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jokeroutsubs · 2 years ago

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Bojan on the cover of Astro Suzy, special summer edition of Suzy Magazine, focusing on astrology and spirituality. Scans and ENG Translation by: @kurooscoffee Cover Title:

Bojan Cvjetičanin: "We have a duty to change things for the better"

Article title:

We are driven by our love of life

WITH JOKER OUT, WE HAVE WITNESSED A MENTAL LEAP AND A SOCIAL PHENOMENON THAT WE HAVE LONGED FOR. THE BOYS GIVE HOPE THAT YOUNG PEOPLE ARE CONNECTING INTO A STRONG COMMUNITY THAT CARES ABOUT THE FUTURE, EVEN THOUGH PREVIOUS GENERATIONS HAVE LEFT THEM IN RUINS. IN A FLOOD OF STARLETS AND ARTIFICIALLY CREATED ONLINE INFLUENCERS, WE GOT ROLE MODELS WHO DON'T OFFER DISCOUNT CODES, BUT IMPORTANT MUSICAL MESSAGES ABOUT VALUES. IN THE MIDDLE OF A SLOVENIAN AND EUROPEAN TOUR, THE LEAD SINGER AND VISUAL OF THE BAND SHARED WITH US WHAT HE'S THINKING ABOUT, WHAT CAUSES HE'S STANDING BEHIND, AND WHY IT'S BENEFICIAL TO DEEPEN YOUR SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE. What are you thinking about as representatives of the new wave, the new generation? What is your attitude towards the dynamics in society, climate change, pervasive social networks, in short, everything that weighs on modern man? On the one hand, we ourselves are involved in all the processes that actively and continuously prolong the problems you are talking about. On the other hand, we are deeply aware of them and we are afraid of what is coming. It seems to me that in our generation the desire for change is very strong. There is a universal language of youth that has come together on the basis of feeling obliged and able to change things for the better. The song New Wave is about just that. We are ready to celebrate this common strength because we are encouraged by the idea that we are not alone. At the same time, we know that we are compelled to do something because someone before us has seriously 'fucked up'.

In your hit song 'Novi Val' (New Wave), already the very first verse has you wonder where to go from here. Do you know the answer?

If we want to do anything other than burn the horizon, the only way is towards community, away from egocentrism, with an onlook towards common good.

Let's stick to the anthem of the generation of love, as you named your peers and loyal supporters. The phrase 'We were born yesterday and everything is already our fault' is powerful and worrying. You have been given a pitiful lagecy by your ancestors. How do you defend yourself from taking a role of a victim and instead get actively involved in creating a brighter future?

Great question! It would be hard to change anything for the better if we put on the victim's cloak. The fact that in recent years it has become clear that there is a rebellion by people who have had enough is already a cause for optimism. When you put yourself in the role of the one who carries a scepter as a synonym of the leader of change, you move away from being a victim. And each one of us in this community carries it. In reality, we are taking the position that society is currently a victim and it is our task to defend it.

How?

We all contribute in our own way. The role of musicians is to connect people with positive messages. So by constantly reminding people about friendship, love and other social components that can be tapped into through music. In Slovenia, we have a lot of organisations that are trying to change the situation for the better in many different ways. It does not require much to at least educate oneself about what these organisations are doing. I have the feeling that many people would like to get involved and help. At the end of grammar school and at college, we were encouraged to find out about collective organisations. It was clear to them that many people would want to join of their own initiative once they knew what they stood for. I know many former classmates who are very active members and supporters of various movements. Even if we minimise our own negative energy on social networks, it is a big step towards a good state of society, and of mind.

(picture 1: Family Cvjetićanin knows how to stick together)

You seem to care about a world that is increasingly drowning in chaos. You have become idols, not only of young people, but also of their parents. Is this a burden of responsibility or does it encourage you do even more activism?

It's a great feeling when the little ones take you for an idol. As a teenager, it was also inspiring to be surrounded by the music of Big Foot Mama and Siddharta. It gave me a message in a language that I could not compare with anything else. But our creativity does not depend on what people think of us or how they perceive us. But it is a great honour to know that you are one of those who encourage someone. Many people are listening, but not hearing. Joker Out is made up of five individuals who, in real life, when the cameras and the spotlights are off, are just normal guys. We went through all the processes of growing up on the streets, socialising and playing. We went through the process of going to school, and we were not problematic adolescents. Even today, our most extreme departure from an ideal is what 99% of young people do. To party sometimes. We are not outlaws by nature.

Your work is a beacon of light, a source of hope and strength. Many have done it before you, especially the Beatles. A lot has changed since their era, much of it unfortunately for the worse. How do you keep optimistic? Why is it worth the effort?

Every musician in history who has sung about ending war and living for love has failed miserably. I believe that at least those people who follow the messenger are convinced of peace and love. If every musician encourages someone to to do so, it's a hefty amount of opponents of hate. We are driven forward by love for life.

Writing texts is a responsible job, and you are baring your soul at the same time. Where is the line, to what lengths are you willing to go to protect the most vulnerable part of yourself?

I have never consciously inhibited the process of looking inside myself. But I feel that with age and experience I understand more and more what can lead me to a deeper state of mind. In the beginning I didn't dare to dig into myself. Today I have no problem in fully exposing my feelings, because they are, after all, states that happen of their own accord - and it is impossible to force them

(picture 2: The boys of Joker Out became even closer)

No Slovenian artist has enjoyed such a fierce international success as Joker Out. Concerts in iconic European clubs are literally sold out in hours, even minutes. How do you accept fame? Is it a blessing or is there also a bit of fear?

There are certainly Slovenian musicians with international experience. Maybe not at our age, but that doesn't take away from their importance. We have achieved a very nice success here in terms of listeners, we have honed our skills and we have grown with the band as a collective. We have grasped who and what we are as a whole. We are a group of people who make music purely because we really enjoy it. Whatever feelings our music-making evokes, it all comes from us in the most sincere way, Fortunately, our music is liked by a larger crowd and we have managed to transmit our unforced joy, happiness, joy across national borders. There is no better catalyst for such a breakthrough than Eurovision, we chose the moment to participate wisely. It paid off as a successful project, because for a good band it doesn't matter which part of the world it comes from. It's important to be heard - and we were heard by a lot of people. The only thing that has changed so far is that the bonds between us have strengthened. Suddenly we have been forced to talk about emotions and experiences that we did not have before. There has been a lot of filtering of unfamiliar feelings. The desire to create increased a thousandfold for all five of us.

Are you aware of the role that the public attributes to you, to act as a beacon of light in a crowd of frustrated, bitter people?

No. I would hardly say that I can understand that. Every time I hear something like that, it strikes me that it is saying too much. I really cannot think of myself in such a strong context.

You are giving yourself away. You are constantly on the road, interviews, concerts, promotional tours. It's exhausting. How do you recover? What calms you down, fills you with grace?

It's true that we give a lot of ourselves. But we get so much more in return. Nothing calms me more than coming home and being close to my family. And of course the company of Kris, Jan, Jure and Nace. The people we were with friends before this euphoria, have stayed with us, this team surround us with a lot of love.

(picture 3: He's noticing, that young people are connecting into a strong community that cares about the future)

As a front-man and lyricist, you are even more exposed. You've crossed the magical 200 thousand followers on Instagram, which is a mega number, but also a mega stressful situation. Most young people who find themselves in such a situation turn to intoxicating substances. Can you consciously stop and say that you need time for yourself?

The only thing that made me a bit anxious was the sudden exposure to such a large audience'on social media. This brings with it unimaginable dimensions of human imagination, including malice. Imaginary stories emerge in which people literally compete to see who can come up with something more bizarre. This stress got to me at the beginning, because I felt that I had to defend myself in front of the public. In the end, I realised that I didn't need to convince anyone and that it was enough to know the truth. With the help of colleagues who have similar experiences, I have calmed down. As for the substances, I have a natural protection against those, because I am an incorrigible hypochonder. I dare not take an aspirin unless it is really urgent. Above all, I know when to stop.

