#it’s always things that aren’t in nikki’s plan that fit her best

[nikkiruncks]

It’s funny how Theo is the ideal guy for Nikki on paper, and how it should work, but in the end, her heart still wanted Nate.

[petersasteria]

hope ur ok || holland!reader

sour masterlist || holland!reader || sour taglist

3,637 words tw: sad shit bc spoiler: someone dies, italics are flashbacks, bold is a letter i don't have a holland reader banner so i used the olivia banner instead. also, sorry for the delay of posting this lmao

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You were in your room, sitting on your bed as your eyes looked around. Your room was painted your favorite color and it made your brothers jealous because their rooms were painted white, it was boring. Yours had posters, polaroids of you and your siblings, fairy lights, a bean bag chair, and a simple full body mirror. You heard a knock on your door and you looked to see that it was Tom smiling brightly with a plate of your favorite cookies.

“Hey.” He said softly as he entered the room and shut the door behind him with his foot while balancing the plate of cookies in his hands.

“Hi.” You smiled.

“Sam kicked me out of the kitchen, but I was there first and fortunately, I finished the cookies on time. I hope they taste alright.” Tom said as he sat beside you, the plate of cookies in between you.

“They smell good, so you did a good job.” You chuckled. Tom took one cookie and looked at you, “Taste test.”

He took a bite and chewed it a few times before saying, “It tastes alright. It’s not like how Sam makes it, but I’m not Sam. I’m Tom.”

Both of you erupted into a fit of giggles as you talked about random things. The plate of cookies were now on your bedside table and only half of the cookies were eaten.

“Hey, how’s your friend?” Tom asked casually. Both of you were laying on your bed, facing the ceiling.

“Which friend?”

“The blond one who had one hell of a musical talent.” Tom said. “He used to come here and play on Sam’s piano.”

“Oh, James! I don’t really know what happened to him. We, uh, fell out of touch.”

“I see.” Tom said. “I hope he’s okay.”

“Same here.” You told him. “My friend, Madeline, got a scholarship last time I checked. She got accelerated in school and she got to attend uni ahead of us. I’m really proud of her, y’know?”

“Where is she now?” Tom asked.

You looked at Tom with sorrow in your eyes. He glanced at you and he could see how hurt you were. “We don’t talk...anymore. We used to. She’s basically like a sister to me, but we don’t talk anymore. Regardless, I’m really happy for her and I miss her. Wherever she is, I hope she’s alright.”

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door and Tom sat up quickly. The door opened and revealed Sam. “Hey, it’s time to eat dinner. You’re washing the dishes tonight, Tom!” Sam said before leaving.

“That little shit.” Tom laughed. “C’mon, Y/N. Let’s eat!” He got up from your bed and you followed suit with worry and concern in your eyes. You shook your head and shrugged it off. What you’ll say can wait.

Both of you went down to join everyone on the dining table. You sat in your usual seat, but didn’t contribute in the conversation. You were just happy to be there. You looked around and saw how happy your brothers were. You looked at your parents and saw them smiling. It was a beautiful sight to see. After all, all you wanted was for them to be happy. They deserve to be happy.

Harry and Tom cleaned up as you watched them help each other. “Next time, we should cook Y/N’s favorite dinner.” Tom said. Harry looked at him and shrugged, “Why not? I never liked it, but I’m sure she’d appreciate it very much.”

The next few days were spent with Tom. He never left your side and he made sure you were alright. You were the youngest and as the eldest Holland child, he made it his job to look after you. He wasn’t close with you before, but somehow as you grew older, it changed. Tom was now excited to spend time with you. He loved talking to you and he loved laughing with you. In his opinion, you make his stress and worries fade away.

Your birthday is coming up and he wanted everything planned out. He already had plans, actually. He knew what cake you wanted, he knew what decorations to put up, he planned the food, and he even had a theme in mind. He was really prepared. Paddy had to go with Tom in town just to buy balloons. Tom was really going all out.

“Are you going to help me set up tonight? Y/N’s birthday is tomorrow and I want her to be surprised when she wakes up. I can already imagine her face.” Tom smiled excitedly as he parked the car in the driveway.

“I can’t help you tonight. I have homework.” Paddy said as he looked at Tom who just shrugged. “Alright. No problem. Stay in school, Pads.” Tom smiled before exiting his car with Paddy following him.

They walked in and Tom saw you sitting on the arm of the couch with Sam and Harry. Tom smiled at the sight. “Hey, guys!” He greeted, causing the three of you to look at Tom and Paddy.

“Wow, you went shopping for a lot of things.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Sam asked with a grin.

“Nothing.” Tom smirked. “I’ll put these in my room.” Tom left and went upstairs to his room as Paddy walked to the couch and sat next to you. You looked at Paddy and smiled. You weren’t close with him, but you loved him dearly. You were only one year younger than him and he was always kind to you and you liked hanging out with him.

You looked at Sam and Harry and you held back a chuckle as you watch them annoy each other. It was a lovely sight to see.

Night time came and dinner was over a few hours ago. You were just standing in your backyard feeling the wind blowing and you knew that something was about to happen. You just didn’t know what. The backdoor opened and you turned around to see Tom with a small smile.

“What’re you doing out here? It’s cold.” He said as he tugged his jacket closer. He walked towards you and stood beside you. “What’s on your mind?”

You shrugged, “Nothing. I guess I’m just tired. I think I’ll rest now.”

Tom nodded. He suddenly remembered his plan and said, “Yeah, you can go upstairs now. I, uh, prepared your room.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at him. You walked towards the back door and stopped to turn around to look at Tom. He was already looking at you and you said, “I- Good night, Tom.”

“Good night, Y/N. Sweet dreams.” He smiled sweetly. You opened the door and walked in and went straight up the stairs to your room.

Tom stayed outside for a minute before walking in. He locked the back door and went to the living room where his brothers were. “Hey, guys! Ready to decorate?” Tom asked with a huge smile on his face. It was evident that he was excited.

“What’re you talking about?” Sam asked, looking at Tom with a confused face.

“Yeah, what’s happening?” Paddy questioned.

Tom scoffed and crossed his arms, “How could you guys forget?! It’s our sister’s birthday tomorrow and you guys aren’t preparing at all!”

Tom was yelling as the rest were looking at him sadly. Sam’s eyes were clouded with tears as he looked at Tom. Harry and Paddy looked at Sam, not wanting to be the ones to remind Tom. Sam sighed and closed his eyes and his tears fell. He wiped his tears and opened his eyes to face Tom.

“Tom, mate, she’s dead.” Sam said softly. “She’s been dead for two months now.”

“W-What are you talking about?” Tom shook his head slowly. He looked away from Sam and he saw you standing behind Sam. “She’s right there, Sam! She’s literally right behind you! How can you not see it?!”

“Tom, stop! She’s gone, okay?!” Harry exclaimed. “Y/N’s not here! She won’t be here anymore and it’ll be that way forever. We just have to accept that.”

“It was leukemia, Tom. She didn’t make it and we had a funeral and everything.” Paddy said softly.

You were confined in the hospital for about a week now and you were getting weaker and weaker as the days went on. Your family was trying to be positive, but all of you knew that it was your time to go. Before you were confined, you had written letters for them to read after you die and it was now hidden in their drawers.

Tom and Harry weren’t there when you passed because they were in a different country. They immediately went home when they heard the news. All of you knew that you weren’t going to make it, but all of you ignored that fact. Everyone except Tom was grieving. He held his mother as she cried and he stayed strong for his brothers. He couldn’t remember the last time he and his brothers slept in one room and he hated that they chose to do it again as soon as you were gone.

It was like a sleepover. They all talked about you and everything you did that the others didn’t know about. Turns out, you had secrets you shared with everyone except Tom.

“Wait, she told you guys about her secrets?” Tom asked that night.

“Yeah.” Harry nodded, eyes bloodshot from all the crying. “If something happens to her, she tells the first person she sees.”

“She never told me anything.” Tom stated.

“That’s because you’re the eldest. No one tells people about themselves to the eldest sibling.” Paddy answered.

“That’s unfortunate.” Tom frowned. “I wish I knew the things you knew.” He added.

“It’s alright, Tom. She didn’t have major secrets, anyway. Besides, she was just scared to tell you. That’s why she did that.” Sam explained.

Tom couldn’t sleep that night as he looked at his brothers. They were cuddled up next to each other and were fast asleep. Tom couldn’t help but think of you before finally drifting off. Days later, it was the funeral. The whole house was quiet and while your mum, Nikki, would appreciate it, for once in her life she wanted the noise. She wanted to hear boisterous laughing, heavy footsteps running up and down the stairs, yelling, the sound of Sam cutting vegetables, Dom’s loud typing, Paddy talking to his friend on the phone, Harry telling you to wake up and calling you a lazy bum for not being productive, and Tom playing with Tessa outside. Now, there was none of that.

When a husband or wife dies, the one they left behind is called a widow. When a child dies, what do you call their parents? No one’s ever come up with a word for that yet because it’s too painful to think about. You were young and you deserved all the best life has to offer. Nikki was devastated, but she knew that wherever you were, you aren’t in pain anymore and that was enough for her.

Tom wanted to scream, but he didn’t. He was numb. After the funeral, he and Harry decided to take a break from traveling to spend time with the rest of the family. He stopped working for a while and everyone understood that.

When they got home, Tom went straight to his room and cried. He cried and cried until no tears came out. His head ached, but he didn’t want to get up and get himself a glass of water. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table to ask Harry, but his phone died. Tom scoffed, sat up, and reached the drawer of his bedside table. He leaned over to look for his phone charger, but he saw a letter instead. It had his name on it and he realized that it was your handwriting. Tom quickly grabbed it and put his phone back on the bedside table. He opened the envelope and read what you wrote for him.

Dear Tom,

Hi. When you read this, you know that I'm gone. I'm sorry that we never got to bond a lot. I guess it's my fault because I was so scared of you. Despite that, I want you to know that I'm really happy for you and I'm proud of you.

You're my inspiration and please know that I'm very proud to be your sister.

I don't know where I'll end up when I'm gone, but please don't worry about me. I'll be okay, I can feel it. I'll just go where the wind takes me.

You're a kind person for the whole time I've known you. I'll miss everything and I'll miss your pranks and jokes. Please never stop doing those just because I'm gone. I hope you think of me whenever you tell a joke or pull a prank on Harry again.

I wish we bonded more. I wish we made cookies until Sam kicked us out of the kitchen because he needed to prepare for dinner. I wish we watched movies together and I wish we spoke often.

I'll miss you all the time and I love you. So much. Never forget that.

Your sister,

Y/N/N x

Tom cried again until he slept with the letter resting on his chest. The next morning, he got up to go to your room. He dreamt of you and he wanted to tell you about it. He glanced at the door and noticed that it was unlocked. He slowly opened it and to his surprise, he saw you standing there watching everyone outside from your window.

“Y/N.” Tom said.

You turned around and smiled at him, “Hey, Tom.”

“I dreamt of you! And in my dream, you were a ballet dancer. We did ballet together. Wouldn't that be something? It could be a bonding thing for us." Tom said with a big smile as he fully entered your room. All of a sudden, he forgot about your sickness, your death, your sickness. From an outsider's point of view, it was a sad sight to see. He was clearly in the denial stage.

Harry was on his way downstairs when he heard a voice coming from your room. He quietly opened the door and saw Tom excitedly talking to thin air.

"You know, I'm not doing anything anytime soon. Why don't we go out? It'll just be you and me, Y/N." Tom smiled. Harry's heart broke upon hearing this. His older brother was imagining their dead sister. Harry kept it to himself because he thought that Tom was coping that way.

It wasn't until Sam witnessed the same thing. Tom was in the kitchen and he was talking to thin air once more. Sam watched as Tom laughed and said a bunch of things. Sam kept it to himself too.

Paddy, however, was different. He went to Harry and Sam's room, unannounced. He closed and locked the door behind him as the twins looked at him in confusion.

"Okay, I can't be the only one to notice it." Paddy said with arms crossed.

"What're you talking about?" Harry asked.

"Tom." Was all Paddy said. The twins looked at each other before looking back at Paddy.

"What about him?" Sam asked, his eyebrows were raised a bit.

"Tom told me that he'll bake Y/N's favorite cookies tomorrow because Y/N said she was craving for it." Paddy explained.

"I saw Tom talking to thin air the day after the funeral. He was in Y/N's room." Harry confessed.

"I saw him doing that too, but he was in the kitchen this time. I'm worried about him." Sam said.

"What should we do?" Harry asked with a frown on his face.

"Let's just let him be for a while. Let’s just intervene when it gets out of hand.” Sam decided as the other two nodded.

They just let Tom be until they had enough.

Tom couldn't believe what his brothers were telling him. He felt sick to his stomach. His baby sister was gone and the thought of it ate him alive. He shook his head and Sam said, “Tom, everything will be alright. We’ll get through this together. We’ll be fine.”

“That can’t be true. I’ve been speaking to her. Stop fucking lying.” Tom cried.

“Tom, wake up! She’s not here, alright?! She’s not in her room anymore. Her things will forever be untouched and her books will be dusty. Her phone hasn’t been charged since she died and it’ll stay that way. All we have left are pictures, videos, and memories of her. We should accept that because no matter what happens, we can’t bring her back!” Harry said as his voice was raised.

“Just go to bed, mate. You’re tired.” Paddy said softly. “We’ll deal with this in the morning.”

Tom wiped his tears and went up to his room, slamming the door. He went to sleep and dreamt of you again. Both of you were on top of a small hill and the wind was blowing softly.

“Why can’t they see you?” Tom asked you.

“Because I only showed myself to you. I know that we haven’t been really close and I figured you’d want some kind of closure. In truth, I’m only here because of you. The light has been calling me and they want me to leave already, but I can’t because I know you’d be sad. I hate seeing you sad.” You explained.

“Then stay here.” Tom begged, but you shook your head.

“You need to let me go, Tom. It’s time. I can’t stay here forever.” You chuckled lightly.

“I just- I feel like nothing. When you were around, I felt like I had a purpose. Now, I just wish I could be with you.” He admitted.

“Don’t say that. Imagine how everyone will react if you’re gone. They’ll be upset. I’m so proud that you’re alive and well because you’ll get to go on with life and grow old. If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. Live the life I never got to live. Trust me when I say that you’ll be happier when you move on.”

“I don’t want to forget you and I don’t want you to think that we’re having fun without you.” He said.

“I won’t think that way because all I ever wanted for all of you is to be happy and healthy. I love you and I miss you, but I want you to have fun and to keep doing everything you love. Don’t stop because I’m gone. Don’t let me be a hindrance because that’ll make me sad and I’ll haunt you forever.” You said as Tom chuckled. “Besides, you don’t have to forget about me. I’ll always be in your heart.”

“Alright.” Tom said. “I think I’m ready to let you go.”

You smiled and nodded as you walked away and stepped into the light. Tom shouted, “Happy birthday, Y/N!”

You looked back and smiled. With that, he knew you were thanking him not just for greeting, but also for everything.

Tom woke up and it was already morning. He decided to get ready and to head to the cemetery. He walked downstairs and saw his brothers eating breakfast.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked before eating his cereal.

“The cemetery. It’s Y/N’s birthday.” Tom said. “I’ll go now. I don’t know what time I’ll be back.”

Tom left and the drive to the cemetery was short and quiet. He parked the car and walked to your grave. He smiled when he saw a small, framed picture of you that Harry placed there not too long ago. He sat in front of your grave and smiled, “Hey, Y/N. I know you can hear me.”

“I guess I did look crazy for a while and I now understand how everyone felt. I, um, I read your letter. I’m sorry too, y’know? I’m sorry I never made the effort to spend time with you. I guess it’s because all my life, I’ve only known about having brothers and when you came along, I didn’t know how to act. But I’m really happy that I got to see you grow up and I’m happy with our few moments together.”

“When you were five, I was fourteen. It’s a wide gap and I remember being so annoyed because your toys were everywhere.” He chuckled at the thought. “Regardless, I loved you and I still do. I’m happy that you grew up to be kind and loving. I’m really fucking happy for that.”

“In your letter, you said that I shouldn’t worry about you. Y/N, I’m sorry, but I can’t promise that. I’m your older brother and that automatically makes me sort of like a second parent especially when mum and dad aren’t around. So, I’ll always worry about you even though I know you’re okay and not in pain.”

“I do, however, promise to always dedicate my pranks to you. I know you’d love that. I’d wish that we bonded, but we already did that. You gave me a chance to get to know the sister I never got to know and that, above all, makes me so happy and grateful. That’s enough for me.”

“I don’t want to say cheesy shit and ask for guidance. I don’t want to burden you in heaven. Like, it’s called a resting place for a reason and I want you to rest easy. I just want to say that I miss you so much and I love you. Happy birthday.” He finished.

Just then, he felt the wind blow in his direction and he knew that you were okay.

* * * *

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @celestialholland @alinastarkrovs @piscesparker @prancerrparkerr @spideyspeaches @givebuckyhisplumsnow @blueleatherbag @theonly1outof-a-billion @hollandbroz-n-haz @starlight-starks @webmeupspiderdaddy @studiesinspanish @bi-lmg @minejungwoo @blossomhollands @markhyucksmells @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch

[maraudereestauderelb]

Touched

A Duff McKagan smut One Shot

Prompt: You go to a concert with one of your friends and band mates, who's having a thing with no other than the band's guitarist Slash. After the show you get to meet Duff McKagen and somehow end up having your first time with him.

MASTERLIST

Warning: sex (duh)

"They're good aren't they?", Y/F/N shouted over the loud music. "Amazing!" "Told ya!"

We were dancing along to the loud music and enjoying ourselves. It had taken her quite some time to convince me to come with her instead of heading for the Troubadour with our other two band mates. Apparently coming with my bassist had been the right choice though.

After a world tour, a successful album and quite a bit more money in my bank account than before we had left LA, I still felt more at home right here. In a rundown club on the strip with a still upcoming rock band on stage.

Y/F/N and I had fit in perfectly. Nobody would recognize just the two of us having a great time and getting drunk. Except maybe the group of aspiring musicians and rising rock bands of the strip. In this circle everyone knew everyone, knew in which bands they had played, who they were associated with, had partied together before and so on and so forth.

That was exactly the reason why we had ended up here. The lead guitarist used to play in a band called Road Crew and had surely attended one of the parties at our trailer before. Y/F/N knew him and she had told me he was in a new band that was very close on getting a record deal. "You gotta check them out! Heard they're fuckin good", had been the argument that had won me over in the end. Not so much her initial reason to come here. That being the fact that apparently the guy had been an awesome fuck and she wanted to get laid by him again.

Now being here, I didn't regret it. I was having fun! And I was back in my usual habitat and in a situation that was familiar. If after the concert she wanted to leave with her black haired curly-head she was free to do so. Either I'd bump into someone I knew or would simply head home and call it a night.

The singer seemed familiar as well and if I remembered correctly Nikki had left his ass outside at one of their parties.

"Yo, what's the lead singer's name again?", I asked Y/F/N. "Oh that's Axl. Hollywood Rose, remember?" "Oh yea, right!"

I got why those boys were apparently very close to making it. Shit, was Guns n' Rosesgood!

Y/F/N had successfully gotten us all the way through the crowd to the stage, where we danced and sang along some more until the band was finished.

A few moments after the last song had ended the club put on some generic rock music and blasted them through the speakers.

"You gonna head backstage or wait here?" This wasn't the type of club in which the band would go off stage and head backstage never to be seen again. They had a small room for all of them to change and would then most likely come out to party. I knew, because we had played here before.

"He saw me, so trust me, he's gonna come to me", she grinned, and I once again admired her confidence.

It didn't take too long before Slash really showed up. He greeted me as well and congratulated on our album, so I told him what a sick guitar player he is. I give credit where it's due.

But I also understood that it was probably best for me to piss off now. So that's what I did. I figured I'd get one last drink and keep my eyes open in case of seeing anybody I knew. And for real I spotted a few people I knew from college who quickly waved me over.

After telling them the generic shit everybody wanted to know coming back from tour, it actually turned into a lot of fun to party with them. No coke but sure as hell a lot of alcohol.

It was hours later when they decided to leave and I had actually planned to leave with them

when I spotted a barkeeper, I knew. He had also attended a bunch of our parties and was a cool guy. So I sat down at the bar and joked around with him some more as the club kept getting emptier.

The club surely was anything but empty at one point, neither was it packed. It wasn't so crowded anymore, and I had completely lost track of time when someone sat down on the barstool next to me.

I didn't pay much attention and simply took another sip from my vodka lemon until he said: "You know, your friend's already gone, right?"

I turned to face him and recognized him as one of Slash's band members, right after I had been speechless for a moment because of how handsome he was.

"Yea, I know", I nodded and added grinning: "So is your guitarist, right?" "Obviously", he answered laughing: "Should've seen him backstage after the concert, couldn't get to her fast enough!" I joined his laughter, finished my drink and looked around. "Your remaining band member's left with a groupie as well, huh?" "No, fuckin idea where they are", he smiled and waved over to Jimmy, the barkeeper: "Another one of these for the little Rockstar here and I take whatever she has."

"Thank you", I told him with a soft smile. He waved it off: "I'm Duff McKagan by the way." "Y/N Y/L/N", I replied. "I know, was at one of your trailer parties before ya guys became famous." "Oh were you?", I asked surprised. I would've bet I'd recognize such a pretty face. Blond, tall, bassist. I was in fuckin heaven.

"You then ones with the trailer with the IV in the living room, right?" "Yupp, that's us", I nodded with a smirk: "Then I'm sorry for not recognizing you..."

"Don't worry bout it", he smiled: "Doubt we got the chance to talk...not that I wouldn't have wanted to..."

"We should have! Then I probably would've listened to you guys sooner! And Oh. My. God. You're amazing!", I gushed excitedly. "Thanks! Hoping it'll get us where you are now." "You'd have to be a complete idiot not to fuckin sign you!"

"I fucking hope so", he sighed and took a big gulp from his vodka: "You the song writer, right?" He suddenly changed the topic.

"Yes, why?" "I dunno", he shrugged: "When I first saw your music video on TV I couldn't help but fuckin wonder what complete asshole hurt this beautiful girl..."

His words hit me like a fucking train, because they reminded me of my former best friend Nikki Sixx, whom I had been stupid enough to fall for, but soon my drunken brain focused on something else: He thought I was beautiful...

"An asshole that's no longer a problem", I laughed. "Well cheers to that", the blond guy smirked and clicked our glasses: "Lucky me."

I returned his smirk and soon felt his hand on my thigh.

"How come you didn't leave with a groupie?", I tease him and sip on my glass. "Not my thing..." "What an utter liar", I thought. "And also", he went on: "I saw you in the crowd dancing next to your friend and knew exactly who to go for."

The way he looked into my eyes send chills through my body and I quickly took another sip from my drink.

"You alright?", Jimmy asked from further away to make sure I was fine, and I quickly nodded.

"You're pretty confident, huh?", I asked Duff. "Why?" "Well, what if that one girl you decided to go for wasn't interested?", I teased him.

Was I interested? I mean...damn he was hot and watching him on stage had been hot! His touch on my thigh made me feel hot! But for fuck's sake I didn't knowhim!

"That would be pretty sad for both of us", he shrugged and winked at me before looking at his glass and away from me.

Was he right? God, I could already feel the heat inside of me rising and a quiet voice in the back of my head reminded me that I had seen him shirtless on stage and wondered what it would feel like to touch him.

But damn it, I was drunk!

He lit a cigarette and I gave my everything not to stare at his lips for longer.

"I liked you better when you were funny and not seductive", I shrugged as well with a smirk and made him laugh. "Ouch, thanks!", he replied smiling: "In that case you'd have loved to see me lookin like an idiot when I got to Slash and your friend hours ago just to realize your gone."

