#it’s bad enough that I feel so easily irritable and angry right now for no reason

[yolli-es]

Please, I'm really sorry

Tags: NO spoilers for season 2, sadness, rude treatment, mentions of death

I doubt this is in character, so treat it as a silly sketch. Writing text is harder than headcanons..

MY ENGLISH IS BAD AND THERE MAY BE MEANING ERRORS

You adore Jinx; you love and tolerate her. Your acquaintance was unexpected, and your subsequent friendship was spontaneous. You were choking with tears after losing your mother when she found you. This girl saved you so easily, as if it were so easy. Jinx never told you about the past, but when the voices in her head became too loud, you didn't need an explanation. You saw how bad she becomes and what consequences it can bring. Afterwards, you promise yourself to always be there so that you can prevent the irreparable. This was not always successful.

After Silko died, things got really bad. Jinx tried to continue his work, to be strong and collected. But this is Jinx. Your Jinx. And she never was and never will be like this. Maybe that's why she's been so rude to you, taking it out on you because she's under so much stress. Sooner or later it will all end, and she will be able to look at you again without irritation.

You forgive Jinx for everything: the harsh words, the insults, the hits. Because she always apologizes after. And you don't care that it's not sincere at all. You love her; she is the only thing you have.

The day started out quite normally. You and Jinx were sitting in Silko's office, which is still called that way to this day, on the initiative of Jinx herself. It was all quite nice: she decided to share with you many thoughts about the future, which happened quite rarely. But then Sevika came in. And with her came terrible news. Shimmer production had been disrupted again. The enforcers blew up the plant, dealing with the guards there without any particular problems. And she just walked out after saying that. Just one look from Jinx made it clear how bad she was feeling right now,

"It's not your fault, and..." — you're interrupted by a rude "shut up." Jinx, who had been sitting on the table quite relaxed, now clutched her head, her eyes closed, and her breathing quickened. Just a few moments ago she was vulnerable, and now she's rude to you again. "You don't understand me at all," Jinx said in a breaking voice, hiding her face in her knees. It was painful to hear. We have been through a lot together. But she's worse off, and you step over yourself again: "I love you, Jinx. What do you want me to do?". You tell her this so often, so sincerely and naively. Her reaction to your words is always different; you can never guess, and now she again hits you: "I want you to stop being so useless and just help me." Jinx whispered, still struggling with her emotions. She hadn't let herself get angry, panicked, or sad that easily since Silko died. No tears. She kept herself under control. And is that what she thought all along? It's your fault; you're just doing a shitty job. Obviously, sitting here with her is not what she wanted. It looks so painful for you. The girl you love is suffering so much; why don't you just make it easier? That day you stayed, having endured many insults and a couple of blows.

Usually you stayed by Jinx's side, always supporting her and helping her with many tasks. For example, maintaining her authority in the city, keeping an eye out for possible rats nearby, and always saving your love from nervous breakdowns. But now you're by Sevika's side, at a shimmer production plant. You didn't tell Jinx anything; you didn't even think she would ask and worry. You need to act more decisively, as she wanted it. The task was simple: wait until the enforcers come here and destroy them. You were never a good fighter, just a decent shot. Your skills were enough to protect yourself on the streets of Zaun, but they were nothing against well-trained law enforcement officers. That's why you stayed on the sidelines, watching from above and covering Sevika.

You realized how much you screwed up with this shit when you found yourself in the middle of a shootout. Things didn't go according to plan when Sevika was shot, and now you had to save her. Letting the woman lean on you, you ran upstairs. The sounds of gunshots, explosions, and screams confirmed your fears: this plant is finished. Neither the shimmer nor the people were saved. Adrenaline was pumping through you, and you didn't notice anything except the cherished goal.

You reached a safe place and fell. The rest was like a dream. Sevika sat next to you, trying to close the open wound. She tied it with a rag, shouting something about the presence of shimmer nearby. The wound seems to be on your legs, chest, and head. It was painful and cold. Severe weakness. How the hell did enforcers get you? You couldn't think, let alone remember. This woman was shaking you, trying to make you think, but you had already given up. You had lost, and you had screwed up so badly, Jinx would never forgive you. Sevika shouted something, and you didn't really listen; you just couldn't. And then your gaze focused on a blue spot... Jinx? You wanted to look at her one last time. She may be disappointed in you, angry, or simply empty towards you, but all this will not matter as long as she is here. Your eyes closed for just a moment.

" ...orr..."—You can't see, only distantly hear. Such a nice sound; you've heard it before. The noise makes you open your eyes again. A flash of light disorientated you. Straining your eyes, you managed to make out a silhouette in front of you. It was Jinx, and... she was crying. She was in complete disarray, desperately holding your face. She bit her lips every time she wanted to swallow the lump in her throat and continue talking. She was talking to you. What was she saying? Your damn body is so weak. "Hold on, just breathe. Please, I'm really sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you...",-She repeated it over and over while you felt the shimmer being injected into your body. You wanted to calm her down, to say "I love you" back. And all you did was watch silently. Your eyelids were so heavy, and your body suddenly seemed too weightless. You were being yelled at, shaken, and pricked with a shimmer stabbed over and over. And you were too weak to respond to it, closing your eyes one last time.

Jinx sincerely apologizes this time. It's a pity that your mind was too weak to realize this.

it was short, unclear and stupid 🥴 Wrote this in a hurry while I'm taking a break from studying and writing other things.

[how-gross]

July 25, 2023 — 7:01pm

Rlly wanna tell my therapist how for the past year and maybe the years before that, I have not felt actually happy even when doing exciting, fun stuff with my friends and family. Like I feel like I don’t feel actually alive, not at all, instead I feel as though I’m just going through the motions, not genuinely expediting anything with hope or joy but just the feeling that I have to.

Like, during those times, such as my trip to Puerto Rico, or my trip last year to Schlitterbahn Water Park, the little hangouts I would go to with my friends or when I hang out with my friends— It actually feels like I don’t feel anything, and it feels like I’m faking my happiness.

And it’s not just that but I feel as though nobody will ever truly and genuinely try to help me, it just feels as though they would only help me to benefit themselves and they don’t actually care about me. It’s hard for me to believe anyone actually cares about me. It feels like can’t trust anyone to truly be there for me, I can’t believe anyone when they say they’re there for me and they truly care for me without believing they have ulterior motives. I can’t cry to my mom about these things because she’ll think I’m different from her perfect little girl and she’ll think I have to go to a mental hospital (at this point who knows) and the most she’ll do to help is claim I need to pray to God and ask him to take it away, and my dad won’t do shit because he’s a deadbeat asshat who complains when I ask him to help with school (even though he barely does anything; which is why I don’t ask him for stuff).

But don’t know how to explain that to her without her thinking I’m faking or thinking it’s extreme enough to send me to a mental hospital— idk man I’m scared.

[maiiuelle]

˚❀˚

as we all know, jj is not a fan of cops. so, you can imagine how angry he’d be getting a call that you’re locked up.

it's sort of a game of telephone actually. you called kiara from the jail, pleading with her not to tell jj knowing how he'd react. but, with her parents grounding her from any more involvement in pogue business, she didn't really have a choice. so, she told pope, who immediately told jj.

luckily, your offense wasn't serious, you'd been having a bad day already and decided to go on an innocent bike ride. jj was kind enough to have slipped a joint into your backpack for an occasion like this, which you happily lit up to get your mind off of everything. your mistake was riding through the rich side of the island, some kook must've seen you and called the station to complain about who-knows-what, and the smell of weed sticking to your skin made it easier for shoupe to find you. you complied, letting him haul you in the back of his cruiser while he lectured you about drug possession and public intoxication. must be a slow day.

now you're sat in the lobby of the police station, hands bound together in metal cuffs, resting in your lap. you're barely high anymore, the light feeling in your head replaced by irritation. you hear jj before you see him, and the sound of his booming voice makes your heart sink.

"where d'ya even have her? huh, plumb?" you squeeze your eyes shut, the heat of his anger growing closer and closer.

"you need to relax, maybank." she hisses, rounding the corner before him and stopping at the sight of you. she crosses her arms, almost amused. "she's right here."

your blonde boyfriend stomps in after her, wide eyes searching the room before landing on you. he's disheveled, clearly having been in a rush to get here. you don't know what to do other than to stare back at him doe eyed. deputy plumb comes to your side and hoists you to stand with a hand on your arm, spinning you roughly so she can start to unlock the cuffs.

“alright—let’s make this quick.” shoupe’s voice draws everyone’s attention, a stack of papers in his hands that he offers to jj. “i’m doin’ her a favor, just a written warning.”

jj snatches the papers from him, superficially looking them over and then using them to point at the deputy. “you’re outta your mind, shoupe. i can’t believe—“

“i suggest—“ shoupe cuts him off, and jj’s jaw clenches. “—you kids get on home now. we’ve got some real work to do.”

deputy plumb lets you go, clipping the cuffs to her belt and nudging you toward jj. “and keep the dope on the cut.” you look back at her, keeping your mouth shut as you slink over to jj’s side.

“can count on kildare P.D., ain’t that right?” jj keeps his eyes on the officers, face red with anger as he adjusts his hat and starts walking toward the door. you stick close to him, feeling better attached to his side even if he’s angrier than you’ve ever seen him. “pickin’ on teenage girls — real tough, shoupe. pretty sure y’all got bigger fish to fry, maybe focus on that.”

on the way out of the station, he’s silent. he doesn’t look at you or say a word until you reach the twinkie, where john b is sitting patiently in the driver’s seat. you feel real bad now, realizing you brought everyone into this mess that you could have easily avoided. jj stops at the front of the van, and you follow suit, anxiously biting your lip.

“jayj, i really didn’t mean to cause a whole—“

“nobody’s upset, sugar. relax.” he takes a second to look you over, running his hands down your arms and scanning over your body. “didn’t rough you up in there, did they?”

you shake your head. “oh, no. i’m fine.”

“good.” he brushes your hair over your shoulder, letting his hand linger by your jaw to pull you into a kiss. “least y’got a little street cred now, huh?” his calloused thumb rubs across your cheek, and a warm smile spreads across his face. you’re relieved, in the end really grateful that your boyfriend came to save the day.

˚❀˚

[runninriot]

Small Treasures To Keep

inspired by the prompt 'Love is not in the big things but in the small ones' by @sidekick-hero written for @steddielovemonth day 9

wc: 1.472 | rated: G | cw: none | tags: Musician Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington has a crush, just sweet boys being sweet, friends to lovers

   “There were like, at least 200 people there! And they were actually enjoying our show! Can you believe that? It was amazing, Steve! They listened to us play, and banged their heads, and they cheered after every song. Some of them even asked if we had any merch with us and obviously we didn’t but we gave out autographs and- Oh! I almost forgot! I got you something! I’ll be right back.” Eddie nearly topples off the couch in excitement.

Steve watches him with a smile on his face, equally amused and charmed by Eddie’s dorky behaviour, and bites back a laugh when Eddie almost stumbles over his own feet as he hurries towards his bedroom.

