#it’s basically just a more ridiculous version of “did you just flirt with ‘x’ for me?”

[thecreaturecalledriza]

hear me out, okay. So Sam probably has a reputation for being smooth as hell right? Alongside being clever and tricky? But what if. What if he’s only a good flirt if he doesn’t really care about who he’s flirting with?

Basically, I just think Sam should be an absolute cat. 5 disaster around Izzy. Stuttering, literally tripping over himself, saying the stupidest shit imaginable without even thinking it through, getting tangled up in everything from the rigging to his own coat. Nobody knows what the hell is happening, least of all Izzy.

Someone (Paulsgrave probably) has to figure out what the hell has gotten into Sam and then essentially go court Izzy for Sam and explain the whole thing or nothing would ever get done about it. Sam gets better about it after Izzy is somehow successfully wooed by his utterly incomprehensible courting. But only a little bit.

[s10127470]

Thoughts on the Return of Ultimate Marvel

As some of you have probably heard by now, the Ultimate Marvel universe is officially returning for the first time in 8 years in the upcoming event “Ultimate Invasion”, coming this June. 

And while many people are excited for this universe to finally return after not being used for so long, there some, myself included, that are a bit more split….

But before I can explain that, let’s give a bit of a history for some more context. 

In late 1990s, Marvel had barely manage to survive bankruptcy by selling off the film rights of many of their characters to various studios. 

Around that time, they felt like a reason for their declining comic sales was because of how difficult it was for newcomers to get into their comics, given how many relaunches and runs they had going on, combined with the 60 years of history they had under their belts at the time. 

So as as result of this predicament, Marvel came up with the idea of doing an all-new comic run that would run adjacent to the mainline comics. 

It would revamp the iconic Marvel characters for the 21st century and help introduce them to an all-new generation of readers.

And so, Ultimate Marvel was born! 

Launching in 2000 with Ultimate Spider-Man, Ultimate Marvel would become a smash-hit! 

It helped launched Marvel back into the relevance and had a strong presence in the comic book industry, which was helped by other series like Ultimate X-Men in 2001, The Ultimates in 2002, and Ultimate Fantastic Four in 2004.

The series was successful financially wise, but quality-wise….not so much….

Ultimate Spider-Man was great and is often regarded as one of the greatest takes on the Spider-Man mythos. 

But the same can’t be said for the other series. 

A major problem with the Ultimate universe from the beginning was the lack of stylistic focus and cohesion between the titles and creators. 

With Ultimate Spider-Man, while striving to be somewhat different, Brian Michael Bendis still wanted to say true to the spirit and style of the classic Spider-Man comics, but just slightly updated for the modern era. 

However, most of the other Ultimate titles fell into the trap of trying to be too different from the mainline universe.

This was the result of these titles either being placed in the hands of writers who had a style that didn’t really fit with the intention that Marvel had for this universe, or just weren’t very familiar with the characters they were working it. 

As a result, this led to the universe being riddled with ill-fitting characterization and shock-centric storylines. 

It’s the reason why this universe is known as the one with the overly-edgy writing and where nearly everyone is an asshole (with some exceptions like Peter Parker). 

Probably the best example of this would have to be The Ultimates 1 and 2, which featured a reimagined version of the Avengers.

Written by Mark Millar (who had never written anything of actual good quality until about 2012), the Ultimates was created as a satire/commentary of the somewhat ridiculous Bush-era jingoism that plagued the United States not too long after the September 11th attacks, with the Ultimates being portrayed as a superhuman task force created by the government in order to defend America.

While not a bad concept, it really did not fit for a modern reimagining of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. 

Apart from the comic runs being made horribly dated through its political commentary and abundance of pop culture references and hard to read thanks to Millar’s formerly trademark style of writing like an edgy teenage fanfic writer, it featured undoubtedly the worst takes on the Avengers. 

The Ultimates were basically flanderized versions of the mainline counterparts.

Captain America was an overly jingoistic numbskull, Iron Man was a sleazy alcoholic who was almost never sober, Giant Man was an actual domestic abuser, Wasp was an abuse victim who constantly flirted with other men, and The Hulk was a literal monster who frequently engaged in cannibalism. 

The only remotely likable characters in those runs were Nick Fury, Hawkeye, and especially Thor. 

This was done as an attempt to make the Avengers more grounded and realistic….

Saying the Ultimates is grounded and realistic is like saying Star vs. The Forces of Evil actually had a good series finale.

The main problem was the fact there was barely anyone who you could like or root for.

And in all honesty, it seems that it was the intention while also…..not being so…..

Since there are some moments where they do want us to sympathize with the characters, but due to how most of the series comes off as portraying them as people who don’t deserve sympathy, combine with how unlikable they are, it makes the whole thing pretty confusing.

But other than that, things were fine for Ultimate Marvel until about the late 2000s, when sales started to steadily decline. 

A major reason for that was because the quality of writing of the titles began to somewhat decline, along with the Prime Universe gaining more prominence in the comic book world.

Granted, their writing was not exactly good to begin with, but it was definitely better back then that it was now. 

The biggest offender to this was none other than Ultimates 3. 

Ultimates 3 is unanimously regarded as the worst of the Ultimates series and one of the worst titles from the Ultimate universe. 

The run was written by Jeph Loeb, who was not very familiar with the Ultimate universe to begin with.

Plus he was not in the best mental state at the time, having recently lost his son and close friend to cancer. 

While Ultimates 1 and 2 were not….ya know…..good, but at least they were leagues better and had something to say when compared to Ultimates 3. 

Ultimates 3 basically cranked the overly-edgy writing style to the fucking max, literally being the only thing this run had to offer.

It was pure style over substance.

Along with that, it introduced some of the most infamous moments in this universe. 

With the crowning achievement being the reveal of Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch being in an incestuous relationship.

Yes, you heard me right. Quicksilver and The Scarlet Witch were in an FUCKING incestuous relationship! 

Around the time as well, Marvel began to feel that the Ultimate universe was starting to become too bloated and convoluted. 

Ironic how the whole point of this universe was be more simplified than the mainline universe.

So as a result, Marvel decided they want to do a clean slate for this universe and how did they do it?

With Ultimatum! 

Ultimatum is unanimously regarded as not only the worst storyline in the Ultimate universe and one of the worst in Marvel history, but also one of the worst comic books of all time! 

And it’s all well-deserved.

Long-story short, Ultimatum was about the heroes of the Ultimate Universe having to band together in order to defeat Magneto.

Speaking of which, in Ultimates 3, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch are killed by Hawkeye and Ultron respectively, and as a result, it drove Magneto to insanity. 

This led him to steal Thor’s hammer Mjolnir (which in this universe doesn’t have a magical enchantment to it), and combines it his magnetic powers in order to alter the magnetic poles of the Earth. As a result of this, it sends a massive tsunami that floods New York City.

Basically, Magneto wants to destroy the entire world as revenge for the death of his children. 

Ultimatum was an overly-edgy, cynical, and just flat-out depressing and mean-spirited mess. 

Undoubtedly the most notorious element of this comic were the deaths. 

This comic featured the deaths of many notable heroes and villains. And unlike in the mainline universe, death in this universe was much more serious and most of all, permanent.

Most of the time….

 Not helping was how many of the characters either died off-screen, in ways that didn’t make sense, or in rather gruesome and overly graphic ways. 

Some of the best examples include Nightcralwer drowning despite being able to teleport, Doctor Strange having his head exploded by Dormammu, The Thing crushing Doctor Doom’s head with his own bare hands, and perhaps the most infamous, The Blob eating Wasp alive. 

Seriously, what was up with the Ultimate universe and cannibalism?

The only remotely good things in this event was seeing Spider-Man going out of his way to save as many people as possible instead of joining in on the edge-fest and J. Jonah Jameson actually finally seeing him for the hero he really is.

Before I move on, I do want to bring talk about the X-Men real quick.

Out of all the heroes in this event, X-Men by far got screwed over the worst. 

In addition to losing more than half of their team and many of the characters associated with them (even including the Big Four of the X-Men), the origins of the mutant gene were also revealed to them….

In the Ultimate universe, instead of being a natural phenomenon caused by evolution that’s been around since the early days of humanity, the mutant gene was instead the accidental results of a failed attempt to recreate the Super Soldier Serum during World War II. 

Oh yeah side-note, the Super Soldier Serum was a major element in this universe, with often being tied to the sources of many of the heroes’ powers, most notably Spider-Man and The Hulk. 

But back on topic, this revelation has gone down as one of the dumbest twists in Marvel history. 

Everyone has already said it, but it completely misses the point of the X-Men and the mutants as whole. 

They’re suppose to represent minorities and oppressed groups who couldn’t help the way they were born. 

Basically, the Ultimate universe decided to turn the mutants into the goddamn Inhumans, minus the advanced civilization.

And more I think about it, this might’ve been foreshadowing to what would try to do with both teams in the coming years. 

Think about it. Remember during the 2010s when the X-Men’s existence was heavily downplayed and ignored due to everyone at Marvel being forced to do so in order to keep Ike Perlmutter happy, since he was being all huffy about Fox still owning the film rights to that team, while also constantly pushing the Inhumans.

I’m throughly convinced that he somehow read this comic, and as a result, it gave him the idea to replace the X-Men with the Inhumans. 

Anyway, Ultimatum left a nasty mark on the Ultimate Universe.

In addition to permanently killing off many characters, readers somewhat gave up on the series.

Although the Ultimate Universe did continue for another six years, it never reached the level of popularity that it saw in the early 2000s.

And even though this era of Ultimate Marvel was much more tame when compared its earlier years and especially during Loeb’s time, it never caught many people’s interest.

The only thing in that universe that was really worth anyone’s time was Ultimate Spider-Man, which remained great throughout its run and even its relaunch thanks to Brian Michael Bendis stick with the project until the very end.

And since many of characters were permanently killed off (some even before Ultimatum), they attempted to make up for that by introducing many new original characters to serve as replacements for the dead characters.

These included the likes of Jimmy Hudson (Wolverine), Ray Connor (Daredevil), Derek Morgan (Angel), Mach Two (Magneto), Monica Chang (Black Widow), Theodore Allen (The Blob), and Tyrone Cash (Hulk).

Unfortunately, these characters were met with a resounding “meh” and have gone on to either be killed off permanently or just flat out forgotten.

The only original character from the Ultimate universe that manage to make a name for himself and resonated with readers is Miles Morales, who took on the mantle of Spider-Man after Peter Parker was fatally wounded during his finale battle against the Green Goblin.

After about six years of not much to note, Marvel decided to finally end the Ultimate series with the Secret Wars, which saw the Prime Universe and Ultimate Universe crossing paths for the very first time.

It also saw the entire Ultimate universe being destroyed as well, with the only survivors being Miles, Jimmy Hudson (who get forgotten pretty quickly), and Reed Richards, who during the last years of Ultimate, became a super-villain known as The Maker.

Although the Ultimate universe was revived at the end of the event, the three Ultimate survivors have become main-stays in the Prime Universe.

And yeah….that’s basically the history of Ultimate Marvel

Ever since 2015, Marvel hasn’t really done anything with the Ultimate Universe apart from some occasional cameos and references.

But with "Ultimate Invasion", we'll not only be seeing the Ultimate Universe being utilized in a major way for the first time in nearly a decade, but it also possibly means that the Ultimate Universe might be returning for an all-new comic run.

And it does seems to be in good hands, with the two brains behind this project being Johnathan Hickman as the writer, who's already established himself as one of the best writers currently working at Marvel, and Bryan Hitch, the artist behind the first two volumes of the Ultimates.

And while people are excited to see the return of this once-influential universe, most people are curious on how it will be presented.

Continuity-wise, Ultimate Invasion will either be....

A. An direct continuation of where the universe left off.

B. Pretty much the same as A., but with some notable continuity retcons (such as the removal of Ultimatum).

As for tone-wise, that's where things get tricky.

One of the main traits of the Ultimate Universe was its overly edgy nature and use of shock value.

And while that may've been niche back in the 2000s, in the 2020s, that kind of style is generally looked down upon and seen as tryhard.

Not to mention people are just sick of seeing cynical and mean-spirited media nowadays, due to how over-abundant it has become in recent years. Thanks in part due to everybody desperately wanting to be the next Family Guy or Rick and Morty.

If they're gonna bring back the Ultimate Universe, it can't have an edgy and cynical tone.

However, on the topic of an all-new Ultimate run, a lot of people are hoping that the possible run that's spawned from Ultimate Invasion will be a full-on reboot of the Ultimate Universe, rather than a continuation.

And I wholeheartedly agree for a few reasons.

Trying to continue the Ultimate Universe from where it left off would be pretty difficult. In contrast to the Prime Universe, which had been continuously running since 1939, the Ultimate Universe ran from 2000 to 2015, and is only now returning after 8 years of hiatus.

2. Having a clean slate would do wonders for this universe. Ultimatum cannot be understated in how much it affected the Ultimate Universe. As I previously mentioned, many of the iconic heroes and villains were brutally killed and never seen again, and trying to continue the universe without them wouldn't feel right. Technically the Ultimate Universe already did that during its final years and it didn't work out well. Along with that, heroes and villains could actually be written like their other iterations but with some unique quirks rather than edgy, flanderized, asshole versions of themselves.

3. I think it's just time to give another go at an new Ultimate Universe. Next year, Marvel will have 85 years of history under its belt, and your telling me that nobody thinks trying to compress that history into something more digestible isn't a good idea. I mean, that's basically what the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been doing for the last....15 years?!

Good God, I am old...

And funnily enough, it was heavily influenced by the Ultimate Universe.

Well that's all for now. I'm currently planning on sharing my ideas for how I think a new Ultimate Universe should play out.

Let me know what you guys think about the upcoming Ultimate Invasion, and how you would do an Ultimate Marvel reboot.

[measuringbliss]

Comics Read-Through: Romeo (1)

So I immediately fell in love with Romeo's appearance in Astonishing Ice-Man #1 (2023) and decided I'd better check out his entire list of appearances, which thankfully is very small.

Spoiler alert: This post ends on a depressing note.

We're going to be jumping around a lot.

The first issue is a X-Men run, and coincidentally, I've been listening to Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men for the past few days. I've only listened to the first 9 episodes, but I think I won't be lost too much. I definitely recommend giving it a listen if you're curious about the X-Men comics!

All-New X-Men (2016) #13

I was actually surprised to see Bobby's sexuality at the forefront of this issue. He's gay and out now. He came out in April 2015's issue, so as you can guess from the title, not long before this one.

The art is very pretty, quite colorful and easy on the eyes. Very interestingly, Bobby says his idea of a gay culture is very outdated (and actually offensive according to the Internet). After all, he IS a younger version of him from the first issues, and not older current-day Iceman. Which is sad when you think about it, because any meaningful connexion Bobby might make in this time will be rendered useless when he comes back to his time, in the past.

Does that come from Top Gun? Hahaha, I should really finish that movie. I think I still have an hour left or something...

So Bobby finally lets himself go, and their hands touch... and Bobby cries and becomes Iceman right in the middle of the bar. He's ashamed and leaves and barges on... Romeo, naturally. They proceed to flirt, and are interrupted by a beautiful creature.

Really great art!

This is actually a friend of Romeo's, who calms him down, and then Romeo's fellow Inhumans arrive. Later, Romeo explains that he's an empath and can manipulate emotions. So this is basically Mantis. Okay! I'm into that, as a concept, because it can lead to great stories (see: Buffy S6). Bobby feels awkward about that, but...

I squeed. They're adorable!

That's how the issue ends, with the last sentence promising "Next: More Horror for Cyclops" which sounds like a sadistic fanfic writer. Hell yeah. But we won't be reading that, because...

2. Spider-Woman (2016) #10

Spider-Woman! We're reading other Spider-people comics before even meeting our first alternate one. Well, I guess technically we met Peter's clone? Maybe? I don't know much about Ben Reilly, but given we just finished (re)reading the first Clone Saga...

Oh, and did I say this issue is in the middle of Civil War II? Which is ridiculous because I've only read Civil War I.

No matter! The art style is pretty different, but I oddly like it.

Jess is on a mission to basically confirm Ulysses's visions, because she doesn't trust them. Romeo appears to take care of a new, old lady Inhuman who doesn't control her newfound powers very well. I have to mention that he's pretty ugly in this issue.

It ends with national news that Clint Barton (Hawkeye) just killed Bruce Banner (Hulk), and Jess is pretty pissed at her girlfriend, Captain Marvel (they're very lesbiany in this issue and Jess acknowledges it, I wonder if it went farther than this).

Let's shift back to...

3. All-New X-Men (2016) #17

Sooo... Bobby and Romeo are boyfriends, and the Inhumans and X-Men are at war with each other. Oops.

The issue begins with their 4th date, and Bobby slaps himself, thinking he should have kissed Romeo. And I'm like. What. exactly. have you been doing those past dates. if you haven't even kissed?!

But the concept of dates is very alien to me, we were actually talking about that with my boyfriend this week-end. I considered us boyfriend our very first date, where he had the option to go back home and chose to actually follow me home. I was like, "okay, we're boyfriends then" and we definitely kissed, I'll tell ya. But in *his* head, we only became boyfriends weeks later when I realized he was missing me while I was away. What a goof. I love him.

So 4 dates without even kissing? Gay kids? This is completely absurd but okay. Gotta milk that teenage angst.

The whole team meanwhile has been waiting in Bobby's room to tell him that, uh, things were going to get complicated for him and his boyfriend.

Then we get a flashback to their first date! They held hands, how wonderful.

And in the present, Bobby takes part in the attack on New Attilan (Romeo's home). Date #2 recollection! They play Laser Tag and Romeo argues those things are a relic of the past, but at least in my country, they're still very popular so what gives?

Date #3! They splashed in a Water Park!

Bobby finds Romeo in a safe room with non-combattants, which I find sad because I'm sure Romeo's skills have battle applications... but reassuring other people is probably important as well.

Well. I guess that's a way to make it important!

Together, they leave the place because love is more important than a silly battle with dubious motivations.

It's only reading the comments on a certain website that I understand that Romeo's called like that because... it's a Romeo and Juliet story. Duh.

4. All-New X-Men (2016) #19

I assume the issue in-between shows what happens aside from them. This is all definitely slower pacing than what I'm used to, not that I'm complaining.

I thought it would be a grand war final issue, but the blurb says the war has ended. Oh. Uh. Okay. You know what? Let's skim through #18.