"Maybe you should've hurried more, you know, the way your friend Slash did", I teased him more and calmed my nerves.

"He's just a funny guy", I told myself: "Joke around with him some more and then get your ass back home."

"Well, in the end you waited here for me anyway." "Rockstars don't wait for anyone", I joked and took the cigarette from him to take a drag as well. I could tell he was staring at my lips this time but was ripped out of his thoughts when I handed it back.

He cleared his throat and said: "Always wanted to fuck a rockstar."

I almost choked on my drink. That was my sign. The cards were on the table. I should tell him that this certainly wouldn't be the night he'd get what he wants and leave! But I was curious... so damn curious...

I couldn't deny that I was attracted to him! Maybe I could at least make out with him...find out what his lips felt like...there was nothing wrong about that.

"That's what the girls always tell you?", I tried to mock him but was too nervous to sound convincing. "You're quite a joker, huh?" "At least tryin to..."

"It's cute", he admitted. "Good, because I never run out of stupid jokes..."

"Trust me, I'd know a way or two to shut you up", he grinned to himself and took a last drag before he stubbed the cigarette out.

God, his words went straight to my core and put pictures in my head I hated but at the same time desperately wanted to happen. I wanted to find out what he wanted to do!

"Ya know what I always wanted to find out?", I asked without thinking about it twice. "What is it, gorgeous?" "If it's true that bass players don't just have skilled fingers when it comes to playin instruments."

I cracked the joke before I had thought about it. Why? Because I always had to listen to idiots tell me that and because I somehow really wanted to find out.

His smirk grew winder than I had seen it all night and it made me knees weak. "I can definitely show ya that."

"How about you first make me shut up?"

I had barely finished my sentence before I felt his free hand in my neck and soon enough his lips on mine.

I felt like melting right then and there! His lips moving against mine felt so good! But what started as a rather innocent kiss quickly became more heated. I grabbed the hem of his leather jacket, not to pull him closer but because I needed to hold on to something, anything."

His lips were moving against mine before he gently captured my lower lip with his. It was hard not too moan on the spot! And even harder when I tasted his tongue.

I damned those stupid barstools! I wanted him closer, needed him closer.

When we finally separated again my entire body was totally antsy!

"Speechless?", he asked teasingly. God, he was so damn hot!

I tried to think of something witty and fun, but I couldn't summon a single proper thought.

"You know...to prove the other thing we should probably move this somewhere more private...", he whispered into my ear and hadn't goose pumps already covered my entire body they definitely would have after he seductively kissed my neck.

I should tell him no. I should move my fucking ass back home.

But when he leaned back again and all I could think about was how I buried my fingers in his blond hair, I just nodded...

He had his arm around my waist when he let me out of the club and down strip. It was still dark and it wasn't hard to tell that there were still a bunch of parties going on in other places as well. Like I said, I had long lost my sense for time.

"My place ain't far from here", he told me and I nodded. Excitement was bubbling inside of me and gosh, I couldn't wait to kiss him again!

All worries and negative thoughts had been long gone as we walked through the cold night. I kept looking at him from the side and tried to hide the excited smirk on my lips. But

damn, he was even taller than I had guessed and looked so handsome in the dim glow of the streetlights.

I didn't know what to say. Where words needed?

I realized how he eyed me as well and a smug smile appeared on his lips. Shit, I wanted him. I had never felt this need for someone before, but I had also never allowed myself to get this carried away.

I bit my lower lip and tried to clear my thoughts but that attempt was quickly thrown completely over board when he suddenly pressed my back against the closest wall and kissed me. The kiss almost took my breath away.

Here I was standing on the strip with my back against the wall of some club and making out with a complete stranger. And it felt so right.

"Duff", I whimpered against his lips in a needy tone. "We should probably keep going, huh?", he smirked a little out of breath himself. "Except you consider this somewhere more private", I said with a grin on my lips but felt how he led me on with his arm around my hips once again.

"Wouldn't mind", he shrugged and lit another cigarette: "But I wanna take my time with you."

I swallowed hard and accepted the cigarette he wanted to share with me.

The next five minutes of us walking passed mainly without much talking but then I found myself in his one-bedroom apartment.

Alone with him now I felt the nervousness set back in.

So this was how it's gonna be?

"You want somethin to drink or anything?", he asked from behind me and I shook my head. Soon I felt him against my back with his arms around my body and his lips on my neck and shoulder.

I suppressed the low moan that had wanted to escape my lips and simply leaned back against him.

He had soon gripped the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head. A shiver ran through me but his warm hands that travelled my body soothed me and quickly found the clasp of my bra and opened it.

He was still kissing my neck when he whispered: "Turn around to me." I obeyed immediately.

The sight of my bare breasts exposed before him made him fight to contain his arousal as he hardened in his boxers. He lowered his head and wrapped his lips around my nipple. He sucked gently and I failed to find something to hold onto.

It was weird to be almost naked in front of him while he was still fully dressed, at the same time it made me feel excited.

"Get on the bed, I got something to prove", the blond haired told me smirking and I nodded. I tried not to run to the bed and could barely believe how caught up in the moment I was. My entire mind was foggy!

I watched him take off his leather jacket before he walked over to me and moved my thighs apart so he could lay down between them.

I could feel him hard against my center through our clothes but before the nervousness consumed me he had his lips on mine again and consumed my senses instead.

His body was pressed against mine and he traced his fingers down my body. He stroked over my thighs and spread them even more before moving to my panties.

Through the fabric he pressed his hand against me and gently rubbed me. A soft moan left my lips and I stirred underneath him and spread my legs further. Duff smirked against my breats and took my nipple in his mouth again as he began to rub me through my panties. His fingers ran over my slit as heat began to pool and I whimpered.

"Duff", I moaned softly.

He pulled away from my titts and brought his lips to mine while his fingers rubbed at my clit.

My eyes were closed, and I was lost in the moment, but I managed to bring my hand to his head and tangled my fingers in his blond, long hair. My lips parted as another soft moan left them and Duff pushed his tongue inside my mouth, massaging my tongue with his own.

His fingers were moving in circles over my clit and I whimpered against his lips as my panties became more soaked with each move he made.

I moaned and writhed on the bed as his hand travelled beneath my panties. Both of us moaned as he ran his middle finger between my folds, feeling how wet I was.

I whined his name again and lifted my hips to meet his hand.

He pushed his erection against my thigh and instinctively I reached down and stroked him through his pants.

"God you’re so wet for me", he growled in in my ear.

I bit my lip and raised my hips when suddenly he pulled away from me.

He knelt on the bed and smirked at me before ripping my panties down my thighs and tossing them to the floor.

My heart felt like it was about to pump out of my fucking chest.

He moved between my legs and crashed his lips against mine.

His fingers made their way back to my core and he pushed his middle finger inside me with ease, making me gasp.

"You want me to fuck you?", he pulled his finger out teasingly slow.

I bit your lip and without thinking I nodded as he pushed his finger back in.

He added a second finger, stretching me slowly: "But not yet."

He pulled his fingers away and I whined at the emptiness. But before I could protest Duff spread my legs apart and laid between them.

He ran the flat of his tongue along my slit, making me gasp and clutch at the sheets.

His tongue ran over my clit in two slow strokes.

I quickly covered my mouth with my hand and let out a moan.

His tongue ran over my clit in slow circles and he reached his hands up to squeeze my breasts. When he sucked at my clit I let out another moan into my hand and Duff pulled away.

"Oh No, baby", he told me and moved my hand from my mouth: "I wanna hear you."

I bit my lip and watched as he went back to his slow licks and his eyes never left mine as he ran his tongue over me. I felt like I was burning.

I squeezed my eyes shut and reached down, wrapping my fingers in his blond hair and raised my hips to meet him. He pulled back, only slightly and ran his fingers over my slit. He let out a growl as he watched, pushing two fingers into your throbbing pussy.

"Duff", I gasped and already felt extremely full. "Don't panic", I told myself and threw all worries away when he began to pump his fingers in and out of me, slowly at first before he increased his speed.

"You like that, baby girl?"

I moaned in response and he stopped his movements. He sucked at my clit and the change in pleasure made me squirm.

I whined and lifted my hips to meet the strokes of his tongue.

He moaned against me and the vibrations sent pleasure soaring through my veins. He began pumping his fingers once more, curling them against my wall and rubbing against my gspot.

I writhed on the bed, clutching at the sheets because of the amount of pleasure.

"Fuck..."

"You gonna cum for me doll?", he growled against me.

I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip as my orgasm coursed through me. MY walls clenched around his skilled fingers and his tongue didn’t stop running over your clit, making my legs tremble.

When my orgasm started to slow down he got up and took his clothes off, throwing them anywhere. Before he sat back down between my thighs, I watched him put on a condom through barely open eyelids.

Without a warning and therefor without giving me the time to over think this he plunged his cock into me. I gasped at his size and raked my nails down his back.

The pain was sharp and unknown.

"God you feel so good baby."

He crashed his lips against mine, stifling my moan as he pulled out of me slowly.

"So tight." He pushed into me again. I was frowning and pushed my eyes closed as I was trying to adjust to him. Fuck, he felt so good at the same time this hurt so bad but in the best way possible.

I moaned and ran my hands over his back as he set a pace with deep and slow thrusts. He wanted me to feel every inch of him entering me and he lost himself in the little whimpers I made as he pushed into me. After a few more thrusts when the pain was starting to die down, he pulled out of me and knelt on the bed.

"Rollover", he ordered.

I bit my lip and obeyed, kneeling in front of him on all fours. Duff let out a breath as he looked at my ass.

I felt him run his cock over my center before he pushed into me once more.

"Duff...", I hissed.

His change of angle set a whole new sense of pleasure and he set a faster pace. It hurt but felt so good... His cock slammed into me and I collapsed against the mattress, falling onto my elbows, arching my back more in doing so.

He brought his hand down swiftly, slapping my ass and making me gasp.

Duff gripped my hips and I moaned between breaths as he picked up a fast and hard pace, slamming into me hard and fast. He leaned forward and pulled my hair into a ponytail, his thrusts never slowing down. With a gentle tug at my hair he pulled me back onto all fours and with his spare hand he reached under me.

His fingers found my clit and he rubbed clumsy circles. I bit my lip, trying to contain my moans and arched my back. He leant over me, his breath on my shoulder and hearing his staggered breathing sent me into overdrive. He released his grip in my hair only to wrap his hand around your throat gently and pull me back enough so he could turn my head around to kiss him. Just what I needed.

"You gonna cum for me?"

I attempted to nod, which proved difficult with his grip on my throat. He didn't wait for an answer though and rubbed his fingers over my clit faster.

"Cum for me, babygirl."

I lost all control, my eyes rolling back as the waves of pleasure rolled through me, sending shivers all over my skin. His pace was sloppy now and I knew he was almost ready as well. He slowly pulled away and turned on his back so I knelt down on wobbly legs. I removed the condom and licked along his throbbing cock and he let out a low moan. I took him as deep as I could and began to suck him off until he grasped his cock and pumped it a few times before coming in my mouth.

I swallowed his load and his deep moans send a few last chills through me.

Both of us collapsed against the sheets, a sheer layer of sweat covering my skin as I tried to catch my breath.

"Shit that was good", he exhaled and placed a lazy kiss on my shoulder. "Yes, it was", I thought and grinned to myself, trying to process what had happened.

[delu-jean]

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 (𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭)

Hello! As this event takes place, requests will be closed since juggling both will be a little tiring! 

-> Thanks: Thank you guys for 100 follows! I’m glad my writing is something others can enjoy, and I’ll keep on doing my best to both improve, and deliver. 

Event: 

-> Song-Fic/ Song Lyric Event: There are forty five prompts with different song lyrics! Some angst, and others fluff, but all revolve around romance~

->Each fic will revolve around the lyric specifically, or the entire song!

->Eg of fic with just the lyric (specifcially): I may use the lyric as a line you, or another character would say, it might pop up when needed, and etc. A fic example would be: “Before You Go” (Nanami Kento x fem!/reader). 

->Eg of fic with entire song: Basically a song-fic

->Eg of fic wihtout lyrics in it: I present the lyrical prompt at the beginning of the fic, and write w/o needing to use it as an actual line, or anything else. 

->Whichever is found fitting, will be used!! ^^

->Either way, the fic will be written about that lyrical prompt!! :))

Rules: (A must)

This event is one for (fem!xreader) x (<inserted male reader>) 

He needs to be a character from one of the five fandoms I write for! 

Jjk, Mha, Haikyuu, Aot, and Demon Slayer

If your guy isn’t on the list, by all means, request and I’ll tell you if I feel like I can write for him!! ^^

-> Link to the M.list <-

This is a non-nsfw event, and topics over 18+ aren’t allowed!! 

You can only request one character per prompt, unless, the prompt calls for two! (Even then, you can choose to only ask for one) 

My rules still apply for this event, if you would like specifics, please do ask, or look through the rules post! 

-> Rules <-

Key: 

Angst

Fluff 

You can request more than one character (max would be two) = ☆

Prompts: 

"What if I said I'm sorry, what if I made a scene? Wouldn't that make you mine again, you're all I'll ever need," -What If I Said I'm Sorry (Caliber)

"You won and she chose you, and she loved you, and she's gone…" -Its Over Isn't It? (DeeDee Magno Hall) ☆

"She's a she's a lady, and I am just a boy without a line," -Line without a hook (Ricky Montgomery) 

"Knew I was falling when I looked inside your eyes, and you said…'I know you are but what am I?" -What Am I? (Why don't we)

"I need a man who loves me like my Father loves my mom," -Like My father (Jax)

"You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline, you kiss away the pain of all the hell I’m in," -Medicine (James Arthur) 

"It's always one step forward, and three steps back. I'm the love of your life until I make you mad," -One step forward, and three steps back (Olivia Rodrigo) 

"Let's write our story, and let's sing our song. Let's hang our pictures on the wall," -Memories (Shawn Mendes) 

"Maybe you and I have history, but I don't think you know me. Have we met before?" -Have we met before (Eric Nam, Sarah Barrios) 

"Hey baby won't you look my way, I can be your new addiction~" -Everybody Talks (Neon Trees)

"She gets the flowers...right? The post made about her. A love that is perfect, a love I deserved, yeah. A love that I gave,” - She Gets the flowers (Betch MCcarthy) 

“I just heard you found the one you’ve been looking, that you’ve been looking for. I wish I would’ve known it wasn’t me,” -We Don’t Talk Anymore (Charlie Puth) 

“Even when we go through changes, even when we’re old. Remember that I told you I’d find my way back home,” -Way Back Home (SHUAN) 

“You say that it’s all just a blur, but I see you kissing her. No no, you gotta go, go, and I’ll be just fine without you,” -Goodbye Boy (Peg Parnivek)   

“You say that I'm too insecure, you want me to be someone else, but if I'm not the one you want...Just go ahead and walk right out the door,” -Who I am (NIve) 

“She’s In The Rain, you want to hurt yourself I’ll stay with you. You want to make yourself go through the pain. It’s better to be held than holding on,” -She’s In The Rain (The Rose) 

“If all it is is eight letters, why is it so hard to say? If all it is is eight letters then why am I in my own way?” -Eight Letters (Why Don’t We) 

“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angel. Love your imperfections every angle. Tomorrow comes and goes before you know...so i just had to let you know~” -Beautiful (Bazzi) 

“Congratulations, I heard you’re doing great...congratulations, how are you okay? I hate that you’re happy, I hope that you can’t sleep,” -Congratulations (Day 6) 

“I know I can treat you better than he can. And anyone like you deserves a gentleman,” -You Better (Shawn Mendes) ☆

“Congratulations, you’re finally leaving. Let’s throw a party here tonight, and toast to the end of you and I,” -Congratulations (Eric Nam) 

“Wise men say...only fools rush in. But I can’t help, falling in love...with...you,” -Fools Rush In (Elvis) 

“Don’t say you miss me, when you don’t call. Don’t say you’re hurting, without the scars. Don’t say you’re here tonight without tomorrow too. Don’t say you love me, unless you do,” -Don’t Say you Love Me (Fifth Harmony) 

“A lifetime of laughter at the expense, of the death of a bachelor,” -Death Of A Bachelor (Panic At The Disco)

“She told me that she loved me by the water fountain. She told me that she loved me and she didn’t love him. And that was really lovely cause it was innocent, but now she has a cup with something else in it…” -Water Fountain (Alec Benjamin) -> Oikawa x Reader ☆

“And I don’t need a reason to keep on dreaming. That we can with this stupid thing...called love,” -Lose (Nikki)

“Don’t take this personal, but personally, I think you should get with somebody like me. But worst of all...you don’t even see,” -Personal (The Vamps) 

“But you got a lot of great songs 'bout a lot of shit guys, you did more with 3 minutes than they'll do with their lives. And we'll buy ourselves houses with our heartbreak songs, screw everybody else who ever treated us wrong,” - Three Minutes (JP Saxe) ☆

“I’ve got all my money on you, got all my dollars on you. And I feel like a million bucks, a million bucks, and I give no f**ks when I’m with you,” -Million Bucks (Smallpools) 

“She put my name in yellow hearts. Her favourite colour like the stars. I didn’t listen very hard, when she told me she was crazy from the start,” -Yellow Hearts (Ant Saunders) 

“And I want you to cry, cry for me. Like I cried for you baby, cry for me,” -Cry For Me (Twice) 

“Please don’t let this love die young, please don’t let this love die young. If I’m going to lose someone, don’t let it be you,” -Love Die Young (Eric Nam) 

“Ain't never felt this way, can't get enough so stay with me. It's not like we got big plans. Let's drive around town holding hands,” -ILYSB (Lany)

“Maybe I don’t want to be just friends, see you only on the weekends. Sorry hope you understand, I like you a little too much for that,” -Just Friends (JORDY) 

“Golden eyes, if it ain’t you girl I don’t want to try. Baby, baby, baby you’re my diamond shine,” -Golden Eyes (Layto) 

“I like me better when I’m with you. I like me better when I’m with you. I knew from the first time, I stayed for a long time cause~ I like me better when I’m with you,” -I Like Me Better (Lauv) 

“Hey pretty Stranger, I think you look cute, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like you,” -Your Text (Sundial) 

“And They say, Chivalry is dead. So let a real man pick up the slack, and treat you with respect,” -Chivalry Is Dead (Trevor Wesely) 

“And I Know there’s no making this right, and I know there’s no changing your mind. But we both have each other tonight. So if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time, waste it on me,” -Waste On Me (BTS) 

“I hope he treats you better than I ever could. Cause you deserve the world times two and the perfect afternoons. For you to find who fills your heart even if I’m not the one you choose,” -Chicken Tendies (Clinton kane) ☆

“It’s bittersweet to think about the damage we do, cause I was going down but I was doing it with you. And I say that I hate you with a smile on my face,” -Favourite Crime (Olivia Rodrigo) 

“Find me, in another place in time. If only, if only you were mine. But I’m already someone else’s baby,” -Baby (Clean Bandit) 

“And I might never stop your sorrow, fix you up good as new. But that don’t mean that I can’t hold your hand in mine,” -Someone You Like (Girl And The Dream Catcher) 

“Cause when you said jump I said ‘how high?’ But when I jumped you said ‘goodbye,’ “ -Walked Through Hell (Anson Seabra) 

“I want to love me, the way that you love me. Oh, from all of my pretty, and all of my ugly too, I love it when I see me from your point of view,” POV (Ariana Grande) -> Giyuu x Reader

Have fun :)

[cali-holland]

Forever and Ever, Ch 4: Fit for a Princess

Tom Holland X Osterfield!Reader, Wedding Series

While Tom’s away filming, you take a day to go wedding dress shopping, but you don’t expect Harrison to insist upon coming with you.

Warnings: probably swearing and some sexual themes but that’s it

Word Count: 3200

Series Masterlist

Masterlist   Tom Holland Masterlist

“You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me”

Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion

A/N: this part doesn’t feature tom as much, but don’t worry he’ll be there in the next chapter!!

~~~

In the weeks following the engagement party, you spent a majority of your free time on the phone to Tom, given that he had a break between filming. When you weren’t talking to your fiance (as you so loved calling him that now), you were knee deep in wedding planning with your mum and Nikki. You were incredibly grateful for the both of them, happy that they were so willing to help and give you advice. No official plans were made, not without Tom there (well you did have an official date with the chosen venue reserved now) but just listing all the things you’d need to do was a lot.

“I was thinking we could visit a florist to get some ideas for bouquets and centerpieces.” You said casually to Tom, who was currently on speaker phone, while you folded laundry, setting aside the clothes you wanted to pack to go see him. In just two days, you’d be reunited, and, even if it was just a short trip, you couldn’t be more excited about it.

“I’ll have a couple days off when you’re here so that’ll work.” He replied. Laughing, he asked, “When do we get to the cake part of wedding planning?”

“Probably when you come back home. Floral arrangements are pretty consistent from florist to florist, cakes not so much.” You teased. “Speaking of flowers, I have yet to receive my monthly bouquet.”

You heard him chuckle on the other end of the line, “Give them some time, they’ll be there shortly.”

“They’re coming today?” You questioned, placing a few shirts in your suitcase.

“Yep.”

“You know I’m going to be gone most of the day, right?” You asked, and there was a pause on his end.

“What are you doing today?” He sounded bewildered at the thought of you doing something on a Saturday, as if it was surprising for you to have plans without him.

“Dress shopping.” You laughed.

“Oh,” He paused before realization struck, “Oh, dress shopping as in-“

“Yeah, wedding dress shopping.” You smiled to yourself, thinking of all the endless wedding dress possibilities. You had heard about the feeling of the perfect wedding dress, the one that makes you feel and look like a princess, and you couldn’t wait to experience that clarity. Subconsciously, you began to trace over the engagement ring on your finger in nervous excitement.

“So I guess I can’t ask for pictures of it?” Tom asked, chuckling a little.

You looked over at the clock, your heart dropping as you realized you needed to get ready to leave for your dress shopping appointment. You let out a small sigh, “I should get going.”

“I should too.” He said quietly, “My break was supposed to be over five minutes ago.”

“Tom, you told me you were fine on time!” You exclaimed, worried that he was getting himself in trouble just to talk to you. It wouldn’t be the first time he got told off for it.

“I am fine.” He reassured you. “Now, go find yourself a dress. You’re going to take my breath away, no matter what dress you wear.”

“Go back to set, you cheeseball.” You teased, “I love you, Tom.”

“I love you, too, Y/N.” Tom replied. You heard him make a kissing noise through the phone before the call ended.

With a small sigh, you made your way downstairs, knowing it was already time to go meet your mum, Charlotte, and Nikki at the dress store.

“These came for you.” Harrison called out to you from the kitchen as soon as he heard you come down the stairs.

Smiling, you made your way into the kitchen. Your heart soared as you saw the massive bouquet of red roses with white roses in the middle, forming a white heart, by far the biggest bouquet you’d ever seen in your life. You reached for the card, wanting to read the sweet message Tom had included.

‘Roses aren’t always red, violets technically aren’t blue, I miss you so much darling, I can’t wait to marry you ❤️’

“How cheesy is it this time?” Harrison asked you teasingly.

“It’s not cheesy, it’s romantic.” You argued, grabbing out a couple of vases because there was no way the bouquet could fit in just one.

“How long has he been sending you bouquets like that? It’s got to be over a year.” Your brother inquired as he helped you put them in the vases with some water.

“I think around eighteen months? He started with our two year anniversary.” You beamed.

“Three years later and you’ve still got him wrapped around your finger.” He chuckled.

“Yep, this finger.” You joked, showing off your left ring finger, adorned with the brilliant diamond.

“Mum says you’re going dress shopping today.” He started, and you hummed in agreement. “Can I go?”

“You want to go dress shopping with me?” You asked Harrison in confusion. Out of all the wedding planning that he had helped with so far, you never expected to hear him offer to spend hours with you staring at elegant white dresses.

“Yeah.” He replied with a nod.

“It’s going to be long.” You stated, giving him a way out, but making your way to the front door with him nonetheless, “And very boring. Like venue picking, but worse.”

“You’re really selling the ‘say yes to the dress’ thing.” Harrison chuckled, slipping on his shoes as his way of saying that he was definitely going and nothing you said would change his mind. You knew it was bad luck for the groom to see the wedding dress beforehand, but you didn’t know any superstitions about the brother of the bride seeing the dress; it simply never occurred to you that he’d be so invested in it.

“You’re not just coming to spy on the dress and tell Tom about it, are you?” You questioned as you tugged your shoes on.

“What? No. It’s bad luck.” He shook his head, and you believed him.

After stopping for some coffee, you and Harrison met up with your mum, Charlotte, and Nikki at the first dress shop. Hundreds of dresses lined their elegant white walls and you were questioned by the employees about the various aspects of wedding dresses- neckline, shape, sleeve length, material, shades of white, and even veils. Once you had said “I don’t know” for what was probably the seventh time, they finally let you and your party wander the store in search of dresses for you to try on. It wasn’t long before you were put in a dressing room with five different dresses to try on, each of varying styles.

“Which dress is this?” Nikki called out to you from her spot with the others on the plush cushions, waiting for you to emerge in your fourth dress.

“The one Charlotte picked out.” You answered. Pulling back the curtain, you stepped out in the satin mermaid gown with an unsure look on your face. “I like it, but I don’t think it’s-”

“It’s not the one.” Charlotte cut you off, her nose twisted up in disapproval, “No offense, it doesn’t fit you right.”

“None taken.” You laughed at your sister’s bluntness, returning to the dressing room to switch into another dress.

After another four dresses, you were starting to get a tired headache from the constant white materials getting thrown at you, even some off-white and cream materials. Stripped back down to your undergarments, you were ready to call this store quits and move on to another one.

“Can I be done yet?” You asked with a sigh. When you heard no reply from your family and Nikki, you poked your head out from the side of the curtain to see only Harrison standing there, his head tucked down with his eyes glued to his phone. You grabbed your shoe and threw it over at him, knocking him backwards into the stack of dresses.

“Hey! Watch it!” He exclaimed. Picking up your shoe, he said, “I was looking at places to go for lunch, and they’re out there searching for more dresses. I think Charlotte found a bridesmaid dress she likes.”

You didn’t really pay any mind to his reply as your eyes caught on one of the dresses behind him. “Hey Haz, grab me that dress. The poofy tulle one.”

“You know, when you said this was boring, you weren’t kidding.” Harrison teased, but grabbed the dress from the hanger anyway. He handed it to you, and he also gave you your shoe back as well. You closed the curtain on him and began to change into the new dress. “What about Mediterranean for lunch?”

You froze once you had the dress on all the way. It was a white tulle ball gown with delicate flowers all around the bodice and the gown. The flowers were white with light pink hues, almost the perfect pink hue that you and Tom had decided on for the color scheme.

“Y/N?” Harrison asked when you still didn’t respond.

Pulling the curtain open, you smiled at him nervously, “I think this is the one.”

Harrison’s eyes softened as he took in the dress. An awestruck smile overcame him, and he nodded, “You look like a princess.”

“Really?” Your voice was only just above a whisper. Your heart raced as you looked in the large mirror circling the far side of the room. Doing a little twirl, you felt his words sink in; you really looked and felt like a princess. You turned back to him, “Haz, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

You took a deep breath, trying to control your nerves as everything suddenly started to feel more real. “I know you’re the best man and you’ve done so much for me and Tom already, but will you give me away?”

There was a comfortable silence that fell between you two as you looked at him with hopeful eyes. You watched as his icy blue eyes glossed over with tears, and he let go of your hands to pull you in for a tight hug. Quietly, he mumbled, “Of course.”

You held onto your twin brother tightly, fighting back the tears that pricked your eyes. You wouldn’t be where you are today without him; you would’ve never met Tom, if it wasn’t for him. Harrison was always there for you, and you couldn’t think of anyone else to be your biggest support on your wedding day.

“Did we miss something?” Your mother asked, coming back into the room with Charlotte and Nikki. Charlotte was holding onto a soft pink dress with flowers along the hemline. You and Harrison pulled away from each other, and he quickly rubbed his eyes.

“Are you crying?” Charlotte questioned him teasingly.

“No.” He muttered.

“This is the dress.” You smiled, fluffing the skirt a little. Instantaneously, your mother, Charlotte, and Nikki all surrounded you, feeling the dress’s tulle material in awe, complimenting you on how well it fit.

As he stepped back to watch you finalize the wedding dress details, Harrison felt an inexplicable feeling of astonishment overcome him. From all of the wedding planning going around recently, it all felt surreal, but now watching you smile, talking to your mother in a classically gorgeous white dress, he couldn’t hide his happiness. His twin sister is marrying his best friend- that’s nothing he would have expected up until three years ago.

In fact, he can recall the exact moment he realized that you and Tom were simply just meant to be.

It was a Friday in late January 2017, and Harrison was out, having a few drinks with his modeling friends, if he could even call them that. They were all good people, they were funny, but they just weren’t really his kind of people. They were acquaintances at best. He’d much rather be spending his Friday night with the boys, but Harry was out of town with Sam, Tom was on a date, and he didn’t even think to ask what you were up to that evening. Tom hadn’t explicitly said he was on a date, but Harrison could tell; it wasn’t a normal thing for Tom to set up reservations at a restaurant or to buy himself a nice button up.

Harrison drummed his fingers on the table, trying to come up with an excuse to leave the bar. It was far too early in the night for him to say he was tired, and he knew it’d be wrong to come up with some dramatic family emergency lie. Suddenly, a vibrant red dress caught his eye from the corner of the room. His eyes went wide as he took in the sight before him.

Across the room, you and Tom sat in a small corner booth- you, in a red dress that Harrison had never seen before, and Tom in his new, very nice blue shirt. Harrison blinked a few times just to make sure he was seeing things correctly. He thought that maybe you two just happened to run into each other, both of you dressed like you were going on a date, but then he saw you laugh, leaning into Tom. 

The table of models burst into obnoxious laughter, bringing Harrison away from his stunned stare. He took a couple more sips of his drink, trying to decide if he continues to suffer through this night or if he just goes and crashes with you and Tom. He couldn’t stop himself before he stood up from his table, grabbed his beer, and, without another word, walked over to you and Tom.

“Haz, what are you doing here?” You asked, all contact with Tom suddenly lost as you two moved apart. Self consciously, you adjusted the low neckline of your dress, and Harrison took a seat besides Tom.

Harrison nodded back to the group of friends that he just abandoned, “They’re boring. What are you two up to?” Acting oblivious to the truth, he drank the rest of his beer with raised eyebrows at you two.

“N-nothing.” Tom said, and you coughed a little. Tom looked at you, his eyes trying to silent ask if he was supposed to tell Harrison what was going on.

“Yeah, nothing. Just sharing some drinks.” You added.

“Ah, okay.” Harrison nodded. He thought about calling you two out for a moment, before deciding against it, “Y/N, is that a new dress? I’ve never seen it before. Did you get it when shopping with Charlotte yesterday?”

“What? No.” You defensively shook your head, but you were a terrible liar when put on the spot like that and both boys could clearly tell.

“And Tom, didn’t you have a date tonight? Or did you just feel like getting a fancy new button up?” He asked. Tom gulped beside you nervously and Harrison looked over at you with his classic shit eating grin, “What’s that look for? I’m just trying to figure out how long you two will sit there and act like you’re not clearly on a date.” At his last word, his eyes shifted over to Tom, narrowing intimidatingly.

Bubbling with embarrassed anger, you kicked your brother underneath the table. You didn’t care if anyone else heard you in the bar, shouting, “Harrison James, you’re the worst!”

“How’d you know?” Tom asked, trying his best to hide his new found fear of Harrison. After all, he had never actually cleared dating you with Harrison since this was your very first date and both of you agreed to keep it secret, just wanting to see how it goes for now.

But the secret was out now.

“This is the best either of you have looked in months.” Harrison just about scoffed, laughing at his friend’s astonishment.

“So you saw that we were on a date and thought ‘gee, I better go interrupt’?” You questioned, bitterness clear in your tone.

“Yeah, and I also truly wanted to escape that lot.” He laughed, “This is much more amusing. How long has this been going on?”

The grin slowly faded from his face as you and Tom both sat there quietly, both of you avoiding looking at each other awkwardly. The lack of response was enough to make him let out an uncomfortable breath.

“You know what?” Harrison stood up from the table, guilt starting to creep in, “Let’s just forget the past ten minutes. I’ll get back to my friends, you two get back to your date.”

You couldn’t get out another word before he left back to his friends. Needless to say, you and Tom had a good rest of the night. Harrison would glance at you two every so often, and he felt his heart soar with happiness as he saw how absolutely content you two were with each other. He knew then that there was only one guy he’d ever let date, and perhaps eventually marry, his sister, and that guy was Tom.

When Tom arrived home after dropping you off, he found himself scared over the talk he’d no doubtedly have to have with Harrison. Ever so awkwardly, Tom tried to ask his friend about if it was okay to date you, but Harrison just shrugged it off.

“It’s okay. Really, mate.” Harrison insisted, wanting to just go to bed and not suffer any longer from this painfully awkward talk.

“Are you sure?” Tom double checked and his friend let out a sigh.

“Yes.” He let out a small sigh. “Look, just, if way down the road, you want to marry her, you better ask me for permission first.”

Tom let out a small laugh. Nodding his head, he replied, “Got it.”

Harrison had meant it jokingly in that moment, but he knew one day he’d be asked that question, and he couldn’t be any happier for you two when Tom finally asked.

As the dress talk continued with measuring tapes and pins suddenly appearing, Harrison busied himself by wandering around the store. It was empty, save for a few employees, but he assumed that was the perk of a celebrity engagement- you could get the store to yourself for a few hours. He found himself in the veil section. He didn’t know there were this many types of veils- all sorted by length and then by cut and then by their accents, but he knew you needed one. With all the focus on the wedding dress, he hadn’t heard anyone speak about the veil.

“Harrison, where’d you go?” Charlotte called out to him from the opposite side of the store. Just as he was going to respond, one veil in particular caught his eye.

The veil was simple, yet long and elegant with a lace trim similar to that of the dress that you had chosen just moments before. And at the top of the veil was a thin band of diamonds, resembling a tiara in a way. Grabbing the veil, Harrison headed back to you and the others.

“Here, try this.” Harrison offered, coming up behind you. You watched him through the mirrors on the wall across from you as he put the tiara in your hair. With the way the veil seemed to flow into your dress, leaving just enough of a train, you knew it was perfect.

Smiling, you took your brother’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly, “Thank you.”

“What can I say? A princess needs her tiara.”

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex @theamazingtomholland @Hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart @joyleenl @t-o-m-hollands @lonikje @sleepybesson @sunkisseddreamer @hollandsamor @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @gorrillaglue23 @petersoftboyparker @musicalkeys @duskholland @biebsmylife95 @dummiesshort @perspectiveparker @miraclesoflove

Tom Holland Tag List: @quaksonhehe @tomkindholland

Series Tag List: @thefallenbibliophilequote @wassup-peoples @thevelvetseries @greatpizzascissorstaco @tomhollandsotherpinkytoe @asonofpeter @fallinfortom @millennial-teenybopper @rebekkah4766​

[farfromharry]

always (part four) | harry holland series

summary: Baby shopping with Nikki and Harry, then eventually revealing your baby’s gender to the Holland family + Harrison

word count - 2.1k

warnings - language

As the months passed, rather too quickly for your liking, Nikki was completely set on taking you baby shopping. Practically dragging you out with her, and unfortunately for him, making Harry come to.

You were currently browsing through some baby clothes with Nikki, your hand on your 6 month bump. Harry was god knows where, having separated from you two a while ago, saying something about finding baby clothes with good taste.

“What about that one?” She motioned towards a simple dark blue onesie and with a simple nod of your head it was in your basket.

“Y/n!” Harry whisper yelled. You looked around until you saw him, meeting his eyes from a distance with a confused expression. “look how cute this is.” He pointed to a little onesie that looked like a duck, an eye roll coming from you.

“Put it back Harry.” You giggled, watching the boy pout adorably.

“But-“

“No.” You shook your head, the boy shuffling over to you sadly. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms going around you to sprawl his hands on your growing belly. Harry was obsessed with your belly, and luckily for him, he was one of the only people you felt comfortable letting touch your bump. He would often hold your belly or talk to it, or rub your back for you if it was hurting. His actions only made you fall deeper in love with him, something that scared you, but something that was also quite amazing to you.

Harry continued to goof around, intent on buying practically all the teddy bears he could find.

“Harry, stop.” You laughed, taking another silly onesie out of your basket and putting it back.

“Listen, i was promised food if i came and-“ You giggled.

“You’ll get food, just, after we’re done.” He huffed, turning to his mum to pester her like a child.

“If i let you get the duck onesie, will you stop?” He nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips.

“fine, go get it.” He almost squealed, rushing back down the aisles to grab it. He came back and you couldn’t help giggling at Nikki’s unimpressed face, snatching the onesie off of him to place in the basket and move on.

“You’re an idiot, Harry.” He gasped, feigning offense at your words.

“Harry junior would never treat me like this.” You rolled your eyes as he knelt down and hugged your belly.

“Harry junior?” He nodded, confidently.

“Not a chance.” You laughed, pushing his head away from you playfully.

“Come on kids.” Nikki mumbled in her motherly voice, trying to motion for you two to stop messing around.

“I’m hungry.” Harry whined again, probably for the hundredth time.

Nikki eventually grew sick of his whining, asking if you had everything you needed. You paid for your items and then decided your next stop was going to be to get Harry some food. He practically cheered at the news, acting like a child on christmas.

“You’re so weird.” He rolled his eyes, turning this back on you.

“Don’t even try and tell me baby’s not excited to eat.” He pointed to your belly accusingly, a sheepish smile covering your face.

“Hey, I'm feeding 2 people, what’s your excuse?” Nikki laughed at your childish bickering, shaking her head at you both. She couldn’t help but notice the soulmate connection between you again, just wondering when the news was finally going to come out.

After grabbing some food, Nikki dropped you off back home, getting Harry to help you take the bags of baby things inside.

“I’ll see you soon.” He gave you a quick but firm hug, kissing your head and waving goodbye. You waved as the two drove away, going inside and deciding on unpacking the things to start and put away.

The nursery currently wasn’t done, you had a few boxes with stuffed toys and things in and some with baby clothes in, just until you could guilt trip your best friend into helping you set everything up.

You moved to stand in front of the mirror you had sitting in the corner of the almost empty room. You cupped your growing belly and turned to the side, grinning slightly.

“I can’t wait to meet you.” You spoke quietly. “You’re g’na be so loved, so spoiled by the Holland boys.” You giggled. You jolted lightly when you felt a slight kick near where your hand lay.

“Can you hear me, hear mummy talking to you?” You gushed, eyes beginning to water.

You’d heard from the nurse that it was a good idea to try talking to the baby, just to try and create that bond early on.

After getting that reaction from them, you ended up making sure to make time at least once a day until the end of your pregnancy, to just say hello.

“Hello, baby.”

———

A few days after baby shopping with Nikki, you were practically begging all your close friends to stop with the baby gifts, reassuring them you had enough toys and clothes to last them a lifetime. Admittedly Tom and Sam had been the worst of the holland’s for it, so far at least, shocking you that it wasn’t Harry. Tom bombarded you with spiderman themed items, which was expected by you all.

So when Harry showed up in your flat, announcing he’d bought something else for your little bub, you couldn’t help rolling your eyes.

“Okay so, i know you said no more baby things but, i couldn’t help myself.” You groaned, throwing your head back as Harry made himself known in your flat. He found you sitting on a kitchen chair at the island, eating random pregnancy cravings you had, of which he found utterly disgusting.

“What did you do?” He pulled out a small bag from behind his back, placing it on the counter and pulling out a small stuffed bear that replicated a tiny captain america, shield and all.

“Harry-“

“I know what you said, but I saw it and I know he’s your favourite.” He pouted, handing you the bear with a small smile. You grinned against your will, pulling him into a hug as a thank you.

“But this is the last one okay, no more baby things.” He nodded, giving you his pinky to promise. Harry watched as your body suddenly jumped, hand shifting to your belly with an excited smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come here.” You summoned him over, placing his hand on your stomach where you’d just felt your bub move.

“What am i-“ His sentence was cut short when he felt a weak kick against his palm, his eyes shooting to yours with tears brimming on his waterline.

“Was that-“

“She’s kicking.” Harry grinned, the news flying right over his head. it took a few minutes to register until his eyes finally snapped to yours.

“wait, she?” You nodded, tears now slipping down your cheeks.

“Found out this morning.” You explained.

“you’re having a little girl.” He was in awe. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“congrats y/n.” You and Harry talked for a while, mainly about baby name ideas. He recommended some names he thought were pretty, your heart warming at how involved he wanted to be with your little girl.

“what about-“ He began, before you cut him off.

“Harry, you’ve said so many names I've already forgotten the first ones.” He smiled sheepishly, apologising for overwhelming you.

“s’okay, but we’ve got plenty of time to decide, don’t worry.” He nodded. “but, i do need you to help me set up the nursery.” you smiled.

“is this weekend okay?” You nodded.

“I can set up some furniture but I need help paint-“ He stopped you mid sentence.

“You aren’t doing anything, I'll get tom and sam to help, you just rest your pretty little self.” you rolled your eyes as your cheeks flushed a light pink shade, trying to brush off Harry’s sneaky compliment like it was nothing.

“We’ll get her room looking fit for a little princess.”

“A spoiled little princess.” Harry rolled his eyes sassily.

“Obviously, she now has 4 uncles that will always be ready to spoil her.” He argued.

“Yeah, yeah.” You laughed.

“Have you told anyone else?” You shook your head no, Harry’s eyes lighting up with a cheeky smirk.

“So I found out first?” You shushed him, pushing his shoulder. “I’m honoured, especially to know I'm your favourite.”

“I’ve told you before, Paddy’s my favourite.” He grumbled something under his breath about his brother that you didn’t hear, claiming it was nothing when you threatened to snitch on him.

“That’s what i thought, big man.” Harry’s face suddenly lit up, telling you he had an idea for something.

“Can we surprise the others with the gender?” He looked like a puppy, your heart melting. You couldn’t say no to him like that, so you nodded, Harry getting straight to how each one could go.

———

You spent the next few days surprising the Holland family with the announcement of your babygirl, trying to do it discreetly. Starting with Nikki and Dom first.

“So, I have some news, but in order to break it to you-“ You motioned to Harry who was holding a box with two donuts. They were coated in pink icing, one having the words ‘it’s a’ written on in red, while the other had ‘girl.’

They took them with a thank you, Harry placing his hand on your shoulder as a good luck wish.

Your heart sank when Dom took a bite of the donut without reading it, fearing your plan had failed.

“What’s your news, y/n?” Nikki asked, smiling up at you.

“I was going to say read the donuts, but that might not work anymore.” She glanced down and read hers.

“It’s a?” You nodded. Her eyes widened when she realised what you meant. “The baby's gender?” You nodded again.

“What does yours say?” She asked her husband, quite frantically. Seeing as he’d already eaten most of his, it wasn’t very noticeable what the word had been. However, after seeing a still intact ‘G’, she was able to decipher it.

“You’re having a girl?” She asked, tearfully.

“I’m having a girl.” You confirmed, letting her pull you into a hug. She said a ‘congratulations’ into your ear, kissing your head temple as she pulled away.

“I’m so happy for you.”

You hoped that Sam and Paddy hadn’t already heard the news from downstairs. Going up to Sam’s room, Harry asking Paddy to come and join you all.

“I have an announcement about baby.” Both sets of eyes were now on you, focused and listening.

“So boys.” you started. “You might need to put these on actually.”

