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makeste · 3 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left

Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!

Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.

so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi

oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan

“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor

oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point

hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus

and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead

“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true

and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else

holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill

these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door

OH SHIT LMAO

DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT

(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)

anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame

lmaoooooooooooo

“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”

see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT

“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here

see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law

“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words

lol of course

well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol

dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions

oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol

(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)

look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT

“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”

I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits

lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl

he seems genuinely confused lol

Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart

lol they just took his word for it?

so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao

“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude

NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN

I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES

“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good

-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT

really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh

AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)

the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(

oi who the fuck is this clown

is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist

easy there Sasori

well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so

“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh

now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees

so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)

NO NOT MORE SAD EYES

“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO

fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out

this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen

OMGFGGG

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)

THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP

HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS

IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???

LIGHTS!!!!

INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.

and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.

this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.

but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.

and you know, it almost reminds me of...

just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)

“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME

#bnha 318 #midoriya izuku #BAKUGOU KATSUKI #!!!!#twowy mctwoface #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bakudeku #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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oreomonsterhunter · 4 years ago

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Life Sucks

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Word Count: 10K (I know.....this was a surprise for me, too)

Genre: fluff, romantic comedy

Warnings: language (our characters have a tendency to curse, apparently)

Summary: Sunshine reader is in love with love, but hasn’t had much luck with it herself. When she meets Minho, a self-proclaimed cynic and disbeliever of “true love”, she’s determined to change his life. If she can’t find the love of her life, she’s going to try to find his.

This fic was inspired by a tag game once upon a time. It was supposed to be a short drabble, but apparently I can’t hold back with Minho. Tag game featured this specific Lee Know and just kinda spiraled from there lol

Nearing the end of January, winter sometimes seemed endless. Yet when you stepped out into the morning chill, you were pleasantly surprised to find the snow banks melting a bit. Your boots splashed through small puddles as you strode down the street, and you smiled softly at the lavender sky. It was still early enough—for a Saturday—that the sidewalks weren’t too packed yet, so you indulged in a more leisurely walk than usual, dancing along to the music from your headphones. You caught a few odd looks, but you simply smiled and waved at everyone you passed. They could judge your happiness all they wanted, nothing could possibly spoil your day when it was off to such a good start—

“Shit,” you gasped, jumping back onto the curb as a car barrelled through a red light. Had you been a second slower, you would’ve been a vehicular manslaughter case. “Asshole,” you hollered after them, flipping two middle fingers in the air.

You exhaled a sharp breath through your nose, attempting to banish the exasperation and get back into your music again. More careful this time, you double checked both ways down the street before entering the crosswalk.

Unfortunately, your streak of bad luck continued. Just as you hopped off the street, a truck passed by behind you, tires bumping through a pothole. And with the recent snowmelt, this resulted in a spray of cold water hitting the backs of your legs.

You froze, mind stuttering as you tried to comprehend how the morning had taken such a turn, all within your first five minutes outside. Pursing your lips, you twisted around to inspect the damage. The dirty water might stain your jeans, but the most pressing matter was the cold and wet denim now plastered to your legs from your calves to the backs of your knees. You bit your lip, contemplating just turning back and spending the whole day in your apartment. Pajamas, a blanket, hot coffee and tea readily available. Maybe a movie, just because you could.

Then you shook your head, determined to make the best of the day. You wanted a cappuccino, dammit. And chocolate babka from the cafe. No homicidal drivers or puddles could stop you. It was a Saturday, just past sunrise, and you had a whole day ahead of you. No need to wallow a few minutes in. And besides, who knew what would happen.

You set off for the cafe, determination heavy in each step. You forced a smile back onto your lips, though it was thinner than before. You switched to a different playlist so that your boots could thump the concrete in time. And you breathed, spooling calmness back into yourself.

It was a Saturday. You might meet the love of your life today. And nothing could stop you from finding out.

The bell over the front door jingled merrily, and you softened a little further, relaxing into the familiar surroundings. You hardly even noticed the damp denim chafing your legs as you skipped up to the counter.

Ruth, currently manning the register, chuckled as she rang up another customer. “Well would you look at that, the sun came shining right in our front door,” she said.

“Good morning,” you giggled. You waved to Jonathan, Ruth’s husband, in the back. The couple had been running the little cafe and bakery for years, and you were a faithful customer, coming by at least once a week since you first moved to the neighborhood.

“Morning, Sunshine,” he called, hands busy kneading dough for what would doubtless become something delicious. You hummed thoughtfully, considering the baked goods in the glass case before you.

“Your usual?”

You tapped a finger on your chin, “You know, the poppy seed muffins look awfully tempting. I might just have to switch it up today.”

Ruth nodded, tapping on the register. You handed over the requisite bills and she shooed you off, sliding the muffin over the counter. “Go on now, a table opened up by the window, perfect spot. I’ll bring the coffee in a minute.”

“Thank you,” you said, but Ruth was already fussing over the espresso machine. Shaking your head, you weave through the maze of tables and chairs, dodging patrons on your way to the window seat.

You had your eyes on the prize, and you were only a few feet from the chair when you pulled up short. A stranger, their back to you, plopped down in your chair. You blinked, suddenly and painfully aware of your wet pants, the muffin growing cool in your hand, the fact that you could give up now and walk home but perhaps you’d just get hit by a car and never get a chance to enjoy your breakfast. You sighed deeply, breathing out through your nose as you closed your eyes, seeking inner peace or something.

“Can I help you?”

The voice knocked you out of your momentary meditation, and you looked at the table thief in surprise. He loosened the fluffy scarf around his neck before sliding his arms out of his winter coat. A beret, of all things, tilted dangerously to the side before he adjusted it on his head. He looked like some kind of absent-minded professor, but for the youthful features that peered up at you. A sharp nose, tinted red from the cold, and a soft mouth. Dark and depthless eyes, paired with high cheekbones and a cutting jawline.

You realized you were staring when he waved at you, eyes widened. “Hello?”

“Um, sorry, I just,” you stammered, lost for words.

“Do you want to sit or something?”

You stopped again, mouth dropping open. You checked the time—you had fifteen minutes or so, enough time for another table to open up. “Uh, sure, if that’s ok with you. I was hoping for a table, I’m meeting someone,” you said, beginning to ramble.

“No problem, I don’t need all this space, and I’ll head out soon,” he cut you off, raising one brow at you when you continued to stand there, rooted to the spot.

Ruth’s arrival with your cappuccino was what ultimately forced your hand. You sat down, gratefully accepting the drink, your smile less shaky with a taste of the familiar.

“I didn’t think they did table service,” the stranger mused.

“They don’t, I just know the owners,” you shook your head, cutting yourself off when you saw his disinterest. “Sorry, I should introduce myself,” you switched tacks, giving your name with a bright grin. So what if it was forced?

The stranger looked at you, and his lips twitched in a shadow of a smirk. “Minho,” he responded.

Silence fell, heavy and awkward, and you found yourself leaning forward desperately. “So how’s your day so far?”

Minho snorted, reaching for his own drink—an iced americano, you guessed, despite it being the middle of winter. “Probably better than yours.”

“What?” your brows furrowed in confusion.

He gestured to your legs with one hand. “Unfortunate accident this morning?”

Your lips tightened, holding back a frown, “Puddles, you know.”

Minho sighed, sounding sympathetic now, rather than snarky. “Yeah, life sucks, doesn’t it?” And there was the sarcasm again.

“One or two bad things doesn’t mean life sucks,” you countered, sipping your coffee. “I’m excited about the rest of the day, it’s not even eight in the morning! And it’s the weekend, and it’s sunny and warm, and I have hot coffee and a delicious muffin, and the world is out there and ready to be enjoyed,” you finished, lips curling up as you looked out the window at the sunrise, the horizon flaming golden.

“Sounds like you’ve never had a job,” a harsh voice cut into your admiration. Your smile faltered as you looked back at Minho. You gaped at him, brain processing the way this soft-looking boy sounded like the king of cynics. The last thing you expected from someone wearing a fuzzy beret and looking like a sly teddy bear was this blunt conversation. “No one’s that excited when they have to work fifty plus hour weeks to pay the bills. Trust fund baby?” he inquired, sipping calmly.

Yep, there was no fighting the frown now. “No, and I don’t appreciate the judgement. Why can’t I just be happy?”

Minho smirked, “Never said you can’t. I just wanted to see if you had a personality beyond being Positive Polly.”

Your eyes flamed, but your phone buzzed, distracting you before you could smite the snarky boy. You fumbled at your coat pocket, whipping out the device to check for a new message. You slumped—just a spam email.

“Waiting for something important?” Minho asked, tilting his head.

You huffed, shoving the device back in your pocket. “As a matter of fact, yes,” you sassed, tossing your hair over one shoulder. “I’m waiting for a date.”

He hummed at you, expression unreadable. “You’re too excited.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, eyeing the clock on the far wall of the cafe.

“You’re significantly early, watching the clock like a hawk, and they haven’t even texted you an update.” He took a long sip. “What time is your date anyway? Eight in the morning? They’re not coming.”

Your smile faltered again. Damn him, why was a total stranger dimming your joy? You shoved your chair back, even though no tables had opened up yet. You’d wait by the counter and chat with Ruth. Anything was better than this asshole.

Minho glanced over his shoulder, checking the clock himself. “Five past, and still nothing,” he commented.

“Fuck you,” you spat.

A spark appeared in his eyes, and he grinned. “Good to see you have some backbone,” he commented.

You could’ve sworn steam was coming out of your ears, but your phone vibrated again. You checked the lock screen, seeing a new text pop up from Jay: hey I can’t make it. You swiped on the message, but nothing followed it. Seriously? That was it? No explanation, and not even a half-assed apology?

“Told you so.”

You spun to face Minho, glare renewed. “And what makes you so sure of yourself and my date?” you demanded.

He snorted, “Life sucks; so does dating. The only thing you’re guaranteed is disappointment.”

Your anger faded slightly as you watched the boy sip his iced coffee, his silhouette stark against the snow outside. When you took a breath to get past your own mingled frustration—both at Jay and your new snarky companion—you saw the tense lines of his face. You wondered what disappointment had left Minho so defensive.

“Alright, enlighten me,” you said, throwing yourself back in the chair. This time, you settled in, sliding out of your coat and leaning forward with your coffee. “Who broke your heart?”

A look of disgust slid over those pretty features. “No one broke anything,” he scoffed, turning to the window and giving you another dose of his sharp profile. You rested your chin on your hand thoughtfully, just watching him and waiting. “Stop looking at me like that,” he muttered. “You’re not my therapist.”

“But I am a perfectly kind stranger. And strangers are the easiest people to talk to,” you said sunnily.

“And don’t sound so happy.”

“No can do, people call me Sunshine for a reason.”

Minho gave a long-suffering sigh. “I’m not calling you that.”

Now you were the one with a cocky smirk, “Why, does it hurt your delicate masculinity?”

A beat of silence, and then, “One of my best friends is called Sunshine.” Minho looked at you sharply. “I’m not calling you that,” he said again.

You waved him off, oddly touched in spite of his gruff tone. This human version of grumpy cat had a best friend named Sunshine? Incredible, and surprisingly soft of him. “Ok fine, no arguments from me. Tell me about her. Or him, whoever it is,” you stumbled over your words.

Minho didn’t seem to notice your blundering. He stared somewhere beyond your shoulder, “No one broke my heart.” Then his eyes focused on you again as he asserted, “I’ve just experienced enough to know better than to hope blindly. The world isn’t looking out for you.”

Humming, you folded your arms as you considered his statements. “Well, I believe in true love,” you started.

“Why am I not surprised?” Minho groaned, rolling his eyes.

“I also believe in the power of positive thinking,” you continued as if he hadn’t spoken. Ignoring his dramatic moaning, you steamrolled ahead. “Yeah, my morning turned out pretty shitty, but if I just go crawl back in bed, I’ll have wasted a whole day over something as silly as wet jeans.”

“Wet jeans and being stood up.”

“And being stood up,” you allowed, gritting your teeth to maintain a smile. “But if I let that stop me from living my life, then I’ve let the negative win. If I go check out a new dating app or two and keep trying, one day I’ll have something good.”

Minho put his coffee down, resting one hand on the table as he met your eyes, gaze hard. “Listen, nothing good comes out of a dating app. You’re wasting your time. And didn’t you say you hate doing that?”

You wanted to argue, but your friends had told you much of the same. Minho was just less polite in his delivery. But you hadn’t had any luck with real life men, either. Case in point: your irritating argument with the perfectly attractive guy in front of you. So that left apps, even if the pickings were regrettably slim. And only growing slimmer, if the ghost date was any indication. You didn’t have the guts to tell Minho that this wasn’t the first time you’d been stood up.

Then you had an idea. Your grin widened, and Minho’s irritated expression faded into apprehension. “Well if I’m doomed to never find love,” you started, batting your eyelashes teasingly. “Why don’t I look for the love of your life instead?”

Minho blanched, recoiling with enough force that his chair rocked back on two legs. “Yeah, no. I don’t think so, sweetheart.”

“I think it’s a terrific idea,” you beamed at him. “I’ve been a successful matchmaker for a bunch of my friends, too. I’ve just had trouble finding my own love interest.”

“What is this, a rom com?” he hissed.

You clapped your hands, overcome with excitement for the first time since the puddle. “Oh, a romance, I wish,” you nearly swooned at the thought. “I promise I’ll do my best. You’d get along great with one of my friends, they’re just as irritable as you.”

Minho exhaled sharply, massaging his forehead with one hand. He closed his eyes, muttering, “What am I doing here?”

“Wait, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. No matchmaking until I know you better,” you amended, whipping out a notebook and pen from your bag. You had just about everything in there—you never knew what emergency might pop up, like brainstorming a match for a stranger. “What are some of your hobbies? Favorite color? Ooh, what about first date activities you love? Oh my goodness, wait, are you looking for men or women?”

Part of you expected Minho to shove his chair back and leave. You wouldn’t be too upset, that just meant you’d have the table to yourself, even if you weren’t waiting on a date anymore. But you didn’t totally hate this guy. And another part of you kind of felt bad for him. He’d never experienced love! Not that you’d had a taste of true love, either, but you knew what was out there. And it was a shame that he didn’t see that too. It was like...someone hating your favorite holiday—unacceptable, if only because you wanted everyone to enjoy it as much as you did.

You begrudgingly admitted that another teeny tiny part of you thought he was too attractive to be so cynical of love. Some lucky girl out there was waiting for Minho, and you were gonna help her out, even if it meant dragging the man kicking and screaming towards her.

But Minho didn’t do what you expected. He didn’t storm off, coffee in hand, scarf flapping in the wind dramatically. He sighed and stood up, but made no move for his coat. “If we’re doing this, I need more coffee,” he said, then turned and made a beeline for the counter without any further explanation.

You blinked after him, more than a bit surprised. He was...going along with this? You tapped the pen against your chin thoughtfully, watching his shoulders flex beneath his turtleneck as he talked to Ruth. His head turned slightly, and you caught a glimpse of his smile—a real one—taking your breath away.

Now, if only you could get him to smile like that for any potential dates. You clicked your pen with renewed vigor, laughing when Minho approached with a new coffee, exasperation written into every line of his face.

* * * * *

It was a lovely Thursday night, and you were curled up on the couch in your comfiest pajamas. Your only companions were a blanket, a mug of tea, and your phone, which you checked every fifteen seconds. The first time all week that Minho hadn’t answered your messages, and it was the night of his first date. You were buzzing with anticipation, practically vibrating as you waited for news, not caring who it came from first.