Eddie is a menace. So strange and irritating at times but in such an endearing way it’s impossible not to like him.

Steve’s been listening to him talk non-stop since he arrived at his trailer about ten minutes ago. Talking himself breathless while recounting the events of Corroded Coffin’s first real gig, as Eddie calls it.

Steve can’t blame Eddie for being so over the moon, so overjoyed and proud. So thrilled to have gotten the chance to play as substitute opener for some Indiana metal band last night.

It must’ve been a blast, by the sounds of what Eddie’s been telling him. And Steve really is happy for him but somewhere deep down he’s still a little sad. Because he was supposed to be there for the show, to watch his friend perform in a venue four times the size of The Hideout, in front of an actual crowd. But Steve had been caught up at work because Keith called in sick last minute, leaving Steve in charge of the closing shift at Family Video which meant he couldn't make it out in time for the gig.

That really sucked.

Steve had been looking forward to the concert ever since Eddie asked him if he wanted to come see them play. When he told him it would mean a lot if he did. That he’d appreciate to have his emotional support there because he’d been so nervous about the whole thing.

It made Steve feel special, in a way. Like he’s important to Eddie, important enough for Eddie to want him there. For wanting Steve to witness the most exciting moment in the band’s history since Gareth’s mom had finally relented and let them use the garage for their rehearsals.

Steve had wanted to be there.

So, not being able to go was utterly frustrating. Not only because he really would’ve loved to watch Eddie play his guitar on a real stage but also because he kind of felt like he let Eddie down.

It was a miracle he even got a hold on him over the phone to tell him the unfortunate news. Eddie was just about to leave and make his way to the venue when Steve called him. (He would've already been out of the house had he not spilled a drink on his shirt and needed to change.)

Steve was gutted when he heard Eddie let out a heavy sigh, felt a pang in his heart at the defeat in Eddie’s voice when he told him that it was okay.

He felt horrible, like a bad friend. Unreliable and disappointing.

But then Eddie told him he understood and not to worry his pretty head about it. Said he wasn't angry, just sad because he wouldn’t be able to look out for Steve in the crowd when his nerves got the better of him.

    “Promise you’ll think of me?” Eddie had asked and the promise spilled easily over Steve’s lips because-

Well. When is he not thinking about Eddie?

The guy with the unruly mane and chocolate brown eyes. The guy with the cheeky smile and a passion for teasing words. Whose small flirty gestures get Steve’s blood boiling and make his heart jump.

He’s on Steve’s mind constantly because he’s a constant in his life now. A good friend, a kind soul. Annoying, and loud, and wonderful to be around.

Eddie is-

    “Ah, fuck!”

The clattering sound of something takes Steve out of his thoughts and he can’t help but chuckle when he turns towards the noise and his eyes fall on Eddie, helplessly fumbling with the chain hanging from his belt loops that got stuck on the door handle.

When he's finally managed to free himself, he speed walks over to Steve with a big grin on his face. Eddie comes to a stop right in front of him, expectantly looking down at Steve as he triumphantly holds up a crinkled piece of paper, waiting for him to take it.

   “What is that?” Steve asks, confused and unable to identify what he’s now holding in his hands.

Upon closer look he realises it’s a flyer, or it had been one before someone decided to tear it in half. Steve can barely make out some dates and half of the name of a venue, thinks it might be one for the show last night.

   “Look at the back,” Eddie says and his smile widens even more.

When Steve turns it around, he sees the Corroded Coffin logo scribbled on the backside of the paper. Beneath the band’s name, he immediately recognizes Eddie’s squiggly handwriting, thinks he can make out the names of the other band member’s too.

Steve looks back up at Eddie, returning the smile as he realises what this is.

   “You got me an autograph? That’s so cool! Thanks, Eds!”

   “Not just any autograph. It’s the first. When people came asking for autographs we panicked a bit because no one had ever wanted us to sign anything. So we practiced. What you have there is the first piece of paper Corroded Coffin have ever signed. Gareth wanted to throw it away but I saved it because I wanted you to have it. Y’know, uh, because you couldn’t come to the show and I, uhm, I still wanted to share the experience with you.”

Eddie’s face turns bright red and he seems nervous all of a sudden.

And Steve just... stares. Lets his eyes drift between Eddie and the small treasure he’s holding in his hands.

It might just be a piece of paper, some might even call it trash. But to Steve this is something precious. Something he’ll hold onto forever because Eddie gave it to him. Eddie thought about him when he should’ve been buzzing with ecstasy over their successful gig.

   “That’s-“ Steve doesn’t know what to say.

So instead of talking he stands up and pulls Eddie into a tight embrace, feels his heart beating like crazy when Eddie returns it with his own arms wrapped around Steve.

   “I love it,” Steve says, keeps other words hidden inside.

They tentatively let go of each other, still staying close, still standing toe to toe.

   “Maybe it’ll be worth some money if me and the guys make it big one day.”

It already is Steve’s most valuable possession.

   “When, not if,” Steve says matter-of-factly, holding the paper close to his heart.

   “You really think so?” Eddie asks, voice hushed like it’s a secret wish that might come true if he doesn't jinx it.

   “Mhm.” Steve nods. “But I would never sell this autograph. I’ll frame it and keep it forever.”

   “You will?” Eddie asks, a little disbelieving but also...

    Hopeful?

And for a moment they just stand there, looking at each other wide-eyed and red-cheeked, both flustered and shy. Smiling.

   “Forever,” Steve says honestly, more meaning to the word than he’s ready to admit.

-

A few months later Steve finally gets to see Eddie and his band play on a real stage, in front of an actual crowd. He’s there in the front row, cheering for Eddie, buzzing with joy and pride.

And when their eyes meet in the middle of a song Steve doesn’t yet know is about him, he decides he’s going to tell Eddie that he loves him.

-

And when years later a reporter asks Corroded Coffin’s manager – who’s known to have been close friends with the guys forever (there are even unconfirmed speculations about him and the lead singer being lovers) – at which point in life he knew they had made it, Steve smiles and says “When I held their first autograph in my hands”.

The reporter laughs and the other band members roll their eyes fondly at the cheesy response. But Eddie looks at him and returns the smile, unnoticable for anyone other than Steve. And in that moment it means more to him than the gold ring he's secretly wearing on a chain around his neck. It means more than success and what they've accomplished in life.

It's a small thing, a hidden 'I love you'.

Another small treasure to keep.

[mikanotes]

my love, mine all mine

xiao x gn!reader — 1.5k words.

genre: angst, comfort, not at all established relationship but the feelings are there

warnings: mentions of death, implied (kinda) stalking (nothing bad), reader is not the traveler (reader is never the traveler with me)

synopsis: Xiao struggles and attempts to understand why he shouldn't constantly be watching over you.

author's note: no way i'm back? that's crazy

Xiao doesn’t believe it’s odd to make sure the only person he truly cares for is doing well at all times.

“You’ve been following me.” you say, and there’s an accusatory edge to your voice despite the calmness of it. Xiao feels it cut his skin. It’s uncomfortable enough to make him rethink his choices for a second.

But he doesn’t understand. “No.” he states, flat. It’s a blatant lie but the tone of your voice makes him feel like he shouldn’t be completely honest, right now. “I come when you call my name. As we agreed.” he adds, for good measure.

You tilt your head to the side, eyes never leaving his. It’s like you’re trying to read him. No matter how nervous it makes him feel, he’s certain his gaze does not betray him. He looks as uninterested as he usually does. And surely, you sigh and return to your original position, seemingly a bit confused.

“That isn’t true.”

Xiao gulps. He furrows his eyebrows, features pulling into a slight scowl. His expression urges for further explanation.

“I mean,” you sigh, crossing your arms. Your eyes move elsewhere as you think. “You’ve come to help me several times before, without me even calling your name. There’s no point in denying that.”

“I was nearby.” he counters, “Should I just ignore you, then?” his voice turns to a scoff, now. He’s annoyed. Or just trying to cover anxiousness.

“Xiao.” you say, and your voice is soft but it sounds like a warning. “Let’s not do this. Just be honest with me. You’re following me.”

He looks away, his expression faltering. He looks more upset than irritated, now. The crowds of people walking around Liyue Harbor are a dull noise background to this scene. He wishes it was less full of people, more peaceful— Though you’re standing near the entrance gate, and it’s much quieter there. He wants time and space and silence to process his thoughts, and yours, and his emotions, and yours. He’s not usually this picky, but he wants to understand properly.

He just needs to make sure you’re okay. He has the ability to do so whenever he isn’t busy, so he figures he should. But the way you’re talking about this makes him think this isn’t considered regular behavior to… Normal people.

He thinks about the best way to word this before he speaks. It takes a while.

“… I don’t want to lose you.” he almost whispers, voice so soft it could easily be lost to the noise in the background. He doesn’t meet your gaze, no matter how persistent it is. He wants to say why, he wants to insist that he just needs you to be safe, wants to tell you that he’d be willing to spend every second of his life making sure you’re alright if he had the time—

“I’ll quit watching over you so much if you really dislike it.” — He settles for this. After all, he shouldn’t be overstepping any boundaries. But he’s unfamiliar with humans. He’s not used to what is too much, and the opposite. When it comes to you, it gets so much worse. He’s never cared this much— Not in centuries, probably not ever.

“I can take care of myself.”

Xiao almost feels angry, and it shows in his eyes when he looks back up at you. “You’re mortal.”

You give him a look. “And I’m alive. I can take care of myself.”

“And you could die.”

“So could you.”

Xiao stammers slightly and looks away, closing his lips. He wants to say you’re not half as careful as he is, but it just isn’t true. There’s no excuses to use. He sighs sharply, before bringing his gaze back up to you. “Your point being?”

“That I don’t want you to die, either.” you exhale, eyes a bit wide. “I care about you and I want you to be safe— Hell, Xiao, you have no idea what it’s like watching you suffer so much and stay unable to do a single thing about it. I can’t help you, and I can’t even tell you to take a rest, because you’re terribly stubborn. It’s frustrating. And yet I go on with my life, because I have to.”

The wind blows. It’s cold.

He cannot count the times he’s watched the anxiety in your eyes each time he would come back to Wangshu Inn with more injuries than usual. He usually tries not to think about it, about how dismissive he tends to be of your own worries. Though now it feels like a slap in the face. What right does he have to insist on worrying so much when he doesn’t even let you? Still.

Xiao listens to every word and stares at you wide-eyed, before looking at the background. The lanterns are lit and the people of Liyue go on with their lives. They all have their worries, all have people they hold dear, and they go on with their lives. So do you.

“I’m an Adeptus. Unlike you, I have time to spend. Time to kill.” he says simply, “I’m willing to spend it on you. I don’t care if it’s a waste.”

“You can’t devote yourself to me.” you scoff, and it sounds like it should be a joke.

“I can, and I will. If you allow me.”

You look back at him and your expression’s unreadable. It softened, but Xiao cannot tell what you’re feeling. At all.