You pulled 2 baby sized shirts from behind your back, handing them over with a giggle. Sam read his first, his eyes widening upon seeing ‘favourite niece.’

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. Paddy still hadn’t got what was going on, reading over the words ‘prettiest princess.’

“C-can someone explain?” Harry chuckled at his younger brother and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

“She’s having a girl, Pads.” Harry explained, realisation and a wave of emotions hitting him square in the face.

“We’re so proud of you.” Sam held onto you tightly, flashing his twin a sneaky look over his shoulder.

“Thank you.” You pulled back and hugged Paddy, the boy congratulating you and assuring you that they’d be spoiling her as soon as they could.

Tom and Harrison were next after finding them both in the house.

You wanted to give Tom the most difficult task, blowing up a balloon that told you ‘it’s a girl.’

“I need you to blow this up.” You handed him the packet with the balloon inside, a groan coming from him. He begrudgingly started to blow up the balloon, his face becoming red as he slowly became out of breath.

“Holy shit!” Harrison shouted, seeing the writing on the side, even before it was fully intact.

Tom looked at it and jumped up from the couch.

“I knew it!” Tom announced, a wide grin on his face as he hugged you tightly, he swayed you both slowly, his excitement getting the best of him.

“I can’t wait to be her favourite.” You rolled your eyes, letting Harry and Tom start that debate while getting a hug from Harrison.

“Congrats y/n.”

“Thank you, Haz.”

You spent the rest of the day by Harry’s side, the two of you fantasizing about what your baby girl’s going to be like, and you thought it was perfect.

harry holland + always taglist - @euphorichxlland @theliterarymess @drie-the-derp @sunkisseddreamer @call-me-baby-gir1 @fallinfortom @hollandbroz-n-haz @hopelessly-harry @iwearheadphones @kerrswriting @thevelvetseries @minejungwoo @givebuckyhisplumsnow @itstaskeen

[tommynikkivincemick]

three way call — part 3

Summary: Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx find themselves in the frustrating predicament of being infatuated with the same woman. This calls for a competition.

Author’s note: Y/N is a whole mess in this part, so sorry in advance. She gets a little too cozy with both of the boys. Lotta angst in this chapter, lotta fluff, lotta alcohol.

Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption, no smut but sensual moments, messy drama.

Y/N leaned her head back and closed her eyes momentarily as the Twins bickered about something in the kitchen— they always acted like an old married couple, but something had been going on between them as of late that she just couldn’t figure out. It was obviously important, seeing as they nearly killed each other over it, and it seemed to be top secret because for the first time in a long time, they lied to her. She knew damn well that they weren’t being extra sweet to her out of the goodness of their hearts (though she did like it and would prefer if the affection didn’t stop) and she knew that they didn’t get in that big of a fight just because Tommy was talking shit; Tommy was always talking shit and if that’s all it took to get the living hell beat out of him, he would have been dead by now. But she knew they wouldn’t tell her— after all, you couldn’t make the Twins do anything they didn’t want to do.

“Man, what the hell has been going on around here? Is there something in the water? You guys have been acting so weird lately,” Y/N thought out loud.

“What ever do you mean?” Mick asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Tommy and Nikki constantly fighting, you and Vince being extra quiet around me; and that’s a feat because Vince never shuts up. You guys are just being... weird,” She shrugged.

“Oh, kid, if only you knew,” The guitarist chuckled, shaking his head.

“If she knew, she’d kill them for having this big plan and kill us for keeping their secret!” Vince laughed.

Y/N was floored. Since when did the guys keep secrets from her? Was she spinning off into an alternate dimension?

“What plan? What secret? Y’all are killing me!” She cried, pleading for answers.

“Can’t tell you; bros before hoes. If we told you, I’m more scared of what Sixx and Tom would do to us than what you’d do to us,” Vince said, hiding this big secret behind a wide grin.

“But she might be flattered— we haven’t considered that,” Mick commented.

She couldn’t stand this anymore. She couldn’t take the rhythm section fighting like cats and dogs and she couldn’t take the rest of the band talking in circles. Around her, anyway, Tommy acted the most normal, so she figured she’d just spend some time with him until the dust settled in the apartment.

“Tommy!” She yelled into the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“Mama needs a drink. Let’s go,” she invited, putting on her shoes and grabbing her purse.

Tommy followed, grabbing his wallet and closing the door behind them with a wink to the other men. He followed her to her car and got in the passenger seat, moving it back and reclining it to accommodate his long legs. He loved this car— it was a perfect 1966 Ford Mustang, black with white leather seats. He loved even more the woman who drove it, especially right now in the summer sun, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on her chest from the heat and the lack of air conditioning in the apartment and the hot air currently blowing from the vents in the car. He loved her tight daisy duke shorts and her red tube top and matching mule heels; he loved her big feathered hair that made it look like she was still stuck in the 70s and her glossy red lips and big curves of winged eyeliner. She was the most beautiful girl in the world.

“So what’s the problem, babe? You look stressed,” Tommy asked as she reversed out of her parking spot.

“You guys are just... ugh. I’m tired of the fighting and being sneaky. Mick and Vin keep talking in circles around me and Nikki’s being really sweet— which is nice, it’s just a little weird for him. You’re the only one acting normal with me but around Nikki you two have been fighting constantly for the past couple of days. What the fuck is going on with you guys?” Y/N ranted.

“It’s complicated. Guy stuff. Nothing we would wanna burden you with,” Tommy answered shortly.

It broke the drummer’s heart to have to keep secrets from her; he trusted her with his life and liked to think she thought the same. But in his mind, this competition was necessary to prove that she loved him more than Nikki. He was tired of seeing the bassist’s hungry eyes whenever he looked at her in one of her form fitting outfits like she had on today; and of seeing him slip his hand in her back pocket whenever she leaned against him at a party; and of him having her sit on his lap. She did those things with Tommy, too, but he wished it was only him. After a while of being lost in thought, she pulled the car up to the Rainbow, grabbed her bag, and got out of the car. He followed suit and held open the door of the building for her and took a seat next to her at the bar. She ordered a drink comprised mostly of vodka and he ordered just a beer for himself. It took a few hours and many drinks later for Y/N to be leaning against Tommy, spilling her soul on the bar.

“I just— I love you ‘n Nikki so much, y’know? Y’all are my favorite people, you’re both so han’some and s’ sweet ‘n funny... I’d fuckin’ wife both y’all up, put a ring on it,” She slurred, “Where’s a phone? I wanna call Nikki ‘n tell him to come to the bar. Need both of my bitches here.”

Tommy laughed and helped peel her off of the seat of the booth they had moved to and carry her to the phone booth.

“Tommy... Tommy, dial Nikki’s number, I can’t read right now.”

Tommy smirked and dialed the number, handing her the phone.

“Mötley residence, Vince speaking,” The singer greeted.

“Gimme Nikki!” She yelled into the receiver.

“Fuck, okay. How many drinks have you had?” She could bear the smirk in Vince’s voice.

“Vince. Nikki. Now,” She demanded.

“Alright, alright,” Vince laughed and yelled into the apartment, “NIKKI! PHONE!”

“WHO IS IT?” Nikki yelled back, his voice muted in the background.

“Y/N! SHE SOUNDS HAMMERED, SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!”

“FINE!” In a few moments, Nikki was handed the phone, “Mötley residence, Nikki speaking.”

“Nikki, my love!” Y/N slurred excitedly.

Tommy pretended it didn’t feel like a knife to the chest to hear her call him her love.

“Yes, beautiful, what’cha need?” Nikki chuckled, smiling at the term of endearment.

“I need youuuuu—” She drawled, “— to get your ass over to the Rainbow! I want both my bitches!”

“Who’s the other bitch?”

“Tommy, obviously. The loves of my life!” She grinned, leaning against the younger Twin with most of her weight, “Tom-Tom, talk to Sixx, tell him to come over.”

Tommy took the phone and grunted as he shifted both his and her weight.

“Hey, Sixx,” He greeted.

“How’s the kid doing? Aren’t you taking care of her?” Nikki smirked.

“She’s trashed, but she tries to fight me every time I try to tell her no more. Besides that, she’s in a real loved up mood, wants both of us here. I think we’re gonna get a VIP room, we’re tired of being around the general public, so just grab a bottle and meet us back there when you get here,” Tommy explained to the best of his ability, himself slurring just a little bit, “You got some catching up to do, dude.”

Nikki rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be there in a minute, don’t get in too much trouble without me,” The bassist said, “Later T-Bone.”

“Later, Sixx.”

“BYE, NIKKI! I’LL SEE YOU IN A MINUTE!” Y/N yelled into the phone before Tommy hung it up.

“Alright, hot mess, come on, steady as she goes,” Tommy instructed, trying to guide her to a VIP room.

“Carry me. Don’t wanna walk no more,” She groaned.

“Fine, but you ain’t gonna like it,” Tommy shrugged and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

She groaned like she was sea sick, hooking her fingers through his belt loops for stability. He patted her ass, which was currently bent over his shoulder.

“You’re lucky you’re so pretty,” He sighed before letting her down onto the sofa in the VIP room, “I’m gonna go get us a couple of bottles, what do you want besides water?”

“Mmm... Rum. And I don’t need water, I’m not a little bitch,” She slurred, laying down on the sofa.

“I’m not letting you drink anymore until you get down a couple glasses of water. I’ll be back, you sit tight,” He said, turning to make a trip to the bar.

“Wait! Come here,” She drawled, drawing him near with a ‘come hither’ motion of her finger.

He did and knelt beside her. She took his face in her hands and pulled him closer, kissing him slowly and deeply. His eyes went wide before closing— he was officially ahead of Nikki in the game, and god she was a good kisser, even when she was wasted. She tasted like hard liquor, which he didn’t mind, and the strawberry lip gloss she layered on top of her lipstick. Heavenly.

“Now hurry back, ‘kay?” She grinned dumbly up at him.

He gulped and nodded, hurrying out of the room; the faster he got their drinks, the faster he could return to her. Y/N heard him exchange greetings with another man outside of the room before the door opened again to reveal Tommy’s partner in crime, Nikki.

“Nikki!” She squealed happily, “Come here, I missed you!”

He smiled and joined her on the sofa. It took her a minute, but eventually she pulled herself into his lap and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Mmm, I love you Nikki, so much,” She hummed, pressing soft kisses to his exposed neck, “You and Tommy, my favorite boys, y’all would definitely be my sister wives if it was legal in the state of California.”

“Well, you and Tommy both ought to know how I feel about sharing,” He said lowly, sliding a hand into her back pocket like he always did.

“But I love you both so much!” She pouted, “You’re both so... so good to me, y’know?”

“We both love you, too, sweetheart. But I’m sad to say you can’t have both,” He sighed.

“Not even on my birthday?“ She asked, her soft kisses moving closer to his mouth.

“Maybe on your birthday,” He chuckled, tilting his head to look her in the eyes, “But you want more than that, don’t you?”

She nodded and glanced between his eyes and lips as her breathing grew shallow. He rested a hand on the back of her neck, somewhat as a caring action and somewhat as a show of dominance. He observed her leaning into his touch and her eyes fluttering closed and her lips parting. Fuck it, thought Nikki, and took the plunge, kissing her deeply, with a little more force than Tommy had. She sighed against his lips before he pulled away.

“I can give you that. That something more,” He murmured.

“But Tommy can too,” She whispered, “You’re so different but so... the same. You both have so much to offer, it’s why I love both of you so much.”

Nikki could swear you could hear his heart crack a little more when she said the other Terror Twin’s name, but it was interesting to know that she had the same conflict that they did. He sighed and moved her off of his lap, onto the couch just beside him so she could lean against him.

“You’re drunk, pretty girl. I could never force you to make that decision when you’re like this. But just... keep in mind that you’ve never been truly loved by either of us. As a lover I mean— you haven’t experienced how I love, and you haven’t experienced how Tommy loves. You can’t make an informed decision, you know what I mean?” The older Twin explained.

She nodded and her gaze shifted to the door as it opened. Tommy returned with three bottles and a waitress carrying a pitcher of water behind him, as well as some glasses.

“Thanks so much,” He smiled at the waitress as everything was placed on a table and the girl left.

“Hey, Nik, hows she holding up?” Tommy asked, placing himself on the other side of the girl.

“She’s good,” The bassist said and motioned the drummer closer for a more private conversation, “She kissed me,” He whispered to the other man.

“Yeah, me too. She’s drunk, we can’t hold that against her,” Tommy hissed.

“I feel bad making her choose, man,” Nikki groaned, voice dripping with angst.

“Me too, but she’s gotta,” The younger man shrugged.

“Are you two talking about me?” Y/N piped up.

“No, baby,” Tommy shook his head, pouring a glass of water, “Drink. We gotta sober you up.”

Taglist: @jayprettymuchomw @kayladurin @crazysaladchopshop @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @loveofmyloif @saints-of-the-universe @tommyfuckinlee @oh-well1

[the--blackdahlia]

Rusty Cage (Tommy x Nikki)

Title: Rusty Cage

Prompt: Jail

Summary:  Nikki never had a good feeling about the arrangement the management team made him and Tommy live in. And his feelings were confirmed when Tommy is arrested.

Warnings:  This will paint Pamela in a very, very bad light. So if you a Pamela stan, this might not be the fic for you. Also, several aspects are being written out, so this could be considered an AU. Language, fake marriage, forced contracts.

@classicrockbingo​

Elektra decided it was for the best, to make Tommy and Nikki look wholesome. Nikki married Brandi Brandt, and when Tommy’s relationship with Heather fizzled away, they set him up with someone else. Pamela Anderson had been friends with Brandi, and when they set in on the meeting with the management team, everyone, minus Nikki, decided that she would be the perfect fit for Tommy’s image. No amount of begging and pleading to his boyfriend could change Tommy’s mind. He just wanted to spend more time with Nikki, and if posing as Mr. Pamela Anderson was the way it had to be, then so be it.

“I just have a bad feeling about this babe,” Nikki told him the night before Tommy was supposed to “marry” Pamela. “I just don’t trust her.”

“I know how you feel,” Tommy sighed. “But she was the best option. She’s friends with Brandi anyway. And her contract doesn’t look two bad.”

“I know, I know,” Nikki sighed. He hated that they had to put up this front. He did love Brandi, but not in the way he loved Tommy. He had agreed to have three kids with her, and she could have a boyfriend if she wanted. Pamela wanted two with Tommy, and her contract didn’t seem bad, but something about how she presented herself just rubbed Nikki the wrong way.

"You know I love you, right?" Tommy asked as he piled his long body on Nikki's. Nikki smiled and took the drummer into his arms. Even when he had nothing else, he always had his Tommy. 

"Not as much as I love you," Nikki teased before placing a kiss on Tommy.

He was going to enjoy tonight, because tomorrow was going to be a long fucking day.

****

She changed the contract one the day of the “wedding”. She wanted more days with her husband than was originally on the contract, and Tommy knew when Nikki found out, he was going to throw a fit.

But honestly, Tommy also did too when the lawyers she had hired told him about the changes that were taking place. He felt like a kid in a custody battle. Pamela wanted certain days with him, and his lawyers would argue, her lawyers would shove it right back. It went on and on like this for a minute until Tommy finally excused himself for some air. He was about to call Nikki, to tell him the deal was off, that he didn’t care if he stayed with Brandi but he wasn’t going through with this.

That’s when the doors opened and she came walking out after him.

“Tommy,” She said softly. Tommy put down his phone and looked at her. “I know that this whole thing is crazy, and things aren’t going the way either of us planned, but I think we can make it work.” She sat on the bench by where he was sitting and rested her hand on top of his. “You know, I always did have a crush on you when I was hanging out with Bret Michaels. I was with Poison, but I really wanted to be with Motley Crue.”

“That’s...cool?” Tommy looked at her. “What is in this for you Pamela?”

“Two kids, for starters,” She told him. “And I think we can help each other out more than you think Mr. Lee. I mean, I’m a Baywatch Babe, but I could be so much more. And your Mr. Bad Boy of Rock, we could bend Hollywood to our will.”

“You do know this arrangement is just for show, right?” Tommy told her.

“Of course sweetie,” She smiled at him. “Doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun along the way, right?” Her hand trailed up his arm, making him shiver a bit. She leaned over, letting her lips ghost across his cheek. Her lips were right by his ear. “There’s paps everywhere. Wanna put on a good show, don’t we?” She whispered before licking his ear. She pulled back and smirked at him. “Let’s go back in, shall we?” She stood up and offered her hand to him, which he took and walked back into the conference room with her.

****

The management team spread the wedding of Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson like wildfire. They sent her and Tommy to Mexico for it, and soon, they were coming back to LA and Tommy had never been happier to see LAX. As the plane landed, they made their way to the private area where they could be without cameras and screaming paparazzi. Tommy headed towards his car.

“Where are you going?” Pamela asked, watching him make his way to his car.

“Home?” He turned to look at her.

“I thought you’d want to spend some more time together,” She told him.

“I just spent almost two weeks with you in Mexico. I miss Nikki,” Tommy explained. “We’ll meet up and have lunch or something tomorrow. But tonight, I need to spend it with my boyfriend.” Pamela frowned as she watched Tommy get in his car and drive off.

****

“God, I missed you,” Tommy sighed as he laid in Nikki’s arms. “She is a little much.”

“I tried to tell you,” Nikki held him close. “Someday, we’re going to be out from fucking Elektra, and we won’t have to jump through all these fucking hoops.” He traced his fingers over tattoos and smiled as he remembered going with Tommy to get most of these.

“Just ten years of her, or getting rid of Elektra,” Tommy sighed. “I can’t fucking wait.”

****

She started getting demanding. On the days when he would be spending with Nikki, she would keep calling him, asking when he was coming home. On the days he was with her, Nikki could never reach him. Tommy would come back to him looking tired and sad. Nikki would’ve done anything to help him, but their hands were tied as long as Elektra was breathing down their necks.

Tommy fulfilled part of his contract in June, when he went through the process laid out by his lawyers to inseminate Pamela. Nikki remembered that fight. She had been under the impression that they would have actually consummated their “marriage”, but Tommy had gone another route to get her pregnant with the first of the two children that she wanted.

Nikki remembered Tommy’s face when he held Brandon for the first time. His eyes were wide and he couldn’t stop smiling. Yeah, Tommy had held babies in the past. Hell, he had absolutely fawned over the ones Nikki and Brandi had had.

“Nik, he’s perfect,” Tommy whispered, looking up at the bassist. “I love him.”

“He looks like you babe,” Nikki smiled and kissed Tommy’s forehead.

“Uh hum,” Pamela’s voice cut through. “I’d like to spend time with my husband and son. Alone.” Tommy and Nikki looked at each other before Tommy sighed and nodded.

“I’ll see you at home later,” Nikki told him, giving him a kiss before heading out the door. Him and PAmela glared at each other. Nikki was itching to say something to her. He wanted to tell her that Tommy wouldn’t be her husband for much longer, or something like that, but instead, he just gave Tommy and Brandon a smile before he left the hospital.

****

“Nikki!” Tommy called out a few months later. Nikki was in the study, working on some lyrics, and Tommy had brought Brandon with him to their home while Pamela was out for the day. Nikki made his way into the living room where Tommy was playing with his son and he watched as Brandon made it a few steps before falling.

“Oh my god! Pam’s not gonna be happy that I saw him walk before she did,” Nikki teased as he bent down and scooped the toddler up into his arms, who instantly stopped crying and snuggled into Nikki’s chest. “God, he’s a cute kid.”

“That’s because he has me for a dad,” Tommy laughed, watching Nikki and Brandon. “And you look good holding him.”

“You saying I don’t always look good?” Nikki smirked at him.

“Oh, shut your mouth,” Tommy laughed. He looked at Brandon and saw him fast asleep in Nikki’s arms, holding onto the threadbare t-shirt that he was wearing. “Well, look at that.”

“I got a gift,” Nikki smiled, placing a gentle kiss on Tommy’s lips. “Why don’t we put him to bed and watch a movie before you have to get him back to her.”

“I wish that I didn’t have to split my time,” Tommy admitted as they took Brandon to the nursery that had previously been used for Nikki’s kids. Brandi was a lot more liberal about letting the kids around Tommy, to the point that Gunner had even said once that he had two daddies and one mommy.

“It won’t be like this forever,” Nikki told him. “I wish you could’ve just stuck with Heather though. Things were easier with her. She was pretty laid back like Brandi.” His and Brandi’s contract had just come up, and with talks about Elektra dropping Motley Crue, Nikki decided to not renew or find another girl. Him and Brandi were still on pretty good terms though, and were working on co-parenting, which wasn’t too bad.

“I know, I just…” Tommy sighed and Nikki wrapped his arms around his waist as they watched Brandon sleep.

“It’ll be okay babe,” Nikki told him. “I got you.”

****

A prison is what Tommy felt like he was trapped in when she kept badgering him for their second child. Brandon had grown really attached to Nikki, wanting to spend more time over there than he did at home. His “NiNi” loved him just as much as he loved his own children.

So Tommy made good on his contract in 1997, Dylan was born. Another perfect little boy and Tommy loved him just as much as he loved Brandon. He had even made plans to get their names tattooed on his wrists, so they were always with him.

But also, in ‘97, things were starting to change.

First off, Elektra dropped Motley Crue from their management team. Vince came back after his time off, and while Nikki and Tommy really liked John, it was so great to have Vince back with them and Mick.

But then, the big change came over dinner, when Tommy and Nikki had a peaceful moment to themselves.

“I think I’m going to break my contract with Pamela,” Tommy told Nikki as they ate the meal that Tommy had prepared. “I’m ready to pay whatever fine it is that her lawyers lined out or whatever, but I wanted to run it by you before I told my lawyers.”

“Are you sure about this?” Nikki asked. “I don’t want her to try to cut off your balls or something the next time you’re over there to see the boys.”

“I don’t think she’s that crazy,” Tommy laughed. “I’ll let the lawyers handle it. I still want to be able to see my boys.” Tommy gave Nikki the biggest smile, which the bassist returned.

They both thought things were finally looking up.

****

It was about two weeks after Tommy’s lawyers were able to work him out of the contract that Pamela called. Tommy had been ignoring her calls, but this was the third time within an hour she had called him and he had had about enough.

“Hello?”

“About time!” Pamela called out. “Dylan’s really sick and I need you to get here now.”

“Wait, what? What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know just get over here,” She told him before hanging up. Tommy all but ran out to his car and headed towards the house, calling Nikki on the way.

“Babe, Dylan’s sick,” Tommy told him. “I’m going over there to see what’s wrong. If you don’t hear from me in fifteen minutes, send help.” Tommy chuckled a little. “Love you.” He hung up the phone, knowing Nikki would get a kick out of his voicemail. He pulled into the driveway of the house and headed inside. The media hadn’t been told about the “divorce” yet, but it was only a matter of time before they figured it out.

“Daddy!” Brandon smiled and ran to Tommy when he came through the door. “Where’s Nikki?”

“He’s at work little man,” He smiled. “Where’s your mom and Dyl?”

“In the kitchen,” Brandon told him. “Daddy, I colored a picture today. Wanna see it?”

“I’ll check it out in a minute my man,” Tommy smiled and headed to the kitchen, where Pamela was standing with her back to him, holding Dylan. “Okay, what’s up?” Pamela turned to look at Tommy with bruises on her face and arms. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Stay away!” She screamed loudly. “The police are on their way?”

“What are you talking about?” He asked, taking a step towards her. “What’s going on?”

The front door burst open then and Brandon screamed as police came in. Pamela held onto a crying Dylan as the police came at Tommy, guns drawn.

“Hands up!” An officer barked. “Now!” Tommy immediately held his hands in the air.

“What’s going on?” Tommy asked. “Pamela?” She backed up, keeping Dylan in her arms, who was trying to reach for his dad. 

“Mr. Thomas Lee Bass, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent…” The officers voice trailed off as Tommy stared at Pamela, who glanced up at him and smiled before returning to her tears.

****

Nikki decided to drive by Pamela’s after hearing Tommy’s voicemail. They had been having some issues with her, constantly calling, being beyond angry, threatening. So something in the back of his mind just told him to go by and make sure that everything was okay.

That’s when he came upon the scene. Police cars in front of the house, Pamela and the boys standing in the front entrance, and Tommy being led to a cop car in handcuffs. Nikki quickly pulled his car into park and raced up to the scene.

“Nikki!” Tommy called out as he was being put in the cop car.

“Tommy! What’s going on?” The cop shut the door before Tommy could speak, but it was obvious that he was crying. Nikki stared through the window at his boyfriend, trying to find out what was going on.

“You can speak with him later,” A cop told Nikki before getting in the car. Nikki turned to look at Pamela. Brandon ran over.

“Nikki!” He grabbed onto his legs and cried. “Where’s daddy going?”

“I don’t know buddy,” Nikki picked Brandon up. Dylan was wiggling in Pamela’s arms, trying to follow his brother over to the bassit. “Pamela, what’s going on?”

“He’s an abusive piece of shit,” She spat. “Hit me while I was holding Dylan. He came over for no reason and hit me!”