Finally, you gave up waiting, throwing the blanket as you went to reheat your tea, since you’d let it grow cold while refreshing your messages. The second you reached the kitchen, however, you heard a buzz. You dashed to the couch, scrambling for your phone to find a text from Mari:

He had to dip early, lame date

You nearly screeched. He left? Your fingers pounded the screen:

What!?!?!! Did he say whyyy?

Mari’s response was short and to the point:

An “emergency”

You could read between the lines. Mari was irritated, to say the least, since the blind date had been your brilliant idea. But what on earth had happened with Minho? Your stomach dropped, considering that he might have an actual emergency. You quickly tapped out a message to him to check in, gnawing your lip in worry.

Hey, Mari said you had an emergency, is everything ok?

You waited what felt like ten thousand years before finally seeing the little bubbles appear. His message, however, was not worth the wait:

Didn’t get on with her

You fumed, pressing dial on his contact with enough force, you were amazed your screen didn’t crack. “You left because you didn’t like her?” you screeched as soon as he picked up.

“Yes.”

Gaping like a fish, you fumbled for words to explain how bad that was. “You can’t just—”

“But I did,” Minho cut you off.

“But you can’t,” you said, exasperated. “Jeez, I thought you knew what you were doing. Obviously not. You need a practice date or something so my friends don’t murder you.”

Now it was Minho’s turn to squawk indignantly. “I do not need practice,” he started.

“Yes, obviously you do. You might look like a player but you’ve obviously never talked to a girl for more than ten minutes,” you scolded him. “Who leaves in the middle of a date? With that bad of an excuse?”

“I hate wasting my time. Didn’t we discuss how we should avoid doing that with our love lives,” he snarked.

You groaned, “There’s a difference between not wasting your time and being rude as heck.”

“So what? She was abrasive, rude, cynical, and had a terrible sense of humor,” Minho said, as casually as if he was discussing the weather. “I can’t believe you’re friends.”

“That’s a pretty great description of you, too,” you sassed back, irritation taking over. “We might not be that close, but you can’t just insult everyone I set you up with.”

“Who said I wanted you to set me up with anyone?”

“I assumed you did, otherwise why are you going along with this?” you tried your best to calm down, lower your voice. But something about Minho just put your back up.

“Uh,” Minho actually seemed lost for words. Your ears perked up, eager to catch his answer. “My mom wants to set me up with her friends’ daughters,” he tossed out at last.

Seemed a bit too easy. “Sure,” you drawled, leaning back on the couch.

“Yes, really,” he sneered, and you giggled, picturing the exact expression on his face.

“Ok, whatever you say,” you allowed, laughing slightly. “But you’re still going on a practice date. Tomorrow night, six o’clock. Meet me at the cafe. If you’re not there, I’m gonna find your mom and help her out.”

You hung up on him before he could argue with you, grinning madly as you concocted your plan.

* * * * *

You half expected to wait for Minho to show up, much like your friend did, but much to your surprise, he was waiting for you under the awning when you arrived. “You’re late,” Minho accused, and you grinned sheepishly. You may or may not have lied about the time. Just in case.

“The queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early,” you quipped. Minho rolled his eyes—absolutely what you expected. You giggled, linking your arm through his and tugging him down the sidewalk with you.

“Woah,” Minho yanked at his arm, trying to free himself. “If you wanted to hold hands, you could have asked.”

“You’re too much of a grinch, you’d just say no.”

“Exactly. It’s called consent, sweetheart.”

He nearly fell at the sudden freedom when you released him, shoving your hands deeper into your pockets to escape the chill. “Alright, follow me then, you unromantic dork.” He muttered under his breath as you skipped away, having fun despite his attitude. Time to show him what a real date looked like.

Five seconds later, and not even two blocks from the cafe, Minho groaned, “Are we there yet?”

“No.”

A pause, then, “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” you told him, not for the first time. He’d texted you all night, demanding to know, but your lips were sealed.

Except a certain someone seemed determined to annoy the answers out of you. “Are we there yet?”

You sighed, your skip feeling a little less peppy. “No.”

“Are we—”

“Minho,” you ground out. “If you ask me that one more time, I’m taking you to get your nails done.”

“Ok, sure. I could use a bit of pampering,” he said, the epitome of casual.

You stared at him. “This feels like a trick,” you said slowly.

A grin flashed, “That’s because it is. It’s after six, they’re all closed by now.” But then he frowned slightly. “Now you have me wanting a manicure though, I’ve never gotten one.”

Your brows were practically in your hairline but you just nodded. “Ok, another time, then,” you agreed. You caught sight of a familiar street sign and quickened your steps. “Almost there,” you were nearly vibrating in excitement. You felt Minho’s eyes on you, your skin prickling with awareness, but you ignored him in favor of racing around the street corner. And there it was—the zoo! All lit up...all lit…...not lit up at all. Your feet stumbled to a halt.

“So the zoo is open at night now?” Minho inquired at your shoulder.

You gaped at the dark expanse before you. “But where are the lights?” Because indeed, not a single light was on in the zoo. You’d just visited, not too long ago, and they had been open for night visits, so guests could walk around and see the trees all lit up, and wave hello to a few animals in the enclosures.

“Lights?”

“The Christmas lights,” you cried out, frantic. “They were up the last time I was here.”

“You mean a month ago? For Christmas? Back when it was still December?” Minho questioned you. You nearly snapped back before you realized. It was January. February next week. Of course the lights were down, what kind of idiot were you?

You groaned in defeat, slumping against the wall and sliding down to a crouch. You threw your arms over your head. “I don’t know what we’re going to do, then. I’m sorry I made you walk all this way,” you mumbled into your knees, wishing you could disappear into the sidewalk. Gosh, and you’d really dragged him along, hadn’t you? He obviously hadn’t been that excited, and all of your mysterious “it’s a surprise” nonsense only made this a bigger disappointment.

“It’s a Friday night, things are still open, you know,” Minho pointed out. “So what if you somehow forgot a whole month happened. I forget the year sometimes.”

“What are you, an old man?” you tried to perk up, but the tease fell flat.

“I’m only twenty-two. You must be ancient.” You picked up your head to look at him. A faint smile curled on his lips as he played along.

“Oh my gosh, I’m your noona. If you’re a grandpa, then I’m practically in the grave,” you forced out a chuckle.

Minho’s smile grew, and he extended a hand. “Come on, get up. Night’s still young.”

For a moment, you simply stared at his hand. Then you met his dark gaze, “You aren’t going to take advantage of this? I thought you hated the whole practice date idea.”

He sighed, wiggling his fingers at you. “I don’t hate spending time with you, alright? Now get up or I’m leaving you here.”

Your mouth twitched, a true smile threatening to form, and not just a cover-up. You slid your hand in his gratefully, and Minho pulled you to your feet with more strength than you thought he had. You blinked at him, realizing he hadn’t let your hand go yet. But the second his eyes followed your gaze, he dropped it, sliding his hands into his pants pockets instead.

“So where to?” Minho asked.

You opened your mouth to respond, remembering a pretty little outdoor skating rink, but the skies cracked open, interrupting you with a sudden deluge. You gasped as the first fat raindrops splattered on your forehead, eyes widening before you made a mad dash for the nearest storefront, Minho already a few steps ahead of you.

You’d barely been in the rain for a minute, but the icy water had your teeth chattering already. Had it been any colder, this would’ve been pretty snow. Instead, you got an arctic firehose.

Arms wrapped tightly around yourself, you peered down the street. Beside you, Minho checked a weather app, hissing through his teeth. “Looks like rain all night,” he muttered.

You groaned again, wanting to cry. You’d completely messed up the evening, first with the lights, and now by not checking the weather. You’d planned an outdoor date, why hadn’t you checked?

A hand brushed your shoulder lightly, barely detectable through your coat. “Um, this might not be what you had planned, but my apartment is actually on this street. Wanna just order pizza?”

Your first instinct was a vehement “no”, but you stopped that answer on the tip of your tongue. Minho wasn’t one of the sleazy guys you’d gone out with in the past, the ones who’d thought an apartment invite was more than that. Plus, this wasn’t a real date or anything. It was a practice date, just pals, nothing crazy about that. So why couldn’t you grab pizza at his place? Especially with the monsoon and a long walk back to your own place. And no umbrella.

You found yourself nodding, shivers wracking your body. Minho’s teeth flashed in another fierce grin, “Alright, sweetheart, let’s make a run for it. In three, two, one—”

The two of you raced down the slick sidewalks, dodging lampposts and puddles alike. You skidded to a stop at one of the apartment buildings, nearly slamming into Minho’s back as he yanked the door open, and the two of you tumbled into the warm lobby. Once out of the wet, Minho shook his head like a dog, water droplets spraying everywhere, and you shrieked, hands coming up to protect yourself.

“Sorry,” Minho laughed, not sounding apologetic in the least. “I’m on the sixth floor, so we can take the elevator,” he said, pointing you in the right direction.

The ride up was awkward; the only sound was your jacket zipper rattling from the force of your shivers. Minho unlocked the door to his apartment, waving a hand dramatically. You stepped inside tentatively, toeing off your boots by the door. You watched Minho follow suit, then pad over to a closet along one wall. Your confusion abated when he emerged with towels, passing one to you with raised brows. The two of you were still soaking wet, and you didn’t want to track rainwater all over his apartment.

Minho was already drying his head off one-handed. When he stopped, letting the towel slip down to rest on his shoulders, you giggled at the sight of his hair. He made a face, only adding to the comic effect of his hair standing on end.

“I know you drink coffee, but what about hot tea?” he asked, making his way to the kitchen while you continued to dab at your clothes.

You nodded enthusiastically, eyeing the space from where you stood in the entryway. It was pretty minimal, not a ton of color or anything, but cozy. Black couch, gray curtains, some photos on the wall. Fairly tidy, but definitely nothing out of a magazine. A meow at your feet interrupted your train of thought, and you looked down to coo at the cats that were slowly approaching. “Well aren’t you gorgeous,” you complimented the bravest of the three, who nosed at your hand gingerly.

“Soonie, Doongi, and Dori,” Minho said, pointing at each cat in turn. He leaned on the counter while waiting for the water to boil.

“They’re adorable,” you beamed at him. “And much more friendly.”

“Hey,” he narrowed his eyes. “I’m friendly.”

“Yeah, right,” you laughed at him. Your mirth was interrupted by a fierce shiver, reminding you that you might not be dripping wet, but your clothes were still icy cold.

Minho eyed you as you wrapped your arms around yourself. “I have sweats you can borrow.”

You started to protest, but the next shudder of cold made you change your mind. Besides, you didn’t want to get his furniture soaking wet. So you nodded and waited while Minho disappeared into the bedroom. You shuffled awkwardly to the kitchen, toes curling in your socks.

Minho reappeared. “Here,” he said, voice gruff. He pressed a pair of sweatpants into your hands, along with a fuzzy looking sweatshirt. Your turtleneck wasn’t too wet, just a little damp along the neckline, but you slid the extra layer over your head gratefully. Before you had to ask him, Minho pointed to a half-open door. “The bathroom. I’m going to get something dry on, too,” he added.

You smiled in relief, escaping to the small bathroom gratefully. As soon as the door was shut, you were scrabbling at the soaking wet denim, peeling it down your legs. You grimaced, not missing this experience at all after the last time. Minho’s sweatpants were soft and oh so warm by comparison. And fleece-lined, too. You slung your jeans over the shower rod to dry, rolled the ankles of your borrowed pants—just enough so you wouldn’t be drowning in excess material—and went in search of that promised hot tea.

You found Minho on the phone in the kitchen. When he noticed you, he waved you closer. “Do you like anything on your pizza?” he asked.

“Um,” you scrambled to collect your thoughts. “Cheese?”

Minho cracked a smile. “Cheese it is then. And peppers, onions, cherry tomatoes, garlic, basil,” he rattled off what sounded like an entire grocery list. When he noticed you staring, Minho raised his brows in confusion. You shook your head with a small laugh, leaving him to it. On the counter behind him, you found two mugs, tea bags already steeping. You wrapped your cold fingers around one, humming in contentment. Finally, the shivers stopped.

“Wanna watch a movie while we wait for pizza?” Minho asked, but then he froze, grimacing. “Oh shit, sorry. I mean, you can go home if you want. I don’t mean to keep you if you don’t want to stay. I have an umbrella, and you can keep the sweats I guess—”

“Sure how about a romance?” you interrupted him, grabbing your tea and making your way to the couch. You plopped down, eyeing Minho, who was still stiff as a board by the counter. You giggled at him, “Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two from Mr. Darcy.”

That seemed to knock him out of his stupor. An indignant expression wiped away any trace of sheepishness, and he stomped over to find the remote. “Yeah right,” he scoffed. “I’m not watching a romance.”

“A romantic comedy then,” you decided, snatching the remote out of his hands.

He grabbed it back, lightning quick. “Action.”

You narrowed your eyes, crossing your arms defiantly. “Drama. Fight me and I’ll demand a Hallmark movie.”

Minho smirked, “Fight me and I’ll make it a horror movie.”

You groaned in disgust, glaring at him. “Ok, fine, let’s fight over it. Rock, paper, scissors?”

He rolled his eyes, but ended up on the couch beside you, holding one fist out to meet yours. “Best out of three,” he smirked. “Get ready for a zombie fest.”

After a crushing defeat, Minho slumped on the couch, moaning dramatically when you selected Pride and Prejudice. You giggled at the grumpy man beside you, and his similarity to Mr. Darcy. Most notably their matching pouts.

To your surprise, Minho didn’t interrupt the movie once. Sure, he grumbled at first, but when you snuck a peek at him after about half an hour, you caught him watching intently.

You’d seen the movie at least a dozen times by now, but you still couldn’t resist the pull, and your heart fluttered at the brush of hands the way it did every time. Your breath caught at every interaction, and you couldn’t tear your eyes away to save your life. Until the pizza arrived, at least. You were about to press play, two slices at the ready, when Minho looked over at you. “Why are you so in love with the idea of love?” he asked.

You gaped at him for a moment, taken aback. “What?”

“Not just the movie, but real life,” he said, twisting to face you fully. “Why are you so determined to find Mr. Right? Or to set me up on the perfect date?”

“Don’t you want to find someone?” you questioned him, backing away from the question. “You can’t possibly be putting up with me just to avoid your mom playing matchmaker. I’m literally no better than that.”

He scoffed, “You haven’t met my mother.”

“Maybe I should team up with her.”

“Oh please no.”

You grinned, grabbing a slice of pizza. “Oh please yes,” you teased. “Two matchmakers are better than one.”

Minho shot you an unimpressed look. “I told her I already have a girlfriend, but I felt bad lying to her, so I’m hanging out with you instead.”

You nearly choked on your pizza. So you were a pity friend, great. Or worse, you weren’t even real friends, you were just a convenient excuse to alleviate Minho’s guilt complex. You set the slice back down, no longer hungry.

“Hey, you know I’m joking, right? That was a joke. I’m sarcastic all the time, remember?” Minho nudged you.

“Yeah, sure.”

Minho sighed, leaning over to bump his shoulder into yours. “I might not love the matchmaking, or this dumb movie, but I guess I’m glad we bumped into each other so I could tell you to dump ghost boy from Tinder.” You snorted, biting back a small smile. Noticing this, Minho forged ahead, “And this better not be part of the act to get me to forget my first question, because you still haven’t answered.”

“Minho,” you whined. “Why does it matter?”

“Pretend it’s girls night. We’re practically having a sleepover, minus the nail polish and braids. This is the part where we talk about boys,” he smirked.

“I hate you.”

“Do we need to watch 10 Things I Hate About You next?”

Your brows rose. “I thought you didn’t like romance, how do you even know that movie?”

“.....No reason. Now answer the question already,” he huffed.

You sighed, curling up on your end of the couch. “I guess it’s just something I’m not good at, so I can’t help wanting it to fall in my lap,” you said. “I can’t pull all nighters to find love, that’s not how it works.”

