile forms on your mouth. “Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious.” She continues and then you lift your head off her shoulder and turn to face her, then you both start singing.

“If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!” You both sing and then the trio and Barb walk in. “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!” You both continue singing and then she brings you closer to her as you both giggle.

“What’s going on in here?” Barb asks with a smile at seeing her best friend so happy.

“Nothing, just singing Mary Poppins.” You tell her and everyone smiles at you two.

After school you head over to your place to change out of your work clothes and into some comfier clothes. You slip on some leggings and a loose t-shirt and then head over to Melissa’s place.

You and Melissa have been dating for about two months now and you both couldn’t be happier. You both were attracted to each other for a few months until Melissa accidentally blurted it out right to you. You didn’t tell anyone but they figured it out quickly, especially since Melissa can’t keep her hands to herself. Ever since you both got together then Melissa always has her hands on you, either hand holding, cuddling, arm around your waist, hugging you. She did ask when you started dating if you were ok with PDA and physical touch, which you told her you were more than ok with.

She opens the door and you both kiss each other before you bounce over to the tv to go into Disney+. Melissa giggles at your eagerness and joins you after grabbing the plates with dinner that she made. You put on Cinderella while you dig into the dinner. The combination of Melissa’s food, watching Cinderella and sitting next to the woman you love is enough to know that you feel this is where you’re meant to be and it’ll put a smile on your face for days.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes.” Melissa starts singing and looks at you with a smile. It’s enough to make you feel a hoard of butterflies in your stomach and make your heart flutter.

When you finish your dinner, you both place the plates on the coffee table and then cuddle each other. You wrap your arms around her waist and rest your head on her chest and continue watching the movie. Melissa wraps an arm around your shoulders and brings you closer to her and then places a kiss at the top of your head.

“If I was Cinderella then I would have punched one of them by now.” You say and she laughs.

“Ya? I definitely would have already done that too.” She says and you smile.

You both continue watching and then the scene with the fairy godmother comes and you both sing along to bibbidi- bobbidi-boo.

“Salagadoola menchicka boola, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. Put ‘em together and what have you got? Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo! Salagadoola menchicka boola, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. It’ll do magic, believe it or not. bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!”

“Now salagadoola means menchicka boolaroo. But the thingamabob that does the job is Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!” Melissa continues to sing while you just enjoy watching her have fun singing along.

When the movie ends, Melissa is sitting with her back on the side of the couch with you cuddling on her. You have your arms wrapping around her waist and she’s lightly scratching your scalp, you’re both very relaxed after a stressful week of grading.

“Wanna watch another one?” You suggest and she looks at you with a smile.

“How about The Little Mermaid?” She says and you smile excitedly.

“Oh I love The Little Mermaid!” You say and quickly grab the remote and put it on.

You both watch the beginning and you just watch Melissa sing along to ‘Part Of Your World’.

“Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun! Wanderin’ free, wish I could be, part of your world.” She sings and you just stare at her with a smile. “What are you staring at?” She asks you.

“You. Staring at you singing along to Disney movies. I wouldn’t peg you for a Disney lover.” You say and she chuckles.

“Not many people know so don’t go around saying anything. Got a reputation to keep.” She says and you laugh.

“Noted.”

You get to the part when Sebastian is trying to keep Ariel from being closer to humans and then under the sea starts playing.

“The human world, it’s a mess. Life under the sea is better than anything they got up there!” You sing along and then you stand up as you can’t resist dancing to it. “Come on get up! Let’s dance!” You tell her and she immediately giggles and gets up. “Such wonderful things surround you. What more is you looking for?”

“Under the sea, under the sea. Darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from me! Up on the shore they work all day, out in the sun they slave away. While we devotin’, full time to floatin’ , UNDER THE SEA!” You sing as she spins you around and then get back to just excitedly dancing together.

You both sit back on the couch and watch the few minutes until ‘poor unfortunate souls’ comes on and Melissa can’t resist.

“I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty, they weren’t kidding when they called me well a witch.” Melissa starts singing to you. “And here lately, please don’t laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely and depressed, pathetic.” She says and gets up. “Poor Unfortunate Souls!” She sings and starts creepily circling the couch and stops behind you. “This one longing to be thinner this one wants to get the girl, and do I help them? Yes indeed.”

You watch her have fun and you say Ariel’s lines. She keeps smiling at you and you can’t help but smile back at her.

“Yes I’ve had the odd complaint, but on the whole I’ve been a saint to those poor unfortunate souls. Have we got a deal?”

“If I become human, I’ll never be with my father or sisters again.” You say when Ariel does.

She continues to circle the couch while she continues singing and stops when she’s right beside you. “But they dote and swoon and fawn, on a lady who’s withdrawn, it’s she who holds her tongue who gets a man. Come on you poor unfortunate soul. Go ahead! Make your choice! I’m a very busy woman and I haven’t got all day. It won’t cost much, just your voice!” She continues and walks until she’s right behind you and you turn to look at her. “If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet then you got to pay the toll, take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll. Flotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her boys. The boss is on a roll! This, poor, unfortunate soul!!” She finishes and joins you back on the couch and you’re both giggling.

You both continue cuddling and kiss the girl comes on. You don’t know it but Melissa has always wanted to kiss someone while watching this and she finally has her chance. She hums the song while you sing it and then it gets to the part that she’s been waiting for.

“Sha-la-la-la-la-la the music play, do what the music say, the song say, kiss the girl!” You sing and then she strokes your cheek and you look at her. She gently grabs your chin and pulls you into her. Your lips connect and you both kiss as the song is finishing up. When the song ends is when you both pull apart and you both look at each other with a smile.

“I’ve always wanted to kiss someone while that song plays.” She tells you and you blush.

“So have I.” You say and she grins.

“Well I guess both our fairytale dream came true.” She says and you nod in agreement. The movie ends and Melissa is back on the side of the couch with you laying in between her legs and her arms wrapped around you.

“I love you.” Melissa suddenly says and you move your head and look up at her.

“Really?” You ask and she nods with a smile. “I love you too.” You tell her and then you both seal it with a kiss.

On Monday morning, Melissa drives you both to work as you stayed there all weekend. You sing some more Disney songs on the way and Melissa can’t be happier.

“Heigh-ho, heigh-ho it’s off to work we go!” You both sing and then whistle to the beat. Melissa looks at you with a fond smile, you catch her looking at you and you smile back at her. She reaches for your hand and you hold hands for the rest of the drive.

“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s Amore.” Melissa begins singing and you look at her and listen to her sing the song.

When you both get to Abbott, you get out of the car and begin the walk to the break room.

“Can you feel the love tonight. The peace the evening brings. The world for once in perfect harmony. With all its living things. Can you feel the love tonight! You needn’t look too far. Stealing through the night’s uncertainties.” You both sing and then you bring Melissa closer to you, face to face. “Love is where they are.” You both sing as you stare at each other with a smile.

“Hop a carpet and fly to another Arabian night!!! ARABIAN NIGHT LIKE ARABIAN DAYS!!!” You sing as you spin Melissa around and she laughs.

“Though honey it may seem impossible, that’s the gospel truth!” Melissa sings as you both spin around.

“Don’t you disrespect me little man!” You say as you look at Melissa, who quirks an eyebrow at you. “Don’t you derogate or deride! You’re in my world now, not your world. And I got friends on the other side.” You say and she smiles.

“Be, our, guest, be our guest. Put our service to the test. Tie your napkin ‘round your neck, Cherie and we’ll provide the rest.” You both sing as you reach the break room.

“When the cold wind is a-calling, and the sky is clear and bright. Misty mountains sing and beckon. Lead me out into the light, I will ride, I will fly. Chase the wind and touch the sky.” You sing and then Melissa picks you up and spins you around. “Chase the wind and touch the sky!” You finish as she puts you down and you both turn around and see everyone there staring at you both in shock.

“You two are in a good mood.” Jacob says as he pours some coffee in his mug and goes to sit down.

“Ya, did you two get freaky this weekend?” Ava asks.

“Ava!!” Barb says.

“What? When have you known Melissa to be this happy?” Ava defends herself.

“It’s because they’re in love.” Janine says and you both blush. You and Melissa both go and sit down with Barb at the table.

“We did tell each other we love each other on Friday for the first time.” Melissa says and holds your hand and she smiles at you.

“Well congratulations to you two.” Gregory says.

“Who was singing a bunch of Disney songs in the hall?” Mr. Johnson says as he enters the break room.

“We also watched a shit ton of Disney movies.” You say and you both burst out laughing.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

@ricejucie

@unicorniusfallapatorius

@a-queen-and-her-throne

@sleep-deprived-athlete

@og-kxsh-420

@sasheemo

Let me know if you want to be added!

[ysabelmystic]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[swimmingismywholelife]

The Only Reason

Summary: Even though your relationship with Christian has been rocky, neither of you are willing to go down without a fight.

Warnings: 18+, arguments, panic attack, a lot of crying, angst but a fluffy (if you can call it that I guess) ending, SMUT, some dirty talk, soft dom!Chris, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it and make sure you're not allergic to your wrap!), fingering, oral (f receiving), creampie, the smut is sweet tbh

WC: 4.4K

A/N: It's my birthday but this is a present for all of you! Inspired by "The Only Reason" by 5 Seconds of Summer. My first attempt at smut which lowkey I wasn't supposed to add but it fit anyway. This is a step considering I'm openly horny on main now so you might see more in the future 👀. I literally changed it 1274045923845 times but I'm happy with the way it turned out so I hope you guys think it's good-

"Even though my dizzy head is numb

I swear my heart is never giving up.