“That’s...his voicemail said you called and told him Dylan was sick!” Nikki yelled. Pamela’s tears stopped as quickly as they started and she smiled at Nikki.

“Watch your tone of voice Mr. Sixx. Or you’ll never see Tommy again,” She laughed a little. “Brandon, sweetie, come inside.”

“But mommy…” Pamela gave her son a look. Brandon looked up at Nikki. “Love you Nikki.” He gave him a hug before wiggling out of his arms and heading over to his mom. Nikki sighed and looked back the way the police cars had left before getting in his car and leaving.

****

“I didn’t do this,” Tommy told everyone. His lawyer, the cops, and now Nikki. His lawyers had brought him in to help Tommy calm down, and it was working to an extent. “I never touched her! She told me Dyl was sick and I was worried.”

“I know babe,” Nikki wrapped his arm around the drummer. “We’re going to get to the bottom of this, okay?”

“If they say it's a misdemeanor, I’m looking at a year in jail Nik,” Tommy told him. “If they decide it’s a felony based on whatever fucking story she tells them, god, I’ll be here forever.” Tommy held his head in his hands. “Fuck, why didn’t I stay with Heather?”

“Because you both wanted different things in life,” Nikki rubbed his back. “We’re going to fix this. I know you didn’t do it. You know, Pamela knows. I just wish I could get the confession out of her before your trial…”

“Fuck,” Tommy banged his head on the table. “I’m so fucked.”

“I’m going to fix this babe,” Nikki told him. “There has to be a way.”

“She’s going to win, and she’s never going to let me see my boys ever again,” Tommy wiped his eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You’ve got the best legal team we can afford. We’re going to fight this,” Nikki held him tightly. “I love you Tommy.”

“I love you too Nik,” Tommy closed his eyes. They stayed like that for as long as they could, until Nikki had to leave. 

But he went home to plan.

****

“Come on, one of you has to have like a Talkboy or something,” Nikki sighed. “What good are you two?”

“Hey, we’re not Macaulay Culkin. Sorry,” Vince sighed.

“We’re just as upset as you are, but we’re not spies,” Mick added.

“I mean, is there even a small chance that he could’ve actually hit her?” Vince asked. “I saw what he did to Honey back in the day.” Nikki turned to glare at him.

“She fucking stabbed him,” He hissed. Vince raised his hands, showing Nikki he meant no harm. “He’s facing some serious time and I know that she is lying. But they’ll just say I’m trying to cover for him. I need actual proof.”

“And dragging her by her blonde hair to the police station isn’t an option?” Mick shrugged. Nikki held his head in his hands. Tommy was being held until the trial, and Nikki wanted to save Tommy before that.

“Sorry man, but life isn’t like the movies. You don’t get the information you need at the exact moment that you need it,” Vince patted his shoulder. “Things don’t work that...wait a minute.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a Talkboy, but I think that one of my kids has a tape recorder that they used for school,” Vince jumped up. “Give me a few minutes.” He disappeared into the other room to call Beth, not that he really wanted to.

“Wow, he must really care for the kid if he’s willing to call her,” Mick laughed. “We’re going to get through this Nikki. I promise.”

“I hope so,” Nikki sighed. “I can’t go another night without Tommy.” Vince came back then with a smirk on his face.

“Got you the tape recorder,” Vince laughed. “Now, let’s go save Tommy from being someone’s prison bitch!”

****

Nikki made his way to the jail to see Tommy. It felt like it had been so long since he had last seen him, and he really missed him. He headed to the visiting area. Tommy had a jumpsuit and everything, even though he was not officially in jail yet, they would not release him, fearing his was a “danger to society”.

Nikki sat there, waiting, until he heard the door open and Tommy was escorted in. He looked up from the discolored paint piece he was looking at and almost gasped.

Tommy had a black eye, busted lip, and it looked like his nose had bled some. Nikki quickly scrambled for the phone and waited for Tommy to pick up his.

“What happened?” Nikki asked. Tommy gave a snorted laugh.

“Guess it doesn’t matter how popular Motley Crue is with prisoners, a supposed wife beater is still shit,” Tommy explained. Tommy looked up at Nikki. “I still look sexy, right?”

“Of course,” Nikki offered him the best smile he could manage. “They put you in general population then?”

“Yeah, for a bit. But they’re telling me that I’ll probably serve the rest of my sentence in solitary or some shit,” Tommy sighed. “I need whoever Vince had to represent me so I can get his life of luxury…”

“Tommy, I’m trying to fix this…” Nikki told him. Tommy nodded, but Nikki could tell that the couple weeks he had been there had already taken a toll on him. MEntally, physically, and emotionally.

“I want to go home Nik,” Tommy whispered. Nikki nodded.

“And I want you home too,” Nikki told him. “I’m going to get you home. She can’t get away with this.”

“I think she already has Nik,” Tommy sounded so sad, and seeing the injuries on his face just made Nikki’s blood boil even more.

“You haven’t been sentenced yet,” Nikki told him. “She isn’t going to win. I’m not going to let her.” Tommy just gave him a small smile and nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Before they knew it, visiting was over and Nikki was walking out of the jail with fire in his veins and determination in his eyes.

****

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Vince asked as the three of them set outside Pamela’s house.

“Nope, but I have to do it,” Nikki held the stuffed toy in his hand from the last time the boys had been over. “You guys didn’t see Tommy’s face the last time I got to see him. He was beat to hell.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to do this,” Mick patted his arm. “But we’ll be right out here, ready and waiting.” Nikki nodded and got out of the car. He made his way up to the front door, took a deep breath, and rang the bell. Pamela came to the door, ready to shut it as soon as she saw Nikki standing there.

“Wait, wait,” Nikki held the door. “I just came to give this back to Dylan and…” He sighed. “I’ve came to beg.”

“Wait...what?” Pamela opened the door. “The great Nikki Sixx is here to beg? What for?”

“Just let me in,” Nikki pleaded with her. Pamela nodded and let him in. “Where are the boys?” Nikki noticed that it was strangely quiet in the house, just some music playing.

“They’re with my mother,” She told him. She crossed her arms over her chest, watching him. “I believe I heard something about begging?”

“What is it going to take to get you to drop the charges?” Nikki asked. “Do you want him to sign another contract or something? Want another kid? Elektra dropped us, but I’m sure he’d agree to it. I...do you want to actually be married to him or something?”

“I have a boyfriend,” She told him, sitting on a barstool. “I just want to get a point across that you don’t fuck me over.” She took a sip of her wine. “Where do you think I really got these bruises from Nikki? It sure as hell wasn’t from Tommy. It was from a very, very athletic afternoon.”

“Boyfriend?” Nikki asked.

“What? You think Tommy was the only one to have a guy on the side?” She smirked. “It’s someone Tommy hates. And boy, when I brought up screwing him over, he was all game for it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Nikki asked, taking a step back.

“Because no one will ever believe you,” She smirked. “Look at him and his history, then look at me. They’ll lock him away faster than Vince driving on the 110.”

“Oh my god,” Nikki gasped.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll still be your little toy when he gets out. If he gets out,” She laughed. “But I’m sure as hell not going to make it easy on him.”

“Bitch,” Nikki whispered.

“I’d watch your words Mr. Sixx,” She tapped her fingers on the counter. “It wouldn’t be too hard to stick you in the cell right across from him.” With that, Nikki left, heading out the front door. Pamela smiled as she heard the front door close and she headed upstairs to where her boyfriend was waiting for her.

****

“So?” Vince asked as Nikki got in the car. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the tape recorder, rewinding it and playing the conversation from the beginning.

“Bitch didn’t expect a thing,” Nikki smiled. “We gotta get this to Tommy’s lawyers, ASAP.”

“On it,” Mick nodded and the three of them drove off, heading towards Tommy’s lawyers.

****

“What’s going on?” Tommy asked, confused, when the guards came in to let him out of his cell.

“You’ve been sprung,” One of the guards admitted. Tommy frowned, but let himself be led to the area where he changed out of his jumpsuit and back into the clothes he had been arrested in. They gave him his wallet, since Nikki had gotten the keys and was able to pick up Tommy’s car from impound. But Nikki was right there, waiting for him, as he left the jail. Nikki quickly had his arms around Tommy, holding him close.

“What did you do?” Tommy asked when Nikki finally let go of him for a minute. “What happened?”

“Pamela confessed,” Nikki told him. “Charges are being dropped and we are filing charges against her now.”

“What?” Tommy asked, extremely confused.

“I’ll explain when we get home,” Nikki laughed, leading Tommy to the car to take him home, where he belonged.

****

Tommy’s lawyers started the process, and not only was Pamela in trouble, but so was her boyfriend. She tried to blame most of it on him, but no one was buying it. And it didn’t help her case any when she smacked Tommy across the face when she saw him the next time.

Two weeks after that, the lawyers explained to Tommy what was going on, and asked if he wanted primary custody of Brandon and Dylan, who had been living with Pamela’s mom since everything went down.

“Yes,” Tommy told them, looking over at Nikki, hoping he agreed.

“I agree with him,” Nikki smiled. “We’d love to have them in our home.”

Brandon and Dylan were both so happy with be with their dad again, and they both adored Nikki so much. The first night they lived with them permanently, Tommy stood in the doorway of Brandon’s room and watched him for a moment. Nikki came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Watchya thinking about babe?” Nikki asked, placing a kiss on his neck.

“I’m so fucking happy,” Tommy told him, leaning back against him. “We have the boys, we’re free from the contracts, I’m free from jail and Pamela. We’re finally free.”

“I know,” Nikki smiled against his skin. “I never thought we’d get here, but I’m so glad that we did.” Tommy nodded and walked with him back to their bedroom, for the first time in months, they were finally able to relax.

The End

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo​ @dekahg​ @marvel-af-imagines​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @nanie5​ @imboredsueme​ @gemini0410​ @aiaranradnay​ @babypink224221​ @mogarukes​ @xxwarhawk​ @sandlee44​ @shatteredabby​ @caswinchester2000​ @supernaturalwincestsblog​ @lauravic​ @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk​ @teller258316​ @horrorpxnk​ @tommyleeownsme​ @marvelismylifffe​

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[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part twelve/

Word count: 2.5k

A/N: In third person again, I find it easier with some parts of the story. Hope y’all enjoy it! Feedback is always appreciated!

Warnings: language, sexual themes ;) , angst

Taglist: @oskea93 , @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyes , @miserablecunt, @electradestiny , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @tiranni, @venus-calum , @justjodeye , @supernaturalvikingwhore, @extremesadnerding , @hi-my-name-is-riley, @are-we-real, @thatbandchick39 , @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland , @dillightfulpickle, @baiabouk , @awesomealmostdopestudent , @madsthegroupie, @balladblood, @myheadisinvsded, @romanticvengeance @martabastic , @hoop-diddy-doo, @tashy-bear

Vanity woke up the next morning in a unfamiliar hotel room. But she saw Nikki’s leather jacket hanging on the sofa, but he was no where in sight.

Hm, he must of left already.

Vanity slowly got out of bed as the world spun around her, head throbbing profusely. Ahe’s never felt like this a day in her life, and she has done her fair share of partying.

But, I’ve also never done smack before. She thought to herself.

She got out of bed and stumbled over to a pack of cigarettes and a pair of sunglasses that belonged to Nikki, then stepped outside on the balcony, to sit down and light a smoke.

Suddenly, the sliding glass door that lead inside opened and it startled her as she turned and saw Nikki.

“Uh...I’m leaving once I finish this.” She said while holding up her cigarette, “and once I find my brother.” She grumbled, “Your brother left an hour ago.” Nikki had no emotion in his voice, “Oh...okay.” Vanity said quietly as they both sat in the awkwardness, “Well I guess I should be going and uh...” she paused while she cleared her dry throat, “I’m sorry for the things I said while I was inebriated.” Vanity told him without making eye contact and standing up.

“Wait, can we talk about a few things?” Nikki asked her. She slowly sat back down and nodded,

“I wanted to talk about...the uh fight we had.” Nikki said while swallowing the lump that was in the back of his throat, Vanity sighed,

“Im sorry for the things I said to you, and putting a hole in your bedroom wall.” Nikki told her, while trying to move closer to her, but Vanity kept scooting away from him.

“I just...I just got so upset with you, and I should’ve been in control.” Nikki said while placing a hand on the side of her thigh, but he slowly took his hand away from her body when he felt her tense up.

He was having a total fit on the inside, How the fuck could I have let my emotions get the best of me?

“Vanity...” Nikki spoke her name softly, while taking off the sunglasses, and then moving pieces of her hair out of her face, but again all he could notice was how she flinched and how her eyes closed,

“Van, I know my actions from before speak differently, but I would never, ever lay a fucking finger on your pretty little self.” Nikki said in barely a whisper, and finally Vanity met his gaze,

“How do I know that, Nikki? You shoved me and I knew you wanted to hit me the moment I saw your hand come up. And then you do it again last night too.” Vanity finally spoke, and Nikki hung his head down,

“I only shoved you to get you to relax, but what you said made my emotions take over me. I would never hit you. After all the things I’ve been through with my mother, I never laid a hand on her and I don’t plan on ever laying a finger on any woman ever.” Nikki tried explaining to her,

Vanity placed her hand on the left side of his cheek, the same cheek she smacked a year ago and gently caressed it with her thumb, “I’m so, so sorry for what I said to you. I didn’t mean it, when I’m angry I turn into a different person.” Vanity tried telling him, remembering what her brother was telling him last night.

“And how do you think I felt? You’re the one who hit me.” Vanity looked away from him with tears in the corner of her eyes, “I begged you to leave because I knew it wasn’t going to end pretty, and I hit you hoping it would make you leave, but you didn’t that’s when I made that comment, because I knew it would get under your skin.” She was ashamed when she spoke, Nikki sighed while looking down at his feet,

“It doesn’t justify the fact that you said it, Being mad isn’t an excuse to say things we don’t mean Van, we’re adults.”

Damn him, why did he have to be smart? She thought,

“But why didn’t you just leave!” Vanity got upset and stood up from the chair and looked over the Dallas skyline. “Why did you have to try it when you already knew I was emotional?” Vanity questioned him,

“I was trying to fucking calm you down! I stopped planning an entire tour to come to your house and calm you down.” Nikki says, obvious frustration in his voice. “ I was trying to show you i care about you and all you’re doing is finding every excuse as to why you said or did these things!” Nikki shouted, but lowered his voice when she saw her jump, but she turned around and faced him anyways,

“I’m not making excuses for anything Nikki! God this was a mistake, I’m leaving.” Vanity said not even caring if she didn’t have shoes on, let alone pants. Nikki followed her back into the hotel room, and grabbed her by her arm and spun her around they were mere inches from each other, “You aren’t leaving so easy this time.” He tells her, and she looks up at his tall stature

“Nikki im not making excuses for what I said. You had no fucking idea what I went through. I got home from burying my father and watching his casket get lowered into the fucking ground.” Vanity said as she remembered that day. It was raining which made it ironic yet poetic at the same time,

“I had no choice but to leave, that’s what I tried to explain in that letter.” Vanity explained to him while her voice was shaky, Nikki let out a laugh and then a eye roll, “That letter? You call that a letter? Vanity, that was barely two sentences.” Nikki immediately snapped back at her,

“You left me not even enough words for a coherent fucking thought, Vanity! How is that supposed to make me feel?! What am i supposed to do with two god damn sentences?! “ He angrily says, while at the same time trying to keep his temper low, not wanting to scare this petite girl once again.

“I don’t know nikki.” She pinched the bridge of her nose while looking down at the floor, “I just...I never know what to say to you. You make me very nervous and I think you know it.” Vanity told him while finally looking at him,

Nikki is taken back by her words, almost shocked but mainly confused as to why she would feel like that. “Why do i make you nervous? Its just me, Plain ol’ Nikki..” Vanity swooned over his words,

She gave him a million dollar smile, “Nikki, you are anything but plain.” She said while cupping his cheek and tracing his sharp jawline with her fingers, she made him feel like the millions of dollars he’s actually worth.

Nikki crashed his lips into the pretty girls plump lips, his hands moving up to cup both sides of her cheeks. “Please, don’t go. You’ve been gone for so fucking long and i just want to have you with me for a bit longer..” Nikki says in a soft-whisper tone, his forehead softly pressed against hers, his eyes still closed.

But Vanitys eyes are wide open, she couldn’t believe the Nikki fucking Sixx kissed her. she slowly backed away which gave him the wrong impression.

“shit...” Nikki mumbles under his breath. What the fuck did i just do? such a dumbass. “I-..im sorry..” He says, sitting down onto the couch, arms perched up on his knees, he puts his head in his hands, completely embarrassed.

Vanity watches him, she kneels down and moves his arms and places her hand under his chin to make her look at him. Her eyes wander from his green eyes to his lips, all she knew is that she wanted more of it. And truth be told, Nikki didn’t know what to do. Watching her eyes flicker between his eyes & his lips. Either, kiss her and hope she kisses him back, or don’t. At this point, Nikki was nervous. No woman has ever made Nikki nervous, and currently his mind is going a hundred miles a minute.

But to his surprise, Vanity crawled into his lap, straddling him and held both sides of his face as she kissed him,

Who needed drugs to feel whole when I had this? Nikki’s mind was racing as Vanity deepened the kiss and entangled her fingers in his hair,

Nikki wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her back with the upmost passion he’s ever had in his life, while pulling her body closer to his, he needed her as close as she possibly could be, and even that wasn’t enough for him.

Vanity has kissed many boys, but no boy ever made her feel how Nikki Sixx did. His kisses were so rough and rugged yet filled with so much passion, and the way his hands glided against her body as if he’s already done it his whole life, she didn’t need to show him how to kiss her because he already knew.

Nikki felt a sudden fire ignite in him that he’s never felt before. He trails his hands down her back and then to her backside, squeezing softly, while beginning to guide her hips against his.

She moaned into his mouth and that was sweet music to his ears, he could never write a note that compares to the sound that just came out of Vanity. Without breaking the kiss, Nikki picked her up, which caused a giggle to come from her lips and he laid her on the bed while crawling on top of her.

Breaking the kiss, Nikki softly whispers “Absolutely breathtaking, doll.” before his lips attach to her neck. Between feeling her skin against his lips, sloppy kisses, occasionally nipping & sucking at the skin, hearing Vanity a moaning mess made him want her even more.

Vanity reached for his big, studded belt buckle and undoes it, as one of her manicured hands is raking up and down Nikki’s back and sending goosebumps down his body.

Nikki never thought he’d end up being putty in anyone’s hands, up until he met Vanity. The way her nails were scratching down his back is sending him mad. Nikki can’t take it anymore and quickly pulls her shirt off, his mouth connects to her breast, nipping at the skin on it, leaving his mark on her.

“Nikki..” Vanity breathes out, while running her hand through his messy hair. She then moves her hand between them and feels the growing erection Nikki has for her, he just about lost it when he heard her moan his name for the first time.

A groan escapes his lips at the slightest touch from her, sending pleasure through his whole body. He leaves a few soft kisses, moving his tongue down to her nipple. He laps his tongue around it a few times, softly biting down and sucking for a moment. Hearing the sound of Vanity’s whimpers & moans gets him to the point where he can’t get enough, he needs to taste her.

Nikki’s hands trailed up her tanned, toned legs and reached for the waistband of her thong, he pulled it down her legs, “My favorite color.” He said and then throwing them down on the floor, he repositioned her and draped her legs over his his shoulders while he laid on his stomach,

Nikki kissed her inner thighs softly nipping gently at the sensitive skin. He kisses closer & closer to where he wants to be most.

“Oh fuck!!” Both of them snapped out of it when Tommy and Vince barged in. Nikki quickly covered up Vanity with the white linen sheets, “Ah man! So sorry!” Tommy said while covering his eyes and Vince cracking up over the second hand embarrassment. Vanity was beet red while hiding under the sheets, “Get out!! Now!!” Nikki yelled at them while removing himself from between her legs and shoving them out his hotel door,

“Fucking assholes. “ Nikki says through swollen & red lips, obviously annoyed, but he quickly turned his attention back to her. “I’m sorry, doll face..” he says trailing off, rubbing the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact out of embarrassment. Vanity stayed covered up as Nikki stood there ever so awkwardly, “I should be going anyways.” She said quietly while putting his shirt back on. “Oh yeah....you’re right...I gotta pack anyways.” Nikki tried playing it off,

Nikki buckles his belt back up, while slyly readjusting himself. His heart was hearting, but now his cock was too. If it weren’t for his not-knowing-how-to-knock band members, he would’ve gotten what he’s dreamed of for so long. “It was,” Nikki coughs slightly, feeling as awkward as ever “It was really good to see you, Vanity..” he says, while trying to hide behind his mess of a hair style.

Vanity laughed, “So you’re just gonna get me naked and then send me on my way like you do these other girls?” She said trying to make light of the situation, which made Nikki smile and he walked back over to the bed while trying to pull the sheets away from her waist,

“Well, we could finish if you’d like, and then i can send you off. “ He says jokingly with a soft laugh, deep down wanting to continue,

She playfully hits him with a pillow at him, “I’ll take a rain check, Rockstar.” She said while gathering her things, “My mom is probably flipping out about where I’ve been all night.” She added on while standing face to face with him. Her eyes went straight for his bulge that was popping out , “Huh...bigger then I thought.” She said with a devilish smile on her face.

“So you have thought about my dick?” Nikki says with his famous smirk, looking her up & down. She smiled and brushed her hand against it causing Nikki to groan, “Wouldn’t you like to know.” She was still playing hard to get but Nikki couldn’t help but notice the bruises he had left on her neck from his lips, he had left his mark on her and he was damn proud of that .

Nikki sighed deeply, any type of sensation from her just drove him absolutely mad. “Good luck explaining all of that,” as he points to her neck & chest “to your mom. He smiles widely, holding back a laugh. “Just saying, to make getting yelled at worth it, we should just finish. “ He says with a smirk, just mind fucking her at this point.

She quickly ran to the bathroom, “Nikki!!” She whined then came back out, “God I’m gonna get fucking murdered.” She said and Nikki put his hands on her hips, “Come back home and she won’t have the chance.” He says while looking at her with a serious face, hoping she’d somehow agree, even if it’s in his wildest dreams. He missed his Vanity greeting him at the diner, his Vanity being his safe haven and a person to call home, even though she didn’t know that yet. He was still conflicted with him self and why he was saying she was already his when she wasnt.

“I’ll be home soon. We’ve hired someone to take over daddy’s place.” Vanity replied with a small smile on her face and toying with his fingers,

“I gotta go though, I’ll let you know when I’m home.” She said while backing up to the door, Nikki trying to close the distance between them. He reached behind her and opened up the door for her, “Bye Vanity.” Nikki responded, eyes full of lust. He placed his hand on the side of her cheekbone, and pulled her in for a kiss, “I’ll be seeing you, sweets.” Vanity kissed him back and then pulled away with a cheesy smile on her face, “Bye Nikki.” She said with a smirk, letting her hand trail down his chest before walking away from him.

[makki59]

The drive (my first attempt at writing FanFiction)

On a lonely road later at night,surround by trees there is a single car zooming down the road, clearly going above the speed limit with no destination in mind. The car is an old piece of shit that is ready to breakdown....well that is how Max would put it.

Max POV

"God dam it....fucking parents" I think to myself, as I push down the gas pedal to the floor of the car. "I'm fucking 17 now I can do what I want. They are pieces of shit any way....but I can't get their voices out of my head."

Useless...poor excuse of a son...we should have never had you...

"No matter how fast or far I drive it all just keeps echoing in my head, I don't even know how long and far I have been driving. If I just think about anything other than them........" I stare at the road in front of me and can see all the rain and water on the ground reflecting the light from my car. "Fuck where am I even going right now.....I'm surprised that this fucking car is still going I shouldn't have bought it from Neil's cousin" I say out loud to get my mind off of everything.

I open my flip phone to check the time 12:34am, David got this phone for me during camp one year and told me "I just wanted to make sure you can stay in touch with all your new friends and me if you ever need anything." Looking back now I should have asked for help right then and their. I haven't seen camp man for two years. He texts me every now and again, but we don't talk often. I guess I miss davi... "Fuck! What am I thinking he clearly doesn't care, he just got me the phone out of pity and for his morals not because he cares!" My knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel and I try to press down harder on the gas pedal.