“Well no, studying isn’t the answer,” Minho agreed.

“My parents have the kind of love I want. I’m not rosy-eyed or anything, I know it’s hard work and commitment. But the friendship—that’s what I love the most.”

The two of you sat in silence for a little while, Minho chewing on your words. And you mused on your recent attempts to find a partner. Perhaps dating apps weren’t the way to go, you admitted. Not to Minho, though. He’d never let you hear the end of it.

“Maybe,” Minho started. “You should look for new friends instead of new boyfriends.”

“What do you think this is?” you laughed. “I’ve been setting you up, not looking on Tinder or whatever for myself.”

“Good, you’ve wasted enough time on those trash apps already,” he groused.

You grinned at him, “So I guess you don’t want me to start looking for Bumble girls, huh?”

“Don’t even think about it.”

You giggled, but Minho pressed play on the movie before you could tease him any more. To your surprise, he looked as interested in the ending as you were. You doubted he was misty-eyed like you, though.

A yawn snuck up on you, and you glanced at the clock in surprise. How had it gotten so late? “I should probably be going,” you started.

“I’ll walk you home. It’s late.” Minho grabbed your dishes to bring to the sink, snatching them right out of your hands. You blinked after him, then shrugged, making your way to the bathroom.

Unfortunately, your jeans were still damp, but they’d be fine for the walk home. You squeezed yourself back into the denim, emerging with the borrowed sweatpants. “Laundry?” you asked, since Minho was busy with the dishes.

“Just inside the bedroom, next to the door,” he gestured with his chin, hands still sudsy.

You slid the sweatshirt off as well, placing both in the hamper by the door. Despite your curiosity, you didn’t linger, but you caught a glimpse of an equally tidy bedroom. And a large bed with dark sheets. Why was your heart pounding? Mr. Darcy hadn’t been that distracting. You shook your head, hurrying out of the room. Only then you came face-to-face with Minho, and you had to fight a blush. What on earth was wrong with you?

The awkwardness continued, and you felt strange and itchy the whole walk home with Minho. You were hyper aware of how close you were under the umbrella, of the way your elbows brushed every few steps. Minho was surprisingly quiet, as well. Ordinarily, he’d be making fun of you by now.

As you walked the last block together, you tilted your head to look at him. “So tonight was a fail,” you said.

“What the heck are you talking about?”

“The practice date?” you giggled at his expression. “Total failure.”

Minho’s frown deepened, “I thought it was fun. Even if you made me watch a period drama.”

“Oh no, it was wonderful, but the date part of it was a bust. We need to do another, since tonight doesn’t count,” you told him, slowing to a stop in front of your building’s entrance.

“Well what does count?” Minho asked, exasperation dripping from his tone.

“Hmm, something in public. No one ever does a private first date, and obviously that’s what you need the most help with,” you sassed. “Maybe I’ll kick your ass in laser tag or something.”

“Maybe I should beat you in bowling,” Minho retorted.

You hummed, tapping a finger off your chin. “You might be onto something, actually. How about you come up with our next practice date. That’s your homework.”

“Since when is this a class? With homework assignments?” Minho demanded.

“Oh shut it, or I’m making profiles for you on every dating app I know.”

* * * * *

You looked over at Minho, suspicion tugging at you. “So when you said you should beat me at bowling, did you mean it?”

“I’m going to try and win at whatever we do, I’m competitive like that,” Minho said, holding the door open for you.

“No, I mean, are you secretly a professional bowler or something?” you corrected, making your way towards the shoe rental.

Minho chuckled, “I doubt you’ll believe whatever I say.”

You opened your mouth to object, but decided he was right. “You better not be hustling me,” you threatened, slapping cash down on the counter.

“Pay per game or pay per hour?” the attendant asked.

Minho cheekily slid a few bills beside yours. “Best out of three?”

“Insufferable,” you muttered, watching as the attendant took his money instead of yours.

At least Minho looked just as goofy as you did. The brightly colored bowling shoes looked very out of place against his “cool guy” outfit. You’d already poked fun at him. Who showed up to a date wearing sweats? Not that he looked bad in them, but you had at least dressed up a bit. Then again, you might not have worn a dress if you had known that bowling was on the agenda. You tugged at the sleeves of your sweater dress, feeling a bit out of place as you looked at all of the other couples. Jeans, slacks, more jeans...why had you decided to dress up? You should’ve known Minho would pick something casual.

“Hey, you wanna go first, or should I?” Minho’s voice cut through your thoughts, and you shook the negativity away gratefully.

“You go ahead,” you called over to him, trying to find a smile. What were you so worked up about? It’s not like this was a real date. You could have shown up in a potato sack if you wanted, you weren’t trying to impress anyone, least of all Minho. On that thought, maybe he had the better idea after all. You eyed his sweatpants enviously. You knew how comfy they were, and they’d doubtless be better than the tights you were terrified of ripping.

“Ok sweetheart, prepare for a thrashing,” Minho joked, selecting a bowling ball from the rack.

“You prepare for a thrashing,” you countered, despite knowing it was an empty threat. You probably needed the bumpers if you wanted anything but gutter balls. Then you caught sight of the names on the board. “Did you seriously make my nickname ‘Loser’? What are we, five?”

Minho smirked as he passed you. “We’ve been over this, I’m a grandpa, you’ve got one foot in the grave. Childish antics are beneath us,” he said with a laugh.

“So you’re ‘Lee Know’?” you inquired, curious about his chosen nickname.

Minho turned to face you, tilting his head. “Yeah, that’s what my friends call me.”

“...Am I supposed to call you that?”

“We’re friends, aren’t we? Call me whatever you want. Just not ‘asshole’,” he joked. Your heart warmed, and a true smile found its way to your lips. You watched as Minho wiggled a little, eyeing the pins at the end of the lane. Then, to your utmost surprise, he turned around and rolled the ball between his legs.

“What?” you choked on a laugh, nearly falling over at the sight. Minho backed up, and you both watched as the ball rolled down the lane, painfully slow. It ended up knocking down half of the pins, much to your surprise. Minho just looked proud as he picked up another ball. Miracle of miracles, he wound up with a spare.

You had no words, didn’t even bother trying to explain how his technique had any sort of success. Your own attempt was...pitiful by comparison. Your form looked good, but both balls wound up in the gutter in a matter of seconds.

Minho didn’t waste the opportunity to gloat. “Told you I’d beat you at bowling,” he said with a wink.

You grumbled, flopping down onto the bench next to him. “I didn’t expect you to be successful at the toddler technique.”

“Give it a go, maybe we’ll change your nickname if you win,” he laughed, getting up for his turn.

Halfway through the game, you even tried the ‘toddler technique’. This was also a fail, made worse with the mortifying realization that your underwear would be visible if you bent over too far. When your attempt ended up in the gutter, you resolved to get bumpers for the next game.

But Minho had other plans. You had just approached the lane when you felt a hand on your shoulder. “Keep your wrist straight, you keep twisting it at the last second,” he said.

You turned to face him, finding him close behind you. “Anything else, wise one?”

“Don’t overthink it,” he smiled at you. This close, you could swear his eyes were twinkling. “We can both go get bumpers next round, I need them almost as much as you. I’m amazed at my own streak of luck tonight.”

“I’m terrible at bowling,” you whined, looking away from him. Your cheeks felt warm. Gosh, it was embarrassing to be this bad.

“We can go do something else, we don’t even need to finish this game, let alone all three. As long as you’re having fun, I’m happy.”

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, but looked away quickly. He was watching you so intently, the flush burned hotter, threatening to run down your neck. “I’m sorry you paid for so many games. We can definitely finish them, it’s fine—”

“I’ll never make you do something you don’t want to do,” Minho murmured. You looked at him in surprise, surprised to hear him sounding sincere rather than snarky. “Otherwise, I’d be a shitty friend, wouldn’t I?”

“Right, yeah. An asshole friend,” you agreed, nearly stumbling over the words.

“Ok, I’ll let you focus on your first strike of the night. Don’t overthink it,” he reminded you, walking back to the bench.

You nodded, ignoring the tight feeling in your stomach that reminded you of disappointment. And you sank another one right into the gutter.

Minho’s solution to the bowling fiasco was consolation ice cream. Somewhat surprising, since a part of you had expected him to gloat. Instead, he talked about anything and everything but bowling, entertaining you while you both sat at the window of the local shop. You simply watched him, enraptured. He had hardly opened up at all to you at first. Visiting his apartment felt like the first peek into the real Minho. The happy memories captured in picture frames, the handmade mementos here and there on shelves, all hints as to the soft interior of your once-prickly friend. Now he was regaling you with stories of his best friends—brothers, by the sound of it. Loving rivalry, playful banter, sibling torment. And the look on his face...pride. He was proud of them, his family.

Then you paused, tilted your head to look at him anew. When had Minho stopped being prickly? Where was the cynical, negative, angsty boy you’d befriended, partly out of spite? When had he stopped trying to hold you back with barbed wire edges?

When Minho caught your gaze, he lifted one brow, mouth twitching into a crooked smile. “See something you like?” he sassed you. But his remark was devoid of bitterness. It wasn’t mocking, it was warm, inviting. It was asking you to join in on the joke.

“Yeah,” you said softly. Then you turned up the wattage on your smile, grinning widely at him. “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Minho rolled his eyes at your antics, spinning his ice cream cone between his fingers. But hidden behind your grin was more than a little truth.

* * * * *

You knocked on the door, stepping back tentatively. You could hear raucous laughter on the other side, which would ordinarily have you curious, maybe a little excited to join in. Not tonight. Right now, standing in the hallway outside Minho’s apartment, you were nervous as hell. And on top of it all, you were nearly an hour late, having dragged your feet the whole way there.

“Stop it, this is ridiculous,” you muttered to yourself, shifting from foot to foot. It felt like meeting the parents, which was dumb. Firstly, you and Minho were not dating. Secondly, these were his best friends, not his parents. And thirdly, you and Minho were good friends. You had nothing to worry about. Absolutely nothing.

Which was why you were currently worrying all over the place about meeting Minho’s best friends. What if they hated you? Or worse, what if they pitied you? You thought you’d disappear into a crack in the earth if that happened.

Before you could spend too long contemplating your inevitable end, the door swung open, and a boy came rushing out at you. You gasped, jumping back before he could run into you.

“Sorry, sorry, excuse me!” he blurted, skidding to a stop, then immediately taking off running down the hallway.

You blinked in confusion, but your eyes only widened when a second boy came barrelling out of the apartment after the first. “Minho?”

Minho paused briefly, eyes alighting on your stiff figure. “Hi! Um, I need to take care of something, but I’ll be right back. Go on in,” he waved at you, breaking into a jog, and then a sprint.

Immensely confused, you peered into the apartment, now that the door was wide open. Now or never, you told yourself firmly. Easing through the doorway, you caught sight of six more boys in various states of chaos. Upon noticing your entrance, they all froze. “Uh, hello there,” came a voice on your right. You looked over to see two boys in the kitchen, appearing to be mid-struggle with a bag of popcorn. “You must be Minho’s friend, he said you’d be coming.”

You gave a tiny wave, pasting on a sunshine smile. “Hi guys, it’s nice to meet you, I think? Should I be concerned about the escapee?”

Popcorn boy number two laughed, arms bulging as he ripped open the bag. “Oh no, Hyunjin will be fine. Minho hasn’t made him eat toilet paper in years, he’s above that now.” You must have looked concerned, because the boy chuckled again, waving you off. “It’s all empty threats with that one. Mostly. I’m Changbin, by the way.”

Popcorn boy number one stepped forward, extending a hand to shake. “I’m Chan, and this is our menagerie of chaos. Let me introduce you to everyone,” he offered. You grinned at him, relieved.

By the time Minho returned, practically dragging Hyunjin with him, you were giggling on the couch with the rest of the boys, embroiled in a fierce MarioKart race. With Hyunjin still trapped in a headlock, Minho paused to watch. You just barely caught a glimpse of him from the corner of your eye, too focused on staying on the track. Jeongin had chosen Rainbow Road for your first match, and you were determined to crush them in the dust. Even if it had been several years since you last played.

You watched as your character was knocked off the edge, a cry of dismay falling from your lips. “Dang it, I wasn’t even in first place, what gives?”

Han grinned victoriously, only to cry out when he accidentally drove over the edge as well. “Friends fall together?” he joked.

“You made me go ziplining. Alone,” Minho said, announcing his presence at last.

“Uhhhh,” Han fumbled for an excuse. “You love me anyway, though, right?”

Before Minho could retort, Seungmin stood up. “You can play next, if you want,” he offered.

The rest of you blinked at him in surprise, before looking at his screen and realizing he’d already won the race. Jeongin groaned dramatically, flailing on the couch as he came in second. You and Han just gave up entirely, letting your characters fall off the track once more. Meanwhile, Minho finally decided to release Hyunjin, and the blonde escaped to the other end of the couch, diving into a bowl of chips like nothing had happened.

Felix looked excited, so you tossed him your remote for the next round. “I believe I was promised food,” you said, arching an eyebrow in Minho’s direction.

“I believe I told you to arrive at six,” he fired back, stalking towards you. He finally stopped a foot away, looming over you.

You smirked at him, “What did I tell you on our first date?”

The room went silent, and you froze, realizing your mistake. “You guys are dating and you didn’t tell us?” Han exclaimed, eyes wide.

Your mouth opened and closed, but you couldn’t seem to find any words.

“Oh yeah, real fancy dates, too. We had dinner at the Eiffel tower last week,” Minho drawled. “Isn’t that right, sugar plum?” The cherry on top was when he reached out, lightly pinching your cheek.

A stranger might have mistaken his dry tone for sincerity, but everyone in the room knew Minho’s humor well. Half of the group dissolved into giggles. Changbin rolled his eyes and threw a pillow, but Minho caught it before it could smack into you. “No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend,” Changbin joked.

“All those promises and no follow through,” Han clucked his tongue in mock-disapproval, then ducked when Minho tossed the pillow at him next.

Your cheeks threatened to catch on fire again. The situation only worsened when you met Minho’s dark gaze, his eyes ensnaring you. “So,” you threw out desperately, clapping your hands together. “The food? Or am I going to starve? Not very boyfriend-like,” you tried to laugh. The joke must have been convincing, because the boys merely chuckled, going back to their game.

Minho still hadn’t moved from where he stood over you. Instead of moving back so you could get up, he extended a hand. You bit your lip, teeth digging in, but you placed your hand in his rather than make a scene. The last thing you wanted was more attention, especially with your cheeks warming up past their usual temperature.

Fortunately, he released you as soon as you regained your footing. Your fingers flexed lightly, hand falling back to your side. You kept your chin high as you followed Minho to the kitchen, ignoring the prickling feeling that the boys were still watching you.

“Pizza?” you blurted out, incredulous. “Don’t you eat anything else?”

Minho snorted, leaning against the counter. “For the record, I do know how to cook.”

You snooped in the fridge, disbelieving. “Of course, all evidence points to you being a five star chef,” you said, casting a pointed look at the empty shelves within.

He chuckled, folding his arms while he watched you investigate. “Sweetheart, if you wanted me to cook for you, all you had to do was ask.”

You hummed, closing the refrigerator once more. “I’m kinda afraid you’ll burn something, to be honest,” you teased, grabbing a plate from the cabinet and selecting a slice of now-cold pizza. You popped the pizza in the microwave, then relaxed against the counter opposite Minho. He was still watching you intently, and you frowned. “What? Do I have something on my face?” you asked him.

Minho shook his head wordlessly. Self-consciousness took hold, and you looked down awkwardly, brushing your hair behind one ear. “Hey, I’m sorry about what I said. I totally didn’t mean it the way it came out.”