You're the reason

The only reason."

~~~

The front door slammed shut, indicating Christian was finally home from training. You sighed, praying this would blow over quickly so you could enjoy your dinner.

The past few weeks had been incredibly frustrating for the both of you. Chelsea had been on a losing streak with hardly any goals and Christian hardly got any play time. He was in the middle of trying to negotiate some sort of deal with the club, either to transfer or give him more playing time. Although it wasn't the option he preferred, it was likely he'd be transferred somewhere else soon, and with that contract talks had to be opened. He loved Chelsea, but the club didn't seem to return that love to him. It heavily weighed on Christian's mind, slowly draining him of the love he had for the sport, sending him deeper into a depressive and angry spiral causing him lash out on everyone.

On top of that, your own stresses had started building up. Your workload had tripled due to you being short staffed. Every time you thought you were done with a project, a modification was added or a brand new one was added to your list of things to do. You were working overtime almost every single day and you were close to ripping your hair out.

Between your work and Christian's training, you'd hardly seen each other over the past few months. He'd been extra short with you recently, something that was pretty unusual for Christian. You were typically the one who struggled to keep your anger in check, but these days it seemed your boyfriend could give you a run for your money. Most days you spent sleeping away from each other as opposed to being cuddled in each others arms. During the very brief moments you did end up spending time together, more often than not it resulted in some kind of an argument.

You both agreed earlier that morning that you were in desperate need of some kind of date night to ease your minds and to spend time together. You decided that a simple dinner would be sufficient enough. It was something small, you wouldn't have to go anywhere, and it was always one of your favorite date ideas since you'd gotten together. You were excited to finally spend time with your boyfriend even if it wasn't anything fancy.

But you knew by the way Christian slammed the door that he thought otherwise. He angrily threw his training bag to the side, grumbling to himself.

"Chris, it doesn't do you any good to pace angrily around the house," you sighed. "At least come eat and try to take your mind off things."

It seemed you only made him angrier.

"God, what don't you get?!" he snapped back. "Fucking food isn't gonna help the situation. Our team is shit, this situation is shit, everything is shit!"

You stood up from your place at the table, upset with Christian for yelling at you when you just wanted to help.

"I understand you're frustrated with everything, but don't take it out on me!" you yelled back. "All I'm trying to do is help you. I'm not a fucking emotional punching bag for you to take your shit out on Christian!"

He slammed his hands on the table, the sound echoing throughout the entire house. It startled you. Christian wasn't one to express his anger through violence like this.

"Why do I even keep fucking trying with you?! All you do is nag and nag and nag! You keep 'trying to help' but you're not!" he screamed back. "All you do is get in my face of 'oh Christian do this,' 'oh Christian try and do that.' Get out of my face for once I'm fucking tired of it!"

You were stunned. Your heart with each word Christian spat out at you. You loved him, but you knew you didn't deserve what he'd been giving you for the past few months.

"Fine. I'll 'get out of your face,'" you said calmly.

"Actually you know what? I'll do it myself. Being in here suffocates me," he said venomously, grabbing his keys and storming out the house.

You moved into the bedroom the two of you shared. What once felt like home to you felt like a prison suffocating you the longer you stood in it. And you just fell to your knees and cried.

You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment where it all started going wrong. You and Christian weren't perfect of course, but you just worked. You understood each other like no one else. You'd experienced things together that you'd never had with other people. You hadn't grown up with Christian in the past, but that didn't matter. He was your present and was going to be your future.

But that was then. Somewhere along the way, things changed. Nowadays he barely made time for you. He was gone before you woke up and you were asleep before he came home. Date nights were nonexistent, special occasions stopped being special. You couldn't keep begging for his attention, wondering if this time would be enough to keep it.

You didn't want things to end. That was absolutely the last thing you wanted to do. You loved Christian with everything you had. But you were the only one trying and you both knew that. Somewhere Christian just fell out of love with you while you were desperately trying to grasp onto something. But it was no use. He was gone a long time ago.

Christian was in the middle of figuring out the trajectory of his career, unsure if he was to wait out his contract with Chelsea for the next season or leave for a club that truly appreciated him. And pretty soon, he would be flying back to the States for international break. The last thing you wanted to do was add onto the stress Christian was feeling.

But how long would you have to keep sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of his?

Christian didn't come home that night, nor the night after that, nor the night after that. Not that you really expected him to. He hadn't been home all that much anyway, and even while he was there physically, he wasn't there. So sleeping alone in your bed wasn't that much of a foreign feeling anymore anyway. And the longer he was away, the foggier your mind became. The answer was right there in front of you. This was Christian blatantly telling you how he felt about your relationship. Right?

It wasn't until about a week later that Christian had contacted you, letting you know he'd be coming back that night. You mentally prepared yourself for the worst.

The door opened, causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You could hear the clattering of the keys being placed on the table and footsteps heading up the stairs.

The lights flickered in your bedroom. Your eyes met his, startling him.

"Oh hey, I didn't realize you'd still be up," Christian said surprised, removing his jacket and placing it on a chair.

"We need to talk Christian," you said, trying to prevent your voice from wavering.

"We'll talk in the morning, Y/N. It's kind of late and I don't want another fight right now," he responded.

"I'm serious Christian," you answered, feeling your heart breaking already. "And I don't think this can wait until morning."

"Why do you keep using my full name?" Christian asked uncomfortably. "You only use it like this when something's really wrong."

You didn't answer. Instead you got up from your place on the bed and hugged his waist, completely breaking down. You felt like you couldn't breathe through all the tears and the pain you felt. Your body gave out as you fell to the ground, taking Christian with you.

For a second time that night, Christian was surprised. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, kissing your head.

"Hey, hey, baby what's wrong? What's going on?" he asked.

You couldn't get the words out. You only cried harder as he led you back to your bed. You took in this moment with him, not knowing if this was the last night you would sharing with him. You tried to memorize the scent of his favorite cologne, how perfectly you fit into his arms, the way his kisses felt. You wanted to remember how safe you felt with Christian and how your heart longed for him to come home to you.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay. I'm right here. I won't ever let anything hurt you," he said, trying to soothe you.

Little did he realize he was the reason you were hurting so much.

You held Christian close to you as the weight of your decision started to kick in. You wanted nothing more in this world than to be with Christian. He meant everything to you. You wanted it all with him. You wanted to marry him one day, carry his children, grow old together. You wanted to wear his last name to every game he played, to support him as he reached all his dreams. You could have nothing but Christian and you would be perfectly content.

Your mother had told you growing up that every scenario that came your way had three answers: yes, no, or wait. And you so desperately wanted to believe Christian was your sign that being patient was worth it. That waiting would be worth it. That one day it would bring you the happiness you craved and you deserved.

But how long were you supposed to wait? How long had you waited for him to fulfill his promises? How long had you been patient with him? How long had you stayed loyal every time he'd taken his anger out on you? How long had you been contemplating if you were worth saving? Was this just patience or were you holding onto something that you should've let go of a long time ago?

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier baby," he said, stroking your hair trying to soothe you. "I didn't mean it. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry."

You couldn't get words out. You needed just one last night to call yourself his before you could make your final decision.

"Just hold me please," you sobbed out, gripping his body as hard as you could.

"I'll do whatever you need baby. I'm right here. I'll always be right here."

Christian was scared. He didn't fully understand what was going on or why you were crying the way you were. But he knew something was off and something was wrong. So he just held you as you let out all the emotions you'd been feeling for weeks.

Christian knew it was more serious than he initially thought when you kept crying for over an hour. He didn't realize how absent he'd been from your life until then. How long had you been feeling such emotional turmoil? What else had he missed? Why were you crying this hard for so long?

Truthfully, he was afraid to find out. As shitty of a boyfriend he'd been over the past few weeks, Christian loved you with every fiber of his being. The last thing he wanted to do was lose you, the relationship you'd built up for years together.

But he knew the likelihood of a break up was probably looming in your mind. Was this it? Was this a sign that something was coming to an end? He didn't want to know. He knew you two needed to talk, especially after the way he walked out. But he was afraid of the outcome.

So he just held you close to him, praying this wouldn't be the last time he got to feel you like this. He took in your scent, trying to memorize the way you felt in his arms. He left kisses on your forehead, shoulders, and cheeks, wiping the tears away as he went.

You eventually calmed down, your grip on Christian never loosening.

"Christian I-" you gasped out.

"It's okay baby, take your time. You don't have to rush anything you don't want to," he whispered gently, kissing your forehead again.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly.