You come from a close-knit, loving family. That is certainly a solid foundation on which to build your personality. What is their view of everything that happens to you?

They are very proud! Of all my achievements and of me for being able to pull off a music career combined with the academic milestone of graduating. My parents and my grandmother are definitely my biggest supporters. They accompany me on my journey with warnings, but they are more about eating regularly, to not get a stomach ache, to consume enough water and to get enough sleep. I have been chronically lacking the latter in the last few weeks.

What is your relationship to astrology, esotericism, in short, something that is intangible but can be felt?

Superstition is the one I use the most. For Eurovision I had a special pair of underpants and I was haunted by the feeling that if I didn't wear them, everything would go to hell. Jan's mum gave me a lace clover, which I didn't dare leave in Ljubljana. I asked the stylist to sew it on my outfit as a precaution. I got a clay horseshoe from a little girl, and it went with me to Liverpool. It will seem strange to some, but I believe in energies and ghosts.

How do you strengthen your spiritual side?

Not very well. I wish I had managed to acquire more spiritual knowledge in the last year. For example, basic meditation techniques and the laws of yoga, because I am definitely not physically active enough. The feeling of being 90 years old eats up most of my spirit. My back hurts all the time. The best thing I do for inner growth is to read books. Not enough, but I'm going to get better. A little less phone scrolling and more self-reflection, that'll do the job! Author: Tomaž Mihelič, PHOTO: VITA OREHEK

Scans and translation by: @kurooscoffee (jokeroutsubs) DO NOT REPOST!

#Joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #bojan cvjeticanin #a sociologist rambling about sociological issues... this interview was so much fun to translate #but also challenging!!#i hope I did it justice #Bojan is SO well spoken in Slovenian <3 #and anyway people who have been following us saw the stuff like Bojan/JO doing these random acts of kindness that'd almost stay unnoticed #because JO never mention them - but the people who they made happy posted about it on their websites and social media so we learnt about it #they're also doing another charity concert next week in Ljubljana for a kid with a unique illness that requires very expensive treatment #there were also reports of Bojan donating to charity before he was even (that) famous #so yeah he's not just bullshitting but really stands behind what he says #he's a good bean

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blametheeditor · 19 days ago

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Making It Up As You Go

Plan A: Find a way to stop the giant robot apocalypse.

Plan B: Join forces with one of the previously mentioned giant robots.

Content warnings: Cursing. Mentions of death and violence. Trapping others against their will. Amnesia. Dehumanization.

Eggs will befriend anyone if he's given the opportunity

_____________________

Forced restart initiated.

System reboot-t-ting-

“Oh shit.”

James wakes up to darkness, a soft voice, and no memory of why he shut down or of who is currently speaking.

Perplexed by the situation at hand, the android initiates a full diagnostic before summoning the logged status report. Finds himself staring at a completely blank section that holds nothing except for the word ‘error’.

That does not bode well for what the full diagnostic will return with.

“I did something.”

At the reminder that, despite having no knowledge as to why he was powered down previous to this moment, there is someone near. With an exceptionally low possibility they can provide the information he is currently missing, but the presence of an unknown stranger is certainly more beneficial than being alone.

“I don’t know what exactly, but I did it!”

With the full diagnostic still running, James focuses on the voice as it continues to speak unprompted, isolating it as a recording to be matched with a specific instance in his memory, provided that he has encountered it before.

Unfortunately, no such matches return, even as a brief encounter alongside another recording. There are no recordings to retrieve period. His memory has been corrupted.

With rather ironic timing, the diagnostic finally completes, presenting James a long list of external damages that will need to be repaired, along with a staggering amount of errors for retrieving proper information concerning key internal systems, including his memory chip.

In regards to the numerous dents scattered along his entire body, those can easily fixed and can even be left unattended indefinitely. The tear along his right arm and left leg will need to be examined in order to properly establish when they will need to be mended. It’s the crack in the chip that holds valuable information, including finding someone who can help him repair it, that is the most concerning and must be tended to immediately.

“I wonder if this thing takes AA batteries.”

Perhaps his unknown companion will be able to provide such assistance.

Checking to ensure there won’t be any issues powering on completely, James triggers the sequence to active all external systems. Immediately becomes aware of a less than ideal environment in terms of comfort before his optics have adjusted. Can feel heat directly hitting his temperature sensors claiming he will get dangerously close to overheating soon. Digs his fingers into the harsh ground currently digging into his back.

“Ooh, what if I hooked it up to a car battery and gave it good electric shock.”

The possibility that the stranger has been talking about him this entire time only registers now, leaving James with a rather foreboding feeling. It settles as his optics finally recognize the light surrounding him, thankful to see a bright sky rather than someone leering over with the want to scrap him for parts.

It is then replaced by confusion at the sight of a collapsed building surrounding him, slabs of concrete attempting to hide the sun and sky. With his memory corrupted, he can’t confirm if such a thing was meant to be made like this, though the exposed rebar and crumbling concrete is more than enough to persuade him it was not. Something caused a rather devastating change, and he is at the center of it.

“I wonder if I can find a bulldozer to-”

The voice cuts itself off right as James looks to his left. They continue to stay silent as he carefully searches for who it belongs to, leaving him rather confused as to why it seems as though they don’t want to be seen, as well as being unable to locate them, the area seemingly void of any intelligent entities save for himself.

At the possibility his hearing is still recalibrating and therefore misjudged the direction the voice originated from, James carefully looks toward his right, stopping when movement catches his sensors before he completely looked away. Locks onto something standing in the rumble. Something that looks extremely similar to the way he is designed, only on a much smaller scale.

The name ‘human’ is all his system can recognize, an error appearing when he tries to recall more information. Depending on the extent of the damage, scanning it may lead to complications of being able to collect information, but not retain or have access to it. He does not require a scan to be knowledgeable of how the human is feeling, however, the facial structure operating identical to how James is programmed.

The expression of fear unmistakable.

Considering just how small it is in comparison to himself, it is most likely wary about his size. There is nothing he can do to decrease their differences of scale, and James has no desire to accidentally scare possibility the only person around who can assist him. The best thing he can do is remain lying on his back.

He does move his head for a better view of the human, not wanting to be viewed as disingenuous by not addressing them properly. Unfortunately, such an action was not appreciated, the human suddenly running away from him before he says a single word.

Not the most optimal reaction in such a scenario.

James looks around the area to ensure there are no other humans around before carefully sitting up, pausing when a warning flashes concerning a tear in his torso. Looking down to examine the damage, he finds that his suit had been torn, leaving a fairly large gap in his synthetic skin exposed to the elements.

He would need to repair it, but there are no traces of moisture, and the internal components that are exposed are functioning properly. The same can be said for the gash across his right forearm and left leg. With the confirmation such repairs are not immediately required, he focuses on the human climbing through the building’s rubble. A building that upon further inspection seems to be much more suitable for someone of their stature rather than his own.

“P-P-Plea-ase,” James stutters, pausing to let his voice box recalibrate before addressing the running figure. “Please, do not be frightened. I have a few questions I would like to ask.”

They don’t reply back or give any indication his words were understood, continuing to climb to one of the various openings.

James watches them for a moment, taking note of the frantic movements and the genuine fear as they constantly look back over their shoulder. Despite the motion slowly them down and the clear exhaustion, they are admirably quick. Incredibly nimble as well, jumping over comparatively large rocks and sliding through small crevices. They have nearly made it out of his reach within a fairly short amount of time.

He can’t allow them to leave, however. He has no knowledge of what lies beyond the building, or if there are areas where the human can hide that would be impossible for him to reach. And considering their lack of a reaction to him speaking, it is more than likely they will disappear the moment they have the chance.