“… And I won’t, if you insist.” he adds slowly, tone careful.

A long silence follows, and it’s hard for Xiao to tell what’s on your mind. He feels like he hasn’t felt this scared in a long while, and it feels ridiculous. He fights deadly creatures from the Abyss every day and night, yet he’s never felt his heart beat so painfully against his ribcage. No, not even the events of his self-sacrifice and the certainty of what should have been his own death made him feel this way.

He doesn’t like feeling anxious around the person he considers more important than life itself— Though he supposes it just goes to show how important you are. Otherwise, he would not even bother caring.

“No one enjoys being followed. Just come see me as you normally would.” you finally say, and there’s a small smile on your face. Xiao doesn’t know humans well, but he knows you. And he can tell at the very least that you have no intention to tell him to never see you again— That you hold no ill feelings towards him. You’re not angry, thank the Archons.

He breathes out quietly, relieved, and nods slowly. “Then I’ll stop.” he speaks with certainty. He will. He will stop. He’ll… Shorten his visits. Make them less frequent. Make himself known, like you said. 

Maybe just… Go to you and ask to spend time together. Is that what’s normal? He figures it is.

His gaze wanders to your hand and he suddenly grabs your wrist, gentle, but firm enough to pull you along with him. He hears you yelp in surprise but walks all the way outside the gates of Liyue Harbor.

He stops at a familiar spot and sighs. There, all he hears is the sound of the sea, and all that is alive is you, him, and the nature around. 

There, he feels more at ease. So his hand slips down from your wrist to your own hand, fingers wrapping around yours carefully. It isn’t the first time your hands intertwine, and Xiao prays each time that it’ll never be the last. There’s times you tell him the way he looks at your hands is the way a lover does. Xiao does not know love. He doesn’t care about a name to put on what you two have, either.

He looks up at you. “Always be careful.” he says, eyebrows furrowing— I won’t be there as much, then be careful so I’ll know I don’t need to worry.

He just knows he needs to be there for you. Always.

You wrap your arms around him slowly, setting your chin on his shoulder. Xiao closes his eyes and feels himself relax into your hold. His hands move to hold you, as careful as usual. He needs to die like this, he thinks, that’s the only good way to go. No heaven would dare compare to this.

“Please.” he adds, quieter. His voice almost sounds shaky, and he doesn’t even realize the word that slipped out. But he feels you nod against his neck.

“I’ll be careful.”

Xiao feels vulnerable in your hold. Weak. It’s something he would usually hate, but not when he’s around you. When you’re here, the feeling is warm, and comforting— It’s like he can finally allow himself rest.

Zhongli says home is where you can let your guard down. It’s a safe space. Xiao understands his home is not a place, but a person— his home is you. And he will always do anything in his power to ensure its safety. So his hold on you tightens, like a silent promise to do all that he can to ensure your wellbeing.

After all, you’re more important than anything else.

“Xiao.”

“Hm?”

“Let’s stay like this for a while longer.”

“… Okay.”

Tales could be written about the unusually soft smiles of the Conqueror of Demons, about his love for a human being so much more important than the world itself. Alas, none will know about it, for you keep all these stories to yourselves.

[autism-connoisseur]

what's your take on karkat now that you know his big secret?

genuinely amazing how his whole personality is a defense mechanism.... this guy cares he cares so much but his whole life hes had to push people away lest they Find Out.... living in constant alert ever since he had consciousness of how Different he was and how dangerous that was for him, knowing that everyone around him would cull him on the spot if they found out about It.... if im not mistaken trolls' tears are the color of their blood so he also had to repress himself to Not Cry. and for a person as emotional as karkat thats such a challenge!! not even out of sadness, or grief, but people also cry out of happiness, nostalgia, frustration, anger... those two especially i can see happening to karkat. and hed hate it.

he can be so Mean sometimes, perpetually angry... sure, it might be part of his personality, he is definitely easily irritated and prone to heat-of-the-moment decisions (like when he ran sollux's code and promptly exploded his computer and cast a curse on himself & his friends) but like i said, he's lived his entire life having to be Alert, not being able to let his guard down, because he would die if he did!! and at the same time he needs to prove himself, prove that despite being Wrong and Different he can do things!! he can be useful!!! maybe if he makes himself useful enough someone will even see him as a person and not just a mutant... thats why he is so dead set on being the leader. much like dave he has lived his whole life Needing To Be In Control Of Things (rose too, but shes more like she needs to Understand People, if she can read people correctly then she can avoid them flipping on her (no she cant that is not how it works babe)), but whereas dave is content with letting june be the leader (even if he wants to surpass her, hes very much doing his own thing anyways) karkat NEEDS to be the leader because that way he will prove that hes capable (to his friends in particular but to society as a whole, they are basically a mini representation of society anyways with each of them representing each caste).

but also he blames himself, he blames himself so much whenever anything goes slightly wrong and that feeling just gets amplified since he ran sollux's virus. it's a vicious circle for him since he needs to be in control and call the shots to feel like hes useful (defense mechanism, you wouldn't get rid of an useful pest even if he was a pest now would you?), but whenever something goes wrong under his command he freaks out (maybe relating it to his blood color? like he is Bad so this happened. also we know he takes sollux's virus's curse very seriously), he takes it as proof that He Personally Is Wrong and obviously everyone knows this, but since he doesnt want to be seen as that and he wants society to accept him without ever realizing there was a reason they shouldnt (see: also why he wanted to join the military or some part of it at the very least) he doubles on his efforts on Controlling everything.

and when he realizes they created our universe, it finally gives him a chance to be above someone. to be the powerful and not the powerless, the respected and not the shunned. its why he treats the beta kids as stupid, inferior beings, and why he constantly points out that he is their god even though he isnt (well he technically is but you get it). it mimicks the way some highbloods treat lowbloods, but where the highbloods are like that because society told them it's their natural right that they were born with, karkat does it to forget what that same society told him: that he was somehow intrinsically worse than anyone else. so bad, in fact, that he'd be better of dead. actually, he'd be so better off dead that they want him dead, that they will kill him as soon as they find him. so of course he takes the chance to not feel like that! of course he wants to feel superior! he needs to be the one above for once, he needs that control over someone instead of feeling like he needs to watch out for everything and anything. he sees a chance to not be the lowest link in the chain, and he takes it. sure, he may be a mutant, but theyre human... and not just any humans. the very same humans that doomed their session, the session karkat threw himself into because not only did it grant him escape from a planet that hated his existence (as much as he also idealized, trying to fit in, trying to not be seen as Abnormal even though all the beta trolls are Abnormal & don't fit in), it also gave him the chance to, like i said, prove himself.

he trusts his friends, he does, and he said he'd tell them his blood color eventually. but he needed to be ready and that's why both jack noir & terezi, or at least their reactions, are so important to him. neither of them shuns him, they don't attack him, they don't make fun of him of call him aberrant or do anything that most trolls would. fair, jack noir isn't a troll, and he doesn't even understand why karkat is freaking out. but when he shows him his own blood, the same color, karkat is suddenly not alone. even if red blood doesn't mean anything special to jack, to karkat it means the world to see that he is not some abomination, that the universe didn't signal him out to be different than the rest forever and always. and terezi, terezi is what really does it for him. shes somewhat high in the hemospectrum, she is someone that karkat likes (and apparently kissed! good for him because God knows the kid didn't let anyone in out of fear of being found out), she is a troll. and she doesn't mind. she even calls him adorable in the same log! the beta trolls are outcasts of the alternian society; and they are karkat's friends. that's why he was willing to tell them eventually: it was his secret to keep and his secret to share. and even if terezi found out when he wasn't ready yet, her reaction was absolutely positive. again, these kids are the furthest away from troll society as they can be, almost its opposite, which is why karkat thought about telling them, is willing to tell them. he knows hes safe with them.

ive seen people point out how his handle (carcinoGeneticist) references his sign (carcinogenesis is the process by which an organism gains cancer) and both these things represent how hes considered an anomaly & something to be rid of, something sick; i also think it's. ironic that he's the knight of blood, but i don't know enough about classpects yet to analyze that. it must have felt like a cruel joke to him, though, being told that his literal title was someone who fights for the same thing he's ostracized for. it would certainly piss me off that's for sure.

[aceinacloset]

I'm back with more Circus Baby headcanons, mostly ‘cause I had bad art block right now, and I've felt like crap lately.

The hyperfixation also returned with a vengeance.

A lot of these headcanons apply to !FNAF SL REDUX!

(Ft. The funtimes, elizabeth, and scrap baby headcanons for seasoning)

see under the cut for the headcanons

Some Circus Baby specific headcanons to start us off

She has a very soothing voice at times, and this voice has a tendency to put some to sleep. She was having a conversation with Liz once and rambled on to a point that Liz fell asleep just listening to CB talk.

Her birthday cake sent has long since faded, but there is still a hint if you get close enough to her. You can especially smell it if you get a hug from her.

Circus Baby never stands up straight, she Is always usually angled down in an attempt to be less intimidating. With kids, she'll get on her knees or on one knee

She is so stubborn that she will try every possible scenario before even daring to conceive the idea of asking for help.

Circus Baby can not laugh. She just can't. She's tried, and she just can’t. So, to compensate for this, she will play audio of children's laughter to simulate laughter. It comes off more creepy than she intends to.

Here's some headcanons specific with Elizabeth or about her

Circus Baby refuses to let Elizabeth apologize to her, ‘oh you did something wrong. No, don't apologize to me. You shouldn't have done that, but- DON'T apologize to ME’

Elizabeth loves exploring the facility, specifically to find other exits to the ‘world up above’. She will always report back to CB with anything she finds. It's always like a proud child presenting it to their parents.

Elizabeth and the bidybabs are the sibling dynamic™ constantly getting into trouble, doing stupid things, and just being straight up menaces. The bidybabs would also be the first funtimes besides Baby to be able to see Elizabeth. This would be followed close behind by Bon-Bon and the minireenas.

Elizabeth has a dissociative disorder and has a tendency to disconnect from the world sometimes.

When Circus Baby sleeps and Liz needs to get her attention about something, she'll jump up and tug on one of her pigtails. She's not very heavy, but it's enough weight to wake Baby up.

Scrap baby headcanons time!

Scrap baby is very sassy and sarcastic and has a tendency to have bickering banter with Elizabeth

Scrap baby was put back together though what was left of her body, Elizabeth's remnant seething with rage, and duct tape.

Elizabeth and Scrap Baby did nothing but silly shenanigans for those 30 years before Fnaf 6. One year, they pretended to be a Halloween animatronic and scared kids

Scrap baby is not as stubborn as Circus Baby was and listens to others more (by others, I mean Liz)

Ballora Headcanons to wrap it up

Ballora hates most of the staff, so she is the least co-operative, like she's tried to kill staff more than once.

Ballora is super sound sensitive and can get easily irritated by noise of any kind, especially if it disturbs her while she's dancing.

Ballora can be quite tempered, like you can really tell when she's angry.

Give her a hug. She needs it.