“I know,” he said, one corner of his mouth quirking up in a half smile.

You tipped your chin again, unable to look at him for long. Even if Minho seemed to forgive your blunder, you still couldn’t believe you’d blurted that out. Your hair fell in front of your face again, and you let it, happy to hide behind the locks.

Then another pair of feet appeared a few inches from yours. Plain black socks next to your patterned ones, covered in cartoon rainbows. Then a butterfly touch along the side of your face, soft enough that you almost doubted the sensation. You lifted your gaze, but this time, Minho’s eyes weren’t on yours. Instead, his laser focus was directed on the hair he was gently situating behind your ear again.

You realized you had forgotten to breathe when he finally took a step back, and your lungs remembered to inflate.

“For the record, you’re right,” Minho said softly. “The queen is never late.”

* * * * *

It was nearing midnight by the time Minho’s friends started leaving. You eyed the clock, then went to grab your shoes as well. “I better get going, I want to get home sometime before dawn,” you joked.

“How close do you live? Are you taking the bus?” Chan asked, worry evident in his tone.

You waved him off, “I’m just a few blocks away, not too long of a walk. Bus doesn’t run after ten or so, anyway.”

Chan frowned, but Minho cut him off before he could say anything. “I was going to walk her home, it’s pretty late.”

That was a surprise to you, but seemed to alleviate Chan’s concern. The others waved goodbye on their way out, Chan following them. “Nice to meet you,” he said, shooting you a quick grin before closing the door behind him.

“You really don’t have to,” you started.

“I want to. It’s late,” Minho reminded you.

“I didn’t argue last time, but I didn’t want to steal your umbrella.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I’m not some little girl in need of protection. It’s a perfectly safe neighborhood.”

Minho didn’t look up, busy tying his shoes. “I like walking.”

“At midnight?”

“Any time of day, really.”

You rolled your eyes. “Do you walk Jeongin home, too?”

“Sure did. He moved in with Han, though, so I don’t anymore,” he said simply. “You don’t have a roommate. If no one’s there to make sure you get home safe, I want to walk with you.”

You gaped at him, unable to fault his logic. And not really wanting to. “Thanks,” you murmured, scuffing one shoe into the floor.

Minho stood up again, a crooked smile on his lips. “Don’t mention it,” he said, snagging his keys. “After you.”

Walking home with Minho, you were reminded of the first time. Then, you’d been so awkward, quiet. Unsure of yourself. You’d been worried that you were some kind of pity friend at first, but after getting to know Minho, you knew that wasn’t the case. And now that you’d grown comfortable around each other, you could hardly get him to shut up. Even now, he was talking about his dance team’s newest choreo, his words running together from excitement.

You smiled, just listening. This was all you really wanted, if you let yourself admit it. The Tinder dates were just a shit attempt at finding someone to sit and listen to for hours. You wanted movie nights and quiet mornings with someone who cared about you. You wanted a cute little house and kids and a dog. Maybe a cat. Maybe three.

Shit.

You were so wrapped up in your realization that you didn’t realize you’d reached your apartment building until Minho snagged your elbow to pull you to a stop. “This isn’t a midnight hike, where do you think you’re going?” he asked incredulously.

You laughed nervously, “Oh, sorry, I was pretty lost in thought.”

“Apparently. Were you listening to a word I said? Some friend you are,” he snorted.

Friend. Right. Your realization didn’t mean much. Why were you surprised? You hadn’t had luck in the romantic department in years, why would that change now? Minho was your friend, and it was obvious that his opinion of you wasn’t going to change. Why would it? He was way out of your league.

Gosh, now you felt like a fool. You’d really just daydreamed about a happily ever after with him. Why did you ever bother getting your hopes up? You were always bound for disappointment. Hadn’t your crappy dates taught you anything?

Minho called your name, bringing you back down to reality. “Sorry,” you muttered, fumbling in your bag to find your keys.

“Are you alright?” he asked. Shoot, now he sounded concerned.

You pasted a sunny smile on your face, “Totally fine. Thank you for walking me back. I won’t keep you any longer.”

You turned away to walk up the steps, but the smile fell as soon as he was out of sight. How were you only just coming to the realization that you were halfway—or perhaps all the way—in love with him? His face was burned into your mind’s eye. Brows furrowed in confusion, slight pout, and those damned eyes. You’d probably been in love with his eyes from the beginning.

“I only agreed to let you play matchmaker so I could see you again.”

You stopped at the top of the steps, not quite believing your ears. Turning slightly, you looked at Minho over your shoulder.

Once he had your attention, he continued, “I bailed on the date with your friend because I knew you’d yell at me.”

Lips parting in surprise, you turned to face him fully. Minho put a foot on the first step, gaze locked on yours. You weren’t sure what he saw when he looked at you, but his mouth softened into a slight smile.

“I was going to do the classic move of teaching you to bowl, but I chickened out,” he said. “I wish I hadn’t.”

“What are you...why are you telling me this?” you asked, fingers curling nervously.

He ascended another step, “You only smile like that when you’re sad. When you start getting in your own head about what you deserve.” Another step, “And I’m tired of hiding.”

Now he was only two steps away. Close enough to touch, if you dared to reach out. You didn’t. “We’re friends,” you said, voice small.

“Yeah, we are,” he agreed. Then he bit his lip, drawing your attention like bees to honey. You sucked in a breath, closing your eyes firmly. When you opened them, Minho was on the step just below you. “Tell me to stop,” he said, voice low. You didn’t.

Your breath stuttered to a stop, your whole body stilling at the electric shock of his lips on yours. For a moment, you were frozen, utterly focused on the whisper of a touch. Then Minho pulled away, and you could breathe again, gasping for air. But you didn’t want it to be over. Your eyes fluttered open, finding his dark gaze melting into you.

This time, you let yourself fall into him, ignoring the voice in the back of your head that said this was a fantasy. He caught you, one arm wrapping around your waist, his other hand coming to your jawline. He ascended that final step, pulling your body into his. His lips were plush, a little dry. Real. Minho was here, warm under your fingertips.

His hand slid up into your hair, slowly enough to make you shiver. You sighed into the kiss, goosebumps appearing on your arms as his fingers gently tugged the strands. And then his mouth opened beneath you, and you let yourself tumble into sensation, drowning in him.

You don’t know how long you kissed, but your heart was racing when you finally came up for air. Minho panted, little breaths puffing against your lips. He rested his forehead against yours, the weight somehow grounding you.

“Do you understand now?” Minho’s voice was hoarse, deeper than before. You shivered, just a bit, and the corner of his lips twitched up.

You couldn’t find words, unable to string any coherent thoughts together. And you didn’t really want to, happy to have your mind all to yourself, no doubts in sight. You leaned forward, placing a small kiss on the tip of Minho’s nose. He scrunched his face up, making you giggle. But you needed to know one thing. “Are we—are things different now?”

“We’re dating. Unless you don’t want that,” he backtracked, eyes wide.

You grinned at him. “I do.”

He heaved out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness. I thought I really fucked up there.”

Now you really laughed, head falling forward to rest on his chest. Minho’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer than you thought was possible. You could hear his heartbeat, thudding just as fast as yours.

“You said the friendship was your favorite part of love,” Minho mused. You hummed in agreement, nodding against him. “Well I hope you don’t get sick of me. I hear I’m pretty annoying.”

“Minho,” you rolled your eyes.

“I know you just rolled your eyes at me,” he teased.

“Well, you are annoying. But I suppose it’s a part of your charm.”

He chuckled, “So that means you like my jokes?”

You smiled fondly, “Don’t push it.”

* * * * *

Masterlist

#skz fanfic #skz fluff #lee know fluff #lee know fanfic #lee know x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #lee know #skz minho #skz lee know #skz imagines #skz scenarios #lee know scenarios #skz minho x reader #minho x reader #lee know fic #skz fic #skz one shot

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belongtothewcrld · 4 years ago

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Just wanted to say a few words about those who made my year ~ (SORRY THIS IS LONG)

@idiot-juice-enthusiast - My sweet baby, where do I begin? I treasure you so much, I know I tease you a lot. BUT I am soo happy you decided to leave me an ask, despite you know, my stupidity. You are so funny and just, idk, BRIGHT. Maybe it’s because you’re still young or maybe it’s because you’re just a ball of light, idk. EITHER WAY. I am so thankful to have you in my life. When my friends slowly started leaving me in RL you were the first one who started to fill that void so like.... tHANKS. Happy New Year, my child! Love you!!

@haikyuufairy - My shooting star, oh gosh. You not only have made my year by being my friend but by blessing me with stories that really shake up my whole existence LMAO. You are incredibly talented, and I just wish the best for you. You deserve so much happiness and success. You’re a beautiful soul inside and out, and the whole world should know it! I want you to know that I really do mean everything I’m saying, because you deserve to be showered in love and compliments. and as long as you keep me around, I will remind you of your worth. >:) I love you, and happy new year!

@toikiwi - you peanut head, what should I even say to you. >:) You are very forgetful, funny and sweet. For some weird reason though you chose to care about me so deeply and for what??? I AM HORRIBLE. do I deserve your affection? probably not. BUT DO I APPRECIATE IT? yes. I never had a friend like you, and I’m really glad we met. ;-; you’re one of a kind. Love you and happy new year!

@alluringeternity - my bestiee. we went from you sending me asks, to watching movies on zoom like I think that’s a whole ass victory. despite our time differences, we make this friendship work and I think that’s sexy ;) I really love talking with you, I know you once thought I’d get bored of you BUT HAHA BITCH IT NEVER HAPPENED. you’re stuck with me forever. I can’t wait until we meet up so then I can cling to you for all eternity. :D MWAHAH love you and it’s not the new year anymore for you so like happy Jan 2nd or something idk LOVE YOU

@suna-r1n - lilyyy, my little duckie, my crybaby friend. I adore you, truly. I’ve never gotten so attached to someone so quickly until you LMAO. I mean I always loved when you would send me random messages but then we ended up talking much more frequently and honestly it was everything. You are so sweet and just... squishy. I’m really glad we became friends and started talking more, because you really are someone I cherish and want to protect >:) so be safe this new years eve, little shit! I love you.

@4fterh0urs - Pheebz you crazy ass ho. JK. You’re just crazy ;) But I respect it. You have made me laugh so many times from the shit you post idk you’re just cool, I GUESS!? You’re also v moral I FEEL? sometimes when everyone else is silent about shit that’s fucked you’re not and I really respect you for it. I feel like we’re similar in weird ways and I really love talking with you. I hope you have a great new years eve, bbs!! love youu.

@chaichai-the-weeb - my fellow Canadian!! I’m still pressed we haven’t met in RL yet but IT WILL HAPPEN!! I’m really glad I ended up messaging you when you left tumblr awhile ago, because now I feel like we’ve become such good friends. ;-; You and I don’t have the best track record with friends but HEY at least now we have each other? It’s amazing though how quickly we went from strangers to good friends LMAO our personalities really work. <3 I know you’re spending today watching anime lol so ENJOY IT. I love you and happy new years!

@haikyuusimp91 - my law school buddy ;-; You not only support the fuck out of my stories but you are an amazing friend. anytime I have law school worries you’re always there for me and I love it so much. I appreciate all you do, even if I don’t say it enough! you put up with me and my psycho ass and honestly idk how you do it BUT I’M GLAD YOU DO. I really hope this year treats you better because you fucking deserve it all. I love you a lot, missy ;-; Sometimes I feel like you’re the older sister I never had - BUT LIKE DON’T BE WEIRDED OUT OK DFGHJKL love YOU BYE (AND HAPPY NEW YEAR)

@aquariarose - my little bodyguard. I have never met anyone with a heart like yours. gold. you are fucking GOLD. at first when we didn’t talk much, I would love whenever you talked about my stories with me. because you always seemed so happy about them and it would make my whole day!! I love talking with you daily and hearing about your life, because honestly girl you living in a shoujo manga LMAO. GO GET YOUR MAN OKAYYYYY hahah I love you sm!! I hope you have a great new years!

@bloody-bella - BELLA OH BELLAAAA, MY SWEET BELLAAAA. hi. :D can I start off by saying you have a cute af voice? like excuse? okay back to the point, YOU. your support is why I was able to finish my stories TRUST ME. your little cute comments and asks, it gave me the courage to * write * LOL. I’m so glad that you joined my among us game and started talking with me more ;-; because I really do wanna get to know you more!! I feel like we may lowkey be twinsies in odd ways ;) BUT I hope you have a lovely new years eve my love!! <3

@yourstarvic - vic the hoe ho. somehow you went from this funny girl with a CRINGE ass UN to one of my good friends?? Your support for my stories has always meant so much to me. I’m always looking forward to hearing your thoughts and listening to you scream about shit LOL. I’m glad we started talking more, because I love your company. Even when you’re telling me something weird af or being horny for NO ASS REASON. You’re a weird one but I love ya. Have a happy new year!

@nerdyphantomlady - my angel of music! you are sucha joy. I adore you so much. I’m really glad that I started talking with you more because you’re sO DAMN CUTE. talking with you melts my heart because you’re just this small ADORABLE BEAN WHO I LOVE. I know you don’t understand iT BUT I AM RIGHT. I know you’re worried about your test coming up but I know 2021 is gonna be your year! MWAH. I love you and happy new year!

@pha2nt0m - gOSH I just need to tell you that you were the reason I was able to finish “let’s do it again” your support means the world to me!! you’re so damn sweet and supportive like idk what I would have done without you??? so thank you so much. I really hope this new year brings you happiness, success and good health!! <33

@newfriendjen - Jen, I love you WHAT THE HECK. You were one of my first followers, in the early days ;-; and you supported me with your whole heart and I CAN NEVER SAY THANK YOU ENOUGH. The thing that I love about you is that you’re not one of those cocky asshole writers who think they’re god’s DFGHJ like you are kind, supportive of others and talented? like SHIT??? you deserve everything because you are the whole package!! you are honestly the ideal - AAAH. I love this new year brings you love and happiness!! <3

@sugawarabby - my lovely, we’ve spoken only a handful of times but each time meant a lot to me! you’re a true delight and I really wish you the best for the next year. I know 2020 wasn’t the best for you but you deserve a happy, love-filled 2021. MWAH. <3

@vicassa - my love, you and your support to my stories is unmatched. I know you think that spamming me would bother me but it never did! I loved talking with you and hearing about your days. when you’re less busy, come talk with me again, hm? Because I loved talking with you. You’re a sweet sweet little bean and I adore you so very much. ;-; But happy new year!!

@hyskoa1998 - hi my love. our schedules rarely match up but I always loved reading your reactions and talking with you ;-; I hope we can talk more this year because I really do wanna be your friend IF YOU WILL HAVE ME. But happy new year! I hope it’s an amazing one.

@tsukkismamagucci - your comments on every single smau - GOLD. everything you post is just so funny or accurate!! everytime your name popped up in my notifications I would be so excited!! or whenever you sent me asks my heart would make some weird ass noises. ;-; so thank you for being so wonderful. I love you and happy new year!!

@kara-grayson04 - one of my first friends on here, and a whole ass little fighter! Thank you for supporting me in my early days on my writing account and for spamming me with funny stuff! you’re someone with a bright future ahead of you and I really wish you the best for 2021!

@chibishae34 - MY OIKAWA PROTECTION SQUAD BUDDY. I have told you this before but again, you are too good for this world and me. I can’t believe you’ve been here since my first smau and it took me so long to start talking with ya. :( that’s my regret for the year. I wish we started talking sooner because you’re sucha joy. thank you for being the amazing person you are though, your support and friendship mean so much to me. I hope you have an amazing 2021. MWAH.