Before they get too far, James reaches out to grab the human. Sees the wide eyed look of terror when they look back as a powerful scream emits.

“No, no, no, wait!” does nothing to deter him, his fingers carefully corralling the small form toward his palm, pinning the struggling figure as they punch and kick in the attempt to free themself. “I don’t want to die like this!”

He admires fighting against an opponent that clearly outmatches them, but he would prefer to not frighten them to the point where they thought such actions were necessary, especially not under the assumption he holds malice intentions.

“I have no intentions to harm you,” James reassures as he successfully immobilizes the human inside his fist with only their chest and head visible, lifting them closer to properly address them. “I-”

“Yeah right!” is yelled with such conviction, it leaves James stunned for a moment, allowing the human to continue without interruption. “Where do you think I’ve been, living under a rock? I’ve seen what you’ve done, and I’m not letting it happen to me, Tin Can!”

Their struggling resumes, continuing the fruitless attempt to release themselves from his grasp. A feat that is impossible considering they are smaller than every one of his fingers and significantly weaker than any one digit. And yet they kick their legs against his palm with what little room there is, twisting their chest to try and gain leverage to bring an arm up.

Though admirable, it is rather concerning paired with what was said. As if James has proven to be a threat before. That he himself gave a reason to earn such fearful reactions, including running away once they realized he wasn’t shut down permanently.

Grabbing them possibly didn’t help in building his credibility.

“I assure you, I have no intention to harm you,” James reassures once more, opening his hand in a gesture he believes will be appreciated. Though no longer confined, the human emits a sound of surprise, falling onto their side in his palm before floundering in the attempt to right themself. “If I have caused any harm prior to this interaction, I sincerely regret such actions.”

The human’s mouth falls open as bright blue eyes stare at him. “Am I dead?”

A quick scan provides enough information to confirm he is not. “Though your heart rate may be elevated, there is no need to concern yourself at this time.”

“Nope I am definitely dead,” the human confidently states despite every indication the opposite is true. “I got a bulldozer, made a path to drive a car in here, hooked the giant robot up to the battery, and then got blown up.”

“What information do you possess to make such a conclusion?” James asks, curious more than anything.

“Because there is no way one of you death machines is just holding me instead of crushing me,” he replies.

Assigning James the title of ‘death machine’ indicates not only has his memory been corrupted, but his previously assigned directive has either been erased or is unable to be retrieved until he can repair his cracked chip. Consequently, any attempt to send in a diagnostic report and request assistance will not be possible. He will have to locate someone to assist such a crucial repair without any information on where to begin such a search.

The only person who has any knowledge does not seem inclined on aiding him.

Not wanting to lose his only potential ally, James lifts his hand until they are directly eye level, watching as the minuscule expression closely. Unfortunately, his actions meant to establish earnest intentions earns fear as the human lifts an arm up defensively.

“My memory is corrupted due to severe internal damage to my system,” James begins softly. “Any-”

“Woah, woah, woah, time out,” the human interrupts, holding his hands up as if to physically stop James’ words. The android obeys the motion without hesitation. “You don’t remember anything? Like, at all?”

“Information concerning operation has not been effected. However, any previously logged statuses, recordings, and prime directive is unable to be retrieved until repairs can be made.”

“Seriously?” the human demands as he stands up, immediately stumbling with a yelp when the palm proves to be a challenge to balance on. He manages to catch his balance before giving James a look of awe. “So you can do whatever you want? No need to follow orders?”

“Not exactly,” James begins, uncertain of the conclusion being gathered. “There are certain protocols I must follow, only my prime directive is unable to be accessed.”

The human narrows his eyes. “Sooo, no want to kill humans?”

“Correct,” the android confirms.

“That works for me!” An arm is then extended toward James. “My name’s Eggs!”

To say he fully understands how he was able to establish enough trust with someone for them to ecstatically introduce themself after previously assuming he would kill them would be a complete falsehood. However, James is thankful they were able to come to an agreement, as well as amused with such an interaction.

“James, model 1920-9-12-12518,” he responds to complete introductions.

His assumption they are now equated is proven wrong when Eggs doesn’t lower his arm. Instead, he moves it up and down pointedly while wearing a pensive grown. “You just gonna leave me hanging?”

It seems as though there is a common ritual for introducing yourself. “I am unfamiliar with human customs.”

“Oh we are going to be best friends,” Eggs grins. “See, this is called a handshake. Whenever you meet someone or make a deal, like you promising not to stomp on me, you shake hands!”

The moment understanding flashes across the looming face, Eggs realizes maybe he shouldn’t have offered to shake hands with a giant robot capable of holding him inside said hand.

But it’s too late now! Especially when he can see its other arm moving, and he knows better than to let the robot’s size trick him into thinking it’s slow. Oh, no, no, he’s seen these things almost teleport once they’re chasing after someone. He would know, because he was one of the people getting chased.

You think he wouldn’t be so trusting considering said mentioned scenario. But even though these things have size on their side, it also makes it really easy to tell what they’re thinking. Thank fuck they’re designed to look like humans, or else they’d have the greatest poker faces of all time.

Point is, this particular robot isn’t lying. And since Eggs, you know, watched it crash through a skyscraper before immediately shutting off, he’s pretty sure that’s good enough proof that something got damaged. Oh, and the wires hanging out of its arm! And leg. And the fact Eggs investigated the port in the back of its neck and rummaged around a bit to see if it would give him the robot’s plans for world domination.

He won’t tell James about that last part.

Despite fully believing this particular robot no longer wants to kill all of humanity, that doesn’t make the sight of a hand reaching for him any less terrifying. Even as it only turns into two fingers the closer it gets, those are two fingers strong enough to break every bone in his body. And they’re about to grab his hand.

Eggs forces himself to stay put, shoving away the overwhelming need to get the hell away from such a large limb. Though he can’t help the flinch when a thumb and first finger longer than he is tall pinch his outstretched hand. Correction, pinch his entire arm.

Brown eyes bigger than his head lock onto him blowing a large puff of air in relief when nothing cracks from too much pressure. “Does this complete the handshake?”

He genuinely debates whether or not he should teach the part where you actually ‘shake’.

...nah, this is good enough. “Yep! Handshake complete!”

Eggs quickly takes his arm back once it’s freed, looking it over to make sure nothing did happen. It’s not mangled, there’s no blood, and he doesn’t feel any pain so he’ll call this a win!

All of this is a win. He didn’t think he’d be getting an entire robot after deciding to investigate when it seemed like it wasn’t going to get back up again. The most he was hoping for were parts he could use to build his own giant robot, possibly even find something to use to hack into their systems and hopefully reprogram all of them.

But now he has an already built robot, minus the want to kill every human on sight! Take that self preservation instincts!

“Now that we are on amicable terms,” James rumbles amicably. Who even uses words like that? “Do you know why I was shut down previously?”

“Oh, you mean other than getting thrown through a skyscraper at mac 20?” The man shrugs. “Can’t say I do.”

The robot stares at him with a look of confusion. “I was thrown into this building?”

Man, this guy hit his head harder than Eggs thought. “Uh, yeah. One minute, I was minding my own business, running for my life, and the next I hear a giant BOOM. Turned, and then I saw the building falling on top of you. When you didn’t bust your way out, I came to investigate!”

Against his better judgement, he might add. But again, giant robot friend who won’t kill him on sight!

“You didn’t happen to see my assailant?” James asks.

“Nope. Didn’t have a good view from my hiding hole.”

Actually, now that Eggs thinks about it, that’s a bit concerning. Ever since the robots were unleashed, it was quickly proven nothing could touch these things. Not bullets, not bombs, not even missiles. So unless the military was hiding some secret weapon they only just whipped out to use, it shouldn’t have been possible for James to get used for target practice and lose.