A child called her mom once, she never recovered.

Ballora is built like a contortionist. Due to this, she has freaked out so many kids and staff doing many different poses.

Ballora, when it comes to emotions, is hard to read. She doesn't seem to emote, but in reality, she feels a lot of things, all to a point that it's hard for her to register them.

Ballora comforts herself and the minireenas with her music box.

She's just a little unhinged, dare I say a little bit silly.

Ballora is so conflicted towards CB. Sometimes, she is happy to see her, and she understands her, and other times, she wants to beat the ever loving shit out of her.

Ballora is torn on Freddy, and it's mostly ‘cause their personalities clash,' but since Funtime Freddy hides out in the breaker room so much, they both have kinda become unintentional roommates.

Foxy and Ballora are gossiping Besties, that's it. That's their dynamic.

Ballora is very aware of Elizabeth and interacts with her on a regular basis. For a long while, CB would be unaware of Balloras' awareness.

Not immediately getting back into fnaf content, this was just sitting on my phone for too long

[saninthebuilding]

"i got you" - bakugou

summary: life is shit. but there's bakugou

word count: 1k

warnings: swearing, emotions (ew), angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, self-deprecating thoughts, rough head-space, mental health issues (?), pre-established relationship

a/n: self-indulgent late night drabble bc i am so tired. in need of editing, which will be done later. i just needed this right now.

a/n 2.0: edited!

hope you enjoy it <3

-

i could feel it getting worse again.

the slow pull of life weighing me down as the days went by. it started with not feeling as hungry as i normally would- and i was a foodie, so that was a huge red flag. of course, me being me, i ignored it, excusing that feeling for feeling full from previous meals. then it progressed into me not enjoying my everyday hobbies, like drawing and reading. and now it has gotten really bad, because i was unable to summon the energy to do simple daily tasks, like getting out of bed.

i was slipping.

lying down with my head on my pillow, i stared up at the ceiling, my mind blank.

why did i come up here again?

i didn't know.

i didn't know anything anymore.

what the hell was i doing?

shaking my head, trying to get my thoughts in order, i forced myself to focus. to pay attention to the colour of the ceiling. to acknowledge how soft my bed was beneath me. to breathe.

since when was that so hard?

my phone rang from somewhere beside me, but i ignored it. i had no wish to reach over to grab it, just to entertain whoever was on the other end of the line.

hell, i couldn't even entertain myself anymore.

but it rang again.

and then again.

and again.

groaning, i rolled over and snatched it up from the folds in my sheets, only to put it on silent and shove it away from me.

finally.

falling back onto my pillow, i let out a heavy exhale, feeling my back press into the mattress beneath me. my chest rose and fell in time with my deep breaths, and i closed my eyes.

oh right. i was trying to go to sleep.

letting out a harsh laugh that lacked true amusement to an empty room, i turned onto my side, placing my hand under my cheek

this week had been hell.

my parents had been chewing me out for something stupid that i'd done a week ago. i had no clue what it was, probably something i said when i wasn't paying attention.

you never pay attention.

my teacher was on my ass about getting an oral presentation done, even though she knew i had some form of anxiety when it came to public speaking.

you can't even talk to people properly? pathetic.

and worst of all, i had been slacking in hero training these few days. it was clear the lack of food, sleep and overall energy was catching up to me.

useless.

gritting my teeth, i closed my eyes in an attempt to get rid of the constant stream of self-deprecating thoughts in my head.

if i really tried, maybe i could get better.

if i wanted it bad enough, i could be happy again.

could i?

because i was just so tired.

so fucking tired.

of everything.

sleeping for the rest of my life sounds nice.

a knock at my window jolted me upright, my vision blurring for a split second due to the sudden movement. i spun toward the noise, only to see a spiky-haired blonde crouched on my windowsill, glaring at me through the glass with angry red eyes.

shit. what's he doing here?

bakugou kept glaring at me, his gaze practically screaming all the things he would do to me if i didn't open the fucking window. reluctantly, i forced myself to my feet, swaying a little as i walked over to open the window.

"to what do i owe the pleasure?" i asked, putting on a teasing tone.

bakugou saw right through it.

"cut it out and let me in," he grumbled as he jumped down from the ledge and into my room. "you let yourself in" i muttered, but shut the window behind him nonetheless.

"why did you ignore my calls?" he asked, the irritation he was feeling making itself known through his voice.

"i was sleeping" i said, the lie coming easily. or trying to.

he rolled his eyes, turning away from me, but stopped short. he took one look around my room, assessing the messy bed, my training clothes dumped unceremoniously on the floor, and my homework spread out haphazardly on my desk, and before turning to me.

surprisingly, his gaze was soft, prior annoyance forgotten.

"what the fuck is going on?" he asked quietly.

and it was those words that undid me.

i felt everything i'd been pushing down come rushing up, and i only managed to take two steps towards my bed before collapsing to the floor.

bakugou caught me before i hit the ground.

"oi, oi" he breathed, his arms wrapped around my upper body in an attempt to keep me upright- "what the fuck happened?"

i buried my face in his shoulder, inhaling the scent of slightly burned caramel that seemed to follow him wherever he went, and felt tears beginning to stream down my face.

i was crying. great.

he guided me to sit on the bed, before leaning back against the headboard with me. without question, he pulled the covers over the both of us, before holding me close, and letting me cry.

the silence in my room was almost deafening, save for my muffled sniffling due to his black tank top. i could feel his biceps under my arms, and his chest firm against my hands.

screw him for having his muscles out at this ungodly hour.

"you know," he said after a while, "you could have told me. i would have come here long before it got like this."

trying hard not to hiccup, i shook my head from where i lay on his chest. "no, i-"

"don't be stubborn with me" bakugou groused, before shifting so he could look down at me, "you wouldn't be bothering me or some shit."

i stared up at him, before turning away.

"i'm sorry."

"shut it. the fuck you sorry for? i got you, alright."

and despite everything, i let myself smile just a little.

"i love you" i whispered.

there was a moment of silence, before he hugged me to his chest and placed a soft kiss to the top of my head.

"i love you too, y/n."

[queenofsimpsblog]

believe me - shuri x reader pt 2

HCEWUGCFYUEWG so my dumbass accidentally deleted the 2nd draft, so i had to rewrite this bad boy MULTIPLE TIMES to make it absolutely perfect for you guys, cuz everyone loved pt 1 so much i just knew i had to make pt 2 as perfect as possible WARNINGS: mentions of drowning, fight scenes, gets a little graphic towards the end, pure fluff ending here are all the accounts that asked for a pt 2 (sorry if i missed a few): @shurislover @taiiunknown @sinsikoxo @mysticalmarss @lilroachsworld @angelsmist @ogbells16 @youralphawolf72 @6-noir @awolfcsworld @adeola-the-explorer @shuriszn @kya-rose @minionslikeppl @anonassbjtch @miguenza @dovesbeauty @yamsthoughts @k3nn3dyxo honorary mention to @locoforshuri WHO HAS IGNORED ME FOR SO LONG SMH LIKE BITCH ARE YOU ALIVE?! ARE YOU DEAD?! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF YOU IGNORE ME LIL SHIT?! YOU GOT OTHER HOES OR SMTH?! I THOUGHT WE HAD SMTH SPECIAL ok i'm done with my lil rage outburst, y'all have fun reading this <3

"what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

*20 minutes ago*

"oh please. you're just jealous that i love maya and not you," shuri spat out. you were too upset to deal with the way her comment stung your heart, so you chugged the remainder of your drink and left the booth.

shuri shut her eyes and sighed in annoyance. she regretted her words the instant they left her mouth. she wanted to get up and look for you, but your body was lost in the dancing crowd.

she downed her scotch, still feeling thirsty. shuri was feeling out of sync the entire day. she felt parched, hungry, nauseous, irritated. it wasn't her period, no. it was something else.

she stayed at her seat, drinking shot after shot. one of the downsides to being the black panther was an incredibly fast metabolic rate. in layman terms, she couldn't get drunk that easily.

she stayed at her seat, staring at her hands. thinking of you. missing you. feeling guilty for what she said.

just then, her kimoyo beads buzzed. an SOS message from you. the alcohol instantly evaporated as she saw the alert. shuri got up from her seat, using her panther vision to locate riri at the bar, talking to the waitress who flirted with her earlier.

***

(lil smth for the fight scene)

"what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

you turned from your seat to look at maya, standing at the door frame, looking angry, and a tad bit scared.

"me? what's all this?! who the fuck are you, and why are you here?!"

"that's none of your business."

"excuse me?! oh fuck this. i'm showing shuri all of this, right the fuck now," you waved your phone at her smugly. maya reached ahead for it but you blocked her hand with your other arm, throwing her against the bookshelf, knocking a few heavy books down that hit her on the head. you took that as your chance and made a run for it.

while running, you opened your sling bag and put your phone inside, zipping it up and putting the sling around your shoulder to make sure the phone wouldn't fall down anywhere.

the sound of bullets being fired gave you an extra push to make you run faster. just then, maya switched to a different weapon. it sent a thick string of black slime that got hold of your foot and yanked you down. she then changed the setting to withdraw the slime, pulling your body to her so that she wouldn't have to run after you. she used a weapon that you designed against you. unbelievable. while that was happening, you took off an earring and hurriedly sent an SOS signal to the first contact that popped up, and threw your earring aside.

your body was being violently dragged towards maya, and when you were close enough, she made a move to get your purse. you punched her in the nose and pushed her head aside, giving you enough space to get up and a break for it again. that's when maya drove a knife in your thigh. you yelled in pain, as you tried to move. but maya was one step ahead. she took a white cloth and put it over your mouth. at that point, you realised that fighting against her was futile. in your final moments of consciousness, you took off your bracelet and threw it down before passing out.

maya smirked, proud at herself as she dragged your body to a secluded corner of the floor. drops of blood from your thigh marked her path. a large, potted plant stood there. she kicked it down, and pressed a button on the side, revealing a secret tunnel opening. she carelessly threw your body down the tunnel and gave you a slight push, following you afterwards.

***

"yeah, well, that's how i learned using a blowtorch to reheat a grilled cheese sandwich was a bad idea," riri spoke and the waitress laughed, smiling profusely.

they looked cute together, and shuri hated to interrupt the moment. but if the message wasn't an accident, and your life was actually at stake, then she knew that she had to do something about it.

"riri! i need your help to find y/n,"

"why don't you just track her with those beads?"

"it says she's right at the club, which doesn't make sense because i can't see her anywhere,"

the waitress interrupted their conversation. "if y/n is the type of person to trespass, you might want to check the third floor. she might've gotten too drunk and gone there by accident,"

riri smiled at the woman and thanked her for the suggestion, taking shuri's hand to lead her to the elevator.

"wait a minute, wasn't y/n supposed to be with you the entire time? why'd she leave?"

shuri sighed, angry at herself. she told riri what happened, causing the american to frown at her.