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about," he said. "If anything, I should be the one who's sorry. I've been such a horrible boyfriend. I shouldn't have said what I said, I shouldn't have done what I did."

"Christian…" you trailed.

"Shh, it's okay baby. It's okay. We don't have to talk about this right now. We can talk about this in the morning. Just let me hold you right now. Everything is going to be okay," he said softly.

"Chris I'm scared," you whispered.

His heart broke a little knowing you were scared of what morning would entail.

"I'm scared too baby. I'm so fucking scared," he admitted. "But we'll talk about this when it comes okay? Just be here with me now. Nothing else is going to hurt you tonight I promise."

The two of you were laying on your side facing each other. Your head was tucked into his chest, tears flowing every so often. Christian never once let go, not even when his arms started going numb. You were afraid to close your eyes, scared that Christian would be gone the moment you opened them.

Your body stopped shaking and you eventually stopped crying during the early morning hours. You were quiet. And if he didn't know you well, Christian would've believed you were asleep.

But he knew better. He knew that you couldn't sleep because neither could he. Just two souls barely hanging on by a thread not knowing how to fix it.

Did you want to fix things? Or were things so far gone there was nothing you could do anymore? Was this still worth it? Was a future still possible? Would love be enough to save this?

You were set on breaking up with him the night before. You were so sure that's what you wanted. But under the moonlight that peaked through your window, you didn't know what to do anymore. Your head was dizzy with thoughts and you couldn't think clearly anymore.

"Christian?" you called out quietly.

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing?"

His body tensed at the question. He was quiet at first, not wanting to say the wrong thing. He knew this was it. His answer would either make or break your relationship.

"I don't know baby," he answered honestly.

You nestled your head further into his chest.

"I don't want to keep doing this. Guessing if you still want us. You're either in or you're out Chris. I don't want to keep playing your games."

Christian had to stop himself from letting out a sob and took a deep breath. You didn't trust him or his words anymore. And realizing that absolutely broke his heart.

"Can you look at me Y/N?" he asked.

You hesitated for a moment before lifting your head. Christian cupped your cheek with his hand, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth. He rested his forehead on yours.

"You don't have to say anything okay? Just hear me out. I know I've been a shitty boyfriend. I know I haven't been there for you. I haven't treated you well. I've lashed out on you when you've done nothing but love and support me. Through all the shit the world's thrown at me this season, you've been everything I need and more. And I haven't appreciated that. And you deserve so much more than what I've been giving you."

Christian stopped for a moment, taking the opportunity to look at you. How could he have hurt you so bad? How could he let everything slip between his fingers?

"I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry that you've lost trust in my words. You always tell me that my words, my actions, and my intentions need to line up and they haven't been and I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry I've broken so many promises. And most of all, I'm sorry that you're hurting and I'm the cause of it when I told you I'd never let anyone hurt you. I failed to see what was right in front of me and I've taken you for granted and I'm so sorry."

A tear fell from your eye, quickly caught by Christian's thumb.

"I don't deserve you. I really don't. You know that and I know that better than anyone."

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead further into yours.

"But please don't give up on us. I know you can't trust my words right now, but I swear to you I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I can't let you go. Not now and not ever. No more games. No more confusion. No more trying to guess where my head and where my heart stand with you. Right here, right now, forever and always I'm with you. My head is with you. My heart is with you. All of me is with you. And I promise I'll prove it every day for as long as I live. So please. Give me one last chance to be with you."

You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what you wanted anymore. How could you trust him? He was saying all the right words, but did he really mean it? Were they more empty words?

Yes, no, or wait. Just like your mother said. But you'd waited so long that it seemed almost futile. Had you been wasting your time? Or was this what you were meant to do?

And though your head was fighting with itself, dizzy and numb from the constant questions running around, you knew where your heart lied. So you did the only thing you felt could portray how you felt enough to give him and answer.

You lifted your chin and kissed him deeply, wrapping your arms around his neck. His grip on your cheek was firm, bringing you as close as you could physically get. The tears wouldn't stop flowing from either of your faces, but none of that mattered. What mattered was here and now.

Yes, no, or wait. And you finally got your answer.

He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed to breathe. And truthfully, he needed you to breathe.

You pulled back ever so slightly, just enough for you to be able to talk.

"You get one chance at this Chris. Only one," you said breathlessly. "Don't waste it."

His lips were back on yours in response, his teeth tugging on your bottom lip. You let out a soft moan as he pushed you onto your back, settling himself in between your legs. He pulled back keeping his forehead to yours breathing heavily.

"I love you Y/N. I love you so much you don't even know," he said. "I won't waste it. Not ever again."

You grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to your lips, needing to feel him closer. Your hands traveled underneath his shirt, nails scratching his skin lightly as they roamed his chest.

Christian pulled back from you for a moment to rip his shirt off before attaching his lips back to yours, giving you more access to him. You couldn't keep your hands off each other, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring you even closer to him.

"Chris," you whispered. "I need-"

"I know baby," he answered. "I know. Let me take care of you."

You whimpered beneath him as his lips moved to your neck, leaving a trail of marks as he gave you sloppy but gentle kisses. He bit down on the spot just below your ear, causing you to let out a loud moan.

"Does that feel good baby?" he whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine that resonated throughout your whole body.

"God yes Chris it feels so good please," you begged beneath him.

His hands grabbed the bottom of your shirt, bringing it over your head and pressing his chest against yours as he kissed your lips gently.

"So fucking beautiful. And all mine," he said to himself.

His lips returned to your neck, this time the trail leading to your breasts. You gasped as you felt his tongue along your nipple, pressing yourself further into his mouth. You only squirmed more as he moved to your other side, your fingers tangled in his hair tugging lightly. He kissed down your torso until he reached the band of your shorts.

"May I?" he asked softly.

You nodded your head frantically.

"Words baby." His fingers hooked into them, toying with the fabric. "You know the drill. I can't give you what you want unless you tell me."

"Yes please," you whined, wiggling your hips in the hopes of getting the clothing off you faster.

"Please what Y/N?"

"Please take them off Chris please. I wanna feel you on my pussy please, please, please."

"Good girl."

He slowly slid your shorts down, taking a little too long for your liking. He kissed down your stomach, loving how you were falling apart beneath him.

His fingers rubbed over the dark spot of your underwear. You gasped, hands grabbing the sheets tightly. He moved his fingers almost in a trance watching as the patch grew darker and larger.

"You're so fucking wet baby. You like it when I touch you like this?" he chuckled.

"Yes I love feeling you play with my pussy!" you moaned, grinding your hips against his fingers.

Christian pulled your underwear to the side. You shivered in anticipation as you felt Christian's breath on your lips.

"Can I taste you?" he asked, running his fingers through your folds.

"God yes! Please let me feel your tongue," you begged, lacing your fingers through his hair to bring him closer.

"As you wish princess."

Your back arched the moment his tongue made contact with you. He licked from the bottom all the way to your clit, lightly sucking on it. You moaned tugging at his curls. The louder you moaned, the faster he went alternating between licking and sucking. Your thighs closed around his head as you pushed him closer to you.

You were so lost in the pleasure that you were surprised when Christian inserted two of his fingers into your folds. You moaned even louder at the intrusion.

"God Christian more please. Please I need more!"

You were begging, but you didn't even know what you were begging for. You just wanted him to keep going.

Christian was enjoying every second of this. He loved watching you fall apart beneath him.

"You need more baby? So greedy. My tongue sucking on your clit and my fingers deep inside your pussy. What else could you want?" he teased, picking up the speed as he fucked you with his fingers.

You couldn't form any proper sentences anymore. Incoherent noises left your mouth as your body started shaking uncontrollably, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"Damn baby you're shaking. Are you close already? I've barely even done anything," he mused, inserting a third finger and fucking you even faster.

"God I'm so fucking close please let me cum! Please please please I need to cum please Christian please!" you all but screamed.

"Shh, it's okay. You can cum baby. Let it go for me," he said softly.

Your vision went blank as you came, your hands grasping at Christian's curls to anchor you to reality. Your legs shook violently as Christian continued coaxing your climax out of you, only slowing down as your body started spasming with overstimulation.

"Christian I need more," you whined, gasping for air.

"I know baby, I know. I'll take good care of you," he said. "I'm right here okay?"

Christian kissed your lips gently, making your heart flutter. He softly caressed your face admiring how you glowed under the moonlight. You melted under his gaze holding him close to you.

"You okay?" he asked.

You nodded, giving him the go ahead. He moved back just enough to remove his bottoms before taking his place between your legs again. He placed both of his hands gently on your cheeks, resting his forehead against yours. He looked deep into your eyes as his thrusted his hips into yours. You gasped into his mouth as he picked up the speed, grinding slow but deep.

"I love you Christian," you moaned breathlessly.