Well shit. Either something malfunctioned badly, or something else just joined the war on humanity. One that’s either on their side, or just pissed someone was already here wrecking havoc.

Or, someone is really skilled at using a wrecking ball.

They’ll think about that later. Right now, he’s only just realizing how banned up James is. It looks like he got into a fight with a building and lost, badly.

“So, model 19 trillion,” Eggs begins, forcing the giant to focus back on him after looking away. Most likely contemplating the same thing he was earlier. But they’re putting a giant pin in that. “It seems like you need a mechanic my good friend.”

“Model 1920-9-12-12518,” the robot corrects, to which Eggs only smiles and nods because there is no way he’ll remember that entire sequence. “Is there someone knowledgeable with my system who would be able to make repairs?”

“Knowledgeable with you system? No, unfortunately not,” Eggs admits. “But, he is knowledgeable. If you can give me schematics, I can fix you up back at my place!”

Hidden and kept far away from any other robot who’s not reprogrammed and therefore take away any chance they have to survive this. Who would replace the broken motherboard and replace it with a shiny new one with the words ‘kill all humans’ written at the very top.

“You would be willing to assist with my repairs?” James asks, looking almost relieved. And that’s after Eggs admitted he has no idea what he’s doing.

“Of course!” the man chirps. “Anything for my new best friend!”

He sees the fond amusement, knows he’s got James in the palm of- wait, no, other way. Has Eggs in the palm of James' hand, and therefore will protect him from all harm. See, he can do proper analogies.

“I greatly appreciate it.” James then leans away before turning his massive head. “Which direction would your base of operations lie?”

Base of operations, he likes this guy. “That way!”

The moment Eggs points the way home is the moment the hand he became rather comfortable standing in suddenly turns against him, complete with him losing his balance as James starts to move, falling onto his back with a yelp. Before he can try to sit up, the fingers that acted as a rail guard curl in close to pin him down.

Hopefully he didn’t make the worse decision of his life.

Suddenly, James stands up, leaving Eggs’ stomach far behind. One look over the edge of the hand and his opinion on the thumb on his chest turns around real quick, thankful the towering being was wise to think about how fragile humans and tall heights do not go well together.

Still, he would rather get a warning before suddenly getting pinned. 6/10, won’t recommend unless improvements are made.

At the realization James hasn’t moved aside from standing up, Eggs looks up to see the giant robot taking in the scenery before tilting his head to stare directly down at the person being held. Huh, so this is what it’s like to be a bug someone caught. Absolutely terrifying.

“Does this building possess any further use?”

Eggs glances up at the crumbling ceiling that had been originally designed to be a wall. “Eh, to the birds maybe. But if we want to use it again, we’d have to tear it down completely and rebuild it from scratch.”

James doesn’t respond and instead takes a step forward, followed by another. Before Eggs can ask if it’s possible for the giant to not rattle his bones with every step, the giant is stopping in front of a wall of concrete.

Without a word, a fist is raised to punch a hole right through it like is was made of plaster. Eggs can’t decide if that is the most terrifying thing he has ever witnessed, or the coolest. Good thing James decides for him, punching the wall again to make the hole big enough for a giant to walk through, proving that is the most badass thing ever.

And now they’re free! Can go anywhere they want to go! As long as James continues to listen to the person outmatched by a single finger.

Going by how his new best friend looks like a lost Sear’s tower as he looks down at Eggs for directions, it seems like that won’t be an issue anytime soon. ”Do I continue walking in this direction?”

Eggs shoves at the thumb on his chest, grinning when it moves away so he can sit up. Stares out at the silent city from a bird’s-eye view before pointing toward a familiar building in the distance. “Yes, sir! Second star to the right, on til morning!”

“Humans utilize astronomy for navigation?” James asks.

The man wilts at such a classic reference not getting the recognition it deserves. “Nah, well. I mean, some of us know how to, but it was just a movie reference.”

The robot begins to walk through the street barely wide enough for him to step through without kicking any of the cars parked to the side. “Do humans usually make such references?”

“Ah, ah, ah, you’ve already asked a question!” Eggs exclaims, lifting a hand up to wag a finger at his confused companion. “If we want this partnership to work out, then we should stick to a quid pro quo bases.”

James blinks. “What exactly does such a bases entail?”

“Whenever I do something for you, you do something for me! And vice versa,” the man explains as he settles back down in the hand. “Meaning every time you ask a question, I get to ask one after. Sound fair?”

The robot thinks over his proposal for a moment. “I agree to this bases.”

“Awesome,” Eggs grins. “So! What do deadly robots do for fun?”

He thought it would be a good question to get the ball rolling. Besides, this is the first and possibly only time anyone will be able to ask these things such a question. Of course he’d like to know the important things like why these giant robots are here as well as how, but he has a feeling those answers will need to come later. After he manages to make humanity so lovable James couldn’t possibly go back to killing them once his memory is restored and then proceed to fix it later.

For now, he’ll throw in a fun question. One he has been dying to know.

Apparently James is as well because the robot looks a bit unsure on how to answer. “Androids don’t exactly have anything that would categorized as ‘fun’, nor would we have time allocated to such activities.”

Well that’s lame. “So you’ve never seen a movie before?”

“I will answer once you have answered my previous question,” James says, and Eggs swears there’s a smug look on the billboard sized face.

“Fine,” Eggs huffs. Crosses his arms as he flops against the robot’s fingers. “Some people enjoy making references to movies, shows, books, and video games, but not everyone does. Now spill, have you ever seen a film before?”

“I have not,” and ooh Friday movie nights are going to be mandatory. “Why do you refer to me as deadly?”

Well that was unexpected. He thought this would be a good bonding moment to learn about each other. Which it is, but it’s also the opportunity for a certain someone with corrupted memory files to ask questions that have most likely been piling up ever since he rebooted. He failed to realize there would be more pressing questions then what someone’s favorite color is.

Eggs looks up at James watching the ground to not step on a stop sign before glancing back at the person he’s carrying. The person who might’ve hurt his feelings by first running away, and by second continuously calling him a killer robot.

Do robots have feelings? Specifically ones that can get hurt?

“You have a couple of friends,” Eggs murmurs. “Who are complete assholes and may or may not have grabbed every single person they find before taking them to who knows where while wrecking every building they assume is hiding someone just to grab them as well and don’t always check to make sure no one’s in the blast zone when it comes crumbling down.”

He offers a smile up at James. One that says please forgive him for lumping this particular robot in with them, he didn’t know James was a good guy! It’s not his fault his friends, or possibly just coworkers, have been committing such heinous crimes against humanity.

It’s quiet for an entire minute save for the thunderous steps walking over asphalt, James looking everywhere but at Eggs as he thinks.

Finally, the robot addresses him directly. “It is your turn to ask a question.”

The man hisses through his teeth. “You okay?”

“I still require repairs,” James says. “Are you still willing to assist with them?”

Okay, one, it’s absolutely adorable how literal James takes all of his questions. Two, that right there is proof James enjoys his company, and now there is nothing the robot can do to get rid of him they are officially inseparable.

“Of course I am,” Eggs grins. “You might have forgotten about your reputation, but I didn’t, and I was happy to offer my services! Sorry, James, but you’re stuck with me.”

A smile tugs on the robot’s mouth. “That is good to hear.”

Eggs kicks at the nearest finger. “Which part, the me helping with repairs or you being stuck with me?”

He should’ve seen it coming, but the finger he kicked suddenly nudging him back made him jump in surprise. “Both.”

Fuck yeah, best friends for life! Just a man and his robot- “STOP!”

James immediately obeys, freezing the moment Eggs yelled. He doesn’t say anything as the man then carefully looks over the edge of the hand to confirm where exactly they are. Doesn’t even seem annoyed he was screamed at for a mistake the designated guide made because he forgot to keep an eye out.

Good news, they made it!

Bad news, Eggs forgot to give a heads up about a special guest coming over for dinner.