It... doesn't help much, though. There's parallel series where the crux happens. Oh well. I sure wouldn't be satisfied if I was only reading one magazine. At least, if you're wondering, Bobby went back to help his team.

So, #19!

Who are you and what did you do to Romeo?!

So Hank sends the OG 5 to their past... but they discover that their originals never left. So the OG5 who were transported to the future will stay in the future (so, the present). Okay, that's a good conclusion!

Gee, I wonder what we're reading n--

5. Iceman (2017) #1

Tuuuuuurns out... This comic series features TWO Icemen: current Iceman, and displaced Iceman. Huh! I didn't see that coming.

We get a nice Romeo cameo, and Current!Bobby is called because his father is in the hospital. He didn't come out to his family, that sucks.

His family sucks, by the way, dear Lord.

Intriguing series, not sure I'll ever read it though.

So... that's it. Romeo pretty much doesn't appear anymore between 2017 and 2021.

So here I was, thinking it was intriguing, that story about the displaced X-Men. I had to find out what happened to Displaced!Bobby!

Turns out he does have a storyline with his companions in X-Men Blue and it's more or less... harrowing.

What's in red brackets is what happens in All-New X-Men (2016) #19. After that, it's X-Men Blue. Dear Lord. That's a nasty retcon.

So I assume that the next part of the Bobby/Romeo storyline is with Current!Bobby then. Oof. We'll see that in the next post!

[therainroguefanfiction]

Manager of My Heart (Yaku Morisuke)

This was written for the Can I Speak to the Manager? Haikyuu!! collab event. Make sure you head over and check out the other fics posted there, as well, and give the collab creator, @momochimo, a follow as well!

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Genre: Fluff, slice of life

Word Count: 2,064

Pairing: Reader x Yaku

World: Haikyuu

Notes: I’m not sure how I feel about this one. I like it, but I wonder if I could have gone in a different direction and made it better lol Hopefully you enjoy it and I hope it’s worthy of this collab. Thank you so much for allowing me to participate!

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You frowned at the application form sitting on your desk, filled in and ready to be handed over. The problem was that you were unsure if you actually wanted to turn it in. What you were sure of was that such an action would completely throw you off of your current path, derailing you onto a more hectic one. You knew nothing about sports either, but you did know one thing – everyone that played volleyball is certainly clinically insane. Even so, you had promised your childhood friend that you’d at least try and be social at your new school, and maybe this was the way to do just that. Maybe you could even come to understand your best friend more.

You had grown up watching Tanaka Ryuunosuke playing volleyball. He was obsessed with the sport but you just never got it. What was so fun about hitting a ball over a net? He had tried relentlessly to get you into it, too, but sports just wasn’t your thing. Still, you tried every single time because you wanted to make him happy. He was the only one who tried to befriend you as kids and continued hanging out with you despite your introverted nature. In a way, it felt as if you owed him.

When class came to an end, you gathered your things and slowly made your way to the gym where Nekoma’s volleyball team was getting set up for practice. You still hadn’t decided to join the team, but you at least wanted to check them out and get a feel for their members. You settled down at the top of the bleachers, pulling out a notepad so you could jot down your thoughts.

Your eyes scanned each member of the team as they entered the gym, beginning their warmups. Ryuu had given you the basic rundown on the Nekoma players already, describing them so you’d already know their names if you decided to join the team – which he encouraged you to do on more than one occasion.

The captain, Kuroo, was rumored to be a big flirt and Ryuu had told you to avoid him. Kai, the vice-captain, was often complimented for his kindness. He’s the only one you had interacted with thus far and that’s because he was assigned to show you around when you first transferred. Kozume was a close friend of Hinata and an introvert like you. You were sure you had more in common with him than with anyone else, but two introverts trying to become friends spelled disaster in your mind. It honestly sounded painful to you. Yamamoto was, from Hinata’s explanation, the Nekoma version of Ryuu, meaning he’s a total idiot who goes crazy over girls way out of his league. Then there’s Lev, that ridiculously tall first year. And…

Your eyes fell on the short libero, Yaku. To you, he was easily the most gorgeous member of the team and your heart started to pick up speed as you watched him. Why hadn’t Ryuu mentioned how cute he is? You had never been interested in relationships or dating, you’ve never even had a crush on anyone before, but it felt as if all that changed when your eyes fell on him. If you had to describe how it felt, you’d compare it to one of those shoujou anime that Ryuu’s older sister made you watch as a kid. You could just hear that cliche music playing, upbeat and romantic, the teen being surrounded by sparkles and flowers, shining so much brighter than the rest of the team. It was like you were seeing him through rose-tinted glasses.

You suddenly slapped yourself across the face. “What the hell is wrong with me? Get a hold of yourself.” You silently cursed Ryuu’s sister, wanting anyone else to blame other than your racing heart or your overworked mind. ‘There is no way in hell I’m going to sign up to be a manager just because of a boy. No way, no how!’ And yet… you didn’t stand up and leave like you wanted to. You continued sitting there, your eyes following his every move. He was graceful yet powerful, returning balls you didn’t think could be returned. You had this overwhelming urge to protect him, to protect that beautiful smile of his.

You were sure you were going to regret it, but you had finally made your decision.

You were going to become Nekoma’s manager.

━━━━━━༻1 Year Later༺━━━━━━

Today was an exciting day.

The volleyball team was excited to be taking on Karasuno and you were excited to see your best friend again. You had kept in contact, of course, but talking on the phone just wasn’t the same as seeing him in person. When you stepped on the bus, your eyes immediately fell to Yaku who sat at the very back of the bus. When he noticed you approaching, he offered you a soft smile.

“Good morning, Y/N.”

You smiled brightly at the sound of his voice, settling down beside him so that he was between you and the window. “Good morning, Yaku-senpai~”

“You seem happy this morning.”

“Is it that obvious?” you rubbed the back of your neck, a sheepish grin on your lips. “It’s just that I haven’t been back home since I transferred. I’ve missed it.”

He bit his lip, turning his face away from you. You still consider Miyagi to be your home and not Tokyo? What if you decided you wanted to stay instead of returning with Nekoma? He shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. No, there’s no way you would do that.

“Is something wrong?” you inquired softly, leaning forward to see his face but he just smiled.

“No, nothing.”

“Are you sure? If something’s bothering you, please let me know, senpai.”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” he reassured you with a gentle pat on your head.

You smiled, relishing the warmth of his hand.

“Y/N!” Yamamoto rushed to the back of the bus, a determined look on his face.

You quirked a brow at him, the smile wiped from your face. “Yes?”

“Don’t you dare go falling for any of those country boys!” he demanded, shaking his finger at you.

“That won’t be happening,” you scoffed, folding your arms over your chest. “Yaku-senpai is the only one for me.”

Yaku’s cheeks burned at the statement and he sent you a look. “You shouldn’t joke around like that, Y/N. People might get the wrong idea.”

“Hai, hai~” you chuckled in reply.

Crocodile tears fell from Yamamoto’s eyes as he fell to his hands and knees. “Yaku is so lucky!”

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When the bus finally pulled up in front of Karasuno high, the other team was waiting outside to greet you, the morning sun bearing down on them like a blanket of warmth. You were the first one off the bus, shoving Yamamoto out of the way in your haste. Your eyes scanned the students but you didn’t see your best friend. A blur of black and gray streaked in front of you before you felt arms wrap tightly around your boy.

“Y/N!” Ryuu screamed in your ear, spinning you around while you laughed.

Yaku frowned when he stepped off the bus, his eyes falling to the arms around you. You had always been a bit more on the reserved side but he liked to believe that you had opened up in the year since you became Nekoma’s manager. Yet he had never seen you laugh like that. What made this guy so special?

Yamamoto fell to his knees, more crocodile tears streaming down his cheeks. “It’s too late! Y/N has fallen for their country charms already!”

Kuroo snickered. “Did you forget that Y/N transferred from Karasuno?”

“Ah…” his tears stopped suddenly and he blinked a couple of times before jumping up, a grin on his lips. “That means that these country bumpkins were so boring that Y/N came to us!”

Ryuu’s eye twitched as he set you down. “Oi, what’d you just say?”

“You heard me! Y/N loves us more!” A streak of lightning sparked between the two males as they stared each other down.

You chose to ignore them, approaching the older students. “It’s good to see you again, Suga-senpai. Sawamura-senpai.”

“You, too,” Daichi smiled, ruffling your hair.

“Have you settled in okay?” Suga fussed, hands on his hips as he scanned your body. “No one is bullying you, are they?”

“As if we’d let that happen!” Yamamoto snapped back.

“You better not!” Ryuu replied, just as loudly despite being right in front of him.

Daichi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “One is bad enough, now there’s two.”

You and Suga just laughed, completely unsympathetic to the captain’s plight.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

You sat beneath the large tree behind the gym, the breeze ruffling your hair. Birds were chirping somewhere above you, not at all bothered by the loud ruckus taking place inside the gymnasium. As Nekoma’s manager, you should be inside cheering them on and taking notes about their performance, but you started to feel more overwhelmed than you had been expecting so you needed a moment to calm down and gather your thoughts.

“What are you doing out here?”

The voice instantly brought a smile to your face which you directed toward the short male standing over you. “I just needed some fresh air.”

Yaku put his hand on his hip, brow furrowed. “You’ve been gone for nearly fifteen minutes.”

“Has it really been that long?” you questioned in surprise, pulling yourself to your feet and giving him a bow. “I apologize, senpai. I’ll return to the gym now.”

You tried to step past him but he took hold of your wrist, his grip gentle but firm. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

The corner of your lips twitched up. “Hm, so you do care about me, Yaku-senpai?”

Pink dusted his cheeks and he quickly looked away. “O-Of course, I do. It’s my job as your senpai!”

You hummed softly, tilting your head back to look at the sky filtered through the leaves above. “The truth is… I really miss this place. I didn’t realize just how much until I came back.”

Yaku frowned, taking note of the sadness in your eyes – a stark contrast to the smile on your lips. He didn’t like seeing you upset but he was especially concerned over this piece of information. Were you not happy back in Tokyo? Did you want to transfer back to Karasuno? His heart ached at the thought and he realized he didn’t want to lose you. You had become not only a core member of the team, but an important person to him as well.

“Tell me what’s bothering you.”

His eyes met yours. “Don’t use that line on me. It only works if you’re the senpai.”

“I may not be your senpai, but -” you stepped toward him and he swallowed hard when you rested your hand against his warm cheek. “You’re going to be my husband one day, so it’s my job to look after you. I suppose the manager position entitles me to that, as well.”

He sputtered at your declaration, his eyes wide. “T-That’s not funny, Y/N.”

“Good thing it’s not because I’m not joking.” You removed your hand so you could press a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’m gonna head back inside. Don’t stay out here too long, okay? Nekoma needs their amazing libero.” You gave him a smile before turning around and heading toward the gym, but you paused before turning the corner, looking back at him. “If you’re worried about me moving back here, you have nothing to worry about. As much as I miss Miyagi and Karasuno, I found someone much more important back in Tokyo that I’m not willing to give up.”

Yaku knew you were talking about him. His face burned and, just like he had no control over his heart hammering against his ribs, he also had no control over the bright smile that came to his lips or the warmth that filled his body. To say he was relieved about this news was an understatement and though he may not yet be ready to admit his feelings for you, he was happy knowing just how much you cared for him and that you had no intention of leaving him behind.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

[bucky-hues]

bucky barnes fic recs

here are some bucky fics i loved reading!

many of these are 18+ and there are some dark fics in here, so please read the warnings for each fic! if any of the writers i’ve included want anything removed/edited, please let me know!

one shots

jack pendleton | @roger-that-cap

author!bucky x reader

moving into an apartment to get away from your last relationship was fun all fun and games until you met your extremely attractive across-the-hall neighbor, who makes awesome cookies and even better novels.

grip | @pellucid-constellations

bucky x reader

You knew Bucky didn’t like his arm. You just didn’t know how much until he accidentally hurt you with it.

voicemails to an unmanned inbox | @pellucid-constellations

bucky x reader

When Bucky takes an argument a little too far, you take off. All he wants is for you to come back home.

can’t get the words out | @pellucid-constellations

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky’s been awfully distant lately. You don’t think your heart can take what you know he’s about to say.

his everything | @likeahorribledream

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky has trouble talking about his feelings and he ends up pushing away the one person he needs the most.

eavesdrop | @bestofbucky

bucky x avenger!reader

things spies don't notice | @starrysebastians

bucky x avenger!reader

don't you worry (your pretty little head) | @babyboibucky

guitarist!bucky x reader

You agree to spend twelve hours with Bucky whom you just met.

suburbia | @wkemeup

bucky x avenger!reader

Posing as husband and wife, you and Bucky infiltrate a quaint suburban neighborhood in search of a Hydra hacker. Perhaps if you weren’t so in love with him and he hadn’t broken your heart, the act of pretending wouldn’t hurt so much.

sparklin' eyes | @19ana45

roommate!bucky x reader

Prompt: Character A’s current boyfriend/girlfriend/partner mocks Character B for their crush on their best friend, [A]. [B], feeling humiliated, withdraws from the friendship with [A], who is completely oblivious [B] has feelings for them.

reoccurring face | @swtbbybarnes

bucky x reader

he’s been around a lot lately, sometimes multiple times a day, and you’re starting to wonder how much coffee one man can actually drink.

falling for you | @comfortbucky

roommate!bucky

moving on | @bucky-bucket-barnes

bucky x reader

After Bucky had been missing for a year, you had presumed him dead. Time passed, yet you seemed unable to move on from his death. That was until a familiar face came to your doorstep one winter night.

bucky bitchass barnes to the rescue | @bucky-bucket-barnes

bucky x avenger!reader

In an attempt to escape from hectic life as an Avenger, you decided to go out on a date. Unfortunately, you got stood up. While Bucky hates you, he hates seeing you embarrassed more and decides to fill in for your M.I.A. date.

pansies, pain, and other things about bucky | @bucky-bucket-barnes

bucky x avenger!reader

You and Bucky are begrudgingly paired on a mission together. This is less than ideal considering neither of you are too keen on the other tagging along. All goes as normal until a surprise attack severely hurts both of you. Feeling incredibly guilty, Bucky helps you tend to your wounds. He has trouble admitting it, but he wants to make sure you’re safe.

the lost converse | @firefly-in-darkness

bucky x reader

Last nights party was a bit of a mad one, what do you do when you wake up in someone else’s bed?

nervous | @dailyreverie

bucky x reader

A nervous Bucky introduces you to his fellow Avengers during game night

fever | @dailyreverie

bucky x reader

a little old fashioned | @gogolucky13

bucky x reader

Bucky is a bit subtle in telling you he likes you.

sweetart | @onlyjamesbarnes

soft!bucky x baker!reader

your best friend bucky tries to stay platonic with you, letting you live out your dreams, but his instincts soon get the better of him.

the things you've done | @divine-mistake

bucky x reader

what if the world ended tomorrow and all he did was spend his last day with you thinking about how you never hold his metal hand and you never walk on his left side and you constantly reach out for his right arm?

do you still love me? | @thatfangirl42

bucky x reader

2:00am | @thatfangirl42

bucky x avenger!reader

miscommunications | @empyreanwritings

bucky x avenger!reader

cookies, kisses, and such | @sweetbucky

neighbour!bucky

pretending | @multifandomwriter

bucky x reader

Bucky notices you at a party and is instantly attracted to you. Steve instantly notices the lovestruck look in his eyes, but also his nerves that are stopping him from talking to you. So Steve plays on Bucky’s jealousy to get him to make a move.

good together | @irndad

bucky barnes x avenger!reader

bucky and his girlfriend are in secret, and they think they are absolutely perfect for each other. literally everyone else in the compound thinks bucky and nat are made for each other.

l-o-v-e | @irndad

college!bucky x reader

college!bucky meets reader in a library and it’s all downhill from there. He’s desperately in love and pining and it’s all ridiculous and he doesn’t think she could like him back.

tell me the truth | @bwhitewolfbarnes 

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky finds himself overhearing your conversation with his younger self, and he hates the way it makes him ache. He needs to know what is real.

the staring contest | @jobean12-blog

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky has a staring/glaring problem and you can’t figure out why!

lavender | @wkemeup

bucky x reader

Not every nightmare is the same and Bucky doesn’t always wake up as the man you know.

little lion man | @wkemeup

bucky x avenger!reader 

Sent on an assignment back to 1943, you encounter a drastically different version of the man you know

purgatory | @wkemeup

bucky x avenger!reader

While on a mission, Bucky becomes dissociated into the Winter Soldier. But instead of becoming a threat, his instinct is to protect.

i love you, you idiot | @chrisevansjellybeans 

bucky x reader

all the good things | @houseravenclaws 

bucky x avenger!reader

bucky’s been more than a little happy recently. sam thinks it has something to do with the pretty girl on the team.

tap | @houseravenclaws

bucky x avenger!reader

bucky never talked much. he fell in love anyway.

shaking | @clintbartonswife

bucky x avengers!reader

after you get injured on a mission, the usually stoic Bucky breaks, and you see a side to him that he’s kept hidden ever since his acceptance into the Avengers.

deserving | @hanoella 

bucky x healer!reader

When someone bad mouths Bucky in your presence, you set things straight.

keep me cool | @chouettedubois

bucky x avenger!reader

You and Bucky are on your third undercover mission acting as a couple. Things go awry when you fall ill. Cue caretaker!Bucky to the rescue.

on, off and repeat | @avasparks

neighbour!bucky x reader

i wished on the moon for you | @sunmoonandbucky 

bucky x reader

After losing Bucky, you were devastated. So when Howard Stark asks for volunteers for an experiment, you’re the first in line.

the hottest avenger | @watchmegetobsessed

bucky x avenger!reader

Being locked together with Sam and Bucky brings the worst out of you, picking on each other constantly. Following an arguement Bucky accidentally calls you his girlfriend in front of Sam when your relationship was supposed to be a secret.

hey daddy | @watchmegetobsessed

bucky x avenger!reader

You join Peter and his friends for a game of Truth Or Dare but you wish you stayed in your room when MJ challenges you to do a task that will definitely out your secret relationship with Bucky.

crash course | @watchmegetobsessed

bucky x reader

Bucky is a regular at the café where you work at and seeing him struggling with technology, you offer to help him, teaching him the basics while you are both thinking about taking it a little further than just a crash course.