"dude, what the fuck?! that was totally uncalled for. y/n was just tryna help you. and besides, the rejection hurt her already. you didn't need to bring it up again,"

shuri stayed quiet. she knew what she did was wrong. but the constant hammering in her head robbed her of the ability to think properly.

the elevator door opened and they walked around, hoping to find you. the atmosphere was sinister. both women could tell that something bad happened there. riri looked at her friend. "i'll check the right side, you check the lift," shuri nodded silently and walked away, carefully assessing the scene. her feet led her to the very secluded room you found before, and she was more than shocked when she found everything.

the stalker board. the computer with wakanda's security secrets. it was all so overwhelming. what hit her hard was when she saw this one symbol on this piece of paper.

it was at if it put her in some sort of trance. memories flashed through her mind. the symbol was of the french embassy. she remembered seeing it when she first saw maya.

only when maya first introduced herself, she didn't go by that name. she said something else, but shuri couldn't remember. it was as if someone drugged her.

was that possible? was someone brave enough to drug the protector of wakanda? her thoughts were interrupted when she heard riri yell for her.

"shuri! i found something!!"

she ran towards riri's voice, and stopped when she saw the girl hold something in her hands.

"it's y/n's earring. she dropped it. do you think it's some sort of clue?" riri asked. shuri looked at the piece of jewelry to be sure. yes. it was yours. her gaze went down to the drops of blood on the floor, trailing off elsewhere. she gestured to it. riri got the message. both of them silently trailed the path of blood until it stopped and a knocked down plant.

shuri went closer to get a better look, and found the button. slightly hesitant, she pushed it, and the secret door opened up. both women looked at each other.

"you think that's where she went?" riri spoke as she looked around the tunnel.

shuri spotted the black bracelet on the floor and picked it up. "this bracelet belongs to y/n. i bought this for her last year. i think she dropped it on purpose. you were right. she's leaving clues for us,"

"but where does this tunnel lead to?"

the black panther lifted her kimoyo beads up. "griot. scan this opening, please. tell me where it leads to,"

"just one moment, panther," griot stayed quiet for a few seconds. "it appears to lead to a cave, your majesty. it's hidden quite well, deep within the ground. i sense some water bodies nearby. i believe it is somewhere near the river border,"

"okay, well, we're going after her," riri started removing her jewelry, getting ready to fight whoever tried to harm you.

"one moment, miss williams. i believe entering through the same opening may be a foolish choice, as you would land right in front of the enemy. there is another entrance to the cave. but you need to be able to hold your breath to use it."

"griot, do you have access to any security footage here?"

"my apologies, panther, but there are no surveillance cameras here. maya had them removed once she bought club purple,"

shuri groaned in frustration. "alright. send me the coordinates for the second opening. alert okoye and the dora milaje. get them on standby. i'm getting my girl back,"

shuri and riri sped their way back to the palace so that shuri could get her suit. riri changed into a bulletproof tracksuit she made for herself a couple years ago. they couldn't go save you in their club outfits, could they?!

while the royal talon fighter sped its way to the second entrance to the secret tunnel, riri asked her friend what she found on the other side of the hallway.

"maya... that's not her real name. y/n was right. she was using me. there was something off about her. i should've listened. this is all my fault," shuri dragged a hand on her face as riri rubbed her back.

"don't worry. we'll find her. she's gonna be okay. but wait, what did you say about maya? that ain't her real name?"

"i don't know, my memory is being weird. i somehow cannot recall what happened the day i met her. how we ended up dating. it's as if--"

"as if you were drugged?" riri finished the sentence. suddenly, everything clicked. shuri remembered everything, and blurted all of it out to riri.

***

you woke up. jittery, confused. taking a look at your surroundings, you realised that maya had you captured. you were tied to a wooden chair, and you seemed to be stuck in some sort of cave. there was a table in front of you, with a small black rectangular object. it looked like a taser, but you weren't quite sure. the wound on your leg was bandaged up. but who bandaged you in the first place?

"rise and shine, you little bitch," maya's voice loomed from behind you. she walked around to face you, and you sneered at the sight.

"oh i knew there was something off about you,"

"oh, yes, you clever girl," you noticed the change in her accent. initially, she spoke in an american accent. then, it changed to a french accent.

you raised an eyebrow. "french? what are you, a spy or something?"

she let out a sinister laugh. "well, yes. you could say that. i suppose since i'm about to kill you, i can tell you who i really am," well, there it was. maya's truth. what you'd been waiting for.

"my real name isn't maya. it's roberts. gabrielle roberts. i work for the french embassy, and was sent here to gain intel on wakanda and their military facilities. to get that close, i needed to get into the palace. and what better way than to seduce the queen?"

you laughed mockingly. "bullshit. shuri would've seen that coming a mile away,"

gabrielle sighed. "yes, you're right. she did. she was very skeptical of me when she first met me. i tried seducing her the old fashioned way, but she was entrapped by another woman. you, i believe."

"huh? excuse me??"

"did you not know? it's so obvious. i had to spend some time spying on shuri before i could approach her. she's in love with you."

you weren't buying it. you spent a decent 2 months telling yourself that shuri never wanted you that way and never will. and you refused to believe the word of a woman who lied about her identity to everyone.

"if she was so in love with me, then how did you bag her in the first place?"

"oh. simple. i drugged her."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"ah, relax. nothing too serious. although i had to keep giving her large doses for the drug to work. that lady's metabolism never takes a break,"

the strength of the black panther. shuri's body could break down complex chemicals within moments, so gabrielle had to continuously drug shuri to make sure she could still stay close to her, to gather all the intel she needed.

fortunately, she hadn't given shuri a single dose in over 6 hours, which was enough for the effects of the drug to completely wear off.

"so if you needed shuri for the intel, why'd you bring me here?"

"because, for the final part of my plan, i need to get access to the weaponry database. and as far as my research goes, you're the only one who can crack the code which will give me access to those records. so," she dragged your chair to the table and opened up a laptop in front of you.

"do it."

"do what?"

"open up those records. or i will blow your brains out," she shoved a gun to your head. you looked at gabrielle with wary eyes.

"dude, how stupid are you? how do you expect me to use a laptop if my fucking hands are tied behind my back?!" gabrielle sighed and moved to untie you. your wrist was swollen and bruised.

"i can't do it. my hand is busted. and besides, there's an encrypted code protecting foreign users from entering the database. it'll take months to break through it,"

"i don't have TIME for this!" gabrielle's voice echoed through the walls of the cave. she grabbed the taser and brought it to your abdomen, burning you with the current. silent tears ran down your cheeks. you couldn't die like this.

"i give you five minutes. figure it out, or i'll open that latch on the floor and flood the place. you have a fear of water, don't you? ah, it'll be hilarious watching you drown," with that, gabrielle walked away.

you started hyperventilating. things weren't looking so great for you. you weren't lying when you said the encrypted code would take months to break through. hell, it took nearly a year to make it that secure! you looked around the cave, trying to find a way to escape, to break through. the latch down opened up to water, but you had no idea how long you'd have to hold your breath until you'd reach the shore.

you left shuri some clues. the SOS message, the jewelry, the blood. you hoped that she'd find those.

ah, who am i kidding? she doesn't love me, she'll never love me. and now, i'm gonna die alone. why? cause i'm a paranoid bitch.

your five minutes were up and gabrielle walked back inside, an evil grin plastered on her face.

"time to die, whore."

you froze, accepting your fate. gabrielle lifted up her gun, ready to pull the trigger, when an explosion from behind sent her body hurtling in front. water and rocks splashed everywhere as you tried to see who was there.

shuri.

it was shuri. she first ran to you, her mask disappearing.

"sthandwa? are you okay?" she assessed you for any injuries, and got anxious as she saw your bleeding thigh and swollen hand.

"i'm fine, i promise," you replied, but you looked like you were gonna pass out. riri came from behind you and grabbed you gently, taking you outside where the royal talon fighter hovered, a medical team inside prepped to help you with any injuries.

"you drug me, lie to me, and harm the woman i love the most. give me one good reason why i shouldn't blow your face up right now," shuri glared gabrielle, hot rage coursing through her veins. the drugs were now completely out of her system, and she was ready to rip the spy's throat into shreds.

the mask of her suit hid her face as she lunged at the french woman, claws ripping at her chest. gabrielle let out a groan of pain. she tried to fight back, but the black panther was too strong. water began seeping through, and shuri knew she had to leave before she drowned as well. she considered helping gabrielle for a moment, before deciding that a) she was busted pretty bad and wasn't going to make it, and b) she was a threat to wakanda so there was really no point in saving her. the french embassy had come for wakanda before. they had to set an example, so that no other country would pull shit like that again.

shuri managed to get out just before the entire cave was flooded, and ordered the dora milaje to seal the exit, just in case.

the medical staff on the jet aided to your injuries, giving you some ointment and pain pills. before you knew it, you were dropped at the palace. you asked if you could be led to your apartment, but shuri insisted that you and riri stay at the palace for the night. too tired (and traumatised) to argue, you agreed and were shown to your quarters, where you laid down and were immediately taken over by exhaustion as you fell asleep.

***

rays of sunshine pooled through the large window as you slowly opened your eyes, getting up to see a tray sitting neatly on your bedside table. a bowl of oatmeal, topped with your favourite nut butter and fruits lay on the tray, along with the pain medication you were prescribed, a glass of water, some orange juice, and a note. you picked the note up first, instantly recognising the handwriting scribbled on it.

eat your breakfast, and call me once you're done

shuri <3

she drew a little heart next to her name. how cute. you got up to brush your teeth before scarfing down the food, juice, and medicine. seeing as you hadn't eaten in ages, your hunger made sense. as ordered to, you raised your kimoyo beads and gently tapped them to alert the queen.

"y/n! you're awake, how are you feeling?"

"pretty alright. i ate the breakfast you sent, took my meds, and i just got outta the shower. every part of my body is still in pain though,"

"don't worry, i'm on my way right now,"

"oh, no, shuri you don't have to--"

she hung up before you could finish. typical shuri.

a few minutes later, you heard a gentle knock on your door. "come in" you said softly. shuri's cute morning face popped up as she slowly made her way to your bed, sitting down next to you.

both of your backs were against the bed frame as you faced each other.

"hi," shuri muttered.

"hey,"

she didn't look up at you. slightly confused, you grabbed her chin and tilted her head upwards.

"why won't you look at me?"

her eyes started to water. "i guess i just feel guilty. if i had listened to you at first, i could've sent that french bitch away a long time ago. but you got hurt, because of me,"

"hey, hey..." you tried to console her. "don't blame yourself for this. you were drugged. we both know the great shuri udaku wouldn't fall for a stupid scam like that if she was in her senses," she let out a lugh after your comment and you smiled, happy that you could improve her mood.

as you got flashbacks from your cave encounter with gabriella, a specific thing she said crept up to your brain. and you knew you had to bring it up eventually.

"so, listen..." you fidgeted and shuri gently took your hand, intertwining your fingers together. it was a simple act you guys did as kids to show that you had each others backs. it always made your heart flutter.