“Mind dropping me off at that back door?” he asks, pointing to the metal door visible from their vantage point tens of feet above every building within a mile radius. Looks back at James to see if the robot is happy to help him down, only to find a hand blocking his view as it reaches for him.

There’s no stopping the shrill scream as the same fingers that pinched his arm before for a handshake now pinch his chest, effortlessly snatching him up even as he tried to run away. He’s then lifted up before getting lowered down, down, down until he’s let go a foot above the ground, falling onto his back with a yelp.

Okay, that was his fault. He should’ve clarified what he meant by ‘drop off’. That’s something they’ll definitely have to work on.

It takes Eggs a moment to regain his breath, wheezing as he sits up. Nearly chokes on air when he sees James kneeling down in front of him, looking absolutely massive.

Eggs feels like a doll with the giant sitting among buildings that were sparred the wrath of bloodthirsty robots, especially when he waves up at those thoughtless eyes as they stare down at him. “Wait there!”

Without waiting for an answer, he quickly stands up, darting over to the door James literally dropped him next to. Knocks ‘shave and a haircut, two bits’ to prove it is, in fact, the Eggs Benedict in the flesh.

He hears the sound of multiple locks getting undone before the door opens to reveal a hand. Not just any hand, though. One that would’ve yanked him inside before he could say ‘hello, hello’, meaning Eggs quickly jumps out of the way.

“What the hell are you doing?” a voice from the darkness demands. “There’s a giant nearby. Get inside before it sees you!”

“Don’t worry, no one’s getting grabbed today!” Eggs promises. “I found someone I’d like you to meet!”

He half expects the door to slam shut. But no matter how many times Scott threatened to lock him out, he knows the older man never will. Eggs is too lovable to be abandoned!

That doesn’t mean Scott doesn’t have his limits when it comes to Eggs’ shenanigans, and considering James walked right next to the building, it’s not surprising the first thing the older man does is glare when he peers out.

“Eggs, I know you felt the footsteps. Get inside or else-”

He sees the moment Scott spots James, the man’s face going completely pale within seconds.

Before Eggs kills him with a heart attack, he clears his throat loudly. “Scott, meet James! James, this is Scott!”

The robot tilts his head slightly. “Do we complete a customary handshake?”

Oh shit. “Let’s do it later.”

“Eggs,” Scott whispers almost too softly for the person in question to hear. “You did not.”

Eggs beams. “I did! He followed me home and everything! Can we keep him, pleeeeease?”

Scott slams the door shut.

#alright new rule!#after I do a month long challenge I shall take a break for the following month #but as for the new year I present a new AU!#one that I HOPE stays a oneshot #but watch the Editor swoop in and demand I continue it as a chaptered fic #I do apologize for having disappeared for…fruit I think it’s been a month #but this was fun to write!#and I hope ya’ll enjoy!#have a wondeful week #and here’s to a great year #FNAF bois #g/t #giant #tiny #BTE writing #Making It Up As You Go #cw #content warning

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official-olm-posts · 5 months ago

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It has been a few hours short of one week since I started this blog, and it's been terrific!!! People are nice and I get to participate in all sorts of hijinks. Specifically I want to thank @maryland-officially, @walmart-counter, and @crane-detector for making me feel extremely welcome on the gimmick scene!!

#chitchat #for real though this is awesome #so thanks #i've been having a lot of fun even if my topic is UNSUAULLY NICHE #but that's a challenge for me to overcome #because i mean #if i end up bringing some awareness to olms that'd be pretty cool #and make my job easier because i'll get tagged in stuff #not to mention it might inspire some cool new art #very excited about the future of the blog #great first week guys good job

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oneminutefiftysixseconds · 8 months ago

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should i go and see challengers tonight yes or yes

#i missed saltburn at the cinema and i feel like it'd be a fun start to the week #challengers #challengers 2024 #haven't been to the cinema for sooooo long

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worldsokayestdragon · 3 months ago

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GreedxLing Week Day 1: Love Language

Read on AO3

Returning to Xing wasn't what Ling had expected when he'd left home all those months ago. So much had changed, it was hard to believe it had been less than a year since the first time he'd trekked through the desert with Lan Fan and Fu in tow, planning out his first steps for finding the philosopher’s stone and considering the best way to trick the emperor into believing he held the key to immortality for long enough for Ling to maneuver himself into power. Fu had advised him not to get too far ahead of himself, but Ling had refused to even entertain the notion that he might return empty handed. His clan was counting on him. Failure wasn't an option.

Now they were making the return trip with the Chang Clan heiress and a homunculus who until very recently had been coinhabiting Ling’s body.

Lan Fan had lost her arm, and as guilty as Ling felt for dragging her into the fight that had claimed it, she wouldn’t let him apologize. She insisted it was her choice, and one she’d gladly make again, and he knew her well enough to recognize that if he kept feeling sorry for her she…probably wouldn’t actually punch him in the face–because that would be improper and against her vow to protect him–but she would be seriously tempted to do so. He didn’t mention it again.

And they were returning without Fu.

They were bringing him home, of course they were. They could hardly do otherwise. But it was only his remains making the journey in the urn Lan Fan insisted on carrying herself, carefully checking and repacking it every time they stopped to rest. The old man himself would never again walk at Ling’s shoulder and offer advice that Ling was often too stubborn and foolish to take.

Ling wished they could have stayed in Amestris a bit longer. Just to take some time to heal and rest, to adjust to everything. But the emperor’s health wouldn’t hold forever, and if one of his siblings ascended to the throne before Ling’s return then everything would be for nothing. And Lan Fan’s new automail made it crucial to get across the desert before the summer heat could settle in and threaten to burn her.

Most importantly, Fu needed to be laid to rest properly, with full rites instead of the stopgap cremation ritual that Lan Fan had been taught as a child–because the life of a royal bodyguard was dangerous and often took one far from home to die. To truly let his spirit rest, Fu needed a real funeral. Getting that done as soon as possible was the least Ling owed to the man who had been like family to him, closer and more beloved than most of his blood relatives.

If Ling thought about that for too long he’d break down, and then Lan Fan would feel obligated to try and comfort him even though she’d lost so much more than he had. He couldn’t do that to her. He had to stay strong.

So he focused on easier things, like getting to know Mei Chang, and adjusting to Greed having a separate body.

The fact that bonding with the little sister he’d been raised to regard as an annoying obstacle at best, and a credible threat to his life at worst, qualified as “easier” was a testament to how out of control his life had gotten.

The fact that he felt the need to adjust to not sharing his body with the personification of a deadly sin was probably evidence that he’d gone completely insane.

He didn’t really know how to interact with either of them.

Mei didn’t seem to know how to interact with him either. She switched between regarding him with a suspicion that bordered on outright hostility, as she’d no doubt been taught to act around any competing heir, and a starry eyed admiration that came with repeated thanks for promising to protect her clan and offers to help him with anything he needed that frankly made Ling more uncomfortable than when she looked like she wanted to stab him. He didn’t know how to convince her that his commitment to bringing together all the clans was genuine and not dependent on her sucking up to him.

Also her tiny panda had bitten him like five times, and he didn’t heal as quickly as he used to.

And Greed. Greed was the same as he’d always been, probably, but Ling wasn’t used to observing him from the outside. He knew what the homunculus was thinking and feeling in any situation still, could make his stupid sarcastic jokes in unison with him most of the time, but that was just the knowledge of familiarity. He couldn’t hear the outline of Greed’s thoughts the way he used to, or feel the echoes of his emotions. And Ling was starting to realize that for as good as they’d gotten at communicating, their mental conversations maybe hadn’t been much like talking, because he found it difficult to put anything he wanted to say to Greed into words.