"I love you Y/N," he responded. "I love you so much. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm sorry I made you feel otherwise. And I'll spend the rest of my life proving my worth to you."

The room was quiet except for the skin slapping against each other and the soft gasps you let out. You grabbed Christian's neck, bringing him as close as you possibly could. You needed him in every sense of the word, wanting to feel every inch of his skin on yours. He was yours and you were his. Your bodies intertwined in the same way your souls had all those years ago and that was all you really needed.

"Chris I need-" you were cut off with a particularly deep thrust making you moan, tugging at the curls on the nape of Christian's neck.

"I'm close too baby. Cum with me. Become one with me Y/N."

You had one of the strongest orgasms you'd ever had in your life. Your chest pressed into his as his cum filled you up, clenching your pussy around him. You held each other tightly, afraid to lose one another as space came between you.

The both of you laid there for a moment, basking in the afterglow of being so intimate. You gasped into each others mouths as your heartrates began to slow down ever so slightly.

"God you're so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen," Christian said in awe of you.

You flushed beneath him becoming shy.

"Babe you just came all over my dick. You really shouldn't be that shy," he said cheekily. You scoffed and hit his chest slightly.

"You're actually ridiculous," you said lovingly, pressing your lips to his for a quick kiss.

He pecked you once more before pulling out of you. He got up, grabbing a towel and gently cleaning your body. He left kisses as he went, worshipping your body. Once he was done, he laid on his back bringing your head onto his chest. He kissed the top of your head as you tucked yourself beneath his arm.

"Are we okay Christian?" you asked meekly.

"Yeah baby. We're okay. We're gonna be okay."

Taglist: @pulisicsgirl @chelseagirl98 @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @masonspulisic @notsoattractivearenti @lovelynikol16 @bracedes @mortirolo @nyctophilic0vitnir

[moonlightspencie]

Till the Gravity's Too Much

Chapter 5 of ‘treacherous’

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Word Count: 5.2k

this is a turning point chapter

Being able to switch over to almost exclusively working on medicine for the Order was a blessing and a half. Of course, you were a bit nervous when you first decided to switch over, but after the encouragement from Remus and Sirius, you felt a little better about it. You spoke with Dumbledore about the change privately, letting him be the one to break the news to everyone else. You could tell there were a few who disagreed with you stepping back from being so deeply involved, but the majority was supportive: and that was enough for you.

For as good as things were going with the Order, they were even better at work. You were in the lab with Nemora to work on that no-longer-entirely-experimental extract you’d used on Remus for the first time months ago. You and Nemora finally named the herb ‘arcitasanen’, and decided to make a real potion with the extract of the plant. You ended up using a bit of dittany, the arcitasanen, neem, and salt water. Theoretically, it was designed to be less painful and more fast-acting than the extract on its own.

“Okay, I promise I didn’t do this on purpose,” you say to Nemora as you lift up your pant leg. “But I cut myself shaving, and I may or may not have done anything to help it so that we could test out the new potion.”

Nemora put her hands on her hips, being sure to give you a stern look. Though she already started walking backwards to grab the potion from one of the tables you had used to mix a few test vials. She hurried over to you as you propped your leg up on a stool.

“I don’t approve of this, by the way.”

“Right. And it was all very stupid and immature of me,” you say mindlessly. “Now, let’s see if it works cause this thing has been stinging like a son of a bitch all day.”

She hid a small laugh at that, dabbing the potion on a cotton cloth. “Ready, dear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She pressed the cloth to the cut, and you winced out of habit. But, that was just it: it was purely out of habit. You laughed incredulously.

“That’s a hell of a fast-acting potion,” you exclaim, beaming. 

She lifted the cloth, practically squealing when she saw the cut had disappeared. Not even the faintest mark left over. 

“Oh my days, we did it!”

“We did it!” you repeated, springing up on both feet to wrap her in a tight hug. “Nemora, you are a genius! ”

“Oh, I know I am, dear,” she replied with a small laugh, squeezing you just as tight. “But you were as much of a part of this as I am.”

“Oh!” You let go of the hug, stepping back with stars in your eyes. “Holy shit. I have to go tell Remus!”

She gave you a knowing look that you promptly ignored as you grabbed a vial and ran out of the building. As soon as you were in the open, you apparated to Remus’s cottage, breathing heavily from sheer joy and excitement. You pounded on the door, and were greeted by a tired-looking Lupin. He gave you a curious expression.

“What’s got you all–”

“We did it!”

He quirked a brow, rubbing his cheek with one hand. “Did what, exactly?”

“Do you remember that herb essence I used on you a while back?”

He nodded. “Of course I do.”

“It’s not just an essence anymore,” you beamed, pushing past him.

“Come on in,” he said a bit sarcastically.

“ Someone’s grumpy.”

“ Someone woke me from a rather pleasant nap.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing the vial into his chest. “Fast acting, nearly painless, no marks left behind.”

His eyes widened a little. “Really?”

“Really. It’s a fully-fledged potion now. No scarring, little to no pain, and works in seconds . Rem, this is a game-changer!”

A smile spread on his face. “Wow. I’m… so proud of you. This is incredible.”

“All thanks to you. I never would’ve gotten this job if not for you.”

He smiled softly. “I’m sure you’d be changing lives somewhere no matter what.”

You looked at him for a moment, sighing softly. Even exhausted, you could swear he was glowing somehow. The sun setting cast a beautiful light in the room, and it reflected off of his soft brown hair in a way that nearly had your heart stopping. You only snapped out of it once he ducked his head to try and get your attention.

“You alright?” he asked, the faintest bit of a cheeky smile on his face.

You nodded quickly, glancing away for a moment before looking back at him.

“Great. Truly, I’ve never been better. And now… now next time you get hurt I won’t have to come save the day,” you joked softly.

He shook his head. “You say that as if I don’t enjoy you coming to tend to me.”

“You do?”

His smile faded to a simple aura of contentment. “Yes. I do.”

“Maybe I’ll just have to spend more time with you when you’re not ill, then.”

He shifted on his feet uncomfortably at that, seemingly snapping out of his contentment. He cleared his throat.

“So… tea?” he asked, already turning for the kitchen.

You sighed, biting back a groan of exasperation. You tailed the man as he walked to his kitchen.

“Remus…”

“You like earl grey, yeah?”

“Remus,” you said again.

He glanced at you with wide eyes as soon as he stopped at the stove. “Yes?”

“Why do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?” 

He shook his head, filling the kettle.

“Changing the subject or literally running off every time…” you huffed a breath.

“I don’t run off.”

“Yes, you do!”

He stayed silent, turning on the stove as he put the kettle down on the burner. You approached him, standing just to the side of him.

“Any time there is the slightest inkling slipping from you that you might like me, you run off,” you state, heart racing at the admitted implication that you likely felt the same way.

He swallowed, speaking quietly, “I do like you. You are… a fantastic friend to me.”

You could have screamed. You were certain you’d at least implode.

“You know what I mean, and I’m not talking about friendship.”

“I am.”

“You are so stubborn,” you groan, covering your face with your hands. “I don’t understand. You’ll practically blatantly flirt with me one second and then run off for tea or snacks or some other stupid ass excuse the next second!”

“I’m… I’m not–”

“Not what? Not flirting? Or not running off? Cause we both know if you say either of those, you’re lying.”

“Now is not the time for this.”

You look around the kitchen, scrunching up your face.

“Now isn’t the time? Well, pardon me, but unless Harry’s lurking around with that invisibility cloak, I’m pretty sure we’re in the clear to chat, Lupin.”

“I’m tired.”

“Well, I’m tired too. Mostly of your bullshit, but that’s neither here nor there.”

He cracked the tiniest smile at that, though he tried hiding it. You sighed, trying to be angry. But it was hard when his eyes twinkled like that. Damn it.

“Remus… please. This is ridiculous,” you sigh softly. “And… and if you won’t admit why you’re doing that for real, then I’m just gonna take Sirius’s word for why you are.”

He slowly turned his head, looking suspicious.

“Sirius said something?”

You quirked a brow, knowing that would work. 

“Yep. He said you have a massive, horrible, embarrassing crush on me. So I guess I’ll just have to believe that you’re no better than a schoolboy in that regard and that you’re scared to talk to a girl.”

“That’s childish.”

“I’m still in my early 20’s. I’m allowed.”

He huffed a sigh. “Sirius is an idiot.”

“But you won’t tell me what’s really going on, so I have no choice but to trust him,” you sigh dramatically, crossing your arms. 

He deadpanned, looking at you quite unamused. 

“You’re going to…” he shook his head with a huffed breath. “Fine. I can’t believe you’re using Padfoot against me.”

“He’d be awfully glad I am, I’m sure,” you smirk a little in victory.

“Right,” he scoffed lightly. “I… You just…”

“What?”

“You’re too young.”

“Oh, Merlin’s fucking sake,” you grumble.

“Whoa,” he said quickly, taken aback by your exclamation as if you’d yelled it.

“You’re being serious?”

“I’m being Remus.”

You rolled your eyes again. “Not funny.”

He merely looked at you, clearly not wanting to talk about this. But you were sick of skirting around the issue.

“I’m too young, so you decide to act like a damn primary school boy by avoiding me any time you realize you’re flirting? Yeah, very mature.”

“Don’t be ridiculous–”

“Me!?”

“Yes, you!” 

You scoff, taking a step closer. “Of the two of us, it seems you’re the one with an immaturity problem, Lupin.”

“You just got your first big-girl job and flat this year . I’m too old for you, and to suggest otherwise is… it’s pure delusion.”

“So now I’m delusional?”

He scoffed. “I didn’t say that.”

“You may as well have!”

“You are insufferable sometimes,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.

“And you’re a coward.”

He looked deeply offended by that, standing up straight as he took a step nearer.

“How am I a coward?”

“Just admit you like me!”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because I–” he floundered for an answer.

“You do, and you know it!” You shook your head incredulously, taking another step until you were most definitely in his personal space. “We spent most of our free time together, or together with Sirius. I can see the way you look at me. I know… I know you feel something for me that isn’t just friendship.”