"in the cave, when gabriella confessed to drugging you, she said it was because she wanted to seduce you but she couldn't do that while you were sober," shuri cringed when you said 'seduce' and you bit back a laugh at her expression.

"she said she couldn't seduce you without drugging you, because you were in love with me." shuri's head shot up as her eyes widened.

"now i don't know which drug she gave, or how much it affected your memory. but i'm pretty sure you didn't forget the day i told you i love you. and yes, i might not be as entirely over you as i said, but i'm okay with you not seeing me that way. i mean, i'll get over it i guess--"

she cut you off by smashing her lips against yours. it took you a moment to realise what was happening before you started to kiss back. you gently grabbed her shirt collar as she grabbed your waist, pulling you towards her lap, making you straddle her. you made out like that for a while before your need for oxygen interfered, causing you to pull away.

shuri smiled like a kid in a candy store. you smiled back.

"you won't believe how long i've wanted to do that. y/n, ever since the day i met you, i knew i was going to make you mine. how can someone not love you?" you giggled before kissing her again.

"so... are we girlfriends now?" you asked, the smile still stuck on your face.

"hmmm, well, let me think about it," you smacked her arm and she laughed.

"alright, alright, y/n y/l/n, my gorgeous princess, my sweetheart, my one and only, will you be my girlfriend? please?" you laughed and kissed her with all your heart. when you parted again, you chucked to yourself.

"what's so funny, sthandwa?"

"i'm just picturing riri's reaction when we tell her this. she's gonna lose the last bit of sanity she has left," both of you laughed at the image before lying down to cuddle, enjoying each other's embrace for the rest of the day.

*lil bonus scene as a sorry for taking so damn long to upload this*

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" riri yelled out as you and shuri laughed. her reaction was everything you pictured and more.

"FINALLY!! GODDAMN YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH!! SHURI YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A THIRSTY ASS BITCH!! SHOULD'VE HEARD HER FANTASISING ABOUT THIS VIBRANIUM STRAP SHE TOLD ME ABOUT--"

"RIRI!!" you yelled and chased after her in shuri's lab. the queen laughed to herself.

bast, she's crazy. but she's mine. and i'd do anything for her.

[bluemidnightmelody]

lover/fighter - my favorite moments

[Little snippets from my Finnick/OC longfic that are stuck in my head]

From Chapter 42 - Cloudburst

Rhea feels a brief moment of triumph, but it's overshadowed by the feeling that it's not enough. She is angry, so incredibly angry and has no outlet for it. Most of this anger isn't even directed at a specific person, but at the whole system, and that's what makes it so hard to get rid of. Because even the few people who are directly involved and responsible, she can't just shout at them or hit them to let these feelings out, not without messing everything up. But that's exactly what she would like to do, she wants to rage and riot and break something to pieces.

"Are you okay?" Finnick's voice suddenly asks close to her ear.

These lapses are starting to become problematic, and she is only gradually realizing how difficult it really is to keep such strong feelings in check. She has underestimated the situation but forces herself to answer anyway, "Sure. It's the same as always, why shouldn't I be fine?" Even she realizes that the forced smile won't convince anyone. After all, she can't even convince herself.

The look on Finnick's face is a mixture of doubt and concern, the very things she wanted to dispel. Instead, she has made an idiot of herself and now he looks at her like she's a frightened animal that could go crazy at any moment and, in the worst case, hurt itself.

"Your hand is shaking," he says in a calm voice but with the kind of serious expression you otherwise never see on his face in the Capitol. The other Finnick is gone, and what's left is the one she wanted back so badly.

It transforms her annoyance into something else in the space of a second and at the same time the self-confidence that had flared up with the anger evaporates. Her feelings blossomed like flowers of fire and burned out just as quickly. Now the remnants disintegrate like wet ashes after Finnick has drowned them in his ocean.

And it is only after his words that she realizes that her right hand is indeed trembling at her side. She can't turn it off, so she shakes it out frantically in front of her. A tiny breath of relief comes over her, as the trembling has fortunately disappeared. She lets her hand hover briefly in front of her face to reply with a nervous laugh, "You're imagining things."

A heavy, unpleasant feeling spreads through Finnick's stomach the longer he watches her. He's had a bad feeling for days but seeing her like this now somehow hurts. He's used to seeing himself like this in the mirror, but it's only because of him that she's been dragged into this. She is unbalanced, overly nervous, emotional, easily irritable, all things that many of the other victors also experience, which doesn't match her true nature at all.

He made a mistake by allowing her to get too involved. He should have sent her away, but he couldn't. Couldn't or didn't want to and now he has no choice but to do damage limitation.

He takes a deep breath and tries to strike a reasonable tone. "Hey, I think it would be better...," he begins gently and tries to put a reassuring hand on her arm, but the gesture makes her flinch away, as if the slightest touch hurts like a burn on her skin.

And it does hurt. In a place deep in his heart, it hurts beyond comprehension.

Rhea looks at him with a startled expression, as if she has woken up from the worst nightmare. In fact, that's pretty accurate, even if it's not actually Finnick who scares her off.

She realizes that she lacks control. Not just over her emotional world, but over everything. Even her thoughts and body do what they want. In some twisted way, something in her subconscious has decided that touching him is a taboo, which is why she is now having exactly the reaction she would have expected from herself right at the start, only the reason isn't that she's afraid for herself. No, it's the other way around. She is not afraid of being hurt, but rather fears her own potential to hurt him, as so many others do.

It may be for his own good in theory, but Rhea immediately sees that it does the opposite of what her confused self had intended. She screwed up, and she screwed up badly. It was a mistake to come here, absolutely everything was a big mistake.

Without the slightest idea of how to save the situation or what she could even say, she just stammers helplessly to herself, "Sorry I ... forgot something ... in the kitchen. I think. I should probably go check, I should ... definitely ... I'll talk to you later." Meanwhile, she stumbles backwards a few more steps, her eyes darting uncertainly around the room, from one person to the next, but without mustering up the courage to meet Finnick's green-blue ones again.

And then she's gone. Gone as quickly as she appeared, like a short, warm summer rain, of which every trace has disappeared again shortly after the last drop has touched the ground. Finnick can't say which is worse. The fact that she reminds him so incredibly of Annie right now, how she falls from one dream into the next and almost seems like an unreal fantasy herself, or the pain of rejection, which he hasn't felt like this for many years and only ever through one person, his father.

Links to all the chapters: lover/fighter - Chapter Index

fanfiction on ao3 and wattpad

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

honestly I don't wanna read all 70 questions cause I have to get ready for work soooooooo

fuck it, all of them. 1-70

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

I suppose so. I don’t think I’m really close because that’s just how I work but we’re all good with each other

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my guinea pig I think

03: Do you regret anything?

bruh that’s a shit question I regret everything I’ve ever done that’s how life works

04: Are you insecure?

hahahahahahahaaha yeah

05: What is your relationship status?

….its complicated

06: How do you want to die?

hopefully in my sleep of old age if I make it that far

07: What did you last eat?

uhhh two laugenbrötchen a few hours ago

08: Played any sports?

used to yeah, PE, fencing, horseback riding, swimming etc

09: Do you bite your nails?

no and I do not like it when other people do

10: When was your last physical fight?

does shoving my head against berry’s shoulder like an angry ram count

11: Do you like someone?

Obviously

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

nope and don’t plan to; I don’t do full nighters

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

so many people you have no idea

14: Do you miss someone?

also so many people. I have a lot of feelings about people.

15: Have any pets?

yeag the dog two cats three guinea pigs

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

bored :( tired, it’s 23:31 as I’m typing this

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nah I haven’t kissed anyone romantically yet 😔

18: Are you scared of spiders?

yeah but like a reasonable amount

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

the void

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

reading, maybe going outside, I have a very exciting life

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

not really but like, if I’m financially emotionally socially stable enough at some point in like 10+ years I wouldn’t be absolutely opposed to it? Like I wouldn’t just say no. …under the condition that I am NOT the pregnant one fuck no

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

none, I could’ve gotten ear piercings but never did

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

idk like arts? Officially, arts religion and physics

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

yeag many people HOW AM I LIKE A THIRD THROUGH

26: What are you craving right now?

any meat. I’m literally craving meat 24/7 it’s so bad (I haven’t eaten meat since December)

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I mean probably? Not on purpose and/or that I know of?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

No

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

yeah :( accidentally, I was making a joke but she didn’t pick up on it and it was like the straw that broke the camel‘s back I think

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Everything man, I’m answering this rn

31: Does somebody love you?

….yeah?

32: What is your favourite color?

red and blue :3

33: Do you have trust issues?

I don’t think so? I don’t trust a lot of people tho

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

hm. Good question? I have a lot of dreams. Probably mutuals or friends or my pigs

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

depends on the person, some I have never given a second chance some should’ve been out of my life ages ago but I’m weak

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive, aka just ignore and hope it doesn’t happen again

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

nah. Arguably, it’s probably one of the best so far; everything kinda went downhill since May, but I can’t really rate years

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

havent 😔

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

as a babe prolly

51: Favourite food?

I don’t really have one but I like chocolate cake and Bratwurst and Klöße :3

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

nah it’s the universe shit just happens

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

idk, brush my teeth?

55: Are you mean?

I can be but not seriously. My teacher once said I can make comebacks too well.

57: Do you believe in true love?

not necessarily in the fairytale form but yeah there’s something like that

58: Favourite weather?

extremely rainy and thundering and shit

59: Do you like the snow?

yeah but we don’t really get any

60: Do you wanna get married?

legally yes but not at a church that’s too much stuff to deal with

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

no, not a fan.

62: What makes you happy?

These are TOO UNPRECISE

63: Would you change your name?

tbh probably not? Like I hate my name but idk what to do about it like it’s still my name

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

yeag cos I don’t remember

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

….that would be a problem bc I’m a lesbian (we could stay friends obv but like. That’s it)

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

hmmm you

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

like how do you define talked to. I talked to the boy at tutoring I guess? In passing?

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

how do you define deep. I had a chat with berry and rice on Monday?

69: Do you believe in soulmates? Sorta, I think for the vast majority of people there’s someone right for them out there

[cloudbattrolls]

Encroached

Gliese Benral | Gliese's Hedge Maze | Present Night

If you want to know what the creatures in this drabble are, I recommend checking out @nihils-trolls's plot!

The blueblood held the shears expertly, snipping away at her hedges with sweeps of long practice. How long had she kept these? Since she was six? Five, even? 

She couldn’t quite remember how long it had been, only that she’d planted them when her eyes were still gray and her horns were maybe half the length they were now. 

Gliese heard a very dramatic scream coming from a few hedge walls over and her ears flicked irritably. Couldn’t a girl trim her plants in peace?

It didn’t sound like Zeller or Kit, so who cared. Maybe Haredad had caught an intruder.

When a yell followed it the little highblood sighed deeply and supposed she’d better go check it ou -

What the fuck was that doing here.