little things | @watchmegetobsessed 

bucky x avenger!reader

missed chances | @soap-bubble-nebula 

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky is about to ask out the reader, but right before she could answer him her ex calls her up and she answers happily as she always wanted a second chance with said ex

truth or dare? | @soap-bubble-nebula 

bucky x avenger!reader

the experiment | @soap-bubble-nebula 

bucky x reader

make believe on christmas eve | @green-eyeddragonfanfiction 

bucky x reader

When your family insists you bring your [nonexistent] long-term boyfriend over for Christmas, you panic. You hadn’t expected to be put in this situation; you never thought you’d actually have to bring “him” over.

sick day | @nastybuckybarnes

bucky x avenger!reader

you tell a little white lie to escape Avenging for a day, and Bucky finds out. He’s hurt and upset, until he finds out your reason why.

spies and secrets | @barnesandco 

bucky x reader

Bucky buys a new jacket that is… uncharacteristically bright. Sam ribs him for it, and you- you don’t know what to do with yourself.

the bar rules | @buckyhoney (18+)

bartender!bucky x reader

the family lunch |  @buckyhoney​ (18+)

dad'sbestfriend!bucky x reader

forbidden fruit | @bucksfucks (18+)

dad'sbestfriend!bucky x reader

you attempt to set your ex’s things on fire. bucky has a better idea.

mr. brightside | @bucksfucks (18+)

ex'sdad!bucky x reader

the one where you fuck your ex's dad

left gasping for air | @bucksfucks (18+)

bucky x reader

doused with sex pollen, you & bucky are met with a difficult decision.

love me harder | @celestialbarnes (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

you and bucky have been flirting and screwing around for months now, after seeing him getting frisky with someone else, you decide to do the same and bucky’s just about had enough.

sweeter than sugar | @angrythingstarlight (18+)

chubbybaker!bucky x reader

look my way | @sableseb (18+)

neighbour!bucky x reader

boyfriend upgrade | @multifandomwriter (18+)

roommate!bucky x reader

You have always been close with your roommate, Bucky, but tensions start to rise when your boyfriend begins to stay over at your apartment. You feel like you’re drifting apart until Bucky accidentally sees you almost naked.

lure | @bccky (18+) dark

bucky x reader

it’s all about the perfect lure

plan | @sergeantxrogers (18+)

bucky x reader

“I was supposed to forget about you, and you were supposed to forget about me, but damn it if I could ever forget about you because since the day I saw you, you never left my mind and you were all I thought about,” he rambled, focusing on anything his eyes could land on that wasn’t you. “You’re… you’re still all I think about,” he whispered, voice tired and beaten, like the very sentence had been waiting in his throat for years just to get a chance to come out into the open.

play pretend | @wkemeup (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

When Bucky is injected with a substance that leaves him desperate for release, you offer your help.

you’re mine | @marveicinematics (18+)

bucky x reader

Having a secret relationship with a man as insecure and complex as James Buchanan Barnes may not have been the best idea you had, but one thing was certain: you knew how to make him feel better about the things that bothered him.

white lies and truth serum | @mariessecretfantasies (18+) dark

dark!bucky x avenger!reader

You and Bucky share a dance, a few too many drinks, and a night in bed together. Unfortunately, he neglects to tell you that he can’t get drunk.

bitter fruit | @divine-mistake (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

“The mission was already a success!” you say and you can feel tears burning the back of your eyes. You will yourself to blink them back. “You had the files, the base was set to detonate, I don’t understand why you didn’t just stay on the fucking jet.”

“Because you were going to die.”

always here | @simsadventures (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

You have an obvious crush on Bucky, and kind of hope he feels the same. But when you overhear agents talking about you, and then even Bucky, you realise there is no hope for you. At least you think there isn’t.

your captain | @onlyjamesbarnes (18+)

dark!bucky x reader, husband!steve x reader

a perfect anniversary night gets interrupted by his best friend, who happens to be your boss.

series/multi-chap

graveyard , sacrifice | @wkemeup

bucky x healer!reader

As the unofficial healer for the Avengers, you pride yourself on the ability to mend heroes with the touch of your hand. Only, your gift comes at a heavy price — one you keep secret from your friends —and when Bucky asks you to do the impossible, they’ll discover why your gift is called a sacrifice, too.

sunrise | @wkemeup​ (18+)

veteran!bucky x librarian!reader

After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is discharged from active duty and sent back to civilian life. Left with a storm of unchecked guilt, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you.

TiMER | @xbuchananbarnes (ongoing) (18+)

bartender!bucky x reader (soulmate au)

“If a clock could count down to the exact moment you’ll meet your soulmate, would you want to know?”

the match | @babyboibucky (ongoing) (18+)

ceo!bucky x reader

You come across your boss’ Tinder profile.

the holiday hack | @gogolucky13 

bucky x reader (modern au)

You ask Bucky to be your stand-in boyfriend for your family’s Christmas party.

sexual healing , medicine | @gogolucky13 (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

You ask a touch-starved Bucky if he wants to try something new in an attempt to take your minds off work.

vacant mirrors | @whirlybirbs (18+)

bucky x reader

shit's been rough. shit was rough even before the blip. dr. hart shares an office with dr. raynor, and you share with waiting room with bucky barnes. set before tfatws; a friends-to-lovers, slowburn, eventual smut.

salvatore | @nsfwsebbie (18+) dark

dark!bucky x reader

Bucky Barnes doesn’t believe in love anymore. Especially after the tragic, unknown death of his wife, Natasha. He thinks it’s stupid and a waste of time and- oh my. Hello there, you. There you were, with your notebooks and your novels, writing your heart away. He’s hellbent on saving you from this nasty world, his elusive neighbor that has him under the stupid spell of love. You soon find yourself trapped in a tragic love story with Bluebeard, not Prince Charming.

polyonymous | @bubblebuckys

bucky x reader (social media au)

You met James on Twitter three months ago, and you’ve talked everyday since. You really like him, and you don’t think you’ve met anyone like him. That is, until the fateful night that brings the Avengers to you. You meet Bucky Barnes, and then you’re stuck choosing between two guys so alike you find yourself asking why they couldn’t be the same person.

going live , offline | @ritesofreverie (18+)

camboy!bucky x reader

your new neighbour looks so familiar, where had you seen him before?

heavy metal lover | @mypoisonedvine (ongoing) (18+)

sub!bucky x dominatrix!reader

working as a dominatrix is never exactly easy, but a new client brings challenges you never expected.

fake boyfriend real orgasms | @bucksfucks (ongoing) (18+)

roommate!bucky x reader

when bucky needs a date to sam’s wedding, he makes a deal with you. when it starts to turn into something a little more real, you realize how deep you’re in.

almost had me believing it | @tuiccim (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

An undercover operation playing Bucky Barnes’ wife is a dream come true. Playing house in the suburbs while trying to take down a drug ring brings you and Bucky closer but a nosy neighbor causes trouble in paradise.

it's brooklyn, baby | @my-divine-death (ongoing) (18+)

college!bucky x reader

hush 1 2 | @starbuckie (ongoing)

bucky x reader

in quiet corners and selfish moments, y/n and bucky have kept their relationship a secret, one love that was pure and untouched by the darkness that surrounded them. but after bucky is able to walk the streets a free man once again, will their love be able to survive?

misconceptions | @firefly-in-darkness (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky Barnes overhears a conversation that he shouldn’t have…

what a night | @jurassicbarnes

bucky x reader

Bucky Barnes is out in the new world, navigating through everyday life and it’s trials and tribulations. His therapist insists he tries new things. He has collected a few new hobbies. But when it comes to making new acquaintances, what’s a better way to meet new people than a little dating site called Tinder.

hey, professor | @balenciagabucky (ongoing) (18+) dark

professor!bucky x reader

professor barnes always had his eye on you, you noticed it, your girlfriend noticed it, even his friends and after one raunchy photo sent to him, a joke, nothing more, in his world you become more than just a student

missing piece 1 2 3 4 | @likeahorribledream

bucky x avenger!reader

seeing red | @mypoisonedvine (18+)

bodyguard!bucky x actress!reader

bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

flight risk , no control | @wkemeup

bucky barnes x avenger!reader

Bucky becomes a flight risk after a failed mission and is put in lockup under Steve’s orders. Even though Bucky won’t say a word of what happened, you camp outside the door to his cell so he knows he isn’t alone.

bad match | @justreadingfics (18+)

bucky x reader

Bucky and the Reader are set up on a date, but things don’t go as well as expected.  

unbroken | @constantwriter85 (18+)

bucky x hacker!reader

Bucky isn’t happy about being paired with a snarky, untested hacker on a stealth mission to infiltrate Hammer Industries. But when the mission spirals out of control and they’re both captured, he finds out just how much heart his hacker has–and how far she’s willing to go to protect the lives of others.

if i only had a heart 1 2 | @chouettedubois​ (18+)

bucky x reader

Team Cap is back at the compound after being pardoned. Bucky is suffering from the shoddy work HYDRA did with his prosthetic. Tony brings reader in to fix it—and maybe help him find his heart in the process.

text me | @soap-bubble-nebula​ 

bucky x reader

Tony and the other’s are off on a mission, and it’s up to you to help Bucky get comfortable and assimilate into normal life. He texts you because Tony told him he could.

[ohheyitsokay]

pobrecito

Pairing: Javier Peña x reader

Wordcount: 2k

Warnings: none, pining, yearning, enough fluff to fill a couch cushion

Summary: you hide that you know Spanish long enough to accidentally sort of hear Javi fall in love with you

>>

At first you had thought it was a joke.

You were working in the Columbian office, of course you knew Spanish, but it was fun when people assumed you didn’t. Or really, you had to laugh because in truth, it was annoying and stupid and waste of your time.

More often than not, you stopped correcting them, stopped trying to explain your qualifications, stopped trying to earn the respect, and instead just shut your mouth and did you job. They always said – the more you try to prove yourself, the more your desperation just disproves your point, and it was true. Either the person would pay enough attention that they’d realize their mistake and feel foolish, or they weren't important enough to be relevant to your life.

Occasionally, there were exceptions, and while it was ridiculous to have things explained to you, but it was it was a fun insight to people. Do they paraphrase when they translate? Native, fluent, or faking it, hoping you wouldn’t notice? You had a little gringometer in your head that helped you laugh, at least. Most importantly, what information do they omit, when they figured no one could catch them?

Everyone caught on, eventually, faces burning red, eyes wide and sputtering, and that part was certainly fun.

Well, everyone in your department. Higher level agents rarely noticed, which was surprising because while you weren't one of them, you worked with them quite often.

You were even friends with them, checking in on each other during late nights and knowing the way they took their coffee, and vice versa. When you started to go out with Steve and Connie and Javier, and the others, you assumed they must’ve picked up and not made a fuss about it, which was more than alright with you. They were some of the smartest people you’d ever met, sharp eyes and minds and tongues, surely they’d notice. After all, they noticed your humor, thought process, and persona enough to invite you into their little circle.

Of course you were wrong.

It was a hot, loud, wonderfully chaotic night and you were all riding high on a minor break through. Enough to put the work down, to trade flickering office lights and coffee for the glare of bar neon’s and cool drinks. Your arm was tucked into Connie’s as she leaned on you, laughing as she told you stories from a brighter, happier, more wholesome world.

Javier was behind you, making your neck prickle like it wasn’t smoldering hot, his gaze sweeping over the crowds, piercing you when it touched your skin. You were acutely aware of him, you always were, since the moment you saw him stalking through the halls, filled with purpose. The twitch in his jaw, the narrowing of his eyes, the way his hands changed their grip constantly, as if they were trying to keep up with his racing mind.

It made you ache, how much you noticed him, and how little he noticed you.

Like a dog looking for crumbs from the table, you held onto moments, grasping at them in childish, lovesick desperation. Logically, it wasn’t much – when he handed the papers, joking about how you got confused when he tossed them onto your piles, when his foot yanked your chair out for you when you were tired – but you still cherished it all.

Even though the noise you could hear his voice, low and sarcastic, with just a touch of gravel, and it made you want unhealthy things. If you let yourself focus on it too much, it would probably consume you, filling you ears and mind and soul with thoughts of him.

So you tried not to, tried to listen to Connie, but you couldn’t help yourself from losing focus when you heard a man nearby talk about you.

The man was handsome, taller than most, warm skin and playful eyes, and he was asking a server if they knew you, if you were single. And you flushed, turning away before you heard him add to his friend, in deep, hungry Spanish, that you were gorgeous.

The others with you heard it too, of course they did, and Connie was grinning at you, wiggling her eyebrows too focused on forcefully whispering to hear what you heard.

Javier, his voice just as playful, his Spanish just as sharp, was telling the man that you were gorgeous, but you were not available.

Oh and you could’ve died right then and there, the shock burning through your insides more than the alcohol ever could. Then, because life is stupid and unfair, your mind snapped back into gear before your heart did and the logic was out of pure self preservation. Javier Peña was just protecting you, it was a courtesy, of course it was, because if he had wanted you to hear, he would’ve said it outright.

He didn’t even know you spoke Spanish.

You sipped your drink and for a moment you closed your eyes and forced yourself to turn that thought into something you could live with, something you could use.

He didn’t even know you spoke Spanish.

And then it became a game.

Surviving the weeks and months of sharing the same space what felt like 20 hours of the day was only bearable, only possible, if you stopped focusing on your aching heart and made yourself laugh.

More than ever, your use of Spanish became absolutely controlled. During long quiet moments of digging and slow processing information, you went out of your way not to speak a single word. You endured the dull, tedious over explanations, with the knowledge that you had a little secret. When the conversations were fast and people were spitting words onto the table you’d slide in quick, almost imperceptible words and phrases, the spanglish so organic you had to stop yourself from grinning. Internally preening every time, you ate up the moments you snuck it by him, by everyone, actually enjoying the anonymity that came with chaos and intensity and desperation.

More than that, you enjoyed listening.

Javi was speaking in Spanish more and more around you, so quiet and casual and thoughtful, it was impossible that he was tricking you. You wouldn’t put it past him, to tease you behind the language barrier, but it wasn’t that, not even close.

Because unbeknownst to you, he was harboring his own secret, nursing his own little crush you. You were gorgeous, but more than that, you were soft and smart and sharp all at once and he was addicted to it. He’d met his fair share of women, and basically all of then were pretty, but you made him feel hot and cold at the same time. Made him wish he had an actual home to take you back to, made him think about stupid cliché date nights, and… and you made him want to be the best version of himself. With you by his side he felt like he was able to float, saved from drowning in the corruption and the paperwork and the politics.

Javier felt like he was going crazy, half talking to himself, half to his friends when he began muttering about … well, you. It started when he heard other people talking, just defending you when you couldn’t (or wouldn’t, anyway) whispering that you’d proved time and time again that you were capable. And then it became something new altogether, as speaking about you while you we’re close became intoxicating. At first he watched put of the corner of him eye for you stiffen or to squint with focus, translating, but when you didn’t react, but now it was commonplace. A little escape where he didn’t feel quite as embarrassed to admit how much you occupied his mind.

Now you were stuck at an impasse.

It was flattering, exhilarating, even, to hear his defend you, praise you when he thought you werent listening. You heard his teasing, too, and how he thought out loud when he was annoying, and it felt almost dirty to eavesdrop on a man who was so rarely vulnerable.

The tension was pulling tighter and tighter between you, taught enough to snap with the slightest pressure, and yet the two of you were grinding your heels in. The others in the office had picked up on it, the way he was always adoring you in Spanish, and eager and attentive you were to his every move -how could they not be? So they began to push and pull at you gently, stretching you like taffy, seeing who would give in first. Surely if they provoked Javier enough, you would be able to hear the affection in his voice, see his gaze lingering on you as much as yours did on him?

Not that any office scheme ever goes as planned.

Javier was muttering about how you shouldn’t have to finish something for someone who was to lazy, and you, tired and off your game, didn’t realize that was a language you weren't supposed to respond to.

“Desafortunadamente,” you murmured before freezing.

There was shock and panic in Javi's eyes, but instead of enjoying it, for some reason it ground into you skin like a burr, annoying you.

“Oh, c’mon,” you said, fully turning to look at him, arms crossing. “¡Mi abuela corre más rápido! It really took you this long?”

Instead of triumph, hurt was coursing through your veins, it wasn’t fun that he hadn’t noticed, it was just a testament to how truly separate you were.

To his credit, Javier was putting the pieces together remarkably fast, all the moments he’d basically professed his love for you hitting him like bullets. Did you hear the time he’d cursed when you walked in on a weekend, comfy and cozy and so domestic he wanted to kidnap you? What about the time he’d told off the new guy from flirting with you, had straight up told him that you belonged to someone else without a second thought, and only a sharp pain in his heart?

You watched his face, the annoyance seeping out of you to make way for guilt as you remembered he had bared little parts of his heart more than once and your admission also meant that you were ignoring those, had ignored them for weeks.

Before either of you could apologize, explain, make any type of excuse, though, Javier was palming the back of your head, yanking you close and slotting his mouth against yours.

Kissing him brought the sudden awareness holding back from each other for the past weeks, past months was as ridiculous as long hours spent without food. Now that you had each other, the first few moments were so overwhelmingly needed that your brain could barely process it. At some point your arms must have uncrossed because they were wrapped around his middle, fisting the back of his shirt like you never wanted to let go. 

It was hungry, desperate, almost longing as all the words that could have - should have - been said were shoved to a place of non relevance as you sunk into each other.

Javier pulled back, unwilling to let you go or stop fully, he peppered smaller kisses on your lips as he spoke teasing words.

“We could’ve had this so much sooner.”

A grin stopped your kisses along his jaw, as you found your voice just as teasing, “Pobrecito,” you murmured.

A huff pushed into the air between you, and you felt his quiet laughter. And his forehead pressed against yours, surprisingly tender for such a heated moment.

“I don’t think so,” he kissed you again, suddenly slow, blissfully happy, “not anymore.”

<<

translations: 

desafortunadamente - unfortunately

mi abuela corre más rápido - my grandmother runs faster

pobrecito - poor baby

>>

Taglist: @fangirl-316 @scribbledghost

[slutdery]

I like my donuts with jam in the middle.

make a wish series.