“Well, it’s not like anything could come of it,” he retorted, almost in an angry voice, but with an expression that reeked of desperation.

You were breathing heavily, angry at him and yourself and… and unable to stop yourself from noticing how close you were. You couldn’t help but to notice his eyes glancing quickly at your lips like he couldn’t stop himself. You noticed his own lips, slightly parted as he sucked in a small breath. You noticed how he smelled… like pine and his books and tea and some little smattering of cologne or body wash. You noticed, upon looking up into his eyes again, that he was looking at you the same way.

The pull was magnetic. Like a slippery slope that you couldn’t stop yourself from sliding down. You couldn’t tell who leaned in first, only that you both did. There was no denying it was a mutual effort. All you could tell was that your heart practically lept from your body as the whistle of the tea kettle went off and both of you jumped back as if you’d been caught doing something scandalous. 

He scrambled to turn off the burner, standing at the stove with his chest heaving as he dropped his head into his hand. You stared at him, completely dumbfounded. You could swear you almost tasted him without your lips ever having actually touched.

“Remus,” you uttered softly, though it felt more like you were begging.

“You like earl grey,” he stated, moving to pour the tea in the two cups at the side of the stove. “I don’t know why I asked earlier if you liked it. I know you do.”

You merely watched as he busied himself, making each cup the way you both liked it. He took both to the living room, and you followed behind like a lost puppy. He sat down, setting your mugs on the two coasters he hadn’t moved in months. You sat in your spot on his couch, and he sat in his. Neither of you touched your tea yet, knowing it was still too hot. He handed you the book you’d been reading the last time you had come for a visit.

“I put a bookmark in where you were last time,” he muttered quietly, still somehow not shying away from scooting the slightest bit closer as he did every time.

You felt like you were in a daze, staring down at the book. You couldn’t comprehend all that had just happened, and here he was… in his routine.

“Page 94,” he said nonchalantly.

You looked at him as he leaned his head back, closing his eyes. 

“Remus.”

“Our tea is too hot. You always read while it cools.”

You were silent for a few seconds before nodding, “Yes.”

“I like to listen to you read, and you always do,” he stated again, keeping his eyes shut. “Our tea is too hot.”

“But…”

“Please.”

You swallowed, then nodded again. “Okay.”

Another month passed by since the incident in Remus’s kitchen. Realistically, your benchmark for time passing should have been based on that being the day you finished the potion. But somehow, not kissing Remus in the kitchen took up much more of your mental space than a life-changing potion.

It was embarrassing.

You and Nemora had since done several trials on the potion, eventually naming it after the herb itself: Arcitasanen. 

It had incredible trial runs, and was quickly introduced to magical hospitals throughout Europe, with the ingredients being vetted to be used in other countries as well. You were living your dream, being able to create things that would save people. Working a job you adored. Having time to be with your friends and family. 

But all you could think about was that stupid non-kiss.

You sprawled out on your couch as Sirius excitedly set up a muggle turn-table in your apartment.

“This is going to be incredible. You’ll love it,” he said, plugging in everything. “Our dear old Mooney introduced this to me ages ago, back when we were in school. These speakers will get you into some trouble with your neighbors if you’re not careful.”

“Mm,” you nodded, staring at the ceiling.

You heard silence for a moment, then another. That was concerning. You turned your head, jumping out of your skin when you saw Sirius had come only a few feet away from you, staring at you.

“Merlin’s beard, Pads! You trying to kill me?”

“My sunshine girl hasn’t been very sunny lately.”

You huffed a sigh.

“Is this about Mooney again? He ignoring you?”

“No.”

“No, it’s not about Moons, or no, he’s not ignoring you?”

“He’s not ignoring me.”

“But it is about him, then?”

“Godric, you’re like a teenage girl!” You sat upright on the couch. “Why does everything have to be about Remus?”

“Because it always is with you since you two first saw each other again at the Weasley’s. Every time you’re mopey, it's about Mooney. Every time he’s mopey, it’s about you.”

“Sod off, Siri.”

“I’m right,” he scrunched his nose.

“Doesn’t mean I want to hear it.”

He rolled his eyes, sitting next to you on the couch for a moment.

“This about the kitchen incident?”

You scoff, looking at him wide-eyed. “You know about that?”

“Know about what?” he asked with a cheeky smirk.

You stared at him for a second, realizing that it meant Remus must be thinking about it too. Now that you didn’t mind all that much.

“Remus told you about that?”

“He might have mentioned it.”

“What did he say?” you asked, turning on the couch to face him.

“Now who’s being a teenage girl?”

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes. “Tell me.”

“Says you almost kissed after trying to get him to admit he liked you.”

“Did he… say anything about that?”

“About if he likes you?”

“More like why he’s pretending he doesn’t.”

He chuckled. “The age thing?”

“Yeah.”

“Told him it’s a bullshit excuse.”

You sighed. “And what did he say to that?”

“What do you think?”

You groaned. “He’s so difficult.”

“Tell me about it,” Sirius chuckled. “He’ll come around.”

“You sure about that? I practically told him I liked him and he… Well, clearly it didn’t go anywhere.”

“Maybe because you don’t like him,” he said, giving you a knowing look.

“What? Of course I do. Geez, I finally admit to you that I do and now you’re saying I don't.”

Sirius let out a dramatic breath. “No.”

“What the hell do you mean, no?”

“You loooove him,” he sang out, tossing an arm around your shoulders.

“Shut up, Sirius,” you whined. 

“Why? I’m right.”

“ Anyways ,” you said, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Why?”

“I think Dumpling misses having a big house to run around in. He keeps yelling at me,” you said, looking up at your cat as he perched on his tower in the window.

“The beast screams?”

“Stop calling him the beast.”

“He is one.”

“So are you,” you retorted.

He grumbled to himself. “Fine. You can bring him over.”

“You love him and you know it.”

“No I don’t,” he argued. “I just… he likes to keep me warm when I’m napping.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “If you ever want to babysit, feel free.”

“Maybe I will.”

Your relaxing day was soon interrupted, however, as a frantic knock was heard at your door. You looked confused, but stood nonetheless to get the door. You looked out the peephole, seeing Kingsley and Tonks on the other side. You pulled open the door.

“Hey, you two–”

“Is Sirius here?” Kingsley asked.

You nodded, looking over your shoulder as Sirius came over.

“Bloody cat. Every time we talk about him, I get called to go fight somewhere,” he smirked, kissing your cheek as he left with the other two, not another word to be said between them for him to know what was needed of him.

You watched as they apparated out of your apartment building. You went to Dumpling, grabbing him off his tower.

“Looks like you get to hang out at Uncle Siri’s a day early, baby boy.”

You sat, rather impatiently, at Grimmauld place while the Order members were gone. You usually didn’t have to do much in the way of healing after they went places, but you would hate to be needed and not be there if necessary. So, there you sat in front of the fireplace, Dumpling curled up next to you, purring like crazy.

“I get my own place for the two of us, and here you are preferring someone else’s house. Ungrateful,” you mutter to the cat, shaking your head softly as you pet him.

It was only a few minutes later when there was a noise at the front door, several members of the Order stumbling through. You shot up. This didn’t sound good.

“What’s the damage?” you asked, looking first at George as he leaned on Fred.

“I’ll be fine. Lupin’s the worst for wear,” George said.

“Everyone else is pretty minor stuff,” Fred supplied.

“Lupin?” you asked dumbly, feeling like a deer in the headlights.

You looked around as people filed in, clearly not having had a great time with whatever battle they were enthralled in. Finally you saw Remus stumbling in, hanging off of Sirius and Tonks, a red stain coming through his shirt.

“Shit,” you said, looking about the room frantically for a spot to put him.

“Love, go pull the blankets off of my bed. We’ll bring him upstairs for you to work your magic,” Sirius instructed.

You nodded quickly, your benchmark for the severity of the situation being emphasized by Sirius’s grave expression. You ran upstairs, pulling the blankets off of Sirius’s bed and dropping them on the ground. Sirius, Tonks, and Arthur Weasley brought Remus in, laying him on the bed. You immediately went to work, practically ripping off his shirt, and the undershirt he wore, wincing when you saw the wound on his stomach.

“What happened?” you asked Sirius as Tonks and Arthur shuffled back downstairs to help anyone else who needed it.

“I don’t know. Malfoy sent some horrific spell at him, and it tore right through him.”

You swallowed, nodding quickly as you wiped clean the blood around the wound. Remus groaned, clearly too out of it to even know what was really happening. Though, he seemed to gain lucidity fairly quickly as you uncorked the arcitasanen and poured a generous amount into the wound.

The thing about the nearly-painless property of the arcitasanen was that it was only painless for flesh wounds. This was a much deeper wound, evidently. 

He groaned loudly, trying to sit up out of shock.

“No, no, no,” you said, guiding him back onto the mattress. “Sirius, we’ll need a fresh shirt for him when I’m done here.”

Sirius nodded, immediately moving to his closet to get a fresh t-shirt. You poured more of the potion into the wound, healing up the rest of it as poor Remus winced and groaned again.

“I know… I know, I’m sorry. Almost done.”

“Okay,” he breathed out.

You saturated a cloth in the solution, dabbing around the wound to get the rest of the smaller cuts healed. You finally let out a breath you’d been holding in when you saw that all seemed well again. 

“Does anywhere else hurt?” you asked Remus.

“No,” he shook his head, breathing heavily. “No, that was the bad one.”

“Okay,” you breathed out, though you jumped when you heard some kind of crash downstairs. You turned, looking at Sirius. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius sighed. “Is everything okay here?”

“Yeah, I’ve got him,” you nodded, accepting the t-shirt from Sirius as he rushed downstairs to see what was going on. You turned back to Remus. “Uh… I’m… I’ll get you cleaned up and then you can put this on.”

You set the shirt down on the bed, then stood. You went to the nearest bathroom, dampening a washcloth in warm water. You went back to the room, and sat on the edge of the bed with the washcloth in hand. You wiped down his stomach, trying to ignore the way he moved under your hand every time you touched him.