He wanted to say so much to Greed. He wanted to reassure him that they could still rule Xing together even if they were separate people now. Wanted to ask if Greed still wanted that, or if he’d rather find something of his own, even if Ling was scared of the answer to that question. He wanted to scream at Greed for being an idiot and trying to sacrifice himself, for lying to him, for almost leaving him behind. He wanted to beg Greed to never do that again, because Ling needed him, and missed him even when he was still here, and he didn’t know how he’d ever recover if Greed left him entirely.

Ling wanted to tell Greed he loved him, and that he thought Greed loved him too, thought he had felt it when Greed shoved Ling away to protect him at the cost of his own life.

But now that Greed was in his own body, looking like his old self and also an entirely new person to Ling, it was hard to be confident that he still felt the same, or even that he’d ever felt that way at all. Maybe Ling had been projecting, the confusion and emotion of that moment overwhelming him and making him feel what he wanted to feel from Greed.

Certainly Greed hadn’t said anything to indicate he felt that way toward Ling since Lan Fan had flung the philosopher’s stone she’d been carrying into the homunculus’s dissipating form and–in an alchemic reaction that Ed said “made no sense” and “gave him a headache”–Greed’s body from before he’d been merged with Ling reformed around him.

Greed had let Ling scream at him for lying, and being a self sacrificing idiot, and scaring him, had let shove him and also let Ling cling to him and tell him to never do anything like that again.

He’d apologized for hurting Ling, but notably didn’t say he was sorry for what he’d done or promise not to do it again. Ling had been a little tempted to stab him then, but he wasn’t sure how many times the incomplete philosopher’s stone inside him could heal him back up. He didn’t want to risk losing him again. (And, Greed had pointed out later, they’d need to “do the hammer trick” at least once to prove to the emperor that Greed was immortal. Ling had vague, second hand memories of “the hammer trick,” and he was sure they could come up with something a little less traumatizing.)

But other than the apology, Greed hadn’t really talked much to Ling after coming back to life. He didn’t even say that he planned to come back with them, just fell in step beside Ling as they headed out and asked how long it would take to get to Xing.

So Ling couldn’t know if Greed felt the way he did, and the thought of being wrong, of ruining the relationship they did have, kept him from asking. Every big, important thing Ling wanted to say to Greed got caught in his throat.

Greed didn’t say anything either. Sometimes it seemed like he was about to. Ling knew him well enough to tell when he was working up to being honest in a way that wasn’t just not telling a lie, a way that was hard for him, but he never followed through.

But even though they were completely failing to talk to each other, even though the silence was awkward and painful at times when Ling thought about how easily they’d talked and joked before, he couldn’t bring himself to leave Greed’s side for long. They were rarely out of arm’s reach of each other. Most often they stayed so close that Ling thought if it was anyone else he’d be freaked out by the invasion of his personal space.

It never felt like an invasion when it was Greed literally breathing down Ling’s neck, walking so close to each other it was frankly a miracle they didn’t trip over each other’s feet, sitting practically in each other’s laps by the campfire when the chill of the desert night set in. They’d given up the pretense of settling into separate bedrolls after the second time they’d woken up wrapped around each other in the sand between two unused piles of blankets.

But for all that easy closeness, they still barely talked.

Ling couldn’t bring himself to talk to Greed, and he didn’t know how to talk to Mei, and Lan Fan never liked to talk about things before she’d had a chance to process them on her own, so Ling hardly dared to interrupt her grief with conversation. It was shaping up to be the most awkwardly silent trip in history.

Except actually Greed and Mei seemed to have no trouble talking to each other. Half the time the homunculus wasn’t right beside Ling it was because he’d walked off to talk to his little sister. She wasn’t nearly as standoffish with Greed, and he apparently had plenty to say to her. They got along great, other than the first time they’d talked, when Mei had squealed “Mister Greed, that’s so—” and Ling had never found out what that was so because Greed had clapped a hand over the girl’s mouth and hissed something at her, ignoring Xiao-Mei biting his hand in retaliation.

Since then they had quiet conversations that cut off when Ling approached basically every day, and any time Ling asked Greed what they were talking about he just said “don’t worry about it,” or sometimes “wouldn’t you like to know,” which was the type of nonanswer he only gave when he wanted to keep something to himself without technically lying.

Ling watched the two of them conspiring or plotting or whatever it was they were doing, and had to firmly remind himself that he was not jealous of a thirteen-year-old who’d been forced to travel to a foreign country alone in a desperate bid to save the clan she was too young to bear responsibility for.

No matter how easily she got to talk to Greed.

Other than talking to Mei, the only times Greed left Ling’s side was when he’d seen something on the ground he wanted to investigate.

That at least was familiar. Ling remembered spending the winter trekking through Amestris, and how often Greed wandered off the trail to pick up a shiny rock or a weird shaped stick or a bottle cap with an interesting logo to shove in their pocket. Ed griped at him constantly for wasting time picking up trash, but that had never stopped Greed.

What was weird now was that Greed always looked at whatever he picked up critically instead of pocketing it and rejoining the group immediately. He twisted the objects this way and that, examined them in the light, and most of the time he dropped them again as if he’d found them lacking.

Maybe admitting to himself that what he really wanted was people to care for had eased his compulsion to collect whatever caught his eye.

(Maybe having Ling around was enough, even if it wasn’t the same as it had been. Maybe he was satisfied to have a friend, and Ling could be satisfied with that too, even if neither of them ever made a move to make it something more. Or maybe that was wishful thinking.)

The first time Greed found something that met his new standards, it was nearing sunset on their first day in the desert between Amestris and Xing. Greed split off from the group and came back with a rock worn smooth by the blowing sands. The sunlight shone on the rock’s surface, and revealed little clusters of sparkles when Greed twisted it at the right angle. In different lighting it would probably look like an unremarkable gray lump, but it was beautiful in the moment. Ling understood why Greed decided to pick it up.

He didn’t understand why, instead of shoving it in his own pocket as usual, Greed held it out for Ling.

“Here,” he said, looking at Ling expectantly. “Take it.”

“Um, okay?”

Ling held out his hand and Greed tipped the rock into it. It was smooth as marble, and warm from lying in the sun. It fit perfectly in Ling’s palm. He absently ran his thumb over the surface as he looked back at Greed.

Greed had a concerningly smug look on his face.

Suddenly suspicious, Ling asked, “Are you trying to make me carry your stuff so you can pick up even more rocks?”

The smug smile disappeared from Greed’s face.

“No, It’s–ugh nevermind!”

Ling watched, bemused, as Greed stomped away, as much as anyone could stomp over shifting sand, to talk to Mei. The girl patted him comfortingly on the arm and shot Ling a dirty look that he didn’t know what he’d done to deserve.

Ling tucked the rock carefully into his pocket for safekeeping, and then hurried to catch up with Lan Fan and offer to help her find a good campsite.

A few days later, as they were approaching an oasis midway between the Amestran border and the ruins of Xerxes, Greed once again found something he deemed worthy of hanging on to.

The oasis was one of the better documented sources of water on the journey through the desert and trade caravans came through the area regularly. They’d been seeing little bits and bobs that must have fallen off a wagon throughout the day. Greed had stopped to investigate most of it, but only found one thing he actually liked.

Once again, Greed carried his find over to Ling, this time keeping whatever it was closed in his fist as he offered it.

“Here. I want you to keep this. Not carry it for me.”

“...Right.” Ling decided not to comment on Greed’s weird behavior, instead just holding out his hand under Greed’s

A ring dropped into Ling’s palm, a black band set with a purple gemstone almost the exact color of Greed’s eyes.

The stone was fake, Ling could tell right away. He didn’t know if Greed couldn’t tell or just didn’t care. For all his talk about appreciating the finer things, Greed didn’t actually put much stock into how expensive or high quality anything was, perfectly content with costume jewelry as long as it was suitably flashy.