"What the fuck!" I stare at a sign and couldn't believe my eyes. "Welcome to Camp Campbell!" Did I really drive all the way here with out realizing.....thank god no one will be here in the middle of winter. I keep driving towards camp but right when I am about to get there my car starts to slow down. I look and see that the car is now out of gas. "Shit! Of course that would happen, just my fucking luck" I can see the mess hall from my car but it is still pouring outside and I know the doors will be locked but the porch should be able to protect me.... I sigh and and unbuckle "I can't fucking stay in this car any longer, I will go insane"

I open the car door and run to the mess hall as fast as my legs can. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I know this is a bad idea but I don't fucking car anymore" I make it and sit down on a bench on the porch, and I am soaking wet. "That really was stupid...." I laugh lightly but I know it sounds void of all emotions. I look at my phone again and once again without my say so I start to call the one person I know who would be up right now. After a few rings they pick up.

"Hey Nik.."

"Hey Max! Have you ever wondered what owls sound like when they have sex?" She saids.

"What the fuck Nikki" I say while I laugh and smile slightly. She always has the weirdest things to say.

"I don't know. So what's up?"

"Oh nothing...hey you want to hang out right now...?" I ask not trying to sound to desperate.... even though you are....because you are a piece of shit. I hear my fathers voice in my head.

"Sure Max I can take my moms car out. Where are you?" Her voice snaps me out of it.

"Ah...well I am actually at camp..." I cringe at how awkward I sound.

"What the hell are you doing their for?" I hear some shuffling like she is getting up.

"I...I don't know I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and when I finally did I was here." I hope she doesn't look to far into this.

"What happened Max? Are you okay?" I have never heard her voice so full of concern before.

"Yes.... no... I don't know. I just needed to drive around to think" I look around and I fully realize that it is dead quiet and peaceful around me and I relax a little.

"Okay Max I will see you in a hour or so. Bye for now"

"Bye Nik." I hang up after she hangs up

I look around thinking about all the great times and horrible ones also I had here....but I would always prefer to be here than with my parents. I smile when I think about the time when me and Nikki had to raise an egg together and ours hatched....it is one of my favorite moments....even though the mother ate it a little after....I guess that is when my crush for Nikki began.....

"You know no one will ever care about you as long as you live" I shiver from hearing his voice and thinks about how scary he truly is when he is drunk....

Right before my thoughts could go any deeper I hear and see Nikki's moms car, of course it is a fancy mom van...totally doesn't fit Nikki's style. I see her get out with an umbrella and runs to where I am at.

"Hey Nik" I look up at and thankfully the porch has a motion light so we have some light.

"Hey Max....what happened to your face?!" She yells like she always does, but it's more concerned then usual. But my face? I touch my cheek I wince at how tender it is....oh yeah he hit me how could I forget.

I shrug and look down at my feet "nothing Nikki...don't worry about it.."

"Don't worry about?! How can I not Max?! You are my best friend of course I am worried. Please talk to me." I can hear how desperate she is for me to talk to her but I just can't....I don't know how to...

"I....I'm fine okay! I can handle myself! You wouldn't know about it" Honestly I don't know why I am getting worked up about this.

"You are not fine Max! It doesn't take a rocket scientist like Neil to know that! And I don't know because you won't tell me anything! Please let me help I want to help Max." I look up at her and I can see that she is hurt but also passionate about helping me

"I'm....you're right Nikki....I'm sorry I know I'm not the best with talking about myself..." I look down at my feet and sigh. "You know how I told you my parents don't care."

"Yeah...they never came to parents day.." she sits down next to me and looks at me. I of course look away blushing.

"Well it is more than that I guess...my dad gets drunk like a lot....my mom just sits and watches, while he...." I couldn't bring myself to say it so I just point to my bruised cheek. After a moment I hear a gasp

"Max...I..."

"It's fine Nik, it's my fault anyway I'm such a burden that it made my mom to stop caring and my dad to drink" I look any where but at Nikki because I can't stand to see pity from people.

"Max look at me" I don't know what makes me turn and look, maybe because it's her. "I know I'm usually the naive one that doesn't understand most things....but Max I know for a fact you aren't a burden, you aren't useless. What your parents have done to you it isn't okay, if I could I would send a whole wolf pack to tear them to bits. I may not know what do to about it. But I promise you Max, I will never leave your side. We are agents of chaos remember, I need you with me." I look at her and I see she is trying not to cry and I wipe my eyes to try to stop my own.

"Nikki I..." I realize at that moment the best way to say thank you isn't with my words, so I open my arms out. "Nik come here" she looks up and smiles slightly and hugs me tightly. At this point I can't stop myself from letting a few tears go.

"Max come on you are staying with me and my mom tonight." I knew I didn't have a choice but I don't mind. She stands up and grabs my hand and we walk to her car under her umbrella. And once we get in her car and start heading to her house she holds my hand again while driving.

"Nikki what the hel..."

"Max just please I need this" I feel my whole face heating up but I just nod and we keep holding hands, even when we get to her house we keep holding hands up until she heads to her room and I sleep on the couch

I slowly get up and I stretch out my arms. "Oh good morning Max" I turn around and I see Candy

"Oh morning Candy" right then Nikki comes sliding down the handrail and is smiling brightly like usual.

"Max! What should we do today!?" I smile to myself only Nikki can be so happy at a moments notice.

"You know Nikki....I got a plan for my dear parents"

"What do you mean Max?" Her voice isn't as happy as before, but I can tell she is happy that I am trying to fix this.

"Well I guess it all depends on what he saids" I stare at my phone and open it.

"Who?"

"Fucking camp man"

"Really...he should be able to help. I know for a fact he cares enough" I press call and put the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey camp man"

"Max! Oh golly I need to get Gwen here. Gwen! Max is on the phone!. Max I'm putting you on speaker say hi."

"Hey Gwen. So you and David got together finally"

"Hey little shit. And shut up, have you and Nikki gotten together yet"

"What no!"

"Sure whatever, so what do you need from us little shit"

"Well....uh shit this is harder than I thought....I need help guys I know David offered years ago and I was hoping...the offer is still there."

"Of course Max! I am always here for you!"

"Good it involves my parents....it's probably best if we talk in person about this, I will send you Nikki's address"

"I knew it your parents are abusive aren't they Max...my degree came in handy for that" I can tell she is trying to lighten the mood, even though she is hurt

"Im so sorry Max I should have called CPS long ago.....I knew something was wrong"

"It's in the past David....just help me now and we are even.....you two always were like....real parents to me...and I wish I told you both sooner." I can hear him already crying and I roll my eyes. "Just get here soon David, I would like to be moved into the house by tonight...if you want that is."

"Of course Max! I would love nothing more then you to live with me and Gwen"

"Yeah you little shit, see you soon" they hang up and so do I and Nikki comes and sits next to me and hugs me.

"I'm so proud of you Maxie"

"Oh god not the nicknames.....but Nikki it's thanks to you...if you weren't in my life I wouldn't be doing this...I....fuck it...I love you Nikki" I hold her hand again and look at her and she starts giggling

"Silly Mad Max, I thought I was going to confess first...I love you too" she starts laughing "you know this all happened just because you went for a drive, I need to take a road trip with you, I will have you wrapped around my finger" I start laughing with her and I knew my life is finally turning and I wouldn't mind going on more drives with her.

[petersasteria]

Oof - Harry Holland (7)

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲.

Pairing: Harry Holland x Model!Reader

Based on my Harry Holland one shot of the same title.

Harry Holland Masterlist || Ultimate Masterlist || Oof Materlist

DISCLAIMER:  *This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.*

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: He liked her for a long time, but she didn’t know he existed.

Ahh, the holiday season. It's that time of the year where gift giving is everywhere. Everyone is in the comfort of their own homes whilst wearing their most comfortable and warmest sweater. Every family is gathered around the table, feasting on what was cooked. Everything is so delicate and beautiful.

Tom and Harry decided that it'd be best to stay in their childhood home for the holidays. All of them are getting ready for the big Christmas dinner that will happen later that night. Everyone is busy doing their part. Paddy and Dom are busy decorating the Christmas tree, Sam and Nikki are in the kitchen preparing the food, and Tom and Harry are hanging the Christmas lights and decorations all over the house.

Tessa is sleeping in her little bed, unbothered. Paddy was envious that she had to sleep in. A growing boy needs his sleep, doesn't he?

Of course, there will always be something lacking or something forgotten in every single preparation. In this case, some ingredients for their dinner are needed but they aren't available in the kitchen which means it's time to go on a trip to the grocery store. Suddenly, the Christmas lights aren't working anymore when Tom turned it on. That means, it's time to buy a new one. They also needed new oven mittens and new pot holders.

Nikki quickly emerges out of the kitchen and calls for Tom and Harry who are just standing in the living room, trying to figure out how in the world did the Christmas lights stop working. They both look at their mum. Nikki says, "Can you please go to the grocery store to buy some ingredients for the party? Sam and I can't start without them. You guys can go after I list them down whilst it's early."

"I don't want to go." Harry whines. "Besides, I have to clean around here. Can Sam go with Tom instead?"

Nikki rolls her eyes, "Fine." She grabs a pen and a paper and writes down the things needed for cooking.

"Sam, you're coming with me!" Tom calls out. Sam walks out of the kitchen whilst eating a chocolate bar and just nods.

"Can I come too?" Paddy asks.

"Sure! The more the merrier." Tom laughs. He walks upstairs to his room to get his phone, wallet, and car keys. When he comes back down, Sam and Paddy are ready to go. Sam has the list and Paddy is already out of the door.

-

They arrive at the grocery store and they grab the stuff that's on the list. They even added their own treats in. Along the way, Sam decides that he'll make dessert instead of buying something store bought. Paddy, who's pushing the cart, immediately stops in his tracks causing Tom to bump into him which resulted in Sam bumping into Tom. It's such a domino effect.

"What the hell, Paddy!" Tom says, walking to the side of the cart.

"Isn't that Harry's life long crush, Y/N?" Paddy points at a girl with an oversized hoodie and a pair of leggings with running shoes who is standing in the vegetable aisle.

Sam and Tom simultaneously looks at the girl and they both smirk. "Yup." Sam says, popping the 'p'. He grabs some vanilla from the shelf and puts it in the cart.

"Let's ask for a selfie." Tom says all of a sudden.

"Are you mad?" Sam asks.

Tom looks at him and his smirks grows even bigger, "It's for making Harry jealous. If he wasn't a whiny little shit, he could've seen her. Since he isn't here, we could grab the opportunity to ask for a picture with her and show it to Harry!"

"I like that idea." Paddy grins.

Sam just sighs and looks down, "That's really mean." He slowly looks up, sporting a sly smile on his face, "I like it!"

With that, the three of them rush to where Y/N is, only slowing down when they're near her so that they aren't creepy. As the eldest Holland boy, Tom takes it upon himself to clear his throat to catch the young girl's attention.

Y/N looks up from the bell peppers with a shy smile on her face, "Oh, sorry. I must be in your way. I can-"

"No, actually." Tom stops her from rambling. He looks at his brothers with a smile before looking back at Y/N. 'I'm an actor, goddammit. I can do this shit in my sleep.' Tom thinks to himself before speaking to her again.

"We were just wondering if we could take a picture with you? We're such big fans of yours." Tom says in a fake giddy voice. Y/N flashes him her million dollar smile and nods, "Sure!"

She takes her hood off and fixes her hair. The three Holland boys look at her in awe. They may make fun of Harry and his undying love for this girl, but they don't blame him for loving her. Throughout the years of Harry showing them her pictures and telling them stories about her, they've grown to develop a small crush on her. They just don't want to admit it.

Y/N truly is a beautiful girl. Seeing her in person seems so surreal. They only ever heard of her from Harry's stories. Tom and the rest except for Sam, didn't have a clue who she was up until Harry showed them the school's website where she modeled for. They started following her on Instagram since then.

"Who's first?" Y/N asks politely. Tom, Paddy, and Sam look at each other. They thought it'll be a group photo but an individual photo with her seems so much better than what they had in mind!

"Oh, did you not want an individual photo? I'm so sorry that I assumed-"

"Oh, it's no problem!" Tom interrupts. "An individual photo is much better."

"Can we do poses?" Paddy blurts out as Y/N looks at him and giggles. Paddy could've sworn his heart exploded with happiness. She just nods at him with a cute smile on her face.

"I'll go first." Sam volunteers and hands Tom his phone. Y/N stands in the aisle seeing as there are only a few people in the grocery store. "What pose are we doing?" Y/N asks.

"I'll give you a piggyback ride." Sam says immediately causing her to laugh. She agrees and Sam slightly bends down so that Y/N can hop on. She wraps her arms around his neck as her legs are around his waist. Sam grips her thighs and they both smile for a picture.

Tom takes the picture. Y/N even insisted on doing wacky shots. So, they did.

Sam bends down again and so she can go down. Sam thanks her and takes his phone from Tom. "Who's next?" she asks.

"Me!" Paddy grins and hands Sam his phone. "Can we just do a simple one? Like hugging and stuff?" He asks and Y/N nods and immediately hugs him. Paddy hugs her too.

"I think it'd be cute if I look at you in a loving way. That'd be awesome, right?" Y/N suggests.

Paddy, Tom, and Sam all nod their heads. Her suggestions are genius and they totally fit their plans. Y/N smiles and looks at Paddy in a loving way. Paddy does the same too. Sam takes the photo with a huge grin on his face.

Paddy lets go and thanks her. Y/N looks at Tom with a slight smirk on her face, "Last one, big guy."

Tom hands Paddy his phone rushes up to Y/N and picks her up bridal style. Y/N squeals in surprise, "Jesus Christ, man!"

She wraps her arms around his neck and chuckles, "I assume this is the pose you had in mind?"

Tom looks at her and naturally turns on his charm, "Yeah. I thought it'd be cute."

"Okay, get ready." Paddy says, holding Tom's phone up to take the picture.

Not being able to take Tom seriously, her gaze moves to the floor as she smiles. Tom looks at her and kisses the top of her head. Paddy perfectly takes the picture and Sam has a look of surprise on his face.

"Done." Paddy says.

Tom sets her down and winks at her, "Thanks, love. You really made our day." She giggles and nods, "You're welcome. You guys made my day too. I'm really happy I met you, guys."

"One last photo...as a group this time?" Sam asks and Y/N shrugs, "Go for it."

Sam opens the front camera on his phone and all four of them get together to take a group selfie. After that, they bid their goodbyes and continue their shopping.

After grocery shopping and buying other things for the house, they come back and Sam immediately rushes to the kitchen with the grocery bags so he and Nikki can start cooking.

"What took you all so long?" Harry asks as he takes the new Christmas lights out of the bag. Paddy sits on the floor to play with Tessa who is now awake. Tom just shrugs, "Line was too long."

Harry just nods before he and Tom put up the Christmas lights.

-

Before going home, Tom, Sam, and Paddy planned to make their pictures with Y/N their wallpapers. They also plan on purposely leaving their phones in the living room so that when they ask Harry to fetch their phones, he'll see their lockscreens and go livid.

That's what's happening now.

Everyone is enjoying themselves out in the backyard where the celebration is happening. The whole family was there.

"Um, Harry? Can you please get my phone in the living room?" Tom asks nicely. Harry gets up from his seat and nods.

"Mine too!" Sam calls out.

"Same here!" Paddy adds.

Harry rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He goes back inside the house to fetch all three phones in the living room. As soon as he picks them up, their phones open and he sees their lockscreens.

"OH MY GOD." Harry says loudly.

The three culprits try to hide their laughter when Harry goes back outside.Harry glares at the three of them and asks, "You met Y/N?!"

"Yeah, at the grocery store." Sam laughs, not taking it anymore.

"If you've been with us, you could've seen her and told her your undying love for her." Tom says dramatically.

"Lucky bastards." Harry mumbles under his breath as he hands them their phones.

"You know it." Tom teases.

* * * *

lucky bastards indeed and mY DMS ARE NOW WORKING SO FEEL FREE TO SEND ME A DM SKSKSK

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​​

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟

[rogersthat-cap]

Safe & Sound: Chapter 1

Summary: Everything comes crashing down in the Holland mafia. Tom needs his best mates when it’s time for him to take his role.

Pairing: Mob!Tom Holland x Mob!/BestFriend!Reader

Warnings: Some swearing, but that’s really it

Timothy finally pulls to a stop after an hour of driving. You take a glance out your window, looking up to the Holland House. It’s fairly expansive, towering over you in the small car. The gray brick is illuminated by the lights along the walkway and lights coming from the home. You squint your eyes, trying to see if you can see anyone inside. Your eyes trail up and down the three stories, landing eventually on what would’ve been Dom’s office on the third floor. He had chosen to have it in the attic, allowing him to effectively walk away from his work when he decided the day was over. Usually he kept it brightly lit when he was in there, you remember after the summer nights you spent with the family. Now, there was a single dim light.

You sigh, noticing that there is no light coming from Tom’s room. Timothy opens your door for you, and you step out carefully. Now is not the time to twist an ankle because of a misstep of gravel in heels. You adjust your skintight dress, hoping to press out any wrinkles that may have set in. You hear Timothy shut your door quietly behind you as you walk towards the house. Your eyes are flying all over, and you’re not sure what you’re looking for. An enemy hidden in the woods? Memories to bring themselves up from your memory? The brothers? Harrison? Nikki? Tom?

Your mind is swimming. You take the stairs leading up to the large white double door. You raise your hand to knock, suddenly hesitating as your eyes find pink roses.

“Thomas, what are you doing? You know your mother is going to have a fit!” You laugh at your best friend. He’s digging through his mother’s flowers, stepping in and out of the flower beds. He leaves behind large footprints from his black dress shoes.

“Oh, don’t act like you haven’t been eyeing them all night.” You cock your head towards him, eyebrow raised. Tom allows a smirk to fall on his face, glancing back at you. He has his white dress shirt sleeves rolled up halfway. His hair has fallen to cover part of his forehead. “And, besides,” He chuckles, looking back to the roses, “She won’t miss one.”

“You are nuts, Holland.”

“Well, I had to get the best one for my best girl.” He says, finally pulling one from the bush. You hope that he can’t see the blush coming from your face in the twilight. You accept it, allowing his fingers to brush against yours as you take the rose from him.

“Thank you, Tommy.”

“Anything for you, (Y/N).”

“(Y/N)!” Hearing your names breaks you out of your trance. You jump, realizing that Harrison is now standing in front of you. He wraps his arms, pulling you into a hug. You return it eagerly, taking a deep breath.

“Are they okay?”

“As okay they can be with losing their patriarch. C’mon in, love, they’re in the dining room.” You share a sad smile with Harrison, following your friend.

You drop your voice, leaning your head towards him as you walk. You hope that the clicking of your heels hides your conversation. “Do they have any idea who pulled it off?”

“They do. Tom’s taking care of it now.” Harrison mutters back. Your turn your head, meeting his gaze. “Yeah, I know. He couldn’t really take a break.” You sigh, shaking your head. Harrison does his best to shrug it off, hand on the door handle.

“Harrison..”

“It’s not what he wanted, but it’s what he has to do.” Harrison isn’t looking at you. He’s concentrated on his hand on the handle. He has his bottom lip between his teeth as he sucks in a deep breath. “We have to do what we’ve always done – be his number ones.” You hum in agreement, nodding. Harrison take this as his cue to twist open the door. “Look who I’ve found..” He announces, doing his best not to raise his voice too loudly.

You offer a small smile to the ones who have accepted you as their own. Tom may have claimed you as best friend at first, but it was Sam, Harry, and Paddy who made you their sister. It was Nikki and Dom who accepted you as a daughter. You don’t know what you can offer them now, looking at the Holland family.

Sam is sitting at the table near his mother, staring blankly in front of him. Harry stands up and away from his family, leaning against the liquor cart. He is spinning the ice at the bottom of his glass absent mindedly. Paddy has his head on the table, covering his face with his arms. Nikki is one who looks up at you, offering a smile that can’t reach her eyes. She stands up, and you move quickly towards her.

“Nikki, I’m so –“

“Everyone is, aren’t they?” Nikki interrupts you, arms reaching out to you. You step into her hug, “I’m just glad you’re here, love.” She clears her throat, blinking away tears as she lets you go. “Boys..” She chides her sons, disapproving in their lack of greeting.

Sam turns to look at you. You place a hand on his shoulder, and he puts his own on top of yours. “I was hoping that I’d see you when we went out next weekend.” You offer him a small laugh and he gives you a smile.

“We have plenty of weekends. I-I was hoping to stay a while, if that’s okay with you, Nikki.”

“Of course it is, sweetheart.”

“Don’t you remember?” You turn to look at Harry, realizing that his voice had a slight slur to it. He raises his glass to you, offering a cynical smile, “You’re an honorary Holland… as much good as that name’ll get you.”

“It’ll get you a lot of places, so long as you’re not too shitfaced to use it.” A voice thunders, and you all turn to see who it is.

And, finally, there it is. You realize now why your head was swimming so much. He is what you’ve been searching for. You feel everything that’s been in your head freeze for the first time since you got the call. You can hear Harry scoff, but your eyes are trained on Tom, taking him in for the first time since he raised to the position.

He’s holding himself taller. The black tie that he was wearing is pulled loose, and he looks similar to how he did all those years ago when he stole you a flower. His sleeves are rolled, brown hair askew, but there’s one thing that’s different. His hands have flecks of red on them, and they’re on his shirt too.

“Harrison, (Y/N), you’re with me. We have some things to discuss.” He nods for you both to follow him. You offer Sam one last squeeze on his shoulder before following Tom. Harrison pushes himself off from his spot on the wall where he’s been watching.

“Be careful following him, you lot.” The three of you glance back at Harry. You hear Tom suck in a breath, notice him clench his fists. “You might be the ones who take a bullet next.”

Instinctively, you take Tom’s arm just as he steps toward Harry. You can see a moment of fear in Harry’s eyes, but, as you hold on to Tom, he snickers and takes another swig from his glass. Nikki says his name harshly, but Tom just stares. You hear him release his breath harshly. He adjusts his arm as if to escort you out and leads you and Harrison out of the room.

“Stupid fucking twat.” Tom mutters as he leads the way up the stairs. He continues a slew of curse words as you walk the staircase. There’s a moment where you take a misstep and Tom pauses, seeming to realize you and Harrison are there. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to drag you up here like that.” He presses a kiss to your cheek, “Thanks for coming so quickly.”

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t here in the first place. I should’ve –“

“No, you shouldn’t have been there. You get your time outside, just like everyone else. And I already enough people to worry about with that bloke around.” Tom turns to grin at Harrison.

“Hey, someone has to make sure you don’t sleep with the wrong people.” Harrison chuckles, shrugging, “I’m happy to be of service.” You roll your eyes, playfully nudging Tom away. The three of you share a small laugh as you continue up the stairs. Finally, you reach the door of Dom’s office. The three of you pause again and stare at the door.

“All those years, only being allowed to be up here to be yelled at."H Harrison murmurs.

“All those years watching the two of you get yelled at.” You smirked at the boys, “Dom would never yell at me.”

“Because it was usually my plan and I’d beg you both to follow along. Now look at us…” Tom smiles, squeezing your hand, then patting Harrison’s shoulder. “We’re about to go into my office.” You and Harrison share a glance as Tom turns and opens the door. You allow your arm to fall away from Tom’s as he walks in. Harrison follows behind and, taking a breath, you follow as well.

Leather, tobacco, and bourbon. It floods your senses and reminds you of Dom. Tom’s already sitting behind the desk, adjusting papers and trying to get his bearings. Harrison’s made his way over to the liquor cabinet and is pouring caramel colored liquid into three glasses. You sit in one of the two maroon, leather chairs on the opposite side of the desk. You cross your legs, accepting the glass Harrison hands you. He places another in front of Tom and sips from his own as he takes a seat beside you.

“So, obviously, you’re both going to be my right hands.” Tom takes a swig from his glass, setting it back down. “If you both are alright with that.. I couldn’t really choose.” He gives you both a small smile, looking between the two of you.

“Of course, mate.”

"Whatever you need, Tom."

He nods, “Right then. Well, right to business then. The man who killed my father is Davon Chester. As of yet, he’s not talking. I haven’t killed him yet because he hasn’t spoken who he’s working for. Who paid him to take the hit.”

“Do you want one of us to speak with him?”

“Yeah, like good mob member, bad mob member?” Harrison jokes, and Tom just stares at him for a moment. However, you can’t help but to laugh. Your laughing gets Tom to join in, and soon the three of you are laughing heartily. Whether it is because Harrison’s joke was truly funny or you can’t believe the predicament the three of you in are now, none of you know. But you’re together, and that’s enough for the time. “I’ll pour everyone another.” Harrison smiles, pouring each of you more.