A shadowy black blob peeped out of her hedge, one awful green and golden eye showing. She dropped her shears on the ground with a thud and swung out her flamethrower to blast it, not caring about the damage or the smoke now rising to the sky as fire licked through the plants. 

At least she kept them well watered; it wouldn’t spread too quickly, and she didn’t have time to worry about it right now.

She whistled high and shrill for her lusus, if he was in range, but if not she’d just have to solve it herself.

Her flamethrower away again, Gliese ran toward the voice now yelling and cursing again. Her eyes crackled with orange sparks as she called ghosts to her, skeletons as well. None of her plant constructs would be good here; better things that couldn’t burn, or wouldn’t do so easily.

Now she had to hope she wouldn’t have a fucking seizure. 

At least if she did, her skeletons were instructed to preserve her at all costs.

A few burst from the ground and gave her the lift she needed to leap over the next hedge and -

-swear like the soldier she’d once been as she landed, flamethrower out again as her angry and baffled glowing eyes took in the wreckage before her.

Bigger blobs had already consumed half the plants in this area and were still eating away at them. The ground itself was riddled with puddles of black, gleaming like oil in the moonlight. 

“HEEEEELLLLLP!”

Cried a terrified voice.

Right, the troll.

She spun around and saw them; their bright red coat made it easy as they ran like hell from the biggest monster yet, but it was clear it would catch them in seconds.

Gliese opened fire on that blob, not getting all of it on her first go, but enough to slow it down, let the troll - let the troll whip out an umbrella and quickly rise up into the air with a shimmering aura of red magic as they clutched its handle. 

She grinned. Another mage.

Then she blasted at the big blob again, her skeletons and ghosts keeping the ones around her busy, but she could feel a seizure coming on. 

Ugh, it wasn’t fucking going down.

Fuck it. She had no choice. 

Gritting her teeth, Gliese pushed her psiionics further, her vision growing hazy, and the last thing she heard before she passed out was the howl of her ghosts inhabiting her skeletons, bolstering their power.

Then it all went dark.

—

She woke up in her hive.

On her couch.

Damn. How long had she been out?

She looked out the nearest window and realized not too long, the sky had barely lightened; the moons hadn’t yet set.

“Hello, I do hope this IS your hive and I didn’t just follow some skeletons that carried you into someone else’s. But I thought: big fancy mansion, blueblood, the two go together like salt and pepper. Oh, I put the fires out too, because widespread arson seemed like a bad idea.” 

She sat up and looked over, noticing the troll from before.

They didn’t have their coat on anymore, and their umbrella was nowhere to be seen.

“Say, do you know what those are? I haven’t the foggiest, but they certainly are nasty, aren’t they? Glad you came along and razed them to ashes when you did. I wish I’d known about that before.”

They nodded after saying so.

“Felt like rot to me. What kind, I’m not sure, but something along those lines. Very strange, don’t you think?”

Gliese blinked her orange eyes as they spoke, slightly surprised by how the maroon looked in just a fitted black tank top and purple skirt over black leggings. 

They were a little on the heavier side - unusual for a lowblood, though they were still more lightly built than several mid and highbloods she’d seen. They looked soft, but she saw calluses on their hands; they’d clearly labored before, were probably stronger than they looked.

They also had nice curves.

“Are you even listening to me?” They said with minor annoyance and bafflement after a brief pause, arms crossed. 

She noticed their coat had been flung on another couch and - huh, they had a blue bracelet on one wrist, only a few hues above her own.

“Yeah, yeah, I know about these things already.” The hare troll said dismissively, waving a hand.

They sputtered, and she enjoyed their shocked expression behind their big red glasses.

“Wh - why didn’t you say so at the start?” They demanded in their goofy accent. 

Seriously, they sounded like some of the characters on the shows she used to watch. It was funny, but kind of cute to listen to.

“Didn’t feel like it.” She said smugly, ears flicking.

They put a hand to their face.

“Brilliant. Brilliant! I’m dealing with someone who thinks it’s cute to waste my time! Oh, of all the luck…”

The blueblood smirked at their agitation, watching their ears flick up and down. 

“It is pretty funny. Hey, look on the bright side; I can tell you what I know.”

She paused as they sighed and took their hand away, looking at her mulishly. Then she addressed them again.

“What the fuck’s your name, anyway.”

“Crista.” They said, sullen. “What’s yours.”

“Gliese.”

“Well, miss Gliese, I hope you’re not just yanking my chain and you do know something about these little abominations.” They said irately. “I almost died out there! As you might recall.”

“Vaguely.” She said in a casual tone meant to irritate the other mage, who rewarded her with a huff and by putting their hands on their hips. 

“But yeah, I do. Friend of mine’s studying them right now, and I’ve learned the hard way to not put any magic close to them, or they’ll eat it and try to kill you getting the rest. They’re not alive, they’re not dead, they just…exist. Fucked up little things.”

“The real revelation here is that you have friends.” Muttered the lowblood grumpily, but with minimal bite, looking down at the floor. 

Gliese felt like she was being gently teethed by a scolded puppy who wanted to try gnawing at you again, but was too nervous that they might actually be kicked this time.

She smirked again. What a dork.

“Aw, try not to be too jealous. How many friends have you got?”

They squawked in protest and she laughed, which only made them squawk again.

“Enough! More than you, probably! With your charming personality and stunning gift for being a right pain in the neck!”

She grinned wider. “Wow, really laying on the flattery.”

They looked done, their hands gripping one another. “This isn’t at all important, I don’t know why I let myself get distracted…do you know anything else?”

“They have blood inside them sometimes.” She said, just as casual. “And my friend gave it a drop of godling blood to see what would happen.”

They gaped at her. “Where did they…I don’t even want to know. No! I really don’t want to know, at all. Insane. You’re both insane.”

“Hey.” She snapped. “Call me what you want, but leave Quil out of it. She’s doing her best.”

They snorted. “Fine, fine! It’s just you that’s insane, then. Happy?”

“I’ve been happier.” She quipped, flippant.

“I am weeping most tragically for you, you simply can’t tell right now.” Said Crista, sounding infinitely weary. “So what happened? With the blood?”

“Dunno. It revitalized it a bit, I think. I’ll ask Quil.”

The maroon considered that, then spoke again.

“Fire’s good against it, of course. Anything else you know of?”

“They can be contained with anti-magic stuff.” The blueblood replied, thinking of Quilis’s walls of force. “I’d stick with fire, though.”

“I see.” Sighed the lowblood. “Well! Can’t hang around, I’d best be going.”

Gliese blinked. 

“What, you don’t want to rest or anything?”

They looked at her.

“What makes you think I’m stupid enough to loiter in the hive of a blueblood I don’t know? And you’re a necromancer. I only trust one of those.”

Gliese scowled.

“If I wanted you dead, you would be.” She said scornfully, thin arms crossed. “You’re no match for me and you know it. If I was some wicked witch I’d feed you to my zombie or whatever.”

They snorted heavily, shaking their head. “Oh, she has a zombie! Wonderful. Yes, you sound more and more trustworthy by the moment. I’ll be leaving now.”

They went to put their coat back on, but before they could, the necromancer cleared her throat.

“Well, if you wanna leave without dinner…”

“You sound like you want to poison me!” Snapped the maroon, shaking their head as they (sadly for Gliese) put their coat back on and tied the waist ribbon. 

“At least try to be subtle about it.” They muttered under their breath.

The hare troll looked at the ornately painted ceiling. Maybe she was really rusty. Pity too, pitch had always been the quad she was best at.

Then she looked back down at the other mage.

“Look. I don’t want to fucking poison you, you idiot. You can watch me make the food yourself if you’re that worried. I’m trying to make up for the fact you got fucked up on my property. Why the hell would I have helped you just to kill you now?”

“Don’t ask me why I think bluebloods will act like bluebloods, miss, we’d be here til the sun came up.” Crista said wearily. 

Their ears flicked as they considered it, then they sighed and took their coat off again.

“Fine, since you’re so insistent. I won’t say I’m not a bit peckish. But I am going to watch you make it.”

She grinned. “Sure, sure. Hope you like vegetarian.”

They raised their thick eyebrows.

“Depends on the dish. Please tell me there will be dessert.”

She paused. “Do fruit bars count?”

Crista groaned.

“You’re killing me.”

She smirked. 

“Relax, I have dark chocolate if you’re that desperate. Just don’t take a lot of it, it’s usually for my moirail.”

“Rest assured I shan’t.” They said wryly, and the blueblood laughed as she turned away to walk to her kitchen, Crista shaking their head as they followed.

[random4townheadcanons]

can you do headcanons of what 4towns habits are?

(sorry, english isn't my first language haha)

4town members’ habits headcanons!!

Ok so these aren’t necessarily all going to be bad habits, and some of them might not even technically be habits but nonetheless I hope you enjoy :)

Robaire - he is constantly cleaning and reorganizing anything that can be cleaned or reorganized. It’s kind of a compulsion. He’s a perfectionist, and if he can’t think of something to do, he will deep clean the entire house, even if he did it yesterday. Sometimes the other members will walk into the house or exit their rooms and see everything completely rearranged for no reason. He also tends to overwork himself and doesn’t let himself relax enough, and the other members often have to step in to make sure he takes enough personal time.

Jesse - Jesse can obsessively worry about the other members, and can get really protective of them, which does more harm than good. It causes him a lot of stress but he just can’t help it. They always remind him that everything will be okay but he is constantly anxious about them getting themselves into bad situations, and then his protective side really jumps out. He also tends to feel like he needs to be the most responsible and make sure to take care of everyone else (especially Tae), but he knows that they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, its just one of his obsessive “dad habits”.

Tae Young - Tae gets extremely worked up and irritated about things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. If he is playing a video game and he keeps spending a ton of time trying to beat a level that he just can’t get past, he will get PISSED. He will start cussing and possibly cry angry tears. T offers to help him, but Tae always refuses because he wants the satisfaction of being able to say that he did it himself. (I’m picturing Tae playing Cuphead and trying to beat Dr. Kahl’s robot and screaming at the screen with tears streaming down his face while T tries to cheer him up but is agonized over the fact that he would easily be able to beat it for him and save him all the trouble).

Aaron T - T always puts other people and their issues before his own, and when other people try to help him with one of his problems/struggles, he tries to play it off as a joke because he doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone else. However, he has gradually stopped doing this because he knows they actually care for him and he’d never be a burden to them. He also always waits way too long before he decides to get gas for his car, so they will be driving and then Z will be like “HOLY SHIT T, YOU NEED TO GET GAS, LIKE RIGHT NOW!” And its a miracle that he makes it to the gas station every time. This one isn’t really a bad habit, but he is always hugging or leaning on the other members (usually Z) and he wouldn’t be able to quit if he tried, but they all love that about him and would never want him to change.