“Okay,” you nodded, looking away so he could put the shirt on.

You heard some shuffling, a long sigh coming out of his mouth.

“Alright.”

“Are you okay?”

“As okay as I can be,” he chuckled softly. “Thank goodness you were here.”

“You did say you liked me taking care of you,” you replied softly with a small laugh.

“I suppose I brought it on myself, didn’t I?”

“You must have.”

He was silent for a moment. “I’m really glad you stopped coming on these missions. I don’t know what I would have done if it was you…”

“But it wasn’t. No sense worrying.”

“Right,” he nodded. “Right.”

“Now come here,” you tilted his face towards you, dabbing the potion onto a clean cotton cloth. You used it to heal the cut on his face. “There. All better.”

He smiled a tiny bit, looking over your face like he wanted to remember it. 

“Thank you,” he said, just above a whisper. “You’re a lifesaver, you know?”

“I’d hardly call it saving your life.”

“I would. If it were anyone else, I could have bled out,” he said, only half joking. “That potion of yours is keeping me from going to the hospital. Dittany could have only done so much.”

You stayed quiet, dropping your hand slightly, but not before he caught your wrist. He pulled the cloth from your hand, setting it on the bedside table as his lips brushed your knuckles gently.

“Thank you,” he said again, making eye contact so intense you swear he was reading your mind.

You merely nodded, this feeling eerily similar to when you were in the kitchen, nearly kissing. You just prayed there was no interruption this time.

His hand slid up your wrist, rubbing the inside of your palm with his thumb before he guided your hand to touch his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but this time you were determined not to waste time. You leaned in, simply touching his lips with your own to test the waters. He let out the sweetest, almost inaudible whimper before he pressed his lips hard against yours.

Your free hand went into his hair as he kissed you, a shuddering breath coming from you as the reality of the situation hit you hard. It was all desperation between the two of you as you poured everything you felt for one another into that kiss. You almost wanted to cry as you broke apart, desiring him on a level that felt chemical. 

You breathed each other in for a minute, simply holding one another. But then he had to speak and ruin everything. 

“We shouldn’t have done that,” he whispered against your lips. He chuckled ruefully, pulling away a little. “That—That was a mistake.”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat that threatened to choke you out. You took in a breath, still looking in his eyes. 

“I—I don’t think it’s a mistake,” you said breathlessly. “And I don’t think you really think that either. I mean, come on. You can’t seriously tell me you don’t feel… Whatever this is between us.”

“I do, I just—”

“Then what’s the problem?” you asked, feeling exasperated. “Remus, I…”

“Don’t say something you can’t take back,” he said quickly, cutting you off. “Please. You can’t do that.”

You paused, knowing it was now or never. You smiled a little, though it was a pained one. 

“I love you.”

He swallowed, brows knitting together as he looked away. His hands reached up, running over his face with a hard sigh coming from his lips. 

“Love, you can’t.” 

“But I do,” you said quietly, holding onto his hands. “Please. I do, and I can’t pretend like I don’t anymore. I love you.”

He let out a shaky breath, tears pricking his eyes as he leaned in again. He pressed his lips to yours softly, his hands detaching from yours to gently cradle your face. You melted into it, almost feeling relief before he pulled away. His face told you that relief would be short-lived. 

“You can’t. You can’t love me, you can’t be with me… You can’t keep looking at me like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am not, and never will be, right for you. You deserve to be happy. You’ll never be happy with me.”

“I’m always happy with you.”

“You’ll never be at peace with me,” he clarified. “I can’t give that to you. I can’t give you anything that you deserve.” 

“I don’t want that. I want you, no matter what that brings with it. I don’t care, Remus.”

“You should care. You have a life ahead of you.”

“So do you,” you argued, shaking your head in disbelief. “You act like you’re the only one who could die at any moment. We’re all in danger right now, but if we survive it, you still have a life ahead of you, too.”

“I’m not good enough for you.”

“Stop saying that,” you yelled suddenly, standing from the bed and taking a step back. “God, you have to make everything so difficult. Why don’t you just trust me when I say that you’re what I want? Stop trying to make me feel like I don’t know what I want. It’s mean.”

“I don’t mean to…”

“But you do,” you exclaimed again. “Every time I tell you or show you that I’ll love you no matter what, you try to find a way to push me away. You keep finding new ways to make me feel like I’m stupid and I’m not stupid, Remus. I’m not some naïve little girl who doesn’t know what she wants in life. I do. And if you’d stop being so fucking obsessed with making sure I know you’re broken, you’d let me love you.” 

He fell silent, trying to reach for you after a moment, but you pulled away. 

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” you scoffed to yourself, shaking your head. 

“Please,” Remus said, grabbing your wrist, hanging onto you desperately from his spot on the bed. 

You blinked back tears. “I can’t do this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t convince you to love me. I can’t… I need you to want me. To want this, and clearly you don’t—”

“Of course I want this,” he said, his voice desperate. “I just— Not like this.”

“Oh,” you said, scoffing. “You want to talk about timing, yeah? Act like this is the wrong place or wrong time, as if there is such a thing.”

“You have to know this is a bad time. You have to know that.”

“You think there’s a bad time to try and hold onto some sliver of happiness when either of us could die at any moment?”

“Yes!” He snapped. “I don’t want to admit that I love you, because if you die, I won’t be able to keep going. I’ll be completely useless, and I don’t want to drag you into my mess before that happens.”

“I’m already involved in your ‘mess’, Remus. Don’t pretend like I’m not,” you said severely. “And if I do die, do you really want to let that happen without telling me? Without showing me?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand!”

“I’ve lost too many people,” he said firmly. “The first time this happened, I lost everyone. Some of my best friends died. James and Lily… I thought Peter was dead, come to find out he’s the reason James died. Our best friend,” he said, a few tears falling. “The only other person I had I thought betrayed us all for twelve years. I was on my own for twelve years. Everyone I loved was gone. I can’t do that again. I can’t lose you, and I won’t if I never have you in the first place.” 

“Well, sorry to break it to you, but you already have me. I’m yours,” you said, tears in your eyes now. “If you didn’t want me to love you, we should have never spoken at the Weasley’s that first day I came back. We should have never talked together at Sirius’ place. We should have never spent so much time together at all. Because now, it’s too late. I’ve been yours long before I realized I was in love with you.” 

He stared at you, mouth wide open as he tried to process your words.

“Love…”

You shook your head, wiping tears that fell without your consent. “No.”

He reached out for you once again, but you stepped further back.

“I can’t convince you to love me.”

“I do.”

“Not enough,” you let out a shaky breath, turning on your heel and leaving him.

He sat, shocked and breathless. His eyes fluttered shut, his jaw clenched shut tightly. 

Sirius looked at you with wide eyes as you stormed past him with tears in your eyes as he reached the doorway of his bedroom. He turned his head just in time to see his best mate swiping the lamp off of his bedside table, shattering it against the wall.

“Fuck.”

[ssivinee]

✧The Dancer to the Music✧

BEBE! Kim Taeyoung, aka Tatter x Composer! Producer! F Reader: After not seeing each other for so long, you surprised your best friend at her studio. Work had been rough the past few days so you assumed seeing your friend could fix that, but it was someone else that does.

Word Count: 3.5k

Note: Ahhhhh, my first Tatter fic. Tatter simps rise😌. My other gf needs some love, too. I've done my civil duties and will now go to bed🙃

Character Vision Board

Being a composer in the music scene was always a dream of yours. While growing up, your parents surrounded you with the beauty of instruments and melodies. So it was evident for you to pick up your talents due to your parent's infatuation with music. Yet you never wanted the fame of being a singer, so you stuck to staying behind the scenes, writing music for several artists.

You sat in your cold studio, sipping on the hard hitting energy drink as you stared at the computer screen. Eyes never wavering at the sight of several color-codded melodies. The song felt bare and not up to your standards, causing a groan of frustration to emerge.

I need a break, was all you thought before leaving your room. You walked around the current building you were working at, the famous SM Entertainment. 2 years ago, you were merely a freelance composer, taking any project handed your way.

An SM representative then got ahold of you, saying they've been keeping an eye on you for a while and had a proposition for you. Before you knew it, a week later, you were signing a contract under the entertainment, becoming an in-house composer and producer, even gaining your first big shot project.

Better by BoA.

After the release, more and more tasks were flowing your way, SM making sure you had work to do 24/7. So now you were here, trying to piece together something for NCT's Ten.

As much as you loved your job, you couldn't deny hitting a stump. Truth be told, this happened quite often, but you usually got over it after a day or two. Yet it had been a week, and you had nothing but a simple chord progression and bass that was spaced out.

You make your way over to the hallway full of dance studios, trying to clear your mind, and you think of the perfect people to do so. Entering the room, you hear the soft volume of a song and see some of your favorite friends in the company.

"Oh shoot, nice to see you out of your cave," Jeno jokes at the sight of you after being trapped in the studio for 7 hours straight. "Dude, leave her alone," Bada says, approaching you to encase you in a warm hug.

"Seriously though, you didn't leave that room since you got here this morning," Taeyong points out, voicing his worry for the younger girl.

Ten sighs at you, "I know you're a perfectionist, Y/n, but don't stress too much over my song. Okay?" The Thai member knew how stuck you've been the past week, as he spoke to you almost every day about your progress. "I can't help it, oppa. This is your first release after Paint Me Naked, so it has to be amazing."

Bada rubs your arm in consolidation, "Maybe you need a new change of pace for now? How about the lyrics for the song? Got anything?"