Two soon becomes three, and, eventually, the glass bottle is empty. You each share pink cheeks from laughter. You each reminiscence of the easier, younger days. Luckily, the rest of the Hollands leave the three of you alone after Harry’s outburst. Harrison looks to the clock on the wall and lets out a low whistle.

“Two in the morning. I think I’m going to have to call it a night.. We’ve got a long night tomorrow, don’t we?” He looks to Tom who nods.

“Funeral.” Tom answers shortly to your questioning expression. You purse your lips, rubbing them together and nodding.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning.” Harrison gets up from your chair, kisses your head and nods to Tom. “Sleep tight.”

Your eyes follow Harrison as he walks out of the room. He shuts the door behind him, and, as the door clicks shut, you look to Tom. It’s as if he can finally let all of his barriers down. You see tears in his eyes, and then they begin to spill out. They’re slow, and then all at once.

“Oh, Thomas…” You murmur, turning to wrap your arms around his head. He allows you to step between his legs, and then his arms wrap around your thighs. He pulls you close, hugging and burying his face in your stomach. You run your fingers through his hair, doing your best to soothe him.

“I was in the next room. I should’ve been there. I should’ve helped him.”

“Tom, you did what you could. This isn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t want this job.”

“I know, I know.” You put some space between the two of you, leaning against the desk so you can look at him. “But this is it now. And you have many people who are behind you. Harrison and I have your back – we always have.” You hold his face in your hands, using your thumbs to rub away any and all tears. He clears his throat and nods.

He takes a moment to stand up, right in front of you. You drop your hands down to your sides, offering a small smile. “As soon as it happened, I needed you.” Tom takes one of your hands into his, “I had to have you by my side, to know that you were safe.”

“And I’m here now.” You squeeze his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.” He hums in agreement, taking a deep breath.

“You’re always by my side,” he murmurs. In that moment, you realize that the way he’s looking at you has changed and you can feel your heart hammer in your chest. His eyes are softer, and you can’t tell if it’s from the crying or the liquor or from the stress finally melting away or from you. Tom leans down a bit, moving closer to your face.

You reach up to meet him, aching to finally – finally ¬– kiss him after all these years. Your lips meet, and you feel a sigh leave your lips. Tom pulls you close, opening his mouth to you, and you just about melt. You want to pull him close, give him the contact he needs and fulfill what you’ve always wanted. That’s when you can taste the bourbon on your tongue. You hesitate, and then you pull away, pushing away Tom gently.

“I can’t do this right now.”

“What?” He squints down at you, eyebrows furrowing. For a moment, you think that his cheeks are pink because he’s getting angry or because he wants you, but then you realize that it’s also from the liquor. It’s begun to make his eyes hazy. You know it’s making it difficult for you to walk away. You push him away a little farther, but you allow your hand to linger as you push yourself off the desk, using him as a balance point.

“I want you. I’ve always wanted you, but not like this. Not after you’ve been grieving for a great loss all day or you’ve been drinking. I’ve wanted you to realize that, after all this time, I’ve been here for you. I’m not going anywhere. I want you, Thomas Holland, but I want you to want me too.” You bite your lip, sighing. “I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but I’m going to my room for the night.”

You tap him lightly on the chest before moving away. You walk to the door and are about to walk out. You hear the sound of air moving as Tom sits back in the leather chair. You can feel his eyes on you. You want to look back at him, but you know that you’ll be done for if you do. You continue to walk out the door but almost trip when you hear him call out after you.

“Anything for my best girl.”

[sad-dreamer93]

Scared. Chapter 1

@thebutterflygirl16

"Ms. Olivia, it's nice to have you here in NXT" Mr. Regal says with a smile on his face. its been a long journey to get here. almost 6 years. i had gone through the independent scene like most of the others, small little companies that nobody had heard of. My journey to become a wrestler started when i was only 19. I had just graduated high school and knew college wasn't for me. so i started wrestling instead. 

"Gentlemen, welcome" Mr, Regal says which shakes me from my thoughts. i looked up to see that the Undisputed Era were walking through the door. "this is going to be the newest member of your group, Gentlemen this is Olivia" he says. all eyes in the room focused on me. i could feel my heart drop into my stomach. They all smiled, as introduced themselves. i could feel my anxiousness rising. Let's just say i don't have the best past with men. i dealt with an alcoholic father growing up, an abusive brother, and many ex boyfriends who were abusive. i started wrestling because it helped me learn how to protect myself.  i was once again shaken from my thoughts by Mr. Regal talking "Olivia, you'll be travelling with them, so you can get better acquainted, and to grow your bond as a team." he says. i slowly nod.  He dismisses us from his office. I started walking back to the girls locker room, but i feel someone grab my shoulder. i flinch and quickly turn around.

 "Sorry, i didn't mean to scare you, but we're about to head to catering for some lunch if you want to join us" Kyle says. 

"no thanks, i'm not hungry" i say quickly walking away. I was so happy when i entered into the girls locker room. its the one place where i'm safe. No guys allowed. i put in my headphones, hoping that the sounds of music would ease my mind. 

You've got my attention There's no need to hurt your self this way You think no one will notice you're feeling When you cry yourself to sleep

You feel stuck on the outside looking inside Wishing this life wasn't your life And you think you're damaged way beyond repair Well you're not so far that I can't get to where you are

I could feel the tears starting to come, I always wondered why i was dealt the cards i was. nobody understood my pain. i'm broken. defective. I'm the girl nobody wants to be around. i had always been a loner. ever since elementary school. there wasn't exactly room for the little chubby girl in anybody's friendship circles. middle school and high school just brought more pain. Bullying, abuse, even rape. 

I was 16, and extremely stupid trying to do anything to just fit in. but it turned out i could never fit in. My "friends" had taken me to a college party one night, where someone spiked my drink. i don't remember all the details, but i do remember waking up at one point to four guys holding me down, taking turns raping me. i couldn't move, i couldn't fight back. all i could do was watch. Ever since that night i haven't trusted guys. i had lost all faith that good ones still exist.

i looked down at my phone, realizing i needed to start getting ready, we had a match coming up soon.  i quickly put my gear on. i wasn't one of those girls who showed off their body, i was really self conscious. i wore pants in the ring, and i wrestled in a t shirt. next was hair and makeup, my favorite. I was glad when they agreed to keep it simple. i hated being a human Barbie doll.  

"Hey Olivia" Roddy says as he and the guys approaching me. 

"Hi" i say quietly

"alright Olivia, you're good to go" the makeup artist says i nod and get up, walking over to where the guys were standing waiting for me. 

"you look awesome" Bobby says acknowledging my Undisputed Era shirt. i looked down, afraid to speak. 

"You're up in 5" one of the production people informs us. i follow them as they walk to the curtain. The plan was for them to cut a promo introducing the newest member, which is when i'd come out. Tonight we were facing Sanity and i knew i'd have my hands full with Nikki Cross. 

'Shock the System' echoes through the arena. i watch as the guys walk out, instantly hearing cheers. i watch as they stood on the stage, each taking their turn on the mic. 

"We found a solution to the problem known as Nikki Cross" Adam says cockily. that was my queue, i walked out behind them.

i watched as Sanity rushed toward us. I instantly ran toward Nikki, spearing her to the ground and punching her. we fight back and forth for a few minutes until we were separated by referees coming out to stop the craziness. I see Mr. Regal walking out looking furious.

"this has gone far enough, right now in that ring it will be the Undisputed Era, and Sanity in an 8 man tag team match." Mr. Regal says

The match quickly broke down, as to be expected. Nikki and I fought on the outside, ending with her throwing me into the announce table.  i watched as Adam quickly rolled up Eric for the win. 

Adam, Kyle and Roddy scrambling out of the ring and up the ramp. i slowly got up and walked toward them, they each had a smirk on their face as they walked toward the back, knowing they had won the battle. but the war was far from over.

"you okay? looked like you hit the table pretty hard" Adam asks looking slightly concerned. i nodded, and walked toward the girls locker room. i wanted as much alone time as i could get. Tonight we had a 2 hour drive to the next town, and i was not looking forward to it. 

i showered and got dressed into my sweat pants and oversized hoodie.  i walked to the parking lot. i noticed the guys were already loading stuff into the car. Adam took my bags from me placing them in the trunk. i quickly realized i was going to be stuck in the middle between two of them. just great. i took my seat, and putting in my headphones. i just wanted this to be over. Adam slid in beside me, as did Bobby. i could feel my body start to tense up a little bit. i closed my eyes hoping to relax myself. i had remained that way for a while, if i had to guess, i'd say an hour or so. 

"Olivia" Adam says as he gently shakes my shoulder causing me to jump.

"Jesus are you that easy to scare" Bobby asks laughing

"we're stopping for dinner, what do you want?" Kyle asks

i shrugged. not giving an answer. to be honest i hated eating around people. it is one of my biggest insecurities. 

"shrugging isn't an answer" Kyle says

"you should know by now girls never make up their mind on where they want to eat" Roddy says causing them to laugh. i looked down at my feet, turning up the volume on my music not wanting to hear anything else they had to say.

When the car suddenly stopped, i looked up seeing that we were in an ihop parking lot. i felt Adam touch me again, causing me to jump again. i took my headphones out.

"come on, we're going to eat" Adam says, i noticed that everyone else had started walking toward the restaurant. i shook my head.  "why aren't you eating?" he asks i could hear worry in his voice. i didn't answer. i simply put my headphones back in and watched as he slid out of the car. 

i leaned back in my seat, resting my head against the headrest. i closed my eyes and let sleep take over my body. i woke up to Adam and Bobby sliding into the backseat. i kept my eyes closed hoping they would leave me alone. Thankfully it worked. but i could hear them talking amongst themselves.

"any ideas what's wrong with her? she won't eat, or really speak" Adam asks 

"i don't know man, but whatever it is, i'm worried about her" Bobby says

"me too" i hear the others say

"should we try to talk to her?" Kyle asks

"or would that just make things worse?" Roddy asks

you'll never know the truth. i think to myself. i listen as they continue to talk.

"i'll try to talk to her tonight" Adam suggests. 

We arrived at the hotel, i grabbed my bags from the trunk, and checked in. my heart once again dropped once i found out i'd be sharing a room with Adam. i slowly walked to the room, hoping for some kind of miracle. 

i walked into the room, seeing there was only one bed, which he was sitting on. and a couch. i knew i wasn't sharing a bed, so i took the couch. he smiled at me, walking over to me and sat down beside me. he placed his hand on my knee, causing me to flinch.

"you okay?" he asks worry evident in his voice.

i nod. tears threatening to spill over. i quickly look down at the floor, hoping he wouldn't notice. thankfully he didn't.

"you know if there's something bothering you, you can always talk to one of us. he says gently. i could hear in his voice that he meant every word. but i knew i couldn't let my defenses down. i couldn't risk getting hurt again. 

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 10/26 NXT 10/28 NXT UK 10/29 Smackdown 10/30

Raw:

Wonder what 19/11 means.

...Arsenic??... What in the-- WHY IS SHE SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

Boy y’all really nailed home how agonizing his suffering was before he died. My head hurts, this show is demented.

My god there are legitimately 2 of these psychopaths now.

wwe production should give Alexa’s voice a reverb effect whenever she says “let him in”

Girl is actually laughing hysterically while Bray ruthlessly murders Rambling Rabbit. Goodbye.

This act works so much better as a duo, Alexa was right in requesting to work with Bray.

kekekek Shayna makes a list of women she wants on her Survivor Series team; Nia snags the list and sees she’s not on it. Whose idea was this tag team? Need to know who I’m sending a fruit basket to.

Appreciate Mandy clarifying that Otis and her are still close, but I don’t understand why wwe separated them.

What is with everyone wearing black??

Lmfao this man really tried giving his rose to Shayna SIR PLZ. He had a better chance giving it to Sonya lesbireal.

Dana actually having a decent speaking segment. Half point.

“I feel like this is a joke. Is this like punk’d? Are we-- are we getting punk’d?” Nia came to entertain tonight.

Why can’t wwe just implement GMs again? Love Adam Pearce but he’s literally just playing the role of GM. Just keep them in the background with the mere purpose of cohesion. Good example: Paige. Bad example: Corbin.

This actually makes sense. You have the tag champs automatically being added, cuz duh, and the tag team who are undefeated since forming and moving to Raw. So have the 5th team member fight for the spot. I don’t hate that at all. At least there’s logic being applied.

I will never not hate Peyton’s theme. Yikes.

WHAT THE FUCK IS NIKKI CROSS’ NEW THEME LMFAO why are we throwing some bland, midwest country rock track with such a slow tempo at her??!? oof rip. Sucks for Nikki that Alexa wanted something more for her career but one could not possibly blame her, so.

ahahahaha I just noticed Nia took Byron’s seat. She’s so fucking funny.

Look if y’all are gonna do the move where someone lifts you over the top rope to set you on the apron, FUCKING JUMP FOR THEM. They’re not supposed to dead lift you.

Nice kick to Nikki by Lana; sloppy vault over the top rope. It’s kay, she isn’t even the worst one in this match lesbihonest.

Lacey gets Nikki in position for a suplex off the top rope, and Peyton - as quick as can be - jumps in to throw Lacey in a German suplex. That was smooth with very minimal set up. Points.

So Lana steals the win by pinning Nikki and the camera pans to all 4 team members looking absolutely shook. I am dying.

Interesting to see them focus on Peyton’s disappointment.

aaaaand rip Lana for the 6th time.

Such a jarring remix of Alexa’s song.

I know y’all are super weird and choose to sexualize/fetishize everything that you don’t understand, but I appreciate Alexa’s new persona. It’s like Firefly Funhouse characters meets Disney themed characters (which is core to Alexa) meets Harley Quinn. It’s a fitting cosplay with fitting demeanors. So if y’all could quit talking about ageplay like a bunch of weirdos, that’d be great.

Alexa and I are the same age and tbh I’m kind of shook on her behalf to see her share these segments and storylines with Randy Orton. Like I was a kid watching his feud with triple h. We were mere preadolescent kids lol. Good for her.

I like that she’s immune to Fiend’s name now that she’s fully embraced him become brainwashed.

Omg she’s just sitting on the turnbuckle laughing at them.

So Fiend is just a looming threat to Orton rn? Just letting Orton know that eventually he’ll have to answer for the fire he started all those years ago? I wasn’t here for Bray’s run back then so I’m kind of trying to piece this all together. Anyway fine segment. I don’t much care about Drew vs Orton but I appreciate Orton selling the intensity of the Fiend. He’s a good worker.

Highlight: Completely split between Nia being hilarious & Alexa being creepy as hell

---

NXT:

Well at least they’re keeping Ember backstage for her promos. That’s an improvement.

True, Dakota as a babyface was awful. Not sorry. Her character consisted of “scared” and “sad”... That’s it.

Big fan of the set for nxt tonight.

It’s so rare to see someone handle Rhea, what a nice dynamic.

These 2 are best friends irl, aren’t they? Enjoyable to watch them go punch for punch back and forth. If nothing else, they’re definitely selling that they’re pretty evenly built.

True though, Rhea does have her athleticism going for her. Rhea’s kicks are a beautiful thing to see. Soccer player ftw.

Really like this match. It’s cool to see the range of different matches Rhea can have. It’s not often you see her in an underdog type of role, and you wouldn’t think she could thrive as one, but it works for her just the same as being a dominant powerhouse. Shouldn’t be surprised though, her vs Charlotte at wm was a banger, and Charlotte was definitely the dominant force in that match.

Commentators said Rhea’s inverted cloverleaf has tapped out “many” superstars in nxt, and I just wanna know who? Cuz I have zero recollection of such.

Good showing for Raquel. Gave zero shits about her prior to this. She’s always just been the Diesel to Dakota’s Shawn Michaels.

GREAT counter by Rhea from the one armed powerbomb into nearly a headscissors takedown.

This match is very well paced.

Oh yes, that’s the type of match that easily could’ve gone longer and left me wanting more, which is a hell of a compliment. I underestimated how good this would be.

Wow they’re having Poppy rob us of Io’s theme song? For shame.

So how does the wheel actually work? Do they really not get a chance to plan out their stip matches? That’s weird. I love it, but it’s weird. Is it rigged? It’s gotta be rigged, right?

Love the black and orange themed ladders.

lmao Candice’s reaction to the bag of body parts. Fantastic.

Did Candice hit Io in the face with a laptop?? Honestly, points.

Lol chalk outlines on the tables. The theme is great.

Oh man, a moonsault straight onto chairs. rip Io’s midsection.

Wicked suplex onto the sitting chair, oof. Looked like Io clipped that.

Meteora into a steel ladder, which then fell on Io. She taking a beating lol.

Commentators mentioning Johnny counter: 3

Kinda cool spot twisting Candice’s ankle in a chair. Of course, it’s not like Candice sold the damaged ankle anyway, so.

Swinging neckbreaker through the tables - a spot that would’ve been great if the commentators had actually sold it and there was a real crowd.

idk who the hell is helping Candice, but I think it’s just fantastic that Shotzi came in to stop them.

“LeRae can’t reach,” as if this match wouldn’t have been over if she would’ve just climbed up one single ring.

Welp Candice is dead now. Fell off the top of the ladder through another ladder. Nasty landing. rip. 

Brutal match, but it still wasn’t better than their first match. At least Candice did work and this wasn’t boring unlike their last takeover match. Points for the damage they caused to their bodies, eesh.

Highlight: Rhea vs Raquel

---

NXT UK:

Oh nice UK added some monitors. Good for them, even if the stream quality is kinda poor.

I like this match up. Dani Luna is an athletic powerhouse, and Valkyrie is an athletic technician. This is more the type of quality match that I’d expect on the MR - minus the storytelling/performance aspect, but that’s okay.

Really appreciate Luna’s strength for how small she seems.

Valkyrie is fun to watch. Her arm drag takedowns and counters are entertaining.

Damn Valkyrie can do a springboard cross body and a pele kick as well? What an intriguing skillset she has.

Holy shit that snap German suplex by Dani was effortlessly CLEAN.

I’m not big on Dani’s look tbh. I feel like she’d be more of a standout if her hair was a different color. I don’t think blue works for her, personally.

An interesting finisher by Valkyrie... I don’t hate it. I’m all for the result, though. Good show of respect between both competitors. Wouldn’t mind watching them again in the future.

Current day has KLR still as champion (#foreverchampion) but I’m guessing they’re really gonna have Piper be the one to inevitably end it. Should be Valkyrie as far as I’m concerned. Even if she’s trash on the mic - not saying she is cuz I have no idea - she’s super entertaining to watch.

Highlight: Dani Luna vs Valkyrie

---

Smackdown:

New year, same old Nattie trying to be the Survivor Series captain.

Billie Kay is entertaining but wbk.

Bianca, ma’am, you JUST started going here. Calm down.

“Bianca nobody really cares, or knows, what EST means, it’s totally irrelevant. I’m the boat.” lmao I genuinely love Nattie, not sorry.

SHE CLAPPED AT HER goodbye. Give me a Bianca vs Nattie match, entertain me plz.

Ah a triple threat? That’s fine I suppose, what the hell.

Why does wwe keep depriving me of Bianca’s entrance? I hate this company.

Billie Kay: *jumps in the ring to catch Bianca in a random pinfall; fails; proceeds to leave the ring once more*

Billie Kay really is a special level of awful, but at least she has character work going for her.

Good cover by Bianca to set up the basement dropkick by Nattie to break up the pin.

Boy Bianca sure did take her time breaking up that sharpshooter. You got both Nattie and Billie Kay screaming and she’s in lala land lmao.

I will genuinely cry if they ever change Bianca’s music, I stg. Good for her btw. Appropriate result.

What’s the purpose of the polaroid camera?

Soo did they basically give Carmella the layout of Sasha’s gimmick while turning Sasha babyface? Is that what’s going on? What rules is Carmella making? What shots is she calling? Why does this girl have champagne? You know who would rock the “fuck y’all I’m rich, look at my Gucci and diamonds” gimmick? The Ice Queen, Charlotte Flair.

What an adorably tiny cross.

Carmella you’re not really known for winning, but alright.

Hate this music btw.

Lol this fucking chair. Okay.

“Long time rivalry renewed” didn’t Asuka and Sasha have a minor feud a mere 5 months ago? That lasted one month?? Is that considered long time now???

Sasha’s makeup is off key ngl. I hate that outfit as well.

Yes, yes she was your best friend and that was really sad, but you’re not saying anything different than you have before. And you’re STILL not likeable. But hey, I’m happy for you all the same, now be as entertaining as Bayley plz.

“The whole world knows that you can win a championship, but even you know that you can’t hang onto one. Unlike me.” pppffffttttt she’s not wrong.

Who do I gotta pay to permanently separate you 2? hiac was great, let’s end the debacle now plz.

“You made me sign that hiac contract under duress,” THANK YOU BAYLEY see someone knows their legal jargon. 

Peep that gnarly bruise on Bayley’s arm. Whew.

She’s so annoying lmao.

“Backstabbing bitches never win,” hi, Sasha? Longest reigning Raw women’s champion, first ever wm main eventer, first ever women’s dual world champion, face of the company, cover of espn and 2k20 Becky Lynch just called; said that is absolutely not true.

Highlight: Bianca, Billie Kay & Natalya backstage segment

---

*Raw shined the brightest this week, but I have to shout out NXT as well for their 2 matches, particularly Rhea vs Raquel.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Selfish

"You are selfish, David, no matter how much you want to pretend that you're not. You're willing to hurt people, and you're willing to turn a blind eye while others do the hurting."

[Read on Ao3] (READ THE WARNINGS)

This had to be a dream.

Any minute now, David would wake up back in the counselor's cabin to the early morning sounds of the forest mixed with Gwen's complaints about the lack of hot water. He'd leap out of bed with overwhelming excitement and hurry off to the mess hall to prepare the day's activities before the campers could arise.

Any minute now, he'd no longer be trapped in some dark room on his knees, his hands restrained behind his back as he stared at the terrified children several feet in front of him, their arms also tied behind their backs. Neil was sobbing uncontrollably, his pleas muffled by the cloth that covered his mouth. Nikki's head was low, her little body trembling and the occasional tear hitting the cold ground beneath her.

And Max...

David could tell that Max was trying so hard to appear brave as he glared daggers at the smiling, blonde-haired man circling them like a hungry predator. But there was no hiding the absolute fear in his bright green eyes or missing the way he'd flinch as Daniel's hand gently brushed the top of their heads while he circled them.

They were scared. Of course they were scared.

"This isn't a dream, David."

David's horrified expression melted into shock as he shifted his gaze to Daniel. "Can...you read minds?"

Daniel frowned. "No, you idiot. But in my experience, the first thought that people tend to have in this situation is that they're dreaming. A desperate, naive hope that I will disappear once they open their eyes. And considering you are both a desperate and naive man, it's fair to assume that your thought process is in the same boat."

"Daniel, please..." David said, his voice shaking. "Why are you doing this? What's going on?"

Daniel let out a laugh as he came to a stop by Max, his hand continuing to gently touch the curly mess of hair atop his head. "Now, now, David. I know you're an idiot, but surely you must understand what's happening by now."

"I don't!" David said honestly, as tears began to form at the corner of his eyes. "I don't know what's happening! Please, just tell me!"

Daniel removed his hand from the top of Max's head and knelt down beside him. "Max? Care to explain the situation to David? You're good at running your mouth, right?"

Max glared viciously at him as Daniel loosened the cloth that muffled him, allowing him a chance to speak. "Fuck you, you piece of-"

"And that's enough of that."

Despite Max's best attempts to bite Daniel's hand, Daniel retied the cloth in place before he reached over to place a hand on Nikki's shoulder. "What about you, Nikki? You're a smart little lady, aren't you? Would you like to explain the situation to David?"

Nikki curled away from Daniel's touch as best she could and Daniel pulled his hand back. "No? Well, it looks like Neil's our lucky boy today. How about it, Neil? Would you like to tell David why you're all here?"

He positioned himself directly behind Neil and loosened his cloth. "H-he's going to kill us," Neil managed to say between heavy sobs.

"And why is that?" Daniel asked. "Come on, Neil, I know you love to explain things."

"H-He's a cultist, David!" Neil choked out. "A real cultist... We weren't lying about that!"

"I knew at least one of you would be compliant," Daniel said, once again retying the cloth in place over Neil's mouth. "But you get the idea, David. At least, I hope you do. I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt and not assume that you really are that dense."

David looked from the kids to Daniel as things finally began to click. "Cultist...but..."

"But what, David?" Daniel asked, tilting his head with a sickening crack as he stood up. "Are you finally catching onto something that a group of children figured out the moment I stepped into camp?"

"Wait, but if you're really a cultist," David said slowly. "You...you were trying to kill the kids! They were telling the truth about you!"