Aaron Z - he’s a compulsive hand washer/showerer. If Z sees something that grosses him out or leaves a bad taste in his mouth, he will force himself to wash his hands or take a shower, and it has gotten to a point where T carries a bottle of hand lotion for him so his hands don’t dry out. If they watch a particularly terrifying horror movie, no matter how late at night it is, Z will need to take a shower after and he will make T sit on the floor and wait for him (and talk to him the whole time) so he “doesn’t die.” He’s also an irrational thinker when he gets scared, and he often catastrophizes and prepares for the worst. He also tries to downplay his emotions because he doesn’t want to seem needy, but obviously the other members have taught him that he doesn’t need to hide anything. He is most comfortable and transparent with T, because they’re inseparable and are never apart.

I hope you liked these :)

KEEP SENDING REQUESTS!!

[singofus-a]

@nectaric asked: zeus was there, in the underworld, not because hera or hestia or even poseidon had put them up to it -- because none of them had. their wife and hestia had actually said very little to them at all since the incident. zeus was there because they would not be a hypocrite any longer. they were the one who had suggested the two of them make an effort to get along - and they were the one who had poured the wine down hades' shirt instead.

more than anything, zeus was embarrassed.

so they waited now in hades' entryway until their older brother arrived. the sight of hades' face as he entered was enough to give zeus pause, but they pushed through and offered him a curt bob of their head.

"before you say anything, i know you're likely still very angry with me, and i don't blame you." zeus fired out, almost rushed, in case hades decided to strike them again. "i just need you to know that what i did was childish, and cruel, and -- and i'm sorry. i won't give you any excuses, i just need you to hear it from my mouth."

unprompted ask | Always Accepting

The lack of his staff at this entrance was extremely disconcerting, as was the doormen's refusal to answer his question about why this guard shift was stretched so thin. Security and image were two things Hades did not skimp on, and he was in a residual bad mood enough already for this to truly irritate him. Dismissals would be had as soon as he figured out who was responsible.

Then he walked in to his sibling standing there. Just then he also heard the door be closed behind him and two shades hurrying off away.

Cowards.

Black eyes glower at Zeus as they open their stupid mouth to spurt whatever it was. Their placations and acceptance of his current anger barely registered with him - too busy concocting his next words carefully. Especially with the cold shoulder he was getting from even Hestia currently. Even after he sent a replacement for the table that was shattered in their conflict. A symbol of him taking the higher road - especially since he was not the one to charge them into said table.

It was only when he heard their admission and even an apology that he actually did listen, eyebrows slightly raised in shock. All that he would show of his emotions, though it did truly take him by surprise. Once they were done, his jaw set for a moment as he had to replan what he was going to say. He could hardly be too harsh now, but he also wouldn't accept the apology easily either. What if this was just a front to get back into Hera and Hestia's good books. Or a ploy to get a favour from him. Hades had known them too long to not consider those options.

"What is it that you are sorry for?" He wants clarification. Do they feel that any part of what they did was justified? Because in his mind, none of it was. That didn't mean he was in the right, but this was Zeus's apology now.

It was almost annoying this, to not be the first to initiate this. That Zeus was somehow now doing better than him.

They were also the one to suggest we reconcile.

That thought made him feel a little more childish then. That he had been happy to wallow in their feud, even gleeful in their recent fight that they were about to return to it. Lost in being right and vindictive.

Guilt rebuilt its home in his chest.

[pokemon-legends-and-legacies]

💥🥞🌋🌏✏️☄️ for Ronan?

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Because Ronan has a complicated relationship with his parents due to perceiving them as being “irresponsible”, he tries to be as different from them as possible. But, this just means that Ronan often rejects his own emotions and impulses that he thinks are troublesome. Whenever he finds himself wanting to try something spontaneous or messy, he suppresses the urge and mentally berates himself for it. However, over time he finds that rejecting his true self is harming his creativity, something he takes pride in, and has to reconcile with being more similar to Flint and Volkner than he’d like, and that it might not be such a bad thing to take risks and be spontaneous like they do.

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

Ronan loves to cook, breakfast being one of his favorite meals to make. Because neither of his parents are morning people, it meant Ronan usually had the kitchen to himself in the mornings. Getting to cook in peace and have the house essentially to himself was a highlight of his morning routine. His favorite to make and eat is a simple, traditional Japanese breakfast! He’s made the various dishes enough that it's second nature, and he finds going through all the steps to be relaxing in their routine. Once he moves out, he tends to take his time when getting ready in the morning, really savoring the cooking process and each bite, so it’s a very special meal for him!

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or an instant explosion?

Ronan is very easily irritated, with seemingly everything able to annoy him depending on the circumstances. However, his actual temper is more of a slow-burn. Ronan is very prickly in his everyday demeanor, but when actually angry he’ll give the cold shoulder. Once he stops his grumbling and needling and is just quietly glaring and seething, that’s when he’s really mad at someone. His anger tends to pass fairly quickly, however, since he finds it tiring to be that upset for long periods of time and it’s easier for him to just avoid people who get that much on his nerves than waste energy being angry at them.

🌏 EARTH - will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

Ronan finds it incredibly difficult to open up to people and struggles with his own feelings of affection and love to others. He sees himself as a loner and rejects attempts from people who try to grow closer to him beyond casual friendships. However, when he does let someone into his heart, he becomes completely devoted. He’s picky enough with who he allows close to him that anyone that does become that important to him, will be someone he’d do anything for, as they deserve it in his eyes. At his core, though, Ronan is someone who looks out for himself first and foremost, so while he might not give up everything for someone he loves, he would do everything in his power within reason to provide for them as long as it meant he could continue to exist alongside them as well.

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

I don’t usually have quotes or lyrics written down or memorized for specific characters, but as for general inspiration a lot of Ronan’s influence came from the idea of him being inherently contradictory. He’s passionate at heart - but closes himself from those strong emotions, he’s methodical and precise - but secretly also enjoys pouring his heart without care into his poetry, he keeps himself isolated and aloof - but when he does love it’s with his whole being. So I tend to associate him with other characters that fit those tropes as well! (Also a friend told me he looks like BBC Sherlock and I can’t unsee it now and I hate it so there’s that too.)

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

Generally, what you see with Ronan is what you get. He dresses in dark colors and has a permanent scowl on his face. He’s brooding and irritable and doesn’t like socializing. His consideration of fashion, seen in his more formal, stylish clothing, hints at his more refined side, which is emphasized in his “carefully chosen words that often have hidden meanings” (he will quote poetry when he doesn’t know what else to say). However, Ronan does have hidden depths for those willing to dig for them, but most people don’t want to put up with him long enough to do so or just like his dark and brooding exterior as is and prefer to imagine their own fantasies on how he’d be with someone he’s close to.

[survey--s]

421.

~HABiTS~

Do you tend to speed when you drive? Not on purpose, but it definitely happens. We have a lot of roads round here that go from 40 to 30 then back again in a short space of time and it’s easy to lose track lol.

Do you smoke cigarettes? Not anymore, but I did smoke occasionally as a student.

Does your temper flare a lot? I wouldn’t say so, but I am easily irritated.

Do you get emotional easily? Yes. Not outwardly, though.

Do you get obnoxious when you’re drunk? No, I don’t think so.

Which shoe goes on first? Whichever is closest I think.

Are you lazy? No. I enjoy lazy days and downtime but not at the expense of getting stuff done. I still walk the dog, do housework and keep the house clean etc.

Name one thing you do that people always tell you about. Talk to animals like they’re people.

Are you superstitious? No.

Do you get bored with relationships quickly? No.

Can you sleep without blankets covering you? I CAN, but I’d never choose to. I love being covered and feeling cosy under blankets.

What position do you sleep in? Normally curled up on my side, but sometimes I sleep on my back.

What do you do when you’re angry? Rant, or shut down, depending on the situation.

What do you do when you’re sad? Cry, wallow, watch sad films or listen to sad music.

Who do you call when you have a bad day? My mum.

-Y0UR ABC’S-

A - is for the last person that made you ANGRY. I can’t remember the last time I was properly angry, to be honest.

B - is for BEER you prefer. I’m not really a fan of beer.

C - is for do you have a CAT? Yeah, we have three cats named Layla, Toby and Purrlock.

D - is for can you DANCE? Not very well, no.

E - is for do you have your EARS pierced? Yeah, I have eight ear piercings at the moment - used to have more.

F - is for your best FRIEND. Michael.

G - is for did you ever watch GUTS on Nickelodeon? No, we never had Nickelodeon as a channel - just whatever shows were bought by ITV.

H - is for the last person who HUGGED you? Michael.

I - is for close your eyes.. what IMAGE do you see? Blackness and like, a zooming galaxy effect.

J - is for have you ever been to JAIL? Nope.

K - is for when is the last time you flew a KITE? About five years ago.

L - is for the LOVE of your life. Michael.

M - is for the last piece of MAIL you got. A parcel that contained Toby’s medication.

N - is for do you remember NERF guns? I remember them but I was never allowed one and never played with them.

O - is for do you OWN a car? I do indeed.

P - is for your favorite PASTTIME. Horse riding.

Q - is for do you like peace & QUIET? Definitely. I need at least a couple of hours to myself everyday just to maintain my sanity.

R - is for do you like the color RED? I love burgundy/deep reds.

S - is for how many hours of SLEEP you need to function? I can cope on none, but my ideal amount is 8-9 hours a night.

T - is for what TIME is it? 7.46pm.

U - is for what is UNDER your bed? Loads of Mike’s stuff. He uses under the bed as some kind of storage area.

V - is for what you did last VALENTINE’S day. I think we got a takeaway? We both worked though.

W - is for do you drink a lot of WATER? No. I pretty much never drink plain water.

X - is for have you ever had an X-RAY? Yeah, I had teeth x-rays three days ago, actually.

Y - is for the last person you YELLED at. Michael, but just to get his attention.

Z - is for have you ever watched ZORRO? Nope.

-RAND0M-

Who do you wish you could hang out with right now? I’m happy enough on my own for now.

Name one thing you absolutely can not stand. Bratty children whose parents can’t be bothered to keep them under control.

Where do you spend most of your time? Home or out walking dogs.

If you could fly, where would you go first? Somewhere hot and sunny - maybe The Seychelles.

What was the best vacation you’ve ever been on? All our skiing trips to Canada or the holidays we took to Italy.

Have you ever hit a squirrel when you were driving? Hmm, probably. They just run out into the road and it’s safer to keep going than it is to stop or try and swerve them.

Did your car ever break down? No, I’ve had a couple of flat tyres but otherwise I’ve been pretty lucky.

What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekend? Horse ride, sleep, watch TV, relax.

What radio station do you listen to most often? Radio One.

Pick one: Papa John’s, Dominoes, or Pizza Hut. Papa John’s, but we don’t have one nearby unfortunately. Then Pizza Hut goes second, and Dominos is last.

What is the longest amount of time you’ve been awake? 50+ hours.

What would you do if you found out the world was ending in one week? I mean, there’s not really much I could except carry on as normal, lol.

Do scary movies make you paranoid when you watch them alone? They don’t scare me, I just don’t enjoy them.

Name one thing you’ve lied about recently. I can’t remember.

What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen? Big Momma’s House 2.

Who was the first person to ever give you flowers? A boy named William when we were about six.