This ring actually wasn’t nearly as gaudy as Greed’s tastes normally ran. It black band was simple, etched with a subtle geometric pattern that was only visible up close. The single stone was large, but not ridiculously so, not something that was deliberately ostentatious.

Ling actually liked it, and maybe it was unbecoming of a future Emperor of Xing, but Ling found he didn’t care much more than Greed did about having only expensive belongings just to prove he could afford them.

Greed shifted anxiously, and Ling realized he’d been silently staring at the ring for long enough for it to get uncomfortable.

“Thank yo–”

“We must hurry, my lord.” Lan Fan called, interrupting Ling’s thanks. “We need to reach the oasis before sundown if we hope to replenish our supplies tonight and get an early start tomorrow.”

Ling knew most people would think she sounded perfectly respectful, as befitted a bodyguard speaking to her master. But he also knew her well enough to hear how annoyed she was getting with the hold up.

“Coming Lan Fan!” he called. Turning to Greed he added, “We’d better go before she decides to stab you.”

Greed looked a little disappointed, but nodded, easily matching Ling’s pace as they began to walk again.

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t really want to fight her.”

“Because you don’t fight women?” Ling asked.

Greed hummed in agreement and Ling rolled his eyes.

“That’s such an old fashioned attitude. She could beat you easily, especially if you do that thing where you refuse to use your full shield until you’re already losing.”

Greed looked at Ling like he was stupid.

“Of course she could. She’s insane. I guess you never met my ‘sister’ before she bit the dust, but she was fucking terrifying. And Martel was–” Greed cut himself off, looked away for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing. “Ed’s teacher took out my whole crew single handedly once. That Winry girl’s not even a fighter and she tossed us and Darius and Heinkel and those two Briggs guys out of her room like it was nothing. Not to mention your little sister being–”

“Wait,” Ling interrupted Greed’s list. “Are you saying you’re ‘not the kind of guy who fights women’ because you think all women can kick your ass?”

“I don’t think all women can kick my ass,” Greed argued. “I just think women who like to fight are more likely to kick my ass than men, which is not fun for me, and women who don’t fight probably have no idea how to because of stupid human gender rolls, so I’d feel shitty for beating them up. Also the one time I tried to fight Lust she backed me into a corner and slashed my arms off like ten times in a row while saying I should never hit a lady, so. Don’t really want to do that again.”

Ling burst out laughing as they hurried to catch up with Lan Fan, and ignored Greed’s protests about his reasoning making perfect sense.

He slipped the ring onto his finger as they walked.

He didn’t miss Greed’s pleased smile.

They reached Xerxes before midday, and decided to rest there and head out again the next morning.

Greed announced that he was going to take a look around the place. When Ling stood to go with him he added that he wanted to go alone.

Ling tried to hide his hurt and disappointment at that. He had thought they’d been getting a little more comfortable around each other the last few days.

He must not have succeeded, because Greed suddenly looked panicked and added, “I mean alone for now! We can go together later, that would be cool. But you should…rest! Because you need more of that than me. And you should let me find places that are safe to explore first since you’re all human now and…squishy.” He winced at his own word choice. “Okay, see you later, bye!”

Greed all but fled from where they’d settled in the shade of a ruined building, and Ling watched him go.

Greed was being very weird since the Promised Day. Well, he was always weird, but now it was obvious even to Ling, who’d mostly gotten used to his baseline bizarre behavior.

Greed almost never said what he meant, for all that he didn’t lie, but he was normally way smoother at talking his way around things. Smooth enough that he could even fool himself into believing his bullshit.

And Ling couldn’t figure out why Greed kept giving him stuff. Sure, his whole “I want everything” routine was just a cover for the fact that he couldn’t even admit to himself that he just wanted friends. Ling was able to tell that almost right away, once they joined up with Ed and he let himself think of Greed as something other than an enemy he had to resist.

But he’d never picked up on any real inclination to give things away, no matter how much he cared about the people around him more than he’d ever let on. He also liked having stuff. And yet he hadn’t kept any of the things he’d picked up on their journey.

Ling could hear Greed make his way through the ruined city streets. He was not gifted in stealth, much to the dismay of their traveling companions when they’d been trying to evade the Amestran military over the long months of winter.

It sounded like he was digging through the rubble and flipping stones too big for a human hands to easily move. Ling wondered what he hoped to find. The place had been abandoned for generations. Then again, most people left it alone rather than ransacking it, out of respect for the terrible tragedy that had happened here, so maybe there was something worth finding.

Ling was considering whether he should tell Greed to stop rifling through the remains of a dead civilization when Greed made a triumphant noise and the sounds of digging through rubble stopped, replaced by the sounds of sprinting back towards the rest of them.

Greed audibly stopped running just around the corner of their makeshift shelter and then strolled casually into sight. Ling very kindly refrained from laughing at the terrible attempt at acting like he hadn’t been rushing back. Mei had to turn away and disguise her giggles as a cough, and Lan Fan didn’t bother to hide her judgemental stare.

Greed looked a little excited and a little nervous as he walked over to Ling, though Ling wasn’t sure if someone who hadn’t spent a few months inside Greed’s head would be able to see that through the false air of confidence he’d put on. He was holding something behind his back.

Greed stopped directly in front of Ling and said, “I found this for you,” before all but shoving the hidden object into Ling’s hands.

It was a dagger in a sheath that had maybe once been brightly painted but had long since faded to the barest hints of a pattern. The hilt and cross guards formed elegant curves, and there was a blue jewel inset in the pommel. Ling drew the blade, and though it had long lost its edge, it must have been well made and also incredibly sheltered from the elements wherever Greed had dug it out from, because it was in remarkable condition for how old it must have been. It would probably only need a little bit of maintenance to be usable.

It was a beautiful weapon, but also a practical one, lacking in the tacky extra spikes and jagged edges that Ed liked to give things, and that Greed had often praised as looking “pretty sweet.” It was obvious that Greed had picked it with Ling’s tastes in mind.

“Thank you,” Ling breathed. “It’s perfect. I love it.”

He looked up from the blade to find Greed grinning at him, somewhere between elated and self satisfied.

“I don’t have anything for you,” Ling added, suddenly feeling guilty for taking so many gifts from Greed without offering something in return. “I could go find–”

“You don’t have to,” Greed interrupted, still smiling. “I mean, you can if you want. You know I’ll never say no to a present. But you don’t have to. I didn’t give it to you so you’d give me something.”

“Why did you, then?” Ling asked.

The smile slipped off of Greed’s face, but before Ling could freak out about making him sad, Lan Fan and Mei both groaned in frustration, in a display of synchronicity that Ling didn’t think boded well for his future well being.

“Ling Yao, you are so stupid!” Mei exclaimed. She sounded less hostile than he might have expected with that statement. Her tone almost reminded him of when Al would sometimes despair over what an idiot his big brother was.

“He’s not the only problem,” Lan Fan argued. “Greed, you need to stop acting like a child and use your words.”

Ling was officially lost. He looked between his three companions in hopes of finding a clue to what was happening, and was completely disappointed in that hope.

“Lan Fan, do you know what’s going on?” Ling asked.

“Of course I do!” she snapped before taking a deliberate breath and continuing in something closer to her normal calm and respectful way of speaking to him. Ling could still clearly hear her holding herself back from calling him an idiot.

“Ling, you are my prince, my lord, my future emperor. I would follow you anywhere, I would kill and die for you, and I know you will be a good king to our people. But I cannot deal with this foolishness another second. It was a nice distraction at first, but it’s gone on for far too long.”

She turned away from him to speak to Mei. “I'm going for a walk. Would you like to join me, Princess?”

“Yes, actually,” Mei chirped, hopping to her feet. “ I wanted to take a look around and see if I could find any surviving records of the types of alchemy that were studied here. Hopefully something that doesn’t involve human sacrifice for a change.”

“Wait,” Greed said, sounding slightly panicked. “Mei, you said you wanted to help me.”