Daniel clapped his hands together in a cheerfully sarcastic fashion. "Well done, David! Though I've never been fond of the term 'cultist' personally. It just seems so...negative. But I suppose if the shoe fits, I might as well wear it! Yes, I am a cultist. I came to the camp in order to purify and sacrifice the children to my Gods. Well, that was the plan, until a meddling little counselor with a guitar distracted me long enough while I foolishly took a sip of my own poison. I mean, if I were one to hold a grudge, then I would probably be pretty upset over that. Maybe even have the desire to get revenge on the person who put me in the hospital in the first place."

David stared at him, as realization took hold. "Daniel, if you're mad at me, then fine. You can do anything you want to me, just please, don't hurt them!"

"'Don't hurt them', he says," Daniel said with a fond chuckle, as he approached David. "Of course your first instinct is to try and protect the kids. Sweet, unselfish David, always putting others first, especially his little campers."

Daniel took a knee so that he and David were eye-to-eye, his expression a look of false concern. "Oh, but, wait... If you're so unselfish, then why is it that you broke a man's nose simply for dating your ex? If you're so sweet, then why did you openly insult a child for simply not knowing the different types of trees?"

David stared at him, mouth agape. "How...how did you know all that?"

"Sleepy Peak is a small town, David," Daniel explained. "Information is so easy to retrieve in a place where people have nothing better to do then to spread it. And it's even easier to retrieve it from people who want to spread it. And I've heard plenty of things about you in particular. Very unpleasant things."

"I...I know I shouldn't have hurt Jacob," David admitted. "It was wrong, and I even paid for his hospital bill as a way to make it up to him. And Jeremy-"

Daniel shook his head. "Tsk tsk, David. Excuses are the coward's method to avoid the truth."

"Th-the truth?" David asked.

"You're not all sunshine and camping, David." Daniel stood up and headed back to where the children were situated. "You're not a kind person who wants to make everyone happy. You are selfish, David, no matter how much you want to pretend that you're not. You're willing to hurt people, and you're willing to turn a blind eye while others do the hurting." He came to a stop besides Max and knelt down again. "I mean, your own campers can't even turn to you for safety when someone with the intent to kill them enters the campgrounds. Look at Max here-"

Max attempted to jerk away from Daniel's grasp, but Daniel held his chin in a tight grip and forced him to look at David. "He went on and on about how I was a cult leader bent on sacrificing him and his buddies, and did you believe him?"

"Let go of him!"

Anger overtaking his fear for a moment, David made an attempt to lunge forward, only to cry out in pain as his restraints kept him firmly in place.

"Answer the question, David!" Daniel ordered, anger crossing his face for the first time. "Did. You. Believe. Him?"

"I..." David hung his head. "I didn't."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that," Daniel said, putting a hand to his ear. "Say it again?"

"I didn't," David repeated louder.

"Didn't what, David?"

"I didn't trust him," David said loud enough for Daniel to hear.

"You didn't trust him," Daniel repeated, his smile returning as he let go of Max. "You didn't trust a boy you've known for, I assume, a long while, but you were completely willing to trust a man you barely knew. That's not something a good person normally does."

"I made a mistake," David said. "Is that what you want me to say? That I made a mistake? That I've made plenty of mistakes? That I'm not a good person? I can say it, just please let the kids go."

"Words are cheap, David," Daniel said, as he rose to his feet again and pulled something out from behind his back. "In my experience, actions tend to be more effective."

David felt his blood run cold when he realized what the object was; a gun. "Wh-What do you mean?"

"I mean, I want you to prove to these children that you're not a good person," Daniel explained, as he loaded bullets into the gun. "I want you to prove how selfish you are. With a little choice."

"You...you're not saying-"

"Oh, don't you worry," Daniel assured him. "You won't be the one pulling the trigger. But you will be the one who chooses which of the kids get a bullet in their tiny little skull."

David stared at him in horror. "No...Daniel, please, no, you can't-"

"Or if you'd rather not choose, I could just put one in all three of their heads," Daniel said calmly. "It doesn't matter to me either way how much blood is spilled."

"How can you expect me to choose between them?!" David asked, his voice shaking. "I-I can't-"

"Oh, David. You just can't stop lying, can you?" Daniel asked. "Well, maybe we can make this a little more interesting then. Maybe make it easier for you to show just how selfish you really are."

Daniel leaned down and placed his hand between Max and Nikki, and (despite Max's attempts at struggling) gently scooted Max away from the other two before he stood up straight again. "How does this sound, David? You tell me to spare Neil or Nikki, and I'll only kill Max. But if you pick Max, I'll kill the other two."

David stared at Daniel with a look of horrified disgust. "That's...that's awful! How could you possibly expect me to pick between those choices?!"

"How is it awful, David?" Daniel asked innocently. "Any unselfish person would look at the situation and choose to save two children over one." Once again, he let his hand drift across the top of Max's hair, a motion that Max didn't bother to flinch at this time. "Especially when the one child is such a horrible, little monster like this one. Never willing to do what you say, always yelling and cursing... Frankly I feel like the world would be better off without him, don't you, David?"

"Stop it, Daniel..." David said in a low voice.

Daniel chuckled. "Oh, but of course, you love this particular child, don't you? He's your favorite out of all of them, isn't he? Your little golden boy, the one you want to succeed most out of all of them. Clearly choosing him would be one of the most selfish things you could ever do."

"I...I don't have a favorite."

David had a feeling that Daniel wouldn't believe that in a million years, even before Daniel shook his head disapprovingly. "For shame, David. Do you really want the last words that these children might hear to be more lies? You're really not setting a good example today, are you?"

He cocked the gun. "Now, I've been a patient man. But I do have other things I need to tend to. So you have about ten seconds to decide before I make the choice for you. Max or the other two children."

"Daniel, please..."

"Nine seconds."

Trembling, David looked from Neil and Nikki to Max as his mind raced wildly. "I...I...Can't you just kill me instead?" he pleaded hopefully. "It's me you're clearly mad at, just let the kids go!"

"No, no, no, David," Daniel said disapprovingly. "You don't get to pretend you're a good person now with some kind of heroic sacrifice. It's too little too late for that."

"But..."

"Six seconds left," Daniel said with a smile. "Five, four..."

"Daniel, please!"

"Three, two..." He aimed the gun right at Max's head as Max stared up at the barrel in horror. "One..."

"No!"

David's eyes widened at his own outburst and the implications it carried. Daniel lowered the gun curiously as he looked back at him with a knowing smile. "What was that, David?"

"Don't..." David said softly, guilty tears forming at the corner of his eyes. "Don't..."

"Don't what, David?" Daniel asked. "I can't read minds, David. You need to make yourself clear if you want me to listen."

"Not him, please..." David said, his words melting into sobs. "Not him..."

"Say it louder for the other kids to hear, David!" Daniel ordered, narrowing his eyes. "Say it, or I'll kill all three of them."

"Don't kill Max," David said loudly, his voice shaking. "Don't kill him, please!"

"'Don't kill Max,'" Daniel repeated with a wide smile. "So you admit you're willing to let two other child die, simply because you happen to like this one child more? You admit that you're selfish?"

"I..."

"Say it, David."

"...I'm selfish," he managed to say loud enough for Daniel to hear. "I'm selfish and I don't want him to die. God, please don't kill him... I can't lose him, please..."

Once again, Daniel clapped sarcastically. "Very good! You should be proud of yourself for finally coming to terms with this. Granted, you did struggle a bit, but that's nothing we can't work on."

David looked towards Neil and Nikki, his heart sinking at the betrayal and pain in their teary eyes. "I'm so sorry, kids. I'm so sorry..."

"Don't apologize," Daniel said, and lifted the gun up again. "You're finally being honest with them. At least they'll die knowing how you really felt."

David hung his head, and recoiled when two gunshots echoed throughout the room, immediately followed by the heavy thud of a body hitting the floor.

Wait...one body?

David felt his blood run cold as he looked up again and saw Max's lifeless body sprawled across the floor. A pool of blood had already began to form beneath him from the two bullet holes now in his head, staining his blue sweater a permanent shade of reddish-brown. Neil and Nikki stared at his body in utter horror, the tears falling harder and their pained sobs muffled by the cloths as they curled towards each other in a feeble and desperate attempt to cope with the traumatic sight.

David looked back at Daniel, his entire body numb with shock as he attempted to find his voice again. "You...you said..."

"I know what I said, David," Daniel said, as he tucked the gun back into the holster. "But why should a selfish liar be granted kindness and truth for his wrongdoings? No, no, the only thing a liar deserves is to live with his guilt. To know just how much he's hurt others. To feel the pain they've felt as a result of his hurtful words. And that's exactly what you're going to do."

David couldn't bring himself to respond as Daniel reached down to remove the cloths over Neil and Nikki's mouths. "Have a fun conversation with your second-favorites, David. I'll be back with another group later. Hopefully by then, you'll have an easier time facing the truth about yourself. And even if you haven't, well, it's like I said before: the amount of blood that spills doesn't bother me."

With a chuckle, Daniel headed for the door as the children's sobs for their dead friend grew louder without the cloths restricting them. David hung his head again, making no effort to calm them down or assure them that everything was going to be okay as the door shut behind Daniel with a sound that couldn't mask their heartbroken cries or their trembling accusations that he had picked Max over them. That he had been willing to let them die.

He knew he had no right to try and explain his choice.

They already knew the reason.

[ifnotlovethenwhatff-blog]

Chapter 16

ARIELLE

“Dodgers.”

My head shot up at the sound of my name being called ending my five minute spew of doodles. Mr. Zawada spoke was holding up my portfolio bag while simultaneously scribbling in his notebook. Quickly I strutted over to his station to retrieve my portfolio bag.

“Nice work.” He muttered, giving his infamous look of satisfaction.

I mustered up a quick smile before heading back to my table. Nikki was already leaning over on her elbows with her eyebrows going in opposite directions, waiting for me to sit down. Nikki is this the pink haired girl who always compliments me on my outfits and provides me with snacks since she realized I was pregnant. She kept my secret on the hush and for that I'm cool with her talking my ear off from time to time.

“What was all the smiling about? What you do to get on his good side?” Nikki teased taking my folder out of my hands and setting it behind our chairs.

Easing down into the seat I leant back for some back support and unbuttoned my flannel.

“I didn't do anything. I have a man Nik, you know that.” Shaking my head to her stupid ass assumption I watched my classmates one by one take back their portfolios from Zawada.

“You know I'm just messing with you. But question...why are we getting our portfolios back so soon? It's not even April yet and we still have a shit ton weeks until the class is over.” Nikki said, getting up from the table just as she finished talking.

I waited for her to sit back down so I could answer her question.

“I don't know. Maybe he wanted to give us our assignments back sooner than he planned.” I shrugged heavily.

Being six months pregnant and still going to class is beyond all of the expectations I set for myself. I didn't think I had it in me to continue with my half hour commute to class and sitting on these bar stools for three and a half hours. I'm still doing it and I'm so proud of myself. I always feared I would fall pregnant when I least expected and that is exactly what happened.

Nonetheless my life is still continuing the same as it always has with work, school, the constant bills and stress. I have an amazing support system behind me to make this journey all the more worth it.

Kamil and I have been living in our new place for about two weeks now and I love it. I love the large amount of space we now have, I love the kitchen and the floors and damn near everything in the apartment. Kamil shocked the hell out of me with the apartment of my dreams. He made one of my wishes come true and surprised me big time.

The only room that we haven't finished putting money into is the baby’s room. To be real, we haven't put forth the effort into shopping for furniture but the time has come for us to get off our asses. I'm not expecting any handouts for this project and neither is Kam. This is our child and it's our responsibility to get whatever we want and need for our baby. The only task I've got covered is finding three paint samples I like for my boy’s room.

My family and friends know me well so they know not to bombard me with blue colored baby gifts. I don't hate the color blue, I actually love it but I don't agree with that traditional color for a baby boy. I haven't shown anyone the samples I picked out because I want it to be a surprise mainly to Kamil. We agreed that I can pick out the color for the baby’s room and he can handle everything else.

By contract we aren't supposed to repaint any of the walls in our apartment but I worked an agreement with the leasing office. I'm allowed to paint one wall of my choice because I have a baby on the way. The stars just so happened to line up perfectly being that the woman who helped Kam get the place was pregnant herself. I wasn't around for the process of viewing the unit we now live in but I did get to meet her later on. She and I had something to bond over many times and I couldn't be happier with our deal.

“Girl get up..class is over.” I heard a faint voice speak close by.

Looking to my right I saw Nikki placing my portfolio bag on the table and setting my small backpack on top of it.

“I zoned out.” I mumbled, rising from my chair and grabbing Kam’s jacket. With my bag on my shoulder, the jacket across my forearm and my art bag in hand I'm all set. Nikki led the way out of class and the into the hallway.

“You got plans this afternoon?” I asked Nik, following her out to the courtyard.

“Well I have a appointment with my dick of a boss in a couple of hours so I think you know what I'll be doing.” Nikki’s aura has flipped to something dark and angry in just one sentence.

“Nikki if you hate your job so much, quit and find a better one. There are so many places you could work instead that piece of shit you call a studio. You've got skills and you should be working in a place where your talent is appreciated just as badly as your presence.” Maybe I'll motivate this girl to make a big change in her life or maybe I won't. Either way the choice is up to her and she's got to live with whatever path she travels down.  

“Yeah that's easy for you to say, you have a stable income. I'm an artist and at 24 I can't afford to be jobless even for a week. With all of the bullshit I have going on back home I have to support myself, by myself. I can't go back home. I'm not like the other kids that have family to go back to.” The sadness and desperation to be understood in Nikki’s voice made it hard for me not to get emotional.

We reached Nikki’s car and while she put her things inside I waited on the grass. I feel so much empathy for men and women like Nikki. The girl is an amazing artist and there's really nothing she can't do so I don't know what's holding her back from changing her place of employment.

Nikki took my art bag from me and set in the backseat of her car, waving me over to the passenger side.

“I'll give you a lift over to your car.” She smiled.

The short drive towards the front entrance of campus Nik and I talked about everything girls usually do. Boys, sex, fashion, clothes, food, more sex, and even a little music. Nikki is the only person I've felt comfortable socializing with on school property. My natural quiet personality hinders my desire to meet new people and quickly call people my friends. But with Nikki being a Scorpio just like I am, we clicked with no problem.

She's more of a wild one than I am but that's what makes our conversations so interesting. We both bring something different to the table and that's the best part. Nikki pulled up right beside my car and got out to give me a hand. I went and got the engine started while Nik loaded my backseat with my belongings.

“Thanks for the lift. I almost forgot I parked so far away from the building.” I chuckled giving off a shrug.

“How in the hell do you have the strength to walk that far being so pregnant? Superwoman much?” Nikki’s joke brought out a fit of giggles and a hiccup from me.

“Nah I just want to get as much exercise as I can before my body starts to hurt too much. I'm not ready for the sleepless night, the achy feet, and whatever else a full term pregnancy brings.” Smacking my lips I gave Nikki a slight hug and slid into my car.

“You must be getting ready to drive us to see daddy aren't you?” Looking at how close my belly was to the steering wheel made my eyes grow large. I'm really big and it's freaking me out a bit.

Slipping my hand between the seat and the door I moved my seat back from the steering wheel some. The space I now have is enough to get me around to where I need to go.

I've been driving around aimlessly just wasting gas trying to figure out what I want to do. The mall sounded like a good idea to do a little shopping for myself and the baby. Getting my toenails repolished and a full on foot scrub sounded great too. I just can't make up my damn mind!

Just as another idea of fun came to my mind my phone started ringing off the hook. Answering the call I switched to speaker and continued my drive.

“I know you're out of class girl, where are you?” Kamil quizzed.

“I've been out driving while my hunger rises to new levels. What are you?” I retorted quickly.

“At home..waiting for you. I don't have to go into work tonight and I want to spend time with you. I got something you can eat on.” Kamil's sexual innuendo earned him the opposite of a sarcastic remark. I'm down for some alone time with my man which will be an even bigger surprise for him.

The further along I've come, sex has been the farthest from the last thing on my mind. Kam's tried to spice up our sex life on multiple occasions and I can only recall two times where my hormones overrode my energy levels. I feel bad about neglecting him and especially since he hasn't brought up the conversation. I know he's hurt. I feel it in my gut but I never intended for our sex life to become so bland. Tonight is going to change all of that! From here on out pregnant and afterwards I vow not to deny my love the intimacy he's earned.

“I'm already on my way.” I mustered up a smooth response to which turned into phone sex. This is new too. I'm not the type to just talk about sex as if I can't have it. I'm also not the send a man nudes type either. Since I hit puberty I've prided myself in not being an overly sexual girl.

In high school, Kamil would always tell me how different I was and how one day the right nigga would come into my life. And you know what? Kam was right. He was that nigga to naturally bring out another side of me I always knew I possessed but didn't care to show off.

“We'll hurry your sexy ass up...I’ve been waiting.”

Kamil's voice is drenched in sexual tension might I admit. He sounds exactly the way I want him to. Not to mention that I can feel his energy through the phone. I know it sounds a little crazy but my guy feelings have always been on point. There has yet to be a moment in time where my instincts led me astray. I carried on our phone call for a little while longer until I couldn't take anymore teasing. I hung up and put all my focus into getting home safely.

Driving through the community gates I made my way to our building’s parking garage. My mind is only focused on one thing so I'm not even going to bother with bringing my portfolio up tonight. Killing the engine I reached behind me to grab my little bag to head up.

The second I stepped out of the car I saw a red box sitting next to the elevator. There's no one else around and my curiosity is peaked as to who's box this is. I went over to the elevator and bent over to see my name written across the top in small print.

“Oh boy.” I chucked softly. With the box in my free hand I got into the elevator and rode up to the fourth floor. The doors opened up after a couple of stops and there standing across from me was my roommate.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked, stepping out into the hall and holding the small box in between us.

“I see you got my present.”

That's all he said as he led me down the hall. Kamil was unusually quiet for someone who just talked my ear off about how much he can't wait to see me

“Kam why are you being so quiet? What's going on?” I mumbled, following behind him and shutting the front door behind us. Because these apartments are newly renovated neither of us ever have to manually lock the door. These locks are similar to the kind that hotels and resorts have installed in their doors.

Kamil freed my hands of my belongings, set them on the couch and escorted me down the hall.

“Kami-”

“Shh, don't talk yet. Just relax and let me follow through with what I've got set up.” He ordered in a nonaggressive tone. I was taken into the bathroom where there were candles and a bubble bath waiting. There wasn't any music playing but he does have some kind of video playing. I can make out the sound of water and nothing else. Also, the room smells like almond oil and mint leaves which has become such a nausea reliever as pregnant woman.

“Almonds and mint. You didn't forget.” I smiled taking in the sight of the bathroom. Tapping the side of my belly I felt a tear slide down my cheek and over my chin.

Kam kissed my cheek and began undressing me while I stood still in shock at what I'm looking at. The gesture is so minuscule but it means so much to me. We need this night and I'm praying we both end up satisfied and a little closer again.

“How could I forget your favorite scent? I know you like I know the hair growth on my balls.” Kam laughed obnoxiously in my ear.

“You're a damn fool but I love you so damn much. Thank you for tonight. I need this..you need this..we need this. And look I want to apologize for neglecting our sex life. I never want you to feel like I don't want you because that's far from the truth. I've just become so caught up in trying to stay healthy and to keep working. I love you baby and I have missed you so much.”

We shared a tender and tension filled kiss which helped to speed up the process of getting this night started. Kamil and I undressed each other a bit faster than a snail’s pace to savor every second of phase one.

“Mm mm mm.” He groaned deeply. Kam softly placed a hand on my back, rubbing my skin with the pads of his fingers.

“What?” I smiled.  

“You still smell like you did this morning. How is that possible? You don't sweat do you?” He asked me.

Shaking my head I walked over to the tub and lifted my leg to step inside. Kamil came up behind me and swiftly picked me up off the floor. Next thing I know he's stepping into our tub with me in his arms. After the lower half of our bodies were submerged in hot water I let out my long withheld breath.

“First of all, I do sweat. Second, thank you for the compliment. And lastly, where did that strength come from Incredible Hulk?”

Kam tipped his head back and began roaring with laughter. I too joined in on the laughter. This feeling I have right now is feeding my soul with something I never had before. I feel strong, loved and so fucking happy.

“What? I'm serious. I need some answers.” Calming myself down I leant back on his chest and took my hair out of its bun. Shuffling my curls around with my fingers I looked around for my cup.

When I laid eyes on my big plastic cup I filled it up with water and poured it over my frizzy hair. I kept going until Kamil helped me out.

“I've always been strong Elle. And being with you and going through the ups and downs that I have had only added to that strength. You want me to wash it for you?” He offered, reaching for my co-wash.

“Thank you.” Sitting up further I held onto my knees and stared at the ceiling as Kam worked through my curls. As a word replacement Kamil gave me a gentle scalp massage.

Moans and groans of every pitch are escaping my mouth and filling the room. It feels amazing to be catered to in such a loving way. Like I just cannot shake this boy. I love him so much and every emotion he makes me feel. Even when I'm super pissed and want to drown him in a tub, I can't let him go. We've been waiting so long for this and I don't plan on letting go anytime soon.

KAMIL

When I tell you I'm dumbfounded by how this night has gone, believe me I am. Tonight is on my list of favorites of how well the sex was. I didn't want to put much thought into getting my nut off but I was wrong. I thought Arielle would be more into sex being that pregnant women tend to be very horny. She is very in tune with her body and she seems to be proud of the way it looks. Hell, I'm proud to see my lady carry our baby within her own body and still keep a smile on her face.

Turning over to check the time I fell out at how late it is. It's three in the morning and here I am just looking around at my environment..at my home in awe. I know this is real life but as of now I feel like it’s all a dream. Losing Arielle forever is my absolute fear and times such as this one allows that paranoia to creep in. Life with her just seems too good to be true at times and it scares the shit out of me.

Leaning down to kiss on Elle’s exposed shoulder blade, I felt her barely shift from my action.

I paused for a moment to see if she would wake up or at least roll over to face me.  When I made a second move to wake up Elle, I watched her turn over on her back and stare up at me with one eye.

“What?” She mumbled, hardly opening her mouth to be loud.

“Hey..how you doing?” I smiled, kissing all over her face and neck.

Arielle knew she couldn’t fight the giggles that were coming out of her mouth a mile a minute.

“Okay..okay! What do you want? Why are you up right now?” She asked, sitting up and stretching her arms.

“I was thinking and I got lonely. Can I ask you something Arielle?”

Arielle whipped her head around quickly and all to cut her eyes at me. “Spit it out Shanon.”

“Are you still attracted to me in a sexual context? We’ve had the bare minimum of intimacy since November. I’m not trying to start a fight or nothing but we used to fuck on a regular basis and now you don’t seem as interested in sex as you used to. Is it me..is it us?”

Breathing sharply Arielle reached across me to grab my shirt and cover herself with. She scooted back to support her back using the headboard. I took it upon myself to lay across her lap, gently gripping her thigh.

“Kam..a lot has changed from before we broke up. A lot of the personality I used to possess has been altered because of our breakup. Now that we’re together once again and preparing to become a family..my old feelings are slowly coming back. I’ve always loved you so don’t ask me if I do. I am sorry for making you feel unwanted just because I’m pregnant because that is not the case. I’ve been so caught up in trying to make it through each day with as little stress as possible that I began straining our relationship as a couple. I promise to make this up to you in every way my tiny mom brain can think of.”