A series (for each member of the unit) about their lines in make a wish (english version).

pairing | jaemin x fem!reader

genre | smut, fluff

words | 2.8k

warning | sex without protection (use condom pls!), sweet talk, kinda vanilla ig, softdom!jaemin, oral sex (f receiving), mature content.

author’s note | my native language isn’t english, so if there’s something wrong with anything i wrote tell me and i’ll edit it.

‘How can someone wake up every morning to work on such a sweet place and still complain?’ Yes, that’s  actually what your friends asked you everyday. If only the main public wasn’t kids, maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t complain that much. The place is always crowded, people from everywhere go to the candy store you worked. It was one of the best candy stores on the area, not any place had the donuts and the milkshakes your family made. ‘Oh, right! that’s why i still work there. My family own’s  this shitty store.’ you thought while cleaning the tables, after all the place was almost opening. Finally finishing what you were doing, you walked directly to the entrance door, switching the ‘closed’ sign to ‘open’.

🌟

“Sir, i won’t pass my number to you. I have the age to be your daughter.” You said while trying to organize the orders and hand them over to your cousin that worked with you.

“Ok, i’m sorry.” The man told you and walked away from the giant line that had in front of the cashier. You rolled your eyes at the gross dude, not like you weren’t used to that happening, but an old man? Made you want to throw up. When you looked at the line again you spotted a black haired guy at the end of the line, he was totally looking at you, you couldn’t deny it. He was hot. But not like the ‘hot common guys.’ he was like the ones that you never saw in your entire life, ‘Celestial.’ was the only thing on your mind when you looked at him.

“Honey, i don’t have all day. Please two chocolate donuts and one strawberry milkshake.”

“Sorry. That’s 10.35 dollars.” You wrote down the order and waited for the payment, receiving not much time later. After a few more people it was finally the hot guy turn. He was for sure from heaven, not just his black eyes matching his hair, nor his perfect nose and not even his incredibly pretty lips. It was all of this together, that made him the most handsome person in the world. You recognized him in the moment his eyes met yours, he came there every fucking day. Like it was his second house. He always ordered the same thing ‘donut with strawberry jam in the middle.’

“Gotcha. Donut with jam in the middle. Jaemin, right?” He smiled at you and nodded. His smile was the best thing you saw all day, other than his heavenly looks, of course. After receiving his payment, he giggled and got his phone out of his pocket.

“That may sound strange, but can i have your number? I’m sorry if it’s too, i don’t know, odd?” You were in shock. The hot guy? Asking your number? ‘This is a dream, right?’ you thought while blinking several times to see if it was true or not, and surprisingly it wasn’t a dream.

“I can’t give you my number now. But if you could wait until my shift end, i would be pleasured to give you.”

“Sure, no problem.” He smiled again and walked away, waiting for his order on the next counter that had other line. The rest of the day was simple, talking with some loyal costumers while they ordered for something or trying not to freak out with another ones. The usual, basically. Your shift was almost ending, so you tried to search for the black haired guy with your eyes, but there were so many people in front of you that it was a failure. Finally writing the last orders, you called it a day when you finished. You couldn’t stand children anymore, your limits were almost exceeding. You got out of the cashier and blew a kiss at your mom, making her giggle. You were too focused on trying to find the hot guy from earlier, it was a hard task in such a crowded little space, but you managed to spot him sitting in a small table at the back. You kept walking until it reached his table, smiling as soon as you saw him concentrated in some game at his phone. You sat in the chair beside him, drumming your fingers on the wood of the table, making all of his attention suddenly turns to you. Your heart skipped a bit as he smiled at you, a truly wonderful smile.

“Can i get your number now?” He said and looked at you, making you slightly uncomfortable by his gaze passing from your face to the rest of your body. It’s not like you haven’t done the same, it’s just that you weren’t used to talking, nor flirting with boys. Sure a lot of guys tried to but neither of them were enough to make you head over heels for him. Well, not like this guy did.

“Before giving you my number, i have a question.” At the moment you told him this you felt your cheeks burn from the shyness. He nodded at you signaling for you to go on with the question, but now you didn’t know if it’s the right time for it.

“By any chance, you ask for donuts with jam in the middle for... You know?” You suggested while doing something weird with your hands, trying to make him understand what you were talking about, but it didn’t worked.

“What?” He widened his eyes as soon as he realized what you were talking about, he weren’t clever but still wasn’t that dumb for not understanding what you were trying to say. “I’ll leave that up to your imagination, angel.” he finished biting his lower lips and getting his stare back to his game.

“I’m down. If that’s what you were trying to do everyday you came here, than i’m down for it.” You arched an eyebrow at him and licked your lower lip.

“Down for what, darling?” He didn’t looked at you while talking, making you a slut for his attention. You just wanted him to give you all of his time, and you didn’t even know him ‘What the fuck is he doing to me?’ you thought while straightening your position on the chair.

“Anything you want.” You stretched your leg to touch your feet on his, making him finally look at you, his expression was shocked like he didn’t expected this at all.

“Anything?” He locked his phone and put back on his pocket, getting his eyes back at you moments later.

“You know that i wasn’t joking.” You smirked, moving the rings on your fingers trying not to freak out after saying all those things. He wasn’t just looking at you, he was obviously staring, like he was trying to put all the things you said together.

“Oh then, would you like to go to my house?” Your eyes dilated at the sudden question. Thinking about his offer while still tidying up your rings.

“Sure, like why not.” He stood from the chair and gave you his hands to help you. You waved a ‘bye’ to your mom and left the store.

🌟

“Nice apartment.” You said while entering the not so tiny flat, of course, this side of the town had the best apartments on the area. Surprisingly the decorations were very distinct from the dark clothes he wore, white and yellow colors everywhere with plants all over the place. He grabbed your hand after closing the door, guiding you to his room.

“Mi casa es su casa, babe.” he said while laughing, making you laugh as well at his cringe phrase and ridiculous accent.

After getting inside his room you studied all of it. It was comfy and had clean colors, a pretty tiny balcony with curtains on the sides of the door. He sat at the end of the bed and pulled your hand to sit beside him, he didn’t let go of your hand in any moment, caressing your fingers with his thumbs sometimes.

“You know, you have a pretty smile.” You saw his smile again from the compliment, he got his head close to yours, his mouth next to your ear.

“Thank you, love.” He whispered and finally let go your fingers, his hand resting on your shoulder, suddendly pushing your body to lay on the bed, he made his way through the top of you while traveling his hands all over your waist. He got closer to you, he didn’t hesitated on making what he wanted, his lips weren’t so far away from yours now, being this close made you smell the scent of the softener on his hoodie mixed with his spicy perfume. Your hands were next to the bottom of his hoodie, trying to pull it off, rising until it reached his chest. When he finally realized what you were trying to do, he got on his knees and took it off, throwing it to the side. He quickly got closer again, the eye contact was so intense, making you just want to kiss him, but you couldn’t since he pinned your body at the bed.

“Are you sure about this? We could stop if you feel uncomfortable.” He asked while caressing your cheeks while still looking right into your eyes.

“Just kiss me.” His dark eyes slipped the intense gaze to your lips, making a insanely hot smirk form on his mouth. Now, he was closer than before, your eyes were already closed waiting for his lips to just attack yours, not much time after feeling his soft lips. His lips mashed against yours, like he wanted to destroy it, his hands on your waist trying to get you closer, he was so needy for you. His kiss was something else, you just met him but still felt so connected like he was the sun on your foggy day. Tracing your fingers on his abs, making him flinch from the cold touch of your thumbs. He slowly pulled away from the kiss.

“You’re so pretty.” He said making you open your eyes to look back at him. He licked his lips feeling the taste of your lipstick, letting out a ‘Hmm’ to the sweet flavor. He was still so close to your face, quickly getting his lips on your cheeks, leaving lots of kisses all over it making you giggle at the sudden action.

“Cute.” You moved your hands to his neck, caressing his scruff hair. You felt his body having shivering after the touch, laughing at his shocked face.

“Why are you laughing, brat?” His kisses got down to your neck, wet kissing and nibbling the soft skin, probably leaving hickeys too. Every time he breathed or bite on your neck, a low moan formed on your throat, making him gain even more courage to continue doing it.

“Fuck Jaemin.” His kisses traced from you neck to your collarbone, leaving a single hickey there and pulling his mouth away from your skin. He slide his body to the end of the bed, where your legs were. He spread it a little bit, pulling your skirt down, removing it a bit later. You let out a sight and a “I can explain.” while laughing.

“Why the hell you work without panties? Dude, that’s dangerous.” He laughed with you and moved his fingers from your groin to your cunt, softly touching your clit. The moment he did this your laugh was substituted to moans, neither loud or low, just normal ones from the unexpected touch.

“Shit, i wasn’t expecting that. Jeez, keep doing it.” He nodded and kept his fingers movements slow, he didn’t stopped looking at you even for a moment, he wanted to see all of your reactions. His mouth got closer to your pussy, pulling his fingers away and switching to his tongue. He kitty licked your clit at first and then he put all of his effort on his tongue. It was intense, his tongue was like you just got in heaven and it may sound strange but just in seconds you could say he was better than all of the other partners who eaten you, cause he focused on your pleasure and not his. He actually seemed like he was into eating pussy, it was tickling and incredibly good, you never had one like this. The waves of pleasure sending all over your body, like it was depending on his tongue to your body function. It was so good unlike anything you ever experienced, you felt the sensation not only on your vagina but in your whole body. The eye contact was essential to bring you even more close to your orgasm, such a great tongue, he wouldn’t stop until you cum for him. You felt light headed and your toes curled for the sensation appearing, a intense pleasure coming. Your belly warmed anticipating the orgasm, loud moans escaped from your mouth letting a “I’m gonna cum.” together in the middle of them. Finally feeling the orgasm hit in one of the last licks, your whole body felt the pleasure and you could only see stars. It was heavenly like.

“So fucking good.” You said while finally opening your eyes after recompose yourself. He smiled at you and took his belt off, moments later his pants and underwear were away too, making you secretly look at his pretty dick. It was so medium and thick, one of the most beautiful that you’ve ever seen.

“Like what you’re seeing, angel?” You realized you were staring too much, letting a chuckle out as you felt the heat on your face.

“Can we do it without a condom? I want to feel you.” You smiled at him waiting for a response which came not so long after. He nodded and stood up, grabbing your legs and pulling you to the end of the bed. He positioned himself in the middle of your two legs, he got one of your legs up, wrapping his hand on your elbow. With the other free hand he grabbed the basis of his dick and started pushing on your hole, making moans leave your mouth as the length passed. With all of it inside he started thrusting, slowly from the start, but as the time passed he fastened his movements. He was vocal just like you, every thrust you two moan in unison, it was indeed the best sex you’ve ever had. He adjusted himself to find a better position for both, getting the other leg on his shoulder. The moment he started thrusting again your eyes went blank, the head of his dick hitting your G-Spot every time, it was a pleasure that you couldn’t imagine that you could feel. He tilted his head from the pleasure he was feeling as well, it was so good and you felt so connected to him like you two dated for years and he knew exactly how you liked. Your loud moans made him even more horny, fastening his moves to make you cum again.

“Cum for me again baby, you looked so pretty when you came.” He told you and you couldn’t deny you wanted it as well, with all of the pleasure you were receiving from his dick hitting your spot you felt the tension being built in your stomach again. You closed your eyes anticipating for your orgasm, that suddenly hit you, you were sure he was going to get in trouble with his neighbors, cause your moans were so loud that echoed in his bedroom. He kept moving until he came as well. The hot load filling you entirely, such a great feeling. His moans were so pretty and hoarse, he was all you ever searched for. He deep breathed and pulled his length out of you, slowly getting in the bed again and laying by your side. You turned your face to the side so you could face him, a smile forming in both mouths. He got closer to you and moved his hands to your chin, leaving a warm peck to your lips.

“You’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen.” He looked right into your eyes and blew a kiss in the air, making you both laugh at his stupidity.

“Can i stay here the rest of the night?” You moved your hads to his hair and messed it more than already was.

“Of course, baby.” He tilted your chin up to reach his mouth, kissing your lips sweetly and slowly, still feeling the flavor of your lipstick sometimes. Pulling away some minutes later, making you look at him again.

“And you’re all i ever wished for.” You whispered and chuckled at your cringe phrase. Him from the other side smiled and kissed your forehead, he let out a “Ownn.” after closing his eyes. It didn’t took so long for him to sleep, after all he was exhausted. You closed your eyes as well and grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers together. After some time you finally fell asleep.

[writingletterstothefire]

reputation

A/N: This is a Hux x reader request I got in my DMs! Also, I wrote this on the Tumblr app, so I don’t know if there will be any formatting issues. If there are, I’ll fix them later on! I’m nervous, as I’ve never written Hux before, but I hope I did him justice! Your request is only part of the fic, but I hope you like it all the same. Enjoy!

Request from @bbarton : hi!! can i request hux x reader (secret relationship bc she has a lower status than him) where he gets jealous bc he sees someone flirting with her!! <3

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. He was cold, calculating. Officers and stormtrooper’s alike scampered away from him in the hallways. He knew what his inferior officers thought of him, and he used it to his advantage. If they’re scared, he thought, they’re less likely to rebel. And so, to ensure they stayed scared, he was more than happy to play the role of tyrant whenever the opportunity presented itself. If the new recruit fumbled and spilled coffee, he screamed at them in the middle of the mess hall. If a lieutenant failed to get a report in on time, they were publicly demoted. Officers were interchangeable in this profession, so as one was demoted, another was promoted to replace them. It sent a clear message: The Order does not need you. You are lucky to be here. You are lucky that The Order allows you to be here. It kept them in line.

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. He wasn’t known to be lovable and cuddly. Growing up, his father ensured that he never entertained the thought of a marriage based on love. From a young age, it was clear to Armitage that any marriage he partook in would be solely for the sake of siring an heir. Someone to continue the Hux line, ensure that the family name lived on past the individual. He definitely never saw you coming. You, soft and gentle, loving and warm. You, with a motherly embrace to rival the one he had conjured in his head. You took care of him, before he even knew what you were doing. Bringing him his tarine tea that he enjoyed so much, ensuring he ate at least two meals per day. At first, he genuinely thought that you were his new assistant. He thought that the Supreme Leader had assigned you to him without telling him, and who was he to question the Supreme Leader? But when he handed you a stack of paperwork about two months into your taking care of him and told you to transcribe all of the documents into basic and load them onto his datapad, you had giggled at him. He was almost offended, and he would have reeled back and screamed at you, if he wasn’t so entranced by the musical noise that was bubbling out of your mouth.

“Is...Is something funny, officer?” He had managed to choke out, his strangled voice surprising even himself. You smiled that wonderful smile, which he now realized was reserved for only him.

“No, sir, not funny per se, just...mildly amusing. I regret to inform you that I am not here to do Lieutenant Mitaka’s paper work for him.” You walked over to Mitaka’s desk, dropping the stack of papers there and writing a little note to stick to the top of the pile. Hux remembered purposefully looking anywhere but your rear end, which was poking out as you leaned over the desk.

“I beg your pardon?” Hux cleared his throat, cursing the hoarseness that lingered in his throat. Why was he suddenly becoming so affected by you? Perhaps it was because that was the first time he was seeing you. He’d known what you looked like, sure, but he’d never taken the time to really look at you. The way your eyes lit up when you smiled, the way your uniform hugged your body in just the right way to make his mouth water. The sheen of the lip balm you wore, glistening just enough under the fluorescent lighting of Starkiller Base to bring attention to those tantalizing lips.

“Well, it’s just that, you know I don’t work for you, don’t you?” Your voice had snapped him out of his thoughts, ringing through the air. You were looking at him, an amused smile on your lips.

“I beg your pardon?” He repeated, dumbly. He silently cursed himself again, before continuing, “If you do not work for me, then what is it that you are doing here, officer?”

“Why, making sure you don’t run yourself into the ground, of course,” you tilted your head at him, still smiling so happily, as if you were amused by his confusion. “Someone has to take care of you, General. I couldn’t exactly turn a blind eye when I noticed that you’d been skipping meal times.”

“And who do you work for, then?” Armitage was still confused. How could you have this spare time to constantly check on him? It made no sense.

“I’m part of the Cradle Initiative.” Finally, it’d hit Hux like a freight train. The Cradle Initiative was thought to be a joke among superior officers in the First Order. An old wives’ tale, even. The generation of First Order officers before Hux had often joked that the incoming line of soon-to-be generals and commanders were too soft. They needed to be nursed and taken care of. Cradled. And so, the newest generation of foundlings that the Order collected were put into the Cradle Initiative. These officers were trained to essentially be mother hens. They were taught how to cook, clean, and nurture. There were even some lessons on how to nurture children. Some factions of the Cradle Initiative were specifically to breed and nurture the next generation of the First Order. The rest were sent to First Order bases, where their job was quite literally to take care of everyone. It all made sense now.

“I see. So you...assist me—”

“—Take care of,” you interrupted with the ghost of a smirk on your face.

“—Take care of me,” he gritted out, “because you are part of the Cradle Initiative.”

“My, nothing gets past you, General,” you’d teased, rather boldly, in Hux’s opinion. Most would dive headfirst into the Tattooine suns before teasing a superior that way. “Yes, I was put on this base to take care of you and your fellow officers.”

Hux had nodded stiffly. Of course you would take care of him. It was your job. Nothing more than that. It was silly of him to ever entertain the idea—

“But I must tell you, General, that I check on you most frequently because I want to. I like knowing that you are taken care of. I like knowing that you’re not running yourself into the ground. I like being around you.”

From that moment on, you became Hux’s closest confidant. He would confide in you about Ren’s tantrums, and you would patch him up when the tantrums were taken out on him. Things changed, though, after you spent the night with him. It was entirely innocent, really, you had just fallen asleep while cuddling him after he woke up from a nightmare. He had those often, nightmares about his father’s abuse. At first, he was ashamed that you’d seen him in such a weak state, but the shameful feeling was pushed aside as you slid onto the bed and gently laid your hand on his knee.

“I’m here to take care of you, General,” you reminded him softly.

“Armitage,” he blurted out, “call me Armitage when we’re alone.”

You smiled and repeated his name, the word sounding too lovely as it fell from your lips. He couldn’t help himself. He kissed you. And you had kissed him back. You’d wrapped your arms around him and laid with him the entire night.