You keep your head down, silence answering Bada's questions, and she sighs. "It's probably an inspiration issue," Jeno says, and your head whips up quickly. "That might actually be the problem."

"You need a change of scenery for sure. Been staring at your computer screen for almost a month straight," Taeyong says with some pats on your back. Your eyes finally had a glimmer of hope after the past weeks, with the long days tiring you out.

A light bulb then flickers in your head, "Unnie, do you have a class coming soon?" You ask the tall woman, who answers perplexed, "Uh, yeah. Tomorrow, I'm at JustJerk. Why?"

"Never mind that. What time?" Your voice evidently becomes eager.

"At 5 p.m.?"

"I'll see you then."

You took an off day, resting your mental for the day, and it was currently 4:30 p.m. as you got ready to head out for the day.

In the JustJerk studio, Bada, Lusher, and Tatter marked their dance as they waited for time. They took a water break as people were making their way into the studio.

"By the way, you have a surprise later," Bada nudges the brunette, who looks at her with a questionable gaze. "What is it?" She simply asks, but Tatter cuts her off, "That defeats the purpose of the surprise dummy."

"Do you know what it is?" Lusher asks, but the blonde shrugs at her. "Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you," she says, teasing the older. "Oh, come on, you two were about to get started." Bada breaks them up as the class begins.

You walked into the building about 20 minutes into the class and asked the receptionist for a visitor's pass that you hung around your neck. Peeking your head in, you see Bada teaching steps already, and the two of you make eye contact. She gives a small wave, and you reciprocate with a smile hiding behind your mask.

You made your way over to the side of the room, sitting on the bench where you put your tote bag beside you. Your eyes scan the room, falling onto your best friend, Lusher. That's what everyone calls her nowadays, but you only called her by her real name.

Then you see the woman next to her, and you pause.

Your eyes widen at the blonde beauty who stood beside your childhood friend, taking in her existence. She wore a simple crop top, black baggy sweets, and a denim jacket. You basically had found an angel whose body flowed fluidly at every step demonstrated to her. Her aura brightened the room's atmosphere whenever she smiled at Bada's antics. She played around with your best friend often, and you saw the two' precious bond.

Well, Jeno was definitely right about finding some inspiration.

Thoughts overflow your brain, and you take the notepad from your bag, writing down everything you can.

Baby, dance, dance, dance Wrap me up with your devotion It's a bad romance Got my body rockin' in slow motion But I can't cope walkin' on a tightrope Hangin' on the tension Let me down, down, down with you Let me give you my attention

After an hour, the class takes a break, and you shy your way behind Lusher. Your hands covered her eyes, and she flinched at the touch, "Who the hell?"

"Did you miss me, Seoyoung-ah?" You ask, and the girl instantly recognizes who it is. You were the only person who called her by her real name and had a husky, rough voice. She almost rips your hands off, wrapping her arms tighter around your neck. "Y/n? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I needed to get away from work," You mumble into her shoulder and slip the mask under your chin, revealing your face. Bada smiles at the two while Tatter wonders who you are. She was marveled by your slender eyes and relationship with the brunette. "Is this my surprise, unnie?" Lusher asks the tall dancer. She nods, proud of herself for keeping your arrival secret.

"The girl has been struggling the last few days and figured you could brighten her mood."

"Is that right?" Your best friend questions you, and you only show a bright smile.

Tatter's heart fastens at the sight of your grin. She didn't even know who you were, yet she couldn't help the feeling creeping up on her. "Ah, Y/n, let me introduce you. Tatter, this is my best friend Y/n, and Y/n, this is Tatter." Your eyes meet the blonde dancer, and she gives you a friendly smile.

"It's nice to meet you, Tatter."

"Likewise. Glad to meet one of Lusher unnie's long-time friends." Your face shows a look of shock. "Unnie?"

You thought she was at least the same age as you and Lusher, but you learn she was born in 2001. "I hope I haven't been replaced as your best friend," you joke, and Lusher punches your arm lightly. "Tatter is my dance duo. You and I will always be forever," she tells you as your arm wraps around her shoulder, you leaning your head on hers.

"Let's wrap up this class soon so we can all hang out?" Bada suggests, and Lusher nods excitingly, leaving your side. You and Tatter giggle at the girl as she tries to dance quickly. "You two must be close if she's acting like this," Tatter spoke calmly. "Well, she's always like that with me. This isn't anything out of the ordinary."

"True," she says, and you laugh at her bluntness. You went back to your seat as you appreciated the view of all the dancers and even watched the filming process. When the class finally ended, and all the students were out the door, you were left with the three dancers who sat on the floor, a bit tired from the dancing.

"So how do you know Bada-unnie?" The blonde asks you out of nowhere. "Uh, I'm a producer and composer at SM, so I see her at the building almost daily."

Tatter becomes fascinated at the thought of your profession, not knowing anyone in that field of work. "You make music?"

"Yeah. It's something I always loved doing since I was a kid."

"So that means you play instruments?" She looks at you, super interested, and you can't help but grow flustered with her eyes on you. It felt intense, and you weren't used to feeling this intimidation. "Um, of course. I started playing multiple instruments at the age of 11."

Her face goes into amazement at your words. "11? That's amazing. You must be really good then."

"I'd say I'm decent," you say teasingly. "She's more than decent. She created the melody Better by BoA," Lusher points out, and Bada nods in agreement. "Better? By BoA? That's one of my favorite songs."

You look at the blonde happily, "I also part-took in writing some of the lyrics."

Tatter gets up and begins bowing at you, causing you to frantically wave your arms at her gesture. "Please get up and never do that ever again." You chuckle as she gets up.

"Her unreleased stuff is fire, though," Bada says, exposing you, and your eyes widen. "Unnie~" You whined at the older woman, who chuckled, "What, it's true. The stuff you don't release are some of your best works."

"She's not wrong," your best friend added.

"Would you mind showing me some?" Tatter asks innocently, and you nod, looking away. Every time you made proper eye contact, your hands got clammy, and breathing felt ten times harder. What in the world was happening to you.

You then pull out your work phone, where you keep all your projects and private songs. Your hands lend her the wired headphones you used only specifically for this, and you connect it to the phone.

"What vibe are you looking for right now, Tatter-nim?" You joke with the question, and she responds, "Hmmm, some RnB would be nice right now." You then scroll and click the song called "Clueless Mystery."

As Tatter listened, everyone watched her eyes go soft at the sound of your voice. "Holy shit, you sound beautiful." Your ears go red at the compliment, and give her a slight bow as she keeps listening. Her upper body begins to sway at the beat, and your focus on her becomes sincere. She looked like she genuinely enjoyed the song's melody, almost freestyling as she stayed seated. You smile at her movements, and Lusher can only watch you two curiously.

That look you gave the blonde was something Lusher knew all too well... you were falling for her and falling quick.

When the song ends, Tatter can't help but applaud your work, and you bow jokingly, "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night, folks."

“Would you mind sending me those songs?" She asks you seriously, and you nod, happily switching numbers so you can send her some tracks when you get home. "You sure you gonna listen to them?"

"Of course. That one also seemed nice to dance to, so I might make some choreography."

That was unexpected. You nod slowly, realizing her words, "Sure, I'll pick some of my best work out."

Your visits at the JustJerk Academy became frequent as you got excited to see the blonde. The past few weeks, you had slowly but surely finished Ten's solo song, the NCT member, deciding to call the sensual song "Birthday." A piece usually took less time to make, but if you made it, you made sure to take your time, ensuring you put every single thought, sweat, and tear into it. Now, you were only missing a few lyrics and decided to keep seeing your newfound friend as she secretly became your muse for this piece.

The two agreed to meet at YGX today as Tatter was working on some new choreography for the studio. When you go to the dance studio, you see the blonde dancing through the window. This time, she wore black leggings, plain Converse, and a sheer white long-sleeve. You were fucked. Tatter looked immaculate in her simplistic outfit, the white top emphasizing her heavenly beauty.

Your brain goes crazy at the sight before you, and your breath becomes terribly shaky. Your hands move on their own, opening the door ever so slightly, and you hear one of your slow songs. You bow, coming in, letting her do her own thing until the song ends.

You watch as her body moves elegantly to the song, the jazz training being prominent in her dancing. Moving fluidly, as usual, you were in a trance, not even realizing your track had ended and she was approaching you. "Was it good?" She asks you breathlessly.

"Of course it was. What else could I expect from you?"

She smiles, taking a seat beside you. "So, you have a new song for me?"

"Wanna find out?" She nods, and you give her the phone. This time, she unlocks the phone with ease and connects the phone to the speaker. After hanging around the dancers for a while, you and Tatter became close to the point where her face could unlock the phone, and she knew her way well around the phone. You even called her by her real name.

You trusted her with it as she hasn't given you a reason not to. She clicks the unfamiliar name "Drowned Happiness." A slow-paced pop-synth beat could be heard, and Tatter's body automatically grooves away. She does a rope-pulling movement in your direction, and you roll your eyes. She was well aware you didn't dance, but here she was trying to entice you.

"Taeyoung-ah, you know damn well I have two left feet," She doesn't respond to you, just grabbing your arm and pulling you to the center of the room. She circles your body as she dances, and you can only watch her in astonishment. The distance between you is minuscule, and you stand there, frozen. "Are you scared of me, Kang Y/n?" She asks in a whisper, the smaller girl making sure you kept your eyes on her the entire time. "You know I don't bite."

Your breath hitches at her words.