@chocolaterumble - you’re not even on tumblr anymore eh? BUT when you see this, know that I appreciated everything you did for me and our conversations. you’re a kind idiot who really needs to develop a backbone. :)) I say that in the nicest way possible :* Just know 2021 is YOUR year, so make it your bitch. you can have the whole world if you try putting your effort into things that matter. just learn to believe in yourself, aLRIGHT? because you’re fucking awesome.

@dope-squish - one, wHERE THE HECK ARE YOU? I hope you’re okay and safe. ;-; I miss you. it’s not the same without youuu. who else will make my day with funny reactions and memes? but for when you do read this, thank you for being...you. You are so unique, funny and just talented. idk. you’re spectacular like spiderman. thank you for being my friend and supporting me. I hope the new year treats you well. <3 love ya!

@swoonhui - my silly love! thank you for supporting me through it all and trusting me with your troubles. I always love seeing messages from you or asks, because you really are wonderful and likeee I WANT TO PROTECT. haha. I hope you’re having a safe and happy new years eve, missy!! Stay happy. I love you.

@astronomyturtle - shout out for being one of my first supporters and for being a full on badass!! hahaha. no but really. you are amazing, and I really want to thank you for everything. you supported my shit stories and my good ones, and that really means so much. I hope you have a great new years!!

@dreamstormings - hellooo, I just wanted to thank you for your support. it means sosososo much to me. and regarding the stuff we talked about recently, everything you said just demonstrates what a wonderful person you are. thank you for ... existing >:) and happy new year! <3

@rajablast - hii, I just wanted to thank you for always sending me kind and sweet asks ;-; it really means a lot to me. I hope you have an amazing new years eve or new years day!! <3

@elianetsantana - hii. ;-; I know we only started talking recently but it made me really happy so pls don’t be weirded out by me adding you here. <3 I hope in the new year we can talk moree! because you seem super lovely. ;-;

#JAN RAMBLES #also there are others I should have tagged but my brain went empty

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positivementalaxolotl · 5 years ago

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Sand Boy 2.0 (Ripped Out)

Thanks to @gale-of-the-nomads for this fanfic idea and @papyreads for the support! Knowing you're interested is very motivating and uplifting! Also fuck you, Gale because I have other fanfics to be writing and you inspired me to procrastinate those. (Lol jk thanks dude for your permission!) Hope you enjoy! (Warning: Blood and descriptive injury and lots of angst)

------------------------------

Another day, another akuma, another miraculous ladybug and another pound it. Hawkmoth had been very lacking in creativity. He'd been akumitizing so many of the same people, and giving them the same powers, not altering them or anything. I mean, yeah their powers are based off of the victims emotions and trauma, but Hawky could change the power and still fit in, not to mention you'd think there would be more people in Paris going through some real emotional shit that could really make a powerful akuma. Not that Marinette was complaining of coarse. It all made it so much easier to handle being a superhero and a high school student and a bakers assistant and a fashion designer. A nice nights sleep would be sure to help her out in her duties. It was crazy, really. She had gotten so used to everything, it was always Mr. Pigeon, Lady Wi-fi, Miracle Queen, Volpina, all of them. Though in reality there was one she forgot she hadn't seen in a while. She woke up to a panicked text from her parents. She had it so her phone would chime louder if her parents called her or texted her. She was super lucky she did. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have gotten info of an akuma. *Marinette, are you okay?* After that, her father seemed to spam her. *Please answer, Marinette!* And it went on and on until she assured him she was okay and asked why he was so scared all of a sudden. *We got a call that you had been kidnapped by Hawkmoth! With all of these akumitizations we had to be sure.* She looked to her purse and shook the chain that was looped around the edge of the foot of her bed. She assured him that she was safe and he should go back to sleep, and wished him goodnight before going onto the room to see if she could see anything. On the room, she looked around and saw a familiar mist. Glittery yellow and going into peoples homes. It could only be Sandboy! That poor kid had to have been watching scary movies again. It probably took so long after the first time because he was too scared to do it again, especially after finding himself in the middle of nowhere that very same night. "Tikki, we have an emergency!" She declared in a hushed enough tone that no one else could hear, but still got across the fiery determination she always felt when she was needed. "Tikki, Spots on!" ------------------------------ When she arrived to the fight, Chat was already there. He was trying to slow the boy down, but those wafts of sand moved on their own and avoided Chats baton on every hit. "M'Lady! Glad you could finally join me!" He called, smiling as he used that same metal stick to vault his way over to the spotted heroine. "Last time we beat him because of how dumb my nightmare you was. This time... I'm not entirely sure that we'll have that kind of luck. Nightmares change all the time after all." "And what's your nightmare, Chat?" The lady asked out of pure hope that they could use it to their advantage again. Totally not concern. He smirked, deciding it wasn't important to be serious in such a moment. "Well, not being able to call you my bugaboo, of coarse!" Giving his normal wink. His lady of coarse rolled her eyes. How could she not see that coming? "A nightmare? Then you're living in one, Chat." Despite her harsh-ish words, she didn't sound mad or upset or even slightly annoyed. Maybe a little bad, even. "The sand boy just checked in, now nightmares can begin!" The boy chimed, looking to the two superheroes. Though blue eyes noticed that the villains gaze wasn't directly at them, more like he was looking behind them. With a quick turn, she saw a mother and her baby in a stroller. The mom was shaking and covering her baby as she frantically tried to pull the baby and run, though Sand Boy shot a bullet of sand towards them. What could a lady do other than save a mother in need? She was brave, jumping in front of the line of fire, but she knew it would come at a cost. At first she was worried she wouldn't be able to call onto her lucky charm, but when she noticed her Yo-yo working fine, she seemed confused. "What? But it wasn't working last ti-" Her words cut off. With the simple sound and yet another familiar voice caused the girl to freeze. Luckily the mother was able to run, but Ladybug found herself unable to as she heard a little diddy sang. She could tell it was soft and farther away, yet it sounded like it was playing directly next to her ear at the exact same time. She shook, and she could tell Noir was staring. "A little kitty on a roof," the voice played, "All alone without his lady~" She slowly looked up to a nearby building to see those eyes. Disturbingly blue and icy gaze looking right back. "There you are, M'lady!" He called as he jumped down. "I have to admit, I've been fee-line lonely since you abandoned me in that other time line. You never came back to me and I was left all alone!" She backed away, shaking her head as tears threatened to prick out of her eyes. She needed to look strong! For Chat and Hawkmoth. "I-I'm not-" "Scared of me? Oh but M'lady I think you are. You're so scared that... You might fail me. Fail Paris- the world even. You know that if I find out your identity then you will have to go through the same thing... Over and over and over-" "Stop it!" That same voice interrupted itself, but it was far less cold. "M'lady, what's going on? I thought your worse fear was losing your-" And then before another word was spoke, before anyone could finish a single sentence, Sand Boy shot another pound of sand at the Chat, smirking. "Shit..." He called. He could already feel it. The bracelet on his wrist. His trust in Ladybug represented so clearly on his arm- if anything happened, he knew Ladybug would figure him out. But it was far too late anyways. "Chat!" His lady called from an entirely different direction than she was already visibly seen. Right behind him, in a state much like the Ladybug senti-monster was when he first came to her aide. A peacock flying away as she laid on the ground. "I... I don't feel too good... My Chat Noir-" Both the heroes now occupied, Sand Boy could easily use these nightmares to get those jewels for him. That in itself would be far worse than any nightmare they could even know. The real Ladybug was being backed up and taunted. "Oh Bugaboo, you know if you give me your miraculous we can fix everything! We can get rid of all the negativity in the world and make peace with everyone. We could be happy to together like we were before!" Finally, our spotted heroine was against a brick wall. Her heart was racing and her limbs were trembling. She couldn't fight him- it was her partner. Even if a nightmare, she felt so guilty- like she deserved any heart break that came to her, like she deserved to have harsh words thrown at her, like she deserved this torture of knowing she let everyone down. No, none of it happened. It was all fixed, but it just showed how capable she was of fucking up again. And as Chat Noir bent down to cradle his fake lady in his arms, his own nightmares, the real one felt the rough terrain of brick against her back move as she slide down, silently sobbing as she stared at the twisted grin her akumatized partner shared with her. "M-M'Lady?" Noir cried as fake bug reached up and caressed his cheek. He couldn't lose her- not again. So many times watching her disappear in front of his eyes, he couldn't do it again. And yet, as she faded away in a wisp of dust, still knowing what would happen, he reached down to that piece of metal at his wrist. But it was no longer there. In actuality it was never there to begin with. It was never meant for him, it was meant for Luka. Looking up, he watched Ladybug running to him, she looked panicked and lost. He quickly stood and reached to grab her, but his hand only met air as the limb of the woman slowly disappeared, fingertips to shoulder, then shoulder to chest, and spread through her body like blood pumps through veins. His heart ached as and dropped, every time his lady appeared and died...He felt himself get lost in what to do. He could only stand and watch as they all fell down, screaming to himself as he reached for his bracelet over and over again, knowing what the outcome would be but hoping it wouldn't. And yet through the haze of dust and tears, he saw her. One white clawed hand reaching down, followed by another for the sides of her head as they went in for the earrings. And suddenly, all the others didn't matter. She had been staring at him, whereas he knew her eyes were previously on the other. She saw him reach, she saw him panic and saw him scream the words he was so tired of using. After over twenty-five thousand times, it gets old. But he needed to focus. Right now, there was a bigger problem to solve. "Ladybug!" Noir called. Dashing to the others side, he used his metal baton to flick the white cat to the side, to remove him so he could pick up his lady, support her and help her stay balanced. "Are you alright? I'm so sorry for-" "Not now, Chat! Right now we need to get rid of this nightmare..." She spoke through quivering lips. As expected, the nightmare wasn't wasting time to come back up, strutting to them from the other side of the street. "Tsk tsk tsk, M'Lady. You're still fighting it? Still fighting me? Against the inevitability of your partner finding you out?" She gulped, pigtails bouncing with the force of her throat as it processed her saliva. Chat Noir didn't flinch, instead held himself in front of her, keeping her safe from him. "Whatever you mean by that, leave her alone." "Oh of coarse! You weren't there... Or shall I say it... Wasn't the place and time." He snickered, distracting them from a looming threat getting closer, step by step. A paw out, a small energy ball erupted into existence. "She's not afraid of a little kitty cat. She's afraid of love, and afraid of what it would do to the world as a hero. You see," He continued, not once looking over to give away anything sneaking up behind the two. "I found out who she is. And although she doesn't know how since she doesn't know who you are, she does know that if you find out her secret identity before the right time, you'll destroy the world, kill everyone, explode the moon and make the ocean drown everything. And she's scared, because she knows our love did it. It was all because she fell in love with you." She flinched, looking down at the ground. Because it was true. But... Now she knew something she hadn't before. "Chat Blanc," The heroine called, "Maybe I'm scared of him finding my identity out. Maybe I'm scared for my future, but I'm not longer scared of love. I know who you are now, and I think I know how you came into existence." She took a deep breath, stepping forward away from Noir, watching her steps carefully. Of coarse, she wasn't stupid. "You saved my life so many times, Chat. I never meant to upset you, and I never should have let you find me out, but now I know how to stop it. How to keep you from making my nightmare an irreversible reality." Turning around, the hero looked towards the black cat. She reached up and gently rubbed her friends cheeks with her thumbs. "Adrien. I should have known it was you all along. Brave and smart, funny when you want to be. That one time you solved an akuma attack speaking Chinese and fencing, even having the same allergies. I should have found out sooner." She pulled her face closer and closer to the others, who was nervous. Ladybug... She really was in love with him? She loved him now that she knew he was Chat. She didn't love him for him. "LB, Chat Noir is more 'me' than anyone named Adrien could be." She smiled, shaking her head. "I'm afraid of what my love will cause. Well... I was. But now I don't need to be. I'm in love with you Chat. I was just so scared of what our love would do, like when it destroyed the world in another time line. I wanted to tell you but I've been so terrified." There seemed to be a never ending train of water escaping her eyes as she went on. "Scared that I would hurt you. But now I know how to stop it, how to avoid it." This time, Adrien didn't stop her. He didn't tense or shake or pull away. He held her close, and pulled her closer, until finally their lips- -Didn't meet. Something happened. Something that he couldn't describe. One moment, Ladybug was there leaning up to kiss him, the next moment she was yanked away from him and on the floor as she appeared to transform back. She wasn't unconscious or dead, she was very much awake- though from the looks of her ears she probably wished she were. Her earrings were yanked from her ears and her cries were now pained and nearly screams as blood ran from them. And suddenly, his Ladybug became Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Eyes went wide, he had forgotten all about his own nightmare. Losing the love of his life and forgot that there was still another threat. And right next to his own evilized self was his own image of Ladybug. But now, she had holes where her earrings should have been, and she wore pink pants, a white shirt, black jacket, and no mask. She smirked just as eerily as her partner as they bumped fists, mocking their normal victory 'pound it.' "Of you scatterbrained cat, you really forgot about me? How could you..." She looked away, lost and upset. This version of her had died so many times, she seemed to have a hazy hole through her stomach, as if impaled. "I'm hurt... You never saved me. Not once in over twenty-five thousand times, months of work. All for nothing and proof that you aren't meant for me. We aren't made for each other, and that's what hurts the most." After that and seeing Marinettes sobbing form on the ground as she profusely apologized for not paying enough attention, he lost his normally cool temper. Using his baton he would swing and clash and smack every chance he had to get rid of these monsters. Several minutes of trying and attacking for naught, as he failed each time. He was losing breath, and Marinette needed medical attention. But before he could pick her up, she pushed him away. "My earring, Chat. Get them back- I-I can't use my miraculous ladybug- You have to do it. My ears- I can't put them on- I'll be better when you use them, please." She sobbed. The dark haired girl couldn't bare the pain as her ears rang, irrefutably getting more infected as time went on. Chat trusted her blindly, as he always had. He went over those damn nightmares and gave it his all- his lady needed him and he couldn't help but put everything he had into it. And finally his hard work paid off. He hadn't caught them, but the faded girl had tripped and thrown one of them by Chat. With only one earring, he couldn't transform, but... He did have an idea. It was a very sharp object. And his baton would again, save the day. Using said stick, he extending himself into the air, Sandboy had been caught off guard as Chat jumped towards the pillow and used said sharp object to tear the pillow. He had almost dropped the earring since the material was so tough, but he managed to get a big enough hole that his hands could tear though it the rest of the way, catching the little boy before he fell to the ground. Rushing over to where Marinette was- well the fake one, he found the missing earring and ran back to Marinette. "M'Lady? Can you hold this for me?" He said as he removed his ring and handed it to Mari. "I don't want to accidentally cause the end of the world by bringing them together, you know?" He laughed softly, hoping the happy sound might draw out a smile. And although she tried, her head hurt too bad to smile or laugh. "Silly Kitty, thank you." He smiled and put the earrings on, a small and familiar creature appearing. "Marine-tte..!?" The kwami started as a yelp, but ended in a question, as both the holders were very much unmasked and seeing each other. "A lot happened, okay?" Plagg started, having been able to tell what happened based on Marinettes state. And the fact that his miraculous was still on his wearer so he could see everything that happened. "Don't worry, bud. Just do what you have to." He grinned. He knew what would happen. Adrien stood, not really realizing what exactly would happen. He called on a lucky charm which gave him a paper and pencil. He was a little surprised, but Plagg seemed to know what to do. Taking it, he wrote a little note. The boy was bewildered, but nonetheless let the black creature scribble away. Once it was handed back, with the note torn out, it was tossed in the air, words were spoken and ladybugs appeared out of nowhere. But when faced with it, Adrien couldn't remember what happened. Why was Plagg holding a piece of paper? Why was he in Bug boy form and why was Marinette crying on the ground? "Oh my- what happened?" He panicked and watched as Plagg looked, noticed Marinette there, and handed Adrien the note. Bug Boy didn't have time to read it though, he just picked up the sobbing girl and carried her all the way to the hospital where they quickly took her in. They kept asking about what happened, why was she all beat up and had her ear lobes torn. He answered as truthfully as he could, but he didn't know a lot of answers. So he referred to the note, hoping it would enlighten him. "Dear Chat Noir, I had entrusted Marinette with the Ladybug Miraculous for an emergency on my end that was unavoidable. If I hadn't, it would have given away my identity. I was informed by another kwami I had brought with me that something was wrong and I saw everything that happened. Hawkmoth almost got her earrings but you saved them. She couldn't perform the Miraculous Ladybug with her ears in the shape they were in but you stepped up. I wrote all of this down and had it sent by the horse miraculous to let you know what happened, since I knew that everyone would forget with the power of the miraculous Ladybug. Thank you, Bug Boy again for saving the day. I'm sorry but I will be back soon. In the meantime, have Plagg send me back the earrings. He knows where I am since I rushed back just in time. Please remember to get the black cat miraculous back from Marinettes finger. You had given it to her to protect herself after her earrings were stolen. Love, Ladybug." The hero smiled. He was glad he could be of service. He let the nurses know what happened and took the ring back, then went off home and de-transformed. "Here, Plagg." He said and laid back against his bed. He felt a little... Shaken and he didn't know why. His heart was racing, he was tired and scared. Though he passed it off as being worried for his friend. When the kwami came back, Adrien told him about how he was feeling about what happened. He didn't know what happened, but it still seemed to have some kind of affect on him. And once Marinette woke up from the surgery that had to be performed on her ears, she knew that whatever happened had affected her too. Her ears were fixed but she was told not the wear the earrings for at least six weeks. Six whole weeks of not being allowed to save Paris, and it sucked so much. Luckily, the two kwamis were able to arrange something so the two could switch earrings secretly and not find out about each other, but it was so weird. And she still couldn't help but think about it. How she felt. The night they met in the catacombs under Paris, they were on either side of a turned edge so they couldn't see each other, and gave each other the miraculouses by sliding them across the floor in their boxes. Who knows how Plagg was able to convince Adrien that Ladybugs ears were fine but they needed to trade miraculouses. "Hey Chat?" The lady question. "Yes, M'Lady?" He answered. She felt so much less afraid of her feelings. How they would affect their mission. "I may be a bit late on this, but I just wanted you to know that I'm in love with you." It sounded so much better in her head, blunt sounded like a girl confessing her love to a boy that shared his oreos with her. "I mean-" "I understand." Chat said, putting the earrings on. "And I'm happy you feel the same. If I'm to be honest, I feel more myself as Chat Noir. Though, I guess for a while I'm going to have to be Bug Boy again, huh?" The two laughed. It lasted a few moments, and then it died down. "I'm still in love with you. You're not late, but... How would this whole thing work? We aren't allowed to find out our identities and we can't use our miraculouses for personal use." The sigh Lady Noir let out was dragged out. "I didn't think that far ahead." It was true though. "I guess we don't have any choice but to wait until Hawkmoth is defeated." And suddenly, the blond felt an impending doom fall over him. He knew that they would be fighting Hawkmoth for a long time, as Time tagger had taught them. He felt so hopeless. But he knew it was for the best. A least until he saw a black flutter stop in front of him.