That night changed everything. You both knew that if anyone knew of your relationship, it would change how you were viewed. The officers of the Cradle Initiative already had a reputation for essentially being prostitutes. They were often ridiculed, and told that they were there to be bred with and that’s it. You’d be publicly humiliated if anyone knew you were in a relationship with the highest ranking general of the First Order. So you had to hide. And then there was the most important reason.

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. He couldn’t risk his officers thinking he had gone soft. There was too much at stake, and he needed to have their complete respect and loyalty.

But then he saw that damned Lieutenant Trecol Verstan. Verstan was a thorn in Hux’s side from the very beginning, constantly questioning and defying his orders. He was one misstep away from being demoted to janitorial staff. And it appeared that he would be making that misstep today.

Upon entering the somewhat crowded command center, Hux’s eyes immediately zeroed in on you, and he saw red. Verstan was currently leaned up against the wall, his arm caging you in as he chattered into about Maker knows what. He was likely telling a highly fictionalized version of his last mission, during which he hid on the ship while the stormtroopers assigned to help him gathered Resistance sympathizers and took them hostage. You were smiling, but it was a thin smile, as if Verstan was testing your patience. Because, he was. You were struggling to come up with a solid enough reason to walk away, when you felt a familiar presence sidle up next to you.

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold.

“Is there a problem, Officer Verstan?” Hux asked, purposefully using the wrong title to refer to the man.

“Lieutenant,” Verstan insisted, huffing in annoyance.

“Yes, well, I don’t think my fiancée needs to hear anymore about your cowardice on Kijimi, Officer Verstan.” Your head snapped to stare at Armitage, jaw dropping a bit.

You saw Verstan’s jaw drop even further than yours did, immediately growing bright red and backing away quickly.

“I-I had no idea, General Hux, if I had known I never would have—”

“Harassed a fellow officer? I’m sure that wouldn’t have stopped you, Officer Verstan.” Hux’s tone was even, almost dangerously so.

“L-Lieutenant...” Verstan muttered under his breath, clearly embarrassed at being degraded in front of his fellow officers and superiors.

“No, no. You’ve been demoted. Between harassing a fellow officer, and your performance on Kijimi, which was nothing short of disgraceful, you’ve made it clear that you do not deserve the title and responsibilities that come with the lieutenant position. You will now be an officer, acting under the guidance of Lieutenant Mitaka. I suppose, in a way, due to the pecking order on this base, that means you work under me. Well, that is to say that I am your superior’s superior. How nice.” Hux looked the most amused anyone, aside from you, had ever seen him.

He turned to you, about to speak, before realizing that Verstan was still standing there, gaping like a fish. “Are you still here, Officer?”

Verstans ears burned red as he scurried away, hurrying out of the command center.

You were still staring up at Hux, eyes wide and shining. He turned back to you, stepping close and murmuring an, “Are you alright, my love?”

You were so unused to him openly showing any care for you, for reasons you both agreed on. He kept his hands clasped behind his back, but you were now standing toe to toe, close enough to kiss him. You wouldn’t, because you didn’t know where his boundaries were right now, but the thought did cross your mind.

“I’m alright. Thank you for that. I’m sorry I couldn’t get rid of him.” You felt his breath fan across your face as he sighed.

“My darling, I could never be upset with you. You have my complete trust.”

You smiled softly at that. You knew he loved you, of course, but to hear that he trusted you always felt good.

“I know,” you spoke softly, “I know you trust me, and I trust you. With my life, Armitage.”

As he was about to close the gap between you, he realized that the command center was quiet. Too quiet. He lifted his gaze from yours to see that everyone in the command center had frozen during the exchange with Verstan, and they were still watching with intrigue. Some looked absolutely astonished, while others had knowing smirks.

“Unless you are all looking to join Verstan in his demotion, I suggest you get back to work.” His voice was calm enough, but he spoke with such a commanding tone that everyone in the command center scrambled to look busy. Those that could find an excuse scurried out of the room entirely.

Hux led you out of the command center, hands still behind his back, but your hand loosely nestled in the crook of his elbow. Everyone would know within the hour, what did it matter now? There was no point in trying to hide anymore, he thought to himself, as he guided you into his quarters. Your quarters too, he supposed. You basically lived with him at this point.

“So fiancée, huh?” Your teasing voice had his attention snapping back to you in an instant. While he was lost in thought, you have perched yourself on the small loveseat that sat to the left of center in his quarters, next to the electric fireplace. “When were you planning to ask me about this? Where’s my ring, Armitage?”

You were joking, and he knew you were only teasing him to make him blush. You loved being the only one able to fluster him. Still, he turned away from you, walking into the bedroom and digging through the nightstand. He emerged before you could even question him, and walked over so quickly that you didn’t even register it until he was on one knee in front of you, breathing your name in that soft way that was reserved only for you.

“My love,” he began, “I never thought I would find anyone like you. I assumed that I would never marry for love, it would simply be an arrangement of convenience. But when I met you, I knew that the tightness in my chest was love. I knew that the lightheadedness that set in whenever you smiled at me was love. I knew that the feeling of something missing whenever you left the room was love. I love you. And at first, that terrified me. I didn’t want anyone to hold the power over me that you hold. But when you held me through the night after witnessing one of my lowest moments, I knew you would never abuse that power. You’ve proven time and time again that you love me just as much as I love you. There is no one else that I could fathom a life with. There is no one else I could love. There is only you. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

You were crying now. You had been joking around before, but now, with Armitage on one knee in front of you, you knew that you’d never say no to him. “Yes! Yes, Armitage, yes!”

You waited until he slipped the ring onto your finger before launching yourself at him, holding him tighter than he’d ever been held.

“I love you, so much, Armitage,” you cried into his neck. His arms wrapped around you, one hand tangling in your hair.

“I love you, my darling.”

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. Everyone knew who he was, and everyone was terrified of him. After news of your engagement broke, everyone knew not to touch you. Those who’d seen what happened with Verstan were most likely to stay away. About a week later, there was an incident with a newly recruited officer who thought perhaps they could charm you into cheating on Hux, reaching out to try to feel you up, but before Hux could even think to do anything, you had the offending arm pinned behind the officer’s back. Armitage had never been prouder.

General Armitage Hux had a reputation to uphold. And you, as his fiancée, took it upon yourself to ensure that reputation stayed intact.

[whispelanix]

Gameplay features we should have in a future Fallout title

Based on what we’ve had in previous games. Just some random storyline stuff and game stuff I’ve enjoyed so far:

Regions (Fallout 4, 76): Yes, I know every game has regions, but I'm talking about the difference in how life grows in certain areas and the level of radiation in said area kind of thing. The regions in 76 have so much personality. Fallout 4 only had the Commonwealth/Glowing Sea as its base game regions in how nature has evolved, but in 76 it's so diverse. Different mutated creatures are more native to different areas, and it has the flora to go alongside with it.

Plans (Fallout 76): Yeah, most of the 3D Fallout games has a few schematics for some weapons, and maybe a small variety of unique consumables, but I like how 76 makes you actually work and spend caps for Plans in order to know how to make something new. Not just weapons, but food, drinks, armor, workshop, etc. Because if this was real life, you wouldn't magically know how to make everything all of a sudden. They keep basic knowledge food items like deathclaw steak, which you can just cook up, as recipes you already know and you find recipes for more "advanced" dishes, and I really enjoy that.

Consumables System (Fallout 76): The amount of variety you have in regards to consumables in this game is amazing. There's so many mutated animals to cook up, so many plants to make soup, and you can make tea and even make juice out of something like mutfruit. I also love the additions we can put into consumables now (sugar, salt, pepper, honey, and we FINALLY have milk). So what they gave us in Fallout 4 with the better cooking aspects has been taken to new heights. Your food spoils now, and boiling water doesn't purify it, it just makes it boiled, which means you NEED a purifier to make it clean.

Eating/Drinking consumables without using Pip-Boy (Fallout 76): This is extremely useful, especially in an online game, and I think it'd work well in single player as well. You no longer have to hoard a bunch of stuff to just eat it, you now have the option to eat it on the spot as well, and move on with your life.

Layered Armor System and the ability to wear costumes over them (Fallout 4, 76): Fallout 4 introduced to us the layered armor system, which is one of the greatest things we've been given in regards to customizing outfits in the game, and now with Fallout 76 we have two different outfit options, armor and clothing. Now, not only can we wear underarmor and armor over it to protect us, but we now have coveralls as well to do so in style whilst retaining the effects of whatever else we wear underneath it.

Distant Weather Systems (Fallout 76): Pretty self explanatory - the ability to see storms coming from a distance as well as nuclear explosions along the horizon is pretty great if you ask me.

Faction Reputation (New Vegas, Fallout 76): I really like these features, because let's be honest, you can't stay on everyone's good side forever. There was only one case of this in Fallout 4, and that was the "You are now enemies with X faction". That ain't good enough. If we could get a mix of the faction reputation system in NV/76, I would be very pleased.

Karma and Affinity (Fallout 3, New Vegas, Fallout 4): The ultimate decider of good and evil. While in NV you had reputations amongst different factions, the karma system is the ultimate decider of where you stand in the wasteland. I like the individual Affinity system with companions as well, because it gives you the chance to either be a certain way, or pretend to act a way to gain trust. I can see why Karma was removed in 4 though, because Karma is based upon what everyone in the wasteland knows of you, so that would've limited the ability to stay on all the companions good sides if your Karma was at a certain level. If there was a way to balance it out though, that would be great. Or maybe they could find a way to make Karma separate from companions, and still make it work out nicely with their individual Affinity.

Maybe Karma in regards to companions could be the determiner of "first impressions", and then the Affinity you develop with them is the determiner of who you really are. They did a reversal of this in Fallout 4 where companions such as Cait, MacCready and Hancock have a more badass reputation when you first meet them, but as you get to know them you find they've been through a lot of suffering. But they still keep their initial reputation among outsiders. If it can be done with NPC's, who's to say it can't be done with the player?

"You are now dressed as a member of X" (New Vegas): The ability to disguise ourselves as members of different factions was a great addition, and really should be bought back. You can get into places you couldn't before, amongst people you normally couldn't, but I think if it's bought back, then factions you work alongside with should be able to detect whether or not it's you, unless you wear a mask or a facial covering.

Clothing is as clothing does (Fallout 4, 76): Suits shouldn't just magically turn into dresses just because you decided to play as a female. If you wanna alternate between "male" and "female" versions of an outfit, then let there just be suit/dress versions of certain styles of clothing. I liked how 4/76 did this, because now, if you wanna be a guy in a dress. Guess what? You can be a guy in a dress.

Workshops and C.A.M.P features (Fallout 4, 76): I doubt we're going to get the ability to make an obnoxious amount of settlements again (maybe), but I admire the chance we're given to build and really make a part of the wasteland our own, and I even more so love how 76 really gives us all those buildings and furniture and decorations to really personalize what you have. Who knows, maybe a future title will give us a combination of workshops you naturally have in place for construction, settlements to help build up (because saving the day always seems to be the job of the player), and then C.A.M.Ps that we as the player can move wherever we like. Maybe we could be given the option to build campsites for other NPCs as a temporary or permeant home. Maybe what we build up will have the ability to be destroyed like in 76.

Grey Morality/Politics (A bit over all titles, talking especially about New Vegas, The Pitt, things of the sort): The factions we were given in NV all had good and bad sides to them, making it sometimes difficult to have a truly perfect utopia. I hope we get back more morally grey choices as well as factions and politics, or instances in where there is no right answer other than wrong and a little less wrong. I don't really need to explain in detail, you've seen how things have played out across titles.

Old Dialogue System (Every game but Fallout 4): Options yes, no, no but actually yes and sarcasm aren't good enough. I love the cinematic aspect FO4 had, don't get me wrong, but conversation is so limited. I also loved the ridiculous way the camera would zoom right on someone's face (I feel sometimes in 76 you can just be way too far from someone talking sometimes) and I'd like to be able to walk out of the conversation whenever I want as well.

Certain Perks/Stats result certain outcomes (Most of the old titles): I wanna be able to get away with low intelligent speeches, flirt with people to get my way, things of the sort. Pretty simple.

That's all I've got for now since I've been working on this list for hours but yeah. Feel free to add things you'd like to see. Personality I'd just like to see the best features and aspects taken from all the games to create the "ultimate Fallout experience".

[natsukitakama]

Headcanon : Celebrate Valentine’s day with the Wells

Author note : I know this wasn’t on my list but I couldn’t stop thinking about that so here we go hope you’re going to enjoy it ! 

It may have been a lot longer for Harry my apologize  : I am going to include Eowells too cause why not ? 

I hope HR wasn’t too OOC it took me time to write his part cause I haven’t seen season 3 since a long time ago

i do not own those gifs so credit to owners 

Warning : slight mention of NSFW / I tried to be gender neutral

Eobard Thawne as Harrison Wells

At the very beginning of the week he didn’t plan to celebrate Valentin’s day. Its not like he doesn’t love his kitten 

Buuuut they weren’t a part of his plan and yet he let them be a part go his life. However they couldn’t stop him from his plan : especially when he was so close to go home 

Yet let’s say some people (Cisco) decided to decorate the whole lab with a lot a of Heart a cute cupidon and also some sweets like chocolat 

It wasn’t wrong to say the whole mood was oriented about Valentin’s day 

So do you 

You weren’t a huge / desperate romantic like some membre of the team flash (we’re talking about you Barry & Cisco) but it was good to say you were pretty excited. 

It will be your first Valentin’s day with Harrison Wells your amazing boyfriend. Since all the things who happen to him you though he deserves some good quality time 

And of course being the good calculator he was Eobard knows about that. The way you were so excited and so focus to prepare the most precious day for him has definitely melt his heart 

He just couldn’t not celebrate that with you. 

Spoil is the key word 

He gave you so many gifts and compliments : Eobard has dedicated the whole day to you : literally 

it all started with a cute breakfast a lot of cuddle before going to work 

Blow a wink time to time 

Sharing a coffee 

A lot of holding hand and knuckle’s kiss when no one was watching

You thought Barry could be gross with his PDA ? Think about it, It’s like both of you were the only one on earth 

You definitely have a big belly burger together (he even share his fry with you)

He bought you a gorgeous ring which he gave you with a red rose 

A lot flirting this day more than usual 

And then the night begin

You were so nervous about the meal but you work so hard (he saw you) you wanted everything to be perfect for him

Classical music candle a dress (he will never the way that dress was good on you). The dinner was nothing but sweet like the day

« It’s really delicious Y/N I do not deserve you » 

« Thank you but it’s not a big deal » 

« Don’t Y/N it was »

After a good day fighting meta you definitely deserve a cute night together 

Like I said the day was dedicated to you : so be ready for a night of love about you 

WORSHIP/100 

You made sweet love this night 

And at the end of the night he gave you the most precious gift 

3 words 

« I love you Y/N » 

He means it 

You will probably question his sincerity in the futur 

But he was 

Earth 2 Harrisson grumpy wells 

Not all people know that : But Harry is actually a romantic dude 

Of course he claimed he wasn’t « I am not a teenager anymore Ramon » 

But we know better 

Despite his 7 phd he couldn’t organise the day. Not that he sucks about organization quite contrary 

But all he wants was to make the better Valentin’s day you never have,  cause deep down he was still selfconcious about your relationship 

I mean you were so incredible gorgeous … 

And he was him grumpy and a DAD 

Not that you mind 

But still he couldn’t erase the feeling on his heart : he doesn’t deserve you 

So during the whole week before the big day he was tensed. Like more than usual : Let’s say he was grumpy x 10000 

He took two days to Cisco to realize what’s going on (cause he was sick to work and being hurted by a marker every time). Since he knows his friends he decided to confront him directly 

First Harry denies everything « I am angry because you weren’t work harder enough » « I’ve the feeling it’s something about th 14th February » « I don’t know what you’re talking about Ramon »

After a argument or two about how stubborn he can be Harry confess : Yes the reason he was so tensed and so grumpy was you he wanted everything to be perfect and he may stress him too much. Cisco listen all the thing and give him a simple advice “be yourself” which Harry thought was ridiculous what does that even mean ?

And then you came by his side knowing by team flash your boyfriend was upset about something. Which definitely concern you. 

when he saw you coming for him to cheer him up that he understands what Cisco wanted to mean 

So your day was pretty simple and yet unforgettable 

First when you wake up Harry was still by your side to cuddle with you (while other time he prepares himself to go working). You guys have breakfast on the bed close to each other talking about everything 

You take a hot shower together (and I am not talking about the temperature of the water) 

Both of you go to work and then have a big belly burger together 

Then the night begin 

Before leaving your job you saw a text on your phone : « let’s celebrate properly go to see the box in your bedroom ». Curiosity help you to go faster on your home. You saw a gorgeous velvet dress with a necklace that look expansive 

Then you got another text « I’ll take you at 7pm ». Which leave you one hour to make yourself pretty for this mysterious night 

And as planned Harry was at your home at 7pm with a particular thing on his hand and his gorgeous suit with white shirt : it was a vibe’s tool to go to his earth. 

In fact he planned to spend the whole night with you on his earth. Your date was really cute : first he took you to a very famous restaurant on his earth not without showing you in compliment then you have walked on a parc which was illuminated by the light of the stars. 