She takes your arms and wraps them around her own waist, and you try swaying your body to follow her movement. Finding the right pace, you two go in sync, and Tatter smiles at your awkward figure, finding you adorable. Your hands fondle with her hips as she leans your body closer to you.

"You know, no one has ever had this effect on me." You just listened to her, still sticking to the momentum the two of you had. "The first time I saw you in the studio, god. You did something to me. The stupid smile you have, the little head bobs you did while listening to music, your deep voice, everything about you was captivating."

That stupid smile she calls out takes shape on your face. "You're so beautiful, angel," was all you could say, giving her a new nickname. You couldn't even find the right words, making you nervous. It was literally part of your job, but Tatter made it overly difficult for you. The song ends, and you pull away quickly, feeling your face heat up at the exchange.

You cough before trying to redeem yourself, "Wanna head out for lunch?"

"Sure. What do you have in mind?" She asked, picking up her bag and phone. "There's a small Italian place near by if you want." She nods, and you drive to the restaurant. While driving, you felt Tatter's eyes on you occasionally, and you tried to shake away the anxiousness you felt bubbling inside you.

You guys make it and open the cae door for the girl. Entering the establishment, you were met with the smell of pasta and baked goods.

The two of you ate pasta as you chatted away, "I'm telling you, Seoyoung would get her hands stuck in her hoodie." You told her stories about you and Lusher's childhood, and Tatter always laughed. "How does that even happen?"

You shrug, "I don't know. All I know is she always cried about it, and I'd have to help her out every single time."

The two of you were about to continue but noticed the heavy rain outside. "Shit," Tatter said softly, looking out the window. "I'll drop you home. It's no big deal."

When finishing up, you two argued over paying the bill. "Let me, I've literally been using your music for my own fun."

"Taeyoung, that has nothing to do with paying the bill, like, at all."

"I wanna pay, please~" She pleaded, but you shook your head, handing your card to the water, "No, and that's final." Tatter quiets down at your stern voice, never hearing it before. You sounded so sexy, making her feel vulnerable in front of you.

When existing, you guys stood under the store's overhead, and you began taking off your letterman jacket. Placing it over the blonde's head, she mopes. "You're gonna get sick, unnie," she tried taking it off, but you stopped her, just pulling her waist close as you run to your car, ensuring she didn't slip. You open the passenger door and let her enter before running to the driver's side.

Safe to say, as soon as you sat in the car, you sighed at yourself. You were literally soaking wet. Tatter looks at you in silence, taking in your appearance. Your usual straight long black hair turned a little wavy, and your plain white shirt was now see-through, enabling her to see the black sports bra you wore underneath. When you look at her in a fit of laughter, she looks away, trying to hide the shades of pink on her face.

You drove her home, and as you sat in the front of her apartment, she sighed, "Can I at least give you some clothes? Before you get sick?" You just nod, saying, "Sure, this shirt isn't feeling too comfortable right now anyways." Not wanting to argue with her. She wasn't wrong, as you felt the heavy weight of your shirt tiring your body.

She lets you in, and your nose is filled with the scent of Vanilla. Of course, her house would smell like this. The girl herself smelled sweet all the time.

"Let me get you a towel with some clothes so you can shower."

She marches off somewhere with a mission in mind, and you wait at the entrance, not wanting to wet her place too much. Tatter comes back, handing you a soft sage green towel. "The bathroom is in the hallway, the door to the left, and I have some clothes in there for you."

You nod and take a quick hot shower, and as Tatter waits for you, she changes into a silk pink pajama set, getting comfortable in her humble abode. She sat in her living room, watching TV, and you came out in grey sweatpants and a baggy light blue shirt. Your hair was now in a ponytail, and Tatter couldn't help but stare at you lovingly. You looked adorable and comfy in her clothes.

Making your way over to her, you sat on her couch, making yourself feel at home as you were tired. "You good?" She asks you softly. "Yeah, just a bit tired from all the food we ate."

"Stay for a while. Let the rain die down, and we can watch a movie."

"Let's do it then," You put one of her throw pillows in your lap, and she smiles fondly at you. The two of you agreed to watch Mamma Mia. As the movie goes on, the two of you move closer to each other as you play around every now and then. Tatter then rests her head in the crook of your neck, and you smile at this. Finding some courage as you two watched the movie, you asked her in a gentle voice, "Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna go on a date tomorrow?"

She peeks at you, leaning her head up, "Is this not a little date right now?" You grin, feeling your heart swell up at the view of her beautiful face. "A proper date, angel."

With her new name rolling off your tongue, she gives you a quick peck on the cheek, "I'd love to go on a proper date with you, unnie."

A/n: This took so long to write, but it was defo worth it!

-sivine

[obsessedelusional]

asleep in bella’s arms

paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x Reader

summary ✦ Bella is finally coming home to your shared apartment. The recent success of TLOU has kept them away from you. They’re so tired when they get back, you two have a chill night in.

word count ✦ 1,000ish

authors note ✦ THIS WAS A REQUEST OMG thank you I’ll link the request - here

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

After years of dating, you and Bella had officially moved in together. It would of happened sooner but when Bella landed her role as Ellie in TLOU, that skyrocketed her career. Constantly flying back to America to film, sometimes when you could ask for time off you’d tag along. The two of you were extremely private about your relationship. Mostly because of your own anxieties.

Today was an extra long day at work. It would all be worth it when you get to go home to your partner. They were finally getting that well deserved break the so desperately needed. They should be there at home waiting for you when you got off. When the clock reads 5:00 you wasted absolutely no time, rushing to clock out. Making the rather short drive home felt much longer than normal.

Arriving at your apartment, you jump out you car so fast. Locking it behind you before you enter the front entrance. You debate wether or not you should take the elevator, usually it was much longer especially if someone else was trying to use it too. You end up make the trek up the four floors, a slight jog. You were so eager to get home, feel the sweet embrace of Bella. It had been nearly a month since you last got to see them.

You fumble with your keys, taking longer than it should to unlock the door. You outwardly groan before breathing for a brief moment so you can unlock the door. Expecting to see your handsome partner but instead your greeted by darkness and silence. A sudden sadness falls over you that’s until you notice their belongs thrown on the kitchen counter. They made it home.

You put you belongings up and make the short walk to the bedroom. Slowly creek the door open, it’s just as dark. The soft sound of Bella’s snores is all you can hear. It brings a smile to your face to hear that familiar noise. They must be so exhausted so you shut the door and head back into the kitchen. Turning on a few lights so you can start making dinner. They’re probably gonna be starving when they wake up.

—

You’re nearly done with dinner. The sauce and meat, nearly done. Your in the process of stirring the noodles when you feel the warm embrace of Bella’s arms wrapping around your waist, slighting lifting your the bottom of your shirt in the process. You had changed into a extra large t-shirt and a pair of underwear, your favorite pajama combo.

“What time is it?” They ask in they’re sleepy voice, still half asleep.

“Almost seven.” You explain before turning around to face your partner, their arms never leaving your waist.

“I’m sorry babe. I missed you coming home.” They pout, bringing a smile to your face. Their hands hungrily explore your skin, not so much in a sexual way. More in I missed your soft skin kind of way.

“It’s okay, you must be exhausted so I let you rest.” You say before Bella places a sweet short kiss on your lips.

“You hungry? Dinners almost done.”

“Yes please, smells delicious.” Bella smiles before letting go of you to lay on the couch. Turing on some television show the two of you enjoyed watching together. Once dinner is done, you put two bowls together of the pasta you made. Handing one to Bella as you sit next to them on the couch.

“We can eat at the table. I know how much you prefer it.” Bella goes to stand up.

“Don’t worry about, it’s a dinner on the couch kinda night.” Bella’s tired eyes smile at you before sitting back down, only closer this time. It doesn’t take long before you both finish your servings. You take the empty bowls and set them in the sink, you’d worry about that later.

“How’d I get so lucky?” Bella asks, reaching for you from the couch. They pull you down so you’re on top, you plant small kisses all over their face, causing them to let out a tired laugh. You missed their face so much.

“I dunno,” You tease before laying down on Bella’s chest. Taking this moment to breath in their smell, you missed the way they smelled. It was your favorite smell, nothing compared.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Bella asks, you nod yes head still resting on their chest. They plant a small kiss on your head before reaching for the remote. You let Bella pick out the movie, their presence more than enough for you right now. Bella’s hands rest under your shirt, feeling your soft skin.

Also well aware of the fact that you’re not gonna last all that much longer. You felt the most comfortable with them around, the safest. You were already exhausted so the combo meant you were falling asleep shortly. You try your best to keep you eyes open but when Bella starts lightly playing with you hair that what does it. You knock out laying on Bella, your legs intertwined.

Bella only notices because of the quiet snores that leave you. Something you would deny to this day that you do, the memory of her accusing you of snoring the first time met with nothing but denial caused Bella to laugh. Stopping only when you move in your sleep, grabbing onto them tighter. Bella looks down at you for a few moments, sleepy grin plastered on their face. Deciding in that moment to give up on the movie, shutting it off to join you in sleeping.

“Love you,” Bella whispers in a attempt to not wake you. Only you were awake so you whisper it back, Bella squeezes you tighter. The two of you sleep on that couch almost all night. Only for you to wake up around two, the feeling of you getting up wakes Bella too. They tiredly walk in to the bedroom, you follow closely behind. Only to assume the position you two shared on the couch but now in the bed.