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mrs-maximoff-kenner · 4 years ago

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This is Why Men Don't Have Babies

First of my spam posts for @xxwritemeastoryxx blog bingo. Tomorrow is the deadline and I finished the rest of mine today so I'm going to be posting a lot so get ready lol 😂. This one is for my free space and it's Jackson x FemaleOC

It was cute about 4 hours ago. Now I was just starting to get annoyed. But could I tell him that? Of course not. Because if he wasn't pacing then he would just constantly be asking me what I needed or what he could go get me. Or if he should get the nurse. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, I do. He can just be overbearing. And since this is our first baby… It's worse.

He's always treated me like a queen. Especially after the Crescent Curse was broken and we were finally able to really be together. We got married as soon as possible and I got pregnant, basically right away. That brings us to here and now. About to welcome Baby Kenner into the world. And my husband, pacing the room because he has too much nervous energy and my labor is moving slow.

8 hours into labor and I am honestly going to kill my husband. I had to text Hayley and she brought Ollie to come and take Jack to go get a coffee and some food. Just so I can get a half hour of peace. I know he means well. And I am so grateful he cares so much. I just need a little… space.

12 hours into labor and I don't think I've ever been more thankful than I am right now that Jack is here. I am tired and sore and ready to be done but he is just… here. Getting me whatever I need before I even say I need it. I probably look like a horrible sweaty mess by now but I can't even count the number of times he's just told me, without any sort of prompting, how beautiful he thinks I am. I can't imagine doing this, or really anything, without him.

17 hours after my water broke and labor started. 17 long and painful hours. But it was all worth it. It was all so so worth it to be laying here in this bed and to look beside me and see my husband holding our baby girl who is gripping onto my finger so tight while she snuggles into her fathers warm chest. Everything I went through, everything we went through. All of it floats away as Jackson and I look down at our little angel. Adrienne Camille Kenner.

#xxwritemeastoryxxturns2 #the originals #fanfic #jackson kenner #jackson kenner x oc

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

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800 questions part 16

***Turns out it’s more like 792 questions since there’s 8 blanks, but whatever.***

751) What compulsions do you have? I don’t have anything that are “repetitive behaviors or mental acts that a person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession. The behaviors are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or a feared situation.” This can be very debilitating for some people, so it’s not a word to use lightly.

752) What makes you angry? I don’t get angry easily, it takes something serious to do that.

753) If you could see any band, which would you like to see? I’m sad I never got to see Linkin Park with Chester.

754) Who would you say are more attractive, English or Europeans? Uh, aren’t English and Europeans the same? Correct me if I’m wrong. I think you may have meant Americans or Europeans, but regardless of what you meant to say I don’t think one nationality is more attractive than another. I can find someone attractive of any nationality, race, etc.

755) What would you say is your favourite album of all time? Hybrid Theory will always be one of my favorites.

756) Do you dislike hairy people? No, I don’t dislike people just because they have a lot of hair. Jeez.

757) Are you much of an adventurer? No.

758) Do you like your own name? Sure.

759) Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement? I don’t even plan on getting married.

760) How long has your longest ever phone call been? I used to talk on the phone for hours in middle school and some of freshman and sophomore year. Ha, and to think I haaaate talking on the phone now and have for such a long time that I forget there was a time before when I actually liked to.

761) Have you ever stolen anything? When I was a kid I thought the candy in the big candy bins at the grocery store were free to take. Whoops.

762) Could you ever have an affair with a married person? No. I do not want to be with someone who is in a relationship at all. I’ve heard people say, “it’s not like they’re married” as though it makes it okay and no.

763) Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another? I wouldn’t want to split up a couple.

764) What is your family Christmas like? Christmas Eve we have a nice dinner and watch Christmas movies together and then early Christmas morning we open our presents and stockings.

765) Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? Who I like and would want to pursue something with would go further than stuff like that. I want to get to know them for who they are as a person.

766) How much would it cost to buy your love? Can’t buy me love. Yes, cue The Beatles song.

767) Who was your least favourite teacher at school and why? I had two really awful math professors in community college. They were incredibly rude and didn’t teach well at all.

768) If you met a Genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count) End to the pandemic, my health was better, and my family had their debts paid off.

769) What’s your current Mobile phone model and do you like it? I have an iPhone XR. I was fine with it until it started acting up. The new one just came out that’s why, but I can’t afford to upgrade right now.

770) The very last half of the survey and they skipped out on 8 questions. Lameee. It’s more like the 792 question survey. 771) 772) 773) 774) 775) 776) 777)

778) Have you already thought about your babies names? I don’t want to have children.

779) Have you ever been fishing? Only once. I didn’t like it <<< Same, actually.

780) Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face? I don’t think so.

781) Do you have any strange body things? What would be a “strange body thing”? My body is weird, though, both externally and internally.

782) What was the last social faux pas you made? I don’t recall. So, I looked up some common social faux pas cause I couldn’t think of one at the top of my head and one that I do is I tend to try to finish people’s sentences. They’ll tell me a story and I’ll sometimes say what I think they’re going to say. I know it’s annoying so I try not to, but I think my brain is always trying to stay ahead or go too fast, hence why I myself jumble over my words and leave out words when I write/type. It’s especially annoying when I’m wrong with my guess lol they’re like, “well, if you would just let me finish the story...” Whoops. :X

783) What makes you nostalgic? I’m a very nostalgic person so sometimes I’m just feeling extra nostalgic and anything can do it, but ya know typically stuff like movies, TV shows, music, photos, old videos, smells. Anything that just makes me think of old memories. Last night while I was trying to fall asleep I put on an episode of Winnie the Pooh on Disney+ and awwww it just brought me back to childhood right away. I love Winnie the Pooh, he’s so adorable. <3 Another recent example is I watched a few episodes of Goosebumps on Netflix. 784) What’s the scariest thing you've ever done? Taking a gondola ride over 9,000 feet was pretty terrifying. The views were spectacular, though.

785) What fairy tale character would you most associate with? Alice from Alice in Wonderland. She was lost and confused and honestly same.

786) How much do you tend to swear in public? I tend to just swear to myself under my breath most of the time.

787) What are your strengths? Uhhhh.

788) What are your weaknesses? I’m pessimistic, negative, self-deprecating, stubborn, a worrier, unmotivated...

789) What brand are your trainers? Most of my shoes are Adidas.

790) If you ruled your own country, who would you get to write your national anthem? I don’t want to rule my own country.

791) Who is the most intelligent person you know? My brother.

791) What’s the craziest thing you've ever done for someone? Hmm.

792) How did you get your name? My dad had recently heard the name on a TV show he watched and liked how it sounded, so he suggested it to my mom. When I was born my mom said she looked at me and said, “yep, she’s a Stephanie *insert middle name here*. My first and middle name just came together in that moment.

793) What’s the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you? I’m always told not to worry about stuff before I even know anything about what I’m worrying about or the outcome of it, how worrying doesn’t help anything, but I’m the worst about that. My mind wants to start worrying and freaking out right away and assuming the worst. :/

794) If you had to describe yourself as a flavour, what would it be? Salty and bitter? lol. The saltiness is from all my tears, ha.

795) If you had to describe yourself as a car, what would it be? Old and broken down.

796) If you had to describe yourself as an animal, what would it be? A sloth.

797) Do you think laughing at someone else’s misfortune is wrong? Uh, yes?? That’s a real shitty thing to do. Hope you don’t find yourself in that same situation one day.

798) If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing? I don’t know.

799) Would you ever let your parents pick out a partner for you? No. That’s definitely something I want to choose myself.

800) Have you ever tried spam? (the meat product) Ew, yes. It’s gross.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #800 questions #751-800

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creepweirdo · 4 years ago

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It does feel like a good match! I can’t give away my exact kpop obsession because I’ve been posting about them on my previously no kpop blog so it might give away some of the ~mystery~ of who I am (probably not because fandom is big but just in case). My favourite boys have done some blackpink covers so I started listening to more of them too! I didn’t know about the Netflix doc, I’ll watch it. 1/2

My mutual showed me an nct graph/chart thing? With all the members and I cried in fear at the amount of names and how complex it was haha I’ll try again Ahh classic. It was tumblr gifs got me too. I have one mutual (the same one who got me into kpop and they’re smug af about both) spammed my dash with these gorgeous looking people and like the weak bi I am, I had to find out more. I went right to Netflix and watched cql then the special edition on youtube. 2/3 lol

I love that you dove into fic first that’s probably smart because there are so many characters and names to learn. I haven’t watched the donghua, only read the book and some mdzs q. I’ve read some of those fics, but not all of them – so thanks for the recs. Okay two questions today – one mdzs and one not. Who are your top three characters and why? And for non-mdzs hmm what do you like to do in your spare time if you have any?? (I talk too much whoops) 3/3

hi classified cultivator!!

(i’m going to answer under the thing bc i too talk to much 😔💔 lol)

LMAOOO literally! omg i need to find that chat! or watch the nct guide thats in my youtube watch later hahah - it’s an hour and 20 minutes long though,,,, i’m crying in fear as well 💀😭 i watched their new mv that came out today?? (its saying that it came out 17 hours ago - that still counts as ‘today’) and they all appeared at the same time 😳😭i needed a trigger warning tbh.

omg i need to watch the special edition! i have it as a saved playlist on youtube hahaha i’m just not ready to be emotionally destroyed again yet 💔

omg top three characters!!! HAHAHA i’ve been thinking about this. so of course i love wei ying HOWEVER i feel like i relate to lan zhan so much more so he’s my absolute favourite. he was just such an awkward gay disaster as a teen and i FEEL that. and ahhhh (its probably more fanfic meta bc i still haven’t read more of the novel) but the way he’s just physically unable to talk about his feelings 💀 i feel that.

my second fave would have to be nie huaisang ❤️ once i finished cql and watched fatal journey i was just blown away bout how much of a mastermind he is! (and again after watching them they provided so much more context for his characterisation in fanfics LMAO) i also recently read this post on here talking about the foreshadowing at the start of the series - nie huaisang stalking and catching that bird for three days vs him planning the demise of jgy LMAOO. he’s such a king love him.

and my third favourite 🤔 idk it’s probably a tie between jiang cheng and nie mingjue 💀 jiang cheng more seriously bc his life is so tragic and painful but he’s so emotionally constipated and such a baby that i’m like LMAOOO 🥺❤️ i’ve read a few post-canon fics where jiang cheng and wei wuxian fix things between them and they’re always really nice. AHAHA another reason why i like him is because of that scene at the beginning of the show where jiang cheng and lan zhan are sitting at opposite ends of a table waiting for their juniors finish their hunt and they’re just looking at each other in silence with such hatred 💀 it makes me laugh to hard lmaooo.

(nie mingjue is a fave mostly for the meme. idk ever since i saw him in cql i was like 👁👁 i just think he’s neat. we bonded over our hate for jgy ❤️)

i saw this tiktok the other day which was like how hard it is to answer “when people ask me what i do in my free time bc i literally don’t do anything”. which is so me 😭😭 when i’m not at work i’m literally either sleeping in, or on my phone/watching youtube on the tv HAHAH. i did play a lot of animal crossing until like two months ago because i got bored of it 😔 and now i’m waiting for christmas for a new switch game (the legend of zelda age of calamity). my parents said that they would get it for me as a gift but ahhhh i want to play it now hahah i should have bought it for myself. another hobby that i haven’t done in a while is embroidery! but i accidentally got bored of it while in a middle of a piece at the start of the year lol 😳 i should get back into it lmao

but yeah mostly i’m on my phone... looking at posts about mdzs or reading mdzs fanfiction... i am waiting for the next semester of university to start back and then i feel like i’m actually being productive hahahah.

thank you for the questions! i hope you have a good weekend ❤️

#mdzsnetcc #sorry if there are typos 😳

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neriyon · 11 months ago

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I am torn between asking Top 5 Songs and Top 5 Memories so can i ask both?

If it’s not too much? :3c

(If it’s too much I’ll pick one!)

Both is good! We'll start with songs in no particular order:

Equlibrium (Sophia's theme) One of my first favorites! I used to listen to it so much I still remember most of the lyrics by heart haha.

A Long Fall (Twinning theme) I mean, who doesn't love the party dungeon song?

Unbreakable (Fractal Continuum theme) and by extension, Order yet undeciphered (Azys Lla theme). I'm cheating and putting these out together since Unbreakable has Order yet undeciphered's leitmotif in it.

Neath Dark Waters (Amaurot overworld theme) I'm weak for that leitmotif and this one is my favorite one of the different versions.