Both of you have nothing but love for each other 

When you go home the celebration begin : Since he wasn’t good with his words especially when it was about feeling he decided to show you how much you mean to him in bed 

You were never that satisfied before 

Sure Harry was an amazing lover 

But this night was different it was like he was saying all of his love by every touch every kiss every caress was a way to say «  I love you » 

He loves you like he thought he couldn’t anymore 

After this passionate night you talk about the day especially how sweet he was and how you didn’t deserve his kindness to you 

« Don’t be silly Y/N you’re my everything … *blush* I-I mean with Jesse too » 

He may wasn’t confortable with showing his feeling but when he does it worths it `

HR Wells 

Unlike Harrison and Harry it’s been a whole month Since HR knows how to spend the day with you 

He has already bought your gift planned the meal etc

He just couldn’t wait but to be at 14th 

With Cisco and other membre of team flash he decided to make a full decoration for the big day. A lot of heart everywhere much to Harry’s chagrin (too childish according to him) 

You barely go into Star labs that you saw a big bouquet of rose on your desk with a lovely note « to my lovely Y/N the person I couldn’t live without » 

But that was just foreplay 

HR goes as fast as he could to Jitters to create your own (favorite drink) and then go back to star lab with 

« Oooh HR this is way to sweet how did you call it ? » « Sweet Y/n » 

Your heart couldn’t melt more at this poin. But that’s wasn’t enough. After working on a huge physics problem for Harry you felt two heavy and yet fluffy arm on your back : it was a big teddy bear wearing the same hat as HR « I thought he could be there with you when I am working with team flash like a number 2 » « no one can remplace you HR but thanks he is pretty”

But gift wasn’t enough to express all the love he has for you so HR cook you a delicious date meal for your lunch time. Which was incredible « I didn’t even know you can cook » « I am full of surprise *wink* » 

Basically you spend the whole day cuddle and flirting. It was a way too PDA even for Barry/Iris so you were temporarily exclude from work 

It gave you a lot of time if you know what I mean 

Beside the whole passion time 

It gave a lot of time to make a lot of activity 

Going to the carousel together taking a lot of photo 

Eat a ton of toffee apple 

Watch a romantic movie at theatre 

Go shopping (please he would do anything to admire you by any angle while wearing dress or even better lingerie) 

Then you go on an intimate restaurant you never eat before

It was both chil intimate and quite romantic : lot of color led some velvet chair 

By the end you go home with a lot of star on your eyes because of this sweet day with your boyfriend 

«  I love you HR » 

« I love you too Y/N »

Sherloque 

So apparently French people is seen as romantic 

Not sure if he could be described as romantic 

Let’s say he has is own version of romanticism 

He already prove with his ex wife that he could be a mess when it was about showing emotion by action 

But for you he decided it won’t be the same 

« Cisco mon ami, could you help me with the way you express l’amour here? » « Wait what ? Are you asking me advice about seduction » « yeah you still crying about your breakup  nevermind » « ok fair Sherlock » « SherloQUE » « Yeah yeah nevermind how about buy them something they like cooking meal just enjoying a chill day no Cicada no case to solve you know ? Just FOCUS on her ? » 

So did he 

While you were busy chatting with other girl he took advantage of it and go to central city for some shopping 

Bought you everything that remind him you : black lace lingerie (not sure if it was for his pleasure or yours), camellia, book that you once said want to read , chocolat, and some toys for the night 

He made a gorgeous box with he put on your bed and then proceed to text you « Let’s celebrate Valentin’s day together xoxo SherloQUE » 

You got the text while taking to Cisco even though he couldn’t see your phone he just give you the « go have fun girl » smile 

When you back to your home you saw a lot of rose petal on your stairs to what you believe was your bedroom 

So you play the game and follow those petals

You weren’t ready for this 

When you went to your bedroom you were hit by the glorious picture of your boyfriend : Sherloque was laying on your bed shirtless with nothing but his pant on there were some candle and your Buch of camellia  

You were taken aback by this picture : the way he looks so hot and yet so adorable 

All you thought was to take your cloth and jump to him. But he stopped you 

« Go see the bathroom mon amour »

Which you did without a second thought 

You found the sexy lingerie he bought earlier and some oil 

When you went back to the bedroom with nothing but the underwear and the oil it was Sherloque’s turn to be breathtaking by your glorious figure 

« Tu es magnifique » 

You were sure a blush mess at this point but nevermind 

You joined Sherloque for the most intimate night you both share 

After literally broke the bed 

Sherloque dedicated the day to you as Cisco say to him he has to focus on you and only you which he did. And it was gladly appreciate 

You know your boyfriend loves you but sometimes he got super excited by a case he may forgot to give you attention 

So when he told you he’ll spend the whole night chilling with you 

You knew he was the one 

You decided to watch a lot of movie and série about murder and investigation just to see your boyfriend get super excited and focus about it. Plus he tends to cuddle you a lot when you watch movie together 

You read a lot of book and initiative him to Harry Potter and some video games 

By the end of the Day sherloque wanted to surprise you by cooking the meal. Despite the whole smoking it was good 

Before going to bed for some sleep he took your hand and look at you right in your eyes

« Y/N I know sometimes I may have been too focus on the case mais I want you to know that je t’aime I mean I love you like a lot I-I thought I will always be miserable in love but you prove me I was wrong and for once it felt good » 

Here the translation for Sherloque : 

Mon ami : my friends 

L’amour : love 

Mon amour : my love

Tu es magnifique : you are gorgeous or You are breathtaking 

Je t’aime : I love you

I hope you have a beautiful day with your significant other or on your own enjoying your life ! It’s actually 11 pm for me I am super tired but wanted to writing it down and publish it so I hope you enjoy it too ! ♡ 

[wapwetasspirates]

SO SFW AZ (Treasure)

A: Affection (How affectionate are they with a s/o?)

Very affectionate. The trouble is that she is very clingy but also that she is that way with everyone. It is near impossible to tell when or who she is dating as there is little difference in her affections between them all. It is best to set boundaries with her and let her know what you are comfortable with or Treasure will take the affection with everyone as far as they and you allow. It's not that she doesn’t love you especially but affection is a very freely given thing in her world and she has a hard time catching herself and saying no.

B: Breath (What can their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Compliments on her personality as opposed to her looks surprise her. She knows she is gorgeous but hears it so often it’s lost value. Telling her she did well or said something particularly funny, etc always melts her inside and will put a silly grin on her face. But also wear a particularly flattering outfit and she won’t be able to look away or speak for several moments, just be prepared to not leave your room for the next several hours.

C: Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

Always. Silly cuddles, comfort cuddles, you name it she is always down to cuddle. She has no preference on position and just enjoys being able to touch you though she has a particular fondness for human hair and her fingers are forever combing through it during cuddles. 

D: Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)  

Thrill seekers, hunters of mystery. She wants adventure and to take in everything she can with you beside her, exploring everything and everyone. 

E: Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

Both a lot and none at all. Her care is rather evenly given so it can seem like less and any s/o will have a hard time competing for attention with Coffer. That is not to say she puts none in but the gestures and effort can ring hollow when she would do the same for anyone. This goes back to needing to discuss boundaries.

F: Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

Treasure often uses humor to turn everything into a joke and try to remove the fear from it, this can be helpful and annoying at times. If that doesn’t work she turns to more physical means, whether cuddles or, ehem, more distracting physical fun. 

G: Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

She is shamelessly materialistic and adores being given trinkets and loves dressing up her s/o’s. Expect 99% of your gifts to be things she’d like to see you in. 

H: Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

She basically drapes herself all over you all the time, it doesn’t really count as a hug but she is something like a leech so good luck getting space from her. If you want a real, comforting hug you’d probably have to ask her.

I: Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Treasure knows exactly how to play the part of the romantic but she has little interest in it herself. She does it if her partner enjoys it but otherwise doesn’t bother. As for intimacy, you might end up wishing she had an off switch.

J: Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Not even slightly. She is open to all forms of relationship and trusts her s/o but if you don’t at least give her a heads up she can be very petty and expect more than a few sharp words from Coffer that will remind you exactly why you don’t want to do that. 

K: Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?) 

One of the best in wap and no that isn’t just her pride boasting, it’s fact. Her and Coffer have regular competitions much to everyone's amusement. She loves kissing, any and all types and everywhere. She is very fond of giving and receiving shoulder kisses especially and loves surprise kisses. Especially dramatic, running across a street to leap into each other's arms dramatics. She is extra, what can I say.

L: Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say it or show it?) 

Surprisingly she is very careful about saying it but once she does she’ll say it often and shamelessly. She’ll shout it from rooftops just because she can. Her showing it, much like her affection, can seem too similar to everyone else so she tends to rely on her words in this case. 

M: Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so what kind of ceremony?)

She isn't actually that fond of that type of commitment. Not that she isn’t committed but she idea of a piece of paper proving she cares for you doesn’t sit well with her. If she ever were to get married though, you can bet she would demand the most ridiculously extravagant wedding possibly and she wouldn’t pay a dime to get it either. 

N: Night Out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?) 

Date night is every night. She has no preference; she just enjoys wining and dining her s/o and the same being done in return. If you let her everyday will end up being the most ridiculous date until it blurs into one endless date of madness.

O: Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do for/with their s/o?) 

Settling down. It isn’t really in her nature but with an s/o she is more willing to have calm, “domestic” days if asked. 

P: Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

When is she not? If she’s not teasing you, flirting, or generally being a pain in everyones ass. You’ll have a much harder time getting her to not make light of everything and take things seriously than you will dragging her into a game play wrestling or prank war.. 

Q: Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

She doesn’t. It doesn’t mean she won’t take advice but she usually is the type to do first and ask later. However, she has no problems voicing her thoughts on everything under the sun and then some. 

R: Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

Very. It's highly debatable that Treasure even knows what a plan is let along can plan something. Everything is done on a whim and in the spur of the moment with whatever strikes her fancy and she loves dragging her s/o along for the ride. 

S: Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

Whenever she wants and frequently. As much as she is the type to go everywhere and do everything she enjoys her “beauty rest” and will kidnap you no matter how inconvenient for naps and sleep, she never sleeps alone and it is something she will argue with you about. She is twice as clingy in her sleep as she is awake. 

T: Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Completely. Entirely. And also not at all. She knows people far better than they know themselves at times and if she doesn’t trust you she probably never will, if she does trust you it's nigh impossible to have that trust broken. 

U: Unique (What makes them unique as a s/o?)  

Sexy brothel pirate lady. She’ll swindle your heart.

V: Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

Immediately. She is shameless and not afraid of being vulnerable but this has burned her many times. There isn’t a real difference in behavior because with Treasure the version you get is the version you will always get in a sense. If she trusts you enough to be vulnerable she is so from the start, if she doesn’t you’ll never see it. 

W: Wild Card (Random domestic headcanon)

Wearing each other's clothes. Her favorite to see you in is something of hers and vice versa. She is a bit of a dork and loves the scent of you around her, surprisingly lazy days inside in the most ridiculous outfits are something that will happen more often than you’d think.

X: X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

As if she’d let any around you long enough for that to happen. And if it did Coffer will have it taken care of so quickly you’ll wonder if it ever happened at all. If it's a minor physical mishap she will mock you endlessly even as she teasingly offers to kiss it better. Serious injuries will have you ported to Coffer and healed before you even feel the sting of an injury. 

Y: Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Not really, Treasure is all about doing you (ha, see what I did there?). And if something does bother her she’ll just ignore it, she’s very good at that. And if it's something that really upsets Treasure you’ll suddenly find Coffer has somehow trained you out of it. 

Z: Zeal (Are they passionate as a s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

Very. But she’s passionate about everything and everyone, its both hard to match and almost seems false but she does enjoy when people try to keep up, especially her adorable s/o.

[shittyshakes]

Shakespeare Commentary from Someone who has never read Shakespeare (Much Ado Version)

 In which Mod Rachel just. Nerds out. Because Beatrice and Benedick deserve it.

Act 1

Scene 1

I can already tell that this shit is going to be over-dramatic as fuck, but I live for these kinds of romcoms

Beatrice is a WOMAN, like holy fuck she’s a whole mood

(yes, I’m thirsting on this feed and i’m not even sorry)

she either realllly likes this Benedick fellow or really despises him, but I’m going to go with the former

their banter is really funny though

i will state this reads like flirting? like this is just establishing all the sexual tension right?

I don’t know how I feel about Don Pedro’s character

What does Benedick have against love or is he just against Hero? Or is he just salty from his lack of love?

although to be fair Claudio did just see Hero and declare his undying love for her, that’s kind of ridiculous

“I’ll live as a bachelor”

those are famous last words, why you always lyin Benedick?

wait...

Benedick, as in bene-dick; is Benedick’s name a pun on dicks??????

I knew this play was wrought with sexual innuendos but holy crap

after confirming with Leo, I can confirm that we talked about this exact fact in lecture and I’m just a dumbass

For some reason all of Don Pedro’s plotting to set people up gives me bad vibes but maybe I’m just superstitious

Scene 2

gasp! An Antonio appears! Is he gay

side note, apparently this is the only Antonio in Shakespeare that is not and, won’t lie, I’m slightly disappointed

wait was all this scene just 2 dudes sitting around and talking about Hero? what was even the point?

Scene 3

Is Don John sad like Antonio was from The Merchant of Venice? 

for some reason I think not

oh wait, maybe he has an inferiority complex to Don Pedro

okay, since this guys name is Borachio (which means drunkard in Spanish) can I infer that he is always drunk and/or is drunk in this scene?

maybe Don John is just salty, maybe that’s all his motivation is

Act 2

Scene 1

Hero speaks!

I’m interested to see if Hero is the “hero” of the play, implementing the pun

P.S. I’ve finished reading, she is not and I’ve never been more disappointed to be wrong. I was really rooting for her

In text (before watching any kind of staged edition) I imagine this to be like the dinner in Shrek 2, so I’m curious to see how people blocked this scene in film and stage

Does Beatrice really need a husband though? She’s doing fine on her own and we stan 1 strong independent woman

side note, sometimes I forget Hero is even in this play, she speaks so little

I am so confused, who is Margaret and where did they come from? Is she even that important or is she just here to move the plot?

are she and borachio a thing? wtf even was their exchange???

Same with Ursula? 

I can’t believe they’re going to talk to Benedick like he’s not Benedick because of the mask

THE TROPES, THE TROPES

So wait, now Claudio is pretending to be Benedick? None of this is a good idea

So wait, now Claudio thinks that Don Pedro loves and wants Hero?

God, what a mess. This is more of a mess than I am

So, Benedick likes Beatrice then

he kind of reminds me of a young boy who can’t confess his feelings so he’s just awful to her (pulling pigtails)

I agree with Don Pedro that Benedick and Beatrice would make an excellent married couple; imagine the hate-sex

but also, Don Pedro has waaaaaaaayyyyy too much time on his hands

Scene 2

Is Don John being influenced by Borachio?

Is borachio the real mastermind?

better question, is borachio drunk right now?

Scene 3

oh Benedick definitely has the hots for Beatrice

oh my god he just wants her to confess first, what a dork

Claudio @ Benedick: oh how the turned tables rawr XD

I both love and hate how easily Benedick is buying into all this

They totally know Benedick is listening, those sly dogs

This is prime bad romcom right now

Act 3

Scene 1

Hero is back and with some lines

I hope she speaks more in this second half, I’m intrigued by her character

oh so even she is in on the “let’s trick Benedick and Beatrice into confessing”

I love this for her. I hope she is having the time of her life because it’s what she deserves

because tbh, no one here gives a frack about her and Claudio

Also I can NOT believe that these people say Benedick’s name with a straight face. They are basically complimenting his penis the entire play and I am here for it

I still can’t believe these dumbfucks bought it

Scene 2

ooh this is when Benedick changes appearances, he did it to woo Beatrice

i love that for him, i love that he is so soft for her

we stan 1 brotp between Benedick and his homies

Don John noooooooooooooooooooooooo

I’m really not here for Claudio x Hero but it is what it is

Scene 3

what the fuck kind of name is dogberry?

wait is this insinuating that he’s shit? or the shit?

a shitty bitch?????

so they’re just plotting

Scene 4

so much speaking from Hero

we live to see it

all things that begin with H --> ‘horny’ ;D

Scene 5

they’re talking about the wedding, right?

this is the part where i begin to get lost and wish for an adaptation to watch

so is dogberry going to crash the wedding?

Act 4

Scene 1

wait did Claudio just deny marriage? And they just continued on like nothing happened?

did he just insult Hero in front of her father?? what balls

oh he’s saying she’s unpure

oh my god this is a mess

i can’t believe that everyone just believes this? and now she’s not worthy to live? That’s cray-cray? like what is even happening

oh shit, is it happening????

oh shit it’s happening!!!

oh shit no

but as a side, please do kill claudio, he’s a dumbass who doesn’t deserve Hero

Scene 2

sexton, really?

i’m not really sure what the point of this scene was?

also what was all the talk about ass? do they mean like butts? or like a donkey? 

i’m so confused ?????

Act 5

Scene 1

so they’re talking about the “death” of Hero

so they’re pulling a juliet? or is juliet pulling a hero?

I guess this isn’t important but I don’t actually know which was written first

yeah suck on that claudio, you piece of shit

AND DON PEDRO STILL BELIEVES THIS GARBAGE

absolute heresy I say

Benedick is the actual homie, the MVP

get Claudio’s head out of his ass

god, all men are bastards except benedick

yeah that’s right, I said it

Scene 2

I actually love Benedick, 10/10 great character

I wasn’t sure how I felt about him at first, but now we gucci

I’m glad they’re back to playful bantering. 

I love that for them

Scene 3

so we’re at the “funeral” or just Claudio before the grave?

despite the fact that he’s the one that humiliated and betrayed Hero at the altar he’s still going to return every year? i’m so confused

Claudio isn’t a great character and I don’t like him

to be completely honest, I can’t even tell if he’s sad during this interaction

Scene 4

so Claudio was sincerely sad then?

Benedick’s asking permission to marry Beatrice? That’s so cute, he’s such a dork, an absolute Hufflepuff

we stan 1 respectful boi

and now we’re back with the denial and insecurity but at least we’re finally getting to the true confession

the tension was killing me

aw yeahhhhhhh, they finally kissed

I don’t know how I feel about Beatrice’s lack of lines following the kiss but it is what it is

and just remembering that during Shakespeare’s time this was all played by dudes makes me absolutely lose my shit

final rating: 7/10

Benedick and Beatrice were the highlights of this play and I can’t wait to see the adaptations to see people genuinely have fun playing these two characters

genuinely a really fun play and I wasn’t completely lost reading this so we count that as a win

minus points for claudio, i’m still salty that he and hero got married

[susventingdolphins]

My sister no longer feels like a friend (No TL;DR, but if you want to get to the last breaking incident and skip the past context / events go to the bottom)

I (23) have these two friends I'll call them L (21) and X (23), L has been like a sister to me for 3 years. I still love her as one but so much has happened that I don't love her as a friend anymore. L and X I've helped with their mental health since I met them, L for 3 years I've been her on call pseudo friend-therapist trying to help her so she could eventually get professional help for herself. Its been non stop taking care of her and having friends around us favor her and abuse me and neglect me to force me to be the perfect "caretaker" for her by "toughening me up" L knew about this but shrugged it all off. L Rarely reciprocated with listening to me, when i did try to go to her she'd be judgemental and threaten me to force me into things I didn't want to do. So eventually I rarely went to her unless it was dumb friend sh*t and nothing big in my life. And even then it was only when I wanted to end my own life did I go to her. But she always blew me off and it was my husband who had to pull me back each time.