“I did want to help you, mister Greed, but Lan Fan’s right. This is taking too long. You two need to sort this out before we get back, or we’re kicking both of your butts, okay?”

Lan Fan, alarmingly, did not object to the idea of Mei kicking Ling’s butt, and instead calmly walked away with the younger girl.

Ling looked back at Greed, who was staring after Mei like a man lost at sea watching his last hope of rescue disappear over the horizon.

“Do you know what we're supposed to be working out?” Ling asked, watching Greed's attention snap to him in a wide eyed stare. “Because I really don't want to get beat up by my little sister and my best friend. Actually, I think I liked it better when they hated each other.”

“Right,” Greed said. He took a deep breath and shook his arms out, his expression settling into something more calm and confident that was almost convincing. “I can use my words, no problem. I don't act like a child.”

“Of course,” Ling agreed, trying to sound encouraging.

Privately he had his doubts. This sounded like it was going to be a serious conversation, and while Greed has many strengths and good qualities, the ability to talk about serious things–or gods forbid his own emotions–was not one of them. He hadn't even been able to tell the difference between wanting world domination and wanting friends until Ling spelled it out for him.

Ling thought he might know what this was about, or hoped he did anyway. But he wouldn't push. If he was wrong it would be awful, and if he was right then it was best to let Greed try and get it out on his own time.

“I want–I mean I–you’re so–” Greed cut himself with a muttered curse. “Let me start over?”

“Sure. Take your time.”

Greed took a few more breaths, looking everywhere but at Ling, before seeming to gather the nerve to continue.

“I want to rule Xing with you,” Greed said in a rush, so fast Ling could hardly make out the words. “I mean, if that offer's still on the table. If I didn't screw it up forever with the lying to you and almost dying and making you waste that philosopher's stone to save my ass. I really hope I didn't screw it up?”

That wasn't exactly what Ling had wanted to hear, but it was still good. It meant Greed wanted to stay with him, and Ling wanted to rule Xing together too. That could be enough. It really could.

He refused to let himself be disappointed.

“You didn't screw anything up,” he reassured. “Of course the offer still stands. I thought that was obvious when you decided to come back with us.”

Greed shook his head. “No–well yes, but. What I mean is…we aren't sharing the same body anymore.”

“Yes, I've noticed that.” Ling agreed slowly, once again lost as to what Greed was even talking about.

“Right. Of course you have. Obviously.” Greed waved his hand vaguely, as if shooing away Ling’s comment. “So, now we’re two different people. I mean we always were, but like, legally or whatever. And, you know, normally if two different people are ruling a country together it’s because they’re together. I guess usually married, technically.”

Oh.

That was actually a bit more than Ling had been hoping for, to be honest. But Greed never did anything halfway.

Before Ling could say anything, Greed’s mind visibly caught up with his mouth. His face turned a very interesting shade of red.

“Wait, no, that’s not what I–” Greed waved both hands in the space between them, like he could maybe catch and take back the words. “I don’t mean we should get married right now! Or ever, if you don’t want. We really haven’t known each other that long, even if it feels like I’ve known you forever. I just meant–I really want to stay with you, and not just because I want to rule a country. So maybe we could date? Or something? God, I sound like an idiot! Forget I said anything, I’m just gonna go dig a hole and bury myself for a few hours. Or years.”

Greed turned away, and Ling just managed to shake himself out of his shock in time to catch his hand before he could make a break for it.

Greed could have pulled away easily. There was no way Ling, who was back to being an ordinary human, could have held a homunculus who really didn’t want to stay put. But Greed didn’t pull away. Instead he stopped like he was rooted to the ground. He looked down at where their hands were joined between them, then twisted his so he could interlock their fingers.

Ling couldn’t stop the huge smile growing across his face, no doubt completely goofy and undignified, and not even serving a purpose like the ones he used to put on for his airheaded prince act. He didn’t really care.

“I don’t think you sound like an idiot,” Ling said. “I want to stay with you not just to rule a country too.”

Greed eyes darted up from their hands to look searchingly at Ling’s face. “Really?” He asked.

Of course, for all Greed’s blustering self aggrandizement, he really didn’t think very highly of himself. Ling might be the only one to know the truth of that, so he knew how hard it must have been for Greed to come out and say that he wanted to be with Ling, without even hiding behind some convoluted speech about wanting to own him.

It gave Ling the courage to do something hard himself.

“Yes, really. Couldn’t you feel it when we were sharing a body?” Ling really hadn’t thought he’d been subtle, but Greed just tilted his head in question. “Greed, I love you.”

Greed gasped, looking at Ling like he’d just performed a miracle. He raised his free hand and gently, almost hesitanty, cupped the side of Ling’s face.

“I–” Greed started, and then gave up trying to talk in favor of leaning forward and kissing Ling.

It was a chaste kiss, just a brush of their lips really, and Ling wasn’t sure if Greed was being considerate for his comparative lack of experience, or if the vulnerability of the moment had made the homunculus feel uncertain in the action himself.

Either way, that simple press of lips felt amazing, electric in a way it maybe didn’t have any right to. A part of Ling would probably always miss the closeness of sharing his body with Greed, but now he realized that having their own bodies opened up a lot of exciting new possibilities.

All too soon, Greed pulled away again. He stared into Ling’s eyes, looking every bit as dazed and happy as Ling felt.

“I love you too,” Greed said, his voice barely above a whisper but the only thing Ling could hear.

Greed’s new old body was taller, and Ling had to reach up to wrap a hand around the back of his head and tug him down into another, deeper kiss. But Greed leaned back in so easily he barely had to pull, so that was okay.

Eventually they’d need to talk more, about what they both wanted, about how to frame their relationship to the emperor and the people of Xing so it wouldn’t hurt their chances at the throne. But all of that could wait. For now, Ling was more than happy to let the world fall away as he stood in the ruined city and kissed the man he loved.

When the girls returned to find them like that, Mei seemed torn between finding the romance sweet and being disgusted by her brother kissing someone. She landed on disgusted, sticking her tongue out and saying, “Blech! Do that somewhere else!” before flopping down next to her bags and pulling out a notebook, presumably to take note of whatever alchemical oddities she’d spotted on her walk.

Lan Fan still looked tired and sad, and probably would for a long time yet, but when she smiled at Ling he could tell it was genuine. “I’m happy for you, young lord,” she said, and her voice sounded lighter than he’d heard it since before she cut off her arm.

So much had changed since he’d set off for Amestris nearly a year ago, and Ling had lost things he would never get back. But he’d gained more than he’d ever thought to dream as well.

As he sat in the ruins of the city whose destroyer they had helped defeat, with his best friend, the little sister he never thought he’d be allowed to care for, and the love of his life by his side, Ling thought he’d be ready for whatever changes the future might hold.

#greedxlingweek2024 #fma #greed fma #ling yao #greedling #i love these idiots #write a freaking story without thousands of words of introspection up front challenge level impossible #I was like oh i'll just do a quick lil thing about greed's love language being gift giving #thats fun and ironic but also suits him #I guess they'd need to be in separate bodies for it to really work though. ill set it on the return trip to Xing in an AU where greed #got his old body back after the self sacrifice attempt #but then i had to address all the emotional baggage and trauma theyd have at that point #before i could convince my brain to write the dang prompt #your honor in my defense i am simply a yapper #writing a version of greed who has been forced to confront the mortifying ordeal of being known and admit that he wants friends is fun #because he cant hide behind 'ooh im so evil and badass and i want to own you all' anymore #and ive decided hed be incredibly bad and awkward at that #hes got no practice!#ive never written lings pov before #not sure if i got his voice right #ive also never written them separated like this before #i prefer when they're sharing a body usually. ill probably stick them back together for the rest of the week #anyway these tags have gotten out of hand and i need to go to bed #enjoy the greedling!

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