Last one uhhhhhhh Close in the Distance. Very closely tied with Flow Together, but this was the song I liked so much that I speedran Ultima Thule fates in like two days so I could have the song playing in our house.

Then, top 5 memories. Hmm, this'll require some thinking because my memory is swiss cheese and things just fall out of there if I rattle my head around too much.

First one that comes to mind is our first run of Gubal. Our group (whm, drg and dnc) rolls in with sprouts on and all of us in cutscene. When we got out of cutscene it turned out that the tank was also finnish and declared that she "must protecc" us after asking if we were all first timers. She proceeded to be one of the best tanks I've had a plesure to heal, gave us helpful tips about mechanics and /doted all of us before leaving.

This is gonna sound a little funny but Moonfire Faire. We started playing during the 2019 one, and while we never made it to the event itself (too low level, rip), the memory of seeing the fireworks on Gridania (both on sky and a group of peeps spamming the items next to conjurer's guild haha) while doing our very first quests left a very deep mark on me. I still get really nostalgic every time the fireworks come back~

Figuring out how to do Omega unsynced with only 3 people (so we can farm by ourselves). Mostly blind, we only looked at guides after hitting mechanics we could not figure out. Up until like the last runs we kept forgetting the Omega F knockback (too focused on random chatter), or the exploding debuffs. The 10+ runs we had to do to figure out timing for tank invulns when M & F start dashing around. One of us leveling tank just for that fight (and turns out they like tanking now lol), one having to finish leveling pld bc gnb shooting themselves did not go too well when you have to have hp for the tankbusters after the invuln ends.

Endwalker boss fate farming. Sitting there for hours, getting progressively more tired and unhinged with couple hundred other people as we were so sure that yeah next hour Chi or Daivadipa would spawn. Surely next hour. It's already been 8h over the spawn timer cooldown it MUST spawn soon... right? Right??

Baby's first on launch alliance raid, Puppet's Bunker! I was so nervous haha, first time patch day alliance raid on healer? Scawwyyy. We died soooooo much lol but it was such a blast. People figuring out you could shoot eachother with the lasers, the constant "ohhhhh so that's what that does" in chat, the collective "what the fuck yoko taro?" during second phase of last boss. Now my absolute favorite content in this game is doing alliance raids right after patch so all 24 of us can be equally confused about stuff and just chill dead on the ground together.

#answered ask #shoutout to four lords songs too #esp sunrise (suzaku) and amatsu kaze (byakko) but they all slap #memory shoutouts to endwalker ques (watching dancing emet on loop while sitting in the queue hell)#and all the people who come interact with hyth or ryne when i play!#all the dotes and headpats and “omg hyth!” and “lala ryne cuuuuuute!” messages really make your day better #people get so happy when they see npcs in their df parties and it's really contagious haha

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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932

What's your favourite sport? Do you prefer to watch it or play it?: I love pro wrestling, if you count that as a sport. I definitely prefer to just stay in front of a TV – I have never been in a ring, nor am I physically fit to even give it a shot without getting harshly injured. Conversely, I love table tennis but I’d rather play it than watch a game.

Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook?: It was a stranger who, upon checking, seems to be some sort of spam account promoting a pyramid scheme. Happy to nope the fuck out of there.

Have you ever been to that person's house?: Definitely not. I don’t add people I didn’t know on any level, anyway.

How recently did you wash your hands?: This morning when I cleaned up after Cooper.

How many girls do you know named Emma?: Not a common name here, so I don’t know any Emmas.

[trigger warning under this I guess. Lots of angst going on at the moment.]

Are you upset, for any reason at all?: Yeah. I’ve been feeling very upset and under stress lately...to give you an idea, I find it a personal achievement to have gotten up and taken this survey. I’m at least self-aware that this is a temporary slump, but while it’s here hanging around, it really sucks to be in it.

How did you feel when you woke up today?: Shitty. The only reason I got up at all was to feed my dogs but otherwise I’ve been glued to either the couch or my bed.

When you're stressed, what helps you to relax or calm down?: Lately, it’s episodes of Good Mythical Morning. Rhett, Link, and their crew will never have any idea just how much they’ve helped this 22 year old, now-wondering-what-her-purpose-is-in-life fresh college graduate keep sane, but I’m glad they have hours upon hours of content and podcasts lying around to keep me company while no one else can.

What were you doing before you started this survey?: I finished another survey that I abandoned yesterday, and was watching GMM to fill up the silence in my room.

Is there something else you should be doing, that's more important?: I’ve been job-hunting 24/7 but lately I’ve been giving myself a break on weekends since no one will be processing applications or booking interviews on a Saturday anyway.

When was the last time you neglected to do something that you'd planned?: Around noon today.

Is there someone that can always make you smile no matter how bad you feel?: Apparently not. I’ve been a wreck all month so far and nothing has worked. Before September, I certainly thought animals or certain humans worked as cures for me.

Do you have any friends that you feel don't fully appreciate you?: I don’t feel that way about them. I think my friends care for me a whole lot, which I appreciate. I’ve had friends come to my DMs quite a few times in the last few days with messages of support since I’ve been a little vocal about how sad I’ve been feeling these days, so I for sure don’t feel invisible. Making me feel present is the best gift anyone could give me.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful?: Last week when Gab came over.

Who was the last person that apologised to you?: Myself.

What were they apologising for?: Haven’t been looking out for myself recently.

Do you think they meant it?: I guess not, because I still haven’t stopped being destructive towards myself.

Would you be embarrassed if your parents looked at your Facebook?: I have them as my friends so they see everything. But I’m 22, so while they can complain about some of my posts (and it’s usually the political ones lol), they can’t tell me to take anything down anymore the same way they were able to do so when I was younger.

Describe the personality of the person you have feelings for.: She’s very warm, understanding, generous, and immeasurably protective of the people she loves.

What does your pencil case look like? What's in it?: I have a plush dog pencilcase that I use for my pens and pencils (given by my sister) and a pink pencilcase with a floral design that holds my highlighters (given by Jane).

In your Facebook friends list, who is the first person listed under 'D'?: Some girl named Abby whose surname begins with D. She was someone from my high school and we mutually know each other, but we’re not friends and we’ve never even talked.

How did you meet him/her?: I’ve never talked to her but I’ve known of her since grade school I guess? since she’s my sister’s batchmate.

Did the last person you kissed have facial hair?: No.

You're locked in a room with your ex. Any problems?: It would just be my girlfriend too so there wouldn’t be any problems, except that I’d probably break down crying upon seeing her again because I’ve barely pulled myself together over the last week and have had to go through it alone.

Be honest. What are you most afraid of?: These days I’m definitely doubting my capabilities and achievements and all the shit I’ve put on my resumé and portfolio, and now I’m scared if any company will even give me a chance. I’m honestly holding a little bit of resentment for every employed person right now because I have seen absolutely no one talk about how brutal this whole process/waiting game is, lol. This is so SHITTY, is it just difficult for me or what???? I’m so baffled.

In the last 24 hours, have you seen or spoken to anyone you dislike?: I’ve dealt with myself, but that’s it.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you?: Dark brown.

What is a word or phrase that you say often?: I like saying “I guess” because it makes me sound unsure about most things and thus makes me not 100% accountable if things go wrong hah. I do have another answer that’s more in line with the angst and depression I’ve been going through recently, and it’s that I’ve repeating BoJack Horseman’s ‘piece of shit’ monologue to himself, but this time saying it to myself.

Name 3 songs that remind you of someone special.: Sparks by Coldplay; anything by Mitski; and anything by St. Vincent.

How much chocolate do you have in your house atm, if any?: We have...a lot. We still have the chocolate cake from Nina’s birthday and we recently received an entire pack of various fun-size chocolate bars like Twix, Three Musketeers, etc. from my aunt. We also have chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that I normally would finish up in a day, but I’ve been saving it for every future job rejection I receive.

Who is the most intelligent person you know?: Chesca.

Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them?: Yes. I’m protective of my sister but I don’t show it lol. We are not showy in this family.

Who was the last person you insulted?: Idk probably a politician on social media.

What are the other members of your household doing at this moment?: I have not gone out of my room all day...I did not miss this sensation. It’s been a while since I’ve locked myself up for this long.

Do you have any neighbours that you don't get along with?: There’s a house behind ours that loudly plays 80s and 90s power ballads and love songs and it gets insanely irritating and makes the neighborhood feel cheap, but I keep my feelings to myself and I’ve never actually confronted them about it and asked them to stop or decrease their speaker’s volume.

How recently did you speak to the last person you kissed?: Like 30 minutes ago. I’m not very talkative these days and it was actually just the second time today that I initiated a bried conversation. I feel bad for her, and I can’t wait to get better so I can start treating her right again.

Who was the last person you told to get lost, or something similar?: I don’t usually tell this to people.

Give me a random line from the last song you listened to.: “We know better so we’d both better go.”

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you Facebook messaged?: Lots. She’s my girlfriend lol.

Do you have any plans for tonight?: I don’t know. If I feel any better, I’d practice and review for my upcoming interview this Tuesday, but if I’m not okay by then...I don’t know. I’ve stopped planning my days out recently and just go where my legs take me.

Where were you at 9 o'clock last night?: I was at the dining table trying to take a survey, but I quickly lost interest in it.

In the past week, have you slept past midday?: Kind of. Like I mentioned, Gabie’s on the night shift so I’ve been keeping her company, which means I occasionally take naps in the afternoon.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to?: No. I’m so scared of tomorrows now.

Is there anyone you used to be friends with, that you now dislike?: I dislike Athenna only because of her attitude and the way she treated Angela during the last few days of their friendship. I don’t have any personal beef with her, at least I don’t think I have. She likes stirring up shit though and I won’t be surprised if she was able to make up a story about me to get our other friends to dislike me.

What is your least favourite chocolate bar?: Eh, I’m pretty picky about chocolate bars so I have more brands that I dislike than the ones I do enjoy. I only like Reese’s, Butterfinger, Twix, and Whittaker’s.

Do any of your friends or relatives have the same birthday as you?: Just this girl I went to grade school with named Mitch. Otherwise, April 21 babies are a rare breed apparently.

Name the last song that made you cry.: O by Coldplay.

Who do you miss at this moment?: The me from like two weeks ago lol. How far I’ve fallen.

Where is that person?: Stuck in August, I guess.

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour?: No.

Have you had any deep conversations today?: No.

Is your television on atm?: It’s not, but I have my phone playing GMM videos on YouTube to keep me company.

If it is, what are you watching?: It’s one of their product test videos.

Are you wearing anything blue?: My shirt is blue, actually.

Who were the last 5 people to make you smile?: Rhett and Link, and that’s pretty much it.

Do you use Twitter?: Sure.

Tell me about the last YouTube video you watched. They’re pitting brand name cleaning products and natural cleaning products against each other and seeing which one is more effective. I love these videos of theirs, hahaha.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?: No, I feel like I’ve grilled myself enough in this survey.

#survey #surveys

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artificialqueens · 5 years ago

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nobody knows where we might end up, chapter eight (branjie) - holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr) | word count: 4150

AN: Thank you so much for the recent lovely reviews and feedback on this fic! It makes me so, so happy every time, and even more motivated to keep going. I appreciate you all so much. Thank you Writ for beta-ing this and being wonderful.

(then)

“C’mon, Mami. Please tell me something cool that’s happened at work recently.”

“Patient confidentiality, baby. Not gonna happen.” Vanessa’s mom ruffles her hair, making her scowl. “Can’t be spilling stuff to just anyone.”

“But I’ll understand so much more now! We had our cardio unit in physiology and I aced it.” Vanessa swings her legs on the side of her mom’s bed, watching her pack a sweater in her bag before her night shift.

“Already told you, I can tell you all about the cardiac ICU and what it’s like being on the unit, but no patient-related things. Gotta wait till you’re working in a hospital yourself for that part.” Vanessa’s mom pulls her hair up into a bun, away from her face.

“That’s not going to be until forever.” Vanessa sighs. She wishes she could fast forward to being an intern or a resident now.

“Tell you what. Want me to talk to the cardiologist on the unit about maybe shadowing him? You can see what it’s like, then.” Vanessa’s mom straightens out her light blue scrubs. Vanessa wishes sometimes she could try them on, but it would feel a little too on the nose.

“Would that even work? I thought you have to apply through official channels and stuff.” Vanessa has already applied to some hospitals in the new year for volunteering, but none of them are going to be in cardio, which is what she really wants to see.

“Connections always help, mija. Having a nurse for a mom has got to be useful for something.” Vanessa grins at her mom’s statement. Her mom is definitely why she’s always been drawn to healthcare, seeing her in and out of scrubs for most of her life.

“Though it beats me why you won’t just apply for nursing,” Vanessa’s mom continues, “it’s practical and you’ll have to do less school and you’ll get to make money faster. And no cutting people open.”

Vanessa wrinkles her nose. They’ve had this conversation way too often for her liking. “But night shifts, like the one you’re going to right now. And cleaning up poop.”

“You’ll have night shifts as a resident too, y’know, if you try and become a doctor. They’re unavoidable.”

“All worth it if I get to cut people open eventually.” Vanessa shoots a cheeky grin at her mom when she swats her with her bag.

“What are you, Dr. Frankenstein or something? Gross.” Vanessa’s mom makes a face at her. “I’m telling you, there’s something off about all the surgeons at the hospital. They’re all a little cuckoo in the head.”

Vanessa tries not to laugh. “I bet they think the same thing about the nurses.”

“Oh, they wouldn’t dare. We could kick their asses in a second. Not that we’d ever say that to their faces. Don’t tell them.” Vanessa’s mom points a finger at her.

“When would I ever see the surgeons?”

“I’m gonna get you to shadow one of them, aren’t I? Mom of the year. Pay attention.”

“You really are, Mami.” Vanessa stands up, placing a kiss on her mom’s cheek. “Have a good shift.”

Vanessa’s mom waves her off. “And don’t you forget it. We’ll see about it being a good shift, though. Depends on which bobo day nurse I take over from today.”

Vanessa’s mom pulls on her coat, then hat and gloves, grumbling the whole while. “Damn winter weather. Remind me why we live in Brampton again?”

“Because of your job.”

“Eh.” Vanessa’s mom shrugs. “Now that you and Julio are both out of the house, maybe I should just move to Florida or something. Somewhere warm. Not a place that’s frozen over half of the year.”

“Then I wouldn’t be able to visit you during the holidays!” Vanessa protests her mom’s statement, hands on her hips. It’s not like they’d be able to afford constant plane tickets either.

“Take it easy, mija, I wasn’t being serious.” Vanessa’s mom shoots her a good natured look.

Vanessa huffs. “I know.”

“Glad to know you would miss me, though. You better.” Vanessa’s mom grabs her car keys, nearly drops them in her gloved hands.

Vanessa snorts. “Don’t gloat about it too much. Now go before you’re late for work.”

“Going, going.” Vanessa’s mom pops her head back inside a second later. “Don’t forget to make the plátanos tonight. We’re going to be too swamped to do them before Christmas dinner tomorrow.”

“I won’t!” Vanessa calls it out long after her mom closes the door behind her, rolling off of the bed. She heads to the family computer in the living room, which Julio is still sitting at after playing games on it for most of the day. She rolls her eyes. Her older brother is absolutely addicted to it. All she wants to do is be able to talk to Brooke.

“Julio, move! It’s my turn now.” She stomps her foot too, not that it makes any difference because he doesn’t even look up from the game on the screen.

“Nope.” He pops his lips on the last letter. “I still gotta beat this level.”

“Ugh.” Vanessa rolls her eyes at him, leaning against the monitor. “Do you ever do anything other than play stupid games on this thing?”

“I’m in engineering, dumbass, of course I do.” Julio looks up, his grin smug, making Vanessa huff. Annoying brothers. “I’m enjoying my winter break.”