The major issues though? It started off last year First incident with L Blew off my past abuse out of no where, using her religion to push me into forgiving the man who sexually, physically and verbally abused me, gave my whole family ptsd, gave my mother physical scars, screwed up and ruined my one brothers knee, hurt me so badly that I live with constant physical pain as a result from too much force / physical trauma to my body. But L told me I had to forgive him that abuse is a cycle and only god can judge. When I told her to stop and told her she should know better as shes been through verbal abuse and emotional manipulation from both of her parents. She insisted I was being ridiculous by still hating him and having ptsd from him. Got angry and offended and told me again only god can judge and that im not allowed to or I'll go to hell. Second Incident with L She compared me to her abusive mother out of the blue when I was trying to help prevent L from ending her own life scared for her, all because she had insecurities and anxiety and outright admitted to me she let her imagination run wild and painted a completely different version of me in her own head, yet she still judged me for the actions of that imagined version things I never even did or said and she held them against me. Third incident with L She knows I have a fear of men bc of my PTSD, Men are terrifying even online for me, the older they are the worse it is. It causes me major panic attacks so I prefer to outnumber men with females and nonbinary friends when Im with new men so I don't feel overwhelmed. I like to take things slow with men. L however thought it was a good idea to throw me in a group chat with 5 men and just the two of us and to make it worse pressured and forced us into a voice call, acting depressed and hurt if I didn't join. She told me she was trying exposure therapy to help me get over it. I never asked her to do such a thing and I had a major panic attack. I got angry at her for this and she got defensive and angry and when I didn't let it go she then wanted to take her own life again. When I apologised to her for being mad and forced myself to let it go suddenly she was all rainbows and sunshine again. Fourth Incident with L I had a dangerous ex friend, who I couldn't leave bc they were threatening me and had found out my IP address. L knew this I spoke to her about this. I legally could do nothing bc it was JUST online they hadn't made a move yet so I couldn't get legal help. L forced me to leave that ex friend threatening to leave me as a friend if I didn't and assured me I'd be fine if I broke it off, told me I don't really trust her or love her if I didn't. Even though I told L of the risks and the fact I couldn't legally protect myself because even if the ex did do something cyber crimes are often brushed off in my town and laughed off unless she DOES leak the IP or my address (and often times thats still ignored until someone physically tries to harm me or stalk me). It doesn't stop her from leaking everything else about me. The ex friend then leaked all my emails, my social medias, my face, to people online, including to hate groups of asexuals, knowing I was ace, one of the biggest things I wanted to avoid. the IP didn't get leaked but the ex friend did threaten to leak it if I went against her again, I then had a lot of threats flooding my email address after. Now as for long standing issues over the past 3 years 1. She would always bring up how much she hated her skinny body when I felt insecure of being fat 2. She would always get mad at me for wanting to lose weight because she felt I was hating on myself by wanting to lose even one pound, told me god made me this way and I was being disrespectful if I change it, even when it was for medical reasons. 3. She insinuated a lot that I wasn't good enough for my husband that because I have depression he deserved better 4. She threatened me all the time to tell my brother who has depression, that I was suicidal and pile all of my own problems on him knowing it'd

hurt him if I ever ended my friendship with her, she'd do this whenever I got mad at her for anything. 5. She never accepted that she hurt me a lot, instead she'd either suddenly want to die every single time until I let it go or she'd try to gaslight me into making it all my fault she hurt me. I never could communicate with her. 6. she constantly criticised me for not having as easy of a time learning as other people and for being unable to grasp anything in math (except the basics) and science. She also constantly corrected and mocked and made fun of me for my punctuation and grammar and discouraged me from following my dreams to become an author. 7. Constantly got jealous about all my new friends and trash talked them 8. Flirted with my IRL big brother trying to lead him on and use him to cheat, when she was in relationships with other men and knew my brother was off limits. 9. Trash talked my mother no matter how many times I got angry at her for it. 10. Forced me to voice chat and do so often without breaks, even when I didn't want to though she knew I had major anxiety involving using my actual voice to speak (its linked to my social anxiety, its weird and I don't get it myself. But speaking physically genuinely mentally pains me to do) 11. Sent me monetary gifts even when I told her not to, and always joked about me owing her, and went on about how much money they cost her and how much of her money she had left. 12. All the gifts she did send me was things she liked that she knew I disliked and she got angry if I didn't fall in love with these things. 13. Would disrespect my s*x repulsion (part of my own asexuality. Its my side of the spectrum) and force me into uncomfortable topics talking all about her having s*x with her boyfriends. For those wondering why X is also a problem: through all these each time I asked him what to do when talking to L didn't work, X excused her behaviour and blamed and pinned everything on me for "not trying hard enough to be a good friend, not being understanding enough, not being patient enough. You know how L is, its just her nature! You should be putting more legwork in to make up for it, you know she loves you. would she put up with you if she didn't? She only wants what is best for you, give her a break. Shes doing this all for you. You have to take care of her! you owe her, she deserves it." ‼️LAST INCIDENT FOR THOSE WHO DON'T WANT TO READ ALL OF THIS‼️ then the most recent incident with her some context first: I take mental health breaks, I am bluntly honest about what im going through if asked if I trust someone. If you're not part of the problem I always let you know why im leaving even if I don't go into detail. This is something I've said and made clear numerous times over the years and even warn people about the day we become friends so they have time to back out if they can't handle a friendship that isn't constant messaging. L and X for the past 6 months have ghosted me and been cold towards me, responding maybe 1 / 20 times and always short and curt unless they needed help for something. The whole time I waited for them, I helped them even when I was having bad day after bad day, my own mental health was dipping which i informed them of incase I seemed cold after awhile and couldn't keep up being bubbly. But I kept trying to make their day sending cute little supportive messages constantly and checking up on them bi-daily when I knew it was particularly a hard week for them. I waited and waited thinking "They will talk to me when they need me or when they feel ready. It'll be okay, Whatever it is we can tackle it together" and this is also something I expressed to them, that I noticed something is wrong but I'm here if they need me whenever they are ready. That the option is always open and I loved them. Then they got colder and colder, they started making snide jabs at me all the time which I brushed off as them having a bad day every single time. They made jabs about every part of my personality being annoying, my appearance being annoying and treated my

looks with disgust, they hated every single thing I got into and liked and got angry if I didn't like every single thing they did, they found any reason to criticise me those 6 months every single day. And on my 3 year friendship anniversary with them they treated me even colder and picked a bunch of small fights with me throughout the whole day from what games i was playing, to my choice of clothes, to what I ate to how much and how little I spoke, everything was wrong wrong wrong. Then fast forward to 2 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago L started a huge fight with me L told me my depressive break downs were pity parties minimized and scoffed and laughed at them. She told me My husband only puts up with me and I don't deserve him and im abusive and toxic for having depression that because I don't get better it hurts everyone else that I can't be happy all the time and im toxic because I "choose to have depression" She told me Im abusive for taking mental health breaks that by taking them and walking away from all social media for a few days at a time, im "practically telling us we're not good enough and we're unloveable." and that I am toxic for taking breaks. Her words. Im toxic for being friends with people I've fought with in the past and "stupid, naive, retarded, foolish, cowardly" that I love the pain and bathe in it and thats why I never get better. That im a "sh*tty friend for being depressed" told me to just willpower away my depression and anxiety. She told me I deserved to be depressed and have anxiety, told me I brought it on myself, told me my past didn't matter that my PTSD is my own fault, told me I never had to be perfect (I did in the past as a kid have to be to avoid being given to an abusive criminal bc he had this town wrapped around his finger into believing he was innocent as can be, this is something that lasted with me from I assume PTSD, I strive to be perfect to fix all my flaws I possibly am able to, and hide most of my negative emotions. This has never ever effected how I treated others, only how I treat myself. It also is something I've tried for years to snap out of but never been able to manage to.) and that im no ones saviour (never said, acted or claimed I was) and to stop helping other people, told me im nothing and no one and no one cares about me. Told me I don't matter and no one would care if I did die that im insignificant. She told me she was hurt I don't talk to them how I feel about them and keep it to myself instead when she knows they are hurting me. She then compared herself to my ex friend who abused me for 6 years straight and numerous times had tried to drive me to suicide. She then told me It was my fault she has insecurities. When I told X all that happened X blamed me for it telling me I deserved it and everyone else was too cowardly and everyone was thinking it and wanted to do it to me. He then told me he loved me and wanted me to talk to him how I felt about him, so I was honest decided "Okay I must be in the wrong if they both are upset" I apologised to them both for everything they accused me of because I genuinely felt bad. L and I kept talking because I was trying to fix things, L told me that I X and Her "Know we aren't your only friends but it'd be nice if we were, I'd like that it'd make me so much happier" She told me that she feels like she has to change to a warmer person and im a bad person for her feeling that way because she feels like she has to match up to my energy because I get depressed when they ignore and ghost me for weeks on end that its just "how we are, its our nature. We're cold people" Then turned around in the fight to tell me I have to change and become colder, that they hate who I am as a person, they hate that im affectionate and get attached to people. L told me X and her have been talking behind my back, sent me logs of it of the two of them insulting and mocking me and told me they did it out of love and frustration and in those logs X had told L many of my secrets I trusted X with, he didn't keep a single one. I went back to

X deciding to be honest since they want honesty, and told him about what L showed me and that I didn't trust the two of them anymore after this and the things said were harsh and hurted a lot and a lot of it did feel inaccurate while some things were on the nose, and he told me he didn't want to be my brother anymore, told me I was a bad friend and I again deserved what panda did, then he ghosted me. After this all happened, I snapped and something clicked and changed inside and I felt cold towards them. Affectionate to those who actually showed me love, and happier again because I trusted L the most and she broke my heart. It felt like I hit an epiphany. I became a new person, I changed my name online, I cut off toxic friends, I patched things up with old friends, I communicated more about my feelings so there'd be no misunderstandings anymore with good friends because of my own anxiety and insecurities with them. I was happier I had really good friends by my side who love me. I was a new me, I found myself again and it felt like there was light again in a tunnel that has been long and dark since I was 12. Fast forward to 3 days ago and she messaged me again after us not talking since that incident. She apologised and I felt relieved, but thats not the end. Her apology took a very unexpected turn. She told me she was only sorry she never said anything earlier, but she did not regret a single thing she said or did to me over the years since we met and especially not what she said and did that day. She told me again I was a horrible human being for being depressed and toxic for hating my own appearance and trying to lose weight. She then said "I know better, I knew better and let my own insecurities get to me. But its YOUR fault. You never told me otherwise. I didn't go to you either but you never told me what I needed to hear, you're supposed to be good at reading people, its your fault not mine" Told me that she is hurt by me for me taking mental health breaks, said I was doing it to be malicious to her and X, that there was no way I wasn't, even though she "knows better her insecurities say its that way so it has to be and its my fault for making her feel insecure." She then told me she wants to stop being friends but also wants to hold onto me. Told me I'd have to do a lot of work, when I spoke to her about all she ever did that hurt me, how I felt she turned around and made it all about herself. She then told me it'd be me that would have to change who I am as a person. "Become colder, Stop caring about others, Be warmer to us, don't leave us behind, stop taking mental health breaks" Then she told me "Its my fault you changed, I did well but I don't like how you changed. I pushed you onto that new path leaving myself stuck behind. I dislike this new you, I didn't expect for that to change your whole life and who you were. I don't like it, maybe we can change it back and be friends again" She then told me "the misunderstanding caused me to distrust you, you'll have to repair that if you want us to be friends still. I'll TRY but you have to fix everything or this wont work out" If we do stay friends shes going to be a casual video games only kind of friend only bc I still do love her. But honestly if we stop being friends Im fine with that too. Either way shes lost all right to be a big part of my life again and shes lost trust she'll never get back from me.

[possiblyimbiassed]

John’s wedding is a crime scene and Sherlock is the victim

What is BBC Sherlock actually about, and why were HLV and Series 4 so weird? I know there are lots and lots of different theories and alternative explanations at this point, but as far as I can see, there are two principal, recurring themes that are referred to in every part of this show: drugs and suicide. In fact, there’s not a single episode without references to self-inflicted deaths and drug problems:

• ASiP: A serial killer drives people to commit suicide. The victims are threatened and manipulated to take a dangerous pill. Scotland Yard makes a drug-bust in Sherlock’s flat (but finds nothing). • TBB: Killings occur in rooms locked from the inside, suspected to be suicides. A criminal network is dealing in drugs and stolen antiquities. Perpetrator literally falls on his own sword. • TGG: Three victims are wrapped up in explosives like suicide bombers. One victim is slowly killed by repeated injections with Botox which she has agreed to on a limited scale (John refers to this as ‘overdosing’ on his blog). A drug dealer (accidentally) kills his sister’s boyfriend and gets rid of the body. • ASiB: A man is killed by his own returning boomerang. Sherlock is drugged with an injection in the neck. Mycroft and John suspects a “danger night” for Sherlock as a drug user, after Irene Adler is found ‘dead’. • THoB: Henry Knight becomes suicidal when he’s harassed by visions of a monster dog. A hallucinatory drug, which instils fear, causes the visions. Sherlock and John are both affected by it. • TRF: Moriarty drugs a guardian with a spray, in order to steel the crown jewels. Kidnapped children are poisoned with candy. Sherlock is forced to jump from a rooftop in a fake suicide. The villain blows his brains out with a gun. • TEH: Sherlock’s ‘suicide’ has gravely affected John, who seems depressed and almost suicidal himself. John is drugged with an injection in the neck. • ASoT: Mrs Hudson tells John about her husband who was running a drug cartel. Major Sholto, who is stabbed in the back in an injection-like manner, threatens to kill himself at John’s wedding. • HLV: John finds Sherlock in a drug den, high on drugs. Sherlock is shot, and under his recovery attached to IV morphine. Sherlock drugs his family and John’s wife. After killing Magnussen, Sherlock is sent to Eastern Europe on a suicide mission. • TAB: Sherlock overdoses a mortal cocktail of drugs on the aeroplane. In Sherlock’s Victorian Mind Palace he takes a 7% solution of cocaine and Moriarty blows his brains out (again). A bride commits fake suicide, disguises as a ghost, murders her husband and then kills herself. • T6T: Sherlock is drugged by sniffing on a poisonous note from ‘Mary’. A young man dies trapped inside his own car (=classical method of suicide). ‘Mary’ throws herself in front of a bullet. • TLD: The whole episode is about suicide and drug use. TD12 is a drug used to make people forget things. 221B is converted to a drug lab. Sherlock, who is constantly high, deduces that Euros/Faith has been cutting her own wrists lately, and is suicidal (wears a gun in her handbag). Sherlock hangs on the railings of a bridge, but doesn’t jump. He tells Culverton Smith that he wants Smith to kill him. • TFP: Euros cut her own wrists when she was a kid “to see how my muscles work”. The parents thought it was a suicide attempt. John and Sherlock are drugged with tranquilizers.

These are far too many references to the same two themes, in order to be just a coincidence! Why so much talk of suicide, if these are detective stories about murder cases? And what’s with the constant nagging about drugs? In my opinion, whatever the answers are to the greatest enigmas of BBC Sherlock, they have to do with drugs and they have to do with suicide. And I also think TSoT is a turning point, parting from which the show displays an increasing weirdness from HLV and onwards throughout Series 4, because John’s wedding is a crime scene and Sherlock is the victim. And from HLV most of the plot takes place inside Sherlock’s Extended Mind Palace (EMP theory).

My working hypothesis for the moment is this: Sherlock didn’t actually get shot with a bullet; he overdosed drugs shortly after John’s wedding in a suicide attempt caused by heartbreak. John marrying someone else broke Sherlock’s heart. That’s why he imagines ‘Mary’ shooting him in her wedding dress. That’s also why we see him hospitalized so often from HLV and onwards, and why nurse Cornish says in TLD that he has ‘made a mess of himself’. Sherlock is dying from the drugs, but he has to wake up and survive in order to save John from committing suicide.

The villains are basically metaphors. Moriarty is Homophobia and ’Mary’ is Heteronormativity. They work together to keep Sherlock and John from having a relationship and to drive them to suicide. This could be achieved, in Sherlock’s case, by making him realize he has fallen in love, then break his heart and let drugs and self-harm do the rest. In John’s case killing Sherlock (by suicide) could achieve it. Sherlock fears that John would kill himself with his gun; that’s why we see firing guns so often from HLV and onwards. And I do believe this entire part of the show happens inside Sherlock’s mind (EMP theory).

Homophobia (Jim) is there to instil fear, to frighten Sherlock away from John, to have Sherlock believe he’s a monstrous sociopath who isn’t ‘good’ for John and not worthy of him. In most scenes we see Jim, he is extremely sexualized, but in a creepy and frightening way, often flirting with thoughts of suicide: 

Sherlock says in ASiB that sex doesn’t alarm him, but he still seems terrified to talk about it even with John in his own mind palace in TAB. John’s love for Sherlock is ridiculed (Jim calls him a ‘pet’) and made to appear as an unhealthy obsession.

Heteronormativity (’Mary’) makes it clear that an ordinary life - according to the norm - is the best for John; marrying a woman and go live in the suburbs with kids, car and a steady, ‘normal’ job. Unfortunately, John seems to have bought into this norm in spite of his own feelings, and Sherlock is made to believe this is the only life that can make John happy. And if he takes any step towards making this same-sex relationship reality, which would imply telling John how he feels about him, ‘Mary’ threatens to kill him.

In HLV, TAB and S4 Sherlock (in his Mind Palace) seems to go out of his way to find excuses for ‘Mary’; to glorify her and try to redeem her. What she has done to him is completely glossed over and never more addressed until Mary’s dying moment (which still happens inside his mind). But I think ‘Mary’s treacherous behaviour and her theatrical, unrealistic death in T6T are signs that Sherlock’s subconscious is aware that the lie of heteronormativity is not what either he or John needs; ‘Mary’ must actually go. But the fact that Sherlock subconsciously wants to get rid of ‘Mary’ makes him feel terrible guilt, fuelled by his low self-esteem: 

(I’ve tried to express my ideas about these metaphors in these posts: X, X, X and X)

So – what evidence is there for these wild theories?

In this ‘script’ from ASiP published on BBC’s website, we get this scene, which seems to have been left out in the final version:

(Lestrade and Sherlock are standing on the roof top of Scotland Yard talking about the case of repeated suicides; my bolding):

LESTRADE Okay. What am I getting wrong this time? SHERLOCK No notes. No prior sign. Each of them in a strange location that means nothing to them where they’ve never gone before... That’s not how I’d kill myself. On Lestrade. Glances uneasily at the edge of the roof, where Sherlock is standing. LESTRADE ... So. How are you doing these days?

In other words: Sherlock would kill himself, but in a different way, presumably after a) leaving a note, b) some ‘prior sign’s, and c) he’d do it in a familiar place that means something to him.

In TAB we learn that Sherlock has made a list of all the drugs that he’s taken; a promise to his brother since years ago. That’s a kind of note – isn’t it? A note that could help saving his life after an overdose. In TLD Sherlock makes this deduction about Faith/Euros (Thanks to Ariane De Vere for her amazing work with transcripts); my bolding:

FAITH: Sex. How did you know I wasn’t ... getting any? SHERLOCK: It’s all about the blood. (Close-up of the bloodstain on the paper, which Sherlock now gestures to.) SHERLOCK: This one comes from the very first night. You can see the pen marks over it. I think you discovered that pain stimulated your memory, so you tried it again later. I’m no expert, but I assume that since your lover failed to notice an increasing number of scars over a period of months, that the relationship was no longer intimate.

The blood-stained paper Sherlock is talking about is Faith/Euros’ annotations – a note -, which she scribbled in a drug-induced state because she wanted to remember something important. If Faith/Euros is actually a part of Sherlock, what he says here is that he did leave an increasing number of ‘prior signs’ – ‘scars’ - for months before his suicide attempt. Problem is that no-one noticed his self-harm, because Sherlock never talks about his feelings. If Sherlock did suffer torture in Serbia (I’m not sure if the Serbian scene is real though; it seems over-dramatized to me and the guardian’s uniform is unrealistic), he would have had fresh scars on his back when John beat him three times after his return, but he didn’t even try to protect himself. And John didn’t know, because they no longer lived together. Sherlock’s heart (heart-shaped bomb in the subway) was nearly exploding in TEH, but he switched it off.  

I think Sherlock’s maniacal wedding planning when John was marrying another person is also a form of self-harm, which was difficult for John to realize. 

And the drugs are, of course, also self-harm, which Molly points out in HLV when she berates him about throwing away his gifts. In TLD we see Sherlock in a miserable state caused by the drugs he takes. 221B, which is probably the place that means most to him, is converted into a drug lab. Molly examines him and gets to the conclusion that he is dying from the drugs. 

Holmes’ drug use in ACD’s Canon I think it’s interesting to compare BBC Sherlock with what happens to Holmes’ private life in Arthur Conan Doyle’s original stories.

When Watson marries Mary Morstan and moves out from 221B, Holmes resorts to drug use (my bolding):

The Sign of the Four:  “The division seems rather unfair,” I remarked. “You have done all the work in this business. I get a wife out of it, Jones gets the credit, pray what remains for you”?  “For me,” said Sherlock Holmes, “there still remains the cocaine-bottle.” And he stretched his long white hand up for it.

A Scandal in Bohemia: “I had seen little of Holmes lately. My marriage had drifted us away from each other”. “Holmes, who loathed every form of society with his whole Bohemian soul, remained in our lodgings in Baker Street, buried among his old books, and alternating from week to week between cocaine and ambition, the drowsiness of the drug, and the fierce energy of his own keen nature”.  

The Final Problem: “It may be remembered that after my marriage, and my subsequent start in private practice, the very intimate relations which had existed between Holmes and myself became to some extent modified”.

Before Holmes ’falls’ with Moriarty in The Reichenbach Fall (The Final Problem) he leaves a note to Watson (= a classic reference to suicide). It’s known that the storyteller’s (Doyle’s, which could also be seen as Watson’s) intention was to let him die and end the story with Watson living an ordinary life with his wife and only nostalgic memories left from his time with Holmes. But the audience insisted until ACD/Watson resurrected Holmes and published new stories. By the time Holmes comes back, however, Mary has died. Eventually, Watson moves back to Baker Street.

As ACD’s stories continue and the two men keep on solving crimes together, Watson seems to still be worried about Holmes drug use. 

The Devil’s Foot: “It was, then, in the spring of the year 1897 that Holmes’s iron constitution showed some symptoms of giving way in the face of constant hard work of a most exacting kind, aggravated, perhaps, by occasional indiscretions of his own”.

In this adventure Watson has taken Holmes on vacation to Cornwall, after another doctor’s recommendation that he must rest. But they soon get involved in a case where a mystic drug makes people insane. Holmes experiments with the drug during their investigation, and nearly has them both killed. But when Watson has saved them and Holmes realizes what he’s done, he gets a bit emotional: 

“Slowly it rose from our souls like the mists from a landscape until peace and reason had returned, and we were sitting upon the grass, wiping our clammy foreheads, and looking with apprehension at each other to mark the last traces of that terrific experience which we had undergone”.

“Upon my word, Watson!” said Holmes at last with an unsteady voice, “I owe you both my thanks and an apology. It was an unjustifiable experiment even for one’s self, and doubly so for a friend. I am really very sorry.” “You know,” I answered with some emotion, for I had never seen so much of Holmes’s heart before, “that it is my greatest joy and privilege to help you.”

The Missing Three Quarter: “For years I had gradually weaned him from that drug mania which had threatened once to check his remarkable career”.

This makes me believe that Watson is the actual reason why Holmes eventually abstains from drug use. After Watson married, Holmes nearly killed himself. But when he got his Watson back he eventually managed to leave the drugs for Watson’s sake. In BBC Sherlock’s Victorian episode TAB we can also see how upset Watson is by Holmes’ drug use:

In canon, considering the time it was written, a romantic relationship between Holmes and Watson could not be even hinted at. I believe Holmes’ heartbreak is implied in the subtext, however, by the mention of his drug use in relation to Watson’s marriage. 

Another observation that I think is important in comparison with BBC Sherlock is that in canon Holmes never gets shot – certainly not by Watson’s wife - and he never murders anyone. These events in HLV stray so far away from canon, that it seems like we’re entering a totally different story. Which is one of the reasons I think it’s actually not happening; instead, we enter into Sherlock’s Extended Mind Palace (EMP theory).

Why does the story get so weird after TSoT? I firmly believe that John’s wedding is a crime scene and Sherlock is the victim; it’s a description of delayed stabbing where the wound inflicted on the victim eventually makes him commit suicide. 

Two cases of intended murder are referred to during the’ wedding reception, and even John’s stag night before the wedding has ‘murder scenes’ as a theme. The idea of the wedding as Sherlock’s crime scene is, in my opinion, supported by a series of factors:

1. The intensive attention Sherlock pays to minute planning details like who is sitting with whom, the colour of the bride’s maid’s dresses and how the serviettes are folded seems like a desperate burst of OCD. Sherlock normally hates social gatherings and he particularly despises weddings, which he doesn’t fail to point out several times in his Best Man’s speech. And yet he shows this complete dedication to wedding details  – just like he’d pay close attention to the minute details on a real crime scene.

2. It’s also supported by Sherlock’s deductions about what kind of person could only be killed at a wedding and why:

This description fits with Sherlock himself. It’s even spelled out by Mrs Hudson: 

3. Major Sholto – who seems to be a mirror for Sherlock – is stabbed in the back (delayed murder), but even after he’s made aware of this, he threatens to kill himself inside a locked room by opening the wounds already inflicted on him by the Mayfly Man (a mirror for John). Sherlock agrees with Sholto that one should embrace the proper time to die when it comes – just not at John’s wedding!

4. Sherlock seems heartbroken (probably almost suicidal) already at the wedding, and his utter self-loathing shows in the speech, where he calls himself the most horrible things. He’s on the verge of tears when he says he can now congratulate John on his choice of new companion. When he talks about the new story about to begin as replacement to his and John’s ‘frankly ridiculous adventures’, he seems to write himself out of their story completely. But I think he loves John too much to ruin his big day, so he ‘soldiers on’ (both Sherlock and Major Sholto were preparing for ‘battle’ in the morning of the wedding day). Sherlock even leaves a note - the sheet music with the notes of the song he has composed for John - and disappears early from the wedding. 

5. After John’s wedding in TSoT, John stops updating his blog. Sherlock takes over and posts some pics from the wedding makes one last post (a note?) when John is on honeymoon with Mary. After this there are no more posts on John’s blog.

To me the moment when John’s blog ceases to update is an important point in the story arc; it’s testimony that the show passes from ‘truth’ to ‘poetry’. I think we should read the blog thoroughly and watch out for sequences in the show that are not referenced in John’s blog; any ‘adventure’ that is not described by John looks suspicious to me. After TSoT we no longer have any reference or ‘second opinion’ to check what’s going on, and from now on the narrative gets more and more incoherent, fantastical and bizarre. As if someone on crack has dreamt it up… ;)

The derailing story arc by S. Holmes In HLV we see Sherlock resorting to drugs after the wedding, just like in canon. Later, when ‘Mary’ shoots him in the chest, Sherlock’s MP!Moriarty talks about heartbreak and loss. His MP!Molly talks about the pain that’s going to kill him if he can’t supress it.  But wait – how can Sherlock feel the pain of the gunshot if he’s unconscious after three seconds? That doesn’t make sense to me. And what has heartbreak and loss to do with a gunshot? Furthermore: the whole story of Sherlock Holmes getting shot isn’t even mentioned on John’s blog, in spite of the repercussion such an event must have had in the media. But by then the blog is no longer being updated (and yet we see John typing and typing on it in T6T)...

In his mind palace Sherlock sees ‘Mary’ shooting him when she is dressed as a bride. In the Victorian setting of TAB, Sherlock tries to solve a case where a bride murders her husband after he leaves a drug den. She has faked her own suicide, and then she re-appears as a vindictive ghost (hmm, that sounds familiar...)  Sherlock wakes up on a plane, after having overdosed on a mortal mix of drugs. What if the shooting in HLV is merely Sherlock’s drugged brain’s interpretation of the heartbreak of loosing John? What if Sherlock OD:d already early in HLV, and the rest happens in his imagination?

I believe that HLV, TAB and the whole of S4 happen inside Sherlock’s mind. Sherlock, who now tries to imagine himself through John’s eyes, orchestrates all of this ‘play’. But the detective isn’t good at writing detective stories; he needs his Blogger for that.

While John is a somewhat unreliable narrator who romanticizes some things and twists the truth a bit when he feels the need to make the story more attractive, Sherlock just can’t put together a coherent story. Sherlock has the brain of a scientist, and he tries to be a logical person on the outside, detached from Sentiment. But his inner self is highly emotional, and in his heart he has always wanted to be a pirate; he hates boredom. He’s a ‘drama queen’ who constantly exaggerates mundane events and personalities that John would have described more dutifully, albeit in a romanticized context. But Sherlock takes them, converts them into Drama and lets them play out against each other in different scenarios (=experiments), to see what happens. ‘Euros’ in TLD and TFP, and all her incarnations, are all parts of his experimental self.

HLV, TAB and Series 4 are Sherlock’s Big Drama, and at the same time his inner journey towards understanding his own feelings and ‘what to do about John’. He re-cycles John’s earlier words and descriptions of their ‘adventures’ and puts them together in new, bizarre ways, using his vast source of imagination; his brain. Sherlock adds some dramatic ideas from movies and theater and tries to fit it all into John’s narrative framework, but fails miserably. Which, taken at face value, makes S4 a disaster of doom and gloom, ending in a nightmarish horror story where heteronormativity (’Mary’) is still looming over them. Sherlock is the drug user, not John, and his drug-induced story soon derails into absurdity; he needs John to tell him (and us) a better story.

How can a better story be told? I think John is the man to do this; he’s the best storyteller, but that’s for Series 5. However, I do believe Sherlock has learned a lot about both himself and John in his gloomy and heartbreaking inner scenarios, which gives him a good emotional starting point for the next series. The most important acquired knowledge is probably that he needs to stay alive (= not commit suicide) in order to save John Watson. I believe the one thing that may have left a window open for him surviving his suicide attempt was his ‘last vow’ in TSoT:

Already in HLV he realizes that “John Watson is definitely in danger”. He feels he must stay alive for John’s safety, and later (in TLD) he also realizes that “your life is not your own - take your hands off it!” He promised to be there for John, and he needs to keep his promise so John can trust him, which I believe John reminds him of in his EMP scenario in T6T:

Sherlock has been thinking he can protect John by sacrificing his own life (that’s what the principal villains have told him), but he’s been wrong; he can only save John by staying alive. Staying alive is the solution to The Final Problem.

But to really be there for each other, they both need to work together to defeat the worst villains of the story: homophobia and heteronormativity. It’s also essential that Sherlock learn to embrace his own feelings – especially towards John – and express them clearly. 

Sherlock can now defeat Moriarty/Homophobia by acknowledging the value of the very thing Jim tries to frighten him with: his own sexual and romantic attraction to John. Instead of seeing his own love as something dangerous; a weakness, ‘a vicious motivator’ and a culprit that will lead to harm for John, he must recognize and embrace it:

As for ‘Mary’, I think the most important things to remember about her is that she’s a façade used to uphold heteronormativity (and I firmly believe that was her purpose in ACD canon as well), and a liar who’s up to no good. 

Thus, she needs to be defeated for the story arc to be complete. To defeat her, Sherlock and John must stop trusting her, stop believing in her lies and ultimately reveal them for what they are. Which means that both John and Sherlock need to come out of their respective closets; John has to stop worrying about that “people might talk” and Sherlock has to drop his ‘sociopath’ façade and give in to some Sentiment. And I think – and hope – that at some point in Series 5 we will finally see them start working together to achieve this.

ETA: This turned out to be a meta series in five parts; you can find the rest here: [Part II] [Part III] [Part IV] [Part V]

[spaceman-earthgirl]

This prompt was too good to pass up, but basically, I’m too lazy and have too many other things that I want to write to write this properly, so I wrote a shorter version, with more detail in the actual kiss scene because that’s the part I wanted to write anyway. Thanks for reading.

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Kara and Alex switch bodies. It’s completely out of the blue and entirely inconvenient, not just because they’re now in the wrong bodies, but because Kara had been mid-flight and now there’s a Supergirl-sized hole in the city that they have no way of explaining.

Winn and Alex run all the tests they can think of but come up with nothing, nothing seems to explain the sudden body swap.

Kara is a little jealous of just how fast Alex adjusts to having powers. She may have been caught off guard with the falling at the beginning but she quickly adjusts to the strength and even manages to hover. The glasses help with the hearing and x-ray vision but she does almost accidentally uses her laser eyes on an unsuspecting DEO agent.

Tracing their steps is their next plan, they weren’t together when the swap happened, so it could’ve been something that happened earlier that day. They split up, Kara going to Alex’s apartment and Maggie’s precinct, to avoid any suspicion, while Alex goes to CatCo and L-Corp.

They both know each other well enough to fool anyone into thinking they’re each other.

(Maggie figures it out right away that Alex is Kara, which is scary but also really impressive. Kara finds nothing and returns to the DEO empty-handed with a promise to Maggie that she’ll get Alex to call her).

CatCo is a bust, though Alex has a run-in with Snapper that she’s going to have to apologise for when she next sees Kara.

Alex arrives at L-Corp next, confident she’s not going to find anything, but also confident in her abilities to trick Lena. It’s not hard, smile and look at little love sick at Lena, she’s seen the look on Kara’s face enough times that she thinks she can do it too.

“Twice in one day? To what do I owe this visit?”

If Alex isn’t mistaken, Lena is definitely flirting. God, these two are ridiculous. Maybe she should do something, say something to Lena right now, give them both a push in the right direction.

She doesn’t, only because it’s a little mean and she thinks Kara may kill her.

“Donuts,” Alex says, hoping her smile isn’t too wide. “I thought you might like some.” She also just needed an excuse to get in here again, though she’s pretty sure she could’ve just said she missed her and Lena would’ve accepted it.

“You’re my favourite,” Lena says, stepping close and then suddenly she’s too close, Alex desperately reminding herself not to recoil, she needs to keep her cover intact, for Kara’s sake

But then Lena’s even closer, definitely closer than two friends should be before lips are on hers, sure and soft and entirely wrong.

Alex does recoil this time, in horror, mouth hanging open in a mix of confusion and a little grossed out. Lena is like a sister to her, and sisters do not do that.

And as far as she’s aware, neither do Kara and Lena.

“Are you okay?” Lena frowns, looking a little put out as she rocks backwards.

Alex has to stop herself from jumping out the window. She can fly now, she could. “I’m fine.” She doesn’t sound fine. Shit, this is not how this was meant to go, she was meant to get in, take a quick look around Lena’s office for anything out of the ordinary.

“Darling, you don’t sound fine, has something happened?”

“Darling?” Alex chokes. She doesn’t meant to, but the word just falls out in shock. Since when did Kara and Lena kiss and use words like ‘darling’?

Lena’s eyes narrow, and she knows she’s in trouble. “Who are you?

“I’m...,” Alex thinks about pretending, but she doesn’t think she’ll get away with it. Snapper she needed to hide from, but she doesn’t need to from Lena. “I’m Alex”

Lena’s eyes widen. “Alex?”

“It’s a long story, but Kara and I swapped bodies and we’re trying to figure out why.”

“Oh fuck,” Lena says, hand rising to her lips.

“Yeah. Since when have you two been...” Alex doesn’t know how to finish that sentence.

“Umm...maybe that’s a conversation you should have with your sister. Also,” Lena wipes at her lips this time. “Please don’t tell Kara we kissed.”

The first thing Alex does when she gets back to the DEO is to tell Kara that Lena kissed her. Kara is half horrified, half sorry she hadn’t told her sister about them in the first place. That’s a longer conversation for later though.

Alex had managed to fly back to the DEO so Lena arrives not long later by car, intent on helping them switch back. They do, eventually, it’s a team effort but they figure out what happened and switch back.

Kara and Maggie still give Alex and Lena shit for kissing that one time to this day, which always leads to blushing and arguing from Alex that Kara shouldn’t have been keeping their relationship a secret in the first place.

AU in which Kara and Alex body swap and she doesn't know supercorp are dating, so she goes to L-corp to "keep the cover" and Lena kisses her as soon as she gets into the office

This is one I’d love to read, if someone else does the writing...