Vanessa crosses her arms. “I wanna talk to-”

“I don’t care. You have to wait.”

“I’ve been waiting all day.” Vanessa grumbles. She perks up suddenly when remembering exactly what can make him move. “If you don’t move, I’m gonna tell Mami about the time when you were in Grade 12 when you snuck out and went to Noah Fielding’s party and-”

“Do not.” Julio turns from the computer, wide-eyed, pointing a finger at her. “You know she’d still beat my ass for that.”

“Well,” Vanessa shoots him a smug smile, “guess you gotta move then, huh?”

“Fine. Jesus.” Julio grumbles under his breath as he gets up, shuffling to the kitchen. Vanessa takes his seat with a grin.

She logs onto MSN messenger, scanning through her contacts while looking for one very specific person.

“Yes!” Vanessa can’t help but let out a little whoop when she sees that Brooke is online.

Vanjievanjievanjie: Brooke!!! <3

BLDancer1: V! I miss you so much!

Vanjievanjievanjie: I miss u too :( this break has been so long

BLDancer1: Way too long. :(

Vanjievanjievanjie: what are you up to??

BLDancer1: We’re going to midnight Mass later tonight because of Christmas Eve. I gotta get ready soon, ugh.

Vanjievanjievanjie: sounds boring tbh

BLDancer1: It is! I’d much rather be asleep, honestly. Vanjievanjievanjie: nerd

BLDancer1: Like you stay up much later than me! What are you up to?

Vanjievanjievanjie: not doing much for Christmas Eve cuz my mom’s working, just me and my brother and my dog rn but tmrw we have lots of fam over

BLDancer1: That sounds more fun than our Christmas dinners. It’s just my family all sitting around the table and eating quietly like every other dinner.

Vanjievanjievanjie: ew that sounds stiff. how’s the fam tho??

She hasn’t met Brooke’s family, knows very little about them. Brooke always gets more sad and shifty whenever her family is brought up, so Vanessa tries not to do it too much. Though asking over MSN may be better than in person.

BLDancer1: The usual. They said I need to exercise more and tutted about how my grades still aren’t as high as they should be. Not much else.

Vanessa winces. Yikes. Brooke had been fretting about going home the entire week before they left for Christmas break, hanging around Vanessa’s room because she hadn’t wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Vanessa doesn’t know exactly what Brooke’s family is like to make her feel this way, but it makes her want to fight them all.

Not that that would be a good first impression on them.

Vanjievanjievanjie: sorry baby :(((( sending u a big hug from here

BLDancer1: It’s okay. They’re right, I need to be better.

Vanjievanjievanjie: you’re already perfect u angel

BLDancer1: Not as much as I should be, though. My grades weren’t good enough this semester.

Vanjievanjievanjie: u got the top marks in our class u loon

BLDancer1: My mom said they’re not high enough to get into med school, though.

Vanjievanjievanjie: what does she know?? ur already working ur ass off, you’ll do it

BLDancer1: I feel like there’s always more to do, like I’m not doing enough.

Vanjievanjievanjie: listen come here so I can yell at you about how ur already a genius, u dumbass

BLDancer1: LOL, that’s a contradicting statement.

Vanjievanjievanjie: u know what I mean.

BLDancer1: Ugh. I do. I just hate being here and hearing them lecture me constantly about things.

Vanjievanjievanjie: :(((

Vanessa spams a lot of emojis after her message for emphasis, hoping that it makes Brooke laugh at least.

BLDancer1: What is the blueberry emoji for?

Vanjievanjievanjie: because i miss u BERRY MUCH

BLDancer1: LOL. I miss you and you remain the cutest ever. :*

Vanjievanjievanjie: 5 more days to go!!

BLDancer1: I’m counting them down. <3

Vanessa has to stop herself from smiling when she signs off after Brooke has to leave. Five more days until she gets to see her, hug her, kiss her again. Five more days until she can go back to telling Brooke how she’s already wonderful just the way that she is, no matter what her family says. She hopes that Brooke starts to believe it, too.

(now)

Nessa.

Dr. Hytes had called her Nessa again. Brooke had called her Nessa.

Vanessa hasn’t heard the nickname since junior year of undergrad. No one else has called her that since then, no ex-girlfriends or family or anything. No one since Brooke.

It’s what Brooke used to call her when she was feeling particularly affectionate, or soft, or needy. When she’d drape herself over Vanessa, seeking comfort in her touch and the way that both of their bodies would feel warmer, safer.

And now she’s gone and said it again.

Sure, maybe it had been in the heat of the moment. Banging on Vanessa’s desk, skiving off the boring assembly for something way more fun.

But that sex had been different, Vanessa knows it. She had felt it on Brooke’s lap and she still feels it now, two days later because all her fucking brain wants to replay on loop is Brooke’s voice saying Nessa.

Maybe it’s good that the OR has been overly booked with cardiac surgeries and that Dr. St. Clair is out sick, making Vanessa’s schedule overflow with work. She needs the distraction, needs concrete work to focus on because if she doesn’t have it, she’s going to fucking spiral.

Not that it helps, because even during surgeries her mind has started to wander, falling back on muscle memory for the procedures because her brain has decided that it would rather focus on that fucking voice.

She can’t do this again. At least, that’s what the rational part of her brain is telling herself. That her breakup with Brooke had been her worst breakup for a reason, drudging up all of her insecurities and fear and crushing her heart with a weight on her chest until it had smashed into a million pieces.

She can’t survive it a second time. She can’t.

Because sex is one thing. The chance to get freaky with someone who already knows her body, knows what she likes, knows what to do. Someone who has no doubt improved over the last eleven years as well.

But the way that Brooke had held onto her that last time, whispered to her softly, pressing kisses to her temple that hadn’t just been offhand, but felt so loaded with unspoken words? It had felt so real in the moment, and still feels real now when she thinks about it. Mostly because she can’t stop thinking about it.

Nessa.

Not Dr. Mateo, not Vanessa - the latter of which Brooke had began to use before they had broken up, when they had danced around each other and said words that neither of them had been able to take back.

Nessa.

It has to mean something.

Vanessa hates how much she wants it to. How much her heart is begging to go back to the start, to how things used to be. She needs to resist it.

At least, that’s what she’s going to keep telling herself.

“Vanjie. Vanjie.”

“What?!” She nearly jumps when seeing Kameron suddenly in front of her waving a hand in front of her face, blocking her view of the computer she’s sitting at in the dictation room. “Jesus Christ, woman. You scared me.”

Kameron snickers and Vanessa can’t help but smile back as she rolls her eyes, taking her thoughts of Brooke and pushing them away, burying them down in favour of Kameron’s expectant face. She’s beginning to bond with the cardiac surgery team in and out of the OR, a fact that makes her happier than it should. They’re all on a first name basis (well, nickname for her), and they’ve begun to hang out after work. Little things that are beginning to make Toronto feel more like home again.

“You’ve been so on edge for days. What’s gotten into you?” Kameron raps her nails on the computer monitor, and Vanessa closes her open tab with a sigh. Clearly she’s not going to get much work done.

“Nothing. Just tired, is all. This week’s been a fucking mess with the long hours.” Vanessa shrugs up at her. She can already feel a tension headache brewing at her temples, though she knows it’s not just from the workload.

Sure, they’re all friends now. But does she want to spill the saga of whatever the fuck is going on with her and Brooke to a work friend? Not particularly.

“You’re telling me. It’s nine p.m. and we’re still here because of all this documentation left over that we still have to do because of all the extra OR time we’ve had to take on this week? I want to go to bed.” Kameron flops down in the chair beside her looking slightly put out.

“Where’s Asia?” Vanessa looks at the spot beside Kameron and is surprised to see it empty, because the two of them are not far from being attached at the hip when they aren’t with patients.

Kameron huffs. “On a date. Again.”

An interesting fact indeed. It’s Asia’s third date just this week, and coincidentally the third day of Kameron walking - no, stomping - around the cardiac units with an extra furrow in her brow.

Hell, Vanessa needs a distraction from her own love life - or rather, lack of one, so she may as well bother Kameron about hers.

“That seems to be making you feel some type of way, huh?” Vanessa wants to tread carefully because she knows that she’s best friends with Asia, but the way that Kameron is affected seems like-

“I’m not jealous, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Kameron’s a bit quick in her answer, fiddling with her hands. “Asia just goes out with all of these…lame guys and never seems to enjoy it, anyway, from the way she always comes over for a glass of wine afterwards to talk about it and it’s just…annoying. That’s all.”

“Jealousy or not, it’s clearly upsetting you a little.” Oh, has Vanessa been there. Crushing on a straight girl. Not something she’d ever want to repeat.

“Hmph.” Kameron folds her arms, and the action when contrasting with her scrubs and lab coat is a little funny. “It’s not. She’s just my best friend. I don’t care.”

“You’re so convincing, I almost believed you there for a second.”

Kameron scowls. “I don’t.”

“Hey.” Vanessa takes pity, putting her hand on Kameron’s shoulder. “Care or not, you ever want to talk about it, I’m here, ‘kay? I get it.”

Kameron deflates in her seat. “Thanks. Not that I need to talk about it,” she’s quick to add, “but I appreciate it.”

Vanessa shoos her away. “I know. Now go, I gotta finish dictating this report.”

She can hear Kameron’s snort as she heads down the hallway, and can’t help but smile either as she shakes her head. Kameron’s unrequited crush, no matter how much the other doctor doesn’t want to admit it, is cute. Though not something Vanessa pities in the least - she’s glad she’s moved on from that stage in her life.

Kameron’s problems are enough to distract her to get her through the rest of her reports, her mind blissfully clear of her own issues (she can’t start thinking about Brooke again, she can’t). It isn’t until she’s home a few hours later, setting her alarm for the morning that she realizes the next day is Thursday. Her next meeting with Brooke and the team about the surgery. Where she has to see her again.

Shit.

Grabbing an extra coffee before the meeting hadn’t been the smartest idea, something that Vanessa is beginning to realize the longer and longer she has to sit in this conference room while fighting the urge to bounce her leg in her seat.

The anesthesiologist is droning on and on, his nasally voice making Vanessa cringe. She has ten minutes before he’s done his explanation to the patient, family, and the rest of the surgery team. It’s going to be her turn straight after, having to review the patient’s tachycardic issues and the precautions that the team will have to keep in mind.

Except that her brain is running way too fast and circling through her thoughts at what feels like a million miles an hour, and she’s trying to look down at her notes and pay attention to them while listening to the meeting at the same time, but all she can focus on is Brooke.

Brooke, who is sitting at the other end of the table, looking incredibly focused and calm and is participating in the discussion as if she doesn’t have a care in the world. Brooke, who greeted her when she came in with a neutral smile and a handshake as if they didn’t have the most confusing sex the last time they were in each other’s presence.

Brooke isn’t shaking in her seat the way Vanessa is, nor are her eyes darting around the rest of the room. She’s not stuttering on her words, not like Vanessa did when the patient’s wife had asked her a question and she missed half of it.

How is Brooke so unflappable?

“Dr. Mateo?”

“Huh?”

The case manager is looking at her expectantly and shit, it’s her turn to speak and she hasn’t even noticed.

Vanessa can feel the blush rising in her cheeks as she clears her throat, trying as best as she can to not make eye contact with Brooke.

Of course, Brooke’s direction is exactly where Vanessa looks as soon as she starts her spiel. Her blonde waves are falling down her shoulders and her head is slightly tilted as she fixes her steady gaze on Vanessa, and it’s enough to make her pause for a second, stumble on her words. A real great look for a cardiothoracic attending surgeon.

Vanessa finds it difficult to look away from Brooke as she continues talking, her eyes somehow always straying and returning back to her. As if Brooke is a homing beacon that pulls her back in every time, one that Vanessa can’t seem to change her course from no matter how hard she tries to do so.

Brooke doesn’t shift her gaze away either. Vanessa can’t tell if the way that Brooke bites her lip and the storm that’s brewing behind her eyes are real or just in her imagination, as if she’s projecting what she’s feeling - what she wants to feel - onto Brooke.

Hell, Vanessa’s not even sure what she herself is feeling anymore.

She can’t stop herself from tugging on Brooke’s arm as the meeting ends, holding her back while everyone else around them leaves. Brooke turns around and for a second Vanessa wonders if she’s made a mistake, because being so close to her and seeing confusion and pain and emotions that she doesn’t recognize on Brooke’s face are nearly enough to knock her over.

Brooke shuts the door as the last person leaves, and maybe it’s good that they’re now both on their lunch break because there’s no way Vanessa can even think about work. Not when Brooke is taking a step closer to her, then another, lips parted as if she wants to say something but she’s still holding back.

“What are we doing?” Vanessa can’t help the pleading tone in her voice, because she doesn’t know, has no idea and she’s so fucking confused.

“I…” Brooke’s voice trails off as her eyes search Vanessa’s face, breath hitched and Vanessa wants to scream, because if Brooke doesn’t know, then what are they supposed to do? She can’t take this state of limbo anymore, walking on a tightrope that feels like it’s losing stability, becoming more shaky the more that they try to balance on it.

Brooke puts her hand underneath her chin, tilts her head up and Vanessa is sure that Brooke can see the way that her chest is rising and falling, the air feeling like its escaping her lungs faster than she’s able to bring it in.

It’s almost predictable when Brooke kisses her, wipes the slate of her mind clean with the way her hands come to rest on either side of her face. Vanessa can’t help but stretch up on her tiptoes, sighing into the kiss because it feels right, it feels okay, even though her brain is screaming no, no, no.

It’s not going to solve things, but what does it matter? When Brooke pulls her hips in closer and they press together like two puzzle pieces that somehow fit as if they were never meant to be apart. The smell of Brooke’s shampoo, the softness of her hands, it’s all so familiar and part of memories that still haven’t been erased from her brain no matter how much she had tried to do so when they broke up. It’s all coming back to her now, resurfacing as if she’d never buried them out of anger in the first place.

Maybe it’s a bit destructive, especially because now it’s not just sex, or releasing tension. Not for her, not anymore.

The realization sinks in deep into Vanessa’s chest when Brooke starts to kiss down the column of her neck, hands trailing down her sides and lips pressing against her hip bone as she gets on her knees when she pushes her shirt up and-

She can’t do it.

Not like this. Not right now.

“No.” Vanessa pushes on Brooke’s shoulders and Brooke moves back immediately, wide eyed and hair slightly mussed and an apology on her lips that begins to spill but Vanessa doesn’t hear it, not with the realization that this is all it will be. Sex.

Vanessa had thought that she could do it, she really did. Except that now her heart feels like it’s being tugged, pulled towards Brooke, someone who doesn’t want her for more than that because why would she? That isn’t their arrangement. Never was. The expectations have been to have no strings attached.

Which is something that Vanessa had thought was possible. Though she should have known better - as if her heart will ever able to release the ropes that it had tied to Brooke back when they first started university.

She pushes her way out of the conference room on shaky legs, ignoring Brooke’s voice from behind her that she can’t tell what she’s saying because her brain isn’t working, not right now. The signs down the long hallway start to blur together as she tries to look up and find the way to her office because where the fuck is it, she can’t break down in the hall, she’s an attending, what will everyone say? But then she’s there and slamming the door behind her, leaning against it because her legs can’t do something as simple as holding her up right now.

“Vanessa. Vanessa.” The voice on the other side is a little desperate (no, no, no), with the banging of a fist on a door that follows makes her squeeze her eyes shut tight. She wants to disappear, make it as if none of this happened and as if she never even came back in the first place because of course she was naive enough to think that she could be back here with no problems.

Vanessa had thought that she’d freed herself. But now, she realizes that she hasn’t. She never had.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #hospital au #lesbian au #holtzmanns #nobody knows where we might end up

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